#I will get these three living under the same roof if it’s the last thing I do | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

darkst4lker · 3 months ago

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detention. // remus lupin

professor!lupin x fem!reader

plot: on your last day of sixth year, you get detention with professor lupin, developing a huge crush on him since then. two years later, you graduated from hogwarts and were invited to join the order of phoenix by the weasley twins, so you arrive at the black family house where you've been provided with a place to stay by the order after recently being kicked out of your home. is then when you discovered that you would have to live under the same roof not only with sirius, but also with your big crush from years ago, remus lupin.

tw: professor x ex-student, nothing inappropriate happened when y/n was a minor, like a huge age gap (reader is 19, almost 20), mostly romance/fluff i guess, a little angst, mentions of the reader being a slytherin, reader is friends with the twins but she's older than them by a year, mentions of smoking, sirius black being sirius black it's his own warning, low caps on purpose.

notes: english is not my first language, thank you for the support on the other one-shots!!! ALSO HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! ♡♡ xoxo.

ps: i wrote this listening to speak now (the whole album) by taylor swift and it was an INTENSE experience.

it was your last day of sixth year and you couldn't believe that your last hours before dinner and taking the train were going to be spent on remus lupin office. now you really regretted following the twin's ideas for once.

in your eyes it was an innocent last-day-of-school prank, but it ended up with you three accidentally setting the whopping willow aflame for like twenty seconds before the three of you managed to stop the fire. yet, professor snape was the one to see the whole sequence of events, meaning he was completely livid and not so forgiving as others professors could be so he sent you and the twins straight to detention.

and that's how you ended up in professor lupin empty classroom, in detention, for three hours. of course snape separated you from the twins, so not only you were going to be sitting in one of the classroom benches for a long time, you were also alone.

remus was finishing getting some papers in order as he supervised you, and you sat quietly in the front row, completely bored as you looked at what he was doing to entertain yourself. in one moment, his eyes went to you, noticing your clearly irritated face.

the moment snape appeared in his door grabbing you and made him take care of your detention time (only to put more work on him last minute, he believed) you made him remember the times he used to do the same stupid shit with sirius, james and peter.

so, for the sake of the old times and the fact this was the last day of school, he decided to make your detention a little bit more entertaining.

“miss (l/n).” he called you, his voice calm as always.

“professor lupin.” you answered, still irritated but with the energy to speak ironically.

“what were you trying to do with the twins?” remus asked you, a subtle smile on his lips. he was looking at his work while he talked to you.

“when?” you answered smiling, trying to play dumb because the fact that the prank went terribly wrong embarrassed the hell out of you.

remus stopped organizing his paperwork as he raised his eyes from his work to give you a serious “don't pretend you don't understand” look, making you sigh in redemption.

“okay, im sorry professor, stop looking at me like that. it frightens me a bit.” you admitted as you rolled your eyes. “we were trying to set fireworks that were meant to activate when everyone went outside to take the carriages.”

his eyes relaxed when he got and answer and he continued with his work. he seemed to be just minutes away to finishing with his paperwork, though.

“you know, when i was your age i did the same kind of things with my friends.” remus said, chuckling a bit.

“no way.” you answered, clearly in disbelief. remus looked at you smiling softly for a moment.

“i swear” he added, and you instantly laughed.

“for merlin's sake!” you exclaimed, enjoying his confession and now feeling less alone than before. “the mysterious and innocent looking professor lupin ended up being a troublemaker, who could have guessed it?” you said, laughing.

he smiled as you laughed, still working on his papers.

“mysterious?” remus asked, an eyebrow raising in curiosity.

“y'know, what the other girls always say about you.” you added, trying to reference the constant things you heard from your classmates. “that you're mysterious because of your-... y'know.” you pointed at your face to reference his scars with all the delicacy you had. being a slytherin didn't helped a lot with having much tact, but for remus you tried. remus on the other hand, was usually uncomfortable with his scars but it warmed his heart a little that his students didn't think his face was completely unpleasant, as he did.

