#I would’ve linked them but tumblr’s being mean

[artfartt]

Transparent ver. Under the undercut

[mayb4nk]

jj fingering you faster when you say you’re not about to cum :((

(uhmm i got carried away…oops!)

idea inspired by this (that is a p!link don’t open in public lmao)

warnings; NSFW MDNI 18+, p in v, unprotected sex (NOOO), pussy slapping, thigh and ass slapping but only like once, squirting, creampie, praise kink if you squint, this is filthy, jj says mama multiple times, thats abt it i think bbys :)

pink: jj

purple: reader

red/other: my thoughts and apologies (only happens once lmao)

he has you laid on your back, on his bed. your legs are spread and his fingers are so deep inside of you. you can hear the wet sounds of your cunt fill the room, along with your moans and whimpers. he smirks as he sees the pathetic look on your face, he leans down to speak to you, “you gonna cum, mama?” he says with a smirk as his fingers fingers continue their slow, agonizing pace in and out of your cunt, with his thumb circling your puffy clit.

upon hearing these words, you shake your head, voice trembling. “no…” you say, wanting to last longer but you know you’re about to cum. jjs smirk widens as he speeds up his fingers, them plunging in and out of you with ease due to you being so, fucking, wet.

“no, baby? you’re not?” he says, with a condescendingly sweet tone of voice as he hears your shaky voice. his fingers increase speed as they scissor through your aching cunt.

you cry out as you feel him speed up. "jj! fuck, baby!" you whine as he speeds up. your core throbs as you look down at him and see a shit eating grin on his face.

at the sensation, you involuntarily close your legs around his hands. we can’t have that, now can we? he tsks before pulling out of you completely, spreading your legs and pinning them to the bed. he pulls off of your legs and sends a sharp slap against your sensitive clit, causing you to scream.

“don’t hide from me, baby. you know better than that.” he says sternly before sliding down the bed and pressing his hot tongue against your pussy. the sensation of his tongue, spit, and your throbbing, aching clit colliding causes you to arch your back and send your hand down to grip his long, blonde hair.

the taste of your arousal and the feel of your hands in his hair causes him to moan, sending millions of little vibrations to your pussy. you shriek at the feeling and begin rocking and grinding your hips against his tongue, taking what you want.

you swear you can feel him smile against you as his right hand comes up to rub on your inner thigh before pressing a sharp, mean slap to it. you yell and your legs twitch at the pain, he then brings his hand back to softly rub over the red mark now forming on your thigh, soothing the pain.

he takes his fingers back down to your pussy to press into your entrance, causing you to let out a pornographic moan as you feel the familiar intrusion. he begins moving his tongue faster against you, licking, sucking, and nipping at your clit as his fingers fuck you at a ruthless pace.

“fuck, jj! im close, baby.. m’so close..” you whine as your pussy clenches around his fingers, causing him to groan against your pussy. he smirks against your pussy as he keeps the same fast, orgasmic pace. the pace that he knows you love, the pace that causes you to clench around his fingers and moan louder than ever.

he mumbles some words into your pussy that cause you to tremble and whimper at the vibrations. “c’mon, pretty mama. give it to me.” he coos as his hips begin rutting into the mattress, trying to find his own relief.

“i’m cumming, jj~!” you moan as your eyes roll back into your head and your legs shake. he pulls away from you completely, letting you come down on your own. and thank god he does, or else he would’ve missed the absolute fucking show you’re putting on for him right now.

he watches you moan, writhe, and squirm against the mattress as clear liquid spurts from your pussy. he looks at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes along with a smirk before speaking up,

“look at you, baby!” he teases as he sees the embarrassment on your face.

you lay there, spent, and sweaty. he looks at your form on the bed before slowly undoing his belt. you hear this and groan sleepily as you look at him and start to protest, but he stops you.

“shh, baby. let me do all the work. let me take care of you.” he says softly as he takes his shirt off, his body completely bare as he looks at you with a soft look, silently asking for permission.

once he sees you nod softly, he moves next to you, putting you in a spooning position as he holds your leg up, providing enough space to slip his fat cock in between your folds.

you moan as you feel his cock run between your folds, teasing you. you gasp out as you let out a breathy plea. “please, jj..”

he kisses the back of your neck before slipping his cock into you slowly, whimpering in your ear as he feels your wet, warm, and soft pussy clench around him. he stills his hips giving you a minute to adjust. but once you give him that signal that he can move, he’s not stopping. he slowly pulls himself from you before snapping his hips into yours, causing you to scream.

he moans as he speeds his hips, the sound of skin slapping against itself fills the room, along with both of you guys’ moans and whimpers. he brings his hand to wrap around your front, rubbing your clit in circles that are perfectly timed with his thrusts.

“you’re so fucking perfect, you know that, baby?” he praises in your ear as his hips slam into yours. you can’t answer due to your brain completely shutting down because jjs just fucking you so good you just go cock dumb :(. slobber dribbles down your chin as you begin incoherently babbling. (gross!)

“oh, my poor girl, huh?” he purrs as he feels your pussy clench around him, signaling that you were close. he kisses your shoulder before turning you on your tummy, his knees resting beside your legs as he pushes your head into the pillow.

“can’t even speak because this cock is so good, huh?” he chuckles darkly as his other hand comes to grip your hips, almost leaving bruises.

you manage to let out a strangled “m-mhm..!” as his long, thick cock slides in and out of you. you feel his hand slap your ass as his other hand that was pressed on your head, comes to press onto your back, forcing your chest into the bed.

“i- jj..! so good…” you mumble as you manage to turn your head to look at him. he coos as he looks at you.

“i know, baby.. i know.” he coos before starting again, “but you can take it, yeah?” he groans as his thrusts get sloppier and he notices your moans getting louder, letting him know you were close.

“cum on my cock, baby.” he moans as he brings both hands to grip your hips, thrusting faster into you as you feel his heavy balls hitting your clit.

you moan loudly into the pillow as your pussy spasms around his cock. he moans when he sees the white ring around the base of his cock as he thrusts into you.

“i’m gonna cum, baby..” he says before letting his cum fill you, his moans shaky and his hips stuttering inside of you, causing you to whimper.

he pulls out of you and flip you to your back, forcing you to look at him. “you did so good, baby.. m’so proud of you.” he says as he presses a chaste kiss to your lips before laying his head on your chest.

“i love you.”

sorry this would’ve been better if i didn’t have to rewrite it THREE TIMES. FUCK U TUMBLR GRRR.

tags: @maybanksprincess (wrote a special part in here for u mama 😼)

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

Holy shit, y’all are insane. My tag list is over a HUNDRED (wtf y’all I’m kissing every single one of you on the forehead it was EIGHT before this) and the first part got over 800 notes in 24 hours. I love y’all 😂 With that being said though, Tumblr only allows for 50 mentions per post. So I’m drafting another post with the other 50-odd mentions that I’ll link this to. Unfortunately I’m not willing to make more than two posts, meaning my tag list is officially CLOSED. I’m so sorry, y’all, please know I love every single one of you SO much!! If you’d like to follow along and didn’t make it onto the taglist, go ahead and follow the ‘#if I should stay’ tag. I’ll make sure to use this tag for every update! Thank you all SO SO MUCH!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ and if you want to be dropped from the taglist, that’s fine too; just let me know! ❤️

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Steve is terrified.

Honestly, after the Russians and the Upside Down and everything else, Steve thought he’d never be scared again.

Then he woke up in school in 1984.

He looks around, wide-eyed, only to stop when Tommy and Carol look at him weirdly. “Uh, Steve?” Carol asks. “You look like you’re about to puke.”

Full of tact, just like always. He shakes off the feeling of wrong crawling on his skin and smiles at her. “I’m fine,” he says, when nothing could be further from the truth.

She opens her mouth to respond. Steve breathes a sigh of relief when the bell goes off, only for him to realize he has no idea where he’s going.

Thank God for Carol, apparently, because she throws her head back with a groan. “Math,” she complains. “I hate math.”

Steve feels a zing of recognition dart through him. He had English while she was in math. They used to complain about it between classes.

He feels excited when he realizes Robin will be in this class, then just as suddenly excitement turns to nausea when he realizes she might not remember him.

He walks into class, trying to keep his hopes down, and briefly makes eye contact with her.

She’s doodling in a notebook, looking around the room. Their eyes meet.

Robin’s pencil lead snaps.

Steve freezes.

He opens his mouth, he’s not sure for what, but she shakes her head slightly.

She stands and makes her way towards him before her eyes flutter back in her head and she drops.

She would’ve fallen on the ground if he hadn’t caught her. Whispers start up, enough to get the teacher to look up. “Mr. Harrington,” she says. “I’m not sure what dance moves you think you’re trying, but I will remind you this is an English classroom.”

“Yes ma’am,” he says. “Um. She passed out. I think I should probably take her to the nurse.”

She leans over her desk to peer first at Steve, then at Robin, who still has her eyes closed. “Very well,” she says. “I’ll give you a hall pass. Please ensure she returns once her little spell has worn off.”

He nods, shifts Robin completely into his arms, and walks out of the classroom.

He walks down the hallway and stops by an empty classroom, darting in when nobody’s looking. “Robs,” he chokes, and her arms are around his neck and now he’s choking for an entirely different reason.

She’s shaking, and he feels hot tears land on his shoulder, and he knows she feels the same from his tears. “I thought-”

“I know,” Steve whispers. “I thought the same. I woke up and I was with Tommy and Carol again and I didn’t know what was going on and I was terrified you weren’t gonna remember me.”

“Jesus,” she says. She’s laughing a little, through her tears. “Imagine how I felt, waking up in Mrs. Click’s class. Thought I’d had a weird fever dream. Then you walked in, and…”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “Jesus, Robs, I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Right back atcha, Dingus,” she whispers, which really just makes his tears start all over again. “Who else do you think knows?”

Steve sighs. “I don’t know. And other than asking them, and risking getting sent to a padded room…”

“Yeah.” Robin sighs.

“Oh, fuck,” Steve says, tensing up.

“What?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m still with Nancy.”

I tried to tag everyone who wanted it… I’m so sorry if I missed you! Once again I’m so sorry about closing the taglist. Thank you for understanding! ❤️

Permanent Taglist: @justforthedead89 @ilovecupcakesandtea @madigoround @bookbinderbitch @suddenlyinlove @nburkhardt @artiststarme @paintsplatteredandimperfect @i-less-than-three-you @alyelf @quarble @messrs-weasley @littlewildflowerkitten @vankaar @starman-jpg @bornonthesavage @steddie-there @goodolefashionedloverboi @andienotannie @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @platinum-sunset @just-ladyme @steddiestains @swimmingbirdrunningrock @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @martinskis-lydias @notaqueenakhaleesi @sleepyboosstuff @bestwifehaver @m-owo-n @thatonebadideapanda @finalmoondragon @velocitytimes2 @callmeanythjing @ajeff855 @ilikeititspretty @knitsforthetrail @sillysparrow @that-one-corvid @ace-is-bored @local-writers-corner @harpymoth @weirdandabsurd42

@paperbackribs @ninjapirateunicorns @bisexualdisastersworld @hiscrimsonangel @lolawonsstuff @xo-r4e @thedragonsaunt @l0st-strawberry

Fic Taglist: @blondlanfear @do-you-want-something-more @little-gae-shit

Me @ all of you:

[singukieee]

—my all time favourite bts fics (pt. 4) ᯓᡣ𐭩

consists of my personal favourite bts fics that I've read countless of times. including those from other platforms, such as Wattpad, AO3, and Patreon.

For some works that are cross-posted between tumblr and wp/ao3, I'd only link them to the latters bcs I find it easier to read and navigate the stories on those. but I also tagged all the authors I know are here and linked the rest so you can check their blogs out yourself!

I'll also separate this list into several parts simply because there's too many... So it'd be easier for you guys to navigate!

red means unfinished

blue means finished

🗯️ editor's note

(sorted by alphabetical order)

Stay by OT7oramI

Y/N and her hybrid best friend, Jin, have known each other since Jin was eight years old and came to live with Y/N and her family. Throughout the years, Y/N and Jin have grown closer but there is one major secret between them. When an injured hybrid comes into Cherry Blossom Sanctuary where they both work, the secret is revealed. What will become of the friendship between Y/N and Jin when others are added to it?

Storms of Fate by SumiSG7

A darkly forbidden Auction in the veils of night catering to the morbid appetites of the wealthy in a world of legalized slave hybrids. Results in A melody of storm uniting the fates of a powerful Heiress with 7 mysteriously seductive & deadly hybrids The dark spiralling descent into the fever of passion & longing entwining their hungers while being targeted by an unknown enemy. What will be the result of the lethal games to Anya & the hybrids caught in a velvety prison of their own cravings for each other. But slowly, the realization trickled in… All was not normal as it should be, the love they forged, was a test of devotion that was still withstanding the time since before time began…

🗯️ too freaking good... but also really dark and sometimes sweet. I don't think I've ever read an ff as well-written as this one. plot's insane too. (this is actually a whole universe with side stories that you would be told to read along the way to understand the lore, so good it's crazy that it's free)

Sweet as Honey by sugakookie98

In a time where omegas are increasingly rare, others constantly question your resistance to find a mate. No one seemed to understand that you were content to stay in your comfort zone, focusing solely on your job. However, a series of unexpected events set your quiet world into motion, making you question your outlook on life and on mating bonds.

🗯️ another Idk what to say but it's really good

The Butterfly Effect by themonsterteddy

Easily attached hybrids get adopted into a family. Lei, the protagonist, is the quietest member of the family. Follow them to explore the lovely bond developing between them.

🗯️ a super warm read <3

The Butterseries by @minniepetals

Their names alone had every men and women turning their heads and falling at their feet. successful, prestigious, handsome, rich, and untouchable to anyone that looked their way. and you? you were just an employee who worked for them. who would’ve known you meant so much more to them than you could ever imagine?

The Byeoljali series by LittleShyGirl

❶ Finding A Place

As an isolated, lonely omega raised by humans, you have little understanding of how other wolves live. When you take a promotion to become a member of the BTS staff, your world collides with the Bangtan Pack and you realise you have a lot to learn.

❷ Making A Home

Now that she's found where she belongs, follow Y/N as she learns how to truly be a part of the Bangtan Pack.

The Companion by MoonChild791

After being fired, the job of a lifetime lands in your lap. You up root your life and moved to Seoul, only to find out you'll be working with your favorite group, BTS. Slowly, you start to develop feelings for them. But that's crazy, right? You can't have feelings for all seven of them, it would never work out.....would it?

The Contract by namjuicyy

Your life is turned upside down when a contract is pushed your way. But what happens if you sign it?

The Last Lycans by RoxNotRocks

Sometimes, a fateful encounter takes the form of a bullet through the head… After years of living as a wolf, alone in the wild, Yu has no memory of her past and no idea what her true nature is. As she attempts to begin anew and discovers that her fate doesn't have to be a lonely one, her lost secret comes back to haunt her. When your past comes back with a vengeance, should you flee, or fight?

The Line Between Love and War by @purpleyoonn

Your experiences told you that soulmates were something you would never have the pleasure of having; something not given to you because of who you are, despite the soulmark that resides on your inner left wrist. During your solo trip to Los Angeles, you find out that you are more than capable, that your soulmates had been waiting for you for a long time, and would not be letting you go anytime soon.

The Little Fox by @purpleyoonn

“The idea of being free was a foreign concept. Being free meant having choices, having opportunities. Being a hybrid meant never being free.” Just as you escaped the Little Fox, a bidding house, you find yourself at war with your thoughts, not wanting to go to another shelter. You didn’t expect yourself to find a home anywhere, especially not with the men who found you, and their pack.

The Pictures That Talk by @imnotlauriane

In a world where everyone has a special ability, mine is giving life to pictures. It allows me to see what happened behind the camera, reliving the moment when it was taken, as the subject. It's something I really cherish, but it can also come with great pain, so it's to be used carefully. I look at my finger, rings of fate black and cold. And I wonder, will I ever meet my soulmates?

