#I’ve grown to see I have so much more control than I realized. I think that’s the way it is for lots of us

[moonandstarshyuck]

"Always."

lando norris x gn!bf!reader

notes: I haven’t written since 2019, so bear with me. I’ve found myself thinking about a little blurb for Lando recently (actually a lot of ideas, but this one is sticking with me more than the others at the moment).

For some context, Lando’s been receiving a huge amount of hate online (and in-person) recently. I haven’t been a fan for that long—I got into F1 this summer, in 2024—but I’ve grown to care about him. I was there for Lando losing the championship, and while I think we all knew it would come to this (Max winning felt inevitable) but I’m proud of Lando for pushing so hard this entire year.

Still, with all the hate directed at him, I’m seeing a new side of him, and I’m learning that he’s a person with feelings like anyone else. I can tell he doesn’t always have the highest opinion of himself and tends to take the blame for anything that goes wrong during his races. What struck me about this is how much I relate to it. I blame myself for things out of my control or when I mess up. What sucks with Lando is that his small, human errors are what so many people focus on to criticize him—whether it’s why he didn’t win the championship or why they think he’s a bad person (which he absolutely isn’t).

The inspiration for this came from an interview he did after the Brazilian GP. At that point, everyone knew it was almost mathematically impossible for Lando to win the championship, and he talked about struggling in the aftermath: “I literally couldn’t sleep for the first two days…So I did like, what, 36-40 hours straight. So that probably made everything worse. When you’re tired, you’re more moody, and that kind of thing…I was just sat at home alone. It probably would have been better if I had been with my friends. But they don’t live in Monaco. They also have lives and are busy doing other things. And I’m a big overthinker, so like the whole flight home, the whole week, it just played over and over in my head. What could I have done differently? Why did I do that? Why did I not do this? You start thinking of all the scenarios that you kind of blame yourself for, why it’s now not possible, that kind of thing. And yeah, because I overthink and I struggle with that kind of thing, that took a bigger toll in the days after. It wasn’t an easy time.”

And I keep on finding myself wishing someone could have been there for him in person, so that he was okay. So, I wrote this. The reader in this is dating Lando but is written as a gender-neutral character that uses They/Them pronouns. The reader also has a service dog, a Bernese Mountain Dog named Thunder, to help with their own depression and anxiety (I’m not an expert on service dogs, so this many not be 100% accurate).

They woke up that early morning to the sunlight shining on their face, streaming in from the window outside. The bliss of sleep clung to them as they lay there, cocooned in warmth, the covers snug around their body. They stretched lazily, blinking their eyes open.

Instinctively, they turned to look beside them—only to find the space next to them empty. It’s too early in the morning to be anywhere else but in bed, even for training, they thought. Lando should still be here.

The realization pulled them out of their sleepy haze. The past couple of days had been not kind to Lando. They knew that he had a tendency to keep his feelings bottled up and beat himself up over his perceived failures. They understood that feeling all too well—the guilt, the constant sense of disappointment, the nagging thought that were never good enough. They had wrestled with those feelings since they were a child.

It wasn’t something that had an easy fix. If they had found the answer, they would have shared it with Lando years ago. But they had learned that the best way to fight those thoughts wasn’t isolation. Talking to someone, writing feelings down, even simple positive affirmations—thought they might sound silly—could help push back against the negative spiral. They had told Lando this countless times.

But Lando had a problem with not wanting to “inconvenience” anyone with his emotions. No matter how many times they reassured him that they were always there for him, he struggled to let himself. They didn’t blame him—it was human to struggle against your own mind.

What made everything worse was the constant online hate. Every little mistake or sarcastic comment from Lando seemed to turn into an avalanche of criticism. They remembered the first time they’d seen him like a hateful comment about himself on Instagram—the little heart next to a cruel statement, paired with note: “Creator liked this.” It had broken their heart. How could the Lando they loved ever believe such awful things about himself?

After Brazil, it had been clear that he wasn’t okay. He’d barely spoken since coming home, choosing instead to himself. They had given him space, hoping he’d find a way to process his feelings. But by the second morning, when he still hadn’t come to bed—almost forty hours after returning home—they knew they couldn’t stand by any longer.

That morning, they rose slowly from the bed, a plan beginning to form in their mind. Lanod needed someone to step in—someone to remind him he didn’t have to face his struggles alone. They were determined to be that person for him.  They couldn’t take it anymore, seeing the person they loved so badly, punishing himself over his ‘failures.’

The first step was to confirm where he was. Grabbing their phone, they opened Twitch and navigated to Max’s stream. After a few moments of watching, they heard Lando’s voice—tired, strained, but unmistakably his. He was joking with Max, his words clipped, like he was holding himself together with sheer willpower. It was enough to break their heart. They opened their messages with Max.

Thunder's Owner

Lan’s streaming with you rn?

Sent at 7:48 AM.

After a few seconds, Max replied.

Maximilian

Yeah he’s on voice-only.

Sent at 7:50 AM.

Gonna do something about him?

Sent at 7:50 AM.

Max knew. Of course he did. He probably heard the exhaustion in Lando’s voice, the edge self-loathing that came with overthinking. They typed back quickly:

Thunder's Owner

Yeah

Sent 7:52 AM.

Going to unplug his setup and drag him out of there.

Sent 7:52 AM.

Maximilian

Lol.

Sent 7:52 AM.

I’ll keep an eye out for when he disappears.

Sent 7:53 AM.

Thunder's Owner

Thx

Sent 7:54 AM.

They quietly made their way to Lando’s gaming room and eased the door open. Lando sat at his desk, controller in hand, headset clamped over messy curls.  He looked worn down, his shoulders slumped as he focused on the screen. His voice through, muted put playful, as he bantered with Max.

For a moment, they just watched him. Even now, he was handsome, but the tiredness in his expression made their chest ache. He deserved rest. He deserved to feel okay. And he wasn’t going to get that by sitting here punishing himself.

As soon as Lando died in-game and leaned back in his chair, they seized the opportunity. They crossed the room, catching his attention when they came into view.

“Why’re you—” Lando began, frowning, but they didn’t let him finish. Reaching down, they unplugged everything from the wall.

“What the hell—” he exclaimed, spinning around in his chair.

“No,” they said firmly, cutting him off. “I’m not you hurt yourself anymore. Get up.”

Lando blinked, clearly taken aback. “You can’t just do that!” he protested, but they were already tugging gently at him arm, urging him out of his chair.

“Angel, what are you—”

“No,” they repeated, their voice steady. “Get up,”

Lando hesitated for a moment before letting out a resigned sigh and standing. They took his hand, leading him out of the gaming room and down the hall to the living room. He didn’t resist, but he followed like a man in a daze. Once they reached the couch, they turned to him. “Sit,” they said, pointing at the cushions. Lando raised an eyebrow, opening his mouth to argue, but they shook their head. “Stay.”

They turned to Thunder, who had been waiting for them in the hallway, and told him, “Thunder, guard,” while pointing at Lando.

The dog immediately moved into position, standing alert in front of the couch. Lando’s eyes widened slightly as Thunder fixed him with an unblinking stare. He shifted as if to get up, but Thunder’s stance didn’t waver.

“Jeez, I wasn’t going to get up,” he mumbled to Thunder, but Thunder just sat there and watched him until he fully relaxed back into the couch.

The thought ran through Lando’s head, how he had honestly forgotten how menacing his own dog could look. He knew Thunder was trained, saw reminders of it daily with how he interacted with his partner, but he was still shocked at how trained Thunder really was at that moment.

Thunder was still staring at him when he pulled out his phone from his pocket, opening up his texts with Max.

LN

I was just dragged out of my gaming room and told to sit on the couch and like a dog.

Sent at 8:05 AM.

Not against it, but how tf did they get so determined?

Sent at 8:05 AM.

Thunder’s watching me right now.

Sent at 8:06 AM.

I forgot how menacing he could be.

Sent at 8:06 AM.

*Picture attached.*

Lol.

Sent at 8:06 AM.

Max (The 1st One)

He’s like ‘try me, I dare you’

Sent at 8:06 AM.

LN

Yeah, I don’t particularly want to try him

Sent at 8:07 AM.

Max (The 1st One)

Lol.

Sent at 8:07 AM.

They told me before they did it

Sent at 8:07 AM.

I just let them. Lol.

Sent at 8:07 AM.

LN

Helpful. What if they were trying to  kill me?

Sent at 8:08 AM.

They wouldn’t have had to if you kept doing what you were doing.

Sent at 8:09 AM.

