#I won't yuck your yum

[pfhwrittes]

something something simon sadist riley rubbing tiger balm onto your broken skin after a particularly brutal impact session because the way you flinch and whine when it burns makes his dick twitch more than your whimpering when the paddle hit your arse something something

[bethanydelleman]

Have you read "Mr Darcy Takes a Wife" by Linda Berdoll? A friend of mine recommended it to me, but I wanted to ask your opinion before reading it. (She told me it's fairly steamy).

I am very flattered by your confidence in my judgement. All I remember about this book is that 1. I did at one point own and read it and 2. I no longer own it.

The question you must ask yourself is: Would you like to read Elizabeth and Darcy going like bunnies all over Pemberley? If so, give it a try! If not, you aren't going to get much more out of this sequel. It's porn with plot. But hey, if that's what you like, fill your boots!

[necrotic-nephilim]

for the ask game

tim creates a clone of kon, but this is dicktim tim has to carry the fetus or breastfeed it, but dick suddenly gets a mommy kink and immediately falls in love

for the ask game!

DICKTIM MOMMY KINK. how did you know i have such a thing for just about any Batcest ship where the other person calls Tim mommy. i don't even know why i just think that shit is so fun.

it'd have to be Omegaverse for me, that's the only scenario i personally could write m-preg. i like the thought of no one knowing that Tim has gone on this crusade. and after 99 failures, Tim's so desperate and angry he tries in vitro fertilization. the first few times it doesn't work so he doesn't take it too seriously, at this point it's just a compulsion. he gets to a point he stops taking the pregnancy tests. so when about a month later, he's experiencing morning sickness and he's missed his heat, Tim has an 'oh, shit.' moment. and well. telling Dick first is his *natural* answer. (i think he'd also go to Steph, but in canon she'd be "dead" at this point) Tim doesn't know what to do, he didn't think he'd get this far. Dick is comforting and grounding, agreeing to help Tim hide this the best he can. Tim has to time it right, fake a bad injury so it makes sense he's benched and wearing baggy sweaters for a few months.

it's platonic at first. Dick is an alpha but his bond with Tim is more of a pack bond and he's just trying to help Tim through this awkward situation he got himself into. (and not laugh at him too much in the process bc well. only Tim. only Tim could manage this.) the pregnancy hormones have Tim all over the place. he's seeking comfort and Dick is trying to keep it platonic and professional, even when he's cuddling Tim or bringing him weird cravings at 2 am. the trust in Dick and Tim's bond makes Dick Tim's only real support system. (also just bc the Titans were a goddamn mess in this era) maybe at some point they tell Bruce the truth but Bruce is dealing with Jason so. bigger fish. it forces them closer as Dick is the only one who can help Tim with the awkward sides of pregnancy. Dick is basically living with Tim and because Tim can't satiate the itch to be in the field (he's tried sneaking out, it earned him a lecture from Dick and a warning that Dick would handcuff him to the radiator if Tim tried that again) so Tim runs comms. for anyone who asks, but mostly for Dick, to the point he's in Dick's ear even when Dick doesn't need the backup, just to keep each other company.

i think, as the pregnancy went on and Tim's chest started to fill out and his hips are bigger, that's when Dick's feeling shift. one second Tim is just his pack, the next Tim is suddenly a very pretty, very vulnerable omega that's Dick is protecting and his wires get all kinds of crossed about it. he starts dousing himself in scent blockers so Tim doesn't notice the change, can't smell how much Dick wants him. which makes Tim annoyed because Dick's scent has been a consistent calming factor keeping the worst of his hormones in check. it'd lead to an awkward fight where Dick is dancing around the truth and Tim just wants to bite him out of anger. finally, Dick admits it and. Tim kind of bluescreens bc sure he's had a crush on Dick for years, but it's sort of like your celebrity crush calling you up and asking for a date. it makes no sense and he can't wrap his head around it. he almost thinks Dick is making fun of him, because Tim is super self-conscious about the pregnancy and mortified he put himself in this situation. it takes a lot of reassurance and a long conversation, but. well, they do end up having sex.

