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revenantghost · 2 years ago

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Tristamp Wolfwood is a bit different than his counterparts, yeah? And I don’t mean that in a bad way, Orange is going somewhere with it, but it’s very different from what they’ve done with Vash and Meryl imo. With them, I feel like we got a glimpse of pre-canon. With Wolfwood... Orange is up to something, and it goddamn terrifies me. I love him dearly, he has some many moments that make me smile and go, “Yeah, that’s Wolfwood, my beloved asshole.” But it’s different. Oh so very different.

I’m just gonna point out a few examples of things I think are different enough to note here (drawing comparisons from Trimax since that was the source for Tristamp, but I’ll try not to spoil much--just don’t Google names you don’t recognize), and then go a little off the rails with a couple theories (spoilers there, click the read more at your own peril). This is DEFINITELY not everything, and maybe my takes are a bit off, idk. If there’s something you’ve picked up on, definitely feel free to add it!

Well, here goes:

My dude is a mess. Wolfwood is typically put together and some would call him smooth (he’s a mess inside always, though) in his other incarnations. Orange pointed out at Sakuracon that the characters are supposed to look younger and more immature in Tristamp, and Wolfwood specifically is supposed to look like he can’t dress himself (lmao). They said they have their reasons but just didn’t have time to explore them in canon. So, I can make assumptions, but I’ll wait to see what comes in the future.

Another one that staff talked about in a recent interview is that Wolfwood is technically a priest according to his contract, but he calls himself an undertaker. Yeah, yeah, edgelord Tristamp Wolfwood and all that, but I’ve seen people call back to how, in the manga, it’s Vash that always takes the time to bury the dead. Wolfwood even chews him out a bit for this. But it’s literally in our introduction to him in this version. He carries the weight of the dead with him enough to make it part of his title, and that’s different for him.

I could be misremembering with this one. But I distinctly remember being surprised when I read Trimax because Wolfwood going into the Eye of Michael seemed more of his own choice than it is in Tristamp (not that a literal child could consent to, you know, torture and abuse)? But either way Wolfwood loathes the Eye of Michael from the get-go here, he doesn’t stay by choice and actively tries to escape. Just like all these choices he makes in Tristamp (which is MASSIVELY different in general), he does it for someone else. He can’t try to escape again, because they have Livio.

Speaking of! Livio!!! This was another thing that caught me by surprise going from Tristamp to Trimax, their relationship is so much different here, so much softer and it hurts in a beautiful way. I feel like less is more here to avoid spoilers, but this introduction pre-Trimax-canon and any future conflict with this backstory... is very different.

Holy hell, a moment like this happening so early?! Vash and Wolfwood having ideological differences and not understanding each other takes up so much time in Trimax. But over the course of three episodes, we go from Wolfwood killing someone that Vash wanted to save (props to Tristamp for making that gutpunch even more personal, ouch--though points deducted for not having the, “Shoot,” moment there), to Vash seeing how very similar they are and getting a grasp of why Wolfwood is the way he is. Wolfwood is so much softer in Tristamp. He’s way more emotional, he cares so deeply for things outside of himself, and he doesn’t have that apathetic bitterness. Staff have said that our main characters will be a lot more recognizable post-timeskip, so some shit is gonna happen to this man, but this is a fundamental shift in the early days of their relationship.

AGAIN!!! Wolfwood is doing this whole mission, betraying Vash, to save the orphanage. He didn’t have to listen to Vash trying to save the sandsteamer. It doesn’t matter if Vash is pissy if Wolfwood blew up the ship to save the orphanage, because that’s his end goal. He has a giant laser that just blew through an entire giant worm, this ship is nothing. Wolfwood’s trying to cling to the monster that he sees himself as, trying to stay the Punisher, but he’s not. He already has enough faith in Vash to trust him with everything he cares about. This takes a lot of development time for Wolfwood to trust Vash like this in Trimax--and even in the very end, he still doesn’t trust Vash with this. (If you know, you know.)

AGAIN!!!!! Wolfwood cares!!! He does not need to question if Vash is sure, if he thinks he can make up with or convince Knives or whatever, in fact he shouldn’t. He should give Vash no reason to question getting to July. But Wolfwood, be careful, your feelings are showing. Wolfwood’s getting worried about Vash. Even though all he needs to do is keep his head down and get this dork to July.

This was never Trimax Wolfwood’s motivation. Whatever drove him left him hollow and empty, he did not care. Even when he saw things starting to go south and he wanted out, Vash ended up being right: he was too much of a coward to do anything about it. (If you know, you know.) I had wondered, after Legato tried to bulldoze everything he loved, why the hell didn’t Wolfwood just desert the mission and team up with the gang. He already has such a deep connection with them. But this would be why.

WOLFWOOD IS NO LONGER CONTRACTED BY THE EYE OF MICHAEL AT THE END OF THE SEASON??? Some people say that Wolfwood still works for them, but tbh for what reason? They’re about to end the world. And then what about this line? He wouldn’t exactly have a choice, would he? I do think we’re gonna meet Chapel (right before Livio shoots himself, you’ll hear a voice and see a silhouette (not Razlo, though he’s there too) that seems to be a “new” character), and Wolfwood might end up working under him for some fucked up reason... But if not, this changes everything. It already changes everything considering how big Wolfwood escorting Vash to Knives is. But that’s done now. And because Vash saw right through him the first time, if Wolfwood comes back to do the same thing again, it might feel cheap and a little silly.

MERYL!!! Trimax is basically the Vash and Wolfwood show, right? The girls are around, but mainly their interactions are with Vash. But he and Meryl interact so much just over the course of twelve episodes. They even have that adorable group shot. She matters enough that he came back to rescue her, and the two of them worry about Vash together in the finale. Who knows what happened post-finale, but Wolfwood’s self isolation is already shot to hell. He’s more big brother Nico than he’d had the chance to be in awhile, he has so many people to care for.

So the danger has passed, Vash’s roots are back inside of him, the orphanage should be fine. But Wolfwood comes back for them. Yeah, yeah, the stupid cigarette excuse, but this is Wolfwood, not Vash. He didn’t come back because of the cigarette debt and we all know it. (Also kinda hoping that him saying what he does about fighting Knives being crazy is foreshadowing for some ridiculous 1v1 fight between them, had to throw that in there)

Now, theories Trimax spoiler time bby (I’ll also post any corrections under the cut):

EDIT 1: I was bonkers wrong on the Tristamp timeline (it takes place from May 25th to July 21st, not including the epilogue), so I just deleted that bit from the og post. I cannot remember where I got that number in my brain.

They are doing something with this man and I hate it as much as I love it. Every other character can go off and follow similar paths but they just nuked the entirety of Wolfwood’s storyline by having him be finished getting Vash to Knives and him choosing to trust Vash so goddamn early. And in less than a week of canon time!!! ORANGE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!

They’ve knocked everything out of the park so far, I had so many concerns about what they were doing while watching, and they squashed most of them. So I choose to have faith that Orange has a brilliant plan that will crush my emotions in mind. It will probably eviscerate us just like Trimax did. But I have two theories as to how this could go:

First: And by far the most likely: all roads lead to that goddamned couch. They changed a ton of things, but just to make it all hurt in a new and exciting way. Don’t get me wrong, this was the final straw in making Trimax one of my favorite manga ever--Wolfwood’s character arc is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever read. I’m a bit nervous because we’ve already shifted that arc so much, but there’s a lot of room to fuck us all up in this one. I imagine the final confrontation will still be between the two brothers, but I imagine the context will be different.

Wolfwood’s already chosen to spare Livio, so that won’t be the clincher, but there are so many things that Wolfwood wants to fight for now to use against him. Something in the timeskip will probably firm up his ideals to be the opposite of Vash’s in a different way than before, but I imagine we’ll get at least a season of them being goofy and learning how to live and regain their humanity together before they’re couched. :’) And now the girls are going to be a bigger part of it to make the grief all that greater :’))) Thanks in advance, Orange :’))))))

Second: No couch??? I know, then what would be the point? He’s doomed in every universe, how will it be as powerful if they don’t do that here??? And I agree, I think this is way less likely. But Wolfwood has already accepted the power of anime Jesus friendship into his life, and that’s a huge part of what lead to his death. Not that I don’t think it’s still likely for Tristamp Wolfwood to think it’s too much to ask Vash to step away from the conflict with Knives for whatever his personal struggles are, but... man that sandsteamer incident is foreshadowing something and I’m afraid. It shifted so much in a way that is so significant, I feel like I’m not doing it justice with my words.

Speaking of possible foreshadowing: Wolfwood isn’t the product of random experimenting like he was in Trimax, he’s the product of plant experimentation. And Vash can heal plants. Again, that’s a big ol’ stretch, as I think that they made the Gung Ho Guns a product of plant experimentation to try and explain the magic powers they all have, and it’s a very smooth idea imo. But it haunts me. Also, given that Conrad has probably been kept alive through fucked up plant methods and how long Rollo remained the same, and Conrad said the only flaw in his experiments were that they had to eat and drink... does Wolfwood and Gung Ho Gun friends have an extended lifespan??? Okay, getting off topic, sorry :’D

Basically, Wolfwood has already made huge leaps and bounds in trusting Vash, even listening to Meryl, and growing a heart for humanity. To the point I was half-afraid this guy was going to die in the finale, because we’ve already seen so much of his character arc. (It would have been a poor choice and I’m happy it didn’t happen EVEN IF I’M STILL AFRAID). And he’s based off of Trimax Wolfwood quite heavily! You can see it in the core of his personality still!!! WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO WITH HIM???

I doubt either of these ideas are going to be quite right, watch as Orange works in a secret, third thing that I can’t even imagine lmao. But this has been driving me absolutely bonkers and I had to share. This is still Wolfwood, and I have a feeling he’s only going to be more and more of the lovable asshole from here on out. But I have no idea where we’re going with it.

Holy hell, this was a long post. If you made it to the end of my insane ramblings well, uh... congrats??? I hope it was somewhat worth the read???? I’m so sorry?????? Thank you??????????

#Trigun #Trigun Stampede #Tristamp #Trimax #Trigun Maximum #Trigun Meta #I'm so tired I'm sorry about any and all typos #And also if this is stupid #It's just been GNAWING AT ME #WOLFWOOD I LOVE YOU BUT YOU SCARE ME #Long Post #My Trigun Meta

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kirain · 8 months ago

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your gale takes actually got me to look deeper into forgotten realms lore (esp where it pertains to the afterlife) and long story short i’m at least a little bit fixated on it now and also will go to bat for that wizard basically at any point. also wild magic. i’ve been reading so much about wild magic, it’s so so interesting. esp wild magic sourced from the far realm and the implications that could have for a wild magic mage in esp the bg3 setting

Thank you, I'm so glad to hear that! I'm still learning about the lore myself (there's so much), and we should all be thanking Larian for introducing so many new people to D&D!

