#tw referenced domestic abuse

[justminawrites]

Where The Stars Collide - Chapter 2: Cana

AO3

Summary: Cana makes a bet. tw: Implied/referenced alcohol abuse; also general creepy drunk man behaviour (nothing that didn't happen in the anime)

prologue | 1 | 2 | TBC

Cana Alberona needed a drink. 

Something much much stronger than mead, and enough to really get her hammered. Cana had been drinking since noon– no she didn’t have a problem and it was just the lighter stuff really; that was until her dead friend returned and nearly sent her into the underworld with a bone-crushing embrace. 

“Cana!” Lisanna had squealed before jumping her, “It’s been so long!”

Cana had never been closer to quitting alcohol in her whole life. 

Visions were one thing but the friend she hadn’t seen in five years nearly choking her in a hug in front of the whole guild? Nope. She was never drinking mead, no— ale, rum, water– she was never drinking anything ever again. 

Cana sighed and absentmindedly twirled the empty goblet in her hand round and round. She should be happy. 

Natsu and the others rescued Lisanna from someplace called Edolas where magic was apparently non-existent, or something, Cana hadn’t been listening. She’d only managed to stomach about 3% of the reunion before putting aside her empty mead barrel, and hightailing it out of Fairy Tail. 

The rain accompanied her as she aimlessly wandered from bar-to-bar, only to have the door shut in her face each time; although Cana had garnered a fearsome reputation as a Fairy Tail member, nearly every bartender within a five mile radius had other reasons to be distrustful of the dark-haired wizard – namely her alcohol not-problem.

She’d finally sought refuge in a homely inn just on the outskirts of the city– the old innkeeper took pity when she’d seen the wizard slicked with rain, shivering in a cobblestone alleyway – and forked over whatever jewels she had on her for a bed and another unsatisfying drink, but Cana’s monstrous thirst was particularly unquenchable tonight.

Motioning for another refill, she stared into her sad reflection as the mead slowly rippled into the goblet; finally reaching the conclusion that her sour mood probably had more to do with what Gramps said that very morning. 

The old man had pulled her aside to hand her a notice with the guild’s sigil stamped in the far right corner, and the unmistakable scrawl of Fairy Tail’s strongest wizard detailing his intent to return. Cana had dropped the paper in surprise. 

Gildarts Clive was coming.

“I wanted you to be the first to know,” Makarov had said, giving the top of her head a kind pat as she’d scrambled to pick up the paper with one hand and hide her tears with the other. After seven long years, her father was coming home. 

Cana spent the rest of the day in a daze, unable to read even her cards properly (though not for lack of trying) until she reverted to alcohol to take the edge off. But then Lisanna showed up and all the alcohol in the world couldn’t keep Cana’s world from falling apart around her.

Cana always thought she was good under pressure. Sure, she had her vices but who didn’t, right? She’d kept her worry for her guild mates during the Oracieon Seis debacle at bay, and even strong-armed her way through everything that happened with Laxus and the Thunder Palace. The only time she lost her cool was when– 

“Wake up! Why don’t you admire your handiwork ya traitor! You’re patheti–“

Cana sucked her teeth guiltily, recalling Gray’s drooping shoulders, the hardness on his face as Daphne and her Dragonoid terrorised the city. 

She should’ve trusted him, the boy she’d grown up with would never have betrayed his guild for any reason, but Magnolia had only just recovered from a certain lightning dragonslayer’s reckless threats weeks prior and Cana had been looking for someone, anyone, to blame. They’d never expected– she’d never expected to fight Laxus; Laxus was as much her family as Natsu and Erza. As Gray.

It was though the universe had quite literally flipped on its head; her family were becoming enemies at the drop of a hat, while their enemies were being treated like family – and though she would forever be indebted to Juvia for her willingness to fight with Fairy tail, Cana wondered what Gramps was thinking when he let Gajeel in– after all he did to Lucy, to Levy. 

Suffice to say she’d been looking for an emotional punching bag to relieve her of all that betrayal, and Gray’s unwarranted alliance with Daphne was the icing on the whipped cream of crap that’d become her life. She’d tried to apologise, in her own way, but Gray just waved it off – somehow that hurt more than if he’d never forgiven her at all.

He had a right to be angry. After all, if anyone should’ve known better, if anyone should’ve trusted him irrationally, it should’ve been her. Especially after everything they’d been through.

Cana blinked to see her tumbler once again painfully empty, and the sour taste of mead coating the back of her throat. She sighed; dredging up the past wouldn’t do either of them any good now. And it certainly wouldn’t stop her father from returning. 

“Why hello there, pretty lady.”

Ugh. Cana’s lips curled distastefully as a man pulled up a barstool beside her and the sickly sweet croon of flirting trickled into her ear. Normally, she would jump at the opportunity to stuff down her emotions with drunk sex but she was hardly drunk and with the sloppy smile her neighbour was giving her, she doubted he was any good at the latter.

“No thanks,” she grunted, shifting away from him imperceptibly, the creak of her wooden chain echoing into the empty bar. 

“Now, hold on a minute,” He scooted closer, the sweaty musk of some undoubtedly cheap perfume-oil pinching at her nose, “Don’t tell me you intend to keep all that lovely mead to yourself.”

“Why not?” She retorted, clutching the barrel protectively, “I paid for it.”

“Haven’t you heard of the saying that a drink has never tasted sweeter than the one you share it with?”

Cana rolled her eyes and turned to face him. This was her first proper look at the intruding man, and if she were in any better mood she’d have to admit she’d have slept with him without a second thought. Broad-shouldered, well-muscled, dark-hair, significantly older than her; it was like checking off a list. 

“I’m Bacchus,” he gave her another saccharine smile when he noticed her sizing him up, “Often compared to the god of wine in my hometown.”

Cana snorted. 

“Is that right?” 

“I assure you,” he moved closer and motioned to her mead barrel, “–no one’s been able to beat me at a drinking contest yet.”

Cana found that hard to believe- despite his reservations, the man looked like a lightweight if she’d ever seen one. All brawn and no brains; they were usually the quickest to fall.

“I’m a member of Quatro Cerberus,” Bacchus continued, “I take it you’ve heard of us.”

“Nope,” She retorted, shifting away again in the hopes that he would get the hint and just leave her the hell alone.

“We seem to have got off on the wrong foot,” he refused to take the hint, “–why don’t we make a bet?”

Cana had a pretty good idea where this was going.

“You want to try and out-drink me?” 

The idea was so ludicrous she might’ve laughed in his face if she were any less wary. 

Now there weren’t many things Cana was proud of, but her wild teenage years had blessed her with an ironclad liver and a tolerance so high she’d have to toe the line between alcohol poisoning and death to really have a good night out. She was the reason there was a law in Magnolia stating bartenders were required to cut-off Fairy Tail wizards after their fifth barrel. 

“No,” Bacchus held out his hand for her to shake, “I want you to try to out-drink me.”

If it were any other night, she would’ve got up and left by now. Normally she had no patience for arrogant asses who seemed determined to make fools of themselves but the thought of going back to the guild hall and facing everyone, facing Lisanna – Lisanna who hadn’t been there for the last five years; who hadn’t seen just how much of her grief Cana had chosen to drink away; Lisanna who’d stayed the exact same, bright-eyed and beautiful while her own heart shrunk unto itself – seemed even more unbearable. 

“Fine,” she held out her hand hesitantly, seeing the dark glint in Bacchus’ eyes, “–what’re we betting on?”

“Just each other’s company,” He grinned, squeezing it, “But there’s a catch.”

She raised an eyebrow as Bacchus reached into the folds of his shiny purple, beetle-esque armour to pull out two metal flasks of liquid and held one out to her. Cana looked at him quizzically.

“Lotus-wine,” He explained, uncorking one with the flick of his finger, “A specialty where I’m from. I find mead to be too light for my stomach.”

Cana knew her alarm bells should be going off right now but the smell of the lotus-wine was strangely intoxicating in its newness, and the restlessness she’d been feeling all night was momentarily satiated by the unfamiliarity.

“I hope you’re ready to lose.” 

Bacchus only nodded, watching her hungrily. Fingers closing around the flask, Cana tipped her head back and swallowed. 

She was floating.

The wine had a vaguely sweet, berry-like flavour but everytime she tried to narrow down the offending fruit, it slipped off the tip of her tongue and sent her careening into a memory she’d desperately been trying to avoid. 

She scrabbled at her lucidity for purchase as her vision blurred and tilted, the amber glow of the bar lights and poignant purple of her partner’s armour bleeding into one another to create the reddish-brown hue of her father’s hair.

And suddenly, Cana was in a memory.

It was the winter of X778; she remembers it well because it was the day she’d decided to tell Gildarts the truth. 

She was his daughter. 

It was Cana’s most well-kept secret, something she hadn’t dared to say out loud even to herself (in case she might bring about a stray jinx), and not a soul at Fairy Tail suspected as much. The only two people who knew were the ones it was impossible to hide anything from, namely Gramps, and the one friend she’d chosen to tell in confidence, Gray Fullbuster. 

(Natsu found out by accident but Cana managed to convince him that the reason she and Gildarts smelled alike was because they’d both been cursed by a pixie and he could at no point bring it up with his mentor or the curse would become permanent.)

Cana wore her best dress, and rehearsed her lines over and over: “Cornelia Alberona was my mother. She fell sick and told me to find you before she died. I came to Fairy Tail to find you, Dad.”

She’d even consulted the cards, and they guaranteed that today would be the most auspicious day to receive news about long-lost family. Nothing could possibly go wrong. 

Cana woke up bright and early, and waited in the guild hall at a quarter-past-ten: that was when Gildarts and Natsu usually returned from their training. (In hindsight, she was far more jealous of Natsu than she’d let on, after all, Gildarts may have been a great mentor but he was her father first). 

Sure enough, the two burst in through a random wall, arm-in-arm, faces mirroring a devious grin, despite Natsu’s sporting a purple bruise that would disappear by lunchtime. 

“Hello, there!” Gildarts greeted her the way he always did, one arm on her head to ruffle her hair, and a gentle smile. No more, no less. She often wondered wether it was wrong for her to ask for more. 

“Uhm– I–“ Cana stumbled over her words, her mind suddenly blank as the most powerful wizard in  Fairy Tail paused and looked back expectantly, waiting for to continue. The words Cornelia.. sick.. find.. Dad.. all tangled up in her throat and what came out instead was,

“I’m Dad– don’t become sick, you might find Cornelia too!”

Gildarts looked at her bemusedly, but before could open his mouth to ask what the heck she’d meant by that, Natsu tugged at his cape so hard, he ripped a piece right off and went flying into a wooden bench. 

“Ow!” The pink-haired boy whined, rubbing his head before earning a sharp smack from Erza on the exact same spot and rushing to hide from the “Monster" behind his mentor. Gildarts picked him up, momentarily forgetting her blunder (forgetting her), and hoisted the little dragonslayer onto his shoulders, who for his part, spent the next ten minutes crowing about his newfound vantage point by taunting his redheaded adversary.

Cana sighed. Guess today wasn’t the right day after all. 

“What’re you moping about,” a dark-haired boy interrupted her wistful mumbling, “I can see your sappiness from all they way over there.”

