#I’ll be negative if I want to be negative

[littleblueteacup]

My family and I went on a trip to my aunt’s wedding last month. The area we stayed at that first night had red lighting and was set up to do stargazing and was out on the middle of basically nowhere and, look, I’ve lived in a regional town for most of my life. There is one town within twenty minutes and everything else takes at least and hour to get to. It’s not the most regional, but it’s enough that we can see the stars, and I can pretty easily find the identifiable constellations.

In the city I live in for university, I don’t even have that. We can, on a good day, see maybe three or four stars if we don’t have a power outage, which sucks because I hit an astronomy phase as a kid and hit a mythology phase not long after that.

This town? I stepped outside at night and before we even went to the star gazing presentation that my dad booked (because he is as much of a nerd about this stuff as I am, and my mother and sister are much the same), I could see Everything. There are so many more stars in the sky than I thought there were, and NONE OF THEM look how I thought they would.

Some of them took a telescope to see and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get rid of the image of a cluster that looked like a photo-negative of a rose, and I wouldn’t want to either.

The point is, even while we were doing that presentation and being blown away by exactly how tiny we are compared to the universe at large (something that was only possible to experience BECAUSE the area was set up with red lights and timers, by the way) we had bats flying through, and the chances of other animals just chilling was non-zero. This was not a hindrance to us. The bats were eating, there was minimal cross-over between our group and any animals. It was just that we were there, and so were they.

So look, even if you are not personally the biggest fan of the winged marsupial (or any other animals that could and would benefit from red lighting), acknowledge that the stars are worth the extra effort it would take to get things set up like this. And maybe look into it for your area, just as a curiosity thing.

perhaps some will disagree, but i think the world got worse when we changed the colour of the night

[neo127]

❀ ㅤ﹠ call me.

pairing: yang jungwon x gn!reader genre. fluff cw. none!! notes. this is kinda rushed but i wanted to write smth sigh

archives

jungwon’s heart couldn’t stop racing and his head began to swarm with negativity. sweat gathered on his skin and his mouth dried up. he felt as if he had just ran a marathon when really—

“can i get an americano, please?” he asked, his voice cracking embarrassingly as he avoided any and all eye contact with you.

jungwon was cute, really cute, and you looked forward to his weekly appearances in the cafe you worked at. he was truly one of the more attractive men you had seen walk into the cafe and his dimpled but awkward smile that he would give you nearly made you swoon. you chuckled at his nervous expression before putting his order into the system.

“anything for my favorite customer.” you winked before turning around to get started on his drink. you weren’t sure where the confidence came from— maybe it was due to being so tired of missing your chance with a guy that was totally your type. you only lived once, might as well take advantage of any opportunity that arose. and besides, jungwon was really cute and you wanted to meet him outside of work.

once you were finished making jungwon’s americano, you scribbled down a quick note and attached it to the bottom of the cup. you called his name and mumbled out a ‘have a nice day’ before walking away to clean up the counter.

jungwon tried to speak up, but the words he wanted to say got caught in his throat as he watched you quickly scurry away. the boy sighed to himself as he picked up his drink. before he could fully leave the cafe, he noticed a bright pink sticky note attached to the bottom.

‘meet me sometime? ;) xxx-xxx-xxxx’

jungwon smiled like an idiot when he read the note, looking back at you to noticed that you were already smiling at him.

‘i’ll call’ he mouthed toward you with a small smirk before slipping outside the cafe. you nearly squealed to yourself, trying to keep yourself composed as you took the next customer’s order.

[borderlinereminders]

Sometimes, we don’t have the option to get support. Whatever this reason, sometimes we have no choice but to manage our emotions on our own and that can be so scary. But it isn’t hopeless. I also try to manage my emotions on my own before reaching out for support. I reach out for support if needed, but trying to handle it myself first is important to me for a lot of reasons.

If you’re having to deal with some big emotions on your own, or a spiral. That’s okay. You can do this.

Usually when I’m struggling with feelings, the first thing I begin struggling with is having harmful urges. Sometimes these urges are to lash out, hurt myself, self sabotage or any number of things. The first thing I do is focus on my Urge Surfing skill. Here’s a link to my post on that. But if you’re not up to it just now, it’s basically a skill that helps you “ride the wave” of an urge until it passes.

If I’m in a panicked or otherwise heightened state that requires me calming down, I’ll likely focus on grounding techniques. These are things I can do that will help ground me so I can think more clearly.

What I do next depends on what the circumstances are. If I’m spiralling but I know it’s temporary and will likely pass on its own (this does happen to me! Sometimes a spiral is just me being overly tired or over stimulated and I sleep it off) then I focus on skills that involve distracting myself. This might mean using a skill like ACCEPTS. The goal for me is to focus on something else so I don’t continue to spiral or cave to the things I want to do because of the spiral.

Sometimes the circumstances are something I work on. If I’m really upset because I’m feeling insecure about a loved one, I might challenge my irrational thinking. Here is my post on challenging irrational thoughts. I might look at screenshots or reminders that they love me. Maybe I’m being really negative about myself, in which case I would also challenge my irrational thoughts. When it comes to this sort of thing, I also Check the Facts. While feelings are valid, sometimes it’s our interpretation of something that is making things worse and we can work on that.

One of the things I usually end up working on is Radical Acceptance. This is when we accept our feelings, even the negative ones without shutting them down. While sometimes we need to shut them down temporarily to get through a circumstance like work or something else, trying to just shove them down all the time is unlikely to work and often leads to a blow up.

It’s okay if some of my skills don’t work for you. My basic concept is that I figure out whether I need to distract myself, or try and sort through the feeling. There are a lot of skills or techniques that can be substituted. There are just the ones that work for me. You aren’t a failure if they aren’t for you. We’re all different! Here’s my post on DBT skills!

I will say that one of the most important things that helps me the most is the steps I take to be prepared for an emotional crisis. Here is my post on that. Being prepared in advance makes it a lot easier when the crisis happens.

Whatever the case, you can get through this. A lack of emotional permanence can make things hard. And when it’s hard, sometimes it feels like that’s all there is. Nothing exists outside of the bad feelings. But there is so much more. And this will pass. It always does. These feelings are temporary visitors and they won’t stay forever.

[kumabeom]

saudade love 🫧

seventeen : i can do it with a broken heart

synopsis : actress!yn and actor!soobin are forced by their companies to date as a publicity stunt to promote their latest releases. however what’s to happen when yn and soobin spend more and more time together even though yn’s closest friend is keeping secrets.

my sweet love, yn, how i love you oh so very much. how i wish to wake up to your warmth every day. every single day is so worth living, because im able to see you everyday. how you melt away all my problems with your warmth that is stronger than the sun. how you pull me into a hug and i can automatically feel your radiant heat. i feel like im in heaven when i am in your arms.

it’s not that i want you, which i do, but it’s that i need you.

you’re the joy in my life. the reason that im able to go to sleep and wake up without a singular worry in my mind.

but sometimes you’re the reason for my sleepless nights.

the nights that i spend thinking about you. thinking about what we can do together on an adventure with each other.

we’ve spent so much time together, originally it was something i didn’t want. something that you didn’t want. because we both thought we would ruin our lives by going with what our hearts wanted. was it so wrong to love the person i worked with? what if the company found out and they were unhappy with our decision? would be forced to break up?

relationships, all relationships are full of questions. the future is full of questions. at times you’ll question to yourself if you even feel happy with me by your side.

and i won’t be upset if you one day decide to leave my side, why would i be? your future is yours and my future is mine. but for my future, i always want to see you happy. if it’s with me or not.