Wild magic is insane, and I had a great time using it with my sorcerer. The magic system in general is truly fascinating, as is its history in context of the game. It's just too bad it's linked to a god. I think I've said this before, but an irksome detail about Mystra is that she technically isn't a "bad" god, but she should definitely keep her fingers to herself. Every iteration has done objectively horrible things to mortals, but because she's written by a man who clearly favours her (in my humble opinion) nothing she does is presented as wrong. 😒

These asks actually reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend of mine. He basically said, "Elminster is on Mystra's side and he cares about Gale, so obviously Mystra is right." But here's the thing:

Not only is Eliminster a really annoying self-insert made by Ed Greenwood, the creator of the Forgotten Realms (and I mean that literally, he's admitted he's a self-insert), but Eliminster has also had ... "relations" with his surrogate daughter. He's betrayed his friends for Mystra. He's killed arguably innocent people. So you'll have to forgive me if I don't look to him for moral guidance. He also slept with the previous iterations of Mystra and blindly follows her commands, so he might just be a teensy bit biased. In fact, if you look at various forums, you'll see a lot of players complaining about the character's irritating Gary Stu status, and that Dungeon Masters hate putting him in their campaigns.

Elminster will never question Mystra, because in his mind she's a perfect being who deserves everything, including people's lives; ignoring the fact that pretty much every god in D&D is canonically flawed. He's the type of person who would tell a grieving parent that God took their recently deceased child for "reasons we cannot comprehend".

He says he took no pleasure in burdening Gale with her ultimatum, but let's be real—he wasn't that hurt by it. In fact, the Elminster we meet in game isn't even real. It's a snow clone. He couldn't be bothered to visit Gale, who he apparently respects and cares about, in person. The only time he shows any genuine emotion towards Gale is in the ascended epilogue, when he writes him a disappointed letter. And I wouldn't be surprised if that disappointment is more about him challenging Mystra than actually achieving godhood.

Though it should be said that Elminster is also a victim of Mystra. The iteration before Midnight (current Mystra) groomed and abused him for a millenia, yet for some reason we, the audience, are supposed to pretend there's nothing wrong with that. If anything, we're supposed to view it as "sexy". As if Gale and Elminster are "lucky" to have caught her attention.

Reading up on the lore surrounding these two is truly horrifying. Elminster is old enough now that his actions are informed and unforgivable. He helps Mystra groom boys to exploit and never questions her. He's not merely complacent, he's active in her ploys. Despite his numerous heroic feats, I personally can't overlook it, especially when he could have been Gale's biggest defender.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #larian studios #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #dnd #d&d #dungeons and dragons #bg3 mystra #elminster #lore

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factcheckingmclennon · 3 months ago

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Can you fact check This One being about John? It's an interpretation that really annoys me because I think it just comes from one rambling answer about relationships in general where he vaguely connects John and George's relationship to the song and not one where he's saying anything meaningful about his and John's relationship. I love the song and it's so outside of my interaction with it that I find the way it's accepted as McLennon fact really hard. But maybe there's a source out there I'm not aware of

oh i can answer this one immediately bc i am one of those believers (sorry anon, sob) & probably one of the folks who has annoyed you w this over on my main

but my answer is the same as it will be with pretty much Any lyric interpretation (unless it's a song that's like obviously and blatantly and said a million times to be about the other, like "here today" or "how do you sleep?") which is...

bc ultimately, as fans, we are all going to have our own interpretations of songs and that's fine! i mean, people shouldn't be repeating it as hard fact, but at the same time sometimes u just gotta breathe out & let people interpret how they will. (like i, for one, don't think "dear boy" is about john, but it's not my business if someone thinks it is)

so i will say now (& it is in my pinned, a bit), unless there's some definitive answer on a lyrics based fact-check (like, again, "here today" or "how do you sleep?"), my answer is pretty much Always gonna be neutral. but i will do on any of these types of questions is try & find both sides of the interpretation as well as any quotes from john/paul/others on the song.

so let's get into it ! i'll present both sides & try to remain as unbiased as possible but do know i Am one of the people that thinks it's about john and it's okay that you're not and it's fine that i am. we are all living in peace and harmony and mclennon here lmao

so here's the quote in question (which i'm sure you know, but for everyone else):

Interviewer: Let me ask you about one of your new songs, ‘This One’. About a marriage? Paul: A relationship, yeah. Interviewer: And about not expressing emotions and feelings. Paul: You get those moments where you always think; "I’m saving it up. I’ll tell him one day." And you know what happens. A lot of people, John for instance, getting back to that subject. He died. Um.. I was lucky. The last few we- months that he was alive we’d managed to get our relationship back on track. We were talking, having real good conversations. Real, nice and friendly. George, actually, didn’t get get his relationship right. I think they were arguing ‘till the end, which I’m sure is a source of great sadness to him. And I’m sure in the feeling of this song that George was always planning to tell John he loved him, but time ran out. That’s what the song’s about. Like, there could never be a better moment than this one. Y’ know now. Take this moment to say… "I love you."

(source) (again, an archived blog, but it's audio so i'm using it as a legit source)

argument for it being about john

well, to start with, paul immediately answers with "i'll tell him one day" which, regardless of if it's about john, is a very blatantly queer answer. maybe a slip of the tongue, who knows, but there's not much question at the least that this song is romantic. so paul saying it's about a "him" is very interesting, even if it's not john. (edit: given the youtube video linked below, it can also be heard as "them". i still don't hear "them" or think it's continuous, but that is one interpretation & hearing of this interview and it's a valid one!)

second, he does connect it to george and john's relationship, but he does it in a way that's just again connecting the song to him and john. he says "i'm sure in the feeling of this song that george (...etc)" which is just him saying he thinks george can relate to the feeling of the song.

and ofc back to the beginning of the quote, right after saying "i'll tell him one day" he says "a lot of people, john for instance (...)" which is just connecting that sentence to john. he goes on to say they got their relationship right, but then at the end loops back around to saying the song is about regretting not saying "i love you", which we know from "here today" and other paul quotes he does deeply regret not saying to john. so an Entire Song about that regret is not like. unfeasible to be about john.

i will say, i at least think this song is about more than one thing. he says here it's about that type of relationship he had with john (or the nebulous "him" who i mean. who else would that be? tara?) and then he does also talk about how he had fun w the storytelling w the word play on "this swan" and the hindu imagery. (edit: also with the full context of the youtube video below, this is even more relevant, because paul also talks about family and a "her". imo, it's more than likely a song about many people/relationships. some people think that one of those is john, myself included!)

argument for it not being about john

like you said, it is a bit of a rambling answer! and saying it's about john IS just an interpretation. paul saying "him" could've been a slip of the tongue, or maybe he had some other romantic relationship with a man we're not privy to, or maybe he did completely mean all those lines platonically and it's about various men he's been friends with or even john in a platonic way.

he does also connect the song to george and john, so it could be about that. i've also seen someone posit that here he is trying to reach out to george in his own way- thinking george must have the same regrets as him with john & thus this is his attempt to repair that relationship before they have those regrets with each other too.

and ofc, it could just be a totally hypothetical song. he never says it's about his own life, and he does include a lot of fictional imagery about a swan in this song. he could just be telling a story he doesn't necessarily relate to.

edit: there is also a full youtube video (time mark for part of this interview comes at 59:51). in the video, paul also mentions parents as someone you might regret not telling how you feel. following another edited clip, he says the "I’m saving it up. I’ll tell him/them one day," line, which can also be read as a "them" referring to parents rather than a "him". he also mentions a "her" in this interview as well, which adds credence to the fact that this song is about many types of relationships/people and this doesn't necessarily mean it's about john at all. or that if it is, it's romantic, since he mentions parents as well.

#checked: neutral #mclennon #tried to present both sides here but as i'm firmly on the side of it being about john #lmk (you anon or anyone else) if there's other arguments for it Not being about john you'd like added!#or if anyone else has arguments For it being about john lmk too #let's just keep it respectful though bc this one like 99% of lyric checks is ENTIRELY interpretation/theory and none of us are for sure rig #*right #so remember that guys!#type: factcheck #type: ask

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theminecraftbee · 11 months ago

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hello i am FASCINATED by how well you write absolutely everyone in mcyt and so i must ask directly: do you. like. have a big document with all your notes on them and their speech patterns and traits and personalities and stuff. or does it just Come natural. is it some secret third thing

if its the first thing: would you be so inclined to perhaps share those notes with the world... for the people... for society... for the greater good of all man... Maybe...

if its the second thing: i violently applaud you through sobs. what the hell. How. wish that were me

if its some secret third thing: i still kindly ask for you to share some thoughts on characterization, or tips and things for it because. the posts you've made like that in the past have very quickly become biblical to me. i'd love some big master post about every hermit's and/or life-series-er's speech patterns or something since you just... write them so well all the time without fail. its phenomenal.

no big document! and I probably won’t write a masterpost, either—I actually tend to not be great at articulating how I write my characterization. my specialization went into “writing fic” more than “writing meta” and while I’m getting BETTER at the latter, I’m still not always good at articulating exactly the things that people probably look for when they look for someone to give them characterization tips.

I’d almost say two is the right option here, but that’s not really fair either—while “it came to me in a vision” is the response I have to a lot of people asking “how did you write that thing”, I should note that I have ALSO been writing for over a decade now and watch a lot of mcyt! so between the practice and watching a good amount of the source material to get everyone’s voices into my head, it’s not really “it came natural fully formed” so much as “it feels natural to me because I’ve practiced a lot”, you know?

if you want shortcuts to realistic dialogue, look for what kinds of words the person you’re writing tends to repeat, use, not use. also, don’t discount osmosis from other people in the fandom; some of my characterization is definitely made up of me having practice synthesizing the thoughts I get looking at other people’s stuff. shortcuts to characterization in general are… harder… but remember that people are Weird when they feel emotions, but they’re still PEOPLE, and aim for that, and you’ll start to get stuff. but the thing is that most of this is just… a lot of practice.

and like, that’s a large part of what it comes down to—watch the guys you want to write so you can hear their voices in your head more easily, and then practice. and then over time you’ll find the shortcuts and style that work for you and how to use those to characterize things! heck, you may even get to the point you start to have Strong Opinions, which is always fun; the other reason I won’t write a characterization document is that I always disagree with several items on any such document I’ve read for a fandom I write and that’s okay. not everyone is going to characterize everyone the same way or fully agree on what is or isn’t in character, and I don’t want to be too centralizing, you know?

so you know… the best place to start is to get started! good luck out there!

#answered #hopefully this helps?

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boywifesammy · 1 year ago

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s5e11 sam, interrupted is THE EPISODE. it’s a fucking cinematic pipe bomb. watching it is like chewing on glass and swallowing propane. it is wonderful, it is amazing, it is EXCRUCIATING and i love it. allow me to explain.

