#I wish someone could say this to me rn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-monologues · 1 year ago

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Letting someone go, even when you love them deeply, passionately, unexpectedly...because you know you are not ready to healthily commit cause of your trauma, makes you worthy of an applause.

Knowing that you saved someone from the abuse and scars which you are trying to heal from right now, shows how much you love them.

Not knowing if by the time you heal and are ready for them, whether they will still wish for you...and accepting that fact yet deciding to let them go...you deserve an applause for that.

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sergle · 4 months ago

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talking about the topic of animated movies not Hitting, I accidentally reminded myself of one time on twitter, I think around the time that Raya came out?? I was poopooing on how much the dragon looks like elsa, and then talked about how I wish 2d animated and hand animated films were still The Medium instead of nothing but the highest resolution skin texture fur textured 3d animated films bc I'm tired of seeing it, etc etc and then someone who I was not mutuals with, they must've been someone working under the disney IP in some form, and must've either done some work on raya or just worked on 3d animated projects in general, replied to me SEVERAL TIMES as if I was subtweeting them, with something to the tone of "just say you hate me and you think my art is trash" and I think about that ALL the time

#I wish I could find what they said bc it was so much weirder than what I paraphrased. but this was years ago #like I had accidentally REALLY. bothered them and they thought the tweets were directed straight at them.#they were following me apparently (unfollowed me after that. obviously. bc they decided that I hated them specifically)#(bc I didn't like the dragon design from raya and I was fantasizing about it being 2d animated)#they deleted the tweets like 24 hours later but I was literally like. I'm sure you do good work???#i'm sorry you feel that way but rn i'm trying to complain about this very mainstream movie?? this is not a personal attack???#but now whenever I say something about a movie looking like dookie I imagine someone messaging me going “just say you hate me”#bc they did some concept art for it or something #shouts out to that person they were obviously doing really well emotionally to have come at me in that way lmao #sergle.txt #they obviously felt that we were in a Personal Argument but i wasn't wanting to argue and the interaction was not personal so it was very #one sided lol

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gay-otlc · 3 months ago

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I hate when you value your friends beyond anything, and you know they value you, and you would trust them with your life, trust them with anything else, but you truly don't know whether they would come to your defense against antisemitism

#for context i'm the only jew in a group chat rn #and someone in the chat is saying some Not Great things #and i confronted them about it #and if it devolves into worse antisemitism. will any of the others defend me? i wish i could be sure but i really can't

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puppppppppy · 1 year ago

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Ever since I was a little girl I always knew I wanted a butch twice my size to call me a good boy

#it hasn’t happened yet but I think it will fix me once it does #Im not much of a boy or a girl or anything and I gave up trying to put a name on it. but I really like that phrase #its weirdly pleasing and I wish I had more situations where I could call myself that…. sigh #I noticed that whenever I do smth like look both ways before crossing the street or hold the door for someone #I find a little voice in the back of my head praising me like wow!! good job!! you’re such a good boy!!!#idk what that says abt me but im not complaining. I am a good boy #I hope everyone is having a good week!! and if not I sincerely hope it gets better and the weeks to come #im updating my blog again for fun ^_^#so far I’ve updated my header icon and text color but since im on the bus rn I might go back and change things when I get home #I also saw someone walking across campus wearing nothing but a t shirt and shorts in -15 Celsius weather #yapping

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 1 year ago

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Hold on I think I cracked the code behind why so many people don’t understand what pantsing/discovery writing is!! Intention!! Though pantsing entails “writing without an outline” (so much nuance there) it doesn’t mean you don’t have a specific intention behind a work! Intention can evolve but it’s like the guiding force behind a work & something I’m aware of while I work, even in the most subconscious of ways… intention!!!

