#I’ll still use gender neutral pronouns for them tho | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thepuckishrogue · 2 years ago

Text

Javier Escuella x GN!Reader in: What You Want, What You Need

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

|| ao3 version | f!reader | m!reader ||

|| javier m.list | rdr m.list | writing blog ||

↠ Requested By: The absolutely unreal levels of thirst I have for this man ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: So very NSFW ((is2g, if I see any minors interacting with my stuff it’s ~on sight~)) ↠ Chronology: In the here and now because it’s a Modern AU ↠ CWs/TWs: There a lot, but the biggest are mild exhibitionism, m!dom/sub dynamics, rough treatment/sex (Reader receiving), jealous Javier (but make it non-toxic), light choking (Reader receiving), and orgasm denial/control (Reader receiving). For a complete and more detailed listing see the note below the cut. And if I missed anything, please let me know!! ↠ Betas? Lmaoooooo… ↠ Total WC: 7.5k~

“Oh fuck you, Escuella.” “You’d best watch that mouth of yours, mi amor. Just because daddy-dearest can’t take you over his knee anymore doesn’t mean your papi won’t.”

A Modern AU in which you take your teasing a little too far at a friend’s party. In return Javier will make sure that you get what you deserve before you get what you need.

He’s using papi SARCASTICALLY ffs lmao

‼ PLEASE NOTE THAT I AM NO LONGER POSTING NEW WORKS TO THIS ACCOUNT ‼

The only reason I’m putting the GN version on here is because it doesn’t make sense to break them up. If you want to keep up with my work, head over to my writing blog, linked above. ((that’s where the link for my rdr m.list will take you, btw))

Anyways! Sorry it took me so long to write this. I have no excuse aside from being lazy and not wanting to cringe my way through reading my old writing lol.

Also! I’m trying something new, as far as translations go. Instead of having them all at the top of the post, they’re now directly under the paragraph they appear in. Imo this makes for an easier read, but if it’s having the opposite effect let me know; if enough people are having problems with it I’ll go back to the old format.

((also, also—I’m naught but a basic ass English speaker and thusly all translations are still internet-sourced, so if they’re wrong please refrain from coming for me lol))

💦 Tags: Reader uses they/them pronouns || Reader has ambiguous anatomy || Reader is POC friendly || M!dom/sub dynamics (with Reader being a low-key bratty sub until they sweeten up) || public teasing, but make it ~sexy~ (Javi receiving) || fingering (Reader receiving) || orgasm denial (Reader receiving) || penetrative sex (Reader receiving) || rough treatment/sex (tho not overly so) || one SARCASTIC use of “daddy/papi” || lots of pet names (including that “good baby” type beat, Reader receiving) || Reader purposefully making Javi jealous (in a playful, non-toxic way lol) || Charles is an accomplice in the aforementioned foolishness (there’s an… implied understanding there*) || naturally that means there’s a certain level of exhibitionism but it’s all R-rated stuff || arm binding via a scarf (Reader receiving) || light choking (Reader receiving) || lots of praise (Reader receiving b/c that’s Javi’s jam) || voice kink stuff (goes both ways) || ((write that off to OP being a self-indulgent shit once again lol)) || orgasm control (Reader receiving)

*So basically after fucking around Reader finds out that Javi’s not one to be teased after he winds them up only to leave them wanting. Reader, wanting to get back at him for not finishing the job, utilizes one of their mutual friends (Charles) to stoke a little jealousy, but I swear it’s not as toxic as it sounds lmao. It’s less about actually making him jealous and more about fraying his ironclad sense of control by triggering his possessive streak… Which, okay, still sounds bad I suppose, but there’s being possessive and then there’s being possessive in a hella toxic way; Javi is the latter. What’s more it’s implied that the three of them have an understanding of sorts, so it’s all in good fun.

“Is this what you wanted, mi amor?” ((my love))

Yes, your body screams as his hand works against your center, the drag of his callouses creating a delicious friction with every pass over the hot, sodden flesh. Your hands grip at his shoulders, hard and nearly tight enough to bruise, as you grind up into his touch.

You know you must look thoroughly debauched right now—head thrown back to expose more of your neck to his care, lips slightly parted under pants and half-formed curses, skin flushed and sweat-slick, and eyelids weighed down by the weight of your lust—and that’s saying nothing of the state of your clothes. Items have been hastily tugged and rearranged to get the most needed parts exposed in the quickest amount of time possible. You clearly look like you’re in the process of being ravished, but Javier…

The man couldn’t be more put together if he tried.

There’s not a hair out of place, and despite the desperate hold you have on his shirt, the damn thing hasn’t even so much as wrinkled. The only sign that he’s even the least bit affected by all of this is the tent in his pants and the desire that darkens his gaze, but you suppose that’s to be expected. If he wasn’t so damnably good at keeping his composure you wouldn’t have bothered with doing the things that have led you to this moment.

An ‘accidental’ brush of your fingers against his crotch, whispered filth as you casually rested your weight against his back, the instant transformation of a simple spoon into something far more erotic once it passed your lips—nothing was off limits, not when you were so hell-bent on breaking him. It’s all consensual, this game the two of you play. Sometimes the teasing is mutual, other times it skews a bit more against one of you, but the end goal is always the same: to bring the other so close to the edge that they willingly hurl themselves over it.

Today’s party had been the perfect excuse to indulge in a bit of play, and your man had been all too willingly to serve himself up as prey. This, of course, was due to the fact that he was more than confident in his victory. The thrill of the challenge was the only thing that gave the get-together any allure; sure, Karen and Sean do hold the crown for best house parties in your friend group, but you’re not always sure that they’re worth the (usually hangover induced) headache.

You’d brought you’re A-game, starting with wearing an ensemble that you know he couldn’t resist. His mind had clearly gone blank when you first emerged from the bedroom, though he quickly rearranged his face into something cavalier before telling you to “–get your cute ass in the car so we can get gone.” Your fingers played along the inseam of his pants for the entire length of the ride, but aside from an initial arching of his brow he was annoyingly nonplussed. You had stepped things up considerably once you were inside, but despite essentially giving a plastic spoon a blowie (just out of view of an unsuspecting Arthur and Lenny) the man hadn’t done so much as smirk in your direction.

After a good twenty minutes got you nothing but an ache between your own thighs you finally gave up and decided to try to enjoy the party. With a cup of something mixed and fruity in hand you headed off to join your friends, but before you could make your way into the living room a familiar hand was curling itself around your arm and dragging you off in the opposite direction.

It just fucking figures that being ignored would be the back-breaking straw. You would’ve been mad at it if it wasn’t gonna result in yours getting blown out.

Neither of you said anything as Javier led your deeper into the house, not that there was much to say anyway. It was pretty damn obvious from the set of his jaw and the hunger in his eyes that you had won, and it could never be said that you weren’t a gracious winner …self-satisfied smirk notwithstanding.

His lips were on yours before the door had even fully shut behind you. You had laughed a bit at his eagerness, but the taunting sound soon morphed into a moan when your back slammed into the wall just beside the thing. Eyes smoldering and smile wicked, he groped at your clothed form in a way that had you writhing and grinding against him within seconds. It was only once you were a panting mess that he finally, finally bypassed the layers to touch you properly; hot and wet, proof of your arousal met his questing fingers, electing a groan that was nothing short of orgasmic. Things had moved quickly from there, and the rest…

“I said—‘is this what you wanted?’”

The words are growled against your ear, though the harsh pant of the breaths that follow travel downwards until he’s nipping at the corner of your jaw. A broken mewl pushes past your lips at its sting, and though the sound leaves him shuddering against you, it’s clearly not enough to sate him. His free hand connects with your ass in a resounding slap, one that while not overly hard is still enough weaken your knees considerably.

“Yes,” you groan out, the word catching in your throat as his thumb rubs a fresh pearl of precum over your sensitive flesh. “Fuck! Javi, yesss…”

Hot, bothered, and more than a little desperate you rut against his hand with hard little jerks. Your borderline frantic movements and needy little sounds leave him chuckling darkly as he works you over with practiced ease. His tone is condescending as hell as he pulls more and more out of you with lascivious words murmured in a husky timbre. He’s playing you like a goddamn fiddle, but you don’t care, can’t care—about this or anything else that’s not your impending release.

“Baby, I need, fuck, I need–”

“Shhh, I know.”

And you don’t know how he knows, just that somehow he always, impossibly does, and now is no exception. He descends to his knees with a smoothness that only repetition can bring, nudging your legs wider so that you’re more fully on display for him. He looks up at you then, wanting to make sure that you’re watching—as if you could ever be looking anywhere else. His eyes flicker with a familiar mischief as he runs the flat of his tongue over your heat and you damn near scream at the wet, warm trail it cuts.

“Careful now, cariño, you don’t want them to hear us– Oooo…” The word fades into a rolling chuckle when your hips give an involuntary thrust forward that has him amending his statement. “Or maybe you do? Mmmm… You like that, huh? You like the thought of them hearing what I do to you? Hmm, mi bebé travieso?” He all but purrs the last word as he presses a kiss to your quivering thigh before putting his mouth to work again. He alternates between gentle sucks and teasing flicks of his tongue against your most sensitive areas; meanwhile his fingers gather up a measure of your moisture before pushing inside of you to start up a lazy pace. This treatment lasts for a few glorious seconds only to come to a stop so abrupt that it leaves all of your muscles seizing up in confusion. ((sweetie || my naughty baby))

You know what he wants—an answer to a question, that if he were less petty, he wouldn’t expect a real reply to—just as you likewise know that he won’t start again until he gets it. And so you take a shaky approximation of a breath before managing to stutter out, “J-just… returning the favor.”

Laughing, he takes your meaning instantly. With as many times as you’ve been forced to listen to Karen and Sean go at it on various occasions, it does only seem fair. Of course, your reply is more copout than actual answer, but thankfully he lets it go. For now. You’ll definitely be talking about this again at some point in the future—probably later on tonight, actually—but for right now he’s content enough to go back to ruining you with his deft fingers and talented mouth.

You’ve always been fascinated by Javier’s hands. They’re slightly larger than what you would expect from a man his size, and yet somehow they don’t seem out of proportion to his body. They hold so much potential, both to create and to destroy—a point that is mirrored in the tattoos and scars that cover the dusk of his skin. You love to see them in motion, whether he’s doing something as mundane as tuning his guitar or something more perilous like playing with one of his many knives; the former is a particular point of fascination as you cannot help but to wonder if the skill transfers over to more carnal activities. The way his stroking thumb works in time with the bob of his fingers into your heat you’re inclined to say that yes, yes it does.

And his mouth…

Holy fuck, his mouth.

It doesn’t matter where it is he’s kissing you, having his lips pressed against your skin is always enough to leave you weak. Warm and pillow soft, they glide over you leaving a feverish trail of desire in their wake. Calloused fingers continue to work you open, adding to your pleasure in a way that sees your voice scaling higher, louder, as any lingering worries about being overheard are vaulted clean out of your head.

In this moment his only goal is to see you coming undone, and under Javier’s touch you’re a rapidly fraying thread. He’s loving every minute of this, you know he is, but—“If you can’t keep that pretty little mouth of yours quiet, amor, I know my cock can.”

“Oh my god.”

The throb your core gives is almost painful in its intensity as you imagine having him face fuck you until tears are spilling past the corners of your eyes before bending you over and absolutely ruining you, and you have to wonder just what this man has done to you. You were never this damn kinky before—or maybe you’ve always been a closet freak—either way since getting with Javi you have been turned completely out, and you’re not even mad about it, honestly. What you can do without, however, is his smug little laugh. Like yeah, he totally has a right to it, wrecking you the way he is, but still. Any saltiness you feel is quickly forgotten as the spooled pleasure in your stomach wrings itself tighter. Your bodies work in tandem creating the perfect rhythm, so fucking perfect, and you’re so fucking close, just a little more and then—and then he’s pulling away?

What?

“Nooo! Javier, why–”

“Orgasms are for good little loves,” he tells you simply as he rises back to his full height.

“You cannot be serious right now.”

But looking at him you know he is. Honestly you should’ve been expecting something like this—you had been teasing him for nearly twenty minutes before this all began—but you’d thought that your punishment was going to come in the form of him gagging you with his dick before fucking you until you screamed. But this… Well this is the other side of the coin that you’d forgotten to consider. Yes, he’s hard and yes, he wants this just as badly as you, but Javier’s more than willing to deny his own needs if it means winning this little game of yours. He’s petty like that, and what’s more he has the will to see it through.

Well fine then, you think with a pouty twist of your lips. If he wants to be that way I’ll just finish myself off and–

Fingers close tightly around your wrist before you can properly touch yourself. “What did I just say, bebé?” ((baby))

“And who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do to and with my own body?” you ask with an arch of your brow. The bite of your words would be more effective, you’re sure, if they weren’t so damn breathy, but there’s little for that.

“Oh, mi amor,” he starts with a chuckle as he pins your hand to the wall beside your head, “you know exactly who I am.” He kisses you then, long and deep, and you find yourself melting under it despite your annoyance.

Damn this man and his silver everything! The thought drags its way through your sex-addled brain as your free hand twists itself in his shirt, though whether the action will lead to you pushing him away or pulling him closer you’re not sure yet, and before you can decide he’s breaking the kiss.

“Get dressed, cariño, we’ve got a party to get back to,” he breathes against your lips before pecking at them again.

“You can at least let me err, calm down some and clean myself up a bit–”

He shakes his head as he pulls away from you. “No, I don’t think so. I want you just like this, baby—all leaky and throbbing and wanting. I want you aching just as much as I am. It’s only fair, after all.”

