#I wish more straight women were aware that like. you can do whatever the fuck you want

[cruelsister-moved2]

i could never be straight and straight people arent real but if I was straight I would never live w my partner and if I wanted kids id find another woman to platonically raise kids w im not joking. I think before signing a tenancy/mortgage together every woman should have to read the literature on the housework gap

[myastrouniverse]

May/2024🌗♒️MAY GOOD WILL PREVAIL. 93.

♀️▪️ ♇︎ I’m wearing your Heatmiser T-shirt in that photo. I never believed for a second you would kill yourself. I’d like to think rather, that it was a publicity stunt, a faked death, so you could disappear completely from the public eye. I don’t always wear that lapis heart, but I do wear it. I lost your T-Shirt during my move. It could be in storage. I have to take care of it, but I dread going back. I still don’t have a place for my things. It breaks my heart to think of letting everything from my past go.

🌗▪️🌞 Seeing isn’t always believing. When Columbus first brought his boats to America, they anchored a few miles off shore. The Native Americans did not notice the boats immediately. They were so foreign to their conscious minds the boats were nearly imperceptible. It was only the tribes appointed Shaman that noticed the boats. The Shaman sat on the beach, staring into the horizon for a month, before he was able to help the other members of the tribe become aware of that which they could not understand. That is what our prophets, artists and hopefully our journalists try to express to our collective still in touch with their humanity. If you are not SCARED for OUR FUTURE GENERATIONS, RIGHT NOW, you are BLIND. I want to remind people of what happened during the 2020, Portland protests. There were mass kidnappings. Women and children were especially targeted. Crowds were being shot at with rubber bullets and gassed with unknown hazardous chemicals. People died or went missing in mass. Think about the college kids protesting right now. I fear for their lives. It is an abomination to allow police to torture our children over a conscientious uprising.

🌗< ♆︎ I think my FAVORITE improv comedy sketch I wrote was ‘The Frankenstein May Day Orgie.’ I cast: Mascis, Rufus, Cumberbutt, Bale and I think Cross and Chappelle made a brief appearance. It appeared on Twitter May of 2020, I think, under my old Kerri Sheragy profile. Mascis was Frankenstein, of course. (We had a side conversation about the Water’s film: Female Trouble. The whole point of that movie is to turn straight men gay. If I didn’t know I was a gay man trapped in a woman’s body before Female Trouble, I certainly did afterwards. I believe that movie turned my boyfriend gay. Whatever.) I’ll give you the summary because I don’t have a transcript. I can’t replicate perfection and that improv was near fucking perfect. Summary: I have an arranged marriage with Rufus, my GAY husband. On our wedding night Rufus goes behind the barn to fuck a donkey with his servants. Then Mascis shows up. He is pissed off because Rufus fucked his robot wife to death. Then Mascis and I have freaky revenge sex and Mascis spooges black cum everywhere. Then Rufus walks in on us fucking, with his entourage of servants. The whole thing ends when Rufus pulls a giant rose quartz massage wand, out of Mascis’ asshole. I guess you have to imagine yourself there. It was really funny.

🌗 ☸︎ ☊ I wish I could talk to an old friend, in real life.

🌗< ♂️Motivation is important. What motivates you? If you don’t know, you are more dead than you might realize.

🌗 ☸︎ ☿︎ May we have world peace.

🌗 ☸︎ 🚑 I can fix me and by fixing me, I hoped I could fix you, too. I ALWAYS have hope.

The Smile - Free in The Knowledge

I shouldn’t have to say I 💖 you over and over again, ‘no confidence’ man.

Yeah, I thought that was you parked next to me after the police vehicle drove off.

I recognized your beautiful nose.

It was probably a cousin. Whatever.

I am staying out of these delusions.

[twin-wolves-123]

long textpost incoming lol, for whoever cares

i think the thing i was least prepared for about being queer was just how fucking lonely it feels

tbh maybe lonely isn't the right word. helpless? hopeless?

When i first realized it i was in high school, and i didn't really make a big deal out of it at the time since it didn't affect my life a lot in particular-- i had a lot of other personal crap going on and the person who made me realize it ended up graduating anyway. i kind of just viewed it as a fact about me more than anything else, the same way my favorite color is a fact about me. Which is a privilege of course, i didn't really come out to anyone aside from close friends who were also out to me, but i did grow up in a pretty accepting area and was lucky enough to not particularly have internalized a shit ton of homophobia by then. but now that it's actually having a tangible impact on my life that view has definitely shifted to a more negative one.

for context, i think i've fallen a little in love with one of my close friends/roommate over the past couple of months. we've been pretty good friends for a bit over a year now, though only started rooming together at the start of this semester. he's a really great listener- sometimes he will just walk up and ask what i'm watching/doing on my laptop and let me ramble at him for however long about whatever niche interest is currently occupying my attention, he makes time to spend w/ me even if it's very spontaneous, i'm a little obsessed with his laugh/smile, and god he's so fucking smart i think it's insane. and sometimes when he's letting me infodump on him or we're just sitting together doing whatever i just get the urge to hug him or ask to cuddle and it's kind of ridiculous. I recently just got back from a fall break trip that he ended up backing out of and there was a day I was exploring the city by myself just kind of wishing he had been there with me.

issue is, aside from the obvious one, is that he is straight as hell

I'm out to him and he's very chill with it (not that I'd even be friends with him if I knew he wouldn't be), but god, what I don't really understand is how people deal with this. It's hard enough finding someone who likes you back even when your sexualities/genders DO align. i mean, it's not like things have gone perfectly with every girl i've been into up until now. And generally speaking, people are more likely to be straight than not, because... we are a minority lol. The argument often made by, say, homophobic parents of bi children is, just date women (or men, depending on who you are)! but you can't really help who you want, right? being bi in general isn't even a 50/50 split to begin with the same way all sexuality can be fluid, and it's very possible and even probable that i do lean more this way than the other (frankly it's not like i've dated enough to know). And i'm of course aware that things like dating apps and queer communities do exist, but it's not that easy to get over someone just like that, especially since i find it really difficult being into someone if I'm not already friends w them/know i get along w them well as a person first as opposed to seeking out this kind of connection on an app of some kind

so it's times like these where, as much as i've gotten out of the friendships i've made through queer communities (like on campus for example), being Not Straight just really sucks, not even necessarily because of homophobia (either from others/internalized) but simply because it's that much more miserable knowing that someone, even though they make you really happy, would never be able to view you that way, and sometimes i feel like it'd just be easier if i were straight the same way i wish i were taller, or my teeth were whiter, or other similar inconveniences that i can't change. i'll see other couples posting from trips they did together, or for national boyfriend day, or whatever, and it's just that feeling of one day, he'll be doing the same thing with someone he loves and i won't have any part to play in that, because i'll just be watching distantly online wishing it could've been me instead.

and of course it doesn't really help that i really struggle with making friends and am not socially perceptive at all and am often mentally hung up on small social interactions, him being no exception (quite the opposite actually, in general he shows slightly less emotion in conversation than the average person), so a lot of the time i'm stuck wondering whether he really even likes me as a friend at all or is just putting up with me for the sake of politeness.

Anyways. obviously this will pass (i think? regardless of the fact that it usually takes forever for me) but it still just fucking sucks and makes me wish i didn't have to deal with it at all

[firesign23]

I wish you would write a fic where Sansa pulls Jaime aside following J/B's wedding (banquet, camp wedding, whatever) to give him the big little sister talk of assured destruction if he fucks this up.

Ohhh, I do love writing Jaime and Sansa at odds. It’s just perpetually entertaining to me to watch these two basically going “I will begrudgingly accept that you also love Brienne, but like HELL does that mean we have to like each other.” when ACTUALLY they’d probably get along if it wasn’t for *waves hand* all that past shit. Not that this ended up like that, but here we are. 

Under the cut for length.

Send me an anonymous ask completing the sentence “I wish you would write a fic where…”

Jaime has just finished his morning gruel--spring is still in its earliest days and luxuries are few and far between--when he is summoned to the Queen’s solar. Brienne rises to join him, but he shakes his head, gestures for her to remain behind. If this is what he suspects, it is best she not be there; he will not have her thrown into a cell with him because she’s done something foolish like defend his honour.

The walk from the great hall, through the stone corridors of this dour place, is over far too quickly. He is greeted by guards at the door, who wave him into the solar with little concern at all. He’s very glad Brienne is not with him now, because she would scold them for their indifference.

He nods to them both, and steps inside. The room is bloody cold, even with a hearth burning brightly behind Sansa, and he resists the urge to shiver.

“Ser Jaime,” she says, folding her hands neatly on the table before her. “Please, sit.”

He does, noting the chair is low enough to the ground that Sansa looks down at him slightly.

“This is familiar,” he grins, tilting his head. “I seem forever destined to look up to the women of Winterfell.”

She arches an eyebrow in return; Brienne at least, would have indulged him with one of her hidden half-smiles. 

“Ser Jaime, do you know why I have summoned you here?”

He shrugs, nonchalant. “Your loathing has become too great to tolerate my presence? It’s fortunate indeed that we leave--”

“I know where you were last night.”

Ah, that. “Ser Brienne rightly noted that if we arrived in Tarth unwed, an enormous celebration would be inevitable.”

“And so you used my Godswood to avoid such attentions, without so much as requesting my leave.”

“With all due respect, Your Grace, you were not the one being wed.”

Sansa’s hand twitches and she forces it below the table, hides her smallest tell. Her gaze is indifferent as she studies him, and about as warm as the room. Fucking North.

“Ser Jaime, I have released Ser Brienne from my service. That does not mean our friendship is any less. You wed my friend, in my home, and hid it from all.”

Jaime snorts. “Podrick was there.”

“That is not the point.”

 “But it is. It was not hidden, it was private.”

“Because you knew she would feel honour-bound to go through with it, and you had no intention of standing before your own gods to do it.”

She speaks as if this is an irrefutable fact, not some absurd fantasy of her own concoction.

He clenches his teeth, breathes deeply. “Careful, Your Grace.”

Another arched brow. It’s infuriating. “Are you threatening me, Ser Jaime?”

“You have summoned me here to scold me for marrying a woman who holds no obligation to you or your kingdom. I know you mislike me and that is fair enough. But I will not have you speak poorly of Brienne.”

“Only of her blindness to your nature.”

He sneers. “She is eminently aware of my nature.”

“Your past, perhaps. But to hide this--”

“She asked for this privacy, not I. I would gladly parade naked through the streets of King’s Landing, or what is left of them, for the privilege of marrying her. She did not want attention drawn to it, and perhaps that is because she is ashamed of me, but I think it much more likely she simply did not want the fuss. It is not your place to insist otherwise.”

Sansa sits straight, as if she can mask her misstep through sheer dignity.

“Be that as it may, Ser Jaime, you will acknowledge that this marriage is… It will be of much discussion. I only speak out of concern for Brienne.”

“If you do not think she knows that--”

“I am concerned for my friend.”

“And I am concerned for my wife,” he counters, “but I do not tell her what to do.”

“She would not listen if you did.”

“No,” he agrees, leaning back in his chair. “I presume that is why you have summoned me for this conversation, and not her.”

Sansa leans forward, and instead of ice she is all fire, dangerous enough to burn.

“I have summoned you to make one thing clear: you may depart for Tarth in a fortnight, but until then you are here entirely at my leisure. If you harm her in any way, if you so much as step on her foot or misspeak, I will have your head.”

“If I harm her, I would be lucky to live long enough to face your so-called justice,” he points out, quite reasonably in his opinion. She thinks otherwise, for her nostrils flare. 

“This is no game,” she retorts. “Ser Brienne has saved my life, and I will not have you toy with her like this.”

Anger flares in his gut and he stands. “I have had enough. Take my head, or hold your tongue, but do not tell me what it is I mean to do. I have made no vows to you.”

Blue flames burn the hottest, he recalls as she stares him down. 

“I only tell you what it is that I mean to do,” she says. “And if you think that Tarth is far enough to escape my wrath, if you believe for one moment I will not bring down a fury that would make dragons seem tame to protect my friend… I do not suggest you tempt me.”

“As entertaining as that would be--and entertainment is short indeed in the North--I have no intention of tempting you. Brienne was foolish enough to marry me, and I will not give her reason to regret her decision.” 

Sansa tilts her head, just slightly, and he resists the urge to shift beneath her gaze.

“Is that all, Your Grace?” he asks, arch and combative.

“You may leave,” she says. “I have made my conditions clear.”

He steps away, pauses at the door. 

"There is one thing," he says, glancing over his shoulder. "If you truly wished to threaten me, you need only have asked Brienne to stay. She would not leave if she thought you required her." 

There is the secret half-smile; it is remarkably like Brienne's. 

"Perhaps," she says slowly, glancing up from the table to watch him with cool eyes, all the fire gone, "I only wished to watch you squirm. Good day, Ser Jaime." 

A masterful move. He bows. "Good day, Your Grace." 

[oitommothetease]

Invisible String (2/?)

Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Description: James Buchanan Barnes, the owner of the most expensive-looking club in town and your new apartment. He was a dick and you hated him. What could possibly go wrong when you, the new girl in town, start bartending at his club to pursue your dreams?

Warning: Sexual assault, mention of an anxiety attack.

Word Count: 1641

It turns out you definitely can't do this. Working in retail sucks, majorly. Customers are so awful to you and other employees as well. You didn't make the products, you don't control the prices, then why should you listen to them rant about it all day?

This job was from 9 am to 4 pm, which reminded you a lot of your previous job. By the time you got home, you were exhausted mentally and physically. Your current schedule was eerily similar to your previous lifestyle, which left you with no time to work on your book.

You felt like you were stuck in an insufferable loop that you just can't seem to escape no matter how hard you try. You thought about Mr. Barnes a lot, too. If only you weren't so egoistic and been a little nicer, then maybe you could have had that job.

With each passing day, you were becoming desperate. The only reason why you didn't run to Mr. Barnes a week ago was your pride. A pride that would not let you bow down to that rude, egoistic asshole.

It's like the universe could hear your thoughts and the devil himself walked through the doors of the store. Fuck, he can't see you here. He's going to think you're some nut job who's chasing stupid dreams after having an excellent degree. At least that's what your parents think.

You were about to run and hide behind an aisle when the voice you knew too well called out for you.

"Hey, do you know where I could find-"

"You," He said, without an emotion. "What are you doing here?"

You pointed towards the badge with the name tag on your shirt and mouthed working.

"Why?"

"Why?" You pretended to think, "I don't know, I interviewed for this other job about a week ago, but the boss was an ass."

"You lied to me," he stated as if it wasn't the most obvious thing.

"Gee, sorry, dad."

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what again?" You questioned.

" Diverging a question with a joke," He answered with an unaffected tone like he was studying you and your reaction.

"You know who I am." he stated. It should have been a question, but both of you were aware of what he meant.

"A vampire?" You mocked. He didn't look like one though, but hey, neither did Edward nor Stefan. But God, those steel-blue eyes could drink you up and you wouldn't complain. Focus.

For the first time you saw an emotion on his face that wasn't unaffected or bored, he was confused. Of course, he was confused, you were referencing twilight to a mob boss (you think, you weren't sure, but that's all you could gather from all the articles you found about him online).

"I need that job," you confessed. " I know it's not very convincing, but I need you to trust me-"

He raised a brow at that and his lips turned into a smirk. God, you wished you could swipe off that smirk from his stupidly handsome face.

"But you don't trust me, " you stated dejectedly and started turning around. "You wanted something? "

In an instant, his hand wrapped around your wrist gently, stopping you in your tracks. You ignored the involuntary shudder that ran through you and immediately yanked your hand out of his grasp.

You turned around and were about to give him a piece of your mind about how he shouldn't just come to your place of work and touch you without consent. He clearly guessed your thoughts and cut in.

"Clint Barton, the manager, he will tell you everything you need to know about bartending and handling the customers."

Did he just hire you? What changed between this and your previous meeting with him?

And just like that, he left. There was a part of you that wanted to say fuck off I don't need your help, but you knew better, so you went to that club later that evening. You found the Manager, Clint. He told you he was expecting your arrival and that made you feel weird because Mr. Barnes was totally opposite the day you met.

