#I wonder who can figure it out

[thefloatingwriter]

the victors as complex characters will always be more interesting than making them amazing people.

like these are people who did absolutely everything in their power to survive something as traumatic as the games. most of them probably sleep with weapons in their hands. the thought on the forefront of most of their minds is survival. everything else—anyone else—can wait.

they sacrificed everything to crawl out of a killing game. their mental stability. their innocence. their childhood.

and after all of that, they realized that the games never really end. that they would sacrifice ever having a good night sleep without being plagued by nightmares. they would sacrifice their brains to help the capitol. they would sacrifice their bodies, something that should have always been their own, now snatched away from them. all for surviving a killing match that twenty-three children didn’t.

no victor is immune to this either. do you think cashmere doesn’t regret being so excited to go into the games after her brother after staying the night in a strange man’s bed that she doesn’t know? do you think gloss doesn’t regret not warning his sister about the horrors that await her after she wins? do you think brutus doesn’t sometimes wake up in a cold sweat after having yet another nightmare about being on the receiving end of his weapon, just as all of his victims were before everything faded to black? do you think enobaria doesn’t run her tongue over her sharpened teeth and wonder if it was worth it?

do you think beetee doesn’t flinch every time he sees lightning? do you think wiress doesn’t think of how if she hadn’t learned acrobatics that the 48th hunger games would have gone very differently? do you think finnick doesn’t see nets in the same way ever again, after he saw the girl from nine begging for her life tangled in a net he set up before he stabbed her with a trident? do you think annie doesn’t think about if she hadn’t spent all of that time on the beach growing up, playing in the water, that she wouldn’t have survived the dam breaking in her arena? do you think mags doesn’t think about how she left her district partner to die in the first ever traditional career pack? how if maybe, if she had been there to take the blow for him, there would be a different victor of the 11th hunger games?

do you think that blight doesn’t wonder what would have happened if the boy from two had looked up a little bit sooner, looked a little bit closer at the treetops above him, before the knife previously in blight’s hand found it’s way to the boy’s back? do you think that every time johanna picks up an axe, she doesn’t think about what if felt like to stab someone with it, what blood felt like when it splattered you? do you think she doesn’t wake up in a sweat, thinking the moisture on her skin is blood, that she’s back in the third quarter quell? do you think she doesn’t ever walk into her house in the victor’s village and think she sees a glimpse, a shadow, of her lost loved ones?

do you think that woof doesn’t use real knives anymore because every time he sees one, he remembers how it felt to stab blindly at the boy from seven? that even when he was seventy-five and the male tribute from eight for the third quarter quell, he couldn’t even look at the utensil and had to get cecelia to take it away from him? do you think cecelia can’t look at seashells anymore, that she could barely stand district four on her victory tour, because the girl from four was her last kill? that her necklace, a pretty one her sister made for her with a seashell strung through the string, was what cecelia used to choke the life out of her?

do you think that chaff doesn’t ever feel the phantom feeling of his hand? doesn’t ever touch the stump where it used to be and feel the phantom pain of it being sawed off like it was yesterday, even thirty years later? do you think that seeder doesn’t ever feel the hot sun of her arena on her body, doesn’t ever think she’s back, waiting for her death to come?

do you think that haymitch doesn’t start shaking every time a blowgun is provided at the cornucopia? do you think that he didn’t see the gold pin on katniss’ arena wear and have to sit down, remembering a very different girl with blonde hair and a quick witted humor with the same pin? do you think that peeta doesn’t hear foxface’s voice during her interview, over and over and over, until it’s so distorted he can’t even remember what she had actually said? that he doesn’t ever think of the girl from eight, a girl he might not have even known the name of?

do you think that, years down the line, katniss doesn’t realize the fate that waited for glimmer if she had won? do you think that she doesn’t wonder what would have happened if cato was a little quicker to get to the cornucopia to save clove? do you think she doesn’t wonder what the girl from four was like, what her name was, what her parents were like, what she was like? do you think that she doesn’t think about what would have happened if marvel was just a little bit quicker with his spear than her with her arrows, what would have happened if she was just a little bit slower to get to rue?

the what-ifs plague them. their games will never leave them. they will never escape their experiences. their lives will never be their own, if they ever were, ever again.

[baejax-the-great]

My brother died very suddenly yesterday.

He was the kind of person who always had dozens and dozens of friends everywhere he went because he was easy to talk to and funny and treated people with respect, and his friends ranged in class, race, age, social ability, introversion and extroversion--no matter who you were, he could and would befriend you.

He would scold me for not asking him for help when I needed it, and he would mean it. He taught me to tip well. He loved helping people. He played practical jokes on the new kids at work, including getting one guy to "chop flour" because the flour they had in the kitchen was "too coarse."

He introduced me to some of the best food I've ever eaten in my life. He would always help with a recipe that wasn't working. He would tell me what to buy my foodie friends for their birthdays, and he never got it wrong. He loved meat and whiskey but also wine and fruit and he got me to eat beets even because he knew how to make anything good.

Mostly, he thought that people were all deserving of respect and decency. He was outspoken on this. For all that his friends ranged across demographics, he didn't tolerate anyone being hateful around him. But even then, he was nice about it. He would try to get people to come around to his side. He saw the good in people.

And he was happy. He had finally quit chewing tobacco and managed to stay off it for three years. He had a girlfriend he really liked. The pandemic had put him out of work for over a year, but he was back at his job and doing well and he liked it. He was good at it. And it's complete bullshit that he's gone.

[hecksupremechips]

Thinking of vlr Akane is so conflicting cuz on one hand I’m so upset that she doesn’t ever get a moment to just rest and enjoy being alive again I’m upset that she just gets deeper and deeper into this role she’s built for herself and she loses her humanity and will never ever be that girl who died in the incinerator. But on the other hand, I need her to get so, so much worse I need her to be so obsessed with perfection she has this unique ability to change the course of history and she will burn everything and everyone to the ground in the blink of an eye if it means she can "reset" and get a perfect timeline and I desperately need her to never be satisfied with anything because really, is there anything that’s worth all the damage she’s caused?

[little-pondhead]

Oops.

While learning to control his powers under the guidance of Clockwork, Danny accidentally curses his own bloodline with the Curse of Sentient Food several centuries in the past. Originally, a witch was supposed to curse his family. Oops. Well, the Fentons were always adapting, and technically, either way, he'd end up battling dino nuggets at three am in his underwear, no matter who the curse came from. So he shrugged and continued on.

Unfortunately, this also means that out of nowhere, the timeline shifted, and some of his very distant relatives are now battling their food into submission at every meal because Danny is ultimately way more powerful than some mortal witch from the 1600s. His version of the curse reached literally everyone he could ever be related to for the last few centuries. Even if they were adopted into the family!

So, returning to the present time after training, Danny is a little startled to see some news clips of people's dinners coming to life and beginning revolutions. Wow, John Fentonightingale really got around, didn't he? He felt a little uncomfortable that now all these random people had to deal with their share of Fenton luck, but from some of the interviews, everyone seemed to be handling it pretty well!