Eyeing the bulge that’s seriously testing the tensile strength of his zipper you’re inclined to agree, reluctantly though it may be done. After all you are the one that kicked things off. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now that you’re left to live with the consequences? Yeah, not so much. Fair’s fair, but that doesn’t mean you have to like it. Pouting all the while, you quickly set yourself back to rights—well mostly. Thanks to the hasty tugging of your prior urgency your clothes aren’t hanging like they’re supposed to and won’t be again until they’ve been washed and re-ironed, but there’s nothing to be done about that in the now.

You’re left to silently lament the fact that you’re about to take a mini walk of shame that hasn’t been entirely earned since you didn’t actually get any. Cutting your eyes over at the reason you’re in such a state you find that, aside from his very obvious arousal, the fucker looks as put together as ever.

“You suck, you know that?”

He snorts as he snakes an arm around your waist, guiding you towards the door. “Yeah, I do. I also lick and nip and tease and you love it.”

“Oh fuck you, Escuella.”

“You’d best watch that mouth of yours, mi amor. Just because daddy-dearest can’t take you over his knee anymore doesn’t mean your papi won’t.”

“Promises, promises,” you snark back, though there’s no denying the longing seated in your words.

His only reply is a dark little chuckle that leaves you throbbing with want and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. What’s worse is that you’re about to walk through a party full of all of your friends, and while it’s not the first time they’ve seen you flustered and frazzled like this the situation is still less than ideal. Thankfully the thought of having winks and suggestive comments tossed your way is enough to kill off any lingering lust, but this is going to be a long night either way—or is it?

A plan starts to come together in your mind as you hear Charles’s laughter floating in though the backdoor; he rarely ever laughs loud enough for it to be heard so far away, so you can only imagine what’s been said or done to garner such a reaction. Though his mirth usually runs on the quieter side of things, the man does have a mischievous streak that can almost rival Sean’s, and it’s only common sense and general kindness that keeps him from tapping into it more.

Tonight, however, he’s going to step outside of his self-imposed restrictions—you’ll make sure of it.

After all, your plan relies on it.

“What’s got you laughing so hard, Chuck?”

Charles doesn’t even bother with correcting you as he knows that you’re already well aware of how much he despises that nickname. You’re just looking to get a rise out of him, but unlike your boyfriend, he’s not so easily bated. Though to be fair to Javier, it did take you a good twenty or so minutes to finally break him—maybe more as whatever game it is you two are playing more than like started long before your arrival–

And is set to carry on for a while longer, if the state of them is anything to go by.

He’s hardly surprised to find that the pair of you are looking more disheveled than last you were seen. While Javier’s only slightly mussed, it’s more than obvious that you’ve been taken through your paces. There’s a wrinkle in your clothes that hadn’t been there before and your lips are plush in a way that says you’ve been kissed thoroughly and with a level of enthusiasm that would have left you moaning into the ministration as you grinded into your lover’s palm with needy little ruts of your hips…

He quickly averts his eyes as soon as the thought manifests lest you pick up on the way you’re affecting him—have always affected him, if he’s being honest. And it’s not just you. Javier is dangerously alluring in his own right, and he finds himself falling into his orbit more often than not. He’s never allowed himself to explore whatever it is he feels for either of you as you and Javier have always been a thing, though there’s no point in denying that there’s an attraction there, and a mutual one at that. Javier’s always been the more flirtatious out of the two of you, but when you have a mind to you can fluster him like nobody else. None of you have ever seemed truly interested in taking things beyond that level—yet.

Charles cannot help but to feel that one of these days there’s going to be a shift. The signs are all there, after all; the way you all gravitate towards one another, trading lingering touches and longing looks. Things that he would usually consider an invasion are much welcomed advances when they’re coming from the pair of you and he often finds himself reciprocating without any conscious thought. It’s all so confusing and thrilling and catalyzing that he cannot help but to crave more. Arthur has told him on several occasions to bite the bullet and make a move, but given that he’s dealing with an established couple he’s more than willing to follow your lead on this one.

In the now he gives you a response in the form of a nod towards one of the party’s hosts. Sean is just now scrambling his way back onto the deck (quite literally as he’s opted to climb over the railing instead of using the stairs like a normal person) after an overly-dramatic retelling of one of his more daring exploits had sent him tumbling off of it. Luckily for him the fall was a short one into relatively soft grass, so really it’s only his pride that’s been bruised. Seeing that his audience has increased by two he starts his story from the beginning and the pair of you listen with rapt attention–

Or, rather Javier does. You, however…

It starts out innocently enough, with you slumping against him and resting most of your weight against his shoulder. Charles contemplates draping an arm around you—it wouldn’t be odd of him as it’s a position that you’ve been in countless times before, but he doesn’t want to presume—but before he can think himself into a circle you’re snaking your arm around his waist. Your hold isn’t particularly tight, only really pressing in enough to keep you connected. After a few seconds you start to feather your fingers up and down his side in a move that he would’ve considered innocent if not for the wicked little smile on your face. There and gone in a flash, he finds himself looking at you more fully to be sure of what he saw; all he receives for his troubles, however, is a playful wink that leaves him batting down a burst of nerves.

It seems as if he’s unwittingly become a participant in whatever it is the pair of you have going on. He’s surprised, but he can’t say he’s opposed.

Steeling himself with a sigh, he finally allows his arm to drape across the breadth of your shoulders. The movement catches Javier’s eye from where he stands on Charles’ other side, as does the continued skittering of your hand. His expression as he takes this all in changes by degrees as he assesses you both separately; when looking at you there’s a knowing tint to his gaze that’s clouded with a banked lust, though when his eyes meet the taller man’s stare that knowingness sharpens into appraisal. Had the desire there dissipated Charles would have backed off immediately, but thankfully that isn’t the case. Javier gives you both a smirk that leaves Charles flushing in a way that gives him one more reason to love the dusk of his skin.

It’s apparent that Javier’s happy to let the two of you play, so Charles is content enough to let you do as you will. Your hands move higher and higher with each pass over the waffle-knit of his top until clever fingers are dancing up the back of his neck to gently tangle themselves in his nape. Nails scrape upwards into the loose wave of his hair in a move that nearly has him moaning out loud. He’s just able to bite down on the sound, but there’s nothing to be done for the way the rest of his body betrays him with a shiver. Having his hair played with has always been a weakness of his, but one that not many know of thanks to the boundaries that he’s set in place. The number of people who can say they’ve had the pleasure of obtaining this knowledge are few, and those who’ve gotten such a visceral reaction out of him because of it are fewer still.

Sounds seem to fade away as you continue to lull him with your ministrations, with not even the combined drunken yelling of Sean and Lenny’s conveyed anecdote being enough to pull him out of the stupor. He allows his mind to wander as you work; the images that flash through his head are ones that he usually reserves for hours far later than this one, when he’s alone with an ache between his legs that cannot be abated by anything but imaginings of the only two people who could reduce him to such a base state. His grip on you tightens unconsciously, forcing you more firmly against his chest and you’re quick you mold yourself against him.

Your pace is languid as you work him over with the repetitious scrape. It feels like he’s under the sweetness of your care for a small eternity, and he’s more than happy to stay lost for another eternity still, so when your fingers curl and tighten against his locks and tug there’s really no way for him to stop himself from crying out. Luckily the story has finally reached its end to a cacophony of laughter that’s just loud enough to drown out a sound that’s caught somewhere between a yelp of surprise and a moan. Thankfully everyone’s too drunk and-or preoccupied to notice the way his chest heaves and his eyes darken as he looks at you through heavy lids–

Well, everyone except for Javier. He’d honestly forgotten that the other man’s still here—that anyone’s here, really—but now his presence encompasses all of Charles’ attention.

“Alright, amor, you’ve had your fun,” he tells his partner. His tone speaks of mild amusement, though there is a sliver of something there—something dark and wanting, ravenously so—that leaves their breath hitching. To Charles, “It wasn’t very nice of them, starting something they know they can’t finish– Not tonight, at least. But don’t worry, ‘mano—next time, we got you.”

The words feel like they’re caught somewhere between a promise and a threat, but Charles finds that that only adds to their appeal. The pair of you say your goodbyes then, first to him and then to the group at large. A chorus of wolf-whistles and teases are given in response, with everyone having a pretty good idea of why you’re cutting out early, but if they suspect his role in things they’re kind enough not to mention it.

As Charles watches your retreating forms he runs a shaky hand through the length of his hair only to find that the motion doesn’t bring him the stability that it usually does. How can it, when he can still feel your phantom touch, the exquisite bite of your nails against the sensitive skin of his scalp…

These memories will continue haunt him, he’s sure—unable to be exorcised in full until he’s lying sweat-slicked and sated between two equally worn-out bodies.

“Is this what you wanted, mi amor?”

Javier’s thrusts can only be described as punishing, more so due to depth and force than speed. Your body jolts forwards with every snap of his hips, but the firm hold he has on the scarf that binds your arms keeps you from going too far—not that you want to be anywhere else but here, completely laid bare and at the mercy of the man at your back. The word ‘mercy’ used very loosely here as he is being absolutely ruthless and you’re loving every second of it.

Face down and ass up, he’s had you bent over the desk from nearly the moment you stepped into your bedroom, only stopping long enough to tie your arms behind your back. In all honesty you’re pretty sure this is the true reason he pushed so hard for its inclusion in the room—there’s definitely more appropriate spaces for it—but whatever. It’s not like you can complain when it gets such frequent use.

So yes, this exactly what you want, what you need…

“I asked you a question, baby, and I expect an answer,” he continues on in a low, demanding tone.

You try to reply, you swear you do, but whatever it is you manage to slur out between moans isn’t an adequate enough reply. Javier’s voice drops to something just above a true whisper as he leans more fully against you—close enough that you swear you can feel the beat of his heart against your back, close enough to feel the pant of his breath ghosting over your skin—with the sinuous roll of his hips slowing further.

“Forgot how to use your words already?” he tsks against the shell of your ear. “That’s okay, cariño. I know you wanna be good for me, so I’m gonna help you out…” Taking your confused sounding whimper for the question it is he chuckles before saying, “How? It’s easy—Imma fuck the answer out of you.” ((sweetie))

Before you can fully process his words he’s unwinding his hand from the cloth, pulling back, and pounding into you quick and hard. The feeling has you gasping out his name followed by a babbled yes-yes-YES that leaves him growling out his approval. He calls you his good baby then and the small bit of praise makes your brain fizz as your body reacts on instinct. Eager hips throw themselves back to meet his thrusts; though your positioning doesn’t really allow for much traction your efforts do earn you a few moans and curses of approval, at least.

“Mierda. Look at you. You like being fucked hard, huh? Like me taking you like this?” The words are little more than a rumble with how low his voice has dropped, and the change in timbre leaves you clenching up around him more. “Fuuck babe—that’s it, that’s– Fuck. Yeah, you love this shit. That why you were being such a little tease, yeah? Did you want me to fuck you ‘til you remember who you belong to?” ((shit))

He doesn’t give you a chance to answer this time, choosing instead to take your jaw in hand. His grip is just this side of bruising and well at odds with the gentle way his thumb strokes over your bottom lip. Your tongue snakes out mindlessly to flick at its calloused pad and you hum at the slightly salty taste of his skin. Javier hisses out a curse as you continue to lave over the digit, and you can practically feel his narrow-eyed stare from where it’s sure to be drilling into the back of your skull. Unwilling to relinquish even the least bit of control just yet, his palm slides downwards until it’s resting firmly against your neck. Long fingers easily encase the column, and while he doesn’t squeeze nearly as hard as he had been before there is a definite and steady pressure there. You know he’d sooner hurt himself before he would ever risk truly hurting you, but there’s still something undeniably alluring about feeling like you’re on the edge of something so dark and dangerous.

Your moan is slightly strangled as you lean more heavily into his hand, with your hole clenching especially hard as the oxygen vacates your lungs. In turn Javi grunts at the sensation even as his fingers squeeze just that little bit tighter, and in that moment you’re sure that a death of a different kind is close at hand. Spanish is falling from his lips much faster than your addled mind can ever hope to translate, but when he does finally switch back over to English he’s hardly saying anything you want to hear.

“What?” He gives a particularly hard thrust as you croak out the word, leaving you to damn near choke on it.

“You heard me, amor—don’t. You. Cum. After the shit you pulled tonight did you honestly think I was gonna let you cum so easily?”

Your replying whine is pitiful indeed, not that you actually expect to receive any sort of reprieve at this point. Still, that doesn’t stop you from looking over your shoulder and giving him your best pout. For his part your man mimics your expression, giving your neck a few soothing strokes before allowing his lips to pull off into a devious little smirk.

“Aww, look at you. There’s no need for all that, baby, I’m gonna give you what you want—not that you’ve actually earned it, not yet. You’ve been especially bratty lately; playing all these games, teasing me… I can’t just let that shit slide, so here’s how this is going to work: I’m gonna keep fuckin’ you good ‘n’ hard ‘n’ deep, and you’re gonna take it for as long as I say. When I decide that you’ve learned your lesson I’ll let you cum, and if you go over the edge before then there will be consequences.”

And you know he’s as good as his word.

Despite him saying all of this between pants, sharp curses, and a few breathy moans there’s no way in hell you actually stand a chance of outlasting him. Even if his stamina wasn’t god-tier and his will just as solid, pure pettiness would see him holding out if it meant keeping you on the edge. And as for those ‘consequences’, you cannot even begin to guess at what they may be, but a part of you really, really wants to find out. You’re positive you’ll enjoy it—maybe not as much as him, but you’ll still have your fun.

Before you can make up your mind about whether or not your defiance would be worth it, his hand is leaving your neck to hold your hip steady. You gasp slightly, already lamenting the loss of pressure, only to have the breath knocked out of you by his next thrust. The force of it sends you reeling, with the only thing keeping you from face-planting being the hold your man has on you. Instead your sweat-slicked body is shoved further up the desk in a move that would’ve been extremely uncomfortable if you weren’t already so gone.

