#the 12 days off where I’m in between jobs will be so nice though I’m fantasizing about it now

[thebhorror]

Nine work days left at my current job… holy fuck

[papaya-twinks]

Kikaaaa im really in love with your writing 😭✊🏻

Could I please ask for a Lando short fic?

I was thinking about something in the scenario where the reader is a currently Redbull driver, but has known and been an opponent of Lando since the karting days. Despite them being rivals, they don't hate each other and are always making jokes with each other, about something that went wrong in the race or about the strategies the team made for them etc.

On this specific day the reader was a little more upset with her result in the race and when Lando comes to make a joke about it she gets really angry and Lando doesn't understand. The discussion ends up turning into provocations about the reader's sex life and they end up in bed, to relieve the sexual tension they built up during the day.

I would be forever grateful if you wrote something about this 🫶🏻✨

Warnings: Angst, smut, 18+, sexual tension, praise

Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader

A/N - chat this request just jumped the queue of my other 12 because oh my word, I’ve never read a request that makes me feel so good. LIKE CHAT??? First and last lines had me in love <3 it’s not short coz I can’t make it short with all the detail

“That’s P2, well done Y/N,” your engineer said on the radio as you smiled. “Who’s third?” you were already aware your team mate, Max, would be first. “Norris in third,”. Your smile grew even more - though you’d been competing against Lando from a very young age, but the bond between the two of you was unbreakable. Not as in friends, you were friends, but not close. 

You drove into the pits, thanking the team as usual as you drove into your second place spot, seeing the orange car on the other side of the Max’s. “Nice job, Y/N,” Max shook your hand as you stepped out the car. “Cheers,”. You were distracted by the voice of Lando, waving to you from where his team were standing. “Nice one Y/L/N,” he said, lock-in your sides as you avoided his finger. 

“Thanks, Norris,” you said, emphasising his surname, as he sighed, “another result ahead of me,” he sighed dramatically. “Can’t help I’m just better,” you shrugged as Lando rolled his eyes, watching you take the microphone for the interview, poking your tongue out at him. That’s how your friendship worked - constant teasing between each other. 

“For fucks’ sake,” you groaned, watching as the cars raced past you, the smoke fogging from your engine. You’d been so close to winning the Grand Prix and there it went, an engine failure, wow. “Y/N, retire the car, please,” your engineer said. “Fuck!” you groaned, pulling into the pit lane, driving into the garage. You’d been on a streak of getting podiums since the start of the season, and now, there it went, your win and your podium. 

You stayed in the garage to watch the race, Max in first, followed by Lando, then Oscar. “C’mon,” one of the engineers tugged your arm to stand under the podium and watch the celebrations. “Bad luck, Y/N, sorry,” Max said, shaking your hand as you nodded. And then, Lando came. “Aww, someone crashed?” he raised an eyebrow. Usually, you’d be okay with it, but being so close to a race win?

It hurt. “Well fuck you,” you put on a sarcastic smile, ignoring the hand he’d put out to shake. “Alright then,” he held his hands up in mock surrender, “someone’s in a mood,”. You rolled your eyes at his words, turning, ignoring him pointedly, and watching the podium. As you walked back of the garage, to mull over your result and what you did wrong (even though you did nothing), you felt a tap on your shoulder. 

“Y/N,” a voice said, stern and cold, from behind you. You turned around, raising an eyebrow to Lando. He was covered in champagne, his eyes half narrowed. “I thought I said fuck off,” you said, without really thinking about it, rolling your eyes. “Yeah? Well I don’t wanna,” Lando said, making you stop where you were walking. 

“What do you want, Lando?” you paused. “To know why you’re having a goddamn tantrum over one DNF?”. That made you scoff, he clearly didn’t understand how you felt. “Lando, I was so close to a win, and it wasn’t even my fault!” you snapped, crossing your arms. “Guess you and your engine have something in common, you both blow up at random fucking points!” his tone was harsh and disgusted. 

“Cheers, Lando,” you scoffed, turning away. “Why did you have to yell at me? We make jokes like that every time. You did last time, too!” he snapped, his price way too high than to just accept it. You said nothing, watching his outburst. “Oh yeah, sorry I interrupted your little eye fucking session with Max,” Lando spoke sarcastically, making your ears perk up. 

“Excuse me?” you snapped, hands on your hips. “Oh, so you reply when Max is involved? Yeah, Y/N, all you two do is eye fuck in the cool-down room, I hate being there with you lot,” he said, venom in his voice as you paused. “Seriously, Lando? You sound desperate,” you laughed sarcastically. “Desperate? Really?” he snorted, “You’re out here looking like the desperate slut with those ridiculous little puppy eyes you pull on him,”. 

You’d never heard anything to stupid, but your attention focused on one word. “A slut? Really?” you scoffed, “You go round fucking whatever girl looks remotely pretty, every single decently attractive girl will end up in your bed for one night, then they’ll be out,” you spat. “You’re such a prude, god, Y/N,” he rolled his eyes, “and ‘every’ attractive girl?” he laughed at your words, the disgust poorly concealed. 

“Good job, your ears word,” you jeered, flicking your hair back over his shoulder. “You know that’s not true, Y/N,” he raised his eyebrow. His tone changed momentarily, but it went back to normal. “What?” you asked, bemused at his words. “Haven’t seen you in there, so it’s not every attractive girl, is it?” Lando’s words were quiet, but carried a certain level of power. 

You brushed off his comment, not wanting to give it anymore attention than it deserved. “Your point?” you asked, eyebrow raised at his words. “My point is that I’m not the whore, you are,”. Shaking your head, you turned back away from him, walking towards your motor home. “Seriously? You’re just gonna walk off?” he scoffed, following you into the room. 

Lando had never been in my room, before, we didn’t maintain that kind of friendship. It was a surprise to me as well as Jim, but I said nothing. “You’re not getting me in your bed, Norris,” you shrugged, taking your Red Bull hat off, along with your coat. “You’re the one undressing,” Lando commented under his breath. “I’m hot,” you said, like it was obvious, which it was, the heat of Spain hitting hard. 

“I know you’re hot,” he said, eyebrow raised as his eyes roamed over your body, lingering on your chest. His comments were getting really flirtatious now. “What are you trying to do?” you turned to him, a suspicious look on your face. You watched as he stood a step forwards, a few inches away from you. “Nothing,” Lando took another step forwards, your body pressing against the door. 

“Did you know,” he said, eyes dropping momentarily to your chest, “sex is good for stress?”. You did know that, obviously. “You look stressed,” he pointed out, making you pause. “D’you want me to get Max?” he cooed innocently. “Wow, Norris, I don’t know if you’re just stupid, but you’re not Max,” you rolled your eyes, “I don’t want Max,”.

“Right, so what driver then?’ Lando scoffed, his face centimetres from yours. “Oh, I dunno,” you said sarcastically, maybe you?”. The way he froze made a smirk flicker onto your face before it fell as he leaned forwards. “You want me?” he asked slowly, blinking at you, his eyes wide. “I believe I just said that,” you shrugged, eyes rolling. 

Lando’s lip curled at your eye roll, his face leaning closer to yours. “Better behave or I’m gonna make them roll for another reason,”. Your cheeks flushed at his words, your eyes wide as his lips bit down on the skin of your neck, your eyes wide. “Lando,” you gasped, his hands tugging at your shirt, breaking off of you to take it off. 

“Wanted to do this for so long,” he ran his lips over your jaw as he pulled your baggy trousers down. “Oh fuck,” you moaned as he pushed your knees apart, your legs over his shoulders as he held you against the wall, his tongue against your clothed clit. “Lando,” you mewled, eyes wide as he flicked his tongue, your hand tugging at his curls. 

Lando had been picturing this for so long, his head buried between your legs, licking at your sweet goodness, your hands tugging at his hair. Fuck, if he could see this from third person, he’d cum just like that. You rolled your hips softly against his mouth, his tongue pushed your drenched panties to the side. “Someone desperate?” he pulled back, a whine leaving your lips. 

“Lando,” you tugged at his curls as he looked at you, standing up fully, his body the same height as you, due to how he was carrying you. “You’re gonna be patient for me,” he said, hand running through your hair, “and you’re gonna be good,”. You nodded, eyes wide as he lifted you onto your bed, your legs slung over his shoulders still. 

As he moved you, his finger slid against your wet folds, his thumb toying at your clit, as he pulled inside of you. “Lando, fuck!” you moaned, eyes wide before squeezing shut, your hand instinctively tugging at the waist band of his joggers. “Someone’s needy,” he commented, letting you take his joggers down, his cock springing against his abdomen. 

His other hand wrapped around yours, pumping your hand up and down him as he groaned, your body squirming from his fingers. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” Lando smirked, your back arching for a second as you wriggled, his fingers pumping in and out, fully. “Open,” he said, his large hand on the back of your head, your lips parting a bit. “Really, Y/N?” Lando raised an eyebrow. 

“You know won’t fit,” he commented, hand pumping his own cock as you complied, opening further. Instantly, you felt his cock hit the back of your throat, before he fully pulled out, letting you dictate how far in he went. Your hand pumped the parts of his length that you couldn’t reach, his throbbing head hitting the back of your throat as you gagged, Lando’s other hand with his fingers still deep in you. 

“Fuck,” he pulled you off, he would cum merely at seeing your pretty little mouth struggling with his length. He lifted you onto his lap, lifting your thighs up, so he could align his throbbing dick with your folds. You whispered as he ran his dick through your folds a few times, before pushing into you slowly, your muscles tensing. 

“That’s it,” Lando cooed, one hand holding you up as he sank you down, the other cupping your cheek. “Open,” he said, your mouth falling open instantly. You flinched as he spat into your mouth, pressing his thumb to your tongue as you gagged slightly, resting your body weight on him. Lando turned you over, your body against his, legs round his hips as he slowly pushed into you, and then out again, before he quickened his pace. 

Your mouth fell open at his ever quickening speed, his hips slamming into you, one hand tangled in your hair, the other cupping your breasts as you tightened your arm round his neck, your head on his shoulder. “Lando, fuck feels s’good,” you moaned, body rocking quickly at his rough movements. 

“Been wanting to fuck you for ages,” he groaned, feeling your nails sink into his backs, clawing desperately, as if scratching would give you your orgasm, “look so pretty taking my cock baby,”. You loved the way he spoke, his words dirty, but his tone soft, so opposing to his rough slams. You felt the knot in your stomach building up at his words, your eyes rolling softly. “Told you I’d make them roll,” he smirked, grinning at you, “look pretty like that,” 

The knot in your stomach came undone as you sank your nails into his bare back, his chain dangling on your lips as his hips stuttered, his cheeks flushed red. “Gonna cum in you,” he said gruffly, hips jittering as his slams became messier and messier. “God, fuck,” he groaned, his cum pooling in you, the thick toped ropes hitting your insides as you moaned. “Mmm, fuck me, Lando,” the words came out, not even paying attention to what you were saying. 

“Just did,” he said, sitting up, your body slumped on his. “So fucking tight,” he groaned, holding your body as he pulled out, your pussy clenching round him as he did so. “Fuck, baby, you gotta let me go,” Lando chuckled, pulling you off of him fully. “That’s what you get for a DNF,” he snorted as you watched him, panting from your recent orgasm, “let’s see what happens when you win, love,”.

[archivalofsins]

I've been thinking about the fact that we clearly see the other Mikoto snapping at the end of MeMe and going wow, that's similar to how Yuno comes in at the beginning of Tear Drop.

So let's talk about the dissociation gang~

Yuno, Kazui, Amane, and Mikoto, being the dissociation gang, has gone overlooked and underappreciated.

I feel like this is especially true when it comes to Yuno. Because at least in Kazui's and Amane's cases, they are both shown viewing their songs. Amane is shown watching hers on a tv at the end of Magic, and Kazui is displayed as being a part of the audience in Half. Perfectly illustrating that they are both observers and participants while making it clear that they have some dissociative tendencies.

However, Yuno's dissociative behavior is far more subtle, for example-

Mahiru: Can I arrange your hair too, Yuno?

Yuno: Of course!

Mahiru: Ta-da!

Yuno: This- is me?! Wow!

Amane: She's lost sight of herself!

The similarities between her and Mikoto have gone under the radar too.

Q.12  Tell us your hobby.

Haruka: I like talking with the other prisoners.

Yuno: Going out shopping with my friends, I guess? Also I’m part of the theatre club, so occasionally practice.

Theater you say?

Kazui isn't the only person who's gone up on stage now, huh.

Despite saying that her hobby is shopping with her friends, she can't remember the most expensive thing she's ever bought for herself. This could be because she buys a lot of things and she just doesn't remember the prices off the top of her head. However, she also asserts that it was more than likely a plush toy.

We only see Yuno with two plush toys, the rabbit she gets as a gift, and the crab with the hat we see in her room, which is probably the more expensive of the two.

Q.20 What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought for yourself?

Haruka: Cotton candy.

Yuno: I can’t really remember. Maybe a plush toy?

Shopping is also one of Mikoto's hobbies.

Q.07 What are your hobbies?

Mikoto: shopping / darts / photography / cycling

Q.24  What’s your dream for the future?

Haruka: I want to live normally.

Yuno: It’d be nice if I can find a job I can really lose myself in.

Q.14 Where do you think you’ll be in 10 years?

Mikoto: It’d be nice if I could build up my own self-sustaining design business. That’d be pretty liberating.

They both exercise when bored or stressed.

Q.14 What do you do when you’re bored?

Haruka: Just sleep.

Yuno: Sit ups.

Q.02 Have you ever played baseball?

Mikoto: I was really big on it when I was in high school. Though I wasn’t particularly good at it or anything. Even now, if I’m feeling pent up from work, I still sometimes practice swinging.

For as much as Yuno gets on Mikoto's case for being too conscious of others, she picks out what she'll wear depending on the person she'll be with.

Q.28 How do you decide what clothes to wear for the day?

Haruka: I wear what’s there.

Yuno: I pick something to match with the person I’ll be with.

Like how he picks out his clothing with his job in mind.

Q.04 Are you picky when it comes to fashion?

Mikoto: Of course I am. Nobody would want to ask for anything from an unfashionable designer, right?

Also, they have both become more standoffish and reserved in response to their verdict. Unlike the other two who are viewing their circumstances from different angles, Mikoto and Yuno have multiple versions of themselves within their music videos. Sometimes, having these other versions speak on or display the events in their stead.

In Yuno's case, we specifically see the other versions of her not only representing her clientele but herself as well. These versions of her are cycled through as she speaks on her verdict in Tear Drop. Escalating with the Yuno most prominently shown in Tear Drop being visibly upset and disgusted before the one in a school uniform cuts in.

"So nauseating...so creepy...will you please disappear? "Phew. Anyway!"."

They're shown to be comfortimg Yuno as well.

Q.23 Is there anything you’d like to have sent to you there?

Haruka: Not particularly.

Yuno: A blanket!

"Why are you here? You annoy me a little. I can't smile well anymore. It's because of you."

Q.10 If you could turn back time, would you commit the same “murder”?

Haruka: I don’t know. If I was in Milgram, I probably wouldn’t.

Yuno: It’d be nice if I made it so I didn’t have to.

"I can't smile well anymore." - "Please smile."

[coridotmp3]

thanks for the tag, cori! your wip titles are immaculate. I absolutely must know about 99.3 kiss fm, jason sudeikis must pay, and mickey mouse the matchmaker.

:) thank you darling !!

99.3 KISS FM

This one's a college! bob floyd x reader !! bob, reader (nickname: cherry, pronouns: they/them), and various other daggers work the late shift at their college's radio station!! there's just endless amounts of mutual pining, a dash of miscommunication, and so many song references that only i will understand <3

have a little taste:

As the studio filled with the slow strums of “Trust” by Lucy Dacus, you made sure your mic was off before turning to the blob on the couch across from you. 

“Was that still too wordy? I’m really trying to take Penny’s note about brevity to heart but how else am I supposed to fill time?” 

Bob’s eyes shot up from where they had been focused on his laptop, composing his next setlist for the shift after yours. “I don’t think it was wordy but I think your pacing is more of an issue here. You literally said take a breath, but talked too fast to take one yourself. You’ll sound less like you’re rambling if you just slow down, speak with confidence.”

"If I had realized this job would be so stressful, I never would have begged Penny to let me sign up." You pouted, slumping in the desk chair as much as you could without falling off.

“Cherry, you’re fine! It’s not like the 12 people listening to a college radio station are gonna be concerned with your takes between songs. Not when you have the best song queue out of the whole lineup bar one.”

“If that one is you, I’m gonna smack you upside the head, Bo. I’m not listening to a whole night of The Cars, not again.”

“You love The Cars!”