“they also say that you appear to be sweet and kind” you kept enlisting what you always heard, things that you also thought. things, that you firmly believed he didn't needed to know you thought. “and of course what i consider a classic at this point: that you're beautiful.” you ended up, a little smile on your lips.

remus stayed silent for a second before answering. a yawn scaped your lips as you were really tired. the whole thing with snape scolding you and the twins into oblivion had left you exahusted, yet you guessed remus wouldn't let you sleep on detention.

“those are all the things they say about me?” he asked, calmly. his apparently soft lips giving you a warm smile. somehow inside your chest you knew he wasn't as pure as he appeared.

in your eyes, remus had the look of a wounded man who couldn't afford to be innocent because he was already rotting since long ago, his soul marked with the kiss of something beautiful enough to torture a man.

there had to be a reason for the way this man was always looking like he knew something you didn't.

“yes. i think all the girls have a crush on you.” you said, answering his question like if your mind wasn't lingering on the way his fingers moved while manipulating every paper in his desk. that's what finally made you realize that in some point you were included in the affirmation you said, because remus lupin was too kind with everything and everyone for you to not end up completely mesmerized.

yet, you thought it was natural for you to develop a crush when this man guided your hand with his in class and whispered sweet instructions in your ear when he picked you to make a demonstration. i mean, who would not feel butterflies around him was the right question.

“i never noticed.” he lied, because in fact he did noticed, but it was fun to have someone gossiping with him about the class rumours. not that remus specifically enjoyed them though, but sometimes he felt like a gossip when discussing with, for example, minerva about all the things other students commented about him.

and right now, you were the one making him feel like a gossip. he honestly believed that you were his funniest student but also the most oblivious one.

oblivious, because you truly believed he didn't noticed you were one of the girls crushing on him too.

you smiled at remus, looking at him for a moment. you were aware that he probably lied about not noticing what the girls commented of him. he had this delicate demeanor in his face features that you couldn't fully explain, even if his skin was full of scars.

and every single one of those scars felt like a whole mistery waiting for you to solve. what you didn't knew yet, was that his scars were a prophecy of his damnation.

“i thought every teacher noticed.” you stated, smiling tiredly at him. as your thoughts became a little cloudy, you could notice that you were about to fall asleep, so you felt like you had to ask remus if you could rest a moment, or at least warn him. “professor lupin” you called him.

“yes, (y/n)?” remus answered, using your name. a chuckle settled in his lips as he used the same ironic tone you used earlier when he called your name.

maybe it was the fact that you were sixteen at the time, and your hormones were crazy or the way you suddenly started struggling to stay awake, but something in the way your name came out of his lips made you feel like you had a cloud of furious butterflies inside your body, eager to come out of you. his voice made your name sound so elegant that every letter curled in your guts and twisted your heart like a siren call straight from the deepest ocean.

a subtle blush settled on your cheeks, and you took a deep breath as you noticed how his smell was all over the classroom: chocolate, parchment, coffee, old book pages. autumn.

being in sixth grade meant that the amortentia was on your class program, and after some time alone with professor lupin, you quickly connected the dots of what was exactly the scent you smelt that one time snape put a calderon full of amortentia in front of your class and asked what was it.

yet you were getting too sleepy to deal with the huge crush you just realized you had with remus lupin in that moment. « i'll handle it next year » you thought, like if he wasn't in your amortentia scent, before finally answering him.

“nothing, i was just going to ask if it would be possible for me to take a quick nap here” you asked him, smiling clearly tired. “please professor lupin, snape exahusted the hell out of me.” you added, as if the plea would do something to help your case.

remus looked at you clearly trying not to laugh at the things you said. if you only knew he detested him just as you did, and that he always got exahusted from dealing with severus too.

he let out a deep breath before answering.

“go ahead. you do seem tired.” he said, having a little mercy on you. “i'll wake you when detention it's over.” remus added, now having finished with his paperwork and opening a book he had in his desk. it was the last day of school, and he felt like you deserved a little of good will from him.

you rested your head on your arms against the bench, closing your eyes softly.