Dick doesn't *mean* to call Tim mommy the first time. he knows Tim hates being emasculated as an omega, and knows Tim is vulnerable about being pregnant. their sex is gentle, no matter how much Tim insists he can take it because Dick doesn't want to hurt the baby, or Tim. it's when Tim finally huffs with annoyance and flips them over -reminding Dick that Tim is still trained and deadly, even like this- to take control and actually get the rough sex he needs right now, when it slips out. there's something just very pretty about Tim taking control and taking what he needs from Dick, but still being whiny and squirmy on top of him. so the first time Dick calls him mommy is an accident and they're *both* startled by just how much they like it. their sex life goes from soft and caring to *very* interesting overnight, where Dick doesn't hide how much he likes Tim's chest. and well. breastfeeding kink. for completely scientific reasons, of course. just to help the milk flow and make sure Tim's body is adjusting well. definitely not bc of the noises Tim makes when Dick does it no sir.

when Tim finally has the clone baby, they're both smitten with this tiny clone. i think they'd end up mating and either say it's Dick's baby or they adopted it. (the lie only works short term bc well, sooner or later that baby's going to start lifting trucks. not to mention Kon does come back to life and is perturbed by how much Tim's kid looks like him.) it's a very cute, fluffy happily ever after sort of deal, with plenty of mommy kink. i think Tim would be huffy and annoyed at how long he'd have to wait for sex bc in my mind, Tim uses sex as a stress relief and is very annoyed when he's deprived of it so, they'd find creative ways around it.

[fabulouspizza]

horrified at the saltburn x reader tags tbh

[1pepsiboy]

Car video with Matt Sturniolo - Fluff! (request)

Matt Sturniolo x reader!

Word count: 1.1K

Warnings: swearing, a little kissing

A/N: This one got away from me and I had to reign it back in because it's not supposed to be smutty lmaooo But here it is!

***

It’s close to midnight as Matt parks the van in a random spot at the favorite lot. The two of you got fries, chicken nuggets with sweet n’ sour sauce (mostly for him), and a large milkshake to share. You plan to do a car video to post on his individual channel.

You have no idea what you were going to talk about. Matt had fans submit their own questions for you two to answer.

After setting up the camera, which included Matt going out to check it, you start recording and picking at the food.

Matt starts the video off. "Hey everyone, (y/n) and I are here. Uhm... basically we're going to do our own car video without Nick and Chris. We don't really have a topic, but you guys submitted questions on instagram. Babe, have anything to start us off?"

Now, he looks at you as you’re mid fry. You chew quickly as possible, wiping your hands on a napkin, as he giggles under his breath.

"Thanks for the warning," you remark with a laugh. "Uhm, not really... I'm just here for the vibes."

"For the vibes?" Matt crooks a brow and looks you up and down. Then he takes a nugget and dips in the sauce.

You roll your eyes. "Don't yuck my yum."

Matt stuffs the nugget in his mouth. "Okay, Chris."

All you do is flip him off and take a sip of the milkshake.

"Just ask the questions."

"Okay, okay." He laughs as he readjusts in his seat after grabbing his phone. It's quiet for a couple minutes while he gathers them. "Oh, let's start with this one. What's our favorite thing about each other?"

"Well-"

"Oh, quick disclaimer, sorry babe." Matt shoots you a nervous smile. "I will edit screenshots of the questions onto the screen so you can see who they're from. And uh.. if you'd like to get featured in videos, follow us on instagram to see the next time I ask for questions. I'll put the @s on the screen and in the description below."

You slowly chew on your straw after taking another sip, patiently waiting for him to be done. It's already been fifteen minutes and you are almost positive Matt forgot the extra battery pack. Granted, you could've asked Nick where it was and brought it; too late.

"Okay, what were you going to say?" Matt prompts.

You think about making another snarky remark in how it'd been so long since he asked the question that you don't remember it.

Tapping the straw on your pursed lips, you pretend to think. "Well... I have many favorite things so it's an unfair question."

Matt lightly rolls his eyes. "Look, I know you love everything about me, but what's your favorite?"

"Oh, everything?" You laugh. "You think so highly of yourself, don't you, Matty B? Let's go the different route then." You look directly into the camera. "Guys, this kid will not accept anything sort of unorganized or clean. Not for more than five minutes if he can help it."

Matt's jaw drops and he snatches the cup out of your hand. "Your least favorite thing is how organized I am?"

"Yeah, live a little! You won't die if there's like a wrapper or two on your desk, or if the toothbrush isn't in the holder."

"You are an absolute monster, (y/n)!" Matt cracks. He points between you and the camera. "Don't believe a single word she says. She leaves more than a wrapper or two, and her skincare is all over my bathroom counter after she does her morning routine."

You shrug. "I don't see a problem with that, and I don't think the fans will either."

"Guys, leave a comment if you're more like me or (y/n)." He barely scoffs under his breath, eating another fry. "You're lucky you have other amazing qualities that I overlook the messiness."

Now, you couldn't help blushing. “Such as?”

Matt shakes his head, a smile spreading on his lips. “You’re understanding about a lot going on, you know, like the channels, life, and stuff. So it’s easy to talk to you about it, like if I’m ever anxious or something.”

“Top fucking notch quality right there,” you say. “Anything else? I love the praise.”

“I thought this was reserved for in private, babe.”

Your eyes go wide and you almost spit out the fry you just put in your mouth. “Matthew! Stop!”

