#I’m emotionally devastated and very sad

[alaanz]

Yo Kiseki dear to me…

What the fuck bro…

How could you do this to me?

I feel absolutely obliterated by ep 7 and 8. I fully was on the verge of tears. I think I did cry at some points.

The acting in this show is insane. Intense props to all of the actors of this show because they are knocking it out of the water here.

I’ve not been this emotionally effected by a bl in a while so I’m happy Kiseki could do this. And I’m also in love with the easy intimacy that Kiseki shows. I love how natural they make it.

How did it go that wrong so fast. Let my boys be happy for once Jesus Christ. Zong Yi sat clinging onto Ze Rui’s body and screaming his name made me breaakkkkkk.

And the scene where Zong Yi was trying to leave to go see Ze Rui but Ai Di and Chen Yi wouldn’t let him, so he just slowly started breaking down. Fuckkkkk. That scene finished me off.

Man these episodes were insanely good and it’s gonna kill me now having to wait another 2 weeks for the next one.

P.s. also Fuck Kiseki for making me believe Yu shi gu and Hao ting would finally get a happy ending. I can’t believe they did that to us. Fuck you and fuck your bloodline >:(

[everythingseasoning]

Don’t be demanding when asking for part 2’s!!

A brief post on why and how to be considerate in comment sections!

I finally understand why people are frustrated/sad when part 2 of a fanfiction doesn’t come out. I’m a little bit emotionally invested in this one Suguru fic right now. It’s 3 parts, but only 1 part is out, and the writer has been absent for months. I’m a wee bit emotionally devastated (but I’ll get over it).

SO I GET THE MORE DEMANDING COMMENTS NOW. I understand why people say “when is part two coming out” or “it’s been a year… is part two ever coming out??” — that being said, those kinds of comments are inherently rude.

When commenting something like that, you create a sort of pressure on the writers end, because there is an undertone of a demand. When people ask “when is it coming out” and say “it’s been x amount of time” - it’s implied that only your needs are important. That *you expect a part two* from the writer. Remember folks, writers on here are people too. Try rephrase how you ask about part two:

You can say, “Hey! I loved this fic so much! (Maybe even insert feedback on WHY you like it, as that means a lot to writers <3). I was wondering if you plan on making part two anytime soon? No worries if not, I’m just curious! Love your work, will gladly be on a tag list!”

This way, you’re not making a demand— you’re asking your question while being grateful, respectful, and considerate. It’s not easy work to be a writer for everyone (for some it is, for many it’s very time consuming, etc!)

Please don’t ever direct your frustrations towards writers. We aren’t paid for this, and have our own very busy lives!

I understand it sucks when a writer says they’re going to post something, but they don’t and haven’t. But please remember, they’re people too. Go ahead and ask for clarification and offer grace! You deserve to ask for clarification! But because this is a free service and platform, no writings are owed to you. We all should be considerate to one another 💗

[gabessquishytum]

So there’s this manhwa called Match Made in Bed (no happy ending for the main couple I’m afraid but the premise is very dreamling-coded) where basically this woman is recently dumped because of how stiff she is during sex so her friends decide to hire some hosts to cheer her up. Among the hosts is this one guy who’s actually a swim instructor doing a favor for his friend but he’s actually really reserved and haughty (sound familiar?) and kind of looks down on the whole practice of escorting. Eventually the woman gets hammered and he ends up taking her to a hotel room where she entices him into sleeping with her to prove she can be a good lay and surprise surprise, their sexual compatibility is off the charts and they have sex nine times. But afterwards they don’t know how to move forward because she can’t imagine dating a host (even tho he’s not) and he can’t stand rich women who go around flaunting their money and hiring escorts (she was lying about her job as a stewardess too). But at the same time, they can’t keep their hands off each other. And so, shenanigans and misunderstandings ensue. I can totally imagine Hob and Dream in this scenario where they keep saying tonight will be the last night but then in a turn of events they keep running into each other like it’s fate, like Hob unknowingly signing up for Dream’s swim class, and who can resist a good fuck? Hob has literally never met someone who can make him cum so many times before and Dream has never had so many wet dreams. And it’s good for both of them. They’re both getting better sleep and relieving so much stress. I imagine eventually one of them will get their act together and come clean about their true job so they can finally be happy and fuck without anything holding them back.

I am now extremely obsessed with the concept of host!Dream. Or how about, Desire is actually the host, but for some reason they've persuaded Dream to fill in for them! Probably so they can have a vacation, lol. Anyway: host!Dream.

Hob is super intimidated by the gorgeous hosts that Jo organised for him, and he ends up drinking waaayy too much. He's pretty sure that the gorgeous guy with the blue eyes is actually disgusted by him (Dream is just struggling to keep smiling for hours and hours 😭) and it makes Hob feel so discouraged. When the pretty guy escorts him to the hotel room, Hob doesn't even mean to seduce him - he literally stumbled and fell into Dream’s arms. The kiss that followed just felt natural. And after that... Well. Hob usually hates drunk sex but with Dream, he feels... incredible. He doesn't even feel intoxicated. He just feels like he's floating, encased in a shroud of total pleasure.

Dream doesn't even know why he slept with the sad drunk guy, but. Even he has to admit that it was amazing. Hob might be awkward and dumb, but his body is everything Dream has ever wanted. He can hardly believe that it wasn't all just an amazing fantasy, but sure enough he wakes up with Hob the next day. And Dream IMMEDIATELY leaves. He doesn't like rich finance guys (Hob lied about his job, he's actually a teacher) and it's not like this host gig is even HIS job.

Hob wakes up alone, feeling physically amazing but emotionally devastated. Even though he's probably too jealous to handle dating a host, he can't help wishing that Dream stayed. At least for a morning blow job...

Of course the universe brings them right back together. Hob promised that he would finally learn to swim this year; Dream turns out to be his instructor. They fuck down in the shallow end of the pool after Hob learns to float (who needs to swim when you can cling onto a sexy man while he fucks you?), Dream shows up to pick his nephew up from school and runs in to Hob as he comes out from teaching a class. They don't have time to do anything but make out messily in a supply cupboard, but it's still incredible...

They still refuse to talk about their obvious perfect physical compatability. Hob still believes that Dream isn't really into him. Dream still can't pluck up the courage to actually speak to him. Every other week they end up in some kind of compromising position - Dream has memorised all the little scars on Hob’s body, and he's kissed every single one of them. Hob can't get off by himself anymore, not without Dream inside him.

