#I wish I could do formatting nonsense on tumblr

[gingermintpepper]

Meet-Cute

Days that pass like sand,  blowing idly by  in the summer wind

he dreams of snakes,  long-fanged, like vexed bees, stinging at his scalp “Purify yourself,”  but he has not sinned

…he does not protest

The river is green-blue. Alive. He feels its heart beating beneath the slick rock of its banks.  Old river. Gorgeous thing. Bent into the shape of a shepherd’s crook, flowing but tame A nursery for fresh-born nymphs too young to stand the ocean’s tide-pulls  or maybe a reprieve from rough Summer’s overbearing heat 

He slips his robe from his shoulders. Unbinds the curls of his hair.  There is almost regret in his heart. Almost tragedy. Almost pain.  Each ritual bath is a spectre of the first, blood sinking deep into his flesh,  poison that will never stop burning. He empties his lungs of air and steps

Light-footed, like air down the forest path she goes a-walking

she’s dreamt of violets since summer’s first dawn a maiden possess’d

“Purify yourself,” that’s what father said

...This is how they meet

(Gold  like sun slicing through the clouds  like full-grown barley begging to be picked  She’s gold and slim and gorgeous  bathing in the river

The nymph is new  like speckled flowers blooming on a rose bush  she calls to be admired  and Evadne cannot resist her allure)

-Extracts from 'The Greenhouse Floor'.

[loulalover]

sinful irony.

adam x fem! reader.

summary: Your forced into a Christian camp because of your mothers lies to her church friend. But after you see her son your sold. Only question is how do you seduce her Christian son or what if you already have?

cw/tw/tags: SMUT, porn with plot, camp counsellor au, m masterbation, oral f receiving, p in v, degrading, use of the word daddy, slight public sex, sort of dubious consent, mentions of pregnancy, virgin adam, adam is my own warning!! let me know if I've missed anything cause i'm SO tired!!

!a/n: i'm not liking this at all but i just want it done!! so i hope at least someone finds this enjoyable cause the formatting is killing me cause I tried to make all the text small and it kept crashing my tumblr so I’m done!! fuck being aesthetic I guess!! @sniigura

Eden camp where all teens went to learn how to be a better Christian’s and in all honesty there was no place better to go and as camp approached Adam was uncertain on what it would entail. He had perfected most if not all of the activities they did when he was a camper so now it was time to flex his skills to a bunch of teens and teach them what is right and what is wrong. Although his ideas of what right and wrong might be a bit misconstrued?

Maybe if his childhood was remotely normal he would have been a normal adult that goes out partying and drinks a shitload of alcohol during the summer but instead his pretentious mother had convinced him to be a youth leader at camp this year. Let’s give three big hoorays for Sera and her amazing ideas!

Adam was excited to an extent, but then there was Lucifer. The slimey son of a bitch who stole not one but two of his ex girlfriends. You can’t really come back from that and to top it all off he was the one that Adam was leading the boys Cabin with. The fact he’d even have to be in the vicinity of and share air with that fucker made his skin crawl with disgust l.

At least he had his best friend Lute would be there who was trying her best so keep her composure after being assigned a cabin with Lilith. Lucifers soon to be wife and Adam’s first ex girlfriend. If you could even call her that. The relationship was off? To say the least. And if it couldn’t get any worse Eve would be there. Of course she would, when this all started they were happily in love and talked about how going away and teaching at a camp for a couple weeks would be so beneficial to their relationship. But alas she would be there.

Sweet Eve, who wouldn’t love the ever loving, beautiful church girl? The girl who’d foster baby birds back to health after they fell from their nest and would go out of her way to help lost children in the supermarket find there parents. Adam. Adam did not love her. In fact he despised her in a way. Okay maybe not despised but it’s hard to love the girl who cheated on you with your ex best friend and ex girlfriend. Just because you never slept together!!

He kind of wished as the days approached that Eve would get into some horrific accident so he wouldn’t have to face her. As horrible as that sounds.

He just couldn’t imagine having to face them all after he walked into Eve’s apartment that day to them fucking like bunnies. It was a sight for sore eyes and as much as it hurt Adam to let go of Eve and all they’d been through together he couldn’t seem to make peace with the fact she’d sought out others and ended the relationship a week later. They still saw each other of course in places like University, church and most importantly the youth group they started running together in their senior year of high school for young teens wanting to learn about Jesus.

He should have just found a new youth group and started assisting there but Sera talked him out of it. She spewed nonsense about how the kids loved him and needed him and he was a great asset to their church. And with his ego boosted he continued as he was like nothing happened. But now camp was approaching where all he would see are these people and he couldn’t exactly ignore them.

Just then his phone pinged. The name read mom. Not that Adam ever called her that anyway.

[Mom]: Hello Adam, as camp is approaching I thought it would be a good idea for yous who are leading to set up a group chat. I have forwarded your number to the girl who is sharing a cabin with Eve and she’s going to set up a group. She looks forward to meeting you.

[Adam]: ok ma thanks for letting me know

That was all Adam sent. He didn’t want to start anything with her or further continue the conversation so he just let it be as it was. As he scrolled the through his socials he saw a couple messages pop up.

As he scrolled through the messages he picked up on the girls name. She seemed cool enough but no photos indicating what she looked like. There was her full name though. So without a second thought Adam searches your full name into instagram and only one account comes up. So he clicked and oh fuck.

She looked gorgeous. Her photos emanating how flawless she truly was. She surely didn’t look the part of a Christian camp leader though. How did she even get this gig? One of the requirements was being Christian.. He knew that for certain. Maybe he had her mistaken. Surely she was better than what she led on.. right? That’s at least what Adam hoped as he turned his phone off and threw it somewhere on his bed and did his best to fall asleep. It was in vain though, fuck were you pretty.

Adam ripped down his boxers and rubbed at his member. He massaged his fingers over his tip and groaned as he pushed his head back into his pillows.

How did you have such an effect on him? Some prostitute looking whore who looked like she’s flash her tits to anyone. Adam wanted nothing more than to knock some decency into you. No well respected girl dresses like that. Right?

As Adam groaned again moving his fingers up and down his dick before fixating on the base. It felt good in a way. The pleasure Adam felt was indescribable but it was only pleasure he got from himself. He had never actually had sex.

It’s not like it was that big of a deal. So what if he hadn’t fucked a bitch, who needs to do that anyway? Not him, that’s for sure.

He had come close though. Not with Lilith even kissing Lilith was a struggle for the both of them and quite frankly was something they did a handful of times but with Eve he delved further. It did take them a while. Adam didn’t want to give into his unholy urges so he held out, like any responsible Christian boy would do.

Eve seemed understanding though he could sense her disappointment when he pulled away before they even got the chance to make out. He could see the looks of despair and how distant she acted after he turned down her further advances. She never communicated this verbally to him but he could sense it. He knew she longed for more and in a way it made him feel like she had the right to cheat. He always reassured himself that her decision was selfish and he had no reason to feel bad for someone’s wrong actions but sometimes late at night when he’s alone with his thoughts he wonders what would have happened if he’d just given in. Maybe then he wouldn’t be alone and she’d be here with him.

He remembers when he did give in though. They were in his apartment and they were making out. An odd occasion that Adam didn’t often indulge in. Our he wanted to appease her so he went along and her carried away. They undressed and hadn’t do en thought twice of the consequences until Sera had barged in. How she’d gotten in was beyond Adam bjr he was lectured for weeks after it and was made to go to confession to confess his sinful actions. From then on him and Eve went back to stage 1 which consisted on an arm wrapped around her while they watched movies, band holding and little pecks ok the lips. He could tell she was unsatisfied with how things had to be though.

Adam felt his dick twitch and could feel he was close to climax as he kept massaging his cock. He wishes you were here with him to help him. Wait no he didn’t? He didn’t even know you. Bur still you were beautiful. At least to Adam and as he kept rubbing he felt climax reaching and he let it cumming all over his hand and sheets.

He let himself feel the pleasure for a .2 seconds before the guilt settled in. He felt it in his gut the overwhelming sense of dread. What did he just do?

He immediately got up and wakes to the bathroom running the tap and squirting 5 pumps of soap onto his hands and lathering it, rubbing his hands together and soaking them under water and repeating the ritual 2 more times. He calms himself who’re returning to the side of his bed and gets down on his knees at the side of the bed and bows his head.

Adam prays. He prays for forgiveness and to help him overcome his lust. He prays and prays until he finally doesn’t feel ridden with guilt and gets up and turns on his TV. He pots on whatever show he can find and turns down the volume. It drowns out his thoughts and puts him to sleep quicker.

And just like that the days flew past and Adam was now boarding a bus. It was loud and full of teens who seemingly had bundles of energy even though it was 7am. Adam was trying to hype himself up while sipping the coffee Lute and him bought on the way here. It was going to be a long ride full of attempts to sleep and failing because whoever the fuck on the back of the bus is playing 2000s white girl tunes and screaming them like a banshee. He wasn’t going to say anything he was happy enough. Especially that he didn’t even have to ask to be sat with Lute on the ride there. Usually you were made to sit with whoever you were sharing a cabin with but under the circumstances Adam was allowed to sit with Lute and Lucifer and Lilith sat together instead.

He was happy enough with the arrangement and stuck his headphones in. Lute was already sat by the window scrolling away on her phone. It was too early to expect her to socialise and in all honesty he didn’t want to socialise either. He needed sometime to recoup to even be able to physically live when he’d be sharing a room with Lucifer and a bunch of rowdy teenage boys for the next couple weeks.

It wouldn’t be terrible especially not when the pretty girl he masterbated too with sitting across the aisle from him. Though she was chatting up his ex girlfriend Eve and for a split second he wished he was her instead. What is he even thinking? He turns away from you and unlocks his phone scrolling through whatever he can to keep himself occupied as they set off.

You had noticed Adam. In fact you’d found yourself into him the moment you met his mother at your parents house.

You were visiting for the afternoon when you met Sera. She was a tall, elegant woman who held herself well, with dark skin and vitiligo on her cheeks and white almost luminescent eyes and lashes that made them stand out even more. She was slender and had the most beautiful grey ringlet curls you had ever seen. This is was Sera? You kind of assumed Sera was some blonde bitch who had several different baby daddies and lived off church’s money but this lady carries herself with dignity and was self assured.

She was delighted to meet you, said she’d heard so much about you. You were sure she hadn’t though. Your parents had a habit of lying when it came to you. You felt guilty that you weren’t the daughter they envisioned but they weren’t the parents they envisioned themselves to be either. So you sat there indulging in your parents lies. It was somewhat comical of how much they came up with. But what can you say it was funny. Key word was. When she started talking about how her sons Christian camp needed more leaders you felt your stomach drop.

You had half the mind to tell her your parents had been lying for years and you were in fact nor the perfect, church going daughter she had envisioned and having your parents be blackballed from the church community. But you played it off and said you would think about it and expressed pity. She looked delighted and told you her son has just broken up with his girlfriend a couple months ago. How he was perfect marriage material and how you two would make a lovely couple.

Your head was spinning. Okay first this ladies trying to convince you to go to some random camp and help out there and now she’s talking about marrying you into her family? She’s crazy especially when she brought up about her son being a virgin.

‘His names Adam and I think you too would get along great.’ She chimed and she sipped on some of the tea your mother had brewed a couple of minutes prior who stood by the counter sipping a cup of coffee looking on edge. Probably in case you slipped up on some heinous lie she told.

‘I’m sure he’s great.’ You smiled at her sipping away at your own coffee and internally trying to keep yourself sane.

‘Here look.’ She said momentarily pausing while flipping through her phone and pulling up a photo of her what you thought was going to be her dorky, repressed loser ass son who would probably live in his mothers basement till she died and he finally could have access to the whole house. But looking at the photo..

He was sexy and what can you say? You were easily bought. It helped you in other ways too!! Like you get extra credit from your university for working with kids. Totally justifiable. At least that’s what you told yourself. Damn you didn’t think you’d have a thing for conservative, Christian virgins but here you are on a bus to a Christian camp with one goal in mind. Fucking Sera’s son.

You sat down across the aisle from him and introduced yourself to Eve. You had spoken to her once or twice over text message and a couple times more in your camp counsellor group chat. But seeing her in person was a different experience.

She was etheral and you couldn’t help but feel inferior to a girl with such good looks and personality. She had dark skin and her hair was pulled into box braids. Her eyes were a deep chocolate coloured brown and looked soft. She had large breast and wide hips and stomach rolls.

She was beautiful and her smile radiated happiness as she introduced herself. She seemed happy and in her environment. She seemed the type of person who could be placed anywhere and just fit.

She told you all about her youth group and how she ran it with her now ex boyfriend. Adam.

Looking at her surely that couldn’t have been right? She was Adams ex girlfriend? She was gorgeous. The definition on beauty nobody could compare to what she looked like. It made sense though someone as gorgeous as her needed somebody to match her. And Adam and her fit like puzzle pieces intertwined they complimented each other insanely well. And he never had sex with her? If she even mentioned the word sex she would have been pinned to the bed immediately. You couldn’t understand why Adam would reject her sexual advances. Surely she’d made some, so why did he say no to her? She was the kind of woman who could make Victoria secret models feel inadequate. You wondered if that was why they had broken up. You tried not to make assumptions as you chatted to her. Maybe cracking Adam would be harder than you first assumed.

It was a long drive and felt even longer now that you had arrived. Your cabin was far and your case with heavy and your eyes practically drooped with exhaustion and your head hung low but you pulled through. You greeted the girls in your cabin warmly and expressed your excitement. You weren’t actually too happy to be here but you weren’t going to let anyone here know that.

‘Alright guys, lets get going! When we get to the cabin you’ll have fifteen minutes to get sorted and then you’ll have free time for the next two hours before dinner.’ She chimed cheerfully. That was getting old. How is she so cheerful after travelling six hours with one stop? Still you smiled as you pulled along your heavy ass suitcase.

‘Need help with that?’ Someone from behind you asked.

He sounded even hotter. Was this grounds for having children? Nope not even close. But it was him. Adam. And fuck was he sexy. Even sexier than the photos you’d seen of him.

‘Yeah.’ You stated smiling turning to face him. ‘You think you could help me with it?’ You questioned a tilt in your voice. You don’t exactly know what it is but men love to play the strong, dominant, I’m so great card a lot. Especially because they presume your helpless. You don’t necessarily like playing the ‘I’m so helpless’ princess card but if it’d stroke his ego enough..

‘Of course babe,’ he smirked smugly winking at you. ‘names Adam.’ He said picking up your case with ease and walking ahead up to your cabin.

Adam was a big guy, you knew that from the photo you say of him but seeing him in person was a different experience. Especially when he’s just picked up the case you could barely bring to your car and trug to the bus driver with ease did something to you. Maybe your just ovulating.

You followed him along with your easy carry on bag, smiling at him as he made it up the hill. ‘Thank you so much.’ You smiled at him looking up at him and slightly batting your eyes. Is that sexy? You hope it is.

He seems to think so as a grin plasters his face and he looks you up and down. ‘No problem gorgeous.’ He states looking back down the hill he sees a group of boys walking the same direction.

‘Look at that our cabin’s our right next to each other.’ He states smirking and winking at you.

‘What luck.’ You whisper loud enough for him to hear. ‘It’s been so nice to meet you Adam but I gotta go unpack.’ You state backing away smiling at him.

His face drops for a second then contorts and he looks angry and he looks like he’s going to say something but he doesn’t and just like that he’s back to smiling. ‘Yeah me too, but after orientation with our cabins the counsellors are going swimming down in the lough. You should come.’ He winks.

‘Yeah I will, see you then.’ You wink back retreating up the steps to your cabin and pulling your case into your assigned room.

The rooms are nice, cosy actually. The bed’s are made of wood with red bedsheets and white pillows and it reminds you of one of those winter cabins you’d find in the Christmas movies. They’re tiny to preserve space but you’d rather that than a bunk bed. You both have a wardrobe each and a mirror. The room isn’t terrible but you’d have to make do with the space at least for now. So unzipping your case you start to unpack your clothes and shoes into the wardrobe.

‘Hey, you nearly ready?’ Eve chimed while popping head round the corner of the door.

‘Yeah, practically all done.’ You replied.

‘Great, I forgot to tell you we’re all going swimming later, well the counsellors. You want to join? I totally want to get to know you better and everyone else would love to meet you.’ Eve said. She was so soft spoken and genuine it made you want to hug her.

‘Oh yeah, Adam mentioned that to me I’d love to.’ Her face contorted for a second into confusion but it’s almost like she realised what face she was making and went back to making her perky, happy face.

‘I’m SO excited, I can already tell we’re gonna have the BEST time together.’ She said walking towards you and taking your hand. Her hands were warm but not in a sweaty way but in a comforting way, it felt like taking a mother’s hand warm and soft.

‘Me too.’ You replied smiling at her as she kept your hand in hers dragging you to the living room for orientation.

Walking to the lough wasn’t long but Eve made it longer by pointing everything out and practically speaking to everyone she had any relation too or people she did not know. She’d been here every year since she was thirteen and now she was in her twenties. Doesn’t she get bored, apparently not.

Walking down the steps you took off your cover on and flip flops and placed your towel and phone on top of them. Scanning the lough your eyes fell on Adam who was sitting on a paddle board looking bored but as he looked up and locked eyes with you he smiled waving you over to him. So You pushed yourself down the ladder and into the water.

It was hell, the water was cold and any joy you had before this had been sucked out of you. Your face said it all as a little farther in the distance you could her Adam laughing at you. You glared at him as you made your way over.

‘You good down there?’ He asked still laughing slightly.

‘No.’ You quivered, teeth chattering. ‘Help me up I’m freezing.’ You practically yelped but Adam looked down at you with a shit-eating grin.

‘Uh-no, I’m good.’ He smirked chuckling to himself.

‘Fu- frick.’ You cursed changing your word mid sentences. Christians don’t curse. ‘I’ll do it myself.’ You stated repeating the ‘I can do it’ mantra in your head. You pulled yourself up slightly your hands clasped on the edge as you pulled yourself further but Adam just had to be an asshole. Of course he did as he pushed his foot towards you and pushed it against your chest causing you to plummet backwards under the water.

As you resurfaced choking on the water you’d just inhaled Adam cackled at you and your predicament. You clasped at the side of the paddle board and you rubbed under your eyes blinking the water out of them to help you see.

‘Here babe.’ Adam calls helping you up and sitting you beside him. You open your eyes fully looking at him.

‘You got a little makeup.’ He states rubbing the black mascara marks on your cheeks away with his thumb. You lean into his touch as he cups your cheek and squishes it slightly. You push away and smile as him bring your knees close to your face. He scrunches his nose and pushes you back off the paddle board and jumps in. You screech as he swims away and you try to catch him. You play around with him till the other counsellors announce they are going back to shower. You stay back with Adam. It’s not like you could use the shower if Eve was in it.

Adam sighs as he lays back on the paddle board you previously sat on. You lay beside him tired out yourself. ‘I fucking hat it here.’ He groans placing his hands over his face. Your surprised ro hear him curse but you turn to him before turning your head back to the sky.

‘Any particular reason?’ You question trying not to pry but what can you your a major gossip. And a slut but that’s besides the point.

‘That fucker Lucifer and his soon to be wife Lilith the fucking snakes.’ He hisses. ‘Stole my fucking girl and now I have to see her everyday and get reminded that she fucked them.’ He went silent.

‘That sucks.’ You sigh. You don’t really have anything else to say apart from that. You weren’t really sure if anything you said with help.

‘Yeah it really does, but fuck her she’s missing out.’ He puffs his chest with somewhat pride. Okay he bounces back quick.

‘From what exactly? A virgin?’ You sneer, not with malice but more jokingly.

‘Who said I was a virgin?’ He yells, sitting up and dramatically looking at you. You have half the mind to tell you his mother told you but you don’t.

‘I can tell.’ You state back to him as he glares at you before looking away embarrassed.

‘And your not?’ He queries.

‘A virgin? Hell no, lost that a LONG time ago.’ You laugh at his shocked expression before an idea pops into your head.

‘Hey Adam?’

‘What?’ He questions.

“Wanna see something?” You question lips curling into a tight smirk. Adam nods hesitantly unsure of what kind of surprise you’d pull in the middle of the lake.

You slowly and carefully lifted down the top piece of your bikini exposing your breast and hardened nipple.

The shock on Adam’s face was all you needed to see as you swiftly lifted your bikini back up to cover yourself again and giggled.

You placed your hands on his shoulders to keep yourself afloat and giggled “Do you like that?” You mused. He sputtered on water as he tries to recollect himself. Was Sera sure this girl was Christian?

