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tarosin · 3 years

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The great adventures of y/n, Tommy, Jack and Tubbo

Requested:yes/no

Pairing: Platonic jack/tommy/tubbo/reader

Summary: another day another adventure

Content warning: cursing / I didn't proof read

An: reader has bright unnatural hair I wrote a lot, I can't figure out how to add read more on mobile I'm sorry

The music you were currently listening to was interrupted by the discord group notifying you that you have a new message.

Tommy: Y/N HOW BUSY ARE YOU TUBBO HAS COME TO VISIT AND JACK IS HERE

y/n: I mean I've currently got hair dye on but it’s being washed off and dried in around 20 minutes, why?

y/n: WAIT TUBBO?!?!

tubbo: oh yeah I forgot to tell you

y/n: how did you forget you know what nevermind, I’m glad you’re here :]

jack: we should be here in an hour so you have plenty of time to get ready

tubbo: what colour dye y/n

y/n: you’ll see soon enough as apparently, you’re all showing up at my house

Tommy: I suggest you wear comfortable shoes

y/n: I am terrified

Tommy: you have nothing to fear... for now

•••

luckily it had only taken you just over 40 minutes to get ready giving you roughly 20 minutes to prepare for the adventure ahead. or so you thought, as soon as you sat down ready to check your phone the sound of Tommy and tubbo laughing could be heard from your room, jack sent a message “hey we got here extremely early I’m sorry there’s no rush the others have been distracted by dreams music :)”

grabbing a backpack from next to your bed you had quickly chucked your phone and purse into the bag unsure as to what you’re going to need today.

•••

as soon as you opened the door you were met with an ecstatic tubbo who instantly pulled you into a hug unable to contain their excitement of seeing their friend

“I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN AGES YOUVE CHANGED SO MUCH LOOK AT YOUR HAIR”

“I look exactly the same”

“Now I’m no genius y/n but last time we spoke you didn’t have unnatural hair”

you paused for a moment as tubbo had a point the last time you and tubbo were on face time your hair was classed as a natural colour however today as a fuck you to your school which didn’t allow unnatural hair you decided to dye it your favourite colour.

“you raise a fair point now if you don’t mind releasing me from your grasp I have to lock the door so no one gets in”

•••

“Tommy unlock the door let tubbo and y/n in”

“Y/N YOU'RE HERE- HOLY SHIT YOUR HAIR! JACK ARE YOU SEEING THIS”

“Hello to you too Tommy”

“well if we weren’t going to get noticed at the shopping centre earlier y/ns bright fucking hair will definitely cause people to notice us”

“oh I’m sorry I didn’t expect to be going shopping with a bunch of Minecraft streamers today”

“don’t you stream Minecraft?”

“This isn’t about me jack”

the trip to the shops was surprisingly relaxing y/n sat at the front listening to jack sing along to songs playing on the radio, however, it was clear the boys had something they weren’t telling y/n which became evident through Tommy and tubbo bickering in the back of the car about who was going to tell them. it was a relatively short journey due to the fact you lived close to the city centre

•••

“let’s go shopping boys” Tommy practically yelled to everyone, tubbo held his phone in your direction then looked towards you, nodding at him you grabbed his phone and began recording

“I'm vlogging”

Tommy walked over “YEAHHHHH”

walking past cex you had to put up with Tommy making sex jokes until you made it to game, you stood holding back your laugh as you filmed Tommy and tubbo fighting about who’s paying whilst jack went off to buy a Minecraft squishy and mug despite everyone’s arguments against it. soon enough fans came over asking for photos with you all once the group of fans left jack took over recording for tubbo whilst you went off to quickly buy some games that you could play on stream.

•••

“want a wig bro? jack!”

the four of you walked into the shop, you couldn’t help but stand in awe looking at all the bright colours already questioning what colour to dye your hair next the sound of Tommy and jack being amazed pulled you out of your thoughts

“Gogy goggles, I’m actually buying them”

“i wan’t a pair”

“no, you’re getting a wig jack”

“I don’t want a wig I want George”

“y/n has bright hair and they’re not complaining”

“what do you have against people with colourful hair jack hmm?”

•••

“I'm not happy”

“you look lovely jack”

“we’re getting so many looks”

tubbo stopped everyone to ‘fix’ jacks wig which resulted in everyone laughing once you had finally stopped laughing you noticed tubbo had walked off and you were convinced jack had randomly decided to record strangers until you saw tubbo going up and down escalators

“oh there he goes again”

“pov you’re thinking about bees”

“where to next boys?”

Tommy pointed towards the lift

“Is this a lift for us”

Tommy noticed the safety sign and automatically made comments about it

“keeping us all safe is what I would say if I wasn’t carrying a knife”

“oh same Tommy”

“look you can see me”

taking that as an invitation to join the vlog you stood behind tubbo and pointed at the sign again and looked at Tommy and jack

“keeping us all safe is what I would say if we weren’t about to do this-“

the three of you went to jump up and down

“NO”

the four of you quietly left the lift however you were convinced that the public heard Tommy comment on having a knife and you threatening to jump as once the lift opened everyone was staring at you but it could also be due to the fact you had brightly coloured hair and somehow convinced jack to keep the wig on, you all spent a long time trying to convince Tommy to get a new outfit, eventually you went into another shop a certain keyboard caught your eye

“I’ve found my home, ill stay here at the gamer bunker”

you decided now was the perfect time to sneak off to buy the keyboard that had caught your eye, once tubbo noticed it was too late you stood holding the bag with your purchase leaving you stood in the middle of the shop defending your purchase to him claiming that it was a business expense and not just because you thought it looked cool.

“you told me you wanted to save your money”

“it lights up tubbo and it fits the vibe of my room”

Tommy placed his arm on your head treating you as an armrest as you were shorter than him and he knew it annoyed you

“they have a point tubbo it lights up”

once the recording ended you made your way back to the car

“say y/n you wouldn’t mind if me Tommy and jack stayed the night as tomorrow we were thinking-“

“sure thing”

“YESSSSSS”

•••

the next day you were woken up at 9 am by Tommy stood at the foot of your bed

“hi y/n”

“WHAT THE FUCK- oh hi Tommy Jesus christ do you know how horrifying that was to wake up to”

“Sorry bout that but if I didn’t wake you up now you’d only wake up in the afternoon and we need to go soon I’ll leave you to get ready”

you noticed a note was next to a jumper on the floor ‘hi, thanks for letting us stay the night I really liked your hoodie so I decided to wear it today here’s mine in exchange- Tubbo :D’

normally you’d be concerned that someone stole your hoodie as you live with your parents however today was an exception once you were all ready you set off jack pulled into a McDonald's drive-through so you could all get breakfast

“nice hoodie y/n”

“Thanks, someone took mine and decided to make a trade”

“you’re welcome”

the journey was quiet again you sat next to tubbo in the back Tommy sat at the front screaming at jack and trying to distract him and people around you decided to took a picture with tubbo who now had his arm wrapped around you as it was rather cold in the car and posted it to Twitter ‘@ ranboosaysstuff wish you were here :D’ less than a minute later you received 2 notifications ‘ranboosaysstuff replied to your tweet: same’ ‘ ranboosaysstuff has tweeted: *the spongebob gif*’

•••

soon enough you all arrived at mint golf to say you we’re excited would be an understatement

“can I get the shortest club you have”

you stood hiding your face in the jumper tubbo left you whilst you laughed a few minutes later you received a call from ranboo the others said they’d sort everything for you whilst you answered

“what’s up tall one”

“stay safe okay”

“ranboo it’s mini-golf I’m not fighting criminals”

“yes but I know how clumsy you are”

“first of all rude second of all fuck you third of all jealousy isn’t a good look on you” you managed to say through laughter

“jokes aside please come to the UK boo”

“oh sure I’ll go book a plane ticket now” *ranboo ended the call*

ranboo made jokes like that before however this time sounded a lot more serious and you had no idea why he called you so you made a mental note to call him again later. once with friends again you were met with Tommy telling the worker all about you all

“yeah we’re big on the influencing”

“What on earth did I walk in on”

“no time to explain let’s go golf”

you were handed a club and a ball and were dragged away by jack

•••

tubbo joked about getting a hole on one as soon as it was his go, you bet £10 with jack he wouldn't

“hand over the money y/n”

you looked at Tommy who was now recording you handing jack the money “so today we have learnt to not underestimate your friends and that gambling is bad. you lose your money to a tall bald guy”

to put it politely you and Tommy found out that mini golf is not your calling in life

“ill stick to streaming“

“you’re both losing by the way”

“yeah well- why and how does tubbo have soup”

tubbo stood cradling the soup as though it was a child

“Some things I can’t explain to you”

you stood tilting your head to the side questioning where the hell he got soup from

“eh”

“soups like a small child I take care of it as if it was my own”

you couldn’t contain your laughter at this point the confused faces of your friends alongside tubbos happiness of soup sent you over the edge so you decided to just sit down before you fall as your knees were already weak from laughing too much

“where did you get the soup from”

“I manifested it”

•••

after a few solid minutes of arguing over soup you and Tommy dropping the phone you all continued with bowling.

“tubbo get out of the way of my dream ball”

you stood recording jack cheering him on tubbo had different plans and kicked the ball away resulting in jack giving up and copying what you had been doing most of the rounds, after missing the hole 3 times each go, picking up the ball and placing it in the hole however again he missed

“you can’t be serious”

“golf isn’t for everyone big man”

Tommy took the phone from you to record “pov you’re me golfing”

•••

“how do we get across there”

“probably the bridge”

Tommy pulled to rope moving the bridge across the gap

“Why thank you, Tommy, wouldn’t have been able to do it without you”

you laughed

“you're extremely welcome y/n it was extremely easy because I’m a big muscly man”

golf was finally going well till you hit the ball a bit too hard causing it to go over the fence tubbo was able to get the ball back

“I’ve been watching a lot of doctor shows” you stood amazed at how far you made the ball go

“see the issue is its mini golf. if this was regular golf I'd have got a hole in one I'm telling you”

•••

“I'm never being in your vlog again”

jack looked at you and tubbo who was now laughing at you pretending to worship the can of soup in the hole

“Tommy please come back”

the rest of the game was chaos, you kept missing the hole then claiming to rage quit golf tubbo and Tommy kept making jokes jack left his drink somewhere then had to go back and find it, no one had been paying attention to you which allowed you to take the score sheet and make it so you had won the game eventually he game was over you had declared yourself the champion of golf despite the fact everyone was better than you including Tommy

•••

the journey back was chaos you called ranboo who claimed he only called you to plan a video/stream with you however it was clear that wasn’t the reason tubbo whispered to you so no one could hear

“I think he wants to be here with us I think he’s jealous”

you laughed and nodded

“of course”

eventually, you all made it back to yours, ranboo said goodbye to everyone then ended the call now it was time for you to say your goodbyes. since your love language was physical touch you hugged everyone. As you walked into your house Tommy yelled “Y/N HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT PLANES”

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ectonurites · 3 years

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Wait on Twitter you said Kon is going back to his t-shirt look, what happened? I haven’t been keeping up lately lol.

So we don’t know for sure what’s going on and all we’re working off of is covers right now, but DC announced some stuff yesterday for a crossover event next year “War For Earth-3” between Teen Titans Academy, Flash, and Suicide Squad.

And the covers show this little rumble of Ultraman, Match, and seemingly Conner back in a t-shirt, but a few things stick out to me right away such as: He’s not even in the right t-shirt (his is just red + black, this has yellow too? He wore a shirt like this briefly in the 2000’s just after Sins of Youth but…?) and Match is in the exact same one rather than his backwards one?

Idk it’s just one of those ‘wtf is going on’ moments, we have no details aside from the initial article yet, so who knows.

I’ll be extremely annoyed if they’re really gonna go back to the t-shirt full time again after JUST faking us out on that literally within a year. Like if they had changed it when it seemed like they were going to at the start of Infinite Frontier I was still annoyed but could live with it- but to do a ‘He’s in the t-shirt! Nevermind no he’s not that’s Match, Conner’s still punk! Nevermind he’s in the t-shirt!’ back and forth is REALLY fucking frustrating. Like beyond even my actual costume preference, it’s more just the ‘we’re gonna make a big deal out of it being one way and then immediately go back on it’ that’s like… the far more annoying thing. Like what was the point in having him show up punk in the Suicide Squad annual if literally his next appearance you’re going back on it? You could have just had them both in t-shirts (its not like they haven’t fought looking basically identical before). It makes no sense, and like this event is being written by the same guy who wrote the annual so it’s not like a different creative coming on and not being aware or something.

Anyways my current… explanation to make me not get too frustrated about it is thinking the Conner there is maybe another of these many clones we saw, who just hasn’t hit the bizarro point yet and still thinks he’s Conner. (I mean hell the Match on that cover could even be a different Match than we’ve been seeing so far and also be a new clone- could explain him in the correct-facing T-shirt still that looks like it’s got newly made holes in it). They bothered showing us there were this many of them sitting around and all dressed in the t-shirt look, it’s not the least plausible thing:

(Suicide Squad 2021 Annual)

#if ur happy abt the t shirt ur allowed to be but im gonna ask not to reblog this post adding anything like that #bc it will just annoy the absolute shit out of me

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missskzbiased · 4 years

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I Hate That I’m Afraid to Love You (8)

Genre: Romance, Friendship, Angst, Hurt /Confort , Suggestive, Fluff, College Au, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Au, REALLY Slow burn, Love Square (?)

Pairing: Hyunjin X Fem!Reader X Han X OC

WC: ~ 5K

[Previous] [Chap] [Next]

Masterlist

Warnings (general*): Language, Mentions of (Physical abuse, Death/ Loss of Loved One, Child Abandonment/Neglect, Divorce, Toxic Parents, Cancer, Mental disorder, Anxiety Attack, Alcohol, Food), Suggestiveness (?)

Notes: I’m posting earlier because I won’t be able to post it at midnight. Next week the update will be just like usual.

I want to say that we’re getting closer to the chap 11, the last one I have written, and if when I post it I don’t have the other ones written yet, the update won’t have a schedule anymore since I don’t want to rush writing [Also I’m blocked to this fic. But I think I might be getting new ideas to the chap 12, so let’s stay hopeful]

Updates: I’ll update it once a week [Tuesdays] because I still have to write the chapters to come and review the ones I already wrote

/////

He was absolutely everywhere this week.

Even though you studied on the same Campus for a few years now, you never ran into Hyunjin so many times as you did this past week. You knew it wasn’t like he was stalking you, so you assumed maybe you just didn’t pay attention to his presence, or maybe he avoided you before? It could be even related to the hot dog stand… Maybe it had changed his opinion about the other stands on the Campus?

Whichever was the reason for you to bump into him all the week, the fact that neither of these days you guys fought for real was impressive by itself. You even were getting along with each other. When would you imagine that you would hang out with Hyunjin peacefully one day? Never. You crossed your legs, waiting for him to knock on your door. Paris walked around the place, grabbing things she thought were important to go to Han’s match.

As you watched her going around, you recalled your strangely friendly week.

Monday

There was something about Mondays that just didn’t click.

You grunted, rolling your eyes as you spotted the queue, the only thing in your way to get the holy drink that allowed you to function on Monday mornings: Coffee. You checked your phone, sighing as you realized that there was no way in hell you would get your coffee and be on time for your classes. You clicked your tongue, annoyed, spinning on your heels to make your way to the closest vending machine.

The universe must be a man or it wouldn’t be a dick to you every morning.

The greatest way to begin your day could only be buying a cheap and utterly disgusting coffee just so you could arrive on time for your classes. Sometimes you wished your Professors would give you some more credit. You were sacrificing your own happiness for them, just so they could fill your desk ─to not say another word─ with assignments to do.

You strode, checking the time phone’s clock a few times, bumping in some people in the way while letting a bunch of ‘Sorry’ and ‘My bad’ slip through your lips. You skipped some steps, going up the stairs as quickly as you could and finally getting to your destination: The vending machines. You waited behind two girls who seemed to think about what they were going to get, deciding to check your messages for the time being.

“Did you hear about it?” the blond one whispered, not paying attention to you but looking to her sides, checking to see if anyone was hearing. Well, hello to you too. The brunette leaned her way, cupping her ear so she could listen to the gossip on first hand “They’re dating” She whispered not as discretely as she thought, making the brunette gasp.

Blondie nodded as if it was something really impressing and matter-of-factly, and apparently, it really was since Brunette seemed shocked, covering her mouth with her hand. She decided to add a “No way” that made Blondie hum, nodding once again as they exchanged a knowing look. You waited for them to finally choose something from the machine but, of course, they couldn’t do this, gushing about whatever they were saying in a way that you couldn’t really make sense of their words.

“Excuse me? Are you going to buy something?” You decided to ask, arching your brow and crossing your arms, kinda done with them. Why the hell take a line to gossip when they could just stand anywhere else as they talked about it? Blondie turned to you, an obnoxious expression on her face, ready to be an asshole.

As soon as she met your eyes, though, she paled; features blanking and eyes averting from yours immediately. Just as suspiciously, Brunette shrieked, looking at you with wide eyes and pursing her lips before averting her eyes from yours to meet her friend’s.

Okay, something was definitely weird here.

And you were smart enough to assume they were talking about you.

“So?” You pressed but they didn’t say anything, nudging each other with their elbows and snapping you some embarrassed looks before connecting their eyes. Blondie cleared her throat, opening her mouth to say something that never came. She gasped, looking past you, chirping at her friend, and you frowned, turning back to see what was the commotion about.

“Morning, girls” Hyunjin smirked, stopping right behind you and greeting them with a nod “Y/N” He added later, a hint of amusement under his tone. You nodded back at him, scanning his face. He gave the girls a dimpled smile, eyes scrunching and glinting friendly at them, not a note of dark circles or grumpiness in any corner… Okay, how the hell he did that on a Monday morning?

The girls turned around to the machine, finally choosing something and hurrying to pick it up, rushing to get away from you but throwing looks over their shoulders. You narrowed your eyes, furrowing your brows in deep thought as you approached the machine, selecting the only coffee you could take from there and inserting your money in the hole.

“Did you hear something weird today?” You asked casually, waiting for the machine to drop your coffee so you could pick it up. Hyunjin shrugged, thoughtfully sticking his lower lip out, seeming to think about your question. He shook his head, denying, and you sighed, turning back to pick up your coffee.

That wasn’t there.

You whined, spotting your drink stuck on the machine, throwing your head back and groaning, totally done with the day. Hyunjin chuckled, peeking over your shoulder to understand what was happening before breaking out in a fit of giggles, trying to muffle them with his hand, looking away. You grimaced at him, kicking the machine lightly to see if it could help somehow, and obviously hurting your foot in the process, which made him laugh more, twittering.

“Hey!” You grumbled, looking at him warily. You checked your phone again. Great, just five minutes to be officially late for your classes! You rested your forehead on the glass, bumping it softly twice before sighing, ready to forfeit. He seemed to take pity on you, tapping your shoulder so you would look at him.

