#I wish I could feel that comfort again

[spinobsessed]

That One Teacher

Im pretty sure that we’ve all had that one teacher that totally changed our lives, here’s mine

I had a teacher who changed my life in 3rd-5th grade, she was amazing and so comforting to me as a kid. Her hugs made me feel warm and fuzzy inside, a feeling I’ve been yearning for since I went to middle school, and she inspired me to want to be a teacher. I always thought I’d grow up, get a degree in teaching, and then become her assistant teacher. Child-me never thought that she’d move away, I was so heartbroken when I found out. I was in 6th grade and a while into the lockdown, I was mostly upset that I never got to say goodbye. Now she’s in Virginia and married with the bf she used to tell us abt, I wonder if she ever thinks abt me like how I sometimes think abt her. I was so attached to her too. I was the only kid allowed to sit next to her at the front of the class while she taught (whenever others tried to sit there too the other kid and I would be distracting), I would happily be at her side whenever I could, we’d sometimes sit and talk about stuff, she gave me fidgets (I was a very fidgety kid. I had like 3 and usually you just borrow them then put them back, but I was allowed to keep mine. I chewed on them) and ofc I was always hugging her. If I wasn’t hugging someone else then I was hugging her. Once we went on a field trip and I tried to touch foreheads with her bc I saw it as an act of affection on TV but she asked “what are you doing?” And I was so embarrassed I didn’t even look at her for the rest of the field trip. On the last day of 5th grade she gave me a big hug and told me that she knew I was scared to leave elementary school, tbh I don’t think I was fully paying attention bc I remember looking down her shirt and then back up at her face. I think I had a crush on her lol

[asurrogateblog]

The Syd Poll

the topic of this poll is one that is frequently avoided in the pink floyd fandom, but inevitably one we all consider – our individual views on what we think caused syd's psychological struggles (and by extension, led to his departure from the band). I think that – at least in this neighborhood of tumblr – this is a conversation we are capable of having in a way that is civil, nuanced, and at least minimally disrespectful to syd.

So, to help facilitate this, here are some ground rules:

let's all assume we have a mutual understanding of the complexities of this. syd could never actually be reduced down to a poll, and all of our viewpoints are limited in various ways

the poll options just serve as just a conversation starter, and responses are not necessarily a statement of absolute beliefs

feel free to discuss as much or as little of your own perspective as you feel comfortable sharing.

in the case that debates break out, please try to assume good intent – and also demonstrate it (unless, for instance, someone is being blatantly insulting beyond a misunderstanding that needs correcting)

please do NOT vote if you are not actually a pink floyd fan with at least basic knowledge about what we're talking about here.

The options I've included below are not meant to be exhaustive, they are simply the "theories" that I have seen most commonly circulated. I have also decided not to include combinations. I'm fairly sure we'd all agree multiple factors were involved. Rather than make the poll too complicated, I ask you to instead select the one that you think is the "most" important to your viewpoint, and clarify further in your tags/comments as you wish.

so. here we go.

READ BEFORE VOTING ^^^^

(note of correction: "late-onset schizophrenia" should just be "schizophrenia". the typical timeline for onset of symptoms is late adolescence/early adulthood, so syd would've been well within that period at the time)

[angy-grrr]

thoughts:

Himiko Toga never chose a villain name because she has always been the monster and demon for others, internalizing it. But also because she isnt trying to be someone else, but proudly show herself and her love -AFO exploited this to reaffirm the previous, so she never even realized she could give her blood for others.

Ochako Uraraka's goal and arc isn't finished until we see a few main points: "who will save heroes?" A discussion about heroism and saving, and I wouldnt be too surprised if saving villains also come up here as a developed version of the first. They are all people, and that's what matters over their assigned roles. "Himiko Toga". Where is she? Ochako's arc can't be finished until we see or hear what ended up happening. "What does she feel about it all?" She needs a resolution and express her feelings, and with the hiding she has done recently I cant help but wonder even more about Himiko's state, as she is the person who makes Ochako feel safe enough to talk about her thoughts. And lastly"You like him, dont you?" What will happen with her love for Izuku? Is she going to hide it, confess, talk about it more with Himiko? I still think about "the reveal" during her fight with her, and her hair covering her whole face... It could be because she "needs" to tell and show her whole face to Izuku*. I would prefer it another way tho