The only consolation: Desire is back from vacation, soon. If anyone can get the idiots together, they can. But Desire isn't always inclined to be helpful... and they might just make everything worse!

[psalm40speakstome]

Love Next Door. Episode Eight.

I don’t fully understand why she didn’t tell him. Other then that impossible expectations has to be perfect and self reliant thing she internalized from her parents. I also think it’s possible she wanted to keep something beautiful free from the cancer narrative and that was Choi Seung Hyo .

And as someone else pointed out she hides the hard and pretends everything is okay.

But I DO understand her turning to the ex in the moment of pain and crisis.

As devastating and sad as that is for Choi Seung Hyo as chronically ill human it makes perfect sense to me.

Those moments are literally about survival. You can’t explain. You can’t function and you need the person who already knows what’s going on and how to help. There’s no other option.

Sure he could have taken her to the hospital but the explanation she would have needed to do, the things she would have revealed(because it’s a secret) and even the amount of stress Choi Seung Hyo would have felt(and very rightly to feel it too)

Would have been emotionally and mentally to exhausting.

And Bae Seok Ryu was in excruciating pain.

As much as I don’t believe for one second she’s still into her ex….He clearly knows and was there for at least some of it(and failed her fairly heavily too)

So in that moment she turned to him. It feels very significant because we know how devastating it is to Choi Seung Hyo.

And in some ways it is. Like obviously walking through fire with someone isn’t a small thing.

But it’s also just being in crisis and picking the safety of not having to do any extra work in that moment.

This show is bringing out a ton of growth and nuance for these characters and I can’t wait to see where Bae Seok Ryu goes with Choi Seung Hyo.

We KNOW he’s her safest place…I’m just so excited for her to really realize it and act accordingly.

To really truly stop hiding her pain. And not suffer alone.

I am completely and utterly brokenhearted for him though. Like seriously finding that out three years after?

I would be gutted and betrayed.

[ham1lton]

i saw a brocedes edit with that really sad audio on tiktok that’s phoebe bridgers i know the end x scott street omggggg it broke my brain the brocedes lore is so fucking insane like what do you mean they were childhood best friends and said ‘our dream is to be teammates in F1 and fight for the championship’ and that’s what destroyed their friendship? wdym niki lauda made them work out their issues at his home in ibiza by locking them in a room ? WDYM LEWIS BUYS CHRISTMAS PRESENTS FOR NICO’S DAUGHTERS STILL??? AHHHHHH!

omg me and nico apologist anon were talking about this (miss u anon) but i KNOW.

the whole lore is insaneeee to me!!!! wdym nico knew lewis gave his all by the pattern of his breathing before lewis said that himself?? as someone who has a childhood bestie, i’m actually so glad we didn’t end up like that 😭 she’s so lovely. i don’t think i could have handled it very well. nico/lewis are better than me.

WAIT…. imma link some brocedes edits here so we can all be emotionally devastated.

[pokemenlovingmen]

Random selection of Pokeguys with this old classic:

Character: “I wasn’t that drunk last night!”

“You were flirting with S/O.”

Character: “So? He’s my boyfriend.”

“You asked him if he was single.”

“And then cried when he said he wasn’t.”

… you guys know the one I’m talking about right? A big fandom meme but I can’t find the og, if there even was a non fandom-affiliated og. This is probably really convoluted for a shitpost lmao I’m sorry, this is just silly goofiness to me while I wait for requests and the guys here were just kinda picked by who I thought would be the most fun to write.

Content warnings: alcohol consumption and drunkenness

Adaman

💎 — Emotionally devastated but trying so hard not to show it

💎 — Considering he was sloppy-ass drunk enough to ask you, HIS BOYFRIEND, if you were single that’s not really something he’s doing great at

💎 — “Oh nooo that’s so… I’m sorry… oh noooo you’re just so pretty :(“

💎 — He stares vacantly off into the distance, holding back tears while you stare at him and wonder how long it’s gonna take for him to realize.

💎 — It’s kinda pathetic so you give up the joke and tell him the truth, to which he ACTUALLY bursts into tears.

💎 — “Hweuuuhhh Mighty Dialga is truly gracious and kind to have blessed me with your love I’m so luckyyyyyyyyy”

💎 — Just leans against you and sobs for a while, while you pet his hair and try to console him and insist this is real life, and that you’re sorry about the trick. Mai and Irida, who are watching the whole thing, are NOT sorry you pulled this one because it’s fucking hysterical

Melli

💙 — WAILS

💙 — Cue incoherent sobbing into your shoulder about why Mighty Dialga hates him so much that it would torment him with the ethereal beauty that you are that he’s forbidden to have

💙 — If only they existed in Hisui, you might want to grab a velvet chaise for him to lay on and sob dramatically in a very theatrical pose

💙 — When you finally give up the joke and tell him that the person you’re dating is, in fact, him, it’s like you just clicked the off switch. I mean, the tears are definitely still flowing but he shuts up instantly and stares at you like you’ve grown a second head.

💙 — Then starts fanning his face, still clearly crying while trying to look all smug and confident.

💙 — “HMMMMMPH of course I knew that, only I would be worthy of your company anyway” (still visibly crying a river)

💙 — Clings to your side the entire night and also looks like a pathetic wet rat while he does it

Red

🔥 — :(

🔥 — visible despair

🔥 — sad shinji meme

🔥 — he just kind of. sulks. pouting very dramatically.

🔥 — I mean good for you and whoever you’re seeing but he’s very drunk and to him you’re like the hottest man on earth right now??

🔥 — Eventually you put your arm around him and hit him with the “Red honey, I was talking about you. You’re the other person I’m seeing.”

🔥 — …

🔥 — :,D

🔥 — prommy????

Ingo

⚫️ — INSTANT ugly crying but not for the reason you think actually.

⚫️ — “WAUUGH PLEASE FORGIVE MY RUDENESS I DIDN’T MEAN TO IMPOSE I AM SO IGNORANT PLEASE TELL YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER I’M SORRYYYYYY”

⚫️ — I mean yeah, he’s also upset you’re apparently not single but all he can think about is how much he must have offended you and AUGH you’re so handsome and sweet and he was so clueless please don’t take it personally he doesn’t really know what’s gotten into him!!!

⚫️ — Probably the one you have to drop the joke the fastest with because you were NOT expecting this reaction at all and between all the sobbing and shouting you’re starting to worry about when the last time he actually took a breath was.

⚫️ — You end up needing to rub his back and scream your own apologies to him because you were only joking, the person you were dating is HIM!

⚫️ — At this he’s now just crying for a different reason, because he’s so lucky and you’re so handsome and he doesn’t know what he did to deserve this.