You giggled at him as you swum back, he followed in toe grabbing his stuff.

‘You know if you wanna learn I’ll teach you.’ He looked away obviously flustered before flipping you off and cussing you out. You started to walk off but before you did you turned around and spoke.

‘Oh yeah and Adam? You might wanna fix that before the meeting, not very professional you know?” You smirk suggestively, attempting to make eye contact with the more than flustered man to no avail. Turning on your heels you walked off back to your cabin to unpack the rest of your shit you hadn’t got to before orientation and shower before your dreaded meeting. You heard him yelling in the distance. Something about how you could only dream of sucking his dick? Maybe coming here wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

The meeting went by fine but you could see Adam stare at you every so often and his boner was gone. At least he knew how to do something you thought. As you sat by the campfire roasting marshmallows with your cabin and conversing. You could feel Adam’s gaze on you but you ignored it choosing to leave him to make the first move, which may take a while. So as you packed up for the night as walked back to the cabin hearing Adam call you wasn’t what you expected. His cabin was all packed in for the night as he walked towards you.

‘You forgot something earlier, come on it’s on our balcony.’ He mumbled dragging you along inside. The cabin layout was basically the same as yours and you could hear boys chattering and moving around and room light’s under closed doors. You walked towards the balcony with Adam. Walking outside he closed the door behind him and walked you over to where you couldn’t be seen behind the curtain.

‘What’d I l forget?’ You questioned. You didn’t remembering leaving anything but to be fair you we’re forgetful and didn’t realise until the last possible moment that you forgot something so.

‘This.’ He said approaching you and pulling you into him. He met your lips and kissed you. He placed his hands on your hips and picked you up placing you on the nearby table. You clung your arms around his neck pulling at his hair and deepening the kiss. He groaned as your tongues clashed together. He leaned you back breaking away from the kiss and sucking at your neck. Fuck you we’re gonna have to cover that but you didn’t have the willpower to make him stop as he moved down to between your legs. He looked up at you like a lost puppy. He didn’t know how to proceed.

You sat back up and undid your pants pulling them off. Adam copied and watched as you pulled down your underwear and showed him your pussy. He looked in awe.

‘Wanna eat me out?’ You asked. He nodded moving his hands to your thighs as you leaned back down.

Adam was hesitant at first but quickly got the hang of it as he licked up your clit. A moan escaped your mouth your legs threatening to close around his head. Adam suddenly gained momentum as he sloppily started making out with your pussy, sucking away at you as if he was drunk.

You bit down on your hand to prevent your moans from becoming louder and risking getting caught as Adam kept his pace as he tongue fucked your cunt and you could feel the pleasure start to pool in your stomach and you could feel yourself getting close.

Adam mumbled against your pussy ‘You taste so good.’ He whispered before continuing to kiss as your hole.

Adam’s nose moved against your cunt and you felt yourself beginning to release and you came undone around him moaning his name. Adam wasted no time in licking up your cum.

As he moved away from your still wet pussy you could see his erection outlining his boxers. He moved to your lips sloppily against his. You could taste yourself on him but you didn’t seem to care as he pulled away and pulled off his boxers.

Looking down his dick was girthy and totally big. Fuck were you in for it if he could figure out how to use it. But he’d never used his tongue and was still one of the only guys to make you cum so he has to be doing something right.

‘I’m not using a fucking condom so let’s hope I knock some fucking decency into you slut.’ He groans as he slides his dick into your cunt.

It feels electric as you ride on the ecstasy as Adam pumps inside of you. He knows what he’s doing as he whispers curses and nasty words at you.

‘You like that whore? Tell me how much you like it?’ He grunts pulsing inside you still as you babble incoherent sentences totally high on his dick.

‘Use your words baby.’ He whispers into your ear. ‘Does daddy make you feel good?’ He questioned. The use of the term daddy in any other scenario would make you cringe but the way Adam said it made it sound sexy.

‘Yes.’ You hissed as he continued thrusting into you and hitting your G spot just right and just like that you came undone under Adam for the second time that night. He might be a virgin but he KNOWS how to fuck. That’s for sure.

Adam came soon after right inside you. Kind of made you wish you weren’t on the pill so you could have his baby.

Adam practically came in buckets to put it bluntly. His head was lying on your shoulder as he pulled out of you and you could feel the cum running down your legs. Hopefully nobody seems. But you couldn’t say you didn’t exactly wish that. You hoped someone would see in a way. Getting caught is thrilling and especially at a Christian camp.

Recollecting yourself you pulled up your undies and felt Adam’s cum mixed with your own squelch against them as it rubbed up against your already sensitive clit. You choked back a moan as you pulled your jeans back up buttoning them.

You sat at the edge of the table waiting for Adam to speak as he dressed himself. He walked towards you situating himself between you legs and lifting your chin up to softly kiss you. You were entranced in the kiss when you heard someone calling your name.

‘Fuck I gotta go.’ You whispered hearing Eve call your name. You pecked at Adam’s lips as you slid off the table and opened the door. ‘Goodnight Adam.’ You mumbled, winking at him and closing it behind you and running out the door to meet Eve and drag her back inside with you.

Adam leaned back against the table. Fuck was that was amazing. Just as he was about to get up to go back inside someone came out to meet him. It was one of his campers. The ones he was responsible.

‘Hey um Adam?’ Isaac called. He hummed as he moved next to him. ‘I have something to ask you but it’s kind of awkward.’ He trailed off looking to the ground.

Adam smiled at him. ‘Ask away, I’m here to teach you and guide you.’ The way he spoke differentiated between the kids and the way he spoke to you. It was kind of comedic how fast he could switch up from being a manwhore to a holy man. Vast difference between the two but Adam could be both.

‘You see I keep falling into lust..’ He mumbled. ‘And I’m really trying not too but I find it really hard. And I guess I was wondering how to deal with it? How you’d deal with it?.’ He questioned. He sounded exasperated of all options at this point and Adam was proud to guide him in the right direction. To tell him what he would do.

Suddenly Adam’s stomach dropped. Wait what did he do? Lust is a sin. But not only lust, sex. Sex before marriage is a sin. He just committed one of the most terrible sins and felt no remorse until a fucking child asked him? Is he being serious?

What had Adam done? He’d went against his beliefs and what he stood for. His morals something he swore to never do till marriage with a girl he JUST met. What had he done? How could he make up for this? No, no no. This can’t be happening it’s not real. Adam stumbled over his words and talked about prayer and reading the Bible and how it really helps and sent Isaac back to bed and he thanked him profusely as Adam smiled but inside he felt suffocated. How could he guide children and help them when he was going against everything he and they believed in? Adam knelt down on the floor and prayed. I mean what else could he do?

[automeris-io-moth]

Hello there! Random tumblr user who came across your blog here you have marvelous and excellent writing!!! Could you write something about the villian reading the hero's diary?

Request #1

Weapons don't weep.

“That will never be what awaits people like us,” said Villain, trying so very hard to spit it out like venom, failing as their voice broke at the last word, leaving bitterness they always aimed to ignore, and they swallowed and continued “you and me both know already how everything ends, this…”

Hero’s notebook, well-loved and missing pages, hit the ground, pages wetted by the last drops of a calming storm, words they always wrote in pencil blurring with the water, vanishing from the paper. And, for a moment, they were tempted to plunge in and grab it, to save what they had written when time allowed, but they stood still from before the other, quiet and motionless, blinking back tears.

“Is a delusion you’d do well to start forgetting.” their eyes met in the middle, and Villain, just as Hero, pretended crying was not what they wanted, pretended that saving the words of what could have been was not what they wished, and Villain rasped, cleared their throat and straightened their posture “I went into your office for papers, for maps, whatever would save me some time figuring out what you team pretended to do this time, instead, I found you feeding your quite hyperactive imagination, you must understand how disappointed I am.”

It was obvious, of course, that Hero was not, nor should apologise for not having provided satisfactory evidence of their plans to their enemy, yet, the tone of reproach and discontent from the other had them almost saying sorry.

Hero was embarrassed, mortified, face burning under their surgical mask, heart beating fast as a child found misbehaving by their mother, and they wanted to run, to run inside the facility and never go back outside.

Yet, they stood.

“Are you not gonna say anything here?” Villain added after a moment of silence, louder, and Hero wished they didn’t have to.

“I was just daydreaming, I thought maybe, if this is sorted maybe we could…”

“Oh no, I know what we could, I could cook, perhaps, and you could bake and do the dishes, wasn’t that right?” the Villain mocked “You could come to understand how every human is prone, at the end, to kindness but never to perfection, and you could see that in every scar that you bare and every kiss you've ever felt. What kind of childish nonsense were you rambling about? You are a weapon Hero, as much as I am one, weapons don’t cook, we don’t garden, we don’t clean, we kill, we get the job done.”

Hero stayed silent this time.

Villain kicked the notebook towards them.

“I hope, for your own sake, that you can understand that.”

***

Villain let themselves fall on their sofa.

Hero had gotten too close, they had gotten too hopeful, sloppy on the battlefield, lenient with their enemies. Perhaps with that, Villain thought, they would place their distance, leverage against them was the last thing they wished to give Supervillain and Superhero both, lack of morality was something that very well united them, they were not to allow Hero to end in between.

The war would end, Villain promised themselves, and only once it was over they would apologise.

And alone, at last, they allowed themselves to cry.

_

Masterlist

I did want to make it like cheesy, flustered-hero, but what can I say, I love drama.

I hope you like it :), I'm sorry it took so long :(.

Btw I really need to decide on a format, how does it look better?

[tathrin]

🎲+🐚

Writer Truth Or Dare asks.

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time? 

tumblr XD

That's a joke, but also not. Distractions is the biggest issue, for me. Which includes tumblr, video games, discord, chores, etc. Everything that can involve sitting down to write, and then not doing that. (Including re-reading fic, both other people's and my own shit.)

Also, tiredness. Fuck capitalism, and fuck this trashfire of a country. We should all have more free time, and thus more energy both physical and mental. But everything is so exhausting sometimes, that it's easier to just start scrolling through tumblr or meandering through Tamriel or Taris or Henford-on-Bagley than it is to do anything, even the things you really want to do.

Blah.

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?

I like them, in the sense of I'm someone who prefers not to be "spoiled" on a story ahead of time, so that I can have the experience of discovering its contents and emotions for myself; and I like them, in the sense of I don't tend to scour around for clues and hints, because I enjoy discovering the story as it happens to me more than I do the potential "smugness" of knowing it all ahead of time, and so I deliberately don't look for stuff that might give-away things ahead of time. I'd rather be surprised...but on the other hand:

I loathe them, in the sense of the "hide all spoilers at all costs! shock value, shock value! never let the audience guess what's coming! if the audience can guess something ahead of time, the story is ruined! if the audience guesses something ahead of time, you change it!" nonsense that has pervaded so much of the media landscape of late.

I'm pretty good at picking-up on little clues and I'm familiar enough with stories as a "thing" that I tend to be able to tell where a story is going faster than most people I know (especially movies, which are by nature more limited in scope than a novel) due to both experience with narrative as a concept and a good memory for details, so I'm quite used to not being shocked by the bulk of the things I read/watch; but I've never found this a bad thing, like so many of the big corporate media entities these days seem to have made it into.

That's just called noticing what's happening, and extrapolating. I mostly tend to figure out something shortly before it happens, which adds a delightful flavor of "omg will it...?" anticipation to the story, without detracting from the experience of having the story unfold, even when it unfolds as I thus expect it to. That doesn't mean the story is bad; it means that narrative often follows a cause-effect format, and stories echo, and foreshadowing is a thing, and you should have a plot that makes fucking sense, etc etc. And because a good story should be entertaining even after you know the twist, it's not a big deal either way!

How many times have I watched The Empire Strikes Back? Far more than I can keep count of! And it remains my favorite Star Wars movie to this day...even though I've known the "twist reveal" since I was six. (I do wish I could remember my reaction from the first time I watched it, though! Just for fun!) But the emotional weight of the reveal to Luke remains just as potent now, even when the audience's shock is gone. Because the story doesn't hinge upon the twist.

I think everybody should have the opportunity to experience things like that for themselves unspoiled, so they can have the emotional impact hit the to its full extent (hence I will never ever tell anyone what The Thing in Mastiff is ahead of time, no matter how many times my roommate begs me to; because as we suffered, so shall ye!) but I don't think that knowing those things ahead of time ruins a story, either.

If a "spoiler" can ruin your story, your story isn't actually much of a story; it's just a gimmick. And I'm interested above all in stories. Whether they surprise me or not.

(Sorry, that one turned into more of a Rant About Modern Media than an actual answer, whoops!)

But to try and get a little more back on track for a summarizing conclusion here: I like being able to shock my audience, but I like even more than that having them catch-on to what's probably going to happen beforehand so that they can start to go oh no oh fuck is it...? before it does. That's my favorite kind of surprise to experience in fiction, and my favorite kind of one to write too: the anticipated one. Not known; but guessed.

And that works for both excited anticipation, and dreaded!

[teasandcardigans]

the fail of imperium sweetheart

you asked for it, and its here! i got a little carried away with this, but i hope you all enjoy! a full analysis on the imperium’s most dismissed character, sweetheart

please keep in mind this is my own opinion, and i am not expressing hate towards erik. i think the amount of work he does to produce quality content is something that deserves respect and acknowledgement. with that said, i do also feel like i can share my own thoughts on the subject:

edit: tumblr formatted this poorly so if you would like to read it via notion, click here.

Imperium 2021 Runtime (Not including: Welcome to the Imperium, Your Place Among Magic, Welcome Back): 2 hours, 57 minutes, 48 seconds

Cataclysm 2022 Runtime: 5 hours, 21 minutes, 45 seconds

Combined Working Runtime: 8 hours 19 minutes, 33 seconds

(This is the amount of content I scanned to compile my list of quotes and opinions on this piece. I chose these videos specifically because they are the videos that realistically could have featured Sweetheart at any time.)

first mention: Audio RP | Caught By a Cruel Werewolf Pack

[01:14] “You really think that there wasn’t any kind of security at an academy office? Those enforcer goons aren't the only ones keeping shit in line around here. You weren't the only one in that room, you know. My mate’s a stealth. They watched you every step of the way, trailed you, and once you actually pulled those files, they sounded the alarm for all the rest of us. They hung back to see if you were just some kind of distraction for somebody else to do the real dirty work, but apparently, it really was just you.” 

some things to unpack here:

milo’s line implies the level of trust the pack has with sweetheart— they have been with the pack long enough to be trusted to run security in an academy office all alone and be the alarm for the rest of the pack. i think their character speaks for themselves when milo reveals that they hung back to see if there was more than what met the eye- showing that they care about the work they are doing with the pack, too.

another takeaway i have from this is that sweetheart doesn’t work for the department in the imperium. the “why” for that is not really given, but if imperium sweetheart is enough like the redactedverse’s canon version of them, then i think that could easily be implied that sweetheart would be too much of a workaholic to be able to balance working with the pack and the department. i wish that we could know more about sweetheart’s backstory in the imperium. this cannot even fall under the argument of trying to allow for a neutral listener with an open backstory for audiences to collectively connect to, as backstories are given to listener characters such as freelancer, angel, and baby.

[03:50] “That is not how that fucking went down, you clout-chasing peon. My mate was cloaked, guarding the building, and saw this human trying to steal some records and shit and tagged them.”

my takeaway from this quote is that it again illustrates the level of trust the pack has in sweetheart. they are- at least i inferred this- alone, guarding an important building with classified academy documents. asher, with his present no- nonsense attitude, would not put something like that up to chance. to appoint sweetheart to guard that building is a demonstration of wholehearted trust.

note: i’d like to take a moment to draw attention to the fact that the first actual appearance of sweetheart we get is literally the third to last video before the cataclysm finale, despite the fact they played a key role in the original imperium series- that role being sounding the alarm on imperium-babe and connecting them to asher, which inadvertently ties the shaw pack to avior and the haven’s plans to overpower the department. let’s just appreciate that for a second. erik- whether he meant to or not- made sweetheart a key player in this series, and yet, we don’t actually get to see them interacting with anyone until the very, very end. this section is analyzed a bit out of order so that i can avoid redundancy in expressing my opinions. please refer to time stamps!

first interaction: Cataclysm | Tantum Tyrannus [Audio RP]

[00:00 to 06:14] Sweetheart finds Asher unconscious, and Milo gone. Together, they figure out what Milo’s plan is and derive one of their own to save him. 6 minutes, 14 seconds.

all of these together exemplify the level of protectiveness and love that milo and sweetheart have for each other. it’s no secret that the two care very deeply for one another, canon timeline or not, but i think these quotes all show how sweetheart and milo will do anything to keep the other safe. the first quote at 01:15, to me, feels like a defensive retort after sweetheart possibly accuses asher of sending milo to face alexis alone- their protective instincts raise up in an effort to defend milo against anyone who tries to put him in harm’s way. it’s dismissed by asher of course, who explains that he was planning to go, but overall, each of these quotes make me crave a better insight into their relationship.

[01:15] “I wouldn’t let him do that.”

[01:38] “No, you are not coming.”

[04:12] “He wouldn’t want you to be in harm’s way. You know that.”

[02:52] “You know him. Better than any of us.”

this to me speaks to how deeply sweetheart and milo are involved. canon timeline or imperium, i think it’s safe to say that a mate’s bond is the deepest connection one can have with another person (maybe rivaled by a progeny-maker bond), so it’s so strange to me that couples such as vega and pet, vindemiator and freelancer, and avior and starlight get more “screentime” than sweetheart and milo. i know some of those pairs mentioned above are fan favorites, and erik was likely trying to give content that fans would enjoy, but i feel that his oversight on milo and sweetheart’s relationship- one that has existed longer than any other imperium relationship, mind you*- left a lot of blank spots into the true nature of their friendship and relationship that i would have love to have seen. in fact, i believe we know how every imperium relationship came to be except for milo and sweetheart.**

*milo and sweetheart were mates before Audio RP | Caught By a Cruel Werewolf Pack, as seen in milo’s comment about them stalking babe in the office. the aforementioned couples all supposedly got together in the months spanning between october 2021 and october 2022.

[04:46] “I would have given anything to have been at David’s side during that fight. All right. Come on.”

**vindemiator and freelancer: escaping the slicers and arriving at the academy together

vega and pet: pet is a feeding volunteer at the haven

starlight and avior: work companions growing into more

damien and angel: childhood friends turned lovers

asher and david: packmates turned lovers

you will see soon, i have a lot to say about david and asher. but i think that since their relationship is in the spotlight of cataclysm so much, this comment stands out to me. it gives sweetheart and milo’s relationship the same weight as david and asher’s- a weight that erik has been trying to demonstrate throughout this entire second trip to the imperium. it’s implied to me with this line that sweetheart draws a direct comparison from david to milo and asher acknowledges it, which begs the question: why is a non- existent relationship (rip david we love you) receiving more attention and screen time than one that exists and appears to have equal value?

[06:04] “We have to make the first hit count. Or we won’t get a second one.” 

i have to laugh at this one. it’s somewhat silly to me considering the fact that this line makes the fight scene feels so much bigger than what it actually turns out to be. that’s all.

second appearance: Cataclysm | Tantum Tyrannus [Audio RP]

[10:02 - 15:37] Asher and Sweetheart arrive at Alexis’s estate to save Milo. 5 minutes, 39 seconds.

i elected not to pull any quotes from this section purely for the fact that sweetheart’s interactions are truly limited. this scene mostly focuses on a facedown between asher and alexis, where sweetheart- and even milo, really (despite him being the reason they are there)- feel very much like background characters. this is about asher, getting revenge, for david. and yes, maybe a little bit to help save the world, but mostly, cataclysm is an asher-focused storyline. the most we get from sweetheart in this scene is asher talking to them in the beginning, and at the end. oh, yeah, they also helped stun and debilitate alexis so that asher could take her down. no biggie, right?

another spot for consideration: Cataclysm | Last Wish [Audio RP] 

Asher and Milo discuss the confrontation with Alexis as Milo heals.

personally, i find this choice to make sweetheart conveniently in another room making food as another way to eventually lead the conversation back to david and asher’s guilt. it is obvious that asher is trying to be the cold, hard, gruff alpha that he thinks he needs to be in order to prove his worth to the shaw pack as their leader. i don’t think in this side of the mirror asher would be too keen on being vulnerable and emotional around sweetheart about david, so erik removed sweetheart from the scene so we can, once again, focus on asher and david. (insert dramatic sigh here).

[01:48] “I figured your mate would be here.”

“They’re making some food, they should be back soon. I had to kick them out to keep them from fussing off of me and from reading me the absolute riot act doing this without telling them.”

