#there’s definitely nothing i could say about the mario movie that hasn’t already been said but ooogh. so pretty. illumination how

[un-pearable]

MARIO GOOD

[avengerscompound]

Legacy - Chapter 3

Legacy: A Hawkeye Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Clint Barton x  F!Reader

Word Count:  1732

Rating:  E

Square filled:   @marvelfluffbingo - Hurt/Comfort

Warnings:  Pregnancy, domestic abuse, post-endgame, angst, developing-relationship, hurt/comfort, smut, Laura and Clint have broken up.  Comic Clint/MCU Clint mix.

Synopsis: Nothing is the same after the events of Endgame.  When Clint has trouble returning to a life where his family hasn’t changed but he has lost everything, he moves back to the city and tries to move on as a single parent. When Nate finds you bruised and pregnant in the stairwell of his building, he decides that there might be another way that he can make Nat’s sacrifice worth something.

Chapter 3

Clint was really beginning to enjoy the summer.  It had been a long, long time since he could remember actually really enjoying one.  Not since everyone had turned to dust.  It was a season that had been tainted.  The last time he had really remembered enjoying it was the one where his family had died.

Since then there were five where he’d been alone, furious and broken.  Where the summer was just an uncomfortable season where he remembered everything he lost.  Then there was one year where all he felt was guilt and melancholy.  Guilt over the fact he couldn’t be what Laura needed him to be and melancholy over a season he usually mourned.

This year had been better.  He had the dog now and his kids were with him.  He’d take them to Central Park and visit the Zoo or go to Heckscher Playground and let them run around in the water.  He’d taken them to see movies where they’d sat in the cool watching all the new features that had been made now half of Hollywood had reappeared.  He’d taken them to see the Mets play and down to Coney Island to visit Luna Park.  He was making the effort to be who they needed him to be at least.  Cooper and Lila had already lost one dad.  They didn’t deserve to lose another.  Even if he had already mourned their deaths.

One thing that was helping him a lot was you.  Part of it was probably a huge case of white knight syndrome.  He was aware of it.  He wouldn’t have joined the Avengers if he didn’t get a kick out of helping people.  He helped people a lot.  It was kind of his thing.  It was more than that though.  Yeah, he was happy he’d gotten you away from that asshole of a boyfriend.  Yeah, he was happy that he’d set you on your feet so you could do this whole pregnancy thing without the looming threat of a man that beat you or not being able to provide for them.  Mostly he just liked having you around.

He’d shut people out.  It wasn’t just that he wasn’t letting new people in, he’d also shut out the friends and family he already had.  Opening that door for you seemed to open up a little bit of the man he used to be before all this happened.  Not only that, without Richard looming over you, you started to come to life.  You were like a breath of fresh air.  Even after you moved into the apartment next door you’d come by to have meals with them.  Often bringing over some of the dishes the neighbors had been making, sometimes cooking from scratch.  While he missed eating pizza as much as he was, it was definitely good to that the kids were eating better.  Laura would be happy to hear it in any case.

You’d gotten a job at Stark Industry basically doing data entry.  It wasn’t much, but it was something that you could sit for and it would last you until you couldn’t work anymore.  On your days off you were with them.  You came to movies and the park and the zoo.  The kids had all bonded with you quite closely considering it had only been a month and a half.  He liked seeing you with them.  He liked you.  He liked himself with you.  He started to recognize the guy he’d used to be.  The one that was happy and flirtatious and hadn’t lost his family.

Which kinda sucked because he couldn’t see how there was any chance for you two to be anything.  He couldn’t properly hit on you.  The flirting was harmless but you’d just gotten out of an abusive relationship.  You needed time and space.  You’d already said you’d worried that he wanted something from you as payment.  He wasn’t exactly in the best place either.  How was he supposed to make a new relationship work when he’d fucked his marriage up so badly?  Not to mention you were pregnant.  It upped the stakes.  He had to be really sure that there was something there before he messed with your life.  The problem was that he was never sure about that kind of thing.

It has been Nat that has introduced him to Bobbi.  It has been Nat who has pushed him towards Laura.  He didn’t know if he had it in him to try without he smacking him over the back of the head.

As the summer drew to a close he had really started to relax.  It was a weird sensation after so many years where he wouldn’t let himself.  You were at his apartment with the kids waiting for Laura to pick them up.  You were all playing Mario Kart.  He couldn’t quite believe how much fun he was having.  The kids were being hypercompetitive.  You were shoving him every time he got in the lead to try and make him crash.  Everyone was laughing and screaming, but that good kind of screaming where you’re having so much fun it comes out as shrieks.  Each time you pushed against him he felt a warm tingle inside him.  That little flutter of potential.  He wanted it to go away but at the same time, he liked it.  He liked that he could feel that again.

You shoved him again making him fly his baby Luigi off the side of the rainbow road.  “Oh, that’s it!”  He said trying to grab your controller out of your hands.

“No!”   You squealed, climbing up the back of the couch.  He wrestled with you for it making everyone laugh and Lucky start to bark excitedly.

“Yes!  You want to play dirty, we’ll play dirty.”  He teased.

There was a knock at the door and Lila jumped up and ran over to answer it.  “Mom!”  She squealed.

Everyone froze and looked over to see Laura standing in the doorway looking bemused.

“Mommy!”  Nate yelled, running over to Laura and throwing himself at her.  She caught him and picked him up as she pulled Lila into a hug too.

“Hey, guys.  I missed you.”  She said as she held them close.

Clint stood a little startled.  He knew Laura was coming today but he thought he had a few more hours.  He checked the microwave clock but it was flashing 12.00 as it had been since the day he moved in.  “Are you early?”

“Yeah, sorry.”  She said.  “I totally misjudged how long it would take to get here.  I don’t wanna rush them out or anything.  I do have that baby stuff you asked for in the car though.”

“Oh, great.  Thanks, Laur.”  He said and introduced the two of you.  “How about we go get that and you guys pack up the last of your stuff and then we can all go out and grab an early dinner?”

“Sounds good to me,”  Laura said putting Nate down.

“You mind helping them out?”

You nodded.  “Sure of course.  Come on you lot.”

Clint followed Laura downstairs leaving you and the kids to pack up their things.  “I hope this stuff is okay.  It’s all really old now.”  Laura said as she made her way down the stairs.  “I forgot that until I was going through it and it was covered in almost a decade of dust.”

Clint sighed and nodded.  “I guess if it’s no good we can have a baby shower and buy whatever else.”

Laura looked at him and raised her eyebrow.  “We?  Is this your baby, Clint?”

“What?  No.  I’d have told you I was with someone.”

“Well, that’s something at least.”  She said with a shake of her head.  “Who is this woman, Clint?  Why are you doing this?”

“She doesn’t have anyone.  And her ex was beating her.  I… Laur, I couldn’t do nothing.”

“There’s doing something and then there’s bending over backward.”  She said.  “Do you want something to happen with her.”

“No.  It’s not like that…”  He said.

“Clint, I just saw you.  I know what you look like when you’re falling for someone.”

He sighed and opened the door for her to go outside.  “I just… Laura.  She needed someone.  I couldn’t be who you needed me to be.  I tried.  And I wish it was different.  But it’s not.  And she needed help.  I can give her that.  I should be dead and I’m not so I need to do something to make it count.”

Laura stopped and looked him over.  She approached him and cupped his jaw.  It was such a familiar move yet it was like it was something that used to happen to a whole other man.  “I miss her too, Clint.  Every single day.  And I miss you.  But you aren’t the man I miss.  I think he died right along with us, only we don’t remember that happening.”

Clint opened his mouth to say something.  To apologize or try to explain or something.  She put her finger on his lips.  “It’s okay, Clint.  I can’t even try to understand what those five years were like.  I’m not even sure I want to.  You aren’t who you were before.  But the world isn’t what it was before.  It’s different and maybe you’re right.  Maybe she needs you.  But maybe you need her too.  Just…”  She paused and took a deep breath, caressing his cheek with her thumb.  “Be careful.  For both your sake.”

He nodded leaning his head into her hand a little.  “I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

“I love you, you know that?”  Laura said.  “If helping her, or being with her helps you find yourself, do it.  Be happy.”

He smiled sadly and nodded.  “I love you too.”  He said.  “I wish…”

“Me too, Clint.  But let’s not dwell on it anymore.  We’ve all lost too much.  Time to move forward.”  She said.  “Now help me get these things outta my car.”

Clint nodded and popped the trunk.  He did wish things were different in so many ways.  Laura was right though, it was time to move forward.  Most likely nothing would happen between you and him.  It was unfair of him to expect it would.  He could be your friend and he hadn’t made a new one in a long time.  That was a good start.

// NEXT

[datingintampafails]

Chapter 15: Aaron*

After Roger*, I don’t completely leave the app game, but I don’t go on any dates. I talk to a couple guys for a short bit, but nothing really sticks. One guy is kind of creepy, and even drops the “love” bomb on me, and I straight up yikes him. 

I knew when I matched with Aaron* and saw “Conservative” listed on his Bumble profile, that it was not going to work out. However, I was still coming off my fucking with people state, despite this now being the end of June, almost a month after my last date, that had been with Roger*. However, he is a nice looking, all-American looking man. Blonde hair, blue eyes, decently tall, fit but not overly buff, also does jiu-jitsu, so I say fuck it let’s see what happens. 

I even started my first message to him about this: “oh shoot you’re conservative” he asks if that is a problem, which I respond with “depends.” He asks what it depends on, and I say “if you own a maga hat.” He comes back with “Am I in more trouble if I own 2?”

Why would a person need two MAGA hats? I don’t know. This is something I will never know, and I’m okay with that information. He jokes about us both being able to wear one. I say definitely not. He asks why. I explain my DJT sentiments, “He’s constantly running his mouth when he shouldn’t/he has no chill. He’s terrible to women. His interests are biased to benefit businesses/his rich buddies and not the people.” 

Expecting him to debate with me with some bullshit, instead, he says I have fair criticism and agrees with my first point. We talk more politics, I say the party system itself sucks, which he admits he thinks we are closer politically than he thought. He purposely changes the subject, with the all wonderful “what are you looking for on here?” question. Blah blah blah.

He said he says I have a good plan and he “matched with [me] cause [I’m] cute and seemed like [I’d] be fun to play some vidya with.” We then talk games and systems for a bit. He asks me for my Snapchat username, then our conversations continue strictly on there for the foreseeable future. He mentions something about feeding his dogs raw chicken, and due to my job working in veterinary medicine, I let him know that isn’t a good idea. He tries to mansplain me, and I clap back, saying that whereas raw red meat is fine for them, raw chicken isn’t and I’ve seen a lot of dogs get sick. He thanks me for the information and drops it. I respect how he backs off and listens.

We set up a date for a Wednesday, but then the day of, I get some news that my coworker I work closely with at one of my jobs, may have contracted coronavirus. I let him know that I don’t want to risk it, just in case I may have gotten it. Instead, I suggest we do a video chat instead. 

Video chat actually ends up being pretty fun and is a nice way to get to know each other without going out out. He has two dogs and I get to see them. He mentions that he played World of Warcraft and I’m surprised. He looks more like a pretty boy type and not nerdy like that, despite us talking about other video games previously. I then suggest we play some video games together for the rest of the night. We even add each other on discord/Battlenet (Blizzard Games) and play Heroes of the Storms together. He and I actually work very well as a team and opt to play a character together which requires complete teamwork as you share a body with different powers. It’s a difficult character to play, so normally I don’t play it, even with my friends. This gives me a glimmer of, hey maybe I could make this work: naive. 

I decide one day I should ask some non-superficial questions to get to know if the MAGA thing is something I can ignore for better qualities. I ask him about his goals and his future.

He mentions he wants to own a lot of land and grow his own food, have some cows. So basically he wants to be a farmer? Definitely not a life I could see myself in. I mention as well that my future doesn’t involve kids. He says he definitely would want to have kids. 

I ask him why he feels the need to have children. He simply says, “Idk it’s just what you do.” TO which, I intelligently let him know, “just because it’s what you do, doesn’t mean it’s what YOU do.” Essentially, fuck societal rules, live your life as your own. He sticks to his guns, which are his rights. I kinda just remove myself from the conversation as it doesn’t go anywhere. 

At the same time, I’m also chatting with another guy. This guy is way more compatible personality-wise, but he isn’t really physically attractive to me. I feel bad as I am practically stringing him along. I even had a video chat date with him around the same time as Aaron*, but whereas he is nice, I don’t see him as a romantic prospect, which makes me more confused. 

Despite our conversation that would seem like an end-all for the relationship continuing, Aaron* continues to send me Snapchats, which are nice eye candy. He goes to the gym and would send me pictures of him in the sauna, ie shirtless pictures. He asks me out again, and I confirm that he is still interested. He asks fairly if he has indicated in any way that he was no longer interested. Also adds he wants to see where things go and at least give it a shot and is willing to risk the possibility of my coronavirus exposure. Fair enough. 

We reschedule essentially the date we were gonna have earlier that week, going to the same Greek restaurant. I get there first and wait in my car. Somehow I am not paying attention when he arrives, and he says he is there but doesn’t see me inside. So I walk up to him in the restaurant and give him a hug. He is the only one there, so it is easy to spot him. We share a platter of hummus and veggies, just talk, and have a good time. I get a sense, as I did during the video chat as well, that he is more introverted than I am and on the quieter side. The restaurant is closing for the day, and we are done eating, so we head out. Walking to our cars, he asks if I wanna come over and meet his dogs since he lives ten minutes away. I agree. 

