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Enough of the suffering thru the asks abt all the other cartman ships, what abt your brain rot? 🥺 what *are* your thoughts on kyman?? Go ham dude
ooooh dear... where to begin with the kyman brainrot....... I guess I’ll start at the beginning. VERY LONG POST under the cut. this is basically my kyman meta magnum opus lmao
I’ve talked about this ad nauseam before, but I really, REALLY didn’t want to get into south park. I had only ever watched like 2 full episodes before 2021 and I simply did not understand the appeal. I just thought the draw to the show was the shock factors: gross-out humor, children swearing and committing violence, and blatant bigotry played for laughs. I didn’t understand how it could be so popular other than “well I guess there are lots of horrible people out there who like this horrible show.”
I grew up in a very WASP-y town and had peers in elementary/middle school who learned about the existence of antisemitism and other bigotries through south park. because kids are stupid and don’t understand satire, many of them took it at face value and were able to have shittons of words added to their vocabulary to put people down and insult them. it was horrible tbh. and I hated the show for that, even as a young kid. I personally wasn’t perfect by any means but even as a snot-nosed, extremely sheltered little white girl I knew that you just shouldn’t do that shit. our school system in particular lauded the “golden rule” constantly (we had to do a school-specific pledge after the pledge of allegiance every day... yeah I know, very american) and I was like “cmon, you guys can’t even follow that ONE RULE to be a semi-decent human being?? really??”
anyway at the end of 2021, my younger brother asked me to watch the post-covid specials with him and he was very excited about it. I was immediately hesitant, especially because in recent years he has become alarmingly incel-y and took a hard turn to the right while I became a leftist. I reluctantly agreed to sit through it to try to understand him more because, even though his political ideology sucks ass, he’s still my brother and I do love him.
so I watched the specials, and I came out the other side of it shell-shocked with how surprisingly good the writing was. THIS stupid show, the show that all this time I thought was bottom-of-the-barrel comedy, was... GOOD??? particularly regarding CARTMAN??
the only things I knew about cartman going into it were the following: he’s fat, he says the name “kyle” weird, and he’s a horrible antisemite. and they made him grow up to be a freaking RABBI. it completely caught me off guard and *gasp* actually made me laugh???? what????
there were plenty of other things I loved about the post-covid specials, like my depressed ass relating WAAAY too hard with stan, the extremely on-the-nose satire of the state of advertisement/capitalism with the stupid “denny’s applebee’s max” restaurant chain gag and all the old people being shoved into a giant prison retirement home once they aren’t productive anymore, kenny getting sick of the gang’s bullshit and writing “FUCK THESE HOES” on a beloved childhood photo, butters become a snake-oil salesman for NFTs, kyle being told to “think like a kid” and like 2 seconds later realizing they need to look up kenny’s ass. I could go on but you get the point.
I liked it way more than I thought I ever would. and obviously, I often find south park funny for different reasons than my brother does because matt & trey are very good at toeing the line of appealing to both sides of the american political spectrum, but it’s become a point of bonding between us in the year since I started watching the show and I’m grateful for that.
of course, since i’m terminally on tumblr and ao3, I also started to dive into the fandom of south park. I had heard about the whole creek thing years ago and waved it off as a stupid gag but then I realized wait, holy shit, there’s actually a GIGANTIC shipping culture around south park??? at first I got into style because of the interesting concept of post-covid kyle and stan reconnecting after decades apart and not being the same people they used to be but trying to make it work anyway (I even wrote a fic about it ahahaa...)
but after a while I got tired of the ship because as I watched the rest of the show, I realized their relationship just wasn’t as interesting as I thought it would be. like they’re best friends but... why? because they’ve known each other forever? they both like video games? they make fun of cartman together? the fact they’re “super-best-friends” is kind of taken for granted by the show and the audience, but imo matt and trey never really explore the intricacies of their relationship very much. y’all can disagree with me on this but idk, all I know is that I got bored with style as a ship after like 2 months.
while scrolling through ao3 and tumblr, I ran across kyman fics/fanart for the first time back in february or so. at first I was appalled because... why the everloving fuck would you ship the blatant antisemite with the jewish kid??? really???? isn’t style a much better choice??? but sheer curiosity got the better of me, so I did what I always do when I’m curious about a ship: select for fics with kyle broflovski/eric cartman, sort by kudos, and read the first result (or in this case the second because the first had creek as the main ship). y’all know which fic that is if you’ve even slightly gotten into kyman. it was interesting, but I personally didn’t see them as the actual characters from the show in that fic. they were fandom versions of kyle and cartman, with their personalities changed enough to fit the standard mlm shipping dynamic that’s popular in fandom spaces (particularly regarding dom/sub aspects). I’ve seen it happen in plenty of other fandoms so I wasn’t surprised, but I still couldn’t see how it could possibly work if one were to use their canon character depictions.
all the while I was making my way through episodes of the show cuz it’s long af, and over time I became more and more intrigued with kyle and cartman’s relationship. cartman quickly became my favorite character in the show because of how fucking complex and layered his personality is (see my tags on this post), and though kyle despises cartman in countless ways, he still is the only one who consistently tries to find goodness in him, tries to make him change for the better, saves him when no one else will, and remains his friend despite everything. it’s a remarkably complex dynamic.
little hints of kyman started creeping up on me: cartman being frequently queer-coded as a closeted gay kid. kyle getting extremely jealous of cartman and heidi’s relationship. both of them on separate occasions saving the other from death or injury without wanting any credit for it or lording it over each other. “we've been through a lot together, and... maybe that alone doesn't make us friends, but it makes us something”
needless to say, I started to get it. and then I encountered the straw that broke the camel’s back: “know your enemy” by elsen on ao3. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve read that fic probably over a dozen times. it was shockingly well-written and so in-tune with the style and tone of the show that I was like “is this person spirit-channelling trey parker or something wtf???” and all of a sudden, I could see how, in a different universe, kyman could actually be an endgame ship.
what sold me on it the most was how in-character it seemed for cartman to be a repressed, denial-ridden sub, especially regarding his desired relationship with kyle. there’s plenty of canon evidence that cartman has a secret crush on kyle (see this vid by johnny 2 cellos), but there’s no way that kyle could reciprocate those feelings, right?? imo kyle would probably rather die than enter a romantic relationship with cartman where he had to submit to him all the time, but if cartman would want kyle to be dominant over him??? where kyle has control and is able to curb cartman’s problematic behavior as he sees fit??? that opens up a whole other door of possibilities.
