#I wish it was happy no its super sad it ruins you and hurts you and just shatters you to pieces to the point you cant ever recover from it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

luminnara · 3 years ago

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Omega Depression || Alpha!Kiribaku x Omega!fem!reader

Hi! Can I request an alpha!Kiribaku x omega!fem!reader where she is strong on the outside, but sensitive on the inside. Then, some asshole alpha comes and insults her saying that she isn't worthy of having alphas and other super mean stuff that makes her go to omega depression. After that, she confines and isolates herself in her room, not allowing her alphas to enter. Days pass, she misses school for like a week, and her alphas are tired of waiting, so they bust the door and find their omega deep in omega depression and starving herself, and they're super worried and try to help her get out of it, cause she could die if not. The rest can be little angst with a fluffy happy ending!

Yo I live for alpha kiribaku, not gonna lie

Warnings: angst, mental health stuff, depression, eating disorder/starvation stuff, abo

Requests are open!

You were always happy with your alphas. Bakugou and Kirishima were the loves of your life, you were sure of it. The three of you got along well, and there was nothing you enjoyed more than spending time with your boys. You kept up with them easily, never having trouble when it came to handling Katsuki’s temper or Eijiro’s enthusiasm. They loved protecting you, too, not that you ever really seemed to need it; you were tough as nails, as far as everyone was concerned.

You weren’t, though, not really.

“What a useless little omega.”

The words kept repeating in your head, over and over.

“Two alphas? Yeah, right. You don’t even deserve one, not with an uppity attitude like that.”

They kept echoing, no matter what you tried to do.

“What a stupid bitch. They should just leave your sorry ass. You aren’t worthy of anyone, much less alphas.”

You curled in on yourself. You felt sick to your stomach. How could someone say that about you? How could a shitty alpha go and ruin your mood, and your day, by saying something so awful?

“I am worthy!” You had argued. “And we’re happy together, so just fuck off.”

“Oh yeah? Then why haven’t they claimed you yet?” His lips had pulled over his teeth in a sick grin. “You know they’re just biding their time, waiting for something better to come along. You’re nothing to them.”

The little spat had been earlier that morning. It was rare that you ever went out alone; usually Eijirou or Katsuki or both of them were stuck to you like glue, but this had been one of those instances when you had absolutely insisted you would be fine. After all, you were just running a couple errands. You weren’t even going very far from campus. What’s the worst that could possibly happen?

Well...this, apparently.

You had rejected the advances of an alpha who had been eyeing you for quite some time. He was annoying and his scent always made you recoil, but you would never, not in a million years, have thought that he could hurt you so deeply.

Why were his words even bothering you so much? You knew your boys liked you. They made sure to constantly cover you in their scents, they happily gave up their shirts for you to tuck into your little bed nest, they held your hands and gave you sweet little kisses...

And yet, he was right. They hadn’t claimed you yet. There were no big bite marks on your neck to show the world that you were taken. Why hadn’t it happened yet? You always thought that maybe they were just nervous, and they wanted to wait for the right time. Maybe they wanted to wait until school was over and they were better established as heroes.

Or maybe they were just playing with you, maybe you were nothing more than their favorite toy for the time being. What if they got tired of you? What if they really were planning on kicking you to the curb? Without a bond mark, nobody would even blink if they cast you aside. It would just be a normal break up, nothing for anybody else to even care about or get involved in.

But your heart was already aching at the thought of it.

You huddled up in your nest, ugly sobs wracking your body as you clutched one of Katsuki’s hoodies to your chest. An undershirt of Eijirou’s was nearby, a few plushies that they had given you tucked in amongst the blankets and pillows. The scents of burnt sugar and cinnamon wafted around you, and as comforting as they usually were, they weren’t helping you now. Nothing was.

You heard your phone vibrate, but you didn’t reach for it. You didn’t care. You were too wrapped up in your own thoughts, absolutely trapped in your head now. You were plagued by those same words as they kept repeating, telling you over and over that you were worthless, useless, nothing.

When you finally managed to glance at your phone, you had missed texts from both your alphas. You replied to them with a couple of half hearted “yeah, I’m fine” -s, then finally slithered out of bed to make sure your door was locked. You didn’t want to face them when they came to bother you.

If they came.

You spent the entire day like that. When you were out of tears to cry, you just grew numb. It was the worst you had ever felt, and while some part of you knew, deep down, that you needed your alphas to come help you, you couldn’t stand the idea of them seeing you like this. How had you managed to grow so afraid? You usually told them everything, but now...now you abhorred the thought.

“Oi!” Katsuki’s rough voice came from the other side of your door, his scent wafting in. “Open up!”

You didn’t answer, curling in on yourself even further instead.

“Omega!” he called angrily. “Stop ignoring me, dammit!”

“Go away!” you managed to squeeze out, your voice sounding weak and strangled.

He was silent for a moment, his scent changing. It grew more burnt-smelling as his anger mounted, and as it reached your nose, you felt panic and annoyance spiking in your chest.

“Omega,” he growled, voice low. You heard the doorknob jiggling as he tried to get in, but you had locked the deadbolt, and unless he unleashed his quirk right there in the dorms, there was no way he was entering your room.

“I said go away!” you yelled.

On the other side of the door, Katsuki was fuming. The beginning sparks of little explosions were popping around his hands, and if Eijirou wasn’t there to hold his arms down at his sides, there was a good chance he would have done some real damage to the hallway.

“Katsuki, c’mon.” the larger alpha said. “Let’s just leave her alone for a little.”

“Something’s wrong,” Katsuki pulled back as his partner started trying to drag him away. “She stinks.”

“Yeah, she definitely doesn’t smell happy,” Kirishima paused, frowning. “But...we need to give her the space, if she wants it.”

“Fuck that,” his partner spat.

“Katsuki....” Eijirou sighed.

Bakugou’s nostrils flared angrily for a moment, red eyes wild as Kirishima grabbed his arm once again. Someone was trying to drag him away from his omega, from his perfect little mate, and if it had been anyone other than Eijirou, he would have done far worse than simply dig his heels into the floor and growl in protest. Kirishima was right, though; if their omega wanted alone time, they couldn’t just barge in without permission. As much as it hurt both boys, as desperate as they were to get to you and make you feel better, they weren’t total animals. They respected you, and prided themselves on being two big, capable alphas who listened to their omega.

They returned to their own rooms, expecting to at least hear from you within an hour or two.

Hours turned to days.

You texted them a few times, listless, half-assed messages that did little to reassure them. You would send a pathetic I’m fine or a It’s okay here and there, only after they had both blown your phone up for a few hours. It was the only reason they hadn’t tried to tear your door off its hinges; they knew you were alive, at least. But by the third day, Katsuki was beside himself, and even Eijirou was getting upset enough to consider using his quirk to get to you.

You wished that he would. You didn’t want to face them, but at the same time, the fact that they weren’t tearing the building apart to reach you was making you even sadder. Your sad scent was starting to leech out into the rest of the dorms, and by the end of the fifth day, nobody could stop your alphas.

“Oy!” Bakugou snarled, his fist thudding against your door. “Open up, omega!”

You didn’t answer, too weak and listless to bother.

“Babe?” Kirishima asked, his voice strained with the effort of not yelling in panic.

“We know you’re in there,” Katsuki growled. “Quit avoiding us!”

Still, you didn’t answer.

Then, you could hear some shuffling, and the door was being torn off its hinges by Kirishima. Bakugou stormed in as soon as the path was clear, his red eyes blazing with anger, his hands balled into fists.

“You’d better show your face right fuckin’ now, or I swear I—“

He fell silent at the sight of you. His eyes widened, his nostrils flaring. Your scent was so strong and so incredibly miserable that a wave of nausea passed through him. He hadn’t expected that it would be so pungent in your room, and as he covered his mouth and nose with his hand, he rushed towards you.

“Baby,” he cooed, vaguely aware of Kirishima behind him, “what the fuck is going on?”

You tried to bury yourself in your nest, trying to burrow away from the world, but a big hand caught you around the middle and pulled you back out. Eijirou manhandled you easily, his eyes wide with concern as he sat on the floor and placed you in his lap.

“You haven’t been eating,” he observed, looking at your tired eyes. “Or sleeping.”

Katsuki was beside himself with worry. He was immediately sitting in front of his boyfriend, caging you in between them as he began looking you over. “What the hell is goin’ on?”

You didn’t want to tell them. Your throat was sore from crying, and you felt stupid for being so upset. So, you did the only logical thing you could think of and buried your face in Kirishima’s broad chest, clinging to his shirt weakly.

“Omega, please,” the big redhead pleaded, leaning his head down to scent you. “Tell us.”

You shook your head.

“We know Somethin’ is wrong, so spit it out!” Katsuki barked.

His voice was harsh, but you felt a warm, gentle hand on your back that could only be his. The familiar touch made you sigh, and after a shuddery breath, the dam finally broke.

“Th-there was an alpha,” you whimpered, voice muffled by Kirishima.

“What the fuck did they do?” Katsuki growled, his voice deep and savage. It sent a chill down your spine and you whined, clinging to Eijirou for dear life.

“Cut it out,” Kirishima snapped, snorting at his boyfriend angrily. “You’re making it worse.”

“I just wanna know what happened!” He grumbled, his hand pressing into your back.

You hiccuped as a little sob wracked your body. “A-an alpha I rejected, h-he told me…he told me that I wasn’t good enough for you.”

The low rumble in Kirishima’s chest was like nothing you had ever felt before. It was threatening and powerful, putting Bakugou’s growl a moment ago to shame. His arms tightened around you, the scent gland on his neck slipping over your hair as he tried to cover up your unhappy omega stink.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him.” Kirishima snarled, uncharacteristically angry.

“Hey.” Bakugou slipped a hand around your waist, prying you away from the other alpha slightly. “Look at me.”

You faced him with teary eyes, and when you tried to shy away, he took your chin in his fingers.

“We fuckin’ love you. Okay? I don’t say it much. Maybe I should say it more. But it’s true, ‘n no stupid, two-bit, shitty-ass alpha knows anything about the three of us.”

He leaned forward, pushing you back up against Kirishima with his head resting on your shoulder. You finally sighed, surrounded by the scents of your alphas, allowing yourself to relax as the dam broke and your crying started all over again. This time, though, it was freeing, and as your alphas rocked back and forth with you, you felt the dread and the anxiety slowly leaving your stomach.

“Better?” Eijirou asked after a while.

“A little.” you said, voice muffled by his tear-stained shirt.

“Good.” Katsuki said gruffly, pulling you up to stand. “Let’s go get some food in you. Point that shitbag out if you see him...I wanna have a few words.”

#kiribaku #kiribaku x reader #Alpha!Kirishima #alpha!kirishima x reader #bakugou x reader #alpha!bakugou #alpha!bakugou x omega!reader #kirishima x reader #bnha #bnha imagines #abo #omegaverse

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hotxcheeto · 3 years ago

Note

Lis characters when they see their crush with someone else

━ 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 - Chloe, Rachel, Victoria, Nathan, Kate

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Mentions of sadness, anger, cursing, being with someone else, angsty, mention of smoking and getting high

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - Angst homies

𝐂𝐡𝐥𝐨𝐞 - Doesn't quite know what to do. She gets mad more than anything, cursing at herself. Jealously is literally her only emotion when she sees you with someone else. She gets really mad, probably kicks the bumper of her truck.

She gets really upset and goes home. She'll smoke and listen to music at the highest volume. Probably also kicks a few things around. Even if its a misunderstanding, she's a jealous person. Her mind goes to the worse places possible, first.

