#time for getting into mario again but i CAN fantasize)

[un-pearable]

MARIO GOOD

[cyberrat]

72nd Batch Of Fics: 12th Fill

Hana/Brigitte – cont B71F14 – Part 1/2 (or 3) – transwoman Brigitte; girls in love; dirty talk; (fantasizing about) anal – Brigitte and Hana make a fun bet!

---

Hana’s hand is wrapped around Brigitte’s ponytail, keeping her nice and close so she can keep sucking kisses into Brigitte’s mouth that take the breath out of her lungs.

She’s so much taller than Hana but when she’s with her she feels so soft and submissive and really really thankful that Hana doesn’t feel an ounce of shame crawling all over her.

It’s still difficult to believe that they are girlfriends now.

Hana is sitting sideways on Brigitte’s lap but for once there is a lull in their kissing and she just sighs all content and puts her head against Brigitte’s shoulder.

Brigitte draws idle little patterns on her thigh with a finger, thoughts just moving along. She’s half-hard but she doesn’t feel a particular urge to do something about it just now.

“What are your plans for the weekend? I thought we could do something…”

Hana hums thoughtfully, then sighs again; this time not all that content but a bit annoyed. “I can’t. I got to practice some stuff. There’s this charity tournament coming up and I can’t blow them off…”

“Well you shouldn’t, if it’s charity,” Brigitte says earnestly. “But uh… what kind of event? Like… video games?”

Hana nods, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger. “Sure! What other type of tournament would I be in, dummy?”

“Do you really have to practice for that? I mean… you already play so long each day, you’re a pro at everything.”

“It’s not one of my go-to games. I’m super rusty at it.”

Brigitte does not look convinced.

Hana rolls her eyes. “Listen. I know that you’re like a… video game virgin or something. Just believe me that it’s not that easy.”

“I am not! My dad played those really really old ones with me. Mario. But we… kind of got distracted I think, trying to pimp the system.”

She squints into the middle distance, trying to recall what exactly happened. Hana thumping her shoulder again jerks her out of her thoughts to look at her.

“Well first of all: that sounds fucking amazing and if there’s a pimped SNES in your garage, I absolutely want to see it. And second: why don’t we do a little bet?”

“What kind of bet?”

Brigitte tugs a loose strand of hair behind Hana’s ear. She tends to get distracted by how pretty she is; everything on her so dainty and pixie-like with a fierce personality that seems way too big for her body.

Hana curls her arms around Brigitte’s neck, pulling herself in until their tits are pressed together and her mouth is against her ear.

“I’ll let you play some Super Mario and if you can beat the first like… three stages or something without a game over, I’ll blow off practice and fuck you all. Weekend. Long.”

She suckles on Brigitte’s ear, biting into the soft flesh and pulling on it until the words have properly sunk into her brain and she curls her arms around Hana’s waist, holding her close to her body.

“And if I lose?”

Hana giggles, putting her head on Brigitte’s shoulder. “Well then I got to practice all weekend and you got to take care of your big fat cock all by your lonesome.”

She wiggles her ass back and forth, probably having been able to feel Brigitte’s half hard erection for the past hour or so.

Brigitte swallows thickly and nods. Honestly, it sounds like too much fun not to try and do it.

“Okay. Yeah, that sounds fair.”

Hana squeals in delight, pressing a kiss against her girlfriend’s cheek and jumping up to get things ready.

Brigitte sits there, watching her hectically move about the room, trying to refrain from sliding a hand underneath her skirt and curling her fingers around her cock. She presses down on it until it is between her thighs which she clenches around her dick. It’s a bit painful but that’s kind of what she was going for anyway.

Anything to make her stop pushing toward that edge. Anything so she wouldn’t come just from watching Hana’s little ass bouncing around the room and fantasizing about holding her thighs together while she carefully squeezes her way into her perfect little peach.

And she could do that all weekend long. Just fuck Hana and fuck her and fuck her more until her pussy is so sore she begs her for some reprieve.

And then, maybe, she’ll offer Brigitte up her asshole. That secret little furl of muscle that Hana is surprisingly shy about getting wrecked on cock.

Fingers impatiently snapping in front of Brigitte’s face startle her out of her thoughts.

She looks up at Hana whose expression goes from exasperated to smug. Reaching out, she touches her cool fingertips to Brigitte’s flushed cheek.

“Have you been thinking something naughty just now?” she purrs. “Oh, what a dirty girl you are…”

Brigitte swallows thickly. Not knowing what to say, she just stares as Hana’s grin becomes wider.

“Have you been thinking about your reward?” she asks softly. She puts a hand on Brigitte’s shoulder and reaches down with the other to slowly – oh so slowly – ruck up her skirt.

She’s wearing panties underneath… but she might as well not. They’re so thin, Brigitte can see her gash through their fabric; her peach looking ripe and juicy and just perfect for Brigitte to fit her mouth around and suck until her labia are obscenely swollen along with her little clit-

“Oh wow… fuck… you really are horny, aren’t you?” Hana sounds surprised and delighted. Tucking the hem of her skirt into its waistband, she slowly lets a single finger dance along her slit. Once. Twice.

Tickling herself and mewling out the sweetest, breathiest moans. They’re played up, probably… but they sound so good-

Brigitte presses both hands against her lap, trying to keep her cock trapped. It’s throbbing painfully.

“Naughty little girlie… only thinking about sticking that big fat cock of your’s into my poor little cunny, are you?” Hana asks. It sounds a bit degrading; and Brigitte has trouble swallowing all the saliva flooding her mouth.

“I’m already starting to wet through my panties, you know…”

Brigitte has to wrench her gaze away from Hana gently brushing her finger along her gash. She stares at her cat-like eyes; the sharp, knowing grin on her face – and realizes that the game has already begun.

Hana isn’t playing fair, of course. She should have known.

Brigitte licks her lips, somehow finding her voice.

“You uh… you’re done, right?”

Hana’s eyes glitter. She looks dangerous in that moment; like a predator… only that Brigitte is some very willing prey.

“Oh I’m nowhere near done. But yeah. I set everything up. Sit on the floor, doggy, the cable isn’t long enough. We’re going full old school for this. You’re going to appreciate that, right?”

Brigitte starts to wonder if she should regret ever having poked that particular hornet’s nest, but honestly… she can only go out of this a winner at this point. Hana obviously is in a devious mood and while they haven’t been together for that long yet, Brigitte has found that Hana in a devious mood always ends up in some kind of orgasm.

So why the heck not?

“Do your worst.”

“Oh… I’ll make you eat those words.”

[toontails]

Ohhh I didn't even realise that it was Bettigans gun lmao 😂 Gotta love Charlie, am I right?

Anyways, HC's for Cups and Mugs please and ty 🥺👉👈

Typing for toon quest and writing hcs is crazzzyyy, all this work y’all got me going 🧐

Cuphead

-will literally sell both kidneys to prove how much he loves Y/n

-Dosen’t have an indoor voice at all

-evertime he opens his mouth. He’s unconditionally loud

-you have a fear of heights? Hold onto him, you guys are going to fly a plane right now

-can’t stay focused on one subject

-actually he can’t stay focused, period

-“What shirt makes me look good?”

-“doll, you look fine just the way you are.”

-“k. That’s lit but. I have a job interview so please answer the question?”

-it’s very hard to beat him in any game. The only game he’s not good at. Is Mario kart

-“let’s make a deal?”

-everytime those words come from his right. Y/n runs straight to Mario Kart. The only safe haven that would let her win

-and Cuphead knows he isn’t good with that game.

-in a way he’s unfair because he knows he’ll win in any other game to get what it wants

-“Jesus—why are we playing this again? I thought you loved uno?! Why can’t we play uno?!”

-“because, I need to win. You don’t understand.”

-if he does win in Mario kart that’s only because he cheated

Mugman

-dosen’t talk much

-not that he’s shy. He just dosen’t have much to say

-hates being the middle of attention.

-there’s such a big difference between him and Cuphead if they didn’t look alike you’d suspect them as friends

-hates confrontation

-but can get to the T when it comes to setting things right

-despite his demeanor. He’s a ticking time bomb of irritation

-can get irritated real fast

-literally only likes spending time with Y/n as any other human on the mainlands makes him want to toss a car at them

-might have bottle cap collection, who knows

-“now what did I tell you about climbing trees!”

-if Y/n’s under his watch, he’s not letting her get away with anything

-“Mugman. We’re literally the same age. I can do stuff by myself.”

-“don’t talk back to me.”

-“whatever.”

-reads books a lot

-he can literally recite a play

-loves sitting down with Y/n and reading stories to her

-might fantasize about him and her in some romance stories but you didn’t hear that from me

-has a shit ton of anxiety but dosen’t show it too much.

-trust he was worst as a child

[ihaveopinionstooyaknow]

FEMALE GAZE: maybe he isn't so bad?

So, I do not have tiktok. I have finally rid myself of that intrepid parasite that plagued my psyche for years, yes! But I do still allow youtube to take my nutrients, and I stumbled upon this man “Kevin”, “Female Gaze Kevin.” 

This guy is fucking ugly.

He has a receding hairline, lips straight from the ocean, and ice age eyes. “Now, why would you be so cruel? I have one of these features, I look similar to him-” Are you a shit person who takes advantage of women? If you answer “yes” then you are ugly too, if “no” then keep walking buddy we are NOT talking about you. 

So why are all these women fawning over him?

Well, first let’s discuss “nice guys.” A nice guy is typically a gross man who pushes boundaries, and feels entitled to sex with a woman. It is often synonymous with “incels.” We have all gone to school with plenty of nice guys! Some of us even made the mistake of dating them. Now, we can all admit that to date one of those sleaze bags you have to have pretty low self worth, tossing your wellness to the breeze just to get… unwashed penis? Gaslit? Maybe you just really dream of flashing someone to win at mario kart, and then having them get actually mad that you ruined their lap? 

So why is Kevin different? What separates Kevin from that boy in your physics class that you keep catching staring down your shirt? 

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

With the release of “The Batman” and Paul Dano’s Riddler, a spike in romanticization of these types was seen across the internet, teenage girls everywhere begging for the incels they mocked a month ago. Girls started dreaming of the pervert, the man who will undoubtedly give them sexual attention and will apparently have eyes for no one but her. It’s similar to the attraction to Joe Goldberg. Being the girl he will be satisfied with, being “his woman.” But, and forgive me for spoilers, what was wrong with Beck? Love? That librarian chick from the last season? Were they all unworthy, ugly, TRAMPS who just don’t understand a real man when they see it? 

Fighting for the creep means fighting against other women, tearing them down. I know a lot of girls fantasize about killing other girls who their boyfriend looks at, or girls that look at their boyfriend. If the only way to trust your partner isn’t going to cheat is by eliminating the competition… Run??? Lmao???

But these girls still mock incels. They see that boy in class and run, they see him disgusting and uncomfortable to be around. But if he weren’t so repulsive… Maybe if you gave him a shot, he would be eternally indebted to you for saving him from his virginity! And he would never cheat, never care about other women, because he has you! A real life woman! Or rather, real life tits and poon. No matter how much you try to tame and domesticate the incel, he will never see you as a person. You can take the porn addict away from his laptop and into your lap, but all he’s thinking is “Booba!” And because of his addiction, he will still seek porn and other girls. BECAUSE IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU. It isn’t about how witty and cool and hot you are, it’s about how many times he can get laid, and how quickly. 

If you have fallen victim to Kevin’s seducing “female gaze” (not at all what that term even means lmao) then I highly recommend you spend a day browsing /tv/ on 4chan and see how they talk about female celebrities. Did you know that some perverts will walk around with a dog so women will approach them? My girlfriend told me that one recently, it blew my mind. 

So again I raise the question, why are women finding Kevin attractive? Why are they drawn to the act? They don’t. They are literally pretending they do to cope with rejection and trauma with men. No man is “safe,” the McElroy brothers are still the same men as that guy you liked for years who dated your best friend. 

Also Kevin was outed for homophobic jokes, heavily insulting black women’s features, and being exactly the opposite of “safe.” So yeah, stop doing this shit women. Accept the nature of men or become a dyke idrfc.

[athenathegrace]

Madrigal Guardians - My Journey of Game Development

Video games are the amalgamation of innovation, exploration, and the like. In video games, the reality machine strives to build a unified and engaging story that mainly captivates players and encourages active participation in the virtual environment.

In the previous lecture, transmedia narratology also includes video games, where media content and media form are heavily utilized to capture storytelling in the best way possible. As a gamer myself, it is also a feast to understand the storyline properly through the usage of various visual tools and captures that will ultimately decide the player's fate - mainly for the sake of engaging them like hunters looking for prized possessions.

Storytime!

Back in high school, we were tasked to make a simple playable game using Scratch software (a free-to-use game-making and animation software) as a requirement for our Computer subject almost five years ago. As a person who fantasized and daydreamed almost every day at that time, thinking about what could happen if we were to make a Mario-esque game about a group of heroic teenagers ready to save the day? Hence the creation of Madrigal Guardians (FOR REAL!).

The storyboard of Madrigal Guardians

Unfortunately, I haven't had the chance to recover the official game, but this already checked my bucket list because truth be told -- creating a game is hard. My group, composed of a lead designer, a game developer, and a documentation specialist, were all tethered to create such a single game inspired by our Role-playing shenanigans back in first year (high school). We were clung to follow a linear approach in storytelling, specifically about a group of young teenagers (Assumed that all of them are STILL in HIGHSCHOOL), who were tasked and given duties to become the protectors of the land of Roika (The whole world basically), and defeat monsters that would potentially exterminate the humans in the long term. Instead, as I can remember, the main character is immediately greeted with the responsibility of protecting the people and having mini-missions as we continued, using the In Media Res approach in storytelling and narrative meaning-making.

The development of the plot made it essential for the game to move on. My understanding of video game and development were as shallow as a pond, hence it wasn't really that deep and just followed generic story tropes (The hero defeats the villain, saves the day, and finish the game). The complexities of the video game's visuals and game mechanics made it work, and developing a narrative-driven game needs two things: Storyline cohesion and simple and understandable game mechanics.

Understanding the hardships with game development made it really intrinsic to how I now understand media content such as video games. This gave me an emphasis that people have unique ideas to make stories possible, may it be narrative-driven or gameplay-driven. I wasn't treating this requirement as is, but instead, it just gave me the platform to experiment with a narrative-driven game that is only been made from simple software, journeying a world that we once talked about and daydreamed with my friends, making it tangible in the sense that we unknowingly made a world of Roika - a world of our story and make it interactive - a video game.

This fundamentally contributes to my interest in exploring more game mechanics and even creating story ideas for local game developers to pitch and create passion projects. Creativity was the main drive for this project and I hope I get to recreate this again.

Imagine a Dungeon and Dragons roleplaying game where we get to create our own characters and create diverse worlds of storytelling and adventure, implement gameplay mechanics, and establish visuals - That's what I-we, did.

[quixotic-writer]

Truth or Truth?

Request: Anon

Summary: Q and Sal are in a double punishment. Q is hooked up to a lie detector and is forced to answer questions about his relationship with his girlfriend who just so happens to be Sal’s sister. Whether he likes it or not, the truth will be revealed.

Warning: Smut ahead!

–––––––––––––––––––––––––

“Well, seems both Sal and Q have lost the episode.” Murr announces to the cameras with absolute joy that for once he wasn’t the one being miserably punished. Sal and Q nod their heads in defeat and chuckle out of fear of what awaits them on the stage beyond the curtain of the theatre they were stationed at for the day.

“Which means a double punishment is out there waiting for you guys.” Joe says with an equal level of glee as Murr.

“Can we just get to it now, I'm sweating buckets and I just wanna get this over with.” Sal says as he wipes his hands on the sides of his pants to rid his palms of the sweat that was building up.

“Okay, okay. Let’s get you guys out on that stage!” The two men are laughing as the other two did as they were instructed. There on the stage were two chairs. One of those chairs was next to a table filled with wires and equipment, the other had rope surrounding it. Sal and Q both look at each other with eyebrows raised in question of the curious set up. “Sal you will be taking the chair on the left, Q you get the chair on the right next to that machine we’ll get you hooked up to.” The minute he heard the phrase ‘get you hooked up,’ Q knew exactly what the boys had in store.

He complied without saying anything, it was a punishment after all and it’s not like he could evacuate or run away anywhere. He watched as Sal was sat in his chair and tied up good and well to it.

“Guys I thought this was a double punishment. Why am I just being tied to a chair and Q getting hooked up to a lie detector test? What are you gonna do? Ask him how many times he’s fantasized about fictional women while jacking off?” Sal laughs. Little did he know what the guys had in store for this special use of the lie detector test.

“So our buddy Q here has been dating Sal’s sister – (Y/N) – for quite a while now.” Joe said with a toothy grin on his face. They watched as Sal’s face dropped immediately to shock and disgust.

“So we’ve hooked Q up to a lie detector test and we’ll be asking him a few questions about their relationship.” Both Murr and Joe were laughing. “But wait! It gets better!”

“There’s only one audience member besides us here.” When the lights brightened slightly, rows of chairs could be made out now in their line of vision, and so could the one solitary audience member sitting front and center: (Y/N).

“That’s Sal’s sister!” Murr says with jubilation. You could watch the color completely drain from Sal and Q’s face.

“That’s right Sal, you have to look at your sister and your best friend as we ask all these questions and you have to hear the honest truth about it all no matter how dirty.” Sal was freaking out wanting to break free of the constraints that bound him to the chair. He was begging and pleading for anything else as the two winners of the episode were laughing at his fruitless pleas. Q had his face in his hands and his face was regaining its color in only a single shade. He was red as a fire engine knowing exactly where this was about to go. He lifted his head slightly to be met with the eyes of his lover. She sheepishly waved with a smile and he did the same.

“There’s no escaping or compromising a punishment Sal, you lost and this is what you get!” Sal had stopped thrashing and now had his eyes set on the ceiling staring off into nothing. “Let’s start with the first question!”

“Let’s start easy: Have you ever kissed her,” Q huffed as his eyebrows furrowed together. What a silly question, “With tongue?” And there was the searing bit and his expression was wiped clean off of his face.

~

It was early on in their dating days, they decided on a movie night at Q’s place. It was warm and cozy, intimate and serene. She had her head resting on his shoulder and his arm was wrapped around her, holding her in close so that he could be closer to each and every piece of her. Because they were together for only a short time at that moment, Q feared making moves as to not upset her and cause a rift between him and Sal. It was already hard enough getting Sal warmed up to them, it would make things worse if he accidentally made a move she wasn’t comfortable with and Sal would have even more reason to disapprove of what they had going on. So while he seemed relaxed, he was actually freaking out on the inside.

That’s when their eyes locked on each other, her hand was placed gently on his cheek as she smiled and started inching in closer. Her hand was moving in closer and he went with it, seeing as all the signals were there and he was given the green light. Their lips met and he could taste the popcorn on her lips, he went in for another, and another. She felt addicting, he loved it and wanted more. That’s when her tongue traced along his lips, he hesitated.

“Don’t be so stiff B. I know you want more.” She whispered against his lips. She was right, that’s when things started getting heated. He brought her onto his lap, she was then straddling him and their lips met with each other once again, parted and allowed their tongues to intertwine. He could taste her so much better and he knew he was in deep.

The rest of that evening was truly memorable.

~

“Y-yes.” He answered honestly.

“He’s telling the truth.” The polygraph reader spoke as he watched the readings carefully. Sal’s face contorted in disgust as laughter echoed through the theatre.

“Next question: Have you done it on Sal’s bed or in his house?” Q squeezes his eyes shut.

“Brian I swear, you better think long and hard about how you answer this. You have house sat for me many times. If you say yes.”

~

Sal was away on a comedy tour and to go visit his mom. Q was handed the responsibility to watch over his house and make sure that everything was kept clean. Sal stated that he didn’t mind if he stayed the night at his place if he ever drank or if he just felt like it, so long as everything was kept in proper order when he came back. That much Q could do. He never said anything about his girlfriend being over as well.

It started as it always did: chilling out in the living room. They were playing Mario Kart together and the competition was getting heated. Nothing made Q happier than having a girlfriend he could play video games with, especially competitively. Both of them already started playing a little dirty, bumping each other playfully, blocking their view of the screen during important jumps, and so on. They were having the time of their life until she took things a step further.

As they were on their second lap, she sat on Q’s lap and started circling her hips. Q had a hard time focusing on the screen now that something else began to catch his interest. She kept going and she could feel him starting to grow hard under her. He bit his lip to not moan and show weakness and focused as much of his attention on the screen as best as he could.

“(Y/N). T-that’s cheating. You play… Dirty.” She had her eyes on the screen and now added noises as she gyrated her hips.

In the end, Q crossed the finish line first and ended up winning.

“Well, B. Looks like you won.” She said with a devilish smirk on her face, “I guess you’ve earned yourself a prize.” She slithers down to her knees and settles between Q’s legs as he sits on the couch. She pulls down his pants along with his boxers as his member throbs in front of her eyes. Q’s lips are already parted as his breath hitches at the sight before him. She licks her lips and immediately takes him as far into her mouth as she could. He lets out a low groan as his eyes close to take in the sensation.

“Fucking hell baby.” He says as his hand goes to the back of her head as his hips start to work and fuck her mouth. He was already aching for release as she was grinding against him, so his inevitable end was already building up like a skyscraper. “(Y/N). Sweetheart. God. You’re gonna make me cum.” He was at the edge of absolute euphoria, he had control of her as he tangled his hand in her hair and guided her faster up and down his cock until he shoved her down and released in her mouth. “Swallow.” He commanded, and she did exactly that. All evidence of his climax gone. He pulls her up for a kiss before lifting her and allowing his feet to carry them to where he would now be staying for the night: Sal’s room.

~

“Do I really have to answer this one?” Q asked as he began sweating profusely as he remembered each sensation pertaining to his answer.

“Hurry up and answer! You’ve never had problems talking about your sex life before tough guy.” Joe criticizes.

“No.” A blatant lie and they all probably knew. This answer was proven false after the polygraph interpreter stated so. Sal was glaring at Q and Q dared not make eye contact at that moment.

“You guys have ravaged my house for a punishment before, but SEX in MY HOUSE?!?! Not only that but WITH MY SISTER?!” Q wanted nothing more than just to disappear.

“Next question. Oh this one's good!” Q closed his eyes again, bracing himself for the next question, “Had she ever called you daddy?” His cheeks felt like they were on fire now. “Not like how you refer to yourself when talking about your cats either. You know exactly how we mean it.”