“Yeah, in moderation! Not when I have to hear “My Best Friend’s Girl” eight times in a row at 2 in the morning!”

“I take back every nice thing I’ve ever said about you, obviously you have no taste.”

jason sudeikis must pay aka the hangster sleeping with other people au

two lonely souls in college agree to lose their virginities to each other, only to spend the next ten years having very strained relationships with sex. When they meet again in a sex addicts support group, Jake and Bradley decide to use their renewed friendship to help each other heal. Maybe, in more ways than one. (and also rhett abbott is there because i needed a scapegoat thank you <3)

something to whet your appetite:

"He came through every few weeks on one of his bull riding tours or to meet with vendors. He never stayed more than a night before he went back to her, and I was left with this profound emptiness in his absence.

I let myself get wrapped up in his world. I deluded myself with these fantasies that one day he would stay. All I wanted was for him to stay. I just wanted to be enough for him, so I broke myself apart into something I thought he would want. There's no telling how much of me I lost pursuing that pipe dream.

"Must have been a pretty good pipe to string you along like this for the past ten years."

"Oh shut up, Bradshaw."

"No, I'm serious! What, is it ten inches? Is it made of gold? Can it vibrate? What about him and his magical two foot long dick had you so spellbound?"

mickey mouse the matchmaker

this one is soooooo very self-indulgent. it's bob x mickey's cousin (x reader for now but that is subject to change). BASICALLY, mickey and bob have been good friends since their OCS training in Rhode Island all those years ago. While they were stationed in Newport, Mickey and Bob would go and visit Mickey's cousin while she was in school in Providence. Bob and the cousin got along like a house on fire, but were both too scared to do anything about it (even though mickey knows they both want to). Fast forward a few years, and she moves out to San Diego where the daggers are now stationed. AND WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, READER NEEDS A PLACE TO LIVE AND BOB HAS AN EXTRA ROOM !! Mickey's masterplan is all coming together

(there's no excerpt for this one because the whole fic is just various one-liners strung together with a wish and a prayer)

CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUR WIPS DARLING !!!

[pandorasboxoftreasures]

A lot of you guys have no idea... Really. You don’t. The accuracy is chilling. (TW Child Abuse/Homicidal Thoughts/Violence/Mental Illness/Depression)

People that think they know me: “You’re so nice and kind and have a strong sense of justice and fairness and wouldn’t hurt a fly. How could you possibly identify with that awful, angry, violent alien monster?”

Me: *Explains the time a year after leaving school I found myself sat opposite on a bus from the kid that two years prior stabbed me in the ear with a pencil and worse, then had the whole class that watched and laughed defending him saying he did nothing when I fought back, even though he permanently scarred my right eardrum and damaged my hearing, then used my reason for having to leave class early that day (my dad had a hospital appointment) and forced me to be kept behind by the teacher and punished for fighting, even though I was literally trembling with shock and pain and barely able to speak through my PTSD episode to ask to have my ear checked but being ignored.*

*Makes this exact face remembering imagining following him off and the permanent damage I was going to do to him if he gave me any additional reason or opening to and looked down at him like that the whole time leaving him squirming in his seat, terrified, unable to make eye contact while also saying to him with the exact same tone and pitch as in that shot and said the following word for word because that moment was burned into my brain with how much I look back on it years later scared with what I'm^ capable of doing to someone and how close I was to doing it*  

“Hello, Michael... That’s you, aye? Yeah... That’s you. Like my new look...”

“... or am I too legal?”

____________________________________________

^ Yes, present tense. Because those wounds can only be managed since they don’t fully heal. I find myself getting very close once in a while to that violent 17 year old looking for relief from my grief and pain of what he and others like him did to the bright, friendly, happy, excited child with a promising future that walked into that school building and never came home. 

The fact that they could figuratively kill that kid like that, drive the husk left behind to almost literally finish off the job and then walk away and live happy little lives with relationships and children and careers and good reputations and family support and nothing coming back to bite them ever while my world and future had completely crumbled and imploded boils in my veins to this day.

Over three dozen therapy sessions have helped with management. Hobbies provide an outlet. My career path is in the one that ultimately saved me where all others failed. Video games. The places where I could safely trigger catharsis.

But I still need to keep checking myself so I don’t become that scared and wracked with despair thrashing for someone vaguely related to the people that pushed me into the water to pull down and stop myself from drowning empty shell of a former being again.

Seeing it on screen that night I impulsively bought the tickets for seat M10 in Screen 12, hit me like two couch-sized arrows to the chest. 

I didn’t think I would ever see it happen and be so accurate with something I didn’t make. I was making it. But it looks like I got beat to the punch.

And how haunting, but also how great it is to see. Someone in the pipeline between the firing of neurons and the firing of pixels empathised enough to make it realistic in the face of the convenience of a simple villain.

It may make him more scary because of how raw he is and people like me knowing what he’s capable of with that knowledge and experience of being there (especially after the end of Way Of Water where he’s in an even lower state), but it’s real.

I’m scared for Ritch as much as I’m scared for what he will do to others.

I wasn’t just being like “Oh, no, Lo’ak/Kiri! Don’t hurt Lo’ak/Kiri!”. I was at the other end of the gun/knife going “Don’t do it, man. It’s not gonna make it better. Crossing that line is a lot harder to come back from. Don’t do that to yourself just to get back at him. You’re a snake coiling yourself around a saw. YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS!”

It’s the same with Neytiri grabbing Spider, too.

I think I need to drop this video down here before I consider this post done for now. I’ve still got a lot more to say, but that’s probably better saved for later.

But last word on it? Yeah. He better get a redemption arc... AND LIVE!

Because Christ knows there’s not enough characters like that in media for how many people are battling those demons IRL.

The more there are, the more conversations the real people can start.

Trust me, you don’t wanna keep sending the message that the only way to heal, repent and move forward after these kinds of thoughts and actions is to die.

[hiddlesdarlinggabrielsangel]

This is pretty raw, and a lot longer than I expected but I think I needed to let it out. If you’re currently grieving a pet, this might be too much to read.

My dog passed away this past Saturday morning.

I’ve been in shock ever since and absolutely devastated. My appetite is gone and I’m nauseous and I’m realizing that even though my mom had a similar bond to Ivy, her way of grieving is very different, and I just feel alone.

While Ivy lived a wonderful life of 10 years, longer than many dogs get, she seemed to be doing fine until literally midday on that Friday and we had no idea it was something that would ultimately take her life. We’re struggling with all the “what-ifs” and “if only” thoughts but even though we don’t know for sure, we suspect the cancer we had removed a year ago had come back and even though we get her checked out routinely, we just didn’t catch it in time. The emergency vets said that it was as though her body was attacking itself. It’s just hard because we have her father from the breeder who literally turned 13 the day after she died, the day we buried her. We also still keep in touch with the breeder and she’s told us that HIS father is still alive. So, it was just so unexpected. And Zac, her dad, doesn’t even seem to be registering the fact that she’s gone. We showed her to him when we brought her home, but he barely noticed and just laid down next to her for a second before getting up and wandering off. He doesn’t have the best eyesight and maybe what they did to her body made her smell different, but I thought there would have been some recognition. But he just sort of moved on like nothing happened. Maybe he just understands better than we humans do that death is a part of life, even for his own daughter, but when she was alive he did look after her in his way. I just hope he doesn’t wake up one day looking around for her but we did all we could do.

I didn’t expect to get into the actual event but to be honest, it helped to type it out. The thing is, while I’m absolutely devastated right now, it’s not like I was on top of the world before she passed. Three years before we got her as a puppy in 2014, I was diagnosed with endometriosis. The year I graduated college, 2014, I got a job as a nanny for an emotionally abusive family (which I thankfully left after 3 months but was still a bit traumatized). I had a second surgery for endometriosis in 2015 and was prescribed depo provera which made my depression and anxiety way worse than it already was. I got a job as a photographer taking photos for church directories which was insane (12-17 hour days, no breaks worked in, at least 2-4 hour drives, many kind people but enough rude people to make it miserable), I developed panic attacks and took a medical leave of absence (ultimately left), was judged by so-called friends, went through a time where I couldn’t work because I didn’t know enough about what would trigger these panic attacks, isolated myself from my friend group (hardly any of whom were reaching out anymore anyway), and realized in early 2017 that most of those “friends” who did reach out weren’t really my friends, and between April 2016 - Sept 2017, my “job” (because I didn’t have a real, paying one) was to work on myself in individual and group therapy. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I’m very grateful for both, but when your job becomes analyzing what’s wrong with you, or why you do what you do so you can stop/change/adjust constantly, it gets to be a bit much. Then I got a retail job in Sept 2017 where I dealt with a narcissist coworker. I also started getting migraines at that job in 2018. Sometime in 2018, my brother met his now wife who has never liked us because we don’t fit in to her “fantasy” (not confirmed, but my theory). When we first met, she told my brother I was “too nice” and “not candid enough”. We have done and continue to do everything we can to be welcoming and she’s nothing but disrespectful to all of us. She even sent something to members of her own family recently that they have been very hurt by. Anyway, in July of 2019, I briefly got a job canvassing neighborhoods for a construction company until I had an 8-hour long panic attack. Needless to say, I did not stay there. Feeling ashamed and hopeless, I made a plan to take my own life. My dad interrupted me as I was writing the suicide note, and obviously I’m still here. I got another job the following week, one that I’m still at, but it didn’t come without its hiccups. A man who yelled at me and who I still have to set boundaries with nearly five years later. Another man who acted inappropriately but ultimately he was set straight. As you can imagine, my brother’s girlfriend/fiancée/wife made our lives difficult and did everything she could (and succeeded a long time ago) to separate him from his family who he seemed to be so close to before (I used to think of him as my best friend). In the summer of 2020, I started having hypnopompic hallucinations where I’d wake up physically but I would still see things as though I was in a dream state which freaked me out. In December of 2020, I made a total of 6 batches of cookies, rolled out, embossed, all the works for literally hundreds of cookies, and that triggered an underlying back issue from carrying too much weight in my backpack slung over only one shoulder in college. This resulted in me going to the chiropractor, getting massages, and as the back issue was finally working itself out, it felt as though it dispersed all that pain and more to the rest of my body. I won’t go into it because that would be a post somehow longer than this, but about a year later after having had a third surgery for endometriosis in 2021, seeing a gastroenterologist, worrying if I was having seizures, and finally seeing a neurologist, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2022. I found out my uncle had been diagnosed with cancer earlier that year too, a sarcoma. He passed away in May.

Around a month later, my mom, a non-smoker, was diagnosed with a rare type of non-small cell lung cancer. It’s called ROS1 and it’s very aggressive. Not only that, but it does not go into remission; my mom will have this cancer for the rest of her life. Already, she’s gone through two treatments, and the when we suspected the trial she was on wasn’t working anymore because of a mass they found in her right lung, she had a biopsy done in December right before New Years, and in the middle of it, she had heart failure. Thankfully, they revived her and she’s ok. At first they thought it was a heart attack but her arteries were clear. They said it was a case of broken heart syndrome. Her heart has recovered fully since then, but she was taken off the trial, and after briefly trying another targeted treatment, she’s now on chemotherapy.

After experiencing a traumatic event with my brother and sister-in-law back in December of 2023, my family hosted a baby shower for them at our house earlier this month. I’ve been conflicted about how I feel about the coming of this child. I have been overwhelmed about my mom and the side effects she’s been having from the chemo along with the other drug that they’re giving her for the first 4 rounds. My dad caught pneumonia a few days before Ivy passed. I was already overwhelmed.

I was almost always already overwhelmed. But through all of the above, except those first 3 years of endo, I had Ivy. I could go to her. I could play with her. I could pet her. I could cuddle her. Or I could just watch tv or be on my phone but she always had a way of knowing when I’m sad or upset and needed her there. And I think she just genuinely wanted to be with me whether it was on the couch, on the floor, or even upstairs.

That’s part of why this is so hard. It’s ALL of these current things, plus Ivy. Ivy made it bearable. I know I’m not always going to feel this way, but I think I need to get it out somewhere. While I know that I will move on and live my life through the good and the bad… part of me doesn’t want to. I don’t want to face life without Ivy. I don’t want to have people come into my life and not be able to introduce them to my “buddy”. I know how that sounds. And again, I know I won’t always feel that way, but the thing is, I don’t have any friends I can talk to. I have people who care about me and that I care about, but I’m not close enough to share this and one person I used to think might be that type of friend kind of has proven that she’s not interested in a real friendship. She just checks on me by text every few months and says she’s praying for me. While that’s sweet, whenever I try to engage, she ignores it and then literally just writes another text checking up on me a few months later. She responds to updates, but not when I try to reciprocate.

So, with my friends falling away, with my brother turning away from me, Ivy really was my best friend. Possibly my only real friend.

[aeoki]

SS Finals - Melee: Chapter 12

Location: ES Dome Lobby Characters: Adonis, Kouga & Kaoru

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< At that time. “ES Dome” lobby. >

Kouga: Argh~ 

I’m so frustrated! Why do we have to be “mailmen” for “Eden”!?

Kaoru: We didn’t have a choice, right? “Eden” is technically the “General Leader” of the “White Team”, after all.

Let’s work hard for our boss ♪

Kouga: I don’t ever remember acknowledgin’ the fact that they’re more superior than us!

I guess it’s nice that we get to fight alongside each other since we’re put in the same team!

But just ‘cause they were chosen as the “General Leader” doesn’t mean they get to boss us around!

Adonis: That’s true. They say the good you do for others is good you do yourself – Our work will reward us in the future.

Kouga: I know! Stop sayin’ stuff Sakuma-senpai would – You’re startin’ to get more and more like him these days, Adonis!

Adonis: Really? That makes me happy – I’m honoured.

Kouga: I ain’t praisin’ ya! I’m tryin’ to say you’re startin’ to annoy me too!

Kaoru: Well, don’t make such a loud fuss in a public place like this, okay? “SS” is a national event so the press are everywhere.

It wouldn’t do us any good to stick out like a sore thumb.

Kouga: Keh, we’re chickenin’ out? Since when did “UNDEAD” become such a cowardly unit!?

Adonis: I think we’ve always been like this off stage, but anyway, we should stop chatting and get to work.

Those who do nothing but complain are the most worthless.

Kouga: Huuh? I’m still doin’ what I’ve been told to do!

Look, I did my job and delivered those “oracles” to the completely scattered “White Team”, didn’t I!?

…”2wink” would take the initiative to do this sorta stuff without anyone askin’ them to, huh.

Dammit. Why do I always notice stuff like this when it’s way too late?

Kaoru: If you’ve left the things precious to you behind all this time, then all you have to do is to hurry and go back to pick them up the moment you realise that, right?

It’s never too late to start.

Adonis: Besides, we “UNDEAD” are appropriate messengers instead of “2wink” this time around.

The “White Team” barely has any unity, but we “UNDEAD”, or rather, Sakuma-san is well-connected and can create friendly relations between all of the units.

We can deliver the letters without them suspecting us.

Kouga: Yeah. There’s Sakuma-senpai’s friend in “Valkyrie” and it looks like he’s close to Mikejima-senpai from “Double Face” too. As for “2wink”, that goes without sayin’.

Lotsa stuff happened during the Qualifyin’ Rounds, but they ain’t the type of people to change their attitudes ‘cause of that – Sakuma-senpai ain’t, at least.

Adonis: Yeah. The problem would be “Crazy:B”...

Sakuma-senpai thinks that their leader, Rinne Amagi, should accept it if he reasons with him.

Kouga: Why’s he held in such high regard? I hate those guys… I can’t believe how Sakuma-senpai can speak to them normally – Somethin’ ain’t right with his head.

Kaoru: And you love that part about him, right, Kouga-kun? ♪

Kouga: I just said I hate him. Don’t pretend you’re talkin’ about me when you’re just talking’ about yourself, Hakaze-senpai.

Kaoru: Well, I also have a hard time dealing with that enigmatic and unworldly part of Rei-kun too, you know?

Adonis: I think that’s Sakuma-senpai’s real charm. He’s enigmatic so you wish to learn more about him, then you end up falling right into his trap as you desperately try to analyse him.

It’s Sakuma-senpai’s irresistible charm and allure.

Kaoru: You’re always soft on him, Adonis-kun.

Adonis: I’m indebted to him and respect him as well. I also believe Sakuma-senpai can convince Amagi-senpai.

Kouga: Well, I’m more worried about “Knights” than “Crazy:B”, though. They don’t have any strong connections like us, right?

Sakuma-senpai was oozin’ with confidence and sayin’, “My beloved brother, Ritsu, is there so it’ll be fine ☆” Where the hell did that confidence even come from, anyway?

Is he really gonna be okay? He ain’t gonna come back bawlin’ his eyes out after seein’ his lil’ brother harshly reject him, is he?