I half follow google maps with the address he gives me, half just follow him. Jokingly when we arrive and we start to walk in, I ask him if he’s going to murder me. He laughs and says no. As I add “not this time at least.” 

I get to meet his dogs, one is definitely a wild child. We play Super Smash Bros on his Switch, and after only winning one round and getting obliterated otherwise, I ask if we can play something more co-op. We bring out Mario Party but are kind of confused about how anything works. Instead, we opt to just watch a movie instead. We cuddle and watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

At the end of the movie, it is late and I say that I’m gonna head out. He walks me to our car and we kiss goodnight a couple of times. Unfortunately for me, I was happy to kiss him goodnight. I do ask him that he actually give me his number, though he had given me a similar story like Darren*, saying his service isn’t good and he chats primarily via Snapchat. 

We talk some more and set up another date. I invite him over for dinner. When he arrives he tries to kiss me at his car side when I greet him which catches me off guard. I’m not huge into PDA so I don’t really know what to do. He seems fine when I instead give him a kiss hello when we get inside. I make the food and all seems good. He gets along with my dog very well and they’re having fun. We eat our food then decide to go to the couch to watch a movie. We settle on Toy Story 4 as I determine that he should see it since he hasn’t. During the movie, he initiates kissing a few times. At some point though, it gets a little more heated as kissing becomes a true makeout session, and he lays me down on the couch. His kisses are a little more hungry, and honestly, I’m not super into his style and feel more like I’m just kind of there. I stop him and say “can w talk about something really quick?” I can tell that he is trying to lead up to things, and given the fact that we are on very different paths for the future, though it would be a good time to discuss where we are at. I pause the movie officially. I say I like him and ask him what his realistic expectations for us would be. He says that given our opposite feelings towards children, that “well we wouldn’t get married, but I definitely want whatever is the next step under that. Until I’m ready for something more serious with a person that would want kids” I simply respond that I am looking for something that would be potentially more serious, and don’t think we want the same things. I make a joke about him not wanting to get married, and that I already have the venue picked out, Sabrina has a flower girl dress, etc. Just to lighten the mood. He laughs and we continue watching the movies.

At the end of the movie he again initiates kissing me. I’m confused, I thought we had essentially ended whatever was going on via our conversation. He then just asks me, “hey would you want to fool around a little before I leave?” Again, given the conversation we had just had, I don’t think this man really understands where I am at. “No, I don’t really wanna do that now,” I say to him. We watch some short skits and then I say it’s probably time for him to go. I ask that he lets me know when he gets back home. 

We video game together a couple more times, he sends me more shirtless pics, I just kind of ignore him/don’t respond as much, as especially after his reaction of trying to sleep with me, I am officially no longer interested.

We went from #1 best Snapchat friends with a 12-day streak to nada, but oh well. He still looks at my stories sometimes but never initiates contact. I wish him the best and hope he gets what he wants.

[punkinroses]

Yugioh Season 4 Quotes Prompt Meme

I am stressed, tired, sick of my job and needing a brain break. Yugioh Abridged is my go to for that at the moment. So. Have a sentence meme thing. Feel free to reblog, change pronouns, etc. Go have fun kids. Be wild. Be gay. Do crime. Love you

“The whole saving the world thing really eats into your study time.” “But my teacher gave me, like, a bunch of gold stars! And an A+ in trying.” “I already know everything I need to know about mathematics from playing card games.” “I was also thinking about doing some of the drugs later.” “(name)’s hand is on fire!” “That sounds like a commotion! .......Yes. Definitely a commotion.” “Well, I’m sure the city can defend itself.” “Those neutral motherfuckers. I never cared for them.” “How the hell did you people get in my house!?” “I’m not sure I like the rich douchebag channel.” “We figured you had more of an emotional connection to these.” “Damnit, (name), we agreed I would do the monologuing.” “My spirit guide has once again served its purpose.” “It’ll be called the bitch ass retirement plan. Named after you, ya bitch ass!” “That’s some OP bullshit right there.” “Broseph...Brosephine...Bro DiMaggio.” “I’ve got shoulder pads!” “Now what are you gonna do, Bromeo and Juliet?” “It’s not often I get to hear the worst insult ever coined by a human being.” “Yeah, they once sucked out Channing Tatum’s soul as a joke.” “I have nothing else in my life, please!” “So you’re someone I haven’t seen in a really, really long time? .........Are you my parents??!!” “Stop abusing the concept of friendship!!” “You must have spent YEARS researching this! Even though you can find this exact information on the back of any Yu-Gi-Oh! DVD!” “King of doors, bitch!” “That’s two points for Middle Earth, zero points for (name).” “I was not prepared to watch this today.” “Okay, so, you’re a lost cause.” “If even one of you makes a Sharknado reference, I will end you so hard.” “Try this on for size, you Sauron-looking motherfucker!” “I thought we had an agreement! You agreed to not be a little bitch, but now you’re being a little bitch!” “Maybe they’ll take someone’s soul that we don’t care about this time.” “Goddamnit, you never help me, ever!!” “Alright, douchebags! I’m sick and tired of us not being on top!” “These meetings get fucking weird.” “How much more specific can I get? SOMEWHERE in CALIFORNIA.” “I wonder if there are card games on the moon.” “I knew it. This is just some cheap trick to get me to come see you, so you can hit on me with a bunch of cheap innuendos, isn’t it?” “And, to think, people call you a diluted egomaniac.” “That’s not possible! I’M the adorable one!” “For some reason, cruising for chicks has caused me to become severely injured.” “I would be so turned on if that wasn’t such a huge waste of trading cards.” “I’d like to spread some vegemite on those things.” “You left me on a blimp with a known psychopath, while I was in a coma, so you could go off and play video games.” “So, in other words, since we’ve never seen your balls drop, we can assume it hasn’t happened?” “My douche-senses are telling me that (name) is mocking me somewhere.” “Should I remind you to tell them to go fuck themselves when we get there?” “He will eat you with his crocodile face.” “Okay, did you have to include the part of the story where they insulted me?” “Hey, a sword! I can stab people with this!” “Seriously? That was your one Koala joke?” “Try believing in the heart of the cards.” “Quiet, you sorcerer.” “If you’re seeing this, (name), it either means I’m dead, leaving behind a very fabulous looking corpse, or my soul has been captured.” “Maybe it had something very kinky on it and 4Kids had to censor it.” “I’ll leave that up to the fanfic authors.” “I’ll write a highly unfavorable research paper about you! With inconclusive findings!” “I feel like I should be concerned, but I just can’t stop thinking about how Copernicus is such a stupid name for a horse.” “You know that thing takes people’s souls and I found it on a dead guy, right?” “That was acting, children! Bravo for me!” “According to my research, I’m in a crapload of pain.” “Learned that trick from playing Super Mario World.” “I’ll just be over here wibbling to myself. Please, pay me no mind.” “Okay, everyone. I’m going to go scream into a pillow for the next five minutes.” “Are you telling me that we can't build an elevator into space?! Because that sounds like something a guy who doesn't want to keep his job would say!” “And let me tell you one last thing. All those times I got angry and declared that I would have my vengeance on you: I WAS FAKING!” “I'm glad we spent all our money on this bag of potato chips and generic brand soda.” “By the way, I memorized several dozen dinosaur puns, just so I could use them in this.” “The only reunion that’s about to happen is my size ten up your buttocks!” “Dorō! Monsutā Kādo!” “You're right, (name). I lost control. At the end of the day, this is just a game.” “We’re going to disturb the spirits of the dead! Yay!” “What the fuck even is this season!?” “Won’t somebody fetch me some ice cream!?” “I’m old and I hold a stick. That automatically makes me the wisest person in the valley.” “It’s a good thing I played all that Assassin’s Creed!” “It’s a good thing I played all that Banjo Kazooie!” “Oh, thank God, because I really wasn’t listening to any of that. Any of it.” “Now, I have to go back down there and challenge that vulture to a card game.” “Okay, (name), I’m going to level with you; I may have lied about the pizza.” “It makes me look really bonkers cool while I kick the shit out of you.” “Actually, he says his name is Cornelius Jr. and he wants to play basketball, just like how his father wanted him to.” “You can talk to snakes!?” “Hey, are you sure it’s safe for us to fly straight into that strange weather phenomenon?” “I guess we’d better confront whatever villain of the week that is.” “Well, these buttons look important.” “We mostly get by using our street smarts and ingenuity.” “No, I'm mad because I never wanted to know what one of Hideo Kojima's wet dreams looked like, and now I do, so thanks for that.” “I swear on my life we didn't keep a single flying war machine of death.” “Well, it would be way more intimidating if its face wasn't so damn adorable.” “Yeah, they’re dead. Dibs on their crappy broken stuff!” “Did you guys notice that this episode had the exact same ending as Bee Movie?” “I'm also glad we're not going to Florida as it means that we are not going to Florida.” “OK, but wait! I'm almost to the part where we met two ghosts in the California desert who just happened to be related to the guy we're fighting. Oh God, you're right; it's all just bullshit, isn't it?” “Breaking stuff will fix it!” “I'm bi a lot of things, but lingual is not one of them.” “Welcome back, asshole.” “Hey (name), wanna reenact a scene from Back to the Future Part II?” “I'd rather throw myself off the roof.” “Damn you, Microsoft Flight Simulator!” “Yes, but you had to steal my catchphrase to do it! Is nothing sacred to you?” “That is the single most offensive thing anyone has ever said to me.” “OK, children, from now on, everybody uses the Buddy System. When I say "Go," I want you all to choose a buddy and form an everlasting and inseparable bond between them 'till death do you part. OK, go!” “(Name), remember, whatever happens, you mustn't become an evil little sh*thead.” “Suckers! Consider yourselves ditched.“ “Well if any other anime in existence has taught me anything, most of the drama tends to happen on...the roof.“ “Just my luck. Dork Fest continues.“ “No! It's got a scythe. The deadliest farming implement known to man.“ “This heavy-hearted metaphor was brought to you by Da, a subsidiary of Doy, Inc.” “OK, this is also total BS. When I came back from the dead, I didn't get a chorus of heavenly music and a light show.“ “It's a good thing I'm so buff or that fall would've killed me.“ “(Name), promise me you're not going to embarrass me in front of the U.S. Military.” “ Guys, I think we took a wrong turn, because I'm pretty sure this is the Chamber of Secrets.” “Those aren't Funko Pops! They're much more disturbing!” “Yeah, makes your measly five thousand years look like a five thousand years of being a bitch, bitch.“ “Okay, but why are we in space?” “I have no idea who that is. You are talkin' fucking crazy right now, man. Are you okay? Do you need water? How long were you in the desert for?“ “For the record, I was dressing up in suits of armor before it was cool.“ “(Name), this is like, the third time you've tried to murder one of my friends, stop it!” “Nah. As a teenager with unlimited access to the Internet, I get to do that every day.” “As I was saying, (name) is a damn handsome and valuable person. Thank goodness for them.” “They died as they lived... pissing me off.” “Okay, who let the posh shithead in here?” “I'm so happy you escaped the cold embrace of death so that I could experience your deathly cold embrace again!“ “Wow. My eBay sensors are tingling.“ “You know, we really have no idea where this portal will take us, but I have total confidence in this decision.“ “None of this matters to you! You're already dead! Blah, blah, blah, omae wa mou shindeiru.” “Glad we came all the way up here so that we could not know what was going on.“ “Does this mean I can take back all the nice things I said?“ “I'm not doing any of those things. I'm just enjoying being with you.”

[socoolraywoodbloghere]

Full of Yourself

Y’all ever get consumed by the ghost-of-writing’s-past and impulsively stay up way too late writing a fanfic all because you wanted to use one set of dialogue you thought would be funny? So anyway, here’s wonderwall

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20024296

Ray hesitated in front of the door. This was dumb. It was arguably a breaking of their unspoken rules of privacy. He and Ryan didn’t ask stuff directly, certainly not in actual words. They just, you know, took what they were given when they were given it, let the other know they were there and would listen and would care. It was a good system. One that resulted in Ryan knowing things about Ray no one else ever has and maybe ever will. Ray likes to think it also goes vice-versa. But this was bugging him. Bugging wasn’t even the right word for it, this was eating at him, slowly and surely, every second of every day, and making him hollower and hollower by the minute. He needed to get this addressed.

The worst part was he seemed to be the only one who didn’t know who it was – who on earth did Ryan like? He knew the guy too much and knew the tells too well to not know his attitude was definitely the result of some kind of crush. Ray’s been through it too himself, he knows exactly what stage Ryan’s in: smack dab in the thick of the finally-having-accepted-he-likes-them-but-not-yet-met-with-the-crushing-reality-that-to-have-anything-happen-would-require-the-mortifying-ordeal-of-being-known zone. Ray zoomed past that post like a couple months ago and has landed in the knows-Ryan-will-never-return-his-feelings-but-will-enjoy-his-time-with-him-nonetheless-if-bittersweetly position on the rode o’ heartbreak. Recently it’s felt less like a road and more like an ouroboros, but the metaphor still stands.