#Rachel rambles about pantsing vs plotting again bc someone left me a comment & it reminded me of a tip a gave which was smart #ANYWAYY pantsing is a really cool and diverse process (not saying outlining isn’t I just don’t do that!)#& there are soooo many variations of discovery that I wish I could learn more about how others pants bc there’s neverrrr ‘#<< ‘content’ abt that !!! hold on would ppl collab with me anonymously to talk about their process if you pants??#& I could compile a vid of tips from pantsers??? I always only have tips from me LOL but would love to hear #from more pantsers!!!! there are a million ways to outline but where are the million ways to pants!!!#million ways to pants now?? million ways to pants WHEN??#also this isn’t a versus pantsing and plotting holding hands rn

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lovesickhog · 1 month ago

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I can't believe I had breakfast, read smut that my friend wrote. Got so unbelievably horny that I jerked off for 5 hours and then I passed out covered in my own ooze because oops. It's dinner time And I have had one grilled cheese today 🥴

#ess says #i need to get food ASAP #ngl I wish someone was with me rn so they could like go grab pizza while I recover from this orgasm.

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catkin-morgs-kookaburralover · 1 year ago

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"i mess up things and then i don't have the energy to fix them up" yes brain true sentence but no brain the appropriate response is NOT "therefore i should kill myself (and here's how)"

#tw suicide #i wish i was joking #i am just so so tired of keeping myself alive! can't someone else do it for a change? or better yet kill me??#said something to the emergency room psych #she queried it and i confirmed i had said precisely what i intended #she blinked and said 'i usually hear that from jaded forty year olds not twenty year olds'#i won't share what because it was a highly specific explanation of precisely how i might see myself suiciding or how/whether i thought i #could. she asked me and i answered. apparently she wasn't expecting that level of detail and confidence #is it funny to anyone else that i always struggle with confidence but i can confidently tell her specifics about suicide thoughts?#this is reminding me of the fifteen year old yesterday i was conversing with and he randomly started listing all the suicide methods he #could think of and i was internally like you missed a dozen i can think of. didn't say that obvs #i don't know i am. tired. of everything. and i had a long and good conversation with an older woman from church last night (mother of the #boy. i have confided in her before she's great)#she's hte only person irl who now knows about the second suicide attempt (tho she doesn't know it was the second) and she was encouraging m #to see the psych and escalate care #but all day ive been regretting telling the psych or bro or anyone honestly #it would be so much EASIER to have said nothing and gone through with my plan #i wouldn't trust myself not to rn if i had access #i mean. i know multiple ways in this room i could kill myself. but i won't #there's a couple of specific methods that are most of the thoughts usually so they're the specific ones i gotta watch out for more if that #makes sense #ooh gosh im rambling i should shut up xD #personal #puddleglum hours

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blessthishouse · 10 months ago

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It feels like there’s a lot of heavy energy right now

#everything just feels kind of hopeless and I feel like I’ll like #never be financially stable enough to leave my family #and like I’ll never have a deep and significant romantic relationship #like at this point I am just waiting for my dad to die and hoping for some semblance of peace and normalcy for the rest of my adult life #maryam's posts #like fuck man I just want romantic love #but it seems like everyone is just weird or burnt out or does the bare minimum #and here I am looking and feeling like an idiot #like I’m just tired #I wish my family wasn’t so scarily homophobic I could be comfortable enough being with someone who wasn’t a man #I just feel all alone #And I wish I had someone rn who could see that #and who could give me a hug and say that they loved me

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garrettwrites · 1 year ago

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When someone tells you they don't like hugs, that's not an invitation for you to "cure them". It is not a "you" thing, although sometimes it might be. You thinking "they have to get used to it" because "your hugs are different" and "that's how you show love" is not a valid argument. Hugging them out of the blue as a goodbye is not cool either. Fuck off.

