#I wish I had a dad like marcus

[hoperays-song]

hi hi!

what's your favorite Marcus headcanon you have? 🫶🏼

Hi!!! My favourite Marcus headcanon I have? There’s so many! But I have a top three for sure!

Marcus sometimes calls Johnny a variation of his wife’s nickname for him, John-Song. He starts doing this a lot more after Sing 1 and Johnny secretly loves it (though he complains to his dad about not being a little kid anymore).

Marcus does complain that his older brother Lucien named his son Lucas because “his ego is undying”. Meanwhile, Johnny likes to point out that his middle name is quite literally Demarcus so his dad can’t really say anything. Marcus will forever argue that that was his mum’s idea and he had no part it it but his son still teases him relentlessly about it.

The only things Marcus knows how to cook are his late wife’s favourite foods. He started learning once she started getting really sick so she could still eat things she liked (since she physically couldn’t cook anymore). Because of this, for months after she died, Marcus and Johnny lived on take out and fast food because it it was too painful for him to cook since he associated it with her. It wasn’t until Barry started cooking small things for Johnny after school that the kitchen was even used again.

Thank you so much for your ask and I hope you enjoyed!! <3

[punkshort]

In Another Life | Part II

Pairing: Marcus Acacius x f!reader (time travel au)

Chapter Summary: Danny unexpectedly drops Marcus off at your office, but it works to your advantage when you decide to use him as the subject for your next article, and your research brings the two of you much closer together.

Chapter Warnings: language, typical brother embarrassing his sister, threats of physical violence, a little fist fight, some blood from said fist fight, mention of drugs, jealousy, food consumption, fluff, flirting, sexual tension, smut (18+ MDNI), unprotected piv sex, fingering

WC: 8.4K

Series Masterlist

Your apartment had devolved into utter chaos the last two days. It seemed like every time you rounded a corner, you had to dodge some person or scrap of metal or power tool, and it was getting on your last nerve. New York wasn't exactly known for spacious living arrangements as it was, so to have what little space you did covet overrun with your brother's shit really sent you into overdrive.

"Lizard's mom has a house in Queens, why the hell is all this shit here and not in her basement?" you snapped at Danny early one morning after you stubbed your toe on a drill.

"He's worried about her finding out what we're up to," Danny explained, and you immediately scoffed into your coffee.

"She's deaf in one ear and hasn't stepped foot in her basement since his dad died."

Danny agreed to move his time traveling project to Queens later that day.

The scowl on your face smoothed out the moment Marcus entered your kitchen, rubbing sleep from his eyes and looking absolutely devastating in the pajama pants you had bought for him just a few days prior. It took all your willpower not to let your eyes drop below his waist, having already made that mistake the day before. The noticeable bulge hidden amongst the thin sleepwear had you spacing out the entire train ride to work and you couldn't afford any distractions that day. You had a big meeting at eleven where you had to present the next topic for your column and you were scrambling. The source you had for your long-distance relationship idea fell through last minute, so now you were tasked with brainstorming a spectacular backup plan in the next four hours.

"Morning, General. How did you sleep?" Danny asked as he scooped cereal into his mouth.

"Quite well, thank you," he replied, then his eyes met yours and he smiled. "Good morning, my lady."

You grinned like a school girl, your heart fluttering excitedly in your chest when you stammered, "G-good morning." Danny rolled his eyes but chose wisely to keep his mouth shut.

Marcus was able to find his way around by that point, however he still seemed hesitant to just start opening your drawers and cupboards when he needed something. Tired of reminding him to just help himself, you set down your coffee and picked up your loaf of bread from the corner of the counter.

"Same as yesterday?" you asked him as you popped two slices of bread in the toaster, anticipating his answer.

"Please," he said with a grateful nod, then dutifully clasped his hands at his waist.

When Danny watched you crack some eggs into a frying pan along with a few sausage links, his jaw dropped.

"You're making breakfast for him but not for me?" he whined.

You swiveled around and pointed your spatula in his face. "He is our guest, thanks to you," you reminded him, and Danny quickly shut up.

"I do not wish to be a burden," Marcus said. He hadn't moved but his broad frame felt like it took up the entire room.

"You're not a burden, Marcus," you told him softly, then gave him a small, reassuring smile.

"Yeah, no worries, man," Danny said, clapping him firmly on the shoulder before dumping his dirty dishes in the sink. "I'm just giving my sister a hard time because it's obvious she wants to jump your bones."

"Danny!" you shrieked while throwing an oven mitt at his head. He dodged it and ducked out of the kitchen, his laughter fading down the hall towards his bedroom.

Your cheeks felt like they were on fire as you turned your focus back to the frying pan. When Marcus cleared his throat, you closed your eyes in dread because you knew what was coming.

"What did that mean, jump your bones?"

"Nothing, just ignore him," you said, sliding the eggs and sausage onto a plate. A few seconds passed when Danny's voice shouted down the hall, "It's a euphemism for sex!"

"Goddamnit," you muttered through clenched teeth. You began to storm out of the kitchen, prepared to kick Danny's ass, but Marcus shot an arm out to stop you.

"You look lovely today."

You gazed up at him, mouth agape, while you tried to find your voice.

Say something. Anything.

"Thanks. Uh, thank you," you mumbled, smoothing down the pink and white floral dress you picked out. On days where you had your big monthly meeting, you tried to make an effort to look like you belonged at a fashion magazine.

"Do you have plans today?" he asked, his eyes swooping down your frame appreciatively, and for once it didn't make your stomach turn when a man looked at you that way. "Daniel tells me there is a beautiful park in the city. I desire to see it and would very much enjoy your company."

You knew you were reading too much into it, but you couldn't help but feel like he was asking you on a date.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Marcus," you said, "I have to work today. But I promise we will see it before you go home."

Home.

His face fell at the word and he quickly dropped his gaze to the floor, trying to hide his disappointment.

"Of course, I understand. Thank you for breakfast," he said, sliding past you so he could pick up the plate you made for him. You chewed your lip and glanced at the time. If it were any other day, you would just call in sick, but today was too important to miss.

"I promise, okay?" you told him as you gathered your bags. "We will see Central Park before you leave. And whatever else you want."

He nodded and took a bite of his food. Although he appeared to be unbothered, you still felt an enormous amount of guilt.

"Danny!" you called from the front door, "this shit better be gone by the time I get home!"

"Yes, Mom!" he shouted back sarcastically from the bathroom. You rolled your eyes and gave Marcus a quick wave before hurrying out the door.

You were fucked.

You had one hour until your meeting and you had absolutely nothing.

Already, you had done your usual brainstorming techniques five times over. You scrolled through social media, hoping to find some trend or topic that might be popular and garner attention, but you were coming up dry, so you kept circling back to your long distance relationship idea. You had sent out every feeler you could think of, asking any of your usual contacts if they had anyone you could use for a story about your chosen topic, but so far you weren't having any luck.

Suddenly, your phone rang and you lunged for it, hoping it was a lead, then groaned when you saw Danny's contact picture pop up on the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hey..." he began, and you could tell by the tone in his voice that you should brace yourself.

"What did you do?"

He laughed on the other end. "I didn't do anything. Actually, I did do something - I am getting all this stuff out of your place, but there's just one thing."

"Spit it out," you said, your eyes flickering to the time. 45 minutes to go.

"I can't take Marcus with us to Queens. There's no room in Lizard's car."

"So let him stay in the apartment."

"I'm not leaving him all alone in New York City!" he protested. You heard some familiar sounds in the background of the call and you frowned.

"Where are you?"

Danny paused and you instantly began to put your defenses up.

"I'm... in your lobby. With Marcus and Lizard."

"You're what?!" you exclaimed in a loud whisper, glancing around to make sure nobody overheard you in your cubical.

"I told to him to just stay in the lobby and read your crappy magazines and if anyone asks, to tell them he's here for meeting."

"Danny! You can't do this, I can't babysit a fucking Roman General right now!"

You heard Danny walk a few paces away, presumably to get some privacy so Marcus wouldn't overhear, before he answered.

"He'll stay downstairs, I promise. I told him what floor you're on in case of an emergency but maybe you can pop down and take him for lunch. You've been making heart eyes at this Roman General for the past three days, don't try and lie."

Anger coursed through your veins but you were running out of precious time, so you gave up.

"Fine," you seethed.

"Great!" Danny said cheerily. "But I might not be back til late. We're burning tons of time moving all this stuff, we got work to do."

"So I have to bring him home?"

"Yes, you'll have to bring him home. You're going there anyway, aren't you? What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is he's going to be bored and lonely all day down there!" you snapped.

"He's not going to be bored. He's in New York City. The elevators alone are blowing his mind right now."

Despite yourself, you smiled when you remembered how in awe he was the first time he rode in an elevator.

"Tell him I'll be down to take him to lunch in like, a little over an hour. I have a meeting at eleven."

"You're the best!" Danny said, then before you could respond, the line went dead.

You grumbled obscenities under your breath when you heard a familiar voice say your name from the opening of your cube.

"Hey, ready for the meeting?" Matt asked. You practically dropped your phone from his sudden appearance and he chuckled. "Did I scare you?"

"Yes," you hissed as you began to gather your things, trying to hide your annoyance. You looked over the top of your cubical wall, hoping and praying you would see someone - anyone - else to walk with to the conference room, but you were shit out of luck.

"Doing anything fun tonight?" he inevitably asked, like he always did, and you sighed. You made the mistake of hooking up with him after one particularly rowdy work happy hour and ever since then, Matt's been waiting for his next opportunity. "I know a guy who works at that new French restaurant, I can get us a reservation and then, who knows..."

"I have a friend in from out of town," was all you said. No matter how many times you turned him down, he remained persistent.

"That's cool. Girls night, then?"

"My friend's a guy," you quickly corrected him.

Matt stumbled over his feet as you reached the conference room. It was the biggest one on your floor, directly across from the elevator banks. The entire wall was made of glass, floor to ceiling, so you could see through the room to the opposite wall, where there was a fantastic view of the city.

"Oh, like a cousin, or..."

"Nope," you replied, voice clipped so he knew the topic was closed. With a frustrated huff, Matt plopped down next to you and flipped open his portfolio. You gave him a sideways glance, momentarily feeling bad for him. He was by all accounts a good looking guy. He wrote a column for the men's health section and based on his physique, you assumed he practiced what he preached, but sadly his looks is where his good qualities came to an end.

Charlotte, your editor, breezed into the room, her presence enough to make everyone sitting at the long table quiet right down. She ghosted her palm over her perfectly coiffed grey hair and sat her portfolio down in front of her chair at the head of the table. As you got yourself organized, your mind scrambling to come up with a lie about a long distance relationship source, Charlotte placed her phone down delicately next to her leather portfolio, then slowly uncapped the expensive looking pen someone once told you was gifted to her by Marc Jacobs. Everybody watched and waited until she was ready, which was signified by a dainty clearing of her throat and a quick, sweeping glance over the table followed by a curt nod. At that point, the usual routine began.

Without having to be asked, one by one everybody took their turn presenting their idea for the month. Each person's name was listed on the agenda in the order Charlotte wished, and mercifully yours was dead last.

Your anxiety began to spike when Sara, the girl who was before you in nutrition started to wrap up her brief speech about some gluten free lifestyle benefit bullshit.

Keep it short. Keep it vague, and you'll figure it out later. Everyone wants to leave, it's almost lunch.

Then some movement by the elevators caught your eye. Your breathing ceased and you broke out into a cold sweat when you saw Marcus had stepped out of the elevator and was fucking talking to the receptionist. Then you locked eyes when they both turned to look towards the conference room.

"Shit," you whispered.

Matt nudged your ribs and you startled, glancing around the room to see Sara had sat down and half the table was staring at you, waiting for you to begin. You shakily stood up and swallowed the lump in your throat when Marcus began to weave his way towards you through the maze of cubicles.

Call it a stroke of genius or divine inspiration, but an incredible idea hit you right as you opened your mouth to speak. You had about half a second to decide if you should wing it and trust your gut or talk out of your ass about your first idea.

Fuck it.

"This month, I have a very interesting idea that I'm super excited about exploring," you began, watching when Marcus came to a stop outside the glass door. He looked back and forth, his fingers twitching at his sides. "My topic will be Romance without Technology," you announced with a confident smile. "I'll be researching how adults navigate their love lives without the help of dating apps, social media, or even texting," you said, listing each item on your finger as you spoke.

"Who's that guy?" Sara asked, pointing towards the door. It was at that point you realized most of the table was gawking at the tall, broad, handsome looking Roman General waiting to get your attention.

You smiled and walked toward the door with your arm outstretched.

"This is Marcus," you said, holding the door open and ushering him inside. He murmured your name but you cut him off. "He's the subject I'll be interviewing for this month's article. He doesn't use technology of any kind. In fact, he doesn't even own a cell phone."

The entire room gasped and Marcus looked around, confused, but understood what you needed him to do. He raised one arm up to greet the room and said, "Good morning."

Most of the women began to whisper excitedly to one another, shooting him looks and giggling behind their hands until Charlotte cleared her throat and once again, the room fell into silence.

You chewed your lower lip anxiously as you waited for Charlotte to silently appraise you both. Finally, you saw the corner of her mouth twitch and she gave you a barely perceptible nod.

"I look forward to reading it."

She stood abruptly and collected her things, signifying the end of the meeting, and relief flooded your veins.

"Are you okay?" you asked Marcus, pulling him to the side while the room stood and slowly filtered out. He nodded.

"Yes. There were many vehicles that passed by with bright lights and loud sirens. When I asked what it was for, I was told there was an emergency."

You giggled and shook your head. "So the fearsome General was scared?"

His brows knitted together for a moment before he answered.

"No. I grew concerned for your well being."

Your heart could have melted on the spot.

"Oh," you said softly, and just like that, the annoying little flutter in your chest was back. "I-I'm fine, but thank you. That was... that's really sweet, actually."

He grinned as his eyes swooped down your frame, causing butterflies to awaken in your stomach.

"Did you wanna get something to eat?" you asked as you stared up at him, his large frame making you feel so tiny in comparison. "It'll be on the company's dime since I kinda just signed you up to be the subject of my next article."

He cocked an eyebrow at you and shoved his hands into the pockets of his khakis, the action bringing up the memory of you measuring his inseam and you felt your face begin to heat up. God, you must have looked ridiculous, standing there in front of Marcus in the middle of your office, looking up at him with big doe eyes.

"Of course," he replied, "but what do you intend to write about me?"

You grinned and hurried back to your abandoned chair, scooping up your things before pointing to the door.

"Let me drop this stuff off at my desk and I'll explain everything."

"My marriage was arranged," he reminded you from across the table draped in white linen. You decided to take him to a nicer steakhouse not too far from your office, one that didn't enforce a dress code but still had good food that you rarely sprung for out of your own pocket.

"I know, but I'm sure you can still give me an idea of what romance was like," you replied. "For example, did you get her any gifts? Give flowers? Take her to places that were meaningful to you? Or to her?"

Marcus dropped his gaze to the table and shrugged. "We knew each other for such a short period of time, there was unfortunately not much in the way of romance."

You clocked the forlorn look in his eye and began to feel guilty for bringing it up. "I'm sorry. I'll just make something up, don't worry about it. No one'll know."

"No, no, I wish to help," he said quickly, his hand stretching across the table to loop two of his fingers around yours. "Just because I do not have many personal stories to share does not mean I cannot help with your research."

"I don't want to reopen any old wounds," you explained, your eyes fixed on the way his hand linked with yours so naturally on the tabletop.

He chuckled softly, his smile causing his deep brown eyes to sparkle and a dimple to appear on his cheek.

"It was a very long time ago."

When your salads arrived at your table, Marcus released your hand to pick up his fork, frowning down at the bowl before asking, "This is the salad named after Julius Caesar?"

You giggled and shook your head, the sound causing him to lift his chin with a warm smile.

"No," you said once you collected yourself, "No, it's named after another Caesar. The guy who created it, I think."

Marcus didn't seem to mind he was wrong or that you found his error so funny. In fact, he enjoyed it.

"You have a beautiful laugh."

Instantly, your cheeks flushed and you shyly looked down to focus on your salad. "Thank you," you said softly.

He watched you silently for another minute more, admiring the way your eyes fluttered shut when you tasted something good or tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, then took a hesitant bite of his salad.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise and you grinned from behind your napkin.

"Delicious."

You giggled again and nodded. "Yes, it is."

Once your salads were taken away and before your main course arrived, you pulled out a notebook and flipped to a blank page.

"Let's start from the beginning. You don't have to go into excruciating detail. Maybe just some things you know of that others did to... court women? Is that even the right word?" you mumbled the last part to yourself as you scribbled something at the top of your paper.

"It was seen as a sign of weakness for a man to become infatuated with a woman," he said, and you looked up at him in surprise.

"Why's that?"

"Marriages rarely were based on affection. They were viewed as a way to improve your social standing, but it was mutually beneficial," he explained, his finger tracing the design engrained in his fork. "Women were taken care of, looked after and tended to while the men were able to claim a high ranking senator or nobleman as their family. And, of course..." he trailed off, his cheeks staining pink when he dropped his gaze to the table and said, "received the traditional benefits of having a wife."

You smirked to yourself as you wrote notes on your pad of paper.

"Thought you were used to talking about sex openly," you teased. He cleared his throat and your pen paused over your paper to meet his eye.

"I admit, at times I feel nervous around you."

"Me?" you balked, but he just nodded and your brain scrambled for something to say that wouldn't entirely embarrass you. You landed on deflection.

"I thought it was a sign of weakness to grow infatuated?"

He grinned and leaned back in his chair. "I never said I agreed with that line of thought."

"No, I suppose you didn't," you said, shyly dropping your eyes to your paper. His gaze was too intense. Every time you looked at him it felt like he could see right through you. "So, tell me. Hypothetically. If we lived in Rome and I caught your eye, what would you do? How would you win me over?"

Marcus took a deep breath, his broad shoulders relaxing as he thought about your question for a moment, staring at your pen hovering over your paper.

"I would write you letters every day," he said softly, forcing your eyes back onto him. His voice was low and deep, smooth yet firm as he spoke. "I would write of your beauty. I would compare the color of your eyes to the flowers and fauna that grew in my garden, delicate and all encompassing. I would tell you how food tastes better on my tongue when you are around, and how I ache for you when you are not near. I would try to explain how difficult it is to breathe without you, and how I would gladly die a thousand deaths just to feel the softness of your lips against mine."