Every time he tried to get info out of the others, they gave him this frustrating look of, “I know, but I won’t tell you, and it’s withering that you don’t already know,” as they swore they knew nothing of the sort. Which, honestly? They can go fuck themselves about that. Why are they all such assholes about this? There’s literally no reason to be, especially since Ray’s been so careful to hide his feelings so there’s no way they can know he has, like, a personal investment here.

So now he’s here, last resort. Actual, verbal communication. He’s already tried to talk himself out of it, told himself Ryan would tell him if and when he wanted to. He wasn’t owed this information. It was probably someone he didn’t even know (didn’t want to think about if that would hurt more than knowing them). It didn’t matter who it was, he was going to be happy for the guy anyway. Be there for talking about it no matter how much it hurt. Keep his heart hidden and let Ryan be happy – Ryan deserved to be happy.

And yet, Ray still wants to know. He just- he just wants to know, is all. So… you know. He guesses he’ll just… ask. Politely.

Ray took a deep breath and knocked on the door, some part of him wishing Ryan wasn’t actually home even though he knew for a fact he was.

There was a grunt from the other side of the door and Ray finally properly steeled himself. “Yo,” Ray called. There was a moment of shuffling sounds and then the door was unlocked and there was Ryan. His hair was a little mussed in its bun, the permanent bags under his eyes were no worse than usual, his t-shirt looked soft and his jeans were the dad-est thing Ray’s ever seen a serial killer wear in his life. Like usual, Ryan stepped aside and just let Ray into his room, not a word needing to be said.

When had this become their usual, Ray wondered. It’s not like they did anything when they hung out. Mostly Ray slouched improperly on some piece of furniture and/or floor. Sometimes tapping at his phone or DS, sometimes staring off into space while he fidgeted with something. Ryan’s room was quiet. In Ryan’s room Ray felt like he could relax. Ryan’s room had plants and blank walls that he wasn’t responsible for thinking about customizing. It was definitely weird that Ray found the idea of decorating or even properly living in his room stressful, but he did. Those pressures weren’t in Ryan’s room.

Plus, Ryan’s room had Ryan – doing something on his laptop, tapping away on a phone, tinkering away at something on his desk, reading a book like some kind of literate person. Sometimes Ryan would put on a movie and Ray would wander his way over and find himself leaning on him to watch it. Sometimes Ray would bring his switch and demand Ryan try to beat him in Mario Kart.

Sometimes Ray would knock and Ryan wouldn’t be doing so good, but for some reason he still let Ray in, as if having Ray there was better than not. Ray still hasn’t figured out why, but he does his best during those times to just quietly be there. He’d leave if Ryan asked him to, go if Ryan didn’t open the door. But Ryan never shooed him out. It’s just their usual.

Or, at least, it’s their current usual. If Ryan’s interested in someone, well, he really wouldn’t need Ray moping around to cramp his style. Probably wouldn’t be at the penthouse that much either anyway, and Ray’s not so desperate as to break into a guy’s room (not yet at least…). Ray takes a moment as he enters the room to mourn their usual, something he didn’t even realize he’d had to do till just now.

Yeah, Ray’s going to end up taking all of this super well. This is such a super good idea. He’s so fucking smart and good at things, Jesus Christ.

Ryan closed and re-locked the door – a motion one should typically fear when done by the Vagabond, but somehow being locked in a room with Ryan was probably Ray’s #1 pick for top-ten-places-that-give-him-emotional-and-physical-security. Ryan returned to where he must have been before Ray knocked, on the bed doing something with his computer. Ray always found it kind of funny (kind of cute) that no matter where Ryan was sitting, he always had perfect posture. Ray was positive that if he managed to make it to old age he’d pay for his slouching in back pain, but Ryan would be good to go for years. If they make it to then.

Ray considered, just for a moment, chickening out and just living with not knowing. Just enjoy this day and the next until it was over. But the gnawing in his stomach hadn’t let up for a single second and he knew he couldn’t do that.

Ray leaned against the desk and crossed his arms lightly, a flimsy physical barrier to the hurt to come. The distance between the two of them was a few feet, but somehow it felt like a chasm. Ryan looked up from his laptop for just a moment and then again, taking in Ray’s posture. That was another thing – Ryan could read him like a book. Ray could hide anything from anyone, but for some reason Ryan could always see right through. There wasn’t a point to putting up a façade for him, so Ray found himself not doing it. Now Ryan watched him, waiting for Ray to be ready to say what was on his mind. Ray studied the carpet.

Well, have to start this thing off one way or another.

“So, I, uh, heard you started to get interested in someone…” It was blunt, for sure. Not Ray’s usual beating around the bush, saying everything but what he wants. He doesn’t have to be direct, Ryan somehow catches his drift no matter what, but in this matter, he doesn’t know how else to say it.

Ray finally tore his eyes from the carpet to look at Ryan. Ryan’s face was in a red-hot blush and he stared owlishly at Ray. Well, there’s his answer, there’s his confirmation. As much as Ray knew that Ryan must surely like someone, some part of his heart was holding out for him to be wrong, for Ryan to have absolutely no interest in anyone. But the look on Ryan’s face makes it clear that he’s got a crush, and honestly probably a real doozy of one too.

Ray’s heart crumbles into dust in his chest. He wants to leave right then, go back to his stupid room and just not come back out. But still his morbid curiosity needs to know: Who? Who gets to have Ryan when Ray can’t?

“Must, uh, be a pretty good looker, to get your attention and all…” Ray mumbled to the floor.

And then, Ryan scoffed. Scoffed! And suddenly Ray looked up at him, now red in the face (from embarrassment or indignity, Ray wasn’t entirely sure).

“Well aren’t we full of ourselves?” Ryan said, still red in the face and now looking at the carpet himself. What?

“What?” Ray said, confused.

“What?” Ryan said, now looking up again in confusion, but it was a confusion as to why Ray was confused, which just confused Ray more.

“What do you mean?”

“Well you just called yourself good looking, so…” Ryan trailed off, now looking anywhere else once more. Huh?

“… No, I meant the person you like?”

“Right,” Ryan said, brow furrowed and looking up again, “You.”

“What?” Ray said.

“What?” Ryan said.

“What?” Ray said again, and for half a second, he thought it was clicking. Then his brain decided to immediately short circuit, however, so he lost it.

“You didn’t know already??” Ryan asked, confused. Know what? What would he know already? Know that Ryan liked him?

What? What!? What?

Ray didn’t really process it, he didn’t have time, he felt defensive. His one working brain cell decided that responding was more important than processing.

“No!! How was I supposed to know if you didn’t tell me!!” Ray shot back, because that was a fair point, actually.

“I-I thought that was why you were here!”

“No! I just wanted to know who it was I needed to be jealous of!” Ray’s last braincell needs to shut the FUCK up and stop being honest. But it’s pointless because his stupid self decided Ryan is safe enough for no façade. Idiot.

“Jealous? Why would you need to be jealous?”

Now it was Ray’s turn to scoff, “I! Because! The guy I like liking someone else is something to be jealous about!” Can he make it any more obvious?

Ryan was about to say something back but then he seemed to stop, the wheels in his head screeching to halt. They rewound until he came back with an unexpected sentence, looking at Ray with an unplaceable emotion that looked a lot like hope mixed with whiplash, “Wait, you like me?”

“Wha- I- Well,” Ray sputtered, somehow growing redder in the face by the second. This was all going downhill so fast and the breaks were yet to be found, “Y-yeah, of course I do!”

“What do you mean ‘of course’, I didn’t know!” Ryan said – not angry, just, Ray doesn’t know, he supposes flustered? That’s definitely how Ray felt.

“W-well- Now you do! And I didn’t know you liked me, so there!” Great come back, Ray. You showed him.

“Yeah, well, now you do!” Ryan said, equally as eloquent and now crossing his own arms. He looked damn near a pout too.

Ray buried his head in his hands. How had this gone so bad so quickly. There it is, suddenly out in the open. He told Ryan he liked him. Now everything was definitely ruined. Their usual was definitely done forever effective immediately and he still didn’t even know the answer to the question he came in here for.

Somewhere deep in the recesses of Ray’s brain a miracle occurred. What was thought to be the last-remaining brain cell stumbled upon one of its own kind. Shocked by the discovery of one-another, they wasted no time in producing what was long regarded as an extinct species within the confines of Ray’s mind – a single coherent thought.

Ray looked up from his hands at Ryan, wracked by his revelation. “Wait…” Ray said, finally catching on, “Y-you like me?”

Ryan looked like he was about to start the cycle over again when he caught the look on Ray’s face and suddenly softened. Softened the way Ray couldn’t help but notice only ever happened around him. Could he actually…?

“Well, yeah,” Ryan said, and Ray had never seen a more earnest man in his entire life. “Of course I do.”

The chasm between them somehow crew deeper, yet Ray suddenly wanted nothing more than to cross it. There’s no way, though, no way he could have this.

His arms uncrossed themselves. He squeezed the edge of the desk.

“W-well, th-that’s good.” Ray fought to keep himself looking at Ryan as he spoke. Fear and trepidation and hope and yearning built his heart back up. “B-because I like you too.”

“Y-you do?” Ryan asked, and now ray couldn’t help but smile, because here they go again. Ryan being nervous made Ray calmer. You don’t get nervous over things you don’t mean.

“Yeah,” Ray said, his voice now soft. “Of course I do.”

There was a quite moment of silence, more in awe of the moment than anything else. They just watched each other, not knowing what to do.

Ryan rose from where he’d been sitting on the bed and suddenly the chasm collapsed into absolutely nothing and Ray was walking the three steps to him without even thinking about it. Ray’s arms found Ryan’s shoulders and Ryan’s hands found Ray’s face and they stood there a moment, looking at each other – so close, the way Ray’s wanted to be a billion times before. Could they really? Were they really allowed? No way, Ray was tempted to think, they don’t get fairy tales. Do they? Ryan’s blue eyes washed out those thoughts and left nothing behind but unmistakable want.

“Can I kiss you?” Ryan asked, the ghost of his whisper rolling over Ray’s lips and raising goosebumps.

It was so fast for them, neither liked to plunge headlong into things. Both needed things to be taken slowly.

And yet Ray felt like they’d already done that part. They already have gone slow. They already know each other. They already trust each other. Ray’s waited so long for this. Ray wondered if Ryan has waited for this. The look in his eyes says it all – yes.

Ray smiles. “Of course you can.” And then there isn’t a single inch between them.

 --

 Bonus content:

After making out for a bit the raspberries suddenly start and then someone starts tickling and they just end up collapsing in bed play-fighting and laughing and the L-O-V-E word is still very scary, but the looks in their eyes say what they mean.

[elleberquist6]

Stray Cat - chapter eleven

Rating: Mature Word Count: 2581 Warnings: Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut Summary: Phil Lester believes that if he does good things then good things will happen to him, so on one of the worst days of his life he invites a rain-soaked Neko boy named Dan into his home. Phil has never met a Neko before and he knows nothing about the dark system that has molded Dan. Dan is part of a repressed population with few rights, and as Phil gets to know him he can’t understand why – Dan is the most amazing person he has ever met. — Though he liked the idea of hiding beneath Phil’s duvet from the world for the rest of the day, Dan dragged himself out of bed. While Phil got ready for work, Dan made himself presentable by putting on a t-shirt and sweatpants – the pants were uncomfortable because of his heat, and Dan stifled a whimper as he settled onto the sofa beneath a blanket.

Someone knocked on the front door, but before Dan could shift the blanket off his lap and get up, Phil had answered the door. Dan heard him say, “Morning, Mar.”

“Hey, Philly.” Dan heard them walk to the kitchen, and then Martyn asked, “Where’s Dan?”

“I think he’s in the living room,” Phil responded. Dan wondered if he should tell them that he could hear them. “Thanks for coming over.”

“No problem,” Martyn said “So, you said he’s sick? Does he like need anything? I’m happy to help but I do need to get some things done today… Just letting you know that I can’t be a nurse if that’s what he needs.”

Phil hadn’t told Martyn what was wrong with him yet – Dan definitely wasn’t going to tell them that he could hear them now. “He should be fine. He’s got a fever and he’s throwing up, but I just don’t want him to be alone in case he passes out and falls down or something.”

“Okay. So, he has the flu?” Martyn asked.

“Uh, no, not a flu.” There was a pause as Phil thought of how to respond. “He’s in heat. Have you heard about that before? It’s a thing that Nekos get.”

“Oh shit. I have heard of that. But not from a reliable source. Just pornos… Yeah, I don’t really know anything about it. I didn’t even know that it could make them sick like this. Just horny.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t imagine that this is anything like what you saw in porn. He’s feeling poorly. I think it’s because he’s resisting it, fighting the way his body is trying to feel. It doesn’t help that this is happening before he has recovered fully from what was done to him before we met – the bruises haven’t even fully healed yet. It’s all just… really awful. But he should be feeling better in a couple days when this heat is over. Can you come over tomorrow, too?”

“Sure, Phil. What time do you have to go to work today?”

“Oh!” Phil exclaimed, and there was the sound of a chair scraping across the kitchen floor. “I should leave now.” There were approaching footsteps and Dan looked up as Phil materialized in the doorway. “There you are. I have to get going. Martyn is in the kitchen setting up his laptop – he’ll be here until I get home, so you won’t be alone.”