⚫️ — He calms down pretty fast after that, but never mention that incident to him again

⚫️ — He already doesn’t drink much and remembering how dramatic and off kilter he was being that night just has him actually wanting to curl up in a hole and just. Live there.

Emmet

⚪️ — “Oh! Okay then!”

⚪️ — You’re a bit surprised by his unfazed reaction for being absolutely piss drunk, but after delivering that line he immediately pivots on his heel and speedwalks the hell away.

⚪️ — You call his name at first, and when he doesn’t respond and also looks DEAD SET on leaving whatever event you guys are at, you have to run after him calling his name all the while.

⚪️ — Drunk Emmet thought process: Dear lord, I’ve made a horrible mistake. I am extremely embarrassed. I’m going to immediately vacate the area and probably never come back.

⚪️ — You practically corner him because he is so, so fixated on leaving out of sheer embarrassment when you explain you were just messing with him and the person you’re already dating? That’s him.

⚪️ — By the look on his face, he practically needs one of those little buffering wheels above his head, because he is thinking HARD about this. His entire worldview has shattered. The earth has stopped turning. His wig is gone.

⚪️ — Eventually he just… climbs into your arms and lets you take him back to where you guys were. Both extremely embarrassed for a totally different reason now while simultaneously being in complete and total awe that sober him scored someone like you. Woah.

[thealogie]

I’m venting to you because you’re being so level headed about this but honestly I’m devastated. In retrospect I’m not entirely surprised, I’d never heard any allegations but I’d always gotten vaguely immature vibes from his tumblr. But god damn. Good omens season 2 pulled me out of a two year depression. The future has felt so hopeless lately with climate change and the genocide in gaza and the US elections coming up. Everything important and real is so bleak. I know it seems trivial, but good omens season 3 was honestly the only thing I was truly looking forward to. Now I wouldn’t be surprised is Michael and David pull out and I would respect them for that. I just personally don’t know how to cope with this.

It’s totally normal and ok to be heartbroken on a personal level as long as you realize who the real victims/survivors are. It’s not bad or wrong to be attached to a piece of fiction and feel like it gave your life meaning. It meant a lot to me too! And there will be time to grieve or navigate whatever happens in the future together <3

I’m being level headed because for me personally thinking of anything other than the people affected feels very emotionally/viscerally wrong right now, but it’s ok for you to be sad for personal reasons. You’re not hurting anyone by doing that.

[justallihere]

it’s the next day and I’m still thinking about Rhiannon 😭😭😭😭 I really wasn’t expecting that. It’s not so much the death but it’s the fear she must have felt when she was captured and the pain of dying from losing Fierge. Rhiannon is such a strong, lovable, ride or die friend that seeing her so empty is what ultimately broke me. I am devastated for Violet and second squad because how do they even come back from something like this, especially when I’m sure they’re all going to blame themselves. I’m happy this happened closer to the end of the fic because I don’t think I would’ve been able to function emotionally if it happened earlier.

Xaden 😭😭😭😭 I know logically that Rhi was already gone and Violet was going to go outside the wards anyway but I can’t help that small feeling of betrayal. I’m sure Violet thought if she could get hands on Rhi, she would’ve been able to do something but to have her killed right in front of her eyes is so definitive.

On a lighter note, Liam finally clocked Dain/Sloane and I think he’s owed at least one hit on Dain. The love between Violet and Lillith will always make me sad at the lost potential in canon. Xaden and Violet saying I love you over and over is so beautiful to see and how far they have come both individually and together.

I am shattered if you couldn’t tell and I absolutely love this fic and your writing. The heartbreak I feel is a testament to the quality of the content. Can’t wait to see how it ends 🤍

I think we’re all going to be thinking about Rhiannon for a very long time 😭 her dying is one thing but the circumstances leading up to it really are a lot to process. I said it in a reply to a comment on ao3 but I ALMOST wrote it so that Violet would be the one to kill her but I changed my mind so it really could’ve been worse!!

Xaden is just doing his best 😭 Violet is Priority Number One for him and that will never change. He is for her, too, so it makes sense, but to see it in action in a moment like this where it hurts Violet in a way is just proof that he won’t compromise on keeping her safe no matter what

I hurt my own feelings with Sloane/Dain but it’s fine! Liam doesn’t care right now but he will!

Thank you so much 🩷🩷🩷

[pseudowho]

Hello once more, sorry for the inbox spam!!!

I wanted to give you an update on the 30 year old guy hitting on me (insane cause when he was my current age of 21, I was 12 years old, LIKE WHAAAT the heeeell). Context for memory: met him at an event I was volunteering at. He wasn’t in the volunteering event but stopped by to help, and stayed a while to chat. He got my social media and messaged me that evening. Very quickly off the bat he started flirting and taking EVERY chance he got to do so, ie when i said im more of a mountains than lakes person, he said, “it’s not gonna work then ;)” and a bunchhhh of other stuff i don’t remember. And when I told him that my “(possibly) my favorite person in the world is the only person I message consistently” he replied with, “Favorite? Damn, don’t know if I’ll get there, but I’ll try to be your second favorite.” And this was literally like a day into messaging. It was SO weird because I never thought somebody that much older would go for me AND he doesn’t even Know Me. (Even though two 33 year old men did try to pursue something with me when I was 19 years old). Like, 25 is the max age I’ll date being that I’m 21, and the brain stops developing at 25. I was strictly platonic and didn’t even flirt back/reply to those weird messages.