#ok to rb in case someone is in the same boat but thinks the post is too personal #this friend of mine...#pretends he's great but can't respect one basic thing #he's lucky I have grown to control my emotions and not lash out #i hate it #don't hug me or touch me end of line #i am honest to god feeling sick #this dude and I have history where I borderline felt incapable of saying no and had sex with him #afterwards I told him how I felt #yet he still pulls this shit #hugs make me sick to my stomach I don't even hug my family #and I really don't wanna hug a man who pretty much made me hate sex (for myself) as a whole #i feel disgusting rn #twice he hugged me and got mad when I refused to hug him again #even after I already told him I hated it #then asks if I'm scared of him because of that like you piece of shit I wanna rip my skin out where you touched it #I may pretend to everyone that I'm a strong confident man but good lord #sometimes I wish I had an over protective boyfriend so he could kick him in the teeth over this shit #it's ridiculous I know but fuck #apologies if you read all these tags but I over drank after this and none of my friends are awake and I needed to vent #garrett.text

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ghosts-of-love · 10 months ago

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someone tell me to go outside pls

#ive looked up the place i want to go (fen) and theres parking #it's raining really hard rn but i like walks in the rain #idk ive been on my own in the house for a while. and my two friends came back for 20 minutes this morning so one of them could pack up more #of her stuff (she moved out a couple of weeks ago) and both of them forgot their keys so needed me to let them in #and then the 1 who moved out didnt really speak to me except right before she left when she said something rude about the kitchen #and then tried to backtrack by saying 'i didnt mean that. in fact. i dont even remember what i said!' like just say sorry its not that hard.#id rather you said something rude and then said youre sorry and that its uncalled for than pretending you dont know what you said #10 seconds ago #so i just went up to my room until they left and it sucks because that was like my one opportunity in a week or so to speak to someone #in my own house #thank god i went into the office this week and spoke to people #also my friend messaged and was like 'odd core vibes?' about his partner who said the rude thing and i wish id been like its actually just #rude not odd #but whatever #and ive just been sitting and thinking aboht it for 2 hours instead of leaving the house

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foreverppl · 1 year ago

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Part of the reason Amais doesn't let anyone look at their songwriting notebook is because it contains a plethora of journal entries that are varying degrees of pitiful.

#amais is a glutton for punishment it's true #writing this was what inspired them to start writing 'one to bleed'#i wish for the life of me that i could draw but alas i cannot and so i will stick to lyrics/journal entries and moodboards #i am not decided yet about whether i want amais's feelings towards seven to be romantic or not #in general i think amais is someone who doesn't mind friendships where the line between platonic and romantic is pretty blurry #but i'd say for rn he just misses his friend. desperately.#anyway i am so excited for amais to go off the deep end they are already so close and the show only just started #mc: amais rena (infamous)#edit #infamous if #seven lawless #if: infamous #txt.me

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puppppppppy · 1 year ago

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i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court

#im joking #i think i just get embarrassed saying smth that most ppl can see out in the open. its like when prey animals are grazing in a pasture #and then they hear a twig snap yk. im like that. but talking in the tags is more comfortable because it just feels more.. hidden?? quiet???#its kind of like how i prefer responding thru asks than DMs.. idk if it has something to do with space or less pressure #i also use these as an excuse to ramble a little abt recent events so. ive worked a little bit on shuffle and prestos backstories ^_^#i was thinking abt giving them a shared past where they knew each other as kids and forgot but i also though hmm.. idk if it would drive th #story i want bc i think itd be better if they bonded over similar experiences instead of the fact that they knew each other before. i get #that reconnecting and reconciling your idea of someone now and then is a good concept but id have to think abt it.. i dont want it to feel #like they owe each other to be friends again just bc they were as kids. ive experienced that a lot and all it did was make me feel guilty #so i think id want to write it as u can be friends with someone who had similar experiences and make u wish you knew each other then #i also know theyd hate each other but idk HOW. i suck at writing conflict so idk if theyd try to make each other eat glass and why #idk if itll ever come up but id also like to see if theres a way i could rationalize why they have animal ears.. normally i say aliens #but ive had an idea for a species and background for that too. although its very abstract and it probably has a lot of holes #smth abt peoples souls attaching themselves to smth they identify with.. although i dont know to what extent like if it can #be called a sona or if it can even be smth mythical like a unicorn or god itself.. its very weird rn #yapping #oc talk

