#I wish I could live without you
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mamulgogi · 1 year ago
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Redraw of my favourite panel from issue #21 of Posehn & Duggan's run
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zorionbbq · 2 months ago
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party chat #56: nanba's transformation
(transcript both in alt text and below)
[image description: five-page comic of a "party chat" conversation from yakuza 7.
beneath the scaffolding of a construction site, nanba holds a bottle of tea and asks "hey, you think i've changed at all since we met?"
the rest of the party, standing or crouching on the side of the path, turn to look at him.
"hm? have you?" ichiban tilts his head, hand on chin, and lets saeko pick from his chip bag. "i dunno, lemme think..."
adachi leaps to his feet, splashing his can of beer and surprising saeko. "got it!"
adachi snaps his fingers with a triumphant smile. "you changed how you part your hair!"
"huh?" nanba reaches toward the back of his own head. "nope, it's still the same..." adachi sheds a single tear.
hand raised high, saeko announces "right! your prescription changed!" ichiban taps a canned coffee on his palm in an "i get it!" motion. "what, are you trying to be funny now!? and that's wrong, too!" nanba retorts.
"okay!" han looks serious. "you changed the frames on your glasses!"
"you started wearing contacts instead of glasses!" zhao finger-guns with a grin.
"will you quit it with the glasses thing!?" nanba snaps at an unfazed, juicebox-sipping han. "and does it look like i'm wearing contacts!?" he gestures at himself. zhao smugly bites an onigiri, still squatting on the ground.
adachi frowns around a pocky. "huh? then what's changed?"
"never mind... sheesh." nanba turns his back on the group.
a view of the vending machine and soccer field across the way. "i just thought maybe i'd grown a bit cheerier since i met you guys."
"that's all." nanba doesn't see the party staring in shocked silence.
saeko, han, and zhao exchange fond looks.
nanba chugs his tea as ichiban approaches.
ichiban bumps his drink hand against nanba's.
"well, we already knew that, man." ichiban grins so wide his eyes shut.
"yeah, you smile a lot more than you did before, nan-chan." saeko concurs, offering him her chip bag.
nanba looks up, eyes wide. "ichiban... you guys..."
a hand lands on nanba's shoulder.
arm slung over his friend's back, ichiban cheerfully assures "and i noticed that you got some new lenses on your glasses, too." nanba's face falls.
the party loses it. saeko collapses on adachi, both doubled over in laughter, zhao cackles as his glasses fall off, and han clutches his head in despair.
"i didn't change anything about my glasses!" nanba roars. on the ground, a plastic bag of leftover snacks reads "#56 nanba's transformation".
end image description]
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i-may-be-an-emu · 17 days ago
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whenever sfth promote their tickets on their story or post about it or whatever I’m always like YES WHOOO AWESOME but i CANT
I WANT tickets that’s not the ISSUE there’s an OCEAN in the way >:(((
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fumifooms · 4 months ago
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Dungeon lord Chilchuck
What would his wish as a dungeon lord be? What would he be like? Headcanons & speculation post for fun. But I’ll start with analytic lead up because that’s always fun for me, though feel free to skip and skim.
When it comes to what Chilchuck’s dungeon lord desires could/would be like we have mainly 3 hints: His nightmare, his succubus and what the winged lion says to him.
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Why: — From what we see nightmares are based on the person’s worst fears and insecurities, both Laios’ and Marcille’s nightmare were closely tied to their dungeon lord wishes (Laios’ dream monster being summoned to crush the ghosts of relationships that represented the pressure to fit in and belong, Marcille seeking control over death and aging through magic to avoid loss), the fuel behind their desire/goal if you will. Fear and deep-seated desires are seemingly closely tied, something also supported by Thistle and Mithrun’s reigns as dungeon lords (Thistle proving his worth through fulfilling his given duty + protecting his loved ones, being listened to instead of having to listen, Mithrun escaping rigid two-faced elven society and living in a wonderland where he has no enemies and he’s loved, free from everyone he knew yet propped up by the person symbolizing his brother being chosen over him, the bastard child).