[02:39] “They did good. I don't think I could have done that without them.”

i find this comment to be extremely ironic, as seen with my thoughts on the fight scene itself. asher commends sweetheart here and says how vital they were to the plan, but in reality, they felt like a minor character. they had one scene where they could have shown their strength and flex their skills- as we know they can (i.e. canon-timeline shade fight, canon-timeline apartment “break-ins,” and imperium-verse security detail in their first mention) and yet, their involvement in that scene feels small and overlooked.

third appearance: Cataclysm | Last Wish [Audio RP]

[15:41 - 16:14] Literally, Sweetheart comes, Asher goes. 33 seconds.

there’s not even anything to really analyze here. as soon as the focus pulls away from asher talking about himself and/or david, the scene ends. this is sweetheart and milo’s last appearance.

my overall thoughts:

of the 8 hours, 19 minutes, and 33 seconds that the imperium and cataclysm stories ran, sweetheart appeared in 12 minutes and 26 seconds of them (for those of you who like math, it’s 2.5% out of the full running time). for the importance of sweetheart’s role, that being the whistleblower on babe (and the ripple effect it had) and one of the key players in taking down alexis, i find their lack of appearance and mention disappointing. we all know how strong sweetheart is in both sides of the mirror, and i feel that they had much more potential as a character. from their relationship with milo, to their unexplained involvement with the Shaw Pack, there are a lot of gaps within their story that deserve recognition. even minor characters, such a baby and alexis, have more backstory and character development than sweetheart. i could go down a rabbit trail of how this could also be seen in inversion, but that is for a later date. in this analysis, i want to draw attention to the fact that so much time was dedicated to a relationship that we never even see, and another that sprung up over the break between “seasons.” asher and vega’s storylines are interesting and a far cry from their canon versions, but their importance feels dominating, and in the case of asher and david’s, exhausting. i’m not saying that even sweetheart and milo’s relationship deserved the spotlight, but i believe it would have been a more fulfilling, complex story if we had been able to see the moments with the two of them the way we get to see vega’s and vindemiator’s (the same goes for giving more explanation and attention to damien and angel’s, too). i’ll cut the novel short and end things with the hope that you, my lovely reader, can see how sweetheart’s potential as a character was diminished and pushed to the background when it could have been a unique and interesting piece to the imperium’s overall story.

[styrmwb]

Favorite Final Fantasy Music (FFIV)

part 4 moon part

FFIV is finally going to be easy for me cause there's consistent uploads and I think the SNES sounds good so woooooo this soundtrack goes dummy (every game goes dummy)

5. Mystic Mysidia This song is so goofy. This is definitely one I recommend listening to the PR version of cause that one is extremely weird (in a good way). I love the little bouncing backing, and the xylophone melody, it sounds perfect for a silly little mage town where you get some silly little mage twins that DEFINITELY won't have a tragic moment nope

4. Golbez, Clad in Darkness Man I love Golbez, he's like my favorite FFIV character. This is such a perfect "EVIL VILLAIN" theme with the organ, I love how the melody is later used for Tower of Zot, but this version has the organ solo too which is super cool.

3. Battle 2 This is my favorite Super Mario RPG song. But actually though I think the biggest reason I like this song is cause of Theatrhythm, cause they make you play the off beats, and in my head I always think of those and so it feels like, bouncy. This is also a song I think the SNES sounds really good with (I am a sucker for some compressed trumpet (yes I like pokemon ruby and sapphire too)) Also the bass??? boo doo boo doo boo doo boo doo (the ramblings of a madman) the last thing I will make a nonsensical rambling about is the ending of the song how it goes higher and higher and then smoothly loops GOD it's so good

2. The Final Battle This is a song that I think the SNES version got the best; the intro is outstanding. It starts out with that build, then the heavy drum hits. Then you get like, the start of the melody, and like, only in this version do they get the echoey sounds going, other ones sound like it just kinda hits multiple times but this version has an echo and I love that!! After the beginning it goes into this other part that sounds kinda menacing but also there's like a heroic sounding horn fighting against the evil, fitting perfectly for a final boss battle, and the end of the song does this too. I love it man

1. Battle with the Four Fiends This is absolutely my favorite song in this game, it's like, if you made a tier list, the rest of this list would be A tier and this would be S+, that is the gap to me. The buildup, the melody, the part where it goes DUN DUN DUN DUN doo doo doo doo doo doo LIKE THE WHOLE BOUNCY HORN THING (I WISH I KNEW MUSIC WORDS BETTER BUT I HOPE YOU GET WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY) THIS SONG IS SO FUN and I could listen to it on repeat always. Not once have I heard a version of this song that I have disliked at all. Plus there's the funny Hyadain version and I always think of "gentleman, gentleman" but that's not really a reason for liking the song that's just bonus also can someone tell me why I'm terrible with tumblr formatting

[notsilenced]

What a weird first post. Excuse my formatting; I think I was in high school the last time I used tumblr.

Protecting myself, opening up, being a stubborn bowling pin, and not showering as often as I’d like to.

Let’s just throw that out there as a sort of “headline,” if you will—some words that make people ask, “ew, what the heck?”

I know, it sounds absolutely disgusting, but there’s a reason: every time I get into the shower I want to cry.

Seeing my legs shrink, the hair on my legs and armpits not grow back, and finding clumps of hair in my hands as I try to wash it—it’s hard. I won’t lose all my hair, but I barely had any already. This is me now. This is FH and what I will deal with for the rest of my life.

This is the part where I shrug and say, “well, c’est comme ça.”

It’s extremely possible I told people I’d only be on this immunotherapy for a few months. Well, I lied; I don’t like to make people think this is who I am, because it’s not. I don’t need fake pity. I am not my disease. I am not a product of my disease. I am doing my best to be thankful that this situation isn’t even worse and that I managed over 25 years without a significant heart attack or stroke. The gratitude I have for my life now and the physicians that made sure it won’t be cut short by this disease is immeasurable. But as luck would have it, I’ll need monoclonal antibody immunotherapy the rest of my life.

With that being said, I wish I got credit for even half the strength I’ve mustered up, but life doesn’t hand out participation trophies. As I see my body change, I worry I won’t be able to continue to do the things I love, like downhill skiing, one of the only things that has been a constant my whole life. Sometimes I joke that one would have to amputate my legs to get me to stop skiing, but it’s always me that wishes the pain wasn’t there. It’s me crying in agony. It’s me that just wants to be carried to bed because I just can’t walk anymore.

Looking back at my life, I have overcome so much—unthinkable and unspeakable things. When the glass is half empty, those memories make me feel like the glass is actually completely broken. When the glass is half full, I remember this is not my most difficult struggle and probably never will be. Inevitably, there’s more to come. The past and all of its catastrophes have made me who I am: a strong, sassy young woman that accepts zero nonsense and is on a mission to get my life back to where it should be (but even better).

…Not everyone sees it that way.

I’ve been told that everything I’ve been through is “God’s will”. If that’s what you believe, whatever god you worship sucks.

I’ve been silenced and told I shouldn’t talk about my life. That’s a bit difficult when it’s your life. I’m sorry that I’m not sorry for saying this: I’m not censoring my life so that others can think I’m someone that I am not.

All of this being said,

I think it’s time for me to put my foot down. I am the narrator of my own story, and if you don’t like it, I’m not holding a gun to your head and forcing you to care. (I could see myself acting that way about the war in Ukraine, minus the gun, but that’s because so many of my people are being tortured and killed, yet all that people seem to care about is their own little world and getting what they want.)

I care about myself, and that’s enough for me. As much as I want to be understood, I have to seek understanding of my own body and mind first.

But let me promise one thing: even if I end up with a withered body, or if I lose a lot of hair, or if the world turns its back on a woman that has had the audacity to stand up for herself and what she believes is right, I’m not giving up.

That’s the beauty of being a bowling pin that’s constantly knocked down—you’re always pulled back up and set straight. I make a pretty decent bowling pin.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Polyphonic - ao3 or tumblr pt 1

“Meet me on the Qiongqi Path if you want to talk,” the return letter from Wei Wuxian said, cold and distant, and so Lan Qiren went, grumbling the entire time.

He was far too old for this sort of nonsense. For all that his sword was named after the soaring of the heart, a memento of all his lost dreams, he didn’t actually fly on Xinfei all that much – after all, he was not a traveler, he did not go places. He remained home.

But for his nephew’s sake…

Lan Qiren did not take anyone with him when he went, not wanting to burden anyone else with his worries and concerns and unwilling to share them; instead, he took only his sword and his guqin on his back, as if he were Lan Wangji going out on a night-hunt.

It occurred to him as he flew towards the Qiongqi Path that that probably meant that his opinion on Wei Wuxian was not so dire as all that. It was nowhere within his expectations that Wei Wuxian would attack him, as if he were some sort of ravening dog. Lan Qiren knew himself well enough to know that if he truly thought that of Wei Wuxian, he wouldn’t have asked him for help in the first place.

That still didn’t mean he thought it was a good idea for Lan Wangji to associate with him.

Nor did it mean he had to make things easy for him.

“Wei Wuxian,” he bellowed in his best disappointed teacher’s voice when he saw the man, dropping lightly from the sky as he did, and had the pleasure of seeing the Yiling Patriarch jump a chi into the air and try to hide behind his Ghost General. Who then also attempted to hide behind him, leading to a rather amusing panicked shoving match of juvenile desperation to get away from an imminent scolding.

It was complimentary, if a little ridiculous. If either of them wanted to hurt him, he’d be dead so quickly that he wouldn’t even know what killed him.

“I see that I failed to teach you etiquette as well as ethics,” Lan Qiren said ponderously, accompanying his words with one of his better glares and waving the letter he had received at Wei Wuxian – he’d been shoved out in front after all. “Is this all the respect you think I am due as your teacher? A single sentence without any salutation? Summoning me to come to your side like a lapdog?”

“I didn’t think the letter was really from you!” Wei Wuxian squeaked. To judge by his expression, it appeared that he was in fact acquainted with shame, only that it had been a long time and the acquaintance had been very slight. “I thought – a prank – someone mimicking your signature –”

“Oh, we’re in trouble now,” the Ghost General murmured in a voice so soft it might have been missed, if only Lan Qiren’s ears were not quite so sharp.

Sharp enough, in fact, to hear how Wei Wuxian’s song, always a spritely thing, had grown a little slower, a little more sober, but not nearly as twisted and disharmonious as he would have expected from the stories he had heard about him. Wei Wuxian’s heart still sang free and clear, idealistic and well-meaning even if he was a little too wild, and Lan Qiren was reassured that he had come to the right person.

Wei Wuxian might be a bit of a madman, choosing demonic cultivation and defying the cultivation world as he did, making all the terrible choices that he had, but he was still a good person.

He would help.

The Ghost General, on the other hand, was in turns soft and gentle and rough and discordant, the rippling flow of his melody torn through with harsh and jagged trills like a clenching bleeding hand dragged along guqin strings, like a dying breath choked into a qiao, thick with the resentment of the unquiet dead – Lan Qiren would have to keep an eye on him.

Some classes on the subject of restraint and moderation would not go amiss, he thought, falling instinctively into analysis. That would help bring together the two sides of that personality, to soften the vicious rage and strengthen the too-weak tune…

Lan Qiren huffed, shaking his head at his own foolishness. It was too easy to slide back into the role of teacher, no matter how strange the environs – it had been a long time since he had left home, he thought, even for a night-hunt, and old habits were difficult to abandon. This trip, barely started, was already wearing on him.

He flicked his sleeve, folding his hands behind him, and began to walk in the direction of Lanling.

“Wait, your letter…did you say you wanted my help with something?” Wei Wuxian asked, his eyes wide as saucers as he hurried to catch up and fall into step behind him. “I…me? Really?”

“Yes,” Lan Qiren said. “The concern is of a musical nature, and there are reasons I could not ask Wangji. You are an excellent musical cultivator. Will you assist?”

“Of course, teacher,” Wei Wuxian said automatically, and Lan Qiren smiled, pleased. “A teacher for a day, a father for a lifetime – it’s the least I can do. Only, uh, as I’m sure you know, that is…my reputation…”

“I’m aware of it.”

“Then you see why I thought your letter was a fake, don’t you? If I go to Gusu, who knows how they’d respond to seeing me – no, I do know, I know exactly what would happen. They’d lock me up!”

“Not if you were my guest,” Lan Qiren said firmly. He had that much influence in the sect, he thought, after all those years of faithful service – and in the end if they did refuse to give him any face and insist on locking Wei Wuxian up, what then? Who would they turn to in order to find the music that might heal him from his purported madness, if not Lan Qiren himself? “I would ensure that you would be free to leave as you wished.”

“Even if it’s Hanguang-jun that wants to force me to stay?” Wei Wuxian asked, a challenge in his voice.

“Have you ever heard of He Kexin?” Lan Qiren asked, and Wei Wuxian blinked and shook his head. “I wouldn’t have expected you to. A criminal of my generation, guilty of the premeditated murder of an honored teacher of the Lan sect and sentenced to indefinite confinement within the Cloud Recesses. She ultimately died when Wangji was quite young, and it affected him deeply – if you think he would force you to stay anywhere against your wishes, you have fundamentally misunderstood my nephew.”

Wei Wuxian was silent for a moment, absorbing that, and then said, “Premeditated murder of an honored teacher, huh? Is that a warning for me?”

“Is that a serious question, or are you merely curious to know if you are too old for me to smack you?” Lan Qiren asked, frowning. “The answer in either case is no.”

The Ghost General’s sleeves were all in tatters, but that didn’t stop him from trying to use them to muffle his laughter. He seemed to be enjoying his master’s misfortune.

Assuming Wei Wuxian actually was his master. There was definitely a bond of some sort there between the two of them, more intertwined than friends, less harmonious than lovers, not as echoing as that between swordsman and his spiritual weapon; Lan Qiren couldn’t quite put his finger on it. A friendship underpinned by life debts running both ways, perhaps.

Lan Qiren was unable to resist: he turned abruptly and pinned the Ghost General with a dour look. “Would you like to contribute to this discussion?”

Fierce corpses could not pale, but it seemed that they could make a facial expression that suggested they had. “No, honored teacher,” the Ghost General said, stuttering a little. “Sorry, honored teacher.”

He had once been a poor student, Lan Qiren concluded, and had the fear of teachers firmly implanted in him.

“Hmm,” he said, and then, because he could, “Name the three most commonly encountered types of ghosts.”

The Ghost General looked like he was about to faint. “I – I – I wasn’t expecting a quiz –”

“…are you teasing him?” Wei Wuxian asked, looking a bit like he was going to faint himself.

Lan Qiren shook his head, because he wasn’t, not really – or perhaps more accurately, not entirely. It was certainly part of the reason, but there was more to it than that.

Poor students often had preconceived notions of what teachers were like and were so concerned with their fears that they were unable to focus on the facts before them. In such cases, it was better to give into their assumptions in the first instance, scaring them but also showing them that their fears were insubstantial and could not harm them – for instance, that the dreaded pop quiz would not actually cause them any trouble even if they should fail to answer. Only then was it finally possible to shift over into the actual business of educating them.

It was also, admittedly, rather fun.

“I would be willing to take you as a student,” he said to the Ghost General, whose jaw dropped. “When the present business is done, and if Wei Wuxian can spare you. It would be to your benefit.”

“I – I – I –”

“Perhaps we should table the discussion for now,” Wei Wuxian said quickly, blinking rapidly as if he were attempting to wake himself from a dream. “Honored teacher, what is it that you want me to help with? You said the problem you were having is musical in nature?” His eyes brightened. “An ancient treatise, perhaps..?”

“An investigation,” Lan Qiren said, but noted to himself that it seemed that Wei Wuxian enjoyed the prospect of abstract research. Perhaps they could encourage him to do that instead of whatever it was he was doing with demonic cultivation – it wouldn’t make him an acceptable match for Lan Wangji, but in the event Lan Wangji lost all reason and insisted on the match the way his father had, it might be a good way to blunt Wei Wuxian’s edges and make him more acceptable to the rest of the world. It was much more difficult to be afraid of an eccentric academic than a slaughtering war machine.

Not that Lan Qiren would be conceding defeat so easily, mind you.

“An investigation? Really? Regarding what?”

“Attempted murder,” Lan Qiren said.

“Attempted –” Wei Wuxian’s jaw dropped. “You said it was a musical issue!”

“It is.” Lan Qiren heard the whisper of distant bells, small and tinkling, and stopped walking with a frown.

Swordsmen flying in formation? Here? In this deserted place, where people came only to pass through?

“Did you arrange to meet anyone else?” he asked Wei Wuxian, who frowned in turn.

“Anyone else? No, of course not,” he said. “I mean, even with you, I wasn’t actually expecting someone to show up –”

The Ghost General abruptly moved, a burst of action, and caught an arrow headed straight for Wei Wuxian’s chest.

“Wei Wuxian!” someone roared, and Lan Qiren frowned: now that was an unpleasant sound. Self-absorbed and haughty, as many were, but without valor or etiquette or even courtesy to mitigate it; the dull and vapid piping sound of someone who bullied the weak but feared the strong, and worsened by an underlying sound of something like a guqin string breaking off while playing. The latter wasn’t a personality defect, but an external cause – but what could cause something like that?

The individual in question, it turned out, was Jin Zixun, he noted, his frown deepening. Jin Guangshan’s nephew, yet not one who had been sent to the Cloud Recesses for Lan Qiren to smarten up, whether due to bad timing or his own disinterest. He hadn’t much liked the boy during the few times he had encountered him at discussion conferences, and seeing him for the first time in a while, he didn’t think much of the man he’d become, either.

Jin Zixun was accompanied by a moderately large retinue of Jin retainers, as well as representatives from some other sects, although no major ones. Mostly ones affiliated with the Jin, from what he recalled.

“Wei Wuxian!” Jin Zixun shouted again, and Wei Wuxian was about to speak, an impertinent smirk curling onto his lips. He stopped when Lan Qiren waved him silent. “Lift the curse you’ve placed on me right now and maybe I’ll let you off!”

A curse? That would explain the sound of the breaking guqin string, the external music that did not fit, but of course Wei Wuxian was a flutist, not a guqin player; it wouldn’t have been his work.

(Truly, even though there was no rule that said ‘let stupid men speak freely and you will learn everything you wish to know’, there probably ought to be.)

“What are you talking about?” Wei Wuxian asked, looking bored. “What curse?”

“You’re still pretending you don’t know? Look at this! Look what you’ve done to me!”

Jin Zixun pulled open his shirt, revealing his chest, and Lan Qiren’s lip curled in disgusted.

The Hundred Holes curse – that was an interesting choice. That required a particular type of bitterness to cast, being both nasty, brutal and slow in a way suggestive of a personal grudge and yet, to not inform the victim of who was the caster? That was distant, anonymous, faceless. Impersonal.

Wei Wuxian denied casting the curse, naturally, and Jin Zixun began threatening to kill him, telling him he wasn’t welcome at Jin Ling’s first month celebration, and now Wei Wuixan looked enraged, was reaching for his flute –

“Enough!” Lan Qiren thundered, and everyone turned to look at him. Jin Zixun mouthed his name in shock, clearly not having noticed him before in his singular focus on Wei Wuxian. “You have presented no proof of Wei Wuxian’s ill intent towards you, nor are you in charge of the invitations to the event in question. You will either produce your proof at once, or else retreat.”

Jin Zixun did neither, unsurprisingly. “What proof do I need?! No one else has such as vicious character as he, and everyone knows that we confronted each other! He hates me! Who else would it be but him?”

“If he wished to kill you, why would he use an anonymous curse rather than simply tear you to pieces with a fierce corpse or summon ghosts to harass you, the way he killed throughout the Sunshot Campaign?” Lan Qiren demanded, irritated as much by the stupidity on display as by the delay. “You cannot kill a man simply based on an assumption of which you are unsure.”

“I am sure! And the proof will be in the act. Once he dies, the curse will lift!” Jin Zixun suddenly grinned, teeth glinting. “And if we’re asking questions, I have one myself: why are you here, honored teacher? Here in the middle of nowhere, without anyone else from the Lan sect beside you – one might almost think that you were conspiring…”

Lan Qiren scoffed.

“For someone as upright and righteous as the honored Teacher Lan to speak in the Yiling Patriarch’s defense is impossible,” one of the retainers shouted. “He’s been bewitched! Wei Wuxian lured him here to kill him!”

“Ridiculous!” Lan Qiren spat.

“Give us one good reason why you’re here, then!” Jin Zixun demanded. “If you’re not here to meet Wei Wuxian!”

