#I would've been upset by this when I was a teenager

[icedteaandoldlace]

I tried out some of those eye color changer filters last night. The blue eye filter make me look like a freaky Dollar Tree Killer Frost. The brown eye filter looked so normal I was waiting for it to load before I realized it already had. My eyes are blue.

[inbabylontheywept]

Weird Grandpa Story #2

I remember asking my mom once, if her dad had gotten ornerier as he'd gotten old. I'd heard about that happening, and it would've made sense for him. He was already the orneriest old cuss I'd ever met. Couldn't even imagine him being grumpier than he was.

Instead of answering the question directly, she told me about what it was like going to church with him as a kid. Their church was a small Mormon ward out in the sticks of Colorado, and he served as their Bishop - mostly by virtue of being the only one willing to do that much unpaid work. He was also the ward pianist. He actually liked playing piano, and he liked having an audience, so it was more or less understood that he was willing to be the bishop in exchange for being the pianist. 

Which could've been a good trade, but there were a few problems.

The first problem was that Grandpa Dale played every song at about triple speed. He was a deeply impatient person, and that extended to how he played music. The second problem was that he had a bad habit of cursing under his breath. That would've been a scandalous  enough habit for a Mormon bishop, but was made much worse (and also much funnier)  by him being pretty damn deaf. So what he thought of as "quiet" cursing under his breath was more of just a verse hoarse way of yelling. I only visited him for a week or two every summer, and I still learned most of my bad words from him. 

So every Sunday would start with a quiet prayer, and then Bishop Grandpa Dale would go to the piano, sit down, and play the nightcore version of Praise to the Man. He would occasionally play other hymns, but he really, really liked that one. This would continue until he hit a wrong note, which was basically inevitable because his music philosophy was that if he could play a song flawlessly, it was time to play it faster. So he'd play until he hit that wrong note, at which point he would scream-whisper SHIIIIIT and, because he did not actually read music so much as memorize it, the only way he'd be able to get his rhythm back was by going back to the start. 

If it was a good Sunday, he could get it in two tries. Some Sundays took as many as five. 

I learned two things about Grandpa Dale from this story. The first was that he could play piano. I'd never actually seen him do that before. Still haven't, come to think of it. Second was that the man that I visited once a year, who always seemed on the verge of exploding, who scared the absolute dickens out of me, was actually the chilled out version of the man my mom grew up with.

And it helped knowing that, actually. I'm actually a pretty anxious person, and my mom is, also, a pretty anxious person, and as a teenager we'd sometimes get in these doom loops where we'd wind each other up until our springs cracked. She'd be worried about me growing up to be happy, and I'd be worried about letting her down, and my worrying would make me unhappy, and my unhappiness would make her unhappy, and we'd just kind of dissolve into these anxieties like cotton candy in the sea and become totally unbearable to be around for a bit. Then my dad would sit us both down and very politely tell us that we were being crazy. He had this quote how being sad that someone else is sad that you're sad is the emotional equivalent of being a Klein flask and that at some point you have to just say I am allowed one (1) single layer of emotional recursion, at most, and ideally zero. 

And it was always kind of embarrassing and silly, but when I was tempted to be more upset with my mom about it, I could remember the piano story and go: Sheesh. She has more of a right to be anxious that I do. For me it's really just genetics, but she grew up with the Cactus-Killing Gopher-Smasher. A whole 18 years of that. I spent two weeks every summer with that guy, and I love him, but I always came home feeling like I'd survived something. She's a trooper.

[confessedlyfannish]

DP x DC Writing Prompt #9

"Are you sure about this?" J'onn asks, reading the discontent amongst the Kents. Clark and Lois each have a hand on their teenage son's shoulders, who several weeks prior was aged ten years old.

"We're sure," Clark says. He is not, nor is his wife. But his son is, who lays his hand on his mother's and squeezes. It is that surety that J'onn honors as he delves into the young (but not as young as he should be) man's mind.

The memories are hard to find but not gone, hidden behind what Jon can only see manifested as a glowing green wall. When he raises a tentative hand, the shield sparks green, but does no harm. Pushing through is like wading through the consistency of jello, which he finds an overall unpleasant experience. But he is unharmed as he passes through.

Before J'onn can sort through the memories he is all but sucked into the one at the forefront, where a Jon most similar in visage to the one recently returned perches on the edge of a building. Beside him lies a burger, partially unwrapped though uneaten, and a small soda.

As the memory builds out a sun sets on a small suburban town, and a muscled thigh knocks into Jon's, an older man with a shock of white hair and eyes the same light and color as the shield formed around these memories appearing. He's tall even sitting, likely about as tall as Superman, and looks to be in his thirties. A full body suit comprised of black and silver accents stretches across broad shoulders, a stylized D on his chest. He knocks his thigh into Jon's again.

"You said I couldn't go back," Jon says quietly.

"I lied," the man says lightly.

"You're lying now," Jon says, glaring at him. "I can hear your heart."

"Nice try, kiddo, I don't have a heart in this form," the man says, reaching a hand out, presumably to ruffle his hair. Jon dodges.

"I know you're lying. You would've told me. You would've helped me get home."

"Jon--"

"You're protecting Clockwork, aren't you?" Jon demands, eyes beginning to burn red. "That old coot decided it wasn't enough to play with you, he had to play with me too."

The man slaps a hand over Jon's eyes. "Breathe, like we practiced," he instructs firmly. Steam rises from where his palm meets Jon's eyes, but if it hurts he shows no indication. "In, 2, 3. Out, 2, 3."

Jon whimpers but heaves a breath, and the burst of red light dies down from between the man's fingers. His hand moves down to Jon's shoulder.

"I can't pretend to understand Clockwork's decisions," the man says, as tears begin to pool in Jon's eyes. "Frankly, I don't want to. I suspect they are hard decisions to make, sometimes."

"I don't get why you defend him," Jon says. "Dumbledore acting bastard."

"Language," the man says, lightly bopping him on the head. J'onn notes the boy actually winces, as if the blow hurts.

"I am upset with him, I hope you know that," the man continues. "But at the end of the day I'm also grateful. Because I got to meet you." He hooks an arm around Jon's shoulders, pulling him in. "And now you'll get to see your family again. And Sally, Arnold, and Damian!"

Jon sniffles, rubbing roughly at his face. He leans into the man's bicep. A trusted adult figure, then. One he's described his life to. A life, J'onn is sad to note, he appears to have lived for the past six years, as opposed to a sudden shift in appearance. Jon's next question all but confirm it: "Can I really go back? It's been so long. They'll be all grown up."

"Hey, of course you can," the man says, rubbing his shoulder. "I'm sure they've missed you so much. They'll be so happy to see you again."

Jon starts to smile. "I'm going home."

"You're going home!" The man laughs, shaking him.

"I can finally eat some decent barbecue again!"

"Hey!" the man protests, "The smoker blew up one time!"

Jon continues, beginning to get excited. "And Ma will make her jalapeño cornbread! I never could get it right, I can't wait for you to try it!"

J'onn notes the older man's smile fading, eyes growing sad.

"And Damian will definitely want to spar and oh, oh! With you on our side we can totally prank Batman! I bet Alfred will even help! And Mom gives the best hugs, Pops comes really close but Mom will be really excited to meet you, everyone will."

"Jon," The man says.

"I knew you'd be worried about it, but they'll want to meet you," Jon says, clocking his expression. "They'll be grateful. You, you helped me. You kept me safe and taught me how to be Superman. They'll love you, I promise."

"Jon, I can't go with you," the man says gently.

"I'm not saying you stay, but you can visit! I'm sure the Justice League can figure out a way to maintain a portal, they're super used to all that multiverse stuff. Once they have the coordinates, you can stop by whenever!"

"I can't go through the portal, Jon," the man says. "To other worlds, I'm a god. And gods can't interfere. The only reason I can continue to live here is because this is the world of my origin."

Jon gapes at him. "But--but,"

"You're going to see your Mom and Dad again," the man says. "And your brother, and grandparents."

"I can come here, then," Jon says desperately, pushing his way out of the man's arms. The man is already shaking his head. "I can!"

"You can't."

"Why, because Clockwork says so? He's a liar!"

"Because multiverse travel is never a good idea. If you got trapped here again--"

"I wouldn't,"

"You belong with your family,"

"You're my family!" Jon cries. The man freezes. "You, and Sam, and Jazz, and Tucker and Val and Ellie and Pops and Mads, you're all my family! I can't just leave you, I won't!"

"Oh kiddo," The man says, eyes wet. "I love you too. We all do."

"So I'll stay," Jon says decisively. "For all we know my world is a wasteland. Gramps wasn't exactly right in the head when I left. It's better to stay here."

J'onn notes a green vine unwinding from a nearby trellis. It slides down the eave towards the pair.

"You don't mean that," the man is saying.

"I'm sixteen. I can make my own decisions. I'm staying."

The man cups Jon's face. "Your parents did not have a choice in losing you. I'm willing to bet they're devastated. Because I'd be devastated, losing a kid as great as you."

"Maybe they're not even there," Jon says, but the words are half-hearted, and it clearly hurts him to say them.

"I know I seem like a pushover, but if I thought Clockwork was sending you back to anything less than your loving family, I'd destroy him first. And he knows that. They're going to be there, I promise."

"I don't want to go," Jon says. Behind him, the vine rises from the eave of its own will, poised like a cobra enchanted by a snark charmer.

"I know," the man says, eyes drifting to the vine. "I'm so sorry, Jon."

"For what?" Jon asks, as the vine attaches itself to the nape of his neck. His eyes roll back as he collapses into the man's arms. The man hugs him tighter than is strictly necessary.

J'onn expects the memory to now end, alongside Jon's consciousness. To his curiosity, it does not.

"For what it's worth," a young woman spits bitterly, vines supporting her weight as she slips over the side of the roof. "I still think this is horrible." Her eyes are red and miserable.

"Seriously, team punching Dumbledore in the face," A young black man says, appearing in the air supported by a woman almost identical in appearance to the man holding Jon, down to the suit colors. They land on the rooftop.

"Are you sure about this," the dark haired woman with powers over plants asks. "Because to be honest, Danny, I'm five seconds away from punching you in the face."

"Jazz won't speak to you for months," the girl, likely his sister, points out.

"Make it a year," the man says, crossing his arms.

The man, Danny, ignores them all. He cards a hand through Jon's hair. "He'll retain the experience, but not the memories?"

"Yes, he'll be a perfect little superhero, just as you taught him," the woman says, vines twisting agitatedly around her, wrapping around her thigh, wrists and neck almost punishingly.

"Sam," the man says. "He needs to go home. All of you know that."

"He doesn't have to forget us to do so!" the sister bursts, eyes flashing green.

"Remembering would be a torment," Danny says. "He'll know he was loved. That's enough."

"Danny," the plant woman says, sitting beside them both. She puts a gentle hand on his, both on Jon's back. "This is just a different torment."

"And if someone finds out?" Danny asks. He has been patient amidst their scorn, but now a tiny edge ekes into his voice. "A god's child, unprotected? Threatened? He would never stop looking for a way back, and being vocal about it could get him killed."

The others are silent.

"He'll be home. He'll be happy," Danny says. More powerful than a prayer. A directive. He raises his head past the child slumbering in his lap, past them all, face hardening, and says to J'onn: "And you will say nothing."

J'onn takes a step back, fear so thick he could choke on it flooding his very being. Thismanwillkillhim, thismanwillkillhim.

This man will reach through dimensions and kill him.

"Now, get the fuck out of my kid's head," Danny snarls. J'onn is pushed back with enough force he enters his own mind in a vicious whirl that leaves him physically on the floor, gasping.

"I'm sorry," he says as Superman rushes to lift him, and he's not sure who he's apologizing to. Green eyes will pierce his dreams. Vines will crush his throat in his nightmares, screaming silence, silence.

You will say nothing.

"I'm sorry," J'onn says, politely pushing Clark's hands away as he rises. He's already beginning to calm, because he understands. Those are consequences he will not face. He will do as directed. He looks at Jon Kent, bewildered but unharmed, clutching his mother's hand.

J'onn reaches down and dusts at his pants. "I'm sorry," he says evenly, ready to spin his tale. Perhaps the Kents will continue to seek their answers. Perhaps not. He will stay out of it either way. He has been warned.

You were loved by gods. And to keep you safe, they would quiet us all.

Part Two

[restinslices]

Can we take our beautiful boy Smoke's virginity? 🙌🏾

I was thinking of a drabble but you can write this however you find easier ;)

If Tomas has no fans, then I'm dead. No gender is specified and reader is a softie because it's what everyone in this situation deserves. Also POV jumps from his to the readers. This was supposed to be a drabble but then I kept typing :D

Tomas was considered behind when it came to certain life experiences. It wasn't something he was necessarily ashamed of, but it was something he knew was true. His type of life didn't allow him to worry about certain things.

Dating was one of them. He knew that teenagers and young adults were supposed to date and experiment, but he never did. Never dated anyone, never held hands, kissed someone, went beyond that.

That didn't mean he had no desire to.

"Are you sure?" You asked softly, eyes observing his reaction to everything. "We can stop. I won't be upset or anything". The truth was that you wanted him badly, always had and always would. You would've certainly lost track if you had to count the amount of times you daydreamed about having him all to yourself, lips on yours, hips moving in a steady rhythm. But a relationship and sex wasn't a one way street. You wouldn't pressure him to do anything he wasn't comfortable with, even if you would be old and wrinkly by the time he wanted to be inside of you.