I think what kyle wants more than anything else in the world regarding cartman is for the goodness he sees deep down inside him to come to the surface, and for kyle to be the one to guide him (or force him when necessary) to becoming a better person through love and patience and inherent understanding of his fucked up little head??? I can definitely see kyle wanting that (especially since I see kyle as a repressed, denial-ridden sadist/dom lmao; see this post for my thoughts on that).
it was all downhill from there. I found tons of other cool kyman shippers on tumblr and twitter whose writing and fanart helped suck me in even more and I’ve been stuck in kyman hell ever since. special shoutout to the asker for her kyman analysis posts that inspired this fic I wrote! love u boo <3
ANYWAY that’s how I became a whore for kyman lolololol ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_ have a nice day everybody
#if you read this whole thing i love u#i hope to god no one i know irl finds this blog 🙃🙃🙃#this also doubles as a personal fandom history for myself lol#kyman#ask#my post
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they should get to kill each other at least twice .i think
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#lg doodles#i drew this a few days ago but im so tired after work ngl . sittingnin bed like =__= ..#and im visiting family this weekend so idek if ill get to it until next weekend#but ya i love them i loge them so much#i love the tension in atots right after stanford comes back#and hes like writing sll this shit ab stan in the journal#while learning that he stole his identity and so on and stans like hey so i did this rly selfless thing for u can you at least#acknowledge it and they r just stewing in their own anger 😭#actually i love their dynamic so much . the arguing as they mimic each other 1:1 and rhe animosity and#ykw im gna make another post but the grammar stanley scene is my favorite#magbe its not post worthy nvm idc but thats probably one of my fav interactions in the whole series#its so stupid that u know its real HELPPlike yeah that rly isnjust how it is . in fact ive done more over less 🫶#HAHAHAHAH#ugh.love . lovee i wish#i dont think gf needs a continuation im totally in the 2 season boat here#but if they ever did a post series stan and ford exploration ohhh believe . trust tht i would not shut up ab it ever#i want to see them talk so bad . im so greedy bc i feel like they didnt talk enough in the series bc im partial 2 them i just want them in#everything .#i think their personalities are so fun esp bc ford isnt the annoying nerd archetype i like that hes a cocky bitch#and i like that stan is an equally cocky bitch and they both have too much pride that they butt heads over literally everythjng#but they also recognize how ridiculous it all is like 😭. even when theyre fighting over the journal they both r like ok pause r u ok#hmm.. so many ppl here capture their dynamic well too.😭at least the people who dont generalize either into a single personality trait yk#imso tired im tired#but guys i love talking ab ford and stan theybr so everything to me in ways i dnt think incould ever articulate like u see them and u just g#get it . ugh. turning my head and passing out . ford is so funny hes so stupid i love him i cant bekieve i was a ford hater im sorry ive#atoned im changed im a changed oerson i didnt realize the magnitude of his serve .but stanley as my day 1 will never change . just know .(k#idk if anyonf ever reads this fsr down but if u r here say cheesee📸📸
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pairing: hoshina soushirou x gn!reader (no prns)
request: a reader that keeps messing around w him and at some point they mention they like him but then hoshina thinks theyre just playing... ..but they r not and he doesnt quite get it at first because hes so used to them joking around and then he ends up overthinking the whole thing until reader actually goes up to him to kiss him (or hug him very tight!!!!!!!! or both maybe!!!!!!)
maybe he liked them too but that thought didnt sit right with him because he doesnt believe hes worthy of something like that
notes: mentions the reader's face "flushing", reader is rather lively/outgoing, reader is not a fan of horror and is more a fan of romance, reader is a hoshina stan, one part is inspired by a scene in wakaba no komorebi, omg why are there so many notes I'm so sorry TY FOR THE REQ!!
wc: 2800
A new day, a new chance for you to shoot your shot at none other than your vice-captain of the third division.
You were always messing with him. This ranged from embarrassing pranks a grade school boy would menace his crush with, all the way to borderline hitting on him. There wasn’t a single day you’d forget to remind him he was stunning, and you’d always be bragging about him to the officers in the first division, regardless of the fact that you had absolutely nothing to do with the things you were bragging about. Simply put, you were loud about Hoshina.
Yet, every day, he'd brush you off and tell you to get to work. You didn't let that mind you much though, because you could tell he wasn't actually upset. You liked him unconditionally, and as long as you weren't actually bothering him, you couldn't care less if your feelings weren't returned. Well, you did care, but that wasn't going to stop how you felt for him.
Now, you said all of that, but naturally, you were still scared to just put your feelings out there so you hadn’t actually told Hoshina you liked him. You assumed he knew, but if you said it out loud, you’d have to hear an answer. And that, you were not ready for.
However, you weren’t going to stop messing with him anytime soon. Hoping one day he’d actually fall for you and one day you’d have the courage to properly tell him how you felt.
You were in the cafeteria with the rest of the division, having your breakfast while mindlessly scrolling through your phone, when you saw a post about a new movie in theatres. Immediately your mind went to possibly inviting Hoshina and you scrolled right back up, trying to find out what it was about. Horror. You sighed and continued to scroll. Horror was absolutely not your favourite.
“Oh, is it finally out?” you heard a voice from behind you say— your favourite voice say.
“Would you like to go?” you asked, whipping your head back to see none other than Hoshina Soushirou. Just the sight of him and your heart would flutter. How you loved him. “Together? Us? Just us? You and me?”
“Oh, like we have time to go,” he said.
“Man,” you said, knowing he’d say that. The entire defence force in general had been a lot busier ever since the appearance of so many identified grade kaijus. However, it did make you wonder if that meant he would if he did have time. No, he’s just declining your invitation politely, you’d tell yourself, bringing you back to your senses.
You’ve done this since always, and you do this every time without fail. Whenever a new shop had opened, or a new movie to watch had come to theatres, you'd always shoot your shot— hoping he'd say yes one day. Yes to a date.
Although you were used to getting turned down, it still wasn’t the best feeling. Recently, you've been letting it get to you far more than you used to. Maybe after all these times, the rejection did start to have an affect on you. Maybe you were falling for him even harder recently, or maybe you were starting to hope for your feelings to be returned.
Perhaps a relaxing day at the movies was exactly what you needed. Maybe you’d ask for a day off next week— just to go watch a movie you liked.
So you did exactly that, you filed a form to Captain Ashiro, requesting a day off anytime the next week. Preferably on a Tuesday, because movie tickets were cheaper on Tuesdays.
A few days later, you were called over to her office. You assumed it was just to let you know if you could have your day off and if so, when it was. To your surprise, when you walked in, it wasn't Ashiro but rather Hoshina there, working away.
“Hoshina?” you asked, pleasantly surprised. “I didn't expect to see you today.”
“You didn't?” he asked, genuinely perplexed. “But this is my office?”
“Your office? I thought it was Captain Ashiro’s?” you said.
“It used to be, but I took it over a little while back,” he said. “It's just a lot faster for me to do the paperwork.”
“Oh… I see,” you said, rather surprised you weren't already aware. There was a moment of silence.
“It was rather recently that I had officially started working here,” he said, somehow noticing that you were dejected. Oh, how did he always know exactly what to say? You were never going to get over him at this rate. “Anyways, you requested a day off next week?”
“Um… yes,” you said. Now you felt a little awkward about going to a movie alone, and you really hoped he wouldn't realize where you were going.
“On a Tuesday… are you going to see that movie after all?” he asked and he noticed you stiffened a little, so he immediately followed with, “Sorry, you don't have to answer that. You're absolutely free to take that day off.”
“I am,” you said. Half a lie, because there was no way you were watching a horror movie, let alone by yourself. But you were going to the movies. That was true. “It's been a while since I watched a movie in theatres, I realized.”
“I've never gone alone actually,” he said, imagining you were planning to go alone. “Or are you going with someone?”
“No, I'll be by myself,” you said, but instinctively you asked him out again. It was practically in your subconsciousness to do so. “Unless you'd like to tag along?”
There was a long pause before he said anything, and his unreadable expression only made the silence feel longer. You were expecting a quick rejection again, so the silence was absolutely killing you— you hadn't expected it one bit.
“Actually, I'd like to,” he said. “If that's okay with you, of course.”
You couldn't believe your ears. What did he say? You couldn't have possibly heard that right. What had he said?
On the other hand, he had no idea why he said yes. Why after turning you down all these times? Why now? He had turned down every offer of yours because he knew you were just messing around. You didn’t feel about him the way he felt about you. He knew this because you had done this since the moment you joined, and you couldn’t have liked him back then— you hadn't even know him yet.
But still, he hoped you were serious.
“You're joking,” you said.
“Were you?” he asked. This must be why he said yes. He wanted to know so badly— he was rather exhausted of playing the guessing game with you.
