#I’m around this talk constantly and Its so triggering

[iwatcheditbegin]

Being in Ed recovery is honestly so frustrating when I’m constantly bombarded by my illness being normalized

The very same behaviors I did and was called crazy for are praised when others do it. The same exact behaviors

[the-moon-files]

I’m not sure if I’ve said this one already or not, but I wanted to tell you anyways! It’s about the humans-are-not-hylians AU!

You know the uncanny valley evolution? That thing where when you look at something that resembles a living being too closely and some part of your mind is screaming that it’s not whatever it looks like and to get away from it? Imagine that with the reader! They can spot shapeshifters easily because of this, but it instills the same extreme primal fear we’d experience, so it might be hard for the reader to confront them at first and they’ll instead just tell the Chain for a while.

This might be a double edged sword, though, because when Twilight is in his wolf form, the reader still gets that same feeling when “Wolfie” is looking at them, whether or not they know it’s Twilight. In this case, the first time the reader spots Wolfie approaching the camp, they probably freak out and try to avoid him, even if the Links are okay with him or if he seems familiar to them.

The bottom line is that wolf isn’t a wolf, so what is he?

“It’s okay, he’s a really friendly wolf!”

“...That’s not a wolf...”

Sorry i took forever to respond!! im slow as always, life is too busy for even my hobbies lately sobs 😭

bro this is especially true bc someone looked back at TP games and how he looks in his “wolf” form, and apparently he is actually a dog lol - like at most a wolf-hybrid, i added this in to support this Hyrule-is-hella-Uncanny AU lol

Moon: Guide! - Gender Neutral/Masc!Reader (”you”/he/him)

Orbit: Short headcanons

Stars: mentions of most of our Links <3

Comets & Meteors: CWs: typical LU/Loz violence, mild swearing, etc & TWs: mild possible derealization trigger, talk of Link’s Awakening and Koholint.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

The Yiga clan members have never fooled you, not Once in person, unlike back when hyrule was still a video game

it was the constant smell of bananas, the way their eyes were always a little unfocused or they moved their head to move around their eyes, rather than their actual pupils moving, the facial muscles all stiff, usually stuck in an uncomfortable smile-

it makes more sense once u realize that they technically have a mask under that glamour hylian face, but its never not hilarious to see Wild look over his shoulder at you before approaching a lone traveler on the roads and watch him get increasingly frantic to get ur attention to see if theyre yiga lmao

u bet ur ass every link was relying on you on their adventures to know shapeshifters/illusions/glamours/etc. on sight and tell them to better prep them/warn them

tbh they all got at least a little better at being able to tell the difference the longer they heard you point out stuff/talk abt exactly why it was off-putting

(that said some of ur heroes are better at it than others, both in general, and certain aspects of it: like Twilight isn’t able to pick up illusions/glamours for the life of him, literally, sometimes, but he is more likely to figure out shapeshifters by scent after you Guided him)

(no, your heart didnt crack a little after learning that the boys had a harder time with deceit after you stopped playing the game = “were forced to leave after their adventure” bc while they were better at detecting it, they werent on ur human level yet..)

(…the only deception you ever really fell for was Koholint. It was so painful too, because Legend quietly disclosed to you one late night that you would constantly get strange feelings/uncanny disturbances, but were never able to put a name to it for him, which both made you jumpy/paranoid on the island, but made him regret ever letting his guard down all the more or feel guilty for what felt like dismissing ur instincts the more he relaxed… Legend never doubted your sense for the uncanny ever again. He takes it seriously every time now.

When you feel as if you should apologize, he tells u not to, that these days he takes comfort in it actually, it makes him feel safer. Legend looks to your face for confirmation that something isn’t a dream, and if you look at ease, so is he.)

its the way you casually laugh at Twi being called “Wolfie” when he’s obviously a wolf-dog hybrid or just a big dog

and when everyones confused u just explain smth smth, wolf heads are larger in comparison to their body, their legs are narrow, their paws are big, dogs are like the oppposite, or way more proportional like “Wolfie” is, dogs bob around when they run like “wolfie”, and have shorter legs,

smth smth wolves cant have eye colors like blue, only dogs/wolf-dog hybrids can silly-

and Wolfie is just like, ��� 😑 😐

turning around and walking away, bc hylias knotted fucking braid- he really cant escape the dog accusations now, you literally used ur freaky truth-seeing instinct and read his shapeshifter ass from head to literal toe/paw-

Wild/Hyrule look fascinated, Wind and Legend cant breath theyre laughing so hard, Time is coughing suspiciously into his fist and pops back up smirking, Four is laughing but also encouraging you to keep going, Sky is desperately trying to keep it together while also trying to get Twi to come back lmao, Wars is literally pointing and laughing ashkljdl-

ok but Twi gets his revenge later by tricking you into yapping abt how Hyrule/Four/Time all kind of look “off” sometimes too

like how u swear Rulie is glowing subtly when the moon is full, or how the world distorts behind his back sometimes,

or how Four’s eyes change colors all the time, his fighting style looks like its rotating between 4 diff ppl’s techniques,

or how Time’s face wrinkles like smile lines/crows feet at the corner of his eyes will randomly appear and disappear, how he’ll have some stubble one day then 3 days later despite having not shaven (u literally saw him wake up and do his morning routine) it’ll disappear like it was never there in the first place-

and when Twi has stopped asking you abt the others as they all reel over the knowledge of what all u can tell abt them,

(ur quietly relieved no one asked abt Wild.

You resolve urself to just lie if anyone asks, even to Wild himself.)

☆

hey im alive!! im slow yknow how it is,

ive been doing too much, and i cant wait to be done with this class so i can have free time guilt free again 🥲

god thats one good thing abt getting out of academia i dont miss and would only wish on my worst enemy,

the anxiety of doing smth, even necessary stuff like eating/sleeping/showering, and feeling liek you should be doing homework instead, god its so awful

cant wait to feel like an adult with my own life again lmao

that certification better work and get me a white collar job goddamit 🤞

anyway, hope ur all having a good weekend,

and just to let u know, im so happy acc that im alive to see the first zelda game that actually follows what i originally thought the plot of zelda games was when i was a kid lmao

(zelda as the protag, saving link!!)

Peace out,

🌙

[improbable-outset]

📂 𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨 𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭.𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞

I don’t think there’s any trigger warnings needed for this. But I just wanna give a heads up that I did not write these in order so there might be some HC that looks rush— I couldn’t elaborate on some, sorry 😢

𝐔𝐥𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

📄 𝐀𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Kenji’s past experiences and personality traits shape how he shows affection. Having lived in America for most of his life, his way of showing love blends both American and Japanese elements

In America, people are generally more direct with their affection, and public displays of affection (PDA) are more socially acceptable, or at least not that frowned upon, including hugging, kissing, and hand-holding. While gift giving is important in American culture, it doesn’t carry the same significance as in Japan (cuteeeee).

In contrast, Japanese culture often values subtle and indirect expressions of affection, with intimate gestures usually kept private. Kenji’s approach combines both culture seamlessly

Kenji might express his love in a mix of direct and indirect ways. His approach to PDA might vary depending on his surroundings. As a star baseball player that’s constantly in the public eye, he might save more intimate gestures for private moments. However, he won’t shy away from holding your hand or giving a quick peck on the cheek

Drawing from Japanese culture, Ken will give gifts as a way of showing his love— and given that this man is loaded, they do tend to be pretty extravagant. He might also embrace more grand gestures typical in American culture

Though he appreciates your thoughtful gestures too. Whether it’s leaving small gifts or notes in his duffle bag before a game or making him breakfast, he cherishes these moments with you

Overall, Kenji is grateful that you love all aspect of him, appreciating the different ways he shows his affection and your understanding and acceptance of his unique blend of cultural influences

📄 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝.𝐝𝐨𝐜

I’m glad that there are more people acknowledging the struggles Kenji faced as a Japanese person newly moved to LA. In his first interview with Ami, he stated how he was made fun of for the way he looked and talked, indicating he had a hard time making friends in America. This was a difficult adjustment period for him.

But if you thought that was bad, moving back to Japan presented its own set of challenges. Despite returning to his home country, Ken struggled to fit in with the Japanese crowd. We’ve heard the unwarranted comment from the catcher: “We’re waiting for the Japanese version of this guy,” highlighting his continuing struggle with acceptance.

So it is canon that this man is lonely. Given everything he has been through, you would expect him to have a bitter attitude and be more closed off. However, that’s not the case.

Ken can be sociable when he wants to be. He often masks his internal struggle with his cocky exterior, which might add another difficulty in making friends, but it doesn’t define his character entirely.

Beyond his bravado, Ken has the potential to be a great friend. We’ve seen the way he warms up to Ami later on in the story. He can be fiercely loyal when he wants to be and stand by those he cares about and be there when they need them.

The real question is: will he let you be there for him? How long will it take for him to let you in his psych? This is a complex layer of his character that we’ll explore later on in the alphabet

📄 𝐂𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Oh, this man definitely needs to be held. At the start of your relationship, Kenji would always be the one holding you close. His arms would wrap around you while you nestled on his chest. He found comfort in the role and didn’t think much about needing to be held himself, until you gently asked him about it

He was reluctant about it at first but eventually he relented, allowing you to hold him close. Feeling your heartbeat near his ear and your arms around him, he quickly grew enamoured and melted into your touch.

It took him a few cuddle sessions for him to adjust to this new dynamic, but once he did, he embraced it fully (all puns intended)

As your relationship deepened, Kenji became more comfortable with initiating cuddle sessions himself. He’s not shy about expressing when he needs to be held

I can see him climbing into bed and nuzzling into your neck, seeking closeness. From being the one who held you, Kenji appreciates the reciprocity of being held by you. Knowing someone cares for him deeply gives him a sense of contentment

📄 𝐃𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Over time, Kenji’s desire to settle down grows stronger the more he spends time with you. Seeing the stability and fulfilment a settled life can bring, he envisions a secure, private home environment where you both can unwind away from the public eye

Kenji’s cooking skills are basic but heartfelt. He learned to cook out of necessity while living in the America, often preparing meals with his mother as a way of spending quality time together.

He sees cooking together as a way of bonding and creating lasting memories. Despite having an advanced automated delivery system in his home, he often prefers to cook with you, valuing the personal touch. He is open to learning new recipes and techniques, often taking lead in the kitchen

While Kenji prefers to keep his living space organised, he isn’t fond of the labour of cleaning. He relies on his high-tech home and Mina to handle most of the household chores efficiently. He appreciates the comfort and peace that a well-maintained home provides

He utilise the technology in his home to make his life easier, ensuring that everything is kept in order.

📄 𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠.𝐝𝐨𝐜

The way he handles your break up really depends on the situation, but he would always prefer to do it face-to-face for clarity and honesty

If it was you at fault, it might be because he feels like there’s a lack of support from you or because you betrayed his trust.

He may seem resentful on the outside but is shattered on the inside. After you both go your separate ways, you’ll never hear from him again, but you won’t know that he’s holding back from contacting you and forgiving you. However, his pride won’t allow him to.

But if you do something seriously bad, like continuously disrespect him or, worse case-scenario, cheat on him, he’ll be colder towards you. Don’t expect him to give you another chance after that

If he’s the one that’s at fault here, it’ll probably be because he prioritise his career and baseball over your relationship and has unintentionally neglected you. He’ll be upset and pissed off.

He’s not angry at you, but more at himself for not being better. He’s already dealing with his mother’s absence and now he has lost another important person in his life.

But unlike his mothers disappearance, he had control over the situation, and it could’ve been avoided if he changed

In this case, he won’t beg you to stay but rather wish you well for your future and would seek to provide closure

📄 𝐅𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Kenji take’s commitment seriously, especially given everything he has been through while moving the the US and back to Japan, often feeling lonely. Despite his loneliness, he won’t make a move unless he’s fully committed to building a future together, and ensure that you’re both are emotionally ready for the next step

However his career in being in the spotlight and having eyes on him might impact his decision. He has already mastered separating his personal life concealed from the media, but having a partner might spark some unwanted attention and an uproar of press conferences asking about his love life.

Kenji is acutely aware of the intrusive nature of the media. He wants to protect his partner and any future children from unwanted attention. Kenji will find a way to navigate through the chaos and maintain a balance with his career and his personal life

He’ll openly discuss with you how you could balance his career and future together. This includes talking about the timelines for your marriage so it won’t clash with his professional commitment

He values your input when making decisions and wants to ensure that you’re both are on the same page

📄 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Kenji’s gentleness shines through both in action and his protective nature. We’ve seen the way he cradled and soothed Emi at Tokyo Tower after he accidentally fractured her arm, all while trying to keep himself calm after she got tranquillised by the KDF. Despite his strength as Ultraman and his athletic build, he still takes great care not to cause harm.

His physical gentleness extends to his interactions with you. Whether it’s the tender way he holds you or his carefulness during physical activities, Kenji ensures that his doesn’t go overboard with his strength

However, the same can’t be completely said for his emotional gentleness. While he has a good heart, he struggles to find the right words for reassurance. He tries emulating what his mother would say when she comforted him, hoping it would have the same effect on you as it did to him, even as an adult

He draws from his mother’s influence, replicating her warmth and security she provided, hoping it would bring you the same comfort

📄 𝐇𝐮��𝐬.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Okay, we’ve seen how Kenji was literally running and jumping around with Emi outside of his cabin, you can’t tell me he doesn’t love hugs. After watching that scene, I can definitely see him sweeping you off your feet and spinning you around in his embrace during a moment of celebration or excitement (maybe when he finally wins a championship or when you accept his marriage proposal hehe)

His hugs have a grounding effect, making you feel safe in his arms. Given his athletic build, it’ll be a mixture of firmness and softness. And with his height, his hugs would be a full-body embrace, where you would be completely held

📄 𝐈 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮.𝐝𝐨𝐜

He’s not shy when it comes to verbally expressing his love to you; however, it was definitely you who said it first before he had the confidence to say it back. As your relationship deepens, he starts to initiate it too and uses other affirmations more freely, especially in private

Phrases like “aishiteru” are used sparingly and are usually reserved for serious committed relationships. He’ll probably use that every once in a while but not always, so he won’t overuse it and it’ll still hold its value

📄 𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Kenji doesn’t have a lot of relationship experience. This is the first time he has build an emotional connection with someone (if you don’t count Ami, though I wouldn’t call that a true connection) so if he feels like the relationship is threatened by anyone, it’s only natural for him to feel some jealousy

Not saying that he doesn’t know how to act or handle his emotions— rather, he just doesn’t want to lose you. His relationship with you represents a huge step from his lonesome life, and though he does trust you deeply, there’s still some underlying doubt and insecurities.

Despite his confidence in many areas, when it comes to the matter of heart, he’s still navigating uncharted waters. However, as your relationship strengthens and he becomes more secure with your love, these jealousy moments become less frequent

📄 𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬.𝐝𝐨𝐜

According to the wiki page trivia, Kenji is approximately 6 feet tall (no surprise). So forehead kisses are a given, especially if you are shorter than him. He loves doing it at the most unexpected moments, it’s not too intimate for the public yet still tender.

He adores your kisses too, even if they aren’t as passionate— good luck kisses before his game, before bed, and surprise kisses.

You shared your first kiss at his place, alone together. He appreciated the privacy and having you to himself that night without any watchful eyes. You were the one that held his face and guided him, since he doesn’t do this often, or at least not in this scenario

📄 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐎𝐧𝐞𝐬.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Before Emi stumbled upon his life, the thought of having children never really crossed his mind. His initial reluctance and emotional breakdown when he had to take care of Emi shows how unprepared he felt for the role of fatherhood. Despite eventually embracing the role and finding joy in caring for Emi, he still feels a bit iffy about having his own children (biological or adopted)

A human baby is much smaller and more delicate than a kaiju. Human infants are more vulnerable, and this amplifies Ken’s insecurities.