“Here, let me help you” He offered, pushing you lightly so you would get out of his way, and giving two hard hits at the side of the machine, followed by three slaps and one kick. You looked at him impressed, waiting for the coffee to fall. He blocked your view with his back, and waited a bit, looking inside the machine before repeating his previous actions “Well, it helps on movies” He pointed out, still not looking at you, and you cackled up.

As soon as you heard the engine’s working, coiling inside the machine, and the soft thud made way to your ears, you gasped, laughing dying in your throat. He looked smugly at you, picking up the bottle and handing it to you, his smirk almost too cocky to handle. You rolled your eyes, taking it from his hands, preparing to thank him when you noticed it.

The same bottle stuck there, looking at you.

You looked at the bottle in your hands before giving the other bottle another look, trailing your eyes to Hyunjin slowly. He smiled mischievously now, and you soon realized what he had just done. You hurried to open your bag, searching for your wallet just to realize you forgot it at the dorm, letting another groan leave your lips, tired of this day already. You opened your mouth to protest but he raised his hand, waving it dismissively.

“That’s my surrender gift” He smiled at you, and you sighed before checking your phone once again.

“I’ll pay you back” You promised, turning around to rush to your classroom.

“Oh, can I know how you’ll do it?” He asked suggestively, raising his voice so you could hear him. You rolled your eyes, although he didn’t see it, before shooting him your middle finger.

“Fuck off” You shouted back, and you shook your head in amusement as you heard him chortle at your snap.

Tuesday

You pinched the bridge of your nose, letting a sigh fall from your lips.

It would be impossible not to be aware of all the looks people shot your way and the whispering following every step you took on the halls. You hoisted your bag over your shoulder, lowering your head and fixing your gaze on the floor as you strode quickly, sensing Paris following right behind you.

“What the hell is happening?” She mused, heading to your usual sit, as soon as you got to the classroom, throwing her bag on the desk as she sat down. You followed her, looking at her in clear defeat before resting your bag beside hers, sighing as you took your seat.

“I don’t have any idea” You admitted, looking around the room, noticing a few heads snapping away, pretending not to watch you both like a hawk “I heard some girls talking about someone dating yesterday… I guess they’re talking about me and Hyunjin?” You guessed, shrugging “They sure acted strange when he showed up” You added, pensive.

“You? Dating Hyunjin?” Paris asked surprised, brows shooting up and an amused smile spreading through her face “Why?” She chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief, eyes wandering to the door to meet an amused Hyunjin coming in. He walked as if he owned the place, looking to each classmate in the front and giving them a silent greeting before he got next to both of you.

“Have you heard the news?” He asked, chuckling, before pulling the chair to sit down, the scrapping sound making you cringe “We’re dating” He stated, eyes holding such amusement that they almost disappeared as he grinned.

“Oh? So that’s really it?” You hummed, nodding in understanding “Why does everybody think we’re dating?” You asked curiously and he shot you a surprised look, head tilting back slightly and brows arching up as he blinked once, totally dumbfounded.

“What?” His tone confused you, voice faltering as it mixed with giggles, eyes looking at you with awe.

“What?” You asked sternly, frowning at him, trying to find some hint on his amused features that explained why he found it so funny. You leaned forward on your desk to take a better look at him, and Paris leaned back, interested in what was unraveling in front of her, eyes darting to both of you expectantly.

“Well- No, I mean…” He leaned forward, mimicking you, his amused feature giving way to confused one “I heard about me and Paris” He stated, and this time you were the one who got dumbfounded “Are we disappointed here?” He teased, smirking at you suggestively, which you promptly ignored.

“Oh” You blurted, surprised, blinking a few times and nodding in understanding. You cleared your throat, fixing yourself on your seat, settling against the backrest “Paris, hm?” You nodded again, hand rising slowly to your chin, cupping it as your index finger rested on your lips “So why the hell are people talking behind my back?” You mused out loud, frowning, eyes focused on the empty whiteboard.

“You should be used to it by now” He mocked, and you glanced at him in contempt, rolling your eyes before quirking your lips down, shaking your head in disbelief. Paris chuckled, looking at both of you amused, crossing her arms while she watched your interaction as if it was her favorite movie, making you throw her a narrowed look.

“Ha-Ha, you’re so funny” You sneered, eyes wandering back to him. He chortled, his smirk growing to a grin.

“Was that why you fell for me?” You let your head fall back, groaning at his sickening tone. This time Paris burst out laughing, hiding her face behind her hands as she tried to control herself, pinching her nose right after and giving up, letting a satisfied sigh through her lips as she shook her head in amusement.

“Not at this level of friendship yet” You warned him jokingly, watching as Mr.Lee finally arrived, smiling at everyone and waving, greeting you all. He snorted, nodding in agreement as he fixed his attention to the Professor.

It was just like any other day.

Professor Lee resumed his previous classes, going on and on about human emotions and how each one of us can have an impact on one another. As usual, you noted everything down, occasionally looking at him, pencil tapping your lips as you thought about what he just said, and scribing down your own observations on the notebook. Paris and Hyunjin once in a while voiced their thoughts to Mr.Lee, and usually, you would follow them but this time something different happened.

You agreed with Hyunjin.

You raised your brows when you opened your mouth and he interrupted you, not noticing that you wanted to add something to the discussion, and said exactly the same thing you were going to say. You chuckled, which didn’t go unnoticed by either your friends or Mr.Lee, who promptly smiled at you, gesturing your way.

“Do you have something to say, Ms.Y/N?” He asked calmly, interested in your reaction “I must say I was kinda disappointed you didn’t try to discuss anything today” He smiled fondly, crossing his arms and leaning back on the board, waiting for a heated debate as usual.

“Actually, Professor…” You laughed, a soft bark that made him look at you in wonder “I’m with Hyunjin on this one” You admitted. Professor Lee looked at you in genuine surprise, mouth agape for a moment before he chortled, nodding in acknowledgment, eyes glinting in amusement. You got a glimpse of Hyunjin’s head snapping your way, utterly surprised by your statement while Paris hid her mouth, smiling knowingly.

“I never thought this day would come but I guess getting to know each other helps the relationship” He joked, waving dismissively before returning to his speech. You tried to keep your attention on your notes but Paris nudging you with her elbow and Hyunjin smirking smugly didn’t help much, so you eyed them impatiently, dropping your pencil to the paper.

“What?” You hissed, rolling your eyes, expecting their teasing.

“Are you trying to steal my man?” Paris asked in a feigned outraged tone, voice low to not be caught by the Professor, making Hyunjin snort, lowering his head to the desk, body trembling as he tried to muffle his laugh. You smirked, shaking your head in amusement as you picked up your pencil again, holding your laugh.

“Yeah, totally” You agreed, laughing through your nose, rolling your eyes playfully. Hyunjin lifted his torso, resting his elbow on the desk and cupping his cheek as he looked at you suggestively, a grin playing on his lips.

“I have to let you know that I’m faithful to my girlfriend” He joked, hand resting on Paris’ shoulder to claim her as his fake girlfriend. Paris grimaced, shaking her shoulder so he would drop his hand, which he did promptly. You darted your eyes between them, lacing her shoulders and bringing her closer to you so the situation could be less awkward, flashing him a mocking smile.

“Oh, you sure are” You taunted “You’re even buying me stuff behind her back” You joked, and he rolled his eyes.

“Please, it was just a coffee” He defended himself, and Paris giggled, turning her head to him but before she could say something he added “If it’s all it takes for you to fall for me I’ll fill you with coffees” He flirted jokingly, making you roll your eyes and scoff while Paris chuckled at you. Your chat was cut down by a warning glare from Mr.Lee, and the three of you pursed your lips, going back to pay attention to the classes.

Wednesday

You sat down, watching as Chan looked through the menu even though he always ordered the same stuff over and over again. You figured he just did it to tease you at this point, knowing you felt shy to blurt the order out since he was the one who was paying. You crossed your legs underneath the table, hands caressing the silky tablecloth, feeling its texture as you wondered if they really needed to make such high-quality stuff like that just so kids would spill all their sauce on it.

“If all Mr.Lee’s classes are teaching me anything, I’d say you need someone to hook up or something” Hyunjin teased you, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back on his chair, not giving a shit about behaving like a rich kid “Not even the poor table can escape now” He gesture to your hands and you stopped straightening the fabric for a moment, hands still on the table.

“Aren’t you too interested in my love life lately?” You arched your brow, looking at him smugly “I thought you only cared about your beloved girlfriend” You added, flashing Paris a smile, one that she promptly returned before giving him a teasing look.

“He has been too interested” She agreed, leaning forwards, eyes focused on him expectantly, “I think we’ll have to break up, sweetheart” She pouted, feigning disappointment as she gave him puppy eyes that made him scoff.

Chan frowned, raising his eyes from the menu.

“That’s right, I’ve been hearing this shit around” He joined, wavering his eyes between Hyunjin and Paris “Are you guys dating or something?” He asked curiously, making the three of you laugh. Who would have thought you would be laughing along with Hyunjin after all those years? Chan raised his brows, judging all of you, but he didn’t return his look at the menu, waiting for some explanation.

“I don’t know why the fuck people think we’re dating” Hyunjin answered him, shrugging as he looked at Paris in deep thought “I mean… I heard something about Friday’s party but I don’t know what made people think I’m into her” He mused.

“Oh, thank you!” She mocked, grinning at him in feigned pain, hand going to her chest “It’s nice to know I’m not worthy” She joked, and Hyunjin rolled his eyes at her.

“That’s not what I meant, okay?” He sighed “I mean that we didn’t even talk! I just drove you guys there and took you home… I mean, Y/N was together and nobody is saying that we’re doing a threesome” He reasoned.

“People know we don’t get along” You reminded him.

“Oh, so you’re not against threesomes?” He smiled knowingly, blinking at you a few times in mock innocence. You rolled your eyes, looking at Chan before pointing at his friend.

“Please, control your friend” Chan chuckled at you but didn’t say anything, resuming his studies at the menu “Can’t you interact like a normal human being, dude? You’re such a flirt!” You complained.

“I’m not flirting” He scoffed, resting his face in his hand as he put his elbow on the table “You would know if was flirting with you” He added, giving you an obnoxious smile.

“Well, I can’t remember a thing about Friday’s party” Paris mimicked Hyunjin’s position, twisting her head at you as she did, ignoring him completely “Are you guys sure that nothing happened?” She asked, eyes fixing on you for a few moments before fixing her gaze on Hyunjin.

You snapped your eyes at him, worry painting down your face as you expected him to not speak a thing about her slip up about Han. You held your breath in, eyes glued to Hyunjin’s mouth, attentive for any trying to mention Paris’ crush or anything similar to this. Hyunjin opened his mouth, unaware of your concerns.

“Well, I carried you?” He shrugged, and you sighed relieved, feeling your body relaxing slowly “Then you said some interesting things…” He teased, and you didn’t even think twice before your leg uncrossed itself and jerked his way, kicking him under the table “Ouch!” He snapped his head up, startled, hands going to cupping his knee as his face twisted in pain.

“Sorry, It was for Chan” You smiled apologetically, glancing at your friend that suddenly raised his head from the menu again, frowning at you in confusion “Let’s choose something quickly, I’m hungry” You changed the subject, fixing your gaze now on Chan, not missing the way Hyunjin rubbed his legs, pouting at you.

“Wait… What interesting things?” Paris asked, not buying your attempt to distract her. You darted your eyes to Hyunjin, and this time he seemed to notice your worries, snorting before sending you a look to calm you down.

“You said you loved me” He explained, sustaining your gaze for few seconds before looking at Paris, letting you know that it was all he was going to say. You sighed again, moving your eyes to Chan, who studied you silently.

“I was thinking of getting something different today” He explained himself, lowering the menu to the table, showing his whole face to you “To celebrate your new… Friendship or something?” He eyed Hyunjin in doubt, wondering if he could call both of you friends, and you chuckled at him.

“Celebrate our new something sounds nice” You admitted, “So that’s why you’re looking at the options like your life depends on it?” He smiled sheepishly and you let a wholeheartedly laugh out, getting Hyunjin and Paris’ attention.

“You’re so cute together” Paris voiced her thoughts, smiling fondly at you two, which made both of you roll your eyes and sigh.

“Will you ever get tired of this?” Chan asked displeased, looking at Paris as if she had one brain cell struggling to survive “We’re just friends” He added, handing the menu to you, giving up on choosing something new “Just pick up whatever you want, I can’t decide on anything” You took the menu, furrowing your brows as you looked at the options.

“I’m not saying you guys should date! I’m saying you’re cute friends” Paris defended herself, leaning to your side, to look at the menu with you, grimacing just like you when you saw the prices “Holy shit, is that how much you pay every time we come here?” She raised her eyes, surprised.

“They will try to choose the cheapest” Hyunjin rolled his eyes, taking the menu from your hands “It doesn’t even matter what we choose because they’ll like it… They can eat anything, I swear to you” He took a glance at the menu, humming when he found something that seemed to please him, raising his hand so he could order.

“You’re not so picky yourself’ You taunted “Weren’t you the one who loved the hot dog stand?” You smiled victoriously but he scoffed, crossing his arms when he saw the waiter coming in your way.

“When did I ever say that?” He acted dumb, raising his brows in feigned confusion. You rolled your eyes, waiting for him to order the food, speaking those strange French words that you would never try to pronounce. The waiter noted everything down, smiling politely and going away, as Hyunjin returned his gaze at you.

“You called it good” You reminded him “Actually! You called it really good” You emphasized, crossing your arms to copy him, both of you looking at each other mockingly.

“I’m sure I called it fine” He retorted.

“I call you a liar” You scoffed in disbelief “You ate it like a child!” You accused, and this time he laughed at you, a teasing grin spreading on his face.

“I call you delusional” He mocked “I’d never eat a stand hot dog like a child nor say it’s good” You rolled your eyes at him.

“Really good” You corrected.

“Really good” He agreed, smirking.

“Chan, you ate those! Wouldn’t you call it really good? Isn’t he being an ass?” You whined, nudging Chan under the table. He just rested his hand on his other one, watching both of you silently.

“You just called me an ass?” Hyunjin asked amused “She called me an ass! Won’t you do something?” He nudged Chan, joining you in disturbing him.

“Yes, I will call it not my problem” He grimaced, a half-heart grin on his face. You laughed, nudging Hyunjin this time, getting a knowing smirk from him. He leaned on Chan, resting his elbow on his shoulder and tilting his head.

“Weren’t you the one who was so concerned about all our arguments?” He teased “I thought you wanted to be our dad or something” He added, making Chan roll his eyes again, sighing.

“Now you’ll mock me for making you being friends” He whined, turning his head to Hyunjin and looking him in the eyes “You totally liked that hot dog, that shit is amazing” He finally stated, and you high-fived Paris, proud of your favorite stand being recognized.

“Well, I’m glad you like my choices, Daddy” You laughed, and this time Chan snorted, shaking Hyunjin’s arm off of him and leaning back on his chair.

“I’d be even happier if you choose not to argue about useless things and bringing me in” He gave you a fake smile, although you could see his eyes glinting in amusement.

“I guess you’ll have to love me with all my flaws” You joked, making him chortle, nodding fondly at you.

“Yeah, I guess I will” He gave in, smiling.

Thursday

Your week seemed to have at least 30 days inside it.

That was how much work you had to do since Monday. You felt relieved as you finally finished your part of Mr.Lee’s project while you were working at the Library today, writing all the discussions you had with Paris through the week and all the points you and Hyunjin had gathered until now. Today, you just needed to take a break now that you finished everything you had to do for the day.

As you approached the Hot Dog Stand, happy to see that this time it was way less crowded ─ Just a few people hanging around there─, you frowned at a tall figure looking around the options displayed, seeming really lost even though you only saw his back. You scoffed, shaking your head in amusement as you finally got to the stand, not even sparing him a glance.

“Make it two, Mister” You asked, delighted as you felt him flinch beside you. You glanced at him, a knowing smirk on your lips, as you silently showed off to him, leaning against the stand and tilting your head to the side “Look who is here” You taunted, getting off on how he shrunk, clearly embarrassed.

“Will I hear the end of it?” He whined, and you laughed at him, shrugging.

“Who knows?” You grinned, turning your back to the stand and crossing your arms, leaning on the stool there “I thought it wasn’t fancy enough for your rich ass” You teased him, and this time he snorted, shrugging back to you.

“You got me, I really loved it” He admitted “I was just teasing you yesterday… That’s what friends do, right?” He risked, and you smiled at him, this time no teasing on your face.

“Maybe a little bit too soon?” You said playfully, getting a light kick on your foot as an answer “You can just order a ten when you come here by yourself” You instructed him, and his eyes lit up immediately, a bright smile making way to his lips.

“Oh, thanks! I was going to ask for a usual but then I was like” He chortled before continuing, making you laugh “I just came here once the man won’t even remember me” He laughed at himself, leaning on the stool next to yours.

You fell into silence.

It wasn’t really an awkward silence but it wasn’t completely comfortable either. You glanced at each other once in a while, wondering if you should try to make some conversation up but letting it go, waiting for your order to be ready. As soon as the employee called you, giving the orders, you gave him enough money to pay for the both of you, and Hyunjin frowned at you.

“I will pay mine” He said but you nudged him with your foot as you fixed your food to take a bite.

“It’s a payback for the coffee” You stated, chewing your hot dog. He looked at you uncertainly, taking a bite of his own, and you rolled your eyes at him “I can pay for two hot dogs, Hyunjin” You chuckled. He waved his hands effusively, widening his eyes, and shaking his head eagerly; clearly nervous with how you took his hesitance.

“No! That’s not it!” He reassured, swallowing down his food, almost choking on it ”I just… I don’t know, it’s strange to be treated like this” He shrugged “I’m not used to it” He admitted, and you nodded, imagining that being rich had made him pay for a lot of things for his dates.

Not that it was a date.

“Oh! Are you really going to Han’s match tomorrow?” You asked curiously, suddenly remembering their bickering from the last week. He nodded while taking another bite at his food, stocking it on his cheeks and cupping his mouth to answer you.

“Yes, Paris is really excited I’m going with you guys… I guess she’s happy seeing us getting closer” He declared, shrugging “Or maybe she’s really into me and just blurted out his name for no reason” He joked, and you laughed along with him.

“No way” You shook your head, disagreeing with him “She didn’t even let you touch her shoulder and she let Han throw his arm around her… She totally likes him” You stated, and he hummed, pondering.

“Or maybe she’s just shy and doesn’t know how to take my touches” He suggested, and you rolled your eyes.

“Anyway, so you’re coming with us” You brought back the subject not so subtly, making him grin, wiggling his brows.

“Are we jealous?” He teased, making you scoff.

“Yeah, I’m even turning green” You extended your arm for him to see it, and he burst out laughing “It may also be because you make me sick” You said playfully, and he pushed you lightly, still laughing.

“Hey! You’re mean” He whined, and this time you smiled at him, amused.

Indeed a strange amicable week with your ex-nemesis.

////

Tagging: @thatrandomoneinthecorner

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cavalierious-whim · 3 years

Text

A Flexible Approach [FE3H]

Sylvix | Canon-Compliant | War Phase | Explicit

Their shared tent is very small and Sylvain learns just how flexible Felix is.