— I’ve talked about the significance I assign to the succubi often by now, but rundown: What we see of each character is all very telling if you care to listen, it shows not only someone’s "ideal form" but what they want from it. Izutsumi’s is familial, offering a hug and comfort, Marcille’s is romantic with a character she knows and loves, offering a kiss on a hand and a connection regardless of how distant it actually is, and Laios’ is platonic, arguable at first but then Laios’ fear of judgement is placated and he is offered the picture perfect friend group that accepts his interest (if you want my full look at Laios’ succubus go here). They take on the most alluring form, most ideal person of their victim, even uncovering deep subconscious desires, so precisely and effectively to the point it leaves victims physically frozen before the object of their desire. Succubi and the demon are themselves tied in lore and it’s easy to see how similar their core skill are. Succubi don’t give a good idea of what a character would wish for on their own but they certainly give hints on what they crave, regardless of how you want to read it.
— Last bit is self-explanatory. To placate Chilchuck and win his compliance over, the monster that reads your soul like an open book offers to give him something specific. But! It’s also important to remember that the lion isn’t offering to fulfill Chilchuck’s dream world wish here, it’s a second prize, because his goal with what he promised Laios is that they’d stay in this world, away from everyone and everything else. Chilchuck wants to get away but is kept back, and it’s here the lion placates him with "hey it’s okay! You can’t do that but I can still give you this! This is enough right? It’ll make everything easier on you".
What each bit says: — Long version in another post. Tldlr: His daughters and family are obviously important to him, and this reinforces that he takes on the role of protector a lot, he’s constantly worried for his party members’ lives and implicitly his family’s. Safety and stability, both economical and otherwise, are his core values and goals, and he berates both others and himself if someone fails on those fronts. Here, there’s the fear of not being enough, of not having been able to protect, and of course of loss.
— Chil’s succubi are obviously sexual, and not only that but agressively and straightforwardly so. It’s not like Marcille’s where there’s personality involved, all they do is give him sultry looks and pretty smiles before jumping on him. His succubi aren’t like Izutsumi’s, always the same exact person and appearance, so it’s not someone but an appealing general idea. The idea of a sexual being he can regard as simply a gorgeous piece of meat and a good time no strings attached. In my interpretation, especially with my reading of Laios’ succubus where even with deep-seated desires negative emotions can be too intense to effectively freeze a victim, I think this doesn’t contradict his character. Relationships have been painful to him in the past, in the succubus scene when his wife gets mentioned his immediate reaction is to yell "Don’t bring her up now!", like with his habit of drinking and as a tallman liking his senses feeling dulled, it’s about not having to feel emotions with how difficult they are to deal with sometimes and just feeling good, or at least not having to think, for a while. If a succubus showcases someone’s ideal connection with an ideal person, then Chilchuck’s is with a pretty person that doesn’t stir any negative memory or drama, someone low stakes and low maintenance that doesn’t require him to manage or talk out feelings because there’s none involved in the first place.
— Once more, wife and family are important! He does long for his family, not only his wife but his daughters, and vice versa. This suggests not only that he wants good relationships with them but that he wants them to be with him, a family life. Far from the cut communication they all more of less have during canon, and perhaps far from their life pre-canon when he worked away from home a significant amount of time. We’ve seen recreations of people by the winged lion before with doppelgangers and monsters (naga), and though he claims he can make satisfying imitations, what we’ve seen is that they base themselves on the best memories of that person, like with Marcille’s dad, or twist behavior to be more pleasant, like Mithrun’s lover (and possibly twist appearances depending on the person’s view of them, but that’s Mithrun analysis). The line does suggest Chilchuck would want his family members as they are in reality and not idealized versions, but the circumstances are chaotic and urgent enough in the scene (and again the lion isn’t fulfilling Chilchuck’s wish but trying to make him content for Laios’) that it could just be the winged lion saying what he needs to to convince him the fastest possible, and like we see with Laios that can crumble to give way to deeper or more complex desires.
On top of that we just have general info on Chil. How does Chilchuck deal w his issues? What does he like to do? He likes alcohol and ignoring his problems. We have to remember there is a split between what someone would consciously wish for and what their soul uncontrollably irrationally craves. As always with Dunmeshi, there’s a narrative of irrational deep-seated desires vs active wants, what you crave vs what you strive for, what you dream of vs what’s actually good for you, the animal vs the human inside you, heart vs mind. Chilchuck craving a harem of hot babes in his fantasies but wanting his family life & wife back again is not mutually exclusive. You may crave becoming a monster and tasting what humans are like a little but still want to save the world & your friends more.