Cana felt her mood lighten as she looked up into equally dark eyes, now flickering with concern.

“And I can see your underwear,” She snickered, having the pleasure of seeing is face go from stoic to horrified in a matter of seconds. Once Gray had located his pants, and Cana had set up her impromptu fortune-telling booth on one of the bar tables, he joined her in keeping watch over the rest of the guild’s shenanigans.

The two of them had drifted together, against all odds, by being excluded from the rest of their guild since they were still children. They wouldn’t be invited to missions or after-parties and hence ended up around the guild-hall with nothing much to do. Cana hadn’t wanted to be friends at first,  the clothes-stripping weirdo was the last person she’d seek out voluntarily, but over the years, found that she hadn’t minded his company. And it seemed to be mutual.

“So, did you tell him?” Gray asked, crossing his arms over his shiny, new guild-mark. Envy shone in Cana’s eyes but she tried her level best not to stare.

“How did you get Gramps to approve the guild-mark,” Cana said instead, “I thought you need to be at least 17 to be a licensed wizard in Magnolia.”

“Ah, this?” He puffed up his chest, pride shining out of every 12-year-old cell in his body, “He said I was ready to have mine.”

“You begged him didn’t you,” She suppressed a smile as Gray’s shoulders went taught.

“Did not,” He sniped, but watched quietly as she laid out the blue deck of oracle cards in front of her in neat lines. 

“Did you steal the guild-stamp then?” Cana was only joking but when she saw Gray absentmindedly rubbing the silver cross necklace around his neck (a tell), she gasped, sending a few cards scattering over the wooden floorboards.

“You did!”

“Not on purpose! Natsu dared me to do it!”

“That IS on purpose, you idiot!” Cana groaned and put her head in her hands; when Gramps heard about this they’d all be in trouble. Natsu, Erza, even Lisanna! When one of them was in trouble, all of them were: Fairy Tail motto through and through. And Laxus would give ‘em all hell for it.

“Yeah, yeah, they’ll never know,” Gray shrugged off her nagging and bent over to pick up the fallen cards.

"Sure,” She rolled her eyes, “I bet you can’t keep your clothes on for more than 10 minutes!”

“My clothes ARE on!”

“For NOW!”

“What’s all this about clothes now?” 

Cana only just kept herself from gasping out loud as Gildarts’ rumbling voice interrupted their tiff; the wizard then bent over to pick up the final card and lay it on top of the wooden bar table: The Emperor .

Even Gray fell quiet at the sight of the man, awestruck by the raw magical energy that seemed to fill the room with his presence even before he arrived. Gildarts knelt to be eye-level with the children and smiled.

“Now, I remember you trying to tell me something little-miss,” he said kindly, looking at Cana. 

“Are you sure you have to leave so soon?” Master Makarov interrupted scurrying at Gildarts’ heels, before she could open her mouth. 

“I’m afraid so, Master,” he replied, his face taking on a hardened edge Cana hadn’t seen before, “The beast is too cunning to be slain by normal means; only brute force will work.”

Master Makarov gave a deep sigh and squeezed his guild member’s shoulder.

“Remember what I said to you earlier,” Makarov’s voice took on an almost threatening tone, “–you will always have family here.”

Cana watched their back an forth in confusion, suddenly clapping her hands together as an idea came to her.

“I can read your fortune!” She said excitedly, reshuffling The Emperor card into the blue deck in front of her. 

Makarov and Gildarts exchanged a look. 

“I haven’t heard those words in a long time,” Gildarts said finally, turning back to her, “– tell me, little girl, was your mother a fortune-teller too?”

“Yes! Corn– uh– cornfields! She used to work in the cornfields in the countryside which is where she learned to read..”

Gray shook his head as if to say ‘smooth.’

“I- uh- I see,” Gildarts nodded awkwardly like what she’d said made perfect sense.

“Anyway,” Cana tried to move on from the hiccup, “Just give me a second.” 

She closed her eyes and focused on the small, paper panels of the cards, the runes inscribed onto them and breathe in, breathe out, breath in...

Cana held in a grin as she heard Gray catching his breath at the new party trick she’d learnt specially to impress her father. The cards had begun to glow a faint blue, and float around her in gentle circular patterns with three main ones flipping over to tell the fortune. 

She opened her eyes, pleased to find both Gildarts and Gramps clapping obediently, while Gray’s expression had already soured.

“What does it say?” Gildarts prompted.

“You’ll finish the mission very quickly and be back home in a jiffy!” Cana affirmed. The S-class wizard laughed then, gently ruffling her hair again, before taking his leave. A spark of what felt like panic seized her chest, all of a sudden.

“Let’s hope you’re right little–“

“Cana.”

“Hm?” He turned in confusion.

“My name’s Cana. Cana Alberona.” She said matter-of-factly, waiting to see a glimpse of recognition in Gildarts’s impenetrable gaze.

“Well, then,” He smiled knowingly, “Let’s hope you’re right Little Cana Alberona.”

And then her father was gone. 

Cana felt herself drift back into the present reluctantly; that hadn’t been the entire memory, there was still more that happened after Gildarts left, but she found herself dipping in and out of the current like a leaf, until it completely swept her back onto shore, back into the ochre glow of the inn on the outskirts of Magnolia.

Cana found that though she’d regained consciousness, the lotus-wine had quite literally swept her off her feet; she was lying on the wooden floorboard, at the foot of her barstool, objectively and inexcusably drunk. 

Her pride was more wounded than she was. This is what the great Cana Alberona had been reduced to? For shame.

The memory had left her feeling light-headed, so much so that she didn’t notice Bacchus leaning over her curled up frame in triumph, holding what looked like a turquoise-blue flag. 

“Looks like I win,” he crooned, waving the flag in front of her eyes, “Guess I’ll be taking this as a trophy, pretty lady.”

Cana didn’t think much of it, the aftermath of the wine and memories demanded she sleep it off, even here, on the inn’s wooden floorboards; until she turned to fold unto herself and made the shocking revelation that her bra was missing. 

Her.. Bra.. Was.. 

Oh that wasn’t a turquoise flag he was waving in her face, it was her– 

Cana’s eyes flashed open, arms protectively clutching at her naked chest; just in time to see the door swing open and Bacchus’s big, broad-shouldered frame fly backwards and hit the wall with a sickening crack of broken bone.

Gray Fullbuster stood at the entrance, his dark eyes flashing with unbridled rage. 

Next Chapter ->

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

come high water

tw- referenced domestic abuse

There was something on Darry’s mind, Pony could see it. He had a little frown on his face and Pony could practically see the thoughts spinning behind his eyes. All throughout dinner, Ponyboy’s eyes kept flickering to his big brother. Anxiety was growing in his chest. Was there something he forgot? Was it his turn to cook? 

But Darry didn’t say anything. And while Soda surely noticed his demeanor, he said nothing. Soda just went on and on about his day as usual. Soda volunteered to wash dishes. Ponyboy stood up, intending to go read his book, but Darry called, "Hey, Pone, I wanna talk to you for a sec."

Pony’s heart started thundering in his chest. What did he do? But there wasn’t anger on Darry’s face as he put a hand on Pony’s shoulder and guided him onto the front steps. This was where they used to have important talks with their dad. 

As they sat on the steps, Pony's leg was jogging as he waited for the yelling to start. But Darry didn't say anything for a long moment. Ponyboy looked up at his older brother and saw the furrow of his brow and the melancholy look in his eyes. Something was wrong.

Darry sighed and then looked over at him, "You and I need to have a serious conversation." Pony's heart started to race. Darry's hand squeezed Ponyboy's shoulder, "And before you start panicking, you're not in trouble."

Pony exhaled in relief. "Coulda started with that," he muttered. Darry chuckled. He leaned forward on his knees for a moment, saying nothing. Ponyboy nudged him a little, "What's so serious?"

Darry turned to face Pony and met his eyes. "I fucked up when I hit you that night." Pony started to look away, but Darry caught his chin gently. "Honey, I need you to look at me for this, okay?" Pony fought the urge to look away. He always struggled to meet people's eyes, but for Darry, he would. When their eyes met, Darry smiled sadly. "I love you so much, Ponykid, and I am so fucking sorry that I ever raised a hand to you."

Ponyboy shrugged, "I know you didn't mean it, not really." They’d talked about it a bit when Ponyboy got out of the hospital. Ponyboy knew Darry was still beating himself up for it.

Darry shook his head. "That don't mean anything. You ain't ever supposed to hurt the people you love. Even if it was an accident or I didn't mean it, I still hurt you." Darry took a deep breath. "The point I'm trying to make is that...that's not how you show that you love people."

"I know," Pony said softly. Darry's face was emotional in a way that was unusual. He was earnest in his need to get this point across. "I know that, Dar."

He wrapped his arms around Darry and hugged him. He didn’t know what else to do when there was such clear distress on his brother’s face. Darry returned the embrace, laying one hand on the back of Pony's head and sighing into his hair. They sat like that for a long moment before Darry started to talk again.

"I know you ain't interested in girls yet, but-"

"I wouldn't ever hit someone like that," Pony said quickly, intuiting where Darry was headed.

Darry kissed his head and held him a little firmer, "I know that. You're a good kid. I don’t think you got a mean bone in your body. But if anyone hits you, a girlfriend, a soc, a friend, I need to know, okay? And if you don’t feel comfortable talking to me about it, you talk to someone you do."

Pony pulled out of their embrace to look at Darry's face. There was such an intense look on his face and suddenly Pony understood why they were having this conversation. Darry wasn't concerned that Pony would be an abuser. He was terrified that Pony would be hurt again.

"Why are you so worried about that?" Pony asked with a confused frown. "Boys don’t get hit like that."

Darry sighed sadly, "They do, baby, more than you would think. It ain’t about bein’ tough what you can take in a fight. Being hurt by someone in your family, by a partner, it’s different." Ponyboy thought of Johnny and Steve, how bruised they’d been and their pain in their eyes when they talked about their folks. But he’d never heard of a boy being beat on by their girl. "So if you got a girlfriend and she hurts ya, I need to know."

"Why?"

Darry opened his mouth to answer, but before he could, "It’s because of me." The turned around to see Soda standing by the door with his arms wrapped around himself. His hands were still a little wet from the dishes. Soda shuffled over and sat down between the two of them. Immediately, Darry wrapped an arm around his shoulders and kissed his head.

Pony’s heart began to pound, "What are you talking about?"

Soda looked over at Pony with sad eyes, heavy with emotion. "When I…When I was with Sandy, she would hit me sometimes." 

Pony’s eyes widened and he reached out to take Soda’s hand. "I didn’t know."

Soda smiled sadly, "I know, baby. I didn’t want you to. Darry saw her do it one night and he stepped in and stopped her. I made him swear not to tell you what happened." Pony whined and threw his arms around Soda’s waist and squeezed him as hard as he could. He didn’t like the thought of his brother being hurt one bit.

Soda brought a hand up to Pony’s head and ran his fingers through his hair. "I’m so sorry, Soda."

Soda took a deep breath, "That’s why Darry’s so worried, he doesn’t want either of us to get hurt like that again."