Especially his so-distant-they're-on-another-tree cousins, the Kents, who contacted his family directly, asking how best to prepare a zombie turkey. Their son was coming for Thanksgiving with his new wife and some coworkers, and they just refused to make the guests fight for their lives on a holiday!

They invited the Fentons to join them, of course.

[tornrose24]

So given  @artistcaptainbendy and I’s fondness for Resident Evil Village, it was inevitable we’d get excited about an AU where /Scratch/Todd was a lord in an ‘RE Village AU, but its various Disney animated show characters instead in the weirdest choice for a crossover.’' (And if that gives you a scare, the version we have been playing around with is more PG compared to the source material, and maybe just a bit more ridiculous). There was fun to be had over the idea of him appearing as a ghost because of his specific abilities and he then ended up secretly befriending Molly–a random village girl who has no clue who he actually is.

And in typical fashion, that also included angst.

I wasn’t joking about the angst! This kind of story wasn’t going to be angst-free given what its based on. (Yes, I'm an awful person.)

Anyway, if anyone shows interest/needs more context, I’ll gladly share the basic outline of the story to you guys.

[somegrumpynerd]

Time for a new toy!

Camera stayed ahead pretty much all week, so tomorrow there will be a camera in the garden!

So now...

("Nothing" option will still attract a cat!)

[fortune-maiden]

My takeaway from today's dungeon meshi episode:

This NEEDS to be a new fic trope!

[cyten0]

A Symphony in Crimson

Act 1: A Movement in Black

Chapter 8

✸ “Welcome back stardust! So, how can I help you this time?”

✦ “Hm… Let’s see… So, I assume you saw the chat with the king?”

✸ “Of course! Always keeping an eye on things~ Sadly, I’m afraid I’m drawing a bit of a blank on anything about Wishcraft! Well, besides that term.”

Ugh, just talking about it hurts your head a bit. But it’s critical information, so you endure.

✦ “Right. I guess it’s a way to… Craft wishes? But that’s about it. Harder I try, more it pushes back.”

✸ “Right, so that just leaves either seeing if we can’t spark that memory somehow, or find information on it! Both seem tricky, but not impossible~”

✦ “Guess talking more with the king could help with that first angle. He wants to remember for his own reasons.”

✸ “True! Just make sure he doesn’t find out about you! Wouldn’t want him dropping your secret, now would we?”

✦ “I’ll be careful. Oh, on a side note, you mentioned something strange earlier?”

✸ “Yes! Thank you for remembering~ So far, you’ve looped for two reasons. Dying, or talking to the head Housemaiden. Until just a bit ago! When Odile found you, You didn’t die.”

Huh?!? Wait, they're right, you didn’t!

✸ “Once is an outlier, twice is something to investigate! If death isn’t the only reason you loop, then finding out the other reason, or reasons, seems rather important, wouldn’t you agree? It’s just a theory right now though, so if you have any ideas...”

Wait, there was one other point that almost was one, you think.

✦ “When Isa confronted me, I nearly looped that way too.”

✸ “Oh! Now isn’t THAT some juicy data! Hm… Well, The Head Housemaiden doesn’t seem like she found you out, but it’s worth keeping an eye on. I’ll keep theorycrafting and see if I have any ideas. Meanwhile, feel free to help your friends! Who knows, just might do something!”

Right! Your looking forwards to that! Might as well use these loops to do something nice!

You grab a meal from loop, grabbing the powerful duo from the second floor to get yourself a little extra. Stars you're so hungry you devoured it in seconds and it’s not enough it’s never enough-

Stop. Clear your head. Breathe. And head out.

>>>

Right! Mirabelle. She should be first, given she kinda started this whole thing. You greet her, talk for a bit, and then-

✦ “So, which will you choose?”

You point to the pile of papers, to clarify.

◉ “Wha- WHAT?!?!?!!!! HOW! WHAT DO YOU KNOW!??? ANSWER ME!!!!!”

!!! She has her hand on her rapier!!! She’s going to- QUICK!!!!!

✦ “Y-your choosing someone for something, right?! It seems important, maybe I can help?”

She pauses, and pulls her hand from her rapier. Oh thank goodness. You never thought she’d pull a sword on you unless she found you out! All your survival instincts flared up, you're glad you kept calm!

◉ “I...I guess… You most likely have more experience then I do. Alright, I’d like your help, if you’ll give it.”

Hm? Experience? Uh oh, now your worried! What if it’s something Siffrin is good at that you can’t mimic?

You guess you’ll just have to improvise if it is, and hope for the best.

✦ “Sure!”

◉ “Okay, but this might take some time!! So, Um…”

✦ “Don’t worry, I have time!”

Honestly too much time… And too little… You feel your stomach ache... Ignore it, you have time. You can eat at the bathrooms later, and that will help. This is important.

You take a seat next to Mira. She looks nervous. Hm… You're not good with stuff like this. Um. Maybe. Asking a question will help?

✦ “So… What are those papers?”

◉ “Oh! Um…. Their… Bonding proposals?”

!?! Wait, you remember bonding, you saw a thing about that earlier! It’s… Kinda like Marriage? You're not quite sure of the nuances of... either of those really? So, does that mean Mira’s looking for a partner?

◉ “NO WAIT THAT’S NOT EXACTLY IT PLEASE STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!! ...It’s… more like dating profiles? I-I’m not looking to be bonded just yet.”

Oh, Okay that makes more sense! Dating is still not your forte, it kinda confuses you, but it wasn’t really Siffrin’s strong suit either so you're not too worried!

You like the idea enough you’ve looked into it, sort of a false hope, but you should be able to help a little? Maybe? Still you're a little surprised Mirabelle is interested in that. She never seemed to care before?

◉ “Okay so… Before all this started with the king… I decided I wanted to, uh, try! To date someone. So I asked a company that does that sort of thing, and they sent a bunch of profiles, for people I could date…"

◉ “I haven't gone through them yet, and I figured now would be a good time. Keep my mind off tomorrow! But, I could use a second pair of eyes. Or just the one eye. As long as it’s not my eyes doing this alone!”

Right. Hm. You have no idea what Mirabelle is into, and she seems to be struggling as well... So, time to do testing! Scientific method, just like Siffrin! Just gauge her reactions, respond in ways to probe for more information, and go from there! You’ve got this Siffrin!

✦ “Alright, let’s take a look, see if we can’t figure this out.”

She pulls out a HUGE folder, and hands it to you.

◉ “Ok! Here’s a few of them, we can take turns! You can go first, and I’ll go after. So uh… Here!”

She grabs a profile of a big buff masculine figure. Plenty of muscle, probably very tast- WOW Okay you need to focus.

Hm. She seems to be the same mount of nervous as before, so not a big reaction. Let’s see…

✦ “Kinda looks like Isa.”

◉ “...Ew yeah, nevermind.”

That Ew kinda boggles your mind, but oh well, she’s got her own preferences. So perhaps not into more masculine types. Hm…

✦ “Well, let’s try someone more effeminate, see if that works. What do you have?”

She shuffles some papers around and hands you a lovely gentle lady. Likely tender and- Focus. Hm…

✦ “Kinda looks like you.”

◉ “...You're right, Ew.”

Again with the Ew? You don’t have much to work with here. You might have to get a bit more blatant.

