#you can talk anti finn to me any time anon

[space-station-nursery]

🛰️⸝⸝Welcome to the Space Station Nursery 🪐

☆ ・Personal info ! ˖ ˒

🦊Little Dipper︰Hi! im Finn, also Finnegan, finny fox, fishy finn, and more to my closest friends and moots! Im 21 and my pronouns are They/Them! My timezone is CST. I like Bubby, jay, baking and cooking, playing games, reading (by myself and with bubby) making decor stuff and making custom things! Blues clues !!! if you see a blues clues ask from an anon, its probably me.

Dislikes︰I HATE Bugs, bugsbugsbugs. Being confronted(confrontation), purposely being misgendered, having my boundaries disrespected, bubby or jay being purposely misgendered, bugs and uh-…. i think thats it lol

🦌 Big Dipper︰Hi im FD, im 21 (22 in august) and my pronouns are He/Him. My timezone is MST. I LOVE BABI BEAR, our friends, gaming, cars, anything that has moving parts, reading and watching crime stuff, watching movies and playing games with babi and our friends, and really love the flash as well!

Dislikes︰I dont like icky people coming to talk to babi and i (i dont really like talking to people in general), People misgendering babi or my friends or being rude towards them, and i dont like when people disrespect my boundaries I also dont like the idea of sitters because so many people in the community that we have encountered have bad intentions, but there's nothing else i can think of rn

☆ ・Space station boundaries ! ˖ ˒

Combined︰We are engaged and not seeking romantic or platonic littles/cgs! Dms open for anyone +16 or -26. If interested, interact with our posts, as random messages can be uncomfortable. If you would like to be moots/friends, please at least interact with our posts first

🦊Little Dipper︰Please use tonetags when directing asks towards me. Please Ask before DM-ing me on my personal blog @babis-little-corner and i will let you know! If you notice I interact with something not SFW, please let me know! Do not use any nicknames in asks/dms unless we are close/moots. My CG doesn't appreciate people we are not close with trying to call me things like "little one" "cutie" etc, and quite Franky neither do I...

🦌 Big Dipper︰Please Do not ask me to be your cg, I’m Happily caring for Finn and only Finn, I don’t have all that many boundaries just don’t do anything that’s gonna upset Finn and you’re alright with me!

☆ ・Dark Matter DNI ! ˖ ˒

Whats a DNI? These are "Do not interact" boundaries, this means that if your blog meets any of these criteria you may be blocked\banned\removed from a persons socials. Below are my DNI's so make sure to read them!

・Are anti-agere/agedre(or petre/petdre), an NSFW blog/"SFW" kink blogs like Dd!g/abd!/md!b and other variants. Are an 18+ only blog, Terf, etc. Anything that you would not show a child does not belong here ・Bigoted individuals or peoples that believe in Anti-LGBTQIA+, Pro-ana, Pro-SH, Anti-recovery, MIKs or MAPs, Extreme left/right views, Pro-life, Pro-war, transmed, Pro-mia, Anti-Neos/Xenos. ・Over the age of 27. While you could be a regression blog, and completely SFW, individuals over the age of 27 can become a trigger due to my PTSD. Minors are always welcome, although we will most likely not follow back ・Are a blank blog. This means no banner, profile pictures, posts or names. Blogs like those tend to become a problem and we don't wish to deal with it.

We will block liberally

☆ ・Rover Regression info ! ˖ ˒

🦊 Little Dipper︰I am a flip-leaning regressor, regressing from 0-4. I am a sleepy but bubbly regressor, mostly using items like pacifiers. Despite my trauma, I can regress for small periods of time while assisted, but its a great start and hopefully when FD and I live together it'll boost my regression more!

🦌 Big Dipper︰I am Finns CG, and I love my babi bear! I do everything I can to make sure they feel safe and comfy here when regressing, as well as when they aren't

Sitter views︰We do not see sitters as something either of us would want to be apart of unless it was us sitting for/being sat by someone we know very well. My current sitter is @sleeplessjunkie Who generally just regresses with me when bubby is gone while we play games !!!! We will either talk a lot or not at all, and thats ok bc talk is hard! (we're both autistic)

☆ ・Solar System Sillies ! ˖ ˒

Posting schedule ish︰(Finn has a problem with keeping ideas up, so im going to try and reduce the amount of things being posted by me!)

✩⸜⸜ Affirmation Monday ✩⸜⸜ Text post Tuesday ✩⸜⸜ Worksheet Wednesday ✩⸜⸜ Reblog Thursday ✩⸜⸜ Funday Friday ✩⸜⸜ Refresh Saturday ✩⸜⸜ Shoutout Sunday

Our anon list!︰✨, (☀🐝), 🩷, 🍥, 🦭, 🦝

Send us an ask to claim an emoji and show up here! <3

Linkies!︰

Pronouns Page ⸜⸜ Finns pronouns Instagram ⸜⸜ Alphabet Paci's Shop Agere twitch ⸜⸜ Alphabet Soup The Hundred Acre Woods (discord)⸜⸜ Discord.gg/hundredacrewoods Littlewavez (discord)⸜⸜ Discord.gg/Littlewavez

🛰️ ⸜ ⸜ Thank you for reading! - The space station team ! (tags below)

[tuiyla]

enjoying your anti-finn tag, and just thinking about how as annoying as he can be in S1-2, there's some awareness of it on the writers' part. Lines like "I have to work so much harder at pretending to listen to her" are douchey, but deliberately so. They mostly know who this guy is. S3 is when I feel they lose the plot. Compare S2 prom to S3. S2 KNOWS Finn is wrong, that he is ruining this night for both girls. S3 has him literally assault Quinn in front of everyone and end the night as king.

Are you psychic Anon because I was just writing a new entry for the anti Finn Hudson tag when you sent this lol.

I see what you're saying; honestly, I think the writers were always way too far up his ass to be able to see what a douchebag they had created, but early Glee is often more tolerable with Finn. And season 3 is quite probably his worst season, where I just repeatedly wanna punch him and avenge the people he's hurt.

The way I would probably put it is that he was at least a more enjoyable character in the early seasons. You're right, certain lines are at least deliberately douchey because Glee still had awareness of its satire roots and wasn't afraid to extend that to Finn. You know, scenes like the one he has with Will in the locker room in Sectionals make me cringe because it essentially boils down to "oh poor little white boy who everyone looks up to and thinks is cool", but then he does at least genuinely step up as a leader. And I've said it before though haven't properly elaborated that I think Finn could have been a super interesting character who struggles with high expectations while never feeling like he's enough. But Glee rarely ever allows space for his mistakes and flaws and thinks it has to always default to him as this heroic leader, which frankly makes me wanna puke.

The season 2 and 3 proms contrast is a good point and I thank you for making it because there's truth to that. In season 2, he gets kicked out and that's that. In season 3, not only is he allowed to come back after very nearly physically assaulting a girl in a wheelchair but he's crowned Prom King because of fucking course he is. And Quinn is the villain in that situation! How. Glee refuses to acknowledge 95% of Finn's bad actions, that's how. He's consistently a hypocritical douche who doesn't give a shit about women's agency in particular but he's the straight white guy RM wished he was friends with in high school so it's fine I guess. Finn is just another puzzle piece in Glee's messed-up morality where good characters are good regardless of their awful actions and bad ones will stay bad no matter how selfless or kind their actions are. He's an enormous piece of that puzzle, but just one piece nonetheless. Worthy of a thousand posts, honestly.

oh wow truly some king shit right there <3

I'd just like to add one thing even though I do think you're right about how Glee's perception of Finn is even more warped as the show goes on. The first instance of a deep dislike for Finn I can recall is 1x10 Ballad, when telling the Fabrays about Quinn's pregnancy is framed as his truth to tell and we're told the story solely from his perspective. I remember feeling so weird about that framing and how Glee didn't for a second seem to care that Quinn was just disowned and it was all Finn's fault because he had to live his truth or whatever. It was a complete disregard for her agency, not for the last time, and throughout it all Finn is our hero. An ignorant, wildly frustrating manchild excuse for a hero. Little did I know how Glee would eventually piss me off even more with an instance of Finn's blatant disregard for a woman's agency and the show's framing of it.

So, you know, it's a general problem that Glee is just stuck very high up this man's ass and can't see past this idea of ~the quarterback~ who leads this group of losers. Season 1 does at least acknowledge his shitty moments, notably his homophobia towards Kurt, but like I said it also has instances like Ballad. And to be clear that was a complicated situation but still fuck Glee for trying to tell me this was his story to tell.

At the end of the day, I can honestly say that I'm glad you're enjoying my anti Finn tag and only feel maybe a hint of guilt about that. Guilt, because I don't believe in anti tags and needless negativity, but upon looking at his character even just now I can't pretend that raging about Finn's writing isn't therapeutic and I can't pretend I don't think it's 100% justified. I'll still say nice things about what the character could have been every now and then but the lack of awareness on the writers' part is exactly why I'll never be on board Finn's character. He's just way too frustrating to me - way beyond the example of IKAG, which is what most people assume is the sole reason behind my distaste for him. Oh no, it goes deeper.

[thehollowprince]

I'm actually very ship and let ship so long as you're doing so like, with your eyes open about what you're doing. So when TFA came out and r*ylo became a thing I thought "I personally hate this but at least we can have some good conversations about why we see a white man being violent to a woman onscreen and instinctively parse that as romantic." What a clown I was, huh? Years later all the "Ben is a cinnamon roll uwu" discourse has turned me entirely off Star Wars. Let alone the damn kiss.

Oh, you're preaching to the choir.

I've long grown accustomed to people shipping the weirdest or even outright abusive ships, but I stayed in my lane. I realized fairly early on that no matter what you say to these people, pointing out how toxic or abusive a relationship is, that they'll bury their heads in the sand and outright ignore you, oftentimes shouting about how I (and others) are "ruining their fandom experience".

That's why how I found myself in the "Anti" community (if such a thing exists). I started tagging my posts condemning these horrible ships appropriately, and they (the shippers) still came for me, often trying to use their own history of past abusive relationships as justification for supporting the ship. To which I usually responded with "to each their own" while scratching my head as to why, if they suffered that kind of abuse, would they support a ship that repeats that behavior.

I stay in my lane, but these people don't take any criticism of their ships well. It always baffles me as to why they go looking for posts that criticize something they love, but that's an overarching fandom problem that I don't have any kind of an answer to.

Circling back to R*ylo, I've said it on my blog many times before, but I originally liked Kylo. I thought he could have been one of the best villains in the Star Wars franchise. When I left the theater after The Force Awakens, I was hopeful. I left that theater knowing that Finn was the male protagonist/lead of the new trilogy and under the impression that Finnrey was going to be the big romance. But then Johnson and Kennedy did The Last Jedi and everything went downhill after that. They just reinforced the stereotype that all bad (white) guys (they're always white) actually suffered some horribly tragic backstory and therefor they're just "lashing out" and are totally justified in their irrational anger.

Someone said it better than I could, but (and I'm paraphrasing here) the reason so many of these villains or antagonists are romanticized or immediately forgiven (both by the narrative and the fandom) is that we're used to the POC being the bad guys, so when a white guy is the villain, the white guy writing him feels a kinship and says, "well they're not bad, they're just misunderstood".

For the record, I'm a diehard Finnpoe supporter. I thought John and Oscar had amazing chemistry together and within the confines of the story, it would have taken minimal effort to make that relationship happen. That being said, this is Disney, and I never actually expected that to happen. I, like many others who watched the movies, were certain they Finn and Rey would end up together, but sadly that didn't happen.

Speaking of Finn, the fandom's complete erasure of him as a character and lead is what made me be so anti R*ylo, because more often than not, when trying to woobify Ren, they systematically dismantled Finn's character and gave his backstory and redemption and nice qualities to Kylo, thereafter calling him Ben Solo. This all-encompassing notion that a black man couldn't be seen as a viable love interest for the white female lead is obnoxious and leads into a further discussion of why fandom, despite constantly calling for more Characters of Color, often overlook them, especially when they're in main and/or leading roles.

(I mean, we know that they only want the diversity if it's in a subservient role to the white people, but they don't know that we know, so we're not going to talk about it. Well feign ignorance a little longer.)

But this problem of cannibalizing a hero of color to enhance a white character isn't new. Anyone who's been to my blog in the last few weeks knows that I've been dealing with a particular Anon who absolutely loathes Scott McCall, a Mexican-American character and the titular character of the show Teen Wolf. That fandom (probably the most toxic I've ever encountered) had continuously gone out of it's way to demonize the protagonist to prop up his best friend/sidekick, often by stripping Scott of his good qualities and draping them around Stiles in an attempt to make the character more palatable.

I used to be very much a "ship and let ship" person, but I draw the line at the erasure/demonization of the characters of color in an attempt to make those crack ships happen.

(PS: sorry I took so long to get to this. Tumblr is... well, Tumblr, and I haven't been getting the notifications that I've gotten mail.)

[hamliet]

BSD chat anon:

I said Reylo fans who tend to be white women,” NOT “all of whom.” I know Reylo fans of color exist. They are NOT the issue. I’m talking about the power imbalance between white people and POC in fandom (and spaces outside of it). I’m talking about racism from white Reylo/Star Wars fans in general. I know I don’t represent all POC. Nobody does. I hate it when white people and POC alike force people into those positions. I have OCD too—I know about the overthinking and anxiety that comes with that kind of position. I am not invalidating the identities and perspectives of people from my own community and other communities of color. Why the Hell would I repeat the same violence done to me and other POC?! I’m talking about how certain statements from a white person can seem like an attack on POC who hold opposing views,especially since we’re conditioned to expect them. For instance, when you said you hate how people “cry abuse” in regard to Reylo, my first thought was, “Are you talking about visibilityofcolor, a relatively well-known black abuse survivor who’s been vocal about her opinion on Reylo being an abusive ship and has been the target of racial harassment in the Star Wars fandom?” As you’ve mentioned once before, it’s impossible to include a million disclaimers in every single post. Plus, it’s impossible to know everyone and their perspectives. That’s the same for me as it is for you. But can’t I bring up things POC with similar sentiments as mine go through without being seen as a threat toward people with different attitudes, let alone my own people? I’m getting riled up now. Let’s end the conversation for now.—BSD Chat Anon                                       

I don’t mean this to sound dismissive, but I truly don’t know what you want from me. Are you saying only POC can like Kylo Ren? Are you saying I have to engage with antis, when most of them would prefer not to engage with shippers and they might, in fact, trigger me and I might trigger them? Are you saying I haven’t read critiques of a Rey-Kylo dynamic and considered them? Because I have. I’m not saying their feelings and experiences are invalid or that they can’t dislike anything, only that I do not share their feelings and bring my own baggage to fiction. I’m genuinely asking all of the above questions as well, because I genuinely am confused. You say you know you can’t make all the disclaimers in a tumblr ask, but you then go on to hold me accountable for not making 5 million disclaimers while giving yourself a pass for talking in very vague terms. I understand that as a white person I may have privilege in being able to assume disclaimers whereas you may not, and I’m sorry, but that still doesn’t address how much time I have/don’t have to add them. That it is this way is wrong, and I try to be mindful, but I don’t know how to fix it. 