The Seven by chewymilkyoda

When a young 17 year old girl and her friend went to an empty mansion that is reported as 'haunted', she never knew that her life would changed when she accidentally woke up 7 dangerous vampires that has been asleep for centuries. And boy is she in for a long-ass ride of fantasy shit that she never even knew about.

The Seven Princes by wassap_its_hunter

Being known as Nyx, you never had an easy life. With the expectations of being the world's best-renowned assassin and hunter, protector of your people, and a babysitter of five children, you can't really expect to have time in your hands to relax, the world being run by werewolves, witches, vampires, mermaids and more. But now, another role has been added. After hearing the princes of the biggest empire in the world, the Asian Kingdom, say the word "mate", you're scared for what is about to come. But then again you're Nyx, one of the very few humans that survived and became known, you could take a challenge like that.

🗯️ mc is so cool and the boys are whipped. my favourite.

The Seven Red Flags of HAKON University by tinyeyecat / emi ree

Born in the hell hole of Space Port 69, Rue’s a human Omega desperate to leave the alien whore house she calls home. Defying all odds, she masquerades as an Alpha and obtains a scholarship to the Ivy League of all space institutions. HAKON University is an all-male school that trains the cream of the crop—future leaders of the galaxies. Rue's just here to graduate, pretend to have a dick and then flee into the workforce, that is until the legendary Bangtan pack sets their eyes on her. They’re the future emperors—aliens with godlike abilities that make them rulers of their species. But with excessive power comes the price of testosterone-fuelled insanity that cannot be soothed. An esper will always need his guide. They’ve been searching for a final member to quell their raging soul-an eighth to complete their pack. Millions have tried for a taste of the peak, but none have succeeded, and thousands die from their power unable to withstand the bond. Bangtan doesn’t chase their prey, they don’t have to, but this time the seven Alphas want Rue.

🗯️ it's emi ree so it's gonna be insane!

The Siren's Song by PurpleQueenie

Modern day Seoul and myths don't go along hand in hand as easily as one might think. When for centuries (Y/N) has been bound to the Ocean, serving her duty as a siren- waiting for the day when it'll finally end, who knew stumbling across seven different souls would've been the reasons she needed to start living again, feeling again- even if it meant losing herself in the process.

🗯️ this might be my ultimate fave among queenie's stories. it's just soo good. mc who became the best version of herself after meeting the boys who support her despite the villain's constant torture. also, mc is just so full of life despite the ... it's amazing, go read it!

Through Her Eyes series by Gigi_Luv_4u

❶ Through Her Eyes

In the world of soulmates, perhaps Daun is the only one who does not expect for any soulmate to come. She doesn't have the soul marks that everyone supposed to have. Not one ink on her skin, no time marks on her wrists, no glowing red strings... but why does one day, seven gorgeous men claims to be her soulmate? And these seven are none other than the greatest boy band in the world?

❷ Through Her Eyes: Eternal

Multiples puffing out to the open has been on the news, but not as often as Daun with her seven. Now, more than ever, people have made their lives more than just a curious entertainment. Snippets of their married lives have become great treasures of inspirations that the entire world would simultaneously coo. No one can't blame them with how adorable they have cultivated their marriage to an inspiring one. Not to mention with the new additional members that surely adds more life to their already dynamic universe. Or… How does a family of Multiples go through their lives?

To Be, Or Not To Be Your Omega by Anonymous

Which would be harder? To be an Omega in an Alpha's world, or to have to play Omega to a pack of Alpha's that's known across the WHOLE world? As if disguising your gender truth isn't hard enough, how many omegas can say they have seven alphas that want to claim them? That went to the trouble of drafting up an overly generous contract just to have you as their omega? Oh, why did they have to find out your truth? Maybe it won't be so bad to be theirs, even if it's only by contract? After all, they're all so handsome, and smell so good, and— Is it wrong to have your inner omega cooing at the idea that this could become more than just your Omega status being taken advantage of like it's been all over the world?

To Be, or Not To Be Your Omega REBOOT by Anonymous

What would you do if you suddenly found yourself playing Omega to not just one, but seven world-renowned Alphas? Your struggle to conceal your true gender pales in comparison to this new challenge. These Alphas want to claim you. They've gone so far as to draft an outrageously generous contract just to have you as their Omega. But as your scent betrays your truth, you're left wondering: why did they have to find out? As you contemplate your fate, you can't help but think – maybe being theirs wouldn't be so bad, even if it's just by contract? After all, they're devastatingly handsome, their scents intoxicating, and... wait, is your inner Omega actually cooing at the idea? You've spent your life seeing Omegas taken advantage of across the world. Could this be different? Could this become more than just another power play? In this story, you'll navigate a world of primal instincts, hidden truths, and unexpected desires. Are you ready to step into the shoes of an Omega on the brink of a life-changing decisions?

Trouvaille by @spookyserenades

Until The Last Star Falls by Lov3Mochi / @minniepetals

In a world where hybrids are both the hottest commodity and largely exploited, a recent shortage of hybrids nationwide due to the wealthy adopting for sport hunting dominates the news headlines. More than ever, stray hybrids are whisked off the streets and taken into shelters to meet the demand. Mistreated, neglected, forgotten – in a notoriously disreputable hybrid shelter in a pocket of downtown Boston, seven “aggressive” hybrids await their inevitable fate of being sold for sport.

After years of trying to distance herself from her mystical past and upbringing, Y/N finds herself quitting her emotionally-draining job and is forced to face past mistakes. While accompanying her friends looking to adopt a child hybrid into their newly-formed family, Y/N inadvertently finds herself face-to-face with seven hybrids doomed to die. In a spur of the moment epiphany, Y/N decides to change the course of fate for the better; though bringing seven aggressive hybrids into her life and the darkening spiritual energy of her old home is trickier to navigate than she originally thought.

🗯️ I really appreciate the length of every chapter. like, so much details put into each and every chapter, and each chapter it just gets better and better.

It was a love you knew would never make it out alive without sacrificing a part of your happiness to receive a greater happiness. but for them, you’d go to any extreme to have them again, and for you, they will always remind you each day that you are theirs and that nothing can tear you apart, not even until the last star falls.

🗯️ so freaking good! a painful journey of love, full of longing and sacrifice.

You Never Walk Alone by @agustdakasuga

You live a quiet life in your late grandfather’s cabin in the woods. You go to school just to graduate and get your diploma, not to make friends or stand out from the crowd. That was until one day, you enter your home to see a pack of wolves that need shelter.

사람 (People) by thearmyprof

You are preparing to move across the Pacific Ocean and start a new chapter in your life, when a chance meeting with a man in a coffee shop has you questioning the timing of everything in the universe. When you hit it off on your first date, little do you know that the man you’ve already fallen head over heels for is, in fact, a member of BTS.

🗯️ this story doesn't include any insane themes, but so enjoyable and heartwarming. the characters also feel human, well-written.

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | NAVI

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Dirty Little Stories » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Pairings: Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader

Summary: Bucky finds out what a dirty girl Y/N is when he finds her Tumblr blog.

Warnings: Smut (18+), language, dirty talk, kissing, hickeys, fingering, (f receiving), unprotected sex, rough sex, praise kink, metal arm kink, Bucky’s dog tags, name calling (slut), pet names (doll, babydoll, doll face)

Written on my phone so sorry if there’s any mistakes or typos.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

GIF IS NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creators.

Getting used to modern day technology was difficult for Bucky, but with help from you, it was easier than he thought. Now he’s able to talk, text, and do whatever he wants now. As of right now, Bucky was catching up on stuff he missed throughout the years. As he was scrolling through Google, he came across a link that’s connected to Tumblr so he tapped on it to see what it was. That’s when he came across something interesting. He found a blog that has particularly dirty things, meaning the person who runs the blog writes a lot of smut. Bucky tapped on one of the links that took him to one of the stories. His mind was nearly blown when he finished it. He went back to read another one and another one. That’s when something caught his eye. He recognized the name of the person’s blog. The name “Y/N” was displayed in the bio of the blog. It didn’t take long for Bucky to figure out that the blog is ran by his girlfriend, who isn’t as innocent as he thought she was.

“Oh you’re in so much trouble when you get home, doll.” Bucky says to himself.

Bucky continued to read the stories you have posted on your blog. He didn’t like the fact that you were writing and fantasizing about other men, but he will admit that your writing is very well written.

“Bucky, I’m home!” Your voice echoed through the apartment.

You kicked the door shut with your foot and went to the kitchen to put the groceries away. Bucky shut his phone off and put it in his pocket, making his way to the kitchen.

“Hey, doll.” Bucky kisses your lips. “How was the store?” He asks.

“It was alright. It wasn’t as crowded as last week.” You tell him. “Anything interesting happened here?” You asked.

“Not really.” He starts. “I did come across something interesting.” He says, leaning against the kitchen counter and crosses his arms over his chest.

“What was it?” You asked, putting something in the refrigerator.

“Have you heard of something called Tumblr?” He asks.

You stopped in your tracks, nearly dropping the gallon of milk in your hands.

“I- uhh may have came across it a couple times. Why?” You say nervously.

“Well, I seen this blog on there and this person writes stories that are sexual.” He says.

“Oh, th-that’s cool.” You say with a stutter.

“The person also has the same first name as you.” He says.

Your eyes widened. Bucky noticed how you went quiet. He pushed himself off the counter and approached you. Your breathing got heavy when you felt his presence behind you. Bucky’s body was against your back. He placed his hands on the counter on either side of you, trapping you in between his body and the counter. You shivered when you felt his breath against your neck.

“Is there something you want to tell me, doll?” Bucky asks, whispering in your ear.

“N-No.” You say.

“Really? Cause it sounds like you do.” He says.

“I-I don’t know what you mean.” You say, playing dumb.

“Don’t lie to me, babydoll. You exactly know what I’m talking about.” He says.

You gasped when you felt his bulge against your ass. It took everything in you to not give in and tell him that you’re the one writing those stories.

“I think…” Bucky’s right hand slides down the front of your body, stopping on your clothed pussy. “You’re the one who’s writing those dirty stories.” He says, applying pressure to your clit.

“It’s me! I’m the one who’s writing them!” You blurted out, not being able to take it anymore.

“I would’ve never thought that my doll has such a dirty mind.” He says with a chuckle.

Bucky spun you around and threw you over his shoulder, carrying you to the bedroom. He dropped you on the bed causing you to bounce a couple times. He grabbed your ankles and pulled you to the edge of the bed so your legs were dangling from it. His metal fingers tilted your head up so you were looking into his eyes that were once a beautiful blue which now were darker.

“I should punish you for being such a dirty girl, but instead, I’m going to have my fun with you.” He says.

You nodded. Bucky pulled your shirt over your head, revealing your lacy bra to him. He pushed you back so you were laying on the bed. He leaned over you, his dog tags dangling in your face. He placed kisses along your neck and shoulder. You gasped when you felt his teeth graze your skin. He bit down hard enough to create a hickey. His hand blindly found its way to your back and expertly unclasping your bra, discarding it somewhere in the room. His thumbs rubbed over your nipples. You let out a moan when you felt his metal fingers pinch your nipple, sending a new sensation through your body. He moved his lips further down your body, stopping at the waistband of your leggings. Bucky hooked his fingers in the waistband and pulled them down your legs, along with your soaked panties. He got on his knee next to the bed and spread your legs open, displaying your wetness to him. You moaned when you felt his fingers rub in between your wet folds.

“So wet for me.” Bucky says.

He moved his face closer to your pussy. His tongue slid in between your folds, moaning at your taste against his tongue. His tongue circled around your clit a few times before he latched his lips on it and began to suck on it. Your hands flew down to his head, tugging at his hair.

“Oh my god, yes!” You moaned, threw your head back in pleasure.

If you knew one thing about Bucky, it’s that he knows how to eat pussy. He took your pleasure seriously.

You were caught off guard when one of his metal fingers slid past your entrance. Your jaw dropped, breathy moans fell from your lips. The cool metal of his fingers against your walls felt better than any sex you have ever used. Bucky took his lips off your clit, but keeping his metal fingers inside of you, moving them at a painfully slow pace.

“When were you going to tell me about those dirty little stories of yours? Huh, doll?” Bucky asks.

“I-I don’t know.” You say.

Bucky stopped his movements with his fingers causing you to let out a frustrated whine. He chuckled at your frustrated state as he stood up. You watched as he took off his shirt causing you to lick your lips. You leaned up, touching his perfectly sculpted body. Bucky stopped you by grabbing your wrist.

“No touching, doll face.” He let go of your wrist. “Turn around and bend over the bed.” He orders.

You did as you were told and bent over the bed. You the sound of his belt hitting the floor causing you to look over your shoulder. You watched as he took off his jeans and boxers. You licked your lips at the sight of his hard cock.

“Face forward.” Bucky turns your head forward. “Spread ‘em.” He says, tapping your inner thigh.

You spread your legs apart, giving Bucky more access. Bucky rubs his hands over your ass cheeks, giving them a squeeze causing you to gasp.

“All this time, I thought my doll was a good girl.” Bucky says, rubbing his hand up and down your spine.

“I am a good girl.” You mumbled loud enough for him to hear you.

“You are, but as of right now, you’re a dirty little slut.” He says.

Bucky leaned over your body, his dog tags lightly brushed against your back. His metal hand went to the front of your body and down to your clit. His metal fingers lightly rubbed your clit in circles causing your pussy to clench around nothing.

“I know how much you love my metal arm so let’s see how long it takes you to cum just from me rub your little clit.” Bucky says in almost a whisper.

Bucky’s metal fingers applied more pressure to your clit and began rubbing it in circles. You gripped the blankets on the bed from the amount of pleasure Bucky was giving you just from his metal fingers.

“Bucky, please I want you to—” A moan left your lips causing you to cut your sentence short.

“You want me to what, doll?” He asks.

“Fuck me please!” You begged.

“Not until you cum on my metal fingers.” He says.

You opened your mouth to say something, but a moan left your mouth instead when two of his metal fingers slid past your entrance while his metal thumb continued to rub your clit. Your walls immediately clenched around his fingers.

“I know you want to cum. Just do it and I’ll give you my cock.” He whispers in your ear.

It didn’t take long for you to cum. Your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your head as you came hard on his metal fingers.

“There you go. Good girl.” Bucky praises.

You whimpered when he took his metal fingers out of your pussy. Bucky brought his metal fingers up to his mouth and tasted your juices, moaning at the taste. He then rubbed his cock in between your wet folds, his tip bumping your almost sensitive clit causing you to whimper. He lined his cock up at your entrance, slowly sliding it in, inch by inch until he was fully inside of you. He gave you a moment to adjust to his size. You nodded your head, giving him permission to start thrusting. Bucky gripped your hips and slowly pulled his cock out until his tip was left inside of you. With a hard thrust, his whole cock was back inside of you. His thrusts were rough, but loving.

“Such a dirty little slut, aren’t ya, babydoll? Say you’re a dirty little slut.” He says.

“I’m dirty little slut!” You moaned.

“You’re my dirty little slut.” Bucky practically growls.

Bucky leaned down, kissing along the back of your neck, working his way around to your lips. His right hand left your hip, his fingers gripped your jaw firmly and turned your head to capture your lips in a much needed kiss. One of your hands reached up to the back of his head to intensify the kiss. Your fingers ran through his hair, tugging at it causing Bucky to moan against your lips. Bucky’s metal hand left your hip and moved back down to your clit, rubbing it in fast circles.

“Bucky! Oh fuck!” You moaned.

“I love the way you moan my name. Keep saying it.” He says, kissing just below your ear.

“Bucky!” You moaned again.

The tip of his cock hit that one spot inside of you causing your pussy to clench around his cock making him moan at the feeling.

“I won’t last long if you keep doing that.” Bucky moans.

Bucky’s metal fingers applied more pressure to your clit, roughly rubbing it. Your hands clutched the blankets on the bed and your toes curled at the feeling. You felt your orgasm building up again.

“Bucky, I— oh fuck! Please let me cum!” You whined desperately.