Every new parent will have the typical fear of not being good enough or making mistakes, and I think Ken’s insecurities stem from his past.

Ken’s strained relationship with his father, even though it was eventually resolved, left a lasting impact on him. As a child, he felt abandoned when his father stayed in Japan while he moved to America with his mother.

I feel like the sense of abandonment is a deep-rooted fear he carries into his own potential parenthood. He’s anxious that his double life as a star baseball player and Ultraman might leave his own child to feel the same way he did— confused and abandoned.

However, this might give him determination not to repeat history and ensure his child never feels the same way he did. Furthermore, the thought of his child watching him play, whether through TV or in person, might inspire him to excel in his baseball career.

He hopes that his kid will look up to him with admiration just as Emi did when she watched him practice and supported him

📄 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Unless you’re an early riser, he’s usually up before you, around 5:30-6am. He quietly gets out of bed to avoid disturbing you. His morning starts with either a run or a home workout (That scene of him jump-roping in front of the rising sun will forever be etched in my mind). He probably uses his simulation to replicate the workout scene, just like how he does with the baseball pitch

Once he completes his workout, he showers and changes into his casual clothes. By now, you would definitely be awake. He loves these little moments with you, so he puts effort to make breakfast together instead of relying on Mina to use the automated delivery system— just as he did in the scene when he was trying to feed Emi for the first time

After breakfast, Mina provides his schedule for the day and updates him on any threats, just in case he needs to leave for an unexpected mission. By 8:00 he’ll leave for his baseball training facility

📄 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Every night is not the same when it comes to living with Ultraman. Some nights, Kenji will come home late after another mission, protecting Tokyo. But if he doesn’t need to be out, he’ll be home by 6pm and will greet you with a tired smile

He will take a few minutes to unwind on the couch before he showers and changes to his loungewear. You’re always on your toes, checking for any injuries, and maybe even give him a massage if he needs it

He might rewatch some of his old video with his mom with you and share those special memories. This is significant because you’re one of the important people in his life, and sharing these moments means a lot to him

You’ll have dinner at around 7/8pm, sharing stories about your day. If he did have a good game, be prepared to hear him ramble and boast about it like you didn’t just watch his game on the TV

By 9pm, you both start to wind down, taking it slow and turning off any screens and by 10pm you’ll head to bed, cuddling together

📄 𝐎𝐩��𝐧.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Kenji won’t open up to you immediately, especially regarding his vulnerabilities about his mother and how he doesn’t fit in. At first he’ll come off with his blasé attitude, brushing off or downplaying sensitive topics to make them seem less significant

But with your efforts, you create a safe space for him to express himself and his fears, something he’s still getting used to. You offer him constant reassurance (and trust me, be patient with him), reminding him that he can lean on you

After several sessions of you healing his wounds from a baseball game or another mission and constantly checking if he’s okay, he slowly warms up to you and grows more comfortable in opening up

You’re gonna make him weak on the knees if you keep on doting him like that and encourage him to take care of himself. He’ll have no choice but to spill everything to you because he knows you won’t think of him differently

📄 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Even before you got together, we’ve all seen how he was with Emi, teaching her baseball and her rehabilitation training after she got injured. He never gave up on her, his patience blooming naturally.

He’s never the type to get easily angry unless you really do something that genuinely pisses him off or constantly doing something that you bothers him

After everything you’ve done for him, it’s only fair that Kenji give you the same level of patience as you do with him. The way you treat him inspired him to be better in your relationship

📄 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐞𝐬.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Having an AI assistant that helps him keep track of his schedule and special dates makes it easier to remember anniversaries and other important events. But beyond that, Kenji is quite sentimental and has a keen eye for the little details about you.

He keeps momentous from your time together similar to how he treasures videos of his mother. These trinkets might include small souvenirs from places you’ve always wanted to visit

He uses his keep memory to choose thoughtful gifts that show how well he knows you. He might surprise you with something that reminds you of a special day you shared

Overall, Kenji’s attention to detail means he remembers and cherishes little things about you, making you feel truly seen

📄 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫.𝐝𝐨𝐜

One of his favourite memories in your relationship is when you came to watch one of his games live. Although he couldn’t see you in the audience, the thought alone of you being there gave him the boost to perform better. He probably flaunted a little just because he knew you were watching and wanted to impress you

Another memory he loves is when you made him his favourite green tea when he was sick. It sounds mundane, but it felt good having you take care of him and knowing you’d be by his side, even at his lowest. Also you tea-making skills is impeccable

📄 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Kanji’s Ultraman duties include protecting the city from any threats. When the baby kaiju egg hatched in his hands, his protective instincts kicked in when the KDF were actively searching for it. He brought it home without thinking about the consequences (fuck around and find out)— so it’s only natural that he’s protective over you too

There are different ways Ken would be protective over you. He would physically shield you by placing himself between you and the threat. I don’t know if he had any special ‘training’ as Ultraman but he is well-versed in combat and because of his athletic physique, he can handle physical threats effectively

He will probably teach you some basic self-defence techniques or emergency protocols, like having Mina track your location, just in case he’s not around

But even with all of this, he still respects your independence and personal space, the last thing he wants is to smother you. He trusts that you can handle situations on your own but always makes it clear that he’s there when you need him. He just wants to make sure you’re safe

📄 𝐓𝐫𝐲.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Having never been in a real relationship before, Kenji finds himself making an effort to make every moment special. Because he’s never had a deep connection with anyone like this, he will tend to ensure his partner feels valued and appreciated. Though he will go overboard as his fear of losing you drives him to go above and beyond

For dates and anniversaries, Kenji will plan every detail, from the venue place to the different activities. He booked a rooftop dinner that gave a view of the city for your first anniversary. His gestures can sometimes be grand and extravagant, as he wants to make you happy and create memorable moments

His dedication and efforts partly stems from people-pleasing tendencies that are shaped by his past loneliness and desire for acceptance. There’s a lingering fear of falling short and being left behind because he didn’t do enough which leads to him overextending himself, even if it is with good intentions (poor Ken…)

However, you remind him that he doesn’t need to do all of that to make you happy; you love him for who he is, not for his grand gestures. It’s an added bonus, but not a foundation of your relationship

While Kenji does struggle to maintain a balance of his grand gestures with the simplicity of his affection, his heart will always be in the right place. Your reminder that his love and presence is enough gives him a peace of mind and helps him enjoy your relationship more organically

📄 𝐔𝐠𝐥𝐲.𝐝𝐨𝐜

We all know that at the end of the film, Ken sheds some of his arrogance from the beginning, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be completely free from it immediately. Sometimes his cockiness can get in the way, making him seem dismissive.

It’s not that he’s intentionally doing it, but he’s still learning to break away from his habits, especially if it’s harming your relationship. The last thing he wants is to ruin things because of his old character that he’s trying to fix

Just as mentioned earlier, he has never had this kind of connection with anyone, so he’s also new to being emotionally available. He struggles to communicate his feelings openly since he is used to concealing them, especially from the press and the public.

This might lead to misunderstandings and unaddressed issues. But together, you work through it, and slowly, he warms up to it

📄 𝐕𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲.𝐝𝐨𝐜

This man has a whole car collection in his crib so he is definitely loaded. You can’t tell me that he doesn’t spend his money on his outfits, looking the best of the best. Kenji is fully aware of his good looks and he knows how to use them to his full advantage

He takes great pride in his appearance, not only because he’s often in the spotlight as a professional baseball player but also as way of expressing himself and his achievements

We’ve seen his outfits when he was in that interview with Ami— the blazer with the necklace. His confidence shines through in every aspect of his appearance, whether through his sharp outfits, that are perfectly coordinated, to his sleek jewelry collection

In your relationship, you appreciate his confidence and the way he takes care of himself. His vanity and fashion sense become a shared joy, with you sometimes helping him pick out outfits and new accessories. It adds to the charm and closeness to your relationship

All in all, Kenji’s vanity is a blend of his confidence and self-expression— it’s a reflection of his personality and journey.

📄 𝐖𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Although Kenji does value his independence, and even though he sometimes gets lonely, there are elements in your relationship that make him feel complete and fulfilled. Having a human companionship to come to, rather than just an ai assistant (sorry Mina, still love you), means a lot to him

Your presence provides Kenji the emotional support he craves. After a tough day, he knows you’re always there to listen to him. You both celebrate his victories, whether on the field or in his Ultraman duties. Same goes with challenging times, you both lean on each other for support

Your relationship has contributed to personal growth for both of you. Kenji has learned to be more open and expressive with his feelings. You both encourage each other to be the best version of yourselves

📄 𝐗𝐭𝐫𝐚.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Ken is definitely a foodie. While living in America, he found comfort in food and developed an appreciation for various cuisines. Because he struggled to fit in, he often turned to food as a source of solace.

He particularly loves Hispanic and South Asian food (<<self indulging here, can’t tell me he doesn’t like pani puri) for their rich traditions, even if they differ from the Japanese cuisine

When you’re together, Kenji enjoys replicating these dishes and sharing them with you. They hold a special place in his heart. His love for food isn’t just about the different flavours but the memories they bring

📄 𝐘𝐮𝐜𝐤.𝐝𝐨𝐜

One thing Kenji can’t stand from his partner is someone who always broadcasts everything about their relationship. He would prefer to keep matters like that private, especially when he has an image to maintain. The only reason he shared his mothers message at the end of the film with Ami was because it was a memory he cherished deeply

Speaking of family, after reconciling with his father, Kenji values his relationship with his family immensely. Having a partner who doesn’t respect or get along with his family would be problematic for him

Finally, one of the most important aspects is his passion for baseball and his duties as Ultraman. A partner who belittles or doesn’t support his career or responsibilities would not work out. Ken needs someone who understands and respects his dedication to both his professional and personal missions

📄 𝐙𝐳𝐳.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Okay we all know that it’s canon that Kenji sleeps shirtless :)))) yeah I don’t have to elaborate on that

I feel like he was a heavy sleeper before his Ultraman duties has taken a toll on his sleeping habits, he has to be more alert so he’ll probably become more of a light sleeper

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: @clonedrone @f3r4lfr0gg3r @aise-30 @luneariaa @prettygirleli

@trasshy-artist @beabadobeee @doodlenoodleboi @just-me-and-my-world @mitski9328373

@ilovehobi101 @moonjellyfishie @unhingedsillygod @stfuchaase @myrootsgrowdeep

@mitskicain @graham-mckrackers @coinduck @n4muqr

I was surprised to see how many ppl asked to be tagged in this 🥹🥹 hopefully we have the same energy with the nsfw version

[akrasianwords]

a few people were interested in my aspd dazai analysis but I feel like no one is seeing the reblog of the essay so it gets its own post now! yap ahead

A couple of days ago, I was having a conversation with an acquaintance about Dazai. At one point, I had offhandedly mentioned that I believe Dazai is someone who deals with ASPD. While I thought it was fairly obviously implied throughout the show, they were quick to disagree with me, offering instead the opinion of him having BPD. Now, I’m not one to start arguments over simple things like this and I could tell they were not the type of person who would enjoy a debate. So like any rational, passionate person, I decided to write a 5 page essay on it instead. In this essay I will elaborate on why I believe ASPD is a better fit diagnosis for Dazai than BPD, present evidence to support it, and talk about why I don’t think he has BPD.

Before we get into this, let’s talk about what exactly ASPD and BPD are. Disclaimer, I am not a professional, nor have I been formally diagnosed with either. So, I am not an expert. However, I do believe I’ve done enough research and have my own personal experiences with a large portion of symptoms of ASPD, as well as having several personal connections to people with BPD, to speak on this.

Antisocial Personality Disorder is a cluster B disorder characterised mostly by a frequent lack of understanding of empathy, using manipulation and/or deception to further one’s own needs or wants, and being generally apathetic towards people’s personal thoughts and feelings. People with ASPD often have a hard time discerning and comprehending morals, forming meaningful attachments with people around them, and caring about societal norms. Overall, the struggle of ASPD is mostly found with morality and empathy.

(I would like to note that just because someone may struggle with these things, it does not mean they are incapable of it. Someone with ASPD is just as able to love and be loved as the next person, they just have a more difficult time overcoming their own personal blocks in order to do so. Similarly, they may struggle with understanding morality but that does not mean they are incapable of conforming to what is widely considered right or wrong. They may have different reasons for being kind or just, such as ‘it’s too much trouble to be bad,’ ‘I like it when others tell me I’m a good person,’ or ‘it’s just what I’m supposed to do.’ This does not mean their actions are invalid, simply that they have differing motivations from the larger population.)

On the other hand, Borderline Personality Disorder, also cluster B, is most well known for intense and irregular mood swings, attachment and abandonment issues, and impulsive and self destructive behaviour. People who deal with BPD typically also struggle with mania, a warped and unstable sense of self, and intense and generally unjustified anger issues. The gist of BPD, at its core, is the inability to regulate thoughts and emotions. Someone with BPD may do a complete 180 emotionally because of something another individual may deem small or insignificant. A partner forgetting to text back could trigger emotions that have the same weight as if the partner were to break up with them. Someone who has just experienced the death of their father could suddenly the next day feel on top of the world, given the right prompting. BPD is all about the instability and insecurity regarding thoughts, feelings, or identity.

So! How does this relate to Dazai? I’m glad you asked!

Throughout the series, Dazai continuously shows signs and behavioural patterns aligning with that of someone with ASPD. He is constantly seen manipulating people and situations to get the results he desires, he’s outright stated to have no interest or understanding of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, and it’s not uncommon to see him using or mistreating certain people in his life with little to no empathy or regret. The prevalence of this behaviour changes significantly with his transfer to the Armed Detective Agency, but is definitely still something that affects Dazai to this day. If he has to threaten to torture someone to get the information he wants, as seen with Kouyou after Kyouka was taken, or sacrifice one innocent person’s life to end a villain’s, as seen with Rokuzo and Miss Sasaki in his entrance exam, he has no issue doing such.

In the Dark Ages, Oda tells Dazai outright that he doesn’t care about morality. Dazai is as Dazai does, and he has no reservations doing things deemed evil to further his (or Mori’s) own goals. His list of crimes is extensive. His personal relationships are messy and toxic. He has no issue with lying, stealing, or killing. The only reason he decides to pursue the life of a good man is because someone he grew to care for, Oda, had requested it as his dying wish. It’s likely that in stating his understanding of Dazai’s views, or lack thereof, on good and evil, he proved to Dazai that he understood him. This is one of the main factors that convinced Dazai to take his wish into consideration. Knowing that Oda understood his true apathetic nature and still requested this of him convinced Dazai to give Oda’s ideologies a chance. Had Oda not asked it of Dazai, he likely would have stayed with the Port Mafia without much thought to it.

Manipulation is perhaps one of Dazai’s most well known traits. He’s famous for his schemes, his tricks, his ability to transform any person or situation into what he wants them to be. Take Akutagawa for example. Dazai is cruel to him with the interest of moulding him into something the Port Mafia (or himself, later on) can use. He has little to no regard for Akutagawa’s safety or emotions. This is something that, for the most part, follows him into his new life at the Armed Detective Agency. He says and does things to manipulate Akutagawa’s emotions to play in Dazai’s favour. He makes comments about Akutagawa being inferior to Atsushi (‘my new apprentice is superior to you in every way imaginable’), he uses Akutagawa’s admiration against him (ex. The Moby Dick, when Dazai has Atsushi throw the cellphone in order to distract Akutagawa), and he holds the promise of approval over his head in order to get Akutagawa to do things he typically wouldn’t (‘I hope to see you a little more competent now’ during the Cannibalism Arc as he’s told to work with Atsushi).

