#I’m actually getting increasingly annoyed I come here because I hate social media don’t make this like everywhere else 😒

[juniperhillpatient]

dude this app is getting steadily ruined can staff calm down

[icequeenbae]

Stay with Me (m) | BBH

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Long-distance relationship, established relationship, grumpy Baek, smut

Warnings: explicit content, unprotected sex, upset sex (is there such a thing), oral (f receiving), consent is not explicitly stated but implied

Word Count: ~2.6k

Summary: Baekhyun was upset because you had to leave again. His frustration made things escalate to an unexpected extent. He might’ve just wanted to make you late for the plane though.

© Please do not copy/ post on other platforms without permission.

Let’s celebrate my first ‘writing comeback’ anniversary together ❤❤❤  [February 17, 2020 – forever]

Author’s Note: Soooo… This was actually the first fic I wrote after many years of my writer’s coma. Wasn’t going to post it, but it’s important to save the date. A year ago during a business trip I was listening to Baekhyun’s ‘Stay Up’ in the backseat of a cab, and it suddenly got to me in a very new and profound way. As soon as I got to the hotel, the doc was created. Countless sleepless nights later, I can admit that I haven’t really stopped writing ever since.

Baekhyun isn’t just my bias or my favourite character to write, he’s so much more special to me than that. I’m not sure how long this journey is going to last or where it leads me, but so far he’s gifted me with one full year of this magic. He’ll always have a precious spot in my heart 🤍

Okay, done with the sappy times now (no). As usual – big thanks to @baekshoney​​​ for having a look, and I hope you guys enjoy this little oneshot!

This was one of those days. One of the days you hated, and Baekhyun didn’t do much to make it better for you. On the contrary, he was sulking since early morning. First, because you’d left him alone in bed and he woke up being cold. Then he just kept getting annoyed with everything. Why were you having coffee for breakfast again, when you should sleep on the plane? Why weren’t you packing snacks, when the airport food always made your stomach upset? You should’ve definitely worn one of his hoodies, since none of yours were warm and comfy enough, did he have to remind you?

Yes, this was the day you had to fly back home, leaving him behind once again. Which was exactly what brought his tsundere ways to the surface. He was just… upset.

‘Baby, it’s not the first time I’m going home, I’ll be fine,’ you grinned at his grumpy expression and poured him a cup of coffee as soon as he sat his butt down on the kitchen stool.

Baekhyun wasn’t exactly subtle in how he felt about you going away. The two of you had been doing this ‘long-distance thing’ since the very beginning of your relationship. You’d met during your first ever trip to Korea around two years ago and instantly clicked – just like that – not spending a single day without at least a quick message exchange with one another.

It was tough at times. There was no way for you to see each other more frequently, and you were often apart for months. Granted, you were keeping in touch religiously – texting every single day, having video calls every other night (whenever you could manage the schedules and time zones), posting ambiguous pictures on social media only for each other to understand. Still, you missed each other so terribly…

‘I don’t understand why you have to go anyway, you can just stay here with me,’ Baekhyun grumbled, eyeing the kitchen floor with a frown. You pursed your lips to contain the coo about to fly out of your mouth at how cute he was, pouting and complaining. Like an angry little bird. Before you could stop yourself, you reached out your hand and ruffled his already messy bedroom hair.

The way his nose scrunched up meant he wasn't in the mood to be playful. You sighed and leaned on the corner of the kitchen table.

‘You know I have work to get back to, Bae, I can’t be on vacation all year long.’

He was being rather childish about your departure, especially when you were already fully dressed and ready to go. The only thing stalling you was that Chanyeol, who insisted on being your ride to the airport today, hadn’t come to pick you up just yet, giving you some time to smooth over your boyfriend’s feathers.

Truth be told, you were only holding up the appearances for him. It was very possible that you were even more upset about having to go than he was. In fact, every time your week or two together were nearing an end, you felt nauseous at the thought that you wouldn’t be able to see his face, or hold his hand, or feel his warm breath on your skin, or kiss the tiny mole on his cheek.

In all honesty, you were... a mess. You only displayed yourself as calm and collected during your goodbyes because you knew his moodiness was merely a tactic to conceal his pain. So, you tucked your own feelings away to make it a bit more manageable for him. In reality, you broke down as soon as you arrived home and walked into your lifeless apartment. Each time, you had to find excuses and avoid talking to him via video messengers during those initial weeks, pretending to suddenly be swamped at work. You realized that seeing your eyes all red and puffy from crying every night would most definitely break his heart and worsen his longing. That you knew, because seeing him unhappy was excruciating. You wanted more than anything to deliver him from any further suffering.

It took all of your self-restraint not to reach out for his warm embrace or let the tears flow freely. He’d probably not let you go then, always telling you to just stay with him anyways. But you were both adults and had commitments, although hundreds and thousands of miles apart.

As your eyes were beginning to prick from observing his state and getting overwhelmed with your own feelings, you decided it was safer to move out ten minutes early, despite the call from Yeol not coming through yet. Anything to not let Baekhyun see you cry or cling to him desperately the way you wished to in that moment.

‘Well, you can pout all you want, I’m going to get my stuff,’ you said in an airy tone trying to elevate his mood slightly.

‘No.’

He stopped you in your tracks, grabbing your wrist. You gazed at him, confused as to what he meant. He was still looking down, eyebrows knitted together and chest heaving with almost anxious breaths.

‘Bae?’

‘No,’ he repeated, softer this time, but still not making eye contact with you. Instead, he tugged at your wrist and pulled you closer to him. You felt his grasp weaken until your wrist was free, however, your waist was not. His arms snaked around it, and he pulled you into himself, basically nuzzling his face into your chest.

‘Baekhyun?’ You squeaked, doing your best to fight off the goosebumps that littered your skin immediately after the contact. Your body never once asked for permission to react to him, and this time was no exception. His right hand traveled down your spine to the curve of your ass as his nose nudged one of your breasts. You shivered, grabbing at his shoulders, and he suddenly growled, knowing, sensing that your nipples had already perked up underneath the fabric of your bra.

Although he was trying to put you into one of his many oversized hoodies all the time, it was summer, so you were wearing a sundress (like any sane person would). Lucky for Baekhyun, this type of clothing made it even easier for him.

He rose from his seat and hoisted you up so abruptly that you only managed to yelp and grab at his neck for balance. You were then placed on the empty side of the dining table away from the leftover breakfast. Looking down at where your boyfriend’s hands were, you watched him frantically pull your dress up, before coming to your senses and trying to stop him.

‘Bae… What are you doing? Yeol is gonna be here any minute, we can’t just f…ugh!’ You cried out in surprise as he yanked your hips forcefully up to his face, completely ignoring your words. There’s no way he was going to...

‘Baekhyunie, please stop, you know I’m going to be late, what is…’ He didn’t even let you finish your rant, leaving a trail of insistent wet kisses upon the sensitive skin along the panty line while leading up to your protruding hip bone. Breath caught up in your throat, you couldn’t get the rest of the sentence out even if you wanted to. Did you really want to? With his head right there between your thighs, his dark burning eyes looking at you – completely immobilized by him – in the most intense and intimate way possible. His lips were glistening after he ran his tongue over them habitually, and when he leaned in and licked at your still clothed center, you belatedly realized that you weren’t even breathing. The realization only came with the wheezing gasp you’d let out, when your legs wrapped around his head as if on cue. Like fuel to the fire, your responsiveness only spurred him on. You didn’t even have time to realize that your boyfriend had already moved your panties out of the way when his impatient lips were on you again.

‘B- Baekhyun…’ You muttered, reaching your hand down to give pushing his head away a feeble try. ‘We can’t do this now, please stop... the airport…’

His ears seemed deaf to your reluctant pleas as he only employed more of his tongue to make you lose the last bits of your sober mind completely, melting and thrashing underneath his touch. He eased one of your thighs off of his shoulder, pushing it up and spreading you out before diving back in, paying no attention to your increasingly disheveled state.

At this point you could only sob, speech incoherent, all attempts to push him away or close your legs futile. And that alone made him grow feverish with the need to be inside you, to feel you once again before he had to let you go.

He was really good with his mouth, as usual, so by the time one of his hands left your thigh to tease you a little further with his long deft fingers you were so ready to take more that you barely registered the burn of two digits sliding inside. You were still a little sore from the night before, which you’d spent making love for hours on end, knowing that you won’t be touching each other anytime soon. But that was meaningless now.

His tongue expertly swirled around your clit, while his wrist found a familiar angle that always made you get vocal. Your back arched instantly as you cried out his name, barely grasping that you were still tugging at his soft locks and possibly causing discomfort. It was clear that your release was mere seconds away with your legs shaking and inner muscles clenching, and that was exactly where Baekhyun wanted you. Aching for his touch, needing him as much as he needed you. Just the two of you, caught up in the act of lustful desperation.

He’d worked his tongue diligently, almost pushing you over the edge by sucking on your most sensitive spot for just a second, and... then you suddenly felt him pull away.

‘No, no- what?’ You could barely form sentences, let alone complain, but your frenzied tone made his already rock-hard flesh twitch. His pants were down in seconds, and there wasn’t even a thought of pausing to get a condom on or cool off a little bit. You were both on the verge of getting overwhelmed by this passionate longing when... your phone suddenly lit up, indicating an incoming call. Before you could snap out of the moment you were having, Baekhyun had you flat on your back, all slick and ready for him to push inside. And that he did — in one quick and rough movement, filling you up and giving you no time to even make a sound before his hips tested you out with a couple of low amplitude thrusts. The table moved slightly, soft clanking of tableware falling on deaf ears. Meanwhile, Baekhyun grabbed onto your hips, lifting your ass in the air for more control over the penetration.

‘Baek, I swear… You have like 2 minutes before Chan-’ A vicious thrust reached further than before, definitely getting your friend’s name out of your mind for good. And anything else for that matter.

Baekhyun snapped his hips as if he wanted to get as deep as humanly possible, as if he wanted to literally ruin you, and you could only scratch at his forearm while losing yourself in the feeling of his hips colliding with yours and the delectable sounds the action produced.

‘Baby,’ Baekhyun suddenly breathed out hoarsely, eyebrows knitted together as if in pain, ‘I can’t hold it off-’

Hearing his voice so strenuous and somehow vulnerable, you threw your head back and closed your eyes, spreading your legs further apart to allow him to better angle his powerful thrusts.

Your limbs were starting to grow numb and the veins on your neck popped when you moaned, and that’s when Baekhyun let out a strained ‘ah’, holding you in place by the hips to give you his erratic final thrusts.

In that moment you felt like something snapped inside you. Your core was tight around your lover’s cock, your body shaking in pre-orgasmic bliss, and you’d never experienced it this way. You felt so full and content in this moment when he was still moving his hips and groaning stiffly above you, riding out his high. There was nothing else he needed to do to take you along. The sensation of his warmth inside you made you pulsate, wailing so loudly that Baekhyun had to cover your mouth with his palm. He kept going for a bit to prolong your orgasm and let you slowly come back to your senses.

Your eyes stared vacantly at the kitchen ceiling and your throat was dry, although Baekhyun’s hand was still clasped over your mouth. When both of you managed to catch your breath, you just gazed at each other for a few long moments. You were so spent that you couldn’t even read the semi-blank expression on his face. He slowly slipped his palm off of your face, still hovering over your body.

‘Baekhyunie…’ You murmured, touching his cheek gently. He was usually lowkey annoyed whenever you went on to kiss the little mole on his face instead of his lips. This time, however, he only lowered his head further to let you do your thing. You pressed your lips to the tiny dot on his skin, leaning back onto the table to find his eyes with your own.

‘I love you,’ he suddenly whispered in a broken voice, then cleared his throat and started over. ‘I really want you to stay with me.’

It was… bittersweet.

You winced, feeling him pull out, and accepted his help sitting up. Holding your boyfriend close by the shirt, you nudged his nose with yours and looked up to his sad dejected eyes.

‘I know, Bae,’ your voice sounded as uplifting as you could manage. ‘I will find a way to come see you on tour in the next couple of months, I promise.’

Baekhyun was about to say something else if not for the sudden ring of his phone that made both of you snap out of your tiny little world.

‘Dang, I bet it’s Yeol. Pick up!’ You pushed your boyfriend towards the phone and eased down from the table, grabbing the tissues to clean up quickly.

‘Yes,’ Baekhyun responded.

‘Are you two fucking?!’ Your nose scrunched up at Chanyeol’s vulgar shout.

‘Yes?’ At this you paused and smacked Baekhyun’s pec for the shameless (yet truthful) response. ‘Whoa- feisty. Chanyeol-ah, better hang up before you hear her- Ow!’ He raised an arm to defend himself from your playful hits.

‘You realize that if you do not come down in ten you’re most likely missing the flight?’ You heard Chanyeol reply after a frustrated sigh.

‘Not a problem for m-’ Baekhyun was interrupted by your yell.

‘We’re gonna be down in ten, please check the fastest routes to the airport, Yeolie!’

You ran out of the kitchen barely catching Baekhyun’s grumbling as he repeated after you.

‘Yeolie. Why the hell does she even call you that. It’s not like you- What? Shut up, you bastard!’

You smiled to yourself. At least his friends knew how and when to mess with him. If you weren’t there… They got him. He'd be okay. And with that you were happy for now.

A/N:This piece was my reintroduction to writing, and I’d love to hear any type of comments you have^^  Thank you guys for all the interaction and amazing responses so far, I cherish each and every one of them. You're the best <3

[copperbadge]

Do you have any thoughts about the announced adaptation of 'the City Watch' books by BBC America? Opinions seem pretty mixed in the fandom and I'd love to hear your take?

For a show I was almost definitely never going to watch from the outset, I have more thoughts about the Watch adaptation than I really know what to do with, to be honest. It’s actually hard to assemble them coherently. 

There are basically three strands of opinion I have about watching The Watch: personal, critical, and literary. 

The personal: 

I don’t have a great history of enjoying media adaptations of Terry Pratchett’s work. One reason I didn’t watch Good Omens until a month or two after its release is that I knew this about myself and I didn’t want to turn it on, get disappointed, and turn it off, as I’d done with The Hogfather (we need not speak of The Animated Soul Music, lord). Granted, the Death books are not my favorites, so I was never going to deeply engage with The Hogfather, and then they came out with The Colour Of Magic, another non-favorite, so I skipped it, and so I was super disengaged by the time Going Postal came out (though I should really give Going Postal a chance because I do love Going Postal as a book). So I acknowledge this isn’t objective, this is personal, but it’s still a factor.  

So I’m not coming into this whole situation with The Watch as someone who actually wants, or enjoys, TV adaptations of Pterry’s books, Good Omens notwithstanding – and let’s be real, Good Omens is an outlier. It was a collaboration, one of the original authors had deep control over the adaptation, and also Good Omens isn’t a Discworld book. It’s much more thoroughly rooted in our known reality, which makes it easier to convey to television. But my ultimate point is that when I hear about a Discworld book being adapted to TV, I shrug and move on. I have the books. I don’t need the shows. 

The critical: 

I think it is a bad habit of fandom that we extrapolate a lot of inference from a relatively small amount of data – we tend to take a couple of photos, a press release, some casting information, and very quickly make a large set of assumptions. It’s not necessarily that these assumptions are wrong, but we jump to a lot of conclusions. I’m thinking of early backlash over Good Omens, which I don’t even remember what it was about but I remember Gaiman having to get pretty stern about “could you wait until at least the trailer is out before jumping down my throat”. I’m also thinking of the casting of David Thewlis as Remus Lupin, which was not well-received until we saw more than blurry set photos. 

Now, all that having been said, some of the casting news has been…difficult. On the one hand, a Black Sybil Ramkin? Sign me the fuck up. On the other, I know that for a lot of people, having a Sybil who is both large and older is really important (I think it’s important too). Especially if Vimes is older, it’s creepy and backwards to have Sybil be young and hollywood-idea-of-pretty (even if the time travel element is involved, it gets into a weird area). Also, I’m really over only ever casting people of color as villains or supporting-role-women. Vimes canonically comes from a “poor but respectable” neighborhood that could easily be reframed as an ethnic neighborhood, which would be especially pointed and interesting given his family’s long connection to the history of the city. An Indian or part-Indian Sam Vimes would be really, really interesting and cool, for example. 

There’s also a lot of discussion about casting a nonbinary person as Cheery and explicitly setting Cheery up as nonbinary, as opposed to explicitly a trans woman*, especially since in the books she identifies as a woman, not as nonbinary. But I’m not entirely sure if Cheery as nonbinary is actually going to be canon or if that’s just the reporting on the show not knowing how to handle the whole Female Dwarf situation. Not everyone interprets Cheery as trans at all, either, because of how dwarf gender identity works, which complicates matters somewhat, so I’m not going to wade too far into these waters. I do think it’s great enby actors are getting work in enby roles, but there’s some issues there that need further examination. 

(* Note -- corrected the above after it was pointed out to me that NB are not trans light; I’ve changed it to trans woman rather than trans-as-umbrella-term, more here.)

So I think overall it’s early days to make a lot of calls about what The Watch will and won’t be, but I also think there’s a lot of reason to be concerned and annoyed, and that brings us to the real, hardcore reason that I saw the first reporting on The Watch and immediately noped out: 

The literary:

“Punk rock thriller.”

Oh go fuck yourself. 

Despite everything I said above about not making snap judgements I immediately read that it would be a dark punk rock thriller police procedural and went “Well, guess that’s that” and walked away from the idea of being even vaguely excited about this show, because what I read demonstrated a basic, fundamental lack of grip on what the Watch books are about. 

One, the Watch books aren’t about crime. They really genuinely aren’t. The crimes are macguffins on which to hang social commentary about other things entirely. Even in the very earliest Watch books, when Pterry was still mostly making fun of high fantasy, the crimes the Watch investigated were committed in the service of a larger discussion about things like totalitarianism, interculturalism, and civic life. There’s at least one moment, and I believe several but I’d have to re-read the books to be sure, where Pterry explicitly makes fun of murder mysteries where the hero Solves Crimes Like Sherlock Holmes. Vimes hates clues. Feet Of Clay has an extended subplot about how you 100% cannot trust clues even when the author is the one feeding them to you. I do not want a Watch series that is about Clues.  

Two, the Watch books are explicitly the antithesis of the action genre. They have action in them, but the point is that nobody in these books are action heroes; they’re ordinary people attempting to go about their jobs in a situation where that constantly becomes increasingly difficult. I read “punk rock thriller” and I thought to myself of the dedication of Guards! Guards!: 

They may be called the Palace Guard, the City Guard, or the Patrol. Whatever the name, their purpose in any work of heroic fantasy is identical: it is, round about Chapter Three (or ten minutes into the film) to rush into the room, attack the hero one at a time, and be slaughtered. No one ever asks them if they want to. This book is dedicated to those fine men.

This does get a bit tricky because by the end of Snuff, Vimes is very heroic, almost too heroic for my comfort, but at the same time his heroism is of a very specific sort: he is heroic not because he slaughters the palace guard who get in his way or shoots the baddie or blows up a cop car with a helicopter (or vice versa) but because he deeply, intensely hates those things, and wants nothing to do with them. He is heroic because he is forced into it by circumstance, but spite in the face of monstrousness is what powers him. I think of The Fifth Elephant, where Vimes has just killed a werewolf: 

There were a lot of things he could say. “Son of a bitch!” would have been a good one. Or he could say, “Welcome to civilization!” He could have said, “Laugh this one off!” He might have said, “Fetch!” But he didn’t, because if he had said any of those things then he’d have known that what he had just done was murder.

I don’t trust someone who thinks The Watch should be reimagined as a thriller to understand Sam Vimes. Like, there’s room for interpretation as to Vimes’ character, but there is a fundamental underlying bedrock Vimes is built on and if you don’t grasp the broad points of that, you’re just writing a cop show with some names stitched on.  

Three, the Watch books aren’t a static series, they aren’t like cozy mysteries where the circumstances change but the hero rarely does. That’s nothing against cozy mysteries; I love mystery novels and some of my favorites involve characters who don’t even age over the course of the forty years the books were written in. But you cannot pastiche the Watch and expect it to work. 

Again this is a bit of extrapolation based on low amounts of data but I think it’s probably accurate – the casting indicates that either we’re dealing with the events of Night Watch or at the very least heavily engaged with aspects of it. But Night Watch, while I think it’s one of Pterry’s best books hands down, doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It is one point in a very specific developmental arc, not just for Vimes but for the entire Watch. If we’re dealing just with the plot of Night Watch (which I don’t think we are) that’s tough to pull off. If, as I suspect, they’re going to be pulling from various aspects of various Watch books, then that’s just fucking nonsense. 

Even Carrot, who is a very constant figure, undergoes some fundamental shifts in personality between Guards! Guards! and, say, The Fifth Elephant. Vimes, while maintaining his personal moral and ethical code, undergoes a radical shift between Guards! Guards! and Night Watch, and he continues to develop emotionally and in some ways spiritually up until Snuff. The Vimes who bitches about diversity in hiring in Men At Arms will not react to any given situation the way the Vimes who befriends the goblins in Snuff will. 

And because these books also all address very specific issues, you can’t just slam them all together and expect to get anything resembling the Watch as Pterry envisioned it over the course of the books.

So while I love the comedy, the characters, the plots, even the macguffin crimes, I believe that a Watch book – a Discworld book of any kind – without that satirical bite is just a high-fantasy husk. There’s no point to it, nothing that sets it apart from a bad Saturday Night Live skit about Game of Thrones. The tv series might actually turn out great and all my concerns will have been unfounded, but first looks aren’t promising on a number of really basic levels. 

So we’ll see. If I’m wrong, great; the show will probably electrify fandom in the same way Good Omens did. If I’m right, well, I had no hopes to begin with, so I’ll just enjoy re-reading Night Watch, which is the book that got me back into fandom and which you can all blame for my presence here today. :D

[purplesurveys]

1063

survey by pinkchocolate

Have you done any of the same things as me this year? (2020 edition)

Planned a shopping spree with a friend?