~

The room was filled with the sounds of the bed frame squeaking and moans eliciting from open mouths along with steamy breath that stuck to their skin. Q was thrusting his hips roughly into her as she raked her nails down his back, leaving her own mark on him.

“You like that baby? Like when I fuck you hard?”

“Yes! Yes!” Her words felt like they were being forced out of her with each snap of his hips as he hit just the right spots to drive her crazy.

“Yes, what?” He asked her as he slowed to an agonizing pace. She wrapped her legs around him to try and speed things up, bringing him in closer despite knowing it wouldn’t do anything until that one word was uttered. “C’mon (Y/N). Let me hear it. Yes, what?” His hot breath fell in her ear and sent chills through her and she could feel her clit throb as she bit her lip and moaned at the authoritative tone.

“Yes daddy.” His hips picked right back up as the familiar sound of skin on skin began to echo once again in the room. “Fuck I love it when you fuck me like this. Harder. Please, daddy.” Each time she said it, it brought him closer and closer to climax.

“God I love when you call me that sweetheart.” He licked his thumb and began rubbing circles around her clit as he continued working his hips against hers. Whining as she felt her climax begin to wash over her, Q wasn’t that far behind as he began to grunt and moan with each thrust as he felt her tremble beneath him. “Gonna cum baby, you’re so perfect.”

~

Q wondered if the air conditioning in the place was even on. If it was, they needed to crank it if not his shirt was sure to be drenched in sweat by the time this punishment was over.

“Uuuh.”

“Not an answer buddy.” Q really didn’t want to answer this. He could feel Sal’s gaze boring holes into him. He knew how his best friend felt about his relationship which is why he never said a thing about their sex life like he had with previous relationships. He respected Sal that way and always made sure to treat his sister well. But the pickle he was in now was making this dynamic extremely difficult.

“I uuh.” He was choking on words. There was no sense in lying, but maybe, just maybe if he believed hard enough he could trick the lie detector into believing he was telling the truth. He took a breath, said over and over in his head that he was telling the truth, steadied himself, and “no.” He tried saying it with honest conviction.

“A lie.” Yup. He definitely wanted to crawl in a hole now. All three of the other men were hollering at the answer. Q looked at (Y/N) and she was just as red as he was but she was laughing. He wasn’t sure how she could be laughing at this moment, but for some reason it put him slightly at ease knowing that this wasn’t torture for her like it was for him.

“Okay last question Q.” Sal had been mostly silent for the last few minutes and Q just knew that Sal wanted him dead or something else. He was lucky there were restraints holding him back because god knows what would have happened if he wasn’t. Q was mentally bracing himself for something absolutely revolting that he would have to answer for, something that would really make Sal lose his mind. Dildos, sneaking off on tour together to have sex, road head, he was ready to answer for it and face the consequences. “Do you love her?”

~

It was early in the morning and sun peered through the windows of his house. As he opened his eyes, there she was. Her eyes closed and her breathing steady, all the cats were curled up around her and all were surprisingly still asleep as well. She was dreaming and he knew it. Seeing her so peacefully asleep made him happy. It wasn’t only that. It was knowing she was happily asleep in his bed, next to him that made his heart flutter and burst with joy. Waking up and seeing her was unlike anything he’s ever felt.

He crawled out of bed carefully. In the kitchen he began to cook up some breakfast for them and also to feed the needy little kittens. As he was at the stove, he heard her shuffle in. He looked over his shoulder and saw her, eyes hooded and still half asleep, a little smile tugging at her lips, hair covering most of her face. She was just the most beautiful person ever and he couldn’t think otherwise.

“Morning sunshine.” He says with a smile on his face, voice still groggy from waking up.

“Mornin’ B.” She made her way over and hugged him from behind, leaning on him as she closed her eyes, inhaling deeply smelling his morning musk and the food that was cooking. “Smells so good.” She mumbled. His heart was just exploding and he couldn’t stop smiling.

As they ate breakfast, she spoke most of the time and that was just how he liked it. He never tired of her voice, never tired of hearing her talk, never tired of being around her. She noticed the dopey look on his face as she spoke and she stopped and gave him a bit of a side glance and a smile.

“What’s with you this morning Bri? You’ve been acting all mushy. Not that I'm complaining or this is out of the ordinary.”

“I just like hearing you talk.” He said truthfully. “And it’s just–”

~

“–I love her.” He spoke with a smile on his face. “I really do. No doubt about that. There’s no one else I've been more in love with than her. Every part of her. Good and bad. I love her.” He looked her in her eyes, recalling each countless moment they’ve had with each other. Every time he was around her, he felt like a high schooler again. So bashful, so in love, hopelessly so. There was no one else for him.

“It’s all true.” The polygraph reader spoke with a smile. Sal looked at Q, then looked at his sister and saw them just entranced with each other. Hearing everything Q had to say was true made his anger quickly slide away. He wanted his friend to be happy, he couldn’t keep them apart. Despite thinking this was an absolutely terrible idea at the start, perhaps this changed things.

“That’s it Q. Interrogations over.” Both men were released from their punishment prisons and were left to face each other.

“So. You really love her, huh?” Q smirked as he felt the butterflies thinking about her again.

“More than you could imagine.” He said with confidence. He felt her arms wrap around him and he turned around to see her eyes sparkling like constellations at midnight. He wrapped his arms around her tight and gave her a kiss.

“Listen, I know i’ve been hard on you Q. Just protective of my sister y’know?”

“I get it, Sal. But I can promise you wholeheartedly that I’d never do anything to hurt her ever.”

“Might wanna hook him up to the lie detector again.” Joe said as he walked by. Q rolled his eyes.

“I know. I just want you to promise one other thing.”

“Anything.” Q leaned in attentively.

“I never wanna hear anything about your sex life ever again.” (Y/N) snickered as Q felt his face heating up in shame again.

“Deal.”

[corvus--rex]

Another one that's been put down for a nap. I actually have the four planned chapters outlined, it just takes a particular head space to write. It's a 90's au, which means that there is period-typical homophobia involved. Our boys are musicians still in the town they grew up in. Note: they both smoke (I'm sorry), and there's a brief mention of underage sex (both are high school seniors).

@jilli-bean, this is more of the au my paragraph came from. I remembered you asked if I would tag you when I wrote more of it. Here it is so far!

~*~*~*~

~~*~~ present day – June, 1997 ~~*~~

“So, like, I guess he’s gay or whatever. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just, like, y’know?”

The voice belonged to a girl in a sundress talking to her two friends while walking by. Keith stayed where he was leaning against the side of the building and flicked the ash off the end of his cigarette, exhaling a cloud of smoke in a sigh. Saying “there’s nothing wrong with that” was just the same as saying “no offense” and then being offensive. He’d lost patience for that phrase a long time ago. But even as done with it as he was, it was still better than getting kicked out of his last foster home three weeks before his eighteenth birthday after being outed by the family’s biological son.

The boys were the same age, and Keith’s foster brother Wyatt was upset at the time for Keith having better grades and, more importantly, attracting the attention of the girl Wyatt had a crush on. The ensuing fight over the girl led to Keith confessing his sexuality, and petty jealousy led to Wyatt telling his parents. His social worker was a godsend, and after a conversation with his best friend’s parents, Keith found himself moving in with them that night. The guest room became his permanently after that. He’d moved out into his own apartment with his best friend Lance McClain-Sandoval when he started college, but the McClain-Sandovals were one of the closest things to a real family he’d ever known. That first night felt like coming home for a second time, and the midnight conversation they had while lying on Lance’s bedroom floor would be forever burned into memory.

~~*~~ October, 1991 ~~*~~

They were supposed to be in bed already. The next day was a school day and both boys knew that Mariana would have their asses if she knew they were still up, but they didn’t care. Lance knew how bad Keith’s foster family was and had nearly crushed his mother in a hug when she got off the phone with Keith’s social worker. He had been the one to pick Keith up from his social worker’s office. And he’d been the one to drive to the Jacksons’ house with him to retrieve everything Keith had left behind. They found it all boxed up on the front step with a note reminding him that they just couldn’t have “someone like him” in their home and around their children. Keith, and Lance, took great pleasure in watching that note go up in flames in the fire pit in Lance’s backyard.

Keith had been fostered in the same large town of Arus for the last three years, and he and Lance had been friends since the first day Keith transferred to Arus High School only two months after the beginning of their freshman year. They had come out to each other in the summer after sophomore year, both relieved that they wouldn’t lose their best friend. They were even more relieved when Lance’s parents Mariana and Diego told the boys that they would love them both no matter what, and that it was no one’s business who they loved. Now it was only one month into their senior year and life was changing again.

“Tomorrow’s gonna suck,” Keith sighed.

“Yeah, it probably will. Wyatt’s an asshole and he’ll tell everyone. Probably starting with what’s-her-tits and blowing any chance he has with her,” Lance agreed.

Keith couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up. “Michelle? Yeah, little fucker never had a chance with her to begin with. She’s been banging Chris Proctor all summer. Won’t shut the fuck up about it, even when she’s hitting on me.”

That made Lance roll to face his best friend. “Wait, seriously? I thought she hated him. Something about basketball players not being as good as football players.”

Keith rolled onto his side. “Yeah, that’s what I’d heard, but I guess she doesn’t hate his dick.”

Lance snorted, but when he saw how the strings of fairy lights lit Keith’s face and the sparkle of laughter in his deep violet eyes, his breath caught. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew it was a bad idea. It had been only hours since Keith was kicked out of the Jackson house, and this wasn’t some summer sleepover spent fantasizing about the future. The crush he’d been nursing for his best friend burst into full bloom, and he couldn’t stop himself.

Noticing the change, Keith’s brows furrowed. “Lance? What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said, shaking his head, “You’re beautiful, y’know that? I’ve been wanting to tell you that for so long.”

Keith’s expression softened. Lance confessing to feeling something more than just being best friends made a warmth settle into his bones. He’d thought his own crush would go unrequited forever and had begun to adjust into the idea that they would remain best friends and nothing more. Lance had just given him hope, and he wasn’t going to let the moment pass.

“Yeah? So are you. I thought I wouldn’t ever get to say it. But if we’re confessing…”

Impulse overrode higher thought, and Lance found himself inches away Keith’s face before he realized what happened. “Can I?” he asked in a soft whisper.

“Whenever you want,” Keith answered just as quietly.

Their first kiss was soft, gentle. It carried the relief of finally knowing how the other felt, and the promise of exploring those feelings. It was hesitant, nervous. It felt as though they were both worried that it was nothing more than a dream and that they’d wake up sore from falling asleep on Lance’s bedroom floor. But the very physical sensation of touch – Lance’s fingers threaded through soft black hair, the light touch of his thumb across high cheekbones, Keith’s hand sliding up soft t-shirt fabric, gripping the lean, compact muscle – it reminded them that they were very much awake, and that their kiss was very much real. When they separated, Lance pulled them back down, Keith nuzzling into his neck.

“I never thought kissing my best friend was something I’d ever do,” Lance said, basking in the afterglow of their kiss and the feeling of Keith in his arms.

“Mm, maybe not, but what about a boyfriend?” Keith asked, delicate fingertips tracing patterns into the t-shirt he had been holding so desperately only moments before.

“Yeah, I could get used to that.”

~~*~~ present day – June, 1997 ~~*~~

Keith was so lost in the memory of his first kiss with Lance he didn’t notice he was no longer alone until there was an arm on his shoulder and the cigarette was gone from his hand. He startled, then realized it was Lance. Keith was well aware how much Lance loved his leather jacket rocker look. It went well with the core of his music taste – a little punk, a little grunge, a splash of metal, a healthy dose of rock. He didn’t look it, but Lance’s tastes ran pretty much the same; it was one of the things they became friends over. But as much as Lance loved Keith’s daily wardrobe, Keith loved Lance’s more casual outfits, almost always topped off with the denim jacket whose back panel he had painted with a dragon and phoenix before gifting it to his boyfriend for his 18th birthday.

“Fucking hell, don’t do that!” he hissed. “Also, excuse you, that was mine.”

Lance just laughed through the smoke. “What, you worried about germs? We do a lot more than just swap spit, babe.”

Keith heaved a sigh, shaking his head at his boyfriend. “Yeah. I know that, and you know that, but I don’t think all of Arus needs to know that.”

“I’m pretty sure they’ve figured it out by now. I’m not exactly subtle, and almost the whole town knows about you after senior year of high school.”

“Fuck I still hate that asswipe. Ok, I’m done talking about him. You, me, Mario Kart, and the six-pack in the fridge.”

Lance crushed the cigarette butt under his sneaker. “Ooh, Mario Kart and pizza night. I still need to beat your ass at Rainbow Road.”

“Not gonna happen,” Keith threw over his shoulder as he walked away. He took off running when Lance gave chase, barely beating him to the truck.

As much as Keith’s true passions lay in art and music, he was also a skilled mechanic thanks to his foster father Carlos. He’d been with the Villalobos family for two years before a family emergency meant that they had to leave California for their parents’ native Mexico. If there was any other family that had felt like home, it was theirs. Carlos and Pilar treated him like one of their own children, and Keith got along with Daniela and Alejandro (Alex to his friends) like real siblings. They were back in California now, and he’d been able to reconnect with them and fill them in on what had happened with the Jacksons and how it had ended well despite them. After hearing about what had happened after they left, Carlos and Pilar had immediately called Lance’s parents, and now the two couples were good friends, the Villalobos slipping seamlessly back into Keith's life.

Keith had worked his way through college, and kept him working currently, thanks to the skills Carlos taught him. It was also those skills that got him his second most prized possession, the first being his his guitars. Keith had been working when the truck’s first and only owner brought it in on the back of a tow truck. He had bought it new, but the transmission on the ’94 Toyota Pickup blew out, and it wasn’t worth fixing. Keith said that it was a total waste of an otherwise solid pickup, and the owner told him that he could keep it if he promised to fully repair it. Six months of working on it in his spare time, and Keith had a rebuilt transmission and a fully working Garnet Red Pearl, extended cab Toyota Pickup.

~*~*~*~

Links to the rest of the series:

1 | 2 | 3* | 4 | 5* | 6* | 7 | 8 | 9* | 10 | 11 | 12* | 13 | 14 | 15* | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19*

[micha-writes]

I never posted this ficlet on here, so ... a little teen!au destiel ficlet that I wrote :) (ao3 link)

That Thing About Best Friends

The thing about best friends is, you can tell them anything. Your best friend, that’s someone who understands you – sometimes even better than you understand yourself. It’s someone who cares about you, someone you can trust, even with your darkest secret. No matter what’s on your mind, no matter what keeps you awake at night, you can tell your best friend, and they’ll be there for you. Maybe they’ll just listen, because sometimes that’s what you need. Maybe you’ll talk about the problem and try to think of a solution together, or maybe they’ll make you change your mind and see things differently. That’s things best friends do.

Most of the time best friends just have fun together, of course. They maybe play a video game together and insult each other over Mario Kart, or they do silly little things like making up funny dances to their favourite music or falling off the couch laughing about inside jokes they come up with while watching a bad movie. Best friends are, first and foremost, friends, of course. Friends who spend time together, have fun and laugh together.

But life’s not always just fun and games, Dean has learned that the hard way. No, life’s not always easy. Life has rough parts, it can be hard sometimes; and because life isn’t all fun and games, the thing about best friends isn’t either.

And in those times, when life isn’t fun at all, your best friend is still there. Sometimes you just need a hug, a supportive smile, a shoulder to cry on or an open ear to listen to your rant. That’s things best friends do: They’re there even when the road gets bumpy.

That’s another thing Dean has learned: That your best friend is there even when you expect them not to be. Even when you think you’ve scared them away with all your complaints about life or your constant anger, even when you think this time you’ve gone too far and ruined your relationship, they’re still there.

Yes, Dean has been there. Dean has yelled at his best friend for no reason, Dean has blamed his best friend for various bad things happening in his life, and still, his best friend is always there.

Cas is always there for Dean. He has always been, for as long as Dean can remember, all his life. In fact, Cas is a part of most of Dean’s earliest memories. He remembers that Cas was there back in the day when it all still was nothing but fun and games, when they were just little kids running around the park or building little castles in the sandbox.

Dean didn’t think of Cas as his best friend back then, he probably didn’t even know the concept yet. He didn’t call him that, but looking back, Cas still was his best friend, even back then, even at only a few years old. One of the clearest and at the same time most important memories Dean has of Cas is of the day of his mother’s funeral. Dean was only 4 years old back then, and he doesn’t remember a lot from that day. But one of the things he remembers clearly is Cas being there next to him, and Cas, just a little kid himself, trying to comfort his friend as good as possible, Cas pulling his little arms around Dean and hugging him as he noticed his silent tears.

Cas has been a constant in Dean’s life ever since. And even though Dean is only 16 years old, his life has been a lot so far. But no matter what happened, no matter how much it was at certain points, Cas has always been there. Ever since that day back then when Dean lost his mother and his home the same night, Cas hasn’t let him down a single time.

Dean trusts Cas, he trusts him more than he trusts any other person in the entire world. Cas has always been the person Dean went to with his deepest secrets, his most personal doubts and concerns, and all his worries.

Cas has always been the one person who knew that Dean’s broken arm wasn’t the result of falling out off a tree, and the black and blue marks all over his arms and upper body didn’t come from Dean fighting with his brother either. Dean and his brother Sam barely fight, and when they do, their weapons of choice are words.

Dean has never talked to anyone except Cas about his father. Not even to Sam, even though Sam of course knows where the marks on his brother’s body come from, he obviously knows where the broken bones that Dean has had multiple times come from, but he also knows that Dean doesn’t want to talk about it. That is, he doesn’t want to talk about it to anyone except Cas.

Dean likes to pretend he’s tough. He likes to pretend he’s strong and manly and hasn’t cried a single time in his entire life, but he doesn’t do it with Cas. Not all the time, at least. Because no matter how tough Dean pretends to be every single day in the school corridors, Cas has seen him cry a lot when they’re hanging out after school, just lying together on their backs in the grass on the field behind their school, just talking. That’s the times Dean talks about his father, and his broken bones, and the marks all over his body.

Dean has told Cas about pretty much every secret he’s ever had in his entire life, and he’s rather sure that Cas has done the same thing. Dean knows a lot of things about Cas, and many of those are things about which Cas has made him swear he’d never tell anyone about it.

The biggest secret Dean is keeping for Cas probably is the one he told him just a few months ago. Dean still remembers that day very well, maybe because it happened not that long ago, but probably rather because hearing Cas say what he said did cause him an undefinable chaos of emotions that he still doesn’t really know how to handle.

Dean still thinks about it now and then, sometimes when he’s alone and thinking, he leans back and remembers how Cas looked at him with that insecure look in his eyes and quietly said “I think I might be gay”, and then he thinks about the weird feeling that single phrase planted in his chest.

That feeling is the only thing Dean never told Cas about. It’s not that Dean has any kind of problem with his best friend’s sexuality, he absolutely doesn’t. He’s not his father, after all – even though he has taken on some of his bad traits, like the anger issue, but homophobia isn’t one of them.

No, Dean is fine with it, and he and Cas have talked about it, about Cas’s doubts concerning his sexuality and his realization that maybe he’s just not straight. They have talked about it, and Dean has really tried his best to be helpful, as good as that was possible with that insane and weird feeling sitting there in his chest, refusing to leave.

Dean didn’t know back then what the feeling was, but he knew that for some reason, he didn’t want Cas to know about it. Today, he’s still not entirely sure what the feeling is about, but by now he has figured out why he doesn’t want Cas to know.

Because today, Dean has understood that the feeling came not directly from Cas telling him he might be gay, no, it came from Dean taking that in and thinking a step (or two) further: Cas likes guys, was the initial thought of understanding, and then Dean thought … could he like me?

Now that, again, isn’t a question Dean asks himself because it would freak him out if it was true, no. Dean knows by now, after countless of sleepless nights spent thinking about it, that he asks himself that question because a part of him wants Cas to like him that way.

And now that is the point of confusing thoughts and doubts where Dean would normally go and talk to Cas about it. Because that’s the thing with best friends, you can tell them anything, they keep your secrets, and they help you figuring stuff like that out. Yes, Dean would love to talk to Cas about it, listen to Cas’s advice, because it’s always great, but the thing is, he can’t talk to Cas about it.

He can’t talk to Cas, because that would include having to tell Cas about those other thoughts Dean has had. Telling Cas would include telling him about those late nights Dean has been lying awake thinking about how it would feel to kiss Cas, thinking about how they could just walk down the street holding hands or about how they could cuddle up when watching a movie together. If he would tell Cas about his doubts regarding his own sexuality, it would sooner or later lead to that conversation, Dean is sure about that, and it scares him.

Dean doesn’t want Cas to know because he doesn’t want to ruin what they have right now. Cas is his best and oldest friend, and as much as he lies awake sometimes, fantasizing about a different kind of relationship with him, he doesn’t want to lose the friend he has right now. Dean is scared of a number of possible outcomes of this situation.

He’s aware of course that just because Cas is probably gay, that doesn’t mean he has to be into Dean. Cas could just as well be gay and not be interested in him at all, Dean knows that, and it’s one of his fears: Telling Cas about all his thoughts, telling him about his sexuality and his confusing feelings, just to have Cas tell him he doesn’t like him that way. That would hurt. It would hurt a lot.

What Dean is also scared about is disappointing Cas. Unknowingly leading him on, playing with his friend’s feelings. Because just hypothetically, if Dean tells him he likes him, and Cas happens to feel the same way, and they give it a try but Dean realizes he doesn’t actually like Cas … Dean is scared of unknowingly “faking it”, he’s scared of misinterpreting his own thoughts and feelings, and he’s so so scared of hurting Cas, breaking his heart and losing him as his friend.

And that’s what it all comes down to: Cas being his friend. His oldest friend, his best friend. The one person he trusts unconditionally, the one who’s always there for him, the one who always listens and gives the best advice, the one he shares all his insecurities and secrets with.

And that, yes, that’s the point. Because Cas is, and always has been, the one person Dean could talk about everything with. No matter what it is, Cas always makes time and room for Dean, Cas is always there to listen.

And now that’s the other thing about best friends: If they’re the one and only person you talk about all your problems with, that’s all perfectly fine and works well, as long as your best friend isn’t the reason you need someone to talk. It’s all fine telling your best friend about your most personal thoughts and dreams, it’s all fine telling them about that person you’re falling for, spending hours trying to convince them your crush really is as amazing as you believe them to be and being made fun of for your blush whenever you’re talking about them, that’s all good fun, until you look at your best friend and realize they’re the one you’re falling for.

