#I wrote way too much
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How would genderbent wammy 's boys be in your opinion.
Im so mad bc I keep like starting to write and then forgetting to save it to my drafts and then I have to write it all over again but anyways
I did talk about Mello here but I'll talk about the others here just for you honey bunny
Now note that I don't think any of their personalities would change very much at all, mostly just behavioral things because their environments would be slightly different. Break because I'm gonna write a lot
For Near, I don't think Wammy's house is going to separate boys and girls at all and whoever's running that whole detective system thingy within wammy's is pretty objective to anything and just focuses on intelligence but if Near has to get approval or work with any outside agencies or organization I imagine he's going to have to work harder. Near is like a natural talent, and of course he does work but he's also like a natural genius, so here I'd like to apply to him the Burnt Out Gifted Kid Effect™. Near wouldn't have to work as hard under Wammy's management but he would for other organizations in order to get approval and gain his title, and I believe this would lead to lethargy in his case. Me personally, when I'm made to work harder than I usually do I'm more prone to procrastinating and lazing around and I think he would too. He might also be more prone to stress and anxiety -- growing up as a teenage girl while also trying to be the greatest detective in the world is like if Life came at you with two giant hammers and just smashed you into the ground.
Both L and Near would be referred to as "he" under anonymity (remember how the task force just automatically assumed the second Kira was a he? Yeah).
For L I think more socially -- he might have similar struggles to Mello and Near in terms of detective work but unlike Mello and Near, we have seen him in a very social setting (To-oh) so I'd like to address that more with him even if he's not really all that social. Not sure if you've noticed, you probably have, but most of the girls at To-oh were wearing skirts, so L would already be more of an outlier than he is anyway. It would be difficult for him to sit the way he does with a skirt on. Additionally L is very hygienic but he obviously has body hair (not that it's not hygienic but some people do see it that way) and i dont think he would shave because Watari already does all the other shit and he thinks it's functionally unnecessary. So imagine someone sees that and how different it would be as a female vs male. That and many of his other behaviors.
L generally isn't taken seriously but I think if he were female that would intensify. Especially with Light, who would probably think something like "There's no way L is a wOmAn" and he'd probably take it as a much more major offense when L wins a round of their mental murder chess. Also if we're thinking meta, he might even be sexualized in the canon sources, and Near as well. Mello would just definitely be sexualized there's no questioning it.
Matt would be essentially the same. I can't say too much because nobody knows too much about him. If it were up to me, and it is, Matt would have body issues and be a raging lesbian and that's about it. He probably would also get the shit bullied out of him while online gaming and Mello threatens to find people's houses and blow them up.
#i wrote way too much#brevity is the soul of wit?#nah#no thanks#death note#dn#mihael keehl#mello#nate river#l lawliet#mello death note#matt jeevas#death note headcanons#death note au#genderswap#alternate universe#light yagami#wammy boys#wammys house#mail jeevas#near death note
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Writes tons of crap for this secret Trigun project instead of sleeping
No one is gonna see it for months. By then the fans won’t even be thinking about Trigun anymore.
Also it’s too long and I need to condense it badly.
#I'm not kidding it is 6am I have church this morning#I did not go to sleep#I'm going to be a mess#but i finally got some work done on this thing#it's a BEAST#I wrote way too much#I don't need this much#whyyyy#trigun#trigun stampede#trigun maximum#not art
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Potential Lower Decks fanfic and fanfic-adjacent ideas (and it turns out some talk about writing insecurity, which is the first four paragraphs so you can skip if you want)
LONG INTRO
I'm about to type a LOT of stuff. This whole post got longer than I thought it would.
So, I have my AO3 account, finally. I don't have any other creative projects. What's stopping me from writing some fanfic already?
MYSELF. I AM THE PROBLEM.
Okay, I'm exaggerating for comedic effect! I will admit to still being nervous about writing something that's not my own brainchild, though. "What if I get it wrong?" I ask myself. "What if it doesn't sound anything like the show?" I am working on convincing myself that neither question is that important. I may not get it EXACTLY right, and it may sound more like my versions of the characters than the canonical versions, but...who cares? As long as I'm doing my best and being true to the spirit, isn't that good enough? That's what I'm trying to tell myself. And also, self, no, it's not going to sound like the show. That doesn't make it WRONG. You're not a professional comedy writer, are you? No. You're not writing this for a paycheck, are you? No. So stop worrying about it!
I'm trying to tell myself this.
So, anyway, that was a long intro to say that I'm going to now do the other thing that writers do when they are scared to actually write: I'm going to talk about writing. And also plan a research project!
LOWER DECKS RESEARCH PROJECT
Actually, let's talk about the research project first. I thought I might do a second rewatch of Lower Decks, with the goal of writing dossiers for each character. Gather known facts, of course, but also take special note of dialogue and interaction. What the characters say, how they say it, what kinds of jokes are usually targeted at them, how they are with specific characters, you get it. A real resource for my own writing, and something I'd also like to put out there for others who might want to use it. Seems like a lot of work for fanfic, but I do love having a project, and this is a long-term one. Plus, it will train me to make detailed characters of my own. Also plus, it will make me feel like an anthropologist or a spy, gathering intel on my subjects, and I am a creep like that.
Okay, and now to talk about what I might want to write!
ACTUAL FANFIC IDEAS
I've already talked about some ideas I've had. Mostly, the AU stuff. My mind keeps going back to it, so it seems it may become a reality someday. I was thinking of changing the tentative name of "Spell Trek" that I came up with for my fantasy AU, since it's the name of a board game, but I figured it doesn't matter that much because it's not like I'm selling these stories, and I don't think there will be market confusion. Haven't come up with much else beyond some scattered thoughts for the setting, but I'm pretty sure it will be a straightforward conversion. You know, swap sci-fi for fantasy. Probably have them all flying around in airships instead of spaceships. Might be interplanar travel instead of interstellar. Phasers? Well, that's just a stun wand. Shields? That doesn't really change, it's just a magic shield instead of a science one. The biggest question I have right now (just popped into my head) is how to handle "warp." I have to figure out how planar travel works, I guess. I'd also have to think about whether I want to keep all the species intact or kind of play around with them a bit. Wouldn't be that hard to make Vulcans elves, or Klingons orcs. Plenty of worldbuilding to do, is the point.
The second idea I had, which is actually still applicable to the first, is the matter of story format. I've been toying around with different ways to write lately. I COULD just write in the traditional prose way, like you would find in a book. DIalogue, action, description. First or third person. You know.
I was thinking, though, that I might want to write scripts instead. I've toyed around with it when writing original fiction. I don't really follow the proper TV format, though. Very loose style. But I figured, if I wanted to emulate the show as closely as possible, then maybe a script makes sense for me. Not sure how many people want to read scripts, but maybe SOMEONE out there would like them.
Oh, on a related note, I was also thinking of writing stories as transcripts. Similar to the script, but particular style. I had three possible notions to go with this idea:
The Lower Deck Five (T'Lyn for the win), or maybe just a couple of them, decide to make a piece of ancient Earth entertainment known as a "podcast." "The Cerritos Experience," or something like that. Just a place to talk about missions, gossip, whatever. So, my stories would be transcripts of their podcasts. I think this one is my favorite.
Stories told through personal logs. Could just be one character's, or could be multiple characters' talking about the same events.
Perhaps Captain Freeman decides that she needs visual records of all missions from now on, so now away teams wear bodycams or have drones or something. Transcripts of the videos that they produce.
I don't know, there's just something I like about the simplicity of scripts and transcripts. You still have to have a good story to tell, but it feels easier, in a way. For my, anyway. Eh, I'll probably end up writing traditional prose, too, but I do want to experiment with one of these ideas (probably the podcast).
Sorry I wrote so much. Hey, you didn't HAVE to read it. Thanks if you did, though. Let me know if any of this sounds interesting.
#fanfic#fanfiction#lower decks#star trek lower decks#writing insecurity#spell trek#gotta get that tag started for when I MAKE IT BIG#AU#star trek au#lower decks au#i wrote way too much#and now I still am in the tags#somebody stop me
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At risk of writing even more about River, I’ll share a little about Dr. Brooke Jones, since I’m finally touching my Overwatch stories again after—holy cats it’s been years
1. Brooke Jones, born Tabitha Dyer, age 37, is an English national of Irish descent, who’s made a bit of a career out of being an accidental asshole
2. Scouted from her phD program at 23 for MI6, she would later regret becoming a ghost. Having her identity erased and all ties to her family cut, the price for allure, wealth and adventure was unfathomable loneliness.
3. She left field work for research and development not long after the Hanamura incident, the mission she regrets most of all
4. Her arc is almost entirely about atonement. How you can’t always ask the people you’ve wronged to forgive you, you just have to try to forgive yourself and do your best to do right by them from now on
5. She’s hard to get along with, burned a lot of bridges, waved the flag of a corrupt country while believing in their cause, taken part in the destabilization of nations—and she knows that.
(Bonus fact number 6 because I got too excited)
6. She’s not so blind anymore, wiser and older, she wants to do better. Something good for once. She’s left England, no longer one of the Queen’s dogs, and she travels to Gibraltar at the request of an overwatch scientist who knows a defector when he sees one. There’s no way to atone for what she’s done but she’s taken the first step: quitting her job.
Reblog this post with 5 facts about your current OC muse!
I’m trying to learn more about y’alls OCs, but stream-lining it into one place.