Your new job required you to be at work from 8 pm to 3 am, which was ideal for you. You usually reach home and pass out till 4 in the morning and wake up around noon. This schedule gave you a lot of time to work on your book.

You ended up making friends with some other people that work there as well. Wanda was the smart, sarcastic one that you'd have died to have as a friend in high school. Pietro, her twin brother, was also nice, a bit fast and impatient, but he was nice to you. Peter looked very young, but he knew what he was doing and he'd help you out a lot. That kid had a lot of energy and adrenaline, which surprised you every time he'd be done with work way before you.

You didn't see Mr. Barnes frequently. You saw him one time entering the club, and you tried to give him a smile which he ignored and went straight to his office upstairs. And then you decided to ignore him as well. It wasn't like you to be petty, okay, maybe you were being petty, but in your defense, he started it.

You were finishing up cleaning the table and were about to call it a day when a man you didn't recognize, probably wasn't a regular, came in asking for a drink.

"I'm sorry, sir. We're closed." You told him politely.

"Whiskey on the rocks."

You wanted to refuse him again, but you stopped yourself when he came into your sight. He didn't look like the kind of man who'd take your no seriously. He looked just as intimidating as Mr. Barnes, even more, but Mr. Barnes knew his boundaries, whereas this man in front of you evidently didn't. You could tell this by the way his gaze was slowly taking your body in and stopping a little longer at your cleavage.

You wanted to cringe and curse yourself for choosing to wear a top like that in a place filled with drunk men. The smarter part of your brain told you that he can go fuck himself, and you shouldn't think about men when you dress up. Women are entitled to wear whatever they want to and fuck men and people who tell them otherwise.

Carefully, you made his drink and handed it to him. His hand lingered on yours while taking the glass from you, and you wanted to just throw the drink across his face. His gaze remained on your chest even when you fixed your top and coughed twice to call his behavior out.

"What time do you get off?" he asked, eyes still on your chest.

Is this guy for real? , you thought.

"Um, this is highly inappropriate and I think you should leave now because I have to call it a night." you rejected politely, raising your hand towards the door, hoping he'd leave.

He chuckled darkly, his stare still drinking in your body as if you were a piece of meat, and it made you very, very uncomfortable. He obviously wasn't taking no for an answer, and you had no clue what to do. You were the only person left, and you didn't even know who to ask for help.

"Come on, baby girl," he said, walking towards you and forcefully snaking his hands around your waist to settle on your hips. " Don't make this harder than it should be. "

"No!" you yelled, pushing him away and creating some distance between you.

"Hard way it is then," he decided, walking towards you and forcefully holding the hem of your shirt in his hands to remove it. You struggled, yelled, and pushed him off you again. He furiously lunged forward towards you and hit you hard across the face. "Fucking bitch."

"Rumlow!" a voice boomed from behind you, and you hated yourself for being in such a vulnerable state. As much as you tried not to, tears welled up in your eyes and you hated being the helpless damsel in distress.

"Get the fuck out of here." the familiar voice ordered.

"Chill, Barnes. We were just having a little fun," the man known as Rumlow reasoned nonchalantly. "Besides, it's not my fault if she wears clothes like this."

You were all about feminism and how women should be treated equally with respect despite their attire, but at that moment you hated yourself for choosing that deep-neck shirt this morning.

"I'm not going to chill while you sexually harass my employees, so get the fuck out of here," Mr. Barnes warned again.

You closed your eyes and hoped that maybe this was a shitty dream and you'd wake up in your bed and have an anxiety attack because of the nightmare. You hoped that maybe the ground beneath you would open up and swallow you, so you could just not think about this ever.

You heard two sets of footsteps faintly in the background, one dragging its way away from you and the other rushing towards you. Furthermore, you didn't have it in you to open your eyes and meet the ocean blue ones that you knew were waiting for you.

In your head, you had already taken up the blame. The verdict came out the moment his gaze landed on your chest that it was your fault that you wore this shirt. Of course, if you were thinking right, you would have realized that you were undoubtedly the victim here and Rumlow was an asshole who assaulted you, but in your helpless state, your mind decided you were at fault here.

TAGS: @bananapipedreams​

[moth-flowers]

cw: talking about gender and dysphoria and stuff, it’s not very detailed, but it’s there

(long post)

i want to talk about my experiences with (what i assume to be) gender dsyphoria bc i think my experiences are a bit different. Also, I hope that in writing this, someone can point to it like “ah!! this is the thing, this is what i’m feeling,” or at least be able to know that they’re feeling not this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    there’s an analogy i see pretty often about trans/nonbinary people feeling like they are wearing a costume when they have to be/present as their AGAB, and i didn’t relate to it until I started to present in a (semi) hyper masculine way.

    i don’t know if being hella masc made me more aware of feminine features that i dislike, or if it’s because i don’t enjoy looking that masculine, but either way, i was uncomfortable, and i didn’t feel like myself.

    i felt like i was *forcing* myself to dress/be more masc, even though I didn’t really enjoy it - i didn’t feel like myself.**  I was starting to understand the costume analogy; presenting like this made me uncomfortable and felt like a costume I didn’t know how to wear. and... I felt like before i started questioning, I was more comfortable with myself and how i existed.

    that last line was bugging me. i was more comfortable before, but why was I more comfortable? what changed? then I realized something important that I was overlooking.

    see, i grew up with the idea of “you can’t control what other people think of you, so try not to care to much how people see you (unless it’s people who are important to you/close to you).” and for a lot of things, i followed that idea. i would wear whatever the fuck i wanted (which was usually clothes that are considered casually masc-ish), and usually referred to myself with words that were more masc/ambiguous, such as “ya boye” (added the “e” because I was worried people would be weird about me calling myself a boy), “father,” “person,” “spouse,” “dude,” “bro,” etc.  i didn’t care a whole bunch about what other people thought of me being more masculine than the “other” girls, I was just out there straight vibing. people would call me things like “girlie,” or “homegirl” or say things like “woman, what do you think you’re doing! (jokingly)” and I would mostly not think about it, save for a few times that i wished people would call me bro instead of sis because I liked it better

    “but its whatever!” i would think “i can’t change what they call me, and it’s not that bad anyways. also my friend group that uses dude and bro as terms of endearment almost exclusively makes me way more comfortable and happy, but that’s just because of the ~vibes~ and the ~connotations~ of it!” (which is partially true and absolutely chill if that’s how someone/their friend group is operating, but for me it is/was not all there was to it).

    but when I started questioning my gender, I had to start thinking about how people perceived me. i started paying attention to what people said, gender wise, how they saw me as a girl, and as female, and as a woman. and I had to consider, i mean really consider, what these things actually meant, what were they imagining me as.

    and the more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I became. they weren’t calling me the right things. they never did, no matter how masculine I looked (turns out that the idea “women aren’t less of women if they like masculine things/present in a masculine way!” kind of flew over my head, but not over theirs). i just didn’t realize they were doing this because I was ignoring it. I’ve always been myself as much as I could be, and tried not to think too much about it.

so, it’s not that my AGAB was a costume.

it’s that other people saw me in a costume I didn’t even know I was wearing.

** (the reason for doing this was bc i wanted to pass more, but it didn’t really do that. it was still a good experience though, in the sense that now I can look at that kind of presentation and know it’s not for me, and that it’s totally fine. that’s what experimentation is for, afterall :)! )

[edgysaintjust]

For the historical figure ask: I'm sure people will send you Saint-Just, sooooooo Tadeusz Kosciusko, if not already done ;) or Saint-Just, if nobody asked XD

Why not both? >:))

Saint-Just.

• Why I like them: His loyalty takes a first place here - it's a trait I treasure most in all people. I appreciate a young and brave revolutionary who was able to take a stance even before he could get into politics. Man knew what he wanted, and he not only wished to get into politics to make the world a better place - he didn't hestiate to take direct action. His political works are thoughtful and logical. I would dare to say he was also one of the few Jacobins who actually had a well-constructed plan for the future republic.

• Why I don't: We would not get along and I know it, it's a personality matter. His views often bother me, and not in terms of the revolution alone; in institutions republicaines, he gets too much into people's personal lives and I believe it's going way too far in many cases. He explains how exactly the kids should be raised, what should they eat and what occupation they can choose. He insists that women of cetrain age cannot take walks alone on holidays. I mean, why did he care? It's not your business what a young lady is doing in her free time, get your ass together Antoine.

• Favorite ancectode: growing a moustache with Le Bas this concept is so cursed

• Favorite quote (from them or about them): If all people are free, all are equal. If they are equal, they are just and To dare: that is the secret of all revolutions.

• BROTP: SJ, Elisabeth and Le Bas trio! Also, whatever was between him and Maximillien, obviously.

• OTP: Once again, whatever was between him and Maximillien 👀 but I also wish it could have worked out for him and Therese.

• an-oh-god-why-did-that-have-to-happen: I wish he was a bit nicer to his mother. She must have been hurt.

• Unpopular opinion: His views were not that similar to Robespierre's. Well yes, I'm aware that it doesn't sound like an opinion, rather like ignoring the facts which I want to avoid - but I really think that in general the implied similarity is often exaggerated.

• A wish 5 words to best describe them: stoic, determinated, idealistic, bright and loyal.

• My nickname for them: none really, I just call him Antoine or SJ depending on my current mood ;))

• If you could say one thing to them: "You contributed more than you could have thought to the world I currently live in. Thank you. It was worth it."

• Favourite portrayal of them: SJ in la terreur et la vertu was extremely pretty

• LEAST favourite portrayal of them: the bbc documentary greasy emo SJ that still haunts me at night

Tadeusz Kosciuszko

• Why I like them: Mans had a true heart of a Revolutionary. He believed that a country can only rise from the ashes thanks to the commoners and the proletariat, and sought help not in the governments, but in the people. Incredibly inteligent and logical, but also a huge flirt. After the American Revolution he wished for his money to be distributed to liberate and educate the black community in the USA and he openly opposed slavery. To some point he also strongly supported the French Revolution, seeing it as a chance to democratize and liberate the world. Just like Robespierre he sought political power, but not for his personal gain and pleasure but to be heard and free the people. Unlike most Polish people he believed that politics should be separated from religion and so should the laws and education. One cannot possibly hate such man ;))

• Why I don't: Fled from Paris after the Jacobins and Girondins started their beef, lowkey wish he stayed here for a while to see what could happen. Also, he became a dictator for one uprising. It was more of a Roman dictatorship than the modern one, meaning he was only taking the position for a sole purpose of leading an uprising, but still doesn't sit right with me.

• Favorite ancectode: straight up told Napoleon to fuck off, what a king.

• Favorite quote (from them or about them):

I will not fight for the nobility alone, I want freedom for the whole nation and I will only set my life for them.

• BROTP: hard to tell.

• OTP: i'm not able to give you an answer on that one too ://

• an-oh-god-why-did-that-have-to-happen: Well, his uprising didn't work out. In fact, it was a complete failure.

• Unpopular opinion: I have none, I just adore this guy that's all.

• A wish 5 words to best describe them: thoughtful, flirty, brave, adventurous and companionable.

• My nickname for them: I simply call him Tadek, which is a pet form of his name, Thaddeus / Tadeusz.

• If you could say one thing to them: honestly sth about Napoleon we'd roast the hell out of him together he hated this guy lmaooo

• Favourite portrayal of them: i believe there is only one movie featuring him as a leading character but it's from the 1930s so ofc it's quite adorable. Link to the film with eng subs.

LEAST favourite portrayal of them: none. I jump around like a little girl whenever he's mentioned somewhere

[babymetaldoll]

Spilling drinks on my settee (Spencer Reid/Reader)

Prompt: Start a story with "Can you keep a secret?"

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Reader 

Word count: 2,8K

Genre: Fluff

Warning: none 

Summary: Spencer is drunk with Morgan, finally sharing his feelings for Reader 

Part two

Masterlist

- “Can you keep a secret?”

Spencer was drunk. He leaned over Derek tapping on his shoulder a few times, making him chuckle at the scene. Dr. Reid was never the one to go out, less going to a bar and have a few too many drinks. Hell no! He could be the designated driver for life, if only he liked to drive. When he joined his BAU friends on their nights out, he would usually stick with a whisky that could last the whole night, or even left untouched at the table after he left. But that night, Spencer Walter Reid was drunk as a skunk. Wasted. And his best friend was the only witness.

- “Ok kid, tell me your secret”

- “I'm in love”- the words came like a slur out of his lips, the ones that curled into a guilty smile- Stupid, crazy, and irrevocably in love.

- “No shit!”- Derek pretended to be surprised, but he would have been a lousy profiler if he had missed the look on his best friend's face in the latest months. He nearly had hearts draw on his eyes, like a cartoon.

- “Yesss”- he made that "s" sound longer than it should have and closed his eyes for a few seconds- “Yes, I am.”

Morgan was still chuckling as he stared at the kid. He was still a kid for him, though he was already 30. He still acted like one, still shy, inexperienced. He had more attitude on his job now, on the field, with the unsubs, his pairs. But in his personal life... well, that was a whole different story.

- “Do you want to know who she is?”- Reid whispered and brought a finger to his lips.

- “But shhhh! you can't tell anyone 'cos it's a secret”- it was getting harder for Morgan to remain serious at that conversation, but he managed to keep his poker face and nodded at his friend.

- “But you can't tell Penelope 'cos she is going to tell the whole FBI! I'm sure!”

- “I won't tell her”

- “When I told her I was afraid of the dark, everybody ended up making fun of me...”

- “I swear I won't, kid”- Derek nodded and reassured his best friend he could trust him. He knew it was hard for Reid to talk about his feelings, that was probably why he had gotten that drunk to share them.

It had been unusual when Spencer walked over to Derek and asked if he wanted to get a drink with him after work. It was weirder when he said he wanted it to be just the two of them instead of the whole team, cos "he had some serious business" he wanted to share with him.

- “I'm in love with (Y/N)”- and yes, Derek was right. Spencer wanted to talk about the obvious.

The whole team knew he was in love with (Y/N). It was crystal clear. It was so obvious even Strauss had joked about it with Rossi once. Yes, Spencer's feelings were so clear and visible, everybody was aware of his love.

Everyone but (Y/N), apparently.

Derek knew ('cos it was a well-established fact that Penelope couldn't keep a secret) that (Y/N) was sure Spencer wasn't interested in her. Garcia had tried to convince her their genius was head over feet for her, but Reid had made an excellent job in looking uninterested in her.

Why? 'cos he was stupid, and it had nothing to do with his high IQ. It was simply 'cos he was scared. Petrified by the idea he could lose her, so he had made sure his actions were nothing but friendly with her. They were best friends ever since they met, over six years ago when they both had started in the BAU, but despite their feelings, none of them had acted on them.

- “No way!”- Derek pretended to be shocked, and Spencer was so drunk he didn't get Morgan's sarcasm. Instead, he nodded and sighed.

- “Yes, I love her... I am in love, I think about her all day long when I'm not with her, and when she is around, I can't stop staring, she is the sun and I orbit around her existence.”

Derek widened his eyes as he listened to the corniest words he had ever heard Spencer pronounce before.

- “And I need help, 'cos I don't know what to do about it”

- “I think you should tell her, kid”- but Spencer shook his head frantically as if his friend had asked him to do the worst thing he could have ever thought.

- “No man, really, you've got a pretty good chance there, and you don't wanna live in the regret of thinking what could have been if you had done anything”

- “No, Morgan, I can't, I can't do that”- Spencer nearly started shaking at his best friend's suggestion. The fact he was being honest about his feelings to his friend was one thing, but sharing those feelings with the woman of his dreams, that wasn't on his plans.

Why? He couldn't find a good reason to do it. As far as he knew, letting (Y/N) know he loved her as no one had ever loved her before, could only mean the end of their friendship. And Spencer could live having (Y/N) only as his friend for the rest of his life, though it would break his heart deeper and deeper every day. But he couldn't live not having her by his side. He knew he couldn't. And he was sure if he revealed his true feelings to her, she was going to leave his side and disappear, end their friendship, and ignore his existence for the rest of his life.

