#I’m better than I thought I’d be though | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nelle-y · 2 days ago

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A love story told through voicelines (V)

C/W: slow-burn, Diluc x gn!reader, reader works at the flower shop in Mondstadt, fluff, shorter than the rest but that’s because it’s the end

Note: The story comes to a close! Thank you all so much for your support, I couldn’t have done it without you guys🫶🏻 If you have some ideas for other fics, feel free to leave a request in my inbox! (Part 1) (Part 4)

(You) About Diluc: Reflections

I’ve been thinking a lot about our fight. I don’t know if it was the heat of the moment or my own pride, but I said things I shouldn’t have. I called him stubborn, like his concern for me was some kind of flaw. He didn’t deserve that!

But when he called me reckless… it stung. I wanted to defend myself, to tell him I could handle it, but deep down, I knew he was right. I was reckless. I got hurt because I wasn’t careful, and instead of thanking him for worrying about me, I threw it back in his face.

I know he was just trying to protect me. That’s who he is—he takes on the weight of the world, and I made it even heavier with my words. I was so caught up in proving I didn’t need him hovering over me that I forgot how much he cares.

If I could go back, I’d say something different. Or maybe… I’d just listen. He didn’t deserve my anger. He deserved better.

(Diluc) About you: Reflections

My thoughts are quite repetitive when it comes to them, and maybe that’s how I drove them away—by caring more about their safety instead of them. I didn’t mean to hurt them, but seeing the scar on their arm reminds me of how much I could lose with one careless act. It was unbearable. And I let that fear dictate my words.

I know I can be overbearing. They’ve told me before that I control too much, and that I was… incredibly stubborn. Maybe they’re right. I wanted to protect them, but I didn’t stop to think about how they felt, what they needed from me in that moment. I acted as if I knew best, and in doing so, I ignored the trust we’ve built.

If I could go back, I’d handle it differently. I’d find the right words, words that wouldn’t hurt them. But now… all I can do is hope I haven’t broken something I can’t repair.

(You) About work

I’ve been trying to get back into the rhythm of working at Flora’s shop, but… it feels strange. The flowers are the same, the customers are the same, but something feels off. Maybe it’s me. Or maybe it’s the weight of everything that happened at the manor. I keep catching myself glancing toward the road leading to Angel’s Share, wondering if he’s okay, or if… he even cares.

*sigh* I need to focus. These asters aren’t going to arrange themselves.

(Diluc) About you: From afar

I passed by Flora’s shop today, and I saw them working as usual, but… quieter. Seeing them brought it all back—those quiet moments at the winery, their laughter, the way they always managed to surprise me. It’s unbearable, how much I miss them.

I almost stepped in, but quickly retreated. What would I even say? “I’m sorry”? Would that even matter by now? I’m sure they’re mad at me—maybe furious. And I’m sure… if I could change anything, I would change even the night I resigned from my position as Cavalry Captain if it meant bringing them back.

(You) About Diluc: Finally aware

I saw him today, you know. Well, not saw as in meet with—he just passed by. He didn’t come in; though strangely, I took a step in his direction. Out of habit, I suppose. I don’t think he noticed me… and why would he? After everything… Ugh! Why am I still dwelling on it? It’s not like I’m waiting for him or anything.

He’s just so… stuck. In my mind. I keep hoping to see him, even just for a moment. I miss eating with him, and trying to make him laugh. I miss the flowers that we took care of in the winery. I miss Adelinde.

I miss him…

And it’s infuriating, because I was the one who left. I needed space. I chose to leave the winery because it felt like too much. So why? Why does he linger like this? Why does every passing memory of him feel so sharp, so close, like it was yesterday?

I don’t know what this is. I thought leaving would bring me peace, but it’s only made me realize how deeply he’s rooted in me. I don’t know if I can ever let him go, even if I should.

…Could it be? Could this feeling—this aching pull—be love?

No… not could. It is. I love him.

(Diluc) About you: Finally aware

I need your thoughts on something. It’s… rather personal. For some time now, I’ve found myself increasingly distracted by them—always thinking about their safety, their well-being, even their smallest habits. Every little thing they do seems to pull at my attention. At first, I dismissed it as concern, but it’s different—stronger.

When I spoke to Adelinde about it, she said it sounded like love. Love. I… I don’t know what to make of that. But the more I think about it, the more everything starts to make sense—why I can’t stand the thought of them being hurt, why their smile lingers in my mind long after they’re gone.

I’ve even gone as far as to read about it in novels from Inazuma, though I’ll admit most of them are overly dramatic. Still… I couldn’t help but see myself in the pages. And now I can’t ignore it anymore.

This is love, isn’t it? I can’t believe it took me so long to realize. But… it’s oddly comforting, too, to finally understand why I feel this way. It all feels clearer now.

… I can’t let it end like this. I’ll speak to them, no matter what it takes.

(You and Diluc) Character story: Confessions

The day was drawing to a close, and the horizon burned with hues of amber and crimson as the sun dipped below the mountains. The world seemed to hold its breath, waiting.

They didn’t know why they were running—only that their feet carried them forward. Wind gracing their hair, tugging at their clothes, and each breath coming quick and sharp with the patter of their feet. Were they running to the winery? They haven’t really thought about it. They were just chasing the closest thing that felt like home.

Inside the manor, Diluc sat at his desk, quill hovering over an unfinished report. He’d been staring at the same sentence for far too long, his mind elsewhere. His eyes kept straying to the lamp grass resting in a small vase—“For when nights are long, and the weight feels heavy—may these remind you that you’re not alone.”

In a breath, the quill laid flat on his desk, ink leaving a stain that may or may not come off. He didn’t care, though—he had other business to attend to. One that could change his life, for better or for worse.

As he ran, he thought of what to say. He’d gone over the words a dozen times in his head, but nothing ever seemed quite right. Every thought felt too small, too simple to convey the storm of emotions swirling inside him.

The crimson sky had turned to blue, stars slowly forming like the constellations they once had. They both remembered that night—their head on his shoulder with only nature to accompany them, silent, and sanctified.

The moon hung low in the sky by the time they crossed paths on the dirt road. Neither had planned for this exact moment, yet it felt inevitable, as if fate itself had intervened.

They stopped a few paces apart, both breathless—Diluc from his hurried strides, and them from their sprint. For a moment, neither spoke. The quiet hum of the wind wrapped around them, heavy with all the words they hadn’t yet said.

“I…” they muttered, but their voice caught. After a breath or two, they spoke again: “I didn’t think I’d run into you.”

“I could say the same.” Diluc’s eyes softened as the faintest hint of a smile tugged at his lips. “Though… perhaps I hoped for it.”

Their breath hitched at his words, and they looked away, unsure of what to say. They hadn’t expected this—hadn’t pictured him to be so calm, so open. The reality of seeing him here, in the flesh, was almost overwhelming.

“I don’t even know why I came,” they confessed, voice trembling. “I just… I missed—“ they hesitated admitting they missed him. It terrified them—how one word could strip away everything they’d worked so hard to hide, yet hold the power to give them everything they wanted.

They swallowed hard, the silence between them growing heavier, and tried again. “I missed… the winery. Adelinde. The flowers. The peace of it all.”

But the lie tasted bitter, and they knew he saw through it. Diluc waited, silent and patient, as though he knew the truth would come, in time.

“I missed you,” they finally whispered, their voice breaking. The confession escaped before they could stop it, leaving them vulnerable and exposed. Their heart raced, the fear of rejection and relief of honesty crashing into each other.

“I’m sorry…” they added, one reckless word after the other. “For being so careless, for not understanding that you were only trying to protect me—for everything.

“I thought I did the right thing, leaving the manor. I told myself I needed space. But since then, all I can think about was you. I couldn’t stop looking forward to our lunch dates, to the moments you’d pass by the flower shop, to even catching a glimpse of that slight smirk of yours.

“And it’s all so infuriating,” they continued, voice gaining strength, yet still trembling with frustration and longing. “Because I look at you with that unreadable expression of yours, and it’s like you don’t care. You’re always so calm, so distant, like nothing ever fazes you. It’s maddening!

“Even when we were together, it was the same. You always tried to shoulder everything alone, hiding behind that stoic exterior. I could never tell if you were trying to protect me or push me away. And now…” Their voice wavered, and they dropped their gaze, overwhelmed by the torrent of emotions spilling out. “Now, I don’t even know if you missed me at all. Or if I was just someone you had to look after.”

They hadn’t noticed how Diluc closed the gap between them until they felt a gloved hand caress their hair. “I cared.” They looked up at him with a somber expression. “More than I should. And I still do.” Diluc’s eyes had changed. The unreadable mask they had always found so frustrating had slipped, replaced by something raw and vulnerable.

“I tried to convince myself it was better this way,” he continued, his voice low but steady. “That keeping my distance would protect you—from the burdens I carry, and the dangers that follow me. And though I wasn’t completely wrong,” he put attention to your scarred arm. “Pushing you away felt worse. For both of us.”

He hesitated, his thumb brushing against their cheek as if grounding himself. “You were never just someone I had to look after. You are… everything I’ve been too afraid to lose. I thought keeping my feelings buried would keep you safe, but all it did was drive you away.”

His voice softened further, but the intensity of his words only grew. “I can’t bury it anymore. I won’t.”

Their breath hitched, tears pooling in their eyes as he stepped closer, his other hand reaching to gently hold theirs. His grip was firm, steady, and yet full of care—just like him.

“You have undone me completely,” he said, his voice shaking with the weight of his emotions, “and I have no desire to be put back together.”

The confession hung in the air, raw and profound, and the sincerity in his eyes left no room for doubt. In that moment, the barriers between them shattered, replaced by a warmth that enveloped them both.

Tears slipped down their cheeks, but they smiled through them, their heart full for the first time in what felt like forever. “I’ve been undone, too,” they whispered, fragile yet filled with hope. “And I don’t want to be whole without you.”

The stars above, as well as the wind, bore witness as they stood there, hands entwined, finally allowing their hearts to speak what had been unsaid for far too long.

—end—

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #diluc x reader #genshin impact x reader #diluc ragnvindr #diluc fluff

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marlynnofmany · 3 days ago

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At Home in the Mud

“Hey Wio, does your hover stool work over mud?” I asked from the door to the cockpit.

“Not deep mud,” Wio said, glancing at me with her tentacles at work on the controls. “The sensors feel for solid ground.”

“Dang.” I sighed. “Guess I’m stuck with cleaning the exo suit after this delivery.”

“Yeah, sorry,” she said. “There are fresh batteries for the gravity wands, at least. Shouldn’t take you too long.”

Zhee stalked past me, his many bug feet clicking in what was probably irritation. He didn’t say anything, and neither did I, at least until he was out of earshot in the direction of the cargo bay.

I whispered to Wio, “And at least I only have two legs to clean.”

“Good point,” she agreed. “Best of luck!”

I thanked her and headed off after Zhee to where the exo suits waited. He had a head start in getting his on, which he needed. I tried not to draw attention to how easily I tugged mine on over my regular clothes (minus the shoes). Zhee didn’t even take the opportunity to make fun of my need for footwear; he seemed determined to get this delivery over with as quickly as possible.

He said, “Be sure to hold on to the hoversled so you don’t fall and slow us down.”

“Sure thing,” I agreed. I’d planned to keep a solid grip anyway. Hopefully this mud wasn’t the foot-sucking kind.

The ship landed gently — or rather, arrived. There was no landing pad close enough to our client’s location, at least none above the mud at this time of year, so Wio held the ship just above the surface on stable thrusters. The ramp nearly touched the mud.

Captain Sunlight had come in to see us off, and she stood to the side as we hustled down the ramp. “Be quick but careful!” she told us.

Zhee replied, “That’s the plan.”

I freed a hand to wave, then grabbed the edge of our most reliable hoversled. I would have liked to ride on it next to the cases of medical supplies (low priority, not urgent, thankfully), but that wouldn’t have been fair to Zhee. So I did my share of pushing and stepped cautiously into the mud.

Whew, I thought. More watery than thick. I can walk in this. And it was cold, but the exo suit did a decent job of insulating for temperature. I took in the sights more confidently, appreciating the fuzzy moss on all the trees, and the intricate shapes that the bushes grew in. It didn’t quite look like an Earth swamp, but it didn’t look hostile, and that was all I could ask for, really.

Behind us, the ship closed the bay door and lifted up to a more comfortable height to wait. Zhee, with a better view of the screen on the front of the sled, pointed with a pincher arm. We changed direction slightly and trudged through the mud.

The depth changed a few times in quick succession, going from ankle deep to above the knee and back. I did my best to maintain a careful speed, though it was tricky since I couldn’t see the bottom. Zhee seemed to be doing fine. I held onto the sled and took long strides, feeling the way with one foot before trusting my weight to it. Thicker lumps and rocks lurked along the uneven ground. I focused on stepping between them without losing my balance, trusting Zhee to keep us on track.

“Scenic,” I commented to break the monotony of silence and my own breathing inside the helmet.

“Wet,” Zhee replied.

“Scenic and wet.” I glanced up at the mossy trees, then back down at the watery mud. Muddy water? Somewhere in between. “Not the easiest place to walk, though.”

“The captain could have chosen Blip and Blop for this delivery,” Zhee griped. “But no, they’re busy helping Eggskin prepare some complicated food.”

“And Paint wouldn’t be up for this temperature,” I said as I stepped into deeper water that chilled me to my thighs. “Or this depth, really.”

“Paint misses out on a lot of unpleasant environments. Lucky.”

I looked over at him across the pile of strapped-down cases. “Only because she’d pass out and die if she got too cold. I don’t know if I’d call that lucky.”

Zhee tapped an antenna against the inside of his helmet. “Bah. Today, she’s lucky to be coldblooded. We’re stuck with this instead.”

I mentally ran down the roster of our other crewmates. Some of them, like Wio, had other jobs to be doing. “I suppose Mur wouldn’t have an easy time in something this deep either.” I didn’t even know if he could swim. Looking like a squid didn’t necessarily translate.

“No one is likely to have an easy time in this,” Zhee said, shaking a foreleg and splattering watery mud across a tree trunk. “I can’t imagine why the client chose to live here.”

“Maybe they like mud,” I said, trying to watch my feet even though I couldn’t see them.

“They are welcome to it. I look forward to getting back to the ship.”

I was in agreement about that. The info summary about this location had said it was the wet season (Really? Shocking) and that the regular roadways were unavailable. I was under the impression that there was a town somewhere nearby, or at least other people than just the one, but all I could see was endless swamp.

With rocks and the occasional tree root just waiting to trip me. I focused on stepping carefully and trying not to slow our progress.