You stared at him, hand frozen where you left it resting on your notebook. He waited patiently until you finally blinked yourself out of your stupor and inhaled a shaky breath.

"Uh, s-so love letters, then," you stammered, shakily scribbling down something incoherent on your paper. Jesus fucking Christ, get it together.

"Yes. Love letters," he repeated. He sounded so cool and collected. How was he so relaxed? A moment ago, he was admitting you made him nervous. Maybe he was just better at hiding it than you.

Your server arrived and placed your food down in front of you, the heavenly scent wafting up and making your mouth water. Placing your pen down in favor of picking up your fork and knife, you asked, "Have you ever had steak?"

"I am not sure. What animal is it?" he asked, picking up his fork and testing the tenderness of his steak by giving it a little poke.

"It's cow. Try it, it's good."

"Cows were used for farming," he said before slicing a piece off and examining it closely. "We could not afford to slaughter them."

You watched as he popped a bite into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully before giving you a smile and nod.

"Good?" you asked, your heart skipping a beat at finding another food he liked.

"Very," he replied once he swallowed. "You are quite perceptive and have good taste."

"Thank you," you answered, taking another bite and trying not to preen too much from the praise.

"So tell me," he said after he finished up his filet and moved on to his potato, which he eyed wearily. "Do you not receive love letters as a form of courtship?"

"Uh, no," you replied with a laugh. "Closest thing to that nowadays would be a text and even those are... sub par."

"So what is it that you do?"

"What do you mean?"

He pointed to your notepad with his fork. "For romance. What activities do you take part in?"

"Oh," you said, wiping your mouth and pushing your empty plate to the side. "You mean dates. Uh, this actually. Get dinner together. Sometimes see a movie," you paused and rethought your word choice when you saw his face. "A show, or a play. Um, sometimes go to a bar. Stuff like that."

He nodded and let your answer roll around in his head for a moment before asking, "So, is this a date?"

Marcus smiled when he saw you become flustered. You thanked the server for clearing your plates and leaving the bill before responding.

"Uh, I don't know," you finally said shyly, making his smile grow even wider. "Do you want - I mean, well... I'm technically working, but, you know, if - if that was something you were interested in, then, I guess w-we could classify this, or, you know, it could be construed-"

"Yes or no," he said, interrupting your insane ramblings with a soft look and an outstretched hand. Your face was hot with embarrassment but you reached out for his hand, anyway.

"Yes."

"Yes," he repeated, squeezing your fingers. You grinned and nodded, your stomach doing cartwheels as you tried to steady your breath.

Once you paid with your corporate credit card, you walked back out to the street, Marcus holding the doors open for you before offering you his hand. You sheepishly accepted it and walked a few paces in the direction of your office before he stopped you.

"Must you return to work?"

You gave him a sad smile and took a step closer. "Yeah, I'm sorry. But maybe I can play hooky tomorrow."

Marcus raised a curious eyebrow at you while playing with the material of your dress with his free hand, gently pinching and feeling the fabric between his fingers. "What does-"

"It means I'll call in sick without actually being sick so I can have the day off," you explained without him needing to finish asking.

He grinned and dropped your dress in favor of cupping your cheek. "I would like that very much."

"Me, too," you said, gazing up at him while leaning into his touch. His strong, calloused hand felt rough against your skin, but you liked it. As if reading your mind, he stroked his thumb over your cheekbone and murmured, "You are so soft."

You hummed, not trusting yourself to speak when you watched him slowly lean down to your level, your eyes fluttering shut as you waited to feel his mouth against yours. But just when his shadow got close enough to block the sun behind your eyelids, you heard someone shout your name.

You swiveled around angrily, your hand still laced together with Marcus's as you looked for the person who interrupted one of the more romantic moments of your life.

And then you saw Matt stalking up to you from the direction of the restaurant.

"Is this why you've been ghosting me?"

You frowned and tilted your head. "What?"

Matt came to a stop in front of you both and jutted his chin towards Marcus. "Too busy sleeping with your profiles to hang out?"

"W-what?" you stammered again, too shocked to fight back with your usual vigor. You felt Marcus stiffen next to you. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he immediately sensed your discomfort. "I'm not - this isn't-"

"Oh, sure," he sneered, crossing his arms, his biceps bulging out of his thin dress shirt. "I saw you two in there. You were three seconds away from crawling into his lap."

Your mouth hung open in shock and humiliation. "Were you following me?"

Before Matt could answer, Marcus took a step forward.

"I am going to have to insist you stop yelling," he seethed, and even though Matt followed his own advice in his articles and worked out plenty, Marcus still towered over him.

Matt's eyes went wide for just a moment before his bravado returned. "C'mon, man. She's just using you, don't you see that?" Matt prodded, then he scoffed. "Unless you're good with it. Then by all means, have fun. She's a good fuck but I don't think she's got much else."

It all happened so fast, you couldn't remember Marcus dropping your hand and cocking his fist. You couldn't remember the first sickening crunch of his knuckles against Matt's nose, but you did remember hearing his pained howl.

Marcus only landed a few more blows before you came to your senses and tugged him by the shoulder. It was laughable to think you would be strong enough to move him, but you must have also said something because Marcus immediately stopped and turned back to you.

"Jesus Christ!" you cried shakily, hands trembling as they hovered in the air. You weren't sure what to do and people were staring as they walked by, driving up your anxiety. Marcus was fine except for his skinned knuckles, but Matt was much worse. He had a busted lip and already a bright blue shiner forming on his cheekbone, and when he stood to face you both, you noticed another cut on the other cheek.

"The fuck is wrong with you!" he spat, blood dripping down his chin.

"Mind how you speak to women and perhaps they will wish to spare you their time," Marcus snarled. Matt turned his attention to you, the pad of his thumb swiping against his lower lip.

"Who is this guy? What the fuck is his deal?"

You took a deep breath, your mind settling and your fortitude returning.

"If you had just backed off when I said no the first dozen times, maybe you didn't have to find out!"

"Oh, come off it. You like the chase. You get off on guys trailing after you-"

"You're the only fucking one, Matt!" you yelled, no longer caring who was looking. "We hooked up once, years ago, and you just can't take the hint! I'm not interested!"

His eyes clouded with disbelief as he propped his hands on his hips and shifted his weight to one foot, standing there as if he were somehow new to being shot down.

"I'm telling Charlotte about this. About your little..." he trailed off and gestured vaguely over your shoulder, "guard dog. I'm sure she will love to hear about one of your profiles assaulting an employee."

You crossed your arms defiantly and made a face. "Oh, yeah? Do that and I'll recommend to HR they give you a drug test."

His face paled for a moment but he tried to hide it. "Drugs? I'm not on drugs."

"Oh, so you're telling me your balls are just naturally that shriveled up and small? Because, shit," you laughed, "if it's not steroids, you might want to see a doctor about that. That's not normal."

Matt swallowed tightly and clamped his mouth shut. You smiled and turned around to Marcus, who had been listening to your entire argument and probably understanding less than half of it.

"Let's go."

You tugged on his arm and he obediently followed, leaving Matt to lick his wounds.

"Your work - the building is the other way."

"I know," you said, raising your arm to hail a cab. "I'll figure something out. We're going home."

Marcus watched as you paced around your kitchen, phone pressed against your ear as you spoke to your boss and faked a sudden illness that included the word cramps. When you finished up, you looked over at him from across the room.

He looked so normal now. Sure, he spoke a little strangely but without his tunic, clad in khakis and a polo shirt, he looked like he fit right in. Like he always belonged right there.

"I don't think I even thanked you," you said. Marcus smiled and shrugged.

"No need."

He was so damn adorable, it was killing you. "I've never met anyone like you before," you confessed, leaning a hip against the edge of your counter.

"In a good way, I hope?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. You giggled and nodded, the sound making his heart soar.

"Yes, in a good way."

He brought his hand up to smooth over his mouth nervously and your stomach dropped.

"Oh, my god! Your hands!" you exclaimed, crossing the room to snatch one of his massive hands within both of yours.

"It is alright, there is no-"

"Come on, let me clean up your knuckles at least," you said, pulling him towards your tiny bathroom, which somehow felt even smaller when you were both crowding the space. "Sit here," you told him, pointing towards the closed toilet seat, "I have some stuff somewhere," you muttered under your breath as you rifled through the medicine cabinet behind your mirror, then tugged open the drawer in the vanity that always stuck. Marcus did as he was told and watched you with amusement dancing in his eyes.

"Ah ha!" you announced victoriously when you held up a bottle of clear liquid and a box of bandages. He smiled as you washed your hands before meticulously laying everything out you would need. Picking up a cotton ball, you doused it with the liquid and turned to him, having little choice but to stand between his knees and lifting one of his hands to look at it closer.

He splayed his hand out flat, palm pressing against your palm while you carefully dabbed at the dried blood.

"You have laid with that man before?" he asked out of the blue. Your cheeks felt warm when you nodded and avoided his eye.

"A long time ago. It was a mistake."

He didn't say anything else for a few minutes, just watched as you tenderly cared for his broken skin, your proximity and touch overwhelming his senses.

"Did he mistreat you?"

Quickly, you shook your head. "Oh god, no, nothing like that," you told him. "It just... wasn't a good fit."

Marcus couldn't stop staring at the soft slopes of your face and the bright sparkle in your irises, growing infatuated with the way your brow scrunched together in concentration while you worked.

"Did he not worship you?" he asked softly, watching as your breath hitched and you swallowed the lump in your throat.

"Uh, no," you finally said, setting down the cotton ball in favor of a tube with some salve. You squeezed a small dot onto your finger and began to apply it carefully to his knuckles. "Can't say there's been a lot of worshipping happening in my life," you added with a dry chuckle.

"No?"

You shook your head and wiped your finger with a tissue and tried not to let his injured hand that had fallen to your hip distract you.

"No," you whispered, your shaky voice betraying you.

He tsked and brought his other hand up to your hip, slowly splaying his fingers wide and crumpling the fabric of your dress. "Shameful. You deserve to be worshipped."

All of the air rushed from your lungs, your body thrumming with desire. Marcus noticed the fine hairs on your arms raise when goosebumps flashed across your skin and he delicately picked up your hand, flipping it over so he could press a kiss against the inside of your wrist.

His deep brown eyes met yours and with his lips still brushing against your skin, whispered, "Will you allow me to worship you?"

You found yourself nodding before your voice had a chance to catch up with you, then his hands gently cupped your face and pulled you down to his level. The moment your lips finally met, you forgot how to breathe, how to move, how to think. His lips were so unexpectedly soft and tender as they slowly massaged against your own that it sent you into a tailspin.

You pressed your mouth against his with a little more force, the fear that he may just stop at one kiss gripping your throat and driving you forward. He made a soft, surprised noise in the back of his throat when you began to kiss him with more intensity, but he didn't skip a beat. He tightened his hold on your face, fingers dimpling your cheeks and his nose bumping lightly against yours.

Your hands pressed against his chest, then your fingers curled to grip his shirt, wanting to tug him closer, wanting to feel him everywhere but you were still in your stupid fucking tiny bathroom and it was difficult to maneuver. Seemingly anticipating your next move, you felt Marcus stand. Your head tipped back, neck craned upwards at an impossible angle, refusing to break the kiss even for a moment so he began to carefully walk you backwards towards the door. Every step towards your bedroom felt like you were walking deeper and deeper into the sea, drowning in his overwhelming presence and touch.

Marcus's palm slid over your shoulder, down your arm and only stopping when he found your ribs. He wound his arm around you as you both stumbled through your doorway with as little grace as you would expect from two people growing more and more intertwined by the moment.

Once you felt your mattress pressing into the backs of your knees, you released your death grip on his shirt so you could reach behind you and unzip your dress. The cool air washed over your bare skin when it pooled around your feet and suddenly, you felt extremely exposed. What kinds of women was he used to being with? It felt like every day when you went into work you learned something new that men found desirable in women. How could you possibly be expected to keep up in the modern world, let alone with what Marcus might find appealing?

But when his palm reconnected with your middle and he felt your smooth skin under his hand, he grew desperate for more to the point where you could sense it, pushing your insecurities to the back of your mind. His injured hand left your cheek so he could glide both massive hands over the soft swell of your curves, his fingers twitching as he sought out more of your skin but when he came in contact with your bra, his hands stopped.

You could feel his hesitation by the way his lips stalled against yours so you took his hands and wrapped them around your back, wordlessly guiding him to the clasp as your tongue slid inside his mouth.

He figured out the hooks on your bra after only one or two fumbles and it dropped to the floor to join your dress.

"Fuck," he whispered when he finally managed to pull away to admire your nearly naked body. Your eyes widened with surprise.

"I don't think I've heard you curse before."

He inhaled a ragged breath, his eyes still drinking you in when he murmured, "I did not have a reason to before now."

He gently grazed over your breast, barely even touching you while he watched with fascination as your nipple tightened from the brief contact. "You have stirred something within me," he said softly, his eyes and hands continuing to roam. "Something I believed did not exist for a long time."

You leaned into his touch when he cupped your breast, enraptured with how soft you felt under his hand. Your fingers curled around the waistband of his khakis, sliding your nails across his lower stomach, across the coarse hair you very much wished to see while his mouth descended on your throat. His beard tickled the spot below your ear and it sent a shudder down your spine. His lips curved into a smile against your skin at the involuntary movement and he asked, "What else do you like?"

It was becoming difficult to breathe. The way he was so slow and careful yet sure of himself was unlike anything you had ever experienced before with a man. It was making your knees weak and your head swim.

When it took too long for you to answer his question, he lightly pinched your skin between your teeth, causing warmth to bloom just underneath the mark.

"T-touch me," you stammered, your eyes sliding closed and your head tipping back, surrendering yourself completely to his prowess.

His hand slipped down your body, over your stomach and underneath your panties. You gasped sharply when you felt one thick finger part your folds, sliding over your clit and dipping into your entrance, drenching him with your arousal.

"Lay down for me," he whispered in your ear while wrapping his free arm around your back, holding you steady so you didn't collapse from the torture of his singular finger working in and out.

He laid you down carefully in your bed, his hand never losing its rhythm and his mouth still ghosting over your neck and chest.

You whined and bucked your hips under him, fingers getting tangled in his thick curls while he whispered words of adoration into your skin, imprinting himself on you forever.

He could feel you growing rigid, your muscles tense and your exhale coming in short bursts. He brushed his lips over yours at the same time his thumb grazed over your clit, making your jaw drop and a sob erupt from your throat.

"Relax," he murmured, increasing the speed of his wrist while slowly sliding his tongue alongside yours. "Relax and let go for me, cor mea," he said against your mouth.

Your body convulsed beneath him when he brought you to your climax with just one finger. His mouth locked over yours, swallowing down your cries and allowing them to feed his ever growing desire. When you whimpered and lightly pushed his hand away, he withdrew from between your legs but continued to deepen the kiss. It was so sweet and loving that it sent you reeling, wondering how you would ever find satisfaction from another man again after Marcus.

"Take these off," you breathed, tugging on his belt loops. He reared back to sit on his heels while deftly undoing the button and zipper of his khakis, leaving them gaping open at his waist before yanking his polo shirt over his head and tossing it onto the floor. You bit your lip, admiring his bare chest for the first time while he pushed his pants down and kicked them off.

"Christ," you muttered, eyes trailing over his tanned and scarred skin. You reached out and traced a particularly jagged one on his shoulder but he was more focused on ridding you of your underwear. If you ever questioned the validity of his time traveling story, any doubt was erased from your mind when you saw his body.

"Did these hurt?"

He paused and followed your gaze to his marked up torso.

"Some, at the time, yes."

Your expression softened to one of pity as you continued to scan his body, losing count of the shiny, pale scars.

"W-what... how did these..." you trailed off, unable to keep the emotion from your voice. Marcus cupped your cheek and pressed a kiss against your lips.

"It is alright. I have been in many battles. It is my job, and just like yours, I must do it."

You laughed but you didn't really find it funny. "You risk your life every day while I write about best places to take a first date or what to do if you're faking orgasms with your boyfriend. You can't compare the two."

Marcus cocked an eyebrow as he hovered above you. "And do you have much experience faking orgasms?"

You felt your face flush. You knew he was just trying to distract you, but it was working. "Some."

He leaned down and kissed the tip of your nose, then each one of your eyelids before asking, "But not a moment ago?"

You shook your head and raked your fingers through his hair, making him growl at the sensation of your nails across his scalp. While he focused on positioning himself at your opening, you dragged your mouth over his shoulder, tongue dipping to trace over his scar. You couldn't do anything about them now except show them love, something you were realizing Marcus was desperately lacking in his life back home.

Home. The thought entered your brain right when he first pushed inside you, stealing the air from your lungs and bringing tears to your eyes. You did your best to brush it aside and focus on the present, like the way he stretched you open or the soft noise he made when he fully sheathed his heavy length deep within you.

"Fuck," you gasped, clawing at his shoulders while you tried to get your bearings.

He released a groan so guttural and deep it had you squeezing around him. Your mouth found a home on his neck as he slowly began to rock his hips, your lips and teeth leaving temporary marks over his skin to join the scars. Every kiss was slow, every touch was attentive and it was hard to stop yourself from giving into him.

"You - oh," he moaned, eyes sliding shut as he lost himself in the moment. It might have been the first time you'd seen him ever falter, and the thought sent a fresh wave of arousal through you. "You are so soft and beautiful," he mumbled before finding your mouth once again and plunging his tongue past your teeth. "I fear it is almost too much for me to bear," he confessed between kisses.

Marcus was unlike any man you had ever met in so many ways. His vulnerability staggered you. Most men you had known would consider it weak or embarrassing to speak the way he spoke, but Marcus managed to do it without sacrificing an ounce of his raw masculinity.

His broad shoulders and thick arms caged you in, giving you a feeling of safety and security you never felt before with another person. It was always you who had to be strong, who had to figure everything out and be responsible. And for once, with Marcus, it felt like you could let go and not have to worry.

Your body relaxed beneath him, legs spreading even wider to accommodate his powerful thrusts. He pulled an arm out from underneath you to press down on your thigh, pushing it into the mattress next to you in order to open your hips up even more. Then he leaned up just a fraction so he could grind his hips against you with his new found space, drawing a shaky moan from your throat when he came in contact with your clit.