𝐑𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐥 - Get's emotional. A range of sadness and anger. She gets super pissed and probably has to find a bathroom to freak out in. She tries convincing herself that it's a misunderstanding, and that you and that person aren't together.

And if you are, she tries playing it off in front of you. But it hurts her a ton, she'll probably go home and lay around in her room. Thinking about the both of you. Definitely is sarcastic towards the person. She can't stand them. But she loves the smile on your face when you see them, she just wishes it was her.

𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚 - Talks loads of crap about them. To you and to others, she does not want you with that person. She'd probably try bringing up bad things about them to get you to not like them. But that's at first, if she sees you really happy with that person. She'll let you be happy, but she'll still hate them.

Definitely complains to Nathan about it. Like, ranting away to him while he's high as shit nodding. And she'd totally be snarky to whoever you were with. Together or not, she doesn't like that person.

𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐡��𝐧 - Hates that person. I mean, HATES. Like he's already a dick to most people that aren't you or Victoria. But he's especially rude to that person, probably nearly causes a few fights with them. He doesn't care if your dating them or not, he thinks your too close for comfort.

And your just like ? cause you two aren't together. Which probably gives away his feelings for you. But it hurts him, seeing you with someone else. He probably gets really upset talking to Victoria about it.

𝐊𝐚𝐭𝐞 - Unlike everyone else on this list, Kate gets more sad then angry a throughout it. She'd probably write about it in her diary, questioning if you were with that person or not. If you were, she'd be totally happy for you, seeing you so happy. But it'd hurt her a ton.

She'd be nice to you and the person of course. Kate doesn't want to ruin anything for you or hurt you in anyway. She'd watch you be happy from afar but it would hurt her a ton. But as long as you were happy.

A/n: This made me sad

#chloe price x reader #chloe x reader #chloe price #rachel amber x reader #rachel amber #victoria chase x reader #victoria chase #nathan prescott x reader #nathan prescott #kate marsh x reader #kate marsh #life is strange #life is strange x reader #lis #dontnod #nevy writes

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cryonme · 3 years ago

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𝐈 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐕

PART FIVE- “Just Because They’re Not Here Doesn’t Mean They Stopped Being Wonderful.”

part one here

part two here

part three here

part four here

short series- jj maybank x kook!reader

word count- 4.3k

tw- guns, knives, mentions of weed, stabbing, swearing, mentions of death, fluff 😊, angst 👿, mentions of murder, fighting, drinking, mentions of stitches and hospitals. lmk if I missed anything

a/n- don’t u all love how I said this was gonna be a “short” series and now we’re at 19.2k words total and five parts? and not even done yet? lol. anyway, this chapter is a fucking rollercoaster of emotions and shit gets really real really fast so hold onto your hats, grab some popcorn, and happy reading!

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

“Wait, what the fuck?”

Your friends all stared at you with wide eyes, mouths agape. JJ’s grip tightened on your thigh, you winced a little but he didn’t let up, which you were glad he didn’t.

“Wait, your mom is dead?” John B asked, earning a smack on the back of the head from Sarah.

“You had a sister?!” Pope explained, confusion plastered on his face. “I thought that was just a ru- OW!” A smack from Kiara.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Yeah.”

“You think you know a person then all of the sudden she has a dead mom and sister who were killed by her step brother that you didn’t know about.” John B said, a hint of humor in his voice.

“This isn’t funny, John B.” Sarah scolded.

“It’s fine, Sarah.” You assured your friend. “Look, I know I’m a shit friend for not telling you guys things about my life. Tyler, the abortion, my mom and sister. And I’ll work on getting better at it but all of that isn’t important right now, okay?” You looked between John B and Pope, waiting expectedly before they both nodded and backed off.

“What makes you say that, (Y/n)?” Kie asked you, fully turning her attention to you.

“Well when- um, when Tyler showed up at my house that day,” You swallowed your fear, sitting up straight and taking a deep breath. “When Tyler showed up at my house that day, he said ‘I did everything I could to get my mom to marry your dad. My mom doesn’t know, but what she doesn’t know won’t kill her, and now you’re ruining everything with your fat fucking mouth.’”

The room was silent. Nobody really knew what to make out of all of this, all this time you had come off so unbothered, like your life was picture perfect and there was never a dark cloud in your sky. Everything that had happened the past couple of weeks came out of nowhere for the group of friends, especially JJ, John B and Pope, who didn’t even know you had a step brother. But when the three thought back on it, they never really asked.

After about a minute of everyone sitting in shock, Sarah spoke up, “Well, we need to tell your dad and Christine, right?’

You shook your head, “Not until I have enough proof. The entire island’s eyes are on me right now and if I’m wrong I make a fool of myself. I know this is gonna sound really stupid but, I need to find Tyler.”

“No.” JJ protested, his voice sharp.

“You’re right, (Y/n). That does sound stupid.” Pope agreed.

“Super stupid.” John B chimed in.

“I love you, but I have never heard more stupid words leave your mouth.” Kiara said.

“Guys, maybe hear her out.” Sarah said.

Kie whipped her head to the side, looking at the blonde girl in bewilderment. “Seriously? I’m not listening to you when all you seem to do is put (Y/n) in more danger.”

“I didn’t mean to! I didn’t know what the fuck to do!” “You tell someone, dumbass!”

“Jesus, you two! Shut the fuck up!” You interjected, standing up and stomping your foot, ignoring the shooting pain going up your leg.

“I came here because I need help, not to sit here and be judged and have you two fight with each other. Kie, lay off. I begged Sarah not to say anything until I was ready, and promised not to go home until I said something, okay? And you two.” You gestured to John B and Pope, “Telling me I’m stupid for something that I haven’t even explained yet is a little premature. Can we all fucking focus?” You had your time to cry and allow yourself to be broken, but now it was time to get shit done.

Kie shrunk in her seat, muttering a half assed “Sorry” under her breath and crossing her arms. John B and Pope nodded, both boys looking down at their shoes. You sat back down and JJ’s hand returned to its rightful spot on your thigh.

“Now, just, listen to me for a second. We,” You put the emphasis on that word so everyone would be a little bit more open to the idea, “Need to find Tyler so we can somehow record a confession from him. I’ll rile him up, and once I get the confession we get the fuck out. Got it?”

“How the fuck are you gonna find him? Even the Sheriff's department can’t find him.” Sarah said.

“Right,” You responded, “First thing to consider, the police are incompetent, especially here. They probably looked at my house and his job before giving up.”

JJ chuckled, shaking his head as he listened to you talk in awe.

“Second thing to consider, I have his number. I can ask him to meet up and talk it out.”

“The more you talk, the more I really don’t like this plan.” JJ muttered, raking his fingers through his hair.

“The more you talk, the more I wanna kick your teeth in.” You smiled sweetly, “This is the only way.” You tried pulling a joke, but JJ’s face remained concerned, so your face fell and you leaned into him. “I’ll be okay, JJ. I’ve been dealing with Tyler for years, okay?”

JJ nodded, taking a deep breath before pulling away from you.

“So what can we do?”

“Wherever I meet up with Tyler, I need you all to be on standby. Someone on lookout, someone hiding near me just in case things go south, and someone waiting in the vam.”

Everyone agreed in unison, nodding their heads. “Anything we can to get this asshole put away.” John B said, giving you an encouraging smile.

After going over a few details, and finally sending the text to Tyler that you wanted to meet up, the pogues dispersed around the chateau. Pope was talking Sarah’s ear off about the latest book he had just finished while she politely listened and even threw in a couple of her own thoughts, John B and Kie playfully jabbed long sticks at each other, and JJ stood on the porch, watching you swing by yourself on the hammock, lost in thought. He was trying to decide if he should approach you, or give you space. Just then you turned your head and made eye contact with the blond boy, a soft smile on your face, your signature red lipstick back where it belongs.

Fuck space.

He bounded down the stairs and made his way over to you on the hammock, plopping down next to you. Neither of you said anything for a couple minutes, there wasn’t much to say.

“I was 14.” You said, breaking the silence, causing JJ’s head to turn towards you. He stayed silent as you continued.

“Hit and run.” You laughed bitterly. “My little sister was 12. We were finally getting to the point where we didn’t fight everyday, we were becoming friends. She had just started asking me for advice about boys and was always asking to have sleepovers.” You smiled, remembering your little sister fondly. “It still hurts. It’ll always hurt, I think. But, I’ve learned I can’t change what happened, and I try to be thankful for the time I had with her. I would say she probably wouldn’t want me to be sad, but that’s not true, she loved attention.” JJ laughed with you this time.

“What’s her name?” JJ asked.

“Layla.” You responded, her name feeling weird on your tongue. You hadn’t said her name in years. “And my mom, gosh there was no one like my mom.” JJ wasn’t asking, but you were telling.

“She just always understood, you know? She’d let me stay home if my mind was taking over, she continued to buy the ice cream I told her was my favorite when I was 7, I didn’t have the heart to tell her I didn’t like it anymore.” You frowned, staring at your hands. “Christine is great, I love her with everything in me. But sometimes I wish she was in my life under different circumstances.”

JJ nodded in understanding, taking his hand in yours and pressing a lingering kiss to it. “They sound wonderful.”

“They are- were.”

JJ shook his head, “Just because they’re not here doesn’t mean they stopped being wonderful.”

You yanked JJ’s hand so his arm wrapped around your shoulder and you leaned into him, earning a sweet kiss on the top of your head.

“You’re sweet, princess.” You teased, using the nickname that you would use when the two of you fought.

“Tell anyone and you’re dead meat, baby.”

You laughed, resting your head on his chest. “What changed your mind about me?” You asked, biting your bottom lip.

JJ thought for a moment, mulling over his words to avoid saying the wrong thing.

“I never changed my mind.”

Your heart dropped as you began to pull away, feeling embarrassed.

“Uh uh uh, let me finish.” JJ pulled you back against him and you huffed. “I never changed my mind because I’ve felt this way about you all along. I’ve never had such strong feelings for a person before, so when you came along I mistook all of the signs as hatred. My mom left and my dad…” JJ trailed off for a moment, trying to put together his words in the least concerning way possible, “My dad takes his anger out on me. And I just never really learned how to receive love, or how to understand it.”

Your heart sank at JJ’s words. All those times he’d show up to the Chateau with bruises and scrapes, telling everyone to fuck off instead of boasting about how he “totally kicked that kooks ass”, it was his dad.

“JJ-”

“Mmm, let’s not do that now, yeah? Just know I’ve adored you this whole time, I was just too stupid to see it.”

“When did you change your mind about me?” JJ asked.

You pondered for a moment, thinking back on when you first started thinking of JJ differently.

“That night at the Boneyard, when Tyler showed up. I was dancing with Pope and all I could think was, ‘I need JJ’, and then there you were. I didn’t want you to ever leave my side again. When you took me back to the Chateau and sat me down on the couch, I was confused because I felt so safe and loved, more than I ever have. It was so out of the blue. Hours before we had just been screaming at each other and then I never wanted you to let me go.”

“You’re making this really hard, Red.” JJ huffed, running a hand over his face.

“What?” You asked craning your neck to look up at him.

“Not kissing you.”

You sat up from your position on his chest, turning your body so you were facing each other, your legs hanging off one side of the hammock and his off the other.

“Then kiss me.”

“(Y/n)...”

“What, scared?”

JJ didn’t say anything, he just looked at you. You had that striking red grin, and your eyes held that glint of mischief and joy.

“You were just inconsolable like, an hour ago.”

“But I’m not now.”

“I-”

“Please, JJ.” You pouted, your eyes big and your frown deep as you slowly reached for him.