Concentrating as I was, I didn’t realize we’d arrived until Zhee tugged the sled to the side. I looked up to find the first dry ground I’d seen rising out of the mud into a walkway of flat paving stones. A round stone house perched at the top of the rise.

We slogged up to leave an interesting set of footprints along the walkway: my left/right muddy bootprints and Zhee’s collection of much smaller splats. With the hoversled between us, it looked like this house was getting two visitors interested in staying as far away from each other as possible, instead of a single delivery.

When we got close, a chorus of tiny squeaks started up. I located the source: a small cage hanging beside the door, which held a handful of cricket-sized whatevers. While Zhee found what passed for a doorbell, I took a surreptitious look. They were small and blobby, not mini near-cousins of his, which was definitely for the best.

“Delivery!” Zhee announced while a chime jangled.

Various bumps and a muffled voice sounded from inside, then our avian client opened the door eagerly. “Thank you for coming!” he said in the same trade language we were using, just with the distinct quackity overtones of his particular species. His dark feathers were flecked with white and he kept his arms folded as if they were wings. He said earnestly, “I hope it wasn’t too long of a walk.”

“It was fine,” Zhee said. “Would you like your packages unloaded right here?”

“Oh! Ahmm…” the ducky fellow looked indecisively between the stack of boxes, the paving stones, and the indoors.

I said, “We could carry them in for you, but we’d track in a bit of mud.” The sled was much too wide to fit through the door.

“That’s all right; I’ll move them,” he decided. “Out here is fine. Now where should I—? Yes, thank you.” He took the payment screen from Zhee and signed for the delivery while I undid the straps holding everything down. We didn’t always bother with those, but I was starting to think we should. If I’d managed to trip and knock a box into the mud, that would have been an embarrassing bad mark on our record.

While we unloaded the boxes, those little whatsits serenaded us with a fresh chorus of squeaky chirps. It reminded me of tame finches with just a touch of guinea pig. I wondered if this was the local version of a windchime or something else.

The client saw me staring and said, “My dear little Cozy went missing, and these are his favorite food. I’m hoping to lure him back. You haven’t seen him, have you? A young cuddlebeast about this big, with a white stripe on his head?” He held clawed hands a few inches apart.

“Sorry, no,” I said with a look at Zhee. “I didn’t see any beasts at all. Did you?”

“No,” Zhee agreed. “Just mud.”

The client ruffled his feathers in a way I didn’t know how to read; maybe he was embarrassed. “They did tell me he’s suited to living in this environment, and he might not return if I let him out, but I haven’t given up hope. My home is nice and warm, after all.”

“We’ll keep an eye out on the walk back,” I told him. “Does he come when he’s called?”

“He always did when he was inside the house,” the guy said. “Cozy! Cozyyy!” He waited for a moment, then looked down. “He loves his cuddles. I hope nothing bad has happened to him.”

Zhee set down the last box. “You’ve done what you can,” he assured the client, sounding like he might have even meant it.

“I suppose so.” The ducky guy looked sad for a moment, then rallied. “Well, thank you again! I don’t want to keep you. Safe travels!”

We bid him goodbye and headed back down into the mud, with me waving goodbye and Zhee trying to make good time. The client went back into his house and I focused on taking long strides again.

We went slightly to the side of the route we’d taken before. The mud was much lumpier here, with herds of round rocks that rolled around and made the footing treacherous. Despite my death grip on the sled, I was nearly swimming at a couple points in an effort to keep up. The muddy water was deep enough to swim in, but not consistently so, otherwise I might have given up and started paddling.

I had just decided to ask Zhee to slow down when I lost my footing completely and went under, holding my breath in panic before I remembered the exo suit covered my head. I got my feet under me by kicking lumps out of the way and I stood in the waist-high mud, wiping futilely at the dirty face mask.

Zhee sighed audibly and stopped walking. “Really?”

“It’s hard to find somewhere solid to step!” I exclaimed. “There are rocks and lumps of mud everywhere!” I scooped one up to prove my point, ending up with what looked like a potato. “Huh. That’s too light to be a rock. Tuber?”

“Fascinating,” Zhee said drily.

“It reminds me of an Earth food, but those don’t grow in swamps,” I said, giving it a closer look.

“Do not bring it back to the ship for eating,” Zhee said sternly.

“I wasn’t going to!” I protested.

“Good. It’s probably horribly smelly and liable to poison half the crew.”

I started to protest more, just on principle, then the potato opened an eye and I dropped it. “Ah!”

“What?”

“It’s a creature!” I shuffled in place, feeling more potato-like shapes bump against my ankles in the cold watery mud. “Are these all animals??”

“Ugh,” Zhee declared, lifting a couple exo suited legs out of the murk on his side of the hoversled. “What an unpleasant choice of environmental niches.”

I was thinking fast. “Wait, these could be like toads. It’s cold right now; maybe they’re hibernating. Hey, do you know what a ‘cuddlebeast’ actually looks like?”

“Not a clue. That’s your area of expertise.” Zhee gave me a look through the domes over his faceted eyes. “Do these things look especially cuddleable to you?”

“I don’t know, maybe.” I felt around gingerly for another one, hoping they didn’t have sharp teeth to use on people who interrupted their hibernation. “But that would explain why Cozy never came back, if he’s out here dozing with his distant family.”

“Well I’m sure he’s very happy if so,” Zhee said, stepping forward. “Let’s be off.”

“Wait, lemme try something first.” I put a hand on the sled as it eased past, but did my best impression of the squeaks that the food animals had made earlier. Cute little questioning sounds, like they were curious.

“If that didn’t work close to the house, it’s unlikely to work out here,” Zhee said. But he stopped again.

“It’s worth a shot,” I said. “Cozy! Cozyyy!” Then I squeaked some more.

“What a surprise; nothing. Now let’s—” Zhee flinched when something by his hind leg croaked.

“Cozy!” I said with a grin, ducking to look under the hoversled. “Here, boy!” Something potato-like with big eyes and a distinct pale swatch on the top was treading water in the murk.

Zhee stepped fastidiously to higher ground. “I can’t believe you found it.”

“Yup,” I said, testing my footing. “Now I just have to catch it.”

“As long as you keep your mud to yourself.”

“No promises,” I said, making the first lunge of many and only splashing a little.

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

#my writing #The Token Human #humans are weird #haso #hfy #eiad #humans are space orcs #writeblr #writblr #writing community #science fiction

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doujinshigirlai · 1 day ago

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Closer than ever <3

It's been a while 😭🫶🏻✨

Sypnosis: random drabble about enha confessing to y/n (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

Pairing: ot7!enhypen x fem!reader

Genre: fluff, acquaintances to lovers

Warnings: none!!!

Enjoy my pookies 🫶🏻✨💞

⋋⁠✿Lee Heeseung✿⁠⋌ You’re standing by the vending machine in the office break room, staring blankly at the rows of snacks, your mind too cluttered to decide on anything. The soft hum of the machine is drowned out by the sound of a familiar voice behind you.

“You’ve been eyeing that granola bar for the last two minutes. Is it really that good?”

You turn around to see Heeseung, his signature playful grin already tugging at his lips. You’ve known him for a few months now—he joined your department not long ago. Though your conversations have mostly been surface-level, there’s something about his relaxed confidence that always gets under your skin.

“It’s not about the granola bar,” you reply with a sigh, pressing the button for a random snack. “I’m just... distracted.”

Heeseung tilts his head, his eyes softening. “Work stress?”

“Among other things,” you admit, clutching the snack as if it’s a lifeline. You’re not sure why, but you feel a strange urge to confide in him, even though you’ve barely scratched the surface of who he is.

“Here,” he says, leaning against the vending machine. “I’ll trade you five minutes of bad jokes for a smile. Deal?”

You scoff, shaking your head. “You really think your jokes are that good?”

He smirks. “I think I can make you laugh. And I’m not leaving until I do.”

True to his word, Heeseung starts spouting the cheesiest, most ridiculous puns you’ve ever heard. It’s impossible not to crack a smile, and by the end of his impromptu comedy routine, you’re laughing so hard you nearly forget why you were stressed in the first place.

“See?” he says, his eyes twinkling with satisfaction. “Mission accomplished.”

You roll your eyes, but the warmth in your chest lingers. “Fine, I’ll admit it. You’re not the worst company.”

“Wow,” he teases, pretending to clutch his heart. “The highest praise I’ve ever received.”

From that day on, Heeseung seems to pop up everywhere—whether it’s during lunch breaks or late nights at the office. The more you talk, the more you realize how easy it is to be around him. He has this uncanny ability to make you forget your worries, to make you feel seen.

One evening, after yet another long day, he walks you to your car. The cool breeze carries the faint scent of his cologne, and for a moment, the world feels a little less heavy.

“You know,” he says softly, shoving his hands into his pockets, “I never thought I’d look forward to work so much... until I met you.”

You freeze, caught off guard by the sincerity in his voice. His usual teasing tone is gone, replaced by something deeper, something that makes your heart skip a beat.

“Heeseung—”

“I mean it,” he interrupts, his gaze meeting yours. “You make everything better. And I think... I think I want to be the person who does that for you, too.”

The words hang in the air, heavy with meaning. For once, you’re at a loss for words, but the way he looks at you—with so much hope and vulnerability—tells you all you need to know.

So you take a step closer, letting your walls crumble just a little. “You already do.”

His smile is slow, genuine, and when he takes your hand in his, it feels like the start of something you never saw coming—but everything you’ve been waiting for.

Rest of the members under the cut ✨✨✨

⋋⁠✿Park Jongseong✿⁠⋌ It starts on an ordinary Tuesday, with you standing in line at the campus coffee shop. The line is slow, and the cold draft from the door doesn’t help your mood. You shift your weight from one foot to the other, checking the time. You’re already running late.

“I’d suggest the caramel latte,” a smooth voice says behind you. You turn to see Jay, his dark eyes studying the menu as if he hasn’t memorized it already.

You know him in passing—a friend of a friend, someone who’s always in the background of your social circle but never quite in your orbit. He’s polite, even charming, but he’s always been... distant.

“I don’t think caramel’s going to fix my morning,” you reply with a sigh, crossing your arms.

Jay glances down at you, a small smirk playing on his lips. “No, but caffeine might.”

The barista finally calls your turn, and as you step up to order, Jay leans casually against the counter beside you. You don’t know why, but his presence is oddly calming.

“You’re not going to cut me in line, are you?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Relax,” he says, his tone amused. “I’m just here to keep you company.”

You scoff but can’t hide the small smile tugging at your lips. After you order, Jay steps forward, surprising you by paying for your drink before you can protest.

“Jay—”

“Consider it my good deed of the day,” he says, his smirk softening into something almost kind. “You look like you could use one.”

You don’t have time to argue, nor do you have time to dwell on it. But from that day on, Jay seems to be everywhere. In the library when you’re cramming for exams. At the park when you’re trying to clear your head. Always there with a witty remark or a quiet offer of help.

At first, it’s annoying. Then it’s comforting. And somewhere along the way, you stop questioning it.

One night, after an exhausting week, you find yourself sitting with Jay on a park bench, sipping on hot cocoa he insisted you needed. The stars are out, the air crisp, and you can’t remember the last time you felt this... at peace.

“You’re different than I thought,” you admit, breaking the silence.

Jay raises an eyebrow. “Oh? What’d you think I was like?”

“Arrogant. Unapproachable. Too perfect to be real.”

He laughs, a low, rich sound that makes your chest tighten. “And now?”

You shrug, looking away. “Still too perfect, but... I guess I was wrong about the rest.”

When you glance back, Jay is watching you intently, his expression unreadable.

“You don’t realize how often I’ve thought the same about you,” he says quietly.

Your breath catches. “What do you mean?”

He leans closer, the space between you shrinking. His gaze flickers to your lips for just a moment before returning to your eyes.

“I mean, I’ve been waiting for an excuse to get closer to you. And I’m tired of waiting.”

Before you can process his words, he closes the gap, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss so gentle it feels like a question. Your heart races, your hands instinctively gripping the edges of your coat, but when you feel the warmth of his hand against your cheek, the world around you fades.

It’s Jay who pulls back first, his breath mingling with yours in the cool night air. “Too perfect now?” he murmurs, a teasing smile tugging at his lips.

You laugh softly, shaking your head. “No. Just... perfect enough.”

And as he takes your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, you realize you don’t need coffee, or cocoa, or anything else to fix your day. Because for the first time in a long time, everything feels exactly as it should.

⋋⁠✿Sim Jaeyun✿⁠⋌ The late summer evening breeze sweeps through the campus courtyard as you balance a stack of books in your arms, cursing yourself for not grabbing a bag. You’re halfway across when a familiar voice calls out from behind you.

“Need some help there?”

You turn to see Jake, his golden hair catching the fading sunlight. He’s leaning casually against a nearby bench, his ever-present hoodie slung over one shoulder. You know Jake well enough to say hello in passing—your mutual friends ensure that your paths cross more often than not—but your interactions have always been polite, nothing more.

“I’ve got it,” you reply, adjusting the books.

Jake raises an eyebrow, his lips curving into a smirk. “You sure about that?”

Before you can respond, he’s already stepping forward, taking the top half of the stack from your arms. His fingers graze yours briefly, and the contact sends a jolt through you that you quickly dismiss.

“Really, I was fine,” you insist, trailing after him as he starts walking toward the library.

“Clearly,” he teases, glancing over his shoulder. “You looked totally at ease, struggling not to drop an entire semester’s worth of reading.”

You roll your eyes, but there’s no bite to it. “I didn’t ask for your help.”

“Didn’t need to,” Jake replies smoothly.

The two of you walk in silence for a moment, the tension between you both oddly palpable. It’s not the first time Jake’s gone out of his way to help you, but something about this moment feels different—like the weight of unspoken words is pressing down on the air around you.

When you reach the library, Jake sets the books down on a nearby table, brushing his hands off on his jeans. “There. Crisis averted.”

“Thanks,” you mumble, feeling suddenly self-conscious under his gaze.

Jake doesn’t move, his eyes studying you like he’s debating something. Finally, he takes a step closer, the playfulness in his expression replaced by something more serious.

“You know,” he begins, his voice lower now, “you’re really bad at asking for help.”

You cross your arms, trying to mask the way your heart is suddenly racing. “I don’t see why that’s any of your business.”

“It’s my business,” Jake says, his tone firmer now, “because I care about you.”

The words hang in the air, heavy and unmistakable. Your breath catches, and you’re not sure if it’s the way he’s looking at you—like he’s been holding this in for far too long—or the fact that your heart feels like it might burst out of your chest.

“Jake...” you start, but he shakes his head, cutting you off.

