#I’ll be negative if I want to be negative

[mioons]

‎ YOU DREW STARS AROUND MY SCARS ✦ 星星

ᐢ..ᐢ enha when you relapse ㅤ✿ 𝖾𝗇𝗁𝖺 𝗁𝗒𝗎𝗇𝗀 𝓁𝗂𝗇𝖾 𝗑 𝒻𝖾𝗆. 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 ⟢ ( 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗍, 𝗂𝗆𝗉𝗅𝗂𝖾𝖽 𝗌𝗁, 𝖾𝗌𝗍. 𝗋𝖾𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉 ) . . 630 ⟡

EN— | 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒𝖾𝖽 ♥︎ CLiCK

heeseung thinks you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. so why on earth would he ever allow you to damage or tarnish your body? it truly breaks his heart every time. he feels his heart being torn into two every time he sees a new scar on your body.

“baby, it’s gonna be okay,” he’d whisper into your hair as he cradled your trembling body.

each tear that rolled down your cheek was like a stab to his heart. he wanted to whisper into your ear and tell you he’ll take care of you forever, that he’ll love you for a lifetime.

he wishes he could take all the pain inside of your heart and give it to himself. an angel like you doesn’t deserve to suffer.

“shh.. i love you. don’t hurt yourself please? talk to me okay? i’ll do everything i can to help yeah? my pretty baby.”

jay can’t bear to see you hurt yourself, be it over something trivial or something serious, it pains him to see you in pain. seeing any sort of scar or wound inflicted upon your skin causes him to immediately rush to your side, wrapping his strong arms around your scared frame.

and god did it hurt to see you so scared, so in pain. the worse part of all this was him not being able to do anything.

he could only whisper sweet nothings into your ear, mumbling quiet, ‘i love you’s and ‘you’re gonna be okay sweetheart’s

he wanted to confront whoever or whatever that caused you so much hurt and destroy every fibre of it.

“‘s okay sweetheart, i’m here. i’m here right now with you,” he’d press a few kisses to the side of your face in hopes it would calm your nerves a little.

“i love you no matter what.”

jake doesn’t blame you for any of the hurt and pain you’re going through. in fact, he thinks he hasn’t done enough to protect you, to keep you safe from harm. how could he let such a beautiful soul like you go through anything bad in life? he wants to transfer all the scars on your body to his, to make you feel loved and so protected by him.

once he found you lying on the floor of your shared bedroom, he frantically rushed to your side and held you against his chest.

“oh my precious girl.. i’m so sorry my love,” he’d whisper into your hair, pressing kisses to the side of your head and your face.

if kissing you could take your pain away, jake would do it in a heartbeat.

“you’re so enough for me baby, don’t ever tell yourself anything otherwise.”

jake would comfort you over and over again, not feeling any ounce of discomfort or annoyance.

for you were his precious girlfriend he had to protect for eternity.

sunghoon may seem like the kind of guy to not be sentimental but in reality the moment he sees you hurting yourself or beating yourself up over something trivial, he’s already at your side.

holding your hands in his, he gently entwines both your fingers together. he’s holding your hand not only to comfort you but to stop you from hurting yourself even more. to stop you from thinking you should hurt yourself because an angel such as you should never have to have these negative thoughts in her head.

“if you can’t love yourself, let me love you for you,” he’d whisper ever so softly in your ear. sunghoon will press feather like kisses all over your tear stricken face, a silent way of telling you that even at your lowest, he’d still love you the same forevermore.

“let me be the one you share your joy and your pain with.”

taglist ╱ @flwrstqr @wonsdoll @won4kiss @dioll @tzyunaes @suneng @jakesangel @wonsprincess

[xoluvx]

hi babies,

i love interacting with ya’ll and i love that some of you just love being here with me and that this has become part of your daily routine 💖

recently, with all of “good” .. there’s starting to now be lots of “bad”. my inbox has always only had positive things, but people are starting to feel comfortable with being rude and demanding (and not in a cute playful way). some of you are getting upset because i don’t answer your asks. some of you are telling me to get offline and “touch a woman” which is hilarious imo because you literally don’t know my life dude. i dont owe anyone an explanation. i just love being a safe space for people and that’s what this blog has been.

i’ve always wanted this space to be a safe space for everyone.. including myself.. especially myself because it’s my blog.. but it’s starting to not feel that way and so things need to change.

i apologize if i haven’t given you attention or have made you feel unwanted in any way. i wish you understood that i have to pick and choose what to reply to because people are now literally just sending random stuff that i don’t know how to answer??

i do not tolerate hate or negativity towards anyone!! ever ever and that includes myself AGAIN. i know my self worth and my limits.

i’m thinking i’ll just go back to limiting my answers to asks and mainly posting my writing since that’s the whole reason everyone is here (including myself).

i love my babies so much. thank you for being here 💖

okay rant over.

[lilacxquartz]

FIRST IMPRESSIONS / final part

choso × gn!reader

ao3 • masterlist • << previous part

summary: choso promises you safety, but you can’t help but feel like staying behind would invite more danger instead.

The entirety of Shibuya was overrun with chaos at this point.

The closer you got closer to the surface, the more you could hear the screams and cries of what was unfolding in the city and you couldn’t help and yet, you couldn’t help but feel lucky in a bittersweet kind of way.

That could have been you up there; suffering with the rest.