✦ “Any ideas what kind of person your into?”

◉ “Oh I don’t have a type, I love all people equally!”

✦ “...That’s… Not much to work with…”

◉ “I um… would like someone… Nice?……. And…. Pretty?…….and….. Who… likes me?”

✦ “……. Mira.”

◉ “Nononono let me think a bit more!!!…. I…. want…. Someone who……”

She thinks for a while.

◉ “W-Well, what are you into?”

OH STARS you are NOT getting into that! You have no idea if Siffrin had any interest, and yours are EXTREMELY weird and messed up!!

HONESTLY, why does your brain mix up attraction and TASTE together?!? It doesn't happen all the time, but sometimes if one's high enough it can add to the other, Isabeau being prime example! And that is just NOT OKAY!!!

And past dating you have no idea! You’ve specifically avoided any form of dating because of it, you are NOT telling her that, what would she even do with-?

… Wait a second.

✦ “Wait. Are you just going to copy my answers?”

◉ “I-! Um!…. Okay. You got me. I… Really don’t care about dating.”

Fantastic. Well that solves that issue you guess, but then?

✦ “Then why are you worrying about it?”

◉ “…… So…. Siffrin. You know the Change belief means a lot to me… It’s all about changing, becoming better, and most importantly… trying new things. It’s why the house offers so many different classes, you know?…

◉ “So… I’m trying something new! Sometimes, doing that is something fulfilling, and easy, but you can’t just do that kind of stuff forever. That won’t help you change much. Sometimes you have to do things that are scary, or make you… Uncomfortable… Things you don’t want to do at all.”

… You know that when she faces the king, she’s committed to accepting the bad of life as well as the good. But. If she doesn’t like this that much, it seems unnecessary?

✦ “And… Dating is a part of that?”

◉ “Yes! Romantic love is supposed to be the biggest way to change! It’s supposed to change you, give new experiences and…

◉ “And I have to, right? To be a good Housemaiden? I have to bond with them, I have to do things with them, I have to get bonded and have children and love them in this specific way and… and…”

✦ “And it’s not working…”

Like woodcarving, like crafts, like talking, like your body under your skin, like the small details of your face and body, like the gnawing hung̷̯͝er always clawi̵̻̿ng at ẙ̶͈our b̶̡͊ody̸̪͌ and mi̶̯̊n̷͓̄d!

... You understand that feeling more then you’d care to admit.

◉ “...And it’s not working… I can’t, Siffrin, I just can’t! I can’t get myself to feel right about it, no matter how hard I try! I don’t want to do any of it, but I need to do this right? To change..”

...But… The idea of this being so needed for this faith…

You remember the Keyknife. How even YOU were accepted. Believed in. By the Change god themselves...

No. You aren’t okay with this. You don’t care if it’s what the faith said, it shouldn’t! If even Siffrin wouldn’t feel welcomed by this, then…

✦ “...Do you think the change belief is unaccepting? Of anyone?”

◉ “h-HUH?!?”

✦ “I don’t know about the romance, but I’ve never cared about doing things with people.”

Siffrin wasn’t, and right now you're speaking for them. And while you aren’t good evidence, you don’t think you’d want to either, probably.

✦ “There must be a bunch of people who don’t. The change belief should accept that! Because if any part of being alive isn’t allowed then… What’s the point?

✦ “That’s… Something I really like about it. That anyone, and everyone, is accepted.”

...She’s looking at you in surprise. Oh! You just realized you kinda just tried to argue faith to a Housemaiden! Um!

✦ “A-At least that’s what my thoughts are. I get it’s complicated a-and messy but…”

◉ “Y-You mean it? I… I wasn’t even sure there were others like me at all! With how much pressure gets put on us Housemaidens to do that, I… The fact that someone understands at least that!”

You nod in agreement. The relief is plain on her face, before being swallowed up by more anxieties.

◉ “...But. Still, there’s pressure to change in every way you can. I mean, we have yearly festivals for showing yourself as a new person!! Every Housemaiden has changed at least once!"

◉ “Except me. I... I find comfort in being myself! And we really are encouraged to change in EVERY way, from clothing to hairstyles to bodies to personalities and… and… Sometimes I wonder if the Change god understands that sometimes, I’d like just just stay the same…”

...You had no idea Mira thought this way about the change belief… If only you knew what to tell her… Something stirs at the back of your mind.

✦ “...This might seem a bit… weird… to say. But someone once told me… That if..."

That if...

✦ “That If everything changes, nothing really does.”

Mirabelle looks at you in confusion. Stars, it hurts your head to remember this, so much more then normal, but…

✦ “In order for a change to matter, it has to make a difference. Otherwise, it’s barely a change at all. But if everything changes, then it makes no difference how much it changes. And…”

In the end…

✦ “In the end, we are always ourselves.”

You release the memory. The pain subsides. But. You think the words were worth it. Whoever said them. Thank you.

◉ “… That��� I’ve never heard that angle before. To make change better by keeping some parts the same? It feels so far away from what we're taught, but... Hm.”

She smiles at you.

◉ “I like it! Hehe! It. It feels like whoever said it understood change really well."

A wave of relief washes over her again, even while she smiles.

◉ “I guess... maybe I can let some things stay. To make the parts I do change matter more. I’ll just… have to make up for it!”

✦ “I’m sure you will. Besides, Less things to change just means you can focus more on what you do! Sounds like fun.”

◉ “hehe! I guess your right!"

She looks you over again, a question on her mind.

◉ “…... Siffrin, do you have… Something like this? Something that makes you happy, but also that you struggle with?”

… Humanity.

It’s hard, playing this part. Putting yourself back together in the right shape. Maintaining it just right so it never looks uncanny. Figuring out what people mean when they say things. Trying to figure out their emotions. Making sure you're expressing your own correctly...

But every time they look at you as a friend, it’s worth the effort. Every single moment.

✦ “...Yeah. But. I’m glad I stuck with it. I wouldn’t have met you all if I didn’t.”

◉ “Oh! Do you want to talk about it?”

You can’t tell her it all but…

✦ “Just. Talking to people. It’s always been a bit tricky for me, but. I’m glad I’ve kept trying. It would have been very lonely without you all.”

◉ “Really? A bit like me too, huh! Well, I’m glad we met you too… Thank you, Siffrin. Thank you, for talking to me.”

You nod, and both just kind of sit there for a half second. Before she notices the time on the clocktower

◉ “Oh, wow, look how long it’s been! Sorry, You probably had other things to do, didn’t you? Don’t let me keep you any more!... I could stand a little alone time. I have a lot to think about!…. I’ll see you later, OK?”

You nod, and head off. You're so glad you did that. It felt nice, to get some of that off your chest… And that memory… You felt something warm from it… You're glad you got to have it, even if just for a second.

...A-Anyways, you should go help Odile next! That book seemed important to her.

>>>

It was quite a mess getting this book! You were half tempted to bite a few people on the way, for more then a few reasons.

But here you are! Odile found this nice clearing to read in, which you're happy about, less smells to worry about. But. She’s just looking at it while closed?

✦ “Aren’t you going to read it?”