Because what do you do if you have that one person you tell everything, but the one thing that’s on your mind the most is also the one thing you can’t discuss with them, because it’s about them? Yes, what do you do when you need to talk about your need-to-talk person? What do you do when you can’t really tell your tell-me-everything person everything?

What do you do when you fall in love with your best friend?

Dean is insecure, he’s scared and he’s incredibly anxious about what might happen, but finally, he decides to talk to Cas. Because it is Cas, after all.

It’s Cas, who has always listened and understood Dean, all his life. It’s Cas, who has always been calm and supportive, no matter what. It’s Cas, just Cas. It’s his best friend.

And that’s another thing about best friends.

They’re always there, and you can always talk about anything.

You might fall in love with your best friend, or you might not. But either way, you love them.

And they love you.

They want nothing but the best for you, just like you do for them. And you can talk to them, even when you’re insecure about their reaction to what you’ve got to say. You can talk to them, they won’t rip off your head.

Because they care about you, just like you care about them. And they’re probably about as scared of hurting you as you are of hurting them. They are, just like you, trying to protect the person they care about.

Because that’s what best friends do.

[crazy4dragons]

Braids

Astrid continues to spend time with Hiccup after his injury and he asks to braid her hair. Takes place sometime after Just Friends. Like Heaven AU. Rating: PG (lust mention, but mainly fluff).

“Why don’t we go in the hot tub?” Astrid suggested as she watched the movie credits roll down the screen. “Didn’t your doctor say water would be good for your leg?”

Hiccup sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Come on,” urged the blonde, tugging his hand. “You can’t just sit in bed and watch TV all day.”

“There’s not much else I can do,” he argued.

Astrid slid off the mattress and walked into Hiccup’s closet. Rummaging through his summer clothes, she found a pair of swimming trunks and tossed them into his lap. “Change,” she ordered.

“But —”

“Change,” Astrid repeated, pulling a modest swimsuit from her backpack and shutting herself in the bathroom. While she finally had a bikini, she wasn’t sure about parading around in it with Hiccup’s parents around. They already thought he was sleeping with her; wearing cheeky bottoms and a top that showed cleavage wouldn’t help the situation. So instead, she’d brought over a pale pink longline top and matching high-waisted bottoms that collectively left only a sliver of tummy showing.

Clad in the swimsuit, she searched for sunscreen and two beach towels before opening the door to see that Hiccup had put on his swimming trunks and a t-shirt. “Good. You’re ready,” she smiled, grabbing a pair of workout shorts from his dresser. With his injury, Astrid had been staying over so often that one of Hiccup’s drawers was now stuffed with her clothes.

“I’m telling you now, Astrid, I’m going out for half an hour. That’s all.”

“Mmm-hmm.” She pulled on the shorts, then handed Hiccup his crutches. “Let’s go.”

As the two friends descended the stairs, Astrid helping Hiccup to ensure he didn’t fall, they were greeted by Stoick. “Well, look who finally came out of his room.”

“Not cool, Dad.” Hiccup rolled his eyes.

“I’m just glad to see yer up and about,” Stoick defended. “Where are yer two headed, the pool?”

“Hot tub. Astrid’s making me.”

“You have to get out of bed once in a while,” insisted the blonde.

“Astrid’s right,” agreed Stoick. “Yer leg will only get worse if ye never move it.”

Hiccup sighed. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. Well, let’s go outside and get this over with.”

“It’ll be fun,” assured Astrid, stepping in front of him and opening the back door. Once he hobbled out, she closed it behind them and set the towels on a chair before opening the sunscreen and rubbing it onto her nose. She then pulled off her shorts, slathered the rest of her skin, then passed the bottle to Hiccup, who’d taken a seat beside the towels. “Here. Let me know if you need help getting your back.”

Discarding his t-shirt, Hiccup took the sunscreen. “Yeah,” he decided, smearing it onto his freckled cheeks. “Some help would be great.”

“On it.” Astrid knelt behind him and worked the lotion into his skin while subconsciously taking note of all his freckles. He had at least a hundred on his shoulders alone, and even more were sprinkled across his back. He didn’t like them, but she thought they were sort of cute.

“You done?” Hiccup asked as she backed away.

Nodding, Astrid climbed into the hot tub, letting out a contented sigh as the warm, frothy water lapped at her neck. When Hiccup joined, she slid over to sit beside him, her fingers curling around his hand in a comforting squeeze. “You will get better,” she assured. “I know it.”

“I wish I could be as sure as you are,” he mumbled.

Silence fell between them and for a while, they soaked together without saying a word.

“Hey, could I braid your hair?” Hiccup asked eventually, nodding towards Astrid’s messy bun. When she hesitated, he added, “I won’t if it’s not okay with you. It’s just…it’ll give me something to do.”

“Alright,” she shrugged, shifting in front of him. “I don’t see why not.”

“Thanks.” With a small smile, Hiccup carefully took down Astrid’s hair and ran his fingers through it, working out a few small knots. “Is a Dutch braid okay?”

“That’s fine,” she replied, relaxing at the feeling of his hands on her scalp.

“You have a date tonight, right?” Hiccup asked cautiously. Even though he knew Astrid had a boyfriend, and he knew he was just her friend, he always felt the need to check himself when mentioning her relationship to make sure he didn’t come across as jealous.

“Yeah, why?”

“I was going to ask if you wanted to stay for dinner, but if you already have plans, don’t worry about it.”

“Well, I have my date tonight and I’m going over to my dad’s tomorrow, but I could do dinner with you on Monday,” offered Astrid. She knew Hiccup didn’t expect her to spend every spare moment with him, but she couldn’t help feeling guilty that he was stuck at home awaiting a second surgery on his leg while she was going to a carnival with her new boyfriend, with whom she’d just become official. “And I promise I’ll spend the whole day with you on Wednesday before you go to the hospital.”

Hiccup paused in his braiding. “Astrid, you know you don’t have to do that.”

“But I want to.” She wouldn’t admit it out loud, but the thought of him going into surgery again terrified  her. When he’d first gotten into the car accident, she skipped school, instead spending the day crying in her room and waiting for Stoick or Valka to call saying the doctors would allow her to come see him. And now, knowing that he’d be in the hospital all over again, and that this next surgery would determine whether he’d ever be able to walk without his crutches or a wheelchair, she felt sick to her stomach.

“Then I’d like that.” Hiccup resumed his task. When he reached the end of the braid, he tied it off and draped it over her shoulder. “There. Take a look.”

Astrid grabbed her phone from the outside ledge of the hot tub and studied her reflection in the camera. “It looks great,” she smiled. “Mind if I keep it in for my date?”

“Do whatever you’d like,” he said with a shrug.

“I’m definitely keeping it,” she decided, snapping a selfie before putting her phone down and settling in beside him.

Hiccup cast her a lopsided grin.

After spending a bit more time soaking, the two friends decided to get out and head back inside. It was two o’ clock, neither of them had eaten lunch, and Astrid needed to be home for her date by four-thirty.

“Do you want to eat first or wash up first?” Hiccup asked.

“Eat,” Astrid replied quickly as she felt her stomach grumble. “What do you have?”

“We could do sandwiches and chips,” he shrugged.

“Sounds good to me.” She pulled two plates from a cabinet, holding a hand up as Hiccup tried to help her. “No, you sit down. I’ll get it ready.”

He reluctantly took a seat while Astrid quickly put together ham and cheese sandwiches. Grabbing a bag of chips, she carried the food over to the table before sitting across from her friend.

“These are good,” Hiccup remarked, taking a bite.

“Don’t look so surprised. I might not be able to cook, but I’m perfectly capable of putting together a sandwich.”

He laughed.

Once they finished eating, Astrid cleared away the dishes. The two then returned to Hiccup’s room, where they rinsed off — separately, of course — and changed into clean clothes.

“My braid is all messy now,” the blonde frowned, catching sight of herself in the mirror as she tugged a blue crop top over her white bralette. A pair of ripped, high-waited denim shorts completed her look. All she’d need was her white Converse and a bit of makeup and she’d be ready for her date that evening.

“I can redo it for you if you’d like,” Hiccup offered, quickly picking up his phone to disguise the fact that he’d been struggling not to stare at Astrid while she dressed. They weren’t shy about being in their underwear around each other. For Hiccup, it really wasn’t too much different than being in a swimsuit. And Astrid, being used to changing in the locker room before volleyball games, didn’t see why she should feel okay in just underclothes in front of her teammates but not her best friend — even if her best friend was a guy.

But although the situation was platonic, Hiccup had to admit to himself that she had a nice body, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t fantasize about what she looked like completely naked. Of course, she had a boyfriend, so he knew those privileges would be reserved for his eyes when Astrid felt ready to take things to the next step.

Lucky guy, he thought, shaking his head in attempt to ignore the lust burning in his brain. Being a teenager was the worst.

“Yes, please.” Grabbing her hairbrush, she sat down in front of Hiccup, allowing him to undo her disheveled braid and work the tangles from her locks.

Hiccup quickly wove a new braid, Astrid enjoying the feeling of his hands in her hair as he did so. When he was finished, she took her hairbrush and zipped it into her backpack.

“We have another hour,” she announced as she checked her phone. “What do you wanna do?”

“Nap,” chuckled Hiccup.

“Come on. I won’t see you again until Monday night and all you want to do is take a nap?”

“I guess we could play on the Wii,” he suggested.

“That’s better.”

The hour flew by as Hiccup and Astrid played games together, just like they’d done before the accident. After two rounds of Mario Kart and a session of Wii bowling, he was feeling almost normal.

Until it came time to say goodbye to Astrid.

“Alright,” he  began, suppressing a sigh. “Let me how your date goes. And have fun with your dad tomorrow.”

“I will.” The blonde stuffed a few things into her backpack and tucked her pillow under her arm.

“No hug?” frowned Hiccup.

Smiling, Astrid set down her belongings and enveloped her friend in a tight embrace, an inexplicable shiver running down her spine at the sensation of his arms brushing her bare midriff. She didn’t like him like that. And she certainly wasn’t lusting after him. No, she had a boyfriend. But the feeling of his hands on her skin, however innocent, was enough to excite her just a little bit.

“Bye, Astrid.” Hiccup’s voice broke into her thoughts.

“Oh, uh…bye, Hiccup,” Astrid replied, breaking the hug. “See you Monday.”

“Yeah. See you Monday.”

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

Dreams

Summary:

Another fic where you can’t sleep, and Jihoon is there to make your heart flutter

-

You can’t sleep.

God, how were you unable to sleep? How was it possible that you weren’t able to sleep after the intense day you had just had? Sure, you had known that going camping with Seungcheol and his friends would be intense. They were chaotic the little you heard of them at work and in the instances that you had them in small doses, so there was no way that they wouldn’t be intense on their own in the woods, with nothing but the thin walls of a cabin to give you guys any privacy.

You had literally spent the entire day doing activity after activity- you weren’t sure how some of the boys had this much energy. You played baseball with everyone, went out fishing with Jeonghan and Wonwoo, made lunch with Mingyu, started a water balloon fight with Seungkwan (big mistake), danced around a campfire with Chan and Soonyoung, and that only scrapped the surface of the multitude of the day's events- you felt like you should be in a coma right now.

And yet here you were, lying in bed staring up at the ceiling recalling the day's events instead of letting your mind be at peace and finally getting the rest that you so desperately needed.

You did feel overwhelmingly exhausted. You were completely drained of the urge to get up and do anything, to the point that even going down to see if Wonwoo was still awake reading wasn’t really an option for you.

You knew that in the end it was okay if you didn’t get much sleep. The boys would easily be able to reinvigorate you with their energetic personalities tomorrow, and you would probably be able to push through the day and then hopefully knock out by the time everyone was sleeping again tomorrow.

But it would be nice if you didn’t have to count on sleeping tomorrow. You wanted to get rest tonight too. It would just be a waste of time if you laid in bed all night tonight trying to sleep.

“I see you can’t sleep.”

You jolted upright in bed, coming face to face with a figure standing in the doorway. Your initial reaction was to bite a small smile at whoever it was, knowing it had to be one of the thirteen boys, it was just which one that you weren’t entirely sure of.

In the end, it came down to taking in his height in the door frame, and the way that his voice sounded as he spoke to you.

“Jihoon,” you greeted, your voice soft.

Your relationship with Jihoon was as good as it was with any of the boys. Honestly the only prblem that you could find between the two of you was that you two could be a little too competitive sometimes. When it came down to it, neither of you were afraid to participate every now and then in a somewhat overly cruel competition that could only end in one victor.

Of course, the next day, ask either of the two who had won or why you two had even competed in the first place and neither would know. It wasn’t about the results of the competition anyways. It was about the competition itself. Having a good time trying to completely and utterly obliterate the other opponents.

“I can’t sleep either,” Jihoon mumbled. He stepped further into your room so that the moonlight seeping in from your window illuminated him. He was wearing a large grey shirt and a pair of Mingyu’s sweatpants. It made you look away, but only to hide the faint blush that spreading over your cheeks at the sight.

One minor problem that you had with Jihoon- a problem that truly was just... So small was that from the very first moment that you had laid your eyes on the boy, you couldn’t help but deny that he was cute. Sure, everyone in Seungcheol’s friend group was really really cute. To the point that some days you wondered why they hung out with you when they were some of the most popular boys at school and you were merely notable by association.

But Jihoon had always been something different to you.

It was hard for you to ignore the racing of your heart when he leaned too close to you as you two raced in Mario Kart, or to keep your face from getting red when you two were about to commence in another impromptu foot race to see who was fastest.

Luckily for you, neither Jihoon, Seungcheol, or anybody else who happened to be around seemed to notice. Most people honestly believed you and Jihoon to hate each other- or at least be self- proclaimed rivals. But you and Jihoon knew you were friends and that was all that mattered to the two of you.

In fact, when the others weren't around Jihoon had even admitted to you that he was interested in music composition- even going as far as to show you some of the music he had written. Maybe that was when you started to let yourself far for him more then you really meant to.

Sure, he was really cute, but you had been hopeful that you would be able to overlook that, and eventually your growing feelings for him would die... But when he revealed to you something so personal and important to him...

It was no wonder you often found yourself fighting your own strong feelings for him.

Jihoon wandered into the room and sat down on your bed, not bothering to ask if it were okay.

Honestly, you didn’t mind.

As mentioned, before you two were close enough that there was no reason for him to think there should be any problem in him sitting near you. You guys had practically spooned once before when he had gotten a little bored and you had been playing video games.

You still remembered how he felt, curled inside your arms while Super Mario Odyssey music played softly. The way that his hair felt as it brushed your arm. It had been a pleasant day. He had napped in your arms for a good few hours that day until Mingyu had woken him up and teased him for being the little spoon.

“What are you watching?” Jihoon asked. The question caught you off guard. You had forgotten that you had your computer out playing a television show for you to sleep to and despite the fact that the earbud was still in your ear, you were basically numb to the sound of the show in the background. You glanced at the faint glow of your computer screen and then back at Jihoon.

“Oh, it’s uh, The Simpson’s...” You replied. He looked at the screen silently for a little while from where it was sitting in the corner of your bed.

“Can I listen too?”

You gave Jihoon a wary look at the question, wondering what motive he could possibly have for wanting to listen to it with you. Jihoon’s expression didn’t change, he just gazed at you with an even look, that seemed sincere enough to you. You shrugged and offered him your other earbud. He took it and you both laid down, once again, his body in front of yours.

“What’s been happening?” Jihoon asked softly.

“Oh, it’s the episode where Homer becomes that superhero. The more recent seasons are less... Serious than the earlier ones, so they’re easier to just listen to,” you explained. Jihoon nodded ad you two both listened in silence as Homer got chosen to play the role of Every Man in comic book guys movie. As the show rolled on, you closed your eyes, trying your best to let sleep lull you away.

But the combination of Homer’s voice in this episode and Jihoon’s near presence, prevented you from being able to sleep. You sighed and opened your eyes, surprised to see that Jihoon wasn’t trying to sleep at all. He had instead turned his body around and was staring at you with an earnest look in his eyes.

“Why do you watch this when you’re sleeping?” Jihoon asked you, you rolled your head slightly, so that you could meet his eyes better. You wondered if you should tell him the truth or maybe just lie to him about it like you would most people.

You weren’t sure why you lowered your eyes to the blankets, pursing your lips nervously.

“Because when I sleep without it, I dream,” you explained. His eyes pierced into yours, burning holes into yours even though you were suddenly terrified to look at him.

“What’s so bad about dreaming?”

You risked a look back up at him.

“It’s just... Risky, I guess,” you responded. “When I dream, I dream about things that could never happen.”

Dreams of having him, for instance, in your arms. Holding him tight against you being able to call him yours... You knew that the possibility of Jihoon liking you the way that you liked him... It was rare, to impossible.

You didn’t dare to hope that he might share the same feelings for you. That’s why you couldn’t dream. You didn’t need to fantasize about him possibly saying that he wanted to spend more time with you. That the love songs he texted you in the middle of the night were written about you.

You knew that you were just projecting your own feelings onto his actions towards him, and you didn’t want to do that, so you had to drown out the thoughts that you weren’t just making it all up. And those unfortunate thoughts were the most prominent in the middle of the night.

“Things that could never happen?” He questioned, clearly wanting you to elaborate. You hummed.

“Things I’d prefer to keep secret,” you asserted softly. “It’s just safer for me not to mess with those thoughts. They’re... Distracting. They keep me from thinking about what’s right in front of me and instead I think about what could be right in front of me.”

“Dreaming isn’t so bad,” Jihoon mumbled. “I get my best song ideas from my dreams.”

“You do?” You asked him. He nodded.

“My mind is more creative at night, and when it’s quiet and I’m alone, I can hear each separate thought more clearly,” he replied. “I was writing something not long ago. That’s why I was up so late.”

You laughed, a small smile crossing your lips.

“Interesting that you would still be working when you are supposed to be taking a break with all of your friends,” you teased lightly. Jihoon rolled his eyes but didn’t for a second look away from your eyes.

“Yeah, well, I couldn’t help it. I had a suddenly rush of inspiration.”

You felt your heart pick up its pace at the words and the possible meanings behind them. God, that was enough for you to dream for weeks and weeks all on its own and to think he was so close. This scenario almost felt like a dream in itself.

You swallowed hard and glanced down at your phone screen.

“It’s late. We should try to sleep,” you whispered back to him.

He nodded.

“Alright,” he agreed. “Do you mind if I stay here with you?”

You were glad that it was dark in the room, because if there was any light, then Jihoon would definitely be able to see the color in your cheeks at his words or at the very least hear the loud pounding of your heart in your chest.

“Of course not.”

You let your eyes drift closed and you tried to focus on Lisa as she spoke to her father. You knew that if you were careful enough, you would be able to forget where you were, who you were with, and what Jihoon had just said to you. If only you just listened a little harder to the show in front of you.

But just as you were losing yourself in the dialogue, feeling yourself finally drifting off Jihoon reached forward, pulling the earbud out of your ear. He closed your laptop and set it aside, so that all you could hear was the deafening silence surrounding you.

“Tonight, you should risk dreaming,” he murmured. “Who knows? Maybe your dreams will come true.”

You opened your mouth to protest but before you really could, Jihoon’s arms were wrapping themselves tentatively around you. He pulled you closer to him, and you felt yourself turn in his arms so that once he had you close enough- your back was against his chest.

You were suddenly nervous, wondering what sort of game he was trying to play with you but before you could question him, his thumb rested over your stomach, rubbing small circles into you.

“Can’t you hear how hard my heart is beating for you?” He asked you softly. “Why do you keep pretending like your feelings are completely one sided?”

You felt Jihoon bury his nose in your hair, and it made your breath catch in your throat.

“Jihoon-”

“Dream about me,” he interrupted you softly. “When you wake up, I’ll still be here, so there’s no reason to be afraid okay?”

This time you didn’t argue with him or ask him what he meant. His intentions were clear. You felt your body relax in his arms, and you nestled your head into the pillow beneath you.

“Good night Jihoon,” you whispered.

“Sweet dreams,” he whispered back.

This time, it didn’t take you nearly as long before you finally felt yourself falling asleep.

[chaos-monkeyy]

State of Chaos

Hi folks! Been awhile since I did this (and I meant to do it yesterday, whoops.. *pretends it’s still Wednesday* 😅). 

So as usual, I’ve wound up working on a lot of random stuff instead of getting all the languishing WIPs done 😂 But I have wrapped up a few things! Also, it’s almost November and I have something I’ve picked to try doing for NaNoWriMo… It’s already making me nervous because 1,667 words a day is rather a lot AND my idea has way more plot than I usually write (still porn too though, fear not). Anyway, I have no idea how well it’s gonna go but I can at least give it a shot! So if it actually goes well, I’m unlikely to be posting as much fic for the next little while. 

Oh! There are a couple new fandoms in the mix now too. Namely, the Thrawn Ascendancy novel as well as Stargate Atlantis, thanks to an exceptionally fun rewatch with Leif and DD 😁 I’m just horribly fixated lately on John Sheppard and his should-be-illegal pants… and now Ronon is there too, I may not survive 🤤 Backstory, I adore stargate SG1 and Atlantis, grew up watching it, but this is the first time I’m watching any of it since learning about fandom sooo… I’m having fun lol

(p.s. In case anyone was wondering, my little dumbass cat successfully learned how to use her fancy feeder. It’s adorable watching her nose it open, and Unauthorized Greedy Pet is extremely put out any time he tries to go steal her food now 😆)

Assassin’s Creed 

Diletto 

Shelved for now— not abandoned, just haven’t been feeling the het smut lately.

The skills of Assassins 

I’ve gotten a bit stuck on chapter 4 of the Ezio/Mario fic for some reason, but I did make some progress on it! So that fic update is still coming, just… slowly. 

Other 

I started some Shaun/Desmond AC3 cavern sex but got stuck and haven’t finished it 🙈 Also vague outlines written out for potential sequels to both Not Here (Desmond wetting himself in the Animus) and Demands and Desires (AC3 HaythCon filth). And I have been poking at the Witcher crossover fic too! 

Posted 

Demands and Desires - HaythCon smut; contains incest and ManipulativeAsshole!Haytham. Explicit.

Ache - Drabble smut about Ezio jerkin’ it; 100 words for my 100th fic 🎉. Explicit.