So the update: I think it was after your advice that I made it clear to him that I am 1. Not interested in a relationship with anyone, 2. I only feel safe around women because of past experiences with men. // So here’s where things get a bit stickier. He keeps saying that his number one value is empathy and that he learned he can trust his morals and values, and that he learned to not doubt himself. He keeps saying he wants to get close with me and see where “this connection goes” (in my head I’m thinking, what connection?). At this point, I told him my 3rd boundary: That I Am Not even Guaranteeing Friendship. I don’t trust guys, I have a very finicky social battery, and I told him that I have been left much more jaded than my naive, optimistic, overly caring 19 year old self after a string of incidents with straight guys that left me feeling confused and used (was used emotionally and also they wanted to use me physically, but I didn’t let the latter happen. These events are not even including the 33 year old guys incidents). So this 30 year old, I’ve been on and off messaging him to give him a CHANCE to be a FRIEND. Because he’s desperate and honestly I love making close friends IF they’re good people. But I noticed that whenever I mention (not trauma dump, mention), more sensitive things such as the consistent, TW, abuse and neglect I’ve faced for years, he goes radio silent for a day or few days. The only time he DOESN’T reply quickly is when it’s about sad stuff— the only other time I said anything sad was when I told him I was grieving my late kitten, and I Literally gave the gruesome, truly awful details of my 1 month old kitten passing due to leukemia (it was devastating. She was precious, amazing, resilient, kind, and wonderfully adaptive— ie her siblings would cry during socializing and she would WALK UP TO THEM AND LAY HER HEAD ON THEM. She would also go to Me instead of her Mama cat for food, as she was too weak to compete with her siblings (but she gave her BEST awesome efforts.) Despite her resilience and intelligence, she was too young and her immune system didn’t work. It’s devastating, and I’ve been processing it in healthy ways as months go on and on. She was wonderful, demonstrated kindness and she was a fighter, and she deserved a long life. Anyway, to this he responded with “😮” …LIKE. I WAS SO confused and a bit irritated at that reaction. He DID later say a few short words of sympathy but wtf was the “😮😮”…So a week or so later I thought about my lingering irritation, and now I’m MAD. He expects me to be empathetic towards him, and I am, but whenever I even BRIEFLY mention struggles beyond himself he won’t give it the proper care it deserves. Ie one time I mentioned women’s struggles with gross men and then I also talked a bit about men’s struggles being hard too, and he said, “I’m glad you acknowledge men’s struggles!” and it’s like yes I did but… the first and main point of this particular convo was women??? Are you so self absorbed and stuck in your head??? At least acknowledge women too? He preaches about empathy but doesn’t live up to it, or at the very least, doesn’t realize his own need to grow. So, I’m quite tired and irritated. All these guys have the same thing in common, and it’s that they see me as some sort of saint for them to be loved and validated by. They seek me to use me for their own benefit, but they do not CARE about ME, AND they think of themselves as top shit. I know they need love. I sympathize with them. Trust me. But they don’t see me for me, nor do they treat me well. I am no saint, though I want to be a good person, the best person I can be. They idealize me because I’m a friendly and curious and caring person, but they don’t treat me as a person.

I’m teetering on the edge of cutting him off. But I know he went through a breakup 2-3 months ago, and I personally believe he’s acting this desperately and strongly because he’s lonely. I sympathize with him and I wonder if I judge him too harshly… But the red flags are raised. A 30 year old going for a 21 year old??? Am I crazy to think that that’s weird as fuck?? I feel bad for him. I’m irritated. I’m tired and I need to put myself first, as I’ve already got a hard life to deal with before I can be stable and give more of me. At least, this is the thought process I currently have. Do you think so too? Did I miss anything or see something inaccurately— what do you think?

He’s the fourth guy who is significantly older than me (30+) to try and get in a relationship with me. It keeps happening. I don’t even go out much. I don’t even interact with guys much. It’s insane. Everytime I go out and interact with people and the world (like coworkers and meeting people when I volunteer), this happens. They all told me they love my care/empathy (which is, of course, a work in progress). I think my natural curiosity made them think i was interested in them, even though i never flirted with any of them or even thought about a romantic or sexual relationship with any of them!! I even told some of them from the start that I only like women!

Is this normal, do most guys do this?

Tough constructive criticism towards me always welcome.

And you don’t have to answer!! Ty for reading :)

- m <3

That's me, pushing you over the edge you were teetering on, r.e. your decision to cut him off.

There's nil else that needs to be said. You have suggested to him in many ways, without actually saying the words blatantly, that you are not interested. By continuing to pursue you despite your discomfort, going so far as to think this is a matter of simply convincing you, shows that he's not empathetic, and is in fact, absolutely in this for himself.

What women aged 30+ tend to find (anecdotally, on average, from discussions with my cohort) is that men who routinely target younger women for relationships/sex, do so for a number of reasons, none of them good, but some of them being: recognition of reduced confidence and therefore vulnerability in younger women, average lower standards of younger women due to life experience (not a crime at all!), and the mens' underdeveloped emotional maturity, and age fetishization.

It's all about Power.

"You're so mature for your age!" Yeah yeah-- 'for your age', but not for his age. Women his age are simply more likely to not tolerate his bullshit, and he's probably underdeveloped emotionally with bad habits that make him a bad partner.

If you're being routinely targeted by these men, which is, I must absolutely clarify, NOT YOUR FAULT, try to have a little self reflection; is there something about you aside from simply your age, that makes you seem more vulnerable to these men? Because your chances of ending up in a badly balanced age gap relationship are higher the more associated vulnerabilities you have.

My only criticism of you? Take this opportunity to strengthen your spine. Lash out hard, and if you are absolutely not interested in these men, make it brutally, savagely, immediately clear. Don't be wishy-washy. Give them absolutely zero soft answers because unfortunately with men like these, soft answers make them think they have a chance.

Stop being kind to people who try to manipulate you.

It's sad that being nasty is the only way, and they'll try to make you look like the bad guy ('oh I was just being friendly, you're safe around me'), but you're not, and you should give them the middle finger they deserve.

I guarantee that they will age but will continue to target women and girls your age. Our current 'daddy' and hyperfetishisation of age (especially for young women) culture, sadly, gives them support to do this.

That is, again, not your fault; doesn't it look so clear now that they don't have your best interest at heart?

While not all age gap relationships have a power imbalance, a great, great many do. Consistent targeting by fully adult men should be a massive red flag.

Again, in the job I'm in, I witness and examine a great great number of heterosexual relationships in intimate detail, and I assure you, big age gap relationships are amongst the most likely to leave the women (because it is almost invariably the woman being the younger one) on a significant back foot.

Brief reminder that women aged 30+ aren't 'jealous' that lots of men their age target barely adult women; we see them as the manipulators they are, and we want to protect you.

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[phregnancy]

nbd just putting some feelings into words

in a very weird spot emotionally. it’s been a very heavy few days and so so much of it is good and was needed and i saw a friend for the first time in months and was really the first non-work social interaction i’ve had here but now that i’m alone again i’m realizing that what i do is really unhealthy. and i know it’s unhealthy to isolate myself so much i don’t pretend like it’s healthy or good for me but the devastation i feel right now knowing that i could fall into that again is very hard. i feel like i’m grieving my own life and i shouldn’t be because i’ve done this to myself but even then i shouldn’t be so sad i should be somewhat reactionary and take steps to improve upon it. i know i’ll get better and i will start to be a person and a part of society again and i’ll work at it but intellectualizing and knowing logically that things will be getting better from here doesn’t stop me from feeling immense sadness at the fact that i am alone again. and i’m not afraid of being alone i love being alone but that love of being alone is what allows me to not go outside and not talk to people and to self isolate because when i am alone i don’t have to carry so much of the weight that comes with interpersonal relationships and i can just focus on existing. but this isn’t existence, i’m drifting and letting life happen to me instead of being proactive. anyway. i know things will get better and i will feel better but i guess i have to let these feelings happen and sit with them for a minute.

