#I’m a simple blogger with simple tastes

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

I still stand by most of this but having reread Dracula fairly recently I take it back, he’s a great character and far less one note than I remembered. Stoker gets a lot of mileage out of simply making him weird. And there’s an undeniable pettiness and volatility in how he fixates on the protagonists— therefore allowing them to defeat him! When if he would have just moved on elsewhere or retreated he would’ve likely survived.

My typical preference still is for a villain with intense emotional ties, something Dracula does not have. But he’s framed as almost a force of nature within the story, so I can accept it.

thoughts on the best villain archetypes, since you don't like my whiny crybabies lmao

Referencing this ask To be clear! I love crybaby villains, I just prefer them when they’re not going through moral dilemmas. Like again to bring up Phantom of the Opera: I love Erik regardless of his last minute come to jesus moment, not because of it. A big reason I do love the larger story is because his come to jesus moment is not through “the love of a good woman” as opposed to just a moment of self realization. But again, I’d still love him as a character even if he were rotten till the last moment.  I did give you a short list off the top of my head when you brought it up the other day. But let’s go in depth: Evil Queen:  Generally, I fucking love bitches in power. They’re often times very vain and very in control of their shit, to the point where that is their weakness. This usually ends in them spiraling and losing that carefully constructed demeanor. I define the queen aspect loosely, but they must be in charge of whatever is the story scope’s main institution. The appeal is equal parts aesthetic, power fantasy, and watching that inevitable Machiavellian spiral at the end. Examples: Cersei, Azula, Lady Macbeth, and more obscure but my favorite is Arianrhod in Snow Queen Cycle.

The Mentor: This type of villain tends to be overbearing, well spoken, volatile, and genuinely believing they’re in the right. The power imbalance is integral, and the initially positive relationship that later turns suffocating. (The latter aspect being why I prefer Louis and Lestat’s relationship in the film to the novel, there’s a longer span of time before Louis hates him.) And it usually— and ideally— ends in the protégée rising above their reach and eventually killing them. The appeal here lies in revenge fantasy, wanting nuanced portrayals of dysfunctional dynamics, and lmao I’ve just had some very messed up relationships, okay. Examples: Erik/Phantom of the Opera, Lestat, What The Darkling Could’ve Been.

Righteous Villains: This character type is often (and ideally) religiously motivated, but being consumed by any sort of ideological perspective is good enough. These are the evil priests, the political fanatics, the horribly devoted knights and warlords. They also need a position of institutional power at all, though they do not need to be at the top of the food chain, even within the scope of the story. I prefer these characters with a lot of tragedy or at least through a vaguely sympathetic angle, but pure evil is honestly fine too. It’s all extensions of the same trope imo. The appeal is more in seeing how dogmatic ideals can twist and ruin a person. And how institutions like the church can be wielded for selfish gain. Examples: Claude Frollo, Javert, Konstantin from the Winternight Trilogy.

I think saying which are the best archetypes is definitely subjective. But these are my favorites anyway. Other traits that I generally enjoy are: competence, style, humor, genuine ruthlessness, and a fundamental weakness or frailty. Villains are often powerful, and they can run the risk of being too perfect in their evilness. They need to ever make mistakes, be caught off guard, or have their choices blow up in their face. If they’re too in control of everything then it starts to become one note. My favorite part of villain arcs tends to be when they begin to unravel, and when they lose themselves over the course of the story. Pettiness can also be a fantastic trait. Like if they shoot themselves in the foot because they had to get back at someone. Or just the constant desire to fuck with the protagonists or have the last laugh, to the detriment of strategy.

Conversely, characters that have no emotional bonds, or regrets, or their own version of morals are also fundamentally uninteresting to me. If they’re just there to kill people, grimace, and ruin everyone’s day for #reasons, without any other defining characteristics... that’s boring. (Yes I like Dracula despite this, but I maintain that Dracula is, by far, the weakest part of Dracula) They need to be fleshed out characters that are actually believable as people. Send me “thoughts on___” to here my opinions on random things!

[what-even-is-thiss]

Quick and cheap filling vegetarian food (I’m going ovo-lacto for this)

Soup:

Dump some cans of stuff in a pot. Maybe some seasoning too. Pearl barley or rice may also be a good choice to bulk things out. With beans or legumes and some kind of grain you can make a whole protein. If that doesn’t appeal to you add some cheese or poached egg. Don’t add a lot of rice btw it will expand don’t turn your soup into a rice dish I swear to gosh

Quesadillas:

Basic idea for this is shredded cheese melted in between two tortillas warmed up on either side in a pan, in a microwave if you’re feeling extra depressed. But other stuff can be added. Salsa, pico, leftover tofu or beans, sliced peppers or onion. It’s a dish that’s as complicated or as simple as you want to make it.

Casseroles:

Dump a can of cream of mushroom or cream of potato soup on it. It’ll work itself out probably.

Scrambled eggs:

The most braindead way to cook eggs. You can even scramble them in the pan. Put stuff in it. I like putting fried tomatoes in it. Add enough mushrooms and cheese and you can feel your system clogging up in real time. Eat some toast with it to convince yourself that adding carbs makes it fine actually

Curry:

Wildly oversimplified term for basically most Indian food. It’s simpler to make than you think. The spices are the important part. The base of a lot of types of Indian food is onion, ginger, garlic, and tomato and then add spices and stuff to that. What stuff? Whatever. Spinach, potatoes, coconut milk, regular milk, even more tomatoes, lentils, beans, yogurt. Put it over rice probably. Use powdered onion and ginger-garlic paste and canned tomatoes when you’re tired. Probably look up some actual Indian YouTubers and bloggers to get more specific recipes than my stupid ass can provide.

Peanut noodles:

Cook some noodles. Probably ramen noodles. Melt some peanut butter on it and add soy sauce. Merry Christmas.

Melts:

Get a panini press so you never have to think again. Cheese, something else, bread, hot, eat. Add a sauce and some nicely grilled vegetables if you want to but tbh a midnight grilled cheese with tomato isn’t gonna be a gourmet meal. Just make it so you can finish crying.

Smoothie:

Frozen fruit and/or veggies and some kind of liquid. I usually use strawberry, mango, and soymilk. Maybe yogurt too idk. The worst part of this is cleaning the blender later but the actual process of making it is fast.

Pasta:

There’s more to life than just spaghetti and red sauce. Or so I’ve been told. You can use canned soups as a sauce sometimes if you reduce them a bit. I like butternut squash soup. Adding some cream cheese to sauces tastes better than it sounds and can fix your protein problem that you sometimes get with pasta dishes. Keeping a jar of pesto and some mushrooms in the fridge can make for a fast dinner when you need it.

Chili:

Get two different types of beans and some tomatoes and chili powder and whatever in a pot and let those bitches get to know each other and simmer while you stare off into space for a while. Maybe like 10-20 minutes idk it tastes good with sour cream

[earthtooz]

omgomg hi i literally love every single thing u post esp the dr ratio content we r getting recently (we are being ABSOLUTELY FED and i'm FERAL for ur characterisation of him)

if u dont mind sharing do u have any tips for new bloggers(?) tumblr writers(?) to grow platforms 😔😔 i myself have posted a couple of things but they aren't gaining much traction 😔

first of all, thank yew anon!! 🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♀️ much love, i’m very happy that you’re enjoying my dr ratio content because tbh… it’s not going to stop HAHAH he is here to stay.

second of all, i’ve been here for almost three years so i hope i have some good tips to share 😔 they are below the cut !!

everything on this list is targeted at gaining traction with likes and reblogs rather than focusing on your writing!! pls keep that in mind ;o

1. blog layouts and post layouts.

generally speaking, if a reader is scrolling through the tags, the first impression they get of your fic is how neatly it is laid out. a more aesthetically pleasing layout is always going to capture someone’s attention, regardless of the story.

take a scroll through the tags and maybe find inspiration (don’t steal layouts!) as to how some writers have arranged theirs. normally it incorporates a cute banner/picture with a/n’s or warnings.

also, this may just be personal taste, but don’t post your fic in small text. small text fics are the ones i get turned off the most because i… don’t want my eyes to hurt 😔😔 simple as that 😔😔 even if the synopsis sounds great, i want to see your story in full, not in tiny!!

2. write broader and more cliché tropes at first

i just wanted to reiterate again, this post is not to help you improve your writing quality (bc mine is still ass lol). from when i was still starting out on tumblr and trying to get a following, i think i focused quite a bit on writing tropes that i know everyone will enjoy.

these generally are like the cliché ones, like hurt/comfort, sleeping on the couch, being clingy or whatever, just fluffy stories that you find everywhere.

for example, in 2021, i wrote jujutsu kaisen headcanons of you sleeping on the couch and like… that fic is still getting notes to this day (to my chagrin). so the more cliché, or fluffier, the stories you write, the better.

(MINORS LOOK AWAY, as an sfw writer, i wont sit here and act like people don’t enjoy nsfw though, so if you’re capable of doing so AND OF AGE, then why not try your hand 🤣🤣)

3. long fics and stories that take a lot of effort

despite how many short blurbs you may see in the tags on tumblr, a lot of people do enjoy long fics (me included!). people love their long fics with classic tropes interwoven throughout.

ofc, use the tags as they are the medium that you’ll be guaranteed interaction! i don’t think i need to tell anyone that anymore LUL

but these tips are the ones i have conjured off the top of my head. whether or not you choose to listen is completely up to you, but i wholeheartedly believe rule 1 is one to follow, no matter what. rule 2 is a great one to implement, and rule 3 is just bc i love reading long fics, as with a lot of other readers!

i hope this post has been helpful even just slightly :) thank you for your ask, anon! and i wish you much luck for your writing journey 🍀

[allo-frouto]

Serious question, Do you get offended when anons send you dick pics. I’m doing this research paper on why sex bloggers get offended when it’s the nature of the beast that they influence.