You were never supposed to be here, after all. Just a victim of your own ignorance and caught in the middle of something you still didn’t quite understand. You were just barely grasping the concept of sorcery but it was all too late.

You were dragged into it and unintentionally involved and now, there was no way out.

Except through him.

Choso stood right before you, still not too keen on letting you go. His mind warred with itself internally, trying to seek out the logic and reasoning behind setting you free. Realistically, he knew that this was an unsustainable pipe dream unless you were also entirely on board.

He still saw you as a beacon of hope of some kind; as someone who saw him for beyond what he truly was. Being half curse himself, he hated the idea that he was born partially from human negativity and hatred but especially with how he was, for a lack of better words, developed.

Settling on an idea, the area you were both in was technically secure. If you stayed right where you were, he could come back and collect you when the main danger was gone and you’d hopefully be intact.

“Stay here,” he instructed in a slight murmur. “I…I have to settle something, but you’ll be safe here. I’ll come back for you.”

“Wait,” your replied, feeling confused, “you’re leaving?”

Choso was just as conflicted as you were. He couldn’t take you to where he needed to go; it was too dangerous. At the same time, he couldn’t just let you go completely because the rest of the district was in shambles.

“I have to confront someone from my past,” he repeated again, “then I’ll get you out of here.”

“…Who?” you tried to ask, you wanted nothing more than to understand what was going on.

“A curse user called Kenjaku,” Choso revealed, knowing that you were just barely keeping up with him at all. “He’s the one responsible for all of… this. For me. He made me into this and he’s out there hurting people I still care about.”

You cautiously nodded, trying to understand. It wasn’t quite a world you were familiar with, but you could register the sentiment behind his words. People hurt people in ‘your world’ too. It didn’t surprise you that the people with certain… abilities as he tried to explain them to you, were abusing them.

“Please,” he added, gripping onto your arm as he tried to drive the point home. “Just stay here. You’re the only one who has ever made me feel human and I want you to make it to safety. If you want to leave after…” he paused to strain himself, finding the next words difficult to utter, “then you may.”

There was something unsettling that brewed within his tone, as if there was no room for argument beyond the command he gave you. You could only nod slowly as you parsed his instructions even if you didn’t quite agree with being stashed somewhere for who knows how long.

Before he left too, he pressed his lips against your forehead as a kind gesture. It wasn’t quite a kiss, but something about it felt possessive enough.

“You’ll be safe if you stay here,” he repeated once more, nestling you within the underpass, far away from the action. It wasn’t completely safe but it was highly unlikely that you were going to encounter danger this far away even if the entire district was compromised.

“Okay,” you nodded again, although you were unsure if you could truly mean it. “I’ll stay here.”

You watched on as he disappeared into the city; his figure fading off into a blurring silhouette. A part of you wanted to follow him just to see what he was taking about in the flesh, but you were too terrified to move all at the same time.

Being left behind in the middle of everything that was going on however, felt like torture. Especially as your own anxiety began to slowly overwhelm you. Minutes felt like hours and although he claimed that you would be safe if you stayed put, the distant noises within earshot did very little to comfort you.

You tried to stay hidden, just like Choso had asked you but it was becoming increasingly difficult to stay committed to your promise.

Hearing a noise a little too close, you swallowed down a painful gulp and slipped out of the hiding spot. Just in case. You tried to go towards where there was less bustle and noise, eventually walking yourself back into what seemed to be a woman.

You blinked at the sight of her. She was calm, composed and even looked a little annoyed at the sudden clash. Dark brown hair covered her face, just barely concealing desaturated eye bags, hinting at lacking sleep.

She hummed as her eyes glossed over you. “You’re not a sorcerer.”

You gulped, finding that your voice stuttered a little as you attempted to reply, “I-I am not…”

“What is a non sorcerer doing all the way out here?” she asked both you and herself, her tone of voice carrying a distinct calmness to it.

“I-I don’t know,” you stammered, trying to find the right words, “I just got caught up in all of this. I was going to a party, then I got lost and I met this guy who told me to stay here to keep safe but then I kept hearing things…”

The woman nodded as you talked, her eyes gradually narrowing as she tried to understand your partially incoherent rambling. “Alright. You’re a civilian who got caught up in this. Not to worry, if you follow me, I can get you out of this.”

“A-actually… I’m waiting for someone,” you protested slightly, feeling somewhat tethered to the strange man from before. You felt like you owed it to him to at least be within the vicinity, so he didn’t think you died or something similar.

The woman frowned slightly, not liking the sound of this. “…Who?”

“He called himself… Choso?” you replied.

“I haven’t heard of him,” she murmured, feeling some slight concern build within her senses. If it was a sorcerer from the opposite end, then she especially didn’t want a civilian to get involved with the wrong people.

“Oh,” you sighed in a slightly resigned tone.

“You should come with me,” she repeated once more, in the same sort of self assured tone that Choso did. “I’ll get you out of here. Waiting around in this place will only get you killed.”

Gulping once more, you nodded and followed her forward, attempting to ignore the gnawing feeling of unease that twisted in the depths of your stomach. Choso asked you to stay and even though you strayed slightly away, you had no idea who on earth you were supposed to trust out here.

You strayed a little too close to the woman as she navigated you through the quieter streets, meeting with a tan man with thick rimmed glasses and sharp cut hair.

“Got another civilian,” she gestured with the flick of her head towards you.

The man nodded. “I’ll see if I can get a hold of someone to get them out, but it might take a while. It’s hell out there. See them through in the medical bay for now.”