During the prison arc, Dazai is shown to play a game of chess with Fyodor. It’s obvious what the pieces on the board represent: each piece is a character. Every character plays a role in Dazai’s chess match against the Demon. He’s got his Queen, his Knights, his Bishop, etc. and he’ll manipulate them and the situation as he sees fit in order to win the match. One of the main components to his relationship with Fyodor is how similar they think. Dazai has stated on several occasions that the reason he’s able to predict Fyodor’s actions and plans is because ‘it’s what he would do.’ They share ideas, strategies, and behaviours. Both are prone to manipulation and deception in order to get what they want.

Some other noticeable examples that I’m too lazy to elaborate on but speak for themselves are the scene with the nurse and the phone, the scene where Dazai sends Atsushi to go investigate his own abuser’s death, and when Dazai manipulates Chuuya into joining the Port Mafia.

I’ve touched on deception a few times so far, but I felt it was significant enough to deserve its own paragraph. It’s not uncommon for Dazai to leave out important details, or tell outright lies in order to get what he wants. He lied to most of the members of the Agency about his past for years in order to keep his place there, assuming that they would shun them had they known. His entire personality is mostly a facade, putting up the mask of a silly detective man to avoid being taken too seriously.

He’s prone to apathy, and doesn’t really ever show any characters empathy throughout the series. When Atsushi is having a panic attack, Dazai’s instinct is to slap him back to reality rather than cater to his emotional needs. When Kunikida is upset by the results of his and Dazai’s actions in Dazai’s Entrance Exam, Dazai simply tells him that reality won’t conform to his ideals. After Chuuya is betrayed by the Sheep, Dazai uses his vulnerability to recruit him into the Port Mafia. It’s rare to see him act sympathetic with characters. This does not mean he doesn’t show kindness to them, but he clearly has difficulties empathising with people going through crises.

Along with others, he’s rather uncaring towards himself. Most of the times we’ve seen him in dangerous situations, he’s continued to act carefree and unbothered. When he was captured by the Port Mafia he had no reservations about provoking Akutagawa even though he knew it would cause himself harm. He also has consistently proven that he doesn’t care about his own life. Via attempts and jokes alike, he’s prone to suicide in a way that makes it obvious he holds very little value to himself. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he has a low sense of self, or that he’s insecure. He’s got a very solid opinion of himself. He just doesn’t care whether he’s dead or alive.

While Dazai struggles with all of these, it doesn’t mean he is incapable of doing good. His relationship with Oda was clearly genuine, and he obviously cared for him a great deal. He’s also the only reason Atsushi is alive right now, and he’s taken great care to give Atsushi a decent life. He’s a sufficient mentor for him, and he’s done a lot of good for Yokohama with the Armed Detective Agency. He’s come clean about his past to his friends, and overall has improved his way of life. Dazai has grown from the Demon Prodigy of the Port Mafia into a respectable man of justice. He still has moments where his apathetic side will shine through, but he’s clearly healed and developed quite a bit since joining the ADA.

‘Okay cool. So… what about BPD? He could share some symptoms. You haven’t talked about that since the intro paragraphs. Wasn’t this about ASPD and BPD? You suck. Loser.’

I’m getting there! Control yourself. It’s taken 14 paragraphs to get to this point. God forbid I be thorough with my analysis. SMH. Anyways.

Now that we’ve talked significantly enough about Dazai having ASPD, let’s touch on why I don’t think he has BPD. This is a headcanon I’ve seen frequently enough that I’ve formed an opinion on it. Obviously. That’s why I’m writing this essay.

The thing is, BPD relies on emotional instability and a disorganised attachment and sense of self. I don’t see any of that in Dazai. He has a fairly concrete opinion of himself and his identity. His emotional state is consistent throughout the show, excluding a few specific scenarios, and while he seems reckless and impulsive, he’s not. All of his actions are always carefully planned out, even if it doesn’t seem so.

Dazai is well known for his carefree and jokester persona. When he’s not playfully dumping his work on Atsushi or Kunikida, he’s cracking jokes and poking fun at the members of the Detective Agency. It’s not often that we see the mask slip off. When it does, though, it’s almost always when he’s reminiscing over Oda. That, or actively plotting against a formidable opponent he takes seriously. These are pretty normal situations to not be joking around in. The guy is grieving his dead best friend. Not exactly a drastic mood swing. Fairly run of the mill. Outside of this, we don’t ever see him react severely and unjustifiedly. His emotions are always carefully balanced.

(Note, I am aware of the scene with Akutagawa during the Dark Ages. Have patience. I’ll get to that eventually.)

We also don’t see him struggle with abandonment/attachment issues. He has the ‘everything worth wanting is lost the moment I obtain it’ mentality, but that doesn’t exactly prohibit him from forming bonds with the people around him. He’s fairly normal about everyone at the Armed Detective Agency. He obviously cares for Atsushi, and he doesn’t make any moves to push him or anyone else away—or become unhealthily attached, on the contrary—both of which are very common behaviours in people with BPD. He goes to their parties (I can’t exactly remember when, but I’m fairly certain he was there when Poe visited Ranpo during the ADA party, and on the yacht with the infamous ‘to the Stray Dogs’ scene), runs errands and completes chores with them (the Wan episode where he and Atsushi are cleaning lockers together), and makes a point to hang out with them outside of work (the fireworks festival we all know and love/hate).

He doesn’t struggle with his self image. It’s never implied that Dazai doesn’t know who he is or where he belongs. He doesn’t have any internal conflict about whether he’s Port Mafia or Armed Detective Agency; he’s actually quite firm on his stance. He rejects Mori’s offers and requests to return to the Mafia several times throughout the series. He’s secure in his sense of self. He has no issues admitting his strengths and flaws, and he knows who he is and what he wants.

The only time we’ve seen him become angry to the point of an extreme reaction is when Akutagawa doesn’t do as Dazai had wanted in the Dark Ages. He kills the hostages they had taken rather than prodding them for information. Dazai’s reaction, while definitely intense, was neither unprovoked nor unjustified in his point of view. Him shooting the gun at Akutagawa was both a punishment and a lesson. The pressure of a life or death situation was what provoked Akutagawa to finally grasp control over Rashomon in a way that would allow him to use Devoured Space. So while extreme, Dazai’s anger had reason to it.

I also would like to remind everyone that this scene was set during the time Dazai was in the Mafia. It’s understandable for the stakes and punishments to be intense. If a subordinate doesn’t learn a lesson quickly and efficiently, the consequences can range from a mild beating to the fall of an entire organisation. Dazai knew this as well, which is why he wasn’t going to tolerate impulsivity. Also it’s the Mafia. They’re like, known for guns and killing and shit.

Contrary to anger, mania is the state of intense highs, feeling like you’re on top of the world. People who experience mania often feel like they’re invincible, either physically or metaphorically. They may put themselves in harm’s way to prove that ‘nothing can hurt them,’ or risk all their money gambling because ‘they just can’t lose.’ They’re excitable, irrational, and impulsive. Dazai is none of these things. He puts himself in harm’s way to either attempt to destroy himself, or as a part of his plan to get things to play out the way he wants. Everything he does, while it may look impulsive, has a plan. The only thing I can think of within the series where he acts without thinking is in his entrance exam where he offers to drive the taxi for the thrill of the fact that he is actually a terrible fucking driver. If he gambles, he knows he’ll win. If he jumps, he hopes he’ll fall. His behaviour is always carefully thought out. Also he’s consistently depressed throughout the story, so. No room for that.

Now onto everyone's favourite topic, self destructive behaviour! It's pretty widely known and agreed upon that Dazai either does or has self-harmed before. Hence the bandages. He's also very loud and proud about his passion for suicide. This could count, it's definitely self destructive in the physical sense, but I don't believe it's because of BPD. I think the guy is just really fucking depressed. He just wants to die, it's not so much in an ‘I don't deserve good things or comfort’ way. I also want to touch on the more figurative methods of self destruction. He doesn't exactly go out of his way to sabotage himself in regards to his work, his relationships (he fucks with Chuuya, but he just generally enjoys riling him up), or anything like that. On the contrary, we see him actively putting effort into keeping those things stable. (Lying in order to keep his place at the ADA, being active in his social circle, working towards keeping the ADA and Yokohama in general safe.) So, not really self sabotage in a way that makes me think of BPD.

Overall, most of Dazai's struggles or traits fall under understanding empathy, morality, and manipulation. His actions throughout the series are not hard to connect to these patterns, and it doesn’t take much digging to find supporting evidence. All of his characterization leads to the conclusion of ASPD, rather than BPD. He isn't a very emotionally unregulated character, in my opinion. He’s level-headed, well managed, and secure in himself and his environment. The guy just doesn't quite know how to function as a human being with other human beings, but he's trying.

Also no you cannot change my mind. Anyways I've been writing for like 4 hours so goodbye.

[zer0brainc3lls]

Newtmas headcanons pt2!

Newt and Thomas both read and they just sit in bed together reading all the time, ever so often gasping and going "you'll never guess what just happened-"

Newt is a chronic clothes THIEF. he doesn't buy baggy clothes because he will just go and steal Thomas's stuff 😭 "its not your shirt, its OUR shirt. big difference." "I BOUGHT IT?!" "AND I PICKED IT FOR YOU!" "YEAH I SEE WHY NOW"

Thomas would see little trinkets or flowers and just give it to Newt with little to no context except maybe "for you!" "i found this" Newt has kept every single one. he presses the flowers and keeps them in a book, the trinkets are in a box.

Newt got told by a doctor he should be using a cane, Newt refused but made the fatal mistake of complaining to Thomas about it.. Newt now has a cane decorated with stickers.

before Newt got the flare he had a weaker immune system then the other guys (aka they have really strong immune systems and his was just normal so everyone thought his was weak) but after he got the flare and got cured it ACTUALLY got weak, like a cold for someone else will have him in bed for days vomiting :( Thomas however almost never gets sick.. so he takes care of sick Newt OFTEN

Newt loves taking care of plants, Thomas cannot keep them alive.

Thomas is wearing shorts in the freezing cold, Newt is in multiple layers the moment the temperate gets even slightly cold

Newt is a flower crown/bracelet WARRIOR. Anytime Thomas comes home with flowers he found if he has enough Newt makes them into bracelets for Thomas to wear around (sometimes he makes crowns but he usually makes bracelets because it’s more practical for Thomas)

Thomas won’t take the bracelets off unless he’s showering/sleeping (so they don’t break) and will wear them till they have withered off

Thomas BEGGED Newt to teach him how to plait hair, once he got it down he plaits Newts hair for him

Thomas sometimes has a hard time focusing, and will sometimes not look at people while they are talking (not in a rude way!!) and Newt will just tap him on the shoulder if it’s someone else but if Thomas is “ignoring” HIM.. yk that move he did to frypan when he was looking at Teresa? Yeah. That gets Thomas’s attention alright 😭 example:

Newt: yeah so then-

Thomas: *staring off into the distance, fiddling with his hands deep in thought*

Newt: *rolls his eyes and grabs Thomas’s face and makes him look at him* y’know you’re s’pose to look at people when they talk to ya Tommy

Thomas: *red in the face* uhm- yeah you’re right- sorry what did you say hun?

(Newt knows this gets Thomas flustered btw. Uses it to his upmost advantage)

When Newt got the cure (I’m insane) he still suffered from the rare burst of anger/paranoia and on very very bad days hallucinations, since he was past the gone when he got the cure. No where near as bad to when he had the flare but still bad none the less, Thomas reassures him constantly and helps him calm down.

Being sick is a massiveee trigger for Newt. Fever, flu, vomiting you name it he’s on edge. Sometimes he gets in his own head and second guesses if he’s really cured but once again Thomas saves the day and is always there for him when he’s sick, staying home more to make sure he’s ok. (Writing a small fic about this btw!!!)

Newt is a back rub fanatic. Loves them. Receiving end or giving he does NOT care!! Thomas figured this out and whenever Newt is upset Thomas rubs his back

Fav kiss placements (giving and receiving):

Newt: gives cheek and neck kisses, loves receiving normal, forehead/hair kisses & neck kisses

Thomas: gives normal, just all over Newts face & neck kisses, loves receiving neck kisses and cheek kisses

More on neck kisses specifically there is a reason beside lust!! Its pulse points, reminds them that this is infact real and the other is ok :)

When they hold hands they sometimes check each others pulses out of habit, if in a uncomfortable scenario one will check the others and if it’s higher they gesture with a head nod if the other wants to leave

They both underestimate their own injuries, the other freaks out when the other is slightly sick/injured because in the scorch tiny cuts or the flu were very dangerous. Not much medicine or anything. Even in the safe haven, it’s a habit they won’t get rid of convinced it keeps them safe. They had a rule in the scorch that they had to tell the other if they were injuried since they own they themselves won’t see it as a big deal. Example:

*in the safe haven*

Thomas: hey Newt I got this cut on my hand today *shows palm, slight cut still bleeding*

Newt: *eyes widen in shock, grabbing Thomas’s hand careful not to touch the wound dragging him away*

Brenda: where are you going?!

Newt: to bandage it!! *tugs Thomas’s faster*

They do the whole deal. Cleaning, bandaging double checking etc :( poor boys

Newt tops, Thomas bottoms. No further questions!!

They are NOT picky eaters. At all. Plates fully clean, they do have favourites though

Newt: he loves sweet foods but also loves spicy food, adores pineapple with his whole heart

Thomas: loves salty food, not the biggest fan of spice. Loves carrots and apples though (the carrot one is canon I think)

Going on about food, they share food without question. Apple? Cut in half. Got a snack? Got extra for the other. The other still has food on their plate (very rare) the other will finish it off.

In the wicked facility whenever Thomas ever saw Newt besides sneaking out (rare af) sometimes they would purposely bump into each other just for an excuse to say hi, very very quickly whispering anything important before being ushered away

Sometimes, the others wouldn’t be there when Thomas snuck around so there were a handful of times it was just Thomas and Newt. Newt remembers this and told Thomas, Thomas however doesn’t and is very sad about it. :(

They have perfected lip reading to a tee. Having full on silent convos while everyone else is just like “really?! AGAIN?” Example:

*Newt and Thomas silently talking, gesturing a fuckton with there faces*

Minho: *whispers to Brenda* I’m slowly figuring out that lil shucking language they got going on

Brenda: *whispers back* how?!

They started learning in the scorch, since they rarely got a moment alone they would silently talk strategy. Slowly but surely it turned into silent flirting in the safe haven so Newt will just mouth something and and Thomas will go OUTLOUD “NEWT. NOT HERE!!” “Tommy they don’t know what I’m saying remember??” “… oh yeah”

Before they got together they got into heated arguments and even got slightly physical, all jokes of course but they would shove eachother around and grabbing each others shirts to “emphasise their point” (GAYYYY 🫵🫵🫵🫵)

Another long yap session, expect more. Also new lil fic on working on but do not threat!! I bet on losing dogs chapter 4 IS COMING OUT SOON. And I may write a short lil spin off of Thomas’s worst flare moments in his pov if yall would enjoy that. And soon one of my moots requested a Jeff x reader fic I usually don’t write those but that will be out soon too!!

[justmeinadaze]

Take It Out On Me Part 20 (Steddie X Plus Size Reader)

Warnings: Daddy Steve/ Sir Eddie and Sub Fem Plus size reader, you aren't going to see a lot those dynamics in this chapter. She does refer to them by their titles occasionally but due to the situation refers to them by their names more than anything. There is SMUT of the fluffy slightly vanilla variety (I know its weird lol), FLUFF, they love each other and they're a family <3.

ANGST, sooooo much angst which if you read the last chapter you were prepared for (or if you know me lol), they do have dinner with his mom and they do talk about their abuse so a domestic abuse and child abuse trigger warning is in effect! They don't go into full details but hitting and bleeding is mentioned. Eddie talks about his abandonment and feeling replaced. There are feels but there is a peaceful resolution :). I wanted that for Eddie <3.

Word Count: 3983

“Baby, relax.”, Steve coos in a gentle tone as he comes up behind you to turn off the sink and collect you in his arms. 

