#I’m also going back to volunteering. even if the job they end up giving me is kinda boring at least it’s somethin’

[stuffyflowers]

hi feel free to not answer this or anything but being in your same unemployment n struggling situation right now i'm wishing you the sincerest luck. this shit is so humiliating to go through especially when you feel like you should've reached this milestone earlier and when everyone around you is telling you how easy it is and how you should just Do it but you can't. and feeling like you're being pushed and pulled in every direction while also being blocked from any sort of progress. i totally understand and though our situations might not be totally the same i am right here with you and i believe in you. you will reach your goals!! it's so difficult and so crushing but you will succeed. i have faith for the both of us! we stay strong and stay silly and we try! your efforts matter no matter how small and every little step of progress is progress nonetheless. interviews and applications suck massive balls but we will get through it. eventually!! and i hate eventually!! but its something. just do your best!! good luck!! employers dont know shit from fuck!

no thank you kit this genuinely means a lot to me… it’s been very difficult for me bc everyone I know irl isn’t experiencing what I am. all my friends have jobs or are studying or doing something useful with their gap year… my parents THINK they know what I’m going through but like. they’ve both got stable jobs and aren’t held back by all of the mental issues that Im facing rn so it all just feels so dissonant to me… so yeah, um, thanks for saying this. I hope the best for you too, being unemployed n unsure of urself in a world where not being “productive” or “useful” is something to scoff at.. it’s so draining.

[drdemonprince]

I have almost no energy to move or to think. My eyes hurt. My head hurts. I’m constantly on the verge of puking. The room is spinning. Normally bouncing off the walls with the desire to exercise, try new things, and socialize, all I want to do is sit silently in the dark. I am incapacitated, in an inescapable way, by the demands of full-time work. I had forgotten for a while that I am so profoundly disabled, because I have been able to build a life around my natural rhythms and my inarguable sensitivities. But for just one week, I’ve been thrust back into approximating something of a “normal” working life, and I can’t handle it. Not even remotely. If I were to live by this schedule all of the time, if necessity forced me to work an actual full-time job with real, in-person, full-time hours, I would have zero energy for meal preparation, physical fitness, social outings, on-the-ground activism, or any of the random adventures that make life so worthwhile. In my schedule I’d scarcely find the time for doctor’s visits, tooth cleanings, trips to the DMV, birthday parties, conferences, runs to the post office, or any of the other small journeys that make it possible for supposedly “independent” adult life to run. My health, my relationships, my community, and my grounding in reality would dramatically collapse.

Working full-time is a sickness. And not just for especially sensitive people like me. The friends I know with full-time jobs are tired nearly all the time, and have had to give up on so many of their passions and fulfilling pursuits. Over the years some full-time workers I know have become a bit dull-eyed and distant, no passion in their voice, a ghost of their younger selves. They assume it is because they are growing “old,” but I’m older than many of them, and many people older than me are similarly able to bounce off the walls. We have energy if we get enough sleep, if we eat robustly and eagerly, and if life is filled with shared wanderings that we can look forward to. We need repetition, and comfort, and rest, but also ample space to dream, and the power to bring some of those dreams into reality. So many people under capitalism lack all of those things. Their jobs are a chronic illness they must cradle, manage, and make endless sacrifices for every single day. There is so much they can’t do. They don’t go on dates with their spouses because they’re falling asleep at 8pm. They’re behind on doctor’s appointments and haven’t visited their siblings for years. They’re too weak and weary to travel, to volunteer, to meet anybody new. All they have it in them to do at the end of the day is collapse in front of something familiar on the TV. And it is so normal that nobody even considers it a sickness.

The full essay is free to read or have narrated to you at drdevonprice.substack.com.

[foldingfittedsheets]

My mom has this awful friend, Cynthia. My loathing goes deep enough that I’m not even going to change her name. If she ever finds this she knows what she did.

On multiple occasions my mom asked this horrible irresponsible chicken brained woman to watch after our animals while we were away. I don’t know why once wasn’t enough, because the first failure was so spectacular that anyone in their right mind would know she couldn’t be trusted with any level of responsibility or direction following.

You might be thinking to yourself, FFS, this level of antipathy is surely unwarranted! But you’d be wrong.

To set the scene, we were living in downstairs of our house when I was about fifteen. My mom has always wanted more animals than can reasonably be kept indoors which is how we ended up with three cats. When she wanted to kick them all outside I protested, and so all three cats lived in my bedroom with no access to the rest of the house.

That really wasn’t great, so in an attempt to give them options we made a window cutout with a cat door in it to give them access to the outdoors. Looking back on this as an environmentally conscious adult it’s wretched, cats should be indoor only, but at the time I was desperate to give them some freedom because one bedroom is too small for three cats.

So my parents and I went on a week long trip to visit family out of state. We told Cynthia to come feed and water the cats, and to scoop the litter box. Most importantly, don’t lock the handle of the door, because we only have the key to the deadbolt.

I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Cynthia locked us out. We arrived home after 12 hours on the road, desperate for the comfort of our own beds. We were met with an unyielding door. With a sigh I volunteered, “I can punch in the cat door and climb in the window.”

I slipped behind the bamboo outside my window and pushed in the cutout. A horrible insidious reek wafted out at me. I paused, prickling with foreboding. But I had a job to do, and by god I’d see it through. I hefted myself up into the window and my hand immediately landed in something wet.

Skin crawling, I pulled myself up and surveyed the darkened room as a miserable odor of decay and suffering poured out of the room around me. I could see dark shapes littering the carpet and it didn’t take a genius to guess that the cats had taken up hunting in a big way during my absence.

I pulled my hand out of the pile of vomit it had landed in and dropped into my onetime bedroom turned now into a hellpit of decomposing wretchedness. I turned on the light. I wished I had not turned on the light.

My eyes scanned across the floor, tallying as they went. Two dead birds, a dead baby rabbit, five dead mice, and one dead snake. I paused on my alarm clock, perplexed to see a stain of white on it. I stepped closer and saw a furtive movement.

The tally suddenly contained also: one live bird that had shit in several places, probably in pure terror to find itself trapped in a room littered with decomposing woodland creatures, which honestly, fair. I coaxed it out the window and finished the survey with five discrete piles of vomit.

I unlocked the door and let my parents in. They exclaimed in disgust at the horrible smell. We stood together in my doorway floored by the magnitude of neglect. The unscooped litter box was a subtle footnote in the tangible reek my living space. I disposed of the parade of ecological disaster, cleaned vomit, and scooped the box after a brutally long day on the road. The cats were fine, and happy to see me. They had a huge dish or food and water so Cynthia’s neglect at least hadn’t harmed them.

Then I slept on the couch while my bedroom aired out, the windows flung wide to dispel the uneasy ghosts of the hunted. I spent the whole night cursing Cynthia’s name for this evil she’d visited upon me. When my mom asked her, "Cynthia, didn't you see the dead animals?"

Cynthia responded, "Yes, they smelled so bad, I just ran in and out as fast as I could." I fully don't believe she did any caretaking, and I'm personally of the opinion that she locked herself out on the first day and never came back.

The next day my room had returned to a habitable level of smellscape and I gratefully crawled into my bed that night. I stretched out and froze as my foot brushed something cold and wet?

The final indignity: one last dead snake, inside my very sheets.

Fucking Cynthia.

[hollyhomburg]

I haven’t had an idea about hybrids in a long long time but 🥺 what about pup hybrid koo who gets abandoned by his owners for being too high energy, who waits by the door every day for them to come back, doesn’t like to talk to other humans because they’re not his owner but then slowly, the volunteer who comes into his room to talk to him every day and eat his meals with him and feed him treats starts to chip away at his heart and adopts him.

only to have him wake up Literally lying on top of them, deal with him breaking out of the house and following them to work, everywhere- jk is just so worried about being left behind again but! It’s a good thing his owner is really understanding and doesn’t mind that he’s a clingy little puppy.

And of course Doberman! jk is also still covered with tattoos just like irl jk 🥺 big floppy ears hanging over his face, the breed and tattoos usually turn people off from adopting him because Dobermans you know- they’re /protection/ dogs, they don’t see jks wide terrified eyes hidden behind his big ears. They just see the tattoos and piercings and walk the other way. Im imagining the first time jk ever falls asleep on the m/c, head on her lap, her fingers rubbing against the spot on the back of them where they’re sensitive and tingly saying to herself “at least he didn’t doc your ears, I would have expected- given the other /modifications/ he made to you, that he’d have done that. At least he had the decency to leave them alone”

And she asks cuz of course she does, why jks old owner covered him with tattoo’s and maybe she should have waited until he was more awake but jk just says “liked to come with hyung to work, saved his best designs for me”

Maybe years later they have a run in with Jks old owner and it’s one of the other boys, tattoo artist yoongi maybe? but 🥺 jk finally gets his closure because he finds out yoongi didn’t abandon him he just got into an accident and was in a coma for 6 months and then had 18 months of re-learning how to walk after that. How to do art, how to tattoo again and yoongis finally back on his feet. Even when he was in a wheelchair yoongi never stopped going to different shelters to try and find Jk. Yoongi never gave up looking for his pup 🥺

Imagine tattoo artist yoongi with arms full of pretty floral tattoos in the same style as the ones on jk’s arm 🥺 and the m/c once again questions him about it and jk gives her the honest answer of “I asked for them”

Maybe jk is now faced with the horrible choice of being the one who leaves his new owner who he loves a lot and going back to the person who he once missed more than anything! Of course his little pup brain just comes up with the simple solution! They both just have to move in together to look after him! That way he gets both!! And only- the m/c and yoongi are really opposites- but they decide to try and make being roommates work if only because jk deserves it.

And maybe yoongi starts taking care of her too because he always did let jungkook depend on him lots 🥺 for cooking and brushing out his long fluffy hair and showers after boxing class. And yoongi fusses because around her work schedule she forgets to eat a bunch and he ends up going to drop off lunches because honestly- the tatto shop kinda runs it’s self since namjoon and taehyung took over during yoongis accident- they never met jk because they only bought into the business after yoongis accident when he had to sell off half of it to cover his medical bills (I’m picturing calico mini- a new addition, who took over jks job of checking people in for their appointments and answering the phone)

But anyway back to yoongi and his babying It’s natural for him to say “up!” To her (a total accident he swears) when she’s wearing a soaked shirt after coming in from the rain, blushing hard, but kinda grinning when she follows obediently. Because jk always liked it when yoongi would dress him 🥺 hyungs perfect little puppy doll all pliant and good. And it would be okay if only she didn’t slip up too! Accidentally calling yoongi a good boy on more than one occasion or going in for a “good pup kiss” cuz jk is like- kinda a kissy puppy, likes good morning kisses and thank you for putting your dishes away and “I missed you cuz you just peed kisses and I was worried a monster was gonna eat you in the bathroom” kisses. Jk has them both very well trained.

Of course he’d tease her endlessly for that. “Maybe we should get you a pair of puppy ears for Halloween if you’re gonna listen to me the way that jk does” “yeah? I’ll get you a pair of kitty ears and tatto whiskers on you in your sleep” only what if one day yoongi reveals he actually does have whisker tattoos they’re just black light 😭

Only why don’t they kiss each other the way they give him good boy kisses 🥺 why don’t they cuddle each other like they cuddle him??? Why don’t they good hands the way they hold hands with him when he goes out so that they don’t get lost! Jk has to remedy this right away 😠 he can’t loose either of them ever again so he’s gotta set them up!!!

[demonlovingsheep]

An MC who is addicted in helping the brothers maintaining their horns, wings, and tail. Why? Cause :

You have such a huge area on Lucifer’s wings and plucking out the old feathers until their all gone is so satisfying. It’s like plucking white hair from your older relatives, except you don’t even get paid a nickel for each cause this is a volunteer service. Maybe the first or second time, but after Mammon saw you get rich, he was offering Lucifer to groom his wings before you and stealing your job 😡.

MC “MAMMON FACK OFF, THIS IS MY JOB I’M BROKE.”

Mammon “WELL I’M BROKER”

Mc “AND WHO’S FAULT IS THAT?!?!”

Lucifer got annoyed at this and stopped paying entirely. You gave Mammon the silent treatment after that and he begged you to forgive him, which you did eventually.

Mammon’s wings are leathery. Maybe use a lint roller to roll all the dust and stuff off. The sound is nice too. You also can’t help running your finger over the boney parts up to his back, which he will flinch and get fluster.

Mammon “Wha-what are you doing? S-s-stop!

MC: I’m taking the elevator up to get closer to your heart 😘

Mammon *turning red like a tomato* “S-Sh-Shuddap dummy.”

Levi’s tail is like removing dried paint from the wall. If you never seen a snake owner holding onto the snake while it moves to shed, you are missing out.

MC “Levi, your tail is awesome, beautiful, gorgeous, majestic, long, sexy, and….looks tasty. *Chomps*

Levi *jumps from his chair and howls, then he died*

Satan’s bones tail often has gunk between the cracks. You use a tweezer to remove them section by section and marvel at the pile your able to remove.

Satan “MC, don’t go too deep, you’ll touch the nerves and it’ll hurt a little. I’m sure there is nothing there anyways.

MC “No no, just give me a moment. I’m sure there is something in here, I needa- *pulls out a huge chunk of dusk gunk* holy hell.

Satan 😳 “Oh my tail is a bit more flexible now. So that’s the reason why.”

MC *happy cause the pile of gunk got bigger*

Asmo is the same with Mammon. However his wings smell nicer and you marvel at how his wings connects to his back. Not something you see often and you wonder if his wing muscles are stronger since his wings are small in proportion to his body but he can still fly.

MC “Asmo, your wings are smaller than Lucifer’s but it looks a bit small in comparison to your size. How do you fly?”

Asmo: Because everyone loves me darling. And their love powers me and is able to carry me off. Oh ain’t I just the prettiest being of the world ❤️!”

Your eyes was about to roll to the back of your head.

Beel’s translucent wing makes u put a hand under it while you wipe it with a towel on the other side. You were kinda playing with it’s characteristics, tracing the lines that runs through it with your finger. He finds it very ticklish but thinks your adorable.

MC “You know, in the Human world there is a thing called palm reading. It’s where you can predict all sorts of things like when you’ll get married, your luck, you longevity, and everything by the lines on your hand.”

Beel “Really? Well I sure hope that there is a line on my wing that means we will be together forever” *smiles happily*

MC *wraps arm around Beel’s neck, nuzzling him* “You don’t need a line to tell you that. I love you and will be there forever!”

Lemme grab that floof at the end of ur tail dammit. Belphegor’s tail is like a cat’s toy and you can’t resist just targeting that floof, oohh that floof. And you will take care of it as if it’s a small fluffy animal. You will bath it, blow dry it, brush it, and top it off with a bow tie. Finally you give it a kiss and this whole dam time Belphegor is getting jealous of his own tail LMAO.

Belphie “MC, give me more attention up here.” *pouts*

MC “No! I want to spend more time with Luna.” *Rubs face against fluff*

Belphie “Luna? You named my tail? What about Belphie? He needs attention too. *Lifts tail away from your hand*

MC “NOO GIMME BACK LUNA U MONSTER!”

Belphie: >:(

*I thought this would be a short post but as I started to write, it just keep going, holy.

[ve1vetkisses]

For you

❥Neuvilette x f!reader

❥content: angst, a little fluff, reader gets hurt,

❥summary: You were an adventurer, finishing some commissions when you got attacked.

A/N: it’s a little rushed and short. Sorry if it isn’t written that well!

You were an adventurer, exploring around Fontaine, gathering materials for commissions. With your companion dog which made a lot of things easier, you could never get tired of your job.

It was afternoon already, you were gathering some flowers for Chiori, she wanted to use them as color for her new upcoming collection. You always collected things that reminded you of Neuvilette, your boyfriend. It could be flowers, treasures or even a rock, anything that made his eyes light up at the end of the day.

You were fending off some Hilichurls surrounding a treasure with your pyro vision.

As you were catching your breath after killing the last one. You heard your dog bark at something. „Hm? What’s wrong?“ you said as you were digging through the chest. You turned around seeing seeing three big men walking towards you. ‚Fuck.‘ was all you could think of. „Hey! I think that belongs to us. Put the things back.“ the smallest, holding a gun said. „Um, I don’t see your name on it.“ you answered not even thinking about what could happen. Your dog kept barking at them, ready to attack them. He was just waiting for you command. „Shut that dog up!“ The one with the hammer said. You looked down at your dog. There was no way out. If you ran away they’d probably shoot you, if you attack them you’ll probably lose. You could also give them the treasure back but it was a gem. A gem that reminded you of Neuvilette. You couldn’t give that back.

So you charged at them. Going for the smallest one first. Dodging the attacks of the other two swiftly. Your sword hit his gun with a loud clang. Suddenly you felt a strong hand around your neck. He just looked at you. Staring at his mask trying to pry his hand off of your neck, struggling to breathe. He let go, you fell to the ground. You couldn’t even look up as you felt a kick to your stomach. „That’s enough. Let’s go.“ You heard footsteps indicating that they left. You looked at your dog. He had a cut at his leg. Standing up was impossible, so you crawled to a nearby stone leaning against it.

„Where is she?“ Chiori was wondering where you are. Usually you‘re quick with commissions and the sun is starting to set. She went to the Palais Memoria wanting to report you missing. As she walked in, she could see Neuvilette standing at the reception, talking to the melusine behind it.

„Excuse me? I wanted to report someone missing.“ She said to the melusine. Neuvilette started to listen. „So, Y/N isn’t back yet. I gave her a commission today and usually she gets it done quickly. So I’m just worried a little.“ Neuvilette‘s face dropped. „I‘ll go look for her.“ he immediately volunteered. He didn’t care if there any work that’s still to be done. He could do that later.

You looked in the sky feeling raindrops on your face. „Why is it raining?“ you asked yourself. You examined your body, there were cuts all over your body. „Neuvilette… I hope he doesn’t worry too much.“ you dropped your head to rest a little.

Neuvilette was looking everywhere he could think of. Your favourite places, spots for the flowers you were supposed to grab. ‚Where is she?‘ Neuvilette ran out of places to look for you and grew frustrated.

But then, he saw someone leaning against a stone. It was you! „Y/N!” He said under his breath. Neuvilette’s heart stopped as he saw you lying there. With injuries scattered across your body and your eyes shut.

Neuvilette walked up to you, examining every inch of your body. He sighed in relief as he saw that you’re breathing, your dog guarding you. He kneeled down next to you, „Y/N what happened?“ he asked you as he caressed your cheek. „The Fatui, they suddenly showed up and wanted to take my treasure. I didn’t give it to them since they attacked me.“ you explained remembering the gem for Neuvilette. „Why didn’t you just give it to them?“ he was curious about what could be so special that you risk your life for it. You showed him the gem „It reminded me of you.“ smiling as you saw his eyes light up.

„You’re unbelievable. Let’s go.“

~ owner 2

[otrtbs]

hi! could you explain a little bit what you studied and if you did any apprenticeship before you got a job ? a little summary to how you got there ? i’m so curious (and i admire you a lot)

hiya!! sure!!

so back in high school i actually started volunteering at my local art museum when i was 16 (up until i graduated at 18). they had a program specifically designed for teens to volunteer at the museum (i gave guided tours, and helped plan events at the museum, and worked with kids 3-12 in a drop-in studio every saturday where they could make art of their own after looking in the gallery) <- not a lot of museums do this, but you can call and ask if they need volunteer docents for the weekends !! they’ll train you!!

then i majored in art history in undergrad (making sure to focus my courses in modern and contemporary art towards the end of my studies bc that’s what i wanted to do! also i took a LOT of french classes. as in i only needed a few credits to have a minor but the last class was so hard i dropped it) to give yourself a leg up, i recommend studying a language (italian, french, spanish, german) most jobs in ARH require at least a minimal reading knowledge of another language.

while i was in school, i got a job at my university’s art museum as a gallery assistant! (<- fancy way of saying i walked around the galleries and told people not to touch the paintings and answered their questions if they asked and made sure no one was trying to steal the art)

during the summer, i got a summer internship at an art gallery in the biggest city close to my house (bc i moved back home w my parents in the summertime. uni housing was crazy expensive) and that was the *most* instrumental. i learned how to write wall texts, how to install artworks, i made studio visits to artists, updated the gallery website, handled artist contracts, you name it! it was great experience!!

i also got involved in art history/fine arts clubs at my university! i was on the fine arts council at my uni which represented the art and art history department to the student senate and the university at large. and the art historical society.

then i got my master’s degree in history of art theory and display, joined the art historical society at that university, got a degree and entered my FLOP ERA OF THE CENTURY

and by that i mean, i was 6 months unemployed and moved back home w my parents flop era. no one would hire me ,, no one would even give me a call back to tell me they didn’t wanna hire me ,,, and then one day someone did !! rahhh!!!! and i got some of my research approved 4 publishing and now im here!!!! (i say this not to discourage you but to let you know that the job market for art history ppl is tough,, it has always been tough,, but if you love it, it’s never a waste to pursue!)

i would do a few things differently if i had a second go at it, just to get a leg up so here’s some advice that im giving but i DIDNT DO myself:

1) try to minor in something to give you a leg up! a language is good, marketing is good, public relations… something to make you stand out!