Midsomer Murders 

MM x Wallace and Gromit crossover

I’ve been thinking about this one recently, I’m gonna try and get access to s14 and 15 of Midsomer and maybe start working at it again! It’s the most long-running WIP I have… Actual Story is HARD 😭🥺

Star Wars

The self-indulgent Chiss-human orgy fic 

It’s very close to being done! I’m hoping to get it finished up with Jewell before too much longer 😊😏 

[Title redacted] 

Still working on this filth fest with Rev. It’ll be done some day, we just have too much we want to put into it where is the brain-to-fic machine already dammit 😭

Other

Someday I intend to get that part 3 of the Pinned (Thranto) and the Stripped (Thrawn/Thrass) series written. I also have a plan for another Thrakif fic, too damn many plans to continue the Inappropriate Places pissfic series, and a delicious kinky little Thranto prompt still in my askbox here that I am definitely going to fill sooner or later 😏

Posted 

A Moment in Private - Thrakif smut; Cadet Thrawn getting off while fantasizing about General Ba’kif. Explicit.

A rare thing - Thrawn/Ziara fluff and cuddles ficlet. Teen and up. 

Breathless - Thrakif breathplay; prompt fill with lots of desk sex and light Dom/sub. Explicit. 

(Come) Ride With Me - Thrawn/Eli/Thrass smut. I finally finished the chisscest-y Biker AU!! Explicit. 

Discoveries - Part 1 of Eli peeing in inappropriate places and Thrawn getting turned on by it (well, so does Eli). Explicit. 

Zombie / what’s in your head - A rare angst-tacular Thranto fic. MCD and heavy subject matter. Mature. 

Stargate Atlantis

Nothing specific in progress; it’ll be whatever I get inspired to write as I keep watching through the show! My personal rule for these is that I can write whatever grabs my interest so long as I don’t take too long working on it 🙈 

Posted 

Of rituals and birthday presents - Sheppard / Keras implied-smut. Light-hearted stuff featuring aural voyeurism and a very flustered Rodney McKay. Teen and up. 

The smart thing - dark!Sheppard / Kolya, includes fear-wetting and noncon facefucking. Mind the tags. Explicit. 

The Witcher 

I don’t have much Witcher fic on the burner at the moment. Kinda waiting for s2 at this point, really, and someday I’ll play TW3 and probably get some more inspiration from there! I have been picking at the Witcher x AC Gerezkier (Geralt/Ezio/Jaskier) crossover with Levs, though! I’m slowly getting more comfortable with the smut-to-story balance as we work out where it’s going 😁. Other than that, I have a few things still kicking around my ideas list that I might pick up at some point when brain decides it wants to randomly start something new instead of working on WIPs. 

Posted 

Flagrant Indecency - I did manage to get the final chapter of this finished and posted for the Finish Your Fic deadline! 🥳💦. Explicit. 

Don’t Stop - Geraskier somnomo prompt fill. Juiced-up Geralt, somnophilia, and watersports; some consent issues. Explicit. 

[saihahas]

The sheer brilliance of the Pikmin shorts

And how their success shows that a cartoon with no dialog can excel in quality.

This is going to be seperated into three portions, for each short! Short 1 will be titled in RED. Short 2 will be titled in BLUE. Short 3 will be titled in PURPLE.

SHORT 1

Short one, The Night Juicer, is my least favorite out of the three. Granted, I still really enjoy the short! But it's not memorable in comparison to the other two. It's the shortest, and plays off of what Pikmin are named after! For those not aware of Pikmin lore or the games, Pikmin were named based off of Pikpik Carrots, which are very popular on Capitan Olimar's home planet, Hocotate.

This short begins with a very cute title sequence, showing Pikmin just doing Pikmin things! Which the series is exceptional at.

The first short starts with a Red, Blue and Yellow Pikmin watching Olimar make himself an unassuming red smoothie.

A lil squeaky sound effect is made when Oli puts his hands on his hips, thats all.

ANYWAYS-

The Primary Pikmin trio all run up to Olimar as he finishes up his cup, but stop after glancing over to the side of the blender, seeing a cut up Pikpik carrot they mistake for a Red Pikmin.

This sends the trio into a frenzy, freaking out and running away from Olimar.

Oh and this

Consider my timbers, shivered. Olimar creepily walks towards them, as if it was a horror movie. The trio fantasize what will become of them once Olimar catches them, while trying to get as far away from him as possible.

Olimar corners them in the storage closet, and the trio fear the worst. Only for Olimar to daintily push them to the side, and pick up two pikpik carrots for another smoothie.

All in all, this short isn't bad! It's cute and simple, a jokey horror trope. It simply suffers the fate most pilot episodes do. The other two are much less Olimar centered, and shine as a result.

SHORT 2

Short 2, Treasure in a Bottle, is my second favorite of the trio, but it definitely is close to overtaking short 3. This series is devoid of Olimar entirely, focused on Pikmin interacting with eachother. (And our protag, a Red Pikmin's desire for the shiny)

Short 2 starts out with a Red Pikmin, lets call him Steve, in a field chasing a butterfly. He gets distracted by a bottle, and proceeds to stare at his reflection in the glass.

The ramune is giant in comparison to Steve, and then he notices the shine of the marble inside. He screams in excitement, before scaling multiple objects to reach the top of the ramune bottle. (After falling off a grass blade gently)

Steve marvels at the marble, and hops into the bottle. He notices the long way down from where the marble lies and shudders, determined to roll the marble out. He attempts several times to do so, and on his last attempt, the marble gets stuck. After a few seconds, the marble falls and steve lands at the bottom of the bottle, and can't get out. While stuck, a trio of a single red, blue and yellow Pikmin come across Steve!

After laughing about how silly he looks inside the bottle, the trio tries to come up with a plan to break Steve out. Blue suggests filling the bottle with water, so Steve floats to the top and can be pulled off. Steve quickly shuts the idea down, as all Pikmin aside from blue Pikmin can't swim. Yellow has a much more direct approach, grabbing a bomb rock and allowing it to detonate, launching the bottle into the air. Steve flies out of the bottle, but as the bottle lands on the ground, Steve falls back into the bottle.

The three watch a trio of blue pikmin latched to eachother trying to pull down a butterfly, before a purple adds too much weight and the butterfly gets away. The trio has an idea, and like that Steve is saved!!!!

But not without taking the ramune with him ;)

SHORT 3

The final and longest Pikmin short, Occupational Hazard, is easily the best of the three in my opinion. It has Olimar present, but he isn't the focus of the short, the pikmin doing their thing are!

The short starts off showing some Pikmin taking apart pieces of a large machine, carrying bits ans pieces along, with come cute slapstick type comedy throughout. The camera pans out, showing how small the pikmin are compared to PNF-404 (Earth)

A quick pan later, and Olimar appears! He's using his whistle to direct Pikmin on where to go, much like in the games. The Pikmin are catapulting eachother, two go down, one comes up. They all carry the bits of metal to the Reasearch Pod, which assesses value. The Pod takes a brief leave, panning over Olimar and the Pikmin.

What a great shot

A yellow pikmin gets catapulted, offering a bent nail, which Olimar declines. The pikmin tosses the nail over the edge, hitting a white pikmin on the head. (Which they are VERY angry about) Two blue attempt to pull up a purple Pikmin, which was definitely unsuccessful, followed by a very angry white Pikmin yelling and taking his spot, only to be flung into the stratosphere after two purple Pikmin come down the catapult.

Back to business as usual.

The camera pans to some yellow Pikmin making their way inside the machine itself! Some yellows are carrying materials, but two stop and notice a small bolt. One touches it and gets shocked, followed by both touching it, and their leaves sprout into bulbs and flash, as they made a current! A blue tries to join in on the fun, but dies, as they can't conduct electricity. Poor guy :(

A small group of Pikmin sneak off to some pipes, ready to go have some fun! A blue Pikmin kicks a red through a pipe, and we get a cute transition to the other side of the pipes! A yellow pulls out a mushroom, a red and blue pull out screws and, there's a cute mario reference with a red Pikmin! Our lovely gang finds an odd looking pipe and decide to check it out, only for it to have been the snout of a Blowhog! It spews fire before emerging from the pipes, nearly burning the group. Luckily for them, some red Pikmin take on the Blowhog, because they're fire resistant. The red Pikmin are playing with thr Blowhog, despite it still chasing their friends around breathing fire. Luckily AGAIN, the Blowhog trips, and lands in the mud, its snout being filled with it. Naturally, they decide to have fun with the mud.

Back to Olimar and the construction site, my absolute favorite piece of pikmin media occurs. (Spliced 4 convenience, sound on!!!)

Something very big in these shorts are exaggerated reactions as well as music and sound effects playing to convey a specific feeling. Pikmin do not speak, and neither does Olimar. But in these shorts, their small soundbytes are able to convey what the pikmin are saying to eachother. This method of sound design is done extremely well, and I would argue to say that if these shorts prove anything at all, it's that nintendo could make a TV series that has no dialog whatsoever, and still have the audience rolling on thr floor laughing.

Back to the mud buds, we get a few more shots of them playing before yellow gets distracted. The shiny strikes again. Yellow walks into a large oil drum, and picks up a screw. Deeper in the drum, another sparkle catches his attention. Yellow picks the second up, and finds himself at a place with several odd colored objects. One of which he kicks.

It's a Bulborb!!! And its MAD. The mud buds are in trouble, and they're running as fast as they can from the Bulborb, who gets a red and blue Pikmin into its mouth. The two manage to get out through its nostrils, giving the others enough time to make a plan to outsmart the Bulborb.

A giant glove comes out of nowhere, halting the Bulborb and hypnotizing it, before flinging itself onto its backside. The glove was being controlled by an entourage of Pikmin, and the Bulborb catches on rather quickly, biting the glove and flinging the mud buds out. They all hide in a wheel rim(?) and some slapstick ensues.

Fed up with the mud bud's antics, the Bulborb kicks the rim, but hurts his toe instead. Poor guy,,, but he had it coming.

With a cute fanfare, we quickly return to Olimar, who has scaled the machine! But now his attention turns to the Bulborb that has been oddly fascinated with the rim.

The Bulborb finally manages to free the car wheel, throwing it into the air! Once it hits the ground, the mud buds all fall out, much to Olimar's dismay. And the way he struggles while whistling for the pikmin's attention is a BIG mood for people who've played the game before.

The mud buds start running to Olimar after hearing his call, much to the Bulborb's dismay. A chase ensues, and the Blowhog appears again, with its fire abilities regained. Rhe Bulborb continues to give chase, with two Pikmin meeting their demise. Everything seems hopeless, as the buds and Bulborb are huddled into the scoop of the machine.

And we get thrown back to the yellow Pikmin's party, with several linking to eachother and sparkling. One's foot touches the other's head, completing the current and turning the machine on.

The scoop gets sent upwards, as Olimar falls and lands on a lever, causing the scoop to let loose the contents inside. Right when it seems the buds are going to hit the ground along with the Bulborb, their leaves sprout into flowers! They gently float to the ground, while the Bulborb was.... not so lucky. A heavenly light shines as the gang ascend, with triumphant music in the background.

Oh and then all 97 pikmin left go ham on the bulborb.

The machine begins to deconstruct, and fall apart. More sadly relatable whistles from Olimar ensue, and uh

This happens.

After clearing the explosion, Olimar and the Pikmin look upon the wreckage, as the Pod reappears, and takes a value of the entire machine. The Pod asseses that the wreck is 100,000,000,007 pokos, and Olimar makes a triumphant pose. The white pikmin from earlier comes crashing down during the Fin. screen.

Now for my personal thoughts, while I have had some spread throughout, my final cohesive thoughts are as stated down below. Pikmin as a franchise has been dead for a while. We got a reboot of Pikmin 3 this year, and these were reuploaded from the WiiU era. The overwhelmingly positive response from the community as well as non-pikmin fans is second to none. These short style, no dialog cartoons have worked for Nintendo for years. (If anyone remembers the Yoshi and Poochy shorts I love you) This series is phenomenal at conceying emotion, or the volume of the situation, without saying a single word. The pikmin scream in excitement, they make their little noises in anger, dings and drones are placed perfectly, so EVERYONE can understand the situation. I fully believe that more companies should view these cartoons as cartoons, and give them the spotlight as well. Each short remains the length it has to be, and shows some fun content at that. The Pikmin interacting with eachother and behaving the way they do is adorable, especially when in the Pikilopedia from the games, Olimar mentions specifically they act like toddlers. Toddlers who help him not miss his own kids as much, while stranded on PNF-404.

If you wanna give the series a view for yourself, I'll provide the thinks below!!

[makeupbychio]

Lost & Found // Chapter 1.

pictures are not mine (and all the pictures in this chapter were taken here in my country,Chile...boys looking fine)

Chapter 1. Lost & Found

pairing : Calum Hood x Foreign female oc

warnings : emotions,i think(?)

word count : 4.8k

summary : she’s a dancer with a normal life in her country located at the end of the world, who would believe that even this things happens far away? that’s where Calum and she were found but people could be lost and found multiple times.

notes : hi babies,chapter 1 of the “Lost & Found” serie,

I know that is a foreign female oc and i still wrote everything in english (and just a few words in spanish) lol but you got the point.

Enjoy and as english is not my first language and it’s my first fic feel more than welcome to talk to me about opinions,suggestions,ideas,etc. thank you , love you xx.

fic serie is inspired by Lost & Found by Jorja Smith (listen to the song in the link to understand/enjoy chapter 1)

I never thought I would ever find

Something so assured but so fine (but so fine)

I'd fantasize that you'd come around

Focus and your dreams turn to reality

Rosie gets close to the boy that was already located in a table between the bar and the stage, although she doesn’t like prejudices, she can feels that the boy is not from the country so it’s better that she attend him because if the boy speaks in english Rosie is the only waitress in the bar who speaks english.

The boy nervously and with difficulty says in spanish “hola una cerveza , por favor”

She immediately laughs at him saying in english “that’s very sweet from you but don’t worry,I speaks english”

The blond boy returning to his first language a lit bit embarrassed “oh so it was a waste of time to come all the way here learning how to say ‘beer’ in spanish”

“It wasn’t a waste because you learned four words in spanish” she says.

“You know what? I changed my mind because looking at this amazing place,I’m not going to order a beer that’s a bit boring” he says.

“Then what are you going to order?” Rosie asks.

Can I trust you? you choose, bring me something typical of this country, a drink and a dish...surprise me” he says changing his attitude less embarrassed.

“Okay,I’ll be right back” Rosie says going to the kitchen to ask the order of the boy who looks like an actor from Grease.

Meanwhile the boy focuses all his attention on each musician of the band and especially the talent of the percussionists and internally trying to understand the rhythm of the unknown music to him.

Rosie came back to the boy’s table with his order, “so I brought you a drink called ‘terremoto’ that in english means ‘earthquake’ and well, the name it’s kinda obvious”

The boy’s surprised “wow, not scared at all with the name, if I get drunk with one of these you have to call my friends”

She laughs at the exaggerated comment “trust me, you need at least three of those to get drunk but if you want I can bring you a ‘piscola’ that is only pisco with coca cola”

“Oh no no,I definitely want to try this, challenge accepted.And what about the dish? he says.

“Well I brought you my favorite that is called ‘pastel de choclo’ which consists…” she was interrupted.

By a ring’s cell phone but he didn’t answer when he saw the name so Rosie keeps talking but doesn’t concentrate because the cell phone starts to ring again so she says “you should answer, it could be your girlfriend or boyfriend”

“Oh it’s not my girlfriends, it’s my mom but I liked that comment #diversity” he says.

“With more reason you should answer! that’s so rude” she answers.

“She has called me to tell me the same thing since I arrived south america and I told her that I’m going to ask for the person I’m trying to find” he says defending himself.

Rosie doesn’t want to look like a meddler but she likes to help people and also she was curious.

“If you need help I can help you to find this person, by the way my name is Rosie” she says offering her hand.

“Oh really? thank you! I’m Ashton and your name is cute” he takes her hand to shake. “Well my mom has been telling me to visit this bar because she knows one of the owners she met in Australia because this bar she told me that it’s here,Australia and other countries of South America” Ashton says.

“yeah I know, cool right? but there’s only one owner, the other two are partners that help the owner” she says.

“Got it,I’m trying to find Mario, if you could tell me if he’s here in this country or in one of the rest” he says hopefully.

“Mario?! your mom met Mario in Australia?! omg he’s actually here, I’m going to tell him” Rosie says surprised running to where her boss is sitting near the stage watching the band.

“Don’t dance today,Mario?” Rosie says softly to Mario.

Mario, an old man of 77 years old, his heart is bigger than the planet.A fan of football and sports in general, tango, journalism (the real one),loves drink mate and games and his family is his biggest treasure.

“Oh no darling, you know this old man doesn’t dance like before...what happened? I see you so exalted” Mario answers.

“Actually, someone is looking for you” she says.

“Oh I hope it’s not my friend Will again,I won fairly in our domino game” Rosie knew very well that Mario won most of the games because he cheated but she knew him enough so she just let him talk.Rosie helps Mario to stand up from his chair then she takes him by the arm.

When they arrive at the table where Ashton is, who was drinking and eating his order,Mario recognizes him immediately.

“Ashton?...” Mario asks with emotion walking slowly to the boy who stops drinking and eating to stand up and meet the old man.

“Yes sir, it’s me, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you, my mother told me to visit your bar and look for you sir” Ashton says.

“How are you son? wait, let’s move to the bar to talk...Rosie takes the dishes to the bar please” Mario says.

All set in the bar, they keep talking.

“Wow I can’t believe how big you are” Mario says.

“What? my mom is the one who met you, not me” Ashton says confused.

“Oh no son,I did get to know you too, you were a few months old to remember.I’m going to sum it up...I’ve been a journalist all my life but I also dedicated my life to tango that’s why is my favorite when the band play it at the bar...the point is that when I dared to open this bar here, then I did it in Argentina, in Brazil was opened by my son who lives there and one in Australia was opened by my grandson who lives there too with his girlfriend, so they are my partners who run those bars, also in Australia and Europe are plenty of chilean people living there because they had to leave Chile during the dictatorship or other reasons...So when I went to Australia to the inauguration of the bar your mother visited the bar looking for a job and I hired her because she was going through difficult economic times and I could not help her knowing that she had a newborn son, you.That’s how I met you and your mother because I stayed a couple of months to be near my grandson” Mario says.

Ashton is speechless, he didn’t expect that story since his mother never told him but he’s grateful to find out now.

“Now all makes sense why the dish that Rosie brought me was familiar to me, there were days when my mom came from work with food from the bar to give it to me.And makes sense why she told me that if I found you to thank you and told me to have a good time at the bar because sir let me tell you the bar is fantastic” Ashton says.

“It was what I had to do, it was the correct thing to do and I hope to contact her again, the last thing I knew was that you were a drummer, you dedicated yourself to music” Mario says.

They say we’re way too young to get the job done.

Are we really too young to be having so much fun?

Rosie and Theo did 1+1.Australian, drummer, musician...they clicked on their mind and now they know why Ashton’s face was so familiar to them.

“Yes,I’m in a band, we just played today here and we have a few days off before traveling to Argentina” Ashton confirms.

Rosie carefully intrudes into the conversation.

“Mario you never told me this story or that you went to the opening in Australia” she says.

“I didn’t tell you because you don’t believe several of my stories” Mario points at her.

“Ah yes, the one when you assisted to an olympic games when Hitler was alive” she defends herself.

“Darling,I’m a sports journalist! I have proofs of that” Mario says.

Ashton is laughing at the conversation between the owner and the waitress. “wow sir everything is unbelievable,I suppose you know the rest of my family’s story so I can only thank you”

“Just call me Mario, son.Now, why don’t you cheer up and show us a little bit of your talent?” Mario says.

“I don’t want to bother, besides, the band is incredible” Ashton says.

“Don’t say that!, ‘Los Dominós’ will be more than happy to have you on stage and you can learn some south american music and let me tell you we have enough percussion instruments” Mario tries to convince him and Ashton accepted. “Rosie takes Ashton to the stage and tell the band, please”

“Okay, do you want me to help you to stand up and get close to the stage again?” Rosie asks but she was interrupted by Ashton.

“Oh let me help him, leave it to me” he says.Rosie mutters thanks to Ashton and she goes to the stage when the band finished playing the song they were playing, she speaks to the leader of the band, Pablo, who Mario always makes fun of him because he looks like Lenny Kravitz.

So Rosie told him the story and Pablo says “Of course he can! you know that we love to welcome people and meet colleagues”

Rosie waves at Ashton to take the stage while Ashton is leaving Mario in his chair.When she gets off the stage, she sits next to Mario to watch and enjoy the show.

Pablo greets Ashton “hi kiddo, so you are a musician too, eh? Is okay if I give you the bongos?”

“yes! hell yeah” Ashton answers.

“Okay, so I’ll show you the tempo of the next song” Pablo says.After Pablo shows Ashton the tempo he takes the microphone to introduce Ashton.

“Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have a special guest, a new friend, his name is Ashton who is also a musician, he comes from...Hey kiddo, where are you from?”

“I’m from Australia” Ashton answers.

“So everyone a round of applause for our australian friend! Enjoy the next song, groove!” When the song starts makes people immediately lose themselves again in the groove.

Ashton is little bit confused because this type of music is new for him so it takes him the first seconds to catch the rhythm with the bongos and goes along with the band.

He has a huge smile and feels so inspired seeing the atmosphere that is formed and the energy that people is radiating.

Ashton is watching them dancing, singing, having fun and clapping almost in slow motion, so he saves that moment in his mind to treasure it forever and get inspiration for maybe a next song for his band’s album, who knows?

People look so unworried as if every bad thing that each individual could be living was leave it outside the door of the bar and they just enjoy.

Ashton is almost overwhelmed by how kind everyone has been here and everything he found out, so far.

After two songs,Ashton gets off the stage but without first thanking the band, and ‘Los Dominós’ asks for a picture with him and Ashton tells them to tag him so later he can share it on instagram.

“That was amazing!” Mario and Rosie say at the same time which makes Ashton laugh.

“Thanks to you, that was so fun” Ashton says and he already was sweating, so he takes the sweat off his forehead.

Mario looks at his watch and makes a sign to the band.

“Okay, we have one more song left because the bar it’s going to close, enjoy it and see you tomorrow, goodnight!” Pablo says.

“Damn it’s almost midnight ,but I want to keep talking” Ashton says noticing that it’s close time.

“Stay all the time you want son, no problem.We leave when everything is clean so we have a couple of hours more” Mario says.