“Got it,” she said before snapping her fingers and getting you to tag along right behind her once more.

This time, she brought you towards a sort of makeshift medical area that seemed to be far away from the main battle. Sorcerers, or what you assumed were such, seemed to be treated for their wounds and you were sat down not too far away, jittering a little as she made sure that you weren’t actually injured anywhere.

“Where were you initially?” she asked, as though trying to gauge just what type of mess that you were caught up in.

“T-the station,” you replied.

Her eyes slightly darkened at the mention. Shoko knew from the briefings from her colleagues that the subway was dealing with transfigured humans as well as unleashed cursed spirits, so the very fact that you, a civilian, had made it out seemingly unscathed was… well, a miracle.

After what seemed to be like hours more, there was a strangely familiar presence within the area. You could feel that you were in trouble somehow and when you saw the man from before closing in on you, you knew why.

“Hold on,” Shoko interjected, as did the tan man from before, Yaga. “Who’s this?”

“Oh,” a teenaged boy with pink hair interjected, seeming oddly cheerful despite the state that he was otherwise in. “That’s my brother apparently, or something. He was misguided before, but now he’s on our side! He’s a death painting so he’s kinda like us but stronger!”

Shoko could only sigh, sensing that this whole incident was getting more and more complicated by the second. “Great…”

You tensed as the pale man closed in on you, his body quickly bridging the gap as he loomed over you. His voice was rough with worry, but he kept his volume confined to just a whisper, “I told you to stay hidden.”

Shoko narrowed her eyes as she watched, leaning slightly towards Yuji. “Hey, kid. What’s his name?”

“Choso, I think,” he replied.

“Huh,” she could only reply, wondering how on earth you got yourself involved with a death painting but chose not to read too much into it for her own sanity.

“I’m sorry,” you murmured out to him, feeling slightly embarrassed. “I heard a noise and got scared but then I found her and it technically worked out, so…”

“Do you have any idea how worried I was when I passed by the area and couldn’t find you?” he replied, not quite listening to you. “You were supposed to trust me.”

“And I do,” you tried to argue back, “but I got scared because I still don’t understand what’s happening.”

Choso’s expression grew taut as his fists clenched at his sides. He could tell that more than a few eyes were on both you and him the longer that he discussed safety matters to someone who clearly didn’t belong. It seemed as though Yaga was close to intervening, but Shoko prevented him from doing so, clearly curious by the turn of events.

“I believe you,” he sighed at last, his shoulders finally sagging. He didn’t want to cause yet another scene, blinded by his own lacking understanding. If he wanted to be more human and even be seen as such by you, then he had to recognise that irrationality in the face of fear was just a part of it.

Despite the slight audience, he pulled you into a hug in an attempt to comfort you, holding you close even in spite of the chaos that could still be heard raging just outside.

Choso knew that this would be an on and off limited thing, since his mission was not yet over but the least he simply couldn’t resist holding onto the very first person who ever saw him for who he wanted himself to be.

“You don’t have to protect me like this though,” you tried to whisper. “I think I’m safe now.”

His expression of serenity however slightly faltered, his eyes boring into yours as he attempted to keep you with him. He didn’t quite understand what you had meant and in his mind, you were close to abandoning him even though it was far from that fact.

“Do you want to go home?” he asked quietly again. “Do you want to leave all of this?”

Of course you did, he thought. Of course you didn’t want to endure this whole mess. How stupid he was to think otherwise—

“—no,” you said instead, catching him by surprise. “I want to know more about what’s truly going on.”

“Then…” he tried to find the right words again, his voice caught in the back of his throat, “would you please let me protect you? Please. If anything happens to you… I-I don’t know what I’ll do—“

“—okay,” you gently interrupted him, trying to calm him down. “I’ll trust you to do so.”

Choso then shuddered out a shaky breath, his body slacking some more as he finally secured a place in your heart, from what it looked like. Pulling slightly back, you felt a little awkward as everyone quickly averted their gazes, pretending as though they weren’t listening in on what to them, was a slightly bizarre exchange.

Choso continued to slightly shake as he took in his newfound responsibility; his body tense with protective need. He wasn’t quite sure what regular human life was like, but he wanted to protect you from the negativity that spawned from within the shadows—to perhaps even learn how to exist amidst the chaos as your hopeful equal—even if it was for just a short moment in time.

After all, how could he even begin to let someone like you go? He was glad that you didn’t want to go straight home, that you wanted to stay, because if he was being truthful to himself; he wouldn’t have let you go.

Oblivious to his spiralling thoughts, you leaned into him as he also did the same, enjoying your company in a rare moment of silence. He would have to let go soon, to carry on with protecting humanity from an ancient evil keen on carrying out its plans, but that didn’t mean that you would be very far.

Choso exhaled slowly, feeling a heavy weight slowly be lifted off of his shoulders as he peeled himself away from the hug you gave him.

It was a brief feeling that he felt from you, but for once, he felt peace within your arms.

Finally, he felt truly human.

And that was enough to keep him going.

And hopefully one day, he would return to you.

[physalian]

On Hyper Independent Characters (and how not to make them the bad guy)

So many characters with “trust issues” are painted out to be cynical little gremlins who just need to ~open their hearts~ and ~let the love in~ like doing so, repeatedly, has only proven them right every single time, but this one love interest will swoop in and save the day.