#well this got out of hand#I wrote way too much#ocappreciation#oc fanfiction#overwatch oc#overwatch fanfiction#overwatch#silkenspeaks
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whyd you have to do all that man
#dsmp#dream smp#c!tommy#c!dream#c!primeboys#c!discduo#actually i wrote a bunch of stuff in the tags but theres too much. i have too much to say so im just gonna leave it be#i put way too much thought into this so any small detail was prob intentional umm overanalyze as much as you want#ok i lied i might make a post or smth because brother my mind is a cage#also can you tell im a landscape artist at heart LOL#fanart#artsplice
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can you imagine being thirteen and having the world at your fingertips. everyone loves you - why shouldn’t they? you’re the epitome of a good girl, the ideal, the popular cheerleader type who gets The Guy. you giggle and you flirt with the football players and you have sleepovers with your friends (who don’t really feel like your friends but you’re all popular so you have to like each other, right?). you do your makeup and you bat your eyelashes and everything is perfect.
and then you start growing horns. you start looking like the devil - and you might as well be, the way everyone turns on you, starts looking at you as if you’re a freak, a monster. and, well, if everyone’s going to treat you as such, you might as well play the part, right?
so you rebel against your parents (if they’re not lying about that, too). you go out and you buy a bass guitar and you pluck at the strings until your fingers bleed. it’s better than listening to the arguments downstairs. you transform into people you’re not to pretend you could really be someone instead of the shell you are now. you flirt with guys twice your age to pretend you still have it in you, even if it feels hollow. you grin and you bear it but it’s hollow, in the end.
if you can’t be perfection anymore, why bother being anything?
(and then you meet the most wonderful people in your life. and they accept you as you are and don’t ask you to change. but you find yourself changing anyway, because they make you feel like you can be something. like maybe it’s worth it again. and you finally get The Girl. and maybe life isn’t perfection anymore, but maybe perfection is overrated, anyway.)
#hiiii i’m insane about fig All The Time actually#no it’s not bc i relate to her way too much why would you say that#no im not projecting here wdym. i would never#(yes it is and yes i am btw. but like. lowkey)#also it’s 1am when i’m writing this so if it’s incomprehensible that’s why !!#dimension 20#fantasy high#fig faeth#figueroth faeth#wrote this almost two months ago b4 junior year came out so if there’s any inaccuracies that’s why <3
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birthday boy | hsh
pairing: idol boyfriend!seunghan x fem!reader
word count: 3.3k
author's note: idk if any of you know it, but Seunghan is actually my first bias in riize. since his hiatus, i miss him so much and each day that passes without his presence in the group, i want him to come back even more. i know there's a bunch of ot6 briizes and i honestly don't really care who everyone chooses to stan. we're all different and have different tastes and likings, i get it. but i'm still holding out hope for him to comeback and that feeling won't die down untill i see his beautiful smile while he's on a stage along with his members again. this work is to showcase my love for him, nothing else. and also for all the ot7 briizes and hongjjangus that miss him just as much as me. i hope you like it, babes 🐈⬛🫧🧡
contents: established relationship, aged up!seunghan. mentions of riize members. set in the future, on seunghan's 25th birthday. he is active in the group and riize has been in the scene for a few years. smut and fluff. seunghan wants to have his cake and eat it too, lol. fingering, sex in the shower. sex without protection, cumming inside (don't be like them).
you can also read this work on my ao3, if you’d like
Seunghan is needy and dramatic towards you on a daily basis. But on his birthday, it always gets worse.
He ends every request with a “Please? It’s my birthday”, pulls you to sit on his lap every chance he gets and asks for smooches and attention each half an hour that passes by. It’s adorable and charming, and you always find yourself a willing victim to his whims, kissing and hugging him whenever he desires.
However, in times like this, when you’re rushing to get everything done for the small dinner party you’re hosting for his 25th birthday, it does annoy you a little bit. You’re already preoccupied about failing this day for him because the cake wasn’t yet delivered by the bakery and you only remembered to put the wine inside the freezer twenty minutes ago. At least, there’s still forty minutes left until the time you set for his members to show up and you hope that the wine is cold by then and the cake is inside your fridge.
You’re thinking about all of this while you’re finishing setting the fancy cutlery on the table. Seunghan should be checking on the lasagna inside the oven, but instead he catches you midway through your task, rubbing his chest on your back and his hands on your hips as he starts to place kisses on the side of your neck.
“Babe, the lasagna,” you warn.
“I just checked it. It’s still cooking,” he whispers over the wetness his spit gathered on your skin, making you shiver. He runs his nose from the side of your throat to your ear. “You smell so freaking good.”
“No, I don’t,” you say, closing your eyes, letting your body sag a little against his and reaching a hand back to his neck, keeping his face still on your neck while he resumes peppering kisses on your skin. “I still haven’t showered.”
“You always smell good for me, baby,” he says before nipping your earlobe. You can’t help but sigh from the attention he’s giving you. “And I can help you shower.”
His obvious naughty intentions make you open your eyes and spin around, your hands going to his chest to push him slightly away from you.
“No way,” you shake your head. “I know you’ll be distracting me and not helping at all. Plus, you’re already ready and someone needs to answer the delivery truck when they bring the cake.”
Seunghan gives you his best puppy look and steps closer to you again, his hands going around you to encircle your waist. “Baby, please,” he whines. “We spent the whole day organizing this place. I haven’t been able to fuck you yet and it’s my birthday.”
You chuckle and look up at him, resting your chin on his chest and squeezing his cheeks. “Well, you should’ve thought about that before hosting a dinner party at our place, birthday boy.”
He whines again, pressing his forehead on yours whilst his agile fingers start bunching up the skirt of your old saggy dress, one hand pressing on the underside of your left thigh as if he’s preparing to lift you over the table. “I could just slide right in like this. I promise I’ll be quick.”
“No, Seunghan,” you say, voice firm and serious. He gives you a defeated look and steps back, his hands dropping to his sides. “I’m sorry, baby. But we’re already late as it is. We can do all the shenanigans you want later, okay?”
You get on your tiptoes and press your hands on his shoulders to drop a quick peck to his lips, but Seunghan holds you there, his fingers closing on the back of your neck to turn the kiss into a heated one. You wrap your hands around his neck to give him a little taste of what he’s been craving, letting him kiss you the way he wants, his tongue licking up every crevice of your mouth. When he pulls back, you have to blink your eyes open to wake up your hazy mind.
“Okay,” he whispers, a sly smile playing on the corner of his lips as he watches the reaction only one really good kiss pulled out of you. “Go get ready.”
You gulp and nod your head. “Finish setting the table up for me, please? And don’t forget about the lasagna, too. Oh, and–”
“And the cake should be delivered any minute,” he completes for you. “I know, baby, I know. Now go get yourself prettier for my day.”
You nod again, giving him one last peck on his lips and finally turning around. Seunghan takes the moment to pat your butt lightly and you laugh back at him while you walk to your bedroom. After getting to the en suite bathroom, you turn the water to the temperature you like and hastily slip out of your clothes. You sigh when you step into the shower and the warm water hits your head and shoulders, massaging the knots on the back of your neck.
After you shampoo your hair and begin to cover yourself in soap, you hear the door to the bathroom open up and spin around to see Seunghan a few meters away from the glass enclosure separating you both, his fingers quickly removing his denim jacket and tugging his black t-shirt up.
“Seunghan, no!” You exclaim, watching him slide the shirt out of his body and dropping it on the floor along with your clothes. “I told you, I–”
“Babe, I already turned off the oven and put the lasagna to rest on the counter. I also texted the guys saying they should come an hour later,” he explains, moving his hands to his belt buckle to unfasten it and then zipping down the fly on his pants. “Wonbin hyung agreed to pick up the cake. Already let the bakery know it, too.”
You open your mouth at him in shock and your pink sponge falls from your hand onto the shower tiles. “No, you didn’t.”
“Oh, but I did.” Seunghan laughs at you and resumes taking his jeans off, his briefs going sliding down his legs along with it. He steps out of the fabric and his semi-hard cock springs free, the head of it slapping along his thigh. You bite your bottom lip whilst he slides the shower door open just enough for you to see him in all his glory, perfect body exposed bare right in front of your eyes. “So what it’s gonna be, baby? Are we going to fuck or do you prefer to keep pretending you don’t want this as much as I do?”
“Come in,” you say through gritted teeth and he laughs again, stepping inside and sliding the glass door back on its place. You wind your arms around his shoulders and press yourself against him. “You’re a pain in my ass, Hong Seunghan. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, and you love me,” he mutters while he holds you, splaying both of his hands on your ass.
“Unfortunately, I do,” you whisper back, pulling him in for a kiss.
Seunghan’s lips have always been addictive to you. You love how full and beautiful they are, how his smiles come easily when he quirks the sides of them up just a bit and especially how soft and moist they become while he’s kissing you. You always get lost in the feeling, biting on his bottom lip and drawing pretty sounds out of him. You’re so lost in him at this moment that you don’t even notice how his hands snake down your body, gripping on your flesh until his fingers find the place in between your legs.
He spreads you open with his fingers and you moan, your lips disconnecting with his. He laughs darkly as his forefinger rubs on your clit and you hold onto his shoulders for stability.
“You tried to deny me like that but yet you get this wet from just a few kisses?” He says while he watches your face contorting in pleasure.