“thank you professor, that's why you're my favourite.” you said, finally letting the sleep trap you in his arms.

remus watched over your dreams with the affection only him could possess. the sweetness he lacked as a wolf, he had it as a human.

so, when you had sleep over almost all your detention time, remus stood up from his desk chair and walked over you to finally woke you from your well deserved nap, fifteen minutes before dinner.

“y/n” he said, calmly. “y/n” he repeated.

you opened your eyes, moved your head a bit and looked up at him, standing up in front of you.

“good evening, professor.” your answer came out sleepy, pieces of your dreams lingering on your body.

“good evening, y/n.” he smiled at you from above. “here, take this.” remus said, placing a piece of chocolate in your bench, next to your head. “it'll wake you up a little.”

you didn't answer, as you were still trying to keep your eyes open.

“i need to get all these papers to my office, please leave the classroom door closed when you go to the great hall” he added, ruffling your hair with kindness before grabbing a pile of papers on his desk and leaving you alone in the classroom with the piece of chocolate as his only remain.

when you were awake enough, in the solitude of the classroom, you ate the chocolate piece and left, too excited and flustered with what just happened to remember that you had to leave the class door closed.

after that day you went home, spent your vacations there until your seventh year started, and when you got to hogwarts and dumbledore announced that your new professor of defense against dark arts was going to be alastor moody, your stomach dropped to your feet in deception.

that was the exact moment you damned your sleepy ass and how you thought you could do something about your crush «next year». you couldn't. you wouldn't.

and the worst part is that you knew that even if remus were there, nothing would have ever happen. he was a good man, and you were just a stupid girl thinking you stood a single chance with him. or maybe not, but still you wanted to see him every day again if it was possible.

the first night of your seventh year you cried like a heartbroken girl in your bed because you thought you wouldn't see remus again, and none of your dorm mates knew what happened to you or how they could help.

the only ones who knew what was happening to you were fred and george, because they were your best friends, and even if they did everything to make you feel better you were still crying for weeks like if someone had died.

and, being aware that harry potter surely would know what happened with lupin, the twins borderline interrogated him for days until he spilled out what he knew. so fred and george came back to you with the whole story: lupin was a werewolf and he had to quit because snape sniched on him with the students parents. obviously, you scolded them because harry had enough to think about with someone slipping his name into the goblet of fire but you were extremely grateful, and now you had an excuse to murder snape.

yet, you also had an answer to all the questions you had about remus. why his face was full of scars, why he looked so emotionally wounded, why he always seemed to know something you didn't, why he disappeared once per month. he was a werewolf.

so, settling with the fact that you would probably never hear of him again you kept your broken heart and your silly little crush in a box, graduated from hogwarts and went home. until one day, an owl with a letter woke you up early in the morning crashing into your window. you recognized fred's messy calligraphy.

« dear (y/n):

well that sounded awful. anyways, how is it going? be kind enough to write us a letter one of these days, we've been missing you.

since you're sooo good doing crazy shit with your wand (almost like us) me and george fred george recommended you to our parents for a little organization that's starting to rise again. we cannot explain more since y'know, the ministry is intercepting owls like crazy.

please come on september 9th at night to 12 grimmauld place. don't use flu. or maybe just come to our house first and we can take you there. yes, that's it, come to our home and we'll go together to grimmauld place.

we expect a letter to confirm your answer. or maybe just a letter telling us about you. please write us we're desperate!! and we miss you!!

ps: lupin will be there ;) SO SAY YES!!

sincerely yours,

fred george george and fred fred and george weasley »

you laughed at the whole letter, and when you read about remus being there, you decided to do what they asked you. you quickly wrote an answer and sent the owl back to them saying yes, but your parents ended up finding their letter.

your parents weren't the most tolerant people, being wizards with an opulent life and purist ideas just like the malfoys, so of course they weren't happy about you receiving a letter not from one but two weasleys. and for once you stood up to fight them back, confessing you planned to go with your friends.