(under the cut because i ended up rambling lol)

like, yes… it is extremely ableist. it is extremely offensive. it is an overdone harmful caricature of psych wards and horrific to watch but that is EXACTLY what makes it so good. i’ve never seen spn as a horror show but man this episode?? the psychological distress of it, the unease, the dereality??? it has me frothing at the mouth.

as someone who has tics and PTSD i have first hand experience being labelled as Crazy so that’s the lens i’m coming at this from. this episode is most definitely not a reliable source for mental health info but the way they portrayed martin’s character kinda got me. him stuttering over certain words, his general paranoia, how they clearly address that he went through a deeply traumatic event but that he’s still useful as a hunter even though he can’t do the things he used to before. i don’t think the writers intended for this episode to be viewed the way i did but man i am shaking it around in my cranium like a snow globe.

just the first few minutes of it is insane. dean acknowledging that sam was high on demon blood and that the apocalypse wasn’t his fault. seeing the absolute absurdity of the show in perspective with real life. dean admitting to his psych doctor that he's an insomniac, alcoholic, and incapable of holding long-terms relationships with his usual blase nonchalance, then immediately clamming up when she hits him with the "let's talk about your father." ??!!! i know dean is The daddy issues character but i love when they call him out like that.

and how can i Not point out the blatant assault and objectification… wendy forcefully making out with both sam AND dean. them both getting probed by the fucking monster of the week not even 10 minutes into the episode. SAM BEING TIED DOWN. i cannot explain to you how much i love seeing him restrained. the moment i saw sam tied down and angry i literally vibrated out of my skin that boy must be helpless and restrained more often it is beautiful.

on a sort of related note: high sam. yes. just yes. the little nose boop. him telling dean I Love You. getting all emotional about how much he cares about his brother. the themes of his autonomy being stripped. him being drugged up against his will when he’s a recovering drug addict????? INSANE.

also one thing that really stood out to me was dean being diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic with narcissistic personality disorder and religious delusions. which, yes, is inaccurate, but seems more like a misinterpretation of his PTSD symptoms. dean isn’t schizophrenic but he IS paranoid and he’s trained himself so thoroughly to weaponize his feelings that even to HIMSELF he seems narcissistic, when he’s really just scared and desperate. he externalizes his self-hatred as this overfed bravado but it’s because if he was honest about how he felt about himself the guy would simply fall apart.

expanding on that note… sam&dean meta on how they react to trauma & grief. dean immediately clams up and becomes anxious and terrified. he shrouds himself in so much false confidence but he genuinely hates himself so fucking much. so much that he just sits with his pain because he thinks he deserves it, while sam wants to externalize. he’s angry and that scares him because of what’s in his blood but the truth is that he has every right to be angry. he wants to be gentle but he has so much repressed rage that it bursts out of him and leaves him terrified in the aftermath. dean on the other hand wants to be angry but he’s so scared and critical of himself that he shuts down.

and the ending. my god the ending. dean telling sam to wrap it up and stuff it down. it’s excruciating to watch because dean’s advice is fucking shit but it’s also heart-breaking because it puts into perspective just how much these boys have on their conscience.

they PHYSICALLY cannot deal with their trauma. it is so awful and overwhelming that they could not function if they remembered it, so they forget about it. they push it down. they hide it away, and it’s so fucking refreshing to have an episode that acknowledges that they do that because THAT IS A TRAUMA RESPONSE. it is quite literally a SURVIVAL tactic. people who are severely traumatized will wipe their memory of traumatic events because they cannot function with it in the peripheral. this is a clear manifestation of sam and dean’s PTSD and how when they’re faced with these problems, their emotions take over and they completely lose themselves, whether that’s due to fear or rage.

the horror of this episode isn’t the wraith. it isn’t the silly little monster sucking out people’s brains. it’s the thing inside you. it is the imagery of these people hanging or with slit wrists being passed off as suicidal because they’re mentally ill. it is the ugly truth of trauma and the ways it twists your memory and self-worth. it is the inherent belief that someone is worthless if they are psychotic or paranoid. it’s the way the episode puts that perspective on sam and dean, shows them what it’s like to hallucinate and drags up their own repressed memories and puts them on full display. it is TRULY horrifying and it is GRIM and NASTY because it is about the human psyche and the horrible ways it can be twisted. it’s a fucking phenomenal episode if you can read the subtext and get past the whole “scary psych ward bad” wrapping.

#oc #supernatural #spn meta #episode analysis #spn 5x11 sam interrupted #sam and autonomy #dean winchester #sam winchester #tw ptsd #tw sui talk #tw sa #tw drugs #hello :)#tagging triggers because this one is a bit of a doozy #i went a little bit crazy watching this episode could you tell #i am very sorry to dump my ramblings on your dash but HEAR ME OUT HERE—#anyways. ANYWAYS.

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millenialfanfictionaddiction · 2 years ago

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Being Nekoma’s Emo Manager

Nekoma x Fem! Manager (she/her pronouns)

Warnings: probably swearing 🤷🏻‍♀️ idk if that’s even a warning

AN: this is an anon request! I realized I had it labeled from Spooky Anon but it wasn’t signed from Spooky anon 😅 so idk who it’s from.

*aggressively hits G note on piano and stares into your soul*

If you unaware of the song that made an entire generation, please google it

Also I will not argue this point because I have both age and vintage Emo on my side 😌

Now for a mini history lesson, the Emo I’m going to be referring to today was popular from the late 90s to late 2000s and into the 2010s

This means heavy black eyeliner, hair that defied gravity, neckties being used as anything but neckties

Black with hints of accent colors such as, but not limited too, pinks, orange, white, etc.

The days when TRL and MTV were the way to “stream” new music and hot topic was the source of all band t-shirts

Now that I’ve covered a small history lesson, let’s strap in shall we!

So get your check board belts and fingerless gloves ready kids!

Because it’s time to get EMOtional 😂

N E Ways- let’s just say, you classified yourself as an “Emo kid”

It wasn’t super unheard of to be different fashionably in school but you, well you were definitely a sight

Your hair was teased to the rafters, bows of every color along with skulls littered your hair

Your eye liner was the blackest black, and you skin looked like you hadn’t seen sun in decades 😅

You wore fishnet tights with vans or perhaps another skateboarding shoe

You looked pretty intimidating to most people who didn’t know you

I mean, your style doesn’t exactly scream approachable

However, the people who did know you, knew that your style of “dark and brooding” didn’t measure up AT ALL to your personality

You were a complete sunshine ☀️

A literal sweetheart and absolute Angel!

Unfortunately a lot of kids didn’t get to know you ☹️

But luckily, there was one guy who didn’t care about looks

He really didn’t care about much actually 👀

And that happened to be our favorite setter Kenma!

Because Kenma honestly does not care about looks or superficial things like that

Actually, when you first got teamed up with Kenma to work on a project, a lot of kids thought it was a strange combo

But somehow, you two managed to make it work and in fact, you got the best grade in the class

After that, you and Kenma became partners for every project

There was just something he enjoyed about you

Probably your weird similarity to Hinata honestly 😏

Soon you and Kenma started hanging out after school

You both loved video games as well as had similar styles in music

Look at me and tell me Kenma wouldn’t be into Emo rock 👁️👄👁️

Fall out boy, Paramore, Taking Back Sunday, THE USED!!!!

Anyways, soon Kuroo joins and he’s confused about your friendship with Kenma

Like you and Kenma are complete opposites but you get along super well

Eventually Kuroo starts taking a liking to you as well

Kuroo has natural Emo hair so it’s fate 💅

Kuroo soon figures out why Kenma enjoys your company as you are a literal dark ball of sunshine

Eventually you start accompanying out kitty cats to practice in order to hang out with Kuroo and Kenma

Upon entering the gym, everyone stares at you

You low key kinda scare the first years, Inuoka and Shibayama

Yaku and Kai are super interested as in why you are there

Yamamoto is just dead because there’s a girl in the gym 🙄

And Lev, well Lev can’t keep his mouth shut

“Hey you’re that weird chick that wears black and has crazy hair. I’ve heard a lot about you!” Lev screams

Yaku please 😌

“LEV SHUT UP!” Kuroo yells as Yaku kicks him

You just giggle, a sound nobody was expecting, as you say, “I’m Yn! I guess I kind of do get a little bit of a reputation but I promise, I’m not evil or something!”

“She’s actually kind of cute in a different way,” Kai says as Fukunaga and Yaku nodd in agreement.

Soon, you are coming to every practice and helping where you can

Setting up chairs, filling water balls, handing out towels

The boys quickly adore you and soon you just naturally become apart of the team

Kuroo officially asks you the teams manager which you gladly accept

It’s hard finding a club with your specific tastes and since you could still express your style and personality, volleyball club seemed perfect!

You enjoyed playing music, listening to music and writing which were all supported by Nekoma

Our progressive Kings 👑

Honestly they were so supportive of their Emo scene queen!

They loved when you added little touches of red to your outfits and even made a hair bow that specifically said “Nekoma” on it 🥹

Of course, they were still boys so they all found you super cute and adorable

Yamamoto was your personal body guard for everything

It didn’t matter what, he always walked you to every class and if anyone made any comments about you, he would challenge them to a “rumble”

Language you later learned, was picked up from Karasuno 🙄

You had heard about Karasuno and you were honestly so excited to meet them!

Kenma had told you about Karasuno’s tiny middle blocker

On the way to training camp, our sweet boys let you play the music

Honestly Coach Nekomata was way into it 😂

He was such a hip coach and he knew you kids were into some weird stuff

Please he was too 🤚🏻

Anyways, he’s just happy you bring so much joy to the team

And honestly you match Nekoma’s cat-like mysterious vibes

So when you showed up, the other teams just kind of stared at you

Obviously you kinda stood out like a sore thumb Yn, sorry to say

But don’t worry, Yamamoto is on the case 🫡

“WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT? HAVENT UOU EVEN SEEN A GORGEOUS GIRL BEFORE?!?” He screams

You rn 👉🏻😐

Yaku 👉🏻 YAMAMOTO STOP BEING AN IDIOT

You just roll your eyes and smile, bowing to the teams and greeting them

Almost instantly, they melted 🥰

Because like how are you both adorable and scary???

Literally Emo culture mkay

“Come on Yn, let’s go,” Kenma says as you wave and walk away

Eventually you get introduced to all the teams, including Karasuno

You end up making eye contact with Hinata several times as he observes you

Finally, he makes his move

“Hi there! I really like your style! I see your friends with Kenma and the pretty girl manager for Nekoma! I’m Shoyo Hinata and I’m a middle blocker!” He shouts

You smile back and greet him, “Kenma had told me so much about you! It’s so great time finally meet you!”

Kuroo and Daichi watch you both and shake their heads

“Boy short stuff really can make friends with anyone can’t he?”