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stripesysheaven · 2 years ago

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anyway to celebrate my rewatch of lost being complete, have a zoomed in picture of a selfie i took with mr emerson <3

#you can still barely see my hair on the right side of the picture lol #his hand was on my shoulder im. just staring at it #it freaks me out too much what the fuck #feels like it happened to someone else not me #i remember it but also i zoned out staring at him #wasn’t emotionally present #not showing it but i did wear a dharma shirt when i met him #my dad always said ‘you’re very brave to have his hand on your back. he easily could have stabbed you’ you say that as if its a bad thing #wish i had watched lost more recently during that time so i could have asked him more interesting questions #he was so lovely though. talked about his wife a lot even promoted the show she had going on at the time #guy clearly loves her it was adorable #i know i know parasocial relationships etc im aware i dont know anything about his personal life and im more than ok with that #ok im done im just insane rn #michael emerson #my posts #lostposting #benposting

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itsalwaysdark · 5 months ago

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anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day

#its just like atm everything that i need is like . not possible. which is oartially my brain being like We have to do this before we this #which sometimes isnt true but sometimes is #like i cant get medicated again or back seeing a psych or back on t until i get a job again #but i cant get a job again utnil i get my ged <- partially untrue but ged would make it a lot easier #but i cant get my ged until i have a job bc it costs money <- if i asked my parents they would probably help me If they had money 2 spare #since like. yk. they want ne to be able to work again so i have money again and ill be another source of income and they care abt me also .#affirmations . ppl donot just see me as a piggy bank they do see me as a person im not judt someone to squeeze money out of thats not how #ppl view me and its fine its fine its fine its fine . it feels so stupid being scared abt that i feel like a rich person whos like She only #likes me for my money 😭 like stfuuu annoying ass. i just ummmm. have a massive fear of debt and like. ppl demanding money from me #unexpectedly or expecting i am going to give them money. not in like a Ohhh fucking ppl want me to donate not it at all im happy to donate #but in like. god this is dumb. eveeytime i got birthday or christmas money as a kid i had to give it to my parents so they could buy food or #gas or whatever. and it never got paid bsck and it felt like shit. but i couldnt ever say no bc then itd be My fault we didnt have food that #week . yk. my first paycheck i had to give it all to my mom for groceries and we got in a fight in the store bc she was like Ok im gonna go #buy pop and my dumbass got upset abt it bc like. my mom told me itd be Necessities nd like. yk. wtvr. it was fucking stupid my entire family #r caffeine addicts so pop is a necessity i was just. rly upset and it felt like my parents saw my money as just. theirs but they had to ask #abt it so i wouldnt get pissy. yk. and they ask me for money a lot usually for food and i dont mind but it like. idk im rly paranoid abt #being a provider and ive got a Lot of guilt abt like. anytime we dont have enough food it feels like my fault bc it was my fault when i wasa #kid if i didnt give up my christmas money for pizza. or whatever. idk its so dramatic like i didnt need the money i was 8 it was selfish of #me to wanna buy fucking. toys or whatever that wasnt more important than My parents being able to get to work or my siblings being able to #fucking. literally eat. or paying bills. like its selfish that im like wahhh wahhh but i wanted to buy vibeo game wif my bday money i #shouldve judt been fucking grateful i was able to help my family. wtvr. I hate connor. wtvr #n then the shit with ugh last year like. yk. and stuff. and then the them stealing 1000 from me not getting into it b4 i get mad. idk.#and im just lazy now i need to get a job again but all the shit like. as i was saying earlier b4 i started whining. idk. i should be happy #that i get to help w bills and stuff that was my dream as a kid #like ever since i was 5 when i was fantasizing abt my future i was like Im gonna marry a prince and then ill be able to afford to pay all of #my families bills and my parents and siblings will be able to go to college and be happy and maybe never have to work bc ill be able to #handle it and ive always like. yk. when i was a dumbass kid i was like Ill go to college so i can get a good job and be useful. of course i #cant ever go to college bc im fucking. useless. and itd just be another burden on my family if i was in debt bc i couldnt help them as much #if i had debt and itd be selfish. and it doesnt matter bc im too stupid to go to college anyway. idk. i wish i could just fix everything #it just feels awful rn im literally just a drain and my family doesnt say it to me yk like. ik theyre happy imback i think they are