A/N: Oh my God, I can't believe I wrote this (actually I can, and it's all because of some random prompt I saw on tumblr, whoops). As always, it's Sato's fault, but I think by now I've just accepted this as part of my daily life. Read here on A03 for better formatting and follow me here on Twitter!

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Sylvain’s irksome at his best moments and downright infuriating at his worst.

Felix just wants to get off. They’ve been too busy with war; slogging it through marshy battlefields, days on end in tents, and no privacy. Barely enough time to wash up with dirt-tinged water and pass out before being up at dawn to march off again.

And it isn’t that he wants to hurry. No, no, he wants to enjoy this, as he should. As they both should. There’s been little more than a few quick jerk-offs when no one was looking.

Sylvain won’t shut up, though, and it’s not in the good kind of way where he croons praise close to Felix’s ear, breath ghosting the shell of it and warming the skin there.

The tent is cramped, not really meant for two people. Byleth was mildly amused when Felix proclaimed he’d be sharing one with Sylvain, one of the few cracks of genuine emotion they’ve ever seen from him. And no one’s ever said anything even though Felix knows that they want to.

They aren’t exactly subtle or quiet for that matter. Try as they might.

Tonight’s one of those nights when they’re feeling extra frisky, blood pumping where it’s probably the worst. Straight into the gut and below. Felix wanted to sleep but then Sylvain slotted behind him, grinding their hips together, and-- well, he’s a simple man in the end.

Still, they don’t usually indulge to this point while out on the field. For a lot of reasons. It’s hot and sticky. It’s dirty and muddy. They’re covered in who knows what even after a quick rinse. Their tent is directly in the middle of the camp, strategically placed by their dear Professor because the more people they’re around, the less likely it is that he and Sylvain will be up to no good.

It’s turning out to be more work than anticipated, though, and part of Felix wishes that they’d just committed to the quick handjobs that they usually manage. The other part of him just wants to get railed. Preferably sooner than later.

“You’re a lot more flexible than I thought,” says Sylvain, a hand on the back of Felix’s thigh as he pushes at it.

“Shut up,” says Felix, annoyed.

“I’m just saying,” says Sylvain, fingers hooking underneath Felix’s knee and lifting it slightly.

“Ugh, this is too awkward--”

“Are you saying that you want to stop?”

“No!” Felix says it a little too quickly and a little too loudly, something that greatly amuses Sylvain.

He reaches out with his other hand to cover Felix’s mouth. Then he leans over, smirking. “Quiet, Felix. Weren’t you the one who said we’d have to keep it down?”

“You’re one to talk,” says Felix, quieter than before, barely above a hiss.

“Okay, okay.” Sylvain’s quiet for a touch too long, just looking at him. “Would you say that you’re Felixable?”

“That’s it,” says Felix immediately. He still has his own tent. It’s rolled up and tied up tight, hanging off his camping pack. “I’ll just handle this on my own-”

Felix’s words dissolve into an embarrassing squawk as Sylvain rubs the palm of his hand over his crotch, squeezing at his half-hard cock through the rough fabric of his smalls. It annoys him, how easily he turns to mush under such a simple touch. How little it takes for him to crumble at the behest of Sylvain.

“Bastard,” hisses Felix.

Sylvain laughs at Felix’s ornery temperament, and how his hips chase after when Sylvain pulls away, desperate for more friction, for a longer touch. “But I’m your bastard,” says Sylvain affectionately, leaning over to plant a sloppy kiss against Felix’s face. “And you love it.”

Felix pushes Sylvain’s face away roughly. Then presses his hips closer, trying to get as much friction as possible, vexed at how desperate he’s become. His cock was already burning with need; Sylvain’s hot-handed touch only made it worse.

And Sylvain knows it, evident in the devious smirk that’s plastered across his face. Sylvain can read Felix like that well-worn copy of war tactics Byleth’s passed around to them all, so there isn’t a point in trying to hide it. Felix doesn’t. Sylvain’s hand still rests on the back of his thigh, thumbing across the smooth skin there.

“Lazy,” says Felix. “Are you going to just sit there or are you going to fuck me?”

Sylvain hums at that, amused. “Impatient,” he says, pressing a quick kiss to the inside of Felix’s knee, his lips lingering there. Felix groans in aggravation. “It’s been a while so I want to enjoy this.”

“There isn’t time,” says Felix. Never enough time, he thinks like always. Sylvain’s right, though; it’s been too long since they’ve indulged in anything other than brief touches that are barely satisfying.

“There’s enough,” says Sylvain. “Certainly enough to enjoy ourselves.”

Handjobs are enjoyable, thinks Felix. Even their quick fucks in the dark, down and dirty when they’re too exhausted to do much more than pull their pants half-down. Felix understands what Sylvain means because even he misses those long nights where they pull apart each other slowly, fucking lazily as they burrow into the bedsheets. Sweet touches that Felix would never admit to and the soft kiss marks that he leaves behind to stake his claim.

It’s been too long.

Still, they’re in the middle of the camp and there are prying ears. “Sylvain,” hisses Felix lowly. “I just want to--”

“I know what you want,” says Sylvain, his hand finding Felix’s side, tugging at the hem of his shirt.

“Doubtful,” says Felix even though it’s a lie. Sylvain can play him like a lyre, plucking the perfect chords that will melt him right into a puddle.

Sylvain chuckles against Felix’s skin as he leans over, pressing his nose into the side of his neck. Their positioning was already awkward but it only gets worse as Sylvain dips lower, fingers ghosting along Felix’s ribcage. Felix doesn’t fight him when he tugs his shirt higher to suck a soft little bruise into his sternum.

“Never,” says Sylvain, insufferably confident.

Felix is about to retort when Sylvain’s mouth finds his nipple, tongue swirling around it before flicking the little nub there. Felix moans softly instead, arching into the touch, biting at his lip as Sylvain lavishes him with attention.

Damn him, thinks Felix. Damn this stupid dolt and his perfect mouth.

Sylvain thumbs over his other nipple, rolling it between his fingers gently. “So easy,” he murmurs against Felix’s skin, his breath ghosting his other nipple before tonguing it again.

“Fuck off,” says Felix.

“Fuck you,” says Sylvain, pulling back to look at Felix. He runs a hand down his chest, fingers trailing along well-honed abs before stopping right at the edge of Felix’s smalls. Waiting with infuriating patience. This is where Sylvain always has the upper hand-- he’s someone who can wait. Forever if need be.

Felix can’t. “Get to it, then,” he says, impatient as he ruts against Sylvain the best that he can, legs wrapped tightly around Sylvain’s hips. The tight space of their tent makes it damn near impossible and the lack of relief is making him irate.

“Alright, alright.” Sylvain tugs at Felix’s underthings, and after a series of awkward movements they’re off, Felix bared to the world. His cock is hard, already wet at the tip and dripping. Waiting for the good shit to start happening, to finally be sated.

“What if I’m on top?” asks Felix. He’s already moving when Sylvain grabs him by the legs and holds him there. And, he’s still mostly dressed, only the collar of his shirt undone. Felix can barely see his collarbone, just a peek of skin there.

Insufferable.

“No,” says Sylvain, his hands warm against the backs of his thighs. “Like earlier,” he continues, pushing Felix’s legs upwards, expecting resistance. There is none and Felix’s knees wind up near his ears, almost pressed into the thin mattress. “Shit.” It’s a soft little swear into the night, and Sylvain looks at Felix like he’s seeing him anew, far too delighted in this revelation.

Felix forgets entirely about his discomfort the moment he sees the unbridled lust that’s bloomed across Sylvain’s face. “You’re too slow,” he says, keeping up the annoyed facade he’s spent years perfecting.

Sylvain’s still dressed when he dips lower. Felix knows it isn’t comfortable for him either, it’s hell on his knees and there’s a high possibility that Sylvain’s feet are probably sticking right out the tent flap because he’s got absurdly long legs.

The moment that Sylvain presses a thumb against the skin just under his balls, Felix stops giving a shit about the embarrassment of getting caught. Fucking isn’t against the rules and everyone knows that they don’t share a tent because they’re close friends.

Sylvain’s touch is soft and sweet, far too slow for Felix’s liking, of course. He cants his hips up, trying to get his point across, trying to remind Sylvain that there’s a reason to all of this. “Hurry up,” says Felix, nodding to his pack. “There’s oil in there.”

Because of course there is. He’s learned to always be prepared.

Sylvain, the obstinate bastard, has other plans. He leans close to press a kiss to the tip of Felix’s cock instead. Felix groans in frustration, moans in pleasure, and nearly smacks him upside the head. And then Sylvain dips lower, tongue trailing across his balls, over the soft, sensitive skin there and--

Felix damn near kicks down one side of their tent when Sylvain licks right across his hole. The sound that Felix looses is unholy, a breathy little moan punctuated by a whine that he tries his damndest to hide. He fails miserably.

“Too loud,” murmurs Sylvain against him. But he doesn’t stop, tongue swirling around Felix’s entrance slowly, sinfully, and with perfected intent.

They don’t often do this; it’s always the wrong time and place. The goal is always to get off quickly and enjoy what they can when they can. Sylvain seems to want to indulge despite where they are, despite their early call time, even though he knows this kind of thing turns Felix into a mewling mess and that there are prying ears all around.

Sylvain’s thumbs at his ass cheeks, spreading them wide, tongue soft and warm as he licks across the entirety of his hole.

“Fuck,” says Felix, unable to stop himself.

“Not yet,” says Sylvain, cheeky in that insufferable way of his.

“Shut up--” Felix’s voice pitches high when Sylvain presses his tongue inside, just enough to get a taste of what he truly wants. He can feel the way that Sylvain smiles against him, tongue writhing as he licks into him, everything so very precise.

Sylvain’s perfection in bed. Even Felix can recognize it. Eager to please, patient in return, willing to change things up and do the unexpected; a winning combination as far as Felix is concerned.

A finger traces Felix’s rim, already slicked and ready to go. Sylvain hesitates, pressing in only with his tongue, and Felix sighs in frustration. He drops a hand to his groin to curl a hand around his straining cock, but Sylvain grabs his wrist. And holds him there with surprising strength.

“Not yet,” he says against Felix’s ass, tracing after the words with the tip of his tongue.

Felix’s head drops back into the shitty camping pillow, eyes closing tight with a crabbed grunt. Normally, he’d tell Sylvain to fuck off. Normally, he’d push his hand off, flip them around and take whatever he wants.

And Sylvain likes it when he does that, when Felix takes control. Felix also likes it like this, where Sylvain pulls him apart and puts him right back together, boneless and satiated.

Even if he has to bite at his lip to keep the edge off.

Sylvain pauses and looks at him, waiting patiently.

“Dolt,” says Felix, wiggling his hips. Ignoring the dark, sultry look that covers Sylvain’s face, and the way that his lips are slick with spit, glistening in the low light of the small oil lamp. “Back to work, you imbecile.”

To anyone else, it’d be an insult, but with Sylvain, it’s an endearment. He soaks it up heartily with a wide smile, pressing a kiss to the swell of his ass before swooping lower once more. This time, Sylvain slips a finger in next to his tongue, a slick and neat maneuver all at once. Just the way that Felix likes it.

Felix bites his moan off just in time and cants his hips down, pressing closer to Sylvain’s hand. Sylvain makes good use of his finger alongside his mouth. His tongue is wet and warm as it licks into him. His finger is insistent as he presses against his walls, avoiding exactly where Felix wants it.

Utterly infuriating. He feels the slow burn in his gut, the way that his pleasure coils just barely. Sylvain’s playing hard to get, trying to drag out his pleasure and make him beg. Felix won’t give in, refuses to.

“Useless,” murmurs Felix. “Good for nothing. I barely feel a thing.”

Sylvain hums at that as he adds a second finger, knowing that Felix is goading him. Sylvain plays right into his hand.

The burning stretch is exquisite, despite the generous amount of oil. Sylvain is always careful, always dutiful in his care. He also knows that Felix likes it fast and rough, the pull and tug at his rim. The way that he can feel it all in the aftermath, a reminder of what Sylvain’s done.

He’s only talked about it once and Sylvain’s never forgotten. He’s always been dutiful in his attentions after that, with touches that just barely sting in the best kind of way. Felix grinds his hips against his hand, his face.

Sylvain’s no longer tonguing at him, he’s watching, eyes blissed out as his fingers gently scissor in and out, pulling at Felix’s rim in a delicious stretch. Staring, entirely engrossed, pupils blown wide as his hand moves, thumb tucked against the skin just underneath his balls. He licks his lips, wanting to taste again.

Felix is too impatient for that.

“Enough of that,” he says with a huff.

“Never enough of that,” says Sylvain.

“For tonight it is,” says Felix.

Sylvain pauses and their gazes meet once more. Sylvain sweeps the length of Felix’s body, taking in the way that he’s curled tightly into himself, knees near his ears. The ruddy pink of his face, the red strain of his hard cock against his belly. The annoyed look on Felix’s face as he waits for him to just get to the point.

“Fuck,” says Sylvain, completely enamored.

“About time,” says Felix obstinately. “Been waiting too long.” Sylvain doesn’t answer, only sits up between Felix’s legs. Then Felix shifts, a hand dropping to Sylvain’s crotch, squeezing. Sylvain punches out a long breath, eyes slipping closed as he tries to keep his composure.

Sylvain’s easy to please, getting off on doing all the hard work. Felix rewards him by running his fingers over his still-clothed cock, gripping him tightly. The resulting whine is worth ten thousand wars.

“Good boy,” whispers Felix into the quiet of their tent. Sylvain’s cock twitches at the praise.

It’s too hard to pull his pants entirely off, so Sylvain settles on yanking them half-down around his knees. Felix looks, taking in the peek of his collarbone where it meets his shirt, and then the cut of his hips, then the swell of his well-honed thighs and ass from years of riding.

And then there’s his cock, hard and waiting, perfectly formed. It always sits well in Felix’s hand or throat, and there isn’t a thing better to fill him.

Sylvain lifts Felix’s legs, pulling Felix’s ass to his groin. Felix groans when Sylvain teases his hole with the tip of his cock, just barely pressing in. Already flushed and wanting, itching to fill that void left behind by his fingers. Then Felix curses as Sylvain presses in and slides straight home.

Annoying, how easily Felix loses himself in the feel of it; the stinging burn and pressure of Sylvain’s cock, how perfect he feels. Nothing else can compare. Not Felix’s fingers on lonely nights, or well-crafted toys bought from the coy Anna, each to the burning memory of Sylvain’s touch.

The answer is always Sylvain. Felix always runs right back to him, even when it’s against his better judgment, like now. Sylvain insists on leaning back as much as possible despite the cramped space. Insists on looking between them, to see where they’re connected, even in the low lamplight.

Felix knows they’ve made too much noise, that the entire camp is privy to what they’re up to.

Sylvain groans at the sight, hand slipping between them, thumbing over where Felix is stretched tight around him. “Perfect,” says Sylvain, pressing in again, far slower than Felix would like. And Sylvain knows it, that Felix is impatient and wants it dirty and fast and rough.

“Dolt,” says Felix in a hush, the word pinched as Sylvain executes a perfect grind. An expletive shortly follows as Felix’s head falls back against the shitty cot pillow.

Sylvain laughs and leans over again, pressing his nose into Felix’s neck. “So pliable,” he says, tongue sneaking out from his lips to lap at Felix’s sweaty skin. “Supple, malleable--”

“Intolerable,” cuts in Felix, earning just a bit of his bite back. He clenches tight around Sylvain who moans in response, biting at his lip to keep from calling out. Felix can’t help the smirk, desperate to gain the upper hand band.

But then Sylvain changes the angle, raising his hips slightly and plunging back in, relentless. A perfect assault against his prostate, a smooth and calculated motion that hits the target every time. Felix’s voice hitches and he curses again, nearly going slack. His legs tighten as they settle around Sylvain’s waist as he tries to move against him, tries to meet the thrusts.

“Supine,” says Sylvain, his breath ghosting his skin before biting at it. He sucks a bruise that’ll last for days. Everyone will see and Felix won’t care.

Supine indeed, thinks Felix. Lost in the feel of it, craving more. Gone is his decorum and carefully controlled demeanor in favor of sinking into the feel of Sylvain’s body heat, and the filthy glide of his cock.

Felix wouldn’t trade Sylvain for anyone else, not that he’d ever voice it aloud. Sylvain knows; he sees it in the moments like this even if Felix isn’t vocal about it. War is difficult, impossible even, but this one small thing they share is enough to keep them hanging on, if only for another day.

That, and Sylvain’s cock is utter perfection, snug within him, hitting all the right spots.

“About time,” says Felix, ever contrary even when he’s given in.

“Never enough, for you,” says Sylvain in a soft murmur, his hips pumping against Felix in a steady rhythm.

“No,” agrees Felix unapologetically. “More,” he says.

Sylvain grunts but pauses, pushing at Felix’s legs again, unwrapping them from where they rest around his waist. His hands find the back of Felix’s pale thighs and he says, “Hold them.”

Felix blinks and then smirks, lips crooked towards one side. “Oh, like that do you? That I’m flexible?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s obvious,” says Sylvain, looking between them as he slides in and out, pulling at Felix’s rim. Felix knows that he must look like a ruined mess; face flushed, hair mussed, his ass slick and stretched.

Sylvain loves it, loves him, so it’s the least he can do when he grabs the backs of his thighs and pulls them towards his chest.

“Fuck,” says Sylvain.

“You could fuck me more,” says Felix.

They both know that he can’t. The cadence of Sylvain’s hips is already losing its steady rhythm. Nearing his end, and Felix is too. He can feel the pressure mounting in his gut, that slow-stoking fire starting to set ablaze.

Sylvain’s gaze is glued to him, sliding over his form from Felix’s legs, to where he holds them, to where Sylvain’s thrusting home. Sylvain bites at his lip, worrying it between his teeth as he tries not to make too much noise.

They’re already too loud. There isn’t a chance in Ailell that the rest of the camp can’t hear the wet slap of slickened skin against slicker skin. The way that Sylvain pounds Felix into the mattress within an inch of his life.

Or so it feels.

“Good boy,” says Felix quietly, and Sylvain whimpers, eyes slipping closed like he can’t bear to look at him. Like he’ll come right then and there if he does. “Always good for me, always giving me what I want,” continues Felix, goading him further.

“What you need,” says Sylvain. He drops a hand to Felix’s stomach where it hesitates. “What else do you need?” His fingers twitch just above Felix’s aching cock where it’s hard and straining against his belly, bouncing slightly with every thrust Sylvain gives him.

“Not that,” says Felix. Sylvain’s eyes snap open, looking back at him. They meet gazes and Felix can practically feel the heat that rolls off him. Sylvain’s nails dig into his stomach, just barely, trying to ground himself.

“I want to come with only your cock,” says Felix, a dirty little whisper that fills the tent. “I bet that I could. You always do so well, know exactly how to push my buttons.”

Sylvain moans at the praise. He grabs Felix by the hips, anchoring him there. Felix still holds his legs up, still folded into himself, muscles burning with the strain. It’s worth the look on Sylvain’s face as he watches Felix like a starving man who’s finally getting a meal.

