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#I’ll see how I feel tomorrow I guess
littl3d0ll-art · 2 months
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A noble garb, fit for the leader of the cult
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doyeons · 7 months
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☹️ both of my parents are encouraging me to make a trip home before my spring break to see daisy just in case
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bistaxx · 1 year
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I try to keep things positive on here but todays kinda the exception- I use the tags ‘negative’ or ‘discourse’ on here if you guys want to blacklist those
Also Most of my grief is towards chatters/twt not towards the tumblr fanbase 👍
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exopelagic · 10 months
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auuudggghghhrhrhrbrr
#okay I’m feeling Bad and I need to unpick why before I’ll be able to sleep#friend is asking abt lunch on Friday when I already have standing commitment w other friends then so I can’t do that.#but I also go home on Sunday and I can’t do shit until Friday bc work and I have plans on Saturday so I just. can’t see them#which. I guess makes things easier actually that’s not something I can control and I’m not changing existing plans that’s unfair#I’m also listening to a playlist of old music (Apple Music generated favourites — so literally random picked from everything I’ve ever done#and the last few songs have made me feel Bad bc of being associated with certain times but song playing rn is definitively a good song#w a good memory attached and it’s MY song not one of my old friends#okay where are we#I’m stressed abt presentation on Thursday but also a non issue. I’m prepared. I have all day tomorrow to practice and read up more#and then it’s 20 minutes on Thursday morning I’ll be done before 10am#I am. a little frustrated on a broader scale about the role I’m currently occupying#in that w a bunch of my friends I’m having to be the one with their shit together and dealing with their Stuff.#mostly in the way that I have to be putting in extra effort to tiptoe around them and steer stuff to keep them happy#i can do it i can do it easily I’ve just tasted not having to now so it’s. noticeably different having to do it more#i do Not have the words to talk abt this in the way I want to it’s so annoying#it’s like. I know how my friend responds to stuff. I know the things that make her anxious and what her instinctual responses will be#and I’m constantly having higher level thoughts planning out how things will go it’s effortless and constant it’s just There#with everyone all the time but sometimes I use it more and sometimes I have to because I’m in a position where if I don’t we’ll get nowhere#and I don’t like that I’m having to worry abt keeping other people happy while I’m talking to my friends it removes me a layer from stuff#hrm. there are broader questions here abt the utility of this bc like. sure it helps in some situations#but this probably isn’t great long term for either of us. wild. goddamn talking to my friend abt philosophy opened new parts of my brain#anyway I cba to have those thoughts rn! it’s midnight! I’m going to bed in half an hour <3#it’s honestly unfair that I have to do anything other than be gay and play pokemon#luke.txt#uaUrghrhfhjs I’m also being insane abt a guy. which is predictable and I feel stupid abt for multiple reasons but. here we are.#I’m being insane. and maybe I should be less mean to myself but I feel like I’m being insane.#I think! I need to go to bed!#I am not being insane I am having feelings and that is allowed. feelings are typically regarded as a pretty normal thing to have.#philosophy friend is gonna be so mad at me if anything comes of this but it’s fine and if it does I think I’ll be pretty happy anyway#point is I’m doing nothing wrong and have done nothing wrong and I’m allowed to feel whatever the hell I like. okay.