this all sounds like im trying to part ways with you, but im not. of course not. not when you’re the person i love the most in the world.

when you’re the person who keeps me going. the person who i can always go to when things are not going so well.

my love.

you will always be my love. want to spend every moment with you. want to cherish your love. want to bathe in your warmth.

it’s all so selfish.

to want you. to need you.

but i can’t deny it any longer.

you’re my true one and only.

i know it. and i don’t have any doubts about it.

how can someone like you not be my one and only.

and you’re so unique, i’ll never find anyone in the world like you, yn.

all i need.. is you.

i’m reminded of your love every morning that i wake up and see the flowers that you get me on my desk, fully basking in the sunlight. the second i wake up and there’s a good morning message as soon as i open my phone. when you burst into my room right after i respond, and we just cuddle in bed for a while.

you always wondered why i used to comfort you so much when your alleged scandals were reported by the media..

yn, i always did that.. i always wanted to be by your side because i felt like you didn’t deserve the amount of negative attention you were getting. false accusations, lies, they have the power to ruin you, to ruin everything.

yn, i really love you. i always will.

i promise to you that i’ll always be by your side. i’ll always be the person you can turn to when you need a hug, or when you’re having a bad day. i’ll be that person. i want you to be happy. i promise to make you happy. to continue all the loving acts that i hope are enough to make you feel loved.

i promise myself to you, yn.

oh it was so ironic. the way soobin was now remembering his little ‘speech’ that he was going to use. a red velvet box in his pocket, special necklace inside of it. soobin made it back into your shared apartment, he knew you weren’t there, probably off with yeonjun, already moving on from him.

soobin didn’t want to let his mind wander on you too much. he didn’t want to feel pain from your departure, he was the one who brought it up, and you were the one who betrayed him. he didn’t even try to give himself a chance to miss him, no because why would he miss the person who hurt him so so much.

he placed the box on the coffee table. sitting himself on the couch, the same couch that he had spent with you, the first time that the two of you watched ‘10 things i hate about you’ together. fuck. he hasn’t meant to reminisce on his memories with you. he quickly got up from the couch, entering the restroom, washing off his makeup to remove the icky feeling of it.

you, on the other hand, were also not doing so well. yes, you had turned to yeonjun for help, but it wasn’t anything that wasn’t out of the ordinary. the two of you were friends, and only friends. you knew that and he knew that, the two of you had been friends for so so long that it nearly felt like you were siblings.

you laid your head back, hitting yeonjun’s couch, no matter how many times he asked you to sleep in his bed, you always declined. a thin yet soft blanket covered your body, as much as yeonjun wanted to offer you comfort, you told him that you would rather just go to sleep. yeonjun was smarter than to fall for your bluff, he walked into the dark room, laying down on his loveseat and covering himself with the blanket that he dragged from his room.

your staring contest with the ceiling ended, turning on your side to face yeonjun.

“isn’t it crazy..?” yeonjun speaks up, a tiny smirk on his face, not that you could even see it, it was nearly pitch black. the only reason you even noticed he was walking in the room was because of the very small creak in the floor.

“what is ?” you questioned, yeonjun couldn’t help but sit up, hoping to get a few words out of you.

“i don’t know.. i was just hoping you would spill what happened…”

“you know you could’ve just asked..” you felt your silk pajamas, a pair that you always left at yeonjun’s place in the case of an emergency movie night, beginning to stick to you as you began to feel a little warm. typically when you had a serious deep conversation with yeonjun, you always got nervous, that feeling always occurred because you knew you would have a break down due to whatever the topic was that you would feel so sad.

“what’s wrong, yn? what happened between you and soobin.” yeonjun questioned, taking your advice to ask you straightforwardly, even though you had rejected his request a few hours ago.

“i think.. well i kinda know, i know that yeji set us up.. remember when i said that yeji told me that you needed me..” yeonjun hummed in response, remembering the situation clearly. “well.. you didn’t.. but she took the chance to spew whatever nonsense to soobin.. and at first i kinda understood that maybe whatever she said might’ve gotten to his head.. he was saying that he knows that you and i are a thing, and i turned it down.. and i wanted to be so so patient, but i couldn’t. and at one point i just kind of gave up, i just got really mad and i told him that if he wanted to end our whole relationship then he could’ve just said so.. and then he did..” you felt your eyes beginning to sting, a small sigh leaving your lips after you finished.

“and i don’t know if he really did want to end it, i don’t know if i was maybe being too harsh, or if maybe he just believed whatever yeji told him.. but i also think that, why would he believe yeji.. yeji who had always seemed to know where we were, the same yeji who barged into his trailer that one day, yeji who has been spreading fake rumors about me..”

yeonjun felt his heart drop, he wasn’t sure if what you had been saying was true or if you were just saying something due to your anger. “yn, what do you mean?”

“yeonjun… isn’t it so obvious that it’s yeji..? all of this started when i got with soobin, when we announced our relationship..”

“yn, that doesn’t mean anything, surely you’ve just got things mixed up.. yeji is our bestfriend and i’m nearly sure that she wouldn’t be spreading fake rumors about you..”

“yeonjun.. i get it, but she told soobin something, she’s capable of anything.. she’s not my bestfriend.. not anymore.. not after what she just did. and my whole situation with soobin, she 100% orchestrated that.. there’s no doubt about it at all.” yeonjun sighed, he agreed with you for the most part, except for this whole yeji rumor situation. originally yeonjun was going to tell you that yeji wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, so why would she spread false rumors, but to be honest, he was also certain that soobin was misled by yeji. it didn’t mean that yeonjun felt bad for soobin, afterall he did watch as you internally struggled; attempting to deal with the heartbreak without letting a smile leave your face until yeonjun dragged you to his place.

“yeonjun.” you whispered, he could hear your voice beginning to tremble, this was the beginning. the beginning of your heartbreak, the first few signs that you were truly going through something. the questions placed in your head, the doubts, the worry.. yeonjun hummed once again, letting you know that he was still listening. “we are just friends right ? we’ve never done anything that is weird or inappropriate in stance of our friendship..”

“yn, we are not the problem. you are not the problem. there is nothing we have ever done to seem like we are even remotely interested in each other in a romantic way. if soobin wants to project his insecurities he can. but yn, you’re like a sister to me and i don’t want to ruin our bond because soobin and yeji decided to play games and mess around.” yeonjun was right. the two of you had multiple of boundaries to ensure a sibling like relationship that wouldn’t hurt anyone. neither you or him. you’ve never had feeling for yeonjun.

you hadn’t ever seen him in that kind of light, yeonjun had a moment where he questioned his friendship with you, but that time he realized that you were more than just his friend, rather you were like his sister.

you pulled up the blanket up to your chin. “thank you, jun.. thanks for letting me stay.. and for getting me out of the party, and thanks for always listening to me..”

yeonjun let out an exasperated sigh, “to think he wanted to replace me, but he can’t even listen to you, it’s what i do best.. i literally majored in psychology.”