Sylvain’s a simple man and loves to be praised, so Felix keeps at it, murmuring compliments to his ego that he knows will drop straight to Sylvain’s gut. His hips stutter slightly as he loses his grip and the steady slide. It’s good, it’s so good; Felix can feel his body coiling tighter and tighter.

Felix comes first, a rarity in most cases. It’s usually Sylvain to fall with Felix shortly after, but this time his cock hits the right spot at the right time. Everything within him snaps-- his stress, his thoughts of the war, the idea of sleepless nights ahead.

All he can think, hear, see and smell is Sylvain and the way that they’re connected. Felix tightens around him, bucking slightly as he lets go of a leg. Sylvain’s cock pulls so deliciously as he fucks him through his orgasm.

“Sylvain,” says Felix, a scarce show of affection that he knows Sylvain will tuck away and keep the memory of as he often does.

“Fuck,” Sylvain says, still rutting into him. One second and then another, and then he’s tumbling after, chasing that high as he comes deep inside Felix.

“Shit,” murmurs Felix, “Sylvain, fuck.” His curse echoes Sylvain’s as he drops his legs. When Sylvain moves to pull away, Felix makes a pathetic little whine before squeezing his legs tight around him. “No.”

A gentle command that Sylvain ignores entirely. He smiles into Felix’s sweaty neck, pressing a soft little kiss there before untangling themselves. Felix doesn’t protest when Sylvain looks at his ass, thumb sweeping through his come and pulling lightly at his rim.

“Sylvain,” he says, warningly.

But Sylvain, the handsome devil, only smiles in return before bending Felix back again and dropping to lap at his hole. It’s a rare indulgence. When Sylvain partakes, he does so enthusiastically.

Felix is too sensitive, still thrumming from his orgasm. Still coming down from that high. The feel of Sylvain’s tongue, wet and probing as he licks up the mess that he made nearly sends Felix right back up.

“I wanted to enjoy this,” says Sylvain against him, “I said as much earlier.” A finger finds Felix’s hole, and then two, pressing in with more care than not. Teasing his walls as Sylvain laps at him.

Felix moans, falling back into the cot. His cock is filling out again; from the feel of it, from the intimacy of it, at the behest of Sylvain’s overt eagerness to eat him out.

Sylvain directs Felix to hold his legs again. “Just once more, darling,” he says, “Just for a moment.” Felix complies wordlessly.

Then, Sylvain spreads his asscheeks and dives right back in. Felix keens, not bothering to bite his lip, not bothering to hide it this time. Fuck the camp, he thinks, as Sylvain works his magic, doing his best to pull Felix right back apart a second time.

His tongue swirls around his rim and his fingers spread wide before pushing back in and hooking against that perfect spot. Sylvain raises a hand, hovering it over Felix’s cock. Felix huffs in annoyance, knowing what it is that Sylvain wants to hear.

“Please,” says Felix, “Again.”

Sylvain’s grip around his length is warm and tight as he jerks him expertly, perfectly timed with the thrust of his fingers against his ass. Felix can’t hold back the moan that escapes him, can’t help the way that he ruts against Sylvain’s face.

The fiery pressure in his gut is wearing thin again, tightening more and more. Sylvain’s fingers curl around the head of his cock, smearing the come that’s already there, using it to ease the glide of his hand.

The sounds are sinful, the way that Sylvain moans against him. Sylvain’s debauched, his face pressed against Felix’s ass like he won’t survive unless he laps up every last drop of his spend. Licking up to suck at his balls, before dropping right back to his prize. His fingers pump into him with a steady and gentle press, milking Felix’s prostate for all that it’s worth.

Were this a different night, Felix might test his limits, might see just how long Sylvain can keep him going before pulling away.

It’s already too late though, he’s already slipping over the edge again. The line of pleasure within him snaps and Felix is coming again, all over Sylvain’s hand, hips rising and falling with his overstimulation. Sylvain, mercifully, stops moving his hand, only cupping his cock.

He pulls back and presses a kiss against the meat of Felix’s inner thigh. He’s red in the face, eyes hazed with pleasure, mouth and chin slick with come. His come. Felix etches the sight into his memory for lonely nights to come.

The cleanup is clinical, perfunctory even. They wipe themselves off silently and manage to pull on their pants, at least. They’ve been caught with them down, even in bed, a few too many times.

When they lay in the cot once more, Felix is the one to spoon Sylvain, his preferred position. Wrapped around him like a clingy brat, nose pressed to the nape of Sylvain’s neck, smelling the sweat of their lovemaking.

Remembering their lovemaking. The best thing to go to sleep to.

“Tired,” says Sylvain quietly. He hasn’t blown out their tiny little oil lamp yet and his face is lit with a dingy orange glow. “But I bet the others will be too.”

“You are insufferably loud when you want to be,” says Felix, teasing. They both know that he was far louder. They also know that they won’t hear the end of it the next day.

“And you are divine,” says Sylvain. “Truly. I didn’t know that you could bend that way.”

“What do you think that I do when I train?”

There’s a brief silence and then Sylvain says, “Run things through with swords? Pointy-end goes that way, and all that?”

“I also stretch,” says Felix, scoffing. Sylvain’s thinking again, Felix can tell. Probably terribly dirty things like how and what he can bend Felix over. “Want to help me stretch next time?”

A question tinged with innuendo, something usually brought forth by Sylvain, not Felix.

“Depends. Will there be an audience?”

“That can be arranged, though I’d much prefer to have you all to myself. Perhaps late one night when the training pit is empty. The stars out and all that.” It’s about as romantic as Felix will ever get.

Sylvain only laughs before he leans over and blows out the candle.

#fire emblem three houses #felix hugo fraldarius #felix x sylvain #sylvain jose gautier #sylvain/felix #sylvix #fe3h #fire emblem fanfiction

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xe-company · 3 years

Text

❝ DON’T BLINK, YOU MIGHT MISS US! Hello, we’re LITTLE NIGHTMARES! ❞

ḶÎṰȾḺỆ ŊỊƓḪṬḾḀȐɆṨ, often stylized as just LITTLE NIGHTMARES or just NIGHTMARES, is a 5-membered girl group consisting of all Japanese members; some being half Japanese. The group originally debuted as a four-membered group with mini album CHAPTER 0: RULES on AUGUST 12TH 2022. It wasn’t until NOVEMBER 19TH, 2023 that a fifth member was announced to be joining the group. Currently the group doesn’t have a leader. Each member represents a respective nightmare and fear.

⸻ ⧓ BASICS

DEBUT ALBUM — CHAPTER 0: RULES

type of album: mini album title song: EGO OVERDOSE how many songs: 4

NUMBER OF MEMBERS — 4 [at debut] ; 5 [currently]

age range of members — 1999 - 2002

FANDOM NAMES — SOULS / LOST SOULS

CONCEPT: fear + nightmares, apocalyptic, controlling, brainwashing + mind controlling, unknown, trauma inducing [i’ll be putting warnings in any writing of this group so you’re aware incase there’s some triggers you might have !!]

OFFICIAL COLORS: [#A1A6A8] CADET GRAY, [#B3BBBC] SILVER, [#535354] DAVY’S GRAY, [#262729] RAISEN BLACK, [#4F453E] TAUPE

⸻ ⧓ ADDITIONAL INFORMATION / LORE —

The BLOOD MOON is when all their fears + nightmares are strengthened and perceived as increasingly horrible and terrifying compared to when the moon is normal.

Each member has a respective charm; the charms were given to the girls at birth and were designed to protect the them from the BLOOD MOON and the things they fear:

{KINJU} - COIN + DICE {CHIKO} - MATCH STICK + CARD {YUKI} - KEY + MASK {YOSHI} - CHESS PIECE + SAFETY PIN {SETO} - COMPASS + CAGE

Each member has two different fears;

{KINJU} - Fear of being chased [Diokophobia} + Fear of being stared at [Scopophobia] [CHIKO} - Fear of death / dead things [Necrophobia] + Fear of the dark [Nyctophobia] {YUKI} - Fear of mirrors [Eisoptrophobia] + Fear of clocks [Chronomentrophobia] {YOSHI} - Fear of buttons [Koumpounophobia] + Fear of numbers [Numerophobia] {SETO} - Fear of being lost [Mazeophobia] + Fear of being controlled [???]

Each member also has a respective nightmare:

{KINJU} - THE EYE {CHIKO} - THE GUESTS {YUKI} - THE MIRROR MAN {YOSHI} - THE OTHER MOTHER {SETO} - THE BROADCASTER

⸻ ⧓ MEMBER LINE-UP

Yanagi ‘SETO’ Setsuki . . . [ 1999 ] . . . Vocalist, Dancer

Yoshiko ‘YOSHI’ Kase . . . [ 2001 ] . . . Vocalist, Dancer

Shibata ‘CHIKO’ Sachiko . . . [ 2002 ] . . . Dancer, Vocalist

Sugimoto ‘YUKI’ Yukiko . . . [ 2002 ] . . . Dancer, Vocalist

Naito ‘KINJU’ Miyako . . . [ 2001 ] . . . Vocalist, Dancer

⸻ ⧓ SOCIAL MEDIA

TWITTER: @ LITTLE//NIGHTMARES

YOUTUBE: DON’T LOOK

REALITY SHOW / WEBSERIES TBD

VLIVE: LIL’NIGHTMARES

INSTAGRAM: @ LI.TT.LE//\\NI.GHT.MARES

SPOTIFY: LITTLE NIGHTMARES

Monthly followers: TBD Monthly song streamed: TBD Top 5 streamed songs: EGO OVERDOSE [CHAPTER 00: RULES] LITTLE NIGHTMARE [CHAPTER 04: RUN] REAPER [CHAPTER 01: WCKD] ANKLE BITER [VOLUME 01: PLAY PRETEND] CUSTOM HELL [CHAPTER 02: RABBIT HOLE] Where they’re most listening in: Osaka, Japan Hong Kong, China Toronto, Canada Auckland, New Zealand Kwangju, South Korea

⸻ ⧓ DISCOGRAPHY

CHAPTER 00: RULES ... [08/12/22] ... ‘1st Mini Album’

CHAPTER 01: WCKD ... [11/24/22] ... ‘2nd Mini Album’

CHAPTER 02: RABBIT HOLE ... [04/12/23] ... ‘3rd Mini Album’

CHAPTER 03: VIRUS ... [11/19/23] ... ‘4th Mini Album’

CHAPTER 04: RUN ... [05/07/24] ... ‘5th Mini Album’

CHAPTER 05: DNGRS ... [10/03/24] ... ‘6th Mini Album’

VOLUME 01: PLAY PRETEND ... [06/19/25] ... ‘1st Full Album’

#✄ ─── DON'T BLINK | [LITTLE NIGHTMARES]#✄ ─── NOW LOADING... | [GROUP PROFILE]#aes!ocnet #aeskocnet #kocsociety #g:little nightmares #xe nightmares #xecompany #xperience entertainment #xp entertainment #kpop oc gg #kpop oc girl group #kpop fake girl group

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kanonavi · 3 years

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FFXV anon from yesterday, with other fandoms that seem your type

FF7(Zack is your type if Prompto is, but Cloud is also Loveable Dork)

FF13 kinda fits the aesthetic I've gotten from your vibe? The story can be hard to follow(I didn't find it hard, nor did the person who got me into final fantasy as a whole, but apparently a lot of people do and hate it?) Idk man it's pretty and very futuristic.

Jujutsu Kaisen. Fits your vibe perfectly.

Hunter×Hunter, killugon would probably be your ship there?

Kizuna Ai, the Vtuber, seems like she'd give you a laugh

On the subject of vtubers, Korone. And Okayu.

Fire emblem 100%

Ive seen genshin in your posts so ik you like that, and with that i suggest Honkai if you haven't played it

Elsword? Not for everyone but you might like it? Laby is my main, love her to bits

Might come back with more later. Do you listen to vocaloid? You seem the type. Feel free to suggest stuff for me lol I'll give anything a shot!

Hello again, anon! This is... quite a bit, so let me just go down in the order of your list

The FFVII remaster has been on my radar since I follow some of the voice actors who were in it on twitter, and it seems like a classic for a reason, though I think that between it and FFXV I would probably pick the latter first. But FFXIII I know absolutely nothing about, so I’ll see about checking that out sometime to see if your assessment is correct!

Now, JJK is something that I’ve definitely considered on one particular day where I had a big hankering for shounen anime, but I ended up starting Haikyuu instead (though I didn’t get too far in that). The animation looks super nice though, I think I’m confident in saying that it’s currently rotting on my watchlist lol

HxH I have actually seen! I binged the whole thing back in winter of 2021 and sustained critical emotional damage from it. You’re absolutely correct that killugon is my ship, they’re just... so good. Definitely one of my favorite anime that I’ve seen

So there’s kind of a funny story with vtubers. I’ve kinda sworn off falling into that hole purely because my roommate is a huge vtuber simp (I say that affectionately btw. She’s working towards becoming an independent vtuber herself and it’s genuinely really cool). If I were to start looking into them though, I’d probably start with Calliope Mori and Kureiji Ollie. I like their vibes

I was actually a huge nut for Fire Emblem back in junior high school. I’ve played pretty much all of the newer games, and I’m just hoping they remaster the old ones so that I can experience their stories. Echoes and Three Houses have probably been my favorites that I’ve played, though Takumi and Leo from Fates will always hold a special place in my heart because they were one of my first otps

Honkai I’ve seen a bit of because my roommate plays it sometimes, but its world and characters just don’t grab me in the same way that Genshin’s do, so I think I’m gonna give it a pass in the long run. I’ll stick to just one main gacha hell

I was actually big on Elsword back in junior high as well. Lu and Ciel were my mains until Ain stole my heart and refused to return it. I doubt I’ll ever go back because grinding is such a huge pain in the ass, but Apostasia will always be my beloved angsty boy

Oh, vocaloid. Okay. Vocaloid was one of the main things that kind of led me to anime, so I do absolutely listen to it. Since you asked, I’ll give you a few recs!

- I’m Glad that You’re Evil Too, by Pinnochio-P feat. Hatsune Miku

- Becoming Potatoes, by Neru feat. Kagamine Rin and Len

- Pokapoka Planet, by Harumaki Gohan feat. Hatsune Miku

And as a little SynthV Bonus:

- Aura, by GHOST feat. Solaria

Admittedly I haven’t been listening to vocaloid as much recently (A lot more video game OSTs by the fault of Genshin and also orchestra), but these are some reliable bops.

#navi answers #basil anon

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lionheartkrbkzine · 3 years

Text

Lionheart’s Interactive KiriBaku Twitter Thread

Pro Heroes, Bed-Sharing, Fake Dating, Quirk Accident

Rating: T (for swearing & canon-typical violence)

At the end of each Twitter update was an overnight poll where our followers got to decide the direction of the plot or details about story elements!

Feel free to reply with your thoughts, predictions, or desires, and Head Mod ET and Social Media Mod Belle will do our best to incorporate your ideas! This is a thank you and a way for us all to collaborate together until application responses are sent out on April 5th.

🧡❤️💥⚙️💥❤️🧡

Three buildings were on fire, and it wasn’t Bakugou’s fault.

Blackened smokestacks billowed above the Tokyo cityscape as he and Kirishima raced toward the scene. Bakugou took to the skies while his partner swerved between sedans and work trucks parked bumper-to-bumper on the roadway. Bakugou’s boots skid on the rough gravel of rooftops as he blasted from one to the next, his scorching propellant warping the air behind him, leaving trails of Schlieren lines in his wake.

He crouched on the edge of a four-story building above the battle, glimpses of a hero battle raging beneath the haze of ash and concrete dust. Heroes with water-based quirks tried and failed to mitigate the damage of six gangly beams of red-hot light.

“Riot, you got eyes?” he asked into his earpiece.

“Not directly on the prize, but I’m getting intel now! Are you seeing how the beams flicker in and out?”

“Yeah. Probably low level of quirk control or erratic mentality. Or both.”

“The team leader on the ground says the villain’s in a donut hole of concrete. Rubble’s piled up on all sides, so no one can get to him.”

Bakugou rolled his eyes. “Amateurs.” The villain probably got himself cornered in a pit of fallen debris and figured he could wait it out or cause enough damage to try to make a run for it. “Shock Diamond, then.”

“Now?! Finally?! Hell yeah, let's go!"

Bakugou felt the heat of the lasers as one shaved the side of his building. He sneered at the heroes doing a piss-poor job of containment and checked behind him for the extent of the damage. A singed line gouged into the wall of a parking garage, but it stopped with a blunted tip before it speared the next building. The lasers didn’t seem to work like Aoyama’s — they could only extend so far.

Not made out of light, then. Kiri will be fine.

Not that he was worried about his partner. Kirishima could handle himself.

Even if Bakugou did pack the idiot a lunch every day and nudge him to go to bed when he fell asleep on the couch. And bought him cold medicine when he stayed out late walking Mirko’s seventy-eight-year-old receptionist home on dark, rainy nights. And bleached and dyed his roots when they started growing out.

But he wasn’t worried. The fact that the beams must be a form of slow-moving energy just gave them a tactical advantage. It had nothing to do with the fact that Kirishima’s hardening was more sensitive to concentrated light attacks yet the hero would bulldoze his way in front of them anyway.

The idiot’s voice rang through Bakugou’s earpiece. “Greenlight, Dynamight!”

“No matter how many times you say it, the rhyme doesn’t get any catchier.” Like a swimmer, he gripped the edge of the roof, rose halfway from his crouch, and dove into the pool of ash and smoke head-first.

Catching the current mid-air, he soared closer to where Kirishima was probably charging into the fray. Bakugou used the familiar shock of red hair as his signal and dropped feet-first, sending down a counterblast to stick the landing.

As Dynamight set himself up directly behind Red Riot, they charged the villain in a single-file line.

Without missing a beat, Kirishima extended his arms behind him at the same time Bakugou pushed his chest into the other man’s back. Kirishima’s arms locked onto Bakugou’s sides.

Bakugou tucked his chin, extended his hands behind him, and sent out a blinding explosion.

They rocketed forward — an unbreakable wall and a ballistic force. The perfect offense and defense. Explosion and Hardening.

Dynamight and Red Riot: Shock Diamond.

As they smashed through the rubble, the devastating strength of Red Riot’s quirk wracked through Bakugou’s body, but Kirishima held him tightly against his back. The shock waves cleared from Bakugou’s spine, and he jumped into the rapidly-clearing fog of smoke and dust.

His eyes widened. He whipped his head from side to side. He stopped, listened.

The pit was empty.

Meeting his partner’s eyes, Bakugou could only think of one thing to say. “What the fuck?!”

But Red Riot was similarly dumbfounded, his brows furrowed and jaw hanging slack, glancing around the center of the crater.

Bakugou kicked at a fallen pebble, its mere presence offensive in the heat of his frustration.

“Dynamight! Red Riot!” An aged hero with a sky blue costume ran toward them, waving his arms in ridiculous circles and spraying arcs of water through the air. “Good work out there!”

“We didn’t do shit! We just busted through a wall!”

"What Bakugou means to say is 'thank you', sir!”