Visited a shopping centre/mall? Malls are extremely commonplace here and honestly they already serve as the main tourist attractions if you find yourself in Manila, which is why Manila has never been a popular tourist destination itself (foreign tourists usually head to neighboring provinces, which is smart on their end). I’ve been to malls at least 20-30 times this year, but that’s only because of the pandemic. I probably go close to 50-70 times in a normal year.

Had lunch with a friend? Yeah I caught lunch with Angela a couple times at the start of the year. I had a one-photo-a-day gimmick on Instagram, and I’m pretty sure I have a photo of her in there during one of our lunch dates.

Ordered pizza at a restaurant? Again, at the start of the year. Gab and I loved Italian restaurants so we definitely ordered pizza several times.

Been in a department store? I needed to briefly enter one a couple of weeks ago to look for gift wrappers.

Bought pretty new lingerie?

Had coffee with a friend? Yeah Gab and I had study dates at coffee shops every single week. Now, obviously, I just take myself.

Bought DVDs?

Had a cold?

Bought toiletries as a gift for someone else?

Had dinner in a restaurant with your family? Yeah I’m fairly certain we did this at least a couple of times between January and early March. The last time I dined in anywhere was a month ago, but I was only with my parents and my siblings didn’t come along.

Had one of your kitchen appliances break? Our plumbing is a little fucked in general and sometimes we’ll have minor leaks on the floor. My dad’s knives have also gotten a bit dull, so I got him a new knife set for Christmas. But no damage to appliances.

Watched a movie at the cinema?

Struggled for food when the panic buying began? We struggled in that it was a bitch to enter the groceries at first. My dad did the grocieries for us during that time and that was back when they strictly enforced the number of people allowed in the supermarket at one time; and no matter how early he queued, there was always already a line that got there before him. He’d wait around three hours and once he was finally let in, a bunch of alleys or sections in the grocery would already be empty or at least close to becoming empty. We never went hungry or had to skip meals or anything like that, but I do remember having to make do with lesser-known brands we never used before because sometimes those would be the only options left at the grocery.

Wanted to hug a friend, but didn't because you had to social distance? I hugged Angela when I saw her a couple of days ago, and I also hugged Gab when we were still together. 

Felt afraid of Covid? My fears over it have tamed over the year, to be honest; but I’m still wary, of course. I hate it when people stand near me and I follow the safety protocols everywhere I go.

Felt afraid to leave the house? Only during the peak of the virus, from March to around May or June. Nowadays I kinda have to go out every now and then for the sake of my sanity.

Deliberately avoided watching the news because it made you feel upset? I mean I took up journ lol so I always watch the news, no matter how upsetting it can get. The one and only time I remember asking my sister to switch the channel was when there was a report on animal abuse.

Had to cancel plans for your birthday? I didn’t have plans for it in the first place, or at least I didn’t have the chance to make them yet, so I’m glad there was nothing to cancel.

Spent your birthday at home? This was the only choice I had. My birthday fell on the most serious and strictest phase of the quarantine, and this was back when nothing was open yet.

Collected a parcel from your doorstep? Online shopping is a norm for me now, lol. I used to not trust it, but now I probably buy at least one item a week.

Eaten an entire box of chocolates in one day? I don’t even like chocolate that much. That sounds so uncomfortably sweet.

Drank fruit flavoured cider?

Eaten birthday cake? Sure, we had cake for my mom’s, my aunt’s, and my cousin’s/godson’s birthdays.

Had a grandparent move into long-term care? My remaining grandparents are all fortunately still very healthy.

Kept a journal of your thoughts and feelings during lockdown? This is technically it, whether’s there’s a lockdown or not. I tried starting a journal after my breakup, but I couldn’t keep it up because my wrist strains easily from handwriting now, hahaha. I find that doing surveys suffice.

Had distressing dreams/nightmares related to the pandemic? No, but about other pressing events in my life.

Felt concerned about your financial situation? Not mine but my family’s.

Returned to a social platform that you took a break from? I left Facebook for a few months after the breakup. I’m back on it again because I had missed the memes, but I also want to permanently delete that account for good, open a new one, and just add the people I want to keep having in my circle. Like I love Gabie’s family to death but I don’t see the point in being Facebook friends with them still, and it actually feels kinda awkward now still seeing them on my list. Idk. We’ll see. I might keep my account or start a new one altogether.

Missed a past hobby or interest? I mean I missed going to malls and bars and going out with my friends, if that counts as an interest. I had to do much less of that this year.

Started a new hobby? I started doing embroidery about a month ago, and a few days ago I started working out. My body is as sore as all fuck, but at least it makes me feel good about myself. For the new year, I also plan on starting a skincare routine after 22 years of not doing anything with my face lol and maybeeee start experimenting with coffee and buy different kinds of beans just because?? Idk, I have a lot of cute hobbies planned out for next year haha I’m excited to see how it goes.

Joined some new Facebook groups? Both for work and personal purposes, yep.

Made some new friends online? I definitely like that I’ve become closer and more familiar with the survey community here. I feel like I barely interacted with anyone pre-Covid, when real life was still a bit more hectic and when it was more difficult to find time to relax and sit down and read everyone’s answers. I also became friends with Justine, Angel, and Bianca when I started as an intern at my workplace.

Felt annoyed because you saw someone without a mask? Everyone wears a mask in public, and there are always people assigned to monitor and lightly scold those stubborn enough to take their masks off. So this isn’t the case, but what I do find annoying is when people stand or walk too close to you. Just last week at the grocery this lady was close enough to be breathing down my neck when I was lining up at the cashier; being non-confrontational for the most part, it felt like being in the deepest pit of hell.

Felt like people were staring at you when you wore a mask? I feel like people are more likely to stare at people who DON’T have a mask. 

Bought new stationery? My sister has tons of stationery in her room for whatever reason; when I need one to write short notes or letters, I just ask for some from her. 

Video-called your extended family and friends? For sure. We did this a lot especially during the earlier parts of the year.

Written a letter to someone you missed?

Disagreed with the behaviour of a friend?

Felt surprised when someone wanted to be your friend? No one directly said it to me; but as an intern on my first day of the job, it was a really pleasant surprise to find that the co-interns I was going to be with weren’t boring, unemotional cogs who just aimed to do work. They were HILARIOUS from the get-go, was confused as fuck about work, and I could see they just wanted to make our tiny intern family a close-knit and happy group, to which I gladly agreed and went along with.

Bought a new pair of shoes? I got new shoes meant for my first job interview, but I haven’t gotten any brand new sneakers in a while :(

Replaced some toiletries that you ran out of during lockdown? I guess? Toiletries are necessities, so.

Bought some new books? I read new ones, but I didn’t buy them. Some I saw copies of on the internet; one was given as a gift to me.

Bought new cosmetics? I don’t use those.

Received a belated birthday present?

Received a present from a friend overseas?

Discovered a new author that you liked?

Felt like you were drifting away from people you were once close to? *A person. Yeah, well.

Found out that someone you knew had contracted Covid?  She’s a mutual friend from my high school days. We aren’t close but we’ve kept in touch by still following each other on social media. She wrote about her experience with Covid on a blog entry.

Realised you had formed a deep connection with someone? I got a lot closer with Andi both because we had to work together for our thesis and because they were there for me, unconditionally and untiringly, when I was coping with my breakup and was in rough shape.

Worried about the financial situation of someone close to you? Of my family, like I said, yes. We had to sell the Vitara because the money that pours into the household monthly isn’t enough to keep paying for it. To be fair, that car was a very big impulse buy by my dad, so we didn’t and don’t feel too bad about losing it hahaha. 

Let your guard down to someone? I don’t think so. I was on red alert this year since Gab increasingly broke my trust.

Had an issue with something on social media? Yeah, but I don’t want to get into it. That was such a long time ago and is so irrelevant now.

Felt disconnected from others? I deliberately did so three months ago, so much so that I had acquaintances I barely talked to since graduating talk to Andi and ask where I’ve been.

Changed your internet provider? We’ve had the same one for like 8-9 years now. It works pretty okay for five people who stream videos all day, so we haven’t felt the need to switch.

Felt fortunate/thankful? I mean I’m here, scar-less, and happy with myself on December 31, 2020, right?

Tried some new foods that you enjoyed? Baked sushi is so fucking good.

Re-read a book that you loved? Crazy Is My Superpower by AJ Mendez (aka my favorite girl wrestler, AJ Lee) is always a good read to come back to.

[k-popscenxrios]

Didn’t Ask For This Pt 14 (Roommate!JK x OC)

A/N: So! I’ve written some JK POV, but I wrote it in the third person! I tried it in first person, but it just felt like I was writing from Ari’s POV to me. I feel like it’s less confusing in third person! Anyway, the story, if it goes as planned, has two or three parts after this one! I’m getting seriously sad about it honestly. I’m going to miss this story so dang much!!!!

Summary: “I didn’t know you hated me so much,” he spoke as he grabbed my wrist and once again turned me around to face him, “and quite honestly, I don’t think I’ve done anything horrible enough for you to hate me to the degree that you do.” “You say that like the hate isn’t mutual,” I remarked as he shook his head. There was a bitter smile on his face as he took a deep breath, “I think you are quite honestly one of the worst human beings I’ve had to come in contact with.”

5k words | drama/angst ✞ | fluff ♡ | mature themes ✗

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Finale

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

(This gif loads for me on mobile but doesn’t on pc and idk how to fix it!! Sorry ;( )

*Third Person POV*

Jungkook had been wrong many times before, but nothing has made him feel so completely and utterly guilty. He played their argument in his head over and over again, each time feeling worse and worse. He was so worked up, and he let his anger get the best of him.

He finally pulled into the parking lot of the diner he and Soomin had agreed on over the phone. He couldn’t believe that he was doing this, but he had good intentions. The girl just would not stop messaging him for the two of them to meet up.

Walking into the diner, he could feel his nerves spike. All he was thinking about was RaeAri. He couldn’t stop thinking about her face when he walked out the door. Her sad and broken expression had him in the worst mood. He was driving himself crazy thinking about her. Why couldn’t he think about the good things like her smile and her laugh. He was trying to force himself to reflect on the good things, but that backfired on him really quick when he felt discomfort in his lower region.

Soomin was quick to excitedly wave him down as he felt his throat close in. This wasn’t gonna be fun…

“Hey Jungkookie!” she smiled as he silently sat down, not giving her much of a smile to greet her, “I’m glad you contacted me.”

“Mm,” He nodded, swallowing as he tried to shove the thoughts of RaeAri out of his head. He wasn’t meeting Soomin for the reasons that RaeAri would assume if she found out… He couldn’t help but weigh himself down just at the thought of RaeAri finding out about him meeting Soomin.

Since Taehyung knew about them meeting up, there was no way that Ari wasn’t going to find out. The thought was making him sick… He wanted her to get jealous over him, but now he just feels like a huge jerk.

“So I was wondering,” Soomin snapped him out of his thoughts as Jungkook’s eyes locked onto hers. “I know it’s a little soon to bring this up, but I’m just really excited.”

Jungkook raised a brow, his interest peaking slightly. He shouldn’t have been surprised that she was about to talk about something relatively serious considering how much she’s been pestering him over social media.

“Are you considering this a date?” She asked, her eyes wide with curiosity and, quite frankly, delusion. Jungkook’s curiosity shifted to confusion before a humorless smile appeared on his face.

“What? No,” he shook his head, very blunt with his answer, “That’s not what this is.”

Soomin’s smile slowly faded, not very subtle with her disappointment. “Well it’s very misleading. I’ve been asking you to go on a date with me for a while now, and you calling me today made this seem like a date.”

“I hate to break it to you, but this is far from a date,” Jungkook laughed, “I called you to come out here so that I could tell you to stop it with the messages.”

Soomin frowned at his answer, but he wasn’t backing down, “Why did that warrant meeting me like this? You could have just texted me.”

It was growing tense as Jungkook swallowed and looked down at the table. The short answer was that he was trying to make RaeAri jealous, but that wasn’t going to make Soomin any happier. “There’s more, of course. I called you here to tell you why I want you to leave me alone.”

Soomin’s frown didn’t shift as she just watched Jungkook with an almost pouty face. He couldn’t believe that RaeAri could actually put up with such an… annoying and bitchy girl. He also couldn’t believe that he slept with this girl.

“I also came to apologize.”

The words felt wrong coming out of his mouth as he suppressed the cringe he felt trying to break through.

Soomin��s eyebrows raised and her mood shifted as Jungkook sighed. He wanted more than anything to just rush out of the diner without saying anything more, but RaeAri’s words kept him here. He wanted to do this for her. He had to do this for her.

“I’m sorry for what I did to you,” he didn’t truly feel sorry, but it was the thought that counts, right? “You may have done a scummy thing to me, but I’m sorry for doing something as equally scummy to you.”

Soomin’s face was soft and her eyes were smiling. Jungkook couldn’t help but see RaeAri’s smile when looking at Soomin. He’d kill to see that smile on her again… He was sick of being so mad at her…

“Wow,” she spoke with shock in her tone as Jungkook looked down at the table, “I wasn’t expecting that. I’m impressed…”

“I’m not trying to impress you,” Jungkook clarified as Soomin just rolled her eyes at him.

“Look, I’m into you, but I’m not stupid,” she crossed her arms and leaned them on the table, “Tell me what you’re here for. It’s kinda hard to get over a guy if I spend too much time with him.”

“Trust me, I’ll make this short,” Jungkook reassured with a nod as he swallowed and looked down at the table. He was about to open his mouth to try and start with his second point, but he was cut off when a waitress walked up to the two of them to take their drink orders.

They were quick to order drinks and clarify that they were only here for a short time. The waitress nodded and walked off with their orders, bringing their drinks only moments later.

“Anyway, go on,” Soomin gestured before taking a sip of her Coke.

Jungkook took a deep breath as he racked his brain for the right words. He should just be straight to the point, no matter how surprised or hurt she may seem.

“I’m in love with Ari,” Jungkook opted for the shortest possible way to break the news as Soomin looked like she was about to spit her soda out of her mouth. She looked completely flabbergasted at the reveal as she struggled to swallow her drink.

“I’m sorry?” She was almost rude with her tone which made Jungkook’s eyebrows raise.

“You heard me,” he narrowed his eyes at just how surprised she seemed.

“Like, don’t get me wrong, Ari’s my friend, but really?” she laughed, causing Jungkook’s blood to boil.

“Yes, really,” his voice was getting strained as he was getting increasingly upset. This girl was RaeAri’s “friend”? He was finding it harder and harder to believe.

“She has no sex appeal. How could she get a player type like you to fall for her?” Soomin asked, her smile dying down to become a serious expression, “Like I’m sorry, but she’s never even had a boyfriend.”

“That means nothing to me,” Jungkook shook his head, “I didn’t fall for her because of her experience.”

“Clearly.”

Jungkook looked up at the ceiling as he felt his anger getting the best of him. He was calmly explaining why he was rejecting her and yet she’s over here pissing him off with these comments. If RaeAri were to hear these coming out of Soomin’s mouth, she would be so… hurt. He couldn’t bare for her to get hurt again after what he’s done to her.

“Okay, listen here, Soomin,” Jungkook spat as Soomin’s eyes were quick to widen, “Ari treated me like shit for the first couple weeks because of what I did to you in high school. I had to endure all her insults that were fueled by what happened with the two of us, and I couldn’t say one goddamn word to her. It killed me to know how much she hated me because of you, but despite all of that, I still apologized to you. You have no right to be a bitch toward your friend who held a grudge against me for you.”

“I didn’t ask her to do that,” Soomin was quick to defend as her voice shifted to concern and guilt, “I had no ill feelings towards you for that. I always wanted to apologize to you for ruining what we could have had.”

“What we could have had?” Jungkook laughed with disbelief, “Do you have such a big head to think I wanted anything with you? I slept with you because that’s who I was in high school. I don’t do that shit to girls anymore. I didn’t sleep with Ari because I just wanted a release, I did it because I fucking love her, got it?”

Soomin was rendered speechless for several seconds as she just stared at Jungkook with wide eyes. He thought that she might keep her big mouth shut for longer than just a couple seconds, but she was quick to break his hopes.

“You and Ari slept together?”

...Whoops…

Jungkook felt panic rise in his chest for letting his anger tell too much truth to Soomin. He let Soomin know before Taehyung even found out… That detail wasn’t supposed to be revealed…

“Yeah,” Jungkook looked down, trying to sound like he was still mad and not petrified over the fact that Soomin now knows too much, “We are together.”

He wasn’t sure if he was making anything better.

“You weren’t when you two were yelling at each other like a week ago,” Soomin observed as Jungkook sighed and looked down.

“We got together just a couple days ago,” he spoke as Soomin looked up in disbelief. Her friend RaeAri made Jungkook fall for her? Jeon Jungkook? It just didn’t make any sense.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you. If Taehyung tells me it’s true, I’ll believe you,” Soomin shakes her head and started to pull out her phone. Jungkook’s panic rose as he felt worry build up in his chest. He has royally screwed up now.

“No, no,” Jungkook shook his head, “No. Taehyung doesn’t know. We haven’t told him yet.”

Soomin looked up at Jungkook as she sighed and shook her head, “Sounds too convenient for you.”

“Why don’t you ask Ari?” he tried to derail her as she seemed to be typing a text out, “She’ll confirm it with you.”

Soomin glanced up at Jungkook and shook her head, “Okay, fine. I won’t text anyone about this. I may be a bitch, but Ari is still my friend. If your story is true, I wouldn’t want to be the bearer of bad news. I’ll let you deal with that train wreck yourself.”

She put her phone down as Jungkook sighed, “I don’t know what you think I have to gain from lying about something like this. I love Ari, and she loves me.”

They intently stared each other down for several seconds as Jungkook felt his nerves calm down. He felt his stress levels nearly double because of Soomin’s threat of texting Taehyung.

“You’re right,” she nodded, “I just can’t… believe it. Ari’s the kind of girl who I thought would find her a timid guy. I always saw her with someone like that Yoongi guy she’s friends with. I could even see her with that Hoseok guy you were friends with.”

Jungkook had to keep his jealousy in check over Soomin’s words. She just had to bring that guy into it! He was sick of hearing his name! And he was certainly sick of hearing everyone talk about how much of a great match RaeAri and Hoseok would be. RaeAri is his. She belongs to him, and him alone.

“Well she’s got me instead,” Jungkook tried to not be too snappy with his words, but he failed. “And I’m sick of hearing about how much she would match up with other guys. She doesn’t need anyone else.”

Soomin looked down into her nearly empty cup as a small laugh left her mouth.

“You might not be my first choice for her,” Soomin said in thought as she started to drum her fingers on the table, “But I’m sure you two could figure something out.”

::

Once I stepped back into the theater, I stared Jungkook’s contact down really hard. I had no idea what to say to him or what he wanted to say to me…

As I pressed the call button, I felt my nerves spike. I wasn’t completely ready to talk to Jungkook because I was shaken up, but I didn’t have much time to think before I heard the phone being answered.

“Where are you?” Jungkook opened up the phone call with that question as I raised my eyebrows.

“What do you mean? You know I’m at work,” I spoke with a confused voice. I walked toward the back room and opened the door, hoping to get some privacy for our conversation. I stepped into the back and turned to move towards the table we have near the computer, but I froze when my eyes met the eyes of the man I was speaking to.

“Jungkook?” I couldn’t believe that he was really there. I could hardly believe that he was talking to me on the phone, but now he just shows up to work like this? I wasn’t sure whether to be nervous or happy, so I just ended up being a mixture of both.

“Where the hell were you?” He asked, his voice shaking slightly, “I looked in every theater and even went to the fast food buildings across the parking lot.”

“Jungkook,” I spoke in a calm voice as he seemed to try to calm himself down. “I think the person who really needs to do the explaining is you. I want to know where you went and why you met up with Soomin.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened in surprise and almost guilt as I continued looking at him. He didn’t seem to know what to say, but that didn’t surprise me.

“H-he told you?” he sounded worried as I just nodded.

“Of course he did. Did you really think that Taehyung wouldn’t tell me?” I asked, taking a step closer to him. I didn’t like how… distant we felt in this moment. It was causing my heart to squeeze in pain.

“L-Look, Ari,” Jungkook seemed to grow increasingly nervous as I took another step closer to him, “Nothing happened, really. I just met with her because she’s been pissing me off with constant messages about wanting to meet up. I simply wanted to tell her to shove off.”

I felt a sigh release as I realized I was holding my breath. A soft smile appeared on my face despite how much he deserved a slap for the drama he caused this morning.

“You were just making me so mad this morning that I tried to make you jealous in return… I just-” He stopped himself as I once more took another step closer to him, “I know I did it for selfish reasons, and I’m sorry. I’m so Goddamn sorry.”

I couldn’t hold back my emotions anymore as I jumped forward, wrapping my arms around his torso and pulling his body against mine. I hadn’t hugged him in what felt like forever, and I didn’t realize how much I had missed it until this moment.

My heart jumped as Jungkook was quick to return the hug. I swallowed and took a deep breath to breathe in his scent, and I heard Jungkook chuckle in his throat over it.

“I love you,” Jungkook whispered as I hugged him even tighter to me. “I can’t stay mad at you and I certainly don’t want you to be mad at me. I’m such an idiot, really.”

I nodded into his chest in agreement, “You definitely are an idiot. But you’re my idiot, got it?”

Jungkook nodded into my hair as I felt him place a kiss on my ear. I shivered at the contact as he snickered in my ear.

“I love you, too,” I smiled before slightly pulling away from the hug. My eyes locked onto his and Jungkook was quick to break that contact. His eyes closed as he leaned in to me and pressed a firm kiss on my lips. My heartbeat increased as I felt his lips moving against mine, and I couldn’t help but sigh. I leaned into him further to add a little more pressure to the kiss before I briefly pulled away to look into his eyes.

“I want to tell Taehyung about us.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows raised in surprise, “Where did this sudden change in attitude come from?”

I just shrugged and smiled, not daring to mention Hoseok after all of this. Jungkook looked to be in such a good mood, and I wasn’t about to ruin that.

