#I’m asking all this specifically because I think often our culture would say this is entirely my friend’s fault for being rude | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jagibee · 2 years ago

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Call Me Luna

(Stray Kids x Reader)

Chapter 5

5,842 words

A/N: So so so very sorry for the delay! I’ve had like 3 major life changes since I’ve last posted so please forgive me😭

…

Sent

bangfuckingchan

Hi :]

Oh my god he even uses that face in his texts.

By this time, it was around half an hour before the company car was picking you up again. You had all your stuff ready and were just waiting, and you decided to text Chan because you had his goddamn number and what stupid idiot would not text him?

Sent

I was just wondering… are there any Korean-specific subgender-based cultural norms that I should know about?

bangfuckingchan

None that I can think of. Felix might hug you at some point and the others probably won’t but that’s more of their personalities than any cultural things. And we won’t blame you for not knowing everything about Korea! Felix went through the same thing when he moved here (and so did I many many centuries ago) so we all understand that it can be a lot and we want to help in any way we can!

After squealing into your pillow for a bit, you got the notification that the car was here. Before you rushed down, you remembered to respond to him.

Sent

You’re literally too nice! See you in a bit!

bangfuckingchan

Hey, let me know when you arrive at the building! I can walk you in!

How were you supposed to survive today?

When the car arrived at the company, you made sure to tell Chan.

bangfuckingchan

Great! See you down there ;)

What the hell was the winky face for? Was he trying to give you a heart attack?

You turned to watch the car drive away while you waited and then shifted your gaze to a nice omega couple who were laughing and holding hands as they walked. Smiling to yourself, you turned back to the company building just in time to see Chan jog out.

Stopping in front of you, he grinned and held out a large iced coffee.

You smiled back while cocking your head in confusion. “Hi?”

He shook the drink which made the ice rattle. “I got you a coffee.”

“Oh my- you didn’t have to do that!” Your heart warmed as your gaze flickered between the drink and his face.

He shrugged in response. “I had to buy coffee for all the kids anyway, and I should really pay you back for the food last night.” He rattled the drink again.

Taking it, you raised your eyebrows at him. “Again, the company paid for that. It wasn’t my money.”

Chan looked to the side. “Yeah, well, the company pays me and I bought that with money they paid me so if you think about it, the company paid for that, too. Ah!” He looked back at you. “If you don’t like coffee or iced Americanos, you don’t have to drink it! I wanted to surprise you and most of the kids drink iced Americanos, but next time I’ll ask!”

You shook your head at him. “Next time? You anticipate buying me coffee often?”

He smiled even wider at you. “Well, we can’t have our star caretaker falling asleep on the job, can we?”

You giggled at that. “Star caretaker? You’ve known me for less than 24 hours and I haven’t even met the rest of your pack, I don’t think you can really judge my caretaking abilities based on that.”

Chan’s smile morphed into a smirk. “Yeah, but you bought me food, so that tells me enough.”

You rolled your eyes at him playfully. “You are ridiculous.”

His jaw dropped. “Hey, I will take that coffee back! I’m sure one of my members will enjoy the extra caffeine!”

Hugging the coffee to your chest, you hissed at him jokingly. “Stay away from my coffee!”

You turned away and saw Jisu step out of the building, holding a few papers and a pen. “Ah, Y/N!” She narrowed her eyes at the sight of you and Chan but seemed to ignore it as she turned to you and handed you one of her papers. “Here is your schedule for today, each of the caretakers will meet one-on-one with a member from the caretaking department, and you are actually assigned to me. There’s just a couple more things sign pertaining to what you can and can’t say on camera or in public, and then you should be done with all that. Then you will meet with your band’s leaders, or,” she paused, glancing at Chan who had been standing silently behind you the whole time, “in your case, you’ll be meeting a few of the other members. That will be in time for lunch, which you can get from the cafeteria and after you eat with the members, Bang Chan can dictate what you do with the rest of your day and if you will spend more time with the band or not.”

You turned slightly to see Chan smile at you softly. “Nah,” he said, tilting his head, “I think I’ll probably kick her out of the company by then.”

You resisted the urge to kick him and settled for a flick on the shoulder.

He cupped his hand over where you flicked him and stumbled backwards dramatically, causing you to roll your eyes in response. Yeah, like he can even feel it through those damn arm muscles.

Turning back to Jisu, you saw she had a calculating look on her face, cat-eyes squinted and eyebrows furrowed. You straightened up and adjusted your outfit in order to appear more professional. She blinked a couple times before fidgeting with the pen in her hands. “Shall we get going, then?”

You nodded and followed her into the building and up the elevator, staying silent the whole time.

Yesterday, Jisu had been professional, but today she seemed colder. You got through a presentation and a couple contracts without her saying a single word other than what she had to, and when she did speak, there was no emotion in her voice at all.

Oh, god, is she jealous of me? Does she have a thing for Chan?

You thought back to your interaction earlier.

She didn’t really say a single word to him, did she? She just looked at him when she talked about him. But he didn’t really say anything to her either, which seems a bit unlike him.

Your phone buzzed, bringing you away from your thoughts. You glanced up at Jisu and saw her turning away from you. Checking your phone subtly under the table, you couldn’t help smiling.

bangfuckingchan

Link -> The Top Ten Best Mini Fridges For Sale

bangfuckingchan

Should I get the one that plays elevator music? I’m sure that won’t get irritating fast

Seeing Jisu concentrated on looking over the last contract, you texted Chan back.

Sent

How do you know it’s elevator music?

bangfuckingchan

Actually the review says it plays Happy Birthday. My bad!

You muffled a giggle at that.

Sent

But that’s even better! Now, when it’s one of your members’ birthdays, instead of sitting awkwardly while 7 other dudes sing happy birthday, they can sit awkwardly while the fridge sings happy birthday!

bangfuckingchan

Yeah but it doesn’t actually have the lyrics, just the music :’(

Sent

Ooh so the fridge can play music while 7 other dudes sing Happy Birthday! Maximum Awkwardness!

You saw Jisu straighten up out of the corner of your eye and you put your phone away.

She smiled politely at you, looking just a bit less playful than the way she smiled yesterday. “Alright, Y/N, it seems like you’re finally done with the contracts and presentations. I’ll be taking you to meet Chan and the others now.”

On the way to wherever it was that Jisu was leading you, she walked briskly and you had to basically jog to keep up. You pondered asking her what was wrong but you figured that after only two days, you weren’t exactly bestie-level friends.

She stopped in front of a door and knocked. Quicker than you expected, a curly-haired, beanie-covered head poked out of the room and smiled at you.

“Y/N! Hi!” Chan exclaimed, like he hadn’t just texted you a couple minutes ago.

Jisu cleared her throat. “Alright, I will be in Conference Room 6B if anyone needs me.” With that, she walked off seemingly even faster than she walked here.

Unfazed, Chan turned to you. “Are you ready to meet the others?”

You took a deep breath and tried to shake your nerves out. “Ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s do this.”

Your heart pounded as you stepped through the doorway.

The first thing you noticed was the smell. After working all day with just you and Jisu, each wearing heavy duty scent blockers, you had gotten used to the relatively scentless air of the company building, but when you walked into the room, there were several sweet scents overlapping to fill the space.

It looked to be a dance studio, but a bit smaller than the ones that idols usually had in their dance practice videos, and there was a circle of wooden crates in the very center of the room, some of which were occupied by-

Holy shit.

Holy motherfucking shit.

You were in a room with over half of Stray Kids.

And they were staring at you. Fuck, do something cool, you told yourself. Before you could do something that would have been completely awkward and embarrassing and unforgettable, your hours of Jisu’s and Kwang-sun’s etiquette classes kicked in and you bowed and greeted them formally.

The members on the crates glanced at each other briefly. Felix was curled up against I.N on one of the larger boxes and had their legs splayed out on another. Hyunjin had shoved a few crates together to lay down all the way with his head in Lee Know’s lap, his neck in some sort of headlock/neck hug from the older boy.

Chan appeared beside you after shutting the door, resting his hand on your back.

“Hey, guys, this is Y/N.” He turned to smile at you. “Our new caretaker.”

His warm voice and soft eyes made you feel like you were in your own nest back home with a nice hot drink and your favorite book. Before you spent too long staring at Chan, you turned your head to the shuffling coming from the other boys.

Felix had untangled himself from I.N and made his way over, beaming at you. He grasped both of your hands in his and met your gaze. “Hello, Y/N! It’s nice to meet you!”

You had to quit. You had to. You could not handle Lee fucking Felix saying your name in that perfect voice or his flawless hands gently holding yours. This was going to kill you.

Taking a deep breath, you squeezed his hands. “It’s nice to meet you, too. I look forward to working with you.”

You felt something bump your hip and turned to see Chan grinning mischievously. “There’s no need to be so formal, Y/N. None of us are that serious.”

Your jaw dropped in mock offense. “I’m just trying to make a good impression!”

Chan rolled his eyes at you sarcastically before smiling and showing off his dimples. “The company has already hired you and made you sign a thousand contracts, you would have to make a pretty bad impression for us to get rid of you. Plus, you gave me food, so I already like you. Speaking of which,” he added, looking back at the others, “we should get some lunch. Any suggestions?”

Hyunjin suddenly started wriggling around violently in Minho’s grasp. “I suggest that hyung lets go of me so I can talk to Y/N properly!”

Minho, who had been staring at you analytically, turned his gaze to the boy in his lap who was still squirming frantically. Then he looked up at Chan. “Hyunjin wants tissues for lunch. Think we can arrange that?”

Felix giggled and squeezed your hands again while Chan shut his eyes and sighed. “I thought we agreed to be on our best behavior.”

Minho’s eyebrows raised at his pack alpha. “When did I agree to that, hyung? You just said we should be on our best behavior and assumed, incorrectly, that we would agree. I think she should see us at our worst. That way, we can only get better.”

You smiled at him. “I think that if feeding each other tissues is really your worst, I don’t have too much to worry about.”

After you said that, Minho’s eyes narrowed at you appraisingly and his mouth twitched like he wanted to say something more.

Suddenly, Jeongin spoke. “Trust me, hyung, that is definitely not your worst. Hopefully, for her sake, she will never have to see that. And hopefully, for my sake, I never have to see it again.”

Minho turned to the youngest. “What do you think is the worst?”

Chan cleared his throat. “Any edible suggestions for lunch?”

“Pfft. You can eat paper.”

Chan fixed Minho with a glare until the younger rolled his eyes. “Fine. There’s that place a couple streets down that we ate from when we got back from Bangkok.”

“Sounds good!” Chan clapped his hands together. “Anyone against it?”