"Which is why," Darry continued, touching Pony’s face, "if something like that ever happens, I need you to tell me, savvy?"

Pony nodded quickly, "I will." 

He looked at Soda. There was a question on his mind. Soda never talked about Sandy so Ponyboy never really asked about her. But now he couldn’t help himself, "Did you love Sandy even though she hurt you?"

Soda swallowed thickly, giving himself time to think. Darry reached over and squeezed the back of Soda’s neck in comfort. "Yeah, I did. Part of me still loves her now. It’s complicated, honey. Things aren’t so black and white."

"But she hurt you."

"I know." Soda looked down at his hands, almost in shame. "I know. But that ain’t how you show someone you love them and I…I didn’t realize until ." Ponyboy embraced his older brother again, hearing Soda sniff softly as tears filled his eyes. 

Soda pulled back, "Only if you ask her, should a girl ever hit you."

"Which is a different topic," Darry cut in sharply, giving Soda a look that made him laugh, "that we will discuss when you’re older." Pony was sure his face was the color of a beet. But his brother was laughing so he didn’t mind the embarrassment. "I know I seem overbearing," Darry said softly, "but I’m just trying to keep you boys safe."

Soda leaned into Darry, taking Pony along with him. The three brothers sat embraced on the front steps. Darry wished he could protected his brothers from anyone that wished them harm, but he’d have to make due with just holding them whenever he could and drying their tears.

[grubbymunchkin]

Important Scout head cannons guys

Tw: domestic abuse stuff, great angst fic potential

We all know that scout gets hurt alot. and we know that Spy, his father, hits him pretty often. go watch expiration date again if you don't believe me.

We also know that he hung out with his brothers a lot and really looked up to them. it's implied that they're pretty rough, and they play fight together with Scout, so he probably got beat up by them quite a lot.

It's not referenced, but it is likely, that Scout's ma hit him a couple times. he grew up in the 1950s, pretty naughty, not to mention she was a single mother of 8 rowdy kids in total; he probably got hit. and since she would've been super busy all the time, probably a huge portion of the individual attention he was getting from her was when he was being punished.

ok. raise your hand if you've watched the show Moral Orel, specifically if you've seen the last season and are familiar with Orel's dad, Clay Puppington. if you raised your hand you probably know exactly where i'm going with this.

anyway: Scout's getting a lot of physical abuse from his loved ones, his role models, authority figures, ect. like Clay Puppington, and a significant amount of people from that era, Scout likely associates love with physical violence.

This makes Scout extremely vulnerable to being in an abusive relationship; as the victim OR the perpetrator of violence. This is made even worse (or better, depending on your perspective) if he's dating a member of the other team, as they'll be killing each other on a daily basis.

No, I don't think Scout hits his kids. I think that by the time he has them, he's been to therapy or something and understands that physical punishment is wrong. Also it would suck if he did hit them.

I think that if someone was going to write a fic (wink wink) about Scout's growth as a person, it would have to involve Sniper or someone showing him that violence isn't love by loving him properly.

[more-sonorous]

right here with you- (sun, moon, stars blurb) jatherid

have another jatherid piece :D

TW for implied/referenced child abuse and a bit of angst because of that, and some mild hurt/comfort vibes

we touch upon jacks tragic past but kath and davey make this more comfort than hurt I promise

…..

Kath wasn’t really a heavy sleeper- she’d never been. During her childhood, in a too-big house with too many rooms, she’d wake up just from hearing footsteps at the other end of the empty hallway. She could never sleep during class at school or nap casually if other people were awake, because they’d rip her from sleep with a sentence of speech that was whispered too loud. She was too alert even in rest, she supposed, that ever-present journalistic instinct wanting to be aware of everything all the time.

Sleep had been much better living alone and even better with Jack, because he slept like a rock and that tended to be awfully grounding. Well— he normally slept like a rock, but sometimes he had nightmares. Those weren’t really an issue. Kath would just hold him and lull him back to sleep. Once he realized he was safe and cared for, he’d drift off easily.

It was no surprise that she woke up when her boyfriend’s warmth disappeared from their bed, but he was already long gone by the time she finally blinked the sleep from her eyes. She reached a fumbling hand out to Jack’s side of the bed and found the dip in the mattress cold, no lingering warmth soaked into their pillow. Immediately she felt guilty— Jack must’ve had a nightmare and vacated the bed, and for some reason, she didn’t wake up.

She switched into protective girlfriend mode immediately and stumbled out of the bed, not even bothering to throw on sweatpants beneath the sweatshirt she’d stolen from atop Jack’s dresser.

He always woke up tense and terrified, but he never really explained what happened in his dreamscape despite Kath’s questioning. He’d ramble about how he didn’t want to go back, or just murmur that he was relieved for her safety. She should’ve been there. Should’ve woken up. Guilt wracked her thoroughly as she glanced over the living room, unfortunately not finding her boyfriend curled up on the couch or armchair.

She did find him in the kitchen, and the sight made her heart skip a beat within her chest.

Davey was sitting on the kitchen island, holding Jack in a tight embrace. Jack stood within the vee of the other man’s long legs, strong arms wrapped around Davey’s slim waist and face buried in his pale neck. She could only see the shaggy waves of Jack’s black hair and the subtle shake of his shoulders, like tremors of fear were still wracking through him. Davey, bless his heart, didn’t look awkward or tense. His cheek rested firmly on Jack’s head and those bright green eyes gazed off into the distance, a little frown tilting his lips. One freckled hand gently stroked up and down Jack’s back, the other arm remaining tight and secure around Jack’s torso.

The sight of them was sweet and domestic, and Katherine almost didn’t want to interrupt.

It was so incredibly relieving to know that Jack had someone else to lean on— and maybe she should’ve been jealous or anxious to rip them apart, but she just wasn’t. She was almost glad to see them embracing, and part of her wanted to join in. She knew she’d feel complete if they’d share the moment with her.

A kettle sat boiling on the stove behind them, and a box of Davey’s melatonin tea was abandoned on the island next to the boys. He must’ve fallen asleep early and woken up too soon, so he was making a cup of tea to knock himself out again. It was half past four in the morning, and Kath knew his habits and sleep schedule fairly well.

Davey seemed to have things under control, and Kath was planning on heading back to bed, since joining the embrace seemed like it would cross a line— but then Davey’s round eyes met hers and got all wide like he was guilty, and she quickly stepped in. The last thing Davey needed to feel was guilt; not when seeing them together made Kath feel just as giddy as she felt when she kissed Jack or held Davey’s hand.

“Morning, boys.” Before either of them could move, Kath hugged Jack from behind and curled her free hand in the fabric of Davey’s shirt. He was warm. She knew how it felt to be hugged by Davey. He was sturdy and safe despite his willowy form, practiced from years of caring for his siblings. “Everybody okay?”

“Jack had a nightmare, I think.” Davey whispered in response as he relaxed from his brief panic, his voice soft and raspy with sleep. “I was making some tea when he came in here.”

Kath hummed as her suspicions were confirmed and hooked her chin over Jack’s shoulder. He relaxed fully when he felt her touch, slumping forward into Davey’s arms with a noise that sounded like a broken sob. Kath’s eyes widened as she met Davey’s gaze— Jack had never cried after one of these night terrors. One of Davey’s hands instinctively jumped up to Jack’s hair.

“Hey… Jack, darling, everything's alright. We’re here.” Kath reassured, ensuring that her voice was gentle and comforting. She wrapped both arms around him and felt Davey’s ankles lock against her lower back, an act that tugged both her and Jack tighter against his chest and protected them in the circle of his legs. She was endlessly grateful for him in that moment, feeling her heart swell with adoration. Her stomach felt giddy with butterflies, like a middle schooler with a crush all over again. “Jack? What’d you dream about, love?”

“I— I was back at Snyder’s house and— he wasn’t— this time he wasn’t beatin’ up on Charlie, he was hurtin’ you two.” His voice was thick with emotion and he shook like a leaf. The fingers of one tan hand curled tightly around Davey and the other blindly reached back for Katherine. She took it instantly and threaded their fingers together as her heart dropped. “I couldn’t stop him. I was never— I can never fuckin’ stop him—“

He sobbed thickly and unabashedly, trembling against Davey’s chest. There was a special sort of rage building up within Katherine. She had no idea who this ‘Snyder’ was, but she wanted to murder him already for making her loved one cry. Rage coursed through her, making her fingers burn and her head cloud with emotion as she squeezed Jack tightly.

Thankfully, Davey leaned more towards the stern, sorrowful and protective side as he tucked his nose and lips against Jack’s hair. “Jackie, we aren’t going anywhere. Kath and I are safe. We’re right here with you, alright?”

Jackie. Kath remembered a time when Jack nearly jumped his foster brother for calling her that. She hid her smile in Jack’s hair as Jack let it slide completely, just because it was Davey saying it.

“But I didn’t— I let him—“

“Can you feel me breathing?” Davey took an exaggeratedly deep breath, in through his nose. His chest swelled beneath them, eyes fluttering shut. Kath thought, wildly, that he looked beautiful. “You feel that, neshama?”

Jack hiccuped, face still buried against Davey’s neck. “Y-yeah?”

“Try to match me. In, out, just like I do.” The swell of his chest became remarkably rhythymic, and Kath, through all of her curiosity and anger, matched Davey’s pace wordlessly to try and bring Jack down from his panic. When Davey gave a soft hum of approval, Kath felt it in her own chest. “Good, Jack. And my pulse— you can feel that, can’t you?”

“Yeah.” Jack’s voice was a harsh whisper, thick with tears. His head shifted and Kath knew he was dragging the tip of his nose against the fluttering pulse point of Davey’s neck.

“You can feel Kath’s pulse on her wrist, too. Go on. Can you do that for me?” Like clockwork, Jack’s calloused thumb jumped to the softness of her inner wrist. He exhaled almost reverently, breath hiccuping. “We’re both here with you, Jack. Nobody’s hurt. We’ve got you. We’re here for you, alright?”

Jack sobbed again. Not one of his broken, emotional sobs, but one of relief. The vice-like grip he had on Kath’s wrist lessened as he cried into Davey’s shoulder. Katherine wrapped both of her arms around her partner and buried her face in the curve of his neck, standing still and firm just to remind him that she was real. He’d never cried like this, and for someone who was typically charismatic and sunny, it was jarring.

Soon sobs turned into little gasping breaths, and those eventually waned into occasional hiccups. Then they were all still and silent, breathing in tandem, wrapped tightly in a mess of an embrace. Kath certainly didn’t want to let go, and based on the way Jack was clinging, he didn’t either. She hoped and prayed that Davey was just as content as they were, and a glance at his face told her that maybe, just maybe, he was.

The sharp whistle of the tea kettle ruined the moment. Davey nearly jumped out of his skin and they all shared a laugh, before Jack pulled back and ran his hand over his eyes. “Sorry. ‘M sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Kath and Davey insisted at exactly the same time, and then laughed at the same time as well.

Jack giggled wetly and tugged the hem of his tshirt over his eyes. “It freaks me out when you guys do that shit.”

“We’ve only known each other for two decades. It’s a wonder we don’t say everything in unison.” Davey responded drily, hopping down from the island and brushing past them to go fix himself a mug of tea.

