#I wish I could just properly explain that kind of stuff

[commissionsdarian]

The recent passive aggression. Your relationships with others aren't mine to judge. I'm sorry.

It's fine. I don't demand or expect understanding. I know it's always going to be questionable to some people. But it is what it is 👍

[pixlokita]

Just wanna ask just to make sure

Are we allowed to share stuff about our own aus?

I rmemeber asking and you said no fur to bad experiences, so I’m asking again

And if so, would it be limited to just text stuff, or would we be allowed to share our art about said aus?

Hope this doesn’t come across as rude or annoying

Hmmmm tbh if I’ve stated it makes me uncomfortable before then I just appreciate avoiding it. I do follow other fnaf AUs and like learning about them but only if I’m the one finding them or asking about them or joining a server to learn more about them. Heck even checking my FYP let’s me genuinely find things I enjoy at my own pace ^^; but If my own blog keeps getting recommendations from other people’s AUs and info dumping without even asking before doing so then it feels like it’s not my own space :Tc it kinda sorta feels like it’s being used for self promoting their own stuff and I won’t even enjoy it because of that, it’s hard to explain it in English but honestly even if that’s not the intention it makes me uncomfortable nonetheless unfortunately.

[crunchystarz]

Twisted wonderland Self-aware au

Housewardens x GN!Reader

Cw- obsessive and possessive behavior, isolation all that good yandere stuff (remember none of this behavior is healthy nor do I condone it this is purely for entertainment )

A/n: I wrote this while dying of the flu I am not built for the cold weather release me from my chains

You downloaded the game for fun. As any normal person usually does. What you weren't prepared for was when your game started acting weird.

It started small, your characters dialogue wouldn't line up with the videos you've seen. No big deal perhaps they just got changed during an update.

It got a bit weirder whenever you'd start seeing new sprites you haven't seen anywhere else. You tried to shrug it off as you just managed to get a newer version of the game(somehow).

You swore the characters started to address you more directly but you again tried to ignore it. You just thought your brain was playing tricks on you.

It was only until you realized you left your phone at your apartment. You quickly rushed home to retrieve it just to find a very real house warden in your home.

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

REALIZATION:

When Riddle first suddenly became aware of the fact his existence was nothing but code he was unbelievably out of it. All the conversations he had, his harsh upbringing, everything was just part of his character. Were the feelings of anger, confusion and acceptance even real? He went on a bit of a rampage being harsher than usual but he didn't wish to shatter the reality for everyone else (he'd also sound more like a mad hatter If he tried to explain the fact they were just in a game) So no one knew why for the next month Riddle was more on edge than usual.

He came to accept the fact his life was nothing but a path set for him. He instead started to focus on you(or should I say yuu)

He soon realized that the ramshackle perfect was nothing but a hollow shell. No notable personality or backstory. But he soon managed to be aware of your experience. Glitches allowed him to hear snippets of your voice and how you truly felt. He was your favorite and he wanted it to stay that way.

He'd make sure he was always on your home screen. He'd even get risky and start talking to you directly. He'd listen to you ramble as you played the game. His face would flush red not out of anger but embarrassment when you'd change his outfits or get excited when you realized he'd gotten a new card.

He wished there wasn't a screen keeping you away from each other...

BREAKING CODE:

(I like to think this would be similar to an overblot In a way and enough emotion could cause them to lose themselves and eventually overwrite their code)

Riddle was over the moon. He was really in your room. Sevens he never thought a day would come where he'd be standing in your space. It was so you...

It felt weird, in a space that wasn't just there for scenes. It was actually lived in.

When he sees you he feels as if he succeeded in his life's purpose. You're confused and he can see that. He tries to explain to you how he didn't even know how he had gotten where he was.

You let him stay in your apartment because you couldn't really let him out in a world he knows nothing about. You're too kind he says.

DAY TO DAY LIFE:

Riddle takes care of most of the household chores. While you're gone, he keeps himself busy by tidying up, reading, or researching ways to improve the home environment. As well as constantly making rules for you to follow. He's so used to rules being set in place, it's what he was programmed to do so In the beginning you let it slide.

However he becomes controlling, trying to regulate every aspect of your life to “protect” you. He insists on setting the rules for "safety" and gets visibly distressed if you don't follow them.

Constantly checks if the you're eating properly or following a “schedule” he created for you both. If you don't he'll sometimes scold you harshly like he would in game. He'll apologize later in fear of upsetting you, he just wants you to be safe.

Becomes passive-aggressive if you end up spending too much time with others, interpreting it as rebellion. All he's trying to do is set you on the right path , can't you see that?

-"It’s for your own good [Name],Without guidance, this world will overwhelm you. Let me take care of you."

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

REALIZATION:

When Leona realizes he's in a video game he's surprisingly the calmest. He's upset and disorientated but he doesn't cause a big scene or let it be known he's losing his mind. He's used to concealing how he feels from others; it's in his codeHe's more laid back after this fact. No matter what he did he'd never be able to change his fate, because it was already set for him he had no control over it. So why did it matter what he did?

When you caught his attention the beast man was obsessed with proving himself to you. To him you were the only person who saw him for him. Who understood him. He was your favorite.

He'd never been anyone's number one anything before and the fact you choose him he wasn't going to let anything take that away from him.

The screen was just another obstacle he'll overcome to get what he wants.

BREAKING CODE:

Leona was really in your room...your room. He felt overcome with joy. Genuine joy, something he'd...never felt. Everything he felt up until then was just what the developers wanted him to feel.

Needs to say you were more than confused when you saw a lion hybrid snuggled up in your bed when you came home.

After getting an explanation you offered to let him stay in your apartment; if you didn't you were more than sure he'd be taken for government testing or something. Too bad you now needed a new phone.

DAY TO DAY LIFE :

Leona is still a lion at heart, he frequently loiters around you, draping himself over your furniture or bed like a lion staking a claim.He’s territorial and quick to anger if someone else tries to get too close to you. Despite his gruffness, he seeks constant reassurance that the you won’t leave him.

He's possessive and hates whenever you leave and doesn’t hide his irritation. He often tries to convince you to skip work/school, suggesting you should spend the day relaxing with him instead. (Sometimes he'll go out with you and will send looks to anyone who looks at you too long)

you're just happy everyone thinks that his animal features are crazy prosthetic since he refuses to hide them

When you come home, Leona monopolizes your time, insisting on napping together and getting all your attention.

He'd dislike the smell of other people on you when you come home and will drag you to bed for cuddles. None of these humans deserve your attention, he worked so hard for it not them .The thought angers him.

- "You're mine, I can protect you—provide for you —love you, you don't need anyone else but me those humans can't do what I can"

AZUL ASHHENGROTTO

REALIZATION:

Azul understandably does not take the life altering realization that he's not actually real well. His usually kept together appearance started to slip. He was all over the place. How could he not? This left Floyd and Jade completely confused why their boss was so out of it. It wasn't like him. He couldn't tell anyone else about this, not that they'd believe him anyway.

His interest in you starts as a mix of fascination and suspicion. He’s drawn to your influence but wary of your intentions. It became an obsession .

He saw you as the only real thing in his "life", Azul was your favorite out of all the characters, you picked him. He'd always make sure he looked right on your home screen (it wouldn't matter anyway since his sprite would always look the same)

You became the only thing he could think about, he'd have you no matter how much it took

BREAKING CODE:

Azul at first didn't think him being in your room was real. He thought it was a dream. When it finally set in that it wasn't just him losing his mind he was more than just happy.

He was in his darlings room. Everything felt so perfect. But not as perfect when he saw you for the first time. You were more than confused to see him(now in your living room) looking around.

After explaining the situation you let him stay with you in your apartment. You had no other choice where else would he go? It wouldn't be so bad to have extra help around anyway.

DAY TO DAY LIFE:

Much like Riddle , Azul takes care of most of the daily tasks. He offers to assist you with your tasks, whether it’s by organizing your work schedule or helping with assignments. However, he might feel a little hurt if you seem too busy for him. Pay attention to him please!

Don't forget that this is a sly sly man. Azul becomes emotionally manipulative, weaving situations that ensure you stays reliant on him. He uses your gratitude and trust to justify his control, often veiling his obsession with charm and just him being a "gentleman".

He'll shower you in gifts and constantly praise you on everything. He'll try and offer you deals just to make sure you have ties with him.

He'll text you at work with encouraging needy messages. He's always in your corner so just rely on him okay? You don't need anyone else.

- "You’d be lost without me. Everything I do is for you. Just let me take care of all your work."

Kalim Al-Asim

REALIZATION:

Kalim was in denial for the longest time about the realization that he was in a program. He couldn't wrap his head around it. He didn't want to bother Jamil more than he already did especially not with something this big. It was hard to not say anything while his mind was going crazy with thoughts as he tried to pretend nothing was wrong.

When he realized yuu wasn't just another side character and in fact the player he became obsessed with knowing more. He'd get so excited whenever the game would glitch and he could hear your voice and you talking as you played around on the home screen.

It made him so happy; Kalim was your favorite character. Others would wonder why he'd be more bubbly than usual whenever he'd hear you compliment him on his newest card. He wanted all your attention onto him.

He'd make your every wish come true. This screen wouldn't stop that.

BREAKING CODE :

Oh wow he was really in your room. It was way smaller than he expected but that didn't matter. It was your room so it made it much better. He doesn't know what he did to deserve this. He was basically bouncing off the walls; touching everything.

When you walked into your room you didn't have time to react before Kalim was pulling you a crushing hug causing you to yelp. He apologized a bit flustered.

After explaining (he could barely keep himself together) you allowed him to stay. He was so sweet how could you let him out into the world?

DAY TO DAY LIFE:

Kalim insists on accompanying you everywhere. Wherever you go Kalim is clinging to you. Your neighbors have all taken a liking to him so him being with you isn't so bad.

He isn't good with chores but he tries his best to clean and tidy when you're gone. He tries to cook but has burnt it multiple times so you tell him not to. He buys you gifts you don't even need all the time. He just wants to spoil you.

Kalim’s obsession is rooted in his desire to make you happy at all costs. However, his constant need to please you and keep you close becomes overwhelming, and suffocating. If you tell him this he'll make you feel bad, that he just loves you so much and wants to take care of you; you often cave.

When you return from work or school, Kalim greets you with hugs and insists on spending the rest of the evening together, often talking about what he did while you were gone.

-" [Name]! I missed you sooo much, you should let me go with you to work, you don't even need work I could make all of your wishes come true"

VIL SCHONHEIT

REALIZATION:

Vil did not take it well... He was absolutely losing his mind. His beauty was nothing but pixels. Was everything he worked for was fake? Everything he knew was just controlled by someone else. It was so frustrating. He ended up locking himself away until he could accept the truth.

When he realized yuu was the player he was...angry. However that anger subsided after he started to know you for you. Vil was...your favorite. It boosted his ego more than anything.

He wanted to be in the spotlight at all times. He craved your attention. It was like he became addicted to your praise. He'd smile whenever you'd call him pretty whenever you looked at a card of his.

He wanted to be perfect for you. He'd show you how perfect he could be, you'd see. He just needed to get rid of the screen.

BREAKING CODE:

Vil stood in the middle of your room. Everything was too perfect to touch. He took it all in. everything felt just...right.

He didn't even calculate how he got in your room but he didn't care. He was in your world and sevens he'd never felt better.

When you walked into him looking at himself in your mirror (taking in how he was an actual real person) . You were so confused why this gorgeous man was in your room.

After explaining the situation you agreed to let him stay with you; if you didn't you swear he'd get kidnapped or something to become a big model. It wouldn't be bad to have a pretty face to look at when you got home.

DAY TO DAY LIFE:

Vil insists on controlling your wardrobe and grooming, often brushing aside whatever protests you have. He discourages you from associating with “lesser” individuals, claiming they tarnish the your image.