“Not at all,” you said. You thought he had known, but perhaps not. “I've never been. Not for a moment.”
“Then, let's go,” he said with his poker face on, but he was a little shaken. He didn't think you were at all serious, let alone that serious.
“Hoshina, is this a date?” you asked, and you could tell your cheeks were flushed. However, there wasn't much to be embarrassed about at this point, so you might as well have asked before you drove yourself insane.
“Okay…” you said, but you were spaced out. You had no idea what had prompted this all of a sudden, but this was the moment you had been waiting for, for your whole life. Yes to a date.
A date? Was it a date?
“Would you like it to be?” he asked. You had no idea what he was thinking.
“Yes,” you said. “Of course…”
“Then, let's go on a date,” he said. “On Tuesday, at 2pm. I'll pick you up from your unit and we'll go and watch a movie.”
It was yes to a date. A date with none other than the love of your life. You were going on a date with Hoshina Soushirou.
You left the office soon after, thanking him as you left, and you were lost in thought. You truly felt like the world around you had stopped, but at the same time, the time passing was a blur. You thought it’d be forever before your long awaited day, and you’d have plenty of time to calm yourself down and prepare, but it had rolled around before you knew it.
You put on what you personally thought was your best date outfit, but you had no idea if he’d like it. You really hoped he would. Now, you were sitting around, waiting for him to come pick you up. It was still 10 till 2, but he was always ahead of schedule— he hated making people wait, so he was always early. A few minutes later, you heard a few footsteps and some rustling outside your door, and you were pretty sure it was him. You waited for a knock, but it wouldn’t come.
Quickly, you opened the door and it was him, waiting by your door with his phone in his hand, opened to your messages with him.
“Oh,” he said. “Sorry, were you waiting?”
“No,” you said, immediately. “I just finished getting ready. Why didn’t you knock?”
“Well, I’m early,” he said. “Didn’t want to rush you.”
Gosh, you were on a date. With him. You had actually never seen him in anything other than what he wears at the defense force, and as much as you liked that training shirt he had on, he looked so incredibly gorgeous today. And this was just for you. He wore a black corduroy turtleneck, and a simple long coat to go over it. You were still so lost, how had you gotten to this point in the first place?
“You’re stunning today,” he said to you as he smiled a little and you swear you felt your heartrate spike. Did he even know what he was doing?
“Not to mean you aren’t usually…” he said immediately. “Sorry, I never say the right things when they count, do I?”
“No, I thought my heart was going to stop,” you said, frankly. This was the way you always were, there was no point in getting flustered all of a sudden. “You’re gorgeous everyday, but even more so today.”
“Well, I’d have to be glad our date is today then,” he said.
While the two of you walked to the theatre, it was rather quiet. Far more quiet than you usually were. Suddenly, you were so nervous, and there was nothing to say to him. So many questions filled your head but none of them felt appropriate to ask. You felt like the spell would break if you took one wrong breath. You wanted to know why he was here with you today. Why he said yes all of a sudden, why he took a precious day off to go on a date with you, and what he was thinking when he said yes. You wanted to know how he felt about you, or at least how he felt about this date.
“I’ll go get us tickets,” you said, as soon as you got to the theatre. “Please pick a snack and a drink in the meantime, I’ll get the tickets quick.”
“Oh, don’t be silly, I’m getting the tickets, and the drinks and snacks, for that matter,” he said. “Besides, we haven’t even decided on a movie yet.”
“We haven’t?” you asked. “I thought we were watching the movie that came out the other day?”
“What? Why would we?” he asked, genuinely confused. “You don’t even like horror." He pointed at another poster on the wall. "Why don’t we watch that one? Romance is more your type of thing, isn’t it?”
You thought you’d cry. If there was one thing that was worrying you about this date, it was the movie. Horror really wasn’t for you, and you weren’t sure if you could watch the movie without showing it.
“How did you know?” you asked.
“It’s obvious,” he said. “You’ve never asked me out to a horror movie, have you?”
Just how did he notice? “But didn’t you want to watch that one?” you asked.
“Please, I can watch that whenever, on my own,” he said. “I’m here with you today. I’d be a horrible date to make you watch it with me.”
“Thank you,” you said, starstruck. “At least, let me pay for it then?”
“No way,” he said. “I’m taking you out today.”
“No, I asked you out,” you said.
“Don’t care!” he said and went off to get the tickets and snacks.
You were in love with him, and you were going to tell him. You were sure he knew, but you had to tell him properly. It wasn’t even that you were hoping for him to return your feelings, you just wanted to tell him.
You thought you wouldn’t be able to focus on the movie at all, but you were, strangely enough. You were watching a cliche romance movie that couldn’t possibly be about you and Hoshina, no matter how much you tried to stretch the narrative, but you loved it. It was a sweet movie, a type that you've always loved, and you were watching it with the one you always loved. You couldn’t be happier.
So as soon as the movie was over, you went for it.
“Hoshina, I love you so much,” you said, and kissed him. On the lips.
His eyes were wide and his cheeks were faintly flushed. You weren’t expecting that, not even for a moment.
“You’re serious?” he asked.
You were confused, did he think you were playing around all this time? “Yes, of course,” you said. “I’ve loved you for forever.”
“Since… when?” he asked.
“Since the day you saved me, 3 years ago,” you said, immediately. It was like you had waited all your life to answer this. “You definitely don’t remember, but I remember like yesterday.”
He wouldn’t reply, but he was still looking at you surprised, so you continued on.
“I thought I had told you this actually. Not the part that I liked you, but the part that you saved me. I joined because of you, Hoshina,” you said. “Yes, you’re my vice-captain and the love of my life, and I’m one of your officers, but you were my hero and I was your biggest fan for all this time.”
Something in him shifted. It felt like someone had woken him up from a weird haze, and showed him how much colour there is to the world. You joined for him. Not for Mina, not for Gen, but him. To you, he was a hero. To the one he treasured most, he was irreplaceable.
“I love you too,” he said, with the softest smile you had ever seen from him. He was serious, you could tell.
“No way,” you said.
“I do,” he said, but he could tell that you were a little skeptical, or at least puzzled. “I love the way you work hard, the way you joke around, but actually care so much. I love the way you give everything your all. I love the way you always smile when you see me— it makes me feel so special. You make my day, absolutely every single day.”
It took everything in you to stop yourself from sobbing, but that made Hoshina laugh. He kissed you this time, and tears rolled down your cheeks anyway.
Wiping your cheeks with the pad of his thumb, he kissed you on the forehead.
“I absolutely adore you.”
BONUS:
Later that day, you were going to open up the one cardboard box you still hadn’t unpacked. The one filled with your posters and merch of Hoshina you had collected through these years. You were hiding them, because you thought it’d be a little too weird if you had those just hanging around, but finally, they’d see the sunlight. You would never have even imagined this day when you had those in your room, dreaming of him. If only you could tell your past self— just how thrilled you would’ve been. Well, not that you were any less thrilled now.
The next time Hoshina came to visit you in your room, he was utterly flustered, it was absolutely adorable. He couldn’t believe people actually bought the merch they sold of him, let alone put them up— and in the room of his loved one nonetheless. But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it, because it made him so incredibly happy.
He was thrilled that you did, in fact, love him the way he loved you.