“No, let me say this,” he insists, his voice softening. “I know we’re not close. I know I’m just that guy you see in passing, the one who cracks jokes and never seems to take anything seriously. But with you... it’s different. You make me want to be better. You make me feel like I can be more.”

You’re frozen in place, your mind racing as you try to process the sheer weight of his confession.

“I’ve been trying to tell myself I’m fine just watching from a distance,” he continues, his voice almost breaking.

“But I’m not. I’m not fine, and I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel this way about you.”

The tension between you is electric, the air so thick with emotion that it’s almost suffocating. Jake takes another step closer, his hand hovering near yours, as if he’s waiting for permission to close the gap.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he murmurs, his eyes searching yours. “I just... I needed you to know.”

You swallow hard, your heart pounding so loudly you’re sure he can hear it. “Jake, I—”

But before you can finish, the librarian’s voice cuts through the air. “Excuse me, but this is a quiet zone.”

The moment shatters, and Jake pulls back slightly, his lips curving into a sheepish smile. “Guess we’re causing a scene,” he mutters, scratching the back of his neck.

You shake your head, a small laugh escaping despite the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you. “Yeah, we are.”

Jake looks at you for a long moment, his eyes still filled with unspoken words. “I meant what I said,” he whispers, just loud enough for you to hear. Then, with one last lingering glance, he turns and walks away, leaving you standing there with your heart in your throat and your mind spinning.

And as you watch him disappear into the stacks, you realize that whatever this is—whatever it could be—you’re not ready to let it slip through your fingers.

⋋⁠✿Park Sunghoon⁠✿⁠⋌ It’s late, and the campus quad is eerily quiet except for the sound of your boots crunching against the frosty grass. You pull your coat tighter around yourself, regretting your decision to stay in the library until closing. The dim glow of the streetlights casts long shadows, and you quicken your pace.

"Walking alone this late?” a familiar voice calls out from behind you.

You turn sharply, heart skipping a beat, only to see Sunghoon leaning casually against a nearby lamppost. His breath forms a faint mist in the cold air, and his hands are shoved into the pockets of his black coat.

“Sunghoon?” you say, your voice tinged with surprise.

He straightens up, falling into step beside you. “Relax. It’s just me.”

You’ve known Sunghoon for a while now, mostly through shared classes and mutual friends. He’s always been polite, reserved even—though his quiet confidence and striking looks have earned him more than a few admirers. Still, your interactions have always been brief, nothing that would explain why he’s here now.

“What are you doing out so late?” you ask, glancing at him.

“I could ask you the same thing,” he counters, his tone light but his gaze sharp. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s dangerous to walk around alone at night?".

You roll your eyes. “I can take care of myself, thanks.”

“Maybe,” he says, his lips twitching into a faint smirk. “But now you don’t have to.”

The two of you walk in silence for a while, the tension between you humming like a live wire. There’s something about the way Sunghoon moves—so self-assured yet unassuming—that makes it hard to look away.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” you say after a while.

“Do what?”

“Play the hero,” you reply, glancing at him.

He stops walking, and you’re forced to stop too, turning to face him. His expression is unreadable, but his dark eyes hold yours with an intensity that makes your pulse quicken.

“You think I’m doing this to play the hero?” he asks, his voice low, almost dangerous.

You hesitate, suddenly unsure of yourself. “I don’t know. Aren’t you?”

Sunghoon takes a step closer, closing the distance between you. His presence is overwhelming, and you find yourself rooted to the spot.

“I’m here,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper, “because I wanted to see you. Because every time I see you, it’s harder to walk away. And I’m done pretending that it’s not.”

Your breath catches in your throat, the weight of his words hitting you like a tidal wave.

“Sunghoon...” you start, but he shakes his head, silencing you.

“Tell me to stop,” he murmurs, his gaze flickering to your lips before returning to your eyes. “If this isn’t what you want, tell me, and I’ll walk away.”

You don’t say anything, your mind racing, your heart pounding. And then, instead of speaking, you step closer, bridging the gap between you.

That’s all the confirmation he needs. Sunghoon leans in, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that’s both soft and electrifying, like the first rush of a winter storm. His hand comes up to cup your cheek, his touch warm against your chilled skin, and for a moment, the rest of the world ceases to exist.

When he finally pulls back, his forehead rests lightly against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the cold night air.

You smile, your heart still racing. “What took you so long?”

Sunghoon chuckles softly, his eyes glinting with a mixture of relief and something deeper. “I guess I needed to know you wouldn’t push me away.”

You shake your head, your smile widening. “Not a chance.”

And as the two of you stand there under the dim streetlight, the frost on the grass glittering around you, it feels like the start of something neither of you can—or want to—turn back from.

⋋⁠✿Kim Sunoo⁠✿⁠⋌ The campus is quiet, the kind of stillness that feels unnatural. You’ve been in the library for hours, buried in notes and textbooks, your mind drifting in and out of focus. It’s been a long day, and you’re ready to head home, but as you step out of the building into the evening chill, you’re met with an unexpected sight—Sunoo, sitting on a bench under the dim light of a streetlamp, his eyes trained on the starless sky.

You stop in your tracks, unsure if you should interrupt him. You’ve never been particularly close, and yet, for some reason, you always find yourself caught in his orbit. He’s always been kind, that easy smile never far from his lips, but there’s something about him that feels distant—a warmth that’s almost unreachable.

He notices you standing there, and his expression shifts, that usual playful grin softening.

“Couldn’t sleep?” you ask, your voice breaking the silence.

Sunoo looks up, his gaze locking with yours. “More like couldn’t stop thinking,” he replies, his voice quieter than usual.

You hesitate, moving closer to the bench. “About what?”

Sunoo shifts to make room, patting the spot next to him. You sit down, careful not to let your shoulder brush his, though it feels almost impossible not to.

“It’s... complicated,” he says after a long pause, his fingers fidgeting with the edge of his sleeve.

You turn to face him, the tension between you thickening. You know he’s been quieter lately, as if something is weighing on his mind. There’s a softness to him now, an unspoken vulnerability that draws you in even more.

“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready,” you offer gently.

Sunoo smiles faintly, shaking his head. “No, I think... I think it’s time I said it.”

You wait, your heart beginning to race as he looks down, as if trying to find the right words. His usual confidence is replaced by uncertainty, and it’s unsettling to see him like this.

“I’ve been holding back,” he starts slowly, “because I didn’t want to make things complicated. But I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel this way.”

You swallow, unsure if you want to hear what’s coming next. The air feels charged, like something big is about to happen, but you're unsure if you're ready to face it.

“I think I’ve liked you for longer than I realized,” Sunoo confesses, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I was scared. Scared of what it would mean. Scared of ruining whatever we have.”

Your breath hitches, the words sinking in deeper than you expected. You open your mouth to respond, but no words come out. It’s almost too much to process. Sunoo, always the cheerful and outgoing one, the guy who can make anyone laugh, is standing there—vulnerable and open in a way you’ve never seen before.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he says, looking at you earnestly. “I just... needed you to know.”

The weight of his confession presses down on you, and you can feel the tension between you like a palpable force. His eyes are wide, searching yours for a reaction, and for the first time, you realize how much you’ve been holding back as well.

“I don’t know what to say,” you admit, your voice trembling slightly.

Sunoo nods, a small, bittersweet smile tugging at his lips. “You don’t have to say anything. I just needed to tell you.”

You both sit in silence, the night growing colder around you, but you don’t move. The quiet between you now feels comfortable, as though you’ve just crossed an invisible line that neither of you can go back from.

Finally, Sunoo stands up, stretching his arms above his head. “I’ll see you around,” he says, his usual carefree tone returning, but there’s still a tenderness in his eyes.

You nod, watching him walk away, your heart a tangled mess of emotions. But as the silence settles in once more, you realize that his confession has changed something between you. It’s not just the words; it’s the way you feel the truth of them, how everything suddenly feels clearer, even if it’s still uncertain "I like you too!!!", you shout. He turns, grinning widely and genuinely.

And maybe, just maybe, it’s the beginning of something that neither of you are ready to define yet—but both of you know will be impossible to forget.

⋋⁠✿Yang Jungwon⁠✿⁠⋌ The early morning sun casts a soft golden light across the campus as you step out of the dorm, a cup of coffee in hand to start your day. The campus is quieter than usual, the early risers having already started their routines, and the air is crisp with the promise of a new day.

As you make your way toward the main building, you spot Jungwon sitting on one of the benches by the fountain. The sunlight catches in his hair, giving him an almost ethereal glow, and for a moment, he seems completely absorbed in the world around him. His hands are tucked into the pockets of his jacket, and his gaze is focused on the morning sky, his features soft and contemplative.

You pause for a moment, unsure if you should interrupt his peace, but then you find yourself walking toward him anyway.

"Jungwon?" You call out, voice hesitant

He blinks, looking up with a slight surprise before his lips curl into a small, genuine smile. “Hey, you’re up early,” he says, his voice still carrying the remnants of sleepiness but also warmth.

You offer a small smile in return, shrugging. “Yeah, I’ve got a busy day ahead. I thought I’d grab some coffee before the rush.”

“Smart choice,” he says, patting the space beside him on the bench. “Want to sit for a bit?”

You sit down beside him, wrapping your hands around the warmth of your coffee cup. There’s a calmness in the air now, the world slowly waking up around you. And for a moment, you simply sit in silence, the sound of birds chirping and the faint rustle of leaves the only noise.

“You’ve been quiet this morning,” you remark, glancing at Jungwon, who’s still staring off into the distance.

He shifts slightly, as if he’s just now realizing how still he’s been. “I guess I’ve just been thinking a lot,” he admits, his voice softer than usual.

You raise an eyebrow, intrigued. “About what?”

Jungwon’s gaze drifts to the ground for a moment, his fingers fidgeting with the edge of his jacket. There’s a hesitation there, a vulnerability in his posture that you don’t often see.

“It’s... about us,” he says quietly, his voice carrying an honesty that you’re not used to hearing from him.

Your heart skips a beat at his words. “Us?”

He turns his head slightly to face you, his eyes catching yours. “Yeah,” he says, his voice low. “I’ve been thinking about you. A lot more than I should, probably. I wasn’t sure if I should say anything, but... I think it’s time I do.”

You feel a knot form in your stomach, the air between you thick with unspoken tension. Jungwon, who’s always been so composed and in control, now seems different. There’s a vulnerability to him now that makes your heart race.

"I don’t want to make things complicated,” he continues, his voice almost a whisper. “But I can’t keep pretending like I don’t feel this way. I think about you all the time, and I just... I need you to know that.”

Your breath catches in your throat, and for a moment, you don’t know what to say. Jungwon has always been the calm and collected one, the friend who makes everyone feel at ease. But this side of him, the side that’s unsure and uncertain, catches you off guard.

You turn to face him, the warmth of your coffee forgotten in your hands. “Jungwon, I—”

Before you can finish, he’s already leaning in, his eyes searching yours for a hint of whether you’re okay with this. There’s no hesitation this time, no second-guessing. Jungwon closes the gap between you, and his lips meet yours in a gentle, tentative kiss. It’s soft, barely there, but it holds so much meaning. A confession in the quiet of the morning, the warmth of his lips lingering even after the kiss is over.

When he pulls back, there’s a faint blush on his cheeks, and he looks at you with wide, uncertain eyes. “I hope that wasn’t too much,” he says, his voice soft, like he’s afraid of pushing you away.

You take a deep breath, your heart racing in your chest, and smile softly. “No, it wasn’t. It’s just... I’ve been thinking about you too.”

His expression softens, a genuine smile slowly spreading across his face. “Really?” he asks, his voice filled with quiet relief.

You nod, feeling the warmth spreading through your chest. “Really.”

Jungwon lets out a breath of relief, his smile widening. “I’m glad. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but this is definitely better than I thought.”

You laugh softly, feeling the weight of the tension between you ease. “I think we’ve both been a little unsure of how to handle this, huh?”

“Yeah,” he admits, chuckling lightly. “But I’m glad it’s out there now.”

And as the two of you sit together on the bench, the sun rises higher in the sky, you both realize that whatever comes next, it’s the start of something new—something neither of you were expecting, but both of you are willing to embrace.

⋋⁠✿Nishimura Riki✿⁠⋌ The morning sun spills through the windows of the campus café as you sit by the large glass wall, the warmth of the light casting a soft glow over your book and coffee. You’ve been coming here a lot lately, needing a quiet escape from the chaos of classes and the constant buzz of campus life.

Today, however, something feels different. You glance up from your book as the door chimes open, and in walks Niki. His usual carefree energy is a little more subdued today, and the way his eyes scan the room before locking on you is enough to make your heart skip a beat.

Niki doesn’t usually come to this café in the mornings; he’s more of an afternoon kind of person, where his energy seems boundless. But today, he steps toward your table, hesitating for a moment, like he’s trying to decide whether to say something.

“Mind if I join you?” he asks, his voice quieter than usual. You notice the way his eyes avoid yours for a split second, a hint of uncertainty in his usually confident demeanor.

“Of course,” you reply, your heart inexplicably racing. You shift your things aside to make room for him, and he sits across from you, his usual grin missing, replaced by a soft, thoughtful expression.

For a few moments, there’s an awkward silence between you. You’re used to Niki being playful, always cracking jokes, always full of energy, but today, he seems almost... hesitant.

“You okay?” you ask, unable to ignore the change in his vibe.

He looks up at you, his lips curling slightly, but it’s not his usual carefree smile. It’s almost as if he’s considering something deeply before he answers. “Yeah, just thinking about stuff.”

“Stuff?” you raise an eyebrow. “What kind of stuff?”

He runs a hand through his hair, his gaze dropping to the table as he seems to lose himself in thought again. “Just... everything, I guess. People. Life.” His voice is softer now, like he’s choosing his words carefully. “And you.”

Your breath catches in your throat, and you can feel the shift in the air. Niki doesn’t usually speak like this, especially about you.

“Me?” you repeat, trying to keep your voice steady, but the way he says it makes your heart race even faster.

He nods, his gaze lifting to meet yours again. This time, it feels like he’s looking at you in a way that’s different—more intense, more meaningful. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot recently. About how you’re always there, and how I’ve always been able to talk to you. You’re... different, you know? I think I’ve started feeling more than just the friendship thing.”

Your stomach flips, and your words get caught in your throat. You’ve always had a soft spot for Niki—his charm, his humor, his way of making everything feel effortless. But this... this confession feels like it’s pulling you into something much deeper than you expected.

“You’re telling me this now?” you ask, trying to keep your voice light, but your heart is pounding in your chest.

Niki looks at you for a long moment, as if he’s debating something in his mind. Then, he leans forward slightly, his hands folding on the table. His usual playful demeanor is gone, replaced by something more raw, more vulnerable.