Lando’s let out a quiet sigh, Max’s words sinking in. He glanced at Thunder, who hadn’t moved, and felt a pang of guilt. He’d pushed himself too far again, and this time it had clearly worried his partner.

A few minutes later, his partner walked back into their living room. He thought they looked beautiful, wearing one of his old t-shirts and a pair of boxers. They were entirely focused on the bowl they were carrying, and only looked up when they got close enough to hand it to him. He gently took the bowl, looked into it and saw it was one of his prep meals. While not his favorite breakfast, he knew he just needed to eat first, so he started taking bites.

He glanced up every so often, and each time he did, his partner was just sitting there and watching him eat. Lando almost chuckled at his own thought that they looked just like Thunder when watching him, and he smiled into his bowl at the thought. His partner didn’t see his smile, but he continued to eat until he had finished the bowl.

When he was done eating, he set the bowl down, and his partner again pulled him up by the crook of his arm. He just let them do so, having a thought of what was going to happen next.

His partner led them both down the hallway to their bedroom, and opened the door, leading him to sit on their bed, then they turned around and went to close their blinds and draw their black-out curtains to cover up the sunlight from the window. They had turned on their bedside lamp earlier, and the soft orange glow of the lamp permeated the room. They walked past him again, going to close the door after letting Thunder in, then they walked back to their side of the bed, and pulled him to lie down against them.

As he settled against their chest, he felt a bit odd, it being a bit of a difference to feel how much he was loved by them. How much they cared for him. And he finally spoke again, “Thank you.”

“Always, Lan. Always.” They replied, pressing a kiss to his hair.

And for the first time in days, he let himself sleep.

author's note: got inspired to actually write something for once...ty @koalapastries for the inspiration (unknowing inspiration but ty) (also sorry for using your layout outline

comments & reblogs appreciated

and i made the dividers :)

[angelnumber27]

I’ve been so much more just.. idk happy I guess in general lately and I am so beyond thankful

[echo-and-dust]

now that my brain has somewhat unscrambled itself i have gotten most of my thoughts in order about season 3.

and the first thing i will say is: i loved it.

while it was gutwrenching and polarizing in some ways and i feel that i am entitled to financial compensation for what its done to my mental health, i loved this season for pretty much almost everything it did.

i cannot fault people for having issues with much of the characterization and plot choices made—that’s been the trend during the entire run of the show after all, and imo it’s a testament to the phenomenal way it generates nuance—but i wanted to share my feelings on the recurring opinions i’ve seen about some of these things.

first, i do not blame simon at all for the things he said in the final scene. he’s a child who has been receiving endless verbal and physical harassment on top of all the trauma he is still trying to heal from. he just watched his boyfriend lash out in anger and hurt—while not at him, but it must’ve been a close resemblance of how he might’ve seen micke act. at least, that's what i thought, though i've seen others say otherwise.

and yes, wille is not micke, but just because wille’s source of outbursts is different from micke’s doesn’t mean simon is wrong in drawing similarities. at least he's finally getting a true glimpse into what wille has had to deal with. i've honestly grown to like that they didn't have simon immediately comfort him though; wille's mental illness is not his fault, but it is his responsibility, and instead of pushing a message of unhealthy co-dependence, the show has simon be honest: "but i see that everything hurts you and that hurts me too." and to me, that's so important.

plus, it doesn't make their love any less genuine. wille is a victim of the circumstances; he is not evil, and he is not undeserving of simon. he just has a lot of growing and healing to do, a lot of unlearning and exposure therapy because he's still blinded by privilege even when he tries not to be.

speaking of, i have so many thoughts about wille that i feel like i need to save for its own separate post, but to sum them up: i'll still defend him with my life, and he needs to get the fuck away from that institution.

also, the fact that the responsibility of controlling simon's media decisions was placed solely on wille confused me at first like—why wouldn't they get a professional to give him proper media training?

then i realized, this could be the royal court's way of sabotaging their relationship. they knew that making wille the one to tell simon what he can and cannot say or post would create distance and animosity between them. despite the ramifications of simon's behavior on social media, it seems they still thought it best to have his boyfriend be the one to try to mold him into the system. because they knew that's how they could get rid of him. in conclusion, fuck the royal court (we been knew but still).

one of the standouts this season was their transparency regarding the show's politics. it not only works well with the show's arc (wilmon is public, everything's out in the open now and there's nothing to hide), but also it felt necessary at a time where censorship has been rapidly gaining momentum. it felt so refreshing for these characters to talk so openly about racial discrimination and queerphobia and class disparities, forcing both character and viewer to acknowledge that they exist and you should feel uncomfortable about it.

i don't think i can add much more to what was already said about it—most of the fandom is more eloquent and observant than i am anyway—i just wanted to reinforce how important this season is to myself and the story even with how controversial it is to fans right now. a lot of people may disagree with me and that's fine.

[nereidprinc3ss]

ok LOVED the ask about dybmn!spence headcanons … to add on to that (& please correct me if i’m wrong!!! i don’t mind at all if your opinion is diff than mine hehe) but i wonder if/feel like spence would get sort of condescending? like as reader gets more comfortable with herself you know? & never in an awful way but i think just leaning a little more into the power dynamics? like back in part 1 where he asks if it’s too much she says no and he goes “no of course it isn’t. you’ll just take whatever i give you won’t you” or smth like that and that part had me kicking my feet LOL like he’s not being inappropriate or playing on her insecurities but it’s just something i think fits! also in a couple of your other fics even if they don’t belong in this universe but like in relax (which is my favorite thing you’ve written btw ily) she says it’s too much and he goes “no it’s not” and essentially you can take it and. SQUEALS like it’s not in a gross way but it’s like deliciously condescending #toME idk maybe this is purely self indulgent but i do think that it’s something he would be into. like the “you can take it” OR OMG when he makes her use her words. DIES omg this is so long and all over the place i hope this made sense LOL but either way again i loved you expanding on the headcanons so much … love to hear what’s going on inside the perfect brain that brings us all these fics LOL kisses babe

i love you anon god bless the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs who turned into the fossils that created the oil that became the gas that fueled the car that drove your mother to the hospital on the day you were born

more 18+ ramblings

i’ve always thought that spencer has a mean side. and i don’t mean that as in classic degradation but as you said condescension. i think in the dybmn universe he’s been holding himself in check a lot, much more than we realize, because he doesn’t wanna overwhelm the reader or accidentally make her feel bad about herself because he knows she’s still fragile at this point. but it definitely sneaks into the way he speaks to her sometimes, like as you said in part one, and it’s definitely pretty clear in his thoughts in part three. and it’s like this weird dissonant motivation where on the one hand he wants her to know it’s okay to not think so fucking hard all the time and to just let him take care of her and on the other he genuinely wants to cultivate her ability to stand up for herself during sex and tell him what she wants. like when he says he wants her words he really wants her words, he wants to make sure she’s engaged and present and she doesn’t have to be eloquent but he does expect a response of some sort.

and then some of it is just because he likes seeing how desperate she gets for him like….. use your words or ask for what you want or whatever are all said with the same unspoken messages which are you’re a grown up so act like it or remember how smart you were five minutes ago or it’s so cute when i let you talk back to me and we pretend like i can’t fix your attitude the second i decide im sick of it

like he just really gets off on the implicit control he has over her, not because he has to forcibly take it but because she hands it to him and she trusts him with it and he LOVES being trusted, he wants to make sure she knows he’ll never break her trust and he’ll always take care of her even if he’s sometimes a little mean😁 he just loves reader BAD

but ya at the root of all the condescension is just a lot of genuine adoration probably because he’s sooooo whipped it’s sickening truly

[helixobesity]

🌀 Wish 🌀

Hey! Thank you so much for coming here on such short notice!

I know, I know I said it was an emergency

Let me explain in a minute!

But I just wanted to take a second and talk to you

I know it’s been a while since college

We never really talked about… that night

You haven’t forgotten have you?

When you let slip your little secret?

Oh come on don’t play dumb with me!

An accomplished athlete into feedism of all things?

God when I caught you stuffing your face in bed with that laptop open…

Yeah… yeah I remember we said we wouldn’t talk about it to anyone, and cross my heart I never did!

But that doesn’t mean I didn’t think about it

About you.

What I mean is… every relationship since then

I’ve made my partners huge

I don’t really know what clicked in me

But seeing you doing that in secret for just a little extra cash

It made me start to dive into feedism too

But I don’t care much for stuffing my face, but seeing someone else do it

That became addicting

Don’t hide how red in the face you’re getting!