#hoshina x reader#hoshina soshiro x reader#kaiju no8 x reader#kaiju no.8 x reader#kn8 x reader#soshiro hoshina x reader#hoshina x you#bros im sorry why is this SO LONG#THANK U SM FOR READING#i really hope you enjoyed but genuinely was this even all that interesting. i cannot even tell. (I FEAR IT WASNT TRULY)#is hoshina just the right amount of sweet or is he ooc sweet. that is the question. (I FEAR THE ANSWER I REALLY DO)#sorry guys in my head this sounded a lot better like a whole lot better#THANK U SM FOR THE REQUEST THIS WAS SO SO SWEET I HAD SM FUN WRITING THIS ACTUALLY#sweet hoshina will always be so fun to write i will never be free from this#request#omg also im so sorry if you find the 'hero' thing corny#i love the word hero unironically#i think its such a lovely word that's viewed as too corny to say now (SO SAD)#also so insanely unrelated but wakaba no komorebi is a shoujo manga w like multiple couples#and one of the mls in one of the shoujos is LITERALLY SHOUJO HOSHINA I KID YOU NOT#hes literally SOOOOOOOO my god hes just SOOOOOOO such a ml. so hoshina.
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omg PLSPLSPLS GIVE US GIRLDAD!DAZAI!!! Im literally so obsessed w ur work and luv luv luv reading it <3
just wanna say thank u so much anon for sending in the CUTEST request ever i have never thought abt it this way and when i finally did it was over for me. it wrote itself. THANK U FOR LIKING MY WORK THATS SO SWEET AHHH :') i keep getting ill so srry it's a lil late but i am so thankful for you trusting me w ur concept. mwahhhh.
~ a little something about girldad!Dazai simply trying his best, and loving it ~
Dazai never thought the day would come when his life finally felt complete. First, you happened to him and that was something he couldn't even fathom in a million lifetimes. It wasn't meant for him, and letting love into his heart felt like going against the nature of things. He struggled with it for a long time, pushing you away and making sure you realized this wasn't something worth pursuing... but you never relented, and he stopped fighting the longing for something more. You made him feel it was okay to want, to yearn, to need. And so came along every single repressed desire he had ever had. The love between you bloomed, and he thought this was the height of it all; The bandages he wore over his body were no longer grim reminders of his lack of humanity and the masks he wore on the daily. Those frayed wraps of fabric were symbols of love returning, of patience, of a lived in soul, and he no longer had to maintain them alone. He had you.
And then one day, he suddenly had a little girl in his life.
Another life to nurture and to start anew with, and his fear was that he yet again could not redeem himself from his past, but he was determined for her, for you and for himself to not let that be the case. When you gave him the most precious thing he didn't think he ever wanted nor could ever have, that was the day he vowed to be the epitome of a true figure worth looking up to. Osamu Dazai, the family man! Dad of the year!
... Except today, when he woke up late to take the apple of his eye to preschool. You were out of town, and though you eventually claimed to have faith in his solo parenting skills, it was a complete leap of faith. He comforted you for hours, how hard could it be? He can be both parents at once! How cruel of you to even doubt him. He remembers the look on your face when he slammed the door on you while holding your precious angel in his arms, both of them giggling while they waved you off as if they rehearsed it.
Aaaand now he realized why you were so worried. He looks at the time and he springs out of bed, running off to her bedroom. She even sleeps like a little lamb, he thinks to himself. He rushes at her side and softly turns her over.
"Little love, wake uuupppp..."
She pouts, shaking her head as she shifts in her sleep. He sighs and tries again a little more desperately.
"If you wake up, that will be really good for daddy, otherwise mommy will kill me! Up we go!"
He picks her up, and she rubs her eyes as Dazai does the most rushed morning routine ever.
He gets her dressed, though the socks don't match, and when he does her pigtails, they're lopsided. How do you do it?! And now he has to FEED her?! He stuffs a few handfuls of cereal into his mouth while giving her a proper bowl, but they're so late he thinks they should just start walking now.
"Take the bowl with you, we can do this thing called eat and walk! Yes?"
"'Kay, daddy!"
She simply giggles, not understanding how dire it is for her to make it today. She holds onto her cereal bowl as he grabs her backpack, both of them walking out into the street. Dazai's fast walking and her bowl sloshes a bit as she tries to match his pace and eat at the same time.
She's waddling adorably, and he gets lost in watching her carefully while also literally getting lost finding the school. He stops at the crosswalk, and thinks to himself. She looks up at him with a milk mustache, and her soft melodic voice rings once more like a voice of reason. She points to the right.
"That way! hehe."
Dazai has no time to fact check this, and at this point she's parenting him. You'd pass out of laughter if you could see him right now. They rush towards the school, and when he drops her off at the gate, he gives her a big kiss on her forehead.
"I love you, okay? Now give daddy the cereal bowl. How yum was that?"
She cheers, smiling wide.
"Yum!!!!"
He smirks, and takes the bowl. At least he got that right, that smile alone is worth every late start to his mornings. He waves at her as she enters the school, and forgets he's holding the bowl still, her teacher looking at him like he's deranged. You were so proud to hear that his first time parenting alone went so smooth! What you didn't know was that your little girl did most of the work keeping him on track. Still counts, right?
Another time he was exemplary was when he had just given her a bath and you were supervising to make sure he got her routine down.
"Osamu, that's the conditioner. The shampoo is over there."
You laugh while pointing at the clearly marked bottle. He rolls his eyes, smirking as he continues to rub it in her little swirl of dark hair.
"Oh please, I knew that. This makes it soft! And all detangled... It's a better routine, trust me. This is so much better."
He was totally bullshitting, he had no idea there was more than one hair product ever. This is the same man who used to find showers foreign and eat canned crab for every meal. You simply nodded, seeing right through his facade. But it was all so endearing watching your daughter splash the water on his face and play with rubber duckies, it was a dream come true. It was a dream you knew was more precious to him than anything, so you let him have his fun.
Once bath time is over, he places her on the bed in her diaper and walks out to grab her a change of clothes. Uh oh, he forgot today was laundry day! He walks back into the room a few moments later, thinking of how to pivot without having to bother you when he sees his little angel wrapped head to toe in a full roll of his bandages. His eyes go wide at the sight of the wrapped up toddler, and he laughs nervously as he rushes over while she has the time of her life squealing and rolling around the bed. He pretends to be mad.
"Little love! That's not clothes, silly! That's for daddy only, you have your own."
She simply disregards this, her mind focusing on how hilarious it would be if she just started making bubbles with her saliva instead. Dazai chuckles again, and puts his hands on his hips.
"Oh, such attitude! You know, l'm gonna have to do it... Remember when I told you about daddy's old job? I'm gonna have to get mean againnn..~"
He immediately launches himself onto the bed, tickling her through the thick fabric, and when you rush over you find them both just collapsed on the bed, Dazai counting her fingers and toes in order to distract her enough to unwrap her. Luckily, you had a spare onesie for her to save the day... even if it took the both of you to get her out of her improvised outfit. What a strong willed little one! You hoped this wasn't a special abillity developing...
It's no surprise she's a daddy's girl either, a mini Dazai at her core with your balancing characteristics on the surface. She was a little menace, sticking her tongue out at dogs every time she saw them because Dazai would do the same. He would even go as far as to help her dress like her hero! Of course you both had a stroke when you saw how tightly she wore that bolo tie, but the laugh after was worth the worry... After you scolded both of them... but it proved useless against two of the most experienced charmers you've ever met. You just couldn't win.
You especially could never get used to the sight after a long day of existing in the real world, simply watching her climb up to the couch and playing with Dazai's hair as she nuzzles herself into his shoulder, right in the crook of his neck. It was just as intense for his poor little heart as well. The way she'd yank on a strand while he pretended to be asleep was priceless, or when she'd stick her finger in his nose, causing him to have a sneezing fit soon after. It was almost karmic the way she both adored him and put him in his place, just like you.