“You new manager looks super sweet and outgoing, albeit a little interesting,” Daichi says as Kuroo nods

Soon you and Hinata, and by consequence Bokuto, become besties

Honestly you really enjoy hanging out with Akaashi but we won’t tell Bokuto that 😶

You share your knowledge as well as your unique style of cheering with the boys

You wrote cute little cheers and even inspirational poetry to share with the boys

Bokuto and Hinata loved your fancy words : D

And even when Bokuto went into his own Emo modes, the teams knew exactly who to call!

“YN HALPPPP!” Akaashi would silently communicate to you with his eyes

You 👉🏻 NEVER FEAR OUR SCENE QUEEN IS HERE 🦸🏻‍♀️

“Bokuto would you like to listen to some music or maybe we can talk about your feelings?” You say as you rub his back

“I could use a hug,” Bokuto 🥺

You 👉🏻😌🥰 of course-

Akaashi doesn’t get it, Nekoma doesn’t get it but they appreciate it!!

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staycalmandhugaclone · 10 months ago

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Star Wars Rant - Take 2!

Guys. Guys, I’m sorry. I had a thought on the way to work today… and now I’m going to force it upon all of you, too, so that at least I won’t suffer alone.

Kaminoans do not value emotion. They value perfection. In fact, the social demand for genetic perfection is what led them to cloning and thus gave us our lovely copy/ paste cornucopia of delicious potential for OCs, wartime angst, and brotherly shenanigans. We know each clone ended up developing a unique personality even as cadets, but imagine the first batches. They didn’t have older clones to look up to, to learn that becoming their own person was okay. They had asshole mercenaries, the legendary original source for their DNA, and, most abundantly, the Kaminoans to raise them.

Children learn through mimicry. They see their guardians interact with the world, and that’s the initial outline for who they become. If they spent most of their time around the Kaminoans, that means they would likely view emotions as a detriment, with some interplay offsetting that from Jango and the mercs.

Fast-forward a couple generations to the discovery and implementation of said clones, during which time the Kaminoans have likely done away with anyone who strayed too far from their ideal soldier, furthering the general understanding that emotions are dangerous and something to be stifled. Then, suddenly, here are these Jedi Generals who fall all over the emotional spectrum! Shaak Ti shows them compassion. Yoda shows them acceptance (and chaos, let’s be real). Anakin shows them fun (also chaos. So much chaos). Obi Wan, the biggest flirt in the damn galaxy, just completely upends whatever textbook definition of romance may have been briefly taught to “prepare” them as cadets.

What I’m really getting at, though, is that clones were brought up without love. They were created by a race that pretty much bred out any tendency toward affection, trained by a man who regarded them as lesser copies of himself, and *decommissioned* if they displayed too much independence (I know there are caveats to this, such as Alpha-17 and the CCs, but they had much less patience for the CTs). And here are these Jedi who love in such a blindingly open and overwhelming way. How do they cope with that? How do they not become insanely loyal to these kind, generous beings that don’t treat them like numbers for the first time in their lives??

And then there’s the other side: the squads that have the misfortune of being paired with Jedi less prone to that innate goodness, the squads trapped with Krell and Ki-Adi-Mundi. They never get the chance to feel valued as anything other than a tool. They may have heard the word “love” but would never be allowed to experience it, platonic or otherwise…

I don’t have any grand ending thoughts here beyond the absolute tragedy that those men suffered, but I will say, it does tempt me with some utterly angsty and beautiful thoughts for emotionally crippled clone OCs and emotionally traumatized reader OCs accidentally find each other through various whumpee ways… be a shame if someone was inspired by this and tagged me in whatever may or may no come of it...

#staycalm talks #staycalm rants #again #everything about the clones is just heartbreaking okay?#star wars #star wars rant #star wars the clone wars #the clone wars #tcw #sw tcw #emotional baggage

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merlintheactor · 3 months ago

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Yeah okay so I scrolled through the alexithmyia tag and I don’t think it has this in any recent posts. I tend to be very dynamic while explaining stuff, so I’ll try and add that to the list

So, my aspiring students, what is this thing that you’ve probably never heard of, and why am I telling you about it?

Well, first let’s explain what it is. In the broadest possible sense, alexithmyia is basically a null condition. (Such as asexual, agender, aromantic) What I mean is it’s something describing the lack of something, which in this case is emotion. Alexithmyia is the inability to describe emotions or in some cases, not even feel them properly.

Have you ever experienced things like burning rage, or butterflies in your stomach, or the coiled rope of guilt deep in your stomach, or panic in your throat?

Alexithmeics (?) don’t have that. Or some do, it’s complicated. We’ll get to it.

I’m not a professional, this is all just my (and others) lived experience but I’ve seen the condition broken down into two categories, cognitive & affective. I saw this first on the reddit community for alexithmyia but I like it so I’m yoinking it.

Mu main source for this is an article by Zoe Blade (http://notebook.zoeblade.com/Alexithymia.html). It has sources, and is generally a better breakdown than what I’m going to do. Please check it out, it’s very good.

I’m writing my own thing on tumblr because most people won’t find it on reddit, don’t use it, or just won’t click a link on a random post. Itll probably sound very similar.

Cognitive alexithmyia is basically the original definition , where people with it have a great deal of difficulty describing their emotions. Sometimes it takes time to study the emotion, or sometimes you find out what the emotion was days later. This one isn’t really my lived in experience, but I have felt it occasionally.

Affective alexithmyia is the second definition, which I am a part of (yay!). It’s the inability to feel emotions on a visceral level. The way I’ve described it before is that metaphors about emotions don’t apply to me. I have never felt burning rage, I have never felt my stomach have butterflies, only once have I felt proper guilt.

This is mainly gonna focus on the second, because it’s the one I have.

Affective alexithmyia is complicated, as is anything that describes a null. I’m going to break it down into questions. So, in my best attempt to break it down, let’s begin.

How do you experience things like emotions, then? Are you unfeeling?

Yes and no. Affective alexithmyia means you can’t really feel things on a conscious level. As said before,the whole metaphor things about emotions don’t hit me. They’re just words. I usually have to infer how I feel from my body; if I listening to music, which I do enjoy, I can feel like bopping to the music, tapping my foot to the beat, stuff like that. From that, I can infer I’m enjoying it. If I’m very snappish and rude and it’s around six pm, I can usually tell it’s because I’m either overwhelmed from work, or I haven’t ate. If I read a hateful message, or a sad one, I can simply ignore it. I don’t feel angry. I can look forward to deleting the message, but I don’t get any emotion from it itself.

This is all to say that I’m not unfeeling, usually. I can express emotions, but they don’t come out the same way as everyone else, nor am I usually aware of them. Sometimes, I can just not feel emotions. I went to my mother’s funeral, and didn’t shed a single tear, not really feel the loss. This is to say it really depends. Sometimes my emotions don’t manifest, sometimes they do. The overarching point is that alexithmiacs with the affective side of things experience things almost fundamentally different to most people.

I am basically incapable of holding a grudge. What little emotion I do feel fades quickly, like a summer storm. I can’t be angry at someone for more than like an hour, most.

Why does this matter? How does it affect things?

Well, having the condition of alexithymia can cause a hell of a lot of social problems, especially as it’s usually paired with things like autism. People don’t generally like unemotive people. They’re hard to read and understand which can lead to a harder social life, harder times relating to people, hell even parenting. I haven’t conducted any research, obviously, but there’s a chance not having a broad social life might not really matter to people with alexithmyia. It doesn’t to me, anyway.

It can also lead to internal problems, physical or emotional. Because your signals aren’t properly getting to your brain, you can have issues with feeling hunger or thirst, bowels or bladder. You’ll probably still feel the signals, but only when your body is screaming at you. I wouldn’t say this is a uniquely alexithmyia related issue as, like I said, it’s comorbid with a lot of neurodivergent conditions. This could be due to ADHD, or autism, etc. it also leads to motivational problems, at least for me. I can’t feel invested in things easily. I’m always aware that I’m reading a book, playing a game, and when it comes to being creative, it’s hard to put my pen to paper.

On an emotional level, like I said, it can cause social problems. I personally don’t experience things like most people. It can make me seem cold and unfeeling. It can also lead to a lot of questioning and mental problems, because I mean. You’re fundamentally different to your peers. That will screw you up. It’s why alexithmyia needs more study and needs to be better known.

Things like raising kids and having partners is also pretty hard, from what I’ve seen. How does one understand a kid’s emotions when you don’t experience any? Some links for parenting are here, here and here. Partner links are here, here and here.

It also matters because I, god mage of everything, decided it does. Can’t refute that, now can you!

How does one get alexithmyia? When does it affect you?

My understanding is it’s broadly a genetic thing. I have it, my dad has it. It can also apparently be caused by trauma, repressing of emotions.

Does it manifest in kids? No idea. I was a fairly bubbly kid, apparently, but that changed as I started to approach teenage hood. I assume it has something to do with signals being too weak to reach the body, similar to depression with serotonin and adhd, but I have no clue. I haven’t done detailed research.

How does this affect creativity? Are you all maths people?

No. Much like anyone else, we have a variety of jobs and desires. There are actors with alexithmyia, writers, scientists etc. no one is bound to one job because of their conditions. I am bad at maths, I like writing and acting. I know another who doesn’t really read or watch things too often but loves maths and wants to do farming.

People are unique, no matter what.

Who’s got alexithmyia in media?

Far as I’m aware? No one. No characters have my condition. I assume it’s due to a few factors.

One, this is very unknown. You can’t write something you’ve never heard about, at least not intentionally.

Two, it’s extremely difficult to write someone with an inability to feel emotions. Characters are often emotionally different. Can you imagine FitzChivalry without his rage and emotion, or Kaladin without his deep sense of honour, drive for change and depression?

I hope to one day write a story with an alexithmyic character, but it’s a long way off.

Conclusion

Alright, finished! If you have questions, send me an ask or something. I’ll try and answer.

Please note a lot of these links, all of them except for Zoe’s, are anecdotal. There are a few science links within the subreddit itself, and Zoe has a lot of sources for her stuff. I’m not going to do a research kind of post until I have a firm grasp of said research. This is merely my experience, and people who exist on reddit because that’s the only place I’ve found an alexithmyia community.

I’m also interested in hearing from creatives about this stuff, and how it affects your work. God knows it affects mine.

#alexithmyia #Alexithmyia Archives #since I might do this more often.#neurodivergence #neurodivergent #adhd #autism #and I think those are the relevant tags.#I look forward to seeing your take on this post Derin

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chrysopoeias · 8 months ago

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Not to get all emotional over your Riza as a mom post but it got my brain all churning - I saw a post recently about women choosing to break the cycle of abuse by loving their daughters and just there was this line of like, “she invented a love she never got to receive” and I just think the struggle to do that would apply so much to mom!riza (I actually only can imagine her having daughter(s) ahaha). Anyway thank you for that post!!