“I know I’ve always acted like I was the one who had it all figured out,” he says, his voice quiet, but his eyes focused on you. “But the truth is... I’ve been a little scared.”

“Scared?” You lean forward, trying to make sense of what he’s saying. “Scared of what?”

“Scared of how much you mean to me,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper now. “Scared of how I might mess things up. I don’t want to ruin what we have, but I can’t ignore it anymore.”

The air is thick with tension now. You feel your heart beat faster, not from fear, but from something else—something electric.

“Niki, I—”

But before you can finish your sentence, he reaches across the table, his fingers brushing against yours. The warmth of his touch is enough to make your pulse spike, and your words falter as you meet his gaze.

“I don’t want to hide this anymore,” he says, his voice steady but full of the emotion he’s been holding back. “I like you. More than just as a friend. And I had to tell you, even if it’s scary.”

You sit there for a moment, the world around you seeming to slow down. Niki, the guy who’s always been the center of attention, always so full of life, is now sitting in front of you, vulnerable and open in a way you’ve never seen before.

And in that moment, you realize that maybe, just maybe, you’ve been feeling the same way.

You don’t need words anymore. Without thinking, you reach for his hand, your fingers intertwining with his. It’s simple, but it feels like everything you’ve been too scared to say is being communicated in this single, quiet touch.

Niki’s eyes soften, and a slow, genuine smile spreads across his face. “I was worried you wouldn’t feel the same,” he admits, his voice a little breathless.

You smile, squeezing his hand gently. “I think we’ve both been scared of the same thing.”

And as you sit there, hands locked together, the morning light shining through the window, you realize that this is the start of something new. Something that doesn’t need words, but something you’re both willing to explore together.

HOPE YOU ENJOYED POOKIESSSS 💞✨💞

Taglist: @fangirlingobsessed @ilovebtsomgie @ayakananodesu @leftx1imaginesrenji-yanagirebel @axxftergl0w @astro-des @han-doolsetnet @ssungiverb @itsanaaa22 @bonsai-maze @graciiwestlake @lezleeferguson-120 @sovlidago @callistomk @ottokenta @ikeulove @fredneo17 @dprvivi @emisoftly @puppymyunjae @gven-takn @whitediamond778 @leipforggy

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cmdrfupa · 15 hours ago

Text

Have my unedited Ino thoughts

You let out a sigh, trying to remind yourself that it wasn’t a big deal.

People flake, it happens. But damn, blocking you?

Stinging regret settled as you thought on your genius “date outside of your comfort zone” idea. This was suppose to be the year of no expectations just fun and now those no expectations had you sitting on a bench at a park, eating a sad ice cream cone after being stood up.

The night winds blew gently, and with that came the sounds of wheels gliding across the pavement coming from behind you.

One, two, three, four, five. Five guys skating up one by one. A pink haired one on inlines closely behind, recording the masked leader while blasting probably the last song you thought you’d hear at a skatepark.

He did what you knew to be a frontside flip thanks to your brother then proceeded with moving closer to the camera to lift his balaclava just enough to show his mouth.

Something shiny caught your attention and you cocked your head to the side as you he flicked his tongue out. A silver ball. A tongue ring.

“And that’s how you serve up. TakuDori skate team, ready to be the reigning street champs yet again. See you at the finals, baby boy.” He kissed the camera and you rolled your eyes with a laugh.

Licking your ice cream cone, you smiled as he pulled his mask off and all of a sudden you could sit for just a little longer. “Well..” light brown hair, stuck to his forehead and nape as he lifted his long sleeve over his head, white undershirt sticking to him. “Damn. Definitely a fuckboy.”

“Good shit Yu! Buzz for the next tourney is going to really bring in a huge crowd.” He wiped the sweat from his forehead, turning to give you a view of the probably the prettiest tattoo you’d ever seen on a person: Three dragons circled around a sea turtle. Vibrant with hues of red, green, yellow and browns that looked like water color.

Impressive.

He was tall, lean and effortless and he skated around twirling his shirt above his head. Weaving around the park like it was his personal playground with a physique that… well… it didn’t hurt that he was etched from marble.

You watched as he launched off a ramp, landing smoothly before skidding to a stop near the edge of the park— near you.

And then it happened. He tugged the undershirt off over his head, revealing toned abs and a much broader chest than you originally imagined, and used it to wipe sweat from his neck.

It was such a quick— natural— completely unintentional motion but it had you stuck. At least until he caught you staring.

“You enjoying the show?” He asked, his voice light and teasing. When your eyes snapped to meet his, you saw the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He definitely noticed.

“I wasn’t—“ you lied, stumbling over your words, heat rushing to you cheeks. “I wasn’t watching.”

“Mhmm.” He raised his eyebrow, clicking the metal ball against his teeth, clearly unconvinced while slinging the shirt over his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’m not mad. I’d probably stare also if I saw someone pulling off the moves I just did.”

That earned an eyeroll. “Our humble king.”

He grinned, stepping closer. “Confidence is key.”

“Or annoying” you shot back, though the smile growing on your face betrayed your amusement. He caught it and leaned against his board, his grin now undeniable.

“I’m Ino,” he offered his hand. His tone had softened slightly the teasing still there but warmer now, more genuine.

You told him your name, and his eyes lit up like he'd just found something precious. "Nice to meet you. So, what brings you to the skate park? Don't tell me you're secretly a pro skater about to put us all to shame."

"Not likely," you replied with a laugh. "I was at that Thai restaurant across the street. Was supposed to meet someone. A date."

"A date?" He tilted his head, his interest clearly piqued. "Soooo… where are they?"

"They didn't show," you admitted, trying to keep your tone light. "Guess they had better things to do."

His expression shifted, the playful smirk giving way to something softer, more thoughtful. "Better things to do than hang out with you? Mmm, doubt."

You blinked, caught off guard by the sincerity in his voice. "Flattery's not going to get you anywhere," you said, though your cheeks warmed at his words. “You just met me, Ino.”

"Oh, it's not flattery," he replied, crossing his arms as he leaned casually against the fence. "It's just facts. Honestly, standing someone like you up? Tragic. But hey, their loss is my gain."

"Your gain?" you repeated, raising an eyebrow. "And what exactly are you gaining here?"

"The chance to make it up to you," he said without missing a beat. "How about this: one date. No standing you up, no awkward silences, just me, you, and a guarantee that I'm way more fun than whoever bailed on you."

You stared at him, torn between disbelief and amusement. He was bold, that was for sure, but there was something disarming about his confidence-like it wasn't just an act. "You're really not shy, are you?"

"Life's too short to be shy, pretty girl. " he said, flashing you a grin so genuine it made your heart skip. "So? What do you say?"

You hesitated, letting the silence stretch just long enough to make him shift his weight, his grin faltering ever so slightly. Then you smiled. "Alright, Ino. You've got yourself a date."

His grin returned full force “"Perfect. You won't regret it, I promise."

“And if I do?”

“I’ll give you my right eye to wear as a charm,” He put his hand up. “Scouts honor.”

“That’s so extreme. I’d just let you have another date, dumbass.”

It was like his eyes turned into hearts. “Yes ma’am.”

_________________

The song in question:

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #ino takuma #takuma ino x reader #jjk takuma #takuma x you #takuma ino

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serapharua · 6 hours ago

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NO DISTANCE BETWEEN US | NISHIMURA RIKI

niki enha — GENRE : imagines fluff texts at end !— PAIRING : bf!niki x reader — WARNING : none — REQUESTED : yes <3 ☆ — enha masterlist

synopsis : you’re in a long-distance relationship with Niki and you guys are finally meeting for the first time!

note : this is my first time writing Niki like by himself so it may be a bit off 😭 hopefully ill get better at writing him in the future but rn I'm still learning </3

The excitement of finally meeting Niki in person after all this time hits you like a wave. You’ve spent endless nights talking and dreaming about this moment, and now, it’s real. You’re standing at the airport, scanning the crowd, trying to find the face you’ve been missing.

Your phone buzzes: “I’m here, at the gate. Get ready to be blown away.”

You look up just in time to see him — Niki, leaning casually against a pillar, wearing a slight grin that’s equal parts confident and playful. The instant you make eye contact, he pushes off from the pillar and strides over to you, trying to look cool but his nerves are evident in the way he keeps fidgeting with his hoodie sleeve.

“Finally, you showed up,” Niki says with a wink, but there’s a slight tremor in his voice, and you can tell he’s struggling to contain his excitement. “I’ve been waiting forever.”

You laugh, feeling the nervous energy crackling between you two. “I didn’t know I was supposed to impress you. I was just trying to find you in this crowd!”

He smirks but his eyes don’t quite meet yours, like he’s trying to hide just how excited he is. “I wasn’t expecting you to be this hard to find,” he says, his voice teasing, but there’s a softness behind the words. “You look different… better than I imagined.”

Before you can even respond, he pulls you into a tight hug, almost as if he’s worried you might disappear. His arms wrap around you with a mix of familiarity and warmth, his body stiff at first as though he’s processing the moment. But then, he relaxes, burying his face in your hair for a second before pulling away just enough to look at you, his heart racing.

“You’re not as bad as I thought,” he murmurs, his voice barely audible, the teasing tone still there, but now laced with an endearing nervousness. “I’m not letting you go now, though. You’re stuck with me.”

You smile, feeling the soft vulnerability behind his usual cocky demeanor. “You act like I’m the one who should be worried.”

He chuckles, but it’s more of a breathless laugh than his usual confident one. “I swear, if I didn’t have to play it cool right now, I’d probably be freaking out.” He rubs the back of his neck, his smile becoming more genuine, his nerves getting the best of him. “I mean… I’ve been waiting for this. For so long.”

You laugh, your heart melting a little at the sight of him so nervous. “You? Freaking out? I can’t believe it.”

“I know, I know,” he says with a dramatic sigh, still smiling but now with an adorable sheepishness. “But… it’s you. And now you’re here. It’s way better than being stuck behind a screen, don’t you think?”

You nod, feeling the warmth between you two growing. “Definitely.”

He gives you a playful nudge with his elbow, though it’s more gentle now. “Well, now that you’re here… I guess you’re stuck with me for good.”

You can’t help but smile, realizing that no matter how cool he tries to act, he’s just as excited to finally meet you as you are.

Word count : 526 | serapharua, 2025.

#‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ 𓂃 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎★‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 𝗘𝗡╸ .ᐟ #— ☆ requested #niki imagines #niki x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #enha imagines #ni ki #ni ki x reader #ni ki imagines #nishimura riki #nishimura riki imagines

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novascharms · 16 hours ago

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MY STRANGE ADDICTION - RAFE CAMERON

dealer! rafe cameron x maddy perez

Maddy Perez has never been addicted to drugs—nor will she ever be. Her only addiction is the campus dealer she just can't seem to shake off and no matter how hard she tries to break free, she keeps getting pulled back into his orbit.

masterlist w.c — 4.0 c.w — smut, p in v a.n — choosing to continue this cause i got two free weeks and like lots of ideas abt these two for someee reason. lets ignore that rafe would actually off himself if he had to deal with maddy hihi :)

maddy goes to a party with nate and guess who's there? our very own campus dealer

Maddy’s gaze was fixed on Nate, though her attention was split in too many directions to keep track of. SZA’s smooth voice floated through the speakers, the music blending with the background chatter of the party. Nate was talking—something about football or his job—but his words felt like static. Her mind wandered, her eyes constantly flicking around, scanning the crowd. She hated how automatic it was, this ridiculous, involuntary search her brain always seemed to conduct.

She forced herself to focus, blinking hard as if to clear the fog clouding her thoughts. Nate’s voice filtered back in. “—think I’ll be moving up in ranks pretty soon,” he finished, his tone proud.

Maddy nodded, plastering on a polite smile, though she had no idea what “ranks” he was even referring to. “That’s great. I’m happy for you. Sounds like things are going well.”

Her tone was effortless, practiced, and Nate seemed satisfied with her response. He leaned in, adjusting the strap of her slightly crumpled bikini top with the kind of familiarity she used to find endearing. Once, his boldness might have been attractive, thrilling even. Now, it was just…irritating. Her instincts told her to pull back, but she stopped herself. She’d come here with him, after all. His “date.”

“Are the others here yet?” Nate asked, scanning the crowd.

The answer hovered on her tongue, ready to be spoken, but she faltered. That chill along her spine was unmistakable, a sensation that set her on edge in an entirely different way. She didn’t have to look to know. It was him.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught the blurred outlines of people entering the party. She couldn’t make out faces, only the edges of dark clothing and purposeful movements. Her body recognized him before her brain did.

Her gaze darted briefly to her outfit—a black bikini paired with an oversized white button-up for a pretense of modesty. She let out a shaky breath, willing herself to refocus. “They’re on their way,” she said lightly. “They wanted to pregame.”

Nate raised a brow, his expression curious. “Since when do you skip out on pregaming?”

Her pulse quickened, not from Nate’s question but from the pull she felt across the space between her and him. The boy who made her feel utterly insane. The one she wanted to shove down a flight of stairs whenever caught him with someone else.

“I don’t like drinking when I don’t know the host,” she said, her tone even. It wasn’t entirely untrue, though it wasn’t the real reason either.

Nate gave her a reassuring smile, leaning closer. “I’m here. You know I’d never let anything happen to you.”

She forced another smile. “I know. But still…better safe than sorry.” She tilted her cup slightly, letting the drink spill silently into the grass behind her before handing it to him. “Could you get me a refill?”

He nodded, his smile warm and easy, before disappearing toward the drink table.

The moment he was gone, Maddy turned on her pool chair, angling herself to face the water. A few people were swimming, but most lingered on the edges, laughing and chatting in tight groups.

Her phone buzzed against her leg, the vibration pulling her attention. Leaning back, she reached for it and opened the message.

Her eyes scanned the words briefly before instinctively looking up, searching for him. He had to be watching. He always was.

It didn’t take long to find him. He sat directly across from her on the far side of the pool, surrounded by his friends. And, as if drawn by some invisible force, his eyes were already on her.

That electric jolt hit her again, the same one it always did when their gazes locked. It was sharp, unmistakable, and it made her feel more alive than she cared to admit.

Not wanting to stare like an idiot, Maddy dropped her gaze back to her phone and began typing her reply.

Across the pool, he watched her with a faint smile tugging at his lips. He found this amusing, he'd always liked it when she was being bitchy. At least she was responding now—it was better than the stony silence she’d given him for weeks.

And that was true. She probably wouldn't fuck Nate. That was kinda gross.

“Here’s your refill. Sorry that took a minute,” Nate said as he sat down near her feet, holding out a plastic cup filled with something bright red.