“Of course I’m here to meet Wei Wuxian,” Lan Qiren said impatiently, flicking his sleeve and thinking that he would need to have a talk with Jin Guangshan regarding his nephew’s insolence. He would not tolerate such blatant disrespect. “I wrote him a letter inviting him to the Cloud Recesses so that I could discuss some matters with him, and he responded by setting this as the meeting place instead. I agreed, and so came here.”

“What matters would you need to discuss with him?” one of the other cultivators demanded – one of the Ouyang collateral branch that had split from the main family in the previous generation, it looked like, probably out to try to steal some glory. “Honored Teacher Lan, you must explain yourself!”

Oh, Lan Qiren would be having a talk with several people over this.

Still, as much as he would like to stand on his dignity and refuse to answer, that would only lead to more questions. It would inflame tempers and exacerbate the situation, turning this stupid little dispute into the horrible dissonant cacophony of battle.

“Among other matters, I intended to dissuade him from pursuing a marriage with one of my sect,” he said, raising his chin. The Wall of Discipline said Do not tell lies, but a lifetime of practicing the sort of diplomacy necessary to run a sect had taught him that Do not use frivolous words was an adequate counter: sometimes, the best way to avoid an uncomfortable situation was to tell only the relevant part of the truth.

Or, as the rules put it: Speak meagerly, for excess words will only bring harm.

These wastrels did not need to know about the investigation, confidential as it was, and so he could share the portion of his intended discussion which was not.

Several of the crowd were gaping at him, Jin Zixun included, and Wei Wuxian beside him said in a strangled voice, “Marriage?”

“I was going to raise it with you before we were interrupted,” Lan Qiren told him. “I mean no insult by it, but I truly do not believe you to be an appropriate match.”

Wei Wuxian nodded dumbly.

“This is ridiculous,” Jin Zixun suddenly snapped, interjecting himself into the conversation, such as it was. “Lies, all of it, and you think we’d believe – mm!”

He clutched at his face, presumably appalled at being silenced as if it wasn’t exactly what he deserved for such an affront. Except of course he couldn’t leave it at that, gesturing wildly, and all the Jin retainers began to move, pulling out their swords and lifting their bows in readiness.

Wei Wuxian put Chenqing to his lips and issued a single drawn-out note.

Nothing happened.

“They cleared the path of any corpses,” Wei Wuxian hissed, his eyes suddenly reddening with rage. “This was prepared in advance. An ambush! They were never going to let me go to Jin Ling’s first month ceremony…Wen Ning, I’m going to need to use you. Ready, on my count, and – mm!”

Lan Qiren had silenced him as well.

“You will do no such thing,” he said icily, thinking to himself that perhaps he really ought to have insisted on keeping Wei Wuxian at the Cloud Recesses for longer than he had, despite the boy’s disastrous brand of nonsense. It was as if he had never heard of consequences – if Wei Wuxian so much as raised a blade to a single one of these men, the Jin sect would be calling for his head. Forget setting the Ghost General on them! “I will handle this.”

“You?” the Ghost General blurted out. “But - honored teacher…”

Lan Qiren was not, had never been, much of a fighter. He had been confined to the Cloud Recesses in his youth due to being sickly, and in his adulthood due to his brother’s choices; his experience was limited and insufficient. He had lifted both blade and guqin against the Wen sect when they came to burn his home, doing what little he could, and they had beaten him so badly that his heart and lungs had been permanently injured - to this day, he coughed up blood if he became overly emotional, and over-straining himself could lead him to start bleeding from all the qiqiao.

The doctors had warned him that it was not a wound that would ever be likely to heal.

And yet – as the rules of his sect said – with a strong will, anything can be achieved.

Lan Qiren drew his guqin in a single practiced motion and put his hand on the strings.

“Do you intend to fight me?” he asked, listening to the clamor of music from the hearts of the men in front of him. The ones with truly martial or aggressive beats were few and far between: if he needed to, he would target them first, and without their informal leaders, the resolve of the remainder would crumble, and they would flee.

But – he did not think he would need to.

“You can’t attack the honored Teacher Lan!” the Ghost General cried out, clearly appalled by the very thought of it. “You can’t – you just can’t!”

Lan Qiren looked at the young men in front of him, many of whom were frozen in indecision.

“Wei Wuxian may be a rogue cultivator, without even his corpses to aid him,” he reminded them. “But I represent the Lan sect, and it stands behind me. If you attack me now, even if you were to succeed and kill me, there would be an investigation; if there is an investigation, your actions will be discovered; if your actions are discovered, my Lan sect will demand vengeance from which not one of you will escape. You, and your families as well. Or do you believe that my Lan sect will not go to war for me?”

And not only the Lan sect. Lan Qiren might not be much of a fighter, he might never had become the traveling musician he had once dreamed of being, but he was a teacher – a teacher for a day, a father for a lifetime, and his students were scattered throughout the sects, throughout the cultivation world.

Perhaps some of them would stand by in silence, disregarding their filial duty to laugh at his demise.

More, he thought, would raise up their swords for him.

It seemed the Jin retainers thought the same, because no matter how violently Jin Zixun gestured, they did not make any move to attack.

“What’s going on here?!” another voice came at that moment, the low qiao of the steadfast lover – Jin Zixuan, settled at last, grown up and happy. Well, usually happy; at the moment he was clearly horrified. “Are you – are you attacking honored Teacher Lan?! What is wrong with you all? Are you trying to start another war?!”

“They came to ambush Wei Wuxian,” Lan Qiren said, not putting away his guqin just yet. “I was under the impression he was your invited guest, Jin-gongzi. Was that incorrect?”

“It is not,” Jin Zixuan said, and he knocked aside the flailing Jin Zixun’s hand, the one with the sword. “He is invited, and A-Li is waiting for him at Jinlin Tower right now. I knew nothing about any of this – Wei Wuxian, forgive my cousin, and forgive me for not having realized that he’d do something like this. I will make it up to you when we get back home, I promise.”

Wei Wuxian’s mouth worked briefly, and Lan Qiren snapped the silencing spell he’d put on him with a thought.

“Thanks,” Wei Wuxian said, shooting him a look that seemed to contain questions. Lan Qiren assumed the questions related to his judgment of Jin Zixuan’s sincerity, and so he nodded his approval. “It’s – uh – fine, I suppose? It’s not like he succeeded even he did plan this out in advance, even going so far as to get rid of all the corpses to try to trap me…but know this! If honored Teacher Lan wasn’t here, I wouldn’t be nearly so forgiving!”

Or mute. Wei Wuxian had a mouth made for provoking people, just like his mother…why in the world did Lan Wangji have to like him so much?

“Of course,” Jin Zixuan said quickly. “Honored Teacher Lan, you will also come with us, won’t you? You can complete your conversation with Wei Wuxian at Jinlin Tower, and I’m certain your nephews will be pleased to see you…”

Lan Qiren huffed. “I am not so old and doddering as to need to be watched at every moment,” he said, knowing his tone betrayed his tetchiness – all entirely unfeigned, but it would still be helpful if everyone thought that his solo excursion had been merely a symptom of irritation at how he’d been incessantly pestered in his slow recovery. “Very well, we will return with you. Someone will need to carry Wei Wuxian and his ghost general, however, as I note that he has once again failed to bring his sword.”

“I didn’t think I’d need it,” Wei Wuxian drawled. “It seemed an odd accoutrement for a first moon party, but then again perhaps I should have anticipated the ambush?”

Jin Zixuan looked around, realizing that the only people here that could perform the escort were either himself and Lan Qiren or else participants in the ambush. “Honored Teacher Lan,” he said, looking a little panicked. “Forgive my impertinence, but could I ask you…?”

“I’ll ride with honored Teacher Lan,” Wei Wuxian announced, his tone grandiose and extremely irritating. Arrogant little brat. “Provided that you take Wen Ning, Jin-gongzi. After all, honored Teacher Lan still needs to talk to me about how he doesn’t want me to marry someone from his sect.”

Lan Qiren sighed. “It’s for your own good as well, you know,” he told Wei Wuxian even as Jin Zixuan attempted to swallow his own tongue in shock. “Our sect follows our sect rules no matter where we are, marrying in or out, and do so for our whole lives. Is that something you would be willing to tolerate?”

Wei Wuxian grinned at him, his expression – and the cheerful crescendos and upbeat lilt of his song, very nearly back to being as lively as they had been in his youth – suggesting that he was not as dissuaded as might have been hoped.

A few more moments and they all rearranged themselves, taking to the air. It was a little strange: the Ghost General, Wen Ning, rode in front of Jin Zixuan in the more vulnerable position, and because he was nearly the same height as Jin Zixuan their heads kept knocking together by accident, while Lan Qiren pointedly took the lead position as well. A sign of trust, and also recognition that he was a half-head shorter than his erstwhile student.

As they flew through the air, Wei Wuxian put his chin on Lan Qiren’s shoulder. “And there’s also that attempted murder you want me to help you with,” he murmured, voice low. “Reputation or not, ability or not, I will help you as much as I can, honored Teacher Lan, however I can…anything I can do, I will do. Thank you for trusting in me.”

Lan Qiren snorted. “What are you talking about?”

“The curse on Jin Zixun. You didn’t believe him when he said I did it.”

“That’s not trust, but logic,” Lan Qiren said scornfully. “The person who sent that curse plays the guqin, not the flute. How could it have been you?”

It was strange, though. A curse, spiritual poison, and both by guqin players – it was not an uncommon instrument to use, but to wield it with such skill that the instrument became an innate part of the player’s residual spiritual qi, the way the Lan sect taught its disciples to do…?

Lan Xichen didn’t like Lan Wangji’s crush on Wei Wuxian any more than Lan Qiren did, he thought to himself, even if he had encouraged it in their youth – but that had been before Wei Wuxian had turned to his dark and crooked path, and before Lan Wangji had demonstrated signs that he was unwilling to turn away from him despite it. Even more than Lan Qiren, Lan Xichen feared his brother following in their father’s footsteps, in damning himself for a lover who didn’t deserve him, feared that Wei Wuxian would shatter his beloved Lan Wangji’s fragile heart into a million pieces and more…

Still, a curse? The Hundred Holes, no less? His nephew?

A few days earlier, Lan Qiren would have said it was impossible. But then, a few days earlier, he would have said that it would be impossible for Lan Xichen’s lover to be poisoned through a spiritual song that, as far as Lan Qiren knew, only Lan Xichen and those he had personally trained had ever used on him.

Lan Qiren did not understand, and what little he did, he didn’t like.

Still, he had the marginal satisfaction that his initial mission had been accomplished, however uncomfortable the journey might have been – Wei Wuxian had agreed to assist him in his investigation. If he could only get the man alone long enough to explain the issue, they could even start looking into it at once, at the first month party in Jinlin Tower, which everyone in the cultivation world would attend.

They would discover the truth.

And when they did…

Let it not be Xichen, Lan Qiren thought. Let it be anyone else, no matter what – just not him.

I don’t know what I’d do if it were him.

[pips-fics]

ask: Hi 👉👈 if it’s okay can I request a hyunjin centric fic? where he’s feverish and emotional nd the others give him lots of affection and comfort 🥺🥺 I love your blog so much it’s so soft and feels safe and ahhh it makes me happy 👉👈 thank you and it’s okay if you don’t feel up to it !!

ask: hello! how are you? i just wanted to say that this is my all time fave blog :) i’m kinda new to tumblr so i’m not sure if that’s how u say it tho hahaha. are u down for requested atm? if yes, could i request a sick hyunjinnie with any caretaker (preferably bangchan). if u are not taking requests atm, then carry on with ur day 🌸✨💜

tw: vomiting, fainting

let us break ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

all idols are trained actors. a lot of people don’t realize it, maybe, but they had to be, to some extent. even before debuting, they learned by observation how to fake health, confidence, and calm - and beyond debut, it was happiness all the time. once, hyunjin found out that one of his best childhood friends was in the hospital, and then sang and smiled through a fansign without blinking an eye an hour later. he knew other idols who had endured much worse.

so yes, while hyunjin might not be entirely comfortable playing a role in a movie or a show, he was quite capable of faking it. maybe that’s why he was able to convince his group mates that he was okay right up until he collapsed.

he hadn’t expected things to get so bad. at first, he was just a bit congested - nothing he couldn’t pass off as allergies, really. once he’d gotten wrapped up in practicing, it had been easy to brush anything else off - like sweating, achy muscles, even nausea - as an effect of intense exercise. too easy, maybe, because hyunjin was not at all prepared for his vision to flicker with darkness or for his legs to entirely give up in the middle of dancing.

fortunately, he retained consciousness, but he wasn’t able to stand quickly enough to dodge minho as he moved to their next formation. the older boy tripped over hyunjin and tumbled to the ground with an “oof,” which was then followed by the chaos of everyone trying to figure out what had happened at once.

it was way too much for hyunjin’s fevered brain to process. he shut down, the sounds blurring into something entirely nonsensical, so hyunjin tuned it all out until a gentle hand on his back made him jump.

“hyunjinnie?” it was chan, wiping tears away. “can you tell me what’s wrong?”

hyunjin shook his head. “minho-hyung–”

“he’s okay,” chan said. “don’t worry.”

shuffling his feet awkwardly, minho nodded. “i know how to fall safely. it happens to the best of us.”

with the greatest of his greatest fears alleviated, hyunjin took a few deep breaths and looked around the room. besides minho, who was still standing nearby looking moderately uncomfortable, and chan, who was rubbing comforting circles on hyunjin’s back, the rest of the members were hanging out near the benches on the other side of the practice room. jisung was talking to their dance teacher while jeongin and changbin were messing with felix in what was probably a deliberate attempt at creating a distraction. seungmin was quietly observing hyunjin from a distance, concern written all over his face. distractions didn’t tend to work as well on him. hyunjin managed a smile in an attempt to be reassuring, but it didn’t seem to have the intended effect.

rather than relaxing, seungmin’s frown deepened, and he stood up and walked over, arms crossed. “don’t act like you’re okay,” he said, and hyunjin suddenly understood. he waved his arms around placatingly.

“i won’t - i’ll take today off, okay?” hyunjin caved easily. next to him, chan looked shocked, and not without reason.

three years ago, things would have gone down quite differently. things had gone down quite differently when hyunjin had been a trainee, and he’d woken up in the hospital with a very rattled seungmin at his bedside. hyunjin wouldn’t make that mistake again any time soon if he could help it.

that didn’t make it easy.

somehow the tears started up again of their own accord as hyunjin relented. “i’m sorry,” he said. “i– i’ll make it up to you all later, i know i’m behind with the dance, it’s just–”

this got the attention of the rest of the group, eliciting a scoff from changbin. “please don’t - if you do that, i’ll be even more behind than i already am.”

“give us a chance to catch up!” jisung added.

hyunjin shook his head. “but i’m supposed to be a dancer.”

felix bounded over and latched on to hyunjin’s arm. “you’re ahead of me, too. i think the only one you’re not ahead of is minho-hyung, and he made half of the choreography.”

minho nodded solemnly. “i cheated.”

hyunjin was too tired to feel better about himself, but too miserable to argue, so he just shrugged and avoided eye contact with everyone.

chan put a hand to hyunjin’s forehead, and nodded as if confirming something. “i’ll come back to the dorm with you, then - i could use a rest day, too, i think.”

with no room for argument, hyunjin decided not to bother trying, despite his misgivings about taking up chan’s time. also, out of all of them, hyunjin thought that chan could use the extra rest the most. by the time they arrived at the dorm, the guilt in hyunjin’s stomach was more or less consumed by an overwhelming sense of loneliness and fear.

he settled in to the living room, sinking into the couch and trying to repress his body’s violent shivering by wrapping himself in a blanket, though it wasn’t very effective. hyunjin was relieved when chan sat next to him, pulling out his laptop - as expected, not really taking a break after all, but hyunjin didn’t mind. he knew chan was busy, and liked to feel productive as often as possible. people relaxed in different ways, anyway. just like that, despite the growing ache in his stomach, hyunjin began to relax and drift off to sleep.

it wasn’t until chan moved to get up that hyunjin snapped back awake. he immediately latched on to chan’s arm.

“hyung, don’t leave me.”

the words were out of his mouth before hyunjin had a chance to consider them, and he immediately hid his face in the couch cushions in embarrassment.

“hyunjinnie,” chan said gently, brushing a hand through hyunjin’s hair. he didn’t sound annoyed, so hyunjin peeked up at him, and found him smiling fondly. “i wasn’t going to leave, just going to get some water. you want anything?”

hyunjin felt his cheeks redden, and let go of chan’s arm. he shook his head. “sorry, hyung.”

“nothing to worry about,” chan said.

being alone even briefly was unsettling to hyunjin, feeling as bad as he was. it meant being forced to take stock of his body, which meant confronting that he felt, somehow, even worse than before. his head was pounding, everything hurt, and his stomach–

his stomach flipped very violently, and hyunjin retched, leaning over the couch, a bit stunned. he swallowed back the vile substance that rushed up his throat with a whimper and scrambled to his feet.

he made it to the toilet just in time for his body to rebel again. this time, hyunjin was hopeless to stop it, and it wasn’t long before tears were rolling down his cheeks. his hair was sticking to his face, matted down with sweat and in some places vomit. hyunjin tried to push it out of his way, but his hands were shaking terribly, and the nausea was so overwhelming, it was hard to focus on anything else.

chan found hyunjin with his cheek on the toilet seat, expression vacant, past the point of caring about a mess. when he saw chan, his face scrunched up into a sad pout.

“hyung… i’m sorry…”

chan chuckled and shook his head. “don’t apologize,” he said quietly, moving to hyunjin’s side just as the younger man began heaving again. chan held hyunjin’s hair and rubbed his shoulder blades, wishing he could do more. he couldn’t help but wince at the way hyunjin’s muscles tensed beneath his fingers.

it took quite a while for hyunjin’s stomach to settle. for about 10 minutes, it was on-and-off puking, half his time spent bent over the toilet, and the other half bonelessly slumped against chan. by the end, he was so exhausted that chan was considering bringing a mixing bowl into the bathroom, just so that hyunjin didn’t have to put so much effort into moving.

finally, hyunjin let out a shuddering sigh - or maybe a sob - and curled up in chan’s lap.

“can i sleep here?” hyunjin mumbled, words slurred with exhaustion. some of the sick in his hair was beginning to dry.

“soon, jinnie. for now, let’s get you cleaned up.”

chan opted to give hyunjin a warm bath, and was pleased when hyunjin relaxed into it, half-asleep. he figured it was okay for the younger man to take a quick nap under chan’s supervision. by the time hyunjin was clean, chan was reluctant to wake him. just as he was about to, hyunjin’s face scrunched up, and he whimpered.

“hyunjin?”

“‘m sorry,” he mumbled, fresh tears slipping down his cheeks. “i’ll do better…”

chan shook him gently, and hyunjin’s eyes flew open. “i’m sorry, i–” he cut himself off with a gasp, taking in his surroundings slowly. “channie-hyung?”

“hey, buddy,” he said, speaking softly. “you okay?”

hyunjin was breathing in short, quick gasps. his eyes darted around the small room, as though searching for something. he blinked quickly, and looked back at chan, who offer a smile.

“it’s just us, you know?”

drinking air as though its supply was dangerously limited, hyunjin nodded. “i know, yeah, i just… hyung, i’m ruining your day off.”

chan shook his head immediately. “what are you talking about, jinnie? you know i’m here because i want to be, right?”

hyunjin bit his lip, trying not to cry. his fevered brain was not being kind to him. chan’s words were too genuine to deny, though, so he nodded, eyes closed. he felt chan’s arms wrap around him, hesitant until hyunjin hugged him back.

“jinnie, you’re allowed to be human. you’re allowed to hurt. it’s okay.”

something there caught him off guard. something broke, something that had been built up, something that had protected hyunjin for a long time. a little snap. it hurt, realizing he’d closed himself off without realizing it, and holding back tears was a lost cause, but then - that was kind of chan’s point.

why hide them?

so hyunjin cried, broken a bit, but held together by one of his best friends - his family. he let himself break a bit more - just as much as he needed - and didn’t flinch when the rest of the members came home. he let them in through a little crack of a doorway, let him hold him and remind him of who he was, and he began to heal.

——

no reader survey this time, too tired and my computer is breaking but please feel free to send in any thoughts you’d like to share, about the fic or otherwise!