Tomas on the other hand felt a sense of nervousness he had never felt before. As bad as it sounds, killing someone was easy. He did it without thinking. Now though, you were depending on him for pleasure. "I'm gonna be incredibly bad at this... " he mumbled.

"That's alright" you said in the same soft tone, hand wrapping around his, which was wrapped around his cock. "Everyone's first time is weird. You'll get better over time. I'll help you".

Your other hand cupped his face, your thumb tracing his cheekbone when you noticed him leaning into your touch. "You can say no whenever and we'll stop. I promise"

"I want this". Nerves and all, he wanted this. Your hand stayed on his, guiding him closer and closer to your entrance, his nerves becoming stronger.

And then his nerves stopped, replaced by something far stronger; pleasure. He felt a chill go down his spine, and he only had the tip in. How long was he expected to last when you felt this good?

He felt equally good to you. Sure, you had been with other men before, but they were smaller. Everything about Tomas was bigger - his dick, his arms, his pecs, his height, everything about him made him better than any man you ever met.

You continued guiding him, making him stretch you around his cock slowly until eventually you could feel his balls pressed against you. And although you wanted him to pound inside of you right then and there, you forced yourself to remain patient. Tonight wasn't just about you. It was about him. Your arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer to you, taking in how pretty he looked with his lips parted and deep breathes coming in and out of him.

"Wow" was all he could muster when he finally spoke.

"Good wow or bad wow?

"Definitely good- wait. How long am I supposed to last?

"Uhh" how long? Um, long enough? You didn't know if there was an average time, but you knew the chances were low that he'd make it. "Don't worry about lasting long. It's your first time, okay? You'll last however long you last"

He nodded before his lips found yours, muffling both of your gasps as he pulled out, then pushed himself back in. "Was that okay?

"Perfect. Keep doing that" your legs wrapped around him, keeping him close as he began to find his rhythm.

Tomas couldn't understand why he hadn't done this with you before. Well, he understood that he simply wasn't ready before now, but the way you gripped him made him forget all about those previous worries. You were perfect. Stretching you open was almost too easy, but now that he was inside you, your hole held him tightly, letting him feel every bit of you. Every bit of your insides that were made for him.

He didn't know how fucked out he looked. That's what added to your pleasure besides the obvious. He had bit down on his lip to stifle his moans at first, but after some time he just couldn't keep quiet. If he wasn't kissing you, whines were falling out his mouth. Here he was, an assassin with arms bigger than your hands and a heavy cock in between his legs, whining because of how good you felt.

It wasn't one sided. He felt perfect to you aswell. His thick cock stretched you open, his veins rubbing against your insides. You hardly needed to instruct him. His tip always managed to be exactly where you needed it to be.

"I'm-" his sentence was cut off by a choked groan, his eyes squeezing shut as he shot his load inside of you.

You placed soft kisses on his cheeks, soothing him as he came down from his orgasm. "You did really good" you praised in between kisses.

His head fell to the crook of your neck, your fingernails gliding along his scalp and you unwrapping your legs around him. "You didn't cum" you heard him mumble against your neck. Well, you both had known he wouldn't last long

"No big deal. Tonight wasn't about me, it was about you. Did you like it?

"You have to ask?

You chucked, "I just enjoy clear communication"

"Then yes, I liked it". He lifted his head up enough to give you a kiss on the cheek, "should I feel this tired after?

You nodded, then tried to push him off only to feel him swat your hands away. "Wanna fuck you again, just need to breathe. Stay"

Who were you to turn your pretty boy down?

[calisources]

𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒, 𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐏𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.

All sentences were taken from difference media about age gap and age difference relationships, all acceptable relationships within consenting adults with age differences. Please do not use for teenagers or taboo relationships. These have some foul language or suggestive undertones so please beware. You can change names, pronouns, locations as you see fit.

I bet it doesn’t feel like this with that boy of yours, does it?

You’ll never know when I’m going to drag you into the darkness, pumping my cock into one of your tight holes. And you’ll take every inch like a good little girl.

What a tiny life we’d live if we fashioned ourselves to the comforts of others.

I think I'm a little old for that, love.

No, not old. But you're, you know, a man.

Tell me that you've never had anyone else. I want you to pretend.

You show me things I've forgotten.

Sometimes I think you must have seen it all before. That I can't show you anything new.

I like you as you are, he said. Even if you're going to wear me out.

I’m rough with your body sometimes, but I’ll always be gentle with your soul. She bruises far more easily.

This prince is a few years younger than you, and does not have much experience.

I must have forgotten how young you would be, Princess. Has there ever been a sovereign of such tender age?

Who is to say what love is or what it wants to be, the shape it takes, or how quickly it comes on? Love has always made a fool of time.

I don’t feel old. As a matter of fact, sitting here with you makes me feel older, not younger. Nothing is rubbing off.

Mr. Rochester was about forty, and this governess not twenty; and you see, when gentlemen of his age fall in love with girls, they are often like as if they were bewitched.

He's old enough to be your father.

Tonks deserves somebody young and whole.

But she wants you. And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so.

Age is no barrier. It's a limitation you put on your mind.

Age considers; youth ventures.

Age, like distance lends a double charm. 

I'm a strong believer that a good relationship can work, whatever the situation. 

Love knows no boundaries, not even the ones defined by age.

Don’t let society’s judgment define your love. Follow your heart, despite the age difference.

Most people would be upset they get an old man as their husband.  

Do not worry about your age, Ser. The lady pays attention not to age but prowess.

I will not let time choose my lovers for me. I trust my own judgement. 

You should look to more prosperous gardens, Your Grace.

I was sixteen years old when you were born.

No doubt you were much my superior in judgement at that period of our lives; but does not the lapse of one-and-twenty years bring our understandings a good deal nearer?

Come, my dear Emma, let us be friends, and say no more about it. 

I have seldom seen a face or figure more pleasing to me than hers. But I am a partial old friend.

If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.

We spend more time discussing this matter than being together as a couple. And I believe you are doing it on purpose.

You think my attention is as fickle that I would look elsewhere.

Perhaps it would be you who looks elsewhere. A handsome older man must have youthful maidens at his disposal.

If we were closer in age, it would've been fine.

I have loved you since the moment I helped you with your zipper. 

Would it make you feel better if I call you Daddy while you fuck me?

You’ll be a silver fox before 40 at this rate.

Well, it’s definitely your fault. You stress me out. You’re making my hair turn white.

It’s easy to cast opinions when your heart isn’t the one invested.

I hope you love me, because I love you like crazy, and I'm going to want you the rest of my life.

You already know the truth. And I will be by your side, but I am not good for you.

I am tired of others getting to choose who is good for me. You do that quite often, frequently. 

You'll keep your name. You'll keep your will. You'll have your own servants to attend you— you will have everything you ask for.

Don't ask me to let you do. Do you understand? Do not ask me.

It might be best for us, for myself, if I found myself useful elsewhere.

I wish you could just slow down so I could catch up to you.

Stamina is not an issue. But rather what others will whisper.

When are you going to get over this? All I did was touch your leg.

Why would it matter if someone saw you saying hello to me?

But it’s nice to be around you. Like I haven’t lost a decade of my life.

I been in love with you since I was six, fool. 

I will always belong to you, but I’m afraid there will be others after me. I’m not a young man/woman.

A kiss ... a muse. It is a question, an unlocked door. It is ... elation ... and anguish.

You have treated me better than any young man my age. Why should I go for either of them? 

Young men are eager lovers. I prefer my lovers to take their time. I’m sure with men is the same.

You make me feel really safe. i’m not used to that.

You gave an old man purpose again. And that is more than I can ask of you.

I was a child then, with a crush and a dream. As I grew, dreams changed but you remain the one in my dreams.

I have thought about kissing you a lot. What would that make me?

I have more in common with you than men my age.

Do not pretend to think what I think.

More recently, there are rumors she prefers her lovers to be younger. Truth to be told, I don’t blame her.

I will teach you in time, but for now restrain me and have your way with me. I don’t want to think, I just want to feel.

We have never done anything to be ashamed of. You’ve never done anything to be ashamed of.

Personally, I think the difference keeps us interesting in another another. 

You can teach me all you wish, and I can learn. I know I can.

There is always a wild side to an innocent face.

You are being too forward right now, my lady. Be careful.

There would be other loves. Even great loves. But she was right, only one remained perfect.

Maybe there are some people you marry and people you love.

Just so you know, you're a natural lover. Your body expresses beautifully what's in your heart.

I have never felt so alive... as when I am in your arms.

A 5 to 7 relationship is a relationship outside of marriage.

You're older than I am, you're wiser I'm sure and you've seen much more of the world.

[1-800-local-slut]

Teen Witch

This is just angst; you and Stiles break up lol. Look I know it's kinktober but I needed a break from writing porn, but we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programing tomorrow!

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

Your new carpet, ruined. How was it ruined? Your boyfriend's best friend was currently bleeding out on it, and you were very very upset with him. You'd told him so many times if he needed your help, that he needed to call first. Not break into your fucking house and make so much noise that you had to thank your lucky stars that your parents weren't home- yet.

Back to Scott, he was currently seizing on your carpet and that was a problem. In addition to the blood, he was now vomiting. A lot. They owed you two hundred dollars like right now. You grumbled, as you attempted to stabilize the seizing teenager, and Alison was holding Scott's hand while Isaac attempted to hold the new alpha in place.

It was no easy feat, he was foaming at the mouth, eyes crazed and glowing while he swung through the air almost scratching one of your eyes out. You yelped as you got down onto your knees to try and help as much as you could. What was wrong with him in the first place?

You barked out the question as you pulled out a box from under your bed. It was sealed, a sigil you had drawn with your own blood and ashes from your most recent spell after a breach through your bedroom's defenses against Ms. Blake. Opening the box, you pulled out a healing potion that you created just a few days ago when your dearest friend Lydia Martin had jumped out of her sleep muttering about 'wells' and 'ice cubes'. Now, you were no banshee but that couldn't have been a good sign from her.

"Hold his head so I can pour this into his mouth." You ordered Stiles, who was standing there a bit worthlessly at the moment. Dropping to his knees besides you, his hand brushed up against your thighs, which was a startling reminder that this happened in the middle of the night because you liked white men.

You were woken up out of your sleep in the middle of the night by Stiles standing over your bed, with that gorgeous nervous smile. It would be cute if Stiles had a key to your house or your window didn't have a steel bat holding your window open for Isaac to shove the seizing Scott through it while Allison barricaded your bedroom door.

As you poured the clear liquid down Scott's throat, and while Stiles held his snarling face in his hands, Scott really was a bit too strong for his britches. And naturally that was a problem for you. You just repaired your bedroom, which doubled as your sanctuary. Where your spell books, plants, herbs, collections, crystals, ashes, everything, were held. Where a witch rests her head at night is incredibly important.

After you had a rather rough squabble with Jennifer Blake, you had some serious repairs to make and not even a day later, Stiles was pushing someone into your bedroom window.

You couldn't have Scott destroy everything you literally just rebuilt. After all your parents were mad enough when you had to go out and pick out all of the herbs from your mothers garden.

With a small syringe, you gently turned his head over to the side and lined up with his shaking form. He was trembling and eyes were glazing over, blue liquid (?) leaking out of his mouth. You would've left him this way if not for the tremors getting more intense. What looked like rabies was not clearing up with the help of your potion. In fact, it just helped his physical ailments, but did not do much for his mental state. Without throwing up and growling he'd certainly be able to focus enough to take out one of your eyes like he almost did when they got his head down flat on a pillow.

"What is that?" Allison asked as you sunk the needle slowly into his neck and focused.

"Concentrated mountain ash." Like a vaccine almost. It was just enough to slow him down but not kill him. Maybe a little bit more for the brand-new true Alpha. Stiles winced beside you, preparing for the uproar of disapproval from Allison and Isaac. You were a bit new to town, so they weren't really used to you yet.

In the sense of, you and your family were the first witches to come to Beacon Hills in six hundred years. They were all so used to the gentle and kind nature of their emissary the lovely Alan Deaton. You were not gentle. You were a witch, loyal to yourself. And that meant drugging one of your friends to keep him from hurting you and possibly destroying your house.

Nice and gentle druids, healers who would never harm others intentionally. Kind and wise, who dedicated themselves to being helpful and supportive guides to the supernatural community around them.

Not witches. Wicked witches who cursed and hexed. Wicked witches who had the power to heal and destroy. To give and take. Wicked witches who weren't interested in getting clawed apart to save some people who think you're nothing short of evil.

So, when you came to town and were the shining star of Beacon Hills after just a few weeks they knew something was up.

Stiles, ever attracted to women who could kill him with a hard glare, fell for you faster than you could telepathically throw someone across the room.

So now, four months later, Allison was gaping at you in disbelief for poisoning her situ-relation-boyfriend-ex, whatever was going on, you didn't really care to know. Whenever Stiles tried explaining it to you, you just told him you didn't really care and went back to making out with him. And why would Stiles be mad about that?

Scott stopped struggling, the mixture of plants slowed his heart rate enough to fall into a fit full sleep. Now, the issue was your carpet turning a really nasty and wet shade of purple. Literally filled with the mixture from Scott's body. Just disgusting.

"Get this mess off of my floor, and someone is running me two hundred dollars for my carpet."

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"Okay. So, he got super rabies. And you brought him to my house?" Scott was now resting in your tub, wearing only his boxers as you had a big t-shirt he could fit into but nothing else, after you had hosed him down in your shower.

He was sweating profusely, and he muttered something about 'falling down' it was odd. You scratched your head, your bonnet sliding down your forehead. It was 1:52 in the morning.