“.. no you didn’t..” you responded, small giggle leaving your lips as you heard yeonjun’s white lie. that was the reaction he wanted, he wanted to hear you laugh, he didn’t want to see you going through such a rough heartbreak. he knew you had to at some point during your life, but he wanted to help alleviate the sadness you would go through.

you found yourself exactly in the situation that you wanted to avoid. heart throbbing as if it was about to explode, shaky breath. you were sitting next to soobin, on your way to a joint photoshoot. you were nearly 100 percent sure that your staff could sense something was wrong, the lack of affection the two of you were having. not to mention the complete silence in the long car ride. the staff caught on as soon as they saw your bloodshot eyes, soobin’s hand not trying to find its way into yours, even when the two of you were exhausted, you always found away to still show each other love. oh something was definitely wrong with you two.

you weren’t sure if it was the tickle from the brush that was touching up against your cheek, or if it was genuinely the stinging in your heart that was making your eyes water. a tiny tear rolling down your cheek, and soobin saw it from across the room, his hands in the pockets of the suit he was wearing, the same suit he wore on the saudade love movie night. and unfortunately your were wearing the same blue dress that caused your itchy reaction that night.

“oh yn!” the mention of your name brought your attention back to the entire scene, suddenly feeling the wet tear on your cheek as more threatened to spill. your makeup artist rushing to grab a fan, blowing the air into your face, catching you a bit off guard. the tear dissipated, your artist rushing to fix any mistakes that were made. “are you okay? you’ve been out of it this entire time..” you just nodded in response, a tiny reaffirming smile appearing on your lips before leaving nearly immediately. “it’s not the dress, is it? i told the stylists and the company to not force you into it again, but you know how they get..”

“n-no, the dress is okay for now. i think it’s just good to be quick about this shoot..” and just by the sound of your voice anybody could tell that you wanted to cry. your red eyes had also been a bit of a sign that you had been crying, but nobody really wanted to comment on it, afterall the editors would find a way to make you look fine.

“you’re all set !” you whispered a quick thank you, walking over to the white screen, no color anywhere in the room. soobin quickly joined your side, pretending to help you with your dress, spreading it out beautifully.

“can you maybe not?” you whispered, trying your best to keep up a good look. pretending to smile with pure joy at soobin.

“do you have a better idea? we’re dating and as much as i hate to be doing this stuff, i’d like to keep it professional..” soobin kept a clear face, trying his best not to show any emotions. he was upset, the way his narrative was working, the fact that you had the nerve to be the one who seemed so upset.

by the end of the shoot, you were nearly so sure that you were going to have a breakdown any second. furrowed eyebrows as you walked into a closet, finding only yourself and your clothes in there. although you found yourself suddenly pressing your ear against the locked door, hearing your name mentioned.

“was it just me? or did it look like soobin and yn were so.. i don’t know.. but something definitely happened. soobin was like upset the entire time and yn looked like she was about to cry every other second..”

“you don’t think they broke up? do you?” another voice chimed in.

“i don’t know, but as actors, theyre not that good at acting…”

“girl, if you broke up with your lover would you be okay? if you would be then that’s kinda crazy, but either way, somethings you can’t just pretend you’re okay.”

“all i’m saying is that, they’re in a fake relationship either way so it shouldn’t be that bad..”

“fake relationship? you believed that?”

“of course i do, love is one of those things that you can’t act about, and they don’t do a good job ‘loving’ each other.”

“please, honestly i just think you’re jealous.” you finished listening in on the conversation, changing into your clothes, deciding to fully dedicate your job and put your emotions aside. you stepped out from the changing room, accidentally scaring the staff crew that were walking down the hallway. suddenly keeping they seemed uptight, although you just shared a genuine smile with them.

“thank you so much for your hard work..” you gave them a small yet sweet bow, moving past them and attempting to find soobin, noticing him with your manager. you practically skipped your way towards him, your hand immediately finding his, soobin swore that he must’ve missed out on a whole episode of some kind of drama.. why had you been acting like you were actually happy with him..? like you were still dating, i mean you were, just not in the sense that the two of you used to be. your hand in his, his hand held in both of your hands. your manager, kept talking to soobin before deciding to give the two of you some space.

“can you let go, your hands are clammy..” soobin spoke up, before being met with pure rejection.

“no, i cant.. everybody is catching on..” you replied in a dull tone..

©️kumabeom

taglist (send asks !) : @run2seob @soobadooba @mrsyawnzzn @matcha-binz @taehyhunnzly @20crowsinahoodie @lun4kazumii @lunathewritingcat @wonjws @yourenzoo @missychief1404 @304blur @coconutjjun @theycallmelolla @natokkiz @everythingvirgoes @pinkhor1zon @nshitae @damn-u-min-yoongi @jiweok @wonderstrucktae @thing89 @pagetammgyu @virgo-and-libra @blossommi @cheekycountesschoi @taysfairies @20-cms @soobiluvr1205 @bloomngspring @thyunzzn @heeseungspookie

[missmarveledsblog]

In love with its fate series and the oneshots can you do a hc or oneshot of how bradley proposed also nicknaming her sunny genius cause hes rooster and shes sunshine 😭😭😭💓💓

of course i will i touched on it lightly in Brooster but here's the full story of how brooster propose to the future mrs sunny bradshaw.

Soon to be Mrs Brooster

summary : rooster finally plans to put a ring on sunny's finger

warning : tooth rotten fluff , rooster being a simp

He was waiting for this , probably since the first moment he actually met her , talked to her.  He was ready to ask the moment their first date was ended but he bided his time much to everyone surprise bradley lasted two years before he was doing what they honestly thought was going to happen much sooner . a week back from their trip from visiting her parents and getting one of the most important yes which was their permission to ask her to be his. To finally make y/n “ sunny “ seresin his soon to be wife ( officially ) .  he couldn’t imagine his life not having this woman in his life from her laugh to her putting him and jake in their place ( he wouldn’t be surprised if mav had her on speed dial ) .  He went through so many ways to do it from writing it in the sky ,  on the beach as they flown above to even doing it in the hard deck randomly but none of that felt much right so he decided to bring it back to the first date , that night was something he would never forget he really pulled out all the stops and never stopped but that night was one both his and her favourites .  thanksgiving had just ended and christmas was now the next one , he could wait til then but he was sure he would explode if he was to do so . He had all hands on deck , from jake help as much as he love to annoy rooster he would help with anything he knew would make his little sister happy  even if that was actually rooster. 

The coming day bradley  was practising what to say wondering what would sound best but nothing was fitting , nothing stood out . then trying to get everything like it was that night felt impossible  the lights and candles seemed to needing to be replaced but yet out of stock giving christmas was the next approaching holiday . it was like everything was against the whole idea even jake was going out of his way to get what was needed. It wasn’t til the day before when nat and bob ran into the hangar panting and sweating holding boxes and bags in their hands . 

“ we got them , well nat got them , she almost beat up an old lady “ bob gulp when she glared at him. 

“ you’re welcome bradshaw also name that first born after me and we call it even”  she shrugged ignoring the look of slight fear and impressed that pete michell was giving her . 

“ not up to me but i’ll let sunny know … well if she says yes .. shit what if she doesn’t say yes” he went to from happy to panicking  in a spilt second all the nerves hitting in the one second making him to want to explode and every fear coming to the surface .  irrational fear not that he could see how much his love is returned  or how she was  just as crazy about him , no sense or reason could reach this man in the spiral of what if that spun around his head .   the face of fear and everything that was neighbouring on his face as the dagger squad offered reassurance . It was like something between the chaos and the signs of the universe  or grace of god that sunny walked into the door holding something as simple as his lunch and moment she saw him distressed and upset even not having a clue what was really going on, yet she ran to his side instantly hands on each cheek , she was speaking barely register til he saw the worry and concern all over her face .  pure love  in her eyes grounding him , melting every  bad negative feelings like a universal fate filled sign this was meant to be.  Feeling himself come back to his senses just by her touch not that it need to be said but he was truly and completely in love with this woman . 