First of all, I don’t think the term “sex blogger” is a realistic one simply because we just exist on this app in order to reblog and express ourselves freely according to our tastes (even when these tend to be more explicit).

Second of all, the simple fact that someone decides to reblog or upload something more explicit or share their horny thoughts on here, isn’t an open invitation to receive explicit content. Thoughts, words and pictures are just a way to openly share one’s preferences without having to think that someone may think that it is ok to send their private parts to them. It is not.

[runawaycarouselhorse]

why do you not follow back users who follow you? /gen

It’s not a job or duty, I strongly dislike the idea of following someone back just because they follow you. It feels ingenuine, dishonest, and breeds resentment. It’s especially obvious when you unfollow them and they IMMEDIATELY unfollow, like, wow, you were just waiting for the opportunity, huh…? xD;;; Especially when it’s someone who never, ever, ever even likes or interacts with you or has anything in common. Following back just for the sake of following back. Likely muting your username, too, so they don’t see your content.

I like curating my space! I want to follow only what interests me and is safe for me to view (there’s an unfortunately large number of ~aesthetic~ bloggers that otherwise have lovely blogs that totally appeal to my tastes, but there’ll be surprise thigh pictures (never tagging “body image” or anything so I can mute it, either…) or they’ll reblog gif sets of people kissing… I have to take responsibility for myself and telling people “oh, I find (x) sickening, my flashbacks are purely somatic, I can end up bed-ridden nearly all day, feeling nauseous, and drained of energy if I see (x), please tag (x), but also (y), (z), etc.”

… this will not only overload people (sorry, I’m very sex-repulsed and a lot of stuff people don’t consider as anything at all in more sex-saturated western societies will have me physically ill, I can easily avoid those in my own country), but also give a neat little list of things my enemies can use against me, and I have stalker relatives (as delineated in my about, unless I deleted that…) and so many of their other witch friends ways to harrrass and harm me (or, given I’m usually protected, it ends up affecting family members, like the incident with the clothes-ripping.)

It is dangerous naivete to do what so many tumblr teenagers have normalized (a carrd with all of their mental illnesses, triggers, and phobias, waiting for one fake friend or bully to find and abuse to make them break down!), so the simple answer is…

I want to follow what genuinely interests me, not treat it as some duty or obligation, so that my affections for people remain sincere and never dip into such an ugly “waiting for the other person to unfollow so I can unfollow them, they’re just padding out my numbers” like those people tend to fall into (because of this, I often also force unfollow/soft block people I do unfollow who were formerly mutuals, so they don’t think I’m using them to pad out numbers.)

I have people I’ve been friendly with for years, but their content can be triggering or just squicky for me, so I only message to them or mention them in things we both like.

Safety and sincerity.

[ediblegardenspointloma]

Shrubs and Other Kitchen Garden Projects

Strawberry guavas were the only significant harvest last week. With more than we can use, I keep a list of those who also like them and pass them along whenever possible. About another five pounds this week but when we shake the tree I’ll need to get serious about making guava puree for the freezer.

Strawberry guava-pineapple shrub was a new adventure. I find shrubs refreshing when mixed in a one to three ratio with sparkling water. New England colonists used their excess and marginal fruit for shrubs, also called drinking vinegars. My guavas are definitely in excess. For the guavas, I used a hot process method. The shrub mellows in the fridge for about a week and then I’ll taste and decide if I’ll make again.

I’ve followed the guidance on the Food52 website for cold and hot processed shrubs. The post is titled How to Make Shrubs (aka Drinking Vinegars) Without a Recipe. Here are some of their suggested combinations, Or in the spirit of a shrub, use what you have.

strawberries + white sugar + red wine vinegar and a splash of balsamic vinegar 

blueberries + thinly sliced ginger + cider vinegar

nectarine + peppercorn + brown sugar + white wine vinegar

peach + cardamom pods + honey + cider vinegar

pomegranate + peppercorn + white sugar + red wine vinegar

pear + star anise + brown sugar + white wine vinegar

red plum + cardamom + brown sugar + white wine vinegar

The rhubarb-mixed berry shrub I made last week was cold processed which is the method I prefer. I finished the last of my nectaplum-lavender shrub yesterday so I’ll try the rhubarb-berry shrub soon.

Mixologists elevate cocktails and mocktails with shrubs and Martha Stewart provides more inspo. The Whole Foods Market website has an intriguing list of possible uses for shrubs and fruit-flavored simple syrups.

The first apple crisp of the season is always anticipated. I used our Dorsett Golden apples from an earlier harvest and anticipate a small second crop sometime in late November.

Check the What I’m Planting Now page as I plant the cool season garden. Then head to Harvest Monday, hosted by Dave at Happy Acres blog and see what garden bloggers around the world harvested last week.

To leave a comment, click on “Leave a comment/Show comments,” enter the comment, then insert your name. Finally, click on “Comment as Guest” to post comment.

[thedisneychef]

Why Do Recipe Blogs Have Stories

Hi there! If you’re a fan of cooking, chances are you’ve come across some recipe blogs. You may have noticed that many of them include stories with the recipe. But why is this? Why do recipe bloggers feel the need to share their personal experience along with the ingredients and instructions? In this article, I'll be exploring why recipe blogs have stories and how they can help readers get more out of recipes. We all know that food has always been closely linked to emotions and memories, so it makes sense that we'd want to connect our experiences with what we're eating. Recipe blogging takes this idea one step further by giving us an opportunity to take part in someone else's story when trying out new dishes or revisiting old favorites. Let's dive into this topic together and find out just what makes these stories so powerful! Food And Emotions I've always seen food as so much more than just something we eat to fuel our bodies. It's a way for us to express ourselves, and connect with the people around us. Cooking is creative and it often brings back fond memories from childhood or special occasions. Food can even transport you to another time and place - maybe somewhere you visited on vacation and had an incredible meal that you still remember today. Food has such a powerful impact on our emotions, whether they be joyous or nostalgic. Every bite of pasta reminds me of my Italian grandmother in her kitchen, teaching me how to make ravioli by hand like she used to do when she was young. Or the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies takes me right back to those afternoons I spent baking them with my mom when I was little. These food memories have become part of who I am, which is why sharing recipes through blogging feels so meaningful. Even if someone else only makes one of my dishes once, I feel like I'm able to give them a piece of myself – all while also providing some inspiration for their own creative cooking endeavors! Connecting Through Shared Experiences I've found that food and emotions are intertwined. We connect to our memories through the meals we share, the smells wafting from ovens or grills, and the tastes of home-cooked dishes. It only makes sense then that recipe blogs tell stories – they’re a way for us to not just learn about how to cook different dishes, but also a way for us to better understand each other's dining culture and shared experiences. Food memories wrap us in nostalgia and can transport us back in time with every bite. Whether it’s your mom’s famous lasagna or grandma’s secret cookie recipe, these recipes contain generations of love, warmth and connection. I think that this is one of the reasons why people write stories along with their recipes – so that there is more than just instructions on how to make something; instead readers get an opportunity to see into another person's life and feel like part of their story too. Recipe bloggers offer up the chance to explore different cultures without ever leaving your kitchen. Through thoughtful storytelling around cuisine, you can discover new flavors as well as what binds us together: food memories - both old and new ones being created all the time! Adding Depth To Recipes I believe recipe blogs have stories because they provide a personal touch and give readers insight into the family traditions, culture, and history behind each dish. Stories make recipes come alive and add depth to them that would otherwise be missing from a simple list of ingredients or instructions. Stories on recipe blogs can often take us back in time or transport us to different parts of the world just by reading about how certain dishes are prepared and served in various cultures. For example, I recently read an article about how a Mexican grandmother taught her grandson how to prepare traditional tamales for his first Christmas without his abuela; it was such an emotional story that made me appreciate the importance of family traditions even more. With these stories accompanying recipes, we can learn more than just what’s written on paper – we get to experience something much bigger and deeper than mere words can convey. It allows us to connect with others through food and understand our shared experiences while appreciating the cultural influences behind each dish. Inspiring Others To Try New Dishes I'm a strong believer that stories can bring recipes to life. It's all about cultivating creativity and celebrating diversity - the two elements that make cooking fun! When I started my blog, I wanted to do more than just share simple instructions on how to prepare certain dishes. Instead, I wanted people to be inspired by stories behind the ingredients, as well as the cultural significance of each dish. This is why it was so important for me to include personal anecdotes in some of my posts. Whether it's an old family recipe or something new and exciting, sharing these experiences helps readers gain insight into different cultures and cuisines. Not only does this promote understanding between diverse communities, but it also encourages others to explore new flavors and techniques when preparing meals at home. By including stories within your recipes, you create content that is both informative and enjoyable for readers. This not only keeps them engaged with your blog, but it also allows them to discover unique dishes from around the globe without ever having to leave their kitchen! Stirring Up Nostalgia I remember the first time I tried a recipe from a blog. It was years ago, but it felt like only yesterday. The smell of the mixture of spices wafting through my kitchen stirred up all sorts of memories - savorful memories that took me back to childhood visits with my grandmother. As I cooked and tasted each bite, these nostalgic feelings grew stronger, forming an emotional connection between the present moment and past moments in my life. Cooking can be so much more than just putting together ingredients – it can become an experience that evokes powerful emotions and brings you closer to those who have loved and nourished you throughout your life. Recipe blogs often tell stories about where a dish originated or how it has been modified over generations, helping cooks create dishes not only with their hands, but also with their hearts as they travel down memory lane. Recipes hold secrets within them – secrets of family heirlooms passed on from generation to generation and secrets of little-known cultures brought forth by immigrants now living in our communities. Baking for pleasure is one thing; baking for remembrance is another entirely. Through recipe blogs we’re reminded that food carries more meaning than simply sustenance; it carries history too. Frequently Asked Questions How Do I Find Recipe Blogs That Have Stories? Searching for recipe blogs with stories is a great way to get more out of your cooking experience. With the help of a good recipe search, you can easily find blogs that feature both recipes and engaging stories about food. Plus, they often offer helpful cooking tips that make it easier to recreate favorite dishes at home! So why not take advantage of this fun combination? Searching for these kinds of sites can be an interesting and enjoyable journey. What Type Of Stories Should I Expect To Read In A Recipe Blog? When looking for a recipe blog, you may be surprised to find stories accompanying the recipes. These stories offer cultural insights and provide an interesting backdrop to your meal planning! You can expect to read about unique family traditions, regional food specialties, or even the story of how a particular dish was created. All these elements work together to make the experience of cooking something new feel more meaningful and enjoyable. How Do Stories Help To Make Recipes More Interesting? Stories help to make recipes more interesting by providing a cultural context and visual appeal. By including stories alongside recipes, readers can better understand the origin of ingredients or methods used in cooking. This helps to create an emotional connection between the reader and what they are preparing as well as provides them with greater insight into different cultures, cuisines and traditions around the world. It also gives chefs and home cooks alike the opportunity to share their unique experiences that have shaped their time in the kitchen. What Are The Benefits Of Reading Stories In Recipe Blogs? Reading stories in recipe blogs can be a great way to learn more about the dish and its origin, as well as gain insight into why certain recipes are trending on social media. Stories provide an engaging way for readers to interact with the food beyond just looking at ingredients or instructions – it's almost like having a conversation with the chef who created the recipe! Plus, reading stories helps give context to what you're cooking so that you understand where your meal came from and have a deeper appreciation for it. How Can I Use Stories To Inspire My Own Cooking? You can use stories in recipe blogs to help you get creative inspiration and make emotional connections. Whether you're writing your own blog post or making dinner for the family, allowing yourself to be inspired by a story can change everything. Immerse yourself in the details of what's being described and think about how it could translate into something entirely new! Stories are powerful tools that can take us on unexpected culinary journeys -- so don't forget to read some before cooking up your next dish. Conclusion Reading stories in recipe blogs can be a great way to get inspired and motivated when it comes to cooking. Not only do the stories provide background information on how certain recipes were created, but they also give insight into why ingredients are combined in specific ways. This knowledge helps us create our own unique dishes that reflect our individual tastes. In addition to inspiring creativity, reading these stories can also help build relationships with food bloggers. We feel connected to them through their personal narratives, which motivates us to keep coming back for more delicious recipes! So if you’re looking for an extra dose of motivation while trying out new dishes, take some time to explore the stories behind your favorite recipes. Read the full article