Literally awful. Your bathroom floors were cold, it was cold in general, and they were just in your house. Allison had a slightly cold look in her eyes. The Argent girl no doubt heard about your kind. Heard about your family. And while you two had communicated before, there was no doubt she was seeing where the rumors came from now.

If Wicked Witch had a defined photo, it would be your ancestors. Your great grandma, your grandma, your aunts and cousins, your mother, and now you. You wouldn't call it wicked. More so, ambition that other creatures think to be a hindrance.

If you were so wicked, you would've tossed them all out of your house the moment you saw Stiles grinning over you. But you loved Stiles, so you could stop being devious for long enough to lend a hand. This was a bit much to ask of you though.

Lately, you and Stiles were going through something of a rough patch. You only saw each other during what seemed like moments of high stress. When you were helping Deaton, creating some sort of spell or object for the pack, or saving a life. Or running for yours.

That obviously didn't help a relationship, which often resulted in you two screaming at each other on the car ride home. And the makeup sex was starting to no longer be worth losing your energy. Was it great? Yes, but you'd like to have sex with your boyfriend without having to scream at him. Like that embarrassing spat last week where you yelled 'I hate you don't talk to me' in front of everyone and then stole his car keys forcing him to walk all the way to your house in order to get home.

The sex that night? Magical. He really gave his all into apologizing to you.

This was another fight. Because when Stiles didn't consider you, it hurt. There were boundaries- you had boundaries- and none of them seemed to understand that. Why would you want to be woken up like this? Perhaps you'd be less cross if he had stuck to his promise of making more time for you and being a bit more considerate of you having to clean up his messes. Considering he made the promise last night, you truly hoped this time it would last longer. Perhaps this just was not for you.

Pinching the bridge of your nose and taking a deep breath, you shook your head. Isaac and Allison stood in your bedroom, whispering amongst themselves, while Scott laid unconscious in the tub. Steadying yourself, you looked at Stiles who was sitting with his head down on the edge of the tub.

"Do I look like a vet?"

"...Well considering recent events-" The words died on his lips, when he saw you tearfully looking at him. Why were you crying? Because you just noticed the crack in your floor from when Scott jumped awake while you were transporting him to the tub. And once again, you realized you'd have to clean that up. Oh, also you noticed Stiles grabbing his keys in his jacket pocket. Was he about to run off and leave Scott with you here? Where was he even about to go?

Here you were, with your AP Bio test first thing tomorrow morning and your boyfriend pushed you across the line once more. How many more emergencies would fall on you? It wasn't his fault. He joined a pack. But there was a certain point that things reached.

"...This isn't working Stiles." Allison and Isaac stopped the whispering, at your low voice. Both of them turned their head to look into your bathroom where you had your arms wrapped around your stomach and had fat tears rolling down your face.

Stiles gaped in disbelief and shook his head slightly before he swallowed thickly. Glancing behind you he got up and shook out his shoulders before he closed the door to the bathroom. This was one conversation he couldn't have any one witness. And Scott was knocked out in the tub, so he hardly counted.

"There's a line Stiles. And you guys crossed it again and again. You promised me last night that you would try setting harder boundaries. You just broke into my room and my new carpet is ruined. You couldn't call? You know anytime of night you call; I answer, you text I respond. I was fine doing all of this when it felt like we were together. When we did things together. Stiles, when was the last time you took me out to dinner, when's the last time we went out on a date, when's the last time I've seen you without everyone attached to you?

You aren't even my boyfriend anymore, you're some guy who I see sometimes when he needs help. Like I'm some sort of booty call except we haven't been having any good sex either because I haven't seen you. And when we do see each other, we just fight. Or have really angry sex that I don't even enjoy anymore." It came out a soft whisper, eyes watering and lip quivering. Staring down at the floor you couldn't even look at him. You couldn't do it.

This was for the two of you. You weren't happy. Nothing he did could make up for it after tonight. You can't push that on him, that's just cruel. He swallowed thickly and you heard his voice breaking. Was he crying? Oh no. Please do not cry.

"I feel like you're only seeing my friends as a hindrance. They're your friends too you know. And it's not fair that you can refer to them that way when all they've done is try to be nice to you. We have people we have to help, and I know things are hard right now, but you know I care about you. It's just right now we're both in some difficult situations."

"That is not the issue. I do love our friends, I do. Their great. But why are you all in my house right now. When I have told you so many times not to do this. First it was a little pop in from time to time. Then it was staying over really late. You said the exact same thing to me last night when our one movie night was crashed. Now it's this. I don't think it's your fault. I think you shouldn't be with me right now Stiles. I don't know if you don't have the time, don't want to make the time or can't make the time, I don't know. But I don't want to keep waiting for you to figure it out."

Stepping away from his outstretched arm when he wanted to pull you closer. Flinching he withdrew his hand when he saw you put your hand up to stop him.

"There are boundaries. I have boundaries-

"And I pushed them again." He finished, the sentence you'd been repeatedly screaming at him over and over again since the issues between you two arose.

Then it was over. The first conversation you two had in over a month that didn't end in screaming, tears, fighting, the both of you insisting you'd never let the other go, and instead of you two having a normal talk it was you two breaking up.

And your rug was still ruined.

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[froggywritesstuff]

not so sweet 16th | rise!leo

ship/pairing: Rise!Leo x g/n!reader (can be read as platonic or romantic)

fandom: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

warnings: crying, breakdowns, fear of growing up, definitely ooc but it could've been worse, slightly proofread

word count: 896

A/N: incredibly self indulgent, i had this exact breakdown the night before my 16th birthday a few months ago 

Leo sat up in his bed when he saw the message notification from you, his face screwing into an expression of worry as he read your text. It wasn't unusual for you to invite him over in the evening or at night. He didn't have to worry about someone seeing him if it was dark. But it was almost midnight, far later than any time you would've normally invited him over on a school night. He hurried out of his bed and texted that he'd be there soon. Slipping out of his pj's and grabbing his ōdachi, he wasted no time making a portal to your room, praying that his portalling skills wouldn't let him down. He breathed an audible sigh of relief when he recognised your room, but the relief disappeared as quick as it appeared when he saw your shaking body hidden under a blanket on your bed. He approached you cautiously, his heart sinking as he heard your quiet sobs.

"Hey," he says quietly, sitting on your bed beside you, "Everything ok?" most of your face was hidden by the blanket, but he could see you looking down at your lap, your hands holding onto your phone so tightly he was worried it would crack into pieces in your hands.

You just shake your head, tilting your phone screen his way and showing him a timer counting down with only minutes left. Leo saw it and the time on your phone clock and instantly knew why you were upset.

”Is this about your birthday?” he asked despite knowing the answer.

You nodded, swallowing nervously “I’m not ready to be 16.” he watched as you finally turned your head to face him, your tear filled eyes meeting his as the blanket fell onto your shoulders, “I’m scared, Leo.”

Leo wrapped his arm around your shoulder, wanting to be as comforting as possible while trying to figure out what exactly was wrong, “What… why are you scared?” he asked, his voice as soft as it could possibly be.

”Because,” you breathed out, wiping your eyes, “15 to 16 is basically the transition from people treating you like a teenager to a young adult. People start expecting you to start thinking about adult stuff, like driving, and university, and it’s ok if you don’t know what you wanna do after school but also you should definitely know. And… I’m just not ready to stop being a kid.”

Leo felt your head lean on his shoulder, small tears beginning to drip onto his skin. “All this adult stuff, it sounds scary. But it doesn’t mean you have to stop being a kid. At least around us anyway.”

”In two years I’ll legally have to stop being a kid.” you spoke, your voice thick with tears.

Leo chewed the inside of his cheek, thinking before speaking, his hand rubbing small circles on your shoulder, “Well anytime you wanna get away from the law, you can call me, or Donnie, or any one of us, and you can hang in the lair with us. We won’t call the cops on you for watching cartoons made for kids, or falling off of a skateboard.”

Your body shook with a small laugh at his words, “Shut up, I don’t fall off anymore.”

A smile grew on Leo’s lips as he heard your laughter, “Oh you definitely do.”

”Well with a teacher like you…” you trail off, suppressing a smile as you hear Leo’s offended scoff.

”Wowww. Not even my age and you think you're better than me." he drawled teasingly, though his words held no ill intent.

His words drew a sigh from your lips, and your head tilted down to your phone screen, "Two minutes."

Leo's smile fell as he saw your entire demeanour change. He took a breath, before gently placing his hands on yours, slowly pushing the phone away from you, "Look. I... I know you're scared about all this, which I get, I'm not tryna tell you not to be. But I don’t think watching that will make you feel any better.”

”Yeah…” you huff, putting your phone down, bringing your hand up to wipe the tears from your cheeks, “you’re probably right… do you have any other ideas?”

Without another word, Leo stood up from the bed, unsheathing his ōdachi and proceeding to wave it around, making you hold up your arms as a shield. With a slight woosh and a faint glow of the colour blue briefly illuminating your room, Leo turned to face you, his once proud demeanour suddenly defeated at the sight of your arms up in defence.

”Do you have no faith in me?”

At the sound of his voice, you rested your arms and shrugged at him, “There have been many portalling incidents before, you can’t blame me for being cautious. Also is that cake in your hands?” you changed your tone at the sight of the dessert in his hands.

”It is.” he sat back down, making sure to hold the cake up high above his head so you couldn’t reach it, “Unfortunately, it’s only for kind people who don’t mock me.” 

You frowned, "You can't make an exception for me? The soon to be birthday kid?"

Handing you one of the two forks on the plate, Leo sighed, the corners of his lips tilting upwards slightly, "Just this once."

[archangeldyke-all]

can you write something about amab ceo sev and her trans identity and story, i love ceo sev sm she has my whole heart

yeah lets do it!

quick disclaimer! i'm cis, so if there's any mistakes/missteps lmk and i will fix it asap!

men and minors dni

i imagine sevika as one of those people who's just always known who they are. not just in terms of queerness, but like, just opinions and taste and personality in general.

so i think when she was a kid, she likely knew she was trans, just like she knew she liked women. she might not have had the vocabulary to name it, or known that other people feel it, but she never questioned it about herself specifically.

i dont think she would've told anyone, though.

sevika's incredibly perceptive-- she would have known, even as a kid, how talking about the different feelings she was having could upset people, or get her in trouble.

she found the words for what she'd always known to be true about herself when she was an early teenager. sevika's a big reader, and she was one of those kids who wants to know how everything works: from machines to nature to politics to society-- she'd stumble across the complexities of gender identity earlier than most kids do.

but again, she didn't tell anyone. sevika's no stranger to how horrible people can be-- she didn't want to give anybody an extra reason to fuck with her. instead, she just kept to herself, finding comfort in reading as many books and articles on queerness and transness that she could get her hands on.

she understood early on what she was up against, being a trans, gay, brown/black woman in this society. but she never let it deter her.

the second she turned fifteen she got a job as a busser at a restaurant in her town. she saved every penny-- and she worked all the time. besides the occasional pack of gum and pair of socks, the only thing sevika ever bought in was a junker of a car from her neighbor-- only $500.

she repaired it on her own during her free time. (of which, there was hardly any.)

the second she turned eighteen, sevika packed up her belongings in the backseat of her car and left her hometown never to return. it was now that she could finally start living her truth.

with her saving she managed to get an apartment to lease for a few months while she scrambled for a job. for a while, she was bouncing from security job to security job, but then she managed to snag a stable position as a saleswoman.

with her new job she got benefits. a 401k and healthcare.

she started going to therapy at, like, 20. again-- sevika's incredibly self aware. she was laying in bed staring at the ceiling once night, and she just thought to herself 'huh, you know, i've kinda been through a lot. i'm kinda going through a lot. i should... probably go to therapy.' and then she just did.

it took her a few tries to find a good therapist, but then she met a four foot tall little old lady who looked like mrs. clause but cursed like a sailor. sevika fell in love the moment they met.

mrs. clause-- or dr. walsh-- was a no-nonsense, no-bullshit kind of lady. each time sevika would try to downplay her achievements or doubt herself, dr. walsh would throw a crumbled postit at her face and rant-encourage-remind sevika about her strength and bravery.

with dr. walsh's help, sevika started to see her future as something that could be... positive. she'd been so focused on escaping the past, she forgot she could look forward. but once she did-- she was exhilarated.

it was definetly an, 'oh, shit, i can do anything i fucking want' moment for her.

she knew that she had it in her to do it-- she'd proven it to herself time and time again-- now she just had to decide what she wanted to do.

it took her a while, a lot of research and soul searching, but by the time she was 22 she started to socially transition.

her hair'd always been long, but she finally treated herself to a visit to a salon-- getting it styled in the perfect slightly slanted bob she'd always wanted. she made a promise to herself in the parking lot that she'd never cut her own hair again, she was so fucking thrilled with the experience and the outcome. (her stylist was a huge gossip-- spent the entire time telling sevika about her sister's sex life. sevika had a blast)

she started treating herself to more clothes. custom tailored suits for the office-- blouses and button ups and fun silky ties for underneath.