◆ “… They said I could have it until we had to leave Dormont, so I have time, but…”

She just continues to stare at it… It clearly matters a lot to her. But it’s intimidating as well, you suppose? That must be why she’s hesitating.

Hm. Time to deploy the old reliable for diffusion! Jokes! And the most reliable joke for something Odile being focused on something is...

✦ “Is it related to your research?”

◆ “… Sorry, What?”

✦ “Is the book related to your research?”

She gives you this look of contemplation…. Wait, it wouldn’t actually be, right? Not something this mundane?

Hm... Well you guess it’s working so… Success?

◆ “Ah, well… I suppose I’ve kept it secret long enough. Don’t tell Isabeau, alright?”

You nod.

If she’s willing to tell you now, you figure you have a pretty good idea what it is. Had your suspicion it was either highly dangerous and secretive, or….

◆ “There is no research. I’m not researching anything.”

✦ “Heh, knew it.”

◆ “Really? You figured it out?”

✦ “Kinda. A normal researcher wouldn’t be able to resist talking about it otherwise. It was either top secret, or you were making it up.”

◆ “Clever. But yes, when Isabeau suggested I was here to research something, I figured it would be easier to just play along.”

✦ “Huh, yeah, that does leave the question. If not to do research then…”

◆ “Why leave Ka Bue and travel for years? Well… I’m here in Vaugarde, to find out more about myself, I suppose… It must not be very obvious to you, but… My mother was Vaugardian.”

Oh!

◆ “I’ve lived my whole life in Ka Bue. My father was Ka Buan, my mother Vaugardian. I have no idea how they met, he never told me, but all I know is she never wanted a child. She left very early on, and I never saw her again. Good riddance, as far as I’m concerned.

◆ “But… she didn’t leave anything behind. Not a single thing. It was alright, my father was a good man and raised me well. Ka Bue was my home.”

Nothing left huh. You understand that. Painfully well. There’s nothing to get back, no matter how hard you try. And it stings you, every single time you notice something missing.

◆ “But one day, a Vaugardian merchant came by, and I saw a book that she wouldn’t sell. A familytale. And she explained what they were. Stories of generations of family members, recorded for their descendants."

◆ “And halfway through, I found out I was crying. I never knew I cared about my other side till then but. I knew. I wanted it. That connection to a history that should have been mine. But was stolen from me. And I’d never have a link to it, ever.”

✦ “Unless you chose to make one.”

You made your link to there. Carved it into your body with your own bare hands. Hoarded what little pieces drifted up in your wake. Held tightly to every memory you could scrounge…

Oh. She looks at you a little surprised!

◆ “I… Yes. The king took over shortly before I arrived, which made things difficult. But While traveling with you all, I got to see more and more of Vaugarde. Got to learn more about the country, the people, it’s faith…"

◆ “And. Half of me is from here. It should be like looking in a mirror but… I felt no connection. It feels awful. Like I should have a place here, and I don’t. My roots were cut without my consent. Like I don’t belong anywhere.”

… Not belonging anywhere… You get that… You nod at her, in understanding.

◆ “But… I found that’s okay. I’m not the only one. Vaugarde is filled with people from other lands. Sure, my features may look off in Ka Bue, but no one minds here. I’m still other, but I am accepted none the less. And have found many who are in similar positions. And I’m very grateful for that.”

She’s lucky. To be able to see that herself. You sometimes wish you could go there, but… Even thinking about trying hurts.

◆ “What about you, Siffrin? Are you learning more about yourself here? It’s alright if you’d rather not tell.”

✦ “… No. And… Yes.”

She gives you an odd look?

✦ “I don’t have ties to Vaugarde like you. But. I do have a place I’m trying to connect to. It’s just. There’s nothing left of it. Just scraps.”

◆ “Nothing left?”

✦ “The island to the North…”

She pauses for a moment, contemplating, before she stops in realization.

◆ “Ah, I see…. that… Oh gems. I can’t even imagine…. At least I still have Ka Bue…..”

A memory surfaces. Something that means something important here. Something you didn’t even realize has been helping you, even as it hurts your head to remember.

✦ “Someone once told me…"

✦ “We tell people who we are with our actions. The rest doesn’t matter in the end.”

She looks at you, surprised.

✦ “If I keep moving, It gives my history some life. What pieces I have might inform my choices, but… It’s what we do that matters the most in the end. And… Traveling through Vaugarde. I might have only learned tiny pieces about my home. Scant scraps I could dig up or barely remember."

She nods, a grim understanding on her face.

✦ “But… We’ve done so much. With each other, with others, with the very places we’ve gone. I’ve left my mark. Even if my home isn’t remembered, I might be. And in making that path, I got to rediscover myself. So in some way, in Vaugarde, in traveling, I learned more about who I am then I could have anywhere else.”

You played the part of Siffrin so long, you started to learn more about how they would act. What mattered to them. And even if sometimes the differences feel glaring, you still cherish what bits of them you’ve kept alive, even if it’s just how their memories affected your own path…

You notice she’s just looking at you. And starts to chuckle.

◆ “I guess in a way, you came to the same conclusion I did, hm? Different route, different words, different methods. But. Yes. Where you're from doesn’t determine who you are. It’s who YOU are that matters most."

◆ “To be fair, It does matter, but mainly in how they’ve formed you. I might be both Ka Buan and Vaugardian, but in the end, I am myself. And that matters far more then anything else.”

You nod. You're glad Odile is who they are. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

◆ “Hehe… I feel so much lighter now.”

✦ “Glad to find that familytale, huh?”

◆ “Maybe. But more then that, I’m glad we talked... Thank you. For listening to me. And finally opening up."

◆ “It’s funny, finding out how similar we are, yet how different as well. It’s nice to know you a little more. Maybe some point, I’ll help you a little finding out about your own roots?”

You nod, and smile. It felt good to talk about that. Even just a little.

◆ “… Now get out of here! I have a familytale to read before we meet up for our sleepover!”

You chuckle a little, and head off.

Okay. Time to help Bonnie!

>>>

Okay, so you got the foods right, and Bonnie brought you out of Dormont to help them. But. Why? And Why towards the castle? What do they need out here?

✿ “….Frin you… You said I could ask for anything, yeah?”

Right… You're getting more worried by the second. But. You’re sure you can handle it.

✦ “Of course! Whatever you need!”

✿ “Okay, well…. I-I need you to teach me how to fight!”

OH! Uh! Okay! That’s, Uh!

✿ “I know Dile’s gonna say I can help tomorrow, but It’ll be from far away, right? I wanna help! To actually help!!! And… for that I’m gonna need to fight! And you're gonna help me!”

Stars okay you don’t know how- How are you- this is-

WAIT NO they're running towards a sadness!!! You start moving as fast as you can!

✿ “L-Look, I’m not scared! COME ON!!!”

Bonnie starts muttering under their breath, you're still trying to close the distance!!! The sadness strikes! Before it can deal any real damage you tackle into it, and crush its throat under your bare hands!!!! BLINDING-

✦ “WHAT WE̸̺͑RE YOU THIṈ̴̎KING???̸̤̅?”