Marcus paid attention. He took note of what you liked, what made you writhe and gasp and he teased you with it until you were begging him for more. He couldn't deny you, so he gave you what you asked. When you whined for him to go faster, he did. When you begged him to touch you, he did. He gave you everything you asked for until your legs trembled and your breath quickened and you were tossing your head back into your pillow, his name on your lips as you fell apart for him.

Then you gazed up at him, eyes smoldering, your lips swollen and parted and looking more beautiful and satisfied than he ever could imagine. Pulling him down to you by the back of his neck, you whispered his name in his ear and he shuddered, his hips faltering for a moment all because of one simple word from your lips.

"Marcus," you whispered again, mouth sucking a bruise into his neck. "Are you going to come for me?"

"Yes," he groaned, his eyes fluttering shut as he neared his peak. A lazy smile spread across your face, body still flooding with pleasure as he fucked you a little harder seeking his own.

His hand fell to your side, pulling you closer, rolling your hips in rhythm with his, and with his teeth bared and eyes flashing with hunger, he came with a broken groan that sent a shiver down your spine. You gasped at the feeling of him emptying himself inside you, eyes squeezing shut in ecstasy. His mouth crashed over yours with your eyes still closed. Your tongues danced together, first with lust, then once your heart rates slowed and your skin stopped tingling, with something more. Something like longing and desperation to hold onto the moment as long as you possibly could.

You both spent a little too long sharing tender kisses and gentle touches. For once, the world around you ceased to make noise and the only thing that mattered was what to order for dinner so you didn't have to leave your bed the rest of the night. You picked Mediterranean food and spent the hour after it was delivered discussing how it compared to the food he was used to, neither of you daring to mention the elephant in the room.

You curled up into his side, his arm draped around you, his back leaning against your headboard as you watched a romantic comedy together. Just as you were explaining the plot and how you had used the movie as inspiration for an article the year prior, a breakthrough was happening in Queens.

The volume on your phone was off and neither of you were paying attention to it lighting up on your nightstand, too busy ignoring the movie in favor of fusing your lips together again with your limbs slowly tangling together under the covers to notice the text come through.

Danny: staying in Queens for the night, we're on a roll. The mighty General shall be out of your hair b4 you know it.

[adelliet]

Marcus Acacius x f!reader

FORBIDDEN DESIRE

Summary: Your father's friend has returned to his hometown after a few years, and you finally met him, but despite your father's clear warning, you are dominated by desire rather than reason.

Warning: MDNI 18+, age gap (17 years and 40 years), unprotected sex (p i v), fingering, oral sex (f! receiving), handjob,

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You came to the kitchen door and waited for the guards to open it. When they did, you gently knelt down as a gratitude and then sidled up to the room. There was a table, full of sweet buns, grape wine and various types of fruit or pastries. On the end of the table sat your mother and father, laughing and drinking liquid from an iron cup. You'd bet all your gold that the liquid is a red wine, that your parents love so much.

As soon as they saw you, all their attention landed on you. You wished them good morning with a smile on your face and put one sweet bun on your plate. "How did you sleep darling?" your father asked with a sweet tone in his voice.

"Good" you answered firmly, but keep trying to stay nice and keep a warm smile on your face. This answer of yours may have been sufficient for your father, but certainly not for your mother. Mother senses are way more powerful than father's, as is known.

"Is everything okay sunshine?" this time your mother asked, bothering you from eating in quiet and peace. You chewed the bun and nod, not even looking at them. You were so focused on your plate that you didn't even have time to look anywhere else.

After your movement, which indicated that everything was supposedly fine, there was a moment of silence. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of cutlery occasionally touching the plate. An awkward silence began to spread through the air very quickly, and even the guards at the door began to chat among themselves.

The silence was suddenly broken by your father's inconspicuous cough, which was followed by a question you prayed you wouldn't hear for at least a day. ,,And what about men?" Did you find anyone that could be your future husband and follow my lead?"

Your lips left a long loud sigh. "Not yet father" this time, your voice was bitterly cold, you were obviously showing how you don't like this topic and how it makes you uncomfortable.

"Darling, you'll be a woman soon, your mother was getting married at your age and look where she is now!" Your father kept trying to cajole you and force you into marriage, but this was the last thing on your mind. "Trapped with a man?" you answered, making your father lost words and your mother's face cringe in anger. "I am not trapped sweetheart-" "Oh really? So you can go whenever you want wherever you want?"

You raised your voice a bit, but just enough to make the atmosphere thick. Your mother started boiling with anger, and you really make it difficult for her to stay calm and in her character. "Young lady, be careful with your words-" and just when your mother wanted to calm things down, you bursted out.

"You think this is what I want?" Live for marriage and forget what freedom feels like? You think I live just for men?!" You got up from your seat and slapped your hands aggressively on the table. "You're a woman!" You will never know what freedom feels like! The only thing you will have is your husband's safety!"

The words came out of your mother's mouth as easily as if she had been preparing for this moment years ago. They were sharp without any sweetness, making you froze in a place, not moving a single muscle. When you looked at your dad, he was just as shocked as you. Your mother still had that angry look on her face as she yelled at you the words that would wake you up from your sleep and haunt you in your worst nightmares.

After a few more seconds, your mom finally realizes what she has done, as she looked over to her husband. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, but before she could say something, one of the guards rushed into the kitchen with a simple words ,,He's here".

Your parents immediately stood up from their seats and looked over to the open door. Your dad looked excited and so did your mom. You were so confused. Who is he and why was his presence so quick to please your mother and father?

There were so many questions running through your head, and like everyone else, you were eagerly looking at the door, waiting to see who would appear. It didn't take long before you finally saw him.

A tall, large man stopped as soon as he got inside. His iron armor clung beautifully to his massive body, and the parts of his skin that could be seen were covered in blood. His hair was black and wavy, looking as fine as sheep's wool. His beard beautifully accentuated his masculine cheekbones and the gray particles only added charm. His look was frowning and stiff until he saw your parents.

At that moment, he raised his eyebrows and the corners of his mouth lifted. He called your father's name, deep husky voice that sends shivers down your spine. He opened his arms and your father ran towards him. They locked arms together and slapped each other on the back.

You just stared at them breathlessly, still unanswered questions drowning in your head. Before long you felt a gentle hand landing on your shoulder. "Marcus..." your mother said quietly as she kept her eyes on them. You looked over to see her calm face. "Best friend of your father..." now this was the answer you wanted to hear.

After the two finally pulled away from each other, the man's eyes landed on you. The smile on his face slowly faded away and he barely blinked. You held eye contact and even though you were standing quite far away from him, you could feel goosebumps rising all over your skin. His brown eyes looked so kind yet hungry at the same time.

"Marcus…" your mother finally stopped you and you looked down, coughing discreetly. Marcus also woke up back on planet earth and greeted your mother with the sweet smile he had before.

"We missed you" your mother said after she pulled away and held his massive strong arms. "You too, my favorite people" he said, looking into your moms face, unlike you, you couldn't take your eyes off Marcus.

It was as if the whole area became silent and everything was blurry, except for him. Your head automatically filled with million scenarios and you had to take a deep breath to breathe in the presence of this warrior. You scan his body and scars, pity began to flow through your body and you wanted to heal his every wound.

After a while your mother finally looked in your direction with Marcus and you froze in place. His gaze made you feel a vibrating feeling between your legs and you couldn't tell if you liked it or not.

"That's our daughter" your father noticed the awkward silence and decided to introduce the two of you. As Marcus made his way over to you, the vibration became more intense and you trembled like a bird. Marcus noticed your nervous attitude so he decided to, to calm you down a bit by grabbing your hand and gently kissing it, looking at you the whole time and honestly turning you on even more.

"My pleasure to finally meet you" he said as he let go of your hand and popped his chest like a proud lion. Finally? What does he mean? You've never heard of this man and you've never seen him, you would definitely remember that.

Marcus noticed your confused expression and immediately looked over to your father for an explanation, but he didn't do anything to explain it to you, he just decided to move on to another topic. As always.

"After all these years," he approached Marcus again, grabbing his strong arms and looking at him proudly. You kind of wish he would look at you like that one day, ,,…we need to throw a welcome soiree!" He screams so loudly, that the echo reverberated throughout the hall to the second tower.

Marcus was just smiling and you could tell it wasn't a sincere smile. Your mother immediately joined in and nodded in agreement. As soon as they finished talking, everyone started decorating the kitchen and making arrangements for meals.

You didn't want to oblige anyone, since you wouldn't be much help anyway, so you just snuck away to your room. When you walked past Marcus, who was having fun with your dad, his smell was indescribable. You've never felt anything like this from a man before. It evoked dominance, lust and respect, a respect that not just anyone deserves, but Marcus does.

As soon as you closed the door behind you and entered your room, the first and only thing you could think of was Marcus. How divine his body must be under all that armor, how strong his hands must be from all that warfare, how his fingers must be trained from his handling of the sword.

Just the image of him makes your legs shake and your stomach felt weird suddenly…weirdly good. You sat on the bed and just stared out the window, thoughts of Marcus still lingering and your imagination was much wilder than before.

You lay down on the bed with a loud groan and closing your eyes, as you bounce a few times on the mattress. You had no idea what was going on, with your head and your body. You couldn't even tell if you like it or not, the only thing you knew one hundred percent was, that these feelings are just because of Marcus.

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There were only a few hours left before the party started. All this time you tried to sleep and run away from all those new and scary feelings, but it still didn't work. You couldn't fall asleep and when you were really close to it, Marcus would always appear in front of you, even with your eyes closed. That's why you just lay there, staring at the ceiling and letting it all eat you up. When the hour finally approached, you were so relieved.

You heard muffled talking from behind the kitchen and decided it was time to leave. You opened your wardrobe and immediately knew what to wear. You've never worn these before, not because you didn't like them, but your father didn't like them and you know very well why.

They are way too revealing, but you think that he wouldn't say anything about them today, he wouldn't want to sink you in front of his best friend, right? With a devilish smile, you placed them on the bed and suddenly heard a knock on the door. You said open in a soft tone, looking at the door. Very slowly they cracked open and there was none other than your dad inside. He carefully closed it behind him and leaned against it.

You could tell by his face that he looked quite worried. You didn't want to anger him even more so you discreetly stood in front of the bed to cover that provocative dress. “Is everything okay father?” you asked, trying to figure out what was going on. He took a deep breath and looked at you. “I need to talk to you…about Marcus”

Your eyes widened a bit but not too much. It's quite understandable that he'll chat with you about him and maybe even explain why Marcus said he was finally happy to meet you, even though you've never heard of him. "I saw the way you look at each other and this must never happen" he didn't wait another second and spewed this at you.

You frowned at his naivety and the fact that you could have something more with Marcus. After all, you are still young bud, while he is a man of experience and has been through so much...yet this is not reason enough to erase him from your mind.

"Are you serious?" you asked your father arrogantly, folding your shoulders to your chest. "Yes, I'm serious honey. You know, Marcus is not the man for you" his voice sounded so convincing but you still didn't believe him. "You are the one who asks me about men every morning and when one comes along, you ban him?!" you raised your voice a little and threw your hands around. It just doesn't make any sense.

Your father looks down and took another deep breath. "Marcus Acacius is a warrior, a gladiator. He wouldn't have time for you and at the same time you would worry if he would survive. Also, his reputation with women is not flattering, even though he's the same age as me, he doesn't want to settle down. He loves freedom and fun, but you need someone who knows his priorities, do you understand?"

You were surprised by all of this information. Marcus definitely looks like a gladiator, but that's not the thing that scared you the most. His reputation with women? After all, he doesn't look like a man who would pay just for the experience and relief with a woman...or does he?

You tried to find the words to answer, but you couldn't think of anything. You had nothing in your head, just one man who seems like a poor old whore. Your father noticed your shock and even felt a little sorry for you. "Look, I only want the best for you, but Marcus just isn't the best" his words drove more and more wounds into your heart. It painted evil qualities into your imagination and even though everything seemed rosy after Marcus arrived, now is black and white and much worse.

"Do me a favor" your father slowly finished his monologue. "Stay away from Marcus" and with that he left your room leaving you completely devastated and destroyed. You felt tears running down your face but immediately wiped them away with your hand. A young lady like you can't cry, and certainly not because of a man. You didn't care about men until now, so how come you care so much about Marcus? You're not in love after all, are you?

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You walked into the main room where the party was being held. Everyone was already here, having fun and laughing, the music in the background pleasantly vibrated your eardrums and you tried to focus only on fun and freedom, nothing and no one else.

Even though your dad gave you a strict ban on any interaction with Marcus, you wore your sexy dress. After all, you have to use this opportunity one way or another. Of course, in that dress you immediately had the attention of almost all men and women.

It was eerily quiet for a moment when you walked in, even the music stopped playing. You don't like being the center of attention, so you tried to think of something to stop it. You slowly knelt down to greet and it really worked, the music started playing again and everyone was talking with each other. Sometimes, however, some would whisper in their ear while looking at you, but you tried your best to ignore them.

You came to the table with food and picked one grape berry. “Really interesting taste-” you heard a gruff wolf's voice from your right and quickly turned in that direction. Marcus looked even better than he did in the morning, he was well groomed, wearing a gorgeous white robe with gold accessories and his arms still looked so eatable. However, Marcus' words were stopped by another manly voice from the left, which was already familiar to you. "What do you think you're doing?!" your father was downright furious, looking you up and down. When you turned to look at him and revealed that Marcus was standing behind you, your father miraculously calmed down.

Marcus and you waited for your dad's next words. He was trapped, and that was exactly what you hoped would happen. You could feel how much he wanted to yell at you and scold you, but he can't show such an aggressive side of himself in front of his best friend, even at a party in front of hundreds of guests.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Marcus, come with me for a moment" he said and turned around thinking that Marcus was already following him. He looked a little surprised but the mischievous smile still remained on his face. As he passed by you, he gave you a subtle wink and you had a close enough to pass out on the spot. Who would have thought that a mere wink would almost give out your knees?

You watched as your dad pulled Marcus into a corner and said something to him. You could just see Marcus' face expression and couldn't hear what they are talking about. Sometimes he looked at you, but you couldn't describe what was going through his mind or what your dad was saying to him, you could only guess.

"That dress looks good on you" you heard a familiar female voice next to you. Your mother was looking in the same direction as you, but she was smiling. Her compliment only comforted you for a moment as you were still paying attention to the two men.

You let out an exhausted sigh and popped another berry into your mouth. "Marcus is a good man, honest and strong. You would be really safe with him" your mother's words caught you by surprise as she was of a different opinion than your father's. "But dad-" you wanted to say that just the thought of you and Marcus being together was destroying him but your mother interrupted you.

,,I know. He is worried about you, after all you are still young and Marcus is too old for you. You have to understand him, he's doing it for you" she patted your shoulders and walked away to her friends. She left you alone again and you were even more confused than before. You didn't know what to think about all this. Everything started to be suddenly too loud, the music and people's conversation gave you a headache and you had to get away quickly before you passed out.

You quickly stepped outside into the fresh air, trying to catch your breath. You leaned against the wall and all your emotions suddenly came out. Tears fell from your eyes one by one and you couldn't stop it. You wanted to run away, scream, you just wanted to be relaxed and free, but these are apparently too big demands. You sat down on the ground and curled up into a ball, hoping no one will find you in that state. What would they think of you?

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You have no idea how much time has passed since you ran out. But you don't care as long as no one is looking for you. You felt good, the cool wind blew through your hair and pleasantly refreshed your skin. Still sitting on the ground, you had your eyes closed and tried to focus only on the nature and the sound of the birds, even though it was quite difficult since you couldn't hear through the music and the sound from the party.

Suddenly you heard footsteps and in no time you were back on your feet. Chest popping, back straight and chin up. You were waiting for someone to show up around the corner. You expected your father, who is sure to be furious, or your mother, who is calmer but still worried. To your surprise, it wasn't neither of them.

"Where did you evaporate?" Marcus asked standing in front of you so he could finally get a better look at you in that unique dress. You opened your eyes in horror and your words got stuck in your throat. "I-I…" you tried to create a meaningful sentence, but how could you, when you were standing in front of the most handsome man you have ever seen in your entire life.

He noticed your struggling and couldn't help but giggle a bit. "Why are you nervous little dove?" he asked so softly, that the tone of his voice went through your every vein. The weird vibrating feeling between your legs started again, and you couldn't help but put your thighs closer. ,,I needed some fresh air" you finally whined in a shaky and low voice, but still trying to keep your attitude and show that you are not so nervous at all, but the truth was different.

"Understandable" he nodded his head and the corner of his mouth lifted. He stared at you for a moment until he joined you. He stands next to you, leaning against the wall watching the scenery with you. Even though it was quiet, you loved his presence next to you. You felt the feeling of security that every woman longs for.

"You don't want to enjoy the celebration?" you finally broke the ice and asked with all your courage, but you were still too nervous to look at him. "No, although it's surprising, I don't really like attention" he breathed out and you were quite surprised by his answers. ,,Really? Father was saying something else...” you said the second part of the sentence more quietly but Marcus heard you, despite the soft chatter.

,,Indeed?" you could feel his eyes on you, but you still tried really hard to keep your cool and not look at him, even tho you really wanted. His scent was so irresistible and you lost yourself for a moment, before the long silence slapped you on the head. ,, "Oh yes, he said you like to enjoy freedom and fun, even...with women" you weren't sure if you were supposed to mention the women, but somehow it just came out of your mouth without you being able to control it.

He scoffed and let out a small laugh. Now it was the perfect time to look at him. You saw his head shaking, like he doesn't believe what he just heard. "It's a surprise that I don't know about it myself" you frowned incomprehendingly and waited for an explanation.

When your eyes met, your heart skipped a beat and you stopped breathing. You saw his eyes up close and they were so lovely, just like his hair, face, beard, body...you were so obsessed with him. Is it even allowed to be so obsessed with a man you barely know and your father forbade him? Definitely not.

"Your father said things to protect you, to make you think bad things about me" This was exactly the answer you were hoping for, that it was all just a fabrication and that Marcus was a good innocent man. "Oh" you said and looked down at your feet. "And apparently he told you to stay away from me, am I right?" Marcus touched your arm softly, just by two fingers to make you look at him again, and it worked. He looked like a sad puppy who deserved to be scratched.