The people who write these characters tend to do so in bad faith, as if their fears and trust issues are unfounded nonsense, like they’re wrong and Negative Nellys for being wary.

So!

From experience (thus this is hella biased), here’s some thoughts on writing an independent character with trust issues that isn’t belittling.

1. It’s likely not that kind of trust they have issues with

I said this before a while ago, but “trust issues” paired with an extreme sense of self-reliance isn’t “I think everyone is a liar,” but rather “I think everyone is unreliable”. It might stem from a place of constantly being let down, of constantly having the people in their life drop the ball on major events, but also little things, even something as simple as “hey yeah I’ll totally do the dishes” and then they continue to sit there, forcing the person to be a nag about it, or just do it themselves.

These kinds of personalities tend to grow up surrounded by unkept and empty promises, where, while it might not be every single occasion, it happens one too many times for them to keep giving the benefit of the doubt. Even when people have the best of intentions and mean it when they say they’ll do XYZ in the moment, and they really just forgot, the person they made the promise to is impatiently waiting for them to remember 12-day-old dishes.

2. Why don’t they just remind people to keep their promises?

If you’re in my boat, many people with commitment issues are also narcissists or just mean, who, if you even gently remind them, make you out to be a nagging, impatient brat. And to avoid hearing that again, you just don’t speak up. Too many times where ‘forgetting’ has been from a source of a weird power fantasy, intentionally screwing you over, leaves people sitting in a state of unknowing whether it’s benign neglect or very much on purpose, and afraid to voice their concerns to be proven right.

If you’re not in my boat, chronic “forgetters” aren’t going to change without intervention. So if I ask you to do the dishes once, and you forget, that’s one thing. If I ask you twice, three times, four times, nagging over and over again, then the benefit of the doubt is shredded, and I can’t help but assume that the “forgetting” is on purpose. Either weaponized incompetence or something more benign, doesn’t matter. Even if you have some executive dysfunction, that's an explanation, not an excuse, and the people you live with aren't your maids.

Either way, these personalities might grow up with a whole slew of self-worth issues, and be reluctant to make plans with people, invite friends to important events, or get excited about big milestones, because they’re so used to people they care about “forgetting” or canceling last minute that the only one they can trust to reliably show up is themselves.

3. Why don’t they just communicate these fears?

See the “narcissists” in point 2

4. Isn’t it lonely never letting people in?

Fuck yeah, it is. The thing is, though, that if you spend your whole life learning how to do everything alone—pay your bills, do ‘couple’ or ‘friend’ activities, run errands, take yourself out to places—the idea of having to squeeze in the wants and needs of someone else might start to sound incredibly inconvenient.

If you’re so used to being on your own schedule and reaping the benefits of being a party of 1 in crowded spaces (I just took myself to dinner at a place with an hour long wait, able to be seated immediately at the last remaining barstool), of not having to wait for someone else to confirm plans, negotiate who’s driving, negotiate a time to meet up, food to order, a movie to see, a roller coaster to ride, a game or streaming service to buy—everything is entirely under your control, sacrificing convenience for the chance that the person you invite actually shows up on time and is invested as you are isn’t really worth the risk.

That's not to say I don't enjoy when I get to do things with friends, but I can equally enjoy doing things alone as opposed to whining about it.

Personally, while I can daydream about having a romantic partner, that thought is always immediately followed up by the understanding that they’ll be an inconvenience to my independence. But I’m someone who’s always had to do the emotional labor in a relationship, who’s always the most organized, the most mature, the most level-headed in tough situations. Always been the person in groupwork who does all the work. The idea of being “a team” is a fantasy meant for other people. “Team” to me is “me and this deadweight that I have to drag around”.

5. How I’d like to see this represented in characters

Dropping “the one” into their lives and having this person swept up, broken out of their little pessimistic shell, in some epic romance, as if they only needed to find the right person and nothing at all goes wrong… is bad faith.

It’s bad faith because it minimizes this kind of independence as just a little mood problem that can be fixed right quick, that it’s inherently wrong—what was all the fuss about?

What I’d like to see is examples that prove they’re not crazy. Big and little things. Dishes, and big events. Then, they can meet “the one,” but not without some trial and error. A lifetime of “people suck and are unreliable” isn’t going to be snapped away bibbidi bobbidi boo after one good date. This magical person will have to show up, and keep showing up, and keep showing up, and the one time they don’t, because they won’t, then A and B can hash it out like adults.

6. How this person might act

I’ve never actually met somebody like me and we’d either be best friends or loathe each other. But this person might be the most reliable friend you’ve ever had, because they’re so afraid of becoming like everyone in their life who let them down before. If you ask a favor of them, it gets done with supernatural haste.

This person might also have their own commitment issues, where instead of failing to keep their promises, they punish themselves by keeping promises they hate, showing up out of spite and resentment because they said they would, lest they be called a hypocrite.

They might under-share or not speak up about accomplishments in their life until the time for hype and anticipation has passed, lest they share expecting the same level of excitement only to be met with apathy. They might not show visible excitement about objectively exciting things, because they’re so used to plans falling through that they won’t believe something is happening until they are physically in the location and it’s staring them in the face.

Thus, they might look frequently bored or unhappy and unmoved by something important to you, or something you thought they’d like (especially if you’ve let them down before, trust is a privilege, not a right).