I knew you couldn’t have grown out of it

And considering that extra pudge you’re hiding under that coat

You haven’t been resisting either~

Just a couple cravings?

Cheat days?

Oh no, it’s more than that

I texted you because… I’m the reason you’ve started putting on weight that isn’t going away

Your secret weekly stuffings, and then you’d work it all off right away

It hasn’t been working suddenly, right?

And let’s face it I saw how tight those jeans were when you walked in here

The emergency I was talking about?

Well, I made a wish a few weeks ago

With something very powerful, so to speak

Something that caters to very specific needs

Oh I can’t tell you that, it would break the wish

But I’ve thought about you as I’ve wandered through other relationships

It was never the same as that night

And you know it hasn’t been the same doing it alone

So…

I wished for exactly what I wanted

And that means you’re going to keep getting fatter now

And I don’t mean just chubby

I mean that you’re going to need someone around to help manage how much lard is going to be molded onto your body

I’m sure if I told you how big I wished for you to be, it would break its hold on you

But where’s the fun in that you know?

Oh! Thank you so much, yes, Just the one plate for me, the rest is for them~

I figured you’d get hungry during our little talk and ordered before you got here

And by the look in your eye you’re realizing you don’t have control over yourself anymore

You’re already grabbing the fork and stuffing your face, piggy

I think you’re better off canceling your plans for the next while

Why? Gosh, piggy, unless you want to go around and be seen as a naked, ravenous blob soon, be my guest

Or

You can stay with me and I’ll take care of you

Making sure the wish is fulfilled

Sound like a deal?

🌀 Good piggy~ 🌀

Now go on and eat up the rest, and we’ll hit up a couple more restaurants on the way back to my place!

🌀💿🌀💿🌀💿🌀💿🌀💿🌀

[stxrquotes]

yanqing & yunli except i headcanon yunli as audhd so it’s yanqing and his disaster gf

i’ve seen this one really really really sweet couple on insta, it’s a nt guy and his audhd wife and theyre so sweet. he takes the time to understand her and how their brains are different and it’s so lovely. anyways i kind of imagine yanli like that when their relationship develops more. especially because we got to see them outside of their squabbling in the last part of the tb quest—they work together well; they actually have grown to trust and respect each other (there’s also a dialogue if you choose to talk to yunli before confronting hoolay w/ feixiao where she compliments yanqing on his finishing atk and asks him to teach it to her—she even lightheartedly admits he might be stronger than her), and i feel that their trust and respect will only grow more with time. and of course they will always squabble and pick at each other

so to elaborate on audhd yunli, first off we all know how blunt and stubborn she is. her thinking is so straightforward that even her fighting style is “smash with big stick, everything die” (she prefers brute force over strategy or dexterity—doesn’t mean she can’t strategize, i just mean to point out that even in her fighting she gets straight to the point which i find amusing). i adore her so much my beautiful autistic daughter. special interest is swords. yanqing gets an honorable mention because he’s also obsessed with swords but i think he’s just a sword nerd who collects swords while yunli’s interest goes into the forging, the history, the personalities of the swords

yunli: we may both be obsessed with swords but i am obsessed with them in a much deeper and more autistic way than you could ever be

i have also considered though that yanqing could be headcanoned as having adhd; he’s impulsive, and i do still love the idea from pjo of demigods having an advantage in battle because of their adhd. reminds me of yanqing, he’s a hyperactive little dude bouncing all over the place in battle and idk. he’s also just. a teenage boy. so idk, remains to be determined

anyways i just hc that in all parts of yunli’s life except for anything having to do with swords she’s a complete mess and a ticking time bomb. everything in her room is a mess—except her swords (and old mettle is given the most pristine treatment). she’ll ignore any expectations put upon her unless it has to do with swords or something else she’s a little interested in. she has a few safe foods she eats on rotation in mass amounts.

also im imagining her in school and all i can picture is the leg bounce and the thousand yard stare. +10000 aura she doodles swords on all her papers. every project where students are given enough creative liberty and freedom to choose their topic, you fucking bet yunli is going to talk about swords in one way or another. idk how school works on the xianzhou zuming or frankly anywhere in hsr, but i guess that doesnt matter and i dont really care

also her sense of justice and tunnel vision with cursed swords. it’s so black and white to her (it has a lot to do with trauma ofc, but still i see that same kind of black/white thinking and extreme sensitivity to injustice as a trait on the spectrum).

i also would like to share headcanons about her sensorial and tactical development as a child lol. something about her screams sensory seeking. i use the korean voiceover, and i ADORE how they’ve voiced her and the direction they went. i haven’t listened to the english much, but from what ive heard she seems a lot more softspoken, which isn’t at all wrong or bad, it just is different than what i expected. in the kvo she’s got this monotone shrill going on that little girls with zero vocal control have and it’s fantastic. i hc she has no sense of volume whatsoever, can’t perceive her voice and doesn’t realize she’s shouting, things like that. it really fits with how she acted in her story quest, she’s just absolutely tone-deaf, both literally with her voice and figuratively with social cues, reading the room, etc.

practicing with old mettle has got to be so fucking loud, she’s throwing that shit around and it’s going CLANG CLANG CLANG and there’s no way she doesn’t have massive tolerance to high sensory input. for kids who are on the extreme end of high sensory needs, they’ll sometimes just seek out loud noises constantly, and of course, won’t realize it might be disruptive to others because they don’t even feel like it’s loud. so yeah yunli stims by throwing swords around because hell yeah. the fucking CLANG CLANG CLANG regulates her nervous system i just know it🗣️🔥

while some people are just born with dif sensory needs/issues, they can also develop due to your sensory experience, or lack thereof, as a child. kids who weren’t held/interacted with enough might have difficulty with lots of sensory input, while on the other hand (i dont know this one for sure, i am making a guess) i would think that a lot of exposure to excess sensory input might cause that kid to develop high sensory needs.

and that’s what i think with yunli would be part of her sensory issues, whether or not we’re even talking about autism—she grew up in the forgery around all that constant noise, not to mention the traumatic cursed sword event which could have exacerbated the way all that affected her nervous system because it also messed with her emotions and trauma is stored in the body AND she was a child, yadda yadda :3

i could keep going but idk this has been in my drafts for so long bc i kept thinking of shit and i didnt even talk that much about yanli

the reason i see them as disaster gf and nt bf is because although we’ve seen yanqing being a little shit, so much of that is about his maturity level as he’s still a teen. i just feel it and can’t articulate it well, i just feel that he’s got a calm spirit in there somewhere and as he grows he’s going to become so measured and patient and self-disciplined and it’s fantastic i want to see him grow into a fine young man (i know we probably wont but i can imagine it😞). it feels like that’s the direction he’s going with all the development from the recent tb quest, not to mention the parallels he has with jingliu

i hope this makes sense to others and not just me, for some reason i really see them as the wholesome nd girl and nt boy unlikely wombo combo cause yanqing has so much spunk and fire and yunli has so much spunk and fire but neurodivergently and they just burst into flames around each other but as they grow older it will wane and they will fan it down into glowing embers, soft and warm in the hearth; yanqing will hold her explosive spirit in his hands so gently, he’ll admire and understand her like no one else because somehow he just gets her, and she thrives in his comforting warmth. and when yanqing’s spirit crumbles and he loses that warmth and loses faith in himself, yunli can remind him of his strength and reinstall his sense of justice; she also brings the fresh autistic perspective of carefree innocence and autonomy that i feel yanqing needs in times where he might be overwhelmed by expectations or outside opinions. i just ugh i just . i love them i am going to throw up they’re beautiful and i just think that autistic yunli being understood by neurotypical yanqing is something that is so important to. society at large ,

[orbital-inclination]

Nightmare and rem, with ‘I’ for the ask prompt!

Prompt: I. Broken glass. WC: 927 Feat, angst! again! tentatively takes place in that unnamed AU i have going on. Nightmare and Rem argue about ethics and family. that's it. That's the fic. Thank you for coming to this ted talk, no i'm not sure how i got that from “broken glass” either.

----------------------

“Now, why would you do that? Really, Rem. You must work on your temper.” Rem gritted his teeth. He shook his hand and the numbness from his knuckles. Shards of glass sang with sickly sweetness as they fell from his wrist. “Shut up.”

“Watch how you speak to me. I can’t have my men getting the wrong impression.” 

Rem scoffed. He plucked a shard from between his metacarpal and brushing off his sleeve, stepped away from the cabinet. His frustration and anger and worry had gotten the better of him and he’d punched it on impulse. 