You had been scurrying around the apartment doing busy work while Eddie finished getting ready. Tonight was the dinner with his mom at Wayne’s trailer and you were extremely nervous. 

“I’m trying. I’m just worried about him.”

“I know, honey. Everything’s going to be alright. Thanks to you he’s not doing this alone.”

You sigh as you lean into his embrace and rest your arms over his own. 

“I need you to make sure I don’t get arrested tonight because I swear to God, if she says one rude thing—”

“Ok, Rocky. Chill.”, he chuckles as he kisses your lips. 

“Alright, I’m ready.”, Eddie exhales heavily as he comes out of the bedroom and grabs his jacket. “Let’s get this over with.”

***

“How’s he doin’?”, Wayne asked as you helped him in the kitchen. 

The original plan was to have the meal outside so everyone wouldn’t feel so cramped but as if sensing the mood, a storm slowly creeped into Hawkins and began to pour as soon as you three made it into the trailer. The boys helped set up a table in the living room while you took the opportunity to catch up with Eddie’s uncle. 

“He’s been as okay as he can be. Definitely more clingy which I don’t mind. He had work the other day and asked if I could hang out with him during his shift.”

“Yeah… When he was a boy, after he moved in, he used to carry around this Wizard of Oz book like a safety blanket. I noticed after a while whenever he was nervous or anxious, he would bring it with him wherever he went and read it. I was honestly surprised when he left it here after he moved. Must have found a new thing to comfort him.”, he grinned as he patted your shoulder. 

“Is it still in his room?”

Wayne nodded as you excused yourself to go look, finding it by his dresser, and coming back to slip it in your purse. A knock on the door causes everyone to freeze as his uncle takes one last big breath and heads to open it. 

You quickly place yourself by Eddie’s side as he reaches out to hold your hand.

“Here we go.”

#################

His mother was a lot smaller than you imagined her being but your only frame of reference was the photo you had seen of her in his room with all the Munson’s together. She was a curvy woman and her short black hair accentuated the slight chipmunk plump of her cheeks. Her energy radiated the same softness that Eddie carried but you were still apprehensive especially after what she had done. 

As she entered the trailer and Wayne took her coat, Eddie remained still as his eyes constantly scanned her over. 

“Lynn, this is, um, Eddie’s best friend Steve Harrington.”

“You’re the other boy that had gotten hurt in the fire.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Thank you for saving him.”

Steve just nodded politely as Wayne gestured towards you. “This is their girlfriend, Y/N Y/L/N.”

“It’s nice to meet you.”

You followed Steve’s lead, choosing to nod as well without saying a word. 

When she made it to her son, both people were completely unsure on how to proceed. Testing the water, his mom extended her hand for him to shake and his reaction surprised you both as he slightly flinched, taking a step backwards away from her.

“The, uh, food is done. Steven, can you help me bring the last of it to the table here?”

Wayne knew better than to ask you. There was no way you were leaving Eddie’s side now that she was here. Once everything was placed and everyone was seated, his uncle handled the bulk of the conversation, making small talk where he could to cut the tension. 

“I see you’re still a wonderful cook, Wayne.”

“Hm. Thank you. Since I work overnight, I don’t get to cook as much as I’d like but…”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I was a night nurse for a while after I moved so it was a lot of microwave meals.”

“Oh? So, you, um, became a nurse?”

“I did. I had some experience with healing wounds…so…” Her head hung as her voice trailed off. “Um, how long have you guys been together?”, she asks as gestures towards you.

“A little over three years.”

“Well, that’s nice. Did you know each other in school?” 

When you only nod, Wayne tries to help again. 

“I think Ed told me he met Y/N junior year? Steve we’ve known for a while even though I don’t think you started coming over, son, till middle school.”

“Uh, yes sir. 7th grade I believe. It’s funny to think about since I came over to listen to music and watch movies but our tastes are so different.”

“Oh, the fact that he has some and you don’t?”, you tease as Steve smiles and sticks his tongue out at you.

“What kind of things are you into?”, she asks Eddie. The boy continues to glare at his plate as he moves food around with his fork.

“He’s taken Y/N here to a few concerts like Dio and Poison if I’m not mistaken.”

“My daughter is into heavy metal as well. My husband and I just bought her a drum set and she just…” She trailed off again when she noticed Eddie was finally looking at her. “You’d, um, you’d really get along with her.”

“Yeah? How old is she?”

“She just turned 9.”

“Huh. Sounds like her double digits are going to be WAY better than mine.”, the man sassed as he folded his arms and leaned back in his seat. “Just out of curiosity, how many more are there?”

“I have three with my current husband. My oldest is 9, my other daughter is 6, and my son…is 3.”

“Your oldest is actually 21 but I’m glad you were finally able to have another son. Now you can replace me entirely.”

She flinched at his words as your hand gripped his thigh. 

“I thought about you every day, Eddie.”, she whispered.

“Well, that’s good to know. While I was bleeding on the floor after the violent man you left me with knocked me out, it comforts me to know you didn’t forget about me.”, he growls before abruptly rising to his feet. “I need a minute.”

Nobody moves as he stomps towards his old bedroom and slams the door.

“Maybe this was a bad idea.”

“I mean, what did you expect, Lynn? You never came back for him like you said you would.”

“You told me you would take him, Wayne—”

“Don’t. Don’t push the blame on him.”, you warned. “The truth of the matter is you SAID you were coming back and you never did.”

“You don’t know what it was like…living with Allen…”

“You’re right. I don’t but thanks to you, your child does.”

You stand and Steve promptly trails after you as you carefully open Eddie’s door. Both of you found him sitting on his bed, smoking out the window like he used to when you three lived there. As you climbed in to sit beside him, his hand immediately shot out to stop you. 

“I wouldn’t get too close to me, sweetheart. I’m, uh, not all here.”, he lightly chuckles as his voice cracks.

Squaring your jaw in defiance, you climb in anyway and take his free hand in yours. 

“Like that’s going to stop me. I’m not afraid of you, Edward Munson.”

“You doing alright, dude?”, Steve asked as he sat on the edge of the mattress. 

“I’m, um, trying not to fall apart here. I really want to yell at her but I don’t…I don’t want her to think I’m like my dad.”

“Baby…”, you coo as you run your fingers through his hair. “You’re allowed to be angry. What she did wasn’t ok and you’re allowed to tell her that anyway you feel you need to.”

Eddie softly smiles as he tilts his head to kiss your lips and tosses his cigarette out the window. Taking your hand in his, the three of you leave his bedroom and back to the table where his mom and Wayne were still talking.

“—didn’t leave any kind of formal documentation for me to have him, Lynn. Did you really think Allen was just going to hand him over?”

“Why didn’t you come back?”, Eddie asked as soon as he sat down.

“I-I-I…your father was so aggressive. I couldn’t take it anymore, Eddie. I had to go—”

“I didn’t ask why you left. I asked why you didn’t come back. Even after he was arrested, you stayed away. Not even so much as a fucking postcard.”

She sighed as her eyes fell, trying to find the best way to answer his question. 

“Originally, I wanted to get things ready before you came to live with me. Eddie when I moved, those first few months I was practically making pennies as a waitress living in a studio apartment. I thought you would be better with Wayne. When I finally got settled, I guess that idea remained imprinted in my brain; that you would be happier with your uncle.”

The metalhead folded his arms across his chest as he glared at her. 

“Mom, I would have rather lived with you in a box on the street then anywhere with dad. You have no idea what he put me through.”

“I have some idea.”

“You. Have. No. Idea.”, he snarled. “I was a 10-year-old kid and you were a grown woman who knew what he would do to me if you left. Hell he hit me in front of you all the fucking time!”

“If I could go back in time and make a different decision I would! I don’t know what else I can say!”

“He doesn’t want you to say anything. He wants you to listen and understand.”, you cut in trying to be helpful.

“This is a family matter! I don’t know why you two are even here!”

“BECAUSE SHE IS MY FAMILY!”, Eddie roared causing his mother to lean back. “I love her. If I could marry her right now and give her my last name I would. She’s been there for me and actually sees me for me. To her I’m not ‘that Munson kid’. I’ve always just been Eddie.”

He gestures towards Steve. “This man is my best fucking friend and saved my life. Without him I wouldn’t even fucking be here. I love him like a brother and we take care of each other like we are.”

Eddie points past her towards his uncle. “Wayne took me in when YOU and Allen abandoned me. Even before you disappeared, I only ever felt safe with him. He’s raised me and not only taken care of me but these two as well when their parents abandoned them. Y/N’s lucky. Her parents admitted their mistakes and apologized for them. Steve and I don’t know what that’s fucking like. So, I guess the real point is, if this is a ‘family matter’ then you shouldn’t be here.”

Thunder clapped loudly as the power went out in the trailer.

“Shit. I don’t think anyone is going anywhere tonight. “, Wayne sighed. “Let’s, um, let’s call it a night yeah? Kids why don’t you take Eddie’s bedroom—”

“No. She can take my bedroom and we can sleep out here. If you still have that inflatable mattress.”, the man grumbled. 

***

You guys didn’t even need the mattress. Steve was the only one who was currently on it while you and Eddie were on the couch. He didn’t say much through the rest of the evening, just held you to his chest till you fell as sleep in his arms. As he sat there playing with your hair and gently caressing your legs, through the darkness in the living room he could just barely make out a figure headed for the front door. 

“You should have used my bedroom window. Lord knows I used that a bunch.”, he sighed as he used his lighter to light a candle near him, illuminating his mom’s face. 

“I, uh,…”

“No, no. I get it. I’ll tell them it was family emergency or something.”

Her eyes scanned him over softly as he continued to pet your hair behind your head. 

“She seems like a nice girl. Obviously loves you.”

“Yeah. She’s perfect…to me anyway.” His mother came around and took a seat on the other side of the sofa. “For that first year, I used to be terrified that she would leave me like you did. Now as I get older, sometimes I fear I’ll become like dad. Like there’s some dormant Munson gene that will snap into place at some point. Steve won’t say it out loud but I know he’s worried about the same thing…him becoming a prick like his father.”

“Eddie, you’re nothing like Allen.”

“Then why didn’t you come back for me?”

“Edward Munson, that had nothing to do with you. I swear on my life I never once thought you’d turn into him.”, she sighs as she leans back. “When you were a baby you always looked at me with these expressive eyes like you were taking in every little thing. Even when you got older… the night before I left, you gave me those same eyes but they were sadder. I felt like that was my fault. I brought you into this situation… he was hurting me and I was hurting you.”

“When I settled, I told myself I would send for you. Hell, I would even come and get you myself. When your grandma, my mom, told me Allen was arrested and you were with Wayne… that way you used to look at me flashed through my head. I thought ‘Maybe he’s better off with his uncle.”

“You could have sent me a letter at least or called…”

“I thought this was the best choice, Eddie. I genuinely did. I thought with me and your father out of your life now you can live yours to the fullest. I had no idea Allen had you alone after I left.”

Eddie nodded as he looked away, the gesture causing you to wake. You didn’t move or make any indication when you heard his mother’s voice.

“Eddie, I’m so sorry for what you went through. I really am. I’m not asking you to forgive me but whenever you’re ready I’d love to be a part of your life. Maybe you can come visit me…meet the kids.”

“Do they know about me?”

“Yeah and so does my husband. He’s, um, a bit of nerd but—” They both laugh and your heart explodes for him. “I’ll, um, let you get some sleep.” She pats his leg before standing and heading back towards his room. 

“Are you alright?”, you ask as you caress his face. 

“Hey. How long have you been awake?”

“Not long. What about you, Steve?”

“Jesus, woman. How did you know?”, the man rolls over to turn and face you both making you giggle. 

“I sleep beside you, remember? I know what you look like asleep.”

“Pfft. Yeah, she woke me up when I heard her shoes heading for the door.”

“So, us fucking doesn’t wake you up but my mom’s shoes did?”

“I’m on high alert, Munson. Like you said…” Steve sits up and pulls his knees to his bare chest. “We’re family. I don’t just protect her but you to, man.”

“Thanks, Harrington.”, Eddie smiles. “Yeah, baby, to answer your question. I’m alright.” 

You softly smile back at him when he kisses your forehead. 

“Come on. Let’s lay down.” Sliding off him, you take his hand and lead him down to the inflatable bed.

“You look really sexy in this by the way.”, he playfully whispers as he lightly tugs at the long, oversized shirt Wayne gave you to sleep in. After taking off his own shirt, he slid in beside you and Steve did the same. His uncle had had given them both shorts to sleep but the material was relatively flimsy. Both their cocks pressed against you and you couldn’t help licking your lips at the feeling. 

“Sir?” He answered you with a soft him as he pressed his nose to your cheek. “You can use me right now if you need to. I don’t mind. I know you’ve been through a lot today.” As you whisper your last sentence, his eyes open to look at yours, vaguely making them out in the dark. 

“You’ve already done a lot for me these past few days, sweetheart.”

“I know. I also know that when you both feel out of control…controlling me makes you feel better.” A heavy breath escapes his lips as your nose grazes his. “And you know I definitely don’t mind that.”

“You’d have to be very quiet, baby girl. We also know that when we fuck you rough like that you get loud.”, Steve tuts.

“I can be quiet, Daddy. I promise.”

“I don’t want to be rough. Not like that anyway…”

“Uh oh.” You place your palm on his forehead, feeling his smile stretch against your cheek. “Are you dying?”

Taking a hold of your wrist, he wraps your arm around his neck as his free hand pushes down his shorts to release his cock from their hold and you lift your leg, moaning lightly when he runs his mushroom tip along the fabric of your underwear blocking your core.

“Hey. When we first met you even you admitted sometimes you like it vanilla.”

“If there’s one thing you aren’t, baby, it’s vanilla.”, you cooed, repeating those words he said to you that first night back to him. 

Moving your underwear to the side, you both whimper as he slides into your entrance. His palm took hold of your thigh just below the back of your knee as he held it steady in the air. While he pumped into you at gentle but firm pace, he continually whispered things in your ear in a low, husky tone that had you clenching around him as you turned your head into the sound of his voice. 

“I love you, Y/N, so much. I love that you’re ours, baby. Fuck… not just because of how good this fucking pussy feels but because—mmm—you take care of us to. You love us for us. Tell me that you love me, princess.”

“I love you, Sir. Shit…just like that, baby, please.”

His hair brushes against your face as he shakes his head and thrusts his hips a bit harder into yours causing you to cling to the other boy’s wrist that was occasionally bumping into your side as he stroked his cock while he listened to you moan and whimper.

“Me… sweetheart. Tell me that you love me…please…”

You wished you could see his face better as you gripped his cheek and kissed his lips. Your thumb caressed along his features as you told him what he needed to hear. 

“I love you, Eddie Munson. Yes, baby. I belong to you, Eddie. It’s been a while since I’ve said that but I’ve never forgotten. Mmm! I’m yours. I’ll always be here for you. Always.” 

His breath warmed your face as he picked up his rhythm, hitting that spot inside of you that had you melting into him. Steve reached for your hand, running his tongue along your palm, and placed it around his length that throbbed in your grasp. You kissed his lips as the metalhead lightly bit into the area between your neck and shoulder, grunting when he felt your pussy flutter around him as you came.

Eddie clung to your body chasing his release until you mewled as he warmed your insides. The other boy quickly rose to his knees, stroking his cock till he came on your tummy. 

In the dark, he reached for your hand and both boys guided you into the bathroom. Just like old times, Steve hopped onto the counter while, Eddie got the shower started. Cupping his face in your hands, you leaned forward to tenderly kiss his lips. 

“I love you to, Steve Harrington. I’m yours and I’ll always be here for you.”, you whisper before he smiles and kisses you again. 

#############

“Hey Lynn. Good to see you’re still here.”, Wayne grinned sassily before handing her a cup of coffee.