that was the last straw, and days before of what fred and george stated, you were in their front door because your parents kicked you out of home with promises of disinherit you. you were a blood traitor on their eyes now.

the weasleys kindly received you and finally explained for what organization they were trying to recruit you: the order of the phoenix.

you agreed to join gladly, out of rage for your parents ideals and out of impotence because you openly believed what harry said: voldemort was back.

and, just as fred and george promised, on september 9th everyone went to grimmauld place, you included. it was a shiny full moon night and when you and the weasleys stood in front of the door, for a second you wondered if remus was okay. if his transformations were painful, if he was going to be comforted after.

when you got inside the house, the weasleys revealed to you that the plan was for you to stay at grimmauld place, and keep sirius black (who you recently found out that was an innocent) company the most part of the year. you were told that everyone would pass from time to time and that remus was probably going to be staying there the most of the time too.

so, you met sirius, who guided you to his deseaced mother's room and told you to leave your things there since you were going to be living there full time. you settled up and after a lovely dinner that molly prepared, you officially joined the order.

it almost felt like a fever dream, days ago you were at your parents house, and now you were joining a resistance and just hours away from seeing remus lupin again. a part of you was excited and other was scared of falling in love with him, heartbeat going crazy just at the idea of sharing a home with him.

you went to bed in the middle of a haze, the sheets embraced you with tenderness as you closed your eyes and the fatigue of all the events clouding your life catched up with you. you had a dreamless sleep until a scream suddenly waked you.

you didn't found time to change as you got out of bed almost running, worried that something had happened. yet, the moment you went down the stairs you saw arthur, sirius, moody and molly (who was clearly agitated and you guessed she was also the one who screamed) looking at someone laying in the sofa of the living room.

it was late for you to go back unnoticed, as sirius instantly saw you.

“(y/n)” he said, tenderly. “i apologize if we woke you.”

you didn't answered because in the exact moment he talked to you, arthur moved from his place and you saw the face you never thought you would ever see again.

remus layed on the sofa, his face was extremely pale and full of scraches, he had a nasty wound on his chest and in general, he looked sick. molly was helping to treat the deep cut on his chest and you quickly realized that was probably what made her scream.

you looked at sirius, your expression soaked in concern for remus state. it was almost unrealistic seeing him like this but you finally understood the violence involved in being cursed by the moon.

it was the first time you saw him in two years but your eyes couldn't fully believe what they were seeing. the one you adored so much in deep secret, was injured and almost unconscious.

a part of you knew you didn't had to seem extremely worried if you intended to keep your secret, but it was hard for you to restrain your feelings.

“is he-...” you doubted before the words escaped your lips. “is he going to be alright?”

no one but sirius payed attention to your presence as they were focused on remus. he looked at you with reassurance as you stood on the doorframe.

“yes, yes. do not worry, he has been worse.” sirius answered, giving you a calm smile. “go back to sleep, tomorrow it's going to be a long day and we'll have a meeting.” he added, as his attention went back to remus.

your feet refused to move for a couple of seconds and just when you were about to turn back and go to bed, remus eyes met yours. his gaze subtly widened and you felt like a deer in lights, provoking you to almost run upstairs just the way you did a couple minutes ago.

but as you left, remus felt ashamed of himself. after not seeing you for so long, suddenly now you knew what he was, who he was. what the beast inside of him provoked every full moon.

at the same time everyone treated his wounds, trying to make him feel better, in his mind he cursed his lycanthropy. remus couldn't help but feel like a constant burden, a beast who had to be kept captive.

as a couple of days went by, you didn't saw remus at all. molly insisted on him resting some days in bed since he was injured and his transformation had been quite violent so you only heard the news that she or sirius brought back of remus state when they went to check on him.

until one night you couldn't sleep, and you decided to go downstairs for a cup of tea. you tried to be silent as you got out of your room in your pajamas and went to the kitchen.

but oblivious as you always were, you didn't noticed that as you prepared your tea, your back facing the doorframe, someone else was also getting into the kitchen but with the intention to get a coffee.