Kaoru: If he is, then let’s comfort him gently, okay…? ♪

Adonis: H–He’ll be fine. Sakuma-senpai can definitely pull it off. Yeah. I believe in him.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂  Next Chapter →

[ireallyamabear]

ok, elementary season 6 part 2: was I totally wrong about this season? it's really not bad! i think that one awful episode was the only thing i remembered ...

thoughts on eps 7 to 17, only minimal spoilers:

episode 7: Sober Companions

Excellent episode, the dread is real. Michael is a little bit of a caricature of a serial killer, but I think it works. this was of course not one of the usual cases, so it stands out. very good!!

episode 8: Sand trap

back to business as usual. Sherlock is healed etc etc. The case starts out pretty memorable (the body in the concrete) … highlight of the episode is the Gay cameo imo. I swear so many Elementary episode feel like the writer read the top posts on r/all and made a case out of it, here it’s the sand mafia. pretty good!!

episode 9: nobody lives forever

ok, and in this case the writers are predicting what will trend on social media… the whole story about taking blood from young people to stave of aging. The whole case is pretty thin, though, and they have the b-plot with Alfredo (good to see him!) to fill up time. which is much better. there’s a pretty emotional gut punch in the end (no spoilers) which actually made me very sad. all in all, B minus for the case. there have been much better cases in the scientific/research world.

episode 10: The adventure of the Ersatz Sobekneferu

meh. the case was okay i guess… ill spoil this one: i kind of think it’s boring if the first suspect turns out to be the murderer in the end, and everything in between is just window dressing. also…. in the whole episode about art forgery they don’t mention Moriarty once? even though that’s such a big part of her character? and then they do mention her at the end of the episode anyway for that other plot? why not have Sherlock be like… “she’s been on my mind” or something. mhm. glad that Morland is back, though.

episode 11: You've come a long way

pretty good case, again. until … they focused so long on that secretary that it was clear she was the murderer like halfway through the episode. so that was a dud. And then the whole Moriarty storyline… it’s so clear that they couldn’t get Natalie Dormer for these episodes so they just talk about her. And tbh they did such a good job with the Michael storyline in the first part of the season that now this other storyline is almost annoying! they are doing too much.

episode 12: Meet your maker

they made johnny lee miller say “pay pigs” lol this case was really good! very interesting set up, different stages that they made easy to follow, and no obvious rehash of stuff they’ve done before. and the b-plot around Marcus is really nicely tied in. did I mention I love Marcus?

episode 13: Breathe

another front-page-of-reddit case. the construction of the case was a bit flimsy tbh. it’s kind of weird that the guy was gonna kill himself to frame the pharma dude. really? otherwise, no complaints, but kind of forgettable.

episode 14: Through the fog

lockdown because of bomb threats is one of my favourite tropes. very good episode!

episode 15: How to get a Head

okay this was also a very good case??? wild ride, loved the union stuff! was i totally wrong about this season???

episode 16: Uncanny Valley of the dolls

they made lucy liu say “the sex doll could be witness to a murder”. the case is very meh. reminds me of the one with the ai doll… these kind of “future tech” scripts are always so stupid. this is a low point of the season, for sure, second worst episode by far. But every other season has two or three duds, so ...

episode 17: The Worms Crawl In, The Worms Crawl Out (great title)

middling case i would say. there’s a different post about all of these future tech cases of Elementary in here somewhere, but i’m not writing that today. Michael is back baby!!!!! the pacing of the season is a bit off. even at two or three episodes a day it feels like an eternity since that storyline last came up. I wish they’d had some scenes in the in between episodes where Watson and Sherlock work on the case.

[alex51324]

Gearing up for Christmas cookie baking, so my mind is on that--I think the only thing I’d tell a beginner to make sure they have is actual butter.  Store brand is fine, and with the recipes I make regularly I’ve never noticed a difference between salted and unsalted, but if you’re using a recipe that calls for butter, you want to get real butter, that came from a cow and is legally allowed to call itself butter.  

(If you’re vegan/baking for vegans, you want recipes designed for that.  I have 3 in my regular Christmas cookie repertoire; HMU if you want them.)  

Having the proper measuring cups for wet and dry ingredients helps--that is, the different sizes for dry, and a clear glass or plastic one with the lines marked on the side for wet--but cheap ones work just as well as expensive.  (Expensive ones might be more durable, but if you aren’t sure how often you’ll be using them, you might as well start with cheap ones.  If they break, you can think then about whether you want to upgrade.)

After that, using real vanilla extract is worthwhile in recipes where vanilla is the main flavoring--sugar cookies, for instance--but you can still get good results without it.  For recipes that have another strong flavor (ginger, chocolate, etc.), you might as well use the imitation kind.  (These days, I buy a little bottle of the good stuff for the kinds where it makes a difference, and a big bottle of the cheap stuff for everything else.)  

The next thing I’d probably recommend is parchment paper for lining your baking sheets.  It gives you a little more leeway in between “a little browner than I’d like” and “burnt,” plus makes cleanup easier.  For most cookie recipes, you can re-use the same sheets of paper for several pans of cookies.  (It’s especially beneficial if your cookie sheets are not great to begin with--the cheap, thin kind, or old ones with a lot of baked-on discoloration/texture.  On the other hand, if you do have nice baking sheets, using parchment on them will help them stay nice.)

I like to use a stand mixer, because I’m doing large amounts of baking at once--I usually do about 12-15 batches of cookies the week before Christmas--and it saves a lot of time and effort, but it isn’t essential unless you have limitations in the use of your hands.   A cheap hand mixer will work just as well, and even a wooden spoon will get the job done. 

A heat resistant silicone spatula for stirring/scraping, and a metal spatula for taking cookies off the sheet are noticeably superior to plastic versions of the same tools--the plastic ones will be damaged by heat and become more difficult to use.  (Think, increased cookie-breakage as you try to shove the bubbly-melted edge of a spatula under them.)  But  cheaper ones made of those materials are fine.  

In terms of things that don’t matter at all, I’ve never used anything but all-purpose flour, store-brand or maybe Pillsbury/Gold Medal if it’s on sale.  (I don’t doubt that there are recipes that work better with more specialized flours, but everything I make is fine with all-purpose.)  For sugar, you need to pay attention to the type specified in the recipe--granulated/white, powdered/confectioners, brown--but the store brand is fine.  Baking soda and baking powder are neither optional nor interchangeable, but store-brand is fine for those, too.  Oh, and the salt in a baking recipe is there for chemistry reasons, not just flavor; if you need to make salt-free baked goods, look for recipes designed that way.  

Oh, and if things seem to come out of your oven burnt or a little overdone (or under-done), even though you followed directions, get an oven thermometer.  The analog kind with a dial, that sits on the rack and costs about $5-10, is fine. Loads of home ovens are mis-calibrated, but this type of problem doesn’t usually get worse; all you have to do is use the thermometer to work out how far off it is, and take that into account when you set the temperature.  (The oven at my dad’s place has been running about 25 degrees hot for something like 15 years, and I’ve been getting perfectly reliable results from it ever since I figured out what was going on.)  

re: hobby costs, I'm sure i've seen places that have lists with different categories of items, along the lines of "ok to be cheap" "nice to have" and "pay for this" because depending on the actual hobby, working with cheap stuff can make a beginner think that they're worse than they are -

for something like baking, a great baker can take terrible ingredients and make something amazing*, but using chocolate that isn't Hershey's will instantly make brownies better no matter what level you're at.

Using the cheapest ingredients will tell you if the actual process is something you enjoy, but - while i'm definitely a process person** - part of the enjoyment of the process for me is having a product I like, and if I make a disappointing brownie, I'm more likely to decide the whole thing isn't worth it.

i guess i just want more honesty about the parts of a hobby that matter - both ends of the expense scale have a lot of performativeness about them ("i only use pans i got at the thrift store. they cost $1 and i have no problems" vs. "if you don't have a $500 brownie pan your brownies will be garbage") and the truth is that there's a lot of space in the middle.***

disclaimer that obviously all of this depends on what any given person can afford! I just think it's important to remember that sometimes a workperson is fully justified in blaming their tools, and those tools being awful can make them feel worse.

[queen-haq]

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 17

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 17

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Rating: R for language and smut.

Words: ~3300 words.

Summary: You’ve been sleeping with Billy Russo for a few months now. Knowing his aversion to emotional commitments, you’re satisfied with your clandestine arrangement until you catch him having dinner with Dinah Madani one night. Then it finally dawns on you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit, he just doesn’t want to commit to *you*.

Billy may think he knows you, but he has no idea what he’s just lost…

Part 1   Part 2   Part 3   Part 4   Part 5   Part 6   Part 7   Part 8   Part 9   Part 10   Part 11   Part 12   Part 13   Part 14   Part 15  Part 16

Part 17

Billy couldn’t stop gawking at you, wondering how it was possible you grew more beautiful each time he saw you. The red wrap dress you were wearing accentuated all your curves, and it took every bit of willpower he had not to rip it off of you and fuck you senseless right then and there. Unfortunately, he had to behave himself. Caravan was a pretty bouji place that had recently been labelled as one of the hottest restaurants in Manhattan and he had to pull a few strings to get a last-minute reservation for tonight. But seeing the smile on your face when you realized this was where you were dining had been completely worth all the hassle.

As the hostess guided the two of you to your table, he noticed a few assholes at the bar admiring you from afar. Immediately he snaked his arm around your waist to draw you in closer. You were his. If he could he’d pluck out every one of those fuckers’ eyes so they never made the mistake of looking at you again. Better yet, he’d keep you locked behind closed doors. Of course you wouldn’t agree to anything like that because you were too goddamn independent for your own good.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, taking a seat at your designated table.

Billy’s attention returned to your face as he followed suit, his gaze inhaling you in. “You look too hot. Too many assholes staring at you,” he grumbled.

The worried look on your face was replaced with a beaming smile, one that made his cock twitch.

“You’re being ridiculous” you remarked, scanning the menu.

His eyes drifted down to your chest, the swell of your soft, supple breasts just begging to be kissed and licked by him.

“Stop staring at my boobs, Billy,” you chastised even as a small smile graced your lips. “This is a proper first date. You can’t just ogle me like that. You have to behave like a gentleman.”

He quirked his eyebrow. “Sweetheart, I’ve never been that.”

“Well, try,” you ordered.

The waitress came by with the bottle of red wine you’d requested and poured some in both of your glasses. He noticed the redhead giving him a friendly smile, her green eyes lingering on him for a second too long. Fine, yeah, she may have been hot but she wasn’t you. No one was. So while he would have happily slipped her his number in the past, now the idea of being with someone who wasn’t you no longer excited him.

Once she left, he took the opportunity to move a few inches closer to you. What he really wanted was to get on his knees and bury his head between your legs, but something told him eating you out in in the crowded restaurant wouldn’t go over very well with you.

“I think she likes you.”

Hand propped on the back of your chair, he started playing with your hair. “Who?”

“Our waitress. She didn’t look at me once, her eyes were on you the entire time.”

He leaned in, ecstatic at the thought of you acting possessive. Even though you’d confessed to having feelings for him, Billy still worried you were ready to bolt at any moment. To see you jealous meant you genuinely cared and he didn’t have to worry about you leaving him. “She’s not my type. I have my eyes on someone else.”

You made a show of looking around the restaurant. “Oh, is Madani here too?”

“Funny,” he retorted, taking your hand in his.

“Your ginger’s lucky. I’m dressed way too nice or I’d take my knife and stab her with it.”

He smirked. “You’re vicious when you’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous. I just don’t like bad service.”

“Bullshit.”

“Billy, you’re hot. You know that. All the women here are checking you out. If I freaked out every time someone did that, I’d have a breakdown.”

He wanted to destroy the fucking world at the thought of someone even looking at you but apparently you were simply ambivalent about him. “So it’s that easy for you? Your brain tells you to turn off a feeling and your heart just does it?” Even to his own ears he sounded bitter. “Guess you’re not all that invested in me.”

Your eyebrow quirked up, apparently surprised by his edgy tone. “Do you want me to go nuts?”

“Just want you to give a damn.”

“You think I don’t?” you snapped. “Every time she looks at you I want to tear her hair out. Even though the rational part of me knows she’s probably just flirting with you because it’s part of her job or she’s hoping for big tips. Or maybe she really does want to fuck you. Either way, I want to punch her across the face. Happy?” You gulped down your wine.

Grinning, he squeezed your hand. “Then why not just tell me that? Why act like you don’t care?”

The agitated expression on your face was replaced with tenderness, your eyes soft. “Just because I don’t have a jealous fit doesn’t mean I don’t care. I just…” You exhaled a sigh, and he sensed this was difficult for you. “I express my emotions differently than you.”

“I noticed. You put on an act while holding everything in.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“But I want you, the real you, not the version everyone else sees.”

“It’s not that easy, Billy.”

He brought your palm to his lips. “I’d never told anyone about my mother.”

“You didn’t tell me either,” you pointed out.

“You found out anyway, and I’m so fucking glad you did. Otherwise I wouldn’t have realized I could be real with you.” He placed a tender kiss on your skin. “I don’t want to hide anything from you, Y/N.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Then tell me about William Rawlins.”

Your request gave him pause, his eyes roaming over your face. He’d taken painstaking measures to keep his partnership with Rawlins a secret yet you’d discovered it. “What do you want to know?”

“He gave you a lot of money.”

“I earned that money,” he said in a defensive tone. “He and I were partners for a while. Then he died.”

“You went to a lot of trouble to hide your connection to him.”

“You found out about it though.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “I’m good at what I do.”

“Yeah, too good,” he muttered. He released your hand, watching you intently. “So what do you want to know?”

You leaned in closer, your voice barely above a whisper. He was momentarily distracted by the sensation of your tits pressed against him but he forced himself to concentrate.

“What happened to Rawlins, did you have anything to do with it?”

Billy took a swig of his wine. “Why do you think that?”

You quirked your eyebrow at him. “Knifed by someone in the parking lot. They never found the guy who did it.”

“He had a lot of enemies,” he pointed out.

“Okay, so maybe I was wrong.”

He studied you for several seconds, trying to decide if he should take the leap or not. “You’re not wrong.”

Realization dawned on your face as the truth set in. “Why did you do it?”

“You sure you want to know?”

“I’m asking, aren’t I?”

So he told you, about Operation Cerberus, his role in it and the money he earned, how he’d eliminated Rawlins a year ago when the prick plotted to take out Frank and his family. To this day Frank didn’t know about Billy’s partnership with Rawlins or how close he came to dying and he intended to keep it that way.

Throughout his confession his eyes were glued to your face, gauging your reactions. The part of him determined to do anything to be a success, the one who didn’t let society’s morals get in the way of his ambitions, would never be accepted by his closest friends. Despite the myriad of reasons to have kept that side of himself hidden, he didn’t want to do that with you. Because as risky as it was to be so open with you, it was also exhilarating. There was no one in this world he’d ever been this honest with and that kind of intense connection with you was addictive. He wanted you to know everything about him, all of the dark and vicious thoughts that ran through his head, the burning ambition that kept pushing him forward. He wanted you to know him inside and out and he wanted the same from you.

Before he could prod you to speak your mind the server came by with your dishes, setting your meals on the table. The redhead took her time, all the whilst your gaze was focused on the table, avoiding his. Billy’s heart started to pound in his chest, he was suddenly filled with doubt. Had he made a mistake in telling you the truth? Did he just completely fuck this up? Every second the goddamn redhead lingered at the table felt like an eternity when all he wanted was to shake you out of your stupor.

The second the server left, he moved in on you. “Are you gonna say something?”

You finally looked at him, your forehead burrowed. “We need to do a better job of hiding your history with Rawlins. I found it, that means someone else can too.”

“You gonna help me with that?”

You shook your head ‘yes’. “Yeah, I have to. You need me.”

“What I did doesn’t bother you?”

You exhaled a heavy sigh. “Of course it does, but there’s nothing I can do about it. You’ve seen me at my worst and you didn’t judge me. I won’t do that to you either. Besides, when the universe deals you a shitty hand you’ve got to find other ways to even out your odds.”

A strange feeling of warmth flooded over him, compelling him to angle forward and kiss you on the lips.

You pulled away a second later, smiling at him as you rubbed the corner of his mouth. “This lipstick isn’t kiss-proof.”

“I don’t care.” Wicked visions of you flashed through his mind. Your bold red lips wrapped around his cock, sucking him off the way he liked it. His cum spread over your tits, your neck, your lips. The taste of your sweet, delicious cunt on his tongue as he fucked you with his mouth. The heat of your tongue against his as he rammed into you over and over-

“Stop looking at me like that,” you warned.

“Then stop looking so hot,” he snarked.

