#struggles in general

[butthatsjustmyfilthyopinion]

One time I was with a friend and a mutual acquaintance of ours started talking about how they figured out they were aromatic but it was in the format of those “you know your aroace when” and it just keeps getting increasingly specific and targeted. I knew well and good I was acespec at the time and my friend was the out aromantic acespec, and he had more regular contact so naturally I assumed that they were talking more to him than me which is chill they were an acquaintance, idgaf. So I’m sitting there laughing along because of course I’m relating to aspects of this I’m asexual, and then it starts getting into the aromatic section and I’m like “oh no. oh no” Something about it just triggered my flight instincts, like cat jumping and climbing over furniture and hissing kind of flight. I was nervously laughing like “ha ha I feel targeted stop. stop. STOP I FEEL TARGETED HeLP” and had to actually stop myself from crawling away over the seats (we were in an auditorium at the time). anyway, that’s how I started to figure out I was arospec finally, but moral of the story it’s okay knee jerk reaction is retreat. That doesn’t always mean you’re scared. it can just mean you’re not expecting something and want to approach it on your own terms.

to often I think bodily reactions are read into for emotional ones that aren’t necessarily there. My body is constantly “over preforming” what I’m feeling. My tone especially. Just yesterday I was talking with the cashier after a late shift and while I felt fine my tone was coming out so much more tired and gloomy. I asked him “how are you so cheerful on such a late night” and it came out accusatory. I wanted to apologize but it wasn’t worth it anymore. The same thing happens when I talk about something vaguely undesirable, and the opposite happens when something good happens. My body may want to sob when nothings happening, it may have pent up energy that I have no motivation to do anything with. It’s okay if your body doesn’t always match. idk where I’m going with this, but I guess if this is something you experience there’s someone around who’s living comfortably with it. Its never been a source of pain for me and I hope that it hasn’t been for you, but it can be strange to not really have the vocabulary for something and therefore not know if it’s normal or not. Which kind of circles back as to why we have labels in the first place, so we’re able to talk about these things. So yeah.

[sappholovell]

Guys

Guys I made an editing plan back in February for my novel and it was two chapters every month and my deadline was the first week of July so I was like I'll do two chapters every month but June where I'll do chapter thirteen and fourteen and fifteen because fifteen is the epilogue and it's like ten sentences.

GUYS. SIXTEEN IS THE EPILOGUE. FIFTEEN IS A WHOLE ASS CHAPTER.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WAS A SIXTEEN. AND I WROTE THE DAMN BOOK.

[milesofstars]

dont worry about it jason...

[taiyo-tenebris]

My two pieces for the 2024 Pokemon TCG Illustrator Contest! I didn't place in the top 300 but I still had fun drawing it anyway.

[f-identity]

[Image description: A series of posts from Jason Lefkowitz @jalefkowit@octodon.social dated Dec 08, 2022, 04:33, reading:

It's good that our finest minds have focused on automating writing and making art, two things human beings do simply because it brings them joy. Meanwhile tens of thousands of people risk their lives every day breaking down ships, a task that nobody is in a particular hurry to automate because those lives are considered cheap https://www.dw.com/en/shipbreaking-recycling-a-ship-is-always-dangerous/a-18155491 (Headline: 'Recycling a ship is always dangerous.' on Deutsche Welle) A world where computers write and make art while human beings break their backs cleaning up toxic messes is the exact opposite of the world I thought I was signing up for when I got into programming

/end image description]

[bacchuschucklefuck]

they look like this I think .

[kropotkindersurprise]

June 26, 2024 - Bolivia's union confederation has announced an indefinite general strike against the coup, effective immediately. The Central Obrera Boliviana, which contains all workers and peasant unions is also mobilizing workers and social movements to descend on the capital, La Paz, to repel the coup. [source]

edit: Coup attempt seems to have been defeated already (via @komsomolka [link] / [news source])

[mostly-natm]

A little continuation!

[pleuvoire]

drew these as warmups months apart. matching set

[ggenggar]

[mafuaato]

サイコソーダ

i seem to always draw sgr when im struggling :’)

[wigglebox]

Destiel Pride - Day 7; Queer Joy

[rileylastname]

maybe it’s because it’s “too obvious” but im surprised how few readings I’ve seen of the Substance (2024) that discuss the themes of addiction and substance (ha) use & abuse.

in moderation you can use the substance to become a better, more fun, easier, happier version of yourself. then you realize you no longer want to be who you are when you’re not on the substance. then taking the same dose that used to be enough before isn’t enough anymore, so you want to take more, and just a little bit more couldn’t hurt, right? so you start to take even more. but this is only taking away from sober you, which is painful and difficult and even scarier than what compelled you to take it in the first place, so of course you can’t stop now. now you want to take even more, you NEED to take even more. sober life becomes harder and harder to bear, especially compared to how much easier everything is on the substance. now you’re not only using it to enjoy that feeling anymore, you’re using it to hide from what you’re turning into without it, from what you’ve already turned into.

every minute that you’re sober is spent counting down the days until you can use again, and the ends of being high are spent dreading going back. the sober self is upset and jealous at how irresponsible the high self is. the high self is upset at how much of a buzzkill the sober self is, and wishes they could exist on their own, without requiring their sober tether to existence. but the sober and high selves are the same person, you are one, and you become jealous and angry at yourself for ruining your own life in a vain attempt to become an impossible version of yourself that you most desire to be.

you want so badly to have all—and only all—of the best parts that you milk yourself dry, until you end up with all—and nothing but all—of the bad parts. by the time you truly feel that you have indeed lost everything and know you need to stop, the damage is already done, and there is no going back. you wish you had stopped at the first chance, you wish you had never started to begin with. and even then for many people the only way to deal with this terrifying, painful reality is to use even more, because you have made this terrifying, painful life without your substance feel unliveable, even scarier yet than what had made you use in the first place. there is nothing left to do but to hide from your own life, and the only ways to do this are to stop, to love yourself and take care of the person that you are now… or to keep taking more and more, using until there is truly nothing left, not even yourself.

[hawkinasock]

My personal take on the Abundance Yanqing theory.

[i-dreamofsleep]

hnggdhgffff i hope he explodes rrrarsrrarr

full

i gave up on the umbrella + the colors are a bit off but yk what fuck it its been two hours its one layer and im tired LOL

[somnimagus]

My page for @kairizine. It was such a huge honor to be part of this wonderful book with everyone, I had so much fun!

[id in alt!]