2) try to get things published as an undergrad or a grad student! get your research out there if you can (way easier said than done ik ik) have some things you can list under your publications tab on your CV

3) if you find yourself in a 6+ month jobless, flop era period like me, volunteer somewhere at a museum or gallery if you are able. i was bitter as fuck that i had a masters degree and would be working at a museum for free when i needed money so i didn’t do it ,, but when someone finally calls back and you get an interview and they ask what you’ve been up to recently ,,, telling them you spend your time volunteering in museum spaces and working in your desired environment looks so much better than saying “i’ve been job searching” i promise !! (<- also just recognizing the extreme privilege i had to just stay at home and look for jobs in my desired field instead of immediately having to get a job somewhere. but im not gonna lie to you. i put out applications at olive garden and einstein’s bagels and they both rejected me. so. i was scrambling bc my student loans were due and i had zero dollars 2 my name 🧍‍♀️)

okay i rambled on for entirely tooooooo long. but i hope this was helpful somewhat !!! 💗💗

[kimbappykidding]

Imagine having a huge crush on Dahyun and your world exploding when you get a job working with her

When your company asked you to host an event you said yes. You wanted to do more to promote your group Mamamoo as you weren’t the most social member and never volunteered for anything. You had the full support of your members and your friend BTS' Jin would also be hosting. You and Moonbyul were born the same year as Jin and became friends through a group chat. You were a little shy and personalities like Jin and Moonbyul's brought you out of your shell. So having Jin around as a fellow host would really help and you heard the two of you would be partnered up too so were actually excited about it...and then a week before you heard plans had been changed and your new partner was Twice's Dahyun. "I can't do it!" you said "I can't be her partner I'll never be able to speak or get my words out properly!" you said and Jin tried to calm you down. You were outside dress rehearsals and refused to go in the room because you were freaking out having just heard the news. "Y/n it will be fine, you can do this and Dahyun will have no clue". "How can you be so sure?" you asked and Jin patted your shoulder "how would she know?" he asked you "come on Y/n the only people who know are me, Moonbyul and your members and none of us would tell her. Just act normal and you'll be fine. Plus today is just dress rehearsal so you probably won't even be near her so much". You took a breath "yeah that's true". Jin nodded "and if it gets that bad I'll ask the manager if we can be partners instead, okay?". "You'd really do that?" you asked and Jin nodded "of course! So just give today a try and we have that if we need it, okay?". "Okay" you said feeling better "you're a good friend". "I know" Jin said smiling giving you a hug "now let's do this". The reason you were freaking out was that you had a small (huge) crush on Dahyun. You found funny girls so attractive and once you saw her Eagle dance you were hooked. She was so confident and unapologetically herself. You admired her so much and so started trying to be friends with her. You got pretty close and were on the stage of nodding and saying hi to one another whenever you passed at events...and then you realised you actually wanted to date her and got scared. Romance made you nervous and the second you realised what your feelings were you took a step back because how on earth would Dahyun want someone like you? All your members and Jin told you they disagreed and thought Dahyun would be lucky to have you but you weren't convinced and you'd been avoiding her ever since. It had been pretty successful too and you'd kept it up for a year but that streak was coming to an end.

You and Jin were the last two to enter rehearsals and the session started promptly. The manager introduced you all and then asked you to get into your pairs. You shot Jin a panicked look but he patted your arm and whispered "you got this" before going to stand with his partner Chanyeol. You looked across the room and saw Dahyun watching you. She shot you a big smile when you looked over and waved. You waved back and made your way over to her. "Hi!" she cried when she saw you "I'm so pleased we're pairs! This is going to be so much fun!". You nodded trying to mimic her energy "yeah so much fun...as long as I remember all my lines". "You will! I'll help you" Dahyun insisted "we can even meet up separately if you want to practice or anything". You nodded "yeah maybe" when the scripts were passed around. "Okay so we're going to run through once with scripts, give feedback and then a few more times without scripts. Sound good?". Everyone nodded and you flicked through the booklet. You and Dahyun had 4 appearances but only two of them were proper segments. Your first one was with Jin and Chanyeol and with Jin standing on the other side of you, you got through that pretty easily. The director said you were good which was reassuring. "You clearly know your lines and have good diction so just try and have fun with it!" he told you. You nodded but saw Jin trying not to laugh and couldn't resist a smile. Then your next scene was a little later and you and Dahyun stood waiting. "Have you ever done something like this before?" she asked and you shook your head "no, honestly I'm not the most social or confident person so I've never really been in front of a crowd that wasn't our fans". "Really?" Dahyun asked "that's so surprising you seem so chill on stage". You blushed, pleased she thought that and finally returned the question "what about you?". She shrugged "I've been performing since I was little so yeah but nothing on this scale. It's a bit nerve-wracking isn't it?". You were relieved to hear her say that and nodded "yes! I'd love to be one of those people who never get nervous in front of people. Jin's like that" you said watching him charm all the managers with his segment and couldn't help smiling. "Yeah but then it'd be too easy" Dahyun joked "plus I think it's really impressive that you are still doing this even if you're not the most social. It's really brave". You smiled "thanks! Let's see how it works out" and Dahyun smiled "don't worry, we're in this together" and you looked down so she wouldn't see you blush. Then the time came for your first segment together and you had the lines memorised, until the part where Dahyun makes a joke and leans in close to you. You lost your train of thought the second you made close eye contact with her and had to be prompted by the director to continue. You decided not to look at Dahyun for the rest of the segment but afterwards, the director asked you to do it again but with more interaction! You felt like you were going to combust on the spot and every time you looked at Dahyun it took you a few seconds to get back in the swing of it. You felt like the director made you run your section forever and when he said you could stop you rushed into the crowd quickly. Dahyun found you a few seconds later "there you are, so I thought that went quite well". "Really?" you asked and she nodded "yeah! All we've got to work on is our chemistry but I mean of course! We're not going to be super close from day one". You nodded "yeah that's true" but inside was just praying she'd not see how much your hands were shaking, Your second segment run-through was better, mainly because there was less interaction with each other and then the final closing skit was fine. The director called for a quick break and Jin found you "so you're doing amazing!" he said and you rolled your eyes "we both know I choked on that segment". "Not at all!" he said "you were just a bit stiff but that's to be expected, that's why we're having this run-through. Plus you know all your lines and have a good memory so it can only get more natural". "Here's hoping!" you said.   The rest of rehearsal was pretty much the same. You were fine with your lines it was just your delivery that went out of the window whenever Dahyun looked at you. Jin drove you home afterwards and Moonbyul was waiting for you in the garden, pretending that she wasn't. She prodded a plant and then hurried over "so how did it go?". "I'll tell you, if you can tell me what that plant's called" you said and she paused "erm a succulent?". "You totally just guessed!" you said but Moonbyul just smiled "I got it right so pay up". So you and Jin sat in the garden and you sighed. "It wasn't good" you said and Jin shook his head "Y/n was a little nervous and keeps beating herself up about it" he told Moonbyul and then explained what happened. "That's not bad!" Moonbyul said when you told her about messing up with Dahyun and you shook your head "I forgot I was speaking to the Queen of lesbians and the most confident bisexual in the world" you said and Moonbyul and Jun bowed respectively, quite pleased with their titles. "But seriously Y/n it's not bad, as Jin said it's your first rehearsal! Nobody expected you to be completely charismatic and I bet so many pairs were the same". You shook your head but Jin interrupted "they were Y/n you were just so in your own head you thought you were the only awkward one". "I just hope Dahyun didn't notice or take it personally" you said and again both your friends shook their heads. "Please she's so nice and was all smiles when you left" Jin said and then he turned to Moonbyul "she even asked Y/n for her number". "Only so we can practice" you said and Moonbyul shot you a smirk making you sigh but you couldn't resist a small laugh and that made the others laugh too. The laughing alerted your members you were back and they all came to ask you how it went. After your talk with Jin and Moonbyul, your perspective changed a little and you shrugged "it was...okay I guess" which made everyone smile.   A few days later Dahyun herself texted you! She asked how you were and if you wanted to meet up to practice one evening this week. Your members all encouraged you to go and so you found yourself heading over to the Twice house to meet with your crush. Dahyun opened the door with her signature big smile and your first thought was she looked amazing even when she was just dressed casually! She was wearing white jogging bottoms and a brown top but looked so pretty and you wondered how someone looked this good when they weren't trying. Dahyun ushered you in with a hug "come in! It's so good to see you" she said and you wondered if she was always this happy and positive. "You too!" you said "I've got my script and I brought some snacks" you said holding up the bag of snacks you'd spent an hour choosing in the supermarket with Hwasa who was ready to strangle you by the end of it. "That's so sweet!" Dahyun cried "you're so wonderful" and she took your hand and led you into the house where some of her members were sat. "Hey everyone this is Y/n" she called and everyone turned to look at you. You were acutely aware of Dahyun's hand on your arm and everyone's eyes on you but managed a smile "hi everyone thanks for letting me come over". "Of course" Nayeon said "Dahyun said rehearsal went really well because you were so organised". You blushed "Oh I'm not sure about that". "Hadn't you already memorised all your lines?" Momo asked and you shrugged "mostly". "See that's the idea MC partner!" Sana said and Jihyo smiled "I know what do you even need to practice? I bet Dahyun just invited you here for fun" and several of the girls laughed so you joined in. "Okay well we're going to head into the living room and practice" Dahyun said grabbing some drinks from the fridge and pulling you away. "Your members are nice" you said and Dahyun smiled as a sigh escaped her "they're embarrassing but yes nice, right so should we get to it?". You practised all afternoon and it actually got easier to look at Dahyun's beautiful face! You still got a flutter in your stomach anytime she touched your arm but you weren't as disabilitated and could smile and say your line. It was actually getting easier with each try and by the time you broke for food, you were able to joke back a little with Dahyun! You couldn't believe it and were so excited to tell everyone. You and Dahyun rehearsed a few more times before the event finally arrived! Despite pretty much having your sections down you were nervous and just wanted to get tonight over with. You didn't even register what the stylists had given you to wear and just smiled as the girls complimented you. It was only when Dahyun gushed over you that you took in the compliments. "Wow you look beautiful!" you heard Dahyun say and turned around to see who she was speaking to. "Me?" you asked and she laughed "yes of course you, the gorgeous girl in the stunning dress". That made you go bright red and you stammered for a while before thanking her and returning the compliment. "You look beautiful of course but you always do" you said and then went pink again. Dahyun smiled "aww you're so sweet to say that, how are you feeling about tonight?". "Nervous" you admitted and Dahyun nodded "yeah me too". "Really?" you asked and when Dahyun looked you, you looked down "I just meant you always seem so confident and never seem to get nervous". Dahyun shook her head "I've got a good poker face" and you suddenly felt quite protective over her. You had friends who were good at blagging their way through things and acting like they were okay and hated how they never received any help. You'd always been unable to hide your emotions and got a lot of support...so you wanted to do that for someone else. You turned to Dahyun and gently linked arms "well it's like you said, we've got each other and we can get through this together. I'm here for you". Dahyun stared at you for a few seconds and you worried you should've asked before touching her and she was upset but then she smiled. "That's so sweet Y/n thank you" she said "I'm really glad I got to work with you on this" and you nodded "me too...I mean work with you! Not me of course!". Dahyun smiled and nodded "of course, ready to go kill it?" as the managers started gesturing to you both it was time to get ready. You nodded and with more confidence than you felt cried "let's do this!". The night passed in a blur of emotions. You felt everything from intense anxiety when your queue to go out on stage was called, to humour as you watched Jin do his bit, to pride as you closed the show with Dahyun when another duo couldn't be found. You actually couldn't believe you'd gotten through it and told Dahyun that as she hugged you, "I knew you could do it" she told you and you blinked "how? You clearly know me better than I know myself". She shrugged "we're always harder on ourselves but I've seen what you're capable of Y/n and you're a beautiful badass powerful woman!". "I couldn't have done it without you!" you told her "you were amazing Dahyun and I've always admired you. What I said earlier I wasn't being nice, I think you're incredible!". You were so caught up in the adrenaline of successfully finishing a show you were bolder than usual and you noticed Dahyun blush a little but didn't berate yourself for your words. "Wow to hear someone like you say that..." Dahyun said "I'm a little overwhelmed". You patted her arm "don't worry you don't have to say anything back" and Dahyun nodded when she was suddenly attacked. A swarm of girls descended on her and you jumped before realising it was Twice. You smiled as the girls all hugged and congratulated her and when Dahyun started chatting to them you backed up and went to find your own group. They all demanded you go out to celebrate and you agreed heading to the afterparty. "I saw you with Dahyun" Wheein smiled "was there something going on there?". You blushed "I confessed a little to her" you admitted and all four girls, who had clearly been eavesdropping, screamed. You told them to calm down but they hyped you up so much that when you did see Dahyun later you were expecting something to happen...but she seemed content with her friends and stayed away from you. As time passed, the buzz faded but still Dahyun hadn't said anything to you. You'd passed her earlier on the corridor too but she hadn't seen you apparently and didn’t make eye contact with you. So you were starting to think you'd done something wrong and Jin caught your expression "no that's the Y/n is overthinking stuff expression!" he said and you sighed and explained everything to him. Jin privately agreed that sounded odd but wasn't going to tell you that. "She's probably just stunned from tonight or tired but either way we don't know and sitting here stressing isn't going to do anything so that's not what we're going to do" Jin said and before you could ask what he meant he yanked you upwards. You protested all the way to the dancefloor but couldn't say no to Jin and soon found yourself dancing with Jin and then Exo as he pulled Chanyeol over. Jin supplied you with alcohol to keep you buzzed and after a while, you felt better again. Dahyun made your night but Jin saved it. You didn't hear from Dahyun after that night and it did hurt a little. While you hadn't confessed your feelings to her you had been more upfront with her than you ever thought possible so her silence was a slight blow. You tried not to think about Dahyun but it was hard, especially working in the same industry. You saw her or heard a Twice song at pretty much every Kpop event and finally came face to face with her a month later at the sporting event Isac.

You realised Dahyun would be at the event but still paused as you saw her. You'd told yourself you were over her now she'd unofficially rejected you but then you saw her smile and knew you still had feelings for her. Still, you told yourself to just keep moving forwards and with time your feelings for her would dim. So you kept to yourself and went about your business. You were quite athletic and managed to win a few races and the Moomoos were amazing cheering for you. You were just coming back from one of your races when a conductor asked you to wait before going across the track to sit down. You promised you'd wait and turned to watch the race when you heard a small commotion. You heard laughing and turned your head to see Dahyun standing up and facing away from the track. She was moving her arms around in weird shapes and you wondered what she was doing when you realised Dahyun was commanding the onces in the stands. Any direction she moved her arms in they followed with her light stick and she was loving it. You found her so cute and couldn't help but stare. Many other idols were also watching her and her members looked a mix of embarrassed and amused. You definitely found it funny and were smiling without even realising it. Then Dahyun suddenly turned and looked at you. You looked down embarrassed you'd been caught but when you looked back up Dahyun was still looking at you. She shot you a big smile and waved you over. You froze and asked "me?" and Dahyun laughed before nodding "of course!". Dahyun quickly took your arm and pulled you beside her "Come try it, it's so fun!" she said. Luckily moomoos were right next to onces so you copied Dahyun and the Moomoos copied you. It was actually quite fun! You could do anything and they'd copy you. You did some random movements you thought would be amusing and then started to do the opposite of Dahyun so the onces and moomoos were going in different directions. Dahyun noticed and started going faster so you had to speed up too. You didn't even have time to notice how cute she was! The two of you carried on competing, getting faster and faster until suddenly a starting gun went off and you both jumped. "The race has started" Sana explained and you and Dahyun both laughed because you'd forgotten there were even races. "I guess we should behave then" Dahyun said and she pulled you towards the seats, the Twice seats! You looked over at your members wondering if you could really just sit with Twice but nobody batted an eyelid as Dahyun pulled you to sit next to her.  "Thanks for Indulging me" Dahyun said and you smiled "thanks for inviting me. It was fun". Dahyun smiled back and then turned to watch the race. You were sat rather close together and you could feel her hair brush your arm anytime she turned. It made you indescribably happy for some reason and for a second you got the instinct to put your arm around her! You shook the thought from your head and moved away from her a little. You couldn't let your feelings make you do something reckless and had to be on your guard around Dahyun. Literally as you were thinking that, Dahyun suddenly turned to you with a smile. "so how have you been?" she asked "it's been way too long, it's a month this weekend since our partnership together" she said and you nodded surprised she remembered. "I've been good" you said and she smiled "I saw you winning all the races, how many medals do you have?" she asked looking at the array on your chest. "Only three" you said and Dahyun sighed "I don't even have one! I kept getting beaten". You paused "oh well you can have one of mine if you want?". Dahyun's face completely changed and she shook her head "oh no I wasn't fishing for one I promise". "No it's fine" you said getting the strong urge to make her happy like last time. Dahyun hesitated but when she saw you were serious she took the medal from you and smiled at you "you're so good to me". You blushed and struggled to speak "I just want you to be happy" and Dahyun beamed. "Well I always am around you" she said and she pulled you closer to her and linked arms. You were slightly taller and Dahyun hesitated to lean against you but you moved your head so she could lean against you and she actually leaned into you! Dahyun stayed nestled against you for 30 minutes until you all had to move. Even then you walked together and Dahyun kept looking at you with such a happy expression on her face. It made you wonder if the past month's worrying had all been for nothing and you wondered why Dahyun hadn't been in contact with you if she did like you. You didn't ask her though and when she queued up with Twice you waved to her and said goodbye. You went over to your members who had very wide smiles on their faces and completely missed that they were wearing the same expressions as Dahyun's members. After that, you didn't really see Dahyun and then the event ended. You didn't mind though. You were really happy with the interaction you had and were still glowing from Dahyun grabbing your arm. So you were slightly in a daze as you waited for your car but you heard giggling and then suddenly felt someone tug your hand "Hey Y/n, we're going to this restaurant downtown to celebrate Nayeon hosting" Dahyun said "it's really nice and we've booked the place out. Would you like to come? You can bring your members too!". You blinked at having her smiley beautiful face so close to yours but smiled back instinctively. "We'd love to!" you agreed and then looked at your members "sorry I just answered for us all".  Solar smiled "no you're right, we'd love to". Dahyun nodded to them and then looked at you "that's great, I'll text you the details and we'll see you there then". "You got it!" you replied and Dahyun squeezed your arm before moving away. When you arrive Twice were already there but they rushed to greet you. The girls were so friendly and you found yourself sitting next to Dahyun with Nayeon on your other side and Sana across from you. "So Y/n Dahyun tells us you're super hard working" Sana said "have you always just had amazing work ethic?". You paused "hmm not always. At school I used to get in trouble for not trying hard enough because I can be super efficient and hard-working but only for things or people I care about". For some reason Nayeon and Sana smiled widely when they heard that response and Dahyun coughed and changed the subject. "Did you know Sana got that scar from trying to grab meat too quickly?" Dahyun said and you looked from her to Sana and then to the scar. You smiled "I've done that too" and pointed to one on your forearm "but mine was pizza" and Sana grinned "great minds think alike...or act alike" she said "you know what I mean" and you nodded with a smile. "So Y/n do you have any pets?" Nayeon asked "Dahyun loves animals!". You nodded "I do too but I don't have any pets at the moment because I don't think it'd be fair to them. But I had a golden retriever growing up and I cuddle her every time I go home. She has the cutest puppy eyes, I can never say no to someone with cute eyes and I think it's because of her". Again Nayeon and Sana smiled and a thought occurred to you. "You've got a dog right? Ari?" you asked Dahyun and she smiled "yes how did you remember that?". "Because you told it me" you said confused why Dahyun thought you wouldn't remember and Sana made a high-pitched noise before Nayeon hit her. You thought she was choking and quickly passed her some water. "Are you okay?" you asked after she'd drank some and she nodded "yes thank you!". You turned back to Dahyun who was still smiling "so how is Ari?" you asked and Dahyun smiled "he's good, I've got some photos if you want to see them?". "Yes!" you said and leaned in to look at them. Once again missing the glances from pretty much everyone at the table. After you'd all eaten everyone started milling around drinking, dancing etc and it was nice. You chatted to Jhnyo and Tzuyu whom you hadn't really spoken to before and every time Dahyuun saw you she'd shoot you a big smile. Jihyo caught her doing it and laughed as you blushed. "She's so sweet" you said "I think she knows I'm not the most social person so she keeps shooting me reassuring smiles encouraging me" you explained. "Oh is that why she can't take her eyes off you?" Jihyo asked and Tzuyu smiled. You paused at Jihyo's tone and smiled "yeah at least I think that's why she's watching me...why do I have something on my face?". "No, you look beautiful Y/n" Tzuyu said and Jihyo nodded "exactly so we can't blame Dahyun for admitting you" and you went bright pink. Dahyun quickly realised if any of her members would be bold enough to confess for her it'd be Jihyo so she quickly nipped this conversation in the bud and managed to get you alone. As she walked away Jihyo mouthed "tell her" with thumbs up and Tzuyu nodded making Dahyun feel all fluttery because that was the signal that you liked her! Dahyun led you to an area outside where none of the girls were around and sighed. "Y/n I've got something to ask you and I hope you keep an open mind" Dahyun said and you nodded "okay. Whatever it is, I'm here for you". Dahyun smiled and nodded "okay well here goes...I like you". You immediately went bright pink and looked away which Dahyun hoped was a good sign. "I like you too" you said casually, trying to deflect the situation and Dahyun was tempted to pretend it was as friends but knew her members would kill her so soldiered on. "No Y/n I mean as more than friends, I have a crush on you" she said and your jaw dropped "what? Seriously?". Dahyun nodded "yeah and I thought I was so obvious!". "No you weren't" you said "I mean I'd hoped you'd liked me but I never thought you actually did" you said and Dahyuun smiled "so you return my feelings?". You nodded and Dahyun went to step closer when you froze. "Wait are you sure? What about all of last month when you ignored me? Did I do something wrong?". "No it's not that it's just...I thought you and Jin were together". "Jin from BTS?" you asked shocked and Dahyun laughed "yeah that one". "Why?" you asked and Dahyun shrugged "I guess just because you two seemed really close. You were together a lot in rehearsals, I saw you two come together and how he hugged you outside, and then you just seemed physically close as in you weren't scared to put an arm around one another or whisper and I guess I just misread the situation" Dahyun said "but you're not dating?". "God no!" you said before pausing "sorry that seems rude, Jin's lovely just I'm very gay and he's a guy". Dahyun smiled "yeah that makes sense" and you blushed at how pretty her smile was. "It's also a really big relief to hear you say that" she admitted "I thought there might be something between us but I got scared and then when I saw you dancing with Jin at the afterparty I thought you must be together. That's why I took a step back, I didn't want to get hurt but I didn't stop thinking about you". Once again you were stunned because your situations were so similar and you told Dahyun that. "No way!" she cried "wow we were just meant to be huh?" she asked. Hot Dahyun did make you feel weak at the knees but you remembered her comment about having a great poker face and reminded yourself she was all bark no bite. "I think we are" you said gently touching her waist and pulling her close "do you think it's finally time to kiss you?". Dahyun's confident mask faltered and her eyes widened as she nodded. This time she stammered before nodding "yes, please...I mean I don't mean please but you don't have to kiss me if you don't want to" she said flustered. "No I want to" you told her and showed her. After the kiss Dahyun rested against you, her arms wrapped around you. "I know I act really confident but that all melts away around you" she admitted "I can't act cool around you". You smiled "yes you can, you've been doing it the whole time! But I appreciate what you're saying, you give me a reason to be more confident...to defend you. Not that you need protecting or anything just I want to always be there for you". Dahyun went to speak and a weird noise came out of her mouth making her eyes widen in panic but you burst out laughing. This made Dahyun laugh too and you were soon in stitches. The girls came to investigate what was going on and found you clutching each other trying to stop laughing. "Dahyun is everything good?" Jeongyeon asked and Dahyun "everythings great" and took your hand. The room exploded at that and Dahyun buried her head in your shoulder giggling at the chaos she'd caused. "You're enjoying this aren't you?" you asked and she nodded "yeah a little bit, they've been telling me to ask you out for ages". You nodded "my members have been doing the same. I feel like we should get presents for finally doing it". "You're the only present I need" Dahyun said and you both laughed at her line. "Smooth" you said "can I expect more of this suave sophisticated flirting machine?" you asked and Dahyun nodded "oh yeah, you're stuck with me now" and you smiled "I can't think of anything better".