She offers him a half smile and a polite thank you as she takes the cup from his hands. 

“Definitely a unique situation, huh?”, she asks as she gestures to where you three were sleeping. 

“I think what makes it more unique is that it’s genuine at such a young age. They’ve been really good for each other. When Steven started coming over, that’s when Eddie started getting out of his shell a bit more. Then they met Y/N and everything went up from there.”

“He said her parents were the only one to approve?”

“Not at first but after about a month they came around. Bill on the other hand…”

“Bill was always an asshole.”

“Yeah but I didn’t think he’d stoop so low as to call a young girl a whore who brainwashed his son.” He nodded when her eyes widened. “Oh, yeah. Don’t worry. Her father punched him in the face.”

“Good. Fuck him.” They both chuckled as they drank their beverages. 

After you guys woke up, Wayne made breakfast while casual conversation was made with Eddie telling his mother all things you three had done together like your trip to New York and the prom they had created for you. As the afternoon came to a close, Lynn had to leave and the metalhead walked her to her car while you and Steve hung back. 

“I’ll call you when I land and we can set up a time for you three to come visit.”, she grins.

Without a word, Eddie leans forward to hug her and you smile as you watch her circle her arms around him as she holds him tightly to her tiny frame.

***

“I stole this from your room.”, you announce as you hand the Wizard of Oz book to Eddie who was leaning outside of his window in your apartment smoking. “Your uncle said it was like your security blanket.”

“Shit. Yeah it was. I didn’t even realize I left it.

Steve came up behind you, taking you in his arms and resting his chin on your head as you leaned against him. 

“Why that book?”, he asked.

“It was the first book I remember my mother reading to me. It’s also the first time I remember my dad coming home drunk screaming about some mundane shit. It was nice being able to disappear into a fantasy land for a time. As I got older, I guess it just…made me feel safe.”

His eyes glance towards you both before flipping absently through the pages. 

“When my mom left I would read it to myself especially during those first six months. Allen was, uh, really ruthless.”

Eddie spent the rest of the evening opening up to you and Steve about what happened to him. When he finished, he seemed so much lighter as if a weight had been lifted from his chest. You made him dinner while they both played some fighting game on the expensive console they saved up for.  When we went to bed that night he held you tightly to his side while he played with your hair. 

“Y/N?” You answered with a soft hm to which he responded by tenderly kissing your forehead. “Thank you.”

###########

@manda-panda-monium @sherrylyn628 @eddiesguitarskills

@needylilgal022 @local-stoner-bitch @katethetank @strangerfreak

@sidthedollface2 @justanotheryn @pedropascalslilbaby

@marsupiooo @mandyjo8719 @bexreadstoomuch

@chelebelletx @perdopascalslilbaby @shayeddie @anaibis

@wroteclassicaly @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes

@siriuslysmoking @raptorbait529 @miarosso @micheledawn1975

@paleidiot @mrsjellymunson

[sadie-bug345]

the gang on a road trip :3

i love this request sm!! LETS GO👇

ponyboy:

i feel like he’d try to read but when they’re all in the stupid MINI VAN TOGETHER HE CANNOT GET PEACE

also like reading on a drive can kinda make you carsick

and pony seems the type to get carsick i’m sorry😭💀

BUT i myself get carsick so it’s not bullying🫶

anyways he’s probably chill until someone mentions playing some roadtrip game like I Spy or smth LMAO

he seems the type to get actually triggered and annoyed during that game cause people *cough* dally *cough* choose stupid stuff (more on this later🙏)

johnny:

probably sleep or smth low maintenance

i just feel like johnny doesn’t need constant attention to feel appreciated yk

anyways he’d also just seem the type to carry on a goofy convo throughout the drive

like just RANDOM and it lasts for like hours LMAOO

people probably voluntold him to sit in the middle seat 😔����

sodapop:

he the type of kid to yell the most random stuff out of context in the back of the bus😭😭😭

so that kinda translates to this

his brain goes like a billion miles per hour so if you aren’t steve or two bit chances are you don’t even know what they’re doing at this point

finds ANY source of entertainment

usually bothers darry with steve LMAOO

darry:

darry drives cause no one else is trusted😔

maybe lets steve drive cause who else is gonna take over at night🧐

DALLY? AW HELL NAH

anyways he drives and definitely gives the annoyed dad

like

”if someone kicks my seat ONE MORE TIME IM TURNING THIS CAR RIGHT BACK AROUND”

and then everyone’s good til dal loses a game of travel uno and punches his seat out of anger

and everyone goes quiet like 😟

and darry’s tweaking but ITS OK THEY STILL MAKE IT

dally:

rides shotgun

just a menace honestly

i feel like he dislikes being cooped up and bc of that he just is even more of a jerk

like pony thought itd be fun to play i spy and dally’s like “what a stupid game 🙄”

and then says “i see something….blue”

and everyone’s like “uhh the sky”

and just guessing EVERYTHING and dals like

“nope😼”

eventually he says “it’s the blood in everyone’s veins rn😀because blood is actually blue before it hits the air and oxidizes and then it turns red🤷‍♂️🥰”

and everyone’s like 😐

and he is just like “well last week pony had a bio test and he wouldn’t SHUT UP ABOUT THAT FACT SO”

two-bit:

honestly just doesn’t stop. talking.

which is ok cause my guy is funny ASF

BUT for people on their last thread like darry he’s just like 😤

anyways two is just making fun of EVERYTHING

like isn’t it funny that pony’s seatbelt still has the child lock on it

and that dally is getting found out for actually caring about what people talk about (ie the random fact he remembers pony talking abt)

honestly a blast

he suggests a lot of games and lowk destroys

steve:

just goofs off w soda CONSTANTLY

which is really funny

i feel like we underestimate how funny they are together

probably talks abt cars the majority of the way there to no one in particular LMAO

it’s ok cause when the curtis car inevitably breaks down halfway there he goes into

MECHANIC MODE

and saves the day🫶🥰💞

TYSM FOR REQUESTING!! my requests are opennn🫶🫶

[coryosprettiestgirl]

i’ll look after you

mentor!coriolanus snow x victor!fem!reader

content warning: talks of murder, hurt, comfort, mentions of blood

do not copy or post my work anywhere else.

coryo, coryo, coryo.

his name replayed in your mind like a prayer. you just wanted to see him. it was all you could think of right now. he was all you could think of right now.

your hands shook as you stare down at them and tears uncontrollably rolled down your cheeks. you were in shock. you had been dragged from the arena only moments ago and now you were stuck in a cold room with nothing but a dim chandelier and some capitol flags to decorate it.

upon hearing the door open, you jumped. in some ways it felt like you were still in the arena. this was one of them. you were constantly on edge, every little sound triggering your anxiety and a bone chilling shiver.

your eyes met the cerulean ones you had started to find comfort in and before you knew it, you were breaking down again. your legs buckled and you dropped onto your knees as sobs wracked your body.

“hey hey hey,” he panicked as he jogged over to kneel beside you. “just breathe, angel. you’re okay. you’re safe now.”

he took your face in his gentle hands, cupping your cheeks and tilting your head up so you could look at him. seeing your teary eyes lack their usual glimmer he began to love was almost making his own start to water. “i—i can’t,” you stammered.

his thumb swept back and forth across your cheekbone as he leaned up to press a soft kiss to your forehead. “yes you can, sweetheart. take a deep breathe. can you do that for me, honey?” he placed his hands on your cheeks again, redirecting your gaze so it was on him once more. “breathe with me.”

your eyes watched his closely through the thick tears, inhaling with him and slowly exhaling in sync. you did this three more times to allow your breathing to slow.

he gave you a soft smile. “see? you did so well for me, angel.” his hands lowered to hold your smaller ones in his. “c’mon. lets get you on your feet.”

he stood up himself and dragged you up just seconds after. you were immediately wrapping your arms around his neck and hiding your face in the crook of his neck against his red blazer.

“its okay, angel. i’ve got you,” he whispered softly as he wrapped his arms around your waist while his hand rubbed circles over your back. “you’re safe with me. ‘m not gonna let them touch you ever again.”

���i killed them, coryo,” you mumbled sadly. “i’m a murderer.”

you could feel him shake his head. “no. no, you’re not a murderer,” he affirmed, holding you a little tighter now. “you were protecting yourself. you did what you were told, sweetheart. and i’m so proud of you.”

his heart broke at the sobs that escaped your lips. “the water. i thought—i thought maybe coral or—or someone else in that group would drink it,” you cried. “i didn’t mean for it to be dill. i didn’t want it to be her.”

he pulled away from you to add just a few inches between your bodies so he could look at you properly. “i know, honey, i know,” he frowned. “but that wasn’t your fault. you couldn’t control who drank that water. and besides, you helped her. you saved her from the snakes. she died a much less painful death.”

“coryo,” you whimpered. the pain in your chest wasn’t from physical pain, just the guilt that hung heavy. “i’m so sorry.”

he immediately began to shake his head. “you don’t need to apologize for anything. you did nothing wrong,” he assured softly. “i trust that highbottom told you what i did.” you nodded to confirm his assumption. “we all do things we aren’t proud of. but we did it to protect ourselves, right? you can’t blame this on yourself.”

deep down, you knew he was right. it was do or die in that arena. kill or be killed. you can’t dwell on something you can’t change. “did you get your prize money?” you asked sheepishly.

he smiled sadly at you and kissed your forehead. “no,” he muttered under his breath. “and thats okay. as long as you’re safe.”

you sighed and let your eyes trail down to the ground by your feet. “thank you for mentoring me, coryo. for protecting me in there.”

his pointer finger and thumb gently grasped the tip of your chin and lifted it before you felt his soft plush lips on yours and his hands on your waist.

your body froze for a moment, melting and becoming completely pliant in his embrace. you smiled into the kiss and brought your hands up to gently tug at his blonde curls by his neck.

and when you two did finally pull away due to the lack of air, you shared a dopey smile. “i’m glad it was you, sweetheart. i couldn’t imagine it being anyone else,” he said before pulling your body closer into his and pressing his lips to yours again.

[sparrowrye]

Alastor x Fem! Reader {soulmates} Part 12

Synopsis: soulmate AU where you have the same mark on your body as your soulmate, and if your soulmate dies, you die too. Alastor needs to make sure that his soulmate is safe so he can continue his reign - whatever that takes. Though it looks like we have a couple secrets of our own.

Previous part

Part 12: bad memories

TRIGGER WARNING: strong mentions of sexual assault

Author’s note:

The next few chapters might be a bit dark but they have to be in order to move the story in the direction I want. I’ll be writing a summary in the footnote for anyone who wants to skip this part. Keep in mind, I’m writing this story for myself as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I started taking my magic training into my own hands.

When Alastor was busy doing one of his many radio broadcasts, I was in the library searching through the various books. Husker sat on the window seat with a bottle of alcohol, listening to my random mumbles. I wasn't really talking to him but every now and then he made a comment to kickstart my thoughts again.

I had books laid out on all the tables and chairs. Surely this shouldn't be hard to figure out and Husker had to have some insight to it. So I started with something simple: turning water into ice. I read the books on water magic and read about some of the science behind it. Water molecules start to move slower and stick together. So it was just very condensed water.

Husker watched me fail the first time and splash water on myself. I casted a cup on him and he jumped from his seat with a hiss and hair sticking up. The second time I half succeeded. The water in the cup solidified into water for a moment before instantly melting. I tried a few more times until it stayed as ice without melting.

I put the cup down and tried something different. I casted the water out of the glass and twirled it into a constantly moving ball of water in my palm. I already knew how to control water from my fighting days so this part wasn't hard. I cupped my hand over the moving ball and imagined it slowing down until it was a frozen cluster. I felt it weigh down on my hand but forced myself to focus until I was sure that it had turned completely into ice.

Pulling my hand back, I revealed a perfect sphere of ice.

"Nice job," Husker congratulated in his own grumpy way. This felt like the first big step as the rest of my experiments started to work on the second try. I combined water and fire to create steam and filled the room with it, quickly sending it out the window before it ruined the books. Telekinesis was my next easy experiment.

I could draw the curtains and slam the doors like Alastor did. I could move chairs and tables around and put books back on their shelf. I laughed as I put the library back to its original state, paper and books flying past me. They all slid back into place and I planted my hands on my hips. I had done it.

"Impressive."

I bristled at Alastor's voice, turning to face the Radio Demon with a scowl. I noticed the fowl aura of hatred coming from Husker. Picking up on emotions became easy thanks to my keen sense of smell. Alastor remained a concrete wall.

"Rosie will be arriving shortly. I thought you might want to actually prepare yourself this time."

I crossed my arms. "I'm always prepared to deal with you so I think I will be alright."

His cold presence ran down my spine and I shivered. "Are you so sure?"

I raised my body temperature and pushed back against him. His eyes narrowed at me despite my inability to remove him completely from my mind. Our shadows growled at each other on the wall.

During the session with Rosie, she taught me to build another shield outside the one I already had. Once I had built two new shields, she attempted to push through. At first it was easy to keep her away but then she grew more aggressive. I was shocked at the sudden aggression from the sweet lady, my shields wavering but never falling. My fear had only reinforced the shields more.

"Outstanding!" she said at last, clapping her hands. I was out of breath as I clung to the seat. These sessions always left me so tired and ragged. Though it made me feel better when I saw her dab at her forehead with a handkerchief. "Now, take a quick break before we start the next thing. Get some fresh air, dearie."

I was expecting to be done for the day. When she didn't take her eyes off me I took that as my cue to leave the room. I had just barely closed the door when I heard her say something softly to Alastor. My nerves went through the roof.

Husker stood outside the kitchen door with me. The snow was starting to melt away, revealing little patches of grass here and there. The sun was setting into the ocean, casting a gently orange glow against the house.

"You'll be fine. You've managed through everything else so far," Husker tried to reassure me. My nerves seemed to only worsen with every passing minute. I kept fiddling with my claws and tapping my tail on the ground.

Eventually, Rosie called me in. The chairs had been pulled close again and a pitcher of water sat on a table nearby. Alastor waited patiently in one of the chairs, hands folded properly in his lap. His smile didn't seem genuine as Rosie led me to one of the chairs.

"Now dear, we're going to go through one of your more difficult memories. I want you to practice pulling yourself out of a memory when you're afraid. You'll have to learn to control your emotions to pull yourself out. Do you think you can do that?"

I nodded and swallowed hard. I wondered why Alastor was sitting close to me but then I remembered that he had been the one to pull me out of the dark memory of Striker that fateful day.

"Pick one of your worst memories."

I took a slow, deep breath and closed my eyes. I fell into my memories with my various shields still in place. I was only watching the memory, not partaking in it. I tried to keep my heart from speeding up too much as the memory unfolded.

My hardest fight yet was against an adult. They had a crazed look on their face, a look of fear, desperation, starvation, and a lack of humanity. He acted like an animal as he chased after me in the ring. He broke my wrist and leg before I managed to dig my fingers into his eye sockets and end his life with a punch to the throat.

Something sweet filled my nose but I didn't pay it any attention.

Striker yelled and lectured me as I had my wrist and leg wrapped by the healer. He had a heavy, painful grip on my shoulder as he led me back to my cage. He slammed the cage door shut and stormed out. Not too long after, someone else opened my cage door.

They slammed something into my face, momentarily shocking me. I came to as they strapped a magic-reducing helmet to my head. The dark figure loomed over and started grabbing at me. I screamed for help but he stuffed a gag into my mouth.

"Come out of it, sweetheart." Rosie called.

I tried to relax but the panic was too much. I didn’t recognize this memory. Was it another attack?

I fought against them but my injuries made it nearly impossible. Tears streamed down at my face as I screamed my throat hoarse. I raked my nails down any inch of skin I could find.

"Sweetheart, now. You have to come out."