“Hey, wait—“ Looking slightly panicked, Jack lurched forward and grabbed Davey’s wrist. “Where- um…”

“The kettle’s gonna explode if I don’t take it off of the stove.” He attempted to joke, but obviously noticed the traces of distress in Jack’s expression. Katherine watched with a hitch in her breathing as Davey carefully took his hand and squeezed. “I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

Jack nodded. Both he and Kath watched as Davey pulled away to go handle the situation on the stove, noticing the large wet patch on the shoulder of his Columbia tee. Jack winced and dropped his forehead onto Kath’s shoulder in embarrassment, which made her giggle.

He looked pretty post-cry, because of course he did. His lashes were clumped together and his lips were swollen and Kath realized that every version of Jack was just as lovely as the last. She was lucky. Her chest seemed to warm with a feeling of unbridled adoration as she kissed his head and wrapped her arms around him, nuzzling his cheek with her nose. “Davey’s got a million Columbia t-shirts. Don’t worry about it.”

“I don’t have a million.” He sassed, glaring back at her over the rims of his glasses. “I think I have seven. Ten if you count my sweatshirts.”

“That’s still too many.” She teased right back, earning a little laugh from Jack. Kath loved being the same height as him because it meant he could drop his head on her shoulder with ease.

Davey rolled his eyes as he made quick work of filling his mug and adding milk and lemon like he always did, before he finally rejoined them and perched himself on one of the barstools. He looked like he was about to say something, but his course of action changed mid thought. Kath watched his brain reboot and his eyes narrow. “Speaking of, you’re wearing one of my sweatshirts right now.”

He pinched the navy blue fabric covering her shoulder and Kath realized, with a mortified jolt, that she was in fact wearing his clothing. It was a corny sweatshirt that said ‘hometown boy’ on the front, with a print of their childhood town’s Main Street. On the sleeve, ‘David J.’ was embroidered in black thread, the careful handiwork of Mrs. Esther. Kath felt her face heating up. “Oh. Um— in my defense, it was on Jack’s dresser.”

She and Davey shared clothes all the time before Kath started striking up serious relationships with other people. It was probably improper now. Jack might‘be even been angry with her— but it was Jack. He was always surprising her. He laughed and nuzzled his nose against her shoulder. “Dave’s clothes smell better than mine.”

“Your clothes don’t smell bad, Jack Kelly.” She hit him upside the head, which only earned a snicker.

“Yeah, but Davey’s laundry routine has like six steps and ours has two.” Jack explained, and that was a random detail that even Kath hadn’t noticed. “That’s why his clothes are softer. Plus, you look cute. That thing is huge on you. ‘S why I didn’t say nothin’.”

“So you knew and didn’t tell me?” She scoffed, affronted. He only grinned, bright and sunny, cheeks dimpled.

Davey’s face was awfully pink as he shook his head. “You’re an enigma, Jack Kelly.”

“I don’t even know what that means, sweetheart.” Jack cooed, and patted Davey’s cheek twice for good measure. Davey’s ears and neck went red and he nearly tumbled off of his barstool in his attempt to escape. Kath wondered if there was anything in this world that could make him seem less endearing.

“Alright, I’m going to bed or my sleep schedule’s going to be ruined for weeks.”

Jack’s jovial demeanor dropped and he stood up straight, stumbling in Davey’s direction as if pulled by a magnet. His arm tightened around Kath’s waist. “Hang on, Dave, I- um— can’t you stay up a bit longer?”

“Or you can just come to bed with us.” Without thinking, Katherine interjected. She almost immediately kicked herself for it, because why would she say that?

Inviting your best friend into your bed with your boyfriend defied just about all social norms, but there Kath stood, clinging to said hopeful boyfriend as her nervous best friend glanced between them. David pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, nervous eyes dancing between them but not quite making contact. He radiated anxiety, and his voice was barely a whisper as he spoke.

“Wouldn’t… wouldn’t that cross a line?”

“No.” Jack answered quickly, holding a hand out for Davey to take. He hesitated, and Jack continued to speak, impulsivity glimmering in those deep, brown eyes. “Kath and I are both alright with it, so it don’t cross nothin’. And besides, I… um— I might feel better if I knew you were right there. Y’know?”

Something about the pleading look in Jack’s eyes made Davey soften. The rigid lines of his shoulders slumped and he worried his bottom lip between his teeth for just a moment, glancing at Kath as if looking for confirmation. She motioned her head towards Jack's outstretched hand with a grin.

Davey took it, pale and freckled against golden brown.

Soon they found themselves curled around Jack beneath the heavy comforter, Kath using his chest as a pillow and Davey lying on his side, pressed up against Jack inch-for inch. Jack’s upper arm served as a pillow for the taller man, and his hand absent-mindedly played with Davey’s curls. Kath had a leg tossed over both of her boys, ankle hooked around the curve of Davey’s knee to keep him close. His sweatpants were abnormally soft— Jack was right about that.

[poussacha]

My Maxley Fics Masterpost

✨🎆the rise and fall of a midwest love affair series

[the man, the myth, the legend. The series I'm writing based on Chappell Roan's Midwest Princess Album. A story for most tracks (some of them are mashups).]

[This series does not need to be read in order whatsoever, they're all independent of one another (allegedly)]

hit it like it's hot to go

Rated E | F/F Genderbent Maxley | 17,477 Words | Complete

Summary: It’s pitch black and from the booth she can only really make out flashes of light and a writhing mass of bodies. Their voices lift to sing in unison with the music she’s broadcasting while their bodies undulate like live wires.

This is the part she loves most about playing in clubs. The drunken, writhing mass of voices that lend her their ears. They listen to her heavy-handed remixes, her mash-ups, her house beats all without a single complaint. For a moment, she controls their narrative, holding them captive with a beat.

She’s three quarters of the way through her set when her least favorite part about playing in clubs rears its ugly head. In the form of a wasted brunette with long curly hair and a sneer.

“Can you play a song with a fucking beat ?”

OR

Max is a DJ at a club Brittney (Bradley) frequents with her finance bro boyfriend. Brittney tries her damndest to be obnoxious. Max might just be endeared toward her anyway.

Tags: DJ AU, homophobic slurs, minor violence from a fist fight, internalised homophobia, lesbians, jumpscare het sex, man attacking a woman, implied/referenced domestic abuse, explicit sexual content, degradation kink, vers characters, praise kink, tongue piercings, angst, heartbreak, cheating, genderbent

Song: Femininomenon To Go Mashup

Playlist(s):

hit it like it's hot to go (official)

After Midnight

Rated T | M(IN)/F College AU (Trans Masc!Intersex!Bradley x Cis!Fem! Max) | 130,703 Words | Complete as of Jan 1, 2025

Updates on all days ending on 7 and on most days that are multiples of 7

Summary: It’s Max’s first year at university. She arrives on campus with her two best friends PJ and Bobby in Bobby’s beat up sleeper van from the 1970s that reeks of musk, weed, and boy sweat. She doesn’t know yet what this year has in store, but she hopes it’s something to remember.

Bradley is in his final year in law school. Just trying to graduate, pass the bar, and move on with his life. That is, until someone comes along to change his perspective.

Tags: CHEATING, INFIDELITY, AGE GAP, College AU, genderbent, fem!Max Goof, fem!PJ Pete, masc!Bobby Zimmeruski, fem!Roxanne Rover, fem!Stacey, trans!Bradley Uppercrust III, intersex!Bradley Uppercrust III, masc!Tank, no x-games, underage drinking, marijuana use, falling asleep in precarious situations, fist fight, harrassment, masturbation, shotgunning, fishing trips, San Francisco, indulgent touching, body worship, body dysmorphia, semi-nudity, tws at the top of every chapter

Song: After Midnight

Playlist(s):

After Midnight (Official)

Gamma Mu Mu House Party Playlist

& if you let me, i would've loved you always

California

Rated E | M/M Doctor!Bradley x Disabled!Dancer!Max AU | 23,857 Words | Incomplete

WARNING: DUB-CON, DEAD DOVE

Summary: Max Goof is at the prime of his life. He’s finally realized his dream of becoming the main dancer and choreographer for his favorite singer of all time, Powerline. That is, until an accident brings everything crashing down in an instant.

Leading to him to return home to Ohio, metaphorical tail tucked between his legs.

Will he find peace back home with his dad? Or will being back in Ohio only complicate things more?

Tags: blow jobs, bathroom sex, public sex, disabling incident, characters with disabilities, ableism, toxic relationships, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, incomplete spinal cord injury, polyamory, angst, wheelchair user max goof, canonically disabled della duck, discussions of medical insurance, allusions to drug abuse, eating disorders, slow burn, EXTREMELY DUBIOUS CONSENT, DUBIOUS MORALITY, POWER IMBALANCE, semi-public sex, prostate examinations, erectile dysfunction

Song: California

Playlist(s):

i'm never gonna get the things i want the most

🐩Standalone Maxley Fics

i just wanna sweet talk for awhile

Rated E | M/M Canon Divergent Post X-Games AU | 2,975 Words | Complete

Summary: They were always fighting. Two sides diametrically opposed. Except, as perfect opposites, they find themselves pulled together like magnets. Until they can't deny their chemistry.

Tags: fluff, self indulgent, frottage, frotting, inexperienced bradley uppercrust iii, experienced max goof, bottom bradley uppercrust iii, top max goof, soft boys, shockingly gentle to be something written by me, body worship, gentle words

Song: Sugar High

take it like a taker

Rated E | M/M Canon Divergent Post X-Games BDSM AU | 5,777 Words | Complete

Summary: Bradley's breath is quiet, measured. Muscles tensing beneath Max's fingertips, illuminated by the warm orange glow of candlelight, as he deftly loops ropes in simple patterns around his upper thigh and ankle. Until his legs bend open, splayed

His wrists are next. A simple double column across both arms and up through the center. OR

The shibari and wax play fic nobody asked for

Tags: shibari, wax play, porn without plot, BDSM, dom max, sub bradley, hurt/comfort, sub drop, panic, aftercare, bradley is the biggest brat, humans because getting wax out of fur sounded painful, max might be a brat tamer if you squint, self-indulgent, body worship, rimming

Song: The Giver

i feel so untouched & i want you so much

Rated E | M/M Fifth Column return to PJ's House with Bradley AU | 4,887 Words | Complete (Christmas Oneshot)

Summary: Max and George return to PJ, Vicki, Tres, and Bobby's house in Northern Ohio. This time to help them pack their things and move back to Spoonerville. Bradley accompanies them on their journey.

Tags: based on Fifth Column by Madam_Muffins, if you haven't read that fic this one probably won't make sense, porn with some plot, Anal Sex, Bradley is a Brat, Max is a brat right back, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Dirty Talk, Banter, i tried to keep them as in character as possible, missing scene au from the source work

Song: Untouched

Oneshot for: @madammuffins

🐩Maxley & Goofline🎤⚡

if we listen to each other's hearts

Rated T | M/M & M/M Christmastime Miscommunication AU | 14,974 Words | Complete (Christmas Oneshot)

Summary: Max and Goofy both have new partners to introduce to each other during Christmas. Little do either of them know, both are familiar faces from their past. With a few adventures and funny misconceptions along the way, everyone reunites.

