#I’m awful but I’ll do better | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lopsushi · 2 years ago

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Hi again, thanks for being apologetic and cool about it. I just wanted to inform you because I know a lot of people don't know the difference. Sorry if this is getting picky or me digging too much into it, but macaques outfit is also very hanbok shaped (if that makes sense). The dress/skirt itself poofs out a lot, which doesn't seem to be a characteristic of hanfu's. Also, from what little I have seen, the "jacket" (for lack of a better term) of a hanfu goes down to the waist or doesn't have a jacket at all. The jacket of an average hanbok would stop right below the chest, though I imagine that part was unintentional.

Of course, im not an expert on Chinese clothing. I just know hanboks because I'm korean, but I did find these kinds of very, very basic guides for differences between hanbok's, kimonos, and hanfu's. I really hope this doesn't come off as rude, I just like to tell people when I notice it because it is common to see people get them mixed up.

I’m just gonna crawl into a hole and cry on my sins.

Again sorry for the mistake but I TRULY appreciate the help of you showing me the differences. I hope I didn’t get you mad or anything including others. I’ll make sure to be careful better. Thanks again for showing me this and again I’m sorry. I never meant to mix tradition clothing. 😖

#ask #I’m awful but I’ll do better #again sorry my dear #hopefully I didn’t make others mad #again thank you for the help and advice

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stuckinapril · 11 months ago

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There will not be a single moment next week in which I’m not running around doing something

#full time studying / volunteering at the refugee center / volunteering at two clinics #literally ab to have a meeting ab shadowing a doctor who’s researching ftd dementia in like 50 minutes #organic chemistry research 5 days a week bc ur bitch is trying to get published #hitting the gym 6 days a week. I’ll probably have to move it to mornings soon #meal prep #trying to snag a lowkey part time job #trying to read 30 minutes before bed #somehow have 2 fit a social life into this #I’m excited bc I finally feel like my time budgeting abilities are being put to the test BUT holy fuck .#studying will be my no 1 priority always. literally catch me doing anki cards in any pocket of free time I have #but I better live up to the challenge of juggling everything else too #ik I got this. and these are all things im choosing to do. not things I have to do #and I love being busy so it’ll be so fun #just had to be in awe for a second bc I used to admire girls who’re like this. and I am officially about to be one of them #p

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thescribbledoutwords · 5 months ago

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I was rewatching Sweet Tooth for the 4th time this week and realized something in the first season.

#my art #sweet tooth netflix #sweet tooth show #ignore the hands #I’m yet another artist who falls under the « can’t draw hands for shit » category #Hopefully I’ll get better soon #gus sweet tooth #sweet tooth s1 #IGNORE THE AWFUL QUALITY I BEG #I draw on my drawing tablet #And post on my phone #and I could not for the life of me figure out how to send it #so I had to do a funky work around #So it shitted the quality #Just look at it from a distance and it should be fine

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luminous-orb · 13 days ago

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half the time I think “oersted and streibough are strong narrative foils” it’s like, a complex and well constructed thought about how they bring out each others worst qualities. and the other half of the time, well, it’s just This Image

#live a live #live a live spoilers #yeah I’ll maintag this fuck it #unpopular opinion but I like that wizard #I think if someone has that complex of a haircare routine circa 1400 u have to respect it even if they’re kind of an awful person #and he’s got just enough sympathetic qualities to be compelling #and I think livealive is a better game for having a Wizard Cuckoldry Plotline like literally who else is doing it like them #my complex thoughts are mainly abt how streibough being a fundamentally selfish character highlights oersteds complete lack of self regard #like. streibough’s at least being evil to further his own concrete goals #odio’s ideals are pretty flimsy and don’t actually make him happy. so ultimately he’s more just blindly self destructive and nihilistic #it’s not a super common character dichotomy but I think it’s rly strong #that’s all I’m gonna put in the tags but do know that I’m literally always thinking about this #feel free to reach out for more of Julia’s LiveALive Thoughts (please please please please)

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chimielie · 11 months ago

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going on hiatus (official) bc i’m in deep emotional distress. love u all please stay healthy and happy

#i’ll be back in a couple weeks hopefully i’ve just been having an awful time of it at home 😞 i know i’m not very active anyways but i really #am trying! life is just very difficult #lp #lots of love 🫶🫶🫶#update if u saw the last post: he’s doing a lot better ahhhh #bye again for now

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yorshie · 1 year ago

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Pea Brained Bounce House time. Was thinking about the earlier Mikey bit. Then I started thinking about Warm Coded. And then:

Raph’s got like. This thing, when you’re working out with him. He uses the cover of coaching you to stare.