"Daddy has brown hair because he drinks chocolate milk."
"Daddy stinks today. Throw him away!"
"Daddy looks like a mummy. Do you like mummies?"
"Who's Kunikida? He yelled at daddy today, it was funny!"
She'd babble on about all kinds of curious nonsense. You'd simply nod and agree. She was never wrong!
But what really got to you was watching her pass out on his head after hours of playtime, and the way Dazai would finally open his eyes with that smug smile of his, scooping her up and carefully taking her to bed. He tucks her in, whispering about all the adventures they'll have tomorrow and the days after. About all the rules they'll break together, and mysteries they'll solve when he takes her to work with him. He doesn't tell bedtime stories per se, but he spends all his time having actual conversations with her until she dozes off because he cannot believe this is a little extension of him and he's just as fascinated with knowing her the way she is with him. With life.
She's full of it, something he wasn't for a long time, and it brings him to tears when he sometimes thinks about it too long in private.
You're both his life and he didn't realize he could still feel regret like he does when he thinks of all the times he spent trying to end his own existence. It's a whole different world, and sure, he also loves to use her as an excuse to continue to slack off at work, and maaaybe he likes to sometimes force Atsushi to turn so she can pet him like the giant cat he is out of both their own entertainment, but dying is no longer the priority. It hasn't been for a long time, and he thinks he's doing an okay job... At being a dad, at being a human, at belonging in this world.
When he finally gets in bed with you, he feels whole. He also feels impish when he turns over and whispers.
"Maybe it's time for another, hm?~"
Oops!
#i had soooooooo much fun writing this#i was like. GIRLDAD DAZAI SAY LESS. he's obsessed!!!!!#he's also a trainwreck and u love him for it anyway#let's b real shes a mini him and he is soooo smug abt it#idc if this is cheesy this is GIRLDAD DAZAI LET HIM BE HAPPY AND TRYINF HIS BEST#she also reminds him of the orphans odasaku used to care for and he just. he just has to be the best#i also rlly wanted to name her somethinf like suki ummm i think it's so sweet n cute :')#it's a whole thing and basically he loves being a dad it's new territory and it's also his purpose#he takes it so srs and also sooooo unsrs#u can either read this as reader had her or they adopted!#bungou stray dogs#osamu dazai#dazai x reader#bsd dazai#anon#dazai x you#osamu dazai x reader#bsd x reader#dazai imagines#girldad!dazai#bungo stray dogs#dazai osamu#girl dad#fanfic#requests#osamu dazai fluff#dazai fluff#drabble#ada dazai
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my first attempt at digital art (never again🥲) for mctober💘
Eloise Babbit✨
slytherin
5th year
favorite subjects: arithmancy & ancient runes
least favorite subject: beasts (animals make her nervous🥲)
hobbies: reading & thinking (IT’S A HOBBY OKAY??)
#if u read my fic maybe u know why animals make her nervous🥲#also…if you are the angel who left me an essay comment on my last chapter today just know I love you🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹#when I started posting my fic in January I NEVER EXPECTED PEOPLE TO READ IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!😳 but it makes me so happy#that so many people do🥹🫶 I know it’s a crazy story and doesn’t follow the game at all#so to hear these things and to catch all of the little foreshadowing things I’ve been hinting at this whole time?????????#😳💘#anyways I’m still a digital art disliker (I like seeing it but not making it)#but I wanted to try it out and this is my art documentation blog🫶#im going to be WAY less active these days as well#SO IF I MISS THINGS (WHICH I WILL) PLEASE KNOW I AM SAD I MISSED THEM😔😔😔😔#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise babbit#mctober2024#also with mctober I will post drawinfs but nothing elaborate like the amazing ones I’ve already seen#hope you like these anyways🙏💓
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yk when i think about it, especially when im watching the anime with people who havent read the manga, the reason a lot of people who only watch the anime and didnt read the manga misinterpreted saikis character so badly is definitely in part because of how damn fast paced the anime is 😭
like that little smile and eye shine frame is there for not even half a second in the anime, so its easier to miss it and assume that he really did only finish those workbooks to get coffee jelly ☠️ its much more clear if you get a good look at how he reacts here that hes just a silly little tsundere and a fucking liar
#this might be really obvious but im silly#LET ME YAP !!#dont read this as me making fun of anime only fans#i was literally one until like a few months ago#i just think its unfortunate how different the vibe is#obviously i love the anime though#there are still some things i straight up don't understand how people miss though#like people who watch the whole anime and still think saiki hates teruhashi or nendo specifically#like ? he has some of his most affectionate scenes with them#but i think maybe its because they missed so many of the more subtle details#that by the time they see saikis offu or him saying he and teruhashi make a great team.. it appears more sudden to them than it really is#so they either completely ignore those scenes or dismiss them as fanservice#ugh#its. literally not fan service at all and makes perfect sense if you pay attention#idk how u can watch the sweetest line ever 'we're invincible together' and deny that saiki cares about teruhashi#in general its actually just impossible to end the show thinking he hates any of his friends unless u just ignored things on purpose#even if u ended at the first season like a lot of people#but im just saying i guess i get why its a little less obvious in the show#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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Guess Narumi isn't getting any paperwork done ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#Ichikawa reno#narumi gen#narureno#kaiju no.8#kn8#my art#FINGERS IN MOUTH FINGERS IN MOUTH FINGERS IN MOUTH!!!#oh this is a spicy one ksdjfhs#idk man i think they need to send reno to 1st division so narumi can call him to his office for shenanigans#I am such a sucker for how reno is always so polite and respectful#Like i know narumi could start shit in a semi public place and reno would still address him as captain during the whole thing skdjhfsdf#narumi new kink awakenend SKJDHGFKWSHDF#also thank you all you lovely people writing nice tags on my narureno art ueueue#i read them all i see them all i lov u guys ;;; I didn't expect any love on this ship ;__; weeping and sending u all gift baskets
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"And soda; runs off into the street..." "...and soda... is totally okay!"
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#cw blood#something something cracking open a boy w the cold ones#IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES I MISSED I SWWWEAR TO JEBEDIAH. IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA DIE IT NEEDS TO BE DONE#ALSO RRRAAAHAHHHGHGH CAN I JUST TAKEA SECOND TO SCREEAAMM ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE SODA AND EMIZEL.. LIKE THERYE SO CUTE....#THEY ARE HOMIES THAT KISS EACHOTHR GOODNIGHT. THEY CARE SO MUCH FOR EACHOTHER. SODA LOVES SODA AND SODA LOVES YOU#do u guys remember how willing he was to share blood w his vampire bestie. like cmon. remember when emizel memorized sodas Soda Schedule.#LIKE CMON.... they just have eachothers backs so much. ouhhh my god... ANYWAY SO THE ART HUH. I FEEL LIKE I SCRAMBLED W IT FOR A WHILE#DRAWIN IS HARD..... i think i did well in the end tho.. i like the lil heart beat effects. and i hope i made soda look Suffieciently Scared#i ALSO had fun w the teeth. i however did not have fun w the walls. if i had more drugs i mightve done every brick in more detail#but i didnt WANNA!!!! this will suffice.I HOPE IT FLOWS WELL&THAT ITS CLEAR... IVE STARED AT IT SO LONG IT IS NOW VISUAL SOUP. HELP!!!#i want my comics to have more Pauses and Space and Thought and Momence. i feel like normally they go so fast. but THIS time#i think i did good.... huuoouhhhh.... comics are HARD art is HARD but i am HARDER. or something. OH YEAH I HAVE MORE ART THINGS#soda was RLY HARD FOR ME TO DRAW FOR A MINUTE..but i like where his design is now. i wanted his hair to be curly swirly.like soda fizz#i THINK thats all my thoughts for now. if u have thoughts u should spill them in the tags i looooove reading tttaaggsss#have a goodnight i gotta go to work soon. maybe. unless the casinos power goes out AGAIN. OR SEOMTHING... UUGHHH MY SCHEDULE IS IN SHAMBLES#I THOUGHT I WAS WORKIN 3 DAYS INA ROW SO I RENTED A WHOLE DAMN HOTEL BC THE JOB PLACE IS FAR AWAY.. I HAD TO CANCEL THE WHOLE RESERVATOn#annd im MMMMAD ABOUT IT!!! like ill get over it ofc BUT IM PEEVED!!!! IM INCONVIENIENCED AND GENTLY AGGRIVATED. BUT OVERALL FINE.#hope yalls weekend goes well. sleep well. if u get the chance to.