Your assertion that you felt I was talking about a specific anti--whom I have never heard of--and that it is a microaggression to not realize that you might be thinking of a specific person--is very confusing. I do my best to be sensitive and to correct things when I am wrong, as I should, but I am not in control of your associations. I am not responsible for your feelings or your thoughts. I can’t say that you aren’t hurt, because I believe you are, but I can say I don’t know what I could do differently in regards to that.

I was not intending to accuse you of dismissing their identities. I am sorry if it seemed that way. I was pointing out how there are a variety of viewpoints even from overlapping identities, which your statement of how most antis are POC (when this is not my experience) implied otherwise to me. I am sorry if this was wrong.

You insist that I erred by...listening to multiple POC voices and making my own decisions about my preferences for the story as I saw consistent with the themes and spirit thereof, and my opinions ended up just not happening to align with yours? I’m not sure this is your point, but if it isn’t, I don’t understand what your point is. I don’t understand how that is a microaggression, or how I am not allowed to say what most of my experiences with antis have been--because I am always writing from my own experience. Again, I realize I use general terms a lot, which I have been and will continue to be working on (a good reminder), but return to paragraph one and how we are limited in space for disclaimers.

I do read differing opinions, and follow many people who dislike Kylo and/or Reylo, including dear friends; they just might not be the exact same ones you follow. I also don’t owe you my rationale about everything. I’m not always interested in revisiting arguments I’ve dealt with from years and years ago.

As far as power positions in fandom go: yes, this is a major issue. I support discussion on this, but don’t believe I should be leading it. As far as Reylo goes, there are quite a few Reylos of color who speak out quite often, and have called other Reylos out on their anti-Blackness before. I’m happy to reblog voices of those who are leading discussions about fandom power dynamics and race, and have been more active on Twitter with this. 

However, I won’t reblog from antis, as I consider them morally in the wrong because they are focused on hurting others rather than critiquing the story (I don’t think rabid stans of anything are much better than antis). Also, for the record: not every person who dislikes something and posts about a dislike is an anti; people become antis when harassing and bullying others/make their fictional taste moral imperatives. Trust me, I’ve posted a great deal of critique and am fine with critique. I’m just not cool with rape threats or accusations of supporting abuse, because those are very serious, and I believe should never be trivialized. I also believe most antis are posting from hurt and a strong desire to have people validate their pain--whatever it is based in. But I don’t think lashing out at others is okay, ever. 

In the months leading up to the film, you sent me well over half a dozen asks that were all essentially begging me to convince you that you had to like Kylo, which I refused to do. I told you why I liked him but pointed out that dislike was completely valid and personal taste didn’t in any way take away from anything about you. I eventually stopped answering you because you would not accept an answer in which I essentially told you to make up your own mind. I do not understand why you are now accusing me of not considering others’ perspectives--over nine months since I last posted about Star Wars. Your list of microaggressions has thus far has only been me liking Kylo Ren as a character--and he isn’t even my favorite; Finn is. Maybe we got sidetracked, but it seems to be more about taste than about actual microaggressions, which would have been better to keep the conversation to. You seem to be assuming I’m making moral judgments based on taste, but I’m not intending to; if I’ve conveyed otherwise, I’m sorry, but again--time is not an unlimited resource. 

Not related to the current topic, but: you have sent me upwards of twenty asks in a single night. You have pressed topics I am not comfortable talking about. You have done it all on anonymous, wanting enough credit to use a signatory name, but not enough to take any responsibility. You said all you wanted was a discussion, but that’s not what this has been. I understand again there are things that might make you not feel safe to do that, but I no longer feel safe to have these conversations with you (though I will continue to have them with others), as you have violated my boundaries too many times and I’m not convinced you’re acting in good faith. I have blocked you. 

Attacks on Anon are still not allowed. Also, I am open to receiving critiques on microaggressions, because I am 100% sure I make them and I would like to do better. I’m just posting this because I process my thoughts through writing far better than through speaking, and because we did have a communication for about a year. 

[sometimesrosy]

Anonymous said:You think you are snarky but you can't even explain why Clarke didn't react to Bellamy being dead #she was sure he was dead# when she's been crying over L for decades now 😂 Guess you aren't that snarky!

+++

that--

aww darling, that’s not what snarky means.

Google is your friend, nonny. (that is snarky.)

Clarke didn’t react to Bellamy being dead because she’s the one who left him behind to die. When she did that, it was a choice. It wasn’t something she discovered. She left him behind to die and assumed that he did.

Then she went cold and ruthless, she went hardcore wanheda and turned off her emotions, and dragged Madi off whether she liked it or not.

And for that matter, even though she’s the one who left him for dead, Clarke DID react to the thought of him being dead, when she was dragging Madi through the woods and Madi made a dig at her, saying Bellamy was probably already dead. She nearly tripped.

Then when she found out that Bellamy wasn’t dead at all and that he was alive, she reacted AGAIN. Not only in some subjective “oh what does that look on her face mean,” but in dialogue. “Oh NOW you care about Bellamy?” “I always cared about Bellamy,” teary eyes included.

I’d also like to point out to you that she has not been crying over L for decades. A decade is *ten years.* This show has been on for *six* years. The show has portrayed a time span of less than *seven* years. When you say someone has been doing something for *decades* you are saying they have been doing it for AT LEAST 20 years, because the plural of a decade is more than one ten year period.

I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume english is your second language and you are not just ignorant, lazy and mean.

But also, not only are you using words wrong and interpreting Clarke’s reactions badly, but you’re also continuing some stupid ship war that honestly does NOT need to be happening.

I am not nor have I ever argued about whether or not L loved Clarke or Clarke loved L. They loved each other it’s canon, it’s part of her character and her story.

However, The 100 is no longer about that storyline. It’s over. We have had some moments where we get closure on it. The character, while not alive anymore, has still been in the flame so we get to have some continuing moments that help Clarke make peace with the past and move forward.

It’s quite interesting that the CL antis and the Blorke antis are nearly indistinguishable when they send nasty anons. Are you salty because your ship is dead and trying to prop up CLs importance in the narrative? Or are you salty because your ship has not boned yet and are trying to prove that JR is an evil villain who hates Bellarkers and I am delusional for still shipping Bellarke?

This story is about bellarke. Clarke is in love with Bellamy. Clarke DID love L and then she died. If she hadn’t died, they wouldn’t have worked out, because L wanted to kill her people and Clarke did not want her people to die and that’s kind of an insurmountable relationship conflict. This, of course, is not canon, because L didn’t live. So you are free to think whatever might have happened if she had lived.

But we do know that Bellamy DID live. And Clarke loves him. She talked to him 2199 days straight. She was jealous of B/E. She reaches out to him constantly. She cares for him, very very deeply. And he returns the feelings.

Things aren’t figured out yet, this is true. They have not kissed (except for a kiss of life) or confessed their feelings of love (although they have confessed their feelings that are the definition of love (need, care, trust, believe, commitment, partnership, etc.) They have not boned. This is true. Of course, love is not defined by those things. No it’s not. That’s a shipping definition that COULD show a romantic relationship, or it could show a short lived and intense sexual encounter of varying meaning (because sex doesn’t mean love and kissing doesn’t mean love and saying you love someone doesn’t mean love either because people can lie or change their minds or have bad ideas of love.) What makes a romance in a story is a STORY. ABOUT. ROMANCE. 2 characters. A connection. Yearning to be together. Obstacles in their way. And if you get to the end of the story, eventual union of the couple in love.

That is Bellarke. It does not describe B/E. There was no yearning. The obstacle in their way is that Bellamy loves Clarke. It COULD be a love triangle where Bellamy chooses Echo IF the story were being told differently. If they showed us more connection between B/E than they do Bellarke. IF the minor attempts to recommit to Echo were followed through on. If there had been any development to understand why B/E was a lasting relationship, but there isn’t. All of that narrative has gone towards Bellarke. Which makes Bellarke the endgame romance in the love triangle of C/B/E.

CL could be described that way in s3A, but it would have to be described as a TRAGIC romance, because they can’t be together and then L died. Flarke might also be described as a tragic romance, even though Clarke stopped yearning for Finn because he was a creep. And then he died. He never stopped yearning. Actually it was only nominally a romance, it was a story of a bad guy who wanted a girl, and then became obsessed when he couldn’t have her. It was rather a stalker story.

You know what? I feel like I have explained all this shit so much and y’all just keep on ignoring me the way you ignore canon. CL is DONE. Mentioning that CL existed in the past is not a sign that CL is alive or endgame. That’s not what that means. Acknowledging CL is not a betrayal of Bellarke, because it was a part of Clarke’s history and development as a character. To IGNORE an important part of the story because some fans dont’ like it would be bad storytelling.

So suck it up, if youre a blorke, and accept that CL was real. Don’t be jealous. That’s stupid.

If you’re a CL, fucking leave me alone. This is a bellarke blog and if you hate bellarke and me that much you don’t belong here. If you dont’ like that I ship them that’s your problem. If you want to pretend CL is still endgame, fine I don’t care, but don’t do it in my inbox. It’s non canon. It’s NOT in the show. And this is a The 100 blog. I am a fan of THE SHOW, not your fanon.

[emperorren]

unreliable narrator anon - yes, and your interpretation is perfectly valid and accurate. however, the takeaway from the rest of the fandom seems to be, once again that Ben is completely innocent of any wrong doing. it’s mind boggling that his moral ambiguity is not only stripped by one side of the fandom where he’s perceived as pure evil - but what isn’t talked about enough is the other side of the fandom that thinks he’s completely good with pure intentions. He’s not. He’s a grey character

the takeaway from the rest of the fandom seems to be, once again that Ben is completely innocent of any wrong doing (…) what isn’t talked about enough is the other side of the fandom that thinks he’s completely good with pure intentions 

And why should we talk about it? 

if there’s a side of the fandom you don’t agree with, acknowledge it and move on. They want to woobify Kylo into an unproblematic character? It’s their fucking business. As someone who has been around since 2015 and has discussed and (respectfully) disagreed with a lot of reylo takes, I have approximately 0% interest in making sure that fellow reylos acknowledge Kylo’s crimes correctly. Mostly because I know the majority of this fandom and how it thinks, and I’ve read the millions of words spent to analyze every subtle shade of grey in Kylo’s character since 2015.

I actually think we should talk more about how and why, every time there’s some new canon detail that paints Ben in a more sympathetic light than before and Reylos understandably latch on it because it confirms our theories (and we wouldn’t be so smug about it if people hadn’t been pestering us with terrible kylo ren takes for 4 years), some of you IMMEDIATELY spin it into “the reylos think Kylo did nothing wrong and is a purely innocent character with no moral ambiguity oh MY GOD THEY’RE JUST AS BASIC AS THE ANTIS”. You do realize this assumption is terribly dishonest towards a fandom that has done NOTHING but relentlessly defend the beauty and validity of moral ambiguity and grayness not only in Kylo but in Rey, in Finn and in ALL the characters, do you.

We’re the last people who need to be lectured on Kylo’s complexity. Bad apples and niche discourse are irrelevant, I’m talking about the main lines of thinking in the fandom, and trust me, they’re not in danger of turning into black/white, blind woobification. We’re just currently more focused on his redeeming qualities, because we’re near the end of the journey. You may find some of the discourse surrounding him insufferable or dissonant with your interpretation, but that doesn’t mean that its proponents have suddenly forgotten (or never figured in the first place) that Kylo has done villainous things and is morally complex. It just means they’re at a point of the conversation where it doesn’t need to be acknowledged anymore.

Considering our fandom history, we deserve to be cut some slack when we rejoice at the fact that Lucasfilm is making Ben more and more explicitly blameless in a lot of the circumstances that were used as evidence for his /irredeemability/. We’re talking about the canon story here, and while moral complexity is good, this particular narrative is actually kinda simplistic from a moral perspective. Endgame-wise, the ways in which he’s good matter more than the way in which he’s (been) bad. The fewer crimes can be held against Ben in the canon story, the higher the chances that he’ll not only redeem himself, but also live happily ever after. It’s as simple as that.

[taraknowless]

i think one of the reasons people hate grace is that they have an inability to grasp the concept of quiet strength. grace never flounced away from tommy or waved a gun in his face but she wanted to sing so she argued her way into being able to do it, she refused to get sucked into "the life" when they married and didn't take his shit. etc, you don't need to do a z-snap in the air and pop your hip to be a strong female character and i think a lot of people don't get that

I love this, thank you, anon. These rather introverted female characters with quiet strength are too often underappreciated.

It’s funny because exactly the same happened with Tara in Sons of Anarchy, who is a very similar character re: quiet strength and she also got shit on by the fandom and is still one of the most hated characters on that show. A while ago, I read a very interesting article about this phenomenon (besides sexism), which has little to do with what you said but I’m gonna throw it in anyway and relate it to Peaky Blinders: The bottom line of this article was basically that the general audience rejects anyone who goes against our anti-hero, anyone who stops our anti-hero from doing ‘badass shit’. Now we meet Grace in the very first episode and very quickly find out that she’s a spy. At this point, Tommy is pretty much established as this badass character who we’re already starting to root for, but we know that Grace is supposed to bring him down. Strike one. We don’t want Tommy behind bars, we want him to thrive and be a badass, right?! So then, over the course of three seasons, they fall in love. Although Tommy is very happy with her and we should be rooting for his happiness, there is also this lingering dark cloud that Grace wants to get him away from the crime life. Booo! When she died, a lot of people cheered, because finally, the biggest influence in Tommy’s life is gone. In real life, you should and probably would be rooting for Grace, but since this is fiction and you want entertainment, you aren’t. Deep down you know that Grace was a great influence on Tommy, but that’s just not fun. Remember, you want to see our anti-hero thrive! People don’t tune in to watch small town criminal Thomas Shelby’s path to a happy and content life. They watch Peaky Blinders, because they wanna see his rise to power and how he’s slowly breaking apart.