While Ashton was helping again Mario to go back to the bar to keep talking,Rosie and Theo don’t waste time to clean and order everything fast as they can.

“By the way, the food and the drink were delicious,I want a couple of everything here to eat in United States” Ashton says with a little laugh to Mario.

“Or you can buy the ingredients and cook them in United States, or you’ll have to come back” Mario says patting Ashton’s shoulder.

“Or you can open the bar in United States” Ashton says with a winner look.

“Good idea to be honest” Rosie screams from the kitchen and returning to the bar to talk.

“See,Rosie agrees with me, give me five” Ashton says while he and Rosie high five.”But to be serious,I’m going to come back Mario”

Mario laughs at the fast mutual understanding Ashton and Rosie have in less than 1 day like if they were friends for years. “Okay kids, if you let me I’m going to see if the chef is ready to close the kitchen,I’ll be right back”.

Rosie’s cell phone starts to ring that she receives a message, well actually more than one.

“Wow I think that your boyfriend or girlfriend is really trying to tell you something” Ashton takes Rosie’s words from before.

She just laughs noticing that,”It’s my best friend,Cami.I thought she was on a date with her boyfriend.And I don’t have a boyfriend, he broke up with me because I quit my career” Rosie says without taking her eyes off her phone’s screen.

“Such an asshole!” Ashton looks if Mario it’s not around because he said a bad word. “What did you study before? and you’re just working now?” he says with a curious face resting his elbows and interlacing his fingers.

“I studied architecture for one year and now I’m in my third year studying dance, what I really love and I work here” she says a little bit nervous because most of people don’t like the idea of her dancing studies.

“You are a dancer?! that’s so cool!” Ashton says excited like a kid.

“Not yet officially,I still have two semesters left but I already work with some national artists so yeah it’s cool” she says happy talking about what she loves.

“And why I didn’t see you dancing tonight?” Ashton says disappointed.

“Because I’m working as a waitress not as a dancer, duh.Trust me,I would have been dancing there but I need the money because my parents didn’t like the idea that I decide to be a dancer so I’m paying my career” she says with an attitude. “But don’t talk about me, that’s kinda boring.Let’s talk about you...with Theo we discovered who you are”

“Really? I thought that people didn’t notice when we arrived or left a place” Ashton says.

“I don’t know if you’re overreacting or being sarcastic” she laughs.

Now there is nobody left in the bar so Theo closes the door and puts the ‘close’ sign outside.

Mario is back in the conversation but with a smile as if he had an idea “So Ashton, you told me you have a few days off..” Ashtons nods at him. “What if Rosie makes you and your band a tour outside the capital, because I don’t think you prefer to stay in your hotel all the days, that is so boring”

Ashton interrupts him “Mario I don’t want to bother and also I think that Rosie has her own things to do”

“Yeah Mario, you told me to work tomorrow because Chris had his niece’s baptism and I have to cover his shift” she says.

“Don’t worry darling,I would call Theo and I’ll pay him more.And also you can go with Cami and go there where you like to go” Mario says to Rosie. “It’s a nice place with mountains, lakes, away from this pollution and it’s just a few minutes from here” now he’s talking to Ashton trying to convince him.

“Okay,I have to be honest, that sounds cool.I’ll go if you want of course” Ashton directs to Rosie.

“I’m in.Do you think your band would like the idea?” Rosie says to him.

“I go with you,I don’t care if they prefer to stay in the hotel” Ashton says.

They were interrupted by someone who knocks desperately at the door of the bar and Theo says in spanish “we’re closed!” but this person keeps knocking as this person didn’t what Theo said.

Mario gives Theo a gesture to open the door.That’s when a tanned boy with brown eyes and dark hair and moles on his face, he also seemed taken out from ‘Grease’ with his style, he was with a worried face.

“Calum? What are you doing here buddy?” Ashton says surprised to see his friend there.

The boy called Calum with relief “Ashton here you are! Thank God” he just keeps talking as if there were nobody else “Do you know what time it is? I went down to the hotel restaurant because I was hungry and I thought you were there when nobody answered in your room and your phone.And then the receptionist told me that you had asked about this place.We were worried with Michael and Luke”

“Calum breathe please” Ashton says gesturing to his friend with his hand to calm down. “I came to visit a family’s friend”

For the first time Calum return to Earth and notices that he wasn’t alone.He turns his head and the first person he saw is Rosie, he doesn’t even notice Mario and Theo so he thinks that Ashton went to visit this girl. Bowing to his friend he says “now I understand why you’ve been here for hours...God is a woman for sure”

He said that so fast that Ashton even when was gesturing with his hand to him to shut up, it was too late.”Calum they speak english too”

Calum throws a deadly look at Ashton and says ‘FUCK’ to himself.

Mario breaks the ice “Ashton came to visit me, my name is Mario and I’m Ashton family’s friend” with a protective position behind Rosie, Mario puts his hands on Rosie’s shoulders “and she’s my granddaughter”

“Your granddaughter?!” Ashtons says shocked and Calum doesn’t understand why his friend is so surprised. “Mario why didn’t you tell me? this is amazing”

“She’s like my partner in crime since she was born,I think that from me she got the passion for dancing, which makes me proud but at the same time I know that my daughter, her mother, doesn’t like the idea that now she is a dancer” Mario says looking at his granddaughter.

Calum is trying to understand everything because it’s too much information in less than 5 minutes.But now all his attention is in the girl in front of him and can’t believe that she is a dancer.

“If I had known that before,I would have asked for a dance tonight between grandfather and granddaughter” Ashton says with a pout and throwing hands to exaggerate.

“On another occasion” Mario says.

Rosie speaks for the first time since Calum goes into the bar “yeah,Mario is my grandfather and hi my name is Rosie” extending her hand to Calum, who is still ashamed but he takes her hand. “Ashton give me your number to coordinate about tomorrow”

“What? What is going to happen tomorrow?” Calum says confused.

“I will tell you at the hotel” Ashton says.

Rosie and Ashton exchange numbers.

“I’m going to call Cami to know if she is going tomorrow, she left a lot of messages” after a couple of seconds “She didn’t pick up her phone, maybe she’s busy”

“For sure she’s going to go tomorrow, she’s your partner in crime” Mario says calming her.

“Well I think we’re going back to the hotel because it’s late and Rosie when you can send me all the info for tomorrow” Ashtons points at her. “Mario thank you again for everything,I can tell by looking at your bar and what you have done for my family you are an important person in Chile and for the culture and the journalism.I’m going to be back here,I promise, now more that I know what you did for my family” Ashton says grateful.

Away from the rest Mario answers to Ashton “You’re always welcome here with your family, son.I’m glad to see the man you’ve become, have fun tomorrow and please take care of Rosie, she’s my only granddaughter who lives in this country”

“Don’t worry” they hug each other. “Okay Cal, let’s go...bye Mario,Rosie and Theo” and Calum says goodbye too.

Once outside the bar,Ashton and Calum walk back to the hotel in silence through the empty, slightly illuminated streets of the city.

In the elevator Calum speaks for the first time “that was embarrassing what I said, you could have warned me”

“I would, but I wasn’t expecting THAT reaction because you never react like that” Ashton defends himself. “I mean, that was very impulsive from you”

Calum’s left thinking about it, what his friend is telling him because Ashton is right.What makes him to react like that? Why now?

In another hand,Michael hears the elevator and goes into the hallway in search of his friends. And he can hear the last part of what Ashton said. “Hi guys, what was very impulsive?”

“Nothing” Calum says changing the topic of the conversation and leading to Luke’s room.And Michael looks at his friend muttering ‘what happened?’ and Ashton gestures him to keep walking.

The four of them reunited in Luke’s room,Ashton says “I have an offer for us”

That’s when Ashton tells about the bar, Mario, what he planned with Rosie and her friend.Everyone agrees to go and have fun.

Now is Michael who does 1+1 in his mind, “Oh so you were talking about this girl in the elevator”

“Yes,I made myself look like a creepy in front of this girl that Ashton met” Calum says a little bit pissed off.

Ashton told the story to his friends about Calum’s reaction when he saw Rosie.

Luke is laughing till the point he can’t breathe “GOD IS A WOMAN?! really Cal?”

Michael is surprised of his friend “wow Cal, that’s new”

“Yeah yeah, thanks for your support” Calum says with sarcasm. “Night y’all, see you tomorrow” But now in his room he doesn’t know why the situation keeps spinning in his head, because it wasn’t a big deal, or maybe it was? ‘I don’t know’ he says to himself.It doesn’t even matter because in a couple of days he’s never going to see this girl again.

Ashton goes to sleep after Rosie send to him all the information.

---

Finally Rosie is at her home, and her dog is the first one to receive her and of course because everyone was sleeping at that hour of the night.She’s tired walking upstairs to her room and she wasn’t expecting to see her best friend,Cami in her room with two spoons and a huge ice cream to share.Something happened because that was their thing to deal with sadness.

Cami, a young woman, a couple of months younger than Rosie, Cami has brown skin, dark brown hair and hazel eyes.She wasn’t fat, her body type was just thick and she loves that about her body.If she didn’t say that she’s chilean, people would think that she is caribbean because of her tanned skin and her braids (that Rosie always tells her that she should live with her natural hair because it’s so beautiful, but Cami was insecure about her afro)

Cami has a particular way to be that makes her so special and Rosie’s best friend.They always joke about that they were like opposite poles in relation of their physical aspects, it was because there is a chilean candy called ‘Tuyo’ that was part of the joke.

They were friends since they were 10 years old and they have in common their friendship, their sense of humor, their joy of enjoying life and future plans in common.

“Hi bestie, what happened? Ice cream alert?” Rosie says softly closing her bedroom door.

Cami can’t hold anymore the tears, she gives Rosie a spoon to start eat and talk. “Matty broke up with me”

“What? Why? When?” Rosie has too many questions.

“He said that he doesn’t have more time for our relation since he’s in university and that was all he cares about and also he said that my body changes since I gained weight” Cami cries.

“You wait me here,I’m going to his house and show him that nobody disrespect my best friend” now Rosie is walking out her room so furious ‘yo lo mato’ she thinks but before she can put her hoodie again her friend stops her.

“Can I stay here tonight? so we can cry, watch rom-coms and eat ice cream all night and the whole weekend”.  Cami says with a pout.

“Mmm the truth is that I have better plans for the weekend for us and I’m sure that this is going to make you feel better” Rosie says with a smirk.So she tells Cami about who is Ashton and what she planned with him and his band, and at the end she adds Calum’s comment when he saw her.

“Yas mami, you know that means he’s into you.So you better do your thing and your magic girl that you do with those eyes” Cami says hyping her best friend.

“You’re crazy,I’m not going to do anything.Besides they’re just going to be here a couple of days so that means I’m never going to see him again in my life except for Ashton because Mario made him part of the family already” Rosie says.

“I’m just saying, then you’re going to tell me ‘Cami you were right’.And you know why? because I’m always right, and you’re going to see again this boy” Cami says with her bossy attitude.

Rosie sends Ashton the info for tomorrow.

After the ice cream disappears,Rosie and Cami went to sleep even when Cami goes to sleep with a broken heart but Rosie knows that her plans are going to make her feel better.

…

In the morning Michael wakes up Calum and Calum lets him know that he looks like a little child and looks like he was injected with sugar.

[icequeenoriginal]

New Super Sarcastic Bros.

Pairings: Logicality and Prinxiety

Note: Me? Still obsessed with @sugarglider9603‘s Mario Au? More likely than you think. This was so fun to write so I did get a bit carried away. I hope you still enjoy it

Trigger Warnings: Deceit, kidnapping, tied up and gagged, knocked out, unconscious, hurt/comfort, manipulation, slight panic attack, fighting, swearing (I’m trying to get better at tagging triggers)

“You saved me, Lo!”

“It’s what I do.”

“You did awesome Virgil!”

“T-Thanks Ro. Let’s get you home.”

Bowceit rolled his eyes as he sat under the rumble of his once grand castle. He waited for the plumbers and the princes to leave before he got up and wiped the dirt off of him. Another plan had failed. He had lost to Logan and Virgil yet again and had neither Patton nor Roman as his husband.

Bowceit walked around, picking up the unconscious danger noodles from their various spots in the debris. He instructed the magikoopas that were still alive (and trying to flee) to rebuild the castle. He flopped into his throne as he watched the walls rise up once again around him. His decorations and lava were put back into their proper place. Slowly, his children woke up and choose to wait outside their rooms for them to be rebuilt. Leaving their father to sulk in his chair.

Once the castle was completely rebuilt, Bowceit made his way over to the kitchen. Pulling his favorite mug down, he turned to see one of his faithful Koopas making him a big pot of coffee. It was his tradition that after he lost to the Sarcastic Bros., he would drown his sorrows in coffee. His daughter had banned him from eating ramen noodles out of the coffee cup anymore.

Bowceit sighed as he took a sip. He was so exhausted. Every week he’d kidnap one of the princes, only to be defeated by the pesky plumbers. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how many different plans he came up with, nothing worked.

He silently contemplated giving up. He could continue being a single dad to his eight wonderful children. He could focus on running his kingdom instead of fighting. His stuff wouldn’t be broken as often as it was. Maybe, just maybe, he should stop.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the castle’s door. Finding that odd, Bowceit walked over. Upon opening it, he was greeted by a young woman. She was wearing a red dress and a red hat. Her eyes and hair were chocolate brown.

Bowceit would have found her beautiful if he wasn’t gay.

She smiled at him sweetly. “Hello there!”

“Hello” he replied deadpanned. He had noticed that in one of her hands was a red suitcase. He figured she was there to sell him something. He hoped the danger noodles would stay in their rooms or he’d lose a lot of coins fast.

“I hope I’m not bothering you but I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of the Mushroom Kingdom.”

Bowceit raised an eyebrow and raised the coffee to his mouth. “The Mushroom Kingdom? What business do you have there? Visiting the prince?”

The woman smile fondly “Oh nothing like that. I’m visiting two friends of mine. I doubt you know them.”

“Try me. I have a lot of...business...in the Mushroom Kingdom.” Bowceit took a sip of his coffee.

“Their names are Logan and Virgil” Bowceit immediately spat out his coffee and had a coughing fit.

The woman jumped and patted his back “Are you alright?!” She patted his back in an attempt to help him.

Suddenly, Bowceit straightened up “Yes, yes, I’m alright. What-What did you say your name was?”

“Oh, my name is Valerie. Do you know Logan and Virgil?”

Bowceit suddenly smiled and his confident demeanor returned. He straightens up and even fixed his leather jacket with his free hand. “I do. They’ve…done some work for me. How do you know them?”

The woman now known as Valerie replied “Oh we go way back! We’re longtime friends. Plus they…Oh, you probably don’t want to hear me ramble.”

“No please, I need to draw up a map anyway for you. Come in, come in.” Valerie was impressed by this man’s kindness and followed him into the castle.

“Would you like something to drink or eat as we talk?”

Valerie shook her head, wanting this visit to be short. She told Bowceit the basics, figuring the boys wouldn’t want a random stranger to know. This was more than enough for the villain. He concluded that the brothers have enough history with this woman to care about her wellbeing. Care enough that they would definitely come and try to rescue her.

Valerie tugged on his arm to pull him back into reality. “So, may I have that map now?”

“Map? Oh yes, the map! Excuse me for a moment!” Bowceit walked off and rubbed his hands together maniacally. Oh, how perfect this was! This was a sign that he mustn’t stop being a villain. He is one level pull away from trapping this woman. She will make perfect bait for the Sarcastic Bros while he can marry any prince of his choosing.

Bowceit suddenly stopped walking. A thought crossed his mind.

The princes.

The same princes who make no secret of how jealous they can get. Roman was more outward and Patton was inward but it was still apparent.

The princes who have never met this woman.

The princes who he wants to punish for helping to ruin his plans.

Bowceit smirked and quickly drew up a map. He walked over to her, forming his new plan with every step. “Here you are, my dear.”

Valerie popped up happily and took the map. “Oh thank you! It was nice meeting you.” Bowceit waved as she left.

Oh, this is going to be fun.

~

Prince Patton groaned as he rubbed his face. This was the worst week of the year. It was nothing but non-stop work and meetings. Usually, he would go as slowly as he could so he wouldn’t fry his brain. But now that he had Logan, Patton wanted to get it out of the way as soon as he possibly could. That didn’t make it easier.

Logan was a god’s sent for the past few days. He constantly checked on Patton, gives him neck and back messages and makes sure he sleeps and eats. Patton was currently distracted by Logan making him tea, so much so that he nearly fell out of his throne.

Logan walked in, carefully holding a  teacup. “Here you go dear, take a quick break. I’ll look over some of those papers.”

Patton stood up and took the drink gratefully. He was clearly exhausted. “Thank you, love. You’re amazing.” Patton took a sip and felt the peace run down his throat to calm him down. Logan sat on the throne and began looking over the plans Patton had for building stronger houses for the Thomases and Talyns in the event of a Bowceit attack.

Patton smirked and sat innocently on Logan’s lap. Logan didn’t look up from his work, only wrapping his free arm around Patton. Patton leaned into the embrace and began to gently kiss Logan’s ear, cheek, and neck. Logan’s face progressively got redder by the minute and his focus figuratively jumped out the window. He turned his head slowly to captured Patton’s traveling lips.

They were interrupted by a sudden squeal. They both turned to see a very delighted Valerie. “Omg, Logan!”

Logan was shocked to see his old friend but no less happy to see her “Valerie!” He quickly picked up Patton and put the prince in his throne before running off to hug her.

“It’s been so long!”

“My, have you’ve grown!”

“I can’t believe you’re here!”

Patton felt his heart shatter as he witnessed the exchange. Who was this beautiful woman hugging his boyfriend? Logan has certainly never mentioned her before. Was she his ex…? No…Logan told him he never dated anyone before. He wouldn’t lie...right…?

Patton took a deep breath and walked over with the most genuine smile he could. “Hello there.”

Valerie curtsied “Hello your majesty.”

“Please, call me Patton.” She talks his hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. “And you are?”

The woman smiled “My name is Valerie.”

Logan patted her shoulder and spoke proudly “She is a dear friend of mine. We go way back!”

“Dear friend? Honey, I’m your best friend! Virgil’s too!”

Patton’s heart began to break as he watched the exchange between the two. They were so close, in a whole different world. A world Patton wasn’t allowed in.

Valerie tugged on Logan’s arm “Come on! You must show me around.”

Logan didn’t hesitate “Of course!” They ran out of the castle, leaving the prince with nothing but his work and a slowly growing pain in his chest.

~

Virgil sat bored outside Roman’s meeting hall. He started hitting his legs to create a beat. He figured he could start writing a new song. One for Roman so he wouldn’t stab himself out of frustration. He felt so sorry for his boyfriend. Virgil could barely handle the small amount of paper required for when he was a plumber, he could never imagine what mountains Roman has to climb as a leader of a kingdom.

A Talyn ran up to his with a newly acquired cell phone. The plumbers had them installed mainly so that the princes could communicate easily or if the plumbers needed the other’s help.

“It’s your brother.” Virgil nodded and took the phone, a silent thank you.

“Hell? Hey Lo, what’s up? Seriously? No way! I’ll be right there!” Virgil put the phone down and went to knock on the door that separates him and Roman. He shook his head, he couldn’t possibly bother Roman while he was doing serious business. He didn’t want to get in the way. Smiling to himself, Virgil took off. He figured Roman wouldn’t mind.

~

An hour later, Roman exited the room, feeling accomplished. He got a good amount of work taken care of which met he could spend time with Virgil. As Roman began to fantasize about what they could do, he saw that the chair that Virgil was occupying was empty. He had to ask several different Talyns and Thomases before finding the one who gave Virgil the phone.

“His brother called, your majesty, and then he took off.”

“Thank you.” Roman went to his room and scooped up all the documents he could and placed them in a bag. He figured Patton had been kidnapped again and Logan called Virgil for his help. He hopped into his carriage and hoped the Mushroom Kingdom was alright. Upon seeing everything too peaceful in the kingdom though, Roman began to wonder if there was another reason Virgil left.

As Roman walked into the castle, he barely dodged the flying bowl thrown his way. A few Talyns and Thomases were worried as they clean up after their angry prince. They practically pushed him into the kitchen, begging him to calm Patton down.

Roman could almost laugh at what he was seeing. Patton and his kitchen were covered in flour and dough as Patton angrily stirred in his bowl, sending the ingredients all around the room. Roman grabbed a cookie before stealing the bowl from Patton with a smirk.

“Yo Pat! What did the bowl do to you?” Roman’s smirk dropped when he saw Patton look down at ground instead of reply. Roman gently lifted his chin and saw that tears were forming in his eyes “What’s wrong?”

Patton tried to blink away his tears. “A woman…”

“A woman?”

Patton nodded “A woman came by…she said she’s Logan’s best friend…he never told me about her.”   

Roman was shocked, Logan was so open with Patton, and a sinking feeling developed in his stomach “Best friend?” “Yeah, Virgil’s too…”

“WHAT?!”

Patton pointed to the window and revealed to Roman the woman hugging Virgil.

Who the hell does she think she is, hugging his man?! Roman balled up his fists and was ready to march right over there and deck her if Patton hadn’t physically restrained him. Roman didn’t fight it, opting to give Patton a hug. He rubbed circles into Patton back and Patton let himself cry.

Roman gave him a soft smile “Let’s get you cleaned up.” Roman grabbed a rag and began to wipe the food and tears off of Patton’s face. This allowed Patton to catch his breath and let more tears fall.

Roman got to Patton’s arms when they noticed their boyfriends and that woman were headed towards the entrance of the castle. Patton abruptly turned and began to wipe his eyes roughly to stop himself from crying. He grabbed the closest sponge and tossed it to Roman. “Start cleaning, please.”

Roman nodded and started wiping the wall. He imagined himself running at Virgil and tackling him to the ground. Not to attack him, just to aggressively make out with him to show the woman needed to back off. He never got the chance though, Logan called out for Patton and Patton shouted back that he was in the kitchen.

Logan and Virgil walked in with big grins on their faces as their boyfriend scrubbed away their sorrows.

“Hey honey, I’m back!”

“Ro! I didn’t know you were here!” Roman nearly threw the sponge at his head. He really wanted to yell at Virgil for leaving without telling him but Roman also wanted to yell at Logan for making Patton cry.

Logan gave Patton a side hug, oblivious to the pained expression of the prince’s face. “Since we’re all here, how about the five of us talk over tea?”

Roman turned his head to him bewildered as Patton hide his expression behind his bangs. “Five?”