The corners of the room grew dark until I was staring at nothing but the man's face. I reached for his eyes many times but he kept pushing them away. I choked on the helplessness and fear until everything around me was pitch black.

I was standing now. Someone was calling for me but it was faint, too faint. I looked around at the darkness. I spun around in circles, strangely calm, and stared at nothing. I was just here. Existing, but not. Was I still in my mind? Surely I had to be.

A cold feather brushed against my cheek. I turned but there was no one there. It happened again but on my neck. It spread from there, reaching into my brain and down through my entire body. I was freezing all of a sudden. There was nothing to keep me warm so I wrapped my arms around myself.

Then I sensed three presences. I recognized Husker's first. It was warm and calm, but a hint of panic. Why was he panicking? What was wrong?

Next I recognized Alastor's. He was inside my head unlike Husker who was surrounding my body.

Then I recognized Rosie's presence. Hers was kind but firm. She also seemed to be panicked. Why was everyone panicking? Was something happening?

The black environment turned red as anger filled my chest. I was furious. I don't know what at but I needed to release it. I wanted to claw something, to kill someone. I wanted to slice someone's throat who caused people nothing but harm. They deserved to leave this world and being thrown into Hell to be eaten by the Demons who lived there.

I felt someone pulling on me. My legs slid out from under me and I was lying on my back, still angry. Then the anger slipped from my fingertips, quickly replaced by fear. The man's face appeared out of the red wall and I found myself trapped under him again. I choked on my fear and gag as I fought him. I tried throwing my weight around but he was far too heavy. I felt him bite down on my neck.

Not this. Not this. Not this. Not this. Please! NOT THIS!

I recognized the memory.

I grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled it hard. He yelled as I dug my fingers into his eyes like my previous opponent. He grabbed both wrists and slammed them hard into the cage floor. My legs weren't working. Why wouldn't they work?

"Come out of it," I heard Husker yell.

"Sweetheart it's a memory. It's not actually happening," Rosie said.

I cried as the memory continued. I bit down on the man's hand but he just pulled my hands further away from my face. I tried curling in on myself but it did nothing. His other hand moved roughly over my skin as I screamed into the gag.

I felt Alastor's presence come from behind me. I squeezed my eyes shut and dipped into my mindscape. "Alastor!" I yelled as the memory dragged me back through my shields. I felt his presence wrap around my head and saw nothing but red. It felt like a string was being pulled out of my ear as he pushed me into the safety of my shields.

"You're safe. Come out of your head," he instructed.

I closed my eyes, pushing away the forbidden memory, and opened my eyes to the library. All three of them were surrounding me, staring down with panic-stricken faces. Alastor opened his eyes and took his hand from my forehead. His eyebrows were the only thing that told me he was upset.

Husker pulled me up to a sitting position as Rosie practically shoved a glass of water down my throat. I took several moments to catch my breath, the two of them trying to help calm me. I stared at the carpet and tried to think of anything other than that horrid memory. I didn’t know I even had that memory.

"You're back, and you're safe," Husker said, holding out his paw. I took it and let him help me into a chair. I leaned back into the seat and looked around at the dark library. I was back in the house. I was safe. Relatively.

"What happened?" I asked, still out of breath.

"You visited a...terrible memory that you couldn't pull out of," Rosie answered. "I was expecting you to use the same memory as last time. I wasn't expecting that."

"I didn't...that wasn't...that was a memory I had blocked away. I've never...I haven't been able to remember that night in years...so...why could I this time?"

Rosie went quiet and looked over at Alastor. He stood staring out one of the windows with his arms folded behind him. When enough silence had passed, he finally turned to look at me. "We used the same drug that was used on you the night it first happened."

"What?” My voice bounced off the walls. “What drug?“

"You had a small amount that night," he walked over to us, "It's a common drug used by a certain Demon to control their victims." He paused. "We thought you might be ready for another dose, but I can see we were mistaken. We rushed the process."

"Did..." I slowly looked over at Rosie, "did everyone...see it? The memory?"

"I'm afraid so, darling. We had to when we tried to pull you back out."

I lowered my head to stare at the floor. My clawed feet were just as black as before. If I had this side of me my whole life, I could've avoided it. I could've saved myself. Instead, here I was learning mind magic and revealing everything to three random Demons.

My throat tightened and tears started to well in my eyes. I abruptly left the room. I went to my bedroom, locked the door, then into the bathroom and locked that one too. I curled up in the corner of the room between the bathtub and the shower...and broke down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s summary:

Reader attempts mind magic again. When she visits a difficult memory, Alastor holds a memory-controlling-drug up to her nose. This creates more of a challenge for her and ends up sending her into a memory she had blocked away. She barely manages to pull herself out, if it wasn’t for Alastor and the others helping.

[pink-sparkly-witch]

The One That Got Away - Prologue

Prologue

Warnings: tw: house fire, tw: child abuse, tw: physical abuse, tw: verbal abuse, tw: mentions of underage sex (Dean and reader are 17), flashbacks, nightmares, angst, fluff, Dean being all cute, language.

Words: 1.7k

Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x Female Reader

A/N: There are TRIGGER WARNINGS in this part - please heed these, and if you think you’ll be affected by any of them, please do not read. I didn't have a beta for this, so all mistakes are mine.

A/N2: This has been a labour of love that took two years to complete. It has my blood, sweat, and tears (literally!) in it. I'm incredibly pround of this one, and I'm both nervous and excitied to share it with you all. I hope you enjoy reading it! 💖

My Masterlist     AO3    Ko-Fi

Y/N woke to see grey smoke swirling above her head, and it was hot… too hot. Climbing from her bed, she runs to the door and reaches for the handle, but it burns her hand, and she cries. She hears voices in the hallway just before she hears Daddy yell: “Y/N! Get away from the door!”

She runs back to her bed, trembling with fear as the door crashes open. She sees Daddy but is too scared to move. An orange glow surrounds him, and the heat and smoke are unbearable.

“Come here, pumpkin. I need you to be a big, brave girl, okay,” Daddy shouts over the inferno. Y/N sobs but nods her head and carefully goes to him. He picks her up and covers her head with a wet towel.

She can see nothing but hears everything; roaring flames, crackling wood, and her mommy screaming at her daddy: “Hurry! Get Y/N out! You need to get her out! Get my baby out of here!”

Y/N’s body shakes as Daddy runs downstairs with her in his arms. The front door opens, and she has never been so happy to breathe.

Sirens are blaring all around her, and she sees the fire truck lights flashing through the makeshift hood wrapped around her head.

“Danny?” Uncle Bobby yells over the noise. “Is Y/N okay? Where’s Caroline?”

“Y/N’s fine, I’ve got her, but Caroline’s still inside. Bobby, take her,” Daddy says, handing her over to him. “I need to go back in and—”

“No! It’s too dangerous! Help is here. Where is she?”

“Bedroom. I- I don’t even know what happ–ˮ

The loudest noise she’s ever heard suddenly booms around her and shakes the ground. She screams and curls further into Uncle Bobby as breaking glass and what sounds like a lion’s roar fill the air. The makeshift hood falls from Y/N’s face as Uncle Bobby spins and drops to his knees, curling his body over hers.

And then she hears Daddy scream…

Waking with a gasp and a start, it took Y/N a minute to process where she was.

“Hey, hey, shh… it’s okay. I gotcha, it’s just a bad dream,” Dean’s honey-smooth voice murmured in her ear, and she turned her head to look at him.

“Sorry, De,” she grumbled and snuggled further into his chest.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked as he pressed his lips to the top of her head and gently trailed his fingers up and down her arm. She took a minute to sort through her thoughts. It’d been a while since she’d had that nightmare.

“No, I’m okay,” she finally answered her boyfriend.

“The fire?” Dean murmured as he placed another kiss on the crown of her head. Y/N nodded but stayed silent. She didn’t know what to say. Her dreams constantly replayed this memory when she was scared or under pressure. If she considered her father’s latest drunk and disorderly, the impending SATs and college acceptance letters, she knew it was only a matter of time before it reared its ugly head again.

“Does this have anything to do with the college letters that came this morning?” Dean asked gently.

To the outside world, she lived with the Winchesters. Their house was her registered address for school, medical appointments, the DMV, and her savings account with the bank. All her mail came here, so her father didn’t interfere. Not that she got much anyway, she was only seventeen, but she did get mail from the bank and, more recently, a few college letters.

She was in big trouble if her father even caught a whisper of her leaving for college. “It’s…” she sighed and took a few seconds before speaking again. “It’s a lot of things. My father, SATs, college. I’m not surprised it came back now.”

“Have you opened the letters yet?” he asked quietly.

“No,” she responded, lowering her head to his shoulder.

“Why not?” Dean placed two fingers under her chin, gently forcing her gaze back to the candy-apple green eyes she fell in love with years ago.

“I’m scared, De,” she admitted.

Dean shifts on the bed and turns on his side to look at her. “What are you scared of, baby?”

“Everything. I’m scared that I didn’t get in, and I’m scared that I did. I’m scared to leave home but even more scared to stay. But most of all, I’m scared of going through all this without you,” she confessed.

“You have to do what’s right for you, Y/N/N. And if that means leaving, then you need to leave. The selfish part of me wants you to stay and go to the University of Kansas, but at the same time, I’ll be so pissed if I’m the reason you stay here.”

“Dean…”

“Princess,” he interrupted her. “I love you, and I know you love me. I understand that you want to leave, trust me. I can’t bear seeing him hurt you. The bruises…” Dean reached out to her neck, and his fingers ghosted over the fading fingerprint blemishes dotting her skin. He huffed a breath, trying to keep his emotions in check.

“He could’ve killed you, Y/N. I’d rather watch you leave and know you’re safe than watch you be buried at the hands of that monster.” A tear slipped down his cheek, and she reached out and gently wiped it away.

“I know if any of those letters are an acceptance, you’re leaving Kansas. I’ve always known that. And I know us breaking up is the best thing, but fuck, it sucks,” his hand curled around the back of her neck, and he leaned in to kiss her forehead.

“I know, De,” she whispered. “But I’d rather we walked away on our terms than have our hearts broken from hundreds of miles away. What if you meet someone else?”

“Wouldn’t happen,” Dean said adamantly.

“You don’t know that!” Y/N chuckled; the bittersweet tone in it was hard to hide. “It’s four years, Dean. Minimum. What if one of us is in a bar or at a party and the temptation is too much? Or we’re too drunk to realise what we’re doing?” she tried to reason. “And it’s not that I don’t trust you, De. I trust you with my life. But that doesn’t mean we won’t do something stupid that we regret later. It’s better this way than…”

“One of us getting that phone call. I know, sweetheart,” Dean sighed.

The intensity of Dean’s gaze filled her with overwhelming sadness, and she couldn't stand it, so she glanced at his alarm clock to avoid it. As she realised the time, fear rippled through her. “Shit! I need to go.”

Y/N flew off the bed and stumbled, trying to put on her shoes. “Dad might actually kill me this time if I miss curfew again,” she tried to lighten the atmosphere by adding a chuckle. Dean responded with a small smile, but they both knew the truth in her statement.

SIX MONTHS LATER

Everything Y/N owned is squeezed into her beat-up Mustang. Uncle Bobby, John, and Dean had worked on the car for hours to make it road safe and ready for its 600 mile trip. All summer, she’d worked all the hours she could at the diner, saving every penny for her new life in Chicago.

All four colleges she’d applied to had sent acceptance letters, but the University of Illinois offered her a full scholarship which she just couldn’t pass up. Her savings and paychecks had bought her a car and would’ve been enough to provide the first few semesters of tuition fees, but being able to use that money to get a decent head start in a new city and not have to worry about the rest of her tuition, was a huge relief.

As she packed up the last of her belongings with Uncle Bobby and Jody, she thanked her lucky stars that her father had been picked up for being drunk and disorderly again last night. Of course, Jody had conveniently ‘misplaced’ her father’s paperwork, so he wouldn’t be released until she went back to the precinct, and by then, she’d be on the freeway. And by the time he realised she hadn’t come home at curfew, she’d be about to leave Missouri.

Y/N owed Jody so much and knew she’d never be able to repay the older woman. Jody had always looked out for her and always had Y/N’s back. It certainly hadn’t been the first time the Sheriff had left her father in a cell overnight to give her some respite from dealing with his drunkenness.

When she told Uncle Bobby she had no intention of returning to Lawrence until her father was gone, he and Jody booked a slot at City Hall to get married and asked her and Dean to be their witnesses. Y/N was delighted to be able to share their special day with them.

Saying goodbye to them was hard, but her goodbye with Dean last night had been so much worse. As she pulled out onto the main road that led out of town, she sighed deeply as her memory flashed back to last night.

Y/N and Dean had spent the whole night together, their true feelings escaping them in the throes of passion. It wasn’t their first time together, but it was the most special, closely followed by the time they took each other’s virginity when they were both sixteen.

Her feelings for Dean ran deep. He’d always owned her heart, and after a night of raw, emotional lovemaking, she knew he always would. Who knew? Maybe one day she’d come back to Lawrence, come back to him. But it wasn’t fair for either of them to live on a maybe.

“Ask me to stay,” Y/N whispered in the darkness of her bedroom. Both of them naked, sweating, and basking in their afterglows.

“You know I can’t do that, Princess. I want to, but I can’t,” he responded, his voice cracking with emotion before he kissed her bare shoulder. Her lip trembled, but she swallowed her tears and rolled over to straddle his waist.

“Then make love to me again, Dean.”

She wiped a tear from her cheek and grinned wildly at the road sign despite her sad emotions. 

“YOU ARE NOW LEAVING LAWRENCE”

Next Chapter >>

Tag List: @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @leigh70 @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27 @candy-coated-misery0731 @iprobablyshipit91 @twinkleinadiamondsky @mrsjenniferwinchester @spnwoman @snackles87 @perpetualabsurdity @hoboal87 @synmorite @nancymcl @trannydean @nic-kolas @jc-winchester @winchestergirl1720 @globetrotter28 @nelachu2423 @kayleighmeister @venicesem @ladysparkles78 @roseblue373

[nayatarot777]

messages to remember over this holiday period • pick-a-card

merry christmas y’all 🎄💗

• pile one •

you might be either forced to be around people (presumably family or just close people) who have done you wrong. spirit is asking you to trust that they’ll receive their karma - because what comes around goes around fr. these mfs have karma that’s on its way like an amazon prime package, okay? it’s coming. quickly. spirit is suggesting that you try to blind yourself to their pain. especially if they’re talking mad shit to you with their snide ass remarks or nitpicking over this christmas? trust that you have nothing to fear. try to blind yourself to the pain and the fear that these people want you so badly to feel. it might be difficult but it’s in your best interest this christmas because people could really be trying you at that fucking dinner table. being nonchalant and acting oblivious to their remarks is part of their karma.

significant numbers: 26, 13, 25

astrological signs/placements: jupiter/sagittarius, saturn/capricorn, scorpio/pluto, leo/sun

patreon

website

• pile two •

this might be a specific message for someone, but there’s someone who feels trapped in a relationship/marriage that you’re going to be around this christmas. this person needs your natural energy, so try to give them some of that. a lot of care. this could even be your mother. through your conversations with this person, they’ll find something enlightening that brings them one step closer to taking back their control from someone who’s keeping them tethered to them. the seed will be planted.

for others of you, i’m seeing that spirit is saying that your family may need you right now. even if you don’t spend the entirety of the christmas period with them, make sure that you’re making time for them. don’t keep yourself just tethered to your partner around this time. this partner may be somewhat controlling. don’t allow them to isolate you from people within your family. i’m seeing specifically for some of you that this is a younger sibling or multiple siblings around you that would like to see you.

over this holiday, you’re going to be releasing yourself from some type of control that someone or something has over you.

significant numbers: 44, 21, 27

astrological signs/placements: pluto in 12th house, taurus in a water house/water planets in taurus, libra/7th house placements (perhaps pluto in 7th or scorpio in 7th house) - check your astrological transits for your birth chart. that could give you extra messages.

patreon

website

• pile three •

there may be some clear signs about someone or some people around you that you’ve been picking up on for a while now. this christmas period is bringing you a lot of confirmation on what you’ve been noticing about them in the past. perhaps particularly about someone who has a very cold and unsympathetic energy. perhaps someone who’s constantly angry too. watch out for this person picking arguments as a way to try to ruin people’s holiday with their bs.

there’s also a message to not feel guilty or bad about feeling however tf you feel about these people. or about the holidays in general. whether this is wanting to be left alone or holding someone accountable for something. it could be anything tbh.

there may be a transmutation of your anger throughout this holiday period. i’m not sure into what exactly but whatever it is, it’s going to be used to direct yourself onto the right path within something. there may be triggers coming up but you can turn these things into motivation.

significant numbers: 4, 22, 34

astrological signs/placements: heavy scorpio placements, aries/mars, pisces/12th house placements, pluto in 12th house

patreon

website

[baddestbittyontheblock]

wanda maximoff fic recs (2)

you are responsible for the content you consume‼️

⑅୨୧* sorority!wanda blurb wanda maximoff x reader | fluff

-sorority!wanda being a mean girl in front of everyone but being the softest girlfriend ever in private?