Tags: fade to black smut scenes, funny miscommunication, max and his dad are both bisexual but haven't come out to each other, bradley and powerline are along for the ride, powerline's name is trevor, thanks to blxejxtice_, fluff, the sweetest thing i've written to date, crying over how soft this is, soft gays for my soft gays, bobby and pj only mentioned

Song: I2I

Oneshot for: jennadrawskinda (IG), zebombul (IG), and blxejxtice_ (IG)

🐕🐩🐕‍🦺Braxanne (Bradley/Max/Roxanne) OT3 Fics

i'm so obsessed with your ex

Rated E | M/M/F Mean Girls/Swap AU (Boy Next Door!Bradley x Homeschooled!Max x Queen Bee!Roxanne) | 19,324 Words | Complete

Summary: Max moves to Spoonerville after spending his formative years traveling around the world with his dad and his stepmom to study weather phenomena. Specifically lightning storms. He runs into a bit of a storm himself when Brad Uppercrust and Roxanne Rover both take a liking to him at the same time.

Tags: Mean Girls AU if you squint, Brad is the boy next door, Roxxane is the Queen Bee, this a brad and roxanne swap AU, surprise, max is a virgin, roxanne wants him bibilically, so does brad, brad and roxanne are bitter (?) exes, halloween parties, threesomes, explicit sex, teasing, praise kink, multiple orgasms, underage drinking, everyone is 18, but this takes place in the us so, MMF threesome

Song: Obsessed

Playlist(s):

i'm so obsessed with your ex

🛹⭐Sw00ney Brobert Swap AU fics (not maxley)

Brad Crust x Robert Zimmeruski

More from the Swap AU here on Sw00ney's ig

bite your tongue or i'll do it for you

Rated E | M/M | 2,007 Words | Complete

Summary: Brad convinced Robert to do something stupid again, this is the aftermath of their latest near-death experience.

Tags: they're so unhinged in this, degradation kink, brat on deck, going in dry, sort of, begging, wacky power dynamics, dirty talk, they're so mean to each other, but it's love i swear, established relationship, robert is a rich boy, brad's just a teenage dirtbag baby, i had too much fun writing this

Song: Good Hurt

Art for this fic by kofiracha!

beautiful boy, your words are made of poetry

Rated E | M/M | 1,457 Words | Incomplete

Summary: Bobby comes over to yell at Brad for something he (allegedly) didn't do only to find him suffering from an intense migraine.

Shenanigans ensue.

Tags: slow updates, migraines, hurt/comfort

Song: Sugar High

🐱‍🏍🐛Other AEGM fics (that aren't maxley)

Bobby x Max

open our bodies, i quietly knock on your door

Rated E | M/M (Trans!Masc!Max x Cis!Masc!Bobby) | 1,902 Words | Complete

Summary: "Fuck," Max says, coughing a little at the tail end of his latest hit. His voice echoes in his head, making him feel like he's at the crossroads of a hundred different timelines. Consciousness dipping and floating through each. Like he's the doorway of time. "What did you say this was?"

"OG Blueberry Creme," Bobby drawls, voice slow like syrup. He takes the blunt when Max passes it back to him, raising it to his lips to take another hit. "One of my all-time favorite highs, man."

OR

Bobby and Max get high and fool around in his van. That's it, that's the fic.

Tags: porn without plot, explicit sex, cum play, marijuana use, having sex under the influence, established relationship, van sex, trans Max Goof

the things i want the most

Rated E | M/M California-Verse AU what if Maxby instead of Maxley | 12,897 Words | Complete (Christmas Oneshot)

Summary: Bobby's coworker convinces him to go to Powerline's Christmas Concert Extravaganza in New York. Begrudgingly, he agrees. Only to find himself dressed as a Slutty Santa at an after-party in hopes of reconnecting with his old friend turned backup dancer for the Powerline, Max Goof.

Tags: takes place in california-verse, New York City, au of california-verse, explicit sex, public sex, allusions to sexual abuse in Hollywood, you've heard of snakes on a plane, but have you heard of sex on a train, Bobby's van is called Bertha, purple prose everywhere as far as the eye can see, author doesn't know shit about the NYC subway system, all train shit based on BART in NorCal, and you can fucking TELL, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Sex in a van, smoking weed, Drug Use, Explicit Drug Use, sex under the influence, Dirty Talk, Cum Play, Multiple Orgasms, somebody get these boys some water

Song: California

Oneshot for: Sw00ney (Instagram)

Bradley x Kyo (Fratchanic by Crossoutz_ on IG)

so, honey, hold my hand (you like making me wait for it)

Rated G | M/M Fratchanic AU by Crossoutz_ on IG | 2,977 Words | Complete (Christmas Oneshot)

Summary: Kyo honestly has no clue why Bradley keeps showing up at the body shop unannounced. There is absolutely no logical reason for him to go there every single day. BUT there is an illogical one. If they're willing to admit it.

Tags: Kyo belongs to crossoutz_, i'm only borrowing him to make someone happy, fluff, pre-relationship, author doesn't know shit about cars, but spent a lot of time in a body shop growing up, bradley is super sweet, PJ is a little shit, everyone in the body shop ships this like fedex, even pete, fratchanic

Song: I Really Like You

Oneshot for: Kofiracha (Instagram)

[double--hh]

I Think it's Gonna Rain When I Die

An unofficial addition to the Serial Killer! Francis AU!!

AU belongs to our beloved SK Francis Anon 🔪

TW: Referenced/Implied PTSD attacks, implied/referenced abuse, SK! Francis is an entire tw on his own, possessive behavior, execution via electrocution, Francis loves Nacha and tolerates Ana 👍

The police officer escorted her to the stand alone table, there sat her father… no, he lost the right to that title.

There sat Francis.

Clean shaven, sullen eyes, and ruffled and slightly matted hair. There were two guards against the back wall waiting for anything to happen. Anastacha bit the sides of her tongue as she made eye-contact with him, her expression unchanging as Francis recognized her.

He laughed a breath out and took a pained one back in, “Anastacha! My baby girl, oh look at you! You have your mother’s nose, her hair too, even-”

“Hello Francis.”

Francis pouts and cocks his head, “Mmm, that's no way to greet your father, young lady.”

She held back a snide remark and she sat down, placing her hands on the table folded, she felt her eyes twitch, “How's prison treating you? You look like shit.”

Francis threw an exaggerated hand to his chest, “Oh how hurtful, Annie-” He gets really close to the window separating them, “It's been… stifling, sweetie… 15 fucking years without my wife and child…” His eyes drone around behind her, “Where is Nacha, sweetie? Unless if you two are doin’ a one on o-”

“She didn't come. Nobody came. It's just me.”

She blinked slowly, no signs of emotion from her.

Francis furrowed his eyebrows, humming, “Hmm, surely she’s just sleeping out in the car, Annie, oh I just know your mother misses me like I miss her!” He giggles, tapping his fingers on the table, the chains making a scraping noise on the wood.

Anastacha snorts and cracks a smile, she pulls a box of cigarettes out and lights one up, “What’s so funny sweetie- ugh, y’know how bad those things are for a little girl like you, Anastacha.”

She takes a drag from it, “Y’think mom misses you, Francis? Yeah, whatever, buddy… I do understand where you're comin’ from, feeling like you're the only one who can protect your mother from your own father.”

She bites the end of her cigarette, feeling her heart strain, “You know how many sleepless nights I've gotten after you got arrested? Having to hear mom cry herself to sleep and have mental breakdowns all because of you, Francis, huh? Do you know how many times I've had to convince my own mother that it’s safe to be alone in a room with another man, hell, another person that isn't me?! Oh my god.”

She buries her face in her hands, scrunching her bangs, rubbing her eyes with her palms and mutters out, “You fucking ruined our lives.” Slamming her hands down on the table, Anastacha looks at him dead in the eyes, not a single glint of light sparkled in her eyes anymore, they’re bloodshot, her eyebags even more noticeable.

Francis frowns, crossing his arms, “Sweetie, you know damn well what kinda people are out there, I was tryna protect you and your mother from the scum of the Earth and those fucking man made pests. And what did youse do? Get me arrested after all I've done for your ungrateful ass and your darling, sweet mother.”

Anastacha rolls her eyes, “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Francis let an annoyed breath out, but collected himself, “So… tell me what you’ve been up to, sweetie.” He flashes her a phony smile.

“I’m a Victim’s Advocate. I'm running my own organization, helping get folks out of domestic situations.” She tugs on her purple bow around her collar, “It's… very rewarding. Mom and dad are real proud of me.”

Francis’ eyebrows raised and his eyes widened, “G-good for you, sweetie, but- I-I’m right here and this is my first time hearing about this! Why'd you say-”

“Oh, yeah, mom’s seein’ someone.”

She watched as Francis slammed his hands on the table and stood up, the chair falling back, “WHO IS HE?! TELL ME. SHE KNOWS GODDAMN WELL THAT SHE BELONGS TO ME AND ME ONLY.” The two guards approached him and pulled him back, Anastacha leans back into her chair, taking a drag, blowing smoke from her nose.

Francis magages to calm down just enough so his vision isn't red anymore, but still feeling his blood boil and his mind race.

“Anastacha Lynn Mosses. You better fucking tell me who this bastard is.”

The guards were about to take him away till Anastacha spoke up and yelled, “Jeez Louise! Boys, calm down! Francis, pay attention.” She snaps her fingers to get his attention.

She reaches into her pocket for her wallet and opens it up, she smiles as she takes her driver's license and a polaroid out. She placed both items flush against the window, “Here 'go, Franny boy.”

Francis broke out of the guard's grasp and got his face close to the window.

He wished what he was looking at was a sick prank his little girl was pulling on her.

On the left was the polaroid, it was his Nacha in the foreground dressed in a long sleeved and puffy wedding gown. Behind her was Angus, in a dark purple tuxedo, holding her waist with one hand and his cane with the other. His vision focused in and out when he slowly rolled his eyes to Anastacha’s license and he felt his heart sink deeper than his first night alone without his family when he read her name.

Anastacha Lynn Mikaelys-Ciprianni.

His eyes pinholed as he looked dead at Anastacha, who was smiling as sweetly as ever.

That motherfucker stole his family from him.

Anastacha softly sighs as she puts her items away back into her wallet.

You could hear a pin drop how quiet it was… till Francis hit the plexiglass window, with his fists, cracking with all of his might. Anastacha jumped putting her hands up, watching the guards pull him back to his room while he was screaming obscenities to her, her mother, and especially her father. She cupped a hand next to her mouth and yelled, “So long, and thanks for all of the fish!”

She chuckles as the door slams shut, she can still hear the dead-beat yell, she turns to the officer that escorted her in, “I'm so sorry you folks had to deal with him for so long.” She reached into her pocket and gives him a stack of her business cards, “Leave ‘em by the sign in desk, y’never know what's going on with a person just by looking at ‘em.” He nodded and escorted her to the next room to watch Francis’ execution…

~

…It went as grizzly as one could go, Anastacha and her police escort were the only ones in the theater when it happened. He looked away while she watched it all go down, never faltering. Even when the vertigo of the electricity flashed her eyes never moved from Francis as she watched the remainder of life leave his body...

