#I: deserving

[darkuselesssomebody]

𝕀: 𝕕𝕖𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘 - (variants | softdark!miguel o'hara x reader)

complete masterlist | dark miguel o'hara masterlist

words || 𝟙.𝟠𝕜

series masterlist || variants

summary || in which the miguel feels like he deserves something better

a/n || starting a writing schedule. let's see how long i stick to it.

➵ part of a series; check the masterlist ^!

➵ ask if you wanna be added to a taglist

➵ heed the warnings in said masterlist, this series is 18+, and inherently dark

➵ send me requests if you have ‘em. enjoy!

warnings || angst/dark content/slight blood

ping!

miguel looked up from his food. lyla had gone off for her ... beauty sleep, or whatever the hell she called it, so he was greeted with the unfamiliar sound of a notification. usually, they would filter through her, and she'd disclose the information to him with her chattery intonation.

his eyes were a bit red. it was another late night in his apartment - well, barely an apartment. the whole thing was practically an office, he didn't even have a bed. just a couch, that he'd sleep on the one day out of the week he didn't pass out on his office chair.

he looks up at the notification.

earth-trn1042.

he hadn't heard of it before - it was one of those him and lyla had yet to visit and accumulate data on. this might be his chance.

he looked around for his suit. dammit. he'd told layla to start running the new suit prototypes, one that would cling to his body like a second skin. whatever.

he looks around the cramped, cold apartment. how sad. how lonely. he sometimes thought about what his alchemax colleagues did in their time off. with their pretty wives, their well-mannered kids. and then him. doing something... so important, but so hard. whatever.

he fits on the suit, and looks to his watch, the only thing seemingly going right for him. he looks back at the notification, checking the name before he inputted it into his watch.

earth-trn1042. here he comes.

the anomaly was shockingly primitive, considering it had managed to figure out interdimensional travel. it was a simple fix. miguel clung to the alleys of this new york - similar enough to his own but... warmer - as he caught his breath after neutralizing the threat.

there's a noise - what is that?

a grunt, a shout, a... gun shot?!

miguel sneaks through the alleyways, coming upon the scene.

"oh, what the hell..." he murmurs to himself, seeing the mugger run away down the alley. it's too late to chase after him, and the mugger's victim is already on the ground.

miguel crouches to determine if the situation was salvagable. the fingers he pressed over the victim's neck came back coated in blood and - as he believed, cynically - his pulse was nonexistent. his lips purse. what a shame. he shakes his head, exhaling deeply, as he looks up at the man's face.

his blood runs cold.

jolting back, he forgets to breathe for a moment, and when he remembers to, it comes in a sharp gasp.

it's... him. eyes glassy, cold, dead, looking back up at him, almost feeling as though they were following his movements.

"fucking hell." he mumbles, swallowing harshly, as he steps closer again. a hand goes to his mask-covered mouth.

this had to have happened sooner or later. meeting a ... variant of his. but like this? it felt too odd, it made his stomach churn in discomfort. but it wasn't like it was him. he didn't know this guy - regardless of the similarities they likely shared. he sighed - for all intents and purposes, this man was a stranger.

but that made him curious. what was similar about the two? did he work in alchemax like he did? investigate the multiverse like he did? have a lyla, like he did?

he gritted his teeth, but the curiosity got the better of him. he looks at the man's briefcase. yup, a worker at alchemax - in fact, he'd been working there longer than even miguel had. there was a lunchbox, packed diligently and some papers - from colleagues and friends alike.

his expression soured.

this miguel wasn't lonely.

he looked to the man's wrist - no dimensional travel watch. a normal wrist watch, gold frame, smooth gears. normal - and quite exactly the opposite of miguel.

his eyes caught onto a locket on the man's neck. he pulls it into his palm, shockingly careful with the delicate silver chain. he clicks it open, and he's sure the most beautiful woman he's ever seen pictured inside, along with an adorable young girl. they've got the brightest smiles, and she's cradling the girl.

he can't tear his eyes off it, an anger bubbling in his chest. this... this miguel - weak enough to die to a fucking petty thief - didn't deserve this beautiful wife, this adorable daughter. he didn't deserve more than the strong, smart, capable man that he, the real miguel, was.