Matt giggles under his breath. “Sorry. Uhm… You can rock a men’s polo and make the best playlists for me… Obviously you have such a vibrant personality.” 

“That I do.” You nod in agreement. You reach out to brush back some of his hair, causing some pinkness to rouge on his cheeks. “I love how cautious you are about decisions, keeps me from letting impulsive thoughts win.”

“Which is a lot,” he shoots a look at the camera.

You can only roll your eyes in response. “Anyway… You’re the most caring person I know that will drop anything to help someone you love. The only time you won’t ask a lot of questions… Oh! You’re actually the best big spoon ever.”

He bites his bottom lip, failing to hold back a cheesy grin. “Really, babe?”

“Absolutely.” 

You close the space between you, and Matt instinctively rests his hand in the crook of your neck. You crawl over the center console onto his lap when you realize it wouldn’t be just a few kisses.

Time gets away and you sort of forget that you are filming. Your hands roam each other’s bodies over and under clothes. Both of you leave butterfly kisses on the other’s neck.

The lights in the van suddenly dim away.

“Shit. Fuck,” Matt says, his lips pink from yours and hair tousled more than usual. “I think the camera died.”

“And we technically only answered one question.” You bite your lip with a laugh. 

He laughs with you, running a hand through his hair. He lays back and looks you in the eyes. “I should’ve known not to start with that question.”

“Should we try doing this again on a different night?”

Matt sighs heavily. “Probably… It would suck to scrap all the footage though.”

A smirk rises on your lips as you move back to the passenger seat. “You want to include clips of us making out?”

“Obviously no.” He rolls his eyes. 

“Let’s just keep going then. Use my phone to record.”

Matt kisses the crook of your neck. “You’re the best, babe.”

You shoot him a look. “Be careful, Matthew.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He throws his hands up in defense. (He really wasn’t that sorry.)

*You can request others from this list or send me new ones!*

[cowboywithacunt]

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CONTENT WARNING ;

This blog is an 18+ only kink/nsfw blog. I'm going to be posting explicit text and images. Please be aware that some of my kinks may be triggering to others! A full list of my kinks and limits are under the cut.

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RULES BYF ;

🐄 DNI: Men DNI blogs, detrans/misgendering/trans fetishization blogs run by cis people, cishet men, weight loss/thinspo blogs, feederism blogs, MAPs, minors and ageless blogs

🐎 My asks and dms are open to anyone! Please respect my boundaries, and don't send me stuff that involves kinks I list as a limit. Also be aware that I might not always respond! Sometimes I just ain't got the energy, don't know what to say, am offline, or just aren't interested at the moment. I'm fine with sexting, pics, and roleplaying. Do not message me several more times if I don't respond to your first message.

🐄 I block liberally! It's nothing personal, just how I curate my experience. Please don't circumvent blocks for any reason.

🐎 Feel free to claim an emoji, but I will remove you from the claimed emojis list if you don't send anything for a long while. It's nothing personal, just a way of keeping organized! If you start sending asks again I'll put you right back on.

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INFO ABOUT ME ;

🐎 I'm Harvey! 22, transgender (FtM), he/him, bisexual, country boy who's learned to embrace it as a thing people are into lol. Currently living on the west coast, originally from Georgia. I'm fat and hairy and masc, take it or leave it. 5'5". Deer boy tbh 🦌

🐄 I'm strictly masc, have been on T for about 4 years, and I got top surgery done last summer. I don't have bottom surgery, and probably never will.

🐎 I'm happy to be a dom or sub for any and all genders! I enjoy both roles equally. Same goes for topping and bottoming. I'm about as versatile as a guy can get!

🐄 Asks and dms are open to anyone who's interested!

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KINKS, FETISHES, ETC ;

🐎 CNC; includes rape play, dubcon, somnophilia, intoxication, primal play, and kidnapping.

🐄 Fauxcest; may include some ageplay elements, such as MILFs/DILFs, cougars, etc.

🐎 Humiliation and degradation; includes exhibitionism, voyeurism, pet play, free use, force fem/masc, misgendering, and detrans.

🐄 Monster fucking; werewolves, vampires, tentacles, you get the picture. May include non-human genitalia references.

🐎 BDSM; mostly pertains to bondage, but some light impact play might also be present. Nothing beyond spanking or slapping!

🐄 Overstimulation and understimulation; too many orgasms and not enough orgasms. Edging included in this.

🐎 Breeding; including impregnation of others, not of myself.

🐄 Misc; wilderness sex, cowboys/rednecks, putting city assholes in their place, T4T, bears, butches, sex toys, fighting for dominance, light gun/knife play, medical settings, older men/women, trans supremacy, furries, leather. Open to trying new things!

🐎 I do not tag any of these on reblogs! If you genuinely cannot stomach one or more of these things, just do your mental health a favor and don't follow me. Keep yourself safe!

