#ziir is also. her sources version of butch or very close so I feel that Also informs some of this

[jackals-ships]

actually rambling about sexuality and gender id stuff bc i find Language Fascinating and also bc Welcome To The Jackal Won't Shut Up Show <3

once again I have locked the windows (under a cut bc rambling bullet points)

think i told my moirail once that my gender is that tweet like "met a very pretty twink at the bar and we made out turns out he was a very handsome butch actually"

personally i Was a girl (and could be a girl again) and i do partially feel that my circumstances changed me into no longer (or not quite) a girl

however even as a girl i was a very masculine girl. baby jackal could Not tell you why dresses were becoming Bothersome but looking back it's like ah. baby butch that's the energy

(stone butch blues hit a lil too close to home the first time i read it and made me OTL)

boy is fine. man is. Not Quite. girl is what i Used to be. woman is. Not Quite Right Either. ma'am is bad but sir is Nice?

but also im a Guy and a Gal and both of those are gnc. the more like a Gal i feel the more masculine i dress, the more like a Guy i feel the more feminine. used genderfluid as a label for a lil but that also didn't feel Quite It

wlw and mlm solidarity in my jackal? more likely than you might think

DID think "okay maybe im a butch lesbian and some of this is comphet"

but i don't think so bc i don't care Who i kiss i just like kissing and holding hands and cuddling

^ "platonic and romantic Feels different" DO THEY? bc i would kiss my friends. i like kissing. my friends make my chest feel Fuzzy and Soft ?? i have yet 2 see a difference explained that makes Sense and maybe one day i will

i id as some kind of ace flavoring bc. gestures vaguely. it's funny when docs are "ah it must be a libido issue-" one time my theater tech teacher told us we can't fuck in the prop room. it wasn't me that did it but like with my body sending eye emojis I Understand Why Now,

i do not wish to be Touched. i am ambivalent/might enjoy Touching. this has yet to be properly tested but also im unsure if i Care to test it? there are other things i like Much More ?? (the things are kink) (chop chop put on the knights armor we're telling a Story)

(my moirail said my kink is world building and i haven't emotionally recovered since)

fiction is a whole different story obvs im exploring via my little freaks and squishing em together for funsies

but i still don't Understand What Sexual Attraction Feels Like yanno? i have not seen an explanation for this either that makes Sense To Me

tldr this is why i use queer most often as a short hand bc the longer version is just "shit man idk I just work here. sometimes"