“I talked with him this morning and I just feel like he’ll be more understanding than I thought,” I spoke with a soft voice, “He won’t take you away from me if he sees how in love with you I am.”

Instead of responding with words, Jungkook desperately gripped at my work shirt and pressed his lips to mine. This kiss was more forceful and a little too passionate for us to be doing at work. I put a hand on his cheek and pulled away from his lips, only to meet with his dark eyes.

“I should probably clock back in, Jungkook,” I spoke as he sighed in disappointment. He moved his arms from around me as I moved to clock in at the computer. I felt Jungkook’s eyes stay on me the whole time as I successfully clocked back in.

“I’m really going to try to stop being such an ass,” Jungkook spoke as I turned around. He looked serious which made my heart skip a beat. “Hoseok’s a good guy and he doesn’t deserve to be treated the way I wanted you to treat him. I know that I should trust you if we’re going to be together.”

I smiled and nodded, walking to stand in front of him again. “If you’re going to trust me, then I want you to stay calm when I tell you what I’m about to.”

Jungkook swallowed, looking fairly nervous as I smiled softly, “Alright. Go ahead.”

I took a deep breath, grabbing Jungkook’s hands to keep my nerves steady. I hadn’t planned to tell him the truth, but I felt like I needed to.

“I was just with Hoseok before you called me.”

I paused to get a feel for Jungkook’s reaction. He certainly was unhappy hearing my confession, but he didn’t tense up or tighten his grip on my hands. He was doing good at keeping calm so far.

“I told him everything about you and I. I also told him to not say a thing to Taehyung, so we don’t have to worry about that.”

I couldn’t help but notice Jungkook’s slight grimace when I said my last words, but I didn’t let it phase me. “He didn’t just sit there and listen to me, though. He started telling me that we need to trust Taehyung to handle this situation. If he sees how happy we make each other, I’m sure he’ll be happy for us.”

I felt nerves build up in my gut as Jungkook just continued to look at me with an unchanging expression. He didn’t yell at me or get upset over me meeting up with Hoseok. He just stood there and looked at me.

“Jungkook-”

I got cut off by Jungkook’s arms suddenly pulling me against him, holding me to him in a firm manner. His eyes were intense as I stared at him with a shocked expression, waiting for him to say or do anything. I noticed him swallow as his eyes stared intently into mine.

Our gaze didn’t break as his hands grabbed my shirt and his arms pressed me tighter to him.

“I love you so much,” Jungkook spoke as he paused to swallow again, “I can hardly believe how hard I’ve fallen for you over these past three weeks.”

I felt my cheeks flush as I didn’t shy away from his eyes. I let a soft smile appear on my face, but his serious expression didn’t crack. “I love you, too, Kook. It’s amazing how you can go from hating someone’s guts to loving the hell out of them in such a short amount of time.”

His gaze finally broke from mine as Jungkook pressed his lips against mine firmly. He let a sigh out of his nose as I allowed my eyes to slide closed. I felt my hands reach up and grab the collar of his shirt, pulling it down to add more pressure to our lips. I could feel Jungkook growing more and more eager as I tried my hardest not to smirk.

“You know we’re still kinda in public,” I whispered as Jungkook let a breath out his nose. He tried to lean in to kiss me again, but I dodged it, “And we’re at work.”

“Find a closet and we’ll be fine,” Jungkook whispered as I felt my eyes widen.

“Kook, I just clocked back in,” I frowned, but he wasn’t giving up.

“It won’t take long, babe…” the nickname rolled off his tongue as I swallowed. I took a deep breath and shook my head, trying to stick to my logic and reasoning side.

“Jungkook, no,” I refused, but he wasn’t done. He bit his lip and looked around to double check that no one was in the back. He pulled me out of sight of the security cameras before sliding his hand down and brushing his fingers against the crotch of my pants. I took in a sharp breath at his boldness, trying to stick to my gut. We would get in so much trouble if we got caught.

“K-Kook,” I called, but he just persisted, adding more pressure to his strokes, “This isn’t funny, Jungkook.”

“I’m not trying to be funny,” he whispered into my ear as shivers ran all throughout my body, “I’m trying to get you to give in to what you know you really want.”

I closed my eyes and shook my head, “No, Jungkook, I’m no-uhhn, not gonn-aaa…”

I bit my lip before taking several deep breaths. I dared to open my eyes as I met with Jungkook’s hungry and eager ones.

“F-fine,” I whispered, “O-Okay! I know where we can go, j-just stop before someone sees us.”

A smirk appeared on Jungkook’s face as he watched me move away from him and grab his wrist. I couldn’t believe that we were about to do it in public yet again…

“It’s nice to know that you like to live on the wild side,” Jungkook mumbled to me as I quickly pulled him forward, hoping to God that no one was watching us rush through the lobby.

“Shut up or I’ll go back to work,” I threatened, which seemed to work. He didn’t say another word as we walked up to the closet that I had been thinking of the very second that Jungkook started suggesting anything.

We stepped inside after I unlocked the door, and the second I had the door closed and locked behind us, Jungkook pinned me up against the door.

“I’ve been craving you for what feels like eons,” he huffed before nibbling on my ear, “How do you do things like this to me?”

I just shrugged in response as I moved my fingers to bury them into his hair. He pulled away from my ear and leaned in to place a soft yet hungry kiss on my lips. I accepted his kiss as I tilted my head to give him a better angle. I tugged at his locks as a growl erupted in his throat. I felt heat building up between the two of us as Jungkook’s teeth nibbled at my bottom lip.

I found myself growing hungry for him, which seemed to be his goal considering how persuasive he was about doing it at work...

“Did you bring a condom?” I asked against his lips as the rational side of my brain tried to break through to remind me that it’s important to be safe.

Jungkook froze in place as he pulled away, the look on his face saying it all. He took a deep breath and cursed under his breath before moving slightly away from me.

“I-I think I have one in my car,” he ran a hand through his hair as I sighed and frowned.

“How the hell did you happen to have a condom with you on the roof, yet you don’t have one now?” I raised an eyebrow as Jungkook winced.

“Just give me a minute! I’ll run to my car and be back in no time! Stay right here!” Jungkook unlocked the door and flew out before I could formulate a response. I should be mad at Jungkook for all of this, but I found myself smiling and giggling at the thought of him.

I couldn’t wait to go completely public with our relationship. Not having to hide it from Taehyung is going to feel so freeing…

I continued smiling as I leaned against the wall, eagerly waiting for Jungkook to come back to the closet.

…

I felt worry build up in my chest as it finally hit the ten minute mark. It should have taken him no longer than five minutes to run to his car and come back, especially at the speed he was running out of here…

I couldn’t bare waiting any longer as I sighed and left the closet, feeling a frown on my face. Jungkook didn’t ditch me, surely, so where was he? And couldn’t he at least call me if he didn’t have a condom in his car? He wouldn’t just leave without letting me know…

I felt worry build up as I found myself hurrying back to the lobby. My pace continued to quicken the longer it took for me to get through all the hallways. As I turned the corner and scanned the lobby, I didn’t see any point of interest. The most interesting thing I saw was a kid that was playing with the queue line ropes.

Worry continued to grow inside me as I made my way to the back room. Where the hell was he? I poked my head into the room, but once more, he wasn’t there.

I pulled out my phone so that I could give him a quick call. Surely he didn’t just take off without telling me… How embarrassing would it have been if I had stayed there and waited for him to come back, only for him to never show back up?

I pressed the call button, waiting through several rings as I hoped and prayed that Jungkook would answer.

To my relief, he did answer the call.

“A-Ari,” his voice was unstable as I felt my worry double very quickly, “I’m sorry! I-uh… I just got a call from Taehyung and he sounded pissed… I’m worried that…”

I felt my stomach drop at his next words.

“...I think that Taehyung knows about us.”

My brain went into full panic mode as I stayed silent. Jungkook didn’t dare say anything on the other end of the line, and I felt myself getting sick. Hoseok was the only person who knew… why would he tell Taehyung? After the rational and sweet conversation we had, it pissed me off that he would say anything.

“What makes you think that he knows?” I felt my shaky hands run up and down my arm as I tightened the grip on my phone, “What did he say?”

Jungkook just stayed eerily silent as I felt like pulling my hair from its roots to deal with the stress.

“He just angrily told me to get home as fast as possible or he’d hunt me down and kick my ass,” he answered as I bit my lip harsher than intended. That was for sure going to well…

“B-But why…” I whispered as I found myself hurrying to the back room, “Why would Hoseok go and tell Taehyung like that?”

Jungkook’s end was silent for a suspiciously long time as I felt paranoia build up in my chest. Why was he being so quiet? Did he know something that I don’t?

“I-I don’t know,” Jungkook mumbled out a response, and I was barely able to hear him. “Maybe he’s two-faced?”

I shook my head, but the motion was for my own benefit since Jungkook couldn’t see me, “I don’t believe it. That man has been so consistently nice and patient with me that I’d find it hard to be any act.”

Once more, Jungkook’s end was silent. I bit down on my lip hard enough to draw blood as I tried to swallow all my nerves. “Okay Jungkook, are you hiding something from me?”

He continued on with the silence for several more seconds as I tried my hardest to stop biting my lip before it actually started to bleed. He was making me a nervous wreck! “Jungkook!”

“I’m sorry, Ari!” He cried from the other end as I felt my heart shattering. His voice sounded so nervous and broken, “I’m sorry… I’m a huge idiot. I told Soomin about us.”

My expressions shifted the second he said what he did, “You told Soomin?! What the hell, Kook!?”

“She was pissing me off!” he tried to defend as I took a deep breath. He continued to string out defenses, but that was when Chaeyoung and Jimin walked to the back to clock in again. I tuned Jungkook out as I spoke over him.

“I have to go back to work. Bye.”

I hung up the phone with my shaky hands as I saw Chaeyoung’s look of concern. She and Jimin finished clocking back in as she walked up to me with worry etched in her features.

“Ari, is everything okay?”

::

A/N: Okay so I was originally going to have a really rude cliffhanger, but I decided to post the last part of the scene. I just felt dirty cutting off the scene like I originally planned! So if you think this cliffhanger is bad, be thankful that I didn’t stick with the original one!

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

[milatherese]

Update No. 5 (*cue Mambo No. 5*) – 90 Days, School, Discernment (just a lil bit)

Note #1: This update is long. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Note #2: If you don’t know Mambo No. 5, you need to listen to it (even though the lyrics may be morally wrong, it is quite catchy).

“How was the 90 day journey of a tiny bit of asceticism?” you ask. (nobody cares but I’m pretending you do haha)

That’s a question I still ask myself several days later. 90 days is a lot to process. Therefore, I have included my short answer to this question here: – It was a bit hard in the beginning but got easier as the days went by – I especially enjoyed the no social media / limited communication – I hated cold showers, actually gave it up by the end of the first month or so because it did more harm than good (imo)

The beginning was a little rough, but about as good as sacrifice gets. (you can read my thoughts on that here, here, and here) About a month in, I couldn’t cope, at least physically. I ended up just doing what I felt I was strong enough to do.

January was a little rough. Ever since school started, I had headaches every day (including non-school days). (If you’re wondering why I never shared this with you and why I hid my pain, it was because I didn’t want you to worry.)

At first the headaches were tolerable. I could get through a 12-hour day with minimal pain. They got increasingly worse. I began taking Tylenol according to the recommended dosage (1-2 tablets every 4-6 hours). I didn’t take Tylenol every other day (I try to avoid medicine, if possible) but I eventually “graduated” to taking the extra strength Tylenol, also according to the recommended dosage. Eventually, the headaches began to impact my studying. I had limited time to study (I had to time my studying during the lesser painful waves of my headaches). I was so worried for one class that I spent all my time studying for that one class during lecture of another difficult class (I figured I could bring up my grade in the second class later). Despite my high of level of unpreparedness, I was looking forward to taking the exams for both classes. I thought my headaches were the result of stressing over those two classes. Unfortunately, taking the exams for those classes didn’t end the headaches. In fact, they may have increased the pain.

My headaches soon became unbearable. I couldn’t hide the pain any longer. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t eat out of fear that I would only make the pain worse. I was in tears from the pain. Massaging my head and using an ice pack didn’t reduce the pain. I wanted to rip my head off to get rid of the pain once and for all.

At this time, I decided it was time to begin thinking about seeing the doctor about this. (Yes, I should have already gone to the doctor but my pain isn’t really a concern to me.) I decided that I would go to the doctor if the headaches persist for another week.

The pain was at its absolute worst one Saturday. I had to call in sick for work (we had an event – which I was really looking forward to, btw). I spent the day crying from the pain (at this point, my body wasn’t really responding to Tylenol). Finally, the physical pain began to affect my mental health. I was trying to figure out the root cause of the pain. I began questioning all my decisions – transferring high schools, transferring universities, not applying to a certain community, leaving relationships, etc. I was wondering if this was some sort of a punishment for making the “wrong” decision (which I later learned is no such thing, more on this another day). I felt so lost and alone. I was wondering if this was a taste of what Mother St. Teresa described as a “long dark night.” (I referenced this before in my last update but I just can’t get her long dark night out of my head.) I eventually cried myself to sleep and slept the rest of the day until 2am the next day.

When I woke, I noticed the pain had disappeared and, with it, the emotional rollercoaster I was going through earlier. I was able to get some rest from the physical and emotional pain and my mind was finally functioning as it normally would – quiet and able to think logically. It was clear that my pain was not for torment but for me to focus on something more important than the pain itself. I decided to pray the Rosary for it had been several weeks since I had been able to pray the Rosary without distractions (I would either fall asleep or be distracted by the headache or my studies). I prayed God would help me discern what He wanted me to tend to. I felt that I should prayerfully consider my career path now that I was away from outside influences.

I began reflecting on my semester thus far. There was one day that my mom visited campus and overheard some girls complimenting and encouraging each other. She told me, “I want you to be in whatever major they’re in. They seem happy. You don’t.” At the time, I was too stubborn to see that my happiness was just a mask I put on to “be strong.” I remembered writing pre-labs and post-labs but barely understanding the material, only understanding the grammar necessary to produce acceptable scholarly work. I recalled being so stressed that I was rude to the whole world (except for work) to the point that my mom exclaimed, “Who are you? You’re not human anymore!”  She was right – I wasn’t myself.  That woke me up. I thought, “What good is my major if it only brings out the worst in me?” In prayer, felt called to pursue another career instead of MD/DO. I still don’t know what career exactly, but I’m trusting that my time studying and preparing for MD/DO will help me in my calling.

That Sunday, I informed my parents and one trusted relative of my decision to change majors and they were overjoyed. (My uncle seemed to have already known in the beginning that I would leave the MD/DO path, but wanted me to come to that decision myself.)

So, I changed majors back to Allied Health, B.S.

I met with my academic advisor (not the one who screwed me over, for any of those who know the story) and we came up with a school plan. Estimated graduation date was Fall 2021.

I dealt with this change as best I could and things were on the up and up…until it wasn’t.

Early February, I learned that a close priest friend had passed away, just 3 days shy of his birthday. I had been looking forward to his birthday (not that I would be with celebrating with him, just happy he would be celebrating another year) so hearing the news was devastating. He was like an uncle to me. To quote what I said at a memorial, he was “a great friend, a big brother, a father figure, a very holy man, a man for others.” (There’s so much I can say on him but I’ll leave that for another post) The first day, I seemed okay. Minimal feelings of sadness. It hadn’t hit me yet. It hit me the very next day. And it hit hard and long. I was crying everywhere I went whenever I was away from family and friends. Some days were harder than others (my supervisor sent me home early to give me time to grieve). I was going through so many emotions. I was frustrated that I was taking so long to grieve (I later learned that grief has no time limit) and annoyed that I did not feel comfortable talking to my family or friends about it. I had faced loss before (when Bro. Morgan passed away), but never anything as devastating as this. I did not know how to cope with grief. I struggled to stay focused during class (actually broke down in tears at least during one class each day) and to finish my work (skipped out on a staff meeting due to waterworks). I cancelled a couple meetings and called in sick to group therapy twice. I distanced myself from the world and those who love[d] me. Unfortunately, all this affected my studies once again. Despite my lighter load, I could not concentrate. I did not think of sharing all this with my professors as I felt like they wouldn’t understand (or maybe I was just being stubborn again?)

It came time for RECongress and I held it together (somewhat…more on that on another post). It was that Friday that I was able to study without getting distracted by grief. I had an exam the following Monday. But one day of studying 3+ weeks of material was not enough to pass the exam. So there went that.

February went by with each day bleeding into the next. Each day was a blur until one blessed night.

My brother had arrived home late from school one day and as he was pulling into our driveway (why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways) a beautiful dog approached him. I won’t go into details but the dog is now ours and has been the biggest blessing this semester, especially in helping our family cope with grief. We believe (as do others) that Father Suarez sent her to us.

Come March and April, things were finally on the up and up again. I was studying every day and keeping up with work. But then quarantine hit and things went downhill yet again. I did become more active on this blog since March 16th but inside I was deteriorating. However, it wasn’t as detrimental as January and February. Let’s just say that I learned the house is not conducive to studying, I may need a new prescription for glasses, and we need to find better internet (or move to a place with better cell signal). I failed a final due to failed internet connection (thanks be to God I got another shot at it). I took my two other finals in the car in the parking lot in front of Starbucks.

Quarantine has been the best and the worst for me. I realized that spiritually, I was thirsty. Thirsty for God. I live-streamed Mass and adoration daily and at odd hours, even doing homework and studying “with God.” The more things I had to do, the more I felt the need to “hang” with God (which, in retrospect, may have been a bad decision because I ended up procrastinating and losing a lot of sleep). I learned to value receiving the sacraments in-person now. I’m more aware of when I sin or am near sin. It has also reignited the flame of faith. I’ve been doing a lot more spiritual reading, especially now that APU semester is over (still have one class at a JC).

Despite this, discernment got a bit murky. I began questioning my vocation and doing a lot more “reality checks” (and a lot more second-guessing). Frankly, I don’t think I would survive living in a community of all women since all my close friends are men. (Or is that an excuse I am making for myself?) I don’t think I would make a great mother either so perhaps I’m meant to be single? (Or am I just a harsh critic of myself and I would actually be a great mother?) I had not really spoken to my spiritual director in months (transportation and schedule issues, both on my part).

A priest I met at RECongress learned I was discerning religious life (if you didn’t know this, I hope this isn’t a surprise) and asked me to email him as soon as possible in case I need guidance. I didn’t email him until April 1st so that may have contributed to my overthinking. He replied a couple weeks later (and I replied a couple days after that and am still awaiting a response). I asked God for “another sign, for some clarity” and He gave me another. However, everything still looks murky to me. I feel both consolation and desolation at the same time. I might be facing another identity crisis like last semester. Aye.

Ok this is way longer than I had planned so I’m just gonna stop right here.

If you read this far, thank you for reading. If you relate to anything I shared, I hope you know that you’re not alone and that if you ever need anything (even if it’s just a listening ear), I’ll do my best to help. Just ask. (And if you need something but I haven’t replied in a long time, just reach out again. I forget to reply to messages quite often.)

[dyingunknown-blog]

BEGINNINGS + GENDER

As said in the introduction: this is a selfish blog where I rant about myself and my feelings. Here goes my first ramble. Within this ramble contains bits of: gender, femininity,  sexuality and eating disorders. Y’know, the usual mix of edgy Tumblr content. I am posting this in celebration of Pride Month (!!! YAY!!! I HONESTLY LOVE PRIDE MONTH) but also because I’ve had this build up in my heart for too long. 

A NOTE BEFORE I BEGIN...

I know you (reader) cannot hear me doing this, so imagine me (author) taking a deep breath, filling my semi spacious lungs, and releasing all that pent up air with a heavy sigh. 

Here we fucking go. Here’s to tip of the iceberg, from 4 years of pent up gay shit to recent moments of gentle gender dysmorphia. Do not expect my writing to be fully coherent, nor written in the best grammar. I am writing for my own therapeutic needs, because I gotta get some of this energy released and I have nowhere else to dump this. This piece is a full on rant, as in I literally wrote this angrily tapping away at 2-4 am. However, I’d like to mention that I mean no offence to any parties, and simply want to vent out some of the deep thoughts I’ve been pacing around for the past few years. Feel free to send me a message regarding your personal feelings, or to just chat. I’m always here as a friend and listener <3 

WHERE IT ALL BEGAN...

I think I owe myself and you (reader) an explanation on where things began to really start. The main “spark” that got me going and prompted me to start this blog was when I found myself unable to stop playing songs by Dorian Electra. Actually-- to be honest-- it was the music videos that really got me going. The glorious explosion of just “QUEER” screaming and banging its head at my 13 inch Mac Book Pro got me extremely inspired to actually do something about the gross reactions of confusion that were occurring in my brain and body. As Dorian Electra put it, “You know I’m not straight, but I’m gonna give it straight to you.” So here’s my best shot at “giving it straight.” 

By the way... I’m from a fairly traditional family with high hopes for me, so the most freedom I can really grasp onto is starting an anonymous Tumblr blog at 2 am laying naked with just my underwear on. 

PERSONAL TOPIC 1: GENDER...

So here’s the thing, I stick to my biological birth gender like it’s my lifeline-- my comfort zone-- I guess, if anything. I personally feel like gender and sexuality have their own little symbiotic (or perhaps parasitic???) relationship, where one’s gender impacts their sexuality-- but I can also accept that my understanding is probably not politically correct. I can say, however, with a heavy heart: 

I am utterly fucked when I think about my gender and sexuality. 

I’ll take it easy first and rope down my feelings towards my gender and its definition. I jokingly scream in the halls that gender is a social construct, but let’s be honest-- is it not?  Other than our dongle-longs and hoochie-has, what makes a woman different from a man? I mean maybe it is just the sausage and the grapefruit, but I’d like to argue that... Just kidding, the more I think about it the more I fall into a rabbit hole where I can’t figure out what a male is and what a female is. I mean what are they? Is it based off of the definition I provide for myself, or what society conveniently slams into my face? Is the LGBTQ+ community the people who get to decide or is it the Westboro Baptist Church??? 