So, in a way, I get it. I really do. The entire set up makes it easy to dislike any character who tries to move our anti-heroes away from the crime life, who tries to control them or who tries to influence them too much. That’s why Grace got shit on, that’s why Linda is currently getting lots of hate. You know who probably gets the least amount of hate? Polly. You know why? Because she’s basically Tommy’s right hand woman. You can dislike a female character without being a horrible person. You’re not immediately sexist (altho I like to argue that lots of men in this fandom are). Sometimes you dislike a character just because, without any deep reasoning and that’s okay too.

What I don’t get are the countless posts calling these women bitchy and annoying and all sorts of mean things. That’s not necessary and also just really sucks the fun out of the fandom experience for the people who do enjoy these characters. There’s always the possibility to have mature and grown-up conversations about these character. You know who I don’t really care for? Finn. I just don’t. I don’t have any real reason, I’m just very indifferent towards him. You know what I do? I just don’t talk about him. I don’t make countless posts and complain about him. 

The resurfacing Grace hate feels extra silly, because she’s dead and she’s been dead for a long time. You already won, guys. Let me ask you this: Is the appearance of ghost Grace and the reminder what she means to Tommy really so threatening to you?

[bellamygateoldblog]

Blog Summary Tag Game

Find your fandom kru and help them find you. Answer the following and include the tag #the100blog in your answer, then tag some of the blogs you follow.

created by @johnmurphysreddit tagged by @blodreina-noumou !

1. What are your primary topics?

My blog is pretty much divided 70/30 between t100 & skam italia (i do tend to follow more t100 blogs!) Sometimes there’s the odd post of other shows I watch/have watched.

Most of my posts are spacekru, but i reblog lots of pretty gifs/edits of anything from the show because they are beautiful and creators put lots of work into them! I’ll probably also be posting about Octavia, too, throughout s6 because i’m particularly interested in her arc.

I’m not the most eloquent writer, but i do write & reblog a fair amount of meta, some of which are very lengthy, and i understand it could be frustrating if this doesn’t interest you, so I always try to tag them as “#meta<3″ so you can filter them if you wish. (note: my blog is disorganised atm, i’m still pretty new & only just getting the hang of it lol but my newer posts are tagged properly).

2. What tags should a visitor check?

#meta<3 is where i store meta about the show, it isn’t necessarily all my own, but i do comment on quite a bit!

#anti clarke griffin is where all of my Clarke posts go, even ones that I don’t necessarily class as negative, because i think my general feelings about her character give off a negative impression regardless.

I tag with full names (e.g, #bellamy blake) and i do this with any other show besides t100 that i spontaneously reblog, too (such as #deadly class).

3. What do you love about The 100?

I love the dynamics between a lot of the characters, and i tend to focus on them a lot! There are plenty of instances where there are personality clashes, and where they’re forced to challenge one another. The dynamics also give pretty good indications of who are best suited as units or teams, and who can be percieved as being outliers to the rest.

I like that pretty much every character is presented as grey, it makes it more enjoyable to analyse them, their motivations, and their strengths and weaknesses. It’s possible to view a scene from multiple different perspectives and understand where each of the characters stand during that point in time, even when we don’t necessarily agree with them. I love the redemption arcs of both Bellamy and Murphy, I was always taken with their journey’s of seeking atonement, reflecting on their morals and place in the world, and growing as people as a direct result of their actions and the consiquences of them.

I like to be surprised; I can be a fan of major character death if it’s executed properly (no pun intended), and if this end point is consistent with the rest of their arc. I like when the trajectory of a character’s story changes suddenly, such as when Murphy went along with Jaha to the city of light, and then later regrouped with the rest of the mains, but as a member, rather than an outsider. Another example of this, just to be clearer, was Luna’s refusal to take the flame despite all the suspence and mystery surrounding her character, and i like that they didn’t result to compromising who she was in order to drive the plot!

I’m drawn to post-apocalypse/dystopian future style shows and movies for the new and exciting challenges they pose compared to the here-and-now. These types of shows are a great way of exploring ideas that wouldn’t otherwise be appropriate, such as corrupted morals, the difficulty of survival, and taking extreme measures in the face of danger. LOVE fight scenes, especially involving combat weapons, and the thrill the comes with them; they’re much more entertaining than guns.

I love some superficial drama in the midst of all the chaos, usually relationship and friendship conflicts. I feel it just brings so many more layers to the narrative, and makes the world it exists in seem bigger and deeper, while also serving to make the show more engaging by giving us something we can relate to better, no matter how silly it seems within the context of the show. This way, it doesn’t feel too plot-orientated and gives the viewer a breather from the darker aspects of the show. I think t100 did this better in the earlier seasons, especially with Octavia and Bellamy, as the dynamic conflicts that came later on all seem to be plot-related in one way or another.

I love the whole idea of finding your place in a world that works hard to suppress you.

My favourite characters are spacekru + Octavia & Diyoza (both bad bitches which i truely cannot resist). Deceased favourites: Luna, Jasper + Finn (I like the peaceful damaged ones okay)

I don’t focus too much on ships, but i have a strong preference for Becho!

4. What do you hate/what frustrates you about The 100?

Hypocrisy and double standards that exist within the narrative, and especially within the fandom. A lot of the time this is concerning Clarke.

The fandom climate in general! explicit and implicit hostility directed towards people who disagree with popular opinion, people unable to distinguish between actor and character, people opting to attack rather than discuss, people viewing the entire show through ‘shipper goggles’ and ignoring key elements of the narrative in favour of creating their own canon (people who ignore and twist past the point of it just being individual interpretation).

The wasted potential of Jasper & Finn as insights into the harmful affects and futility of war, and the puncture it makes on a person’s psyche. As much as these deaths had me shaken to my core, I could never quite get past the blatant killing-off of two of the more explictly mentally ill characters. Rather than a recovery storyline, the only solution to their struggles was death, and i’ve always felt like the writers had so much potential to address PTSD and depression more directly, through them. I think it could’ve made for an interesting storyline, and it would’ve given the writers more personalities, dynamics, and challenges to play with.

The belittlement/mocking of peaceful characters, which in a way expressed that hating violence and war made you weak and not to be taken seriously (Lincoln & Luna specifically, but also s5 Monty and s1 Finn).

Additionally, the lack of world-building. We were only given minor glimpses into the past of some characters, we didn’t get to see details on how the ark evolved, or how the present culture was formed from it’s history. We see the same approach with the grounders; we learn that every clan is different, but then we barely see how they are different. The small appearance of mutated animals and then no future mentions is another confusing point. I know most of this is simply due to time restraints, but there came a point where we didn’t learn any more than was necessary to advance the plot, and it just made the world and conflicts in it seem smaller.

Characters I dislike include Clarke, Kane & Abby (both equally as frustrating and eye-roll inducing).

5. Is this exclusively a The 100 blog?

No, but i usually only use one other main tag (skam italia) which can be filtered!

6. What else should people know?

I love engagement with my posts! You don’t need to be reluctant to add your own thoughts. Conversation is welcome as long as it is kind and respectful!

I usually don’t speak too openly about this, but I have depression, which means I sometimes go M.I.A and sometimes i’m here most of my time to keep myself busy. It varies! so if I fail to reply to anything, it may be because i don’t have the energy to just yet, but it isn’t personal!

I talk a lot in my tags, sometimes commenting on the post when i’m trying to avoid hijacking, and sometimes talking bs and tagging Bellamy “big sexy”

I have a lot of unpopular opinions in this fandom, i’m well aware of it lol but i don’t appreciate hateful anons (which i have had in the past, and they aren’t pleasant!) I prefer to keep anon turned on because some people are just more comfortable interacting that way, and that’s fine! but don’t take it being turned on as an invitation to attack me.

I don’t follow many people, but here are some people who’s blogs I love, who i tag to do this if they want to (though i know this kind of thing isn’t for everyone!)

@bound-by-stardust @fleimkepakosskairipa @awkwardnarwhall93 @fleimkepajohnmurphy @ringabellamy @spacekru-defense @skaiengineers @alrightsnaps @bunker-boyfriends

Sorry if you were already tagged!!

[mandaloriangf]

the reylo batb au debacle

long post ahead. tw: racism

i. preface

i dont make call out posts. i think a lot of people abuse call outs, like that one reylo who made a post about me that just consisted of screenshots of me venting on my own blog in the proper tags. i dont know if i would call this a call out, per se. most people (antis, reylos, and bystanders) probably already know the gist of this situation. my reason for making this post is primarily because the original post of mine has gotten rather long with me reblogging it and adding on (you can see the most recent version here) and i would like to have more of a masterpost of sorts, since im a petty bitch who can’t let things go. 

ii. the story

i was alerted by an anon to a fic, which is an a/b/o beauty and the beast retelling with rey as belle and kylo as the beast. in gaston’s place is finn. i haven’t read the fic word for word nor do i want to, but i searched finn’s name in the fic and this is what came up.

(note: most of these screenshots are from my original post, but i’ve added on with chapters that have been published since then)

“Myself if necessary; somewhere out there is my mate, and I will wait for them.” She said resolutely, holding her breath against the smell of pine and charcoal rolling off him. She had never found Finn’s scent a pleasant one.

“I believe Rey is missing,” Finn said with a scowl. “and I don’t like it when my things go missing.”

“Rey has never been yours.” Obi snapped. “She’s not a piece of property.”

“Details.” Finn smirked. “Now, are you going to tell me where she’s really run off to? Or are you holding fast to your ridiculous story of monsters and secret castles?”

Obi narrowed his eyes, refusing to entertain the brute anymore than he had to. “I think it’s time you were on your way, Finn. Please feel free to head in the opposite direction should you feel the urge to call upon me again.”

Finn shook his head, rolling his eyes heavily. “I’ll be back, Obi. I will find out where Rey is hiding.”

Obi shut the door in his face quickly, eager to be rid of the boorish oaf. He leaned against the wood, pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing gently to ease his frustration. He should have been more open to Finn’s help, he could take all of it that he could get. Still, seeking aid in Finn felt like escaping the hounds to land in the fire. Hardly an improvement.  

“She’s the only one who’s rejected me. Me. The nerve of her. No. This won’t stand. I’ll track her down if it’s the last thing I do.” Finn snarled.

Finn took a long swig from his freshly filled tankard the server had just finished capping off, a small smile playing at his mouth as his plan gained more and more merit in his mind. Rey would not allude him for much longer. He would find her, and show her exactly who she belonged to.

Charles frowned. “I don’t want Finn anywhere near Rey. I don’t trust him. He’d sooner force her into mating with him as rescue her.”

They crept deeper into the forest, making sure to maintain vigilance as they scanned the forest for anything strange. Finn wondered idly how Rey would have even made it through this woods, a mere woman. When he brought her back home, he would be sure to have a talk with her about what is and isn’t acceptable.

She scrambled backwards then, her back meeting Artoo’s haunches as he pranced away. She felt distress coursing through her, wanting no part of Finn or his strange obsession with her. “You’ll not touch me.”

“Shh.” He whispered. “You’re only confused. All will be well.”

“Leave, Finn. Go back to Jakku. No one wants you here, least of all me.” She spat.

He growled low, yanking her up by her hair. “You’ll learn your place, Rey. Once I bring you back to Jakku. First though, I will take care of the bastard who dared to touch what was mine.”

“I. Am. Not. Yours.” She ground out, her scalp smarting from the grip he still kept on her hair.

“You will be.” He assured darkly.

He didn’t realize he had lost until it was too late. He glanced down, the iron bolt plunged deep into his chest. For a moment he merely stared at it, his breath coming out in heavy pants as he tried to process what he was seeing. A gurgle sounded in his chest, coughing up a spray of blood. His mouth fell open in disbelief, taking a step backwards as his hand went to the bolt.

He gripped it in his fist, tugging it outwards and throwing it to the ground. His hands pawed at the hole in his chest, blood pouring over his fingers as he swayed slightly. His knees trembled, falling to be ground and kneeling. He gave a final shuddering breath, falling forward in a slump and going still. Rey dropped the bow as if it burned her, leaning her back against the tree she’d used to steady herself and gasping for breath. She felt relief and remorse in that moment, the knowledge that she’d taken a life outweighed only by the knowledge that she’d saved one.

(context: the above is rey murdering finn to save kylo)

as you can see, finn, star wars’ first ever black lead, is portrayed as a violent, aggressive, rapey misogynist who threatens rey psychically and sexually. he believes rey, a white woman, is his property and rey must kill him to save her lover, a white man. i mean, this whole thing should be very obvious. i dont care that its fiction, i dont care that its fanfiction. fiction does not exist in a vacuum and if you believe so, biases like this WILL go unchecked. 

i was infuriated after reading this and found a note where the author addresses previous accusations of racism

I was more or less labeled as a racist today for my characterization of Finn, and I felt the need to briefly address that. It was never my intention to lead anyone to believe that my dislike of Finn has anything to do with his race. I dislike his character canonically purely for reasons that have nothing to do with the color of his skin. I obviously realize he’s not a villain, and that he’s out of character. I will not apologize for the way that I’ve written him, as I know in my heart I meant no malicious intent, but I will apologize to anyone who has thought even in the slightest that I was being oppressive or insensitive. I know myself and that’s not who I am, and that was never my intention. I want to go ahead and post this because I don’t know when my next will be and I wanted to leave it on a good note. I don’t foresee a long gap, don’t worry, but at this moment I don’t feel good about the story and I need a few days to reassess where it is going.

iii. the comments

while i easily could’ve just moved on since there are a number of reylo fics out there much like this one, knowing that this one had such popularity and such a tone deaf author, i decided to venture into the comments and lo and behold, the amount of hate for finn was blinding. 

there are plenty more, but i hope this can give you a taste of what the comments section looks like. 

the author’s hate for finn basically boils down to this: he’s indecisive and he lied to rey. that’s it. that’s what the author uses to justify writing finn in a vicious, anti-black stereotype. 

at some point, an anonymous commenter called out the racism.

a concerned citizen: So are you ever gonna address how racist your characterization of Finn is or what.

ktf: Oh lord. No because it’s blatantly not true. He is characterized heavily in concordance with the classic Gaston character. Possessive, arrogant, pig headed… Your complaint is reaching and you can take it elsewhere. Jeez Louise. So silly. Have you even seen Beauty and the Beast? I don’t like Finn as a a character in canon for reasons that have nothing to do with his race (because I admittedly love John Boyega irl as well as in Pacific Rim, the only other film I’ve seen him in) and as such I characterize him as an asshole for my own self satisfaction.

a concerned citizen: Look I love Reylo as much as the next guy but if you need explaining why it’s racist to make the black character who is, in canon, nothing but a kind and supportive friend, into a sexually aggressive misogynist then I don’t know what to tell you. It costs zero dollars not to demonize black characters for your own “self satisfaction.”

ktf: So, to be clear, if I had used ANY other character from the film who had been kind and supportive, Poe, Han, Holdo, Leia, Snap, Kaydel, Luke… as long as they hadn’t been a POC it would totally fine? Do you see my confusion? It’s an alternate universe.

a concerned citizen: A: Demonizing black men as sexual aggressors bent on possessing/raping white women is a long-standing trope used by white supremacists. It’s done to dehumanize black men and drum up fear in white folk so that they feel threatened enough to commit acts of violence. This is one of the most basic tactics of antiblack racism.