~

Afterwards, she left the prison, it was late at night, night life was just getting started, but she was not interested in the slightest. As she lit up another cigarette, she felt a drop of rain hit her nose.

She looked up and saw rain clouds moving in, “Mmm… peculiar… didn't know he had a soul…”

She continued walking until she found a vacant and illuminated phone booth. She entered before the rain started pouring down, the droplets making music on the glass walls. After putting 15 cents in, she slumped against the cooling wall, smoking, looking at people scuttling for cover, waiting for the caller to pick up.

“Ugh, hello? Ciprianni residents, Nacha speaking…”

“Hey mom, it's Anastacha.”

She heard her mother move excitedly on the other end, shaking Angus awake.

“Ana! Hija! How are you?! Are you okay? Did anything happen?! Do you need us to drive over?!”

Anastacha laughed, “No, mom! I'm good, I'm fine, it was very…” She looked for the words as she heard her father speak faint but very tired Italian in the background, “I feel like I closed a large chapter in my life and I’m… glad I went.”

She clears her throat as she hears Angus take the phone, “Ciao, sweetheart, I heard what you said, ‘m happy you decided to go, I’m so proud of you Anne… shit, Nacha, cara mia, what time is it?”

Anastacha huffs, checking her watch, “It's only midnight-thirty, dad!”

Angus groans as both Nacha and Anastacha giggles, “Alright, alright, I’ll let the oldies sleep, I just wanted to let y'all know that I'm outta there and I'm doing good.”

“That's great, hija, you go out and enjoy the night! Don't drink too much!”

“Yes, and remember to aim for the throat and ears if you can! And if you brought your pistol or brass knuckles even better!”

Anastacha heard her mom smack him on the shoulder and he laughed, “Ciao, Anna, you be safe and take care of yourself, mom and I love you-”

Nacha yoinked the phone, “Love you hija! Please come and visit us soon! We always have the guest room open for you!”

Anastacha puts her cigarette out with her dress shoes and smiles, “I love you guys too, when this next case is cleared up I’ll drive over to see y'all before you guys move again, good night!”

They both wish her goodnight and she hangs up. She unlatches the phone booth and exits, the rain is now a drizzle.

Sighing, she decided to take her folks advice and enjoys the evening to the fullest, starting her a new chapter in her life.

~

[quinnblrhq]

⬧⬪ Bri | She / Her / They / Them | Bisexual | 24 ⬪⬧

CEO of the Joker Hate Club

Main blog has been @poisonousquinzel but it's glitched atm and I've lost social interacting abilities so here I am ♡

♧ Metas, Rants & Analysis' ♧

♡ Rec Lists ♡

◇ My Gifs ◇

♤ My Posts ♤

◇ (Reblogged) Fanart Tag ◇

♡ Multi-Shipper ♡

⬧⬪ Trigger Warnings & Boundaries ⬪⬧

Any and All content including panels and/or discussions of the abuse Harley suffered at The Joker's hands will be tagged.

#tw abuse, #tw abuse mention

Any and All content discussing, including, or hating on The Joker will be tagged.

#tw clown boy

I'd recommend filterng all the ones below if discussions about domestic abuse, panels depicting and/or referencing it may be detrimental to your mental health, even if only to give yourself the ability to choice when to see the content. ♡

#tw clown boy, #tw abuse, #tw abuse mention, #tw blood, #tw gore, #tw body horror

I don't tag their ship name. I don't tag his name. I don't want to interact with anyone using those tags.

I do not care what universe, there will never be a version of them that I will post positively about in a shipping sense. Ever.

There will never be a Joker that I will post positively about here. I do not care what version, at his core, The Joker character makes me uncomfortable. He's a walking red flag that I cannot stand.

I think that clown bastard is a pathetic loser who's long overdue a permanent trip to the morgue.

The Joker is the catalyst behind Harley's origin. He's the villain of her journey who hurts her at every turn. The fact she was in love with him, was his girlfriend, was a fellow Villain Character doesn't change any of that. Them being together inherently makes his actions concrete domestic abuse. Their shippers cannot change that fact.

This will always be a safe space for Harley fans who want to enjoy her character and content about her without the fear of seeing her abuser treated as a love interest.

This is my unwavering, unapologetic stance.

Being a Bad Guy™ is not synonymous with Being A Domestic Abuser.

That is how he will always be regarded on this blog, as the canonically cruel, sexist abuser he is who she's grown past.

He will never be discussed positively here.

"He" includes, but is not limited to: Main Universe Comic Joker, BTAS Joker, White Knight Joker, Leto / Heath / West Live Action Jokers, Harleen (2019) Joker, The Dark Prince Charming Joker, Arthur Fleck, John Doe (Telltale), Thrillkiller Joker (Bianca), Lego Batman Joker, Batwheels Joker, Suicide Squad ISEKAI Joker, DCSHG Joker

⬧⬪ I hope he dies! :D ⬪⬧

[insoukokuhell-434]

Chuuya Takes Care of Dazai Fics

Includes:

Emotional Hurt/Comfort (long term & immediate)

Physical Hurt/Comfort

The format I’m using is:

Title - writer (ao3 link) Fic length Time period (teen/mafia skk, 22! Skk, all ages) Additional tags (Tags in bold added by me for extra info) TW

Some fics have parts of the summary/ comments added for additional info

Emotional Hurt/Comfort

Long Term (multiple instances)

hey look, the sky's falling apart - saffroncassis    

24.8k TEEN SKK (16/17) AU - Canon Divergence Protective Nakahara Chuuya, Angst, Fluff, Humor, Developing Relationship Found Family (the Akutagawa siblings, Oda's kids, Kyouka, Oda, Ango) TW- Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse and discussions of both these, also cw food for the whole fic

Summary - "At age 16, Chuuya defects from the Port Mafia and drags his partner with him not so much kicking and screaming as silently begrudging, and the rest follow suit in time."

Mostly Chuuya helping Dazai, but Dazai supports him too <33

[Really realistic depiction of the relationship between a depressed person and their supportive partner!]

For the Record - zombiemarker

19.1k TEEN SKK  AU- Spies & Secret Agents + Physical Hurt/Comfort Nightmares, Childhood Trauma, they get all dressed up and go to a gala, Implied Sexual Content, Fluff & Angst, Literal sleeping together, Getting together, First kiss, Developing Relationship TW - Blood and Violence, Childhood Trauma

From tags: "Chuuya's a government experiment, Dazai's been with Mori for years, they've both got trauma now"

Mostly Chuuya helping Dazai, but Dazai supports him too <33

A mouth to empty into - series by osamuchuu

Not listing all 4 fics cause this post is already so long, but they’re all amazing pls go read them!

The series depicts depression + CSA trauma so well!

This is my favourite -

Love is not a victory march - osamuchuu

8.7k 22 SKK Soukoku taking care of each other, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mental Illness, Depression, Drug Addiction, Blood and Injury, Healing, Recovery, Soukoku Tenderness, Light Angst TW -  Dazai-Typical Suicide References and Attempts, Addiction, Drug Use

believe me darling, the stars were made for falling -communist_sasuke

14.6k ALL AGES Worried Chuuya, Love Confessions, Dazai is a Mess, Angst, Self-Harm , Fluff & Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon timeline, First Kiss, TW - Dazai-Typical Suicide Mentions , Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt

Trust Fall - insi 

3.5k ALL AGES (Dark Era, Post-Dark Era, 22 SKK) Emotional Constipation, Mental Health Issues, Dazai has issues TW - Implied/Referenced Suicide & Self-Harm, Suicidal ideation

From tags: Chuuya has met Dazai on the rooftop many times throughout knowing each other.

Immediate

Emotional H/C

Even the Darkness We're Watching Is So Beautiful - NastyaEx

4k 22 SKK (post-109) bsd 109, Fluff, Dazai Needs a Hug, Dazai is a Mess, exhausted dazai, dazai cries but only a little bit, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sharing a Bed, Soft skk, Dazai centered, yosano is a bit here and she's great

I'll Make A Home In Your Gut Because its Somewhere Warm to Sleep - arahabakii

8.9k 22 SKK Fluff, Angst, Mutual Pining, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Making Out, Getting Together, Domestic Fluff, Touch-Starved Dazai, Dazai needs a hug, Chuuya needs a hug TW - Dazai-Typical Suicide References

stay- neon_toad

4.6k 22 SKK (pm!skk flashbacks) Suffering Dazai, Dazai Needs a Hug , Dazai is Bad at Feelings, Oblivious Dazai Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hugs, birthday, Birthday Presents, soft skk TW - Dazai-Typical Suicide References

where are you? - doeinstinct

2.8k 22 SKK Depression, Disordered Eating, physical symptoms of depression, Mentions of past self harm, m because they shower together, canon adjacent, meal replacements, Love Confessions, They're In Love Your Honor

Run Away With Me - Anonymous

5.3k Dark Era Grief/Mourning, Dissociation, Suicidal Thoughts, Soft Soukoku, Dazai Needs a Hug , Dazai Has Feelings, Pining, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sharing a Bed, Chuuya Needs a Hug, Kissing, Dazai asks Chuuya to run away with him

stay the night - Shinkirou

3.6k 22 SKK Gen or Pre-Slash, Developing Relationship, Character Study, Sharing a Bed, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Dazai's depression

Physical Hurt/Comfort

Fool for loyalty, or some other word - osamuchuu

1.7k Dark Era Aftermath of Torture, Blood and Injury Light Angst, chuuya deals with so much tbh, what a champ, Fluff and Angst, Pre-Relationship, Established Relationship, chuuya being Dazai's nurse because he absolutely was Dazai's angry nurse

under wraps - Coffeebiscuits

5k Post-Dark era + Emotional hurt comfort Love confessions, deep talks, Light angst, Fluff and angst, kissing, crushes, sharing a bed, Suicide, Self-Harm, Tending to Wounds TW - Dazai-Typical Suicide Mentions, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm 

From tags: “basically chuuya has to patch dazai upand they talk about some things they need to discuss”

Chuuya also gets some emotional comfort

EXHAUSTION

So if you go too far I'll be there - Kimisu

2.5k 22 SKK - Pre-Fyodor | Cannibalism Arc  No Plot/Plotless, Literal Sleeping Together, Some Fluff, Canon Timeline

From Summary: Based on a HC that Dazai spends days before every major arc planning and arranging the pieces in order for everything to 'work'. He also pushes his body limits a bit too far when doing that sometimes.

SICK FIC

Nothing More Important Than You - StormDew2

3k MAFIA SKK (15) Sickfic, Soft soukoku, Vulnerability

Please like/reblog if this helped u find a fic, I'd be delighted to know asjsj <3

“Dazai takes care of Chuuya” recs here

Fic rec masterlist here

[missr3n3]

Augusnippets Day 27

migraines/chronic pain/phantom pains

fandom: cabin tales (rotten roots AU) TW: first person POV, referenced torture, finger whump, referenced childhood abuse word count: 397 @augusnippets

August 27, 1984

The plan was to tackle the master bedroom, a task I've been dreading since I arrived here. It’s not as cluttered as the living room was, or downright GROSS as the kitchen. The problem is the bed itself – specifically the wood it's made of and the wood it's standing on. Looks like your dad decided the underside of his bed made a decent trashcan for discarded food and beer cans. This means repairs. While I've met so many kind, helpful people around here, more than I could ever deserve, none of them were handymen. I'm on my own.