Wanting a bit more agency, Javi grabs up the length of cloth that dangles between you; his movements do not falter as he shores up his grip with a few twisting motions before pushing into you again and again and again. He sets up a brutal pace that sees his hip bones digging into the plush of your ass and his balls slapping against you with every forward push. This is the only bit of attention that anything other than your hole has received since leaving the party and you damn near sob at the brief flashes of stimulation.

You’re not even sure what nonsense is pouring out of your mouth at this point, but if it’s anything like the disjointed garble that’s currently floating around in your skull then it’s one flaming wreck of a mess. You can hardly go by Javier’s reaction as you’re pretty sure that you could be singing lullabies and he’d still be into it. He just loves to hear you—it doesn’t particularly matter what sounds you’re making so long as he knows they’re a result of the pleasure he’s bring you. You’re much the same honestly, though listening to him turn the velvety syllables of his native tongue into growls and groans in the heat of his passion is its own type of torture. His voice is already an aphrodisiac in its own right, but when he’s fallen as deeply into his lust as he has into you it becomes something otherworldly.

Your man’s words slowly begin to shift from admonishments for your earlier behavior into praise for “–taking your cock like un buen pequeño amor,” and you can only hope that means you’ll get what you need sooner rather than later. ((a good little love))

Time stops making sense as he continues to take you. You’re both hyperaware of its passage and not, with seconds impossibly feeling like hours, but the minutes they bleed into hardly even registers. Your need for release becomes this all-encompassing thing that dictates your every move, breath, and thought. It creates a thrumming want that invades all of your senses until there’s nothing outside of it. Even Javi’s voice becomes little more than a cluster of sounds that you’re just barely able to perceive, though one phrase breaks through the haze every time he says it:

“Don’t you cum, cariño.”

His words are both boon and bane.

They’re the only bit of sense to be found in the symphony of needy sounds and hammering hearts and the repetitive meeting of flesh, and yet at the same time they are the very chains that hold you back from the one thing you need most. Your body is demanding, screaming, begging for this to end one way or another, and soon. You’re sure that each new thrust will bring about your end, and yet you hold yourself back even as your legs shake from exertion and your arms ache from the strain. Those four words will not allow you to do any less.

When the tension in your arms lessens you honestly think the limbs have finally gone numb, but then you’re being pulled up against Javier’s hard chest and you realize he actually let go of the scarf. The jarring pace he’d been keeping up slows to a gentle roll that makes you grind into him with a desperate whimper before he stills his hips altogether. His lack of movement has you rutting against him like some crazed beast, but the only thing this nets you is a throaty chuckle that makes you throb all the more.

“Tan ansioso,” he breathes against your ear as well-toned arms pin you flush against an equally muscled chest. This leaves you unable to do anything more than whine, much to your annoyance and his continued amusement. “You really want to cum, don’t you?” ((so eager))

“Fuck! Javi, you know I do–”

“Then say the word, mi corazón.” ((sweetheart))

“Please.”

“‘Please’, what?”

“Please let me cum.”

The moan he lets out at your words comes from somewhere deep in his gut making you shiver with your want. The only thing better than hearing him make such deliciously wicked sounds is knowing that you’re their cause. He’s always so quick to tell you that he’s the only one that can make you feel the way that you do—and it’s true, he definitely gotten you addicted to his particular brand of carnality, but it’s fine since you know it goes both ways.

Javier presses a sloppy, open mouthed kiss to your nape before nipping the skin there. “So good,” he purrs as his left hand snakes up to rub at your steadily leaking core. “Un bebé tan bueno para mí.” ((such a good baby for me))

His hand passes through the mess, smearing your arousal further until he’s zeroing in on your most sensitive area; all the while your hips wiggle against him in a desperate bid to rut into his palm properly. Unfortunately the movement does little for either of you aside from frustrating you further.

“There you go, teasing me again.”

“‘M not trying to,” you tell him, “just wanna feel good—wanna make us both feel good…”

Your trailing sigh turns into a moan when he thrust against you again. The movement is spastic, an involuntary response to the way that your walls flutter around him. He swears lowly before releasing you completely and pulling out; the sensation of his thick cock leaving you is good for all of two seconds before you realize that he’s not pushing back into you. For one panicked moment you think that he’s going to leave you tied up and aching, but before you can even form the first syllable of your plea he’s freeing your arms and turning you to face him. It’s the first time you’ve gotten a clear look at him since being bent over the desk and you’re pleased to find that he looks just as much of a mess as you do. Hair mussed, lips parted ever so enticingly, cheeks flushed, and dewy skin glistening so prettily under the warm-hued lights—he’s sex personified in this moment and the sight somehow makes you burn for him all the more.

Javier is drinking you in just as readily, being, as always, especially taken with your mouth. Heavily lidded eyes track your lips movements as you wet them, and when you bite into the plush skin he lets out a shuddering breath. A muttered “Fuck” is all the warning you get before his lips are crashing into yours while hands eagerly grip at your hips to pull you flush to him. The heat of his cock is like a firebrand between you, and the press of it against your skin has you instinctively writhing against it.

Your movements leave him shivering as he exhales harshly—the first sign that his self-control is starting to slip.

“Get on the bed, mi amor—wanna look in your eyes while I fuck you, wanna see you fall apart…” He breathes the words against your lips before taking the bottom one between his teeth just as you had a moment ago. The sting of his bite is soothed away by a swipe of his tongue before he’s kissing you again.

Somehow he has enough presence of mind to get you both moving and soon you feel something solid, yet yielding hitting the back of your legs. You’re just wobbly enough for the disturbance to take you off of your feet and Javier readily follows you down. So close to the one thing you both want, need, the kisses grow sloppier and more hurried. It takes a few moments for you both to get into a more settled position, but as soon as you do he’s lubing up again before pushing into you completely with one long stroke.

Your breath catches at the feeling of being full once again while he lets out a sound that’s half contented sigh, half growl, with the latter completely overtaking the former when you roll your hips up to meet his. The pace he sets is far less grueling than it had been when he was taking you from behind, but it’s no less maddening for the change. Long, deep strokes end with a languid snap that has him hitting something inside of you that leaves you damn near sobbing every time. It doesn’t take long for you to get back to that same level of torturous pleasure that you’d been drowning in minutes before and soon you’re clawing at his back and calling out his name like it’s the only word left in your lexicon.

All the while your eyes are locked with one another’s, mostly at his insistence. When he said that he wanted to see you fall apart he meant it; a firm hand against the side of your face keeps you from turning away while tutting words part your lids whenever they flutter shut for longer than a few seconds.

“You’re doing so well, mi amor, so good,” he tells you. His words are slightly slurred and you know he’s just as drunk on you as you are on him. The thought leaves your walls clenching and he hisses at the added tightness. His pace quickens as he drops his head down into the space between your shoulder and your neck. Kisses, nips, and sucks carve a path upwards until the warmth of his breath is ghosting over your ear. “Touch yourself for me.”

It’s an order that you’re all too happy to follow.

Your fingers quickly move down to work against your sloppy sex and you can only hope that the whole ‘no cumming until I say so’ thing is no longer in effect because if not you are in so much trouble. With everything going on you’re only gonna be able to last about a literal minute and that’s being hella generous and rounding way up, honestly. Javier knows this, knows you and your body damn near better than you do some days. He sees it in the way your eyes glint with desperation, can feel it in the way your whole body tenses just so, can hear it in the pant of breaths that come quicker, shallow. Part of you worries that he’ll drag things out just to punish you further—or worse yet, leave you wound up and wanting—but a bigger part of you knows he’s not that cruel. Javier always makes sure to give you what you need and right now you need to cum, badly, and so does he if the fevered look in his eyes is anything to go by.

“Yes, babe, yes. Just like that, fuck me back—Joder! Tan buena…” His muttered praises become more and more scattered as his hips begin to meet yours faster and faster until— ((fuck! so good))

“Do it for me, mi amor. Cum.”

Your body doesn’t hesitate to follow the simple command, and the orgasm that rocks your frame is almost blinding in its intensity. A wordless cry rips itself from your throat as bliss—white-hot and all-consuming—skitters across your every nerve setting them alight. All the while you hold on to the man that still hovers above you as if he’s the only thing tethering you to this plane, and for all you know he is. After all, you’re pretty sure that one cannot experience something so world-shattering as this and not ascend to some higher form of consciousness, if only for a moment.

For his part, Javier shudders and bucks his way through his own release just as you’re coming to the end of yours. Your nails follow the length of his spine as you watch him fall apart—eyes pinched shut, chest heaving, lips parted under hard pants—he rarely looks more beautiful than when he’s cumming and the sight is one that you’re positive you’ll never get tired of seeing.

Kisses are traded between shaky breaths as you both work your way through the last of the aftershocks. They’re sweet, lingering things that are seemingly at odds with everything that preceded them—only not really as he’s always like this once your games have come to their end. All loved up, he likes to keep you close so that he can dote on you as much as you’ll allow him to. Feeling safe, warm, and sated, gentle strokes of his hands against your cooling flesh and murmured declarations of love are the lullaby that sees you drifting off into slumber.

© thepuckishrogue/TheViperQueen, 2019-2023 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

#((Immy does fan fiction: The Yeehaws))#here comes the fiiiiic~ lol #javier escuella x reader #javier escuella x gn!reader #javier escuella x gender neutral reader #javier escuella x you #javier escuella x y/n

42 notes · View notes

alicealder · 1 year ago

Text

i. "cast iron skillet" - jason isbell and the 400 unit // ii. tonight i'm someone else: essays; the end of longing - chelsea hodson // iii. "rx (medicate)" - theory of a deadman

( gdocs version since tumblr beta is super annoying )

quick stats !

full name: alice audrey alder

date of birth: september 17th, 1966

zodiac big three: virgo sun, pisces moon, libra rising, leo venus

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: home of sexual

ethnicity: white

nationality: us american

religion: agnostic

languages spoken: english (5), spanish (4), latin (3)

enneagram: 2w3

mbti: enfj

temperament: phlegmatic

alignment: true neutral

refresher !

triggers: shitty parenting, the briefest implication of homophobia

Mom, Annabelle “Anne” Alder, kinda really sucks. I guess we’ll go with the version where she’s not a televangelist even though televangelism is super fun and was booming in the 1980s, I just think we know the other version better. Still a lil menty ill tho.

But Alice’s daddy, Allen, and sister, Alice 1.0, died a week before she was born so you know <3 hard to blame her tbh <3

Still weird that she was like “okay if I can’t have Alice 1.0 I’ll have Alice 2.0”

Momma Alder was like ��you’re gonsta be perfect just like ur dad!” and Alice was like “okay how” and momma was like “uhhhh get good grades, be successful, marry a rich guy, be hot” and Alice was like “okay bet”

Mamma Alder also married a rich guy, our bestie Brian, who was like… 20 years her senior. So she had an affair with the poolboy. But honestly that stuff wasn’t too important in the great grand scheme of things – Brian was, though!

Anyway, Alice totes got good grades and was hot! But a rich guy wasn’t in her cards :\ Maybe a rich girl though!

Is Lux rich?

Fell in love with childhood friend Lux Lewis in late 1981 and it lasted around a year.. So that’s basically late sophomore - junior on her end, late freshman - sophomore on Lux’s.

Gradually phased out as Lux got closer to another lesbian we know 🤨(only we don’t know it IC 😔). But Alice was still Lux’s little bitch for the time being.

Idk if the Wonderland dance happened in this timeline... In any case, Lux going bitch mode after the lesbian ‘rumor’ was pinned on Alice still happened! So did the fight between Alice and Anne, though that was a few more months in. So did it getting worse when Alice was like *coach ben vc* hear that, furry little friends?! I’m GAYYY. *end vc* So did Brian leaving to go to a five-star retirement home.

Anyway, a slight change is that Brian paid the tuition, but Alice still went to live with Indigo… for the time being 🤨

update time !

triggers: drugs. so many drugs., some shitty parenting thrown in there considering brian’s involvement and (arguably!) indigo’s solution

Weed and alcohol weren’t entirely foreign – they were both present at basically all the parties thrown – but Alice had never partaken in them beyond a slight buzz. Up until, of course, the winter of 1983. Just to balance things out, right? Just to make the world seem a little chiller during the crux of her final year in high-school, right?

But all of the shit that came with it – related to Lux or not – eventually brought it to a null spot. And Brian (who didn’t think to ask anything about it), ever the caring father figure, offered what used to help him through his rough patches! A little pill!

As of right now, I’m basically just typing out the timeline I wrote down. So with nothing smooth to say, Alice found herself a regular Vicodin user by the Spring of 1984.

And, while all things preceding the date were stressful enough, that brings us to entering college! Yay! Brian’s started paying tuition and there was that huge blowout and she’s living with Indigo now, so on and so forth. Anyway, now that that’s been refreshed:

Fall of 1984… Maybe someone would point to Lux and the bullying. Maybe someone would point to Anne Alder, suddenly without child and husband. Maybe someone would point to the lack of a stable home. But the truth was that it was none of that, and it was all of that.

The first few months, Alice was doing her best to keep up. She was still keeping her grades way up, she was still working hard to maintain her friendships, she was still trying to keep up a semblance of a life – she would have been dubbed ‘functioning.’ But something… just broke. Seemingly out of nowhere, something cracked.

*It happened slowly, then all at once. General stress – stress that seemed normal – snapped. There were voices and delusions and–

–Brian’s donations weren’t enough anymore. After searching, after a chance finding, Alice crossed the snow line…

And it… worked. The stress had dissipated and life… it was so much better. As long as she rolled the snow up on the 8hr schedule it needed, life was beautiful!

For a while.

When Winter rolled around, it was plain for Indigo to see that Alice was not just smoking doobage. In fact, she wasn’t just smoking anything anymore – not if the cotton ball and shoelace had anything to say about it!