He knows what's best for you come on, those other people will only be dragging you down from your true potential. But of course you wouldn't know that he couldn't blame you.

Vil’s obsession honestly manifests in his relentless efforts to “perfect” for you. He'll critique your choices and actions, believing he alone knows what’s best for you. His fixation often leaves you feeling scrutinized and trapped.

He believes you just need him. He'll do everything just as long as he gets praise from you. Tell him he's being a great help won't you?

"You deserve only the best, and I won’t let anyone drag you down—!"

IDIA SHROUD:

REALIZATION:

This is not as exciting as they make it in manga. Idia was having a crisis. Realizing that he was in a video game made him want to hide away even more than he normally would. It didn't matter how hard Ortho tried he just wouldn't budge. He stayed cooped up in his room trying so hard to distract himself from the fact that he was nothing but code just like the ones he's learned to manipulate. Idia is not going to recover from this.

Idia was already wary around yuu but when he realized you were yuu he wanted to know more. He was still too scared to leave his dorm so you didn't see him much other than the homescreen.

He was so taken back when he realized that, he — Idia shroud was your favorite. He'd never been anyone's favorite before. He was just a loser that stayed cooped up in his room all day and you still liked him?

He grew obsessed with that feeling of being seen, he wanted to just use whatever knowledge he had to break past the screen.

BREAKING CODE:

When Idia realized he was actually in your room he damn near fainted. No scratch that he did. He was so overwhelmed. He didn't deserve to be in your room. Oh man how did he even get here? Nevermind that.

He was so incredibly.. happy. He was in the room of the one person who he felt knew him more than anyone. It made him feel bubbly and his hair flashed pink a bit.

He looked for something to do fearing he'd have a panic attack if he thought about this too long. So you ended up finding him tinkering with your computer when you came home. He basically died when he saw you.

After explaining to you what happened, you, now trying to get him to calm down agreed to let him stay. Not that he'd leave anyway he practically already made your bed his sanctuary.

DAY TO DAY LIFE:

Your room basically became his. He keeps it clean but doesn't really do a lot of the house work other than that.

Idia spends the day gaming, tinkering with gadgets, or monitoring your online activity (just to make sure you're okay, of course!). He reacts the worst to you being away and just does not like it one bit.

Idia struggles with separation anxiety (like a once stray cat)and might try to convince you to work or study from home. If you insist on going out he bombards you with messages . He'll subtly manipulate situations to keep you away from others, convincing you the world is too dangerous.

When you come home, Idia is overly clingy, insisting you spend the rest of the night together and refusing to let you focus on work. He just wants his cuddles and your attention you were out with those normies all day!

-" Can’t you just stay here and binge-watch something with me? It’s way safer—and more fun."

MALLEUS DRACONIA:

When the fae realizes he's nothing but binary code strug together he's more than perplexed. Malleus has dealt with a lot of things in his time but nothing could prepare him for the crushing reality. He's completely disoriented and Sebek nor Silver can figure out why because he won't tell them. He started lacking on work and just overall seemed more spaced out.

He was very quick to put two and two together. Yuu was the player. It was obvious; human without powers manages to get into NRC and some how is involved with almost everything. It wasn't quite hard to figure out.

Malleus idealizes you seeing you as a perfect being. In his eyes, you are kind, compassionate, and the only one who truly understands him. He was your favorite, this confirms you too think you too are meant for each other.

He'd do anything just for you to join him when he takes up the crown, it's just the screen that's not making it possible.

BREAKING CODE:

Once in your room Malleus doesn't look like he cares at all actually but inside he was losing his mind in the most positive way ever.

Nothing was how he imagined. This is how you like your space? Noted. He tidied up your place a bit and sat in the middle of the room as to not mess anything.

When you walked into him just sitting there you were so confused but he just gave you a smile showing off his fangs.

After explaining the situation you let him stay in your apartment; too scared what he'd manage to get into if you didn't.

DAY TO DAY LIFE:

Malleus makes sure everything is perfect for you at all times. Everything is organized and you never have to worry about anything being out of place.

Like Leona Malleus has animalistic tendencies, him being a fae dragon causes him to be well.. possessive, not wanting anyone else to monopolize your attention. He might grow jealous of your coworkers, friends, or even family, viewing them as a threat to your bond.

He. Is.clingy. worse than Kalim and Idia. He insists on escorting you everywhere, even if it’s unnecessary. People recognized him as "[Name's] horned bodyguard!" Gods you hated it. He tries to insert himself into every aspect of your life, wanting to be by your side constantly.

It took him so long to just be okay with letting you leave on your own. Once you're home he's bombarding you with questions about your day.(Secretly snuggling up to you so you can have his scent again)

-" I could just use magic you know, there's no need—I'm simply a better option for this stuff you can rely on me"

MASTERLIST

[beachf4gz]

I recently was able to restart my adhd meds after a few months of them being out of stock so I have been reading wayyy more DE fanfic again, and something I find kind of interesting is how prominant certain in-game choices are in regards to Harry's fanon characterisation. I understand why the communist route and sorry-cop copotype are by far the most common ways ppl write Harry- I think most people playing the game end up identifying with those dialogue options and therefor end up following those routes (and its a fairly big time commitment to replay with the intention of seeing all the different route you could take)- but I do sometimes really wish there was more writing for the different copotypes and political orientations because the ways Harry's internal processes and position in the world are affected are REALLY interesting to me. I completely understand being uncomfortable (or just uninterested) by the idea of exploring an ultraliberal, moralist or facist character- I think fanfiction as a medium is compelling in part because you are conveying your own relationship to a piece of work, including your own moral reactions and beliefs applied upon the work's characters- but I think DE includes the option to *play as* a character occupying these roles (rather than just presenting them through npcs) in order to invite players to experience and examine the act of being these things both internally and within social contexts.

I think Harry can be fascinating and heartbreaking as a character study in any of these routes, and the gameplay can feel radically different between them even following the same plot. For example, I found the moralist route deeply evocative. It has an uneasy, desperate feeling to it as someone struggles to occupy the in-group, to live in normalcy and civility in the face of their own world ending. It creates an odd position for Harry as accutely disabled and vulnerable- contrasting percieved social acceptance and safety with the tearing of reality "as it should be" at the failure of the social mechanisms he believes in to meet their promise of happiness or safety. The gameover at the statue left me genuinely stunned when I first got it, its sort of horrifying in it's bluntness, and I found it really upsetting in this specific raw way. Its an excellent way of demonstrating, emotionally, the failure and cruelty of liberalism upon those who believe in it- but also its devastating for Harry's character as he is presented through the moralist dialogue. I also found it rlly compelling how the honor cop dialogue options explore Harry as a person seeking dignity in the face of their social ostracisation, and how apocalypse-cop explores the social modes of someone who has fallen out of the "normal reality space", how impaired his ability to live is in response to a full awareness of overwhelming, total threat. I'm not good at writing essays and stuff, idk if I'm explaining this well, but all of the routes are written with such an intimate and personal examination of how it *feels* to occupy different modes of being- of the way the world will treat you if you interact with it in certains ways, or the person you will be and the emotional shape your life will form depending on your framework. I think its kind of abstract and difficult to write properly, but I think its something you can reaaaallly sink yourself into if you find Harry a compelling character- I personally do (lmao) and its something I love seeing whenever I get the chance. I get the appeal of Harry as an exccentric mentally ill communist whose political beliefs are, in social contexts, extentions of his rejection of social norms and position as othered under liberal belief- I do also just enjoy the fact that this version of Harry is only one mode of being he could occupy, and the varying ways in which he is socially, emotionally or cognitively enabled/disabled by other modes of being, and the position the game takes in exploring them all as choices or as routes and reactions by the same person- as someone afloat and disempowered in the world attempting to find "how to live".

[the-greatest-magic-of-all]

Leaving a mini offering for when you awaken - Thanks for chatting with me while work has been boring me to death :3

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Fae Wilds

Fabian flinched his hand away when Riz swatted at his fingers, the goblins hand connecting with his knuckles with a stinging crack since he wasn’t pulling his punches. Not anymore. The creature that had tried to hand Fabian a strange piece of fruit snarling at the goblin and earning a venomous hiss from the detective in response before it skuttled up the tree and out of sight into the canopy.

“Just because someone is handing you something doesn’t mean you have to take it.” Riz took a calming breath, rubbing at the bridge of his nose under his glasses before resettling them on his face properly. “In fact, put your hands in your pockets. Please.”

The goblin had needed to explain this to Fabian six times already but the Fae Wilds tended to make most people who weren’t native a little vague at the best of times. He wasn’t mad at his friend, not really, he was just kind of wishing he hadn’t let the half elf invite himself on this little mission in the name of ‘watching Riz’s back’ for him. Sure, adventuring with a partner was much more enjoyable than going solo like he usually did but gods was it stressful when he had to keep an eye on Fabian the entire time. If he’d known Fabians human heritage would cause this much of a handicap on his resistance to the confusing influence of this realm he wouldn’t have let him come at all.

This excursion wasn’t in relation to Fabians case anyway, the leads on that one having run dry a while ago, but Riz still had bills to pay and the half elf was fine with him taking other clients in the meantime. They were in the Fae Wilds searching for information, the detectives current client swearing that his daughter had run off with a member of some fairy court and wanting to know where they’d gone. When Riz had gone through his daughters things he’d had to agree, some of the items and letters she’d left behind faintly humming with traces of magic from this realm when he’d checked them over.

So here they were, just the two of them, trying to find someone they could get information out of without trading away something irreplaceable. Riz had gotten a few leads from some of the less dangerous creatures in the area and had been verifying some of it with another when he heard Fabian speaking with someone behind him. The goblin having to whirl around quickly to smack Fabian on the leg to stop him from saying his name to a beautiful, naked woman that looked like they were carved out of a still living tree. Riz narrowing his eyes and baring his teeth when they ran a flirty finger under Fabian’s chin before giggling and wandering away into the forest around them.

“Oh, sorry The Ball. You were trying to get my attention?” Fabian had stared wistfully after the retreating figure until they were impossible to spot among the foliage, the half elf making a choked noise when Riz reached up to grab him by the collar of his jacket and yank him down to the goblins eye level.

“Stop. Saying. Your. Name. and REALLY stop saying your FULL name. Even if they don’t want to steal it they can do some pretty horrible stuff to you if you’re not careful.”

“Ah. Right. Sorry. Force of habit.” Fabian grinned, happy to let the goblin manhandle him around if he wanted to even though it would be very easy to resist. It meant he got to look at his face up close, even if his brows were knitted together in a frown and his ears were pinned back in a way he knew meant he was upset or worried.

“Fuck, okay. I know you’re having issues remembering all this because of-“ Riz let go of his collar with one hand to gesture vaguely around the pair of them, indicating the fae wild at large. “-but it’s going to cause problems if you keep doing that. So. Give me your name.”

“Hmm? Okay, It’s…” The half elf frowned, his own ears drooping slightly while his eye darted, unfocused, from side to side as he tried to think. “I don’t… why can’t I remember?”

“Oh, good. Excellent. I still remember it so that worked.” Riz let go of his collar, pressing their foreheads together in a brief nuzzle before stepping way from him. “You gave me your name. I’ll give it back once we go home but at least I can keep it safe for you until we do. For now you’ll just have to go by… I dunno. Maximum Legend until we leave.”

Now that a creature of this realm had control of the half-elfs name hopefully it would have the duel effect of helping to clear his mind somewhat. Maximum Legend, for his part, was doing an excellent impression of a stunned fish. Mouth hanging open slightly as he stayed crouched in the position Riz had left him in.

“That’s…. what the fuck The Ball? How in the Nine Hells did you even do that?”

“I am a creature of many talents.”

The half-elf scoffed in response but didn’t argue, standing back up to his full height and following along behind Riz as he started walking again.

