#ghhuuugg. I’ll just. finish my drawing and post it. bury this. get ignored. yadda yadda
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Ooooohh godd.
#vent#hep me </3 I feel sooooo uhh. negative. uhm#I’m having difficulty feeling rn I did smth to trigger this I think#see. I know I’m not fully there cus my sister is being silly and cute but I’m kinda. putting on a smile#instead of it being my natural reaction. mmm.#ooohohoogoho why can’t I just talk to peopleeeeee why is is contact so close yet so far awayyyy#ghhuuugg. I’ll just. finish my drawing and post it. bury this. get ignored. yadda yadda#I don’t like making ppl feel sorry for me but see also. I have less than 4 years experience holding relationships this close. so I am uhhh.#very bad. at starting and holding conversations. continually checking in. making myself be someone ppl wanna keep around. yknow#siigghhhh uhhh. realized that the reason I’m so good at creating a bunch of fleshed out ocs that can pass as real people is cus I want ppl#to be around me. and to uh. stick around for more than a year. and be genuine. and easy to read. and understand#yea. also they’re to help me understand ppl cus I don’t got enough experience with real people to understand how to people#it’s much easier to play out a conversation between characters. and know they’re inner dialogues. and their history. and why they’re speakin#the way they are. and I can replay it over and over until I understand it inside and out. and hope I’m able to play the part I need when#it’s called upon. mhhhmmm. woaoowwww we’re going into the own mind tonight huh? will anyone read this far? lol. idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#the only thing that gives me any idea of who has read a post is if they like it. or if they come in my inbox like ‘:( sorry. condolences’ ha#haho. preemptive thanks and hugs y kisses love u. mmm it’s so hot outside but I’m sooo literally cold rn yknow how it is boys#ahh. love seeing people get along with others sooo much. gives me so many ideas on how to write my characters. being lovey on each other.#ahmm. yea. soo. let’s hope tomorrow I’m better and less. like this haha woaoowww wish I knew how to be human#I will NOT be crying tonight. or maybe I will. idk. we’ll see I suppose. tears have already been shed today so I guess anything is possible
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