“Okay. Have fun at work. Keep an eye out for those flying chocolate oranges.”

Phil grinned at him. “Don’t worry. I’ve been practicing my dodge. I won’t get hit again. See you later.”

“See you.” Dan listened to him as he walked away and then left through the front door; he missed him already. A moment later he heard the chain being put across and then Martyn popped his head into the living room.

“Hey, just wanted to say… hi,” Martyn gave him a wave while Dan stared at him. So, this was awkward – not that Dan could blame him. “I’ve got to get some work done. If you need anything, give a shout, or else I’ll just see you in a few hours when I take my lunch break.”

“Okay,” Dan said, exhaling in relief when Martyn left the room and took the awkward tension with him. Wanting a distraction, he turned on the TV and the game console. He muted the TV so that he didn’t bother Martyn in the kitchen and he started playing Mario Kart. After a few minutes, he was glad that Phil wasn’t here to see how awful he was – he felt too lousy to concentrate on the race and he kept getting hit by items. He played until he couldn’t focus anymore, stared at the menu for a while, and then dropped the controller.

Dan buried his face in the arm of the sofa. He wanted the pain to stop – his head was throbbing, his heart was pounding, his dick was so sensitive that it was painful, and his stomach was rolling with nausea though he hadn’t eaten anything today. Dan didn’t like being a Neko – he never had – but it was moments like this that made him hate what he was. He was broken.

Someone was touching his shoulder. Dan woke with a shout and flinched away from the hand. “Sorry!” someone said. Dan looked up to see Martyn backing a step away from him. “I made sandwiches for lunch. I was just waking you up to see if you were hungry.”

“Oh,” Dan tried to even his breathing. He must have been asleep for a while if it was lunchtime. Truthfully, he was tired and would have preferred to continue sleeping, but he gave Martyn a polite smile. “Thanks, Martyn.”

Martyn sat next to him on the sofa and Dan saw that he had already placed two glasses of Ribena and a platter of sandwiches on the coffee table. Martyn nodded to them in invitation. “Peanut butter and jelly. I even cut them into triangles because that makes them better, of course.”  

Dan took a bite of a sandwich hesitantly, but his stomach seemed to have settled. Martyn was acting less awkward around him, and a few moments later they settled into a casual race of Mario Kart between bites of peanut butter and jelly. Dan asked, “How much longer are you on break?”

He glanced at his watch. “About 45 minutes, but my schedule isn’t really strict. It’s more a matter of keeping track of how much time I work for when I bill my client later.”

“What is it that you do?” He asked, and he said it with more than casual curiosity – Dan liked the sound of a job he could do from home.

“Web design.”

“Oh,” Dan said, unsure what to ask next. He only knew about ‘the web’ in an abstract sense when people like Phil talked about the internet or he saw it depicted in movies or on TV. He was curious about going online, but no one had ever allowed him to do it before Phil handed him a laptop when they were looking at jobs, and Dan hadn’t explored any other websites at the time. “How did you learn how to do that? Did you have to go to school?”

“Yeah, I went to college. I knew some things about it since I was a kid, but I couldn’t get hired until I earned some credentials.”

Dan sighed, letting go of a vision of the future where he could be a web designer.

Martyn glanced at him. “You’re thinking about getting a job?”

“Well, I don’t want to live off Phil forever, and I know there aren’t many options for people like me. When Phil said you work from home I started thinking about how nice that sounded. It might not matter that I have a tail and ears if I can work from home.”

Martyn nodded. “I can see that. There’s lots of other jobs you can do from home. Not all of them require degrees. I’m sure you’ll find something.”

“Thanks,” Dan said with a smile, feeling a bit more optimistic. They completed another race, and Dan came in nearly last as he became distracted by another thought. “Martyn, could you tell me something about Phil? I didn’t want to ask him in case it would be crossing a line, but why does he work in customer service if he doesn’t like it?”

“Oh, he wouldn’t have been bothered if you’d asked him. You should know that Phil has a Bachelor’s degree in Linguistics, but there aren’t many jobs in that field and he doesn’t want to work in that area anyway. He also started working on a Master’s degree in Post-production and he loved it, but he stopped since he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do with his degree and the classes were really expensive. So, Phil started working in customer service jobs to pay his student loans while he took a break from school, and that’s what he’s been doing since.”

“So, he hasn’t found his passion yet? The thing he wants to do with the rest of his life?”

“Oh, no,” Martyn shook his head. “He found it. Hasn’t he shown you yet?”

Dan just blinked at him.

“Where’s his laptop?” When Dan pointed to Phil’s bedroom, Martyn left and then returned with Phil’s laptop. He opened it but then stared at the place where he was supposed to enter a password. “Hmm, I know his old password, but I’m not sure if he’s changed it. Oh well. If it’s wrong, I’ll just show you on my laptop when I’m finished with work, or you can get Phil to show you.”

Dan watched Martyn’s hands move across the keyboard, and then he said, “His password is Buffy1987?”

“It used to be. Let’s see…” Martyn hit ‘enter’ and they both laughed when the laptop accepted the password. “I guess I know my brother. Okay… so, have you heard of YouTube?”

“No.” Dan watched as Martyn pulled up a website with bright red logos. Martyn typed ‘AmazingPhil’ into the search field. Then he slid the laptop over to Dan.

“Okay, I’ve got to get back to work, but if you’re curious this used to be Phil’s passion. He would make videos on this website. I’m not sure why he stopped – I haven’t asked him. But it made him happy, so I hope he starts doing it again someday.”

Martyn returned to the kitchen and Dan pulled the laptop into his lap. He plugged in some headphones, but he hesitated before clicking on a video. It seemed personal somehow, like he had found Phil’s diary and was about to start reading it, but then he had to admit that this was a poor analogy because if he came across Phil’s diary he would probably read it. Dan wanted to know everything about Phil. So, he played the video. And then another. And another.

“Hey! Can someone please get the chain?”

Dan looked up at the sound of Phil’s voice – Phil was home, but he was locked out. Dan shut the laptop and shifted it to the cushion beside him. He gathered the blanket around his body to conceal the effect his heat was having on his body and he walked to the front door. Martyn was already there, closing the door behind Phil.

Dan grinned like a fool and launched himself at Phil. After taking a second to recover from his surprise, Phil wrapped his arms around Dan. “Hello, you. What was that for?”

“Just happy to see you,” Dan responded. There was a slight rumble accompanying his words and Dan realized that he was about to start purring, but he held the sound in and pulled back from Phil with an apologetic smile, wrapping the blanket tighter around his body as if he could hide beneath it in his embarrassment. “Didn’t mean to attack you as soon as you walked in the door. Sorry, I just missed you.”

“Missed you, too.” He looked at Martyn. “I know you were working, but you didn’t ignore him the whole time I was gone, did you?”

Martyn snorted. “No, Phil.”

“He was nice, Phil! Don’t be cross with him. He just wasn’t you.” Dan looked away, embarrassed.

“Okay,” Phil clapped his brother on the shoulder. “Thanks for your help today. I’m just going to change out of my work clothes, and then you can get going. I’m sure you want to go back to your place.”

Martyn nodded, and Phil started walking to his room. When his back was turned Martyn made eye contact with Dan and then glanced at the kitchen. He whispered, “Come, please.”

With a mix of apprehension and curiosity, Dan followed Phil’s brother to the kitchen. Martyn didn’t immediately indicate what he wanted as he started packing his laptop and papers into a bag. “What is it?” Dan asked.

“That hug you gave Phil…” Martyn said as he continued shuffling his papers. “I was just wondering what that was about. Did you ever talk to Phil? About the thing you said you were going to talk about?”

It took Dan a moment to remember the conversation he had with Martyn the last time they were together. “Oh! Yeah, we did talk about that.”

“You did?” Martyn looked up, his eyes wide with surprise. “How did he take it?”

Dan suddenly found it difficult to meet Martyn’s gaze. “It didn’t go the way I thought it would. Kind of the opposite.”

“He was upset when you said you didn’t like him?” Martyn whispered, glancing at the door to make sure that Phil wasn’t coming.

“No, I was the one who… No. I told him that I might like him.”

Martyn gaped at him. “Why did you do that? You said you weren’t going to hurt him.”

“What’s going on?” Phil was in the doorway, looking between their faces. Dan’s face was flushed, and he wasn’t sure if it was from his heat or shame. “What are you guys talking about?”

Martyn picked up his bag. “Nothing. Um, I’ll see you guys tomorrow. If you want me to come back.”

“Why wouldn’t I want you to come back?” Phil asked suspiciously.

Dan shook his head. “Don’t be silly, Martyn. Of course he’ll want you to come back.”

“No hard feelings?” Martyn asked with a sad smile. After Dan gave him a nod, he turned back to Phil. “Well, good night.”

Phil walked his brother to the door so he could lock it, and then he returned to the kitchen. “What was that about?”

Dan pulled the blanket tighter around himself.

Phil sat down at the table beside him. “Sorry, are you feeling okay?”

Dan gave him a small smile. “Not exactly, but don’t worry about it. Listen, about Martyn...” Phil nodded encouragingly, and Dan went on. “Don’t fight with him, not on my behalf. He’s just being protective of you.”

Phil frowned. “I’m used to it. He always has been. Well, except for this one time when I started going to the same school as him and he ditched me on the first day. Other than that, yeah, he’s always been there for me. Kind of annoying actually.”

“Don’t take it for granted.” Dan spoke with a hardness in his voice that seemed to get Phil’s attention. “Don’t throw that away. No one has ever looked out for me, not in the way your brother looks after you.”

“What did he do, though? Looked like a pretty tense conversation when I walked in.”

Dan shrugged. “That’s all it was – a conversation. He knows you like me, so he’s been asking about it. He’s just being protective of you. It’s fine.”

“Oh. Well, sorry about him. I should have told him not to bother you about it – I just didn’t realize that he knew I liked you.” Phil looked away. “Hey, have you had dinner yet?”

Dan shook his head.

[toomanysurveys9]

Are you independent or dependent? I am definitely both. But I feel like I’m starting to become more independent.

If you could put your life into a category, where would it go? I feel like this would be easier to answer if you gave a list of categories. I don’t know what kind of insight you’re looking for. <<< Yeah, I have no idea how to answer this. <<< Ditto.

How many animals do you have? Sooo. We have two dogs, one cat, and four rats. However, I have a total of six rats until I can get the bigger cage for the four I am keeping. My grandpa is taking two. My sister has a dog. My mom has a dog and a cat.

Are you popular? I have never been popular, and that hasn’t changed as an adult.

What time were you born? It was early evening I think? But I could be way off.

Have you had any candy this week? I have. My mom went a little crazy buying Halloween candy.

Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes? Tornadoes are more common around where I live, although I haven’t really had to deal with that devastation personally. I worry about family and a close friend that live in the south more since they do have hurricanes.

Do you like those nerd glasses? I’m not sure what this means.

Have you ever been in a fist fight? I’ve play wrestled, and that got intense on occasion, but that’s about it.

What color is your house? Light blue. Jacob wants to paint it dark brown.

When was the last time you saw a rainbow? It’s been awhile.

Have you ever ate a crayon? Not that I can recall, but it’s possible when I was a lot younger.

Ever rode in a helicopter? I don’t think so.

Do you like rabbits? Not as much as rats or ferrets, but yes.

Do you like mushrooms? Occasionally.

“It’s like you step into the room and just press play” What was the last movie you cried at? What to Expect When You’re Expecting. I forgot about the miscarriage storyline and it destroyed me.

What ice cream flavor best describes your personality? Chocolate because it’s my least favorite. Ha.

Would you rather work for a small or large company? I definitely prefer working for a smaller company. You’re not just a number... they actually see you as a person.

Where’s your favorite place to buy clothes? I usually just go to Walmart. I don’t know that I have a favorite since it’s the only place I go really.

How many languages do you speak? Just English.

What was the worst movie you’ve ever seen? I did not enjoy the paranormal or purge movies.

What video game have you played the most? Probably Mario Party.

What was your favorite TV show as a child? I really liked Invader Zim. Rugrats. Lizzie McGuire. Kim Possible. The Proud Family. Phil of the Future.

What’s your favorite sport? None. I’m not a huge fan of sports.

If you were given a brand new yacht, what would you name it? I don’t really know.

Do you believe there’s life on other planets? Not like E.T. but probably.

What was the worst place you ever traveled to? I don’t really know. There hasn’t been anywhere I haven’t really liked.

What is one thing you’re really bad at? Lately.. parenting. I’m getting frustrated because I’m not just parenting my kids, but my little sisters too.

Do you believe in angels? No.

Would you rather be a famous actor or musician? Musician.

“where have you been all my life?” If you could have invented one thing, what would it have been? Stuffed animals. They’re cute and fluffy.

What’s your favorite exercise workout? The treadmill.

What’s your favorite thing to do? I love spending time with my kiddos. And I really enjoy roadtrips and traveling. Reading, although I don’t get to do it enough.

What did you do for your 17th birthday? Hung out with Jacob and family. Nothing too much.

Does your local Wal Mart have benches in them to rest? Yeah.

Was your favorite stuffed animal really a teddy bear growing up? I tended to prefer dogs.

If your house was haunted, what would you do? If I believed in that... I don’t know.

Are you crazy in love currently? I wouldn’t say so.

Are you good at swimming? I’m okay. Not as good as Jacob.