To put it simply, his soul was not used to being immersed in so much negativity. The negativity of this universe was overwhelming enough on its own but it was worse here, where Nightmare claimed his throne.

He felt less in control of his magic by the day. The thought scared him.

“Drop the pretense. We both know they’re more than soldiers to you.”

His counterpart stiffened. The tentacles slowed their languid movement. Rem eyed them warily. They almost seemed to have a mind of their own. A mind that sometimes betrayed his alternate’s first impulse. Occasionally, that first impulse was violence.

“Or...” Rem began just as slowly, aware of the very fragile line he was treading. “... are you not ready to admit that, yet?”

“Your attempts to provoke me will not succeed,” Nightmare finally deigned to turn around and look at him, hands clasped behind his back. “Speculation goes both ways. Did you think I wouldn’t catch the pity you feel for them? Killer tells me you’ve been smuggling snacks to Horror.”

Rem kept his face carefully blank. “I wasn’t aware food was something that could be smuggled in your own house.” 

“Ah, but this isn’t your house. This is my house and in my house there are rules that must be followed. One of those rules is that we adhere to a time when we eat and when we don't. I’ve implemented such things for a reason.”

“Rules that I might add, are useless as they are unnecessary.”

Nightmare scowled. “You are too soft with them.” “And you are too strict!” Rem snapped. “Do you not see how much you are holding them back?” Nightmare’s teeth flashed in a restrained snarl. “I do not appreciate what you are insinuating. Do you realize where they would be without me? Without us? Deadend timelines with no hope of a future, of change of any sort. To be stuck in that corpse of a plane for eternity is a cruelty even I would not wish on my worst enemy.”

“Because you provide this ‘choice’—” Rem lifted his hands to make air quotes. At this gesture, Nightmare felt truly affronted. “—you have grown complacent. Do you really think you have their loyalty, when all you have offered them is the bare minimum?”

A strange expression eclipsed his counterpart’s face. Rem did his best not to smirk. “Do you understand my point now? Loyalty is a choice. If given the chance to have something better, what do you think they will choose?”

A low threatening rumble thundered through his counterpart’s chest. He rounded on Rem, to do what, he wasn’t sure, but then Nightmare froze, and almost as quickly as he had turned, that growl transformed into a laugh.

“Ah! I see now. This was your attempt at sowing discord! Bravo.” he shook his head. A step taken forward, and Rem took one step back. 

“A decent try, I must admit, but you underestimated my confidence. This fear of abandonment... It was something we once shared. That’s true. But we’ve diverged enough from each other that fear is no longer relevant.” Nightmare smiled cruelly. “By the nature of the work they do for me... where else would they go? Who would take them in? They have no one. No place to call home. No family left but what little comradery they find in each other... oh? You are disgusted by my words again. Is it not the same for your den of thieves?”

“I would never pretend to offer a choice that did not exist.” Rem hissed. 

“Ah, you heard about what happened with Dust, hm? What happened with him was unfortunate but necessary. But I suppose I can't expect you to understand this. After all, it is more critical for me to feed on a constant source of negativity than it is for you. I wonder... perhaps that’s where this softness comes from. You can feed yourself easily enough in your universe, comparatively. But I am almost always hungry.” 

Nightmare’s eyelight, that deep sea foam green took on a malevolent glint and that Rem did not like. A shiver ran through him, of what could have been; a future he’d narrowly avoided by chance. If he had not sidestepped that axe, if Dream had not returned when he did… was this the kind of person he would have become? 

“I wonder how your brother handles his hunger? Afterall, you are actively chipping away at his source of strength, bit by bit.”

“I am not hurting him,” Rem said defensively. “I am alleviating the curse. The less it’s fed into the weaker it becomes, and the less strain he’s under!”

“Are you?” Nightmare said, softly and wickedly. “Or are you just limiting his potential? Perhaps it's not that he is enduring under too much positivity, but not enough. Consider if the solution to your problem is counter to what you believe.”

He felt sick.

Nightmare grinned. “Well... it’s something to think about, at any rate.”

[tiedsh0es]

Ok Silver. I feel like people just write him off as mean and don’t get how well-written he is, and how actually crazy a character like him staying till the FINAL 4 is. He never, ever would have gotten that far, never ever would have grown as much as he did if viewer voting was still in. That said, it’s because of this that I’m even more heartbroken that he didn’t get much of a sendoff in the finale.

Silver is such a complicated character, while his personality never changes he himself does change a little. He’s egotistical, and puts the show above everything else. But there are also moments where he shows he does try to make connections with people. I remember in episode 4, after he gets OJ voted out. He’s pretty proud of this! And tries to get the others in his team to join in on his enthusiasm, when they don’t take it in a good way Silver sort of shuts down. Crosses his arms and stands away from the group. He never really shows emotion; he just goes to the sideline and ignores things. He doesn’t really have the best social etiquette and because of his abrasive personality people don’t really want to try with him. But Candle actually involves him in things, even when he messes up with OJ she takes his hand and includes him into the group.

And in his speech he knows people don’t actually like him. He has to cross his fingers and hope he can sweet-talk his way out of it.

But Candle is there and he’s been practicing his powers for her, so he tries to show off his powers not realizing how much of an insult this is- and when Candle shuts him down there is a moment where he looks genuinely hurt before he- in silver fashion- shakes it off literally saying out loud to Cabby none of that! He’s never learned to actually show the vulnerable side of him. There is no proper communication here.

-

And the first part of the finale made me so- so hopeful!! The inner flame is such an important part to Silver and Candle’s character. It’s been mentioned and talked about since episode four, it’s what got them to first stick together. 

When the inner-flame takes over- and.. I saw a lot of people didn’t understand that Silver was NOT in control here, it was his inner-flame- it reveals the feelings he’s always hiding, he trusted that Candle believed in him, and “right when I finally felt like more than nothing” he feels betrayed. For a character that acts so egotistical to say that, he’s basically admitting he puts on an affront because he knows he’s unlikable and hard to get along with.

The inner flame is something he’s worked on, and gotten better at for candle. But he misunderstands the true meaning of it. And in his muddled up emotions he ends up hurting candle with it- the one person who has ever actually shown to care about him but not change him. He looks genuinely HORRIFIED that he’s done this. Finally his rash personality has real consequences. 

The first part of the finale was so good.. It put up so many stakes… it made me think I was going to get the silver send-off I’ve been wanting for like… actually a year 😭but then… Silver doesn’t really get to do anything. We never ever really get to hear Candle’s side of things, she just immediately forgives him… 

And they write off Candle as fine, as if she never got hurt in the first place as if her literal inner flame going out has no consequence. Silver mentions how he messed up but doesn’t really do anything besides that… He NEVER even got to conquer his inner flame!! That’s just a loose thread we never get to see! It would have been SO MUCH MORE impactful if Silver used his inner flame for another person, instead of using it for himself. If he mastered it to try and save Candle or even Springy or literally anyone!! But Silver didn’t get to do any of that!! All the consequences, all the episodes of him slowly learning he has an inner-flame for nothing?? Actually for nothing?? I’m actually devastated. He was so clever, so well-written, so complicated and this is how they ended his character?? I’m just so so sad.

I think the final episodes had a sort of writers-conflict, did they not  talk about how they wanted it to end?? Both episodes have very different stakes and feelings. It’s very sad that this is how they decided to end the final ep. I’m not happy with it. I have other complaints but Silver was what I was most disappointed with. Because even if there is a season 4 and he comes back for some reason they’ll never have the opportunity to show how clever he is, and let him grow as naturally as he did in invitational. (ok just realised both episodes had the same writer WHAT HAPPENED??????)

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Do you think HYBE will do anything about some of these boycotters? There’s some serious defamation going on that could have consequences for them (although maybe I’m overreacting and it won’t gain traction) but I wonder if they can do anything about it. This has really spiraled out of control imo. They clearly hate that man more than they love BTS because they’d be happy to burn down the whole company with BTS in it if it gets rid of Scooter, despite Scooter equivalents being present in pretty much every entertainment company ever.

***

I have no idea what HYBE intends to do but I don’t see them deviating much from how they’ve handled boycotts in the past, that is, ignoring them or offering a statement that addresses a tangential issue. Whenever there’s been a more direct response and/or donation, it’s always been spearheaded by the members themselves and as they are all enlisted until 2025, I don’t think that’s coming anytime soon but I could be wrong. Maybe Jin takes on the brunt for the group and says something, but again I highly doubt it.