[cellard0ors]

So, I didn't respond directly to the anon message I received.

Frankly, I deleted it, but - after talking to @peachworthy, I feel this is an important thing for tumblr peeps to understand.

We, fan fiction writers, owe you absolutely nothing.

We are not being paid to produce content.

Story went in a direction you didn't like?

Too bad.

Story incomplete? Left you longing for a 'proper' ending?

Tough cookies.

It's not that I like writing things that you, the reader, do not enjoy. It's not that I like writing things and not ending them neatly, wrapped up with a beginning, middle, and an end. I hate leaving work incomplete, I do.

BUT HERE'S THE THING

I write for fun. I write for myself. I write because I love to write.

Yes, compliments are nice. Yes, asks about my work are nice. Yes, you wanting more is nice.

But you know what's not nice?

Long soliloquys about how much you love my story only for you to add in some backhanded comments about how it should have gone in another direction. Or how I shouldn't have added on more to it. Or how it should have been completed. Or - as I got one time long ago - about how I should be required to 'orphan' the work so someone else can finish it.

These are my stories, but more than that - they. Are. My. FAN. Fiction.

I did not create these characters, these worlds - I am merely playing with them and since I did not create them, I do NOT get PAID for them. I get paid by working my full time job and living my real life and you know how I escape those drudgeries? By writing. And for someone to just roll up and be entitled about it is just-? It boggles the mind.

Peachy had to deal with someone telling her to 'do better' and they got on a high horse about tagging and it's just not her responsibility to watch out for you.

I swear, I'm not trying to come across as a bitch - I'm trying to come across as someone who is just tired of having to defend myself against things I feel are self explanatory.

You are - one hopes - an adult or on the cusp of adulthood and can understand that not everything is made for you or catered to you and your tastes. If you don't like something - click away. If you don't like something - don't read it. It's very simple.

I was - for a very long time - a follower of a blog that I really, truly loved. Than that blogger changed their content over towards political leaning views. I don't come to tumblr for politics, I come for relaxation and fandom and friendship, so I unfollowed them.

That simple. I didn't message them, didn't send an ask - just let them go their own way and I went mine. The end.

Now, if you've read all this and you're still with me, I appreciate it. If you've read all this and think I'm the entitled bitch, fine - unfollow and find your bliss.

That's all.

[cheesy09]

[CN] Kiro's Sweet Diary SR Moments and Texts

🌸 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for content that hasn't been released on the EN server yet! 🌸

Contains references to his Bits and Pieces Date that comes along with this card.

Highly suggest reading that first!

🌸 Moments

Moment 1: Fashion Items

Kiro: An ingenious item is enough to light up a boring outfit.

Option 1:

MC: I heard people say that the most perfect fashion item is the face.

Kiro: No wonder I find that everything Miss Chips wears looks good.

Option 2:

MC: This has the taste of fashion bloggers.

Kiro: Hey, it’s still a long way from becoming your favorite fashion blogger.

Option 3:

MC: Then, what is your favorite fashion item?

Kiro: Kiro, a patient with choice phobia, has gone offline!

Moment 2: Sweet and Happy

Kiro: on a hot summer day, I can eat ice-cold watermelon when I get home. I'm so happy!

Option 1:

MC: Is Kiro's happiness so simple?

Kiro: The person who cut the watermelon is in my arms. How can I not be happy?

Option 2:

MC: I left the sweetest bite of the watermelon for you~

Kiro: I've become even happier after receiving this sentence--

Option 3:

MC: I unlocked a new way of eating watermelon, and will share it with you when I get home!

Kiro: What's the new way of eating? Is there still watermelon at home? What time do you get home?

🌸 Texts

[Kiro's Complaint] Scenario 1: 

Kiro: Miss Chips, I have a complaint!

MC: Why do you say that? Is someone bullying you?

Kiro: Even worse-- I was bullied by Apple Box!

Kiro: He stole the jam we made two days ago!

Kiro: There wasn’t even a bit left over. He ate all of it!

MC: A whole bottle of jam... Isn’t that too much?

Kiro: You don’t understand--

Kiro: He hates it.

Kiro: So when he eats jam, he also comes for half a bowl of dog food, and a bowl of water.

MC: Hahahaha, Apple Box is so cute!

Kiro: Cute? I’m so angry, my nostrils are flaring!

Kiro: Do you think he’s in the rebellious phase?

Kiro: No, I have to take him to the hospital to see a psychologist. I’ll talk to you later~

Scenario 2:

Kiro: Miss Chips, I have a complaint!

MC: I know what you’re going to say. Did Apple Box...

Kiro: That’s right... He finally found the jar of jam’s hiding spot.

Kiro: I heard a sound from the living room and when I went to check...

Kiro: There was nothing left of the mulberry jam T-T

MC: Bad dog. You have to teach him a lesson!

Kiro: Don’t mention it. I don’t know if it’s because of eating too much jam, but...

Kiro: He’s now running wildly around the house.

Kiro: He even thought of me sitting on the sofa as a hurdle!

MC: Look on the bright side. At least he’s showing that he’s very healthy, isn’t he?

Kiro: If you say so.....

Kiro: But on the other hand, does he despise his master in his heart?

Kiro: .....The more I think about it, the angrier I get. Miss Chips, come home and help me teach him a lesson!

Scenario 3:

Kiro: Miss Chips, I have a complaint!

MC: Complaint? Complaint about who?

Kiro: Apple Box!

Kiro: He secretly took the mulberry jam which was on the table...

Kiro: Then he opened the lid and licked the jar clean!

MC: Haha, the moment he saw you, he must have felt very guilty.

Kiro: Guilty?? You overestimate him too much.

Kiro: Not only was he not guilty, but he brought he’s dog bowl in front of me with a frenzied attitude, and then fell to the ground--

Kiro: It’s like he’s telling me, “I’m not full yet!”

MC: Hahaha! Why has Apple Box become so naughty recently?

Kiro: Maybe it’s because I spoiled him too much...

Kiro: “It’s brother’s fault, it’s brother’s fault” Ah... T-T

Kiro: Hold on, there’s some movement coming from the kitchen again. I have to go check it out!

[a-lil-perspective]

I have been silent for some time now. I have refrained from exhibiting any plaguing thoughts that might warrant me the label of “that person”, but I’m at the point where I’ve had my fill.

Ramble under the cut so as to not... offend or inconvenience anyone. There’s absolutely no obligation to read this. It’s Tumblr. You can block/ignore me. The option to do so is readily accessible.