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Can you expand on what you mean by Baron being "too cool" to really fit a horror monster? It's a very interesting concept and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Is it that they're too active/involved/tangible and it detracts from their scariness?
I feel like I should preface this with a wall of disclaimers lmao 1/I am a hardcore, down-to-the-marrow, avid, deeply sincere horror enthusiast, esp. horror creatures. this usually means my mileage is vastly different from the average populace's, and my scaredy bone has been disintegrated by longterm exposure. most things in a piece of horror media won't scare me! so I practically never use that on its own as the scale to talk abt horror experiences, but when something does scare me it's always a special occasion to be treasured. 2/canon d20 is never really meant to be horror horror, and for good reasons: it doesn't fit the company's output, it takes a kind of carelessness in production estimation that is always a huge risk, it's often vulnerable in a way that kinda goes against how TTRPGs usually facilitates vulnerability, and for most people it's just! stressful! d20, even with the "horror-themed" seasons, generally just plays with horror tropes and stays focused in its goal of being a comedy improv tabletop theater show. 3/fantasy high's chosen system is DnD, which as I've mentioned before is before all a combat-based game system, which means the magic circle of play is drawn based on stats that facilitate and prioritize combat. want or not this affects every interaction you have in the game, and given fantasy high's concept from the ground up (everyone's going to school of DnD stuff to get better at DnD) it's doubly relevant. 4/This Is Fine I have no quarrel with this. my meters are internal, I do not ask this show to be anything it doesn't advertise itself to be, and what it is is fucking great! I like it! when I expand on this ask's question it will be like a physicist going insane in a lab. that's the mindset we're going in with.
disclaimers done. my stance on horror as a genre is that it's a utility genre rather than a content genre or a demographic genre; it is the discard of narratives. it's the trash pile. horror, above being scary, is about being ugly and messy, it's the cracks on the ground any story inevitably steps over to stay a genre that isn't horror. the genre's been around long enough to develop a codex and a general language that medias and makers and enthusiasts of the genre can use to talk about and build onto, but if you go into individual pieces there's really no unifying Horror Story. one person's beautiful life can be another's horror story, it's just how it is.
this makes The Monster a deeply intriguing piece of the genre. thing is a monster is in a decent percentage of any story - it's just when the antagonist force steps into something past a certain line traced out in the story's world. monstrousness is in pretty much every western fantasy story, it's in any story with a hero and something to vanquish or win; more than anything it's a proxy of that thing up there. the line in a narrative's world. the monster is the guard of the unknown lands, where heroic, civilized people don't tread.
what does this mean in the context of horror? the genre is about that perceived lawlessness, that "unknown land" so to say. we're in the monster's home. that's the literary context that we often walk into a horror piece with; the monster knows more than you about where you are. it may not understand you, but it holds more information than you, and with that it moves swifter than you, has more covered than you, and is more assured in its existence in this context than you. it's a struggle to catch up to it, it's nigh impossible to get one over it, and you're never sure it'll 100% work, because you just don't have the information necessary to.
with that framing you can kinda see where I'm coming from here: horror's often about the breaking of rules. I always think a monster's most effective when it breaks well-established rules of both existence and visual storytelling. think Possum (2018) or Undertale's Omega Flowey or the Xenomorph Queen - unique change in medium, unique change in graphic, unique change in design language, etc. in that sense I actually really like how canon baron plays out: they don't really function like anything else in the fantasy high universe, the bad kids have not managed to kill them when they've felled literal gods, their domain in fhjy literally introduces new mechanics to encompass their existence! from an experience design standpoint they slap mad shit. BUT! I can't help finding their character, like as a character riz (and the other bad kids, eventually) interact with, to be very... coherent? in design. this is kinda hard for me to articulate in words, it's more often a sense you get once you've looked at enough of these scrumptious fuckers, their general design and the way they show up is just kinda too clean, so to say. always kinda newly made? fresh unboxed. it, once again, makes sense for their lore - they are looking for more about themself from riz - and their function - they're an antagonist in a game experience, they're meant to be interacted with in a way that produces results and meshes with the existing magic circle - but that shininess takes away from the implied history they should have dominion over and the person they're haunting doesn't.
from another angle there is kinda something there about how put-together canon baron is as a concept; the domain they call home is riz's deep-seeded fears, extremely vulnerable things he's drawn borders around to quarantine and refused to walk into. things that from his perspective would irreversibly shatter certain pleasant fictions his world is built on top of. canon baron, While Extremely Cool, I feel is kinda too neat to connect with and signify the apocalyticized mess that'd result from this paradigm shift. the part where they're in riz's briefcase and looking through every mirror is Very Cool And Fucked Up! but ultimately the show draws a line around them as well, by making game-physical, tangible spaces they're in (the mirrors and the haunted mordred manor) and put riz and the bad kids there only when they need to confront stuff. riz is meaningfully narratively away from baron's unknown land for most of fantasy high.
with that and all of my disclaimers in mind my conclusion here is if canon baron wants to be a Horror Monster they'd have to cross way more lines. be a Lot more invasive. hence (holds up my class swap baron like a long cat)
#ask#not art#tldr a lot of fantasy high's and d20's nature plays against having a Horror horror piece in it. there's no space for emptiness or dread#that's one of the most attractive things to me about horror. the monster signifying a new world you don't understand#you see something on the deserted streets and you realize: oh. the world doesn't work how I've been thinking it does#if u've noticed how much this has in common with queer experiences haha. yeag#man. actually I should also put the I Am Not White disclaimer in there too lmao a lot of the notion of The Monstrous is! traditionally#about maintaining and upkeeping a ''social order'' (read: the powers that be)#and a Lot of Wilderness Fiction is deeply and maliciously colonialist#so when I say ''the unknown land'' and ''the monster'' I am pretty much speaking From one of those unknown lands#and from the position of one of those monsters#the fear of the monstrous is so very often the fear of being consumed by - or becoming - the monstrous yourself#and well. when you're already there in the eye of the zeitgeist. You Can Do What You Want Forever#all that to say it Is important to me that baron is made of riz's lies. even more so in this funny class swap thing I make for fun#like as a horror protag he makes me insane. he loves lines! he loves lines he drew himself. he replicates these borders in himself#that mirror the world he lives in that's so hostile to him. that kid Loves rules. he bows to even the ones that hurt him#like. u get where I'm getting to right I did make a whole comic kinda near this subject he's Already The Other#baron is a monster's monster. baron is a mirror image. GODs I cant help but wish they were messier#it's kinda why I make class swap baron to be like. an ever nearing realization. like I warble abt all this but I genuinely do also find#canon baron to be just as visually coherent and thematically perfect as riz if not more. it's hard to beat how cool the mirror stuff is#it's hard to beat that doll face in iconic visuals! I have to strike according to my strength rather than trying to beat canon#so instead of reflection it's captured moments. instead of a blank face it's the lack of one. mmm. maybe I'm just kinda breaking things#for fun also but that's My prerogative in my house awooga <3#well. thats kinda my thoughts on the general subject. thank u for listening. I will bake something soon dyou want some
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honestly feel like you can't fully understand why the nhl functions the way it does unless you have an in-depth understanding of american conservatism specifically. like. the nhl is run by a collection of people who function on conservative nostalgia, purposeful obtuseness, and a direct opposition to progressivism. they're the type of american traditionalists who think that we should go back to the good old days when people respected their elders and didn't think too hard about things like civil rights or what equity actually means. they believe in a homogenous culture of assimilation and obedience, and they rely on the people within that culture to perpetuate it via mutual surveillance. it's what the wealthy white american right has always been, especially since wwii and the cold war after it. and it's what the nhl has always been. it's a culture that is determined to keep itself locked away in the 1980s while the world around it evolves, and as it grows farther removed from the world it exists in, the more reactionary it gets. it's fucking. every 70 year old republican senator who refuses to step down until they keel over dead in congress. that's it. that's all.