The younger members shook their heads and stayed relatively silent while Chan called to order, only to start up again when I.N asked Minho if he ate paper a lot as a child.

When Minho had launched himself across the crate circle at the youngest, Hyunjin was finally released. He sat up and dashed over to you and Felix, smiling shyly at you.

“Hello, Y/N.”

“Hello, Hyunjin.” Looking over the two beside you, you felt a quiver of excitement. “So this is it,” you told them, “you’re my omegas.”

They enchanged glances and turned to smile at you even wider. “Yeah,” Felix said, “I guess so!” He took one of his hands from your little tangle and offered it to Hyunjin, who took it, and in turn, offered you his own. You placed your hand in Hyunjin’s, completing the circle.

“I hope I do well,” you murmured, “I can’t believe I get to work with some of the prettiest and most talented omegas on the planet.”

Two pairs of ears had turned red when Chan walked over, finishing his call to the restaurant. “Okay,” he announced, “the food should be here in about 45 minutes. In the meantime-”

A shriek was heard from the other side of the room, where Minho and Jeongin had been wrestling. Currently, Minho was sitting on top of the other boy and a spare pair of sweatpants had seemingly materialized out of nowhere and been wrapped around I.N’s head.

Chan sighed and went over to help settle things.

You looked at Felix and Hyunjin and frowned. “Should I help?”

Hyunjin shook his head at you. “Ah, no. It’s better to just leave them to sort it out.” He rolled his eyes playfully. “Alphas.”

Sure enough, Chan was walking back to your small circle with Minho thrown over his shoulder. Jeongin trailed behind, his hair going in all different directions, but with a satisfied smirk on his face.

“As I was saying,” Chan stated casually, like he wasn’t carrying a grown man over his shoulder, “the food will be here soon, so I figured that we could use this time to ask Y/N things in order to get to know her. What do you think?”

You realized his last question was addressing you. “Oh! That sounds perfect. Ask whatever you want.”

Chan smiled at you, showing off his dimples. “Great! Shall we have a seat?”

You and the boys maneuvered the crates until you each got comfortable. Minho had sat down on one and immediately pulled Felix into his lap, without much protest from the younger boy. Hyunjin was on the floor leaning back against a crate and had Jeongin resting between his legs. Chan had opted to sit closer to you with both of you sitting on the long crate.

“Y/N!” Chan turned to you. “Are there any questions you want to ask us?”

You tilted your head to the side, thinking. “Hmm. I guess, what do you want me to call each of you? Do you want me to call you by your stage names or any nicknames or anything?”

Chan looked around at the others. “I think most of us don’t really care about what you call us. Our fans call us by every nickname we have so as long as you aren’t insulting us or anything, anything should be fine. Everyone agree?”

Minho raised his hand slightly from where it had been resting around Felix’s waist. “I actually don’t care off-camera, but I would prefer if you called me ‘Lee Know’ on camera.”

You nodded at him. “I can do that for sure. Anything else?”

He shrugged back at you. “That’s it.”

“Okay.” You smiled at everyone. “I don’t actually have any more questions, so you guys can ask me questions now.”

Felix squirmed in Minho’s lap. “Can we- no, nevermind.”

Chan frowned. “No, Felix, what were you going to say?”

“You can ask me anything,” you told him. “If I’m going to be your caretaker, we should be comfortable with each other.”

Felix hesitated for a second before speaking again. “Is it alright if- you can totally say no- but…” He paused and laced his fingers through Minho’s, continuing to stare down at them. “Could you… take your scent blockers off? I just want to get used to your scent if we’re going to be around each other a lot.”

You sat up a bit straighter. “Of course! Can I- am I allowed to take my scent blockers off here?”

Turning to Chan, you saw him furrow his eyebrows together. “Yeah,” he responded, “the eight of us usually like to hang out without them, so if it’s just us without any managers or other staff, we don’t usually wear blockers. All of the other employees know to knock to give us time to reapply them before they come in, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Alright,” you murmured, “if everyone is comfortable with it.” You glanced around the circle but no one protested.

Slowly, you reached a hand to pull off your scent blocker.

Your floral-earthy scent washed over the others and they took a moment to take it in.

You glanced at each of them to observe their reactions. Having smelled it before, Chan just smiled softly. I.N slumped more from in between Hyunjin’s legs and Hyunjin blinked rapidly. Minho’s hands tightened around Felix’s waist before relaxing again, and Felix closed his eyes and leaned back against him.

With the blocker off, your own sense of smell was heightened and the scents of the others became stronger. With all five of them, it was hard to differentiate the different smells, but you sort of liked the chaotic mix that belonged to them.

A pinging sound broke you and the others out of your trance and Chan fished his phone out of his pocket. “Ah,” he muttered, “the food’s here.”

“I’ll get it,” Minho said, standing up suddenly and picking up Felix from his place on his lap. A small whine escaped the younger boy in surprise as he was yanked up, but he quieted when Minho deposited him in Chan’s lap.

Chan’s only reaction was to rest his hands on Felix’s hips. You got the feeling that them passing each other around like stuffed animals wasn’t anything new.

While Minho put on a fresh scent blocker and got himself together to go down and get the food, Felix peeked at you from his place against Chan’s neck.

“Wait.” Something suddenly occurred to you and you turned to Chan. “I thought we were supposed to eat the cafeteria food. Why did you order something?”

He rested his head on top of Felix’s and squinted at you. “The cafeteria food is good, but you deserve something better for your first day with us. Plus,” he added, eyes glinting, “I owe you for last night.”

You pouted at him. “I told you that you don’t have to pay me back. That was the company’s money, and you already got me a coffee!”

“Oh,” Hyunjin piped up. “So that’s why you got an extra coffee this morning. I knew you weren’t ‘just trying something new,’ you liar.”

Chan gaped at him. “Uh, technically, I’ve never given coffee to Y/N before, so I was trying something new, and I wasn’t lying.”

“Hyung, oh my god,” I.N groaned. “No one cares about your coffee and whether or not you were lying.” His head slumped in your direction. “Noona, just let him buy food for you. It makes him happy. Part of his whole ‘head alpha leader’ thing.”

You giggled at that. “Fine. But it’s literally in my job description for me to take care of you guys, so let me buy you food every once in a while, okay?”

Chan opened his mouth to protest, but was interrupted by Minho entering the room.

“Yah, come and get it, you gremlins!”

The younger members swarmed the takeout bags while you and Chan followed more slowly. Soon, they had the food all laid out on the floor and you crouched down beside it. I.N scooted over to sit between you and Minho on your right, Felix sat on your left, leaning against Hyunjin on his other side, and Chan took his place directly across from you.

While the others were sorting the food, Chan handed out water bottles to everyone. “Does our maknae want to say anything?”

Jeongin unscrewed the cap and lifted the bottle in a toast. “Y/N-noona, welcome and good luck. Hyungs, don’t embarrass me or yourselves too much.”

You and the others laughed and they rolled their eyes while you each drank.

The group started eating in relative silence, occasionally one of them would ask what you liked and would pass you something to try, but they seemed to be pretty concentrated on eating.

Then, Minho broke the silence. “So Y/N, what exactly is your interaction with us supposed to be like on camera?”

Putting your bowl down, you considered his question. “Well, for now, they don’t want me going on lives or doing anything super public because I guess I haven’t built that trust yet. I’ll travel with you through the airport, go to your concerts, and be with you whenever all eight of you are together, but if you all have individual schedules, I’ll just go where I’m needed. That will probably be worked out between Chan, your managers, and I.”

You paused for a second, swirling your spoon in your bowl thoughtfully. “They also want me to be sort of known? I’ll be on camera more than your managers and they want to make it clear to the public that you guys and the other groups have caretakers, but they don’t really want to put a spotlight on me as a person. They want someone with a caretaker title and maybe a face to that title, but they don’t want people to be super interested in me.”

Minho’s eyebrows furrowed. “That’s going to backfire.”

Your head tilted in confusion. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged. “The more mysterious you are, the more people will be interested in you. Or they’ll just make things up in order to give you a personality and suddenly there are rumors all over the place.”

You took another bite of food before responding. “I’ll just continue doing what the company tells me. If it backfires, it’s on them and not me. Plus, I don’t really care about rumors. I know who I am and no matter what random people on the Internet have to say, I’ll still be the same person.”

Hyunjin laughed at that. “So much backbone! Binnie-hyung is going to love you!”

You smirked at him. “And you? Do you love me?”

Hyunjin blinked in surprise but before he responded, Felix piped up from between the two of you. “Hey, noona, you said you’re going to be with us when it��s all eight of us, but what about the dorms? Are you staying at one of them or going back and forth?”

You couldn’t help but smile at Felix when he shoveled a few too many noodles into his mouth. “I’ll actually be getting my own place,” you explained. “The company agreed because it means that you guys won’t be suffocated by me right away and if you ever need a mental break away from cameras or the other members, my apartment will be sort of a neutral zone for you to just chill. Actually,” you added, checking the date on your phone, “I’m supposed to look at apartments this weekend.”

“Really?” Chan looked up from his own food. “I’ll go with you.”

You choked on the bite you had just taken. After clearing your throat, you shook your head at him. “You don’t have to do that! You’re probably busy anyway.”

He shrugged. “I was just planning on working in the studio but I’ve been spending too much time in there anyway. Plus, I could help you find a space that’s good for all of us.”

You hummed. “That does make sense, but you really don’t have to if you don’t want to!”

Chan waved his chopsticks at you. “No no no no, I want to go with you!”

“Alright,” you huffed. “You can come with me, if you really want to.”

“Can I come, too?”

You turned to Jeongin and tilted your head. “You want to come?”

He nodded shyly and turned to Chan. “I don’t have any schedules in the morning.”

Chan shrugged back at him. “It’s fine with me if it’s alright with Y/N.”

You smiled at both of them. “Sure. I’m supposed to meet the real estate person at 9. I’ll text you the address.”

Hyunjin sighed loudly and flopped backwards. “Why do I have to have a vocal lesson? I want to go apartment shopping!”

Felix giggled and laid back until his head rested on Hyunjin’s stomach. “Hey, at least the rest of us can’t go either. We can all suffer together.”

Minho groaned and stood up. “If everyone is done eating, we should start practicing soon. I gave us an extra long break already.”

You all helped to clean up and shove the crates to the corner of the room. Chan told you that this was all they had for the day so you could just sit back and watch them.

“But this is brand new choreography,” he added playfully, “don’t take a video and spoil our moves on Twitter!”

You laughed at that. “I think that would violate around seven of my contracts.”

He smiled and took his place.

You watched them dance for a while, time seemed to slow down and pass faster at the same time.