(all the while, she was effortlessly climbing the ranks at work. despite the horrible office culture in a competitive environment like sales-- money talks. and sevika was outselling all her co-workers.)

she found the name 'sevika' one day completely randomly. she hadn't really given changing her name any thought until her eyes glanced over the name in contact screen of a stranger's phone-- but she couldn't get the sound of it out of her head.

at 25, sevika started to medically transition. with a lot of research, both on her and dr. walsh's end-- she started estrogen.

she was thrilled. she knew changes couldn't be seen on a day to day basis-- but she swore every day she woke up looking and feeling more and more like her.

always a gym rat-- sevika's muscular frame started to carry a little more curve.

she smiled for a full six hours the first time she noticed her ass jiggling in the full length mirrors at the gym as she did burpies.

sevika was no stranger to eyeliner having gone through a bit of an emo phase as a kid-- but beyond that she found the sensory feeling of makeup unbearable.

but when she found out that there was such a thing as tattoo-able makeup-- you bet your ass she made an appointment. it hurt like a bitch but it was worth it when she could have perfectly defined dark lips all throughout the day no matter how many coffee cups she sipped from or chicken burritos she sank her teeth into.

at work, sevika had worked her way up so high the ranks that nobody dared to give her shit anymore. and when they did-- she just fired them.

she spent her late 20s dating around. she had a few girlfriends and a lot of flings, but nothing ever really worked for her. it did give her a shit-ton of confidence though.

the more herself she became-- both in her body and in her job and in her bed-- the bigger and brighter her future seemed.

this isn't to say she never had shitty days. she had plenty. some she journaled about, some she cried about, some she boxed about, some she called dr. walsh about. the worst ones she drank about-- though as she was growing up the hangovers were making this one less tolerable.

people are assholes. dysphoria is a fucking asshole. sevika's boss was an asshole. but when she felt close to drowning-- when she felt the grief and sadness and the self-destructive urges creep up-- she just closed her eyes and thought of herself at fourteen-- cooking up a plan to get as far away from home as she could. she imagines herself meeting teenage-sev, telling her all the things she'd come to do, (and all the girls she'd come to do, if you know what i mean, wink wink, nudge nudge) and she imagines how fuckin' proud little emo-acne-riddled-brace-face sevika would be of her.

it works every time.

on her thirtieth birthday, she bought herself a breast augmentation. she loved her tits-- but she just wanted a little more. she wanted to have to wear a bra under her silky button ups, instead of it being optional. but once she got them done she was so fucking thrilled she didn't want to wear a bra under her button ups. (she did, of course, because wasn't trying to cause an hr nightmare at work.)

when dr. walsh died-- sevika was devastated. there were a few months there where she was in complete depression. she made no attempt to find a new therapist-- she took as much paid time off from work as she could, just to sit around her house alone.

but then one night-- sevika swears on her life-- dr. walsh visited her in a dream with a message

'you better get your shit together girl! don't let all my hard work go to waste!'

sevika woke up the next morning laughing and crying, and she was back at work the next day.

she found a new therapist, and she forced herself to make new friends, suddenly aware that the only person in the world who knew her had died.

she started hanging out with some of her more tolerable co-workers, and she was shocked to realize that most of them were... actually pretty cool.

she started taking herself out to dinner-- just her and a book-- just so she could spend more time with herself.

she made it a point to take a vacation once every six months.

and when the ceo of her company stepped down, she was riding on a high. she was feeling good about life, so she decided: fuck it.

and she applied for the open position.

and then she got the job.

and at thirty five, sevika finally felt like she was in her bright future-- not just working towards it.

the night before her first night on the job-- sevika's mind was racing.

there were so many changes she needed to make, so many ideas she had to implement in the company. not to mention the fact that she had to buy furniture for her new office, and find an assistant-- and a good assistant is really fucking hard to come by-- and was she sure she could really do this job in the first place? what if she made a mistake accepting it-- what if she can't handle it--

sevika cut her racing thoughts off, scrubbing her face. she took a second to breathe, then she conjured up little-sev in her mind to give her an update and get a pep talk.

who the fuck are you? little teenage sevika asked, huffing as she had to shove her headphones off her ears.

'i'm you, jackass.'

...woah. we look... hot...

'duh.'

how did that happen?

'moved away, worked hard, got lucky, got rich.' sevika says, watching her younger self's eyebrows rise.

shit... look at our tits!

'i know-- they're great, right?'

fuck yeah. well... whaddya want?

'wanted to tell you we just got promoted to ceo.'

...really?

'yeah. we start tomorrow.'

...us?

'yeah. we're like... kind of a big deal now.'

...woah.

'yeah woah.'

then, just as she's about to drift off to sleep, sevika's mind speaks again.

...soooo... have we met our wife yet?

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for coming out as bi to my girlfriend and voicing my concerns to her

I (18M) have been dating my girlfriend, L (20F) for three years now. our relationship has been great so far, we were attracted to each other from the start. she has always been very flirty and tbh that's how she won me over at first, because teenage hormones are gonna teenage hormones y'know, but when I got to know her better as a person I realized my feelings for her weren't just sexual - she is kind, gentle, overall really sweet. I was, and still am, attracted to her in every way. L is also openly bisexual, fully out, and idk I've always felt so safe around her because she doesn't judge others, I think she's so beautiful inside and out. she has been my first girlfriend ever so I always do my best to be supportive and make her feel loved.

a few months ago I realized I'm bi. I thought, hey, since she always speaks about her own bisexuality I think I can tell her I'm bi as well. she was, as usual, very non-judgemental but she said something that I didn't like, something like "you see how much I love and trust you? someone else would've been like OMG YOU'RE PROBABLY JUST GAY AND YOU WANT TO CHEAT ON ME WITH A GUY". I was,, confused bc 1. I think supporting your partner when they come out is the bare minimum, 2. she is bisexual herself and I don't think shes gonna cheat on me with a girl, I never acted like I was great for supporting her and 3. I know I'm not gay because L can do whatever she wants with me so I dunno what that comment was for. I've enjoyed my intimate encounters with her too much to be gay and she knows this.

I was a bit annoyed but still grateful that she was supportive. I noticed our sexual activities increased after that and a part of me wondered if she was trying to make sure I'm not gay. which made her look like a bit of a hypocrite because she never had to "prove" to me that she's not gay. not complaining tho - I just found it odd? I think it's a weird double standard, but then again I know women are always putting up with double standards so I feel like I can't tell her abt how strange her comment was. I just don't want L to think I'm not attracted to her and I started feeling like an asshole for telling her I'm bi.

but she got actually upset over something else that has nothing to do with us being bi - when we first started talking, she was dating another guy. I knew this, so I was respectful, I thought that L being flirty with me was some kind of joke until she told me she was serious and she couldn't stop thinking about me. L didn't cheat on him, she broke up with him before she started dating me, and recently I told her "hey... I won't be that guy one day, right? I trust you and I know you won't cheat on me, but I remembered how our friendship first started and if you ever stop loving me I would like to know before you feel ignored enough to start flirting with other guys". she got very visibly upset, she said I was right, said she felt cheap and like a whore and ???? NOT AT ALL WHAT I FUCKING MEANT. I was trying to tell her I want us to have communication, because I love her and I want our relationship to work out.

I feel like a shitty person and boyfriend, first for telling her I'm bi even though it wouldn't have an impact on our relationship, then for trying to voice my concerns and accidentally making her feel that way.

I've apologized a few times and we're good now but she introduced me to her best friend and,, this girl just started talking abt how she will guide me so I can properly take care of L? it made me feel really stupid. I felt like a child tbh. we are bi but not poly (I respect those who are, just giving you context) so idk why she felt she had to insert her friend into our relationship. am I really so bad that my girlfriend has to ask her friend to teach me how to be good to her? I would understand this if L had some sort of disability but her friend just talks to me about BDSM and doms/subs and like ??? I feel like L being a sub has fuck all to do with our argument, but I still feel terrible. pls help me make sense of these things. I want to know if I am the asshole.

[mewhenimanangel]

—synopsis. you finally perform the solo you’d been practicing for the last three months. eren is sure to show up for you

—chapter 8 ౨ৎ

𝜗𝜚content!: au-high school, teenage romance, black reader, ballet dancer reader, cheesy romance, idiots in love

previous ౨ৎ next ౨ৎ

"you did what?!" lana whisper-yelled, scolding you as you stretched on the barre. you told her about how you blew off eren's date and told him off monday morning. she asked you how you and eren were doing since she hasn't seen you guys together all week.

you told her about how painfully awkward math class was. for the first time since sitting with each other, you and eren spent the entire lesson focused on mr ryan and writing down the notes. you even moved your self over a bit so to not bump against him.

"is this because of your dad?" lana asked. you rolled your eyes, she knew you too well. during your depressive episodes, lana was the one person you never successfully pushed away. she would show up to your house with snacks and a stuffed animal she thought you would like, your room was growing a collection at this point.

she would then spend the night with you in your bed so you weren't alone.

"maybe it is" you told her as you changed positions according to mrs jaeger's instructions.

"dude. i'm sorry but you can't keep doing this" she scoffed. "what? don't tell me how to cope with my feelings" you got a little defensive.

"you can't be serious." lana deadpanned "girls. focus." mrs jaeger said. "we're not done with this conversation" she whispered.

once mrs jaeger was done with practice, you joined lana at your designated spot in the room.

"listen i know how you get but eren didn't deserve that. he actually really likes you" she chugged her water before continuing "the fact that he even came up to you proves that. don't shut him out."

"fine you're right that he doesn't deserve it but..i think we might as well just leave it there. the show's in a week and i've been slacking off. plus i saw that he followed historia on ig again" you scoffed.

"okay that part is weird. but you can't be upset when you're the one that literally told him to go back to her. that's literally your fault"

"ugh shut up it's not like i meant for him to literally do it." "relax, i don't think they're back together. it's just a follow. connie would've told me if they did get back together"

"ugh i guess you're right" you sighed, grabbing your duffel bag. "practice?" she asked and you nod your head.

"you want me to come back to take you home?" she asked you. "nah it's fine i'll call my mom" you left the room.

you looked down at your phone for a second before you managed to bump into someone. "sorr- oh." annie cut herself off when she saw you.

you rolled your eyes before beginning to walk away. "so how are you?" she put on a phony apologetic voice. "what do you mean?" you furrowed your eyebrows.

"well rumor has it that you and eren are done and he's back with historia. that's gotta hurt doesn't it?" she frowned. "i wonder if mrs jaeger is gonna give me the solo now that you've broken her poor son's heart after slutting yourself out"

"...annie do you fucking hear yourself?  whatever the fuck i have going on has nothing to do with you or this solo. i never got the solo because i was talking to eren, i got it cause i'm actually a good dancer and i know how to do a basic fucking spin." you scoffed.

you put your earbuds in and walked away before she could say anything else. it's like everything in your life was just trying to test you this last week.

you spent the next two hours perfecting your solo and going over your parts in the recital.

unbeknownst to you, eren was out in the hallway watching. he subconsciously stopped outside the room when he was going to ask his mom for the keys to the house again.

eren wondered why you even still bothered with these long practices when every move you did while practicing was perfect. it was kind of silly to him. you spun around and eren quickly ducked past the window he was creeping from.

you furrowed your eyebrows, swearing you'd just seen someone standing there.

by this point you were starving, tired, and developing a headache so you decided it was best to call it a night, calling your mom to tell her you were done. you stumbled out of your pointe shoes and changed into the slides you'd brought with you earlier, putting on a pair of sweats over your shorts.

ʚɞ listen to cherry!

you were practically hyperventilating backstage. today was show day, meaning all the dance recitals including your solo. you were so nervous you felt your heart would drop out of your chest.

"dude relax, it's okay. you're gonna do amazing!" lana threw her arm around you. "yeah for real, we've all seen the way you practiced you're gonna do so fucking good" your friend kailee nod her head.

so far you had danced in your hiphop performance, your class's contemporary piece and your solo was coming up after the next performance, you would be closing the recital.

you were currently dressed in a garnet red backless leotard that had a ruffled skirt like hem, white pantyhose, and a pair of white leg warmers.

your hair was slicked back in the tightest bun with a red peony hairpiece while lana helped you with your makeup after you ended up running a little late this morning. "you actually look perfect" kailee handed you a mirror.

"y/n i hope you're stretched, you're up in two minutes!" mrs jaeger came up to you. your heart dropped all over again hearing those words.

lana and kailee squealed as you got up from the ground and started heading closer to the stage.

you took deep breaths as you waited for the school director to announce your name and you walked out on to stage, waiting for the music to start.

you gracefully danced along to the song, making sure the three months of long and intense practices were evident in the way you move.

you were running on adrenaline, making your body shake before you subconsciously shut the audience out and focused on your movements.

you sharpened every kick, graced every pirouette and every spin, matched your movements with the beat and lyrics of the song.

you pretended there wasn't a crowd of people - which was easy due to the dim lights in the auditorium, you pretended it was just you in the room, you pretended it was just you practicing in front of eren while he sat on the floor of the studio and watched your every move.

you wanted to make every move perfect just for him, even if he wasn't there in the crowd. you couldn't but relate the song to your situation with him as you passionately matched the energy of the song. 'I fall to pieces when I'm with you (why?) Cause I love you so much' you memorized those lyrics throughout your practices, you dragged your right leg back behind you as you bent your body back, lowering your self to the ground to match the dramatics of the music.

you looked into the audience, tripping every so slightly when you saw eren looking back at you. he was in the front row with connie, elbows on the armrests as he held his hands in front of his mouth, studying your every move intently. 

eren had memorized these moves and knew the dance was almost over. his gaze never left you and he noticed how your foot slipped when your eyes met his. but you managed to catch yourself, he loved that about you, you always seemed to find a way to get back up.

once you heard the last beat of the song that you'd become familiar with in the last three months you ended your dance in a pose - laying sideways on the floor with one arm holding you up and the other draped over your head, your eyes didn't leave eren's as you tried to hide your heavy breaths.

you tuned back in once you heard everyone in the audience begin to clap and cheer for you. you got up from the ground, smiled, and curtseyed before leaving the stage as the curtains closed.

once you were back stage, lana and kailee hugged you and began jumping around and squealing.