7. What I’d like people to understand most of all

First, that some of us tend to live by the “if you want something done right do it yourself” mantra, so actually asking somebody for help with something is admitting that X cannot be done alone, which makes failure to keep a promise even worse. As in, if A goes out of their way to admit they can’t do F alone and risk being let down to ask B to do this one little thing for them, and B still drops the ball, A is going to sit there and think “this is why I have trust issues”.

Can’t speak for everyone, but yes I do acknowledge that the suffering in silence isn’t helping anyone and am working on it. Counterpoint: Weaponized incompetence is very real and an adult should not have to remind another adult to keep their living space clean, at the bare minimum. Agreeing to do a thing is at least equal responsibility on the inviter and invitee and "you didn't remind me" isn't a valid excuse.

But most importantly, if you have a friend or relative who is fiercely independent, I’d implore you to learn one thing: Do not make promises that you can’t keep. And if shit happens and you have to cancel even when you had the best of intentions, have the decency to tell them and make the best effort you can to reschedule ASAP, instead of putting the impetus on them to do the rescheduling. Make it absolutely clear that you do, in fact, care, and weren’t going out of some apathetic sense of obligation.

I cannot count the amount of times I have asked a friend to do something for me, they eagerly agreed, and then my very real deadlines come and go and they say absolutely nothing, so I have to nag them, and nag them, and then they turn it back on me with a “obviously you can see that I’m busy and you’re not paying me for this” when all they had to do was say “no I can’t help you” (two whole humans; we are not friends anymore).

The ability to be approached with a request for a favor, step back and think about it, and go “No, I don’t think I can do that in that time frame/at this moment I’m going through a lot/with the skill the task requires” is apparently ridiculously rare. I’d infinitely prefer a no upfront than a yes, bank on that yes, and then wait around hoping someone follows through.

Not saying anything is really rude. If you agree to X, the person who asked you is fully expecting you to do X. They shouldn’t have to be lining up backup plans and last minute helpers scrambling to do the job you promised would get done.

—

Not exaggerating when I say it happens in so many areas. I’ve needed very important things like recommendation letters, or actual paid beta readers on a very hard deadline and still scrambled at the last minute to find replacements that sometimes cost real money for rush fees. I’ve been left waiting at an event for an hour minimum only to finally receive a ‘hey I can’t come’ text and then go home. I’ve told people multiple times, “hey, if you’re going to do X, please do it like this and have some consideration for my things that you’re borrowing” and just… be ignored.

As somebody who gets whatever’s asked of me done immediately, no matter how busy I am, man is it hard to keep accepting “sorry I forgot” as an excuse, from multiple people, multiple times.

The nice thing, though, the big benefit of hyper-independence is that I have learned so many skills out of a compulsion to just do it myself instead of gambling with the accountability of another flighty human. Handyman things for my home and my car, but artistic things, too. So there’s that.

[my-little-random-world]

Isabel: Doña Marta, Miss Fina Valero. Marta: Tell her to come in. Isabel: Right away. Fina: Well, well, well, Marta! The private sale was a total success! You should have seen Carmen; she was walking right up to the clients as they passed through the door. Marta: I know, Astrid Madariaga just called me, all excited, to tell me about it. Fina: They cleared everything out, huh? Marta: What great news! Fina: And why didn’t you come by? I’ve been waiting for you all afternoon. Marta: Because I had to take over my new position. Fina: What new position? Marta: You’re looking at the new director of Perfumerías de la Reina. Fina: What?! Are you serious? Marta: Yes! Fina: What?! Marta: My father removed Jesús and offered it to me. It all happened so fast, which is why I couldn’t tell you before.

Fina: But, but congratulations, right?! Congratulations! What wonderful news, honestly! Because... because it’s good news, right? Marta: Yes, yes, yes. I’m on cloud nine. And for my father to have trusted me... Fina: But does that mean...? Marta: That we’re smoothing things over. Fina: Oh my God, Marta! You have no idea how much you deserve all of this, truly. You’ve fought so hard to get here. You’ve had to break down walls that your brothers, just by being men, can’t even imagine. Marta: I won’t deny that. Fina: And... and what about Barcelona? Is the move still on? Because I doubt your brother will take long to expose those photographs if you don’t step down from the position. Marta: That’s not going to happen. Fina: Why? Marta: Because my father destroyed the negatives. Fina: Are we out of danger? Marta: The nightmare is over. Jesús can’t hurt us.

—Next scene—

Marta: We no longer have to run, and you can stay by your father’s side until his last breath. That’s what you wanted, right? Fina: Yes, yes, yes. Marta: Does that sound good to you...? Fina: Of course, of course it sounds good to me. I felt so guilty about having to leave him. Marta: Well, now nothing and no one will stop us from continuing our lives here. In fact, now with my new position, I’ll make sure no one bothers us in the colony. What’s wrong? Aren’t you happy? Fina: Yes, of course. Of course I’m happy. I’m really happy... But in Barcelona, we were going to live together in the same house and... that’s it, it’s fine! I was excited about it, but it’s fine. Marta: Fina... Fina: No, don’t “Fina” me, Marta. You just said it yourself. Here, we’ll each go back to our own lives, each in our own place. Marta: We’ll find a way. Just last night you were sleeping at my place. Fina: Your place, but in the downstairs rooms with my father, because I thought those were the last days I was going to spend with him. Marta: We’ll figure it out, hm? The important thing now is that you and I are safe. Fina: We’ve really lifted a heavy weight off our shoulders, haven’t we? Marta: I would’ve never forgiven myself if something had happened to you because of my brother.