“Well, the guy’s a problem for tomorrow’s heroes now. I’ve sent a team to scout the perimeter, and the police have his mugshot and quirk info. Another group is putting out the last of the fires. We’re lucky it’s a weekend — no one in those office buildings meant no casualties.” The older hero jiggled and sloshed as he rested his hands on his service belt, the edges of his existence just barely see-through as his costume molded to his mutation quirk. “For now, we need you two to handle some of the media coverage while we start to get a section of road opened back up.”

“No problem! Leave it to us!”

Flubber strode off, his boots leaving wet footprints on the asphalt.

Bakugou turned to his partner. “No.”

"Hey— where are you going?! You can't just leave the press to me all the time!"

Huffing, Bakugou slipped through an unblocked alleyway, brushing concrete crumbs off his shoulders as he took deep breaths. Normally he would feel some semblance of guilt about leaving a crime scene or abandoning Kirishima to fend off the harpies on his own, but the villain did escape. Bakugou might as well join the search of the perimeter.

A sharp scream had his feet slapping the pavement before his brain caught up.

Rounding the corner of an office park, the street opened up to allow for a municipal park one block long and one wide. Amidst swing sets and jungle gyms stood a proud maple tree. In one of its branches clung a girl no more than six years old.

Below her, a group of parents huddled in a crescent moon around the trunk, some gawking, some enjoying the entertainment, and others consoling one woman in the center of it all. Bakugou made a beeline for her.

She jumped at the hulking form of a grenade-adorned hero. He never tried very hard to work on his public image.

“Oh, Dynamight.” The whites of the woman’s eyes gaped in surprise, and she looked back and forth between the imposing hero and the girl high up in the tree. “She just— She feels more secure when she’s up high, and she got scared by all the noise and the lights, so she climbed into the tree, but now she can’t get back down and she’s too high for me to reach her, and I can’t climb up—”

“Stop.” The woman snapped her teeth closed with a click. “I’ll get her down.”

She didn’t look especially reassured. Shit. What would Kirishima do? Probably flash a smile and bang his fists together or some other cute-ass Kirishima-ism. Bakugou gave her a closed-mouth smile and a stiff pat on the shoulder instead. That’ll do.

Grasping a branch with one hand and placing the flat of his boot on the trunk, he hoisted himself into the tree. He climbed higher and higher, wary of the thinning branches. When he couldn’t fit on the remaining limbs, he lifted his arms out for the girl.

“C’mon, I’ll take you back to your mom.” His voice was soft, low, and practiced. The girl eyed him warily, but after catching a glimpse of her mom below, shuffled into Bakugou’s hold. “Good job. Just hold on to me like you did to the branch, okay?”

She nodded against his shoulder, and he began his climb back down.

“What’s your name?”

“Matatabi,” she mumbled.

“What were you doin’ that high up?”

“Wanted to catch it.”

He frowned, wondering what it was, but they had reached the bottom and he had reached his patience quota for the day. Especially when the girl threw a fit in his arms, hissing and wiggling, and pushing and scratching at him. “Oi!” He dropped her, and she scurried to her mom, leaving him with whiplash and three welts on his bicep.

“Oh. Oh, dear.” The mother looked like she was about to confess to murder. Great. “Did she scratch you?”

No shit. “Yes, but it’s completely understandable.”

“Ah, awe, thank you—” at least he got a smile out of that one “—but, um, there may be a bit of an issue?” Of course there is. “She seems to activate her quirk when she scratches or bites.” She grimaced, floundering for her next words.

He took a deep breath. It wasn’t the kid’s fault. “It’s fine. What should I expect with the effects?”

“Um. Cat?”

He blinked. “Cat?”

She nodded. “Cat.”

“Dynamight!”

They both looked up then to Red Riot’s jogging figure, dust and cement billowing behind his ass cape.

“Everything alri-oh.” Kirishima was staring somewhere above Bakugou’s forehead, his mouth formed in the perfect ‘O’ shape.

“What are you looking at?!”

“Ears.”

Bakugou’s stomach fell into his butt. “What?”

“Bro… ears. You have… ears.”

“No.”

“Dude they look so soft.” Slow hands lifted higher and higher, above Bakugou’s face up to the top of his head. “Can I just—”

Bakugou slapped his hands away. “Don’t you dare,” he hissed.

Kirishima chortled— chortled! — and turned to the mother of the tree climbing, cat nabbing daughter.

Bakugou watched the exchange with clenched fists.

“I’m so sorry!” She bowed low, almost tipping her kid onto the ground. “Is she in trouble?”

“No, no!” Kirishima smiled at them. They seeped into it like a warm blanket on a cold day. “We’ll just get your contact information in case we have any further questions about the quirk—”

A sharp pain stung both of Bakugou’s palms. He hissed and checked his hands, tuning out the rest of Kirishima’s mediation.

Claws. He had ears and claws.

Well, at least he had another weapon now — that was pretty cool, actually. As soon as the thought passed through his head, the claws retracted into his nail beds, leaving behind his normal, blunt nails.

He felt his ears droop to the side of his head.

“So… do you want to head back to the agency?”

He looked up at his partner, giving him his best baleful glare with the ears and all. Kirishima just snorted. “There’s no way in Hell I’m going back there like this.”

“Awe, but you could be our new office mascot.” He reached forward to pet Bakugou’s ear again. He was unsuccessful. “Alright, alright,” he laughed, pulling out his phone, “let’s call Mirko and get our next orders, then.” The ringer blasted loud and clear, Kirishima holding his phone in selfie-mode.

“You little shit! She doesn’t need to see!”

They played a game of impromptu tag until their boss picked up. She, of course, immediately burst into guffaws of laughter.

Bakugou was so ready for today to be over.

“Hey, boss! What, uh— What do you suggest we do here with uh, Cat...kugou?”

“I’ll kill you,” he whispered.

“Hell if I know, I’ve never needed flea prevention.” Bakugou balked. “Take him to the vet, I guess!”

“Yessir!” Kirishima hung up before Bakugou could even process the words that just came out of his boss’s mouth.

“I am not—” he huffed “—going—” huff “—to the fucking VET!”

🧡❤️💥⚙️💥❤️🧡

If All Might himself had told Bakugou that hero life would involve sitting on a metal exam table in a veterinarian’s office, he wouldn’t believe a word of it. Not because it was impossible. Just because Bakugou would never get himself into that kind of situation.

He craned his neck back, glaring at his reflection in the operating mirror hanging from the ceiling. Two ash blond ears twitched back at him.

He sighed, crossing his arms and adjusting his seat on the hard metal. If I grow a tail, I’m gonna scream.

After what felt like hours of waiting, twitching, and reading pamphlets about “What to do if you have a fat cat,” the vet finally strode through the door, Kirishima hot on her heels.

She turned, frowning. “Oh, I’m so sorry — I know you’re hero partners, but technically the exam room is family only."

Bakugou’s eyes flicked to Kirishima. His partner met his desperate glare head-on.

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zamoimagines · 4 years

Text

HOWARD HOUSE (Collaboration Project w/ @ladypaulsvn)

Episode 1: Pilot

Word Count: 3,631

Summary: Billie Dean Howard and Audrey Tindall both are very successful television stars. What people may not know is that these two actually live together... with seven other women. What happens when they make the decision to create a reality tv show about their home life? Find out and tune into Howard House, a brand new series about mayhem, love, and unconventionality.

A/N: hello everyone! this is the first collaborative project that I’ve ever been apart of! @ladypaulsvn and I had an idea in April that turned into an entire series. This is basically Keeping Up With the Kardashians but if it was all Sarah’s characters. We’re incredibly proud of this, and we’ve worked extremely hard on this first chapter. If you want more, let us know because we have quite a few plans for this series! We really hope you enjoy!

“Are we rolling?” Billie muttered as a crew member finished fixing up her hair.

“We’re rolling!”

Audrey shooed away her makeup artist before flashing a perfect smile.

The last of the crew members made their way off the screen as Billie made eye contact with the camera.

“I’m Billie Dean Howard,”

“And I’m Audrey Tindall!” the Brit sang out.

“You may know us from popular TV shows such as Devil’s Night and My Roanoke Nightmare.” Billie added in a warm tone.

“We thought it would be interesting to do a collaborative series that was a little different from the dark paranormal themes we’ve worked on in the past.”

“That’s right, Audrey. We wanted to give our fans something a little more lighthearted!”

“So when Billie suggested we do a reality show type series of our home life, I hopped right on board! Because quite frankly we do not have a normal home.”

Billie laughed light heartedly at her comment. “That is extremely correct. We thought we would give insight into who we are outside of our respective careers and include the amazing eclectic group of women we share our home with.”

“We hope you join us in this premiere episode of Howard House.”

“Cut!”

The screen fades to black. The show starts with a simple shot of the Howard House. Inside, Billie Dean Howard is holding the very first personal interview.

“So, just introduce yourself for the audience, yeah?”

“Right, right.” Billie sat down on the couch in front of the cameras.

“As many of you may know, I’m Billie Dean Howard. I’m a psychic medium, and I’ve been working with the dead for decades now. Never expected to make a career out of it. Let alone a whole show!” She laughs off her comment with the members of the crew.

“All jokes aside, I’m incredibly thankful for my career. If it wasn’t for the screen, I wouldn’t have met all the girls… I’ll always be grateful for that. Audrey came to me with the idea for this show, and I have to admit, I was a little nervous. They’ve all become like a family to me. A very complicated family to say the least. The others liked the idea so much despite my fears, so I finally decided it was a good idea.”

Billie cracked a smile at the thought.

“If it wasn’t for Audrey, the show wouldn’t have even aired.”

The camera cuts to a new shot of Audrey Tindall explaining her side of the story.

“Oh, yeah! It was my idea and everything. Billie’s nice like that. She’ll go along with most things as long as it doesn’t ruin her image. I was genuinely surprised she said yes to this by those standards!” Audrey light heartedly laughed, glancing over the camera to see Billie rolling her eyes.

“I can always make everyone go home, you know. Shows over!” Billie’s voice can be heard off screen.

“Oh, shut up Billie.” Audrey waves her away.

The interview continued on as normal. There were a few quick banters exchanged between Audrey and Billie, who stayed off screen. Eventually, Billie left the room to leave Audrey to talk about what the rest of the show would be like.

“Basically, It’s going to show our everyday lives here with all the girls. How we live. Who we really are.” Audrey was always one for the dramatics.

“This ‘Pilot’ episode, if you will, is just an introduction. A little taste of what’s to come!” Her hands added flare to her words.

As Audrey continued explaining the simple mechanics of the show, Ally slipped in through the front door. She gave the actress a small wave.

Audrey’s eyes immediately lit up as she called her girlfriend over. “Sweetheart, hello! Come here!” She quickly stood from her chair and grabbed Ally’s hand, guiding her in front of the camera.

“This is my girlfriend, Ally! Isn’t she simply darling?” Audrey smiled widely as she sat Ally on her lap. Ally wasn’t too keen on being on camera yet.

“Oh yeah, hi! I forgot this was today.” Ally swiped her hair behind her ear, not knowing what to say.

Audrey nearly squealed at seeing her girlfriend so shy.

“You are just bloody adorable.” She gazed back up at the camera as Ally’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red.

“She’s a bit timid about being filmed. I’m used to a crew following me everywhere, but Ally isn’t quite adjusted to it yet.”

The next shot is Ally sitting in the spot Audrey was in, now all alone. She has an awkward expression on her face as if she’s not sure what to talk about.

“Just tell us a little bit about yourself. You’re a politician, right?”

Ally nodded slightly to the camera man.

“I am. Before I got into politics, I owned a restaurant. Still do. I’ve just been really focused on my campaign.”

“And how long have you been with Audrey?”

“U-uh, about two years now.”

“How’d you guys meet?”

“Well, as I said before, I own a restaurant downtown and at that point I was on my own with Oz, my son. I had just divorced my ex wife. I’d been putting all my time into my work. That’s when famous actress Audrey Tindall came into my life. She’d never been in the restaurant before. She was instantly a flirty little thing. When she left, I found her number scrawled on her receipt and well… the rest is history.” Ally’s smile was giant as she explained the story, reminiscing on the past years of her life she had spent falling for the Brit.

“How did you end up here in the house with the rest of the girls?”

“I won’t get too personal, but after a few months of seeing Audrey and how well she got along with Oz, I started making frequent trips to this humble abode. I admit that it was quite a shock meeting everyone for the first time. Though they all took so kindly to Oz and I. We spent more nights here than at our apartment, so Billie invited us to permanently move in. I obviously couldn’t deny her offer. We’ve been here for the last two years.” Ally honestly loved telling this story.

“These lovely ladies couldn’t have come at a better time in my life. I’m so thankful to have them, especially Audrey. They’re all truly one of a kind. I’m so lucky to have such good role models for Oz and people who genuinely care for him. He loves it here, even with the constant bickering.” Ally laughed as she made fun of the banter that constantly rang through the house.

As Ally answered more questions about life in the house and her professions, a snarky blonde with frizzy hair was waiting very impatiently in the other room.

“Do you guys want to see a picture of Oz? I have a couple on my phone-“ Ally began.

“Oh come ON” an annoyed voice rang out.

As Ally began to pull out her cell, the blonde barged into the room. She was definitely not as put together as the others. The woman had a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and was wearing a tattered old dress. Her makeup was completely smudged. She didn’t seem camera ready, but she was definitely acting like she was.

“Ally, seriously, you’ve taken way too long.” She growled. In an instant, she pushed Ally off of her seat. The politician fell onto the floor offscreen with a thud while this new woman crossed her legs.

“Sal, what the hell?!” Ally shouted.

Sally glanced down at her as she took her cigarette between her fingers.

“You were hogging the f%*#$ing camera.”

“So that gives you a right to just physically assault people?”

As Ally stood up, there was a long silence between the two women. The camera was focused on Sally, who looked obviously remorseful for acting on a whim. Her free hand reached out to hold Ally’s.

“Look, I’m sorry. I was anxious.”

Ally remained silent.

“It won’t happen again… I promise. I’m really sorry.”

“Well, you should be.”

“I’ll make it up to you. We’ll go for ice cream later, okay?”

Another silence.

“Okay.” Ally muttered.

“Okay.” Sally replied as the brunette exited the room. She leaned back in her seat and turned her ear toward the door.

“I love you, Ally!” she called out.

There was no answer. Sally shrugged.

“She’ll be fine.” She began, “I’ve done worse.”

“Uh… Okay. You wanna go ahead and introduce yourself?”

A huge grin appeared on Sally’s face.

“I thought you’d never ask!” She exclaimed as she took a drag of her cancer stick.

“The name’s Sally. Sally McKenna. I’m unemployed, BUT I happen to be a social media influencer,” She winked to the camera. “Follow me on instagram, sallythatgirl.”

“You’re a social media influencer, and you only have instagram?”

“Oh god no! I’ve got twitter, youtube, instagram, facebook, you name it! And I just started a tik tok account.” She had a proud look on her face.

“No, but I used to be a musician in the 90’s. That was a bust. Turned to drugs, that was also a bust. I lived in a shit hole for a loooong time. Until Cordelia came along.” She smirked to herself, “Don’t tell her I said this, but… Cordelia saved me. She came by my place looking for one of her friends and we happened to get into conversation. I told her not to pity me. She has such a kind heart that the bitch took me home with her the same day. I’ve been here ever since.”

Sally ashes her cigarette in one of the crew member’s coffee cups nearby.

“Anyway, enough with the sappy shit. I’m really excited to start this show. I have a really good feeling that I’m gonna be a fan favorite.”

“I-I wasn’t finished with that cup of coffee-”

“Sure you were, John! It was empty.” Sally replied. When she glanced back into the cup, she pursed her lips.

“.... My bad. I’ll… Here, I’ll have someone get you some more- DELIA!” She stood up and left the room to go find the Supreme.

“I F&%ED UP, I NEED YOUR HELP!”

After Sally left, a new shot panned on Cordelia Goode. She was already sitting down and completely poised. She handed John a new cup of coffee.

“Sorry about Sally. She can be a bit of a handful.”

“It’s alright. Thank you for making this.”

“It’s no trouble at all.” Cordelia replied with a warm smile.

“So, you were the first one to move in with Billie?”

“Yes, I was. A few years back, she did an episode for her show at Robichaux’s Academy where I taught. At the time, the place was extremely overcrowded. I obviously had too much on my plate. My confidant, Zoe, had been pushing me to go out and find my own place. I had to live somewhere that wasn’t surrounded by screaming girls. When Billie was done filming, we ended up becoming good friends. I was stressed and ended up telling her about Zoe’s idea. She invited me to move in with her, and so I decided to take the chance. Zoe was proud of me and I became a better Supreme because of my decision.”

“What’s it like living here but still fulfilling your responsibilities as Supreme?”

“At first it was challenging to get used to. I hated being away from my girls, but wanted to give myself the chance to adjust. After a few months, I quite enjoyed having my own space and traveling between the two. Billie was really accepting of my responsibilities as Supreme. She never complained of my late hours. Around that time she was usually away filming, so we didn’t see much of each other anyway. It’s a little different now that we have more people living here. I still enjoy it all the same with our little family we’ve created.”

“What’s your schedule like nowadays?”

“Oh, pretty similar! I’ll go back and forth to the Academy to check on my girls and occasionally teach classes when Zoe or Mallory is sick.”

“What about life here?”

“That’s never the same. It’s a constant changing schedule here. Sometimes Billie or Audrey are out filming god knows where. Or Ally has campaigning to do so we help watch Oz. Lana’s always out chasing some new story whenever she gets the chance... Bette and Dot stay home usually. The same with Wilhemina ever since she started working from home; she likes structure and order. Sally is the complete opposite. She stays at home more often than not but is always trying to stir up trouble, just for the hell of it. We all have different schedules but we help each other out when we can. We really are a family.”

“That’s beautiful. Speaking of Ms. Winters, do you know if she’s available for an interview?”

Cordelia chuckled to yourself. “If you can catch her, you can most definitely talk to her.”

Lana is next at the camera. She looks completely composed; she was meant for the camera.

“Miss Winters, thank you for talking with us on such a short notice.”

“Anything for television.” the brunette replied with a smirk.

“What has life been like since the attack?”

There was a sort of tenseness to her position.

“Jumping right in with Bloody Face… I’m fairing fine. He got what he deserved and I’m safe now. Not to mention, my career has been soaring and I’ve finally surrounded myself with a group of people that really care about my well being. Things are so lighthearted around here. I didn’t know I needed to be here, but I can see why Cordelia invited me to stay.”

“You’re a very brave woman, Miss Winters.”

“Thank you, John. I’m more than ready to move on from that situation though.”

“Of course. My bad… So, you worked with Billie on the Briarcliffe series, correct?”

“Yes! That’s where it all began actually.” She had the proudest look on her face. “The Briarcliffe series was one of the best moments of my career. Billie wanted to help me expose all of the awful things that happened there, and we charged in there demanding the truth.”

“And it’s true that Briarcliffe was shut down shortly after the series aired?”

“Correct. Billie and I single handedly took down the most horrific place in America. I’m so grateful for her collaboration. I’m not sure I could have done it without her.”