⑅୨୧* four-eyes wanda maximoff x reader | fluff, mentions of violence

-Having just ran out of contacts, Y/n has to resort to wearing glasses around the compound for the time being. Knowing she’d get teased by her loving teammates, she wasn’t looking forward to it. But her girlfriend, Wanda, might feel differently.

⑅୨୧* dreaming of you wanda maximoff x reader | minors dni! angst with happy ending, some fluff, college au!wanda maximoff x reader, artist!reader, wanda is in love, cheating, mentions of drinking, toxic boyfriend named tyler bc i didn’t know what else to name him, one smut scene; top!wanda, bottom!reader, oral and fingering (r receiving), praise kink

-while being constantly ignored by your boyfriend, wanda decides to keep you company for the night and eventually, for the rest of the weeks that follow, wanting more than just sex with you and vows to show you the kind of love you truly deserve.

⑅୨୧* are you a devil or an angel? wanda maximoff x reader | 18+!!! smut, mommy wanda, d/s, strap-ons, ass groping, halloween costumes w short skirts, degradation kind of

-kitchen strap-on sex on halloween

⑅୨୧* ITS BRIGHTER NOW wanda maximoff x reader | mentions of battle, injury, anxiety, overall just fluff and comfort for arguably the best avengers and their girlfriend

-until you met your girls, you once believed love would be burning red, but it turns out, it’s everything in between, and that couldn’t be more golden. i wanna be defined by the things that i love, not the things i hate, not the things that i’m afraid of, not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night, i just think that you are what you love

⑅୨୧* off limits wanda maximoff x fem!reader | minors dni please. college au!, fuckgirl!sorority president!wanda, dom!wanda, jealousy, possessiveness, bottom!reader, smut! – mirror sex, semi-public sex, overstimulation, fingering, marking/hickeys

-wanda hates the way everyone is ogling at you, and makes sure to remind everyone that you are, very much, off limits.

⑅୨୧* kept and wanted wanda maximoff x reader | 18+, minors DNI; smut; fingering (r giving); lowkey Wanda manipulating the situation because she got everyone out of the house?; pet names (good girl, sweetheart, baby); semi-clothed sex; good gay lap sits; probably other things that I'm forgetting rn but literally just.. more of my sorority!AU stuff

-Wanda heard of your crush, but you never acted on it. That was fine until she saw you talking to other girls, then it became her job to take you away before anyone else could.

⑅୨୧* morning grumpy witch wanda maximoff x reader | all fluff with Avengers being a family and Wanda being a simp.

-The one where moody Emo!Wanda has a bad morning, but luckily, she also has a soft spot saved for her girlfriend.

⑅୨୧* it's our party sorority!wanda maximoff x reader | swear words, mentions of alcohol, and slight angst

-sorority president Wanda Maximoff, who you also happen to have a huge crush on, invites you to the biggest party of the year. What could possibly go wrong?

⑅୨୧* under the sky of glass protective!wanda maximoff x reader | The reader has a panic attack, so tw for those who are triggered by panic attacks.

⑅୨୧* mayday wanda maximoff x reader

-You and Wanda are paired on a mission and it ends a little sideways.

⑅୨୧* between the sheets wanda maximoff x fem!reader | smut

-Having a little 'alone time' while your roommate was at work seemed like a great way to relieve some stress. What could go wrong?

⑅୨୧* envy in your eyes wanda maximoff x fem!reader | hurt/comfort, angst, happy ending

-wanda has been distant lately and you don’t know why. One day, you attend a gala in place of your colleague and find her with Vision. What does it all mean? 

⑅୨୧* ashes of absolution wanda maximoff x witch!reader | murder, descriptions of people burning and dying and blood, praise, foreplay (finger stuff), this is set way back when so no modern times here, established relationship.

-there's no line wanda wouldn’t cross to protect you.

⑅୨୧* love language wanda maximoff x fem!civilianreader | just some fluff. Mentions of hearing loss and sign languages.

-After Thanos, Wanda retires, along with a long term effect from all the missions she had and then she met you.

⑅୨୧* maybe you were the ocean wanda maximoff x gn!reader | heavy angst, character death, bittersweet ending

-wanda was... an open-ended chapter in your life.

⑅୨୧* sweetheart wanda maximoff x fem!reader | minors dni. smut!!, bit of angst?, kinda fluffy towards the end, milf!wanda, mommy!dom!wanda, babysitter!reader, bottom!reader, unspecified age gap, jealousy, mommy kink, fingering (r! receiving), multiple orgasms, mutual pining.

-constant stress had filled the gaps in wanda’s life after her ex-husband left the family and balancing work and her kids had started to take a toll on her. in search of relief, wanda hires you as a babysitter, not knowing she’d be falling for you.

⑅୨୧* mess is mine milf!wanda maximoff x reader | language, brief smut, divorced ladies who are very still much in love with each other, unspecified age gap, marriage going wrong, hopeful ending, mild angst, fluff

-being divorced from wanda maximoff implies never getting over her.

⑅୨୧* a beautiful mess wanda maximoff x f!reader | college AU; Nat x Yelena x Sibling!R Wanda is a bit of a Fuckboy, aka, Angst -> Fluff | Themes of Insecurity | Violence/Injury, smut

-Wanda is a bit of a Fuckboy

⑅୨୧* fear, hope and guilt wanda maximoff x reader | angst

-wanda finds out that you're pregnant in the hospital while you fight for your life.

⑅୨୧* edge of the pool milf!neighbor!wanda x fem!reader | SMUT, MINORS DNI. age gap, pool sex, semi-public sex? i mean it's in Wanda's backyard?, fingering, oral, choking, mommy kink, strap-on.

-you moved into a nice neighborhood during the winter. Ms. Maximoff, your neighbor, has recently had a pool installed.

⑅୨୧* don't keep to yourself wanda maximoff x reader

-wanda is still scared of her powers and being close to reader but reader isn’t scared at all and kisses her hands to prove it (like vision does) and make it so fluffy please

⑅୨୧* the world won't stop for us wanda maximoff x reader

-wanda and reader waking up on the morning they have to go to wakanda (during infinity war). neither of them are eager get out of bed.

⑅୨୧* the world won’t stop for us; part two wanda maximoff x reader | blood, r is stabbed, death (tony and natasha), cursing, 1.4k

-getting blipped back was, without a doubt, the most disorienting thing you had ever experienced. one minute you had turned to dust, holding onto wanda - who had started turning to dust moments after you had - as if it would keep you there. the next, you were brought back, sitting on the same ground in wakanda with wanda, except vision’s body was gone, and the seasons had changed.   part one

⑅୨୧* not now, not ever wanda maximoff x reader | blood, R was stabbed, cursing, 2.1k

-reader and wanda spend a month on a mission together, going from hotel room to hotel room and sleeping in the same bed. reader gets hurt because she does something stupid and wanda is mad at her, but they have a hard time staying away from each other.

⑅୨୧* so scarlett it was wanda maximoff x reader

-wanda was the most intriguing girl you ever met. and she liked you, but people always leave.

⑅୨୧* you make a great fake girlfriend wanda maximoff x reader | language, sexual situations? (no smut tho), casual drinking

-“agent Y/l/n, mr. rogers and ms. romanoff have requested your presence in the office.”

⑅୨୧* (she will always be) a broken girl wanda x fem!reader | lots of cursing, smoking, drinking, very brief mentions of smut, mentions of physical parental abuse, mentions of homophobia, angst, fluff, 14k

-life away from home is good, and you're studying at the college of your dreams; however, your new neighbor is loud, irritating and a person who doesn't respect boundaries. and, also, is your ex-girlfriend from high school, wanda maximoff.

⑅୨୧* feud wanda maximoff x reader | some domestic fluff, 1k

-“I thought you loved me, Wanda.”

⑅୨୧* bulletproof (4/10) wanda maximoff x gn!reader | 2.6k+, light angst, mutual pining, unresolved sexual tension, enemies to lovers to enemies, gay disasters

-there's a new recruit who seems to have taken a liking to you. If things were normal between you and Wanda, maybe she wouldn’t feel so…threatened.

⑅୨୧* meant to be yours wanda maximoff x fem!reader | angst, fluff, pining that is a lot more mutual than it seems to either of you, mentions of marital issues, sorority!wanda & milf!wanda (best of both worlds), doctor doom makes his grand entrance, 14K

-nearly eight years after your breakup with her, you meet Wanda again when she enrolls her children at the preschool you work at, evoking a multitude of old feelings and regrets.

⑅୨୧* show off wanda maximoff & gn!reader | MINORS DNI, smut, fluff, possessiveness a little, mentions of voyeurism, cunnilingus, fingering, overstimulation, aftercare, dom!wanda maximoff, sub!afab!reader, 2.4k

-wanda has a difficult time keeping her hands to herself during a movie night with you and your friends.

⑅୨୧* matriarchal disturbance sub!wanda maximoff & fem!dom!reader | MINORS DNI, smut, angst, fluff, family issues, infidelity, age gap, strap-ons, cunnilingus, spanking, hair-pulling, praise, degradation, slight cnc, impact play, mention of somnophilia, mommy kink

-iryna maximoff pays her daughter a visit, and wanda must learn to balance living with her ever-complicated mother while navigating her rocky relationship with you, her stepdaughter.

⑅୨୧* shower thoughts wanda maximoff x fem!reader | 18+ ONLY; MINORS+MEN DNI. not proof read. masturbation, exhibitionism but like in private?, top!wanda, degradation, kind of praise?, shower sex, heavy orgasm control, vibrators, oral (r receiving), fingering (both), etc etc you get all that. this is smutty, 1.4k

-wanda just kinda ✨punishing✨ you

⑅୨୧* endlessly wanda maximoff x reader

-you’ll learn to like your coffee black, if it means forgetting the way her blood stained your hands.

⑅୨୧* new family wanda maximoff x fem!Reader x natasha romanoff | pregnant!reader, smut, and cursing, 6k

-your wives help you through your pregnancy. no matter how hard it gets for the three of you.

⑅୨୧* love language wanda maximoff x fem!civilianreader | fluff, mentions of hearing loss, sign languages.

-after thanos, wanda retires, along with a long term effect from all the missions she had and then she met you.

⑅୨୧* are you an angel or devil? wanda maximoff x reader | 18+!!! smut, mommy wanda, d/s, strap-ons, ass groping, halloween costumes w short skirts, degradation kind of, 1.1k

-kitchen strap-on sex on halloween

[tenderhungering]

veep headcanons? :3

oh this will take a WHILE……i love veep so much. i’m about to wrap up season 6 right now ! i think i’ll do little headcannons / analysis for each character ! i might do a part 2 because i want to also do some more supporting characters. like you know damn well im gonna wanna write for catherine and marjorie as a whole,,,

Selina

named catherine “catherine” like her mother in order to be able to yell said name in anger the way she never could yell back at her mother

the severe mommy issues make her need every single one of her staff to be emotionally involved in her. if she isn’t the center of their life, she gets anxious about it, even angry. she needs to be validated

depends heavily on spellcheck,,, i just think she hates phones for some reason.

she can tell EXACTLY how someone is feeling by making it up in her head and believing it ❤️

got arrested once in her youth and it was wiped off the record. #supportwomen’swrongs

Amy

would do super super well taking up something that makes her adrenaline pump. they keep trying to get her to relax by making her get massages, meditate and be in quiet. she needs NOISE. she should be allowed to beat someone up at least once a day

had a little gray cat whenever she was younger. she likes them ! they’re similar to how she is whenever it comes to boundaries.

bisexual but she has a stressful job so she doesn’t have time to think about that rn

she would benefit from me in her life actually

actually really liked dan bc dan seems to personalize the relationship to the person (dan is so kind ❤️) so she was into him but suddenly got the ick.

Dan

trigger warning for SA and grooming: i think dan’s relationship with sex is so affected by the fact he slept with his teacher whenever he was younger in exchange for a good grade. it has made him view it was an exchange, a transactional affair. it’s why he’s so shit at intimacy, he doesn’t see to her anything out of it.

watches all the latest movies but it’s only because he keeps taking women out to go see them:

has a really sensitive stomach,,,,he says it’s something he ate but i feel like whenever he gets anxious it happens to

catholic guilt galore but he’s busy so he CANNOT get into it

he’s so the type of boyfriend who does baby talk and when he’s recorded he gets real mad about it. get that camera OUTTA here

Mike

he is like a baby duckling to me that’s why he wanted to raise them actually

has so many useless apps on his phone. why do you have a flashlight app you have a flashlight BUILT into the phone. its okay though bc he watches lot of youtube tutorials

probably wanted to vlog at some point but he got yelled at by selina in a clip so he stopped

the personality hire,,, everyone loves him but god he can be so bad at his job sometimes. everyone gets mad but never enough to fire him

because he started dating wendy, he started to dress up a little more ! ties and handkerchiefs match. i love you dad

Jonah

he so ran one of those private meme accounts whenever he was younger but he got so bad at everyone saying they were lame he just posted a screenshot that said SUCK MY DICK SON and blocked everyone

his incessant gross comments are a result of being around a bunch of rich white men that happen to be politicians that tend to laugh at them. he has daddy issues. he needs the validation

his little curls going missing are a result of him getting his hair straightened because he wanted to look more professional actually. he burnt his hands so he begged his mom to help him

gets really anxious about his health CONSTANTLY and has a will written out already because he’s scared one day it’ll (he doesn’t know what) catch up to him

Gary

he knows the lyrics to every new pop song ever. he loves it. he used to play Just Dance whenever he was in college or something i don’t know i feel like he might’ve even been in a club that requires that

has an extensive skin care routine. he puts on those fluffy headbands sometimes but stopped bc he realized it was to keep your hair dry and his is so short lmao

definitely has an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. he just pops a pill of whatever and hopes that it works (it doesn’t)

needs heavy validation from authority figures,,,like badly,,, i think that’s why he enjoys it so much whenever any of selina’s boyfriends acknowledge him as a person (or anyone gives him any importance)

he needs someone to tell him what to do because he is so lost on having any identify that isn’t directly tied to someone else ? he’s not even really sure what he himself likes anymore. uses “we” more than he uses “i”

[butthatsjustmyfilthyopinion]

One time I was with a friend and a mutual acquaintance of ours started talking about how they figured out they were aromatic but it was in the format of those “you know your aroace when” and it just keeps getting increasingly specific and targeted. I knew well and good I was acespec at the time and my friend was the out aromantic acespec, and he had more regular contact so naturally I assumed that they were talking more to him than me which is chill they were an acquaintance, idgaf. So I’m sitting there laughing along because of course I’m relating to aspects of this I’m asexual, and then it starts getting into the aromatic section and I’m like “oh no. oh no” Something about it just triggered my flight instincts, like cat jumping and climbing over furniture and hissing kind of flight. I was nervously laughing like “ha ha I feel targeted stop. stop. STOP I FEEL TARGETED HeLP” and had to actually stop myself from crawling away over the seats (we were in an auditorium at the time). anyway, that’s how I started to figure out I was arospec finally, but moral of the story it’s okay knee jerk reaction is retreat. That doesn’t always mean you’re scared. it can just mean you’re not expecting something and want to approach it on your own terms.

to often I think bodily reactions are read into for emotional ones that aren’t necessarily there. My body is constantly “over preforming” what I’m feeling. My tone especially. Just yesterday I was talking with the cashier after a late shift and while I felt fine my tone was coming out so much more tired and gloomy. I asked him “how are you so cheerful on such a late night” and it came out accusatory. I wanted to apologize but it wasn’t worth it anymore. The same thing happens when I talk about something vaguely undesirable, and the opposite happens when something good happens. My body may want to sob when nothings happening, it may have pent up energy that I have no motivation to do anything with. It’s okay if your body doesn’t always match. idk where I’m going with this, but I guess if this is something you experience there’s someone around who’s living comfortably with it. Its never been a source of pain for me and I hope that it hasn’t been for you, but it can be strange to not really have the vocabulary for something and therefore not know if it’s normal or not. Which kind of circles back as to why we have labels in the first place, so we’re able to talk about these things. So yeah.