Btw can we adress the irony of him terrified of being the last one alive, of being left by his daughters and wife, of having left and coming back home one day to see everything gone or rampaged, yet not caring about dying of liver failure himself, knowing every time that he enters a dungeon there’s a real risk he may not come out. Die somewhere I can’t see you. I prefer leaving you than being left behind. He’s selfish and shortsighted like that… Chilchuck is selfless in many ways of course, but perhaps also due to his own relationship with his parents, he often undermines the effects he has on others in his relationships, both the good and the bad (he talks himself down about being cowardly and greedy yes, but never hints at his bad health habits, alcoholism and starving himself, may have affected his loved ones, doesn’t question his wife falling into a bad mood the night before she left, and talks about the possibility of dying here and there very casually, though obviously he tries his best to stay alive when it doesn’t concern his health).
Chilchuck king of "Let me just avoid and ignore my problems surely they’ll go away, things might work out and if they don’t well tough luck I’ll survive and I probably deserve it anyways". If I don’t look at it it will dissapear <3 Why care when you can simply not think about it.
You might not understand Mister "my love will stay strong through months of work travel and also 4 years of separation" and Mister "well idk my siblings and me are kinda strangers and my dad is dead but that’s kinda whatever", but typically relationships need some form of maintenance and emotional availability…
The actual headcanons finally
I kinda have 2 routes in mind for dunlord Chil and both of them are centered on "I care too much, i wish things were easy", so first is a lot like his succubi, it’s full on indulging in his guilty pleasures like alcohol and bodies and it’s to keep him in a constant state of thrill and euphoria and distracted, unfeeling about stuff that really matters. "Nothing matters except that I’m enjoying the moment!" vibe. He gets to live a life worthy of Dionysus, with alcohol and women and debauchery and like— never having to think again, never having to feel anything but pleasure again, never have to feel guilty or shitty or angry or sad. He has a harem and gets everything on a silver platter.
Breaking news demon magic-induced rush of euphoria and power still not enough to cure this man of his self-hatred nor his capacity for thought!! But in his case a state of euphoria is what he seeks I think, to kinda mask or replace the Everything Else.
The other is what I think closer to what canon suggests, with what WL implied too with "I’ll make you a new wife and kids like the originals!! ���", it’s a (spoilers) Wandavision type thing where it’s a slice of life where he’s never at work and always at home and the family eats lunches at the dinner table together and everything and everyone at any moment is just. Happy. No issues. It was all a dream, this is real and everything is fine and your family is perfect and happy. I like to think the timeline would be wonky, his daughters would fluctuate in age, but he’d want to be there for what he missed, would want them to still rely on him and look up to him like when they were young, would like to forget that they’re now independent adults and the distance that grew between Chilchuck and his siblings is happening between them as well. Chil would want doppelgangers of his family imo, at its core just a general wish for a peaceful happy family life with no drama, no need to compromise, a little paradise of unconditional love and no consequences. It’s for sure straightforward, but Chilchuck is a man with straightforward desires…
But see Chilchuck is a greedy man, and he wants it both ways without having to sacrifice anything or expanding any efforts himself. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. I think playing with these two opposite directions and mixing and matching is most fun. Him leading a life where he indulges in all his worst habits while still having everything he wants… Him getting to have BOTH his wife and any woman he can imagine up, his life like two sides of a coin he can flip at any moment where he’s partying then he’s at home enjoying the quiet and his toddler daughters playing with toys on the carpet. Christ when you remember it’s all an illusion that’s terrifying, the doppelgangers and succubi from the winged lion playing chilchuck ping pong.