——

feel free to send more asks! / rules

[memoriashell]

MISC. TITLES AND AUTHORS. FROM: Danganronpa 4KOMA Vol. 3

hello! i’m once again challenging myself this month by attempting to put out several collections of ishimaru-centric content from the 4komas (and one anthology comic) leading up to his birthday at the end of the month. seeing as i’m already behind the schedule i put myself on, we’ll see how this goes.

obviously these aren’t the only comics from the third 4koma volume that he features in, but these are some of the ones he features in more prominently/needed a few extra to throw in just to make it look nice! forgive my awful frankensteining of putting comics together, but i was worried about how it’d look on tumblr otherwise. images are in order from left to right, but when referring to the summaries under the cut, the comic on the right is listed first, and the left is listed second; following the way that manga is actually formatted.

disclaimer, i’m not fluent in japanese, nor would i call this a perfect translation, just a rough one to get the basic understanding! i have the comics individually on imgur with fuller translations (i didn’t finish translating the sfx orz i’m sorry), i only have rough summaries under the cut here!

(i’d also like to briefly disclaimer that the 4komas are gag comics, i.e. meant to be taken jokingly. that doesn’t necessarily mean i agree with some of the things that are used for jokes here, like hifumi being used as a joke simply for his weight or syo’s fetishization [of gay men] as a fujoshi)

as for usage: if you’re going to use the raws for anything, or reference the rough translation that i’ve given, i’d appreciate some credit (via a reblog is fine!), or a link back! however, such is not necessary, and otherwise, you’re free to use however you wish, since the only thing i really own are these particular scans.

1:   Gutsy Chihiro-Chan  by Akazuki Sho : The general jist of this one is that Chihiro tries to be strong by interupting Mondo and Kiyotaka’s arguing...only to be interrupted and pushed around when they try to do so.

Handsome Guy Criteria  by Akazuki Sho :  Because Genocider Syo’s targets are ‘handsome guys’, the boys in this comic feel safe. Byakuya tells them to take a look at the profiles [the joke being here that Syo’s targets aren’t exactly ‘handsome’, resulting in them feeling less safe]

2:  Heart-Pounding Ticket  by Watarizora Tsubamemaru  :  Syo gives Kiyotaka an outing ticket (school mode). Kiyotaka’s under the impression that he’s speaking to Toko, and presumes she wants to study with him. Syo however, wants him to use the ticket to ‘ask out’ Makoto, and the pair are confused about how this outcome is enjoyable for her.

It's also troublesome to explain  by Itagaki Hako :   Makoto concludes how the killer could commit the crime. Kiyotaka isn’t fully satisfied, and inquires about the relevance of the killer’s clothing to the crime. When he receives no response, he asks what’s wrong, saying Makoto’s deductioning was fine.

3:   Needless concern  by  Nananse Ichika :  Kiyotaka expresses concern that Makoto’s shoes don’t fit him, and gifts him a set of ‘properly fitting shoes’. The implication here being that these are a pair of boots (either a pair of Kiyotaka’s or ones similar to his), as Makoto notices a sudden height difference, and finds it overwhelming-- as Kiyotaka remarks that he’ll take care of getting rid of his old ones, Makoto yells at him to give it back.

Disturbance   by  Natsuka Kudan  :   Kiyotaka remarks on the way the other students dress, saying that they should be more like Toko (in the sense that she follows dress code). As Kiyotaka comments on how perfect [in a public morals sense] it is, Toko sneezes and causes Syo to emerge, and he retracts his statement.

4:  First Impressions by Kawashima Rumi   :  Kiyotaka wakes up in the classroom at the beginning of the game, under the impression that he’d accidentally fallen asleep, he thinks he’s a failure [as a morals committee member], and barges into the entrance hall asking to be punished [by the teacher].  It then transitions to Kiyotaka introducing himself, noting that people [here] refer to him as ‘M’, to which Makoto suggests has to do with his bangs. [It seems to imply that this is the ‘punishment’ Monokuma gave him, although this is still a little...odd, I guess. Maybe because Monokuma or Mastermind start with the letter M? ]

Forced to make a detour by Kawashima Rumi  :  Based on the conversation between Makoto and Kyoko in Chapter Three, when Makoto says that he’s taking Kiyotaka to the dining hall, Kyoko insists on going with them. Makoto gets the impression that she’s trying to keep an eye on him initially, but later realizes that she just seems to be hungry.

5:  Hypnotism by Shirataki Neko  :  This one’s a little nonsensical. Kiyotaka rambles a little bit about duties and such, but you only get parts of the conversation as the comic goes on, reflecting the joke of the comic. Which is that as they’re being ‘hypnotized’, they’re paying less and less attention to what he’s actually saying.

Bousou-debu** by Aoi Gamu  : Not much that isn’t plainly obvious— Mondo uses Hifumi as a vehicle. Kiyotaka interrupts, but only to comment that they’re on the wrong side of the hallway, basically.

** I’ll include the break down translation notes for this comic’s title since it’s a little much... I wasn't entirely sure how to best translate this here, so I left it as it was. The title is clearly meant to be a play on Mondo's talent, SHSL Bōsōzoku. Debu is usually a rather derogitory way to refer to a fat person ( so think something along the lines of fatty/fatso ). If I had to translate the title, it'd probably be something like 'recklessly driving fatty', maybe 'fatty riding delinquent' given the context of the comic itself?

6:  The School Mode ( Splash Page ) +  School mode × Fujisaki  by Rara (Lala) :  Chihiro intends to try and get stronger while gathering items; however both pairs (Kiyotaka/Mondo and Sakura/Aoi) insist on doing it for her. Makoto seems surprised when Chihiro comes to do cleaning duty, but it’s only because they have no other work to do.

[ironhoshi]

Hey. 

Hey, listen. 

I just want to say thank you so much for deciding to follow me. I don’t know why, but for some reason 600 of you have decided you want to put up with my chaotic energy and I just- THANK YOU~! I am drinking my coffee, trying to wake up, but I wanted to give you all a long preview of my Mando!Obi tattoo artist au. I know I talked about this like over a month ago, but I haven’t given up on it. I’ve just been...all over the place! Ahem, anyway~!  Under the cut! (also, apologies if the formatting gets weird- tumblr has issues.)

☀️

He had been willing to swallow his pride. He had been willing to seek assistance from the people who he had turned his back on because he needed the Young to thrive, but things never seemed to go according to plan. Obi-Wan had crafted a plan to break into the communication center so he could send an encrypted message to the Jedi. 

This war- 

It just wasn’t going to stop. He pressed a hand to his aching stomach while eyeing the climb he needed to make. Would the Force slip past fingers again if he asked for aid?

He just wanted the war to end and for the horrors to stop.

Something felt off on the other side of those walls, but he had to do this. The Young were counting on him. He balled his hand into a fist, twisting dirty fabric up between his fingers, and purposefully ignored the gnawing hunger. He could eat something after this was over. The younger ones in the group needed the food more than him. 

The climb to the small window made his hands throb and his fingers bleed. Getting the window open was even more tiresome, but he managed somehow. His whole body seemed to jolt when he landed inside the room. One knee hitting the ground in his attempt at landing in a crouch. The pain almost stopped him from realizing the lights were already on. He glanced up from his crouched position and blanched.

Several blasters were aimed at him. 

“That’s the one,” someone said with a sick sort of delight. “The bounty-” What? 

He had planned this all out so why had it come to this?

They couldn’t even take care of their own, but they would waste credits on hiring Mandalorians? “That’s a child.” “He’s been polluting the minds of our children. He is a monster that kills without a second thought.” Obi-Wan’s eyes widened in surprise. Had this been a trap? He had gotten the information that the center would be empty from- no that didn’t matter. He needed to figure out how to escape without causing more death. He just wanted the war to end! Why was that so wrong?

“Will you finally cease fire,” he asked. Everyone in the room glanced at him, at least he thought they did. The helmets the new arrivals were wearing certainly seemed to move fraction towards him. “If I die? Will you finally stop this endless war?”

Silence rang. He straightened up to his full height and pressed a hand to his chest. The aches he always felt seemed to vanish for a moment as he stared death down. There was no death, there was only the Force- at least for a Jedi. Oh, he wasn’t one anymore. Would he just die then? “They just want to live in a world where their parents don’t slaughter each other for no reason. You don’t even remember why this war really started, do you? You just keep rekindled your hatred-” “See? This is the nonsense he spews-” “Let the boy talk,” one of the strangers ordered. 

“I can’t pay whatever they said they can, but I have a request-”

☀️

“This is yours,” Dain said before reaching out to ruffle his freshly washed hair. Obi-Wan flinched before he could stop himself. The hand stilled, but then his new father just sighed. “Decorate the room how you wish.” 

He had hurt Dain’s feelings somehow.

Footsteps echoed in his ears before the door hissed shut. He raised a hand to his chest and winced at the sharp pain from his heart. He hadn’t meant to be adopted, he had just wanted to save his friends and the time he made the best deal he could. Melida/Daan was now a strong outpost for Mandalore. The agreement had left a faint bitter look on the face of many, but it was for the best. The planet would heal. 

He just...he could never return. 

”Where will you go,” the lead Mandalorian asked while reaching up to remove his helmet. Obi-Wan didn’t even glance up. No, he just kept his gaze straight ahead while he wrapped his arms just a little tighter around his legs. 

“Somewhere.” 

He had planned on shoving a ration in his mouth and then taking a quick sonic before he worried about the fact he was now being forced to drift through the galaxy. Now he was being forced to talk more about his situation. Thirteen and no place to call home.

Maybe the Order would take him back? He’d be willing to be a simple Archivist at this point. It was a twisted joke, really, the fact the idea of becoming a farm hand suddenly bubbled up in his mind. Hadn’t a fear of being some measly farmer plagued him for far too long? Now he was willing to do just that. 

“You could come with us.” That did cause him to glance up. The man just smiled softly at him, warmth in those dark eyes. “You helped the negotiations, despite more than half of this planet wanting you dead. You were willing to die to save others. You have a place by my side.” Obi-Wan blinked and couldn’t help the confused look that appeared on his face. 

What was the bounty hunter on about?

“...I am trying to adopt you, Obi.”

He collapsed backward onto the bed. When was the last time he had slept on something so soft? His arms stretched up towards the ceiling and he eyed the palms of his hands. He had accepted the adoption, but now he didn’t know what to do. 

Well, he could just go on a few missions with his new family he supposed. What could go wrong? Dain said he wanted to disrupt a slave ring once Obi-Wan was more settled. He’d just tell the man he was settled already, even if he wasn’t.

☀️

His buir had been a dramatic idiot when he announced he was moving to Coruscant. There had been questions of if he was trying to get close to those jettise after all these years. He wasn't. There had been questions about the locale. He had a feeling. There had even been questions about whether or not he'd still come home to visit. He would. Obi-Wan was hardly some fragile thing that needed to be protected all the time, something Dain knew. That man had shoved a blade straight through a slaver in front of him and had smiled so reassuringly. Obi-Wan hadn't even thought twice about rushing into the open embrace of the Mandalorian who had executed someone so cleanly in front of him. At the time he had thought Dain was like the heroes of the Old Republic, but he learned that his old man had some ridiculous ideas. The first time he had gotten a sniffle it had been like the whole Clan was under attack. 

Life as a Mandalorian had been eye-opening. In his youth, he had believed that they were violent people that worshiped war, but Dain had slapped a paintbrush in his hand the first time he was caught staring at the murals in their home. 

Stories, stories could be told through art. 

Obi-Wan grew up surrounded by warriors, even learned some new ways to defend himself along the way, but he immersed himself in giving words an image crafted from ink.

He learned the older styles of telling those stories. Tattoos created by a droid weren't bad, but they never seemed to carry the weight of emotions and intentions behind them. They were fast, perfect, and a credit a dozen. Maybe he had been slightly opportunist when the war broke out, but he saw a galaxy unfold in front of him that was dripping in stories waiting to be memorialized. 

Coruscant was the center of that war. 

Obi-Wan wanted to be able to send credits back to his family, but he always wanted to tell stories. 

Starting up a business had been a tad more tiresome than he had thought it would be. The Senate had implemented extra laws and regulations that made him jump through far more hoops than he wanted. 

He finally managed to claw his way through all the bureaucratic tape and opened his means of continuing to tell stories.

There was something comforting about being inside his own tattoo parlor. The walls were rich, warm hues and splayed with various pieces of art. His buir tended to bring back unique pieces from all over the galaxy. Obi had to admit he was partial to the more street art style ones, but the pieces from Naboo held a special place in his heart. He cast a glance towards the painting of the inside of some library on Naboo and wondered faintly what that place smelled like. Was it aged flimsi and rich inks or was it merely the metallic scent of datapads? “Obi,” Heddurk called while running into the shop. He glanced away from the painting and raised an eyebrow in question. “Buir wants to know why you barely have any food in your apartment!” His brows drew together as he stared at his younger brother. Ah, so their parent had gone straight to his place and immediately began meddling. His lips twitched before he flashed a bemused smile. Yes, that sounded about right. “I didn’t know you were visiting,” he said softly in response. Heddurk came to a stop in front of the counter and slammed his gloved hands down on the top of it while giving him a blank look. 

“If you read your messages then you would have seen my warning.” Obi-wan snorted. His very literal brother did have a point, he hadn’t exactly checked any of his incoming messages. In his defense, if it could be called that, he had been working on designing a memorial tattoo for yet another clone. 

“Ah, I see.”

☀️

Obi-Wan rested his chin in his gloved hand while he watched the face in front of him go through various stages of anger and disgust. He managed to keep his expression blank despite wanting to laugh. 

"Boba," the tall bounty hunter snapped. Her voice was like vibroblades. "We don't have all day. Your father is waiting for us."

Boba, the barely teenager having an emotional breakdown, finally swore. "Do you think this is a joke?"

Obi-Wan grinned slowly and used his free hand to point to the sign that said a guardian had to be present. "Unless I get proof the best I can do is that."

"A karking temp of a grinning tooka? Do you know who my father is? He will-"

"I don't care. I have a code I adhere to and I don't bend the rules for anyone. Now, we done?" He ignored the way the bounty hunter was suddenly looking at him like she wanted to eat him. 

"I'll be back and you'll be sorry," Boba snapped while slapping the temporary tattoo sheet down on the desk. That, of course, was when the front door opened. Obi-Wan shifted his attention and winced. Ah, yes, now would be the time a clone showed up. 

A sort of tense silence fell over the place. 

Well kark.

[unpeumacabre]

soaring dragon dancing phoenix - 龙飞凤舞: prologue

Yunmeng is no longer home for Wei Wuxian, for he is no longer welcome. And so when he visits he can always count on Jiang Cheng descending upon his head with the full strength of heaven's fury, to chase him out. But one day when he sneaks into Yunmeng again, days go by without Jiang Cheng making an appearance. Something has happened to Wei Wuxian's prickly shi-di, something that - once they reunite - they will find is far greater than they could ever have anticipated. Accompanied also by Wei Wuxian's dear friend (?) Lan Zhan and a Lan Xichen who has only just reluctantly left isolation, the four of them set out on a journey that will bring them across the greater part of China to the mystical Kunlun mountains of mythology - and more importantly, may bring them love, healing, and reconciliation.

If only Wei Wuxian could take his head out of his oblivious arse and start putting himself in other people's shoes for once...

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Wangxian, Xicheng, Wei Wuxian & Jiang Cheng

Read on AO3 (bc tumblr might mess up the formatting + more extensive author’s notes on the story)

Count: 1.5k

next ->

One year after the events of the Guanyin Temple, and the death of former Chief Cultivator Lianfang-zun.

Lan Zhan!

I agree with what you said about Sect Leader Yao, that old fart. He wouldn’t know a good idea if it bit him on the arse. If I were you I’d have snuck into his room at night and shaved off his eyebrows – but then again, you’re Chief Cultivator, and you have to follow boring things like rules and protocol. Don’t worry, the next time I’m in Pingyang I’ll … It’s a secret! Look forward to the next time you have a discussion conference with that pig-headed old fool.

I’ve finally reached Yunmeng. Little Apple took such a long time to get started from the inn in Jiangling. I think he had a crush on one of the serving girls, to be honest. Even apples didn’t work to drag him away from her. I had to conjure a mirage of her all the way from Jiangling to Yunmeng to get him going – can you imagine that? One of these days I’ll have to find a nice little female ass to keep his little Little Apple happy … Hahaha! I can practically see you rolling your eyes at me now, Lan Zhan. You still can’t take a dirty joke after all.

Anyway, I digress. It’s nice to be back in Yunmeng and be able to pick all the lotus pods I want and to flirt with all the pretty Yunmeng girls, although none of them are as pretty as you are, of course. You’d make a big stir if you came to Yunmeng – you should visit with me one of these days when you’re free! Although I know of course you have responsibilities as Chief Cultivator etc etc but I promise you it’ll be fun! One of these days I’ll come kidnap you. Then Lan Qiren, that old man, would really have an aneurysm, ha! I’d kidnap you just to see his reaction.

Don’t worry about me, I’m talking nonsense as usual. I wouldn’t really kidnap you, unless I was really bored. And Jiang Cheng would probably beat my ass for trying. Honestly, it surprises me that I haven’t had the honour of Jiang Cheng’s company yet. Somehow, he always knows the moment I step into Yunmeng – it’s like he has a spell set up to go off whenever I’m in the vicinity??? And he never fails to turns up for an hour or two just to shout at me, thrash Zidian around a bit and tell me to go back to Gusu. Then he storms off somewhere to drink tea or something. I swear he’s going to die of high blood pressure one of these days.

Well, I expect I’ll see him around. He’s bound to turn up sometime or other. Looking forward to your reply, and counting every one of your twenty words,

Wei Wuxian

***

Lan Zhan!

Thank you for expressing your concern for Little Apple’s wellbeing. He’s eating well (as usual) and living happily in the city stables where I left him. He has a new crush on the stable boy though, but I’m not worried about that – it seems like his affections are as transient as floating smoke and passing clouds. He seems to be like his former master in the sense of being indiscriminate with regards to his choice of partner, which makes me wonder why he’s taken such an intense aversion to me. I guess it’s just the same old story with me and animals all over again.

It’s my third day in Yunmeng, and still no sign of Jiang Cheng anywhere. Perhaps he’s simply busy with some night hunt or other and can’t be bothered to whip my ass into shape. I’ve been visiting his favourite haunts the past few days but no luck – it seems like he’s really busy this time. I’m starting to worry, and although I never thought I’d ever say this, I miss his grumpy ass. It’s been the longest I’ve gone without hearing him call me a fucking idiot, haha!

Anyway I have a funny story to tell! Yesterday I went to investigate rumours of walking corpses at the base of Yunmeng Mountain. Apparently some farmers came across them and ran away but one of them was caught and eaten.

But guess what, Lan Zhan? Actually, it was nothing more than a group of hermits who’d come down from Yunmeng Mountain five days ago after meditating in seclusion for three years, and they were doing their Bagua ritual circle walk around one of the dove trees at the base of the mountain. They hadn’t bathed once in those three years, and so when the farmers came upon them and saw them chanting and moaning and pacing around the tree they were mistaken for walking corpses! Hahahaha how ridiculous is that??? Anyway I cleared up the misunderstanding. The farmer who was apparently eaten fell down a cliff when he was trying to escape from the “corpses” and broke his leg, so the hermits rescued him and patched him up. He was perfectly fine. I talked to them and they seemed like a pretty normal bunch to me – they were quite a big group when they came down the mountain at first apparently but then most of them decided to go down south and back home instead of lingering in Yunmeng. That’s about all the excitement I’ve had so far, I think.

Well, anyway, thank you for the twenty-one words you used in your reply. You have gotten quite adept at teasing me, haven’t you? Looking forward to how else you may surprise me next,

Wei Wuxian

***

Lan Zhan,

No, I don’t think Jiang Cheng fell off a cliff too. As much as you might wish for it to happen, he’s still my brother an important sect leader, you know! Anyway I already checked all the cliffs around the mountain before I received your letter so it couldn’t possibly be so.

Besides, I went to Lotus Pier earlier today – just to check on how things are going, you know, in case they need my help or something, nothing to do with Jiang Cheng. I just stayed outside the gates because I thought Jiang Cheng would probably descend from the heavens on a cloud and break my legs the moment I stepped foot into Lotus Pier, but some of the disciples spotted me and asked me what I was doing there. They said there have been people disappearing just outside Yunmeng, to the southwest and twenty li outside the main city, and when some of the Yunmeng Jiang cultivators went to investigate a few days ago some of them disappeared. So Jiang Cheng decided to take a few more of the Yunmeng Jiang disciples and investigate himself.

Since I have some free time, I’ve decided to help them out. They’ve been gone for four days already – the beast must truly be a handful indeed. It might be fun to go and help, although I think Jiang Cheng might spontaneously explode when he sees my face. Well, maybe the explosion will end up killing the monster, who knows.