______________

My first Twice imagine! This all came from my crush on Dahyun because being funny and not caring what others think is so attractive!

I also think Jin and Moonbyul would be such a funny duo and the best friends to have. 

FYI - I took creative liberty with Moonbyul and Jin’s sexualities and I hope it goes without saying I’m not claiming they are those sexualities. Just there is nothing wrong with being bisexual or a lesbian and I always aim to have my work as diverse as possible. There is no evidence they’re not gay and so I decided to imagine they were. That’s it. 

Hope you enjoyed it and feel free to request any other female idols you’d like to see more of! 

[atinylittlepain]

Firehouse Harrington - Chapter 5

fireman!Steve x f!reader/f!oc

series masterlist

Steve is still recovering from his injuries. She's just trying to help. But tensions run high when they clash over who knows best.

warnings | 18+ SMUT, really rough sex, degradation kink, slight dubcon, also angst because, duh

a/n | wooh boy! I got a little carried away here, folks. Had the day off and couldn't help myself. get yourself a tall glass of water and sit down for a long one

“You’re healing nicely, son. I’ll send another refill script to your pharmacy for the oxycodone and I wanna see you back in a month, alright? Wanna keep an eye on those headaches you’re having.” Steve grunts out a thank you to the doctor as he’s led back to the front desk. After three weeks, he’s still not used to seeing her, sitting and waiting for him after his appointments at the VA medical center. She’s been coming with him whenever she can and he would hate to admit how much it means to him. 

She offers him a bright smile from where she’s sitting in the waiting room, a large stack of index cards in her lap. With Thanksgiving next week, her exams are fast-approaching and she’s been studying so hard it makes Steve worry that she’s working herself to the bone, and that he hasn’t exactly been helping her stress-load. Since the week after Halloween, she’s all but moved in with him, save for when her RA job or classes demand she be on campus. She’s been taking care of him, and it both amazes and terrifies Steve that she’s willing to, while all he can really do is be a human rolodex for her endless supply of flashcards. She’s been having him quiz her in the evenings, her hands around his neck and her thighs straddling his waist as she rattles off insanely-smart sounding descriptions of the brain. His girl is studying neuroscience, and his girl is going to be a doctor, and then, Steve figures, his girl isn’t going to be his girl anymore. But for now, he’ll enjoy whatever sweetness she’ll give to him.

He finishes scheduling his follow-up, turning and finding her already standing with her bag slung over her shoulder. He opens the door for her and they step out into the sharp bite of the oncoming winter. 

“Well, what did he say?” Steve’s apartment is only a few blocks away from the medical center, so they set off down the sidewalk as she asks her question.

“Said everything looks good. My next appointment is in a month, gave me another prescription for the painkillers.” He feels her hand flex in his and he knows it’s because she doesn’t like the sound of that.

“What about your headaches?” He shrugs, glancing at her and seeing the worried look on her face.

“He said he’d keep an eye on it, whatever that means.” She stops in her tracks, fully looking at him now. He just sighs.

“Steve, I really don’t like how they’re just feeding you these pills. Has anyone said anything about getting you in an MRI machine?” He huffs, tugging her along to continue walking.

“Baby, it’s fine. Nothing new, really. Once I get back to work it’ll go away on its own, it always does.” His paid-time-off is ending after Thanksgiving, and Steve is chomping at the bit to get back into the station, to her much-vocalized dismay. She stops walking again, and he tries his best to tamp down his growing frustration.

“I still think you should let me–” “No.” “Steve.”

“No. You’ve already done way too much for me. I’m not letting you do that.”

“You would be helping me out by coming in. You know I need the practice, i-it’d be killing two birds with one stone.” She had told him two weeks ago about one of her specialty courses at the university medical center, conducting brain scans and assessments that were free to volunteer patients. She had been bugging Steve about coming in ever since, but he was putting his foot down on this one.

“Hey, I’m sick of all this nagging, alright? I told you it’s fine and I meant it. Making my fucking headache worse, jesus. Just wanna get home.” He can see her face crumple at his words and his stomach twists, but he’s too pissed off and cold to really feel sorry, instead squeezing her hand and continuing their walk home. She’s silent the rest of the way.

…

Steve is really starting to worry her. At first, he had seemed to be making a change, being endlessly sweet with her, letting her take care of him, even opening up a bit about his life. She knows his concussion symptoms are lasting well within a normal amount of time, but it seems like some of them are getting worse. He’s been more irritable, more reactive, his headaches are endless, but he won’t listen to a word she says about it. She had talked to Robin over the phone about it, and she had told her his irritability could also be stemming from the impending holiday. Steve wasn’t exactly on good terms with his family, something he had only hinted at to her, and hadn’t been home for Thanksgiving or Christmas in five years. As a result, he turned into a bit of a scrooge (Robin’s words) the instant that the holiday season kicked up.

Perhaps more than anything though, she doesn’t understand why he’s so eager to get back to work after he nearly died on the job. She had actually started inquiring at her school about admittance for veterans, reading whatever information she could get her hands on. It’d be practically free at a state school like Indiana University, with vets nearly sure to be accepted. She hadn’t yet broached the subject with him, knowing it’d probably lead to a huge blowout argument, but she had convinced him to do Thanksgiving with her, just the two of them, and was planning to get him good and sedated on turkey and stuffing before bringing it up.

When they get back to his place after his appointment, he barely looks at her, mumbling that he’s going to lie down for a while. She already knows he’s going to be looking for his bottle of oxycodone, which she had flushed down the toilet that morning. She had talked to one of her supervising professors about the medication, posing questions from a place of clinical curiosity, and had learned just how wickedly potent the stuff was. Steve shouldn’t have been on it for more than a week max, and it was now coming up on a month of doctors filling the prescription for him. She had decided then and there that she was going to get him off it, kicking and screaming if she had to. 

She sits down on the couch, pressing her fingers into her temples and waiting for his inevitable question about where his pills are. She can hear him rummaging in the bathroom, and then in the nightstands in his bedroom. All of the sudden, his movements still, and she can hear his bare feet padding back into the living room. Her heart sinks when she sees that he’s holding the pamphlets she had gathered about veteran’s admission to IU in his hand. She must have left them in the nightstand on her side of his bed. Shit. His expression is cool, steeled, as he waves the pamphlets in front of her.

“Care to tell me what this is?” Her mouth had gone completely dry, and a thickness settled in her throat. 

“Um, I– um–” He cuts her off, shuffling over to stand in front of her, bending at the waist to get in her space. 

“Um, um, um. C’mon, miss college. Thought you were a big girl. Use your words.” He’s practically sneering at her with the way he’s talking and it makes her feel impossibly small under his flashing gaze. She gulps a deep breath, trying to steady herself.

“Steve, I’m just trying to help–” He scoffs, standing back upright and starting to pace the floor.

“You think you know what’s best for me? Think you’re so much smarter than me, huh? Gotta help your poor, stupid boyfriend get along, is that it?” She shakes her head vigorously, going to stand but he’s back on her in an instant, resting his hands on the back of the couch to cage her between his arms. She shrinks back into the seat.

“That’s not what I think, Steve. I-I just want you to have options, that’s it! All I did was ask around in the admissions office, it doesn’t mean a-anything, baby. I just thought it’d be helpful for you.” He lets out a humorless laugh, his sharp eyes fixing her in place. 

“Well it’s not. Quit trying to mess with shit you don’t understand.” With that he’s turning heel so fast it makes her choke, storming back into the bedroom. A beat later she starts hearing loud clattering.

“Where are my fucking pills? Goddamnit!” She jumps in her seat at his roaring words, punctuated by the sound of what she assumes is one of his nightstands getting thrown on the floor. She sits there for a moment trying to steady her breathing, the continuous sounds of slamming drawers and muttered curses coming from Steve causing her heart to jump. Finally, all the commotion stills and she thinks to herself that she liked it better when he was at least making sound.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she slowly stands, inching towards the bedroom on tenterhooks. She holds onto the doorframe, peering into the room. Both nightstands are tipped onto the floor, their drawers skewed open and the contents strewn on the floor. The wooden bureau that sits across from Steve’s bed has been shoved a few inches out of place, its drawers all open and the clothes usually neatly folded inside in various states of spilling out. Steve’s sitting on the edge of the bed, tugging harshly at the roots of his hair, his chest heaving. She really doesn’t want to do what she’s about to have to. She inches into the room, kneeling down in front of him to try to catch his gaze. She reaches out for him but he swats her hand away.

“Don’t. Fuck, baby. Don’t know where I put my damn pills. I-I need ‘em so bad right now.” His voice is a broken grumble and she feels a sharp twinge in her stomach at his words. It’s time to rip the band-aid off.

“Steve, baby? I know your head’s hurting, but you can’t keep taking those, ok? Why don’t I get you some advil?  I know it’s not the same, but we can do that combined with tylenol and it should start to help.” He finally looks at her, and the anger in his eyes is breathtaking, causing her to sit back on her haunches.

“What did you do with them?” She takes a sharp breath in, watching Steve’s knuckles go white where he’s still tugging at his hair. She’s not going to let him scare her, not on this. She squares her shoulders, slowly standing in front of him. She hates that there’s still a warble in her voice when she finally speaks.

“I-I threw them away, Steve. They’re no good for you, and that has become painfully clear this afternoon.” His jaw goes slack at her words, but he quickly catches himself, swallowing hard and glaring up at her.

“Well, that’s not really your decision to make, sweetie.” He stands, brushing past her out towards the front door, starting to toe on his shoes. She follows dumbly behind him.

“Where are you going?” He doesn’t even glance at her, already shrugging on his coat.

“The pharmacy. Gonna get my new prescription since someone has to make everything so goddamn difficult.” She swallows hard.

“I-I called the pharmacy this morning too. Told them that under no circumstances should they fill any more oxy scripts for you. Steve, please–” He lets out a bark of laugh that startles her where she stands, whistling low as he finally sizes her up.

“You are something else, bunny. Really think you know better than me, don’t ya?” He’s started slinking towards her, causing her to back up until she’s pressing up against the wall. He presses a forearm up by her temple, leaning into her. She’s trying to not dissolve on the spot.

“Steve, that’s not what this is about. I-I talked with one of my professors about those pills. He told me it's some of the nastiest stuff out there. People get addicted to them all the time. Please, I just wanna help you.” His other hand has come down to grip her hip harshly, his fingers flexing into the skin and sure to leave bruises.

“Stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong and stop trying to play doctor on me. You wanna help? Here’s how you can help. If you’re so hell-bent on taking away my pills, my relief, I think it’s only fair you make it up to me, don’t you?” She’s trying to steady her breathing, but can’t help the light gasps that rise as Steve nudges the slope of her neck with his nose. He harshly grabs her jaw, forcing her gaze to focus on his steely expression. She hates that there’s already a simmering heat trailing down her spine.

“Words, now.” 

“O-okay, Steve. I’ll m-make it up to you, w-whatever you want, baby. I’m s-s-sorry.” His smile is slick, not reaching his eyes.

“Want you on your knees, pretty. Can you do that? Be good for me and do what you’re told, for once.” 

“Yes, Steve–” He cuts her off with a sharp squeeze to her jaw that makes her whimper.

“Not my name. Not right now.” 

“Yes, daddy. I’ll be good for you.” Part of her wants to leave, just grab her bag and go. But she’s fixed to the spot by the way he’s looking at her. She figures it’ll be quick, a rough blowjob and then Steve will finally calm down, so she complies, kneeling down in front of him while he starts working at his belt buckle.

She goes to reach for his hips when he starts to unzip his jeans but he immediately swats her hands away.

“Uh-uh. You don’t get to touch. You don’t even get to think. That pretty head of yours has done enough thinking for a while. Just gotta sit there, open your mouth, and take it, you understand?” She nods as he comes behind her, drawing both her wrists back. When she feels the soft leather of his belt circling her wrists she shudders. She winces when he tugs the loop tight.

“C’mon, if you’re so smart why don’t you use your fucking words?” She gasps when he pulls on the belt, making her fall back onto her ass, her back crashing into his heaving chest.

“Yes, daddy. I understand.” Her voice doesn’t sound like her own anymore, entering that higher, breathier register that she knows only Steve can draw out. He grunts at that, squeezing her hips to help her back onto her knees before he’s getting up and coming back in front of her. He slips his jeans and boxers down just enough to tug his cock out, already hard as he fists himself. Stepping forward, he cards his fingers through her hair, tugging harshly to tilt her face up towards him.

“Open your mouth, bunny. You better be good for me.” She complies, letting her jaw slacken and Steve’s on her in an instant, forcing his thick cock past her lips as he holds onto her hair for leverage. She can’t help the small, sputtering chokes that come out around his length as he already begins fucking her mouth, getting deeper with each thrust. Normally, he’d give her time to work her way up to taking all of him, it wasn’t exactly an option to just go for it with his length if she didn’t want to gag. But Steve didn’t seem too concerned with that today, already grazing her throat with his tip. 

“Fuck– that’s perfect– just take it, bunny– s’what your pretty little mouth is made for– don’t want you thinking– shit– or talking– just keep your lips around my cock all the time, huh?” She can’t exactly respond to his degrading words with the way he’s dragging her mouth up and down his cock, his fist in her hair guiding her. But she guesses he’s not really looking for a reply.

“What would your little egghead professors think– shit, take it– if they knew their star student spent her time sucking dick like a f-fucking whore, huh?” His words sting, but she hates to admit that they send a clenching ache right through her core too. Unfortunately, Steve seems to notice the way her thighs are clenching at his words and he lets out a jeering laugh.

“Aw, you like that, bunny? You like it when I call you a whore, huh? Guess you’re not as smart as you think you are, just a dumb slut for her daddy’s cock.” His thrusts are unrelenting, now hitting the back of her throat everytime, causing her to gag and sputter around his cock. She can’t help but wriggle her arms against the belt confining them, trying to find some purchase as he uses her mouth but with no success. On the next thrust, Steve’s hips still with his cock down her throat, her nose crushed up against his pelvis. Drool is dripping down her chin as she chokes around him. He just holds her there, and she starts to panic, trying to fight against the hold he has in her hair.

“You don’t need air, do you, pretty? Just need my cock down your throat, right? S’all you need, you stupid slut.” He finally relents, pulling out of her mouth and she’s a wheezing mess, coughing out exhales as she hunches over her shivering body. He’s still hard, but he tucks himself back into his boxers, watching her reel on the floor. Before she can catch her breath, he’s hauling her up by her armpits and pressing her back against the wall, her hands still bound behind her. The way he holds her jaw, fingers skating over her cheeks, is startlingly tender as he drinks in her cockdrunk appearance. His voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks.

“Look at you, bunny. So pretty for me.” Something in her snaps, her lip starting to wobble as tears pool over her lashes. Steve sighs and she shivers under his delicate touch as he wipes away the first tears to fall.

“What’s got you crying, baby? I don’t like it when you cry, at least not very much.” His grin is sardonic and entirely patronizing as he watches her crumble. She’s trying to stifle the sobs that want to flood her body, her words coming out on heavy shudders.

“You’re s-s-so mean, Steve. I-I j-j-just wanted to h-h-help you.” He tuts, drawing his fingers under her chin to tilt her eyes up to his.

“Aw, you did help, pretty. You and that perfect little mouth of yours. And you know what else? I think you liked it.” With that, he wrenches one of his hands into the front of her jeans, cupping her cunt and stroking harshly through her folds. She lets out a broken gasp at his brutal movement. Steve just chuckles.

“See, bunny? You’re fucking soaked. All because daddy fucked your little throat, huh?” He easily slips two fingers into her, curving them in a way that makes her let out a long, preening cry. She stumbles in his grip, pressing her forehead into his shoulder as he starts fucking her with his fingers.

“P-please, daddy, it’s too much.” He scoffs in her ear, not letting up with his relentless thrusts.

“I know what’s too much for you, bunny. Daddy knows what’s best, right?” When she doesn’t answer, his other hand comes down in a harsh crack on the outside of her thigh and she yelps.

“Y-yes, daddy. You know w-what’s best!” She can feel his smile in her hair as he abruptly removes his fingers, causing her to slump in his hold.

“Atta girl, I think that little brain of yours is finally starting to get it right.” She can’t tell where the pleasure ends and the pain from his words begins, but she knows that the more he says, the more poison that drips off his tongue, the smaller she feels in his grip. Holding her in his arms, he walks them over to the couch, facing her towards the arm rest and bending her over it, her cheek smearing into one of the cushions. Her arms are still bound behind her back and she’s all but given up tugging at them, but Steve seems to notice her squirming.

“If I take the belt off will you be good for me, bunny?” 

“Yes– yes, I will, daddy– please– be so good for you.” He shushes her, laying a kiss in the middle of her spine before finally unwinding the belt from her wrists. She flexes her hands, whimpering at the ache that’s already set into her joints. Steve presses a kiss to both of her wrists and she can’t help the shudder that runs through her at his gentle movements.

“There you go, baby. I know it hurts, I’m sorry. Gonna make you feel so much better.” His hands snake under her waist, undoing her jeans before sliding them down her legs. His rough palms splay over the swell of her ass, squeezing the flesh and making her gasp.

“Daddy’s gonna make you feel good, bunny. I promise. But, I just don’t think you’ve quite learned your lesson.” She jolts at that, craning her neck to look at him.

“No– I have! I promise I have, daddy!” He chuckles, catching her off guard when he lands a harsh smack to her ass that sends her lurching forward into the couch.

“You saying you know better than daddy, baby?” She shakes her head, burying her face into her forearms.

“N-no, daddy. Just don’t want it to hurt.”

“Aw, pretty, you won’t learn if it doesn’t hurt, yeah?” He runs his palms up and down her spine, a soothing before the storm.

“Tell you what. Since you’re being so good for me now, we’ll just do five alright? No belt, just my hand.” That’s a small mercy. She hates when he uses the belt, and he knows it. She sighs, nodding her acceptance.

“Does that first one count?” He chuckles, hands squeezing her hips.

“I don’t think so, pretty. That one was a warning, these five are punishment. You think your little brain can handle counting them for me?” She huffs at that, he’s twisting an already deep knife in her gut, but she nods.

The first blow is quick and she yelps out “one!” For a while after, he just rubs his palms on her ass to the point that her legs start trembling in anticipation. He abruptly lands the second and third in the same spot and she shrieks out the count. She already knows that he’s aiming to leave a mark. The fourth and fifth come quick too and she’s been reduced to a mess in the aftermath. Tears are streaming down her face and her whole body shivers under his touch, but she can also feel the wetness smearing across the inside of her thighs. Steve leans over her, draping his warm chest across her back and she reaches a hand back to grab onto his thigh.