Their moves were hypnotizing and there was one point where you audibly gasped and Minho turned back to smirk at you.

Your phone screen told you that a little over an hour had passed before the boys finally took a break. Each of them collapsed on the spot except for Minho, who made his way over to you.

With four other sweaty men in the room, you couldn’t exactly pinpoint his scent, and you didn’t remember what his file had said, but you could tell that he smelled sweet, which was a bit surprising. You had expected an alpha like him to have a harsher scent. A scent that deodorant companies would bottle up and name something like “CLIFF JUMP” or “CAR CRASH”. Maybe Minho would be “TIGER FANGS” if he had a scent like you had expected.

But he didn’t.

He sat next to you, wrapping a washcloth around his neck and draining his water bottle. “So.” He turned to face you. “What do you think?”

You raised your eyebrows at him jokingly. “I think your fans would appreciate more twerking.”

Hyunjin burst into a cackle and turned over so he was laying on his belly, then pressed his forehead into the floor. The others still seemed too exhausted to laugh, let alone move.

You smiled at them and made your way over to their water bottles, trying your best to remember which one belonged to which member.

You passed them out, receiving grateful smiles in exchange. When you got to Chan, instead of drinking from his bottle like the rest of the boys were and like any normal person would do after an hour of intense dancing, he just hugged his water bottle to his chest and grinned at you lazily.

“Thanks, Y/N. You didn’t have to do that.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “It’s literally in my job description to take care of you all. When are you going to get that through your head, Bang Chan?” You huffed, kicking his feet.

“Don’t even try with him, noona,” I.N wheezed, finally able to speak. “Hyung is allergic to being cared for.”

“Yeah,” you mused, “I got the feeling.”

They danced for a few more hours, using the last half to practice their older songs and keep them fresh.

At one point, you were caught unconsciously moving your arms and legs like the dance called for. Your face went hot when the boys started imitating you and calling you cute.

One of these days, you were going to die of a heart attack.

At least you would die happy.

At the end of dance practice, Felix sank into the seat next to you and laid his head on your shoulder. You were a bit surprised at the affection but you welcomed it happily, lifting your hand to run through his hair.

Chan came to stand in front of you, the other members packing up their water bottles in their bags.

“So,” he huffed, still not fully recovered from the workout, “do you want to quit yet or do you still think you can handle eight of us?”

You smiled at him teasingly. “Are you that desperate for me to quit? You could just fire me, at least I would get a good compensation package.”

Before Chan could respond, you felt a tug at your wrist and turned to see Felix sniffing along it. When he caught your curious gaze, his eyes widened and he dropped your wrist like it burned him.

“Sorry!” He licked his lips and your thoughts evaporated momentarily. “I didn’t- you just smell so good, noona.” He scooted away from you and looked guiltily at Chan.

Choosing to analyze that later, you moved back into Felix’s space. “Hey, it’s alright! Here,” you grasped his wrist in your hands, mirroring his previous position, “I’ll smell you and that way we’re even. If that’s okay with you.”

He smiled softly and nodded at you, so you lifted his wrist to your nose and- oh fuck.

Felix’s scent flooded your senses. It smelled mostly like lemon but with a hint of something sweet as well. Maybe lemon pie or lemon cake? Definitely something lemon flavored with frosting. You felt like you could have started floating like a cartoon character when they smell something tasty. It wasn’t fair that he could smell like this after hours of intense dancing.

“Shit.”

You looked up at the word and were honestly surprised to see the other boys there. It really just felt like you and Felix floating on a lemony cloud. Even Chan’s presence had faded away.

Hyunjin was staring at you with his mouth parted, his hands paused where they had been rifling through his bag.

You froze. What the hell did he mean by that? Were you going to be fired for smelling Felix? And right after you had joked about getting fired? What kind of sick irony was that?

Before you could spiral any further, Hyunjin turned to Chan with his lips pouted. “Hyung,” he whined, “they’re too sexy for people who are already cute! Tell them they can’t be cute and sexy!”

You snorted at that. “Well, then you’re breaking your own rule, Hwang Hyunjin.”

His mouth parted in surprise before his lips moved into a shy smile as he looked away and zipped up his bag.

Chan made sure everyone’s scent patches were on and they had their things before exiting the dance studio. You walked down to the cars, listening as the boys decided to just take one car and have Hyunjin spend the night at the other dorm. Chan told them he was staying at the studio, which surprised no one, but the announcement was still met with groans.

“Hey, you can’t just blame me this time,” he said defensively, “Changbin and Hannie are joining me there!”

The groans of the others continued. “That doesn’t make it better,” I.N muttered.

Chan rolled his eyes as you made your way outside and shoved them towards one of the waiting vans. Minho started corralling them while Chan waited with you for the next van to pull up. Felix suddenly shot forward and wrapped his arms around you, tucking his head into your neck like he was trying his best to smell you despite the scent blockers you wore. You hugged him back before Minho patted Felix’s butt in a little “let’s go” gesture. The two of them along with Jeongin and Hyunjin waved at you as they finally got into the van.

“Bye, noona!” “See you, noona!” “It was nice to meet you, noona!”

You smiled and waved back at the younger members. Minho, the last one to get in, turned to you. “I hope you manage to survive meeting the others,” he smirked.

As they drove off, Chan edged closer to you and bumped your shoulder with his. “That went well, I think.”

You grinned at him. “Yeah, just be sure to let me know if any of them secretly hate me.”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “They like you more than they like me, but sure.”

“Just wait until I have them kick you out and elect me to be the new leader of Stray Kids.”

The van pulled up next to the two of you. Chan sighed. “Well, I guess this is it. I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N. Or should I say leader-nim?”

His eyes glimmered at you in a way that made you want to take a picture and keep it in your wallet.

In order to keep what was left of your sanity, you turned to the van and opened the door. “Call me what you want,” you told him over your shoulder, “but can I call you mine?”

You took a seat in the van and watched his jaw drop before he started giggling. You closed the door and watched him as you drove away. He was still smiling and had brought his hands up to half-cup half-hide his face.

I could get used to a view like this.

…

Taglist:

(Bold means I can’t tag you, sorry for the inconvenience!)

@eastleighsblog

@detectivedoodle

@niaalove

@scarletrosesposts

@royal-shinigami

@peachbokkie

@yuhjoeyuh

@im-sinking-in-mud

@lex-black

@amara-mars

@usercaiskz

@plutoneu

@queenmea604

@emithecharmer

@wrrmnrr

@anxious-fruity-basket

@thatgirlangelb

@haikyuuisposts

@midnightvictorysword

@sirenthalia

@kaheizz

@jinniespuppy

@im-a-slut-for-this-man2

@freakinthesheets-excelexcel

@julciaqwerty

@linoboop

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londonfoginacup · 3 months ago

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not the same anon and i’ve already asked this to someone else without an answer. i’ve never been to a show in the usa but it feels to me like there’s a different atmosphere in general over there so this comes from genuine curiosity: why do you feel like you have to bring a rainbow flag to a concert? let’s forget about louis for a second, just think of a random concert. you said you’ve gotten bad looks for bringing one but also you (and others) claim that flags in concerts are meant to feel people safe. do you not feel safe if you don’t bring a flag? do you not enjoy a concert if you don’t bring one/see one? what’s the need to bring flags? i promise this comes from curiosity because in all the years i’ve attended music shows and festivals, i’ve never felt like bringing the flags i own, but again, i’m not from the usa and i’m not well versed into tumblr queer culture.

Hi anon. I will take this as a good faith question, although your phrase “I’ve asked this to someone else without an answer” is something I suggest you do not include when asking things in future, because it implies you’re upset or blaming that other person for not responding. People have many reasons to not respond, some of which are simply time or time of day or spoons! We are all simply trying our best out here.

Now onto your question— I think that what’s missing here is fandom history. You said “forget about Louis for a second”, but actually what we need to do is look back at One Direction’s history.

I’ve written this out and tried to shorten it a number of times now, but the long and the short of it is that while the band was active, especially 2013-2014, the way that One Direction the Brand and Management handled rumors about Louis and Harry was to create a rift between “respectful fans” and “everyone else”. And the “everyone else” was people who thought Louis and Harry were in a relationship, yes, but it was also simply queer fans. Because those circles often overlap, OR because other fans would see that they were queer and put them in the same category.

Rainbow Direction was a movement made by fans in order to feel safe at One Direction shows specifically, because it was one direction shows specifically that people did not feel comfortable at, but desperately WANTED to feel comfortable at, because this band and these boys brought them comfort, spoke words in their songs that connected to their queer experience, etc.

I would not say that it’s USA specific so much that it’s 1D specific. I don’t… believe (I could be wrong) that I’ve brought a flag to a non-1D (or 1D adjacent) show, although I HAVE seen flags at those shows, like Declan McKenna I feel like I saw a flag or two there, for instance.

But honestly anon, when I bring a flag, it is not to make myself feel safe. It’s so that someone else who is queer can see that flag and know that I am a safe person. Likewise, when I see someone else with a flag, I know that I feel safe with them. It’s a way of saying you’re not alone.

Now, it might be helpful to know that I have attended EVERY 1D/Harry/Louis/Niall concert (but one) with @lululawrence . It’s her flags that I wear. She is the best sort of person you could ever hope to attend a concert with, but that’s beside the point. My point is that the one show that I remember the most dirty looks and feeling the most uncomfortable was the one Harry show we attended in… 2021? The end of the 2021. Harry’s fan base grew EXPONENTIALLY over the pandemic. That night, we saw maybe two flags in the pit and none anywhere else. There were more people dressed as bananas than people with flags. Sus and I had the bi and ace flags, and honestly anon, I started to want to hide it. The people around us gave us looks, I heard them talking about us although I tried not to listen. I wasnt afraid for our safety, but I was viscerally aware that the people around us didn’t understand the flags and didn’t want us there.

And I had been there in Nashville at the Ryman, when every flag had been confiscated and the security had been terribly mean and Harry had had to pull out his own and set it on stage at one point when the lights went down. That had been upsetting but we had all been on the same page, the fans and Harry, that the flags were important. Post-2020, that show was different. I felt like a creature on display for people to gawk at.

So when you talk about tumblr queer culture, I don’t actually know how much this extends past 1D/Louis/Harry. But in the beginning of 2023, when Sus and I went to the first concert we had booked (we had… four or five that year), and noticed how few flags there were, the two of us were specifically worried about concerts feeling the way that one in 2021 did. That’s why we did spent the next few months sending flags to every North America Louis show (and don’t get me wrong, I’d have done his other legs if I had the money to get them flags too. But all those flags in the NorthAmerica shows? A few friends whom I ADORE helped but mostly that was almost entirely out of my own personal budget). Because we wanted to make sure that everyone felt the safety of being able to spot a flag in the crowd and know that whoever was holding it was not someone who would reject them for their gender/sexuality.