“I don’t know if I should let you. You never told me what a dirty girl you are.” Bucky says teasingly.

“I’ll show you everything if you want! Just please let me cum!” You whined again.

“Alright then. Cum for me, doll.” He says.

Bucky’s fingers moved faster against your clit, helping you chase your high. Your orgasm came crashing down on you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you came harder than you did the first time. Bucky was now chasing his high.

“Such a good girl for me.” Bucky praises. “Gonna fill this little pussy up till it’s dripping with my cum.” He says in your ear.

“Yes please!” You moaned.

“Of course you fucking want it.” He chuckles. “Dirty girl.” He growls.

Your name left his lips as he came inside of you. Bucky thrusted a few more times before stopping and leaning against your back, his arms caging you in. You two stood there panting and catching your breath.

“You still with me, doll face?” Bucky moved your hair from your face. “I didn’t break you, did I?” He asks.

“Mmm, I’m good.” You hummed. “Just a little sensitive.” You say.

“Let’s get cleaned up and we can cuddle for the rest of the day.” He says and kissed your cheek.

Bucky slowly pulled his cock out of you causing you to whine. You tried standing up, but your legs were so wobbly causing you to lose your balance. Bucky was quick to catch you. He picked you up bridal style, carrying you to the bathroom for a nice warm bath. After you guys got cleaned up, Bucky gave you one of his t-shirts and got underneath the blankets with you, pulling you close to him. You snuggled yourself against his side and laid your head on his chest. You played with his dog tags.

“Just out of curiosity, how much of my smut did you read?” You asked, tilting your head to look up at him.

“A few.” Bucky answers. “I have to say, you’re quite the writer.” He says.

“Oh god.” You say, hiding your face against his chest.

“I mean it, doll.” He says, lifting your head up to look at him.

You leaned up and kissed his lips sweetly.

“Let me know if you need any inspiration for your dirty little stories.” Bucky says against your lips.

“Bucky!” You whined, lightly smacking his chest causing him to chuckle.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[fasolabean]

warninggg this is a long one ,,,

(Okay so I started writing this uhhh vent before more posts on the n//fts appeared later so plz keep that in mind hah)

So I haven’t been too active on here for the past month – a bit personal start, but I’ve moved to a different country whooo!!!! (its terrifying) (my brains been involved in fandom stuff as usual but physically I wasn’t lmao).

But I wanted to talk ab the n//ft (censoring bc idk ab bots here) thing bc while some people on here provided some great context and threads, most of the talk has happened on twitter. So like. Since it was first confirmed what the raffle thing was I was veryyyy disappointed, especially bc K has made fun of this very thing on stage previously. And like yea, the nature of what hes doing is different than the n//ft crypt0 scams, since the cost of the paywalled content is set and not fluid and the raffle thing was free to enter, and I know there have been threads about the website not being the worst on twitter (link) (edit: now here on tumblr too). But still man. Both of these could’ve been done on either an independent website or through stuff like youtube members or patreon. Or hell, even just on the merch store? Like buy a promo code that buys you access to the material?

Also like I get that this was probably a contract that would be rly hard if not impossible to terminate. STILL though, I wish we just got an even short thing like “hi sorry I wasn’t aware this is gonna be a one time thing we’re not doing it again”. I don’t mind extra content being paywalled personally, I know some people do, but I just really wish it wasn’t don’t with that technology. And yes, I also now know it’s a safer way to handle shit like that but I just cant see this excuse being used for commercial use? Like maybe I can see why I could be made to use it for like idk an important document, but a raffle ticket? Nah

I also, ugh. Felt weird about mikke in the team since the winter. This whole thing seems to be – at least to a large extent – either done or influenced by him, judging by even the fact that the europass thingy webpage has oy photomikke marked (no im not buying it but i did look around curiosity was stronger). Also the previous thing that had made me go hmmm about käärijä as a brand was the bnb, which now seems to be ran entirely by mikke and his wife. Like stick to your photos man? That being said tho, Jere IS an adult and he IS the face of this brand. If he doesn’t think hes qualified to make business decisions all by himself (which I get, this shit is hard), nothing is stopping him really from getting a professional to help him with those things. And if there IS something stopping him then hey man I think you should go to the press with that lol. From any interviews ive seen or read, you can feel he feels this responsibility to keep his friends and family that initially helped him afloat. But I wish he understood that not letting people who in the end are not professional about business and PR and having them stick to their own thing does not have to mean cutting them off.

But now I just wanna share a thought that to some might seem like me defending him – which, in case you didn’t get I am very much not lmao. The thing is, im really glad the fandom is able to call him out on a shitty thing – like a bad baaad business decision. You can like somebody’s art, hell you can even like the public person they are, while not agreeing with everything what they do. What annoys me though, is that apart of the kä fandom, he is also often talked about (usually negatively) in the wider esc fandom. Over the past week I’ve seen multiple threads on twitter from people that rarely ever mention him about this. That would’ve been like, not that much of a deal (though sometimes it really got… engagement bait-y) but the amount of bodyshaming and shaming of his fans that comes up with every valid criticism is making me wanna pull my hair out.

Especially cause he’s neither the first finnish esc-related artist to do that (Robin and Cyan Kicks are mentioned on the kollekt website) nor is he the first esc artist of his influence to do it either. Last year Loreen and Alessandra have released n//fts last year, and Loreen did a very similar raffle a couple months ago. Now I wanna be very clear: I don’t want this to be like. Cancelling these people, that would be so hypocritical of me. I also don’t want this to be like a fandom war like oh youre mad he did xyz?? Well THIS and THIS person did THAT!!1! I’m just merely annoyed that these people doing essentially the same thing went with no echo at all, but now I’ve seen us (the fandom) be literally called the r slur and the most vile things being said about jere and, for some reason, his appearance???

Idk man. I really try to  make it clear im not trying to excuse his decisions and I think being angry and/or disappointed at him is absolutely understandable. Im just angry that every single time he fucks up, every single time he makes a mistake, my timeline is filled with a wave of people rejoicing in it. I know he’s a controversial figure, he’s been one since day one, but I just wish he’s gotten the same amount of shit his peers do for the same actions? And this happens every time, and each time im like “well ig I can see why hes so bad when it comes to criticism”. Because imagine doing a thing that your peers have done with no/minimal criticism and then the moment you try it out you get people calling your fans slurs and commenting how stupid you are. Like ngl id also think any criticism was hate lmao.

Again I wanna be very VERY clear im very critical ab what he chose to do. I wish he took some responsibility – and hope he maybe does, at some point in the future. This year has been a whole lot of bad business decisions for the käärijä brand in my eyes, and I hope he can actually see where its gone wrong and do something about it, both for his and our sake. I am also happy to see fellow fans who are able to call out their fave. But man I am TIRED of him just getting all the shit (from people who very visibly fans are not)?? And now I have the proof that it is comparably more than other people and not just my bias towards him because wdym there’s been at least 4 esc artists, 2 of which more famous than him, and 2 umk artists doing exactly the same thing with almost no echo??

TLDR (thishasover1kwordsfuckshit); I wish he did better, simply. I kinda cling to some hope that maybe hey finally this time he will see that criticism can be constructive. I think this is still a level of fucking up that you can like, come back from. Pity it’s connected to the eurotour since kinda souring my excitement ab my first concert in a new country a bit :(

[mm-275]

MILES MORALES HEADCANNONS

Request: nope

tw: some cuss words

- You would probably have had to have asked him out first, cause I know everything that happened with Gwen and when he flirted with her, scarred him.

- If you asked him out, honestly good for you cause he would’ve taken literally forever to do it himself 😭

- Butttt, if he asked you out, he took FOREVER to even think about talking to you, let alone asking you out on a date.

- This boy is so incredibly bad with saving up his money. He was able to do it the first few dates, but don’t get used to it because most dates will be on his roof or in his or your rooms (you don’t mind because he makes it fun)

- You guys get into a good flow of a relationship pretty quickly, and if you have classes with him, the teachers hate you guys so much (it’s his fault he’s throwing stuff at you) 

- He would never rush you in anything, so any “major” steps in the relationship will probably have to be initiated by you (hand holding, first kiss, etc etc)

- But you were never made aware of this, so on the like 5th date you’re like “wtf why won’t he hold my hand”

- He just doesn’t know how a relationship works (we know his mom would murder him if he got a girlfriend), so please help him out he’s clueless 😭

- When you meet his parents, Rio and Jeff think your great (you have the decency to call them Mr & Mrs Morales), and you brought Rio some flowers (you bugged Miles for WEEKS to get him to find out her favorite flower)

- They do question you thoroughly, not to be rude, they wanna make sure you’re a good influence and that you care (I love Gwen but Miles had to have had so much patience I would kick her out the SECOND she put her shoes on my bed)

- Reassure them that you don’t want to nor that you’ve ever done drugs/gotten drunk, and it’s even better if you get good grades.

- They probably invited you to stay for dinner, and you devour Rio’s food (cause I can smell that she cooks like a goddess) and if you ask her to teach you to cook she’s in love and she will make you hang out with her more than you hang out with Miles.

- I think Jeff would be a little less trusting, I mean, he’s a cop so he knows shit that goes down in the streets (he followed you around once or twice when he saw you and Miles walking somewhere together)

- When you wanna take Miles to meet your parents, he’s fucking terrified. He forgets everything and runs everything by you 4x to make sure

- “Does this outfit look good?” “Miles, it’s fine my parents don’t care that much” “I don’t like this shirt hold on-”

- Wears his nicest clothes and shoes he can find, and makes sure to bring your mom her favorite flowers (this is his payback for your weeks and weeks of asking him about his mom)

- He seems like the type of kid that parents love, so he leaves with your parents loving him (he checks 3x a week if they still like him)

- I don’t think he has a big type, I think he’s cool with whatever as long as your personalities click (he’s a thigh guy I stand by that)

- Whatever classes you guys don’t have together, he will walk you to yours. Don’t try to stop him, he will not listen. He will, however, be late to his own class because he did want to hold your hand down the hallway.

- He’s so terrified to tell you about him literally being spiderman, and when he does tell you, you dont believe him, then he pulls out his suit and climbs on the wall and you’re like wtf (like the tom holland spiderman scene)

- Will sneak into your room/sneak you into his room at night because he’s lonely and he loves you (especially before you meet parents)

- Says I love you first, but does it without realizing it because he’s been thinking it, but it slips out and he doesn’t realize it until you react to it.

-----------------------------

pt. 2 is up but tumblr hates me and wont let me link anything

[dnpanimationstudioclone]

Charlie’s Intentions

Awhile back I made a theory about why Charlie and Sev broke up(her secretly using him to try to find Lilith) and how the hotel could be a second attempt to reach out to her

Not trying to say she’s never done good things that help others or atleast tried to….but when you think of it, they’re often still to or for her benefit(for the hotel to work). Warning this goes DEEEEEPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!

Helping Sir Pentious even after the reveal(fav moments) Even after beign revealed to be a Vee spy, Charlie forgave him and let him have the chance to be a real guest….but that would be to her benefit(having more guests, especially those willing to go along with her activities). Many have pointed how quick she was to support Sir P, making Angel feel left out(I get both sides, on the one hand she def put a lot of attention towards Sir P and perhaps couldve been more supportive towards Angel like in the roleplay, but on the other hand, Angel at that time often made it VERY clear to their faces he didn’t believe in the plan or was interested beyond having a free room and going on the idea the pilot events still happened, AFTER THAT whole stunt at the terf war & News station, he’s pretty lucky Charlie didn’t just kick him out, like Vaggie probably would’ve wanted(can’t blame her though Angel def is not easy to her especially).

But that begs the question, did she let Angel stay and puts up with his behaviour as she genuinely didn’t want to give up on him, understanding redeeming him wouldn’t be easy or because….he was their ONLY client and didn’t want to risk losing that but now that there’s another and seemingly easier to work with client, ready to focus solely on him…was she just being innocently insensitive, not understanding how that hurt Angel or…was she honestly just more focused on making progress with anybody.

Was her putting Vaggie in charge of the trust activities out of a well meaning but misguided spur of the moment decision thinking they’d relate better to Vaggie as not jsut a sinner but also someone learning to trust them and vice versa…or was it to avoid screwing things up herself, as none of her past attempts seem to work a lot and figure Vaggie would have better luck as she’s able to control things, or if it didn’t work wouldn’t really cause any more damage to Vaggie’s already distant relationship with the gang. And only intervened when things were getting out of control and apologized to Vaggie as th least thign she’d want is her biggest help to go…

I don’t think we need to really get too deep into how she handled didnt go so well Ep 4. She never really thought much of Angel’s work situation and situation in general outside the hotel and the main motive for her going to Val was to get Angel more time for HER project(which wouldn’t have been so bad had it not ended how it did). During one of the sets she was advertising the hotel to a camera guy WHILE FILMING! And though the fire was an accident and careless OSHA, had she have just waited and focused on talking specifically about Angel to Val or had waited to talk with Angel when he returned, I think it’s safe to say a lot would have been different atleast. She did atleast seem, genuinely remorseful and wanted to make things right for unintentionally getting Angel hurt….or was it more about Angel being mad at her(not about making someone u care about angry at you via doing something to upset or hurt them and more about him not trusting her and potentially would reconsider being her client). Perhaps a mix of both?

Valentino-For all you know Amorcito, part of her screwed things up on purpose just so you wouldn’t try to get her to help beyond her stupid hotel 🏨 😈

Not 100% sure of the afternath(how fully aware she and the gang r of the situation, just know Val SUCKS and it’d be ideal to get him away). Did she talk to him about it after, did she ask the gang on what could be done, is she looking for ways beyond jsut the hotel to get him out, is she figuring that the best thing for her to do for Angel is to help him redeem and get into Heaven….or just focusing on her main goal, now seeing more motivation for Angel.

Was she really inspired by her father and his “dreams”, or figured by connecting to him in a way, he’d at least listen cause of his ego, being the King of Pride. She did still say “my people” not “our”.

Charlie was under the belief her dad was only in contact with her “when he was bored or needed something(not sure what bored could mean, maybe her not realizing he did want to check up on her). Didn’t call in over 5 months…whos to say she figure turn the tables. She only had gotten him involved when they were desperate and it was Vaggie who suggested his help.

Was Charlie just angry about the higher ups not knowing what gets someone into Heaven because of the potential implications of people who aren’t necessarily pure evil being damned to eternal blaze or even death because of this system….or also because she realized all the stuff she was trying to do to begin with could’ve been all for nothing, wouldn’t change things. Heck one could argue she was defending Angel from Adam because she had allowed him and the others to go to the club, perhaps wanted to give them a lil reward for the help so far and though it would’ve also kept them from being in or causing trouble(especially since she’s paying) while she and Vaggie were gone( another thing is perhaps her wanting to make up for ep 4 by letting angels friend take him and the rest out for a fun night, appease her own guilt)loss

Did she come to forgive Vaggie because she genuinely wanted to despite what she did and lying to her and that it’s part of her principles she promotes in the hotel like Rosie said(second chances) or because Rosie reminded her Vaggie’s been the one helping her throughout the story and coudlnt afford to stay angry with the war coming(Vaggie also brought weaponry too). Heck it was VAGGIE who explained things and made it clear to the gang this wasn’t their fight and had no obligation to risk themselves while Charlie ran off with Al, not even explaining what they’re doing.

I’m not trying to say Charlie’s some bad person who’s manipulating everyone. It’s clear she does have legitimate care for the gang and has had moments showing that, but you can’t deny there’s a lot that could be interpreted of having….ulterior motives. People often run by a bit of self motivation, we all need a little of that, it’s only a problem when u don’t consider how it could affect others, only focusing on your own goals and desires.

She’s not only not really thought a lot of the gang and their stuff beyond the hotel, but also def unaware how sinners are and hasn’t seem to done really solid research on humans or the concepts of redemption and rehabilitation. I don’t think she’s even asked them WHAT THEY DID TO COME DOWN TO HELL! She def didn’t seem all too interested in Missy mentioning how she knew Al back when he was alive. She also didn’t give her the same kinda introducing she did with Sir P. Granted she was busy with her dad but you’d think she’d have been atleast more interested.