[jedimemery]

I want to talk about this scene for a minute.

Because while I am strongly of the opinion that the Dad Batch™️ are great parental figures and they show Omega so much love, they still have a lot to learn about raising a child.

For one thing, they didn’t even think to tell Omega beforehand that Echo was leaving. While the rest of them are developmentally mature enough to understand that Echo has to do what he believes is right and are capable of taking that in stride, springing the news that Echo wouldn’t be going with them was a shock to Omega’s system. She’s not mentally or emotionally mature enough to be able to just take that information and roll with it just yet, so her heart is broken. She’s a kid who has a deep emotional attachment to her family, so taking one member out of the equation, albeit temporarily, is devastating to her. But the boys don’t quite understand that.

With that, Echo isn’t prepared to handle Omega’s reaction. Even though he tells her that he’ll be back, it’s not as much of a comfort to her as he probably thought it would be. And when she launches herself into his arms, he’s a bit shocked at first. I’m glad he hugged her back because goodness knows she needed it, but the way he isn’t prepared for her emotional reaction is really sad. He doesn’t understand that when she says, “We need you too,” she’s really saying, “I need you, Echo. You mean everything to me, just like the others do. I don’t know what I’ll do if you leave me.” It’s a really traumatic thing for her to have to go through that.

On top of all of this, at her age and given what she’s already been through, Omega is very likely to have deeply ingrained abandonment issues that result from this, unless the boys step up and give her the comfort and support she needs. And yes, I know they give her love and affection, but I feel like the soldier part of them is still holding them back from being completely open and vulnerable with her. It will take them some effort and time for them to develop that stronger emotional intelligence.

With Omega’s family circle suddenly becoming this unstable, I am a bit worried about what’s going to happen to her psychologically. We can only hope that the Batch reinforces their love for her and their commitment to give the child what she needs.

[theheirofthesharingan]

I have been reading your fic, The Everlasting Love, and I must say that it’s one of my favorite fics ever. Everything is just really well done :)).

I was just wondering how Itachi felt after he woke up and realized that he was alive. Did he want to die since the beginning or was he actually considering living until Sasuke had the sleep paralysis thing?

Why does Itachi hate medicines? Is it because he thinks he deserves to suffer or is it just a hc?

Also, in the anime/manga, do you think that Kishimoto should’ve added more realistic trauma responses (especially for Sasuke.) ? I think he did it better than many other animes, but I still think he should’ve added more. (And I do think Sasuke is mostly justified for his actions, I’m not sure why the narrator made him out to be a person who needed ‘fixing’)

I believe that Itachi was planned out from the start, now that I have read some of your posts. I was skeptical until the data book part (where he had only one s-rank mission), and now I feel really stupid for thinking otherwise. And I just realized that Itachi always looked sort of sad in the manga, not like a psychopathic cold-blooded killer.

Last question: how did you feel about Itachi before the twist (I’m sorry if this was asked already)?

Okay, all these questions are really random (sorry about that) but I was just really curious. Have a good day :).

I have been reading your fic, The Everlasting Love, and I must say that it’s one of my favorite fics ever. Everything is just really well done :)).

Thank you so much. :)

I was just wondering how Itachi felt after he woke up and realized that he was alive. Did he want to die since the beginning or was he actually considering living until Sasuke had the sleep paralysis thing?

This is a very good question, because on more than one occasions I've wanted to explore Itachi's thought process in the fic but the nature of the story prevents me from doing it, because it's going in the flashback and Sasuke only tells us as much as he knows and understands.

Itachi was devastated and horrified because he thought with him his sins and evil would be gone too, and Sasuke would be free from him. He wouldn't ever have to hurt his brother again and he'd planted Amaterasu in Sasuke to keep Madara away, and in case that failed, Naruto would keep Sasuke safe. But of course being alive horrified him, because how could he look at Sasuke after all he'd done? It's why his first reaction was to touch Sasuke's wrist as a way to apologize/see if it still hurt him there.

As to Itachi wanting to live.. It's a little bit complex, because Sasuke is his sun. Itachi lived his entire life in a world akin to the arctic cold where it was always cold and sun never shone. Sasuke's presence changed everything for him. On one hand, he wanted to go away, because he knew he didn't deserve the kindness Sasuke showed him. On the other hand, he loved being around his brother whose memories were his only comfort. How could he not when the person he loved the most was there beside him and there was a chance he could go back to being normal again? So, when he was around Sasuke, the frost thawed and Itachi reacted in a more human way. He would never be as vulnerable as he was if it was someone else. He doesn't know how to and he couldn't emotionally and physically show vulnerability to anyone else.

He also knew Sasuke would be under threat from Madara and Itachi wasn't deluded about anything. Itachi wanted to savour the moments he had with Sasuke, before he knew he would have to leave, so he could kill Madara (and die in the process), but Sasuke's nightmare only confirmed his belief, removing any doubt from his mind, that with him by his side, Sasuke would never be happy, although it's not true at all. But Itachi had understood how Sasuke reacted to him even if Itachi was completely harmless. He doesn't blame Sasuke, he blames himself. So, while he knew he'd have to die sooner or later (when he was healthier so he could face Obito), Sasuke's nightmares prompted him to leave.

Why does Itachi hate medicines? Is it because he thinks he deserves to suffer or is it just a hc?

It is a headcanon of mine that he took medicines to live and they didn't necessarily ease his pain. Some days he'd be in a much worse condition than any of his medicines could handle, and it's all associated with the bad, painful memories for him. Taking them also means living for him, which he didn't want.

It's a childish quirk that I wanted to add because he's always so solemn... But that doesn't mean he wouldn't have some things in him that were childish that someone else might find relatable.