A safe little haven both security-stability wise and emotionally. Gets to have both the relaxing and the thrilling in any dose he wants, mixed or separatedly. What I’d argue he had pre-canon too: Can live it up in taverns away from home, stays away from home for long periods of time, and can come back to home aka the symbol of relaxation and safety whenever he decides to. Something he can leave and come back to at will, an anchor he can trust in (until it’s taken from him and his wife leaves. Or in his worse nightmare people rush in and kill his daughters). The ideal of a house and family to a working man, perhaps…
I think it’s fun to think on wether or not these desires would be interesting at all to the winged lion… In canon he seeks out "rare/complex desires", common simple things like I imagine riches, sex, substances and pleasure would be are boring to him, he’s eaten those so many times already. So perhaps he wouldn’t last long as a dunlord, the WL would want to eat him fully quick, can’t keep him interested or waiting long for a meager meal, too much effort raising the cattle and too low quality meat. By making it more twisted or layered Chil’s desire would become more desirable to the demon, it’s part of what’s fun with the third option to me. But whatever. Has he ever eaten a guy with this much repression and self-sabotage... Like trying to get the meat out of a walnut, enrichment…
Other dunlord Chil takes I’ve seen that are fun and good:
@feelo-fick and @pluvio-floret have a dunlord Chilchuck AU project dubbed "tragedy AU" where Chilchuck is said to be "on vacation", in a weird delirious state, only half-there half of the time… From which he doesn’t want to wake up </3 Quoting Feelo, this is why the vacation thing is only a half-joke cause he is 1) letting all his responsibilities go 2) indulging in himself and 3) "spending time with his family" <- lie but you get what i mean. Additional comments that have me vigorously nodding: because changing is hard why cant things just be okay right now without the effort !!! Life is hard he’s so so tired he just wants to feel good… he just wants life to feel nice and easy for a sec while he can learn to breathe again and lose the stress and trauma he’s accumulated…….. spoiler alert yes !!! in fact a depressed person can suck themselves into their job and lock out the world who wouldve thought !!!
And then Cabinette I know posted about his dunlord take once but I don’t have the link, in which Chil has a lot of nosebleeds because of mana overload which is fun and interesting to think about imo~
In dunmeshi, where characters get underground pockets of the world as their playground disconnected from everything outside and the rest of the world, it’s important to remember to face reality even if it has conflict and people with different views and stances from you, it’s something Chilchuck and Marcille and everyone needed to learn, and the thing with a dungeon lord AU is that you imagine a timeline where he fails to <3
A timeline where his dungeon lord wish is to desire nothing bc hope and want has only ever hurt him would also go so hard. Very universal thing though I suppose.
… And this is why a Chilchuck-centric Coraline AU is really really interesting and fitting and topical— Ok that’ll go in a separate reblog/post at @Fumiku I need to let this end
#Dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#Analysis#dungeon lord chilchuck#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Wish we could put just parts of a post under a ‘click to read more’ box that scrolls open and closes neatly#Bc 3/4th of the post is just extra explanation for ppl who don’t See The Vision already but like that’s not what i wanted most of the post#to be really gdbdg#Headcanons#You could say the family also represents something he’s built up with how own hands. If he has self-worth issues and thinks he’s a screw-up#in the virtue/honor and likability department especially— his family destroyed/killed also represents the one biggest good thing#he’s done/created crumbling also. Like his wife leaving without a word while he trusted their relationship this can hugely impact#one’s sense of identity and self-worth and what you’re living life for. In his case it’s not too surprising he turned to simple#physical pleasures for comfort and enjoyment. Like with tasting good food having moments feeling good keeps you going#He always focuses on the bad relationships bring and never the good aghhhh#The reverse of Marcille who often idealizes. They both ignore problems in their relationships in opposite ways.#What do you mean why do i bring up marcille. Okay yes this’ll get a marchil Fumiku short brainstorm reblog as well#Chilchuck is so… curse of having feelings and not realizing the extent of them. Underestimating how much you care#It’s either ‘i’m fine who cares’ or falling into the pits of despair and blaming himself n spilling his whole bag no inbetween#Dunmeshi succubus#Fumi rambles#boy that’s what this boils down to i suppose#Family angst “Hey I came back home from work and i’m tired so don’t talk to me about problems or anything k? I’m here to relax smh damn”#< unwilling to admit he has issues he should be working on or that some things are affecting others negatively#Chil you are so enneagram 6w7 <3
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simandy · 2 months ago
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Being invited to a 2000s party as a plus size woman
[Clown music]
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squidsmakemedelusional · 2 months ago
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FOURTH IMPACT