It's always a delight to chat with you, and it's one of my favourite things to do! Thank you for this gift. Here's a little something in return, pulled from some of our recent chats.

---

Maximum Legend—ugh, he couldn’t believe Riz was throwing that one drunken night on Leviathan in his face—kept a hand on the hilt of his blade as he stood back to back with Riz as several masked goblins surrounded them. They’d been on their way through a forest of trees as tall as skyscrapers with thick and colourful underbrush. Following their only lead regarding the location of Riz’s client’s daughter, Sarah. Up until they’d been ambushed, of course.

He’d been ready for a fight, but he felt Riz hesitate at the same time he did, thanks to giving their attackers a second look over. Rusty pitchforks, worn sickles, and recently repaired spears. Masks made up of ripped fabric and threadbare work clothes covered with patchwork leather armour. If they were bandits, they had only just started out, but something told them that these people weren’t even that.

Riz glanced at Maximum Legend to make sure they were on the same page before he called out to one of the goblins in Gukliak. Maximum could only follow parts of the back and forth that occurred. He could surmise that Riz had asked the troupe if they’d seen a Halfling girl running around with a member of one of the nearby Courts.

For a moment, the goblins looked shifty about it, but Riz… insisted that her father only wanted to know that she was safe and bring her home if she wasn’t. A bit of conferring between the troupe and another quick exchange with Riz before they lowered their weapons. Giving them both a nod to follow.

The troupe of goblins kept them close as they led them through the forest toward a small village by a winding creek. Small farms on the outskirts of it with farmers tending to strange beasts and even stranger crops. Little houses and shops were built into the massive ivied tree trunks or carved out of giant moss-covered boulders. A village square with a tall pole wrapped in colourful ribbons and flowers that goblin villagers pass by and congregate at to stare at him and Riz as they’re led deeper into the settlement.

Eventually they are led to a hollowed out giant tree stump where the missing daughter, Sarah, a young ravenhaired Halfling woman, sat in a garden of tall grass and wildflowers, playing a guitar for a hoard of young goblins. It was a sweet sight to watch for a moment or two. But sooner than later, one of the kits noticed their and their guides’ presences and a whirlwind of chaos erupted.

Sarah stopped strumming, sitting up alarmed as some of the kits raced towards a couple of the goblins who guided them here—their parents, obviously. While others, the ones on the older side stayed and began to swarm Sarah as if they could hide her with their bodies. And that is nothing to say of a matronly Goblin woman bursting out of the stump and rushing to put herself in front of Sarah and the kits as she hissed at the guides and the outsiders.

Maximum watched as Riz lowered his ears in submission to her obvious authority in this place as he began to speak to her slowly in Gukliak. At first, she wasn’t having it; not even some nudging from their guides was enough for her to let them come any closer. But luckily, Sarah was far more willing to humour them.

Slithering out of the pile of kits, she threw her guitar over her shoulder as she walked over to the Goblin matron to put a hand on her shoulder. Telling her that they most likely weren’t here on the Goblin King’s orders. She recognized their clothing; they were from her home plane. Here to rescue her. Sarah smiles at them and tells them that Drezza is just worried about her because she sees her stolen daughter in her, that’s all. She’s happy to talk to them and explain what happened to her.

You see, Sarah Timbersage had been having a really tough time at college, at her dead-end job and at home and… she’d met a guy. Handsome, almost too good-looking for words. Elven, she’d guessed at first, but he’d been light on the details. They’d exchanged letters, back and forth; old fashioned, but she’d liked it. He’d said that she could come live with him, that he’d take care of her, and she’d want for nothing…

As the fifth daughter of eight children, it was an enticing offer. Believable, too, he’d given her a beautiful necklace as if it were nothing. She hadn’t even realized she’d been enthralled until she was deep in the Feywild, within the Castle of the Goblin King. Who, she’d quickly realized, was only going to add her to a collection of “brides” he kept as a testament to his power. Including Drezza’s daughter, Pollina, though Sarah hadn't known that then. Only by pure luck did she manage to escape the fortress and disappear into the forest surrounding it.

Sarah doesn’t know how long she wandered, but one morning, after spending the night hidden in a rotted log, she was found by some of Drezza’s children. The sweet things had realized that she was not only hungry and thirsty, but also the mortal woman the Goblin King had sent scouts to find.

Now, you have to understand. Within the Goblin Court, you’d be hard-pressed to find a soul that actually revered or even liked their King. Hell, they hadn’t particularly liked their last dozen Kings! Might makes Right in the Court of Goblins, so one of the most popular ways for anyone to gain power is to kill a more powerful being than themselves and assume their title.

The worst thing is? It's an arcane issue. It doesn't matter if the courtiers and subjects of the Court despise whoever holds the title of Goblin King, no matter how this so-called King drags their Court’s reputation through the mud unless one of them can defeat him? There's nothing they can do to strip the Court-given powers from him. As much as they hated to admit it, the current Goblin King was very powerful.

And if the smoke signal from the outermost of the village's farms was correct, he was on his way here.

[collapsedglasshouses]

HEAVEN KNOWS I AIN'T GETTING OVER YOU || Joakim Karlsson x fem!Reader

picture found on pinterest

PAIRING: ex-husband!Jolly x fem!reader

SUMMARY: When Jolly visits you unannounced on a Tuesday night, you have no idea what it leads to.

WARNINGS: SMUT [oral sex, female receiving; unprotected p in v], possessive!jolly, ANGST, jolly and reader have a daughter together (y/d/n), MDNI, 18+

TAGLIST: @measuredingold @cncohshit @circle-with-me @jilliemiw86 @justeli6 (If you wanna be added to my taglist in general, leave a comment or message me privately!)

A/N: i wrote this in one sitting and i'm so proud of it that i can't hide it for one second longer. i hope you like it! also this isn't proofread, im very sorry ._.

MASTERLIST

[y/d/n = your daughter’s name]

You thought the hardest thing you had ever done in your entire life was the process of deciding to file for divorce from your ex-husband Jolly, but he had proven you wrong. It was that he had signed the papers without an argument or fight. He had just done it.

It had stung, how he came back from a long tour, saw the papers laying on the kitchen counter and just signed them. It hurt but you also knew it was for the best. That he didn’t fight with you was hard, but it also made it in some ironic way easier.

Since you had a daughter together, he came over only on the weekends when he was home from touring and normally, he’d only pick up your daughter and leave again; not really much conversation going on between you except the necessary small talk. He was a good father and human after all, and you were glad for that.

After some time, routine came back and somewhat everything began to feel normal again. You began to date again, and Jolly seemed to live his life to the fullest. You were happy for him.

That changed when your doorbell rang on a Tuesday evening. You were sitting on the couch watching TV when you heard the sound and for the first couple of seconds you thought about not opening the door. After all, it was almost 8 PM and you were kind of scared there would be someone trying to break in or hurt you, but when it rang again you became curious.

“Joakim?” You asked surprised when you saw him standing there.

“Is it true?” He just asked and looked you dead in the eye.

“What?” You answered him confused. He looked like he hadn’t slept properly since he brought back your daughter two days ago.

“On the weekend, y/d/n said you were seeing someone.” He asked, his tone careful, yet you could sense some sort of hurt in his voice.

“Do you maybe wanna come in before you confront me about stuff that hasn’t got anything to do with you?” You grumbled at him in a sarcastic tone, which he ignored while stepping into the place you once called home together.

He walked into the living room, followed by you. There he crossed his arms in front of your chest and looked at you, disappointed.

“What do you want to here, Joakim? I don’t remember that we agreed to be abstinent for the rest of our lives.” You snarled at him and mirrored is gesture.

“Don’t you think it still hurts that I hear that from our daughter instead of you?” He responded in the same tone.

“I don’t know why you suddenly seemed to care.” You grumbled. “Since you didn’t show any interest in me for… how long is it now? One and a half years?”

“You didn’t even let me explain myself and threw the divorce papers at me. How do you think I feel?” He angrily expressed.

“I don’t even need to tell you this, but there is no other guy. I went on two dates. TWO dates, Jolly.” You answered him while ignoring how his statement stung. You knew it had been egoistic of you, but the months before the divorce, he either wasn’t at home or when he was, he didn’t even look at you. You felt unimportant, unloved, neglected. And now he was throwing around these statements. You wished he had done it earlier. You wished he would have opened up to you. The fact that he only did it because he saw the potential danger of another person in your life, hurt you so much.

Jolly took a deep breath. “I feel like we never even talked about this whole separation.”

“You were the one who didn’t ask when I handed you the papers, Joakim.” You said, your tone a lot calmer than it had been before but you still were angry. You were glad that your daughter was having a sleepover at a friend's house that night, otherwise she would have already been downstairs.

When Jolly didn’t say anything for another solid minute, you sighed.

“Don’t you think it is a bit too late to talk now?” You mumbled defeated and ran a hand through your hair. “I hope you know that I didn’t do that to hurt you. We both know it would have ended way uglier if we dragged it out longer than it already had been.”

You saw how Jolly swallowed hard.

“You know I still love you?” He almost whispered and let his hands fall to his sides. When you looked at him like that, he almost looked broken… defeated. For the first time since what felt like ages, you felt like he let his guard down. Like he wasn’t trying to hide his feelings away.

“I know, Jolly.” You answered him. “And I also know that a part of me still loves you and always will, but we both know that this isn’t going to work. At least not like this.”

He slowly took a step towards you, carefully watching your reaction. When you didn’t look reluctant or took a step back, he reached for your hand and grabbed it.

“I am so sorry that all of this happened. I thought about everything that had happened. Long before the divorce. I know how cruel I was to leave you in the dark. To not talk to you when I needed nothing but your comfort. I thought that I would get through everything by myself.” He told you with honesty in his voice.

“You didn’t have to go through everything alone. That is what a marriage is for, Jolly. I would have been more than happy to help you. I still am if you need me.” You whispered out and looked into the eyes of the man you had and still loved so dearly, and you felt how your heart hurt.

“I always need you, y/n. I need you so bad.” Jolly responded and you saw how his eyes became glossy. Without even thinking you wrapped your arms around his torso and hugged him tightly. You felt how tears started to form in your eyes and it broke your heart when you heard him sniffle for a second.

When you leaned back to look at him, there was this foolish hope in your heart. The hope that you would be able to find back to each other. But your brain knew, even if you did eventually manage to do that, now was not the right time for it.

“Can I kiss you?” Jolly asked and you felt warmth form in your stomach. You knew you should have said no. You knew you should have been strong, but you still nodded.

Your lips met with a ferocity born from years of unspoken words and yearning. The taste of his mouth a bittersweet reminder of everything you had lost.

It felt like you kissed for an eternity and still, when you pulled away, it felt like it wasn’t long enough. You missed him. You missed everything about him, from his small jokes to the way it felt when you fell asleep next to him. He was what made this house a home.

“We shouldn’t.” You whispered against his lips, and he nodded. Before he could even think about letting you go, you pressed your lips against his for a second kiss. This one being much more eager than the previous one.

Slowly but surely, you stumbled towards the couch and soon you were laying under him, lips still connected as if life depended on it. His tongue slipped into your mouth, and you couldn’t help but sigh into the kiss.

It didn’t take long until his fingers curled into the waistband of your shorts and panties. For a second, he leaned back to look for consent in your eyes. When you eagerly nodded, he tugged them down your legs.

He kissed you deeply before lowering himself down your body. You shivered when you felt his breath against your core and not even a second later you felt his warm tongue sliding through your folds. He drew skillful circles around your clit. A wave of warmth washed over you as you moaned out his name and it felt so wrong and so right at the same time. You had missed him so much.

Your hand reached for his and he was quick to intertwine your fingers. Your nails pressed into the skin on his hand as your back arched in pleasure.

“Tell me you’re mine.” He pleaded as he raised his head for a second to look at you through his lashed and you felt like you could come on the spot.

“I’m yours, Joakim. I always will be.” You whimpered out and it was all he needed to hear as his head lowered again.