Virgil gently took Roman’s arms “Yeah! We want to introduce you guys to Valerie!”

Roman looked at Virgil and his heart ached. Virgil looked so excited to introduce him, how could he say no to that?

Both Princes nodded their heads. Patton even told them to take Valerie to the common room so the princes could make the tea. That allowed the princes to regain their composure, however fake, especially after the punch to the gut of their boyfriends running off too quickly for their tastes.

Roman gripped the sink as Patton started up the kettle “We’re going to join them, aren’t we?”

Patton sucked in his breath “Yup.”

“Wonderful.”

~

Patton’s teacup was shaking in his hands “S-So, h-how did you guys met?” Patton took a sip to calm himself down. Tea always helped.

If anyone noticed that the prince was acting strangely, no one voiced it. Virgil decided to start the tale “Lo and I used to live in New Donk City, where Valerie is from.”

“Thanks for telling me about that.” Roman thought bitterly.

Logan continued “But we didn’t know each other. The day we really met was when we rescued Valerie from this crazy monkey who climbed up the tallest building in the city, the one we happened to be working in.”

Patton felt like he was going to throw up “I thought I was your first rescue…”

“It was nothing Valerie,” Logan replied

“Nothing?! Without you two, my city wouldn’t have its mayor.”

Both Roman nearly choked on his tea while Patton’s cookie missed his mouth. Patton gently put the cookie down and whipped his face before answering “Y-You’re the mayor?”

“Oh yes! I forgot to mention that.” The princes sighed. Great, she was basically like them. There was nothing to top it.

Roman wasn’t going to give in that easily “So what happened next? Did you two date or something?” He gestured between Logan and Valerie, not wanting to even think that Virgil was a possibility. The three city folk erupted in laughter. Valerie regained her composer first. “No, no! One of them would have to be attracted to women for me to date them. No, we’re just great friends.” Valerie smiled and leaned over the table, taking a hand from each of the princes. “I’m so happy my boys found such great guys like you.”

Once she let go, the princes exchanged a look that screamed: “She’s a keeper.”

And yet, that didn’t make it hurt less. The princes had never seen their boyfriends smile like this. They seemed so happy spending time with her. They weren’t bogged down with the responsibility of protecting her, they could be normal adults with her. They looked so relaxed, a calmness neither prince could ever remember providing.

It didn’t help that the princes weren’t being included in the conversations.

Roman gave up right away, watching the tea leaf float in his teacup. He couldn’t look at Virgil. He couldn’t watch someone else light up his eyes. He couldn’t accept the fact that someone else made Virgil happy before Roman ever met him and continues to. Roman felt so unneeded, he just wanted to lock himself in his castle so that he didn’t have to face the fact Virgil loved someone else.

Patton tried to jump into the conversations, but it involved inside jokes and memories Patton would never know about. Patton’s eyes fell on Logan. Logan…who is forced to save Patton every week while he only had to save Valerie once. Was that why Logan ran off so eagerly? To have a taste of life without having to put up with him? Patton’s heart shattered. Maybe Logan secretly hated him and was only still with Patton because he was a prince.

Valerie sudden straighten up with a look of realization on her face, snapping the princes’ out of their depressing thoughts. “I almost forgot! I wanted to visit the cafe Talent! .I’ve been told it’s a must do when you visit here”

Roman interjected before either plumber could speak, “O-Oh, you could go to that, or y-you could come and watch the tennis game Pat and I were about to put on!”

Both Virgil’s and Logan’s faces became red fast. A tennis game meant their boyfriends were going to wear their sports outfits. The brothers were not ready for that. They each grabbed Valerie’s arms and lifted her up at out of her chair. “We’ll see you guys after the game!” They ran off quickly, telling Valerie stories of their adventures to block out their fantasies.

“O-Oh okay…” Patton tried to stay positive as he watched them leave. “You kiddos enjoy yourselves while we have fun…playing tennis…right Roman?” He got no reply. He turned to see Roman walking off. “Roman?”  

Roman walked over to the lake, eyes closed and hands folded. Once he made it to the edge, he abruptly opened his eyes and blurted out a huge scream of pure anger. The scream was so powerful that his people all the way in Sarasaland could hear him. Thankfully, (or unfortunately, if you are Roman) Virgil was walking in the other direction and lost in the conversation so he was unable to hear Roman.

Thomas and Talyn hide fearfully behind their equally terrified prince. Roman walked back over to Patton and smiled “Shall we?”

Patton just nodded his head and followed Roman back into his castle to get changed. In the distance, Bowceit was happily enjoying the spectacle. He threw his head back, almost choking from the laughter. He quickly realized he had finished his popcorn.

“Well, time to get this party started.”

~ They never made it to the tennis courts.

Once they arrived in Patton’s room the change, the princes flopped onto Patton’s bed. They are on different sides of the bed, heads meeting in the middle. Roman gently taps his feet against the headboard before kicking it in anger. He kicked it so hard that he moved so that their shoulders were next to each other.

“Who does she think she is?! Being all perfect and taking all their attention?! She’s hasn’t been around them like we are!” As Roman continued to rant, he waved his arms to strengthen his point. Patton listens intently to avoid giving attention to the aching feeling in his chest.

“And how can Virgil be so comfortable around her! He’s barely comfortable around me and we’re dating! Not to mention living together!” Roman covered his face with his hands “And I can’t even banish her since Virgil likes her so much.” Patton chuckled as Roman turned his head to him “We could kill her.”

Patton hit his arm playfully “Roman Marigold of Sarasaland! What would your mother say?”

“She would say” Roman straighten up and make his voice sound snooty “Roman, as a prince, you must be a host and you must be kind to all. We do not wish ill will onto someone.” His voice changed back to normal “And then she’d tell me to sit up straight or something.”

Patton laughed, that made him feel better. It’s been a while since the two of them were able to have a happy moment like this. They were children again, with no fear of Bowceit and no jealousy plaguing them.

Roman sighed “I can’t blame her though. It’s all me. I’m insecure about our relationship and I’m so afraid of losing him that I act like this but it’ll only result in me pushing him away.”

Patton did a double taken. “Woah, where did that come from?”

“...I’ve been hanging out with Picani too much.”

Patton smiled and gently bumped their heads together “Don’t worry about it, it’s not just you.”

“You?! But you and Logan are perfect together!”

Patton looked away “Perfect? I never heard of a perfect relationship that involves needing weekly rescues?” Patton shook his head and curled up into a ball “I’m so scared he’s going to become sick of rescuing me and he’ll just leave and I’ll be forced to marry Bowceit--”

“Hey, hey.” Roman caught his attention “That’s never going to happen. Sarcastic bros or not, you’re never going to have to be forced to marry that snake. I’ll make sure of it.”

Patton smiled “Thanks, Ro. You’re the best.”

Roman shrugged “It’s what I do.”

They laid there a little while longer, finishing off the cookies made by a stressed Patton. They continued to gossip and complain, just to past the time. Eventually, Patton tapped Roman and said: “Come on, we have work to do.”

Roman whined “No! I don’t want to!”

Patton pulled on his arm “We have to. We both have a bunch of individual work, plus we have to re-establish our alliance.”

Roman sat up. “Fineee. Hey Pat? Are we still each other’s best friend?”

Patton let out an offended noise “Of course we are! Why would you even need to ask?”

Roman dodged the question by continuing with: “So, because we are best friends, we would want our kingdoms to be allies?”

“Yes.”

Roman clapped his hands together “Great! Meeting’s over, let’s go back to complaining about our boyfriends.” Roman flopped back onto the bed.

Patton pulled him off the bed “Get up Roman, I know you don’t want to do this but we have to.”

Roman laid on the floor in protest “No, what I have to be doing is cuddling with Virgil in my bed with the door lock, keeping all my problems outside.”

Patton dropped the papers on him “Up, now.”

Roman sighed and gave in. They both sat on Patton’s bed as they read through the different files. Both of them let out a groan once they got through one packet in half an hour.

Roman looked up at the window and shouted “Hey Bowceit! If you’re planning on kidnapping me, now would be a great time!” Both princes began to laugh until they heard the sudden sound of running feet.

Patton suddenly became terrified “Could it be?!”

Roman shook his head but moved so that he was between Patton and the door “No way. He’s not that stupid to a) stalk us and b) actually listen to anything I say.” Still, Roman had a bad feeling and he reached down for his sword.”

The door bursts open, revealing an out of breath Logan and Virgil with a slightly frustrated Talyn. For a second, Roman wonder if they heard him and he was about to get yelled at.

Talyn pointed at the princes “See? I told you they were fine.” That didn’t seem to be enough for the plumber. They practically threw themselves at their boyfriends. Patton melted into the touch as if he had never been held before even though he was in Logan's arms hours before. He needed this so badly.

Roman was just very confused. He still returned the hug though.

Logan kissed Patton’s head before speaking “Thank god you’re alright.”

Despite all that, Patton was the first one to pull away. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

Logan looked down, ashamed “We were taking Valerie to the cafe…”

Patton grabbed his hands so he would continue

“And then Bowceit showed up in his gigantic ship and attacked the town. We fought him off but once the smoke cleared, Valerie was gone. We looked everywhere.”

Patton frowned and Roman shook his head, that villain would never give up.

Virgil continued “We were going to go straight to Bowceit’s castle but we stopped to check on you guys.”

The princes' heads snapped towards him as Logan nodded: “Yes, and when we saw that you guys weren’t at the tennis courts, we feared the worse.”

The princes exchanged a look. Did he say what I think he said?

~

Valerie woke up with a headache and with no idea where she was. She looked around the dark room and saw nothing. Her arms were tied to the arms of a chair and her legs were tied to the legs of the chair. She swore she could see a shadow watching her but when she called out, no one replied. She pulled on the restraints but it was no use.

Suddenly, the shadow moved into the light and she saw the man with the strange face from before. She needed answers now. “What’s going on? Why am I here?”

Bowceit smiled “Pardon my rudeness my dear but I did tell you a bit of a lie. Several actually. I felt bad so I brought you here. Let me start over. My name is King Bowceit.”

Valerie tilted her head “King Bowceit? Wait a minute, I know who you are! You’re always kidnapping princes!”

Bowceit scoffed “That’s what everyone one says now thanks to those two jerks you call friends. What really happened was I was supposed to marry one of the princes but those pesky plumbers got in the way. That forced me to use…different methods.”

“So kidnapping princes.”

“You say kidnapping, I say proposing.” “You’re insane!”

“Thank you.” Bowceit walked back into the darkness and flipped on the lights “But really, that’s beside the point, I brought you here to thank you.”

“Thank me?” Valerie was flabbergasted.

Bowceit smirked, “Yes, because, by the time those idiots are done saving you, I’ll be a married man.”

~

Logan turned to Virgil “We should get going.” He looked back at Roman and Patton “you two stay here.”

Virgil nodded “We should get some of the power-ups we have stored here, to make the trip faster.” The twins ran out of the room and to their makeshift armory. Roman got up from his spot on the bed. Roman stood up and his eyebrows pressed together.

“We were an afterthought.”

“Roman…” Patton didn’t want the fighting to continue. Even if he felt the same way as Roman. He gripped his chest, his way of trying to physically stop his heart from breaking.

“We were an afterthought Patton, they were just going to leave. And you know it too. I can tell by the way your holding your chest.” Patton didn’t reply, Roman knew him too well.

Roman groaned “These are our heroes, why can’t someone else save her…?”. Patton looked at the door before verbally agreeing with Roman. He didn’t want Logan to know he felt this way, not yet anyway.

Unbeknownst to Patton; Logan and Virgil had already returned and heard what was said. Logan sighed “They’re angry with us, but we really must go. We should fix this now.”  

Virgil nodded “Right and we have to do this delicately.” Virgil walked up to the princes “You know, Valerie was our first rescue, so she kinda deserves it more than you guys.”

Patton once again had to physically restrain Roman.

“Excellent job Virgil,” Logan stated sarcastically.

“Oh like you could do better”

“I can, and will.” Logan went to cup Patton’s face but Patton moved away from the touch, he did not like being spied on.

“Why does it always have to be you? Why can’t you let anyone else do it?” Patton’s voice dripped with venom. He wasn’t angry at Valerie nor was he angry at Logan, he just had so much pent up emotions that were fighting to escape him.

Logan pulled back. The only other time Patton was ever this hostile was when he was possessed by the Shadow Queen. That’s a time Logan never wanted to revisit. He turned around, his eyes dark “Let’s go, Virgil. We’re wasting time.”

“We’re coming with you.”

~

Bowceit walked out of the room, satisfied with himself when he ran into the danger noodles. “Kids? Is something wrong?”

“Is she going to be our new mother?” Roy asked curiously, the other danger noodles nodded to indicate that’s what they all wanted to ask.

Bowceit smiled sympathetically “Sorry kiddos but no, she’s only the bait.”

Wendy perked up “What, you’re doing something different!”

Bowceit pressed his lips together for a moment “Okay, first, rude. And second, I guess so?”

Wendy started to bounce happily “Can we have a new castle?”

Bowceit was taken back “A new castle? Why do you want a new castle?”

Larry nodded “You’re doing something different, therefore we should have a new castle or at least a new theme.”

“This castle’s look is a bit boring anyway,” Iggy commented

“...I clearly spoil you, children, too much. BUT! You have caught my attention. Did you have any ideas in mind?”

“CASINO CASTLE!” They all scream in unison.

“Casino castle?” Bowceit smiled “I like it. MAGIKOOPAS! COME HERE NOW!”  

~

Logan swirled around, clearly frustrated “What did you say?”

Roman’s arms were crossed by his chest was puffed out “I said, we’re coming with you. Patton and I.”

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose “And why do you want to come?”

“As the prince of a country, I don’t have to answer that.” Roman step forward and got in Logan’s face. As much as he could since Logan was the tallest.

Logan glared down at him, frustration taking over. There was so tension in the room that Patton found himself holding his breath.  “No,” Logan uttered simply.

Patton winced, Logan sounded so angry. Roman would not back down, he grabbed Patton’s hand and walked out of the room.

Roman and Patton gave off one emotion each as they walked to Roman’s carriage. Anger and Sadness. Hot and Cold. Two opposites, yet they gave off the same amount of energy. An energy that terrified the people to not even blink at them. Though the Talyn who drove Roman’s carriage had to force themselves to ask where the princes want to go, not questioning why they both said ‘Bowceit’s castle’ simultaneously.

It petrified all. All except the plumber who could control it.

The plumbers jumped into the carriage directly after the princes. The couples sat separately from one another. Roman stared out the window, arms and legs crossed. Virgil, who was sitting across from him, looked down. He wanted to look into Roman’s soft eyes. He didn’t mean to snap. Patton looked directly at Logan, longing for forgiveness that wasn’t needed. Logan’s eyes were shut, he was hoping when he opened them, he would be in bed and the day would reset so he could make up for his mistakes.

Patton and Virgil locked eyes and silently agreed to end this fighting. Patton figured the best approach would be to switch spots. Not because he was planning to throw himself onto Logan, don’t be preposterous. Patton pointed at himself with one hand and Virgil with the other then switch them, hoping that it would convey his thought process. He got a confused look in return. Patton looked around before gesturing to Roman then Virgil. Virgil made an “oh!” face and nodded. Patton sighed of relief, Virgil knew exactly what Patton meant--

“Hey Ro!” Patton facepalmed, Virgil understood nothing.

Roman said nothing, he didn’t even turn. The only motion he made was to lift up his umbrella and pull down a curtain that cut the carriage in half with the handle. Mission failed.

Virgil sighed “Lo, my boyfriend’s mad at me and I don’t know what to do.” Virgil didn’t care who heard him, he just missed Roman. He looked at the unmoving curtain. If the princes were listening, there was no indication. Roman was but he was still staring out the window. He was lost in anger.

Logan shook his head “Roman is acting irrationally and is an overall stubborn person. This will eventually pass and everything will be fine.”

Both Patton and Virgil waited for Roman to stab Logan through. He didn’t. The curtain stayed still. Patton didn’t even have to hold him back. He didn’t move, he didn’t blink, the prince was quiet. The prince was quiet. That wasn’t a good sign.

Virgil began to panic “Great, just great. Roman is now never going to forgive me, I’m going to be banished from his kingdom and lose the best thing that has ever happened to me!” Logan rubbed his back and instructed Virgil to breathe. He didn’t notice though. He was focused on a certain sound. A familiar sound. A pleasant sound. It was faint, nearly a whisper. It was Roman’s singing. Roman sang to help Virgil calm down from a panic attack. Virgil was sure he was just imagining it.

He had no time to find out because the carriage suddenly stopped and sent the princes flying forward.

The sudden weight caused the curtain to rip off the ceiling of the carriage, involuntary catching the princes. Roman immediately sat up and fixed his hair. He then turned to check on Patton. “You good Pat?”

Patton nodded and tried catching his breath “Yes, I landed on something.” Patton patted the ground and his eyes suddenly widen when he felt it was uneven. He jumped back, he knew what he landed on. Logan got up from under the curtain and rubbed his head. He looked over Patton for any injuries but when he came upon Patton’s eyes. They were filled with fear and staring back at them. Was Patton afraid of him? He pulled the hand he had reached out to touch Patton back and looked away. He didn’t want to frighten him more.

Patton’s heart shattered. He made Logan upset. Logan thought he was being irrational in his jealousy, he had only said Roman’s name but Patton knew Logan was talking about him too. He was so scared that he would make Logan hate him. Now he didn’t even want to touch Patton. Patton was crushed.

Roman pulled Virgil up and even fixed his hat. Virgil smiled softly but Roman looked away. He was still angry, he wasn’t going to be the one to apologize again. Roman let out a “Hmph!” and made his way to the door.

Logan grabbed his arm and pulled him towards Patton “Stay. Here.” Logan grabbed Virgil and left before Roman could protest. The now damaged carriage was surrounded by Bowceit’s minions. The twins saw this as an opportunity to get their anger out. The enemies were dealt with very quickly, to say the least.

Roman glared at the shut door, he wasn’t planning on sitting around. He grabbed his umbrella and Patton’s hand and they walked out. He didn’t even have to drag Patton this time. Patton wanted to prove to Logan that he was worthy and to win his love back.

They spoke to the Talyn and informed them to keep the carriage there. The princes instructed Talyn that they should call some other Talyns to help fix the carriage but do not wait for the princes. They were going to finish the journey on foot.

The Sarcastic Bros actually didn’t notice the princes were following them until Roman jumped over Logan to get the flag at the end of the world. For Roman and Virgil, it became a race. A race for Virgil to close the distance between them and Roman to lengthen it. Roman wasn’t ready to talk yet. For Logan and Patton, it was like a game of ‘Hide and Seek’, where Patton did the hiding and Logan did the seeking. Patton wasn’t necessarily trying to hide from Logan, it was just that Patton wanted to show off his strength without any help

Despite all that, they actually made very good progress on getting to Bowceit. It was shocking how well they worked together, even when they were this emotional.

~

A Hammer Bro. sheepishly walked over to Bowceit. Bowceit was being fitted for a silver glitter suit with matching silver top hat. He looked happy. Crap.

“M-Master!”

Bowciet turn to it. “Yes? What is it?”

“Patton…was not in his castle…”  

“What?!” The hammer bro jumped back, brought its hands up as if it was praying.

“W-We check the entire castle. We even attacked the kingdom, but he wasn’t there.”

Bowceit rubbed his temples “So why would you come here instead of going to get Prince Roman?”

The Hammer Bro. bite its lip “W-We did, also nothing.”

Bowceit clenched his teeth. Those plumbers weren’t smart enough to hide the princes, were they? “Find them. Now. I have a wedding chapel and no prince to get married in it!” The Hammer Bro ran off as Bowceit Jr. slithered in.

“Dad! Dad! You’ll never guess what I saw when I was in Ice Zone!” The danger noodle was practically dancing as he spoke.

Bowceit smiled and rubbed his son’s head “What did you see?”

“Mr. Roman and Patton were there! They were fighting and everything!”

Bowceit raised his eyebrows. This certainly was a different day. He sent Bowceit Jr. to join his siblings in the playroom. Bowceit pondered on what to do. If the princes were fighting, then they weren’t as affected by jealousy as Bowceit previously thought. Or maybe they were.

He wanted to find out.

~

Patton was exhausted. He was drained physically and especially emotionally. He wouldn’t stop, Logan was too important to him. Logan took notice of the prince’s slumped shoulder and yawns and forced the group to stop. “We should make camp.”

Everyone looked at him, bewilder. “Camp? Since when do we make camp?” Virgil asked

“Since we have two monarchs with us.” Patton looked down and hugged himself. Logan was frowning. Logan had his back turned to Patton. Logan was angry at him. Patton walked off and sat on a rock. Only Roman seemed to notice.

Logan used the mostly intact curtain and an array of sticks to craft a makeshift tent. “It can fit about two people maybe. Roman, Patton, you two take the tent. Virgil and I will be fine out here.” Logan was facing the tent, hands on his hips. Oblivious to the situation unfolding.

Roman stormed up to him, stared straight into Logan’s eyes and threw his sword into the tent. “Congratulations, you are now one of the only two people to ever make Patton cry. You should be so proud.” Roman walked off but in the opposite direction of Patton.

Logan's stomach flipped as he slowly turned to face Patton’s spot. To his horror, Patton was curled up into a ball, shaking. Logan couldn’t hear him but he knew Patton was crying. Logan slowly walked over and wrapped his arms around Patton. Patton’s head shot up but he otherwise didn’t move. Logan buried his head into Patton’s shoulder and pulled the prince close. Patton action turned Patton into butter.

“I’m so sorry for upsetting you, my love. The thought of you crying makes my mind go dark but to be the cause of it, there’s no greater crime. Getting your cold shoulder worse than frostbite. Your scorn is worse than the heat of any star. To earn your wrath, I must have done some heinous. I don’t know what I did to make you angry but I apologize for it. I hope you will forgive me.” Logan said softly, muffled by the prince’s garment. That didn’t make them any less perfect. It was exactly what Patton needed to hear. He only had one question.

“Oh, Lo…who said I was mad at you? I thought you were mad at me!” Patton exclaimed

Logan picked his head up, looking into Patton’s eyes to see if he’s joking “Darling, why on Earth would I ever be mad at you?”

Patton looked down, fixating his gaze on Logan’s lips. “It didn’t seem like you wanted me here or around, generally…”

Logan frowned “Patton, the day I don’t want you around is the day I’m dying so I won’t see you mourn.”