Yes, Spencer was being dramatic, but he was scared. His mind kept telling him as soon as he told her how much he loved her, (Y/N) was going to disappear from his life as fast as everyone he cared for had done before.

- “If you don't want to tell her, then what's your plan, kid?”- Morgan asked the one million dollar question. Spencer just stared at him and took a sip of his whiskey.

- “I don't know”

- “Shit!”- Derek nearly shouted- “That's the first time I ever hear you say such a thing! man!”

- “Shut up! I don't know why I'm telling you this, I knew you were gonna make fun of me”

Spencer rested his head on his arm on the table and closed his eyes.

- “I just thought 'cos you are so smooth with women, maybe you could help me”

- “I can help you, Reid, I can, you just have to be open to the idea of telling her how you feel”

- “How can I tell her? she is gonna hate me”

- “She won't!”- Morgan tapped on his friend's back again and tried to calm him down.

- “How do you know?! You have never been rejected by any woman ever since I met you!”- but it didn't work, mostly because there was nothing on earth that could calm Spencer down at that point.

- “I know she likes you”

- “Sure, right!”- Reid snorted and finished what was left in his glass- “I need another one.”

- “You need to slow down, maybe get some water and fresh air”- Morgan stopped him when he tried to get to the bar and pulled him back to his seat

- “No, no no, you don't get it, Morgan, she went on a date with some random guy from a dating website...”

And Morgan realized where his friend's fears were coming from.

- “She is looking for someone, and clearly that someone ain't me!”

- “Maybe she is looking for someone to stop thinking about you”- Spencer furrowed his brows at Derek's words and stared at his hands on the table for a moment.

- “Come on man! you have to give yourself some credit! you are smart, you are funny, she is always laughing when she is around you”

- “At me! laughing at me! everybody laughs at me!”- for someone so smart, Dr. Reid was acting like an ass.

- “With you! be real, she is the girl who laughs at your jokes, listens to your rambling for hours, and actually pays attention to what you say”- Reid nodded, thinking of the sound of her laughter- “And you two spend most of your weekends off together!”

- “Clearly, she doesn't want to do that anymore, if she is looking for guys on dating apps”- Reid sounded bitter and hurt, two things he had never been very good at dealing with.

- “Why don't you ask her?”- Derek knew what Spencer was going to answer at that, the same he had said when he told him to be honest with her about his feelings: "No way". But instead, he only got a deep silence back.

- “Reid?”

- “You know what? I'm gonna ask her”- he whispered and nodded at himself- “I wanna ask her if she doesn't want to spend time with me anymore”

Morgan widened his eyes in shock.

- “And I'm gonna ask her now!”

- “Wait, kid”- but this time, he couldn't stop him, Reid grabbed his sachet, his jacket and stormed out of the bar, stumbling against a few people on his way out, 'cos he was too drunk to walk straight.

- “Kid! come one, wait!”

Derek followed him as fast as he could and grabbed his arm as he walked to her house. (Y/N) lived a few blocks from the bar, Reid didn't need a cab to get there, and he decided to face her and ask her why she didn't want to spend time with him anymore.

Of course, that wasn't the reason (Y/N) had gone out on that date. She actually wanted to spend all of her free time with him, but Prentiss had her forced to go out after hearing she hadn't been out in at least two years. Two years without a date. Two years actually without sex. Emily nearly died at the news, she couldn't believe anyone could live like that, and so, she forced her friend out with some random guy from a website.

- “There's no way you are spending another Friday night on your own! you need to have fun!”

- “I'm not gonna spend Friday night on my own! Friday nights are board game nights with Reid”- Prentiss frowned and crossed her arms on her chest staring at (Y/N) pouting.

- “Whatever it is you are thinking, please don't say it”

- “Boardgames with Reid, please tell me that means he is fucking your brains off on his dining table on top of a monopoly board”- (Y/N) wished her friend was right, but no.

- “Actually... no, it's Jenga night”

- “You are so going out this weekend!”

And she did, not Friday night, but Saturday afternoon. And it had been one of the worst dates (Y/N) had ever been on. Just like she had said that day back in the office, the guy was cute but dumb. On his behalf, she was in love with Spencer Walter Reid, any guy on earth was going to look dumb compared to him. But to be honest, he wasn't really bright either. And (Y/N) wasn't into him at all. They had a coffee, went to see a movie, and called it the night.

Spencer had no idea about that date, she never wanted to tell him 'cos it meant nothing to her. But after hearing the story of the date earlier that day, Spencer was a mess. He didn't know what to think, and that was the reason he was out there, drunk, asking Derek for advice.

He had tried to avoid her for the rest of the afternoon, he was upset, and he knew he was going to be passive-aggressive if they shared any word - he couldn't help it even when he knew he didn't have to act that way- and so, he didn't look from his paperwork until it was time to leave.

It was a good thing they were swamped with work, and (Y/N) didn't notice her best friend was giving him the cold shoulder from a safe distance.

- “Reid, Reid, wait!”- Morgan grabbed his best friend's arm and stopped him in his tracks- “What are you doing? you can't talk to her like this!”

- “I want to know! I deserve to know!”

- “Kid, you are drunk, you are not thinking straight”

- “Or am I?”- Spencer was slurring and his eyes were half-closed. Still, he knew what he was doing. He was making a mistake on purpose 'cos at that point, he was desperate.

- “Come on man, you are not thinking this, (Y/N) never said she is going out 'cos she doesn't want to spend her time you with you, those are your insecurities talking”

- “If she didn't do it because of that, then why?”- but Morgan couldn't answer, not because he didn't know the answer, but because Reid's retchings forced him to help him and pull his scarf and sachet back as he started puking in the middle of the sidewalk.

- “I think I'm gonna take you home now, kid”

Spencer felt like shit. He wasn't only drunk, but also miserable. He hated getting intoxicated like his, but he had no idea what else to do. He was lost and scared and wretched. He thought talking with Derek was gonna help, but he didn't know what to expect from his friend anyway, the only advice he got from Morgan was sharing his feelings with (Y/N), but... Reid knew he wasn't doing that, not in this life. Not if it meant he could lose her.

- “What the hell is going on here?”- (Y/N)'s voice felt like cold water running down Spencer's spine. He paused his puking for a second to look at her, and kind of smiled.

- “Oh! hey Buttercup!”- and that was all he could say before he continued vomiting.

- “Derek?”- the woman was shocked, had Spencer just called her by a cute nickname? she had always done it with him, he was her honey bunny, but he had never done it before... and she loved it- “What the fuck?”

- “Hey pretty girl!”- Morgan did his best to play it cool, though he was also freaking out. He knew (Y/N) wasn't going to be happy to know he let Spencer get that drunk. He was aware it wasn't his fault (not completely), but he also knew she was going to blame him anyway.

- “Why is Spencer drunk and puking on the front steps of my building?”

- “There's a very logical explanation for this”- Derek tried to elaborate on that idea, but nothing came to his head.

- “We had a few drinks”- Reid whispered and sighed, after everything he had eaten and drank had left his stomach.

- “Did you know alcohol is essentially a toxin, and so it can easily upset your stomach and cause you to vomit, particularly if you consume too much?”

Of course, being drunk didn't stop Spencer from being himself. After all, he didn't know how to be anybody else.

- “And now I'm taking him home”- Derek wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulder and looked around, trying to find a cab.

- “But what are you guys doing here?”- (Y/N) wasn't getting what was going on, and she was honestly concerned Spencer was intoxicated. She knew he lived alone, no one was going to take care of him.

- “Honey, do you wanna come inside?”

- “Yes, yes, I do”- Reid didn't hesitate- “We should go inside”

- “No, you are drunk, you are going to your house”- Derek didn't let Spencer move, knowing he was too drunk to have a coherent conversation with (Y/N), and making his best to prevent him from making a huge mistake. 

Morgan knew she was in love with him, but he didn't want him to talk to her under the influence, he knew it was something Spencer was going to regret in the morning.

- “Are you sure you don't wanna let him stay here?”- the girl asked and bit her lip, worried- “He can stay on my couch...”

- “He's gonna be ok, I'll take care of him”- Morgan smiled at (Y/N) and nodded- “It's my fault he is like this, I'm not gonna let you clean this mess.”

Her lips curled into a short smile. She looked at her best friend wasted, puke on his pants and shoes. His hair was a mess - a mess she wanted to run her fingers through, even when he was intoxicated - and his brow eyes were glassy. Even drunk he was gorgeous.

- “I'll call you tomorrow, ok?”- she whispered and Spencer nodded- “And I'll see you at work... I'll bring aspirins and coffee”- he kept nodding, feeling sick at the stomach again.

Derek stopped a cab and helped Reid in as (Y/N) stood at the sidewalk staring at her friends leaving.

- “What the fuck just happened?”

- “You owe me, kid”- Reid heard those words as he hugged his pillow and closed his eyes. He was on his bed, still fully dressed. He had only managed to take out his satchel and his shoes.

- “I wanted to stay over”- he murmured, making Morgan chuckle. The kid was acting like one.

- “Believe me, you'll thank me in the morning”

[burnedbyshoto]

this isn’t any hate at all but what’s ur response to this? i’m curious.

mmm well tbh I’m not sure why this needs my response because i’m one of hundred of thousands 18+ content creators within the bnha fandom who strictly doesn’t want minor interaction. but you want my opinion and my opinion is what you shall get.

in case you did not watch the tiktok linked above, i’ll give you a rundown of what it was. a person standing in front of the camera with a judging, puritan look on their face with an audio clip of children screaming-singing as the text on the screen reads:

with of course a caption reading: that’s something that will never make sense to me.

okay! so content of the video is covered! now for my opinion :)

the person is of course free to feel however it is they wish to feel (I did not look anything about about the content creator nor do I wish to so I will use gn pronouns in case) but we should all be vividly and extremely aware that I do not agree.

there’s obviously a certain type of disconnect between their thinking and my thinking. whereas they give a puritan, human right to fictional characters, I say fuck these pixels and make them anything and everything you want them to be. I will not continue fighting this battle of how fictional characters have no rights because they aren’t human. if they want to believe that these characters are somehow affected by works where they are noncon’d or killed or thrown into the ocean then that’s on them. I believe that this shit will never harm the characters because they’re fake, and so long as I warn the actual living humans who are reading my content, I am in the right.

“shouto breathed in deeply, but too deeply, and snorted a peanut, killing him instantaneously.”

OH NO! SHOUTO IS DEAD!

“shouto revived because his cock is too fat and god gave him another shot.”

oh LOL! spoke too soon! he’s alive!

how can he die and instantly revive? oh I don’t know cuz he’s not real! that’s it!

now let’s talk about adults within fandoms, especially in fandoms that garner a lot of children/less than 18 year olds attention.

imma say this while laughing because i’m sorry but minors and even adults who try to be cool fandom moms for the children have this mindset that if you say “18+ minors dni” that means immediately you have to be a porn hub central. more often than not, these accounts probably do have porn and smut and what not, but it’s not the only reason. there are some very strong and obvious adult content. drugs, alcohol, abuse, and things like marriage are very adult like topics. now i’m not trying to say that minors don’t experience these things, but when someone is simply talking about how they want to go smoke some weed or go drink, they don’t want to see minors on their page liking shit, commenting shit, or whatever.

minors have the habit of either saying they agree which is awkward as an adult or being this puritan shit that screams about how sex is bad, drugs are worse, alcohol is a sin, and how fictional characters are hurting and are in abusive and toxic relationships because you wrote or drew deku taking kacchans dick up his ass.

some adults also need to do this to protect themselves. it’s a warning that what’s on their page, what’s on their content is a clear and unmissable symbol that this isn’t for kids even if the content of the show is aimed for kids. we should all know that by the time you reach your 20’s that you’re not going to wither off and die, that you’re not going to be stuck in the kitchen or in the office, we are aware that taxes and bills don’t take years of concentration to do, and that adults whether they are 25 or 80 have hobbies and interests outside of work.

fan content is something that many people love to do. adult women have been the pioneers and trailblazers to things such as 18+ content for years. as adults, trust me when I say that we don’t want to simply write fluff and one shot romances with only a sweet soft buildup. of course there are people who do that, and that’s all good, but adults are allowed to do whatever the hell they want to with anime characters because they simply do not exist.

I have a major lady boner for todoroki shouto, midoriya izuku, and bakugou katsuki all three of which are technically minors within their universe, so you will hear me once more say that I am not within their universe, they are not human, therefore my works do not and will never hurt them. for that I am able to write 18+ content and because of previous minors who have come onto my blog waving puritan flags and “you’re too old for this get a life” flags, I deemed it best to put up the 18+ minors dni because they were now infringing on my ability to create content in the light hearted way I want to do. if you look back at my content, they all have adult themes to them, even if it isn’t smut. I am just past the bump in the road where I feel like I need to direct my things at people who are simply unwilling to see my work and scream bloody murder in my ears & will gladly take on all adults who want to spew bullshit about how fictional characters are real and can feel things.

that’s my opinion. feel free to agree or disagree. but the original creator is a straight up acting like a gate keeping puritan. let people create what they want for fiction, even if you don’t agree.

[the-hopeless-haze]

Oh, My Precious Whore

A/N: didn’t really think I’d ever be posting fic on here again… but I am tired and need a distraction so… have this as a treat

Pairing: Claire Underwood x f!reader, implied Duncan Shepherd x f!reader

CW: derogatory pet names, implied smut (will not occur in full until the next part)

Description: idk this is just pure filth bc there’s a severe lack of f!reader fic and… Robin Wright is hot af. Also had to throw in some Duncan in there bc I love Cody Fern

Maybe you should feel worse right now about what you’re doing, but you don’t.

You, at the very least, should feel scared. The Underwoods, or well, Underwood... she was a powerful woman and if you stepped a millimeter out of place your life was likely in danger. Or so they said. Your in-laws were wary of her, you know, but she was wary of them, too. You think. She’s a difficult woman to read.

The rumors concerning the crimes her late husband supposedly committed are lengthy and convoluted, but you suspect they hold some truth to them. Most rumors usually aren’t based totally in fiction. Her husband was truly a ruthless motherfucker. Claire... Claire doesn’t seem to be ruthless. Nor does she seem to be what you would describe as a motherfucker.

No, she’s a cold hearted bitch. A bitter, sociopathic cunt.

But you never wanted what was good for you.

Sometimes, you swear you love Duncan and you wish it was easier to convince yourself. He a good husband, all things considered. Perhaps a little too focused on work, but... he treats you well to make up for it. He is loyal to a fault, if anyone ever was. You met him through a friend, and though it makes you feel guilty you used him in a vain attempt to get closer to Annette.

But Annette didn’t swing your way, as she told you in not so many words. Or, rather, she said, “Just be a good pet and marry my son. You on his arm will do well for everyone all around. Your dalliances on the side are no one’s business as long as you keep them secret enough that not even Duncan finds out.”

So you agreed, and accepted his proposal you figured she no doubt hounded him into. It’s not so much that you don’t like men, you do, and Duncan is such an attractive man, and he’s a thorough lover... it’s just you suppose you have a preference for women. Older women. You used to joke in high school that you wanted to be a high-end escort for rich older women getting away from their CEO husbands for the weekend.

But your parents would have never approved of that plan. So you went to law school instead. Which was fine. You make decent money without Duncan, but with him you’re somewhat of a young, hot power couple. You’re not really interested in policy the way his family is - you just like ingratiating yourself amongst these people with influence. You get off on brushing shoulders with the powerful. Parties don’t mean much to you. Everyone is truly an evil son of a bitch, no matter what they say when the cameras are on. No one cares about progress, not unless it’s self-serving.

The first time you met Claire, you thought you might die. She barely gave Duncan a second glance but you? She stood and chatted with you about your latest case your firm had taken - how she knew about it among all the other things on her mind, you don’t know - but it was a pleasant conversation, all things considered. You know her and Annette used to be close. You wonder how much Claire does know about you.

You know you can’t trust her. At all.