And he couldn’t say no to that face.

He slowly brought his hand up to cradle the side of your neck, his thumb resting on your cheek as his face slowly leaned into yours, his hand softly pulling you closer by the neck. You brought one hand up to the back of his neck, burying your fingers in his hair as his other hand found its place on your waist. You stared at each other for a moment, noses barely touching. Your heart was beating so fast you felt like it was about to crawl out of your throat, the anticipation was driving you crazy but you were also cherishing every second of it, just being so close to him, knowing what’s about to happen.

His lips just barely brushed over yours and your entire body erupted in butterflies, goosebumps dancing all up and down your arms and legs.

“You fucker.” You teased and JJ giggled before fully planting his lips on yours. You felt like you had been on fire and had been dumped into an ice bath. The relief that covered your entire body and soul was something you had never felt before. You had kissed plenty of people in your lifetime, and nothing had ever compared to the feeling you had kissing JJ.

You pulled away for a moment to catch your breath, but JJ whined and pulled you back into him, bringing you to sit on his lap as he continued to kiss you. You both giggled and broke apart when you nearly toppled out of the hammock, JJ’s hands immediately steadying you. He looked up at you while stroking your cheekbone with his thumb before planting soft kisses to your arm, trailing his lips up to your shoulder, neck, cheek and finally one last sweet kiss on your lips.

“Well it’s about goddamn time!” John B yelled as the rest of the pogues whooped and hollered, jumping up and down. Both of you flipped off your friends and JJ kissed you once more, your middle fingers still in the air.

“You’re fucking incredible.” JJ muttered once you broke yet another kiss.

“I know.” You smirked.

Once JJ helped you off the hammock, with a lot of wincing and you telling him his kissing made your bruised lip hurt, you made your way back over to your friends, an unmistakable feeling of joy filling everyone’s hearts.

John B handed you and JJ a beer, which you had to decline because of your concussion, much to your dismay, but you gladly took the joint that Kie offered you, blowing out the smoke into JJ’s mouth before taking the hit for yourself. The sun started to set on the Chateau, so Pope and John B set up a fire and Kie brought out her ukulele, her and Sarah singing in harmony to Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole. Your heart swelled in your chest listening to JJ quietly singing along with his arm slung around your shoulders, his face was tinted the slightest shade of pink from being in the sun all day, making his eyes look impossibly more blue. You knew tomorrow brought troubles and anxiety, but you pushed them to the back of your mind, enjoying this beautiful moment with your friends. You rested your head on JJ’s shoulder, your hand coming up to hold his that was around your shoulder, placing a gentle kiss on his hand. JJ blushed and squeezed you just a little bit tighter.

“(Y/n), you staying the night?”

You smiled and nodded, your eyes a bit droopy from the weed. You had texted Christine already, telling her you were staying the night and assuring her that everyone was staying the night and you were safe.

“Yes!” Sarah exclaimed, getting up from her spot next to John B. “More beer?” Everyone apart from you nodded as Sarah made her way inside the house to grab more cold beer.

“Aw, well if it isn’t the goonies.”

That voice.

Tyler approached the Chateau, Topper, Kelce and Rafe hot on his heels.

Everyone stood up immediately, JJ pushed you behind him without a second thought.

“Heard my baby sister wanted to meet up tonight, thought I’d come to her, spare her the trouble.” Tyler said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

You were appreciative of JJ’s protectiveness over you, but this was your fight. “I know what you did, Tyler.” You said, trying your hardest to hide the shakiness in your voice as you pushed JJ out of your way, taking a couple steps forward.

“There she is!” Tyler exclaimed, gesturing his arms to you. “You don’t know shit, dumbass.”

“You killed my mom and sister.”

“Me?” Tyler raised a hand to his chest in shock and turned to his friends, who all shook their heads like you were crazy. “I would never do such a thing.” “You said-”

“Did you hit your head too hard the other day? Sounds to me like you’re making things up.”

He was trying to make you feel crazy, and you weren’t putting up with it.

“What was your plan, huh?” You asked, standing your ground. “Hit my mom and my little sister with your car, devastating my family so my dad could go running into your unknowing mother’s arms. Were you gonna kill all of us next so you could get the money? How exactly did you plan on doing that?”

Tyler’s chest was heaving up and down, sharp breaths coming in and out of his nose.

“Layla was 12 years old, you psychopath.”

“I never meant to kill your fucking sister!”

And there it was. Eerie silence fell over the Chateau like a heavy blanket.

“You motherfucker.” You shrieked, stomping forward and sending your hand flying across his cheek. Before you could even blink, Tyler had his hand around your throat and the barrel of a gun pressed to your jaw. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. You could see the pogues, Kiara with a hand over her mouth and tears in her eyes, hugging Sarah close to her, John B and Pope holding JJ back, his eyes wild with anger and fear. You could see Topper and Kelce with wide eyes, obviously unaware of the gun in your step brother's possession. You could see Rafe with a knowing grin on his face. Bastard.

You were terrified, panic surging through your body as you tried to stay still so you wouldn’t anger him with any sudden movements.

“Any of you even think about moving and I kill her!” He screamed.

“Tyler, put the gun down man, what the fuck?” Topper said, his voice calm, trying to talk him down.

“Fuck you!”

And suddenly Tyler was on the ground, the gun flying into the darkness. JJ wasted no time running to your step brother, grabbing him by his shirt collar and beating his face with his fists. You and Rafe made eye contact before both of you made a break for the gun, scrambling through the darkness. Rafe tackled you down and tried to reach for it, but you kneed him in the crotch, hoping to buy you a couple seconds. The Cameron boy groaned and held his area, toppling over and whining in a fetal position.

“Pussy boy.” You rolled your eyes and crawled toward the gun, smiling once it was in your grip before Rafe pulled you back by your ankle. You flipped over onto your back and pointed the gun at him.

“You don’t have the guts.”

“Self defense, bitch. Now get off of me.”

Rafe backed up with his hands in the air and you made your way back to the group, gun in hand, still pointed at Rafe. Tyler and JJ were going at it, both throwing punches and kicks, the rest of the group fighting off Topper and Kelce.

“Back off my friends or I'll shoot!” You yelled, and everyone stopped and turned to you with your gun pointed at Rafe. The three kooks backed off with their hands up in surrender.

“You won’t shoot me, Little Red.” Tyler said, walking closer to you.

“I will if you try anything.” You responded, taking the gun off of Rafe and shoving him forward so he was still in your eyesight, now pointing it at Tyler.

“You stay away from her!” JJ yelled, charging towards Tyler but quickly being held back by Rafe and Topper.

Tyler got so close to you that the gun was touching his t-shirt.

Why was he testing you? He had to have something up his sleeve.

The motherfucker literally had something up his sleeve.

Tyler tore a switchblade out of his jacket sleeve and jabbed it into your collarbone, and in the same second you fired the gun.

Your brain felt fuzzy, you couldn’t even feel the knife in your collarbone, the only way you knew it was there was because you could see it sticking out of the corner of your eye.

You heard screams, multiple screams.

Footsteps running away.

Was someone crying?

Were you crying?

Everyone ran to you, JJ leading the group, so he got to you first. He immediately put his hands on your face, frantically searching your eyes before you dropped to your knees, JJ following suit.

“Baby, look at me.” He said firmly. Someone gently took the gun from your hands, why were you still holding it? You brought your hand up to touch the knife, crying out in pain from the smallest touch.

“No, don’t touch it, okay? Leave it alone, paramedics are on their way okay?”

You still didn’t look at him, your eyes were wide as you stared at everyone around you, their faces full of concern.

“She’s in shock.” Pope stated. He was crouched in front of you, next to JJ. “Try to bring her back to reality.”

“How the fuck do I do that?” JJ snapped.

“Chill, JJ! Talk to her, touch her, anything!”

JJ’s left hand continued to cradle your face and you leaned into his touch as his right hand threaded through your hair. “You’re okay, okay? Can you talk to me?” His voice broke, tears beginning to fill his blue eyes.

Your eyes wandered away from the group and landed on Tyler’s body, lifeless. You let out a gasp as if all of the wind had been knocked out of your body.

“I killed him.” You rasped.

JJ quickly moved in front of the body, blocking your view of him. Your breathing was shallow as you brought your hands up to your neck, trying to claw at the skin to make way for you to breathe. Pope’s hands gently grabbed yours, moving them away from your neck and holding them in your lap. JJ gave him a thankful nod and he situated himself in front of you.

“Christine-” Your body flooded with guilt and sadness for your stepmom, that was her son. He may have done unspeakable things to you and her family but that was her son. And you killed him.

“Hey, hey, hey. Shhh,” JJ was quick to stop the terrible thought. “You had to, okay? She’ll understand. Just focus on me, baby.”

You nodded and squeezed Pope’s hands, focusing your eyes on JJ’s.

“You’re doing so good, pretty girl. Just a couple more minutes, okay?”

You nodded again. The pain in your collarbone was beginning to worsen as your shock wore off and you whimpered.

Great, you thought, another fucking injury to make my life even better.

Really your whole body hurt, your concussion and bruises worsening and stitches ripping open from Rafe tackling you to the ground.

“It hurts.” You whine, a single tear escaping from your eye, JJ wiped it before it could run down your face. “I know.” He whispered. “I know, my love, I’m so sorry.” He rested his forehead on yours, trying his best to give you as much comfort as he could without pulling you against him and driving the blade further in.

“Fuck, you guys. We didn’t get a recording.” Kie said, slapping her palm against her forehead. You removed one hand from Pope’s and worked through your pain and brought your phone out of your back pocket, tossing it on the ground, not having enough strength to hand it to her.

John B picked it up and smiled, your phone had been recording the entire time, starting just a minute after Tyler made himself known at the Chateau.

“(Y/n), you magnificent kook.” John B said, giving your arm a squeeze. You had moved your forehead to rest on JJ’s shoulder, your body posed awkwardly to avoid the knife being touched, one hand still in Pope’s.

Everyone was relieved, but the dead body in their presence and the knife in your body made it hard to be completely relieved. Once the paramedics and police arrived, JJ had to release you from his hold, watching the paramedics put you on the gurney and load you in the back of the ambulance, by yourself, for the second time.

Kiara and Pope were talking to the police, showing them the proof on your phone and the gun and walking them through everything that happened while JJ watched the ambulance drive away, as soon as it was out of sight he broke down, John B quick to pull his friend into his arms, Sarah gently leaned her head on his back, her hand coming up to stroke his back

“She doesn’t deserve any of this.” JJ cried, holding onto his best friend. He knew you were gonna be okay, the paramedics said the knife would be easy to remove and they could stitch up the wound easily, but he was worried about you. You would never be the same.

“She doesn’t.” John B agreed.

“I just want her to be okay.”

“I know, bubba, me too.” John B replied, his own tears brimming in his eyes, “She will be.”

JJ could feel Sarah shaking against him, her tears wetting his shirt and he unravelved in arm from John B to bring her into the hug. “Get in here, kook princess.” JJ teased through his tears. Pope and Kiara soon joined the group hug, comforting their friends through touch.

“What did Shoupe say?” JJ asked once they all pulled away, wiping at his tears.

“They said (Y/n)’s okay, a very obvious case of self defense, but they’re still going to ask her a couple questions once she’s of sound mind.” Pope answered and Kiara nodded.

“Thank God.” Sarah breathed out and JJ’s shoulders relaxed in relief, one less thing to worry about.

“Well why are we all just standing here?” John B asked after a couple moments of silence. “Let’s go see our girl.”