“Did so good for me, baby. My good girl, huh?” He presses a kiss into her temple before he hoists her up, keeping her back pressed to his chest as she’s all but slack in his arms. He helps her step out of her jeans and panties, turning her around in his arms and letting her clasp her hands around his neck. She’s mute in his hold, pressing her face into his neck as his hands slide down her thighs to hoist her legs around his hips. 

He pads into the bedroom, laying her down across his bed and slotting himself between her legs. She brings her hands to the hem of his shirt and he gets the hint, sitting back and shucking it off over his head. She thinks that she’ll never get used to it, seeing him bare. There’s strange scars along his abdomen, she assumes from previous burns, but he’s still the prettiest thing she’s ever seen, all tan muscle and the sweetest little freckles. He motions for her to sit up, slipping her shirt off when she does before pressing them both back into the mattress in a harsh kiss. His tongue invades her mouth immediately, wrapping her senses in a hazy fog of him. He pulls away with a hot gasp.

“Need to be inside you, baby. Need your pussy so bad.” She just sighs out his name, watching him lean back to tug his cock out of his boxers before dropping the heavy tip against her folds. She whines when he draws the head of his cock through her cunt, her wetness smearing over the length of him.

“Tell me you want it, pretty. Tell me you want me.” He dips into her entrance and she gasps at the feeling.

“I want it, Steve, please– want you now.” He rolls his hips forward in one smooth thrust that sends her reeling, her hands clinging to his back as she cries out at being entirely full with him. He groans into her neck, quickly finding a steady rhythm as he fucks into her.

“Fuck– pussy’s made for me, baby– so perfect– just take it.” He brings one hand down to toy with her clit and it makes her hips buck up into his as she chokes on his name.

“Come for me, pretty– need it so bad– you better fucking come right now.” Her release sneaks up on her and then she’s falling hard, spasming around his dick and digging her nails into his back. He isn’t far behind her, fucking her through her high before he thrusts into her one final time and spills inside her with a shivery groan. They’re both panting, laying entangled in a hazy stillness as they come down. The ache is already coming back into focus, in her wrists and along the swell of her ass. She winces hard when he finally pulls out. 

He had certainly gotten her good and fucked out, but she’s all too quickly coming out of the haze, all the dark things he said resting heavy on her chest until it feels like she can’t breathe. She goes to get up, but he’s quick to stop her, bringing his hands to her shoulders to press her back.

“Woah, easy, baby. Just lemme take care of you.” She shakes off his hands, dipping under his hold to stand and shuffle into the bathroom. 

“‘I’m fine, Steve. Just– give me a minute.” She scrubs her hands down her face before turning in the mirror to take in the sight of her mottled ass. Sure enough, there’s a perfect, blotchy, red handprint across her one cheek, it even looks like he broke skin around the edges. There’s little bruises dotting her hips as well from where he had dug his fingers in, and she hisses as she runs her fingers over them. It’s then that she catches sight of her wrists in the mirror, rubbed red and raw from his belt. Normally, she enjoyed this kind of thing, evidence of a good session with Steve. But right now, the sight of her weary body coupled with his words still swirling in her head just makes her want to cry. 

“Baby?” She’s startled out of her thoughts by Steve’s hoarse voice. He’s leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest and a furrowed look across his face. She sighs, not quite able to meet his gaze as she brushes past him back into the bedroom. He’s following behind her mutely as she grabs her shirt, quickly pulling it back on before walking out into the living room to get her panties and jeans. She’s sliding her pants up her legs when he finally speaks again.

“W-what are you doing?”

“I think I should go, Steve.”

“What? What do you mean? Baby, I– you need someone to take care of you, lemme look at those bruises.” He goes to reach for her but she flinches, stepping back away from him. He stops dead in his tracks.

“All that shit that you said, did you mean it?” He gives her a confused look, but she presses on.

“Steve, your words really hurt me. All that talk about me being your stupid slut. I-It felt different, it felt like you meant it.” He swallows hard.

“I was just angry, baby. I didn’t mean that shit. You just– you caught me off guard with those– those fucking pamphlets– and then the pills. I overreacted, I–”

“I can’t keep doing this, Steve!” His face crumples in an instant at her words, and when he speaks, his voice is so small it makes her breath catch.

“Can’t keep doing what?” She huffs, throwing her arms out in frustration.

“This! All I wanna do is help you and all you wanna do is push me away. It’s-it’s absurd. Why you won’t stop being so fucking stubborn is beyond me. But then, you just get so nasty about it, so mean.” She lets out a bitter laugh, sitting down on the edge of the couch and holding her head in her hands.

“And the worst part is, I let you be that way to me. I keep trying to help you and you keep lashing out at me a-and I can’t take it anymore, Steve. I just can’t.” Her words seem to have left him speechless, he just stands there, his eyes searching her face. She huffs, standing and heading towards the front door. It’s silent as she shrugs on her coat and puts on her shoes, sliding her bag up her arm. When she goes to open the door, however, his large hand comes into view, pressing the door shut. She turns around to tell him off, but chokes on her words when she sees his face. His eyes are swimming in tears, his expression completely crumpled.

“Please don’t go, baby. I’m sorry– I’m so sorry. You know I didn’t mean any of that stuff I just– I got freaked out, ok?” She pinches the bridge of her nose with her fingers, squeezing her eyes shut to keep from crying anymore.

“You say that every time this happens, Steve. I can’t keep believing what’s obviously a lie.” And then, Steve does something she couldn’t have expected in a million years. He gets down on his knees in front of her.

“I swear it’s not a lie this time, I swear. I-I’ll go to a shrink like you want me to– I won’t take anymore of those pills, just– please don’t fucking leave me, baby. You-you’re so good a-and so smart and– I love you, I really fucking love you.” It’s the first time he’s said it, and she wishes more than anything that it had been under any other circumstance. For a moment, she wonders to herself how she got here, in only three months, completely entangled with this broken man. She’s startled out of her thoughts when he wraps his arms around her hips, burying his face into her stomach. 

“Please, baby. You know I need you.” She tentatively rests her hand in his hair, feeling the way he slackens against her at the contact. She draws her fingers through his hair firmly, tilting his head back to look at her. She lets out a long sigh.

“Listen to me, Steve Harrington. This is it. I swear to god if you’re lying, if anything like today happens again? I’m gonna leave and I’m never gonna come back.” His eyes go wide at her words and he’s quick to get on his feet, cupping her face in both his palms.

“I promise, it’s never gonna happen again. Gonna be better for you. Love you so much, baby.” She lets him press a damp kiss to her lips before pulling back. 

“Will you let me take care of you now, pretty?” She nods, having to admit that her skin is smarting under the rough material of her jeans. He gives her a sweet smile before taking her hand and leading her back into his bedroom.

…

She swears she could get whiplash from how quickly Steve can change, going so sweet on her the second he has her laid back out on his bed. He gently peels her jeans down her legs, having her turn over onto her stomach while he rubs aloe lotion into her welts, murmuring apologies as he works. He thumbs at her wrists before kissing each, letting her turn onto her side while he slides behind her, wrapping her up in his arms. She’s exhausted from everything and falls asleep easily, moored by the steady rise and fall of his solid chest pressed into her back. 

When she wakes up, it’s much later, the sun already setting on the city. Steve stirs behind her, grumbling into her neck.

“Can you stay tonight?” She hums her affirmation. She’s off RA duty until tomorrow and doesn’t have morning classes either, she can stay. Steve sighs. Her voice is hoarse when she speaks.

“How’s your head?” He groans.

“Hurts. I’ll take some advil.” Relief floods through her system that he really has seemed to drop the prescription debate. 

“You can probably take a higher dose than normal, just for a little while before it starts getting better.” He sighs again, a seeming acceptance of her words. She wills herself to believe that it will get better.

“You hungry, baby?” She hums another yes to his question, turning in his arms to look at him.

“Should probably get something in you before you take anything too.” 

They order takeout from her favorite spot, something Steve does every time he’s had to apologize to her. She’s had a lot of takeout in the last three months. She hopes this time really is different.  

[ornii]

My Better Bitter Half, Part 9

Part 9: Pilgrimage

“Let's assess, shall we? Bag over my head for optimal disorientation, wrists tied tight enough to cut off circulation, and no idea if I'm going to live or die. It's definitely my kind of party.”

(Y/n) and Wednesday, twins were bagged and dragged into a dark decrepit hole unbeknownst of their location.

“Who dares breach our inner sanctum?” A haunting voice comes out, their masks were suddenly taken off as they look around, and realize they’re still in the library.

“You can take the mask off, Bianca.” Wednesday says.

“And just like that, my hopes were dashed against the rocks of bitter disappointment. My foe was no psychotic killer. More like a bunch of high school clowns.” Wednesday thinks as they remove their masks

“Wait, I preferred you with it on.” Wednesday said.

“How did you get down here?” One asks

“Rowan” (Y/n) chimes in. “She tracked the watermark to the Poe statue. Then I solved the riddle.”

“Wait, there's a riddle?” One asks, “I thought we just snapped twice.”

“Wow, absolute Einstein here” (y/n) says with his burning sarcasm.

“The Nightshades are an elite social club.

Emphasis on elite.” Bianca said.

“We have roof parties, campouts, the occasional midnight skinny-dip. And Yoko's an amateur mixologist. She makes a killer virgin mojito. It can get pretty wild.” One girl adds in.

“Wow. Do you guys even have a bedtime?” Wednesday said with her cold sarcasm

“Last I heard, the Nightshades had been disbanded.” (Y/n) said.

“Yeah, the group kind of lost its charter 30 years ago after some normie kid died.” Xavier says

“But we have a lot of wealthy alumni, so Weems looks the other way as long as nobody makes any waves.”

“Someone like Rowan?” Wednesday adds in.

“We booted that loser last semester. Question is, what are we gonna do with them? Only members are allowed in this library.” Bianca says, and Xavier comes up with an idea.

“I say we invite them to pledge. They’re Addams, both legacy.” He explains.

“After the crap they pulled in the Poe Cup, there's no way in hell.”

“Are you mad we beat you at your own game? Let me save you the trouble glow fish.” He stands up and reveals his undone bindings.

“I'm not interested in joining, and I’m sure my sister isn’t.”

“You're seriously turning us down?” One says.

“Yes Because your little social club is so inviting.” He walks to the door, but is stopped by Kent, the mermaid and the twin of Divina.

“If you think the little burns you had at the Cup were bad, I’ll fillet you alive, get out of my way.” (Y/n) says with such unnerving calmness, Kent awkwardly side stepped and (Y/n) turned to Wednesday.

“When you’re done toying with them, let me know.” He heads up the flight of stairs to leave his more than capable sister there.

Minutes later he’s awaiting at the gate of the school, and his sister arrives.

“Good, you’re done playing with them, we can figure out our next move.” (Y/n) says.

“It seems the Nightshades were a dead end. They’re not capable of murdering Rowan, they’re barely capable of kidnapping two people.”

“Well your Standards are unnaturally high.” He says and nudges his sister, she stares at him and he walks back to his dorm, Wednesday watches her leave.

“There were so many threads to my investigation, I could weave a burial shroud. I still have no idea how Rowan mysteriously rose from the dead. Or why that monster is prowling the woods. But right now, nothing intrigues me more than this book. If I'm going to be responsible for Nevermore's demise, the question is, why am I sharing this apocalypse with a pilgrim?”

The next morning, The Students Are forced to stand at the Quad as Weems gives them the rundown for their Jobs.

“All students will report for their volunteer jobs at 10:00 a.m. sharp, followed by a community lunch at 1:00. As you know, this year Outreach Day culminates in a very special event, the dedication of a new memorial statue in the town square, which will also include performances by Nevermore students. As representatives of our school, I trust you will all put your best face forward.” She says, and hands out slips of paper for the Postions they’ll play. The Addams twins and Enid get theirs.

“Yes! I got Pilgrim World!” Enid says and (Y/n) checks it.

“Me too.” He ways, “I have natural people skills and a love of performing, so it's kind of the obvi choice.” Enid says, and grabs (Y/n)‘s arm.

“We can wear matching clothes!” Enid says smiling, which quickly changes the sullen demeanor of (Y/n). Who smiles.

“ I suppose I don’t hate that…” he says softly, and Enid turns to Wednesday.

“What'd you get?”

“Uriah's Heap, whatever that is.” She said, the students convey to Jericho to assist at Pilgrim world

“Ew. It's this weird, creepy antique store.” Enid says. “You'll love it though. I'm crossing my claws Ajax and I will be outreaching together.” Enid says, which (Y/n)‘s smile quickly Fades.

“Fantastic.” He walks off, and Weems has reached the front and begins.

“Welcome, welcome, Nevermore Academy.

Now, on behalf of the entire Jericho community, we are so, so pleased to have you all here today. Your generosity and hard work are truly... outreachous! Okay, everyone. We'll see you back here at one o'clock for lunch. Enjoy!” Weems says, (Y/n) adjusts his tie, ready to Woo Enid and make her forget about Ajax, as Enid prepares, Wednesday approaches her.

“Enid. Switch volunteer assignments.”

“What? No. Uriah's Heap is definitely not my bag.”

“It's an emergency. I need to check out Pilgrim World.”

“But Wednesday, this is not a fair trade. Why would I agree to spend the entire day at some dumpy emporium of crapola?”

“Because Ajax is volunteering there. Thing sneaked a peek at his assignment. But if you're not interested...” Wednesday begins to retract, but Enid grabs it.

“No! Oh my God, thank you. You're the best!” Enid skips away, (Y/n) stands with the ground, he turns left as he senses the approach of a woman, he turns with a smile to face enid but he unfortunately sees Wednesday.

“Wednesday? Where’s enid? You didn’t hurt you did you?”

“No, she swapped assignments with me.”

“Uh, why?” He asks, “She hates all things creepy.”

“Ajax is working at the Heap. That convinced her.” Wednesday says, (Y/n) was at a loss for words, the anger and disappointment was at a maximum as he lost his chance to possibly sweep Enid off her feet.

“I would have preferred Enid.” He says.

“I still cannot comprehend what you see in Her.”

“You don’t understand the Human emotional spectrum? I’m so shocked.” He says with sarcasm. “I’d like to spend time with women who aren’t related to me, unless you just don’t want Enid to snatch me away from you~”

“You are absurdly full of yourself, She’s After Ajax, do yourself a favor and accept cold reality. Wednesday says, He opens his mouth to say something less than appealing to his sister, but Eugene intervenes.

“Hey, Wednesday, want to grab a Hummers group photo?” He says, standing in the frame and the twins turn to face him, now both of them with the same stone face.

“Guess not.” Eugene says sheepishly as he walks away, suddenly, a woman approached, dressed as a Pilgrim.

“Good morrow, my young Nevermore kin. I am Mistress Arlene. A real OC. Original colonist. Now prithee, put your cell phones on vibrate and make haste, for you are about to travel back in time to the year of our Lord 1625, to Jericho's first pilgrim settlement. Yonder. Behold, the meeting house. Inside is a collection of artifacts related to Jericho's most beloved and pious founder, Joseph Crackstone. And beyond is our privy, America's first gender-neutral restroom.” She says, “Does anyone have a question about the bathrooms?” (Y/n) begins to raise his hand but Wednesday puts it back down.

“I haveth a query.” Wednesday said.

“Pray, be quick, child.”

“In the meeting house, which of Joseph Crackstone's artifacts are on display?”

“It is truly a treasure trove, including original farm tools, tableware, even the Crackstone family chamber pot.”

“Sounds fascinating. My Brother and I volunteer to work in there.”

“Pray, no. That exhibit is being renovated.

Today, thou will all be working at the beating heart of Pilgrim World. Ye olde fudgery!” She says, and shows the children a Fugde production shop

"Ye Olde Fudgery?" (Y/n) says, raising an eyebrow.

“More like ye olde diabetes in a box.” His sister retorts.

“Volunteers, prick up thine ears. Fudge is the lifeblood of our humble community. And samples equal sales, so grab a uniform and a box and make our forefathers proud.” She says. And adults hand out pieces of the uniforms.

“Are these for muzzling tourists?” Wednesday says.

“No, perhaps we can use them for muzzling troublesome siblings.” (Y/n) thinks.

The twins unfortunately put on a perfect facade of creepy pilgrims as (Y/n) stands there with a plate of Fudge, and Wednesday next to him.

“Enjoy your "authentic" pilgrim fudge made with cacao beans procured by the oppressed indigenous people of the Amazon. All proceeds go to uphold this pathetic whitewashing of American history.” She says in fluent German.

(In French) “Also, fudge wasn't invented for another 258 years. But please, continue to fuel this soulless corporation with your money so your children can still call Native Americans “Indians” (Y/n) says in perfect French.

“Any takers?” They say in Union, which creeps out the tourists and they leave. He calmly tosses the plate over his shoulder.

“This is getting ridiculous.” He says, Wednesday looks around and eyes the door she wishes to enter and walks off, (Y/n) follows, eventually the duo reach the door and Wednesday, using her oddly knowledgeable skill of breaking and entering unlocks the door and heads inside, he follows closely and the duo see the house, it was obviously turned into a museum, displaying multiple items

“My grandmother once told me secrets are like zombies... they never truly die. I'm not sure what secret Crackstone is hiding, but I have a strange feeling the answers to my future lie in the past. The Old Meeting House, 1625.”

“(Y/n), this is the girl from my vision. She's even holding the same book. That black one she had outside Crackstone's crypt.” Wednesday says, and (Y/n) turns to see a book on display.

“Codex Umbrarum. Book of Shadows." He opens it, and sees it all Empty. “Great. It's a fake.” He checks the back of it as his sister peers over his shoulder.

“I don't know who Etsy is, but I doubt she was an outcast settler.”

“No, she wasn’t.” He says, their investigation was suddenly sidelined as Arlene sees them.

“Just what the fudge are you two doing in here?” She says,

“Mistress Arlene.“ (y.n) said, “I proclaimed the meeting house is under repair.” She says “I know thoust heard me.”

“We don’t have firm for this. What happened to the original?” (Y/n) says, and Arlene frowns

“A child unknowing to respect thine elders, The original was stolen last month during the two o'clock witch trial.”

“It was probably the only authentic thing you have in here, yet you still charge $29.95 a ticket?” Wednesday says.

“Hold thy tongue. I'm reassigning you both.

To fudge-churning duty.”

“The original meeting house, the one in that painting, where is it?”

“How the hell should I know?

I only moved here from Scottsdale in April.” She says dropping the attitude.

“Fantastic, we’ll have to find it ourselves, I’ll ask around.” (Y/n) says.

“Ask who? No one living knows—“

“Exactly, no one living. Now If you’ll excuse me sister.” He says to Arlene, she frowns and walks off.

Back at Nevermore, (Y/n) sits cross legged in an Ally, with Wednesday watching guard, she turns to face him.

“Have you found the information yet?” She asks, his head suddenly jerks back and then forth and he opens his eyes, Gasping for air.

“I, think I do…” he says, and walks off into the forest, almost zombie like, they reach a burned down building, they search but, find nothing.

“Can you touch a leaf or something and get a vision?” (Y/n) asks.

“No, I can't just touch something. My visions seem to happen spontaneously.”

“Mother could help you learn some of the power”

“I would rather dye my hair pink than ask mother for advice.”

“Why am I not surprised, Maybe You’re Just afraid to see a vision.” He says sarcastically.

“Oh, you want me to prove it to you?” She says and grabs random items

“No. Nothing. Ah, I bet this will give us some real insight.” She says holding a Taco Bell bag..

“My visions are about as predictable as shark attacks.” Wednesday touched the gate and immediately stiffens up and convulses. (Y/n) rushes to her side and grabs her.

“Wednesday? Wednesday?!” He yells, she seems to be lost in a vision, and (Y/n) takes her away.

Minutes pass inside his room, he had a circle drawn around Wednesday, using his otherworldly skills to try and assist his sister, but her body suddenly awakens and she sits up.

“(Y/n), I saw her! The girl from my visions.

Her name is Goody Addams, and I believe she's our ancestor from 400 years ago.”

“Okay, but what does that have to do with Crackstone?

“I saw Joseph Crackstone in front of me as clearly as I'm seeing you now. He gathered all the outcasts in the meeting house and burned them alive.”

“I see, I see.. so that’s why they’re connected, Joseph killed Goody. Then Crackstone has to do with what’s going on… well, we have to think about this later, we have the concert to perform at? I assume Weems told you.

“Unfortunately so.”

“I thought nothing scared me, but that was before I stared into the eyes of Joseph Crackstone. I don't believe in heaven or hell. But I do believe in revenge. I usually serve it warm with a side of pain, but I've never faced an adversary cast in bronze.”

The Addams Twins are with other students in Jericho, preparing for the Band, but (Y/n)’s guitar skills were unmatched. But his sisters cello ability was unmatched. Weems approaches the podium.

“Thank you. It is my honor to celebrate our town's history and Jericho's noble forefather, Joseph Crackstone. Now, he believed that with a happy heart and an open ear, there was nothing our town couldn't achieve. So together as one, our community and our friends at Nevermore Academy, we've built a monument to celebrate his memory. Now, may the spirit of Joseph Crackstone be memorialized for eternity.” She says as they reveal the Statue of Crackstone, which begins to flow water.

The band begins playing of "Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac and the crowd cheers, but (Y/n) was still miffed by his loss of possibly wooing Enid.