You smiled, biting down on your bottom lip.

It blew his mind how sweet and shy you were when he paid you compliments, like you didn’t expect that from him. Obviously he needed to fix that, because you deserved to know how insanely beautiful you were all the time.

“Has Anvil been okay without Rawlins?” you asked, taking a bite out of your butternut squash ravioli.

Swallowing his steak, he wiped his mouth with a napkin. “It was tough for a while but we’ve been doing pretty well the last few months.”

“You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished, Billy. You took a big risk going into business for yourself and you made it work. That’s amazing. I could never do that.”

Billy’s insides radiated with happiness. Other than Curtis and Frank he never really had people who genuinely believed in him so to have you cheering him on was exalting. Especially considering you were great at what you did and he had so much respect for you.

He poured himself and you more wine before reaching for your hand again. “I think you could. You’d make a shitload of money if you freelanced.”

You shook your head ‘no’. “No way, I’m too much of a coward to take a risk like that.” You took a sip of your wine. “Plus I get to go to Paris for work.”

“Or you could go to Paris on vacation and not work.”

“Then I’d have to pay for it,” you pointed out, grinning. “When you grow up the way I did, you learn to appreciate free things.”

Your enthusiasm was infectious, he couldn’t hep but smile back. A part of him was hoping this would be the perfect opening for you to talk more about your childhood, about everything you went through, because he desperately wanted you to trust him as much as he trusted you with his secrets.

“I’ll be there for two weeks,” you continued, oblivious to his disappointment. “We’re going to scout out locations for the new branch and-”

“We?” Billy interjected.

You cast him a quick glance. “Roger’s coming with me on the trip.”

The jealousy that struck him felt like a swift kick to his gut. Images of you and that goddamn bastard traipsing around and enjoying romantic date nights in Paris assaulted his mind. Agitated, he pulled his hand from yours. “I bet that fucker can’t wait to be alone with you.”

“Billy, come on. You can’t be serious.”

“How would you feel if I took off with someone who wanted to fuck me?”

“First of all, he doesn’t want me.”

His jaw clenched with frustration as he glared at you. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’s thought about fucking you.”

“Even if he does, I don’t want him.” You reached out to cup his face, your voice so soft and tender in your attempts to placate him that he momentarily forgot how upset he was. “You really think I’d jeopardize what we have for a fling with Roger? I wouldn’t do that.”

“Then don’t go. Turn him down.”

Irritation flickered over your face, he could tell you were done coddling him. “Billy, you have no right to ask me that. I’d never interfere with your work.”

Underneath all that jealousy he knew you were right. As much as he despised the idea of you going away to Paris with another guy, he couldn’t demand that you not go on work trips. If you did that to him, it would annoy the fuck out of him. Yet despite his rational side recognizing he was asking for too much, he couldn’t help but feel bitter. “That asshole’s gonna make a move on you, I know it.”

“What if he does? What do you think is gonna happen?”

Hs eyes met yours, urgently seeking some kind of validation from you. “You tell me.”

“Do you think I’m going to sleep with him?”

He flinched. “Don’t talk about fucking another guy, please. You’re gonna make me lose my appetite.”

You took his hand and placed it over your left breast, probably to distract him from all the disgusting images that were running through his brain. “I wanted you so badly and even then it took me like a month to fuck you. Trust me, I’m not going to sleep with him when I’m not even attracted to him.”

Spotting the earnestness in your eyes, the knot in his stomach finally loosened. Roger may have had a hard-on for you but Billy knew you felt nothing for the fucker. He’d noticed that even at the night of the gala. So that meant he had to trust you, there was no reason not to. “Call me every night when you’re there,” he grumbled.

“Every night? You’re probably going to start blocking my calls,” you laughed.

He booped your nose. “Every. Fucking. Night.”

You beamed. “Fine.” A wicked glint flashed in your eyes, a seductive smile on your lips as you slowly moved his hand lower, his fingers now on your nipple. “Hey, just ‘cause you’re not there with me doesn’t mean we can’t have fun.”

He stroked your nipple over the fabric of your dress, enjoying how the nub hardened under his touch, the way your breath hitched in your throat when he continued his ministrations. With his other hand he tucked your hair behind your ear, whispering to you. “Phone sex is alright, but nothing beats this.” His tongue curved along the shell of your ear, and you trembled against him. “Right?”

The waitress seemed to come out of nowhere this time to ask how your meals were, and you jumped back. Disappointed, he sighed.

“Food was great. Thank you,” you replied, smiling stiffly at the redhead.

“Can I get you anything else?”

“Privacy would be great,” Billy muttered.                                                            

You kicked him under the table. “Dessert menu?”

“Sure. I’ll bring it right over,” the waitress said, taking your plates away.  

“I’ll give you all the sugar you want once we get outta here,” he murmured seductively, caressing your thigh.

You giggled, rolling your eyes. “That’s a terrible line!” You took his hand and removed it from your thigh. “Billy, I’m not sleeping with you tonight.”

“Why not?”                                                      

“Because it’s our first date and I don’t put out on the first date.”

“Now that’s a terrible line,” he fired back, mimicking your earlier tone.

“Also, we already had sex this morning.”

“So? I’m greedy. I can’t get enough of you.” There was that shy smile of yours again, and he reached out to give you a sweet peck on the cheek. “You blush every time I tease you.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, it’s adorable.”

Your cheeks grew even more red. “I’m not used to it from you. A part of me still thinks you’re bullshitting me.”

Billy stiffened. “Really?”

“I know you’re not playing me,” you reassured. “It’s on me, not you. I just have a hard time accepting when good things happen.”

The waitress came by with the dessert menu. He briefly glanced at it before ordering a slice of pecan pie while you ordered a piece of chocolate cake.

As soon as the redhead left, he broached the topic with you again. “I’m not gonna hurt you, babe. You have to believe that.”

You didn’t look at him, your eyes fixed somewhere on his chest. “I do. You were so pissed off at me last night. I honestly expected you to hit me because you were so angry. But you didn’t.”

It made him sick to his stomach that you actually thought him capable of hitting you. It hadn’t even occurred to him that you would worry about that, but of course you would. With your childhood it made perfect sense, he was just a fucking idiot who hadn’t realized how much it still impacted you. “I’m never gonna lay a hand on you. I swear.” His eyes locked with yours, hoping you can sense how much he meant those words.

“I believe you.”

His voice was insistent, his gaze boring into you. “Why did you think I would?”

Your eyes wavered from his eyes to his lips for a long time, the atmosphere thick with tension. Your facial expressions ran the gamut of painful emotions, from uncertainty to fear to sheer panic.

It finally sank in that maybe the reason you were keeping the truth from him had noting to do with if you trusted him or not. Maybe you didn’t want to be assaulted by memories from the past that caused you so much pain. The last thing he wanted was for you to experience that hell again. Regretting his demanding tone, his hands caressed down the length of your arms. “You don’t have to tell me, It’s okay.”

Your eyes brimmed with aching vulnerability as you looked up at him. “I want to… I just… give me some time, okay?” You pressed your lips against his, giving him the softest, sweetest kiss. “I’ve been looking forward to tonight for so long, I don’t want to ruin it, you know?”

His heart felt full, his mind reeling with wonderment at the thought of you truly reciprocating his feelings. His arms wrapped around you as you sank into him, burying your face in his chest. His fingers stroked the back of your hair, murmuring soft, soothing words to you. Somewhere in the distance he heard the server’s voice trying to interject, but he didn’t give a damn.  He was yours and you were his and nothing was going to ruin that. Nothing.

Part 18

A/N - I realize not much happened in this chapter but I just reallly wanted to write a dialogue heavy part where they simply get to know and enjoy each other. I think they’ve earned some fluff. LOL.

As always, thank you for your kind words of encouragement. Please let me know your thoughts.

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[abcd-adventures]

I keep thinking that life is going to slow down...maybe I should give that up...

I have officially finished grad school!! I do still have to take my licensure exam on August 4th, but I am feeling pretty prepared for it. I’ll still study right up until the last moment though because that is just what my brain demands. Currently doing a re-read of the DSM--fun times. 

In AWESOME news, I get to keep doing the job I’ve been doing as part of my field placement!! One of the full-time social workers transferred to another location that is closer to where she lives. My boss suggested that I apply to fill her vacant position. I told her that I can’t work full-time at this point in my life. She insisted that if I liked my job I should apply. I did. Long story short: my co-workers, my boss, and the senior management did SO MUCH to ensure that I could stay. I get to do the BEST job and I get to do it four days a week and with crazy manageable hours that work with my life AND I still get 401K benefits and paid time off plus free supervision for my LCSW. I seriously could cry (I did cry). I love this job and the clients and the people I work with so much. I have no idea how I am so lucky, but I’m endlessly grateful!

In other news, my family is doing well! B is three already and just so funny and amazing and smart (and sometimes frustrating). He’s settled into his part-time Mother’s Day Out routine and it’s perfect socialization for him without being too much. My mom picks him up between 12:30/1 and he takes a short nap and then she gives him snack and I’m home by 3:45. It’s a nice balance and although it hasn’t been seamless having my mom live with us, it is SO NICE to have that balance of support for B.

C is almost done with his year of time to figure things out (he gave himself this time limit, not us), and he’s leaning heavily toward getting his pilot license or joining the military. Definitely not thrilled with that latter option, but his father’s family and my family have a super long history of military service and I’ll support him no matter what...even if that would not be my choice for him. He came home a couple weeks ago, and it was SO LOVELY to spend time with him. He’s been great about communicating and staying in touch, but it’s still nice to get to hug your people.

The husband’s company is expanding and opening up a new location in an adjacent town. He’s been with this company for fifteen years and it pays well, has great benefits, and the hours are stable and not too excessive for the crazy tech industry. But, he’s bored and he hates managing so many people. He will likely have a chance to transfer and help establish this new location and he’s very ready for a change but hasn’t been tempted by any of the other options out there. A couple members of his team went to Tesla recently--literally every one of them wanted their jobs back within a couple months. I’m hoping he gets to make the move to his company’s new location. 

Anyway, we’re alive! We’re doing well! I miss you guys! <3

[bokuroskitten]

c-cockwarming with kuroo kenma bo ushi and iwa? 😳

I’ve got some real big brained anons asking me real big brained asks😌

ℌℭ ❦

〈 Kuroo, Kenma, Bokuto, Ushijima and Iwaizumi and how they like cockwarming

✵ genre: NSFW 18+ (Minors DNI)

✵ warnings: cockwarming, dom/sub dynamics (daddy, papa, & sir titles used), mentions of voyeurism

Kenma would have you warming him up all the time if he could, so every chance he gets he’s calling you over. Gaming, streaming, watching tv, doing just about anything, he loves sliding you down nice and slow on his cock. Your walls have been fit to his cock by now, so it’s always the perfect squeeze when you sit on him. Typically he’ll have you sit in his lap, back against his chest so you can do what you want as well, but mostly it’s so whenever he is live steaming he can suddenly thrust within you, watch the way you desperately try to keep your composure so the chat won’t start talking about how flushed you suddenly look.

“K-Kenma...” you murmur softly, feeling the warmth from your face slowly begin to spread along your chest. A smirk flickered over Kenma’s features, only for a brief moment, before he was back to that serious look, eyes glued to his game. “Yea babe?” He spoke, nonchalant as ever. That had your cheeks puffing up briefly, eyes darting from his game to the webcam that had the little green light on. You knew very well the stream was on, and considering the number in the bottom corner just kept steadily rising, you couldn’t just blurt out loud ‘Quit moving your hips’. Before you could even really get the thought out, Kenma knew, thrusting his hips up once more. One fluid motion of his body and his cock was hitting perfectly along your sweet spot. This time you couldn’t hold back the little Yelp that bubbled from your lips. Kenma had to laugh, quick to mute his mic as the chat began to pop off. He wouldn’t turn it off though. Oh no. He just got close to your ear, whispered in that voice he knew you loved.

“Better relax Kitten, or I’m gonna have to fuck you right here on stream. So sit pretty for me... unless my naughty girl wants it... you want it, baby?”

⋆⋆⋆

Kuroo is on his computer a lot, doing work and attending online meetings. He has set up a nice little office space for himself and he finds himself in there a little more than he likes. Especially since he has such a cute little kitty at home just waiting to be played with. Sometimes, when you just can’t stay away from him you poke your head in the door, the little mewl you let out making Kuroos brows twitch. Only a couple of pleas from your pretty lips has him caving. He likes when you straddle him, your little cunt fluttering so perfectly around his cock. He also likes how hard you cling to him, face in his neck and fingers getting lost in the hairs at the nape of his neck. Whenever he feels your hips begin to rock he’ll tsk, putting an easy stop to it.

“Kitty, don’t get greedy,” Kuroo speaks right beside your ear, goosebumps easily rising along your arms as you let out a needy whine. You hope it’s pretty enough to make Kuroo cave, or at least enough to make him let go of your hips. “P-Please Daddy, needa feel more of you in my cunny.” And it was true, you’re puffy walls were currently hugging him so perfectly, squeezing along his cock. Your legs tightened about his waist, wanting to add some friction to your clit that was currently throbbing for it. But Kuroo still had work to do, and even though your pleas made him weak at the knees, made his resolve wanna crumble so he could fuck you right here on the desk, he had to teach his pretty baby some patience. So he gave your rear a swat, a warning along with a hum.

“I know baby I know... your cunny is just fluttering like crazy around Daddy’s cock today. But just a little longer. So no more whining.”

You clung to him tighter, muffling your whines into the side of his neck and suckling the skin there instead. You stilled your hips though. Kuroo had to smile, fingers beginning to tap away at his keyboard again while your perfect velvet walls hugged his cock.

⋆⋆⋆

Part of Bokuto’s job was staying fit, considering he was constantly active out on the court. The gym he set up in your shared apartment was nothing short of impressive, and you couldn’t help poking in there while he was grunting away. Skin shining with sweat, muscles ripping as he lifted the next set of weights, you couldn’t help but lick your lips, or the little flood that happened between your thighs. Usually, Bokuto could wait until he was done, but sometimes you just looked too good, so desperate and needy as you clung to that door frame, basically drooling at him. He would take a seat, pulling you into his lap.

“12...13...14...” Bokuto’s voice was strained in the best possible way, his chest fluttering as you suddenly clenched down around him. He slowly lowered the weights to his sides a grin growing on his face as he felt your little nails dig deeper into his thighs. He pressed up into you, grin growing at the yelp you released. You could feel your cheeks heat up, pussy desperately milking his cock when it slapped against your cervix. “P-Papa!” You whined, looking back at him with tears swimming in your pretty eyes. “‘M sorry pretty Birdy... sometimes I can’t help but tease you when this perfect little cunt is squeezing me so good.” He pressed a few kisses along your cheeks, before he took hold of your jaw, forced your eyes back on the mirror in front of the two of you. “But Papa needs more motivation so he finishes his workout. So spread so legs back open, wanna see your pussy splitting.” And you had no choice but to listen, only thinking of how he’d pin you to the mirrors later to fuck you stupid. So you lulled your legs back open, biting your lip as he moaned at the sight of your stuffed hole.

“Perfect...” he breathed, keeping his eyes glued to the reflection as he hauled the weights back up to continue his count.

⋆⋆⋆

Ushijima isn’t much for PDA. Those little touches you always give him, running those pretty fingers along toned arms in public. It’s just too much for him. But Ushijima is a collected man, knows how to hold himself back. And know very well you’re doing it all on purpose. You’re his pretty baby, after all, he knows how you like to tease, pressing into his side on the subway or leaning down to look at something with a skirt that’s just a little too short. Ushi knows, when the two of you get home, your frame already vibrating with excitement, he had no problem pulling you onto his cock.

“More... more Sir....” the whine you release around his fingers as he stuffs them between your lips is high pitched, almost a little offended as tears swirl in your gaze. But Ushijima doesn’t budge, doesn’t move one inch other than his long fingers which are now pumping in your mouth. Your left whimpering around him, his cock throbbing within your walls and stretching you open without even moving an inch. “Maybe if you hadn’t been so handsy today and just asked for some dick like a good girl, you wouldn’t be in this position.” Ushijima huffed out, brows knitting together at the mess of drool that already started to bubble down your chin and around his knuckles. “But because you can’t keep your hands to yourself, you’re gonna keep my cock warm until I feel like fucking, are we clear.”

He knew you couldn’t respond, but the mewl you release as your fingers dig deeper into the skin of his thighs is satisfying enough to have a subtle smirk twitching on his lips.

⋆⋆⋆

Iwaizumi likes the closeness that comes along with cock warming, especially after a long day. There are some days where your schedules just don’t aline until late into the evening when the sun has already set. You’re both too exhausted for any sort of sex, but still want to be close to one another, want to share soft kisses and embraces. So once you two have dressed down for the night you curl up on your shared bed, finding a comfortable spot together.