"i don't know WHY you were nervous that has to be the best performance of the whole show" lana praised you. "yeah seriously everything was perfect" kailee nod her head. the other girls back stage clapped along for you too.

mrs jaeger came over to the three of you clapping her hands before reaching out to hug you. "that was beautiful y/n! i knew i made the right decision making you my soloist. every last move was so graceful, even when you tripped and made it look as though it was part of the routine" she told you.

"thank you mrs jaeger" you smiled. "such a beautiful end to such an amazing recital. you all did wonderful jobs this evening i am truly proud. everyone give yourselves a round of applause"

after taking a group picture, you all went to the dressing rooms to grab your things and meet your families in the auditorium.

you grabbed your duffel bag and put on your sneakers. "we ate every performance up oh my goddd" lana squealed as you walked to join the crowd in the audience. on the way there you bumped into mina and annie who rolled her eyes when she saw you.

"nice performance. you looked somewhat decent" she sighed. "thanks" you scoffed before walking away with lana.

for some reason it hit you hard that this would be your last performance, it was almost bittersweet. "can't believe we're leaving this place after this year" lana sighed as you entered the auditorium.

"it's crazy we're literally graduating.."

you scanned the audience for your mom before she turned around, smiling as she made her way to you. "ohhh my baby. you did so good, it was beautiful! and you had the audacity to be nervous like you weren't gonna blow the crowd away!" she hugged you and bobbed from side to side.

"you liked it?" you smiled. "i loved it!" she cheered as she gave you the bouquet of pink peonies. "yeah you actually looked really good" enya chimed in. "thanks kid" you smiled as you brought her in for a side hug.

"ohhh and lana you looked amazing up there sweetie" she pulled your friend into a hug. "every chasse every spin every move ugh you girls are perfect. you keep me young" your mom pulled you into the group hug.

"thank you so much mrs l/n" lana grinned. "oh hang on i'll see you guys later i see my dad" she told you as you all said goodbye.

mrs jaeger came over to you and your mom to congratulate you and praise your work to your mom. "she's such a wonderful dancer, i'm going to miss her next year" she turned to smile at you. "i'll always visit" you smiled.

the four of you turned around when you heard someone clear their throat behind you. your heart sank when you saw eren standing there. he wore a black polo shirt and baggy black jeans.

your mom and mrs jaeger each other a look "sweetie i'll be outside okay?" your mom told you as they stepped away.

"hey" eren stepped closer to you, reaching for a hug. "hi" you threw your arm around him pulling him into the embrace.

"you looked amazing up there" he pulled away to look at your outfit.

eren didn't tell you he was gonna be at the recital but connie brought him along.

watching you dance was always nice but watching you dance your heart out on stage was just so beautiful and encapsulating. eren couldn't get enough of you. everything about you was so graceful and beautiful all the time.

he knew he had to see you once you were done, but he was nervous considering the two of you hadn't spoken much in the last two weeks. he was shocked you even hugged him.

"thank you, did you like my solo?" you grinned. "it was fucking amazing. i don't know what you were so scared of, those practices definitely paid off." he smiled.

"they definitely did" you nod your head, a friendly gesture. "thanks for coming, i didn't think you would" you told him.

"of course i would, i was with you so much when you practiced i had to come see the final product" he smirked as he bumped your shoulder.

your mom came up behind you and put her hand on your shoulder. "hi, i'm y/n's mom" she smiled as she put her hand out for eren to shake. "hi it's nice to meet you, i'm eren" he told her.

"oh well it's nice to finally put a face to the name, i've heard so much about you" she told him and your face dropped when you realized what she meant. eren looked at you with a cocky grin on his face and you smiled before rolling your eyes.

"well it was really nice meeting you but we're gonna have to head out if we wanna make those dinner reservations" your mom turned to you. "oh right" you looked back at eren.

"seriously thanks for coming" you hugged him again and his hands lingered on your waist for a beat longer than they should've.

"of course, i'll see you later" he waved to you and your mom.

nia’s ౨ৎ notes: lmaooo can y’all tell i couldn’t wait to make them talk again

[wilcze-kudly]

Suyin wasn't "coerced" to commit a crime, neither did she want to take herself out of the situation. She wanted to get her friends out of paying for their crimes because she's spoiled and entitled.

She didn't "have" to travel the world, she was sent to family members to take her away from a criminal and endangering environment, and she decided to escape because she's too much of a pick me girl to stay with the so called family "that didn't show her affection". To be honest, you speak of her as some kind of adult avatar-styled Rapunzel, instead of a teenager who deserved to be reprimanded.

She did turn her life around, and kudos to the creators for showing that. No one can say that her story and background is boring by any chance.

She, however, is not the most likeable character out there to a big part of the fandom, but I seriously doubt someone is taking it as seriously as you seem to do. Just chill.

Istg this happens almost everytime I post something mildly touching on the fact that Suyin deserves compassion too. Though you may be the same anon who blew up my inbox a while back so it might just be you.

I've always found the disdain we have for "troubled teens" upsetting because usually, when a teenager "acts out", there's more of a reason behind it that just "ooh they're spoilt or entitled".

[Trigger warning for self harm and suicidal ideation mentions]

Like, I was a very difficult teen back in the day. I argued with my parents, even got into physical altercations, skipped school, ran away from home at night. I was also going through a severe depression, dealing with a shitton of childhood trauma, cutting on the regular and making multiple attempts on my life. Hell, if my parents had brushed me off as "a kid who needs to be disciplined" I probably would've killed myself at 14. It doesn't excuse me for punching my dad in the stomach when he was just trying to stop me from running away into the night but it doesn't mean I didn't deserve help.

[End of Trigger Warning]

These two things can be correct at the same time. Suyin can have done a shitty thing that deserves reprimand and that she needs help that she seemingly had to find on her own. But like, guess which of these two is almost exclusively focused on.

And I mean, it's totally not like the Avatar fandom has a habit of expressing extreme hate towards young girls (especially young girls of colour) making sub optimal choices or just beind "annoying". I've just never seen that before.

Suyin grew up with Toph, who Lin herself has described like this:

Suyin : No, no. My children are a blessing. Lin: Yeah, mom used to say that too, but she never meant it.

Which btw, still an incredibly hillarious thing to say in front of Suyin's children: "Hi kids I'm your aunt Lin and your mother is lying about loving you"

While Suyin has, as a child, expressed doubt that Toph would even care that she's skipping school. And as an adult, she has described her childhood with Lin as "competing for their mother's affection" and still has doubts whether or not her mother is happy with how either of them turned out.

Hell, even though Su and Toph have been said to have made up, Toph still maintains a heavy layer of distance between them, seemingly dissappearing for years at a time!

It's honestly sad how Suyin hugs Toph and puts up statues of her everywhere in Zaofu and yet Toph still just fucked off to the swamp when Opal was probably less then ten and did not contact them.

I mean, sounds like there's not a lot of motherly affection going on there, dude. Idk what to tell ya. We know there were no fathers around either.

And Lin was also a victim of this environment, so I don't really want this to come off as me blaming her for the way she acted towards Su. But Lin is hardly what I would call affectionate.

So of course Suyin would put so much stock in her relationships outside the house. And her friends happened to be fucking criminals fucking hell. And of course Lin, being a kid too did not know how to approach this situation properly, so she inadvertently just pushed Suyin closer to them by insulting them and making her feel defensive.

Because that's what all fucking teens do. The internalise things, they rely on their peers to form their perception of things and they want to be independent. So when someone, especially someone who isn't a parent tries to control them, guess how they'll react? They dig their heels in. Especially a teen like Suyin who has virtually no reason to listen to her older sister other than a vague "I know better than you" type of vibe which really pisses teens off. That's like the time when talking down to them is the worst thing to do.

And fuck off with saying getting arrested and screamed at by your sister in the middle of the road isn't a stressful situation that you wolud wanna get out of. Lin punched a car so hard it dented! (Especially that Lin has already been confirmed to use her status as a police officer against people she has a vendetta against, like when SHE TRIED TO THROW PEMA IN JAIL FOR STEALING HER MANS like how tf did we brush over that)

What I always find interesting in this scene is the front that Su puts on in front of Lin, which slips up a few times, particularly when Lin can't see her expression. Because Suyin is, of course being a fucking brat and taunting Lin, but you can clearly see that she's stressed out.

Suyin also describing the reason she helped her friends as a getaway driver is something I find interesting:

Suyin: I didn't steal anything. I just drove the car. I owed my friends a favor. It's not a big deal.

Of course she's scared and minimising her involvement but the usage of "owing her friends" could very easily imply her not exactly being too hyped about this, as well as her insistence on not stealing anything.

Because the thing about Suyin is that, especially in the flashbacks, we see her only in Lin's PoV. We don't see her relationship with her friends, what led up to the robbery, anything. Which makes sense, because the flashbacks are supposed to be Lin's. But that means we're viewing Su with the inherent bias of Lin, who clearly has an agenda against Su.

Lin clearly blames Suyin for Toph leaving policework, despite us later seeing how burnt out and cynical Toph was about being a cop. Its more likely that Su's arrest was a wake-up call for Toph, but she left due to the buildup of stress and disillusionment and Lin, who has been idolising her mother and her mother's career blamed it on Suyin in her head.

Hell, even they made up, Lin still immediately pivots to accusing Suyin of being involved in the Red Lotus' attack. Despite the attack placing Suyin's life, the lives of her sons and the lives of her guards at risk and Suyin going out of her way to thwart it.

And Suyin's life is just a fucking mess after this point like: betrayal by close friend, daughter kidnapped by terrorists, anarchy in the kingdom, leaders of 2 foreign governments trying to pressure her into subjugating the people in the name of a monarch she doesn't support, betrayal part 2; child boogaloo, the country she lives in being declared a dictatorship, city under literal siege, threat of attack in 24 hours, the fucking Avatar doing fuck all to help, a desperate attempt at assassinating the leader, getting caught and placed in questionably humane restraints, having to watch her daughter be forced to flee, PUBKIC HUMILIATION, the arrest of her non combative son and husbandd, INHUMANE JAIL CELL...

Do I need to go on? Like the moment the Krew came to her gouse her life just started to fucking fall apart its actually kinda hillarious.

And calling Suyin a "pick me" is just... unfounded? Who's she trying to get picked by? Her mom who doesn't love her? Girlie just wanted a family she literally said so in the show, put your listening ears on, babes.

I understand that Suyin isn't the most likeable character to people. I can understand why they dislike her. She can be annoying, hypocritical, rash, the poor structuring of the episodes around her and Lin makes it so she gets unearned favour from the writers etc. People who like Lin and Kuvira, two extremely popular characters in the fandom have an easy villain in their faves' lives if they just tweak Suyin a bit.

But that doesn't mean I'm obligated to dislike her too or that I'm not allowed to post about her in a way that doesn't allign with the fandom's narrative of her. You're not obligated to read it, hun, you can block the #pro suyin beifong tag if it makes you that upset to see me

I want to appreciate parts of Suyin which aren't highlighted by the fandom and I'm allowed to do that. Just because it doesn't fit with your clearly overtly negative opion of the character well, tough luck. And hey, I gladly take the opportunity to talk about Suyin, but I've also made a ridiculous amount of posts around har and have probably addressed almost every single fandom complaint of her at some point so I'm starting to get a little tired of repeating myself lol.

And I'll be the first to admit, my own teenage years probably heavily affect how compassionate I am towards Suyin, particularly in her younger years. But I know how much people hate "troubled teens", how little compassion thet are given.

The narrative that if a misbehaving teenager just gets deisciplined and reprimanded enough they'll stop being "spoilt and entitled" or acting out is wrong and harmful. It hurts tons of teenagers by not getting them the help they need and it would've fucking killed me.

Also hun, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I tend to use hyperbole a lot. I'm a dramatic bitch. Like did you also think I was serious when I said I'd shoot myself if I saw another ad for Amazon's shit lotr wannabe show?

Tbh everytime I get an ask like this I vaguely consider doubling down and commiting to the bit of being the fandom's "Lin Beifong hater". Though I feel like a lot of people wouldn't realise its a bit and think I actually hate her for real lol.

[creedslove]

HEARTLESS 💔 - PART FIFTEEN

Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels) x f!reader

Summary: the aftermath of Wyatt's birthday party. You and Jack end up hurting each other with your different points of view, but your love is stronger

(This is the fifth chapter of the HEARTLESS 💔 series)

• PART ONE TO FOURTEEN ON MY MASTERLIST

Warnings: angst, two idiots in love, fluff, mom!reader

A/N: besties, I love this chapter very much, I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do. Our cowboy deserves nothing but the best and I know how much you've missed him! I have missed him too! ❤️

5.6k words

You smiled at the pictures and at your son the entire time, a part of you was indeed extremely happy to be there, holding your baby boy who was now growing into a wonderful child, turning four and blowing his candles next to his daddy for the first time in his life. He looked at everyone who gathered around and sang him happy birthday with awe, never seen so many people cheering on him, gifting him presents, not to mention the other presents he got from his daddy before. Wyatt was having the best day of his little life, amongst others best days of his life, ever since his father came into the picture, he made sure to make things memorable for him.