Yeah I think Riza will attempt that. Wether she succeeds or not is a different matter... Like explicitly I do not want Riza to turn into the archetypical ‘good mother’ that solves all her (generational) issues, simply unlocking this skill by giving birth. Where she always does exactly the right thing on instinct, and the child(ren) grow up to be the textbook definition of normal and well-adjusted.

The vast vast majority of people reproducing have absolutely no clue on child psychology and development, or how to parent in the first place. They just have their best intentions, ideas of what they will do different/the same as their own parents, and their biases and believes of what is normal.

For Riza this is intentions to do things different from her father, and her being used to military regiment/culture. Her father neglected and abused her, so her doing the opposite and loving(tm) the kid(s) can still quickly turn into her being overprotective and overbearing, or being way too strict influenced by her own military experience. And what will happen when she has depressive and PTSD episodes her whole further life? What if instead of being consistently neglecting like her dad, she is an unreliable mother in a different way. Where she cannot always be there for the children in the way they want and need for days, weeks, months?? Just being a powerless child and watching your mother suffer seemingly randomly is incredibly difficult, perhaps even more frustrating when the reason of her suffering are invisible (mental) and hard to explain. Riza just loving her children may not be enough.

I do not want it to be suffering and tragedy 24/7 in this AU timeline, but I do like to emphasis and explorer the darker and tragic sides more. Interpersonal relationships are difficult, even with your own children. I dislike when in fanon having children is treated as the ultimate reward at the end of a story after all the conflict is over. Like this is the big happy end goal, and we can all sigh in relieve as long as we know our otp reproduced and got their reward, phew. When having children is such a massive source of conflict and challenges lmfao.

But I’m just a friendless childless doodle blogger, so what do I know ヽ(；▽；)ノ

#ask #thanks anon!#in the fic that orginally inspired my interest she had a daughter but now i am attached to the two boys theo and i made up ;u;

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dallaslovebot · 4 months ago

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dallas liu for a book of us (march 2024) interview

ZUKO'S ZEAL: DALLAS LIU DELVES INTO THE FIRE NATION'S FLAME

Amidst the fiery, ever-evolving world of entertainment, it's not just the bright lights and red carpets that define a star; it's the passion, the perseverance, and the unique journeys that captivate us. Dallas Liu, with his deep roots in martial arts and a childhood immersed in the realms of action and anime, is a testament to this very ethos. From his early days executing precise martial arts moves to embodying the complex character of Prince Zuko in Netflix's much-anticipated "Avatar: The Last Airbender," Dallas's journey is a compelling narrative of dreams turned reality. His candid reflection on the role martial arts and his supportive family played in shaping his career path offers a rare glimpse into the making of a versatile actor, one who brings a disciplined focus to the craft inherited from his days on the mat.

As Dallas steps into the shoes of Zuko, he not only takes on the mantle of a beloved character but also fulfills a personal dream, marking a full-circle moment in his career. His thoughtful approach to preparation, from studying Zuko's nuances to seeking guidance from original voice actor Dante Basco, underscores a deep respect for the source material and the fanbase. Beyond the fiery intensity of his on-screen avatar, Dallas's reflections reveal a multi-dimensional artist eager to explore varied genres, from the adrenaline of action-packed sequences to the nuanced rhythms of drama and comedy. His anticipation for future projects, coupled with a heartfelt desire to contribute to the evolving narrative of Asian representation in Hollywood, positions him as a luminary in an industry on the cusp of change. Join us as we delve into the world of Dallas Liu, where martial arts discipline meets the boundless imagination of a fan turned hero, crafting a narrative that promises to inspire the next generation of dreamers and doers.

Hi Dallas! How are you doing? What are you looking forward to and excited for this year? Growing up in Los Angeles, you started martial arts at a young age, even playing young Jin Kazama in the "Tekken" film franchise at seven. How did that early experience in martial arts influence your decision to pursue acting, and do you think it gives you a unique perspective in the industry?

I am feeling quite relaxed and excited at the same time right now. Because the show is now out and we have gotten a season 2 and 3 renewal, I can now breathe. And because of the renewal, I am more than excited to go and shoot our new material! There is a lot to look forward to regarding the show, but I’m just grateful that I get to come back and work on the project. I would have to say that my early experience in martial arts influenced me to pursue acting through the support of my parents. I trusted them and knew that if I had decided that acting was something I want to pursue, they would be in full support of it. My parents put everything they had into me finding some sort of success and battled for me every single day. I was only able to do it because of them. I’m not sure that it has given a unique perspective, but I do think that I carried over a lot of the same discipline and focus that I had in martial arts over to the industry.

Your role as Prince Zuko in Netflix's "Avatar: The Last Airbender" has generated a lot of excitement. What was your initial reaction when you found out you would be playing such an iconic character, and how did you prepare for the challenges that come with bringing Zuko to life in a live-action adaptation?

I was overwhelmed with so many different emotions. Excitement and stress were definitely the two that I felt the strongest. Not only was I given the opportunity to play such an iconic character, but I was given the opportunity to play my favorite animated character of all time. There was pressure that I felt as a fan myself to bring this character to life. I did everything in my power to research as much as I could about Zuko. I studied his life, the small details other fans may have noticed about him in the series, and even his mannerisms. But one of the first things that I did was reach out to Dante Basco. I think receiving a stamp of approval from him gave me a level of confidence that I wouldn’t have been able to find alone by myself.

With the release of "Avatar: The Last Airbender,” what do you hope audiences will take away from the live-action adaptation, especially considering the beloved nature of the original animated series?

I hope that they’ve been able to appreciate it for what it is. There are obviously a few changes here and there, but I think if you’re truly a fan of Avatar, it will bring back some nice memories from your youth.

In preparing for physically demanding roles like those in "Shang-Chi" and "Avatar," what aspects of your training do you find most challenging, and how do you maintain mental and physical well-being during intense filming schedules?

In “Avatar” the training was just pure fun for me. I had spent so much time in my youth training so hard everyday at it that it feels second nature to me. If anything the stunts and the fight scenes are the easiest part of my day as long I am maintaining the strength of my body and taking care of it.

You've worked with accomplished actors such as Daniel Dae Kim, Paul Sun-Hyung, Ken Leung, and Elizabeth Yu in "Avatar: The Last Airbender." How has the collaborative process been with such a talented cast, and are there any memorable moments from the set you can share?

The collaborative process with everyone has been a core memory for me. Working with such experienced actors, breaking down scenes, and then getting to do them in front of a camera alongside those guys has given me more than I could have imagined. I learned how to navigate myself as an actor on set. I would say a memorable moment for me was working with Ken for the first time. His work as “Zhao” was unlike anything that I had ever seen before with my own eyes. He fully transformed himself into his character. I was in complete awe and shock. I hadn’t expected it at all and it showed me a completely different level of acting. It was something that I knew I wanted to emulate.

Having appeared in both Disney/Marvel's "Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings" and now "Avatar: The Last Airbender," you're deeply immersed in the world of superheroes and fantasy. Were you a fan of these genres growing up, and how do you approach the responsibility of portraying characters with such passionate fan bases?

I was a major fan of the genre growing up. I feel that I am truly getting to live my childhood dreams. I think that the responsibility of portraying characters with such passionate fan bases comes from within your heart. If you truly care, and you truly want to do a good job, then you will automatically by all means do whatever it takes to get it right.

You mentioned being a fan of anime, specifically citing "My Hero Academia." If given the chance, would you be interested in participating in a live-action adaptation of the series, and if so, which character would you find most intriguing to portray?

I don’t know anything about the live-action or when they shoot, but for me it would most definitely have to be the villain Stain. If you know the series, you know that he is arguably one of the best characters in the series.

Your background in martial arts is evident in your competition videos. Do you ever miss the competitive aspect of martial arts, and how do you feel your martial arts training contributes to your approach to action sequences in film and television?

Sometimes I do, other times I don’t. I think in every job that you take on there is some sort of competitive nature to them. My martial arts training certainly contributes to my approach in action sequences. It simply involves constant repetition and getting it perfect every single time that you practice it. This was something that had been ingrained into me by my mother.

You mentioned watching Power Rangers as a kid, which inspired your interest in martial arts. Are there specific elements from your childhood influences that you find still resonate in the roles you take on today?

“Avatar: The Last Airbender” is definitely up there for me. As well as Naruto. They all sort of shaped my childhood. I loved action as a kid.

You've successfully navigated between drama and comedy, with standout performances in "PEN15" and other projects. How do you approach the different genres, and do you have a preference for one over the other?

I think I approach them both just the same, which is just to do a good job and study up on them lol. However, I think I might be able to really separate the two approaches if I ever have to work on both at the same time. I love love love both comedy and drama because they are so different.

Your career has taken you from Macy's commercials to major film and television projects. Looking back, what has been the most surprising or unexpected aspect of your journey in the entertainment industry?

Working on “Avatar: The Last Airbender” for sure. I never thought I’d make it here today. When I was getting really close to booking the role I would break down on those nights because I knew that I was going to take a break from acting if I didn’t book it. I wanted this role desperately. After having gotten so close to booking different roles on multiple occasions, my heart was tired. I needed some time away from it. But now the show is out. Now people get to watch my work as Zuko on Netflix. It all still feels unreal sometimes.

As someone who started their professional career at a young age, what advice do you have for aspiring actors, especially those who may be balancing education with their passion for the arts?

Keep going! Keep pushing!

The representation of Asian characters and actors in the entertainment industry has been evolving. How do you perceive the progress being made, and do you feel a sense of responsibility as a trailblazer in the industry?

I see the progress being made to be great. I’m glad that Asian representation in the entertainment industry is something that is constantly being fought for. I think with every Asian in the industry there is a sense of responsibility. I am hoping to get more experience though so that I am properly able to help in the best way possible in the future.

Your journey includes a variety of roles in film, television, and commercials. Is there a specific type of project or character you haven't tackled yet that you would love to explore in the future?

I want to try everything at least once! I would love to explore and challenge myself in whatever might be out there.

With the increasing popularity of streaming services, audiences have more access to diverse content. How do you think this shift has impacted the entertainment industry, and do you see it influencing the types of projects you choose to be a part of?

I have always watched international entertainment growing up, so for me, I’m glad that the rest of the world gets to tune in a lot of the things I got to experience as a kid. I think the added content has only done more for the industry. It certainly has me wanting to do more projects if I am capable!

Looking ahead, what are your personal and professional goals for the next few years, and are there specific genres, directors, or actors you aspire to work with in the future?

I love films. So hopefully I can get more in touch with that side of the industry. I have a huge desire to write and direct my projects as well! I think I would like to work with Steven Yeun and William Dafoe in the near future if possible. To put it simply, I’m just happy to be here. I would just like to continue working.