*She said she admires Himiko for being able to say her feelings and love who she does with her whole face, if I remember correctly, while remembering an Izuku who is looking somewhere (someone?) else smiling. I believe its important that she doesnt have her face shown there, but we still dont have a clear reason why. Is she just not able to show that love to Himiko because she hasn't shown Izuku first? Is it because she no longer feels it? In the next panel she says shes now going to stop her, we can see her face, and her mouth is covered in blood. Is it because their battle was never about him? Because she is ashamed of those feelings? Because she doesn't want to engage in them?

With chapter 425 taking us by surprise because of her first interaction with Midoriya after the war, I prefer to think she has her hair covering her face because she still can't be honestly herself with him. Partially? Yes completely, but she can't tell him her feelings like with Himiko.

I hope she expresses her feelings to the class, to her parents, her friends, the civilians... but I really don't think a confession to him and him only would solve anything.

She doesn't want or can't chase him and his feelings like with Himiko; Izuku is acting weird, upset about many things, and she doesn't see that, im sure she would have tried to help if she actually knew. Even tho she looks around to find a crying Himiko, she doesn't try to do the same now, and in fact rejects it; she decided her feelings are not for him or others to see, at least at the moment.

So how does Hori plan to change this in such little time? Is Izuku going to chase after her, when thats what he has always done with everything he wants? Doesn't he deserve to be chased back? Doesnt she deserve the right to decide how much of herself she wants to reveal to him? Or mourn the loss in her own terms, in case Toga's dead or she thinks she is?

With her feelings for both Midoriya and Toga she has tried to put heroism first, focus only on that; with the first one because she fails at her goals and just blindly imitates him without finding herself, and the second one because she shouldn't feel that way and questions herself over those quite frequently.

I have no idea if Horikoshi plans to make her put her feelings first for him over heroism like she did with her -risking it and acting against what a hero "should" do so they can both just be Himiko Toga and Ochako Uraraka.

I have no idea, but it would make me so sad if he did.

EDIT:

In chapter 424 we see Shoto first in the hospital, when the narration explains things cant be as simple as Deku thought as a kid. Then Ochako appears, with her arm over her stomach probably thinking about her fight. It can't end so easily, and I wouldnt be surprised if chapter 427 or 428 was about them.

Fun thought: what if Himiko is the one about to see Spinner? jkjkjk. It could be cute tho.

[brown-little-robin]

I need to sleep for 70 hours and then maybe I'll feel not evil again

[simcardiac-arrested]

no actually I’d like to hear your thoughts on the isat ending

Like i said it felt really tropey and by that i meant that it’s just Everything Good Happens forever and…..that’s it ? like idk we were building up to this huge catharsis sort of thing and then we got to it and it was so sudden and not a good payoff and just kind of nothingburger of an ending . the fact that everyone just forgives siffrin bothers me, or at least the fact that they don’t confront them about the shit they’ve said and done. call me a mental illness villainizer but i think if you’re a fucking asshole and doing the most insensitive things to the people you care about then hey, i think those ppl have a right to fucking tell you off for it. likeeee idk being at your lowest point …… not an excuse …. not feeling it chief ……. like sure the message is to move past your mistakes or whatever but ? that doesn’t mean just getting away with it ??? and i just really don’t understand Why everyone forgives him. honestly at the end of the day the ending is just one problem, the root of which are the characters. everyone feels like trope cardboard cutouts. oh, this is the smart one. this is the smol bean. this is the himbo. and they all care for each other btw. Did u hear that? they all care for each other. we’re not really going to explain to you why these people are so close or what they went through together but just trust me man they’re sooo found famy. like …. okay. i’ve played 30 hours of this game and not once did i buy that any of the characters really cared about each other. like??? why???? You’re telling me everyone super cares about siffrin even though they barely know them?? you’re telling me siffrin cares about everyone sooo much even though he never even bothered to find out their problems before ? Wat ? and this just breaks the ending more because literally whyyy do these people care about him so bad. and then it’s just whyyy does siffrin Have to tell them anything he doesn’t even seem to know them that well. everyone feels like colleagues and Just Friends at best. and so the ending just seems really forced. like it was written by that type of tumblr user who’s always talking about aww why does the found family have to break up after the end of the journey :( which is like fiiiiine. i guess. but u guys know that u have to build up to it right?? you can’t just tell me they’re Family Members(tm) 102829 times and that they super care about each other source: trust. you can’t just do that and then expect me to believe it ….. It feels unearned. the ending feels unearned and i don’ttttt understand what i’m supposed to take away from it . that it’s ok to fuck people up because you’re traumatized and insecure?? that you have to talk about your deepest problems with people you barely know??? i just dont know. Like i said if im being honest the problems with this game’s writing are more than just the ending, it just stands out so much because there’s a lot of build up and then just …… That