“I was trying to be responsible,” you reply, trying to keep your moaning to a minimum while it’s still so early in the game. “Instead of you, who only thinks with your dick.”
Seunghan smiles, fingers massaging over your hole and trying to coax louder moans out of you. “That’s just your effect on me, sweetheart. I can’t help it.”
“I don’t know about that. Maybe you’re just a horndo–” You get cut off because of course Seunghan chooses that exact moment to insert two of his fingers inside of you, making the words on your lips turn into a groan and your head loll back.
“What were you saying, baby?” He asks slyly over your exposed neck, pumping his fingers in and out of you with precision. How can he be so fucking good at this?
You gulp down the saliva that collects in your throat and scrunch your eyes while you bask in the feeling of him pleasuring you. “Nothing.”
“That’s what I thought,” he replies with a smile, moving you to press your back against the bathroom wall and reaching down to wrap a hand around one of your thighs, hooking it up around his waist. You press the arch of your foot on his ass to pull him closer to you and soon enough his dick is pressed in between your bodies and he’s rutting on your lower belly. “That’s it, such a good girl for me.”
You move your hand down to cover his pretty cock, pumping him in your fist the best you can while Seunghan distracts you by scissoring his fingers inside your cunt. You try to look down to see what you’re doing, but Seunghan’s head eclipses your visions when he starts dropping kisses on the valley of your breasts. His lips move to one of your perk nipples and you moan out loud when he sucks it into his mouth, flicking the bud with his tongue. Your pace falters on his length and he pulls your hand away from it to intertwine your fingers together, resting them on the coldness of the bathroom tiles beside your head.
“Hani, it’s your birthday,” you say, and he looks up at you with your boob still inside his mouth. “I should be the one pleasuring you.”
He releases your nipple with a pop, then sinks his teeth on the flesh of your other breast. “But you are pleasuring me, baby. Doing whatever I want with you is all I need.”
You sigh when he licks over your neglected nipple, his tongue tracing around the areola over and over again until he gets tired of it and suctions on that one, too. He keeps the unrelenting pace of his fingers inside of you and moves his thumb up your clit again to rub on it.
“But I want to do more for you,” you whisper, starting to thrust your hips up against his hand. Your head already feels dizzy and your vision starts to get hazy with how much he’s overwhelming your senses. You feel that any moment now you might snap.
Seunghan releases his nipple from your mouth t at the same moment the revolutions down your clit get faster, and you can’t stop your moans from echoing around the restroom anymore while he kisses his way up to your lips again.
“Then you can suck me off after dinner, okay?” He mutters, his natural foxy eyes glinting at you and his mouth drinking up your sounds. “You’re close, right?”
“So close, Hani,” you cry out, gripping his hand tightly on yours and tugging on his hair with your other one.
He smiles at you and presses his lips to yours two times. Then, he mutters, “Cum for me now, pretty girl.”
It’s ridiculous that that’s all it takes to get you there. But either way, your orgasm washes over you, the tingling forming in your belly spreading through your limbs and head while your walls convulse around Seunghan’s fingers. He still keeps his work in your pussy while you scream and drop your lips to bite on his neck to give you something to do.
“That’s it, my love. You look so pretty when you fall apart. I want to watch this for the rest of my life,” he whispers in your ear while you sink your teeth on his flesh.
Once there’s no energy left in your body and you’re babbling incoherently on his skin, he slides his hand up to lift your chin and press your head back on the wall. His fingers wipe the drool from the corner of your mouth and you smell your juices on them, your tongue instinctively darting out to lick at them.
“Shit, baby, you got me so hard already,” he heaves while you suck his digits into your mouth, limp hand searching for his cock again. “There’s no need for that.”
You only release his fingers from your mouth after pressing little kisses on the tips of each one, then you smile at him and wrap your hand around his dick, slapping it against your folds to share your wetness and his precum with each other. “You’re going to fuck me now, birthday boy?”
“Are you up for it already?” He asks, trying to convey worry through his little groans and expletives. “I don’t wanna do too much too soon.”
“I don’t care, you can overstimulate me all you want,” you reply back, hitting his dick on your clit to show him that you’re serious. “I just need your dick inside me, Hani.”
“Fuck yeah,” he groans at both your words and how you guide his dick to your entrance, your cunt sucking his fat head inside. “I’ll fuck you dumb, baby.”
“Be my guest,” you moan back, feeling him slide all the way in one go and bottoming out, your walls stretching to accommodate his heavy girth inside.
Seunghan slides out and inside of you slowly only three times. Then he sets a merciless rhythm, hitting you with smooth, fast and hard thrusts. You wrap your other leg around him and he holds you up with his strong legs and arms, hands grasping your back and ass cheeks. You tug on his hair, kiss his cheeks, nip on his lips and suck on his neck and chest while he keeps fucking you through it all. The wet sounds of his dick fleetly moving in and out of your cunt and your skin slapping together bounce around the walls, becoming the back tracking for the harmony of moans you voice out together.
He doesn’t falter for a minute, not even when you reach down to squeeze his balls. Instead of easing down his flow, he spreads one of your legs apart, securing it to the wall behind you while he scrunches his nose and gazes down to watch how your cunt clutches to his cock every time he pulls back and your hand fondles his testicles.
Seunghan is giving you his everything. Hoisting you up, holding you together, pining you to the wall and fucking you deliciously. Ruining you. His arms bulge and his legs flex while he does it and you can see sweat forming on his forehead. The water still falling from the shower hits his shoulder blades and splash warm droplets on your skins and the shower doors, like it’s painting freckles on the scene, covering you both in the marks of your lovemaking.
You think he never looked as beautiful as he does right now.
“Seunghan,” you call for him and he looks at you with lust and love swimming inside his eyes. You run a hand over the fringe that falls on his forehead, slicking it back and then rubbing your fingers on his cheek bone. Handsome as hell. You can’t quite believe this man is all yours. “I’m close. I want you to cum inside, okay?”
He nods fervently and presses kisses on your hand that’s still on his face. “Yeah, baby, you got it,” he says, his voice faltering slightly.
Just then he slows down the drive of his hips, moving his legs and balancing himself again in between your thighs until he finds the new angle he’s searching for. Your breath hitches when it seems like he slides even deeper inside your pussy. The head of his cock starts to hit that amazing spongy spot inside you and he smiles victoriously when you’re reduced to a blubbering mess. When his thumb rubs on your clit, joining his dick in his effort to make you mad, you’re done for.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you moan out, squeezing your eyes shut. Your legs tremble and you try to hold it together, but your peak is coming at you faster and faster. “Baby, I think I’m gonna– I’m cum–”
You’re interrupted by Seunghan’s lips crashing on yours and his tongue being shoved inside your mouth. Your orgasm rips through your body like an out-of-control train flying off its tracks. It’s brisk and powerful, leaving your heart racing and your breath short, your mouth hanging open while you moan your boyfriend’s name until your voice feels raw.
“That’s it, baby. That’s a good girl, cumming all over my cock,” Seunghan says, his eyes locking on yours when your jaw clenches. “I’m right behind you, baby. Going to give you my cum now.”
“I want it, Hani, please do it,” you request with a hoarse voice, fighting your words out through the soreness in your throat.
“Oh, shit,” he groans, his hips jerking and stuttering, his cock swelling up and twitching inside you. “Yeah, fucking take it, baby.”
He spills inside your cunt and you moan deeply one more time before he slumps against you, his forehead pressing on your shoulder while your pussy milks him dry. He’s still holding you up, but the hand that was pining your thigh to the wall is now limp, and you move your leg back to wrap around him, tightening your hold of him to keep him inside you as long as possible.
Seunghan moans some more in your ear and you press reassuring kisses on the moles over his shoulders while you both calm down and catch your breaths. When you feel his gasps mellowing out, you press your fingers on his nape and pull his head back to look into his eyes.
“Hi,” you whisper and he gives you the sweetest smile ever, the lines around his eyes cracking and his whisker dimples appearing on his cheeks. “Happy birthday, Hani.”
He hums happily and rests his forehead on yours, dropping five consecutive pecks on your mouth. “Thank you, baby. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” you say, pressing your lips on his to give him a full kiss. He responds eagerly, tongue stroking yours and hands sliding to the back of your thighs to kee you up.
You feel his dick stirring inside you again when he pulls back and says, “You think we can go for round two before the guys show up?”
You laugh incredulously at him and unwrap your legs from his body, pushing on his shoulders until he pulls out of you. He whimpers pathetically at the loss of contact and you lift a finger to shut him up.
“Don’t you start, Hong Seunghan,” you admonish him.
He just pouts and catches your finger with his hand, puts it inside of his mouth and starts to suck on it, looking at you wickedly as he does so, all that while his cum starts to seep out of you. Your breath hitches at the scene and because his remnants now sticking to your thighs. But you keep your cool, withdrawing your finger from between his lips until it’s out with a pop. You give his chest a slap and then turn, moving to stand under the shower head to clean yourself.
However, before you can get the soap on your body, his arms are around you again and his lips are ghosting over the shell of your ear. “I’ll be quick, baby. Please, it’s my birthday.”