I’ve been a Bad Batch fan since day one. While I didn’t start creating that very same day, it was relatively close. Point being, I’m a long-time dedicated fan. As the premiere to their series draws closer, I feel like there is going to be a great shift, rift here. That being said, I figured now is as good a time as any to make this post.

I love those boys beyond words. They’ve been the one constant in my life amidst a rapid and debilitating change. I love getting to give them life, even if my interpretations aren’t the most accurate.

Yes, I am a new Writer and yes, I am new to Tumblr, as I am sure both of those things are painfully apparent.

I get that it is impossible to please everyone. It’s something I’m learning more and more with each passing day. It’s something that gets harder to swallow, even more so.

I’d like to say that being here has been a largely positive experience, with all of these great connections and opportunities. But honestly? It’s been more isolating than anything. I’ve actually never felt more isolated than since I joined a year ago.

As a content creator or even just a general blogger, I don’t ask for much. I don’t ask for anything, in fact. I consider myself very low maintenance. I don’t demand/harass/play the martyr for reblogs. I have never mentioned it once, and never will. Some people on here are so damn passive-aggressive about it, and quite frankly, it’s embarrassing. It’s very stigmatizing. While I completely understand the frustration surrounding the like-to-reblog ratio, I think it’s neither tasteful nor reputable to threaten to call people out for not reblogging your fics. I wish I could say I was joking on that one. But I’ve seen it profoundly. Not cool.

And yet, no one says anything or raises any concern there.

Yet I make metas, harmless rambles, and I get shot down? Seriously?

—I need to “chill”, it’s “overkill”, I’m “overthinking”. I and my content are apparently just so damn arduous to interact with.

If you don’t like me, please just move on. There are plenty of other Bad Batch creators for you to enjoy. You know that. My work is absolutely not the final say, and I’ve never claimed it to be.

What is so wrong, with sharing one’s thoughts? Why do people inherently have a problem with other’s creative efforts? I see it time over again. Why do I feel like if I was making a bunch of smutty posts it wouldn’t be as much of a problem, that it in fact would be infinitely more welcome? (Absolutely NO shade to people who create smut, okay? I’ve made my own share. I admire those bold enough to do so regularly. I absolutely love them. Please teach me your ways).

This ramble really has nothing to do with the most recent event regarding my contributions. Rather, it’s a culmination of experiences over the past several months that have brewed and festered to the point where I can no longer keep downplaying it.

Social media, at its core, is one big popularity contest. It always has been, it always will be. But I’m not here to win. That’s never been my objective. That’s not what I’m about. Surprise (or not), I am not a popular blog. Not by a long shot. I’ll never claim otherwise.

I don’t ask people to view/interact with my content, I’m not an activist, I can’t even fathom exuding that kind of confidence. Even though I, admittedly, crave it. I suspect I crave interaction as much as the next creator. It’s a nice feeling. Yet there’s never been any obligation for it, especially with me, so I don’t understand what the problem is. As I’ve said, there are ample ways for you to block/avoid me. It’s the internet. In this day and age, there’s no excuse for viewing anything you don’t want to.

I came here in the hopes of finding like-minded individuals, uplifting and interacting, and exercising some otherwise stunted creativity.

All Tumblr as taught me is that creating and contributing is largely a thankless, empty endeavor. You can give and give and give and be reduced to nothing. There’s a profound imbalance between “giving” and “receiving”, and in regards to both ends of the scale, it’s became apparent to me that if you don’t cater heavily and in unreasonable degrees or get “noticed” by a popular blog, you get nothing, and your efforts are null and void.

Truthfully? I constantly feel like I walk on eggshells here, and it’s all I can do to not crack under the pressure, even though it’s my blog and my headspace. I should feel comfortable and free to express myself here, and I don’t, and I’m unsure of how to achieve that sense of stability. To be completely honestly I feel like a constant bother and a nuisance. When I post, I literally feel like there is a collective eye-roll that comes with people receiving a notification from my blog. Even though I know, rationally, that can’t be true, that’s an absurd level of thinking. I can’t say I can pinpoint exactly where it stems from.

But regardless: I hardly ever talk about/create the things I actually want. I only recently just got ballsy enough to share some metas, and we all know how well that’s going. I try not to have smut out of respect for my asexual/minor mutuals, even though the tag to blacklist is very much an option. I try not to bring up conflicting topics, Tumblr, political, or otherwise, even though with proper tagging I could. But I try not to even bring that into existence. Even though it’s my right to, I don’t.

I don’t actually feel like I fit into any narrative here, especially in the Bad Batch fandom; even though we are all basically the same steadfast group of bloggers. We all know who we are. We all coexist in the same space. It’s nearly impossible to be unaware of each other, at this point.

And yet, I’m not in a bunch of Discord servers or backed by a team of beta readers and all that jazz. It’s basically just me talking to myself out here. It’s very isolating.

Part of that—most of it—is my own crippling social anxiety, and the genuine belief that I don’t deserve to be in the same space/servers as all of these brilliant creators. Because I’m just me, and there’s not a whole lot of value there. With that mindset, it’s hard to actually feel like I belong anywhere. I know that is a mindset I have to conquer alone.

My excitement over my creations has largely dwindled into nothing. I seldom ever bounce my ideas off of others—another issue that stems from the fear of presenting as a burden—and even though I try to write for myself, even that fire has pretty much died out. I’m not even sure how or if I could even reignite it, at this point. It’s really quite sad. It makes me very sad, actually. All I wanted was to safely ramble, project all my thoughts and creativity that has otherwise been repressed through prolonged detrimental circumstances.

More than anything, I wanted to find and hold onto something that makes me feel useful, meaningful, happy. More and more I wonder if that’s even possible. I don’t think it is, not here. I often wonder if joining and sharing on Tumblr was a horrible mistake. I miss the innocent joy of when I first started creating. It was so simple. I’m trying to find that simplicity again.

But I’m burned out. I’m running on fumes. I have been for some time.

At this point it goes beyond just “taking a break” from Tumblr. It’s the fact that it all feels like this meaningless, monotonous cycle. I wonder every day if I am an isolated case in experiencing these emotions.

And yet, come tomorrow I will still be here, business as usual.

I’m not asking for sympathy or playing the victim or attacking anyone or trying to guilt-trip into more interaction. I am very aware of my shortcomings and incorrect mindsets. I’m just trying to make sense of it all. I feel very disconnected from everyone here and it’s lonely. This took a lot for me to share. I will most likely delete this because anxiety will eat me up, as it does with everything I post. Yes, everything.

[melodic-melovin]

[Rough Translation: 

🙏🏻 Dedicated to all Pate lovers! 🤘🏼❤️‍🔥

2 onions

3 chicken breasts

Fry in butter + sunflower oil

Add water, simmer for 15 minutes

Add 2 baked green apples with peel, sprinkle with dill and parsley!

A teaspoon of sugar, salt, pepper to taste.

Let all the ingredients make friends under the cover from Elon Musk! This is the secret formula! Do not forget! (NOTE: I ran this through two separate translators and it came out like this, I genuinely don’t know what this means. If anyone wants to elaborate for me, I would be very thankful.)

Put everything into the blender until it’s paste! Add melted butter - remember, the pate loves it very much...they are a universal love

And enjoy!

P.S No thin layers of pâté on bread…NO! Do not humiliate the great Pate!

We store a good pate under a thin layer of melted butter in the refrigerator! ❤️‍🔥]

No, for once this isn’t me fucking up what blog I’m posting to. For those not in the know, Mel also uses his Patreon to post recipes/food experiments he’s  doing.

...I’m actually not sure I have a tag for this kind of content. I’m also not sure if this is even content people would be interested in seeing, but who knows? I am but a simple blogger here to bring Mel material in whatever way I happen to find it.

(Someone actually make this though, and get back to me if it’s any good or not. I haven’t had pate since before the COVID.)

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

I think it's illegal not to request this: wildflower with the bodacious calum hood

Thanks for the suggestion! I hope my interpretation isn’t too left field. 18+ Content (Smut) Please do not read if you are under 18, thank you!

Please stay safe during these uncertain times. Drop a sweet message to your favorite blogger. Reblog your favorite fic. Recommend a fic to me if you want! We need to spread some joy. 

If you feel so incline, here’s my Ko-fi. But please, for right now, know that I just want to provide content to help you all through these times. 

Enjoy my masterlist!

__________________________

Favorite Fantasy 

Let me put on a fashion show for you. The text is accompanied by a picture of a couple bags sitting on the edge of their shared bed. 

Calum grins, fingers tapping at the keys. I’ll be home soon. One more meeting. 

There’s no immediate response and Calum doesn’t think too much about it. He knows now that she’s back home from her small shopping adventure, she might be relaxing, or playing with Duke. Though Calum didn’t normally work this late on the weekends, he had to be in the studio for the Skype meeting. They were meeting a couple people about merchandise. The timing didn’t work out too well during the rest of the week and on a Friday evening was the first time it wasn’t a mess trying to get everyone near a computer. 

Regardless, after settling in thanks to letting the buffering sit for a solid five minutes, they are able to begin their meeting. Ashton taking the piss looks to Calum. “I guess we gotta make a bucket hat too.”

“Damn straight,” he returns, readjusting the one on his head. “Leopard print.”

“And a fucking pink vinyl,” Ashton tacks on. 

“We don’t know. Pink’s a hard color to pull off. We might not have enough to put a lot in production.”

The warning falls on defiant ears and as Ashton presses on that they need at least a limited edition run of pink vinyls, Calum feels his phone vibrating. He lets it shake for just a moment before slowly pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

You can say I’m impatient. It’s a series of videos that follow it. He shouldn’t press on the first one. Not just because he’s in a meeting but because if it’s particularly lewd, he’s leaving immediately. Instead, though, this one is tame. She struts in the bedroom, far enough from the camera that Calum can see the purple polish on her toes as he takes in the pastel mint sundress. It’s cute and he grins, biting his lips as he brings his attention back to the screen. 