On the other, you were feeling a hint of hurt, perhaps a melancholy even, too many emotions happening all at once: you and Jack making out constantly like horny teenagers, that felt pretty good, giving you a sense of freedom, finally expressing your feelings and your hormones, the things you'd been so desperately trying to hide from the others as well as from yourself, for a long time you carried with shame the love you felt for Jack Daniels, after what he did to you and your son. You never thought it would even be possible to express those feelings you desperately pretended to be non-existent, but again, that cowboy had his own way to make your world upside down and his gentle attitude, loving words, warm eyes and a tight, manly grip around your body had you hostage again, you simply couldn't break free from Jack Daniels, even if you tried to - and you did, for very long - he just had a way to keep you his. It felt bittersweet to know you were free to be with him, now Frankie was out of the picture, which was also partially why you felt upset. It's not a matter of breaking up with him, even if Whiskey wasn't in the picture, you and Frankie would end up splitting up sooner or later; he was just too close to his ex-wife to be over her, your relationship was just a consequence of two lonely people looking for a hook-up online. He was handsome, sweet and a good kisser, but you weren't in love with him, your heart was never open to anyone but the cowboy that both disgraced your life and also added a sense to it. It was only a matter of time until either of you would have to start the unpleasant conversation and get things done with; however, what made you upset was the way the break-up happened. Perhaps it would've been better if it didn't happen in the middle of your son's birthday party and though there wasn't a scene apart from when his daughter bit your son, it still felt odd. You were disappointed in Frankie for finding out he'd been hiding things from you, but just because of that, you didn't think it was appropriate for Jack to throw Frankie's dossier onto his lap as if they were in the middle of an interrogation. You were thankful your cowboy was protective and willing to take the risks to help and protect you, but you knew you would've handled things differently. Still, things were done and they'd remain that way, you were at least thankful you didn't have to handle things like that at all.

But Jack still pressured you and made you uncomfortable, he was already talking about marriage, kids and you weren't there yet. Of course you wanted to spend time with your cowboy, you were willing to make things right for your family, for your son and also for yourself, but you didn't want to get married and let alone have more kids. You didn't trust Jack with getting you pregnant, the trauma and the sadness you went through in a moment that was supposed to be one of the best and happiest of your life was too present, you still had nightmares about it and you were not willing to let it repeat itself, even if your cowboy got on his knees and swore to you he'd never do anything like that, you wouldn't like to figure out by yourself.

You couldn't lie to yourself if you said you hadn't let your mind wander and dared to think of an alternative scenario where you went all the way with Jack: marriage and another kid. Perhaps it could work, you had no way to guess if it would, but you decided to be safe rather than sorry and immediately draw the line. You could tell he'd become upset at your immediate refusal right under the willow tree, he was surprisingly soft when it came to family business and it wouldn't be different when you weren't interested in his future plans. Jack Daniels was a traditional man, he was one to get married and settle down, just like he'd been taught from a young age, like real men were supposed to do. He thought that now that you and him were finally on the same page about becoming a real family and giving it a shot, you would also agree with him. He thought you'd say yes to his proposal even if it wasn't official yet and also his idea to give Wyatt a baby brother or baby sister. However, you'd said no. He couldn't even blame you, no one could; even if you were the most selfish person in the world, - which you weren't, because after all the shit he'd done, he'd committed himself to worship the ground you stepped on - he knew it was understandable and expectable too. But that old broken heart was overflowing with love for you and your son, it just kept the fire of hope alive, so when you'd been nothing but clear when you stated you wouldn't get marry nor have kids, he got upset. Not only that, he felt quite rejected. Perhaps it was a product of the tension he went through with your ex earlier that day, he had hated Frankie since day one, even before finding the dirt on him, he just couldn't have sympathy for anyone who had the woman he loved; if it were up to him, he would've kicked his ass and told him to fuck off, but he couldn't do that in the middle of his son's birthday party, not when toddlers ran around and the adults enjoyed good food and drink. And then that little monster Frankie called a daughter bit his boy and Jack felt angry. He was actually pissed. Yeah, she was a child - a very spoiled, whiny and annoying one - and he knew that often happened, but he'd always hated biters, his little sister was a biter and he learned from a young age to hate this kind. There was also the fact he was actually being able to take part in his son's birthday for the first time and the need of making everything perfect and memorable for Wyatt was a bit nerve wracking, not that he would admit it, but Jack Daniels didn't lose sleep before a mission, but he did lose sleep before a four-year-old party because he wasn't sure if the inflatables and the trampolines were good enough.

At that point, Jack was just tired, too many people around his home, making too much noise and whereas his son was having the time of his life, Whiskey preferred the moments he'd spent with only you and him, where Wyatt played with his pony and you were both quiet and affectionate. However, each time Wyatt's laugh was heard all over the place, the cowboy couldn't hold back his unconscious smile, he never knew how the happiness of a child could make him feel young and good again. Like the bad, rough path in his life had never existed. When he left the willow tree with you and your son, Whiskey was silent, not getting closer, he felt the sting of rejection and even if he knew it wasn't fair and that you had all the right to want different things in life, he still pouted and put his cowboy hat on, following you down the party.

He kept his distance once everyone sang Wyatt happy birthday, he could feel the same tension you did, the way you stood all stiff next to your son, occasionally smiling at everything and everybody but avoiding his gaze, it made his heart clench, he didn't really know what else to do. He didn't want to lose you, but it seemed at times that no matter what he did, if he showered you with love or affection, he still managed to scare you off. He closed his eyes and sighed, another flash by the cameras that photographed the moment he stood next to his family. Normally Jack wouldn't be in so many pictures, but he always made exceptions for you and now your son too. The cowboy was so caught up in his feelings, he only noticed how close you were the moment you wrapped your arms around him, closing the distance between the two of you and Wyatt stood on a chair, to be at your height so you could have a beautiful picture to watch in the future. He looked at you slightly surprised, not expecting a physical touch from you, even if the warmth was so soothing and familiar, he didn't expect to have your body glued tight to his. It was some kind of hypnosis, being away from you for so long, whenever he was able to touch you, it simply didn't feel real at all. He still couldn't ignore how upset he was, but when he looked into your eyes and saw your smile, he went soft. Posing for another picture wanting that moment to be eternalized.

•••

"Cake?" You offered Jack a small plate, joining him at one of the many tables that were set through the backyard. One by one, the guests began taking off after the cake was cut and served, the party naturally coming to an end after hours of fun and adventure for the kids as well as their parents who drank, ate and danced, because if there was something Jack Daniels was good at, it was definitely throwing a ranch party. Wyatt baffled the two of you, still having the energy to bounce from inflatable to inflatable, trampoline from trampoline, so excited he completely forgot about the pile of presents exclusively for him. You were exhausted and you could tell the cowboy was just the same, taking the cake from your hand with a small thank you as he began nibbling at it.

He was upset, you could tell, because his aviators were back on, covering his eyes and even if they weren't uncovered you just knew they wouldn't carry that traditional spark. His shit-eating grin was replaced by his serious expression and you just felt so frustrated with that man. Instead of having your lips on those tempting lips of his, you had to go through that whole awkward situation with him. Why couldn't things be a lot more simple? Why couldn't you just enjoy each other's company, without making things complicated?

He didn't say anything at first, just watching as Wyatt ran from one place to the other, enjoying the toys a lot more now that he didn't actually need to share them with the other kids.

"Why don't you wanna marry me?" Jack broke the silence, not looking directly at you, he looked down instead, eager and also scared to hear your answer.

"Instead of asking me this, why don't you answer my question, Jack?! Why do you wanna marry me so bad?"

You caught that cowboy by surprise, out of all the answers in the world, the ones he could have possibly heard, that was something he didn't expect.

"I-I…" he started but bit his lips, taking his glasses off and looking at you "it doesn't feel real to me that you want to give our family a chance, the feeling I have is that one day you'll wake up and get back to your senses, that you'll remember I'm not good and shouldn't be forgiven, so I fear you will walk away from me. I figured that if we get married, not only would it assure me that wouldn't happen, but we could also pick up from where we left off" that making perfect sense in his mind.

"So you just want to trap me?"

"Sugar, don't look at things that way… I mean yeah, getting married would be a way of making sure you don't regret giving me a chance, but I would also like to continue from where we left off…"

"We will never continue from where we left off, Jack… listen, Wyatt just turned four, which means we're talking about nearly five years in the past; there's been too much between us, a horrible, traumatic, violent, break up. There was a pregnancy, also traumatic, because it was scary, painful, stressful, there was a child birth, countless nights of staying up and taking care of a baby I wasn't even sure how to do so, I'm not holding it against you, but there's no turning back, Jack. You will never be able to make up for this all because it's long gone, and I can see you want to prove yourself, have a chance so you can show me now you can handle taking care of a baby, but I'm not gonna be part of your experiment"

"I just thought we could be a family, a real, big family, I know the three of us are already one, but I wanted to have another baby, I wanted to make you my wife, have you wear a big fancy ring around your beautiful finger and go to bed and wake up every single day for the rest of my life next to you. I'm not saying that what we have now, how we are getting along and finally breaking the barrier that was keeping us apart isn't good, but I wanted more… I wanted to know for a fact one day you won't just wake up and walk away from me, sugar"

And that was exactly the kind of assurance you couldn't offer him. Yes, you were willing to be with Jack, as a couple maybe, as lovers definitely because you simply couldn't get your hands off your cowboy, but were you 100% certain you wanted to have him for the rest of your life? You didn't know.

"It seems like we want different things in life Jack… you pressure me when you talk about this, about the future, when you talk about having babies as if the whole experience with Wyatt hadn't happened"

"And you hurt me when you just discard our future without a second thought, sugar" he looked down, placing the plate on the table and sighing, getting up and taking his leather jacket off, placing it on your shoulder, surprising you at the soft touch, only then realizing you were actually shivering at the cool wind. The cowboy excused himself and walked inside.

•••

Whiskey had got inside his home, pouring himself a glass of the hardest Statesman liquor he could find and got into his bathtub. He let out a loud groan, his sore muscles finally relaxing under the warm water, but unfortunately to him, not all the relaxation in the world could soothe his heart. He wasn't even sure what that all meant. Were you and him still trying? Broken up? He didn't know and he was afraid to ask, perhaps it would be better if he left that question mark hanging for a little while. He sank his head under the water so he could be alone with his thoughts.

You called Wyatt, who finally came running to you. He was panting and his skin was sticky with sweat from how much he played even if the weather wasn't warm anymore. He smiled and gave you a big hug, snuggling you and letting out a yawn, he had never been happier, though he frowned not seeing his daddy. You explained to your son Jack had had an early night because he was tired. All of you were, but you knew Wyatt still needed a warm bath before bed.

Once your son was clean up, warm and tucked in bed, you felt kind of awkward, not sure if you should lie down or go after Jack. Things had escalated to more than tense once you two opened your hearts and though you wanted to make things right, you didn't know how to. Jack was a stubborn man, and if he had that idea in mind, you knew you wouldn't be able to go against it. However, you were also sure you wouldn't be able to simply go to bed when things were so unsolved, you couldn't say yes to his marriage proposal in one night, but you could at least make sure things were alright - or not - between the two of you.

You exited your bedroom and decided to go to Jack's, so eager to knock on his door you barely noticed him walking towards you, apparently he also had issues he had to address. You stopped just inches from bumping against him, but it didn't stop the cowboy to hold you by the hips. He smiled down at you, but it didn't meet the eyes, and you were sure he was still upset.

"Hey sugar, going somewhere in a rush?" He asked curiously at your nod but since you didn't actually reply to his question, he just cleared his throat

"I was wondering if you'd be okay with me taking Wyatt to the Statesman tomorrow morning? I gotta go there to make some payments for the service some employees did at the party and I was thinking that would be a nice opportunity for him to see his daddy's workplace"

He smirked proudly, imagining how excited Wyatt would be while running around the hallways of Statesman, seeing the cool stuff his daddy worked with. He was sure he would enjoy their time together, but the moment he noticed your sad expression, Jack frowned, concerned about you and what could've happened.

"Jack, can I ask you a question? Are you mad at me? About the fact I don't want more babies or a wedding?"

He sighed and bit his lip, carefully choosing his words, he didn't want to offend you in any way, but he wasn't great at hiding how upset that made him

"I'm not mad, it's your choice… but as I said, it made me upset, I had already made plans for us, sugar. It's nice we're getting along, but I expected more, as you already know… Would you ever marry me? Someday?"

"I-I don't know, Jack" you sighed and looked down, ashamed of your honest response, being sure it would hurt that broken heart even more.

He nodded and looked around, taking a step back from you. He thought of kissing your lips goodnight, but he didn't actually see the point in it.

•••

Jack and Wyatt had left earlier in the morning, your little boy was still very sleepy and cuddly as he first got up, climbing your lap and snuggling you, just like he did it as a small baby, though now time was flying and he was growing more and more each day. You had wrapped your arms around him and played with his soft, growing curls, listening to his calm soft breaths as he fell asleep again. You rested your chin on his head and closed your eyes, happy at the small time you had with him, you missed Wyatt terribly for the past two days, as the two of you were so busy with his party you barely spent time together. Jack walked into the living room, looking good in his clothes, aviators on and his hat in hands, going absolutely silent once he realized his son had fallen asleep.

"Do you want me to leave him here so he can sleep some more?" He suggested it, but you quickly dismissed the idea, you knew how excited Wyatt was to go out with his daddy, he just needed a few minutes to catch up on his sleep.