But after that incident, Duncan grinned and shook his head. “Wouldn’t want to give credence to those rumors. She might have it out for you.”

“Rumors?” You asked, panicking already. Did he know?

“That Claire is a lesbian. It’s been floating around some circles, that that’s why she wasn’t truly upset at her husband’s death, that that’s why she’s pushing so hard for female rights. It’s interesting. It is the first time I met her, but having done so it wouldn’t entirely surprise me.”

You can tell. That woman probably isn’t a lesbian, or if she is, she’s very good at utilizing her charm to make it seem as though she’s not. If anything, you’d peg her as asexual. She uses sex as a weapon. Fair enough. You’ve seen even weaker women feel the need to use it.

You wonder if she’s ever had sex purely for herself and not for manipulation purposes.

You wonder if she could even do that. You reckon you don’t really care if you found out the hard way.

It’s a few weeks later that you receive a message stating the President required your audience. And you know you should tell Annette, or Duncan at the very least, but you don’t. You know you shouldn’t show up at all. But Annette said to keep your dalliances secret. So secret they will stay.

“How loyal are you to the Shepherds?” Claire asks when you arrive. Straight to the point. Good.

“As loyal as I have to appear,” you tell her.

Claire smiles a little. “Why did you marry Duncan? He doesn’t seem quite your type.”

“And what do you presume my type is?”

“Perhaps more feminine. Older.”

“Mm. And what is your type, Ms President?”

“Why did you marry him? Did Annette threaten to out you?” she repeats.

“Not in so many words,” you say.

“Hmm. Interesting. He has no idea, I presume?”

“Why did you call me here?” you ask, your anxiety getting the better of you.

“I need information on the Shepherds. And I believe I have something you’d want in return.”

Your head starts spinning, but no, spinning is an understatement. It’s fucking doing somersaults. You cannot believe what she’s proposing.

“You want to prostitute yourself to me for information?”

And Claire does the last thing you ever expected the bitch to do. She walks across the room and slaps you across the face. Hard enough to sting, but not as hard as you bet she could. You feel the cold metal of her wedding ring press against your cheek as she grabs your chin, her cold blue eyes piercing through to your soul. “Don’t you dare fucking accuse the president of the United States of debasement, and don’t ever assume you have the upper hand.”

“Claire—“

“Are we on first name basis, slut?” she asks, her hand slithering down to your throat. Holy shit, you think. This bitch might actually fucking kill me. You think you’d care more if this wasn’t possibly the hottest thing that ever happened to you. “I didn’t think so. Now. What are your loyalties? Who are you closest to?”

“Duncan, obviously. Annette lets her guard down around me because she likes that I think she’s hot, but she still doesn’t like me. Bill and I don’t get along.”

“Interesting. How much does Duncan know?”

“I know more than Duncan.”

“Really, now? Are you just saying that? Because if you don’t prove to be useful...”

“What? You’ll kill me?”

Claire laughs. “No, you’re much more fun to me alive. But tell me… do you know where Duncan came from?”

“I mean, I truly don’t know how Annette’s cunt could birth anything, given how much of a bitch she is, but…”

Claire smiles. “Yes. Much more fun alive. Duncan is not her child.”

“Well, that’s a relief I don’t have any chance of keeping the Shepherd bloodline alive,” you snicker. “Where did he come from, then?”

“I’ll tell you… in time. But you have to tell him, too. In front of Annette and Bill. I want them all to know.”

“They’ll skin me alive if they knew I was here.”

“Do you want to fuck me or not? These are my terms.”

“So that is why I’m here?”

She only smirks at you, the wrinkles around her blue eyes crinkling as she does. “Your attraction to me is far more interesting than... well, men are pigs, right? I’m sure you are well aware. But you, you look at me like you want to fuck me, sure, but you also know your place. You respect me, even if you try to talk back. Men don’t know any better.”

“Have you ever slept with a woman before?”

She only smiles. “Does it matter?”

“Just wanted to know if there was credence to the rumors.”

“Rumors? You’re quite bold. I’m the one with my hand...wrapped around your throat.”

“It’d be pretty messy for you if you killed me right now,” you retort, wincing and rubbing your legs together as she increases the pressure on your neck.

“You’ll learn not to talk back, whore. To think you’re a married woman...”

“Yeah? Did you hold your marriage sacrosanct?”

There’s that smile again. She’s beautiful, ethereal, but there’s something so inhumane about the way her lips move upward to smirk at you. Maybe you should learn to shut your mouth, but you always were a brat. Besides, it’s more fun this way.

“I did.”

“Liar,” you accuse, smirking at her as you do, and she lets go of your throat and before you can miss the feeling too much she slaps your face again, the right cheek this time, much harder than the first time. You let out a startled, strangled moan on impulse, stumbling back a little against the wall.

“Oh, did that hurt?” she coos at you condescendingly, fixing a piece of your hair that fell out of place as you stand back up, pressing your back flat against the wall for stability. Claire crosses her arms and stands directly in front of you.

“I can take it. I can take more than that,” you say boldly.

“Oh? What else do you like, slut?”

“You name it, I’m game.”

“Anything? Handcuffs? Whips? Knives?”

You nod at everything she comes up with. Jesus, you would let this woman carve out your heart if she wanted it.

“If I make you bleed?”

“Better.”

“Interesting. Does Duncan play these little games with you?”

You laugh. “No.”

“You only want a woman to do these things to you?”

“Precisely. Are you kinky, Madam President?”

“Whatever my partner requires... I make certain I provide.”

“But what do you want?”

“I’m a hard woman to please.”

“Oh. Is that the kind way of saying Frank wasn’t good in bed?” you ask, feigning sympathy. She only smirks again. “I’m surprised you didn’t slap me for that. He must have really been awful.”

“You think you could do better?”

“Women do everything better,” you laugh, earning perhaps the only genuine smile you’ve gotten from this woman the whole time. “That’s why I wanted to know if you’ve been with a woman...”

“No. But I’ve thought about it. Never had a woman as interested as you.”

“I find that very hard to believe. Maybe you just never noticed. What gave it away?” You’re aching for her to touch you again, give you anything, even pain, but she stands still in front of you.

“I can just tell. Besides, I was interested to meet you. You’re the Shepherd’s weak link. I knew Annette didn’t vet you carefully enough.”

“Are you saying me being gay is an issue?”

“Are you so naive to think it wouldn’t be, given the state of this country?” she retorts. “But that’s not all. I can tell you don’t like them. I could tell you were easy... on more than one account.”

You roll your eyes. “I fucking hate Bill. I mean it’s awful to say, he’s not doing well physically, but he’s just made life a living hell for me.”

“Why?” she asks, tilting her head to the side.

“I don’t know. Maybe he hates gay people. Maybe he hates women. Both. Don’t know.”

“So everyone knows but Duncan? Funny how he’s kept out of all the good family secrets that concern him.”

You sigh. “See, sexuality’s a funny thing. I like Duncan. I do. And sometimes sex with him is good if not great. He’s a good partner. But I just prefer women.”

“Must be nice to have it figured out. Your generation did have it easier.”

You look at her questioningly. You never thought someone like her was human enough to struggle with such a thing, but perhaps that’s an unfair assessment.

Or she’s playing you.

Still. She’d have to be quite a good player - not that you should underestimate her skill - to talk about something as personal as her struggles with sexuality. Straight people just don’t get it. Would she really be this easily well versed if it was a game?

“There’s still a long ways to go,” you say.

“I intend to rectify that.”

“Of course you do.”

Her eyes narrow at you and she tilts her head. “Do you think I should be doing better?”

“Yeah. Come out, for starters.”

“Says the woman in a sham marriage.”

“It’s not a sham. I love Duncan,” you protest.

“Then why are you here, selling out his family just for a chance to fuck me? You’re not much better than I am.”

“I don’t think I’ve told you anything yet. Besides. It’s not his real family… as you say.”

“No. You haven’t told me anything I didn’t already know. But I haven’t fucked you yet either, have I?”

“Touché.”

“Come over here,” she beckons, leaning against the desk and once again it strikes you where you are - the fucking Oval Office. Are you seriously going to have sex in the Oval Office? Conservatives would be disgusted by this (although it wouldn’t be the first time this office was defiled). “Don’t look so scared now. You can’t back out at this point.”

You nod, trying not to look as nervous as you feel and walk the few steps over to her, your legs inches from hers. God, you’re practically dying from the anticipation alone.

“Does Duncan ever tell you how beautiful you are?” She asks. You’re absolutely shellshocked. There’s no trace of sarcasm in her voice.

“Sometimes,” you murmur.

“Just like men to not appreciate what they have.”

“Mm. Frank didn’t appreciate you, Claire? Didn’t make you feel good? I would. If you were my wife I’d make you come every fucking day,” you say, and boldly you decide to punctuate that statement by pressing your lips to hers.

Mistake. Or maybe not, you don’t know.

Her hands tangle in your hair and you feel her stand up, press against you firmly before backing you into the desk, pushing you onto it until your back is flat on the wood, and she’s hovering over you, her lips ghosting yours.

“I’m a hard woman to please,” she reiterates and you realize she never fucking lost her breath while you feel like the wind was knocked out of you. “I’m ambivalent about attention in general. But look at you, whore. You crave it, don’t you? Just want someone to tell you that you’re a good girl... oh, look at you squeeze your thighs together. Are you wet for me, slut?”

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” You ask, spreading your legs slightly for her.

She shakes her head, her straight platinum locks shifting as she does so, brushing against your face. “See? You’re not a good girl. You’re a dirty filthy whore and you just don’t know when to shut that whore mouth or close your fucking legs.”

You stay silent - you’re not sure what to do now. Do you antagonize her, push her further, see if it will rile her up again? Or do you try and kiss her again?

Claire has other ideas. “Beg,” she hisses in your ear. “Get down on your knees and beg for me.”

—- and I am evil and ending it there! Plz let me know if I should continue this!

[formulatrash]

I really love that you’re so active and open on here because I always wanted to work in sports journalism or similar and I always felt like I had to tone down my involvement in fan spaces sometimes because it seemed maybe like it was considered by some as unprofessional or that I couldn’t do both but I love seeing that that’s not really true

I think it's a case of looking critically at what we think of as "fan spaces."

The entire sports press is a fan space, all sports coverage is because people are fans of it and a race report or interpretation of an interview is a fanwork just in the same way a gifset or edit is. One is a legitimised industry, the other we tend to self-police into being regarded as lesser, shameful in case the boys come and make fun or whatever.

I've always participated in loving the things I love in a more traditionally female/queer fandom way. Obviously there are plenty of men in Tumblr-style fandom and I think the gender divide is less clear either way; there are plenty of women on Reddit, after all. But there's a history of either side being dominated by one gender and for the external perception to be Reddit bros vs Tumblr girls.

Autosport is fandom, curated and presented in the way it's expected to be; the same as fandom is curated and presented on Tumblr. We think one is legitimised and one has to be hidden because of respectability points scored against each other, not because there's anything particularly more inherently intellectual to a formally-written report on 750 Motor Club's race weekend than to a beautiful edit.

~Fandom~ spaces lack the validation of access. The reason people are desperate to put "FIA accredited" in their Twitter bio is because it gives you a weight of validation when like, it's Literally Just A Lanyard. The FIA don't check whether your takes are bad or else there'd have to be a sharp drop in accredited media.

I used to work in music journalism and cis, white, mostly posh, straight men who followed bands around got lionised as the pioneers of the field. Same as in motorsport - guys who went to tens of Grand Prix just because they were obsessive fans turned into journalists and were lauded for it. Their merch collections and old models are considered a valuable museum.

That's not particularly a criticism of them: they're just fans, expressing their genuine fandom and turning it into something that they share with other fans, that they bring greater illumination to the sport through. That's, after all, what we are all doing. And there's nothing dismissive or derogatory in describing it like that.

The problem is that other forms of fandom, although no less sincere, aren't treated the same. Women who follow bands around don't get interpreted as experts but obsessives and the same with sport or anything else. Queer people's enthusiasm for things is treated with suspicion. People of colour are alienated and sidelined and the more their identity intersects with any other marginalised group the worst it is.

Which is all a long way of saying: we interpret different parts of fan expression as different degrees of professional and that's almost always based on what's making money right now. Laptop stickers of fanart? Guess what teams and series are slowly getting into. Pin badges, custom merch, all the sort of things that have been bootlegged by fans - from beautiful edits on social media (and christ, have you seen the official F1 graphics? they could desperately do with someone from here) to artists getting commissioned for race posters because the brands have realised they want those social numbers.

Even all the way through to fanfiction. If a dude writes a speculative history of a fictional season (there's plenty out there!) it's called a 'what if?' and can be published on the F1 website. I have the dignity to put mine on AO3 but I don't think it's any less insightful, in the 'making things up' stakes.

Tumblr is an illegitimate platform, packed with pirated content and with plenty of feral spaces even I shouldn't look in - and I am quite hardcore about curating what I see, these days. It's less likely to be a screed against me than on Reddit but I'm aware people have the right to public comment on anything published.

I wish people had less internalised shame about what's created on here, though. Looking through the tags there's beautiful art, conscientiously-created notes and what on another platform would unquestionably be validated as journalism. There's analysis and insight and pure, unbridled enjoyment.

And yeah a few people who want to fuck the drivers but my god I can't tell you how little athletes are offended by the idea people think they are hot.

[aerltarg]

Maybe this is a stupid question, buuuuut:

I just can't imagine a world that Rhaegar comes back from the Trident, wins the war and becomes king. No, I'm not a anti Rhaegar, matter of fact I like him very much, I'm just can imagine how would Lya, little Jon, this whole affair, would settle in the capital. The norm that fics (at least those I read) tend to follow is to make Rhaegar:

1. A douche, paranoid and destiny-obessed king.

2. Completely incompetent, aloof monarch, that deep down has a heart of gold, but can't really be understood.

I mean, isn't he supposed to be a scholar since he was a kid? What's are your thoughts about it?

oh, yeah, i can totally understand this! it's is the whole point in canon actually, "the wrong man came back from the trident". you would expect a hero win against his antagonist and have a happy ending w his lady love but it doesn't happen. instead the subversion happens to them with rhaegar being killed by robert who becomes obviously a shitty king and lyanna dying after him. they were never supposed to have happy ending, they were created as tragic and doomed and dead from the beginning for the whole plot to start, jon to have his parentage mystery and dany to take the passed baton as the last dragon, prophesied savoir and the heir who has to carry entire house on her back now.

as for the realistic rhaegar wins aus that's the difficult question. tbh we just don't know enough abt their situation, plans and wishes. you see, e.g. in agot we can be right in ned's head and see his motivations, what he was thinking abt, what he was planning, what he was hoping to do. but if his story was told the way rhaegar's was i bet he would have his own crowd of haters and ~intellectuals~ jumping out every two seconds w their "hot takes" how actually all hints abt what rlly happened (ned being a good man w his own sense of honour, justice and experiences affecting him and the deal w cersei's children) doesn't matter and he was an ambitious prick, planned to grasp the power by being joffrey's regent and make his daughter sansa queen. (you can actually insert there any bullshit and still don't reach the level of stupidity of such "hot takes" this fandom loves so much lmao). also he would be blamed to the hell and beyond for being too stupid and not foreseeing the future and actions of other ppl bc ofc after everything happened it's so easy to say what was so obvious to notice. also they would say that the deaths of his men and horrible fates of his kids are 100% his fault and even straight up say he killed them lmao. i can rant abt it for hours so yeah. this is a situation w too many unknown variables bc it depends too much on actions of too many characters we don't know enough abt. the only thing it's possible to tell for sure is the fact that there couldn't be any perfect solutions since things got too complicated at this point.

such fics as you've mentioned tho are just a part of this dumb fanon where rhaegar is "too prophecy obsessed"/"incapable of love"/shrodinger's rhaegar both smart and stupid at the same time/whatever/all of this combined lmfao. the man was notably intelligent from the early age as you've absolutely rightly mentioned, his guesses abt himself being tptwp have nothing to do w egocentrism as some parts of the fandom would want us all to believe unless he wouldn't be so reasonable abt it and later on, after so many years, wouldn't have changed his mind and thought his son could be tptwp.