What’s worse: Slow internet or slow walkers? Slow internet. I can’t handle it. Lol.

What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? Use me.

Do you sleep with the sheets tucked in or out? Out.

What do you do to fall asleep faster? I usually just play on my phone until I pass out.

Do you carry a bottle of water wherever you go? Sometimes, but not often enough..

Ae you afraid that one day you might get cancer? I’m terrified of that. I’m not totally convinced I don’t currently have it. My brain is fun.

“Letters to Juliet” Are you a fast or slow walker? Fast-ish.

Do you usually have to wear a belt with your pants? I don’t wear belts.

Does it bother you when people’s underwear hangs out? It’s mostly whatever.

Are you usually the person to try new things with your hair? Just fun colors usually.

When’s your birthday? September 1.

Do you own a bobble-head toy? Nope.

What color was the towel you used to dry off with today after a shower? I haven’t showered yet. It’s on my to do list.

Has anyone ever walked you home? Yeah.

Have you ever liked someone and they were taken? Yup.

When was the last time you went fishing? This past summer.

True or false: You’ve read the book Lord of the Flies? False.

Have you heard of the band Yellowcard? Yeah.

Have you ever seen the show Teen Wolf? I have seen bits and pieces but wasn’t into it.

Do you have any quotes, lyrics etc on your walls? I have a Nightmare Before Christmas clock made out of a record and it has a quote. Are you a fan of Star Wars? Yeah.

“Our parents never let us cross the street, but we did it anyway” Has anyone ever told you that you have nice hair? Yeah.

What brand of camera do you own? Canon Rebel T7.

Is there something you’re not looking forward to? Leaving my kids for the weekend to go to GA for a wedding.

Have you ever read the book Thirteen Reasons Why? Yeah.

Do you wear white pants? Noooo.

When was the last time you were really angry? Not too long ago because I was working on school and kids weren’t listening.

Have you ever made a 3 pointer in a basketball game? I doubt it.

Do you think you look better with your hair up or down? It’s hella short right now so doesn’t matter.

Do you warm up before you hardcore exercise? No.

Do you want a pair of Converse shoes? I have some.

Are you more of a studs or hoops type of person when it comes to earrings? Studs.

How many shirts do you have of your favorite band? None.

Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? I’m in a different room.

Have you ever wore a tie before? No.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? Honey nut cheerios.

“For the Krusty Krab” Are you good at art? I wish, but no.

How many times have you read your favorite book? A lot.

Name one thing that you really hate. Abusive people.

Have you ever tried walking on stilts? Nope.

Is there a war that you find interesting? World War 2.

Would you rather live in the city or country? I think it’d be better for us if we lived more in the country.

Do you think $7 is too much for a movie ticket? They’re more than that, which is why we don’t really go.

Would you like to be a newscast person? Nooo.

Do you like word searches, coloring or crosswords better? Word searches and sometimes coloring. But I don’t have patience for adult coloring books.

Close your eyes and press a random key on the keyboard. f

How many William’s do you know? A few.

What time did you wake up this morning? I don’t know. I woke up several times.

Do you enjoy crutches? Never used them.

What’s better: Snapple or Arizona tea? I like the Arizona juices.

Make a word out of the word: Dinosaur. Sand.

“she said I love this song, I’ve heard it before” When you were younger, did you play with legos? Yeah. Loved them.

Do you like Trix cereal? Not anymore.

Do you get nervous easily? Ugh. Yes.

How long is your Facebook password? Ha.

Do you like the movie Mean Girls? I do.

How do you want your wedding to be? I’m already married.

Have you seen the movie or show Catfish? I’ve seen bits and pieces of the show.

Do you hate it when you arrive to something early? I’d rather be early than late.

Have you ever been on Omegle? Not that I remember.

Are you still in love with one of your exes? NOOO.

Do you think it’s attractive when guys wear beanies? Depends on the guy.

What’s something that makes you feel shy in public? Being in public. Lol.

Do you like the shows on MTV? I guess so, yeah.

If you could go back and relive one day, what day? I couldn’t pick one. It’d be a toss up between when Wyatt or Eliana was born, but probably when Eliana was born because Wyatt was already here too.

What’s one word you hate to be called? Bitch.

[ponyregrets]

When Asked to Make a Point, I Tend to Whisper

Just some quick Minty fluff for @madgesundersee! Also on AO3.

Nate would not say he identifies as a caretaker. It's not like he's bad at it, but he doesn't think it comes naturally to him. He has to work for it.

Part of that is Bellamy's fault. After all, when your best friend is basically the ultimate mother hen/parent friend, and his girlfriend worries about things on a semi-professional level, it's hard to feel as if you're really necessary for the whole process. Like cooking for yourself when your roommate is a five-star chef who's happy to share--sure he could help out in a crisis situation, but it's a lot easier to just let Bellamy and Clarke tell him what to do.

But now Monty is sick. And he's the kind of sick where Bellamy and Clarke aren't going to go over to his apartment to babysit him, because they (thankfully) still have some sense of boundaries, which means that Monty is alone, and sick, and kind of miserable, and Nate's not really willing to let him do that alone.

Overall, it's a terrible situation and Nate wishes none of them were in it. But they are, so he's going to do his fucking best.

"Are you dying?" is Bellamy's greeting when he picks up the phone.

"Why would I be dying?" Nate grumbles. "I'm at CVS."

"You've never called me," says Bellamy. "Like, ever. In our entire lives. I honestly thought this was a butt dial."

"That's how you answer butt dials? Are you dying?"

"Better safe than sorry. Seriously, why are you calling? What are you doing in CVS?"

Nate exhales, counts to five in his head, and admits, "I'm making a care package for Monty. What should I get?"

To his credit, Bellamy recognizes that now is not the time for mockery. The time for mockery is definitely whenever Monty is better and Nate is just pining away embarrassingly again. As is the natural order of things.

"Which CVS are you at? Davis?"

"Yeah."

"Don't buy canned soup. He's sick, he deserves fresh soup. I'm going to find a place for you to get some. Are you assuming he has medicine?"

"Jesus, I'm already sorry I asked."

"Actually, I bet Clarke knows." There's a fuzzy sound as Bellamy covers the speaker, but Nate can still hear him say, "Clarke, how's Monty doing with medicine?" A pause, and then Bellamy, "Cough drops would be good."

"You guys are creepy."

"You called me. Because you're making a care package. So I'd shut the fuck up if I were you."

"Thanks, good feedback. What else?"

The problem with asking Bellamy for advice on what to buy for a sick friend is that he's honestly completely over the top, but he's also right. So Nate leaves CVS with a completely excessive amount of stuff, all of which felt totally necessary when Bellamy was listing it off.

"I still need soup?" he asks, dubious.

"Just if you want him to feel better," says Bellamy, and Nate sighs.

His excuse for doing this in the first place is that he and Monty don't live that far apart, and Monty's roommate is out of town. But the real reason he's doing it is that he has a crush, and he's worried, and he doesn't like the idea of Monty alone. It's weird, but survivably weird, even if Monty is creeped out.

Again, it's the beauty of Bellamy.

"If he thinks this is too much, I'm going to say it was your idea."

"If he thinks this is too much, you should say you want to date him. That would explain it and you might actually get laid."

"Helpful," says Nate.

"You have any idea how many times you told me I should just ask Clarke out already? Because I don't. You said it way too much. I lost count."

"Yeah, but I was right."

"Uh huh. Get the fucking soup, Miller."

He gets the fucking soup, and Bellamy wishes him luck, and then, because he’s Bellamy, adds, “Let me know how he’s doing.”

“Is there some kind of Guinness record for worrying you're trying to set?”

“You called me. I was just going to let him take care of himself. Don't act like this was all my idea.”

It’s an annoyingly valid point that Nate can’t really dispute, so he ignores it. “I’ll keep you posted,” he says instead.

“You’re an asshole,” says Bellamy. “Don’t get sick.”

“If I do, you’ll take care of me.”

“Shut up,” he says, without heat, and then the line goes dead.

He is, Nate has to admit, a basically perfect best friend.

Nate and Monty live in the same neighborhood, just in different directions from the train. He couldn’t casually stop by Monty’s on his way home, which is part of why he just called Bellamy for the CVS run. He is obviously and undeniably going out of his way, so he might as well do it right.

He pushes the buzzer at Monty’s apartment and waits for the intercom to crackle into life. It doesn’t take long, which means Monty was neither asleep nor dead. So that’s something.

“Hey, it’s Miller,” he says.

There’s a pause. “Miller?”

“Thought you might need some stuff.”

The door clicks open, and Nate heads up the two flights of stairs to Monty’s floor. He hasn’t been here a lot, but he knows which apartment is Monty and Jasper’s. And even if he didn’t, they have a Star Trek doormat, so he would have figured it out.

Monty opens the door in nothing but a pair of pajama pants. His hair is in uneven spikes on his head, and it’s a good thing he’s sniffling and visibly exhausted, or Nate would probably be too attracted to him to function.

“Miller,” he says, sounding kind of blank.

Nate holds up his bag. “I brought soup.”

Monty blinks a few times, and then actually startles into alertness. “Oh my god, you brought me soup.”

“Yeah,” he says. “And some other stuff.”

For the first time, Monty looks away from Nate’s face to focus on the bags he’s carrying, and his eyes widen in surprise.

“Holy shit, you brought me a lot of soup.”

“Most of it isn’t soup. Can I come in or you just want me to drop it off and leave?”

“No!” he says quickly. He clears his throat. “Come in. Obviously. Thank you so much. You really didn’t have to. I told Clarke I was fine.”

“It’s not like it’s far for me.”

“But still. You didn’t have to.”

“No problem, I don’t mind. Go sit down. You hungry now? Want the soup? Juice? Cough drops?”

“Soup would be good. What kind of soup?”

“Chicken noodle. The standard.”

“Seriously, thank you so much. I think there’s cranberry juice in the fridge? And obviously, you know, whatever you want, it’s—“

The end of his sentence is lost in a fit of coughing, and Nate gets him soup, juice, and some cough syrup before he goes back to the kitchen to unload the rest of the stuff. It is a lot of stuff, but it wasn’t that expensive, and Jasper’s gone until next week. Honestly, he should just text Monty to see if he needs anything on his way home from now on. Now that the ice is broken.

“Are you washing my dishes?” Monty calls.

It’s a question Nate doesn’t want to answer, but it’s also hard to avoid. “You’ve got a dishwasher. I’m just rinsing them before they go in. Go to sleep.”

It doesn’t work, of course. Monty comes into the kitchen wrapped in a blanket and collapses into a chair.

“How much is Bellamy paying you?”

“He’s not paying me. I don’t mind.”

“I’m really fine. Okay, not fine,” he corrects, before Nate can object. “But I can wash my own dishes. This is seriously not necessary.”

“It’s fine, Monty. I know Jasper’s out of town. I don’t mind helping. You should just focus on getting better.”

He blinks a few more times. “Is this a fever dream? If you’re a fever dream, can you tell me you’re a fever dream? Do you know?”

“Do you have a fever now?” Nate asks. “I thought it was just a cold.”

“I no longer trust my perception of reality. Please stop doing my dishes.”

He snorts. “I had no idea it was that weird.”

“They’re my dishes.”

“Well, they’re done now. So you’re good. Did you actually eat the soup?”

“Some of it, yeah. Just—you’re here.”

“I can leave.”

“No, that’s not—“ He makes a face. “I didn’t expect Bellamy and Clarke to send a representative. I told them I was fine.”

“Like I said, it’s not far.” Since Monty has now twice told him not to leave, he figures he can press his luck. “Want to watch a movie?”

“Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Yeah.”

He opens and closes his mouth, finally settles on, “What did you have in mind?”

Nate bites back on his grin. “Whatever you want. Sick guy picks.”

“Thanks,” he says. “You know, for the whole deal.”

“No problem. My pleasure.”

*

He texts Monty to ask if he needs anything Wednesday and Thursday, and when the answer is no both times, he says he’s coming over on Friday and asks what to bring, which works a lot better and means Monty gets groceries. He’s clearly most of the way better, and they play some video games and Nate leaves in good spirits. He might not be great at this, but he did his best. He definitely didn't make it worse.

The next Thursday, his own door buzzer goes off around 6:15, which he doesn’t connect to the whole sickness thing until he turns on the intercom and a voice says, “Hey, it’s Monty, I have pizza.”

Nate takes a second to assess himself; he changed into a t-shirt and pajama pants after he got home, but it’s not like those are inappropriate for company. He thinks he looks fine, and Monty would probably find it weird if he asked for time to change.

“Uh, cool,” he says. “Come on up.”

When he opens the door, Monty is there, holding a pizza, as promised. He looks better, less pale and more rested, his hair a little more orderly. He's still Monty, so he's wearing jeans and a Mario t-shirt, but that's part of why Nate likes him.

He still has no idea what's happening.

"Hey," he says. "What's up?"

"I owed you. So--pizza."

"You really didn't. You were sick, I was closest. I didn't mind helping out. But I never say no to pizza," he adds. "Come on in. You ready for alcohol or still feeling sick?"

"I'm always ready for alcohol."

"Beer good?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"You can put the pizza on the coffee table, I'll grab drinks and plates."