🐄 Please keep in mind that all fantasies I post about are in the context of consensual roleplay between adults.

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LIMITS ;

🐎 Heavy blood, gore, death, necrophilia.

🐄 Scat, watersports, emetophilia. Very light omorashi stuff is fine.

🐄 Choking, beating.

🐎 Detrans/misgendering directed at me.

🐎 DDLG and similar kinks that focus on infantalization.

🐄 Race play; if someone wants to call me a stupid little white boy or something, that's fine, but anything even edging towards white supremacy isn't cool with me

🐎 It's okay if you're into the above things! I won't yuck somebody's yum. You can follow and interact. Just please don't send me asks or dms involving those kinks, and be aware that I may not follow back if you post a lot of one of these.

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TERMINOLOGY FOR ME I'M OKAY WITH ;

🐎 Sir, mister, bitch, faggot, whore, slut, masc terms, sweetheart, darling, buck

🐄 Dick, cock, t-dick, clit, cunt, pussy, chest, hole(s)

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TERMINOLOGY FOR ME I'M NOT OKAY WITH ;

🐎 Daddy, puppy, fem terms

🐄 Tits, boobs, vagina, front hole

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If you're not sure about something, just ask! I don't bite!

[starryjoy]

"Trans" is merely one of the many adjectives that describe me but in the eyes of so many people so many things I do will immediately be tied to that adjective.

So many things I feel weird talking about because everyone assumes I am like this because of my transness.

Me being openly very sexual in nature while being a woman? Well, I am a trans woman, need to remember that!

And the thing is so many people don't do this maliciously. So many people have simply internalized the misogynistic idea that women have to be one certain way and when they see a woman who isn't that way... well, if she's cis, she's a weirdo, but if she's trans... well of course, that explains everything doesn't it!

And the people who are seen as cis women in this equation also suffer please don't get me wrong. They get shunned and talked about with intrigue and wonder like they're some sort of mythical beast.

But to the people who are seen as trans women then a part of the observer so often will go "makes sense" as if they discovered the one single key to read humanity.

I am also curious how other people under the trans umbrella feel to this stuff. My idea is that we probably have similar but different relations to having the adjective "trans" heavily influence how people see us, and I would like hearing them out.

Also absolutely necessary disclaimer that it's great if to you personally the adjective is so important that it defines parts of your personality! I won't yuck someone's yum and stuff. I'm just tired personally of feeling like so many people will immediately think of me as trans before they think of me as anything else, but I get the idea of that being something someone could like.

[glitter-stained]

Ngl I feel bad -like genuinely- for people who can't enjoy characters or ships because of a canon OOC writing. And that's not in an "I pity you" sort of way, really. That almost happened to me: when I first got into the fandom, one of the first comics I read was Lost Days, which was unfortunately my introduction to Talia. Fortunately, I was very new to the fandom and her character and my perception of her was soon rectified when I found out quickly that this was OOC racist writing and I didn't really get the time to develop any discomfort with her character before my view was corrected (thank you, tumblr dc fandom who people like to denigrate) but I could have not been so lucky. First impressions are important, and I totally understand not being able to get past your introduction to a character. What if the first thing I first read about Dick was his time as a cop, or Steph doing blackface in a white saviour-ish run, or Tim being violently misogynistic? (pretty sure all of those are because of Chuck Dixon, fuck you Chuck Dixon). What if the first thing I read about Jason was one of so many of his terrible runs, he's my favourite blorbo and I could have been like "who tf is this 40 years old mf shooting children in the chest" don't think my image of him would have ever fully recovered. Same with ships I understand the frustration of liking a character and being so disappointed by their portrayal in a team-up that it disgusts you from the ship. People who hate Jayroy/Joyfire because of Lobdell's writing, who can't deal with StephCass after Batgirls 2022, etc I get it. And I'm sorry those writers took away the joy and pleasure you could have had in exploring those characters and the dynamics between them. And it could still happen! With any new character/relationship there's that risk. And I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty scared of giving the writers that power over me. Like yeah, I get it that's the point of writing, but who decides to give Morrison's Talia more power over Barr's Talia: dc editorial? The chronology upon which you stumble upon a comic? Sheer coincidence?

Absolutely terrifying. So many of these characters and ships have so much potential, and I think that's why I cling so much to the version of them that exists in my head like no, leave my Talia alone, you won't touch my Stephcass, get your grubby paws away from my Jayroy. It's like an everyday mantra "they can't take the sapphics from me, they can't take the sapphics from me, they can't..." Anyway, cheers to fanfic and AUs and the handful of mutuals that enjoy my personal brand of characterization cherry-picked from the quality comics I enjoy.