“Princess...” Iwaizumi sighs into your ear, his palms slipping under the fabric of your shirt so he could the warmth of your skin. You mewl in response, nuzzling your nose into the crook of his neck before pressing wet kisses along the column. “Love you so much daddy...” you murmur back to him softly, your eyes fluttering a bit as he twitched between your walls. He was slowly growing, filling you up inch by inch until that familiar squeeze was apart between your thighs. It always felt so good, being stuffed by him when you drifted off into sleep. A smile curled on Iwa’s sleepy features, the familiar grip of your cunt around his dick making him sigh out in content.

“Love you too, my pretty princess.” He kisses along the crown of your head, hands massaging down your back as you cling to him tighter, sleep weighing down your eyes.

[winter-soldier-vibes]

You’re not going to work (Bucky x Reader)

Bucky x reader

Word count: 1612

Summary: Bucky comes back from a long mission so excited to see you. Little does he know, you have a full schedule that day. At least, you planned to. No way is he going to wait any longer. 

Warnings: no explicit anything this is mainly just fluff. The ending hints at a few things but really, Bucky just wants cuddles. 

A/N: This is just a fun one I had an idea for. One night right before I fell asleep I was like ‘Bucky would be cute begging for cuddles’ and voila. It’s a bit of a change of pace for me but I hope you enjoy it!

A/N 2 : This is my first time writing something like this so I apologize if it’s not fantastic. 

Tags: @abitgryffindorky @buckys2thicc @buckfics @thatfangirl42 @freigeistundanderes

---------------------

Bucky nearly collapsed back into his seat on the quinjet after boarding. He might have had the serum, but that didn’t mean he was immune from exhaustion and soreness. He’d be fine by tomorrow but for right now, all he can do is lean back and close his eyes.

He was fine with going on missions. It was a part of the job, and he enjoyed helping people. Beating HYDRA’s ass was also a nice plus. He was also able to plan for it: he knew when a mission would be and approximately how long it would be. He knew what to expect. 

For the most part, mission briefings were pretty accurate. Some are overestimated.

Some are gravely underestimated. 

They expected to be home later the night they left. Bucky scoffed now at the idea of that. They had been fighting for a few days, with roughly a few hours scattered throughout to regroup. He had prepared himself to not see you for 12 hours at most. 

It had been 4 days. He was exhausted, he was sore, but more painful than that, he missed you. 

He wanted nothing more than to come back to the compound, ignore all traffic laws on the way to your shared apartment, and spend the entire day with you in his arms.

He sighed contently. He couldn’t wait. So when he arrived back and saw that you were dressed for work, his heart stuttered. 

He was meant to get back Friday night. It was now Tuesday morning, and you had a day full of meetings. 

You still had your back to him as he entered. When you heard the door close, you turned around, a smile spreading wide on your face.

“You’re back!” you said excitedly, staying in your place. You were so happy to see him, but your smile faltered slightly when you saw how worn out he looked. He smiled back at you, but you could tell the mission had been brutal on him.

Still he walked toward you and moved to hug you and you stepped back. Bucky looked like you had kicked him. 

“Sorry, I just… I have work.” you said, looking down at your white blouse. 

“Too bad,” he said, pulling you in for a hug. 

“Bucky!” you exclaimed, trying to pull back. Bucky wouldn’t budge though, and you were no match for the grip of his bear hug. He held you tightly and closed his eyes, despite your squirming.

“Bucky, please, I have to go. I’m gonna be late.”

“I don’t care. I was 4 days late coming home, you can be a day late to work,” he said.

You laughed a little, trapped in his embrace. It was a nice place to be, but not when you had a meeting starting in 30 minutes. “Bucky, I want nothing more than to stay with you, but it doesn’t work that way.”

“Doesn’t it?” he asked, pulling back to look at you while still holding you tightly. “Call in, tell them you have a personal emergency.”

“And what would that emergency be?”

“You have to take care of your sick boyfriend,” he said innocently.

You bit back a smile and a laugh. “And what’s the diagnosis?”

His eyes darted away for a second before he shook his head slightly. “Irrelevant. All I know is that you’re the cure. There’s no way to tell how sick I’ll get if you leave.”

“Ah, I see,” you said, playing along with it. He was giving you his puppy eyes. The ones you never used to be able to say no to. Damn those eyes - they could kill or get you to fold to anything. You had gotten better at standing your ground though, saying “Well, I am all yours tonight, but right now, I need to go to work,” as you finally wrestled out of his embrace.

You were used to puppy eyes, but that didn’t mean you were used to his kicked-puppy eyes. 

You sighed. 106 year old ex-assassin in full tactical gear, covered in mud and a few scrapes looked like he was about to cry because you wouldn’t call in sick to give him cuddles. It was cute, and you felt bad. But at some point you had to stand your ground.

“Please?” he asked, borderline whining but he didn’t care. All he cared about was keeping you from walking out of the door.

“Bucky I -”

“Fine,” he said, dropping the puppy eyes and walking towards you. You looked at him confused. “Bucky what are you -” you yelped in surprise as he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. “You’ve been kidnapped. Your boss can’t blame you for missing work due to being kidnapped.” 

He brought you into your shared bedroom and sat down, positioning you so you were on his lap, his arms not allowing you to move. You down at him, sighing. “You’re not going to let me go are you?”

He shook his head giving you a slight smirk. “Not a chance doll.”

You looked at him for a few seconds and shook your head smiling a little, biting your lip slightly. He leaned forward and captured your lips in a kiss, you wrapping your arms around your neck.

“I missed you,” you breathed out.

“You have no idea,” he responded before kissing you again.

You pulled back much too soon for Bucky’s liking, and stood, saying “Let me call my boss really quick, okay?”

“Nope,” he responded, pulling you back on his lap. “You’ll call her later and apologize for the delay, and that your boyfriend was violently ill and you called at the first moment you could. But right now, we are going to go shower.”

“You can shower alone, and I’ll go call her”

“No,” he pouted.

“You are an adult Bucky,” you said, laughing slightly at his ridiculousness.

“Exactly, I’m too old to be showering alone.”

“Oh my god,” you said, breaking out in giggles. “Bucky, it’s going to take me 10 seconds. I’ll be in by the time the water’s warmed up and then we can shower together, okay?”

He studied you for a moment. Then he stood up, carrying you bridal style with him back out to the main room where you had left your phone. “Call her,” he said, still holding you.

You bit back a smile at how clingy he was being. You grabbed your phone and dialed your boss’ number holding your breath as it rang. 

“Hello?”

“Hi Valerie. I’m sorry for the late notice but my boyfriend is really sick and I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it into work today.”

There was a moment of silence before your boss responded with “He got back this morning didn’t he?”

You closed your eyes for a moment, looking down. You had been worried at work yesterday because he hadn’t gotten back yet. She must have overheard “Yes.”

She sighed but on the other end she was also smiling a little. “Alright. Just be here tomorrow.”

You let out a small breath of relief. “Thank you.”

“Yep. Tell him I hope his separation anxiety improves,” she said, hanging up the phone. You tried your best not to burst out laughing. When Bucky looked at you questioningly, you shook your head. “Work joke,” you said, still trying to hide your smile. 

Bucky nodded, walking back towards the bedroom and into the attached bathroom. He set you down on the counter before turning on the water. He walked back over to you and stood between your legs, wrapping his arms behind your back. You wrapped your arms around his neck in return, and the two of you rested your foreheads against each other. 

It was a nice quiet moment of peace, before you felt the warmth of Bucky’s hands leave their spot on your back, and travel lower to your -

“Bucky,” you laughed a little, “Did you miss me, or my ass?”

“Yes,” he answered quickly. 

You laughed some more and Bucky loved it. God he missed that sound. He laughed a little with you.

“Really, I missed everything about you,” he said, pulling back to look at you. “I love your voice, your laugh, your ass,” he kissed you before adding “the amazing neck massage you’re about to give me.”

You looked up at him. “Oh really, yeah? That’s how this is gonna be?”

Bucky looked down at you innocently. “Mhm”

“I hate giving you massages”

“You love it”

“It hurts my thumbs”

“It helps my neck”

“Your muscles are too hard”

“Your hands are too soft.”

You looked up at him and smiled, laughing a little as you asked “You really want a massage?”

“Yes I very much would like one.” He said nodding enthusiastically and smiling. 

“Ok, fine.” you said, still laughing. “The hot water will help. But we should probably take our clothes off first.”

He stepped back and gave you a smirk. “Don’t have to tell me twice.”

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 12) - Not So Sweet Home

Summary: Jensen is fed up with his parents ignoring Y/N all day and when he gets a moment alone, blows up on them like never before. The reader sees how upset Jensen is over what’s happening and does her best to defend him while still trying to salvage a relationship with them...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 6,200ish

Warnings: language, major family angst, mention of a dead parent

A/N: Eek! If you like angst this part is for you! Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

________

It was late, the kids asleep in the guest bedroom, Jensen’s siblings and their families gone home for the evening aside from his brother. He made some half ass excuse about wanting to hang out with Jensen more but you knew he could sense what you did. Jensen was getting close to popping after a whole day of politeness on his part and his parents ignoring you on theirs.

Jensen was bouncing his knee like crazy as he sipped on his beer around a gas fire pit, suddenly stopping when you shifted in your seat.

“Maybe you ought to cool it with the alcohol tonight,” said his dad. Jensen set his empty bottle down on the grass and breathed deeply through his nose. “Your legs been-”

“Y/N, would you get me another beer please?” asked Jensen. You took the opportunity to get out of there, surprised when the back door opened quickly after you, his brother closing it behind him.

“I don’t think your parents like me very much,” you said, going to the fridge and pulling out a drink. 

“I know,” he said, glancing out the dark window. “Jensen asked me to make sure you don’t come back out there.”

“He’s gonna go off on them.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m guessing,” he said with a sigh. “I have a feeling this isn’t going to go well. You guys can crash at my place if you want. We don’t have a guest room but we have an air mattress we can put in the family room.”

“You think it’ll be that bad?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly.

“Then why are we in here talking about this when we should be out there making sure he doesn’t say something he regrets in the morning.”

“You might hear things you can’t unhear,” he said. 

“Right now my concern isn’t if my feelings get hurt. He’s really upset and I need him to be okay.”

“You know that’s why the rest of us like you, don’t you? You care about him, the kids. You’re in love with him.”

“Yes I am,” you said as he nodded.

“You call me if either of you ever need anything,” he said, going back to the door. You nodded and took a deep breath, following him outside and already hearing raised voices.

“She’s half your age, Jensen,” said his mom. “She was your nanny. Sweetie you have to know what’s going on here.”

“You’re getting played,” said his father, catching you walking out with Josh.

“She is not half my age. She’s thirty fucking years old! She’s a goddamn adult and been through more shit then both of you put together! She’s not after fucking money,” snapped Jensen who was already out of his seat.

“You’re engaged to the girl after five months!” said his father. “It took you years to propose the first time around!”

“Because I was a nervous kid that was away working constantly. I didn’t want to make Dee stay if it was gonna make her unhappy. I’m not afraid of how I feel anymore because I feel the same about her as I do Dee and I’m not wasting my time so I can stick to your socially acceptable schedule,” said Jensen. “I love her and she’s gonna be part of this family whether you like it or not. Deal with it.”

“You need a prenup,” said his dad.

“No I don’t!”

“Yes you do! You’ve known the girl for not even six months!”

“She’s not up to anything!” shouted Jensen.

“Son-”

“Have you ever lost your wife? Have you ever been in the car and almost die yourself while you watch her breathe for the last time? Where she’s hurt and you can’t do a thing to fix it? Have you ever had to tell your children their mother is dead and she’s not coming back? You have no idea, no idea, what that does to you, how much it hurts and how much it hurts when you’re still so fucked up and your parents start making comments behind closed doors about you and you have to pretend you’re better when you’re really not. When you don’t even care about yourself anymore, when you pretend for everyone’s sake so they stop treating you like a child, when you don’t know how to tell your kids it’s okay because it’s not. It’s not. Until you go through that, until you know how bad it hurts, don’t assume a damn thing about her. She’s my best friend and she makes me feel like my old self again. I laugh and smile and have fun and when I get scared or feel guilty or freak out she makes me feel better. I don’t give a fuck how old she is or what her job was. She’s kind and good and she deserves better than you two. Danneel’s parents like her. Jared’s parents like her. Her old foster dad’s family likes her. Our family likes her except for you two. Get your heads out of your asses or you can not even bother letting me know you exist anymore. I’m done with things hurting the women I care about. I couldn’t stop what happened to Dee but I can sure as hell keep Y/N away from the two of you,” said Jensen. He huffed and walked off, Josh running off after him. 

“Well congratulations. You got your hooks in him deep, don’t you,” said his father. You rolled your eyes and his mother scoffed.

“You can take care of someone without treating them like a child you know. He’s an incredibly strong person. If you don’t like me fine. But don’t call him stupid or easily manipulated or imply that it’s wrong to know you love someone after only a certain amount of time. I love your son.”

“You love his money,” said his mom.

“I do just fine on my own,” you said, narrowing your eyes. “He’s staying at Josh’s house tonight. We’ll pick up the kids in the morning.”

“He’s overreacting. He’ll be fine in the morning,” said his dad. You crossed your arms and leaned your head back. “He’ll be fine.”

“You two don’t know a thing about me and you assume I want money because of my age and my former career. Don’t assume your son will be fine and get over it.”

“We’ve known him a lot longer than you have. He’ll get over it after a night’s rest.”

“You may have known him longer and I’m sure in some regards you do know him better but not the ones that matter. If you did, you would have seen how much he would have loved for the two of you to like me. I would have taken some respect and been happy because trust me, I get how this looks to everyone else. I understand you have fears and I’m not mad you have them. I’m mad you assume those are facts when all they are is a story you made up in your head you don’t want to change. He’s right, I’m not going anywhere. The difference between him and me though is that I’ll stay out here all damn night with the two of you until you get it through your heads that I’m not here to fuck him over. I love him. I don’t have family, not really. Things have always been screwed up for me pretty much until I met him and he didn’t have to say it for me to know that he was hoping he could share the two of you with me. Maybe I was hoping for that too. But right now I’ll take some goddamn respect and an apology to your son to start and we can go from there.”

“You’re gonna curse at us and expect an apology?” said his mom. “We know you took him when he was at his low and tricked him into trusting you so you could get exactly what you wanted.”

“You know what I want? What I’ve always wanted and somehow always seems to get ripped away? A family. A stupid fucking family. Being a nanny? That let me feel like part of the family. I could pretend I was like all of those people I worked for. Nice and normal and like people gave a shit. Some kindness and a family is all I’ve ever wanted. You two...you wouldn’t have survived a day in my childhood. In my adulthood with the shitty ex boyfriend and the crappy friends and I picked myself over all of them because my mom told me to stand up for myself. Even when she couldn’t be there and I wanted her to. So I stand up for myself and now I stand up for him and those three kids to anyone and I mean anyone, that hurts them. He’s my family and those kids are my family. I don’t know what you think I’m gonna do but I guarantee the only thing I will do is tell you two where to shove it and to leave him the hell alone.”

“Why would we believe anything you say? At all?” his dad asked. “It’s probably the same sad story you told him to get him on the line. I don’t buy it.”

“I have a million dollar book deal. I’ve worked rent free for a lot of rich people since I was eighteen years old. Do I sound like someone who needs his money?” you said. You put your hands on your hips and shook your head. “What is it? You want me to sign a prenup? I would but he doesn’t want one. He trusts me and for a guy that lost his wife and had to work through falling in love with another person, I respect that. He knows what he wants and he’s not wasting time. This is scary for him. It’s scary for me. But when Dee’s parents gave me open arms and kindness and their blessing, the last people I ever expected to disapprove were you two. If you’re going to stand there and keeping calling me a liar, I’m going to find your sons and I’m going take care of Jensen instead of wasting my time here.”

“We don’t disapprove of him moving on and marrying again,” said his mom as you turned to walk away.

“Could have fooled me,” you said. 

“He’s going too fast and he doesn’t know you either, not well enough to make a decision like that,” said his dad. You turned around and smiled.

“He knows my favorite color. He knows what my favorite flavor of ice cream is. He knows why I have nightmares and he knows how to make me forget them in the first place. I’m sorry we aren’t doing things on your schedule but it’s his life. He can do whatever the fuck he wants with it, whether that’s me or somebody else. For the record, he knows me just fine. Oh and if this is how you plan on speaking to him again in the morning, I’ll pick up the kids myself.”

“We’re looking out for his best interest,” said his dad.