You just nodded in agreement, eliciting a soft sigh from Marcus. "He told me that too..." he slightly pushed himself away from the wall and stood in front of you again, this time much closer. Your back hit the wall and you were pinned to it, as Marcus stood only a few millimeters away from you, your chests almost touching. Your heart rate increased and your breathing quickened, your cheeks began to heat up and the vibration was much stronger than ever before.

"He specifically forbade me to have anything to do with you..." Marcus continued and his finger ran over your skin, from wrist, to upper arms, to your shoulders, stopping at your collarbones where he just make small circles. This was your first physical interaction with a man, and despite how scared you were of it, you melted at Marcus' touch.

His other hand gently squeezed your waist, making you gasp a bit by the surprise. He pulled you closer to his body, now you were definitely touching each other and you could feel something poking you into your thigh. You wanted to look what it was, but Marcus hypnotized you with his gaze and you just couldn't take your eyes off him.

"But I can't help it" and with these words he leaned closer to your face, your noses were touching and both of you were waiting to see who would kiss the other first. The situation was tense, you didn't notice anything or anyone around but Marcus and his warm breath against your wet lips.

You took a deep breath and the movement almost forced your lips to touch his, but it didn't. You were still waiting, Marcus' hands were now firmly on your hips and he had full control of you, he could do whatever he wanted with you, and you would let him without any word.

You were frozen but you fought so hard not to kiss him. Why? Because you really liked this game. You like all of this and want as much of it as possible. But Marcus is patient enough and as much as he wanted to break the barriers too, he didn't, instead he did something much hotter.

He released one hand from your waist and slowly slid it under your dress. You whined at the sigh of his touch, his massive hands surrounded almost your entire thigh. You were still face to face, noses touching but still no kiss, just touches. Really dangerous touches. He didn't stop in his journey under your dress and continued higher and higher, just where your throbbing cunt was.

You groan and moan, but quietly to not let someone caught you. Marcus loves how his touch drives you crazy, but you still had no idea what came next. When he finally found your sweet spot where you needed him touch you so badly, he didn't hesitate any second and insert one of his fingers into you. You throw your head back, breaking your kiss game but you didn't care.

The pleasure was indescribable. You saw sounds and felt colors, you bit your bottom lip to silence your heckling and crying, but it still didn't quite work. The way he curled his finger inside you made you wild, your legs shaking and your mind went dizzy. You immediately dug your fingers into his strong muscles for the better posture.

,,Marcus~”

You moan as he sped up his pace. He didn't take his eyes off you. You looked so beautiful like that, so weak, so hopeless. Just when you thought it couldn't get any better, Marcus added his thumb, making tiny circles around your clit. You've never experienced that pleasure like this before. You fight for your life not to scream his name and to stay on your feet.

He was stretching your walls while provoking your wet tiny friend, which if you just lightly touch, it will wreak havoc in your body. You felt the urge to go to pee, to burst everything that is inside you out, you were just so close to your orgasm. You had no idea what was going on, what it was, or why Marcus was so good at it, but all you could focus on was him and his fingers inside you, that were driving you crazy.

You looked at him as a guardian angel who would free you from the tense feeling that had accumulated in you over the years. Marcus knew you were on edge, your hole wrapped tightly around his finger and your legs automatically joined together. He smiled and continued in his motion, till you finally came onto his finger. A load moan came out of your mouth and your heart was beating at an incredible speed.

You opened your eyes and looked at Marcus, all sweaty and tired but relaxed. You both laughed for a moment and you wanted to rest until you heard quick footsteps coming your way. You didn't even have time to thank Marcus when you saw your dad and the guards emerging from the edge of the wall.

Marcus quickly let go of you and stepped aside, but you weren't sure if your father saw you so close to him or not. What you saw, however, was an enraged father who was boiling with anger.

He watched the two of you for a moment before he ordered the guards to take you back and grabbed Marcus by the shoulder. "Dad it's not what-" you wanted to save it, but it was too late for any words now. "I'll meet you at the party" he said and walked away with Marcus. You kept watched them, until the guards grabbed your arms and dragged you back to the celebration. You tried to break free from their grip, but it was impossible.

"Next time, you should obey your father's orders," said one of the guards, and you looked at him concerned. You wanted to say something to him, but you were already at the place. They let you go and closed the door, at which they then stood.

Shocked by the whole situation, you just stood there watching all the people having fun. Before long, your mother came to you, hugging you tightly and stroking your head. "Sweetheart, do you know how worried we were about you?" with tears in her eyes, she still didn't let go of her embrace. "You barely noticed I was gone" you replied arrogantly and gently pushed your mother away. You felt sorry for her, but right now, fury was controlling over pity.

You angrily walked over to the food table and stuffed one berry after another into your mouth as if you hadn't eaten in a month. After a while, the door you came through opened and your father and Marcus walked in. They were both smiling, even though you knew they weren't just talking outside. When Marcus noticed you, he gave you an apologetic look before walking to the other side of the hall. The only thing on your mind right now was a question, why is life so unfair?

"Hey easy there sweetheart" a manly voice pulled you away from staring at Marcus and you immediately turned to the direction the voice was coming from. A tall man with brown hair and a beard, he looked slimy and even smelled like that. Just his presence so close to you bothered you. You ignored him and ate a few more berries before he talked to you again, "Are you in a hurry or just really hungry?" he laughed like it was the best joke of the year. You just rolled your eyes in annoyance and wiped your hands into your dress. "Actually yes, I'm in hurry. Pleasure to meet you" you politely avoided him and quickly rushed to the other door, the one that lead to your room. You quickly opened them and breathed a sigh of relief as you were in the hallway, only to find the man was following you.

"Come on angel, we barely know each other" he said and still followed you. "I'm sorry but I'm not interested" you still politely rejected the man again and quickly walked towards your room. But that didn't stop him. You don't even know how, but suddenly he was right behind you, grabbing your wrist and pressed you against the wall. You started to panic.

"Please let me go!" you begged and hoped he would stop. You had a million scenarios in your head of what would happen, what he wants from you or what he will do to you. But his look says it all, he doesn't want to just talk to you. "You'll love it, don't worry" he said with a sickening smile on his face and started to undo the waistband of his pants. You started to cry and you knew that screaming for help was futile. He could strangle you with his hand or just cover your mouth and no one would be able to hear your cry for help. This is not how you imagined the loss of virginity, this is not how you wanted it.

Just when it seemed like this was going to be the most traumatic day of your life, Marcus burst into the hallway. You both turned your head to look at him and you finally had hope. You smiled but you were the only one. Marcus worried face transformed into furious in a second, as he saw that man standing too close to you, and your eyes full of tears.

"Get lost!" We have our moment here!" The moldy sweaty man yelled at Marcus, thinking he was really going to let us go. Of course he didn't. "If you don't let her go now, you'll face the consequences" he warned the man as he slowly approached to you. As if every step of his made you feel more and more happy and relieved.

"Jesus Christ just leave us alone idiot!" Marcus ran out of patience and ran after the man. He grabbed him by the shirt and forced him to back up to the other side of the hall, directly across from you, where he pinned him to the wall.

"Now listen to me carefully, you touch her one more time and you won't have such a clean face after that, is that clear to you?" you watched Marcus warn the man and you really respected him. When Marcus gets angry, he can be really scary. The bastard didn't say anything, he just looked at Marcus in horror and didn't know what to do.

"Is it clear?!" Marcus shook him aggressively and the man immediately nodded his head. He must shit his pants right now. "Now get lost!" he ordered and finally let him go. The guy didn't wait for anything and ran back to the door as he fastened his belt. When Marcus and you looked in his direction, you saw your dad watching you. Neither of you noticed him until now, you had no idea how long he had been standing there staring at you, but apparently long enough for him to change his mind about Marcus.

Your father came over to Marcus who thought he was in trouble again but instead of yelling he got a warm hug. Marcus was confused just as you were, but it was a nice picture to see them hugging again. After a while, your father finally released Marcus from his arms, admiring him with a smile. "I was wrong. I acted immaturely and rashly” came out of your fathers words and you were just shocked. "You are perfect for my daughter.”

With those words, you and Marcus smiled and you quickly ran towards them. ,,Are you serious father?” You asked incredulously, but your father nodded. "Yes, even though your age is intimidating, you can protect her and that's all that matters” You looked excitedly at Marcus and he looked back at you. "Thank you," Marcus added, giving your father one last smile before looking at you and kissing you without any warning. It was a long, passionate kiss that said a lot more than I love you. It said I want you.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Celebration of Marcus return was over, and the two of you just couldn't wait anymore. You were in your room, lips glued together and small moans leaving your mouth. The kisses were so wet, hungry and full of lust, that you had. "From the moment I saw you" Marcus said quickly between the kisses, trying to catch his breath. During this he slowly forced you backing up until your feet hit the bed frame. "I wanted you".

He said before gently pushing you onto the bed, making you bounce a bit. You smiled at his flirtatious words before his lips touched yours again, both of your saliva mixing together, making an amazing tasteful fluid. His tongue pushing into your mouth so roughly, almost choking you.

His hands traveled all over your body until he finally found the buttons of your dress, which he immediately used and very aggressively removed them, almost destroying them. You gasped as the cool fresh air touched your naked skin and Marcus needed a minute to admire your body.

“Where have you been all this time?” he asked desperately and immediately lunged after you again, his male instincts running wild as he grab your breast and squeezed, making you whine his name really loudly. You were in holy heaven, every touch of his on your body turned you on more and more and just the thought of how he had made you feel before, drives you crazy.

"You've never touched yourself, did you?" he whispered in your ear while slowly driving his finger down to your hole. You couldn't answer him, just a quiet whine came out of you. "Don't worry, that's why I am here for" he said before he put a finger inside you, your back arching and you firmly grab the pillows on the bed.

,,Oh my god~”

You groan and look at Marcus, totally crazy about your moves. Your hips were automatically moving against Marcus' hand, trying to bring more friction. He did as your body wanted, and added another finger, stretching your walls and making your fluid leak a bit.

Your moans were a lullaby for Marcus ears, making sure that he is doing his job well. His fingers teasing the inside of you, the juicy sound echoed throughout the room. But suddenly, he stopped and pulled out his fingers from you. You sighed at the loss, confused and overwhelmed. You looked at Marcus, watching him what he is doing. He knelt in front of the bed with a devilish grin on his face and moved you closer to him. More specifically, your vagina closer to your face.

“W-what are you doing?” you asked, leaning your elbows on the bed so you could see Marcus over your body. "Relax, trust me" he said and you did. You really trust Marcus, and definitely after he stood up for you. No one, no man, no human ever did something like that for you. You respect him a lot, but even more now that he's sticking his tongue inside you. You suddenly winced and grunted. His wet tongue entered into you so lightly, it was like a natural lubricant.

Instinctively, you grabbed Marcus's wavy hair and tugged on it as he slid his tongue in and out of you, making you whine his name. He kept his eyes on you, watching you as his victim, which you were in this situation. He held your hips so you wouldn't move too much and have the full experience as it should be.

His nose bumping into your clitoris from time to time, making your vision blurry. You heard the ringing for a moment and all your senses stopped. The only thing you could feel was Marcus's tongue inside you, touching you that spongy spot, which is making you getting close to realise.

After a few more movements of Marcus' tongue inside you, you couldn't take it anymore and you came right into Marcus' mouth. You gasped, trying to catch a breath as your legs shook. Marcus drinks all of your juices and you ride the orgasms off by his big nose.

You close your eyes, trying to calm yourself and your body down, while Marcus stands up from his position and gets on top of you. He knew how tired and exhausted you are, so he wanted you to catch a little break. He was giving you sweet little kisses all over your body and most often on your tummy, making you laugh a little. "Relaxed?" he asked and you jerked your head up to look at him. "There is more?" you asked in shock and Marcus just smiled at your innocence.

He nodded and crawled more up, so that he was face to face with you. His muscular body covered you all over, his scent tickling your olfactory cells. You just caressed his face. You felt his beard gently scratching you against your palm. It didn't hurt, on the contrary, it was pleasant.

“Are you ready for true passion?” He hummed and you looked at him in shock. You probably knew what he was pointing out, but you still weren't sure. You nodded your head a little apprehensively, but Marcus immediately calmed you down with a passionate kiss.

It wasn't long before Marcus' clothes were on the ground. You didn't care where, the main thing was that it was gone and you could finally feel his hot body on you. You couldn't help it and your hand traveled all over his body, your brain trying to remember every part of him, muscle, abs or just mole. He was perfect.

As the two of you kept touching yourself with hands, you felt something really big poking your inner thigh, dangerously close to your core. You slightly and gently moved Marcus away from you to take a look, what is it that provokes you so much. Your eyes nearly fell out of their sockets at the sight of Marcus' cock. He was big, massive and literally begging to fuck you already.

His precum already leaving from his pink tip, his veins were really filled and all you wanted to do was touch him, which you did without permission. You gently touched him with your fingers and Marcus immediately responded with a soft exhale. "Careful" he warned you, watching your hand on his penis. You took Marcus's warning to heart and followed his veins really gently with your index finger.

"You know what to do?" another heavy exhale from his lips, and you stopped to look at Marcus's face. You shook your head, a little afraid that he would laugh at you, but that didn't happen. Instead he took your hand and helped show you how. He carefully covered your hand and forced you to wrap yours around his cock. Your touch really turned him on but he had to hold back. "That's it, now you're gonna do this" he started moving your hand slowly, up and down with a slow pace. You quickly check Marcus face, that was squeezed and his teeth were dug into his lower lip.

"Perfect, clever girl..." he whine softly and throw his head back. You continued in the motion that he shows you, really focused while checking his face from time to time. You could tell that he likes it, but you wanted him to love it. You decided to speed up a bit and wrap your hand more tightly around him. He moaned your name, gods name and just sweet things you couldn't even register. One of his hand was on your waist, squeezing it, making you jump a bit.

"Oh my..." he moaned, digging his fingers into your skin while his lap was rocking against your hand. "Fuck!" He screamed and reached his climax, spraying a white gooey liquid all over your stomach. You were horrified but in a good way, you liked these new things you were exploring more and more.

After Marcus finally came to his senses, he smiled at you and stroked your cheek. "You learn fast little dove" you giggle by that cute nickname and your cheeks were so hot suddenly. "But we are still not done yet" and with these words he slowly began to insert his cock into you. You knew it was big but no one prepared you for this pain. But Marcus was a respectful man and always waited for the pain to pass and then he continued. This was repeated a few times until he was finally fully inside you.

He kept saying nice things to you to calm you down mentally and physically and it really helped. When he was 100% sure that you were fine and ready, he slowly began to move his hips back and forth. The pain immediately turned into pleasure, his cock slightly brushing your folds and it make you wanted more. You started moving your hips along his, giving him a clear sign that you are ready for more. Therefore, he quickened his pace and his emphasis as well.

His balls were clapping against your ass, the juice sound started being loud again but not as loud as your moans and gasps. You clawed at Marcus's back with your fingernails, they must left a bloody mess. Marcus was squeezing your hips so hard that he was sure to leave some bruise there, but neither of you cared.

He was stretching you so hard, finding and hitting that sponge spot again, and you immediately knew you won't last long. You felt so tight, like someone was strangling you down there and in your lower abdomen until Marcus exploded and rammed deep into you all the way to his balls. This was your last straw and just seconds after his orgasm you reached it too.

A few dirty words were exchanged until Marcus collapsed next to you. Both of you were tired, exhausted, sweaty and struggling to catch your breath. You felt amazing, this was the best thing you could ever experience and you can thank Marcus for that.

You turn your head towards him, his eyes were closed and his nostrils big. He was sleepy already but you weren't surprised, you were also ready to fall asleep. You crawled closer to Marcus, waking him up a bit. He immediately assumed his position as a caring partner and covered you both with a blanket. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer to him and you purred appreciatively. "You're amazing darling" he whispered and placed a soft kiss into your hair. If this is the security that your father was talking about, then you have more than enough.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

[sunriseseance]

I actually think it is SO INTERESTING how in a way the Sparrows became their own Reginald. In e2 Sloane expresses that she WISHES she could leave and like girl. You are 30. Your dad is so high he's offering cookies to the enemy. But she can't leave, can she? Because her siblings (and probably her) see each other as weapons, as teammates, as heroes, not as people. She can't leave because they'd hunt her down. She can't leave because none of them will ever leave. She can't leave because they'd never forgive her. That's some Reginald shit! They got robbed of all connection (mom and Pogo, half an hour of fun on Saturday), he trained them harder, he made them truly heroes, and they had no opportunity NOT to buy in. Marcus you are 30 why are you teasing Viktor for not being number one? Is it because the worst of your father lives in you? Hmmm?

And compare that to the Umbrellas, who are toxic and sometimes crazy, but overwhelmingly see each other as people first. Not as tool, not as part of the umbrella machine. It's such a fantastic dichotomy. I love this show.

[mothandpidgeon]

P Boy Podcasts

I was swapping podcast recs with @schnarfer and asked her what kind of podcasts would each of the Pedro boys host? (I’m a bit of a podcast junkie. I'm literally listening to one right now.) Well, we were brainstorming and I went and created episode art for each of their shows. Which ones are you subscribing to?

Nic on Nic Get a peek into the brain of legendary talent Nicolas Cage. Cage collaborator (and fanboy) Javi Guttierez is watching everything from Con Air to National Treasure 2. Take a deep dive into the films of Nic Cage and hear exclusive interviews with the man himself.

The Unfortunates There are spies living among us, everyday people living double lives. What makes them do it? And how do they keep their secrets? Each week, Dave York shares a true story from the clandestine world of espionage. 

Foundlings Din Djarin’s parenting journey has never gone to plan because he never planned on becoming a dad! Come along as he navigates the challenges of single parenting a 50 year old son. Each week Din leads insightful discussions with a range of guests— pediatricians, parenting experts, and  other parents that are just trying to figure it all out.

Declassified Drugs, danger, and dames. The fall of Escobar made way for the Cali Cartel. Hear the story from  Agent Javier Pena as he recalls the hunt for the Cali Cartel and reveals details that have never been heard before. 

Tales from the Green Ezra shares spooky fales of distant worlds on this anthology fiction podcast. All set on the Green Moon, these bizarre and enthralling stories introduce you to a lush world filled with intrigue and danger. 

Heist The Mona Lisa only became a cultural icon after it was stolen in 1911. Learn about the greatest capers in the art world with host Marcus Pike. Hear first hand accounts going undercover during his time in the FBI. 

No Cap 4 best friends chat about anything and everything. Hear Santi, Will, Frankie, and Ben give their takes on dating, travel, and current events. You’ll love listening to them react to r/aita. 