Sure, another option is that no one brings flags and we all just sit and enjoy the music. That’s really fine. But I think for our fandom in particular it’s a bit of history, of being loudly rejected during the 1D days and then surging our support for one another for the solo tours.

And tbh yeah. Okay. America is scary and people are mean and i know so so SO many people who are ONLY out online or at shows like these. I want them to know im there with them.

So, I don’t know if I answered your question well. @takemehomefromnarnia or @lululawrence or any number of other people could probably answer it better.

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lavernius · 4 months ago

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Okay, this is probably gonna be a strong start, but: I've kinda hated Lopez because of the way RT insists on him being Mexican, but with your Locus post being so good and hinting at your interpretation of Lopez having themes of disconnection from his culture (Something I've struggled with and continue to struggle with in my own relationship to being Mexican), I really want to hear your thoughts about that topic, because I would genuinely love to not hate Lopez and to be able to see something even vaguely like myself in him.

Oh my god what a wonderful ask to recieve as Lopez’s biggest fan. You have every right in the world to hate Lopez IMO, he pisses me off a lot of the time for similar reasons. Thank you so much for your perspective and interest!

Here’s my “Lopez and racial allegories” meta, from the perspective of a second-gen brown immigrant! Tentative follow-up to my Locus colorism post, racism CW.

I’ll start by saying I am not Mexican myself, but of the very large denomination of “brown people who latch onto any brown character because it’s so hard to find representation in media”. I did grow up with a predominantly Mexican/Latino community, which doesn’t give me, like, a right to speak on your culture so much as it gives me a unique perspective and experience.

First and foremost: we all know Lopez’s entire existence is laden with not-so-subtle racism. In-universe as much as by the white creators themselves. The entire bit that Lopez is Mexican sheerly because he speaks broken Spanish is annoying! Coupled with the fact that his whole role on Red Team is doing manual labor and he’s largely ignored otherwise—yeah okay Rooster Teeth. Good going on that one. Let’s reclaim Lopez for the actual culture.

I’ve come to see Lopez as—no thanks to RT; I fill in the blanks of Lopez’s character on my own—a beacon of cultural alienation, social isolation stemming from racism, reclamation of tarnished pride, and a righteously furious statement of “Look at me, I’m here and I’m brown and I’m not sorry.”

ISOLATION/ALIENATION: You’d think the most obvious allegory to him being a brown person is the fact that he speaks Spanish. It IS, but not just because he speaks Spanish: his language is his skin, something he was “born” with and can’t change without mutilation of his body. He has to learn how to navigate a world specifically designed against his language barrier. If more people spoke Spanish or tried to learn, the metaphor wouldn’t be as potent, but it’s so rare for him to find someone “like him” that it’s less about the language and more about the isolation.

UNFAIR STANDARDS: The other obvious racial allegory is the usual “robot racism” of sci-fi (which is its own bag of worms that I despise), which constitutes for the other half of this meta. He IS his job as far as everyone else in concerned. When is he ever doing anything but fixing or building, as per Sarge’s orders or the team’s needs? Similarly, real-world POC often have to fight to prove we can be “as capable” as our white peers, and even when we are clearly capable it’s very easy for them to reduce us to our talents before the fact that we’re people.

He’s largely forgotten by the fandom, too, as a reflection of the show’s negligence. Not really much to say there, just kind of goes to show you how easily forgettable he is because he gets no respect as a character.

SOCIAL CONFORMITY: Lopez’s Technical Guide to Empathy has Lopez admitting he could fix his voice module himself, but doesn’t see the point since no one cared to fix it before. He has to conform to their “normal” to fit in, like many POC do to live comfortably in a predominantly white society. He doesn’t, out of pettiness more than actual pride; I know what that’s like.

RECLAMATION: As per the last point, I take his refusal to speak English as a “fuck you” to the notion that he HAS to for other people’s sakes. He has a love-hate relationship with his language barrier. There’s an outtake from 7 where he tries to get Sarge to fix his language module, but more recently he’s resigned to it or—as recently as S15—desired for people to learn Spanish FOR HIM instead. Reclaiming prejudice isn’t easy, but it fits Lopez as a person to say “You can’t hurt me with that if I own it.”

PRIDE: He’s proud of being a robot! No matter how much it slights him, he knows it’s who he is, and the trauma of existing results in him being almost afraid of being anything else. I like to pretend his S17 labyrinth METAPHORICALLY reflects a fear of being whitewashed, because even if he’s proud, he’s traumatized by the nature of being a robot. Replace “robot” with “POC”; standard robot racism stuff.

CULTURAL DISCONNECT: I kind of ignore that he speaks Spanish poorly in canon (I get the bit, I just don’t care for the execution), but when I acknowledge it it reminds me of the cultural disconnect of thousands of immigrants and their families, especially those who lost their language to the West and struggle to learn it in adulthood. Alongside this, living for years without ANY real, substantial exposure to someone he can talk to means he’s naturally more adjusted to the Reds’ lifestyles (on top of forcing him further into being cast out). If someone comes along and properly understands him—see Locus S12—for the first time since another robot did, of course he’s going to be shellshocked, he doesn’t actually have experience with that part of himself.

RESIGNATION/SELF-ERASURE: Lopez isn’t quiet by nature, he’s quiet because he has no one to talk to! Before the Reds betray him in Blood Gulch he doesn’t shut up. When he meets 2.0 he spends hours just talking to that kid. When they launch him into space in S15 he just talks to himself the entire time. Over time he just seems to grow more resigned to being ignored, which results in him stifling himself because of aforementioned isolation. I’ve seen a lot of my peers of color—who are too scared of the backlash of speaking—shy away from A) self-acceptance and B) self-defense (in various forms), because they don’t expect to be accepted, much less heard.

Like all reclamation, the only reason the “Lopez is a brown person” narrative works out is because it was intended to mock and offend. All of the bits I covered are just me recontextualizing unfunny bigotry from the show, which, sadly, is the easiest way to enjoy a lot of offensive RVB characters without mischaracterizing them entirely.

There are times, obviously, when Lopez’s language barrier doesn’t actually stop him from talking to people, but to me it’s more about the experience of isolation and anger and wanting to be proud but struggling to find the support for it. Literally half of these metaphors wouldn’t matter if he got to talk to someone who cared about him and understood him simultaneously.

Lopez is designed in such a way that hating him for his writing is genuinely justified. Still, if just for the sake of being able to tolerate him, I prefer seeing him as the brown person who is angry because the universe isn’t made for him and wants to see him fail, but lives just to spite it.

#rvb #rvb lopez #Shout out to you and all the other Mex/Latino RVB fans who have to suffer through canon Lopez.#In fact shout out to all the Black and Polynesian RVB fans who also have to suffer through bad/barely-there rep. ❤️#Thank you soooo much for the ask I think about this more than normal for an RVB fan. No jokes.#demon-of-side-quest-hell #inbox #lopez the heavy

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edenfenixblogs · 11 months ago

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This is just terminology but regarding asking goyim to ID ourselves as such, may I ask if there's a specific reason you prefer that phrasing? Asking because I've previously heard that hearing someone self-describe as goyische can be a bit jarring due to Connotations from white supremacists "reclaiming" the term (scarequotes bc that's obviously not how reclamation works) so I'm wondering if you have an alternate perspective I should be taking into account or if it's just like, personal preference/not that deep.

Ah! @faggotry-enjoyer, My friend! I did not see this message from you until today! My deepest apologies!

I didn’t mean that every goy had to specifically call themselves goy. I’m just descended from Hungarian, Russian, French, and Mongolian Yiddish speakers and that’s more familiar a term to me than “gentiles.”

Personally, I’ve always found “gentiles” a little awkward as a term anyway. As I’ve stated repeatedly, goy is a fully neutral word with no positive or negative connotations. But the word “gentile” seems to have a weirdly positive connotation that I find off-putting. It seems far too close to the word “gentility” for me.

It feels like “gentile” is a person of “the gentility,” thus inherently socially, behaviorally, and aesthetically superior to non-gentiles (aka Jews). Perhaps this is just because of my relationship to Hebrew (and its use of root constructions that convey connotations in the base structure of the word) that this seems to be a term that is inherently critical of Jews in a pretty blatant way. But it always seems just…idk. Uncomfortable for me to use I guess. It feels like I’m putting myself down to elevate someone else and acknowledging their inherent superiority over me.

That said, I am in no way suggesting that this is how all Jews relate to this word. I have studied Hebrew since I was very young (I’m not a fluent speaker anymore, but I was once), and I’m a writer and love words and etymologies. It is extremely likely that I am thinking more about this than someone else would or does.

So, I say goy because it is the most neutral to me. It doesn’t convey that I’m better than a goy or that a goy is better than me.

When I said “goyim identify yourself as such,” I meant more generally, “if you’re not Jewish, please indicate that in your reblog or tags when reblogging from a Jewish person.”

And to anyone who is new to my blog, the reason I asked goyim to do this is because Jews feel very alone and hated right now and a very easy way to help us feel better is to just let us know that someone outside of our community sees and hears us. It so very often feels like we are shouting from inside a soundproof room and we can only hear and be heard by each other.

There are so very few Jews left in the world. It is simply impossible for us to survive if we advocate for ourselves alone. We need goyische voices alongside our own if we hope to be heard at all amongst those who outnumber us.

One thing about Jewish culture though, we all disagree a lot about a lot of things. Someone probably does find it offensive to self-label as a goy. Someone else probably finds it offensive to reject the idea of self-labeling as a goy.

However, by and large, I think most Jews won’t be concerned that you’re appropriating our language and culture if you are using our language to identify yourself as someone who supports our culture. Yiddish isn’t a religious language, but a cultural one. While Judaism is a closed-practice religion, Yiddish is the language of our culture in exile. It is the language we used while existing in a goyische world that was and remains hostile toward Jews.

I think, personally, that if you’re not using our language to demean us, it’s not off limits. Like, call yourself a goy! You are one! It’s not a bad thing! But, like, don’t call Jews you disagree with schmucks or something like that. And, obviously, if someone is antisemitic then I do not want them using Yiddish at all.

If someone wants to condemn our culture, then I loathe the idea of them picking out the parts they can use for their own purposes. If you reject an entire culture, you do not get access to the parts of that culture you like, imho.

So, I guess (in answer to your question) it is personal preference but is also that deep. Jewish culture is old, deep, and complex. I'd never speak for other Jews, and I'm sure plenty disagree with me on this. But I have personally never heard of a Jewish person offended that a goy calls themselves a goy. Personally, I find it endearing.