It’s not until he’s got you doing chairs against the concrete wall, and you look up in pleading askance on how much longer you’ve gotta hold the position, that you finally catch the way his attention is trained on the swell of your stomach. The uncanny focus of his gaze on your thighs as the muscles start to tremble and seize up.

Raph likes to stare.

#……. hm. is this gonna be a blood orange fic?#are they gonna converge?#looks at the blurple fic I’m already planning. fuck. this might be a blood orange fic #but how would that even work?#Mikey is so much harder to set a boundary with than Leo and Donnie #and what about my head canon of Mikey sneaking into Raph’s bed during nightmares?#I could just see. raph wakes up and readers all against him all warm and cuddly #he goes for the sleepy morning action #but his hand knocks against Mikey’s shell and there’s like the awful dawning realization that his little bro is cock blocking him #cue Mikey waking up cuz you smell all warm and he wants action too #only for the same realization to have th both going >:[ at each other #raph gets up like fuck this I’ll be a good boyfriend I’ll go get breakfast. you want pastries doll? I'll get you fucking pastries #and Mikey’s like fuck that I’ll be a better boyfriend I’m gonna go make homemade juice #and then reader is like. wtf where are my cuddly buddies? Why is everyone so pissy this fine morning?#<- zero clue they are in the middle of a pissing contest #goes to take a morning shower and gets interrupted cuz Mikey doubles back #youngest sibling gotta take advantage of the older one being out and all that #I could just see him all annoyed halfway to the Kitchen before going *wtf am I doing* and backtracking to corner reader in the bathroom #raph drags reader back in his room and closes the door in mikey's face when he gets back with pastries #cuz personal space (nest) privileges and it was cold outside and damn it he's was a good boyfriend he deserves cuddle time #also he didn't get mikey any pastries #proceeds to show reader there's more than one way to enjoy a pastry #……… have to think about this one actually plot poly is hard #raccoon rambles

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grmpgm · 7 months ago

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ok executive dysfunction is kind of ruining my life actually

#i have an incredibly time-consuming project i NEED to finish and i genuinely don’t know if i can #i’ve started which is good but i’m horrifically behind where i need to be and i’m just so overwhelmed #i technically have enough time to finish it i think? but it’s my final project so i literally cannot miss this deadline #my professor is really cool + likes me but it’s already been so long w/out me bringing it up #and wtf am i supposed to say? yeah. i WANTED to work on it. i just chose not to????? like wtf #it’s just so humiliating and i’m so behind i don’t know wtf i’m gonna do #it’s worse bc it’s an animation and it’s gg related and i really really wanted this to be good and i wanted things to be different this time #kind of funny bc i’m actually mid getting an adhd diagnosis rn but it’s just so fucking awful because i do this constantly #it fucking sucks so much i feel so helpless and i don’t know wtf is wrong with me. i’m so tired of letting everyone down constantly #it’s so bad rn i literally cannot do anything. it’s humiliating like WHY can’t i just be a functional normal person #it fucking SUCKS because i KNOW if i had any self control or work ethic whatsoever i could be really fucking successful but i don’t.#so i won’t be i guess.#and i KNOW it’s tied into a bunch of different stuff too but like gd i DO NOT care i just want to be functional #worst case scenario i have an A in the class so if i completely blow it i’ll at least pass? hopefully?#i might be able to talk my prof into an extended deadline but it’s so embarrassing bc i didn’t need one in the first place.#i have literally no excuses #it just makes me so upset because i just keep doing this over and over and i don’t know how to stop it or how to get better #and LOL sorry for posting this here i just feel weird talking to anyone personally about this (+ currently avoiding responding to messages!)#it’s just like. man if i can’t get a fucking grip i will literally waste my entire life. Oh Well! LOL

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angelnumber27 · 8 months ago

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I’ve been so much more just.. idk happy I guess in general lately and I am so beyond thankful