Lana crossed her legs gracefully, holding her right knee with clasped hands.

“After that, I knew I was safe. It was still incredibly hard to go home alone. Post traumatic stress disorder can do a number on a person” She bit her lower lip, “I spent so many sleepless nights paranoid and utterly terrified of nothing. It grew harder and harder to be by myself, and it was very obvious to everyone that I worked with, including Billie. That’s when she told me to come stay at her commune.”

“Commune?”

“Well, that’s what this place isn’t it?” Lana replied with a laugh. “I was skeptical at first. Living with eight strangers I’ve never met in my life sounded like an absolute nightmare. Though, Billie promised me it would be worth my while. I stayed one night and fell in love with everyone that lives here. It was so nice to not have to be alone, and this house has really made me feel significantly better as far as safety goes. You’re never alone around here, but I don’t mind that. In fact, it makes me feel extremely comfortable.”

“Are you close with any of the girls in particular? Some of the others were discussing how you often can be found with Cordelia Goode when you are home.”

The reporter’s cheeks turned a bright shade of pink.

“I-I mean- Yes, Cordelia and I are great friends. Though, I’ve taken all of them under my wing. Sally’s chaotic, though she’s really just a child deep down that’s craving some sort of attention. Audrey and Ally are both sweethearts. Cordelia is… absolutely wonderful.” Her cheeks grew even brighter in color. “I do have a particular attachment to Bette and Dot, though.”

“Is that because you saved them from Briarcliffe?”

“Indeed, it is. Aren’t you good at researching for an interview? I'm thoroughly impressed, John.”

“Thank you, Miss Winters. Would you care to tell us how you came to the Tattler’s rescue?”

“Perhaps I should let them tell that story.”

Conjoined twins are sitting in front of the camera, rather nervous. One is greeting everyone with a big grin and the other looks suspicious of her surroundings.

“I promise you that we aren’t going to harm you. We’ve heard many wonderful things about the two of you.”

“Oh I know that! Dot just doesn’t trust anyone.” Bette giggled at the camera man. Dot silently glared at her sister then turned back to the camera.

“That’s not true. I’m just far more cautious than my sister.” Dot explained.

“Guarded, maybe.” Bette said under her breath, her smile faltering momentarily.

“Okay… Well how about some questions? Would you be okay with that?”

Both girls nodded.

“I’ve asked nearly everyone this same question. How did you girls arrive here at the house?”

“Oh… well, it was Lana really.” Dot started. “She did a documentary about Briarcliff and we watched it.” Bette began to add. “Our parents were going to send us there… and after seeing the documentary we confronted them about their intentions.” Bette looked to the floor.

“They kicked us out, essentially.” Dot stated with a cross face. “Instead of wallowing in our tears, we packed up and left for LA to find Lana and thank her for keeping us from the awful fate we could’ve had at Briarcliff.” Dot explained.

Bette looked up again at this point. “Oh yes! I want to tell this next part. It wasn’t very hard to find her; we ran into her on the streets of LA! It was magical really. We thanked her and instead of just going about her business, she stayed and asked us questions about what happened and why we were there instead of back home in Florida. After a wonderful conversation with her, we said our goodbyes and went to leave. But she stopped us! We were confused at first. Then she offered us a place to stay since we were on our own. Dot declined, as she doesn’t trust people, but I accepted and convinced Dot to agree as well.” Bette happily told their tale.

“It’s true I was apprehensive, but I’m glad we’re here now. Maybe listening to Bette is a good idea… sometimes.” Dot added and Bette smiled satisfactorily.

“What a moving story ladies. You’re obviously both very different personalities. How do you get on with the rest of the women in the house?”

“We mostly stay to ourselves, really.” Bette answered and Dot nodded.

“Though I enjoy a conversation or two with Wilhemina.” Dot said bashfully.

“Oh they’re awfully annoying sometimes. Always gossiping about the others. I think you forget that I can hear your thoughts Dot.” Bette laughed as she looked at her sister.

Dot consequently glared in her direction. “Shut up.”

“Um, Ow!”

“What did I say before all of this? Don’t say stuff like that Bette!”

“Oh it’s not my fault you’re so reserved. It’s an interview for goodness sake Dot! They ask questions!”

The girls were interrupted by the man behind the camera. “Okay ladies… How about we continue this another time?”

“Sounds wonderful, thank you John!” Bette stated and Dot agreed. “I’d rather not do this ever again.” The girls quickly left the room, still bickering to one another. The camera panned to a redheaded woman dressed in purple from head to toe. Her posture was rather rigid and she was gripping a wooden cane. From outside, the crew could hear Bette and Dot trying to talk to her.

“Mina, it’s your turn!” Bette sung out sweetly.

“Bette, darling, I’m reading.” the woman, Mina, muttered in a disinterested tone.

“But it’s for the tv show! You told Billie you’d do an interview, remember?”

Mina glanced up from her book with her brow cocked.

“What tv show?” she asked.

Bette pointed in the direction of the camera crew and waved to them when she saw that they were still recording. Mina looked in that direction before rolling her eyes.

“I thought Billie said I wouldn’t have to talk?”

“That’s what she told me too-” Dot began.

“Well of course you have to talk, silly! It ain’t every day that you get to be on television!” Bette giggled, “Go on!”

“Bette, I’d rather not.”

“Wilhelmina Venable, you will stop acting like such an introvert and you will go do your interview just like everyone else has done!”

There was a long pause of silence as Mina made eye contact with Dot.

“D… Did you do one?” she asked quietly.

“Unfortunately.” Dot replied.

Wilhelmina groaned before standing up. Leaning upon the cane, she slowly sauntered over to the doorway to the room where the interviews were being held. She looked directly into the camera.

“I’m not going to bother even stepping into the room. All you need to know is that my name is Wilhelmina Venable and I live here. Good day.”

She walked in the opposite direction as Bette and Dot followed her down the hallway.

“Mina that was NOT an interview!” Bette called out.

“Yes it was!” Wilhelmina shouted back.

The camera crew all gazed at each other. A few members shrugged as others began to start cleaning up their equipment.

“I think that’s a wrap on the pilot!”

#howard house #collab fic #we hope you guys like it! let us know what you think #billie dean howard #audrey tindall #ally mayfair richards #sally mckenna #cordelia goode #lana winters #bette and dot tattler #bette tattler #dot tattler #wilhemina venable #ahs #american horror story #ahs imagine #ahs fic #american horror story imagine #american horror story fic

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nooneelsecomesclose17 · 4 years

Text

You are the absolute best idea I ever had - Part 2

I promise Aaron is going to show up soon. He��s just being uncooperative right now.

*******

It’s a damn cliche and he hates them, but it’s like something out of a fairytale and he’s only in the entrance hall. Are they called entrance halls in palaces? He really thinks the least his Dad could’ve done if he insisted on him being here was give him a cheat sheet about these things. He’s not even here to ask. He’s already working the room, shaking hands and making contacts. Robert doesn’t even know what this whole shebang is for, for goodness sakes. It’s not like he hasn’t been to an event like this before, but that’s always been a fundraising thing, or a couple of small gatherings once his Dad was elected and they were playing the happy family card. This though, this is a whole other level. One foot wrong and it could be treasonous.

“And this is my son Robert.” He swallows as his Dad approaches with an unfamiliar face but it’s absolutely the type of person he knows will be useful. His father doesn’t bother with anyone who isn’t. So he smiles, shakes hands, and hopes someone will offer him a drink and soon.

*******

It’s all over in a flash. One minute he’s chatting away about the impending black hole in the country’s finances having finally found someone having an interesting conversation, and the next he’s flying towards the ground.

Ok, so maybe he made a comment about the amount of money being spent in the very room and maybe Prince Aaron had overheard and confronted him before roughly pushing past him. It wasn’t his fault that he’d grabbed the nearest thing to hand to stop himself falling. How was he to know that a simple grab of the arm would mean a punch in the face from an heir to the throne.

All he can see as he gets to his feet, bits of ridiculously expensive canapé all over his best suit is his Dad’s face, redder than he’s ever seen it. He doesn’t even look over at Prince Aaron but he can sense a flurry of activity around him, whereas he’s just stranded.

“I…I’m so sorry.” He daren’t look round, just edges his way out of the room hoping it’s in the direction of the way out, of safety. He knows his Dad is following and hell why does he feel like a kid again.

“I’ve never been so embarrassed Robert. Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

“It’s not like I assassinated the Queen with a blini, Dad. It was a tray of salmon things. I was the one being punched you know! I’m fine by the way.” He touched his jaw gingerly, hissing as pain blossomed.

“And what did you say to him to make him punch you?” He opens his mouth to answer. “Oh just be quiet Robert. When we get home I don’t want to see you until tomorrow morning. In my office, with Nicola and we’ll see just how much of a mess you’ve made.”

He escapes before the car has even pulled up at the entrance at the back of Downing Street, pushing past the protection officer and storming upstairs to his room only to let out a groan when he sees his sister has made herself nicely at home in his armchair. He does smile when he spies the bar of his favourite chocolate on the table and a beer waiting to be opened.

“So you had a fun night.” She hugs him and just for a second he could imagine it was his Mum, ready to make his day all better. “Is Dad angry?”

“You mean you didn’t hear the explosion all the way over here?” He shakes his head as she sheds his jacket and throws his tie on the bed. “Wasn’t even my fault.”

“Really? That’s not what it says on Twitter."

“I…I just…look it is obscene that they’re spending that much money on food and diamonds and who knows what else. I only said what a good chunk of the country thinks.”

“Yeah but they don’t say it to the second in line to the throne.”

“I didn’t know he was there! Can I at least get a little sympathy for the fact that he might’ve broken my jaw?”

“Rob, I don’t think we’d be having this conversation if he’d broken your jaw. You’re so dramatic sometimes. I’ll get you some frozen peas.”

“Bring the ice cream too.” He calls after her. “The good stuff.”

“You’re going to give yourself diabetes or something.”

“Right now I could care less.” He wanted to wallow, he thinks he deserves that much. He wasn’t the one who threw a punch and ruined the evening. All he’d done was grab his arm, and that was what he got for his trouble. The beloved Prince clearly had anger management issues and he wasn’t taking the blame for that.

*******

All in all he’d enjoyed the rest of the evening. He and Vic had settled into the oversized armchair, somehow managing to fit even if he was half perched on the arm, with the ice cream and more than a couple of beers, watching trashy movies until he literally couldn’t keep his eyes open, all thoughts of what lay ahead forgotten.

He’s suffering now, his jaw aches, his head is banging and his eyes are full of grit thanks to the early morning call to wake him up. He likes Nicola, his father’s head of communications. She’s fun and she takes as well as she gives, but he’s never been on the wrong side of her until now. Any inkling of friendship they may have formed on those few times he’d campaigned for his father was likely gone. It was even odds that she’d have him hung drawn and quartered in the rose garden if she thought she could get away with it.

“You just can’t go more than 24 hours without giving me a headache can you? Do you think I’m in need of work or something? As if I don’t have enough to do with the Cabinet!” She sweeps into the sitting room, arms full of the day’s papers, slamming them onto the table making him groan. “Serves you right. What on earth did you think you were doing?”

“Would you even believe anything I said? Have you got any paracetamol in that bag of yours?”

“No. You can sit there and suffer just like I am at having to sort out your mess. You’re an idiot.”

“It’s been said.”

“I’ve spoken with your father, and the palace who are just as keen as us to do some kind of damage control.” He winces as she paces around the room. He should’ve just stayed in bed, that would’ve been a very good idea.

“I would’ve thought it’d be easy for them. Blame it all on me, it’s not like I’m already in the country’s bad books.”

“Oh do stop feeling sorry for yourself Robert. It’s not an attractive look on you.”

“Aw I didn’t know you cared.” He sits forward, trying to catch sight of the notes she’s making. “So go on, or are we waiting for the old man.”

“He left you in my capable hands. More important things to do apparently.” She actually looks sympathetic so he can only imagine what his Dad had actually said.

“Right. What do I have to do?”

“You’re going to be Prince Aaron’s new best friend. Well, when I say new, I mean we’re going to tell the press that you’ve been friends for a while and that what they saw last night was an accident after a friendly squabble over the football.”

“You’re joking, right? Why have I got to play nice with him. He punched me!”

“After you have insulted his family. I always thought you were bright but I’m reevaluating my opinion.”

“I only said what half the country thinks.”

“That’s as maybe, but they don’t do it in the sovereign’s house. I don’t care what you think of them, no one does, they only care what it looks like. Your father can’t be seen to think like that because the majority of the country don’t.”

“I’m not my father!”

“It’s all the same thing in politics.” Finally she sits down and pushes the stack of newspapers to him. He swallows heavily as he looks at the top one, pictures of the punch, of him sprawled on the floor clutching his jaw. “So we’re going to do this, and you’re going to play nice with him or so help me God Robert I’ll stick you on a plane to the most inhospitable part of this planet with a one way ticket.”

He nods, anything for some peace and an easy life, and she relaxes. It looks like he has a new best friend then.

#robron fic #no idea when the next part will be done #my family are conspiring against me getting time or peace to write #but i'll do my best for next weekend at the latest

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himiko-yumehellno · 4 years

Text

Beta AU fan quotes part twelve:

Kiibo: People who sleep with their phone on silent or DND really don't give a fuck about anybody.

Miu: Look, if you decide to have a problem after midnight, that's between you and God.

Ryoma:

Ryoma: How do you set your phone to Dungeons and Dragons?

Source: twitter

—

Gonta: When I die, I want to be buried, but not in a casket. I want my dead body to nourish the soil and at least be useful in my death.

Tsumugi: Be useful in your life first.

Gonta: That ship has sailed.

Source: twitter

—

Kiibo: You keep hugging Kokichi whenever he's upset. Next thing you know, he's going to fall in love with you. Is that what you want?

Himiko, scoffing: Is that what I want. YES!

Source: unknown

—

"Due to enormous personal flaws I refuse to work on, I will be arriving 100 years late with iced coffee. Please respect that."

- Maki Harukawa

Source: twitter

—

Tsumugi: I just wish you'd admit when you've made a mistake.

Rantaro, stirring his coffee: Back off, I like it with salt.

Source: tumblr

—

Meanwhile, in the Undertale AU:

Angie: Hey, can you pass me the enslaved potassium?

Kokichi: ... What?

Kaito: She wants a banana.

Kokichi: Uh... How... How did you...?

Kaito: I spend a lot of time with her.

Source: tiktok

—

Teacher: Are you... Eating microwave pancakes... In an afternoon class?

Shuichi: Don't question my life choices.

Source: me

—

Kaede: I wish you could block people in real life.

Kiyo: Restraining order.

Kirumi: Murder.

Source: twitter

—

Miu: Damn, the power went out.

Angie: Don’t worry, I've got this!

Angie: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*

Shuichi: What–?

Angie: I swallowed a glow stick!

Rantaro, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU–

Source: unknown

—

Kokichi: So, Kaede kissed you... and you said "thank you?"

Maki, lying face down on the floor: Yes

Kokichi: ... Well, that was very polite of you.

Source: unknown

—

Rantaro: Ryoma, in your educated opinion, how will I die?

Ryoma: Murder by an angry god. We never find the body.

Rantaro, nodding: That’s a shame.

Kaito: What about me?

Ryoma: You crave toast while taking a bath.

Kaito, under his breath: I do love bath snacks.

Source: psych

—

Tenko, exhausted: *opens up a cereal box*

Tenko: *grabs a bowl*

Tenko: *opens up milk*

Tenko: *pours milk onto her hand*

Gonta:

Tenko: No, no give me a sec. I know something is wrong. Just give me a sec, I’ll figure it out.

Source: tumblr

—

Gonta: Anyone else angry and gay tonight?

Ryoma: I'm pissed and bisexual.

Tsumugi: I'm tired and gay, is that close enough?

Kiibo: I'm scheming and pansexual, but that might be a bit too far off.

Maki, staring at Kaede: I'm a lesbian.

Source: unknown

—

Rantaro: I had a bad childhood.

Kiyo: Yeah, I know.

Rantaro: Wait – what do you mean, you KNOW?

Kiyo: Look at you. Look at how you stand! People with good childhoods don’t stand like that!

Source: bob's burgers

—

*Playing Minecraft*

Himiko: Kokichi, where are you?

Kokichi, stuck in a two-block deep hole in a cave sobbing: I don’t fucking know.

Source: twitter

—

Kaede: My girlfriend just FaceTimed me drunk as hell eating a slice of pizza while walking down the street and she goes "YOU WANNA KNOW HOW PERFECT YOU ARE? LOOK AT THIS PIZZA...FOR YOU, I'LL DROP THIS PIZZA. IT'S GONE!" and threw the damn pizza in the street.

Kaede: I love her so much.

Source: twitter

—

@kagazuly

#drv3 #full drv3 cast #i think this is all of them at least #betas #beta au #incorrect quotes #nicky makes a quotey #oumeno #beta au iq

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lifesux4mostofus · 3 years

Text

I no longer care.

But that’s a lie. 24 hours unable to end a nightmare that kept getting worse and then 3 hours of restless sleep before my body finally let me rest. For a split second it was a foggy weird dream. That pit in my stomach wasn’t there not til the next second. When everything came rushing back.

Hitting me w so much force that my body started involuntarily shaking bc suddenly my skin was cold to the touch of a fur blanket. Suddenly my mouth was dryer and my thoughts start moving faster remembering everything I was at the bliss of almost pretending didn’t happen.

Trying to remember what I felt like before the one person in this world betrayed me and himself by acting on something he knew was wrong. You knew it was wrong and did it anyway.

Being so suffocated by your own thoughts and so cold bc suddenly all warmth is gone. And hell I have a cat fast asleep in peace on my lap. But I can’t even feel his warmth. I can’t even move much more than my two thumbs.

I have to go to work today. I have to pretend I’m okay today. And the next day. And the next day. And then I have to be stuck with you for nearly 9 days of vacation that a small part of me is SCREAMing at me to just tell my boss I’ve changed my mind. I want the work. I want to get away from you. I want to force myself past the part of my mind that is suddenly so hellbent on destroying another piece of my soul.

Depression is bad but that lasts a few days and then I feel like I was being dramatic and move on. This is. This is something I don’t know what to do with. Idk if there is a moving on. I hit walls of anger. Betrayal. Self loathing. Disappointment. And then just numb like maybe if I just wallow in my self pity of the irony of my life it’ll all stop. Or maybe I like this darkness bc I am grasping to hold onto it. Something. Anything. Any kind of comfort to close a wound of betrayal I didn’t know was ever going to open again.

And now it’s flowing and it won’t stop. Like a busted pipe. It won’t stop. I can’t turn it off. I wish I could turn it off. But rn I’m just stuck in reruns of everything inside my own head. No desire to eat. No desire to want to do anything aside from crawl back in the dark hole that for a few hours of rest I was able to escape to and pretend I’m over it and moving on bc I don’t remember what I need to be over or moving on from.