#yiddish #language #Jewish culture #Jewish history #langblr #for the goys #judaism son

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phoenixisobsessed · 2 months ago

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I think you may be my favorite tumblr blorbo, art is scrumptious, you're so friendly and active, and I love seeing you post. Every day I wake up and check to see if you've posted anything new, and then I look at your old posts again. You are just so cool. Your ocs are cool too, I love reading your rambles and lore dumps.

I hope you are aware of how cool you are too. You inspire me a lot, to draw and otherwise.

Oh my god I’m sobbing.

I ngl post my stuff with long as hell rambles expecting literally nobody to read them because I am just The YapperTM and this…AARGEHHAGD. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY?? I AM SO TOUCHED??? Thank you. Thank you very much. I am glad to inspire others, really. I almost want to say that’s the reason I do this :,D

I ngl wake up every day, just immediately checking Tumblr for any new asks because I love answering them, talking, and seeing what people want from me. Like today I woke up to that one ask about my persona being a triple changer and I literally giggled and kicked my feet, so I can say, same here. I too wake up excited to see you guys.

I often say “I’m so cool guys” or something stupid like that. I’m one of those. But, I do genuinely feel pretty awesome. I know I’m not the perfect person but I feel pretty cool. B)

I always hate negativity and such things on the internet. All of the drama and cancel culture. There’s a reason the only social media I use is Tumblr because it at least feels a bit more chill here. I always inspire to be a bit more positive, lighthearted, and honestly just have fun. We all have dark moments in our lives, and honestly, if I can just make one person’s day just a little bit better, that would mean the world to me.

Now I’m getting a bit off topic ish, but some of this wanting to inspire and bring positivity into people’s lives may connect to my dreams of becoming a teacher xD. I hope to one day inspire as many people as I can to be the best versions of themselves. Like yeah, I joke around a lot and have a difficult time handling specific stressful situations, but damn if I can just make sure somebody else has the support or just inspiration to keep working towards what they want, I will literally have my life completed.

So anyway, summed up, I’m so happy you feel that way about my blog, because that’s exactly what I want it to be :). No judgement zone where I can just be myself, none of that dumbass influencer shabam where I put myself on a pedestal. I like interacting with others who have the same interests as me, and drawing. That’s all I want. And I’m so happy it’s working out. On this blog, we’re just being real. No fear. We’re ourselves because damn it it’s sure as hell okay to be who you are. We all need a safe space and I hope to provide that for at least one of you.

#thanks anon!#i love all of you #sobbing a little #transformers #maccadams #maccadam #asks open #send asks #send me asks #send anons #ask blog #anon ask #ask me anything #ask

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milk-ly · 6 months ago

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Ooh, if you want, 1, 6, 7 and 8 for the general Milgram questions :3

Aaa thank you so much for the ask!!��

1. Which Milgram character is your favourite, and why?

To no one’s surprise, it’s Fuuta LMAO

As for why, honestly, I just simply have a type when it comes to fav characters and I knew Fuuta was gonna be my fav as soon as I saw him. Aside from that though, I do REALLY love his character and the direction it’s going. I think his character and his crime being so specifically modern really does add an extra bit of fondness too, because the internet and the idea of cancel culture is so prevalent in our lives. It’s a really interesting topic

I especially like how his story tackles guilt and forgiveness as well. Because his inherent reaction to his guilt isn’t as palatable as Haruka, for example.

His reaction to being labelled as a murderer and realizing he did something awful is aggression. I think it’s why he’s often construed for not feeling guilt at all. It’s hard to sympathize or humanize someone who’s attitude/actions you don’t like. There’s a reason he’s so desperate for unity and belonging because his natural temperament isn’t typically acceptable within societal norms and leaves people with a bad taste in their mouths, which is why he lacks belonging. And the MILGRAM audience being a reflection of society reinforcing societal norms onto the MILGRAM characters again which throws them back into the cycles and situations that led them to their murders in the first place is so interesting!

Also his intense guilt and the idea of wanting to be “blessed” with forgiveness and another chance is a topic I really enjoy and feel for. And it’s especially interesting considering the “bless me with one more chance” line in Backdraft when thinking about why he found his salvation in Amane and her religion, because he DID finally get blessed with a second chance; a chance to be reborn. And his spiritual rebirth is especially highlighted with how seemingly different Fuuta is now. He’s much softer and kinder after finding his “salvation” and it’s so ough.

Sorry for the sudden fuuta rant💀 I really love him.

6. Which MV is your favourite and why?

Ooohhh this is hard. I haven’t thought about it. I have to say I really love After Pain and MeMe! For After Pain, it’s mainly the aesthetics. I LOVE the location and colour palette. The details of how Mu’s bullying is being portrayed as an unending cycle and the shoes and blackboard notes giving hints that Muu wasn’t a pure victim is really cool!! The detail of the MV being out of order too ooof

As for MeMe I’m not sure what it is I love about it but I really do! I love the aesthetics and location, especially paired with the song. Tbh Its been a while since I looked at the tarot cards but I think it’s really neat as well!! Also I really like Mikoto’s outfit-

7. Which prisoner do you think you would get along with the most if you met them in person, and why?

I think I’d probably get along the best with Yuno? I think we could go out and have fun dkdbdk I don’t know if we have that many common hobbies but I’d probably still get along well with her!

I also find I relate to Mikoto a lot but not in the similar hobbies way💀 so I think we’d get along but I feel like actually hanging out might be a little awkward. But it’d probably be fine after some time!

8. Which prisoner do you think you would get on with the least if you met in person, and why?

Oooof I really love everyone and I don’t think I would have any major problems with anyone or anything like that. But if I had to pick then probably Muu? I love her a lot but I don’t know if I’d have a fun time with her IRL😭

Aside from that, I think I’d get along with everyone else relatively fine aside from some awkwardness🥲

#sorry for talking so much😭 I’m using this as a chance to just ramble FKDBDK #milgram #Milkly ramble #milkly asks

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adamsuniverse1144 · 9 months ago

Text

I’m a theorist, I have so so so many headcanons it’s ridiculous. This could also be called ‘I explain questionable theories and you get upset because I managed to keep it in universe’.

One of my headcanons I’m exploring right now is kink/*wink wink* with my book Darkest Desires 🩷💙 (Genuinely writing it has been so hard and I’m losing resolve but it’s coming along!)

Now, when you think of our cinnamon roll couple you probably don’t go to the same place I do mentally so lemme break it down:

⭐️ As a person who is throughly traumatized and hangs out around a generation almost exclusively traumatized, I can say without a doubt most of us have multiple kinks (and shady ones at that).

Resulting headcanon: Bruh come on. These two are so traumatized, especially Steven. Sure he grew up pretty innocent, but trust me, innocence is sadly (and thankfully) not forever. Of course Steven still cries at everything and loves to sing and gets excited over nothing and he’s ADORABLE but well… once he is introduced there’s no telling what the hell is going to happen but it’s bound to be interesting.

⭐️ Connie is a sci-fy nerd. It’s in her blood, she loves to read, she’s savvy and smart. They literally acted out The Familiar Unfamiliar. Connie is nothing short of a dork and we love her for that.

Resulting headcanon: Connie totally writes and/or reads fanfiction. In Dark Desires, that’s the segue into kink because on one of Connie’s tabs is a bunch of saved kinky stories.

⭐️ Steven is a giant puppy boy. He’s playful and tries to be cheerful and his puppy dog eyes are a direct attack on you specifically. He’s so so cute 🥺 Someone who possess all that strength and is yet so gentle is just super powerful to me. Like he could destroy a whole lot before anyone got close to taking him down, and yet he chooses kindness almost all of the time.

Resulting headcanon: Steven is a power switch. He’s kind of a selfish lover, and I totally 98% believe Connie accidentally becomes a pillow princess most of the time. He likes to do the work to make her feel nice, it rarely ever crosses his mind to help himself along. Her pleasure is his, so it would make sense to me that regardless of the position, Stevens the gusto. The ones you’d expect to be gentle lovers are the ones with the most bang to their buck often, and Steven is a very passionate and expressive man. That would totally translate into “snuggle time” with Connie. *exhales* Wow keeping that PG-Debatable was hard.

⭐️ Connie is finally in control of her life after picking up that sword and swearing allegiance to the Crystal Gems. She doesn’t need to wield one anymore (not really) but she’s one of the bravest and fiercest knights in Gem Culture (and how can she not be with not dying in her weak human skin suit). Stevens hyperaffectionate, sweet and genuinely starving for her at all times. She’s independent so sometimes it can be too much, but she most often humors him with those cheeks still soft with baby fat and his cute face.

⭐️ Resulting headcanon: Submissive leaning switch. Period. COME ON, the people who fight the hardest in their everyday life could never be a full submissive, just like Steven probably isn’t a full dominant. Puzzle pieces. Of course she likes teasing and bossing him around (with consent) and of course Steven would do anything she asked him to do if he can find a way to do it. But sometimes your giant half alien boyfriend/fiance/husband is stressed and needs to release some stress in a healthy way that ends with cuddles and nap time.

I guess this is where my headcanon maybe diverges from things based on factual personality traits but I think Steven grows up to be a little jaded. It often happens when a lot of people your age just don’t relate to the things you’ve been through. You chameleon (mask) to match people’s energies if you can find the tolerance for it, but you never really truly feel like you fit in unless you’re with other traumatized people. Plus, hanging out with humans is gonna round him out a little, and he’ll pick up on human things especially geared towards men (though I personally think our Stevens closer to Gender-Fluid just leaning on masculine pronouns as preference).

⭐️ Resulting headcanon: Stevens a terminal flirt once he hits his middle to late 20’s. He likes when Connie blushes, he thinks it’s adorable so I’m sure Steven would spend a lot of his time flirting with her (now whether or not it’s working is the question) using his Universe Charm~ 😂 I’m positive Connie would find it hilarious with him shooting finger guns and being a goofball with curly hair and baby cheeks.

Anyways, no one asked for this and I’m screaming into the void but I had to get this out or I would die.

#steven universe #steven universe fanart #steven universe future #connie maheswaran #my writing #steven universe au #su fanart #writers #art #author #steven quartz universe #su steven #steven unvierse au #dark desires #headcanon

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psychopomp-recital · 7 months ago

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hi I just wanted to ask: what drew you to death magic specifically? and, if your comfortable, how do you deal with grief (both yours and others) by being a death witch? (plz don't feel obligated to answer if it's too invasive /gen)

Oh not too invasive at all! Thank you for being so polite, this response is very long I’m sorry you asked a rather deep question 🩵 CONTENT WARNING IN TAGS

What drew me onto this path?