“ brooster baby you  ok ?” her voice that sweet sugar sweet voice hitting his ears making him feel like he could breathe again .   

“ yeah it i’m ok just tough week is all “ a smile on his face he wasn’t completely lying he staying up a bit later  making sure everything would be perfect . 

“ why don’t you take rest of day off , we don’t have much to do today “ Mav smiled softly , he always did in a sense they were so similar to carole and nick in the way they were so taken with each other but yet so different in a way too. 

“ thank you pete , i’ll make sure he gets some rest “ she beamed not even waiting for her man to respond even when she threw his keys to nat . almost pulling him out of the bunker not taking any excuse that was bound to come out of his mouth nope she was not having it that’s for sure  not that he could , as much as he would work to the bone to make sure she was ok he did enjoy when she would look after him too something he had to get used to since most women before were so different  not that it was bad but it wasn’t like this . 

The day before the engagement maybe was something he needed that sort of reset and refresh now that he was looking back. But it also just made him want to do it more , it gave him the perfect idea’s that were staring him back in the face . as he sat in their shared space , their home . her little knick knacks that placed around the place , little cushions and pieces that made it a home. Something he thought he made it a home but clearly it was not like that until she came along and showed him how much of a home this house could be .   things that brighten up the area sort of like a representation of how she brightened up his life.   She busied herself while he was sitting eating the lunch she warmed up for him then once he was finished she led him up to the bathroom  only for him to see the bathroom covered in the scented candles , the scents of lavender and chamomile that hit his nose , a kiss on his cheek placing the beer on the side of the tub and heading off once more leaving him pouting that she wasn’t going to be joining him .  when he was out , clean and relaxed in every sense to see his pyjamas that he only ever wore as sort of lounge clothes .  only coming down to the living room more and more each thing she was doing was making it easier and easier for what he would do the next day .  eating dinner watching his comfort movies and comfort foods little things to put his overworked brain to rest. 

That morning rooster woke knew lease of life , knowing what he wanted to do and how to make it perfect for his girl. Letting her sleep he crept from the bed slowly got dressed headed to the cafe the one where the first properly talked got to know each other  . getting her a coffee and alongside her favourite pastry then he got breakfast on way home with her favourite flowers . waking her up with kisses all over her face looking down at  the smile on her sleepy face was something that always made his day better , if he woke in a foul mood all he would need to rectify that was seeing her smile . Then they went to the beach  like it was just a normal day but he knew it wasn’t , the dagger squad. Then for lunch he brought her to her favourite place seeing her excitement was always a highlight in his week. Then at home again like normalish  day maybe the fact he was spoiling her a little extra was there but he would shrug it off and say she deserved it  or when he told her they had a surprise date to which she excitedly expressed she got to wear the new dress she gotten the other day with nat for, one he got nat to bring her own  .  every single time she would leave him lost for words but then again it could be a potato sack and she would look the most beautiful woman to ever walk gods green earth.  

That night was like so many date only more special since it was the very restaurant they went to for their first date. She told him of her christmas plans for her kindergarteners all the fun and magic she wanted to give them before they were off for christmas as well as some plans for their own christmas like going to virginia so bradley could see his parents .

“ we can go texas for christmas “ he shrugged it  off. 

“ nah i already told my mama she got us for thanksgiving  , ok i may of booked the rental house which jake paid for  and  i will get our food in advance and have it brought with us “ she beamed. “ least this time you won’t be alone when you go and you get to spend christmas with your folks in a way “ she kissed his hand holding it close. 

“ you would spend your christmas in a graveyard just so i could have christmas with my parents?”. 

“ brooster radley bradley  i would spend christmas  in a dive bar in middle of nowhere if it was something you wanted but it not that it’s spending time with people you love whatever shape or form which is more important “ she giggled . 

“ i wish they got you meet you because jesus christ baby you are most perfect woman i’ve ever met you know that” he smiled feeling his eyes misty and lump in his throat , 

“ i wish i could of met em too , thank them for bringing such a handsome , funny man like you into the world , oh  it was suppose to be a surprise so can’t tell jake i told you apparently your not allowed to know he likes you” she shook her head wiping the few tears falling down his face  not knowing more would come then once dinner was done they headed to what she thought was the hard deck to finish the night off .  only for him to  to bring her near the entrance again tricking her then moving to toward the beach that sat behind .   the light and candle seemed even more magical she couldn’t place her finger on why but it was even more fairytale like than that night .   the add rose petal that place everywhere leading them to the sand except this time it wasn’t a speaker that await for them but a live music . he may of pulled a favor or two getting couple of people he knew could play their favourite songs .  it something she would of never experience in her life and yet with brooster radly bradley bradshaw he made those things possible .  the moonlight high in the sky hitting the water so beautifully . he held his hand out to her sway  wanting to capture the way she looked in that very moment burn the image into his mind for the rest of his life , the sound of her laugh when he twirl her around . this was it  granted he had both knees on the ground fixing himself and the confused on her face then the realisation when he pulled the ring out.

“ baby i can’t imagine what i did in this life to even begin to figure out how i got  lucky to get a girl like you in my life , ever since i was a little boy my mom told me of  soul mates , how i was going to find the woman of my dreams  and i would be so in love and i thought she finally was going off her rocker than i started seeing this absolutely breathtaking beauty everywhere and i was a goner and then i met her over coffee even though her brother warned me to stay away “ he chuckled and she shook her head but tear falling down her face . “ but i couldn’t not when i talked more and more with this beautiful way out of my league kindergarten teacher who just make the world so much better and brighter by being in it the love i have for you is the love my mom told me about all those years , the one that finally made me think i deserve love , one that without even thinking would spend her day to make me feel better or is willing to spend her christmas in a grave yard just so i can see my parents. Baby there is and never will be anyone in this world that i would or could spend the rest of my life with  than you and i don’t know how i waited so  long to do this but please would you do me the honor and marry me ?” he voice cracked looking up to see her tear filled face and smile so wide. 

“ yess i will marry you bradley radley brooster “ letting him place the ring on her finger what he didn’t expect was her to dive on him there and then excitedly on the sand kissing all over his face . “ i love you so much “ was all she could get out of her mouth before his lips crashed into hers .   he said it from day one she was going to be the future misses bradshaw and she always hope she would be mrs bradley radley  brooster .

[brekwrites]

This is why we can’t have nice things, y’all. I’ll never understand why people can’t just do their own thing instead of shitting on others. Some of the behavior I’ve seen in my time here is absolutely atrocious. In general, people seem to think it’s okay to come into another person’s space and go “I hate that, actually, and I hate you too” instead of fucking off and minding their business. It’s wild.

Kat, I hope you’re doing okay and you can find more time for projects that bring you joy. Please know that the people in this fandom who love and appreciate the work you’ve done to bring these characters and their story to life far outnumber the idiots in your inbox. Do what you need to do for your mental health, and fuck everyone else.

In general, all the negativity is getting old. I’m here to have fun. If you’re here to be rude and spread hate, you can unfollow/block me, because I don’t want to deal with your shit.

I'm Done Writing For LAE

I've written for LAE for a while now, even when I have 3 other jobs and not a lot of time to dedicate to it. But apparently all that time and effort I put in just isn't good enough.

Every time I open Tumblr, read the YouTube comments, scroll through TikTok, and sometimes even on the TSBS fan discord, I'm welcomed by people saying how shit my writing is, how shit my characters are, or how much they dislike xyz.