Note: these are not a rhetorical question, please answer this to your opinion because I’m in desperate need of some kind of direction beyond biology. I accept all ideologies and concepts. I’m just hella confused. 

Ehem.

Anyways, my own battle with gender goes beyond not knowing where the “line” is, or if it even exists (again, I’m still not sure if this is a personal question or something based on society...) It also goes into where I stand on this polarised scale. See-- I have a bean, a hole, and melons. Alas, in slightly more proper terms, I have a clitoris, vagina and breasts. So what does that mean for me? Am I automatically a woman? For the first 17 years of my life, I would respond to that question with a VERY confident nod. Pink was once my favourite colour, I like boys, dresses, cute animals and romcoms. My physical body only went to assure what I already knew. Now? I’m not so sure. As it is more acceptable nowadays to be “queer,” I’ve slid into the an identity crisis where I realise I’ve never revelled in the fact that I had tiddies, nor felt comfortable about having a coochie. I used to blame my confusion regarding my comfort in my biological gender on the growing queer influences in my life-- after all, everyone wants to be special and sometimes being apart of the LGBTQ+ community is the best way to stand out, especially when it’s being shoved in your face with media. Everyone who comes out of the closet is faced with incredible amounts of love and attention, and my younger self thought “maybe I should get on the boat” hence, labelling myself as bisexual for the longest time without truly feeling like I am (until in recent years.)  I blamed my confusion in identity and sexuality on the attention whore who lived inside of my heart. My feelings were only justified as true this year, when I found myself staring at myself in the mirror and couldn’t help but to feel unhappy with what I presented myself with. Undies clad with a slightly cropped black muscle tank, I could see the linings of a “V” line on my lower abdomen and felt kinda hot about it. I did the annoying fuckboy pose (you know, the one where the guy is biting his shirt to reveal his oh-so-humble six pack) and found it... kinda fun? I did have a 36D underboob flail around, but my focus was more on my bottom half, with my Victoria Secret blue lace underwear and masculine illusion.  It wasn’t like a grand glorious moment, nor was it like I was the tomboy of the house and everyone just “knew” and I only had to convince myself. Instead, it was an anti-climatic moment where I realised “fuck, I have another problem on my hands that I can’t ignore anymore.” 

I don’t know if I truly identify as female or male. Honestly, I don’t really think I need to identify myself, but that’s the 30% of my consciousness who is super queer, chill and cool. See, the other 70% of my mind is going in a frenzy screaming, because I just lost one of my key defining attributes. Think that episode of Spongebob, where Spongebob’s brain cells are screaming and throwing papers around the office setting of his brain.

Another question has also become increasingly relevant in my journey of finding my “true inner zen self.” 

Who am I choosing my gender for?

In 2018, and most of the years before, I adored being loved by boys and having guys waggle their dicks like dog tails for my tits and ass, but in 2019, I randomly figured out that I never liked my boobs for anything but that. I mean having an hourglass figure was always (and still is) a goal of mine, but I question for what reason. I’d like to say it’s for personal aesthetic appeal, but it wouldn’t be surprising to me if I just do it so people will like me more. In fact, I battled with bulimia for the very reason of: I don’t know what the fuck I want or like, but  the crowd likes “skinny thick” girls so lets do that by purging. Am I currently wearing a waist trainer and corset on top of each other because I like the outcome, or because the people around me like me more for it? I’m trying really hard not to segue into the alluring topic of toxic femininity, because I can rant for HOURS AND PAGES about that, so I’ll just say: I don’t know if I’m being a girl for myself or because I’ll be more liked for it. 

In all honesty, the truth regarding my gender became clearer the more I self conscious I became. In 2018, I fell into the trap of sending boys nudes (apologies for the TMI and sorry family if you somehow came across my blog and are currently reading this.)  I liked it for a millisecond. Why? Because it felt good to have someone desperate for me. That millisecond died off real fast. My own thoughts pooped my nude Alpha Female party with insecurity and fear of how my body compares to other girls my age. Three days after the first nude I sent I realised I hate my body. I felt empowered in the moment (honestly I do love the feeling of tease. I still do send ohohoho raunchy pics for the pure euphoria of just having someone crave me) but overall just left the experience with lingering guilt and self hatred. I wasn’t sure if I was doing this to please myself or others. I also abhor taking nudes, because I do not think I embody femininity and dislike my body for that very reason. Identifying as male makes me far more comfortable than as identifying as a female. I might have tits, I might have soft facial features, but I just don’t like how I mentally feel like I can’t compare to the unrealistic standard of femininity that women uphold. I spent my whole life trying to  tick the boxes under “female,” but always felt like I was just doing the bare minimum... Hence my past is full of desperation, the need to show skin for the sake of proving I’m “sexy” and being perfectly fine with getting mislabeled as a slut at school. Nowadays, I show skin because I’m comfortable and am learning to love my body. I am not okay with slut shaming in general, but I am most definitely not okay with being called a slut either because I’m still a fucking virgin. So hun, I really do wish I could call myself a slut and have that much game, but I’m very far from that.

Anyways, uh more on my gender crisis:  I’ve also always adored mens fashion and absolutely revel the aura of being the “alpha.” Ever since my middle school days, I’d secretly snoop around and envy the men’s section of Barney’s and Saks, because it just looks so damn cool. Excuse my lack of “high quality language,” I can hear my English teacher sighing about my lack of “professional” or “appropriate” language, but I really can’t express my feelings regarding mens fashion other than it’s fucking cool. I must say though, my style of clothing and expression of self doesn’t stop itself at mens fashion. In fact, I enjoy dressing to exhort a more dominant presence, whether it’s with a short denim skirt and tight crop top or a loose fitting silk blouse and skinny jeans with a belt. So I guess in a way, my fashion and what I feel comfortable in explains my gender for me. A little bit of both and a little bit of neither. Although the next step would definitely be playing around with my hair and piercing, but I think my traditional family would whoop my ass to the moon if I do it now, and I can’t say I’m not scared of regrets. I just want to discover myself a little more this year...

Regardless, I just wanna further clarify that I don’t feel comfortable being put as female, male or hell-- even androgynous.

And I gotta say, after holding this in and denying it for 4 years, it feels damn good to type it out and admit it.

 In deciding to be a “gender”, there are standards. Deciding to be anything comes with the price of standards. I just can’t personally handle not being able to fit into the standards there are for them... Especially now since people are so bothered on being politically correct, so if I’m “not being properly androgynous” or “not properly female,” I’ll get shit on, and if I’m not accepted by the mass majority, I’ll feel societal hate mixed with self hatred. 

I also want to say that sometimes I don’t feel like I have the right to be confused or declare a gender because I’ve been on the judgemental side before. 

In middle school one of my close friends moved away, and soon later began to label themselves as gender fluid. It was such a new concept that I initially thought that they were doing it as a publicity stunt, but slowly realised that it is indeed who they are. I wasn’t hateful, but I can’t say I’m innocent, even if it was when I was far younger and less understanding. I remember when they first started using their current pronouns, I was confused on how to utilise them and initially disregarded them. Today, I regret my ignorance. Misgendering can always be a mistake, but it can also be extremely spoiled, belittling and condescending. So even though I know someone that probably went through a similar journey as I am today, I feel guilty asking them about it because of the shit I gave them when I was 14.

 Additionally, I’m scared of being wrong about myself. I can’t describe it too well, but I’m just scared that I’ll slip up a wrong opinion and then be automatically thrown into the can of “special snowflake wannabe LGBTQ+” when in reality: I truly feel like I’m not of “cisgender” or anything normal. I don’t want to dip too deep into my history with crippling anxiety and experiences with depression, but I will say that I can’t help but to hate myself for being queer too.. Alas, I’ll have to learn how to get over that and continue loving myself, but what the hell am I going to do now? 2k words later and things aren’t exactly clearer, but I can (somewhat) confidently say that I know what I’ll do (for now.) 

As of today, June 17, 2019, I have decided to not give a fuck and to simply just identify with the LGBTQ+ community. I don’t feel comfortable identifying as male, female, neither, both, gender fluid, or anything else. I will simply put off gender and let people call me by whatever pronoun they want.

I just wanna be me. 

Until I find out something else, or become more comfortable with myself, or gather the confidence to “come out of the closet” and stop being so selfish and finally decide what the hell I am, it’ll probably just be like this for awhile.

And honestly? I think I’m okay with that.

[parkapetrs]

nothing personal ✎ tom holland

summary: two years ago, before harrison osterfield, there was you.

a rising name in the film industry, he was ready to leave behind the life of a personal assistant to focus on his career—but not without a last-minute replacement.

although the bond between ex-bosses and bitter ex-assistants should never be rekindled, theory is always better than practice.

a story about exotic lunches, foreign candies, a severely overworked PA, and one pain in the ass named tom holland.

/ moodboard by yours truly

i. an offer

words: 1.6k warnings: language

I was a known strategist—I looked into the future and what I saw, I interpreted in terms of opportunities for growth and progress. 

And yet to some, I was a neurotic. 

To each their own. 

Irrespective of whatever people wanted to call it, it all boiled down to one important thing: I always had a plan. 

So when I knocked on Harrison’s door but came face-to-face with one Tom Holland, I was taken aback and, quite frankly, fairly annoyed that I had come up with nothing. 

But I, of course, wasn’t one for backing down when it came to ex-bosses.

Seeming unperturbed, I marched my way inside the flat, all the while ignoring the voice in my head screaming at me to get out.  

What the hell was I doing? 

“What the hell are you doing?” asked Tom. He was still standing at the door, seemingly frozen in time, but curiously staring at me as I casually rummaged through Harrison’s pantry. 

“What the hell are you doing?” I spat back whilst pulling ingredients from left and right. “You’re not even supposed to be here until next week. So be quiet; I’m trying to make a smoothie.” 

The words sounded strange and unfamiliar as they tumbled out of my mouth. Sass didn’t suit me and I was painfully aware of it, but so did not having a plan. 

Desperate times called for desperate measures. 

The door clicked shut behind Tom. Like a sleuth, he moved across the marble countertop where I was working up a storm, and rested his hands on either side of him as he observed me intently. 

“Been keeping track?” he smirked, his tone arrogant yet teasing. 

I hate to admit it, but Tom Holland possessed a kind of charm to him. As big of an ignoramus he turned out to be, that much he knew. Oftentimes, he used his wit and personality to his advantage—he’d won countless women over with one glance, and gotten free upgrades on flights with a simple smile. 

Fortunately, I’ve built up an immunity to his charisma from working with him in the past. The kind of job I used to have—working in such close proximity to him—was enough to desensitize me from his cruel, borderline-manipulative tendencies. 

I definitely did not miss playing personal assistant to Mr. Holland. 

“I only knew that—“ The blender whirred loudly as it homogenized the strawberries, bananas, ice, and milk before I brought it to a stop. “—because of Harrison. Don’t flatter yourself.” 

“I’m disappointed, Y/N.” Tom pouted, feigning hurt. “I arrived last week. Thought I’d surprise you.” 

Looking around, I saw huge luggages carelessly strewn across the wooden floorboards. I grimaced at the realization that true to Tom Holland nature, he hadn’t even bothered to unpack. 

“Truly, I’m surprised,” I replied, training my voice to sound bored. I grabbed a glass into which I transferred the blender’s contents. Because there was more than enough for one, and because of the sheer goodness of my heart, I asked Tom if he would like a smoothie. 

Of course the glutton would like a smoothie. 

“Actually, I’m good,” he said. “Thanks, though.” 

Huh. 

“I’d like a smoothie,” came Harrison Osterfield’s voice as he sauntered into the living room. A shit-eating grin was plastered on his face, and it was getting increasingly difficult not to slap off. “Hi Y/N. Thanks for coming.” 

Somehow, seeing his elaborately coiffed hair set something off inside me. How can he act so exuberant while the rest of us (read: me) were left to our own devices to deal with the insufferable (read: Tom)? I could feel steam coming out of my nose and ears and, before I knew it, I had downed my glass and slammed it on the counter with a resounding thump. 

“You can get your own smoothie.” 

Harrison held his hands up in mock surrender, but he was laughing. “Woah, there. You seem upset.” 

“Why do you think I am, Haz?” I challenged. Before he could open his mouth to speak, I pressed on, “Right. You forgot to tell me who’d be getting the door for me.” 

“You wouldn’t have come,” was his pathetic reply. My eyes followed him as he lazily plopped down on the royal-blue couch, shamelessly lounging about in the heat of my anger. 

I took the spot next to him, willing every muscle not to pounce and put him in a chokehold. “That justifies it perfectly!” 

As if he hadn’t heard a word, Harrison grabbed the remote control from the table, turned on the TV, and flipped through the channels. At this point, I was livid and fuming from his blatant lack of regard to my situation.  I was about to throw the “this is why we don’t hang out anymore” card when he pointed a finger to the TV, commanding me to look. 

At first, I was confused. Then my mouth hung agape. 

There, on CNN, was a portrait of Harrison. These days, that was no longer a rarity. Seeing as he was all over the media, picking up guest roles for established television dramas, and getting invited to countless talk shows, it was almost natural. 

No, the real shock came with the news headline at the bottom of the screen, screaming in bold letters against a red backdrop. 

“Harrison Osterfield to star in an up and coming historical drama directed by Martin Scorsese.” 

What the… 

Scorsese?! 

Martin fucking Scorsese! 

“Yup,” Haz said nonchalantly, but the pride in his voice was unmistakable. “Your little childhood friend just landed his first starring role.” 

Suddenly, all hostility left my body at once. “Oh my God, Haz! That’s amazing. W-Wow. And Scorsese too! That’s been your dream since… forever.” 

“Exactly! This is huge, Y/N. Absolutely mad.” 

“I’ll miss you, bro,” came an uninvited voice. I was so overjoyed and completely thrilled for my friend that I didn’t even notice Tom had managed to wedge his head between mine and Harrison’s from behind the couch. His arms were hung over the back cushion, pinching Haz’s cheek as commendation and the other accidentally grazing my bare shoulder. I pulled away. 

“Miss him? Where’s he going?” I asked. 

“Nowhere. At least, not now,” Tom winked. “Come on, Haz, tell her already.” 

I narrowed my eyes, looking back and forth between the two boys. “Tell me what?” 

“Don’t freak out before you’ve heard the whole thing, but—“ 

“Don’t start your sentences like that!” I scolded. “Now I’m kind of already freaking out, thanks.” 

“Okay. I know this will come as a shock to you, but I need you to take your spot back as Tom’s personal assistant.” 

Harrison spoke fast and managed to get it all out in one breath, but the words echoed in my mind in slow-motion. When I didn’t answer, Haz took it as a sign to continue. 

“I obviously have other things to pursue now, and with the second Spider-Man movie filming next week, he’ll really need you.” 

“No. Stop talking. Why?! It doesn’t have to be me!” I protested when the air returned to my lungs. 

Harrison pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Y/N, you know I wouldn’t do this to you if I had a choice. I know this is all so last-minute, but that’s exactly why it has to be you. You’ve worked with Tom in the past, and have shown your skill and competence. They trust you!” 

“They?” I raised my eyebrows at Tom, who could only shrug in response. 

“My manager.” A pause. “And me, I guess.” 

“I find that hard to believe,” I glared. “Two years ago, you fired me out of fucking nowhere so you could spend some quality time with your best friend! And now in your most desperate time, you call for me?” 

“I thought you’d be happy,” Tom hummed, but we both knew of the strain that the past had placed on whatever friendship we had. Following the events, I unfollowed him on social media shortly, and he did the same six months later when he finally noticed. We’d never reconciled since then. 

It wasn’t that I grew attached to my boss that I was so bitter about it. No, it was nothing personal. But as someone who only knew to be completely invested in their work, getting laid off for no valid reason never quite sat well with me. Not to mention the mountain of bills I had to tend to in the wake of my unemployment. 

Sensing the rising tension, Haz interjected. “Please, Y/N. At least do it for me. I won’t be able to do Scorsese if I can’t find a replacement. I don’t want to leave Tom with just anyone.” 

The softness in his eyes spoke volumes to me. I’ve always cared for Harrison deeply, and if I was the one thing that came between him and his dream, I’d never be able to forgive myself. 

Also, I was sold the moment he said, “It’s only for six months—just until they can screen and select someone else. They promised to double the pay. Triple, if you want me to pull some strings.” 

“Fine,” I grumbled. 

“Thank you!” He beamed and pulled me into a one-armed hug. “God, I love you so much.” 

I couldn’t help the smile on my face. “But I still start next week, so you can save your praise until then.” 

“Nope. You start in three hours! Tom’s leaving for LA tonight, so you’re taking him to the airport. His bags are ready,” he said, motioning to the luggages I saw earlier. “Then pick him up again next week, when he’ll start filming here in London.” 

Harrison was already barking orders at me, much to my chagrin. Had he not appeased me a while ago, I would have slapped his words right back at him. But no, I was playing nice starting now for the duration of six months. 

“I knew you’d come along,” Tom whispered in my ear when Haz excused himself to grab the itinerary. 

“You shut up,” I pointed a finger at him. “You had nothing to do with this.”

A/N: a short and sweet first chapter for you! send me a message to be tagged in this (i’ll start doing the reblog-for-a-tag in future chapters once i’ve established that people actually wanna read this lol). in the meantime, please help me by commenting and reblogging the hell out of this first one; that shit encourages us writers uwu <3 my ask box is also open for any prompts, questions, and suggestions, so feel free to drop by. let’s be friends!

if you’re still reading, send in red and blue hearts for our boi tom holland!

[cristalknife]

Kadam Week 2021 Day 6 ~ Don’t Bring Me Flowers

This is me trying to not start something on a platform only to post solely somewhere else aka AO3 and ff.net  you can find the complete list of Kadam Week 2021 prompts and you might find more stories on the Kadam Week 2021 AO3 collection

That said, today's prompt is You Don’t Bring Me Flowers

so the summary on ao3 is the following Kurt has a long standing notion about flowers not being the best of ways to convey messages, and a rather morbid way of looking at them.

Adam prefers surrounding himself with living beautiful plant than destroy life for the sake of admiring an ephemeral beauty.

Watching their flower together is something they both find breathtaking. so let me present to you Don’t Bring Me Flowers

(or read on ao3) TW: canon implied suicide attempt (Dave), morbid thoughts (flowers as corpses)

As far as Kurt was concerned flowers were not a romantic gift, they could look pretty in gardens, and while his mom was still alive flowers were often present in his life and in his house.

Flowers were also the perfect elements in fashion accessories or wedding decorations.

They started to lose positive meaning when his mom died, the house was too full of flowers.

Their scent oppressive, too many people that never bothered coming before, suddenly were all over the place.

Demanding attention so they could share their opinions and lighten their consciences, for not being there while his mom was still alive, and could have appreciated the company more than she could now.

When he finally got his first boyfriend, the experience didn't actually help him feeling any different.

The fact was that every single time Blaine wanted Kurt to forgive a transgression, there would be flowers...

The bigger the transgression, the more expensive the bouquet and the more publicly it was delivered.

So that Kurt would be surrounded by so many of ‘their’ friends, all commenting on the romantic gesture that he would have done anything to make them gush had they be the lucky ones in Kurt’s shoes…

All of their friends agreed on a point though, Blaine Anderson was the most romantic guy in the universe, always bringing Kurt's such beautiful flowers...

‘If only they knew’ was all the unimpressed little voice in his mind, kept playing in repeat for Kurt's benefit...

But he kept quiet. He didn't want to stir more trouble than necessary, and after all it was a small price to pay to have a boyfriend…

Even if it was a bitter pill to swallow, that teenage dreams turned out to be not so Mr dreamy after all...

His dad had always told him love was full of compromising, that they were supposed to work together. Like a beautiful car made of different parts, all of which needed to work properly and keep the harmony.

And when Blaine went out of his way to ruin what was already a terrible senior year.

Stealing one of the last opportunity Kurt had to shine, or at least to have a pertinent line in his cv to attend his dream school. Well in that moment he didn't feel at all bad for the pettiness of giving Blaine a bouquet expressing exactly how disappointed, betrayed and pissed off he was at him...

He delivered his concealed message with a smile. And when Blaine didn't react at all, as one should have expected from someone who boosted to love romantic gestures and knowing the language of flowers…

And had done so for ages…

At that moment Kurt started to wonder exactly just how many things he had been lied to...

After the rather touching, and feeling increasingly fake speech, from Blaine, Kurt fluttered his eyelashes and commented softly "You really like them? I got some help from the florist to express my feelings for you, did she get them right?"

Blaine had looked at him nodding and smiling brightly as he said "Of course she did, I can see all the pride love and support they express, you always surprise me, you always zig when I think you're about to zag.”

And as soon as the words left Blaine's mouth the seed of doubt that was planted at Dalton.

And nurtured by the arrival of Sebastian Smythe and their night at Scandal.

What had started as a small seed had finally grown into a mature plant almost ready to bloom.

It wouldn't be until Valentine day, after being romanced, by the last person Kurt had ever expected, for a whole week.

A collection of cards and small thoughtful tokens that led to a surprising love declaration, by no other than Dave Karofsky.

The one reformed bully, who had been one of the main reasons why Kurt's path ever met Blaine's.

The single red rose and box of candies was exactly the kind of valentine surprise Kurt dreamed of… When he was still in first grade, his mom was still around, and flowers were still something to cherish.

On that day, after having to reject a guy who had tried harder than his own boyfriend, and managed the feat, to make Kurt feel loved and appreciated, despite their shared history…

Dave had said honestly "I've wanted to call you since that night at Scandals, and, look, it's taken me a while, but for the first time in my life, I'm trying to be honest about what I feel."

And that little bud of doubt growing inside Kurt's mind was starting to open its petal and bloom.

Because Kurt knew, he knew that Dave, who still wasn't out at his own school.

Dave, who was taking baby steps hanging out at a gay club and feeling comfortable there, in a way Kurt himself hadn't been able to do.

Dave was here, on valentine day, with the gorilla suit in which he personally delivered every bit of romance Kurt had been dreaming about.