B: Gaston was never a part of the original fairy tale. He was made up for the Disney adaptation to add tension and to counterbalance the Beast to make the message crystal clear for the little ones watching– don’t fear The Other. Gaston represents the cultural hegemony of masculine behavior in Belle’s culture; the Beast, on the other hand, is The Other, the outsider, the marginalized force. Black people have practically been The Other in Western media for centuries. Now I’m not telling you that you have to make Finn the Beast or else it’s bunk, just that you have to be aware of the characters’ roles and what they fulfill in the narrative. Making Finn the Gaston character was a conscious decision you made– you took a black character and plopped him into a role that was specifically made to be the representation of toxic masculinity, that decision isn’t made in a vacuum.

C: Absolutely no one is holding your feet to the fire to make sure that you follow the plotline of the source material verbatim. Certainly you took liberties with what form of beastliness Kylo had, so you could have similarly chose to alter Gaston’s characterization in some way or you could have made Finn a different character entirely. Like I mentioned before, Gaston was not in the original fairy tale and so the narrative works fine without him. Finn exhibits none of Gaston’s character traits in canon so you chose willingly to sand him down so you could fit a square peg in a round hole– an action that, as mentioned previously, reflects the rhetoric of white supremacy for the past few centuries.

ktf: Okay. You know what? You obviously woke up this morning itching for a soapbox. So, may the force be with you and may your crusade keep you warm at night. This is a fan fiction, not a doctoral thesis, so if you don’t mind I’m just going to continue living my life. I can assure you no thoughts of “demonizing” a race ever crossed my mind while writing this. It’s not who I am. This doesn’t deserve my time because you, A. Know nothing about me. B. Obviously have way too much time on your hands. C. Aren’t worth the stress you’re causing. Have a blessed day!

iv. the aftermath

since my original post, i have been silently blocked by the author. antis who are poc have gotten anon hate, which has often been radicalized while i, a white anti, have not received anything wrt this fic. the author has gotten cocky about the whole situation, she has a bunch of adoring readers who coddle her, and she refuses to listen to any form of criticism.

now that i’m at the end of this post, i’m not really sure what i want to come out of it. i wanted to include more, but there’s so much shit to wade through in the comments and that doesn’t even account for what’s on the author’s tumblr. reylos, this shit has to fucking stop. you need to hold each other accountable, you need to call each other out bc this is exhausting. 

[janiedean]

Hi Janie! So, I admit to a bit of ignorance pertaining the whole “anti”-debacle. I’ve seen anti and anti-anti posts that say the same thing, sometimes it’s about morally offensive things, sometimes about completely unrelated stuff and I can’t make heads nor tails of it, especially since there isn’t really a wealth of actual information? Just rants... *sigh* If it’s possible, do you think you could explain what the problem is? (Does that need to be in plural?) and the „sides“? Thank you! ❤️

anon you asked the question of the century I’m afraid X°D THAT SAID let’s... see if I can make this understandable.

so: the anti debate is... pretty much tied to the whole ‘politics in fandom discourse’ and you can’t separate the two of them sadly. of course I come from the not anti side of fandom so what do I know. anyway, premise:

what happened is that in the last two/three years, whether we liked it or not, the debate in fandom has moved from ‘my ship is better than yours’ to ‘my ship is better than yours because it’s more progressive/woke’, which has gone hand in hand with the political fandom views of any media product, ie ‘you can’t watch that because it lacks representation’ or ‘that show is crap because it’s not woke enough or doesn’t treat that topic well’ and so on, and with a tendency to think that if you ship anything you want it to be canon because it only is worth anything if it becomes such (which imo is bullshit but never mind);

this has moved on to also judging people based on their ships, as in: ‘ship X is wrong because it’s problematic for X reason therefore if you ship it you support X irl and you’re problematic and you need to be stopped’. such as ‘thor/loki is wrong because it’s incest so if you ship thor/loki you’re okay with incest irl and you want to bang your siblings if you have any’, which is a ridiculous notion but this goes also hand in hand with the fact that people have suddenly decided to trash all the psychology that confirmed how violent videogames don’t influence reality and now think that liking something problematic influences you irl because they don’t grasp the difference between fandom and mass-media consumption of a mass-media product;

they also don’t grasp the concept of catharsis through media nor of the really basic concept that most normal people who see themselves in fiction don’t take the entire package but relate to specific things;

keeping THAT in mind:

the whole ‘anti’ thing, as ‘people being opposed to a ship or a trend’ is basically people saying that you cannot ship a thing or be into a problematic character or kink because it says something about you and not about your fictional preferences and actively go around being assholes to people who ship the thing while at the same time gatekeeping/policing their own ships which are of course Purer Than The Others and bringing politics into it, too;

this also goes with a frankly problematic (AND I’M USING THE WORD NON-IRONICALLY) attitude that those people have of equating age gaps with pedophilia always and considering children people older than thirteen/fourteen, which automatically makes them think of people who ship age gaps even in between adults pedophiles (I kid you not a friend who’s over thirty in a rship with a person fifteen years older got told that their rship was pedophilia because their partner was an adult when they were a child at some point in their lives. I mean, IMAGINE THAT.);

to give the to-go example these days because it’s sadly the worst: sw sequel trilogy fandom. rey/kylo has been targeted by antis as the to-go Most Problematic Ship because in order:a) enemies to lovers as a trope which is of course abusive if the good side is a woman (more on that later) b) both are white (so it’s racist to not ship her with the non-white people in the light side *roll eyes*)c) they have a ten years age gap (so it’s pedophilia even if rey’s of age and she kicked his ass more than once)d) he’s not technically good looking so it sets people’s worst instincts offe) these people don’t buy into the fact that people can be redeemed so they decided he’s absolutely Not Redeemable and so onf) it’s an m/f couplenow, rey/lo is admittedly a fairly tame ship as far as problematic goes - it’s honestly your typical enemies to friends to lovers trope that’s been in media since the beginning of time, but according to these ppl it’s The Worst and if you dare being into it you must be a pedophile, racist, misogynist (or internalized misogynist), straight person (because of course only straight ppl ship m/f) - and yes, being straight is a problem but more on that later. but since you can ship her with finn (black) or you could ship finn and poe (black and latino actors) if you’re not into either you’re problematic. too bad that if you ship finn and poe (WHICH I DO) these days it’s... let’s just say I’ve seen a list of ‘problematic f/p writers’ where the reasons for the PROBLEMATIC was that they took a fluff ship and wrote it dubcon. oKAY. also pre tlj fandom was full of block lists for r/eylo shippers where you’d get the name plus ALL REASONS WHY THEY HAD TO BE HARASSED OUT OF FANDOM which you will imagine does not sit well with me since that’s... like... the most fascist thing you could do (NO REALLY BAN LISTS OF PERSONE NON GRATAE WITH REASONS WHY THEY WERE IS A THING THAT HAPPENS IN DICTATORSHIPS AND SOCIETY WHERE EVERYTHING IS CENSORED LIKE BANNED BOOKS) in this circumstance, but hey, if you’re anti-reylo and you’re doing the above you’re just doing the work of the lord because you’re saving people from the Horrible Problematic Ship, and meanwhile I don’t want anything to do with a fandom where people do block lists for how you write your fanfic IN GENERAL. like, concrit is more than welcome but lists? please don’t fucking kid me;

I used r/eylo as an example because it’s the epitome of what anti-shipping ends at, but there’s also sh/eith from voltron which is two guys, with a seven years age gap but both are adults now and were older than 15 when they met, who have the sweetest less problematic relationship ever and people who ship.. the other rival ship decided that it’s pedophilia, SUPPORTS INCEST on the grounds of one of the two tell the other ‘you’re like a brother to me’ SERIOUSLY and that it’s abusive and by shipping it you’re a pedophile. k;

also, this entire thing ties with the fact that these people seem to think that having sex when older than fourteen is somehow bad, which means that if you write someone under the age of 18 (and sometimes NOT EVEN THAT see voltron above) you’re automatically a *pedophile* even if teenagers aren’t children and fictional characters are fictional and never hurt anyone, and that goes hand in hand with the fact that these people seem to largely be against kink;

specifically: ‘bdsm is abusive’ (???), ‘you can’t be a feminist if you like kink’ (OKAY???), ‘if you read/write noncon fanfic you have a problem and you’re terrible’ etc, with a specific subset being against specific kinks that play on a certain angle ie daddy kink and so on which are PEDOPHILIA now, which is again an extremely puritanical way to see the world, not progressive;

at this point we have a situation where a bunch of *antis* specifically target people who are into *problematic* things whether it’s ships, characters, kinks and so on and are going like THINK OF THE CHILDREN half of the time. the children being them, of course.

at this point we have the other discourse we need to have ie about the age and sexuality of the people involved in fandom and why it matters:

now: a lot of fandom is made up of women. it’s statistics. a significant statistical part of the old guard (25+-30+ people ie my generation plus the previous 40+ older generation) is cis women (who can be straight or bi but are attracted to men) who went into fandom writing m/m slash. a significant part of this group is into either problematic ships or kink and such on. but in our understanding of fandom, the key terms were ship and let ship + your kink is not my kink + don’t like don’t read. as in: outside your usual MY SHIP IS BETTER THAN YOURS wank was generally understood that people liked things different than yours and that you had no business being an ass over it, and back in the day warnings were at the beginning - when I went into fandom warnings were not a thing. now there’s warnings everywhere which is GOOD and guess why ao3 was made by... the old guard/old fans, which of course are not very pleased with being told they’re pedophiles or perverts for shipping a thing or, *drum rolls*, that they fetishize gay men by shipping m/m or writing m/m porn, and are fairly vocal about it;

on the other side, this new wave of younger fans who thinks is progressive along with older fans who are assholes/most likely grooming the youngers (because this anti shipping thing is seriously cult-like at this point) calling the old generation all the stuff above and pushing the idea that they want ‘old straight ciswomen out of fandom’ because ‘they have gross ideas and THEY DON’T WANT TO READ OUR GROSS FIC’ and such things. we can also talk for ten years about how the new wave has decided that straight = insult but again, tumblr politics. all goes hand in hand;

so basically the sides are ‘younger fans who thinks they are progressive but are actually being puritan af’ vs ‘older fans who want to do their damned thing’ with some people obviously crossing into the others’s territory;

(and mind that not counting SW, most of the anti drama happens in fandoms for... animated cartoons and the likes - vo/ltron, ste/ven universe and so on, which says a lot about the age discourse, but nvm that);

now, the problem is that by telling some woman older than you that she can’t safely explore her sexual fantasies/kinks in fiction about fake characters you’re basically doing the same thing as policing women’s sexual fantasies that has been going on since the dawn of time, so it’s actually hella misogynist, and the fact that it goes with people saying that you can’t be a feminist who likes kink and that kink is abuse/misogynist... is still policing women’s sexualities, irl and fictionally, and that’s what they’re doing at the end of it;

on top of that, they’re also policing what non-straight, non-female fans who ship problematic stuff do and most of all, there’s the shipping to cope bush of thorns.

about shipping to cope:

now, this entire system had to, at some point, deal with the very true fact that a lot of people who are into problematic stuff/kinks/noncon (not all of them of course) engage with that material to work out their issues - a lot of the time it’s abuse victims writing it to elaborate on their abuse and take control of it and so on and usually... a lot of them aren’t even straight (honestly, almost everyone I know who ships th/ramsay ie noncon torture ship that I personally don’t like myself is... not straight, and a lot of them do ship to cope) and telling them you cannot handle your recovery with whichever system they see fit is... RUDE at best. which is why there’s antis who are like ‘shipping to cope is fine but JUST IF IT’S TO COPE’ which means that in order to be given the green light you have to out yourself and tell people you were abused and other antis who are like ‘SHIPPING TO COPE IS WRONG BECAUSE YOU JUST MAKE IT WORSE’ which is... not a thing that happens to everyone and actually every psychologist worth their salt in the world disagrees (or better: for some people it’s bad to do but for others it’s cathartic, and the latter shouldn’t be not able to do it because the former can’t blacklist or because kids on the internet decided that shipping to cope is bad);

so a lot of antis are actually crossing into the territory of wanting to police how people handle their own experience of abuse (honestly once someone told a friend who explained them from a professional pov the valid of problematic/violent art as a cathartic, healthy way to deal with you shit, and who told them that they were an abuse victim who dealt with it in different ways, to GO ON GOOGLE AND LOOK UP HOW IT WORKS and that person knew shit about it period just to say one) and telling people they can’t process their abuse in THAT way but just in THIS way, feeding into the idea that there’s a right way to process abuse and a wrong way to react to it which in turns becomes good victim vs bad victim;

(and then you wonder why they hate kylo ren... who’s a Bad Victim under the definition of the word but hey whatever)

and this is all thrown under the rug of ‘we need to police problematic attitudes in fandoms’ which is 100% bullshit because if you run into someone specifically problematic you should explain them on a one-on-one basis, not do the witch hunt, and you should never presume to police how people handle their own shit, never mind that 90% of the time the so-called problematic material is consumed by a small percentage of people and you can choose to like, not read it;

and by the way, 90% of the actually problematic fandom trends don’t get called out because it wouldn’t be progressive (I can talk for ages about how it’s really worrying that ppl headcanon characters as X following stereotypes that are actually hurtful for the category in question but since the hc = a minority then it’s always okay) but that’s an entire other problem;

tldr: the anti side, as much as they want to think they’re not doing it, are actively policing the content that other people put online based on supposed ‘moral’ standards which 90% of the time aren’t even true (a 16yo in a relationship with a 20yo is NOT pedophilia period) and even going as far as ‘I’ll press charges to the FBI because X wrote underage fic’ when according to the US law if it’s fictional characters it doesn’t count as such and it only does if real recognizable minors are involved (and in that case it shouldn’t be happening in the first place) and those people might be whoever, and for all they support feminism they also end up being incredibly misogynist.