This isn't me wanting sympathy, or to guilt trip you. Though I'm fully expecting people to say I am. I just want to let you know; I'm done. I'm not writing any more episodes or interacting with the community in any way. I've tried. It's clearly not good for my mental health. So I'm done.

This isn't me saying I'm done voice acting or anything, I'm still going to be Earth/Pollux/Dazzle, I just won't be writing what will be happening to them anymore.

I put my heart and soul into these characters and their stories, but apparently that's just another way to get hurt.

If you have questions about TSBS, don't send them to me. I'll only answer/interact with questions/posts about my own series/channel.

[suempu]

Hello, I love your writing!! For a Kabru prompt, how about casually telling him one day that his eyes remind them of a blue sky, and it cheers them up on cloudy days? He has so many negative thoughts associated with his eyes, he deserves to see them in a sweeter way. I hope this request works, thanks!

i love soft kabru i love him. thank you for the request !

set in post canon

<3

kabru drops into a chair with a sigh, head leaning back as he runs a hand all over his face.

locking the bedroom door before trailing behind him, you chuckle before caressing his shoulders. “oh, how they’ve worked you to the bone, my dear advisor.” you stand behind him, fingers trailing up towards his cheeks before massaging it.

blue eyes meet yours as he nuzzles into your palms, reaching towards your hand to hold it closer to his face. “i’m exhausted.”

you smile at him in concern. so rarely does he show how tired he can become, how affected he is by the troubles of life. you’re happy that he feels so comfortable with you to show his vulnerable side.

taking a deep breath, you retreat from his hold to find a seat in his lap. brushing the hair back from his forehead, you press a gentle kiss to his jaw. “whenever i’m feeling down… do you know who pops into my mind?”

“it can’t be me, can’t it?” kabru laughs tiredly, head lolling against the chair’s cushion.

letting out a dramatic gasp before putting a palm over your mouth, you let out a wail. “what a mind reader! it’s actually laios.”

he rolls his eyes before pinching your side, making you shriek. kabru laughs and rub at the spot in apology.

“it seems that the advisor has regained his energy.” you grumble out as you’re embraced into his chest with an arm around your waist. kabru kisses your cheek inbetween chuckles, cooing into your ear.

you huff before settling into the space where his neck met his shoulders.

“it’s you, obviously.” you murmur quietly. “its always you… you and those dumb eyes of yours. you and your stupid, pretty face. and that nice voice...”

”you think my eyes are—“

”beautiful…” you cut him off with a grin. “and so fucking bright.” his mouth clamps shut, looking contemplatively. “they remind me… of a clear sky. a saturated blue, devoid of clouds… the kind you see in spring, with flowers in a field.” your voice is quiet, almost embarrassed by what you’re saying.

”It helps my mind declutter whenever i’m feeling overwhelmed or heavy.” kabru looks shocked and flustered, unconsciously holding you tighter. “it’s a reminder… that no matter how tough a situation looks… i’ll have you.”

he sucks in a breath, pressing his cheek into your temple. the fact that something as small and simple as his eyes could bring you such comfort and reassurance. he wonders why it’s so easy for you to crawl into his chest and find a home in his heart.

kabru is rarely speechless. but when he opens his mouth, so desperately wanting to say something in reply— he can’t make out any words. can’t rearrange all his emotions into a coherent sentence. his being is filled with you. filled with an immense wave of affection and peace, gratification, love, comfortability. all of himself… was you.

he stammers, a few bouts of breaths leaving his mouth before your hand comes up to tilt his chin, mouth stretched upwards in reassurance.

kabru responds with a smile of his own, bright blue eyes glassy when you curl into his form, inching deeper into his heart.

[my-shields-are-down]

honest question— why do you constantly feel the need to be so negative?

not only are your statements factually incorrect

a) alexi hawley stated in interviews that chenford would never get together when they were still rookie and to. which is true. and there’s documented proof that this is in fact what he actually said

b) alexi has been the head writer on most of chenford’s most poignant episodes. he doesn’t hate the ship. he was instrumental in creating it

but they’re also just completely unnecessary. there is absolutely no reason to rain on a new viewer’s enjoyment. you are entitled to your feelings, but spreading this bitterness and negativity has gotten so old

######

OOOOOH! Anonymous hate! How cool is this?! Now I know I’ve really made it! (I’m being sarcastic)

I’ve been a member of Tumblr since the love fern started growing in the Arrowcave during S1 of ARROW .

I write fan fiction, express my opinion on COVID, masks, Kanthony, the raging tangerine, theoretical mathematics, physics, weather patterns, storms, babies, my knowledge of the business side of show business, and Chenford among other topics. This is my blog and I’ll rage if I want to. I’ll go back to cheering and being happy and giddy, when I see something onscreen that elicits those emotions.

MY OPINION .

All I’ll say about Chenford is this: Chenford is FAN created. Alexi may write the episodes, but the fans, the writers and the actors had to bully him into doing so. Their romance was NOT his idea.

https://www.tumblr.com/my-shields-are-down/696147306017341440/northern-neighbor-here-we-go-fans-heard-by

I share my opinion because I can. Last I checked, Tumblr isn’t an “only happy, delulu, rah rah opinions welcome here.” I’ll be negative if I’m feeling negative,

I HATED the majority of S6. The break up, the stupid ass “small doses” revert back to S1 story line, the undercurrents of chaos, the darkness, Lucy’s heartbreak., Tim’s plummet into despair and self-sabotage, etc. All of which as you pointed out were written by Alexi. Fucking HATE that guy. I don’t want to watch a slow burn AGAIN. Been there done that.

—————

If you don’t like what I have to say, then block me - and you’ll never have to experience my negativity again.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy. 🍋

————

I hope S7 is everything you want it to be.

Good luck to you.

[senditcolton]

I got my summer romance Tyson and now I get my winter romance Tyson?? How am I so BLESSED!?!?! LAUREN!! I'm so excited to get into this one!

(once again, in-depth screaming below)

AND THE REASON IS YOUUUUUUUU!!! AND THE REASON IS YOUUUUUUU!!

Lauren, once again, you and I being on the same wave-length as far as music taste

Awwww, Lucy’s mom so ready to look out for her!! They don’t even know Tyson is there yet!

Loving her independence – Lucy and I are kindred spirits. (but also that indepence might have been the cause of some issues…)

Her immediately breaking the cookie apart to give part of it to Tyson!!!

“He knew that? Did he ask? Or did Jim just tell him?” I have a feeling that he asked Lucy but I’ll let you figure that out for yourself

“He remembered? After all this time?” Lucy… come on, it’s right in front of you… HE’S right in front of you

“It sounds like everything was worth it for you” TYSON NO DON’T BE BREAKING MY HEART ALREADY

Drunk Tyson just saying the things that have been on his mind is a double-edged sword

Positive: him telling Lucy how pretty and how awesome she is

Negative: him getting into his own insecurities and talking down about himself

YOU’RE TOO GOOD FOR ME – TYSON NO!!

“I can barely get a team to keep me and you’re soaring ahead” LAUREN THIS WAS CRUEL AND UNUSAL (said with the utmost affection) I JUST WANT WHAT’S BEST FOR HIM – and apparently so does Lucy!!

“Because neither of them were each other’s first choice” OUCH!! MY HEART!!

“If I could go back and change it all, I would. I’d choose you. I’d always choose you.” ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAVORITE TROPES THAT WASN’T EVEN ON THIS YEAR’S BINO BOARD?! MIND READER!!

“Well I could never accuse Tyson of being subtle” – fair enough

Lucy’s mom also being like, “honey, the answer is right in front of you, come on.”