I asked to know. But what’s worse is you still tried to hide it after trying to be honest. I should’ve listened to my gut. I had that feeling. That feeling that something was wrong but you couldn’t put your finger on it. I told myself I was being dramatic and crazy two weeks ago for having that feeling. Turns out a part of me knew before you were willing to tell me. Maybe you never would have if I hadn’t pressed the issue. There’s a beauty in bliss. But I prefer to chaos of knowing. It’s a reminder that this. This is why I don’t let people in.

2.5 years of a relationship suppose to lead to forever. Leaving me feeling like it didn’t exist. All of the good times gone. You can blame me for drinking. But you can’t blame me for trying to enjoy my life and then the destruction coming towards you. You set things in motion that neither of us could begin to comprehend with choices I wasn’t aware you were making. I actually thought it was solely me that was the problem. You have a way of convincing others that your chaos if worse than theirs so if you feel it you’re a martyr. How pathetic. It doesn’t erase how I handled things. You were so bothered I was acting like your ex you chose to become worse than mine. Unfaithful. A cheater. Worse bc maybe not even physically but mentally. You stroked yourself to a woman I asked you not to speak to two years ago. I still have her and her exes harassment messages.

I don’t know what I’m suppose to do with this. My thoughts all seem chaotic and clustered that I’m not even sure if anything makes sense that I’m writing. It’s funny that I’m writing this knowing your at the edge of your seat waiting for me to write it. Like you deserve some kind of explanation of what’s going through my head. You don’t. The second you let other women into your thoughts is the second you didn’t deserve mine. But I’ll give it to you freely. Bc maybe you��ll feel something from reading this. I don’t know if you can fix this and I want to hate you for doing this knowing what it would break in me. I can’t just heal over and since I’m not drunk anymore and capable of yelling my betrayal at you pretend that now I’m sober and I was being too dramatic.

Hilarious that you’re such a whore that other woman and men have always been there. The whole time in your head. It was never just about me. You always wanted more and deep down maybe I knew that. But do you feel it? That sense of if I lose her I’ll never fix this hole? That it cuts so deep to the bone that you don’t know how to breathe? Or is that just me? Maybe you don’t feel anything at all bc you have been so hellbent on thinking w your dick and betraying me maybe you’re just in love w the idea of me. A part of me wonders. If only he’d actually touched someone. Maybe I’d have the strength then and things wouldn’t be so grey bc it’s not just black and white for me to stay or leave. 60$ and rumple you use to say to demean my choice in something. Funny that now it’s 60$ and then some to destroy nearly three years of a relationship. Even tho you’ve called me wife since day one. If this is your marriage choices? I don’t want it. You think I’m in love w the idea of you so much and that I only wanted a kid. And instead of loving me, you destroyed that love and all that’s left is my kid. That looks just like you, poor girl. She is the only good thing. Would you want this for her? If a man she loved did this to her and she felt like this.. would that be okay with you?

Lucky her. That this isn’t about her. I hope to shield her from hurt like this. I hope to give her and grow the strength so if this happens to her she leaves. She respects herself enough to leave a man like you doing this to her. Next time you jerk off to another woman remember that. Remember that you wouldn’t want this for her. You wouldn’t want the love of her life doing this to her knowing how betrayed and disgusting it’ll make her feel. I hope it kills your boner every time.

On that note I don’t have much left to say. You disappointed me. And I don’t know what to do with that. I can no longer decide between what’s best for her or best for me. I can no longer think much more than today and just dragging my feet to the next few. I don’t have it in me to make a choice to leave you or make the choice to stay. Idk how long I need to heal. Or if I can. Idk if I’ll ever trust you again bc your loyalty is no longer loyal. At this point I was going to say you might want to change your bio on Twitter. “Loyal as a dog”. You keep trying to say “it’s not like that”. It is like that. You look at your dick. You look at a photo and you pretend you aren’t disgustingly beating off like a creep you pretend that girl is on your dick. I know how it works. I was 15 once too. Before I decided the real thing was better than a paid for photo or even a free one. You keep making excuses for you. Poor joe. Poor poor joe and his horny thoughts he can’t control. Fuck. You. You are not the victim here.

Dogs are better than you. Dogs take time to heal before moving on from a dead owner. Some will even let themselves die.

Good people don’t stick around to play house while rubbing their dick to whores you pay for or even free ones when their girlfriends in bed waiting for them. Good people don’t destroy their families for a nut.

I am tired. So please just let me be. I don’t feel sorry for you. You did this to yourself. You did this to us.

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jimimn · 4 years

Note

HI ITS ME WHO'S NOT OVER JJK BLONDE SELFIE AND WILL NEVER BE -💫

HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <33333333

HONESTLY ITS THE WAY YOH SAY SUCH NICE THINGS AND I DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS ON END BECAUSE INCONSISTENCY BLEEDS INTO EVERY CORNER OF MY LIFE FNEKALKD BUT I'M GETTING DONE WITH MY FIRST LEG OF EXAMS ON MONDAY SO YAY TO THAT!! OKAY I THINK WE'LL MOVE SLOWLY WITH BABY STEPS JUNGKOOK DROPPED SOME SELCAS JIMIN DROPPED SOME SELCAS IN THE WORDS OF THE LEGENDARY JEON JUNGKOOK ALL WE NEED NOW IS "together..BAM!" (THAT'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS EVER THE WAY HE SAYS IT 🤧)

YES IN THIS HOUSE WE SCREAM OVER JIMIN'S DISRESPECT HE IS THE PARAGON OF A MULTI-FACETED MAN THAT HAS US WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER. THE AUDACITY 😤

CHANEL X JIMIN LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN AND OMG THAT SELFIE THAT DROPPED?? SIR???? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?? I MEAN YES BH SAID LET'S DROP SELFIES IN BULK BUT THAT ONE PICTURE OF HIM IN BLACK(GREY? I DONT KNOW FHSKKAJF) WITH THE SHIRTS UNBUTTONED!!! THEM COLLARBONES ARE FREE AND THEY'RE THRIVING IN THE OPEN IN THAT ONE. ALSO HIS LIPS ARE SO PRETTY. OH GOD LITERALLY HE HAS THAT COCKY SMIRK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE KNOWS HE DOES HOT BOY SHIT LIKE SHUT UP OK YOU CANT DO THAT JAIL FOR U NDNSLSKAJJW

SUCH A FUCKING TEASE THATS RIGHT!! EVEN STRAIGHT MEN?? BRO LIKE HOW DO YOU HAVE ALL GENDERS JUST TRIPPING OVER THEMSELVES FOR YOU IT'S INSANE AND OMG MISS SHIVI HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ONE CLIP IN WHICH JIMIN HOLDS HIS GAZE WITH THESE MEN WHO LOOK AT HIM (i think it was bon voyage?) and when they cross each other he JUST SMIRKS AND RUNS HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR LIKE YEAH OK ALEXA PLAY I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT. AND YES I'LL LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY ANYTIME 💗💗

12PM KST IS THE HOLY HOUR I TELL YOU ALTHOUGH I REMEMBER WAITING THE NIGHT BEFORE BE CAME OUT WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO COME AND BH WAS JUST LIKE "yea...no" OMG THAT'S AWESOME YOUR COUSIN'S VISITING YOU

HHFJDOSO YEAH IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY DID THE JUMP ALTHOUGHHHH I'M POSITIVE THEY'LL DO SMTH COOL LIKE THAT IN THEIR CONCERTS BECAUSE THEIR PERFORMANCE QUALITY IS JUST.. THROUGH THE ROOF IT'S CRAZY!! WHEN THE PERFORM WINGS?? LIKE HOLY SHIT NO CHOREO NO POSITIONS JUST BTS RUNNING AROUND THE STAGE MAKING THE CROWD GO FERAL I LOVE EVERY WINGS PERFORMANCE SO MUCH MY SEROTONIN LEVELS ARE ALWAYS AT A HIGH THEN. OOHH MY GODDD BS&T IS REALLY THAT BITCH!!!! WHO'S DOING IT LIKE HER TODAY NO ONE IS EXACTLY. AND NOOOO I TOTALLY GET IT WE THINK ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH THAT ACCIDENT HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON ME. IF ONLY YOU'D TOLD ME THEN IN 2016 THAT THAT ACCIDENT WAS THE START OF SO MANY I'D BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWED (see: him basically stripping himself that one serendipity performance. holy shit.)

FOR REAL THO CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND DO YOU REMEMBER JIMIN SAYINF uUH iM nOt wORkInG oN a SoLo SoNg aT ThE mOmEnT heHe LIKE ALL MEN DO IS LIE OK AT THIS POINT. BYE. YES TAEHYUNG DID WARN US BUT ARMYS (LIKE MYSELF) PUT THEIR CLOWN WIGS ON AND THOUGHT IT WAS KTH1 LMAO. OMG I HOPE YOU DON'T SLEEP THROUGH ANY OF THEIR UPCOMING SONG RELEASES BUT I'M SURE IT'S THE BEST FEELING TO WAKE UP TO CHECK YOUR NOTIFS AND SEE "Big Hit Labels" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FIREEE. DUDE SERIOUSLY I NEED JIMIN TO GO LIVE AGAIN (although we've been well fed by namjoon for now🤧😌💗) LIKE THAT ONE YT LIVE WHERE HE SAID "O...M...G" SHUT UP STOP BEING SO CUTE I'M DHJSWLIFJWKALS

LMAO OKAY YEAH THAT'S VALID YOUR BLOG THEME IS BASICALLY ✨jimin✨ AND I LOVE THAT IT REALLY GRAVITATED ME AND YOUR URL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD YOUR BRAINNN 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

YES YES YES JIMIN IS SO PERFECT AND THE SOCK DOODLESSS 😭😭😭 oooo so when did you get into giffing? how did you start? BROOOOO YOUR URL'S ORIGIN STORY. I LOVE IT WOW YES IT'S DEFINITELY GOT THE REQUIRED ✨pazzaz✨

NOOO OMG THIS URL IS YOUR BRAND LIKE YOU'RE A LEGEND ON ARMYBLR I LOVE IT SO MUCH. BUT STILL!! IT'S YOUR CHOICE AT THE END 💖

OMG QUARANTINE DID IT'S ONE GOOD JOB AND GOT YOU INTO BANGTAN YAY. OMG YOU AND MISS LIFEGOESMON ARE FRIENDSS??? LEGENDS INTERACTING THIS IS SO COOL. LMAO THE PARADIGM SHIFT YOU MUST'VE FELT FROM LISTENING TO STAY GOLD (WHICH BTW THE MV...THE LITERAL CUTEST OH GOD THE LITTLE DOG AND JIMIN'S LITTLE SMILES DHSJAOWO) TO THEN GOING TO BST IN WHICH JIMIN IS BASICALLY STRIPPING AND JUNGKOOK IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO. YES BS&T HAS EVERYONE HOOKED THE POWERRRR. YOU FALLING DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH YOUR FRIEND'S ASSISTANCE OH GOD THIS IS SO CUTE 💓 EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺

AAAAH OKAY MY STORY ISN'T AS INTERESTING AS YOURS IS BUT IN 2016 BASICALLY ALL I KNEW OF KPOP WAS GANGNAM STYLE AND WASNT WILLING TO CUANGE THAT PERCEPTION (FOOL BEHAVIOUR I TELL YOU) AND WAS TOO BUSY OBSESSING OVER ONE DIRECTION'S REUNION AND SO ONE NIGHT (THE NIGHT BEFORE JIMIN'S BIRTHDAY 🤧🤧) I JUST STUMBLED UPON THEIR BS&T TEARS MV AND I HEARD IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG!! THIS IS THAT SUPER ADDICTIVE SONG THAT I'D HEARD SOMEWHERE AND IT JUST SPIRALLED FROM THERE I REMEMBER SEEING JIMIN AND BEING LIKE 👀👀👀👀 WHO IS HE I LIKE HIM AND JUST HIS AURA DREW ME IN SOOO MUCH AND WHEN I WAS GETTING INTO THEM I REMEMBER WRITING THEIR NAMES IN MY NOTES TO SEE IF I COULD REMEMBER 🤧 AND I STILL HAVE THAT NOTE FROM 4+ YEARS AGO 💓 AND YEAH BASICALLY SEEING THEM DO ALL THE MUSIC SHOWS AND STUFF AT THE TIME WAS SO COOOL AND MIND YOU BH DIDN'T HAVE SUBS FOR BANGTAN BOMBS THEN SO WENT ON THESE SKETCHY DAILYMOTION TYPE SITES LOOKING FOR ALL THE CONTENT I COULD CHURN OUT LMAO

AND YES!! COURTESY OF YOU I DID WATCH SOME RUN EPS!! I WATCHED THEIR CANADA ONES SPEAKING OF WHICH I LOOOVE THAT PART WHERE THEY'RE DOING THAT SONG GUESSING THING IN THE MORNING AND JIMIN SAYS "are you cold?" 🥺🥺 TO TAE AND HUGS HIM URRHRHEHSJSJSH AND I ALSO SAW THE ONES WITH THE PUPPIES GODDDDD I LOVE THE PUPPIES ONE SO MUCH LITERALLY JUNGKOOK AND HIS DOG (MIRI?) OH MY GOD THAT LIL FLUFFER AND ADAM IS MY ICON WITH HOW HE JUST DID HIS OWN THING LMAO.

BUT ANYWAY!! DO YOU HAVE A FAVE ERA?? LIKE DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THEM AND GO "Damn I wish I was a fan then" BECAUSE HONESTLY I WISH I HAD STANNED THEM IN THEIR DOPE ERA BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED JIMIN THEN DHKSOWID-💫

FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME!!!!!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!!! AND YAYYYYY CONGRATS I HOPE THE FIRST LEG OF EXAMS WENT WELL <333333 AND OH MY GOD you’re gonna make me cry with the together baam goddddddd same one of my fave moments and jimin’s giggles after that 😭😭😭😭 my babies <3 :((((

that..... black suit selca....... that opened button...... like open one more dear sir who’s stopping you... just do it <33333 YEAH he totally needs to shut up with his i know im hot side it just kills me every single time 😭😭😭😭😭

LISTEN THAT BV3 MOMENT S H O O K ME OKAY????? THOSE GUYS LOOKED AT HIM AND HE WAS SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT IT (AND HE SHOULD BE) AND THE WAY HE LICKED HIS LIPS AND RAN HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR????? LIKE HE KNOWS HE HAS EVERY SINGLE PERSON; NO MATTER WHAT GENDER; WRAPPED AROUND HIS LIL PINKY LIKE THAT???????

OH MY GOD ME TOO I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE THE WINGS STAGE AND WATCHING THEM HAVE SO MUCH FUN IS JUST SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I ALSO ABSOLUTELY LOVVVEEE THEIR ENERGY DURING THE SY TOUR MEDLEY WITH IDOL AND BAEPSAE AND FIRE AND DOPE ZSXDFGFCHGVJBHJN THEY JUST LOSE THEMSELVES IN THE CROWD AND THE MUSIC AND ITS JUST SO FUCKING SURREAL TO WATCH HOW MUCH THEY ENJOY DOING WHAT THEY DO!!!!! kinda makes me want to find that happiness and passion in whatever i do in my professional life <3 and LISTEN jimin said the break the soul commentary THAT HE COULD DO SERENDIPITY SHIRTLESS TOO. THE AUDACITY. HE SAID THAT WITH HIS WHOLE CHEST.

YOU KNWO WHAT I THINK JIMIN WON’T GIVE US A HINT BEFORE DROPPING PJM1. HE’LL JUST DROP IT ONE FINE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE HE DROPPED PROMISE AND CHRISTMAS LOVE (i wasn’t here when he dropped promise but i read that on twitter sdfghjkl) AND NO PLS NO I DO N O T WANT TO SLEEP THROUGH JJK1 OR KTH1 OR PJM1 OR KSJ1 OR NAMGI MIXTAPE 3 OR HOBI MIXTAPE 2 OR ANYTHING BASICALLY YOU GET IT i had slept through dynamite cb because i had NO CLUE that they were gonna drop it at 1pm kst rather than 12 am kst. i was under the impression that since they dropped all the teaser pictures and the teaser itself as 12 am kst, the mv will drop at 12 am kst too. and I woke up like two hours after the mv dropped (which was almost noon my time) and i felt like A FUCKING FOOL AND I JUST 😭😭😭😭 NEVER WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN 😭😭😭

AND YES BABIE NEEDS TO COME LIVE SOON PLS I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH :((((( AND HIS O...M.....G HAD MADE ME FUCKING SOBBBBBBBBBBB his yt live god he looked sooooooo fluffy with his hair and his tiny hands and his puppy eyes and soft voice im just so 😭😭😭😭😭😭

NO NONNONONONO PLEASE IM NO LEGEND DON’T SAY THAT IM EMBARRASSED im just a normal fangirl who makes okayish gifs 😭😭 and ok yes so i started giffing LONNNGGGGGG time back on a different public fan forum from my country but i never knew the right process and stuff so obviously the gifs were shitty lmao BUT ANYWAY i got into gifmaking PROPERLY this in july last year and obviously struggled a lot in the beginning because i didn’t know shit about colouring and stuff lmao but i kept practicing and even though im not perfect rn i do think that i got better. i love giffing tho. its such a nice creative outlet and whenever i gif the boys it brings me so much happiness :( <33

AND YES ASDFGHJKL ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS SINCE A VERY LONG TIME SDFGHJK LIKE LONG BEFORE BOTH OF US GOT INTO BTS SDFGHJ and ah yes the whiplash lmaooooooo and you’re right god the stay gold mv is SO FUCKING PRETTY THE COLOURS IN THAT ENTIRE MV HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND JIMIN AND TAE AND JOON WITH THE DOGGO JUST EVERYTHING SDFGHJK <3333333 AND BS&T DUDE I GIFFED THE MV YESTERDAY AND IM 💀💀💀💀💀 (like i just giffed jimin from the mv but i did watch the whole thing 5647589 times <333333) AND GUESS WHAT!!!!!! I WAS A LILLY SINGH FAN (IDK IF YOU KNOW HER SHE’S A YOUTUBER) BACK IN 2016 AND PEOPLE BACK THEN HAD REQUESTED HER TO REACT TO BS&T MV AND I HAD WATCHED HER REACTION VIDEO AND (although it didn’t stick with me back then because i was a fucking fool) I DID SOMEHOW REMEMBERED THE JIN AND STATUE KISSING MOMENT AND WHEN IN 2020 I SAW THE MV AND SAW THE KISSING MOMENT MY BRAIN JUST!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE SOMEWHERE AND THEN I REMEMBERED I HAD SEEN THIS IN THE REACTION VIDEO LMAOOOOO i wish i hadn’t been a fool and gotten into them back then :((((

AH NO OMG YOUR STORY IS SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEE ATLEAST YOU WEREN’T A FOOL LIKE ME TO NOT GET ATTRACTED TO BS&T THE FIRST TIME OF SEEING IT!!!! I WANNA HIT MY 2016 SELF LIKE DAMN YOU YOU FOOLISH ASSHOLE AND yes omg how did y’all do the subs thing damnnnnn i can’t imagine

AND YES THE CANADA RUN EPIS ARE LOOOVVVEEEE and that vmin moment plsssssss i cry everytime 😭😭😭😭😭 it is just so soft and innocent and tae’s little smile after jimin just turns around and hugs him 😔😔😔😔 i love soulmates 😔😔😔😔 AND MIRI YES OMG EVERYONE WAS SO IMPRESSED BY THE LITTLE CUTIE AND THE WAY JUNGKOOK JUST KEPT ADORING HER THROUGHOUT MADE ME SO SO SOFTTTT and bro adam is me. i am like that. lazy and un-motivated AF. although if i were a dog and jin were to be my owner i would listen to him so well and jump on him every chance i’d get 😌😌😌

GOD YES RED HAIR DOPE ERA JIMIN 💀 BABIE BUT MAKE IT SEXY 🥵🥵 AND OMG YESDGFHG MY FAVE ERA IS HYYH. ORANGE HAIRED JIMIN. PLS. HE’S EVERYTHING. I WISH I HAD GOTTEN INTO THEM DURING THAT. LIKE THAT ERA IS ..... SOMEHOW SO FUCKING WILD AND STILL SO ASSURING AND CALMING ????? KEEPS ME ROOTED LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN DFGHJKL AND WINGS TOO DAMN I WISH I WAS HERE TO LIVE ALL THOSE AMAZING ERAS. but even though i wish i had gotten into them earlier... i think i found them when i needed them the most. I was going through a very difficult time last year and they somehow they made me feel so fucking safe and at home that the connection was instant. honestly i’ve never stanned or felt a connection with any celebrity as strong as the one i feel with bangtan. its like... they don’t know i exist but they still know EXACTLY what im feeling and what to say or do at that time to make me feel comforted. Its weird god but its true :((( SORRY I GOT EMO I JUST LOVE THEM A LOT SDFGHJKL

#anonymous #replied #💫

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acatfishconfession · 4 years

Text

Chapter 1: Who am I?