Dave was sitting with him, in the middle of the renamed Sugar Shack, still the one central hot spot for date nights in Lima, confessing openly his feelings for Kurt.

Despite starting to believe that love was capable of making people do crazy things, Kurt knew it was unlikely that Dave had risked so much, put himself so openly out there without a good reason...

And the only good reason that Kurt's mind kept whispering like a gentle breeze caressing the still closed petals of that blooming flower called doubt, was that Dave must have thought he had an honest to God shot.

A short to either be accepted or rejected on his own merits.

Suspicion that added nourishment for that flowering sensation.

Suspicion that had a non verbal confirmation, when the only answer Kurt could offer to Dave was a flat and almost sounding unconvinced, even to his own ears "I'm with Blaine, the only thing I can offer you is friendship if that's enough, but I'd understand if it's not."

Dave was devastated, but once more he acted in a way that Kurt knew deep down Blaine never did and never would.

Dave stood there, crushed, doubt crossing his face for a moment before he nodded with a strained smile "I'll take what I can, I hope you'll like the candies, the butterscotch ones are my favourite."

And with that, as consequences of one of the most truly romantic gestures Kurt received, Dave's life crumbled around him...

And Kurt found himself once more in a hospital room looking like all the tristate area florists had barfed in it all the flowers they had.

Flowers that were supposedly symbols of love and care, that came as way too little and way too late for it to be but anything else paltry pleasantries and social niceties.

Dying flowers, that tried to mask with their sweet perfume, the bitter antiseptic scent typical of a hospital.

Despite Kurt's beliefs that flowers were never bringers of good news, his complete loathing for the practice truly solidified when he finally managed to move to New York, got a job in which he was starting to settle.

Only for Blaine to throw him the last curveball Kurt would ever accept for the sole sake of having a boyfriend.

A surprise visit, with the largest bouquet of red roses and baby breath.

It had taken Kurt a whole evening of prodding, to finally have Blaine confess he had cheated on him.

After that night, it took Kurt months to stop feeling sick as soon as the scent of roses reached him.

Feat rendered even more difficult by the fact that even after Kurt rightfully reached his breaking point and ended things with Blaine permanently, that cheating bastard started spending a fortune sending him flowers at the office...

If he had that much laying there, and he really missed Kurt so much that h felt the need to fell onto a stranger’s dick, couldn't have Blaine spent all those bucks into, oh Kurt didn’t know, something like a train or a plane ticket to New York and visit before cheating?

The amount and constant flow of flowery offers were making Kurt's desk looking like a florist's promotional window.

Other than giving him a seriously annoying stress headache, and yet another reason to hate receiving flowers...

Which on some days, when he was laying in bed thinking about Nyada and his future as an actor, made him very glad that it was mostly female actresses to whom flowers were sent.

And he was pretty sure that by the time he'd made enough of a name for himself, for it to even be something to think about, he probably would have already gained the reputation of someone preferring other kinds of well wishing tokens.

On the brighter side of things, Vogue had been Kurt's safe heaven.

Chase seeing the overboard floral composition had commented easily "Someone out there is either seriously crushing on you or seriously trying to make up for something. I wonder which is it, and I'm here if you want to talk about it..."

Kurt's smile had been tight as he answered honestly "The latter… And there's not much to talk about unless you know a way to stop this madness, all those flowers are giving me a terrible headache."

And like a knight in shimmery grey Prada suit Chase said "You can leave a message down to security with the list of people you won't accept things from, that way anything that arrives sent from them will be returned to the sender."

Finally with a blocked number, few blocked social media connections, and a couple of words left downstairs, Kurt's life in New York was free of suffocating flowers’ corpses.

The way Kurt made his way into Nyada and through his first week of class was surprising, but not as astonishing as finding out how different things were, when he wasn't the only one doing the chasing.

Meeting Adam had been, surprising but also refreshing, There Brit was the first ray of sunshine after the darkness of the winter months, wrapped in the fresh ocean breeze of a summer day. A pleasantly warm and welcoming presence.

Adam had made it rather clear from the very beginning that he was interested.

But he also allowed Kurt to decide whether taking any step, at all or leading in choosing the pace, simply happy to be in Kurt's life even just as a friend...

Desperate Blaine had moved on recruiting those who used to be mutual friends, who turned out to be just Blainers, to pass on messages, apologies and reminders of all the romantic gestures Blaine did for Kurt, hoping for their reunion.

Which instigated the Second Great Purge in Kurt's life.

After sending a public message on all his socials, that he had a new boyfriend and anyone bothering him mentioning his ex, offering information when they were not requested, would find themselves promptly just as blocked as Blaine was.

Finn's reaction to that message had been a single sunflower emoji followed by a smiley face and a thumb up.

And for the first time in over a decade, the corner of Kurt's mouth twitched upwards at its sight…

Adam had always loved plants, especially in the springs, when the flowers changed the countryside into a buzzing blurry of colours.

It had always fascinated him seeing how tiny green buds would open up, to reveal so many bright brilliant colours and wonderfully different scents.

Maybe it was because he grew up on the outskirts of Essex's suburb, where the distance from the beautiful view allowed him to be exposed to the constant changing, happening in the natural world during the spring and summer months.

Maybe it was the fact that his grandparents had a delightful cottage in the countryside, that allowed Adam the chance to appreciate how flowers in the ground, or even on a pot, lasted way longer than cut flowers.

Maybe it was also because both his father and grandfather were beekeepers, and they had taught him how much bees were indispensable for everyone's life.

How even removing a single flower, could mean more fatigue for the small insects, and consequentially endangering their colony.

So Adam had never thought about cutting short the life of a flower, not for the mere sake of just admiring it for a couple of days.

Especially not when he could instead take home a small plant, care for it and enjoy the flowers for longer.

And when his first boyfriend called him weird, and cruelly mocked him for preferring such practice.

Adam's first reaction, after dumping the unfeeling jerk, had been crying.

Only to be consoled by his nana's wisdom

"Adam darling, I know you're hurt now, but think of the bright side.

Now you know that the man right for you is going to be someone who could appreciate the beauty of the world, without feeling the need to temporary own it only to end up destroying it.

He's going to be a young man able to walk with you through a botanical park, and see that amongst all that beauty surrounding you, the happiness shining in your eyes is the most precious.

And that he will know that he is the luckiest of men for already holding your hand in his."

That speech etched indelibly into a fourteen year's old Adam mind, who took it heart and for years afterwards, he searched for someone who could live up to the dreamy picture those words painted for him.

The American's way of life was different, neither especially good nor especially bad, just not what Adam grew up with.

New York was big, and on certain days it felt too stuffy, with so much concrete around, but there were beautiful green oasis, and precious gems that could be found and be treasured.

It took him quite a while, and few failed attempts, to find out someone who had the potential to be all the things his nana had said he could find all those years ago.

Kurt was fascinating from afar, and simply breathtaking upon closer look.

He had the resilience and beauty of a willow tree. Looking deceptively frail while being at his strongest, bending but not breaking.

And given enough care and time he would become even stronger, beautiful, and with the kind of plentiful beautiful flowers that could be appreciated in all their beauty, solely by admiring them on the living plant.

There hadn't been yet an occasion that would have traditionally warranted the exchange of flowers, so that was a subject they had yet to touch.

Which it was why Adam found himself pretty confused when he got set aside first by Rachel "Look I get you and Kurt are still new, and you are a good guy and I like you, Especially because I'm grateful you defended Brody when Santana was being so unreasonable. So I'm going to tell you this.

You might not know it but Klaine set up pretty high standard of romance, and I don't want to see you fail, Kurt used to get so many bouquets that some of us girls were pretty envious of it. So yeah think about that, maybe a flower or two wouldn't be amiss next time you come around..."

Funny thing that he discovered about Kurt's friends, was that basically all the ones he had met this far, didn't even have the need of him making more than a couple of sounds, sometimes not even a whole word, to have a whole conversation with him...

On certain days, Adam wondered if the fact that instead, while he was alone with Kurt, they had long alternating conversations, with intermissions of comfortable silences, was a good or a bad sign.

Everything he had been told about Kurt, by those who claimed to love him and be his friends, was in stark contrast to all he was when they were together and around their common friends...

During his darkest days, Adam wondered instead which one was the real Kurt, and which one was a distorted reflection created to please others.

The mere notion that both existed was a chilling nail stuck in his heart.

When Santana came to him to tell him "Look Doctor Who, I don't like people, but I can see he is different with you, a good different.

Do yourself and Lady Hummel a favour. Stop listening to the garbage getting out of the midget's mouth and do you.

If there is one thing I know is that you just need to watch him closely to tell whether he's guarded or not.

As friendly as he can appear to be, he keeps his cards close to the vest that one.

Blargh, this talk is making me disgustingly soft, so bottom line is you should totally tap that fine ass and make Auntie Snixx proud.

Now off you go. Go do what disgustingly sweet gay men do to each other… Pick up flowers, smooch, whatever… Just keep him in your bed instead of sending him back all sparkling and having rainbows and flower fall from his mouth every other word...

I want to have a night or tree in a real bed instead of the pullover, so he needs to be away for few days, capisce?"

Adam wasn't totally sure whether it was solely a self serving suggestion, or if it was an indication that Kurt did need a break from how things were in the loft.

But he guessed this was a time as good as any to take Kurt into one of his favourite places in New York.

And see whether or not he might be the one Adam had been looking for.

He wasn't fourteen anymore, of course it would be a disappointment, but it wouldn't be such a deal breaker if they could talk it out and respect each other’s standing on the matter.

Then again Kurt this far had been strangely silent on the subject of exchanging flowers, so Adam held a little bit of hope that it was a good sign...

Another thing he picked up from the bizarre stories he heard about Kurt's high school glee club, was the cutesy detail of insisting on creating a single 'ship' name for the couples. Mixing together parts of their names, and creating a new one representing two.

Adam had found out recently something that Kurt could appreciate, or at least smile about it.

As they walked through the path amongst the flowers, he could see a slight tension in Kurt’s body that wasn't passing as they kept on walking.

Knowing how Kurt had a lot more difficulties expressing what he wanted, at least at the beginning of their relationship, Adam asked a little worried

"If this is not of your liking or you have allergies will you please let me know? I want our time together to be enjoyable for the both of us…"

Kurt's soft smile and gentle kiss, was making him understand perfectly the sentiment behind his nana's words.

For he was feeling extremely lucky in having Kurt's hand in his right now.

And what Kurt said next, felt like the gentle breeze carrying cherries’ blossoms’ petals, a beautiful sign of changes to come.

"I like this very much. And even if I had not enjoyed the garden, which mind you is not the case.

Seeing you coming alive as you tell me more of all we see around us, seeing your enthusiasm and obvious love for the subject.

That would be more than enough to make this an enjoyable experience. Luckily, as far as I know I don't have any allergies, so if we find one, it'll be an unwelcome surprise for the both of us"

Adam chuckled softly at the last quip of humour Kurt offered, and in a spur of the moment decision Adam took Kurt to the tropical part of the gardens, until they were standing in front of a tree grinning mischievously

"This tree is called bur flower tree, but locally in the South and Southeastern Asia, its name is Kadam.

Right now it’s too early to see its flowers, they won’t bloom till late Summer, and they will continue to bloom till early Winter.

But when their times arrive, their scent is sweet and their globular heads are golden in colour and about two inches in diameter… I’ve seen them and I believe they are a sight to behold”

Kurt had stopped looking at the tree to look at Adam in the eyes as soon as the word Kadam had left his lips.

While Klaine Kurt, had been nothing more than an afterthought, the first in line to be thrown under the bus to allow space in the spotlight for Blaine.

The reverence with which Adam spoke of Kadam, made Kurt feel like he would be put first above all others, above Adam himself…

And for the first time, Kurt was wishing to see and smell this flower that promised to be as precious as the man holding his hand.

Longing was tinting Kurt’s voice as he asked tentatively “When the time is right, will you take me back to see those flowers?”

Adam’s smile softened as he nodded “I will take you to see our golden globes when the time is right.”

As it happened life had a way of getting in the way. It had kept them busy, on a late fall afternoon, after a week that had them both in frustrated tears, due to their schedules continuously shifting always out of sync, allowing them little to no time to spend together.

Adam sent Kurt a text that said 'I think it's time for us to see our personal golden globes, what say you?'

Kurt's answer was almost instantaneous 'Let's go'

Even before they reached their tree, the sweet scent of its blooms could be perceived in the air.

Contrary to Kurt's fears it was neither oppressive nor overwhelming…

Once they stood in front of their tree Kurt looked appreciatively at their aesthetic.

The flowers were as beautiful as Adam had promised, squeezing Adam’s hand in his he leaned on the side, letting their arms touch as he rested his head on Adam’s shoulder.

With the first smile, a flower brought to his face in what felt like forever, stretching his lips he said “I think I love those flowers”

Adam placed a gentle kiss on Kurt’s head and said softly “You know right that in here they are protected and cannot be picked?”

Kurt chuckled softly and continued serene “That’s part of their charm, no one is allowed to go and break them apart, and force them to have no other thing to do but die”

Despite Kurt’s morbid way of looking at it the message reaching Adam’s ears was more hopeful than it might have seemed.

So he continued his questioning with a grin “So you simply don’t like flowers or there’s something more to it?”

Kurt hummed softly trying to count how many flowers he saw before getting lost in Adam’s words again…

“I like flowers just fine, I simply don’t like to surround myself with dying things that I will have to dispose of within a couple of days.”

Adam smiled and kissed Kurt properly, enjoying how his boyfriend was finally relaxed in his arms.

And then he said reassuringly “It’s ok darling, I prefer plants as whole myself. When we’ll end up going back to the UK to visit my folks, I’m going to take you to my grandpa's cottage. I bet the flowers I can show you there, while not as exotic as this one, will still be just as breathtaking as you are.”

Kurt nuzzled his cheek against Adam’s and then turned back to look at their flower

“I’m sure they are going to be just as breathtaking as this moment, because you’ll be there sharing them with me.”

~The End~

[im-nora-ephron-bitch]

I don't know if we have any fic on this but I remembered that scene where Kat was packing those soul wheel bags and Jacqueline asked how she was doing, so I was wondering if you could do a follow-up scenario where Jacqueline has a discussion with Kat about her relationship with and feelings for Adena. You could also relate it to when she went to request for vacation to Peru. You can explore it in any way suitable to you, just take it away. I trust you. Lol.

Came out different than anticipated, but I tried. Jacqueline is tough to write.

“How are you doing?”

Stressed. Confused. Upset. Not wanting to actually talk about it.

“I’m okay…” Kat knew to talk about work, because there was no way she was actually going to talk about this lesbian shit with Jacqueline.  “Just some of the water bottles…the logo was faulty.”

“Okay,” Jacqueline cut her off. “Let me know how it goes.” As Jacqueline walked away Kat knew she wasn’t going away.  She had been trying to keep her hands busy so she didn’t go back to her cell phone to stalk Coco or Adena on social media for the 100th time that day.  But as she stuffed the last hat into the bag, Jacqueline’s question kept echoing in her mind.

Kat didn’t like this feeling.  

It was different for her.  

She never was at a loss like this.

She didn’t really care for being in this type of situation.

So she did what the next logical thing was. She decided to run. She decided not to talk about it.

She grabbed her phone and sent out a cowardly text to Adena and then did the next best thing, that was sure to not back fire whatsoever…she shut her phone off.  

The next few days were a blur.  A blur of Soul Wheel, heartache, wine, and Jane and Sutton giving her sad eyes every so often. She knew that they were just trying to make her feel better, but unfortunately their pity was not helping.  

Every so often her mind would go back to that moment when she sent that stupid text to Adena and when Jacqueline asked her how she was.  Maybe if she actually answered her truthfully none of this would have happened.  Maybe if she didn’t shut her phone off her and Adena could have had a shot.  Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Kat was at her desk in Scarlet late one night, avoiding the sad eyes of her friends, and opting to not drown her sorrows in alcohol once again.  She glanced down at her phone for the millionth time, knowing that Adena wasn’t going to text her, but still staring hoping that it might happen.

“You’re here late,” a sing songy voice startled Kat from her thoughts and she looked up to see Jacqueline approaching her desk.

“Oh hey Jacqueline,” Kat instinctively straightened her posture and pulled up the Scarlet Twitter page to make it look like she was working.  “Just scheduling some tweets.” Kat cleared her throat and began to type something about their next issue.

Jacqueline made her way over and sat on top of Kat’s desk. “Those tweets can probably wait until tomorrow.”

“Yeah I know, just trying to get a head start on things.”

Jacqueline nodded, but with a look on her face the showed she wasn’t buying a word out of Kat’s mouth.  

“How are things?”

“Things are good, just beginning to plan a new hashtag campaign,” Kat quickly explained, and feeling increasingly more uncomfortable.

“How are other things…not work related?”

Jacqueline was giving Kat a stare down that let Kat know that she would not easily get out of this situation without discussing her personal life.

“Uhm…well..you know…it’s okay.” Kat shifted in her a seat a bit, trying to stay neutral, but with Jacqueline still staring her down waiting for more.  “I’ve just been having some sexual identity struggles.”

Kat was waiting for some type of eyebrow raise or shock on Jacqueline’s face, but there was nothing.

“Would it happen to be a certain photographer we did a piece on?”

The shock then illuminated Kat’s face instead.

“How’d you-”

“I noticed she was stopping by a few times, and also you and your friends don’t close the door when you talk in that closet.” Jacqueline explained and Kat immediately felt both embarrassed and relieved that Jacqueline had figured it out herself. “Well, regardless, she seems like a lovely girl.”

Kat nodded in agreement, thinking that Jacqueline didn’t even know just how “lovely” Adena was.  Or how brave she really was.  Or how talented she was. “She is…” Kat trailed off

“So what’s the issue?” Jacqueline said it so point blankly that Kat couldn’t help but smile at her boss’ straightforwardness.

“She’s not exactly single. Well, she was going to be single…for me.  But I panicked. So she’s not single anymore.  So there’s that.” Kat rambled on, feeling even more annoyed about her situation than she was before.

Jacqueline nodded and crossed her arms. “Well it might not be ‘that’.” Jacqueline used air quotes and rolled her eyes at Kat.  “Sometimes you just have to give people time and space to find their way back to you.”

It was some cheesy line that she would hear in a movie and hate, but somehow coming from Jacqueline it made a lot more sense.  

“Plus it sounds like you could use some of that time and space to figure some things out for yourself…” Jacqueline gave Kat a knowing look again and suddenly Kat’s anxiety dripped away because she knew Jacqueline was right.  She’s been a wreck lately and she really needed to press pause on everything.

“I guess I have been a little distracted lately,” Kat gave a small chuckle and rubbed her head in her hands.  

“It’s understandable.  It’s also human,” Jacqueline acknowledged and hopped off Kat’s desk. “Which, you know, you are allowed to be human when you work here. Why don’t you head home, get some ice cream, and maybe actually think about your feelings that you have for Adena for a change?”

“That sounds horrible,” Kat laughed.

“It will be horrible, and confusing.  But you’ll make it through,” Jacqueline started to head back to her own office.

“Hey Jacqueline!” Kat called out to her boss.  “Thanks…for everything.”

“I’m just doing my job,” Jacqueline waved off as she walked to her office.  Kat smiled, looked back at her computer and finally decided to call it a night and take Jacqueline’s advice.  She shut her computer off and headed out to go get herself some ice cream and face some feelings.

[flowing-paint]

GeeDubs fatigue?

Lately, GeeDubs behaves like a leaking wargaming faucet... that's always dripping new stuff. AoS, WH4k, Specialized games: no matter what the products are about, they are (generally) awesome. Personally, all this continuous tickling my shiny-syndrome-spot is starting to be a little annoying. What about you? If you feel the same, keep reading ‘cause I’ll throw some motivational stuff in the post as well!

I know how this works: the act of continuously teasing buyers with new stuff dramatically rises sales and, being GW a for-profit institution, that is probably the way to go for them to make money. Gamers are happy! Collectors are happy! Producers are happy! Everybody is happy! I mean, really?

Well, I'm not super-sure if I'm really happy or not. It's probably just me being grumpy but I don't see how buyers can be (really) happy with this sales scheme. Let me argument.

Let's imagine a parallel universe where you can afford all the models you want: would you be buying them? If you still have the same life you have in this universe we are now (same number of friends/time) I couldn't imagine the amount of time required to build, paint and play all that stuff! I dare to say that even having all the time you want and hundreds of people to play with, the hobby would easily fill up your entire life. So, that would look more or less like hell to me... or, you know... a job.

Well, these days I am starting to feel a similar sort of pressure coming from the hobby side: I just bought something and there they come again with a new thing I would really like to buy. And then another, and another... it just never ends. Bear in mind that I’m not making this a money-related issue: when I’m staring down the barrel of a thousand minis from various ranges I still have to paint, the last thing I want to hear is how awesome the new boxed set is (yes, I’m talking to YOU Forgebane!). I think I will unsubscribe from the GW mailing list for a while even though reality will still hit me in the face through social media. My situation now is well represented by this old Futurama clip. Just bigger and more subtle.

What’s this rant about?

Sort-of-rant, really.

It is about me starting to think a Warhammer / Star Wars analogy here: I used to be always super-excited when SW stuff was involved but after Disney made its debut in that “galaxy far far away” the merchandise went nuts. You have SW mugs, SW chocolate eggs, SW slippers, SW cereals and a plethora of useless stuff with BB-8 or C3PO or ..... (insert each and every character’s name here). As a consequence, I feel bloated every time I hear something Star Wars related. It doesn’t surprise me the fact I still have to watch the last movie... by the way, I first saw “The force awakens” on the plane back from a business trip. So, nay, not super-excited anymore.

Now I am starting to fear the same thing may happen in my brain with GW products, leading to a nuclear chain reaction that may bring me to the point of no return: hating the hobby. I don’t want this to happen. And I definitely don’t want to feel sick and tired of those miniature worlds I was so eager to bring to life through painting and modeling. The point here is that I feel like I am really bringing my miniatures to life by painting them the best I can and making a small diorama of every single base I make. I write backstories for almost all my characters and I make them come true in battle (in my games). Again, I came to the conclusion that all this “new release” stuff is getting my hobby vector in a direction I don’t like.