Patton bit his lip doubtfully “It didn’t seem like it, especially after Valerie arrived. You looked so happy spending time with her and you never asked me to come, so what was I supposed to think? You never told me she even existed!”

Logan cupped Patton’s face. “Patton-cake, were you jealous?” Patton nodded and moved closer to Logan. Logan smiled softly. “Oh my love, I’m sorry you felt that way. You have nothing to fear though, my love for you is unending. I apologize for not asking you to come, I didn’t want to distract you from your work.” The kiss they shared was as magical as their first one.

Once they pulled away, Patton yawned. Logan kissed his head and smiled “Get some rest love, you need it.”

Patton nodded and kissed Logan’s cheek. He walked into the tent as Logan used the spot Patton was occupying to sketch the stars. Patton climbed into the tent carefully to avoid knocking over what Logan had made for him.

He noticed that on top of Roman’s sword, there was a small ball shaped object on it. Knowing how much Roman cared about his sword, Patton flicked it away. Suddenly it started to let out a gas that was trapped inside it. Patton felt his eyelids become heavy and he passed out almost instantly.

For a few seconds, there seemed to be no explanation to what had happened to the prince. That is until two Buzzy Beetles crawled into the tent and shoved themselves between Patton and the ground. They slowly carried Patton out of the tent, making sure to go unnoticed. It was slow and painful for the minions, one wrong mistake and Logan would be crushing them. As soon as Patton was inches away from the Flying Koopas, they picked him up and flew away as quickly as they could.

Once again, Logan didn’t notice.

~

Virgil watched Logan embrace Patton for a few moments, he was proud of his brother. He turned and gulped, ready to face Roman. He planned on doing the same as his brother since it seemed to work.

Keyword being planned to.

Once he got a few feet from Roman, the prince turned his head sharply. Roman was wearing a glare. It was enough to make Virgil raise his hands and slowly back away.

Roman turned his head back “I thought you were Logan…”

Virgil sighed of relief “Sorry to disappoint you.”

Roman looked up at the stars. “Not disappointed”

Virgil stepped closer “Then what?”

“Frustrated, angry, a little bit sad.” Roman slowly turn to face Virgil.

“But why?” Virgil took another step towards Roman.

Roman frowned “You left.” Roman stood up “You left and didn’t tell me you were leaving.” Both Roman and Virgil took a step forward. “You did all that to spend time with someone who you are very close to. Someone you’ve never told me about.” Roman took another step forward.

A million sentences ran Virgil’s head. A million apologizes. A million ‘I love you’s. A million explanations. A million cynical remarks. A million jokes.

But all that could come out was: “You’re jealous.”

Roman rolled his eyes. He couldn’t tell if that was a statement or question but he was too stubborn to ask. The couple turned their backs to one another. Roman slumped his shoulders, he really didn’t want to keep fighting, but he couldn't’. It was his nature to just fight, fight, fight until the bitter end. It was who he was. It was who he had to be.

Virgil rubbed his arm absently, that didn’t work. He needed to choose his words carefully. He took a deep breath before he spoke. “Roman, you always get jealous…with other guys…and I…can’t take it anymore.” Roman whipped around, ready to plead with Virgil when a hammer hit him directly in the back of the head and rendered him unconscious. Before Roman could hit the ground, a Magikoopa used its magic to not only muffle the sound of the hammer but also to catch Roman. Virgil didn’t turn, he was working on what to say next. “I can’t take seeing you sad and suffering. I want to fix it, I want to help you.” Virgil smiled “So what do you say?” Virgil turned to see nothing.

Roman was gone.

Virgil sucked in his breath. Had Roman left before he finished? Did Roman think he was mad at him? Did Roman misinterpret what he said? Did Roman not want to accept his apology? Had he pushed Roman to run away?

Virgil ran to the camp, frantic. “Logan! I fucked up!”

Logan arched an eyebrow. “In what way?”

Virgil paced back and forth as he spoke “I was trying to make up with Roman and now he’s gone and I think he’s mad and now I don’t know what to do and now you’re giving me a look and…” Virgil began to pant, he had run out of words and energy.

Logan pulled him into a hug and rubbed gentle circles into his back. “Breathe Virgil. Remember, 4-7-8.” Virgil nodded and eventually calmed down. Logan gave him a small smile “Let’s wake Patton and find Roman, okay?”

Virgil smiled and nodded, he liked the sound of that. Logan poked his head into the tent slowly so he wouldn’t startle Patton. He frowned when he saw nothing but Roman’s sword. “That’s odd.”

Virgil tilted he head “What’s wrong?”

Logan stood up straight and pulled out Roman’s sword “Patton is missing as well.”

Virgil sighed of relief “Oh thank god. He’s not mad at me, just kidnapped.” It took a moment before Virgil processed his own words “Oh crap, Roman’s been kidnapped.”

Logan groaned “Most likely along with Patton. Wonderful, now we have three people to worry about.”

Virgil began to hyperventilate “Make that four.”

~

“...Ro…Rom...Roman!” Roman’s head jerk forward suddenly, a big mistake as it worsen the splitting headache he had he had. Roman attempted to get up and groaned when he found himself chained. Not this again…

Patton felt the relief wash over when he felt Roman stir behind him. He was shocked when he awoke to see he was no longer in his tent and it only grew worse as he slowly realized what had happened. He just hoped no one was hurt.

Roman wanted to ask Patton if he was alright, but the words died as the reached his tongue. Roman’s head was still blaring, but not from the injury. The argument with Virgil kept playing over and over, make Roman sick to his stomach. The guilt consumed Roman. He had truly screwed up, and there was nothing he could do about it now. Patton

Suddenly, spotlights turn on, blinding Patton and Roman. They now could see that they were chained to the wheelhead of a gigantic roulette wheel. The pockets were pink and orange, the princes could only imagine what it meant. Looking up at the balcony, they could Valerie trapped in large prize ball, looking terrified. Bowceit stood beside her, in his shiny silver sequin suit and holding a cane.

Roman burst out laughing “HAHAHA!! YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS!!”

Bowceit groaned “Oh great, Roman’s awake. Wonderful. Just what I needed.”

Roman smiled proudly “I live to serve.”  That made Patton giggle.

Bowceit groaned and did something so extra, it even impressed Roman. He climbed off his balcony, climbed into the roulette wheel, and climbed up the wheelhead, all to slap Roman across the face.

Bowceit walked back to his spot, his wicked smile returning. “Now I’ve heard from a little birdy that you two think I’m not very fair.”

Roman narrowed his eyes “No you didn’t. You heard it from us, to your face, said among other things.”

“Roman, I swear to god, I will slap you again.”

Roman smirked “By all means, do it. Take your time even.”

“I’m not falling for that again.” Bowceit mumbled

Roman leaned forward “What was that?”

Bowceit groaned but took a deep breath, ignoring Roman to continue his speech. “Well, I want to let you both know that I am going to fix this. Instead of me picking who I marry, this handy-dandy roulette wheel will.” Photos of the princes appeared on screens behind the pockets. “And to show just how good I can be, I’ll let Valerie go with the prince who isn’t picked. Now, isn’t that just so nice of me?”

All three hostages voted no.

“WELL I DON’T CARE, LET’S START!” Bowceit pulled a lever and a large white ball appeared. There was a pause as a giant plunger,  a thing you would normally find on a pinball machine, pulled back like on a pinball machine and sent the ball flying, round and round the roulette wheel.

Roman began working his way out of the chains, noticing what a sloppy job Bowceit had done this time. As Roman pulled his leg up to stand, he noticed that his photo slowly turned into Patton’s. Roman immediately sat back down and the picture turned back to Roman.

Patton’s eyes widen “Ro, did you see that?”

“Yup…”

Patton bit his lip “What should we do?”

Roman looked up, the ball was getting closer and closer to the pockets by the second, they needed to act quickly. “I have an idea pat. On three, we get up at the same time.”

“Got it.”

“One, two, three.” the princes both hopped up, keeping the same weight on the sensors. Per Roman’s instructions, they managed to get themselves out of the chains, each movement perfectly timed to be done at the same time. However, there was one more challenge, Bowceit had them chained  on a small platform attached near the top of the wheelhead, it was very high up. The ladder was small enough for only one of them to go down, meaning whoever went first was dooming the other. Not to mention Patton was terrified of heights and didn’t seem to be moving now.

The ball was very close to the pockets now, they were trapped.

Virgil wants to break up with you because of how jealous you get. He never told you about this important person in his life. Does he really love you? Roman shook his head, he wasn’t going to let his panic thoughts takeover now.

Patton began to hyperventilate, he had no idea how they were going to escape now.

An idea popped into Roman’s head and he gulped. He turned his head to Patton “Patton?”

“Yeah Ro?”

“Forgive me”

“Why would I--” Patton was cut off by his own screaming. Roman kicked him off the ledge and sent him flying to the ground. Once Patton was in the air, Roman immediately jumped off the ledge. He hope that because neither man was on a sensor, the pictures would go back to blank.

Roman’s plan almost worked.

The only problem was that he waited a second to make sure Patton was off the ledge, that secure his picture on every pocket. It didn’t matter that he jumped, it didn’t matter that he was currently climbing out of the roulette wheel with Patton.

The ball landed on a pocket with his picture. He was chosen to be Bowceit’s husband.

Bowceit’s booming voice sent a shiver down his spine “Congratulations Roman! You are tonight’s winner!” A claw suddenly grabbed Roman and dragged him to Bowceit. Patton grabbed Roman’s hand and tried to pull him away but it was no use. Patton went tumbling backwards and Roman was struggling against Bowceit’s grip. Bowceit Jr. used his tail to press a button and the ball that held Valerie went tumbling towards Patton. It open once it was right in front of the prince and open. Patton quickly helped her out of it.

Bowceit chuckled “It has been a pleasure playing with you but we must be going!” Bowceit paused and exchanged a smirk with  “Oh what the heck, one more game.” Wendy pulled a level and the roulette wheel disappeared. Suddenly, three walls appeared around Patton and Valerie. The walls got close enough that the prince and the mayor were touching shoulders. The walls began to move and pushed them towards the edge. Patton ran to the edge to see what their doom was only to jump back.

Apparently Bowceit decided that they would be trapped on a mechanical floating island, high above the ground.

Patton pressed his back against the wall, panic swelling up in him again. This was his worst nightmare come true.

~

Bowceit dragged Roman to the chapel, Roman noticed that it definitely had been moved. Bowceit placed him in the back of the church where there were chains waited for Roman.

Roman rolled his eyes ‘You sure had everything planned out, didn’t you?”

Bowceit laughed “Of course I did! I had a partner. Lady Luck was the integral part to my plan.”

Roman raised an eyebrow “And what does that mean?”

Bowceit locked the chains around Roman’s limbs “You see, I was expecting you to escape as quickly as possible and Patton would be chosen. But, I should have expected that you would sacrifice yourself. It was a 50/50 chance really.”

Roman was shocked “Y-You really didn’t know…?” Bowceit smirked “It’s called a gamble my dear.” Bowceit ran to the front, extending Roman’s chains so that they reached the other end of the chapel. He pulled out a pair of dice “I lied before, this is the final game.”

~

Logan and Virgil arrived at Bowceit’s castle as there was only about three feet of flooring under Patton and Valerie.

Logan was horrified “PATTON! VALERIE!”

“LOGAN! VIRGIL!”

“YOU TWO ARE GOING TO HAVE TO JUMP!”

Patton shook his head “Jump?! Are you crazy?!” There was two feet left when Patton patted his his sides out of nervousness. It was then he felt his umbrella was, after everything that happened, still attached to belt. Feeling it in his hands, his confidence returned. Opening it, Patton took Valerie’s hand and jumped. The umbrella caused them to float down slowly. Patton locked eyes with Logan and suddenly got an absolutely crazy idea in him mind.

Patton spoke softly “Valerie, could you please take the umbrella?”

Valerie nodded. Once she got one hand securely on the umbrella, Patton let go entirely. He found himself smiling. He wasn’t scared, he was excited. Within seconds, he was safely in Logan’s arms, like he knew he would land.

Logan pressed his forehead against Patton and whispered “That was crazy.”

Patton giggled “people do crazy things when they’re in love.”

Logan gently placed Patton on his own two feet. “I hope this means we are, as the kids say, ‘officially gucci’?”

Patton laughed and kissed Logan’s cheek. “Of course.”

Virgil made sure Valerie was securely on the ground before running around, looking for Roman. Patton moved away from logan and spoke sadly ‘Roman was taken by Bowceit.”

Virgil paused his pacing. ‘What direction?”

Patton pointed to the balcony and that was all Virgil needed. He used the flying Koopas as makeshift stairs that lead him straight to the chapel.

Logan found a hiding spot for Patton and Valerie before following Virgil. Patton and Valerie only had to exchange a look before they ran after the brothers to help them save Roman.

~

Roman was truly in hell. Bowceit didn’t even let him go down the aisle on his own accord. With each roll of the dice, Roman was pulled forcefully towards the altar, the chains digging into his wrists. It took Bowceit rolling an 11, a 15 and a 5 to get him to the altar. Clearly the dices had been rigged.

The Koopa who was being the priest began to speak. “Dearly beloveds, we are gathered today in the presence of these witnesses to join this king and this prince in Holy Matrimony. If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Both Bowceit and Roman looked at the door. They waited a few moments but nothing happened.

Bowceit threw his head back in joy “Ha! Looks like your little hero isn’t coming! Looks like he really like that girl more than you.”

Roman growled but looked down, he wasn’t going to allow himself to be tricked by Bowceit’s words once again. Though, he couldn’t just ignore than aching feeling in his chest. It was so loud, he could barely hear what the Koopa was saying.

“And now for the rings.”

Virgil kicked open the chapel down “RING, RING! GET AWAY FROM MY MAN BITCH!”

Roman sighed happily, hearts practically forming around him as he cupped his own face. Bowceit rolled his eyes “THAT DIDN’T EVEN RHYME!”

Needless to say, the fight ended just as Valerie and Patton appeared at the chapel.

Virgil undid the chains and looked at Roman, slightly unsure of what to say or do. “A-Are you okay?” Roman responding by tackling Virgil and kissing him passionately repeatedly.

~

Once Roman released Virgil from the onslaught of kisses and apologizes, Valerie embraced the princes.

“I’m so glad you two are alright, I can’t believe you guys go through that on the weekly.”

The princes happily hugged her back. “It’s nothing, we’re sorry you got dragged into it.” Roman spoke confidently.

Patton nodded “And if it’s any consolation, we would like to spend some time with you, to get to know you truly.”

Valerie wrapped her arms around each of their shoulders “I would love that. In fact, I have plenty of embarrassing stories to tell you two about your heroes.”

Patton and Roman exchanged smirks much to their boyfriends’ dismay. She truly was a keeper.

~

Tag list:

@corkeecoderyt @Per-seph-o-nee @Ohshrekmyheck @3milystuff  @Asymmetricalgarbage8888   @fairytailtwists  @sanders-sides-rebloger  @sanderssidesfluffyangst  @unikornavenger @0callmevirge0 @gloomingwitch @roxiefox24 @ijustreallylovesanderssides @unisaurioamorfo

[peachbowserandastrapon]

smash ultimate sesual headcanons (very dirty seriously don’t read if you’re a baby)

cloud is too busy to have sex but he’s probably into some weird-level shit like knifeplay or something

snake has a gear fetish

bowser is 99% dom top, but very subby in the event he does get fucked. would unintentionally be into k rool but they have bad chemistry they have to work thru first, and finds dedede super cute but won’t admit it. he’ll also happily stomp on any foot lover he meets. the only guy who gets to regularly top him is midbus imo so bowser’s thankful the pig’s not in smash so he can keep his tough guy cred looking strong. 

giga bowser only tops and will likely kill you accidentally in the process but it was probably worth it

incineroar is dom top but i could see him powerbottoming maybe from time to time. biiiiiig bromance with k rool. has a wrestling fetish - you can’t just fuck, you need to fight first. his finishing move is sitting on his opponent’s face. reeeeeeeally wants you to sniff his pits.

captain falcon is obviously into fisting

wolf is obviously a switch and into many things, wears different colored bandannas (look up gay handkerchief code) for whatever his mood is that night. dom as hell whether topping or bottoming. expects you to deepthroat him like right off the bat. has a ton of kinks... going off his bandannas you could say he’s into dildos, nipple play, armpits, fisting and pee and don’t tell me he doesn’t know about the handkerchief code seriously just look at his outfit and tell me he ain’t the gayest guy in space

fox leans way more to bottoming and subbing, he'll only top someone like falco maybe (and not in a dommy way at all). and he's clearly in love with wolf anyway and doesn't really wanna fuck anyone else. would happily let wolf put a leash on him but would act persnickety about the whole thing just to make wolf annoyed and more aggressive

falco talks big but he's a huge sub and would only want to top for bragging rights or something i imagine. so tsundere that it's a running joke with the rest of the starfox cast. i can't remember if he has an ascot too... but i could imagine maybe wolf does it for gay coding but the other two just do it cuz they think it looks cool and maybe don't know what they mean. also idk if falco would have a dick since he’s a bird

lucario is obviously 100% bottom considering his aura mechanic is all about taking a beating.

mario, luigi and peach all want bowser. daisy secretly wants wart from subcon but since she doesn’t see him that often she will settle for luigi, where she's the one calling the shots

adult yoshis would definitely enjoy a night with bowser if they were sexual but they're pretty asexual in general

greninja loves being cloaca fucked by bigger brutish types more than anything

the fire emblem cast all have sex with grave seriousness and they participate in small-scale eugenics projects to try to keep the blue haired gene alive

meta knight is a very considerate and skilled lover but no one wants to fuck him because he's a small blob. gives the best ____lingus in the world but few will ever know

kirby doesn't fucc

i don’t want to think of isabelle fuccing and she’s too busy living a full life to bother imo

villager is celibate but super into furries in an sfw way

olimar always wondered what having sex with a pikmin would be like but he knows it's wrong so he won't try it

wii fit trainer likes bending into different positions, and is not dominative on purpose but just seems intimidating so everyone just lets them do whatever

dr mario has a fetish for giving prostate exams and anal pills. always wears a condom. he never removes the gloves except when showering

mewtwo will use shadow magic to jack your dick/clit off

little mac hooks up with wii fit trainer after a stretching routine

ridley is 100% top but likes ass play like rimming as long as he's not penetrated. his idea of foreplay is killing your parents tho so be careful

donkey kong is a switch top/bottom dom/sub, honestly really just depends on who wins the dominance battle as is the law of the jungle. bad at kissing but can be taught. very experimental and wild style of fucking. will let you sniff his pits but he won’t really get it. wants to touch k rool’s belly but doesn’t know why

bayonetta is a dominatrix, obviously

anyone who tried to go up into rosalina's galaxy within her skirt was never seen again

ganondorf is 100% brutal top and so is ganon, you're going to be in pain in some way if you're under him

dedede loves bigger badder guys than him who will push him around and tease him, 100% bottom sub and wants bowser and k rool to tag team him with lots of demeaning dirty talk. drools while eating. dream land is so cutesy and pure that he’s come to fantasize about the darker types of characters elsewhere. thinks it’s wrong and messed up to be a king and have such fantasies, but can’t stop himself. wants k rool to smack him again. will act like a jackass just to incite others to bully him. 

rob likes the idea of getting people off but no one thinks to ask him about sexuality

k rool is a switch and a complete wildcard. you never know what you’re gonna get, considering he has so many personas. he also knows people are obsessed with his belly and he’s just as into it as you. he’ll even remove the gold armor for a softer experience. wants bowser to stomp on him. also wants to stomp on bowser. hates eating bananas but likes having them shoved into his body. probably has a ton of different kinky outfits in his closet. but he's really only obsessed with dk and wants to dom him. would also do it with funky and chunky kong but not be into it as much and would make them pretend to be donkey instead. has pictures of dk in his room. he and dk are at a constant battle of dominance and wits imo, like two looney tunes characters except trying to dom fuck instead of blow each other up. uses bananas and coconuts as subtext and wonders why nobody picks up on it

dracula gets overwhelmingly horny when he’s in his demon form for some reason

and charizard? obviously dom top but secretly likes to bottom sometimes, is sad because no one is brave enough to even ask to top him.

simon and richter just missionary under the blankets with the lights off usually.

ken loves his wife but she’ll let him jack off incineroar sometimes if she gets to watch

the other adult characters strike me as pretty vanilla except maybe wario is into farts or something

[onisionhurtspeople]

The Spiral of Narcissistic Abuse: Onision Edition

I originally wrote this post in April 2017, but in the year and a half since it’s been published, there have been literally dozens of new victims targeted by Greg (Onision) and his wife Lainey (Laineybot) that I felt were severe enough to warrant inclusion; and so here I am to re-write this post to include this new information. 

1. “Love Bombing”: Display of excessive attention and professions of deep love. “Soul mate.”

Love bombing is the practice of overwhelming a person in a new relationship with signs of adoration and attraction in the form of gifts, compliments, meaningful gestures, discussions revolving around long-term future plans (marriage, children, vacations, etc), and professions of true love. The difference between love bombing and genuine love is that real love is earned over time through intimacy, trust, and consistency, whereas love bombing creates artificial feelings of intimacy that have not yet been earned. 

Greg routinely engages in love-bombing when it comes to either a) trying to lure in new victims, or b) making attempts to reel in previous victims (such as exes), or current victims who are becoming disillusioned with him and beginning to pull away. In 2015, after Greg had convinced his wife Lainey to “explore her bisexuality” by getting a girlfriend, she had settled on an 18-year-old YouTube personality and makeup guru named Billie, and flew her down to their house for a visit. What Greg neglected to tell Lainey was that he had ulterior motives for pushing her to get a girlfriend, and this was because he wanted to convince Lainey and whoever her girlfriend was to enter a three-way, polyamorous triad with him. While Billie was there, in an attempt to draw her in, Greg showered her with gifts, compliments, and an excessive amount of attention and admiration; according to him, he paid her $1800 a month to manage his social media accounts, spent thousands of dollars buying her gifts of makeup and clothing, and his videos were full of glowing compliments towards Billie. 

He tweeted this at Billie after she managed to “fix” a broken camera lens by throwing it on the ground. He screams at his own children just for losing at Mario Kart, could you imagine Onision having this reaction to anybody else treating his expensive equipment that way?