#ive been making sure I do things throughout my days that I enjoy. things that make me feel good and make me smile #I’ve been working on changing my mindset- ie when I automatically think smth negative about myself out of habit I make myself aware of that #and then change the narrative. by reminding myself those things are not true.#I’ve grown to see I have so much more control than I realized. I think that’s the way it is for lots of us #I get to choose when I wake up if I’ll let the awful trauma nightmares consume me for my whole day and ruin it #or if I will say hey they’re just nightmares. I’m okay. I’m here I’m breathing and it’s another day #i could go on forever about this so I will stop lol #I’m just very very very very thankful #and working my ass off to create a better happier life for myself

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numerous-bees-in-a-skin-suit · 10 months ago

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please tell me how ur gonna use romelle's story I NEED TO KNOWWW

if you tell me yours ill tell you mine

dude I have SOOOOOOO many ideas. this is definitely more geared towards my rewrite—Romelle’s backstory for my dragon prince au is already pretty solid and is Secret rn—but!! I really want Romelle to be part of the rebellion, even if she’s just trying to start her own on the colony. she saw what’s going on firsthand, and she’s willing to do what it takes to make it stop.

now gimmie yours (threat)

#renblogs #this is an awful explanation #but it’s like 1am #and I’m so tired man #but I’ll be able to explain it more once I have a better grasp of what I’m doing with the rebellion #but I have a lot of ideas #oh also romelle is a tattoo artist of sorts on the colony #but I have to explain lore for that . So I’m just putting that out there

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whitehartlane · 10 months ago

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i know destiny had an off game today and made mistakes (still scored a goal though!) but i honestly love this kid so much, he’s a hard worker and you can see him improving with every minute he plays. he will make mistakes and he will have off games but that’s just par for the course seeing as he’s so young. i will always back our kids no matter their mistakes because young players need support and time to grow and destiny is already showing that he’s a deeply integral part of the team. he’s also fully coys, the way he pointed to the badge after the goal! 🤍

#i love dest i’ll always back him as i do with the rest of our youth #his insta post was so touching the way he said he’ll always fight for the team 🥺#it’s okay as a young player to have off games and to make mistakes as long as you learn from them and perform better next time #and it’s his first szn in the pl i’m so in awe of him

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weezerlvr228 · 3 months ago

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flippin boobahs!

#weezer #rivers cuomo #brian bell #patrick wilson #scott shriner #OKAH HI CHAT #i’ve been thinking #this tag will be just a rant not really weezer related #yk laufey ?#i was listening to her song ‘letter to my 13 year old self’ and just started overthinking about myself when i was younger #i just think about my younger self and get so sad thinking about her; i wish i could’ve done more for her #i was a huge introvert and talking to anybody made me super super anxious; so much so that my teacher noticed and had me join a ‘social #emotional learning’ group where we spoke about low self esteem and how to raise it and everything like that #i only left it in 8th grade because i didn’t wanna keep missing class for it; but it made me so sad to think i thought so low of myself #i would wear hoodies all the time and jeans because i used to hate my body a lot #which is awful to do in socal heat!#i think it started because in my family i was always stereotyped as the fat one; yk how mexican families are? they called me gordita for #the longest time; which made me incredibly insecure and only in 10th grade did i start showing my arms 😭 IK ITS DUMB BUT ITS SO WEIRD #i still can’t do it entirely; i’ll wear shrugs and things like that because i still am insecure about my arms sometimes but ive been better #i only really had one friend but she had a different lunch; so i was alone for most of the time on the swings by myself or sitting at the #lunch tables alone waiting for lunch to end and this noon duty came to me a lot and would talk to me since she felt bad i was always alone #while everybody else played with each other ; and i don’t know why i just broke down thinking about how lonely i was at the time #i’d go to the school’s friendship room everyday after that because it was just a teacher who let kids come inside her room to play games if #they didn’t wanna be in the heat and soon i became friends w the teacher and she’d play uno with me everyday; mainly because the room was #relatively empty until they got loom bands! and i was an expert on loom bracelets so i would help others make them and that was a confidenc #e boost; i remember being proud of myself for socializing like that LOL #i just get sad thinking about that time; i like to think that if little Lyss saw me; she would be so proud because i have friends;#a boyfriend ; good grades ; and i’m well liked and regarded. i hope she’s proud of my progress socially because it was such a leap #i wish i could go back in time and tell her how much better things get and how she won’t be lonely forever #…and to not online date. definetly don’t do that one.