“good evening, miss (l/n)” you jumped back as the teasing voice of remus lupin scared you, making you drop a bit of tea over the counter.

“shit-... prof- sorry-...” you said, surprised and nervous. the words struggled to find an order while coming out of your lips but you realized in time that remus wasn't you professor anymore and that he was probably joking.

the way he said your last name scratched your brain in a oddly specific way. or well, everything he said had that effect on you.

“im sorry, i didn't meant to-...” remus started to say but you interrupted his words, turning to face him.

“don't worry it's okay, i didn't thought someone else would be awake.” you answered, smiling at him.

the moment you looked at him you noticed that remus had the same loving and sweet gaze he had two years ago. all this time you believed that you may had been delusional about your crush over him, that maybe you had set a extremely high standard or that this was all a product of the idealized remus you had on your brain, but no.

as you saw him standing there, a comfortable brown sweater on his body and his now healed scratches on his face you realized that the man you've been crushing on was as wounded and broken as you once remembered. the same tender look on his eyes being a constant reminder of the cruelty of his destiny at the hands of the moonlight.

“you can call me remus, by the way.” he clarified, smiling at you and you nodded.

“remus... sounds good. better than professor lupin.” your answer was a little bold but you felt relief when he chuckled. “so, what are you doing here this late?” you asked as the cup of tea went to your lips and you took a sip, testing the temperature.

“i could ask you the same, you know?” remus smiled as he walked closer to the counter, meaning he was closer to you too. “i was craving coffee, and since the days after the full moon i can never sleep, a night coffee it seemed like a good idea.” he added, as he started preparing one. “also this is the only place in the house where molly allows me to smoke.” he said whispering playful like if he was telling you a secret.

then you gave a quick look at the ceiling and noticed that had some stains. stains caused by the cigarette smoke, you guessed.

you smiled at him and took another sip of your tea.

“are you feeling better, then?” you finally asked him, curious and nervous. the question had been repressed in your chest for a couple of days.

“well, sirius and molly took good care of me.” remus said, still preparing his coffee. “i feel a little numb this time, though. it was more intense than usually.”

“i was a bit worried.” you admitted, looking at his hot coffee on the counter, and then directing your eyes to his.

“i know, i saw you. and i heard you.” he answered, now grabbing a cigarette he had tucked behind his ear. “i thought you were scared of me, by the way you ran upstairs when i looked at you.” remus smiled a bit while speaking, but it became a melancholic smile when he said those last sentences. then he put he cigarette on his lips like a tender death kiss.

you realized how he was probably insecure about his nature. for him, a death omen. but for you, it felt like the moon loved him so much she needed to have him for herself once a month. but it was a exhausting love, the kind of love that consumes you to the core of your being and hurts your soul.

yet you wondered what kind of love remus had to offer, and if he indeed had feelings for someone inside his chest, who would be the one blessed with remus love.

when remus lighted the cigarette, he took a deep drag and released the smoke with a certain elegance that you couldn't explain.

“no, i could never-...” you stopped yourself from saying something you would probably regret. “i wasn't scared, i was embarrassed. i thought i was being intrusive. it was one hell of a entrance after not seeing you for two years, though.”

he smiled at you, more relaxed than before as he leant against the kitchen counter. the hand that didn't held the cigarette was now grabbing his coffee and your eyes quickly made their way to his fingers against the cup. you felt like you were sixteen again, looking at his hands.

when he answered your gaze found his again.

“you're right, it's been a long time.” remus took a sip of his coffee. “i hope you didn't got in much trouble after i left.”

“i became a bit worse.” you admitted. then your lips kept moving, saying things you didn't thought you would ever admit. “i used to have a crush on you, back in hogwarts. i was sad when you left.”

remus smirked, the cigarette separating from his lips before he responded.

“i know, the twins told me some weeks ago, before one of the meetings.” he confessed, a soft laugh escaping his lips. “they said you cried.”

a deep blush crept into your cheeks, and a intense feeling of embarrassment settled in your stomach. you left the tea on the counter, and covered your face.