You instantly get to healing the wound, you can smell the blood in the air, it’s driving you mad, you hate hate hate hate smelling that it gives you all the worst thoughts, especially from Bonnie, and you are NOT having any of that, what were they blinding thinking-

✿ “i-i’m sorry.”

...They're shaking, and scared. You… You probably shouldn’t have yelled like that. You make sure the injury is fully healed first, so you can have a clear head.

✦ “...Sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled, but…”

Oh okay softer voice isn’t helping enough, they're still shaking. Maybe…

✦ “Breathe with me?”

They nod, and you both begin to breathe, in and out. In. And. Out…. The smell of blood is gone, Bonnie doesn’t feel like a scared animal. It’s fine.

✦ “...Ok… I’m willing to teach you, but you need to not rush ahead. Otherwise I can’t keep you safe, alright?”

✿ “O-Okay. I’ll listen. Teach me.”

Alright. That’s better. Step one... there’s another sadness nearby. Hm. To properly train, You need to make it so that it feels like a real fight, but remove the danger…

You have an idea. The king has some control over the sadnesses, so this should be believable, if you're careful. It’s also not nearly as effective on sadnesses as it is living beings, but it should be enough to force it to pull it’s punches.

✦ “Alright. I’m going to go to that sadness over there, and use a very special craft skill. It’ll let me have a little control over it, so we can fight it safely.”

✿ “Wait you can do that?”

✦ “Yeah. It’s not as good as what the king does to them, but it’ll keep it from doing anything really bad to you!

✦ “Once I’ve got it, you can come in and fight it properly, okay? I’ll still be by your side, and give advice, and if it goes wrong, I’ll be ready to take care of it. Sound good?”

Bonnie seems a little surprised, and nods in agreement. Good.

Okay. You head towards the sadness. It tries to take a swing, and you dodge to it’s side, circling behind it. You then thrust your claw into the back of it’s neck, and reach for what mimicry of a spine it has. You leave a part of you in there, as it fuses itself to the sadness’s false nervous system.

You then sing in the special voice no-one can hear. And watch as the sadness starts to stumble and twitch, as the piece of you in it’s brain puppets it’s thoughts to your melody. Good.

✦ “You’re up, Bonnie!”

Bonnie, who was just staring in awe this entire time, shakes their head, and starts charging in.

Meanwhile, you try and focus in on Siffrin’s memories. They were trained professionally, much like the rest of their family you think. You try and focus in on memories of their training, see if you can’t guide Bonnie.

You keep singing your song to keep the sadness from attacking before it’s time. It’s trying to fight you, but you don’t give it an inch.

✿ “O-Okay, what do I do?”

✦ “First, check it’s craft type. It’s hands are in a scissors sign, so it’s weak to rock. Looks like we got lucky, that’s a perfect matchup against you!"

✦ “Now. Steady your breathing. Focus. Keep a firm grip on your weapon, and watch it’s movements. Keep your feet firmly planted, and make every movement count. Ready?”

They nod, and you let the sadness loose a little. It takes a swing, but Bonnie dives to the side, out of the way. It tries to take a swing as they're tumbling, but you stop it dead in it’s tracks.

Bonnie turns up just in time to see the shaking sadness inches away from their face. They seem shocked, but you expected this.

✦ “I did say, Feet firmly planted. Step, jump, or run. You can even block, your pan’s tough enough for it. But big moves like that can leave you open. Now. Back on your feet, I’ll let it go, and this time, keep your footing!”

Bonnie nods, still a little nervous clearly, but not nearly as bad as last time. They get up, and when the sadness swings, this time they step back, just out of range! It stumbles a bit, perfect!

✦ “Attack!”

Bonnie swings and thwacks the sadness on it's side. Unsteady as it was, it fully falls over!

✦ “Good! Make use of when your enemy messes up. As you saw earlier, one bad move can leave you open, and that goes both ways!”

Okay. This takes a bit of focus and energy, but you have this down pat.

You keep going, slowly easing up the control as Bonnie gets more confident, until they land the finishing blow. The sadness dissolves, your little fragment falls, but with a single note you have it dissolve too, so Bonnie doesn't notice. It leaves a bit of a bloodstain, but it’s otherwise unremarkable.

You watch as they take in the victory.

✿ “I… I DID IT!!!! I DID IT!!!”

✦”Well done, I barely had to do anything by the end of that!”

✿ “Really? You mean it?”

✦ “Of course! You’re a genuine fighter now!”

✿ “CRAB YEAH!!!!"

They look really excited, before a thought pops into their head.

✿ “…. Um. Hey Frin? Why aren’t we allowed to touch you?”

OH! Uh. That’s…

✿ “Dile and Za and Belle said it’s cause it makes you jump, and you do jump! But I was wondering why, cause it means we’re not allowed to high five or anything.”

Ah. Right. You always get nervous when it comes to touch. Getting that close makes you worried you’ll act up, or they’ll notice something’s wrong. You wish you could feel safe like that, but you just can’t. And at this point…

✦ “I’m not used to it. I’d like it, but just... I get worried. And. Scared I’ll mess something up.”

✿ “How to you mess up touch?… Well, if you're not used to it, we can do what me and Nille do!”

✦ “Nille?”

✿ “My sister! Her names Petronille, but that’s dumb so I just call her Nille. Anyways, she also jumps at touch, but if you tell her first she’s okay!

✿ “She’s really cool and tough, but gets scared really easily. One time I touched her shoulder when she didn’t know I was there, and she screamed really loud! Like UGHYARGH!!!! But she told me after to let her know first so she doesn’t hurt me on accident.”

Oh! That! You get that!… That works? Huh! That… Makes sense! Why does that feel like it’d work? You can keep steady if you know it’s gonna happen, probably?

✿ “It’s also why I wear big shoes, so she knows where I am! Heheh… heh…. I don’t want to talk about my sister anymore.”

✦ “You don’t talk about her often.”

✿ “She’s frozen in time and she’s not here, so I don’t want to talk about her. She says talking about people behind their backs is bad. Also, talking about her makes me sad.”

✦ “Understood.”

They seem happy to drop the topic. You get that, you wouldn’t want to talk too long about those you're missing. Sure, They’ll get Nille back, but that doesn’t make it easier.

✿ “Anyways, if you can see me, and I tell you I’m gonna touch you, then it should be fine, right?”

✦ “Yes! That should work.”

✿ “Okay then! I am going to touch you!!!!”

Bonnie pokes you in the stomach. It’s a bit strong of a poke? And even if you're a little nervous at Bonnie being this close to you, it’s nice! You're being touched! Like a normal person! Yay!!

✿ “Okay! Let’s fight another Sadness! I’m ready to learn more!”

Alright!…

Hm… You just realized something. Bonnies fighting style isn’t very mobile. They're fast, but they're pretty defensive, and that doesn't work in the backline. So…

✦ “I just realized, you might want a ranged option, since you’ll be in the back a bunch. Fighting up close is good to know in general, but you’d have to actually get up there for that to matter unless things go wrong.”

✿ “Oh. Yeah but... I don’t know any crafts like that.”

✦ “Good thing I’ve got just the tool for that!”

You pull out your old Craft Revolver. Guns aren’t well known in Vaugarde, so it’s probably an islander device, but you remember what it does!