It didn’t take long for you to feel the waves of your orgasm washing over you, as you screamed out his name. Your vision blurred for a second as you came on his tongue. He kissed the inside of your thighs until you slowly came down from your high, before he came up to look at you again.

You grabbed his face and kissed him with such force, he feared to collapsed right on the spot. You could taste yourself on his tongue and the feeling of the fabric of his jeans against your naked cunt made you shiver in overstimulation.

In a swift motion, he turned you on your stomach and you heard how he unzipped his pants. The next thing you felt was hot kisses pressed to the back of your neck and you sighed in need. You needed to feel him, even if it was the last time.

“Do you have a condom?” He groaned into your ear.

“You don’t need one, Joakim. I’m clean and on the pill.” – “Got it.”

You clenched your fists into the fabric of the couch as you felt him enter you. A delicate burn formed inside of you as he stretched your walls. He was gentle but still you let out a small yelp as he bottomed out in one stroke. The small groan that escaped from Jolly’s lips, let you clench around him for a moment.

“God.” He moaned. “I wish I could stay inside of you forever.”

You moaned as a response.

“I’ll make you mine, even if it’s the last time.” He groaned as he slung an arm around your torso, making you slightly sit on him as he thrusted into you.

“I’ll be yours.” You whimpered and reached behind you to grab onto his hair. You moved in a rhythm as you felt the knot tighten in your stomach for a second time. One of Jolly’s hands travelled between your thighs and began to rub small circles on your wet clit.

“God, Jolly. I’m gonna come.” You almost screamed out.

“I’ve got you.” He breathed out as you felt the intense sensation of your second orgasm rolling over you. You felt how your body slowly lost strength, but you held yourself together for him.

You fell forward, leaning on your elbows as his hands grabbed your hips. Shortly after that you felt how he was twitching inside of you and he let out a loud groan as he finished inside of you, his cum filling you up until it began to drip. He grabbed the armrest of the couch in front of you to not let his weight drop on you as he mumbled out small love confessions.

For a couple of moments, neither of you dared to move. He peppered your shoulder with small kisses while you both tried to tame your breaths. Even though, you both didn’t want to, he eventually pulled out of you and got up, as you slowly laid down on your back.

After a minute or so he reappeared with a washcloth and gently cleaned you up, before helping you up from the couch and to the bathroom to go to the toilet.

After you finished and came back to the living room, he handed you your clothes and you both got fully dressed again, before looking at each other in awkward silence.

You knew what he was going to say, before he could even finish.

“Maybe, I should-…” – “Stay.”

He blinked a couple of times as his eyes lit up.

“Y/d/n isn’t coming back until tomorrow after school. You can stay.” You almost whispered and hoped he wouldn’t leave you in that state. “I want you to stay.”

“Okay.” He muttered and nodded slightly. “I will.”

As the two of you sat down on the couch, a wave of guilt washed over you. This was a forbidden taste of the past that only solidified the painful truth. You were bound by a love that could never be, at least not now…

dividers by @saradika-graphics

[mdhwrites]

THE. HERTA.

The writers from the Intelligentsia Guild wanted to give me an extra title. Something like "Herta Prime" to separate me from my puppets. How banal. Are the puppets not "me" as well? So, I gave them a suggestion — if they dared to write that, then I would call myself THE Herta. It's short, simple, straight to the point, and elegant.

Esteemed member #83 of the Genius Society, human, female, young, beautiful, attractive. It's said that she lives in the far edge of the Cosmos, almost never leaving. Sounds like her appearance this time... must be to deal with an issue that has to be handled herself, right?

Image and above text taken from Hoyo's English account on Twitter.

OH MY GOD I'M HYPED! And just this alone already feels right. I'll admit when I first saw her I went "Teen Lisa" at the design... But it's a teenager which is kind of major to me. Framing her that young fits exceptionally well with who she has been throughout the entire game. Hear me out:

When we first meet her, she's a petulant, uncaring brat who just wants to play with her toys and hardly cares for people who don't make her life more fun. A bad ending to Star Rail's beginning is sticking around and Herta losing interest in you because of the lack of change. All she cares about is her simulated universe.

By the time Ruan Mei is there though, she's spent a lot more time at the Space Station than she ever has before. She now has a group of peers she has been working with for a long while, something implied she hasn't done really, much like Ruan Mei. But instead of just taking charge and telling the others what geniuses they'll recruit, she's asking for input, wanting their thoughts, stuff like that. She is learning her game is more fun with more players.

A sidequest in Penacony pushes her the next step where she is given a heavy weight. A weapon used to destroy entire star systems. She doesn't mock the scientist, the gift or the weapon like she might have at the start. She treats the Stellaron in us as just a weapon to be played with after all. No, she solemnly tucks it away for later, respectful of the wish that someone who can maybe use it for good have it. It's a responsibility that she must accept, properly, with no one like Asta to shirk it off to. Instead of trying to ignore it though, she treats it with respect.

Finally, we have the Unknown Domain which has a LOT to it about Herta potentially opening up due to it being about something so critical to who she is... But the one I want to zoom in on is the ending. For someone who saw themselves as so high and mighty, who theoretically treats the universe as a curiosity to be replicated, who can only be interested in the strange and unknowable, the curiosities of existence... She gives a mundanite comfort. Thanks someone who could never approach her understanding for giving her the first step into being who she is. She knows it's a simulation but she feels that weight enough to feel the need to thank the simulation regardless.

And now she deems something so important that she comes herself? What could that possibly mean? She needs to kiss Ruan Mei? I can't even begin to properly guess but I am excited to put it mildly because we have gotten to see this teenager, some loli bait doll, become a young woman and now we'll get a physical manifestation of it and I LOVE IT.

Also, just a shout out to the description perfectly explaining why she's Ice Erudition again. "The puppets are me." So why would she be anything other than just a refined, perfected version of the puppets? Also she uses a keyblade/staff which makes the Kingdom Hearts fan in me happy and I'm just SO curious what we're going to see with her. A Herta who summons other Hertas? Does she spin with the key? Is the portal cat an actual thing to her? GIVE ME MORE INFORMATION STAR RAIL!

But for now, I am just excited to let my mind expand thanks to this first turn of her key to let us see who she will be. I just hope it's as exciting when she opens the door properly. See you next tale.

======+++++======

A reminder my asks are open and I'd love questions about Star Rail or even story ideas! I struggle more with concepts to write about for Star Rail far more than I wish I did and I'd love to hear your all's thoughts for a font of inspiration.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[kawaiibarty]

UMMM if this is not an intrusive question, could you pls explain the process of you transitioning? Like whatever made you feel you were with the wrong body? And how did it bother you sm? This is plain curiosity. If u wish pls help me understand.

ahhhh hi hi it's not intrusive at all!

so for me it was really something that took time for me to understand because i didn't know that people were allowed to feel different yk

when i was a child i wore boys clothes because it made me feel happy, during playtime i called dibs on the boy characters, my avatars in video games were exclusively male.

i felt really uncomfortable wearing certain things like skirts and certain shirts and even different types of shoes. my mom said i was really picky and difficult about it lol.

for a while i sort of started wearing skirts and stuff, around 11 to 13 yrs old but, idk it was an odd period for me. i just wanted to be someone my mother liked yk. anyway, for most of my schooling id been in an all girls school up until gr7 when i moved cross country and schools. this new school was co-ed and it was really weird because i felt excluded a lot of the time because i wasn't...yk i didn't act like most of the girls and the people i thought id fit in with didn't like the way i did things LOL. i just felt alienated and like an imposter because i wasn't doing....girl right? iykwim

then i went to highschool a year later and i was shoved back into an all girls class for two years where i realised i properly like girls, except i thought i was homophobic because i didn't like the lesbian label or the bisexual label even though id tried out both at some point. it was like, i know i like girls and i haven't liked a guy properly but that doesn't make me lesbian because...but what if it does because im a girl, right? (spoiler alert, i do like guys and i realised that i could use the label queer without it being a slur also cue asexuality)

anyway, i was introduced to non-binary and it was a reaaaal relief. im telling you, once i was seen as something that wasn't an uncomfortable little girl it was good. but it still didn't feel right so i toyed around with androgyny except i didn't like how uncertain it made me feel yk?

im not saying that people who are enby or androgynous are wholly uncertain but i didn't want to feel like a poseur because i KNEW what i wanted but i didn't know if it was real.

i dont remember when this happened but somebody introduced me to he/they and they/he pronouns and i grasped onto that and it was okay for a while. still didn't feel like i was going it right because i had long hair and wore skirts and was still called a girl or non-binary and i hated my name and everything about the uncertainty yk? like it just came back out of nowhere

then one day this little boy comes up to me, i kid you not it's a CORE MEMORY for me, but this kid approaches me and he's like "are you a boy or a girl" and i start panicking because im not a girl and i hate being a girl and im not a boy because...i mean i don't even look like one right? so i ask him "what do you think i am?" and he says, without even thinking about "you look like a boy. i think you're a boy." and

yk, ive never smiled so wide in my life. i told him "yeah you're right" and he FISTBUMPS ME and im all giddy and excited and i text my best friend @d-rxse and im like OMGOMG YOULL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED DUDE anyway that was three years ago

then i got moved to a co-ed class

it kind of went to shit after that because as soon as i came out as trans i got a new boyfriend and he had never dated a trans person before so for a while he used he/they pronouns for me and we called each other boyfriends up until maybe april of last year where he told me he was uncomfortable with it

so i was an idiot and threw away all my progress and said "you can call me your gf and use they/them pronouns and she/her in front of your friends" and yeah 👍🏼 progress gone. down the drain.

i fixed it tho, by the end of last year i was so done with his bullshit, i broke up with him a week after school started this year, cut my hair short, changed my name, pronouns and got a new phone. cut him out of my life completely. ive never been happier

[aching-tummies]

Hunger RP-Starter

Hunger RP-Scenario Starter inspired by recent events. Been stressed to the nines lately and went to bed last night with my stomach finally feeling pure 'hunger' rather than hunger mixed with a dash of upset somewhere. It growled quite a few times for me at that point--wish I had a partner to enjoy them with. It was too late to bother hunting down something to eat--and eating at 2AM would have likely caused an upset that I didn't want to deal with. Woke up about six hours later to more hunger pangs and more growls. While the hunger pangs were intense, it felt really, really, really nice to not have any trace of upset anywhere in my guts. Felt 'clean' and 'light' if that makes any sense.

You hurry to the couch, still-steaming bowl of popcorn in-hand and a cold drink in the other. Less than an hour ago, you were at work, counting down the minutes before you could trade your work-pants for PJs and just chill out over a movie.

Finally--date night. Considering the cost of actually going out, the two of us opted for an at-home movie night. Streaming exists as well as the countless DVDs and other formats we've each collected over the years.

As you get settled, we start the movie. I've claimed the far right side of the couch, curled over on my side of the couch. Shockingly, I've turned toward the armrest rather than toward the middle of the couch. Closed-off posture. Seems a bit odd to you, but you're hoping that I'll unwind a bit as the movie gets underway and 'date night' vibes start to hit or something. Until then, you've got a warm bowl of popcorn to warm your lap in place of me.

"Babe--want some?" You ask, nudging the bowl toward me.

"Pass. Sorry--I love the way you make it and all…but I don't really wanna pick kernels outta my teeth tonight." I explain, curling up on my side of the couch and nudging the bowl back at you.

About ten minutes into the movie, you pick up on a sound and pause the movie. I curse under my breath, having hoped that this action movie would have enough explosions and fight scenes to drown out any noises made here on the couch.

"Babe? What's going on? You okay?" You ask with a frown.

"Fine--Fine!" I stammer. A loud growl from my stomach interrupts my statement--a clear cry that the tank is empty. I blush at the sound, curling defensively against the arm-rest yet again.