“I am still meeeeee you are still youuuuu” I couldn’t get that damn song out of my head while I was writing this

my masterlist

taglist: @avatarastra @rowanwashere @luniibin @imjustanothernerd @maddyasleson @vntgkenz @ponyboys-sunsets @imawhoreforu @maybvnks @tpwkcth @steves-cake-face @ellavalentine1844 @aleksanderwh0r3 @sunsetloveblvd @fallingfavourites @ajxlawley @sarahcameronswhore @24kkenn @perfectnouis @heartbeats-wildly @fandoms039 @gopromises @xxxlaura @6r4cie @mendesmaybank @moonysluvr @kiwi5335 @jjs-pope @aliyahsomerhalder @parkershoco @abm111815 @allaloneisokay @father-violet @yourbloodyqueen @sweetpeterparker @holachicos @llilacwine wine @wishpretty @welcome2-theshitshow @nope-thanks @sarahs-bitch @oopsiedoopsie23 @kexrtiz @chenlemure @sarahxcameron @yoongitoo @gloryekaterina @caseysalvatore @moniamaybank @futur3milf @matbarzalschain @americaarse @stilynskii @iamthatbitchhh @rmvb24

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smiles-advice · 2 years ago

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hi! i hope you're doing fine :)

i know most people send serious asks, but i have a very silly problem that i've been struggling with for more than 2 months now and i'm just feeling very tired bc of it. like it's a daily struggle i feel like i'm going nuts

IT'S SILLY but look it's important to me. i don't want to talk about it with any of my friends or family bc i think they're just gonna to laugh at me. which would be understandable but no less hurtful. you can laugh too if you want to ig

ok anyways. i have an obsession with this piece of media. i'm not going to specify which one not bc it's immoral or awful or whatever i just don't want to say it. also it'd make things more embarrassing i think. it's a very lovely piece of media i promise

i was really looking forward to seeing the events of the story unfold and actually i think that may have been the only thing keeping me happy this year. that's bc i usually always have an obsession with a different thing every 2-3 years and they're usually the things that keep me motivated to keep going with my life and bring me instant serotonin. the problem is some months ago i got spoiled for some aspects of the end of it bc leaks are a big problem in the fandom :')

and it just ruined some of my excitement. the problem is i wish i could feel as happy as i did before it happened. i don't want to let go of something that made happy just bc of a spoiler but it feels like everything is just ruined ig. like the spoiler is out of context and i don't even understand the whole repercussions of it on the story but after lots of thinking I THINK that may be even worse bc if my brain keeps trying to make sense out of it but i obviously can't. and i also don't actually want to make sense out of it of course bc that would mean even more spoilers lmao my brain keeps catastrophizing it

i just wish i believed it when i try to tell myself that it's ok and that it's not a big deal bc ITS NOT (right?) but it feels like a big deal to me. and then i feel stupid bc this shouldn't be so hard. i know for a fact lots of people got spoiled and they seem fine so why am freaking out so much. i just feel so sad and no amount of reasoning with myself is helping

anyways you don't need to answer me if you don't want to! i just wanted to get it out of my chest with someone who doesn't know me. it feels safer that way

thanks for reading i'm going to cry a little now bc apparently yes my brain can make everything super hard for myself even tho i've been trying so hard to fix this for the past few months. i wish i could fix this

hello darling!

first of all, its not silly at all. if it matters to you, it matters to you.

secondly, youre allowed to be upset when something gets spoiled for you, its just human nature. sadly, there will always be people who enjoy ruining things for others, thats also just life. you arent stupid for feeling upset, your emotions are valid and i get it.

honestly, try to push past this. remember that this piece of media is something you love! and so its okay that its been spoiled, because you still love it.

and cry all you need! its a nice, healthy way to release some negative emotions.

lots of love to you doll, keep your head up 💛

#long post #answered #anonymous #asks

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holylulusworld · 4 years ago

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For your celebration drabble can I have Jensen x fem Reader? Please make it super angsty. Maybe a break-up? Can the reader be pregnant too? Please, give mr a happy end with Jrensen. I don't have an idea for the fall/halloween theme. Can you chiose for me? Thank you

Walking by

11,000 Followers Fall & Halloween drabbles

Summary: It’s been months since he left you. Now the man breaking your heart complains in public.

Warnings: angst, language, Jensen being a douche for a moment or two, break-up, pregnant reader, kinda public bashing (online/mentioned), comforting, fluff

Pairing: former Jensen x Reader

Characters: Jared Padalecki, Genevieve Padalecki, Ofc Judith

A/N: Inspired by Dido’s “Walking by”; lyrics taken from the song in Italics.

A/N2: Okay, that one got away from me and it’s longer than 500 words. I did not go for a happy ending but a hopeful one. I kept it open for the reader to decide if you give him a second chance.

Divider by @firefly-graphics

You and him. Once upon a time you and Jensen were a whirlwind romance, maybe it was even love at first sight.

Now all you’ve got left of the love you shared is a bitter taste on your tongue.

His lawyer made sure you will keep your mouth shut about the break-up as in your love-sick state, you signed a confidentiality obligation when you got together. This means you are committed to pay penalty for every violation against the confidentiality obligation at the rate of 10,000, dollars.

Keep me locked up, keep me shut in

You can but my mind still roams free

You can keep me caged, you can tell me to be quiet

But I remember everything

Unlike you, Jensen preferred to tell everyone about your break-up. Even though it was him who broke things up, he insists you broke his heart, not the other way around.

Sometimes you look at your phone, shaking your head at the next hurtful interview. He’s a great actor, you give him that. Breaking up with you as he feared his career would be ruined if people get to know you used to work as an exotic dancer to pay for your study was not enough. No, Jensen must rub salt into the wounds he left.

Please don't forget that you broke your own heart

And don't forget that you lost your mind

“How does it feel to break a good man’s heart?” The paparazzi snarls at you. He’s getting into your personal space, taking pictures of you, and even worse, your six, months baby bump. “Is that the guy's child? The ones you left Jensen for?”

“Leave me alone. I got nothing to say to you,” brushing past the man you try to outrun him, but he runs after you, almost pushing you to the ground.

“Hey, asshole! Leave the girl alone,” a familiar voice barks. “Don’t you have better things to do than hunting a – fuck me – pregnant woman?” Jared grumbles, wrapping his arms protectively around your waist whilst Gen threatens to call the cops.

“Get lost. Leave Y/N alone,” Gen warns, already dialing 911. “I swear we will sue you. We all saw you were about to attack a pregnant girl.”

“Classy,” the man spats. “You protect an unfaithful stripper girl who broke your best friend's heart…”

“Y/N,” Gen tries to touch your arm, but you shove her hand away. “Please, let us help you.”

“Leave me the fuck alone. All of you,” you wiggle out of Jared’s embrace, not wanting him to help you. “I don’t need you. I could’ve handled the situation all by myself, just like the last six months as no one wanted to hear my side of the story. Or rather, I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone the truth.”

Please stop tellin' everybody that I did it for you

'Cause every step I take I'm always here behind you

And I don't need words or anything from you

And I wish I'd never felt it, kept on walking by

And I wish I'd never met you, kept on walking by

You walk away, not listening to Gen or Jared calling your name. Ignoring their voices, you wipe a few tears away before you rush toward your car.

“Y/N, please stop walking away.” Jared tries to catch up with you. He’s jogging now, worriedly placing one hand onto your shoulder. “Why don’t you tell us your side of the story?”

“If you want to know if the baby is Jensen’s, the answer is that its none of your fucking business. You should also know I can’t talk about anything including my relationship with Jensen as I don’t have 10,000 bucks to waste.” You walk by, ignoring Jared’s words.

Keep me locked up, keep me shut in

But I remember everything

Please don't forget that you sought your own heart

And don't forget that you lost your way

“Another interview?” Judith, your best friend, sighs. “That bastard should shut his cakehole.” You snicker, giving her hand a tight squeeze. “Will he sue you if I kick his balls?”

“He would know I told you the reason for the break-up,” you look at the pictures on Jensen’s Instagram account, shaking your head. “Soon I’m out of here. I got a new job and will leave the country. No one cares about Supernatural in Denmark.”

“As far as you know,” Judith pokes your belly, hating you look sad. “How about we go for a walk in the park? You love the colorful leaves, I know it.”

“Jensen, he used to go with me for a walk in the park when the leaves started to change their color. He even collected a few for me,” you smile at the memory but then your face falls. “I thought he loves me until my past collided with his career.”

Please stop tellin' everybody that I did it for you

'Cause every step I take I'm always here behind you

And I don't need words or anything from you

And I wish I'd never seen it, kept on walking by

And I wish I'd never met you, kept on walking by

And I wish I'd never tried it, kept on walking by

And I wish I'd never felt it, kept on walking by

“He’s a fucking asshole who dared to say it was your fault he broke up with you. Period.”

“I didn’t give him choice, you know. I said if he wants a break, this means we are over,” you whisper, running one hand over your swollen belly.

“Let’s go to the park and enjoy the sun, the leaves and we can scream at guys who want to play football,” Judith holds out her hand, offering to go with you but you shake your head. “Not today?”

“Not today, Jude…”

The sun warms your face, and for a moment, you close your eyes to enjoy the warmth. There is a sadness in your heart you can’t shake off.

Yes, you told Jensen if he wants a break to overthink your relationship this means you are over, but you never thought he would go for it.

“Y/N,” there is this tiny voice in your head telling you to run, as fast as you can hearing his voice. “Please, give me a minute.”

“If you came to ask if I told Gen or Jared anything, you can go back home. Your fine lawyer made sure I can’t tell anyone you were the one who broke things off with me,” you grumble, glancing at the colorful leaves in Jensen’s hands.

“I didn’t come here to complain or to fight. I hoped you would be here,” Jensen mumbles stepping closer. “Shit, Y/N. I don’t know why I did not try to fix us.”

“You said everything I needed to know months ago. If you excuse me now, I got somewhere else to be. You know, when we met that day, the day you broke things off with your wife,” your voice cracks when you meet Jensen’s gaze. “The day you came to the club and poured your heart out, I should’ve never listened to your shit.”

You start to walk away, not missing the sob leaving Jensen’s lips. “Y/N, please. I know that you’ve got no reason to forgive me, not after I agreed to give all those stupid interviews. My management, they said you must take the blame for the break-up.”

“Fuck you. Fuck your management,” you spat into Jensen’s face. “I got no reason to forgive you, and I won’t…”

“Baby…I love you,” shaking your head you wrap your arms around your waist. “I love you so much it hurts. I wish I told you sooner.”

“I wasn’t finished, Jensen. When we met the other week and you grasped for my arm to kiss me,” you huff, meeting his gaze one last time. “I should’ve kept on walking by. I wish I never met you. I wish I never felt anything for you. I wish I never saw the way you looked at me when you believed I wasn’t looking.” You sniffle, eyes cast down. “If I would’ve walked by, I wouldn’t be so much in love with you…”

Please stop tellin' everybody that I did it for you

'Cause every step I take I'm always here without you

And I don't need words or anything from you

And I wish I'd never met you, kept on walking by

And I wish I'd never felt it, kept on walking by

And I wish I'd never seen it, kept on walking by

And I wish I'd never met you, kept on walking by

“Baby girl,” Jensen steps closer to cup your face. His thumb wipes the tears away. “I can be a better man. I told everyone that it was me messing things up. It’s all over the media. I fired my management; lawyer and I will do anything you want me to do. Just…please…take me back…”

“Jay,” you choke his name out, fighting your tears. “I don’t think I can…”

“Please, don’t walk by. Please don’t forget about me,” Jensen presses his forehead against yours, praying you’ll be able to forgive him. “I…I wasn’t with anyone, I swear. I regretted my decision the moment I left your apartment, but it was too late. Honestly, I was there, at your home, more than once but feared you would hate me.”