what happens to an mf when you switch up the dead sea scrolls with the sunken sea scrolls
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ganondoodle · 3 months ago
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sometimes i wish i was one of those artist that make people go "this is a PAINTING???" or "with WHAT programm/medium???" but its just not what i can do or find fun :/
#ganondoodles talks#personal#not really for the attention thing but more for .. work being recognized?#im not sure#to feel more like people actually stop and look at sth instead of skipping over it?#maybe its jsut an internet phenomena(?)#like the way everything is just consumed within seconds and never lasts long and if you miss the trend you are irrelevant#the sort of weird pressure to have to subvert expectations or be exceptionally exceptional just to be recognized ?#(which i know isnt always a good thing lol)#also this isnt a complaint per se more like a thought#like i sometimes wish i was into the popular characters instead of the niche ones etc#that kind of thing#also like i wish i could make art that really speaks to people .. like those that are just so .. interesting and strange and poetic#bc (while i know fanart and silly oc projects arent worhtless) those feel more worthwhile? more worth really being called art?#for soemthing to be truly art it should be either exceptionally skilled or profound like the greatest poets?#im just doing whatever my brain allows me to do- which i know is fine#but i also dont think its inherently wrong to wish for being more than that sometimes#(... maybe its mostly just loneliness without knowing how to find friends)#(especially where i am and especially as i just want a friend to live with - not a partner... i dont want to be this alone forever ...)#(actually ....... what if all my art self consciousness comes from wanting to feel less lonely .. oh dear- no time to unpack that omg)
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vigilantesyth · 7 days ago
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Damian wayne head cannon, bro is either over dressed or underdressed but always in style. The Wayne's tend to just pick a stugle some times as Dick, Jason ans steph and known for being in tight/short/ skimpy fits with loads of accessories and Bruce, Tim, babs, cas and Duke tend to do a...lot because why show up if it's not to show up? They are beautiful humans and they show off. Damian is from a place where everyone dressed over accessorised.
You can not convince me that the RAs don't walk around with gold/silver/broz/metal and gems apart of every fit.and everyone dose it too just they the main blood line is extra about it something about the wight helps training and you can't go around looking homeless if your a ra. So dami comes with his own gems why thank you and gets more 'anonymously'. It's also a good way to get in his good graces or earn is help or silence(this is abused by the family on 'don't tell xxxx').
So some days you see Damian in this 50 layer kimono because he favourite anime character of the week died or in botty shorts and a crop top (Both with mannny accessories) because he just felt like it.
Mind you he is still wearing heavy jewellery so people do try to rob him. But he is Damain, his rep is of a wild but beautiful dog. He dose bite he also has security detail thanks to his mother and grandfather that only do nothing if they themselves send assassin's to harm him.
He knows everyone knows. They are his old servants and nanny's he acts like it too. Alfred likes the extra help and plays card games with them. One of the mannor floors is dedicated to Damains 'guards'.
Witch leads me to another au.
The nanny's and servants help with house work alot so alf have more time with the family and the family gets to know them as well but they know the servants don't need to awnser to them and it's only because Damain likes them it happens. They are loyal af.
One time burce asked Damain why can't he act like kids his age at the time. The only kids outside of his siblings he knew was the rich brats at school.
This gose wrong fast.
As damaian has them disguise themselves in a mall area and plan for a meeting with one of his classmates who talked bad about his mother one day to come fight.
Damaian had an outing with a 'friend' that day conveniently.
So they met at the mall the kid had like 10 guards all buff and some with guns. Damaian smirked, and like a demon who won a prize, he started cackling.
Brat" why ate you laughing your surrounded "
Somebody was recording in the background BTW. There was even a crowd. When the guards surrounded him he grinned and clapped.
His guards sand up some dropping trays and lifting guns, others lifting knives. All looking at the small crowd of 11.
D: "No you are surrounded"
People in the crowd gasp as more jumps from. The 3rd floor to the 2nd floor some hand off wires with more guns by now even some coming out of the crowd with more weponds totalling to almost 300 men and women.
D"now what was it you said about my mother?being a broke, whore?"
He lifted his hands and grined eith a glint in his eyes.
"Everyone around you is an enemy shawn. You best kneel and beg before me for forgiveness before I have them wiped you off the map."
By this time the crowd was growing and it was on the news all asking who the armed people worked for.
Then they turned red in the center from Sniper aims and it becomes national news it's on NBC and BBC how some wayne kid plans to kill a classmate with 100 men and 40 snipers for being disrespectful to his mother talking about how Bruce is letting his kids use his money.