It’s quite odd, though; some of the disciples who escaped even said they saw the spectre of Jin Guangyao, that wily old fox, hanging around the cave where they were attacked. Although of course that is impossible, for he is probably still trapped in Nie Mingjue’s coffin, fighting a battle till the end of time. Well, I guess I’ll see for myself if what they saw was true or not.

I had not known that you were capable of silk embroidery. Your skill is indeed fine – as expected of the esteemed Second Master Lan! I shall treasure your gift until the end of time. The cherry blossoms flowered today, and they made me think of you. I wonder if you still remember visiting Tanzhou with me when we were looking for the remaining pieces of the Yin metal? Was it your first time attending such a festival? You looked so surprised by the petals raining down on you then! I miss those times. 

I will write to you again tomorrow when I have rescued Jiang Cheng from the human-eating monster. I will make sure to give you a good account of his face when he sees me there to interfere with his night hunt, ha!

***

Dear Lan Wangji Hanguang-jun Mr Chief Cultivator Sir,

I am writing this letter to you because I know you to be a good friend of Wei Wuxian. Just today, I visited Lotus Pier and found that my uncle has been missing for a week, and Wei Wuxian with him for two of those days. They have apparently gone in pursuit of a human-eating monster twenty li southwest of the main city limits of Yunmeng. It must have been a fierce creature indeed to have ensnared both my uncle and Wei Wuxian

Unfortunately, as I am currently extremely and regrettably tied up in Lanling Jin sect matters, this humble person would like to humbly request for your help in locating and possibly rescuing them. Thank you.

Best regards, yours sincerely and most humbly,

Sect Leader Jin Ling, Lanling Jin sect

[16ruedelaverrerie]

The nonsensically recursive formatting now present in tumblr askbox messages is a bane for people who tend to let things pile up before getting to them, i.e. ME, IT IS A BANE FOR ME, but in this as in all things, we must make do. Anon I'm so happy that you enjoy that particular piece of art! ~Psycho-religious Catholic kink~ is a mainstay of the way that I exist in fandom, and it's a delight to have the two of us join hands as we skip through this apse. At this precise moment I'm physically running around a bit doing errands, but I will put it up on Twitter very soon, keep an eye out!

Truly, anon, I have never deserved a blessing such as you :'((((( First of all, you absolutely should not feel compelled to come up with any kind of reason for why you have not done a thing yet, when you would only do the thing at all out of the incredible goodness of your heart! You never had to put a well-organized comment together, and you never have to do it in the future! I know that I make a big whiny fuss out of how much I love comments -- and it's also true that part of why I put off answering this askbox message is because I needed to hang on to it in order to let it motivate me to meet my word counts as I wrote this last chapter of Fata Morgana (AND IT WORKED, I THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR MESSAGE AND I MET MY WORD COUNTS EVERY SINGLE DAY) -- but, like... If I understand anything, it is that a thing only becomes exponentially more stressful as you expect more and more out of it. Whatever it is that you want to say doesn't have to be huge, or magisterial in any way (though I'm certain that your thoughts are brilliant and thoughtful beyond anything I could offer in return)-- it's honestly just wild that you've already put so much of your time into staying with these stories!

Sorry that I've snuck your messages in behind the cut, but you know, it is very embarrassing to be unworthy. Thank you for KEEPING ME GOING, no hyperbole. Even though I think I tend to consume and enjoy fanworks about Gavin and Nines across a pretty wide range of interpretations, I am PAROCHIAL IN MY PRODUCED OUTPUT AND SOMEHOW ALWAYS END UP WRITING THEM INTO FAIRLY SIMILAR PSYCHOLOGICAL STANCES..................................... is it that I am a big fucking sap at heart... anyway what I mean to say is, I wish I had more range but mAYBE I DON'T WISH THAT AT ALL, if you enjoy what I am doing I'M JUST HAPPY TO BE HERE. As best as I can tell, the mysterious comment in your notes is probably in reference to the fact that OJ Simpson is mentioned multiple times in Fata Morgana for absolutely no reason at all, because "What? Yes. What? No." is precisely the reaction I had when I realized that I was incapable of steering A FICTIONAL CONVERSATION THAT I HAD COMPLETE CONTROL OVER away from the subject of, once again, just to stress the absurdity of this, OJ SIMPSON

I'm endlessly grateful for you. Thank you for writing this note v v v

Oh this is a public Food Network shindig cook-off, is it not? I have more respect for Gordon Ramsay than I do for a lot of other celebrity chefs (and to be honest, I love the restaurant industry so much that I love even the celebrity chefs I hate)-- and even if I too want Chef Gavin to do Les Mignardises proud in this battle, it's probably also true that he doesn't necessarily have the experience that Gordon Ramsay does in navigating spaces and occasions like these! BUT THAT HAVING BEEN SAID, I'm 100% fully convinced that what ends up happening is that right in the middle of this Iron Chef spin-off match-up, just as the tension and chaos in the kitchen are building towards the climactic final few minutes before the buzzer goes off, Gordon Ramsay happens to look up and sees, in the stands, Nines sitting with his arms crossed, glaring an absolutely MURDEROUS glare of daggers right into Gordon Ramsay's very soul. He doesn't rattle for nothing, Gordon Ramsay, but... in that moment, he knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that this android is ready and willing to leap down from the audience and throttle him to death on tape, and he is TERRIFIED. He burns a gratin, fails to plate one of his courses, and narrowly loses the competition.

"Nines!" Gavin yells, leaping into his arms. "We did it!"

"Yes, Chef," says Nines. "Congratulations." Over Gavin's head, his eyes meet Gordon Ramsay's from across the kitchen. Today, he says without a word, you walk away with your life.

WHAT A PROMISING YET OMINOUS MESSAGE, ANON... OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN NEVER ASKED FOR THIS

[justanotherexlover]

Anonymous said:

Can you please make another chapter of "The Metal Clan" the first one is so good and I was so happy to see a Lin x reader!

Anonymous said:

when are you gonna update the metal clan?

The Metal Clan (2/3) (Lin Beifong x Reader)

Warnings: Angst, language

Word count: 2,900+

Notes: Apologies for the title formatting, I’m without a computer and Tumblr mobile sucks. I’ll fix it when I get a chance!

You watched as Lin and Suyin went back and forth once Korra confronted Lin, and you felt like your head was spinning. You’d seen Lin upset before, but she seemed utterly impossible to reason with at this moment.

“You’re the one who tore our family apart,” Lin said, pointing a finger at her sister.

“Yeah, and you’ve done a bang-up job of keeping it that way!” Su shot back, looking every bit as fierce.

“Shut up!” You exclaimed, looking at both of them. Your wife looked shocked, and Suyin seemed slightly smug as you continued, your words aimed at your wife, “Let it go. For now, at least. We came here with a goal in mind.”

“Thank you,” Suyin asid politely, raising her eyebrows at her sister, then turning to Korra, “My daughter is thrilled to meet you.”

“Your niece--our niece--is the new Airbender,” You told Lin, sending her a look of warning to be nice.

“Terrific,” Lin said, not bothering to hide the sarcasm in her voice.

You glared at her, and Bolin leaned over to whisper to you, “Trouble in paradise?”

“Shut up Bolin,” You muttered.

---

You basically had to drag Lin out of the airship. Even though she’d been found out, she didn’t see the point in going around Zafou. You insisted, however, and she gave in eventually(although still grumbled about it).

“Those are my two youngest, Wei and Wing. They’re playing a game called power disc. They invented it all on their own,” Su said, her voice thick with pride for her twin sons.

A metal disk was being hit back and forth between the brothers, and hitting metal posts in the middle. You weren’t sure if you entirely understood the rules, but it looked like they were having fun.

They twins were both very talented benders, and you glanced at your wife to see if she noticed. Lin seemed so cold and apathetic, and it was beginning to bother you more and more with each passing moment. You knew bits and pieces of what had happened between her and her sister--how Su had left home at 16 after a fight, leaving their family essentially in pieces.

But what could she have done that would justify this behavior?

“I’m so proud of them,” Suyin said, her hands clasped together. She had a small smile on her face.

“You should be,” You spoke up, smiling at her. She placed one hand over her heart, looking bashful.

The team walked on, and you could hear Korra and Asami marveling over the metalwork of the mansion. It was a sight to behold, for sure.

You fell a little behind the group to stand next to Lin, and you looked at her, “You could at least pretend to care.”

She glanced at you, her face stiff, “Why would I do that?”

You let out a scoff. Lin had always been an opinionated woman, and you loved her for that, but you had never seen her so uncaring before. You wanted to ask her for an explanation, but knew that now wasn’t the time.

Your attention was soon taken by the sound of metal creaking and you searched for the source of the noise, your eyes landing on a man who was frowning at a statute he was attempting to bend.

“Huan, I want you to meet the Avatar and her friends,” Suyin said brightly, gesturing to the group, “And your Aunt Lin and her partner, your Aunt (y/n).”

It felt weird to be referred to as someone’s aunt, since before today you didn’t even know that Suyin had children. But a feeling of fondness spread through you, feeling fully embraced by Su.

“Nice to meet you,” Korra said.

“Hey,” Huan said, not looking away from his statue. He, like Lin, didn’t seem to care much about what was going on. You wondered if Lin had the introspection to see that Huan was similar to her, but again, she wasn’t even paying attention.

“Wow, that’s a really nice…” Bolin started, squinting at the statute. He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck, and his answer sounded more like a question, “Banana?”

You snorted, and Huan turned around and angrily exclaimed, “It’s not a banana! I was inspired by Harmonic Convergence. It represents the dawning of a new age, obviously.”

Bolin seemed embarrassed, but was squinting at the statue in an attempt to see what Huan was talking about. You figured you should probably help him out.

“Each side is supposed to be the opposite ends of Harmonic Convergence, right? And the middle piece rises above both, which is the new age dawning,” You guessed, and he turned toward you, an eyebrow raised.

“Yeah,” Huan said, his voice never straying from its monotone state as he pursed his lips, “Finally someone with an artistic eye.”

You smiled at him, and noticed Suyin give you an appreciative smile as you moved closer to her as the group began walking again. Bolin was rambling on about understanding the artwork, and attempting to make a frame with his hands from which to view it. So much for your attempts at helping him out.

“Nice job,” Suyin said, smiling at you, “Huan is such a great artist, but to be honest I don’t understand his art until he explains it most of the time.”

You waved her off, flushing slightly, “It seemed obvious, I suppose.”

“Nonsense. You have the eye of an artist,” She praised you, and you noticed Lin’s shoulders set in the back of the group. She was obviously listening in on the conversation.

You began walking up the stairs with Lin, each step making a slight creaking noise, “I didn’t get to say it before, Zafou is absolutely beautiful. I’ve always wanted to visit, but… It’s more than I could’ve imagined.”

Now it was Su’s turn to blush, and she spread her arms in front of herself, “It’s my pride and joy, after my husband and children, of course… I wish you two would’ve visited sooner.

“Me too,” You said quietly, “It hasn’t been for lack of trying on my part.”

Su hummed, nodding in understanding, “I know how stubborn my sister can be. But at least you’re here now.”

Suyin was nothing like what Lin had described her as--your wife had said she was selfish and irresponsible, but the woman next to you seemed smart and kind. She’d changed a lot over the last 30 years it seemed, but Lin didn’t want to see that.

You arrived at the top of the stairs and followed Suyin as she walked up to a sweet looking girl and began speaking, “This is my daughter Opal.”

Upon hearing her name, the girl looked over and closed her book, her eyes instantly landing on Korra as she said, “Wow, Avatar Korra. I can’t believe you’re really here. You’re amazing.”

Opal had a soft voice and a delicate demeanor, and you were sure that she would do well as an Airbender.

“It’s great to meet you, Opal,” Korra said kindly.

“Opal? That’s a beautiful name,” Bolin said, holding out his hand. She smiled bashfully and pushed her hair behind her ear. You raised your eyebrow, watching the exchange carefully.

“Thanks,” She said.

“I’m Bolin,” He introduced himself, and she shook his hand.

“Opal,” She responded instantly. A blush took over her face, and you smiled as she rushed to recover, “But, uh, you already knew that.”

Lin walked over to you, and you hoped that Lin saw how sweet her niece was and would feel more sociable. But instead she said, “Great, we found the Airbender. Let’s take her back to the airship and get out of here.”

You rolled your eyes, giving her a scathing look. She ignored it easily.

“And the woman apparently trying to abduct you is your Aunt Lin, and her spouse (y/n),” Suyin explained to her daughter, slightly amused.

Opal looked between you and Lin, and a large smile come onto her face, “Really? I didn’t know Aunt Lin was married. I’ve always wanted to meet you!”

Lin’s face didn’t change, but you reached forward and took Opal’s hand, “It’s great to meet you, Opal. You seem like a nice girl.”

She blushed again, and said, “Thank you.” After shaking your hand, Opal turned her attention to Lin and said, “My mom’s told me so many stories about you.”

“I’m sure she has,” Lin said coldly, crossing her arms. Opal’s face fell, and you looked at her apologetically. Regardless of Lin’s feelings towards her sister, she had no right to speak to Opal that way.

Suyin, thankfully, moved past the tension with ease, “So I’ve set all of you up in the guest houses while Korra trains Opal.”

“Oh…” Korra started, sounding slightly unsure, “I’m sorry, but I was hoping that Opal could train with the rest of the airbenders at the Northern Air Temple.”

“That sounds amazing,” Opal said dreamily, clasping her hands together. She was such a sweet girl, and you found it funny considering that most Beifong women were known for being harsh.

“Nonsense,” Suyin said, and her daughter’s face fell as she continued, “This is where Opal’s home and family are. You can train her here.”

“I guess I could help her get started,” Korra said, shrugging.

You wanted to point out that Opal obviously wanted to train at the temple, but Lin was already speaking.

“Absolutely not. We’re leaving,” She said, leaving no room for argument.

“I have to agree with Lin,” You said, and Suyin seemed surprised as you added, “There are assassins after Korra, and even then… I think it would be nice for Opal to be around other airbenders.”

You wanted to stay in Zaofu, but even you could recognize that it would be safer to leave and keep moving.

“If you’re concerned about safety, don’t be. This is the safest city in the world,” Suyin said confidently. She then went on to invite you and everyone else to dinner, but your eyes were on Lin the whole time.

-

“Five kids, what a nightmare,” Lin said when Suyin introduced her oldest, and you kicked her shin under the table. She sent you a scathing look, but you ignored it and just rolled your eyes.

“No, no, my children are a blessing,” Suyin said graciously, bowing her head. You smiled at her.

“Yeah, mom used to say that too but she never meant it,” Lin shot back. You looked down at your plate, suddenly feeling very awkward and out of place.

You reached a hand forward to brush Lin’s hand, but she pulled away, crossing her arms. You tried to hide the hurt expression on your face, but Suyin noticed and sent you a sympathetic look.

Lin made a few more comments to her sister, but you largely ignored them, feeling overwhelmed with trying to reign in Lin’s attitude.

Most of the conversation was lost on you(you even ignored Varrick’s arrival, deciding that you had too much on your plate to deal with him), as you contemplated what could’ve happened between Lin and Suyin.

Suyin left home at 16, which would’ve made Lin not much older at just 22. But she was definitely an officer by then, so maybe it was some encounter there?

Or maybe Lin was upset that her sister didn’t want to become an officer? Or did Toph favor Suyin? You didn’t know much about Lin’s mother and had never met her, but nothing you knew from Lin was positive.

Your mind was reeling with possibilities and it was starting to make you feel on edge. It was made worse when the sound of a chair being thrown back caught you off guard, and you jumped.

“All right, enough!” Lin yelled, throwing up her arms, “I’m trying to keep the Avatar safe and you’re harboring a criminal?”

Your eyes widened at your wife’s outburst, and you thought about intervening but decided not yet.

“Ease up, Lin,” Suyin said, “Sure, Varrick’s made a few mistakes in his past, but that doesn’t mean he should pay for it the rest of his life. My chef was a pirate but now he’s a culinary master. People change.”

“You haven’t!” Lin yelled, pointing at her sister. She looked like she wanted to say more but you interrupted her.

“That’s enough,” You said, your voice level. Your hands were in fists at your sides, and you felt utterly humiliated. Lin turned to look at you, and you held her gaze steadily.

She growled and stomped off, slamming the door shut behind her.

“I’m sorry,” You said, feeling your lip begin to tremble. You needed to get out of here, now, and take some time to think. You stood up and followed your wife’s path, ignoring the calls to come back.

-

After a little while wandering through Huan’s statue garden, you decided to return to your room. You’d managed to mostly calm yourself, but you were beginning to wonder if maybe there was a lot more to the story than you thought.

You knocked hesitantly, then opened the door to the guest room you two were sharing.

Lin was sitting in a chair reading a newspaper, wearing just her pants and typical white tank top.

You walked forward and put a hand on her arm and gently said, “Look, we won’t be here for more than a few days… Even then, I want to be here. I wish you did too.”

Lin looked at you, her eyes narrowed. If you were anyone else then you would’ve likely been intimidated, but after being with her for so long you could read her like a book.

“Doesn’t what I want matter?” She asked, her tone venomous. You reeled back, holding a hand in front of yourself defensively.

“Of course it does!” You exclaimed defensively, and she rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, sure, that’s why you keep sucking up to my sister,” She muttered, turning away from you.

“I…” You trailed off, your mind beginning to cloud with anger, “I am not! I’m trying to get my wife’s family to like me, so what? It’s normal!”

“But they aren’t my family!” She responded, looking fierce, “You are! I made that decision a long time ago.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but closed it again. What she said was touching, and it made you hesitate to argue with her any longer.

“Lin…” You trailed off, looking at her. It seemed like she hadn’t meant to reveal that so readily, but she was holding her head high. You raised a hand to her face, caressing her scarred cheek softly, “I just want you to talk to me. Explain why you feel like this.”

She looked at you with narrowed eyes, but still leaned into your touch, obviously finding comfort in it. Lin seemed to be thinking of the right words when someone knocked on the door.

“Who is it?” Lin asked loudly, and you pulled away, looking at the door as it opened.

“Hey, it’s me” Korra said, peeking her head in. She glanced at your wife, then you, and you shook your head, trying to tell her that it wasn’t a good time. Your warning went ignored as she continued, “I brought someone who wants to talk to you.”

Korra opened the door wider to reveal Opal, who you offered a soft smile too. She seemed nervous.

“You wanna talk, then talk,” Lin said, sitting back and crossing her arms. You stood next to her, one hand on her shoulder.

Opal stepped forward and took a breath, then began speaking as if she’d practiced, “I’m sorry being here is hard for you.”

She walked forward, and you stepped back, watching the situation carefully as Opal kept going, “When you showed up, I was so excited to get to know you. I’d heard so many grea things about you from mom and Grandma Toph. So… I guess I was kind of sad that you didn’t want to get to know me… Believe me, I know my family can be a little crazy and overwhelming sometimes, but I would love it so much if you and (y/n) would be a part of it.”

Opal casted you a glanced towards the end, her hands clasped together. She sounded so sincere and sweet. You wanted to hug her, but decided to wait to see what Lin said.

“Get out,” Lin said quietly.

“I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?” Opal asked, her voice quaking.

“Get out!” Lin yelled. Opal’s eye filled with tears and you reached forward to try to comfort her, but she turned and ran out of the room crying. Korra followed her.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You asked, stepping forward to glare at your wife, “Opal is your niece, and a sweet girl who didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Maybe you should reconsider whose side you’re on!” Lin yelled back, and you threw your hands up in exasperation.

“There are no sides, Lin!” You yelled, finally fully losing your cool. You pointed a finger at your wife, “You’ve been nothing but rude since we got here, and I would stand by your side if I knew why! But you’re so closed off that I can’t seem to understand you.”

Lin turned away, brushing you off. You scoffed, feeling your rage pushing you forward.

“You know what? Fine. You wanna be alone, then be alone. I’m leaving,” You said, turning on your heel and walking out the door. You didn’t know where you were gonna go, but you were sure that Su could find space for you somewhere.

[love-loser]

midnight ( hawks / f.reader )

surprised my first fic isn’t too yandere but here it is, adapted from an old slash fic i wrote a long time ago for a friend, based off cardlin audio’s asmr video about cinderella. feedback is much appreciated! praying to GOD tumblr doesnt mess up formatting pls pls pls, also lmk if there are any typos i missed! masterlist

2.9k words ↬ “There hasn’t been a ball this month where I couldn’t find you out here by yourself,” Keigo says, forlorn, “The when was easy… hm, as the night grew darker, sure enough, I’d find you here, beneath the moon, and all her stars. No… for you, it was always the other questions that bothered me. Who are you, mysterious girl, who bewitched me so? Why do you stand out like… like a rose among a field of daisies? How do you manage to get me to speak in such pine?”