TLDR; I have always been surrounded death and it has been an ever present part of my life. I hated the idea that when someone died they were gone forever that’s it. Because regardless if you believe in spirits, I hope we can all agree that we’re all collections of the ancestors who make up our bodies & the ancestors who make up our personalities, we are who we are because of those passed on. And I can all but hope that someday someone will remember me and my stories the same way I remember these folks.

I want to be a good ancestor someday.

THE LONG ANSWER

I was raised in the Southern United States. The culture of this area is that surrounded in death. Everywhere you go there is haunted places and cemeteries. There’s also a strong sense of family there, this feeling that everyone is woven and interconnected.

I was raised Mormon and by a folk magical family who taught me the importance of ancestor work. I understood that these folks are part of me, by blood or otherwise they have made me who I am.

I was raised holding hands with my ancestors chronic illness. I looked it in the face everyday. Haunted by the idea that someday my body would rot away the same way I saw theirs rot, reminded everyday that illness could rip my mother from me without warning.

I eventually realized I could continue to ignore death, pray I have time on this earth to do what I want to do and run from it. Or I could embrace its role in my life and welcome it like an old friend.

I found comfort in the idea that I could help those who have passed on. The families who never got to say goodbye now had an opportunity to at least send the message. I could do my part to calm the fear these folks feel when they slip further into deaths grasp. I found a purpose for the pain I was experiencing.

If I could learn all I can while I’m alive, perhaps when I die I’ll be able to leave behind my knowledge and someone can keep this practice going. In that way, they keep me alive too.

I heard you die twice, once when they bury you in the grave And the second time is the last time that somebody mentions your name.

How do I handle the grief of others and the personal grief I experience?

I think I actually made a post on this! I’ll link it below!

But honestly it just comes down to boundaries, and being kind to yourself. It’s okay to cry and be upset and miss those lost to us. It’s okay to mourn for the dead you work with. YOU ARE STILL HUMAN. Don’t loose sight of that.

Also if you check out #MyPsychopompJournal you’ll see some entries on grief and my raw experiences with it. The one below in particular is a pretty good example;

Let me know if you are interested in a more in depth post about how I handle grief personally because I don’t want to ramble more than I already have!

ASK MY ANYTHING ASKS ARE OPEN!

#cw: death #cw: chronic illness #cw: grief #death witch #death work #ask a death witch #witchblr #death witchcraft #folk practitioner #folk witchcraft #pagan #folk magic #folk practice #queer witch #witchcraft #death worship #ask a psychopomp

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lorenzobane · 2 years ago

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Happy Evil Author's Day to me :) This one is called "Federation Viewpoint," and I do hope to finish it one day. Basically, this one takes the framing device of the 5 things Garak learned about the Federation prior to his exile.

Prologue

“Welcome,” Grentak says, “to A Federation Overview for Non-Federation Specialists. If you were looking for “An Overview of Causeway Nations for Federation Specialists,” that is down the hall.”

Garak hears a few muffled footsteps and curses as a few other Order agents shuffle out of the room. Internally, he can’t help but think this is a profound waste of time. He specializes in what the Order terms “Causeway Nations.” Or, Non-Federation worlds that, while usually not allies of Cardassia, do tend to share a general antipathy for the tendencies of Starfleet. He’s learned Klingon, Romulan, Tzenkath, and a few others and considers himself an expert on their culture.

Why he also needs to receive an overview of an empire he never intends to see is beyond him.

The presenter, Grentak, starts talking again after the shuffle is complete. “I’m sure several of you are wondering about the wisdom of this course. It must seem highly inefficient and hardly furthering the Cardassian empire. However, we have found that this type of broad basis of understanding of overall Alpha Quadrant politics greatly improves the overall efficacy of our agents.”

What follows is a somewhat tedious history lesson that Garak is aware of; the Federation was founded out of a mixture of Vulcan, Andorian, Tellurite, and Earth cultures and represented a “Federation” of planets, not a nation the way the Cardassian Empire might understand it. To Garak it sounds horrendously divided and weak because of it.

Nonetheless, he pulls out his PADD and begins taking notes.

—-----------

Chapter 1

“One of the most striking tendencies of humans, specifically, is an almost unbearable urge to pack bond,” Grentak begins. “Pack bonding, as you may be aware, refers to the tendency of social animals to group together to form strong social bonds that allow for greater problem-solving. A great many cultures are prone to it, Cardassia very much included. However, humans take this tendency to a remarkable extreme. They can form deep, intense, and lasting bonds with creatures of nearly any species.”

Garak scoffs internally.

“As a result, we often tell our agents if you want information from a human, it makes very little sense to cause pain. It makes them lie. If, however, you are able to gain their trust and convince them that you are one of their ever-expanding pack, then they will give you information without you even having to ask. This technique was used to great effect by–”

“Well, if you ask me,” Bashir says, gesturing with one hand, “the book was a terrible tragedy.”

Garak’s eyebrows shoot up. He had given Bashir a reasonably famous comedy from the Cardassian Empire, Sanctions of Destruction. Written in the late Shri-Ep dynasty, the book has many of the staples that would eventually become commonplace in the literature of the state.

“Tragedy, Doctor? I think you’ll find that you are actually reading one of the most famous comedies of all time.”

Bashir takes a beat and then laughs. Garak raises an eyebrow ridge.

“Nothing, it's just… There is a famous human playwright, Shakespeare, and people often say that his tragedies can be as funny as his comedies, and his comedies can be as sad as his tragedies.”

“What is it that you found so tragic, Doctor?”

“Well,” Bashir starts before taking a long drag of his tea, “you can’t help but feel bad for poor Mila.”

Garak withholds the wince. Mila, one of the main characters, marries a man who she strongly dislikes at the urging of her father. The name of the titular character is a coincidence, he assures himself.

“Of course, but the comedy comes from her resistance. Ultimately, a good Cardassian knows that we all must serve the state first but our family second. Her hesitation and attempts at obfuscation and delay create circumstances that need to be frantically dealt with instead of the calm leisure of discipline and service.”

“I suppose I thought she would be happy in the end; you told me it was a light-hearted comedy. I agree that our loved ones are important, and their considerations should be valued, but surely you know people can be wrong just as Cardassians can be wrong. Who is to say that this man her father chose for her would be compatible?”

“He’s from a good family,” Garak counters. “He was raised with good values. Her father likes his parents. These traits indicate that they are likely to share a world view that will eventually lead to a prosperous union and many children.”

“Fat Cardassian babies,” Bashir says with an amused twinkle in his eye. “In any case, I can’t imagine being happy with something like that.”

“Of course not, Doctor. You are entirely too self-motivated.”

“Are you calling me selfish?”

Garak held up a hand peaceably. “Surely no one could accuse such a dedicated doctor of selfishness. And if I understand correctly, humans are allowed to reap the benefits of the empire without contributing to it unless they are personally interested.”

“First of all,” Bashir laughs, “thank you for the compliment. Second, the Federation isn’t an Empire.”

“We can get into that particular bit of sophistry later. For now, I am afraid I have to go- Morn has made an appointment for yet another pair of custom lingerie. I certainly appreciate the value of a variable wardrobe, but that man should learn to repurpose.”

“You really ought to hire someone, you know.”

Garak gave him a customer service smile. “Such excellent advice, Doctor. I’ll be sure to take it under advisement.”

Julian raised both of his hands in a human gesture for surrender. “Fine, then. Be that way. Don’t work yourself too hard, though; I hate when my friends end up in my sickbay.”

Garak’s brain spirals for a moment, but Bashir keeps chattering about how he wishes he could impress upon everyone in the station the importance of thinking through the consequences of interspecies mating before they take their pants off. A friend. Was it really so simple for humans? Julian had, only recently, saved him from certain death, but Garak had been under no illusions. The Doctor helped because he was helpful, and the doctor was kind to him because the doctor is kind. But here they are. He had been cruel, difficult, and insulting, and yet–

Humans will pack bond with anything. A voice haunts his mind. It appears that Garak, of all people, might be considered, by a particularly stunning and accomplished human, to be worth forming a bond with. To be worth knowing and trusting deeply. The Order agent in him crows; how much could he make the good Doctor give him now that they have established trust? Could he get enough information to go back to Cardassia?

Garak shakes his head at his own foolishness. Tain is the only one who can end his exile, and if there were information that Bashir had that Tain wanted, he never would have been let off the planet.

Which means… Which means…

Garak has simply… Made a friend.

As he walks away, he can’t help but remember the warmth, the joy in Bashir’s eyes, the way his mouth twisted along the edge of his dessert spoon, and think that Federation's insidiousness goes much further than he realized.

#my writing #evil authors day #garashir

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numbknee · 2 years ago

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Enough of the suffering thru the asks abt all the other cartman ships, what abt your brain rot? 🥺 what *are* your thoughts on kyman?? Go ham dude

ooooh dear... where to begin with the kyman brainrot....... I guess I’ll start at the beginning. VERY LONG POST under the cut. this is basically my kyman meta magnum opus lmao

I’ve talked about this ad nauseam before, but I really, REALLY didn’t want to get into south park. I had only ever watched like 2 full episodes before 2021 and I simply did not understand the appeal. I just thought the draw to the show was the shock factors: gross-out humor, children swearing and committing violence, and blatant bigotry played for laughs. I didn’t understand how it could be so popular other than “well I guess there are lots of horrible people out there who like this horrible show.”

I grew up in a very WASP-y town and had peers in elementary/middle school who learned about the existence of antisemitism and other bigotries through south park. because kids are stupid and don’t understand satire, many of them took it at face value and were able to have shittons of words added to their vocabulary to put people down and insult them. it was horrible tbh. and I hated the show for that, even as a young kid. I personally wasn’t perfect by any means but even as a snot-nosed, extremely sheltered little white girl I knew that you just shouldn’t do that shit. our school system in particular lauded the “golden rule” constantly (we had to do a school-specific pledge after the pledge of allegiance every day... yeah I know, very american) and I was like “cmon, you guys can’t even follow that ONE RULE to be a semi-decent human being?? really??”

anyway at the end of 2021, my younger brother asked me to watch the post-covid specials with him and he was very excited about it. I was immediately hesitant, especially because in recent years he has become alarmingly incel-y and took a hard turn to the right while I became a leftist. I reluctantly agreed to sit through it to try to understand him more because, even though his political ideology sucks ass, he’s still my brother and I do love him.

so I watched the specials, and I came out the other side of it shell-shocked with how surprisingly good the writing was. THIS stupid show, the show that all this time I thought was bottom-of-the-barrel comedy, was... GOOD??? particularly regarding CARTMAN??

the only things I knew about cartman going into it were the following: he’s fat, he says the name “kyle” weird, and he’s a horrible antisemite. and they made him grow up to be a freaking RABBI. it completely caught me off guard and *gasp* actually made me laugh???? what????

there were plenty of other things I loved about the post-covid specials, like my depressed ass relating WAAAY too hard with stan, the extremely on-the-nose satire of the state of advertisement/capitalism with the stupid “denny’s applebee’s max” restaurant chain gag and all the old people being shoved into a giant prison retirement home once they aren’t productive anymore, kenny getting sick of the gang’s bullshit and writing “FUCK THESE HOES” on a beloved childhood photo, butters become a snake-oil salesman for NFTs, kyle being told to “think like a kid” and like 2 seconds later realizing they need to look up kenny’s ass. I could go on but you get the point.