They get set up in the living room, and Nate wants to ask why Monty's really here, but he's kind of afraid that if he does, Monty will decide to leave. It makes no fucking sense, but he knows better than to look a gift horse in the mouth.

So it's Monty who offers, "Clarke told me that she and Bellamy didn't tell you to come over last week."

Nate's taking a bite of pizza that he nearly chokes on, and he has to finish it and have some beer before he manages, "What?"

"I thought they made you come. Clarke told me it was your idea, not theirs."

Nate reviews the interaction he had with Monty last week, but he's pretty sure he never actually said Bellamy and Clarke sent him. He just sort of let Monty assume. "Yeah. I was worried, I live close by, it wasn't like it was hard to stop by."

"And you called Bellamy to find out what to get."

That makes him feel a little more embarrassed. Calling Bellamy is a lot of effort. "Well, he's the expert. I figured he'd know."

"Yeah." He wets his lips. "So, that was either really considerate of you as a friend or really considerate of you as someone who wants to date me. Which, like, I guess that's true of everything? Not always considerate, but, like--" He huffs. "Anyway. You could tell me which one? Just in case it's, you know, the dating me one. Which would be cool. I'd like that. But if it's not I appreciate it and I'm sorry if I made things weird and--"

"It's the dating one," Nate says. "You can breathe."

He grins. "Oh, good. Because the pizza was supposed to be a first date if you were interested, so--are you free tonight?"

Nate feels a smile tugging at his own lips. "Not anymore."

"Perfect," says Monty.

He leans in for a kiss, and, Nate has to admit, it really is perfect.

[israelgcgq059-blog]

7 Answers to the Most Frequently Asked Questions About digimon world dawn

Gotta Catch 'Em All

No doubt that, the attraction of online flash games will not end. With over a 1000 Digimon to choose from, there can be something for everybody in the wonderful world of Digimon. With all sorts of cool Digimon, highlighted in the anime, manga, video games, and card game, it could be hard to narrow it right down to just 10, but with some effort and determination, we could actually discover 10 that represented every facet of the series. Which Digimon do you consider is the coolest? Are there any Digimon you think must have been on the list? Tell us in the comments below. A sequel to the popular anime series which accumulates after a 2 . 5 calendar year timeskip. Naruto returns to the Konoha village after teaching under Jiraiya. He still hasn't abadndoned Sasuke, who now became a member of forces with Akatsuki to achieve his own goals. However, Naruto is in more danger than ever as Akatsuki increase their attempts to hunt the Tailed Beasts.

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[velmaemyers88]

In Conversation with Danny Trejo: From Character Actor to Taco Mogul

The actor talked to Fortune about his adventures in Hollywood and with Trejo’s Tacos.

Nothing about Danny Trejo is what you might expect, including his secret to success.

“Everything good that’s happened to me is a direct result of me helping other people,” says Trejo, 75, whose surprisingly compact 5-foot-6 frame—clad in all black, his long dark hair hanging loose alongside a silver cross necklace—is tucked inside a booth at the Hollywood hub of his booming taco business, Trejo’s Cantina.

His soft-spoken reflectiveness and fondness for high-fives belie a life that could have gone very differently: Born to Mexican-American parents in Los Angeles, Trejo spent most of his young-adult life in and out of California prisons for drugs and robberies. It was during that time and since then that he honed his boxing talents (a helpful skill in venues like San Quentin), got sober at 25, became a prolific character actor, and, from working as a youth drug counselor and motivational speaker, discovered how much he loves giving back.

Danny Trejo inside the kitchen at Trejo’s Tacos on July 11, 2019. Photograph by Joe Toreno for Fortune

Today, Trejo’s iconic craggy visage fronts eight Trejo’s Tacos locations across Los Angeles, and the eats are a hit: The Los Angeles Times named the rainbow cauliflower tacos on its 2017 list of 10 favorite recipes; the Cantina location serves around 500 diners a day on weekends; and there’s talk of expanding the business, which now includes a doughnut shop, outside California. (He’s also recently launched Trejo’s Cerveza, currently for sale at L.A.-area Whole Foods and Total Wine.) Somehow Trejo also still has time for acting: He’ll soon add 20-plus roles to his nearly 300-credit film and TV résumé, including a second Machete sequel and August’s Dora and the Lost City of Gold, in which he voices a monkey named Boots, a role Trejo says proudly “will give me a whole new audience.”

Fortune chatted with Trejo in early July about his food-mogul renaissance, his adventures in Hollywood, and how he learned to channel a misspent youth into a force for good.

Fortune: Trejo’s Tacos feels like an L.A. institution, yet it’s only three years old. What inspired you to get into the restaurant business?

Trejo: My mom was a gourmet cook. When I around 12, I’d say, “We should start a restaurant,” but my dad was like a Mexican Archie Bunker. “Hey, we’ve got a kitchen right there!” [Laughs] Seven years ago I did a low-budget movie called Bad Ass, and one of the producers, Ash Shah, noticed that I didn’t like junk food. I am pretty picky! A few movies later, Ash says, “Danny, you should start a restaurant.” He created a business plan for Trejo’s Tacos. My team said, “If nobody’s asking you to front 50 grand, seems like a good idea!” We opened, and it totally blew up. Two years ago we opened the doughnut shop, and we sell out by 2 p.m. every day.

Anthony Bourdain raved about your tacos when he filmed Parts Unknown here in 2017. What was that day like for you?

Amazing. He joked, “You’re Mexican and you have a cauliflower taco?” He loved it. At around five or six o’clock at night, you’ll see a lot families coming in here. One woman told me, “Thank God for this place.” The kids can be gluten-free, mom can be vegetarian, and Dad can have cow!

Trejo’s Tacos offers gluten free and vegetarian taco options. Photograph by Joe Toreno for Fortune

What’s your favorite thing on the menu?

I love the nachos with steak and two eggs on top for breakfast.

Your latest incarnation as a restaurateur is another twist in an already surreal career. To what do you attribute your staying power?

I have good people around me. The same agent for 25 years. I met my assistant Mario at San Quentin when I made a movie there, and he was a prisoner. He’s been with me for 15 years.

You were discovered while working as a boxing coach on the set of the 1985 Jon Voight movie Runaway Train. But it wasn’t until you were cast as the knife-throwing Navajas in your cousin Robert Rodriguez’s 1995 film Desperado that you started to play substantial roles. Is it true you didn’t know you were related until shooting began?

We first met when I auditioned in L.A. He said, “You remind me of the bad guys in my high school.” I said, “I am the bad guys from your high school!” Then we filmed in Acuña, Mexico. My family from San Antonio visited the set. My Uncle Rudy says, “Who’s that?” I say, “Robert Rodriguez, the director.” He whistles at Robert, “Hey! Say hello to your second cousin Danny!” I was like, “What’s up, cousin? Make my role bigger!” But he didn’t. He said, “Danny, you can do more with your face than most actors can with dialogue.” I’m walking around with no shirt, all these tattoos, people asking for my autograph. Robert says, “They think you’re the star.” I said, “You mean I’m not?” Nobody really knew [lead actor] Antonio Banderas at the time. He was quiet—unlike me. [Laughs]

Trejo’s Tacos and Trejo’s Coffee merchandise on display for purchase. Two years ago, Trejo opened a doughnut shop that sells out by 2 p.m. every day. Photograph by Joe Toreno for Fortune

Robert went on to create the vigilante-hero character Machete for you. How did he evolve from a minor character in the Spy Kids franchise to fronting two, soon-to-be three features?

After he put Uncle Machete in Spy Kids, Robert did the Grindhouse movies [with director Quentin Tarantino], and they needed fake movie trailers. One was for a Machete movie. At the premiere, everybody was like, “You have to do that movie.” Machete was the first Mexican superhero. I was almost in tears when I saw 8-year-old kids dressed like him on Halloween.

Of all the people you’ve worked with, when have you felt the most starstruck?

With Robert De Niro, when we did Heat. Then Robert [Rodriguez] somehow got him to do Machete! I see him on the set and he says, “Well, well, well, number one on the call sheet now, eh?” I was like, “Can I get you some coffee, Mr. De Niro?” [Laughs]

For what roles are you most often recognized when you’re out in the world? Seeing your severed head on a turtle in season two of Breaking Bad left quite an impression with fans.

Spy Kids. Machete. Anchorman. Bubble Boy. And every Mexican I know loves Blood In, Blood Out. For Breaking Bad, I remember my agent saying, “Danny, you’re going to have a Hollywood first: You’re going to go across the desert on a turtle.” I’m thinking it’s a cartoon, or a really big turtle? “Actually, no. It’s just your head.” [Laughs]

A lot of your roles lean campy, but you’ve also acted in serious films like Maggie Gyllenhaal’s Sherrybaby about a mother who’s a drug-addicted ex-con. When did you think to yourself, “Wait, I can actually act?”

I’m a drug counselor at a place called Western Pacific Rehab. A few years ago, my son Gilbert cast me in a drug-themed movie he wrote called From a Son. There’s a scene where I break down and cry. I’d never had to do that in a movie. I was thinking I’d do a John Wayne, tough-guy thing, but my son…shit, he’s so brilliant. He reminded me of stuff from when he was young. He showed me a picture of us from 1985, when he was a little baby. Then, I couldn’t stop crying. I didn’t even cry at my parents’ funerals.

Trejo’s silver cross necklace and watch. Photograph by Joe Toreno for Fortune

Did you surprise yourself in that moment?

Completely. I thought, “Wow, okay, this must be acting.”

Your son is named after your Uncle Gilbert, who you’ve said led you down a path of crime when you were a teenager. What do you remember about that time?

My dad came from a family of 11, and Gilbert was the youngest. He was only six years older than me. I had no siblings, so he was like my older brother. Unfortunately, he was also an armed robber and a drug addict. He showed me how to rob when I was 14. He gave me a sawed-off shotgun and put me in front of a mirror to practice. “Give me your money, bitch. I’ll slap you!”

Your first acting job.

[Laughs] Yes. We robbed an Asian grocery store together called Far East Market in Burbank. We had a revolver, but you had to hold it just so or it would fall apart. I go, “Give me the money! Give me the money!” The woman gives me $8 from the cash register. I grabbed it, and we ran down Lankershim as this guy comes out of the back, screaming, with a hatchet!

How do you feel now about the crimes you committed?

I feel regret. I’ve never been mean, but I’ve also never let anybody take advantage of me. In prison you’re predator or prey. My friend Cookie and I had a protection ring for young kids coming in, including for gay couples who’d been married on the streets. When I got out of the pen, I’d get cards from kids we protected. Their parents also said thank you.

Did your own parents live to see your success?

My mom did. My dad saw me get sober but never saw me get into acting. He would have laughed. Even my mom was like, “Get a job, mijo,” even after I’d worked with Robert De Niro in Heat! She did get excited when I was on The Young and the Restless in 2008. She had four of her friends over to watch, and they were like, “Oh, my God.” That was it. I’d made it.

Over the years you’ve appeared in dozens of commercials and ads—selling products from Snickers to AARP—and you’re now a spokesman for the erectile dysfunction product Giddy. What appealed to you about tackling that taboo subject?

We don’t talk anything in our society—condoms in high school, birth control. We definitely don’t talk about erectile dysfunction, especially in the Hispanic community. I don’t know a man who hasn’t experienced it. I think it’s like everything I do—teaching people to neuter their dogs, warning kids about drugs, you need to show them you’re cool. You need a face like this to get through to them. Not so much as “Danny Trejo” but the guy from Spy Kids, the guy from Heat, the guy from Desperado. People think, “Okay, I want to hear what this guy has to say.”

More must-read stories from Fortune:

—Woodstock 50 lives on for now. But here’s how it all unraveled

—‘Once Upon a Time in Hollywood’ debut overperforms—but can its spell last?

—Amazon’s TV bosses want to remind you (again) why they’re not Netflix

—A taste of Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul’s new mezcal

—Listen to our new audio briefing, Fortune 500 Daily

Follow Fortune on Flipboard to stay up-to-date on the latest news and analysis.

Credit: Source link

The post In Conversation with Danny Trejo: From Character Actor to Taco Mogul appeared first on WeeklyReviewer.

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[weeklyreviewer]

In Conversation with Danny Trejo: From Character Actor to Taco Mogul

The actor talked to Fortune about his adventures in Hollywood and with Trejo’s Tacos.

Nothing about Danny Trejo is what you might expect, including his secret to success.

“Everything good that’s happened to me is a direct result of me helping other people,” says Trejo, 75, whose surprisingly compact 5-foot-6 frame—clad in all black, his long dark hair hanging loose alongside a silver cross necklace—is tucked inside a booth at the Hollywood hub of his booming taco business, Trejo’s Cantina.

His soft-spoken reflectiveness and fondness for high-fives belie a life that could have gone very differently: Born to Mexican-American parents in Los Angeles, Trejo spent most of his young-adult life in and out of California prisons for drugs and robberies. It was during that time and since then that he honed his boxing talents (a helpful skill in venues like San Quentin), got sober at 25, became a prolific character actor, and, from working as a youth drug counselor and motivational speaker, discovered how much he loves giving back.