UNKNOWN ZONE Alien encounter? Evidence of the lost city of Atlantis? Ghost fucking? Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. Join celebrity host Dieter Bravo for real life brushes with the unknown!

Joel’s Construction Corner Have a burning home improvement question? Or maybe you just like a southern drawl? Host Joel Miller has 30 years of experience in contracting and he’s here to share his advice with you. As soon as he figures out how to use this damn computer. Ellie does the ad reads with a pun for every one. 

Hungry History What does the invention of margarine have to do with Napoleon? Did Marco Polo really introduce pasta to Italy? Which Founding Father had a craving for ice cream? Follow your stomach to discover the origins of your favorite foods as we travel back in time with host Pero Tovar. 

--

I might've gone overboard. But I wish these all existed???

If you reblog this please rec me your favorite podcasts in the tags.

[sammaggs]

4x02 Easy Money // 3x01 Burning Down the House // 3x02 Eclipse | Rift

Something that always strikes me about Ray's moment of reconciliation with his father (in a show that might as well be subtitled Fathers Kinda Suck Huh???????) is the way this scene in particular is shot.

They focus especially on Ray's bracelet as he extends his hand:

Which isn't the only time they've focused on Ray's bracelet during Important Character Building. There's of course, his intro in Burning Down the House,

The close-up on the similarity with Marcus Ellory's bracelet in Eclipse,

And a bunch of other moments over seasons 3 and 4 that basically use the bracelet as a quick visual stand-in for "Ray Kowalski's a little bit different."

It’s something Ray Vecchio would never wear; hell, it's something most cops would never wear. It's a little bit, as Ray Kowalski would say, queer.

And so is Ray Kowalski.

The decision to focus on this bracelet during the exact moment he offers his hand to Damian as a peace offering is therefore, to me, worth considering. I personally read this as an indicator that part of the reason for Ray's rift with his father was his queerness.

And the first thing Damian says to Ray after they shake hands?

He compliments Ray’s experimental hair! He mentions another “queer” element of Ray’s physical appearance—one his father has likely given him a lot of grief for—and accepts it. Metaphor!!

It is, of course, understandable that Damian would have wanted better for his son than to be a cop, and this isn't to say that there isn't a world where that might have been enough to cause Damian to lose meaningful touch with his son for a decade. It certainly made sense for Ray Vecchio's father, who was likely involved with low-level mob business. But it does seem pretty extreme for Damian!

There's also the beautiful scene where Ray tells Fraser about his family in the precinct mess. At the very end, it really does look like he has something else he wants to say... but then Huey interrupts.

Now I am, of course, aware that Ray was dating or engaged to Stella at the time he graduated Academy. So what could his queerness possibly have to do with anything?

Well, as much as many of us wish it would, your queerness does not disappear when you enter a straight-passing relationship. I've even seen interesting ruminations in fic that some of the early hardship in Ray and Stella's relationship—remember, they broke up for a while during her college tenure—might have been due to the fact that Ray was interested in (or even caught) experimenting with men.

A personal anecdote, if you'll indulge me: I was in my mid-twenties, four years into a relationship with a man I thought I was going to marry, and tormented constantly by the idea that I was, probably, queer. I had no way of finding out while I was in a committed monogamous relationship. When I told my own mother that I thought I was bisexual, she told me it was all right—but also to never, ever tell my father. Even though I was in a relationship with a man, the knowledge of my queerness would have been enough to potentially cause a rift between my father and I that I don't know if we ever could have repaired. [editor's note: i'm a lesbian now and my dad and I have a stellar relationship ftr but i did have to marry a whole man first so] [editor's note: i am also the editor]

Ray gets caught with a man while Stella is in college? Or Stella knows and tells Ray's mother while they're drunk on wine one night? Or Ray's parents find a magazine... or a photo... or a stamp from the wrong club... anything. There's a million reasons why Ray's queerness could and may have come up even while he was with Stella, even while he was monogamous. Because he was still queer.

I know there's a certain element of "sometimes the curtains are just blue, dude, chill” to all of my meta, but when it comes to this show in particular I very much operate in my analyses from a place of "everything is intentional." Small details really do matter; the way scenes are shot matter, the words that are used matter, there's intentionality behind it all. We can't know or understand authorial intent, of course, but we can read our own interpretation of that intent into it. (The author is dead but Paul Gross thought Callum Keith Rennie was hot, so)

This is, after all, another episode directed by George Bloomfield, who also did Burning Down the House and is responsible for that "love at first sight" moment in Say Amen, so the direction here is in the hands of someone who is clearly in lock-step with Gross around the inclusion of queerness in the latter seasons of the show.

This moment is interesting to me in particular when considering intent because I actually would prefer to see Ray and Damian's faces in this moment! I want to know what Damian is thinking, or if he frowns. I want to know if Ray looks nervous or concerned. We don't see that at all.

Instead of seeing them over the GTO, we get the close-up on the hands and the bracelet over the rebuilt engine.

Rebuilding!! They're doing it.

And that makes my little queer heart pretty happy.

[thegirlwhowatchedeverything]

The Wishbone In S3

Syd's Wishbone Tattoo

Screenshot from @sydcarmyfan

Opening Scene of 3x10 Forever

Chef Keller: And you know as a child, right?

Carmy: Right. Make a wish.

Chef Keller: Roasted chicken. Yeah. We'd take the wishbone out and hang it up and dry it overnight, and then we'd sit with our brothers or our mother or whoever and, uh try to break who was gonna be the lucky person. But now I'm just scraping with the tip of my knife, you see? This knife, you can hear it. You can feel it, right? The vibration on the knife kind of sounds like my dental hygienist cleaning my teeth. You got that?

Carmy: Yes, chef.

Chef Keller: I can start to pull it out. You can see it now, right? Exposed.

Carmy: Yeah. Boom.

Chef Keller: There you go. Your wishbone.

Carmy: Perfect.

Chef Keller: You can save that for tomorrow.

Wishbones And Vibrant Collaboration

Chef Keller: But now I'm just scraping with the tip of my knife, you see? This knife, you can hear it. You can feel it, right? The vibration on the knife kind of sounds like my dental hygienist cleaning my teeth. You got that?

Carmy: Yes, chef.

Chef Keller: I can start to pull it out. You can see it now, right? Exposed.

Carmy: Yeah. Boom.

Chef Keller: There you go. Your wishbone.

Carmy: Perfect.

The wishbone scene is the beginning of 3x10 and the beginning of Carmy's career, literal day 1 at the French Laundry and the tone Chef Keller sets is important. Tone wise, Carmy's first professional moment is one of PEACEFUL vibrant collaboration - he doesn't start in an environment of shutout (Mikey), abuse (Chef David), competition (Carmy to Luca in 3x1 Go faster, chef! Chef, let's fucking go! and Carmy to everyone in 1x8 And when somebody new came into the restaurant to stage, I’d look at them like they were competition, like I’m gonna smoke this motherfucker.), or chaos (Donna in 2x6). In conclusion, pulling out wishbones are peaceful meaning Syd's not Claire is Carmy's peace (2x9).

Also the act of pulling a wishbone requires two people, it's a literal collaboration.

Wishbones and Childhood

Chef Keller: And you know as a child, right?

Carmy: Right. Make a wish.

Chef Keller: Roasted chicken. Yeah. We'd take the wishbone out and hang it up and dry it overnight, and then we'd sit with our brothers or our mother or whoever and, uh try to break who was gonna be the lucky person.

Carmy and Mikey's bond over cooking in childhood: My brother and I, we would cook a lot together, especially when we were kids. You know, that’s when we were closest. Food was always our common ground. We wanted to open a restaurant together. Um, we had a name, we had a vibe, all of it. (1x8)

All of the tattoos we know Syd has so far are on her back which contrasts Carmy's visible ones (literally wearing them on his sleeves). This ofc mirrors their personalities and willingness to open up - Carmy's done this more so far in the series than Syd (but I explain in the last section why I feel like we'll finally get more about her in S4). I feel all Syd's tattoos revolve around her mom in some way and I think it's reinforced by the fact they're on her back - like her inner life in general, she keeps the memories of her mom to herself (no random person could see her tattoos unless she wanted them to - so far her dad, Marcus, and Carmy) but the placement of the tats also show her mom's death is a weight on her back - a burden/trauma from childhood. For the wishbone specifically, it seems like the most straightforward and heartbreaking interpretation is that Syd wishes her mom was alive or that she at least got more time with her because since she died when Syd was only 4 (2x9), she mainly has to rely on her dad's memories of her rather than her own (Marcus: You rely on your dad? He loves it. in 3x5 and Carmy: At least you can rely on him in 2x2).

Wishbones and The Long Lasting Effect of Grief

Chef Keller: We'd take the wishbone out and hang it up and dry it overnight, and then we'd sit with our brothers or our mother or whoever and, uh try to break who was gonna be the lucky person. There you go. Your wishbone.

Carmy: Perfect.

Chef Keller: You can save that for tomorrow.

The fact that "brothers" (Mikey's dead), "mothers" (Syd's mom's dead), or "whoever" (the idea anyone can become found family, Carmy: friends and family's not an exact Science, Sug in 2x9) are highlighted here.

It takes time and distress (aka trauma) before you can pull a wishbone:

Wishbones and The Invisible String of Fate

We start the season where we end the season - Syd and Carmy's invisible string of fate. In 3x1, we see Carmy make Syd's favorite dish (which we knew from 1x8) and we get the extra significance that it was born from what we can assume is Carmy's only act of rebellion at EMP where Carmy makes the dish his way rather than how Chef David's subtracted from Carmy's original idea.

In 3x10, we open on Chef Keller teaching Carmy to remove the wishbone on his first day as a professional chef. We see Carmy's documentation of this formative memory in his notebook in 3x7 when Marcus is flipping through it:

Carmy's drawn step by step illustrations on how to remove the wishbone next to a page that has a magazine cut out of a roast chicken under which Carmy writes "remove wishbone".

On a previous page of the notebook, we see a recipe for some dish, but next to the handwritten ingredients Carmy's placed a piece of green tape that says "bones".

The last page we see in this scene is a picture of several chefs, including Chef Keller.

In 3x1, we see Carmy tying up the chicken after removing the wishbone and placing it very carefully (he uses his hand to gently pat the last chicken after placing it on the rack) next to the other chickens he's prepared. Sidenote for the timing of this flashback - it could have gone anywhere in this episode, but it comes right after Syd hands him the coffee cup in the present thus putting the wishbone memory in the past right next to Syd in the present (however, we don't get the apology until later in the episode).

Later in 3x1 we see another flashback of Carmy tying up the chicken, pulling out the wishbone, and serving the roasted chickens at family including him making a plate of chicken for himself. We see him eat/fix plates for himself several times in the 3x1 flashbacks, but as has been said we rarely see Carmy eat in the present. First notables: Carmy DOESN'T eat Syd's first family meal in 1x1 even after she's offered (and she makes a fennel salad which was the "allergy" Carmy subbed the blood orange for in Syd's hamachi dish at EMP in 3x1). Second notable, he doesn't eat any of the food at Ever's funeral in 3x10 (even though his argument to get Syd to come is it's the last/first time she'll be able to eat Ever's food) because he's so preoccupied with Chef David and he hasn't repurposed his trauma in a dish yet like Luca has with the sweet pea panna cotta in 3x10.

Like Carmy made Syd's favorite meal before knowing her, it's like he also drew her tattoo before knowing her (and something about him not knowing his dish was her favorite/that she ever ate at EMP while he was there and also doesn't know about her wishbone tattoo/any of her tats). This means that in Carmy's career starting, first professional culinary notebook the first thing he draws ties impossibly back to Syd. And shoutout to @sydcarmyfan for pointing out Carmy's touched all of her tats without knowing it in S2.

Wishbones and S4

Even though we end the episode and season on two low notes with Syd's panic attack and what seems to be the negative Tribune review, I think it's interesting that we (almost) end an overall bleak season with a scene of joy for the Bear crew partying at Syd's apartment (minus shell-shucking robot Carm) and even Carm seems lighter after confronting Chef David and seeking advice in Chef Terry. But even if the review is terrible, I have hope for S4 because we end the opening 3x10 scene with a shot of two wishbones - one Chef Keller took out in his demonstration for Carm and the second Carm took out himself.

Ideally, the wishbone splits evenly between Syd and Carmy next season - they both get their wish which is The Bear stays open, is successful, and vibrant collaborations are firing on all fronts between Carmy and Syd, Richie (FOH) and Carmy (BOH), Carmy and Tina, Tina and Marcus, etc. The second wishbone could represent the second chance (rather "second, third and hundredth chances balancing on breaking branches") Syd might give to Carmy by staying at The Bear. Or, it could represent that even if Syd chooses to leave The Bear, there will still be a second chance for reconciliation/friendship/collaboration/marriage in the future between Syd and Carmy.

Syd's outfit in 3x10 is gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous (Syd in 2x2)" AND symbolic that we're going to finally learn more about Syd in S4. Again Carmy's tattoos are visible whereas Syd's are covered, but this outfit is sleeveless so it's the closest we've come to being able to see her wishbone tattoo (and the previously revealed Three of Swords from 2x8). Maybe another indication the review is positive (or at least not all terrible) because they realize they've already been reviewed right after Carmy explains how to take out the wishbone and the pope's nose to Tina in 3x4 which is a positively formative start of his career.

Lastly, you PULL wishbones apart. Speaking of migration/immigration, pull factors are positive things that might attract/draw/pull someone into a new place like better education opportunities or jobs or religious freedom.

Whereas push factors are negative circumstances that might force someone out/to move/leave their home when otherwise they would choose to stay - war, famine, lack of freedom, etc. Carmy's PUSHED (Syd: Why are you doing this? Carmy: So you can push me and I can push you, 3x1) Syd to the brink of leaving him - the question for S4 is if he's pushed her over that ledge or not. I think not if it all comes back to wishbones and invisible strings, pulling vs. pushing, and wishes granted like magic (3x9 opening sequence) and miracles (Carmy: it's a miracle these places [aka people aka Syd] even exist, 3x10).

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 68

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words: 6K

Masterlist

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Sunday, March 6th; 10:30 AM - At Ona's place.  

- "We have something to tell you."  

That was the sentence that greeted Lucy and me after breakfast this morning. It was just the two of us, and I think my mother took advantage of the moment. Knowing the girls, they must have come home late last night. As for us, we walked through the front door at 2 AM, and from what we saw, Ingrid and Mapi's bedroom door was still open. Our evening had been magical, full of joy and emotions. I wish I could relive it over and over again. I was happy. It was a feeling I hadn't experienced in a long time. Unfortunately, I sensed it would fade given the situation we were in.  

We were seated on the couch with my mother and Marcus in front of us, both looking very nervous. Joan had stayed upstairs to play. I suspect my mother sent her up there.  

- "So? Are you going to tell us what's going on?" I asked after two minutes of silence.  

- "First of all," my mother began, "we're very happy to welcome you into our family, Lucy. We appreciate you a lot, and it's not just because you make my daughter happy."  

I glanced at my girlfriend, who smiled and nodded gratefully. I could tell she appreciated being accepted. Still, she would always respect my decisions if something were to happen, knowing that I had been estranged from them for a long time. Things were beginning to change. My mother was making efforts toward both my brother and me. She had acknowledged her mistakes. Unfortunately, it wouldn't erase all the months and years of suffering I had endured with her in the blink of an eye. We would have to work hard on our relationship, and I knew I had work to do on myself as well.  

- "I hope your love lasts in happiness, just like Marcus and I are experiencing..."  

I stared at her intently. I often wondered if my father had meant anything to her when I saw her with Marcus. I would say yes, but did she love him as much as this man sitting across from us? Neither of them ever spoke to me about their relationship. It was as if they tried to forget it, and in the end, I was the one who had forgotten what they were like together.  

- "Is something bothering you, Ona?"  

I realized I had drifted into my thoughts, staring at them as if they were a point of focus. I shook my head.  

- "No, no. Sorry. I was just thinking."  

Lucy placed her hand on my thigh, giving me a supportive smile. I knew she could tell I was unsettled.  

- "Maybe we can talk about it?"  

- "No, it's fine. I don't particularly want things to escalate."  

Whenever we talked, it always ended that way. I didn't need Lucy to witness another scene like that. They were often intense, and I didn't want her to see me in a rage. It's not like she had never seen me like that before, but she didn't need to see it again.  

- "Come on, we can talk about it, I'm sure."  

I sighed deeply. She wouldn't let it go. She never does. I looked her straight in the eyes and stayed honest.  

- "I know you're going to announce your wedding. I thought about Dad, that's all. No one has ever talked to me about your relationship, so hearing you say that makes me feel like he never existed."  

I could tell my words hit home. She probably hadn't expected such a candid response.  

- "I..."  

She was at a loss for words. I had managed to leave her speechless. That didn't happen often.  

- "Y-you're right. We were going to announce our wedding, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten your father. Don't get me wrong, Ona, I loved him deeply. We just had some differences that ended our marriage."  

- "I know. I was just thinking that I barely remember you two together because no one ever talks to me about it."  

My response created an awkward silence, and I realized it had been misinterpreted. They probably thought I would react badly. That was often the case when it came to my father. Lucy knew that all too well, having already been the victim of one of my anger episodes at school.  

- "It's fine, really. I didn't mean anything by it. You can continue," I encouraged them with a wave of my hand.  

- "No, you're right. I shouldn't announce our news without talking about your father first. We intentionally never brought up our relationship with him to avoid hurting you or making the situation worse at the time, but I see now that it's bothering you."  

I wasn't expecting that response. My surprise must have shown on my face. My mouth went dry. I wasn't sure if I was ready to hear this story, but she was right. It was bothering me. I had matured, so maybe I was finally capable of hearing it. I was certain of it when Lucy squeezed my thigh. There was no better time. She would support me if I needed it, and she was already doing so with her touch.  

- "Alright," my mother began with a nervous cough, "what exactly do you want to know?"  

- "Everything. If we're going to talk about it, let's lay it all out now."  

In reality, I wasn't sure I could handle multiple conversations about this. I had a feeling none of this would be pleasant, so I figured I might as well hear everything at once, to swallow the pill in one go instead of several. There were so many unanswered questions in my life. It was time for answers. It was what I needed to move on and mend my relationship with my mother. She shifted uneasily in her seat. She was uncomfortable. Marcus had been silent until now, but he offered support by holding my mother's hand. It was clear he knew what was going on, which drove me crazy.  