You roll your eyes at him. He’s insatiable. And he’s definitely going to be late for his own birthday party.
happy birthday, hani, i love you! If you liked this work, consider sharing your thoughts with me on the comments or my ask box. thanks for reading! 🧡
#can you guys tell i wrote this on a rush?#because i did#there's probably many mistakes#but i'll get back to correct them later#just wanted to post it while it's still his birthday#happy hani day everyone!!!!#if you can pls show seunghan how much he's loved#in whichever way you're able too#thank you for those sticking with him after such a long and unecessary hiatus#i love you guys#he'll come back to us soon#i know he will#Amanda writes riize#amanda writes seunghan#seunghan smut#riize smut#riize x reader#riize x you#seunghan x reader#seunghan x you#seunghan x y/n#riize fic#riize fics#seunghan fic#seunghan fanfic#riize fanfic#riize seunghan#happy seunghan day#kpop smut#kpop fanfic
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I took 6 years to finish my bachelor and now 3,5 to finish my master.
I just this final streak keeping my goal in mind: I don't need to be the best, or have the greatest grade. I want my degree.
In Design jobs, you also barely need to show your grades. People care about your portfolio and your personality. If you can fit in the team and show you are willing to work, learn and improve is way more relevant while getting a job.
But yeah, the feeling of not doing my best and failing to reach my expectations, it sucks. And that is also ADHD, or at least comes quite often together with it. Fear of rejection, of failure, of trying hard and not doing well. I take responsibility for it, sure, but I also learned that I don't need to be alone in that. I could ask for help when I needed, at uni or from family and friends.
”Failing doesn’t mean you have to quit”- Tips from a university student with ADHD📚
So I’ve been in uni for like….*squints at calendar* almost 5 years, (yikes) and in that time I’ve learned the value of failing.
More specificly I failed a lot of tests, handed in a bunch of assignments late and what I learned from these experiences is that failing an exam…or several of them, is not the end of the world and perhaps more importantly not the end of your plans for the future. I was convinced at several points during these years that because I failed an exam or even a whole course, it would be the end of my academic future and possibly career. I never thought I’d ever graduate but here I am five years later with a bachelor’s degree and now on my way to a master’s.
Failing doesn’t mean you have to quit what you’re doing or give up on your dreams.
It just means you have to get up and try again and if it’s one thing people with ADHD are good at it’s trying. We’re always trying to do better, improve our lives, and as long as you keep trying you’ve never truly failed.
#I wrote way too much#adhdblr#adhd#mental health#adult adhd#adhd study#adhd advice#study#education#university
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pairing: hoshina soushirou x gn!reader (no prns)
request: Hii im the anon who ask for the wips and i saw the blurbs you have. IM VERY MUCH HOOKED with the third ones where hoshina loves reader's smile🥹 relating to that maybe i would like to add(if you want, but feel free to do seperate if you want) soft moments with hoshina x reader who felt like she being the most pessimistic person regarding love(not anti but just felt like she doesn't deserve it) so she is on denial when hoshina make a move on her
notes: reader is usually rather energetic, talkative reader, hoshina thinks you are "beautiful" at some point, TYSM FOR THE REQ!! sorry it took so long omg
wc: 1300
Something was wrong— terribly wrong. There was no way someone would want you, let alone your vice-captain who could have anyone in the world. Not your vice-captain who did everything with such care and looked after everyone so preciously. And definitely never your vice-captain you were terribly in love with.
There must be some mistake. Or else he wouldn’t have just said what you thought he said.
“Pardon me?” you asked.
He looked a little flustered and you had never seen such an expression on him, confusing you further. “I love you,” he said again, softly. “I’d love to know if you’re in a relationship.”
The way he spoke so carefully added to how nervous it made you feel— it was so different from how he usually talked to you. Now, you were lost to say the least, because you couldn’t think of one reason why he would like you, let alone romantically. Under normal circumstances, you’d assume you were being played with or that this was a silly prank or dare, but you knew that Hoshina wasn’t one to do something so horrible. So what was happening?
“I am not…” you said, still confused, but the visible relief in his eyes made your heart tighten. Oh gosh, is he serious?
“I’m… thrilled,” he said, and he wished you goodnight and left. While you were terribly flustered to know he liked you back, there was a voice in your head that wouldn’t stop making you feel anxious. Something felt so odd to you— to be loved back. To be loved back by him. You enjoyed talking to people so you talked to him often, but never had you thought he'd think of you like that. Having a naturally talkative personality, it was true that both of you had fun talking to each other, but you had accepted that your love was unrequited ages ago. When would he have possibly fallen in love with you? The more you thought about it the more impossible it sounded. As thoughts of him circled your head, it’d be morning before you knew it.
It'd be hard for him to point out exactly when he fell in love with you, because he was in love before he knew it. Before he knew it, he'd catch himself following you with his eyes. He adored watching you work, because you made everything look exciting. Of course, he saw how you groaned at the paperwork you had to do, but he'd see how the little things would put a smile on your face.
He liked the work he did, he liked all of it quite frankly. From neutralizing kaiju all the way down to the research he had to do— rarely did he think something was a chore to do, but if you were around to laugh at something silly he found or mutter about the binders and binders of files that the 3rd division just doesn't have space for anymore, he'd start looking forward to these moments.
While he knew you were like this with everyone, he hoped that you were happiest with him. It would mean everything to him if you looked forward to doing seemingly mundane work with him too.
However, while he loved so much about you, there was one moment specifically that made him realize he wasn't moving on. His heart would be yours forever at this rate. You'd look so horribly tired after all this work, and yet, if someone needed help with anything at all, you'd still smile and ask them what's wrong. You'd find the energy and speak to them so kindly. You might not have the energy you usually had, but you'd be so happy to help. Even if they couldn't tell how exhausted you were, he could. He knew how much you did for everyone in the division, and he thought you were stunning when you did so. You were the most beautiful when you had that lovely smile on your face that seemed to light up his world.
He loved you so dearly.
You loved talking to people, so there always seemed to be something for you to talk about. A new finding you wanted to share or a terribly random thought that popped up in your head. While you naturally talked to most of the people in the division, you looked forward to talking to Hoshina the most. The way he'd always listen so intrigued at your dumbest thoughts and laugh at the smallest things you said meant more to you than one would probably think.
And if you shared your daily happenings with him, he'd share his with you too. To say you loved these moments would truly be an understatement. Nothing could possibly make you happier.
However, you knew he was like this with everyone. His laugh would always manage to keep the morale of the division up and he'd never miss potential problems in the condition of any of his officers. You knew he was a sweet person, but also the best one could ask for in a vice-captain. You weren't special— he was like this to everyone. You knew better than anyone else.
You couldn't imagine anyone falling for you, let alone the kindest person you'd ever meet in your life. Let alone the person you'd probably love for the rest of your life.
Yet, here you were, alone with him this afternoon working away through paperwork and it was quiet. Eerily quiet. He was the first to break the silence.
“I rather dislike the rain,” he said, looking out the window. “It’s been raining all day.”
You paused to look outside as well. “No, you’re right. I don’t mind the rain, but I hate how dark everything is.”
“Yeah,” he said. More silence.
“Sorry, I’m awkwardly nervous now,” he said, eyes fixed on his work. “I didn’t mean to make things… weird.”
You could tell he probably didn’t want you to, but you couldn’t help but look his way. Your eyes widened and your heart filled. You weren’t afraid to say much, but you were afraid to talk about this. However, you thought you’d be able to if you were talking to him.
“I just… can’t imagine that you’re… in love… with me,” you said, looking down at your paperwork. “Sounds too good to be true. I know... sounds unlike me, right?”
Immediately he looked up at you, shocked to say the least. You could tell he probably wanted to ask why, but he thought for a moment more.
“What… would I be able to do to show that I am?” he asked. “You’re the one I love… you always will be.”
Your eyes widened. “I just… don’t know why,” you said honestly. “Why me?”
“Because I love you,” he said. “I love a whole lot about you, but I love being with you. I enjoy spending time with you and watching you enjoy the life around you. Is that too simple?”
It took you a second to reply, but you felt a lot better. “No, not at all,” you said. “Because I feel exactly the same way.”
“You’re kidding”
“Absolutely not”
“I’m going to kill you if you’re lying,” he said.
That made you laugh. “You know I wouldn’t,” you said, and yes, he knew you wouldn’t.
“Hey, Hoshina,” you said, avoiding eye-contact. “If I get worried… will you tell me again?”
“I’d tell you until you get sick of my voice,” he said while getting up to kiss your forehead. “I love you so much.”
#hoshina x reader#hoshina soshiro x reader#soshiro x reader#hoshina soshiro#hoshina#kaiju no. 8 x reader#kaiju no 8 x reader#kn8 x reader#IM SO SORRY I HOPE IT WAS OK I WROTE THE READER THE WAY I WROTE THE READER....#MADE US ENERGETIC USUALLY#also i dont know if i did the last section correctly either i hope this was what u had in mind...#THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE REQUEST THOUGH I ENJOYED WRITING IT A LOT#THIS WAS REALLY REALLY SWEET#THANK U SM FOR READING TOO#I HOPE YOU ENJOYED#request#proofread this and now im like err#idk chat did anything happen in these 1300 words (NO)#truly JUST VIBES I FEAR SORRY#NEXT ONE WILL BE BETTER FINGERS CROSSED#omg i just looked at this for the first time on mobile and my read more was so far down i apologize... i moved it up a little
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the neon pink rabbit dildo was aki's idea.
technically, you were the first one to mention using toys in the bedroom. you've been dating for quite a while now, and although everything with aki is always fantastic, you've been wondering if maybe the two of you should try to make things more... interesting. aki is polite. tightly-laced. pretty vanilla, to put it bluntly. you honestly weren't sure what sort of things he'd be into, if anything at all.
your coworkers had plenty of office gossip about the new fancy adult store they're opening down the block — it has two floors, they're having specials on all their products for couples. you figured it was worth mentioning to aki, just for the hell of it. you tell him as you're both relaxing in the living room after work, like you normally do.
everyone at your job has been complaining about the new surge of traffic to the nearest parking garage. it must be because of the new giant sex shop. ha ha, very funny. aki gives you an all-too serious once-over, before he gently asks, "did you want to check it out?"
you fumbled through your next words, and swiftly explained to your boyfriend that yes, sure, you wouldn't mind checking it out with him. it'd be exciting, really. honestly, you're all for experimenting, but you're unsure, you aren't very knowledgeable. the problem with the whole thing is that you don't know exactly what you'd like to try. it's a bit stressful to imagine getting lost in a huge adult store, with no idea what to purchase.