One thing I am absolutely certain about though, is that a good 90% of those fully sucked in will turn full anti by the time Festa 2025 rolls around lol. I wasn’t sure about this at first, because like I’ve said it’s fine for fans to communicate to the company if they’re upset about whatever, but yeah now, there’s no mistaking what this is. It’s a pipeline I’ve seen hundreds of times.

It’s impossible to feed yourself a steady diet of the narrative that BTS is complicit in one of the most grotesque atrocities in recent history, act as though you hold them uniquely responsible for it being in your space, and not grow resentful of the boys and the fandom. Aside the fact the focus on BTS is misguided to begin with, the whole notion of ‘protecting’ these grown men from executives in their company is infantilizing at best, it’s a sentiment these people show only towards BTS rather than Tori Kelly, Beyoncé or Ariana Grande - all three working directly with Israeli-linked Jewish men, because none of these fans have developed a parasocial attachment to those artists they feel they can weaponize, the way they have to BTS. Like I’ve been saying, although BTS is far more removed than any American artist under a big music label, these Korean guys are the only people k-pop fans feel they have control over. It’s the kind of mentality to expect from toxic shippers, akgaes, and mantis. Those groups of people will always tell you the reasoning for their actions is for the greater good and for the benefit of the artist, and given in this case the subject is something as serious as the latest escalation of Israeli-Palestinian conflict, that’s certainly serious. But just like with every other case, the focus on BTS itself is misguided, in my opinion, and so the fallacy persists, which breeds conflict, which breeds even more resentment. From the boycotters, we’ll start seeing more thought experiments, narratives and conspiracies to explain the dissonance between what they expect and what is actually happening. Even if their demands are met this time, another topic will flair up these same behaviours in people already pre-disposed to this. It’s the most predictable pipeline in k-pop.

But as it so often is with things like this, most people won’t be fully honest with themselves about what they are, and what they are doing, and so even though it would be best to realize BTS might not fit the expectation they have of them, they’ll remain in fandom spaces, growing more resentful and constantly in conflict with other fans. Many of them are already multis and it’s only a matter of time (weeks) before the takes become painfully predictable.

Anyway I’ve rambled. I’m curious as to what you think HYBE will do:

*

Perhaps a more fun question is how the fandom will increasingly spiral, the more aggressive and confrontational opposing sides of the fandom become. I’ve said before that a lot of ARMYs are easy to manipulate and incapable of nuanced conversations, and normally that’s a recipe for the jokes we see on Twitter daily, but in times like this, it’s tinder for a bonfire of disaster lmao.

I hope y’all are holding on to your wigs for the magnificent, ripped body pics Jin will have to drop to calm things down as soon as he’s discharged.

[maddys-nerd-blog]

7, 10 and 21 for the WIP ask!!

HELLO 👋🏻

7– My favorite scene? Oooooo I think it’s the conversation between Danny and Leo where they’re having their heart to heart. The dialogue is some of the more emotional stuff I’ve worked on, so I’ll give you a sample!

Sour memories of his own childhood came to mind. Without thinking he spoke to break the silence. “I don’t have a good relationship with my Father either.”

Leo sniffled, the chair and his ropes creaking from a slight shift in movement as he attempted to look at the yōkai. “Y-you don’t…?”

“Nah.” Danny shook his head. “My father and I never had a stable relationship when I was your age. Ma passed when I turned twelve and it broke something in him. Told me I looked too much like her t’ ever speak t’ me. I didn’t wanna go into th’ family business, so he resented me for it. I always had bad role models growing up— I wanted t’ be like Clyde Barrow. I wanted t’ be rich and live a life where I had control of myself, be what I wanted. Truth be told I used t’ dream about bein’ a performer, one of those Fred Alastair types. My father never understood. Said I was delusional. Especially when I told him I was getting hired by Big Mama,” he scoffed under his breath, a light smirk playing at his lips with mirth. “He just about blew a gasket. Told me I was an embarrassment, I wasn’t th’ son he raised, I was better off dead than working for th’ competition. He told me ‘If yer gonna make this family look bad, ya ain’t welcome home.’ So… I left. And I never looked back.”

Leo, having grown silent to let Danny finish his story, sniffled as he piped up, “How old were you?”

“Seventeen.”

“… how long has it been since you saw him?”

“In person? Thirty-six years.”

Danny could almost feel the empathetic eyes of the slider peering over his shoulder. He didn’t need to look at Leo’s face to know that he was stunned. “I’m so sorry…”

“Isn’t a big deal t’ me.” Danny reassured. “I knew it was coming so I wasn’t too upset.” A somber chuckle escaped from him over the thought. “It made me laugh afterwards.”

“But…” Leo’s arms twisted around, trying to move, wanting to better look the man in the eye. “Did you ever regret it?”

He shook his head. “I kinda knew when I left that he wouldn’t give a damn once I was gone. He never made th’ effort t’ phone me or look for me. It was a part of myself I had to let go of if I wanted t’ move on. There were times where I thought I could give him a call, but… then I’d get cold feet.” Danny sighed, long and hard, giving a small shake of his head to clear the resentment. “I found a better family in all of you, anyway.”

“I probably ain’t th’ best person t’ take advise from, but I know one thing.” Danny looked back at the kid, trying to offer a kind smile. “Yer stronger than yer dad if he don’t see how important ya are t’ yer brothers.” When Danny didn’t get a reply straight away, he continued. “Ya wanna know something? When I met Kat, she would talk ‘bout how proud she was of her boys. She would tell me everything about th’ kids she was looking after. How brave and adventurous they were, how they kept fighting even when th’ odds were stacked against them, how they saved her from herself.”

“… she really talked about us that much…?”

“‘Course!” Danny twisted himself around as best he could manage, the ropes biting and pulling stubbornly into his arms from the motions. “You guys are th’ center of her world! It’s nothing but high praise! I could write up an entire novel’s worth of compliments she gives you. Ya might not realize it but yer mom loves all of you so, so much. If ya asked her for a thousand bucks she’d bring you diamonds. Ya ask her for a house, she’d buy you a castle. I bet if she could, she’d hang th’ moon and stars for you. All she wants is t’ make you happy.” The yōkai grinned, recalling the pride in Katie’s smile when she told him about the kids, about their achievements and their accomplishments. If there was any mother in the world that could be more proud of her children, she’d be the living example.

Leo giggled, a small sob stifled behind it. He swallowed, hesitating, gathering himself to properly breathe. “I-I didn’t think… I didn’t know we mattered this much to her.”

“You kidding?” Danny couldn’t help the incredulous tone in his voice. “I won’t be surprised if she breaks th’ doors down t’ this place t’ get you back. If there’s one thing we both know ‘bout Katie, it’s that she’ll stop at nothing t’ bring ya home. She’s gonna be here soon.”

10– “Fine,” Katie reluctantly agreed. “There should be a pharmacy two blocks down from here. Just… please be careful.”

With one of his signature sly smirks Danny leaned forward, planting a kiss on the corner of her mouth. “I’ll be in and out.”

21– This time I’ll choose these!

[tytarax]

What about Yandere! Shin?

Just look at this guy, he's mentally and physically traumatized after Buu, he hasn't felt affection in a very long time.

And he seems harmless enough to suspect a curiously possessive yandere. He's your little divine friend who visits you, or you visit him. He's just hungry for touch and attention

I mean... yeah totally

P.S. rn I'm trying to answer all the inbox messages... I mean, I love them, but too much 🫠

---

The grand halls of the Sacred World of the Kai were quiet, save for the soft hum of celestial energy that seemed to pulse through the very walls. The room you stood in was vast and opulent, with floating platforms and shimmering lights that defied the very laws of physics. Yet, despite the beauty surrounding you, you felt a chill that had nothing to do with the ambiance.

Shin, the Grand Priest, stood before you, his eyes fixed on you with an intensity that made your skin crawl. His usual calm and composed demeanor was replaced with an unsettling fervor that you had never seen before. His voice, normally gentle and authoritative, now had a darker edge.

“You’ve been such a delight to have around,” he said, his gaze never wavering. “It’s a rare pleasure to meet someone who can bring such… excitement into my life.”

You forced a nervous smile, trying to ignore the growing sense of dread. “I’m glad you think so, Shin. It’s been an interesting experience, to say the least.”

Shin’s smile widened, but there was something predatory in his eyes. “Interesting, you say? That’s an understatement. You’ve brought a sense of chaos and unpredictability that I find utterly fascinating. And you’re so… perfect.”

The way he looked at you made your heart race. You had heard whispers of his devotion, but you never imagined it could turn into something so consuming. His obsession was palpable, and it was clear that his feelings for you went beyond mere admiration.