or, just because I like to use my own experiences as an example: this year I had the horrid idea of replying to a post made obviously by anti people where I told them that straight women writing m/m ie what they’re attracted to of course have more in common with a guy into guys in that sense and not with a lesbian since they’re not attracted to women and that writing m/m wasn’t inherently fetishizing shit. since then I’ve had people:

informing me I MUST have internalized homophobia

assuming shit about my sex life that wasn’t even true including which positions I like in bed (because of course straight women only identify with the gay bottom so they’re capitalizing off that experience when some of us don’t)

assuming I was disgusted at the idea of writing lesbian sex (false, I wrote it when I was in the mood)

informing me that writing fanfic about canonical m/m characters wasn’t activism and I shouldn’t presume I was one for that (I never said I considered it such) but at the same time these people think reporting incest fic to ao3 is... activism, but nvm that

telling me that I was a sad old bitch who needed to find a husband and grow up (I MEAN NOT EVEN IN THE FIFTIES) (I’m 29 btw hardly old) because it was the only way my life could have had sense

informing me that of course I was that horrible since I’m italian and all italians beat their wives (NOT XENOPHOBIC AT ALL)

accusing me of writing torture porn with gay characters to get off (never wrote torture porn once in my life, not with gay characters nor any character)

(most ppl I know into torture porn aren’t straight btw)

telling me that I didn’t understand my own attraction to men

assuming that my parents must have thrown me out of the house at some point, that I had no friends and that I never got laid

and in another occasion I got sent fanart of a ship that I said upset me because I had the gall to tell people to leave the shippers alone but hey what do I know

and a bunch of other stuff I won’t bother you with but that to me sounds hella misogynist (I mean, GO BACK TO THE KITCHEN AND FIND A HUSBAND, srsly?). spoilers: I never write noncon, I’m into a few kinks but most are literally harmless, the wildest thing I’m into writing is... 100% consensual d/s sex, the most problematic thing I’m into is thor/loki and I hadn’t shipped it until I realized that... it was cathartic (ps: no, I don’t think irl incest is okay as a general thing) and for the rest I’m famous for... being the person who almost never kills people in fandom X°D I mean, I got that shit and I laughed about it, but what if they sent it to an abuse victim or someone who actually got kicked out of the house? who knows, but sure af they only seem to care about victims when it’s convenient to them and when the victims agree. *shrug* but the above is absolutely okay if you tell that to a straight cis woman who doesn’t particularly feel like writing f/f sex (which is ANOTHER plot point but never mind that I can’t possibly go into how tumblr has decided that f/f relationships without sex are the Thing Everyone Should Aspire To and everything else is a problem including lesbians having kinky sex). anyway, that was all antis. heck, a round of the shit above was started because an anti-ship blog found an oldass ask related to that wank, so.

tldr: the point is that we’re always talking about the same old dumb fandom war ie my ship is better than yours and my fave is better than yours, but now the arguments aren’t just about ships, are about which one is most moral or pure or non-problematic and if you dare being into anything else for your own reasons in your own life (I forgot friends who’ve been told they abuse their partners because they’re into kink, WHAT A DAY) when the *else* is fictional (ie doesn’t exist) and you don’t even do the thing irl or would want to but just want to explore it fictionally, then you are that problematic thing and so *you* are problematic and guess what, there’s a nice witch hunt starting and -

ops.

HOW SURPRISED I AM.

I mean, it’s 90% wanting to censor people and all of that time it’s useless that they dress it as ‘FIGHTING PEDOPHILES’ because thing is, now that everyone rolls their eyes at it because you think ‘right, real pedophiles or people who ship the wrong voltron ship,’ actual pedophiles have free reign and actually whenever I see a post to report a real one it has very little notes in comparison to OMG REY/LO IS PROBLEMATIC and stuff, and the one time I got linked one I checked because I didn’t trust tumblr and let me tell you I wish I didn’t. anti shipping or being anti kink is just... 90% wanting to be puritans without knowing that you’re a puritan and you’re still policing women’s sexualities and abuse victims’s reactions and you’re not helping anyone.

and you sound like those soccer moms from the 90s who thought playing tekken made their kids violent or that marilyn manson’s music caused the columbine shootings which is a thing that has been disproved since two weeks after it happened. and these people have no idea that media influences you to the point you let it and that fiction is not reality. *shrug* and that was my offer to this contribution, I know I’ll get roasted at this point but I’m beyond giving two fucks at this point. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[lj-writes]

A musical analysis of the sequel trilogy and the role of implicit bias

Note: Below is a series of asks I received from an anon who had sent me asks before about John Williams’s biases. I took the liberty of titling and formatting the asks into a post because the anon made a valuable and original analysis that deserves a post of its own. The text is lightly edited for typos and punctuation with notes  for relevant links, otherwise everything is in the anon’s own words. My response will be in reblog.

"Anti" Williams anon again. Last time, I promise. Sorry I got you dragged into this, I just hate how fandom will bend over backwards for a white person as long as they like them and they're not openly racist. Before Williams it was Rian, yes fandom used to love him, and before him Kathleen Kennedy. Before that it was George and so on. Can't criticize Chuck Wendig either for the same damn reason. It's why I left tumblr and fandom. That's why I'm arguing through your inbox.

I no longer have a tumblr but your blog is one of the few I still regularly check. Which was how I came across Williams anon. Both of them it seems. I don't blame anyone without musical training for not knowing what a theme is, I do on the other hand very much take offense at being called a liar by someone who's ignorant. I would also like to thank that other Anon for taking the time to explain what a theme is and how it works, I was too angry last night to think of it (blogger’s note: link to the theme anon).

To conservatory anon I have only this to say. If I were at all disposed to be friendly to you, I'd suggest you get you money back from that place because they've failed you on a basic level. Doesn't matter if you did modern instead of classic, themes are that basic a thing that you should have been taught. If you did classic it is doubly tragic because your professors completely failed to mention Bach who's The Most in this respect as his recurring theme in his works is 'bach.' (Blogger’s note: Wikipedia link explaining this, omg this is so wild)

Bach is truly ridiculous when it comes to theme and is a standard example. I also use him for my students when they say something can't or shouldn't be done because it is silly. When Bach could do this, then they can do what they want. Ah yes, my students. See anon, I didn't just train at a conservatory, I damn well teach at one if you want to make this into a pissing contest of skill. I know what a theme is.

I even use Williams' music in my lessons because he's done much that is brilliant.  The way he took the Imperial theme and made it part of not just Anakin's theme but the Love Theme in the PT (aka Across the Stars) is a wonderful bit of work. It is not that I don't like his works, but that he's shown a complete disregard for Finn musically. There are places in TLJ where Finn's theme had it existed should have been. Such as when Rey talks to Chewie and says 'tell him that'. Instead we have Rey's theme playing, because Finn doesn't have one

Or when Finn picks up the tracker. Then Rey's theme is playing, then the scene cuts to Rey sleeping and, knowing what Williams is capable off doing, that is where I'd expect Finn's theme to come in. Except nothing. Because again Finn does not have a theme. Finn's Confession is a wonderful piece of music, it is used again by Williams when SKB fires on the Hosnia system. The music used in Finn's trek across the desert is Iconic. Williams had every opportunity and reason to use either as themes for Finn. Both would make for great themes. The Confession piece is almost used as Finn's theme in TFA, but is not used consistently enough to be called that. Especially when you take into account that it isn't used at all in TLJ. I'd have accepted it as Finn's theme, bad as the execution in TFA would have been had Williams continued to use it for Finn in TLJ. He chose not to.

Apologies again, this got a lot longer than I had intended. I didn't mean to drag you back into it and if I still had a tumblr I'd take this argument on my own blog. But those two anons are why I don't fuck with fandom or with white people any more than I have to. It's impossible to have a meaningful conversation about racist biases or behavior without them falling apart or getting angry about it. I'll take bad white people who are open about their hate, over the good white people who are too busy being “good” to have any time left to stop being racist.

But I’ll let you get back to your regular Star Wars blogging and stop pulling you into any more musical discussions. Thanks for running an awesome blog and being one of the few voices that gives me hope for the future.

[space-station-nursery]

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About Babi┊・𓂃 I am a flip leaning regressor, and regress to about age 0-4. I am a sleepy, but bubby when regressed! Sometimes i go nonverbal, but i use a pacifier almost all the time. There is a ton of trauma surrounding my regression and it was very hard to regress. Now, with the help of bubby there is hope! I can only regress for small periods of time, and it needs to be assisted but its a great start and i hope that when we live together it'll boost my regression more! About Bubby┊・𓂃 I am Finns CG, and I love my babi bear! I do everything I can to make sure they feel safe and comfy here when regressing, as well as when they aren't Views on sitters┊・𓂃 We do not see sitters as something either of us would want to be apart of unless it was us sitting for/being sat by someone we know very well. My current sitter is @sleeplessjunkie Who generally just regresses with me when bubby is gone while we play games !!!! We will either talk a lot or not at all, and thats ok bc talk is hard! (we're also both autistic)

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✩⸜⸜ Mood/Stimboards ✩⸜⸜ Text post (tips, links, etc) hosted by babi or bubby! ✩⸜⸜ Wear or tear! (W.O.T) ✩⸜⸜ Worksheets ✩⸜⸜ Journal // QOTD hosted by bubby ! ✩⸜⸜ Pos quotes/affirmations

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┊Anons・𓂃

✨, (☀🐝), 🩷 Send us an ask to claim an emoji and show up here! <3

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[ariyadaivaris]

hey ive been trying to figure out how to do this for awhile and since some anons have asked im gonna try 2 articulate my feelings about f*nn and this is not going to be very polite and im sorry, its nothing personal and if you have a perspective on him that i dont its fine and i absolutely get you and im glad you can enjoy that! i just wanted to try and work through how the fuck i feel about him and this is ultimately a pretty personal post and not a Manifesto on How F*nn Is Bad (i dont think he is, particularly, ftr), so like, if youre not interested which I CANNOT FAULT YOU FOR AT ALL, just know that its cool to go on! this isn’t trying to start shit or anything, i genuinely dont want to, im just writing this for Me, basically. its alright. 

thanks thats the intro done okay take care i love u

what...does f*nn have even. he’s good in the ring but he’s surrounded by people who are better. he doesn’t have a character. what motivates him? what the fuck is he even fighting for? what is his personality, even? he absorbs the storylines of everyone around him in any feud he does too often for him to be as underdeveloped as he is and yet we are here and WHY???

i mean. apollo. let’s look at apollo! apollo is similarly kinda underdeveloped character-wise and most of who he is comes from who he is irl, and people don’t really play characters up irl! but like. it’s not glaring in the same way f*nn is, because

1) apollo got called up SUPER SUPER EARLY in nxt where f*nn had YEARS to develop a character and still holds a spot as longest reigning nxt champion, and

2) apollo plays a support role! he’s not a main event player (which is fucking criminal in and of itself but thats another issue) and him being underdeveloped+not as fleshed out lends itself pretty well to him supporting people however they need support at the moment. it’s not Ideal but it works well for who he is in the context of story stuff, which is not the case for f*nn

(also 3 secretly but apollo’s moveset is actually really varied and interesting which f*nn’s is...not but that’s a subjective thing obviously lol)

like. f*nn is just. such a nothing of a wrestler. i’m sorry but genuinely i don’t know or understand what there is there. he doesn’t have a character besides...vagueing people on twitter until he gets what he wants and yes okay i know that’s not an entirely true unbiased thing to say and im sorry but also i dont think im exactly Wrong

(also about vaguing people on twitter i know that has something to do with how bad his 2017 booking was, i WON’T deny that, and multiple people are booked badly in dubya at once and they all deserve more than that, but also f*nn’s the only person who really got any rage on his behalf as far as i’ve seen and it’s definitely affected my feelings about that)

the only thing he’s got going for him is a storied history in new japan, which itself feels lacking in the ring, and which honestly...gets...a lot more credit than deserved (and mostly SOLO credit at that)? he DID create the bullet club but his bullet club was essentially an entire stable of Foreigner Heels. cheap heat. any story he told (and i only know that there was apollo 55, im unaware of any other feuds, so bear that in mind) feels so...like...secondary to that of anyone he worked with. he could be a support role and get away with being the white bread he is but GOD FORBID that should happen, and so he just engulfs the story of anyone around him and does nothing and it’s just

it’s disappointing and its boring and exhausting to see him get shot after shot after shot doing the same thing over and over again because He Can. i have nothing much against him, i think he’s petty and petulant and very...self-absorbed, like, not in an entirely bad way but in the sense that he buys a lot of his own hype? and its...off-putting. i don’t know him personally though obviously, that’s just how i feel about him based on what ive seen, but like, as a person, its whatever. i just can’t stand him as a wrestler or a character. he’s generic and unmotivated and so. NOTHING and it’s exhausting to watch and try to make something meaningful and enjoyable out of. especially juxtaposed with the miz rn, and even with s*th, who i hate but who at least HAS a personality even if it’s a genuinely awful one

not even going into the fan reception of f*nn vs anyone else who’s more deserving and interesting than he is, lmao, i’m bitter as anything about how f*nn is treated compared to the cruiserweights because NATURALLY and OBVIOUSLY i’m biased, you all know this, i don’t deny it, i cant say this comparison is all the way fair when im so so so FUCKING cwuisewweights, but like, the reaction to f*nn getting Beachballed vs any of the 205 dudes getting Beachballed was so heartbreaking in how much More he gets just for the name he’s got

i don’t know. i don’t know. i just think he’s such a nothing of a character, surrounded by people (taguchi, joe, kevin, hideo, FUCK IT, even s*th or like, fucking, KENNY, or the young bucks, or ANYONE) who really care about the character and story they have against him, and instead of being relegated to a supporting role where he’d be like, Worth anything, he’s thrust into whatever title picture or main event there is because He’s F*nn B*lor and it’s so...so much less talked about or acknowledged and for the life of me i don’t understand why. i don’t know what it is im missing

again, i don’t have much against him as a person, i personally don’t like how he acts but he doesn’t seem Proublematique in any way beyond...the foreigner heel stuff which is inherently built in anti-japan sentiment EVEN THOUGH that is strictly kayfabe afaik (though he does fucken. support the special olympics and did some Cool Trendy Straitjacket Entrances as prince nevitt and that is a very VERY personal thing i have against him) i guess that’s what matters. i just. ugh. im over it

i appreciate him being vocally supportive of queer fans but i don’t owe him for that and i still think it sucks that he, a (as far as i know) straight white dude, is getting the platform to do that instead of people who are actually queer and out in the same company. sonya isn’t getting this chance, and more blatantly, darren never got that chance. despite having the block the hate movement, and despite the fact that his coming out is what got him a face turn while it was ENTIRELY and COMPLETELY unacknowledged in the canon universe of wwe proper. like, i guess that’s not f*nn’s fault but there’s a common trend of men of color being pushed down to boost him up and it’s not the best. i don’t think that’s all his fault but i don’t like it

again this isn’t like, denouncing Liking F*nn, its fine! this isnt decrying everything about him, i don’t wanna fight about this, and if you like finn, sincerely i’m glad you can find something there to like and i hope you’re having a good time with him! and to boot i really DON’T know much about anything he did before dubya, and so i could very well be wrong about everything. like, calling the gullet blub just a Cheap Heat Stable? that interpretation could be and probably is wrong. i know that, and i know that’s probably gonna affect how i feel abt him, but also god i do not care even a bit enough to learn and i would rather die than look at pr*nce nevitt/gullet blub anything

i dont know. i hope this didnt come off as.......TOO shitty, i know this is a stupid and mostly impenetrable post, its alright, this is just me trying to work through this for myself and i promise its not like...a huge thing. thats all! thats all. im sorry if i worded this weird at all and i know my perspective isnt the best or most informed on this, but also i am very very tired of f*nn and i don’t think that’s an unfair thing to say

[oadara]

Kinda disappointed to see you like reylo. I love jonerys and don’t see why they would be compared to reylo. Dany and Jon are both heroes. Kylo isn’t worth redeeming. Anakin at least has the tragic backstory as a compelling reason for how he became Vader. Reylo would be abusive, would they ever get together. He said she was nothing but not to him. That’s the most cliché textbook line abusers use. I have a psych degree, so it’s really upsetting to see people ship Rey with that whiny man-child.