“I can’t, Jensen. Not now,” you run off, tears falling now.

“Y/N, please...just give me a chance,” Jensen runs after you, grasping for your hand. “All I’m asking for is that we talk things out. Please...”

“Jensen,” voice trembling you look up at Jensen. “Okay. I can try to talk things out, but that’s all I’m willing to give...”

SPN Forever Tags

@donnaintx

@screechingartisancashbailiff

@fallen-wolf22

@sister-winchesters99

@mogaruke

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@moosekateer13

@miss-nerd95

@caffeinefueledfangirl

@fanatic343

@vicmc624

@mariaenchanted

--------------------------------------

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags

@spnfamily-j2

@supernatural-bellawinchester

@negans-lucille-tblr

@deans-baby-momma

@thefaithfulwriter

@squirrelnotsam

@roonyxx

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@magssteenkamp

@tranquility-or-chaos

@jxackles

@michellemxndes

@addictedtofictionalcharacters

@gabifernandessn

@waywardrose13

@team-free-will-you-idjiot

@myopiamystical

@rintheemolion

@bluecornflowers

@rosalynshields

@nihilismworld

@peaches007

#Jensen Ackles #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles one shots #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #angst #pregnant reader #jensen x reader #jensen ackles fanfics #Supernatural RPF #rpf #rpf fanfic #jensen ackles rpf #11000 Followers celebration #11000 Followers Fall & Halloween drabbles masterlist

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kbuggg3 · 3 years ago

Text

JC Caylen Imagine: “Don’t Be Sorry”

Today's has been a pretty eventful day to say the least. While my boyfriend JC was out with some old friends who came into town to visit him, me and my dad got into a fight... again.

But the thing that hurts the most is not only is this the 4th time in a row he's been caught, but I'm the one that keeps witnessed it. Your probably wonder "the 4th time? Why do you keep falling for his bullshit?"

Welp. He's my dad. I'm not just gonna give up on him completely. When we would catch him doing something he would let fake tears fall from his eyes as he was apologizing to us and we would forgive him.

And then we'd catch him again, he'd apologize, we'd forgive him. It was an endless cycle. But this time I knew I can't get my hopes up to high anymore.

My mom always told me it takes years to build trust and seconds to destroy it. I felt that. He didn't only ruin my trust with him, but my trust with everyone else. I let everything that happened get to my head and now I have major trust issues. With the exception of one person.

JC Caylen

Before i met JC my life was pretty miserable. I lived in Florida with my mom and my older sister. After my mom and dad got divorced, my family slowly started going down hill.

My dad was barely in the picture due to his constant sneaking around as he was hooking up with random people and getting drunk and being so lazy that he never even bothered covering his tracks, allowing us to discover his dirty little secrets for ourselves.

My poor brother was clueless. Had no idea what his own father was doing behind his back and we didn't bother telling him because 1.) he was a very sensitive boy at the time and 2.) he looked to my dad for everything. My dad was his role model.

After awhile of all of this, my sister was diagnosed with depression. Not too severe but even the smallest bit can make you feel like shit. And as for me, I struggled with self love. Because I didn't really have a good male figure on my life I looked to guys for verification.

But after i spent a week with him and the rest of the O2l house at Vidcon i felt like my life was finally picking up. Fast forward a couple years and my sisters depression is gone, my brother grew up to be an amazing dad of 2 kids, and as for me, i stopped looking for verification in guys and me and JC started dating.

We've been dating for 2 years now and he has been nothing but amazing. I love him so much and I know he loves me. Ever since we've started dating people have been telling me they've never seen me so happy before or they've never seen me smile or laugh that much before.

I just wished he was here to comfort me right now. I haven't told him what happened yet. I didn't wanna ruin his day. He was hanging out with some old friends of his who flew down to visit him.

I wasn't gonna burden him with my stupid family issues while he was out with his friends. I turned on a random disney movie and began to watch as I continued to cry at random times when the old memories would pop up in my mind.

I would squeeze my eyes shut and burry my head in my pillow trying to make them stop but they never went away, no matter how hard i tried. Eventually I decided enough was enough. I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to call JC. I grabbed the phone and went to his name in my contacts. I dried my tears and took a few deep breaths to stop myself from crying so he wouldn't notice and be too worried.

After attempting to recollect myself, i pressed call, holding the phone up to my ear as i heard it ring. A few seconds later the line picked up and i heard his sweet voice on the other end.

"What's up baby." JC said in a super deep voice cause you to giggle only slightly.

"Hey JC. Um, I was just wondering when you were gonna be home?"

"Is my girl missing me already?"

"What do mean already you've been gone for hourrrrsssss." She groaned causing him to chuckle.

"I know baby I'm sorry. I'll actually be home soon."

I sighed with relief before responding, "Thank god!"

"Is everything ok (y/n)?"

Shit. Don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry.

She sniffles a little and swallowed hard.

"Y-ya baby why do you ask?" My breath was uneven and he could tell.

"No no. Your not ok. I'm coming over right now."

Don't mess this up (y/n) he's having fun. Don't ruin his day.

"JC it's fine. I'm gonna be ok. Just go hang out with your friends. Have fun!"

"Gonna be?!"

I pulled back and cringed at my own words. Shouldn't have said that.

"Gonna be ok??? (y/n) what happened???" JC exclaimed again. She sighed and rubbed her forehead.

"JC I'm-"

Tell him your fine. He's with his friends. He doesn't need this right now.

Tell him what you tell everyone else in your life. Your fine.

"It's my dad again." I said with tears in my eyes.

What the fuck (y/n)! How could you?!

He can tell by my voice I was crying.

"Fuck. Baby I'm coming over right now." He side sternly. Was he mad?

"N-no JC it's ok really I-"

"No! (y/n) it's not ok! Baby he's put you through so much shit and I'm tired of it! You don't deserve that! You nor your family!" He began to shout a little and it caused her to cry harder. Not because I'm scared of him. But because he cared so much and that meant the world to her. He's the only one who gets it.

He did a deep sigh and you already knew he was running his hands through his hair and pacing, something he did when he was stressed, nervous, or in this case pissed off.

"I'm coming over. I'll be there in a few just hang on ok?"

At first no words were spoken. She didn't want to agree because she still felt bad about burdening him with it. But she was going to lose her fucking mind if he wasn't holding her ASAP so she finally spoke a barely audible "ok".

Immediately the phone call was ended. (y/n)'s phone slid out of her hand and onto the floor. She sat there curled up on her bed for awhile, staring blankly at the floor as her head was leaned on the head rest.

The thoughts and images filled her head again and she began to cry and cry and cry. "Go away." She whispered with quivering lips. "Go away!"

Not too long after the phone call she heard keys rattling as whoever was on the other side, who she assumed was JC, tried to open the door. She then heard footsteps quickly going up the stairs.

Her teary eyes slowly looked up to the door and saw the door knob slowly being turned, then the door opened revealing her boyfriend. In her mind she was smiling, finally being able to see him, but on the outside she unintentionally showed the opposite.

They made eye contact and (y/n) saw the sympathetic look on JC's face. She hated it when people would look at her like that and he knew it. He just couldn't help it. It makes her feel weak and helpless even tho those are the exact words that describe her in this moment.

When she saw the look on his face she quickly looked away, turning her head to the side and squeezed her eyes shut as more tears slipped down her cheeks, slightly embarrassed by her fragile appearance.

She felt the bed beside her dip down meaning JC was now sitting next to her on the bed.

"Baby..."

JC gently touched her chin and moved it to where her eyes had nowhere else to look but his.

"I... I am so sorry."

After looking into his beautiful brown eyes, (y/n) finally gave in and buried her face in his shoulder as she sat in his lap in a straddle like position.

Her arms were tightly wrapped around his neck and the more she cried the tighter she would hold on. In return JC would squeeze her back, both arms wrapped around her waist. He then began to run his hand through her hair and draw small circles on her back in a soothing motion.

JC continued to whisper little nothings in her ear as she gripped his shirt that was soaked with her tears.

"You don't deserve this."

"None of this is your fault."

"You're an amazing girl."

"You're my amazing girl."

After a few minutes or so of them sitting in silence, JC asked her if she wanted to lay down and cuddle while they watched a movie. (y/n) could only nod her head as they repositioned themselves to where she was laying on JC's stomach with her face still buried in his chest. He put on her favorite Disney movie "Finding Nemo" hoping it would encourage her to lift her head and hopefully help calm her.

When she heard the music play softly from the TV she slowly and hesitantly lifted her head from JC's chest as she positioned her head to where she could see the movie displayed on the large screen. JC smiled at her and kissed the top of her head. Occasionally throughout the movie he would rub her back soothingly, play with her hair, and give her kisses on the top of her head or forehead, causing (y/n) to smile slightly.

"Thank you... Seriously," (y/n) said quietly. He was surprised at first, judging by the fact that neither of them have said a word to each other for about an hour (not in a rude way of course but because there was no need for words. They just needed time to think and relax). "No problem, baby. I love you so so much."

(y/n) look up at him, resting her chin on his chest. He noticed how the red puffiness in her eyes went down and there was not a tear in sight, causing his heart to warm and a smile to make its way across his face. "I love you too." They shared a short but sweet kiss and went to sleep cuddled up in their bed as "Finding Nemo" continued to play and lull them into a deep and peaceful sleep.

ngl I hate writing sad stuff (unless y’all request it obvi) but I got this idea and couldn’t get it out of my head so you’re welcome. If you have any requests and/or feedback let me know plz! Love y'all💋 ~Kbug :)

#jc #jc caylen #jc x reader #jc caylen x reader #knj #kian and jc

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writers-block246 · 4 years ago

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Could you do where you’re playing Angelica in Hamilton and the whole cast knows you and Daveed are practically in love with each other so Lin conspires and sets you up on a blind date with each other pls? 🥰

Yes! I am so so sorry for the late response! We’ve all been super busy with school and college applications. Hopefully, we’ll be able to continue to post more often. I hope you like it :) Notes: italics are thoughts

“I will never be satisfied.”

Your voice trailed off as your chest heaved, trying to regain your breath. You tried to hold back a smile as you gazed across the crowd, who was in awe. Finally, your eyes swept onto the stage, where they met with chocolate brown ones. A blush threatened to overcome your face, and you had never been more thankful for the dim lighting.

Daveed.

The man had been your long-time crush ever since you had started playing Angelica in Hamilton. His sense of humor and kind heart had made you fall quickly. Plus, it helped that he wasn’t bad looking, either. Quite the opposite, in fact. Mocha skin with soft curly brown hair, and those pretty brown eyes invaded your dreams constantly. You often wondered how those strong arms would feel wrapped around your waist.

Shaking your head, you focused on the musical once more. Pushing thoughts of Daveed from your mind, you fell into step with the others.

It seemed like no time at all had passed when Act 1 came to an end. Hurrying back stage, you stumbled when your foot caught on a strewn prop. Bracing for the fall, you opened your eyes when you realized it never came. Those arms you had dreamed about constantly held you tight against Daveed. A low chuckle sounded in your ear.

“Careful there.”

You gave a nervous smile as a light rosy color filled your cheeks. “My bad. Thanks.”

Setting you back on your feet, he smiled brightly. “No problem. I’m just glad you didn’t get hurt.”

Your heart fluttered at his admission, and the blush deepened on your face.

“I appreciate that. You know how clumsy I can be sometimes,” you stated, letting out a nervous chuckle.