“You see,” he continued, stepping closer, “I’ve grown quite fond of you. More than fond, really. I’ve come to believe that you are meant to be with me for all eternity. The universe is vast, but you are my shining star.”

You took a step back, trying to maintain your composure. “Shin, I—”

“Please,” he interrupted, his tone suddenly sharp, “don’t try to leave. You might not understand now, but this is for your own good. You belong here with me. I’ve taken care of everything to ensure that you stay safe. You won’t find another place like this.”

His words were laced with a sinister promise, and the more he spoke, the more you realized that there was no escaping his grasp. The Grand Priest’s affection had twisted into something far darker, and your attempts to reason with him seemed futile.

“I’ve already made preparations,” Shin said, his voice softening again as he reached out to take your hand. “I’ve made sure that no harm will come to you. And if anyone tries to take you away from me… well, let’s just say that I have ways of dealing with them.”

Fear clung to you like a shroud as you looked into his eyes, realizing the full extent of his obsession. There was no room for escape, no chance to escape from the clutches of the Grand Priest’s delusional love. He had become your captor, your guardian, and your tormentor all in one.

He guided you to a beautifully adorned room, filled with divine artifacts and glowing orbs. The room was a testament to his power and control, but to you, it felt like a gilded cage.

“This is your new home,” Shin said with a mixture of pride and possessiveness. “You’re safe here, with me. And while you may not see it now, you will come to understand and appreciate my devotion. In time, you will see that this is where you truly belong.”

The door closed with a resounding thud, sealing you inside. The weight of your situation settled heavily on your shoulders, and you sank to the floor, overwhelmed by the realization that there was no escape from Shin’s divine obsession.

As you sat alone in the opulent prison, you could hear Shin’s voice echoing softly through the walls, a constant reminder of the twisted love that bound you to him. His presence was everywhere, and his gaze seemed to follow you even when he wasn’t near.

In the depths of the Sacred World of the Kai, you were trapped in a reality where love had become a prison, and the only escape was a dream you could no longer afford to have. Shin’s devotion had become your unbreakable chain, and as the days turned into eternity, you could only hope that someday, somehow, the divine obsession would lose its grip.

Masterpost

DBS Masterlist

[pumpkinsouppe]

I haven’t played all of AA4 yet but I was thinking a lot about how uneasy the first case made me feel (in a good way) and I finally figured out why. (AA 4-1 spoilers btw) Part of it of course is the overall scheme: what happened 7 years ago and what are the answers to all these unresolved questions. But I genuinely don’t think I’ve seen a more accurate depiction of how I experienced GAD and social anxiety than I have with Apollo Justice.

Thankfully, I have learned to stand up for myself and I’ve controlled the majority of my anxiety but I can very clearly see that Apollo has not done that, at least yet. I am hoping hoping hoping we get to see him grow in this game because I know that AA5 and 6 won’t do that justice (lol). All throughout the first case, Apollo rarely spoke for himself. He was very much a follower and wanted approval, ergo he was very easy to manipulate. Kristoph and Phoenix both recognized this about him and were able to both use Apollo as their own puppets. He followed Kristoph’s orders whenever he gave them (‘expose phoenix’s lies’ ‘don’t embarrass me’) but he also was very willing to follow Phoenix’s orders too (‘point on the map for us’ ‘name the fourth person/killer’ ‘accuse Kristoph’). He followed who he thought was seeking the truth but he had to be told that doing these actions was for the truth.

I never was manipulated in court like Apollo experienced, but I was VERY quick to abandon plans for something else or act in ways if someone told me to. I remember sometimes even saying yes to things that made me super uncomfortable because I didn’t think for myself and didn’t want to disappoint or make anyone mad. And you can tell that Apollo really looked up to both Kristoph and Phoenix in that trial. He wasn’t sure who to believe so he followed both simultaneously until at the end when he realized both were assholes. I LOVE the unease I felt during the first case. It felt so real to me how Apollo was able to be so easily manipulated and how that was able to be used as a very interesting way to set up a new game and protagonist.

It’s amplified especially if you played all the past Phoenix Wright games. Hell, I finished PLvsPW an hour before picking up AA4 and that really influenced how much I wanted to also follow and believe Phoenix. So I absolutely love how this trial was used not only to play with the heart and mind of Apollo, but the players as well. There’s less reason to follow Kristoph since the players don’t have the same bond Kristoph and Apollo have since this was our first time meeting him, but because he’s our boss and he’s standing at the defense with us like Mia has, that adds to his credibility. Which is even better that Phoenix took Kristoph’s spot behind the defense bench when Kristoph was summoned to the stand. “Don’t believe that other guy, look at where he is now. Believe me instead, the person who just left that same spot.” You want to believe him, it’s Phoenix Wright! Teaching us the ways just like Mia. But what he’s actually done is replace Kristoph as the supposed voice of reason in Apollo’s ear. Yes that’s the spot for mentors, but does every mentor have your best intentions in mind? Are you able to distinguish genuine advice versus motivated advice?

I am truly fascinated and captivated by the writing. You can tell how much Shu Takumi has grown as a writer compared to the original AA1. I am so excited to play the rest of this game.

[goldrushenthusiast]

Which The Hunger Games characters :

1. Do you relate the most?

2. Do you think missunderstood by people?

3. Do you want to know better?

Please give reasons for your answers. And you can pick more than one character for each question.

Thank you :)

@curiousnonny

1. Honestly probably Peeta

I’ve grown up with a lot of privilege, same with MOST (but not all) of my friends. Whenever I love someone I have the tendency to hold onto it no matter what. I have a great view of the world, and no matter how much I think I can I can’t really hold a grudge for the life of me. I take pictures of everything naturey, if I could paint I’d be doing it all the time, and in general I think we have very similar senses of humor and outlooks on life in general. Peeta and James Potter have been my top fictional character relations since probably early 2022 tbh.

2. Sejanus & Lucy Gray (this is influenced by Coriolanus HEAVILY)

One thing that’s interesting about these is that while people call Katniss an unreliable narrator (she really isn’t tbh, you get that with a lot of first person POVS), Coriolanus is really the one not to be trusted. Every word in that book, even thought it’s from a third person POV, is stained by his mind. It makes it hard separating characters true personalities in it because they’re so diluted by what Coriolanus wants them to be. Dialogue is the most important part of it, but just the dialogue itself. I don’t think we can trust Coriolanus much after.

For one- Coriolanus sees Sejanus as a bit dumb, like he doesn’t know everything he does but it’s not ignorant, just dumb and not smart enough to realize it. This is because of Coriolanus’ idea that he’s smarter than everyone, so he automatically thinks people who don’t think the same as he does are dumb. It’s condescending and even if he doesn’t notice it, it’s still there. When he’s confronted with the idea it might not be true (Lucy Gray winning, all of her deep discussions) his mind goes through hoops trying to explain it. His bigoted attitude towards district people is HUGE. He automatically thinks that they’re (including Sejanus and Lucy Gray) are less smart than him.

This leads to him treating them as such and seeing through that veil. There are a couple of times where we see Sejanus has a personality beyond pity and self wallowing, where he makes sarcastic remarks & acts like a complicated person. I’ll try not to let my own interpretation of Sejanus reflect too much here because I don’t have much to support it.

As a reader, naturally, we see characters how we remember them, and we remember them based on what’s memorable ABOUT them. You remember Sejanus for what Coriolanus calls “outbursts” or tantrums, so you begin to associate him with those childlike emotions and the idea that he doesn’t really understand what he’s getting into.

It’s why I see this idea - that he’s just a poor baby, who just wants to help - so much from people who’ve only read the books <3 times or so. They don’t remember his under the breath comments and things like that, or the way Coriolanus describes him. IMO, for the most part, Sejanus DOES know what he’s doing (most of the time), just doesn’t think it through entirely. I’ve seen too many people portray him like a himbo, or an idiot, which ISNT TRUE. At all. They only do it because Coriolanus still associates Sejanus with his 8 year old child self and because Coriolanus sees him as lesser, and dumber, which go hand in hand for him.

That was way more than I was planning to write- oops! But the physiological aspects of how we see characters and what affects that is fascinating.

Now, Lucy Gray. Because we see her in a more romantic way, because Coriolanus does, we see her differently, because Coriolanus sees all forms of love (minus obligatory things, like family) the same (I could talk about this FOREVER).

Coriolanus sees Lucy Gray as something he can control and own. Obviously, she isn’t. He also sees her as a bit helpless and needy, which again, she isn’t. She’s been providing for her family since she was 12 (approx). It’s easy to assume she’s very strong, and she handles things well.