"So…you're…hungry? Wasn't the plan to eat dinner separately? If you'd said something, I coulda picked up something for you on the way home--I was at McD's anyway." You suggest.

"N-No…i-it's not that." I stutter, causing a frown to replace your features. If I don't come clean with an explanation soon, it'll probably ruin date night.

I palm at my belly with a sigh. "I…My stomach's been really nasty the last few weeks. Stress and whatever. Been kinda…uhm…messed up and icky the last week or so. Y'know…s-stuff not digesting properly or quickly, guts tied in knots…that kind of thing." I begin, you nod, waiting for me to continue. "I just…t-today's the first day in a week and a half where my guts feel 'normal'. No residual sludge just sitting somewhere, no awkward cramps or twinges anywhere. No sickly, sticky bloated feeling anywhere. Nah…it just…feels like it's finally cleaned house and…w-while I am hungry…I just…I don't wanna rush into putting something in it. Kinda just wanna enjoy feeling cleaned out in case it acts up again with the next meal."

My stomach snarls angrily throughout my explanation, clearly hungry.

"S-Sorry…I-I know you really like this movie. I can take a nap or something in the bedroom if you wanna watch the movie in piece." I suggest, moving to get up.

What do you do? Pull me onto your lap? Come with to the bedroom to advance 'date night' activities? You gonna respect my desire to leave my guts empty? Is the replacement entertainment for tonight gonna be my very, very vocal tummy? You decide. Send me your best responses.

[moonyasnow]

Malleus x Irina

A little doodle I made of the two of them

(for anyone who can't use spotify, the song names will be at the bottom of this post)

I love them together so much

It is no longer possible for me to imagine either of them being with anyone else but the other. And for me that's really saying something— I ship my OCs with a lot of characters. And I'm a multishipper too— like, I can definitely find someone's, for example, OC x Leona ship really cute while still shipping my own OC Tomoe with Leona. But it's impossible for me to seriously imagine Irina with anyone but Malleus anymore, and vise versa

Edit 2: I answered an ask I got about them~

If this post gets even like 3 likes that's gonna be enough interest gauged for me and I AM gonna start infodumping about them and just going off the rails about why I think they're perfect and made for each other under the tag: #mallina 🐉x🐰

EDIT: IT NOW OFFICIALLY HAS 3 LIKES YOU ARE NOT SAFE THIS IS NOT A THREAT IT IS A STATEMENT OF INTENT I WILL INFODUMOP--

BUT! I'm gonna include what I wrote for them in Irina's Showcase Post, under the cut + some new stuff for Book 7

Book 2

One night she'd just been laying in bed unable to sleep, hearing the distant whispers of her parents fighting at the edges of her mind like usual, and deciding to go outside just to escape the confined room and get some kind of distraction from hearing them. She was incredibly startled hearing someone suddenly call out to her, having been too stuck in her own thoughts to notice him approaching like she usually could. She was honestly scared at first, though mostly as a result of being caught with her guard down, which she usually never was.

But as soon as she properly looked into his eyes, all that fear suddenly seemed to fade away in an instant. She didn't know why, but she suddenly started to feel relaxed in his presence, more so than she usually ever did. And she felt almost sad when he disappeared. But she told herself off for it; that was the first time she'd ever met him after all, and she didn't even know his name. But since he'd said she could call him whatever she wanted...

She'd call him Peridot, after the color of his eyes. 'Peri' for short.

Tomoe's (my 'Yuu') first reaction to the name 'Peri' was to laugh, explaining that it made her think of Perry the Platypus. And once she'd also had the thought, Irina couldn't help but laugh too, 'Peri' being exchanged for 'Perry' in her mind after that point.

Book 3

She ended up being asked by some Student or other if she'd thought about joining a club yet. She hadn't, not even really knowing which clubs actually existed. And so she decided to take a look to see if anything seemed interesting; she had a lot more free time after being fired from her job anyway. When she saw that there was a 'Gargoyle Appreciation Club' and that it had only one member, she knew instantly who that must be, and decided to join it.

Book 4

When Lilia showed up to give her the postcard, she knew who it must have been from. And so she asked Lilia to wait for a second, rushing into her room to get a box, with a letter attached, which she asked him to give to the sender of the postcard. It was a birthday gift for her friend Peridot; a clay tea pot, its spout designed to look like a little dragon, the handle on the opposite end sculpted into the shape of a scaly tail. The letter contained not only wishes for him to have a happy birthday, but also an explanation of the spout. She wanted to give him a Gargoyle as a gift, but she also wanted to make sure it was an actual Gargoyle, with a clear purpose, rather than just a decorative Grotesque. So she settled on a tea pot! Since it serves as the spout, the 'needs water spout' element of a Gargoyle was cleared, as well.

She wasn't there to see it, but when he got her gift and read the letter, he was so beside himself with joy that for the first time in at least a century, there was sunshine in Briar Valley. Not only was it a birthday gift from his best friend, hand-crafted no less, it was also incredibly thoughtful, proof to him that she'd been listening and paying attention to every single word of all his rambles about his beloved Gargoyles. The next time they met again, before any words could be spoken he quite literally picked her up off the ground and spun her around as a way to say 'thank you'. That was the moment she admitted to herself that she'd fallen in love with him.

He ended up insisting on them drinking at least one cup of tea for all their club meetings after this point, so he got a chance to use it. And he also insisted on the same for every single Housewarden meeting he went to, which he'd started to actually know the times and places of thanks to Irina knowing through Tomoe and telling him. If he'd had any less decorum he would have literally shoved the pot in the face of random people in the halls; he was that happy about it.

Book 5

She's also the one who gives Malleus the tickets to the SDC. For their booth at the cultural festival Irina made a bunch of small clay figurines of Grotesques and then wrote above them the differences between them and Gargoyles, to educate people.

When Tomoe meets Malleus for the first time, she lightly teases Irina, asking "So this is the famous 'Perry the Platypus."' Irina got very embarrassed, and Malleus, eyes wide with surprise, asked if that was meant to refer to him. Irina, face burning with embarrassment, then explains the name and its connection to a certain animated Platypus spy, but also says her nickname for him was actually supposed to be short for Peridot. It ended with Malleus bursting out laughing right then and there, Irina, still embarrassed, saying: "W-was it really that funny?" It then becomes a recurring inside joke of him calling himself 'her platypus friend'.

When Malleus began to fix the stage, not being used to magic and thus a bit scared at first, Irina moved close to his side out of reflex, feeling safer there. It made him really happy to think that for once, not only was there someone who wasn't afraid of him, but she even felt safe around him. Though she became very flustered when she realized she'd been gripping onto his jacket arm.

Book 6

She stays behind at NRC, in an unoccupied room at Diasomnia.

You can guess who invited her.

Book 7

I have not yet read Book 7, but! This time it's Irina's time to shine instead of Tomoe! Irina understands why Malleus does what he does, she also hates losing people; that's why she's not going to lose him to his Overblot

New Book 7 thing:

She runs to him, who's sitting on the ground, and throws herself around his neck. She's crying. “I-I-I was— w-was so— sca-red…!” Her voice is shaking and wavering so much from the tears that she can barely speak. “I…apologize, my dear Child of Man… I know now that my actions were wrong, but it was never my intention to frighten—“ “Th-that's not why!” Uncharacteristically, she cuts him off. “I was so, so, s-so worried! I thought you could die! I-if I didn't defeat you in time. I-I thought you were going to die! I thought I'd lo-lose you!!!” Then she just can't hold it in anymore— she starts wailing, just at the mere thought. She holds him tighter. When she's calmed down enough that there are no longer tears cascading down her face, she pulls back…and she cups his cheeks and pulls him closer so their foreheads touch. “I love you. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you! I—“

If you've read this far I'm gonna guess you're interested, and I'm humbly asking (begging) for asks about this ship I love them so so so so so so so so so muchhhhhhhh and I wanna YAP but I usually don't know where to start

Songs:

A thousand Years - Christina Perri

Once upon a dream [COVER] - Invadable Harmony

上弦の月/Jougen no tsuki/Crescent Moon - KurousaP ft. Kaito (MALLEUS' VA HAS SUNG THIS!)

After the War - Reinaeiry

Something Good - Sound of Music

And I'm Home - Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Terrified - Jazmin Bean

Camelot: If ever I would Leave You

しわ/shiwa/wrinkle [COVER] - Kashitarou Itou

Kimi Ga Irukara - Fairy Tail ending song

No One But You - Erutan

Captivated - IV of Spades

蛍/hotaru/firefly - Maiko Fujita

Love Like You [COVER] - Lizz Robinett

馬と鹿/uma to shika/horse and deer - Kenshi Yonezu

I am not Alone - When Marnie was there

Will o' The Wisp - Erutan

Necro no Hanayome/Bride of Necro - KANON69

Build a Little World With Me - Laura Shigihara

Will I Find My Home (acoustic version) - Juniper Vale

LADY - Kenshi Yonezu

Sway - Michael Bublé

Everything's Alright [COVER] - Lizz Robinett

Also way at the very bottom but here, original:

[horizon-verizon]

It's amazing how you talk about misogyny to mask your own misogyny towards a female character. You think you can end your ridiculous essay with "she's just empty and not compelling" then blame it to sexism and the writers. All you have to say is you hate that they gave Helaena a compelling ability that you wish your favs have. Have you actually seen the next seasons of this show to know they're not doing anything with her character and the dreamer ability itself? You know you're going to be so disappointed with your wishes. You're just seething they didn't give show Dany the dreamer ability and projecting your spite towards Helaena. So transparent.

Well this is awkward.

You're just seething they didn't give show Dany the dreamer ability and projecting your spite towards Helaena.

Let's say that them not giving show Dany her canon dragon dreams was part of my thoughts when I was writing the post you respond to.

Dany actually had dreams...while canon Helaena, you and no one can ever prove that she did, so the real question is why is there a discrepancy in your mind as to why Dany shouldn't/couldn't have her canonical dreams while a less important character like Helaena should/could? Makes no sense.

I don't really care or feel strong emotions for or about Helaena bc she doesn't do much. Not because she is on the green side and little to do with her own choice in the matter. GRRM clearly uses her to make other characters compare Helaena to Rhaenyra, the Shepherd, the coming Dragonpit disaster, the degredation of Rhaenyra's control over KL, etc.

Also, why do you think it' a good thing or acceptable that they removed Dany's dreams, which are critical to understanding her arc, the Targs, the climatic catastrophe that is the Others, AND as this is a fantasy series...we need magical elements?! So, back to the discrepancy, I rather think it is you who is showing a bit of sexism: bc unlike Helaena, Dany is not a girl-woman who succumbs to the patriarchal violence but fights back and is going to enact revolutionary violence. If you say "Dany is an incest child", you should know that so are a lot of Westerosi people AND Dany is still that revolutionary, anti-exploitation figure.

It doesn't sound like you care much about "truth" or bigotry, so much as you are entertained and validated in the bigotry you already carry.

Have you actually seen the next seasons of this show to know they're not doing anything with her character and the dreamer ability itself? You know you're going to be so disappointed with your wishes.

If it takes 2 seasons to properly distinguish a character (aside from establishing that they have an ability) as to what kind of person they are and that you had since the second half of the first, you've done something wrong. So, yes, HotD dropped the ball and it does have to do with sexism either on the writers or the execs, like how Legend of Korra wasn't given as much of a chance as it should have been. Whether bc of production stuff or imagination. Espec since there have been characters people actually made into real people in just s few scenes (the rest going off from that point) and that has not happened for Helaena yet...when it should have in the first season. And if you say "bc studios and execs are cutting down stuff for costs", then that just hammers in the point that this is not a good story bc it was not allowed to breathe and develop. It's just unearned spectacle after spectacle.

Right now, Helaena is still just a person who says stuff and people ignore or to characterize/reflect more on Aegon and Jacaerys (dance scene).