“Stare as long as you wish, my dear, at all the stars the heavens have to offer, I promise you will not find one that shines quite as bright as you.”

The sudden words have you stiff, before you turn your head away from the view of the expansive front yard of the palace to rest your eyes on the unexpected visitor. The shock you feel when you see it’s the one specific royal that you’ve been pining over for months has you completely frozen.

For a moment, you think maybe the prince is drunk, or has you mistaken for someone else, or even both, but the next litany of words (you’d never imagined the prince’s voice to drawl so nicely when speaking to you of all people) prove both those assumptions to be wrong. 

“I’m sorry, your highness, you must have-”

“My apologies. I did not mean to scare you,” The prince, Keigo Takami, takes a step closer, then another, until he’s leaning on the balcony railing alongside you, close enough for you to feel the ghost of his body heat. “I had a feeling you would be out here on the balcony easel,” Before you can question just what the prince wants to do with you, or even how he knows you, he continues on, “How did I know?” 

A small chuckle, then a sigh.

“Why, there hasn’t been a ball this month where I couldn’t find you out here by yourself,” Keigo says, forlorn, “The when was easy… hm, as the night grew darker, sure enough, I’d find you here, beneath the moon, and all her stars. No… for you, it was always the other questions that bothered me. Who are you, mysterious girl, who bewitched me so? Why do you stand out like… like a rose among a field of daisies? How do you manage to get me to speak in such pine?”

A pause tells you that yes, you can reply.

“Your highness, I am only a mere civilian.” You’re too shy to spare a glance towards the next king of your country, so you settle for staring off into the comforting sky, “You must be mistaken. I am only here, after all, to grant the wishes of my… godmother.”

How ironic, that your words were really more truthful when spoken the other way around. After all, it was your wish to attend the balls, granted by a certain (fairy) godmother. 

“But not a single woman back in that ballroom can garner even a peck of my attention, no matter how desperately they may try, and… perhaps, most importantly of all, where do you run off to every night, as the clock strikes midnight? You look surprised. Did you think I didn’t notice how you excuse yourself at the exact same time during every ball?”

“I-I’m sorry, Prince, but I do think you’ve the wrong person.” you fluster, peeling yourself from the stone railing and making for the double doors behind them. What you don’t expect, though, is Keigo’s handsome features suddenly coming into view. The sight sends you into a fit of stuttering heartbeats and bated breath, and you can’t help but flick your eyes to a space just above the prince’s right shoulder. you feel steady hands come up to rest on your waist, just on the delicate, slight curve of hips, too tight to be called gentle. 

“I assure you, I notice a lot more about you than you might expect.” Keigo sighs, seemingly perplexed, “No matter. I will find out soon enough.”

“What do you mean by that, your highness?” You were already in a compromising position, and the last thing you wanted was for the prince to throw you in a dungeon because of your previously assumed well hidden affections for the royal figure.

“Hm? Oh, I didn’t mean anything by it. It was nothing more than the prattling of one who considers himself to be your biggest fan,” for the first time that night, Keigo gives you a warm little smile, an expression you never thought you’d be on the receiving end of, “Well, I would think it’s your turn to humour me a bit, wouldn’t you say? I’ve been craving the soft lilt of your voice since two nights ago.” 

“Well… What is there to admire?”

“What is there to admire? Why, my beautiful you, what isn’t there to admire? That… faraway look in your eye when you gaze out over the city each night, the way you move with a grace unlike any lady in this court, not quite floral, but fluid and vibrant in a way that is all your own,”

You can feel a warm rosiness settle onto your cheeks at the words, the heat on your skin battling the cool night air. Keigo is so close, you’re almost afraid the prince can feel you overheat. “And what about that forlorn touch to your smile that turns even the most candid of our moments together… bittersweet, as if you knew it wouldn’t last?”

“You are making a hassle over nothing, my prince,” You try to deny, shaking your head and wiggling out of his grip, or at least trying to.

“I admit, at first I thought you were intimidated by my station,” Keigo laughs, almost in disbelief, “The bachelor prince sought by every eligible lady in the kingdom. Who would he choose? Of course, even I am aware of such titles in my name.”

“But, no, there is more to it than that… You don’t fear that I may be too much for you. If I may be so bold, I think the sorrow and your sigh is that you know… I’m just right for you. And yet, you cannot have me.” 

You turn your head, feeling a breeze dancing along the strands of your hair, and the folds of your clothes. There’s a certain stinging on all your nerve endings, and it all pumps back to your heart, where you feel pain and longing course through your veins.

“Nonsense. Your highness, surely, the crowd is waiting for your presence. Leave me be and go tend to your guests.”

“Something tells me the answer to that riddle lies within the reason you dash off every night as the clock turns over,” Keigo continues, unaffected by the denial and stepping forward to brace you against the railing with his arms and body, “You are the only guest I care about… And yet, I don’t even know your name.”

“(y/n),” you answer, shrinking back. The prince had a way with his words and mannerisms that just made you feel that much smaller in his demanding and touchy disposition. 

“(y/n)… Though we’ve talked like this at every one of these balls so far, trading wits and flirtations as duelists trade blows, I find myself walking away each time somehow knowing… even less of you. But I’ve got a feeling, then, I’ll have all the answers soon.”

“What-”

“What makes me say that? Call it a lucky guess.” Keigo looks over, past you, before uttering a mutter, “Why, would you look at the time? Is it that it struck early? Or is it that time flies when you’re having fun?”

“Already, my prince? I-I’m so sorry, I really must be going,” you sucked in a nervous breath through your teeth, eyes showing just a hint of panic at the thought of revealing what would really happen once time was up.

“No, I know, the time has come and you must leave me. How did the bard put it? Parting is always such sweet sorrow. Farewell, (y/n), I’ll see you soon.”

And like that, you felt the warmth radiating from the prince taken away as quickly as it came. The bite of the cold night air snaps at you almost immediately.

“Yes, ah, I’ll see you soon.” You knew, though, that you’d let the encounters go too far and swore to your wavering self that this would be the last one. You stepped past the prince, tried the cold knob, once, twice, before giving it a hard jiggle in a sad attempt at escape.

“Are the doors locked? But… however could that be? Why would that happen? Could it be a faulty lock or… is it instead that they were locked on purpose? Perhaps by a, curious prince, made impatient by the constant abandonment. He endured whenever the girl of his dreams would whisk herself away from him every night. Imagine the agony beyond power of speech and frustration when this vixen, this succubus stalks his vision at night and his thoughts every day.”

Your heart quickens, finding your once again pliant in the prince’s hands, “Imagine, how maddening that must be to have something taken away from you again , and again … just when  you’re finally about to,” Keigo leans in, warm, minty breath kissing your lips, “Get a taste of it. Yes, my dear, I did lock those doors, and now, my sweetness, I can’t let you leave.”

“But believe me, when I say that if you felt for me the way I feel for you, you wouldn’t let yourself leave either. You’ve a secret, do you? One you need to tell me? Well, I have a secret of my own, in fact. I have several, the first of which is that there is a hidden passageway, not easily seen from the balcony… and that, of course, is by intention.”

Keigo drew back the slightest bit, reaching up to pull a particular curtain draw- one that didn’t differ much from the other braided ones to Taehyung’s untrained eyes. A loud clack had you flinching, before you turn and a wooden ladder makes itself known. 

“Follow it up, and it leads to my room. Come with me now, and we’ll… share our secrets.” You just about lunge for the base of the ladder, just a bit breathless.

“I really should be taking my leave, Prince.”

“Well, well, suddenly, aren’t you in a hurry, hm? Let me lead the way.” Keigo takes the first step, all too experienced as he climbed up the ladder. You found it hard not to look down, considering they were on the second floor and scaling between balconies.

By the time Keigo is off and you are just about to make it, the prince offers a hand, and takes your hand in his, clasping it gently and loosely.

“You know, it’s odd... I never let anyone up these stairs, let alone a stranger.” Keigo muses, “First you managed to get me talking and now you managed to get me to reveal some of my deepest secrets. Remind me to get my revenge. Oh, I’m not- my god, your clothes!”

Oh. So that’s what happens when you stay out too late. Out of all the possibilities, you had to end up naked in front of your longtime love.

“What has happened to you? Your clothing seems to be ripping to tatters more and more with each passing moment- Here, take my coat,” you appreciate how fast the prince sheds his outerwear, and you graciously accept for once, happy that the only other living thing in the hallway to witness this debacle is the poor potted plant in the corner.

A turn of a key, the click of a lock, you poking his head out and then getting flustered when he sees Keigo smiling fondly at the gesture. Yes, a very normal day for a common person like yourself.

They’re out of the hallway and Keigo is sneaking you into his room, a stark change in tone from the sultry air of the younger night.

//

“Here we are now. Now, sit down on my bed. Wait here. I’ll find you some proper clothing. While I admit that I have dreamt quite often as of late of having you in my room, it wasn’t like this. It wasn’t meant to be… perfect. It was meant to be… right . I’ll return shortly with some clothes. No- stay. I promise you, I won’t be long-”

Though flustered and a tiny bit flattered at the lewd admission, you stood, far too uncomfortable to stay alone in the prince’s room, naked. “Please, let me, prince.”

“Ah, alright, if you insist. The blankets do look good on you, yes. Well, here we are,” It’s a short walk to his expansive closet, and you find yourself in a shirt that’s just a little too loose that feels like heaven on your humble skin. 

“My prince… I think I am ready to tell you about myself,” You admit, playing with the sleeves of the soft, fabric shirt, “If-If you’re willing to hear, of course.”

“I would give nothing more to hear anything you wish to tell me,” Keigo pulled you to a seat on the bed, your thighs touching, shoulders brushing.

“Well, I… I come from a wealthy family, though they are not kind to me. My stepmom, she runs a fabric shop, along with my two step sisters-”

“You- what? That old widow… but she only has two daughters… Everyone knows her husband and her stepdaughter died in that tragic accident, which as, sorrowful as it was, might have been a welcome escape from that frigid woman.”

“Well, yes, but I am here… I was kept as a maid all this time, and haven’t known many amenities in my life thus far,” you look up from his hands, which are nestled between the soft lines of your thighs, “But it could be worse, so I do not complain.”

“But, if you’re her stepdaughter, then… you’re the rightful heir to your father’s estate… But that does not explain how you came to wear such… niceties if you were kept as a maid.”

“A fairy godmother answered my pleads, as irrational as it may sound…” you gathered up the last ounce of courage you had, and looked into the prince’s understanding, sharp eyes, “I understand if you don’t believe me, Prince.”

“Of course I do, my love,” Keigo cupped your cheek, thumbing at the soft skin, “Please, call me Keigo, or any variation of that as you wish.”

“And how about yours, then… Keigo?” You tried, experimentally. Though foreign, the name was not completely unwelcome on your tongue.

The man smiled, humming at the sound of his own name, before nodding, “My secret? After all of that, you still wish to hear mine? Well, I suppose you’ve earned it, and how can I deny the wish of an angel lying in my sheets?”

 “All right, in retrospect, my secret isn’t quite as elaborate or cunning, nor as thrilling or shocking, in face, if you’ve been watching my eyes and reading between the lines of my words, dear, I’m sure you must already know my secret…”

A heavy pause, before he sighs and finishes, “Is that, I’m in love with you. I teased myself with the idea after the first night, toyed with it the second… fought with it the third and came to accept it on the fourth. And ever since then, I found myself madly, wholey, and helplessly in love with you.”

“But you must know that, right? You must feel it in your heart as I do, resonating ceaselessly since the moment we met. I love you, because you are beautiful, in mind, action and appearance. Or, are you beautiful because I love you? I do not know.”

You bit your lip, leaning into the man’s touch and shifting closer to fit snugly in his side, “(y/n)... You… You don’t have to go back, you know. The clock is struck midnight, but you’re still here. Surely, that has to mean something. You can leave that life behind. No more scullery and cinder sweeping.”

“Instead, you have opulence and wealth- every extravagance you could want, ever delicacy, but crave every possible pleasure you could ever long for. Say a word, and it’s yours- give all of you to me, let yourself be mine, no one else’s, and it’s yours, (y/n). And in return, I will also give myself to you.”

“Y-Your highness, I- I can’t possibly,” you turned your head away, at a loss for words. If the title bothers him, he doesn’t show it.

“You could spend the rest of your life swaddled and pampered, appreciated and adored, loved by the kingdom, and worshipped by your prince. But… That’s not all you want, is it? No, I can tell now. Seething within you, there’s a desire for something, more than just comforts. You have a darkness in your heart, a heavy stain left by the indelible touch of that wretched stepmother of yours. Have they healed? Can they ever?”

“Whatever she and her have done to you, I promise you, we can return upon them tenfold. My word is law, and if you would be mine, then you would have my word to wield like a sword. I will be your knight, and all of the kingdom’s strength shall be my power, all of this can be yours. The wealth, the power, the prestige, and the vindication, and in exchange, I would ask you but for one simple thing- you. All of you.” 

“If you say yes, you will be mine until eternity ends, and we can rule this kingdom together- happily ever after. We will seal our vows here now on this very bed and I promise to make you long only for more of my touch, to erase the thought of anyone else from your head. If you say no, I will leave your clothes on the bar of the doors, and you can return to your life of injustice. Let’s say, my dear, what life will you choose?” In hindsight, maybe you should’ve known he wouldn’t let you have much of a choice anyway.

[eigwayne]

A Little Spoiled (ChengQing fic)

Chapter 2 of 4: Advice from Aunty, and a Date Some advice from one of her aunties and Granny Wen convinces Wen Qing to keep her secret rendez-vous with Jiang Wanyin. He's alternately sweet and domineering and shy and infuriating, and Wen Qing wants him anyway. But first, she tells him some things he needed to hear (just... not about his core...).

Chapter 1 on Tumblr | AO3 links: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Author’s Notes: I forgot to mention on chapter 1: I'm using more romanized titles, like "gongzi", than translations like “Young Master”. If anyone needs a glossary, please check references like this. Also this fic is very closely from Wen Qing's POV, so all we'll see of Jiang Cheng's thoughts for now will be parenthetical inserts. 

I ended up rewriting a lot of the inn scene, which is why this took two weeks to update instead of the two days I originally planned. As a result, I think the chapter quality and length are a bit better, and I touched on a couple more things I think they would need to air between them (no, no golden core reveal in this fic, although it's never that far from Wen Qing's mind and hopefully that will come across at some points before the fic ends). The smut will have to wait until chapter three. I've joked about this porn developing plot on my Tumblr but that's exactly what happened.

The message technique Wen Qing uses to contact Uncle Four from the inn is supposed to be the one she used in the drama to contact Wen Ruohan. I noticed it was three lines of three characters, written in fire in the air, and couldn't get the image/format out of my head (the symmetry was beautiful). No, I have no idea what Jiang Cheng uses and the methodology wasn't relevant to the story, so please imagine what you wish.

Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng butt heads a little in this chapter and there's a couple moments of jealousy from both of them, and Jiang Cheng grabs Wen Qing's arm at one point, if you're sensitive to those sorts of things. This isn't a smooth relationship (there's so much baggage between them!) and I had to get some things out of the way. The rest of the physical contact is welcome, I just wanted to give a heads-up just in case. 

And now for the actual chapter:

“You look worried,” Granny said as she sat next to Wen Qing. Wei Wuxian had left his inventing for a bit and A-Yuan was focused on getting him to dance, which gave his other caretakers a moment of peace.

“Not worried,” Wen Qing clarified. “Just… thinking something over.” Her rendez-vous with Jiang Wanyin was in four days, and she’d found three pieces of silver that definitely weren’t hers in the hair ribbons he’d bought the week before. She couldn’t repay this, and he had strongly hinted that he intended to buy her more when they met again. He’d also strongly hinted that he wanted to continue the passionate kisses they’d shared under the tree, and she should be wary of that as well.

And yet, she’d spent time and spiritual energy the last few days, enlarging her qiankun pouch’s inside despite coming up with all sorts of arguments why she shouldn’t accept anything from him. She thought of the way the furrow between his brow eased when he was being sweet and how his lips parted when he was pleased. She thought of his arms and his kisses and the feel of his chest under her hands, and how those thoughts replaced all her other fantasies when she was alone at night.

But now, in the afternoon under the hazy Burial Mounds sun, Granny just smiled and patted her hand. “I’m sure you’ll come up with a good solution.” She was going to leave it at that. She did that more often now that Wen Qing was an adult. The difference in their status under Wen Ruohan was deeply ingrained; Wen Qing may be younger, but she and Wen Ning were the closest relations to the old leaders of the sect, the strongest cultivators. If not for Wei Wuxian, they would be the leaders of the community in name as well as function.

It was a bit lonely, at times. Wen Qing decided to speak up. “I could use an ear, Granny.”

“Of course, Qing-guniang.”

Wen Qing watched A-Yuan for a moment as he yanked Wei Wuxian around in a circle, playing some sort of spinning game. “That day in Yiling, when I came back with the baozi,” she started, “I was invited out again. I’m not sure I should accept.”

“Whyever not?”

“I’m sure you can guess.”

“I’m sure I could, but, Qing-guniang, I want to know why you’re hesitating.”

“Granny, please. We’re hunted people, living on a cursed mountain. Is that not reason enough?” Wen Qing poked at the radishes she’d been weeding. “You know I’m not the sort to caper around town when there’s work to be done.”

“I know that, Qing-guniang. But it’s all right to be a little spoiled, sometimes.”

Wen Qing blinked at her. “Granny?”

“You work hard for us. We all see it. We’re not going to begrudge you a day in town. And you deserve a chance to step out with a special friend-“

“It’s not like that,” Wen Qing cut her off. “He was kind to me, and invited me out to lunch.”

“Who did?” one of the aunties said as she plunked down next to Granny. “Does our Qing-guniang have a gentleman friend?!”

“Absolutely not! And keep your voice down. The last thing I need is Wei Wuxian to overhear this nonsense.” Wen Qing huffed and yanked up a weed like it offended her personally. Wei Wuxian would certainly remember that she’d seen his sect brother that day, and might connect the dots. She did not want to deal with that at all. He’d pestered her enough already.

“Don’t be like that! We’d be overjoyed if you had a sweetheart,” Aunty assured her. “You’re young and lovely, now’s the time to have a flirtation or three!”

“She’s worried about being spoiled,” Granny said solemnly.

“She should absolutely let herself be spoiled some! Right?” Aunty and Granny nodded at each other. “Who knows, you could make a good connection. If it gets you off this mountain-“

“I’m not getting off the mountain without the rest of you,” Wen Qing snapped. “He was kind enough to buy A-Yuan those baozi and I want to say thank you properly. And I have other friends just two towns over.”

The line about friends was complete falsehood and she felt terrible about it, but the conversation was getting out of hand. How dare they suggest she leave them behind!

“Fine, fine,” Aunty said, waving her hands. “But I still think you could stand to be a little selfish once in a while.”

“We’ll be all right for a day,” Granny assured her. Wen Qing frowned, but Wei Wuxian was looking a bit green from his spinning game with A-Yuan (really! Sometimes it was like having two toddlers), so she had bigger things to worry about.

~*~

And that was how she found herself walking side by side with Jiang Wanyin in the marketplace of trading town on the outskirts of Yunmeng territory. She was wearing an outfit he’d bought her so they would look more like normal people- not in red, but a pastel pink-orange, feminine and flowy and inoffensive. Her clothes from the Burial Mounds were stuffed in her qiankun pouch and she would have to change back into them eventually, but for now, she was enjoying the feel of soft, expensive clothes again, even if she did barely recognize herself in the dainty lady she saw in the mirror.

Jiang Wanyin had dressed down, just a little, and wore more blue than purple. With Sandu and his clarity bell tucked in his qiankun pouch, the only mark of his status was Zidian, which he would not part with.

“I’m not ashamed of who I am, just so we’re clear,” he told her in a low voice. “But I thought I should dress differently, as well.”

“I didn’t say anything,” she said.

“You didn’t have to.”

Despite his sullen words, his posture was as relaxed as she’d ever seen it. He walked close to her, and every once in a while his knuckles would brush her arm. Wen Qing wasn’t used to this closeness. Sure, she hugged A-Yuan and A-Ning as often as she could, although A-Ning was a grown man now so it wasn’t that often. But there was a normal, respectful distance between everyone else and she wasn’t used to hovering.

It was handy, though. When she stopped to admire something in the marketplace, he was right there with the silver to pay for it. All she had to do was indicate if she wanted it enough to buy. She was still frugal, but so far, she had half-filled her qiankun pouch, all of it for her family. Even the single book she got for herself was practical, a light volume on pediatric medicine so she could keep up with her practice and take care of A-Yuan.