The crowd cheers, but their cheers quickly turn to horror as an explosion bellows from the statue, it seems someone swapped the water with gasoline, and all it took was a single match. Screams, terror, fear rang though the center, but what truly took the eye of most was the hellish screeches of an electric guitar, and a cello, as the twins play a harrowing version of Vivaldi's "Winter" as the guitars strings bellow though the area, the cellos haunting dreary tone perfectly compliments the guitar, but Weems wasn’t enjoying it.

“That was a disaster. The mayor is furious!

I've lost count of the angry phone calls, emails, and people in the town, alumni and parents. They want answers and so do I.” Weems says with such vitriolic rage at the twins sitting at the office.

“I would lead the inquisition, but I left my thumbscrews and rack at home.” Wednesday said.

“Miss Addams... you're already on thin ice.

Wafer-thin ice.”

“I swear Principal, our hands are clean.”

“What happened to you Mister Addams? You weren’t like this until your sister darkens our dorms.” She says, which changes his mood, maybe he was going back to his old ways. Weems turns to Wednesday.

“I may not have hard evidence, but I see you.

You're a trouble magnet.”

“If trouble means standing up to lies, decades of discrimination, centuries of treating outcasts like second-class citizens or worse...”

“What are you talking about?”

“Jericho.” (Y/n) cuts Weems off

“Why does this town even have an Outreach Day? Don't you know its real history with outcasts? The actual story of Joseph Crackstone and his hatred for Us?”

“I do…To an extent.” Weems says.

“Then why be complicit in its cover up? Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.” Wednesday chimes in.

“That's where you and I differ. Where you see doom, I see opportunity. Maybe this is a chance to rewrite the wrongs, to start a new chapter in the normie-outcast relations.”

“Nothing has changed since Crackstone. They still hate us. Only now they sugarcoat it with platitudes and smiles. If you're unwilling to fight for truth...”

“You don't think I want the truth? Of course I do. But the world isn't always black and white.

There are shades of gray.”

“Maybe for you. But it's either they write our story or we do, history isn’t written by those who are right, it’s by those who survive.” He says, weems Just sighs.

“You two are exhausting.”

“We know.”

“Goodnight, Minster and Miss Addams. But know, I don’t tire easily.” She says with the last foreboding warning, the twins leave the office and head back to their dorm. A but silent between each other, Wednesday was typing upon her typewriter, and Enid shows off a few outfits.

“Too much?”

“I feel like you just napalmed me, Enid.” Wednesday says.

“So glad I have my date with Ajax tonight.

Get my mind off that trainwreck of an afternoon. I literally think I have PTSD. I didn't even get to do my dance routine.” Enid says.

“What a tragedy— wait Date?” Wednesday asks.

“What kind of twisted psycho would want to sabotage such a life-affirming event?” Enid says, Wednesday ponders for a moment, and looks a bit saddened. He brother truly does care for her.

“…You're going to be late.”

“Wish me luck.” Enid says with a giggle and leaves. Meanwhile (Y/n) stands at the window, staring out into the moon, sighing solemnly as his eyes reflect the full moon.

“I don't believe in mandatory volunteer work, sugar-coated history, or happy endings, but most of all... I don't believe in coincidences. To paraphrase Agatha Christie, one coincidence is just a coincidence, two are a clue...and three are proof. Rowan's drawing of me and Crackstone happens sometime in the future. Goody Addams' warnings about Crackstone were in the past. And the monster is here in the present. Three coincidences that I know are connected. That monster could be anyone. The sheriff thinks they only exist behind the walls of this school. The truth is, there are monsters everywhere. And sometimes the monsters we least suspect are the most dangerous. They don't need teeth and claws to terrify. They hide in the shadows until no one is looking. And then they strike. But I'm looking now. And I won't stop until I find the truth.

[nerdieforpedro]

Patrolling on Christmas

Joel Miller x plus size female reader

Fanfiction rating: Teens and up

My blog overall is 18+

Word Count: approx 2.5k

Summary: Joel prefers patrol rather to be around others at Christmas, even after spending a few years in Jackson. He’s paired up with you on patrol and it’s not so bad. If asked, he may even say fair.

Warnings: Post outbreak, cursing, Joel is a grump, depression, survivors’ remorse/guilt, jokes about The Bard, damn knees and back, a fall, minor injury, ending fluff

Notes: I wanted to write Christmas Joel. I was going for sweet & happy. Post-outbreak Joel cropped up and my post shift mood determined that This is The Way. Merry Christmas 🎄 It’s got a sliver of sweet.

“Patrol can wait a day Joel. I don’t get why you’re still so damn weird about Christmas. It’s just all of us gathering at the Tipsy Bison and talking shit. No one’s going to ask you to do anything, not even me for fuck’s sake.” Elle threw her hands up in the air in frustration.

“...Language Elle.” Joel reminded her.

“I mean, I agree, language, but she’s right. There’s other people on rotation who can-” Tommy with his arms crossed explains, trying to put on a stern face. Doesn’t affect Joel at all.

“Shut it. I said I’m goin’. That’s it. See you tonight.” Heavy boots stepped out of the house and stopped on the porch looking back. “Have fun. Stay out of trouble.” With that, he adjusted the rifle that was over his shoulder and made his way to the perimeter to meet up with his patrol partner. He was expecting Sam or John but tried to control his eyebrows raising at the sight of you. He thought you’d join the others at the festivities.

Just like in the world before the outbreak, no one wanted to work holidays. The few holidays that were still celebrated anyway. Joel volunteered in part because the holidays always reminded him of the people he’d lost and it kept his brain from wandering to the dark recesses of his mind. If he kept busy, followed tasks and tired himself to the point of exhaustion, he’d briefly say goodnight to Elle and collapse in his bed. Then he may be blessed with the void of sleep, where his mistakes and failings may not play back through his head because he’s shut down.

The former smuggler wasn’t disappointed or annoyed that you’d be patrolling with him. In fact, it was likely best. You alternated between silence and run-on sentences about any and everything. That also removed his thoughts from being on himself. He even found himself chuckling on occasion at something you’d say that he found funny. He knew you didn’t mean it to come out that way, but hearing about horoscopes that you thought you remembered and comparing them with Maria and the other ladies based on some old papers they’d found was weird as it was ridiculous to Joel. It was good to have a bit of silliness in this hopeless world.

The both of you checked your weapons, you had a revolver in addition to your rifle. You said that you won it in a bet with Fred that Joel would ‘fire’ you as a patrol partner. Joel was curious as to why. You didn’t look directly at him when you told him why. Your gift of gab and keeping things light as well as your build which was short, stocky and thought to be poor for evading clickers, raiders and hunters. Fred wasn’t wrong in that respect outright, but you’d learned to either hide well or improve your aim to prevent them from getting to you.

Joel noted that Fred was a bigger asshole than he thought.

“Doesn't matter. What does is that I get the job done and come home. Let’s go.” Joel followed your lead, it seemed the bet you’d have with Fred had spurred action in you, not a bad thing, but it’s best to keep a cool head.

“Keep focused. Raiders and clickers don’t give two shits about Christmas.” Joel adjusted his rifle again as the two of you walked, it was a familiar path around the Jackson settlement. Shorter than normal patrol.

“I almost thought Elle was with me instead of you Miller with you talking like that.” A light laugh made Joel feel more at ease. ‘That’s more like normal. Am I sounding like Elle? Dammit.’ He wondered if he needed to worry about his own language use. The sun was high behind the clouds, peeking through every so soften as the crunch of grass and dirt was heard from both of your boots.

You still weren’t saying much and Joel had no clue what to say to get you talking. He suggested about halfway that you both sit on a rock. You offered it to him first on account of his knees. Joel’s face contorted into a scowl and refused to sit until you sat down first. When you saw that he was serious, you sat down and patted the space left on the rock and he took his seat next to you. The elder Miller brother turned away from you to keep an eye out as you did on your side. His knees stopped screaming at him that they ached, they only whispered now.

The crisp air reminded Joel that he was alive. His hair flopped with the wind, his eyes squinting slightly to get a better look at the trees and lake in the distance. He flexed and relaxed his fingers, feeling calm when he should be on high alert. Sometimes Joel found himself concerned that he wasn’t built for a calmer life. That he desired the chaos of the unknown instead of the predictability of the commune “Tommy refused to call a spade a spade. The damn place is nice, but it is a commune…” Joel muttered aloud grinning, he recalled discussing it with his brother and him being so adamant about it.

“I mean, a rose by any other name is, well not a rose. I feel like it's supposed to be more poetic than that.” Her answer made Joel turn his head slightly before keeping his face front, he still needs to be aware of any threats.

“I never had much use for The Bard. Especially now. The hell’s that pentameter shit gonna do with a clicker?”

“I’m surprised you remember that Joel. I just remember Romeo and Juliet. Hamlet. Tights and Plays, I think.”

“Full of surprises darlin’, even with these sore knees.” The broad man stood as you turned to look back at him. Hair bouncing on his head and a wry smile on his face. “We should get a move on, ya good?” He saw you nod and stand, though he couldn’t quite make out the look on your face. Maybe he did really surprise you, the thought alone made Joel put a half a pep in his step. His knees would be back to screeching soon enough. This time around you let him lead as you chatted about what the both of you knew about Shakesphere, neither of you remembered much so the two of you started making up things that he may put in a Christmas play.

“There’s gotta be some weird trickster spirit fairies that give good children presents and punish bad children. Plus ghosts, there’s usually a ghost.”

“Hamlet’s daddy came back as a ghost right? Might be a dead relative of whoever the play’s ‘bout. Also need a big feast. There’s also food.”

“Don’t talk about food Joel, I’m going to be even more hungry.”

“They always have turkey legs and grapes and wine at those things I think. I feel like that’s what was always in them plays as props.”

“You’ve seen a Sharkesphere play?”

There was a moment where Joel was quiet. “Now Darlin’ keep this to yourself. I maybe was one of those cousins of Romeo or Juliet. Don’t ‘member which one thou.” he heard you stop walking and looked to see what was wrong. Your face was beaming with this piece of information. Joel almost regretted it, but still wanted you to know. He needed not to think about why, he’d go back in the recesses of his mind again that connected to those emotions. They’re locked away to keep him functioning. “Told ya we gotta move. I’ll leave you right there.” He began walking again and heard your steps move to catch up with him.

It was when the gate to Jackson was within view. It was another period of silence after finishing the conversation about the bard and you asking several questions about Joel’s short stint in acting. He said it didn’t suit him and continued with football. You then asked if maybe he sang since they can sometimes go hand in hand. That wasn’t what did it, Joel heard you tell him that he had the voice for it. Sure it was a little raspy, but what he was able to communicate in verbal and non-verbal cues suited some songs.

Joel Miller is not an easy man to surprise. He’s seen too much, done too much and been through too much for that. At least he thought he had, and when he stopped walking, his foot got caught on some underbrush and he tried to break his fall. His left hand hitting a sharp rock and he went down. Would he be able to get up? How badly was he injured? He didn’t feel his knees right now…nope, never mind. He felt them, even more than before. He heard you yell and move by his side, he was slightly out of it and you weren’t able to lift him all the way.

“Sweetheart, don’t ruin your back. Gimmie a few.” He told you, sure he was embarrassed but he could sulk about that later. Joel really did need to get off the ground. It was cold, he was sore and anything could happen. He’s completely open. Slowly, he rolled on his side and sat up with a loud groan. The worried look on your face made him sigh, he’s supposed to be the experienced one here and he falls right in front of home basically. “Hands darlin’.” Joel stretched his large hands toward yours and you pulled him up, using your body weight to force him upright. He hopped up and took a minute to adjust, large hands holding your small ones. Joel knew he held them a few seconds more than was necessary, but he told himself it was to ensure he was steady so he wouldn’t fall again. But he knew it wasn’t, and it was no help when you decided to walk at side by side with one of your hands on his back. Normally he’d fight you on it as he did with the rock, but he doesn’t mind it being there and understands that you’re trying to help.

Your hand left Joel’s back when you two could see the guards at Jackson’s gate. Joel decided the least he could do was walk you back to your house after reporting in. Nothing unusual, no raiders or clickers. No news was good news. Your house is smaller than Joel’s, it is meant for one person. A small wreath is on your door with a red and gold bow.

“Maria said I had to put something on my door. I’ve never been much for decorating. You have to put it away later.” You explained and unlocked your door, letting him in. You had a couch, kitchen, cabinet with a few books and a dented wooden globe. Tommy had let you keep it and you weren the only person interested in it so he said it was fine you took the thing. All of them had pieces of garland on them. “Sit down Joel, I’m gonna wrap your hand.”

Joel instead walked over to the sink and rinsed his hand under some cold water. “Nah darlin’ you’ve done plenty.” Apparently, you’d had a small first-aid kit. Joel wondered what you may have traded to get one, or what you may have done to earn one.

“If you won’t sit, then I’ll wrap it while you stand. You might want to be nice to your knees though. I won’t have you falling in here.” You’re teasing him, he doesn’t hate it. Joel resigns himself to his fate and plops on your couch, noting some mistletoe on the wooden post next to the loveseat he just sat on. It looked like it was slapped up there. “Maria and Kelly decorated, hence all the garland, I never noticed that though.” Your eyes rolled and you sat next to Joel and took some supplies out of the kit, dabbing and cleaning his hand before adding some clean gauze and wrapping it. You taped it and Joel complemented your work, it was better that it was covered as to stave off an infection. He knew he didn’t need anything like that.

Not thinking about it, Joel patted your thigh before standing up, “Thanks darlin’. Didn’t mean to cause trouble. I’ll be on my way.” He realized he needed to go. It’s been too long any he can’t. He needs to wrap his head around this if he can. Maybe not his head. He just made room for Elle in his heart, would he have room for you too? Did you even want to be there? You’re friendly and talkative with everyone, it just seems special because Joel is aware of how prickly he is. But you’re not treating him differently, he’s reading into it. He may be heavily starved for companionship.

Those heavy boots of his start to carry him toward your door. He’s bid you goodbye, but you grab his arm. “Darlin’ I-”

“Joel, wait.” He closes his eyes for a moment, then stops. His boots step toward you, Joel looks down at you, trying to discover what’s on your face, but it’s something he recognizes - longing. “Could I just, just close your eyes Joel.” He shakes his head, but your grip on his arm doesn’t wane, he allows his body to relax with an exhale.

“S’alright. Don’t feel ya hafta do-”

“I don’t have to do anything. Yes, I know. Just close your eyes will you? This is the most I’ve heard you talk today Joel.” He ended up bending forward slightly, tipping his chin down and his face toward you. A pair of soft lips touched his cheek, right above his graying beard. “M-Marry Christmas Joel. That’s all I wanted to do.”

A smirk spread on Joel’s face, “Sure about that Sweetheart?” He was aware he was playing a dangerous game, but it was enjoyable. He was one for some risk. You huffed which he found adorable, your other hand found its way to his cheek and pinched him.

“I’m sure Joel Miller. Go on home and rest. Your back and knees will thank you. Dream of the bard while you’re at it.” Joel and you chuckled and you lowered your hand as he caught it, kissing the back of it and then your forehead.

“Not going to dream of some puffy bard darlin’, got someone a lot sweeter on my mind. Merry Christmas to you too. Sleep well.” Your grip on his arm loosened and he dropped your hand, heading to the door before opening and exiting your home. He stood on the porch to hear you lock it, then he started walking to he and Elle’s home.

Joel Miller might be ready to let someone in this Christmas.

Joel Miller’s Sweethearts: @morallyinept @fhatbhabie @goodwithcheese @trulybetty @for-a-longlongtime @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @musings-of-a-rose @rhoorl @laurfilijames @avastrasposts @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @megamindsecretlair @saturn-rings-writes @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @maggiemayhemnj @undercoverpena @alltheglitterandtheroar @pedrodascal @linzels-blog @lincolndjarin @pedritapascal @sp00kymulderr @movievillainess721 @perotovar @pamasaur @magpiepillsjunior @yorksgirl @guelyury @legendary-pink-dot

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 - Tom Bennett

Oh boy, this one's...a lot lmao. My first fic of the year and probably the only one for awhile. I was so stoked to write it so hopefully anyone who reads this is stoked about it too. This took so long, especially cause I have a super tedious boring class this semester, hence why I'm not writing as much as I used to. But here it is, primed and ready for ya. Enjoy!

Summary: You and Tom work at the same FBI agency, the both of you having a tense rivalry. Sprinkle a little friends-with-benefits relationship on top of that while going on an undercover mission where you must get along to get the job done, what could go wrong?

Warnings: modern!special agent!Tom Bennet, undercover mission (haha the title, get it, okay..), enemies (?) to lovers/rivals to lovers, more like FWB to lovers, Tom's kind of a dick (so is reader) but like to protect himself (and some misogyny, also to protect himself), smoking, tw guns (violence and injury), slight whump, oo boy this one's gotta lot of gratuitous SMUT (MINORS DNI), dubcon-ish, fingering, forced exhibitionism, public sex (kinda)...on a plane, oral (m and f!receiving), ANGST and feels, teasing, jealousy, possessiveness, kinda toxic relationship, confessions, eventual fluff, light dom/sub vibes, orgasm denial and control, slight praise kink and degradation, conveniences will convenience (all I know about undercover missions is what I watched on White Chicks okay, so don't expect some well thought out plans)

word count | 10.8k (oops)🤙🏻

You weren’t planning on signing up for a high risk mission when you went into your agency’s meeting this morning, but something overtook you when you learned Tom would be going on this mission as well.

You never planned to care about him ever since the two of you got involved. You were just coworkers with a little something on the side, nothing serious. In fact, the two of you hated each other ever since you started working with him. You both always took every chance to one up each other, trying to clamber over one another to get higher rankings in your profession, never hesitant to step on each other’s toes to succeed.

The two of you only started hooking up almost a year ago. You were both drunk, celebrating another hard won mission and it just happened. You both were lonely, your profession not always making it easy to trust someone who’s not yourself. It was purely transactional. But then Tom started being more vulnerable with you, making you laugh and happier than you had been before you met him. It made your head spin. You thought about calling it off immediately, but the sex was just so good, his company even more, and you did actually start to care for the man. 

Though, it made your rivalry at work dial the intensity up to eleven, taking out your frustrations on each other when the sun went down. But the look Tom was giving you after you had volunteered to your director, you had a feeling your benefits relationship might end sooner than you’d like.

After the meeting ended, you walked out with the onslaught of other agents that were desperate to beat the five o'clock traffic to get home. But you were yanked back by Tom, him grabbing your arm and forcing you to trail behind your other coworkers. “Take it back.” He seethed.

“What?” You bit back, your brows furrowing and instinctively trying to pull back from him.

“What? You know what. Tell our director you changed your mind.”

You scoffed, ripping your arm out of his bruising grip. “No, fuck you.”

“You did this to annoy me, I get it. Good job, you fucking succeeded, now take it back. This is my mission. I don’t need you getting in my way.”

“I’m just as good of an agent as you, dickhead. If anything, you’d be in my way. Now stop complaining, cause I’m not gonna change my mind. So, are we done now? Or are you going to continue whining like a little pussy?”

Tom only growled in response as he stormed off, throwing a tantrum like he often did when he didn’t get his way. It didn’t deter you. This mission would do wonders for your career, it would surely boost your rank to a higher level. No amount of whining from anyone was going to make you miss that opportunity.

Suffice to say, Tom didn’t show up for his nightly visit at your apartment. It was probably for the best, he’d just spend the entire time trying to make you quit the mission. But you were too determined, and you weren’t one to chicken out. You needed to prove to yourself that you could take on a mission such as this.

When you came into work the next morning for the debriefing, Tom was standing up against his car smoking a cigarette, clearly waiting for you. You only scoffed and walked past him, but he didn’t take too kindly to that. “Have you changed your mind yet?” He asked as he stood in front of you to block your path, blowing smoke in your face because he knew how much that annoyed you.

“Like I said yesterday, Bennett: I’m not changing my fucking mind.” 

This time when you tried to walk past him, he let you. You could hear him angrily stomping out his cigarette with the sole of his shoe before he sped up to walk beside you into the agency building.

You, Tom, and your handler all lined up in front of your director to go over what the mission would entail. It was intense, the most difficult mission you would probably ever have. You were tasked with helping catch a crime boss. The man would be at a hotel on an island resort in the middle of the Caribbean. Your agency’s sources say that he’s planning on making a big deal in order to gain a new ally. Guns, ammunition, drugs, so many things you both would need to be on the lookout for. It was intimidating to be sure, but not enough to scare you away like you knew Tom was hoping for. No, you wouldn’t give in that easily. You were up for the task. You wanted to do anything you could to put away such an evil man.

But clearly, Tom didn’t notice the pure determination on your face as you walked out of the debriefing. “How ‘bout now?”

“Nope. Stop asking. I’ll keep telling you the same thing again and again.”

“This isn’t some low risk mission, L/n. We’re not trying to catch a fuckin’ lowlife predator here. This is a crime boss. An extremely dangerous man that can have us killed with one word if he even suspects what we’re doing there. Don’t you get that?” Tom whisper shouted, trying not to draw attention to himself despite the outburst, poking into your collarbone roughly.

“Do you really think I’m that stupid?”

“Stupider.”

You rolled your eyes. “I know what I’m getting myself into, Bennett. I wouldn’t have signed up otherwise.” Honestly, it wasn’t the danger of getting killed that made you nervous about this mission, it was the fact that you and Tom would have to pretend to be newlyweds on your honeymoon. A perfect cover for where you two were going. It almost made you laugh.