Now, the thing with Lucy Gray is that a lot of people think that she never loved Coriolanus, she was just using him, and I get where that comes in. However, I disagree. I think that’s the MAIN off characterization. She was not stone cold and unfeeling, nor was she some badass.

Lucy Gray’s character I actually change my mind about a LOT, because that’s exactly what she does to people. That’s what she’s SUPPOSED to do. It was how she written. She’s an amazing actor, and everything she does (although not on the first read), we start to question. This goes back into our view as a reader & how we characterize characters. She’s memorable because we saw her as Coriolanus did (someone to be helped, with a sad past, and someone attractive), then that view switched. During the first half of part 2, we started to see her come out of her shell and be more fun & rebellious. She still was in part 1, don’t get me wrong, but because Coriolanus didn’t seem to register that as much neither do we, or at least we don’t get the full extent of it until part 2.

In the first half of part 2, because of the shows and the hanging tree, we get more clues as to who she actually is. I think that part 2 is where we really have to consider her personality because it’s 10x as likely she isn’t acting anymore. We also see her past with Billy Taupe, which provides just the right opportunity for Coriolanus (and therefore us) to continue seeing her as someone who needs protection and has ownership.

This is good (ofc not really GOOD, but you get the point), because it really lets us experience the full extent of the SHOCK (the first time reading it) when Lucy Gray betrays him. I’ve already talked lots about why they betrayed each OTHER, and how it made perfect sense for each character, so if you’re interested it’s somewhere on @balladofmyramblings. It’s the one about people getting wrong why the ending was perfect.

As I’ve said before, Lucy Gray values TRUST. It’s why she does go to Coriolanus for comfort after he shoots Mayfair, and why she turns to him. It’s not about needing him, it’s about the fact that now that she’s out of the arena and can trust him & she doesn’t think he’ll hurt her, she can actually trust him. It’s why I think that she truly loved him. Remember, Coriolanus is also affected by his view of himself. We’re annoyed with him and know he doesn’t view Lucy Gray well because we know him. But he’s a good actor, and it’s vibes that Lucy Gray must go off of. Their purest stage of their relationship was during the first half of part 2 for sure.

I’d also like to mention Lucy Gray just got out of a toxic, probably abusive, heart wrenching relationship so it makes sense she’s LOOKING for more protection in a partner, even if she doesn’t exactly need to be protected (or owned especially).

Anywho, TLDR, people think that Lucy Gray was more cold and calculated than she was or (but I didn’t touch on this because I haven’t seen it much) not at all. Truth is, she’s a mix of both, and does find comfort in Coriolanus & eventually betrays him in a cold and calculated way.

3. Tigris!

I’d love to see Coriolanus’ rise to power through HER eyes, and know her story, and all that she did. She’s a very interesting character and I’m glad Suzanne made her Coriolanus’ cousin instead of some stranger- it was genius.

Thank you for the question, @curiousnonny, and as always feel free to debate but not argue with me in the reblogs/replies!

[tims-camera-lens]

Ohhh do you can made a nina the kilher x fem! Reader (oneshot)?

Her New Obsession

Pairing: Nina the Killer/Fem!Reader | F/F

Pov: 3rd person | Nina centered

Wc: 842 (small, I know)

Warnings: Mentions of murder | stalking | knife | attempted murder | Mention of the proxies, they coexist with what people consider pastas

Summary: When Nina realizes that Jeff will never reciprocate her feelings, she focuses her efforts on finding someone who might.

(I’m so sorry this took so long, I’ve been hopping from wip to wip)

╳°»｡ ∾･⁙･ ღ ➵ ⁘ ➵ ღ ･⁙･∾ ｡«°╳

A small town illuminated only by streetlights. Despite the size of the place, the man made lights still drowned out the stars. Nina hated places like these. It was much too like where she’d grown up, too much interference of humans. It was nothing like Rosswood or the Ark, where she could see the stars and moon so clearly peeking through the trees. Whenever she would get bored with killing, she would remind herself that she did it for more than just the fun of it. It was to help the earth in order to cultivate a growing soil for Slenderman to create his vision. Nina didn’t entirely understand how he could have a vision if he had no eyes, but she’d been assured not to think about it too hard.

This small town is where she’d pinned down her next victim was living. Due to her rather obsessive personality, she liked to learn about her kills before she took them. Jeff would always tell her that it’s too time consuming and he preferred killing on a whim. She didn’t care about his preferences, not anymore. The two disagreed on much, too much. Thinking on it now, she found it silly that she ever assumed that they would get together. A childish fantasy that she’d left behind as she matured. Still, a feeling gnawed at her at her core. A want, no, a need to be so infatuated with someone that it engulfs her.

It couldn’t be anyone under the Operator’s watch, she knew too much about them already. That and most residents didn’t want to entertain her on it. Whatever, no time to think on it now, her target was moving. She was careful and quiet, almost calculated in her movements. Even Tim would give her a “not bad, kid”. Often she’d think of what it’d be like to be a proxy. She always wanted to be one, rather than just one of Slenderman’s more disposable murderous kids. They were trusted with missions, had a purpose. She shook her head, attempting to focus on the present. Her mind had a tendency to capture her, to make her thoughts wander on trivial things that would have little to no chance of happening. Much unlike Jeff, who did things as soon as they crossed his mind. He was impulsive and hard to control, which is why Nina theorized that Slenderman never appointed him to become a proxy. Perhaps, the opposite of why she hadn’t been. Thinking too much, not doing enough. Much similar to right now.

At least she knew how to keep going, despite not being in the present moment. In the moment, she was crawling through her victim’s bedroom window. Perfect, you were already asleep. Nina leaned over you, taking in the sight of you sleeping form. You were like a sculpture, made of marble perhaps. Your pajamas hung on your body mimicking the look of the veiled lady art pieces. It’s a shame Nina was going to kill you. You looked as a walking masterpiece, acted as a goddess placed on earth. Your front door opened and she held her breath. You lived alone, she knew that for a fact. She knew everything about you.

Your eyelids flutter due to the sound. Such a light sleeper, it’s a wonder how Nina got in undetected. A voice rings from the front of the apartment. They call your name, letting you know that they’re home. What a pretty name you have. Why isn’t a flower named after you? Maybe there was, she would have to ask Ann. If not, then Nina would be sure to name a rabbit after you. One of the rabbits that Brian took care of in his free time. Was it Brian or Hoody? She didn’t know the difference, if there was one. Tim and Masky were different, so were Jay and Skully, but she wasn’t sure on Brian and Hoody. That didn’t matter right now, making her mentally scold herself on getting distracted. Your eyes met hers and in an instance, her hands are clamped over your mouth. If you screamed, you’d be dead, if you didn’t alert anyone, you’d still be dead. The look in the homicidal maniac above you’s eyes warned against making your situation known.

Silence blanketed the apartment like a cloud. Ten minutes, then twenty passed. Still, not a noise. Twenty turned to thirty, then an hour. Nina’s palms break contact with your lips as she retracted them to herself. “Speak of this and your whole family is dead.” She hissed. The killer turned, leaving through your window and out to the night. The moon glints on silver on top of your bedsheets. You move closer, only to see that it’s the same knife that woman had threatened you with. You cautiously picked it up and gave it as much of an examination as you could, considering it was still dark in the room. You’d have to return it to her the next time you saw her, if there was a next time.

[fanficfanattic]

Apples or poison or Tooting (and if none of these work, head). Please and thank you.

There wasn’t any toots or tooting. But!

🍎apples AND ��️ poison were both in the same fic, so you get from the intro of the one to the outro of the other.

In this fic, Ted does go into the treatment room:

“I don’t even know what me favorite fucking fruit is, cause ten years ago he said some shit about only being allowed to eat apples. No reason given. Just the right shade of drunk that I couldn’t know if he’d remember it or not. And its not like he could tell what we ate at academy. Or in me own home once I had one.

But I still only eat fucking apples. Tried them all, I think. Can tell you which are favorites from that. Granny Smiths are not for me.”

He’d edged back from the rage in his voice when talking about his father. But that just meant he returned to ridiculing himself.

“Like I said, no reason to listen to a word he says. Particularly since I don’t much agree with ‘im bout anything. Once I started though, I’ve just never, never managed to stop.

‘Don’t pass, be the star, caring ‘bout people will hold ye back’.

It jus…he was happier with me when I did what he said, and happier meant a lot less hurting.

But it’s just…it’s just putting that hurt onto someone else? Isn’t it, Keeley?”