“You can get something for yourself, you know,” Jiang Wanyin said at one point. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed what you’re spending my money on.”

“I have to take care of everyone.”

“What about taking care of yourself?”

Wen Qing stopped and looked at him, stopping just short of a glare. “I have never just ‘taken care of myself’,” she said. “There is always someone who relies on me. Many someones. I’m sure a sect leader understands.”

Jiang Wanyin glared back at her and said, “Of course I do. But if you want something for yourself, say it.” And like he did so often during the day, he pressed his lips into a thin line and glanced away from her, as if there was more he wanted to say but didn’t dare.

(He would never tell anyone, but he was thinking that a beautiful lady like Wen Qing should have everything he could give her, like Jin Zixuan gave Jiang Yanli, and he was appalled at himself for taking the Peacock as his role model in romance. Such traitorous thoughts! He would never live it down if Wei Wuxian found out.)

His offer was generous and it made Wen Qing wary of those unsaid words. People who were this giving always wanted something in return, and she already knew he wanted her and only her. But her family needed things and he wasn’t terrible company, overall, sometimes. And she wasn’t completely adverse to his kisses. Just… cautious.

That was why she allowed the hand brushing her arm, and how he came in close when they looked at wares together. She allowed it when he put a hand on her back at the hairpin stall and leaned closer to whisper in her ear.

“You turned down the earrings,” he said with a pout (not that she would call it that to his face). “You could at least take this hairpin.”

“You do know that I won’t keep jewelry? I can’t. The price that would fetch will clothe A-Yuan for the entire winter.”

He scowled, but his expression surprisingly softened when she said A-Yuan’s name. “So be it,” he said. “I want to see you in it now.” And he bought it anyway.

(He was thinking of his sister, four months along at this point and barely showing. He thought of how Wen Yuan had once been that tiny and it really wasn’t so bad if an affectionate kid like him got warm clothes on account of his money. And he thought that if he could love one grown Wen already deemed complicit, he could learn to tolerate one child Wen who was surely innocent. But he said none of this, either, and Wen Qing would never know.)

Jiang Wanyin’s hands were gentle as he exchanged her simple hair ribbon for the silver piece he purchased, as if he was doing something normal and not scandalously romantic. The salesman merely smiled and held up a small mirror for her.

“I think you’ll be pleased, madam,” he said.

“I am,” she admitted. “Thank you, Jia-“ She paused, uncertain of how to address Jiang Wanyin. Was he trying to actively hide his identity? They weren’t in Yunmeng itself but it was still in his territory and ‘Jiang-zongzhu’ would be too telling. But she wasn’t close enough to call him familiarly.

The issue was solved for the moment by Jiang Wanyin taking her arm and walking toward the teahouse, but she would have to find out before they did this again.

‘What am I thinking? When even is this? Is there even any “this” to do again?’ Part of her hoped so.

She let him buy her tea and cakes (again), and Wen Qing bought some sweets that would last to bring home. As they were walking afterwards, she put a hand on Jiang Wanyin’s arm.

“What should I call you, when we’re out like this?” she said, voice low.

“Call me? Why wouldn’t you use my name- Oh. Right.”

She wanted to give him a stern look because it was very foolish to forget about their position, even dangerous. But he was so flustered, so young, that a tiny chuckle slipped out before she could put on her annoyed older sister face.

“Are you laughing?” he hissed.

“Yes.” She wasn’t going to sooth his damaged pride over something so small. If Jiang Wanyin couldn’t take such a tiny joke, she would forget all about his kisses and strong arms, and go back to her radishes.

But while he was annoyed, he wasn’t angry. It was a definite improvement in his temper. “Excuse me if I pretended the world didn’t exist for a few hours. Maybe I wanted to enjoy being on a walk with a beautiful woman before I go back to all the old men trying to tell me how to run my sect.”

“So you’re using me to escape? Zongzhu, I am surprised at you.”

He swallowed roughly when she called him ‘zongzhu’. Interesting. Getting a reaction with a single word  was somehow powerful, and Wen Qing suddenly understood why the young ladies at Nightless City would bat their eyelashes when calling young men ‘gongzi.’ Not that she intended to do so! But the thought that even she could produce results with such a method was fascinating.

She forgot all about being cautious.

He led her to a cloth merchant, barely speaking. There was color in his cheeks, just a hint, and she knew it was from high emotion and not sun exposure. He leaned closer and whispered, “I know you’re going to be practical, but I want you to get something for yourself here, too.”

It was her turn to flush. When he spoke, his lips were close and his breath tickled her ear. She wondered if- hoped that- he would steal a kiss.

So it was only a small surprise when he pressed her against a wall later, just around a corner, barely hidden from view. From the look in his eyes, he had also been thinking about kisses.

“Come back to the inn with me,” he said in a breathy whisper.

His face was close to hers, and she almost closed the distance between them.

It would be so easy to let it happen. But it was much like trading herself for the things he’d bought her and while she had entertained the possibility, entertaining it and doing it were completely different.

He seemed to sense her hesitation. “It doesn’t have to be for… anything in particular,” he said. “But I’m not ready to let you go. I mean, it’s getting late, after all. You might as well stay.”

There he was again, that boy she’d met in Cloud Recesses, who smiled at kindness and looked at her like things were uncomplicated. For a moment, he showed through Jiang-zongzhu’s older, more jaded features.

‘You helped make him into this man,’ she reminded herself. ‘You could stay, and maybe he could be that boy again for a little while.’

It was a foolish thought, and she scolded herself for it, but she still nodded and told him, “Very well.”

~*~

They ate a light meal, back in his single room at the inn. He didn’t get a second room for her; as he told the innkeeper, they only needed one room, thank you, and let the man think what he would about it.

Once they were alone, she sent a message to Uncle Four, the old Wen method that carried her writing in flames. It only held limited characters so she was frugal with her words. “With a Friend, Staying Overnight, Back around Lunch.” Jiang Wanyin likewise sent a message by his own means to his current head disciple, Wei Wuxian’s replacement (a temporary stand-in, if Wen Qing could devise a way to get Wei Wuxian home, but for now, he was a replacement).

It was a nice enough room. Wen Qing sat at a little table, and Jiang Wanyin knelt at the desk.

“Do you have work to take care of?” she asked regarding his seat, just to make conversation.

“What? No, I didn’t bring any. I just…” He glanced at the bed. “It didn’t seem appropriate to sit elsewhere.”

After those kisses ten days before, he couldn’t even look at a piece of furniture without blushing! At least she knew her shy gongzi from Cloud Recesses hadn’t turned into a cad.

(When had he become ‘her’ gongzi? Jiang Wanyin had never been hers, she reminded herself.)

It was Jiang Wanyin’s turn to make stilted conversation. “Did you get enough? Things, I mean. At the market.”

“Wei Wuxian will probably want more paper, but besides that, I think so.” She wouldn’t admit it even if she hadn’t. She was pushing it already, allowing him to buy a few cosmetics for the aunties and that hairpin she still wore. Any other frivolities, and she feared Jiang Wanyin would rightly close his purse despite his earlier prompting.

“Hmph. He would need paper. Still designing useless talismans?”

“I wouldn’t say ‘useless,’ at least with the last batch. He’s started to make some household helpers, to compete with the Yiling Patriarch imitators.”

“I ran into one of those recently. What a bunch of stupidity! Doesn’t he do anything about them?” Jiang Wanyin snapped.

“What can he do? There will always be unscrupulous sorts, trying to cash in on a famous name. Just look at all the questionable hangers-on the sects get when they recruit.”

He scowled, but his rant subsided before it really began. “I’ve managed to weed out any truly unsuitable disciples, but yes. I know what you mean.”

She smiled slightly and came to kneel at his side. “Don’t worry so much,” she said as she laid a hand on his arm. “Wei Wuxian can handle the imitation patriarchs. Hopefully-“ She stopped herself. Did she really want to tell Jiang Wanyin that she wanted to make Wei Wuxian leave someday, to go home to Lotus Pier? He might take it as being ungrateful to his sacrifice. He might think she was politically naïve, which was less important but still galling. Or, worst of all, he might push her to do it before Wei Wuxian was ready.

But Jiang Wanyin didn’t seem to notice. His eyes flicked to her hand. Innocent as it was, he still tensed, his lips parting.

“Wen-guniang, I-“

She started to pull her hand away but he struck, quick as a snake, and grabbed her wrist. “Stay,” he commanded.

They stared at each other. Wen Qing wasn’t sure what he was thinking. She wasn’t even sure what she was thinking, her mind was such a riot. But she didn’t pull away, and after a moment, Jiang Wanyin calmed and loosened his hold on her wrist, shifting his grip. He brought her hand up to his lips until she could feel the warmth of his breath on her fingers. He looked like he wanted to say something, like the words were gathering on his tongue, damming up in a multitude, but all that came out was, “I want you.”

She should be appalled; he said it like a demand, and yes, she had entertained the notion that he would expect physical affections for the easy entry into his purse. She even thought about allowing it, remembering his kisses and aching for more.

Here, with that gentle touch at odds with his commands, his eyes dark with want but tense with- Fear? Hope? Was he waiting for rejection?

“Jiang-zongzhu,” she said, and he deflated. She slipped her hand from his, but before his shoulders could slump any more, she touched his cheek.

He leaned into her touch, hiding his expression with closed eyes. His hands fell to his lap and closed into fists. “I know you’re here for your family and Wei Wuxian,” he said before he opened his eyes again. “I’m not a fool.”

“I never said you were,” she said, tilting his face back toward her. “But I have it on good authority that it’s okay to be a little foolish, sometimes.”

“That’s not what-“

She silenced him with a kiss.

Her heart pounded against her ribs, surprised at her own audacity. But he responded eagerly, putting his hands on her arms, loose and not quite gentle, holding her close without trapping her. She wondered if he was leaving her a way to escape on purpose. And she wondered if he’d kissed someone before her; he tilted his head to keep their noses from bumping and although his kisses were a bit toothy, he didn’t clack their teeth together at all. He never had.

There was something to be said for an experienced lover. If he knew what he was doing, she could trust --well, maybe not trust, trust was dangerous-- but at least ‘allow’ him to take care of her.

Part of her was angry that he knew what he was doing. How dare he indulge himself while her family was scraping together a living from a mountain of bones! How dare he find someone else when he had been so shy with her, when she had nothing but the memory of a promise he shouldn’t have made at all!

“Is it foolish of me to ask for that again?” he said in the silence, and she was snapped back from the building sparks of her anger. Every time she started getting angry with him, he showed her that the young man from Cloud Recesses wasn’t quite gone from inside him. He was merely hiding, hesitant and unsure beneath the façade of the Sect Leader.

She was never going to be free of him, at this rate. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be.

“It’s not,” she said. He let out a small, choked noise- surprise, relief, desire, all warring in him- and swept her into his arms. But instead of kissing her again, he held her in a crushing embrace. She couldn’t reach his lips, couldn’t give him the kiss he just requested. So she laid her head on his shoulder, and waited.

“I want to kiss you,” he finally said, still holding her. “I want to do things that aren’t proper, things I should be ashamed of.”

She ran a hand over his chest. His idea of dressing down was still very fine, and her fingertips glided over the cloth.

“I would let you,” she said after a pause, decision made. “I have no reason to hold onto propriety, and you’ve been good to my family.”

“Not as good as Wei Wuxian.”

Her hand stilled. “Wei Wuxian… I was the one who asked him for help. Don’t blame him, Jiang-zongzhu.”

“My family is dead because of him.” He shifted, pushed her to arms-length, but didn’t let her go.

The mood was, of course, ruined, but Jiang Wanyin needed to hear something about this besides his own festering thoughts. So Wen Qing spoke.

“You don’t really believe that.”

“What I believe is irrelevant-“

She cut him off. “It is relevant. Because it’s not true. The Chief Cultivator was aiming for Yunmeng before Wen Chao ever encountered Wei Wuxian. You know that. At first, because he was looking for the Yin Iron hidden in the south. But also because it was only a matter of time before he went after all the Great Sects.”

“I do know that!”

“Then stop blaming Wei Wuxian! It was no one’s fault except those who organized it and those carried it out. And they are dead. You killed many of them yourself, Sandu Shengshou.”

He grimaced like his title was a curse. Good. She meant it to be.

“I know,” he said. His voice was low and soft, chastised. “But I can’t help but be angry. He ran off, abandoned his promise to me, threw away what little good name he had left. And… he’s helping you but my hands are tied.” The words dragged out of him like they were painful.

“I know,” she echoed.

“I wish the people we were protecting were the same. It would be easier if it were all of us, together.”

“I know.”

“I’m not ungrateful. But I have people depending on me, too.”

“I know,” she said again. She put a hand over his. “I’m also not ungrateful. I know what you’re doing, buying all these things for me.”

He scoffed at himself. “A lackluster effort from a lackluster man.”

“Jiang Wanyin, what do you want from me?” She didn’t bother to keep the frustration from her voice. “Why are we here today? Is it me you want, or do you just want your brother back?”

“Why talk about want?” he scoffed. “What if I want both? What if I want Wei Wuxian to make a damned accounting for himself, and I want you to be my wi- my woman?”

Even though she was so, so frustrated with him, her heart pounded when he stumbled over the words. ‘He wanted to say ‘wife.’ I am still worth something in his heart.’

He met her eyes then, and held them. “I want him back, but I also want you. If you didn’t have all those others, I could protect you.”

“If I didn’t have those others, I wouldn’t want to be protected.” She surprised herself at how true that was. If she lost A-Ning, she would walk up the steps of Carp Tower herself just to end it.

Again, he looked like he was thinking more than he was saying, his lips once more in a tight line.

(It was her loyalty that made him ache, after all. Though it was the reason they were forced apart before they really came together, her devotion to her family was what he admired in her.)

But all he said was, “I’m going to kiss you again.”

She shouldn’t allow it. He thought too much, understood too little, and said the wrong things. He was infuriating. And she had secrets that would hurt him. But he still looked at her like she was precious and lovely, and that was a heady thing.

He pulled her close and followed through with his words, surprisingly light when he had held her so tightly earlier. His hand cupped her cheek as he kissed her again. His lips and palm were warm, but Zidian’s ring was cold. Not sparking, but startlingly chill for something that had been on his hand all day. She shivered against his body. He took it for encouragement and she couldn’t say it wasn’t, not when his kisses were growing more confident and igniting such heat in her.

“Heaven help me, I want you…” He trailed off, his eyes distant. “I’m not sure how I’m going to face my ancestors again. Mother would be disappointed.”

She could understand his distraction. Family was important, after all. Aunty and Granny at least would forgive her an indiscretion or two, if they ever even found out, but she knew hardly anything of the Jiang. She couldn’t help asking, “And your father?”

Jiang Wanyin barked a laugh, and it was the ugliest sound she’d heard him make since he’d screamed at her in Yiling, when his core and heart were both shattered.

“Father would probably tell me Wei Wuxian understood our motto better, and he’d be right. I may be leading the sect but he was the one who lived its principles. I’m just making do with his leavings.”

“I had better not be included in that,” Wen Qing snapped, suddenly perturbed. As if she would let just anyone kiss her like that!

“Are you saying you’re not his?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Wei Wuxian saved us, but I don’t make a habit of offering myself up like this. Did you not listen-“

Her words were lost in another kiss, hungry and possessive, like the fact that Wei Wuxian never touched her made her even more desirable.

‘I definitely should not be doing this,’ she thought. ‘Jiang Wanyin clearly has more issues than any one human should contain.’ But he stood and swept her up in his arms and carried her across the room. It was thrilling- annoying, to be hauled around like a sack of grain, but thrilling to feel his powerful arms holding her aloft. She dug her fingers into the fabric covering his shoulder as he walked, and didn’t loosen her hold when he set her down on the bed.

He wanted her. After everything, he felt helpless that he wasn’t the one to save her, angry that she chose someone else. And those were dangerous things. She had seen the perils of a jealous man before. One didn’t live anywhere near Wen Chao without seeing it. And Jiang Wanyin desired her, which was just as perilous. Knowing she could invoke such feelings, that she was wanted simply for being her... It made her ache to get closer to him. But in the morning, he would have to leave, and who knew if he’d find a way to see her again. She’d be back to furtive might-have-been fantasies in her corner of their rickety shelter on a hill of bones.

She wanted to accept everything he gave her today. ‘I am going to be selfish, Granny. Forgive me.’

“I am not Wei Wuxian’s, but I can’t be yours past tonight,” she told Jiang Wanyin.

“I would take whatever you give me,” he said, and she was struck by how similar that was to her own thoughts. She ran a hand from his shoulder, up his neck, down his jawline, drawing him closer with her touch. He still knelt next to the bed rather than on it, the same spot he’d ended in when he laid her down, and when he kissed her again, the only part that touched were their lips and her fingers on his jaw.

He shifted to sit beside her and kissed her again, his hair spilling over his shoulder and hiding the last bits of sunlight that gleamed golden through the window. She put her arms around him and pulled him close. The sun was no longer for her. She hid behind the curtain of his hair and coaxed him into another of his searing kisses.

This time his hand wandered over her body. His touch was heavy, like he was determined to feel her entire being through her clothes. She found she didn’t mind. She wasn’t delicate; that filmy gown he’d chosen wasn’t her. He moaned against her mouth when he reached her breast and that was very nice. Gratifying, to know that she could pull more pleasant sounds from him after he’d bared some of his ugly side to her just moments earlier.

She wanted to hear more.

Wen Qing fumbled with one hand, catching his wrist before he moved farther away, and brought his hand back to her chest. “A little nicer, Jiang Wanyin,” she said, and oh, his moan at that was sweet! He obediently massaged her breast, pushing aside the top layer of her clothes and exploring the feel of her in his hand.

“Is that good?” he asked.

“It is. Your belt is digging into me, though.”

He hurriedly undid the offending belt and tossed it to the floor. He paused above her, looking down like he was drinking her in.

“You’re beautiful,” he said, and leaned over to give her a brief kiss, far more gentle than any of the ones before. “Can I…?” His fingers hovered over her sash.

“Only if you take down my hair, too,” she said. His lips parted, his cheeks pinkened, as if touching her hair was more intimate than her breasts, even though he’d put the hairpin there himself, in public.

‘Ah, but hair is something he would do with a wife, and a wife only,’ she thought, banishing the thought of Jiang Wanyin in a lover’s arms. It made her heart clench painfully. She sat up to give him access to her hair. ‘You were so determined to have him, Wen Qing, that you forgot he knew how to kiss before you,�� she scolded herself as he shifted behind her, his face still bewildered as it had been on Biling Lake. ‘Will you back out now, now that he might know more?’

He took the pin from her hair and set it safely aside. His hands went to her shoulders- and stayed there. He paused for such a long time, she started to turn to check on him, any number of situations running through her head, ranging from frivolous to dire. Was he having second thoughts? Did he notice her hair oil wasn’t as luscious and expensive as before? Was Wei Wuxian’s golden core giving out on him? Did she have something embarrassing like a hairy mole on her neck that she didn’t know about? Were her ears too big and unsexy? Had he finally made the connection between ‘Baoshan Sanren’ and her? Was he thinking about his mother again?!

But just as she was turning, he pressed his lips to the top of her head and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him, shoulderblades to his chest. “I want whatever you will share with me,” he said, and the low hum of his voice sent a shiver through her. “I want you so much, right now. But I arranged for a hot bath and they’ll be up with the supplies any moment now.”

She stopped, tilted her head just a little so she could peek up at him behind her. Something strained and tense in her snapped. Her first laugh was a hard cough, like her body wasn’t used to making the sound. Perhaps it wasn’t- she wasn’t much prone to laughing in the best of times. But the chuckles bubbled up nonetheless, unbidden, a tiny bit hysterical- but freeing. Jiang Wanyin made a gruff noise behind her and she leaned back, setting a hand on his arm.

“A bath,” she tried to get out in her laughter. Her shoulders shook against him and tears welled in her eyes from the abrupt, overwhelming emotion. “You were still, for so long, I worried. But, just a bath!”

There was a short sound from him in her ear as he choked back an involuntary laugh of his own. “That’s ridiculous. You’re ridiculous.”

“Humans are ridiculous, Jiang Wanyin,” she said “Here I was, worried you didn’t like my ears and were going to leave, and all you did was remember the bath.”

“Your ears are fine,” he snapped, as if insulted by the suggestion he could consider them otherwise. She chuckled again and dabbed at her wet eyes, almost in control of herself, and nestled back against him. And there she stayed, tucked against his chest and his lower dantian and even more of him she ached to touch, until their bath was filled.

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