What’s a valuable lesson that you’ve learned that you always carry with you?

Keep your head up.

If you were a book, what book would you be and why?

I would be Chainsaw Man by Tatsuki Fujimoto. It’s an amazing manga series that I love. But no real reason, I just like the art style and story.

#dallas liu #dallas liu interview #dallaslovebot #dallas liu archive #interviews #avatar the last airbender #shang chi #PEN15 #NATLA #march 2024

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trukingofskeletonhell · 1 year ago

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With that one post going around about Ferus eating sand and also maybe people, I have a few thoughts. Bear with me, It’s going to be long.

1. The general rule of thumb for how many calories a person needs is roughly 1,000 calories per 100 lbs of body mass. This isn’t taking into account things like puberty or growth spurts, or the fact that being active/having more muscle mass tends to mean you need more food because you expend more energy, or the fact the metabolic rates vary among most people. As an example, I weigh somewhere around 180lbs. I’m fairly tall, lift weights and hike with some frequency, and have a fairly normal metabolic rate. I need somewhere around 2,800-3,100 calories just to maintain my current bodyweight, mostly because I’m pretty active. My sister, who is much shorter and smaller than me, not as active, and who as far I know has a fairly average metabolic rate, probably needs something like 1,800-2,000 ish calories a day. Now, I could eat much less than the amount I do and really cut it down to about 1,800 a day for a bare minimum and my sister could go even lower. But, it would suck ass. I would have no energy for doing things, wouldn’t be able to think straight, and it would probably fuck with my emotions pretty badly. 1,800 would be the bare minimum to simply not starve for me.

Now, I’ve done some math, and based on things like square cube law and the fact that average height for a Primarch is 10′, their average weight would probably be somewhere between 900-1100 lbs, depending on their exact build. That means, at a minimum, would suck to be alive, not starving to death amount, a Primarch would need 9,000 calories worth of food a day. To put that into perspective, there are something like 290-365 calories worth of food in a normal grilled cheese sandwich. That’s something like, 20-30 of those to satisfy the bare minimum caloric needs of a Primarch for a single day, assuming you have nothing else on hand for some reason. This does not take into account the fact that they’re probably pretty active, generally just jacked, and seem to a have much higher metabolic rate than normal humans. They probably need something more like 15,000+ calories a day, even more if they’re like Magnus the Red and just happen to be fucking hugelarge.

A pound of beef is roughly 217-254 calories worth of food, with substantially more protein than a grilled cheese.There are usually between 400-600 pounds of meat on a cow, not counting the organs and bones. That’s about 86,000-130,000 calories of food, or enough to keep a Primarch fed for a bit more than a week, perhaps even more if they decide to eat the organs and bones. This amount of food is also more than enough to keep a large family fed for like, a year, or at least most of one.

What I’m saying is Primarchs need a frankly absurd/horrifying amount of food to the point where I no longer wonder why Ferus decided to eat literal sand and probably people. Dude was definitely starving. Most of them probably were. You would need to be literal royalty or at least obscenely rich in order to source enough food to feed an actively growing Primarch. Grocery bills must be insane.

2. Primarch puberty must be a horrible affair for everyone involved. When I went through puberty the first time around, I just sort of went through a really big growth spurt where it just sort of happened all at once. I grew, like a foot and half in a year. I discovered forms of hormone-fueled emotion that were previously known only to deep-sea shrimp. I was tired and hungry all the time. My literal, actual, holding-up-my-body bones hurt because they were growing so fast. I wanted to sleep almost all of the time. The rest of the time I either wanted to eat or fight things because of a combination of hormones and hunger. I did some stupid shit, as all teenagers do. I Imagine Primarch puberty is like a very, very extreme version of that. They would outgrow clothes and probably furniture by the week, if not the day. Eat an entire week’s worth of food in a single meal. Sleep for like, a week and nearly starve to death because of previously mentioned absurd caloric needs. Probably try to fight their entire neighborhood and actually win, because what in the galaxy could actually physically stop them? I can’t even imagine the stupid, hormone fueled nonsense a teenage Primarch would get up to, because again, what could stop them? You could probably use their sweat as steroids, given the probably absurd of amount of testosterone and human growth hormone flowing through their veins. It’s not unreasonable to assume that some Primarchs who came from more humble backgrounds, like Vulkan, literally outgrew their homes. Imagine you’re at a stage of physical and mental development where most people cope with stress by listening to edgy music and that happens to you. What do you even do then? You can’t go be sad in your room because you’re literally too big for it. You can’t fit inside your own house and public infrastructure is probably too small for you. How horribly alienating that must be. Not to mention the mere expense of your existence would be enough to bankrupt a small nation. It must be upsetting just being alive at that point. They probably all need so much therapy.

#warhammer 40k #40K #primarch #hammer time #the bois #thoughts

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absolutebl · 2 years ago

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Who are your top 10 actors in thai bl?? I've heard that thailand is the weakest when it comes to acting in bl so is it true??? Bcuz I've watched so many bls from thailand and the acting is not as atrocious as I've been led to believe. Or maybe it's just me🤔

Ooo, good question. I'm not going to worry over this one, jut pick a bunch off the top of my head.

My Current Top 10 Thai BL Actors

Nanon

Khaotung

Saint

Ohm

Talay

Fluke P (The Shipper)

First

Gun

Fluke N (although he's often type cast)

Perth T (his flaw is sexual chemistry)

I didn't pick anyone who I haven't seen play multiple roles.

My definition of good acting?

Those who can:

cry and smile/laugh well (so execute the full scope of emotions),

have on screen chemistry (with BL partners but also friendships, older generations, other cast members),

execute body language (not just facial expressions),

have the capacity to be somewhat of a chameleon (AKA broad range),

have no fear of being ugly on screen (the ability to put aside ego).

Under those circumstances (particularly the last two) there a many Japanese and Taiwanese actors who satisfy my particular criteria better than Thai or Korean actors .

Ones I considered listing, but am not familiar enough with their range to include:

Net

PP Krit

Ones to watch out for?

Fourth (My School President)

Santa (My Only 12%)

Noh (Nitiman)

James (Bed Friend)

Favorite Thai BL Character Actors

versatile actors amongst the BL actors

(source)

#asked and answered #thai actors #favorite actors #nanon korapat #khaotung thanawat #saint suppapong #ohm pawat #lay talay #fluke pusit #first kanaphan #gun atthaphan #fluke natouch #perth tanapon

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silvertherogue715 · 6 months ago

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Hello! How are you doing?

I wanted to focus on Slur for this ask I don’t know a lot about them( I thought they were someone’s oc originally ;-;) so I’m curious to learn about your version of them :)!

Knowing that Slur is a GVC-Navi were they treated differently than the NEC-Navis? And does this impact their attitude and their response to negative emotions and NEC-Navis in general?

Do they have a special role if any sort? I assume that Slur has a role similar to Terra’s own too as second in command but being different types of navis is their a difference in the positions each one holds?

And does being a GVC-Navi give them different abilities than any NEC-Navis might have?

I hope you have a good day/night! And thank you!

Hello lovely! I am doing well, thank you! I just returned from a trip to see my best friend graduate college. It was so much fun! How are you?

Slur is an official character from the MMBN Anime. Click their name if you’d like a direct link to the wiki! Essentially, she is a villain (somewhat major but rarely fights herself) that carries out Duo’s will. I WISH I could make as cool a villain as Slur lmao.

But for your next question:

My version of Slur is pretty similar to her anime counterpart: cold, calculating, prideful, and strong. Unfortunately, Slur does not show up much in the anime, and was not given much depth as a character, so I really only had those main characteristics to build off of.

She is more hands-on in my AU as far as combat goes, and serves a pretty crucial role in the end of Arc 2 and mid-to-late Arc 3. In my AU, anyone who works under Duo has a title of “Sentinel”. There are only 4: Slur, Rai, Lai, Moon (fusion, doesn’t count), and Minx.

Though, only 3 ever exist at a time.

—

Viren society and the concept of GVC (good-vibes/positive energy crystals) and NEC (negative energy crystals) is a concept unique to my AU, not in MMBN. I definitely took the majority of my inspiration for the civilization from translated notes, especially info on the crystals and how emotional energy could be converted into something usable. Notes on Terra were also helpful for a better understanding of Hyper Energy Crystals (HECs).

Although, HECs in my AU are like…unbiased versions of GVCs and NECs? They’re not a source of ‘good’ or ‘bad’ emotional energy, but rather a mix of all kinds. The Virens just found that it was easier (and less explosive) to figure out and mass-manufacture energy crystals pertaining to one ‘type’ of emotion over another (positive/negative). They never figured out how to create a crystal using both. An unfortunate side effect of this, however, is that as the Virens developed–with these crystals serving as both a massive source of energy and cultural identity–stigmas naturally began developed surrounding navis created to harness certain ‘types’ of energy (NECs vs GVCs). Different types of navis also held different abilities:

NEC Navis:

Negative energy makes them stronger

Can absorb and emit negative energy at will.

Helpful for easing or removing feelings of stress from individuals.

Can ebb the source. Does not exactly make you happier, though.

Too much absorption can take a toll on a Navi’s emotional state.

Can also increase feelings of stress/fear/etc, especially if the Navi themself feel emotionally unstable.

Must demonstrate strict self-control over their emotions so as to not become easily overwhelmed and risk hurting others.

Can become sick if exposed to positive energy for too long. This includes being extremely happy for long periods of time.

Can form weapons/tools/instruments with their crystal.

GVC Navis:

Positive energy makes them stronger

Can absorb and emit positive energy at will.

Helpful for giving others happy, positive feelings, but cannot take away the stressor.

Can give you something else to focus on!

Too much absorption gives them something of a high.

Needs little to no self-control training: if they’re bummed out, you don’t also get upset. If they’re super happy, so are you!

Can also drain positive energy if needed (like in cases of mania, maybe? But rarely ever happens.

Can become sick if exposed to negative energy for too long. This includes being extremely sad for long periods of time.

Can form weapons/tools/instruments with their crystal.

Originally, the roles balanced each other out. Somewhere along the way, an opinion formed that NEC navis enjoyed the pain of others. After all, someone would whisper, they were specifically made to consume ‘evil’ things, why wouldn’t they enjoy it to some degree? And then it slowly warped into “they’re made with evil”.

Which is really depressing. ESPECIALLY knowing that because NEC navis had to exhibit such strong self-control and aid others at their worst, they were some of the kindest, most empathetic individuals to exist in Viren society.

*Sidenote 1:

It is extremely dangerous for NEC Navis to become warriors/soldiers if they do not have excellent self-control: sure, they’re crazy OP in a stressful setting, but they are also prone to losing themselves in a power high if not taught otherwise.

Case in point: Mars.