He gave a deep laugh, and you smiled at him.

Goodness, I just want to make him laugh all the time.

“Maybe. But it’s cute, though.”

Cute. Did he just call me cute??

Before you had a chance to delve into that, however, someone called Daveed’s name.

An apologetic smile made its way onto his face, and he squeezed your shoulder. “Sorry, I have to go get changed for Act II. I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, of course.”

He flashed you a smile one last time before he made his way to his dressing room.

A whistle sounded behind you.

Rolling your eyes, you come face to face with Lin, who was grinning from ear to ear.

“Aww you two are so cute,” he teased.

You blushed furiously. “Shut up, Lin.”

He laughed at your embarrassed tone. “Ah, young love. I remember it quite well.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his antics. “You’re so dramatic.”

“Maybe, but it’s part of the job. Seriously, though, you should just tell him how you feel. What could go wrong?”

You scoffed. “Literally so many things. He could not feel the same way, and then our friendship could be ruined forever. Maybe the rejection will be so bad that I couldn’t even work here anymore. I-“

A soft murmur of your name stopped the words from falling from your lips.

“All of that talk and you never once considered a good outcome. You know those exist, right?”

You sighed. “Look, Lin. I really don’t have time for this right now. I have to fix my makeup.”

He nodded, though he didn’t look too pleased with your words. Turning on your heel, you walked to your dressing room, forcing yourself to not look back.

Lin just didn’t understand. Clearly, you had feelings for Daveed. And he had an inkling that those feelings were returned. Making up his mind, he headed toward Daveed’s dressing room.

Daveed heard a knock on his door, and looking up from fixing his outfit, he called for them to enter.

Lin popped his head through the door. “Hey, Diggs. What’s up?”

“Just getting ready for the next act, why? What’s happening?” Daveed said while grasping his water bottle.

Lin smiled mischievously. “Oh, nothing. Just wondering when you’re gonna admit your feelings for Y/N and get together with her.”

Water went flying as Daveed began coughing. “What? What are you talking about?”

Lin rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, Diggs. I’m not blind.”

Daveed shook his head in denial. “No, man. She doesn’t see me like that, and I’m not risking our friendship because I couldn’t keep my feelings to myself. It’ll pass with time, anyway.”

“Really? Because you’ve been mooning over her for months.”

Daveed’s head lowered. “I just can’t, Lin. I can’t risk losing her.”

Lin nodded at the change in Daveed’s tone, realizing that he probably shouldn’t push the man any further. “Okay, that’s understandable. I’ll see you on stage, man.”

Daveed nodded. “Okay. Break a leg.”

“You, too!”

The door clicked behind Lin, and Daveed forced himself to focus on getting ready for the next act.

Hurrying on your way to the stage, you caught Daveed’s eye once more. You smiled at him, and in return, he winked. A blush formed on your face.

Oooh, boy.

And with that, Act II had begun.

In a whirlwind, the show was over, and everyone was to bow. A hand grasped yours, and you looked up. Daveed squeezed your palm and chuckled low in your ear. You couldn’t help but let loose a shy giggle and squeeze back in response.

After you bowed, you and the cast made your way backstage. You headed toward your dressing room to get changed.

Lin, freshly changed and back on stage after the audience had filed out, walked up to Anthony and Jasmine.

Anthony looked up as Lin approached. “Have any luck with our resident love birds, yet?”

Lin gave a rueful smile. “No, not yet. I tried hinting at it today, but they’re not getting it.”

Jasmine sighed. “Gosh, its sad to see your friends upset when they could be so happy together.”

“Yeah, I wish we could help,” Anthony agreed.

At this, Lin cocked his head to the side. “Actually, you might be able to.”

Pulling them closer, Lin began to reveal his plan.

You were just grabbing your purse when a knock sounded at your dressing room door. “Yeah?” you called.

Jasmine entered and shut the door quietly behind her. “Hey, girl. You did great tonight!”

“Thanks! You, too!”

She smiled, but then gave a slight wince. “Look, I’m going to get straight to the point here. I know about your feelings for Daveed.”

You sighed. “That obvious, huh?”

“Well....” she chuckled. “Pretty much the whole cast, minus him, knows.”

Wincing, you replied: “That’s super embarrassing.”

Jasmine rushed to correct you. “No it’s not! You can’t help your feelings. I’m not going to try to convince you to tell him, because I know you won’t. But, you know, the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else.” She sent you a suggestive look.

“Ugh, I don’t know, Jas. That’s not really my style.”

“Look, I know a guy, and he’s just your type. And, plus, it’s only one date. If it doesn’t work out, no harm no foul. But if it does....”

“Do you mean, like ... a blind date?”

“Yes! It’s more fun that way,” she giggled.

You weighed your options. On one hand, you weren’t sure you were ready to get back into the dating pool, especially after being so hung up on Daveed for so long. On the other, however, you figured it was probably time to get over him, as nothing was going to come of it. And, hell, now was as good as time as any.

Giving a long sigh, you agreed: “Fine. One date.”

Jasmine smiled and pulled you in for a hug. “Yes! I promise you won’t regret it! I’ll text you the details!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at her excitement. “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay! Have a great night!”

“You too, Jas.”

The door clicked shut behind her, and you realized what you had just agreed to.

Ugh, let’s hope I didn’t get myself into too much trouble.

Daveed was just about to leave when he heard Anthony calling his name. Stopping, he waited for the other man to catch up with him.

“Yo, man. It was a great show tonight, huh?”

“Definitely. You killed it out there.”

“Thanks, you too! Though, I did want to talk to you about something else.”

Daveed’s eyebrows furrowed. “Okay. What’s up?”

Anthony grasped his shoulder. “Look, I know how you feel about Y/N. And I want to help.”

Daveed grimaced. “Man, you too? I guess I’m not really subtle then, huh?”

Anthony chuckled. “Not really, no.”

Sighing, Daveed said: “I already told Lin, I can’t tell Y/N how I feel. It’s too risky, especially with us working together. And I really want her to be apart of my life.”

Anthony squeezed his shoulder. “Well, I’m not here to tell you to admit your feelings to Y/N. I do think, though, that if you’re not going to, you should, at least, try to move on.”

“I don’t know....”

“Look, just give it a shot. I know someone, and I think you’ll like her. One date, that’s all. If it doesn’t work out, no big deal.”

Daveed thought it over. He really didn’t want to move on from you, because he knew he still held deep feelings for you. However, he didn’t plan on confessing anytime soon, so maybe one date wouldn’t hurt.

“Okay.”

Anthony smiled. “Hell yeah! I’ll let her know, and send you the details.”

“Sounds good. Thanks, man.”

“Of course! See you tomorrow!”

Daveed returned the sentiment, and began his trek home.

Ugh, what did I just agree to?

The day of the date came fast, and you found yourself clambering around your room searching for something to wear. Finally, you chose your favorite outfit, one you knew you would be confident and comfortable in. Fixing your makeup, you headed out the door.

You arrived at the restaurant, and once you entered, your scanned the room for your date. Checking your phone, you reviewed the message Jasmine sent you with the details for the date.

According to Jas, he should be sitting in the back booth in a black dress shirt and jeans.

You sighed, steeling yourself for the night ahead, and walked toward the back of the restaurant.

...only to be met with Daveed?

Daveed who happened to be in the back booth with a black dress shirt and jeans on.

No way.

Almost as if he sense your presence, he looked up from his phone screen. Confusion clouded his features.

“Y/N?”

“Hey, Daveed.”

“What are you doing here?”

A blush overtook your features. “I’m on a blind date, actually.”

His brows furrowed. “Really? Me, too.....oh.”

You chuckled nervously. “Yeah. I think we’ve been set up.”

He smiled. “Appears so. Could be worse, though.”

Giggling, you teased: “Oh, and how do you figure?”

“Well, I could have worse company,” he smirked.

Blushing again, you agreed.

“Why don’t you take a seat? I mean, you’re already here.”

You nodded. “I guess you’re right.”

“Aren’t I always?”

A chuckle flew past your lips without you even realizing. You didn’t know why you were so nervous initially. This was just Daveed, you’re close friend and confidant. It was so easy to just fall into place with him.

Dinner flew by as the two of you made small talk. You began to realize you had endless things in common, even outside of your job.

Halfway through the meal, you felt a soft touch on your hand, and you saw that he had placed his larger one overtop yours. His thumb traced soothing circles into the top of your hand, and you felt yourself relax even more.

His hands are so soft and strong, but also so gentle.

Not wanting the night to end, you ordered dessert, which you both fed to one another. A drop of ice cream rested on your lips, and Daveed reached over to wipe it off. A careful hand grasped your face while another dabbed at the liquid, and a giggle escaped you. They seemed to be in abundance tonight. Truly, you hadn’t had this much fun in ages.

“As much as I can’t stand Lin’s meddling, I have to say it worked in my favor tonight,” Daveed said, pretty brown eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Yeah? I think so, too,” you shyly responded.

You were awarded with a bright grin.

And it was true. You were infinitely glad that Daveed was your date tonight, and not some random guy. This was so much better.

Sadly, dinner finally came to an end, but Daveed insisted on walking you home to ensure your safety. You felt a broad, warm hand settle on your lower back as you exited the restaurant. You couldn’t help but lean into his touch.

The walk back to your home was filled with comfortable silence, as you reflected on the night’s events.

I can’t believe how well it went. Maybe there could be more to this?

With the way Daveed pulled you closer into his side, you didn’t think that was too outrageous of a belief.

You just couldn’t stop smiling. And neither, it seemed, could he.

Arriving at your doorstep, his hand fell from your back. You couldn’t help but feel disappointed at it’s loss.

Daveed gave you a shy grin. “I had a lot of fun tonight.”

“I did, too. I’m really glad you were my blind date,” you giggled.

“Yeah?” he questioned as he stepped closer to you.

You raised your head to meet his gaze, eyes falling to his lips. “Yeah.”

A gentle hand found its way to the side of your face, and his thumb ran across your cheek.

He looked for an affirmation in your eyes, and when he found one, his soft, plush lips landed on yours.

He kissed you tenderly, cradling your face between his hands. You rose onto the tips of your feet, desperately trying to get closer to him. Your fingers tangled themselves into his hair. His hands ran down your arms and came to rest upon your waist, pulling you closer. You couldn’t help but moan into his mouth. In response, he grinned against your lips.

After what seemed like hours, you pulled back. “I feel like this is a good time to mention that I’m in love with you.”

He laughed breathlessly. “Oh good, because I’m in love with you, too.”

You needed to remember to send Lin and the rest of the cast a fruit basket.

-Admin Cheyenne :)

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juuls · 3 years ago

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This was a comment left on chapter 11 of my fem!Tony Stuckony time travel/soulmate fic, Hanging From a Cross of Iron, and I just wanted to put a couple things out there.

First of all, I’m not mad. We’ll make that clear. I’ve received variations of this comment before and it’s rather on the mark. But sometimes both sides can be correct in how they interpret a piece of fiction, and I wanted to show that.

So… yeah. This is something I get every so often on this fic, especially around this chapter (10-12ish) and I just… really wanted to post my reply to it, if for nothing other than explaining the way my brain works and WHY I hate Captain America: Civil War so much for ruining so many good things in fandom.

I’m not putting this out there for sympathy or agreement or to start a fight or stupid shit. It’s more like a… “I’m tired of explaining myself, let me post something I feel is a semi-eloquent response to someone who was at least mostly respectful and got some things right, who I know does represent a fair portion of people who may be interested in reading this fic,” which I could then just point/link to the next time I wake up to things making me sad in my inbox on top of me being sad and feeling guilty at not having written for a while.