Thus, Indigo (real name: Angela), past groupie (who “Angie” by the Stones had clearly been written about) who had seen the dangerous outcomes firsthand, was… in essence, like, “Get your shit together!”

But if some missing money, pinpoint pupils, and a nod off that led to a close call with godsmack had anything to say about it… Alice was not, in fact, getting her shit together.

Indigo had never planned on being a mother, and though she was much more caring and empathetic than her sister, she wasn’t prepared for… how to deal with this (unless it was Eric Clapton who clearly got clean for her). At the end of the day, is anyone? Especially when the main source of said kid’s cost of living was coming from an indirect enabler? (See: Brian <3)

Not knowing what else to do if Alice wouldn’t agree to seek help, she made the hesitant decision to kick her out.

Lucky for Alice, there was one vacant house in Cherry where someone she knew had been able to claim squatter’s rights – that someone being Oliver (who, outside of alcohol and weed, could be considered a surprising straight-edge given what he’d seen his mom go through at the hands of SUD).

Yes, I’m connecting my two characters. Yes, I am using this cop-out. *Ariana Grande vc* And what about it?

When Spring rolled around, her role in ‘the gang’ was nearly non-existent, existing more as a ghost than a person. Which was about how life was going. Moving through it like a ghost, disconnected from the Earth, watching from a state of limbo, becoming a distant memory.

r/im14andthisisdeep

She still managed to get by in CCU, though not without strife and sliding grades. Speedballing helped, but even then, she was distracted.

Oliver tried giving her the movie star speech… which didn’t work, but it was worth a shot!

Fall came and so did sophomore year’s tuition payment… some of which was pocketed and spent on things that should not have been important as they felt.

Outside of that, it was largely uneventful. Just repetition of how life had been for the past… year and a half? But it wasn’t as fun as it used to be. And most bridges had burned themselves (hell, save for Brian, every bridge with family had burned down). And there would never be anything fun again, would there be? She stays in the routine, it’s normal. She breaks it and tries to get sober? At best, it’s boring. At worst, it’s hell on Earth. And she would choose routine over that any day! If she’d already lost most everything she could lose, why bother? The only things she had left were school (and she would be on academic probation in Spring – if she were kicked out… who cared anymore?), an empty house (was there much of a difference between an empty house – that desperately needed repairs – with one guy and a street?), the few bridges she hadn’t burned (a lighter would come eventually), and a beating heart (did it matter anymore?). Burn it down.

That was the prevailing thought until one Ford Freese entered the picture in early December, an offer to pay for a 30-day inpatient stay over the CCU winter break.

…winter break totally isn’t for deus ex machina purposes!

In any other case, she would’ve declined the offer with enthusiasm – some of the only enthusiasm she still showed! But the one thing she hadn’t thought of? The one thing she hadn’t thought to add to her list of things that could be stripped from her? Her freedom. Aha, don’t arrest me! Aha, I’m too sexy to go to jail for 7+ years!

Let it be known that he never actually threatened arrest – or anything even close! – but you see a man with a badge…

She entered rehab on the first day of their winter break. The methadone helped with the detox, but not with the… worth. Nonetheless, she walked out of rehab two days after CCU had begun the Spring semester.

A month later, she had ‘completed’ the outpatient program – during which she’d been doing her damndest to get off academic parole. Without any funding for something like a methadone clinic – or, I don’t know, a therapist? – it was her and her willpower!

And, credit where credit is due, staying sober due to a sense of obligation? Of ‘you did this grand gesture for me, I can do this one thing for you’? Well, it was working! Enough to get her to NA!

But, even nearly eight months later, everything feels rather askew. She’s part of the gang again, not a ghost… but is she? She’s back to her role of ‘great student’... but is she? Lux has lost her influence… but has she?

Well… Hollywoo Stars and Celebs! What Do They Know? Do they Know Things? Let’s Find Out!

updated tl;dr !

Alice started doing drugs about eight months earlier than her Cherry 1.0/2.0 counterparts.

She developed a tolerance to Vicodin and didn’t have the benefit of seeing Lux’s ghost because… Lux isn’t dead (or presumed dead), so she moved up the ladder of gateway drugs and, following a bit of a menty b in her freshman year of college, she started using smack.

Eventually got kicked out of Indigo’s house for understandable reasons and went to squat live with Oliver (deus ex machina!).

Yanno. shit happens!

Was not successfully enticed to enter recovery until Ford Freese offered to pay for rehab (and, even then, it was just because “oh this guy has a badge I don’t want to go to jail im so sexy for that aha”). Got clean.

Has been sober for nearly eight months now… mainly out of obligation!

But my favorite form of character growth is character descent :elmosmile:

5 notes · View notes

thegenderfluidace · 1 year ago

Note

I'm doing well!

and don't worry about it, I did send the ask pretty late after all

also, I'm glad I found out your pronouns through the reblog, I was kinda wondering how all that works for you with you being genderfluid

but again , just to be sure, using they/them is for you is fine, right?

That’s good!! Still feel bad for replying pretty late tho

And yepp they/them is the safest bet since they’re neutral, but for the most part I don’t care too much which pronouns you use, course preference changes with the gender which is why neutral is the safest but really use whatever and if I’m uncomfortable with it at the moment I’ll correct you so no biggy

1 note · View note

drowsyspace128 · 1 year ago

Text

Well I guess as with any new account I should make an introduction post,

*warning my posts in here will probably end up being on the “mature” side so if you are a minor, do not interact with those posts, they will be flagged at the top, my non mature posts will be co-posted on another blog if I remember to but this one specifically will be a no minor area.*

Hello all, My irl name is Hayden (but if I ever hear you call me that on here I will find you) for now ill go by Drowsy on this page, a good gender neutral name(?). Im 19 as of June 10th but due to….issues… I definitely act older than i am at some points so dont be alarmed if i suddenly start talking about 70s-80s era stuff like old tech, i fucking love old computers.

I mention gender neutral because I am currently questioning, but I am most likely either genderfluid and/or nonbinary. I am admittedly male by birth so if you want to use what would be most familiar towards me then he/him is fine for my pronouns, but really anything is fine, I’ll never hate on someone for misgendering me as I don’t even know what my gender is.

My sexuality would best be described to my current knowledge as somewhere between pansexual and omnisexual as I will love someone no matter what their genitals happen to be, but I will still like them for it, it just wont be one of the things I consider for whether or not I like someone in the first place.

As for romantic affiliation, I would like to consider myself as polyamorous as I am completely fine with having multiple partners, and my partners having others as well. However if I were to date someone monogamous I would respect that and stay with just them, polyamory is only fine if all partners are consenting to all other partners in my opinion

(I am currently single tho so sadge)

Now that the identity situation is explained, I would like to describe myself as a person beyond my gender or sexuality, I am a very obvious nerd, I like video games, model kits, and tabletop rpgs. I’ve been in love with fantasy and sci-fi for as long as I can remember.I used to do bad in elementary because i would spend all my day drawing dragons and armor and weapons and anything else that could possibly be considered fantasy. Even now, I am constantly writing down new ideas for home-brewed rpg creatures and monsters. This page even will eventually be used to post about my upcoming worldbuilding project “the forged world”(WIP title liable to change).

I like planes, and birds, and really anything that flys through the air, it’s honestly starting to become a problem with how much I’m distracted by a random bird flying by. Im currently going to college for aircraft maintenance so that one day i will be able to work on them with my own hands, i cant wait.

Ummmm so….. Name(:/), age, gender, sexuality, nerd, planes….. i dont think i missed anything. I probably did but this is geting long so ill end it here. Thanks for reading all the way down here if you did, love ya💜🤍

#coming out #introductory post

0 notes

blushiinghoney · 3 years ago

Text

"giving up" | ●.●

summary: you give up on liking him.

content: angst, gender neutral, house neutral, so neutral i don't even mention who this is about (i do use he/him pronouns for them tho).

warnings: a curse word or two?, small mentions of injuries and blood (nothing graphic or descriptive), my english.

a/n: okay so this just came to me quickly so i had to write it, i didn't even have a character in mind so that's why i don't even mention any name, so it can be about whoever you want! anyways, let me know what you think!

m a s t e r l i s t

[do not repost or copy my works to other sites]

part 2 - part 3

You've liked him for two years now. It all started because of your friend. You were just playing around, running away from her when you tripped and fell, hurting your knee. That's when he approached you, giving you a tissue so you could clean the bleeding on your knee.

That's how you started to like him, he showed you his kindness even though you were a stranger to him. And because you liked him you'd always walk around following him, like a puppy to its owner. You kept doing it for two years, even if he said he didn't like your company, even if he would say mean and harsh things to you just so you'd leave him alone, but none of that mattered because you liked him.

Until you finally decided you had enough. It wasn't an easy decision, you were so used to like him that it felt weird to try and stop doing it. But you were in your last year now, you needed to start to think of your future, and you, unfortunately, realized he wasn't included in it.

For the past few days, you had stopped walking after him, stopped trying to study with him, stopped trying to sit next to him in class, stopped doing the thing you'd normally do for him. But, honestly, would he even notice?

Yes.

Did he notice that you didn't care anymore?

Yes.

Even though you decided on this you still felt like you should say something to him. I mean, you told him you liked him so it was only fair to say you were going to not like him anymore.

So, after classes had finished you approached him where he was sitting with his friends.

"Hi, uh, can I talk to you for a minute, in private, please?", you said nervously.

"Urgh, what the hell do you want now uh? If you're going to confess again you can do it here, we've already heard it a million times, and I've rejected you more than that", he shrugged his shoulders, and his friends laughed like he had said a hilarious joke. If it was two years ago you would've been so heartbroken, but now you didn't even flinch. Did he notice how your eyes were still bright even after he said that? Did he notice how you still smiled after he "joked" about rejecting you?

Yes. Yes.

"No, that's not it. But I get it, I-I'll be quick", you took a deep breath and then smiled at him while you said, "I just wanted to say I'm giving up on liking you, I know you've never had any kinds of feelings for me, and it's okay, really, you don't own me anything but I'm tired of liking you, tired of trying to make you like me-"

What? No. You can't do that. I like-

"What the fuck are you talking about?", he interrupted you.

"-so I'm giving up. Thank you for these two years, you were important to me but now you won't be anything but a stranger. Goodbye.", you were still smiling. It didn't hurt because you knew you were doing the right thing for yourself.

How could you smile so beautifully like that? And then say those words?

As you walked away with a weight lifted off your shoulders, you didn't even notice him looking at you full of guilt and regret, and his friends sat there surprised without being able to utter a word.

Why does my heart hurt?

Why did I hurt your heart?

1K notes · View notes

lotties-ashwagandha · 3 years ago

Text

DIOR

pairing: billie dean howard x reader

word count: 1165

notes and warnings: the only warning would be dogs idk,, he’s a cute little thing tho he’s not violent or anything. also i had so much fun with this even tho a good portion of it is just the reader eating billie’s leftover pasta lmao. also i used gender neutral pronouns for the reader.

summary: billie brings you home a pomeranian from the shelter because you’ve been spamming her with dog videos and pictures for months and dropping hints that you want a dog <3

You stood at the fridge, contemplating if you should eat one of the apples fresh from the store or your girlfriend’s leftovers from the night before. You were sure she wouldn’t mind, and even if she did, you would buy her extra the next time you went out to eat. Besides, it wasn’t as if the food had been bought for a special occasion – you assured yourself that if it had been a holiday or her birthday or the end of the world, you wouldn’t eat her leftovers.

Then again… smoked chicken pasta was one of your favorites (A/N: I’m laughing so hard at this whole thing why am I lusting over smoked chicken pasta I’m literally VEGAN), and you’d gotten it from one of your favorite restaurants.

You heard the garage door open and realized how quickly your decision had to be made – as fast as you could, you snatched the pasta from the fridge, ripping open the container and skillfully twirling the most extravagant bite of pasta you’d ever laid eyes upon (A/N: I PROMISE I’LL STOP NOW LMAO). The garage door was closing, there were about five large bites of pasta left, if you could only–

The front door shut: she was home, and you would be caught guilty in the act.

You slammed the container haphazardly shut, throwing it in the fridge, tossing the fork in the sink and beginning to spray it with water and swallowing your mouthful of pasta.

You heard Billie calling through the house, letting you know she was home, and you smiled, though you felt little regret over eating her pasta.

“I’m in the kitchen!” you called, and heard her footsteps as she approached. The door to the kitchen swung open. A gust of her perfume filled the air, floral and yet the slightest bit sharp, sweet. Accompanying the scent was something you couldn’t quite place, close to the smell of floor cleaner. It was overriding the scent of tobacco that usually accompanied her perfume, and it took you off guard.

Her arms wrapped around you from behind, her head coming to rest on your shoulder as she watched you rinse the fork.

“Where have you been?” you asked, drying your hands and turning to face her. “And why are you home so early? I thought you were going to help the family with the ghost in their basement that keeps changing the television channel to Teddy?”

She chuckled, shaking her head. “I got done early…” she trailed off, and you wondered if she was going to continue speaking when after a moment she kissed you and you felt your nerves spike, briefly pondering how after four years her mere presence was still enough to give you such a rush. “Come out to the garage with me.”

“Why? What’s in the garage?”

She was hardly able to contain her smile, taking your hand and pulling you toward the door. “You’ll see. There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

“And you left them in the garage? Billie, what’s going on?”

She only gave your hand a squeeze, pausing at the entrance to the garage. “Now, before we go out there, I want you to know that this is entirely your fault.”

“Oh my god, Billie, what is in the garage?” the whole exchange had been extremely off-putting. Her words clashed with her beaming expression, the mischievous grin that seemed permanently stuck to her lips, the wink she gave you.

She acted as if you hadn’t spoken. “Maybe I should make you close your eyes…”

“Billie!”

She finally relented and opened the door, leading you down the steps, where you heard rustling, and she clapped her hands.