[machveil]

Beautiful, cute, dulzura, A quick question, do you have any advice for drawing? I see your drawings and I just fell in love with them, I just started drawing again but it's difficult...

I don't know, sorry, English is not my first language, using translator jiji 🤎🍁

(note: this post is long, grab a snack lol) ah! no problem, don’t worry about the translator haha (pinterest link - this is my masterboard for human references! I’ll talk about it more below)

I think my best advice for anyone wanting to draw is to break down your piece into shapes! (also, depending on your style, using different line weights)

from my experience, while looking at the whole reference is good, it’s easier to break down individual parts! while some parts can look complicated, a lot of things can be broken down into triangles, squares, and circles (or half circles)

I focus on character art, so I’ll be speaking about that - but it can applied to scenery and objects too. a lot of characters clothes are broken up into colored articles already - in the top reference, Ghost has a red bandanna on his arm! that bandanna helps break up his arm: the top near his shoulder is triangular, the bandanna itself is overall rectangular, and the bottom of his sleeve is a square

of course, depending on how you’re posing the character it can change the angle of what we’re seeing - there’s also an accommodation that your art probably won’t be a 1-to-1 copy with your reference. Ghost’s right arm (bandanna) has a white rolled up sleeve - while the model’s sleeve is square, I prefer to draw rolled sleeves more triangular

I think line weight is also important depending on your style! I prefer thicker lines around the entire character, and defining qualities also get thicker lines

I like thinner lines inside the character to help define dimensional shape and form. I use thicker lines on the inside of the body if there’s a shape/area that’s more in the foreground - example: König’s chest and midsection have thick line art to help differentiate from his left arm (behind his body)

I know a common piece of advice is to use real life references, and I agree… but, I never hear people talk about how to use references in a way that actually helps (“just draw from real life”, or “drawing with a reference is good practice”). I experienced that and wasn’t able to take anything away for years!

within the past year or so I seriously took a look at how using references can help me, so I want to try and talk about that - if I had trouble learning from references I’d wager someone else has

here’s my best example of using a reference because I actually remembered to! I labeled the figure to make it a little easier to follow

(1) my first tip is using a reference to figure out how the body ‘flows’. the human body has a lot of soft, rounded lines when you look at a picture - very few things are legitimately straight and sharp. I used the reference specifically to figure out how men’s pecs are shaped (of course, this is just one reference… because this is my headcanon for König’s body type haha)

(1) looking at references can help you understand how muscles move. in the reference with the woman, you notice how her right arm (down) muscles are layered - the shape portrayed by the reference lets you see how an arm’s muscles might be laid out in that position

(2) my second tip from the König reference is to look at negative space! the highlighted red portion between the arm and midsection is roughly the same negative space as the reference. if you’re using a reference and something feels off with the placement of what you’ve drawn I’d recommend looking at the space your reference takes up

(2) the negative space trick helps me line up where proportions should meet up - the distance between her arms lets me gauge how the rest of her body should be proportioned

(2) while it doesn’t match up 1-to-1 with the reference when layered overtop, it doesn’t have to! the negative space between the arms was enough for the sketch to mimic what the reference looks like. art doesn’t have to be a 1-to-1, but negative space can help you figure out ‘why does that arm look funny?’, “that arm looks funny because, compared to the negative space of your reference, it’s too (far away/close) to the body.”

(3) my last tip is the simplest, so I’ll just be referring to the König figure! when using references I look to gauge the distance between different body parts - it helps me get more realistic proportions. the bit I specifically compared to was the man’s stomach placement compared to his waist. I didn’t copy it 1-to-1 because I like the idea König has more of a tummy, but the reference allowed me to figure out an anatomical placement for where König’s stomach would be compared to his waist

I hope my advice wasn’t terrible haha everyone’s art journey is different, but these are tips I would have liked to know a few years ago (specifically the reference material ones lol). I wanted to focus more on the reference material because when people say ‘just use a reference, it’ll help’ it didn’t do it for me

I personally needed a more in depth explanation on why I would use a reference, what should I be looking at - because just drawing a person doesn’t necessarily help, and how should I be learning from it - I accidentally taught myself negative space before I knew what it was

but uhm… yeah, I hope this wasn’t awful! good luck on everyone’s art journeys, just remember that you’re allowed to take your time and try different things

if you guys have any other questions about my art feel free to jump into my inbox; process wise, inspiration, etc - I’ll answer anything I can<3

[haunteddollgender]

Unemployed, super broke, kind of homeless, and scared out of my mind

Hi 👋 Sorry about disappearing out of thin air. Had to run away from my abusive step-father who’s been worse than ever lately. Staying with an aunt but she’s trying to sell her house, so I don’t know how long I’ll have a place to go. And I still haven’t found a job after over a year since being laid off. Bills came out of my account yesterday, and now I’m in the negatives.

If you’re able to, I would rly appreciate some help. My family’s been going through a really hard time, and I don’t want to borrow money from them to make it harder. My cash.app is horrorgirly, and I would appreciate literally any amount of help. Whether it’s just $1 or even a reblog. Thank you 🫶

[hanafubukki]

I love thinking of the black + silver + blonde combo with the diasomnia fam because night sky + moon/stars + the sun

also the red on lilia's hair adding to a blood moon (???) <-making this one up for fun only

Hello Anonie 🌺🩵🌷

*internally vibrating* YEEESSS ME TOOOOO

Anonie you have no idea how hard I’m holding back from writing a whole essay about this very topic. Because if you know me, you know I love celestial and flower themes and book 7? Has been giving us all that and more.