Maddy clicked off her phone, tucking it between her thighs before reaching for the drink. “That’s okay, thank you.” She took a small sip, letting the artificial sweetness settle on her tongue.

For the first time all evening, Nate was quiet. Too quiet. Maddy glanced over, her brows knitting together when she noticed he wasn’t even looking at her. His gaze was fixed somewhere else.

“What?” she asked, her tone laced with impatience.

Nate didn’t answer right away. Instead, he gave a subtle nod toward something—or someone—in the distance. “He’s coming over here.”

Maddy didn’t need clarification. She already knew.

“He looks pissed,” Nate added, shifting uncomfortably.

Maddy narrowed her eyes, leaning back in her chair like she had all the time in the world. “He is,” she said casually, taking another sip of her drink. “I told him you called him a dog.”

Nate’s eyes went wide with panic. “What? Why would you do that?”

She smirked, savoring his reaction for just a moment too long. “I’m joking. Jesus, relax. He’s not a murderer.” She wasn’t entirely sure about that last part.

Before Nate could say anything else, Rafe’s looming presence was suddenly upon them. His large hands landed on Nate’s shoulders with enough force to make Nate flinch.

“Jacobs,” Rafe said, his voice low and heavy with unspoken authority.

Maddy rolled her eyes, leaning back further into the pool chair, feigning indifference as though she could actually ignore the scene unfolding in front of her.

Rafe didn’t say another word. He simply nodded his head to the side, a silent command for Nate to leave.

Nate didn’t even hesitate. He was gone in seconds, a move so predictable it almost made her laugh.

“You could’ve picked someone who made it feel a little like a competition,” Rafe said, lowering himself into the spot Nate had vacated.

Maddy let out a mock-hurt hum. “Your homeboys weren’t free, but I’ll definitely keep them in mind for next time.”

Rafe tilted his head, eyes narrowing at her before he chuckled, shaking his head. “That’s good. That’s really good.”

He shifted closer, his tone taking on a serious edge. “Are you done, though? Can we put an end to this, or do you want to keep stretching it out?”

Maddy tilted her head, playing dumb. “Clarify,” she said, her voice dripping with faux sweetness.

Rafe’s jaw tightened, irritation flashing in his eyes. “I’m going to ask you the same thing I asked you a month ago, yeah?” He leaned forward, his gaze pinning her in place. “What do you want? Because I’ve apologized—every damn day for the past three weeks—and I’ve spoiled you rotten. Even though you can’t even answer the fucking phone when I call.”

He leaned back, spreading his arms wide in a gesture of exasperation. “So what is it? You want me to get on my knees?”

The corner of Maddy’s mouth twitched, and she could feel the playful glint in her eyes betraying her. The idea didn’t sound bad at all.

Rafe caught her expression immediately and shook his head. “Don’t do the most, Maddy.”

She straightened up, sitting forward so that they were nearly nose-to-nose. “I’m going to tell you the same thing I told you a month ago, yeah?” she echoed back at him, mimicking his tone.

He waited, his gaze sharp and unyielding.

“I don’t want shit from you,” she said with a shrug, her voice light. “The gifts have been nice, though.”

She reached out and tapped the tip of his nose with her finger, the move so childish it bordered on petty. Then, without another word, she stood up and walked away.

Rafe stayed seated, watching her disappear into the crowd, his jaw tight with frustration. Maddy didn’t bother looking back. She had ten minutes to find Nate before her friends showed up—and she wasn’t about to waste them.

“Nate, let’s dance,” Maddy said, grabbing his hand and tugging him away from his friends. He hesitated for only a second, his gaze darting to the group he’d just left.

“I don’t want to get in the middle of shit, you know that,” he muttered, his voice low and uncertain.

Maddy sighed, rolling her eyes in visible irritation. “There isn’t shit to get in the middle of. Don’t worry about him.” Her tone was firm, dismissive, as if the mere mention of Rafe was beneath her.

Nate didn’t look entirely convinced, but when Maddy began to sway her hips to the pulsing beat of the music, his resistance faltered. Almost instinctively, his hands found her waist, his touch tentative at first but growing bolder as she moved against him.

The crowd around them thickened, bodies pressing together as the bass of the music thumped louder, rattling the walls. The heat in the room was almost stifling, a mix of sweat and cologne hanging heavy in the air. She pulled Nate closer, leaning up to brush her lips along the shell of his ear in a way that made him shiver.

Her eyes, however, were elsewhere.

Through the chaotic swirl of bodies, her gaze found him. Rafe sat with his friends, a pretty brunette perched on his lap, laughing at something he’d said. A joint dangled lazily between his fingers, though he seemed utterly uninterested in the girl giggling in his ear or the conversation happening around him.

His attention was fixed entirely on Maddy.

She felt the sharp thrill of his gaze, like electricity crackling along her skin. The corner of her mouth twitched upward in the faintest smirk.

Nate was speaking—something about how hot she looked, maybe—but Maddy barely registered his words. Instead, she cut him off mid-sentence, tugging him down to crash her lips against his.

Nate responded eagerly, his arms wrapping tighter around her as if he couldn’t get enough. He wasn’t the most compelling person she’d ever been with—far from it, actually. Everything about him was a stark contrast to Rafe: where Rafe was sharp and commanding, Nate was soft and accommodating. But he served his purpose.

Maddy let her hands trail up his chest, pulling him deeper into the moment. His hands slid lower, grazing her hips before resting on her ass. She let out a soft moan when he gave her a light squeeze, tilting her head just enough to draw him further in.

When she finally pulled back, her lips were slick and swollen, her breath mingling with his. Nate’s lips chased hers instantly, desperate and clumsy in his eagerness.

She giggled softly, brushing her fingers along his jaw. “Let’s go upstairs,” she murmured, her voice dripping with suggestion.

Nate didn’t need to be told twice. Grabbing her hand, he began weaving through the sea of bodies, his grip firm as he led her toward the stairs.

Nate had her pinned against the wall before they even made it to a room. His hands roamed her waist, gripping like he was afraid to lose his chance. The hallway was dimly lit, the muffled bass from downstairs vibrating through the walls. Maddy’s breath hitched—not from excitement, but from the sharp pang of regret she was trying to suppress.

It was a blur. One moment, Nate was in front of her, his lips brushing her neck. The next, he was ripped away with a force that made her stumble. Her eyes flew open, her back still pressed to the cool plaster, and there was Rafe.

He stood between her and Nate, broad-shouldered and seething, his jaw tight and his chest heaving. Nate, caught off guard, staggered before regaining his footing.

“You—” Rafe began, his voice low and dangerous, but he paused as Nate straightened and, to Maddy’s surprise, stepped forward with a spark of defiance.

“Don’t get any ideas, Jacobs,” Rafe warned, his tone dripping with disdain. His sharp blue eyes cut into Nate, daring him to react.

When he didn't leave, Rafe turned to Nate in surprise. "You need something?"

Nate didn’t flinch. His gaze flicked between Rafe and Maddy before he squared his shoulders. “If you don’t feel safe with him,” he said, his voice steady but charged, “I’m not leaving.”

Maddy didn’t need to look at Rafe to know that Nate had just lit the match.

“Do you want me to—” Rafe’s voice exploded, his body lurching forward like a coiled spring released. Maddy moved faster, her hand shooting out to grab his arm, halting him before he could make contact.

“Nate, go!” she barked, her voice slicing through the tension like a whip.

For a moment, Nate hesitated. His concern for her was evident, but so was his understanding of the situation. One second longer, and he turned, retreating down the hallway.

As soon as he was gone, Maddy spun on Rafe, shoving him hard in the chest. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” she demanded, her voice trembling with anger.

Rafe barely moved under her shove, his stance unyielding, his lips curling into a smirk that was as infuriating as it was amused. “What’s wrong with me?” he shot back, his voice loud enough to echo. “Isn't this exactly why the fuck you do this dumb shit? Don't act like you have any interest in that poor boy.”

“The only poor boy is the one I'm looking at right now,” Maddy snapped, her voice rising to meet his. “I don't see what the fuck the issue is since last I checked, you were nice and cosied up with your little friend by the pool."

Rafe’s expression darkened, his eyes narrowing. “I’m not the one who showed up with someone on my arm,” he retorted, his words sharp. “You think that shits funny, grinding your ass all over him like a slut?”

The slap came before she could stop herself. The sound was deafening in the narrow hallway, sharp and precise like the crack of a whip. Rafe’s head jerked slightly, and for a fleeting moment, she saw the sting in his eyes before he masked it with that infuriating nonchalance.

“Did I cross a line?” he asked, his voice smooth but laced with mockery. His smirk returned, daring her to do it again.

“You’re a piece of shit, you know that?” Maddy spat, her voice trembling with fury. She stepped closer, invading his space and he nods slowly like he knows something she doesn't, "You say the same shit when your pussy is creaming on my dick."

Maddy didn't want to think about it, had been avoiding the image, the memory of sex with Rafe. But he'd brought it up now, rubbed it right in her face and she was faced with the undeniable truth that he was the best she'd ever had and he knew it. He was rubbing it in her face right now, he was always rubbing it in her face that no matter what he said and how he acted, she'd never say no.

Maddy’s mind betrayed her, conjuring memories she had buried deep. She could see it clearly now—the way he moved, the way he touched her, the way he made her lose herself entirely.

She must have let it show on her face because his smirk widened, his eyes gleaming with amusement.

Maddy grabs him by the back of his neck before he can say something even more stupid and crushes her lips to his in a kiss that is somewhere between angry and desperate.

Rafe's got her legs wrapped around him in a flash, hands firmly on her ass as he walks them into the first room he can blindly find. Maddy's lips are coaxed open by the slide of his tongue as he slams the door closed behind them and shoves her back against the wall. She huffs at the force of his shove, "Be fucking gentle."

"Stop talking so fucking much." He grunted, mouth moving from her lips to her neck and Maddy couldn't surpress the moan that forced her way past her lips. She felt Rafe's eager fingers on the thin strap of her bikini bottom, "Don't you fucking dare rip those," She knew him all too well and these bottoms were the only clothing she had on her.

"Why? You seem to love the attention you've been getting lately." Rafe murmurs as his hand slides down to unzip his pants swiftly. She's pleased when he doesn't completely ignore her polite request and pushes her bikini to the side. Maddy whimpers, nails digging into his shoulder and back when she feels him press against her aching folds.

"Is this what you wanted, baby? This what you needed?" he whispered in a mocking voice as his tip tentatively pushes inside of Maddy's seeping cunt and her legs involuntarily tighten around him. "Now you wanna shut up, huh?" Rafe groans as he pushes inside of her and Maddy feels the air escape her lungs.

"God," Maddy whined, head falling back against the door as his stupidly big cock nestled itself deep inside her and the pleasure and pain takes her breath away. For a moment, she's not sure if breathing is still an option until he starts steadily moving and as with everything, Rafe does—it's rough and she can barely contain the moans that tumble out of her mouth.

His grip on her thighs is bruising and with every harsh thrust, her back is slamming back onto that door but she can't even find it in her to care. Her eyes flutter for a moment and she tries to keep them on him, tries to keep her focus because she can't deny that he looks so fucking good right now—all focused with groans and grunts escaping his lips as he hammers into her walls.

But it doesn't last, it can't when he's being this rough, fucking her into the door and making it impossible for her to focus on anything but the way he was pounding into her. "Fuck, baby. It's been too long, too fucking long.." He groans through gritted teeth, "Think anyone can fuck you like this? Think Jacobs can fuck you like this?" And Maddy's pathetic moans filling the room do little to keep him from trying to pick a fight with her like usual.

"Shut t-the f—"

"This is my fucking pussy," Rafe continues and each words is followed by a harsh thrust that pressed Maddy against the door over and over and Maddy's hands are trembling, scrambling to hold onto him, to assure she doesn't lose her grip with how weak her legs are starting to feel. "Mine. You're all mine, Maddy."

"Fuck you. I h-hate you.." Maddy cries out, legs tightening around Rafe because she doesn't belong to him or anyone but also because his dick is splitting her open and she can't decide wether she wants him to stop or keep going.

"Yeah, I know. You hate me so much you letting me pound your cunt. That's how much you hate me, huh?" Rafe laughs, his hands holding her up like he can feel she's about give out completely. Maddy's brain feels like it's short circuiting as Rafe goes at a pace too brutal to keep up with.

A couple of nasty words sit at the tip of her tongue for Rafe but they won't come out, a sentence refuses to form in her mind. "F-Fuck..fuck!" Maddy can't—won't ever get past how mindblowingly good the sex was.

"Mm, y-you..you're.." Maddy starts mumbling despite how her eyes are rolling back and she's seeing spots in her vision, "You're j-just some half-decent sex," Maddy chokes out and Rafe cocks his head at that, amused smirk on his lips. "Half decent?" he breathes out as Maddy clenches around his fat cock.

Maddy's about to make it worse, seconds away from telling him Nate has fucked her ten times better when he brutally pounds into her, "Rafe!" she screams as he repeatedly hits that sweet spot and she knows it's retaliation for calling their sex decent. It only makes Maddy want to say something worse.

She's gone though, whatever curse words she's throwing at him are coming out in blubbers and moans and with the way he's pounding into her, Maddy's surprised the door is still holding. "Mm..mmm..y-you you..y.." Maddy rambles absentmindedly, her words lost between the moans that are escaping her lips as Rafe's thrust only get sloppier and faster.

"Can barely get through your sentences, baby. You sure the sex is only half-decent?" He teases and Maddy knows that somewhere deep inside, that comment irritates her but right now, with his cock hammering into her, there is absolutely nothing that she cares about apart from the pit she can feel in her stomach right now.

Maddy whines, high and soft because the exhaustion is starting to catch up to her. She needs to come. "God, you look so fucking good right now, can't believe I lasted a month.." Rafe almost growls as his hips stutter and his own orgasm draws closer and closer. "Need it..n-need you.." Maddy moans before she feels herself being pushed over the edge and her blissful orgasm spills out of her. Rafe has a couple more thrusts in him before he's following suit and with a deep low groan, he's creaming inside of her.

For a few seconds, there was only silence between them, accompanied by the sound of their heavy breathing. Rafe’s forehead pressed against hers, a rare moment of calm between them both. It was a rare occurence in their particular situation—an interlude between their constant fighting or fucking. This moment, existing somewhere in the space between, might have been the closest they ever came to being normal.

The muffled roar of cheers and music swelled from downstairs, snapping the quiet like a rubber band. Rafe eased her back to the ground, and Maddy stepped away, her legs shaky but her resolve intact. She caught her reflection in the mirror, her makeup slightly smudged, hair tousled. Sighing, she adjusted herself as best she could.

A towel landed unceremoniously on her head, startling her. She turned, glaring at Rafe, who stood there with a half-smirk like he’d done her a favor.