Get some damn focus

What to do to run away from the never-ending ads, unboxings, WIPs etc? Well, as I said I have a thousand(s) unpainted minis, various game systems, board games and all this sort of jazz. I also have this blog/website! I will try to combine them and do something to help me focus more. I will try to distract myself from the distraction. It would be really nice if I could manage to do some of the following things. I decided to share them because I think they may be good to motivate you guys too so, let me know if they do or if you have any other good idea!

Close my eBay account - Ok, this is a joke but, seriously, eBay is killing my wallet. Damn!

Blacklist GW newsletter - This is not a joke. I will try to get rid of the daily emails so I can focus on something else then dreaming of buying more grey plastic.

Make an inventory - I’m not entirely sure I would be able to tell you exactly how many minis I have around the house(es) now if you asked. I’ll get this sorted!

Keep a backlog - At the beginning of 2018, I’ve seen a lot of people on the internet talking about paint logs. That’s useful to measure your “progress” but what I need is a way to keep track of my “warehouse stock”. Maybe I’ll separate the miniatures by genre or game or whatever and then try to dig through the pile. I’ll see what I come up with.

Come up with a background for my minis - Short stories, episodes, whatever is needed to make a miniature more alive. When I come up with an idea, I write it on my blog (as a Sunday post but not necessarily).

Play, play, play - And then play more! What got me motivated to paint all those Death Guard models was the need I had to reach 1000 pts to play. If this is true then hitting the goal, playing and setting a new goal will probably help me out painting increasingly more miniatures.

Get some terrain done - This really should come before the play one. You cannot play if you don’t have enough terrain on the table. Getting to build your terrain from scratch is a good way to keep the hobby going while actually doing something else. I want to try my hand at sculpting my stuff from scratch.

Try to bring new people into the hobby - This is tricky... but for what I have seen, trying to teach something to someone will always help you learning and getting new motivation. Now, a suggestion: there are not enough people approaching this ultra-niche hobby so if you find somebody, nurture him/her!

Get more content on the site - The “one tutorial a month” scheme is not super-good because I have many ideas in the pipeline that I am not writing. It is a fail-safe plan, indeed, ‘cause I will never run short of ideas but at the same time it doesn’t motivate me to do more. I will try to post tutorials on Sunday together with other content and figure out where I go from there. Lately, I’ve been thinking about “poster tutorials”: some large size PDFs summarizing the technique useful for offline use. I could write them for the most useful tutorials. For the time being, I still have zero readers so it still sounds like overdoing it. We’ll see.

So, in the end, do you really think this was a completely useless rant? I prefer to see it as a tool for self-motivation and this is ultimately the reason why I decided to write it: maybe other people out there may find it useful.

Now, let’s see if I can do some hobby!

Game on!

Support me if you like what you see.

[superemeralds]

sonic forces review

EDIT: added day after thoughts under read more

Hey nyall! Time to review forces!

First, a broad, spoiler free, review. Under the cut will be a more in depth review containing spoilers for both, the main game AND episode shadow.

Please note that this is from the perspective of someone with adhd. I can’t tell how some of the things that peeved me would affect neurotypicals.

General info:

There is an easy and a hard mode. (hard mode is just normal mode “for ppl who played sonic before”) It took me 7 hours and 44 minutes to complete the entire game including episode shadow. Granted, I took quite a few breaks for breathers and shitpostingly liveblogging me playing the game on a discord server + I think I’m just bad at the game.

There are over 30 levels to play, of which a few did repeat and you just play with a different character, but it was still fun!

The hub map got increasingly confusing and hard to navigate and i really hate it now that i completed it because there’s too much happening at once on the screen.

Game play:

There was a Classic Sonic, Modern Sonic and Custom Character type game play.

I personally do not enjoy Classic Sonic game play but it was very well playable once I remembered I could use the arrow key pad instead of the left joystick.

Modern Sonic was often too fast in platforming sections and the absence of drift made sharp curves in 3D areas hard to handle, mainly when you activated boost (as the game intends you to). But it was very fun and refreshing to be able to boost again.

The Custom Character could use different wispons to do progress in the game. This is probably what has the most replay factor, as you can go back to levels using different wispons to clear new paths that you were previously unable to go through. The wispon use can be kinda sloppy at times, but once you get used to it it can be very fun.

The tag team game play was sloppy. It was never clear which character you are playing as right now (until later I realized you are playing both at the very same time ? I think? i am still confused).

Visuals:

The lighting in the cutscenes and levels often comes short and can even ruin the atmosphere at times. A lack of detail in some scenes undermines this. 

The characters are not as expressive as they could be, but there are some iconic expressions to spot throughout the game.

Sometimes camera angles shift weirdly or zoom out too much (some times the character even blends in with the stage and you don’t see it at all anymore when you are in movement) and you lose track of your character and most probably fall off the stage or get hurt. Sometimes there is also a little too much going on in the background.

On the contrary, the game had also tried to pull quite a few visually stunning shots and lighting in both levels and cutscenes.

It is overall still better than previous games because it has more heart and life in it and I hold it dear.

Overall feelings about the game:

The game had mostly been very fun! There was a lot of variety between stages and the wispons gave the gameplay a very fresh kick.

Some stages were frustrating because the character was too fast/very hardly visible for the platforming and I ended up dying a lot in the same spot. 

Not to say too much about the story, but Classic Sonic was pure fanservice and was not important to the plot whatsoever and the game would’ve done very well without him.

Character development was pretty absent.

The pacing of the game in general was very sloppy and almost even uncomfortably fast (rushed) and bland.

Most of the levels were very short to a point where you’d expect there to be multiple acts of it because you refuse to accept that this was already the end of it.

The story had some strong points, though, and the music was absolutely phenomenal, like always, BUT the music was not as recognizable as it was in previous games. I played the final boss only a very few hours ago and i cannot remember the tune to it at all.

The game had a lot of potential but it was executed rather sloppily than exceptionally.

All in all this game gets a 7/10 for effort from me.

because im very generous and i still had fun and was hyped and enjoyed it despite all the annoying parts. I mean i am also 06fucker69

Longer and more in depth review including spoilers under the cut

!!!! WARNING SPOILERS START HERE !!!!

I will try to stay in chronological order, but that is the first thing that is kinda peeving me in this game. 

(warning i quickly grew tired and couldn't write anymore but i forced myself to finish)

The time skips and flashbacks are inconsistent and have a harsh transition. For example the 6 months between Sonic’s defeat and the recruitment of the Rookie is just white text on a black screen that isn’t even narrated. Sometimes the time between perspectives is very disorted and you forget about Classic and Tails while you are busy with another mission that is forced upon you thanks to the linear 1 perspective story.

I would’ve had a 3 perspective story, with 3 story modes. Each story mode would explore the same story from the different perspectives like in SADX, SA2, heroes and Sonic the hedgehog 2006. (mostly 06 though)

The stages were perfectly arranged and build to be incorporated into a 3 perspective story. Classic might have had more time for character development and relevance. Also more, mostly consistent, time with him would make us more attached and feel actual emotions about his parting in the very end.

The idea of having Mania connect with forces like that and have a “reason” for Classic to appear is good, but Classic just arrives and is there. For not reason at all besides the sake of being there in order to please 2d/classic enthusiast fans. Great concept in theory, sloppily executed though.

Modern Sonic

The game play was very sloppy as Sonic just could fall off the stage and you just had a very huge lack of control of his speed. Mostly when you were in boost in a place that intended you to boost. The absence of drift was very unnerving.

The thing about Sonic being imprisonment was just. so..... unrealistically done. Sonic just came out of the cage and he’s been doing just fine. But he’s gotta be down, because couldn’t run. He absolutely hates being stuck in a place and it’s been SIX FUCKING MONTHS. The bars are also so far apart he can just slip out. Also Sonic can easily break out of prison.

This was not the first time he was imprisoned. In SA2 he had a far greater emotional response, and he broke out the moment he knew what he had to do to make things right. (He volunteered to be imprisoned in SA2, in forces he was forced in prison.)

This is not just out of character for him, but also very lazy writing. The time skip between was badly done, in a black screen with text. No context as to why Silver is suddenly here (if you didn’t read the comic you have no idea whats going on) or how the resistance formed.

Everyone thinks Sonic died, Knuckles is very upset and admits he cant get used to him being gone; and suddenly he gets the news that Sonic is fine and it doesn't trigger any emotional response in him. Or anyone really much besides Amy; who had refused to believe he died in the first place.

He just immediately goes on a mission and fights Infinite.

Tag Team

It was a very good idea to incorporate this mechanic and was mainly well done and fun; the double and triple boost was a nice lil kick off to regular gameplay.

As mentioned was it never clear who you are playing right now and it didn’t warn you about swiches. It could’ve been done better with the heroes mechanics of swicharound. There were more than enough characters to have multiple teams that could be playable.

Avatar

The custimization options aren’t spectacular, but that was not to be expected. I was positively surprised to have the option to chose between 3 voices. 

Villains

Chaos is. Just there. He wasn't even a boss. He was just there for the shock value/fan service.

The Metal Sonic fight was okay.

Zavok was annoying but okay and reasonable.

Shadow wasn’t even a bossfight he was also just shock-factor. He joined the team but was of very little value. (Except for DLC, will talk abt later.)

Infinite has 4 boss fights. And in the end he just vanishes. He’s basically still existent? I think? what happened? Are we just going to accept this?

The final boss was lame and not memorable at all. At least nega wisp phase 2 was iconic.

Infinite

Infinite is a very interesting character with much potential, which they sadly didn't really use much at all except for him being extra. He didn't show off much of his personality and we couldn't learn to appreciate/hate him. 

The game doesn't mention much about his origin, so you will have to read the online comic in the social medias to understand. This might be good marketing to get consumers to consume media on different platforms, but it does not make much sense for newcomers who know nothing about Sonic and don’t follow the social medias to begin with.

Someone who just picked up the game and it’s their first Sonic game.... They won't understand shit.

I want to see more of him. He got so much potential to grow and ultimately redeem himself. Maybe in a future game? Or in the comics at least.

Episode Shadow

The 3 levels were well. One time it was a sonic level but with shadow and some lil things changed. The other was a custom character level but with shadow. The other was just generic 2d platforming with cubes. None of these were long or new. It was fun, sure, but it wasn't exciting.

I was kinda peeved that even though infinite was revealed, we still didnt get to see his face.

Visuals

Lighting harsh, sometimes interesting, but not completely fleshed out/good/atmospheric. 

There are scenes/levels that have stunning visuals (the sonic level in space and the scene with the sun.) even when its not perfect.

Just. The characters sometimes float above the ground and the lighting is very white and harsh and not atmospheric. (The colors are meessed up and too bright. The characters look like they have a completely different light source from the environment)

EDIT: A DAY AFTER ADDITIONS

okay so a day after, replaying some stages, I still think the game is very fun.

There are quite a few things that are peeving me still. I just remembered the whole null space thing, which is totally wasted potential. You could’ve had a few levels in that space with fucky gravity and weird cube shit going, but you just had to double boost out and that was it.

Many tricks the villain packs out are treated as something they can oercome easily and they just. Win “because they always do”.

I want to see the heroes doubt themselves and have character development. The only character that does have character development at all is the custom character. Infinite arguably does undergo some development too; in episode shadow.

There is a lot of potentials for DLCs and I hope they release them and have more characters playable.

[jyushimatsu-falls-in-love]

s2ep10: a little respect

♪ So-o-oul, I hear you call-iiiiiing Oh baby, pleeeease... Give a little respe-ect, toooooo meeeeee! ♪ - “A Little Respect” by Erasure, which seems to be this week’s theme song :P

[SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!]

The first of this week’s three skits is “Karamatsu and Brothers”, which I know nearly everyone was looking forward to. After all, Kara’s the fan favorite both here and in the Japanese fandom, where recently he’s won the top spot in a recent magazine’s favorite characters poll; does it live up to everyone’s standards?!

The skit opens with Totty asking Choro to buy him a soda, which Choro refuses to do in a very aggressive manner. I like how Totty described Choro here - “You act like an honor student, but you’re really just a delinquent!”; it succinctly summarizes Choro’s character well enough :P 

Luckily for Totty, Kara comes to the rescue and offers to buy his soda for him! And after Totty gets his soda, he calls Kara “nice” and “reliable”, which makes Kara feel very happy and sparkly :P

Then everyone else starts asking Kara to do things for them: Starting with Oso, who asks Kara to do his chores in his stead; then Jyushi asks the same thing, then Ichi, then all of a sudden everyone except Choro is asking Kara to do something for him. And Kara says yes, he’ll do them! He’ll do anything his brothers ask him, they can rely on him!!

At this point Choro steps in, and scolds the others for putting so much on Kara. He even scolds Kara a bit for not standing up for himself. Honestly these little moments of Choro stepping in for his family members’ sakes (approaching Matsuzo about his problem in S2Ep4, now telling the others to lay off Kara in this ep.) are very nice; he really can be a good son and brother, after all ;v; And to the other brothers’ credit, they do feel bad for piling so much on Kara after realizing it - but then Kara protests and assures them no, it’s okay, he likes it when the brothers ask him to do stuff, it’s perfectly fine!! And with that assurance, the others go back to treating him like a work horse :P

Later, up on the rooftop, Kara confesses to Choro the truth - he actually hates it when the others ask him to do so much for them, so much that he could either die or kill them. When asked about why can’t just say “no” to them, Kara puts on the cool act and says that it’s because he’s such a nice guy~ But Choro quickly gets that the real reason Kara can’t say “no” is because beneath the painful guy act, he’s really just a timid wimp who can’t stand up for himself :P

Honesty Tidbit # 1: I never thought I’d actually say this, but... Kara’s situation was oddly relatable to me in some aspects. My family members - especially my sister - ask me to do things for them, get things for them, etc. all the time. And even when I don’t want to do them, I do them anyway orz (The difference between me and Kara is that unlike him, I usually complain first before doing them :P) To be fair, since I’m a NEET and no one else is, I guess it makes sense that I’m asked to do things for everyone while they’re doing work or resting from work. But still, it’s annoying...

Honesty Tidbit # 2: I can already see the annoying part of the fandom latching onto the fact that Kara’s a bit of a pushover and using that to further push the “pwecious sad woobie” fanon interpretation orz I’m really not looking forward to it...

So Choro tries to be a good brother again and offers to help Kara practice saying “no” to his brothers. However, he ends up getting sidetracked haha :P I find it interesting that Kara actually can’t recognize Choro’s caricatures of the others, even with each one’s more obvious attributes (”horse races” and “boobs” for Oso, “cats” and “killing you all” for Ichi, “baseball” and “BOEH” for Jyushi) mentioned. It makes me wonder, does Kara view and identify his brothers differently from how Choro (and the audience) does? If that’s the case, then how does he view and identify them? ...Or maybe Choro’s caricatures just too exaggerated for him haha

In the end, though, they go and tell the brothers Kara’s true feelings on the matter. And in a very nice moment, the brothers actually backed off once they knew that Kara didn’t actually like being asked what to do (they even said, “Why didn’t you tell us that you wanted us to stop?”), recognized that they really did keep asking him because they knew he wouldn’t say no, and sincerely apologized for it and promised not to do it anymore. Despite what fanon tends to say, the brothers really do care for Kara after all. I’m very glad that’s the case ;v;

...and then the others proceed to make Choro take Kara’s place as the errand boy :P Choro angrily protests, asks for Kara’s help... and Kara refuses and leaves him to fend for himself with a “Good luck~” PFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. Of all times for Kara to decide to say “no”... I guess no good deed goes unpunished when your name’s Matsuno Choromatsu :P

This was a good skit! A good Choro, good Suiriku interaction, the brothers proving fanon wrong... What’s not to love? :’)

The second skit, “New Employee Totoko”, is exactly what it says on the tin - in an office AU, Totoko is the newly hired employee, with Totty being her superior. The skit is already interesting to me because of Totty having the role of the boss/leader/department head in this skit; he doesn’t usually take on these roles IIRC. It fits the ambitious side of his personality though, so I’m not complaining :) He’s also taking his job really seriously in this skit, and certainly acts like how you’d expect a boss/leader/department head to act. It ends up making him a pretty good tsukkomi to Totoko’s antics :P

Speaking of Totoko, she was pretty neat here too! For one thing, her hairstyle as a newbie employee is really nice ;v; It’s her first day working in Akatsuka Tradings, but already she’s causing problems for her superior - first off, she won’t come over when Totty calls her over to his desk. Her excuse is that nobody told her that that’s what she had to do, so she didn’t do it :P Then Totty gives her a document to work on, which he tells her should be finished before lunch - but she doesn’t finish it at all by then, her excuse being that she hasn’t used the programs before, hasn’t done this sort of computing before, etc. Totty ends up having to do the work himself. Then, since Totty did her work for her, Totoko ended up spending her office time updating her social media and sleeping on the job... Again she uses her inexperience as an excuse... Yeah, Totoko’s not exactly the ideal employee for anyone working as a department head :P

I wonder if I can say that I’d be like Totoko if I were in an office setting? :P Again I’m a NEET so I don’t have any job experience... But if my memories of school, college, the two-week internship I had when I was in college, etc. are anything to go by, I know I’d be utterly useless when left to my devices and would always have to ask for help and instructions before I could be set on doing anything orz That, and I get distracted easily, I lose motivation easily, I stay up late... Yeah, Totoko is rather relatable here as well and I’m not proud to admit it orz

Totty ends up having to give Totoko a stern talking to, saying that since she’s new he’ll do his best to help her, but she’s still gotta put in the work herself. They agree to work hard, their conversation ends on a good note, Totty shows off his own version of Kara’s bishie eyes...

...and at the end of the day, Totoko quits her job :P Though Totty begs her to stay, and after his begging she says she’ll stay and even starts saying these cheesy, so-cliche-that-they’re-clearly-bullshit lines about how she’ll do a good job from now on... And then she ditches her job without saying goodbye :P Totty’s very upset about this. Ichiko and Jyushiko (?!) showing up and proving to be better employees doesn’t really help matters either, and it proves at the end that Totty won’t accept “uggos” and wants to work with a cute girl like Yowai-kun :P Ah, classic Totty

And finally, the last skit, “Dubbingmatsu-san”. A couple of unknown people who do unknown work in the Osomatsu-san anime enter a lavishly decorated room filled with food, comfy sofas, and pretty girls in bikinis. What’s all this for? It’s to receive the sextuplets, who are coming in to dub the anime of course! The sextuplets enter wearing various things to conceal their identities to the public - each one increasingly ridiculous than the last - and after a few minutes’ rest, they start to read and practice their lines before they start recording. And during practice, it never seems to be good enough...!!

It becomes clear that this skit actually isn’t about the boys at all - it’s a meta piece about their seiyuu, with the boys kinda-sorta acting as the main six seiyuu’s avatars instead of being themselves. Or at least, that’s how I like to think of this skit :P There are references to seiyuu having to take care of their voices - the boys have humidifiers with them to keep their vocal chords working, and even have back-up surgery implants for their throats in case the worst happens! 

And then the boys start practicing their lines and beating themselves up for not meeting their own high standards - the part I really lost it was when Totty yelled, “What did I go study abroad for?!”, which is a reference to Miyu Irino going abroad earlier this year to pursue his theatre studies. It makes me wonder now if the stuff the others were saying while they were beating themselves up were references to their own seiyuu themselves?? Meanwhile Ichi’s/Jun’s just practicing his stabbing skills. Good job Ichi/Jun Also can we please exploit Miyu Irino’s English skills in S2 already

Then recording’s about to begin - with the boys completely naked of course, can’t risk any clothes ruffling making any noise! - and after some chants, they start dubbing over the provided images. And apparently, they’re so good that they can ad-lib and almost change the script entirely, and it’d be okay! They didn’t even need to do any retakes - the boys/seiyuu are just that good!! They’re professionals!!!

It’s interesting to see Ososan’s (fictionalized and exaggerated for comedy’s sake) take on the recording process of anime. It certainly matches up with some of the things I remember reading in interviews with the seiyuu before. In the end, this skit is a silly and irreverent but affectionate love letter to the guys who bring our loveable six same shitheads to life. I can’t help but wonder how Sakurai/Nakamura/Kamiya/Fukuyama/Ono/Irino all felt while recording this skit. Were they embarrassed? Happy? A little proud? I hope someone asks about that skit either in an interview or in a post-Cour 1 commentary reel, like last season’s.

Finally recording ends, and the boys head home - each going home with a hefty sum of yen in one hand, a pretty bikini girl on one arm, and in each one’s personal private helicopter. I... am pretty sure this bit is an exaggeration, there’s no way anyone would actually go home in a private helicopter unless they’re that stinkin’ rich and famous :P But hey, the boys did a good job, they’re happy, the anime staff is happy, we get a quality anime because of everyone’s hard work, therefore everyone’s happy.

“Who would’ve thought such professionals were behind those shitty episodes that air on TV?” “Makes you respect them even more.”

So in conclusion, thank you to Sakurai & Nakamura & Kamiya & Fukuyama & Ono & Irino (& don’t forget Suzumura & Kokuryu & Endo & Saito & Ueda & Tobita & Inoue & Kujira & Yamashita &...) for everything that you do for this shitty anime!! \( ; v ; )/ It wouldn’t be the same without you, thank you for your hard work! ♥♥♥♥♥♥

All in all, this week’s episode was pretty great! I enjoyed it thoroughly and was invested all throughout. I think my favorites would be a tie between “Karamatsu and Brother” (surprisingly!) and “Dubbingmatsu-san” - on one hand, we have solid Suiriku and brotherly care on many sides; on the other we have meta and a silly but sweet nod to the professionals who make the anime come to life. But even “New Employee Totoko” is solid for the roles the characters play alone! So yes, all in all, this week was a good week, and I’m greatly looking forward to next week’s fare ^^

I’m actually really, really excited for next week because - HORROR(HOUSE)MATSU!!! While I’m not really big on the horror genre as a whole, I like the idea of throwing out favorite NEETs into scary situations. And a haunted house is perfect for it >:) The title is “Chibita’s Revenge”, so Chibita's definitely gonna have some sort of hand in all of the spooky shenanigans... Does he have friends on the other side?! :0

Aaaaah, next Matsu Monday can’t come soon enough! ♥

[hsj-scenarios]

Hello☆ Could I request a Class Trip AU with Keito? Whether it's fluffy or angst I leave my emotions in your hands.