Every time he and Lainey broke up with Billie (usually because she refused to go along with their bizarrely strict and controlling expectations for her behavioral conduct, such as having to ask their permission before smoking weed - and yes, you read that correctly; the problem was not that she was smoking weed because it was illegal (as Greg and Lainey had originally claimed), the problem was that she didn’t ask their permission before doing it), Greg would begin to reel Lainey back in by trying to love bomb her again. This comment was made just two days after he’d cheated on Lainey with Billie, while she was pregnant with their second child:

…and every time they get back together, he begins love bombing Billie again, and ignoring Lainey. He is careful not to do this overtly on Twitter or Instagram like he does with Lainey, but during this time, he expends much more effort into communicating with Billie over Twitter and in videos than he does with Lainey. He is also very clearly more physically affectionate towards Billie in videos where the three of them appear together than he is with his own wife.

(And maybe this is just my unprofessional opinion, but the manner in which he compliments Lainey rings much more hollow and inauthentic to me than the compliments he used to give to Billie. It comes off as very rote and robotic, not genuine or sincere.) 

2.  Over-protection and isolation in the name of love. “We only need each other.”

One of the most common tactics that abusers use to control their victims is by isolating them from friends and family. They do this so that it’s harder for them to escape or see the truth of what’s happening to them. This behavior is manifested in ways such as convincing the victim to stay at home and not have a job, by controlling all of the money that flows through the household (including the victim’s money, if they DO have a job), and by slowly convincing the victim to stop talking to their friends and family members, because the narcissist “doesn’t think they’re good for [them]”. Without a sense of perspective or anybody from whom to gain a third-party point of view, it’s extremely difficult for the victim to objectively analyze the severity of the situation. 

Throughout the history of his relationships, Greg follows this pattern with all of his partners to the tee. He makes repeated attempts to convince Billie to stop flying home to spend time with her friends and family members, who she is extremely close with.

Unbelievably, he attempts to manipulate her by bragging about how he’d already managed to successfully convince Lainey to not visit her own family more than once a year. In a livestream, Lainey once admitted that earlier this month (October 2018) was the first time she’s attended a family funeral in over five years, because Greg wouldn’t give her permission to go to any of the other ones. He also frequently attacks Lainey’s family on social media, as well as diminishing them in Lainey’s eyes by making his disapproval of them quite clear:

This is what he said about Lainey’s sister:

He especially does this to Lainey’s father, who saw through Greg from the very beginning, and desperately tried to stop his 17-year-old daughter from marrying him:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sAjnkASwOo

He also did this with Skye while they were still married, restricting her from seeing anybody but members of his own family, and members of her family that he approved of (which was basically just her younger sister, a 15-year-old girl who Greg admitted to fantasizing about having sex with, including (more than once) accidentally moaning her name while being intimate with Skye). A quote from his website at the time:

January 24th, 2007

Alright, so it has been a few days since Skye and I hung out with another couple… judging from the fact that these people were the only ones we knew that had a lifestyle that wasn’t drugged out, beered out (also known as drugged out), smoked out, ethically lacking, rude etc. and we can’t even enjoy ourselves around them as much as we do each other… I just really don’t see myself and Skye spending time with anyone in the future other than family…

It seems that everyone who isn’t blood related has something extremely wrong with them… it may not be apparent at first, like a used car, but when you get on the road with them, and get to know them, the clanks and pings begin to show, maybe not after the first few miles, but definitely after the second or third ride.

(Source)

This isolation of Skye got so bad that eventually, two of their friends actually tried to convince her to leave Greg:

January 27th, 2007

I was going to post something extremely long about how upset I am with two people I know, within my personal life - who are continuously trying to break my wife and I apart psychically and vocally… but I’m not going to as I believe it can only cause a greater level of drama, which is exactly what they feed on.

In fact, they probably know I’m talking about them right now, and are dialing my number just to tell me/others how wrong I am for my wife, and somehow by saying I love her every hour of the day, feeding her full of yummy food, trying to make her happy emotionally/other ways, putting a roof over her head, that in result of that I’m a bad husband.

(Source)

A former classmate of Greg, who had gone to high school with both he and Skye, also gave an interview with someguy827, in which he detailed his observations of Greg slowly but surely isolating Skye from all of her friends and family members:

You can read the interview here. (Source)

And read the comment that he made on lolcow here. (Source)

3. Power gained by social isolation and artificially inflated self-esteem. “I feel like a better person with I am with them.”

Greg has claimed this about every single one of his exes. I can’t track down photographic examples of him claiming this about all of them never mind, I managed to find examples of him saying this to at least three different women. Here’s an example of when he said it to ex-girlfriend Adrienne:

Keep in mind that they had been dating for a grand total of two weeks when he made the claim to her that she had helped him grow into a better person in the short amount of time they’d been together. 

He made the same claim about a high school girlfriend, Tanya, whom - again - he had known for only a couple of weeks; and they were not even officially dating when he said this to her:

Here is another example of him saying this about his first wife, Skye - again, only weeks into their relationship. The journal entry this screenshot was lifted from is much longer and I was having trouble pasting it into the body of this text in a way that was readable, so here’s a very short, cropped version of what he said. You can find the source for this quote here. (Source)

At the end of his relationship with Adrienne - while they were in the process of breaking up - he called her repeatedly while she was at work, leaving her over a dozen voicemails in less than a day. During this time, Adrienne managed to get in touch with Shiloh, another of Greg’s exes, to compare notes about the similarities in their relationship. When Shiloh listened to the voicemails that Greg had sent to Adrienne, she posted this comment on Facebook:

He had been telling the two women, only hours apart from each other, about how special and meaningful they were to him. The saddest thing about this is that at the same time, he was also calling Skye; and this exchange between himself, Shiloh, and Adrienne occurred only days before he started talking to Lainey. 

4. Creation of a feeling of dependency; induction of fear of the loss of relationship.

One of the ways that Greg likes to induce feelings of psychological dependence on him is through a tactic called “manipulation break-ups”. The phenomenon is explained here by dwayners13:

One of the most common tactics used by manipulative & emotionally abusive individuals is the ‘manipulation breakup’. This is simply when a person repeatedly breaks up with their partner, not because they truly want to end their relationship, but rather to gain power & control over their partner & the relationship in general. There are a variety of issues & events that can cause a manipulation breakup (far too many to list here), but it can range from their partner doing something they don’t like/approve of to the emotionally abusive person being confronted on their abusive/manipulative behavior (by their partner &/or their partner’s family/friends). [...]  Instead of taking the time to discuss or even arguing about the issue in an attempt to resolve it, the person will just break up with them, knowing that their partner doesn’t want to break up. They will then refuse to speak with them about the issue (& the relationship in general), essentially shunning or ignoring their attempts. This can include ignoring phone calls, text messages, VMs etc.., If the couple live together, they will simply refuse to speak with their partner (aka the silent treatment). Their intention is to make it seem like the relationship is over, so that the person will practically beg & plead with their partner & be willing to agree to anything in order to get back together.

(Source)

Greg and Lainey both admitted to him doing this multiple times throughout their relationship; and still, to this day, they admit that he attempts to break up with her every single time they argue, even though they’re married and have been for over seven years. It is extremely abnormal for a 34-year-old father of two who has been married for seven years to threaten to “break up” with his wife every time they get into an argument. These attempts at manipulation on Greg’s part terrify Lainey so much that she readily complies with whatever he wants in order to convince him not to leave her. This pattern could not be more apparent than how this manipulation tactic played out in their relationship with Billie. 

During the time when Greg and Lainey were in a polyamorous relationship with Billie, Lainey expressed repeated discomfort about Greg and Billie spending so much time together while she was excluded by having to spend so much time cooking, cleaning, looking after their their son (she was pregnant with their daughter at the time), and managing their household (which we now know, thanks to Maya, that Greg does not help out with at all, meaning that Lainey spent the vast majority of her day doing these things while Greg and Billie were in another room playing games, making videos, and hanging out). She felt that Billie was only there for Greg, and was not comfortable with them being sexually intimate together, even when it was all three of them together. After a while of this - despite Lainey’s continued discomfort, disapproval, and lack of consent (which is vital for any healthy, functioning polyamorous triad) - Greg told Lainey that there would be more more boundaries, no more jealousy, and that he and Billie were going to do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted; and that if Lainey didn’t like it, then he was going to divorce her. 

Naturally, terrified of losing her husband, her family, her home, her source of income, and the only lifestyle that she’d ever known - with a three-year-old in tow, and pregnant with their second child - Lainey felt forced to remain in the three-way relationship that she didn’t even want to begin with. 

A quote from his video, “Onision’s Break Up Story”:

“I told my wife that there would be no more rules in the relationship. That there would be no more boundaries, no more jealousy, and that I would do what I want.”

(Source)

After this quote, Greg goes on to explain that he reassured his wife that he had no intention of leaving her; however, how could Lainey believe this, when just a few months before he had attempted to leave her for Billie, which only didn’t end up happening because Billie told him that she didn’t feel right about it? When he had threatened to leave her so many times before over much smaller and less significant things? He goes on to say this:

“Regardless, it is important to note that Billie did tell me that she thought Lainey might be upset if she and I slept together, but every time she indicated she was worried, I would remind her of the conversation I had with Lainey where I repeatedly told her there would be no more boundaries, we would all have balanced relationships, and that there would be no jealousy.” 

This is an ultimatum. The reason why Lainey went to Billie to ask her not to sleep with Greg is because she already knew that he would shut her down if she tried. Ask yourself this question: for what reason would a woman feel more comfortable asking other women not to sleep with her husband, instead of just going straight to the source and simply asking her husband not to sleep with other women instead? The answer is that it’s because she already knew that he would say no and try to divorce her if she kept bringing it up. It is not unreasonable for Lainey to believe Greg capable of doing this, considering that he has admitted in the past to leaving one woman for another (when he left Skye for Shiloh in 2011):

Greg doesn’t just do this to Lainey, however; he has done this, to my knowledge, with every other woman he’s ever dated. The following is a screenshot of a portion of the letter written by Adrienne - the 26-year-old that Greg dated for three weeks just before he met Lainey - describing how Greg attempted to manipulate her through making her fear the loss of the relationship:

Later on in the same letter:

The entirety of the letter written by Adrienne can be read here. If you’re interested in understanding how Greg’s mind works, I highly recommend reading it - it is extremely insightful, analytical, and well-written. 

5. Restrictive control of resources and activities enforced by induction of guilt, or fear of anger.

It’s no secret that Greg attempts to restrict the activities that his girlfriends are allowed to participate in. This ranges from the aforementioned control over how often they’re allowed to visit their families, to whether or not they’re allowed to have a job (a tactic reported by several of his exes and by Greg himself), to how often they’re allowed to go out with their friends, and even to what they are and are not allowed to eat.

In the following screenshot, a blog post by Shiloh months after they’d broken up, she details how he not only manipulated her into cutting off contact with her friends and family back home, but also convinced her to put her music career on hold so that they could be together all the time:

(You can read the full post here.)

He also talked Skye into quitting her job once he began making enough money off YouTube, with the reasoning that couples should be spending at least 50% of their time together. (I’m having trouble finding the screenshot for this, but it’s out there somewhere - I’ve seen it before.) Here is a similar screenshot, however:

He would also become extremely angry with Adrienne when she wanted to go out with her friends…

...and tried to manipulate her into quitting her job, moving in with him, and depending entirely on him as her source of income, all within three weeks of meeting her. 

6. Gaslighting causes victim to doubt what they see or hear. Inability to trust own thoughts and reasoning.

When Lainey first broke up with Greg and was considering divorce after he cheated on her with Billie, she admitted that she had never even wanted a girlfriend to begin with, and that it had been Greg who was pressuring her into it…

…but later, when Lainey recounted her side of the story in a response video to the one that Billie released, she adamantly maintained that it was she who had wanted to experiment with her bisexuality - evidence that Greg had been gaslighting her into believing that he was not at fault, yet again, and that it was Lainey who had desired to keep bringing back Billie over and over again. The tweet posted in first part of this screenshot was taken only six months after the tweet in the second part:

In addition - despite having told Lainey that it was his decision to sleep with Billie, and despite having literally admitted in a video that he published on YouTube to Billie having repeatedly brought up her discomfort with going behind Lainey’s back in order to be intimate with Greg - he still managed to convince Lainey to doubt her own perceptions enough to the point where she now, to this day - over two years later - still considers Billie to be the homewrecker, and that it was Billie who cheated on her with Greg, not Greg who cheated on her with Billie. That is how manipulative he is. 

During one of the periods in time when Greg and Lainey had broken up with Billie yet again, Lainey began talking to a new girl named Hailey (known online as Luxymoo). At first, Hailey believed that her relationship with Lainey would be exclusive; but after Greg informed her that the relationship would actually be an open polyamorous one, she realized that she was uncomfortable with the arrangement and decided to pull out. Despite the fact that she had every right to choose not to go through with it, Greg then attempted to gaslight her and invalidate her feelings:

After that I started doing research on what it meant to be in a three way relationship, I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t for me. Which killed me, because all I wanted to do was be with Lainey. I wanted to try for them, but at the end of the day, I had to consider my personal feelings on the matter. I knew I couldn’t be what they wanted, because I wanted Lainey.

I told Lainey as soon as I came to that conclusion. I wanted to be honest. I didn’t want to drag it out. Lainey didn’t respond to me.. but Greg did. He said that if he were in my position, he would do whatever it takes to be with Lainey. He said that I didn’t really care about Lainey, that all I was looking for was friendship. He said that he thought my mind was broken. He said he thought I may be sexually dormant. He then would say that he thinks i’m a good person and that i’m the safer alternative. He called me a good distraction.

He wanted me to still come up. But that was a fleeting thought. He said friendship would be hard, and that I was doing everything I could to avoid a relationship with Lainey. Then he pitched the idea of me being with Lainey exclusively, while he’s with Lainey exclusively. Like we wouldn’t be doing sexual things together. I still declined because 1. he had spent so much time invalidating MY feelings on the matter, attacking my personality, pressuring me, etc. and 2. I also knew that that wasn’t what they wanted, and I told him that we would still hit that road block of me wanting exclusiveness. He had said in a previous conversation that it was like him and Lainey were on an island and I had a boat, but I wouldn’t throw them a life line because I wasn’t the right boat.

(The full conversation and screenshot can be seen here.)

He also tried to use this tactic on Maya - a girl who dated Lainey very briefly in late 2017 - in an attempt to preemptively gaslight her and discredit her, should she choose to come forward with her story about what he did to her:

Which he did, in fact, try to do later on, by attempting to accuse Maya of being a “homewrecker” for “wiggling while she was sitting on his lap” (despite not mentioning that he was the one who had placed her there, which she did not consent to, and only went along with because she felt so uncomfortable). The posts detailing her full account can be found here and here. 

7. Increased emotional and psychological dependence of victim on abuser.

Greg has already succeeded in doing this with Lainey and many other girlfriends in the past, and has attempted to do this to several more. When married to Skye, Greg insisted that she not have a job outside of the home because he believes that a couple should spend most of their time together (despite later claiming that spouses who do not have a job outside the home, or at least have children, are useless). After meeting Shiloh, despite the fact that she was a celebrity in Canada at the time they met, he forced her to quit her singing career and move in with him to work for and with him full-time; to this day, over seven years later, her singing career still has not recovered. Upon breaking up with Shiloh, he dated a woman named Adrienne, who he attempted to manipulate into moving in with him within three weeks of the start of their relationship - and she almost did. And likewise, when he began dating Lainey, within a month of meeting her, he had proposed to her, rented a house in the state where she lived so that she could finish high school, and then married and impregnated her within the year, so that he could groom her and keep tabs on her until she was old enough to marry. 

Lainey does not have a job, and is completely financially and psychologically dependent upon Greg for not just survival, but her very sense of identity and self-worth as a person. In fact, she is so dependent on Greg as a source of ego regulation that I wrote an entire post breaking down and analyzing my impression of Lainey’s personality matrix because I was so baffled by the extent of her psychological dependency on him. You can read it here, if you’re curious (and have a lot of spare time). 

8. Punishment through anger, verbal abuse, forced isolation, character assassination, etc.

When angry with ex-girlfriend Shiloh, he pushed her into a door frame, causing her to miscarry (although some people do not believe that she was pregnant, since she and Greg had once faked a pregnancy and stillbirth):

He also forced her to shave her head bald, calling her a “whore”, “his property”, and “a good bitch”:

When Billie lied to him about smoking weed, he attempted to punish her by forcing her to dye her eyebrows green, shave off her hair (the third time he has attempted to, or succeeded in, manipulating a girlfriend to shave her hair off), get an ugly tan, be chained to his basement wall for a week wearing a sign saying “I’m sorry for lying Lainey” around her neck, and tattoo “I’m a liar” in the small of her back:

When he breaks up with exes, he also slanders and demeans their character on social media. He even does this with friends, other YouTubers, and sometimes just with people - usually women - that he doesn’t like. Including myself, by the way:

Proud moment. :’)

He made a video criticizing his ex (Adrienne) for the number of sexual partners she’s had, as well as implying that her vaginal hygiene was poor, and even made a series of videos in which he went and got himself tested for various STDs in order to imply that she was so promiscuous that she could have given him one (a video which later got deleted off YouTube when he realized how many downvotes it was getting); however, you can see her reference the video in her letter here:

When he and Skye divorced, he slandered her by calling her a thief and a liar, and continued to milk sympathy from his fans by implying that he was unfairly being forced to pay alimony, even though he agreed to the amount in the settlement, and she was rightly owed that money for her part in producing his early Onision videos.

When he broke up with Billie, he said and did several things to demean her character, including calling her a drug addict, imply that she’s “less than” for being a high school dropout who lives with her parents still, and also revealed to his entire fan base that she has an eating disorder, accused her family of being drugs addicts, and that she had been sexually assaulted and had an abortion, a secret which she had previously revealed to only a handful of close friends and family:

After Blaire White called him out for his actions, he made a video calling her so many different vile names, with such vitriolic hatred in his voice, that I actually have trouble watching it all the way through. You can really see his narcissistic rage coming out in this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEVHT6No5Xc

He has exhibited this cycle over and over again with YouTuber Cyr, who he has been friends with off and on for years:

Most recently - meaning since I first wrote this post (about a year and a half ago) - he has continued in this pattern of slandering ex-girlfriends and ex-friends a further three or four times at least; and so this is the part of this sub-heading that will provide new information that was not included in my old post.

After Jaclyn Glenn began dating Richie of SocialRepose, Greg flew off the handle, making a series of insulting comments about Jaclyn’s physical appearance on Twitter and YouTube, including remarking that tall women are gross, and that had she been dating him, he never would have allowed her to get breast implants, because they’re disgusting (and she’s disgusting for having them):

Since she has broken up with Richie, Greg has now reverted to his attempts at love-bombing Jaclyn (and her friend Jessie Paege) on Twitter, hoping to reignite their friendship (and the possibility of bringing her into a new trinity with Lainey, or at least hoping that she’ll be able to give a boost to his YouTube career). 

A few months ago, a close friend of both Greg and Lainey - model, actress, and member of the BDSM community Madison DeCambra - made a video with Greg about the DDlg (Daddy Dom/little girl) kink, which was received very poorly by the DDlg community. Feeling responsible for having hurt and contributed to the misrepresentation of the community that she loves so much, Madison posted a video on YouTube apologizing for any pain that her involvement in Greg’s video may have caused. Greg reacted to this by terminating their six-year-long friendship, as well as - predictably - going on a tirade of character assassinations against her on Twitter, including bringing her two-year-old daughter into it despite having previously accused anyone willing to bring a person’s children up during an argument of being trash. 

These were the texts he sent to Madison, which he then posted publicly on Twitter in order to discard and defame her:

(Source)

Here is a screenshot of Madison arguing with TomatoBisquette (another former friend of Greg’s whom he has discarded, in his case for being friendly towards MrRepzion, a YouTuber who Greg hates for having called him out in the past), who had tried to make light of how upset she was when Greg posted on Twitter telling her that he was disgusted by her and never considered her a friend:

He also used the opportunity to take another pot-shot at Beck - a former fan of Greg and Lainey before she, too, was ousted from their lives - for defending Madi:

However, the worst part of this interaction is that he chose to bring Madison’s two-year-old daughter into the argument, just because he was angry with her mother. Here was Madison’s (understandably angry and hurt) response:

A recent addition to the roster of the Avaroe’s stable of ex-friends, Maya - a 19-year-old bartender who briefly dated Lainey, and who visited them for about a week over the Christmas holidays in 2017 - described Greg’s behavior towards her as being bizarrely, uncomfortably interested in probing her about her past. She felt that he was pressing her for information to use against her in the future, and described the odd, inappropriate expression of pleasure that would come across his face while he was listening to a person describe some misfortune that had befallen them:

It would take me ages to compile a list of all of the exes, friends, YouTubers, and other randoms that he’s demeaned on social media or in his videos, so instead I’m just going to provide a (probably incomplete, and still-growing) list of people whose characters he has assassinated on Twitter or YouTube:

Exes: Skye, Shiloh, Adrienne, Billie 

Friends: Cyr, Andy Biersack (and his father), TomatoBisquette, Maya, Madison DeCambra, Beck, Jaclyn Glenn

YouTubers: Social Repose, Blaire White, Eugenia Cooney, Dan Howell, Keemstar, LeafyIsHere

Other: Ayallah (best friend of Billie, ex-girlfriend of Social Repose), Lainey’s family (father and sister), his own father, Luxymoo (Hailey)

9. Scouting new supply.

Before he had even divorced Skye, he moved on to Shiloh. When Shiloh left him and went back to Canada, he met Adrienne. When he broke up with Adrienne and she refused to take him back, he was texting Shiloh and Skye within 24 hours. When Skye, Shiloh, and Adrienne all refused to take him back, he then moved on to Lainey, who he had met and proposed marriage to within just a few short weeks of meeting. When he got bored of the ultimate power that he exerted over Lainey, he used her as queerbait to pull in Billie. When he and Lainey broke up with Billie - still bored with Lainey - he began auditioning new girls for a spot in his harem (Hailey/Luxymoo, Eryn, Maya, Sam, Beck). Here is a timeline of Greg’s known romantic relationships over the past fifteen years:

If Greg’s high school classmate is to be believed, however, then there are many, many women that Greg has been with that did not make this list.

And finally, here’s a funny, tongue-in-cheek chart chronicling the pattern of what happens when Greg and Lainey bring a new girl into the house: 

Lainey doesn’t know it yet, but this entire cycle is going to begin repeating itself sooner or later. It’s just a matter of time. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were lowkey auditioning girls as I write this.

10. Acting as though nothing happened.

Need I say more?