He thanks the heavens he’s angled off to the side. He nods along to Michael’s comment and then scrolls without looking to bring up the second video. She’s dressed head to thigh in checkerboard print crop top and shorts. The shorts are definitely short he notes as she twirls in front of the camera. At the end, she leans into the lens, tongue sticking out with a peace sign. Her go to pose for photos. 

Underneath that is a photo. White sunglasses rest on the end of her nose and she’s still in the shorts and crop top outfit from the second video. Her lips are painted red. She throws up a peace sign with one hip cocked. Her eyes look over the edge of the glasses into the mirror. Calum does not miss Duke wondering around her feet. 

Calum’s quick to turn his attention back up and the conversation has flowed nicely since his distraction. He gives himself a couple more minutes, even throws out a quick comment. “New ideas for merch? I’ve been burning a lot of candles lately. Think we can put together one of those?”

Everyone nods in agreement and the conversation dials towards what kind of scent they want. But they just spitball some ideas, getting everyone’s input. Calum throws out a couple scent profiles at the beginning and then turns back to his phone. A third and final video and picture duo follow. His eyes see the text beneath it but they don’t focus on it before he taps on the video. She’s in just a simple white skirt and a denim drop top. 

He sees the peak of her thigh in the slit. He wants to witness that skirt in person. And just as he goes to respond to her videos he notices her hand creeping down. She runs the tips of her fingers over the edge of the slit before pulling the fabric away from her body. His breathe catches as the sight of the emerald green panties. Those are new. Definitely new. 

With his veins thumping against his skin and a small prickling of heat rushing his body, he continues to watch, gripping the phone a little harder. She grins, bottom lip tucked between her teeth and lets the skirt fall back into place. As she approaches the phone, she unbuttons the front of the shirt. A lacy and unlined bra stare back at him. Her nipples are erect, dark but still noticeable in the design of he lace. 

The video ends and Calum exhales harshly, snapping his head up again. No one seems to be watching as he gives a quick glance around. His blood thumps in his ears. You’re going to get it, he responds without looking at the keys and praying autocorrect saves his life for once instead of ruining it. If you’re not still in that last outfit when i get home, there will be words. 

The phone shakes in his hand. Of course. 

Calum can’t ignore the immediate bulge forming in his pants and he can’t ignore how hard it’s getting for him to breathe. But he can tell the meeting’s winding down. The bounce in his leg let’s him know that he’s not going to make it too much longer if they don’t call it quits for the day. 

As they inch towards another ten minutes of everyone droning on, Calum swears he’s going to explode. He’s waiting, praying for someone to call it done and soon, Andy chips in. “I think we all have our work cut out for us. Chat again in two weeks?”

With a sigh of relief, Calum finds the door as quick as he can without coming off rude. In the car, he thinks about calling. But no, he wants her to sweat it out. Just like he did. That’ll serve her right. As he rolls down the highway, watching the beach pass by, he curls his fingers around the steering wheel. Fuck, he can’t wait to get home to her. He had no idea lingerie was on the shopping list but if he had, he would’ve found a way out of that meeting. 

Cracking open the door to the house, Calum looks to the couch. Only Duke is on the couch and he gives his little man a kiss on the head after shutting the door and locking it. “Tell me, where’s mama dukes?”

“Over here.”

Perfectly backlight by the glass doors of to the backyard, she sits at the dining room table. There’s just enough light from the lamps that Calum can tell she is wearing the same outfit from the video. The front is still undone. The top of her thigh is exposed as she sits crossed legs thanks to the slit. A glass bottle rests on the table next to her glass. He’s sure what was in it, watching her down the last drops of it. 

“It was one more meeting,” Calum reprimands. The closer he gets the more the resolve breaks. Her breasts rise and fall so gently as she breathes. 

“I was bored,” she returns simply. 

Dropping his keys into the small basket nailed into the wall, one that she insisted on having so they didn’t have to play where are my keys game in the morning, Calum leans into the wall to watch her. Her lips are still painted red. From when she left this morning. The first time she’s properly put on makeup in a few days. “You were looking to get fucked,” Calum quips. 

“And if I was? What about it?”

Calum pulls the hat off his head, running a quick hand over the not quite curls length. He gives it a gentle toss, sliding onto the table in front of her. He’s kidding himself if he tries to say that he doesn’t love this side of her. When she’s coy about what she wants but not too subtle about it. He loves it when she makes a little game out of it. 

She blinks up at him but doesn’t crack. Her face remains neutral, the natural pout on her full lips taking over. God, they feel so good against his skin, wrapped around him. “I would say you know exactly how to get what you want.”

“Doesn’t look like it to me.” She uncrosses her legs, letting them fall open just a little. No panties. Calum groans at the sight and he can’t help but cross the room to her. God, he really does love this. 

When his hands slide around her waist, he pulls up and situates her right on the edge of the dining room table. Their kiss is soft. Almost like forbidden lovers knowing they can only steal a moments peace. He trails his lips down her neck, following the collar bone to the strap of the bra. He then grazes his teeth down her chest and pulls one of the cups down with his teeth. 

“Careful,” she hums as his lips suck at the supple skin. His tongue twirls around the bud. 

“I can afford to ruin this,” he mumbles. But he keeps the warning in mind before kneeling in front of her. His tongue is quick to take a swipe at her core. She tastes heavenly on his tongue. He hikes the ankle length skirt up and she holds it open for him. 

Her fingers are digging into his hair, at the nape of his neck as he continues to lap at her. He hums when she gives it a particularly hard tug in response to him. And they feed each other. His fingers dig into the meat of her thighs and he loves how soft she is against his palm. 

If he could relive this moment, hearing her whine and pant above him, he would. It’s all he dreams about. It’s all he wants. He flicks his tongue over her clit and she knows she can’t hold out for much longer. He’s pressing all her buttons and her body is buzzing. 

Calum doesn’t let up either. Not even as her breathe catches and she shouts above him. His chin and lips are soaked with her release. But he can’t stop. Not with the way she overflows. He could cum just from this. She doesn’t even need to touch him hardly before his body is so lit with need. 

“Now you can’t tell me that I don’t eat enough at the table,” he grins, winking up at her. 

She laughs but motions for him to stand. “That’s not what I meant by that. But I’ll absolutely fucking take it.” As she speaks, her hands are already finding the button on his pants. 

“Huh, could’ve fooled me,” he grins, his cheeks puffing up with the action. The grin disappears when her palm wraps up his length. He drops his head into the crook of her neck. 

“Didn’t you mention something about me and this dining room table when we first bough it?” The purchase wasn’t even a week ago either. He nods, unable to speak as she squeezes him. It’s firm pressure but not too hard. Just enough to make his head spin. “Oh I’m going to need words from you, baby boy.”

“Fuck,” he sighs and sinks his teeth into a small chunk of her flesh. He digs his fingers into her waist. It takes a moment to find his resolve and pull away. “I did mention something about you and this dining room table.”

“Remind me again what it was.”

Calum doesn’t need another warning before he slides her off the table and flips her skirt up. He takes a handful of each cheek before swatting her left one. She falls into the table with a whine. His fingers fall to her core, feeling her drip onto him. “Seems like it was a fantasy of yours too,” he hums.

She laughs, cheek resting into the cool wood. “Maybe.” She wiggles her ass for him just a little. He paints her right cheek with a heft swat. 

“You’re going to be a masterpiece when I’m done.” 

-H

[maryflowerw]

Have you ever heard of "internalized sexism"? I think you and a lot of your friends on here suffer from it. It's something you should want to look into. And in the meantime, go and read what the definition of "feminism" is.

It's so sad to see women like you, trying to discredit a movement born to advocate and protect your own rights.

I don't care about your opinions on Gillovny, in fact I usually have fun reading your blog every once in awhile. But then I remember you're such a sexist, terf, homophobe and misogynist and all the bullshit you're trying to spread just loses all its potential funny value.

A very silly and simple advice: try to be more respectful of people and how they want to live their own lives and probably something good will come your way too. And maybe someone will finally believe you ;).

Have a nice day, Mary.

Have you heard of Emily Pankhurst? Probably not. Anyway, I don’t have to defend women just because I’m one. Newsflash: women are evil sometimes. They can be just as evil as men whenever they want to be. I condemn violence. Period. No matter who it is against. Btw, this is one of the reasons I don’t support these types of movements:

https://nypost.com/2021/04/10/marxist-blm-leader-buys-1-4-million-home-in-ritzy-la-enclave/

-But then I remember you're such a sexist, terf, homophobe and misogynist-  Add all the terms you want, you can make them up as well. You won’t see me fazed:)

I’m a woman of strong principles and values who won’t cave before anyone. I think deep inside that’s what enrages people. I will never be politically correct. And I call a spade a spade, respectfully of course. So if my beliefs, opinions, principles and biology offend you, you can always find other bloggers who will undoubtedly suit your tastes/beliefs. I suppose I am allowed to still have an opinion, aren’t I? 

Have a nice day!

#biology

#principles

#intolerance

[how-masterful]

Diamond In The Rough

Dhawan!master x reader

Summary: There's a reason you've been so drawn to the stars. There's a reason the Master took such interest in you. There's also a reason he brought you here on this specific planet, in this specific spot, on this specific night: Only he won't tell you just yet. Because that would spoil the surprise.