[acourtofquestions]

Rowaelin Chapter 41 Kingdom of Ash:

She'd rebuild it—what she had been.

Perhaps one last time, perhaps only for a little while, but she'd do it. If only for Terrasen.

Rowan swooped from the mast, shifting as he reached her side at the rail. He surveyed the night-black sea beyond them. "You should rest." She slid him a glance. "I'm not tired." Not a lie, not in some regards. "Want to spar?" He frowned. "Training can start tomorrow."

"Or tonight." She held his piercing stare, matched his dominance with her own.

"It can wait a few hours, Aelin."

"Every day counts." Against Erawan, even a day of training would count.

Rowan's jaw tightened. "True," he said at last. "But it can still wait. There are ... there are things we need to discuss." The silent words rose in his animal-bright eyes. About you and me.

Her mouth went dry. But Aelin nodded In silence, they strode into their spacious quarters, its only decoration the wall of windows that overlooked the churning sea behind them. A far cry from a queen's chamber, or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin.

At least the bed built into the wall looked clean enough, the sheets crisp and stainless. But Aelin headed for the oak desk anchored to the floor, and leaned against it while Rowan shut the door.

In the dim lantern light, they stared at each other.

She'd endured Maeve and Cairn; she'd endured Endovier and countless other horrors and losses. She could have this conversation with him. The first step toward rebuilding herself.

Aelin knew Rowan could hear her thundering heart as the space between them went taut. She swallowed once. "Elide and Lorcan told you... told you everything that was said on that beach."

A curt nod, wariness flooding his eyes. "Everything that Maeve said." Another nod.

She braced herself. "That I'm-we're mates."

Understanding and something like relief replaced that wariness. "Yes."

"I'm your mate," she said, needing to voice it. "And you are mine."

Rowan crossed the room, but halted a few feet from the desk on which she leaned. "What of it, Aelin?" His question was low, rough.

"Don't you..." She scrubbed at her face. "You know what she did to you, to ..." She couldn't say her name. Lyria. "Because of it."

"I do know."

"And?"

"And what do you wish me to say?"

She pushed off the desk. "I wish you to tell me how you feel about it. If…"

"If what?"

"If you wish it wasn't so."

His brows narrowed. "Why would I ever wish that?"

She shook her head, unable to answer, and stared over her shoulder toward the sea.

It seemed like he would close the distance between them, but he remained where he was.

"Aelin." His voice turned hoarse. "Aelin."

She looked at him then, at the pain in his words.

"Do you know what I wish?" He exposed his palms, one tattooed, the other unmarked. "I wish that you had told me. When you realized it. I wish you had told me then."

She swallowed against the ache in her throat. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"Why would it ever hurt me to know the truth that was already in my heart? The truth I hoped for?"

"I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how it was possible. I thought maybe ... maybe you might be able to have two mates within a lifetime, but even then, I just ….." She blew out a breath. "I didn't want you to be distressed." His eyes softened. "Do I regret that Lyria was dragged into this, that the cost of Maeve's game was her life, and the life of the child we might have had? Yes. I regret that, and I wish it had never happened." He would bear the tattoo to remember it for the rest of his days. "But none of that was your fault. I will always carry some of the burden of it, always know I chose to leave her for war and glory, and that I played right into Maeve's hands."

"Maeve wanted to ensnare you to get to me, though."

"Then it is her choice, not yours."