[vernfernn]

i don’t think i’ve ever told anyone this but like, during one of my first Skyrim play throughs, i was working up to build Lakeview manner. Lydia was my companion for the majority of the beginning, and she followed me around literally everywhere. holding all the materials i was hoarding, fighting my battles for me (i was new and inexperienced), and generally doing all the heavy work and getting literally no reward.

and when i say holding all my materials, i mean all my materials. all my good gems. my stone. clay. other miscellaneous ingots and bs i was never gonna look at nor use. countless dragon bones, scales, cast iron pots, ingredients and potions i “may need someday”.

she followed me everywhere, fought dragons, went missing when i ran from the dragons, disappeared when i started getting the hang of the game, and i never really bat an eye until i was at the half finished house and several dragons spawned in to attack me (i always fast traveled and that kind of triggered a dragon to always spawn whenever i got to the house) and was constantly screaming for her because i was low level and had no idea what i was doing.

“LYDIA WHERE DID YOUR SWORN TO CARRY MY BURDENS ASS GO IM GETTING FLAMED ALIVE IN FRONT OF A DEAD MUDCRAB!”

anyways

she also was there for when i became thane of falkreath and followed me when i painstakingly tried to figure out who i was supposed to do quests for to become thane.

i remember going into some sort of cave to find a journal for the priest of arkay only for it to be infested with the draugr (my sworn enemies at the time because they freaked me out) and she ended up getting locked out of the boss fight.

she got stuck behind a door while i sniped those idiots from a distance and somehow did not get spotted.

anyways, after building up all the wings for Lakeview (with spotty interior decor) we went to a mine so i could get a bunch of iron because i needed nails and hinges for my basement.

we finally get home and of course—a dragon decides to attack. again.

and i’m fighting for my life here, trying not to die and reload my quick save from literal hours ago.

and lydia thinks this is the perfect time to ask to be my steward.

with fire literally raining down from the heavens, burning my character alive, i hastily say yes without even realizing what she was asking for, and go into the offensive to put down this habanero lizard and steal its soul. classic hot girl shit.

she, me, and rayya (the housecarl you get when becoming thane of falkreath) fight this damn thing and kill it within literal minutes (i felt so proud of myself for not struggling during this fight.)

me later realizing i don’t have a follower behind me anymore when i fast travel to falkreath to buy more building materials for my house. the entire time i was wondering if Lydia glitched again (she got stuck behind a wall in ustengrav before and during that fetch quest for that one priest so i decided i would backtrack once i finished buying building materials to furnish my house.)

i teleport back to my house and almost immediately see lydia walk around like she owned the place. it was then i realized she wasn’t my follower anymore, and i assumed that my game had indeed glitched so i go up to her to see what the problem is or to recruit her again.

que lydias talk screen having the options to decorate my house when i talk to her, and i realize what happened. i immediately have second thoughts when i hear how happy she is about being my Steward and i feel guilty for wanting her as a follower again. so i just leave her there along with like 15k gold to furnish my house.

i also have a housecarl as mentioned before: rayya. and as i’m playing (and marrying some lass from riverwood for the money and literally nothing else because i was DESPERATE to have the house fully furnished.)

i eventually realized it was a bit odd that there where three women living in one house under one roof along side two kids and a husky and other small creature. (it was either a rat, bunny, or mud crab i do not remember.)

que me replaying this character a several more times and keeping up the tradition of having Lydia as a steward for Lakeview and Rayya as another household member but never adopt any kids or marry again because i’m now a master at scamming vendors in the game. plus the kids were annoying, and always ungrateful, and always asking for cash or gifts (none of which they were ever grateful for).

as the years progress i grow attached to my character and start creating a small story for him because we have a lot of history and i got attached.

i’m then wondering how i would explain Lydia and Rayya.

it hits me.

lesbians.

they’re married and employed by a really cool landlord who also happens to be the prophesied savior of the world.

they simply live out their years in a big house with the best scenery and local necromancer to keep them company. once tasked to follow and guard a guy who could yell really loud, now living out in the woods with an early retirement.

now in my head they are married and live in the big ass house with a cool husky, some chickens, a cow, carriage, horse, bard, and the occasional giant on its way to absolutely murder the chickens and cow whenever he stops by. classic cottagecore—warrior—lesbian story.

que me going through the house to see if there would be enough beds for everyone.

minus the one in the wing i used to create a primary bedroom, there’s another bed for two people upstairs. in my mind that bed is theirs and they’re married

lydia kept one of my amulets of mara my first play through when i agreed to let her be my steward (she kept a lot of my stuff, and i was unable to get it back because i felt too guilty taking the one thing she seemed to like). ((also i tried pickpocketing her but failed every single time)).

i grow genuinely attached to this idea and can never keep Lydia as a companion when it comes to getting my house furnished and feel a sense of pride when i’m reuniting her with her one true love.

anyways, that’s the story of how i came to love two completely unrelated characters and no one will understand my attachment to them. i love them so much and want them to be happy.

they’re married, idc

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Shifts

I want to talk about something I seen again and again, and I myself also have a hard time getting away from, language.

In specific, I’m talking about shifting terms and definitions.

A lot of the times, it’s basically kinshift.

“What’s wrong with kinshift?”

No no, nothing’s wrong. Just that it being strictly otherkin/fictionkin/therian shift is the issue—it’s too limiting and exclusive. Nothing wrong tacking on it being a kin/therio shift. But we are the alterhuman community. There are more than just identify-as shift.

There is the term cameo shift for anything not kinshift, but there is the implication of its impermanence. Perhaps it’s not that important a distinction, and people would be fine using it, but I find that shifting language should be automatically vague. “Getting closer or the fluctuation of one’s alterhuman state”. It’s a workshop item, I’m not good with exact wording of things.

Well, that’s a community discussion topic.

Let me talk a bit about my own experience, that’s easier to talk about.

I have a good number of shifts that I experiences. Not all of them I know the respective terminologies off the top of my head.

== Phantom Shift ==

I’m most constantly experiencing phantom shift, and can probably call it being perma shifted. Just fluctuate in intensity. It’s why I attempt to word a definition that covers this sort of situation where it isn’t “getting close to the state of being one’s ‘type from typical human” (that ending part regarding what to put as the “starting” state gave me a lot of pauses, because how can I cover human fictionfolk or orthohuman but otherhuman?) My type of shifting is not uncommon, with a baseline which one is already their alterhuman ‘type, and just the intensity that changes.

Anyways, phantom shift. I mostly feel my own wings, tail, body parts and what have you. The change comes from the shapeshifter shenanigan, which, amongst the shapeshifter of otherconnect discord, we talked about a possible couple of terms for basically a “shapeshifter’s changing form shift”. Shapeshifter shift is a mouthful.

Gosh I kept getting side tracked.

Beyond my kintype shift, I’d once felt a near full body phantom shift of my three-tailed enfield hearttype. And it’s a linktype born out of paratype feelings!! You know how excited I was? To feel something, to have a confirmation of its success (of the linking process), and to just get to feel something that is unusual in a way.

I don’t think I feel other sort of phantom shift. If I do, it’s so far too hard to tell with the amount of draconic type I have, as for the humanoids…

== Mental Shift ==

I don’t really get this as much anymore. Which, I think it is a good thing, because the times I feel closer to my Naruto hearttype is usually when I’m feeling close to the negative part of his situation—when he was a isolated boy, seen as a freak, maybe bullied by other kids, it’s fuzzy now, what is the exact scenario that would trigger this sort of empathetic mental shift. I think I prefer it that way. I don’t think I could ever embody the positive or even neutral part of Naruto himself, considering my hearttype is of a AU version. But hey, my alterhumanity likes to surprise me, I’ll be sure to yell about it if it happens.

Mental shift with my other ‘type are all rather vague. When am I not a creature? I flip on the dime depending on who I am with, so “mischivious chirpy creeture dragon thing” is a constant state of mind. I did have the beastly Berserk shift, though that needs me to be in a certain state, like a set of requirement has to be met first in order to let the Beast out (ha, the pun, Beast is my inner beast in a lot of ways, so the double entendre is very intentional). So far, rage is one, but not always since anger is a constant emotion I deal with. The other is lust, with good dose of dominant personality. I’m not sure if the Berserk shift caused the dominant nature or if it is the other way around.

I’m trying to recall if I get any mental shift from my kardiatype or our Aurelion Sol vaguetype, but with Sol, star is a unbound version instead of the hauty, self-sured, egoistical version within the game. I’m guessing my kardiatype would be a sort of wise, eldery guardian, caring and proper, sophisticate? I’d felt a little like that when I’m in my eastern tatsu form.

And yes, my personality can have shifts here and there depending on the form I’m in. A lot of the times, I can’t control how the form will influence me, sometimes I almost think it’s my personality shift that trigger the shapeshift shift (see what I meant about it being a mouthful?).

Feels like if I keep saying shift, it will start to lose meaning. Why are words so limiting? Maybe it’s a English thing too.

== Astral Shift ==

This is a weird one. I can never tell the line where it’s considered phantom and where it’s astral.

I think the one time I would more firmly categorize this is when I was doing a meditative session, and as I visualize, my “body” (possibly astral body) grew, and grew, and grew until I’m a two or three stories tall eastern dragon. From that point, I guessed that my eastern dragon form can grow indefinite in length. But now I think that can apply to any that’s not strict in form “condition”.

== Dream Shift ==

Save the best for last. Well, kinda. Since I plan to talk a little bit about my miscellaneous shifts that I don’t remember the term or don’t know how to categorize later.

Lucid dreaming, one of my favorite activity. Word contradiction aside, I have a lot of dream shifts. Frustratingly enough, I’ve only get to feel my orange fur and fluffy white wings like, twice, as far as I can recall. One was your typical european western form, another time is vague, but I know it happened. I will need to check back on my notes.

I’d jotted all of them down, the ones I can recall.

Here is where I will actually use cameo shift, and sort of ties into my whole grumpiness about shifts being always tied to one’s kin/theriotype. Because here, my cameo shifts are shift into things that are none of my alterhuman identitype.

I have become a sort of water spirit, humanoid and blue liquid body, circling around a low hanging new moon as if I’m enacting the Dream Work iconic opening.

I have shifted into a number of draconic creatures, once with cheek fins (that actually hurts when I touch them, inside a dream!!), once with pitch black scaled tail and batty wings (isn’t it bats?), once with ranbow scale down my body into a tail that has a tufted tail. I was a tiny dragon once, probably rivaling my fae dragon form, just a whisp of a whelpling. I also was a strange blue dragon, no scale, no fur, the skin texture almost leathery, and wings you’d seen more on Pixiv. Kind of sci-fi fantasy mixture but it’s fully organic. Alien.

I also had once took on a form of somewhat anthro, red scaled, webbed winged, and it felt like a fire-breathing dragoness, with breasts and all. I rarely call my dreams nightmare but that one, that was truly a nightmare scneario, I had echo of combo dysphoria both in species AND gender, that I hope to never feel like that again. Y’all that are that sort of dragon, you’re fine, but me? I can’t. That is everything I am not.

*Shivers*

I also have dream shifted into this hulking black mess of anti-matter, man-made dragon—dark, chaos, the sense of wrongness pervasive to my whole being. I think I looked a little like if ender dragon meet digimon. That was a level of bad only rivaled by the red scaled, webbed winged, and fire-breathing, anthro dragoness.

I think one of my favorite dream shifts though, is shifting into my kardiatype.

There is a sort of preciousness tied to that life, whenever I get to have a glimpse of it. Treasured and held dear. The plot of the dream wasn’t a happy one, edged with despair and desperation, but important nonetheless.

It was a small Japanese village, almost like a scene from a anime.

I was with my family and my partner, it was all joy and happiness. But then suddenly, there was panic.

The whole town had to escape and run towards the really high mountain where was this sacred temple of some sort at the top.

Running was too slow. Whatever was making everyone panic was too fast. Dark and all-encompassing, approaching fast, black fog at the edge of my vision. So I turn into a white serpetine dragon, white jade colored mane and tail fading out of existence, grabed my people and putting them on my back along the way, theb just start flying towards the mountain while having everyone else grabbing each other and climb on.

When we reach the mountain base and started flying up almost vertically, I saw the mountain wall depicting various scenaries and of strange rune of history and legend and myth. The answer was at the very top of the mountain when we reached it. But I can’t remember what was it.

Let’s not end this section with too big of a cliff-hanger that even I don’t know the ending to. Here is a list I keep on the sort of dragons I turn into within my dreams. I’m a little awed by the amount and variety myself.

List of Dragons I turned/dream shifted into

white colored jade maned eastern dragon (my past life/kardiatype)

small teal-blue colored chubby dragon

tiny wyrm dragon

tiny hatchling dragon

my core form (kintype)

my large formme (kintype)

human made pitch black mess of bio dragon

human form with water dragon scale tail and ear fins (touching the fins hurt for some reason)

human form with black scale bat wings and tail

human form with rainbow scale and black marking, furred tail with mane, two pairs of feathered wings

just ram horn on human form

(a photo of) me with red scales as anthro, webbed wings, feminine shaped (dysphoria)

Colossal size webbed wing dark colored body with beak like snout

bipedal spiky, webbed wing big scales large horn

chimeric sludge/goo hydra

Salamence shaped wings

White red pink hues scaled european. Spikey tail and spine, several spikey behind head

== Unknown and Vague Shift ==

I really like grey area terms or the idgaf terms, like vaguetype or quoiluntary, I also learn a term called quoiian. Not sure if I will use that one yet since I’m pretty happy with the ones I have.

There are the possibility of shifts I don’t know how to categorize because of their vagueness. But I definitely felt some that I can’t easily put them into one of the other ones I can give name to.

Things that are maybe sensory shift, how do people even capture them in the first place? And do you categorize them as the ‘tism? Hypersensory. Aura shift seems confusing, and potentially the same blurriness that maybe-astral shift provides. I can’t be sure if I’d ever gotten envisage or shadow shift, but in the back of my mind, I know to put a pin on them.

So with all that, we could perhaps talk about shift not just as a kin/therian sort of thing. I have seen many ask of “can I have [non-kin/theriotype] shift?” enough that I just want to scream “YES”. Because you absolutely can, and the term definition can use a slight update to reflect that inclusion. If not a community wide acknowledgement at the very least.