Drabble AUs⎢Always Accepting

1 week is all he had ..

A week that would surely go by in a flash, he barely had any time to visit that coffee shop before his time in London came to an end. Oh how he hated it, it was nearly painful to him .. reunited with a childhood friend yet it was all cut short and ripped from him.

Okamoto Keito found himself back in his second home for a class trip, London U.K! By being back home, Keito didn’t expect much, apart from having a good time with classmates and reliving his childhood in this foreign country, he didn’t really imagine that he would also stumble upon old friends.

It all happened so fast, Keito didn’t have time to stop and say ‘hello’ or even knock on the glass window to grab your attention .. but he knew it was you. Keito could recognize you anywhere, it had to be you!

As Keito laid on his hotel bed, he almost had the idea of calling you but years had gone by, he didn’t have your number. He thought of maybe using social media, but even that being a great and easy way to stay in touch wasn’t of any help neither, again the years had separated you both and he had no idea what your social media usernames might be .. he could attempt finding you by Line, but God knows that would take more years than the ones that had gone by already.

And then, it was settled! Keito simply had to go back, at least one more time before leaving. He decided that tomorrow would be the day, it was a ‘free day’ for the class and they could all visit nearby places and shop if they pleased. Keito knew the area by memory, so finding the small coffee shop wouldn’t be problem at all .. however, the only concern at the moment would be, would you remember Okamoto Keito if he stood right before you in your shop?

“Are you excited?”“Are you nervous?”“What is she like?”“Is she cute?”“Has she ever visited Japan?”

The overwhelming and increasingly annoying bunch of questions came from Keito’s closest friends, Hikaru and Ryosuke. He was still bewildered as to why these two wanted to join him in this slightly personal matter but figured that he could indeed use some company, but his patience was running low and he was surely near regretting bringing them along.

“For Christ’s sake; will you two shut the hell up already? I’m not answering any damn questions, but yes .. I’m nervous.”, Keito could hear the two behaving like 12 year old girls walking behind him, muttering and chuckling to themselves, surely enjoying this rare occasion of a anxious and moody Keito having the guts to walk up to a girl, this was a sight they couldn’t possibly miss.

“By the way, can you morons walk by my side instead of behind me? You do realize you probably look like gossiping little girls ..”, oh, Keito was moody indeed and Ryosuke immediately took notice of his friends odd attitude.

“Oi! Come on now, Keito; what’s going on? Aren’t you supposed to be happy you’re finally walking up to a girl and maybe even getting laid—”

“Piss off, Ryosuke! Go rub off your overly dazzling playboy charm on someone else, I don’t need it; trust me ..”, and truth be told the man wasn’t lying, Keito had his own charm. He was a lot more quiet and reserved, shy at first but a lot more outspoken when comfortable enough around people. He certainly didn’t need any help in the dating department, Keito simply was a bit more picky when it came to the opposite sex.

“Oh; hear that, Ryosuke? Keito doesn’t need your overly annoying sex advice—”

“He didn’t say that, Hikaru ..”

“But that’s precisely what he meant, am I right?”, Hikaru slid an arm around Keito’s shoulders giving him a wide and mischievous grin while Ryosuke did nothing else but mimic Hikaru’s words under his breath, annoyed with the taller one.

Currently, the three walk the gloomy streets of London following Keito’s lead in search of a cozy coffee shop named ‘Climpson & Sons Cafe’.

“Honestly, guys; pipe down please .. you’re ruining my mood.”, and Keito wasn’t lying, he was already nervous and having doubts about visiting the coffee shop. He really could use some actual encouragement and not constant teasing from his two best friends ..

“Wow, is it really that serious? Who is this girl?”, Ryosuke inquired with genuine curiosity. It’s not that Ryosuke nor Hikaru didn’t take Keito’s intentions seriously, they just weren’t used to it. However, seeing Keito losing his cool and nearly turning pale with each step closer to the shop, they had to finally stop and ask.

“She’s just .. a childhood friend from school. She was kinda the only real friend I had when I moved here, I guess you could say she’s a childhood crush as well.”

Keito was as open as he could possibly be about the subject, he surely expected some sort of teasing but he was surprised to receive a few pats on the back and understanding gazes from Ryosuke and Hikaru. Though they found Keito’s shyness to be quite cute even for them, they couldn’t really tease the guy any more, to be honest, Keito was merely a tease away from backing away from the plan!

“Alright then; let’s get this mystery girl.”, just as Ryosuke and Hikaru were nearly about to pull Keito into continuing their walk, he didn’t budge, his anxiety was getting the best of him.

“Wait; don’t say it like that, guys! It’s .. it’s not as if I’m asking her on a date or anything, we’re here barely for a week in case you forgot. What the hell am I going to accomplish in that short amount of time? Plus what if she doesn’t even recognize me—”

“Keito, shut the hell up and walk!”

It was amazing what good teamwork and motivation could do, Keito was completely silenced in perfect unison by both Ryosuke and Hikaru. It was humorous at first, but neither of the two were willing to let Keito miss a chance of talking to a childhood crush due to anxiety.

“That one; that’s the coffee shop!”, not too far long and Keito had finally led the way to the coffee shop, the small establishment wasn’t crowded at all. It had movement inside but was decent, people went in, got their coffee and headed out, some stayed sitting inside.

“Is she there? Can you see her?”, Hikaru asks hurriedly, it wasn’t until Keito looked behind him that he noticed how both Hikaru and Ryosuke seemed to think they were in a mission to help Keito. They peaked over the corner of the street as if no one else could see them and seemed to have a plan of their own, Keito could’ve easily laugh upon the sight but his nerves were still getting the best of him.

“Alright, Okamoto. This is what we’ll do; we’re all going to enter—”

“Ryosuke, why do we all have to go? You don’t even know her—”

“Because why the hell not? Hikaru is nosey and I want to meet her, what’s so wrong with that? Anyways, as I was saying—”

“Ryosuke, just shut up. If anything goes wrong I’d like to be embarrassed by myself and not with you two as witnesses .. I’m going in.”

Keito did have a good point. However, although Ryosuke said Hikaru was the nosey one, he missed to include himself too. Neither of them would be at peace with letting Keito go alone!

“Oh, come on, Keito! We’ll just introduce ourselves and leave, it’s that quick and easy ..”

“Ryosuke, you can’t even speak English; what are you even going to say?”, Keito was beginning to become impatient, they just weren’t making it easy on him.

“What do you mean I can’t speak English?! I can get by just fine, besides; it’s not like it takes a full year of learning English to just introduce myself ..”

“Uh; no, Ryosuke .. you think you can talk English, but you don’t.”, now Hikaru chimed in on whether or not Ryosuke was good in English, and although he wasn’t precisely terrible, this wasn’t the subject at hand yet both Hikaru and Ryosuke took the topic a little bit too serious.

“Well then, while you two discuss who’s better in English, I’ll be walking away—and don’t follow me!”, Keito quickly took the opportunity and managed to escape the two bickering men behind, or at least for a moment he would. He obviously heard how they called his name and told him to wait, but before they could catch up Keito was already in front of the shop and opening the doors.

There was no space for doubts and anxiety, Keito had to push aside his fears and move on. Not many seconds went by before he finally found what he came for, you …

“Thank for coming, have a nice day, sir!”, you happily waved goodbye your previous customer and moved to the next. There was the usual line that went by quickly, everything was flowing smoothly and you even had some of your favorite local customer stop by. However, your next customer wasn’t as local, but he was without a doubt your favorite, or at least today he most definitely became your best one!

“Keito? .. Keito Okamoto?!”, before he could even nod to your flabbergasted question, you were already running your way around the cash register and crashing into his body in a tight embrace, perhaps the tightest he has ever been giving. But little did he care about that, Keito was no stranger to your bone crushing hugs .. if anything he missed them.

It had been years since Keito had last since you, wrapping his arms around you came as natural as it could be for him. Hugging in public wasn’t a thing back in Japan, much less if it involved the opposite sex, but to him there was never any weirdness about these embraces with you. It felt almost like home to him, a flashback to his childhood and warm. Your scent was sweet and feminine yet peculiarly strong, he enjoyed it nonetheless. It was a mix of sweet perfume, maybe body lotions and shampoo, everything fruity with a strong scent of fresh coffee. Absolutely invigorating to his senses ..

“I’ve missed you .. so much, Keito.”, your words were muffled due to the way your arms were draped around his shoulders, but he caught every word perfectly bringing a smile to his lips.

Seeing Keito once again brought so many memories, good and bad, but mostly, he brought some of the greatest childhood memories you could possibly think of. Probably unbeknownst to him, he made a great impact in your life while growing up .. you were overwhelmed by the fact that he had come back, you weren’t sure what was of his life once he went back to Japan.

Once you broke the hug and finally took a better look at him, you saw that he had grown into a man. You remembered Keito with short spiky hair and a thin frame, his features always giving away his strong Japanese ethnicity with his almond eyes and thick accent, back then he barely grasped English. But right now before your eyes, the Keito you had known was gone, at least physically!

Long locks of jet black hair framed his chiseled facial features, he was tall and his body was built in a healthy frame, slim yet you could tell he didn’t get this frame by sitting around and eating potato chips all day. Keito wore dark clothing and even though he was giving off a somewhat dark and mysterious vibe, behind his dark hair and long black coat there was that warmth within his eyes that you knew so well and grew fond of.

“It’s been a while, ____. How’s life going for you?”, a gentle smile tugs his lips as he speaks, he always spoke so softly and still, Keito hadn’t quite grown out of his tiny shell, he was shy but always had a smile on his face, well spoken also.

“Life’s been treating me good—oh, hold on! Morning, gentlemen.”, for some reason Keito decided to casually look over the customers who’d just walked in and you greeted, and good thing he did anyways!

It was both Ryosuke and Hikaru standing in the middle of the café exchanging quick waves and idiotic grins on their faces, to you they seemed like cheerful customers, to Keito; well .. they looked downright ridiculous!

“Uh .. can you give me a second? I know them and they’re not actually here for coffee ..”, a bit confused you allowed Keito to walk over to who you assumed to be his friends, he didn’t seemed too pleased or happy to see them, but they sure looked the opposite.

In that moment you took the opportunity to take some orders while Keito was busy, from the quick glances you took from his direction they all seemed to be in a muttering discussion, you couldn’t help but find the sight quite amusing. You had no idea what they were talking about since they were basically whispering to each other, but his friends seemed to be having a little bit of fun with Keito, or rather they were making fun of him!

After your last customer you finally had a breather and could take a break, meanwhile Keito was making his way towards you and with his friends following behind this time.

“These two wouldn’t get off my back about it and they insisted on wanting to meet you, so .. this is Hikaru Yaotome and Ryosuke Yamada, and you guys, this is ____.”, Keito introduced the two boys in English and in return they greeted you back by extending their hands to shake yours in which you gladly took.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you! I’m not very good at it but I can give my Japanese a try ..”, taking them pleasantly by surprise, you spoke in an accented Japanese, though it was a simple phrase, it had been quite some time since you’d practice.

“Eh?! Since when did you know Japanese? That’s was really good!”, out of all of them, Keito was the most delighted one.

“I took classes a little after you left England, I remembered how at times English was difficult for you and I thought it wouldn’t hurt understanding the language, I should’ve taken classes sooner though. I mainly learnt because of you!”, again you spoke fluently yet with an accent, it was actually rather cute. To the three of them it only mattered the effort you put in speaking and how well you did it, after all none of them were expecting you to talk with them in their native language.

“Have you ever visited Japan?”, Ryosuke was the one to ask, of course though he had no problem in his sentence, his English was thicker but not broken, still you could tell he wasn’t used to speaking it. However, efforts are always appreciated!

“Nope! Sadly, I have not. I’ve been meaning to, but studying and working here have me both by the neck. I barely have time for fun anymore honestly, is it your first time visiting London? I know Keito isn’t new here though ..”, a light chuckle left Keito’s lips as you widely smiled at him, quickly he translated your words since they surely didn’t understand half your sentence. Although you were fairly decent in Japanese, some sentences were better off spoken in English.

The four of you made short conversation, in between English and Japanese you learned a little bit about Ryosuke and Hikaru, it all mostly consisted it talking about food and what places to visit while they had free time. The two were quite funny, the funniest one being Hikaru, he seemed like the jokester and Ryosuke the more sarcastic one, leaving Keito to be the reserved and shy one. It made sense as to why Keito would be around them, each of them have a certain quality that fits well with Keito’s way of being. In the end, you liked them a lot!

Deep inside you wish Keito would stay a little longer and to your surprise, he granted your wish. Ryosuke and Hikaru bid their goodbyes and before leaving, Ryosuke said something only for the three of them to hear in which left Keito timidly smiling to the floor and the two grinning from ear to ear, you could only wonder what they’re teasing him about while you waved the two off.

“You have really nice friends, I totally approve!”, with a cheesy smile you gave him a thumbs up, earning yourself an amused chuckle and that familiar smile of his with a twinkle in his eyes.

The more you looked at him, the less you saw that introverted teenager he used to be. Keito indeed showed some type of shyness, but there’s something new about him, he seemed more composed and less scared, a posture that reflected how well built he was, Keito had become without a doubt, a man ..

“That’s great cause I was actually planning on keeping those two as friends for awhile longer, but I wasn’t sure so that’s mainly why I’m here.”, he joked, though he was being playful, he was somewhat relieved you liked them. Keito more than anyone knows you have a keen eye for good and bad people, though he knows well his friends, a little bit of approval from you wouldn’t hurt.

“Well then, want to sit down and catch up? I’ll get us some coffee if you want, too!”, to your offer Keito happily obliged. While you took it upon yourself to personally make both coffees, he went ahead and spotted a small table for two in a quiet corner by the window.

Seated and relaxed, Keito soon began to have a liking for the small shop. If this were a café down in Shibuya, Ryosuke and himself would surely be visiting often, out of all his friends Keito spent a good amount of time with Ryosuke, whether it was by playing videos games together or eating brunch, the two often find themselves searching for new restaurants and cafés; and this would be an ideal one!

The place was decorated in a minimalist way, white walls and wooden interior, black chalk boards with the menu or doodles as decoration, some orange stool chairs to make a contrast. It was cozy and friendly, the place was filled with the aroma of fresh brewed coffee and customers chatting away. Ultimately, it was a warm place to spend a morning in!

“Here you go; a cappuccino for me and black coffee for you, hopefully just like you used to like it.”, you returned with a smile and two cups of coffee as promised. Luckily, Keito still had his coffee black and with one or two spoons of brown sugar, a foolish grin began forming on your lips to the sight of him enjoying his cup. The memories of your teenage years coming to mind and recalling how Keito didn’t like coffee at first, but thanks to you he slowly, but surely, fell into the caffeine addict train.

“Remember how you used to pep talk me on why I shouldn’t drink coffee? Literally every morning walking to school mostly consisted of you explaining why it was so bad .. now look at you, still drinking it black and bitter as shit.”

“Shut up! I still highly believe it was bad for you; or have you forgotten how hyper and jittery you got before the first period could even start? At some point I already had a bottle of water for you to chug it down and calm down!”, and how true that was. You were only a 13 year old girl drinking coffee and consuming too much caffeine and sugar, it’s a miracle you made it out of high school without your tiny body crashing at any given moment. That would be mostly thanks to Keito and his bottles of waters though!

“Yet, here you are; drinking the cup of coffee I made you in my work place! But enough coffee talk, I want to know what’s up with you. What brings you again to London?”, genuine interest and curiosity reflected upon you, making Keito ponder for short seconds, there was no point in lying or hiding anything, especially not from you.

“Want to hear the truth?”, his odd question sparked further curiosity on you, and raising an intrigued yet skeptical eyebrow, you nodded for him to continue.

“Well, actually .. I don’t really belong in this class I’m with, I’m not supposed to be here. Hikaru somehow managed to get me into this trip, apparently I’m a cousin who just found out he was in this specific class ..”

“Are you being serious?! You really scammed your way into London?”, you had to admit, you were shocked at Keito’s actions but impressed nonetheless. They guy had indeed grown up!

“Dead serious.”, Keito reassured, a mischievous smile curving his lips to his own explanation. Still, as smoothly as he explained his reasons, he wasn’t so confident about the idea back home, not in the least. But that’s a little detail he rather keep to himself for now.

“Alright then; so what’s the real reason? If you’re not even in that class, why did you come? You couldn’t possibly miss tea and crackers that much, Keito ..”, you teased, earning yourself a flushed smile, but this time, momentarily his features became a bit more serious before sheepishly chuckling. He was nervous ..

“Well, it’s kinda weird if I say out loud, but .. I came because I was hoping I could see you again.”, his voice didn’t betray him and break, but it’s on the verge, not by tears or fear; it was the mere anxiety that washed over him as he spoke. It felt like subtle weight had been lifted off his shoulder, although, he wasn’t aware that it bothered him that much until it was time to speak.

However, you in your place felt a mixture of shock and flattery. The confession leaving you quite taken aback but in a good way; wonderful if anything! Surely you expected something like ‘I came because I missed London’ or something along the lines of ‘I just wanted to show my friends where I grew up’, but most definitely not that he came to see you .. I mean; how many times has any guy done that before? No one came to mind.

“You came .. to see me? But .. how did you know where to find me?”, you asked somewhat timidly, yet with curiosity rising as the conversation progressed. This might turn into a really good reunion between childhood friends ..

“I didn’t know in fact. It was mere luck I guess, our group was exploring the area and when I walked passed this café, I saw you. Not trying to get sappy here but, I’m really really happy to see you again, ____.”

A familiar sensation began to bloom within you, it felt warm yet accelerating, the rhythm of your heart started to speed up, feeling it pound faster as the warmth within your belly and cheeks flowed, you knew you were probably madly blushing, but the fluttering warmth was somewhat new to you. You were no stranger to getting flushed, however, this feeling made you lightheaded. You were flattered, but can flattery make you feel like you’re floating? Is flattery this blissful?

Naturally, a smile was upon your lips, a sudden shyness taking over, leaving you unable to properly look at Keito, it was bizarre but in a way, you were expecting such reactions. In a way, you wanted to feel like this ..

“I’m really happy to see you as well, Keito.”

25 minutes was all the time you had to talk and catch up with Keito, but time wasn’t spent in vain ..

“Ok, but remember that one time a guy in school called me a ‘chink’ and how you ‘accidentally’ bumped into him and spilt your coke all over him? That’s when I knew it was probably best for me to keep you as a friend.”

15 minutes had passed well spent, between coffee and laughs, you both went down a path of memory lane. Keito within time had broken out of his shy shell and was as talkative as ever, he remembered every last bit of high school with you. He brought up even the not so fun and memorable ..

“Hey, no one calls my friend a chink and thinks they’re getting away with it!”, and that was indeed, a fact.

“Wanna know what I thought of you when I first met you?”, Keito’s playful smirk upon his own question led you to assume it would be something you weren’t expecting, nonetheless you were curious and nodded for him to continue.

“I thought you were messing with me when you first approached me .. you were a tiny bit bossy, outspoken and scary—”

“Scary?! Really, Keito? I only had a few hot pink strands of hair, how scary is that?”, you were bemused, still, the confession was quite amusing as ridiculous as it sounds.

“It wasn’t the hair! It was mostly the way you dressed, really tomboyish and back then you didn’t have many friends neither; at least I never saw you with a group of girls .. not even boys considering how rough you were.”, he then chuckles upon your reaction.

“Oh come on; I looked really cool with those camo pants and black chucks! Besides, I never clicked with anyone, everyone was so stuck up and superficial. I guess that’s why high school was so easy for me .. I didn’t need anyone.”

High school wasn’t that difficult for you, but it wasn’t memorable, or at least you’d wished you had the chance to experience it like others did. Friendships, crushes, dating, school games, activities or even prom .. but it just didn’t happen. After Keito left your days changed, you lost a friend and partner, things were dull and less exciting. You didn’t have a need to wake up every morning and take the longest walk to school, Keito was gone and in a way, he took a tiny part of you with him ..

“You do know you made my life here enjoyable, right? No one clicked with you, but you clicked with me .. I still don’t know why you got stuck with me, but I’m glad you did, ____. You kinda taught me not to take shit from anyone and be kind to others regardless of how they look like. To be honest, I miss you and I don’t think I realized how much until right now. I’ve met many people, yet none like you. There’s no spark in the people I meet, everyone’s so reserved and don’t speak their minds as they should .. everyone’s pretty much boring.”, Keito confessed, he was rather passionate when speaking and reflected a type of frustration upon the subject, realizing he was right.

Now, as he lifted his gaze from the cup of coffee and looked at you, he saw glistening eyes staring back. Keito had never expressed how he felt about you during those high school years, no one had. Though you had people that appreciated you dearly and loved you as well, perhaps Keito’s words were the ones you needed the most. A simple reassurance that you did everything right with him, that you succeeded in making things easier for him .. you were happy.

However, Keito deeply felt that there was so much more he needed to say yet time was getting shorter. At any giving moment you’d be called back to work and he’ll eventually go back to Japan .. emotions were being reawakened, sensations were being felt and there was little to no time left.

Keito always believed you were the perfect contrast to him, you brought the best in him with your spunky attitude breaking most of his fears when living in London. You were the outspoken and outgoing one while he was shy and reserved, and odd pair yet it all went so perfectly well. He missed you and was clueless about how to make this moment change, he had no idea as to how to stop time or go back and change fate .. he simply wanted more time.

“Keito, if you had stayed .. do you think anything would have changed between us?”