there's a strange tug at his heart. and he feels his morality, his sympathy, and his empathy to the man in front of him wane. taking the locket, he grips it a little tighter in his broad palm.

he deserves it.

he's a good man.

he didn't need to be lonely.

slowly, deliberately, he clasps the locket around his neck.

her evening had been packed. since picking up gabriella, she'd shuffled around the kitchen cooking dinner, mopped the floors, called miguel, served gabriella dinner, tucked her into bed, called miguel, washed the dishes from dinner, cleaned the kitchen counter-tops, and called miguel.

she bit her nail anxiously.

this wasn't like him at all - staying late at work was a recurring trait of his, but he always picked up his phone when she called. her fingers nervously dance over her contacts, trying to call him once more.

nothing happens, and the phone rings out, until she hears his voicemail.

she rubs her cheeks fervently, feeling a deep sense of unsettlement wash over her, and she decides to take a shower to calm herself down. the warm water always seems to melt her worries away. sighing softly as the steam builds, she listens to the playlist of soothing songs she'd put on to bask in familiarity.

humming to herself, and attempting to keep all her senses engaged so she didn't have to think, she didn't hear the front door open.

miguel walks into the unfamiliar house, looking around. it's... homely. decorations, throw pillows, pictures hung on the walls. of the family, beaming. he inhales the scent of lemon disinfecting cleaner - as opposed to the one he used at home, full of chemicals, and with just as rancid of a smell.

he walks up the stairs to the bedrooms slowly. he passes ... what he must assume to be the daughter's room. it's got decorations on the front, little stars and hearts littered around fancy calligraphy of her name. gabriella.

the light's on in the next bedroom. following it, miguel steps into a room with a king bed, large closet. he looks down at his spidersuit, turning to the closet to change into a pair of the man's slacks and a white button-up.

there's humming and music overshadowing the sound of dripping water. someone's in the shower.

then, the water stops.

she steps out of the shower, oblivious to the man in her and her husband's room, beginning to dry herself off. still humming to herself, she doesn't notice miguel until she glances up to look at the mirror, which happens to catch him from his position just outside the bathroom door. watching her.

she squeak in shock, whipping around, and her heart rate returns to normal when she sees who it is. miguel! he's here! very sullen, and tired-looking, but there.

"miguel!" she beams, "oh my god, you've not... returned my calls, i got worried..." she murmurs, sighing in relief. his face remains stoic.

"i... lost my phone." he mutters, and she hums, starting to place lotion on herself, so relieved he's here, she's not giving his impassive demeanor much attention.

she doesn't notice his lingering, memorizing gaze along her body after she places her towel to dry. "can you do my back?" she asks casually, handing him the lotion and turning away from him. he hesitates, and she smiles, "everything okay?"

he snaps out of it, and she hears the squirt of the lotion out of the bottle, as he smears it over her back, his touch lasting longer than necessary, but that's usual.

"i'm fine." he mumbles, before pausing, "how's the... our daughter?" she knows his phrasing is weird. he must be very tired.

"gabi? she's fine, my love. she's sleeping, she had a great day at school." she begins to list off about gabriella's day, starting to slip her pajamas on, "and how about you? how was your day?" she finally turns to look up at him. after putting on her shirt, her hands go to cradle his cheeks, thumbing his seemingly more prominent eyebags. his nose is sharper, hair shorter.

"did you get a haircut?" she giggles, and he doesn't respond right away.

"yeah." he finally forces out, and she sighs, taking it at face value. his stubble is gone too. he must have gotten it shaved. she pouts.

"grow it out again, it looked good." his lips seem to quirk in a smile, and she ghosts her thumb over them. after a moment, she goes on her toes to press a soft kiss to his lips. it's meant to be chaste, but he chases her touch, pulling her back in for a longer, hungrier kiss. laughing, she gently presses against his chest before he can go too far, "it's been a long day for you, baby. let's go to bed." she whispers.

he hesitates for a long moment - deeply reluctant - as he stares intensely into her eyes. finally seceding, he moves out of the way so that she can step into the bedroom. she helps him out of his shirt, grabbing a pair of sweats for him as he peels off the slacks he'd just... essentially stolen.

as she lets him change, she snuggles into the covers, scrolling on her phone. he soon joins her, and she puts her phone away, rolling to hug his warm torso as he lays next to her. she runs a finger lazily over his bare chest, groaning.