Even before Easter, the only thing that piece of shit I have to call my father ever taught me was domestic duties. He probably assumed I'd end up rich like him and could hire someone else to do the manual labor. Though even if I was taught such skills, it wouldn't mean a damn thing after what he did to me.

I thought after a year living with the missing fingers, I'd have figured out all the drawbacks and how to circumvent them. Yet trying to grip the bed's frame to pull the rotted pieces out ended with me doubled over in pain. It was like that blonde bitch lady was cutting off my fingers all over again.

In addition to discovering the “wonderful” world of phantom pains, I was reminded you're not the only one facing flashbacks. I can't help but think of it as the universe's punishment. Even God thinks I got off too easy.

No, you made the right call. Getting me out of there was the right thing to do. I shouldn't disrespect the risk you took that night. I'm sorry.

I can't thank you enough for letting me have Mittens back. I don't mean to come across as demeaning, but he's been almost as much of a lifesaver as you. He came upstairs during the worst of it, curled up next to me and started purring like your rickety pickup truck. Maybe it was a coincidence, but the pain faded while he was with me.

As much as I complain sometimes, I can't lose sight of gratitude. I wouldn't have Mittens without you. I wouldn't have a shot at salvaging this house without you. I wouldn't be ALIVE without you. I can't forget that.

I can't stop thinking about you.

[wortsandall]

No Control

heavy tw for dissociation, graphic description of dissociation

words: 12,012

Summary: Cairo was supposed to be the end. Done with Khonshu but ready to live a (relatively) normal life Marc and Steven are unprepared for what comes next. Admittedly, they probably should've been.

Or.

Surprise visitors, brotherhood, and learning how to admit you're NOT okay.

tags: Mentioned Layla El-Faouly, Minor Layla El-Faouly/Marc Spector, Mental Health Issues, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dissociation, Angst, Alternate Universe, Lack of Communication, Post-Moon Knight (TV 2022) Season 01, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Canon-Typical Violence, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Protective Jake Lockley, Aroace Jake Lockley, not relevant but saying it anyway, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Canonical Character Death, Past Character Death, Natasha Romanov Lives, Tony is still dead, Character Study, Domestic Avengers, Team Bonding

[ao3feed-blakeyang]

Disenchanted (youre the broken glass in the morning light//be a burning star if it takes all night)

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Kfkd6uT by s0lar_st0rm777 "She'd actually seen RWY perform before- She'd been on a mission in the city, and Adam had wanted to lay the groundwork himself--Leaving Blake, alone, Downtown in Mistral. The loud music drew Blake to a nearby rooftop. Even from up there, the performance was captivating. The vocalists hauntingly resonant, yet mellow voice seemed like it should clash with the heavy drums and wild guitar riffs- but something about the juxtaposition made for a unique sound- But something was missing. Before she knew it, Adam had returned. chastising her for running off, and taking her back to their always-moving camp." or, Blake and yang bump into each other on a train, accidentally switch bags and change the course of their lives forever or look up the lyrics to save yourself ill hold them back by my chemical romance, and drowning lessons by my chemical romance and take note of them Words: 813, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: RWBY Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/F Characters: Blake Belladonna, Yang Xiao Long, Weiss Schnee, Ruby Rose (RWBY) Relationships: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long Additional Tags: penny + team jnpr will pop up here and there, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Nuts N Dolts on the side, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Past Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, All TWs will also be in the notes in the beginning of each chapter, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blake Belladonna Needs a Hug, rockstar/runaway type beat read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Kfkd6uT

[bimaddieshan]

Paper Doll

TW: Domestic violence, child abuse, referenced alcoholism and strangulation.

The best part of having a window seat on a long flight, Colt thinks, is the direct view of the night sky. Twinkling stars rarely make an appearance in Los Angeles, but thousands of feet off the ground, they shine brightly. It’s one of the very few things he misses about his childhood in Florida. Home was often terrifying and chaotic, but sometimes, Mom and Dad would take him to Everglades National Park where they’d stay until dark, swallowed by stars and a calming quietness. Dad would be sober, Mom would be happy, and he would bask in the attention so rarely offered to him. They could be a happy family, if only for a few hours.

Then he and Mom fled to Los Angeles to be closer to her family. Dad, left in another drunken stupor, was served divorce papers in Florida. The illusion of a happy family had long since shattered, and there was Colt, sad, aching, anxious energy always itching just under his skin.

Always talking too much, always in the way, and for God’s sake, Colt, stay still!

Colt shakes his head and rolls his shoulders. Thinking about his childhood sends him down rabbit holes that take hours to claw out from. The stars are still oddly soothing, somewhat decent company while the plane’s other inhabitants sleep. He blinks blearily, eyes gritty with exhaustion, but sleep won’t come easily tonight. His mind races in circles, each scenario more disastrous than the last, and it takes every ounce of willpower he possesses not to jiggle his legs.

The worry is impossible to turn off. His stomach aches, and he leans his head against the window. He hasn’t felt so anxious since his fall and the horrible recovery that followed. But this feels worse.

Ken is in danger, and he’s on a flight to London for some film he doesn’t even care about anymore.

It’s intuition. Patrick reminds Colt far too much of his father, and Dad always became more dangerous when he sensed that Mom was about to leave. Ken doesn’t talk about Patrick often, and Colt follows his lead. But he does know a few things: Patrick can go on hours-long rants about the smallest perceived slights. He’s possessive. And worst of all? He isn’t afraid to use his fists.

Ken hides it as best he can with coverup, but years of growing up with his father taught Colt what to look for. To an untrained eye, the bruises would be invisible. The grimaces that just barely flash across his face would stay hidden, the hisses of pain barely audible. But Colt knows.

Ken isn’t as invisible as he believes. There are so many people who love him, who see him. Patrick has never even scratched the surface.

Unbidden, memories of his last meeting with Ken flicker before his eyes. He remembers how soft Ken’s lips felt on his, how they’d whispered a quiet I love you, how he’d declared that he was leaving Patrick in part to be with Colt. Colt’s heart had nearly exploded with elation, but any shred of happiness had been rapidly replaced with terror. Colt isn’t afraid of Patrick, but he’s terrified of what Patrick could do to Ken.

Don’t worry about me. I can handle him. I’m gonna pack my stuff before he can even guess what’s happening and dump him in a public place.

Ken had thought it all through. He can be impulsive, but he’d clearly planned all of this out without thinking of his own safety, and the thought terrifies Colt. If Ken is concerned about his own safety, he’d done a fantastic job of hiding it.

Colt shudders against the sudden chill that creeps down his spine. Growing up with an abusive father taught him early to trust his intuition.

And right now, his intuition is screaming at him.

Everything is about to go wrong, and he shouldn’t have left.

***

Colt gingerly lowers himself onto the bed with a groan. He wouldn’t want to work in any other field, but he can’t deny that stunt work takes a bigger toll on him than it used to. If he overdoes it too many days in a row, he spends at least a week paying for it. He’s been in London for a few weeks, and now that his part is done, he can go home.

He knows the drill by now, though. He’d given himself a couple of extra days to do absolutely nothing but relax in bed.

He sighs in relief when the heating pad eases the tension in his aching muscles. He grabs his phone to check his messages. True to his word, Ken has texted him every day so far, keeping him updated on his situation at home. The last text came through hours ago, and Colt’s heart unclenched. Ken’s bags were almost packed. He was almost free.

So far so good! 😊 Love you!

Colt looks at the timestamp and frowns when he double checks the timestamp. It’s 3 PM in Los Angeles. Ken not texting him for hours is strange. Maybe he’s just hyperfocused? He has a lot of stuff, and he gets sidetracked easily…

Everything okay?

He swallows, throat suddenly tight. The text goes through, and he waits for a few minutes for the familiar gray ellipses to make their appearance, but they never come. He’s probably just packing. Colt opens TikTok, but he can’t focus. The minutes pass by agonizingly slowly. The ticking clock is loud in his ears, almost mocking. Colt scowls and barely manages to smother the urge to throw the clock across his room. It wouldn’t do anything but cost him money.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

He’s watched the same video four times and hasn’t absorbed any of it. He scrolls mindlessly, periodically checking his text thread with Ken again. Radio silence is unusual. He scrolls upward. Maybe Ken had a shoot today and Colt forgot, or maybe he’s out with Barb.

The messages offer no clues. He buries his face in the pillow, begging his racing mind to slow down. He can’t even go for a run without his back aching, so now he’s stuck in a lonely hotel room with no company other than his thoughts.

***

There’s an annoying buzzing sound. Colt scowls and shoves the pillow over his ears, but the noise only gets louder. Colt huffs and sits up.

“What the fuck?” He mutters. He spots his phone on the pillow. It’s lit up, a name that Colt can’t see on the pillow. Who the hell is calling him at 4 AM? He leans closer, breath hitching in his throat as soon as he spots the name.

Barb Hanlder

It’s not that he and Barbara aren’t friends. They are! She’s funny and charming, and Colt enjoys her company. It’s just that they’re both don’t call me unless you’re my partner or it’s an emergency people. The phone continues to buzz, and Colt stares at it, his heart clenching with panic. Something is wrong. The buzzing stops and almost immediately starts up again, and Colt swallows.

He shouldn’t have left. He should have stayed home, stayed with Ken and made sure he was safe. Why didn’t he do it?

He feels floaty. Detached from his body. He watches as he picks up the phone and hears himself ask, “Did that motherfucker kill him?”

Barb chokes on a sob. “Colt, Colt, thank God you picked up, it’s so bad I – Wait. No. No. He didn’t kill him. He – “ Barb sniffles and takes a few shaky breaths. “He tried, though.”

Colt closes his eyes. He knew it. “What did he do?”

And so Colt listens as Barb tells him the story, how she and Gloria came to Ken’s apartment to find him barely conscious on the floor. How he’d been choking for air, how he’d gone limp as soon as Barb walked through the door.

When she describes the bruises on his neck, he swallows bile. He puts Barb on speaker and starts frantically gathering his things, ignoring the sharp pain that runs up his spine. He yanks his suitcase from its home on the closet floor and unceremoniously shoves his clothes into it. He should have stayed. He should have stayed and helped Ken pack his things. Patrick never dared to fuck with Ken whenever Colt was around. Colt takes great pleasure in knowing that the other man is terrified of him. All Colt has to do is flex, and the bravado instantly disappears. If he’d been there, this wouldn’t have happened. Ken would be safe. He needs to see the other man with his own eyes, see the rise and fall of his chest, needs to see his big, blue eyes open and wide with life. “I’m getting on the first flight outta here. I’m coming home.” The words is he okay almost fall from his lips, but he stops himself just in time. What kind of question is that?

“How is he?”

Barb hesitates. “Physically? So far he’s okay. It doesn’t look like there’s any internal damage. He’s awake. Ummm. He can’t really talk. His vocal cords took heavy damage, but his voice should be back in a few weeks.”