“No, you think you’re looking at his wallet for him. See money? People think that’s important and it is but best interest? It ain’t that shit,” you said as you started to leave.

“Well what do you assume his best interest is then?” said his mom. 

“Treating him like an adult. He is smart and strong and the most emotionally healthy man I’ve ever met which considering all the fucked up shit he’s been through and felt the past year is really saying something. He’s your child but he’s not a child. He found someone he loves and all he wanted to do was share me with you. This was his worst nightmare and I couldn’t stop it. So if you’re not gonna even try with me, then I’m gonna protect him from you.”

“He doesn’t need protecting from us,” he said.

“You call him stupid and that he can’t take care of himself, that he can be fooled and that the person he thinks is his best friend really only wants him for his money. He knows none of those things are true but it’s what you said to him when you said that about me. For a man who went through what he did, it wasn’t mean. It was cruel. I’m gonna go fix what I can of your relationship with him because despite all that, I know you guys love each other and I’m not letting that get fucked up because you think whatever the hell you think about me.”

You stormed off around the house and found Josh’s truck still there but neither man in sight. You looked around and heard a sniffle, your head going up to the roof. You saw the lattice work on the side and climbed up, peeking your head up to spot the two of them sat on the roof.

“Hey,” you said quietly. Jensen wouldn’t look at you, Josh rubbing his back. 

“Careful,” he said as you climbed up and slowly walked over. You took a seat on your bottom, spotting the window behind them. “That was my room. Jensen used to sneak out this way. I was always too nervous of getting caught to try myself. You landed the bad boy of the family.”

“Oh yeah, such a bad boy,” you said. You scooted closer on your butt to him, Jensen resting his head on his knees. “Hey. Before you even think about it don’t say you’re sorry.”

“I know,” he said. He took a deep breath but looked up, looking fairly normal aside from a slightly pink nose. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Nobody was,” said Josh. “I’ll give you guys a minute. I’ll be in my car when you’re ready.”

“You should go home,” said Jensen. “Staying in a different house won’t change anything.”

“That was kinda fucked up what they said.” Jensen raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. “I don’t always agree with them. If you guys want to stay, that’s your choice but I’m not going home without telling them what a mistake they’re making.”

“You don’t have to-”

“You’re my little brother and I like her. Even if I didn’t, they’re being assholes and she doesn’t deserve that. You don’t. Alright?”

Jensen nodded and Josh walked off to the lattice and climbed down while you scooted next to Jensen. 

“You thought your siblings weren’t gonna like me,” you said.

“He’s a good person. He’s never told off our parents before so...I don’t know if I’m happy about that or not.”

“He’s a good big brother,” you said, wrapping your arms around him. “I don’t love you for your family though. I don’t care if your parents don’t like me. I’ll deal with it.”

“I wish you didn’t have to,” he said.

“I still like your dad so much better than mine,” you said.

“Yours is a monster to be fair.”

“Yeah, he is. Yours love you and I don’t agree with them but in their minds, they’re protecting you and I don’t have a problem with anyone trying to do that.”

“How are you so fucking kind to them after they basically said you’re with their dumbass son because of money?”

“Like you said, I know monsters. I know toxic and bad. They aren’t it. They raised you and I really, really like you. Good people can be stupid and still be good. In the morning we’ll try again.”

“What if I can’t get them to change their minds?” he said quietly. 

“Jensen,” you said, moving to squat down in front of him. You grabbed his cheeks and he stared at you. “You don’t have to pick anybody over anybody. Maybe I won’t be close with them but that’s okay. It’s so okay. We’ll respect each other or just won’t talk to each other and we’ll figure it out but we don’t have to do it all tonight.”

“I think what bothers me the most is they’ve already made up their minds about you based on your age when they don’t even realize who you are. They don’t see that this is the kind of person you are, kind and supportive and I heard you not taking their bullshit. You’re a stronger person than I am and I wish they could see that the reason I’m not freaking out over this is cause I know you’re my partner and you got my back like I got yours. I’m just having a hard time understanding why they won’t even listen to us.”

“I don’t know,” you said, eyes darting to the window when you caught some movement inside. You narrowed them and glanced down, spotting the crack between the windowsill and frame. “I’m a little cool. I’m gonna get my sweatshirt if that’s okay.”

“Careful climbing in,” he said, turning on his bottom and pushing the window up. You kissed his cheek and climbed inside, the room empty as far as you could tell. You stepped out to the hall and into his old room, getting your hoodie, his old hoodie. You pulled it on but went downstairs, catching his parents in the kitchen with Josh.

“Josh may I speak to your parents in private,” you said.

“Yeah. I’m done here. I’ll be over for brunch, okay?” he said. He walked past you and caught your arm. “Call me if you need me back.” You nodded and he kissed your temple before he went out. 

“Were you eavesdropping on us?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“We went to tell him to get off the roof. We could see him from the backyard up there,” said his mom, putting her back to you as she mixed up something in a mug. “But we heard the three of you talking and then the two of you. We didn’t mean-”

“We are all on the same side. His side. We should get along. It shouldn’t be this difficult and I don’t appreciate private conversations being listened in on. But I hope you understand that you hurt your son. I know you didn’t mean to and it’s the last thing you’d ever want to do to him. But you did. So please try to help me fix this. This isn’t easy for me to accept that you don’t like me either but you’re gonna respect me. If we can respect each other, then he’s not going to worry as much at least. Please promise that we can agree to that,” you said. His parents looked at each other and you sighed. “You have to be kidding me. What do you want me to do? Go away? I can’t do that. I won’t do that.”

“That’s not...Jensen called your father a monster up there,” he said. 

“I thought it was a sob story according to you ten minutes ago.”

“You said you don’t have parents. He said your father is alive.”

“What’s your point, Mr. Ackles,” you said. “Please enlighten me.”

“It doesn’t make much sense to tell different stories,” he said. 

“You can’t even give me the benefit of the doubt that I love your son. Why the fuck would I tell you things only he knows, things so few people know about. Why would I trust you with the worst parts of my life when you don’t accept the best ones. For your information, my birth mother is dead. My adoptive mother is dead. I wish my son of a bitch father was dead. The only glimmer of a parent I have maybe, maybe was my foster father. That was until last weekend. I met some parents. I met Dee’s. I met Jared’s. I got the same message from all of them. Let us know if you ever need anything. Oh the way he looks at you. You must be pretty special. Anything at all, you give us a call. People that don’t even have an obligation to look in my direction treated me like I was their kid. So maybe he and I both got our hopes up with you two and that was on us. If you want to pick apart what I’ve said and call me a liar…” you said, putting your hands on your hips. Your shut your eyes and breathed deeply, turning around. “I don’t care if you have to pretend to respect me. Just do it for his sake and the kids sakes, alright?”

A tissue appeared over your shoulder and you took it, blowing your nose and stepping away. 

“When did your mother’s pass?” you heard behind you. You threw your head back and took a deep breath.

“When I was born and when I was sixteen,” you said, turning around and swallowing. “Why does that matter?”

“When were you adopted?” he asked.

“Why do you care?”

“Please.”

“I was eight,” you said.

“So you only had your mother for eight years then,” he said. 

“Yeah. She got sick when I was fourteen. I stayed with her boyfriend until I moved out for my first nanny job at eighteen. It was all very sad and angsty,” you said.

“Who made the first move?” 

“I’m done with this interrogation,” you said. You started to leave but he stepped in front of you. “What do you want from me?”

“I just want to know who made the first move, you or Jensen.”

“I don’t…” you trailed off. “We had a fight. I told him I didn’t want him to be my friend anymore, he was just my boss and that was it. We couldn’t hang out at night and stuff anymore.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want him to hurt me,” you said quietly. “I didn’t fit with his life. I’m not a pretty actress. I’m not smart. I’m the younger nanny and that’s all I was gonna be until I became an older nanny and that was supposed to be my life. I didn’t ask for…”

“For what?” asked his mother, carrying over her mug and setting it down on the end table.

“I didn’t ask for him to love me. But he did and I don’t know why but I trusted him not to hurt me. It’s not fairytales and roses all day every day but I like having a best friend and I never would have submitted those books to a publisher without him encouraging me and I need him to feel better. He can’t catch a break lately and I hate seeing him upset. It makes me sick to my stomach and I really, really need him to be okay so please stop doing this. Just stop. Please. I don’t care if we have to pretend the rest of our lives but please, I can’t keep seeing him take hit after hit anymore and not being able to stop it.”

You weren’t expecting the hug from his father or to bury your face in his chest for a brief moment. His mom guided you to sit on the couch, pulling a blanket around you. She handed you the mug and you saw it was hot chocolate, your eyes darting back and forth between them.

“This isn’t about to be like a lifetime movie where you murder me, right?” you said. 

“No,” said his mom as she sat next to you. “We hurt you quite deeply today, didn’t we.”

You stared at the mug, holding it in your hands. 

“You were looking forward to meeting us,” said his dad as he sat down on your other side.

“It doesn’t matter. All I care about is him.”

“I don’t think he’d be very happy with you laying down for a semblance of normalcy for him,” he said.

“Just spit out whatever the fuck you want,” you said. You gripped the mug and shut your eyes.

“I’d like you to stop swearing please,” he said. “In exchange, maybe we can have a second chance.”

“Second chance at what?” you said dryly.

“At meeting our son’s fiance.” You lifted your head and stared at him, catching a bashful look you saw in Jensen every so often. “We understand, as well as we can, he was hurt after Danneel. We can’t fix those problems like when he would scrape his knees. We knew he was in a vulnerable position and things between the two of you seemed so fast for how in pain he was. We thought of the worst of you before knowing you and that wasn’t right of us. We were trying to protect him. But like you said, we all try to do that. So if you’ll let us, give us a second chance.”

“For him, I will give you both a second chance,” you said. “I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you this but this sort of thing isn’t going to go away just like that, for him or for me.”

“Is there anything…” said his mom as you shook your head. “We are sorry for before. Truly.”

“I know. Trust is difficult for me on a normal day. You guys kinda tore through the safety nets I thought I had with you. I need to build them up again is all.”

“That was you that said that, people have safety nets,” she said. You raised and eyebrow and she sighed. “Jensen, months back, he told us his therapist told him that, put things in perspective.”

“I guess couple’s are kinda each other’s therapists,” you said. “Sometimes they just need to vent to each other too.”

“Before you said...has he ever been to one?” asked his dad.

“Last weekend was...intense. I went to one as a child and he talked to him for a little while, helped him put things in perspective,” you said.

“Intense? Did you fight?” she asked.

“He and JJ got stung by a scorpion. It was a little serious. We went out the next night and I made a comment and he took it a different way and he got upset thinking I thought of myself as being less in his eyes than Dee was. I know it’s not true, it’s just different. He’s been having a really great week aside from today.”

You took a sip of the hot chocolate and went back for more, drinking half the mug down. 

“We screwed up,” said his dad with a sigh, sitting back against the couch. 

“Yeah but he’ll forgive you,” you said. “This is really good Mrs. Ackles.”

“Thank you sweetie and call me Donna. I made it for Jensen. He’s always liked it when he was living here and having a bad day.”

“Why do you think he’ll forgive us?” asked his dad as Donna got up.

“Because he’s Jensen. He’s not an angry man. Angry in moments but he doesn’t hold onto anger. I wouldn’t expect anything less from him. So I know he’ll forgive you. When I’m not sure of but it won’t be forever.”

“Have you two ever fought badly?” he asked.

“We’ve had a few fights. Mostly small and when we’re both tired or hungry. We had a big one a few weeks ago when he got home but we talked about why it happened and how to make sure it doesn’t again,” you said. Donna carried over a kettle and poured more hot chocolate in your mug. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Don't ask about fights Alan. It’s not our business. We should let them tell us what they want,” she said as she walked back to the kitchen.

“They probably should have had a big fight at least once to know if they can work through those things and it sounds like they have,” he said when he turned to you. “I know you’re probably love struck but marriage? That’s a lifetime of putting in the work.”

“Alan if I didn’t care about putting in the work I wouldn’t be down here right now. I know I don’t know everything I’m signing up for and no one really does but I know him and the kids and that’s worth the parts I have to work at.”

“You sound older than you look.”

“Age doesn’t always equal life experience,” you said.

“I suppose not,” he said. He stood and took a deep breath. “I do apologize for thinking the worst of you and not giving you a fair chance upfront.”

“Thank you,” you said. “I’m going to bring this up and check on him.”

“Can I ask one last thing?” asked his dad. You nodded and he looked over to Donna who gave him a short nod. “Josh said you really love him.”

“I do.”

“Do you think he loves you the same way?”

“I know he does,” you said.

“How are you so sure?”

“How are you so sure your wife loves you?” you said. “Goodnight Alan.”

“Goodnight,” he said, his mom catching up with you in the foyer where the stairs were. You gave her a tired smile and she nodded.

“If I told you something, would you keep it a secret from Jensen?” she asked.

“No,” you said with a smile. 

“I had to try,” she said. “We’re not like this by nature. Something happened he doesn’t know about when he was recovering that put us off to you. A woman. A young woman at his physical therapy.”

“What happened?” you asked quietly. She took a seat on a step and you sat beside her. “If someone tried to take advantage of him, you should have told me and him. He thinks you guys have gone nuts, no offense.”

“You’ll find with time you’d rather have your child safe and upset at you than the other way around,” she said. 

“What happened?”

“We moved down to the house for a few months to help Jensen. He went to physical therapy. A very good place. A family friend works there and got him in and he regained a lot of strength in his leg quickly because of it. There were nurses that often helped and he worked with a few regularly and they develop a relationship and all that. It’s good for morale and healing we were told. One of these girls was about your age and our family friend overheard her gossiping to a friend on the phone during a lunch break.”

“Gossiping about…” you said. “Jensen?”

“They saw an opportunity to manipulate him. He is smart, smarter than the both of us together, but he was going through the motions that first month. She made him smile a bit. She flirted with him. Our friend told us what she’d said and we realized, he could be hurt again. Taken advantage of for what he has, what he can offer. His sudden shift in mood this year, introducing you as a fiance, made us think we’d failed to protect him this time.”

“Why not tell him that?” you asked.

“And tell him he was being manipulated back then? He’s so adamant that it can’t happen to him but we know different.”

“I think you should tell him, Donna. It makes your reaction today seem not so…” you said, her head shaking.

“Ma,” you both heard. You looked over your shoulders, Jensen sat against the wall at the top of the landing. “Mom. Jerry told me why I got a new nurse when it happened. She was nice, or was pretending to be, I don’t know. But I didn’t like her. I never got manipulated and I was never going to.”

“How long-” you said, Jensen rubbing the back of his neck. “You heard everything.”

“Yup,” he said, popping his p, his dad coming over to the bottom of the stairs and staring up. “I don’t want to talk to either of you right now. Y/N, I’d like to go to bed, please.”

“Accept their apology Jensen. You can hash out the rest of this in the morning but accept that they know they were in the wrong,” you said. 

“Why should I?” he asked, cocking his head.

“We both got hurt out of their love for you. They are not monsters and I know the difference,” you said. “You know too.”

“Will you two ever look at me the same again,” said Jensen, staring at the landing. 

“Honey it was a fight. It’ll be alright,” said his mom, his head shaking.

“Ever since I woke up in the hospital, you two look at me like I’m a kid. Like I’m weak and defenseless. But I’m not. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been and this whole day could have been avoided if you treated me like your adult son, not the kid who fell off his bike and cries over a cut. I needed you two to take over, I did, I honestly did after the accident. I couldn’t take care of myself let alone the kids. But you haven’t stopped thinking I can take care of me again. I can. I do. I know I’m your kid but let me be an adult again. Trust me. Please.”

“Come here,” you said, holding out your hand. He slid down the steps and you stood up and aside, letting him get a hug from his mom and then dad. 

“We’re sorry,” said his dad.

“I know,” said Jensen quietly. “Never do something like that again. Ever.”

“We won’t,” he said. You leaned against the wall and sipped on the hot chocolate, Jensen’s nose twitching.

“That’s my cocoa,” he said, turning his head up at you.

“I just Jerry Springer’ed ya’ll. I get the cocoa. Get your own,” you said. He smiled and you gave it right back, his parents pulling off and bringing him to his feet. 

“Come here,” said his dad as his mom dragged him off towards the kitchen with the promise of hot chocolate. You stepped down until you were about his height and took a drink, licking your lips when you finished. “How do you just let that go? You were so angry before.”

“I’ve been to therapy. I have good diffusing skills,” you said. 

“Is that a joke?”

“Not really,” you said with a smile. “You made a mistake because you love him. I’m gonna make mistakes because I love him. So when I screw up, now you owe me one, deal?”