and literally fuck all antis that think you shouldn't consider prophecies that hold real power in this fantasy world lol. you know, aegon the conqueror was said to be motivated (or at least partly) to unify westeros by the prophecy and still got the treatment of perfect/maximum close to perfect figure of a leader everyone should look up to from the narrative and grrm. prophecy obsessed much, huh? i don't even talk abt all these parallels between him and rhaegar grrm put there not for bitches to ignore them completely! and i will never get tired of reminding that dismissing prophecies is UNWISE for targaryens of all people. the house whose story is built on the dream of young daenys and her father aenar that listened to her despite common sense (or what local "anti magic"/"anti prophecies" clowns consider to be common sense). targs would be as dead as the rest of dragonlords if not for daenys the dreamer. who else in the world has as many reasons to take prophecies seriously as them?

yet antis out there act as if rhaegar is one dimensional weirdo whose every character trait is abt mf ~prophecy obsession~. like how can they miss one of the main points so badly?? the game of thrones distracts ppl from the real danger beyond the wall, yk, the one rhaegar was aware of and meant to deal with. there wouldn't be such a problem if he became king and had as many years of head start before ice zombies apocalypse as ignorant bobby b did. rhaegar had to die just for westeros to sink in shit and our main heroes to save everyone to make this story more epic LMAO

so yeah, too many ppl portray rhaegar as this one dimensional robotic creature without any knowledge of what feelings are idk even for what reason. it seems these ppl can't read for real bc rhaegar was not only intelligent af as well as dutiful ("it seems i must be a warrior" but "he loved his harp more than his lance") but also. ugh emotional?? my boy had constant emo sessions w brooding at ruins of summerhall, sleeping out there beneath the stars all alone and writing songs that made all women cry. does it sound as someone who "isn't capable of love" lol? folks act as if he was completely heartless from the day he was born (bc he didnt play w other kids ig??) but in reality their emotional range is less than the one of a spoon in comparison to rhaegar's lol. i'm not even gonna address the horrible attitude of demonizing him for his implied depression, vile clowns never listen to themselves when they talk abt targaryens and their "madness".

tldr; these fics are mostly lame af and suck at characterization if they're making rhaegar like that lol. anyway his character isn't abt being a good or a bad king, it's abt being a would-be-king for characters in books and readers in reality to sigh over his tragic aura and pretty aesthetic abt how it could've been. however, grrm clearly doesn't write rhaegar as evil or incapable as some parts of the fandom would want to try to persuade others. realistically speaking in the scenario where he wins there couldn't be any perfect decisions but it's a territory of speculations on thin air and lit nothing more since canon doesn't provide us with enough information to rlly theorize anything instead of building biased headcanons some ppl call "analysis".

but remember what barristan said about rhaegar while practically watching him all his life, from a literal baby to the man grown:

“I know little of Rhaegar. Only the tales Viserys told, and he was a little boy when our brother died. What was he truly like?”

The old man considered a moment. “Able. That above all. Determined, deliberate, dutiful, single-minded.” (ASOS, Daenerys I)

“Prince Rhaegar’s prowess was unquestioned, but he seldom entered the lists. He never loved the song of swords the way that Robert did, or Jaime Lannister. It was something he had to do, a task the world had set him. He did it well, for he did everything well. That was his nature. But he took no joy in it. Men said that he loved his harp much better than his lance.” (ASOS, Daenerys IV)

[lubdubsworld]

Change of Heart ( Taehyungx OC)

Chapter 1   Chapter 2    Chapter 3     Chapter 4     Chapter 5   Chapter 6  Chapter 7   Chapter 8

Summary : Times are changing. After years of being oppressed, werewolves are taking a stand against humans , demanding equal rights and fair treatment. Heading the movement is Kim Taehyung, the breathtaking heir to the Kim fortune and one of the few remaining Alpha werewolves in the country. His disdain for the human race is well known and well warranted. They killed his family after all….. He wants to change the world , to put humans in their place but when his five year old daughter takes a shine to their very human neighbor , maybe he has to start with a change of heart , first.

: Pairing : Taehyung x OC / Werewolf AU!!

Genre : Romance, Explicit Content

Chapter 9

“I believe you owe me an explanation....” My father’s voice was soft and steady, his gaze piercing as he stared at me. I could feel my skin thrum with distaste and the urge to take a shower was strong. I wanted to scrub my skin off, Eun Woo’s touch somehow lingering and heavy on me.

“Give me my phone back.” I said instead and my father shook his head.

“No can do. Those men you met? Paranoid bunch. They thought you and Eun Woo might have been recording something and they wanted me to check your phone. i had to reassure them and so, just for good measure, I destroyed it.” 

I glared at him.

“I’m still waiting for an explanation. Two weeks ago you couldn’t stand the sight of Eun Woo.... And now here you are, at my Yacht club , claiming you’re dating the man. What are you trying to pull?” My father prompted. 

“There’s nothing to say. I just... I lost my job at the preserve and I can’t really look for anything else right now Eun Woo is just helping me out.” I whispered.

My father looked surprised. 

“That’s interesting, I see your pride isn’t as strong as it was when I introduced him to you at the preserve.”

I kept quiet. 

"Good. I’m not surprised that you’ve come around to be honest. You are your mother’s daughter after all. Gold digger that she was, at least she left you some of her good looks for you to cash in one, yeah? ‘.

My breath caught in my throat, lips wobbling as tears sprung .

“But still.....the fact that you would whore yourself out to a bunch of animals, to keep him? It makes me wonder. What exactly is going on here, that I’m missing” ”

Taehyung , I thought miserably. I wanted him so badly right now that I felt like I would shatter if I didn’t get away from here. 

I glared at my father, feeling disgust well up at the mere sight of him. 

“I’m not going to do any such thing.... I’m just helping you . Eun Woo told me you’ve been looking to finish the deal and those men wanted to see me at the resort on the seventeenth. You should be thanking me right now.  . ” I said defiantly and my father’s eyebrows rose. 

And then he chuckled. 

 “I feel like you’ve bitten off way more than you can chew. But just remember, this is your doing and if things go south, i am not risking my entire reputation to rescue you. ” He said firmly. 

“I can take care of myself.” I said shortly. I clenched and unclenched my fingers , trying to ground myself. 

It was so amazing, how blind my father could be. He hadn’t suspected Eun Woo at all. Merely chalking him off as a perverted wolf who wanted to make a bit off money at his resort. Eun Woo was smart as well, being obtuse and sounding foolish on purpose, playing into my father’s belief that wolves weren’t intelligent. 

. And this would be his downfall, I thought vindictively. The way he continually thought that wolves were foolish. That he was somehow smarter than them....

“I am not sure if I trust you entirely so I’ve asked Eun Woo to keep an eye on you, till the seventeenth. You can stay with him at his apartment.  ” My father said thoughtfully

I kept my gaze down. 

“At first i considered calling the whole thing off but apparently , Eun Woo’s onto something with the whole beta wolves being into voyeurism. Perhaps that’s a whole new avenue I could look into.... Those men out there....I’ve been showering them with gifts and women for months and this deal wouldn’t come through. But Eun Woo sweeps in, dangles you in front of them and suddenly they want to finish this deal in five days? Apparently,  you’re  the secret weapon I should have been using all along?”

I glared at him.

He looked thoughtful as he stared at me. And then he nodded, features hardening. 

“So be it... You can go fuck that wolf in front of those men and I’ll get my work done. Always knew you weren’t unlike that mother of yours....” He smirked.

I felt my heart clench at that. My mother had been nothing but innocent. I recoiled when he made to stroke my cheek and he laughed again. 

“He’ll come pick you up in a couple of hours . Take a shower and fix yourself. ” He gave me one last look before leaving. 

The door slammed shut behind him and I sank to the floor. I stared around the room... groaning. 

And then my eyes fell on the small pink phone, sticking out of my bag. My dad had taken my phone but not this . It was the pair to the toddler phone that I’d bought Luna so many moons ago. After my fallout with Taehyung I hadn’t used it at all but it had remained at the bottom of my bag. It would only connect to its pair, but no matter. 

Grinning, I pulled it out, dialing quickly. If nothing else, at least dear , sweet Luna’s voice would cheer me up. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, you’ll make all the arrangements?” Eun Woo watched Taehyung carefully, the Alpha wolf sat behind his desk flanked by two of his closest men, Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin. The betas were built like fucking walls , both of them narcs in the force. They stared at him, eyes narrowed in distrust and for the first time Eun Woo felt the first inklings of regret.

Taehyung for his part looked like he believed him.  A laptop stood open in front of him, and the wolf had a Bluetooth device in his ear, obviously watching something on the screen. Eun Woo wondered if he had even listened to anything he had said. 

“So that’s it? You offered them the resort and they said the deal’s going down.” He asked casually and Eun Woo nodded , realizing that Taehyung had been listening to him after all. . 

“On the seventeenth. Yoon Jae hyun’s going to be there.”

“And Mirae...?”

“Well, just as a guest...I did imply we were seeing each other so it would be less suspicious if she were also around.” Eun Woo willed himself to sound normal. 

Taehyung didn’t look suspicious but there was no telling with the beautiful alpha, who had mastered the art of keeping a straight face while destroying his enemies. And Eun Woo was well aware that if the alpha found out how he had used the girl, he would definitely be topping that list. 

“Very well. I’ll make the necessary arrangements. You can go now. I’ll contact you soon.” Taehyung said shortly , his gaze flitting back to the screen infront of him. 

Eun Woo nodded, before standing up on shaky legs, his heart pounding, instincts telling him he was in danger. But he pushed away the thought, grabbing his bag and leaving the office quickly. 

Taehyung watched him leave, claws out and digging straight through his desk to stop himself from launching across the room and tearing the wolf’s throat out. He could smell her on him. And his wolf wasn’t happy about it. 

“Fucker’s got balls, lying to your face like that.” Namjoon commented mildly, staring at the laptop, where for the past hour or so, Taehyung kept replaying the CCTV footage from the poolside camera on the yacht club. 

Taehyung stared at the screen, watching the sheer discomfort and disgust on Mi Rae’s face and he’d never been filled with so much bloodlust in his life. The urged to rip the wolves to shreds, to tear them limb from limb, it simmered in his blood. 

The potent rage in his veins stunned him because he’d never felt anything like it before. If he’d had any doubts about whether his wolf had made the right choice, choosing Yoon Mi Rae,  it was gone. The sight of those men, ogling what was  his  and his alone, it made him want to kill. 

They had to die. And he had to do it.  

Simple as that.

And he would. 

He would run them through with his claws and watch the life blood drain out of their frail, fragile bodies. 

it took him some effort to compose himself. 

“How long has he been running this little racket in his resort?” Taehyung asked casually, feeling inordinately foolish. It was unlike him to be so neglectful over something so incredibly important. How on earth had Cha Eun Woo managed to run something so illicit and horrendous right under his nose? 

He blamed himself.

 He’d trusted Cha Eun Woo, for one hot minute. Forgotten that the wolf's loyalty lay solely with himself.

Namjoon sighed, placing a file in front of Taehyung. Taehyung flipped through the pictures , stomach turning. Eun Woo had huge sprawling rooms , with beds in the center  fitted with restraints and handcuffs. Comfortable arm chairs and couches dotted the rest of the room, men lounging about as they watched the action unfold.  Women,  drugged and barely conscious,  lay on most of them and apparently, alpha wolves indulged themselves with the women.

It was the most disgusting thing he had ever encountered in his life. 

And the bastard had actually dared, actually had the fucking thought of dragging his  mate  into it. 

The mere thought of it made Taehyung laugh out loud. 

Cha Eun Woo was out of his damn mind. 

 There really was no other explanation for it. Or maybe he’d been so blinded by his own wealth and power that he’d forgotten that Taehyung was ten times as powerful as him. 

Well, whatever the reason, he clearly had a death wish. 

And Kim Taehyung was going to grant it to him. With Pleasure. 

“It’s new. or we would have caught wind of it before.” Seokjin said apologetically, “ Probably a few months at the most. He mostly uses the men to get tax exemptions or do get ordinances cleared for his resorts or you know, get out of adhering to construction regulation and stuff like that. In return for letting them watch alphas knot human women. ” Seokjin’s face was scrunched in disgust. 

“And when I let him meet Yoon Jae hyun and his cronies, he saw an opportunity to expand his clientele and he took it. “ Taehyung hummed thoughtfully. 

“Mi Rae’s with her father....” Namjoon said thoughtfully.

“Knowing that son of a bitch, he’ll probably force her to go through with it.” Seokjin shuddered.

“Well, let him bring her there. We’ll get her out. And arrest the whole lot of them.” Namjoon said with a shrug. 

Taehyung stared at them for a second. 

He had been determined to do this by the book, at first. But watching Cha Eun Woo molest his girl, while a bunch of impotent , old bastards ogled her....well, that really changed his mind about how he wanted to deal with these motherfucking idiots. 

“No.” Taehyung said casually.

Namjoon and Seokjin stilled.

“Tae?”

“We’re not arresting any of them.” He said casually. And then he gave Seokjin a slow, calculated smile. 

Namjoon’s eyes widened as realization set in. 

“Tae-” He began , looking worried but the Alpha merely stared at him.

“I’m going to trust that my two best men are going to make that happen for me?” he drawled, eyes flashing red in a way that said it wasn’t really a request.  

Seokjin groaned.

“Fine. But we’ll still have to get an arrest warrant and all that. Don’t want the guy to be hailed as a victim or a martyr after I kill him. that always pisses me off.” He said distastefully and Taehyung hummed.

“I’m going to leave that to your capable hands, gentlemen. “ 

“We’ll get things ready then. “ Namjoon said casually making to move away and Taehyung nodded, watching the two betas move to the door. 

“Good., oh and one more thing....” he called out , making them both turn. 

“What’s wrong?” Seokjin asked , confused.

“Cha Eun Woo... he’s mine. Bring him to me when you’re done with the others.” Taehyung whispered. 

Namjoon grimaced but Seokjin merely grinned. Ironically, although he looked soft and almost feminine in his beauty, Seokjin was the meaner one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung came home to see his daughter giggling uncontrollably on the couch, her phone pressed to her ear and he was confused.

The only one who could call her on that phone was him and-

His eyes widened, realization hitting him hard as he all but pounced on the couch, wrestling the phone out of Luna’s hands before he could think his actions through.

“Rae...” He breathed in disbelief.

“Taehyung?” Her voice came out surprised and relieved and he felt like he was flying. It felt like liquid honey in his ears, the sweet cadence of her tone filling him with sweet blessed relief. He hadn’t even realized how badly he had wanted to hear her voice, to get some confirmation that she was alright. 

“Dada dada dada...gimme gimme ...I wanna talk to Rae Rae...!!!” Luna bounced next to him, tugging on his arm and he struggled to keep his balance. 

“ How did you call? I’ve been trying to reach you and-”

“Dada!!! Please...i haven’t spoken to her in ages...lemme talk to Rae Rae...!!” Luna’s voice was shrill and unrelenting. 

“My dad got my phone.... I’m supposed to be with Eun Woo” He could almost see her rolling her eyes as she said that and he felt fondness bloom inside him at the though.

“Dada!! Lemme talk!” Luna was beginning to climb him now and he flinched when her tiny little claws came out, easily piercing the silk of his shirt and digging into his arms. 

“Damn it! Luna will you let me talk to your mother for one damn second?!!!!!” Taehyung shouted, frustration spilling out of him before he could tamp it down.

Luna froze on his arm. 

It took him another ten seconds to realize what he just said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My heart thudded straight up to my throat, my lungs constricting so hard that I almost choked. 

I gripped the phone hard, fingers shaking as i tried to process what I’d just heard. 

“Shit... Oh shit..” Taehyung swore and I startled. 

“Don’t swear in front of her...” I hissed automatically . “ Taehyung what the fuck-”

“You’re swearing now!!” He shouted.

“Can you blame me?” I shouted back, my heart pounding. “ I’m not...what the hell do you mean mother?!!”