- "It's a long story, but I think it's time you heard it," she began.  

I agreed. My progress in self-control was evident. I just hoped I wouldn't explode in the end. My mother took a deep breath before starting.  

- "We didn't agree on my career choices. I was young when I had you. You weren't planned... At least, not so soon. Back then, I had big dreams. I wanted to become one of the best surgeons."  

A lump was already forming in my throat. I could feel that I wasn't going to like much of what I was about to hear.  

- "And I did become one. By the time I finished my internship, people were fighting to hire me. It took a lot of time and perseverance... to the point where I neglected our family at home."  

I don't remember that. I don't know how old I was, but I must have been very young, maybe even a baby.  

- "I had many opportunities to leave, but I couldn't do that to your father. He supported me from the start, took care of you... And I loved him. Leaving would have been a total disaster. I couldn't do that to him. So I stayed in Portugal for our family."  

I knew my mother had lived in Barcelona before meeting my father. My father used to tell me that story when I was young. They met by chance in Portugal while my mother was on vacation there. It was love at first sight. She left home at a young age to live her life with him. I had long wondered if my mother had any regrets. I knew my father didn't. He always wanted me to believe that love could happen in a single glance. For a long time, I didn't believe him. The way he described love, I had never felt it... until the person sitting next to me now. It was no coincidence that I told her last night that she was my soulmate. I didn't believe in such things before I met her.  

- "But," my mother continued, "there came a time when love wasn't enough anymore. I wasn't happy, and the situation was getting worse."  

The fights between my parents came flooding back to me. If there's one thing I remember about them being together, it's that. It's rather sad that their only child, the product of their love, only remembers that.  

- "In the meantime, I was in frequent contact with Marcus... He was an old friend of your father's from the army. He visited often when you were younger, with Sarina. Sarina had left the army after a mission where she almost lost her life. Your father saved her. She later opened Camp Wiegman in Manchester, so she stopped visiting."  

My thoughts were starting to come together. Everything was beginning to make sense. I couldn't believe what she was telling me. So, I had already met Wiegman when I was little. She had hinted at it, but I didn't believe her. Once again, I must have been young because I didn't remember her. But Marcus, I remembered clearly. I still picture him sipping coffee with my father during his visits. They were close.  

- "Do you remember?" she asked, noticing that I was drifting off.  

- "Vaguely," I admitted softly.  

- "Maybe you remember Lotte? Sarina always came with her husband and daughter. You spent a lot of time with her when you were younger."  

I widened my eyes. Lotte? Really? She quickly realized that I didn't remember. I clearly remember meeting her for the first time when I arrived. She had tried to be nice to me, and I had rudely brushed her off.

- I-I don’t remember.

- Your grandparents often looked after you together during your vacations. You were inseparable until Sarina couldn't come anymore.

I feel guilty. Poor Lotte. No wonder she feels uncomfortable around me. I’ll go talk to her when I return to clear things up and apologize.

- Anyway, she says, getting back to the main topic. Regarding your father and me, he understood that I had become close to Marcus. We were like best friends, confidants. That’s what we were, at first, of course.

It's strange how the images come back to me. The laughter between them, the conversations, and even the little gestures. They seemed so close. I find it hard to believe her words at that moment. A small rage fills me. However, I hold back, determined not to let anything show. I promised myself not to overreact.

- Nothing was happening at that time, Ona. I was always faithful to your father.

She noticed I was skeptical. Maybe it's true, but I have this relentless need to defend my father.

- Your father never blamed me for anything… except when it came to you. He resented me for not taking care of you. You were his only daughter, and he always saw you unhappy because you lacked the love of your mother.

Tears well up in my eyes. At least now I know why I feel the need to defend him. He had always done the same for me. I owe him that much now.

- He was right. I couldn't bond with you because of how little time I spent at home.

- And what did you think? That those yearly vacations would change anything? I snap despite myself.

Those are still my best memories. The only ones where I remember being with both of my parents at the same time. It’s crazy that I can’t recall anything else of the three of us. Maybe that’s why I have this need to travel…

- No... By the time I wanted to do something about it, it was too late. You already hated me. I didn’t know you. Then came the job offer in Barcelona. It wasn’t just anything. It was my city. We had just had a huge fight over you when the offer came in. Your father wanted me to take it, without following me...

The news hits me like a punch. I expected the decision to be made by both of them.

- He had kept too much inside and couldn’t take it anymore. He knew I wasn’t as happy, and it was the opportunity of a lifetime. He let me go out of love. He wanted me to become an exceptional surgeon, and that’s what this hospital in my hometown offered...

My throat tightens. My father is an honorable man. There’s nothing else to say.

- So, we decided to divorce and then figure out custody. Of course, his condition was to keep you… Unfortunately, what he didn’t foresee was that the law would refuse it because of his job, and also because mothers take precedence in these situations.

I blink several times. He had asked for my custody. I can’t believe it. I thought he knew all along that he wouldn’t be able to keep me because of the army. I didn’t know he had asked for custody during the divorce. I feel like crumbling. I could have avoided so much by staying with him, especially the deterioration of my relationship with my mother. Tears stream down my face, and I can’t stop them.

- So, I took you with me. I saw it as a new chance. I was starting the job of my dreams and bringing you along at the same time. I wanted to make up for lost time, take care of you, get to know you. Of course, you never let me, and on top of that, I had a ton of work to prove myself.

My mother also starts to cry. I’ve never seen her like this, so vulnerable. She’s opening up her heart, her true thoughts. Her voice breaks more and more as she speaks.

- All those school summons I received when you were younger… The fights and the false accusations you’ve thrown at me recently... I acted that way because I expected it to be provocation from you. I thought you were trying to defy me because you were a young teenager...

I swallow my tears. I want to yell at her. It’s torture, but I’ll stay silent until the end.

- And what about Marcus coming into our lives? That was less than a year after we moved here. And what about my studies? Why did you force me to take something I didn’t like just to please you?

It’s stronger than me. I had to know everything, and anger helped me let it all out. I did my best to hold it in.

- I had only moved here a few years before you, Marcus explains himself. I came first to support your mother. The breakup with your father affected her, and she couldn’t manage you... The time you caught us was an accident. We weren’t together, and it wasn’t supposed to happen.

- An accident? I scoff.

- Ona! my mother scolds. What Marcus says is true...

- Well, sorry, but I find it hard to believe. I may have been young, but you should have talked to me. Instead, you stayed silent all the time. I have every right to be angry at you! I thought something had been going on for a long time, that you betrayed Dad even before you left!

- That wasn’t the case. I promise, sweetheart...

- Don’t call me that! Everything between you happened way too fast! After catching you, how long? Eight months before you moved in together? Excuse me, but I had every reason to be angry. I had just left my country, left my father, and then I saw you with one of his best friends! You should have known it would affect me, that I wouldn’t accept the situation! And did you even think about Dad? What he must have felt when you told him!?

She’s devastated, really devastated by my words, but it’s only the truth. They handled everything so poorly. Communication is important. It’s not like I wouldn’t have understood at twelve years old.

- We weren’t together, insists Marcus in the face of my anger. I was only supporting your mother through this, and we eventually developed feelings for each other. Your father knew. I asked for his blessing before anything happened.

- You two are such idiots, I snap. If he gave you his blessing, it’s only because he was still crazy about Mom and wanted her to be happy!

My rage grows despite myself. I remember how betrayed I felt on my father's behalf. I can't even imagine the state he must have been in.

- You should be ashamed of what you did to him!

- He knew, my mother sighs.

- And I assure you, he accepted our relationship, Marcus continues. He wanted your mother to have someone by her side.

- Sure, I scoff. You weren’t the one seeing him so depressed when I visited. He wasn’t the same. Even though we still had good times together, I could tell he wasn’t well, and it’s all because—

- He had someone else!

My mother had to raise her voice to be heard over my outburst. Everything inside me deflates. What do you mean, he had someone else? How come I didn’t know? My father told me everything!

- He had someone else, she repeats in the face of my stunned silence. A colleague. Leila. He must have introduced her to you once, back when they were just friends. He was seeing her even before we signed the divorce papers.

Leila... I remember her. She’s right. I only saw her once when I was thirteen, yet that woman left an impression on me. She was beautiful, with almond-shaped blue eyes as lively as life itself. I can picture her perfectly with my father.

- He never had the chance to introduce her to you officially. If he was so unwell, it’s because he didn’t have you with him.

- Why didn’t he introduce her to me?

- He wanted to, but he didn’t know how you would react after how you responded to us. I told him you would react well and that it could even fix things, but he wouldn’t listen. He was afraid you wouldn’t want to see him anymore. He thought deep down, you still hoped we’d get back together...

It’s my fault. I had confided too much in him, and he got scared. I did say those things. I wanted to go back to Portugal at that time.

- Besides, their relationship wasn’t stable. They broke up often. Leila had family far away, so she visited them a lot and wasn’t around much. I think her father was very ill. If not that, she was often on missions at different times from your father. You didn’t go there much... It was hard to find the right time for you to meet her.

I hold back my words. She’s trying to soothe me, but all I can think about is how my father didn’t want me to know about his relationship... I would have accepted it... For once, my mother is right in saying it could have fixed things. I would have felt less betrayed for him. Even if I didn’t accept my mother’s relationship, it was a different story. As if she knew what I was thinking, she continues:

- He didn’t want you to resent him, like with Marcus and me. You rarely visited, so he just wanted to enjoy your company and make you understand that you were the only woman in his life.

I lower my head. Lucy's hand has been resting on my thigh since the beginning. I dare not look at her. I’m afraid I’ll disappoint her with my reaction. I feel guilty. I feel guilty for not being able to hold myself together. I feel guilty that my father might have thought I would resent him. If there’s anyone I would never resent, it’s him.

- He loved you so much, Ona. It’s clear he would always side with you and put you before anyone else. His greatest regret was letting you leave with me.

I can’t hold back my tears any longer. My greatest regret has been losing the greatest man I’ve ever known. It’s always the best ones who leave first.

- I regret it too.

- Ona... Lucy murmurs with sorrow.

I shake my head and wipe my eyes with my arm.

- I’ve lived with misunderstandings that have caused chaos throughout my life. Come on. I promised to listen to everything until the end, so why don’t you explain to me why you forced me to study what you did? To make me better, perhaps?

I’m at my limit. I can’t control myself as I’d like. In the end, learning everything at once has been harder than I thought. It’s hard to believe I was the happiest just a few minutes ago.

- I... she begins, very disturbed by my reaction.

I urge her to continue. I need to finish this. It was the last question I had to feel at peace with my mother.

- I wasn’t on good terms with your father either. Medicine helped me move forward as it required a lot of work. I thought those studies would have the same benefit for you and, on top of that, you’d have a good job... I wanted to act as a good mother, but I was wrong. You simply needed freedom, and I clearly didn’t give you enough of it.

I get up from my seat. I have all the answers I wanted. Lucy tried to pull me back into her arms, but I push her away in the heat of the moment. I don’t want her to see me like this. I leave the living room to go upstairs. On the way, I cross paths with our friends. From the looks on their faces, especially Mapi’s, I guess they must have overheard part of our conversation. It’s the least of my concerns right now. I reach my room and slam the door behind me. I’m simply a bundle of nerves about to burst. I clutch at my hair, looking around. I need to calm down; otherwise, I’m going to wreck this room.

- Ona, Lucy sighs, as she arrives.

- Leave, please. I don’t want you to see me like this.

- Don’t say that.

I clench my fists. Others in her place might have done everything to avoid me right now, but she isn’t afraid to face me. She approaches gently, giving me the chance to retract, but I don’t. I know she’s the person I need to calm me down. She wraps her arms around me delicately and then holds me tightly as I start sobbing again.

- Shh, it’ll be okay. It’s painful, I know, but you needed to know everything.

- They’ve ruined my life. They’ve... I don’t even know what I should be angry about!

I’m gasping. It’s hard to breathe against her neck, but I don’t want to pull away. She caresses my hair and kisses me tenderly.

- Don’t say that. Look how far you’ve come thanks to them... They might have made life difficult for you, but without them, you wouldn’t be as strong.

- Strong? D-do you think I’m strong right now?

- Crying isn’t a sign of weakness, baby... Everyone reacts differently. Right now, it’s a sign of accumulation.

- S-stop, please. D-don’t think I’m an idiot. And don’t defend them. I feel like I’m worthless. Like a damned kid who...

- You’re none of that, my love. Without them, you wouldn’t be the woman you are today. You’d never have learned to fend for yourself. You wouldn’t understand how essential moral values are, how to communicate, or how important family is... Just look at your sister.

I continue to cry, but I listen to her carefully. I can only find some truth in her words. My sister has always been an exception. She’s innocent. I will always put her before the rest of my family.

- You wouldn’t be as smart, as good at mediating with your loved ones...

I start to calm down, recognizing all the qualities I possess that I hadn’t realized before. It’s so much easier to see them in others.

- Without them, we’d never have met. Without them, I wouldn’t have fallen in love with such a wonderful woman... And I could go on and on about all the reasons they made their daughter so fantastic, despite their questionable choices.

I’ve stopped crying since she told me she loves me. I still have trouble breathing, but I’m starting to regain my composure and my senses.

- Without them, you wouldn’t be who you are now, darling...

- Y-you can never help yourself, can you?

She laughs softly. She knows she’s managed to calm me down. I’ll never understand how she does it. She knows me so well. I would have turned this room upside down if she hadn’t followed me. I let go as she kisses my forehead. I’m simply exhausted.

- No, she whispers. I don’t like seeing you like this, and it’s my duty to remind you how fantastic you are. You tend to forget it...

- And what about this wedding? I don’t even want to go after all this.

She sighs softly, brushing away a few hairs that had stuck to my tears on my cheeks.

- Don’t say that now. You’re speaking out of anger. Come on, lie down.

I let her guide me as she pleases. I no longer feel capable of thinking or acting. I lie down first, and she slides in behind me, wrapping me in her arms. My body relaxes completely with this contact. It’s hard to believe I pushed her away when she arrived. Now, I wouldn’t want her to leave for anything.

- I’m sorry, I murmur.

- For what reason?

I shrug as she kisses my collarbone while stroking my stomach. Her touch makes me feel safe. She makes me forget everything.

- For not being able to control myself.

She chuckles softly as she slides her hand under my shirt. It seems I’m not the only one who enjoys our skin-to-skin contact.

- No one would be able to control themselves in these circumstances. You handled it very well, my love. We don’t have to come down before we leave. You need to calm down; your heart is still racing.

As if to show me, she places her hand flat just above my chest. A shiver runs through me as this gesture lifts my shirt, but I don’t complain.

- Rest. We’ll grab something to eat on the way to the airport.

I nod and eventually turn to face her. I definitely wouldn’t be anything without her. My eyes are growing heavy. I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep well if I try now. My mind will be too busy.

- Why do I feel like the world is against me? I murmur, idly playing with a strand of her hair. Do I never get a bit of happiness?

- Am I not your happiness?

She has a hint of amusement. She managed to make me laugh. I lift my head towards her. She smiles at me, running her fingers through my hair in return. I must look awful, but I don’t have time to think as I’m enveloped by her soft lips. She’s definitely my happiness.

- Your mother just answered all the questions you had. Don’t be angry with her again. You were starting to move forward.

- You know, sometimes I think that without me on this earth, everything could have been different between them.

- Don’t say that. I think their story would have ended the same way regardless.

- You think...?

- I do, yes. Your mom may have had you sooner than she wanted, which complicated your relationship... But her professional passion wouldn’t have changed their relationship.

- Do you understand why I don’t want to accept this offer in Portland?

- Given the environment you grew up in, yes. I’m sorry I encouraged you to go there when you didn’t want to. I’m glad you decided to prioritize our relationship, but I hope it won’t be detrimental to you.

- I don’t care, I murmur, resting my head against her chest. I’m not going to abandon the only person who loves me.

- Your parents love you too, Ona.

- Yeah, right, I scoff. Neither of them knew how to trust me.

Your mom has acknowledged her mistake, and I think even before that, she cared a lot about you.

- You’re the only one who thinks that...

- She took care of you when you came back, after Feli. I know, because we talked a bit about it yesterday, before you went downstairs... She cared a lot about you, and she thanked me for finally getting you out of there...

- She cares a lot about you, I murmured.

- And it’s only because I bring you good. She’s happy there’s finally someone who values you for who you are. She regrets never taking the time to get to know you. She’s trying to make up for it now.

- I know, I sighed. It’s hard for me to accept.

- But you want to, don’t you? I know you would have loved to have a connection with her. That’s why you care so much about her taking care of Joan. You don’t want your sister to go through the same thing you did.

- Why are you asking me? You know me better than I know myself. It’s just complicated.

- You appreciated that she took care of you, but you started hating her again when she forced you to go to school...

She understood what was wrong without me needing to say anything. She really knows me better than I know myself. It’s frustrating sometimes. She understood that it was the first time my mother really cared about me and that everything fell apart when I had to leave. I didn’t understand why she had distanced herself from me by sending me to Camp Wiegman. I thought she wanted to get rid of me like a pesky stone in her shoe. It hit me hard. I felt worthless and became resentful towards her, even though I was already very resentful towards the whole world. I even sent Mapi back to her apartment a few days before I left. I felt pushed away when I needed support the most. This decision further strained our relationship. All this was before I discovered the effects of that school.

- She cares about you, Ona. You might not have agreed with all her choices, but she’s done everything she can to make up for it by helping you these past few years. Here you are, getting back on track with a chance for the future, thanks to her.

- Do you really think she cares about me?

- Of course. The first time I saw her, she was all flustered because you were disfigured... Then she seemed happy when she figured us out... I think she was glad to finally discover something about you for herself. She must have felt like she finally knew you.

- Do you think I caused all these problems?

She sighs softly. Her fingers, which had been playing with my hair, stopped for a fraction of a second.

- No, she whispers. Don’t feel guilty, baby. There’s no blame. It’s just a series of situations that brought you to this point. It’s unfortunate, but you were certainly right when you mentioned “misunderstandings” earlier. There was no communication between you.

I prop myself up on my elbows to see her.

- Promise me that our life won’t be like this.

- It won’t be.

- You sound way too confident...