I liked it way more than I thought I ever would. and obviously, I often find south park funny for different reasons than my brother does because matt & trey are very good at toeing the line of appealing to both sides of the american political spectrum, but it’s become a point of bonding between us in the year since I started watching the show and I’m grateful for that.

of course, since i’m terminally on tumblr and ao3, I also started to dive into the fandom of south park. I had heard about the whole creek thing years ago and waved it off as a stupid gag but then I realized wait, holy shit, there’s actually a GIGANTIC shipping culture around south park??? at first I got into style because of the interesting concept of post-covid kyle and stan reconnecting after decades apart and not being the same people they used to be but trying to make it work anyway (I even wrote a fic about it ahahaa...)

but after a while I got tired of the ship because as I watched the rest of the show, I realized their relationship just wasn’t as interesting as I thought it would be. like they’re best friends but... why? because they’ve known each other forever? they both like video games? they make fun of cartman together? the fact they’re “super-best-friends” is kind of taken for granted by the show and the audience, but imo matt and trey never really explore the intricacies of their relationship very much. y’all can disagree with me on this but idk, all I know is that I got bored with style as a ship after like 2 months.

while scrolling through ao3 and tumblr, I ran across kyman fics/fanart for the first time back in february or so. at first I was appalled because... why the everloving fuck would you ship the blatant antisemite with the jewish kid??? really???? isn’t style a much better choice??? but sheer curiosity got the better of me, so I did what I always do when I’m curious about a ship: select for fics with kyle broflovski/eric cartman, sort by kudos, and read the first result (or in this case the second because the first had creek as the main ship). y’all know which fic that is if you’ve even slightly gotten into kyman. it was interesting, but I personally didn’t see them as the actual characters from the show in that fic. they were fandom versions of kyle and cartman, with their personalities changed enough to fit the standard mlm shipping dynamic that’s popular in fandom spaces (particularly regarding dom/sub aspects). I’ve seen it happen in plenty of other fandoms so I wasn’t surprised, but I still couldn’t see how it could possibly work if one were to use their canon character depictions.

all the while I was making my way through episodes of the show cuz it’s long af, and over time I became more and more intrigued with kyle and cartman’s relationship. cartman quickly became my favorite character in the show because of how fucking complex and layered his personality is (see my tags on this post), and though kyle despises cartman in countless ways, he still is the only one who consistently tries to find goodness in him, tries to make him change for the better, saves him when no one else will, and remains his friend despite everything. it’s a remarkably complex dynamic.

little hints of kyman started creeping up on me: cartman being frequently queer-coded as a closeted gay kid. kyle getting extremely jealous of cartman and heidi’s relationship. both of them on separate occasions saving the other from death or injury without wanting any credit for it or lording it over each other. “we've been through a lot together, and... maybe that alone doesn't make us friends, but it makes us something”

needless to say, I started to get it. and then I encountered the straw that broke the camel’s back: “know your enemy” by elsen on ao3. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve read that fic probably over a dozen times. it was shockingly well-written and so in-tune with the style and tone of the show that I was like “is this person spirit-channelling trey parker or something wtf???” and all of a sudden, I could see how, in a different universe, kyman could actually be an endgame ship.

what sold me on it the most was how in-character it seemed for cartman to be a repressed, denial-ridden sub, especially regarding his desired relationship with kyle. there’s plenty of canon evidence that cartman has a secret crush on kyle (see this vid by johnny 2 cellos), but there’s no way that kyle could reciprocate those feelings, right?? imo kyle would probably rather die than enter a romantic relationship with cartman where he had to submit to him all the time, but if cartman would want kyle to be dominant over him??? where kyle has control and is able to curb cartman’s problematic behavior as he sees fit??? that opens up a whole other door of possibilities.

I think what kyle wants more than anything else in the world regarding cartman is for the goodness he sees deep down inside him to come to the surface, and for kyle to be the one to guide him (or force him when necessary) to becoming a better person through love and patience and inherent understanding of his fucked up little head??? I can definitely see kyle wanting that (especially since I see kyle as a repressed, denial-ridden sadist/dom lmao; see this post for my thoughts on that).

it was all downhill from there. I found tons of other cool kyman shippers on tumblr and twitter whose writing and fanart helped suck me in even more and I’ve been stuck in kyman hell ever since. special shoutout to the asker for her kyman analysis posts that inspired this fic I wrote! love u boo <3

ANYWAY that’s how I became a whore for kyman lolololol ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ have a nice day everybody

#if you read this whole thing i love u #i hope to god no one i know irl finds this blog 🙃🙃🙃#this also doubles as a personal fandom history for myself lol #kyman #ask #my post

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belovedgamers · 3 months ago

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Happy Birthday!! :D Hope you have a good day :3

Tosses you these asks as well🍬🥐☁️

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Oh boy. Okay. Sorry about what’s the wordiness that’s about to happen ToT

So, for a while there, it was very popular to headcanon that the Codfather Head Jimmy wears is what helps him breathe on the surface, most often because of his fishy nature. I think this was around even pre-seablings reveal but after it was revealed that he was a “small and damaged egg” in his origin story, it became a bit more present. It’s often used to justify why he’d be willing to go to war for it in the End or the finale or why the characters/narrative see its theft as a particularly cruel move from fWhip/Sausage/the WRA at large.

There are a couple reasons why I’m not a super fan of this? I don’t hate it but it’s not really for me. To start with, and this is very much personal preference as a writer, I like it better when Lizzie and Jimmy (believe they) are humans to start with. Lizzie has an arc that’s been a bit forgotten all about her researching the ocean mutations in her empire and later highlighting them in herself. I think at this point, if you read my work, you will be to spot immediately that I enjoy both the identity and the body horror that these arcs allow me.

On a more general note, I think it’s unnecessary? The Codfather Head was a symbol of Jimmy’s status as, well, the Codfather. He is the highest-ranked among his people and the Head is the headdress that reflects that. I don’t blame people for not seeing it that way, it is a cod head in minecraft! That’s inherently incredibly goofy! And, you know, most people’s idea of what a title would be in a series called Empires would be emperor or king, and a monarch’s headwear is mostly interpreted to be, well, the crowns, much like (especially) european monarchies. And giving a reason why this thievery is personal isn’t wrong.

But, look, okay, I’m from Mexico. Like basically all of the countries in America, we have a long history of our cultural artifacts being stolen from us. El penacho de Moctezuma comes to mind as a headdress currently living in Vienna (though the discussions arr complicated) but our existing códices are almost all in their museums and libraries too. That’s our history!

So, I’m not saying that it’s wrong to try and justify why a renamed minecraft cod head matters so much, but I do think if you want to explore the politics of the theft and the cruelty of it + how its importance (and the role it represents) is disrespected and diminished by other characters, and why Jimmy, a hotheaded and prideful character who desperately wants to be seen as a worthy equal, does so much in its name… there is a much more interesting angle available. I’ll stop now because I’m getting embarrassed.

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh

Oh man. References. Uh…

“I wish all [group or person named with various levels of specificity] a very [sometimes an adjective, sometimes a phrase, sometimes a verb or a noun].”

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

Here? My friend Si loved the dsmp and would put a lot of art on the dash, so I made a sideblog to reblog it. I named it belovedranboo after one of the few characters I was aware of snd enjoyed (this was in early-ish 2021 so I was Incredibly surprised the name was available). I later switched to belovedgamers during my foolish underscore underscore gamers phase.

It’s kinda funny now bc afaik, Ranboo beloved isn’t really a bit many of their fans or themself do anymore, and Foolish has dropped first the underscores and now “Gamers” entirely.

Thank you for the birthday wishes!! Sorry for the extremely long answers!! Have a Wonderful day!!!

It’s my birthday! Writer’s truth or dare!

#hiiii wandaaaaaa #it made me so happy to see your ask!!#how are ya!! how’s it going?#i could go on and on forever about the first ask but at some point i had to start cutting stuff out ToT #‘everyone is doing jim takes so i should try smth else’ i said. whoops.#have a lovely day my friend!!!#catrina answers #catrina analysis #it’s going in there bc i said so

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phregnancy · 2 months ago

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Hi. I know you said you don't usually respond to asks of this nature, but I just wanted to add to the interruption discourse even if you don't publish this.

I would like to push back on the idea that chronic interrupting is always rude and easy to just stop or work out in therapy (Also, if this is not what you were saying, I'm sorry :3). I'm not saying this is the case for Dan, but often times this behavior is because of neurodivergence or a genuine disability. If you have poor vision, hearing issues, auditory processing issues, social skill issues, etc. it can often be genuinely difficult to tell when someone is done talking (even when you are actively listening to them to the best of your ability.) Furthermore, just because we see someone frequently interrupting others, doesn't mean they are not actively working to communicate better; these things often take time.

Furthermore, what is or isn't considered rude is dependent on context and culture. Conversational styles that include interrupting, cooperative overlapping, are not considered rude in many cultures and situations.

All that being said, I do think constantly interrupting someone and then disregarding their frustrations (like rolling your eyes when they call you out lol) is rude and uncooperative because people with different communication styles who want to have a relationship with each other should be making a conscious effort to consider each others needs, abilities and feelings.

Again, this is not to defend Dan's interruptions specifically or say that interrupting is never rude, but more so just point out that interrupting is not always considered rude, and not interrupting can be genuinely difficult to just stop doing for many people. Of course, this doesn't mean people who are bothered by interrupters are wrong (or ableist, or culturally insensitive etc.) or shouldn't point out the behavior. In fact, the best way to help accommodate an interrupter is to just let them know they are doing the thing again, and if they care about your relationship they should be receptive.