Could one of the reasons that her methods and activities are kinda childish just simply because she’s very sheltered and naive… or that’s she’s simply scratching the surface to make the sinners seem good enough for Heaven so news will spread and Lilith…for all we know the day she helped Vaggie could…be more than meets the eye. Was she already out with the intent of trying to help sinners(her moms people) from the extermination or was there something else…(I like to imagine she was trying to help sinners💖)

Is her heart completely in the right place and just goes about things the wrong way…or could even her good intentions have an under layer of selfishness she doesn’t even realize that compromises the hotel’s goal of helping and healing souls. If this could be the case, could this reflection help Charlie grow and learn how to help sinners, being able to properly connect with them….or could this realization drive a genuine wedge between her and everyone

….perhaps leading to

What do u guys think? Could their be a bit of dark in her sweet apple core? really love to know💖🍎🍏

[strawbubbysugar]

Coming off anon for this one cuz oh boy it’s theory time and I’m feeling very silly

(I just woke up at the time of writing so sorry for any typos, rambling, or confusion lol)

Alright! So, I’ve been thinking a lot about the existence of Eclipse and the theories popping up about them lately mainly: that Clipsey is a recycle of Moon’s broken body. Which I’ll touch up on first.

The issue that was presented with Moon by this definitely-not-at-all-suspicious engineer was that his processing unit was smashed and ‘unsalvageable’ (which we know to not be true), and aside from the obvious injuries cause by Trap, no major problems with Moon’s case are brought up. His *internals* were destroyed, aside from his battery which was reused.

Continuing forward, the SOMA comparisons. Reading through a plot synopsis of the game, I can’t help but link the destruction of Moon-man’s processing unit and Simon’s brain injury together a bit. Considering that that is the partial cause for Sun and Moon combining and the reason for Simon getting his brain scan copy. Both undergoing heavy ‘brain’ damaging and being brought to very odd circumstances because of it.

With the assumption that this is *actually* Moon’s body, “Uploaded into a modified corpse” is a *very* apt description for what Eclipse is. They’re a copy of someone (two people technically) inhabiting the dead body of the original, almost like Pry/ncess in a weird way.

That’s where the comparisons for the game and Bethroned end to my knowledge however, so time to move onto the more ‘looking too far into things’ section of my theory,

The design and color scheme!

Starting off, I noticed that the coloring of the Sun side on their face was reused from *post incident* which makes sense, that’s how Sun would’ve been seen last before running away with Pry/ncess, the eyes obviously match up as well.

Though the tops of the rays have noticeably sharper points to them if that’s anything at all, it’s impossible to draw the something the same way every single time after all so that can be easily written off.

The same can be said for Moon as well, the coloring of his face matches up with theirs, however his other features are… very much not intact. Very close but not quite.

The coloring and patterning of the hat is entirely different, the cape maintains the same coloring but the stars on Eclipse’s are much smaller and more faded than Moon’s as well.

What’s throwing me off though is the eyes, for both post incident and for Eclipse the right eye gained a black sclera, Moon’s pupil turned white, but Eclipse’s stayed red.

If Eclipses body was Moon’s then this could’ve happened naturally, the eye could’ve simply underwent the same damage/change as it did with Moon’s form in Sun’s body. Though do to this being his actual form the pupil could’ve kept its regular eye color.

Their lack of a mouth could also mean that they can’t speak, another drastic contrast in characterization to our boys. From the artwork we’ve been shone of them they see, cunning, clever, but very, VERY distressed. (Be a bit weird to consciously design eye-bags on your new king after all, right? That’s their own fault.)

And for my last point, their crown and the Opal.

This is the most obvious ‘combination’ in their design, it gets the rounded bottom of Sun’s and the gem formation and top shape of Moon’s. When overlayed on top of each other you also get similar colors to Eclipse’s crown, though more cleaned up and appealing on the eyes.

The gem in this crown has been confirmed to be an opal (if my memory serves me right I can’t find the post anywhere to confirm, tumblr search engine is bleh)

There were a few pieces of folklore and symbolism relating to the opal that I found particularly interesting with what little we know about Eclipse.

Mainly, it representing loyalty and goodluck as well as royalty. A lot of other interpretations I found pointed to it granting foresight and being responsible for prophecy, something you’d certainly want your king to have after the huge string of ‘bad luck’ that befell both of them.

Loyalty to prevent another incident like Sun choosing Pry/ncess over his kingdom and trusting them first, foresight and prophecy so that they can avoid incident like King Freddy dying and, well, Sun and Moon’s incident. and royalty is obvious.

Though the loyalty interpretation and foresight/intelligence can vary widely in intention depending on if Chica or PeePaw (maybe both, stares at Trap) is responsible for their existence. Cant speak that much on it before they’ve even appeared in the story.

Alright so what am I getting at with all this? Well, put simply, Eclipse’s design and name are very very intentional and combining the Princes was clearly in mind when they were (re)built by whoever their creator is. I believe that they attempted to program, be it from scratch with parts of Moon’s processor or with some kind of backup of Sun *somehow*, Sun into Moon’s body and combine their ai together in order to make a new heir.

Again, can’t find the message, but Eclipse’s existence was described as ‘decidedly uncomfortable’ which is very understandable if this were true, having you and your brother’s brain and memories COMPLETELY sewn together, not even with semi separate minds or personalities like with the actual Sun and Moon, would be very, VERY lacking in the ‘good for your mental health’ department, especially if you knew you aren’t the original ‘you’, just a clone, a do-over, a combination of two other failures that you need to clean the mess from up.

Put simply, I believe Eclipse is a combination of Sun and Moon, but not THE combination of Sun and Moon. If that makes any sense. They’re a replication of both placed inside Moon’s old body and used to fill the empty spot on the throne and potentially-maybe-hopefully-not help Afton.

Hands down my favourite ask ever. Like oh my god you did it. You got everything. You caught all the little secrets I put in and I’m flabbergasted. WOW. I AM. SO HAPPY HSFSG

THANK YOU FOR PUTTING SO SO SO MUCH TIME AND EFFORT AND ENERGY INTO THIS ANALYSIS BECAUSE I JUST. I MIGHT CRY. THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME SOBS :;;

[googledetective]

the theories that have been presented on this cast + one of my own :)

I do want to mention that I strongly believe this is a prequel due to a conversation I had with a bunch of people on discord earlier. (Everyone was 16+, dw.)

I haven’t seen anything about the first two at all so far, so I’ll be skipping over them and onto the third guy (oh my fucking lord).

(Also this post from @nesisamess helped a lot)

Staring onto the third dude,

(both posts are made by @zitherwaifuus :)

It seems that here this guy has some sort of relationship to XF-Future Tech, which if you’ve seen Min’s side story, you’d know is the company that came into her life and groomed her to be the Ultimate Student. She received special tutoring for them and worked her ass off for that title her entire life because of that. Next, this guy shares the same tie pin she does, and it’s also very notable that she dresses up with the same button down and tie in her MV. Not only do I think she is linked to the company now, but she might be working there before she was in the game. Who knows, though.

Next, I have not seen anything on the fourth girl besides a bunch of people on discord theorizing what the dandelion in her hair could mean. Unfortunately dandelions have different meanings from different cultures all over the world, so until it’s specified about where she’s from, I don’t think there’s many assumptions we can make yet.

Number Five, the purple guy.

Everyone seems to think so far that this is Elliot Cuevas, Charles Cuevas’s deceased brother. Now let me tell you that although I can’t see it based off design, the way he looks (playful and kinda weird but happy) and the way he was described by the creator in the latest qna (a popular joyous dude), can definitely make me see this being real. The only thing that is super far fetched about this is that we know he died a long time ago, and so if this is a prequel, it would have to be at least 15 years before drdt even starts.

Here’s also some more evidence from @sunlit-haru supporting the ‘that’s Elliot’ theory.

Now we’re up to the protagonist, who mind you is definitely my favorite so far. I will eliminate the rest of you protag dickriders so I will be the only simp left.

ANYWAYS, in the about page for this, it’s stated that this is a fangan for someone who wants to be the perfect teacher. Now with the hidden quote on the drdt tumblr page about this teacher…

( @demodraws0606 ‘s post)

Uh oh. I think we’ve figured out who this mysterious teacher might be. As for who is talking to them, I’ve personally got a few ideas, but they are not backed with any evidence.

1. The mastermind from this first killing game

2. Mai Akasaki or David Chiem still

3. The mastermind of the drdt killing game

Whoever it is, I think that these games are surely related and that each current kg participant does have a relation with one of these cast members. And that previous killing game’s end is why this one is happening.

Then, based off the post up top and a few others, people seem to think this is Teruko’s brother. I’m going to give a wild theory (no evidence) that Mai Akasaki knows him, only bc of the red in his hair. Then I think Mai would’ve found Teruko, and she would’ve been trying to reconnect them. Just a theory, though. There’s no evidence based around that this guy might be Teruko’s brother though, sadly.

Last but not least, @1moreff-creator pieced together some of the text on his badge:

I’m just gonna say that I’m seriously impressed with your efforts cause I have no fucking clue that could even be readable lmao.

*UPDATE ON TEXT: holy mother of god, @xmicrophonyx is a fucking god, and deciphered it. Here you go, and we all have got to give a serious thank you to them.

Sadly I cannot link the image of what the phone number gets to, but it gets linked to a yellow pill. I don’t have any ideas on how it would relate to the game, but I think it does. It’s used for high blood pressure and heart failure. If he’s really related to Teruko, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had high blood pressure lmao.

Also, the area code for 555 is just North America.

Here’s what I found on Wikipedia:

“The telephone number prefix 555 is a central office code in the North American Numbering Plan, used as the leading part of a group of 10,000 telephone numbers, 555-XXXX, in each numbering plan area (NPA) (area code). It has traditionally been used only for the provision of directory assistance, when dialing NPA-555-1212.

The central office code is also used for fictitious telephone numbers in North American television shows, films, video games, and other media in order to prevent practical jokers and curious callers from bothering telephone subscribers and organizations by calling telephone numbers they see in works of fiction.”

I don’t understand the first part, but it seems that this is a fictional number. If someone could explain to me wtf that first part even memes, I might be able to give more info.

Anyways, it seems that this guy ended up being a teacher at HPA, before or after the killing game. But I think this was very worth mentioning.

Unfortunately I’ve seen nothing about the next two, but I want to say that the girl in all pink (#8) I think is Felicity Giles, if that’s even possible. I just feel that’s Arturo’s sister. I know, I’m a weirdo. Even if #7 looks more like Arturo, I just cannot see it.

Moving on, nine and ten! If you look at them closely they’ve got the same eye pattern, suggesting they’re siblings, or likely twins, since they’ve got the fire/ice scheme going on.

Lastly, eleven which oh my god, Arturo’s dream girl! But she’s been theorized to be Whit’s mom. Here’s the post that argues a pretty convincing reason of why.

Oh boy. That woman is pretty cool and is very elegant, and has the same shade of blond hair that Whit dyed his too. I don’t think she’s any coincidence.

But joining along on that last little paragraph of this person’s post, it’s starting to seem a lot of characters do have connections to this cast and are seemingly mentioned quite a few times.

UPDATE: oh my lord, @accirax literally went on a deep dive for us and gave us a pretty good explanation and educated guess on everyone’s talents. I’m not going to link it because they covered pretty much every logical point as to why they have their guesses. Here’s the post if you haven’t already seen it https://www.tumblr.com/accirax/728687594893885440/drdt-new-character-talent-analysis

Anyways this is just the sum-up of everyone’s theorizing + a bit of my add on to it, and huge kudos to everyone who’s been making theories so far. I’ll be updating & crediting if there’s anymore notable things that come out.

Thanks for reading!

[rosethornewrites]

NR, E , & M reading since 11/10

Tumblr has issues with imbedding links, so sometimes the URL is included.

Finished

Not Rated:

Before the Thirteen Years Without You, by Bblottiefottie (2 chapters) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/39293991/chapters/98327496)

-Novel Spoilers-

In which Lan Wangji hides an emotionally unstable Wei Wuxian in a cave after the massacre at Nightless City

becoming a ghost, by duravis (https://archiveofourown.org/works/35823868)

Perhaps it’d be easier to turn them away if she were a little more cruel. If her years being brought up by Wen Ruohan had hardened her heart a little more definitively. But—

Here is a wound. Here’s how you fix it.

Explicit:

Coming Back to Yourself, by acernor (7 chapters)

Lan Wangji gets cursed with a ~woman's body~ and has to orgasm to go back. Since he's 1) a virgin 2) super repressed and 3) SUPER gay, he has no idea what to do.

If only he had a super nosy friend who's read lots of erotic novels who could help him figure out what to do... hm...

follow the sound of my song, by sassybluee (🔒, 2 chapters, 2nd in a series)

He reaches up to touch his forehead, to remove the ribbon that has been his constant companion, his constant reminder of who he must be. The one piece of himself that has been with him through everything, from his earliest memories, to his deepest regrets. His entire history is in its very fibres.

His brother lets out a small gasp as his fingers pinch the material, raising his hand as though to reach out and stop him.

Lan Wangji lowers his hand.

___

Lan Wangji begins his new life with Wei Wuxian

call me home and I'll build you a throne, by anaphoricae (8 chapters)

“I’ll help,” Lan Wangji says.

“Hey, Lan Zhan...” Wei Wuxian unfolds his leg and gives his foot a playful kick. “I told you to think about it! This means I’d be here for a long time, taking up your time, your space, your peace. And I can’t pay you! I have nothing of worth to give. It isn’t as simple as-”

“I’ll do it,” he says again, more forcefully this time. “You don’t have to give me anything.”

Wei Wuxian looks away, hiding a small smile. Doesn’t he know Lan Wangji would do anything for him, by now? Doesn’t he understand that he holds Lan Wangji’s life in his hands?

-

POST-CQL Wei Wuxian comes back to the Cloud Recesses to ask for Lan Wangji's help with his new golden core.

Together, they learn how to communicate, how to ask for things, and how to touch each other.

Their relationship develops in between quiet dinners in the Jingshi, meditation sessions, core training and a lot of Lan Juniors speculation on whether or not they're actually together yet.

Mature:

the flutter of a butterfly, by Krissy (https://archiveofourown.org/works/38751807)

The writing described a ritual of some sorts and the more he read, the more he crumpled the paper under his fingers, the more his head started to spin.

His sister. If this worked, he could see his sister again.

☾

One year after Wei Wuxian’s death, Jiang Cheng finds an old ritual that allows one to travel back to the past. He didn’t expect the consequences to be that disastrous.

Jin Ling vs. The 8 Uncles of Sex Education, by Wildcard (https://archiveofourown.org/works/28960575)

(When Jin Ling turns 13, his uncle tries to kill him.

If Jin Ling ever expected a family member to try to murder him, he would’ve thought it would be Jin Chan, that bully, or at least another Jin. He did not expect to be accosted in Lotus Pier, of all places, by his beloved jiujiu.

He definitely did not expect his death to involve a comb.)

Jin Ling would really appreciate it if his uncles would stop trying to give him the talk. Please. Bad enough to receive it once but to have to listen to it EIGHT TIMES from uncles who are convinced the other uncles didn’t do a good enough job?

(And just when he thinks his suffering is over, an uncle COMES BACK FROM THE DEAD to educate him. Jin Ling is cursed.)

the shapes a bright container can contain, by litbynosun (3 chapters) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/24598735/chapters/59419996)

"Lan Zhan, look at this," Wei Wuxian calls. "They don't have organs, but they're all… fuzzy."

He gently strokes the corpse's arm -- it's covered in soft, pigmentless downy hair, like a rabbit.

Lan Wangji crouches next to him and nods.

"Lanugo," he says.

Wei Wuxian raises one eyebrow.

"They were malnourished for quite a while before death," Lan Wangji elaborates.

Wei Wuxian scans the bodies again. Indeed, they both have sunken cheeks, and their abdomens are empty of both organs and fat padding.