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insanechayne · 2 months
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~ ~ ~
#every time I call someone my best friend they turn into a fucking problem that just hurts me and makes me sick#is it me? am I doing something wrong? am I not supposed to have close friends?#or am I just such a fuckup that by being myself it’s inevitable that I’ll ruin my friendships?#kissed my bro on the cheek last week when he wasn’t doing too great and in my mind I was doing it just as an extra way to be encouraging#and show my support and that I’m here for him cause tbh I’ve done that with plenty of other friends and it ain’t no thing#but after a week of wondering why he’s been distant and not wanting to be around me when I’m saying I just need some time with a friend he#finally admits that he thought that was weird and out of line. so I gotta backtrack and try to explain myself but now all the stupid little#pieces be fitting and I realize that he’s probably been misconstruing me wanting time with him as thinking I’m gonna try to flirt with him#or something else fucking dumb like that. despite the fact that that has never been the case and he knows me fundamentally as a person and#should know I wouldn’t ever do anything that could make either of us cheaters even incidentally. plus he’s basically like a brother to me#and I have an AFAB partner so it’s not like I’m trolling for cock anyway and he knows that too. but now I gotta go back through every#interaction we’ve had since that happened and analyze whether or not I was weird or awkward or inappropriate in some way that he could be#upset about at all. and also act like everything is fine and keep it pushing like normal and police every future action to be safe too#because of course he can’t just be straight up about anything or tell me if something bothered him no I gotta play a whole ass fucking#guessing game. and now I also can’t trust that my best friend who is supposed to know me so well won’t take things I say/do the wrong way.#can’t trust that my best friend won’t see me in a poor light now because it’s clearly been affecting the friendship#and like totally that’s my bad I overstepped a boundary I didn’t realize was there but you should have just fucking told me at the time#instead of pulling this shit and giving me anxiety and blowing me off and making me feel like shit#can’t rely on him or trust him or anything and what’s the fucking point of even having a best friend if this is what happens? I’m at the end#of my fucking rope right now so stressed and anxious and no matter how much I try to talk to him or anything he just brushes me off and#won’t let me explain or get my feelings out or anything else. but hey at least I was around for him the other day when he needed somebody#good thing I was there to keep him from going back to drinking or something else stupid and could help him out. cause that’s what really#matters right just being able to help somebody else when they need it even if they don’t reciprocate and are actively hurting me instead of#just being there for me as a friend. guess we try again tomorrow huh? what else can be done I suppose. just get to suffer and be riddled#with anxiety and stress and depression eating away at me and ruining my fucking life. can’t even enjoy the Olympics or anything else because#I’m stuck overthinking this dumb shit. just want this to be over and things to be back to normal. wanna stop being upset about this shit and#be able to let it go but I don’t fucking know how and I can’t keep losing friends because it’s killing me#personal
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milo-is-rambling · 2 months
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Guys never google what might be wrong with you. Always assume you will get better on your own in a week or two if you do nothing to fix it or make it less painful 👍
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spacebell · 4 months
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I’m seriously thinking about working from home tomorrow
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theprettiestlamb · 5 months
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JEDIKIAH WINTER SOLDIER’D JOHN
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pixies--dust · 6 months
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Wrist hurts and feels weird, really cool
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conshirtoe · 1 year
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I’d like to give a quick shout out to my two favorite ladies at the moment. Give it up for Extra Strength Tylenol and 2048!!
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thyholymistress · 1 year
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just discovered that someone who has really helped me and my friends deal with a lot of stuff through their job has just changed where they work at and the fact that now we won’t be able to look forward to seeing him each week and open up with him and learn stuff thanks to him is rlly killing me. like. this person is one of the few cishet men other than my close blood relatives that i feel safe around. this man is one of the most genuine and kind and humble people i have ever met and has helped so many people and the fact that we won’t be able to see him anymore and we won’t be able to have fun together as a big loving group is killing me. i’m trying to look at all the memories and ideas that me and my friends have because of me but right now i’m rlly just a snotty teary blob of flesh and bones and blood because i can only see the negatives. i know this is kinda stupid writing it on a tumblr blog to a bunch of people i have never met except for like the three people that i’ve been calling my best friends ever since i was a baby, who also knew this man. but i feel like i’d rather throw it all out into oblivion than ignore it and bottle it up and be poisoned by it for years. it seems like the healthier option out of the two, even if neither is like that good. i’m sorry to all the people who follow me and my mutuals and stuff bc i know that this is 100% not what they followed me for yet i felt like it was better for me to write this on here than on my shitpost sideblog, this is somehow more personal to me i guess, since a lot of the stuff here is related to very personal experiences even if they’re just photos. again i’m sorry sorry sorry to be such a negative person rn i’m usually positive and see the best in people and all that but i guess that sometimes i also need to scream stuff into my cushion to feel better and that cushion is this post. anyways,
i hope everyone is having a good day today. you deserve it. i know that. and tomorrow will be my good day too. tomorrow will be good for all of us.
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albedobeheading · 1 year
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guys I am. So horribly emotionally unwell
#I was having a fine day!! like a lil stressed and whatever!!#but then I try to ask my dad for advice like should I move this date or next month??#and I say like I don’t know if I have the money for this but also staying here and hearing you and my mom yelling at each other is tough!!#and then he’s obviously not gonna be happy about me saying that bc I’ve deluded myself into thinking that my dad is a different person#than who he actually is and guess what!!! he fuckin makes the point that I need support from roommates but also living with them is#detrimental and says that in a way that he’s starting to get pissed off#like GOD dude!!!!#I feel like!!! my parents should be able to see how often I cry!!! and think huh? yanno maybe we’re contributing to this!!#but they don’t give a shit and I should move out sooner than later because I need to be out of here and that money will return to me at some#some point and eventually everything will be fine for me I just need to work hard and I’ll be living with someone who loves me very soon#because hey!!! right now I’m living with people who love me but are also mean to me!!!#I’m gonna hang out with my boyfriend tomorrow and I just. cannot fucking wait#it’s very possible that I’m incredibly dependent on him but that’s almost certainly just because living with my parents has made me lose#a lot of character development and independence I got from one fucking year of living alone#I’m so mad.#and so sad#ugh. I. I feel sick#I’m gonna cry so much I’ll end up with eye bags tomorrow morning#I just. need everything to work out
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peapod20001 · 1 year
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Ooooohh godd.