If someone - anyone, had bothered to ask me (other than my elementary school teachers) where I could see myself at age twenty-nine, pushing thirty. It sure as fuck wouldn’t be here.

“Where is ‘here’, exactly?” Here, is sitting in a broke down computer chair. Listening to sad instrumentals on YouTube auto-play while I sip my Dunkin refresher, binge eat munchkin donut holes and cry over my laptop keyboard.

I wish I could say that was the worst of it. Truly, I do. But the real depth of it - the most heinous and offensive thing of all that I am doing right now is why I am here and writing this with my D.D. and emotional bullshit.

Most of my time is currently occupied flipping between five fake Instagram accounts, three fake Facebooks, two fake Twitter accounts, a fake Tinder, a fake Bumble, and my three personal accounts on social media where I’ve already lined up my next potential ‘mask’. Which is what I like to call the unwitting victims of image theft.

That’s right, world.

I am an online catfish.

Hate me. Hate me as much as I do.

I keep hoping that maybe if I feel enough of it - it will somehow trick the overly sensitive, non-confrontational, and social anxiety-riddled side of me into once and for all stopping this madness. Or at least making me feel guilty enough to just want this be over - in whatever way this sort of insanity can end once and for all.

I’ve spent more time than I’d like to admit considering the two ways it most likely will. As well as the one that I don’t dare to even mention because it’s as foolish and more unlikely than any other.

The two main ways it will likely end are death or prison. The likelihood of death being by my own hand though, is slim. Not impossible, but most definitely unlikely. Purely for the fact that I am without doubt, the biggest pussy I know. Hell, most of my tattoos were just a means to try and impress friends. Which sucks even more now because I hate damn near all of the friends I wanted and equally the tattoos that I have.

Still not sure if it’s because I hate the tattoo artist that did them or just their artwork in general. Either way, there it is. I’m a pussy. If you were concerned for a moment that I might kill myself and by partisan obligate you to contact someone for help - you can relax now.

No. If I die it will most likely be homicide via crime of passion. I am fully aware that I may inevitably piss off the wrong person in my catfishing ventures, and end up at the bottom of a river somewhere. But that would probably be good old karma just doing what she’s best at. After all... When you play a dangerous game with emotions, those emotions can become the most volatile weapon anyone can wield. Especially when they are tested and toyed with enough. As for prison... Well... I know there are many legal actions people can take in regard to how their photos are used and what is said about them. How they are portrayed by others online or otherwise falls under the realm of slander - if I’m not mistaken. Not entirely sure if we can call it genuine identity theft. I’m pretty sure the entire point of being a catfishing is to work in a lucrative enough way to which the content owners will be forever (or at least prolongingly) never the wiser to what you’re doing. So you change things like name, locations, ages, birthdays, etc. Avoid them and their circle of friends with prejudice. I don’t just mean ‘don’t send them friend requests’ or ‘don’t check their pages’.

If you’re good at catfishing (if one even call the level of depravity you have to hit to do it well ‘good’), you pull out all the stops. Finding all of their accounts on every site and app and blocking them, their friends, their friend’s friends, and families. Whole geographic locations sometimes. Anyone from their area or who went to their school. You vanish from their potential radar.

And believe me when I say.... At catfishing... There are none better than me. At least, not that I’ve ever heard of.

That’s not to be confused with boasting. I feel disgusted with myself in even stating it. Because that’s what it is - disgusting. This is the first time I’m admitting this in my entire life. So, I suggest you take a deep breath with me before you read what I’m about to confess. Ready?

In - one, two, three, four, five, six.

Out - seven, eight, nine, ten.

I have catfished as (yes, I’ve counted)… One-hundred and twenty-seven people.

I know... I know... It’s impressive. Horribly and disturbingly so. And that does not account for the number of accounts I’ve had for each of them. Emails, Instagrams, Facebooks, etc. Even a few Vampirefreaks and Darkstarling accounts back in the day. I can’t even remember the names of most of them anymore. Only their faces. But even those fade over time.

You’d think for as prolific as I’ve been with getting to know them, their lives, and those around them so intimately to pull off the amount of catfishing I have - I’d remember more clearly. But I suppose if you do anything for as long as I’ve been catfishing, you’re bound to lose track of a few memories or blips of time.

I know you’re all dying to know exactly how long I’ve being doing this for. So I’ll tell you. The answer may be as equally shocking as my ‘mask count’. Realistically, take a moment and try to guess how old I was when I started. Here’s a tip. As I sit and write this, I’m 29. Just a few months shy of my 30th birthday. Now go on.... Give it your best shot.

Got a guess?

Ladies, gentlemen, and thems. I have been catfishing since I was eight years old.

That’s right. Only eight years old. I’m sure you were thinking surely fourteen or even fifteen. Technically, you’re right. Somewhere around there is when I actually became aware of what it was exactly that I was doing. But things were much different then. When I was eight, the internet being a modern in-home comfort was relatively new. We had dial-up. Screechy AOL start up sounds that were most likely close rivals to what would be Cthulhu’s mating call. The days of poorly moderated chatrooms and weak HTML coding. Not even Myspace existed at that point (I really miss Tom. We took him for granted. Zuckerberg’s rules kind of make him seem like a bit of a cuck. But I digress.)

Before I was twelve years old, no one knew what the hell ‘catfishing’ was. We’d never experienced enough of it to have to worry that people online would lie about something as outlandish as their face. Their age, name, or location - maybe. Shit, people have been lying about their relationship and marital statuses since the dawn of man. The internet didn’t breed lies like that, (though I’m certain it made it a great deal easier to do). Those were the kind of lies that you’d think of when it came to telling lies on the internet. But nothing like this.

Now look at us. For every ten of your actual friends on Instagram, there is at least one catfish following you or trying to make friends with you. Not that it’s a factually proven ratio or anything, more so an idea. I’m clearly not a scientist or research analyst, and as we’ve already established - I’m way too busy maintaining fake accounts to actually look up factual catfishing statistics.

So why? Why did I do it? Why do I continue to do it? Why confess now? Most importantly, who the hell am I? The ‘whys’ are a bit more complex than just selecting reason A or B. But if you’re really curious to know and willing to hear what I have to say and find out what makes up a catfish. Or at least - me. The most prolific online catfish likely to date (here’s hoping I am because I’d hate to know there is anyone crazier than me out there). Then stick around, because I’m ready to tell you - all of you. Everyone who cares to read this story. I am going to do my best along the way to help you answer some questions you might have. What is it like, how does it make me feel, do I really feel guilty, are there other kinds of catfish, and which one am I? And of course - how to spot and potentially stop a catfish.

Maybe by the end of this blog series, and once you are past out-right hating me (if you can find it in you to get past out-right hating me.... *Insert nervous and shameful laughter here*). You’ll be at least thankful to have learned some new things and gained an understanding that you hadn’t expected to from this. Or at least be thoroughly entertained - because, who the hell doesn’t love a controversial story line? As for who I am....

I really wish I could give you an answer. Because truth be told - I don’t even know anymore.

Maybe in writing this series, I’ll figure that out. Hell, you might even help me get there a bit. Aside the most obvious and recently discovered portion of that answer being, that I am first and foremost, a massive piece of shit - for stealing people’s photos and lying about who I am.

#story autobigraphy catfish controversial writing series book author blog blogging internet fake faking socialmedia

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iron--spider · 5 years

Text

not at all funny (whumptober - asphyxiation)

“Peter,” Tony says, watching as Friday tracks the kid’s trajectory, following his arc as he flips through the air. “Peter Parker.”

“Uh oh, full name time, what’d I do?”

Tony watches him do another outrageous flip, spinning at least three times in the air. The web he lets go of soars like a party streamer. He shoots another one, swings from it, and quickly shoots one more, launching himself high.

“What the hell is with all the acrobatics?” Tony asks, flying up higher. Peter shoots more webs, completely unnecessarily, and they firework all around them. “I know you’re a part of the circus, but you’re at your day job right now, bud—”

“Part of the circus?” Peter laughs. “I’m just happy, okay, aren’t you happy?”

Tony snorts, watching as Friday lays out their path back to the compound. He’d considered bringing a jet, but he knows Peter likes the long swing and fly back.

“Of course I’m happy,” Tony says, as Peter does another couple flips, more webs flying all over the place. “Always a good feeling to save a bunch of kids.”

“They were so excited to see us!” Peter exclaims. He spins sideways in some kind of double helix, rolling out into another long swing. “And that puppy? I mean—the situation could have been real bad, but it was real good! Because we were there! And now everybody’s safe!”

Tony shakes his head—Peter has no business being this endearing. They’re flying through town now, a little low for Tony’s tastes, but the buildings aren’t as high over here and Peter’s gotta have something to latch onto. He’s certainly giving people a good show, and everyone on the ground that Tony can see has their phones out to film his antics. “Listen, I get the spider celebration, but don’t your webs take a lot to make? Don’t you slave over that shit? Let’s settle down, Crockett, or you’re not gonna make it home.”

“Ugh, fine, always spoiling my fun,” Peter says. “Lemme just—”

He lets out what could only be called an explosion of webs then—some of the web bombs, the super bursts, the works for big battles, and Tony rolls his eyes at the wastefulness, but he can’t help but smile.

It feels like something inside of him knew what was coming next, and he watches as the kid flips and spins and drops directly into the powerlines, landing stagnant amongst his mass of webs. Tony’s heart sinks a little—Peter’s limbs are all tangled, his arm sticking out up by his head, and Tony’s just about to break into full blown panic when he hears Peter laugh in his ear.

“Wow, wow, okay,” Peter says. “That was—that was unexpected.”

Tony hovers there, glancing down to see everybody watching. “Uh, really? Really really? Because even if I didn’t see it coming, I saw it coming. Because you attract these things, buddy boy, with all your crazy flipping and excess webs.”

“I’m a little stuck, just a little stuck.”

“Uh, you think?”

Peter laughs again, too delighted for someone in his situation. “Well, aren’t you gonna help me?” he asks, twisting around a little bit, slipping his left arm out of the hole it’s trapped in and through another part of the webs.

It reminds Tony of jumbled up string or headphone wires, and it drives him a little insane looking at it. “Nah, I’m gonna see how you handle this one for a few minutes here,” Tony says. He clears his throat, going off com so Peter can’t hear him. “Uh, Fri, give me a good way out of those webs for Pete, please.”

“Right away, Boss.”

“And, uh, he’s not gonna electrocute himself, right? We built in shit to keep that from happening, right?”

“We did. And he should be safe, unless the line gets severed.”

Tony nods to himself. Peter’s almost like one of those damn pigeons. Tony moves to hover a little closer, and he can’t help but laugh as Peter methodically moves in and out of the webs like a goddamn spider, ducking and tugging his legs in and out. Tony wonders if he could just break it all if he pulled and pushed hard enough, but clearly, that’s not an attempt he’s gonna make.

Tony goes back on coms. “Good lord, kid,” he says, laughing harder. “What a mess. You’re ridiculous.”

“Yeah, well, I—”

Peter moves the wrong way and falls. But he doesn’t drop all the way to the ground, and when Tony looks closer, to his horror—the kid is hanging by his fucking neck. He’s kicking and struggling and grasping at the offending web, and there’s a gasp from the crowd below.

Tony swoops over, his heart in his throat. He grabs Peter around the waist with one arm, holding him up so the web around his neck isn’t strangling him. But it’s tight as hell when Tony grabs at it with his free hand—Peter’s webs are some of the strongest material Tony’s ever come in contact with, and he can’t just snap it off, despite the fact that he’s wearing the suit.

“Kid, can you breathe?” Tony asks, right up close to him now, and he flips up the faceplate so Peter can see him, even though he’s still wearing his own mask. “Tell me.”

“Oh—like, barely,” Peter gasps, voice ragged.

“Okay, okay,” Tony says, holding onto him tight and hoisting him up a little higher. “Okay, uh—” He’s stuck between cutting it off and burning it off, knowing both aren’t the best case scenario and both will absolutely hurt Peter. But it’s less likely that he can actually cut through the webbing with anything he’s got right now—damn Peter for being so damn smart and so dumb at the same time. Create an incredibly strong material. Strangle yourself with it.

“I have to burn through it bud,” Tony says. “Gimme a sec. Just one sec.” He aims his pointer finger at the webbing around the kid’s neck, listening to him wheeze, and Friday quickly selects the right tool and power level. Tony starts before he gets any sort of permission because Peter is still actively being strangled, and Tony feels him jolt a little bit when the laser hits his suit.

“Tony—” Peter gasps, clearly in pain, voice already breaking.

“I’m sorry, kid, I’m sorry,” Tony says, wincing himself, barely able to look at the brightness of the laser. He should put his faceplate back down, but he wants to offer Peter some kind of familiar comfort. He hopes he doesn’t look too horrified. He can’t control his face. “I’m sorry, I’m gonna fix it, I’m gonna fix it, just a second—”

The first layer of webbing snaps, and Tony can see Peter’s suit going black.

“Just a little bit more—” Tony says, and Peter tries to take a big breath, the web still cutting off his air supply. Then the second layer snaps, just as the laser comes in contact with Peter’s skin. Peter gasps, and Tony bats the webbing off of him. He puts his faceplate back down, and then he takes off without another word, still holding Peter.

“Oh my God,” Peter rasps, coughing, as Friday boosts thrusters by fifty percent. “Oh my God.”

“Yeah, oh my God,” Tony says, as his own heart rate flashes on the screen. “You’re such a moron sometimes, Pete. It’s too much for my damn—you’re gonna give me a heart attack.”

Peter sticks to him, holding on tight. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Tony sighs, instantly feeling bad for the moron comment. “Don’t be,” he says. “Shit, just—you need—you’ve gotta—”

“I know,” Peter says, and he reaches up with one hand, patting the burn on his neck. “I know, I know, ugh, I know.”

“The video went viral,” Happy says, standing behind the two of them as Tony deals with the burn on Peter’s neck. There are horrible red rings around his throat, which Tony hopes heal up real quick, because they make him feel dizzy and sick. Happy keeps talking. “It’s already got 6.7 million views on Twitter, uh, user shootingwebs says WHOA SPIDER-MAN BE CAREFUL DON’T HANG YOURSELF WE NEED YOU—”

“Very nice dramatic reading,” Tony deadpans. “You should be on the stage.”

“I’m just telling you the news,” Happy says, with a sigh.

“No one genuinely thinks I did that on purpose,” Peter says. His voice sounds like he screamed til he lost it, and Tony wishes he just wouldn’t talk until he doesn’t sound like that anymore. “Right? I mean—”

“No,” Tony says, opening up the bandage and pressing it carefully over the new wound. Thankfully, it’s small, and it’ll be gone soon. “No one genuinely thinks you did it on purpose. Everybody saw you flipping around like a flying Bruce Lee with your stupid web streamers.”

Peter snorts, and reminds Tony of his own laughter before the kid made the whole thing Not At All Funny.

“Uh, a mom of one of the kids from that weird collapsing building thing you were at—right before this,” Happy says, glancing back and forth between the both of them. “She, uh, tweeted out her thoughts, hoping...Spider-Man is okay.”

Tony rolls his eyes, heaving a sigh.

“That’s nice,” Peter says, squeaky voice still intact. “That’s really nice of her.”

“We’re gonna have to make a legitimate statement,” Tony says, rubbing his eyes. “I’ll have to think up the right thing to say…” Even though the whole thing was literally like a Three Stooges skit, Tony feels shaken down to his core. Watching Peter nearly hang himself, having to hurt him to fucking help him—he wasn’t exaggerating, about the heart attack. Peter is gonna give him a heart attack.

He slaps his hands down on his knees, and looks at Peter hard. “Your webs are too strong. Never thought I’d be saying that. I could barely burn through that shit without literally cutting through you.”

“Good!” Peter says, brows furrowed. “Listen, this isn’t—an everyday situation—”

“Uh huh, uh huh,” Tony says, nodding drastically. “Never again. No more web streamer celebrations. No matter what we did previously. I love when you’re happy, I always want you to be happy, but clearly, too much happiness means you’re gonna get tangled up in your own webbing and the power lines and almost goddamn hang yourself.”

Peter pouts, looking away, and Tony sighs again.

“Don’t worry,” Happy says, looking at the kid. “Before the whole Iron Man gig, Tony once fell off the side of a building while he was at a rooftop party and firefighters had to come and get him.”

Tony rolls his eyes.

“He wasn’t even drunk,” Happy says, grinning.

A wide smile splits across Peter’s face, and okay, fine, that’s worth Happy sharing that incredibly embarrassing story.

“This’ll blow over,” Happy says. “We just gotta get Clint out there and make him do something stupid and we’ll be golden.”

“You work on that,” Tony says, pointing back at him. Then he points at Peter. “You—promise I never have to see you with a noose around your neck again, whether it’s made of your own webbing or not.”

Peter presents his hand, and sticks his pinky out towards Tony. “Pinky swear,” he rasps. “The most powerful kind of promise.”

Tony scoffs, overwhelmed, for a second, with fondness. Then he locks their pinkys together, and they both squeeze. “Good,” he says, when they let go. He hops down off the counter. “Now I’m gonna go call May and explain Spider-Man’s latest viral incident.”

“Have fun!” Peter says, voice breaking.

“Uh huh,” Tony says, walking away from him, trying to suppress his smile.

Jesus, this kid.

#tony stark #peter parker #whumptober #whumptober 2019 #my fics #iron man #spider-man #iron dad #ANTICSSS

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