“That’s a question,” he says. “Did they starve to death, and have their bodies desecrated after they were already deceased? Or were they murdered, and simply starving at the same time?”

"We should stay," Lan Wangji tells him.

This is not an answer to his question. It is an offer to search for answers.

Or: Wei Wuxian and his family solve a ghost haunting. Wei Wuxain's old enemy, societal injustice, rears its head again.

Unfinished

Not Rated:

The Cultivation World Needs a Reset, by FangirlingIsLife (https://archiveofourown.org/works/55413919/chapters/140600317)

Do not succumb to anger.

It was one of the founding rules of the Lan Clan and yet Lan Zhan could feel nothing other than a cold fury filling his veins.

He watched as his husband in all but ceremony let himself fall to Jiang Cheng’s blade.

Even at his death, his soul mate would never raise a hand to defend himself against their tyranny.

Well fuck that.

Beiming: To Lament- 33 Reasons to Change the Past, by ravenhg (🔒)

It had been one week since Wei Wuxian’s life ended.

One week since his love, his life, his everything, had been ambushed by remnants of Jin Guangyao and Su She’s followers.

Wei Wuxian really should have known better.

“What will you do, gongzi?” Wen Ning asked quietly.

Wei Wuxian smiled, his eyes burning like coals.

_____________________

Or:

After the death of the most important person in their lives, Wei Wuxian and Lan Qiren choose to return to the past to prevent everything. This changes things.

Explicit:

The Threads of Fate, by WaitForTheSnitch

“What would you do if you could have him back?” Nie Huaisang asked him, a bit too seriously as he leaned forward.

“There is no way for a dead cultivator to return,” Jiang Cheng scoffed, not even willing to entertain the thought.

“Perhaps, perhaps not,” Nie Huaisang shrugged, “Even if he came back, that wouldn’t do much to help, would it? Your sister is still gone. His reputation still damaged.”

“Stop speaking in riddles,” Jiang Wanyin growled, “What did you come here for, Nie Huaisang?”

“I asked you what you would do for your brother back,” Nie Huaisang started, “I would do anything to have mine back, Jiang Wanyin. And I’m here to offer you that same choice. Because our brothers’ deaths never should have happened. They happened because of schemes and plots. They happened because of lies and deception. Your brother was made to be a villain and was led to his death because he was too powerful. Mine was murdered because he stood in the way of Jin Guangshan.”

There's nothing Jiang Cheng wouldn't do to have his siblings back. And when Nie Huaisang comes to him with a proposal to save them by changing everything, he doesn't even hesitate to agree.

Little One, by LovelyTurtleBeans

During the Phoenix Mountain Hunt, Lan Wangji confesses that he was the one who kissed Wei Wuxian. The talk escalates into something more and, before they know it, they're entangled in bed in one of the guest rooms in Jinlintai. Time passes and the freeing of the Wen Remnants and Wei Wuxian's defection come to pass. The future is uncertain, and both Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are on unclear waters until...

Mature:

Mine and mine alone, by Lanwangjisnights

He likes to live out his kinks, but hadn’t found anyone matching his preferences yet, has given up the hope to find someone capable to satisfy his itches.

But today, today he needs to go under. Needs someone to make sure he is pleasured, instead of going through tremendous efforts himself to find a semblance of satisfaction.

Lan Zhan opens the filters, adds a tick on everything he searches for today. Or tomorrow. Or in the very near future - It doesn’t matter as long as it’s soon. Dominance. Bondage. Subspace. Rough Sex.

Or:

Lan Zhan finds Dominant Yiling Laozu on a Kink Website, meets up with him and falls incurably in love.

A lotus instead of a orchid, by Sammie224466 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/18552892/chapters/43975183)

What if, that night on the Burial Mounds, Jiang WanYin had been the one to find Wen Yuan instead of Lan WangJi and he wound up raising the child?

To Ride A Stygian Tiger, by Madyamisam (https://archiveofourown.org/works/23143639/chapters/55386229)

Wei Wuxian changes fate and is wounded while saving Jin Zixuan at the Qiongqi bridge and a great mystery starts to unravel many hidden secrets never known before. While trying to deal with his own increasing madness, seeing threats everywhere in past, present and future, he sets an impossible task to save everyone he ever cared about with his very life and soul.

Alternate, by Hanashi_o_suru

No one is actually sure what happened, or why it happened. No one died. No one made any whacked up array that backfired --to their knowledge--and no one wasn't necessarily in discontent for where they were in life...

So, why is it they're suddenly in the past to the day they had just got to the Cloud Recesses?

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

mercy for the character ask game 💖

Mercymorn my best friend Mercymorn!!!

favorite thing about them: she contains many contradictory multitudes! I’m so intrigued by her genuine devotion to John— she’s so fervent I can only assume it’s true— next to her commitment to wanting to kill him. She loves him, she has no *moral* qualms with him. but the grief over Cristabel’s death is just so great that knowing that it could have all been avoided is like the single thing she could never look past

and she’s also very uneasy in the beginning of HTN, I wonder if she was having second thoughts? that’s the only way I can read her first conversation with Augustine

least favorite thing about them: I would’ve liked her to interact more with Harrow just because it would be interesting. I really like her dynamic and her seeming to despise Harrow for both seeing herself in her and presumably that Harrow managed to preserve her cavalier

favorite line: obviously acid jail is an all timer. from a character perspective the entire segment dinner segment before dios apate minor is FASCINATING. this bit:

“You’re wrong, Augustine. You still hate Cristabel … you hated my cavalier long before what she did.” […]

“Do I, Mercy? God help me, I don’t think I do.”

She said, “Look me in the eyes and say that.” […]

“Joy, what’s done is done. They’re dead. The crime is punished. I don’t hate Cristabel.”

Her face was savage and smooth and implacable. “Say it again,” she said

absolutely deranged choice of fake conversation to have before pivoting to having sex on the dinner table directly after. she also later yells at him for being the one to bring up Cristabel when he most certainly did not lol it was all on her!

brOTP: I don’t really have one, I feel like all the OG lyctors are fucking so it’s not much of a bro situation lol and the newbies she just doesn’t have much of a dynamic with? it is really funny seeing her yell at the Blood of Eden people tho

OTP: oh you know!!! (Mercystine)

nOTP: I don’t really have one tbh. there are plenty of potential ship dynamics I don’t care about but nothing that I actively hate

random headcanon: I do actually agree with the literal pink hair fanon. she’s the sort of person who says “hiss” out loud she was clearly super fucking online and I could see her dyeing her hair pink pre res and then just keeping it that way. like Mercymorn definitely had a tumblr and she remembers nyan cat and carmeldansen even tho both memes are probably really old by her era. she probably had an ugly pink gamer girl set up at home

unpopular opinion: Mercybel is rather boring? I prefer what that death means for Mercy rather than caring much about it as like a dynamic

favorite picture of them: I don’t have a link on hand but the Mercystine stairwell Leyendecker study is soooo good

[chayannecraft]

So for your qsmp botw au are there any differences between Chayanne and Pomme's dynamic vs Link and Zelda's???

Like do they get along, or does Pomme initially hate Chayanne for following her around and trying to protect her all the time?

i love them sm i just want to hear about them lol

Holds your shoulders. Hello OP thank you SO SO SO much for asking about botw au I literally would do anything for you!! Unfortunately tumblr deleted the seven paragraphs and counting answer I had to this so pain is real and agony is real BUT I WILL PREVAIL REGARDLESS. I SWEAR. THEY WILL NOT STOP ME FROM TALKING ABOUT MINI CODEBREAKERS BUT ALSO THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE ASK <333 I will talk about them always oh my god I’m always geared to I love them so much too. My kids. They make me cry

Clears my throat! Ok ok ok. You’re right though!! Pomme initially does not, like, absolutely despise Chayanne but there is some strong envy and maybe even hate in there. For a lot of reasons: Chayanne is assigned her personal knight AND the chosen hero despite the fact that she can beat his ass in a fight. His appearance with The Master Sword also gave the kingdoms a lot of hope that she couldn’t, since she was struggling to unlock her powers. There were so many eyes on her, digging into her back, depending on her, she couldn’t help but wish it was her as the chosen hero instead. It would’ve made everything so much easier.

But like Zelda and Link, they do eventually start to bond and a friendship starts building between the two. Nothing romantic, for obvious reasons, but that doesn’t mean it’s not important!!! They start connecting and confiding in each other, and more importantly, believing in each other. They give each other hope. Maybe they won’t fail. Maybe destiny is right, and they’ll win, and then after they can go anywhere in the world. Chayanne can bring her to the Antarctic Empire and show her everything the way she’s shown him!!

Of course, you know what happens <— says me being dramatic as I crumple to the floor in absolute pain crying. By the way do you ever think about Pomme unlocking her powers because Chayanne is about to die, will die. Do you think about her clinging to his injured body knowing he’s past the point of waking up. Do you. Can anybody hear me. Is this thing on (crying)

After BOTW is done, they’re both just so. God. Ough. They both cling to each other and the guilt of what they’ve failed to do haunts them in every moment they will ever live. In a way only the other is going to ever understand. Their nightmares are mirrors of each other, their failures each others as much as theirs. Destiny has brought them the same pain. But the other is alive and they hold the other so hard their nails bite into skin, they both shadow each other. They’re alive together, and haunted.

They’re very much fighting to protect the other, arms and legs clashing as they try to push the other behind them to protect them. They learn to fight together and cover each others weaknesses and become an absolutely terrifying force to be reckonened with. People are convinced it’s part of the triforce.

They can probably read the other better than themselves, maybe even KNOW each other better than each other. They have a category 5 moment if the other ever gets missing or is gone. But in the end they’re both also just kids. Heroes, Legends even!!! The Hero and The Goddess!! But still just kids. Kids finally learning how to live, not worrying if they have seen the other for the last time. Soulmates who have been denied peace again and again, who are starting to fight back and claw it forward together, just for the other. Just so they can be happy.

[sephirthoughts]

Father: Verb

Summary: 11 year-old WMD Sephiroth is assigned a new handler/bodyguard, named Vincent Valentine.

rating: teen and up

(prev chapter and ao3 linked at bottom)

NOTE: I am new to tumblr and I just found out tag lists are a thing. So if any of the three people who read this would like to be on the tag list for chapters, just let me know!

Chapter 6: Birthday Cake, Redux

“Vincent, what kind of cake should we have for our birthday?” Sephiroth asked eagerly, that morning.

“Any kind you want,” Vincent replied, ruffling his hair. “You know I can’t eat it.”

“But I want to get something you would’ve liked, so I can pretend you’re enjoying it with me.”

“I will be enjoying it with you. I don’t have to eat it myself to enjoy it.”

“I wish you could, though. I would enjoy it a lot more if I knew you were, too.”

Despite being very nearly as tall as his bodyguard, now, and constantly taken for much older than he was, due to his outsized height and his calm, courteous demeanor, Sephiroth held Vincent’s hand as they walked into Nibelheim, just like he always had.

Innocent as they were, both were completely oblivious to any erroneous conclusion an outsider might draw, when seeing a beautiful teenaged boy, clinging so affectionately to what appeared to be a very handsome young man.

At the bakery, which was under new management, now, a middle-aged brunette woman greeted them cheerfully, and brought out the cake catalogue. After much deliberation, Sephiroth chose a lemon chiffon cake. The strawberry cake had been delicious, but he decided that he wanted something less sweet, to reflect his more mature palate, this year. He was nearly fourteen, after all.

“What a lovely thing, that the two of you share a birthday,” the woman said, smiling at Sephiroth, as she wrote down their order. “You must be a fated pair.”

Vincent was standing against the far wall, with his head down and arms crossed, and so heard nothing of this.

“A fated pair?” Sephiroth asked. “What is that?”

“Being a fated pair means whatever forces govern the order of the universe—whether it's fate, or the gods, or the will of the heavens—want the two of you to be together.”

“Really?” the boy said, with shining eyes. “Because, I do want to be with Vincent forever. He’s my special person.” Then his face fell. “Oh…except. Well, we don’t really have the same birthday. It’s only that I don’t know when mine is, so he shares his with me.”

The woman thought for a moment. “Well, if you don’t know when yours really is, it could be on the same day, couldn’t it?”

“You’re right, it could,” Sephiroth replied, brightening again.

“See, that’s the thing about fate,” she said sagely. “The heavens can only arrange things for you, so far. It’s up to you what you do about it. So, even if your real birthday isn’t on the same day as that handsome man of yours, you can decide you’re fated to be together, and make it happen, yourself.” She leaned in closer and lowered her voice. “Also, take an old auntie’s advice, make him marry you sooner rather than later. Men that good looking have a way of escaping their fate, if you get my drift.”

As her words sunk in, Sephiroth’s eyes went wide and he blushed like a rose. He had just opened his mouth to make a sputtering correction, when several things happened.

First, the shop door jingled, then a young woman’s voice called out “Cloudy! Cloudy, get back here! Don’t run off like—”

Then there was a thud, against Sephiroth’s leg. He looked down, to see a tiny, golden-haired boy, of no more than five or six. He had slammed directly into Sephiroth’s person, bounced off him like a wall, and was in the act of sprawling backward, toward the floor.

Faster than sight, Sephiroth appeared behind the child and caught him in his arms, preventing him taking a rather nasty spill, and likely cracking his little head on the hard tile.

“Oh—oh no! I am so sorry!” the mother, a beautiful blonde girl, not much more than a teenager herself, exclaimed, hurrying over. “He ran right into you, didn’t he. He was so excited for treats, and he just got away from me. I can’t thank you enough for catching him, though, how did you even do that?”

“It was nothing, ma’am,” Sephiroth said courteously, as he set the boy down on his feet. “I have very quick reflexes. I’m just glad the child isn’t hurt.”

“Well, he should know better than to go running off like a little maniac,” she chided, putting her hands on her hips. “Cloud, what do we say?”

Sephiroth looked down at the boy again, only to find the biggest, bluest eyes he’d ever seen, looking back up at him. He was almost startled by how beautiful they were. The boy was tugging his hand with both of his, as if to pull him down. Fascinated, Sephiroth crouched on the floor, to be on his eye level.

There was a very light, almost invisible spray of freckles across the bridge of the boy’s button nose. His eyelashes were long and thick, and his mouth was an adorably pink cupid's bow. How was it possible for a child to be so perfect and doll-like? He’d never known any small children, but he’d seen many around town, and he was certain none of them were this pretty. 

“I’m…sorry,” the little voice said, shyly.

Then, to the older boy’s bewilderment, two small arms were flung around his neck. He—a superhuman weapon, so dangerous that the manor had emergency protocols in place, in the event of him losing his temper—was being hugged, by this tiny, human child.

After a beat of hesitation, Sephiroth returned the embrace, holding the boy ever so gingerly, to avoid hurting him. He had never been so close to a child, before, and he’d certainly never hugged one. This one was so small and soft, and painfully fragile in his arms. Like a newborn baby animal. Or a little wisp of cloud, just like the rather whimsical name his youthful mother had given him.

For a moment or two, Cloud’s head rested on Sephiroth’s shoulder, and their gold and silver hair were mingled together, glimmering in the afternoon sunlight, that was pouring in the shop windows.

The boy wriggled out of the embrace, but he didn’t retreat, and Sephiroth didn’t stand up. They remained just as they were, gazing intently at one another, spellbound by each other, for different reasons. Sephiroth, because he could hardly believe something so good and pure and gentle could truly exist in the ugly, brutal world that he knew; and little Cloud because Sephiroth was stunningly beautiful, to the point that he was seriously contemplating the possibility that the older boy was some kind of angel.

Sephiroth couldn’t resist the compulsion, anymore, and reached out to pet the boy’s fluffy, golden hair. At the same time, the boy reached out to touch Sephiroth’s collar-length silver hair.

“Why’s your hairs so long?” Cloud asked, unnecessarily pluralizing the collective noun.

“Because I like it that way,” Sephiroth answered.

“But you’re a boy,” Cloud objected.