"you got rid of your chest hair, too? i didn't even know barbers did that..." she sighs, "will you consult me before you do things like this?" she grumbles, and she feels the low rumble of a laugh in his chest.

"alright." he murmurs. he says her name once, and he says it slowly, like he's sounding it out.

"how sleepy are you?" she teases, but that doesn't deter him as he repeats her name a few times, "you're being weird." she murmurs into his chest affectionately.

"you've got a pretty name." he finally says.

"took you this long to figure it out?" but it makes her heart flutter, even the small compliments she receives from her husband always elating her.

after a moment, she starts listing off what they need to do the next day, and he just stares at her, thumbing the locket. suddenly, he pulls her into a kiss to see how she'll react. she's surprised, but kisses him back.

she figures he's needy, but she forces him to sleep.

"i love you," he hesitates

"i love you too, mi amor."

[desperatepleasures]

one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[gemboundprism]

1959 chevy impala that i made in spore, inspired by @making-you-in-spore

[kochei0]

I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

[agoodflyting]

David Tennant pissing off the Prime Minister bc he told government officials to stfu over their anti-trans bigotry and Michael Sheen literally poisoning himself investigating corporations dumping toxic chemicals in underprivileged areas is NOT the energy I expected from 2024 but oh man am I here for it.

[kensatou]

i watch baseball for the side quests

update: i think you should look at the reblogs for more important baseball hijinks

[sexygaywizard]

new yuri image for desperate lesbians just dropped

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The math just adds up!

[dirtytransmasc]

the men and boys are innocent too.

we cry "the innocent women and children" to appeal to the masses, to try and force their sympathy, but the men and boys are innocent too.

I have seen sons crying out for their mothers, their fathers, their siblings. I have seen them break down at the loss of their families. I have seen them cling to their dead and grieve.

I have seen fathers cradle their dead children, seen them kiss their faces and hold their little hands. I have seen them faint with grief when asked to identify the dead. I have seen them carry their sons and daughters. I have seen them fasting to provide what little they can for their families.

I have seen men and boys digging through the rubble with just their bare hands, I have seen them comforting strangers, playing with children, rocking them, hushing them, even if the face of such imminent danger. I have seen them cry, seen them grieve, seen them break down into each other's arms, seen them be selfless, beyond selfless, becoming something I don't have a word for.

I have seen the men who are doctors refuse to leave their patients, even when they have no medicine or supplies to give them, even when they're threatened with bombings. I have seen fathers who have lost all their children pick orphans up into their arms and proclaim them their child so they are not alone. I have seen men and boys digging pets out of the rubble.

the men are innocent too. the men and boys are being hurt and killed too. the men and boys are grieving too. the men and boys are scared too. the men and boys are fighting to save their people too. the men and boys deserve to be fought for too.

[artsymeeshee]

The magic 8-ball

[beebfreeb]

[elliesbelle]

emily gwen, the creator of the sunset lesbian flag that we’ve come to commonly use, still continues to live in poverty.

multi-billion dollar companies have used their design and made profit from it, and yet they have not seen a cent for their creation.

i’ve been friends with emily for years, and i have not once seen them be financially stable the entire time. i’ve seen them homeless, unemployed, starving. right now, they need our help more than ever.

please consider donating to emily’s ko-fi, especially if you’ve used their design to create something and profited from it.

[kosmogrl]

teenage me and current me are both depressed directionless girls, the only difference is that current me started appreciating the beauty of the world and realized how good it is to be alive despite it all

[wolfythewitch]

A little drawing of them. For me. As a treat

[whats-this-mustelid]

I just think that 'animals are living intelligent creatures that have feelings and deserve to be respected' and 'when done properly farming is beneficial to both people and animals and there's nothing wrong with raising and killing animals for food, clothing, and other products' are concepts that very much can and should coexist