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hairydykecunt · 5 months ago

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i have this weird thing where i want ppl to be really nice to me and pet me and etc but like, i know that’s not possible, at least for me, cause no ones ever gonna see me as a cat. i’m just some guy asking for attention, not this cat you spotted and wanna call over, i am just never gonna feel as innocent as i want to. it hurts so fucking bad

#kitty talks #on the come down of the shrooms and felt a lot today and im thinking a lot and i’m just like haha idk i rlly wish inwas a cat #i wish i could never feel a thing ever. i want thr bliss cats have. i want ro be loved. i wanna be cute. i jusy wanna be small #ive been edging breaking down for so long but it really does suck i really jusy wanna be hugged but i dont wanna be Hugged i wanna be hugged #and i wanr ro cuddle but not like that. i want to be a cat that crawls into bed with someone warm bc i like their heat. i uusy #i dont know i feel so fucking weird rn and it’s mostly bc im like fuck dude is this jusy how ill be forever like am i seriously not gonna +#get over this. am i just gonna live my life begging to be loved like something im not?#am i even acearo? like i am but do i really know what i mean by when i say i dont Like that stuff?#like am i just not interested bc i know it’ll never be possible to truly Be Like That with no worry?#idont know im jusy really sad and im cold and i wish someone was kissing me right now and i wish i was being squeezed #and i am also so tired of dressing up just to feel uglier but i love dressing up and make up too much to Not do it #idk. basically. i wish i was a cat and i wish i didn’t frel ugly all the time

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lieutenantselnia · 6 months ago

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Internet archive I love you❤️❤️❤️

#my 14 year old self is crying tears of joy rn #I was able to recover videos of a yt channel that I used to follow as a teen but was closed by the owner from one day to the other #for *years* I thought I'd never see them again (aside very few scattered reuploads)#granted my interests changed and I was occupied with other things #but every once in a while I was wishing I could just watch at least my nr 1 favourite video of them just one more time #but NOW I found out that someone salvaged basically the entire channel and just - put the videos up for downloading?!#it feels so unreal because after all this time I can just watch them again? as often as I want?! and they're mine to keep forever?!! ahhhh #I'm getting unreasonably emotional over this but that channel genuinely meant a lot to me at the time #I still remember that I was on the school bus home when I discovered it was gone #and I swear if I hadn't been in a public setting I'd legit have cried over it. it certainly ruined an otherwise really nice day for me #granted my 14y/o self probably had a bit of a dumb sense of humour (harmless. but dumb. what do you expect from a 14y/o?)#(hence I'm also hesitant to mention the channel name bc I'm not sure if I'm ready to potentially embarrass myself)#but I still feel an odd fondness looking back because I know how much those videos meant to her <3 #especially my one favourite video which 1. was the sole reason I discovered one of my favourite tv shows ever #and 2. was probably the spark that really ignited my initial interest in animation and digital arts #bc for the first time I consciously realised that you can actually do cool and fun stuff even as just one single person #and that you don't need an entire animation team to just - express yourself creatively and bring your ideas to life #like I'm not even joking when I say if it wasn't for that channel I might have ended up in an entirely different education/career path #anyway I'm happy. but I'll stop now. oh gods I'm abusing the tags again instead of just writing all that *into* the actual post #internet archive #personal #selnia talks

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