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trashbaget · 8 months ago

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tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”

#it is awful having feelings for someone you know and have an established friendship with #but crushing on someone i barely know is knew to me and i legit feel like an idiot every time i do something stupid like this #i can’t just. talk to the guy #if i say hey and he says sup i say ‘sup indeed’ like what the fuck is that #i can barely even say hello to him #don’t get me wrong i’ve DONE it but most days i’m like #ah fuck there he is #okay you can do it just say hi #just say what’s up #and then he’s already gone #also. like. the setting we’re in is soooo not good for talking or flirting realt because um. it’s work he’s my coworker.. so um. do i fuckin #ask him for his number?? or to hang out??? but like. he’s kind of a stranger to me what do i want to hang out for 🧍#but like. i dont want to do that until i have at least one successful interaction #or like. an actual conversation.#which is gonna be really hard to manage because he doesn’t talk much at all to anyone and i really only talk if someone talks to me first or #i’ll say something absolutely idiotic and ridiculous (and honestly i do that no matter what)#anyway so um. i guess i’m just gonna keep making a fool of myself until i get it right and hopefully i don’t screw it up 🥴#i lost all my confidence in the last year and i cant do anything chill or smooth anymore (i was never that good in the first place but at #least i could PRETEND i knew what i was doing. like i could sell it. the whole weird and lost bit.)#anyway. i felt better for like 5 minutes when some guy at the gas station flirt failed with me on the way home. but that’s partly my fault #too oops. in his defense he probably could not see that i had headphones on bc upon mirror inspection they were well blended with my hair #but i was waiting to cross the street and this guy tried to like nod and smile and i did not know it was to me until i got to the other side #where the gas station was and and like. tried again and i awkward half smiled and saw his face get all mushy and confused like mine FELT 20 #mins before when i’d flopped so hard trying to flirt and by the time i’d processed WAIT i think he was FLIRTING WITH ME i was already gone 🤡#but at least it ended better than the poor 14yo who very confidently asked for my number #who. i shit you not. SCREECHED for a solid 44.5 seconds and bolted the other direction when i said sorry im 21 #his friends were standing there like wtf too and one was like i am so sorry about him 🤦#cheers to being fools universe

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just-rogi · 6 months ago

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#maybe I’ll make a legit post about this but I’m afraid of posting #a nuanced discussion on the pissing on the poor website #but…. white leftists have been getting awful entitled to the votes of black and brown people #and honestly? no. I’m sick and tired of white leftists telling black and brown people that we owe our votes to Jo fucking Biden #‘if you don’t vote for Biden just say you hate trans people’ yeah? what about all the Palestinian queer trans people #like…. actually I- a QUEER WOMAN - do not ‘owe’ my vote to anyone #I am Levantine arab American … i actually do not ‘owe’ my vote to a man who is trying to eradicate my culture #black and brown people are being massacred in this country and overseas and our blood is on Joe Biden’s hands.#for us it ISNT a lesser of two evils situation.. they are both slaughtering us #and I’m not saying that trump is better but I’m saying that I’ve SEEN what is happening to my black and Hispanic students I’ve SEEN the #inflated police budgets. I’ve SEEN my clulture on the news every fucking day for eight months being genocide #a fucking genocide of my people isn’t something you ‘get over’ because Joe Biden is the lesser of two evils for white momen and white queers #and if I do vote for him in September- which i probably will - then great. fantastic. but there is not a single person of color in this #country who is entitled to give that man their vote #every time I see one of my friends say they aren’t voting for either of them I say good fucking riddens.#white leftists need to sit down on this one. if you want our votes in November then tell your president to do something about it.#but dunking on cardi b on Twitter for saying she won’t endorse Biden isn’t the own you think it is #((I made a typo and said September not November)

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thnksfrthmmrs · 8 months ago

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#one of the things i hate about just like. the thoughts i have when i’m severely depressed is that i can’t even explain them to anyone #without sounding awful. like i genuinely don’t feel like i have anyone to talk to #like if i tell someone how i feel i’ll seem. selfish. and i would probably be told the way to make things better is to do something #i don’t wanna do #i can’t explain it fully because i’m not about to say what i’m thinking and feeling #idk things could probably be better if i communicated better but every time i communicate what i want i feel like it gets brushed off #then i feel rejected and stupid for asking and i never ask again and stay unhappy #i feel so stuck right now i guess