Notes: a VERY happy birthday to the one and only @plethora-of-imagines! My partner in crime, consultant in all things masterful, kneecap thief and reason I started this whole page! Have a fabulous birthday queen- this one is most definitely dedicated to you. I hope it lives up to the hype! ❤👑🥳

The universe was a very, very big place. This was a fact that you didn't need to travel with a time travelling alien to realize was undoubtedly true. 

Learning about the universe on earth was... Limited. To say the least. Life beyond the stars was locked in the box of hypothetical conversation, pressed between the pages of countless philosophy and astrology books and stuffed into the midnight musings of "is there really life out there in the universe?" 

For years that question plagued you, hung in your mind like a veil over the fading black spots of your draining day to day. Others would blame their extra terrestrial musings on too many drug trips in the 60's or college, some on late night conspiracy youtube binges. But you blamed yours on simple curiosity- 'if there truly was life out there, why haven't we met it yet?'

But as you grew older, that youthful wonder and curiosity in the universe became something of a fascination. You checked your horoscope every morning, held countless books on the subject- you’d even acquired an old telescope from a family friend. The lady you’d acquired it from said her father loved staring up at the stars every night, made it a part of his routine .You never understood why she looked so sad when she said it, but you soon came to understand the connection people had with the stars.

Or, better yet, the people who travelled among them.

People like the man who currently held your hand in his own.

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Master, you are NOT responsible for Roswell!"

"Really? Who are you going to believe, darling? Your 1000 year old alien husband, or a middle aged redneck blogger?"

You let out a small snorting laugh, the man beside you smiling fondly as you sighed and shook your head. You squoze your conjoined hands, allowing your head to rest back on the purple tartan blanket with a dreamy sigh.

The pair of you were on a hill, a large open plane of thick grass, lay on a blanket beneath an ocean of swirling stars. The TARDIS sat parked in the distance, the familiar shack you called home glowing with the fairy lights you'd insisted on hanging around the roof of the veranda. You'd both abandoned your shoes and socks, a picnic basket and empty plates sat to the side, a half empty bottle of wine and two glasses still standing. Your lipstick still freshly sat along the brim.

The Master had prepared the feast for you both, the basket full of fruits and delicacies from planets far and wide. You couldn't help but moan at the tastes and aromas that encapsulated your senses, the flavors causing beautiful chaos upon your tongue. You supposed beautiful chaos was the Masters speciality. You'd sat in his lap and opened wide as you allowed yourself to be pliantly fed, the guttural groan that escaped the masters lips as you licked the crumbs from his fingertips causing your whole body to tremble with delight. But now the pair of you lay side by side, the Masters coat abandoned and his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows as you both gazed up at the dazzling dark sky.

"I'm telling you doll, never dare a drunk alien prankster- They'll neck down a bottle and start a whole subgenre of conspiracy theories in a single afternoon."

The Master took a strawberry from the hole at his side, taking a bite and discarding the top as you continued to shake your head. He let out a disappointed sigh- but there was no bite behind the gesture.

"Don't tell me you believe the redneck."

You shrugged innocently, biting your bottom lip to hold back your smirk.

"I must admit I'm more inclined to, Master. That tinfoil hat makes them hard to resist."

The time lord let out a proud laugh, eyes scrunching shut as you allowed your attention to stray from the sky. You admired the playful scrunch of his nose, the small lines that formed besides his eyes and in the curve of his cheeks when he smiled. His lips would always part, exposing his teeth. You supposed his usual laugh acted as a snarl, a threatening gesture to all opposition that he took joy in causing such pain. But here, under the starlight, there was no malice behind his grin. This was simple, unstoppable happiness that held an innocence that was rare to the Master. Or at least, rare to the universe. It was a sight you knew happily too well.

"You still haven't explained, Master." You finally spoke, eyes soft as the timelord's head turned in your direction.

"It's simple, pet. There's this race from quadrant nine, all of them three feet tall and neon green-"

You lightly rolled your eyes and smiled.

"I don't mean Roswell, I mean tonight. But expect many more questions about that to follow."

The Master smirked teasingly, hair lightly falling just beside his eye.

"Noted- I'll be sure to dig out the photo album."

"Why here?"

The Masters smirk morphed into a light dusting of confusion. A scrunched brow, one eye slightly more squinted than the other.

"What do you mean, love?"

"I mean, why tonight? You said we had to be on this planet, on this exact night, this exact year."

Realisation soon spread across his face. He nodded lightly, lips pursed as he looked up in thought.

“What are you planning in that mischievous head of yours?”

The Master smiled, allowing himself to lay flat on his back once more. He pulled his hand from your own, allowing you to nestle into his side as he took hold of your other hand. Your rings clashed together with a gentle click of metal, the diamond shining bright in the white glow of the moon. You smiled, head softly resting upon the timelord's chest as his other hand rested upon his stomach, his hearts rhythmically thumping under your temple like thunder. He tilted his head to look down at you, brushing a stray hair from your face.

"The universe is... complicated, love. It's like, its like that book you were reading a couple days ago. God, what was the name? It began with an A-"

"Alice's adventures in wonderland?"

The time lord nodded, booping the end of your nose tenderly with his finger.

"That's the one. It's like Wonderland. And the time vortex is the rabbit hole. It's so easy to get lost, to fall deep within its walls and find yourself confused and discombobulated on the other end.”

You couldn't hold back your smirking laughter. The Master rolled his eyes, pretending not to notice your childish reaction to his choice of words.

“But when you do find your way it's… strange. Unusual. Every planet and constellation and dynasty a new nook and cranny for you to explore. Wolds upon worlds of crooked doorways and spiral tunnels and rooms full of doors that lead you right back to where you started.”

You hummed in thought. You supposed the universe was like Wonderland, in a sense- your life turning upside down the moment you followed the Time Lord into his TARDIS and down the rabbit hole. You snorted internally at the thought of the Master being somewhat of a white rabbit. He already had the pension for time down pat, and arguably his beard and messy hair acted somewhat as a fur coat. You wouldn't dare say it to his face, but judging by his unimpressed expression he’d already heard you.

“But then, once you’ve already reached the precipice of curiosity, you meet the people around you. Whole races and subspecies of people that exist in the same space and time and universe as you but are all so, so different. Some of them are bloody boring, like the Shushans. What's so impressive about having your mouth on the bottom of your foot? And don’t even get me started on the Yomno, i mean- how can your whole race tell the future from spitting on a grain of rice yet all be so god damn dull-”

“Master, you’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“Getting annoyed at other races for being your version of boring.”

The timelord sighed, causing you to giggle. You gently nestled closer to his side, the Masters other hand reaching up to tenderly cup your jaw.

“But then, once in a lifetime, you find something truly unexplored. Like a disappearing cat, or a dodo that died long ago but refused to acknowledge its own extinction, or a girl that fell down the rabbit hole and into the hands of a certainly very mad man. A rarity among the rubble of the basic and mundane. I believe you humans refer to it as a diamond in the rough. The time lords were once like that.”

You let your gaze meet his, confusion dancing across your face.

“Diamonds in the rough?”

“No, they were the rough. I was the diamond.”

“Master!”

You playfully smacked him across the chest, causing him to chuckle deviously.

“As I was saying, before I was so lovingly interrupted, sometimes you find something beautiful. But also curious, a mystery that even the most uninterested man would be desperate to pry their nails into and figure out how they worked. What made them tick. What made them happy. What made them desperate..."

The Master's thumb trailed over your bottom lip, his own lips parted as you let out a trembling breath. His lips curved into a soft smile, watching you lightly squirm under his touch. He pulled his face in closer.

"Humans are simultaneously the shining diamonds and the disgusting scum of the universe. Civilisations have grown in their honour and crumbled at their hands but none of them, not one single human, ever have or ever will compare to you. You're the breathing equivalent of lightning in a bottle, a single drop of rain upon a field desperate for salvation from a drought. A blessing. A gift. My diamond in the rough of a universe that does not deserve a single part of her. I don't deserve you. But here you are.``

His thumb gently caught the tear that threatened to fall down your cheek. You reached up to cup his cheek, the timelord nestling into the palm of your hand. Your noses bumped together at the sudden proximity, and you could feel your heart racing like a steam train in your chest.

"But here I am." You smiled through your tears, a choked laugh emerging from your throat, your thumb softly caressing the apple of his cheek. You could feel his hot breath against your own, his eyes heavy with lust and adoration.

"With the man whom I love more than anything else in the universe, who's shown me things I could never have imagined and treated me like a goddess when compared to him? I'm positively minuscule."

The Master let out a huff, his breath caught in the back of his throat as your lips ghosted over his own.

"Don't you dare think you're anything less than the universe" He whispered, gaze fixated on your lips as your foreheads softly touched.

"Oh yeah? And what if I do?" You returned, your bottom lip brushing against the Master's own, tongue teasing at the time lord's top lip as he growled lowly, voice rough and restrained.

"i'll rearrange the stars themselves piece by piece until you understand just how pathetic it is in comparison."

The distance between your lips was essentially non existent.

"Prove it, Master. Please."

And prove it he did. 

The Masters lips attacked your own with a desperate hunger, your eyes fluttering shut as the force sent you rocking backwards. You kept a tight grip on his face, keeping yourself steady as you pushed your lips back against his own. you'd be damned if the kiss were one sided.

His tongue slid in with ease, the hot taste of his tongue causing you to moan desperately against his mouth. The moan was reciprocated in earnest by the Master, his thumb gently pulling on your chin to allow his mouth further access to your own. You parted further, desperate to please, the sweet taste of your lips sending the time lord deeper into a spiral of lust.