Sephiroth, who’d been raised among a lot of men with long hair, not the least among whom was Vincent, had never heard such a sentiment, before. He looked puzzled. “What does being a boy have to do with long hair?”

Cloud balked, clearly unprepared for this riposte. “Uh…”

Seeing him flailing, Sephiroth threw out a lifeline. “Do you dislike my hair?”

Cloud stroked the silver locks with the tips of his little fingers, then shook his head, bashfully lowering his eyes. “It’s…it’s pretty. I like it.”

During this time, the boy’s mother had been apologizing to the baker, who she called Marielle and was clearly on friendly terms with, for creating a disturbance, and now the two had begun making general chit chat. Hearing metallic footsteps approaching, Cloud looked up, to see Vincent, who had come over to see what the commotion was. The little boy gave a jolt of fright, and cowered behind Sephiroth.

“That’s my f—uh. My friend,” Sephiroth reassured him. “He looks scary, but he’s very kind. Is that young lady your mother? She is very pretty.”

Cloud nodded, but continued to chew his thumb anxiously, as he eyed the tall, red cloaked and black leather-clad vampire, who was now conversing in monosyllables with his mother.

“I haven’t had many sweets, before, so I don’t know much about them,” Sephiroth said, to divert his attention. “But if you tell me which is your favorite, I’ll buy it for you.”

“Chocolate chip cookie!” the boy proclaimed, losing all his timidity in his enthusiasm for his favorite treat.

Sephiroth allowed himself to be dragged to the pastry case, where Cloud selected a large, golden-brown cookie, spotted with big, glossy-dark chocolate chips. Sephiroth paid for it and handed it to the boy. Rather than digging right in, however, Cloud carefully broke the cookie in two, and offered the larger half to his new friend.

Sephiroth had already had a chocolate chip cookie, when he and Vincent first arrived, but he accepted graciously, not wanting to meet the child’s guileless generosity with coldness. Then, as if they had been friends for years, the two seated themselves at a table, to eat their snack, in companionable silence.

Unsurprisingly, Cloud managed to get the gooey chocolate all over his fingers and mouth, in the process of consuming it. Unconsciously mirroring Vincent’s actions, that first day they met, Sephiroth fetched some napkins, and used them to patiently wipe the corners of the boy’s mouth, and clean his messy hands.

When he presented him to his mother, she was still chatting animatedly to Vincent, but unlike most women Sephiroth had seen talk to him, she seemed completely unaware of him as an attractive man. At the moment, she was going on about how smart and handsome her boy was, and how he was so much like his father, to the politely listening stranger, which made Sephiroth think she must be a little eccentric.

“Thank you again for being so kind to my little Cloudy boy,” she said, smiling affably at Sephiroth, as she took her son’s hand, and prepared to leave. “Been kinda rough on him, since his daddy went away. I never seen him take to anyone, like he seems to have taken to you.”

As Cloud followed his mother out the door, he kept looking back at Sephiroth, who smiled and waved his farewell.

“We’ll probably run into them again,” Vincent said, seeing his young charge gazing after the pair. “It’s a small town.”

“That boy, he seemed…” Sephiroth trailed off, not knowing how to describe the sensation he was experiencing, with regard to that child. He felt…familiar, somehow. No, that wasn’t the right word. Resonant, would have been closer, but he was afraid that wouldn’t make sense, if he said it out loud, so he kept it to himself.

He soon forgot all about the strange child and his gregarious mother, however, in his excitement about their imminent birthday celebration. The cake was an important component of it, of course, but even more important, was the fact that he had actually contrived to get Vincent a present, this year.

Since he couldn’t leave the manor without his bodyguard, it had taken quite a bit of doing, including coaxing and cajoling Shinra guards into acting as his clandestine couriers, and plenty of surreptitious correspondence with the local blacksmith. The result was worth all the trouble, though.

It was a beautifully custom-made thigh holster for Cerberus, in black full-grain leather, with silver buckles and embellishments, embossed with the Cerberus insignia, which Sephiroth had perfectly reproduced from memory, copied from the one on the gun’s stock.

He had never given anyone a gift, before, and he was practically buzzing with excitement, to see Vincent’s reaction. Moreso than for the cake or the birthday dinner, or even receiving a gift, himself.

The day before, just as they’d done the prior year, they picked up the cake they’d ordered. That night, after supper, they put on a puff piece documentary about the early life of President Shinra, for background noise, while they made a ‘Happy Birthday V and S’ banner from sheets of office paper, and then blew up balloons and taped them all over the walls.

Sephiroth fell asleep on the sofa, leaning on Vincent, which was a common occurrence, these days. Vincent wrapped his arm around the boy and kissed the top of his head, then rested his cheek on it. Despite their mutual captivity, and the constant, looming threat of separation, these days with Sephiroth had been the happiest of his life. If only everything could stay just like this, forever…he thought, before he drifted off, as well.

At some point during the night, Sephiroth woke in his bed. Seeing Vincent’s crimson eyes, glowing in the dark, he smiled and fell peacefully back asleep.

The next morning, he rose extra early and dug the already gift-wrapped holster from under his bed, which he placed on the dining table. Then he went to brush his teeth and get dressed. Vincent still hadn’t appeared, by the time he was dressed, but he’d got ready too quickly, in his excitement, so he wasn’t worried about it.

When the clock reached 7:05, however, he was beginning to get a sick, sinking feeling in his gut. Vincent was never late, unless he wasn’t coming. But he had to come today. He didn’t have a say in what missions they sent him on and when, but this was different. This was their birthday. He’d never miss their birthday…would he?

Just then there was a knock at the door. Overjoyed, Sephiroth leapt up and ran over to open it, with a bright smile on his angelic face.

“Vincent, I was beginning to think you—” He broke off and his smile vanished, as bitter disappointment washed over him. It wasn’t Vincent. It was two uniformed Shinra guards, to whom he was under no obligation to be polite. “What do you want?”

“Sorry to bother you, sir,” one of them answered timidly. “Professor Hojo wants to see you in his office, sir.”

The boy’s silver brows lowered. “What, right now? I was just going to breakfast.”

“Yes, sir. He said right now, sir,” the other guard confirmed, in a similarly cowed voice.

Sephiroth glanced anxiously back at the room, colorfully festooned with birthday decorations, then at Vincent’s gift, in the center of the dining table, wrapped in scarlet paper and wound with silver ribbon. It would be alright, he assured himself. Vincent would arrive while he was out, and he’d wait for him. After a reluctant beat, he nodded and followed the guards, out the door.

When he stepped back in the door, around an hour later, everything was exactly as he’d left it. Vincent’s gift was still sitting in the middle of the table, and the balloons and banner were still leering at him from the walls. Mocking his stupidity. Twisting the jagged blade in his heart.

Because Vincent wasn’t coming back.

Going to the refrigerator, Sephiroth pulled out the box with the cake in it, and walked calmly down the hall into the bathroom. Stiff and expressionless, he opened the box and plunged his hand into the center of the cake, destroying the birthday inscription and gutting it of its lemon-yellow filling and fluffy sponge layers. The messy wad of crushed cake fell into the toilet, with an absurd plop.

Vincent wasn’t coming back.

Moving mechanically, as if in a trance, he scooped the rest of cake into the toilet, handful by handful, till nothing was left on the silver cakeboard but some crumbs and streaks of white icing. Back in the living area, he stuffed the cake box in the garbage can, then looked dazedly around.

Vincent wasn’t coming back.

His pupils contracted to slits in his mako-green eyes. With a loud BANG, all the balloons they’d taped to the walls exploded. Simultaneously, the ‘Happy Birthday V & S’ banner burst into flame and burned away like flash paper, leaving nothing behind, but a few floating particles of black soot.  

Vincent wasn’t coming back.

Last, Sephiroth picked up the wrapped gift from the center of the table. His lip trembled and his eyes reddened, as he walked to the garbage can, with slow, heavy steps, like a funeral march, but he didn’t cry. He never cried.

Vincent wasn’t coming back.

He dropped the festively wrapped gift into the garbage can, with a heavy thunk. Then he took the garbage can and set it in the hallway, to remove the temptation to dig the thing back out and cling to it, for childish, sentimental reasons.

Vincent wasn’t coming back.

“Professor? Where is Vincent? He never arrived, this morning.”

The moment he’d entered the man’s office, Sephiroth had immediately sensed that something was afoot. There were two men in black suits, standing a little away near the window, and on the desk, in front of the chair he was not bidden to take, there was a very thick, blue folder.

“That bodyguard of yours?” the professor said, as if he were hardly familiar with the man. “His assignment has officially concluded. He won’t be coming back.”

Sephiroth’s heart stopped. “What do you mean, sir? It’s just—I wasn’t aware that his assignment had a termination date.”

“Eh? Oh, it’s all in the report, there. You can look at it, later.” The professor waved his hand carelessly. “The reason I’ve called you here today, is to inform you that this phase of your training is complete. Congratulations. First thing tomorrow morning, you’ll be accompanying me to Midgar, to Shinra headquarters, to make demonstration of your abilities, to the executive board.”

Sephiroth was only vaguely aware he was being spoken to, and hardly processed any of the words. He was staring at the thick folder in front of him, blood roaring in his ears.

“If they’re satisfied with your performance—which they will be—you’ll become the first SOLDIER, and the foundation of the entire SOLDIER program,” the old man went on, paying the boy no mind. “This is the culmination of everything we’ve been working toward, since you were born! It is finally time to prove to those fools that I am the most brilliant mind of my generation, and that you are the most superior product—er—warrior, in the world!”

Sephiroth continued to gaze blankly down at the folder.

The old man squinted at him, over the rims of his spectacles. “You’re finally getting a chance to show all the people who’ve invested so much in you, that the great effort and expense hasn’t been wasted. You don’t seem very enthusiastic.”

“It is my duty and honor to serve Shinra,” Sephiroth said, distractedly. “W—where did Vincent go? Where is he now?”

“Still worrying about him, are you?” the professor scoffed. “He shipped out this morning, before dawn. That report probably mentions his next assignment. Go ahead and take a look now, if you care so much. I thought you might like to review it, anyway.”

Sephiroth missed the malicious gleam in the old man’s eye, because he had never once looked up from the blue folder. Finally given permission, he opened it.

The first page stated that this file contained a full mission report, covering the period beginning the day Vincent was introduced to him in the training yard, up till yesterday’s date. It was signed by Special Security Agent Vincent Valentine.

With trembling hands, Sephiroth began to turn the pages. And there were many, many pages. It was more of a research journal, than a report, for its sheer length and thoroughness. Day by day, the report described Vincent and Sephiroth’s activities and interactions, in excruciating detail.

Reeling and bewildered, Sephiroth kept turning the pages, with increasingly blurred eyes and numb fingers. It also included an annotated calendar, which accounted for every hour of Agent Valentine’s time. Those occasions when he’d suddenly gone away, without notice, were all here. All the corresponding dates were marked in blue, as official leave. Requested by Agent Valentine and approved by Professor Hojo, weeks in advance.

Sephiroth’s fragile reality began to crack and come apart, splitting into disjointed fragments around him, as he stood there staring blankly through the paper.

Half of his brain screamed that this was all a fabrication. That it couldn’t be true. That Vincent would never—could never—do something like this.

But neither could he ignore the evidence, that was right here, staring him in the face. Almost three years of their lives—every training session, meal, trip to the armory, walk through town; every private conversation between them. Sephiroth’s moods, habits, likes and dislikes—a thousand little things that these people never could have found out.

Not unless Vincent had been reporting all of it, faithfully, every day. Which it seemed he had been. He had even reported their code phrase ‘chocolate chip cookies’ and what it meant.

The memo, written and signed by Vincent, himself, was the final blow that shattered Sephiroth’s heart. It was as concrete a statement of Vincent’s premeditated betrayal as one could desire. Proof positive of his cruelty and callousness, and his extreme facility with treachery and manipulation.

Memorandum Adressed to: Professor Hojo, Science and Research Division From: Special Security Agent Vincent Valentine Date: [REDACTED] RE: Handling of Asset S Professor, with regard to your earlier inquiry: the use of a modified form of Stockholm Syndrome, to gain a subject’s trust, thus making them more compliant and less likely to cause disruptions and/or attempt escape, is well documented. If implemented properly, I believe this strategy will be of use in handling Asset S. Should I accept this assignment, I propose to employ the method as such: First, I will present myself as having suffered at the hands of Shinra’s scientists, through hints and suggestions, implying that I am under duress and cannot speak openly (my physical abnormalities will lend plausibility to this story). This will create a sense of camaraderie in the asset, as he will believe we have a so-called ‘common enemy.’ Second, I will show the asset special favor, shield him from mistreatment by other Shinra staff, obtain previously denied privileges for him, and create secrets to share between him and myself, thus forging an emotional bond with him. The asset will gradually come to trust me, and to think of me as a safe person, with whom he can let down his guard. Once this bond is cemented, he should become far less prone to violent outbursts, and I should be able to exert a high level of control over his behavior. I will continue to monitor his psychological stability, for the duration. As for the results, they are not guaranteed, but I am optimistic, based on previous results, obtained with inmates and prisoners of war. Regarding my transfer conditions, I thank you for your kind offer, but at this time, I will not accept a permanent posting at Shinra Manor. When my work with the asset is complete, I intend to resume my previous post, as it will keep me closer to home, and to my fiancée, Lucrecia. I look forward to working with you. Signed: Special Security Agent Vincent Valentine

Sephiroth shut the file gently, almost reverently, as if it were the lid of a loved one’s casket.

So…that was that. The dream was over.

Vincent was the only person he had ever loved. The only person who had ever loved him—or so he’d thought. But it was all an act, put on in order to control him, like circus animal. Vincent was simply another grindstone, used to hone him into the hero they’d been telling him he had to be, since he was born.

“I thought making full disclosure to you, of his mission parameters, would be less cruel than allowing you to pine after him, believing he was really your friend,” the professor said, with poorly affected sympathy. “Of course, you understand why having someone to keep you under control was necessary. You have destroyed Shinra property and killed staff members, on too many occasions. And you must admit, his method has been very effective. You had only one incident, in the past three years.”

Sephiroth lifted his head slowly, and looked him in the eye. “Professor, is Vincent Valentine my father?”

The old man actually looked taken aback. “Eh? Your father? What makes you ask such a thing?”

“Just…a feeling.”

“Hmph. A feeling,” he snorted. “If he was your father, would he have left you with Gast, who couldn’t handle you, and then ignored your existence till you were eleven years old? And then return suddenly, only to keep you under control, before casually abandoning you again?”

“He might. If he was under some type of duress, which forced him to comply.”

“Well, he’s not your father, so you can dismiss any such foolish ideas from your head. He’s just another guard dog. He’s gone back to the Turks and his woman, and he’s probably already forgotten all about you. I suggest you forget about him, too.”

“His woman. Lucrecia.” Sephiroth affected a thoughtful frown. “I heard someone mention a Lucrecia Crescent, who was a scientist here, once. That wouldn’t be the same—”

His sentence was cut short by a ringing, openhanded slap across his face.

“Shut your impertinent mouth!” the professor roared, suddenly, irrationally furious. “How dare you pry into matters that are none of your concern! There is no Lucrecia here, and there never was! If I find out who has been spreading about such useless nonsense, I’ll cut out their fucking tongues!”

Sephiroth lowered his head, blinking against the stinging in his eyes. The man had done so many things to him, that had all been ten thousand times more painful, but something about the slap in the face, made him suddenly feel small and ashamed, and totally helpless. Like he was still just a little boy, at the mercy of all these cruel adults.

Stomach turning with fear and resentment and humiliation, he forced himself to take some deep, calming breaths. When he looked up again, he was wearing a placid half-smile, that did not touch his eyes.

“Thank you for correcting me, professor,” he said evenly. “I apologize for overstepping. I look forward to our trip to Midgar, tomorrow. I have heard a lot about it, and have always wanted to see the city, for myself.”

The professor eyed him warily, as if he were a bomb that was about to go off, then he turned away, with another derisive snort. “Yes, the big city. You won’t be seeing much of it, aside from the Shinra Building, so get a good look from the helicopter. Be on the landing pad at 0800. That’s all. You’re dismissed.”