All you have to say is you hate that they gave Helaena a compelling ability that you wish your favs have.

If you only talk of Dany, no, already explained above. If you mean the blacks, no, bc i think that no one should be having dragon dreams amongst them. This is supposed to be an uncommon ability and none of the characters of the orig canon Dance story show signs of having these dreams. I'd rather we focus on story given. The anon who's ask I link first above reminded me of Duncan (Maekar's son) and Patchface and how this adaptation could have made their Helaena more interesting while keeping her dragon dreaming. I still prefer the canon a little more, but with their post, I'm much more amenable to vision-having!Helaena as long as she's the only dragon dreamer and she has actual dreams and not Raven-Symone visions where she's fully awake for them. You can go check that post out. Or don't, not my issue.

[floatingcatacombs]

Clear Card Crit

12 Days of Aniblogging 2024, Day 9

I've been waiting to go hater mode on this manga for years, but they just kept pushing back when it would end again and again. Only now that it's over can I properly lay it to rest. Full spoilers, of course.

Veteran Floating Catacombs readers should be well aware that Cardcaptor Sakura is my favorite CLAMP series, with a truly classic anime adaptation to boot. A couple of years ago I underwent a chronological readthrough of their works, and collected my takes in a series of essays titled "Why Is CLAMP Like This". My big takeaway was that they’re shoujo libertines, but it's also true that on some level, CLAMP defies categorization entirely. Unfortunately, their post-TsubasaHolic output has largely consisted of retreading old ground, with an endless progression of rehashes, sequels, and callbacks. Sure, there have been crossovers since the days of the CLAMP School, but it’s felt extra blatant this past decade and a half. We’ve gotten 2010s sequels to Wish, Legal Drug, xxxHolic, Tsubasa, and, of course, Cardcaptor Sakura.

How could they resist? Cardcaptor Sakura is CLAMP's most famous work by far, and its 20th anniversary was coming up in 2017. With promises of an anime adaptation and plenty of merchandising in tow, CLAMP got to work on the Clear Card Arc.

First things first: that anime is a terrible way to experience the Clear Card Arc, and Cardcaptor Sakura in general. A surprisingly weak effort from Studio Madhouse, the anime adaptation of Clear Card Arc has middling production values, a washed-out aesthetic with far too much bloom, and bland designs. Something's wrong with all of the eyes. I do appreciate the continuity changes to reflect the original's anime-only arcs – Meiling is back! However, this adaptation suffers from a staggering amount of filler. Even the manga-adapted parts play out at a dreadfully slow pace, as if they’re just stalling for time and padding out a dearth of chapters. I like even the most aimless parts of the 1998 anime, but here it just doesn’t sit right. Also, the new soundtrack is so bad that they start recycling the original OST halfway through the production.

The Clear Card Arc anime ends in a truly terrible fashion. By the final episode, we still know nothing about the main conflict, just that a handful of characters, including Syaoran, are deliberately keeping Sakura in the dark. We're left with only Sakura’s cryptic nightmares and a friend's ominous butler as clues. Ten minutes before the show ends, we’re still fucking around and baking sweets, until finally Sakura has an encounter with the presumed main villain that results in a timeline reset. The first few minutes of the first episode play out again, except everything feels a little wrong now.

Writing this out, this sounds almost kind of cool. Surreal, even. But for such a mediocre show, it's not that in the slightest! No resolution, no foreshadowing, just all of the plodding events from the past 21 episodes fully undone, as if the show is mocking and taunting the viewer. “How’s that for wasting your time?”

The Clear Card manga at least knows what it wants to be – a plot-driven mystery doubling down on the series lore. The first few volumes of the manga act as something of a smokescreen for the eventual plot developments, much like how xxxHolic Rei began as a continuation of the original before revealing itself to be an alternate timeline and getting plotty. Of course, this being the only stuff that the anime adapts explains exactly why it felt so vague and formless – it’s supposed to be an aimless rehash! You see, Sakura’s powers are now growing at such an unchecked pace that she’s able to create new cards unconsciously. Through recalling old memories she’s been unknowingly manifesting remixes of old CCS scenarios into reality, capturing cards that are largely simulacra of the originals.

I’ve gone back and forth on the merits of this plot twist, but having now read the whole thing, it’s one of the better tricks in this manga’s repertoire. It’s a bit of a meta jab at nostalgia – Sakura is simply going through the emotions because that’s what’s expected of her, to the point where the past is literally being summoned into the present, preventing any character growth or development on her part. I wish it had been the main narrative conflict, to be honest.

Of course, I can’t give them too much credit, because a lot of Clear Card’s problems can be blamed on CLAMP simply playing it safe with their characters. I went into it expecting to see cute moments of Sakura and Syaoran early on in their relationship, having confessed at the end of the original manga and again in the second movie. But it often feels as if they’re right back where they were before, fully unable to convey their emotions to one another and relying on friends and circumstances to mediate. Characters like Yukito and Toya don’t get any meaningful or sweet moments, instead showing up only to move the plot forward when their abilities or connections are necessary. And don’t even get me started on Tomoyo. Sure, she’s around plenty. But when plot comes to shove, she’s narratively set aside every single time, hardly even getting to dress Sakura in cute outfits. You can’t keep that from her!!! She needs her dressup time to live!!! Though in the end, I’m almost willing to forgive it all for Frogcaptor Sakura. Almost.

Anyways, as I said earlier the initial episodic format gives way to mysterious plot development after mysterious plot development. A lot of the card capturing is from here on out is largely incidental. Of course, the in-universe explanation is that Sakura is just manifesting cards left and right at this point in ways that don’t really require card abilities to be used, since she’s not being tested like in the original. But also, if we’re tapering down the fun card usage and the cute slice of life scenes, how much is really left?

Well, there’s a powerful sorcerer named Yuna D. Kaito who’s manipulating events behind the scenes. His goal, it seems, is to try and put pressure on Sakura in such a specific way that she manifests the exact card that he needs. What card is that? Why? What should be a straightforward scheme is drip-fed so slowly that it’s easy to lose the narrative thread. At least he has a cunty little rabbit who acts as his Kero-chan type guardian. She’s fun, although her role in the plot ends up oddly convoluted.

Kaito is the butler and sole guardian of a young girl named Akiho, who is Sakura’s age and gradually becomes more and more similar to her in both personality and demeanor as the series goes on. Unfortunately, neither of these new characters are a particularly exciting addition to this world. A more introverted Sakura without her existing social ties is fairly uninteresting, and it’s obvious from the very first appearance that the butler is scheming and going to be our Eriol-style villain.

Except Eriol wasn’t really that bad of a guy, was he? So one gets the feeling that Kaito’s villainy will give way to sympathetic motivations and a bittersweet resolution. This process somehow takes the entire manga. Sixteen volumes is an unbearably long length for the story actually being told here. For reference, the original Cardcaptor Sakura is only twelve volumes, and Eriol doesn’t even show up until halfway through. In the meantime, new characters are steadily introduced, and secret aspects of existing characters are gradually revealed, so it never feels stale. In comparison, Clear Card Arc has an incredibly small pool of new characters and concepts to work with, and it has to stretch them out soooooo much further than the original ever did. This means that Sakura as well as reader are constantly kept in the dark, and plot payoff happens so infrequently and is so carefully measured out that it just never feels good. The result is a truly meandering plot instead of anything resembling “narrative arcs”. 

It’s maddening. It’s lunacy. This is all pretty similar to the rest of CLAMP’s modern sequels – take the existing setting and add a few new characters, layer on the intrigue, provide some additional backstory, and see what happens. Drug & Drop and xxxHolic Rei are both like this, but they’re only a few volumes long apiece! Once again, sixteen volumes of drastically less substance than the original, is ridiculous. After the initial fakeout (which, to repeat, encompasses the entire Clear Card anime), the manga has a noticeable aversion to returning to the original’s vibes, except there’s nothing to replace it.

CLAMP’s modern artstyle, developed in the Tsubasa shounen mines, has noticeably thicker lines than their spindly compositions of old. It comes off as a bit simplistic in the early chapters, but as CLAMP drops all of their other series and begins to work at a slower pace, the drawings reach an impressive fidelity. Card Arc is a timeloop narrative with a lot of fairytale elements, so they went with steampunk and Alice in Wonderland as the primary motifs, neither of which are aesthetics that I'm particularly a fan of. At least they do go hard on them.

I’ve been putting it off, but I’m going have to actually summarize the later plot beats. Kaito keeps rewinding time for the sake of his Schemes, and curses Syaoran so that he can’t talk to Sakura about it. Great! He straight-up cast a spell of Narrative Contrivance. This will surely make things fun to read. Anyways, all of the time magic is taking a toll on Kaito, and he starts dying about it before we even know what’s going on or why. Sakura continues to get impossibly powerful, but it kind of stops being of concern to the plot? It’s is a shame because I was hoping they’d do a thing where someone dear to her has to try and put her down to keep the world from breaking.

CLAMP does finally detonate the setting in the last few volumes. We go full clockwork calamity, with every aspect of the narrative colliding such that the entire Tomoeda school puts on a steampunk fair revolving around a play titled “Alice in Clockland”, which was originally a magical book that nobody but Akiho read because she's the one who manifested it. Still on track? Okay, by putting on the play, Sakura and Akhio get sucked into the world of this book, but Syaoran (dressed as a steampunk catboy, for reasons) is able to dash in to help at the last second thanks to… Touya gaining the ability to stop time for a few seconds out of nowhere? Why are we stealing classic Jojo asspulls for Cardcaptor Sakura, of all things?

From here on out the manga aims to speedrun Tsubasa levels of Plot Bullshit. Syaoran has to fight his NPC doppelganger (also a catboy) because he wasn’t expected to make it into the narrative that Sakura and Akiho got sucked into. That whole mess ends with Kaito swapping Sakura and Akiho’s roles in the play, setting of a cascading chain of events that resets the timeline one last time and recasts Akiho as Sakura’s twin sister. That was Kaito’s plan all along. He needed to remove the magic from within her and place her under the protection of the Kinomoto family, so that evil British wizards wouldn’t seek her out and do fucked-up experiments to try and draw out her magical potential. That’s it! Why did this scheme need to be slow-rolled over the entirety of the manga? It’d be fine if it showed up late like Eriol in the original, but as a grand overarching justification for Clear Card Arc existing, it’s so shallow.

This timeline reset means that the opening of the manga rolls AGAIN, this time with Sakura and Akiho as bestie sisters. At least it explains why Kaito and the plot in general were so invested in making Sakura and Akiho converge on having nearly the same personality. Also, three or four separate characters take the time to call Sakura a siscon, including Tomoyo, who must be eating her own organs while saying that. I cannot fathom why they would take the time to brand her as such. I had to guess, it’s because stepsiblings are the one kind of ~scandalous relationship~ missing from the original CCS, and they wanted to finally get around to it decades later. But why is this coming up eight chapters before the end, only to be fully undone alongside the rest of this particular timeline in the finale? What did you mean by that, CLAMP?

Since everyone’s clued in on the time-loop bullshit at this point, Sakura and company are able to use the Clow Cards to record messages that can persist through loops, allowing them to break the cycle once and for all and travel to space in order to rescue the dying Kaito, who has… turned into a dragon and been imprisoned inside an illusory moon?

Look, nothing makes sense at this point, but at least this is compatible with my take on Touhou that any plot revolving around the moon is destined to become incredibly convoluted. Sometimes you gotta pull a quick Imperishable Night! The closest thing we have to a final boss at this point is an automated meteor spell set up by those damn offscreen British magicians, which Sakura does manage to disarm using her nascent demiurge powers. With one last reset, everyone gets their happy ending. Akiho can hang out with Sakura and friends and take care of Kaito as they figure out how to cure his time dragon illness, and she never has to worry about wizards hunting her down ever again. End manga.