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blueish-bird · 8 months ago

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sorry if I don’t remember your name or conversations/experiences or basic things about myself, every few weeks my brain gets factory reset and I have to relearn how to be alive

#lighthearted but also serious bc what is going on here buddy #been feeling weird as hell these past few months #like I can remember some stuff… but it doesn’t feel normal to forget the names of anyone I haven’t seen/heard the name of in a few days #or forget about basic interests and personality traits and experiences and feel like a blank slate every day #idk like ultimately life goes on and I’m happy to live in the moment but it would be nice to understand why my brain is doing this #just thinking #meposting #I think my brain just. does this sometimes when I’m stressed. which is annoying #I recall (lmao) feeling similar during earlier parts of life so this isn’t *new* it’s just unexpected and much more disruptive as an adult #I’m feeling better about it than I was. after like. acknowledging it. bc my mind has not always felt like a sieve it isn’t always this bad.#whatever #I’ll tag as dissociation just in case it’s related/reminiscent and ppl don’t want to see that #dissociation #me and her go way back… haven’t seen each other in years though #she wasnt all bad! coping mechanisms can provide relief and a sense of safety #and as far as coping mechanisms go it’s not the most unhealthy. though it ranks high in ‘socially stunting’#I kind of miss the distance sometimes to be honest everything’s just So Much all the time #I’m so solid now #so stuck in the ruts of capitalism #fuck capitalism #I wish my imagination didn’t feel so dulled #sorry I love talking #and I don’t miss dissociation when I feel mentally present because I feel so Here with the people and things I love but rn?#it’s like a lose-lose bc I am not Here nor am I untethered. I’m heavy yet hold nothing #I enjoy being dramatic/poetic about it — I feel pretty fine. I just hope this isn’t a permanent and/or long-term state of existence.#like it makes me awful at my job I went from remembering a solid amount of the student body’s names (built up over a few years) to. like 5.#overnight it felt like. like Stressful Thing happened and I went to work and I couldn’t remember anyone’s names.#can’t believe I have to start from fucking scratch AGAIN I’d be better off quitting and working at a different school #bc at least then my lack of knowledge/remembering is justified rather than strange and seemingly rude #I’m getting better now but at the beginning of this it was blue screen in my brain all the time

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look-at-the-stars-tonight · 9 months ago

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I ran this morning AND wrote some AND made art and I’m so proud of me

#didn’t get any of my actual office work done oopsies #but in my defense it’s a Friday and also I did allot time for it I just ended up not doing it #anyways still proud of me!!! guys art is so so important and I know that and I preach that but I haven’t been doing it #and I just picked up a blank sheet of paper and did it #and is it good or anatomically correct? no but it was so FUN #and I’ve been working thought Tim Clare’s writing stuff and it’s been GOOD #I like this new series of exercises a lot better than the couch to 80k #they’re. the same honestly and I don’t actually care about his commentary all that much #maybe I’m just more present or more invested in them #I only ran for 15. min and then I had to call my brother to pick me up because the heat was gonna make me pass out :/#but also I TRIED #I fucking tried today #also did u know running is utterly miserable.#runners high is def a thing #felt amazing afterward #but holy shit it’s awful in the moment #my roommate ran a 25k recently and I talked to her about it and she said it never gets better #which is. not very encouraging #but also I Want To run as much of this 5k as I can #maybe I’ll be dead after but it’s fine I have a couple days to recuperate before the eclipse #WHICH IM ALSO EXCITED SBOIT. I’ve never seen a total eclipse before #goddamit my brain jumped to too many places #delete later #anyways. if u didn’t u should acknowledge ur accomplishments today #even if they didn’t feel like much #now I’m gonna go read a 115k fanfic that’s gonna wreck me #that’s my treat to me #I HAVE ACTUAL BOOKS TO FINISH. but NO. THIS is how I’m spending my time. and it’s fine I’m valid #I’ve been talking to all the lesbians about running too #and they’ve been so encouraging too!! I love my coworkers and very distantly related coworkers sm

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