Hot-headed but literally designed for battle. Extremely powerful, but lacking a support system that would have otherwise helped him keep his temper in check on the battlefield or in public. By the time Sunstar found him, joining the Stardroids was Mars’s last hope to avoid deletion.

*Sidenote 2:

There are many Viren societies. The primary one in my AU (that create Slur/Duo/Sunstar/the stardroids) travels throughout space on a comet-like ship looking to find another planet to live on. Then they find Earth! They only set up shop on Earth for a couple hundred years before everything goes south, though. The Virens have a home planet, though, and it is not Earth. Teleportation (which requires energy crystals) is a big part of travel to get to and from different locations, too.

Just assume when I refer to “Viren society” that I’m mostly referring to the individual one that sets up shop on Earth later.

—

Having now given you a small lore-drop, back to Slur!

Slur is ehh… let’s say a “puritan?” One of the navis/Virens of the opinion that negative energy is “evil,” and all NEC navis by extension. She also believes that all GVC navis are “righteous” and “good” (unless their minds have been poisoned). This includes herself, naturally, and makes her especially obnoxious to be around as Duo’s (time-justice Navi God character) second in command.

On Viren-Earth, she refused to speak with Sunstar (“that repulsive creature”) and only Terra could manage to get ahold of her. Terra is her rival, and both have a mutual hatred for the other.

“Positive energy puritans” (pep’s) or not, a lot of Viren’s subconsciously held a biased mindset towards NEC navis by the time they arrived on Earth from years of misinformation and paranoia. Notably, less NEC navis were being made in response to all the PEP hate–who wanted exclusively positive energy to power their societies–which meant there were fewer and fewer as the years went on. The main power source of all Viren civilizations is Negative Energy crystals, since they’re easier to make (negative emotions fronting easier than positive ones and all that).

So, was Slur treated differently? Yes. GVC navis were favored over NEC navis in the public eye.

This is a ton of info and I hope it’s not too overwhelming! Let me know if you’d like anything clarified!

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toomanybandstocare · 2 years ago

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{A Small Army}

Program: With requests and paperwork assignments falling from two generals, you feel overwhelmed by the lack of support to help finish the additional work. Too afraid to make another mistake, you throw yourself into your tasks unaware of the watchful eyes of those around you. If you won't ask for help yourself, then Wolffe will remind you of the people around who care and want to help. And he'll take the time to explain just how much you mean to him and how much he's willing to do for you, if you let him.

Pairing: Commander Wolffe x GN! Reader

Side Pairing Ref: Fives x OC! Kiva

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Length: 4110w

Warnings: Some swears, Overwhelming/Anxious emotions (no outright panic attack, but reader does show beginning symptoms), Petnames (Riduur, Cya'rika, Partner, Love), Reader gets pick up and carried for a little bit before being placed back on their feet

Counselor Note: I had a conversation with @twistedstitcher27 about how communication isn't typically shown in literature, and got inspired to write my own :) If you're a clone wars fan (18+ only) definitely check out their work!

Camp Resolute Masterlist

“I expected more from you,” General Plo Koon sighs as you shrink before him.

The command center hums in silence as everyone tries not to look at the two of you. Their quick glances burn into your skin as you stand before the Triumphant’s general. The thick atmosphere suffocates you.

“I- I’m, sorry, general,” you begin in a hurry. “I can make up that surveillance report in just a few moments. I can get started,” you fumble with your words as General Koon raises his hand to stop you.

“That’s quite alright,” he says. “I’m sure you have more work to keep up with, so just head back to your console. I can prepare one before the meeting quickly”. General Koon pats your shoulder with a nod as he walks past you to leave for the council meeting.

Forcing a deep breath through into your lungs, you move to your systems console. Chatter slowly grows as your fellow officers try to return the command center to its usual flow. However, the pained smiles and sympathetic looks sit heavy with you. As you sink into your seat and slowly wish it could eject you into space, a light hearted chuckle comes from just behind your shoulder.

“I know I don’t need to tell you this, but I wouldn’t take it personally,” Kiva reminds you. He rests his hip against your console desk, and he looks at you with a genuine smile.

“Glad to ever be your source of amusement, Kiva,” you huff. His teasing helps relieve some of the aching tension that rooted in your shoulders. You tear your gaze away from his, and your small smile melts as you boot up the computer systems. “Real talk?”

Kiva’s posture straightens as he looks at you in all seriousness. In a low voice he responds, “Real talk”.

“I keep mixing up the generals’ requests, and I feel like I’m losing my mind with everything stacking on top of each other,” you admit. Your fingertips dance across the keypad as your eyes flicker between Kiva and the holoscreen. “I was up all night working on the survivor assessment for General Kenobi, and I guess-,” your voice trails off as a corporal walks past you to the command console.

“You got lost with the pile of work handed off to you, and the surveillance report slipped from your mind,” Kiva concludes.

Those words hold nothing but the truth, yet they punch you in the chest. Only able to nod your head, you pull up your schedule and task list to cross reference the day’s priorities.

“I just don’t understand why General Kenobi hasn’t been assigned a new civilian officer yet,” Kiva ponders. He grabs the empty chair from the next console over to join you at your station. “Have you mentioned this to Wolffe at all,” he gently asks as he leans on the chair arm. His words become even quieter as he refers to the Commander.

You shoot him an annoyed look before continuing on with the report on Felucia’s ecosystem. “Why would I need to share this with the commander,” your cool voice rings clear with your opinion on the matter. “I’m more than capable of handling some paperwork”.

“Clearly,” Kiva laughs, “Since you keep getting piled up with shitloads everyday, because you’re still worried about proving your keep. Just give me some. I don’t have much going on today, and I know you’re overwhelmed with all of this”.

Before you can open your mouth to protest, Kiva rolls his chair to bump you out of his way. His hands fly across the keypad, and what seems like only a few parsecs laters, the comm signal beeps from his console.

Putting his elbow on your console, he rests his head against his palm as he turns to face you with a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Now, we can talk about why you don’t want to tell Wolffe what’s going on,” he pushes.

A sting of guilt prickles in your chest. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell him,” you softly admit. “I just don’t want to add to his worries. Felucia is not looking like an easy operation, and he’s been pulled into almost every mission even if it’s under the 212th or 501st’s lead. He has so much more pressing concerns going on, and I don’t want to add to it when we manage a moment alone”. You pull yourself back to your console system and bump Kiva out of the way as you pull up the task list once more. “What did you send over to yourself?”

Kiva sighs beside you, “Community rehabilitation. Just promise you won’t hide this from Wolffe?”

You hum, not giving a definitive answer. The holoscreen has your complete attention as your work on analyzing the ecosystem’s terrain. Determined to make up for your mistakes, you press on throughout the day. When your commanding officers ask for a check, you provide one with minimal delay. Once the council meeting has ended, you immediately put together a tentative schematic based on their decision, and you have it pulled up on the main holopad by the time the generals and commanders return to the deck. Throwing yourself into your work, you hardly notice the late hour from your chronometer or how most of the other officers have gone off to the mess hall for dinner.

“Hey, you coming?,” the corporal of the 104th calls over to you. Comet sends you an inviting smile, and you can only return a tired smile when you shake your head. “Come on,” he beckons you with a wave of his arm, “I don’t think I’ve seen you leave the deck all day. You need to take care of yourself, you know”.

“I’ll be there in a bit, corporal,” you compromise. Your words start to slur together, and you have to blink away the dryness across your eyes.

“How many times do I have to tell you, call me Comet,” he shoots a teasing smile that doesn’t last long. Comet’s concerned eyes take you in. Your body leans the console for support. Watery eyes cause you to flinch when you blink. Multiple water bottles and snack kits on the ground beside your station. “Just,” he hesitates, “don’t wait too long, alright? The food may be shitty, but it’s something. Join us when you finish up”.

Comet waits for your hum of acknowledgement, and only leaves after he watches you fall back into your databases.

“Come on, Comet,” Sinker says under his breath. He pulls Comet away from your hunched figure. “At this rate, the candle is burning at both ends. We’ll give Wolffe a heads up, but there’s not much more that we can do”.

“I’m this close,” Boost hisses and holds up his thumb and pointer finger barely touching each other between the three of them. The bay doors slide behind them, and their footsteps echo against the corridor. “This close from having Fives tell Kiva to intercept and send half that extra work to me. Just because the 212th is short handed with civilian relief doesn't mean they can dump it all on our civvie”.

It doesn’t take very long for the troopers to reach the mess hall as the corridors lack their usual traffic. Second shift has already begun to take over their posts, and most of the first shift have found their spot in the mess hall. An unspoken understanding drives the three men to search for their leader before finding a place in line for the evening’s dinner options.

There sitting cross-armed at the unofficial CO table, Wolffe watches in disinterest as Commander Cody and Captain Rex argue over which of their men would reach Arc Trooper rank next. This conversation would be somewhat bearable if his riduur was nearby. Usually chatting away with the 501st’s civilian relief officer, he finds a sense of comfort when you’re nearby. His eyes scan the mess hall as a few more groups trickle in, but disappointment only greets him at the door each time. However, the sight of three of his men walking straight to his table makes him straighten up. If it’s about the shiny who keeps starting fights with the 212th’s batch, he wants nothing to do with it.

“Commanders, Captain,” Sinker greets the officers as the three of them approach the table.

Each of the commanding officers take them in with wary eyes. Used to the trouble that their men tend to find themselves in, each dreads what the sergeant’s report will reveal.

“Sinker, Boost, Comet,” Wolffe acknowledges his men, “what is it this time? Colt starting shit he can follow through with?” With a sigh Wolffe begins to stand from his untouched meal.

“Surprisingly not,” Boost stops Wolffe before he can grab his helmet.

Wolffe looks at his men with a cautious gaze. If it wasn’t the shinies acting up, then it’s something far more serious. He slowly sits back down and looks between each trooper. All of whom shift as his eyes move from one trooper to the next. “Who’s in trouble then?” Wolffe asks.

“It would actually be our civilian officer, it seems,” Comet steps forward and meets Wolffe's cold expression. “As the 212th has recently lost their civilian relief officer, General Kenobi has handed off their previous assignments to our’s. From what I’ve been able to observe today and what I’ve overheard from Kiva and other deck officers, our civvie is overwhelmed with the sudden increase of two battalion’s worth of work”.

When you became the topic of discussion, Wolffe’s body froze as worry seeped through his plastoid armor through his skin and into his bones. Everything seemed okay from when the two of you caught up the other night. He tilts his head as he processes the corporal’s words. What is he missing?

“He shouldn’t be doing that though. Regardless of the deployment timeline, we still have enough of a grace period to wait for our new civvie officer,” Cody fills in for Wolffe. Turning to face his brother, Cody sees Wolffe fall further into himself. “Wolffe, why don’t you go check on your officer? I’ll speak with General Kenobi and remind him to split the work between the two relief officers or wait for our new civvie to arrive,” Cody calls out.