"I could try to pick something out. maybe that'd be less stressful." aki suggests, his slightly flushed face betraying his level tone. he crosses his legs and leans back into the couch. "only if you're interested, though."
you confirmed you were very, very interested.
part of you assumed aki might back out. he's been busy with work lately, so you had plenty of time to mull it over before your next date — but you honestly had no idea what sort of toy he might pick out. you know he'd put thought into it. he would choose something for a specific reason, or purposefully pick a toy he assumed you would like. perhaps he'd imagine how he might use it on you. would it be something small? large? super adventurous or overly simple?
still, despite all your thinking, when the day actually comes, aki manages to surprise you.
he comes over to your place shortly after you text him an invite. sure. I just got done with work. I'll be over soon, aki replies. he sends another string of texts shortly afterwards, while you're busy tripping over your pant leg, trying to quickly change into your lingerie. I missed you. I'm bringing a surprise.
maybe it was that text, or maybe it was because you haven't seen him in close to a week and you're practically dying to feel his touch, but once he arrives, the two of you barely last a few innocent minutes together before you're stumbling into your bedroom.
aki allows you to pull him forward and on top of you by his tie when you flop back onto your bed. your hands run through his soft hair to tug it free of its hairtie. you kiss his lips and brush your tongue against his with fervor, and you don't protest when he shifts to trail tingling, affectionate kisses down your neck.
you curl into his touches — his mouth on your collar, his palm gliding over your lower back — and you make quick work of a good third of his work uniform: his tie, his jacket, the first few buttons on his dress shirt. aki is much more efficient. he discards your clothes with careful movements, between soft kisses. he sighs when he pulls back, nervously running a hand through his hair, his eyes heavy at the sight of your pretty body held tight by the thin, perfectly fitting lingerie.
"you look beautiful," he hums, completely earnest. you shudder, your arms held around his neck and shoulders. your thighs spread wider for him as his warm palm brushes in between them.
you'd almost forgotten about the surprise, until aki reminds you of it.
he pulls himself off of you for a moment to reach into his bag. the dildo is moderately sized, a handful of inches in length at most, but it doesn't seem cheap. it's made from bright pink silicone, long and thick with two different sections. the smaller portion is adorned with two small knobs, shaped like rabbit ears.
it's meant for double stimulation, aki explains awkwardly, between a handful of uhms and stutters. you could certainly gather as much from the shape.
he places a hand on your waist ever-so gently, and when he asks, are you okay with this? you're swift to answer with a nod of your head. you're more than okay with it. what you couldn't figure out is how it might feel — until aki finally opts to show you.
he has you sprawled out beneath him, completely pliant. your arms are above your head, hands clenching tight as he glides his palm from your waist to your thigh with reassurance. he squeezes, and he fiddles with the toy for a moment, gauging the various controls. as he leans in closer, he presses a kiss to your cheek, he breathes a low instruction to relax. then, he flips the toy to press just the small, vibrating, rabbit-eared attachment to your still-clothed clit.
you can feel the faint vibrations, even through your lingerie. the toy must be on the lowest setting; it's more of a tease than anything else. still, your eyes flutter. you let go of a satisfied sound, and eagerly grind your hips up to meet the toy.
aki sighs. "you want more?" he murmurs, already sitting up and hooking his thumb around the string of your underwear. "can I take this off?"
you nod hastily, and lift your hips to allow him to pull the garment down your legs and all the way off.
aki's jaw clenches. sweat is forming at his brow and his palms, as you coo his name and spread your legs wider for him. you're so wet — he can tell without touching, but he's entirely sure once he guides the thick head of the toy over your cunt, and sees your arousal glistening on the silicone. he gives you another soft squeeze, another gentle touch on your side, a final, are you sure?
when you whimper and plead, please, aki, I want to feel it, he hardly hesitates to give you exactly what you've been hoping for.
the dildo is just the perfect size. it slides into you effortlessly, filling you perfectly and snugly. the length of it is curved slightly, and you can feel that curve as he slowly eases it in — nudging your walls, the thick tip deliciously meeting your sweet spot.
"there, that's it," aki praises. once the toy is all the way inside you, he lets go of a sigh that sounds thoroughly satisfied. "god. you take it so well."
your spine tingles at the sound of his smooth voice. he adjusts the toy slightly, and as the flexible rabbit-eared piece presses against your clit, vibrations a little stronger than before, your whole body tremors.
aki fucks you on the toy with slow, shallow thrusts, enough to keep the vibrations on your clit. and it's intense, it's so much; the toy fucks you so well and hits your sweet spot with its perfect curve on every thrust in. the vibrations are low and constant, thrumming against your sensitive, puffy clit.
wet noises fill the room as you dirty the toy's pretty pink shaft. aki keeps his pace slow, deliberate, never pressing it in too hard or too fast. all you can do is quiver and whine, your voice already becoming strained and loud.
he clicks a button on the dildo, and it begins to vibrate with strong pulses.
you're so beautiful; pleading his name, keeping your heavy, warm gaze locked on his despite the way your eyelids flutter. aki swears you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen as he watches the way you take all he has to give you. you have no idea what this is doing to him, how his heart is pounding and his mind is racing and oh, you were made to take this toy. you're all his, he has complete control over every facet of your pleasure. and god, does he want to make you cum for him.
aki increases the strength of the vibrations. "you're irresistible," he murmurs, and you don't fail to catch the small break at the end of his voice. he's falling apart too, just from this. "say my name again, please. want to make you cum for me, beautiful."
he trails soft kisses down your jaw while the dildo pleasures your cunt and your clit — and when you cum, you cum quickly and hard.
you tremor, you hold onto him tight, you soak the toy as your legs shake and your voice gives out. aki slows while you struggle to regain your breath, a hand slowly caressing your side, guiding you to breathe again. his heart feels like it might hammer out of his own chest.
"f-fuck..." aki swears, his breath shaky, his brows pinched. "you've never- that was-" he sighs. you're so lovely, so pretty. he's definitely going to lose his mind if he hasn't lost it already. why didn't he think of something like this sooner? "god... can you take one more for me?"
for @violet-turning-violet
#don't ask why I wrote so much for what was supposed to be like a three paragraph drabble#I think about that topknot man way too much#barely proofread this so I apologize for any mistakes...... it just came straight from between my legs#aki hayakawa x reader#aki x reader
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I could write an essay on Doctor Odyssey and how the fantastical aspect of the ship isn't due to it being the purgatory or a dream but rather linked to the metatextual plot of the show and how the Odyssey is meant to be an in-universe representation of what the show aims to be in our reality, a direct answer to the effects of the COVID pandemic on our world that aims to create an atmosphere of escapism in a medical environment to create hope and happiness while still acknowledging current events. The weekly themes, along with the very goal of the show, are the strongest indicator of a meta narrative, very clearly designed with the show's weekly nature in mind. They wouldn't work as well in a show designed for streaming. Captain Massey himself says the ship is carefully built to show itself as a heaven to its guests, explaining the unrealistic scenarios and vibe of the show, but by focusing on the emergencies that happen on board the show allows the viewers to explore the cracks in that illusion and creates a place in which both serious themes and mindless fun can be equally approached. We see that contrast in 1x06 when the screen cuts from a threesome straight to the suicidal hotline screen; the episode successfully indulges in the hedonism of the cruise ship established early on without detriment to its more serious storyline, which includes one of the best portrayals of panic attacks I've ever seen on tv. Although both concepts are more clearly separated throughout the episode, the cut-off from one to another at the end is jarring, reminding the viewer of how both concepts coexist both in the Odyssey and in real life. As silly as it might be at times, the show isn't mindless, but rather a well-executed reminder that there is light at the end of every tunnel, and that maybe that light comes in the form of a Ryan Murphy network tv show about a throuple solving medical emergencies on a cruise ship.
#not to give too much credit to a ryan murphy the show but giving too much credit to a ryan murphy show#I love you hedonistic cruise ship show with emergencies connected to real world themes that acknowledges itself as being an answer to covid#anyways I wrote this to procrastinate writing what I actually need to so this means zero proof read sorry#probably only like 20% of this makes sense but do you see my vision.#this is also me coming out as a purgatory/coma dream theory hater. tired tropes are way less fun than a metatextual show. I love irony.#doctor odyssey
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eddie figures out that he likes steve all because of nancy fucking wheeler.
it isn't often that they find themselves hanging out just the two of them, quite the opposite. this is the first time they've ever done it and the only reason nancy is even stepping foot inside the munson's new government-provided trailer is because she's having a crisis.