“I know it’s getting late but would you be willing to stay up a while longer, maybe find out that favorite color?” he asked. You smiled and nodded, stepping down.

“Depends on the day,” said Jensen, stepping out with a mug of his own.

“He’s right,” you said. “You okay to stay up a bit?”

He nodded and walked back to the family room, taking your hand. 

“Better?” you whispered to him.

“Yeah. Not all the way but definitely better honey.”

It was warm when you woke up the next morning. You peeled open an eye and caught Jensen laying awake, staring at his ceiling. You kicked off the blankets and he reached an arm out, pulling you to lay on his chest.

“It’s hot in here,” you mumbled, eyes shutting again.

“There’s a box covering the vent,” he said, dancing his fingers lazily over your bare arm. “It’s almost noon.”

“Seriously?” you said into his chest, nuzzling against his soft skin.

“Yeah. Sounds like they’re out back with the kids,” he said. You nodded and felt him move his fingers all over you, soft and light, absentmindedly tracing patterns every so often.

“Still upset?” you asked, his head nodding. “They’re human. They fuck up.”

“Are you angry?”

“I was. Not anymore. I kinda like ‘em actually.”

“Why would you give them a second chance?” he asked. 

“When I got adopted I didn’t like, instantly love my mom. I was scared of her at first. I don’t know, I get that you can not like someone at first and then love them unconditionally, you know? It’s weird but your opinions can change once you get to know someone.”

“I don’t do a very good job of protecting you from things,” he said, tilting his head, moving a few hairs behind your ear. You looked up at him, his fingers playing in your hair behind you. 

“Honey you went off on your parents last night. I bet you’ve never done that to them. You were trying to protect me and you did. No one has ever protected me the way you do,” you said. “Today is a new day and I’d like to get to know my new family some more.”

“Okay,” he said softly. “I’ll follow your lead.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 13 here!

[kohanayaki]

.:Time and Time Again:. (Marauders Era x Reader) Ch 5

Harry confronts you with a familiar piece of suspiciously folded parchment, and you tell him the story of how you helped create it (mostly told through flashbacks taking place in the Marauders era).

LINKS:   CH 1   CH 2    CH 3   CH 4   CH 5   CH 6   CH 7   CH 8

___________________________________________________________

Ch 5 .:Narrow Spaces and New Alliances:. 

Your eyes drifted open slowly, the bright streams of sunlight coming in through your window strangely unbecoming of 12 Grimmauld Place. It took you a moment to get your bearings as you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and remembered where you were. As you sat there, looking around Sirius' guest bedroom, last night's events all seemed to flood back to you at once. You groaned into the comforter, feeling your face burn as you recalled blatantly staring at his lips just minutes after crying into his shirt for at least half an hour.

Come on, get it together, you thought to yourself, you're here because Dumbledore summoned you, stay on task.

However, as soon as that memory left your head another replaced it, this one weighing heavier on your chest. You found yourself thinking back to your encounter with Severus. Well, as much as you could call it an 'encounter.' Even when you couldn't see him, you could feel him when you reached out to him with your mind. Severus was good at blocking legillemency— too good, in fact, because you would know the familiar force of his mental shield anywhere. You'd never felt it as powerful coming from anyone else. You almost laughed at the irony of it; the very thing he was trying to use to keep hidden was exactly what had given him away. That, and the smell of him, which took you back to the moment you'd first smelled that damn amortentia potion. . .

You tried to shake off the thought as you properly got out of bed and changed into some casual clothes. The next Order meeting wasn't until tomorrow afternoon, so you had the day mostly to yourself, but you knew the next time you were all in a room together you would have to address some things privately if you had any hope of working together efficiently. You gently padded down the wooden stairs, the door to Sirius' room still closed. He never was an early riser.

As you reached the kitchen you began to put a pot of coffee on when you heard someone approach the room, stalling in the kitchen entrance. You turned around to see Harry in the doorway.

“Morning,” you grinned, turning back to the counter and using your wand to bring some water to a boil, “Coffee? Tea?”

“Oh,” Harry said, a bit embarrassed you'd caught him in mid-thought, “no, I'm okay.”

“What's on your mind?” you asked.

“Um, I was wondering if you could tell me, I mean, if you have the time. . .” he trailed off, reaching for his back pocket, “well, the thing is, a few years ago I found—”

“Kreacher heard sounds coming from the kitchen and did not expect (Y/n)'s return,” Harry jumped at the house elf's sudden arrival, but you seemed unphased.  

“Though master's half mudblood godson remains here,” the elf muttered to himself, “How many more days must it be?”

“Hello, Kreacher,” you greeted him, “nothing nasty about Harry, now, alright? Don't forget he's my godson too.”

“Of course,” Kreacher said, thickly sarcastic but with respect for you in his tone nonetheless. His permanent frown seemed to deepen, however, when he saw you next to the coffee maker. “(Y/n) of house (L/n) should not have to be using the kitchen. Mistress Black would have wept to see a pureblood use muggle equipment. If (Y/n) requires refreshment Kreacher will have it ready.”

“There's no need for that,” you said, “Besides, it's done already, see? You can go on now.”

Kreacher squinted at the cup you poured for yourself. “Always peculiar,” he grumbled, stalking away at your request and muttering to himself all the while.

“He's oddly. . . nice to you,” Harry said, green eyes quizzical behind his round-framed glasses.

“He is,” you chuckled.

“But, well, you're—”

“A blood traitor?” you gave him an easy smile when you saw his expression, easing his fears that he'd actually offended you. “I know,” you said, “he's been through a lot, it's complicated. Trust me, he wasn't always like this to me. It takes time. And it doesn't hurt to be nice to him either.”

Harry decided against bringing up that the nicest person that he knew to the house elf was Hermione, who Kreacher regularly called a 'mudblood wench,' but decided to focus on the 'taking time' part of your statement, wondering  just how long this kind of progress took with the spiteful elf. Besides, you seemed to have some sort of history with him.

“Anyways, what was it you were saying?” you asked Harry.

“Oh, right,” he said, reaching back around him, “um, my friends Fred and George, you've met them?”

“Molly and Arthur's twins, of course,” you smiled, “little imps, they are. Those two could give your father and Sirius a run for their money.”

“Right!” Harry said, “well, that's sort of the point. They're the ones who gave me this.”

As you turned around to face him you stalled mid-stir, nearly dropping your mug as you did. Even as a piece of blank parchment you knew what it was, the distinctive accordion folds that met in the center giving it away.

“How in the world. . .” you trailed off as Harry handed it to you, “but Filch—”

“Didn't do a very good job of hiding it, apparently,” Harry finished, “I thought you might want to do the honors?”

You nodded wordlessly, a pang of unexpected emotion hitting you as you pressed your wand to the map's center.

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”

The faded, brown ink showed itself as its protection charm was washed away, revealing the nostalgia-inducing inscription scrawled in your respective handwritings:

Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs, and Fangs are proud to present: The Marauders Map

“Do Remus and Sirius know you have this?” you asked Harry, who nodded.

“Professor Lupin gave it back to me third year before he left Hogwarts,” he said, “but he never told me anything about it after that.” he seemed deep in thought for a moment before looking up at you. “If everyone else is who I think it is, you're Fangs, right?”

It was your turn to nod now.

“I always wondered, how did you do it?” Harry said, hardly containing his curiosity, and you couldn't help but think how much he looked like James in that moment. “How does it work? What sort of magic did you use? All the secret passageways, how did you find them?”

“Alright, slow down,” you laughed lightly, giving in, “I suppose there's no harm in telling you.”

Harry brightened at that, bounding into the living room and taking a seat on the couch as if to say 'we've got all day,' which you did. It warmed your heart to see him so excited, this was one of the only ways he could get to know his parents— through the stories that remained from the people who loved them. If you could help the picture of his family in his mind become a bit clearer, you would tell him any story he wanted to know. He deserved that much after everything he'd been through.

You took a seat opposite him, still nursing your cup of coffee.

“Well,” you said, “it's a long story, starting with how bad those lot were at keeping secrets. . .”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   1974   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Run!” James half shouted half laughed as Filch hobbled after the four of them. Sirius nearly bit his tongue trying to keep in his laughter as the Caretaker slung insults and promises of punishment their way, cat ears and a tail freshly sprouted from his body.

“I can't believe we actually did that,” Sirius cackled, keeping easy pace with James.

“I can't believe you dragged me into this,” Remus panted, his current body not lending itself well to physical activity. For once he actually wished he was a werewolf right about now.

“I don't know if I can keep up,” Peter wheezed, falling behind.

“Oh come on,” James said, grabbing his sleeve and helping him run, “we can out run a gummy-legged old prat like him.”

“I don't know, he's faster than he looks,” Remus pointed out as Filch rounded the corner behind them.

“Damn,” James cursed under his breath, “we'll lose him if we can make it to the one-eyed-witch passageway.”

“We'll never activate it in time,” Remus countered.

“The hallway behind the third floor tapestry?” Peter suggested.

“No, Filch knows about that one now,” Sirius said.

“Why the hell didn't you bring your cloak?” Remus huffed.

“Well getting caught wasn't supposed to be part of the plan, but someone had to let out a laugh before we could get out!”

“Just save your air and sprint!” Sirius hissed.

The extended run time was starting to catch up to all of them now, and when they'd made a wrong turn to a blocked off corridor they thought they were done for.

“Hey, morons, over here!”

Four heads snapped towards the sound of your whisper, but you were nowhere to be found. Suddenly, one of the light pillars began to shift, revealing a large crack in the wall just big enough for them to fit sideways.

No questions were asked with no time to waste, and the four boys clamored after one another so they could fit inside. Your magic moved the pillar back in place just in time, and you watched from your hiding spot as Filch reached the walled-off passage in surprise, grumbling as he looked around for the culprits behind you. You had to stifle a snicker as his cat ears lowered; was that growling coming from the back of this throat or did you imagine that? Eventually he stumbled off in frustration and you sighed.

“Alright, the coast is clear,” you said.

“Why did you help us?” James rose a brow, that signature shit-eating grin back on his face like it never left, “you haven't fallen in love with me since our truce, have you?”

“Dream on, Potter,” you rolled your eyes, pushing him out of the crevice and smirking as he tumbled to the floor.

“It seems like I'm always saving you nowadays,” you said, stepping out of the wall yourself with the rest of the boys following.

Remus was thoroughly confused, looking pointedly between you and Sirius. He knew you and James were pretty much friends now, but he also noticed that the hostile air that always seemed to be present with you and the elder Black had diminished. He'd even seen you two talking in the halls lately. Sirius gave him a look; he would explain what happened in the forest with Lucius to Remus later. Mostly he didn't want to admit that Remus was right about you not being so bad if he gave you a chance; you had actually been getting on pretty well since that night.

“You do realize it's no fun winning the house cup when you four practically make Gryffindor ineligible every year with all the shit you get up to, right?” you chuckled, “some competition would be nice for a change.”

“We'll see if you're singing the same tune when Quidditch season rolls around,” James said smugly.

“You're right,” you said, squaring up against him, “guess that's a new competition we've got going for us.”

It had recently been announced that you and James had both been selected to play Seeker for your respective houses next year. It was an arrangement that had the whole school talking, your rivalry turned (mostly) friendship now infamous, even if it was a recent occurrence.

“Hold on, how did you know that was there?” Peter asked you, pointing to the moving column, “even we didn't know about it.”

“Oh?” you crossed your arms, “and are you four supposedly some kind of all-knowing secret masters? Because clearly there's things you don't know about yet.”

Sirius slapped a hand over Peter's mouth before he could retaliate and give away what they've been working on.

“Yes, well, apparently,” he said, ignoring Peter's muffled protests.

You looked at them curiously, all four boys looking suspiciously nervous.

The next day at breakfast, James had brought up the idea of 'hiring' you to help them finish the map.

“I'm telling you, I think we can really make progress with their help,” he pitched, “they clearly know what they're talking about, and we know they can pull a hell of a prank from all the times they've gotten me.”

“How do we know they won't tell anyone?” Peter countered, “I don't know what's up with you, but you're trusting them too fast, James.”

“They're not the type that would tell,” Remus admitted.

“Oh, not you too!” Peter whined.

“I'm just saying, they'll likely appreciate what we've gathered so far and have a fair bit to add,” Lupin insisted, “it could be worth a try if you really want to finish it before we graduate—”

“Finish what?”

The four boys jolted upright, turning to see you and Lily.

“Are you guys okay?” Lily asked, concern written across her features.

“Of course!”

“Never better!”

“Why wouldn't we be?”

Remus just groaned at his friends' panicked answers. This was hopeless.

You and Lily shared a knowing look off the the side.

“Alright, whatever you say. . .”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry laughed heartily,

“Wow, I mean, I know you said they were bad, but that bad?”

“For being expert pranksters who hardly ever managed to get caught, they were remarkably terrible at hiding things,” you said, chuckling along with him, “It didn't take us long to figure out they were up to something, although they seemed to think they were brilliant at covering it up, Remus had to burst their bubble eventually.”

Harry shook his head, smiling fondly and imagining all the scenes in his head as you continued your tale.

“So that was when they were first starting to put the map together,” you continued, “but that wasn't even the biggest secret they were hiding. Of course, I wouldn't find out about that for another year, but we'll get to that part of the story later. . .”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   1975   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This tastes awful,” Sirius complained, trying to ignore the plant prodding the under-side of his tongue.

“Well if you were expecting treacle toffee I'm sorry to disappoint,” James rolled his eyes, equally nauseated by the bitter tinge of the Mandrake leaf in his mouth.

“There's no way someone can do this for an entire month,” Peter said, “How do you brush your teeth? What if you accidentally swallow it when you're eating?”

“You three have fun with that,” Remus chuckled, flipping through an old library book and his mouth gratefully leafless.

“How about some gratitude, Moony?” James said, “We're doing this for you.”

“Please, you just want to see if you can turn into a dragon or something,” Lupin chortled, “and you don't actually have to go through with all this. Who knows if this animagus stuff will actually work.”

“Well, a dragon would suit me,” James mused, “but of course we're going to see this through, mate. You know we'd do anything for you.”

Remus smiled to himself, not responding and not needing to. He knew.

“Hey guys,” you grinned, walking up to the Gryffindor table.

Peter gulped suddenly in surprise as you came up behind him, and his eyes widened in horror.

“Shit!” he coughed out, “I-I swallowed it!”

“Your. . . food?” you questioned, glancing over at the boys who all had that same, vaguely panicked look about them.

“Okay, it was funny at first, but you guys have been acting weird since last year and now it's worrying,” you admitted.

The four looked between themselves and came to a sort of silent conclusion. Maybe in this scenario it was better to tell one secret to keep the other. And so, later that night, they told you to meet them after lights out so they could tell you what was really going on. You snuck out of your dorm room and made your way through the secret tunnel to the Gryffindor common room, a route you'd taken plenty of times to mess with James.

You pushed a loose panel of wood open, coming into the warmly lit space through one of the cabinets. You pushed an armchair that was half blocking your path out of the way as you crawled through the space.

“Blimey!” Sirius jumped, “give us a heads up, would you?”

“Sush,” Remus scolded him, “you really don't understand the concept of an inside voice, do you?”

“Alright, well I'm here,” you said, brushing off your robes, “now what's this big secret? This better not be a trick because I've been working on a new hex.”

“Nothing like that,” James assured you, “we've been working on something we think you might be interested in, if you're willing to contribute.”

He stepped to the side so you could see the floor where they'd been huddled around and your eyes widened.

“Merlin,” you said. The red and gold carpet was covered in at least forty different pieces of parchment. Pages upon pages overlapped with each other, each messily detailing a different part and level of the castle in scribbles of smudged ink. “This is. . .”

“The entirety of the Hogwarts castle and surrounding land,” Sirius said proudly, “complete with secret passageways.”

“This is our lives' work, (Y/n),” James said, “be impressed!”

“What impresses me most is how none of you have any sense of scale,” you said, sifting through the papers, “you should really condense this. Kind of hard to make any use of a map if you have to flip to page thirty-three to find the kitchens.”

“Point taken,” Remus said, “it could do with some reorganization.”

“And probably a bigger piece of paper,” you mentioned.

“Right, that. . .”

“That's not all there is to it, though,” Peter said, “Sirius?”

The curly haired boy stepped forward, pressing his wand to the center of the floor.

“Revelare Popularis,”

You watched in wonder as hundreds of names suddenly appeared across the pieces of paper, all students and faculty you recognized. They were scrawled in Sirius' handwriting, as if he'd written them himself.

“This spell shows where everyone in any location on this map is at this very moment,” he said, “It's not exact, and we've been working on variations.”

“So you can plan ahead without getting caught,” you mused, “how'd you learn something as advanced as this, Black?”