Who is this for? Demographic crossovers have always been a strong point for CLAMP. They’ve got plenty of shoujo that can just as easily be appreciated by boys, and shounen and seinen that draw in all kinds. Combined with their unique aesthetics and atmosphere, CLAMP's best manga has something for everyone.

But Clear Card Arc is, comparatively, a funnel. You have to be a diehard fan of Cardcaptor Sakura to understand it in the first place, and you also have to be deeply invested in its lore and magic system. I don’t know about you, but those are just not what I come to this series for. Groups who will be disappointed include: Sakura x Syaoran shippers, slice of life enjoyers, acolytes of Tomoyo (patron saint of pining lesbians), people who like the nonmagical extended cast, and fans of the original anime who appreciate quality adaptations.

Clear Card Arc is a curious, yet ultimately meaningless, exercise in nostalgia. It mostly fails as a throwback, and decidedly fails as a soft reboot for pulling new fans in. Its priorities would interest almost no one except for CLAMP themselves, and its few novel ideas are stretched so thin that the whole thing feels like a well-drawn exercise in meaninglessness. CLAMP’s clearly been running out of steam these past fifteen years, shelving most of their projects in favor of ever-safer investments. Cardcaptor Sakura was the logical endpoint for this endeavor. And while they did enough obligate rehashing in the first few volumes to script the anime and stock the gashapon machines, one wonders who the rest is for. Were these sixteen volumes a passion project, borne out of total creative freedom, or was it stretched the way it was out of contractual and financial obligation? Both answers are dire.

Now that Clear Card is over, CLAMP plans to resume xxxHolic Rei, and while I liked that one, I hope more than anything that they’re able to take a good, long, break. CLAMP’s members are starting to grow old, and they've been working near-nonstop since early adulthood. Hopefully the royalties are good enough that they can take a break and get those creative juices flowing again, or even retire for good! I wouldn’t begrudge them one bit. They’re fascinating and accomplished mangaka, even if they also did Chobits.

One more rating, for old time’s sake.

CLAMP BULLSHIT-O-METER: 4/5

OVERALL RATING: 2/5

[jackals-ships]

actually rambling about sexuality and gender id stuff bc i find Language Fascinating and also bc Welcome To The Jackal Won't Shut Up Show <3

once again I have locked the windows (under a cut bc rambling bullet points)

think i told my moirail once that my gender is that tweet like "met a very pretty twink at the bar and we made out turns out he was a very handsome butch actually"

personally i Was a girl (and could be a girl again) and i do partially feel that my circumstances changed me into no longer (or not quite) a girl

however even as a girl i was a very masculine girl. baby jackal could Not tell you why dresses were becoming Bothersome but looking back it's like ah. baby butch that's the energy

(stone butch blues hit a lil too close to home the first time i read it and made me OTL)

boy is fine. man is. Not Quite. girl is what i Used to be. woman is. Not Quite Right Either. ma'am is bad but sir is Nice?

but also im a Guy and a Gal and both of those are gnc. the more like a Gal i feel the more masculine i dress, the more like a Guy i feel the more feminine. used genderfluid as a label for a lil but that also didn't feel Quite It

wlw and mlm solidarity in my jackal? more likely than you might think

DID think "okay maybe im a butch lesbian and some of this is comphet"

but i don't think so bc i don't care Who i kiss i just like kissing and holding hands and cuddling

^ "platonic and romantic Feels different" DO THEY? bc i would kiss my friends. i like kissing. my friends make my chest feel Fuzzy and Soft ?? i have yet 2 see a difference explained that makes Sense and maybe one day i will

i id as some kind of ace flavoring bc. gestures vaguely. it's funny when docs are "ah it must be a libido issue-" one time my theater tech teacher told us we can't fuck in the prop room. it wasn't me that did it but like with my body sending eye emojis I Understand Why Now,

i do not wish to be Touched. i am ambivalent/might enjoy Touching. this has yet to be properly tested but also im unsure if i Care to test it? there are other things i like Much More ?? (the things are kink) (chop chop put on the knights armor we're telling a Story)

(my moirail said my kink is world building and i haven't emotionally recovered since)

fiction is a whole different story obvs im exploring via my little freaks and squishing em together for funsies

but i still don't Understand What Sexual Attraction Feels Like yanno? i have not seen an explanation for this either that makes Sense To Me

tldr this is why i use queer most often as a short hand bc the longer version is just "shit man idk I just work here. sometimes"

[dynasty889]

Please post I have shitty wifi rn:

Uhhhh guys I fear I may need Steven Rodriguez in an anime now.

So just a quick preface, something I’ve started noticing about like my reception to the sagas is that I have to listen to them repeatedly for me to visualize the songs and understand why Jorge chose to include what he included, which is why I took a bit longer to write my thoughts. The only exception is Thunder Saga which I liked immediately.

I wasn’t freaking out like was at the end of the Wisdom Saga, but that doesn’t mean it was bad (I didn’t like God Games but it still blew me away - of course now I do). But I just kind of took it in silently this time?

Anyway, right now my favorite song is definitely Not Sorry for Loving You. Wangui’s voice is just amazing. I also really liked Gigi’s animatic. I know we’re not supposed to feel bad for Calypso, but man is Gigi making it hard. I have so many thoughts about how Jorge characterized Calypso and I just wish I knew how to properly write it down. But it always feels like it ends up being a defense essay lmao (I’m not defending her I’m just saying she’s portrayed sympathetically in EPIC and that we need to acknowledge Calypso in the Odyssey is very different than the one we got in EPIC).

I think Dangerous might be my next favorite. I also require a plushie of that winion Jay’s sister voiced. And the twerking winion. I did not expect Aeolus to get an indirect callback and I loved all the motifs in the later songs (whoops no longer talking about Dangerous). Definitely a vibe. But, Ody, my man, danger is definitely not your friend. The only other thing that isn’t your friend is your hubris (cough cyclops saga cough).

I think Six Hundred Strike tops Get in the Water just a tiny bit. I love Aeolus’ motif in the beginning and the ensemble voices. Also that 3D animation—WHAT?! Where does he find these people?! I’ll admit, I am a little disappointed how easily Poseidon was beaten. I know Jay said he’s better at long ranged but I still think it should’ve taken a little more. I am glad that Odysseus at least kind of acknowledges he was selfish but ehh I’m still gathering my thoughts on Odysseus. But y’all, Steven needs to star in an anime. His acting was fucking awesome. “Next to my wife…” fucking badass.

Get in the Water was also cool. Even after all this time, Odysseus still seems to struggle with ruthlessness. He tries to talk down Poseidon from fighting. I don’t really know how to explain it. And of course, Jay just HAD to bring back Polites, Eurylochus, Anticlea, and also the crew. Will we ever be free from the trauma???

Charybdis was also cool but because Charybdis doesn’t sing, it’s a little weird. Like it just seems like Odysseus is shouting out stuff. But I think the orchestration alone manages to cover for it. Like you can hear the intensity of the battle in the music even if Charybdis doesn’t sing. I think the way he transitioned from action to Odysseus’ longing was also pretty well done.

Also:

That’s like the peak of how many people were on the livestream. Act I ended with like 135,000 I think? Could be wrong, wasn’t checking every minute

[inchidentally]

Why do I feel like Oscar is intentionally keeping Lando at a distance because he assumes it would never work out? And Lando kind of wishes Oscar would show an interest but he isn't so Lando pulls back too? Maybe I'm totally crazy but feels like they're doing a double fake out. If not then why not just be friendly the way they are with other guys?

This is my thought on them too. Anon explained really well. I see the same when I look at them. One of them wanna get more friendly but other's shields up and visa versa :I

(the quote comes from this anon and possibly also this one I'd received before)

I've tried giving this a look at other angles since obv none of us knows - and likely won't ever know - for sure, and I think the one way I can see this being the case is mixed signals? bc I feel like it being deliberate on either of their parts is too far a stretch.

long thing below and usual caveat that no I do not write this stuff thinking I actually know what's going on and it's just for fun and I do not take it seriously !!

like on the one hand, for a while before and even after meeting Oscar, Lando kept having to hear about this "rookie" who'd soon be his teammate and how he'd be the more experienced one etc. jokes about him "looking after" the new kid and how is he settling in blah blah. none of which Lando was remotely enthused about, understandably so. unlike team sports, mentoring isn't really something teammates do for each other in racing since they're each other's greatest measure of competition.

and Lando joined F1 so young (and was in the McLaren development program even younger) that while his talent and personality often deceives a lot of people into thinking he's become established and experienced, Lando himself doesn't rate experience much when it isn't bringing race wins or the WDC any closer. and his personality on camera was largely defined by latching onto Carlos and Daniel. he was a little more vulnerable around Carlos but mostly the dynamic of big brother/baby brother was the same for both those relationships. Lando with Max F and the Quadrant folks is pretty different to who he is with those older guys.

so it's easy to see why he didn't feel at all prepared to play the role that everyone kept assuming for him when Oscar came along. and re this babbling I did I genuinely think the difference between how young and small Oscar still was when they first met in winter of 2022 to the infamous "did you grow, what the fuck" moment was transformational for Lando. you look at his eyes gluing themselves to Oscar when Oscar isn't looking and the cheeky way he keeps getting Oscar's attention - and the way Oscar can't hide his surprise and how pleased he is - and I truly think the dynamic started to shift from a sort of stiff friendliness to Lando being genuinely interested in this guy.

Lando said himself that before the season properly started, he and Oscar had been so busy when they were in the same space that they didn't really talk beyond hello and goodbye. which needn't have been the case. I think a fair part of that was Lando's poor bruised heart at having Carlos leave and then Daniel being bought out, just not ready to deal with what he could fairly assume would be some younger guy jumping in wanting to do the bromance bit and glom onto Lando's popularity - all while probably cynically planning to strategize a way to a better seat or maybe one day take Lando's place at McLaren. his knowledge of Oscar at that point was of what a strong up and coming threat he was and that he had the balls/audacity (depending who you ask) to go up against his development team. and that Oscar had gone F1 fandom viral multiple times and was actually an existing personality to F2 and F3 circles. nothing about Oscar seemed vulnerable or unsure and yet people would not stop asking Lando about him as if he were Lando's responsibility.

and as Oscar said, his low frequency personality can often get mistaken (even by Mahk Wibba!) for not caring or being engaged. and if someone wasn't aware of his social media then I could see them thinking that someone as cool and calm as Oscar was almost aloof or disinterested.

with that limited knowledge, Lando would have been right to be wary. hell, Lando was distinctly cool toward Daniel when Daniel showed up pushing the 'landan' agenda as replacing carlando. we all know they ofc became good friends. but we also know that Lando wasn't remotely going to be guilted by Netflix or the fans into feeling responsible or overly concerned for Daniel's struggles. Lando was still very young and focusing on cementing his place in the sport. Daniel's inner and outer turmoil as a 30-something was for him to deal with.

so knowing what we now do of Oscar, this was not an ideal setup for him to meet the driver and new teammate - The Lando Norris - who he'd been a fan of for almost all of his junior career.

and on Oscar's side, it is extremely safe to say that after the Alpine/DR drama he just wanted to get his head down and prove to McLaren he wouldn't be any trouble and was more than willing to put in overtime at MTC and solo with the engineers (I think he essentially said this in the Laura Winter interview). his time spent in the car would speak for itself. but I feel like it's also fair to assume that Oscar not only being a fan of Lando's already but also knowing that he was following in Daniel's wake, Oscar mostly tried to just… not be a problem for Lando. that he put all the power and control over how their relationship developed outside of the track and meetings fully into Lando's hands - if indeed a relationship would develop (and it doesn't always). Oscar was used to looking after himself and he'd probably preferred to not risk upsetting Lando's routine or worse, pissing him off. I would not be at all surprised if that's what Oscar assumed was the safest, simplest approach.