#vent#hep me </3 I feel sooooo uhh. negative. uhm#I’m having difficulty feeling rn I did smth to trigger this I think#see. I know I’m not fully there cus my sister is being silly and cute but I’m kinda. putting on a smile#instead of it being my natural reaction. mmm.#ooohohoogoho why can’t I just talk to peopleeeeee why is is contact so close yet so far awayyyy#ghhuuugg. I’ll just. finish my drawing and post it. bury this. get ignored. yadda yadda#I don’t like making ppl feel sorry for me but see also. I have less than 4 years experience holding relationships this close. so I am uhhh.#very bad. at starting and holding conversations. continually checking in. making myself be someone ppl wanna keep around. yknow#siigghhhh uhhh. realized that the reason I’m so good at creating a bunch of fleshed out ocs that can pass as real people is cus I want ppl#to be around me. and to uh. stick around for more than a year. and be genuine. and easy to read. and understand#yea. also they’re to help me understand ppl cus I don’t got enough experience with real people to understand how to people#it’s much easier to play out a conversation between characters. and know they’re inner dialogues. and their history. and why they’re speakin#the way they are. and I can replay it over and over until I understand it inside and out. and hope I’m able to play the part I need when#it’s called upon. mhhhmmm. woaoowwww we’re going into the own mind tonight huh? will anyone read this far? lol. idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#the only thing that gives me any idea of who has read a post is if they like it. or if they come in my inbox like ‘:( sorry. condolences’ ha#haho. preemptive thanks and hugs y kisses love u. mmm it’s so hot outside but I’m sooo literally cold rn yknow how it is boys#ahh. love seeing people get along with others sooo much. gives me so many ideas on how to write my characters. being lovey on each other.#ahmm. yea. soo. let’s hope tomorrow I’m better and less. like this haha woaoowww wish I knew how to be human#I will NOT be crying tonight. or maybe I will. idk. we’ll see I suppose. tears have already been shed today so I guess anything is possible
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deepspacelxver · 10 days
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Clingy Sylus
Sylus was always a bit clingy. Even before you two officially started dating he had always been more than enthusiastic to have you by his side. But now that you were official, his need to have you by his side was constant.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
You were sitting at your desk finishing some work when your phone buzzed. Checking the caller ID you saw that it was none other than your boyfriend, Sylus.
“Shouldn’t you be asleep right now? It’s too early for you to be getting into trouble.” You teased.
“You always seem to think I’m up to no good kitten. Have you ever thought that I might be calling because I miss you?” He taunts back.
“Still, you’re usually in bed by now. Don’t you think it’s a bit late to be missing me?” You say while putting away some folders.
“I could say the same about you. I thought we agreed on fixing your sleep schedule, no more work or coffee after 8 pm. And if I’m guessing I’d have to say you’ve broken both those rules by now. ”
You eye the empty mug on your desk then hop up out of your seat to look out the window.
“Have you been sending Mephisto to spy on me again? And don’t turn this around on me, we were talking about you!”
Sylus chuckles, “Don’t worry sweetie, I haven’t been spying much, I just know you too well.”
You roll your eyes silently. “Anyway back to what I was saying, why are you awake?”
Silence fills the room for a moment before Sylus quietly mumbles, “I can’t sleep… without you.”
You softened at his words, but quickly regained composure as you knew where this was heading. “Sy, you know I cant-“
“Please come over kitten, I miss you.” He pleaded into the phone.
“I have work tomorrow! I can’t miss it and you know that.” You scolded.
“Come on sweetie, just tonight? I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” You could practically see the smirk he had on his face.
While the thought of having Sylus hold and caress you in all sorts of place excited you, you had a special mission tomorrow and Captain Jenna would surely have your head if you called off work again.
“I’m sorry Sy, you know I’d love to but this mission is really important and-“
“How much?”
Confused you questioned, “What?”
“How much kitten? I’ll pay anything to get over here and by my side tonight.” He was on the edge now. “We don’t have to do anything, all I want is to hold you close next to me and I’ll pay any amount of money to make that happen.”
“You know I’m not some thing you can rent whenever you please right? I have my own schedule too!” You reproached, slightly offended at his offer to “buy” your time.