“I’m sorry... I don’t know why I said that.. It just slipped out.. i... you’re my mate and ... I know you told me not to call you that but I’m sorry , that’s what you are and she’s my daughter so I guess I just.. “

“We’ll talk about this later. “ I snapped, too tired to deal with his twisted feelings. “You have to get me out of here! The last thing I want to do is spend another minute with Cha Eun Woo. ” 

“God, Rae... are you alright? ..”

“I’m fine but can you get me out of here? I wanna get out of here!” I whispered. 

“Are you in your dad’s apartment? Is he hurting you?”

I sighed in defeat, knowing exactly what was going to happen.

“Let me guess....you want me to stay with the pervert till you finish saving the world.” I groaned.

“We need him at that resort on seventeenth. This whole thing is beginning to infuriate me and I’m going to end it. For good.” Taehyung’s voice carried a hard edge to it that made me wince.

“Are you gonna be there?” I asked, worried. 

“I am.”

I bit my lips.

“Did Eun Woo tell you how he got those men to agree to come there?” I asked hesitantly. 

“He didn’t but I know. Don’t worry about, I’ll deal with that....”

“If he didn’t tell you how did you know?” I asked, confused. 

Silence.

“ i planted a bug on him. And I had spycams set up around the pool.” 

“I didn’t like what he did.” I whispered. “ I don’t... I know its for a reason but the way he touched me I... I didn’t like it...” 

Taehyung didn’t respond for a few seconds.

“ Mi Rae , what he did was so far out of line that I can’t even begin to tell you how angry it makes me. But, don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m going to take care of him too. ” He said finally.

I felt myself itch with the need to get away. To reach Taehyung. And Luna..God, listening to her voice after so long....listening to her happy , joyful delight.,..

“I want to see you.” I begged, dignity forgotten. “ I want to see you and Luna.. Taehyung get me out of here!! Please.!!!” 

Taehyung groaned. 

“Baby, listen to me... just leave with Eun Woo for now , he won’t touch you, I’ll make sure of that.....”

“No you can’t make sure of that!!” i snapped. “ You don’t know how it felt to have his hands on me.... I.... I can’t bear the thought of him near me... Please, please, get me out of here.” 

A steady beeping made me jump and I stared at the phone in my hand. A red light blinked steadily on the upper edge made my heart drop. The battery was running out. Of course it was . I hadn’t used this in days. 

Tears sprung before I could tamp down on my own misery,

"Tae...Can you hear me?” I choked out. “ Tae... I can’t explain it. I feel weird.... I feel miserable and scared and to be honest, I hate my own skin right now.... Ever since he touched me... I feel like ....”

Another series of beeps and the call ended. My fingers were shaking as i stared at the phone in misery. 

This whole thing was spiraling into something scary and unpredictable and for once, the fear refused to ebb. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Taehyung...we can’t...”

“Call him.... We’re moving this thing up to tonight. I’m not waiting a whole four days to rip these bastards to shreds.  ” Taehyung roared, clenched fist coming down on the mahogany surface of his table with enough force that Namjoon heard the tell tale sound of wood splintering.

He flinched. 

Taehyung was enraged and the beta wolves felt like they were walking on literal eggshells. 

Seokjin held a hand up, trying to calm the infuriated wolf. 

“Okay... Okay...listen , we can’t just go in guns blazing and just kill some of the most  prominent men in the country, Taehyung. That’s not how it works.  ” 

Taehyung tried to keep his temper in check but it was impossible. God, the way she had sounded on the phone. Cha Eun Woo was lucky he wasn’t in front of him right now... Taehyung was going to tear him limb from limb for this. 

“So what, I just hand her over to him for the next five days?” He snarled. That wasn’t going to happen. it would be one thing if she was comfortable with it, but there was no way he was letting Eun Woo within fifty feet of her, not when she sounded so upset. 

“This is what happens when you ignore your fucking biology and act like a whole entire idiot. “ Seokjin snaps. “ There’s a reason people spend days locked in after mating!! Your bond is fragile and sensitive. Just because you don’t want to fuck her into the wall anymore , it doesn’t mean your bond is settled. She’s probably feeling just as worse....and she likely has no clue why ...” 

Taehyung felt his head throb.

“She’s human...she won’t feel the bond...” He muttered.

Seokjin scoffed.

“Are you serious, Tae? The mating bite connects you to her. You know that right? Yes, its not going to be as potent as it is for us , but human mates can sense the bond. The reason she’s so desperate to see you right now is because you carted her off with another wolf, before the bond could even settle. A wolf who for all intents and purposes sexually assaulted her.” 

Taehyung’s breath caught in his throat.

He’d been avoiding that thought , tried to downplay what Eun Woo had done, just for the sake of his own sanity. But Seokjin was right. What Eun Woo had done was just that and Taehyung had literally given him the license to do it. 

“I need to see her .” He whispered softly. 

“I’ll go get her.” Namjoon replied gently.. Taehyung stared at him, frowning.

“How?” he asked, shortly. His mind felt so foggy, so unlike himself. He was usually the sharpest man in any room, solving problems before they even cropped up, ever missing anything. But right now, he couldn’t think beyond getting her back in his arms.

“With them... I’ll go with them and tell Eun Woo I’m going to bring Mirae here..... Will that be enough? We’re this close to ending this for good, Tae. Don’t ..let your instincts mess this for you...”

Seokjin scoffed.

“Shut the fuck up, the pair of you. Taehyung stop thinking with your dick for a second and consider what we’ve been doing..... This raid has been in the works for three whole years. We’re not going to do something stupid now. Namjoon and i will go see Eun Woo....Give him a taste of what will happen if he touches Rae.... and then we’ll be back here.” 

He smiled then, wide and beautiful and even Taehyung felt a cold shiver run up his spine.

Seokjin continued, 

“ Five days from now, we’re going in, collecting enough evidence to bring the bastards down and then, to satisfy Taehyung’s bloodthirsty soul, we’ll rip a few throats out too. How’s that sound?  ”

it sounded fucking fantastic especially the last bit. 

“What if you piss Eun Woo off and he calls off the whole thing...?” Namjoon protested and Seokjin rolled his eyes.

“The mutt’s playing in the big league now. He was the one who offered them the whole show, think they’ll take too kindly to him backing out all of a sudden? Probably won’t..... He’s gonna have to stick with it. If for no other reason than to cover his own ass. ” 

“You’re not leaving Rae with him. I want to come with you guys....” Taehyung said firmly. 

“Oh, God. No. Absolutely not. I’m not burying Cha Eun Woo’s decapitated body tonight. That’s just not going to happen.” Namjoon held his hands up.

Seokjin grinned.

“As loathe as I am to admit it, Namjoon is right. You don’t have to be there. Don’t worry, we’ll be thorough. Make sure he understands we aren’t playing around. And we’ll think of something with your girlfriend. We can’t bring her to you.... Jae hyung has eyes on you , you know that. We’ll make sure she’s somewhere safe.  ” 

“You know you can trust us , Tae. We’re going to make sure this fool gets what he deserves.”

Taehyung nodded, skin still thrumming with discomfort. He wasn’t going to feel better until he saw her, but it looked like he had to wait for a while. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stared at the two wolves flanking Eun Woo, each one holding him up by one arm, his knees bent at an odd angle. He looked unconscious . 

“Sorry. He wasn’t supposed to pass out but the fucker’s just a huge ass coward. Didn’t even last five minutes.” 

“Five minutes of what?” I whispered, staring in mild horror at the blood dripping steadily from the man’s temple. 

“Five minutes of us demonstrating what happens to people who covet things that don’t belong to them.” Seokjin smiled brightly. 

“Jungkook’s on the way here.... You know him right? Taehyung told me he’s a friend of yours.  He’s going to let you crash with him for a couple of days  That okay? “ 

I stared between the two of them.

“Are you sure? My father....” 

“Oh your father won’t know, sweetheart, don’t worry about that.  You know the original plan was for us to just warn this fool and he would come to his senses . But he chose to be an idiot and mouthed off about fucking anyone he wants to fuck.... So, Joon and I are going to keep him away from you. We owe Taehyung that much.” The wolf had a breathtaking face, impossible to look away from. 

“Can’t I go to Taehyung?” I said stupidly and they exchanged looks.

“No wonder he’s whipped. She’s gorgeous.” Namjoon muttered under his breath. 

Seokjin elbowed him sharply.

“Uh.. no. That’s going to be difficult because ....well, for starters its going to be pretty suspicious if you randomly show up at the Official residence of a Minister.”

 I flushed.

“He’s not staying at his condo?” I asked hesitant.

Seokjin shook his head. 

“He’s taking office in a few days, Yoon Mi Rae, ssi. He’s under the limelight right now. Which is why we think it would be safer for you to stay elsewhere. Your father is probably watching him closely.” 

I closed my eyes, feeling jittery. I startled when arms wrapped around me, warm and firm. 

“hey..... you alright?” The taller, dimpled wolf gave me a concerned glance and i realized I’d swayed a little. 

“I’m sorry... I’m fine.. I’m just...”

“It’s the bond.” Seokjin said gently and I stared at him.

“Bond?” I muttered, confused. 

“He claimed you. It sounds archaic but you do belong to him. Your body recognizes that even if your heart or mind doesn’t. “ He sounded almost apologetic.

I groaned.

“So I’m going to feel this way...”

“Anytime someone else gets close to you, yes.” 

I remembered how averse I had been to Jungkook touching me in the tub, that morning after. 

“So this isn’t real? I want to be with him but it isn’t real...and I can’t be with anyone else either -”

“Hey...Hey...listen. That’s not what I’m saying. Just the fact that the bond formed is proof that you guys have something special. If you weren’t into each other his wolf would have rejected the bond at once. But I’m just saying, for a few days, maybe indulge your baser instincts and stick to him, yeah? Once the bond settles , you can make better decisions without being physically affected by them.” Seokjin said gently. 

I sighed peering over at Eun Woo.

“What are you going to do with him?”

Seokjin hesitated.

“Take him to our place probably. Can’t risk him running around wrecking havoc. Don’t worry about it. Five days max. This whole thing will blow over and you won’t have to see him again.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You okay?” Jungkook placed a pair of towels at the foot of the bed, looking concerned as he stared at me. I sat on the bed, knees drawn up and arms folded over them staring at him. 

“I’m so screwed.” I whispered. 

Jungkook smiled.

“It always feels that way.... at first. Don’t worry, you guys will work this out.” 

“I’m scared. My father ...he... he’s always been a bastard but... I never saw him as someone dangerous. But I think he is. I’m scared he’s going to hurt Taehyung.” I said softly, finally voicing what I’d been worried about all along.

Jungkook gave me a sharp look.

“That’s not going to be easy. Hyung can take care of himself. I’m an alpha myself and you won’t see me going against him. Everyone knows he’s not someone you should underestimate. “

“But I’m still worried..... I... I don’t want him to get hurt.”

“I’m glad you don’t want me dead anymore.” 

Taehyung’s voice sent a jolt of electric current straight up my spine. I scrambled, turning around to the window in shock. 

The alpha sat perched on the window sill, looking entirely unbothered for someone dangling a good fifty feet off the ground. 

“Hyung , what? Get in here!!!” Jungkook hissed, reaching for him, but he was already throwing his legs over and dropping to the carpeted floor with ease. 

“Don’t trust you enough to leave her with you for the night, Jungkook-ah...” He said casually, but his eyes danced with mirth. 

Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“She smells like you now hyung.... I’m not going there ..”

Taehyung gave me a surprised look. 

“She does?” 

“The bond’s settling then.” Jungkook said. “ This is my cue to leave. Where’s your security detail hyung? Tell me I’m not going to get shot in my sleep for kidnapping the Minister for Supernatural affairs.” 

Taehyung chuckled.

“They know where I am... I’m only here for the night. I have stuff to do in the morning.” He turned to me holding his arms out, “ You okay?”

I threw myself at him without a second thought. 

It felt like gears slotting together perfectly, his arm around me calming the simmering discomfort under my skin so quickly that I went limp. 

I closed my eyes, gripping his tight, letting my eyes fall shut as I inhaled the musky , woody scent of him. I heard the door close softly behind Jungkook and Taehyung ran his palms up and down my back.

“I may possibly be the worst mate in history.” He commented mildly.

I snorted.

“There’s no competition there. You win, hands down.” I muttered. He pulled back to stare at me, hands coming up to gently cup my face.

“I’m going to kill him.” He said softly and I frowned.

“I thought he was only doing what you asked him to.” I said , frowning.

Taehyung gave me a sharp glance. His hands slipped to my wrists, tugging me to the bed. I settled on the mattress and he took his shoes off carefully. 

“God, no. Do you really think I’d do something like that?” He gave me a wounded look and i bit my lips.

“How would i know? All you told me was that you needed Cha Eun Woo to help you”

Taehyung hesitated.

“He’s been running a brothel in that resort. A brothel were old or impotent wolves can watch alphas knot human women..... Its been going on for a while. i never knew. He’s been hiding it really well.” 

I felt my jaw come unhinged. 

Suddenly, the way he had talked about how I would look, having sex with an alpha wolf, the way he had described it to those men, it made sense.

“He told them ... he made it seem like I was one of those women.” Bile rose up in my throat.

Taehyung reached out, fingers lightly gripping my waist and tugging me closer.

I hesitated, not sure what he wanted but he scooted back to lean on the headboard, long legs stretched out in front of him and he held his hand out again.

“Come here.” He whispered gently.  “ i can think better if you’re in front of me” 

Seokjin’s words echoed in my head ,   maybe indulge your baser instincts and stick to him, yeah? Once the bond settles , you can make better decisions. 

I crawled over on my knees. 

Taehyung reached out , gripped my waist with both hands and lifted me straight up into his lap like I weighed nothing. i yelped, knees hitting the mattress on either side of his waist as I tried to spread my thighs wide enough to accommodate him . 

He kept his hands on my waist, grabbing the hem of my blouse and tugging it out of my skirt. He slipped his fingers in till he grazed my bare skin, thumbs rubbing soothing circles against the heated flesh. 

“Feel good?” He whispered softly. 

I tilted my head, regarding him thoughtfully.

“When have you ever made me feel anything but good, Alpha Kim?” I smirked, my tone dripping with sarcasm. 

The fingers on my waist tightened, hard enough to bruise and I choked  , gripping his shoulders , feeling the hard jut of his shoulder blades beneath my fingers.

“Behave.” He warned softly, “ I’m trying to start this right.”

I sighed.

“Start what?”

“This.. You and I. Together. As more than just friends.” 

I straightened, surprised.

“Taehyung-”

“I came here tonight, not because I had to...not because I needed to... but because I  wanted to.  I want you to know that. I’m here not by obligation but because I wanted to see you. Because I care for you.” He stared right at me but i couldn’t help but be wary. 

I looked away. 

“That's not what you said the last time we met which was literally this morning...” i protested. 

“ Rae, I was so fucking scared. I’ve been living inside my own head for too damn long. I’ve always had these....fucking rules inside me. Rules that i couldn’t bring myself to break. I don’t break the law, I don’t get involved with humans, I don’t trust humans, I always do stuff by the book..... But today, just...seeing what happened at that pool...... I realized I’ve been so fucking blind. ”

I swallowed.

“That’s not your fault...”

“It is... “ He said shortly. “ I’ve been so caught up with keeping my own rules, with fighting humans that I forgot that not all wolves are saints either. I’ve been so focused on your father because he’s human that I didn’t even consider that the men actually funding and dueling this entire drug racket...they’re wolves like me. That it isn’t humans who exploit us but men in power. Men in power who twist the law and use it as leeway to do whatever shit they want. “

“You couldn’t have known.” I said weakly.

“I could have. If I’d wanted to.  Two months ago Cha Eun Woo built a beach side resort in Jeju Do, very close to some endangered coral reefs I remember reading about it and wondering how he could have possibly gotten a permit to do that shit. But then i never followed through with it. And I wonder if it was because I considered him a friend. A friend whose favor I would need in the future. And what does it say about me, if my moral values are so selective? I can’t act high and mighty about bringing your father down while I’ve been letting Cha Eun Woo run a fucking sex trade right under my nose.” 