Hello anon,

It’s interesting how people perceive fiction and how they judge others by how they perceive it. There are many things in the fandoms that I’ve participated in that I’m not crazy about, some I outright dislike but I rarely get involved in the anti-movement in fandom. In fact, most of the times I’ve gotten involved is because of aggressive fans who come to me first. I don’t get the idea behind participating in something you don’t enjoy. If I stop enjoying something, then I stop it all together. However, I’ll play, along because you’ve decided to come to me with your grievance. 

Your statement about having a degree in psychology is not only pompous but it’s also meaningless. Unless you also hold a degree in literature and have published and/or done research on the Psychology of Fictional Characters with focus on the Star Wars Universe, your opinion holds doesn’t hold much weight. One of my bachelors is in pre-Law, I can tell you right now that in no way qualifies me to give legal advice. Having a degree in anything doesn’t automatically make you an expert. It’s your perception that whatever relationship exists between Kylo Ren/Ben and Rey is abusive, and that’s fair, it’s your perception, but that does not make it a fact. 

Abuse comes in many different ways and we all perceive abuse differently given our experiences. What I may consider abuse given my experiences with abuse might not be considered abuse by someone else. My view of abuse is that at its core abuse is about creating and maintaining a dynamic in which there is an unbalance of power. The relationship between Kylo Ren’Ben and Rey is a tug and pull by both of them. 

In The Force Awakens Kylo Ren/Ben and Rey were enemies throughout the film and whatever happened between them should be judged on what happens between any two people who find themselves on opposite sides of a war. I don’t see people talking about KR/B actions towards Poe and Finn as abusive and I think the answer is clear, it’s all about gender. Most of the world’s cultures/societies are patriarchal and therefore there is an ingrained misogyny in our thinking that is held by both women and men alike and most people don’t even notice it. The default is the male perspective. I haven’t been part of this fandom very long but when I saw how people used this “talking point” of abuse to drive the narrative of this ship I found it very perplexing. But as I thought about it I realized that what was happening here is that Rey was being infantilized by a certain segment of the fandom. Because of her gender and stature, in comparison to KRB, she was automatically perceived as weaker in the mold of the damsel in distress. However, nothing in TFA hinted at any such “weakness” in fact if I remember correctly the movie ended with Rey defeated KR/B and leaving him with a cheek to chess scar as a reminder of her abilities and strength. By the end of TFA the dynamic between Rey and KR/B is that of two enemies with equal abilities, capable of fighting each other on an even playing field.

In The Last Jedi their dynamic evolves, they go from enemies to something akin to friends and by the end, they are something akin to frenemies. The interesting part is that when they have their first Force Bond, KR/B tries to use his Jedi powers to compel Rey to bring Luke to him, while Rey tries to shoot KR/B. From there KR/B becomes very agreeable, even though Rey’s scar him for life and just tried to shoot him he interested in engaging with her. On the other hand, Rey is still, understandably, really angry and calls him a monster to his face. But as their relationship progresses through their Force Bond they find a connection with one another, based on shared traumas and feelings of loneliness. It becomes an even dynamic between the two. The throne room scene, which many of those who call the relationship abusive use as an example, has KR/B  utter the “you are nothing” phrase to Rey. While KR/B words are harsh, somewhat elites, and extremely inarticulate, if you take the entire scene into consideration I wouldn’t perceive his behavior as abusive. He was speaking the truth, but he said it in a really shitty way, however, being shitty doesn’t make you abusive. It makes you insensitive and in KRB’s case also desperate because he realizes he’s, Rey’s not buying what he’s selling and Rey makes that extra clear by trying to get back her lightsaber. The movie ends with Rey looking over KR/B while he’s on his knees looking defeated.

In fact, for two straight films, Rey has ended the movie standing tall while KR/B has been either on the floor beaten and bleeding or on his knees in defeat. As I said earlier, their dynamic is one of push and pull, but if any of them holds any power over the other it’s clearly Rey. I think antis would have served themselves better by going with the “unhealthy relationship” talking point in order to drive their narrative against the relationship. It’s a hell of a lot less misogynistic and much more realistic and I think a lot more people would be open to discussing it on those terms. Personally, considering that Star Wars is a fairy tale and how they are trying to develop their relationship, I would consider Reylo to be complicated and complex, as all relationship between interesting heroes and villains are.

Speaking of which, I’ll give you the same answer as to why I ship Reylo as I’ve given countless times as why I shipped Jonerys, and that is because that’s what the story is telling me. My personal preferences as to whom I would like character A or B to end up with are irrelevant, I’m not the writer of the story nor do I have any influence over the writing of the story. Having watched the films that’s what I deduced was the course the story was taking and I’ve made a personal decision to embrace it. It’s not a usual dynamic for an endgame couple, given the extremes of their positions, and I think it would make a very interesting story, a complex and complicated story if you will. And as anyone who’s ever shipped Jonerys would tell you, complicated is our middle name. In addition given KR/B’s and Rey’s Force abilities and their positions within their camps, they are equals and they see themselves as equals. 

On a final note, I would suggest you read up on Ben Solo’s background, he didn’t have some idyllic childhood. Take into consideration that Snoke has been praying for him since he was a little boy. It doesn’t excuse his behavior but it certainly puts it into context. Whatever harshness Anakin suffered he didn’t have some in his head manipulating him since he was a little boy.  As for his redemption, I think he deserves to have the opportunity and sometimes it takes a few tries. I also think that’s where the story is headed.

TTFN

[southsidestory]

#across the stars (a wank wars story)

SUMMARY: Across the Stars dramatizes the story of the real life Skywalker clan, and fans of the show have built a legion of fractured followers across social media. Ben Solo goes by @mynameiskyloren, and his dealings with Rey, aka his rival fandom leader @jakkujunkrat, bring more than his true identity to light.

NOTES: This is the Star Wars social media fic that absolutely no one asked for. At best I can call this romantic crack with a dose of seriousness, and at worst the result of my brain weasels. Either way, it’s somewhat of an ode to tumblr and its crazy. If this isn’t a dumpster fire, please let me know! (PS my awesome husband helped me brainstorm for this, the evil genius.)

—

—

a long time ago in a fandom far, far away...

WANK

WARS

EPISODE VIII

ACROSS THE STARS

It is a period of civil war. Fans of popular historical holodrama ACROSS THE STARS squee over the Skywalker family legacy. The show’s three arcs, Republic, Rebellion, and Resistance, have earned critical acclaim and a legion of followers. In the wait between Seasons 7 and 8, WANK WARS fueled by boredom have gripped the fandom as they never have before.

The FIRST ORDER disparages AtS for its failure to dramatize the real Skywalkers' lives with historical accuracy after Season 3. @thesupremeleader, a BNF known only as Snoke, instigates drama whenever the fandom threatens to settle down.

But @mynameiskyloren, Snoke’s loyal devotee, is keeping his true identity hidden from the fandom. It’s only a matter of time before his dealings with @jakkujunkrat draw him away from the First Order, and he makes enemies of his former friends...

—

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15 days before the Season 8 premiere

jakkujunkrat

Look @mynameiskyloren I really don’t care about the historical accuracy of seasons 4-7. Most of us are here to have fun, to write fic and make art and shitpost about our favorite characters. You and your anti brigade need to get off your high tauntauns and face facts: Across the Stars prioritizes good storytelling over everything else. If you can’t accept that maybe you should move your ass along to another fandom instead of harassing the people who are here to celebrate something we love. I mean, this is a holodrama. Don’t you have anything better to do than fight over a piece of fiction???

#ats #wank wars #first order bs #fuck you very much

mynameiskyloren

You’re a hypocrite @jakkujunkrat. You’re arguing over a holodrama too, so you must not have anything better to do either.

And in case you haven’t noticed, this isn’t just fiction. These are real people’s lives being portrayed for mass consumption. Seasons 1-3 dealt in facts, and it still managed to draw all of us in, so don’t feed me that shit line that following real events doesn’t make for a good story.

Just be honest: you’re here to ship Han and Leia, and you don’t care what their marriage is like irl as long as you get their perfect love story in AtS. Maybe YOU should gtfo and find somewhere else to fangirl.

Or you know, just stick to scavenging, since that’s probably all you’re good at.

#ats #hanleia shippers are the worst #and jakkujunkrat is their queen #fuck you too sweetheart

fn-1337

Calm down, mynameisasshole. Dragging Rey’s real life into a fandom fight is a dick move. Especially since your privileged ass probably doesn’t know the first thing about the kind of hard work Rey does every day. So sit down and shut up.

#wank wars #first order bs #leave my friend alone

—

—

14 days before the Season 8 premiere

jakkujunkrat

unpopular opinion: Yav Korren is a good-looking man and a great actor, but he is not as hot as the real Ben Solo.

#ben solo #my husband #apologies to yav #but otherwise sorrynotsorry #all these candids of ben cropping up on my dash are fucking me up #han and leia made the best looking son #they have good genes

starfleet-ace

lmao someone is thirsty. that’s an unpopular opinion for a reason, rey. you know i love you, but we’re gonna have to agree to disagree on that one. back me up @fn-1337

#yav korren is almost as hot as my boyfriend

fn-1337

Sorry baby, no can do. I’m with Rey on this one.

#<3 #ily poe

jakkujunkrat

Ben Solo is boyfriend goals. Fight me.

#we appreciate ben solo in this house #don’t come on my lawn and disparage my man #ben solo

themaidofstarkiller

Sorry @jakkujunkrat, it’s gross enough to ship real people, but openly talking about a 19-year-old celebrity child like he’s a piece of meat takes it to the next level. You’re really something else. Am I right, or am I right @therealhux @mynameiskyloren

#RPF is the stuff of nightmares #creeping on a real kid is even worse

therealhux

100% correct, Phasma. I couldn’t agree more.

mynameiskyloren

I hate to ever support @jakkujunkrat, but I don’t think it’s fair to criticize her just for having a celebrity crush. Who the hell doesn’t?

And she’s right about Ben Solo. Definitely better looking than Yav Korren.

jakkujunkrat

@themaidofstarkiller I’m 18, which I have plastered across the top of my blog. You stalk me too much not to already know that, so you can stfu with pulling Ben Solo’s age like it’s a receipt.

and kylo… did you just defend me??

#is the sky falling?

mynameiskyloren

Don’t get used to it, junkrat.

—

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13 days before the Season 8 premiere

thesupremeleader

Just a reminder to the First Order that I have a zero tolerance policy for talking to Resistance fans.

I’m not going to call you out, but you know who you are.

#stay away from the resistance #if you want to keep your place on the right side of this fandom

therealhux

There’s no accounting for taste these days.

#not that I would expect better from the fan in question #he has so much trouble following the rules #like a toddler

mynameiskyloren

@therealhux if you have something to say to me, go ahead and say it.

#vagueposts are for cowards

therealhux

I just did. Or did you miss it with that goldfish attention span of yours?

#don’t see you calling thesupremeleader a coward

mynameiskyloren

Fuck you.

therealhux

So eloquent.

thesupremeleader

I don’t think you have room to further alienate your allies right now, Kylo. You’re on thin ice.

#get it together

mynameiskyloren

sorry @thesupremeleader

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

jakkujunkrat: finn, are you seeing this?

fn-1337: you mean mynameisasshole taking heat from the first order BNFs? yeah i’m seeing it, and it tastes like sweet sweet comeuppance.

jakkujunkrat: i know i shouldn’t, but i feel kind of bad for him. he’s getting roasted by snoke and hux just for being nice to me. do you think i should say something?

fn-1337: rey. are you kidding me? this is the guy who’s been giving you hell for *four* years. remember that time he left a nasty review on your post-canon fic? he called it what… “repetitive and trite”?

jakkujunkrat: okay. good point. he can fend for himself.

—

—

12 days before the Season 8 premiere

jakkujunkrat

This is the worst selfie in the world, but here you go. My sunburned face in all its glory.

#it me #forgive me for dirtying your dash with this

themaidofstarkiller

You should change your handle to jakkuleatherface. Or buy some sunscreen.

#she’s going to look 50 when she’s 30 #jakkujunkrat

therealhux

No wonder you’re single @jakkujunkrat

#I knew that someone that bitchy couldn’t be pretty

fn-1337

Don’t listen to a word these shitheads are saying, Rey. You’re beautiful.

#say one more word and i will drag you guys to hell and back

starfleet-ace

hux: i don’t think your pasty ginger ass gets to talk about anyone else’s looks

phasma: you’re as pretty on the outside as you are on the inside. which is to say ugly af

rey: you’re stunning, and they’re just jealous.