but !! Oscar not launching into a bromance for the sake of his own image and him not trying to push for a relationship immediately for the sake of cementing the partnership would absolutely have felt weird and alien to Lando. and considering what was popularly said about Oscar following the Alpine stuff, him not pushing himself into Lando's space possibly would've come off as distant or cold and probably a bit calculating/cocky. maybe even a bit as if Oscar was so sure of himself, his youth and so laser focused on his own advancement (and boy did Netflix frame it up that way, dramatic Dutch angle and all) that it seemed as if he didn't see the point or the need in benefiting from an alliance with Lando. again - that's just possible conclusions that someone like Lando who hates having his stability threatened might have felt.

this is an even more HUGE leap but we know that Oscar visibly watched Lando closely since the start of the season and was learning from him and about him. and that Andrea had already instilled his new 'team before driver competition' ethos. and that Lando had seen examples of Oscar showing up for him - as a teammate at least - when their relative 'fortunes' before the updates would regularly see Lando in a better position or a better result. and like, if I were to truly jump to a conclusion here I'd say that Lando's gradual thaw in between Australia and Monaco absolutely delighted Oscar - and that he wouldn't have expected any more from Lando at all. Lando being chummy with him during media and a bit of bonding over the state of the car at the time could easily have felt more than enough for Oscar. (and just to throw in here as well that in those much earlier videos together, there were little flashes of Lando's sarcasm bordering on passive agressive but Oscar just laughing delightedly. like I think he fully either didn't mind or didn't notice that Lando was bleeding a bit of genuine annoyance over the car into their dynamic at times. the British theory test is a very good example of that.) whereas from Lando's perspective, maaaaaybe Oscar being so content with so little effort from him - compared to Carlos and Daniel - could have confirmed his suspicion that Oscar wasn't actually interested in being truly friends or bonding? idk that's me really exploring a big blue vague space asgfjlsagf. even more than I already do lol.

now I'm not saying at ALL that these friendships are remotely phony or PR because they're absolutely close in real life! but there's also no doubt in saying that like a lot of the drivers, Carlos and Daniel show up to a new teammate with the usual bromance shtick in their back pocket. and with how successful carlando and dando have proven to be with fans and sponsors and networks, they play into it with just a touch of cynicism even now. again, not saying that's nefarious at all and Lando's no dummy when it comes to personal brands and "shipping" etc. the boy is a youtuber/streamer lol so he /knows/. but yea, the 'oooh aren't we acting gay!' and overly touchy feely stuff especially is entirely for the fans' benefit. and we eat it up aslgfjsagf.

but Oscar has literally never had a bromance in any of the stages of his career and he doesn't publicize any of his non-racing friendships like the boys from boarding school he's still close to. we know he has probably a higher level of awareness of queer existence/culture than most of these guys and he doesn't hide it. I know the bar is in hell but it's significant enough that Oscar's never once used 'gay' as either an insult or as a hilarious joke - and he's had an active presence on social media since 2019 (his dad managed everything before that). when a Prema challenge was for him to kiss someone in the room and Arthur kept pushing, we know from the thumbnail that Oscar gave him a kiss through the covid plexiglass and then rolled around giggling. but he didn't treat kissing a guy in particular as 'hilarious' and he's never 'played gay' with any other guys. he also doesn't talk about Lily as if she's an accessory or "his". he brings her up in the context of things they did together or things she told him etc. the boy just doesn't know any degree of toxic masculinity apparently!!

where this gets confusing for Lando is that men are always dying to touch or cuddle or fawn over him - whether it's as a cute little brother like Carlos does (sorry fellow carlandos but that's the non-rpf truth) as a stereotypical bromance like Daniel does (and oh how I love that his ass caught feelings when he didn't mean to) or some potent mixture of fondness and attraction, which constitutes basically every other man who's met Lando.

and god knows I've written time and again how poor Lando does not know what to do with Oscar when Oscar looks with such intensity and he says so many things that show Lando respect and care and kindness. but he simply will not touch him ?? and he won't even half-fake half-serious flirt with him !! and he won't even take the bait when a bromance moment is pushed on them ! and when they're pressed close like in Twister, Oscar looks pink and flustered and refuses to put his leg between Lando's even though Daniel and Carlos have practically wrestled Lando with limbs akimbo multiple times. Oscar initiating the side hug at Silverstone was such an event that even Lando looked staggered by it. that's so strange !! Oscar is not remotely homophobic and he's not at all stand-offish physically and he's fine with people touching and hugging him. sure he doesn't do excessive PDA even with Lily but he still does some. he clearly is fond of Lando and doesn't mind when Lando decides to touch him. but we haven't even seen them hug ! and Oscar will give Lando such sincere praise and respect but he won't use hyperbole or make jokes like Carlos saying he was jealous of Lando liking Daniel or Daniel cracking sexual jokes about him and Lando.

and I fully feel like that breaks Lando's brain a little and has to make him falter at times bc everyone touches Lando and crosses easily over into some form of casual intimacy with him. Lando hides absolutely nothing and is extremely easy going. people feel very comfortable engaging with him, knowing that he'll play along so long as they're being kind or friendly.

and I think that's where the decision Lando made to let his brattier moods out around Oscar comes from. it's a very weird sort of compliment to Oscar that Lando isn't worried about pissing him off or being rejected - and I think it came from Lando being a little frustrated with Oscar for not falling in line with how everyone else is with him and not being able to get a secure read on how Oscar feels about him. as well as like I said earlier how Lando would be a little passive aggressive in his humor but Oscar never took offense. so Lando lets all his petulance and impatience come out around Oscar in a way I don't really know that he does much with anyone else? I think there's been a few times he's gotten like that around Max but Max has a good strong hand with him. but even when Lando goes Full Brat like the beloved Tic Tac Toe filming day Oscar is still endlessly charmed by Lando and you can see Lando soften and blush bc he knows he’s really letting it all out and Oscar is still being so good with him. Carlos would’ve picked him up and put him in a bin and Daniel would’ve out bratted him ajsbjsbsjd.

we know that Silverstone was a huge stepping stone for Lando and Oscar's relationship but I wish I could pinpoint before then when it was that Oscar realized just how much he couldn't apply his former racing friendships as a model for interacting with Lando. that Lando is anything but 'typical blokey guy' and even more than that, he isn't remotely typical or like anyone else in any way. definitely it was after Australia and by Austria the shift had already happened and we could see Lando watching Oscar as much as Oscar watched Lando. the trust and beginnings of feeling comfortable had already begun to be earned before Silverstone for sure.

and by the time he did this BTG interview, the genuinely fond way he talked about Oscar and mentioned the ways they're similar is such a major shift from simply saying that Oscar is calm and super quiet and fast as a driver. then we hit Singapore (where Lando sought Oscar out to spray champagne on him) the double podiums and Oscar's extension.

and then the Austin weekend and the filming they did and Lando posting that beautiful photo of Oscar smiling back at him all seems to have brought them to a place where yea, if we're being honest the lingering looks and the sense of sweetness to their shared humor is the dynamic we've had ever since.

and at this point I think what people are mistaking for a fakeout or misunderstanding is just that their lives outside of racing are so vastly different. Lando is in perpetual motion and constantly in demand and if you don't do a common activity with him like golf or padel then good luck catching him. whereas Oscar has been snared by a growth spurt that seems like it's still going on and he's either sleeping, sleeping, sleeping some more, spending time with Lily, sleeping, or spending time with his friends if possible. so there just isn't really an overlap with how their lives are right now.

to go out on another pretty out there limb, the one thing I might say is that Oscar still defaults to letting Lando call the shots about how much he wants to spend time together outside of being teammates. his own life is so uncomplicated that from his perspective it would feel a little daunting to try and insert himself in Lando's ever-changing schedule and multiple friend groups - esp since he already has so much time with Lando anyway due to the racing calendar. we know that it happens at times and that it's never broadcasted, only mentioned after the fact. it tends to be flying together or choosing to have lunch or after race meals together. the one time that rly gets to me is after Vegas when Lando could barely muster the energy to hit the tables with Max, Ria and Aarava. we find out later he spent at least part of that night with Oscar and someone mentioned that Oscar will have wanted to watch the cricket so like? it's kind of touching as well as saying a lot that the best time for their social lives to overlap is when it can be calm and quiet and Lando specifically does not want to be busy or loud. Lando dopey with painkillers and moody about crashing out of the race, possibly holed up in a hotel room with Oscar and the cricket playing on TV just sounds very sweet and likely. but other than those moments, their social lives just don't intersect easily. yet!!

but yea, I think ?? that by now they've kind of reached a comfortable place of knowing - at least for now - what their relationship is. it's why I honestly assumed Lando was finally doing the visit to Daniel's ranch and wouldn't be meeting up with Oscar in Australia. they're simply not to the point of coordinating off season schedules. even less of a surprise since he ended up spending less than 24 hours in Perth before he and Martin moved on!

ofc we as fans cannot get enough content of them together and just want more. but a lot of that is McLaren social media deciding to drop off just as McLaren started climbing up the grid ??? if they can get their shit together for 2024 then we'll see as much Lando and Oscar as we always did Lando with Carlos and Daniel.

[box-dwelling]

So this may be controversial but one of the dual destinies critiques I agree with the least is that Phoenix's arc is over so he isn't needed. And while I empathize and I do think there are characters who exist in a state where they can be definitively done, I think Edgeworth is one at least post 7yg I don't mind him turning up for fan service but I'm glad he's limited to that, I really don't think Phoenix is because to be a character like that they need to be. a lot more thematically centric.

Phoenix began life as a self insert. Kinda by the nature of that its actually quite difficult for him to reach a point in his arc where he's "done" because real people never are. They're constantly growing and changing.

If you want to make the argument that the creator said so it's worth noting that the first time Takumi thought his arc was over was after aa1, a game that ends implying he will become a prosecutor.

And that would have sucked. There was so many interesting directions his character went in later games that absolutely ruled. But each time they happen they're a little bit invented from whole cloth. His arc in JFA is somewhat of a natural conclusion of where AA1 was going but his arc in TaT is entirely invented for that game. Poisoning and betrayal were never a big deal for him before. There were no hints Dahlia existed. It was just completely new material and it fucking works. It works so well.

Then we have another point where Takumi thought his arc was over but then AA4 gives us beanix, imho his absolute most interesting iteration. That came from stuff that is true about him but was basically only true in hindsight with that addition. He is vauge as fuck about his past. He does keep stuff close to his chest. But in the trilogy that's all just protagonist things. He can't claim he's knowledgeable about something because if it turns up in a case then he can't have it explained to him for the sake of the player. The more details we get the less flexible he become. He doesn't talk about his history because it's needed for important narrative reveals. But AA4 takes that and runs with it and makes him the most interesting he's ever been. But also leaves a ton of growth for him.

I would argue DD actually expands on that a ton. It shows him actively growing out of the Beanix version of himself and finding a good middle ground between who is is now and who he used to be, a person he's spends a lot of aa4 wishing he still was. As well as him grappling with his responsibility to these kids he's taken under his wing. We can argue if it's done well or not, there are things I wish were made more explicit, but I dont agree with this idea that he's just over and there's nothing more to add. I think there's absolutely more and more that can be added to him. They may hit a wall eventually but I think we're really really far away from that point.

The guy has a lot of depth and flaws still to be explored. His I can fix them complex while referenced is still something he's yet to really over come, he could open up a lot more, his fixation of found family has never really been explored, hell his actions towards Trucy and Apollo in hiding there parentage could be properly dissected and there's a ton more that could be added on to a character who still has a ton of blank space in his history as well as just expanding on concepts that are already there. Just look at how much he still gets explored in fic.

I think there's kind of this deference to authorial superiority in AA fandom that's worse than a lot of others because of how small the original team was but I'm skeptical of that whenever I see it. Shu Takumi has made some incredible games and I adore them and deeply respect his skill as a storyteller. But he is not the only person to make AA what it is and other people can expand on it.