- It’s because I am. You won’t make the same mistakes. Do you think it’s trivial that I’m forcing you to talk to me? You’ve too often kept things inside. It’s time for you to learn to open up. You don’t always have to keep everything to yourself.

- You’re right... So... There will never be any secrets between us. Is that okay?

- That’s okay, she giggles.

- What? Why are you laughing?

- Nothing. There have simply never been any...

I laugh as well, lying back down on her. She’s right. It’s the first time I feel so understood, and it feels good.

- Do you think we should go to this wedding?

A small mocking breath makes her chest vibrate. I lift my head to try to see her, but it’s difficult in this position.

- It would be silly not to go, wouldn’t it...? If she wanted to talk to you, it’s because she wanted you there.

- I didn’t even give them a chance to speak...

- Don’t worry. She should understand. Rest now. We’ll have plenty of time to ask her about the details of the event.

I sigh softly and close my eyes easily. It was emotionally intense, but in a way, I now feel at peace.

[lovexjoe]

Make a vampire smut where Armando kidnaps the reader

A/N: This is the 3rd request for vampire Armando and I got y’all 😫

Synopsis: Vampires can imprint 😌 Armando didn't realize what happened during a shootout when he first saw you. His heart stopped, the world slowed down and all his thoughts were consumed by you. A mix between vampires from twilight and vampires from tvd

It’s been 2 weeks since you’ve been trapped in this house with Captain’s killer. It probably had to do with the fact that Mike and Marcus made you tag along on a mission when you were suppose to be dropped off at home. Uncle Marcus had ONE JOB. Pick you up from class and drop you home, but no. With the discovery of Mike having a warlock son, you got caught in between everything. There was something odd about Armando. He made sure you had food, clothes and let’s you shower etc. He lets you roam around the house during the day time. At night though? He locks you in the basement. He was gone as soon as the sun set. He was handsome even you could admit that. It was a bit distracting since you got here, sometimes you couldn't help but stare at him. It was 9pm and you were insanely bored. You tried your luck by opening the basement door, to your surprise: it opened. Maybe this is your chance to escape? What was even out there? You looked out the window to see you were in the middle of nowhere and decided that it’s probably best to find a phone. Taking a risk in the forest is probably not the best way to survive. You rummage around the kitchen to see if you could find any device that you could use to contact your Uncle but no.

After 10 minutes of trying to search around you decided to give up. Yes you were kidnapped, but you weren't technically in danger. He is Mike's son after all he was probably just keeping you as leverage. You opened the fridge to grab some water and your heart stopped. No fucking way You heard Uncle Marcus and Mike talking about Isabel being a witch, but what in the entire fuck did she do to her son?!? The fridge was stocked up with blood bags, a few had a bite marks you didn't even want to identify. No....FUCK no. No wonder he was taking care of you, he was preparing me for dinner! You saw this bullshit on tv, but you didn't think it was actually true. You backed straight into someone and let out the first scream since you been kidnapped. Armando covers your mouth, his eyes a golden yellow with bloody veins. You were trying not to have a panic attack.

"Just relax. I was going to tell you." He slowly removes his hand from your mouth and honestly you should be heading for the fucking hills but your feet was planted in place.

"Why?!" If you were in his position you would've kept this to yourself. He constantly scans your face when he's talking to you as if he's trying to read your mind. Well I hope the fuck he can't cause I've thought some unholy shit and now im thinking of killing him!

"My mom did this to me. I don't think my dad realize that she was a vampire as well. We...we imprint on people whose suppose to be our soulmates. When I saw you during the shootout, I imprinted on you and I just took you away from everything" He leans against the island, looking at you. Wishing he could read you, but for some reason he can't.

So that confirms that you weren't leverage, but you were actually kidnapped cause he likes you. Hm. Do you scream now or later?

"If you come any closer I'll kill you!" You stated as you move quickly trying to find a way to escape. He appears in front of you and you slam full force into his chest. You grabbed a vase and threw it at him causing it to shatter all over the floor. You looked for the largest piece and cut yourself horribly trying to pick it up. You start to panic as he holds your hand filled with blood. He's gonna kill me, he gonna kill me, he's gonna kill me. He rips his shirt, creating a bandage to wrap your wound tightly. Your head starting to feel a little funny.

'A-armando I don't feel good" After that sentence you passed out into his arms.

Armando POV.

Sigh. I can't read her mind at all. She is the only person I have ever come across that I can't read her mind. Being a vampire is a curse and a blessing. The only reason I've been such a successful drug dealer is because I know what the other person is thinking. Always a step ahead, but with her? With this stupid imprint, I am lost for the first time. I find myself caring. I find myself wanting her. This shit is pathetic. During the shootout my first thing after imprinting was getting her away from the danger. Sure having her as leverage was a bonus, but now that she is under my watch I am not letting her go.

She passed out in my arms, I laid her down in my bed for the first time instead of the basement. Cleaning her wound, her blood smelled divine, I fought myself from taking a little taste. My body wouldn't be able to control itself and I'd feel too guilty if I were to hurt her. I tuck her in bed, sitting in the lounge chair in front of my bed, trying my hardest to read her mind. What could she be thinking of? ...fuck...

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: 　

The next morning you were sat on the barstool at the kitchen island. Armando was cooking breakfast. You admired his biceps in his white tank top. Your hand feeling a slight sting from last night's incident. You didn't mean to cause such a wreckage, but apart of you felt happy he took care of you last night. Waking up in his scent, under his covers did something to your core. He's leaving his mark on you and he hasn't even touched you. He's a vampire for god sake. You wanted to speak, but you couldn't find the words. After your steaming hot shower, Armando cleaned up your wound once again. Seeing you wrapped up in just a towel, your hair wet, body radiating coconut vanilla: it took his entire being not to touch you. You wanted him to touch you. It felt wrong but you wanted it.

"Armando.....I want you to kiss me" You blurted out. He turns around looking at you surprised. He turns off the stove, picking you up and carrying you over to his bed. You pulled him in for a sinful kiss. His lips are so soft. Where the fuck was this coming from? Yes you felt this, but it was wrong. Your mouth and body was already doing things before you could even think. Is he controlling you!?

Before you could even process a thought, clothes were ripped completely off and you were on top of him. His size was the biggest you ever came across, but you held him close and you rode him.

"Y/N" He moans out, his golden eyes drunk with lust as he guides your hips on top of him.

"B-bite me" You moaned out. He shook his head, he didn't want to ruin this moment by hurting you. You started to bounce up and down faster on his length.

"Bite me please! I want it!" You cried out, close to your orgasm already. In an instant, his teeth sinks into your shoulder and you let out a gasp.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

You jumped out of your sleep, sweating profusely. A set of golden eyes staring back at you seductively. Out of breath you looked around the room realizing it was still dark out, you still had on the same clothes from last night....

It was a dream....

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Sydney Adamu

I don’t want Syd to mother Carmy.

I don’t want Syd to enable Carmy.

I certainly don’t want Syd to get hurt by him.

I see Syd for who she really is, not for who I wish she was.

I want Syd to stay by Carmy’s side to help him get back up because I am convinced he will only accept her help, she’s the only powerful enough influence on him to bring change into his life, the change he needs.

I want Syd to help herself first, by being honest with herself about what she feels for him, why she keeps coming back to him and can’t let him go when she has the best chance to do it.

Then I want her to help him, not only because she is the only one who can (he already wants to help himself and wants to change, especially for her although so far he hasn’t nailed it but he will when she threatens to walk away again or he finds out about the poaching, don’t you worry about that, that’s covered) but also because it’s in her nature, she loves to help people and make people happy and she knows that if she leaves Carmy behind she will break his ❤️ and that’s putting it lightly.

I want her not to lose this new found family she raised at The Bear, her Tina, her Nat, her Cousin, her Marcus. She never had that before, she doesn’t have much of a social life or friends outside of work, she has always prioritized her career and job and she was a lonely girl before finding this Bear family, except for her dad. I want her to keep that and help them by sticking around and protecting that family that will protect her back. I trust that when she’s about to lose them, they will not let her go and will fight back to make sure she sticks around and that includes protection and support. It wasn’t there this season, that family was disconnected, but it’s NOT broken. Syd leaving and leaving Carmy alone will surely break it. I want Syd’s family to stay together because she wants and needs that too.

I want Syd to be happy and I don’t see her being happy getting her Star with Shapiro after leaving The Bear behind, that will break her ❤️

I want Syd to say the words: “I can’t take this anymore!!! You left me alone again after promising me the exact opposite!!!” To the man that must hear them. I want her to be specific and walk him through all his shitty behaviors he will not own up at first and will make excuses for, BUT will end up apologizing for and at that point I want her to tell him she doesn’t believe in his apologies anymore. I want her to cry and scream if she must, call him a piece of shit again, if that’s how she feels. I want Syd to look at Carmy straight in the eye when she tells him all this. Or keep it together while she spills this tea, whatever she feels like at that moment, doesn’t matter. What matters is that she does NOT spare his life, I want her to be brutal with him. Carmy Berzatto has to die for Sydcarmy to be born.

And then I want her to stick around to see the effects her words will have on him.

I want Carmy to make her happy because she deserves it.

[kalechipswithasideofkale]

my adrenaline has gone down finally so i feel i can give my thoughts on this season

no more faks! no more! please!

i think the series is taking inspiration from different art movements and genres. season one - surrealism?, season two - modernism?, season three - baroque? im not well versed on this stuff but i definitely noticed they use different forms of art to make the seasons feel different from one another

piggybacking off the earlier bulletin; i think thats also why this season feels like all flash and no substance. whatever movement or era they decided to do with season three is very ou la la oui oui i zam an artist bonjour /nm its very different from the movements they went with in the past seasons. this one feels serious and fancy smancy

i still think they’re going to go through with sydcarmy and this season just solidifies it. syd and carmy are severly mentally ill with issues they need to work out. they dont handle stress and expectations well if at all.

i think some of the things being said by the characters are being taken at face value specifically carmy calling claire peace. i dont think the writers are writing claire to be a source of peace for carmy; hes just so in denial and confused about his emotions he knows he supposed to feel peace from claire but cant figure out why he doesnt

i missed marcus sweeps and tina in this season so much. and syd! i was excited for sweeps to go to wine school only for it to be a one off thing. the tina episode was good but thats the only thing i can think of from the top of my head that she stood out in. marcus’ mom died? but it feels like she didnt die at all? like the weight of his moms death isnt being felt in his character and that made me really sad. i wanted a little more with syd and marcus with their moms :/

im not angry at carmy somehow? i just feel this deep sadness because he is so unlike himself. my initial frustrations with the season made it hard for me to look at his character. now that ive calmed down, he just makes me sad. like thinking about him makes me feel like a wet sausage dude he needs serious help and im scared he’s gonna do something very bad in this next season/part

i was really hoping there would be more parallels between new york carmy and current syd. they might explore it in season 4 and i really hope they do!

where tf was everyone else in the emergency room and why was it the two faks. there is no dissection in the world that will make me okay with those losers being there im sawry

syd being the first person sugar called and claire being the last mhm yup 🙂‍↕️

a good chunk of claire and carmys scenes being muted or cool colors once again!

RICHIE AND HIS DAUGHTER AA!! i wish they had an entire episode dedicated to them theyre so cute!

theres something to be said about loneliness and isolation this season? again i would need to rewatch the season. something something carmy pushing syd away something something nat fearing giving birth because of her mom something something syd having a breakdown and isolating herself from the rest of the fam something something

pete ❤️

chris you have reached ur limit on white male characters enough is enough theres NO MORE ROOM

ngl i actually liked seeing john cena on my screen yall pls

why are we so close to everyones face i zont like zat at all

i thought they were going to bring louis back and got so excited!!! BRING BACK LOUIS

they wrap up the claire storyline by season 4 or part three?? whatever theyre doing idk

LUCA!!!!!!

as much one sided beef i have with jlc she delivered i crode very hard

backseating the characters of color is very lame and bogus! i hated it! what happened to tinas friends she met at school? does ebra not have family? syd and her dad? marcus and his roommate? so many characters they could introduce from sydney marcus tina ebra fuck even angel and manny but they insist on introducing characters that have ties to the berzattos. i hate it! i really do!

syds apartment? where did you go fren….

i wish they were more artsy fartsy with carmys internal struggles give me cringe film student vibes please ill take anything

FUCK CICERO he didnt do anything but PISS ME OFF >:(

why didnt they have syd work out the economics (or whatever tf that computer dude did do). didnt she do something like that in season one? i guess since cicero called him it makes sense

richie and nat are so adorable i love them!!!!

overall pretty mediocre season. it was okay for a show like the bear. i don’t agree with having an entire season dedicated to build up! or atleast in the way they’ve done it in season 3. season 1 was a prologue for the entire show yet it still felt like a complete season. alot of the things that went down in season three either could’ve been compressed into a shorter span of time or they could’ve gotten more episodes (as if its that easy lol but the pacing wouldn’t have suffered as much if the season was longer). um decent season? i dont hate it! i dont love it either. like i said it feels soulless and maybe thats the intention? idk man 😔

i will most definitely be seated for season four TRUST

[formyloveoflove]

Characters I Would've Liked to See More than the Faks in S3

I learned too fak'ing much about that family in S3. I loved the Faks in S2. Their increased screentime felt like an over-compensation. Much of the comedy that I loved in S1 came from the staff interactions. The feeling of an ensemble was truly missed for me.

But without further ado and in no particular order-

1. Marcus

Marcus Brooks, I am so sorry that the writers didn't give your story the necessary space it truly needed. You were the only child of a single mother, and you watched her die. I wish we could've seen more of your grief. The little glimpses we saw - your eulogy speech, the way you were inspired to make a dish to honor her, and your thinking about legacy - were so beautiful, but it felt like it had no place to breathe.

The glossing over this tragic loss, the fumbling of showcasing Black Catholic influences (sidenote: did you know that Chicago is home to the biggest African American Catholic population), and the diminishing of his grief were some lows of the season. I would've loved to see more of Marcus dealing with the loss of a parent because no matter how "prepared" you are, that shit will knock you off your feet.

2. Sweeps

If we needed a break from the melancholy of the main plot, I would've loved to see Mr. Gary “Sweeps” Woods go to wine school. It could've been in clips, similar to Tina going to culinary school in S2. Some comedic slip-ups, or maybe somebody else recognized him from his baseball days, or maybe he messed around and got too drunk. Better yet: he and some fellow sommelier get drunk. We've seen this character for three seasons, and we barely see him.

I did enjoy his monologue in Legacy and thought it was very fitting.

3. Manny and Angel

I remember seeing them for a split second in the 30-minute montage S3 E3 "Doors." They are truly the unsung heroes, and it would be good to see them for some comic relief. Maybe they're pranksters? Maybe they could've been the reason the teaspoons and forks were missing. Or maybe they could've been tasked with counting how many come through.

What's their dynamic? What are their personalities? Three seasons, and they feel like cameos.

4. Thee Adamus

One of the things that I wanted from S3 was some more Sydney's mom, and while I was delighted to see she has her mom as her lock screen, I wanted more. I love Syd's dynamic with her Dad whose unyielding support can come off a little worrisome to his baby girl. But Dreamer! Daughter x Practical! Father hits close to home for me. And the Adamus have a healthier relationship with loss and grief, and I want to know more about that process.

When I say more of the Adamus, I mean I want to see why and how Sydney became Sydney. I wanted to see their family dynamics. Why does Syd like to cook? Why is Syd avoidant?

Plus, this was a season about mothers, goshdarnit. More mother content, please.

5. Ebra

Ebra is so funny to me. Like I'm begging on my knees for more Ebra content. He's so cryptic and genuine in a way that only older Black men sharing snapshots of their trauma are. In S1, he's very attentive when it comes to the younger staff members, like when he was sensitive to Marcus gaining confidence in his skills and when he read Sydney's review for the whole kitchen to see.

One of my critiques of S2 was that they just let Ebra fall by the waistside. They didn't fully commit to his journey to accepting change as an older professional. This season, we barely got him at all. I would've had him at least show up to Syd's party. Maybe even via Facetime with the camera all up his nose because he doesn't understand the mechanics just yet.

[sleepyfireball]

I loved Season 3 of Bridgerton so much

I loved Colin and Penelope's romance, how it was evident she was still in love with him and yet was trying to be practical. Not to mention the fact that he was down bad after one (1) kiss, like she got him good with that one! Also, love the fact that Colin was trying to get Penelope to not be herself and yet it was by being herself that she attracted Debling (decent guy through and through, low key thinking him and Cressida might be a good match) and Colin's jealousy was phenomenal, just the yearning, amazing. And of course, the carriage scene, damn did it deliver or what.

I loved seeing Francesca in a more prominent role and I'm so pleased with Hannah's portrayal. I was a little worried that it wouldn't feel like Francesca but she just nailed it. Francesca and John were so cute together, just sitting there silently confusing the hell out of the Bridgertons.

I enjoyed Violet immensely this season. I'm so glad that the writers are showing how she has learned from previous seasons, especially with Eloise and her role in society. I think Violet isn't entirely sure how best to help Francesca because she is quite different from Violet herself and from her own sisters, but it was evident from the scene of Francesca playing the sheet music that John got her that Violet recognises how happy he makes Francesca. Violet also clued on about Colin's predicament very quickly, thank goodness otherwise we would have needed another 5 years for Colin to work up the courage to tell Penelope his feelings. Ruth Gemmell really shone in her scenes where she was advising any of her children, but particularly with Colin, amazing, no notes.

I adored the scenes between Marcus Anderson and Violet. They had a really palpable chemistry, but they aren't going to fast with it, which I appreciate, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how their story continues to develop into Part 2. Ruth Gemmell really made it feel realistic with the small hope of more while still primarily focusing on her children and not getting carried away too quickly.

Queen Charlotte was phenomenal this season alongside Lady Danbury. They've really played into the friendship that was established in QC: ABS which was a wonderful call because these two actors are amazing together. I only wished we had gotten more Lady Danbury and Penelope scenes, to establish that relationship, but perhaps it will come in Part 2.

Marcus Anderson is an enigma, especially with whatever happened between him and Lady Danbury, I really hope he is as good a guy as he comes across as, because him and Violet have really got something cute going on. Also, Lady Danbury can either keep her mouth shut about it, or be confronted by Violet about loving her dad. Lady Danbury really doesn't have a leg to stand on here.