I pressed a palm to his face, my heart breaking at the sheer exhaustion on his face. 

“You can’t fix the entire world, Taehyung. You’re not meant to single handedly solve every problem in the country...... “ I whispered.

He shuddered.

“But if i don’t , who will?” He stared at me. “ Someone has to make an effort right?” 

I nodded.

“Yes... You’re right. And you’ve done enough. You’ve done more than your fair share. And you can do so much more, if you let yourself relax. If you let yourself breathe when you’re drowning you can swim so much further.” 

He stared at me. 

“My daughter.” He choked out. “ She really thinks you’re her mother. “

I bit my lips in distress. 

“Tae, I’m so sorry-”

“ Her mother died when she was barely three....So she doesn’t remember her much. She only remembers her scent which was yours.... She... She really wants you with us, Rae.”

“You shouldn’t have said that on the phone. What were you thinking calling me her mother...” I whispered, shaking my head. 

“  I think I  saw you as Luna’s mother. the moment you held her that day, in the dock , in the rain. The way she relaxed in your arms...The way her face lights up at the thought of you... I... I want that for her. I want her to have that...forever.” 

I let myself look at him. 

“And what about you? What do you want? “ 

He held my gaze for a long time. I felt my heart begin to pound, anticipation clawing up my spine. 

“a bowl of patbingsu would feel great.” He said seriously. 

It took me a second to realize what he’d just said. I punched his shoulders, not in the mood for jokes at all.

“Sorry sorry...that was bad timing.” He grinned. 

“The worst. Are you asking me out or not?” I demanded.

"I am asking you to move in.” He said softly. “ As my mate.” 

I couldn’t bring myself to speak. 

“It may seems too much , especially for a human but I’m a were and I want you in my house. Want your scent there, mingling with mine and I want my daughter to see us together. I want you to be...the woman I love.” 

“Don’t throw the L word around like that . It scares me..” I muttered and he smiled.

“I’m not a teenager Rae. The L word as you call it, it doesn’t scare me. I have a daughter, I know love in its purest form. And I’m not afraid of saying it either.” 

“Well, I’m just not sure if you even mean it.” I said desperately. 

“I do mean it. I love you and I know that because I broke every rule I’ve been keeping for the past twenty years , just because of a five minute video clip of another guy touching you .” 

I shook my head.

I felt overwhelmed. 

Somewhere beneath that chaos, I was happy, of course I was. But for now, the exhaustion and weariness won out, and I edged closer, resting my head on his shoulders. 

He hugged me closer and i felt the gentle press of his lips against the top of my head. 

“Let’s sleep.” I whispered. “ I’m so tired.” 

He hummed.

“Would you like me to leave?”

I shook my head. 

“No. Stay.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up sometime in the middle of the night, to find myself on my side his arms wrapped right around me, tight and firm. I wondered how numb his arm must be, and wriggled a bit, swallowing the dryness in my throat.

He grunted and gripped my waist, stopping me from moving.

“You need to stop grinding on my dick, darling.” He choked out. I froze, face flaming. 

“Sorry... I...”

“It’s alright. What’s wrong?” He whispered, fingers brushing my hair back. 

I stared at the wall in front of me, lightly stroking the arm wrapped around my waist. 

“I feel better when I’m with you.” I whispered. “ Even when i barely saw you, those months in your home in the preserve...I always felt better when you were around. It was irrational, how much I liked you and wanted to be with you, seeing as I didn’t know much about you at all... And It makes me wonder, if perhaps you and I, perhaps  we aren’t that different.” I said. 

He hummed.

“How so?”

“Maybe wolves aren’t the only ones who can sense their mates . Maybe humans can too....maybe we sense it but we’re just too scared to act on it.” 

“Why should you be scared...?”

“Because sometimes, even your mate rejects you and that stings.” I smiled. His grip tightened around me.

“I will spend the rest of my life atoning for what I put you through...” He kissed my neck and I trembled. 

“It wasn’t a sin.” I said laughing at how serious he sounded. “ It was you being true to yourself . i appreciate that.” 

“But I hurt you. I hurt my mate. As a wolf that is unforgivable.” 

“Well , then you’re lucky that I’m not a wolf, aren’t you? Because I’ve already forgiven you.”

He tugged me around gently till I was on my back, before climbing on top of me. 

“Can I kiss you?” He brushed the hair off my face.

“I don’t know. Can you?” I grinned at him. 

He growled. 

“brat.” 

He pressed his lips against mine, a soft and gentle touch that lasted for just a few seconds before he drew back. 

And then he leaned in again, this time , lips parting, soft and wet as it closed over mine, tongue sweeping across the seam of my lips, begging entrance. I relaxed into the pillows , letting him take the lead. 

Taehyung kissed like he did everything else, firm and hard but somehow careful and gentle.

 The soft press of his fingers on my chin as he tilted my face for better access, the way his tongue licked into my mouth in soft kittenish licks, the way his teeth nibbled on the plushness of my lip, only for his tongue to lick and sooth the sting right after....

His kisses tasted like scotch and honey, like spring water in the middle of summer , cool and refreshing nd reaching so far inside me that I ached for it. He was strong and warm against me, his hair felt like spun silk beneath my fingers . i traced the contours of his face , the sharp edge of his jawline, the softness of his perfect brows and the sharpness of his collarbones. 

My mind was reeling by the time he pulled away. 

“Can I fuck you ?” He asked softly and I jolted at the filthy words in that deep earnest tone.

“I don’t know Can yo-?”

He didn’t let me finish. Groaning as he sat up, gripping the hem of his t shirt and peeling it off. I watched as he shimmied out of jungkook’s sweatpants ,before straddling me again. 

“Take that t shirt off for me.” He smiled and I quickly shrugged it off. 

“Mmm.... beautiful. I love your breasts....such pretty pink nipples.” He said casually and i choked a bit when he reached down, thumbing at the hard nubs till they pebbled up under his touch. 

I threw my head back as he bent over, peppering kisses all over my jaw before moving down to lick my nipple, lips closing over the nub for one second before nipping at them with his teeth. I felt the hardness of his erection against the softness of my stomach as he grabbed my panties, tugging them off me.

“I like it rough.” I whispered into his ear and he growled, reaching forward and grabbed the hair at the back of my head, yanking me away from his face. 

“Then let me fuck your face.” He said casually, scooting forward and pressing his cock right up against my lips. I took the hard length of him into my mouth. He tasted tangy and familiar , from the texture of his skin like silk on steel , to the way slight saltiness of his precum on my tongue. I loved the way his fingers gripped my hair, just a little too tight for comfort and a little short of violent. 

I moaned in disappointment when he pulled out a little, but only to place himself properly , one hand gripping the head board for support. Bracing himself against the headboard, Taehyung threaded one hand through my hair, gripping carefully till heat seeped through my entire body at the sting of it, and then he began thrusting into my mouth gently, pushing past my teeth and deeper into my mouth. I inhaled each time he pulled out, trying to tamp down my gag reflex, as i took the entire hot, wet length of him inside my mouth. 

He picked up the pace, letting go of the head board in favor of gripping my hair in both hands, holding me in place as he fucked into my mouth till my eyes watered. 

I felt myself  dripping wet with arousal and I tapped his thighs. He pulled back to stare at me.

“You alright?” 

“Fuck me.” I choked out, throat fucked raw and voice breaking. “Need you inside me now-”

He didn’t wait for me to elaborate, grabbing my waist and turning me over at once.

“Hands and knees., grab the headboard.” He growled and I scampered to obey. 

“Good girl, Now just hold on let me make you feel good, yeah, baby?” 

I felt a soft, wet kiss right on my spine, before fingers gripped my hair again , tugging me back just as he slid right into me. 

The shock of it made me stop breathing, his cock so thick and hard it felt like I’d been split open. 

“How does that feel baby? ...” He whispered, bending over and kissing my neck. “ Am i making you feel good” I fought to get words out and then groaned when he slid back in , a little rougher and a little faster.

He stopped again, pulling out and hitting my thigh, the sharp sting making me yelp.

“Roll over, sweetheart.” He whispered and I blinked groggily, rolling over to stare at him. He grabbed a spare pillow, folding it in half before pushing it under my hips. 

i blinked in confusion as he loomed over me again, this time grabbing my leg and throwing it over his shoulder. before pushing back in. deeper this time, the tip of his cock hitting so deep that I felt a sting of pain that made me wince.

He caught the look on my face and smiled, apologetic.

“Sometimes, too big isn’t too good. You’re a little small for me, I’m hitting your cervix. Let me fix that.”  He fixed the pillow again and this time when he pushed in , it was pure pleasure, his cock brushing my g spot with ease and making me clench around him like a vice. He moved to his knees, still inside me and I groaned in protest when his weight lifted off me. 

“Wanna see you cum, angel..” He whispered, using his thumb to press and slide over my clit in smooth, little strokes . I could feel my wetness leaking all over the place and I felt my throat go dry when he scooped up the dampness, before tracing the slick wetness all over my nipples and bending low and licking it all off.

“Taste so sweet, my baby...” He whispered, “ Wanna try?”

I barely registered what he said, eyes fluttering shut and I yelped when he lightly flicked my lips.

“Open your mouth..you should taste how good you are...” He grinned wickedly. 

Before i could reply he was already slipping two fingers between my legs, collecting more of the heady slickness. I moaned as he slipped the fingers into my mouth, smearing it all over my tongue , the spicy sweetness foreign and yet arousing against my tongue.  I felt my eyes widen as the taste filled my tongue, making me clench harder around him. 

“Tell me you taste good...” He pulled back and rammed again inside me , is fingers moving back to my hair and gripping tight.

“I.. i taste good..” I stuttered.

He grinned in appreciation and held my hips, swiftly flipping us over till I was on top, his cock slipping out of me because of how wet and messy i was. I struggled to pace myself and yelped when he casually grabbed my hips, lifting me up and bringing me down till I took the entire hard length of him inside. 

“Wait...stop.” He said suddenly and I froze. And then he was sitting up and turning me around making me kneel, facing away from him and i finally noticed the large dresser mirror, right across from the bed. 

I met his gaze through the reflection, swallowing. 

“When I watched you put on make up today, the way you stared at me through the mirror and put me in my place.... I was thinking I should do this.... .stare at you through a mirror someday and put you in  your  place. Didn’t think it would be so soon, baby.” 

I panted as he moved behind me, using his hands to lightly part my thighs. And the he was pushing closer, sliding into me and I gasped, gripping him tighter as he used one hand to fondle my breast while the other wrapped tight around my hip, bracing me for his thrusts. 

It lasted less than two minutes. I came unraveled, my mind exploding in glorious white hot pleasure and his warmth washed inside me, filling me and dripping down my thighs till i fell back against him, boneless and spent .I fell forward on to mattress, my limb jelly and he groaned, draping himself over me. 

“Hope that was sufficiently rough and filthy for you, my dear.” He whispered. 

I could barely think, let alone string words together so i stayed quiet, letting him pull me closer and hold me tight. 

i shifted as he moved to settle his head on my breasts, his arms and legs draping over me while his breath fanned hot and cold against my sweat slicked skin. 

His phone buzzed right next my head and he frowned. 

And then he laughed, turning to show me the screen

 From Jeon Jungkook :

I’m in the next room hyung!! Fucking stop. !!!

 I grinned despite myself.