Also, in the anime/manga, do you think that Kishimoto should’ve added more realistic trauma responses (especially for Sasuke.) ? I think he did it better than many other animes, but I still think he should’ve added more. (And I do think Sasuke is mostly justified for his actions, I’m not sure why the narrator made him out to be a person who needed ‘fixing’)

I do believe Kishimoto does a very good job at Sasuke's trauma responses, except for not letting him process the grief of losing Itachi and making him decide to destroy Konoha almost instantly. The narration makes him look bad/in the need to be fixed because he's Naruto's biggest challenge. And as much as he suffers, he continues to slip past Naruto's grip. Naruto, being the kind of person he is, has fixed many people. Gaara, Zabuza, and Pain etc., so Sasuke being his biggest obstacle, not only in his life, but in his dream to become the Hokage, he has to be shown as someone who needs to be fixed. Because that would establish Naruto as the kind of person he's said to be from the start.

The narrative sidelines Sasuke a lot for this. I would have loved that along with the whole fixed thing, if Sasuke and Naruto both changed the system together. Sasuke wouldn't have to be the bad guy for his anger towards the village, and Naruto could still be the saviour, a kid with a golden heart.

I believe that Itachi was planned out from the start, now that I have read some of your posts. I was skeptical until the data book part (where he had only one s-rank mission), and now I feel really stupid for thinking otherwise. And I just realized that Itachi always looked sort of sad in the manga, not like a psychopathic cold-blooded killer.

He was definitely planned. There's no doubt about it. The first databook, along with the earliest chapters of the manga prove there was always much more to him than we initially thought.

how did you feel about Itachi before the twist (I’m sorry if this was asked already)?

It wasn't asked before and it's okay.

I loved him from the moment he was introduced. Sasuke was my favorite character, but Itachi too, even as a villain, became my favourite as soon as he showed up. He always seemed cold and sad to me instead of evil. Like, something was immeasurably sad about him the way he reacted to the things around him (or didn't... which was most of the times). He was ethereal.

When he died, before the reveal, I had to take a break before watching the next episodes because his death saddened me so much. And then his reveal was brutal. How could someone go through that much pain and be subjected to so much injustice and just be okay with all of it? It's been over a year and I haven't stopped mourning him. :(

Thanks for the lovely ask.

[bonnefeta]

I recently saw a tiktok talking about which of the Fallout protagonists people most prefer, in light of the fact the Fallout show is coming out soon ish.

Perhaps unsurprisingly the most popular answer was the courier, which makes sense because New Vegas is a masterpiece, but also a lot of people talked about liking their backstory being less scripted.

Like compared to the lone wanderer or the sole survivor there isn’t like a cut scened backstory about your family or anything, the courier just pops up with a blank slate you can imagine however you want.

I totally get that, don’t get me wrong I love New Vegas, but having thought about it I do find the journey of the sole survivor and the lone wanderer effected me a lot more.

Especially the lone wanderer who I reckon is probably my favourite.

The characters I remember from New Vegas often have very little to do with my character. Like I remember the NPCs I met but the courier is basically just my eyes and ears, a much more blank slate.

With Fallout 3 I remember feeling gut punched by a lot of those moments, leaving the vault for the first time, finding your father and then loosing him, they really hit emotionally because I’m invested in the story of my player character.

But the main one I want to focus on is one of the moments I’ve found most impactful across all the games I’ve played,

Leaving the vault for the 2nd time.

Now not everyone might have done this quest, I’m pretty sure I missed it on my first playthrough, but if you haven’t ever done it you absolutely need too.

After your father dies if you return to Megaton you can pick up a distress frequency from the Vault where you hear Amata (your old bff and one of my favourite minor characters) asking for your help specifically. Something has gone wrong back home and you need to came back to fix it.

So you toddle off back home, and either help (or hinder) the vault get through a mini civil war. For the purposes of this post we’ll go with help.

So you save the vault, Amata is now in charge and everyone is safe and sound again, thanks to you. You’ve managed to save your home.

But you can’t stay.

Amata breaks the news to you that even after everything you’ve done there’s too much bad blood for you to stay. People blame you for the chaos, the change it’s brought. Amata can lead them into a better future but you can’t be at her side while it happens.

So you leave.

You walk out the vault door again, and as it closes behind you and you head back out into the wasteland you’re alone again.

The first time I played it (and honestly every time since) I was hit with such a strange grief. Like a hollow sad feeling I wasn’t expecting. Loosing your father is sad but this felt more impactful to me for some reason.

Maybe it’s the one-two punch of it, like lose your father and lose your home. But I for me it’s always reminds of the quote “you can never go home again” by Thomas Wolfe.

I don’t know exactly why this concept has always stuck with me, like it’s just stuck in my brain and it never really leaves. Maybe it’s from moving inter-state when I was a kid, and a few times since. But that idea of wishing to go back to a place where things were better, where you were happier, only to go there and realise it’s not how you remembered, and that you don’t belong any more, I guess it hits home.

You’ve been cast out into the wasteland, gone from your relatively comfortable and happy home into a world of violence and chaos and horror, only to lose your father. You fail, your defeated by the enclave, you’re starting again after a devastating setback, and when you’re at your lowest you get just a crumb of hope.

You get to go home, back to that place, but it’s not the same. Even when you ‘fix it’, you end the violence, there’s still no place for you there.

You just don’t fit any more.

And so you leave, you’re alone again. There’s no going back to when things were better, and the road ahead is more than hard, it’s probably impossible and even if you do succeed life will still probably never be easy.

But the vault door is sealed behind you, there’s no where to go but forward.

I know this is reading so deeply into a very minor side quest from a game from 15 years ago, but I honestly think it’s some of Bethesda’s best storytelling and kind of criminally overlooked in all the new Fallout talk.

[kitofawriter]

Spoilers for LMK season five Episode 5-6 below the cut!

Starting again! Leggo!

Mei’s jet survived the crash I see

Trucker Pigsy! Jot that under ‘things I didn’t know I needed until now’

“Big Ham” somebody was WAITING to use that trucker name for him.

I like the design of those rocks.

Red laser in a flame named episode. Is this where we get Red Son?

The way Pigsys ears flap in the wind!!!

Also I’m going to assume this follows what everyone else was doing in the last episode so the crash hasn’t happened yet.

For some reason I’m getting a ‘this is gonna be a pod racing episode’ vibe. I am probably wrong but now I want that episode (even if we’ve already had a race episode)

You got stopped by a very cute mouse!

I feel like so far Pigsy is the one that works best in this animation. Idk, theres been no really jarring movements for him that I’ve noticed.

Red Son!!!! Yes Mei! Show him the love he deserves!!

Red Son guesses correctly. They are indeed stopping the apocalyptic cracks

Mei’s face! OMG!!!

Red Son is like the opposite of Tang. He’d probably be surprised to find out something isn’t real.

Is this like a Samadi fire thing? Are we finally getting anything related to that?