“You expect me to wipe with this?” she asked, holding the towel up with a grimace. “Where did you even find it?”

“Too good for a towel now?” he mumbled, shaking his head as he reached for something else. He handed her a clean napkin with a smile.

She snatched it from him without a word, cleaning herself quickly before tossing it into the small trash bin by the dresser. When she straightened, he was behind her, his arm slipping loosely around her neck, his lips brushing her ear as he murmured, “Wanna get out of here?”

She did. God, she did. But instead of saying so, she turned, her expression hardening. “You can’t act like that toward Nate again. Or anyone,” she said firmly, her tone daring him to argue.

Rafe’s eyes rolled, the dismissive motion igniting her frustration. “Go fuck Jacobs if you think he’s such a saint,” he shot back mockingly, leaning against the wall like he owned the place.

Maddy raised a brow, the edge of her lips curling into a challenging smirk. “I don’t want to fuck Nate. But I can fuck him if I want to. That’s what I’m trying to make clear to you.”

His jaw tightened, his blue eyes flashing with something dark and unreadable. “I don’t need you to make shit clear to me,” he bit out, his voice low and rough.

Her own temper flared, her voice sharp enough to cut through the tension. “Watch your fucking mouth.”

And just like that, the delicate peace shattered.

Here they went again.

masterlist

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron fanfiction #maddy perez #outer banks #obx #euphoria #rafe fic #rafe smut #rafe cameron smut

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florencechase · 21 hours ago

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So I came across the Mayfair Witches thing with Lestat and Felix, and like pretty much everyone on here I was bummed but then I though about it for a very long time, went through the books again and… here’s how I think they can still make it work. Just as a disclaimer though, I’ve only fully read IWTV and TVL, and am currently like 1/3 through QOTD, so if there’s anything in the books after that that disproves my theory I’m sorry! But since the Lestat/Felix arc takes place towards the end of IWTV, I thought I’d still give it a go.

So the main issue here that people bring up is that if Lestat taught Felix to “cull the herd”, he can’t be book Lestat because book Lestat admits to only killing the “evildoers”, so why would he tell Felix to be so merciless? The answer: it’s complicated.

Lestat, the book and the show version, is unfortunately (or fortunately because that’s part of what makes him so interesting) a man who often does the opposite of what he says. I took a closer look at his first moments with Gabrielle after he turns her, and we have a similar situation in which he’s teaching her how to kill. Here’s an excerpt from it:

“I found a victim as soon as we had crossed the river […] [a]nd as I lured the victim out of the tavern, as I teased him, maddened him, and then took him, I knew I was showing off for her, making it a little crueler, more playful. And when the kill came, it had an intensity to it that left me spent afterwards.” (TVL, p. 147)

When he’s teaching others how to kill, he likes to show off. Simple as that. I’m sure the victim he chose was a criminal, like most his victims, but the point is he never told Gabrielle that. To her knowledge what Lestat just did was brutally murder some random man. Two pages later we have the following passage when Gabrielle makes her first kill and it’s the guy on the horse she ends up stealing the clothes from:

“I was shaken. The innocence of her victims didn’t trouble her. She didn’t fight my moral battles. But then I didn’t fight them anymore either, so why should I judge her? Yet the ease witch which she slew the young man – gracefully breaking his neck when the little drink she took was not enough to kill him – angered me tough it had been extremely exciting to watch. She was colder than I. She was better at all of it, I thought. Magnus had said, “Show no mercy.” But had he meant us to kill when we did not have to kill?” (TVL, pp. 149-150)

Lestat obviously doesn’t feel comfortable killing innocent people, but there’s not one scene in which he either tells someone he’s having moral dilemmas with it, or tells others they shouldn’t kill innocent people. It’s his thing, and it’s his struggle, but he never shares it until he writes about it in TVL. Here’s another excerpt that highlights this:

“When [Louis] says I played with innocent strangers, befriending them and then killing them, how was he to know that I hunted almost exclusively among the gamblers, the thieves, and the killers, being more faithful to my unspoken vow to kill the evildoer than even I had hoped I would be?” (TVL, pp. 434-435)

The key phrase here is “how was he to know”, so Louis had no idea! All this time he spent with Louis, and he never told him that’s what he was doing! Which brings me back to the show, to the reunion moment where Lestat tells Louis “I don’t like to point out my virtues.”

Of course, in the context he’s talking about not telling him he saved him at the trial, but it’s a pretty general statement about himself and it’s true, so far, in the book. He only kills innocent people, never tells anyone about it. He saves Louis at the trial, never tells anyone about it. And while I’ve seen some theories about how him not telling Louis he saved him was part of some pact he made with Armand, I’m just going to take things at face value here until the show proves otherwise.

Lestat always claims he’s “evil” in the books, but he does a whole bunch of stuff to disprove that. I think part of why he doesn’t let people know his good deeds is because there’s a part of him that wants to be perceived as the “evil monster” that he sees himself as. It’s the biggest irony ever for Lestat out of all vampires to claim he’s evil when he’s never acted with malicious intent (in the books, but I would even say in the show as well but the show is more complex in that regard).

The big thing about Lestat, which would also set him apart from show!Louis is that he does his thing and lets others do their thing. He doesn’t interfere with others, doesn’t tell them how to live their lives “the correct way”. Sure, he has many heated discussions about it with Nicki, but those are not him telling Nicki he should live according to his philosophy just because he thinks it’s the correct way to view life. Nicki hates himself at that point, which just gets worse with his way of thinking, and Lestat’s trying to pull him out of that. Nicki’s worldview is actively harmful to him and at least part of the reason for his eventual demise. But that’s not really relevant here, so I’m just going to leave it at that.

Which brings me back to Felix and Lestat. Did he, at some point, go out of his shack to kill people to show Felix how to do it? Not necessarily. The show doesn’t say he did, he could’ve simply just told him how to do it, he did after all figure it out himself too. It’s pretty intuitive I suppose for a vampire, and even when Claudia does her first kill Lestat isn’t shown killing first. He waits in the car with Louis and Claudia manages just fine.

Lestat knows what’s in their nature as vampires, but he himself doesn’t follow it at all times. It’s implied in one of the excerpts above, when he says he’s “being more faithful to [his]unspoken vow to kill the evildoer than even [he] had hoped [he] would be.” He’s not holding himself to any strict rules or high standards here. He’s trying his best, and if he takes an innocent life, he probably feels uncomfortable about it (while he secretly enjoys the feeling) but he’s probably just like “oh well.”

And with Felix, it could absolutely be a situation of do as I say, not as I do. He teaches him what’s in their nature, but he himself chooses to do differently. That, to me, sounds quite a lot like book!Lestat.

Besides, another aspect I’d like to point out is the definition of the word “cull”. Since English isn’t my native language, I had to look it up to really get all the nuances it implies. Here’s what google says:

“Selective slaughter”. Now here’s where I might be wrong and please correct me if I am, but since there are parallels to Darwin in MW, couldn’t that also imply selectively killing a particular group of people? As in, weed out the evildoers, or the weakest who don’t have a chance of survival anyways (as Lestat does after Louis tries to kill him)? The latter would make sense with the Darwin parallel. What we see in MW may be skewed through Felix’ perspective. I haven’t watched MW, but these things happen all the time in IWTV. Killing mercilessly may be only his interpretation of what Lestat said.

TL;DR: Lestat understands vampiric nature well enough to teach others how to kill “like a vampire” when he himself still chooses to do differently. He also doesn’t “like to point out [his] virtues” which is why he never actually told anyone he only kills criminals.

#iwtv #iwtv theory #interview with the vampire #amc iwtv #iwtv amc #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #iwtv felix #i’ve gone through this three times now and i’m still not sure i should post it but i guess i will #maybe i’m missing something super obvious idk #but it made me feel better about it so maybe it’ll make someone else feel better too

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fallen-abel · 2 days ago

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uhhhh someone should go check on Abel. I don’t think he’s doing well.

After not hearing from Abel in a day and hearing a bunch of sad songs from his room, Lucifer goes to check on his eldest son.

Lucifer: *knocks, holding a plate of pancakes* Abel? Are you okay in there? Are you awake?

Abel: *covers himself with the blanket more* Go away please. I’m fine.

Lucifer: *not liking that answer* I made you breakfast! Pancakes! I’m trying a new recipe for extra fluffiness!

Abel: *speaking up a little louder* GO AWAY! I’m not hungry.

Lucifer: *looks uncomfortable but knows he can’t force Abel to talk to him* Geesh. It’s like Charlie’s high school years all over again. Okay Abel! I’ll just leave these out here for you. Just eat them before they get cold. And I wanted to remind you that you have a doctor’s appointment today.

Abel: *sits up and shouts* CANCEL IT! I’M NOT GOING!

Lucifer: *pauses, stunned by Abel's outburst. He frowns, placing the plate of pancakes on the floor outside the door.* Alright, that's it. I'm coming in.

Abel: *groans, pulling the blanket over his head as the door creaks open.* I said go away.

Lucifer: *steps inside, crossing his arms.* And I said I'm coming in. What’s going on, Abel? This isn’t like you.

Abel: *his voice muffled under the blanket* Nothing's going on. I’m just tired.

Lucifer: *sits at the edge of the bed, keeping his tone gentle.* Tired? Or heartbroken?

Abel: *freezes, the lump under the blanket shrinking slightly as he curls in on himself.* ...How did you know?

Lucifer: *sighs, placing a hand over where he assumes Abel’s shoulder is.* I’ve been around long enough to recognize the sound of a broken heart. Plus, I heard you playing every sad ballad Earth ever created.

Abel: *peeks out from under the blanket, his eyes red and puffy.* I messed everything up. I told Peter how I felt, and for a second, I thought he felt the same. But then he... he said it didn’t happen. Like I’m not worth it.

Lucifer: *his jaw tightens, a flash of anger crossing his face.* Peter said what to you?

Abel: *looks down, fiddling with the edge of the blanket.* He said... ‘This never happened’. I thought... I thought we had something, but I was wrong.

Lucifer: *takes a deep breath, trying to reign in his temper.* "Abel, listen to me. That has nothing to do with your worth. Nothing. Peter’s actions reflect his cowardice, not anything lacking in you."

Abel: *tears begin welling up again.* But it still hurts, Dad. I can’t even look at myself without feeling like an idiot.

Lucifer: *cups Abel’s face gently, forcing him to look up.* You’re not an idiot. You’re brave. You opened your heart to someone, and that takes courage. Peter’s the one who’s a fool for not appreciating you. And I promise, this pain? It won’t last forever.

Abel: *sniffs, leaning into his father’s hand.* It feels like it will.

Lucifer: *smiles softly.* It feels that way now, but trust me. I’ve had my heart broken too, more than once, and yet here I am. You’ll heal, Abel. And when you do, you’ll see that you deserve so much better than someone who can’t even admit how he feels.

Abel: *nods slowly, though his tears don’t stop.* Thanks, Dad.

Lucifer: *pulls him into a hug, stroking his hair.* That’s what I’m here for. Now, you don’t have to go to the doctor’s appointment if you’re not ready, but you do have to eat something. I made those pancakes with love, you know.

Abel: *smiles faintly through the tears.* Fine. I’ll eat.

Lucifer: *grins, standing up.* Good. Because I’d hate for them to go to waste. And Abel? You’ll get through this. I promise.

Abel: *watches his father leave, feeling a small, comforting warmth despite the ache in his chest.* I hope so.

#fallen abel #heartbroken abel #abel hazbin hotel #abel #abel hazbin #hazbin hotel abel #ask abel #hazbin hotel #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #ask lucifer #Lucifer is Abel’s parent

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ladyloveandjustice · 3 days ago

Text

A Million Almosts- a Natsume Yuujinchou Fanfic

Here's the first part of the little fic about an older Souko and her feelings about Reiko I've been writing. It might be a while before I have time to do the second part, so, I thought I might as well post it and try not to put too much pressure on myself.

---

A Million Almosts

It was such a long time ago. Why can’t I just forget about her?

When Kana suggested a family trip to the pastoral paradise Souko spent so much of her childhood in, Souko had agreed happily. And they were having a lovely time. Her granddaughter loved running through the unspoiled nature, screaming her little head off. Her daughter was taking so many pictures Souko wondered how she had any storage left on her phone. And her wife was just soaking it all in, asking Souko all kinds of questions about the time she’d spent here.

She should just be relaxing and having fun. It was silly how her stomach turned whenever she caught a glimpse of that forest, how she couldn’t bring herself to walk there with her family even though it looked as beautiful as ever, how she was so afraid of strolling to the next town over.

Why was Natsume Reiko still haunting her like this?

Of course, Kana noticed Souko’s sighs and frowns. Souko could never hide it from her when anything was wrong. “It’s been bothering you, hasn’t it?”

Souko flushed, ashamed. “I’m so sorry. It shouldn’t matter anymore. I just…I just want to know if she’s okay. If want to hope that her life got better after...me.”

Was it hurting Kana, knowing this was something she still worried about? How could she even be thinking of the past, instead of focusing on her wonderful present? Why was this regret as sharp and biting as ever?

But Kana simply took her hand, rubbing gentle circles on her palm with her thumb. “Souko, you have nothing to be ashamed of. It's natural to remember your first love, and it's natural to want her to be happy. Did you think I’d be jealous? Honestly!”

Souko shook her head, eyes burning. “I know. It’s silly. I know you better than that.”

“I remember how relieved I felt I saw Emi again with that big grin on her face. I'd never judge you for wanting the same. You should go. You might not find anything, but either way, you’ll know you tried, and it will be a load off your mind.” Kana cupped her face, gently wiping her tears.

Souko put her hand over Kana’s and leaned forward, kissing her deeply.

So here she was, strolling through Reiko’s hometown, her nerves jangling. Now that she was here, she wondered what she should even do. The chances Reiko still lived here were very slim, and the chances Souko might just run into her on the street were even slimmer. Should she go around and just ask random people her age about Reiko? What had she been thinking, honestly?

She remember how lost and clueless she'd been when she first walked through this town as a child, trying desperately to find Reiko. Apparently she hadn't changed much.

She was just considering turning around and going back when a boy suddenly tumbled out of nearby grove of trees. He pitched forward as if he’d been shoved, fell head over heels down the grassy slope, and finally skidded to stop when he reached the sidewalk in front of her, knees and palms hitting the concrete. He hunched over, panting. Then suddenly his arm shot straight up in the air, and he cried out, jerking his arm like he was tugging on something. Then there was a gust of cold wind, one that made Souko shudder, and the boy dropped his arm. His whole body seemed to relax, but his breathing was still shallow and strained. He glanced over his shoulder.