A little ball of white fluff rounded the corner and shot around the car, running full-speed at where you and your girlfriend stood, pausing to bark at you in a squealy, high-pitched tone. Before you was a white Pomeranian, his tiny feet padding excitedly on the floor of the garage.

Shocked, you turned back to Billie, giving her a skeptical look, though you were smiling all the same. “You didn’t…”

She nodded, bathing in the excitement that filled your features. “I got the slightest hunch that you might want a dog after you sent me seven puppy videos in five minutes and started sending me those ads with all of the dogs in the pound that look like they crawled out from a sewer. I got him from the rescue you were telling me about a few days ago.”

“Wow, you really are a psychic!” You teased, knowing how her expression would contort in annoyance at the use of the word psychic.

“A medium, dear.”

You ignored her, turning back to the yapping dog and holding him in your arms. He snuggled into you, exhausted from being taken in the car, and he let out a small whine. The dog was soft to the touch with enough fur to insulate a mountain range and two beady little eyes that were fixed on you. As you continued to carry him, you noticed an odd aroma coming from him, and his fur was the slightest bit damp. “Billie? Why does the dog smell like you?”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean he smells like your perfume.”

“Oh,” she was clearly relieved at your rephrased claim. “He smelled like floor cleaner so I sprayed a bit of Dior on him. He wears it nicely, doesn’t he?”

“Billie! You can’t put perfume on dogs!”

It took her a moment to process what you’d said, and she froze, an unlit cigarette almost to her lips.

“You can’t smoke in front of the little fluff either!” You laughed, taking her cigarette. “Here, hold him while I go start him a bath.”

As you handed her the dog, she tensed, her features contorting the slightest bit in disgust – as long as you’d known her, Billie had always regarded dogs as unnecessarily messy and cretinous. She never failed to remind you that the last dog she had had urinated in the full laundry basket and had chewed up her most expensive pair of heels. It seemed to be a testament to her love for you that she had even considered adopting the Pomeranian, let alone brought him home for you, and even her mishap with the perfume had proved to be unusually charming.

Beaming, almost glowing in excitement, you left the garage.

Billie held the dog to face her at arm's length as if it had just been baptized. She raised her eyebrows, meeting the fluff’s eyes and clearing her throat. “Y/N took my cigarette, did you see that? That was because of you. You better be worth it… Y/N ate my pasta, too, I could taste it when I kissed them. Can you believe that? Bullshit, isn’t it?”

The creature only barked in response (though he seemed to agree), and she took it into the house. “Darling?” she called, “I think we should name him Dior!”

101 notes · View notes

notepadsandtealeaves · 3 years ago

Text

K. Bokuto || Say My Name A Thot’s Thoughts 💦

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

|| ao3 version | hq tag | m.lists | main blog ||

↠ Requested By: This damned thirst dream that won’t leave me be until I write it out ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: So very NSFW ((*whacks minors on the nose with a rolled up newspaper* No! Not for you!!)) ↠ Chronology: Post time skip. ↠ CWs/TWs: Any applicable warnings can be found in the tag list under the cut. ↠ Betas? Lmaoooooo… ↠ Total WC: 2.3k~

“I know you know it, sweetheart—so say it. Say my fucking name, right the fuck now.”

He’ll get what he wants—even if he has to fuck it out of you…

I want this man to snap my spine like a gd glow stick. That’s it, that’s the tweet.

((p*rn with v. little plot ahead, in case you somehow couldn’t figure that out lol))

💦 Tags: Reader uses they/them pronouns (tho I don’t think Reader’s pronouns actually come up in this? dk how I managed that *shrugs*) | Reader has ambiguous anatomy | Penetrative sex (missionary that turns into a mating press, Reader receiving) | Rough-ish sex (some grabbing of the face, and like he’s really laying into you, but it doesn’t get too heavy) | ((so maybe it’s more ‘hard’ than ‘rough’?? idk, I’ll let you lot decide)) | ((also, Bo’s a lil bit feral in this one, ngl)) | Some dom/sub undertones | ((my subby ass is predictable as hell, so are you even surprised at this point?? lmao)) | A smattering of ✨ ~Size kink~ ✨️ | ((Bo’s a big, big boy with a big, BIG dick, but I digress)) | Use of petnames (pretty baby, sweetheart, that kinda beat) | Also Bo’s got a bit of voice kink—who saw that one coming?? | ((me, I did, because I just made it a thing lol)) | Unprotected Sex because is fic, and is hot in fic. Don’t the thing irl unless you take proper precautions and discuss it with your partner well beforehand, mmkay? Mmkay… | Also what probably amounts to an unrealistic amount of cum, but look—I’ve got my kinks, okay? Lmao | Also, also—potentially OOC Bokuto if you canon him to be soft ‘n’ sweet in bed. He can be, and is a good portion of the time, but like… sometimes he just wants to bully you a bit while he fucks you into the mattress, yanno? | Also, also, also—unintentional cockwarming | Sappy ending because OP is a giant bb that just wants to be loved

“Bo-Bokuto, gods, please,” you damn near sob, the pleasure coursing through the whole of your body setting your hands to feebly grasping at the sheets, your face, and anything else you can reach in an attempt to ground yourself.

For his part the man above you is distinctly unamused, though for the life of you, you cannot figure out why that is–

“That’s not my name, baby. Not when I’m taking you like this.”

Oh. That.

In all honesty, you don’t think anyone can blame you for the slip up—after all, the pair of you were little more than acquaintances just a week ago. Sure, you’d been keeping up a line of friendly banter on those not-so-rare occasions when he decided to grace your little deli with his presence, and yeah you could reliably call him a regular at this point, but still you’d hardly been expecting him to ask you out when he bounded through the door last Friday. What’s more you didn’t think that your very first date would go so well that he would be taking you on another just a few days later, and finally a third one two days after that. To say that the pair of you are speed running your relationship is an understatement, and yet somehow things don’t feel rushed in the slightest.

This is more than likely due to what you’ve now dubbed the ‘Bokuto Effect’.

Said effect seems to lend an air of stability to actions that would otherwise leave you recoiling. And how can it not when he’s just so… him. Kind and sweet, caring and compassionate… You may not have known him for long, but you’re thoroughly convinced that there’s not a malicious bone in this man’s body. This is why you allowed him to follow you up to your apartment tonight, despite it having been technically less than a week of your being together—gods, are you even together? You have no idea as you’ve yet to actually talk about anything even remotely close to that, much less bothered about putting a label on it. There’s no time to consider something that ultimately feels tangential when you’re in the middle of falling at a breakneck speed.

(You can only hope that he feels the same, this quickening that has you casting aside a lifetime’s worth sensibility and letting him in like this. It’s hard to tell when he’s always smiling, always laughing, always keeping it light and bubbly and wonderful…)

In the now Bokuto—no, Koutaro—parts his lips around a particularly vicious looking grin. “I know you know it, sweetheart—so say it. Say my fucking name, right the fuck now.”

You try, you swear you do, but when he’s drilling so deeply into you, his thick head scraping against that one spot with every drag of his thick cock… words become understandably difficult. You slur out something with roughly the same composition as the appellation (you think) but valiant though they are, your efforts are not enough to appease him. The sound of his laugh paired with the glint in his eyes has you shivering underneath him. Who knew he could wear ‘cocky bastard’ so well?

“Aww, listen to you,” he coos, condescension dripping from every syllable. “Cock drunk already, baby? Can’t say my name because you can’t remember it, huh? Well lemme help you out.”

Suddenly the legs that had been tossed over his broad (so, so damn broad—fuck) shoulders are being pushed up against your chest with the whole of his impressive weight following closely behind. Your resulting scream is loud enough that you’re sure to get a noise complain or several, and maybe even a visit from the cops if your neighbors confuse your bliss for a legitimate cry for help. But those are all distant worries, things that cannot find a permanent home in a mind that is far too clouded with lust and a resounding chant of more-more-MORE.

You claw at his back as he bottoms out over and over again, marking territory that you’re not entirely sure is yours to claim; the sounds that are pouring out of you all the while would be mortifying, you’re sure, if you weren’t so lost in the sex fog. For his part, the man above you is just as vocal, with a series of hisses, groans, and chuckles falling past his lips as he works at dismantling you, piece by needy piece. It seems to take him a few moments to remember his original goal—or maybe it’s more so a case of an artist admiring his work—but once he does…

“Kou- “-tar- “-o.”

He fucks the syllables into you, growling them directly in your face each time his hips come to press flush against the plush of your ass and thighs. He repeats it again and then a third time before he palms the bottom half of your face. That he can cover such an impressive area with just one hand should probably unnerve you, but as it stands the size disparity only makes you hotter. You moan into his grasp only to have the sound scale up into a squeak when he smooshes your cheeks inwards with a flex of his fingers. The movement sees your lips jutting and puckering in what you’re sure has to be an extremely unflattering matter, but if he minds the view he doesn’t show it.

“Come on, pretty baby,” he starts, voice surprisingly even (or maybe not, given his job’s stamina requirements), “I know you’re feelin’ good, but that doesn’t excuse your bad behavior. Now say it with me—Kou-tar-o.”

“Kou- Kou—ahh~! Fuck, so good–”

He tuts at that, his grip going that tiny bit tighter. “Focus, baby. Kou-”

“Kou-” you repeat, the breathy quality of your voice reducing the sound to little more than a pant.

“-tar-”

“-o.”

“-oo-ooo shit!”

When you feel the first brush of his fingers against your sex the only thing that keeps you from vaulting straight off of the bed is the sheer size of him. You’d been so focused on getting things right (on giving him what he wants) that you hadn’t noticed his free hand moving to what little space there is to be found between you. Years of honing his craft has left the thing roughened with thick callouses; they had felt a bit odd against your own smoother palm when he’d held your hand earlier in the day, but feeling them now… The scrape is addicting, adding an extra delicious layer to the pleasure of him working over your core with a precision that shouldn’t be possible as this is the first time you’ve been together like this–

Just yet another result of the Bokuto Effect, you suppose.

Koutaro kisses you deeply then, greedily filling up his lungs with your moans even as he empties out your own. When he breaks away with a growled pant some long seconds later he’s all wide, wild eyes and pouring praise.

“That’s good, baby—fuck, it sounds so good when you say it like that. K-keep doin’ that f’me, yeah? Keep screaming my name and I promise I’ll make you feel so, so good– Gods, you’re so good…”

And he’s as good as his word.

Every utterance of his name sees him taking you harder, impossibly deeper, and faster. It’s a loop of pleasure that is all too easy to fall into; your whimpering cries giving him what he wants as his rolling hips work hard to give you what you need. Sweat darkens the lighter strands of his hair at the base turning the pale silver into something more akin to slate, with the salty liquid occasionally breaking past his hairline to slide down the chiseled contours of his face. Knowing that he—a professional athlete who is in near godly shape—is fucking you hard enough to actually break a sweat is a heady thing, one that draws you yet closer to your end.

With your orgasm so close at hand your brain’s higher functions all but cease. All there is in this moment is you and him and the one word that is left to you: Koutaro.

“Sound so pretty,” he tells you before pressing a quick kiss to your mumbling lips. “Gods, babe, I’m close—so damn close, I– ah-ah-ah shit!” A particularly decadent roll of his hips nearly sees you both shaking apart right then and there, but he pulls back some—just a bit, just enough to draw things out a little longer.

“‘M close,” you tell him a short while later, your declaration sounding more like a lament than anything. You don’t want this to end, but at the same time you need it to if only for your poor battered hole’s sake. “Fuck, Kou, please…”

He softens a bit at that, those molten pools of gold syruping with something tender as he takes in your fucked out expression. “I got you, baby, I promise—you cum when you need to, ‘kay? Do it and I’ll be right there with you…”

This touch of gentleness is well at odds with the way he continues to take your body through its paces, and that dichotomy is the very thing that finally drives you over the edge. You manage to eke out his name one final time, and the choked cry is enough to see him falling into bliss with you. His hips stutter compulsively as rope after hot, thick rope of cum shoots into you. You can feel it squelching out of you every time he pulls back, the liquid gliding warm and viscous over your skin to drip down and pool underneath you in a small puddle that’s only going to get bigger when he pulls out—if he pulls out. It certainly doesn’t seems as if he plans to anytime soon, not with the way he’s kissing you all over your face and neck, the ministrations cut through with praise and little love-drunk giggles.

Once he’s come back to himself, Koutaro flips you both over so that you’re resting against his chest—single-handedly, a thing that’s way hotter than such a simple action should be—with his softened cock still tucked snugly inside of you. You can tell the exact moment his skin makes contact with the cooling wet spot because he yelps before jerking you both over to the left. You’re just as love-drunk as he is apparently because you cannot stop giggling all the while, giddy at the return of the silly antics that had drawn you to him in the first place (not that you mind seeing this other, darker, more mature version of him at all).

He tilts your head up towards him for a short, sweet kiss before asking, “What ya laughing at, pretty?”

“You.”

“Wow, rude.”

“Whatever, you like it,” you tease as you prop yourself up against his chest.

“I mean… yeah,” he concedes with a laugh, “but only because it’s you.”

There’s a tenderness to his gaze that turns the simple phrase into an admission and you find yourself ducking your head in an attempt to conceal just how flustered it’s left you. Suddenly the scar underneath his right pec is the most interesting thing in the world, and you find yourself lightly tracing over it as you mutter out a quiet, “Oh really?”

“Mmhmm.” As the onomatopoeic sound vibrates through his chest and up into you it somehow manages to carry far more truth than something more elegant could ever hope to—because it’s real, because it’s him.

“I like you a whole helluva lot, ____,” he continues on, “and if I’m being completely honest I’m really hoping that I didn’t screw things up.”