Good weapon, can stay in the backline, and doesn’t take a lot of effort from the wielder except steady hands and good eyes! Both of which Bonnie has plenty of! Besides, you weren’t using it yourself. You're much better at fighting up close.

✦ “This is a special device called a Craft Revolver! You charge up the little chambers with craft energy, and when you pull the trigger, it’ll release it in one blast. You just need to focus on aiming it, and can charge it up when we aren’t fighting."

✿ “WOAH. That’s cool! So I can shoot stuff with craft like Odile! That’s super cool!”

✦ “Yep! And it’s accurate even from pretty far”

Oh and most importantly, gotta teach them basic safety!

✦ “Oh, and very important, make sure this little switch is off when not in combat, and on when we are. It keeps it from firing on accident!”

✿ “Okay, Gotcha! I'll be careful!"

You look around. Perfect! A sadness not TOO far from here.

✦ “Okay, see that sadness over there? You can stay right here, and I’ll distract it. Take your time aiming, keep it steady, hold it tight with both hands, and be prepared for it to jump back a bit when you fire it. Take your time, and we’ll see how long it takes to get the hang of it.”

✿ “Okay!”

You head over to the sadness, and start fighting it. You don’t put any effort into your attacks, and you try to keep the sadness in place, so Bonnie can shoot it.

But… You're not used to fighting out here. You’ve been fighting in the house for quite a while. And… You trip and fall over a branch. The sadness tries to go for the opening!

BANG

The sadness crumples to the ground and dissolves, a hole right through it’s head. A perfect shot! And on their first time! You turn to congratulate them when-

✿ “FRIN!!! FRIN!!! ARE YOU OKAY!?!!!”

Oh Stars, they have tears in their eyes! And they're panicking!

✦ “Y-Yes Bonbon I’m fine! I just tripped!”

✿ “R-Really? You promise?”

You nod. Oh stars, you didn’t mean to worry them! You can tell they're scared.

✿ “okay…. I… you haven't called me bonbon in forever… only Za calls me that now…”

✦ “Oh uh, sorry, I don’t know if that’s okay.”

✿ “nono it’s okay you can…. You promise your okay? It just… reminded me of before…”

Before?…. Hm. Likely a sadness fight, but that’s happened a lot.

✦ “Which before are we referring? We’ve fought a lot of sadnesses.”

✿ “What? You- THE ONE THAT GOT YOUR CRABBING EYE STUPID!!!!”

Oh right. That was a little messy!

✿ “AAAAAAHHHH You stupid crabbing- See!! I told you!!! You're so crabbing stupid!!! You think it doesn’t matter!!! You keep getting hurt because of me and you don’t care!!!”

Right… You were the only one who could do anything. Bonnie was in danger. You can fix injuries like that no issue, but healing an entire eye isn’t exactly believable. So you played along, made a scar like any other notable injury they saw, and moved on.

But. You guess it mattered to them.

✦ “It’s fine! It was worth it.”

✿ “It’s not fine!!! You got hurt because of me!!! And I don’t like it, you should have just let me get hurt!”

✦ “You would have died!”

✿ “It doesn’t matter!! If I had died, it would have been fi-”

✦ “NO. It would NOT. It would NEVER have been fine!!!”

You can’t believe they would say that! Never! Never in a thousand years are you going to watch someone die again!!!

✦ “STARS Bonnie, I could NEVER just leave you to die!!! What would I tell your sister? The others? MYSELF??? If I let you die I’d regret it every day of my life, always thinking about what I took from you!!!"

✦ “Just letting you die is no better then doing the deed myself!!!!! And I'd choose your life over a stupid blinding eye any day!!! I just…”

You look at them. They're sad. They're lost. They're alone.

That guilt. You know that guilt so BLINDING well. The guilt of someone getting hurt because of you.

✦ “I know it hurts. It hurts seeing people hurt like that, because of something you did. But it’s exactly the same for what you don’t do. And if I’d let you get hurt like that, I’d be the one in your position. Hurting every time I remembered what could have been.

✦ “An eye you can move past. You can manage with, eventually. But... you can’t bring back the dead, no matter how hard you try.”

You’ve tried. So very hard. Every day. Every second. Every step. But you can only settle for this.

Another memory starts to come forwards. More words from those you’ve forgotten. Those you killed. Couldn’t protect from yourself. Coming to help you even now.

✦ “Someone once told me… Ignoring those you could save is never the better choice. You’ll always regret it.

✦ “So… We just have to make sure we can all protect each other.”

Bonnie looks up at you.

✦ “I’m stronger then back then. And so are you. And we can make sure it doesn’t happen again. I can protect you, and make sure nobody gets hurt. And you can help make it easier, and help protect them too."

✦ “Together, Okay? So nobody is lost. So nobody is hurt. So we don’t have to regret a thing.”

Bonnie thinks. And then quietly responds.

✿ “...promise? Promise you won’t get hurt?”

✦ “Of course! I promise! Super Duper Promise!”

You'll stop even death itself before anyone gets hurt.

✿ “...Okay. Then… As long as you promise, it’s fine! And… I can help! I can protect!”

✦ “You certainly did a good job back there! First time and you got a perfect shot!”

✿ “Wait. I DID!! OH CRAB YEAH!!!! Yeah! I can protect people!!! And you can protect me! And… and we can protect everyone!!!”

You nod, and ruffle their head.

You do take a quick second to check… They did! They remembered to put the safety back up after! That was the one thing you were worried about, really. And given they didn’t do it while you were talking, they must have done it right after the sadness was dead. That’s good!

✿ “hehehe! You see me right? I’m gonna touch you now!!!”

They jump at you and give you a big hug!!! You freeze, not expecting that! You don’t know how to hug right! You…

Okay. You gently, and carefully, hug them back. They look up at you.

✿ “See? You do know how to hug!”

✦ “I-I guess I do!”

You smile, hug for a little longer, before you both head back to Dormont.

Just one person left!

>>>

Isa takes you to this open field.

You hope whatever they have for you won’t be too much effort. You’ve spent a lot of focus today. You're tired, hungry, and still nursing a headache from all those memories you’ve been having. And with Isa, you really don’t want to have anything go wrong.

But you can pull it through. Just a little longer. And then you can eat, and sleep, and recover. You can even slip out during the night for a bit if you need to. Loop can’t get proper food then but you at least wouldn’t be tempted. Just. See what Isa needs.

✦ “So, what do you need me to do?”

▲ “Huh? Oh, um… Lay down with me?”

You lay down, and he lays down with you. You look at him, confused.

▲ “And now, Look up!”

You look up.

Oh. Oh. The Stars.

They're… They're so clear. All around you. Stretching forever. It’s… You… They're so….

▲ “When you asked me what I wanted earlier, I couldn't think of anything. Had everything handled. But then I saw you helping everyone out, and I thought it seemed fun! So… I decided maybe we could just hang out!”

You… You don’t know what to say… He just… wanted to be with you? Nothing else? You…

✦ “I… And… the stars?”

▲ “Right! You often mentioned them, and I didn’t know what that word meant at first, so I took some time trying to figure it out, and someone told me eventually! And then I realized you talk about stuff like this a bunch, stars, planets, the sun, and so on. And that you’d often take time to look out at the night sky."