#you guys are really reaching here

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

fn-1337: Rey? You okay?

jakkujunkrat: yeah. i’m fine. just don’t really wanna talk right now.

fn-1337: all right, peanut. let me know if you need me. i’m here all night.

—

JAKKUJUNKRAT INBOX - ask me whatever as long as it’s nice

Anonymous

Hey. I’m really sorry to see all the hate you’re getting about your selfie. I hope this isn’t creepy coming from anon, but… I just want you to know that you’re really pretty, and those guys are being assholes. It’s got nothing to do with the way you look. They’d say the same thing to any Resistance fan.

jakkujunkrat

Thanks, nonny. I really needed to hear that.

And thank you @starfleet-ace and @fn-1337 for being awesome. You guys are the best friends a girl could ask for.

—

—

11 days before the Season 8 premiere

jakkujunkrat

I need to take a break from fandom for a little while. Real life is catching up with me, and the rig I’ve put together to even get a slow shitty connection to the holonet is breaking down. I need to put my scavenger hat on and do some maintenance.

See you guys in a few days.

#it’s just a brief hiatus #i promise i’m not ghosting #personal

fn-1337

Take care, peanut. <3

#best friend #see you soon rey

therealhux

Maybe with the queen gone the peasants will settle down.

bee-bee-ate

I have a finger to point at you @therealhux. Here is a clue: it is not the index or the pinky, or the ring or the thumb. It’s the one you put up when you don’t give a fuck. :D

#choke bitch

—

—

10 days before the Season 8 premiere

fn-1337

Look, all I’m saying is that old!Han and old!Leia’s actors absolutely killed it in Season 7, and I can’t wait to see what they do in Season 8.

#my dash is flooded with promo photos of my OTP #and all I want to do is write HanLeia #ONLY TEN MORE DAYS

mynameiskyloren

Newsflash: your OTP is separated irl. Kills the romance a little doesn’t it?

If Season 8 is full of the same used romantic tropes that 4-7 was full of idk if I’m even going to stick around for it.

#god i hate this fandom #fuck the resistance

fn-1337

I’ve never prayed harder for used romantic tropes in my life.

#mynameisasshole strikes again #and for the record i only ship HanLeia in AtS #not irl #wank wars #first order bs

—

—

9 days before the Season 8 premiere

JAKKUJUNKRAT INBOX - ask me anything mean and you’ll be blocked

Anonymous

Hi. I know you said you were going to be gone for a little while, but I was just wondering if there’s an ETA on when you might be back? The fandom is pretty boring without you, junkrat.

—

PRIVATE MESSAGING

jakkujunkrat: ...did you send me that anon?

mynameiskyloren: no. if i have something to say to you i’ll say it to your face

jakkujunkrat: come off it, kylo. nobody calls me just “junkrat” but you. i’m “rey” to everybody in the resistance, and first order idiots would never send me anything that nice.

jakkujunkrat: kylo? you there?

mynameiskyloren: i’m here

jakkujunkrat: well. you sent it, right?

mynameiskyloren: yeah i did. but i can explain

jakkujunkrat: explain being decent to me? yeah that’s gonna require a fucking thesis.

jakkujunkrat: you’ve done nothing but harass me since i got involved in this fandom

mynameiskyloren: give me a break, rey

jakkujunkrat: i’m not giving you anything

mynameiskyloren: fine then there’s no point in having this conversation

jakkujunkrat: just be honest. why’d you send me that ask?

mynameiskyloren: because you seem all right. i still disagree with you about pretty much everything AtS related but… i don’t know. i’m starting to think that’s not a good enough reason to give you hell

mynameiskyloren: i think if i’d met you irl we could have gotten along. you have to admit that we keep up with each other pretty well.

mynameiskyloren: rey? say something

jakkujunkrat: i have to go

—

—

8 days before the Season 8 premiere

therealhux

Attention, all First Order fans: one of our own has been fraternizing with the resistance. And what’s more, he’s been stringing us along from day one.

@mynameiskyloren has lied about his age, where he lives, and who he is. He also has a relationship with the Across the Stars cast and their real life counterparts, which he’s been hiding for seven years.

Kylo Ren is actually Ben Solo, and if you don’t believe me I’ve got receipts and all of his personal information below the cut.

[Read More]

#payback is a bitch #mynameisalie

themaidofstarkiller

Hux. Is this some kind of joke??

starfleet-ace

@therealhux did you seriously just doxx one of your own??? wow you’re a piece of shit

fn-1337

Why isn’t anyone commenting on the fact that one of the biggest antis in this fandom is BEN FUCKING SOLO?!! ACTUAL SON OF THE REAL HAN AND LEIA!

#holy shit #it explains a lot at least #oh god i’ve been shipping his parents’ characters

fn-1337

@jakkujunkrat REEEEYYYYYYY

bee-bee-ate

This is gross. Real life identities should be protected, not revealed. Shame on you @therealhux

a-new-rose

Wow. This is crazy. I just got to this fandom and it’s kind of exploding…

#this guy can’t really be ben solo tho right?

thesupremeleader

I don’t think it needs to be said, but if anyone hasn’t put it together yet: mynameiskyloren is no longer welcome in this fandom.

#that’s what you get for lying

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

jakkujunkrat: kylo? is it true?

sorry, this blog does not exist

—

—

7 days before the Season 8 premiere

mynameisbensolo

Hi everyone. This is the former mynameiskyloren here. There’s been a lot of stuff said about me in the last twenty-four hours, and I want to clear it up.

1) @therealhux did doxx me, which is low even for him.

2) I was talking to someone from the resistance, and the reason why is that I’m coming to see the damage that anti behavior can cause. I’ll make a more detailed post on that later, but in short, it’s going to involve a lot of apologizing.

3) In case you hadn’t guessed from my new handle: yes, I am Ben Solo.

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PRIVATE MESSAGES

starfleet-ace: REY where are you?? finn is flipping out and i can’t handle a fanboy meltdown this big on my own

starfleet-ace: Rey?

—

JAKKUJUNKRAT ACTIVITY FEED

mynameisbensolo is following you

—

JAKKUJUNKRAT INBOX - don’t ask me anything about ben solo

Anonymous

HOLY HELL!! mynameiskyloren is Ben Solo?!! pls tell me what you think about all of this Rey

Anonymous

ok i can see that u don’t want to be asked about ben solo, buuuut… you know we’re all dying to hear from you, right? i mean, you made that post about ben solo being hot, and then he turns out to be kylo!! come on Rey, throw us a bone here!

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PRIVATE MESSAGES

fn-1337: rey, i know this has gotta be pretty weird, but i’m starting to get worried about you. can you please come online long enough to let me know you’re all right?

jakkujunkrat: hey finn. i’m sorry for disappearing. this is all just… a lot.

fn-1337: yeah, i guess it would be.

fn-1337: can i ask you a question?

jakkujunkrat: always

fn-1337: are you the one he was talking to?

jakkujunkrat: yep. and he followed me this morning. idk what to do, finn.

fn-1337: you don’t have to do anything. you don’t owe him shit just because he decided to finally act like a human being. not after the way he’s treated all of us.

jakkujunkrat: i know that. really, i do.

fn-1337: then what’s the problem?

jakkujunkrat: the problem is that i think i was starting to like him. and now he’s… he’s ben solo. how am i supposed to talk to ben solo?

fn-1337: he’s just a person, peanut. an asshole, but a person.

—

—

6 days before the Season 8 premiere

jakkujunkrat

Guys. I know you’re interested in what I think about the Kylo Ren / Ben Solo thing, but I would really appreciate it if you’d stop sending me messages about it. I’ve turned off anon for now. All of you have a nice day.

#sorry #this is getting to be a bit much

therealhux

So are you guys running off into the sunset together yet?

#you don’t have anyone fooled

jakkujunkrat

It looks like you can’t read: I’m not talking about Ben.

#your name should be therealilliterate

themaidofstarkiller

Our resident pathological liar certainly has the money to fly to Jakku. You two fucking yet?

#jakkuleatherface

this post has been deleted

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

mynameisbensolo: Rey? I understand if you don’t want to talk to me, but if you can, let me know

—

—

5 days before the Season 8 premiere

fn-1337

It seems like this fandom has forgotten why we’re really here. Season 8 starts in FIVE DAYS, so can we please forget about doxxing drama and focus on the fun?

#damn #ats #ats season 8 #FIVE DAYS in case i didn’t say it loud enough for the people in the back

bee-bee-ate

I am with you @fn-1337!

a-new-rose

Am I the only one that thinks @bee-bee-ate is some kind of resistance bot?

—

starfleet-ace

in entirely unrelated news, is anyone else sick of Snoke’s stupidly detailed metas with a list of citations longer than his arm? we really don’t care how many degrees you have, man. it’s just a holodrama and you’re treating fandom like a history test you have to pass.

thesupremeleader

I think it’s safe to say that you wouldn’t know much about passing history tests @starfleet-ace.

—

FN-1337 INBOX - don’t bother with hate

bee-bee-ate

Are you going to roast Snoke for calling your boyfriend stupid?

fn-1337

You bet your ass I am.

#bring it you supreme idiot #i’m about to rip you apart

—

—

4 days before the Season 8 premiere

PRIVATE MESSAGES

jakkujunkrat: Ben? I’m here

mynameisbensolo: Damn. It’s really nice to be called by my real name lol

jakkujunkrat: lol I guess so

mynameisbenolo: Rey, I know it probably doesn’t mean much, but I’m sorry for everything I did to you. I hurt you and I bothered the hell out of you, and if I could take it back I would.

jakkujunkrat: It’s not okay, but I believe you. And I guess I can see now why you were so sensitive about the show. It must be weird to see yourself represented on screen like that.

mynameisbensolo: lol yeah. Especially when the popular opinion is that Yav Korren is a lot better looking than me :/

jakkujunkrat: Well. Not to me. But I guess you know that.

jakkujunkrat: this is so embarrassing.

mynameisbensolo: i saw that you deleted everything you had tagged with my name

jakkujunkrat: what, you went looking through it? That’s not narcissistic at all.

mynameisbensolo: better than tagging a stranger #my husband

jakkujunkrat: i don’t know why i thought i could talk to you. i don’t care who you are, you’re still awful

mynameisbensolo: wait i’m sorry rey don’t go

mynameisbensolo: please

jakkujunkrat: why shouldn’t i?

mynameisbensolo: i wasn’t trying to be mean

jakkujunkrat: and yet

mynameisbensolo: Stop it. Stop acting like you don’t feel this too.

jakkujunkrat: i don’t know what you’re talking about.

mynameisbensolo: Then I’ll be more explicit. I like you. I think you’re gorgeous and funny and smart, and I’ve wanted to kiss you for awhile. Long before I had any idea what you looked like.

mynameisbensolo: Still don’t know what I’m talking about, sweetheart?

jakkujunkrat: i can’t do this right now. i have to work if I want to eat. Literally.

mynameisbensolo: please don’t disappear again

—

—

3 days before the Season 8 premiere

fn-1337

If one more person sends @jakkujunkrat another message or hijacks her posts with questions about Ben Solo I will personally escort them to the nearest burn unit.

#not kidding #not even a little bit #leave my friend alone #sologate

starfleet-ace

get these thugs, finn.

bee-bee-ate

I support this action.

#protect our scavenger queen

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

jakkujunkrat: all right. let’s talk.

mynameisbensolo: I’m really glad you said that. Because… okay don’t be mad. Please.

jakkujunkrat: ...why would I be mad?

mynameisbensolo: I’m kind of. Here.

jakkujunkrat: what do you mean “here”?

mynameisbensolo: as in, on Jakku. I’m at Niima Outpost right now. I’ve tried getting directions from about ten different people but they either don’t speak Basic or have no idea where you live.

jakkujunkrat: you’ve got to be joking. are you joking?

mynameisbensolo: Depends on how angry you’ll be if I say “no”

jakkujunkrat: You have to leave. Right now.

mynameisbensolo: Oh. Okay.

mynameisbensolo: I’m really sorry, Rey I don’t know what I was thinking. I just knew you were here, and I wanted to have a chance to talk to you in person. But if you want me to go, I’ll go.

jakkujunkrat: then get out of here

—

mynameisbensolo

Please forgive me.

#do not reblog

—

—

2 days before the Season 8 premiere

therealhux

All I’m going to say is that you got what was coming to you.

#no i don’t regret doxxing him #stop asking

themaidofstarkiller

^^^

#lol #revenge is delicious

mitakahere

Do you think they’re broken up? Or were they ever together?

#forgive him rey!! #i don’t know what he did #but pls forgive him

fn-1337

Full offense @mitakahere but this is none of your business.

#leave my friend alone #i’m getting really tired of tagging that

themaidofstarkiller

Resistance morons aren’t welcome on this thread @fn-1337

Get the hell off Hux’s post.

#they’re just everywhere aren’t they? #but finn is the worst

bee-bee-ate

@themaidofstarkiller you have a bad dye job and a worse attitude. Perhaps you should consider a personality recalibration.

#i could help with that! :D

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

jakkujunkrat: Ben?

mynameisbensolo: yes?

jakkujunkrat: where are you?

mynameisbensolo: on Hosnian Prime. Why?

jakkujunkrat: please come back to Jakku

mynameisbensolo: really? You’re not messing with me, are you?

jakkujunkrat: really. I’ve never had a visitor before, and you surprised me by just showing up unannounced. which wasn’t all right by the way.

mynameisbensolo: I know. I won’t do it again.

jakkujunkrat: stop messaging me and get on a ship.

mynameisbensolo: as you wish, sweetheart.

—

—

1 day before the Season 8 premiere

starfleet-ace

okay i think that no matter where you stand in this fandom, we can all agree that tomorrow is gonna be awesome. we’ve been waiting a year for this! don’t let us down, Rian!

fn-1337

You can say that again, love.

#ONE DAY #ONE MORE DAY #THAT’S IT #23 HOURS AND 14 MINUTES TO BE EXACT

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

fn-1337: Rey??? Where r u? I need someone to celebrate with.

jakkujunkrat: sorry finn, i’m busy.

fn-1337: what are you doing that makes you too busy to cheer with me?!

jakkujunkrat: ...you wouldn’t believe me if i told you. catch you later!

fn-1337: oh come on, you can’t do this to me

fn-1337: REYYYY

—

—

Season 8 premiere of Across the Stars

—

fn-1337

DID YOU SEE THAT? @starfleet-ace?!

#i’m fucking dying #this is the most amazing day of my life #well except for when poe agreed to go out with me #STILL #it’s great #ats season 8 #ats

starfleet-ace

yeah i saw it! best season premiere ever.