#like. okay. yes obviously love travis dermott thank u king etc etc#but this whole thing is just. it means nothing. none of this means anything#the nhl never loved you. the nhl never believed in gay rights or trans rights or poc rights or any of it#the nhl floated along on the exact platform they've had for decades and let the teams decide what political stances they'd move forward on#until an opportunity presented itself for the conservatism underlying the entire stupid organization to rear its head#just because they changed the rule doesn't mean it's gone. it just means it's hidden under a dozen different layers of pr and performatism#hurray we get pride tape back. i'm sure this will stay the case forever and never change or be an issue ever again.#ok sorry for being cynicallll i should go do my readings#bees speaks
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The whole made up “tim is seen/treated as an employee by everyone’” thing is funny vs just how much Steph and spoiler as an identity got disrespected by literally everybody. Like not even hated just the casual disrespect for her is soooo
#yknow what’s even funnier#I genuinely believe since Tim’s run is like the only thing so many ppl read they try to justify Bruce being shitty w/ the employee thing#but like that’s just how Bruce is#like they’re trying to conflate it with the fandom they knew and they come up with Bruce treats tim particularly horribly#like no guys…Bruce is NICE to Tim. like in comparison?#like I’m not disregarding the birthday thing when I say this I think bruce had like. the most respect for Tim’s autonomy out of everyone#and I’m also not disregarding post jason death behaviors I’m just saying#actually besides Duke too#I think Duke and Tim got the most respect from bruce like he was even bs-ing barbara A LOT#I’d argue dick but his relationship shifting from kooky to scary is so sad actually like not just shift in tone for batfam irl imaging how#it felt in world without the explanation that things are getting serious so we’re raising the stakes for money#that’s a whole diff convo I think about everyday tho#what I’m saying is that ppl who only read tim see Bruce’s fucked up behavior and think ‘this can’t be Bruce’ when the only other thing they#read is in the ‘good parent Bruce’ tag and Twitter#so they think he’s like atrocious to tim specifically and he’s treated badly vs everyone else#when that’s him being nice…#and tbh not just Bruce this goes for the writers as well#you only read Tim’s stuff and maybe wfa so when Tim gets stagnant writing you go ‘dc HATES tim 😡’ when like.#they LOVE tim that’s how they show their love it’s shitty.#u wanna see who they hate look at Duke cass Damian and Steph#there’s 2 common denominators and they overlap for one of em 😬
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Turned Night Into Day
summary:
There's no reason why Illya should want to talk to him. Really, there isn't. So why's he showing up at his hotel room with a bottle of Scotch and something like an apology on his lips? Or, most of Amor Magnus Doctor Est chapter 8 in Napoleon's POV!! <3
notes:
inspired by Amor Magnus Doctor Est by @cha-melodius
tags:
POV Napoleon Solo, Napoleon solo has no self confidence, insecure Napoleon solo, Reunions, the happy ending to just like me, Mild Sexual Content, inspired by another fic, Napoleon Solo Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Professors
excerpt:
“I’m sorry,” Illya whispers, the words ringing like a gunshot in the otherwise dead quiet of the room. Of all the things Napoleon was expecting, it was definitely not that. “I heard what you and Gaby were talking about,” and “Did you really get Victoria fired to try and win me back?” seemed the most obvious. He’s only able to stare at Illya as the words rattle around in his head. In the silence of the room it seems that Illya might want to take it back. He finds himself hoping he will, because while there’s nothing he wants more than Illya, he’s only good for being left behind. He hopes equally as much that he won’t, because even in the face of reality he still wants him more than he’s ever wanted anything else. “What for?” he asks, head tilted to the side, brow furrowed. Illya huffs out a sound that could be a laugh, but it’s too harsh, too bitter to be classified as such. It’s so sudden that Napoleon actually flinches from it. “Everything,” he answers, like it’s obvious. Like he’d done anything wrong. Leaving him may have been the best decision Illya’s ever made. He can’t imagine how that could be wrong. “For blaming you when it wasn’t really your fault. For shutting you out. For not—” Illya’s voice catches in his throat, and he takes another swallow of liquor. Napoleon shuts his eyes against Illya’s next words, “for not being there for you when I should have been.” A feeble sense of hope takes root in his heart, growing until it threatens to choke him.
read more on ao3
#LMAO bonus points if u find the 700ish word chunk of Napoleon Solo Angst™ that inspired this whole thing#ive been wanting to write this since i read amde for the first time but i was like naur#but then i wrote just like me and i was like oh wait hold on maybe i can#and then i went to the def leppard/journey concert and journey played open arms and this was born#yes the concert was in august im slow at writing ok#anyway regardless of how long this took#it has remained unbeta'd#alsoooo this was SO FUCKING FUN to write i actually loved the process so so so much#i had a great time it was so relieving to finally do this like every sentence was just like FINALLY IM DOING IT#i love it so much and honestly it was only gonna be around 700 words#but my brain was like no you gotta do this part and then i did and then it was like ok now this part#i was like should i do the whole thing it said ABSOLUTELY NOT#anyway if you've made it this far#READ AMOR MAGNUS DOCTOR EST OR BE DIE#napollya#tmfu#napoleon solo#illya kuryakin#tmfu fic#my fic#inspired by another fic#amor magnus doctor est#lucia writes#lucia talks
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Splatoon headcanon- Fuzzy inkfish
Okay so! In splatoon 3, return of the mammalians, I was sorely disappointed when said mammalians where just...hairy and brainwashed, literally that's it, which had let me down so bad, given the fact that slight alteration of character model and brainwashing had already happened before (sanitization) and genuinely, the occasions haven't changed much behavior wise, so this is how I have headcanoned what should have actually happened in splatoon 3!