Aelin ran a hand over the worn wood of the desk. "In those illusions she spun for me, she showed me variations on one more than all the others." The words were strained, but she forced them out. Forced herself to look at him. "She spun me one dreamscape that felt so real I could smell the wind off the Staghorns."

"What did she show you?" A breathless question.

Aelin had to swallow before she could answer. "She showed me what might have been—if there had been no Erawan, if Elena had dealt with him properly and banished him. If there had been no Lyria, none of that pain or despair you endured. She showed me Terrasen as it would have been today, with my father as king, and my childhood happy, and..." Her lips wobbled. "When I turned twenty, you came with a delegation of Fae to Terrasen, to make amends for the rift between my mother and Maeve. And you and I took one look at each other in my father's throne room, and we knew."

She didn't fight the stinging in her eyes. "I wanted to believe that was the true world. That this was the nightmare from which I'd awaken. I wanted to believe that there was a place where you and I had never known this suffering and loss, where we'd take one look at each other and know we were mates. Maeve told me she could make it so. If I gave her the keys, she'd make it all possible." She wiped at her cheek, at the tear that escaped down it. "She spun me realities where you were dead, where you'd been killed by Erawan and only in handing over the keys to her would I be able to avenge you. But those realities made me ... I stopped being useful to her when she told me you were gone. She couldn't get me to talk, to think. Yet in the ones where you and I met, where things were as they should have been ... that was when I came the closest."

His swallow was audible. "What stopped you?"

She wiped at her face again. "The male I fell in love with was you. It was you, who knew pain as I did, and who walked with me through it, back to the light. Maeve didn't understand that. That even if she could create that perfect world, it wouldn't be you with me. And I'd never trade that, trade this. Not for anything." He extended his hand. An offer and invitation.

Aelin laid hers atop his, and his callused fingers squeezed gently. "I wanted it to be you," he breathed, closing his eyes. "For months and months, even in Wendlyn, I wondered why you weren't my mate instead. It tore me up, wondering it, but I still did." He opened his eyes, and they burned like green fire. "All this time, I wanted it to be you."

She lowered her gaze, but he hooked a thumb and forefinger around her chin and lifted her face.

"I know you are tired, Fireheart. I know that the burden on your shoulders is more than anyone should endure." He took their joined hands and laid them on his heart. "But we'll face this together. Erawan, the Lock, all of it.

"We'll face it together. And when we are done, when you Settle, we will have a thousand years together. Longer."

A small sound came out of her. "Elena said the Lock requires—"

"We'll face it together," he swore again.

"And if the cost of it truly is you, then we'll pay it together. As one soul in two bodies.

Her heart strained to the point of cleaving. "Terrasen needs a king."

"I have no intention of ruling Terrasen without you. Aedion can have the job."

She scanned his face. He meant every word He brushed the hair from her face, his other hand still clasping hers to his chest, where his heart pounded a steady, unfaltering rhythm.

"Even if I had my choice of any dream-realities, any perfect illusions, I would still choose you, too."

She felt the truth of his words echo into the unbreakable thing that bound their very souls, and tilted her face up toward his. But he made no move beyond it.

She frowned. "Why aren't you kissing me?"

"I thought you might want to be asked first."

"That never stopped you before."

"This first time, I wanted to make sure you were ... ready." After Cairn and Maeve. After months of having no choices whatsoever.

She smiled despite that truth. "I'm ready to be kissed again, Prince."

He let out a dark chuckle and muttered, "Thank the gods," before he lowered his mouth to hers.

"You're my mate." Her words were a breathless rush. "And I am yours."

The world might have been burning around them for all she cared, all he cared, too.

"Together, Aelin," he promised, and she heard the rest of the words in every place their bodies joined. Together they would face this, together they would find a way.

Together we'll find a way, their mingling breaths, the crashing sea, seemed to echo.

Together.

[nonokoko13]

Ok so today I found out Nanbaka ended some time ago so I spoiled myself and man, the ending was so rushed and angst for no reason and overall disappointing??? The author threw very important lore info and a plot twist that felt all out of the blue near the ending... I love angst but when it is well written, and this was not. Their friendship was real, even if prior to the series start wasn't I know what I read was real friendship and this ending ruins for me one of the main themes of this show.