It was as if you had just broken and said that one question that needed to be asked, so much had been said but there was still something being kept quiet, a type of tension between each other. Keito was confused but wasn’t naive, as best as he could, he answered.

“Yes .. or at least I hoped it would. My 13 year old self would greatly agree, too.”, he smiles, a gentle smile, one that so easily stole one from your lips and relaxed you.

“I wish my 13 year old self knew that and didn’t waste—”, time was up, before you knew it your boss was calling you back, still with a sentences hanging by your tongue and feeling how your heart sunk in the moment.

It was a time where for the first time Keito felt incredibly hopeless, almost useless upon not being able to regain time or give you more so you’d stay and he wouldn’t have to leave. He painfully watched as you told your boss you’d be there in a minute, feeling like he didn’t have any grasp of seconds or minutes, it was as if you were slipping away from his hands even though you were still sitting before him .. but it wasn’t any different, in front of him or not, time was up for the two of you.

“I have to go back—”

“Come with me to Japan!”, a sudden outburst, an idea Keito had put no thought into yet sounded ideal, it was an impulsive proposal.

His eyes pierced your surprised ones with desire, so much ambition and need, it nearly left you unable to decline .. it was hard, but someone had to be the bigger person and accept reality.

“If only things were that easy .. I have to take care of work and have yet to finish uni. I can’t quit my life here, not yet.”

Then it dawn on him, it was a preposterous idea and you were right. As much as it cost him to accept it, you had a life here and he had his back in Japan.

“It was worth a shot ..”, weakly, he smiled.

“A scammer and a risk taker, I like that, Keito!”, you joked earning yourself a chuckle from him. You always had a thing for making jokes when Keito wasn’t feeling so bright, today wouldn’t be an exception.

“Come on, let’s go outside before my boss figures I’m taking my sweet time.”, Keito could’ve simply stayed until you were done with work, but he wasn’t on vacation, he wasn’t good in sneaking out and being a ‘bad student’, but more so, this was a goodbye that sooner or later would happen.

No matter what he does or tries, it wouldn’t change the fact that you both lived in different countries. He understood you were adults living different lives, time was well spent today, but how he wished it never ended ..

“So, when do you go back to Japan?”

“In about a week or so, I’ll try and comeback before leaving .. I promise.”

The two of you stood by the shop’s entrance, silence coming in between the way, not entirely uncomfortable just odd. Again that feeling of something not being said lingering in the air, you both felt it deep within your skin and bones pushing you to each other yet neither knew what else to say .. perhaps it’s that no one wants to say goodbye, no one wants to say it first.

“Can I ask you something? Just to make sure before I go ..”, it was the quickest ‘yes’ you’d ever said, but you were trying to not take this last moment for granted.

“Just moments ago, did you .. confessed to me?”, a mischievous grin was upon his lips, gazing down on you with sweet eyes that made your skin burn and your face blush. You had taken the risk in confessing, just minutes ago you felt so brave by speaking so freely and now you were having certain doubts of your bravery.

Nevertheless, the secret was out and by the simple fact that he made you blush wouldn’t allow you to be less sincere!

“Only because you did, Okamoto! You were sleek; I’ll give you that—”, in a quick movement, you were embraced and being held, Keito’s arm surrounded your waist and a hand rested on your head pulling you closer.

“I can’t kiss you because if I do, this will be harder than it should be ..”, his soft voice vibrated against your hair, and his words pierced your chest sharply. A part of you wished he would take that risk, but in reality you had to understand and put yourself in his shoes, you stay .. he goes.

You did what was left to do, slipping your arms underneath his coat and closing your eyes, you finally hugged him back. It was a strong hold, longing and hard to break, it was comfortable and soothing, the way his arms had you close to him and how his cologne danced around your nose simply had you in rapture.

It felt like home ..

Slowly, Keito backed away just enough to hold your face within his hands, even while a frail smile curved his lips he had an adoring gaze upon you that could replace all the heartache you could possibly feel.

“I’m here only because of you and I will come back. I have no date, I don’t know what will happen after I leave .. but we will see each other soon.”, it was a promise to himself, a goal.

“Call me whenever you need me, or even if you don’t, still call me. If I’m sleeping or in school just call I don’t care—”

“Keito, I got it! I’ll explode your phone with calls as much as possible if it makes you that happy.”

“It absolutely would!”, a chuckle escaped your lips seeing his enthusiasm. With your face still in his hands, Keito slowly leaned in and bestowed a kiss upon the corner of your lip, a rush of excitement creeping as his lips almost graced yours. Yet, you felt no need to lose your mind over it, it was calming and warm .. it felt like a promise had been sealed between both.

And then, each had to take a few steps back and break the embrace. But now, everything felt like it was said and nothing was left unspoken. Everything felt right ..

“Wanna know a secret?”, you quickly ask. A foolish and wide smile on your lips to the thought of what you were about to say, surely raising an eyebrow from Keito.

“I believe that soulmates always find a way back to each other. It doesn’t matter how or when, they just do .. promise to come back, yeah?”

Keito looked at you one last time, memorizing how you look right there where you stood, the way your eyes stared back at him and how you spoke seconds earlier. This was all he needed, a kiss would’ve been nice, but this moment was enough.

Maybe this wasn’t a coincidence or luck, perhaps fate. Perhaps soulmates do exist and this was a prime example ..

Keito found his childhood friend, his crush, the girl he always had living in the back of his memories, someone he believed he’d never meet again, yet here they are .. this was more than he could ask for.

“We’ll meet again, I promise ..”

[backwardsflow]

i may or may not make a better post about this sometime, but i want y’all to know that like

as a phenomenon that i’m experiencing second- or third-hand on tumblr, the dream daddy game is one of the most unpleasant things i’ve had to deal with on my dash. and listen, i despise sitewide generalizations as much as the next jaded tumblr user, but i’m gonna complain about this so buckle up.

the first issue i have with this game is relatively minor: i don’t care about the game itself. i am thoroughly unmoved by everything about it. the project is a dating sim (which i have a generic distaste for) about men with children (which i have a generic distaste for) dating other men with children (which i have a generic distaste for). i know it’s dumb, but one of the parts i enjoy so much about being a lesbian is that i don’t have to give a shit about anything that centers men. and you don’t get more man-centric than a video game about dudes dating each other. the inclusion of afab/binder options in the character creator and the canonically trans man character are nice, but far from new or revolutionary.

i have a sub-point here real quick. i have a few things on my xkit blacklist that are just minor annoyances for me. i put “ddadds” on there pretty quickly as a result of the previous point, but for some reason xkit is finicky about actually blocking it. this is just annoying for me, moving on.

like many others, i have an automatic distrust of ddadds thanks to the contributions made by the game grumps. rest assured that i’m well aware that the grumps only provided financial backing and voice acting for the game. i’m also well aware of the game grumps’ extensive history of racism, transphobia, and inability to take criticism. i’ve seen the screenshots of the one time arin apologized to fans on twitter, and i’ve seen countless people try to shrug off their constant use of stereotypes and punch-down humor. i watched the grumps for several years of my life, from the end of jontron’s involvement through to the rebirth of guest grumps. they have a well-documented cycle of trying to avoid sensitive topics before inevitably falling back on stereotypes and shock humor. i feel that this topic has been written about enough without my input.

so the game is released and it’s good, for a dating sim game. i’m assuming. again, i have no intentions on playing the game or watching anyone else play it. but just when i think i can sit back and let my blacklist do the work of making me forget about ddadds, things start to heat up among the fans. some unfinished files relating to a planned/scrapped joke ending about a cult surfaces and people begin to panic. many people find the unused ending to be a cruel retraction of the otherwise wholesome mlm romances in the game. this is where things start branching out beyond the limits of my blacklist.

those on tumblr who are more inclined to quick judgement dropped the game and its fandom immediately, citing this cult ending as malicious intent from the creators. i expect that everyone reading this has a working knowledge of the stereotypical “”tumblr fandom”” response to media like this - something bad surfaces, fandom freaks out and labels the media as “””problematic”””, and the creators and anyone who still enjoys the media are shunned off the platform. this stereotype of how fandoms function on tumblr is inaccurate and most widely circulated on twitter in my experience. suffice it to say that most of those on my dash nowadays are more reserved than this narrative would suggest. however, that doesn’t mean my dash was spared the snap judgments or hot takes.

instead, what seemed like a tidal wave of backlash flooded my tumblr experience, both in direct reference to the ddadds “discourse” and in general against the stereotype of the tumblr fandom that demands perfect and flawless media. let me tell you, from my perspective, this wave of snap backlash is just as exhausting to watch play out as any of the horrible tumblr dramas i’ve lived through (homestuck and steven universe come to mind). the reasoning here is that it is unreasonable to expect creators to make perfect media, and especially hypocritical to expect perfect media from independent minority creators. being harshly critical of works like ddadds is undesirable because of its supposed chilling effect on the market for other minority creators. i’m getting about as tired of writing this as i’m sure you are of reading it, but suffice to say that posts about “tumblr fandom” strawmen are more readily available on reddit if that’s what i wanted to see.

if that wasn’t enough, a smaller noticeable aftershock emerged of tumblr and twitter users arguing against the second wave of ddadds backlash. these reactionary posts attempt to take a more center approach, advocating against both harsh purging of “problematic” creators and uncritical glorification of flawed media. by this point, more than anything i just want to stop hearing about this on my dash.

you see, this particular area of discourse boils down to a question of “how much criticism is reasonable for a piece of media?” or even “what is the most ethical way to approach media criticism?” these questions are somewhat of a sore spot for me nowadays, thanks to social media’s promotion of over-simplified morality. media criticism is kinda my thing, so seeing answers to these questions endlessly proposed and torn down without time for full consideration just irritates me to no end.

here’s what i have to say on how to handle these situations moving forward. it is always healthy to consume media critically. but doing so means developing a nuanced understanding of the media and its creators. consuming media pessimistically, seeking out flaws in order to discredit the work, is no more critical than refusing to see any flaws at all. media criticism takes time and effort, but that’s the only functional way for an individual to judge a work without succumbing to an increasingly-exhausting cycle of social media hivemind.

what i’m trying to say is: please for the love of god - think for yourself and stop arguing so much online. 

sorry for writing so much, i got carried away. stay in school, don’t send anon hate, hope you have a great day.

[thetravelingmama]

100 Things about your Mom.

Hi Chi. I’m back! All better and cured. I’m feeling like my old self again, energy and everything back. Like my doctor said today: if it’s working, don’t change it. That being said, let’s do something fun! I saw this weird list of questions and said: Game on!

1: What random stranger has had the biggest impact on your life? A Dad at a beach playing with his son. He made us made the decision to start a family.

2: What achievement are you proud of but most people would consider silly or weird? I refuse to “act my age”.

3: What period in history had the best fashion? The 50’s!

4: What silly or funny thing makes you afraid or creeps you out? Clowns.

5: How quickly do you jump to conclusions about people? I try not to, but the reality is that I get “vibes” from people, instantly. I’m never wrong, as much opportunities I give.

6: How would the world change if super heroes and super villains actually existed? I think heroes and villains DO exist.

7: What would be your strategy for surviving an apocalyptic epidemic? I already hoard medicine, movies and booze.

8: What is the most important change that should be made to your country’s education system? Equality, Empathy, Values and Gender Perspective are things that need to be taught. I also believe that a University Diploma should be mandatory. No school? Jail.

9: What is something you think you will regret in the future not starting now and what is something you already regret not starting sooner? I regret not becoming a Mom sooner. I’ll regret it most in the future.

10: What part of your culture are you most and least proud of?

Proud of our strength of character. Least proud of living in a status quo.

11: What's the worst and best thing about being female? Best thing is having a baby, carrying it inside your body. That experience is wonderful. The worst is definitively the inequality, how people treat you different in many ways and what they expect on how you “should behave”. I also believe there are many double standards when it comes to us.

12: If you could put your brain in a robot and live indefinitely, would you? Not for a gazillion dollars.

13: If you could replace the handshake as a greeting, what interesting new greeting would you replace it with? High fives are awesome.

14: Who’s the worst guest you’ve had in your house and what did they do? I’m glad to report that I never let people that I don’t truly trust or know at my house.

15: When does time pass fastest for you and when does it pass the slowest? Fastest: when I have a lot of work and a close deadline. Slowest: when I had to come up with advertising campaigns. I HATED starting on a presentation with all the passion in the world until I had an idea that worked. Then, it just was a breeze. Until that jackpot happens, time is torture.

16: What always sounds like a good idea at the time but rarely is? Telling someone the truth. Sometimes it just turns out that they can’t handle or understand it. Another great one? Getting drunk and knowing that no one is going to take care of the baby next morning. Huge mistake.

17: Are humans fundamentally different than animals? If so, what makes us different? We’re very much alike, I realized it after I gave birth. I just think we have the burden of emotions and logic to deal with, that’s all. I envy them: I’d love to function just on instincts!

18: What pictures or paintings have had a big impact on you? Guernica inspired me to paint. The Marilyn Diptych inspired me to design. At the Moulin Rouge is one of my favorites, just because.

19: What movie or book character are you most similar to? That’s a tough one. I identify a lot (with absolutely no clue of why) with Mia Wallace’s lust for life and her disregard for rules; Marla Singer’s I don’t care attitude and confusion. I’m also a mix of Santino and Michael Corleone when I’m either strategizing or just extremely angry.

20: You can broadcast one sentence to every TV channel and radio in the world and have it translated to each country’s language. What sentence do you say? “What doesn’t offend you might offend someone else. Calm down and let people do and say what they want.”

21: What fact are you really surprised that more people don't know about? That research does not mean that you trust instantly whatever you find online. Reliable sources exist for a reason.

22: What are you completely over and done with? Putting the well-being of others before mine.

23: What memory do you just keep going back to?

It depends on the day.

24: What’s the most immature thing someone can do? I believe that making a scene in public is just sign that you are emotionally and socially immature. From treating strangers badly for a stupid reason to arguing with your significant other in front of anybody is just a sign that you’re the problem.

25: What are you most passionate about and what do you wish you were more passionate about? Reading and writing.

26: What’s the best comeback you’ve ever heard?

“I’m growing a human inside me, what’s your excuse?” I said that. :P

27: Who haven’t you seen or talked to in a long time and hope they are doing okay? With Facebook that stopped happening years ago. I actually miss that feeling of wondering how my friends are. Although, there is one friend from college that disappeared. I sometimes wonder what happened.

28: Where is the last place you would ever go? If by last this means “and then you can die”, Tibet. I can’t fathom thinking about a place in this world not worthy about visiting.

29: What’s something that you’ve never been able to do well? Math and control myself when I am beyond furious.

30: Who is the humblest person you know?

Any person who will do something for free just to help another human being.

31: What is the silliest reason someone you've known has completely lost it? The stuff people write online.

32: What is quite possibly the most annoying thing ever? People who judge others on based on what they wear, own, drive or live in. I also am starting to despise people who post every single goddamn second on social media. My social media algebra is simple: entertain, yes; Report, no.

33: What do you wish people would stop asking you? Can I have free tickets?

34: What is the most unusual fear you have? Frogs and Roller Coasters.

35: What is your favorite TV show? Right now it’s Better Call Saul.

36: What’s the most ridiculous argument you’ve had? If it’s ridiculous, I’m totally ignoring the idea of talking about it. Silence is golden.

37: What’s the biggest lesson life has taught you? My happiness is way more important than anything else in the world.

38: What is increasingly becoming socially acceptable? Telling others how to act, talk, behave, think, write... I remember the days when people judged you in silence or behind closed doors. Thanks a lot, internet.

39: What’s the weirdest tradition your family has? It’s not a tradition per se, we just talk really loud when we’re together, and all at the same time.

40: If you could choose anyone living or dead, who would you choose to lead our country? It would be a mix of Obama, Lady Gaga, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Ed Snowden.

41: What app on your phone do you wish you used more? Tabata.

42: Who was the most power mad person you’ve met? Insert advertising client name here.

43: What world famous monument do you have no interest in visiting? The Tower of Pisa. Next.

44: What is something that you think people are only pretending to like or are deluding themselves into liking? Wine.

45: What joke went way too far? Anything that relates to a pregnancy announcement.

46: What are some of the telltale signs that a guy is creepy? If a man tries to control how I talk, behave, dress, manage a situation or just even decides something for me. If he thinks I need his approval for anything.

47: What is your very first memory? Walking around the beach.

48: What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve said or done around someone you dated? It’s not embarrassing but it did catch me off guard: I made a point in my life to never say “I love you” to a man first until I was sure that it was going to mean something. One day, when I was starting to date your Dad, I just blurted it out. He laughed and said “You said it first!”

49: Who is your favorite actor or actress? Right now it’s Bryan Cranston.

50: What doesn’t exist but you desperately want / need it? A pill that eliminates sadness or anger instantly.

51: What are you most grateful for? My child.

52: If you could hear every time someone said something good about you or something negative about you, which would you choose? Neither. Not interested.

53: What do you wish you could re-live? Just for fun, my twenties. Had the best time.

54: What’s something that you recommend everyone trying at least once? Massages.

55: Do you prefer being warmed when you’re too cold or being cooled when you’re too hot? Warmed.

56: What sentence can you say that makes total sense now but would seem insane 20 years ago? “Do it, don’t wait.”

57: How decisive or indecisive are you? Extremely decisive. I’d rather go out in flames, always.

58: What’s something from your childhood that used to be common but now is pretty rare? I used to play outside unsupervised and came back home when I was supposed to. I also drove my grandpa’s car lots of times while sitting in his lap. Now he would get thrown in jail, I guess.

59: If you were an action figure, what accessories would you be sold with? A bottle of Vodka, books, beach items and lipstick.

60: What weird smell do you really enjoy? Gasoline and the streets of New York City.

61: What do you like that is traditionally considered masculine? Boxing, hard liquors, swearing, dark sense of humor.

62: What’s something you learned recently that you really should have already known? Expectations are resentments in the making.

63: What’s a simple mistake you made that had dramatic consequences? I should have been honest with someone without worrying about what could happen next.

64: What’s the best piece of advice someone has given you? You’re not responsible for how other people feel, it’s their problem to handle.

65: What do you think people automatically wrongly assume about you when they look at you? That I’m delicate, maybe?

66: Looking back on your life, what have you done that has given you the most satisfaction? Besides from being a Mom, having a successful company.

67: If everything was quantified, what life stats would like to see for yourself? The happy vs sad moments.

68: What do you really wish you knew when you were younger? That I am way more stronger than I thought.

69: When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? I think it was watching Dave Chapelle or Joe Rogan on Netflix.

70: What do you wish you had more time for? Being with my child when she grows older. I hope to be alive when she gets married or has a kid.

71: When was the last time you had a gut feeling about something that turned out to be correct? How about a time your gut feeling was wrong? My gut feelings are 99% on point. Sometimes it takes a second, sometimes years. I always end up being right.

72: What’s your curiosity killed the cat story? Your Dad. I ended up married and having you!

73: What areas in your life do you have high hopes for and what are those high hopes? I hope that our child decides to run our company and makes it even more successful.

74: Who was the most spoiled person you personally have met? Met a few. No comment.

75: What makes you feel old? When people don’t know a certain band or piece of music.

76: What’s your favorite non-drug / non-alcohol high? Traveling.

77: What’s the worst thing you’ve heard one person say to another person? It’s a tie between, “Sorry, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” and “Shut up and listen”.

78: What do you love about yourself? I’m starting to love my new sense of self. It gives me meaning.

79: What gets progressively weirder the more you think about it? Society in general.

80: What have you gotten too old to put up with? Being obligated to do something.

81: What event would you like to know the whole and complete truth about? JFK’s death. I also would love to read Mueller’s unredacted report.

82: What have you recently become obsessed with? Home delivery. Hi Jeff Bezos, I paid for your electricity this month.

83: What’s the biggest waste of money you’ve seen? Anything related to spending a lot on cars or jewelry. I’d rather travel, sorry.

84: What’s surprising about you? Most people don’t know that I can’t stand chick films.

85: When you were a kid what silly thing were you deathly afraid of? Dracula. Frank Langella, you made my childhood miserable for months.

86: Besides a raise or more vacation time, what’s the best perk a company can offer employees? Time to relax and focus. In Advertising, we’re expected to produce an insane amount of creative pieces in little time. Creativity and pressure don’t go well. Also, a short amount of time during the month to do the things we can’t during the weekend.

87: Where do you like going for walks? Lower East Side or Montmartre.

88: If you found out you would inexplicably fall down dead in one year, what would you change about your life? I would travel non stop so that I could drop dead somewhere cool.

89: What movie have you seen more than seven times? It might be a tie between Pulp Fiction and the Godfather Series.

90: Most people want to be wealthy for one reason or another. Why do you would want to be wealthy? To travel.

91: What’s the best thing you could tell someone to cheer them up when they are feeling down? My grandmother used to say “Someday, when you look back at a bad moment in your life, you’re gonna laugh about it”. Wherever she is, I know she looks down and reminds me in my dreams from time to time.

92: When you were a kid, what movie did you watch over and over again? Mary Poppins... and The Godfather 1 when no one was watching.

93: What’s the worst trait a person can have? No empathy.

94: If you could know one truth about yourself, history, the world, or even the universe, what truth would you want to know? Is someone out there?

95: What’s your favorite souvenir that you have? Our cheesy “Oia” sign. It reminds me of the best honeymoon in the world.

96: What would you do if someone left a duffle bag filled with $2,000,000 on your back porch? Buy a small apartment in NYC, buy another near the beach in Rincón. Leave the rest for Mía.

97: If everything in your house had to be one color what color would you choose? Black.

98: What would your warning label say if every person was required to have one? Don’t get her angry. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.

99: What weird childhood fear do you still kind of hold on to? Big waves.

100: What’s the most polarizing question you could ask your group of friends? That’s the funny thing about us. There is not one polarizing thing we could ask each other. We talk and share EVERYTHING in our lives. The good, the bad, the disgusting, the inappropriate. Even the things we are ashamed to admit or share. That’s true friendship.