All your time preparing to travel to this island, Tom would barely talk to you, only glaring at you and giving you one word responses or hums whenever you’d try to talk to him. If he wanted to be petty, fine. You could be petty too, not in front of your boss though, unfortunately. You were sure if your boss knew what you and Tom got up to outside of office hours, he would not be sending you on this mission with him. Although it was well known how you and Tom rivaled with each other throughout the workplace, you had to be somewhat professional, up until you were alone with him of course. You had no idea how you’d be able to share a bedroom with him without resorting to killing each other…or refrain from hate fucking each other. Even the morning plane ride over would be difficult, especially with the way Tom kept looking at you.

“Ya know, it wouldn’t be too late to back out. No one would judge you.” Tom spoke up as you both were waiting to board your flight.

You just kept your mouth shut tightly, just so not in the mood to argue with the man at such an early hour, especially since you weren’t able to have caffeine. You prayed you could just sleep all during the flight without arguing or crying babies. There weren’t babies on the plane, but Tom didn’t seem to notice your purposeful ‘don’t talk to me’ bitch face. Either that, or he just didn’t care.

“I still don’t think you’re ready for this.”

“Did I ask for your opinion, Bennett? No, I didn’t, so shut the fuck up.”

Tom only smirked, smug that he managed to get under your skin once again. “You’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met.” He whispered, shaking his head and leaning back in his seat.

“Oh, the feeling is mutual.” 

The animosity didn’t end there like you hoped it would, instead Tom took it upon himself to try to embarrass you as much as possible. You gave him a stern look as you started to feel his hand reach underneath your thin blanket to trail up your thigh. “Do not.” You scowled, trying to push his hand away but ultimately failing. He was too strong.

You inhaled sharply as he cupped your center roughly, wincing before glaring at him. Your glare faltered as he leaned in to whisper in your ear. “You think you can talk to me that way?” He teased gruffly, forcing his hand in your sweatpants and underwear, a surprisingly soft smile pulling at his lips as he felt the slick that was pooling at your entrance. “Whore.”

You gripped onto his forearm tightly as he toyed with your clit, purposely digging your nails into his skin to try to get him to stop, but all he did was wince and pinch you, causing you to gasp. You quickly put your hand over your mouth and subtly looked around to see if anyone noticed, but everyone seemed to be sleeping or occupied with something else. Truthfully, no one was even thinking of glancing in your direction, but you were so paranoid that you’d be caught. “I don’t want to get an indecent exposure fine, Bennett.” You snarled, trying to come off as angry as you were, but Tom’s fingers had already tamed you into a state of submission as they had done so many times before. It wasn’t any less irritating, but god, he was good with his hands.

You flinched in your seat as Tom pushed two of his fingers inside you right off the bat, your eyes briefly rolling to the back of your skull, trying not to moan by taking slow deep breaths. You were suddenly very thankful that you spent so many of your younger years trying to keep as quiet as possible while masturbating so as to not alert any potential family members in the same house of what you got up to in the privacy of your own room, but this felt way more difficult.

You whimpered into your palm as Tom’s dexterous fingers curled against that sensitive spot along the front of your walls, biting into your own skin to keep your whines in your throat, your brows furrowing obviously to anyone that might pay attention. “Fuck.” You cried softly, looking up at Tom with pleading eyes as your chest heaved against your now suffocating t-shirt. “I can’t.”

“You can, darling.”

To make matters worse, the seatbelt sign turned off. 

People around you started to rise up out of their seats to get stuff out of their carry-ons or go to the bathroom, and the flight attendants started to make their rounds to give the passengers their stupid complimentary peanuts. And of course, a flight attendant peaked around your row with a smile right as you felt your climax grow rapidly. You bit the inside of your lip hard, feeling the metallic taste of blood coat your tongue.

“Hello there, we’re handing out some crisps, pretzels, and candy if you’d like any.” The lady asked you politely, hopefully completely unaware of what was going on beneath your blanket. You quickly shook your head, a pained hum escaping your lips as Tom focused his efforts on your clit. “Are you alright?”

“Oh, I’m okay. Just a stomachache.” You lied, the wavering timbre in your voice bringing a sympathetic frown to the flight attendant’s face.

“Oh, dear, I’m sorry. I can bring you a Sierra Mist, if you’d like?”

Jesus Christ, lady, just fucking go away. “No, thank you. Really, I’m fine.” You cleared your throat a bit too loudly to cover up an oncoming moan, your face flushing with heat as a couple people from other rows looked over at you curiously.

“Okay. And how about you?” The lady directed her attention to Tom, who did not even attempt to hide his smug smirk. “Would you like any snacks, sir?”

“No, thanks, miss. I brought my own.” Cheeky bastard.

“Okay, well, we’re almost to our destination. So, make sure all your belongings are overhead before we land.” And with that, the flight attendant finally left you to continue suffering.

“I’m going to kill you.” You hissed, slapping Tom’s shoulder as you allowed your head to lean back against the chair as you felt the first pangs of euphoria wash over you. You grit your teeth and leaned forward to cover your face with your hands, hiding your orgasm face from Tom and the rest of the plane. You took shuddering breaths as you rode out your high, tapping his arm aggressively when pleasure veered into oversensitivity.

You felt your ears pop as the plane lowered closer to the ground. You didn’t even realize the pilot had spoken before you felt the plane bank to the right, unintentionally forcing you to lean closer to Tom, whose face you couldn’t even stand to look at. He pulled his hand away from you, making you look at the mess you made on his fingers. You looked away in fury as he started to suck on his fingers, quietly moaning at the taste of you. You could hear his chuckles as you refused to watch him mock you.

“Hope you had a good flight!” The same flight attendant lady chirped as you and Tom exited the plane.

Fuck you, you so badly wanted to say, but Tom didn’t allow that. As if he could sense your hostility (that he caused) and unwillingness to imitate niceties, he quickly uttered out a polite thanks before guiding you off the plane like you were a child who couldn’t take care of themselves.

Man, this was going to be a long, miserable “vacation.”

You would be lying if you said you weren’t impressed with the honeymoon suite you’d be staying in. Though, checking in was a nightmare. You never thought pretending to be all coupley and in love was part of the job description. Alas, you walked into the lobby with Tom’s arm around your shoulder and the two of you wearing the most genuine fake smiles you could muster. One plus was you had already spotted one of the crime boss’ henchmen. 

“Are you sure?” Tom had asked.

Of course you were sure. You had studied every picture of every face the agency presented you with, down to the freckles and moles they may have had. You weren’t going to fuck this up, you’d never live it down; Tom would make sure of it.

You both informed your handler that you made it safely to the resort, already finding evidence that the crime boss was indeed there too. You just had to lay low, look out, and not get caught. This is what you lived for, it was so exhilarating and you wouldn’t let Tom ruin this for you.

“We should head down to the pool, see if we can spot another guy.” You voiced, pulling out your bathing suit from your suitcase, but Tom stopped you by placing a hand on yours. “What, Bennett? We can’t waste time on this.”

“You still haven’t paid me back for what I did for you on the plane.” He spoke with a dark lust in his eyes, his pupils almost completely swallowing his bright blue iris’. 

You rolled yours. “I didn’t ask for that, if you recall.” You said with a scoff and moved to get changed, but he didn’t let you go, instead forcing you to your knees where you found his already hardened cock trying to burst through his tight shorts. You silently cursed to yourself as you already found yourself throbbing at the sight of him looking down at you hungrily.

“Well? My cock ain’t gonna suck itself.”

You resisted the urge to smile, lifting your hand to gently palm his cock through his shorts before tugging them down, your mouth watering as it bobbed up at you. Tom hummed as you licked a stripe up the underside of his dick, even the slightest of approval making you whine as you squeezed your thighs together. 

“Uh, uh.” Tom rebuked, lifting you up from the floor to make you sit at the edge of the king sized bed, forcing your legs apart and standing in between them. “None of that. No pleasure for you. Just be a good little whore and suck me off.” He threaded his fingers into your hair, curling his hand into a fist to tug at your roots, pushing you forward until your lips hit the tip of his cock. On instinct, you wrapped your lips around him and sucked hard, earning a guttural groan from him. “That’s it.” He didn’t hesitate to buck into you, hitting the back of your throat and making you gag just to tease you. He kept doing that until tears were streaming down your face, causing him to smirk. “So pretty.” He whispered, wiping a tear away with his thumb, but continuing to fuck your mouth with little care how you felt.

Meanwhile, you didn’t know if you were crying because his cock kept making you gag or because you had absolutely zero stimulation to your clit. It was throbbing painfully, and Tom still kept your legs apart. Was this still punishment for talking back to him on the plane? He was one of the most pettiest men you had ever known, so you wouldn’t put it past him. But not allowing you to pleasure yourself felt like a new low, even for him.

Your hands gripped onto his thighs, squeezing them whenever you needed a break, him pulling away briefly to let you breathe before slamming back into you again. But he was close, you could tell. The way his moans got louder and breathier, and his hold on you tightened to the point you were almost afraid he’d rip the hairs out of your head. “Oh fuck, I’m gonna come.” He announced with a groan, stilling in your mouth as his release shot down the back of your throat. 

Tom slowly loosened his hold on you as he tried to catch his breath, petting and soothing the spot on your head where he gripped the hardest. “Okay…” He spoke with a stutter. “Yeah, let me clean up and I’ll meet you at the pool in a few minutes.” And with that, he left you sitting on the bed while he locked himself in the bathroom.

Well, that was a little odd, you thought. But you didn’t think about it any further. You quickly got changed and headed down to the pool, hoping a short dip would rid you of the overwhelming heat you felt in your body from not being able to do anything about your arousing situation. No matter, if Tom wasn’t going to help you out then you’d just get yourself off in the shower that night. You had bigger issues to deal with at the moment.

Scanning over the crowd at the extravagant looking pool, you couldn’t seem to spy any persons out of the ordinary. Just a bunch of families and couples and the occasional old rich woman. Feeling a bit disheartened, you sat down on a poolside chair with a quiet huff, throwing your towel over the backrest and laying out, the sun quickly warming your skin. It felt nice, but it would feel even nicer if you knew you weren’t on the clock.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Tom’s voice jolted you out of your sunbathing intermission, now sporting his own pair of swimming trunks and tank top, any sign of being flustered from your previous tryst was completely gone. Only now, you could tell he was flustered for a different reason.

It probably wasn’t necessary, but you had bought a bit of a slutty bathing suit for this occasion. You figured if on the off chance you had to seduce a criminal, it would be best to do it in an outfit that showed off all your…assets. It definitely seemed to be working on Tom. Maybe it could work on someone else. “My super special undercover swimsuit. What about you, Mr. Palm Trees?” You teased, eyeing his obnoxious colored print on his shorts.

“It’s called looking the part, wife. We’re on our honeymoon, not a dating show.” And with that, Tom lifted his tank up and off himself, the sight of his toned torso making heat flood to the apex of your thighs. He smirked when he caught you staring. “Think you’re drooling a bit, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that.” You chided, but it only made Tom chuckle. You huffed in defeat, returning to your previous position of subtly checking out the tenants around the pool.

“We should go in.” Tom gestured to the pool, but before you could refuse, “We have to look believable, remember? Who goes to a pool and doesn’t get in the water?”

You couldn’t hide your clenched jaw as you rose from your seat, standing at the edge of the concrete ground and delicately dipping your toes in the chlorine loaded water to check the temperature. It wasn’t too cold, but you’d definitely wanted to slowly ease your way in. Unfortunately, Tom didn’t give you much of a choice, promptly pushing you off the edge. Your body tensed up as the cool water enveloped you, goosebumps rising all over your body as you quickly came up for air, gasping loudly. You wore a deep scowl on your face as Tom’s boisterous laughter polluted the area, able to hear it even when you were submerged. “Arsehole.” You spat, splashing water up at him aggressively.

“So, you wouldn’t have done the exact same thing to me if you had the chance?” He raised a brow, his crooked smile on display, the sight making unwanted flutters swirl in your stomach.

“Touché.” You grumbled. “Still a dick move.” Tom didn’t waste anymore time on land, crouching and leaping into the water, careful not to let the water go above his head. He swam over to you with a mischievous look on his face, and to you, that only meant one thing. “Don’t come anywhere near me.” You warned.

“Oh, come on, Mrs. Bennett. I don’t bite.” He teased, taking your unamused expression as a sign to grab your hips and pull you onto him, wrapping your legs around his waist and holding you up by your bottom effortlessly thanks to the water. You had no choice but to let him, not willing to risk your cover. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders reluctantly, trying your best to wear a loving smile on your face. But you soon faltered as Tom leaned in close, his lips right next to your ear. “I know this isn’t what you wanted when signing up for this mission, but you have to at least tolerate it. Behind closed doors when no one is around, you can bitch and whine all you like; but in public, you have to be in love with me.” He pulled away to look into your eyes seriously. “Understand, wife?”

You swallowed your pride and smirked seductively. “I understand, dear husband.” You took advantage of his slight surprise and captured his lips in a searing kiss, the cold feeling of the water not comparing to how heated this kiss felt. Tongue and teeth clashed with each other as you retaliated in the only way you could at that moment, biting his bottom lip hard before pulling away with a sickeningly sweet smile. Tom’s eyes darkened as he gripped your hips tighter, causing you to wince. He looked as though he was going to lean back in for another kiss, but you spotted someone, in the corner of your eye. You hugged Tom, using the position to whisper in his ear just as he’d done to you. “Another henchman.”

“Are you sure?”

“There’s a bulge at the base of his spine, covered by his shirt and jacket.”

“Who wears a jacket at a pool?”

“Exactly. 9 mm is my guess.”

“That’s a lazy guess. Wanna bet? .38.”

“Wow. Guess there’s only one way to find out.” 

“Wait-”

You quickly interrupted him by pushing his head below the water’s surface, ruining his perfectly styled up hair. He came up with a scowl, ready to scold you, but before you could allow him to, you pushed him off and you got out of the pool. Drying yourself off and giving a wink to a now distressed Tom, you made your way to one of the bars that served the hotel guests.

You were a decent actor, but you had no idea if it would be convincing enough to fool the henchman of an intelligent criminal; you had to try, if you wanted to get information early on. The smallest piece of info may help. 

With your margarita in hand, you played oblivious to the figure in your path, knocking into him and hearing the glass shatter on the pavement. “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry, sir!” You exclaimed, pulling an embarrassed face and getting on your knees to start cleaning up your mess. You hide your smirk as the man quickly stopped you, apologizing for being in your way. You could tell the way his eyes bulged and ran over your body that you made the right decision picking a skimpy bathing suit. Hook, line, and sinker.

“You should watch where you’re going.” The man, who introduced himself as James, said with a smirk, his tone holding no semblance of anger or irritation. “I’m sorry about your drink, maybe you’ll let me buy you another one?” Wow, bold. It made you feel like bile was going to come up your throat any moment, but you plastered on your best fake smile.

“I’d love that. You’re so sweet.” You giggled, “subtly” running your hand down his arm, his eyes piquing with interest.

“I’ve been told that before, yes.” He gently guided you over to the bar, lifting his arm so that it slightly touched your upper back, his jacket lifting just enough for you to be able to see the pistol sticking out of his pants. 

.38. Damn.

Your little acting display got you this far, you supposed you might as well take it up a notch. This man didn’t know how many drinks you’ve already had. Maybe that ruined margarita was your fourth or fifth one of the day. Hell, you were on vacation. So, you decided to be a little drunk as you sipped on your new drink, graciously paid for by a dangerous criminal. “You don’t look like you’re here on vacation, no offense.” You slightly slurred. “I mean, who wears a business suit at a resort?”

James laughed, albeit a bit nervously, but answered you anyway. “I’m not here on vacation unfortunately. This is, ultimately, a bit of a business trip.”

“Meeting with some rich CEOs?”

“Something like that.”

You grinned. “Oh, a mysterious man. I like that.” 

“And why are you here, hm?”

You wore a tired expression, lifting up your left hand to show off the fake wedding ring on your finger. “Honeymoon.”

“You don’t seem to be happy about that.”

You shrugged, taking more sips of your drink, the low levels of alcohol being barely enough to give you that liquid courage you could’ve probably used. “He’s a drag. Boring.”

“Let me guess…he has money.” You gave him a knowing smile.

“Don’t judge. A woman has needs.”

“Oh, I’m sure she does.” He inched closer to you. “But I’m sure he doesn’t satisfy all your needs.” The urge to throw up came back. The idea of being with someone other than Tom made you ill. But you had a job to do, no matter what it takes.

You took every opportunity you could to snoop around that man’s room. He must’ve been one of the dumb ones, you could spot his gun briefcase peeking out from underneath his bed. A rookie hiding spot. You got lucky, really lucky. So lucky that he fell asleep pretty quickly after the fact. Prime snooping time.

Every second that passed, the hammering in your heart grew faster. You rummaged through desk drawers, bags, cabinets, closets; the only thing you found as evidence was a post it note briefly detailing the time and place the meeting with the crime boss would take place. How amazing just a simple little note could have so much power. 

You let yourself smile as you quietly escaped the James’ hotel room, making your way to the elevator and pushing the button to your floor. You could finally take a sigh of relief, the nerves slowly but surely exiting your body; that is, until the elevator doors opened to reveal Tom standing there waiting for you, his body leaned up against the wall opposite of the elevator.

“Had fun?” He snarled with contempt, his lips curled into a malicious sneer, his eyes dark. You rolled your eyes, way too exhausted to deal with his hot and cold nature. You walked out of the lift and tried to walk past him, but he quickly grabbed your upper arm tightly, forcing you to him. “Are you forgetting that we’re supposed to be a couple on their honeymoon?” Tom seethed, loosening his grip on you when he saw the slightly pained look on your face.

“No. I just saw an opportunity to get some intel, which we need if you’ve forgotten.” You snapped back, tugging back to get completely out of his grip. 

“You could’ve done that without fucking the enemy. Jesus, I can smell it on you.” He frowned in disgust.

“It wasn’t even good, if it makes you feel any better. You jealous, Bennett?”

Tom surprised you when he said nothing. No reply, no witty comeback. His frown only deepened as he walked back to your hotel room, not looking back to see if you followed or not. You were almost afraid to, as if you hadn’t just risked your life mere minutes ago. You had nowhere else to go, so you followed, silently watching as he slid the key in and unlocking the door. You both still said nothing as you walked further into the room, taking off your shoes and sitting down on a chair adjacent to the bed.

“I found out where the meeting is going to be, and when.” You spoke up timidly, gaining Tom’s attention, his gaze on you heating up your face.

“You found that out back there?”

“Yep, so you can’t tell me it didn’t pay off.”

He nodded curtly. “Right. Well, I’ll contact our handler and we’ll pass on that information.”

It wasn’t like Tom to be so…compliant. He always had something to say, even when the situation didn’t call for it. You figured he just loved the sound of his own voice for a while. But now he was quiet, stoic, he barely even pitched in when you were talking to the handler about what you found. Was he really that upset that you got info before he did? How petty of him, at least that didn’t change.

“It was a .38, by the way.”

Tom furrowed his brows. “What?”

“That man’s gun. You were right.” He only let out a hum of acknowledgment. “What? You’re not gonna brag like you normally do when you win a bet?”

He shrugged. “We have a long weekend ahead of us. I’m not gonna waste my energy on stupid bets.” He snapped, walking out to the balcony to smoke a cigarette. You huffed in irritation, flopping down against the bed, watching the slow whirl of the ceiling fan.

Tom still was out smoking as you were getting ready for bed, showering and changing into your pajamas with a frown on your face. You quickly got tired of the silent treatment, joining him out on the balcony that seemed to look over the whole resort. “You chain smoke now?” You teased, earning a glare from the man. “Seriously, what’s up your ass, Bennett?” You snickered, stopping with a flinch as he turned to you suddenly.

“Do you realize how stupid that was?” Tom growled lowly, putting out his cigarette angrily and tossing it over the railing.

“You just littered.”

“Jesus Christ!” He grumbled, running his hands over his face in frustration, looking at you in exasperation. “You’re not even listening to me!” He shook you by your shoulders, making you finally start to take him seriously. “You shouldn’t have done that, Y/n.”

You scoffed, pushing him off you. “I got us valuable information. You should be happy, Bennett.”

“Well, sorry, I’m fuckin’ not.”

“Okay, well, there’s nothing I can do about that now. What’s done is done. I’m tired of you being pissed at me all the damn time for doing my job. Just keep being your indifferent self from now on, please.”

Tom growled, pushing you up against the railing of the balcony with a hand on your throat. “You weren’t supposed to be here! But of course you had to be here. Tagging along, like a tick on a fuckin’ dog. God, you’re insufferable.” He ranted, finally letting you go when you didn’t falter, but unaware how hurtful he was being with his words but you only chuckled bitterly.

“Oh, I’m aware. You’ve made that clear ever since we even started this mission. But trust me, I regret it now. If I could, I’d leave this island and never bother you again.” You huffed. “God, do you wanna outrank me so bad that you’d do this mission by yourself?”

Tom huffed. “It’s not that-! Ugh, you shouldn't be here because it’s dangerous! You could’ve died earlier! If that man wasn’t as dumb as you thought he was, he could’ve killed you! Then what would we do? What would happen to this mission, your friends and family, to me?” He snapped, taking you by surprise.