(But also it goes both way. Your introduction to the character/ship is very different from mine and mine is very different from yours, and you don't get to police shipping or even just shit on the ship just because it isn't for you. I'm weary of this mentality I've been seeing of "you shouldn't ship that because they don't interact in canon"/"their only canon interactions are ooc" because like, yeah? The point of shipping is not just to explore preexisting dynamics it's also often "i think those would complete/oppose eachother in an interesting way", that's the point. Don't yuck eachother's yums because of Scott Lobdell, do you really wanna give him that much power over your life?).

[dont-leafmealone]

some etiquette tips for quotev migrants

If you enjoy a post (piece of art, text post, writing, gifset, etc) interact however you would have on quotev!

Reblogging is like reposting an activity, but with a permanent link to op, and you can add your own thoughts in the tags or on the post itself. Very nifty. It's that little 🔄 symbol at the bottom.

Likes are a good short-form validation, and also a way to save posts so you can find them again later.

Comments are good for sharing your thoughts without having the post on your account for whatever reason.

Tags are optional, but useful for both organization and extra commentary that will stay on your blog (unless someone likes your tags. Then they may copy/screenshot and add to the post, or copy them in their own tags.)

if you trigger tag something, don't censor the trigger. That will only make it harder for people who have that tag blocked to avoid it.

"Copying is ok" rules for tags don't apply to art; art is to be reblogged, not copy-pasted, unless given permission from the artist. It's also polite to credit an artist if you use their art for a header/pfp, and/or ask beforehand!

That said, gifs are free game pretty much, since they have built-in credit to whoever uploaded them.

When posting images it's helpful to use the alt text feature to add a description, or add one in the body of the post below or above the picture, since A; it's helpful for those who use screen readers, and B; sometimes pictures don't load and the description is sometimes vital to tell what the heck's going on, screenreader or no.

Ask boxes are for things you don't mind being publicly viewed; messages are for private discussions.

Anonymous asks are optional, meaning some people may have them turned off. Anon hate is unfortunately common and many people opt to avoid it.

Block and report bots on sight. Report for spam/bot violations; even if they're an nsfw bot, reporting for sexual content won't do anything to get rid of them. Bots are pretty recognizable when you know what to look for, as their blog will either be blank/have a insta model pfp and generic URL, or...be full of untagged porn.

Bots come in waves; there'll be a lot at once, then they'll die off to a handful, then eventually come back. It's a neverending battle!

You can block tags to avoid seeing content you don't like. To do this you go into "account" in the settings menu, and type whatever you wanna block in the content filters section.

Turn on timestamps! That way you can know if info is outdated, or just in general have a time frame for when something was made.

Block rather than argue. You'll be happier in the long run. Hell, even if someone just kinda gets on your nerves or yucks your yum, but especially if it's serious, since reporting does next to nothing and arguing just won't change someone who's stuck in their ways, and it's not your job to fix everyone who's wrong. Block their account and if you want, block their name on the filtered content. Chances are they won't even know or care so don't worry that it's rude.

Most of all, have fun!

That's all I can think of for now. My askbox is open if there are any questions!

[werewolfmuttslvt]

I might update this pinned post as I remember more things to add

cishets/minors/ageless/terfs/swefs DNI i will block your ass

-everyone else can like/reblog/follow if they wish

-all my posts are specifically within the context of my relationship and this blog is primarily for him <3

-my OG posts are under #the werewolf speaks

- i won't respond to messages IM IN LOVE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

-asks are off as i'm not interested in talking sexually/romantically, flirting, role playing, or anything of that sort

-this is my sideblog, my main is @cyberstrxy

-don't take a block personally, i block liberally

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

I won't yuck someone's yum but you won't find any of these themes here:

-incest/fauxcest

-scat/vomit

-beastiality (pet play is fine, obviously)

-any sort of DDLG, daddy/mommy, ageplay

-raceplay

-vore and feedism or whatever it's called

-detrans

-being/getting pregnant for real

-rape (occasionally there will be some very very light cnc/dubious consent but nothing crazy)

#fantasy only = wouldn't enjoy in real life

Thanks for reading!