▲ “So uh. I figured you’d like a nice place to look at them together!”

He… he did this…. For you…? You… Can’t help your tears… It’s….

▲ “Oh crab! Is it okay? I didn’t mess it up, right? I-”

✦ “Thank you.”

▲ “Huh?”

✦ “Thank you! So much. Isa. I… I don’t know what to say…”

He stops, and starts to laugh. Stars, you love it when he laughs. You started making jokes just because it made him laugh. It was the first time you realized you could be human right. And every time you hear it, it brings back that memory.

As the laughter subsides, you just start to drink in the view. He really found such a perfect stargazing place. Away from all the lights, nothing to fade away even the smallest dot. You feel them so closely now. Hear their faint melodies that you’ve always heard. The song you weave into every melody you sing.

You were... worried. That it would be something you couldn't do. But. This? This is something you both can enjoy. He really is amazing.

▲ “By the way, I heard some people can see patterns in the sky. Not sure about what they're called. Conste-something?”

✦ “Constellations! They're very special.”

▲ “Really? Do you know any?”

You think. It’s hard to remember any at all. But. You do know one. It was very special to Siffrin for some reason… You grab a leaf, and craft it’s pattern into it, then hand it to Isa.

✦ “Yes, this one. See if you can spot it!”

Isa takes a bit, before pointing up at the sky.

▲ “Oh! There it is! It kinda looks like a tree!”

✦ “Yep! In fact, it’s where Favor trees gain their strength from.”

▲ “Wait really?”

You're starting to unearth this memory just a bit. It hurts a little, but it’s just too interesting not to talk about!

✦ “Yes really! Those stars together like favor trees, and if you know how to call their attention, and believe in what you want strongly enough, they can help give you the extra push needed to grant your wish.”

▲ “That… huh. I suppose I have to thank them then. I’ve asked for quite a few favors.”

✦ “We repay them in kind, even if we don’t know it. We’re a star in the sky to them, just as they are to us. And what tiny bits of strength we don’t use can be called by them when they need it.

✦ “Nothing on it’s own, but with all the stars in the sky? We’ve probably helped grant hundreds of wishes we never knew about.”

▲ “Wow… How do you know all this?”

You have to fight through a little more headache for that…

Oh. So that’s what Siffrin’s field of study was! No wonder you find it so interesting!

✦ “I think I studied it a bunch when I was younger. It’s not common knowledge anymore, and I don’t remember the details. But… Once I learned even a tiny bit, I had to know all there was!”

▲ “I can see why! It’s really interesting! And. Kind of compelling…”

You both sit for a bit. It’s nice to remember that… You look at Isa. They glance at you a few times. Stars! You shared all that, and didn’t ask them anything!

✦ “Well, I’ve said something important about me! Your turn!”

▲ “OH!! Uh… Hm. Well, you know how I’m from Jouvente, right? Lived there my whole life, big city, way more then Dormont… Anyways, you might think it’s surprising but when I was Bonnie's age, I was the nerdiest kid around."

Huh, really? Doesn't seem their style.

▲ “Massive smarty pants. Like, really, imagine it! Big glasses, neat braids, always knew the answers to any test or question the teacher would give, perfect grades all that. Always too shy to even make a friend on the playground.”

Hm. Now that he mentions it, you did realize he was pretty smart. But he always hid it. Why? What changed?

▲ “Yeah. I… Didn’t like myself. Cause I was smart, but I hated being shy. Being alone. Not even being able to ask a classmate for a pen because I was so paralyzed with fear. I would have lived the rest of my life like that."

That. You remember you were like that for a while.

▲ “But. One day, I looked at myself in the mirror, and thought… Is this it? Is this who I want to be?… I decided I didn’t. Made a wish on a favor tree, come to think of it. That I could be a better person. That I could change."

Didn't want to be... what they were...

▲ “Day after, I headed to a house of change, and got started. That’s what they help you do, you know? Learn new things, do Bodycraft, practice being who you want. And when you come out, nobody will bat an eye. I threw myself into it, just like I did anything else I learned. Lifted weights, practiced my confidence, changed my body to be bigger, stronger, louder! Told myself in the mirror that ‘I’m the Coolest!’.”

So that explains it. Hearing their heartbeat like you do, you notice their far more nervous then they act. So often they feel like a rabbit, but it’s only in small moments. But it happened enough.

Nobody else would notice it. But, you always knew there was remnants of someone else under who he is. Just like you.

▲ “...Change is destruction, you know? To bring change, you might hurt people. Might hurt yourself even. So you always have to be careful, make sure it’s worth it. So, I decided. The person I was... I made them disappear. Killed them with my own bare hands.”

✦ “...So the person you became could live. And the one from before would never come back…”

▲ “… You understand?”

… You… You shouldn’t say it. You can’t. But…

But… It’s Isa. You can’t help it...

✦ “I… Promise you won’t tell a soul?”

Isa looks at you firmly, and nods. You… You trust them. Enough to...

✦ “...I… I wasn’t always a good person. One day, Someone died. If it wasn’t for me, they’d probably still be alive. And... I was the only one left left who would remember them."

Isa stares at you. Not really scared, not upset just...

✦ “So… I took their name. Gave them a second chance. Took up everything they knew. Borrowed every piece of them I could. Learned everything they would have known. To save at least part of them. And bury the one who let them die…"

You grip your cloak tight to yourself.

✦ “I... still worry the old me will come back. That someone will get hurt because of me…”

▲ “Sif...”

Isa doesn’t know what to say to that for a while.

… It’s fair. Even if he only knows one kill, it’s still more then most humans would ever have. You’d get it if he judged you for it.

▲ “… Sif… I don’t know who this person was. But I hope you know. I still care about you. You might not be them, but… They kept you alive. Helped protect your old you from themselves."

You... You guess they did. If it wasn't for Siffrin... You would have...

▲ “Your new self is like armor, shielding the old one. I still know that little shy kid from before is still in me. And they're still an important part…”

A memory surfaces. Something simple, but important. It hurts again but… One more time today.

✦ “...Someone once said… Strength comes in many forms. But the strongest is from those of others.

✦ “I guess we both found people to cover our weaknesses, didn’t we?”

▲ “Heheh… Guess we did… One day, I’ll balance it out, be a mixture of both. Be smart and strong. Because they both matter. They're both a part of me…"

He looks at you smiling, happy, and hopeful.

▲ “I don’t know where you are on this, but… I hope, whenever your ready, you’ll get to do that too. Because I know that every single thing about you has been worthwhile.”

You… He… You weren’t wrong, were you? At the end… He really does…

He wouldn’t though, if he knew what you were. Not really. Maybe what bits peak out seem okay for now but… He has no idea… But still…

✦ “… Same here Isa. I have always been glad to know you. The way you laugh, the way you talk about things you like, the way you can make everyone around you at ease, the way you get all nervous at times when you think no one can tell. The way you notice all the little details about people’s feelings. Just…”

You don’t know what to say. You… You can’t say it.. You want him to say it… To make it real, because if you say it now, you don’t know if you’ll believe it when he does… Even if it’s just once, even if something happens and he forgets it, you need to hear him say it.