“I get around,” Sirius shrugged, unabashedly showing off. Peter rolled his eyes.

“So, the only drawback, of course, is that the spell doesn't work in real time,” Remus said, “so by the time you get where you need to go. . .”

“People will have moved,” James finished, “we're willing to share this little trove of knowledge with you if you're willing to give up all the secret rooms, passages, and hiding places you know.”

“And we thought you may have a solution to our timing problem,” Remus said, “I could tell from our study sessions you quite enjoy learning ahead of your year.”

Your eyes scanned the pages, and you were admittedly impressed. There was ton of stuff on here you had no idea about, but you knew a fair amount was missing as well. It seemed like a fair trade.

“I'm in,” you said.

“What?” Peter blinked, “it was that easy?”

“This is a useful tool you've got,” you said, “I think we can all benefit from it being improved. And now that you mention it, I actually do think I've read about a similar spell to that paper charm. It was in some Gaelic tome in the restricted section on ancient magic. I'm not even sure it used a wand. It was called the Homunculus charm. From what I read it sounded like it acted as a live feed for people in any given location, clan leaders used it to plan ambushes and keep track of citizens. If we could link it to the entire castle. . .”

“We'd be able to see where everyone is—”

“And what they're doing—”

“—At every hour of every day!”

“True, albeit a bit stalkerish,” you quipped, “you let me in on this if I add in what I know, and you got yourself a deal.”

James put out his hand, and as tempted as you were to turn it green or make all the bones in it disappear, you reached out and shook it.

“I do believe this puts us in a formal alliance, Potter,” you said cheekily.

“I believe so,” James smirked.

“Terrifying,” Remus chuckled, “This school won't even know what hit it.”

“Well, what are we waiting for?” James said with a cheshire grin, “let's steal ourselves a book, shall we?”

Read chapter 6 here!

Taglist:  @sleep-i-ness, @blackpinkdolan, @parker-natasha, @ornella0910 @undertaker1827 @thatwierdo-koemi @nxstalgicnxbxdy @calaryssia @aleksanderwh0r3 @mialupin1

[soulwillower]

stealing the show • bill denbrough

(bill denbrough x reader smut)

requested:  yeah! can bill get jealous because like a guy is flirting with the reader but he tries to act non-chalant about it but like she knows so she just freaking teases him about if by flirting right back until he snaps    +    baseball!bill smut?? girlfriend!reader goes to see bills baseball game and maybe one of his teammates flirt w/her and he gets all jealous and possessive?? and they do it in his car and she discovers his praise kink?

warnings: swearing, smut, unprotected sex, praise kink, jealous bill, baseball bill, car sex, unedited!

thank u @nate-isnt-great for requesting AND helping me w it ily 

[losers + reader are in college, 20+.]

3k words

♡

it's hot out.

the blistering sun seems to boil the air down near the pitch as you sit on the bleachers, leaning forward slightly as you try not to let the scorching metal burn the bare skin of your thighs. the weather was fine enough that you were able to slip on a little sundress; any other article of clothing would have just been too much to wear in the heat. 

but, honestly, you'd still come down to the university ball fields in rain or shine as long as you got to see bill. 

he's out there right now, standing in the dirt; tall and smirking, whispering something to the third baseman as another strike is called by the umpire. the game is a blowout, there's no doubt that your team will win with a lead of 12-7 in the last inning, so you're happy as you sip on your lemonade and watch your boyfriend finish out the inning at shortstop. 

it's only ten more minutes until the teams are shaking hands, bill and his teammates jumping on each other and messing around, bringing a smile to your lips as you finally stand and relieve yourself of the burn of the hot bleachers. 

as you usually do, you're leaning against the chain link fence next to the dugout for bill to come out before he meets with the other team captain and the coach to do a quick recap before leaving for the day. 

he's sweaty and laughing as you traipse up to him, hands falling on his chest as you press a kiss sweetly to his lips. "y/n, thanks for coming." he whispers into your hair as you wrap your arms around his neck. he's still holding his bat bag in one arm so you pull back, shrugging, "you know i'd never miss it for the world." 

he beams at that, cheeks warm, eyes squinting in the sun. “you look beautiful. you’re stealing the show, as usual.” he says with a smile. it makes you beam, butterflies fluttering in your chest. 

“you’re joking, bill!” you say, swatting his chest as he pulls you into his side. “you’re the star of this team, you know it.” 

shrugging he gestures out to the expanse of left field, "d'you see that hit i had? it w-was almost over." he grimaces, shaking his head in disappointment. you nearly laugh, fingers toying with the hair on the nape of his neck as you admire his features. "bill, it was a triple, and an rbi. you're ridiculous." 

he sighs, "i just want to impress my baby." he teases, laughing slightly. you laugh too, kissing him again, this time his hand falling low on your back, fingers grazing the top of your ass. 

you pull back when the wolf whistles are interrupted by the head coach calling bill's last name, and you wipe your lips with a grin as he shakes his head, dropping his things and turning to return to the field. you giggle as he leaves, and you lean back against the fence as you begin to wait for him, intending on driving home to his dorm with him. 

"y/n!" calls a name from the dugout, and you crane your neck, hoping the voice calling you was bill's best friend on the team, stan. 

instead you walk over to find oliver, the right fielder, and you smile. "hey, oliver, good job today." you say, walking towards him and sipping on the drink in your hand. he shrugs, "thanks, it wasn't anything too special." he says, bashful smile on his lips. "guess our team just has a lucky charm." he says, brow raising suggestively.

 it makes you chuckle, quickly registering that the rest of the team, including stan and bill, are doing after-game maintenance, and oliver's sporting the same ice wrap that stan has on his shoulder. “you guys don’t need a lucky charm.” you counter. 

you tilt your head, "forgive me, don't pitchers and catchers usually get the ice wraps?" you ask genuinely. he laughs, shaking his head, "you're cute. yeah, you're right, that's why bill has one usually. he started pitching today and stan finished, so they both get priority but the athletic trainer gave me one, thinks i hurt my elbow tendon trying to pick the guy off at third." 

you let out a soft, "oh," before your eyes flicker to bill and stan. "makes sense. i hope your elbow is okay." 

but you're momentarily distracted, because bill's untucked his jersey and lifted the bottom of it to wipe his face, exposing his toned abdomen and smooth skin and you feel hot, hotter than before. 

you bite your lip, mind suddenly trying to recall if you had a condom in your bag today or not. you snap out of it quick as oliver hums, bringing you back to the present. 

"i'm sure it'd feel better with a little kiss." he says with a smirk. you laugh lightly, annoyed with his flirting but deciding you can use this to your advantage. looking back to bill, who's finished with his field work and is starting to make his way toward you, you hum. "i don't know, stan seems like he'd be willing to give you a kiss. for the sake of the team, of course.” you joke. 

"cute and funny. what don't you have goin' for you?" he asks, and you're sure you look as shocked as you feel. though you're shocked at the bold audacity oliver has to try and flirt with you, it must come across as being flushed or flustered by his compliment. 

"oh, please, you probably say that to all the girls who come across this dugout."  "only the hot ones. honest." oliver says with a smirk, drawing an 'x' over his heart with his bat-gloved finger. 

you roll your eyes with a grin, speaking loud enough for bill to hear, just to be a tease, "well, color me flattered. you're quite the smooth talker." 

bill's messing with his keys as he starts to zip up his bag down on the other side of the dugout. he barely bats an eye, huffing as a way to acknowledge that he heard your flirts, but he's never the one to be obviously jealous in front of people. 

"no, i'm not. you're just easy to talk to, y/n. it's nice of you to come to our games all the time. bill, maybe you should watch out, your girl is stealing your show." 

bill chuckles, looking non-chalant. "she steals the show no matter where she goes." his jaw is clenched though, and you see through his façade. your stomach coils in affection for him, and you decide to tease him a little bit. 

you smile, laying your hand lightly on oliver’s arm in a friendly way. "well, i have to come down here to check out all the hot talent." you say with a wink. bill's walking up to you by now, bat bag hanging off one shoulder, eyes narrowed. you bite your lip, looking at his face, how attractive he is...

"what, like you can't just look in the mirror?" oliver grins. you roll your eyes, "you're quite a flirt." you say gently, smile on your face. bill looks pissed as he gently wraps his arm around your shoulders. he smells like he just put on fresh deoderant and oliver looks to him. 

"sheesh, denbrough, your girl is bad.” he then turns to you, “y/n, you gotta let me take you out sometime, show you what you're missing." 

you laugh, shaking your head, "you're ridiculous." you mutter, hand sliding into bill's as he brushes past. "oliver. she's not going out with you." he says coldly. you're pulled after him, biting your lip as you follow him out of the dugout. 

"aw, c'mon, denbrough, i was just kiddin'!" he calls after you as you follow bill towards his car. "bye, y/n!" he calls, and just as the cherry on top, you turn and wave to oliver as you and bill walk away. 

you're laughing as you follow him, but bill's face shows no emotion, and you bite your lip. you hope he knows it was just fun and games - he's done the same to you before, after all. it's fun to tease each other. 

"bill," you insist as he tugs you towards his car. "-we don't need to talk about it." he says, brows drawn. you lift one of your own, "then why do i feel like i'm about to be shut out? he was just joking around. if i was uncomfortable i would have told him to fuck off." you say. 

but then you're being pressed against the side of the car, bill's chest flush against yours. "i'm not gonna shut you out." he mutters, eyes stuck on your lips before he tugs your neck toward his, pulling you into a deep, passionate kiss. he pulls back just as you thread your fingers through his hair, "-but you need to stop being such a t-tease." he adds. 

shivers run down your spine as bill's fingers find your warm skin, right below the hem of your dress before he tugs up your leg, kissing you again. breath leaves your body as you surge up against his strong kiss, his hand squeezing the back of your thigh and trailing up towards your ass. 

you tug it down lightly, pulling away. "bill, people will see." you mutter with a shy grin. he looks at you, "what, now you care?" he asks, and you flush more, biting your lip. he steps away from you and opens the door to the backseat, smirking. "after you, then." 

a slap falls to your ass as you crawl into the backseat and you smile, turning just as he moves between your legs, lips catching yours heatedly. "you're mine." he mutters against your lips, already rutting his hips against yours and making you mewl lightly. 

"i know," you say, tugging his hair. “you want to do this right now? even though we could get caught?” you say breathlessly, hands tangled in his hair. "how else is oliver going to remember that you're mine?” he says, staring at your lips. your stomach drops a bit, butterflies fluttering and making you shiver. even after dating bill for a while, he still makes you flush. 

“then let’s go, denbrough.” you say, pulling him down by the neck in desperation. he smirks into the kiss, kissing you so deeply you see stars. his hands hike up your dress around your hips, hands caressing your inner thighs. 

“you think it’d be hot if i fuck you in his car, huh?” he whispers quietly in your ear. your eyes roll back as his fingers rub tight, teasing circles over your core, a fire slowly being lit. you only whimper a bit, biting your lip. “y-yes.” you gasp then, as he slips a finger into you.

he still watches you intently, curling his finger slightly and making you whimper as you try to spit out your words. it makes you turn bright red. your throat gets dry. “p-please.” you say, cheeks feeling hot with need. the windows are starting to fog up in the car as he slowly slides the underwear down from your legs, kissing the skin as he goes. you’re breathing shakily and then he’s bringing his eyes up to you before lifting up the skirt of your dress and disappearing from your sight. 

you gasp in pleasure as you feel bill’s tongue dart out and lick a bold, flat stripe up your heat. “fuck,” you whisper, your hands moving from gripping the seat you’ve laid on to pulling up your dress, lacing your fingers through bill's auburn locks. 

but then, he presses a kiss to your clit and leans back, smirking at you as you stare at him. "wh-" 

"you weren't good enough for a reward. flirting with my teammates." he says, jaw clenching. "did you think that was cute?" 

you moan as he starts to tease your clit with his finger, agonizingly slowly. "did you?" he asks again. the car is hot, almost as hot as it is outside, and his skin is warm and just as slicked with sweat as yours. you bite your lip, moving your hips to try and feel some relief for the arousal seeping through you. 

"jus wanted you, bill. i'm sorry." you mutter, feeling flushed and desperate. he hums, shaking his head. "you're mine." he states, and you nod, suppressing a moan as one of his fingers dips into you just to pull back out. "how can i prove it to you?" you ask, lifting a brow and biting your lip, eyes falling to his hard-on. he shakes his head, though, hand falling to lay you against the seat fully. 

"no. i want to be inside of you." he mutters, kissing your lips, leaving you feeling feverish. "now." 

and then you're both fumbling, desperately palming him and undoing his belt, pulling him out of his pants, and then bill pushing you back to lay again. "you'll be good for me." he says, and it's not a question. his jaw is clenched, eyes bright with lust and hair mussed from where your fingers had found purchase not seconds ago. 

“yes, bill. please, please.” you mutter, cheeks red. you hear him chuckle and you open your eyes as he starts to push into you, his cock stretching you out.  "fuck!“ you hiss in pleasure, hands grasping his shoulder as he bottoms out.

he starts to move after only a mere second, hitting the perfect angle that makes you groan his name into his shoulder as his snaps snap against yours. your back rubs agaisnt the hot leather of the seat, your face being hit by the boiling sun through the window, but you don't care because it feels so good. he moans into your lips, catching you in a heated kiss as he thrusts into you. "bill, fuck, you feel so good.” you gasp out, whimpering as he pushes your dress up further, fingers tweaking your nipple. 

he groans,  watching as your body moves with the rocking of his hips, licking his lips. “baby.” he mutters, hands gripping your hips tightly as he pounds into you. “you’re mine.”

you nod as he hits a new angle inside you and you know you’re very close again. “yes, i’m yours, bill.” you mumble, blissed out as he rolls his hips hard against yours.

his head dips down to take one of your nipples into his mouth, tongue swiping over the bud and making you gasp as he palms the other one. he moves his hips and you roll your eyes back slightly as you shut them. “bill, i’m close.” you whimper. he chuckles, “already?” you can only nod desperately, clawing at his shoulders to stabilize yourself as he fucks you into the backseat, every movement bringing you steadily to the brink. 

you squeeze his hair lightly as you whimper, the feeling euphoric as your toes curl. his name falls from your lips every few seconds as he thrusts into you, hitting deeply, the coil in your stomach about to release. “bill, please, i’m gonna cum.” you mutter, eyes closed and chest rising and falling.

"good." he says, spitting on your clit, thumb following to rub it, making you arch your back, clenching around him tight as you near your high. 

“how’s that feel?” he mutters, and you feel like you’re on fire. “fuck- bill, so good. feels s'good.” you mutter. he hums, cheeks red as he moans, and you grin - you can tell he likes hearing how good he makes you feel. 

"could oliver make you feel like this?" he mutters, and you feel yourself flush, because he's never been so jealous in bed before. it adds to your arousal and you moan out, "no, only you, bill." 

he bites down on your neck, hands roaming your body, squeezing your ass, pinning down your shoulder as he leans back, changing the angle and making you moan even louder. 

“bill, please, it feels so good, don't stop,” you start to beg, arm coming to wrap around his neck as you shake. following your pull, he falls on top of you again, humming against your chest and you moan loudly - loud enough that if someone were passing by the car they’d certainly know - and clench around him. “c'mon, y/n," he whispers, eyes glinting with pride. “cum for me.”

you’re shaking and moaning his name as you finally hit your high. your breathing stutters as he starts to thrust slower, milking you through your orgasm, one hand on the seat near your head and other hand soothing your hair. your eyes are pressed shut as you clench through your high. “fuck, bill.” you whimper. he's kissing you. "so pretty, and all mine." he mutters against your lips. 

"i'm yours, bill," you moan into his ear, eyes screwed shut in pleasure. "you feel so good." 

and then he's cumming, too, moaning as he spills into you, both of your hearts slamming against the others, chests pressed together. he pulls you in for another kiss and you sigh into it, feeling full and fucked out. "i love you." he says against your lips, and you smile. "i love you, too." 

"i need a shower." is all bill says as he pulls out of you, a laugh escaping his lips. you giggle, sitting up, legs feeling like jelly as bill opens the door, exiting the car and then pulling you out, too - just to find oliver and their other teammate, jason, walking towards their cars a few feet away.

 you stare at them, wide-eyed, trying to smooth down your hair, and you realize that bill's still trying to re-do his belt on his uniform. they stare back and oliver clears his throat, clearly shocked and definitely aware of what you and bill had just done. you grin as bill mutters, "see you later, man." and his face has a wide smirk, the other two boys looking shocked. 

you're embarrassed, but as bill pulls you into his side and kisses your forehead with a shit-eating smirk, you decide you don't really care. "let's go take that shower, hm?" you mumble, kissing him softly before sliding into the passenger seat. 

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