YOU CAN HAVE BOTH!!!

Grandpa Jost knowing to walk back in the house and let them have their moment!

“There is no world in which you would be too late” I AM MELTING LIKE A PILE OF SNOW IN THE SUN

THIS WAS WONDERFUL!! You brought in ALL the emotions like you ALWAYS do!! I was sad and then heartbroken and then happy and relieved and AAAAAAHHHH!!

I loved it. I loved it! Just... AAAAH!!

A reason to start over new - T. Jost

Summary: It’s been five years since Lucy has seen her ex-boyfriend Tyson. Can his grandparents’ Christmas party fix their broken hearts?

Happy birthday @senditcolton! This is my fic for your birthday bingo – I had a lot of fun with this one! I chose The Hand Touch, Exes to Lovers, Free Space (Resolved Angst), “You’re Too Good for Me”, and Winter Romance, making it a full bingo! Hope you have a wonderful day Nicole.

A massive thank you to @jostyriggslover96 for reading through this!

Words: 3.3k

Warnings: angst, flashback to breakup, some bad language, self-deprecation.

Title from The Reason, by Hoobastank

~

I've found a reason for me, To change who I used to be, A reason to start over new, And the reason is you.

~

“Oh wow, Val and Jim have really outdone themselves this year, haven’t they?”

Lucy glanced around at the Christmas decorations surrounding them, smiling at her mom’s words.

“Full of holiday cheer, as always!” she nodded.

She took off her thick coat and gloves, glad to be out of the icy air, hanging them up on the rack put out for guests.

“Now honey, if it’s too much, you can slip out back and head home, okay?” her mom said seriously, albeit quietly.

“You said that last year. And the year before that. For the last five years, actually,” Lucy mused.

“And I’ve meant it every year. They might be our neighbours, but you are my baby. And my priority, always,” her mom said seriously.

Not for the first time, Lucy was thankful to have the mom she did.

“And I appreciate it. But I’m going to be fine,” she said, smiling fondly.

“Alright, if you’re sure. You just send me a sneaky text if you change your mind though, yes?”

“Yeah, thanks mom,” Lucy beamed.

The Christmas Eve Party thrown by her neighbours was a tradition she’d attended her entire life, and even though she hadn’t dated their grandson in half a decade, Val and John had always insisted that she still came along. A lingering effect of being childhood sweethearts, she supposed.

“Amy! Gary! Lucy!”

The welcome from their neighbours was warm and effervescent as it always was, and soon enough Lucy found herself swept in by conversation and catching up. She may have gone to college in UBC Okanagan in Kelowna for both her degrees, barely away from home, but she’d lived in campus residence for all four years of her bachelor’s degree and moved out of her parents’ house properly into a small apartment near campus for her master’s degree. It would’ve been easy to move home after guaranteed accommodation ended, but Lucy had wanted to keep the independence she had grown to love, and it wasn’t as if she didn’t visit her parents at least every other weekend.

But it was still nice to be able to talk about her accomplishments with the people that she’d grown up alongside, especially now that she was in the final year of her master’s degree and looking like she was on track for starting the PhD she’d always aimed for.

After a couple of hours, she escaped the crowds in the living and dining areas, grateful for the sanctuary of the kitchen. There were a few plates of cookies and other Christmas treats laid out, and Lucy couldn’t resist reaching out for a snickerdoodle…

…at the exact time as someone else.

She jumped in surprise as a large hand rested on top of hers, not realising anyone was next to her, but as she looked up, she couldn’t but to freeze despite the warmth of his touch. Tyson. It was Tyson’s hand touching hers.

“Oh fuck, I’m sorry, I…Lucy?”

“Hey Tys,” she managed to breathe.

The familiar curls, the big beautiful eyes, the sweet smile, and now a little bit of stubble? He looked good. Of course he looked good.

Tyson quickly drew his hand away from hers, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“Uh, you have it, I shouldn’t be eating baked goods too much anyway,” Tyson said, rubbing the back of his neck a little sheepishly.

Lucy pursed her lips and broke a third of the snickerdoodle off, handing it to Tyson with a raised eyebrow. Tyson huffed out a laugh but accepted the offered treat, sending her a small smile of thanks. Fuck, it may have been five years since they broke up, but he really hadn’t changed, had he?

“So, uh, you still come to these parties?” Tyson asked.

Lucy bit her bottom lip but nodded.

“Yeah, your grandparents insist. I hope that’s okay,” she winced.

“Of course it is,” Tyson said quickly, “They always loved you.”

Well that was something at least. Why did this feel so awkward? Sure, it had been five years since she’d seen Tyson, but they dated from eight years – surely they had more than this?

“I don’t usually come to these. Well, I guess you already know that, if you come every year. I, uh, I have the 24th to the 26th off this year, so I didn’t want to miss another Christmas with my grandparents,” Tyson explained.

“I bet Val and Jim were over the moon when you told them,” Lucy mused.

Tyson laughed softly, nodding. “They were. Mom and Kacey didn’t hesitate to come to Kelowna to join us, so it’s a big family Christmas this year.”

“That’s great, Tys. Really. Spending Christmas with your loved ones is important,” she said softly, smiling.

His smile dimmed a little, but he nodded.

“How’s, uh, how’s your degree going? Gramps said you’re doing a master’s now?”

He knew that? Did he ask? Or did Jim just tell him?

“Uh, yeah. I graduated my bachelor's degree magna cum laude back in 2020 and went straight into starting my graduate program there. I’m a paid teaching assistant for my supervisory professor too.”

“That’s incredible, Luce. Still doing Earth and Environmental Sciences?” Tyson prompted.

He remembered? After all this time?

“Yeah, yeah it is. Focusing in on environmental impact assessment for my master’s thesis,” she nodded, a little stunned, “I didn’t think…I didn’t think you’d remember.”

“Of course I remember. You were always so passionate about your studies – it was one of the things I loved most about you,” he said softly.

“Tyson…” Lucy said faintly, trailing off when no words would come.

He smiled sadly at her, shaking his head.

“Sounds like…it sounds like everything was worth it for you,” Tyson murmured.

~

2019

“So you can’t make it over?”

“No, Tys, I can’t, I have labs to do,” Lucy sighed.

“We haven’t seen each other in so long!”

“I can’t just not go to my classes because you want me in Denver! You know this!” she groaned.

“I know, I know, but it sucks.”

Lucy frowned, even though he couldn’t see her. “You’re the one who didn’t come home for Christmas, remember?”

“The schedule didn’t make sense, and I offered to fly you down?”

“Tyson!” she groaned.

He stayed silent on the other end of the phone, a silence that sent an ominous shiver down her spine.

“So where do we go from here?”

“W-What?” she said, confused at the dull tone of his voice.

“Your priority is college, my priority is hockey, and neither of us can compromise. I would never ask you to compromise, just like you wouldn’t ask me. We have different priorities, clearly. So where do we go from here?”

“Tyson, are you really saying what I think you’re saying?” she whimpered.

“Yeah, I think we should break up.”

“We’ve been together for eight years! You’re the only boyfriend I’ve ever had, the only guy I’ve ever wanted. And you want to break up, just like that?”

“I don’t want to break up, Luce. But what other option do we have? Neither of us can give the other what we need right now. We have to focus on ourselves, don’t we? For our own careers? You have so much ahead of you and I can’t be there to celebrate it. And you can’t be by my side cheering me on from the stands. I love you, Lucy. But this isn’t working anymore.”

~

“Tyson, why would you say it like that? You think it’s been easy for me?” Lucy asked, throat a little choked.