He’s so proud to be the creator of the Samadi fire!!

Researching the origins of the true fire? So…the Samadi fire? The fire you made?

Little pet fire dragon???? Are we giving Mei a weapon of mass destruction as a pet? Because that could not go wrong! /s

*cough* a failed replica of the Samadi fire *cough*

I love whatever that is. It needs a goofy name.

:3 face Mei!!

Also she’s so ready to go and he’s just like ‘hold oh like .2 seconds PLEASE’

“This is why we don’t hang out” please, you don’t hang out cause you don’t wanna admit you like peasants.

Pigsy’s going through some stuff. Maybe Tang can help with those scrawny ankles.

If you can’t tell, I love the scrawny ankles joke. It’s so funny.

“I’m his father” “I’m not strong enough to keep him safe” Pigsy you were the ONLY person that could help him sleep. Don’t downplay the care you give him. Also this is gonna end in so much angst.

Tang really regretting that “we’re side characters at best” comment from season three right about now.

Is Red Sons plan style INVADER ZIM?!?!

Red Son you are so dramatic. I love you!

Was…was that shot a FMA reference?!

Pigsy you are a good dad! You’re there for MK when he needs you! Don’t be sad!!

“You know it’s kinda your fault right?” Tang that is not helping!

Tang saying Pigsy was the one who made MK a good person! I can’t!! I need to pause!

“You’re his dad!”

The little mice!! I’m screaming!

I was not prepared for this many Pigsy feels!!

Tang is the number 1 found family supporter!

“This is not the best time for a crisis of confidence!!”

Mei, you’re the best, don’t doubt yourself.

Red Son stepping between her and the fire!!!

Ooohh, cool green electric form!!

Mei mech!! Mei mech!!!! Badass Mei mech!!

Isn’t that one of the pets from club penguin?

“Everyone gets a mech except for me” petition to give Red Son a mech 2024

The demon bull family picture!!

Red Son being determined to help those he loves!!

“See noodle boy” of the spicynoodle shippers screamed right there.

“Hey I texted you for help! You never responded” •-•

Mei’s been sending nonstop puppy videos!

Phone stop autocorrecting Mei to key please. I’m not even sure why that’s the word you’re choosing?

Mei communicates with puppy videos, no words needed.

She left her phone.

Episode 6! Leggo!! This is gonna be my last one today because though I want to stop worrying about spoilers, I also want it to last at least a little bit longer.

We inch ever closer to the return of Mac and also to later episodes that I just KNOW will be emotionally devastating.

Tang panicking, things are as they should be.

Was that the shoe guy but voiced by a woman? Good for her.

Pigsy vs destiny the season.

MK learning for SWK and Sandy!!!

Best buds Monkey King and Sandy! That’s them! I’m sure you’ll get your episode Mei.

Im guessing Mei or Tang help this episode then Pigsy helps with the final stone, but I could be wrong.

The art of SWK of fire and Sandy being held by the snake is hilarious. 10/10 no notes.

The MK and Mei art is also adorable.

Its gonna be the Tang episode to harken back to the dumpling episode where Mei thought she was gonna go and didn’t.

Sandy, you’re very inconspicuous, don’t listen to the mean old Tangy.

“Borrowing”

They all look…awesome.

Jin and yin!!

Are those helmets? Cause they look really weird. I get what they’re going for but I don’t like it.

Also they shoulda grabbed Pigsy if they wanted a singer.

Why doesn’t Mo get a disguise?

For some reason some of Mei’s lines are difficult for me to catch. I need subtitles, that aren’t auto generated and thus awful.

Nezha!!! My boi!! (If you haven’t noticed, basically all the characters are my boi, except Mei she my girl!)

“He’s bombing! You’re bombing!”

Nezha should joint Chang’e’s roller derby team. (This is a headcanon but they need to make it canon)

SWK were you gonna fight Nezha or try to talk to him before Mei grabbed you? you didn’t look fighty.

“Ahhh!” Followed by the guards flying.

“You’re not getting away that easi…” cap in face

Who threw the whole stall person and all?!?!

*meme of the person holding the cat down that’s surrounded by broken potted plants* Wukong.

Nezha mech!! Also Nezhie you’re trying really hard to catch these guys for someone who believes in their innocence.

The flower jetpack looking this is a really cool design.

I should draw Nezha

“We have to get out of here!” “What? Why? I can handle Nezhie” SWK, I love you so much (second only to Sandy in this version)

“Wah?”

MK trusting Nezha!!! And stepping in front of the blade!!! Nezha STOPPING!!!

“My father!” My guy, your father is a big meany. You’ve SEEN them stop world ending disasters before INCLUDING the one that started this!!

That is a really cool mech.

Fillet use!

Jerky jerk man appears.

Pagoda!

Nezha fighting his dad!!!

Get them outta there Tangy!!

Do not yell at Nezha, he’s a good boy and he’s actually helpful. I didn’t see you anywhere when Azure was doing all this damage. (I kinda only know Li Jing in connection to Nezha’s myth so he could be a pretty cool dude elsewhere, but here he’s a jerk)

“We’re all gonna die!” Hugs Tang. Of the Freenoodle shippers noticed that.

MK where did you bring them?

Also calling it now, Nüwa has the last stone and she’s in the pagoda.

“I call dibs!!” Please give Mei her adventure. She’s going to go rabid without it.

MK’s smile and wave face!!

Sandy waving back!

Somebody get SWK some Tylenol or something for his headache please.

The guardian designs are all super cool.

Love the tiger specifically.

“Uhhh, no we don’t.”

I am not ready for the rest of this season.

SWK keeps forgetting the fillet.

Can someone PLEASE get him some Tylenol?

Mo!!

MK knows what he’s doing.

Pigsy jumped after him first!!!

If anything happens to Pigsy I will scream. (If anything happens to any of them I will scream.)

Li Jinh doesn’t find is suspicious at all they that JUMPED?!

Magic costume change!

“These are…prison jumpsuits?!”

You’d think they’d have one that fits Sandy at least. Poor guys barely fits in that jacket.

Also Mo keeps getting left out of the costume changes. Justice for Mo!

“Aww my shirt.” Well. There it goes.

MK being the smarty kid again. Good boy.

I wanna watch another episode now but I also wanna wait and hold off to make it last. Decisions!!