That’s enough to get you to look up again, and Koutaro takes in your confused look with a sheepish expression of his own. “Yanno, with all of this.” He gestures vaguely over the length of your still naked bodies. “I, um… I have a tendency to go full tilt when it’s something I want, but that’s not always the move when it comes to relationships—or am I presuming too much in calling what we’ve got a ‘relationship’? I don’t think I am, not with the way you’re smiling, but…”

You swat at his chest and earn another heart stopping kiss for your troubles. The man—your man?—underneath you gives you his signature megawatt grin, though it fades into something softer and more intimate as he regards you.

“I think you’ve already given me your answer, but just to make sure—can I call you mine?”

You trail your fingers over the expanse of his well-defined jawline before cradling his cheek in your palm as you tell him, “Only if I can call you mine, too.”

He huffs out a laugh as he nods a bit before nuzzling into your hand. “Yeah, definitely.”

“Good.”

“Great,” he amends.

“Fantastic, even.”

“Stupendous.”

“Amazing.”

“Wonderful…”

The pair of you carry on like that for a good while, exhausting your vocabularies and arguing over synonyms in between laughter and sweet kisses until rumbling stomachs demand their due.

|| Bonus

Imagine sitting in Bo’s lap while he feeds you your snack of choice. You’re both still nude because why the fuck not, tho he has opted to get you a nice, soft blanket to burrito in. So anyways, he feeding you while you guys are watching something on the television, and he finds said something v. interesting—so interesting, in fact, that the next morsel he feeds you gets shoved damn near into the back of your throat.

Cue him laughing out an apology for gagging you—“I didn’t do it on purpose, baby, I swear!”—and kissing away the compulsory tears that are streaming down your cheeks from nearly having your life ended by a set of ridiculously long fingers and a fucking Dorito or whatever the fuck he was feeding you lmfao…

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2021 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

#back at it again with the thirst lmao #anyways...#((Immy does fan fiction: The Volleybaes))#((💦 posts))#bokuto x reader #bokuto x gn!reader #bokuto x gender neutral reader #bokuto x you #bokuto x y/n #bokuto smut #bokuto imagine #bokuto scenario #haikyuu bokuto #haikyuu smut

225 notes · View notes

local-trashmouth · 3 years ago

Text

alright guys, I love the Bowers Gang content BUT WHERE IS THE PATRICK FLUFF

so, I decided to just write down my headcanons of sweet non-sexual stuff he does for his s/o :)

Warnings: None

Pronouns/Gender: for these general headcanons I'll always keep them neutral/unmentioned.

he goes to look at rings with you.

just AAA🗿 He'll totally spend the whole day in these little ring and gemstone shops with you and pick out a few that you like

of course you just end up stealing them, but the lady behind the counter probably already knows what's happening when Patrick enters

I really don't know why, but I can imagine that he's bad at reading?/he can't imagine what he's reading like a movie in ur head

so he'll ask you to read to him when he's upset

I know this is ooc, but I think his parents wouldn't be the prime either, not abusive, they just don't want much to do with their son

specially after his father played with the thought of Patrick killing Avery

so when he is upset it's most likely about them

when that's the case he likes to make tea with you, or a nice meal and listen to you talk instead of him

and you don't need him to speak either, because you just enjoy his company

he really appreciates you

like, he worships you

not just for putting up with his bs but also because you don't just use him to scare away other creeps

the thought of being able to find security and comfort with you calms him

I see headcanons for cuddles with him are always like "he won't" and I agree, don't get me wrong

but if you are a cuddlebug like me, he'll do it if it makes you happy

oh boy, he wraps his entire body around you

either he presses his face into the crook of your neck from behind, or he snuggles into your hair when you are facing him while he goes through it with his fingers

he's surprisingly gentle

not wanting to make you uncomfortable

he also loves giving you hugs

not only can he show you off, but it also feels very nice

he's not sure how you manage to unlock all these new emotions in him, and he thinks about that more than he should

he can't deal with them after all

so expect him to ask you about them like a kid

he always wants to impress you somehow

rather that is with not burying anything in a week, or trying to get you something you wanted

he tries to draw you stuff, although he can't draw that well

since he only scribbled on paper as a child and saw something completely different (like a house) I can imagine that he still has that

you better pretend like it is what he's seeing tho 🔫

cuz he makes the effort to try

his overprotectiveness goes to the point of him not being able to sleep without you, he can't let anything harm you, and while you are unconscious it just makes him nervous to not be with you

since he doesn't sleep much to begin with, its not really a big deal

also it just means more cuddles, count me in

#patrick hockstetter x reader #patrick hockstetter #fluff #x reader #fanfic #headcanons #imagines #reader insert #writing #patrick hockstetter headcanons #patrick hockstetter imagines

153 notes · View notes

iamthemain-character · 3 years ago

Note

Hey, I just saw you were taking requests. I was wondering if you could write something about Leonard mccoy being in love with gn!reader who is medical scientist but also an Orion afab person and when they get together, Spock and Kirk are a little afraid that they could be using their advantages (the pheromones female Orions have) over him. Thank you very much 💙

hello! this was an interesting idea, thanks for requesting! i hope you like it :)

The Science Of Love

leonard “bones” mccoy x orion! reader

gender neutral pronouns, afab

TW: just spock and kirk being kinda overprotective which leads to them making assumptions about reader, it has a happy ending tho

requested by @jeromevaleska-zemo-s-bitch

so i tried to do some more in depth research on pheromones and the orion species, but considering this is set in a fictional futuristic space age i kinda made some assumptions/ made things up. i hope it all is okay!

Star Trek Masterlist

Dr. McCoy and Y/n were not a very public couple; PDA was almost nonexistent, and they it would be best to keep their romance a secret since they did work together, at least for a while. Y/n was head medical scientist on the starship Enterprise, and with Leonard McCoy being both head doctor and best friend to the captain, a low key relationship seemed best.

As time went on, however, Bones started to feel guilty lying to his friends about his free-time activities. While his schedule used to be wide open, he now spent much of his free time with the person he loved, but for secrecy’s sake he couldn’t tell them that. Bones wasn’t really a good liar to start with, so most conversations found himself tripping over his words and sticking his foot in his mouth.

Even Y/n began to notice it, so they decided to confront Leonard about it.

“Leo?”

“Yes my dear?”

“I think it’s time you tell your friends about us.”

Bones looked up from the tablet his was reading and looked at his SO. “Are you sure?”

“I am. I think we’ve proven we can keep work at work, and things are still going well for us. And besides, your lies aren’t very convincing, so it’s better you tell them before they figure it out.”

———————————————————————

All three men were sat down at the ships bar in the recreational room; Spock, Leonard McCoy, and Jim Kirk. Their conversation topics were fairly light, joking with each other and laughing lots. At a lull, however, Bones decided it was time to break the news.

“Well boys, I gotta tell y’all something.”

Both men turned with raised eyebrows, curious to see what their friend was going to say.

“I’m seeing someone. Y/n, specifically. Don’t worry Jim, we keep it professional at work, but at the end of the day, we both like each other. I love them.” With that Bones gave a quick nod and tossed back his drink.

Spock blinked a few times as he tried to process what he was hearing, and Jim poured them both another drink.

“Leonard, you know that Jim and I hold you high regard, but are you sure? This all seems rather sudden.”

“I’ve never been more sure about anything Spock; I’m in love with Y/n, and I feel like the luckiest man in the universe that they put up with me. You both should meet them, see just how incredible they are.” McCoy’s communicator blinked, signifying that he had received a message. “Ah, speaking of, we are supposed to have dinner. I’ll see you guys later!”

Kirk and Spock watched as their friend walked away, a slight smile on his face. Neither had ever seen Bones this happy before or emotional. In fact, the only emotion they ever saw from him was grumpy, so everything about him was just very unusual.

“Jim?”

“Spock?”

“Is it just me or was the doctor….”

“Unusually cheery? Yeah, I noticed it too.”

Spock’s eyebrows furrowed as he thought, waiting for Jim to finish his drink before he spoke. “I cannot help but wonder, Y/n is an Orion, assigned female at birth. The Orion people are known to have strong pheromones which cause strong attraction in the opposite gender. I cannot help but wonder if the reason for his sudden change is do to the affect Y/n might have on him.”

Jim’s jaw dropped as the meaning of what Spock was saying hit him. “Are you saying that Y/n might be using their abilities to get Bones to love them?”

“Do not be hasty Captain; I am unsure of whether or not this is being done intentionally, but i would be a good explanation for everything.”

Slipping off his stool, Kirk rushed to the doors. Spock was quick to follow, on the heels of Jim as they navigated the ship. The pair came up upon Bone’s quarters, and Jim didn’t even take time to knock before he opened the door.

Inside, Bones and Y/n were sitting next to each other at the table, laughing over something that had been said. Both suddenly looked up at the intrusion, surprised to see their captain and commander rushing in.

“Jim, what the he-“

“You’re not in love with Y/n, they’re using their pheromones over you.”

Bones stood up from the table and came face to face with his friend. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, stop.”

“No Bones, listen to me. Spock told me, Orion have strong pheromones, and Y/n has those same ones that make you attracted to them, so it’s not real. You gotta stay away from them.”

“Spock, did you really say that?”

Spock looked very uncomfortable, awkwardly standing a little ways behind Jim. “I simply related my concerns to Jim that because Y/n is an afab Orion, their natural evolutionary features may have played a part in your attraction to them. McCoy, you must understand, you’ve been acting very uncharacteristically. You’ve been more jovial and dare I say, romantic. You can understand Jim’s and my concern.”

Quietly Y/n came up to stand beside Leonard. “I can understand your concern Captain, Commander, but I assure you; Orion pheromones have no affect whatsoever on the human species. It has been proven in many medical studies, including some I have participated in. If Leo has shown attraction to me, it is because I have tried to love him as he deserves. And I do, I love him. But I don’t want to be the reason you three argue; Leonard, I think we should take some time apart, slow down a bit.”

“No, Y/n-“

“It’s for the best okay? Thank you for dinner, but I have to go.” With tears glistening in Y/n’s eyes, they excused themself from the room.

When Bones turned to face his friends again, his expression had completely changed. “So you too decided that my relationship was a sham, and so you should come interrupt my personal evening to humiliate my SO and me? You didn’t even stop to think that maybe you could talk to me in private? You two are supposed to be my best friends, you’re supposed to be there for me! And yet when I’m finally happy you decide it’s not okay?! I think I deserve to be happy, I deserve to be romantic, it’s not a crime! AND IF I WANT TO LOVE Y/N, THEN I THINK I HAVE THAT RIGHT.”

“Bones, we just-“

“GET OUT! Get out of my home, leave me be, so I can try to fix the mess you both have made!”

Their cheeks burning with shame, Spock and Kirk quickly left the room. As they walked back to their quarters, neither said a word; both understood the consequences of their actions, and they felt horrible. But the damage had been done, and they had no way to fix it.

Things were tense for the week to come; Y/n spoke to none of them, instead electing to work any position that would prevent contact. Bones also was not speaking to Jim or Spock, giving them a freezing shoulder and only speaking in terse words when necessary. The whole ship felt the cold air between them, but despite the best efforts of mutual friends, nothing broke the ice. It was killing Kirk and Spock to watch everyone suffer from their mistakes, and so at the next ship stop they decided to hatch a plan to at least apologize.

Y/n was taken aback one morning as they walked into their office; every where to be seen there was flora from their home planet. The blossoms were vibrant hughes, and plants carefully cared for. Set in beautiful pottery, it was like stepping back home. What surprised Y/n even more, was the two men standing in the middle of it.

“What can I do for you Captain? Commander?”

Kirk nodded to Spock before starting to speak.

“We wanted to apologize, for everything that happened the other day. What I said was out of line, and incredibly rude of me. I shouldn’t have said any of it; you’ve never given us reason to doubt your integrity, and we should’ve been happy that you and Bones were happy.”

“Indeed, I share the Captain’s lament. I should not have made such bold assumptions, indeed, I know better than anyone that what we are does not define who we are. I am deeply and truly sorry Y/n.”

“We both are, from the bottom of our hearts. If there’s anything we can do to make it better, we want to do it.”

For a few seconds, Y/n’s face didn’t change; then, slowly a sly smile spread. “I think I have an idea.”

———————————————————————

“Alright I’m here! What’s the emergency? Who’s in danger?” Bones burst through the door of the recreation center, panic etched into his face. He had received a call that someone was in medical need, but now as he looked around, he only saw Kirk and Y/n.

Y/n was seated at a table towards the back, candlelight casting a soft glow on them. Jim was dressed up in a suit and had a linen thrown over his arm.

“Excuse me sir, are you here for your dinner reservation?”

“I-I don’t have a reservation?”

“Are you Leonard McCoy?”

“……Yes?”

“Then follow me please.”

Kirk led Leonard over to the table with Y/n, pulling out the chair across from them and gesturing for him to sit. Bones did as told, confused as could be. Then Spock came out in a matching suit to Kirk, but he instead held a tray with two silver dishes on it. These he placed in front of the two people dining while Kirk filled their glasses with some bubbly drink. After both men had finished, as a final touch, they pulled rose petals out of their pockets and dramatically threw them around. Y/n burst into giggles, while Leonard just watched in amazement.

As Kirk and Spock left, Leonard turned his attention back to Y/n; they looked absolutely gorgeous, and his heart swelled at the sight of their smile.

“Hey there Darlin.”

Finally Y/n couldn’t restrain themselves anymore, getting up, they threw their arms around Bones’ shoulders and pulled him close. He wrapped his arms around them too, and for a moment they just sat there and enjoyed being together again.

“What is happening?”

“Jim and Spock felt bad and wanted to apologize, so they helped set up this date for us.”

“Really? So that’s why they were in that funky getup.”

Y/n laughed and cupped Leonard’s face. “Yes, they said it was customary on earth. As are the rose petals.”

“I see, a nice touch to be sure.” Laughing, Leonard touched his forehead to Y/n’s. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“And I you.”