"but what does it mean," she asks, voice muffled as her lips wrap around the opening of her beer bottle before taking a swig. her cheeks hollow and her eyes shut against the feeling of the carbonation bubbling up before she fixes eddie with a glare that he doesn't think is for him. "it didn't... feel this way with barb."
and eddie's just sitting there on the couch, rolling a much needed joint for both of them, trying to follow along with what nancy is saying. she's pacing a hole in the carpet and her hands are flying around in a way that eddie himself does when the wheels in his brain are spinning too fast.
"... what didn't feel what way?"
nancy glares at him again and he gets the feeling that it's directed at him this time. he feels himself shrink under her eyes and wants to raise his hands up in surrender (he gives in and does indeed raise his hands in surrender).
"i think i'm in love with robin, please try and keep up."
eddie stills, his hands in the air and mouth open in shock. nancy's still muttering about something but his brain is stuck on the being-in-love-with-robin part of her tirade. it's not an issue, not in the slightest, and sure he's heard of people who... but he's never met someone who actually-
"are you even listening?" nancy asks, her tone firm. she has a hand on her hip while the other is clenched tightly around the neck of her beer. "what am i supposed to do?! am i just supposed to kiss her and tell her that her eyes are my favorite color and that i miss her when she leaves a room even for just a minute?"
"how should i know?! i'm not in love with robin!" eddie responds and he knows it's the wrong answer by how nancy's whole face falls in the span of .02 seconds. she looks like she's on the brink of tears, frustrated or hopeless or sad, and eddie doesn't know what to do with that either.
"but... you know. what about steve?" nancy's voice is soft now, and paired with her puppy dog eyes, eddie almost doesn't process what she says. "how'd you know with him?"
and if eddie thought he was stunned before, this takes the cake. a nervous laugh bubbles out of him, his face hot and heart pounding. his arms feel a bit like liquid and he doesn't know if he's even breathing anymore.
"nancy, i'm sorry but i think we're on two different wave lengths here." he needs to do something with his hands so he starts to fiddle with his lighter, flicking the zippo open and shut until the clink of the metal sounds too loud in the quiet room. "i don't.... love steve."
tears start to roll down her cheeks and yeah, eddie definitely messed up somewhere. she's wiping the drops away furiously like she's surprised they even dared to show up and she's biting her lip in a way that looks like it hurts.
"what are you talking about? of course you do." her eyebrows furrow which makes her look even angrier or disgusted and eddie feels like they're on a tightrope in his living room that's about to snap away from underneath them.
"well yeah, i... love him," he stutters over the words, "like i love you and rob and everyone. but not like... love love."
nancy's laugh sounds way too harsh for it to have come out of her. "are you sure? you stare at his ass more than i stare at robin's." she takes a deep breath, ignores the gasp of indignation that her statement gets out of eddie, and tilts her chin up like she's taking the high ground.
"i do not!"
"do too! and you're always looking for him when you walk into a room, like it doesn't matter if we're there, you only look for him. and you sit right next to him even if there's an open seat that's more comfortable. and you have this little, i don't know, tic when he smiles that makes you wiggle your fingers and you-"
"wheeler, you gotta stop."
"-always listen to him and he does all of that back for you and it's so obvious. i can't believe you didn't know you were in love with steve! you do everything that i do for robin and i'm in love with her so it must mean you're in love with steve and- holy shit i'm in love with robin."
the silence after nancy stops rings loud in his ears. honestly, he hadn't really given it any thought before but it makes sense.
the very idea of steve has his heart feeling a way it hasn't since he was nine and tracy nichols gave him a shiny rock on valentine's day. he does always look for steve when he enters a room, his very presence calming and dependable. he does sit next to him no matter what, their sides pressed together, heat radiating between them like a blanket. and god, when steve smiles, he does have to move his fingers, something to get out these jolts of energy that he feels licking through his veins.
steve is good and steve is a bit of an asshole but eddie likes that and suddenly the line between platonic and romantic seems to have vanished because holy shit, how did he live for the past year without spending every day loving steve harrington?
eddie reaches for the half rolled joint, licks at the paper to close it and lights up quickly. he holds the smoke in his lungs for probably too long but couldn't care less because he's now having a crisis of his own thanks to nancy.
"goddamnit," eddie hisses out as he exhales. "i'm in love with steve."
nancy looks smug, her arm extended as she waits for eddie to pass the joint to her before taking a hit. "that's what i'm saying."
"but i'm not... you know."
nancy rolls her eyes. "it's not going to bite you if you say it, eddie."
"i'm not gay."
the silence seems louder now as the paper on the joint sizzles. there's a dog somewhere in the park barking and he can hear his own heartbeat pounding in his ears.
"neither am i." nancy responds quietly with a shrug of her shoulders. "but i am for robin. and you are for steve."
she passes the joint back over to eddie and stands up from the couch, wipes off imaginary crumbs from her pants like she didn't just turn eddie's world upside down.
"i think i'm gonna go. i have a lady to woo." nancy looks happy. it's a good look on her, one he doesn't see all that often what with everything that's happened to them in the past year. she deserves it, he thinks, happiness.
"let me know how it goes," he calls to her as she stops at the trailer door.
"i will." with a tilt of her head and a with a gleam in her eye, she gives eddie yet another look that he doesn't know if he wants to try and decipher. "you should call him."
eddie snorts and takes a hit, rolling his eyes as he stares up at the ceiling so he doesn't have to look at nancy's all knowing eyes. it isn't that he's scared to call steve, it's that he's terrified. petrified. what would he say? what would steve say? he just figured out that he loves him, he hasn't had time to prepare a whole speech to declare it and-
"eddie." nancy's voice is sharp but certain and part of him thinks that robin is a lucky woman to have nancy wheeler falling in love with her. "trust me. call him."
after she's gone, he finishes the joint. he sits in the silence of his trailer and pulls hit after hit of sticky smoke until it's down the end and burning his fingertips. he stares at the ceiling some more, contemplates what to say, how to say it, how to do anything without throwing up.
he wonders if wayne knows, if he saw what nancy saw, what he thinks of eddie falling in with a guy. he wonders if this will change everything. wonders if it'll change for better or worse. wonders if he'll have to skip town and change his name like he imagined doing after he was cleared of murder.
picking up the phone is easy, dialing is easier when he has steve's number memorized like the back of his hand.
"hello?" steve mutters like he's been roused out of sleep. his voice is scruffy and somehow soft and eddie knows he's going to throw up.
"steve."
"hey, man. is everything okay?"
and it makes eddie's heart flutter in a way that a generic question shouldn't but damn it, he's in love. he's allowed.
"yeah, yeah. everything's good i just-" eddie sighs, scrubs a hand down his face to stop from twirling the phone cord in his fingers. "do you wanna maybe come over? watch a movie or something?"
eddie can almost hear the smile in his voice when he breathes out a yes, thanking whatever higher powers there may be for nancy wheeler.
#yikes i had way too much to do at work today but didn't do anything of it until i wrote this down oops#honestly the only place i write stranger things headcanons is at work apparently#steddie#steddie headcanon#but also a mini bit of#ronance#steve harrington#eddie munson#nancy wheeler#robin buckley#my writing#the next fic i write has to be ronance because i've yet to write anything angsty for them and i NEED to#please excuse the gratuitous overuse of italics in this#1k#2k
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Winnie turns to John with a frown on her face, she didn't want to walk home anyways. But she didn't want to stay somewhere that she felt people ( John's dad ) didn't want her to be there. She also didn't want to be seen as a threat to either of them while she was there, now that she knows that her dad hunts them. Maybe Trevor has an agreement with them? Yeah! SURE! Does Trevor even know? oh my god, her head was racing. She didn't like the feeling. The first time she ever did drugs wasn't even as bad as this. ( but she never did those again )
"I-I still love you too, John..." Winnie gently shuffles forward in her bare feet crunching the rocks on the pavement. Having gone barefoot for the majority of her life, always nice to be outside without shoes on. That's what you do when you want to feel NATURE! Plus she just didn't like shoes when she was younger.
She can see that Ben's eyes had changed their look at her, not at all serious or stern. She feels a little bit calmer now, that there's not a werewolf angry at her or uncomfortable with her being there.
"John," Winnie takes his hand when he would growl towards his dad, hand gently tugging to get his attention. That wasn't the first time she had heard that.
"I'll go back inside, John. Come on," she gently squeezed his hand then, calmer now but still on edge in the back of her mind. It was a lot, on her mind and brain, not including her emotions. After almost being killed in the forest, to John and herself being intimate to the information of werewolves and hunters. It nearly made her sick.
Tugging John along, she walked back up to the house and steps inside letting her feet rest a bit on the not bumpy floor. She sets her stripper type heels beside the door and tugs John's shirt down a bit over her thighs. Not that she feels self conscious, but his dad seemed to be doing this out of the kindness of his heart.
"Has my dad tried to hurt you?" she questioned towards Ben. "Is that why you don't like him? Are you scared he'll hurt John?" Trevor doesn't like John at all, but he knows that he makes Winnie happy so he tolerates him. "... he doesn't know I'm here."