“No, no, of course not,” he groaned.

“Then what do you mean?”

“Look, forget I said anything, okay? It was really good to see you, Luce.”

Before Lucy could say a word, Tyson walked away, leaving her alone in the kitchen with her head spinning. What the hell was that?

For the final few hours of the party, Lucy indulged in a couple more glasses of wine than she intended, sticking solidly by her parents’ sides. She did her best to keep a smile on her face and ease into the Christmas festivity, even when Laura and Kacey said their hellos, but her mind just kept going back to Tyson.

“We’re going to start saying our goodbyes, okay honey? Why don’t you find all our coats.”

Lucy just nodded at her mom’s suggestion, grateful for the opportunity to escape the crowd. Well, she was grateful, until she saw Tyson sitting on the bench next to the coat rack, face flushed and eyes glassy. He was drunk, at least moderately so.

“Ah, fuck, I didn’t want you to see me like this,” he said, voice slurring.

What did he mean by that?

“I’m just getting our coats. We’re heading out,” she murmured, trying to ignore the whoosh in her stomach.

“Already?”

“It’s nearly midnight, Tys,” she said, smiling wryly.

“Well, fuck. Time flies when you’re having whiskey, I guess,” he groaned, putting his empty glass on the bench next to him.

She huffed out a laugh, unhooking the coats when she finally spotted them.

“You look good, Luce,” he murmured, looking up at her through his eyelashes.

“I do?” she blurted.

Damn it.

But Tyson just grinned. “Yeah, you really do. You always looked good, but damn you’ve really settled into your own skin, eh?”

“I love who I am, yeah,” she nodded.

She wasn’t lying, or even placating. Her studies in environmental impact had opened up a whole new side of her she hadn’t even realised was there, and she loved everything about the person she’d become through it. She just hadn’t realised it was obvious on the outside.

Then again, if anyone was going to notice something like that about her, it was going to be Tyson, wasn’t it?

“You’re too good for me.”

Oh fuck.

“That’s not true. Not even slightly,” Lucy said, frowning.

“No? I can barely get a team to keep me, and you’re soaring ahead with your academic career, just like you deserve,” Tyson scoffed.

This was just the alcohol talking. It had to be.

“Tys, those teams are the ones missing out. You’re amazing,” she said softly.

He paused for a moment, before shaking his head.

“If I’m so amazing, why did we break up?”

Because he had to put hockey first.

Because she had to put college first.

Because neither of them were each other’s first choice.

“That’s not fair, Tyson. We were kids when we first started dating. Barely 13 years old. And we were together for eight years! We had an incredible relationship! It just…we wanted different things. Our priorities were different, our passions were different – we might have grown up together, but we’d also grown apart. Your life is hockey and my life is academics, and that’s okay! That doesn’t mean we didn’t have love, yeah?”

The way that Tyson’s eyes filled up with tears made her own eyes water, dangerous lump rising in her throat.

“If I could go back and change it all, I would. I’d choose you. I’d always choose you.”

His soft words tore a sob from her throat and she shook her head. How could he be so cruel?

“Don’t say that. We made the right decision five years ago and you know it,” she whimpered.

Tyson’s face fell at her devastated expression, and he staggered to his feet.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry,” he said sadly.

And yet here she was, broken hearted all over again.

“I should go. I need to go,” was all she could manage to choke out.

“Lucy, baby, please…”

But Lucy just shook her head, clutching the coats in her hands, shaky smile on her lips as the tears finally fell. “Merry Christmas, Tyson.”

~

“So what happened at the Christmas Eve Party that has you all torn up like this?”

Lucy flinched at her mom’s voice, turning her head to see her standing in the doorway to her bedroom.

“Nothing,” she said quickly.

“Uh huh, and I’m a fairy princess,” her mom snorted.

Lucy couldn’t help but giggle, earning a fond smile as her mom walked into the room and sat down next to her on her bed. Lucy placed a bookmark in the book she’d been reading to give her mom her full attention. She’d needed a little respite from all the preparations to hold her dad’s family for a late lunch, after all the intensity of having her mom’s family over yesterday on Christmas Day, but she’d found herself reliving her conversation with Tyson over and over.

“Sounds like…it sounds like everything was worth it for you.”

“You’re too good for me.”

“If I’m so amazing, why did we break up?”

“If I could go back and change it all, I would. I’d choose you. I’d always choose you.”

So really, her mom coming up to talk to her was a welcome break from all of that as well.

“If you know it was the Christmas Eve Party then you can take a guess,” Lucy said, shrugging.

“I’d rather hear it from you, when Tyson’s involved,” her mom mused.

Well at least her mom was blunt about it.

“We had a couple of conversations, and it stirred up old emotions, old drama. He…mom, he said he’d go back and change it all if he could. That he’d always choose me. What am I supposed to do with that?”

Her mom blinked a couple of times, lips parted in a surprised, before she coughed out a laugh.

“Well I could never accuse Tyson of being subtle.”

“Mom, seriously. This is stressing me out. I can’t stop thinking about it,” Lucy groaned.

“I think that’s an answer in itself, sweetheart,” she said softly.

“What?”

Her mom stayed silent, just nudging Lucy with her shoulder, and Lucy nudged back out of habit. What did she mean, that was an answer in itself?

“Lucy, honey, if you can’t stop thinking about Tyson choosing you above everything else, that means something,” her mom eventually said with a huffed laugh.

“But how can it? He still has his hockey, and I still have academics. Neither of those are going to change any time soon,” Lucy said sadly.

Because at the end of the day, that was the bottom line of it all. Their priorities haven’t changed.

“Just because your both still have your passions doesn’t mean that they have to be your only love. You can have both,” her mom said firmly.

What?

“How can I have both?” Lucy asked, confused.

“Do you love him?” was all she said.

“What?” Lucy said, surprised.

“Do you love him?” her mom repeated.

Lucy opened her mouth, shutting it again before huffing out a laugh. There was only one answer to that.

“Yeah, I never stopped,” she replied.

“Then you can have both. You spent the last five years missing him, and I know damn well that that boy missed you too - neither of you deserve that for another second. You can have both,” her mom said decisively.

She could have both?

How could she have both?

“You love him.”

“I love him,” Lucy whispered.

“Go get him.”

Lucy whimpered as she looked into her mom’s eyes, but she only saw warmth and encouragement. Her mom was right. She loved Tyson. She loved Tyson and if seeing him again this Christmas had taught her anything, it was that she was stupid if she tried to deny how much she missed him. If she didn’t tell him now, when would she?

“He leaves today. I need to go now,” she said suddenly.

“Well damn, okay then. Put on a sweater and I’ll find your snow boots,” her mom grinned.

Lucy felt like she was in a haze as she walked as quickly down the street as was safe, heart pounding as she spotted Tyson loading bags into his grandpa’s car.

“Tyson!”

His head whipped around at her shout, eyes going wide as he saw her walking towards him. Tyson shuffled down the driveway, missing Jim’s fond smile as he himself went back into the house, and the moment that she was standing in front of him, Tyson cupped his hands over her elbows to steady her.

“What are you doing here?”

“I love you,” she breathed.

Tyson whimpered, but Lucy wasn’t discouraged, not when she saw the wonder that filled his expression.

“You love me?”

“I love you. I love you so much and I can’t stop thinking about everything you said the other night,” she blurted out.

“Luce, I’m sorry, I know I upset you but…”

“No, Tys, it’s okay,” Lucy said, shaking her head as she interrupted, “While I stand by what I said, that we made the right decision at the time, maybe we could make a different decision now?”