Anyway, thank you for reading all that if you did. I really appreciate it. And if you didn't... you're real for that lol.

the issue i’m having with all of these asks i’ve received is that people are talking to me like i do not understand what it’s like to be neglected by my family (as multiple people have given that as a reason for why dan behaves like this, which is why i said he should work this out in therapy if people are saying its a trauma response) and that i’m not neurodivergent, when i am autistic and i do very well know what it’s like to experience severe and extreme neglect over a long period of time. also talking at me using things as excuses, when really there is no excuse. they explain why someone might talk over people and interrupt, but ultimately it is still on us to make the effort when people are communicating to us that this is an issue. and it is our loved ones responsibilities to openly and directly communicate and show us grace as we make efforts, so there is no building resentment or confusion as to what the problem is or what their feelings are. communication, respect, and effort are the key components. also i am overly familiar with cultural differences, i come from a culture where everyone is talking over each other constantly and that is the norm. that is not the issue - the issue is when someone is unhappy and has communicated to you that you talking over them is a problem, or you are broadly aware of how this is viewed as a problem that you have inflicted upon people, and you do not take that seriously and try to excuse it. we all have personal responsibilities to ourselves and to each other, and a british allistic (as he proudly stated recently) man continuing a behavior he has been told someone doesn’t like and has rolled his eyes over in the past is bad. that’s it. i do not have anything more to contribute to this conversation.

#this started bc i said dan talking over phil was bad. and people are turning it into a conversation about ableism and not being sympathetic #towards abuse survivors. when i am autistic and had to be taken away from my parents bc of the severity of the neglect and abuse.#i am not talking about this anymore and if you still disagree you do not have to follow me

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tamelee · 10 months ago

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I skimmed through it a bit but I think OP did somewhat decent research on the topic of fetishization regarding shipping/fandom. Such criticism is in many ways very valid. Very prevalent in the t/b-discourse as well. OP themselves say that it’s a new exploration on the topic so it’s of no surprise to me that it’s written as a broad generalization.

And very irrelevant to the actual story or the question that was asked.

So, no- it’s not good criticism because the irrelevant conclusion doesn’t say anything about SNS specifically. And how valid is it anyway if it stated that the bond between Naruto and Sasuke is no different from other characters? Lmao, that’s downright wrong in every way and disrespectful to the craft even if you don’t agree with them as a couple. Even Naruto/Sasuke haters are able to see otherwise and it’s often a source of hatred in the first place. Their ‘rivalry’ is explored in the story and in many ways actual ‘text’ is used to explain it further, how it came to be and what it eventually means. The person of the Ask, asked a very valid question, yet all of that is dismissed for the sake of a conversation regarding fetishization in fandom and using that to criticize and disprove SNS.

It’s the whole “Kishimoto didn’t know what he was doing”- argument all over again but coated with fancy words. That’s not to say that everything is wrong, I’m just saying fandom is irrelevant to the actual story. SNS-fans say unhinged things as well and there are many things I don’t agree with either. Assumptions about Kishimoto’s personal life and stating those ideas as being true or even remotely provable is definitely one of them. Chastising shippers from other fandoms for using filler-material and then flaunting a ‘SNS’-quote from a novel written by the same person that provided the filler-material for other ships is most definitely another. There is certainly fetishization happening in this fandom and that’s not something you can simply fight or disprove of in a way in order to remove it completely. It still got nothing to do with the story itself though or Kishimoto’s intentions regarding ‘Naruto’. OP lumps us all together and assumes a fan’s entire thought-pattern, thinks majority of us are Western (which blames any valid argument on culture which is bollocks) and don’t know anything about Japan if we think there is gay-subtext because surely Japan doesn’t unless it was meant to (which is rich tbh), our ideology that we all apparently share and decides to criticize all of us because of our toxicity and internalized misogyny. ‘Because an SNS-fan is all of that and therefore whatever we say is wrong.’ That isn’t okay for any of us to do regarding other sub-fandoms, nor is it in this case. And yet OP continues to say that they don’t personally prefer SNS followed with more subjective thoughts which is fine, but doesn’t prove anything. Honestly, in what way did you think this was better criticism? At what point did it actually answer the question or did it link their newly acquired research to the story?

“As expected from Sasuke fans lol.”

...uh, if you say so 👀 I'd personally would be a bit more specific. And I'm sorry but I don't know the other person you talked about ><

😩 you are all torturing yourselves reading these tbh

#asktamelee #fandom talk

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dumbass-tumbler-cryptid · 4 months ago

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(It's possible this question was asked once but I don't remember the exact answer😅)

Hi, have you watched Avatar The Last Airbender? If so, what kind of bendings do you think the Avatar (blue one) characters would have? Also, if the characters in Cabin had these powers (but they didn't live in the world of ATLA, but still the one you wrote), what would they be and how would they affect the plot? (additionally, I'm curious about the AU where Paz would live and have 4 children with Quaritch (he gives me fire bending vibe), I think they would be different benders, so I'm curious what their children would inherit) Thank you in advance for your answer!

I wish you could have seen how done right giddy I got when I saw this ask. I love Avatar The Last Airbender! I was a little kid when the show was coming out and I loved it since the first episode. One of the extra Nickelodeon channels we had with our cable package did marathon of ATLA every summer with pop up facts on every episode that I’d watch constantly so yeah I’m a pretty big ATLA fan so I love this question so much!

Luckily Avatar is also kinda broken up into elements too

The Metkayina are a water tribe making them all waterbenders with Ronal and Tsireya having an emphasis on healing

I’m going back and forth on whether the Omatikaya should be earth or airbenders because I could see either. If I’m remembering correctly though air nomads where also big on music and the Omatikaya are a musical tribe so I’m going to say they’re all airbenders.

All humans are non benders so Jake, Quaritch and Spider can’t bend. Even after getting there avatars/new body Jake and Quaritch can’t bend. Jake also passed down his non bender abilities to Lo’ak making him the only natural born Na’vi that’s not a bender.

And obviously Kiri is the Avatar.

Now in Cabin I’m still going to say Jake and Lo’ak are non benders and Kiri is the Avatar but I do think your so right that Quaritch would be a fire bender.

In ATLA and in Avatar the nations/ tribes don’t really mix. They communicate with each other sure but you don’t really see people from two different nations/ tribes getting together. That wouldn’t be the case in my modern au. Different benders would be mixing since the Industrial Revolution (like in legend of Kora) making it so you can pretty much end up with any type of bending regardless of what your parents are.

I think Tuk and Neytiri would still be airbenders. I had to think long and hard about Neytiri because I could also see her as a fire or earth bender because of how fierce she is but then I remembered how terrifying and dangerous a pissed off airbender could be.

Neteyam would be an earth bender. I know most earth benders we see in ATLA are very rowdy people (looking at Toph specifically) but earth to me represents stability and assuredness and that’s Neteyam to me. So an earth bender raised with philosophies of an airbender.

Paz would be an airbender raised with no attachment to any airbender culture so she is not peaceful/ monk like at all

As for Spider I can see it going so many ways. I can see him just being a non-bender putting him at a similar disadvantage as a human on Pandora. I could see him also being either an earth or airbender but I think I’d be most interesting for him to be a fire bender raised with air bender philosophies. Maybe even growing up hating that he’s a fire bender since fire benders are often the villains of the story. So Spider doesn’t use his bending very much. Some times even pretends like he’s a non bender so people feel safer around him.

When Quaritch kidnaps Spider the kid is woefully outmatched. Maybe, since this is a modern a.u something like pressure point patches that “turn off” someone’s bending have been invented. Because we saw fighters in ATLA that could take away someone’s bending temporarily by hitting the right pressure points. So Quaritch attaches these to Spider while he’s unconscious (I don’t know how you force someone to keep them on. Maybe it’s more technical and they actually dig into the skin like a leech and you need a passcode to make them release. I don’t know though that sounds nuts to me. There would have to be a way to lock them on though so you could “take away” someone’s bending semi-permanently) Since Spider doesn’t have his bending Quaritch just keeps the front door locked letting Spider walk around during the day while locking him in his room at night. If Spider gets rebellious Quaritch uses the threat of his bending to keep him in line. He’d never do something that would permanently scar him but Quaritch isn’t one to make empty threats. I could see Spider throwing and breaking things, picking up furniture and beating it against the windows to try and break them. Quaritch lights the palm of his hand and firmly tells him to stop or he’ll regret it. Spider doesn’t stop and before he registers what’s happening Quaritch snatches him up by his braid and turns it to ash in seconds. Spider freezes he’s so stunned and Quaritch just picks him up and tosses him into his room to “cool down.” The experience makes Spider much more cautious about acting out, unwilling to find out just how far Quaritch would take his punishments.

But things would pretty much play out like in Cabin with Quaritch using his bending as a fear tactic to keep Spider from acting out and doling out praise and love when Spider is being good in his eyes slowly eroding Spider’s scene of self and praying on his need for acceptance and love. I doubt he’d ever allow Spider to take the pressure point patches off until he is well and truly brainwashed after years of captivity. I imagine it’d take a few days for his bending to come back after it’s been blocked for so long but once his fire power comes back Quaritch starts training him to use his bending. Quaritch would be a fire bending master with blue flames and also capable of lighting bending. Sparing with his father actually scares Spider (or Miles by that point) even more because he knows without a doubt that he’s no match for him. Not yet at least. It would take years of training but eventually he’d be just as skilled as his father.

Now as for my other a.u’s (which I’m kinda surprised anyone still cares about. I have half baked ideas for a part 5 of the Paz lives modern au and a part 4 of the Cabin au where Quaritch and Paz had four kids before she passed and Quaritch kidnaps all of them, I just truthfully haven’t felt very motivated to finish them since I’m working on my other fics)

So for my o.c’s:

Hunter would be a water bender who’s particularly good at healing. When he’s pissed though he’s terrifying. Totally got mad during a full moon once and blood bended on accident freezing his entire family in there spots. It freaked him out so bad he cried for days. If this is in the Paz lives au where they’re a big happy family then his parents had to take him to therapy and be very gentle and encouraging with him for months before Hunter even thought about using his bending again.

Ada would be a fire bender just like her dad and brother but she really just uses her bending for showy theatrics. She’s a pretty amazing fire dancer.

Gunner is an airbender with the soul of an earth bender and so he’s just kinda bad at it. Makes big hard gust of wind that’ll knock you right over but can’t fly or do any of the more graceful airbender techniques that his mom excels at. Paz is really patient with him though (she doesn’t have a favorite child but it does make her happy that at least one of her children has her bending) and he gets better but he doesn’t get really good until his father works with him. His father’s brutal style of firebending just suits Gunner’s airbending.

Those are my thoughts. I hope you enjoyed! Thank you so much for the question 💙

#miles spider socorro #spider socorro #miles quaritch #colonel miles quaritch #avatar fanfiction #my fanfic #paz socorro

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