“Winnie! Wait!” John runs down stairs with her “don’t leave like this.. let me drive you home please..” his lips setting in a thin line as he waits for her to turn around and face him “it’s not safe to walk home alone after.. well, after what happened earlier in the camp, I.. I don’t care what my dad says I just.. I still love you. And I never.. never think of you or- or your father as danger to us. I’m.. I’m sorry. Please let me drive you home” he worries his bottom lip between his teeth, a physical pain squeezes his heart thinking his ‘girlfriend’ walks home like this. What kind of boyfriend he’d be?! No matter what his father said, they’re still a couple and nothing, nothing can separate them. Even the supernatural shit like werewolves!
That somehow explains why her dad hates him.. but still, Winnie is the love of his life. God, he so badly wants to pull her in his arms and be the source of comfort for her now but with how things went down, John knows better than letting her have some space.. not pushing her but staying around to offer his everything whenever she wants and if she doesn’t want to stay at home, then he can drive her..
“kid.. come back inside” this time it was his dad saying that sentence, John turns his head so fast almost breaks his neck, eyes going wide. Dad really wants Winnie to stay? Right after he just dropped the bomb on them? Right..
He doesn’t notice the possessive growl that leaves his chest. Ben shakes his head, looking tired “stay down, son. I don’t want to hurt your girl, God’s sake..” then looks at Winnie again “you shouldn’t go home now. Let’s return back inside and we can talk more about it..” he sighs “us being enemies doesn’t make me let you walk home like that, now, get your ass inside, both of you..”
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Average historian denies all gay relationships statistic false!
No-Lesbians Ruth Franklin, who lives in an archive and denies any possible sapphic interpretation of Shirley Jackson’s work 50 times a day, is an outlier adn should not be counted
#biography#Shirley Jackson#seriously “a rather haunted life“ it is so good in most ways#but this woman seems to be like. Personally offended that anyone could possibly read anything sapphic into any of Jackson’s novels#I get it; she wrote that whole document freaking out that someone interpreted Hangsaman as#‘about lesbians’#but still there are a number of things she wrote where it takes an incredibly stubborn reading to not at least see that interpretation#(And I’m not fully sure that document was so much about objecting to Sapphic interpretations of her work#(as it was being upset at the idea of her central theme is not coming across in favor of other themes she’s considered less important#(besides which it gets into some incredibly interesting introspection about why she is “afraid of a word [lesbian]“#in ways that have a lot of people saying “the lady doth protest too much“
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UMMMM
#so the second picture is a story Jason Hammel posted… which is the chef that wrote the first text…#likeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I’m alarmed. in the best of ways#sydcarmy#the fact each of them broke up with their partners to kind of dedicate each to the other…#the dancing the buying of produce… this is too much for my heart#thanks to @sheridanroads in Twitter for digging this up…#mainly posting this here cause I need someone to freak out with me. and I’m not really active in Twitter so like… scream with me#sydney x carmy#carmy x sydney
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I totally agree. It's always meaningful to get shameless, overt queer representation, which includes queer people doing anything that a straight, cis couple would be granted (or even expected to do) in the same scenario.
Were Aziraphale or Crowley played by a woman, they'd be seen by the audience as a straight cis couple (even if they are supernatural beings who don't have gender so they're technically always a queer couple no matter who plays them). And, if that was the case, I could almost bet there would have been a kiss as soon as the finale of season 1 at the ritz. Or at least the public would have demanded it universally no questions asked.
I only hesitate to say this because I don't want in any way to accuse Neil Gaiman or Terry Pratchett of discrimination - on the contrary, their work in good omens and beyond has been pushing forward for LGBTQIA+ representation for decades and they are nothing but allies of the cause. I think that perhaps if Aziraphale and Crowley were a straight couple, even the editors and the TV studios might have tried to push for a romance because it sells.
Still, I wonder if Neil Gaiman had to struggle to make Aziraphale and Crowley a romantic couple in canon by showing The Kiss, if he faced resistance within the industry.
Fortunately Neil Gaiman has chosen time and time again to do what he felt was right (artistically and ethically) and portray queer couples - and, what's even more amazing, his queer couples are not the cautionary tale, the "bury your gays", nor the "token LGBTQIA+ couple in the background who don't have any relevance in the plot and who are bidimensional characters", or the "LGBTQIA+ character whose only character development or plot point revolves around their conflict about being gay".
What is so wonderful about the way Neil Gaiman portrays queer couples or queer people in general is that they are just people. They have character arcs that go beyond their queerness. But without hiding their queerness. They can have tumultuous relationships, or happy relationships, they can have personal issues, they can be good or bad or basically anything. Like any character. Why is it that straight cis characters get to be "normal" onscreen and LGBTQIA+ don't? The first time I have seen an explicit gay sex scene in TV that resembled the way straight sex scenes are often portrayed was in American Gods. Neil Gaiman talked about it (I don't remember the details) saying it was important to show that a sex scene between men could be romantic and normal and not... Whatever else they are usually portrayed by Hollywood.
In good omens season 2 we have a plethora of amazing LGBTQIA+ couples. Maggie and Nina have personalities beyond their potential romance. Unfortunately they don't get a lot of screen time, which could have helped develop them further. There is also the owner of the magic shop in present day soho and his nonbinary spouse. They/them pronouns are used for several characters without it being "a thing". It's as natural as it ought to be, and it's thrilling to watch. And I haven't even mentioned Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship.
I think the difference of this sort of representation and the mainstream queer representation of the last decades is that, while there had been advances in at least showing that queer people and queer couples exist, they could never be allowed to cause discomfort to straight cis people's sensibilities. That meant that the gay character died or suffered or had their presence in a story be reduced to "the gay" and nothing more. Step a bit out of that framework and the character just had to be straight or it'd be weird, uncomfortable, advertising "bad models", or bad morals, or undermining western values and threatening the "family" and "the children"... Then I suppose things started to get a little better and people started to demand diversity in movies and TV and that's when we got the "token gay character", who needed to be there to prove how the people and the companies behind a certain projet were "good guys" but funnily enough it just never happened to be the main character. And people still think that if a main character isn't straight and cis, and the plot doesn't revolve around their sexuality, then "why" did they make this character queer "if there was no need for it"? And that's the problem. There doesn't have to be a "narrative need" for a main character to be queer to have a queer main character. Straight cis characters get to have other plots than the fact that they are straight and cis. Queer characters also need to be allowed to have other plots than the fact that they are queer. Aziraphale and Crowley have a plot. They drive the plot forward. The plot (at least in the book and season 1) is not about their romance. Then here comes season 2 and they share a kiss. And some people are freaking out. "Why are they kissing? They didn't ""need"" to kiss."
As it turns out, yes, they needed to kiss.
Like Neil Gaiman said, the kiss is not the proof that Aziraphale and Crowley are in love - if you hadn't noticed they were in love before the kiss, it's not the kiss that will change your mind. The kiss had a lot of narrative importance, it was in character and compatible with the events of the scene in which it happened. It was perfectly placed in the story to develop each of their character arcs. However, according to what Neil said, the kiss was also important to make it clear, unequivocally clear, that their story is a love story, that these characters are in love, and that it was important to have this kiss in season 2 to make it very clear. That it was necessary to have the kiss in season 2 for us to live in a world in which the kiss happened, and it has consequences for the public's relationship with good omens. The public needed to be shown the kiss so that it would stop denying that these characters portrayed by two men were, indeed, in love, Official Romantic Love.
Now the new question is: do they need to have sex? Like, should season 3 make a point of showing something that proves unequivocally that they are having sex, or should season 3 make a point of avoiding it for the sake of ace representation? Or even perhaps there are people who haven't found The Kiss very lusty and are interpreting that they weren't gay after all, since they didn't kiss for real and it was Just An Awkward Moment Between Very Not Gay Buddies.
Heck, I even see people in the good omens fandom (the hardcore fandom of people who do believe that Aziraphale and Crowley are in love with each other romantically and who are LGBTQIA+ themselves or just big supporters of the cause) saying they'd be perfectly fine with they not sharing any other kiss in the entire series, that they don't necessarily want to see them kiss in season 3.
That one is easy: they absolutely need to kiss in season 3.
The kiss in season 2 was sad, desperate, painful. Tragic, even.
LGBTQIA+ representation, as I pointed out above, includes making a point of showing that queer people can be queer without the plot "making them pay for it". Queer people who end up "punished" by the plot are more comfortable to a conservative audience and thus it's become a trope in movies and TV. No queer deeds go unpunished. "If 'The Gays' are already having this big 'privilege' of existing onscreen, what else do they want? They've had their cake, don't tell me they want to eat it too?"
It's important to fight that trope. Queer people need to be allowed to finish a story in a giddy bliss of happiness.
Aziraphale and Crowley need to share at least one happy, romantic, all-out kiss portrayed in the same cathartic way of their sad kiss in s2 - I'm talking about a long kiss, the soundtrack goes up, the camera closes up on their faces, and they are unapologetical. They get to have their cake and eat it too. They can't just kiss to be miserable, they need to get at least one kiss without a terrible heartbreak right afterwards. They need to kiss spectacularly and not be punished for it.
Now... For a more difficult question. Should they have sex in season 3 or would it damage ace representation?