The cowboy joined you on the couch, his big hand stroking his son's soft curls and watching his sleep features in adoration, his son was absolutely gorgeous, he had taken a lot from you, even if he did have a lot of similarities with his daddy, Jack came to the conclusion he was all you. He smiled at that thought and sighed softly, at the same time Wyatt opened his brown eyes and giggled to see his daddy right there. Neither of you addressed the short, frustrating conversation you had in the hallway the night before, instead you both focused on serving Wyatt breakfast and you helped Jack buckle him up in his Bronco so they could have their boys adventure.

And then you were free to do whatever you wanted. It was definitely a rare moment of your post pregnancy life where you could actually do anything you wanted without having to worry about your son. Even though being a mother meant you would worry about your kid at all times, you trusted Jack knowing he'd keep your son safe. Helen didn't take long to arrive and assured you she would be supervising the cleaning team Jack hired to clean after the party, you could do that without her help, but she was just so kind to you, you thanked her by assuring the woman she could go home right afterwards, no need to cook any meals as you would take care of it.

While you were oddly free, the first thing you decided to do was take a bath. You figured Jack wouldn't mind lending you his tub; you wouldn't make a mess or snoop around his stuff, you just filled the tub, picked your favorite bath bomb and sank your entire body into the water, sounds of relief coming out of your mouth. You couldn't even remember the last time you were able to take such a relaxing bath, at any time you wanted and spending as long as you'd like. Chances were the last time you actually spent some time like that was even before getting pregnant, probably inside Jack's tub as well. You weren't sure if you just closed your eyes and relaxed or if you'd dozed off, but nearly an hour later, you were drying yourself and getting dressed, feeling so good about herself. Looking out the window, you saw that the tables that had crowded the backyard just a day before had gone, the green fields seemed spotless clean, but the inflatables were still there; of course Jack would pay extra to have them for longer so Wyatt would play.

You turned around and picked your riding boots, it was time you paid your beautiful Silver Pony a visit and took her for a ride.

The walk to the stables was fast, you were so used to going in the same direction you were able to just follow it through muscle memory; there was a time you rode horses almost every day, and that didn't necessarily make you good at it, you were decent at best, Jack always made sure to be around and take care of you, though he used to encourage you to try and do it alone, so you would always go with Silver Pony, she wasn't a racing horse, she never sped up and you just loved going out with her. You loved that horse, and she loved you too.

"Hi girl, I missed you" you said excitedly as soon as you eyed her, the horse showing the same excitement to see you, moving her body and motioning her head towards you, so you'd pet her. You chuckled at how sweet your lovely friend was and got the saddle ready, just like the cowboy had taught you to do and in no time you were riding your beloved horse again. Not without attaching your fruit basket to her saddle, an old habit of picking up fresh fruit straight from the trees.

It was a very beautiful day, sunny and warm, and you only cursed under your breath for forgetting the beautiful hat Jack had gifted you. You smiled at the idea of going horseback riding with your son and your cowboy, it would definitely be a good family date, you decided you'd bring it up later that day.

You saw the fence that indicated the end of Jack's property and since you didn't have schedules or responsibility for the day, you just decided to ride further, as you hadn't been around the neighborhood in so long.

You hadn't taken your phone nor a watch so you had no idea how long you've been riding Silver Pony, you passed by the fruit trees, the neighbors' property and you only realized you'd gone far when you saw the cemetery gate. You swallowed hard, knowing this place without ever being there, you knew how long Jack had spent visiting the grave of his late wife and unborn son. He had the habit of visiting them very often, once a week at least, bringing them flowers and spending some time there, talking to them, as it was the only thing that could give his broken heart some comfort. Then, as the years passed and the pain still lingered there, he continued his ritual, only being able to actually reduce it once he met you, then his visits stopped being weekly, but he still felt the need of seeing them. You respected and understood that, even if it seemed a little too depressing at the time, but then, standing so near and yet so far from their grave, you felt an urge to go and see them. It came out of nowhere, you hadn't even thought of Jack's late family, they hadn't crossed your mind in days, but at that very moment you decided you needed to see her grave. You had never even considered doing so, but you would. Tying Silver Pony to a tree so she could relax under the shadows, you picked some wildflowers you found on the grass, feeling weird to walk inside empty-handed.

You weren't bothered by cemeteries, you didn't see the fuss in visiting them, but you didn't avoid it when you had to, seeing it was a simple place, a lot of green fields and flowers, one could say it was even a beautiful place. You walked around paying attention to the tombstones, wanting to find hers, which didn't take very long. Amongst the other simpler ones, hers stood with fresh flowers and a beautiful but sad sculpture of a cherub angel.

Of course Jack would get his wife nothing but the best. You took a step closer and lowered yourself, placing the wildflowers next to the other ones, a little shy at how simple your last minute tribute was, but you could feel she was a kind-hearted woman and wouldn't mind it at all.

"Gabriella Daniels

Loving mother and wife.

Gone but not forgotten"

The inscriptions on her tombstone were simple but it brought you a pang of sadness, watching how beautiful she was in the picture, she should be around Jack's age by then, and yet, she looked younger than you currently were. You'd been her age, but she would never live up to turn your age. It was sad and tragic, even if the date of her passing was more than two decades, it still felt so brutal to know a love was killed at such young stage, under such a painful way. She should've been able to celebrate anniversaries, give birth, watch her baby grow up next to her husband, and yet, it was all taken away from her. From him. From them.

Poor Gabriella was doomed to become forever young in a broken man's heart and mind, turned into memories and dust, while her young husband was doomed to becoming a lonely, brokenhearted man.

You spotted another plaque smaller, but right next to hers, and it shattered your heart.

"Jack Daniels Junior

An angel sent back to heaven"

Perhaps it was because you were now a mother and you witnessed the intense love a mother felt for her son, or just because you knew Jack Daniels and you witnessed the intense love a grieving father felt for his unborn son. But you let out a small sob, the tears insistently falling from your cheeks, as you watched those two tombstones. It might've been the proximity you had with the story, without even knowing them personally, but you were nonetheless affected by it.

However, it was still a distant tragedy, like the ones you often hear about and felt upset for a while, but then you move on, but standing there, in front of their graves, you could feel how real and intense it truly was. You could only think of Jack and the gruesome pain he felt, how your own chest tightened just at the mere thought of going through something similar, about losing him and your son.

It clicked, it all made sense to why he was so desperate about assurance, about a true indicator that he wouldn't lose you or Wyatt, that happiness wouldn't run away from him, escaping through his fingers like sand. Would it be so bad to actually give him a chance? An assurance? He wasn't the monster you had unconsciously built in your nightmares, yes, there was a part of him that was that monster for a while, when he broke your heart and pushed you away, but he had got back on his tracks. You sighed, shaking your head and trying to make a sense out of your thoughts. It was all so confusing and yet, you were so sure, at the undoubtedly uncertainty of life, at the proof nothing really lasted forever and at the realization that if you had a chance to be happy today, you shouldn't waste it thinking of the future that might have not even come,you felt sure of it, of it all.

You sat on the grass more comfortably and wiped your tears softly

"H-hi… I'm sorry, it's a little weird for me to do that… but I know Jack does it and it helps him. I guess you know me and I know you too, Gabriella. I'm very sorry for what happened to you and your beautiful baby boy, your absence was so painful to Jack but we both know he's strong and well, you and your baby Jack will always have a place in his heart. Our cowboy has done some shitty things, to me, and to our son, but he's found his way back to being his old sweet self… he's still a little corny and clueless, but that's part of his charm right?" You chuckled softly "thank you for being so good to him, but now I'll take care of our cowboy…"

You dried your tears and smiled more at yourself as you felt so light, so peaceful at the end of your… conversation.

You rushed to Silver Pony, caressing her head before hopping on your girl again. She took you home at a slow pace, giving you enough time to stop at the peach tree path, so you could pick some of them and take it home. You would make a peach pie for your cowboy, knowing he loved eating it with some vanilla ice cream just like his grandma had taught him to. Just by knowing how excited he would get, it made you happy and eager to get the sweet treat started. You could tell yourself you were just excited to see Jack's reaction at the fact he would enjoy his favorite childhood recipe, but in fact your heart was tightening to see your cowboy, you needed to see him, touch him, talk to him and enjoy the fact the two of you were there alive and well, healthy and happy, with a beautiful son and a bright future ahead.

Once Silver Pony finally reached the gates to Jack's property, you could see the Bronco parked and Wyatt rushing to you, running as fast as his little legs could take him, you got off the horse and placed the basket down, opening your arms to welcome him, embracing your son into a tight hug. You were so lucky to have your son so alive and well, snuggling Wyatt and letting him giggle and tell you all about the awesome day he spent next to his daddy. You nodded and stroked his curls, letting him speak for as long as he wanted, but eventually, he blushed and looked down in shame

"Mommy we have a pwoblem… daddy bought McDonald's fow lunch and he bought nuggies fow you, but I ate them" he said a little ashamed of eating everything and not letting one single nugget left for you. You bit your lips so you wouldn't burst out laughing at how funny and cute that was. Ruffing your hair, you let your son know it was alright.

Then you picked up your basket and rushed to Jack, who gave you a shy smile, not having enough time to say anything at all, as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.

Whiskey didn't expect it, but as soon as your lips touched, he unconsciously glued your bodies together, not resisting you, there, so close to him. His hand gripping you at the same time you could see his confused expression, but you just shrugged.

"The answer is yes"

"What?"

"You know what question I'm talking about, cowboy, the answer is yes" you winked at him and caressed his smooth cheek.

Before Jack could add anything else, you grabbed his hat, placing it on your head and smirked

"Cowboy hat rule, Mr.Daniels"

____

A/N: I really hope you enjoy it besties, you are the whole reason why this cowboy gets so much love 🥺❤️

[cxtherine]

spencer reid x fem! reader - all too well chapter II- i love you, i'm sorry

a/n: i literally had to rewrite all of this, so i'm weeks behind where i wanted to be because my laptop deleted this, and the next 2 chapters so i'm sorry it's so late

tw: bodily harm, gore, unrequited love etc.character death, train crashes.

when the train doors slam behind me, i know it's too late. i should've probably thought it through more than i did- but at least the slam was satisfying enough, bags in one hand with my favourite things. i've left everything i've ever known behind. 8-year-old me would've been upset, but now i'm sort of numb, like the way you just get used to cold ice cream on a hot day.

the sky, though, is gorgeous. perfect ambers and pinks, sinking down with the sun. if i could, i'd paint it.

the train is almost empty, and i sit down by myself, in one of the seats with a table so i can put my bags underneath, and my phone and water on the table. the scenery that's starting to flash by outside the huge window is stunning, and it's perfect for me to reminisce on everything that led up to my somewhat-running-away to start a new life, to get away from who i'd become.

when i was a little girl, people used to tell me i should be a lawyer. it was their own, politely masked way of saying i was rude, outspoken. i'd hated my loudness, and knew it wouldn't do me any favours. in the end, i suppose it did.

i met my ex-boyfreind, spencer reid, because i was shouting at a man on the train for my first day at work. he'd touched me inappropriately, and in my disgust, stress, and evident anger i'd yelled in his face. it was then that spencer stepped in, the doe-like brown eyes i'll never forget flickering with concern, and then disgust as they landed on the man i'd been confronting. his hand slid into mine, and it was clammy but somehow, for a stranger, oddly comforting. it was half-an-hour of awkward, polite conversation with spencer after he'd intervened, that made me realise he was going to be one of my new colleages.

it was half a week after that that he became my best freind. we'd done everything together- dr who conventions, nerdy as it seems- and we sat together on every flight to and from cases for work, and just enjoyed the freindship we had. he taught me chess, which i was awful at, and then every card game under the sun. it was a surprise, really, when it became my three year anniversary of working with him, and three years of him being my closest freind and supporter.

more unsurprisingly, we fell in love. it was just perfect, like the movies i would've watched as a teenager on my parent's old TV. coffee shop dates, pinkies interlinked, winter walks. kisses at work, kisses at home and under that big old oak in the town center. in short, everything was just as i'd hoped for all my life. i had a job which made a difference, and a boyfreind who was as kind as he was handsome. i met his mom, and he met mine- diana and i formed a bond, over laughing at his childhood pictures.

maybe i was naive to expect it to stay that way.

it'd been 4 months, of perfect, pure love. we sat on the bench, beneath the oak tree where we'd first kissed, where we'd talked about children and marriage and..other things. every 'thing' we could possibly think of. i hadn't really planned it, spencer'd always been more organised than me, but when i told him i loved him, i wished he'd said it back.

i knew, and still do, what spencer's been through. love has let him down, over and over, but i really thought that we were the greatest thing in each other's lives. 'i'm sorry' isn't exactly a typical response to your girlfreind saying she loves you.

the angry, disappointed little girl who just wanted love had taken over. we'd fought, of course, like any couple does,but it was worse. so much was said. too much, so much that i cried and yelled until my eyes and throat felt scarlet and he just.. blinked those big doe eyes,like i was being irrational, like i was the problem, and left.

left,like both of us had promised we never would. i ran, and i ran faster than i ever have. booked a train ticket, sold my flat. bought another one, upstate and hours away. resigned from the BAU, found another job as easily as that can happen.

i'm going to hate my new job. i know that already. tucked into my train seat, i sigh. the train is finally out of Quantico, and i feel the tenseness that has slipped through the cracks in my heart and into my bones slowly, slowly leaking away. i never really believed in heartbreak. maybe soul-break is the better term, because there's no part of me that doesn't feel utterly destroyed.

the train jolts, and the sip i'd been taking of my water splashes down my front. confused, i rise to my feet. a few minutes later, we're still stuck. i just want to leave. i follow the carriages to the engine-room, irritated. why can't anyone just help me escape? i hate it here.

there's a body, and it makes me jump. slumped on his side, blood pooling down his chest. the profiler in me knows it's been an efficient kill, by someone impatient and well-trained. a perfect slit through the carotid, and then, when i turn him over, fingers trembling, the human in me makes me gag.

his stomach is cut, wide and deep and enough to expose his stomach. suddenly, everything is too bright, too much. i can't even profile what the hell's going on, because there's a honking in my ears, loud and deep and irritating. i straighten up, and look out of the train window.

there's another train, coming right towards this one. i realise there's nothing i can do at the same time that i realise i'm going to die, and then there's the crash, and everything vanishes.