Danny Trejo inside the kitchen at Trejo’s Tacos on July 11, 2019. Photograph by Joe Toreno for Fortune

Today, Trejo’s iconic craggy visage fronts eight Trejo’s Tacos locations across Los Angeles, and the eats are a hit: The Los Angeles Times named the rainbow cauliflower tacos on its 2017 list of 10 favorite recipes; the Cantina location serves around 500 diners a day on weekends; and there’s talk of expanding the business, which now includes a doughnut shop, outside California. (He’s also recently launched Trejo’s Cerveza, currently for sale at L.A.-area Whole Foods and Total Wine.) Somehow Trejo also still has time for acting: He’ll soon add 20-plus roles to his nearly 300-credit film and TV résumé, including a second Machete sequel and August’s Dora and the Lost City of Gold, in which he voices a monkey named Boots, a role Trejo says proudly “will give me a whole new audience.”

Fortune chatted with Trejo in early July about his food-mogul renaissance, his adventures in Hollywood, and how he learned to channel a misspent youth into a force for good.

Fortune: Trejo’s Tacos feels like an L.A. institution, yet it’s only three years old. What inspired you to get into the restaurant business?

Trejo: My mom was a gourmet cook. When I around 12, I’d say, “We should start a restaurant,” but my dad was like a Mexican Archie Bunker. “Hey, we’ve got a kitchen right there!” [Laughs] Seven years ago I did a low-budget movie called Bad Ass, and one of the producers, Ash Shah, noticed that I didn’t like junk food. I am pretty picky! A few movies later, Ash says, “Danny, you should start a restaurant.” He created a business plan for Trejo’s Tacos. My team said, “If nobody’s asking you to front 50 grand, seems like a good idea!” We opened, and it totally blew up. Two years ago we opened the doughnut shop, and we sell out by 2 p.m. every day.

Anthony Bourdain raved about your tacos when he filmed Parts Unknown here in 2017. What was that day like for you?

Amazing. He joked, “You’re Mexican and you have a cauliflower taco?” He loved it. At around five or six o’clock at night, you’ll see a lot families coming in here. One woman told me, “Thank God for this place.” The kids can be gluten-free, mom can be vegetarian, and Dad can have cow!

Trejo’s Tacos offers gluten free and vegetarian taco options. Photograph by Joe Toreno for Fortune

What’s your favorite thing on the menu?

I love the nachos with steak and two eggs on top for breakfast.

Your latest incarnation as a restaurateur is another twist in an already surreal career. To what do you attribute your staying power?

I have good people around me. The same agent for 25 years. I met my assistant Mario at San Quentin when I made a movie there, and he was a prisoner. He’s been with me for 15 years.

You were discovered while working as a boxing coach on the set of the 1985 Jon Voight movie Runaway Train. But it wasn’t until you were cast as the knife-throwing Navajas in your cousin Robert Rodriguez’s 1995 film Desperado that you started to play substantial roles. Is it true you didn’t know you were related until shooting began?

We first met when I auditioned in L.A. He said, “You remind me of the bad guys in my high school.” I said, “I am the bad guys from your high school!” Then we filmed in Acuña, Mexico. My family from San Antonio visited the set. My Uncle Rudy says, “Who’s that?” I say, “Robert Rodriguez, the director.” He whistles at Robert, “Hey! Say hello to your second cousin Danny!” I was like, “What’s up, cousin? Make my role bigger!” But he didn’t. He said, “Danny, you can do more with your face than most actors can with dialogue.” I’m walking around with no shirt, all these tattoos, people asking for my autograph. Robert says, “They think you’re the star.” I said, “You mean I’m not?” Nobody really knew [lead actor] Antonio Banderas at the time. He was quiet—unlike me. [Laughs]

Trejo’s Tacos and Trejo’s Coffee merchandise on display for purchase. Two years ago, Trejo opened a doughnut shop that sells out by 2 p.m. every day. Photograph by Joe Toreno for Fortune

Robert went on to create the vigilante-hero character Machete for you. How did he evolve from a minor character in the Spy Kids franchise to fronting two, soon-to-be three features?

After he put Uncle Machete in Spy Kids, Robert did the Grindhouse movies [with director Quentin Tarantino], and they needed fake movie trailers. One was for a Machete movie. At the premiere, everybody was like, “You have to do that movie.” Machete was the first Mexican superhero. I was almost in tears when I saw 8-year-old kids dressed like him on Halloween.

Of all the people you’ve worked with, when have you felt the most starstruck?

With Robert De Niro, when we did Heat. Then Robert [Rodriguez] somehow got him to do Machete! I see him on the set and he says, “Well, well, well, number one on the call sheet now, eh?” I was like, “Can I get you some coffee, Mr. De Niro?” [Laughs]

For what roles are you most often recognized when you’re out in the world? Seeing your severed head on a turtle in season two of Breaking Bad left quite an impression with fans.

Spy Kids. Machete. Anchorman. Bubble Boy. And every Mexican I know loves Blood In, Blood Out. For Breaking Bad, I remember my agent saying, “Danny, you’re going to have a Hollywood first: You’re going to go across the desert on a turtle.” I’m thinking it’s a cartoon, or a really big turtle? “Actually, no. It’s just your head.” [Laughs]

A lot of your roles lean campy, but you’ve also acted in serious films like Maggie Gyllenhaal’s Sherrybaby about a mother who’s a drug-addicted ex-con. When did you think to yourself, “Wait, I can actually act?”

I’m a drug counselor at a place called Western Pacific Rehab. A few years ago, my son Gilbert cast me in a drug-themed movie he wrote called From a Son. There’s a scene where I break down and cry. I’d never had to do that in a movie. I was thinking I’d do a John Wayne, tough-guy thing, but my son…shit, he’s so brilliant. He reminded me of stuff from when he was young. He showed me a picture of us from 1985, when he was a little baby. Then, I couldn’t stop crying. I didn’t even cry at my parents’ funerals.

Trejo’s silver cross necklace and watch. Photograph by Joe Toreno for Fortune

Did you surprise yourself in that moment?

Completely. I thought, “Wow, okay, this must be acting.”

Your son is named after your Uncle Gilbert, who you’ve said led you down a path of crime when you were a teenager. What do you remember about that time?

My dad came from a family of 11, and Gilbert was the youngest. He was only six years older than me. I had no siblings, so he was like my older brother. Unfortunately, he was also an armed robber and a drug addict. He showed me how to rob when I was 14. He gave me a sawed-off shotgun and put me in front of a mirror to practice. “Give me your money, bitch. I’ll slap you!”

Your first acting job.

[Laughs] Yes. We robbed an Asian grocery store together called Far East Market in Burbank. We had a revolver, but you had to hold it just so or it would fall apart. I go, “Give me the money! Give me the money!” The woman gives me $8 from the cash register. I grabbed it, and we ran down Lankershim as this guy comes out of the back, screaming, with a hatchet!

How do you feel now about the crimes you committed?

I feel regret. I’ve never been mean, but I’ve also never let anybody take advantage of me. In prison you’re predator or prey. My friend Cookie and I had a protection ring for young kids coming in, including for gay couples who’d been married on the streets. When I got out of the pen, I’d get cards from kids we protected. Their parents also said thank you.

Did your own parents live to see your success?

My mom did. My dad saw me get sober but never saw me get into acting. He would have laughed. Even my mom was like, “Get a job, mijo,” even after I’d worked with Robert De Niro in Heat! She did get excited when I was on The Young and the Restless in 2008. She had four of her friends over to watch, and they were like, “Oh, my God.” That was it. I’d made it.

Over the years you’ve appeared in dozens of commercials and ads—selling products from Snickers to AARP—and you’re now a spokesman for the erectile dysfunction product Giddy. What appealed to you about tackling that taboo subject?

We don’t talk anything in our society—condoms in high school, birth control. We definitely don’t talk about erectile dysfunction, especially in the Hispanic community. I don’t know a man who hasn’t experienced it. I think it’s like everything I do—teaching people to neuter their dogs, warning kids about drugs, you need to show them you’re cool. You need a face like this to get through to them. Not so much as “Danny Trejo” but the guy from Spy Kids, the guy from Heat, the guy from Desperado. People think, “Okay, I want to hear what this guy has to say.”

More must-read stories from Fortune:

—Woodstock 50 lives on for now. But here’s how it all unraveled

—‘Once Upon a Time in Hollywood’ debut overperforms—but can its spell last?

—Amazon’s TV bosses want to remind you (again) why they’re not Netflix

—A taste of Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul’s new mezcal

—Listen to our new audio briefing, Fortune 500 Daily

Follow Fortune on Flipboard to stay up-to-date on the latest news and analysis.

Credit: Source link

The post In Conversation with Danny Trejo: From Character Actor to Taco Mogul appeared first on WeeklyReviewer.

from WeeklyReviewer https://weeklyreviewer.com/in-conversation-with-danny-trejo-from-character-actor-to-taco-mogul/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=in-conversation-with-danny-trejo-from-character-actor-to-taco-mogul

[marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer]

MTVS Epic Rewatch #160

BTVS 6x10 Wrecked

Stray Thoughts

1) To me, “Wrecked” is “Dead Man’s Party”/”Empty Places” levels of uncomfortable to watch. It’s worse than a train wreck because you’re not morbidly compelled to watch in spite of yourself. I had to will myself to watch this, that’s how dreadful it was for me. Even more so because I find it hard to buy the parallels the writers were so eager to draw between Willow’s and Buffy’s predicament. Yes, Buffy and Willow are far removed from the characters we grew to love in the early seasons. Willow is hooked on magic, smug and reckless. Buffy is depressed, detached and apathetic. The difference is, Willow has found herself on a path she chose for herself (the writers suddenly deciding to equate magic with drugs does not negate the fact that Willow came to magic of her own volition and that the show had not treated magic as a drug prior to this season...), while Buffy is trying to deal with the wreckage of a situation that was thrust upon her without her consent (by none other than Willow...) Moreover, Willow’s abuse of magic and recklessness have tangible repercussions on those around her. It’s not even that her friends might suffer collateral damage, she had been actively using magic to manipulate and abuse them. Buffy’s “drug”, on the other hand, is Spike. While her relationship with him was definitely unhealthy, she wasn’t hurting anyone other than probably herself and Spike (although that’s not the reason why by the end of the episode she chose to stay away from him - sparing his feelings wasn’t her priority, she was trying to protect her friends ¿?) I think there’s a big difference between “My friends won’t like/will disapprove of what I’m doing with my life [the person I’m banging]” and “I am emotionally and physically hurting my friends with what I’m doing with my life [abusing magic]”

So, while I can understand why Buffy is reluctant to continue her affair with Spike (and tbh even as a Spuffy shipper I wish she would’ve drawn the line here), her sleeping with Spike is hardly equivalent to Willow’s abuse of magic in terms of the consequences for those around them. 

Okay, long introduction over. I just had to get that off my chest before it had been nagging at me since I finished the episode. 

2) 

BUFFY: When... When did the building fall down? SPIKE: I don't know. Must have been sometime between the first time and the, uh...

3) 

SPIKE: I just don't see why you have to run off so quick. Thought we could...

BUFFY: Not gonna happen. Last night was the end of this freak show.

SPIKE: Don't say that.

BUFFY: What did you think was gonna happen? What, we're gonna read the newspaper together, play footsie under the rubble?

Buffy wasn’t really tactful, but she was making a good point. 

4) Of course, even if she didn’t picture babies and a house in the suburbs with Spike, she does enjoy fooling around with him. And I get it, girl. It doesn’t last too long, though, because Spike being Spike he had to be all gross and...

SPIKE: I knew. I knew the only thing better than killing a slayer would be f... BUFFY: What?!

That sets her off, and she quickly dismisses his theory that she’s a vampire groupie by setting Angel apart from him and calling Spike “convenient”. 

And while that’s true, I don’t think it was only about “convenience”. If she only needed to have sex with someone, she could’ve tried and find someone else. Someone she wasn’t supposedly disgusted by. Or a dildo, which is far less problematic and occasionally far more efficient, lbr. And while Spike was convenient in the sense that A) he was there, and B) he was following her around like a puppy and declaring his love at every turn, Buffy wouldn’t have slept with him if she hadn’t been attracted/turned-on by him, you know?

5) OMG, Tara reverts to stuttering when Willow shows up with Amy, that’s how much it hurt her to think that Willow was already dating someone else. 

And then Willow tries to set her straight by explaining it was Amy the Rat but instead of making things better, she makes everything a million times worse because that’s how Tara knows she hasn’t quit doing magic. And if there was something more hurtful than Willow dating someone, it was Willow doing magic in spite of the fact that was the reason Tara had left her. I think Tara definitely feels like Willow cared more about magic than she did about her, you know?

6) 

DAWN: You should rest. You're beat from monster-wrestling all night.

7) I know I’ve called Willow lazy before, but in all fairness, I would totally use magic to try and shut the curtains while I’m curled up in bed. Except Willow was all drained out of magic because of the previous night. See? That’s what happens when you go on a magic-binge: there’s none left for the important stuff like shutting the curtains without leaving the warm of your bed.

8) I believe this theory 100%

XANDER: Anya has a theory. She thinks that Martha Stewart froze that guy. ANYA: Don't be ridiculous. Martha Stewart isn't a demon. She's a witch. XANDER: Please, she... Really? ANYA: Of course. Nobody could do that much decoupage without calling on the powers of darkness.

9) See 1) above. Buffy tries to defend Willow because she’s seeing herself reflected in Xander’s and Anya’s comments, but the difference is, Willow’s actions were hurting others (as well as herself.)