You never knew how much you treasured the taste of his lips until the threat of their absence drew near, your own tongue forcing your way into his mouth like an anchor of perseverance. You took hold of both sides of his face, foreheads together as you hummed against his lips, causing him to crumble under your fingers with a chesty growl of dominance. He was hot fire, a delicious flame of lust licking and burning the inside of your mouth, and eventually the need for air forced your mouths apart.

The pair of you panted, breath escaping both parties as his arms wound tight around your shoulders, pulling you close. You gathered your breath as you nuzzled closer to the Masters side, lips red and glossy as you let your forehead rest upon his temple.

"That… Wow. I think you proved it."

"Did you ever doubt I would?"

You could hear the smirk in his tone, your eyes still fluttered shut as you came down from the high. You could still taste his mouth, the ghost of the strawberries still lingering on his tongue.

"I dunno Master… Still not seeing a tinfoil hat."

The eye roll was practically audible. The gasp certainly was.

"It's time, quick love, look."

You allowed your eyes to open, your gaze fixating on the stars above as they swirled in circular formation. Your mouth gaped open in shock as the pair of you sat up and looked to the sky.

"What are they doing?" You asked in wonderment, the Masters grip on you tightening.

"The whole reason we came here tonight. The once in a lifetime moment. Those drawings of the stars, the shapes they make. This is where they come from."

It was practically magic. Any other person would say it was witchcraft.

"Diamonds in the rough" you whispered, and the Master nodded triumphantly.

The stars swirled in ribbons of white, the dark black of the sky melting around them as the pin pricks in the black began to pulsate and grow with rapid speed. The stars began to link, intricate lines seared into the fabric of the sky like thread as the tiny stars began to merge and form into outlines of figures and shapes. A bear, a woman holding a sword, a pegasus with wings. Vast shapes of all sizes began to move and shift and form. Your eyes sparkled with wonder as the stars shone like diamonds.

It was too much to believe. Until they started to move.

Suddenly, the pegasus bucked up it's hind legs and began galloping across the sky. The woman drew her sword and charged, the scorpion's tale whipping in challenge. The bear plodded across the inky black, back pressed against the rams horns as it scratched itself as if upon a tree. All around you, hundreds of thousands of creatures moved and ran and flew across the darkness, the distant echoes of their commotion floating through the atmosphere.

A pair of lips softly pressed against your temple, trailing a line of kisses down until they ghosted over the shell of your ear.

"What do you think, darling?"

The Master whispered, breath hot on your ear and making you shiver.

"Its… Master its… Thank you. Thank you so much."

The tears from before had returned as the dazzling stars reflected in the sheen of your eyes, as the time lord beside you hummed in appreciation.

"Happy birthday, Y/N." The Master softly whispered, a tender kiss pressed to your cheek. 

In an instant you return to facing him, your lips pressed together once more, stars a distant priority beyond the pull of your husband's lips.

The constellations above returned to their original position, the pulsating giants of the sky suddenly bursting like fireworks in the night. The stardust began to fall atop your heads like something out of a fairy tale, like raining pixie dust as the stars returned to their pin prick size, now shimmering like the lights around the TARDIS veranda. 

But the pair of you were too busy for pixie dust. You didn't need the universe, or the stars, or magic at all.

You were already, well and truly, living happily ever after.

[thedisneychef]

Why Do Recipe Blogs Have Stories

Hi there! If you’re a fan of cooking, chances are you’ve come across some recipe blogs. You may have noticed that many of them include stories with the recipe. But why is this? Why do recipe bloggers feel the need to share their personal experience along with the ingredients and instructions? In this article, I'll be exploring why recipe blogs have stories and how they can help readers get more out of recipes. We all know that food has always been closely linked to emotions and memories, so it makes sense that we'd want to connect our experiences with what we're eating. Recipe blogging takes this idea one step further by giving us an opportunity to take part in someone else's story when trying out new dishes or revisiting old favorites. Let's dive into this topic together and find out just what makes these stories so powerful! Food And Emotions I've always seen food as so much more than just something we eat to fuel our bodies. It's a way for us to express ourselves, and connect with the people around us. Cooking is creative and it often brings back fond memories from childhood or special occasions. Food can even transport you to another time and place - maybe somewhere you visited on vacation and had an incredible meal that you still remember today. Food has such a powerful impact on our emotions, whether they be joyous or nostalgic. Every bite of pasta reminds me of my Italian grandmother in her kitchen, teaching me how to make ravioli by hand like she used to do when she was young. Or the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies takes me right back to those afternoons I spent baking them with my mom when I was little. These food memories have become part of who I am, which is why sharing recipes through blogging feels so meaningful. Even if someone else only makes one of my dishes once, I feel like I'm able to give them a piece of myself – all while also providing some inspiration for their own creative cooking endeavors! Connecting Through Shared Experiences I've found that food and emotions are intertwined. We connect to our memories through the meals we share, the smells wafting from ovens or grills, and the tastes of home-cooked dishes. It only makes sense then that recipe blogs tell stories – they’re a way for us to not just learn about how to cook different dishes, but also a way for us to better understand each other's dining culture and shared experiences. Food memories wrap us in nostalgia and can transport us back in time with every bite. Whether it’s your mom’s famous lasagna or grandma’s secret cookie recipe, these recipes contain generations of love, warmth and connection. I think that this is one of the reasons why people write stories along with their recipes – so that there is more than just instructions on how to make something; instead readers get an opportunity to see into another person's life and feel like part of their story too. Recipe bloggers offer up the chance to explore different cultures without ever leaving your kitchen. Through thoughtful storytelling around cuisine, you can discover new flavors as well as what binds us together: food memories - both old and new ones being created all the time! Adding Depth To Recipes I believe recipe blogs have stories because they provide a personal touch and give readers insight into the family traditions, culture, and history behind each dish. Stories make recipes come alive and add depth to them that would otherwise be missing from a simple list of ingredients or instructions. Stories on recipe blogs can often take us back in time or transport us to different parts of the world just by reading about how certain dishes are prepared and served in various cultures. For example, I recently read an article about how a Mexican grandmother taught her grandson how to prepare traditional tamales for his first Christmas without his abuela; it was such an emotional story that made me appreciate the importance of family traditions even more. With these stories accompanying recipes, we can learn more than just what’s written on paper – we get to experience something much bigger and deeper than mere words can convey. It allows us to connect with others through food and understand our shared experiences while appreciating the cultural influences behind each dish. Inspiring Others To Try New Dishes I'm a strong believer that stories can bring recipes to life. It's all about cultivating creativity and celebrating diversity - the two elements that make cooking fun! When I started my blog, I wanted to do more than just share simple instructions on how to prepare certain dishes. Instead, I wanted people to be inspired by stories behind the ingredients, as well as the cultural significance of each dish. This is why it was so important for me to include personal anecdotes in some of my posts. Whether it's an old family recipe or something new and exciting, sharing these experiences helps readers gain insight into different cultures and cuisines. Not only does this promote understanding between diverse communities, but it also encourages others to explore new flavors and techniques when preparing meals at home. By including stories within your recipes, you create content that is both informative and enjoyable for readers. This not only keeps them engaged with your blog, but it also allows them to discover unique dishes from around the globe without ever having to leave their kitchen! Stirring Up Nostalgia I remember the first time I tried a recipe from a blog. It was years ago, but it felt like only yesterday. The smell of the mixture of spices wafting through my kitchen stirred up all sorts of memories - savorful memories that took me back to childhood visits with my grandmother. As I cooked and tasted each bite, these nostalgic feelings grew stronger, forming an emotional connection between the present moment and past moments in my life. Cooking can be so much more than just putting together ingredients – it can become an experience that evokes powerful emotions and brings you closer to those who have loved and nourished you throughout your life. Recipe blogs often tell stories about where a dish originated or how it has been modified over generations, helping cooks create dishes not only with their hands, but also with their hearts as they travel down memory lane. Recipes hold secrets within them – secrets of family heirlooms passed on from generation to generation and secrets of little-known cultures brought forth by immigrants now living in our communities. Baking for pleasure is one thing; baking for remembrance is another entirely. Through recipe blogs we’re reminded that food carries more meaning than simply sustenance; it carries history too. Frequently Asked Questions How Do I Find Recipe Blogs That Have Stories? Searching for recipe blogs with stories is a great way to get more out of your cooking experience. With the help of a good recipe search, you can easily find blogs that feature both recipes and engaging stories about food. Plus, they often offer helpful cooking tips that make it easier to recreate favorite dishes at home! So why not take advantage of this fun combination? Searching for these kinds of sites can be an interesting and enjoyable journey. What Type Of Stories Should I Expect To Read In A Recipe Blog? When looking for a recipe blog, you may be surprised to find stories accompanying the recipes. These stories offer cultural insights and provide an interesting backdrop to your meal planning! You can expect to read about unique family traditions, regional food specialties, or even the story of how a particular dish was created. All these elements work together to make the experience of cooking something new feel more meaningful and enjoyable. How Do Stories Help To Make Recipes More Interesting? Stories help to make recipes more interesting by providing a cultural context and visual appeal. By including stories alongside recipes, readers can better understand the origin of ingredients or methods used in cooking. This helps to create an emotional connection between the reader and what they are preparing as well as provides them with greater insight into different cultures, cuisines and traditions around the world. It also gives chefs and home cooks alike the opportunity to share their unique experiences that have shaped their time in the kitchen. What Are The Benefits Of Reading Stories In Recipe Blogs? Reading stories in recipe blogs can be a great way to learn more about the dish and its origin, as well as gain insight into why certain recipes are trending on social media. Stories provide an engaging way for readers to interact with the food beyond just looking at ingredients or instructions – it's almost like having a conversation with the chef who created the recipe! Plus, reading stories helps give context to what you're cooking so that you understand where your meal came from and have a deeper appreciation for it. How Can I Use Stories To Inspire My Own Cooking? You can use stories in recipe blogs to help you get creative inspiration and make emotional connections. Whether you're writing your own blog post or making dinner for the family, allowing yourself to be inspired by a story can change everything. Immerse yourself in the details of what's being described and think about how it could translate into something entirely new! Stories are powerful tools that can take us on unexpected culinary journeys -- so don't forget to read some before cooking up your next dish. Conclusion Reading stories in recipe blogs can be a great way to get inspired and motivated when it comes to cooking. Not only do the stories provide background information on how certain recipes were created, but they also give insight into why ingredients are combined in specific ways. This knowledge helps us create our own unique dishes that reflect our individual tastes. In addition to inspiring creativity, reading these stories can also help build relationships with food bloggers. We feel connected to them through their personal narratives, which motivates us to keep coming back for more delicious recipes! So if you’re looking for an extra dose of motivation while trying out new dishes, take some time to explore the stories behind your favorite recipes. Read the full article

[carriagelamp]

Book Review - Summer Summary 2020

I didn’t get around to doing an individual post for the books I read in June/July/August, so I decided to choose a dozen that I read over the summer... I’d separate the wheat from the chaff for you so to speak. Though like you’re about to find out, that doesn’t necessarily mean they were all good by any means...