#love you finn

therealhux

I can’t believe we can agree on something.

#this is a novel experience #ats season 8 #if they keep this up the show might actually become worthwhile again

bee-bee-ate

The astromech droid is my favorite character.

#so relatable

mitakahere

Where the hell is Rey?! @jakkujunkrat

#come back our scavenger queen #we miss you

—

MYNAMEISBENSOLO INBOX

Anonymous

Did it really happen like this? Please you have to tell us!!

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

mynameisbensolo: are you seeing this?

jakkujunkrat: of course :)

jakkujunkrat: watching Yav is pretty weird now that i’ve met you

mynameisbensolo: still think i’m the better looking one now that you’ve seen me up close?

jakkujunkrat: you know i do. at least i really hope so after last night.

mynameisbensolo: are you doing okay? you seemed upset afterward

jakkujunkrat: i’m fine

mynameisbensolo: Rey. I think we’re a little past lying to each other at this point. What’s wrong?

mynameisbensolo: was I bad?

jakkujunkrat: no! no. please don’t think that. it was wonderful, Ben, really. you were wonderful.

mynameisbensolo: so were you. and i really hope it wasn’t the last time i see you. i’d like to come back. Or bring you to Hosnian Prime with me.

jakkujunkrat: I can’t. I can’t leave. That’s why I was upset. My family left me here, and I’m waiting for them to come back for me and I can’t leave. I want to but I can’t and I probably sound really stupid right now but I’ve been waiting all my life and I don’t want it to be for nothing.

mynameisbensolo: it’s all right. You don’t have to go anywhere you’re not ready to go, sweetheart.

mynameisbensolo: And I can wait. If that’s something you want.

jakkujunkrat: It’s not easy. Waiting.

mynameisbensolo: That’s okay. You’re worth it.

—

—

[bellsblake-archive]

bellarke + 10

thanks for the request anon, and sorry it took so long to get around to!! (also this ended up being a little longer than intended. i kind of took the angst and ran with it, so there’s a lot of fic before the actual kiss, oops.)

bellarke + 10. ‘you nearly died’ kiss

Bellamy’s head is pounding, his mind screaming, a single phrase playing on an endless loop in his brain. Clarke is dying Clarke is dying Clarke is dying -

And Clarke is, indeed, dying.

As the death wave approached, Bellamy was stupid enough to believe that all of them would make it back to the lab safely, leaving them just enough time to launch the spaceship before a blanket of radiation destroyed them all.  “If this countdown hits zero and you’re not inside this lab,” Raven had told him before he left, “that’s it. Bad things happen.”

“Dead things, you mean,” he’d mumbled under his breath, and if Raven heard him, she didn’t acknowledge it.

Bellamy was supposed to go with Clarke to activate some kind of dish that would send a signal to launch the spaceship - he doesn’t know the exact mechanics of it, that’s Raven’s job - but then Murphy burst out of the woods, panting and out of breath. “It’s Monty,” he said. “He’s injured and he passed out from the pain a while back, and I can’t carry him here by myself.”

Clarke turned to Bellamy, looked at him with those vast blue eyes. “Go with Murphy,” she said. “Bring Monty back. I’ll activate the dish by myself.”

“And what if you can’t?”

“She can,” Raven said. “It’s a one-person job.”

Bellamy looks at Clarke again, and she confirms, “I can do it.”

So he let her. He let her go to the tower by herself. He trusted that she would return safely. Stupid.

By the time Bellamy returned to the lab, dragging Monty in between him and Murphy, there were less than two minutes left on the clock, and Clarke was the only one who still hadn’t arrived. Bellamy waited anxiously, gripping Raven’s arm and not taking his eyes off of the countdown.

“She’s not going to make it in time,” he said at the thirty-second mark, voice hollow as the seconds on the clock slipped away one by one. 

“She’ll make it in time,” Raven replied, her voice strong with conviction, just as they heard the doors open.

And she had made it in time - twelve seconds before Raven’s clock ticked down to zero - but she made it with a tear in her suit and legions on her skin and radiation in her system, and when Bellamy saw her crumpled on the floor of the lab he broke.

His heart stops when Finn carries her in.

“What happened?” Bellamy asks, panic already rising in his voice. 

“Grounder. Hit her on the head.”

“Put her here,” Bellamy commands as he kneels on the floor, and Finn obeys. “I need a bandage, a - a rag, anything.” He hates how his voice trembles, how he stumbles over his words, but something about seeing a force of nature as powerful as Clarke silent and wounded makes him a little unsteady.

“Hold her head,” he tells Murphy as he moves to Clarke’s side. “Clarke, can you hear me?” he asks her, stroking the side of her face. She doesn’t respond. “Clarke?”

Finally, her eyes flutter, and Bellamy breathes a sigh of relief. “You’re gonna be fine,” he reassures her. “You just need to rest.”

He brushes her hair out of her eyes, lets his fingers trail down her cheek again. She’s okay, so he’s okay.

Raven was the one who helped Clarke when Bellamy was immobile. With help from Murphy and Harper, she carried Clarke into the lab, stripped her of her suit, gave her anti-radiation medicine, and tried to cleanse her wounds as much as she could. Bellamy can do nothing except sit on the floor of the room with his back against the wall, head in his hands, she’s dying she’s dying she’s dying, until Raven tells him there’s nothing else she can do.

“What do you mean, there’s nothing else?” he asks, his voice already rising.

“Calm down, Blake. What I mean is that there’s nothing else for me to do. I gave her anti-radiation pills and medicine for the pain, but she was exposed to enough radiation to kill her. Either it will, or it won’t. She’s stable, but I’m not expecting her to wake up any time soon, if she does at all, and maybe it’s better that she doesn’t. The pain would be excruciating.”

“So she’s dying,” he says quietly, confirming his worst fears. “She’s just going to die in her sleep.”

“That’s not what I said,” Raven whispers, and only then does Bellamy notice that her eyes are shining with tears. “I said there’s a possibility - a large possibility - that she’s dying. And if she does, it’s probably better if she’s asleep for it.”

“So what am I supposed to do?” Bellamy asks, and even though he’s never told anyone that he loves Clarke, he knows Raven hears it. He doesn’t mind her knowing as much as he probably should.

After a moment of silence, she says, “Whatever you have to,” and leaves him alone with Clarke. 

So Bellamy pulls up a chair and sits beside Clarke’s cot, watching the rise and fall of her chest. Sometimes it’s steady, but sometimes it speeds up and her eyes flutter beneath her lids as she battles for consciousness. 

Whenever that happens, Bellamy leans over and strokes the side of her face, hoping to give her some comfort. At first he was afraid to touch her because her face and body are covered in boils, but now he strokes her hairline, her cheek, careful to keep his touch gentle so he doesn’t cause her more pain.

It’s stupid, he knows. He knows she can’t even feel it, but he does it anyway.

She looks so vulnerable, just lying there, so he takes her hand. It’s cold, and he tries to warm it up between his own.

He knows Clarke isn’t the type to let a little radiation take her out without a fight, but her body is already so weak. At this point, he’s not even sure if Clarke has much of a say in the matter. Either the radiation will kill her, or it won’t. Either she’ll slip away as she sleeps, or she won’t. But as he holds her tiny, cold hand in his own large, warm ones, some gut instinct within him just knows she’s going to die.

The thought twists something inside of him, and his throat suddenly feels choked up. But he doesn’t cry, not yet.

When he wakes up, she’s crying, and instantly he knows why.

He stands up and walks over to where she sits in front of that damned list, and he sees his name on it and not hers. And that’s unfathomable to him. He can’t survive if she doesn’t; he doesn’t want to survive if she doesn’t. She’s a part of him now, woven beneath his skin and through his veins. 

“If I’m on that list, you’re on that list,” he says.

She looks up at him, lost. “Bellamy, I can’t -”

“Write it down,” he says. When she shakes her head, tears pouring from her eyes, he repeats it. “Write it down, or I will.”

And that’s what he does. He takes the pen from her hand and he writes her name in the last spot, CLARKE GRIFFIN. Clarke looks like she wants to protest, but she lets him do it.

“So what now?” she asks after he caps the pen.

“Now we put it away and hope we never have to use it.”

“You still have hope?”

Yes. He still has hope for as long as she’s alive. Giving her a half-smirk, he says, “Are we still breathing?”

He still has hope. They’re still breathing.

But maybe she won’t be for much longer.

Bellamy starts to talk to her, a little deliriously. “Hey, Clarke,” he says quietly, still holding one of her hands between his. “This sucks, right?”

He waits, as if she’ll answer him. Obviously, she doesn’t. 

“I miss you,” he says, without really thinking about it, and then he feels like he has to explain what he means.

“I miss you,” he repeats. “I miss the real you. I hate seeing you like this, when you should be awake and bossing everyone around and helping Raven get that damn spaceship off the ground.” And then he starts wondering how long it will be until they have to leave, and what will happen to Clarke when they do. Will they take her with them, or will they leave her here since she’s dying anyway?

Bellamy grips her hand tighter, holds it tight against his chest. “I won’t let that happen,” he whispers, more to himself than to her. “I won’t let them leave you here.”

Clarke’s eyelids start to twitch again, and Bellamy lets her hand drop gently to her side and strokes her hair until she calms down. She starts to move a little, a weak, restless squirming, and he says, “Hey, Clarke, shhh. You don’t have to wake up yet, Clarke. It’s okay.” And almost as soon as he says it, she calms down.

“You know you saved us all, right?” Bellamy says, brushing tiny strands of hair away from Clarke’s forehead. “Whatever you did out there, whatever happened that did this to you, you saved our lives.”

She still doesn’t answer him - of course she doesn’t, he’s so fucking stupid for wishing she would - and he starts to get a little frustrated. “Clarke, I don’t want you to wake up, because I know that’s going to hurt. And if you have to die…”

He gasps, tears springing to his eyes at last, because it’s the first time he’s said it out loud.

Clarke is dying, and there is nothing he can do to stop it.

“If you have to die,” he finishes quietly, tears falling as he tries to blink them away, “I don’t want it to hurt. But there’s so much I wanted to tell you first.”

And there is. God, there is.

“Clarke…”

“We need each other, Bellamy,” Clarke says.

He looks at her, and he’s overwhelmed by how much he cares about her. He’s even more overwhelmed by how much she seems to care about him. It’s more than anyone else has ever cared about him - even his sister, especially his sister, who beat him bloody just a few days ago.

“What we’re doing now,” Clarke continues, “The only way we’re going to pull this off is together.”

Together. She has his back, and he has hers. Always.

There are a thousand things he could say, but he’s at a loss for words, so he just nods. And when she pulls him into a hug, he buries his nose in her hair and hopes she can hear him thanking her for not giving up on him yet.

“Clarke, I need you.” The words are loud, and they echo through the room.

But it’s not enough. It’s not enough.

“Clarke,” he tries again, “I love you.”

And he’s so fucking angry that she can’t hear him, that she’ll never hear him say the words he’s wanted to say to her for months. He stands up and kicks over his chair, knotting his fingers in his hair and turning away from her. Tears blur his vision and cotton blocks his throat and she shouldn’t be dying, not like this.

And that’s when she wakes up.

Clarke sits up fast, and the cot creaks beneath her, causing Bellamy to turn. Her chest heaves with the deep breaths she’s taking, and then she seems to choke on an intake of air and coughs up blood and bile.

“Shit,” Bellamy yells, rushing to her side and holding her steady, “Shit, shit, shit! Raven! Get in here!” 

And then Clarke lets out a guttural scream, and Raven rushes in and orders Bellamy to “get the fuck out” and she doesn’t have to tell him twice, because hearing Clarke scream like that shatters his heart. He passes Murphy in the hallway, who tells him that they’re leaving to space in an hour, and Bellamy nods without really hearing him. All he hears is the screaming.

She’s alive.

She’s alive, but she’s in excruciating pain. She’s alive, for now.

He finds a quiet room where he can be on his own, and he waits.

Almost thirty anxious minutes pass before Raven finds him again, her face wet with tears. He assumes the worst, but he doesn’t want to say it out loud.

He’s a bit surprised when Raven chokes out, “Bellamy, she’s going to be okay.”

“Wait, what?”

“She has radiation sickness. She threw up for twenty minutes, but I think it actually helped get some of that crap out of her system. Her boils have reduced significantly, and I gave her more medicine for the pain. She’s dehydrated and sick and she’s going to have a miserable few weeks, Bellamy, but as long as she keeps fighting she’s going to live.”

“She will keep fighting,” he says, and he knows it’s the truth. “Can I see her?”

Raven nods, and Bellamy runs.

He bursts into the main lab, where Clarke is sitting up on her cot drinking small sips of water. When she sees him, her eyes light up, and he hurries to her side and wraps her in his arms. “Clarke,” he breathes into her hair. “I thought you had died.”

“I feel like maybe I did,” she says weakly, and he gives a single huff of pathetic laughter as he pulls away to look at her. She already looks so much better - whatever Raven did truly worked its magic, and he’ll thank her for it later - and more importantly, she’s alive.

Tears fill Bellamy’s eyes again. “Clarke…” he says again, and he thinks he would be content just saying her name over and over for the rest of his life.

“I’m here, Bellamy,” she says, her lips curving into a wobbly smile. “I’m okay.”

“You have no idea how scared I was,” he replies, letting his forehead rest against hers. He hears her sharp intake of breath, and he pulls back. “I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”

“No. Well, everything hurts, but no. You’re fine.”

Carefully, gently, he lets his forehead fall against hers again. This time, she doesn’t startle. “I can’t believe it took you almost dying for me to do this,” he says quietly.

“Do what?” she asks, but there’s a sparkle in her eyes, and then he kisses her.

The kiss is soft and slow, and his lips move against hers like he already knows them. Her lips are a little dry from dehydration, but Bellamy finds that he doesn’t mind. Clarke tangles her fingers in the curls at the nape of his neck, presses her body against his, kisses him harder, and this is everything he’s ever wanted.

He pulls away long before he’d like to, because he knows she’s weak. She chases after his lips as he pulls away before leaning back. “Why’d you stop?” she asks, a little breathless, eyes shining.

“Because you’re still recovering and you need to rest before we take off.”

Clarke rolls her eyes at him and says, “You’re no fun.”

Bellamy laughs. “Clarke, I’m so glad you’re okay. And there’s a lot I have to tell you, but I think I’m going to save it for when you’re better.”

Clarke nods in agreement, already drifting off again, and Bellamy smiles.

They made it.

“Stop! The air could be toxic!”

“If the air is toxic, we’re all dead anyway.”