“What are you saying?”

She could understand his hesitation, really she could. It wasn’t as if she wasn’t coming out with this out of the blue, after five years of nothing at all. After five years of heartbreak and heartache. But her mom was right – she missed him so fiercely and she couldn’t bear the thought of him not knowing that.

“I want us to start over new. I never stopped loving you, not for one moment. We could have both. We could have our passions and our love, and I hate that it’s taken me this long to even consider that? I miss you and I love you and I know you’re heading to the airport to fly back to Raleigh, but tell me I’m not crazy for thinking we could do this?”

Tyson’s jaw dropped as he processed her long rant, and it was only his firm grip on her elbows that stopped her from giving up hope.

“That was a lot,” Tyson said.

She winced. “I know, but…”

“And you poured out a lot of emotion there,” he interrupted.

Lucy kept her mouth shut this time, as much as she wanted to beg him to say more.

“It’s been agony for five years, for so many reasons, but hearing you say that you love me and you want to give our relationship another shot? I just…”

Tyson trailed off, letting out a long breath.

“I understand if I’m too late,” she murmured.

But Tyson huffed out a laugh, raising one hand from her elbow to cup her face in a gentle motion that had her breath hitching in her throat.

“There is no world in which you’d be too late,” Tyson said softly.

“Really?”

“I love you too, Lucy. I never stopped either,” he murmured.

She couldn’t stop the incredulous laugh that tumbled from her lips, smiling back up at Tyson as he smiled at her.

“We’re really doing this?” she asked, giddy.

“Yeah, baby, we are. I don’t know how we’re going to do this, or what it’s going to look like, but we’re both adult enough to know how to put in more effort this time round right, yeah? I’ll fly home for the all-star break, and I’ll fly you out for spring break, and we’ll have video calls that neither of us are going to miss. And everything else. We’re going to make it work this time,” he said, tone serious but face grinning.

“And we’re going to communicate, yeah? When one of us is finding it hard? We’ll find little compromises, as we can’t do the big compromises. We’re worth it,” Lucy added, not caring that her cheeks were aching with her smile.

“Yeah, we are. I love you, so much Lucy,” Tyson grinned.

“I love you too.”

Tyson didn’t waste any time in leaning down to press his lips to hers, their last first kiss.

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[arcanegifs]

rewatch the show yall. it gets even better if you do.

[wizardofarles]

one thing about canon Laurent I really admire and even envy is how constant he is. once Damen earned his trust he never took it back. what was it Damen said, something like, “when his walls went back up it was with Damen inside them”. for someone who went through what Laurent went through he’s shockingly stable in relationships

[lunabug2004]

Okay but if I get another “reasons why st5 will fail/reasons why I’m not watching st5” recommendation/TikTok/POST OF ANY KIND….. IM GONNA GO INSANE

Like, good for you ig 🤷🏼‍♀️ I couldn’t care less if you’re not watching tbh, and I respect your opinions/decisions… but don’t try to make others feel bad about still wanting to watch it. We are all humans and are all capable of making our own decisions thank you!

[alliumdykes]

The fact that when I came back from the cinema wanting to see some cool art and people talking about interesting stuff after something so flipin awesome and the first thing i see was the dream team being so fucking rude during a CHARITY EVENT for their DEAD FRIEND is honestly so disheartening.

My grandfather was so lucky to get cancer twice and survive both times, I knew someone who lost her dad to cancer. I know someone who survived childhood cancer. One of my great grandparents died of cancer, my family on both sides is extremely family oriented if he never died I would have met him. The fucking disrespect that they showed should not be laughed at, it shouldn’t be encouraged.

The fact they were playing airhorns during Technodad’s speech, one that should have been respected and really quiet durning and no one interrupting is the fucking worse. I don’t care if dteam fans say that it’s funny and Techno would have laughed because it’s not the fucking point!!!

The whole festival was a charity event in honour of their friend, and for Technodad his fucking son. No one should have gone though this. I don’t care if this comes across as rude or overreacting because the dteam need to grow the fuck up and learn that their actions have fucking consequences for once.

This isn’t supporting a brand that’s actually a scam, this isn’t saying something offensive by accident. This is being rude and disrespectful.

And it even hurts that none of their fans are going to care a single bit because I don’t fucking know maybe they’ll say “but it was a joke” or “dream has ADHD your being ableist” because none of that shit matters when you realise that neither of those things matter when it’s about respect.

These are the same fans who will defend these mother fuckers to the grave but when someone like Niki Niahchu accidentally uses avae because she doesn’t know about American history or what avae is because she lives in Germany(or any non American country because the world doesn’t revolve around you fuckers) and is called overreactive during mcc and having a lot of stress put onto her and BREAKS DOWN ON STREAM it’s ok because they think it is.

I want dteam fans to see this post and be uncomfortable, I don’t care if I’m being mean to your pretty white boys because they have been allowed to do anything with a platform that is way to big for them for too long. I’m allowed to be angry as well, I’m allowed to be mean, I’m not apologising to you if you feel sad that I’m being mean about them because they need to grow up.

Charlie had every right to tell dream to shut up during that stream.

Edit: I’m not going to be answering anymore asks about this post, I want my blog to be a personal space for me. This post wasn’t supposed to get as big as it has and just for me to rant. I’m only going to be accepting art requests and general asks and nothing about this. I’m 14 please leave me alone.

[spittyfishy]

Thoughts on the Typhlosion allegations/pokemon teraleaks?

Okay, here’s what I’ll say about that. (And fair warning, it is nothing positive)

I think the fandoms reaction to these “leaks” has been absolutely ridiculous. They are not canon, they do not change pre-existing information present in the games and anime. Concept art is interesting, but things that were scrapped and did not appear in the actual media should not be regarded as fact.

Especially the Typhlosion thing, it’s like if jk Rowling said ‘oh yeah at one point in the writing process I thought Harry Potter would be a girl, but I changed my mind’ and the fandom went ‘oh my god Harry’s been a girl this whole time!’ Like no, a lot of work and ideas go into the concept and development of works like these, and then creators pick and choose the best of their ideas and use that, but I think it’s very problematic to judge them on the concepts that they themselves already decided weren’t good enough to use.

I have very strict opinions about what counts as canon, and that very simply is ‘what is in the work itself’. Unused concepts, things a creator said years later online, and really popular headcanons don’t count. They’ll never count, sorry but that’s not how language works, you can’t just redefine canon to encompass anything that maybe could have been a part of the project. It can be super neat to look at what changes could have been made, but it needs to be understood that that does not impact what the actual game is like.

This Typhlosion thing especially, it *could* be neat if people just took the scrapped stories to go “oh yeah the Pokémon world could have had myths and legends similar to our own! That will be interesting to explore in fan works!” But that’s not what the majority of people did. Instead, people took it to mean that somehow all Typhlosion are secretly evil and shouldn’t be left alone with children and anyone who has one or likes that Pokémon should be ridiculed based on nothing.

Because the stuff that in those leaks (baring things about unreleased games) are nothing. Looking at them in the sense of seeing ‘How It’s Made’ is interesting, fine go for it yeah sure, but they have absolutely no bearing on the actual franchise itself. And I have no patience for the people taking them as gospel and insisting they be considered more true over the actual canon.

[peculiar--princess]

One of the worst parts about being chronically ill is that it impacts your ability to work and function like non chronically ill people do. Because of this, it also impacts your financial stability and makes you feel inferior and as though you’re a burden to loved ones.