My take on this: they should have a sex scene. If it should be more or less explicit (not explicit as in explicit sex but as in "unequivocal"), I'm not sure. If it should show the characters as happy and lusty or romantic or confused with the whole thing or having difficult emotions (for example Aziraphale's religious trauma) is all up to debate as well. I have the impression that a lot people in the fandom think they should be very naive about it, not even knowing what happens when people have sex. I think they would probably be clumsy in their first time, but not stupid. Both of them know humans very well - Aziraphale reads ALL the books, Crowley watches a lot of TV and movies and whatnot. It just doesn't make sense that Aziraphale and Crowley would never have come across descriptions of sex. You can hardly convince me they don't know what happens in sex. Ok, fine, Aziraphale doesn't know that his neighbour runs a brothel and that is pretty naive of him. But Crowley seems to be perfectly aware that it's a brothel. And Aziraphale seems to know, at least in theory, how babies are made. He obviously doesn't know what grindr is but he doesn't know what twitter is either so he's basically living in his own little universe if he never heard of twitter. But I digress.
Regardless of how much they understand what sex is, they want it real, real bad. Especially Aziraphale. (thank you, Michael Sheen, for giving us the thirstiest, lustiest angel in the history of TV. Heck, perhaps the thirstiest, lustiest character in TV. I dare you to show me that an actor in an actual sex scene, an explicit all out sex scene, that can showcase such desire as Aziraphale especially in season 2).
Would it hinder their character development? On the contrary, it'd be not only compatible with their character development but it would help develop it further in very interesting and important ways. These beings have a very long relationship with each other and with earthly pleasures and their sharing a sex scene is the opportunity to have them confront their own self identity as supernatural beings in human-like bodies, it can show them having new things to explore in their relationship with themselves and with each other. Especially since they never had a chance to discover an earthly pleasure together up to this point. When Aziraphale got to eat and drink, Crowley had already been doing these things for a long time. Crowley sleeps because he likes it, Aziraphale doesn't sleep. Of course, they have enjoyed food and drink together for thousands of years by now, but they didn't get to discover it together. Their romantic relationship provides this opportunity.
What could be negative, plot-wise, about them having sex? I don't see anything.
Now... As for the matter of "Aziraphale and Crowley have a sex scene in season 3" and ace representation.
I'm in the ace spectrum myself (demisexual) but to be totally honest I don't know in detail what the ace community advocates for when it comes to representation. I can't speak for those who are farther in the ace spectrum. I'll try to be reasonable and respect different points of view. I have read several ace people in the fandom pointing out that portraying ace characters as people inherently averse to sex is something pretty misleading and problematic.
Then there's the eternal problem of "sorting out when it's ace representation from when it's just plain queer baiting". This question doesn't apply to good omens anymore (thanks to Neil Gaiman). But I wonder if we've grown so used to queer baiting in so many of our favourite stories that we started to romanticise these relationships as if they were good ace representation, when they're really not.
From what I know from my experience and from what I can interpret about Aziraphale and Crowley, they will want, at the very least, to experiment. I can totally see them as a couple with a very low sex drive compared to non-ace human beings. But I can't imagine them never wanting to do some experimentation with each other. They like being together, they like holding hands, they are in love, they crave for proximity (think of Aziraphale's hands in several scenes). And yes they seemed to have really liked the physical sensation of the kiss, despite being devastated by everything else that happened in that scene. So how could they POSSIBLY never even try, even once, to have sex?
And, if they will have sex, at least once as experimentation, is it good or bad to show it? Once again: I believe it's good.
Does it erase the ace representation in good omens? Not really. They have been in love for centuries without engaging in sexual activity. I really don't think the series would ever portrey their love as defined by their sexual relationship than the immense bond they have built for aons. I think that's the final argument: it makes more sense for them to experiment than to never experiment, and, if s3 decides to show it unequivocally onscreen (and I really hope it will), it will never be a defining factor in their relationship just like the kiss wasn't the defining factor of the fact that they are in love. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't see how that could undermine ace representation.
Also, I couldn't possibly fail to address something very important in all these representation matters.
Aziraphale and Crowley's romantic relationship is not just ANY queer representation.
It's two very respected actors with brilliant careers.
It's two characters played by middle aged men.
One aspect that makes queer couples sometimes more "acceptable" for the general public is when their sexuality is present in a movie or show not for their own character development or for their own tridimensionality but because it will please the gaze of the audience. That's the good old "men like to watch lesbians when it's for the man's pleasure but they will deny lesbians respect or basic human rights and be offended when lesbians don't want to sleep with them".
So sometimes a movie or show will show queer couples having sex, but it's not ANY queer couple: it's gorgeous young lesbians who look like Victoria secret models, or gorgeous young men, in gratuitous scenes that do nothing whatsoever for the plot.
Compare that with good omens. The Kiss between Aziraphale and Crowley. These characters don't kiss to please the audience's gaze, as if the characters didn't matter and they were only kissing because the audience wanted some soft porn and those characters were mere objects serving external desires. They do it for themselves. Of course most of the fandom really wanted them to kiss. But we wanted these characters to kiss because we could see that they loved each other and we wanted them to be happy. So yes it's a bit of fan service... Fan service or not, the kiss was not gratuitous and it absolutely served the characters, the plot and was not using a queer couple as soft porn.
Even in the sex scene from American gods, which is an utterly explicit sex scene with frontal male nudity and all you can imagine, I didn't feel like the scene was there to give the audience some sexy excitement. It felt like that moment served the characters and we as the audience only got to see it in such an explicit way because the specific way in which it happened served the plot and the character development.
Similarly, it's a powerful thing to not only see this queer couple played by two middle aged men with outstanding careers share a Truly Happy Kiss, but also have sex in a way that showcases and affirms these character's unapologetic freedom and desire and satisfaction. And finish the story perfectly safe and happy.
All in all: for the time being I'm convinced there should be an unequivocal sex scene between Aziraphale and Crowley in season 3. Exactly how it should be portrayed in light of ace representation is up to debate. What's not up to debate is the fact that we lack representation of queer couples getting to be queer and have a happy ending. That's why I believe it's very important that they get to kiss again in a wondrously happy kiss. Or several. It'd be really bitter if the single romantic physical exchange between these characters would be of desperation and sadness.
I NEEEED people—especially those with unfathomably large platforms???—to start doing just a tiny bit of internal evaluation before they log onto a blue website and say “I don’t want these queer characters to fuck in canon” or “I’d be fine if these characters never kissed again” or whatever.
This is a post about Good Omens and the prospect of Aziraphale and Crowley potentially having sex in season 3. It's a response to a tweet that I'm crossposting, but let it be known the above statement and this topic applies broadly across multiple fandoms too.
But anyway, in regards to Good Omens specifically:
I am seeing this take that essentially boils down to "Canon has now made it clear that these characters want to have sex with each other through subtext (i.e. Aziraphale and the ox), but I don’t want that to reach narrative completion because the idea of them having sex makes me uncomfortable or isn’t my personal preference” and it is, to put it mildly and delicately, A Very Bad Take.
This is rhetorical (and I do not expect or particularly want an answer), but: explain to me how and why queer characters who are unavoidably visibly queer (aka 2 "man-shaped beings") fucking on screen wouldn’t be a net positive, especially when you can indicate how canon has set it up.
Presumably, some people say things like this because ~they want to see them as visibly ace.~ Okay. But by some of these people’s own admission, there IS more evidence in canon now to indicate these characters crave sex with each other (vs arguing otherwise)... yet people would rather that be ignored/erased all for the sake of them feeling comfortable or feeling better about what canon shows or doesn’t show explicitly??
I’m sorry, but—speaking as an ace person, to be clear—your personal preferences for the story shouldn’t / don’t affect anything here. There’s too much in this.
Yeah, I understand on a personal level not having “representation.” I almost never see myself or my unique experiences and identity reflected in stories. And yet, I also understand that that doesn’t change any story or the world in which we live. Things like this are not said in a vacuum.
Any queer characters having sex on screen IS a net positive. It is rare and impactful, and openly calling for or hoping for otherwise when canon points to its potential is a detrimental alliance with purity culture, whether intentionally or accidentally. Because we live in a Goddamn society!
Who knows (other than Neil Gaiman) whether Aziraphale and Crowley ARE going to fuck on international TV. None of us do! But the subtext right now blatantly says they’re starving for it. And you don’t have to like the prospect of that, but honestly? We SHOULD get to see it play out. There’s no truly legitimate reason we shouldn’t ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Whether you "prefer" it or not.
And my ultimate hot take is… if someone balks at the idea of that or doesn’t understand the importance of it, despite even seeing the subtext… then they should perhaps unpack that? Just a thought.
Truly the way fandoms are managing to hit either “subtext doesn’t count :/ ” or “let’s keep it to subtext so it’s ‘open to interpretation’ :) ” nowadays depending on what corner one visits is MADDENING. Whiplash-inducing. Surreal. And so much nonsense you can’t pick where to start.
So! I do genuinely hope I'm not kicking off discourse but I felt this Needed To Be Said (and on more than one site). Because posts like “even if they never kiss again, we’ve won <3 “ make me want to be like…
These characters are YEARNING. Do not doom them and us to it. For once, we can reach for the stars and maybe–against all odds–pull them down. Embrace it!
#Omg this got way too long#i wrote way too much#oopsie#good omens#good omens season 2#good omens spoilers#good omens season 3#neil gaiman#aziracrow#ineffeble husbands#Aziraphale#Crowley#lgbtqia#lgbtq community#ace representation#please don't hesitate to correct me if I got it wrong I hope I didn't mess up about queer representation notably ace representation#queer representation#queer couples in TV and movies
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