Then a chopper appears because damain is dramatic he came that way and his family *caough * Dick *caough * made it worst.
His grandfather walks out in all his glory, and it becomes known to the world as it is now world news it has the kids' parents showing up even. That Damian is a part of the Al Gulh royal family, and they came out of hiding because of the disrespect they faced in a school. The parent where bowing a grovelling to spare them. Then talia shows up in her crown princess clothes. It makes RA act even bolder because she often refuses to wear clothes he gives her. She apologized for the mess her son and father cause on international news.
The a chopper came over from the Korean royal family asking who disrespected their family.
Damnian becomes international overnight. His mother and grandfather now have Twitter, and so do the very much hidden in the plane sight empire. While the world want to know what land is, they refuse to talk about it.
And Bruce is pissed he scolds him and then some when he reaches home. Damaian said.
"You said 'why don't I act like other kids' I acted like my classmates are you happy now?"
Bruce sinks in defeat and noe has to make up a story as to hoe he and talia met and now has to fit royal meeting into Damains schedule as the korean[ he didn't know ] side of family also wants turns with him and his siblings if they wish to come. Ras is the same and nobody questions damians linage again.
And all racist comments stop in his presents, his slate wiped clean anyone who offended him where either expelled or conveniently disappeared. Gotham acts like it's an every day thing and now news reporters and other people try to dig into his life more than the other Wayne's forming sort of a protection for them because who cares I'd Jason and Tim had a gun fight in the middle of Gotham (paint gun) all of Gotham didn't care because they too also joined into to the mess.
Damain looks actually too tired to care now because too much is on his plate and he can't get work related injuries else take a leave of absence which last time made international news again, he played off the brused lip as he lost a tooth while reading a book and it fell on his face. Had to get check out infount of t.v to confirm it by at least two nations doctors. All 3 of them did and confirmed the sooth got shook out by something falling on his face. [It was jon. Jon fell on his face].
Damian also has to walk around with food testers and his school released his gardeds once to show off and his private touters [smartest people in the world] showed thier certificates from when he was a child of him being thr smartest kid they have ever thought.
It's not the end of it, Damain now basically sits and eats at galas because who has the standing to talk to him, both good and bad because everyone is watching him and he don't have to talk to them.
(I'm just building help:^
I need to stop alright one more
Sick as fuck rn )
Damains clothes become trendy and scrutinised. Because look at this, he is either over dressed or under dressed but never worse dressed and refuses to care about gender or cultural norms. Once, we wore a whole silk gown to a beach, like the after divorce, or just married a rich man type gown with the slit and everything with heavy jewellery, garter belt and that toe chain that ties up to your calves with a parasol.
(In my cannon, he looks more like talia than Bruce)
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akkivee · 4 months ago
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ALSO!!!!!! HAPPY FIVE YEARS ANNIVERSARY TO THIS ICONIC INTRO!!!!!!!💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
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deoidesign · 6 months ago
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I'm caught now, what's the comic about? I'm guessing demons from your tags but I want to know more (without spoiling anything)
I'm so glad you asked.
I wanna say so much but I don't want to spoil anything... I'll do my best.
It's about demons, yes... But also mermaids, curses, murder, and love... The sweetest mermaid in the world gets magically stuck with an asshole demon warlord.
Thrust into a world of crime, murder, lies, and secrets, Luciel is completely out of their depth... And cursed to live in the ocean for the rest of his life, Zagan is a fish out of water.
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Zagan is trying to solve the mystery of his own murder, while also navigating trying to cure his new curse AND gathering souls so he doesn't get sent back to hell. While Luciel is happy to tag along, Zagan is new to cooperation and is forced to adapt... And Luciel soon discovers there might have been a BIT more danger than they signed up for.
It follows the two of them as they solve a mystery, uncover new secrets, and navigate the dangers of the world while also discovering its many wonders!
And also maybe falling in love...
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This is sort of the vibe... I haven't finished any episodes yet. These aren't canon scenes. I keep drawing just a couple panels or small strips of scenes that MIGHT happen cause I'm so excited it's not even funny I want to make it so bad
I can't stop drawing them it's a problem. I have work I have to do...