I don't post a lot about this series because I started it before I even had Tumblr but Nanbaka was everything to me back then. Even after I was forced to move on because the english translation stopped and finding all chapters fan translated was very difficult I'd find myself thinking about these characters sometimes and I almost dare to say that it was a comfort series. Not being able to keep reading it without going through a Odyssey was already upsetting but the ending? What in the actual fuck is that. Is not even the fact it was a sad ending what bothers me the most, it's that it was sad and felt bad written or without proper building 🙁

This literally summaries my opinion regarding what happened to the main group:

Now I feel bad? Bad like when you receive bad news irl? Like I've received a punch in the stomach or a betrayal from a dear old friend

If spy x family or yuu & grim (including all of their friends in twst) separate in the end I'm losing all hope of being happy and relaxing with this trope without fearing the chance of getting backstabbed again forever

God please let them stick together or I'm going to make you the same thing you have done with me

[bunnihearted]

🏩🧸🎀🪞

[puppyeared]

i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court

[heartual]

had such a good experience with surgery today i can’t even fully explain

[rosicheeks]

🙃

[markiafc]

what i treasure about summer sons is the sexual trauma, forever and ever. the original sin, where andrew's mouth was violated by an eddie possessed by inexplicable evil; an assault between same age twelve- year-olds, best friends, step-brothers, etc. and andrew was forced to ingest eddie's bodily fluids in the process. the text likening this event to andrew performing oral sex on sam.... how that's andrew's primary conception of sex. (the coating of rotten copper that had clung to his gums ... ch 27 / the sour taste in his mouth from from failing to brush his teeth after swallowing another man’s come ch 26).

the very first rape which is recreated over and over again; the haunt's painful yet stimulating entry into his body, into his "drooling mouth" + his throat + his chest; the gagging, the choking, the swallowing down of nosebleeds, the vomits. the sexualized, predatory terror of a ghost who wants andrew carnally. and troth too who roofies andrew's drink so she can torture him into giving his body over to a full possession - who removes his shirt and touches him "above his belt-line", then she forces his mouth open to do what eddie did to him. again connecting this hurt at troth's hand to the pattern of oral rape (the paste clung to the inside of his throat, coarse and stale ... ch 29).

there's a really lovely nuance: what happens in the cavern that no one - not even their parents or friends or lover - knows is given gravitas. a significance. but it's also eclipsed.... or simply interwoven w/ the next decade or so of andrew's (& eddie's) life. a bigger picture, which takes in other life-changing assaults, eddie's implied and ambiguous night-time touches, the risky promiscuity they had with women for years, a resulting fear and hatred of women as a result, andrew not being able to conceive of consent at all, their using del as a sex doll, etc. etc. etc.

andrew's story comprises the foundational violation in the cavern and every subsequent sexual danger and violence which came through it. the gateway for his entire life and (sexual) identity getting twisted up. many, many things about him are tainted beyond eddie's initial touch.

[vincent-sinclair-deserved-better]

hm

thinking of my blorbos but not in a "i love you you love me all is well" way but a "i love you hope you kill me" way lol

[saltpepperbeard]

you ever feel trapped? like you’re just treading water, waiting to drown?

[fitzselfships]

I have been having really upsetting dreams lately (had one last night that has been Really bothering me) so I'm going to try cuddling with my Zooble plush since I usually don't have dreams like that when I sleep with them

[theood]

It might just be a lot of things. I really don't know. I don't like not having any energy after work but it staves off a lot of our thought processes but at the same time I don't love it. It's tolerable but I want to be doing something else. I wanna be in the dirt and I want to feel the earth under my feet and I want to know she's listening to me and telling me it's ok and I want to take care of her like she's taken care of me. I want to plant trees and cut back weeds and learn to identify our native plants and I just can't do any of that and make a living. It's not even a volunteer opportunity for me. I'm just some random citizen who didn't even go to school for any of it. And I'm so lonely. I'm the loneliest I've been. I love all my friends online I do. Truly and wholly but it doesn't help the fact that I have no one around me irl. And it hurts. And I'm scared. And I am so small all the time. And I just want it to change.