Good Lord. 

~~~~~~~~~

 Author’s note : 

Ummm...hi?

Guess this isn’t ending in ten chapters fml.

@veronawrites

@ladyartemesia

@bumb1e–bee

Some of you sent me an ask to be tagged but i couldn’t tag you guys...probably because you’ve made your profile private.... So I’m sorry about that.

[silkybullets]

“Death Call”

Midland Hotel, 1925, sitting alone at a table the evening before Christmas, Tommy's icy eyes met with a face he never had ever thought of seeing again, not whilst being alive at least. Which lead us back to Birmingham, 1914, after he volunteered in Small Heath rifles, he spent his last couple of months home holding your hand in the hospital, watching your colours fade as dying of an unknown disease.

Warnings: English is my second language.

Words: around 2k

Tommy just ordered a drink, adding to that a whore, a brand new one in honor of Christmas when he initially went to light his cigarette. His eyes drifted to a table further away where a woman was already sitting down. He did recognize her, remembering the sweet touch of an old lover. His stiffened body didn’t receive the orders to continue moving sent by his brain, his mind too occupied playing memories of before the war. Before it all begins, or all ends, depending which side you’re looking.

One the other side of the room, you were searching the pockets of your woolen coat. When you finally found your cigarette case, you got one out, sliding it in between your soft lips. After pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, you hassled lightening up your cig and welcomed the poison in your lungs as if it was the purest thing. 

The waiter came closer to you, putting down your rhum, which you drank in one go and ordered another one. It’s been a couple months you didn’t drink and, after this first shot you don’t remember why. When doctors failed to diagnose you and closed your file with a lung disease you were young and never tasted the flavor of the liquid poison. But at the cliff of death, God granted you the wish to live.

Too bad that’s when your memories of endless & lonely drinking nights happened. 

Coming from a christian family, it was no question for them you had been chosen by God to do something great in this world. Pushing their luck they sent you to an orphanage run by nuns to pay your debts to God. When their initial idea was to keep you pure for as long as you were to be alive, you chose a different path for yourself, bounged down into alcohol, drugs and whatever came with it.

Saying you were a non-believer would be too much, but the idea of being some kind of “chosen one” was nonsense to you, that just meant death was right under your nose or waiting for you at the corner of the street. What happened next was logical consequence, your depraved self was sent back home after the nuns numerous warnings were ignored. You did not change, and decided not to. 

When being saved or witnessing a miracle helps people get their life in order, it had the reverse effect on you and you had yet to get your shit together.

When they recommended you to drastically change your ways for the sake of your family if not for you, you gave in. You had siblings, and knowing how hard your family could be on them at times, you didn’t want to leave them alone. But your good will ended tonight.

You looked at the filled glass in front of you for what seemed like an eternity,  weighting the pros and cons of getting drunk tonight and all the other after that one. You being dead or alive it’ll be okay for your family, you assured yourself to avoid feeling guilty for choosing not to fight. 

Ten minutes and three empty cups later, you were ordering another one. The waiter was intently looking at you, concerned, while you were ignoring his pout.

“You sure you want rhum, ma’m, Can I bring you something else, gin perhaps?” He was as smooth as one could, but the implicit meaning behind his words irritated you the most.

“Do I look like I’m sad, eh? Tell me ‘cause I don’t look at meself in mirrors these days.” You begin, agitating your fingers that were holding another cigarette. 

“Gin’s for sad women, whiskey for big boys crying, rhum for people like me: We are not sad enough for trying to drown our pain in gin, not hopeless alcoholics enough to to get drunk with something as tasteless as whisky. We simply enjoy a slow death with a sweet and spicy flavor. Please bring me the whole bottle this time.”

Without realizing it, you offered the man the warmest smile he had seen tonight and he gave one back even if still quite taken aback by your confusing revelation.

Tommy had seen enough, he got up throwing a bill near his drink and cleared his throat for lack of clearing his head. He walked to the table, the woman he once knew was seated, his voice already reaching her ears before their eyes would meet.

“Is this seat taken?” He motioned to the second chair around the table. Finishing another glass she invited him to sit down with a move of hand. Her cigarette in between her lips, she poured some rhum into her glass and ultimately lifted her eyes to his face.

“Are you sick of the hotel whore, Thomas? Am not one if this is your question.” She blinked as puffing on her cig. 

“Merry Christmas to you too, Y/N” He coughed. “See you haven’t changed a bit.”

“Nor did you.”

Lies, it was all lies, if it wasn’t her eyes he hadn’t recognized her. The woman he was in love with was long gone and so was the boy who loved her.

“So OBE it is, now?” She looked up to him.

He stayed in her eyes before daring to speak, and break the eye contact.

“You were always used to call me Tommy, we can stick to that.”

She didn’t respond nor look at him, keeping for herself any emotions his words had unleashed into her, if they did.

“What happened to you?” He spoke in a more vibrant ton. An attempt to ease the heavy atmosphere.

“War happened to us, Tom.” 

His eyes snapped open on her.

“What France did to you, remaining alive did to me.” She offered him a fair smile, looking straight at him with the same piercing gleam hiding behind her iris than when they were younger. 

“We all came back alive. John, Arthur, Freddie... Although they are now some missing pieces.”

“Yeah, fucking pieces spilled everywhere. It’s looking like the puzzles we used to play when we were younger, huh? Does that ring any bell?” She giggles.

It was hard for him to read her, he didn’t know what he felt either. 

He stayed at the hospital three months straight holding her hand as her colors were fading. He remembers vividly how difficult it was for her to breath, speak, even keeping her eyes open was a huge sacrifice. But she’d never compromised to keep them shut as he told her to, his face gave him the strength of an army, as she used to say. And that had him laugh, even though now he doesn’t remember the last time something as close as a laugh came out his throat.

“Don’t get fucking lost in memories, Thomas. Just ask for it.” 

She poured some liquor into her glass and slowly slid it to Tommy as if anticipating him telling her he didn’t want it.

He watched her moves with amusement, it was odd to him to find her here, but even more peculiar was the fact it seems like she knew him still. Like those ten years that separated them weren’t there, like there wasn’t a day they didn’t think about the other fondly. Her gaze didn’t leave his, and he knew exactly where her mind was because his own was at the same place. She was getting all the information she could to try to match his now tired face with the one she had been picturing in her head all those years.

“Okay then.” he nodded. “ Where have you been?” 

A smile appeared at the corner of his lips, they were playing a game he couldn’t only play with her, she was the one girl before France, everyone got their advantages.

“Fucking dying of being alive after I got strunk by some miracle.” She raised a brow as if to voice the displeasure of missing the boat.

“I thought you were dead.”

“I wish I was, Tommy.”

He let out a long sigh. Once again he failed at keeping a light atmosphere. It was to be said she wasn’t any help.

That’s when he realized no matter how it felt like they were still the same teenagers, back in 1914 before everybody got fucked up, no matter how hard the memories were hitting him this exact same instant with their first kiss, their first touch and the first time they exchanged their desire to live a life together, they were not the same. Nothing was.

She was only a mere shadow of herself, and he? He couldn’t even look at her in the eyes for more than five minutes, too afraid it would dig out things that must be kept where they were nowhere to be found for his own sake.

Every little thing about before France hurt him. Even the happy throwbacks, especially the happy throwbacks. Knowing he would never feel those feelings again, never get silly about the breeze meeting with his skin or the rising of the sun at the top of a hill killed him most. That’s why he didn’t want to ask more about what happened to her. But at the same time, the questions came naturally to him, as if he waited all along to throw them out, taking off his chest a weight he never realized to initially be there.

“Have you done better after I left?”

“I did. For a time. Some years, in fact, even though my parents sent me to a nunnery to thank God for his mercy.”

He snorted at her words.

“Why doesn’t it surprise me? They were always about keeping you saint, even asked me to fucking give up on taking you running in the fields to watch the night sky until sun rised, they never thought it could be the other way around, you leading me.”

She laughed at this thought.

“Don’t you dare say this as if you disliked me being the lead, Tommy Shelby.” She sneered.

“No, I indeed liked it.” He shook his head without hesitation.

“If only they knew what we did, in those nights.” They both spoke, their voice overlapping along with their minds.

“Tommy you got to follow me, or else we’ll be too late.”

“Let me catch a breath, we got all the time to come up the hill some other nights.”

“Don’t be silly, it’s tonight the fireballs are going to be running in the sky!”

“You aware it’s not called “fireball” and that they are not ‘running’ in the sky?”

The girl stuck her tongue out, turning to him, her eyes mechanically squinted at the move. She did not realize he was right behind her and faked all along still behind at the feet of the hill to annoy her. His body strongly collided with her, making her stagger but Tommy’s arms locked her waist firmly, avoiding her body from meeting the ground, and his lips dropped on her mouth in a second, she couldn’t even close her eyes during the kiss.

“Stop it!” Her suave voice worded as one of her hands went hitting his chest, even if her deepest desire was for him not to let go of her lips.

“I’m thinking about that one night we first fucked. Bodies wet both by sweat and dew“ She muttered.

He was sitting but naked on the grass, his fingers intertwined in her hair that was falling at her back as holding her tightly. She was the type of flowers you thought were beautiful but couldn’t help but rip off the ground, dooming them to die in your hands. 

Her legs were strongly wrapped around his hips, she was carefully grounding down on him, making sure every of her moves were slow to make the pleasure last. She turned loose the grip of her arms around his neck and leaned backward so he’d hit her from another angle, this one allowing him to reach the bottom.

Her screams filled his ears and soon enough his mouth as she straightened back up, seeking his eyes, wanting to connect even more. The darkness he ignited in her eyes that night never left, always leading him to always want her, even in the most inappropriate places.

“I was thinking about that time at the local church.” He admitted.

“Every-fucking-body heard the screams--” She proudly stated.

“The priest was more than disturb” He added. “But they never found out who that was.” 

“Well, we know.” She handed him her cigarette. He gladly took it and smoked as much as he could, clouding his lungs as well as his mind.

She giggled some more, shaking her head both sides, she couldn’t believe they did such a thing, but knowing as mad they were when together, it was all figured out.

“It came back, Tommy.”

“What did?” He gained his serious tone back, eyes locking with hers.

“The disease, they say it’s even more violent this time, but I know it just never left. It has been lurking in the dark to come back when I’ll be happy again. But seeing I figured out its plan, it decided it was time to finish me off.” She sang. Her voice was devoid of any sadness, and he noticed it. “I think it’s a curse, Tommy. Run in our blood. Me grandma’ had that too, it passed a generation, leaving my mother and little sister alone. But I fear for the others.”

Old reflexes leading the way, Tommy’s hand fondled hers in the most natural way. He leaned forward to her as she took off his lips her cigarette, filling her lungs with that poison in hope it would kill the one that resided in her since way too long.

[lesbianbuck-archived]

EVAN BUCKLEY WEEK DAY SIX - “LET GO OF MY HAND” + ANGST

The day so far has been quiet, not that Buck will ever make the mistake of saying that out loud again.

Obviously Buck became a firefighter for the actual fighting fires part of the job, but he likes these shifts once in a while: a few hours between each call, lounging and snacking and getting his ass beat at Mario Kart. Having just finished dinner, they’re only halfway through their shift, and Buck is lounging on the couch next to Eddie. Holding his hand. 

Because, yeah, that’s a thing he can do now.

Eddie is reading something on his phone and Buck is just existing next to him, watching Chim and Hen bicker over the next video game they’re going to play since they stuck some of the probies with dish duty. It’s nice, it feels like home, and Buck lets out a sigh and leans his head back against the couch, closing his eyes.

He’s shaken awake by Bobby an unknown amount of time later, and when Buck finally opens his eyes and processes his surroundings, Bobby is looking at him with a tense expression.

“Buck, your parents are here. We couldn’t get them to leave.”

Buck sits up abruptly and looks over Bobby’s shoulder to see his parents standing at the top of the stairs, holding each other in the cold way that only people who have spent a lifetime caring how people see them can manage to do. And honestly, Buck just woke up and he’s not thinking straight; the only thing going through his head is survive because he feels like a kid who got caught red-handed and his parents didn’t care that he slept around as long as it was with women—

“Shit, Eddie, let go of my hand.”

Eddie replies, “What?” but he still drops Buck’s hand like it’s searing hot.

“Um,” Buck clears his throat and pushes himself up off the couch, laser-focused on his parents but not able to look them in the eye. “What are you guys doing in LA?”

“We came to meet our granddaughter,” his mom says, and Buck can’t imagine that went well. He hopes Chim did most of the talking since Maddie is still trying to fight her way out of the dark. “We figured we would stop by and say hello.”

“You didn’t have to,” Buck replies. Even though he and his parents had worked out some of their issues in therapy, there are still things he can’t talk to them about without tearing open age old wounds. Their relationship will never be idyllic. Buck just has to accept that, as much as the little kid in him still yearns for their approval. For their love. “I’m fine. I’m, uh. I’m good, actually.”

He realizes everyone else has scattered to give them space, and he kind of wishes that they hadn’t. Being alone with his parents always makes him feel like he’s about to get scolded, even now that he’s 29 and they don’t really have the right to scold him for anything anymore. He stands his ground though, even if deep down he doesn’t feel brave, and a few tense words later they leave as quickly as they came.

When the coast is clear, everyone slowly shuffles back into the loft area except for Eddie, and Buck only notices because he’s itching to see him.

He goes looking because he feels untethered, needs to be grounded, and finds Eddie stocking supplies in the back of the ladder truck with the doors closed. And that’s concerning because Eddie doesn’t ever close the doors, says he needs to be aware of everything around him at all times, a relic of coming home from Afghanistan but especially after—

Well. After.

Buck knocks on the doors a little harder than he means to, and Eddie looks up at him through the little window. Buck can tell he’s deciding whether or not to let him in, and Buck doesn’t understand why until he remembers Shannon, and then he does.

He yanks the door open before Eddie can get to it, climbing up inside and closing it behind him.

“What the fuck—”

“Eddie, that wasn’t what you think it was.” Eddie stares somewhere in the vicinity of Buck’s knees, his lips pressed together. He doesn’t look angry—it’s been a long time since Buck has seen Eddie angry, so he’s not surprised—he just looks… hurt. Buck’s heart aches. “Look, it’s not because I don’t want people to know, or that I’m ashamed or anything, it’s… it’s just—”

“You don’t want them to know.”

Buck exhales through his nose, his fists clenching uncomfortably at his sides. Not… exactly? He eventually wants his parents to know, needs them to see how happy Eddie and Christopher make him and watch them fight between their impeccable social personas and their rage that will be just underneath the surface. 

“They caught me off guard, Eddie. I just reverted back to being fifteen when they would barge into my room and see me with…” Buck trails off. Stares down at his feet. “They never cared if it was a girl. But they would scream if it…”

Eddie’s hand is soft where it touches his elbow. “Buck, I understand. It was hard to work up the nerve to tell my parents about you, but once I did, telling them was easy. Because honestly, as long as they leave Christopher alone, I don’t care what they think. But you… you still care.”

Buck nods, still staring at his feet. He shouldn’t care anymore, but he does, and he also cares about having it out in public where everyone else can see. Usually, Buck has no issue airing out his dirty laundry in the middle of the station, but whatever his parents might say would cut deeper than anything even Bobby could ever say to him. He doesn’t want to make that into a spectacle.

“Buck, look at me.” Eddie’s eyes are warm, but his stance is firm. “I understand the way that you’re feeling, and I need you to know that I trust you. With my son’s life, with my life, everything. But if you’re not ready to give everything to this, then you know… you know we can’t. As much as it would break me, Christopher doesn’t deserve anything less than full commitment. I won’t put him through that.”

“I know,” Buck’s voice shakes. “Eddie, I know. You’re right. I’m sorry. I just couldn’t—not in front of everyone like that. I feel like I belong here, and I can’t let them taint it by yelling at me for being with you. They don’t get to ruin this. It would break me too, Eddie.”

Eddie’s thumb rubs across the skin of his arm, and Buck can feel his eyes start to water. Not now, not when he’s trying to be serious, every fucking time—

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry too. I jumped to conclusions about why you hid.”

And Buck thinks back to Shannon, about how Eddie hid her from everyone else even though they were married, how they sneaked around and only saw each other when they could cover it up and what that ultimately meant for her relationship with Christopher. “I understand why you did. But you have to know I would never be ashamed of you and Chris, and I would never do anything to hurt either of you. Especially not Chris.”

“I know,” Eddie says casually like he believes it, and of course he does because they’ve talked about it, and he pulls Buck down by the shoulder to kiss him gently. “I told you, I trust you. I just need you to be one hundred percent on this.”

“I am,” Buck says without hesitation. He reaches down and slides his hand into Eddie’s, squeezing in a way that he hopes is reassuring. “My parents are in town for a few more days. What do you say we go tell them tomorrow?”

Eddie squeezes back. “You want me with you?”

Buck smiles, bending down so he can bump his nose against Eddie’s. “Always.”

[tuiyla]

enjoying your anti-finn tag, and just thinking about how as annoying as he can be in S1-2, there's some awareness of it on the writers' part. Lines like "I have to work so much harder at pretending to listen to her" are douchey, but deliberately so. They mostly know who this guy is. S3 is when I feel they lose the plot. Compare S2 prom to S3. S2 KNOWS Finn is wrong, that he is ruining this night for both girls. S3 has him literally assault Quinn in front of everyone and end the night as king.

Are you psychic Anon because I was just writing a new entry for the anti Finn Hudson tag when you sent this lol.

I see what you're saying; honestly, I think the writers were always way too far up his ass to be able to see what a douchebag they had created, but early Glee is often more tolerable with Finn. And season 3 is quite probably his worst season, where I just repeatedly wanna punch him and avenge the people he's hurt.

The way I would probably put it is that he was at least a more enjoyable character in the early seasons. You're right, certain lines are at least deliberately douchey because Glee still had awareness of its satire roots and wasn't afraid to extend that to Finn. You know, scenes like the one he has with Will in the locker room in Sectionals make me cringe because it essentially boils down to "oh poor little white boy who everyone looks up to and thinks is cool", but then he does at least genuinely step up as a leader. And I've said it before though haven't properly elaborated that I think Finn could have been a super interesting character who struggles with high expectations while never feeling like he's enough. But Glee rarely ever allows space for his mistakes and flaws and thinks it has to always default to him as this heroic leader, which frankly makes me wanna puke.

The season 2 and 3 proms contrast is a good point and I thank you for making it because there's truth to that. In season 2, he gets kicked out and that's that. In season 3, not only is he allowed to come back after very nearly physically assaulting a girl in a wheelchair but he's crowned Prom King because of fucking course he is. And Quinn is the villain in that situation! How. Glee refuses to acknowledge 95% of Finn's bad actions, that's how. He's consistently a hypocritical douche who doesn't give a shit about women's agency in particular but he's the straight white guy RM wished he was friends with in high school so it's fine I guess. Finn is just another puzzle piece in Glee's messed-up morality where good characters are good regardless of their awful actions and bad ones will stay bad no matter how selfless or kind their actions are. He's an enormous piece of that puzzle, but just one piece nonetheless. Worthy of a thousand posts, honestly.

oh wow truly some king shit right there <3

I'd just like to add one thing even though I do think you're right about how Glee's perception of Finn is even more warped as the show goes on. The first instance of a deep dislike for Finn I can recall is 1x10 Ballad, when telling the Fabrays about Quinn's pregnancy is framed as his truth to tell and we're told the story solely from his perspective. I remember feeling so weird about that framing and how Glee didn't for a second seem to care that Quinn was just disowned and it was all Finn's fault because he had to live his truth or whatever. It was a complete disregard for her agency, not for the last time, and throughout it all Finn is our hero. An ignorant, wildly frustrating manchild excuse for a hero. Little did I know how Glee would eventually piss me off even more with an instance of Finn's blatant disregard for a woman's agency and the show's framing of it.

So, you know, it's a general problem that Glee is just stuck very high up this man's ass and can't see past this idea of ~the quarterback~ who leads this group of losers. Season 1 does at least acknowledge his shitty moments, notably his homophobia towards Kurt, but like I said it also has instances like Ballad. And to be clear that was a complicated situation but still fuck Glee for trying to tell me this was his story to tell.

At the end of the day, I can honestly say that I'm glad you're enjoying my anti Finn tag and only feel maybe a hint of guilt about that. Guilt, because I don't believe in anti tags and needless negativity, but upon looking at his character even just now I can't pretend that raging about Finn's writing isn't therapeutic and I can't pretend I don't think it's 100% justified. I'll still say nice things about what the character could have been every now and then but the lack of awareness on the writers' part is exactly why I'll never be on board Finn's character. He's just way too frustrating to me - way beyond the example of IKAG, which is what most people assume is the sole reason behind my distaste for him. Oh no, it goes deeper.