Stupid covid. Stupid life being dumb and depressing and draining energy and happiness from many. Just you wait. I’ll be back soon with Codega and this fic, Cross.

But here. This is my reply to the above comment:

So I don’t normally reply to critique such as this because this IS fanfiction, but you are at least part right: it IS supposed to be unfair.

This is me working out my issues with Civil War, because boy that sure as fuck pissed me off. I love Stuckony, but after CACW it was really hard to reconcile that love anymore. So this was my way to do that, and I 100% wanted to bring in the unfairness, the distrust, the favouritism, the… meanness that I saw and felt after that.

It’s also a way for me to work through my issues at the injustices I suffered at the hands of my ex-husband—I started writing this shortly after packing my bags and leaving.

I wanted a slow, somewhat realistic, non-fairytale path to even partial redemption, shared pain and circumstances and experiences, and to show that things CAN work out as long as certain lines are not crossed. I skirt the line sometimes, definitely on purpose, but that’s for ME.

I wanted to turn the tables: Steve (and Bucky) were out of their time and comfort zone in the future—Toni, in turn, needed to be out of her time and comfort zone in the past.

Plus, can you imagine a soulmate world where you’ve had a partner and you think “this is it”? Then bam! Suddenly someone’s suddenly thrust into your life.

And I wanted to play on every single issue Toni would have experienced with her family, friends, “friends”, enemies, Obie, her company, the world, etc., post-IM2.

None of them have had an easy go of it and war is goddamn hell. They ALL have PTSD. (But also, lol, the Howlies start laying into Stucky about what you’re getting mad about here too, so I’m way ahead of you!)

From the beginning, this was as much a psychological setting as a romantic one: way more so in the beginning. But it slowly crawls its way out of the murk. I wanted a soulmate story where it wasn’t all sunshine and roses. I wanted a story where they had to fight for it… or where they had a choice, shitty as it may be (they’ll NEVER choose not to have Toni, that was never going to happen). I wanted something… realistic, even amidst super soldiers, super tech, an almost unbelievable war, and soulmates existing.

I wanted it to be a fight. I wanted rejection… then them, ALL of them, to choose each other despite that, despite their past, and despite fate.

That is my goal with this fic. And since I take my own sweet time, that’s really not readily apparent so soon in this fic, even at chapter 11.

The love will be there. The unconditional love, the equal triadic love. Not just Stucky plus Toni. Because believe me, Stucky is probably one of my least favourite ships that include some of my favourite characters. Sounds ridiculous since I write them here, but as a historian I wanted to take that, take some realism, with a dash of ridiculous and hurt and pain and anger, and see what I could do with that.

The entire reason this story exists is because of a scene idea I had that doesn’t come about until the future in the 20s chapters. Leaning on each other and trusting each other because one of them was lost. Well, technically, that happens twice.

But the point is: this is a long as fuck story towards a love they have to (and WANT to, eventually) fight tor.

This fic is for me. It’s for people like me. It’s for people who don’t want an easy love story. It’s absolutely okay that you don’t like it! There are SO many fics that I dislike for a variety of reasons, and I simply close it, mark it as Did Not Finish, and don’t return. I recognize not every fic is for me.

This one’s for me. I may have sort of stalled out where I’m at in the 20s chapters, but it’s left at a pretty good place, and I’m looking forward to this dumb pandemic so I can get back to forging this love between these three idiots, as well as pick up an old Star Wars story I left 4+ years ago due to the abuse at the hands of my ex. But I’m ready to return to it now. Well, after the world calms down a little.

It’s okay if you’re done with this story—that is 100% your choice and I will never begrudge you that. I’m glad you gave it a try though! If you’re interested, you could skip ahead and see how the dynamics have changed, or I could give you clips and examples too.

My one wish (though I understand it completely) is that you had not done this on Anon. For a few reasons:

1, I would never hold this opinion against you, especially because you got tons of it right! Go you!

2, I’d love to understand you better and discuss this with you. No recriminations whatsoever.

3, But I do wonder who of those who have read my other writings left me this message. It makes me a little sad, and I will wonder which of the people I talk to have this negative opinion of me now, but that’s also my own past issues rearing their ugly heads. You have every right to remain on Anon, though it’s not so nice when you wake from a nice dream and discover anon ‘dislike’ in your inbox on a work you slaved away on, and that the dislike is specifically about the things you wrote about deliberately, hah. Sorta funny, actually, so I’ll let that one go. xD

Thank you, though, even if I disliked reading this words: it helps me to look at my own work critically and to better understand how to frame and write things going forward.

Not every fic is for everyone, and that’s okay. I’ve encountered mine, you’ve encountered yours, but I think we’ve both learned from this interaction.

Whoever you may be, even if you divulge your handle to me, my respect for you wouldn’t diminish. It’s good to have healthy discussions and to look critically upon your own work—even if I am a sensitive bean and it hurts a little, I’m fine. :P

I think the lesson to be learned here is: fuck everything after CACW!!!! Grrrrr xD

Take care,

Juuls

P.S. I may post parts of this on my Tumblr because I do occasionally encounter similar complaints about this story, and I think maybe this is the most coherent and respectful enough comment-reply response I’ve had on this topic. Thank you.

P.P.S. Happy to talk privately too!

P.P.P.S. And the offer still stands for some lovely clips from future chapters, especially if you’re not considering continuing reading this story anymore; it’ll at least show what I’m talking about and what I’ve been working tirelessly towards. It’s hard—fucking hard—work to get past CACW and still like these characters together (my fic Paper Boats is probably one of my bigger testaments to that, oof) and I admit it’s still really really hard and I struggle with it. Covid isn’t the only reason I’ve sort of stalled out on that. But that’s more because I’m like “now what?” than not seeing any love between these three.

It’s a long journey. I knew it was going to be. But I like a challenge. :)

Take care, be well, stay safe, to you and all of yours.

And may you find many fics you love!

#fanfiction #comments #commenting #comment replies #stuckony #hanging from a cross of iron #my writing #i know i don’t need to justify my writing but i am rather lacking in confidence most days #so stuff like this does suck #but it’s also helpful y’know?#not mad! not sad! seriously #i like engaging in conversations about WHY we write what we write #:)

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sword-brainrot · 3 years ago

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Oh, um! May I request a matchup? I know these can be draining to do so feel free to skip me if you want!!

So, um hi! Im a 19 yo translation student! Everyone uses she/her when talking to me, but you can use whatever you like, I dont mind pronouns! Im really shy and kinda anxious when talking to people, but I'm completely see-through ;; cant tell a lie to save my life haha Im super curious abt practically anything and I love to learn new things! When I have to get work done, I make sure it looks shiny and perfect! (even tough I procastinate on it until there's almost no time left,,,,) I prefer indoors because loud sounds make me somewhat panicky??;;;; and in my free time I play games, learn useless stuff and sleep... y'know, the usual ^^;

As for what I'd like in a parter.... I want someone who cares about me ;; I know it may be a bit too much but I guess I can dream right? :') As for myself,,,, idk id be a completely mess ;; Im good at listening I think! but when it comes to affection Im at a loss and I just get embarrassed,,,, I blush at everything and when Im put in a spot I try to laugh it off ;;

Um, also... Im sure you already noticed but I have some self issues so you may want to take this into consideration???? maybe???? Im sorry I had to bring this up;;; i tought it could help you get a better picture of myself haha???? uuu;; (um also i apologize for this huge wall of text, i know its all over the place.... dont know how to organize it;;;;)

Oh, and I don't care about sword types nor I have a preference! I love all the slashy boys equally ♡

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate it 💖💖

Oh I would never skip your request! If I ever get drained, I would take a small break. I wanna do your requests dear! Feel free to request as much as you want, I have a blast whenever I can write and make someone smile because of it. Don't worry about bothering me or anything, seeing requests always makes me smile and excited to write 💖🌺

I Match You With...

🌸 Ishikirimaru 🌸

♡ Ishikirimaru is a very calm and friendly guy, he would understand very well how scary social interaction can be for some people. He would never push you too far and make sure he knows your limits. He would offer you to have tea with him or help him clean just so you both can bond together and let you know what he does want to be around you. He doesn't mind if you don't talk much because you are shy! Ishikirimaru doesn't talk too much in general but doesn't mind starting the conversation and having a short discussion about things that may interest you or your thoughts on things.

♡ Don't worry about ever making him angry or annoyed, it is very hard to do that. He is very easy going and cares a lot about other people. The only way he would ever get actually angry at you is if you say something insensitive about how people's lives in war don't matter or something along those lines. He was a sword kept in a temple that often got prayed to for healing the warriors who came back from battle with deadly wounds. That is the only thing that would actually get under his skin. He cares a lot about the people around him and even the people he doesn't know, he prays for all of their well beings. Even yours. He cares about you a lot as well and will tell you often that you matter to everyone. He is aware that you would never say something to upset him on purpose. As long as the two of you talk it out and apologize to each other, he will forget it even happened. He wouldn't let one slip of the tongue to ruin the relationship.

♡ He tries hard to make sure he never upsets anyone and thinks over his words carefully, but even he makes mistakes and words don't come out how they planned. He will make the most effort to apologize and make sure his words didn't hurt you badly. If they did, he would spend hours on end talking it out and making sure you know that he would never mean anything that would hurt you. He cares about you a lot and your smile is his favorite.

♡ Ishikirimaru might be a little pushy when you talk badly about yourself. He loves everything about you and it hurts him when you think you are lesser than everyone. He will often try to stop you before you go too far with talking down upon yourself and give you plenty of compliments, even if they embarrass you. He wants you to know that you are deserving of love and that you are much better than you give yourself credit for. You have your own talents and people cherish you for being you. They want you in their life because you are you.

♡ "Aruji, I haven't been human long but I understand that being human is a complicated task. The mind can be a cruel one and the deadliest thing to our souls. My words may not mean much but please trust me when I say that you like you for you. You will see things you do not like about yourself because you are stuck with yourself constantly so you will pick up things that others will not. We are all hard on ourselves. Life is even worse on us. So take a deep breath and let yourself receive a little kindness. You deserve it. You give out so much to everyone so you need to know that it is okay to love things about yourself and be proud of who you are. You will make mistakes and not everyone will be your friend but that is okay, because you are human and you have your own life. Surround yourself with people that will love and appreciate you for who you are now. I love and appreciate you for who you are, aruji. So.. Don't be so hard on yourself, alright? It hurts my fragile heart when I see you beat yourself up for small mistakes. It's okay to stumble at times, just get up again... okay? I'll lend you my hand as well."

♡ As you can tell, Ishikirimaru is a very good listener. His whole life as a sword was to listen to those of the pained and give guidance. Even if he couldn't exactly do that in his sword form, he can do that now! He will listen to everything you have to say. Don't be shy to ramble to him. He will give you a happy smile as he listens. Tell him about the things that make you happy, what make you angry, what makes you laugh, and what makes you sad. Ishikirimaru will be right by your side, offering tea and a shoulder if you need it. You aren't alone and he will make sure you know that you don't have to face these thoughts alone.

♡ Just as how you are see through and can't lie, Ishikirimaru has a similar issue. He has a very hard time ever lying and chooses to never lie. The only time he will lie is if it is to protect others. He will often put himself in the painful position in missions so others don't have to face the hardship. He tries to not do it often because he knows that people care about him and he doesn't have to face things alone, but he would rather not see anyone sad if he can help it!