Eloise, this season, made perfect sense to me. She is finally starting to embrace a little of what the Season can offer and I wasn't expecting to like her and Cressida's friendship at all, but it does seem to have helped Eloise a little, especially after her falling out with Penelope. I'm pleased they didn't go for the outright villain route of her revealing Whistledown even accidentally. I think by the end of the season Eloise and Penelope will hopefully be friends again, or at least something nearing it, because while Cressida has helped Eloise, it is clear the Eloise's morals feel a bit torn about this due to Cressida's actions, particularly towards Penelope.

It was interesting to see more of Cressida this season and some of the pressure she finds herself under due to her family. I also appreciate that the writers are like we'll explain why she does it, but it doesn't excuse her actions.

I think the Featheringtons continue to be comedic relief, which is highly entertaining. The Featheringtons may not be my favourite family and their treatment of Penelope is reproachable but when it is just Portia, Prudence and Phillipa, the entertainment is amazing. Polly Walker, particularly, did amazingly in her scenes.

I'm not sure how to feel about Benedict and Lady Tilley Arnold, it felt a little unnecessary for Benedict to fall into bed with another person and Lady Tilley certainly seems to be questionable in some way, especially with her lawyer.

I liked seeing the Mondrich's, even if it felt like their story was a little unnecessary. Like we've had stories about trying to fit in society, I feel like the writers could have used the time to explore the other stories they had, but I didn't dislike their scenes.

[silversodas]

The Fairly Odd Parents: A New Wish Observations

What actually sold me on giving this series a solid chance, was the theme song, why? Because for me it showed what the series is attempting to be, something that’s paying homage to the source material while being it’s own thing and knowing what it wants to be.

The original theme song is categorized as Electric Swing or Light Jazz. This new theme song sounds like straight up Swing and it SLAPS!

The Set Up

So Hazel Wells moves to the city with her parents for her Dads job and at the same time her older brother and best friend Antony has left for college. Leaving Hazel overwhelmed but still trying to put on a brave face for her family. Not long after arriving they are visited by their new next door neighbors

Cosmo and Wanda are masquerading as a retired human couple

Lol one of the gifts in the welcome basket Cosmo gives them is a jar of pennies. In some places it’s a thing to leave pennies as gifts for fairies, I wonder if Cosmo thought it was a custom human gift

The concept of the parents are pretty interesting, especially their jobs.

Angela is a therapist and author, with all of the non self awareness fairy world had going on her insight could definitely be interesting if she somehow finds out. she is also pretty open minded and non judgmental, not being off put by Cosmo and Wanda’s weird behavior and inviting them in

Marcus is a paranormal scientist, which instantly makes Cosmo and Wanda nervous but what makes him interesting is that he didn’t go in the direction I thought he was going. I thought he was going to go full FOP writing fashion and him basically say he was looking for fairies. But no, he is just wanting to learn the unexplained and mostly about ghost. I don’t know the fact that he is presented as a friend to Cosmo and Wanda who could be a potential obstacle because of the interest that are apart of his character is a lot more interesting then if he was presented as a blatantly obvious obstacle and that’s his only purpose as a character. ( not saying it was bad when FOP did it, they did it in a way that was funny just not to compelling)

Hazel figures out they are magic because both Cosmo and Wanda are piss poor at hiding it but Hazel actually completely drops it after being unable to get her parents to see it

Angela and Marcus actually make pretty good foils for Cosmo and Wanda they are both just completely normal people who highlight Cosmo and Wanda’s colorfulness just as they highlight Angela and Marcus’s normalcy. Hazel, Marcus, and Angela seem to be emotionally intelligent people and it makes them enjoyable and honestly is refreshing

This girl has more emotional maturity then I ever dreamed of having at 10, she keeps her brave face until she hears that Antony can’t come visit till the holiday brake, she has an understandable brake down and her parents feel really bad they are having to change so much so fast for her.

She almost runs away until Cosmo and Wanda catch her (which is interesting because when she passed them on her way up stairs they where to busy with their mail to pay attention to her, but when she is about to run away their full attention snapped to her. Their “child is about to do something stupid”senses must have been tingling) she relents and vents to them about her troubles and that she just wanted to see her brother.

Cosmo and Wanda seem to have a Cathartic moment in realizing that Hazel needed help and that they realized that they were ready to be Godparents again. It was this moment I was like “yeah, you guy’s definitely retired because letting go of Timmy hurt you”

It’s when after everything is resolved and Hazel visits their vary magical and whimsical apartment (I bought the episodes on YouTube but they wouldn’t let me take screen shots) that they reveal that they had been on a 10,000 year sabbatical through time and space during their retirement. They don’t bring up Timmy, just say that they used to be Godparents to kids but then retired for 10,000 years (and no it’s not 10,000 years into the future, they were just time traveling). They actually nervously ask Hazel if she would consider being their Godkid which she enthusiastically agrees too. Don’t make pacts with fairies kids

How it’s going so far

Something interesting to note that while they never bring up Timmy, he kinda haunts the background I think they still have some unprocessed grief for Timmy that may get unpacked. I herd this show is supposed to get an overarching story and after seeing a few episodes I can tell that it’s staying consistent that it’s not completely episodic even if it’s a slow build ( as slow as it’s allowed to be anyway)

It looks like their human personas are their default disguises, that has the potential to be interesting in future episodes

I can tell that Hazel is still not 100% close with Cosmo and Wanda right off the bat, she is still getting to know them, like it was actually so enduring to watch her formally thank them for playing with her. Cosmo and Wanda are also trying to ease themselves in for her sake, but it’s clear that even though they are out of practice they are all in for this little girl and are in Godparent mode. Wanda is never not in Mom mode, and Cosmo already knows all of her special interests off the top of his head in the short time he has known her.

I don’t know, I just saw that a lot of people have been “rightfully” cautious about this show or have written it off, and just wanted to share some things that I thought made it interesting and made it worth giving a look

There are some who are a bit hopeful because one of the writers for infinity train is on the writing team so who knows

[pilot-boi]

What are everyone’s favourite cereals in RRAYENNBOW? And you can include Qrow and mercury if you want to

And I SHALL include them

Ruby: Special K. She doesn’t actually have that much of a sweet tooth, and she’s gotta stay fit. Plus it has strawberries and turns the milk pink

Weiss: Doesn’t really eat cereal (coffee or death) but if she has to choose, probably Chex. She just thinks they’re neat

Blake: Gonna go with Honey Bunches of Oats. First of all, bees. Second of all, they remind her of the good times on the road with granola bars and what not

Yang: Kix. I know she’s the punch girl, but come on. Tell me she wouldn’t love Kix. Wish I had more to say about this one, but I just feel it in my bones

Jaune: Used to be Pumpkin Pete’s, but then ya know. Also he never really liked it that much, he just wanted the hoodie really badly. So i don’t know why but i really see him liking Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Pyrrha: Life (jkjk) Health nut that she is, it’s not one of the super sugary ones. But it’s also not like… bran flakes. Unironically think she’d really love Honey Nut Cheerios

Nora: Fucking Sugar Blast Supremes or something, let’s be real. She hoards the cereals from Halloween time, Count Chocula, and Boo Berry, and Frankenberry. Just the most synthetic shit you’ve ever seen

Ren: Raisin Bran. Because he’s a monster. He actually really likes it, but he hates the texture of the raisins in the milk, so he painstakingly removes every raisin, eats all the cereal, and then eats all the raisins

Oscar: He didn’t get a lot of cereal brands out on the farm, lots of morning oatmeal and eggs and whatnot. But once he made it to the big city, he absolutely fell in love with Froot Loops. And yes, he gets teased relentlessly for liking the most kiddy cereal ever

Emerald: Think she’d really like Apple Cinnamon Cheerios. Or just normal Cheerios. In milk, or just plain, she loves those things. They were cheap to buy (or steal) so they were one of the few cereals she actually had

Mercury: Reese’s Puffs. With his dad, it was only healthy food, or nothing at all. But he’d see the commercials on TV. So after killing Marcus, I kid you not, Mercury ate nothing but Reese’s Puffs for like a week. And then he was sick. But it was worth it. And yes, he knows the entire rap

Qrow: Again, like Weiss, coffee or death. But I feel like he’d also like Honey Nut Cheerios. I really don’t know why, they’re so un-Qrow. But maybe that’s exactly why he’d like them

[fountainpenguin]

Liveblog remarks from my FOP: A New Wish re-binge (Up to "Lost and Founder's Day" since that's the last one on Netflix right now).

Liveblog opinions under the cut. If you don't want to see personal opinions or spoiler-filled references to later episodes, this post may not be for you.

- Not a liveblog technically, but I was shocked and delighted to glimpse ChalkZone as I was navigating to watch this show. Also, apparently all the FOP seasons (including Season 0) are on Paramount, which surprises me because I thought they only had up to Season 3.

- Forgot one of Hazel's early lines is describing herself as "New car smell." That's so funny...

- I really like Hazel doubling down (to Cosmo and Wanda) about how hard she worked to not complain when her parents uprooted her life and moved her to Dimmadelphia. I'd love to explore more of her pre-Dimmadelphia life.

- ?? Why did it take me this long to realize when Hazel told Tony the ant that they were the second "ant tony" she knew, she was referring to Antony? <- Because of how she pauses, I've always thought she had an Aunt Tony.

- The wish punch cards puzzle me so much. Why is it a big deal that one wish is "on Cosmo and Wanda" instead of Hazel? It's not like they charge her money for wishes, so what's the implication?

- Why are there so many kids playing VR games in the cafeteria?

- "You can't make us test prep during lunch! Isn't that illegal or something?" - Crying...

- Principal Krentz is so funny. Just in general.

- Extremely concerned about Angela and Marcus knowing (I presume) that Hazel was hosting a sleepover, but never coming down to check on her.

Do... do they NOT know Hazel is having a sleepover? HAZEL??

- I think I said this on my first watch, but Hazel acting confident during her Broadway show and then turning shy when everyone claps for her is adorable.

- Stuart / Hannibal replying "Yes" to Hazel's question of whether their mom often throws away trash inside a giant rug... ???

- I love Jasmine's backpack design (It has a cute flower on it).

- Dev licking the fan blades of his au pair drone brings me so much concern. Why did he do that.

- Marcus putting hours of research into how to do his daughter's hair is my everything...

- Wanda and Cosmo sitting in the corner when Diana is talking to Hazel... Wanda's just reading a book... Girl, your godchild is getting harassed by talking hair.

I think Wanda's reading the same book Cosmo later pulls out during "Weird Science."

- Why did Marcus pin bows to his eyes.

- I think I said this in my first liveblog, but it cracks me up that Hazel's response to losing her hair was to admire her bald head and how low-maintenance it was.

- Ah, maybe "Trial & Hair-or" is supposed to be the 'Episode 13 when Cosmo is a horse,' which he references in "Battle of the Dimmsonian." I did go looking a while back, but I must have missed this one.

- Trev and Bev are so funny... The puppy squeaks they make when Diana is yelling at Hazel... Nerds.

- Shout-out to Cosmo in this series and the many books he has on him at any one time. Specifically, I'm referring to his physics book in "Weird Science" because I am a "Cosmo loves physics books" truther ("77 Secrets of the Fairly OddParents Revealed").

- How did I miss Kennueth blushing and acting evasive every time he mentions the fairy that visited him when he was inside the whale? Okay...

- At one point, I drafted a post about Prime Meridian and the parallels to Dev and Hazel... I might go dig that up. I have opinions about it...

- Does Dale know Dev owns a sword?

Alternatively, if it's not Dev's, do I dare ask what childcare service the au pairs are supposed to provide with that sword?

^ Face of a man who has some questions.

- I would love to know what's inside Hazel's closet considering she owns a wardrobe where she actually keeps her clothes. Be honest... Did your dad put a machine in there to protect you?

- I remembered Hazel owned copies of her same sweater and jeans, but somehow I missed that she has like 3 dozen of the same pair of shoes. Girl knows what she likes.

- I still think maybe Cosmo shouldn't be putting on a 10-year-old girl's clothes, but I respect the presumed innocence that led him to explore new fashion options.

- I don't think Dale can drive and that's why he lets the helicopters crash to the ground.

- Dale's "buy one-time use items from me to save the planet' presentation is horrific. How on earth did he sway people into buying from him? Fascianting.

- Do Tina Churner and Mayor Teddy Bear share a voice actor?

They do not :(

- ???? The Pe-Az voices are changed in the Netflix version from the one I first watched. Major whiplash.

There were minor details in the early episodes I didn't remember on my original watch, and I wonder if anything else changed. Probably not because that would be a lot of work, but who knows.

- I still think it's clever that most kids show off the Dimmadome logo on their phones, but Hazel has a ladybug phone case that hides hers. She doesn't care to flaunt the branding.

- I say this knowing full-well that taking over Fairy World and removing pizza from the universe are different levels of life endangerment, but something something, Guzman announcing that Dev "doing the right thing in the end" counted as kindness in "Peace of Pizza" vs. Wanda in the finale making a point to emphasize how little "goodness" Dev has in him despite him doing the right thing in the end.

Something something, Wanda turning on Dev for endangering her bio son, but she was happy to let Timmy spend seasons romantically pursuing a girl who blatantly tried to murder him and cut him into pieces... Hey, Wanda, can I ask about that?

I'm glad the danger senses are tingling, and I support that, but these really are two different-tone shows, huh? Certain aspects are so wild to compare...

It's interesting to rewatch some episodes and remember all the foreshadowing I thought I saw (Ex: Hazel telling Kennueth he should "rewrite his story" and "make things right" with Duckworth [Dev]) and how "hard left" the finale shifts tones from what I thought we were being set up for. Fingers crossed for a Season 2... I really want to know where they wanted to go with that Kennueth & Duckworth forgiveness moment, because apparently it wasn't the finale.

- I'd love to learn more about Duckworth as a character, because it's very clear Dev relates to him on a deep level (even tearing up when Kennueth tells him that he forgives him for what he's done, and Dev whispering "Duckworth would have loved to hear that").

Including a scene like that in the finale would've been a cool callback to this moment, and I was totally expecting it given the other parallels between Dev, Hazel, and Prime Meridian, so I hope we get that in Season 2.

- So funny Dev's the only one in the know to truly recognize Kennueth, but he also, like... doesn't question why a manga character is in the real world. So curious. Did he think he was a cosplayer? Did his mind get hit with magic so he can recognize Kennueth, but not make the connection that says "Hey, this makes no sense" ?

Why didn't they cut the Project H plot from the final script if it drops off immediately after its reveal... It makes me so sad. It totally sets you up for expecting Dale to do villain stuff, but he doesn't :c I need that man to get told off for stalking a 10-year-old girl. Please Dale, I want you to screw around in Season 2... I need to see you face consequences. Dev is a minor, but you know better than that!!

My mind is brimming 24/7 with a montage of Dale trying to sneak close to Hazel and inviting her parents over for dinner or following her to restaurants and bake sales. I cannot express how much I want to do an animatic full of Dale hiding under tables like a weasel.

- I really hope I get to see the Pixies in Season 2, especially with how much set-up they did regarding Hazel's love for dull paperwork, plus Irep's model having a square head. I'd love to know how Hazel and H.P. interact. Yet another man I do not want around children! - It drives me wild how much set-up there was in one plot direction, including the original takeover plot intended to involve the Pixies - whose thing IS taking over Fairy World when the Anti-Fairies have never really been into that - and !! I didn't !! get !! to see it !! The finale's hard turn plot-wise drives me bananas, and I really want to see if a Season 2 makes me fall in love with it. - I wonder if the OG finale plan got to the script-writing phrase or if the Pixies' appearance was scrapped before it was written? I would LOVE to know how Dev behaves in that Pixie-themed finale (where Dale was supposed to be the big bad) and if that finale still would have felt out of place to me... H.P., my beloved... Save me, H.P. I want to love the finale, but if feels weird on so many levels... I think I'll like it someday in retrospect, but please let Season 2 offer me that chance. I don't wanna write the post-episode life myself- I want to know what THEIR plans were.

- Shout-out to Guzman assigning homework partners in a way that breaks up couples who went to the Under the Sea dance.

- Why does Cookie keep feeding Furry stuff he shouldn't eat, like cameras? Girl...

Alternatively, why does Furry keep eating her stuff? Boy...

- Cosmo showing up in the conference room with no shoes...

- Very sweet that Hazel refers to Puppet Hazel as "old friend" and greets it warmly.

- Honorable mention to Puppet Hazel's consistent it/its pronoun usage in all its episodes.

- Watching Hazel overly enthuse about Dev in "Lost and Founder's Day" hits harder after "Stuck In My Head" where she was overly paranoid about losing her friends... Tell us how you really feel.

- Dale and his magical invisible earpiece... I see why I didn't pick up on the fact that his "Eat a lizard" comment was directed to his phone on my first watch.

- The way Dev talks big about his dad vs. the way he deliberately un-machos his dad when we see his thoughts, my beloved... I had a whole post drafted about this, but I must have deleted it because I can't find it now.

- I like how when Dale walks offscreen, you can still hear the jingle of his spurs. I looked it up at one point and I'm pretty sure he shouldn't be wearing those in public if he's not riding a horse.

- Does Dale re-sell Vicky's bear toys?? I'm pretty sure the designs match, in which case it is INCREDIBLY funny that the au pairs - presumably programmed by Dale - make a special effort to call them out on as poorly constructed toys. I'm not sure they've done that for any other object.

Is Dale keeping tabs on Vicky even though we know Vicky wasn't keeping tabs on him? Horrifying! :)

- When the scene cuts to Dev inside Dale's command tent, he has popcorn, implying he wandered the festival before looping back to see his dad.

- I like how a Founder's Day booth is selling wolfish hats that look like the one worn by a Dimmadome ancestor.

- Dale being incredibly high in the air and still managing to set off a smoke bomb by hurling it down as hard as he could - near a crowd of people - fills me with terror.

- Lol, the shadow of Hazel's hat glows gold because it's covered in lights.

- Oh geez, the Dimmadome house isn't just shaped like Doug's hat, but it's also shaped like his face...... Dale, c'mon, man.

- So curious about the decorative pillows on Dev's bed. I assume the au pairs make it for him, but it's an interesting detail.

- This is already something I took into account for my Dev character study, but I can't stop thinking about how the only time we see Dev's room in a state less than perfect cleanliness and perfection, it's when there's books and of toys at the end of his bed he was trying to distract himself with before giving in to misery at the end of "Lost and Founder's Day..." It haunts me...

That is all.