“Promise you’ll never leave, no matter how rude my friends are?”

Y/n smiled and placed a sweet kiss on Leonard’s lips. “Always and forever my love.”

#star trek #star trek x reader #leonard mccoy #bones mccoy #dr mccoy #leonard mccoy x reader #bones x reader #bones mccoy x reader #dr mccoy x reader

128 notes · View notes

darling-leech · 3 years ago

Text

Nathan Ian Howard’s Fallout Character Sheet(Updated)

I used DarthSuki’s Fallout OC Meme 2.0 and I used this Font.

Here’s A Blank version if anyone wants to use it(Remember to credit DarthSuki tho)!:

ANYWAYS Let’s begin his background... AGAIN! 😅😅😅😅

Name: Nathan Ian Howard(Registration NH-002ST).

Nickname: Nate

Race: White(German and Italian)

Religion: Agnostic

Gender and Pronouns: Cisgender Man and He/Him

Sexuality: Bisexual. Also is Polyamorous.

Age: 45(biologically). 255(Chronologically).

Birthday: November 10th, 2032

Birthplace: Boston, Massachusetts

Height: 6′6 FT(79.2 Inches)

Weight: 180 LBS(81.6466 KGS)

Hair Color: Jet Black

Hairstyle: Casual Kempt

Facial Hair: Lazy Morning

Eye Color: Dark Brown(#331900)

Skin Color: I think it’s called the Rosey option in Fallout 4(#C98060)

Game of Origin: Fallout 4(He’s my Sole Survivor)

BEHAVIOR/TECHNICAL:

Voice Actor: Brian T. Delaney

Karma: Neutral/True Neutral

Aggression: Aggressive

Confidence: Foolhardy

Assistance: Helps Friends and Allies

S.P.E.C.I.A.L Stats: Strength 10, Perception 10, Endurance 8, Charisma 10, Intelligence 10, Agility 8, and Luck 7

Perks/Tagged: Armorer, Blacksmith, Gun Nut, Science!, Rifleman, Gunslinger, Heavy Gunner, Demolition Expert, Local Leader, and Inspirational to name a few.

Weaknesses: Idiot Savant/Kinda of an Airhead, Party Boy, Sneak, Pickpocket, and Sometimes Boisterous/Impulsive.

Affiliation: Brotherhood of Steel and Minute-Men.

Rank: Sentinel, General, Sole Survivor/Vault Dweller, and Lieutenant(USS Constitution).

Role: Player Character/Main/Major Character/Main Fallout 4 Character and Soldier. He’s my ONLY Sole Survivor(So you CAN tag him as Sole Survivor).

Most Liked Companions: Cait, Preston Garvey, X6-88, Paladin Danse, and Honorary Mention? My Self Insert OC, Eugenia Alexandra Everston “Alex”.

Least Liked Companions: N/A

Preferred Weapon Type: Energy/Laser

Primary Weapons: Old Faithful

Secondary Weapons: Aeternus

Preferred Armor Type: Leather

Primary Armor: Leather, but usually just wears the Vault 111 jumpsuit

Power Armor?: YES

RELATIONSHIPS:

FAMILY:

Parents: *I’m leaving this blank for now because I haven’t gotten that far into Nathan’s background yet, I’ll update this when I do*

Siblings: Elijah Liam Howard

Friends: Several. Cait, Paladin Danse, X6-88, Preston Garvey, Elder Arthur Maxson, Scribe Haylen, Rhys, Proctor Teagan, Proctor Quinlan, Proctor Ingram, Leif Axel Gunnar, Torin Arlen Hugh(My Courier 6), Courtney Nicole Stevens, and My Self Insert OC Eugenia Alexandra Everston “Alex” to name a few. Maybe Felix Sebastian Everston as well?

Lovers: Several. Cait, Elder Arthur Maxson, and My Self Insert OC, Eugenia Alexandra Everston “Alex”. *Obviously Nora as well, but ya know. 😅😅😅😅)*

Rivals: N/A?

Enemies: N/A?

Children: Shaun

Background(Note: I’m still in the process of writing this so it’ll seem like a mess til I get it finished all the way so please bear with me): Almost identical backstory to the default Nate in Fallout 4(As you can Nathan basically looks like the default Nate, but Nathan’s hair is Jet Black and has Dark Brown eyes). Served for 20 years in the Army, mostly dealing with Weapons, but switched to Infantry. Married Nora and had Shaun. YADA YADA. Anyways, he’s with the Brotherhood of Steel and Minutemen now, etc. 😅😅😅😅 He’s basically just my Sole Survivor, whereas My Self Insert OC Alex isn’t. Also don’t let his intelligence level fool you, he can be dumb of ass lol. Also is kinda like that cool Dad™ that you can hang with(Like smoke weed/and drink with), also is a DILF. Met My Self Insert OC Alex in the BOS, their paths first cross during the Fire Support quest. I say his Affiliations is with the BOS/Minute-Men, but I feel like he finds a way to not kill/blow up any of the other factions, and makes like “peace” between all of them. Also reunites with his Older Brother, Elijah Liam Howard as well.

Languages Spoken: English(Native Language).

I also have a RefSheet.Net for him as well.

Also this is an updated version of this: XXXX

#fallout #fallout 4 #Nathan Ian Howard #Nathan Howard #Nate Howard #Nathan is my Sole Survivor #Sole Survivor #Fallout Character Sheet #long post #refsheet.net

14 notes · View notes

bciwasinlove · 4 years ago

Note

how would you analyize or interpret the song walls?cause i‘ve heard a lot of people say it‘s a break up song as it‘s written in past tense and basically saying he‘s stronger now after a break up (maybe even from a toxic relationship), he‘s risen above it and it doesn‘t really sound like a love song about an ongoing romance, does it?

Hi anon this is going to be a long one bc there is no quick answer to this so just know you asked for this.

First let's get one thing straight the ones who claim Walls [the album in general] is a break up album are the "Rads" short for Radical Louies. Essentially they are toxic louies who once were a larry shipper [not even a real larrie] but now hate Harry bc their mad Louis hasn't gotten the same promo and solo opportunities Harry has and some how in their eyes that's Harry's fault. They don't see it was Syco trying to sabotage Louis and in no way is Louis being sabotaged Harry's fault. Rads try to twist the truth and believe Harry left Louis for fame so since they hate Harry they have twisted the meaning of Walls to in their head a break up from a toxic relationship. They also really want LT2 to be a HUGE SHADE break up album which is 100% not the case so don't believe their crap.

Tho I heard you may have sent this same ask to others [who probably ignored you] so there is a chance you are a rad trying to find out what larries believe. Either way if you are a confused larrie or an undercover rad you probably need this info that no one else will bother giving you the time of day to tell you but I myself thought why not I'll answer you.

Second Louis and Harry have been happily in love for 10 years and have not officially broken up. Yes they have had issues like any couple does but it did not stem from eachother their issues stemed from them being forcibly closeted, the stunt gfs and their labels thus their songs are not break up songs but songs about not being able to be free and forced to fake date others when all they want is to publicly be with the one they love.

Now that that is out of the way here's why Walls is about Louis loving one person and one person only since he was 18. I'm doing the whole album [minus TOU] bc it is impossible to state why Walls the song is not a break up song without mentioning the others like Too Young [which rads also claim as a break up song] bc the album as a whole paints the whole picture.

Bree's analysis on Walls

Kill My Mind:

You kill my mind, raise my body back to life and I don't know what I'd do without you now.

KMM is definitely the sexual song of Walls [not No Control type sexual but just we click right from the start sexual] It has the I just met you and we are figuring one another out vibe [both physically and just as people] and how right from the start Louis craves Harry and his attention. It has a similar vibe to Watermelon Sugar which Harry said is about the euphoria of falling in love and the way the other person makes you feel right from the start. Louis in KMM is saying I've just meet someone and they are now all I think about, crave and I don't know how I would be able to live without them.

Don't Let It Break Your Heart:

And I know you left apart of you in New York under your bed in a box, but your doing better.

Flashback to HS1 "Ever Since New York" seems like they both love to mention something happening in NY with their lover. We may never know what happened but it's always a funny coincidence when they mention the same places in their songs almost like their singing about the same situation.

Life gets hard and it gets messed up when you give so much, but it's not enough when the highs to high and the lows to low when you love somone and they let you go.

As I stated before their issues involved the stunts [fake dating women] so when Louis says love someone and they let you go he means when his lover gave into what they were being told to do for the sake of their careers. As young as they were when this all started it's hard not to think they may have fell for the lies being fed to them. So Harry let "Louis go" by being seeing with a ton of women gaining himself the brand of "lady's man" while also being forced to watch Louis be with someone else [Eleanor] and publicly act like that was the one he loved. Harry wrote the song Just a Little Bit of Your Heart which is a prime exactly of those feelings. Harry loves Louis so much but he only gets to love him privately while Eleanor gets to loves him publicly and as Harry wrote a little bit of your love is better then none.

Were driving down a one way road to something better. What hurts you is going to pass you'll be doing better.

This shows they know the pain all the bad things thrown their way won't stick around forever. They will overcome this and one day they will see the light at the end of the tunnel or the rainbow after the storm.

We Made It:

Cause we made it, Underestimated and always underrated. Now we're saying goodbye waving to the hard time yeah it's gonna be already.

Do I need to explain it I would say the title alone and this chorus makes it very clear. Break up who when where how? They had hard ships but NOT from their own doing. WMI is about how decpite all they were put through they made it. Flashback to Harry HS1 tour with Kacey in a rainbow dress at MSG in front of 36k people singing "[their/where] still together still going strong." They want you to know nothing will break them apart no matter how hard anyone tries. We are keeping the bad in the past and moving forward to a better tomorrow.

Share a single bed and tell each other what we dream about. Things we'd never say to someone else out loud.

This reminds me of their Xfactor days or early 1D tour days bc in 1D interviews it was always made clear they would share rooms and also how on the bus Louis bunk was filled with his junk so where did he sleep then? Also there are many former Xfactor contestants that have come out and said they were forced to be in the closet on the show. Flashback to an article claiming the people in charge of the 2010 Xfactor season tried to hide and keep a same sex couple apart wonder who that was? That line is about when they were young and the late nights they spent together wondering how their future was going to go. They were still just big smiles, wide eyed, oblivious young boys when they imagined only good things to come of the future with them and the band.

We were only kids just trying to work it out. Wonder what they'd say if they could see us now?/ Don't know why they put all of this on us when we're so young. Done a pretty good job dealing with it all.

We were only kids [when Louis fell in love with said person] and we're so young reminds me of Harry's song To Be So Lonely where he says "Don't blame me for falling I was just a little boy." They both mention falling in love at a young age and both mention how after all this time they are still just as in love as back then but just a little less naive/oblivious. They are both hinting at a higher person [their label/management] who didn't approve of their love and telling them it wasn't going to work out. Harry going you can't be mad at me I was only a boy and Louis going wonder what would happen if they saw us now meaning look we didn't let you win. They tried so hard to separate Louis and Harry but it didn't work and Louis wants us and THEM especially to know they are still very much together, they handled it as best at they could and they weren't going to let them keep Louis and Harry apart.

Meet you at your uni, cheap drink, drink em all night

This is what we call a stunt line to push a narrative. Harry does stunt songs [Carolina and Cherry] while Louis does stunt lines. This line is suppose to allude to the album being for Eleanor [bc she went to Manchester Uni] but the rest of the album is so clearly not for her. If this song was about a break up from Harry then why would they bother adding in a stunt line about Eleanor when the public story is El and Louis are happily still together with Louis planning to marry her? Unless Walls isn't a break up album and it's very loudly Louis declaring him and Harry are still happily together and they wanted to try and force the image that Louis is happily in love with Eleanor. Also funny how this album is gender neutral and has no she pronouns in it unlike Zayn's new album having she pronouns.

Too Young:

We were to young to know we had everything. Too Young, I wish I could've seen it all along. I'm sorry that I hurt you, darling, no we were to young

This song is all about how when Harry was only 16 and he was 18 [Louis himself saying the song is about meeting the one at 18] he was to young to realize he had the best lover he was ever going to have, he had it all. As I said before issues in songs = management/stunts and this is Illuding to how Louis let them minupulate them and do what it was they wanted aka stunting and forcing Louis to be with Eleanor and Harry have a "lady's image" since he was only 16 and Louis now looking back and realizing he should have fought harder. Louis at the time didn't realize how much all this would hurt Harry having to share Louis [once again Just a Little Bit of Your Heart is Harry's feelings about that] and its once he's older he realizes what he did to hurt the only one who he ever truly loved and it pains him to know he put his lover through that even if it wasn't Louis fault Harry went through that.

I've been looking back a lot lately me and you is all I've ever known. Oh I can't believe I gave in to the pressure. When they said a love like this would never last. I didn't know no better now I realize yeah I realize.

So similar to before he's saying Harry is all he's ever known and him giving in to the pressure was about agreeing to fake date Eleanor and allow them to be heavily closeted. Reflecting back on those days he regrets so much what he agreed to do. They said a love like this wouldn't last is their management/label not agreeing with them being together and how two boys in a boyband marketed towards young women won't last, they won't sell records as an out gay couple with Louis believing their lies for a bit and he now regrets ever thinking they were right. This is a reflection song of not understanding what he had when he was so young but he sees it clearly now and he will never let THEM win he loves Harry and won't ever let him go ever.

Walls:

These high walls, they came up short now I stand taller then them all. These high walls never broke my soul and I watched them all come fallin down for you.

The high walls he refers to is all the assholes who tried to break him, break Harry and tried to ruin his career out of spite. This is towards the ones who told him they would never succeed being as they are a committed gay couple. Louis for a time believed them when they said their love wouldn't last, no one will want to listen to their music as a gay couple but eventually he realized they were wrong and those walls he had up filling him with doubt and insecurities were broken down. He allowed his "high walls" to come down because Harry was worth the effort it took to bring them down.