The people in front of Souko had halted, and she could see people across the street staring too. A man in front of her asked if the boy was okay, and he nodded. Souko heard a mumbled “I’m sorry.” Then the man walked away quickly, giving the boy a ridiculously wide berth, even though the boy hadn’t moved from the ground and was clearly not okay. His head was bowed and he was shaking slightly.

Souko rushed forward, dropping to her knees. Her back protested at this, but she ignored it. “Are you hurt anywhere? Do you need to go to the hospital? I can help.”

“Thank you, but I’m fine.” The boy looked up at her and Souko felt like she’d been hit by a truck.

Golden eyes with curious cat-like pupils. Soft, fine hair framing delicate features. A perfect, carefully practiced smile. An ugly bruise on the forehead, and she could almost hear her voice saying “Don’t worry about it.”

“R-Reiko!” She gasped. She scrambled to her feet, stumbling backwards. The phantom of her first love had appeared, gleaming in the sunlight, looking just as she had the day she met her. What on earth was going on?

The boy blinked at her, stunned, and she came back to herself. No, of course it wasn’t Reiko. This was just a child who looked painfully like her. As impossible as it seemed, that was all it was.

She ran her trembling fingers through her hair, trying to appear calm.

“Sorry about that, you just looked like someone I used to—"

But the boy’s eyes widened and he looked up at her intently.

“You knew my grandmother?”

“Grand…mother?” she said faintly.

The boy’s expression had transformed. from practiced politeness to something raw and eager. “My name is Natsume Takashi. Natsume Reiko was my grandmother. Did you know her?”

“Oh…” Souko breathed. A grandson. Of course. Reiko had grown old just as she had, and had a family now, just like she did. A twinge of nostalgia and excitement rushed through her. That meant Reiko had people she loved, surely. Just like Souko had always hoped, Reiko wasn’t alone anymore. Maybe she was even happy.

She couldn’t imagine Reiko as a grandmother, but she wanted to see it, wanted to see Reiko with her grandson, gray in her hair and a smile on her face.

She smiled at Natsume Takashi. “It’s very nice to meet you. My name is Morinaga Souko. I did know your grandmother briefly, back when we were teenagers. It was a long time ago though, she probably doesn’t remember me—”

Natsume Takashi let out a loud gasp, jumping to his feet so suddenly that Souko stumbled back again. “You’re Souko?! You’re really Souko?!”

“Er, yes?”

The boy’s face split into the widest smile Souko had ever seen. It was almost blinding, that smile, so different from polite one he’d worn earlier.

It reminded Souko of the first time Reiko had truly smiled at her, right after she gave her the blue candy. It had been so warm, so dazzling, such a contrast to that empty, bland one she usually sported, the one that didn’t even reach her eyes.

That smile is the best thing I’ve ever seen, she’d thought at the time. I want to make her smile like that until it’s as natural as breathing to her, until she never needs to fake a smile again. I want to see that smile for the rest of my life.

She imagined, she hoped, that Natsume Takashi had learned his smile from Reiko. That she smiled at him like that all the time.

“I can’t believe it! I’ve always hoped I’d meet you one day!” The boy was practically vibrating with excitement, for some reason.

“I…I’m sorry, I don’t understand. You’ve heard about me?”

Just then, she was interrupted by a grumpy meow. The strangest cat she’d ever seen was stalking out of the grove of trees and down the grassy slope. Its head was enormous, almost the size of his bowling ball shaped body. She had no idea how it wasn’t snapping his little neck—if it had one at all.

Natsume Takashi didn’t seem bothered by its appearance. “Nyanko-sensei!” he called out to it. Was that seriously what he’d named the cat? “Nyanko-sensei, look! It’s Souko! Can you believe it!”

The cat made a grumbling sound like it was actually conversing with the boy, and Souko couldn’t help it, she burst out laughing.

Natsume Takashi flushed. “Ah, sorry. That must have seemed strange…”

“I like talking to my cat too, don’t worry. But it’s like yours actually answers back! How cute.” Souko wiped her eyes, and a genuine smile returned to the boy’s face.

The cat reached the boy, and it climbed up on him and settled onto his shoulder, making her laugh more. But then the cat gave her a long look, its unsettling pitch black eyes staring a hole through her. She shivered slightly, and Natsume Takashi lightly bopped that cat on the head. “Sensei, you’re making Souko uncomfortable.”

Then he flushed again. “Oh, sorry! I-I shouldn’t be calling you that. I apologize for being disrespectful, Ms. Morinaga, I—”

“Souko’s just fine,” she told him. He looked disbelieving at this. “I mean it, you can call me Souko, your grandmother did. And what do you like to be called?”

“Oh, uh, people usually just call me Natsume. I understand if that’s confusing for you though, with my grandmother—”

“No, Natsume’s just fine. But could you tell me how you know who I am, Natsume? Did…” Did Reiko tell you about me? She wanted to ask, but then she got a tap on her shoulder.

“Have you not noticed all the people moving around you two? You’re blocking the sidewalk.” The woman’s tone was extremely nasty, a little over-the-top for the situation.

Natsume looked mortified and immediately started apologizing, but Souko simply turned back to talk to him. “There’s a park near here, I think. Would you mind if we went there to talk?”

“Of course not! I’d really like to talk to you.”

As Natsume nodded eagerly, Souko noticed that the bruise wasn’t the only injury he was sporting, he had some cuts on his arm, long thin scratches, and his nose was bleeding slightly. “We can also treat your injuries…I have some ointment and other supplies with me.” Her granddaughter was prone to mishaps, so she’d taken to keeping some medicine and bandaids in her bag.

Natsume’s cheeks turned a faint pink “It’s really fine. Don’t worry about it!”

Souko’s heart squeezed. He sounded so like Reiko. She’d always said the same thing when she’d arrived with random cuts and bruises. Like she was so used to such a thing it wasn’t even worth thinking about.

So Souko said what she’d wished she said back then. “Let me worry all I want. I just want to help you out.”

The boy looked a little surprised, but he nodded. The woman behind them cleared her throat, apparently incapable of walking around them, so Souko and Natsume got moving.

As she walked beside the boy, she couldn’t help but notice more similarities to Reiko. Little things she still remembered even after all these years. Like Reiko, this boy was incredibly alert. Not in a jittery way, he carried himself calmly just like she had, but whenever there was the smallest noise, his eyes would quickly flit in that direction. He’d scan around him, like he expected something to jump out at any minute. When they entered the park, he stared at an empty spot of grass for several seconds, even though there was nothing there, just as his grandmother had often done. He slipped into a casual protective stance, one she only recognized because she’d studied Reiko so intently in her youth. He shifted his weight, subtly shielding her, shoulders tense and eyes hard.

She’d always swooned when Reiko did this, but now she just felt annoyed that this teenager thought he needed to protect an adult from…whatever. She was getting up there, yes, but she wasn’t helpless. But she forced down her irritation. Maybe like Reiko, he wasn’t used to adults looking after him.

She sat Natsume down on a park bench, and he finally seemed to relax. She tended to him immediately, taking out her supplies. He looked sheepish, but submitted gracefully. She dabbed a little ointment on his bruise, cleaned his cuts, and put on band-aids on him. “I’m hope you don’t mind the dinosaur pattern. My granddaughter loves them”.

“I don’t mind,” Natsume laughed. His laugh was easy and light, another thing he shared with Reiko. Souko handed him some tissues, which he obediently pressed to his nose. She sat down next to him, and finally finished asking the question that had been burning this whole time. “How do you know my name, Natsume? Did your grandmother tell you about me?”

Natsume’s eyes lowered. “Not exactly. I…have something sad to tell you about Reiko.”

Souko’s heart sank. She somehow knew exactly what he was going to say. “Go ahead.”

“She…my grandmother passed away”.

Souko sucked in a deep breath. Her eyes burned. She couldn’t cry about this, it would be silly to cry over this, she’d only known Reiko for a short time, so many years ago. But she’d always hoped that she’d be able to apologize to her one day. That she’d be able to see Reiko’s happiness and Reiko could see hers.

“I’m so sorry for your loss. Was it recent?” She hoped he didn’t notice that her voice was shaking. But the pity in his eyes told her he did.

“No. My grandmother died before I was born.”

Souko sucked air through her teeth. “How…how old?”

Natsume looked at her miserably. “I don’t know exactly, I’m sorry. I think it was probably somewhere in her mid-to-late twenties. Though it could be early thirties.”

“Mid to late—” Souko couldn’t help it, tears were falling fast down her face now. So young! So young! It wasn’t fair at all. Reiko hadn’t gotten to meet her grandchild. Reiko hadn’t been able to see her daughter grow up. She’s hardly had time to enjoy being an adult… Why did Souko get that joy, and Reiko didn’t?

Natsume dug around in his pocket and handed her his handkerchief. She was surprised at a teenage boy carrying one, but she took it and dabbed her eyes. Natsume looked at her sorrowfully.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” she said.

“Don’t be. Thank you for caring about her so much.” He said softly.

“But, if you never met her, who told you about me?”

Natsume hesitated. “It was…a friend of hers. I’ve been going around trying to find out more about my grandmother, talking to people who knew her. She told him what happened, and he told me.”

That was surprising. She wondered if Reiko had told him about her bitterly, angrily. She wondered if Reiko’s friend and grandson knew how completely she’d failed Reiko. But even if that was the case, she was just glad Reiko had a friend to talk to.

“I need to tell you something else,” Natsume said, his voice suddenly urgent. She raised her eyebrows.

“What is it?”

“Reiko wanted to see you again. She came back to the forest the next day, and she waited the day after too. But then she assumed you weren’t coming back, and she never went back to that forest again.

Souko’s mouth fell open.

“She…she did?” Souko squeaked. She felt like her heart was going to burst and rip a hole right through her. She clutched a shaking hand to her chest. “I-I wanted to see her again too, I wanted to apologize so badly, but I got sick. I was in bed for two days, but I did come on the third day, I swear I did.”

Natsume nodded, like he’d already known that, which was strange. But then he said, “When I heard the story, I thought it might be something like that. Reiko…she tended to assume the worst.”

Her tears were falling thick and fast now. She was absolutely soaking the kid’s handkerchief. “You’re sweet to say that, but It was my fault, if I hadn’t said what I said…All this time, I assumed it must have hurt her so much she didn’t want to see me again, it hadn’t even occurred to me that we’d missed each other.”

“You couldn’t have known. And Reiko didn’t begrudge you either, I’m very sure of that. It wasn’t your fault you got sick. I’m guessing you came as soon as you could.”

“I couldn’t even walk far without collapsing the first two days…I dragged myself there as soon as I could, and I waited every day for two months…” She started laughing uncontrollable, hiccupping so hard it hurt her throat. “God, it’s so incredibly stupid, isn’t it? An utterly ridiculous misunderstanding!”

“Did I upset you by telling you this?” Natsume said. He was looking over her face anxiously, like he could unlock a way to fix her distress if he concentrated hard enough.

“No, no, I want to know the truth.” Souko sniffled. Now that the shock was wearing off, a strange warmth was filling her. “Reiko really didn’t hate me? She still…wanted to be friends?”

“She cared about you a lot,” Natsume said softly. “I think if she’d learned the truth, she’d have felt just as distressed. But neither of you were really at fault. It was just bad luck…and Reiko just gave up too quickly. It wasn’t about you. She was just too used to being rejected.”

It honestly didn’t feel real, learning Reiko hadn’t hated her for saying that thoughtless, awful thing. That despite the stupid gossip she’d believed too readily and parroted so cruelly, Reiko had still wanted to see her. Reiko had cared. If they hadn’t missed each other, Reiko would have heard out her apology, and maybe even forgiven her…

Even after these years, that comment had been one of her biggest regrets. She’d relived it over and over again in her mind, agonizing, wishing she could go back and change it. And Reiko’s grandson…her sweet grandson had lessened the weight of it all.

She wiped at her eyes one more time, trying to pull herself together.

“Thank you, Natsume. It means a lot that you told me this. Is it..is it all right if I ask you a little more about your grandmother?”

“Of course!” Natsume’s eyes lit up again.

Natsume’s cat—what was it, Nyanko-senpai?—had been watching them this whole time, almost as if he were listening to the conversation. But now he yawned, and settled down into Natsume’s lap.

“Is she related to you through your mother, or your father?” Normally she’d include “or are you blood related at all?” as her own daughter had been adopted, but this boy looked far too much like Reiko, it was obviously genetic.

“My mother,” Natsume said.

Souko wondered if Reiko’s daughter looked as similar to Reiko as this boy did.

“Would it be all right if I asked how Reiko died? You don’t have to answer if that’s too much.” But she longed to know. She hoped it had been something quick, something painless. She hoped it hadn’t been a drawn out, painful illness. And if it was, she hoped Reiko had spent that time with her family, getting all the goodbyes and love she needed.

Natsume’s face fell again, and he started fiddling with the sleeve of his hoodie. She was about to apologize for asking, but Natsume said, “I’m sorry. I don’t know how she died.”

“Your mother didn’t tell you?”

“My mother died soon after I was born. My father died when I was young too, so I couldn’t ask him if Mom told him anything.”

The boy said it matter of factly, in the tone of someone used to saying this. Souko’s mouth went dry. Her chest ached.

Not only had Reiko died young, but her daughter had too? And her grandson had lost both his parents? It was awful, truly awful. If both mother and daughter had died young, was it something genetic? An illness? Would it happen to Natsume Takashi too?

She didn’t want it to happen, not to boy who radiated kindness the way Reiko always had, but who didn’t mask it like Reiko tried (and usually failed) to do, who was full of obvious love for the grandmother he’d never met. Who carried such a terrible burden, but still looked at her with gentle eyes and comforted her about her small tragedy.

She was seized by a sudden desire to protect him, to rush him to the best doctors in the world, to fight anything that would dare hurt him. She knew Reiko would have felt the same.

But she controlled herself, wadding her shirt in her hands.

"I'm sorry," she said again, trying not to let how upset she was bleed into her voice.

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago."

She paused, her desire to ask more questions battling with her desire not to poke at this boy's tender spots. He seemed to notice, because he said, "It's really fine. Please ask any question you want."

She nodded. "...Do you know anything about your grandfather?”

She said it far too awkwardly. It wasn’t that she felt jealous exactly…it’s just she wanted to know Reiko had been happy with him, the way she was so happy with Kana. She wanted Reiko to have gotten the love she’d deserved. She couldn’t help but imagine what could have been, and she wanted to be sure whoever this man was, he’d given her a better life than she could have…

“I don’t know my grandfather either. No one knows who he was. He wasn’t around after my mother was born. Reiko raised my mother on her own.”

Her insides went cold. Her hands started to shake.