♡ He finds your embarrassed face the cutest thing in the world. Don't be scared to tell him to stop if the compliments become too much for you to handle! He will laugh it off and apologize for going too far with his comments. As stated above, he doesn't lie. So just know that every compliment he gives you is a very sincere comment that he means with his whole heart. Ishikirimaru doesn't need much affection, as long as you show that you simply care about him, he is happy. He would like to hold your hand from time to time but otherwise, he wouldn't force you to do anything you don't wish to do. Go at your own pace in the relationship, he won't rush you!

♡ Ishikirimaru will tell you anything you wish to learn! He might not have a library of knowledge of the past due to being stuck in a shrine for most of his life but he had also studied and learned about the history he came from. If you take an interest in his prayers and religion, he would gladly tell you all the tales he is aware of and teach you the cleansing sermon he often does to give positive spiritual energy. It is something that brings him peace of mind and makes him happy to talk about, so if you are willing to learn about what makes him who he is today and what makes him happy, he would be overjoyed to share all his knowledge to you.

♡ He understands very well the appeal of getting work done to the best of your ability and making it look the best you can. He wouldn't label himself a perfectionist but he does want to do the best he can. Often with cleaning. You will often see him stuck in a room all day because he wants to make sure it is spotless before he comes out and continues work else where. Though... by the time he is done... It is dinner time. Perhaps the two of you could work together and get work done to the point you are both happy with it.

♡ Ishikirimaru is also someone who happens to stay inside for the most part. The only time he goes outside would be to enjoy tea in the sun or if he has to work the field/horse keeping. Ishikirimaru is a very soft spoken and gentle man so you don't have to worry about him every raising his voice and scaring you. If there is ever a loud noise, whether it is other swords or a storm outside, he will gently hold your hand and try to calm you down. He will assure you that it's okay to not like loud noises but he will make sure that nothing hurts you. He will even try to lead you away to somewhere that may be a little more quiet. Giving you a distraction to get your mind off the noise. He wants nothing more than you to feel comfortable and safe.

♡ Depending on the game, he may want to play with you! He tends to like card games even though he is very easy to read and often loses. He tends to laugh about it after when he realizes that he was accidentally showing his hand every time he set down his cards to get a sip of tea. If it's video games, he would prefer to just watch you play and talk to you while you enjoy the game. He isn't the biggest fan but still enjoys to watch! Ishikirimaru is a pretty good teacher! So if you wish to study with him, he would be flattered that you wished to study with him out of everyone. He is very understanding that some material is hard to memorize out of no where. He would just softly correct you and tell you to work on it a little more. He rewards you with sweets every time you do really well on any test he gives you to test how much you remember.

♡ Ishikirimaru would be the most understanding and gentle partner. He wants nothing more than you being comfortable and happy. He would work hard on you slowly forgiving yourself when you make a mistake and love yourself a little more. He would never give up on you and be there if you ever needed.

#Matchups #Touken Ranbu #Touken Danshi #Tourabu #Touken Ranbu Headcanons #Touken Ranbu Imagines #Touken Ranbu x Reader #TKRB #TKRB Headcanons #TKRB Imagines #TKRB x Reader #Ishikirimaru #Ishikirimaru x Reader

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amazingdriverfics · 4 years ago

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hii, can i request a fic where reader is sackler’s gf and she constantly worried that adam still has feelings for Jessa/Hannah and he always reassures her. But after coming early from a trip to surprise him with a gift (an expensive watch with their anniversary and initials engraved at the back) she catches him making out with Jessa/Hannah in their apartment? Sad ending please, but with a time skip of reader moving on and meeting (cross over moment) with another Adam driver character? Thank you!

A/N: Hey love, I hope you are doing fine. I know this took me a while (just like everything lately), but I wrote this with much love. Two of my favorite characters are in here and so I hope that you can feel the double of love, although Sackler will fuck things up…

Anyway, hope you like it. Sending you love.

Warnings: bi reader (just a mention), alcoholism, addiction, mention to toxic relationships and cheating.

My masterlist

When you met Adam Sackler you should have known better, you really should, but you saw so much of yourself in him and you wanted to help him so very much that you were blinded.

You first met him in a AA meeting, he was clearly devastated and as he spoke about his last relationship, it felt like you heard your own story from a couple of years ago coming off his mouth and it was like a light had surfaced inside of you and you just knew you had to find a way to help the man.

As soon as the meeting was over you made your way to the huge figure, confident that this would do you just as good as it would do to him. And so as he drank water by the door you got closer, gently calling his name.

Even though when he turned your way you were quickly astonished by how pretty Adam was, your intention at first had nothing to do with romance, you just wanted to be there for him.

You talked to him for a bit about your last relationship with a girl name Heather and how just, as he had said in the meeting, you were super unhealthy to each other, how it was super intense and no matter how much both of you loved one another, how nothing could make things work and how in the last of the relationship it felt like the only thing keeping you both together was the fear of being by yourself. You even told the unknown man how you had started to drink again after things ended until you decided to go back to the meetings.

As you finished the long introduction you invited him for dinner in a place nearby which made your favorite burgers in the area.

The dinner was nice, you got to know him and his story better, how the addiction started in a young age and that he soon realized that he needed to do something about it, how he had been jumping from one unhealthy relationship to another, how he had been struggling to sobriety since things ended between him and his ex-girlfriend named Jessa and how he felt so completely alone.

With every word he spoke, the more you saw yourself in him and, therefore, the more you convinced yourself that you could definitely avoid that the man had to go through all the terrible situations you had after things ended with Heather.

From there, your friendship evolved quite quickly, Adam was truly a lonely person and you made the effort to go and meet him whenever he asked you to. Hanging out with the man was fun, although he was a little bit of a weirdo and sometimes did some questionable things, you really enjoyed his company.

The real problem was that, after a couple of months being kind of his rock, your feelings started to get in the way of things and you knew that if you made a move you could ruin everything you had built with Sackler. You were completely aware that getting over a relationship like that took a lot of time and suffering and that he was nowhere near the stage in which he was able to date someone else and so you buried your feelings, telling yourself that they would eventually go away.

They didn’t.

Although you never admitted to yourself that your feelings had gone nowhere, they were constantly proving it to you. It was obvious whenever he stood too close to you and your heartbeat fastened, whenever he smiled and you found yourself smiling too just because seeing him happy made you just as happy, whenever you tried to make out with someone else and you just couldn’t bring yourself to really enjoy it and, mostly, whenever you cried alone in your bed because you knew that there was nothing you could do to get him to be with you.

Or so you thought.

Things really reached a turning point when Sackler stopped treating you just like a friend and he started to shamelessly flirt with you whenever and wherever he possibly could - sometimes he would say things so dirty that you felt your cheeks heating up -.

When he made the first move then it felt like you had gone to heaven. You were in his kitchen getting some water since it was super hot in New York and you felt like you would melt in the floor at any minute. You were so hypnotized trying to get your body temperature down that you didn’t even notice Adam sneaking behind you until you felt his bare chest touching your back.

In that moment, you were completely frozen, hyper aware of every inch of his skin that touched yours, but you didn’t know what to do, it truly felt like a dream coming to life. When his lips finally touched yours you thought that if you died in that moment, you would die a happy person, as things progressed and he went down on you, you were sure.

After that, things progressed slowly and you were actually the one to decide that it was the right pace to follow.

Even though you wished that his heart was all yours, you knew that a part of it still belonged to Jessa and knowing that ignoring that fact would just hurt you, you asked him to let things go on as they should, not hurrying anything. He tried to convince you to do otherwise, saying that Jessa was the past and you were the present and future, but you knew better.

At least until then.

The problem with addiction is that some are more obvious like being addicted to drugs or alcohol, you and the people around you tend to notice it kind of quickly, but when you get addicted to someone, things can go a long way before you do anything about it and maybe then it is already too late.

Therefore, you didn’t notice how addicted you were to Adam Sackler until you were crying your way out of the apartment you shared almost two years later.

What at first was something you felt as completely normal didn’t take long to become an insecurity.

Little by little, your world started to be all about Adam, you thought of him through most of your day, you dreamt about him almost everyday and whenever you could be with him, you would be. And so, with the progress of the relationship the thought that he might not feel so intensely for you started to haunt you a lot and it was usually followed by a voice telling you that he would never get over Jessa because you would never be as good as her.

And although you knew rationally that you were way better to him than her and the constant reassurance Sackler gave you, something inside of you could never let it go.

Of course you trusted him and you knew that he loved you back, in his own way he would always make it clear to you about how much you meant to him. He would take you for a run, walk you somewhere, hold you through some crisis and spend a whole day with you in bed if you just asked him to.

Things were really great, you spent a whole year without any major problems before you and him decided to move in together and for a while it was really good for your insecurity, because he would constantly remind you that you were enough for him and that he would never trade what you two had and how you made him feel, but as his work started to demand for him to travel to perform the insecurity kept making its way back in.

Hell broke loose two days before his birthday. You had traveled to Seattle for a family thing and you came back sooner as soon as you found out that the rolex watch you bought for him with both of your initials and anniversary engraved on it - after saving money for months - was ready. You figured that it would be nice to surprise him with the watch before and so you reschedule the flight.

You were so excited on your way back to him that you could barely stop smiling, you couldn’t stop picturing his perfect face when he saw the gift and just the thought made you tear up a bit from sheer happiness.

You didn’t suspect anything, not even as you got near the door listening to some strange noises, you were too much in your head, too excited to think about anything else other than opening that stupid door and kissing him deeply before surprising him.

As the door opened finally, the one to truly surprise the other one was Adam.

He had his eyes closed and his mouth attached to someone with long blond hair which was in his lap, her legs straddling him as her pelvis moved on top of his.

You were totally shocked, not a noise left your mouth and the only sound that announced your present to your boyfriend and his guest was the sound of the package holding the most expensive thing you had ever bought someone hit the ground. You watched as she jumped out of his lap and his guilty eyes met yours, but you could only focus on her face as you remembered the picture he had shown you years ago in the burger place, it was Jessa.

“y/n” you heard his deep voice, but you just couldn’t move as the tears streamed down your face and you kept looking at her.

Adam repeated your name getting closer and taking his hand to your wrist, the touch waking you up. You took your eyes off of her and turned to him, the hurt in you becoming too much. There was nothing that he could do or say to fix the situation and you had nothing to say to him.

With trembling hands you got off his touch and grabbed the present on the floor, handling it to him before saying ‘happy birthday’ and leaving the place. You could get your things some other day.

——————————————————————————

You weren’t going to lie, it felt almost like a part of you had died that night and you had almost gone back to drinking once again, but eventually things got better.

You started to go to therapy, you finally opened a cafeteria and bookstore like you had always dreamt and after you got your things off of his apartment, you never saw Adam again.

The first time you thought of dating once again was when you saw a tall man, with medium length black hair and a pretty face in your store. He walked in holding hands with his son and as you watched him talk so sweetly to the boy, your heart warmed up a bit.

After that day he started coming more and more, sometimes with his Henry, as Charlie had told you the little boy was called, and sometimes without him whenever he was with his mother.

The first time he had shown interest in you was when he told you that his theater company was on the other side of the street and that he could never say no to a good cup of coffee, a good book and a good company causing you to blush right away. And he kept his word, there wasn’t a day where he wouldn’t pass by, even if it was just for 5 minutes.

Two months after coming to the shop for the first time, Charlie finally asked you out on a date and as you said yes, you couldn’t help feeling that he might just be the one.

#adam driver #adam sackler #angst with a happy ending #adam sackler x y/n #adam sackler x you #adam sackler x reader #adam sackler/you #adam sackler/reader #charlie barber/you #charlie barber/reader #request #kylosbitch

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