So this one is a thank you for what you did to me. Why is it that thank you's are often bittersweet? I just hope I see you one day and you say to me, Oh.

This is what one calls a metaphor he does not mean a physical person he means the walls he had up for a long time making him feel so insecure bc of how some of the people around him that made him feel so worthless crushing his spirt for so long. The metaphorical person he is thanking for helping him become the person he is today is the wall he broke down. The hardships he dealt with when he was younger got him to where he is today.

For every question why you were my because

Why am I still fighting?

Why have I not given up yet?

The because to his question is his lover HERE is where he directly refers to his lover. Harry is someone who is worth fighting for and will always be one of the reasons he hasn't stopped fighting. He loves Harry more then anything and will fight until the day he can publicly hold his hand, publicly post pictures of them together, publicly go on dates and publicly declare his love for him.

Habit:

You're the habit that I can't break, you're the feeling I can't put down, you're the shiver that I can't shake, you're the habit that I can't break, you're the high that I need right now.

Written over and over throughout the song these are some of the most important lines he wrote about Harry. It's Louis way of saying even if he wanted to, even if it would be easier for him and Harry he can never let him go. Harry's version of this is in Adore You when he sings "You don't have to say you love me, you don't have to say nothing and you don't have to say you're mine. I'd walk through fire for you just let me adore you like it's the only thing I'll ever do." Harry is saying even if publicly you can never say you love me I know you do and I will do anything for you because I am madly in love and could never let you go. They both would go through hell along side each other then being partially happy and the other not being by their side. Harry is the only one he ever wants to spend his life with and no matter what hardships they are put through there is no scenario where being without each other is a better alternative.

I took some time 'cause I've ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I'm supposed to be but honestly, I don't have to choose anymore

The line of all lines he took time away bc he was tired of the facade of faking what makes him happy, faking loving some girl, faking being anything but himself. He's back now and knows without a doubt who he is and is proud of it. No more confusion, no more lies he loves a curly haired dimpled boy and no one will tell him he can't love him. Harry's version of this is the chorus of Lights Up "All the lights couldn't put out the dark, runnin' through my heart. Lights up and they know who you are, know who you are. Do you know who you are? Shine step into the light, shine so bright sometimes, shine I'm not ever going back." They both tell you they have figured out whi they are and are very proud of who they have become and no one will tell them they can't be anything but themselves. They WILL scream it out loud and proud letting everyone know who they love one day [as if 16 and 18 year old H&L didn't already do that.]

And it's been ages, different stages come so far from Princess Park. I'll always need ya in front of me, in front of me

Oh the line that shocked every larrie I know. When he first sang this song and we first heard this line at a live concert everyone was shocked because we all knew what their was only one meaning to it. It was such a drastic line that the Elounors tried to claim he sang Starbuck [until the official lyrics came out.] Princess Park is the name of the apartment/flat complex all of the 1D boys lived in after the Xfactor BUT Niall, Liam and Zayn had their own apartment/flat while Louis and Harry shared one and they always made it very clear to everyone they met that they lived together.

So in a love song Louis sings about how him and his lover have come so far since their Princess Park days and his lover will always be the one he needs. Putting Harry's fav love song Sweet Creature plus Louis line about his lover together it would read " And, oh, we started two hearts in one home, come so far [since] princess park. I'll always need you in front of me. Wherever I go you bring me home" you do the math here. Their lyrics sink up just as much as their tattoos do.

Always You:

I went to Amsterdam without you and all I could do was think about you and oh-oh-oh I should've known

The Amsterdam line one of those lines that can be fact checked and proven to not be for Eleanor. So Louis took Eleanor to Amsterdam for her birthday at a gay bar no less back in July/August of 2017. Then a week or two later wrote the song Always You leaking a snippet of it to us where the lines of him singing about how he went to Amsterdam without his lover and his lover was all he could think about were heard. If he went with Eleanor then clearly that isn't his lover but we know this. Fast forward 2020 Walls comes out and we FINALLY hear the full song of Always You.

Louis said he only put the song on the album because the fans wanted it but if it was just because of us and the song wasn't THAT important to him why did he leak those lines back in 2017 that could easily be fact checked that the lover he sings about isn't Eleanor? It's like he wanted us to know it's not for Eleanor this line is important. So the fact that almost 3 years later he still put the song out shows the song means a lot to him and even in 2020 the meaning of the song still resonates with him and how it will Always be THIS one person that means everything to him. Funny though how his loudest, easily fact checkable songs [to not be about Eleanor] are the ones he downplays the most about importance to him.

I went to Tokyo to let it go. Drink after drink, but I still felt alone I should've known

When it comes to this song the Amsterdam line is Louis speaking [because he went to Amsterdam without Harry] while the Tokyo line is Harry speaking [because Harry went to Tokyo without Louis] and after Harry came back from Tokyo, Japan Louis was seen wearing a ton of new clothes from Japanese clothing brands. This is both of them saying I may be in a wonderful new place but it's not the same without you here. They are sad and alone and would rather be with each other then traveling around the world.

I'm wastin' my time when it was always you, always you. Chasin' the high, but it was always you, always you

I think this is self explanatory he sees no reason to even think about being with someone else because he knows without a shadow of doubt [thinks he always knew deep down] it was always Harry. There was never going to be anyone else for him but Harry.

I went from LAX to Heathrow. Walked through my door, but it felt nothing like home cause you're not home. Waiting to wrap your legs around me

LA and London are their two main residences and places they tend to go back and forth a lot. When he "goes home" if Harry is not there Louis feels as though it doesn't really feel like home because home to Louis is wherever Harry is. They can travel all around the world, meet a ton of new people but no place and others will ever make them feel fully satisfied unless their lover is by their side.

Fearless:

Cashin your weekend treasures, for a suit and time a second wife. Now I'm not saying that you could have done better just remember that I, I've seen that fire alight.

The first line is a nod to the industry itself and how to get your "weekend tresures" [be famous and earn a lot of money] you have to put up a fake facade, acting and looking the way they want you to because in their eyes if you are not the conventional person Hollywood wants they believe you will not make them the money they desire because we all know they only care about money nothing else. At a cost of the real them they must put on a fake smile, go out there sing doing nothing unconventional and they will get money and fame.

The second line yes they are happily together and Louis doesn't want or believe Harry will find someone else but he has seen Harry when all of this gets to be to much and when Harry puts up a facade of I've never had an issue with all of this Louis reminds him that I've seen you when your not fine, it's ok to not always be fine and I am here for you when things are not rainbows and sunshine.

Tell me do you still remember feeling young? And strong enough to get it wrong in front of all these people? Just for tonight, look inside and spark that memory of you.

Refering back to Xfactor and early 1D days he's asking Harry if he remembers those days together back when they hadn't really gone through hardships yet and all the strength they had during their youth willing to take on the world together. He's asking him to bring that strength back and remember the younger version of himself. He's asking him to not give up because the younger him wouldn't want him to. It's been 10 years and they are still fighting, fighting as hard as they did when they were merely teenagers not knowing what lied ahead but wer happy as long as it meant they had each other in the end.

Now if happiness is always measured by the life we design, the car on the drive then you should feel better then ever but you know as well as I it's all lies.

This line speaks volumes as stated before with Fearless we have references to the industry and even just life in general. From the outside looking in they got money, fame, material things, they have it all and if deciding who is more happy in life was based on those things then they would win but Louis is telling Harry we both know that isn't the case. The industry isn't sunshine and rainbows, they treat people like shit and strip away everything about a person if they don't think their real self will sell. They only want to make a profit off them and don't care about how they feel about any of it. Everything is a lie the truth must be counseled.

Perfect Now:

You say to me your jeans don't fit, you don't feel pretty and it's hard to miss. I wish you could see my point of view as someone staring back at you.

This song is personally underrated to me I love this song. This song is so uplifting when you are feeling insecure and negative about yourself. Louis personally had a certain curly haired boy in mind when he wrote this. He's talking about Harry's insecurities with himself and Louis wishes Harry could see things from his view and how amazing and perfect Harry is to him.

Cause everybody is looking at you now. I guess some queens don't need a crown and I know why. Even when your tears are following now still someone, you're perfect now.

One of those it's definitely not for Eleanor moments. We all know [especially during fine line era] everyone was talking about Harry, knows his name and eyes turn to him when he walks in the room. Louis is so proud of Harry and is happy everyone else sees what he sees but Harry doesn't always see what others see in him and during those times where he is not already Louis is saying I will be right there with you. I am with you through the good and the bad because even when tears are running down his face Harry is still perfect to Louis.

Cause you're the only one when it's said and done. You make me feel like being someone good to you. Even at your worst you steal the scene.

No matter where life takes them, no matter how hard it gets Louis is reassuring Harry he will always be there by his side. At the end of it all when the final act is over and the curtain is closeting he will still be there because there will never be anyone else he wants to be next to at the end of all of this. Louis looks into Harry's eyes he watches all he does and is intrance wanting nothing more then being the one to be there when he is down and always being the who makes the pain go away even if for a moment.

Defenseless:

I hate to say, but I do we're sleeping on our problems like we'll solve them in our dreams. We walk up early morning and they're still under our sheets.

*Sigh* this is reality setting in things aren't perfect. In their line of work, being who they are, being a closeted gay couple things aren't going to be perfect 100% of the time. Most of the time they would rather ignore all the shit they are forced to indure but Louis realizes just ignoring it all won't make it go away he will wake up each morning next to Harry knowing those issues will always be around by neither fault of their own. He hopes one day they will get to be a happily open couple who posts pics online, goes out on public dates and gets to live the domestic life they always wanted but right now that just isn't their reality. Their reality is I can only look at you for more then 5 seconds or touch you when no one is around to notice.

Been up all night, all night running my lines but it's only the truth. Been up all night not sure how to say this right got so much to loose. / You just keep on building up your fences but I've been so defenseless.

Another metaphor here Louis wondering how to bring this up to Harry and not upset him. The last thing Louis ever wants is for him to be the reason Harry has a frown upon is wonderful face. Harry is more the one to bottle up and ignore the negative things while Louis is the more practical one and he knows he has a ton to loose [Harry and his love] if he doesn't go about this situation right.

No you don't have to keep on being strong for you and me acting like you feel no pain I know you do. And I can't get inside your head when you're lost in your pride but you don't have a thing to prove.

Harry is the one who bottles up his pain, puts on the fake smiles, and makes everyone believe he is perfectly fine. He acts like he can handle what he is forced to indure 100% of the time but Louis sees through that and just wants him to open up more. He knows Harry feels just as much pain as he does and wishes he wouldn't hide it and pretend everything is always fine. Louis wants to be able to help Harry through the pain and to let know he will always be there for him no matter what so don't pretend your always fine just to make others around him, make Louis feel better.

I hope I'm not asking to much just wanna be loved by you. And I'm to tired to be tough just wanna be loved by you.

Louis is tired of pretending, wishes everyone understood, wishes what he is asking for wasn't to much. All he wants is to be loved by Harry and live the domestic life he always invisioned with Harry and no one else but his live is not that simple.

Only The Brave:

Pour mercy, mercy on me, set fire to history. I'm breaking my own rules, I'm crying like a fool. It's a church of burnt romances and I'm to far gone to pray. It's a solo song and it's only for the brave.

I'm sure you understand Louis is gay but if you didn't this line right here is all you need to understand that. No straight man is going to write or sing those lines. He's gone down a path of self discovery and figuring himself out he knows he is and he is to far gone to turn back now but he has no desire to even if he could turn back. He is proud of who he is and doesn't care what anyone else thinks of him.

If the truth tell, darling, you fell, like their ain't enough dying stars in your sky. It's a tell tale and it's only hello, hello, no goodbyes.

It's only hello no goodbyes meaning the confusion, the is this for life between Louis and Harry questions are gone. They aren't turning back, they aren't saying goodbye, they are only saying hello to what lies ahead. The truth is clear, their story is clear, they fell for one another and Harry metaphorical speaking fell for Louis in a way where his star shines brighter then ever just by being with him.

Pour mercy, mercy on me, I'll fall upon my knees and they'll say, I told you so come on when you know you know. All the lonely shadows dancing from the cradle to the grave.

When you know you know they knew right from the start it's me and you until the end. Some won't agree but in the end that does not matter to Louis because he only cares about Harry being by his side. He will not apologize for falling in love he loves who he loves and that is it.

We Made It Directors Cut MV:

If the lyrics alone don't tell you the full story then the music video mini movie should. It sums up everything I explained. Louis being forced to do things he doesn't want, it effecting his relationship to the point their drowning [Harry in Falling MV] but manage to survive. Louis lover never speaking but the girl with ties to the evil one in charge does until eventually Louis breaks free from the man in charge controlling him and Louis finally gets to run away with his lover because he made sure they would make it in the end.

Ending:

Walls is about self discovery, learning to overcome your insecurities "breaking down your walls" no matter how hard it may be and Louis understanding he met the one at 18 and how Harry will always be worth fighting for, THEY will always be worth it bc they knew even as young as they were they were going to get married, have kids and grow old together. So you still want to tell me how any song on Walls is about a break up or Louis moving on from Harry because I certainly don't see it. Walls is Louis perspective on their 10 year relationship and his support and love towards Harry if you want Harry's perspective and his support and love toward Louis you would have to dive into HS and FL but that's a whole other analysis.

They have not given up on each other even if at times it would have been easier they didn't so I will never give up on them. They continue to fight I have been in this fandom supporting them for 10 years watching their continous fight and I will be here another 10 years supporting them if that is how long it takes for them to get the life they knew they wanted when they were only 16 and 18.

#larry is still together going strong #walls lyric analysis #walls is not a break up album #larry is and always will be real #louis #harry #larry stylinson

80 notes · View notes