“He left her alone?” The pure ice in her voice startled Natsume.

“I mean, we don’t know that for sure!” Natsume said hastily. “Something could have happened to him. I’ve been looking for information on him too. And uh, I haven’t been able to find much, but I’ve found some things indicating that he might have been in a…dangerous position? Possibly a dangerous profession? I can’t say much more, but it seems complicated. So he might not have…abandoned her. I’m hoping he didn’t.”

Oh, he better have died or something else like that. Because if he didn’t, I’ll kill him myself. But knowing she shouldn’t tell this poor kid about her plans to murder his grandfather, she kept her voice neutral as best she could and said, “I hope so too.”

She couldn’t imagine anyone having Reiko in her arms and not treasuring her, she couldn’t imagine anyone leaving her behind…well, maybe she couldn’t talk, as she’d abandoned Reiko too, hadn’t she? She should have tried harder to find her and apologize to her. So it wasn’t like she could claim she hadn’t hurt her, that she would have made her happy.

But still, what kind of garbage man would leave someone as wonderful as Reiko? Leave her alone with no help raising the child he was equally responsible for! Why was it that Reiko had to endure abandonment, to care for her child alone, to die so young, while Souko was surrounded by love, had a wonderful family, owned a thriving flower shop—she felt like she’d somehow sucked all the happiness out of Reiko’s life, and stolen it for herself.

“Are you okay?” Natsume asked tremulously.

She forced a smile. “Yes. So, I take it there’s nobody else you can ask about your grandfather or her passing?”

“A few of my relatives might know, but I wasn’t in a position to ask them.” He smiled a bit ruefully.

Not in a position to ask? What the hell did that mean?

He seemed to notice her confusion and clarified. “I was passed around by relatives a lot when I was younger before I settled here. They generally didn’t like me asking questions or talking about…” he stopped, looking a little pained, and Souko’s heart broke for him all over again.

Reiko had never said anything, but Souko had sort of picked up she’d lived with relatives who didn’t like her. Maybe she’d noticed the signs because she’d been dealing with the same thing. It wasn’t that her relatives had been cruel to her, they’d just been…not very interested, and sometimes exasperated. It was always made clear to her that they were doing her dad a huge favor and she better be grateful.

So she’d bent over backwards to please them, doing all the chores she could, anxiously trying not to make them feel burdened or frustrated. But no matter how she tried, it never seemed to work, so she’d gone to the forest to be alone at times.

Had Natsume Takashi’s relatives been the same way? What kind of monsters would refuse to answer the questions orphan who was trying to know the family he never got to meet? And “passed around”—so none of them wanted to give this sweet, thoughtful boy who’d been through so much a stable home?

“Your relatives should feel ashamed,” she said fiercely. “They should have answered your questions. You deserved the answers.

Natsume looked briefly startled and then shook his head. "It wasn't like they were bad people. I was just a very difficult child, and it troubled my guardians, so that made it hard to talk."

The cat made a small "hmmph" noise, and Souko barely restrained herself from doing the same.

She suddenly realized who else Natsume Takashi reminded her of. Natsume was reminiscent of someone who wasn’t like Reiko at all. The way he apologized so quickly, for things that weren’t even his fault, the way he was always looking at her carefully, looking for any hint of sadness, anger, discomfort, and reorienting himself to make her comfortable, the way he made excuses for people that hurt him. He’d likely spent his life apologizing for existing, pushing down any unpleasant emotion, and blaming himself for the cruelty of others.

He was just like her when she’d been younger.

She could see the pain etched on his face when he talked about these relatives. The pain that was probably etched on her face, the same pain she’d seen in Reiko’s face.

What had they done to him? Anger flowing like molten lava inside her. Reiko would have never stood for someone treating her grandson like this. How dare they.

Natsume, of course, seemed to notice her anger and immediately tried to soothe her. “Like I said, the Fujiwaras- my foster family- are extremely kind. They’ve truly made me feel welcomed and cared for. I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life. I… don’t think I could ever repay them.”

Souko let herself relax a little. It was true he seemed happy. He had far more confidence than she’d had as a child, and he was calm and content. He may be eager to please, but he wasn’t desperate. And she could tell he really meant it about his foster family too. The affection in his voice was almost overwhelming.

She hoped Reiko had been able to find that kind of refuge. Even though it seemed more and more unlikely with every thing she learned.

“I’m glad to hear that, Natsume. You deserve it. And a child repays a parent by finding their own happiness. That’s all I wanted for my daughter, and I’m sure it’s all they want for you.”

Natsume looked a little startled but then he grinned. “You're very kind. I’m glad I could tell you what my grandmother wasn’t able to. I’ve always wanted to do that, ever since I heard the story.”

Now it was Souko’s turn to fidget awkwardly. “Well, thank you for finding it out and telling me. I can tell you really care about her, even if you never met. Going around researching her like this is a big committment. Is it just because she’s your family or…?”

Natsume rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I…well, I found out she lived in this town and…well, we’ve got some similarities. Um, I think both of us lost our parents and lived with someone else. And you’ve probably noticed I’m a little…” He ducked his head, face going red as a tomato. “…strange.”

There was a slight shame in his tone she didn’t like. “All the best people are,” she told him firmly.

He let out a surprised laugh at this, and looked her in the eye again. “Thanks. It’s just, I know people felt the same way about Reiko, though. That people…said things about her.”

Myself included, Souko though ruefully.

“And well…I’ve found people who accept me. People who truly make me feel like I belong. I want to know she had that too. I want to know that, in the end, she was happy. I shouldn’t get to have all the happiness for myself.”

Hearing her own thoughts echoed back at her was startling. She and this boy truly had too much in common. But hearing him say it unlocked something in her. “You deserve your happiness. Reiko would want that for you, I’m sure of it.”

Natsume gave her a very gentle look and nodded. “You too.”

She looked away. So he’d noticed their similarities as well.

“It’s actually kind of selfish,” Natsume assured her, like it would be deeply wrong if she thought too well of him. “I think sometimes I wish for her happy ending because that means…well, all this will last for me too.”

“That’s normal,” she reassured him. “It’s normal to want that.”

He nodded slightly, rubbing his eyee.

She leaned back one the bench, feeling almost dizzy with all this information, and her guilt on digging so deep into this boy’s past. “I’m sorry, I know all those questions must have been overwhelming.”

“Not at all,” Natsume said hastily, before Souko could continue. “I’m glad you want to know so much about her. But um, could I ask you some questions too?”

Souko blinked. “Of course.”

Natsume ducked his head shyly, petting his cat.

“Well, since I saw—heard the story, I’ve always wanted to know if you were doing well.”

She’d expected a question about Reiko. Why was he interested in her? “Yes, I am. I’m very happy.”

“I’m glad,” Natsume said, his eyes shining. “Can I ask what made you come back here?”

“Oh, I decided to take a trip with my wife and our daughter and grandaughter.”

She braced herself. The chance he’d turn disgusted and hostile was sizeable, especially in a small rural town like this. Even in Tokyo, it was a risk, and she’d endured responses like “I mean she’s not your real wife, you know. Even if you got married overseas, it doesn’t count here. Those little certificates you get from Shibuya and other places aren’t real marriages either, you know.” And then there were the obnoxious comments where she had to force a smile and fend off with a light-hearted comeback. (“Wow, I would have never thought you were a lesbian by looking at you” “Yes, sadly we don’t come with manufacturing labels”). And even among those progressive enough not to say things like that, there was that moment of shock and awkwardness to contend with.

But there wasn’t even a flicker of surprise across Natsume’s face, it was like he’d already known this about her. “That’s great! I bet you have a wonderful family.”

“I do,” she said, still reeling a bit. Was she just really obvious when talking about Reiko? Or had Reiko…known? And somehow that had come across in when she told her story?

Well, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was this boy’s acceptance made her feel a little bit like Reiko would have accepted her. Even if Reiko had turned out to be straight (Souko was still unclear whether she was, she knew sleeping with a man didn’t confirm anything, she’d done that once herself, and her own wife was bisexual) perhaps she wouldn’t have shunned Souko.

“You seem so much more confident now too. You seemed a little shy back then—I mean, uh, that’s what Reiko told her friend.”

“I was definitely a shrinking violet compared to her,” Souko chuckled. “But, I became an adult, I had to fend for myself and I learned some confidence. My wife bought out a lot of my confidence too. She’s just as competitive as I am, so I had to keep up with her”.

Natsume smiled, “So you still like to play games? Like you did with Reiko?”

“Sort of. I save the games like the pebble throwing one for my granddaughter,"She laughed. “Kana, meanwhile , is absolutely obsessed with beating me at shogi. I keep telling her it’s never going to happen. Just like I’ll never be able to run as fast as she does.”

Natsume had that tender, wistful look about him again. “Souko, I want to show you something la—”

“Natsume!”

The boy whipped his head around and then waved to two teenagers in the distance. A tall boy with shaggy hair and a girl with a shoulder length bob were walking up the park path, and they made a beeline for Natsume. As they approached, Souko noticed the shaggy-haired boy was squinting at her suspiciously, for some reason, his eyes flicking tensely between her and Natsume.

“Taki! Tanuma!” Natsume said happily. “What are you doing here?”

“We were on our way to meet you! We’re doing a study group remember?” the girl named Taki replied.

“But I thought that was later—” Natsume checked his watch and groaned “Agh, I didn’t realize what time it was.”

“Who is this, Natsume?” the boy called Tanuma said urgently. He was still looking at her with suspicion.

“Oh, this is Morinaga Souko! She was a friend of my grandmother’s!”

Natsume saying she’d been Reiko’s friend made her flush a bit. It was nice to hear, but it also didn’t exactly feel like the truth. But if Reiko hadn’t been a friend, what was she to Souko?

Souko was derailed from that train of thought by a little squeal from Taki. The cat immediately jumped off Natsume’s lap and ran for the hills with surprising speed considering it’s stubby legs and rotund body.

But instead of looking at the cat, Taki clapped her hands excitedly, beaming at Natsume and then Souko. Tanuma and Natsume looked flabbergasted by this, as if they’d just seen Taki throw away 100 million yen.

“A friend of your grandmother’s! Natsume, that’s so wonderful.”

Natsume smiled shyly. Taki turned to Souko now, and with a quick bow she said “My name is Taki Tooru. It’s nice to meet you.”

Souko responded likewise, still a bit taken aback by the girl’s enthusiasm.

“I lost my own grandfather, so I always treasure when someone can share memories and stories about him,” Taki explained. “Natsume, I’m so glad you can talk to someone who remembers her!”

Natsume shifted with embarrassment, but that soft sincere smile remained. “Thank you. I’m really glad too, that Souko was willing to talk to her about me”.

Tanuma had stopped glaring at Souko, and now was looking at Natsume with such deep fondness that it was a little bit overwhelming to watch. Most of the tension had left his body too, though he still seemed slightly on guard.

“Natsume, you’re the one who’s been helping me out,” Souko told him. “It means a lot to me that you told me what happened to Reiko, and how she really felt. It’s wonderful to know she has such a caring grandson. It sounds like you have something to do with your friends, but if there’s anything I can do for you, let me know.”

Taki actually clasped her hands at this. “Thank you!” she said at the same time Natsume did. Tanuma unsuccessfully hid his laughter behind his hand. Natsume’s lip trembled like he wanted to start chuckling too, though he forced a stoic expression. Taki looked chagrined, but Souko patted her hand.

“I can tell you’re a wonderful friend. It was nice to meet you Taki.” Her eyes flicked over to Tanuma, wondering if she should say it was nice to meet him considering they hadn’t spoken, but before she could decide, he gave his own polite bow. “I’m Tanuma Kaname. Sorry I didn’t introduce myself sooner.”

“That’s all right. Nice to meet you, Tanuma. You can both call me Souko.”

Natsune rose from the bench, looking a bit trepidacious. “Um, Souko, how long will you be staying around here?”

“Another week.”

“Would you mind…would you mind meeting up one more time? I want to talk a little more. There’s a few more things I want to tell you about Reiko…and something I wanted to show you.”

“I’d love to!” Souko said and his face lit up.

They exchanged phone numbers and agreed to meet in two days. Tanuma and Taki told Natsume they could skip the study session if he wanted to talk more to Souko, but he shook his head. “I need to get ready,” he said cryptically.

Souko waved goodbye as the three kids left. As they walked away, she heard Tanuma whisper “what happened?” as he looked worriedly at Natsume’s bruised face. Natsume said, “the usual” with a wave of his hand.

Tanuma didn’t look any more satisfied with Natsume’s flippant answer than she would have been, and Natsume seemed to realize this, continuing “Souko patched me up, actually.”

“She seemed so nice” Taki said, still elated. “A friend of your grandmother’s! How long did that know each other?”

A friend. She thought as the kids voices grew distant, as they walked further and further away. It had been nice to hear Natsume say it, and it was nice to hear Taki say it…even if it wasn’t exactly true.

She and Reiko were an almost. Almost friends. Almost understanding each other. Almost two girls who fit their broken pieces together. There were a million almosts, a million things Reiko could have been to Souko—almost confidants, almost lovers… almost Souko’s first rejection, her first heartbreak, the first time confessing her feelings cost her a friendship….or she was almost Souko’s first kiss, first time, first awkward teenage romance. There was a completely different life she could have led, so many paths they could have gone down.

But they’d both taken their own paths instead. And on Souko’s, she had her granddaughter waiting, waving a stick with chubby fingers, demanding to see which of them could throw the farthest. She had her daughter, who would complain about Souko coming back so late and remind her they were all going to a drive-in movie, and there was Kana, ready to listen to Souko’s story, ready to crow she was definitely going to win at Shogi this time, ready to cuddle close to Souko and ask for comfort when she inevitably lost. She had her flower shop, the young girl she was training to take it over, her art, and her sewing circle…

She could only hope Reiko had something like that on her path too. At least she could take solace that a little piece of Reiko was living on, in the eyes and heart of Nastume Takashi.

She wondered what the boy was going to show her.

---

And that's it for now! I hope the conversation wasn't too tedious, I was just caught up in thinking what Souko's reactions might be to all the tragic details of Reiko's (and by extension Natsume's) life. It would be tough to have all that dumped on you at once. I could dither over it more, but it's a fanfic, I'm not gonna burn myself out over it.

Hoping to do a very short part two and then finish up the whole thing with part three. I'll just see how people respond to it I guess!

#natsume's book of friends #natsume yūjin chō #natsume yuujinchou #fanfic #reiko natsume #natsume reiko #souko morinaga #morinaga souko #takashi natsume #natsume takashi #nyanko sensei #tooru taki #taki tooru #tanuma kaname #kaname tanuma #my fanfic

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