BUFFY: She's just... helping Amy through a transition. XANDER: And making herself a playmate to do magic with. Someone who won't monitor her like Tara. BUFFY: No, Willow's a grown-up. You know, maybe she doesn't need to be monitored. You know, she's going through something, but we're not her. I mean ... m-maybe she has reasons for acting this way. And, so what if she crossed a line? You know, we all do stuff. Stupid stuff. But, then we learn. And, and we learn, and, and we don't do it again. Okay, so, you know, who are we to get all judgey?

XANDER: Not judgey, Buff. Just, observey. ANYA: Yeah, all we're saying is, she's acting different. You know, she's not herself.

10) Considering Amy had been a rat for over three years, that means she had been visiting Rack while she was a teenager... which is super creepy for all sorts of reasons but especially the one below...

11) If you read the whole Rack scenes in terms of the magic=drugs metaphor, Amy and Willow were basically prostituting themselves for drugs/magic...

RACK: Amy said. Amy said I could help you. But did Amy say how you could help me?

WILLOW: No, I-I have some money, a-a bit-

RACK: Not money.

WILLOW: Well, I could help you with your computer, I'm really handy-

RACK: Just relax, I'm not gonna hurt you. You gotta give a little to get a little, right?

AMY: It's okay. It's over fast.

RACK: That's right. I'm just gonna take a little tour.

Yikes, show. Y I K E S.

12) This scene is Trainspotting levels of creepy/scary...

13) This is so sad...

14) I love the running joke about how slaying makes you hungry... and horny...

DAWN: I'll leave a note for Buffy on the refrigerator. That's the first place she goes after patrolling. She's such a pig after she kills things.

15) This show is usually so good when it comes to writing metaphors into the narrative. I mean, the metaphors are not exactly subtle (like Angel losing his soul and ditching Buffy after having sex with her...) but they aren’t heavy-handed either. Except for the magic=drugs metaphor. I usually pride myself in saying that BTVS is a show that doesn’t underestimate its viewers’ intelligence, but let’s be real, the writers must’ve thought we were a bunch of dimwits if they thought they had to go this far to hammer the metaphor into us. I mean...

16) Oh, Dawnie! There’s nothing wrong with a meat party in your mouth, as long as you are of age and consent to it ;)

WILLOW: So, the burger was good? You liked it? DAWN: Are you kidding? It was like a meat party in my mouth. Okay, now I'm just a kid, and even *I* know that came out wrong.

17) Willow starts asking Dawn questions about Tara, like if she was sad or if she had mentioned Willow in their conversation. (which was kind of shitty in itself - I mean, you shouldn’t bring a 15-year-old girl into your relationship drama, you know? even if said girl has shown approval of your relationship and wants you to get back together with your ex...) And in my mind I was like: “Oh, okay, so this must be when she makes the decision to go to Rack’s, because talking about Tara triggered her and she needed the palliative.” Like, I could almost understand why she needed the magic/drugs. But then Dawn notices they have been walking down the wrong path for a while, which means that Willow was set on visiting Rack - and dragging Dawn along - before bringing Tara up. So, uncool all around. 

18) 

DAWN: Well, what about the movie? It starts at nine.

WILLOW: We'll make it. I, I'll just be a minute. And it doesn't matter if we miss the trailers.

DAWN: I like the trailers.

So do I, Dawn :(

19) OH MY GOD, SHOW, WE GET IT! MAGIC = DRUGS!! 

20) I’m both Buffy and Spike, tbh.

BUFFY: Last night... was the most perverse... degrading experience of my life. SPIKE: Yeah. Me too.

21) Even as Buffy continues to claim she’s disgusted by Spike and herself for agreeing to have sex with him, she’s really not as adamant as she used to be when actual feelings - his or her own - were brought up in their conversations. Like, when he tells her that she knows he loves her, she doesn’t refute this statement as she would’ve done before (”you’re in love with pain” “you don’t know what feelings are”.) Moreover, when Spike argues that their night together made her feel something, she quietly tells him: “Not love” instead of dismissing the idea of feeling something for him altogether. 

22) So, the super witch runs into ther magic-created monster, and she can’t do shit to fend him off? It’s the meek 15-year-old girl who has to do it.

And like 5 seconds after being scared shittless, she’s playing Mario Kart with the car she hijacked and laughing it off, not paying attention to the girl sitting next to her who is rightfully terrified and screaming in fear?

See? This is what I mean when I say Willow thought she was almighty. She honestly believed she could do no wrong. Even in a situation in which has clearly fucked up, she still believes she’s going to get her way. And yes, I get she was highor whatever, but this still was Willow only heightened.

23) ugh this scene is so difficult to watch, but damn did she have it coming...

(the screenshot makes it look kind of hilarious, though, but it’s so uncomfortable to watch)

24) But then Willow breaks down and it’s hard not to feel for her because we can tell she’s truly sorry. And this is why I love Buffy so damn much...

In spite of what Willow had put Dawn through and in spite of her own anger at her friend, Buffy still understands that Willow needs her, and so she casts her own feelings aside and finds it in her to comfort and help her. This is why she’s a hero - her never-ending forgiveness and selflessness.

25) Okay, this is why I believe Willow didn’t need a trigger (Tara’s death) to go dark...

WILLOW: I don't know. The magic, I... I thought I had it under control, and then... I didn't. (...) But I mean... if you could be... you know, plain old Willow or super Willow, who would you be? (...)

BUFFY: Will, there's nothing wrong with you. You don't need magic to be special.

WILLOW: Don't I? I mean, Buffy, who was I? Just... some girl. Tara didn't even know that girl.

Tell me if this doesn’t have “supervillain origin story” written all over it. 

26) “It’s over.”

Easier said than done, isn’t it?

[salistenandreview]

My thoughts on Eurovision 2018--reviews by country

So, I consider myself metal, or at the very least, rock n roll. I don’t really fit the stereotype, but it’s the music I grew up on and it has been my one everlasting love my whole life.

That being said, I have a sort of annual tradition that I started sometime in the past 10 years. One summer I visited Germany and learned of Eurovision, a song contest held in the European countries as a way to promote peace yet give the natives of each country a sense of pride in their country competing through music. (I guess soccer isn’t enough, or isn’t peaceful enough.)

Anyway, since then, I’ve always made it a point to go to https://eurovision.tv/ and see what songs and what countries are in the contest each year. I’m doing my reviews of these songs/videos pretty much at the last minute this year, since the contest is going to be over come Saturday.

So I crammed and watched all the videos tonight. My notes for my impressions of each country are listed below, in alphabetical order. The majority of these songs are generic pop, which I find rather disappointing. Last year had much better submissions overall.

My TOP 5 favorites this year are: 1--Hungary 2--Czech Republic 3--Switzerland 4--Denmark and 5--Iceland If I hadn't heard Switzerland and been impressed, Norway and Moldova would have been on here tied for #5 for me, but Switzerland jumped up there and bumped them

NOW, without further ado:

Albania--As it’s not in English I don’t know what this song is about (reading the lyrics translation tells me it’s a standard love song), BUT I really like the sound of it. The performance art looking stuff for the video is pretty neat too.

Armenia--OK, I’m digging this too. It’s definitely not dancey pop. It’s more intense. It could be mistaken for a metal band’s ballad. The visuals from the video are pretty decent too.

Australia--This lady has a nice voice, but the song overall is generic pop and not really grabbing me.

Austria--More radio friendly generic pop. But I’m betting the dance remix to this would be interesting at raves

Azerbaijan--And here comes the dancey pop. Nothing really to say about this song. It’s radio friendly, it works for background sound, but nothing that really grabs me.

Belarus--This video has some visual elements that make me cringe. The song overall flows pretty well. This song makes me think of Panic! At the Disco, but without Brendan Urie’s edginess to it

Belgium--This song is boring. It basically sounds like it belongs on a movie soundtrack as a song that is playing softly in the background while some low-key action is going on to take us into the next scene. *yawen*

Bulgaria--This song makes me think of Enigma. It’s synthesizers and airy fairy sounds.

Croatia--Croatian Mariah Carey does a sort of lounge act type song. But it’s all sizzle and no steak.

Cyprus--Definitely dancey dance pop, and the lyrics are kinda silly, but the song overall has a good sound to it, and this lady knows what she’s doing. No wonder in her country she is the “Queen of Pop”

Czech Republic--This guy is so dorky cute. I’m liking the jazz elements and he seems to know his way around how to rap and keep a good rhythm. As I’m doing these in alpha order, so far this one is BY FAR my favorite.

Denmark--Hello sexy vikings. This song belongs in an epic movie about viking heroes. Currently liking this one in spot #2 after Czech Republic

Estonia--This lady has a very beautiful operatic voice. The song overall is kinda meh though.

FYR Macedonia--First part of the song I keep thinking “This lady is singing pop music over the beat to one of the levels of Super Mario World”. Then after that, generic dancey pop.

Finland--Quick! Someone get Tobi Sammet to fix this song and make it more metal, the lyrics/melody are too good to be some weird ass pop song. The visuals have some good edginess to it. But for real, make this song metal and it will seriously kick some ass. If Tobi isn’t available, see what Devin and Andy Oliver of I See Stars can do with it.

France--As is often the case, the French somehow manage to be disappointing and lofty at the same time. The French participant last year was so much better.

Georgia-These men have very lovely voices, and the song is pretty. However, this sounds like a glorified college a cappella group.

Germany--Germany decided to chance it on a Youtuber this year. He does have a very nice voice, and this song could probably get played on any station where they play Bruno Mars. So to me, it’s good but it’s not great.

Greece--The song at the visuals work well together. Running through the woods on the search for something. This is another song that sounds like it should be in some epic movie with vikings or knights or something like that in it.

Hungary--FINALLY! Someone decided to give something metal another shot. It’s low-key metal but the elements are there. This one just jumped to my #1

Iceland--aww, this boy is so precious. I want to hug him and protect him forever. He’s a beautiful singer and the song is pretty without being boring. He’s currently my #4

Ireland--Another angel-voiced boy singing about love in a sad way, so another song that could be played on the radio on a station that plays Bruno Mars. While this song doesn’t grab me, the gay-positive vibes from the video might be what wins Ireland the contest. But I personally put this on about the same level as the song from Germany, it’s good but not particularly great.

Israel--I have no clue what this lady is doing. This song is wtf? Did Desiigner write this song for her?  I”m very confused and a little scared.

Italy--Nope, just nope. These guys don’t even sound like they are singing, but just sort of chanting along in a rhythm that isn’t consistent, with some background music in. Way to flop, Italy.

Latvia--I mean, yeah, I see what you’re doing here...but hasn’t this been done a million times already? Very generic female vocalist pop.

Lithuania--If I liked this girl’s voice (something about it kind of annoys me), I’d probably like the song more. It’s kind of boring piano based pop though.

Malta--This song took over a third of the video’s time before it actually started, and then once it did it really went nowhere fast except to generic dancey-pop town. With the buildup of the visuals I was hoping for a bit more of something.

Moldova--I’m a little surprised but I actually rather like this song a lot. I think I’ll put it as #5 for me currently. Maybe it’s just a refreshing break from all the disappointment of the preceding songs with their overdone dancey pop.

Montenegro--Digging the visuals, the guy has a good voice. The song sounds like one a minor character would sing in an opera, where he whines that he’s not a major character because he isn’t loved enough to be anything more than a sidekick

Norway--OK, this is delightful. It hearkens back to 80’s videos on MTV. So cute. Tied with Moldova for #5 currently

Poland--more generic pop that sounds exactly the same as the other generic pop. They even have the same chords.

Portugal--I pretty much just skipped through this video on like 6 seconds intervals, and nothing EVER changed. Boring.

Romania--This song took forever to go somewhere. Lots of potential (once it finally picks up and starts doing something) but just doesn’t make it up there in the top 5 for me.

Russia--once again, boring generic pop. And I think Russia is trying to win a sympathy vote or something. *SMH*

San Marino--Generic pop, with a girl who raps, and robots. Um, ok.

Serbia--This song went all over the place. Epic, tribal, pop. I don’t hate it. But not entirely on board with it. Seems like it’s trying just a bit too hard

Slovenia--nice choreography. It’s a simple pop beat, but it’s not beating a dead horse like a lot of the other pop stuff above.

Spain--OK, it’s a sweet love song. But I’m not really digging either of their voices. Too whiney sounding

Sweden--OK Sweden, 2 things. 1--You did this before with Erik Saade, and frankly he was much better at it. 2--All these other countries are submitting Bruno Mars sounding boys, and if you’re not going to go metal (which you’re the best in the world at, btw), can’t you at least submit someone who is really fucking edgy like Tove Lo???  You make me sad Sweden. This boy is ok, he’s adorable, but the song is bland.

Switzerland--I honestly thought I was going to hate this, a brother/sister duo? But I am very pleasantly surprised and this song kicks some ass! I’m putting it at #3 between Czech Republic and Denmark

The Netherlands--I seriously appreciate that there’s some songs on here that’s not boring generic pop. But this sounds like country music. This would be in my top 10 but not my top 5.

Ukraine--This guy is sexy. The song is pretty good. Better than good, but still not great. It makes top 10 but not top 5.

The UK--More generic pop. I don’t know why I bothered, since the UK in particular never really even TRIES with this contest. They just phone it in.