Behavior
Given the fact that the fuzzy ink fish are now mammalian, depending on the inkfish, they might hiss, scratch, bite, and attack like a wild animal, really depending on the type of animal they are based off of, I imagine most would be bearlike because it is Mr Grizz that made this happen, but imagine, a fuzzy inkling with Spirulas growing out of their head like sheep horns, completely ramming a another inkling a good couple of feet away! Making interesting gameplay! And given Japan seems to love cat girls (can't blame them) give a octoling some cat ears and very agile and bam! Happy fans- (I will probably talk more about behaviors in a different post)
They also do not use weapons! Given the fact they are mammals, they use their animal like features instead to fully attack [this is what will be explored in a different post]
Body
I need bullet points for these because there is a lot I wanna go through
Mammals aren't just fluffy creatures, they also have these cool nest things called bones and warm blood
So fuzzy ink fish will first experience "fever" like symptoms as their ink slowly heats up, and over a long period of time (depending on how much furry goop they have been exposed to and how long they have been a fuzzy inkfish) and go into a hibernation like state, when they come back to, their body will have had the changes, first, they are not hot blooded and have furr in their tentacles
Later on, their body will slowly shift to a more animal like appearance, like hands slowly enlongating and growing large claws, more hunched like posture to more easily run in four legs, growing new teeth that are more mammalian in nature (could be herbivore, could be carnivore) some will grow more furry along their extremities as well, some will even grow more animal like ears and eyes
At this stage, most of these bodily changes are still reversible with enough medical equipment, as the ink fish are still majorly cartilage and ink, so they can be reformed (kinda how they can still change into a squid or octopus)
Yet, when their bones start to grow, these changes are mostly irreversible, bones will form after a good couple of months, this will make fuzzy inkfish tanks compared to normal ink fish, the skeletal structure has downsides however, like the inability to turn into a squid/octopus anymore, given the fact that you can't really shapeshift into something as small as a squid, where would all those bones go??
But their inability to shapeshift smaller does not mean they cannot shapeshift at all, by or consuming the fuzzy ooze or ink, their body will grow in size, and they take a much more animal like shape, like how a human where to turn into a werewolf, in this form, they do high amounts of damage by the swings of their claws
Their bones and thicker skin would also do that one think most inklings and octolings can't do, get in water, cuz let's be honest, unless the oceans are actual acid, having a body with thicker skin, bones and muscle tissue, probably makes these Fuzzy Inklings/octolings able to actually swim!
Also, when their skeletal structure is growing, they will likely also grow tails (you can't have tails otherwise, yah need the spindle bones to make it, no-?)
I'll continue all this later- it's just my ideas I've been thinking of-
#headcanon#splatoon#fuzzy octoling#fuzzy octarian#fuzzy inkling#splatoon 3#rat rambles#mr grizz#this is such a ramble it dont make sense#im sorry but im out here trying to explain my thought process but accidentally writing a whole paragraph for each thing- like-#how do yall even write clear and easy to understand headcanon lists-?? it is so hard- :'D#if you read this#please tell me what u think id love to hve a discussion!#i cant spell#messy writing#non canon
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pata hai last kuch din i was very busy with my project kyunki final dena tha and binding karni thi etc to wo karwayi then i went to the bookfair bekaar tha then parso submit karne jaa rahi to subah accident hogaya (bhai ki bike skid hogayi and we fell down) and now i have a big ass blue bruise on my upper thigh and my parents don't even know lmao and kal ek science conference thi to i had to sit in an auditorium for 6 hours listening to accomplished people speak. that's what you missed now your turn
omg i knew everything in this except for the accident cause i stalk your blog vigorously everyday are you okay!!!!!!!!!! did you get tetanus shots!!!!!!!!!! also on your upper thigh oh no that's where future jiju is supposed to write MINE na as per our beloved song guilty as sin?
#did u have fun at the conference it must've been cool huh women in stem and all that#bookfair being bad is so sucky i was so excited for you to go i thought you'd send pictures too of books we like#also u already know everything i posted everything and every thought#i ate chinese but it didn't feel that good because my sister isn't here and we didn't eat it together watching#koffee or splitsvilla and i realised that it's not just the chinese food it's the whole hanging out that i love sm :((#kal well i told you pata hai the brownie place we met it's kinda new and cool types so uske bathroom mein#there was a button and it said press at your own risk and when we did it became a dj like the lights went out and#there when flashing spinning disco lights and party songs were playing mere mein wo aaya hum toh naye andaz hai apna purana#it was sooo cool im adding it to the list of places you'll visit when u come here!!!!!!!#also the food was soooo shockingly reasonably priced everything was under 200 rs!!!!! which is big for a dessert place here#and like great quantity great taste too my stupid people from office used to say it's awesome but i didn't believe them and never tried it#because they're all losers lol but i grudgingly admit that they were right#also ummmm hmm okay pata hai i realised ki oh okay im happy with who i am#like bachpan mein i used to feel very sad and loser like because dad was too strict to let me go out raat ko and everyone in school would#go to this club we went to kal and i always felt i was missing out and i wanted to be all cool and fun too#but it was kinda so boring and normal and i was like wow okay i didn't miss out i was spending days and nights reading books being in#fandoms and i was actually very happy!!!!! so like yay idk small thing bt yk i realised that oh it was okay and everything will be okay too#i kinda want to talk to that guy now like i weirdly feel like im longing for what could've been? which is ridiculous because#we were 11 and i barely talked to him back then because shy and friends would tease and i didn't realise it was a crush#i don't want to DATE him because like tbh i already know we're very different people but like wouldn't it be fun to idk make out once#then i got the urge to download dating app but i resisted the urge and won i don't think im made for casual things#me and my bestie were laughing about this yesterday too she was like i just don't understand how people can have sex one day and then#not give a fuck about each other the next day like idk if we have sex im having your kids and i was like ikrrrr like bhai sex is toh very#big im going to be attached if we hug i literally did!!!!! so we decided no more casual/situationships for us#phew okay more rambling on whatsapp love u bye this became too long#saumyuuuuuu
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one piece is crazy fr like what do you mean you’re following up Everyone’s Dead™️ with Objectifying Women: The Arc™️
#bruh :/#im bout to vent cause im mad about it rn sorry#op fans there are many good elements to your series outside of this and i love u sorry im about to talk shit about it#pls abandon ship now and stop reading my tags to avoid if you want#anyway#once i put a certain amount of time into something i usually commit to finishing it#but this arc is like 👌 this close to making me abandon the whole series like wtf is this#i know i KNOW sexist shit is like practically unavoidable in anime but this is a LOT jesus christ#i want to punch a WALL#like wtf do you think women ARE#i want to attack and kill#everyone who has ever told me that naruto is worse than one piece about women owes me 500 dollars rn#like it’s BAD and i would have been mad about this either way#but i think im extra salty because ive had SO many people praise one piece women at me#and i was like doubtful cause ya know LOOK at them#but i LISTENED because everyone was so insistent the women are good and it’s not bad with that kinda thing#which was a BETRAYAL because seriously wtf is this😤#ughhhhh i CANT watch this HOW am i supposed to watch this#why do i have to watch the creepy island of women cluelessly mess with unconscious mans dick trope i canttttttttt#the answer is i DONT have to watch it and i want to STOP#how are yall watching this i still havent even forgiven thriller barks invisible man nami bath scene#like yall i canttttttttt#my ‘fiction that treats women like shit’ tolerance is too low for this#ughhh really at a loss here because so much time already committed and i was enjoying it aside from this#but i really CANNOT keep watching if the bar gets any lower and idk if it even CAN get lower#sorry sorry okay vent over this just#REALLY pissed me off#cause it kinda blindsided me i think
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re reading my beastars volume once more. hi guys can you pls pls read beastars. even if its just the first few chapters. please...
#fugo.txt#beastars#please pleasei promise you its good#you guys love the whole cannibalism thing right. and you love furry shit too.pleajs#im going insane#ive been passively obsessed with this shit for so long. im like oh yeah i guess i like it#and then i read it again and there's tears streaming down my face and im screaming and sobbing#and i find more things to be insane about everytime i read it again#i think im not okay about this stupid furry manga frankly. like i think if u did an xray of me before an after reading beastars id have li#a holein my kidney or more fucked up lungs and trachea. help me
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