[noodles-even-less-stable]

Making this its own post because we all know I can TALK and the comment section can't contain my rants

On my Yuki hate post @honeyandbiscuitandtea-cafe asked about my opinion on Choso x Yuki

and honestly I don't have much of an opinion on it, BUT WAIT, I still have things to say lol. I simply mean I'm indifferent to the ship existing or not

So I am a firm believer in ship who you want (Problematic ships like minors and adults excluded). Even if I don't like the ship I'll fight for your right to ship them. It's a made up anime, have fun with it, I won't yuck your yums. Ship Yaga and a cursed corpse for all I care, living sex doll vibes. Anyways

With that being said I don't see Choso and Yuki being a thing. Here's why

Choso has an unmatched sense of duty and responsibility, specifically when it comes to his brothers. His drive and commitment is unmatched. Yuki is the opposite of that. While I think opposites can attract I think the moral opposition make this ship unlikely. (My Yuki hate is about to show so be warned) She is just lazy and has never actually fought for anything with a reason. Even her extreme opposition to Tengen and how they treated the Star Plasma Vessels (which she was one) she never fought for. She never tried to stop Riko from being absorbed, she never tried to stop Tengen, she just (like with everything) didn't care. If it doesn't actively benefit or effect her she doesn't care. Her selfish and self centered attitude alone would be enough to put Choso off. Again, Choso is the living embodiment of selflessness (when in reference to his brothers at the very least). I think even the idea that Yuki harmed Todo in the name of training would put Choso off. You also have to remember Choso is actively indifferent and most things besides keeping his brothers safe is boring to him.

Can we also take a moment, Yuki's type is a hard-working, tough-guy who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty (direct quote from the wiki). That isn't Choso (sorry?). He is very indifferent and bored of everything. He didn't have to work hard, his technique came naturally to him being a curse. He could just do things like blood manipulation and reverse curse technique. He rarely outputs a lot of effort or care into anything that isn't his brothers. Not to mention the only time he was willing to get his hands dirty was in relation to protecting or avenging his brothers. Even without their stark differences CHOSO LITERALLY ISN'T HER TYPE.

The ONLY point I can see in favor of the ship is when Yuki sacrifices herself (for no reason) and tells Choso to live on as Human. Even then, by that point she's dead. Her one selfless act in her damn life was in vain and ultimately useless.

I just don't get it, I don't see it, my autistic ass sees no actual evidence that this ship should exist. With that being said though, if you ship them, all the power to you. I simply won't consume the content but I hope you enjoy the ship if you do.

Thanks fore coming to my Noodle Rant

[ceasarslegion]

My advice regarding tattoos or any kind of body mods:

-don't shirk the expense. It's a labour intensive job, so what you're paying for is the effort and time and attention to detail. It's going to be on your body forever, so you want to make sure you have the best you can get.

-if your pain tolerance is very low, reconsider any tattoos that are super big or in bony places. I'm not trying to yuck your yum, but I am saying that if you can't handle the pain of it for multiple hours over multiple settings then you should reconsider redesigning it to something you can handle. You can build up your pain tolerance over time, but never push yourself past your limit for it or you run the risk of associating a permanent mark on your body with physical trauma.

-don't get tattoos from your kinda sketchy friend who bought a tattoo gun and says they want to practice on you for free. They aren't a licensed artist and they don't know proper sanitation and health and safety procedures. That is an infection waiting to happen, not to mention it's probably gonna look like shit

-tip the artist. Budget a few hundred for them, they do an extremely hard job where one fuck up is permanently embedded into people. A good tip will be greatly appreciated and they'll be more than happy to welcome you back for any future work and put even more effort into you if you show yourself to be a good client who treats them well. A good rapport makes for better art.

-its gonna be uncomfortable. It just is, that can't be avoided. Think of it on the same level of pain as a cat scratch but spread out for a really long time, so it won't like, kill you or make you regret being born, but it will hurt. If you get it all done at once, it'll be easier but you'll be pushing your body more than if you take breaks and come back. Talk to your artist about how you want it done and let them know what your plans are. That way if you like, wanna take a break to get coffee and lunch across the street and come back they both know you didn't like, dine and dash and they'll know what to tell you to do to take care not to damage it during your breaks. If you're getting a multi session tattoo, expect it to be spread out over a long time, so it's not gonna look great the first few times. But letting it heal and recover a few times will be essential for the final product. Make sure you're willing to go through that before you decide on like, a giant dragon with spread wings across your entire back.

-just... don't get face tattoos man. You're not Post Malone who has famous public figure status, you're some guy who has to be able to get and hold down a job. Every other part of your body can be covered in professional settings and piercings can be taken out, but unless you wear a face covering of some kind, your face is always on display. This isn't a moral or a judgemental statement, it's just the reality of the world we live in. Face tattoos make your life a lot harder than it has to be and you just dont have to go through that. Before anyone pisses on the poor about this one, I am obviously not talking about cultural face tattoos like the ones the moari people have

-do not get tattoos on an impulse, especially not tattoos of media properties. I'm not telling you NOT to altogether, I actually plan on getting tattoos of the truman show and back to the future at some point because those films really shaped me as a person in ways others haven't. That's what you have to think about though: do you just really like it right now, or has this media shaped you in some way regardless of your current enjoyment of it? Because the last thing you want to do to yourself is permanently draw something into your body that in a few months you just don't care about or even dislike anymore.