▲ “I… Sif… I… I also…”

Something catches your attention, in the corner of your eye, as does his.

✿ “AHAH! See, I told you all they’d be here!”

◆ “More like you heard Isa mumble to himself about it earlier. Nice spot, by the way.”

◉ “Hi Siffrin, Hi Isabeau! We figured you’d be here! Can we join!”

Oh! Everyone’s here!

...You were kinda hoping to see what he’d say, but that can wait till tomorrow.

✦ “Sure! We just finished talking.”

✿ “I brought food! So we can eat here!”

◉ “A nightly picnic!”

▲ “Oh, I can smell the Samosas!”

✿ “Here Frin! I made extra for you! As thanks!”

You smile, and grab a few.

◉ “Siffrin sure was busy today, weren't they? Thank you!”

◆ “Yes, thank you for earlier. You’ve been a great help today.”

You feel glad to be praised! It was worth every bit of effort.

✿ “Frin taught me how to fight earlier! So I can help you out tomorrow!”

✦ “Yep! Turns out with the right tools, they're a natural!”

◆ “High praise, coming from you. Consider me intrigued.”

◉ “What about you, Isabeau? Did Siffrin help you out today too?”

You both look at each other. He smiles. So do you.

▲ “Heh. Yeah. I think we both helped each other.”

… That he did. They all did. You trust them. And… and they trust you…

You're glad you did this. You know it might not last but… You're glad you did it all the same. And maybe. Just maybe…

No, you doubt this would stop the time loops, but… You guess you can hope a little. Surely like this you won't lose them, right?

...It's fine. You will try and hold them tight.

>>>

You’re at the clocktower, getting cleaned up before bed. You make sure to clean up normally, then open up your disguise to clean the undersides, just in case. Never know for sure. You put yourself back together, then check the mirror.

Blind it. That damn horn. It’s poking out of your head again. Ugh. Why is it so hard to keep hidden? It’ll just pop out of the right side of your head if you don’t pay attention to it long enough. Stars why don’t you just-

You reach to pull it out but stop.

You can’t. That stays. You promised.

...You promised? Who would you have ever made that promise to? Who would even care?

But… You know you did. And… Y

our head hurts so BLINDING much thinking about this.

… You just push it back in. It’s fine.

Your having a harder time keeping Siffrin together. You only managed this long because you always get put back in place at the start of the loop. You don’t even know if you’ll be able to heal damage right for long. You’ll need to start getting creative… It’s fine. You can mange for now. You’ll just have to see how it turns out.

[midnightsilverchelly]

[ingravinoveritas]

This weekend, I went to a pop culture/comic convention in my area to see a few friends, and had an interesting experience. When I was first walking from the parking lot to the convention hotel, a man I'd never met or spoken to before came up to me just before I got to the doors. I was initially wary, as I've encountered more than a few creepy/pervy men at this convention in the past. But what he said to me, very politely, was: "Excuse me. Are you one of the movie stars?"

I can't emphasize enough how much this came out of nowhere. I also don't know what gave him the idea that I was a movie star, maybe other than what I was wearing (a purple sequined dress, a silver cross necklace, and blue/white/red slingback peep toe heels). But the question pleasantly took me aback, and after I said that I wasn't one, he added, "You're dressed so nice. You look beautiful." Which also was unexpected, and after I thanked him for his very kind words, he wished me a good night as I continued on in to the hotel.

My point in mentioning this is that there tends to be a very specific idea of what/who a "movie star" is or looks like, and not in a thousand years would I categorize myself in that way. But I think maybe looks/external beauty are only one part of it, and the rest is confidence--surety of self, and how you move through the world. I have more confidence now than I have had any previous point in my life. I know who I am, and I think I'm finally understanding how that affects people's perception of me.

So yes, that was just an interesting little moment and probably one of the highlights of the weekend. (The other was running into a David cosplayer who had on David's purple-green fuzzy sweater and purple Doc Martens (see below), a kilt for a character in Sandman, and a face tattoo and snakey eyes for Crowley--three cosplays in one!) Good Omens really is everywhere...

[doodlejoltik]

my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator

[deva-arts]

zomg... the girls! Sketched out! And a few characters I never showed designs for! haha! I keep thinking about the beach, so this is their swimwear.

I hope to make a full fledged drawing for all of them soon~ then the guys~~

Some newbies are: Aura (blue!) Katya (Gold!) and more of Verra (Green!) We'll eventually see more about them as I draw more things and doodles.

[angbands-last-hero]

[sysig]

Does this hurt? (Patreon)

Bonus:

I love surfacetable.txt <3

[chaos-bringer-13]

My brain just hit an old hyperfixation (is this what it's called? I hope I used the word right) and oh dear am I losing my mind now. I need to write a story I think. About this one old guy. He's unhinged. There's so much information about him and yet not enough. I want to explore his character so much. He's definitely a criminal - at least he was one - and I'm 95% sure he can do actual real magic, and he's a musician and an artist and an actor and a magician and a philosopher and a traveler and a conman and so much more and also I think he's some kind of immortal. Maybe he just has a VERY long life. It's strongly implied he was a pirate at some point of his life. He started a cult by accident several times. My conspiracy theories about him include him being a secret god.

He's also a freaking round blue raven. Someone save me from my mind.

[deoidesign]

Can you make a tutorial on how you world build and make ocs? I can't seem to make any people in my brain, but then when I try to come up with environments jobs, beliefs and little details to slowly come up with someone, I think: well I don't really know how people have influenced the world- it's a weird loop

To be honest, I don't think I can! Writing is an extremely personal process. The way I write is directly related to how I process things, what I find important in stories, years of my own analysis of my and other's writing, etc... The way you write will be unique to you, as well. But I can explain how I personally think of it.

The short answer:

Write. Write anything and everything, it's a tool to explore your ideas. Analyze your own writing, and write more. Then, as you discover which ideas you want to develop, write more to explore them more. You won't know what you want otherwise!

The long answer:

I think this kind of loop is common. It's easy to feel like everything needs to be done "at once," because our job as writers is to make elements logically fit with each other for our readers. But as you've discovered, developing multiple elements simultaneously isn't really possible, or at least is extremely difficult.

Personally, when I think of writing, I break it into three major elements; characters, world, and plot. As much as possible every scene explores one or more of these, and as much as possible these three things tie back into what I personally consider most important: theme.

Everything I do is in service of the themes I want to present. Without them my events feel aimless. It can take a while to discover them, but they're the core of my work. You will have to discover what you feel is the core of yours. Analyzing other media helps with this too.

Concepts in your brain exist in a state of infinite potential. But when you start writing you have to start making choices, which removes potential as you move forward... But you have to move forward anyways. If there's ideas you want to explore later, you can always explore them later.

What this ends up meaning, to answer your question, is that I don't think of my characters as "people in my brain" or my worlds as something people have influenced... Not at their core, at least. They are tools that I use to represent specific ideas. Obviously they're also my blorbos, but mostly they're serving a specific narrative purpose.

So above all else... Write. Write, and discover what you're writing about, and then start over and write with that in mind. Keep doing this. But you have to write!