Ken’s voice. It’s one of the things Colt loves the most about him. It’s deep and soothing, and when he sings, Colt always stops to listen. His voice is smooth; it never cracks. And his singing voice is one of the very few things he’s confident about. A violent attack stole that from him. Colt grips the edge of his suitcase so tightly that it creaks under his hands. That evil bastard has stolen everything from him.

I’m gonna beat the shit out of him.

“Colt? Are you still there?”

Colt takes a few deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth, just the way the therapist he saw after his injury taught him. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “Yeah, sorry. I’m here. You said he’s awake?”

“He’s awake, yes. Gloria and Ryan are in there with him right now. We’re not leaving him alone. He hasn’t really interacted much. He’s in shock, I think. The doctors ran a million tests when he woke up, and then he just…I dunno. He’s staring into space a lot. He doesn’t even seem to realize that we’re here. You’re coming home?”

Even over the phone, Barb’s voice is thick with unshed tears. How long has she been holding it together for? “I’m coming home, yeah. How are you holding up?”

“Oh.” Barb sniffles, and Colt pictures her wiping her eyes. “I don’t know yet. Ask me later. I don’t think it’s really sunk in yet.”

“Fair enough.”

Colt zips his suitcase, not even bothering to give the room his usual final check. Stuff be damned. Clothes and shoes can always be replaced. He and Barb hang up, and the next thing Colt knows, he’s at the airport.

How did he even get here? No matter. Even at 6 AM on a Monday, the line is long, and he groans. Why is this taking so fucking long?

His phone vibrates and he fishes it out of his pocket. God, he’s ready to snap. The irritation ebbs as soon as it appears when he sees who the message is from.

Ken: So Barb told you what happened

It’s not a question. Even over text, he sounds dejected. Resigned. Colt wants to call him, he’s so desperate to hear Ken for himself, but then he remembers the vocal cord damage and sighs. She told me. How are you?????

For five minutes, Colt watches Ken start typing, stop, then start again. His hands start to shake when the next text comes through.

I’m really fucking scared.

Ken isn’t embarrassed to admit when he’s afraid of something. He’ll readily admit to being afraid of bugs, heights, and horror movies. He’s only ever refused to admit fear a few times, and each of those had a common denominator.

Patrick.

It’s the final nail in the coffin. Colt tastes salty tears, but he makes no effort to stop crying. He wants nothing more than to see Ken, to hold him close and to ease his terror, but he can’t. The next available flight is over twenty hours long with two connections. Colt jumps at the chance. If it’s the best they can do, then so be it.

Don’t worry, he texts back. I’m coming.

[boywithskull]

any film/book/tv recs?

ooh thanks for the ask! Honestly I consume media across all genres, so I'm not sure if there's a specific vibe you're after, so I'll just list a couple of different things I really enjoy:

books:

all of Donna Tartt's books obviously :) TGF and TLF are my favourites, but TSH is of course a classic

Wind, Sand and Stars by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (referenced in TGF and is the most beautiful prose work I've ever read, no joke)

Illuminations by Arthur Rimbaud

Orlando by Virginia Woolf (incredibly funny but very heartfelt and is a beautiful reflection on humanity, time, youth, and identity)

The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton (can't believe I only read that for the first time this year)

Max by Avi Duckor-Jones (written by a New Zealand author and is a wonderful coming-of-age story featuring themes of sexuality, family, art, and indigenous NZ culture)

Wir Kinder Vom Bahnhof Zoo by Christiane F. (English title: Zoo Station) - memoir concerning the crisis of teen heroin use in West Berlin in the 70's. Big TW for many topics, so please look them up if you're thinking of reading it

Mysterious Skin by Scott Heim (many TW's also apply, but it's a beautiful novel)

Boy Swallows Universe and Lola in the Mirror by Trent Dalton - Australian contemporary litfic, the first is semi-autobiographical, and the latter features a young woman protagonist and centres topics of female homelessness and domestic violence against women

These Violent Delights by Micah Nemerever (perfect for fans of The Secret History)

The Inseparables by Simone de Beauvoir (only recently discovered a few years ago, and is semi-autobiographical account of her and her best friend's friendship growing up)

movies:

Let the Right One In (2008) - Swedish, fantastic vampire film

Napoleon Dynamite (2004) - hilarious, cult classic, what else is there to say?

Running on Empty (1988) - very gentle, I love River Phoenix

Dating Amber (2020) - funny and heartwarming comedy, with mlm/wlw solidarity and friendship at its heart

Thelma & Louise (1991) - such a rollercoaster, with amazing women as the leads, good focus on friendship, purpose, and self-actualisation

The Lost Boys (1987) - iconic, summer vibes are amazing, love me some campy 80's films, the Walk This Way hazing scene lives in my head rent-free

My Flesh and Blood (2003) - a documentary film about a woman named Susan who fosters a group of children, many of whom have disabilities or terminal illness. I love the way it was filmed and how it portrayed the realities of the situation, neither glamorising it or revelling in misery.

Mysterious Skin (2004) - adaption of the book I mentioned before. HUGE tw for sexual abuse/pedophilia. It's extremely respectful of the issues at hand, and is overall a beautiful work of art with incredible performances

tv:

honestly I haven't been watching many TV shows recently, but my favourites are:

NBC Hannibal

Twin Peaks

Gravity Falls

Druck (Skam Germany)

there are others but for some reason I can't think of any sorry :((((

[insoukokuhell-434]

Soukoku Fic Rec - First Kiss <3

The format I’m using is:

Title - writer (ao3 link) Fic length Time period (teen/mafia skk, 22! Skk, all ages) Additional tags (Tags in bold added by me for extra info) TW

Some fics have parts of the summary/ comments added for additional info

Only for You - StormDew2

9.9k MAFIA SKK (Post 15) Literal Sleeping Together, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Kissing, chuuya gets banned from drinking so dazai gets him some wine, Underage Drinking, Light angst

give me a kiss like a kick in the teeth - communist_sasuke    

3.5k MAFIA SKK (Pre-Dark era) Kissing, Dazai is Whipped, Dazai is oblivious correction: Dazai's not oblivious he's just in denial, Chuuya Is So Done 

Summary: "Not that Dazai thought Chuuya was beautiful, because that would be a bit much. He was attractive, objectively. Not that Dazai was attracted to him.

(Or, more accurately: Dazai was, in fact, very attracted Chuuya.)"

Threats Made in a Hotel Room - Moonyeyes

2k MAFIA SKK Kissing, Making out, Drinking, Sexual Tension, POV Chuuya

Cross-reference - chuuzxi

2.6k MAFIA SKK Fluff and Humor, Bickering Lots of it, Bets & Wagers, Gay Panic, Dazai Osamu is a Tease, Developing Relationship, Mutual Pining, that tag runs HARD here, Denial of Feelings, chuuya goes thru the 5 stages of grief in thirty minutes

Stitches - orphan_account

11.3k MAFIA SKK (Post 15 and Dark Era) First Kiss, Canon Compliant, Mutual Pining, Feelings Realization, Denial of Feelings

it's always been you - devantsun    

2k 22 SKK Love Confessions, kind of???, telepathic soukoku strikes, Fluff and Angst, Rated T for language, softer than the tags imply lol, this is very soft in general, blink and you miss it fukuzawa x mori TW- Dazai-Typical Suicide References

of sunsets and first kisses - Bl34ry

2.5k MAFIA SKK Fluff without Plot, very soft, Fluff and Angst, Maybe a little angst, But it's very soft, and there's kissing, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Crush, this is set to before dazai met oda actually…

Fireside - littlewritergrl

1.9K MAFIA SKK First Kiss, Light Angst, Internalized Homophobia, but just a little??

Fics with good first kiss scenes

(less focused on first kisses)

the moments in between - hellcatspangledshalalala

3.7k  ALL AGES Hurt/Comfort, Post-Corruption, pining, fluff, angst, fluff at the end, character study, Dazai POV, getting together, dazai’s depression

I'll Make A Home In Your Gut Because its Somewhere Warm to Sleep - arahabakii

8.9k 22 SKK Fluff, Angst, Mutual Pining, Feelings Realization, Making Out, Getting Together, Domestic Fluff, Touch-Starved Dazai, Dazai needs a hug, Chuuya needs a hug TW - Dazai-Typical Suicide References

A chance to start again - Root (Fyki)

4.4k 22 SKK Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Fluff, Introspection, they work they shit out

hey look, the sky's falling apart - saffroncassis    

24.8k TEEN SKK (16/17) AU - Canon Divergence Hurt/Comfort, Protective Nakahara Chuuya, Angst, Fluff, Humor, Developing Relationship Found Family (the Akutagawa siblings, Oda's kids, Kyouka, Oda, Ango) TW- Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse and discussions of both these, also cw food for the whole fic

a piece about tensions unresolved - acuteguwu

2.1k 25 (AU) Alternate Universe - No Powers Fluff, Friends to Lovers, chuuya is a mess, dazai is no better tbh, kinda unrequited crush, First Kiss

Summary: "Chuuya’s been into Dazai for so long that it doesn’t seem relevant anymore."

the same groove - halfbloom (diphylleias)

11.3K MAFIA SKK (16), 22 SKK Feelings realization, Pining, Love Confessions, Light Angst, Happy Ending, Growing Up

Summary: "Dazai always knows too much, and too fast, whether it be for the better or for the worse. But for Chuuya, the realization comes slower, gradually, clumsily over the years"

Please like/reblog if this helped u find a fic, I'd be delighted to know <33

Soukoku Fic Rec Masterlist

[ao3feed-crimeboys]

innocence

by m0mmy1ssu3s

TW?: S3XU4L J0K3S, S3XU4L T0UCH1NG, N0N C0NS3NSU4L 'T0UCH1NG', ANGST/FLUFF, SWEARING AU: DSMP lives together, Tomboo, Innocent Tommy, Flirty Ranboo, SBI Family Dynamic. Info: Ranboo decides he wants to do a prank on Tommy, So he decides to make flirty and s3xu4l jokes about him, meanwhile innocent tommy is totally oblivious. Ranboo decides to go further and make an OBVIOUS joke about wanting to sleep with him, and the prank soon escalates to Ranboo 'touching' Tommy the rest of the day.

Words: 1496, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Dream SMP

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Characters: Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Cara | CaptainPuffy, Niki | Nihachu, Phil Watson | Philza, Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot, Sam | Awesamdude, Jack Manifold, Grayson | Purpled (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo

Relationships: Ranboo/TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson | Philza, Cara | CaptainPuffy & TommyInnit, Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)

Additional Tags: Sexual Harassment, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Past Sexual Abuse, only implied tho, Sexual Assault, technically, Attempted Sexual Assault, Platonic Cuddling, Neurodivergent TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Autistic Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Has ADHD (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream Has ADHD (Video Blogging RPF), Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, both of them are also only applied, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, Wordcount: Over 1.000, Traumatized TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Ambiguous/Open Ending, Tommyinnit is 16, TommyInnit is Not Okay (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Dream SMP Ensemble, Ranboo Bashing (Video Blogging RPF), kind of, not too bad but i don't rlly like them in this, this was written before they came out, so wrong pronouns possibly, Dream SMP Ensemble Live Together