-do not get tattoos to make you feel better when you're sad. See above, but with an added dollop of regret. Get them in a completely sober and level-headed state of mind so you can be objective about them and if they will bring you joy for the rest of your life, not in the moment as a response to something negative.

-LISTEN TO YOUR ARTIST WHEN THEY TELL YOU WHAT YOUR RECOVERY WILL LOOK LIKE!!! If you throw out everything else on this list but one thing make this the one thing you keep. If they say you can't put it in water, don't put it in water, they'll tell you how to bathe. If they tell you it can't be exposed to sunlight, do not expose it to sunlight. If they tell you you have to apply a certain skin disinfectant or something to it every day, I don't care if it stings, you have to apply it. If they tell you not to scratch it, suck it up if it gets itchy. You have a massive open wound on your skin that is a breeding ground for bacteria and viruses and dirt and filth and is incredibly sensitive to everything. You can do everything from ruin your tattoo to contracting flesh-eating bacteria from shirking your recovery process, the latter of which is not that uncommon, but almost always happens to people who don't listen. Do not fucking do that.

[bijoumikhawal]

thinking about Ming Yi/He Xuan and Shi Qingxuan and their relationships to women....

Like obviously Shi Qingxuan is insanely transfem coded. Maybe you think they're transfem nonbinary/genderfluid or she's still putting on her male form partially because Shi Wudu hates when she's out and about presenting feminine, but either way that's not a cis man.

But also. Ming Yi, her bestest friend, also shapeshifts into a woman. It's noted that Qingxuan encourages people to do it and tries to convince them (because she enjoys it and assumes others must too), but it's noted that people are uncomfortable with it in the narration iirc. We only really get to see Xie Lian's reaction to her suggesting it and he reads as at least somewhat uncomfortable, though him and the deal with him dressing up in drag whenever a Situation occurs is a seperate thing. But Ming Yi, who LOVES to complain and be cranky, never says one word that I immediately recall indicating he's uncomfortable with it. Xie Lian is easily able to politely talk his way out of it with no hard feelings between him and Qingxuan, so it's not like he "had" to.

Further, crucially, He Xuan's anger comes from the deaths of his loved ones as well as his destroyed life. His sister, his fiancee, his mother, and his father- mostly, women that he cared for. Now, obviously this can be criticized as a bit too close to fridging (generally I think people's accusations that MXTX is a misogynist don't hold much water- its obvious to me that she's portraying misogyny as common but not delving too much into it because she's writing M/M romance first and foremost). But I'm also turning the reparative reading of it in my head, of the specifics of He Xuan and the value he places on his relationships with women.

Further, as part of that reparative reading, the misogyny that Shi Wudu enforces. I know he's some people's babygirl and I won't yuck a yum, but he does immediately discard the lives of 5 people as utterly worthless (3 of them being women). Yes, as Water Tyrant, hes implied to kill a lot of people, and since he targets sailors that don't give him tribute, probably mostly men. But, when we are asked to personalize the people he kills, to know their names and the specifics of their deaths, we are given 5 specific people, and three of them are women. These lives he sacrifices for Shi Qingxuan, his "brother".

Notably, during the last scene we get of the Shi siblings and He Xuan, the thing that makes He Xuan rip Shi Wudus arm off is him trying to kill Shi Qingxuan. "You won't survive without me, this is a mercy". Though Shi Qingxuan is in a masculine form, Shi Wudu can be read as enacting misogyny; you can't live without a man protecting you, so it's best to kill you if I'm going to die. More specifically, this man should be a relative; he tells Shi Qingxuan to seek out Pei Ming before this, iirc, and then seems to decide it isn't good enough. Even though Shi Wudu disapproves of Shi Qingxuan being a woman in public, he is used to seeing Qingxuan present as such because Qingxuan did so to hide from the Reverend during childhood.

And yes, arguably Shi Wudu doesn't like Qingxuan presenting as Lady Windmaster because it's a bad memory; but I think it can be both. It's both "this reminds me of a scary part of our lives", and "this is something gross and beneath you, and I can't believe you'd do it in public". And even as Shi Wudu dislikes it, he frequently is controlling towards Shi Qingxuan in a way that is both "I am your older siblings and I've had to protect you all our lives so obviously I know best" and "I am your older brother, and you are a woman who cannot be trusted with her own life" if you acknowledge that Qingxuan is, indeed, transfem.

Its not only that you can read the Water Palace scene as "He Xuan feels something for Shi Qingxuan other than hatred but refuses to back down on revenge", you can also read it as "He Xuan watches another woman he has some feelings towards be attacked by Shi Wudu, directly this time". And obviously yes: He Xuan is the villain in that scene and he's threatening both Shi siblings with violence. The only innocent person in that room is Shi Qingxuan. There is no babying here, only some thoughts I've had about these three characters and their relationships to women.