He sighed, “I’m sorry Sweetie, I only meant that I’d do absolutely anything to hold you in my arms for a few hours.”
Feeling guilty for your small outburst you apologized, “Of course, I’m sorry. But I just can’t make it tonight Sy…”
“Not even if I won you all those plushies you wanted from the claw machine?”
“Not even if you won me all those plushies” you laughed
Another defeated sigh could be heard through the other side. “Alright alright. Could you at least grant me the pleasure of staying on the phone until I fall asleep though?”
You chuckled lightly, “Of course Sylus.”
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exopelagic · 10 months
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I have the curse of so much to say all the time I should rlly get a diary
#anyway. I’m just trying to get to know the guy but there’s That sitting there bc he’s cute#it makes me feel so weird abt everything bc it doesn’t feel like I should be Feeling That idk how much other people have this#added weirdness coming with being gay#anyway I’m so lucky that the one person who knows me well enough to be able to See Things is completely oblivious bc goddamn#I run the full length of the rink to catch up with Big Luke after he leaves bc there was a glove left on the bench where we were#and I thought it might’ve been his (it wasn’t)#i didn’t realise that when I feel things I feel them Big#partly bc I spent a long time not letting myself but I think this whole thing comes with the territory of repression#but yeah if you hadn’t guessed the Guys thing is one of the things The Wanting is shifting towards#I know that I absolutely cannot until may bc I don’t have time. it would almost definitely mess with me too much even if it’s good#once again feeling dumb for Having Feelings Abt Things but I think that too is normal#okay. I don’t have much time to do essay now but I can look through it and set it on the process of maturing in my head#bc I never get anything substantial done on the first day of working on smth anyway. it needs time to arrange itself in my head#and then I can cook with whatever I’ve got bc I think I have enough to make a decent curry even if I’m missing some vegetables I’d like#and tomorrow I can set my alarm properly and have a quiet day where I try to get my essay done and have a night to myself#I should email some supervisors but I’ll do that tomorrow they won’t read the emails until Monday anyway#okay?#oh yeah I also have the sun lamp now I’ll turn that on that will really help#okay I’m gonna go do that. <33#luke.txt
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hawkinsbnbg · 2 months
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“Can we keep him, Uncle Wayne?”
Wayne didn’t look up from his newspaper, too used to his nephew picking up strays and bringing them home. God blessed the boy’s big young heart, but their trailer didn’t have space for another kitty or pup.
“I told ya before and I told ya it now,” Wayne said gruffly but not unkindly. “We don’t have space for your pet, son.”
“He’s not–”
“Eds, I’ll be fine on my own,” a quiet voice cut in before Eddie could start his usual speech.
That garnered Wayne’s attention immediately. And there standing next to his nephew was Steve Harrington who looked worse for wear—red puffy eyes, split lips, disheveled hair, and rumpled clothes.
“What happened?” Wayne set his newspaper aside and straightened up in his chair. He had a few good guesses already given what he knew of Richard and Amanda, but he still wanted to hear their side of the story first.
“His parents kicked him out,” Eddie hissed, hand clutching Steve’s fiercely in case the other boy tried to get away. He didn’t, just deflated as soon as the words were out of Eddie’s mouth.
“I’m sorry, sir,” Steve mumbled, eyes shining stubbornly as they locked with Wayne’s. “I just need a place to stay until tomorrow and then I’ll be out of your hair soon.”
“Stevie,” Eddie turned to him with an exasperated look. “You can’t believe that I’d let you leave after everything, right?”
“I know you want to help,” Steve rubbed a hand down his face tiredly, like he needed to hide a part of himself, vulnerable and slightly worn-out. “But I don’t wanna intrude.”
“You won’t,” Eddie shook his head rapidly and then looked at Wayne. “Right, Wayne? He’s not bothering you or anything, right?”
Wayne took in the sight of the Harrington boy, scared and lost, and knew his decision had been made for him. It wasn’t his first time taking in a stray anyway.
“Just call me Wayne or Uncle Wayne, kid,” he offered Steve a closed-mouthed smile, his most amiable one. “We don’t have much here, but feel free to ask me anything you need.”
When Steve ducked his head with a shy smile and sniffled a small Thank you, Wayne didn’t regret his choice.
It didn’t hurt that his nephew also beamed at him like Wayne had just saved the world.
And in a sense, to Eddie, it was true.
Because Wayne could see how much the Harrington boy meant to him, see the way they looked at each other without admitting it aloud.
Perhaps, Wayne picked up his newspaper again as Eddie offered the Munson’s new member a mug of warm milk, he was going to have another son soon enough.
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