And she didn’t want to confirm it, because he was hurting right now and she still cared about him. Loved him in a way she could only do for him. But this is what she’d tried to tell him months ago. And it was the truth. So.

“Yeah, Jamie, that is what it is. I’m not gonna lie to you. But seeing that? Its good, its important.”

“I don’ wanna be like him. I don’t! I wanna be more like I were before all his stupid fucking rules. Fuck. Fuck me.”

“No! No, you’re not. Like him. You’ve done things he wanted you to do, that weren’t good to do. But you said 15 years, Jamie. You were a kid. And I’ve seen you at benefits and signings. You’re so fucking good with kids, babe. You’d never hurt one. Not ever.

And that’s because…people who abuse their family, it’s about control. But you aren’t fucked in the head enough to take that out on someone truly helpless. Even when you turned that hurt on to someone else. You were just trying to find a way for you to have some control back.”

“Not an excuse though.”

“No. But it’s a reason. Oh god, that’s the reason you never wanted me to come round when he was down?”

“Course. I wouldn’ta let him fucking near you, Keels. I don’t let him fucking near anyone, if I can help it. He can’t hospitalize mates if you stop having them.”

“…what? What did you just say, Jamie.”

His face had the dawning horror of someone who realized they’d said too much. Admitted to something they couldn’t take back. And she didn’t know if he was upset that he’d revealed he didn’t have friends. Or that his dad had spread his control out over so many more people.

“Hey, no, don’t need to answer that. God Jamie, I’m so sorry he ever showed back up in your life. Even at my most pissed at you, I’ve never wished anything bad on you.”

“It’s okay, Keels. I know. You’re dead brill. Best thing ever happened to me, honest, and I know I’m lucky we’re still…friends, yeah?”

“Of course, Jamie. We are friends. I don’t let any of my other exes come over to talk or crash my dates with Roy.”

And he honest to god let out the tiniest laugh at that. Just as quickly the quirk of his lips flattened out. He slumped back against the wall, energy fatigued, and went back to looking at the wall.

“Hey, you’re gonna be okay, babe. We’ll get it sorted, yeah?”

“You don’t have to help me sort shit, Keeley. Thanks though. I’m just so tired of it. Of being scared rather than a grown man. All I’ve ever wanted to do was play football, and it’s like he’s turned it into poison. He turns everything to it, sooner or later.”

There wasn’t anything to say to that, though, so she just put her hand back on his shoulder. He’d rested his own hand over hers, for barely a second, when he heard footsteps approaching the door. Heard them before anyone else did. These stood out, loud ones with anger in them he could tell, a skill developed from a childhood of listening for drunken footsteps as a warning system.

His reflexes, trained to be quicker and then quicker still, meant Jamie was already moving as the door slammed open. He pushed off the wall so he was on his knees, upright as possible, putting himself between Keeley and the door.

It wasn’t his father. It wasn’t his fucking da, just Ted and Beard, but his breathing was already sped up anyway. He barely felt Keeley put her hand back on his shoulder, but heard her say softly from behind him, “Hey, Ted.”

“Hey there, Keeley.” Ted responded to her first. Before turning to him. And an angry Ted had only ever yelled at him before, never once tried to hit him. But he hadn’t yelled at anyone else at all, and Jamie was used to being the exception to a lot of people’s rules. He couldn’t get his breathing under control. And he knew Keeley could tell. But she wasn’t scared of Ted. She’d told him that he could trust ‘em.

“Hey, kiddo. Good thinking sending Coach out to help. But I told you to get to the treatment room-”

“Oh. Fuck. Sorry. I didn’t…wasn’t tryin to-“

“Oh, hey, hey, it’s okay, Jamie. I’m not mad at you. I wasn’t trying to keep you from the team. But you’ve got to get checked for a concussion and we need to see if anythings broken.”

“What?”

“Think your nose bone might be broken, son.”

“Its not. Been broke before so I know how it feels. And it ain’t bone, the nose.”

“Well that’s true, it’s cartilage. But all the same I want a team doc to check you over. Can you do that for me?”

“I don’t understand you.”

“Your hear-“

“No, not that. It’s…you and Dani and Sam? You all just…I thought it were an act, yeah? You caring, and shit, bout everyone. Let alone me. Cause that’s not…that’s not how people are.”

And Lasso made a choked off sound, but didn’t interrupt, so he kept going. All this poison sitting under his skin, like he’d just told Keeley about? Had all this venom pouring out his mouth now. Was he purging it? Or using it as a defense. As an offense?

“I could easy spend a hundred years next to a Roy Kent. Know how to absorb anger, or let it fall off, know how to survive it. I don’t have any fucking idea what to do with…with…with niceness!”

“Surely people have been nice to you before, Jamie?”

“Plenty of folks. That all want something of you or from you. Sam a mentor. You a more biddable player.

Keeley’s the only new person I’ve trusted in…years.” She just started lightly rubbing the shoulder she’d been touching, didn’t pause or stumble.

“Cause she said exactly what she was willing to give and what she wanted in return. No tricks.

And she said…”

Ted’s eyes moved to hers, quick and fathomless, before focusing back on Jamie. He realized with an almost start that the boy was trembling. He wanted to put a hand on his other shoulder or pull him into a hug. But the sudden movement, with all this adrenaline and the obvious now, so stupid Ted, the PTSD he had…now wasn’t the time.

“What’d she say, Jamie?”

“That you weren’t playing games with me head. You meant it.”

“I did. I do. I care a lot about you, Jamie.”

“Why’d you send me away, then? Once I started finally listening to you?”

[l-resonant-l]

I don’t know if you’ll see this. I don’t really think it’s for you to see.

I don’t actually think of you much at all anymore, but I was scrolling through my old messages looking for a contact and I saw our messages.

Saw how we said goodbye.

Maybe saying I don’t think of you sounds defensive, but I saw your name and didn’t recognize it for a moment. It made me a bit sad.

I read all our messages back as if it were the first time,

I felt my mind go back through that time machine,

But this time I saw everything you didn’t know you said.

I’ve grown so much more in these years than I thought possible in two years.

To be honest, despite how sure I acted that I knew what I was doing, I wasn’t.

I wasn’t sure at all.

But that’s what I wanted. I was so tired of living my whole life based on the opinions of those around me, so sure they knew what and how to think, things I’d never know.

I wanted something for the first time in as long as I can remember. It was dangerous, and stupid, and possibly not even real, but I wanted it. So I took hold of them with every fiber of my being and refused to let go.

I wasn’t sure, but

If you don’t trust me how can you see me as an equal?

Very easily? I don't have to trust anyone with everything. Not trusting you doesn't mean I'm going to try control you. I trust you with my freindship, I trust you with secrets, I trust you with a lot. But I don't trust you to get your homework done, or that you will get a job, or that youll remember commitments, and you don't trust yourself with that either. I don't trust your judgment but I do respect it.

I have a chronic illness it turns out. I won’t heal, but I can think now, now that I have treatment. I can move. I can sleep. I can exist with manageable pain. I can work I can live, I do things.

It’s a strange I don’t miss you, but I mourn the faith I had in you.

But that’s what all our relationships with you were. You surrounded yourself with hurt people, and supported them, unless they actually gained confidence. Then you poke holes in their newborn ego.

Dont treat me like one of your abusive family members that you're realizing is toxic. If you can admit your judgment is sometimes incorrect (like idk, multiple abusive boyfriends?) then you can understand how I may not 100% trust your judgement. That is very different from controlling you or not respecting you

I don’t know

Maybe I’m wrong

Maybe I’m wrong

Or maybe-

I asked if I could make the caramelized carrots my dad never got to have on his last thanksgiving before he died, you told me no one would eat them so there’s no point. You took a knife out of my hand and said you didn’t trust me to cut vegetables. I told you my life and you used it like a weapon to make me doubt myself.

Maybe it doesn’t matter

My friend and I laugh as we cooked and drank together.

Maybe they like me

My housemate thanks me for setting up the system of jobs and chores for the household.

Maybe I’m good at some things

My boyfriend buzzes about how we could program the map and weather generator for my dnd world.

Maybe someone cares about my interests

My partner hugs me, and says they don’t know how they got so lucky.

Maybe I’m worthy of love

My father in law gushes about the ring set I chose, with a million year old meteorite embedded.

Maybe I can be

My child asks me to play before bed time as we discuss the dog we want to get in the next home. They come to me after they have a nightmare. I sit beside their bed and as their breathing slows I hear them mumble softly “I love you,” and I whisper back “I love you too sweetheart”

I am happy