He’s not your father.

That was still echoing in his mind, while he washed his hands of the sticky cake mess, staring into the mirror, at a creature who was not child, not a person, not a living, breathing human being, to anyone in the world.

He’d always known he was only an asset, to the Shinra people. But he had truly believed Vincent was not like the rest of them. The crushing weight of agony was finally so overwhelming, that he had to lean on the sink, to avoid collapsing on the bathroom floor.

They could all use him, lie to him, treat him like a thing, but not Vincent. Please, not Vincent. Not the strange, sad, scarlet-eyed vampire, who had arrived intending to kill him, and fell in love with him, instead.

Not the man who had thrown his lunch into the toilet, and taught him to eat spaghetti. Not the man who would doze off watching movies with him, and faithfully wake up to carry him to bed and tuck him in, every time.

Not the man who called him Seph, and shared his birthday with him, and claimed to love him just a little more than chocolate chip cookies, and kissed his head, when he believed he was asleep.

The Vincent who wrote that report, was not his Vincent. But…only his Vincent could have written it. Because he had been the only one who’d ever gotten close enough. 

“Little fool. Are you going to cry, now?”

Sephiroth gave a start and looked up quickly, half expecting to see someone standing behind him in the mirror. Of course, there was no one there. What the hell was that? He would have sworn he’d heard a voice, but…it wasn’t like someone speaking aloud. It seemed to have come from outside himself, but also he only heard it inside his head.

For the sake of due diligence, he searched the suite of rooms in its entirety, and found nothing. It must have been a stress-induced auditory hallucination. He’d heard of plenty of people who’d had those. It wasn’t an uncommon phenomenon.

He turned around to go back to the bathroom, and almost ran face-first into a man’s bare chest. Or rather, nearly bare. The leather straps of a harness stretched across his impressive pectorals in an x shape, and over that, was a long, black leather coat, with white pauldrons.

He was so tall, Sephiroth had to tilt his head back to look up at him. At least half a foot taller than Vincent, who was already over six feet. His hair was long and worn loose, so it fell freely about his face, and cascaded down his back, and it was the same exact silver color as Sephiroth’s. His eyes were the same blue-green, too, with those telltale catlike pupil-slits.  

His first thought was that he'd had it all wrong, and this man must be his father. Rage instantly welled up in him, so potent that he could feel the flames sparking in his palms. If this bastard was his father, Sephiroth was going to kill him or die trying.

“Who are you?” he demanded, squaring his shoulders and standing as tall as he could.  

The man gave a mocking little half-smile. “Who are you?”

Sephiroth blinked. “Wait…why doesn’t your mouth move, when you talk? Are you real?”

As he asked this, he stuck out a hand to touch the man’s chest. It looked solid enough, but Sephiroth’s fingers went straight through, with no resistance, as if the man wasn’t there. However, a split second later, the man’s black-gloved hand caught his wrist in an iron grip, and he was holding him fast, gazing down at him, from eyes identical to his own, with an expression that looked like mingled pity and disdain, on his coldly beautiful face.

“What do you want? Why are you in my room?” Sephiroth growled, trying in vain to twist out of his grasp. “H—how are you so strong?”

“Must I really spell it out for you?” the man’s voice said, inside Sephiroth’s head, with a forbearing sigh. “I had hoped to find I wasn’t quite so stupid as I recall being, at that age. But alas, my memory is as accurate as ever.”

“Are you saying that you’re—” The man silenced him, laying his index finger on his lips, then tapped his forehead. Sephiroth closed his mouth, and tried speaking in his head. To his surprise, it worked. “Are you me?”

“You’re a quick study, at least,” the man replied, the same way. “Please excuse the theatrics, but you never know who is listening. I, however, know precisely who is listening. But I suppose I should introduce myself.” He dipped his chin regally. “I am you, as you surmised. From eleven years in the future.”

Sephiroth scowled. “I don’t believe you. Time travel is entirely theoretical, it isn’t actually possible.”

“Not for anyone else,” his older self answered, finally letting go of him. “It is for us. But there are rules. And the costs…are tremendous. I paid with my life, for this one chance, not even knowing for certain that it would work. Fortunately for us, it appears that it did.”

“You paid with your life?” Sephiroth asked, chafing his bruised wrist. “What do you mean?”

“This form you see is a manifestation of my will.” He was walking about the place, now, looking at everything with a wistful expression. “Physically, I am dead. Which, I regret to inform you, means that eleven years from now, you will also be dead. That is, unless you do as I say. If you cooperate with me, we still have a chance to set things right. A chance at vengeance.”

“Dead? How?” Sephiroth asked, alarmed. “What happened? Who killed me?”

The older version turned to him and smiled eerily. “Who else? Vincent Valentine.”

THE AUTHOR HAS SOMETHING TO SAY baker: fate blah blah blah fate fate: WOE, BABY CLOUD BE UPON YE

prev chapter

[ratwife77]

new chapter is up :D

It’s on ao3 but you can read below the cut too, here is the link to the first chapter

(and really quick, ao3 chapter is subject to change with different improvements, I will not update tumblr)

Also, harassment of the girls is in this one so TW for that

Entering and sitting right in front of the concessions stand, we watched the movie, Ponyboy as engrossed as always. Captured in the movie, he was out of reach, in a way. Dally had other plans, eyeing two girls sitting ahead of us, looking predatory. It was the kind of look that made my skin crawl some, because I knew he was better than that. He’d taken the blame for Two-Bit, once, getting in the cooler for smashing windows. Sometimes, I wondered how he got his kicks from that. I knew he got to brag about his rap sheet, but what did it even matter? Looking ahead, my thoughts went back to the two girls. One had long red hair, standing out compared to her friend who had black, short hair. Neither of them looked bad, but I would never make a move like I knew Dally would. As soon as he opened his mouth, I knew nothing good would come of it, so I made a hasty exit. Using an excuse, I began, “I’m gonna go get a Coke, do either of you want something?” Dal wasn’t deterred from the girls, as expected, but Pone just sat there, looking mighty uncomfortable. Dally only gave a simple, “No.” Ears turning a brighter shade of red than the girl’s hair, which would’ve been funny if I wasn’t feeling just as out of place, Pone just responded, “I’m good, thanks.” In the dark area, it was difficult to walk around without tripping, but I made my way to the stand carefully. Slowly, I pretended to look over what they had, trying to buy time until I had to go back. Silently cursing myself for my stupid, completely lousy excuse, I weighed my options. Should I get a Coke, actually? Realizing that I was getting too frustrated over my own indecisiveness, I just went with Coke. It bothered me that I couldn’t even make such a simple decision. I always seemed to get stuck on little things like that, and I couldn’t stop the thoughts that came with that. Grating on my mind, I always think of embarrassing stuff. I had wasted enough time, so I walked back, noticing Dally gone. “Hi,” I greeted the girls nervously, but looked back to Pony, asking “Where’d he go?” “He went to the concession stand right after you.” “Oh. Thanks, Pone.” Looking back at the movie, I didn’t watch for long before Dal had come back. Dal came back with some Cokes, handing one to Cherry with a large grin on his face. Angry, she threw it at him, and he wiped it off his face with a dangerous look. “Fiery, huh? Well, that's the way I like 'em.” He started to put his arm around her, but I reached over, stopping him without a thought. I said, “Leave her alone, Dally.” I’d gone pale, my hands were shaking, and I was sweating bullets. “Huh?” I took a large gulp, preparing myself to speak, though I’d never truly be ready. But the world doesn’t wait, it always keeps on turning. Going ahead anyway, I knew what I needed to do, somewhere deep down. “You heard me. Leave her alone.” With my heart hammering, I knew, I knew, I knew. I had messed everything up, I was sure of it. Scowling, he seemed to consider me. Looked back at Cherry, too. I knew he could pack a mean punch when he wanted to, but his eyes stopped being so icy for less than a second. He’d never admit it, and I’m not sure he even knew, but he did that, I swear. Rarely, he’d do it with the gang, sometimes the Shepards. New York had made him.. less open, as far as I know, but I couldn’t know exactly why he had his guard up all the time. Why he treated girls that way. While I was thinking, something seemed to register, and he looked down, then up again. Slowly, he turned around and stalked off, not even doing anything. My breath had been getting a little too fast, and I felt a little dizzy, but I’d managed.

[katcadecascade]

If you believe the lies I tell (Snowjanus fic Chapter Six)

Ao3

Tumblr Chapter Index

Chapter Six: Croissants

Word Count: 4,583

Festus takes up Sejanus’ role in bothering Coriolanus Snow with food. 

He’s much, much more terrible because he does it in public. Festus is a very open and loud person, always draws a crowd in even if there are backstabbers amongst them. To why he started sharing baked goods like they’re back in primary school, he shrugs it off with a smile. Festus is being spontaneous and goofy, always friendly to his peers. No one bats an eye because it’s clear what his intentions are.

Persephone Price.

He has been a lovesick fool for the pretty girl since their playground days. It’s easy to fall for Persephone, believing that she can do no wrong. But Coriolanus knows otherwise, he knows of a cold day where families desperately needed food. 

If Festus knew, would he still pursue her? Do all of this to impress her? 

Depends how lovestruck the fool is but he’s also doing this to mess with Coriolanus’ life. 

“So, first Sejanus and now Festus.”

Clemensia is smarter than most to suspect something. Then again, she’s the only one to know this pattern links him in the middle. 

“They’re friends now,” he explains scornfully. “Sejanus must have told Festus to annoy me.”

“By annoy, do you mean give you food?” He glares at her. “Oh come on, Coriolanus, this isn’t the worst courting an alpha can do. A little strange, definitely not traditional, but not terrible.”

“It’s not courting, it’s Sejanus putting himself on the stupid moral high ground or feeding his alpha pride or-“

“Or none of the above.”

Like the day before, Festus arrives at the school’s main lobby to deliver snacks to his classmates, starting with Coriolanus Snow. 

“Good morning Festus,” Clemensia greets with fake joy, which is more platitude than Coriolanus is willing to do. 

“Clemensia, Coriolanus,” Festus nods with all the manners his parents hoped he would ever use, “I see we’re talking about my baking instructor. Wanna try these croissants?”

The exaggerated accent alone would’ve made Coriolanus barf but there is nothing in his stomach to puke. Festus presents him a warm, buttery pastry where chocolate melts between the layers. 

“You actually made this?” Clemensia is genuinely awed, examining it a little too closely.

Just seeing her moving in on his food has Coriolanus possessively taking the croissant and getting a bite in. 

True to the smell, it’s rich and light and Coriolanus has to force himself to eat it calmly. 

“It’s good,” he admits with disdain. 

“Cool, I didn’t make it.” Festus winks at him. 

Lowly, Coriolanus whispers, “I will smear this all over your uniform.” 

Matching him, Festus whispers back, “Imagine doing that to Sejanus’ face.”

“Again, I think this is the strangest flirting I’ve seen,” Clemensia, not whispering, had to push the boys away from each other. She turns to Festus and demands, “Why are you doing all of this?”

Festus has the decency to glance around cautiously. The lobby is full of students chatting or preparing before classes start. There is this type of privacy in a crowd, everyone in their own worlds until someone else’s drama gets eye catching. 

“Okay, the ones without chocolate, I did make. That one? All him, but I haven’t told him that I’ve been giving them to you. I figured I could do something nice for the both of you.”

Coriolanus does not buy into any of this, none of it makes sense. These two alphas are either too nice for their own good or they are killing him with kindness. 

“How kind of you, Festus,” He said seriously with a bit of grit. “You can stop being oh so kind now.”

He hates the look Festus and Clemensia share, displeased at his attitude, as if he’s being ungrateful. That’s utterly wrong, he has never asked for anything from these people. Coriolanus never showed them any opportunity to get any sort of power over him. Only Sejanus caught him with so much bad luck. 

Festus will never understand, proven by how he defends himself, “Look, Coriolanus, I’m only meddling because Sejanus promised to be gone for the week. He didn’t deserve that and he actually likes you.” 

“No he doesn’t, he likes thinking he’s doing a good thing.” Coriolanus took a page out of Festus’ book and poked the alpha in the chest, “Now, it’s you thinking you’re doing something nice. None of this is actually for me.” 

Much like Sejanus, Festus stares at him with big sad eyes. It's unbearable. “Is that what you really think?”

“There’s no other reason,” Coriolanus glares at him, daring him to spew more self-flatteries. “Why would he possibly like me?” 

Coriolanus regrets asking that question out loud, it makes him sound so pitiful and heartbroken. More than that, it makes him genuinely curious as to why Sejanus Plinth is doing all of this. 

It could be an attraction but Coriolanus denies it. No, the only conclusion he could think of is that Sejanus is doing this to feel like every other alpha in this school. Trying to date someone out of the need to feel loved. 

“You’ll have to ask him that, Coriolanus,” Clemensia said. “You won’t be convinced by us.” 

Us, she says, like there’s already a division between him and the closest person he calls a friend. 

He shifts his glare on to her, betrayed, “You’re on his side now?” 

“No, that’s not what I meant. Coriolanus, I know you’re a very private person but it must be important that someone finally caught your eye. Many others would try to date you but you never gave them the time of day.”

“Oh so it’s my fault?” He snaps. 

“I mean, kind of.” Festus shrugs, “I guess it’s mostly the scent blockers.”

He quickly pushes the confusion off his face and says, “I use scent blockers to contain my scent, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Seeing how Festus’ bluntness isn’t helping, Clemensia explains clearly, “That’s true but it also means you have a hard time reading scents. Coriolanus, a lot of people do like you but never gotten any signal back so they left you alone.”

His frustrations are genuinely paused at that. Anything involving their dynamics and scents, he doesn’t acknowledge it beyond his family. Ever since it became a free commodity provided by the school, he takes scent blockers on the daily. It’s just another armor piece. 

The only times he gives anyone’s scent any attention is if they are abrasive, like what Arachne once did. 

Yet the scent of nutmeg was always an afterthought, the signature at the end of a love letter. 

Coriolanus stares at the croissant still in his hands. 

“Sejanus hasn’t baked us anything since the first time we all met,” Festus gestured with his small basket of pastries. “He doesn’t like any of us. I begged him to teach me. He’s only ever been nice to you, Coriolanus.”

“No, he hasn't. He's needy and a pushover.”

“Only for you. Think about it.”

He tries. It’s not easy to recall every moment of Sejanus because he’s always blurred in the background of Coriolanus’ life. Sejanus stopped trying to make friends once he realized everyone was a pack of snakes and wolves. Yet Coriolanus’ tolerance over the District boy never passed a threshold of hostility. He’d figured that his enemies should pick fights with each other and leave himself out of the bloodshed. 

So Coriolanus spared Sejanus of additional torment. Not quite a saint’s act, but surely that cannot be viewed as romantic. That would be pathetic and stupid. Yet Sejanus never actually criticized Coriolanus like their narcissistic peers, nor appeared as bothered to be around Coriolanus than the rest. Sejanus Plinth may see them all as bullies but only because they saw him as an enemy first. 

He would never give them any sort of kindness, but for Coriolanus specifically, some things come to mind. 

One of his many arguments with Arachne, Coriolanus can’t remember what it was over, but Coriolanus said something that made her red in the face but made their classmates laugh. Sejanus’ laughter was in his ears for hours. 

A quiet day in the library. They were studying at different tables, he wasn’t even in Sejanus’ line of sight. Absent-mindedly, Sejanus started to hum. A slow melody that didn’t annoy Coriolanus at all. Instead it lulled him to sleep. He woke up alone, feeling colder than ever. 

The first time Sejanus came to school after presenting. Before Coriolanus knew the smell of nutmeg belonged to Sejanus Plinth, he spent the whole day dreaming of pumpkin pies and warm coffee. 

Coriolanus realizes that these are not anecdotes that prove Festus and Clemensia right. Instead it’s precious memories where he noticed Sejanus, wanting to notice him. They weren’t the type of gifts to hold but the kind to experience. 