Without delay, Wolffe stands up and grabs his helmet. His body moves without thought, and Wolffe’s mind focuses on getting to you. “Thank you for letting us know of the situation,” Wolffe stiffly nods at his squad mates.

All five men watch him quickly walk through the throngs of people and exit the mess hall. They exchange glances before chuckling lightly. This relationship had to be the worst open secret of the GAR.

If anyone thought it odd to see Wolffe so uncollected, no one said a word when he marched past them. His heart races as his boots pound against the metal tiling. Why didn’t he notice you were overwhelmed? A pang falters his heartbeat, and Wolffe sucks in a quick breath. How did he fail you so badly? Practically slamming the holopad, Wolffe hurries through the deck doors just as they open.

“Cya’rika,” Wolffe pants. Desperation crawls up his throat and clings onto his words as he searches the deck. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up as silence blankets over the deck once more.

“Wolffe?” a tired mumble calls from the officers’ consoles.

Wolffe practically throws himself down the stairs and through the scattered chairs in his path. His footsteps fall short when he reaches you. “Love,” Wolffe trails off.

Barely able to keep your eyes open, you peer up at your riduur. You don’t know how long after Comet left that you drifted off to sleep. More report requests filled your inbox and a sudden desire to just stop overcame you. Your body gradually sank onto your console, and the thought of doing anything caused your chest to seize.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at dinner?” you mumble and rub your eyes. When you open your eyes again, Wolffe’s placing his helmet on the console near him as he moves closer to you. His warm eyes take you in with a concerned expression.

“I was, but a few pups told me that my cya’rika feels overwhelmed,” he slowly explains. Wolffe kneels by your side and rests his hands on the tops of your thighs.

Embarrassment burns your cheeks, and you can’t help but try to hide in your arms to avoid his gaze. Comet.

“Hey, hey,” Wolffe gently pulls your arms away and holds your face in his hands. The pads of his gloves softly graze your cheeks as he stares up with complete adoration. “What’s wrong, hm? Talk to me,” he quietly pleads.

The deck hums in anticipation as you try to form your explanation, but no words come to you. Your sight becomes blurry as tears burn your lash line. Opening your mouth, a lump forms in your throat and it constricts your airway. “I’m sorry,” you wheeze.

“None of that now. Let’s get you to bed,” Wolffe’s voice soothes your brewing anxiety.

“I still have-,” you quickly try to push on with your work. A wave of nerves rushes through you.

“Cya’rika, please,” Wolffe firmly stops you. He pulls your face to his, and he rests his forehead against yours. “We can figure this out together. I am here for you, and I want to support you. But I can only do that if you allow me,” he deep rumbles. Those words fill with tenderness as his lips invite you to fall into his hold.

“I didn’t want to bother you,” you choke on a sob.

“You are never a bother,” he states. Wolffe’s hold on your face tightens only slightly. “You hear me? Never a bother. I love you, and I adore everything about being with you. That means the celebrations and strife of life”.

“I know, but-,” you pause. Biting on your lower lip, you focus your gaze down to your lap.

Wolffe waits patiently. The familiar feeling of dread and anxiety from war often nips at the back of his mind. He rubs small circles across your cheeks as he keeps an eye on you. “I’m here,” Wolffe whispers, “I’m here for you”.

“I didn’t want to add to your stress,” you admit. “I know that you’ve had to work with more battalions and join them for additional missions. Each time your ship requests permission to dock, I run down to the hanger just to make sure you’ve come back. Each time you step off that ship looking more worn down than the last time. So for the few moments we can spend together, I just want to enjoy our time and make sure you have a moment of peace”.

When you pull your eyes to meet Wolffe’s gaze, he greets you with the softest smile that causes a flurry of butterflies to tickle your stomach. Your chest rises and falls heavy as you wait for his response. The faint signals and hissing from the deck fill the silence, but the air feels less thick between the two of you.

“Mesh’la,” Wolffe sighs and pulls you into a tight embrace to rest his head against your midsection. His breath fans across your stomach as he peers up at you. Small wrinkles crease at the corner of his eyes as they look at you in warm regard. He takes ahold of your wringing hands in one of his own, and he unlocks them to weave his fingers with yours. “I suppose we need to work on communicating our needs to each other, hm,” Wolffe hums and trails his other hand up your side. Ripples of soothing tingles spread where his fingers drag across your uniform.

“You’d think with such close quarters, we’d be in sync at this point,” you let out a relieved chuckle.

“May I share my perspective, or would you prefer we wait until you’ve gotten some rest?” Wolffe asks. Without breaking eye contact with you, he moves your hand to press a flurry of small kisses.

His lips pause at each of your knuckles, and he carefully rubs your overworked fingers. The tender care causes a sigh to slip from your lips. Your shoulders relax as you watch your riduur with an adoring expression. Wolffe holds your hand up to leave featherlight kisses on the tips of your fingers.

Neither of you rush to carry on your conversation as Wolffe presses one more kiss to the palm of your hand. Then his lips trail to your wrist with a wicked glint in his eye. He nips at the soft skin quickly and beams from your laughter. His deep rumble joins you, and your carefree expressions only calm down when you hold his cheek in your hand.

“Do you have time now?” you ask. A spark of hope soothes the jittering residual nerves from the day.

“For you? I will always make time,” Wolffe squeezes your hand that cradles his face and rubs small circles on your thigh with his other.

Your smile falters, “That’s what I’m worried about”.

“I,” Wolffe pauses. His eyes flicker across your face as he thinks about the best way to properly convey his emotions. Never having the freedom to share his feelings with another in fear of heartbreak, Wolffe wants to prove his trust in you and foster your trust in him. “I have alway wanted to experience a love where I know my partner, my hopeful riduur, becomes my safe haven. A person who I can trust with my mind, body, and soul,” Wolffe slowly explains. Tearing away his gaze, Wolffe pulls your hands together and rubs his thumbs across your knuckles.

“That’s all I ever want to be for you,” you nod your head for him to continue. Eyebrows creased as you take in his sudden change in demeanor.

“And you are,” Wolffe says and squeezes your hands, “You are my everything. The only person I want to see after a long day, because I know my concerns will be heard. My partner who stays up in the late hours of the night just to spend time with me, because my shifts end later than yours. The love of my life who makes my heart swell when I see you hiding at the hanger doors when I come back from a mission,” he shares and shoots you a knowing smile.

“I thought you didn’t notice,” you bashfully confide.

“I will always notice you,” Wolffe holds your gaze, “I search for you in every room I enter, and I only rest easy when I see you close by. I imagine you when we’re away, because picturing you smiling, safe and sound, keeps me going as blasters echo around me. Remembering how stunning you looked on our first date to the observatory, I know I have a person worth fighting for to come home when I constantly question my worth and dispensability. I have a person who sees me as who I am and loves me for the man I am as well as the man I wish to be. When I picture my riduur, I am greeted by visions of you”.

Neither of you know who shed the first tear, but you are the first to pull your hand away from his to gently wipe his tearstained face.

“You mean everything to me, cya’rika. I want to cherish and devote myself to you as you deserve in your partner,” Wolffe’s voice thick with need. A need for you to understand just how much he is willing to do for you if you allow him. He awaits for your word, your permission, to love you so deeply and care for you how he so desperately wants to. “I will only ever do my best to love you wholeheartedly and take care of you. Mind, body, and soul. But I can only do that if you allow me. Please, I want to be with you if you will have me by your side”.

You open your mouth to respond, but Wolffe beats you with a knowing look, “And don’t apologize”.

The two of you erupt into laughter mixed with sniffles and sobs. Steady hands pull you off your station chair, and you find yourself pressing your face into the crook of Wolffe’s neck while settling on his thighs.

“How are you doing?” Wolffe hums. His arms hold you tight to his chest, and he tucks your head underneath his chin.

“I’m exhausted,” you exhale. The weight of the day and emotional whirlwind brewing inside you suddenly dissipates. Fatigue settles in your bones as you pull yourself closer to your riduur.

“Then I think it’s time for some rest,” Wolffe grunts and lifts both of you up from where he kneels. His arms cradle you to him as he moves the two of you away from your console system.

Tucking your legs around his waist, Wolffe nudges your head with his chin before asking, “Grab that for me?”

Leaning away from him, you quickly grasp his helmet in one hand and pull yourself back into his embrace. Your arms drape around his neck as your cheeks warm. “You don’t have to carry me the whole way,” you point out. The idea of the entire GAR seeing the two of you like this makes you feel dizzy.

“Would you like me to put you down?” Wolffe sincerely asks.

“Please,” you nod.

With one word, Wolffe pauses just before the deck entrance to help you unwrap yourself from his hold. His hand steadies you at the waist when your footing wobbles. Looking at Wolffe, your smile blooms into a beaming expression of appreciation.

“Thank you,” you say and press a chaste kiss to his jaw.

“Anything for you,” Wolffe returns. He takes his hand from your waist and offers it to you. When you take his hand, Wolffe walks with you through the entrance and into the corridor. He leads you past the civilian wing, and your heart flutters knowing you get to spend the night in the arms of your lover. “Cody’s going to speak with General Kenobi, but in the meantime, cya’rika, please send some of the additional work to Kiva. We were all worried today after we had realized the load of osik you were dealing with. You have a small army in your corner who has your back. Remember that, alright?” Wolffe squeezes your hand.

“I won’t forget it,” you squeeze his hand in return with a chuckle, “Especially now that I know I have your pups, the 501st troublemakers, and the 212th jokers keeping an eye out for me”.

Wolffe barks a laugh as he uses his free hand to punch in his room’s passcode, and when the door hisses open, he waves his arm in front to invite you in.

The moment you step foot into his room for the first time in what feels like eternity, you take in the space. Hardly anything has changed as your eyes flitter from his bed to his lock box, but what you see on his desk makes you pause. Sitting beside a pile of schematics and datapads dangling off balance from the other objects that take up space, you find a hologram display set neatly into the corner away from the chaos. Every few seconds, a new image of you or the two of you shuffles onto display and ignites more sparks within your heart.

After you place his helmet on top of his chair, you tear your eyes away from the display and find Wolffe taking off his armor beside his bed. No matter where either of you are in the galaxy or how overwhelming life may be in a moment, you have each other to rely on.

Wolffe straightens up to face you, but his head tilts to the side at the sight of your watery smile. “What’re you thinking,” he asks as he takes slow steps towards you.

“I’m just happy to be home,” you say and take him into your arms. One of his hands rests on the back of your head while the other wraps around you.

Wolffe’s chuckle vibrates against your chest when he says, “It’s not what I have imagined for our home in the future, but for now I am more than glad to share it with you. What’s mine is yours”.

“I’m home when I’m with you,” you mumble against his chest.

Wolfee presses a kiss to the crown of your head, “Welcome home, riduur”.

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