Where do I begiiinnnn, okay I’ll keep it succinct:

Night Sky/Black - represents the fae, yes, but can we also talk about the comfort of this color? For Diasomnia especially, this symbolizes rebirth and recovery. Safety. It’s home. But also the night sky is when Malleus and Silver were hatched/awoken. A new beginning. Change. It personifies Lilia a lot.

The moon/stars - represents Malleus and Silver. Both of them who are loved by Lilia. It also represents the stars that Lilia looked upon while he traveled. The stars he always wished upon. The dance and wishes event that hinted at what was to come in book 7. Literally, the brightness of the moon and stars have always guided Lilia and brought him comfort. (A bit of random yume lore, but this just hits so much because my yume is of the stars). The stars also represent those that pass away in the fae culture. Look at Lilia’s dorm groovy. It features the night, moon, and stars. Malleus’ dorm groovy looking up at Lilia with the wisterias.

The Sun - you won’t be surprised with me saying Knight of Dawn. The sun/dawn/light can be a sign of death in twst. Meleanor’s death. And after everyone wakes up, it will most likely be dawn. In my culture and many others, light/white clothing is a symbolism of death and purity so it’s interesting to see it in twst. I also want to say it’s a form of comfort too to Lilia and Malleus. Lilia because he could be in that comforting brightness and for Malleus, he could visit that cottage when he ran from the castle. Silver’s dorm groovy with the sun setting.

Red/blood moon - blood moon is such an Interesting take. Because depending on the religion/culture, it can be either a time of reflection, renewal, and the cleansing of negative emotions or basically judgment day. For Lilia? It can be both. He lost his loved one and Malleus was taken away. To him, that was the end of his world. But also, it was a beginning. He came back not as General Lilia Vanrouge but just Lilia Vanrouge. He cleansed his negative emotions and through reflection and renewal, he became a new person. He loved. He softened and he hatched Malleus and awoke Silver. Red -> Pink is also a nice transition of his grumpy, stubborn self into his soft fatherly and still stubborn self.

…I tried to keep it short 😂💞 I hope you enjoyed my rambling Anonie ☺️🌺💞

[gurugirl]

Hi, idk really why I want to ask you this but sometimes I just feel so insecure about the fact I’m still a virgin at 23. I haven’t even kissed someone. I’ve always been so insecure about my looks that I’ve never wanted to get intimate with someone, and i know I’m not ugly but I just feel like now the fact I have never had anything makes me feel repulsive. I’ve been on dates but I’ve just never felt that interested in them? I like my alone time too and I feel like I can’t be bothered trying to force a relationship when I want to work on myself. I’m going travelling in 6 months for a year and I doubt I’ll meet someone when I’m travelling so I’ll be 25 almost when I come back and still a virgin. Is that bad? I know I should take things at my pace but I just feel like there must be something wrong with me if I don’t really want to with anyone I’ve met who’s been into me? What should I do?

I got wordy here so a read more was necessary ↓

Hi hon. I say this anytime someone asks me about having not met some milestone yet - but you still being a virgin at 23 really doesn't define you at all and it's not weird. I bet I could post a poll right now and ask who's still a virgin past the age of 23 and you'd see a lot more virgins than not. In fact, I just had a recent anon who is also 23 and a virgin (pretty sure I posted this ask yesterday - check the #ask tag on my blog if you'd like) so you're not alone. Not even close.

Milestones, especially something like when you should lose your virginity, should all be done away with. There's no timeline for something like that. And I'm sure you've heard it before but you definitely want to enjoy your first time having sex and do it with someone you trust and not force yourself to get it over with. While I think virginity is mostly just a social construct, it can be a big deal to us as individuals.

You aren't repulsive, there's nothing wrong with you, and you get to decide when and with whom you do have sex with. No one but you. I actually think you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. You've gone on dates and have made the mature decision that you weren't that into the people you dated, you know you're someone who enjoys your alone time (me too hon), you already know better than to force a relationship (some people don't get this concept bc they're scared to be alone and by the time they realize what they've done it's too late), and you're about to go on a year-long travel which is huge and there would be so many people your age terrified to travel for a year. You're brave, adventurous, and smart.

I think you're way more amazing than you realize, just from this ask I can pick up how mature and emotionally intelligent you are. Don't compromise. You're doing absolutely amazing. And also don't discount yourself that you're not going to perhaps meet someone on your travels. Who knows what will happen? Maybe you'll still be a virgin after the year is up - but that's perfectly okay too. Be open to what could happen and keep doing what you're doing.

Also, it's going to benefit you to not talk badly about yourself. Start telling yourself how impressive and how unique you are. Do away with saying such negative things. Seriously. No more of that that! You're going to be just fine. Remember that you're still young, you're smart, and you're about to do something that most people in this world cannot say they've ever done, nor would they be brave enough to (enjoy wherever your travels take you!).

xoxo

[my-shields-are-down]

honest question— why do you constantly feel the need to be so negative?

not only are your statements factually incorrect

a) alexi hawley stated in interviews that chenford would never get together when they were still rookie and to. which is true. and there’s documented proof that this is in fact what he actually said

b) alexi has been the head writer on most of chenford’s most poignant episodes. he doesn’t hate the ship. he was instrumental in creating it

but they’re also just completely unnecessary. there is absolutely no reason to rain on a new viewer’s enjoyment. you are entitled to your feelings, but spreading this bitterness and negativity has gotten so old

######

OOOOOH! Anonymous hate! How cool is this?! Now I know I’ve really made it! (I’m being sarcastic)

I’ve been a member of Tumblr since the love fern started growing in the Arrowcave during S1 of ARROW .