[nottheweirdest]

i want to write a fic where sonic and amy are dating and then they break up and eventually sonadow yada yada. but the problem is that first i have to write sonic and amy dating. and i hate sonamy

how do you do it man

I am SO sorry for the slow response! A big storm hit and I unfortunately lost power over 24 hours ago. No data either so I'm totally disconnected 😅

I dislike Sonamy because in my opinion they don't work. Not gonna yuck on anyone's yum. You like them, great! You don't? Great! But for me, it's like trying to push together two magnets of the same charge. They just won't go unless you force it.

How you write it just depends on where you're going with the story. In Clean Slate, Amy is SUPER toxic but there's a reason that tied to the plot. I didn't make her that way just to make her that way. And in Coming Home, that ties to personal experience. I definitely don't enjoy writing it 😅 but if you can tie it to a plot-based reason or weave in something that is personal to you, it helps.

Best of luck with your story!! Sending you all the good writing vibes! 🎉💖

[glassartpeasants]

Isaac lovers are such a rare breed but also even more rare are the Isaac lovers who genuinely love the Cannon Isaac. like Your Isaac? Oliver? Hell even Germ and Ells rat man of an Isaac I can see the appeal. I see the dig. I won't yuck yalls yum. But people who look at Isaac in the creeps comic or the LJ origin and go "I want you" I have to Wonder if we're looking at the same guy. I legit gotta know what it is about him. Explain yallselves. 🧐

Cannon Isaac is in the sewer with the alligators we don't talk about him. His actions are punishable by death. The Isaac we know in love are the Isaac's we made in our heads ❤️

[pink0lamby]

I may have made the ask game but that doesn't mean I can't play it!

So... 0, 1, 2, 7, and 8 for Manfred. If that's too many, you don't have to answer 2.

YAY!!!! I LOVE PLAYING GAMES!!! this is so exciting!!!! --Serious headcanons about a character or characters of your choice

i'm only going to do one because my other headcanons aren't as serious, like i'm serious about using them but they aren't really serious, you know? tw for suicide, and murder, and later on, discussions of abuse

First off, I do think that Manfred had a sort of "DL-6 Incident" where he was the victim's child. Here's how it goes: His father, a famous defense attorney was murdered by a rival prosecutor, in his own office, Manfred was trapped in the office with the body for several hours. His mother, who had noticed his and his father's absence, searched the house and then called the police when she found the study door unable to open (despite not being locked on either side) and hearing her son crying for her on the other side. The police come, break down the door, find Manfred and his father, and the case ends up going cold. Manfred's mother ends up hanging herself a few days later, where Manfred is then adopted and raised by the murderer

--Stupid/silly headcanons about a character or characters of your choice

so these ones aren't entirely silly or stupid but i really wanna share them so this is what you're getting >:)

When Manfred was younger, he had very, very long and bright orange hair that many describe as "almost seeming to glow in the dark". It made him appear almost ethereal, matched with how he constantly seemed to float, it would attract stares and charm others. It was like his hair made him sort of a Dahlia in other people's eyes.

Manfred actually had a defense attorney friend, his name was Vice Karmel (bonus: his name was meant to have the "VK" initials as a nod to manfred and i specifically choose "Vice" because of it's meaning), and he helped Manfred when he was accused of murder back in 1970, they were friends for awhile but eventually had a falling out after Manfred had attempted to end his life and pushed everyone away. (that's not so silly but back to silly) Vice and Manfred, when they were friends were a chaotic duo, but not too crazy. Less Damon Gant and Blaise Debeste, more Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey sort of chaotic. Manfred was usually the one acting all chaotic and crazy, contrary to his persona, Vice usually had to be the one to calm him down.

--Favorite fanfic about a character/ship of your choice and why

ooo this one is hard but i think i have an answer, this one isn't necessarily about one character but it focuses on characters like Miles, Gregory, and of course, Manfred. So my answer for this one is Turnabout Enemies by Youngbountygirl on AO3 (or wattpad if you're brave). The reason why is because the characterization, backstory, and plot in this fanfiction is literal GOLD, i re-read this one almost month i swear

--Characterization that I love of a character(s) of your choice

If Manfred isn't an abusive father, but still unhinged, i love you. like let him be bat-shit insane but he doesn't have to hit kids to be chaotic evil, you know?

--Characterization I hate of a character(s) of your choice

Like before, if Manfred IS an abusive father, i click away immediately, i can't handle it. and usually it's not even just abuse, it's downright torture, idk why people think he's abusive like that but it's just not my thing. i won't hate someone if they like it, my yuck might be someone else's yum, and i can literally just click away if i hate it, but it's just not my style

thanks a lot for the ask!!! i fucking LOVE these things!!!!