Crave

My girlfriend got this for me to “tide me over until Midnight Sun”. Between you and me, I think she was taking the piss. Anyway, Crave is very... standard fare paranormal YA school romance with the added flare of being written by an adult erotica writer, meaning the rhythm and tone of this novel is fucking bonkers. If you want to read the novel without reading the novel, just take Twilight and the entire Vampire Academy series, shove them in a blend, and force down the sludge you get from that. Normal Average Girl Goes To Secret School In Alaska For Vampire, Werewolves and Dragons. That’s this book. It is so big and so so so bad. I finished it out of spite, please don’t do that to yourself. Unless you are really craving (hurr hurr) some top tier trashy paranormal romance, in which case... no judgment.

The Last Firehawk

The Last Firehawk is a Scholastic “Branches” series, written for beginning readers (grade 1-3ish, depending on the child’s reading level). It has short stories, big text, and awesome pictures on every page. Guys. I unironically am adoring this series. It’s simple and is introducing children to a number of classic elements in the fantasy quest genre, but it is so charming. Friends Tag and Skyla discover a firehawk egg, and species that is supposed to have disappeared long ago. When Blaze hatches from it, the three are tasked with going out and finding the magical ember stone which was hidden long ago by the firehawks and which could be used to defeat the evil vulture Thorn and his dark magic... I read the first two books to second graders who ate it up and read the next four books because I personally wanted to continue the series. If you have young readers in your life (or just want a fun kid adventure) then please try these they’re the literary equivalent of nibbling on a chocolate chip cookie.

Lupin III: World’s Most Wanted #3

All the kind people that still follow my tumblr and haven’t tried to murder me because of my Lupin obsession are not going to be surprised by this one. I finally read one of the manga for this series and honestly I’m delighted. Somehow even hornier than the show, but hilariously funny. I felt like I was reading a more adult version of Spy Vs Spy. It’s a bunch of short, individual bits/adventures with lots of visual gags and an artstyle that is really different and delightful.

River of Teeth / Taste of Marrow (American Hippo series)

I’ve talked about River of Teeth before, but I finally finished the American Hippo duology and need to sing its praise. This is an alternate history series composed of two novellas that explore the question What would have happened if the States had decided to import hippos as livestock...? Anyways, my pitch for you: queer hippo cowboys. That’s all it took for me to read it. You have a gay gunslinger who loves his hippo to death, a nonbinary explosives-expert / poisoner who is the main love interest, a fat con artist who spoils her hippo and is the only voice of reason in this entire series, and a latina mother-to-be who is the scariest assassin in the entire series and is obviously scheming. The four of them are brought together on a job to deal with the Mississippi’s feral hippo problem.

IT’S A QUEER HIPPO COWBOY HEIST NOVEL GUYS I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M STILL TALKING AND YOU HAVEN’T JUST GONE TO READ THIS YET.

Petals to the Metal (The Adventure Zone series)

The graphic novel adaptation to the McElroy family’s DND podcast The Adventure Zone. Most of you are probably aware of this? It’s a great adaptation, it hits all the important beats, shows off the characters really well, and still gets lots of good gags in even while condensing entire arcs into single book stories. This one is probably my favourite so far just because Petals to the Metal was one of my favourite arcs in the show... but you can also see how the art has improved and the chaos of the race is fun to see drawn out.

If you like The Adventure Zone but haven’t tried the graphic novels yet -- would recommend! If you’ve always wanted to listen to The Adventure Zone but don’t have time for such a long series or struggle to focus on podcasts then pick up the first book of this series (Here There Be Gerblins) and try reading it! It really is an enjoyable adaptation.

Pony to the Rescue (Pony Pals series)

I continued my April/May theme of reading old-school chapter book series to combat Covid Brain Fry, so I picked up a few Pony Pals books. I read these as a kid and always enjoy them -- there’s just something so appealing to a child about having a horse. It gives your child characters a level of independence and ability to explore that you wouldn’t get otherwise. These books definitely read young, but they were nostalgic to revisit.

Small Spaces

A really cool middle grade horror novel I picked up. Maybe it’s because I live around a lot of corn fields, but farm/scarecrow themed horror absolutely does it for me. One evening, after seeing a woman try to destroy a strange, old book, eleven year old Ollie doesn’t stop to think, instead stealing the book and running. That’s how she becomes wrapped up in the strange, sinister story of a cursed family and creature called the Smiling Man that seems to live out in the foggy fields. While unsettling, Ollie tries to remind herself that it’s just a story... but this becomes more challenging when her school bus breaks down one day out their own set of fields, and a fog is rolling in...

“Avoid large spaces. Stick to small.”

Snot Girl #1 - #2

A Canadian graphic novel series by the creator of the Scott Pilgrim series! I love his work so I decided to give Snotgirl a try, even though it’s not generally my genre. I’m glad I did! First book took a while for me to get into, but by the time I hit the second I was really wrapped up in the mystery and character development. Snotgirl is about Lottie, a self-consumed fashion blogger whose biggest struggles are dealing with her allergies, frustration with her fellow-blogger friends, and how entirely her self-esteem is tied to her “beauty” and how people view her. But everything shifts in strange and horrifying ways when Lottie starts taking a new allergy medication, meets a new friend... and then witnesses that girl’s death. Or does she?

Seriously, or does she? I have no idea, I need to read the third book. This book is full of intrigue, complicated relationships, murder (or not?), and a healthy dose of magical realism to keep you guessing. If you like slice-of-life, crime, and abstract reality then this series is world a try. Plus the art is gorgeous.

Summer Wars #1 - #2

I recently rewatched Summer Wars (still one of my favourite movies) and decided to read the two-book manga adaptation. It was a really neat little adaptation. The creator of the movie gave the writer free range to tweak things to fit better in a manga format, which means some movie elements were allowed to fade into the background, whereas other aspects were fulled into the forefront and fleshed out to a greater degree. It was very cool, it kept the same story but gave you new things to think about which I wasn’t expecting. Reading this as a stand alone works just fine, but honestly if you’ve never watched the movie Summer Wars you should give it a try! It’s a great mix of slice-of-life, sprawling family dynamics that I relate to a little too well, cyber adventures, and fantasy. Super feel good.

This One Summer

Okay, last graphic novel, I swear. This One Summer was... weird and intense. It’s a coming-of-age Canadian graphic novel that follows a pair of pre-teens who meet up like they do every year at their family’s summer cottages. You see them both in the awkward phases between childhood and growing up to become teenagers, as they’re confronted with things like maturity, friendship, self-esteem, family problems, and sexuality. A beautiful read, but probably the heaviest out of all the books on my list.

Wild Thornberrys Novelization

I rewatched The Wild Thornberrys movie with my girlfriend earlier this year, and decided I wanted to hunt down the chapter book novelization because I’m kind of a sucker for novelizations. Honestly, this was about what you would expect from the era. 90s/00s novelizations, especially young novelizations, are generally just a transcript of the movie without much thought or effort put into them to make them anything but. That’s what this was. It was fine, and it really let me revisualize the entire movie, but honestly you’re probably better off just rewatching the movie unless you also really deeply love The Wild Thornberrys.

The Willoughbys

I saw that Netflix had done a funky looking adaptation of The Willoughbys and I decided I needed to read the book first before watching the movie. This was a little bizarre, I’m still not sure how I feel about it. Over all, I think it was a net-positive experience. It’s an obvious satire on classic children’s novels, especially the likes of Mary Poppins (real Mary Poppins, not the Disney version) and while a little heavy-handed, it does a Series of Unfortunate Events vibe that redeems it. The story is about a group of horrible children (The Ruthless Willoughbys) who decide they are sick of their parents and would rather become Worth Orphans... and to do that, they’re going to have to dispose of their inconvenient parents, obviously. Conveniently their parents are also sick of having children and decide to do away with them as well. The Willoughbys sets up three (or four?) different subplots that are gradually woven together through a series of schemes and exploits. It’s definitely more ruthless (hurr hurr) than the Netflix version, which tried to make the children more sympathetic, and in some ways I think that’s a definite point in the novel’s favour. I’m not sure I would go out of my way to recommend it, but it was a fun romp if you want something short and off the wall (and a lot more fleshed out than the Netflix version).