[raelle-writing]

Hey 👋

What do you think about tee's character?! This character is so confusing he cares for white a lot and protects him but he did worse things to non. We know he also needed money for his father. What do you think about him and how white and tee met and fell in love. Tee only listens to white and also what you think about white ? Is he only related to the group because he's tee's boyfriend. Tbh I'm loving their couple,their chemistry is so good. 🫠

Thank you so much for this question!!! I actually find Tee's character entirely fascinating tbh - he's a bully but he shows these moments of complete and utter humanity that I find really sympathetic and compelling.

Like I'll never justify what he does to Non - framing him for breaking the camera and then using that debt that he manufactured to pull Non into money laundering isn't exactly excusable. But I find it so interesting that while we see Tee doing all of these insane things, we also see these little moment of humanity throughout. Like when it's made clear that Tee is mostly working with his shady uncle to help get money for his dad - we don't know what kind of medical treatment his dad is undergoing, but clearly something severe that costs a lot to treat.

Tee is in arguably just as desperate a position as Non (if not more desperate). He's stuck needing money, dragged into illegal activity by his uncle, in too deep to get out. Does that excuse him being a manipulative bully? Of course not. But it's fascinating to me because it would've been SO easy to make Tee a non-sympathetic character, and yet we see all of this depth to him.

We're also shown that he didn't want to get any of his friends involved in the money laundering, including Non. He knew it was bad and illegal, and he didn't do it until he was completely and utterly backed into a corner, until he'd exhausted literally every other alternative and his uncle gave him an ultimatum.

Which is interesting because you think he wouldn't hesitate to pull in Non even before that, since he doesn't like Non. But he does hesitate. It shows that he has some ethics, and some sense that what he's doing has the potential to ruin whoever is involved. And he doesn't want to ruin Non, despite disliking him and picking on him at school.

Of course, he reverses this action by proceeding to get Non involved. And then, when Non goes to get the rest of their friend group involved, he backs Non up. But not because he's greedy, but because his uncle is shorting him left and right and he still doesn't have the money for his father's medication OR to pay Non.

Tee's position is parallel to Non's. He needs the money. He's into illegal shit he doesn't want to be in, but is forced in deeper every day by the people pulling the strings. And he, like Non, is just a kid. He shouldn't have to be discussing money laundering with his uncle at 17 years old to help pay for his father's medical bills.

And even though Tee continues being a dick to Non throughout the past (even going so far as to help his uncle make Non disappear), he shows hesitance at every turn when his uncle demands things of him, and he tries (weakly) to defend Non when his uncle starts saying Non is a police spy.

And after he brings Non to his uncle and Non "disappears," Tee can't stop himself from asking what happened to Non. Tee doesn't even like Non, and yet he still shows clear signs of fear and upset at the thought that Non might be dead. Because he knows he'd be complicit? Maybe. But he's also a teenage kid caught up in illegal things against his will. He might genuinely feel bad about it. His expression certainly conveys more than just guilt...

Does any of this balance out the bad things he does throughout the past? Of course not. He's still a shitty person and should be in jail for the part he played in Non's disappearance. But he's also fascinatingly sympathetic in the way he's forced into all of these actions. He clearly doesn't want to be doing any of the things he's done, but feels as though he has no choice. Either because his uncle will hang him out to dry for the police, or because he still needs the money for his father's treatment.

That said, I don't find Tee's treatment of White in the present dissonant to his character in the slightest. To me, it's clear that Tee is the type of person who cares deeply about those close to him, he just doesn't let a lot of people get close because he's experienced far too much pain and manipulation at the hands of his family. Tee is soft with White, but more than that, he's devastated when he learns that Por has died.

Tee cares. He cares a lot. He cares about White, he cares about Por. He arguably cares more about himself since he often abandons White during stressful situations, and is more concerned about what White will think of what they did to Non than he is about what he actually did to Non. But I think that he knows he had no choice (or at least, in his eyes he had no choice) in what happened to Non.

Anyway, this got long ahahaha I just find Tee's characterization to be so interestingly done. He's one of the most deeply complex characters in the entire show, and shout out to JJay for conveying all of his complexities so well, he's an amazing actor.

As for White... well. White is still a question mark for me personally. I wrote a theory previously that White could be Non's brother New, and I still think that's a possibility. I've also seen a wild theory floating around that White is actually Non himself, he's just gotten plastic surgery.

It's possible that White is exactly what he appears to be, a mostly-innocent bystander. Especially since White defends Tee when the others talk about thinking Tee did something bad to Non, and shows clear horror when Tee talks about burning Dang's corpse.

I'm not sure exactly how Tee and White met, but I think they're pretty compatible. White wants someone to take care of him, and Tee likes having someone look up to him. Tee also has a lot of love and care to show, he just doesn't/can't do it easily because of his history.

Because I find Tee sympathetic, I kind of hope that White isn't using Tee as part of the revenge plan (though I know a lot of people want that) because I find the idea of the one person Tee has opened up to turning around to betray him that way completely heartbreaking. But I also know that within the narrative, Tee is the villain. He's the main catalyst to everything bad that happened to Non, so it wouldn't surprise me if the story has set up exactly some twist like that happening to him for revenge. We'll have to see where the story takes us but personally, I think they're cute together right now!

[primreaperstuff]

I just had a thought: Everybody seems to be assuming that the Society of the Blind Eye (SBE) Dippers and Mabels in the Book of Bill were created during that summer. But what if they actually were what happened had Dipper taken that internship with Ford? I got the idea because the guys in the hoods look a good deal taller than the other Dippers and Mabels. I mean, it could just be the perspective, but I thought they looked like they might've gotten the chance to grow a bit more than the others. If you assume Left Hood is Mabel, (based off of their nose possibly being the same color as the rest of their face), it's also possible that she's lasted long enough in one timeline to get her braces off.

Alex Hirsch has said that Ford would've made the same mistakes with Dipper that he did with Fiddleford McGucket, so Dipper the Intern would've eventually ended up going insane like McGucket did. And McGucket originally founded the SBE as a direct consequence of Ford's bullshit. (Sorry Ford baby, I do love you-- but you are completely unfit to raise a technically-teenage boy full-time!)

I wouldn't put it past a traumatized older Dipper to figure out how to rebuild the memory gun (or maybe it never got destroyed in the first place?). At first he was just hoping to be able to sleep again but it takes its toll on his mind after awhile and he unwittingly ends up recreating the SBE (perhaps because he doesn't remember it-- or doesn't remember how bad it really was for people). Or alternatively, Ford, having been enabled for years by somebody who either can't or won't tell him no, proposes a truly horrible idea that even Dipper can't go along with. Dipper resorts to trying to wipe Ford's memory of the idea to ensure he never acts on it, but it fails and permanently ruins the relationship. Dipper is ashamed, alone, and afraid, so he uses the gun on himself so those bad memories of failure don't stop him from stopping Ford. It snowballs into repeated uses of the gun (turns out that forgetting what you're afraid of means forgetting why you don't use the gun more often!) until the poor guy can't bring himself to do anything in public without it. Dipper has enough perfectionist tendencies that, if something caused him to go off the rails, I could see him constantly using the memory gun to redo his interactions with people until they go exactly the way he's decided they're supposed to.

The dark path for Mabel would be worse in some ways. Imagine that this is a world where Mabel encouraged Dipper to take the internship instead of getting upset about it. Maybe she even unwittingly pressured him into accepting it when he was going to turn it down, because she thought it would be awesome for him, only to get hit with the horrible reality when the next summer rolls around and he's obviously Not Okay. She feels partially responsible and wishes he never had to experience any of the terrible stuff he alludes to, and that leads her to remaking/refinding the memory gun as the next best thing to making the bad things unhappen. Of course Ford figures out what she's done quickly, so she tried to use it on him to make him forget that internships and memory guns exist. It doesn't work and they get into a big nasty fight. Later Soos pops in to ask how things are going after some horrible event that Dipper no longer remembers, causing Dipper to regain his memory of the incident, so Mabel uses the gun on Soos and Dipper. Ford is angry, so Mabel bolts and hides from him, using the gun to prevent other people from reporting her whereabouts to him (and later McGucket, because you can bet Ford told him all about this).

It all spirals from there-- the key being that Mabel never uses the gun on herself because she's fully aware of how bad it is for people. She knows the SBE was bad, but reasons that it was bad because it was lead astray by the selfishness of people like Bud Gleeful rather than the fact that it existed to control people and dodge taking responsibility for anything. She self-rationalizes that PTSD and people actively seeking out monsters would be worse than the effects of the gun. Later she adds the rationalization that she's done it so often that there's no point in stopping because it would only mean that her targets would have to deal with both their trauma and the bad effects of the gun.

Either way, Gravity Falls ends up becoming like Lovecraft town where it's all nice-looking and stuff but you don't linger, go off the beaten path, or ask questions, lest you end up getting stuck there permanently like the Pines family. Just deliver the packages and go the fuck home before the sun comes down.

(Fuck, I forgot about the metal plate in Ford's head. Edited to account for that.)

[riddlerosehearts]

there's so many things i love about the twst anthology manga. it's honestly more fun to me as a fan of the game than the regular manga is, because as much as i love seeing how they adapt the scenes from the game and the little things they add (like getting to see baby riddle, trey, and chenya hanging out 🥺), the anthology is essentially like... extra vignettes, in manga form. some chapters are expansions of the vignettes from the game, but most of it is totally new, and sometimes it provides really neat bits of character exploration?

like, in one of my favorite chapters from the first volume. actually, i'm mainly only posting this as an excuse to talk about this chapter, "a blessing on our unbirthday":

in that chapter, riddle has been so worried about trying not to crack down as hard on rule violations that he ends up exhausted because he lost sleep over it! he says he's worried that that tendency of his might be ingrained in him for good, and it just breaks my heart thinking about how he so deeply wants to break the cycle and shed the excessive strictness and perfectionism that his mother instilled in him, but it's so hard. it's hard to have your worldview challenged so suddenly, to realize overnight that you've been doing things so wrong for such a long time and that all you can do now is try your best to change and improve. it's hard to know that you've hurt people when you never meant to, when you genuinely thought what you were doing was right. it must be especially hard when you're just a teenager who was doing what your parents have been teaching you to do since you were a small child. of course riddle is losing sleep.

but while he's walking through the hallway, thinking about how exhausted he is and how worried he still is, ace shows up. they banter a bit, but then ace very quickly realizes that riddle isn't feeling well and picks up on the fact that he's pushing himself too hard. he tells riddle to slow down and relax, and hilariously tries to manipulate him into deciding to hold an unbirthday party by going on about how maybe they should just have one without him and break a ton of rules while he's not there.

this makes riddle angry, of course, and results in him mentally beating himself up for almost losing his temper. :( but what ace is trying to do works! riddle instinctively gets riled up at his words, angrily reprimands him a bit, and nearly uses his unique magic on him... but ace cuts him off mid-sentence, which throws him off so that he doesn't use it. and then, in his inner thoughts, while he is panicking and sweating and getting upset with himself, he's also managed to stop before he made a big mistake, and now has a chance to reflect and acknowledge that mistake. he knows that it would've been irrational and wrong of him to collar ace just for saying that he might break a few rules.

and all of that is already really important and shows a lot of growth on his part! but then ace responds by telling him he's being too hard on himself and that it's okay to take small steps instead of trying to completely change right away, and riddle is instantly relieved and settles on trying to make everything perfect for the party. before, when ace first proposed the idea, he'd seemed uninterested and like he didn't realize just how badly he needed to take his mind off things. but this time he listens, and understands that ace just might be right, and the story ends on a very fun and sweet note.

and it's just so good. riddle has such great dynamics with each of his dormmates, and i love seeing how his relationship with ace has grown. i really hate when people get mad at ace for demanding a tart and a party at the end of book 1, because riddle treated ace in particular horribly and needed to be held accountable for it. he really could've asked for far more from riddle or still not forgiven him considering that riddle, like, actually could have killed him while overblotted. and i also really hate when people characterize riddle as still being constantly angry after book 1, and/or don't acknowledge everything he did at the end of book 1 to try and apologize for his actions and make an effort to change. he's one of the only overblotters to actually verbally apologize, and i should also add that he did what ace asked of him without question... and had a good time with it, because he likes tarts and parties! i think it's notable how at the end of book 1, riddle had literally just expressed that he had wanted to eat the tart ace made for him and hang out with his friends, so ace basically asked him to do exactly that along with having to do the hard work that would be involved in it.

and now, they're genuine friends. they've allowed themselves to start over with a clean slate, and in this anthology chapter we see that ace can comfort riddle and have fun with him without holding the past against him, and once again is helping him out of a rough spot by convincing him to have a party. i just love it, i love what this chapter says about riddle and what it says about him and ace. i really hope we get a third volume of the anthology someday, with group art of the third years on it since the first two volumes have the first and second years on them:

and i hope they get officially released in english someday too because i would really love to be able to own them.