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4ce-of-2pades · 8 months ago
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(Leo speaking to Hephaestus:)
Leo: I used to think I was creative. I used to think I was smart. I used to take pride in the things I invented. But it’s just you, isn’t it? Everything I’m good at, everything I like about myself, it’s just your powers I inherited. If I wasn’t your son, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this. I wouldn’t be good at anything.
Leo: I thought that I had earned this. That I had learned when my mom taught me about machines, that I had built my abilities myself. But it’s all just shortcuts and fakery. It’s just god magic. It’s not real. It’s not mine.
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lloydfrontera · 4 months ago
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mmhh. javier had to wait ninety years to see lloyd once more while lloyd spent three years thinking he would never see javier again. what do you think hurt most. waiting a lifetime with the knowledge you'll see the person you treasure the most at some point or spending what you know will be your last couple years of life without the hope of ever seeing the one person you never thought you'd have to live without.
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uselessnbee · 1 year ago
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what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.
or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!
and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes
and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you
#i am not trying to victim blame or anything i love Sally and she did her best and didn't deserve any of the crap life gave her#but there's just something so tragic about the fact that she married a vile man and suffered abuse to protect her son#just for her decision to hurt him anyways just in a different way but the only other option would probably be Percy ending up dead#so she can't really truly regret it but she just wishes those weren't their only options#that she didn't have to do this just so that her child could stay alive#thinking about it makes me go feral#they had no choice but to suffer there was no way for their lives to be without this much hurt and trauma and it's terrible#and they didn't deserve it but there was so much love too#but the horrible thing is that that love just wasn't enough to save them from all that pain and i need to be sedated bye#percy jackson#sally jackson#pjo#hoo#percy and sally#percy jackon and the olympians#whatever you do don't think about a six years old lonely Percy sitting in a corner waiting for his mom to come back home from work#and he knows she loves him but he misses her so much when she spends so much time in work and that hurts#don't think about a ten years old Percy being sent away to a boarding school and he knows his mom loves him#but what if she's sending him away because he's just too much? or not enough? and what if she doesn't want him anymore?#and he knows that's not true but what if?#i'm thinking it#okay i think that's enough
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wolfram-but-art · 9 months ago
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i thought i'd draw this since there's a lot of people that decided to follow me recently, felt adequate to finally introduce myself. also because it seems fun to do
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passerinesoncaffeine · 30 days ago
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tonight on thinking about homura and madoka.
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#........................................dude#head in hands#ALMOST A HUNDRED FUCKING TIMES SHE WAS TRAPPED IN THE LOOP ALMOST A HUNDRED. FUCKING. TIMES#god#they give me so many emotions#theres something about doomed timeloops where over and over again you have to watch the one person you gave everything to save#die over and over and over. and you just have to get back up again knowing that you wont be able to save them#but you get up anyways and you try again even as you slowly lose yourself to the point they dont even recognize you anymore.#they barely know you at all. but thats okay because it was always for them anyways so who cares if they dont know you as long as theyre saf#it was always for them. because they were everything. and without them you are nothing at all. even if they dont know you.#at one point they did. at one point they loved you. and it was everything.#and holy FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKk#you guys I could talk about homura for hours#SHE SPENT 12 YEARS IN THAT LOOP. 12 YEARS.#GUYS. SHE WAS 14 YEARS OLD WHEN SHE MADE THE WISH. 14. SHE WAS 14 FUCKING. YEARS OLD.#i love homura. she is my daughter she is aksifhmkjhsngkjnhajfsjkgnskjgh#augh. doomed yuri. my doomed daughters. they just wanted to protect each other. and it cost them everything.#pmmm#raven rambles#theres a pattern here. you see. you see how my favorite characters are always the ones who only live for one other person#to the point it kills them. it leads them to kill. they felt unconditional love for the first time and it is their death.#they know it is. and they walked into hell willingly but they couldnt die. not if there was a chance they could have that again.#not if there was a chance the one who loved them could be safe from that pain. do you see. theres a fucking pattern here#they'll watch themselves become someone they hate but someone who might be able to save them this time. do you understand#augh. okay I'll shut up and go to bed#Im just having Emotions tonight ig
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bloomburnburial · 1 year ago
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i have admitted a want and/or need. this is tantamount to admitting weakness. now i must go and fold my arms behind my back and contemplate the wall for the next six months
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