I write fan fiction, express my opinion on COVID, masks, Kanthony, the raging tangerine, theoretical mathematics, physics, weather patterns, storms, babies, my knowledge of the business side of show business, and Chenford among other topics. This is my blog and I’ll rage if I want to. I’ll go back to cheering and being happy and giddy, when I see something onscreen that elicits those emotions.

MY OPINION .

All I’ll say about Chenford is this: Chenford is FAN created. Alexi may write the episodes, but the fans, the writers and the actors had to bully him into doing so. Their romance was NOT his idea.

https://www.tumblr.com/my-shields-are-down/696147306017341440/northern-neighbor-here-we-go-fans-heard-by

I share my opinion because I can. Last I checked, Tumblr isn’t an “only happy, delulu, rah rah opinions welcome here.” I’ll be negative if I’m feeling negative,

I HATED the majority of S6. The break up, the stupid ass “small doses” revert back to S1 story line, the undercurrents of chaos, the darkness, Lucy’s heartbreak., Tim’s plummet into despair and self-sabotage, etc. All of which as you pointed out were written by Alexi. Fucking HATE that guy. I don’t want to watch a slow burn AGAIN. Been there done that.

—————

If you don’t like what I have to say, then block me - and you’ll never have to experience my negativity again.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy. 🍋

————

I hope S7 is everything you want it to be.

Good luck to you.

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[wizardofarles]

one thing about canon Laurent I really admire and even envy is how constant he is. once Damen earned his trust he never took it back. what was it Damen said, something like, “when his walls went back up it was with Damen inside them”. for someone who went through what Laurent went through he’s shockingly stable in relationships

[lunabug2004]

Okay but if I get another “reasons why st5 will fail/reasons why I’m not watching st5” recommendation/TikTok/POST OF ANY KIND….. IM GONNA GO INSANE

Like, good for you ig 🤷🏼‍♀️ I couldn’t care less if you’re not watching tbh, and I respect your opinions/decisions… but don’t try to make others feel bad about still wanting to watch it. We are all humans and are all capable of making our own decisions thank you!

[alliumdykes]

The fact that when I came back from the cinema wanting to see some cool art and people talking about interesting stuff after something so flipin awesome and the first thing i see was the dream team being so fucking rude during a CHARITY EVENT for their DEAD FRIEND is honestly so disheartening.

My grandfather was so lucky to get cancer twice and survive both times, I knew someone who lost her dad to cancer. I know someone who survived childhood cancer. One of my great grandparents died of cancer, my family on both sides is extremely family oriented if he never died I would have met him. The fucking disrespect that they showed should not be laughed at, it shouldn’t be encouraged.

The fact they were playing airhorns during Technodad’s speech, one that should have been respected and really quiet durning and no one interrupting is the fucking worse. I don’t care if dteam fans say that it’s funny and Techno would have laughed because it’s not the fucking point!!!

The whole festival was a charity event in honour of their friend, and for Technodad his fucking son. No one should have gone though this. I don’t care if this comes across as rude or overreacting because the dteam need to grow the fuck up and learn that their actions have fucking consequences for once.

This isn’t supporting a brand that’s actually a scam, this isn’t saying something offensive by accident. This is being rude and disrespectful.

And it even hurts that none of their fans are going to care a single bit because I don’t fucking know maybe they’ll say “but it was a joke” or “dream has ADHD your being ableist” because none of that shit matters when you realise that neither of those things matter when it’s about respect.

These are the same fans who will defend these mother fuckers to the grave but when someone like Niki Niahchu accidentally uses avae because she doesn’t know about American history or what avae is because she lives in Germany(or any non American country because the world doesn’t revolve around you fuckers) and is called overreactive during mcc and having a lot of stress put onto her and BREAKS DOWN ON STREAM it’s ok because they think it is.

I want dteam fans to see this post and be uncomfortable, I don’t care if I’m being mean to your pretty white boys because they have been allowed to do anything with a platform that is way to big for them for too long. I’m allowed to be angry as well, I’m allowed to be mean, I’m not apologising to you if you feel sad that I’m being mean about them because they need to grow up.

Charlie had every right to tell dream to shut up during that stream.

Edit: I’m not going to be answering anymore asks about this post, I want my blog to be a personal space for me. This post wasn’t supposed to get as big as it has and just for me to rant. I’m only going to be accepting art requests and general asks and nothing about this. I’m 14 please leave me alone.

[thevikingwoman]

Hello Dragon Age people

I’m not going to post a lot about DA probably, at least not until I play, but I may comment on any news.

While I’m never a negative person, I can’t guarantee I’ll be excited and upbeat, my main mood for da4 is still skeptical and I’ll give my thoughts, good or bad, on the news.

So consider this a heads up, if you only want 100% positivity you’re always free to unfollow (I do not check my followers, it’s not weird)

[danothan]

tough pill i have to swallow is realizing that “getting better” doesn’t mean “getting to do more things,” getting better for me means taking better initiative in protecting myself. and THAT means making sure i do LESS things