“To you?” You asked timidly, your heart pounding in your chest as Tom’s expression softened at the sight of your unshed tears.

“You think I’m indifferent? That I don’t care about you? I care about you so much it hurts! That’s why I’m livid you came here. If you die on this stupid mission, a part of me will die too. I…it wouldn’t be a life worth living without you in it. I fuckin’ love you, Y/n. Don’t you get that?” He spoke angrily, a deep contrast to the softness of his words.

Your breath caught in your throat, your mouth gaping open but no words seemed to come out, not until Tom looked down dejectedly. “This wasn’t how it was supposed to be, Tom. It was supposed to be just sex, that’s all.” Your voice betrayed you, wavering and on the verge of spilt tears.

Tom sighed shakily, taking out another cigarette and resting his arms on the railing. “I know…I’m sorry. I should’ve called us off as soon as I started catching feelings.”

You bit your lip, hesitantly taking a step closer to him, mirroring his stance and taking his cigarette from his fingers, bringing it to your own lips. You had stopped smoking a long time ago, but you felt you could have just this one, considering the circumstances. You coughed as the smoke filled your lungs, flinching when Tom gently patted your back, causing him to frown. You sighed, looking at him in pity. “Well…what happens now?”

“I know you hate me, so I understand if…if you wanna call us off.” Tom sulked, taking his cigarette back from you.

You shook your head, looking back over the railing, seeing the moon disappear behind the clouds that drifted by. “I don’t hate you, Tom. I never have.”

He chuckled. “Coulda fooled me.”

“I was an idiot and caught feelings for you too.” You confessed sullenly, hating the way your heart beat against your ribcage and the fire that was lit beneath the skin of your cheeks. You absolutely refused to look back at Tom, whose eyes you felt on you intensely. You couldn’t look into his eyes, you knew you’d break with just one glance, so you kept your gaze fixed on your fiddling hands.

You closed your eyes when Tom placed his hands on top of yours, squeezing them gently to encourage you to look at him. “Y/n…” But you couldn’t. You never opened your eyes, even when you felt his body up against yours, his constant warmth enveloping you and making your body relax despite yourself. His arms wrapping around your waist, his head dipping and his chin resting on your shoulder. “You don’t have to be scared, not with me.” You finally opened your eyes when he lifted your chin, your eyes instantly meeting his and you felt yourself melt against him. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop seeing you, but I couldn’t help it. I care about you too much to leave you alone.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.” You replied softly, causing Tom to look at you with those big blue puppy dog eyes that never failed to make your heart melt, even when they were filled with fury or irritation directed at you, even when you were often the cause.

Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t stop Tom from surging forward to capture your lips in a kiss. This one felt different than all the others. You didn’t kiss often, only spur of the moment and they were always rage and lust filled. But not this one. This one was soft and slow, Tom’s lips moving against yours languidly, making sure to take his time. You felt your knees threatened to buckle as his tongue moved against yours, and brought his hands up to cup your jaw lovingly. You weren’t the biggest fan of fairy tales, but this felt like a fairytale kiss you always imagined one to be.

It didn’t take long for Tom to push you back into the hotel room, holding onto your waist until the back of your legs touched the bed. He gently sat you down at the edge, removing his shirt before helping you remove your clothing. You watched with heavy lidded eyes as he got on his knees, running his large hands up and down your upper thighs until you could feel your arousal pooling in your underwear. “Tom…” You whispered as he placed feather light kisses down the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs.

“Shh.” He spoke before continuing down the path of your legs until he reached your ankles, looking up at you with a crooked smile before pulling your underwear off your body, biting his lip when he saw the state he was able to put your pussy in. “Always so ready and willing for me, huh?” He teased, running the tips of his fingers up and down your slit, causing you to whine quietly. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare try to be quiet. We’re not on that plane anymore. I want you to be loud for me.” He pinched your clit to elicit a cry from you, which made him hum in approval.

“Fuck.” You whimpered as he lapped at your clit, one of his hands holding your leg up and the other using a finger to gently tease your entrance. You moaned and tilted your head back as he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked, pushing two fingers completely inside of you. You were already so embarrassingly close as you rutted against his face, the way his tongue swirled around you and his fingers curling against just the right spot making your head dizzy. A gasp got caught in your throat as Tom suddenly pulled away and slapped your pussy, the sound echoing loudly around the room.

“You don’t get to come, not yet.” He growled before diving back in, making you keen loudly. The pleasure was so intense you had no idea how you could obey his command. You curled your fingers through his hair tightly, trying to ground yourself and also trying so hard not to lose yourself and come accidentally. “Fuck, your cunt is squeezing my fingers so hard. You’re so close, aren’t you, love?”

“I’m right there.” You sobbed, tears streaming down your face as Tom fucked you hard with his fingers, the borderline pornagraphic sounds coming from your cunt making heat rise to your cheeks. But you were too out of it to care. “Please, Tom, please…”

“I bet that man a couple floors down couldn’t make you feel this way, hm? Was he even able to make you come?” He snarled, his fingers curling against you more aggressively.

“No…” You stuttered with a strangled moan. “It took him—fuck! Took him six thrusts to come.” You chuckled tremulously, unable to stop your moans even if you tried.

“You counted?” He grinned.

“It was hard not to.” You cried out as another pang of intense pleasure coursed through you. You were so fucking close it was painful not being allowed to, Tom completely neglecting your clit even though it felt just as good when he was fingering you. It was too much and not enough. You needed him. You needed his cock. You needed to come. “Please…” You whined loudly, obnoxiously so.

“You want me to fuck you, baby?” You nodded frantically. “Tell me who this pussy belongs to. Tell me, who’s the only one allowed to fuck you from now on? Who’s the only one who gets to taste this sweet cunt of yours?”

“You, Tom.” You howled, his words only adding to your pleasure to your surprise. “Oh fuck, I’m yours, only yours, Tom. I don’t want anyone else but you.”

“Good girl.” Tom growled as he grabbed you by the throat and pulled you into a passionate kiss, using the leverage from his fingers knuckle deep in your cunt and the grip on your neck to force you back towards the headboard on the bed, only pulling away from you to shed off his trousers and underwear. He was so rock hard the tip of his cock had turned into a lovely shade of pink, the sight making you drool as it came closer to your entrance as Tom crawled on top of you, resuming that passionate kiss. He pushed into you with no warning, splitting you open and causing you to gasp against his mouth, allowing him to bite your bottom lip before pulling away.

The pace he set was different too, just like that previous kiss on the balcony. It was slow, purposeful, and calculated; the thrusts were so powerful and deep that it made the top of your head hit the headboard and your tits bounce violently. His cock stretched your walls so perfectly as it always had, his thickness never the easiest to adjust to, but the slight sting of him made the pleasure all the more intense. You were still so close, but now with no stimulation to your clit, it was easier to hold back.

“You’re so beautiful.” Tom murmured, his eyebrows furrowed tightly in concentration. Even with him being balls deep inside of you, his intense gaze made you feel even more naked than you already were. He never used to look at you this way before, but it was a nice change. He didn’t even try to hold himself back as he picked up the pace, holding you in his arms and rocking you with his sped up thrusts.

“Oh, fuck, yes!” You cried, your moans becoming more breathless and high pitched. “I wanna come so bad.”

“Not yet, love. I want us to come together.” Tom lifted himself up on his knees, grabbing onto the fat of your hips roughly to have the purchase to pound into you relentlessly. He hit the ends of you over and over again, your stomach starting to ache deeply and the knot inside you was tightening more and more, one right move threatening to make it snap. “Fuck.” Tom moaned, his cock twitching inside of you, his body tensing as he got nearer to that edge.

“I want you to come inside me, Tom.” You whimpered, placing your hands on top of his, digging your nails into his skin as your grip tightened.

Tom reached down to rub your clit, the action practically making you scream. You moaned his name over and over again along with taking gasping breaths, your pleasure melting your brain and turning you into a babbling mess. “Yeah, yeah, that’s it, love. Come with me. Please, come with me. Come all over my cock.” You didn’t need any more encouragement for that band inside you to pull taunt until it snapped hard, that wave of ecstasy knocking the breath out of you and making your vision hazy. But not hazy enough to see Tom hit that climax along with you, each of you letting out strained moans as you released together, you soaking his cock and his cum painting your velvety walls. He stilled inside you as you rode out your highs, slumping over and placing delicate kisses all over your neck and collarbone. “Fuck…” He breathed out with a chuckle, pulling out and laying beside you.

“Fuck…” You agreed, trying to catch your breath.

Tom started to reach over to pull you against him, but hesitated when you flinched. It wasn’t like the two of you hadn’t cuddled after sex, but it was mostly after a particularly rough session as a part of aftercare. You rarely cuddled after a gentle night like this one, especially not after confessing feelings for one another. But your skin already thrummed for attention, for his skin to be on yours even after having sex. It was scary, to open yourself up to heartbreak. But looking at Tom’s painfully hopeful gaze, you suddenly realized you wouldn’t mind getting your heart broken by him.

You reached out to him with a shy smile, allowing him to pull you closer and rest your head on his chest, hearing the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. He didn’t hide the large grin his mouth broke out into; it was way too endearing. But now, you supposed you’d be seeing those more often.

“We need to discuss our strategy for this meeting.” Tom spoke, breaking the comfortable silence.

You chuckled lightly, looking up at him. “Now?”

“At some point.”

“How does tomorrow morning sound?”

Tom smiled, leaning down to kiss you sweetly. “Sounds perfect.”

The next morning, you woke up in Tom’s embrace. You may have cuddled before, but you had never actually slept together like this all throughout the night, on purpose. You were surprised you had woken up first, considering how much you hated early mornings. Tom was always the early bird, but you had the chance to watch him while he was still asleep. You didn’t think it would affect you that much, but goddamn he was adorable when he slept. The permanent curve of his lips made it seem like he was smiling in his sleep and he looked…soft. Very soft. You always envied his perfect smooth skin, but this was ridiculous. No matter how hard you tried in the past, you could never find a single flaw on his body. It irked you, but you couldn’t stop staring at him, even when he started to stir awake.

His lips upturned in a sly smirk, already smug after a second of consciousness. “Like what you see?”

You rolled your eyes, trying to wiggle out of his grip but he was stronger and kept you in place. “We have a busy day, we can’t lie in bed all morning.” You lightly scolded, pride filling you as you felt his grip loosen, allowing you to rise from the bed. “We should stake out the room where the meeting’s gonna take place.” You spoke, cleaning up and getting dressed, while Tom just watched you as he cuddled a pillow. “Like what you see?” You mocked, smiling when he sneered.

After getting ready for the day, you and Tom followed the instructions that were hastily written on the post it note. The hotel was rather large, but you found the room somewhat easily. It was a conference room on the first floor, occupied with a long table with too many chairs to count. It was empty, or at least it seemed to be. Nor you or Tom saw anyone hanging out anywhere near the room. No guards or people preparing for this possible meeting, but you figured it was normal since the meeting wasn’t taking place that particular day.

“Alright,” Tom voiced, “you keep watch while I set up the bugs. Just signal if you see anyone coming, and don’t hesitate to get the fuck out if anything happens.”

You scoffed. “Like I’m gonna leave you to fend for yourself.” Tom’s gaze softened, causing your face to flush with heat. “Cause you definitely wouldn’t survive without me. You don’t have social skills to get yourself out of trouble.”

Tom rolled his eyes, but you could see a ghost of a smirk on his lips. “Right.”

You leaned against the wall opposite of the double doors to the conference room, keeping a sharp eye out from anyone who might’ve been walking your way. You hoped Tom could set up the bugs in time and get out before anyone notices. But it seems the luck you had last night in getting the information ran out as the same man you used started to come walking down the hall. You quickly pressed on your small hidden walkie, hearing the buzz in your ear piece. “Henchman, incoming. I’ll distract him.” You whispered into the mic.

“No, get out of there. Do not engage, you hear me?” You ignored Tom’s frantic orders as you plastered a fake smile on your face, greeting James warmly.

“Well, hi there, stranger.” You teased flirtatiously.

James’ eyes flashed with shock and confusion at first, looking around curiously. “Hi? What’re you doing here?” He asked in suspicion, making your heart hammer in your ribcage.

You sighed dramatically. “The husband isn’t too happy with my disappearance last night. Came here to get a break from his constant glares.”

His face flushed red, smiling nervously as if he just remembered what had taken place the night before. “Oh, right. You didn’t tell him, did you?”

You scoffed. “Of course not. I may be a stunner but I’m not dumb either.”

“I never implied you were.”

You giggled. “I did have fun last night though.” You lied, swallowing the bile that threatened to come up your throat.

He nodded. “Me too. Do you…think we can do it again?”

You smiled sadly. “I’m afraid not. Our vacation is almost over and I don’t want my husband getting too suspicious.” Just then, you faintly hear the creaking of a door opening. From behind the henchman, you spotted Tom’s concerned face. But before James in front of you could react to the noise, you pulled him to you. “But…how about a goodbye kiss? For the memories?” You grinned, capturing your lips with his, a surprised noise coming from his mouth. You opened your eyes and gestured for Tom to get out of there. He gave you one last angry reluctant look before obeying you, running off as silently as possible.

James pulled away with a breathless chuckle. “Man, I will miss these pretty lips of yours.” He wiped his thumb over your bottom lip, making you shiver uncomfortably, but he took it as a good thing. “I hope you’ll be thinking of me whenever you’re fucking your boring husband.”

Not likely, creep. “It’ll be hard not to. Well, enjoy the rest of your vacation.” You blew him a kiss before walking away, trying to calm your heart from beating out of your chest. That was the worst. You wanted to wash your mouth out with soap.

Right around the corner, Tom pulled you to him, making you almost let out a yelp of surprise. “Are you alright?” He grabbed your face gently, looking you over with an adorable concern.

You smiled. “Yes, yes, I’m fine. Told you I could get out of trouble better than you could.”

Tom’s eyes darkened. “Well, I’m sure it’s easier when you have these.” You gasped as Tom groped your breasts from over your shirt, making you lightly slap him, but he only giggled mischievously.

“So, did you plant all the bugs?”

“Yep, thanks to you. You gave me more time. I owe you one.”

“You sure do. I’ve had my fair share of that douchebag.” You cringed with a groan, the taste of that man’s mouth still sticking to your lips unbearably.

“Me too.”

You furrowed your brows. “What do you mean you too? You didn’t have to sleep with him.”

Tom frowned. “Yes. But I gotta tell ya, I was mad jealous. I felt like I was gonna punch a wall or something. I almost pulled him off you back there to do exactly that: punch the bastard.”

“Then our cover would’ve been blown.”

He shrugged. “Not if I played the husband role, angry that my wife was with another man. Which…isn’t that far off, if I’m being honest.”

You chuckled. “Well, when this mission is over and we’re back home, you have my permission to punch any guy that tries to hit on me.”

Tom stopped in his tracks, just steps away from your shared hotel room. “Wait…” He suddenly blushed bright red. “Does that mean…I’m your boyfriend?”

You couldn’t stop your own blush painting your face, looking down and smiling bashfully. “I mean, yeah. If you want to be?” Tom grinned widely, suddenly picking you up and spinning you around, burying his face in the crook of your neck. Your giggles bounced around the echoey hallway as he placed quick pecks all over your face and neck, tickling you until you gently pushed him off. “Happy, are you?” You laughed in amusement.

“You have no idea.” You may have had an idea…

For the rest of the day and every day after leading up to the actual meeting, all you and Tom did was listen in through the planted bugs. It was surprisingly super boring. Anything heard was very few and far between. Nothing of substance was ever said. All the noises that came from the bugs was the shuffling and creaking of people moving around and moving around furniture you assumed.

Your handler informed you and Tom that a team was being sent in, and your job was to make sure to tell that team when the meeting was well under way and to make sure every person of importance was there so they could be arrested. It didn’t sound like a difficult process, but you made sure to prepare for anything.

The day of, you were loading and prepping your weapons while Tom was listening to the live audio feed, his face in deep concentration. He looked cute and you wanted to say so, but you figured it would’ve been inappropriate at a time like this. An uncomfortable tension filled the air that forced your hands to shake, which couldn’t have come at a worse time. You tried taking deep breaths, but it didn’t work. You hid it as best you could. You and Tom already had gotten into an argument about who was going to be the one to direct the rest of the team where the meeting room was. He did not want you down there, at all. But your stubbornness got the better of you and you didn’t let him win. You’d be fine, you were sure of it. You were going to have to head down to the first floor of the hotel soon, staying with the team until Tom radioed that the meeting was almost over.

“Don’t try to be a hero.” Tom told you. “Self preservation before anything else, got it?”

You promised him, if only to ease his nerves. You weren’t going to make any dumb decisions, that wasn’t like you. But you couldn’t promise you wouldn’t get hurt even if you made the smartest choices, the job couldn’t guarantee it, you knew that. But you’d rather get hurt than Tom, that much you were sure of. 

The shake of your hands stopped as you loaded your gun’s magazine, just as Tom turned his head to you and nodded. “Be safe.” He spoke, his brows furrowed in worry.

You gave him a reassuring smile. “I will. I’ll see you soon.”

“You better.”

You shook off your nerves and exited the hotel room without another word or glance back at Tom, leaving him and praying you’d see him again, maybe take him on a proper date after all this nonsense was over.

You met up with the team, and they gave you your own bulletproof vest in case things went sideways. You briefed them on where this meeting was and how to get there, pointing to the place on the map of the hotel layout. And after almost an hour of standing around and waiting for shit to hit the fan, your walkie finally sounded off and Tom’s voice spoke over the radio. “They’re starting to trade.”

That was the cue.

You and the team went out, speeding down the halls to the conference room. You could feel your heartbeat in your pulse as the doors were kicked open, threatening yells and weapons being pointed, but the crime boss ordered his henchman’s weapons be pointed back at them. That’s when shit finally hit the fan.

You ducked as bullets went flying across the room, at everyone on either side, the shots echoing loudly and making your eardrums ring. You didn’t let it bother you as you were preoccupied with finding cover, getting your own weapon out and finding a target. You never thought your life would come to this, taking another human being’s life. But it was either you or them. It was at this moment you wondered if you ever should’ve joined this field in the first place. A bullet flying way too close to you snapped you out of those thoughts, forcing you to shoot back. You locked eyes with a familiar face, one you hoped you’d never see again. But of course it was him, James. You watched as the man’s face furrowed in anger, clearly fooled and feeling stupid himself. He should’ve known something was off about you, but too little too late.

The shooting suddenly stopped as the crime boss yelled out in surrender, holding his hands up above the table he was hiding behind, telling his men to stop their own firing. Your team shouted at everyone to put their weapons down and put their hands up, and they all complied fearfully. Your team came out from their cover as the dust seemed to clear, moving to finally apprehend these people. You watched, trying to calm your heartbeat as you felt relief wash over you. You did it, you and Tom. You almost couldn’t believe it.

Just as you realized everything was going to be okay, three shots rang out.

Before you could comprehend what had happened, you were on the floor. Pain surged through your entire body, making it difficult to find the source of the pain. You groaned as a team member ran to you, getting on their knees and quickly putting pressure on what you figured was a bullet wound. You struggled to lift your head to figure out what exactly happened, and you managed to see James on the floor dead, bleeding a puddle of blood beneath him. Karma’s a bitch, you thought. You didn’t think fucking him for information would come back to bite you in the ass, but here you were, bullet not in your ass, but your shoulder. The two other shots thankfully hit your vest, but it still hurt like hell. The bruises you felt instantly forming from those other two shots made you wince, more pressure being added from your comrade making you cry out.

“Shh, don’t move.” The person above you spoke. “Medic!”

“Wasn’t planning on it.” You grunted.

From another room, you could hear angry shouts, immediately recognizing the voice as Tom’s. Man, he was going to be pissed at you. But you found it hard to care as you felt blood leaving your body in copious amounts, even with the multiple hands putting pressure on it and miles long amount of gaze being stuffed onto your shoulder. “We need to get her to a hospital now.” The medic spoke urgently. You felt like a loser as your vision started to dim, trying your best to keep yourself awake. But it was out of your control.

Everything after that was a blur. You could hear the sound of sirens, lights flashed above your fluttering eyelids, the smell of cleaning supplies and chemicals making its way into your nostrils, the feeling of a warm hand holding yours. You couldn’t make any sense of it, not until you finally regained full consciousness laying in a hospital bed.

Your eyes squinted as you tried to adjust to the light, even if they were dimmed for your sake. You moaned as you tried to sit up, but you were quickly held in place gently. “No, no, don’t try to move.” The anxious tension in your body alleviated slightly as your eyes landed on Tom’s face, a weak smile coming to your lips. “The doctors said you can’t move yet.”

You inhaled deeply, despite the awful smelling chemicals of the ER. Your mouth was horrifically dry, your lips chapped and tongue like sandpaper in your mouth. “Water.” You choked out, cringing at the hoarseness of your voice. Tom helped you take a few sips of water, which made you feel so much better but also embarrassed that you couldn't even help yourself at that moment. “What happened?”

Tom’s lips upturned in a wry, amused smile. “You were shot.”

You scoffed, chuckling lightly even though it hurt. “I know that. I mean, what happened after I blacked out. I don’t remember, obviously.”

Tom lost his weak smile, grabbing and holding your hand. “Doctor said the bullet hit your brachial plexus. You had to go into surgery to repair it.”

“Well shit, that doesn’t sound good. I’d be more upset if I knew exactly what a brachial plexus is.” You joked, which earned a reluctant chuckle from Tom.