[fahye]

the thing I am most sad about your podcasting hiatus is not getting any new random book/fic/media recommendations from y’all!! I mean I’m still working through what you’ve already recommended. but it’s not the same

anon, this is ALSO a thing I dearly miss about the podcast! okay, let's do some recs from the absolutely enormous amount of books I've read recently. gonna keep this list to the first ones that come to mind from the last few months or we'd be here for hours:

nightbitch by rachel yolen - this is uhhhh semi-horror litfic about a new mother who believes she's turning into a dog. it's furious and brilliant and bloody and deeply weird and I fucking loved it. (though I WILL say: content warning for the violent death of a pet.)

the half life of valery k by natasha pulley - a soviet nuclear physicist in the 1960s is sent to work in a strange town that is also a radiation experiment. unlike her other books this one isn't speculative, but it's emotionally and character-wise one of the best (THE ROMANCE!! ugh) and the historical detail is fascinating.

heartburn by nora ephron - a short & hilarious novel about a food writer who discovers her husband is having an affair when she is seven months pregnant. did you know nora ephron is a genius?? I feel like I'm the last person to discover this fact. this would make a fantastic double feature with nightbitch, actually.

starling house by alix e. harrow - I KNOW I KNOW it's not out until halloween 2023 but listen: this book changed my life. an absolutely superb contemporary southern gothic horror romance (just go with it) about poverty and hidden sins and a girl going to work in a creepy house. preorder it now, and while you wait, read summer sons by lee mandelo.

the spare man by mary robinette kowal - a smart and slick sci-fi take on the noir detective novel, starring a wonderful heiress engineer with chronic back pain who has to solve a murder on a spaceship after someone frames her new husband. also has SO many cocktail recipes in it, which I feel more books should adopt.

cuckoo song by frances hardinge - nobody can write creepy fantasy like hardinge, and I think this is her creepiest. it has some amazing magical worldbuilding on the grim side of whimsical, and very fraught siblings, and it will turn your mind subtly inside out. technically...middle grade, I guess? whatever. read it.

I kissed shara wheeler by casey mcquiston - yes! finally! I had been putting this one off because I'm just Not A YA Reader generally, but had a great time with it. both very scathing and very kind about a specific christian high school experience in the american south, and full of queer defiance and joy.

and finally, I've also been slowly rereading the vorkosigan saga by lois mcmaster bujold, which is tied with the discworld for my favourite series of all time. nobody can combine adventure and devastating character like bujold.

[walkingstackofbooks]

DS9 4x23 The Quickening thoughts (I’m re-watching, so beware spoilers for future episodes!) [8 Sept ‘23]

How does this episode start with something as silly as Quark's stupid advertising stunt?! XD

"And believe me, I will have fun." Yeah, Kira is scary. I love it.

I actually adore that shot of Julian and Jadzia transporting down, and the panoramic view.

"I slept in a bed for the first time on my life." That is devastating

"I'm sorry I don't understand. I- I thought you said you could help her." Juliaaaan <3 <3 <3

I love that both Julian and Jadzia have discarded the Prime Directive straight away, with their "we've got sophisticated equipment, we can help!" mindset!

"I thought you l this was a hospital. That you were a healer?" "I am. I take away pain." I have so much respect for Trevean, honestly.

"Well, there's nothing for us to do here. We should go." That's so unlike Julian. Gosh. He's so frustrated by this all!

"Come back for us within a week. With any luck we should have a cure by then." So optimistic! I can see why people would say he's arrogant, and he's definitely naive... but if they have cured a plague in three days it's also not baseless?? And the other two aren;t exactly saying "hah, that's impossible/unlikely, Julian".

Ekoria is so cute. "How would you like to see a picture of your baby?" Her smile!!! :3

Julian's excitement and inability to not use medical words XD

"Ekoria, where did you get all this food?" Jadzia being the gentle emotionally intelligent one next to Julian's unthinking "starving" <3

"I was saving it for my death, but something tells me I'm not going to need it anymore." Her faith from the outset makes this all so more devastating.

Julian doesn't have a problem with people not liking him -- but when people say they don't need a doctor? He needs them to need him -- and he needs to be allowed to help.

"What if I told you there was a chance you didn't have to die. I'm a doctor." It is SO much of his identity. (Feeling some DBIP feels for when he thinks he's gonna be stripped of that part of him.)

"Fixing a broken bone and curing the blight are two different things." "I know that." 💔💔💔

"Others have come here with promises of a cure, and stirred up hope, took food and clothing in exchange for their elixirs." I'm so curious about this, were they actually trying to help and failed and gave up, or were they scammers - in which case, I guess it's an easy planet to scam but for what, really? You do definitely understand Trevean's point of view though.

"I'm not making any promises." At least you know that much, Julian.

"Maybe my people don't deserve your help." "Oh they've just been suffering for so long they've lost hope that things can be better." Now that's the Julian I know and adore -- I love how these two together build up each other's hope and faith in other people 😭😭😭

"I suppose you're gonna wanna bleed me?" "Oh, um, a little." Welp XD I assumed the answer was going to be no 😂

"I cancelled my death for you. I was really looking forward to it." Oh no. I know what's coming. He gets a worse death. Oh, this is all so sad

"Think of it. She may well be holding the cure in her hands. Do you think we should tell her what she's giving them?" "She's nervous enough about using the hypo. It's better we wait till we're positive." He's too eager, just can't wait - I get that Julian, but good work on listening to Dax even if you're disappointed, because she's right.

It's the Kukulaka conversation!

"Trust me." "I do." Ohhh 💔💔

"I was watching you. You're very good with patients." HE'S SO SWEET

"But death comes to everyone in the end." "Except Kukalaka." How did that come to your mind as the next thing to say?! This is the most ADHD, such a random thing XD I'd forgotten how he'd brough Kukalaka up 😂

"Help me, Bashir!" fuuuuuuck

"Come on, breathe. Breathe. Breathe." "Julian..." "Breathe." This scene is everything. All the feels. This is my favourite sort of emotion.

"These people believed in me and look where that got them." 😭😭

"You know what worries me Julian, is that without me you won't have anyone to translate for you." Oh that was so soft :3 just a quiet lil joke. I adore Dax ❤❤

Him just carrying all that equipment by himself! :o

"Oh not a task. A privilege. Can you show me how to make it?" "I was hoping you'd ask that." Not me crying. 😭😭😭💔💔💔

"Good work." "Thank you, sir." He just shuts down with Sisko's praise. My HEART. Oh, Julian.

"But their children won't." "That's what I keep telling myself, sir." He says that so quickly, you can tell he doesn't believe it. That whole scene is just... I think it tells us so much about Julian. Yes, he's too brash and loud and naive sometimes, but everything comes from a place of caring so, so much about everyone... I love him, you know?