He’s so stunned by this revelation that he barely notices when Persephone Price enters their little circle. 

“Hello everyone,” She greets and smiles at her friend. “Festus, I found you.” 

“Hooray, you found me,” He gives Coriolanus a nervous glance before giving Persephone his complete attention, “I bought croissants today, Percy.”

“Don’t you mean croissants, hmm?”

Their wholesome joy knocks Coriolanus out of his own wholesome thoughts of Sejanus. He groaned out loud from all the mental gymnastics he put himself in. 

To no one or everyone, Coriolanus begs, “Kill me. End my suffering.”

Clemensia pats his shoulder, “I think we had a breakthrough.” 

He nearly jumps when Persephone smiles at him. 

All he sees is a body covered in snow and a hatchet swinging down. It was her father that did it but Coriolanus cannot erase the threads of thoughts linking it all to her and her pretty face. He and Persephone are one of the skinniest in class. A certain amount of weariness clings to their bones, no matter if they manage to eat. 

“Oh is that chocolate?” 

Coriolanus dumbly holds it up, “Yes, it is.” 

Thankfully, she turns away from him and Festus instantly has her attention with his baked goods. 

“I made the buttery ones,” he says proudly.

“Croissants are all buttery ones,” she picks one of Festus’ and takes a bite. “It's really soft.” She flips it over and pokes the underside, “I think the butter melted through.” 

Festus blinks, “Is that bad?”

“No, it’s still good. Hey, why don’t we go get some fruit before class?” 

With a wave goodbye, Coriolanus watches them walk away, wondering how easy they make this all is. Like there’s no complications in just talking with each other. 

Wealth and high status is something he can fake until it becomes real.

Trust is an entirely different concept. 

Somehow this simple, mundane thing is unachievable for Coriolanus Snow, something he cannot force upon himself to give to others. Yet some unknown part of him extends to Sejanus, without his notice or guard. 

“When did my life become a drama?”

“I’d say the moment you noticed Sejanus.”

How very true Clemensia’s words are as he finishes his chocolate croissant. He has to admit, what she said was an eye opener. 

Scent blockers do block out his perception of scents, that’s the intended effect. No one is drowning in scents that broadcasts surface level emotions. The very things that are radioactive in the warzone. The Capitol is in a time of peace, away from the dangers of feral natures. It’s why the pills are easily accessible at the nurse’s office. 

Coriolanus never saw them as a problem. He doesn’t pay attention to scents in the first place.

Yet somewhere in his head, it chose to single out Sejanus. 

It’s not just some instinct from their dynamics, his laughter or sass is entirely his own. 

If that is true then his decision to give Coriolanus food is also his own.

It would be so much easier to chalk it all to their natures. 

An alpha is meant to defend, a beta is meant to support, and an omega is meant to protect. A cycle of shelter, of nesting into the barebones of community.

That is all a load of bull to Coriolanus Snow because he distrusts everyone he has ever known. He’s been fine without ever scent marking for any friends. Coriolanus knows the anticipating looks on his peers' faces, awaiting for any sign that he approves of them. It always bothered him, their annoying insistence that they needed a mark of their companionship. He was the omega that never initiated this type of tradition and eventually everyone stopped bothering him. They moved on with other friends who enjoyed scent marking. 

Only Clemensia was the one to stick around longer than any else. She didn’t give up on him, still trying to reach out to him, even by this day. 

“Why…” his hesitation is uncharacteristic, truly a sign that Coriolanus Snow is cracking. He shakes his head, determined to ask, “Clemensia, why is scenting so important to you?”

Clemensia has the gall to smile at him, almost appearing endeared. 

They’re once again at the library when school ends, in one of the private study rooms where Coriolanus feels hidden enough to ask such a basic question. 

“It makes me feel less lonely, like the world isn’t out to get me.”

“Oh.”

Coriolanus cannot imagine that feeling of peace. The universe is cruel and unfair, there’s no changing that unless there is absolute control. That those in power can enforce cruelty upon others to save themselves. 

It’s an extreme way of thinking. If he spoke it out loud, he’d be a paranoid madman. Maybe he truly is exactly that. 

Because ever since his mother died, Coriolanus Snow hasn’t known peace and comfort that lasts longer than a second. 

Any of that joy is immediately swallowed by envy or rage or despair. 

That is what he has learned from starvation. 

It’s what he cannot unlearn. 

“I know things haven’t been the same since the war ended. Most of us are pretending that we’re all back to normal, me included. Scent marking Lysistrata and my other friends just helps me feel better.”

She says it all so casually, like it’s something Coriolanus is also supposed to know. This is more proof that he’s different from his classmates, 

“I always thought scenting would be,” he’s tempted to be honest, say it's all a weakness, but he decides to say, “the opposite. It appeared so territorial and I didn’t want to be claimed as someone else’s.”

“It’s not as arbitrary as that,” she reassures, “I know that Lysie doesn’t have a claim or whatever over me. We’re comfortable where we are at. It’s nothing to be territorial about. More like little reminders of each other.” 

It’s similar to how Tigris described scents. Yet that was spoken with disdain, how Tigris was able to make it an emotionless transaction. 

Clemensia describes it all too mundane, something as easy as breathing. That it is like exchanging love letters. 

It’s all something Coriolanus would never imagine, nothing as peaceful as that is in his dictionary. He feels like a little kid again, unable to understand the world. The difference is that this era of the world is not as violent as it used to be. It could still kill him, nothing can truly starve his paranoia, but it all messes with his mind.  

For once he’s not angry, he’s hopelessly envious. 

Envy is starvation’s little pet, always there in the core of Coriolanus Snow. It’s a neglected tiny creature that he doesn’t want to acknowledge but it’s now here, eating up all of Clemensia’s words. 

She’s always been with him at school, mostly for their grades but Coriolanus slowly accepted that they are friends, even if he can never stop anticipating her betraying him. That hasn’t ever happened yet.

She has done teasing, prodding, and disagreeing with him so far, but Coriolanus can’t imagine a motive for her to ruin him. Clemensia goes beyond his cruel thoughts. It’s starting to wear down something inside of him. 

“Clemensia, I know that I’m not really being myself right now, but I really appreciate talking with you.” 

This is the most brutally honest he can be with her. He hopes that she knows it because he still is unwilling to tell her any of his real thoughts. 

She might leave him if she did. 

“Me too, I have never seen you so worked up for anyone.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, “I hate it. I hate all of this.”

“How so?”

“I feel out of control, helpless,” his throat feels dry, almost croaks out, “I’m tired from overthinking every bad thing in my life. I don’t think I’ve ever stopped to think about anything else.” 

Because the hunger pains are constant, the jealousy in every blink, and the anger in every breath. 

It’s a pathetic existence. 

He felt even more so when he recalled those memories of Sejanus. It wasn’t hunger taking over his body, it was depths of an emotion he doesn’t want to name. 

“Coriolanus,” her voice beacons him out of his clouded thoughts, “If you want to give scenting a chance, you can always ask me, and if you don’t like it, I’ll never bother you again.” Clemensia rests a hand on his shoulder. “But I think it could really help you.”

For the first time ever, he agrees, “Alright.”

Coriolanus knows how it’s supposed to go. It doesn’t stop him from feeling a bit uneasy when Clemensia scoots closer. Her hand remains on his shoulder but from his tiny nod, it moves up. 

She cups the base of his neck, warmth bleeding through his shirt collar. From his twitchiness, the hand remains there, not daring to pull the shirt down for skin contact. 

For betas like her, rubbing her wrist near his neck is a sign of trust, of companionship. This close up, he can’t ignore the scent of lavenders. A calming allure that does ease the tension in his muscles. 

It’s nothing powerful enough for pack bonding, just a faint wafting over his scent glands. All of it registers Clemensia Dovecote as a friend. 

“How do you feel?”

“Less tired, but the same.” She pulls her hand back but he gently catches it. “I still don’t fully understand it all, but thank you Clemensia.” 

Their fingers laced together, like they’re little kids on the playground. Clemensia smiles at him and he hopes he mistakes that glint in her eyes as pride. His ego wouldn’t handle one more pitiful face. Yet maybe those brown eyes from before weren’t full of pity. It’s hard for Coriolanus to recognize genuine emotions. 

“You don’t need to thank me. I’m just glad you’re actually considering it. I do care about you, Coriolanus Snow.”

She says it but it’s still hard to accept. A part of him wants to will away the doubts. The best he can do is push it aside, to deflect. 

“So, you and Lysistrata?”

He expects her to deny it, to be a hypocrite for all the teasing she put him through.  

Instead she has a small smile, “We’re taking things slow.”

“I didn’t,” he shakes his head, a bit stunned but mostly confused, “I mean I knew you liked girls but you just never mentioned her before.”

She shrugs, “I didn’t think you’d be interested in talking about dating. You’re not the most romantic person.”

Offended, he says impulsively, “I could be.”

“Yeah but do you want to be? It shouldn't be forced or be the product of a situation.”

“I guess I never found the right person.” Coriolanus reads her barely suppressed grin, the cusps of a teasing. “No, it’s still not Sejanus, I don’t want it to be.”

“Why not him?”

“Because Sejanus is… it’s Sejanus.” 

“Excellent argument, Coriolanus. You’ve won this debate.”

“Shut it. I still don’t like him.”

“You like his baking.”

“Semantics.” 

“But really, Coriolanus, forget the gifts, forget the Districts and the Capitol, and think. Does Sejanus Plinth matter to you?” 

He can’t answer that. Too many things spiral around his mind, from boiling wrath to caged fear, a dizzying conflict that’s been building since the moment he met the boy. 

This plagues him for the day. It’s a miracle that he’s home when his scent blockers wear off and it releases his distress into the cold air. 

Coriolanus never liked his own scent, it adds to the coldness, too sharp in the nose. The scent of lavenders is nearly gone, diminished by the weight of his stress. It’s no longer binding the little peace he gained from their conversation. His scent alone adds to his frustrations, all trying to answer that damning question. 

Tigris finds him pacing in his room. 

“Coryo, what’s wrong?”

His first instinct is to lie, to tell her that nothing is happening. Everything is normal while he is not. He’s about to build another wall in his head, lock up the thoughts that've been driving him insane. 

All sense of control is lost when Tigris reaches over and cups his face. Her scent of dewy grass, of meadows freshly rained upon, it clashes with his own. It doesn’t warm him but a cold sweat builds and clings on his skin. 

His thoughts are madness in his head, breaking out of his gritted teeth. 

“What’s wrong?” Coriolanus claws at his shirt, digging wrinkles around his heart. “I'm not the wealthy person Clemensia thinks I am. Or the high-standard snob Festus wants to joke with. Persephone?” A wheezy laugh escapes his dry throat. “I don’t want to know what she thinks of me because I only see the worst things in her.”

Tigris sees through him, smarter than he could ever imagine. 

She says the name he’s avoiding, breaking something within him, “And Sejanus?”

Coriolanus wants to pry away from her loving hands, something he doesn’t deserve. There are many things he does not deserve, certainly not gifts from the alpha. 

“I hate him,” Coriolanus repeats, “I hate how he knows me. Sejanus made this stupid bet knowing that I’ll win and I did.” He can’t stand the look in Tigris’ eyes, his gaze sets onto his drawer. “I made him go away. I’m terrible to him but…”

Does Sejanus Plinth matter to him? 

Yes, Sejanus does matter, but that’s not what’s running rampant in his head. 

“…I don’t understand how I matter to him.”

It’s the reverse of Clemensia's question. 

He couldn’t tell her the truth, that Sejanus has been feeding him small snacks. Each and every little food matters to him, it all means another day of survival. 

But Coriolanus pushed Sejanus away even with the consequences that he would end his charity. Sejanus would understand the power of his money, of his kindness, and how Coriolanus cannot pay that price. 

“He’s so kind that it’s pathetic but I rely on it.” Coriolanus shuts his eyes, needing to see darkness and not the reality of his world. “I couldn’t accept any more from him, Tigris. I’ll end up needing him. I won’t be able to let him go.”

The worst part is, Coriolanus thinks it’s already happening. 

He kept Sejanus’ little handkerchief next to his mother’s compact.

Nutmeg and roses can lull him to rest and haunt him throughout his wake. 

It feels worse than starving. 

Coriolanus knows what hunger feels like. It is a familiar entity that lives in him for years. 

Drained of energy and sanity, easy to lash out and be more of a mess. 

Starving isn’t about helplessness, it’s proof that you are unable to live. It’s dying a little bit more each day. Then out of pure spite and sheer will, force the body to eat at itself. Food won’t instantly heal him, it will only weigh down the spiderwebs in his stomach until they snap. Every bone and tissue of flesh will break down. 

The inevitability scares him. 

This body isn’t meant to survive, it can only be stalled. Coriolanus’s only way of survival is to distrust everyone outside his circle. He has never learned otherwise. Kindness is hard to swallow when pride bites at the hand that feeds. 

“I don’t want to depend on someone who can one day ruin me.”

It’s the loss of control of his own emotions, of owing pieces of himself to someone, of an endless debt he cannot climb out of.

“Coryo.” He feels Tigris lay her head on his collarbone, her hands sliding down to hold on his shoulders. “It’s okay to need things, to need others. I know you’re used to doing everything on your own. You had to lie to your friends about how we live, but they will still care about you. Has Sejanus ever done anything like you’ve feared?”

No. 

The daunting truth is that Sejanus Plinth has shown nothing but his best qualities. Coriolanus has pushed at him numerous times and Sejanus has only been gentle and compliant in return. 

Still, that can all end because of how much of a paranoid creature Coriolanus is. 

There is no such thing as having faith in others. 

Only an anxiety that corrupts his mind. It pins down everyone in sight as an enemy, a threat. Everyone except the woman before him. 

Coriolanus opens his eyes, overwhelmed by the pure love Tigris holds for him. 

“You matter to me, Coryo. Beyond money or food.” Her scent lingers over his neck, easing away the weighty sharpness of his own. “You can’t see how much you matter to Sejanus or your friends. I can’t speak for them but they gave you their scent and you kept it.”

Nutmeg and lavenders, the only scents he has ever accepted outside of his family. 

“I couldn’t ask for it,” Coriolanus feels stupid to admit it but it’s what’s real for him. “I couldn’t make myself ask because I didn't want to be close with anyone.”

But he can’t let them go.

It’s a possessiveness that’s under his skin. He doesn’t know if this is innate to all dynamics or it’s unique to his own control-seeking desperation. 

“I have to keep performing out there, Ti, make sure that no one hates me or likes me too much. I have to keep being at the top or else…”

It’s easy to imagine the endless starvation, how the cold invites itself into his bones. That is always his worst case scenario, thrusted back into his childhood nightmare of emptiness. With no chance of ever regaining a semblance of his former life.

He’ll end up all alone.

Tigris interprets his fears in a different light. 

“Is that why you’ve never had a heat? You don’t trust anyone?”

Heats, a burning sensation akin to a fever but ultimately a phase of utter peace and serenity. Scents get stronger, they emote so much love and tenderness that desires reciprocation. 

Omegas can only go into heat when they feel safe. 

Coriolanus Snow has never felt safe in his life. He doesn’t know if he ever will.

The usual excuses were on the tip of his tongue. That heats are a waste of time and energy. Simple as that. Life is better off if Coriolanus never knows what that type of warmth and vulnerability feels like. Besides, he never once had any nesting tendencies or any scents to make a nest. 

He thinks he has abbreviated those justifications to Tigris before, mostly to point out that they don’t have enough food to cover for it. 

But here in, shedding away his armor pieces, Coriolanus is honest to the person who protects him. 

“I don’t think I can.” 

It’s not shame or anger that sinks into him. Speaking those words out loud made Coriolanus painfully aware of how sad and pathetic he truly is. 

Arachne was right, he’s a terrible omega. 

He dares not cry at this revelation, no, he’s not that devastated but there is an emptiness craving inside of him. An apathy that is really fear in disguise, telling him that he’s incapable of love and trust. 

Tigris’ comfort does little to help, letting her scent overpower his own so that he can stop choking on it. 

-

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