“It’s nerves that allow your arm to move, basically.”

“Oh…” You frowned. “That is bad.”

“...yeah.”

“Well? Did the doctors fix it?”

Tom’s eyes briefly lightened up and he nodded slightly. “They did. They got you to the hospital fast, thankfully. But it looks like you’re gonna be out of commission for several months while you recover, lots of physical therapy and bedrest.”

You groaned. “Ugh, not bedrest.” Tom sighed in exasperation, putting his head in his hands. “Tom?” You tried to reach out for him as you started to hear soft sniffles, coming out muffled from behind his hands, but it sent a spark up pain through your body. “Tom, come on, look at me.”

Tom’s eyes were a bright blue from the tears that were flowing down his face. He looked exhausted, both physically and emotionally. “You lied to me. You told me you were gonna be safe.” He exhaled a shuddering breath.

“I was…until that asshole decided to get revenge on me.” You slightly chuckled, but Tom’s frown only deepened. “I’m sorry. I never wanted you to worry. It’s just…this is part of the job. There was always a chance I’d get hurt, any of us.”

“That’s exactly why I wanted to be down there and not you.”

You shook your head, well, tried to. “No. I’d have rather died than put your life in danger.”

Tom scoffed angrily. “Why? Why do that?”

“Because if you died…a part of me would’ve died too.” Your voice wavered, unwanted tears spilling over and falling down your cheeks. “I love you too, Tom.” You looked away from his intense and unwaveringly loving gaze, too overwhelming to handle. You sniffled. “I’m sorry if that’s selfish of me. But I simply care about your life more than mine…I’ve never felt this way before, about anyone. It’s terrifying.”

You looked back at him as he took your hand with his, running his thumb over your slightly bruised knuckles. “I guess I’m selfish too, because I feel the same way. Which is why I’m fuckin’ pissed at you.” He spoke, but his tone held no semblance of anger and his gaze was just as loving as before.

You couldn’t help but smile. “You can’t be mad when I’m injured.” You teased, causing him to roll his eyes and look down to hide a grin of his own. “Can’t complain when you’re taking care of me either. You have to listen to my every demand.” You giggled.

“Are you asking me to move in with you?” He raised a brow, making you blush furiously.

“Uh, I, um, only if you, uh-”

Tom interrupted you with a laugh, bringing your hand up to kiss your knuckles. “Of course. Besides, you couldn’t keep me away even if you tried.”

“That’s good to know.” Then you realized, “Hold on, wait. How’d you even get in here? Isn’t visiting for family only?”

Tom smirked as he held up his left hand, the fake wedding ring still on his finger. “Can’t keep a husband away from his wife, can they?”

uh...kinda overdid it, didn't I? oh well haha

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] - forty | we can’t keep meeting like this

You found Yeosang sitting on the floor next to his apartment door, asleep.

“Oh my god,” you whispered. 

You unlocked your own door, put your stuff down and got his spare key before going over and pushing his shoulder to wake him up.

“Yeosang.” You shook him. “Yeo.”

He woke up, startled, and looked at you.

“Get up, buddy.”

“Why are you home so late?” He yawned as he stood.

“Because today is the day I have my late shift and I had to do some grocery shopping right after?”

He nodded sleepily. 

“You know Yeo, we can’t keep meeting like this. If you wanted to talk to me you could just message me.” 

Yeosang fake laughed. “I’m so glad we’re friends again, what would I do without your wit?” 

“Um… not get into your apartment?” You went back to your door and opened it and spun around, trying to close it as fast as possible, but Yeosang shoved his foot in the space.

“Ow.” 

“Serves you right.” 

“Unlock my door please.” 

“Don’t fake laugh at me ever again.” 

“I’m sorry for fake laughing and I won’t do it again.” 

You brandished his spare key. “Move.”

He moved so you could leave and you unlocked his door for him.

“You know, you really need to do a better job of making sure you have your keys before you leave the apartment.”

“I’ve just been stressed lately from all the grading.”

You nodded.

“Oh, I was watching your stream a few days ago when Keeho revealed his hair for the new comeback. He’s really going to be gone for a month?”

“Mhm. It happens a couple times a year.”

“Do his fans abandon you for that time?” Yeosang rooted around in the cupboard for something to make for dinner.

“Some do. A lot of them stick around because I think they feel obligated to support us even if he’s not there.”

“That’s good at least.”

“We do streaming parties for the songs too because, like, why not?”

He hummed in affirmation.

You nodded. “Mhm. Also uh… I accidentally ended up with a replacement this time around.”

“Oh? Who?”

“Um? …San?”

Yeosang dropped the package of instant ramen he was holding onto the counter. “I’m sorry?”

You nodded. “Minsoo volunteered him.”

He blinked. 

“What?”

“That’s uh… quite the thing to have happened.”

“Amazing sentence structure.” You laughed.

“I’d give myself a B. But: she really volunteered him?”

“Yeah. I was just like ‘my streaming buddy is actually an idol and he’s going to be away doing a comeback for a bit,’ and first she was like ‘Oh my god, an idol?’ and then she was like, ‘What about San?’ and he happened to walk out of the kitchen at that moment and he… somehow said yes.”

“Does he know how to stream?”

“No. But it’s not like it’s too hard. I’ll get him set up and he’ll have us to talk to, so like… he’ll definitely have it easier than when I started out.”

“What happened when you started out?”

“I streamed to no one for a few weeks… probably because it was awkward as hell to have no one to talk to and also I was a goofy teenager. But then I told Keeho about it and he joined and we started getting fans around the same time.”

“Actually, I’ve been wondering: doesn’t Keeho get in trouble for streaming?”

“Like how?”

“Doesn’t it ruin his ‘idol image?’”

You shook your head. “So, his family moved back from Canada when he was in middle school so he could train, then he started streaming and that company told him he had to stop, but Wonderland heard about him through the grapevines and saw his subscriber count and headhunted him, they told him he didn’t have to stop streaming if he joined them, and he’s been there ever since.”

“Wow, really?”

“Yeah. Except for one time when another company tried to steal him away right before JUPiTER debuted.”

“Really? What stopped him from leaving?”

“The CEO talked to him.”

“About what?”

“The other company offered more money but Wonderland has a really humane contract. He made Keeho’s parents come in and review both contracts with a lawyer they chose.”

“Wow… that has to be unheard of.”

“Yeah. They basically had a meeting about the other company’s contract and the lawyer pointed out all the sneaky shit the other company had put in it. Like… if he was ever fired from the company or left, they would get his channel and all the rights to the VODs.”

“That’s really sneaky.”

“Mhm. They basically saved him.”

“Wonderland really give a shit about their talent.” Yeosang nodded and leaned on the counter on his elbows. “And um… what about the ‘Liking San’ thing? Because technically you won’t just be ‘coworkers who are kind of friends’ anymore, you’ll be ‘actual friends who see each other outside of work.’”

You stared at him, trying to intimidate him with your gaze. 

“You keep that up and you’re going to get wrinkles.”

You sighed and looked away. “I don’t know… he’ll still be my coworker so it’s not like I can suddenly ask him out or something. And, also, I can’t now that he’ll be streaming with me because it could be even more awkward if he says no. Or if we date and it sucks.”

“I mean… I guess.” Yeosang took out a pot and filled it with water. “You have a lot of fear.”

You blinked, thinking that maybe you knew what he meant but not really wanting to investigate the meaning or what your response to it would be. Yeosang stopped the water at the appropriate height and looked up at you, directly into your eyes. 

“...Okay, I don’t feel like thinking about this anymore. I’m going to go put my groceries away and probably also make ramen for dinner.”

“Later.” Yeosang put the pot on the stove and turned the heat on.

“Later.” You beelined out the door, closing it behind you.

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rachs-words •

[tuhkasirius]

This is gonna be a vent/traumadump/emotiondump post because I don’t have a therapist and I have a bit too many feelings to not share with someone right now and for the majority of my 21 years of existance that someone has been the internet so scroll away if you don’t give a shit about my personal issues. This is in no way a coherent post either this is literally just dumping thoughts into words.

When people talk or write or make art about loneliness, it’s so often about romantic relationships and having a life partner that’s your person. I have my person. I’ve had my person for 9 years and I’m infinitely grateful for my person. But one person is never, ever going to be enough to fulfill someone’s every emotional need. That’s literally why I think mono people should actively seek out other close interpersonal relationships and why I’m personally poly.

Let’s take a little look back at the shit before the read more on this lovely post. Hmm. How exactly does someone end up spilling their guts on the internet to strangers instead of reaching out to a friend repeatedly for years?

I’ve built myself a life where people rely on me, I don’t rely on them, and it is a fucking amazing feeling to not be depending on anyone. But it’s also really, really lonely.

Like, I rationally know that I have a lot of people in my life who would listen and support me if I went out to seek help, but everyone expects me to handle myself because I’ve always handled myself before. And anyway, I wouldn’t feel good going to them for help because they have enough on their plate without me bothering. And on top of all that, it’s not exactly that anything’s wrong. If something was wrong, I would fix it, and be fine.

I want someone who actually wants to spend time with me and talk to me and makes an active effort to do so. I’m so fucking tired of always having to be the one to initiate conversation or organize a meetup. Even when someone else gets the ball rolling, it’s always me setting a time and a place and making sure everyone’s invited and available. It’s a fucking exhausting way to socialize.

And it’s not like I don’t get along with people. I’m prickly and a large personality and ruffle some feathers but that also means I find my people in any group really well and can make myself important (in all the wrong ways) really well. I’ve fallen into far too many volunteer jobs because people trust me and respect me and appreciate me as someone who get’s shit done. But that’s very much who I am in any social context. Just the person who get’s shit done so everyone else can have their fun.

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Okay. OKAY. Okay. Ms. Lauri… do I have some WORDS for YOU!!

First of all: I LOVED CHAPTER 10!!!

Smoked Cheese Cookie… I’ve got mixed feelings on the guy!!! Always have. The way you write him is must *mwah 👌* excellent! He feels so in-character!

Things have been rocky between him and Reader… but the ending of this chapter gives me hope that they might be able to live on more amicable terms. He wants us to return and prove him wrong! He even gave us our weapons back :’)!! (He’s expressing that he cares… even if it’s only a teensy weensy bit!!)

And our dear Reader. Their anxieties during the first third of the chapter were so real and understandable. The way they jumped to conclusions regarding Golden Cheese’s recent absences is EXACTLY how I would have reacted/felt as well. I’m glad that we were shown otherwise by Her Radiance herself…

MOZZARELLA SAYING THAT THE ROLE OF ‘CONSORT’ SUITS US… I WANTED TO DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT. How much does she know… HOW MUCJ DOES SHE KNOWW!!! 😭😭 And then Burnt Cheese… GOOODDD. I WAS SO EMBARRASSED. I WANTED TO DIIIEE. But I’m glad that Reader chose to ask him instead of Her Radiance because… that would have killed me forreal. (I can can imagine how amused she would be if we ever asked… she’d probably laugh too, like Mozzarella did… I would not survive.)

And now, my favorite part of the chapter: The fondue springs scene.

When we walked by and we saw Golden Cheese with her two servants… ough. I immediately felt like we were intruding. And… I was… perhaps… perchance… a little… jealous….

My heart leapt to my THROAT when she called out to us and asked us to join them. I felt so CONFLICTEDDD. I oh so desperately wanted to join her, but I also didn’t want to see the servants touching her so… tenderly 😔

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting of Her Radiance in that situation, but I was (pleasantly) surprised when she was so openly affectionate with us!! It almost felt like she was showing us off ><..

I also wonder what she was thinking in that moment… she probably sensed our yearning but did she also sense our envy? Our insecurity?

(Might be a stretch, but I almost felt as if she was trying to warm us up to the idea of being around servants… mayhaps to get us used to it for the long term; easing us into a new lifestyle. Is she planning to bring us around more? I wonder if Mozzarella’s suggestion of ‘consort’ holds any weight to it…)

Also, when the servants asked if we wanted to watch them preen Her Radiance’s wings… I yelled at the screen!! YES!!! I WANT TO!!!

I hope we learn how to do it ourselves eventually!!! I’d love to be able to tend to her like that.

And of course, the ending of the chapter. I was incredibly sad that we had to leave again :’( But Reader is so courageous for volunteering to guide the messenger back to their kingdom!! No one else could have suited the job better, honestly. Her Radiance has faith in us as well, so I’m sure that it will all go smoothly! (Unless you have other plans in store for us…)

With that we are coming to our last chapter! I’m as excited as I am sad… it’s bittersweet to see a good thing come to an end. You’ve written a wonderful fic, Lauri!! And I wish you luck in sticking the landing!!! I’m also looking forward to that trivia chapter :]c

Thank you for writing this amazing story!

— 🐝

H-holy CRAP, bee anon....Hi to you, too! XD I-it's been a while....I was curious how you felt, but.....y-yowza.....! Putting it all out there at once, huh....?

I'm glad that someone enjoyed Mozzarella's consort troll.....w-well, maybe "enjoyed" isn't the right word, if you felt so much secondhand embarrassment? B-but, that also counts as it doing it's job, pffff....I-it was also supposed to be funny, but that works too, especially if you've been in similar situations....Y'know, not knowing what something means, asking about it, and shame ensues when it hits you what it is.....Hey, it happens....! XD

As for how much Mozzarella knows.....well, she hasn't spelled it out to Reader in-universe, but I still tried to make it obvious in the last two chapters, uh.....Y-yeah, she knows about their crush. She's known for a whiiiiiiile, at that. X//////D Which is part of why she said she cheered when she learned they became part of the kingdom, like.....she knew it was gonna happen, so it was a "FINALLY" moment for her. XD Yeah, she's been subtley pushing them to learn about how they feel for quite a while, so maybe, if you ever reread the old chapters, you'll be able to pick up on the hints. Mozzarella is a subtle character who keeps a lot of what she thinks about a mystery, but also.....y'know, she was definitely trying at multiple points to make things easier for them.....and she mostly failed cuz of how much they hid that part of themselves XD

Th-the springs scene.....hnnnnn....I-I have a fun fact about that scene that I'm saving for the trivia page, but....in short: I adore how that scene turned out. It's probably my second-fav part of the chapter (with my fav being the short scene of Reader begging) >//////> R-Reader at first hates the idea of having to speak about their relationship to others (explaining it to Burnt Cheese nearly killed them, haha), only for Golden Cheese to tell them they don't have to say anything, and she'll take care of it all....because no one can stop her.....There's nothing to be afraid of....s-so, all they have to do is focus on her....and it makes them feel a lot better about being seen in public.....I-I dunno how well it comes across, but for me, I-I'm proud of how I did it....p-partly because I like the idea....I-I feel like relationships with her would be like that....B-being shown off....l-like that.....to her servants.....wh-while she does all the talking, and.....y-yeah.....I-I'm rambling, s-sorry......>//////< (Y-you can't tell me she WOULDN'T, say...slam you a-against a wall in public view of others in the palace w-without any shame at all, c'mon- Sh-she's in charge, sh-she does what she wants-)

I-I'm also glad that you find Reader relatable still....They're basically their own character now, with their own arc, but I-I still wanna make them feel like they could be any of us, y-y'know...? Whenever they feel insecure and overthink things to try to make sense of them, that's basically me putting myself into them.....XD

B-but yeah, th-thanks for sharing your thoughts with me....! I-I'll try my best to get the next chapter done soon-ish, but I JUST started it, so I make no promises yet...S-sorry for the cliffhanger, but feel free to speculate how you think the story will end, I guess....? L-like, to yourself, not to me, cuz I'm not gonna say anything~ ^^

(I-I like the idea of touching/grooming her wings, too....b-but sh-she'd absolutely scold me if I did it the wrong way, so....h.tjtresghejrjhdds......t-terrifying at the same time....X///////D)

[nocturnalghoul]

Oh! I have a prompt!

Sister of Sin falls in love with Cowbell and hes an adorable clueless idiot until he isnt

I’m sorry this took a minute, it sat 90% finished in my drafts for like a solid week before I was able to get back to it. I happened to look at the mushy may prompt for today and went WAIT THAT'S LITERALLY THE COWBELL FICLET I HAVE SITTING AROUND so I hope you don’t mind this also working as my unofficial mushy may for today (Crush/ "I made this for you") :)  Hope this does your prompt justice! I had fun thinking about it :D Words: 1.2k Feat. Earth ghoul Cowbell my beloved

Cowbell scowls briefly at the wide expanse of garden in front of them, sighing heavily before getting to work pulling weeds. It was going to be a long and tedious day.

A year ago, all of the Earth ghouls had been assigned their own personal part of the grounds to do with as they pleased. The former band ghouls got a larger section than the rest of them and Special, ever the sweet talker, decided to do their adoptive little brother a “favor” and convinced Sister Imperator that “Bell graced the stage with the band and therefore qualifies for a former band ghoul size upgrade.”

They had appreciated the gesture at the time, but quickly found that all the space was almost too much for them to keep up with alone. Imperator after assigning the sections had also instituted a sign up list for siblings to volunteer to help, but only once or twice had anyone ever signed up for Bell’s list. Even then, it was rather clear that the sibling was only trying to get out of some other engagement and didn't really want to work with the strange ghoul, asking them about the others instead. 

It made sense to them, the other band ghouls had much larger plots and were more popular with the siblings in general so why not ask about them. The list to assist Mountain with his vast plot of land had over a two month waiting list he heard. It was by far the largest and most impressive garden considering he was the current earth ghoul in the band, but the sisters were always fawning over him anyways. 

Cowbell was lost in thought considering all those points when a shadow fell over where they were working. They looked up and caught the shy smile of a sister of sin, holding a flyer for the garden program, waiting politely to be noticed. She was somebody they recognized from around the abbey but had never spoken with directly. They assumed she was probably lost on their way to the other gardens.

“Oh um, if you came out here for the garden program the other ghouls areas are farther down the path. There's signs” they mutter before looking back down at the plants in front of them. 

“I'm actually here to help you I think, it’s Cowbell right?” she cheerily chrips, extending a hand out in greeting. 

“Really?” they exclaim doing a horrible job of hiding the shock they feel if the small giggle she lets out is any indication. “Yes really! It’s never seemed fair to me that the other siblings only ever sign up to help Mountain and the others. Your list is always empty so I decided to fix that” she asserts, already moving to crouch down and assist in weeding the flower bed Cowbell had been working on. 

The day actually ends up being the best one Cowbell has in a long time. The sister is a great conversationalist and seems to be generally interested in what they have to say. 

Just as they are about to thank her for helping out and offer general pleasantries about seeing each other around the abbey she gives them a tight hug then skips off shouting something about next time. 

Next time Cowbell thinks, the corner of their mouth quirking up into an odd smile. So there will be a next time, good. 

~~~

Sure enough on the next garden program day the sister waltzes up eager to help and seemingly even more so to get to know Cowbell. They continue on like this for weeks, slowly settling into an easy rhythm with each other. Each time Cowbell is certain she will realize that there are much more interesting ghouls to hang out with, but then she comes back.

Finally after a month, Cowbell decides to speak up. “I appreciate both you helping, and your company, but you don’t have to humor me. I know that I’m strange and that there are much more desirable ghouls all around the abbey. Please don’t feel like you have to keep coming out of obligation or something.”

The sister frowns briefly but there is something else behind her eyes that Cowbell can’t quite place. “I like strange, Bell. Besides, those silly other ghouls could never be as interesting as you are.” they lilt after a handful of moments before blowing them a kiss and walking off. 

~~~

She ended up coming down with a bad cold for the entire week following that conversation. It was still fine, Cowbell had tended the garden all by themselves before and did so again. Time and time again as they go through the familiar motions of gardening their mind wanders back to the sister. How was she doing? Oh she would love this bloom. Eventually they decide to give up for the day on the main garden and work on a side project they had been considering for a while. When the sister was able to return they wanted it to be ready. 

~~~

Cowbell receives a text that she is ready to return to help today and triple checks the side project. They had over the past week assembled a long window planter for her to take back to her room full of flowers that they think she will like. 

As they see her walking down the path they feel the anxiety starting to build in the pit of their stomach but shove it down. It’s fine, you're making a much bigger deal out of this than it is they think to themselves as they wait. As her eyes fall on the planter beside them, Cowbell can see the wide smile take over as a sparkle settles into her eyes. “What’s all that, Bell?” she laughs as the ghoul almost fumbles the planter in an attempt to hold it out for her. 

“You just always complain how you wish you had more flowers in your room so I assembled this for you” they rush, blushing slightly.

The sister squeals in delight, taking her time to closely examine each bud. “These ones are by far my favorite” she whispers, pointing to the small blue flowers in the center. “Oh, those are cowbells” “I know” she laughs, “Believe or not I have learned something while helping you. It’s perfect cause you’re my favorite ghoul.” “I- I am? Why” they question before looking back up at her and taking in the vibrant blush overtaking her face.

“Oh” is all they can come up with as the realization overtakes them. The sister just laughs harder watching them flounder. Cowbell can feel a blush of their own starting to grow under their mask. “You know… I was going to take a walk down to the lake.” they start shyly, moving to take the sisters hand. “Would you- would you care to join me?” “It’s a date” she beams, already picking her stuff back up and placing it with the planter inside the storage shed. “Um yes, I believe it is” Cowbell stammers before tacking on a quick “if that’s okay that is.”

The sister just giggles before kissing them softly on the cheek and pulling them down the path towards the lake. “There's nothing I would love more.”