“oh for merlin's sake, i can't believe they told you.” your hands left your face and you stared at the floor for a second.

“if it makes you feel better, i already knew.” remus said, finishing his cigarette.

you stared at him in disbelief.

“since when?” you asked, feeling like you could die of embarrassment.

“since the day you had detention with me.” he answered, calmly. “it is true? you cried?” remus curiosity won over him.

you sighed, defeated.

“yes, i cried.” your words were shy, but then you became a little confident. “fred and george told me snape was the one that made you quit, so he became my pranks target and i got a lot of detention time.”

remus laughed, and that made you blush even more and your heartbeat raised to the ceiling. he finished his coffee and spoke.

“i pity him, i wouldn't dare to provoke the rage of a young woman.” remus answered. “even less yours.”

“why-...?” you were about to grab your cup of tea again as you responded but his hand moved to the kitchen counter counter in that exact moment, meeting your hand with his.

when your hands touched, it felt like a shock of electricity running through your whole body. you instantly pulled back from his contact, looking at the floor.

feeling like you had your heart stuck in your throat, an inevitable realization came to you like a rush of adrenaline. you were too far gone for this to be only a crush. you've spent two years loving him endlessly, and now that you were with him you could only wonder if you would've kept loving remus like this if the twins hadn't recruited you, and he weren't beside you in this exact moment.

the typical boldness that layed on your chest had left you for a moment and you needed to take a deep breath. when the words came to you, they were far more brave that you could ever imagine.

“what if this crush never faded?” your voice trembled for a second. “what if it became worse?”

remus sighed and took his hand to your chin and forced you to look a him in the eyes in a sweet gesture.

“we can't, i'm too old for you.” he said, almost in a whisper.

“i never cared about that.” you answered in a heartbeat.

“well, i do care. it's not only the age, it's-...” he made a brief pause. “i'm dangerous, (y/n). im not good for you at all.”

“i don't care, remus. i'm not scared of you.” you moved closer, you could be in front of him.

remus was taller than you, a detail that never failed to make you weak before him. you looked up at his eyes.

“you don't even know me properly.” his voice sounded a bit shaky.

“i never thought i did, yet i always had the desire to do so.” everything he had to said, you've already had thought an argument ages ago thinking of all the things he could say if this situation happened.

and you never thought it would, but luckily the gods or whatever above heard the constant plea of your heart.

“i can't keep a job because i'm a werewolf, (y/n) please think of what you're saying for a second-...” you interrupted him.

“you could say your face will turn green every night and i wouldn't care. please, just give me one chance.” you said, almost in a whisper. a sweet plea for him to spare your heart.

remus thought you were a beautiful woman, brave, ambitious and oddly astute. an intelligence made for chaos and not exactly for books, but he knew better than to ruin you and in his eyes just even trying to date you would feel like setting on fire to your promising life.

he was a monster, fearful that his lycanthropy could hurt you or affect you forever, not to mention he was frightened that his children could end up being cursed like him.

but then he looked at you, so willing to have him, so in love and he felt his heart melting.

maybe you could try, right? just a try.

“i-...” remus began to say. “i think we can try.”

you sighed in relief as you got closer to him, your chest almost touching his.

his smell clouded your mind the same way it did years ago and you knew in your insides that if you someone put amortentia in fron of you, you would feel his scent as you once did: chocolate, parchment, coffee, old book pages. the smell of autumn itself.

his eyes, his voice, his smell, all of him provoked your chest to feel like it was about to explode, enchanting your mind like if some sort of love spell was being casted on your soul.

and now, he was yours. all yours.

one of your wildest dreams came true, and you knew your heart needed to seal the moment the best way you could. there was a gift, an offering to be made at the altar of your love.

there was something you never dared to give anyone else before, because no man was like him.

“you know, i saved something special for a moment like this.” the confession came out of your lips as you grabbed his face to lure him like a beautiful nymph and make him lean into your direction.

and even if he didn't say anything. your words hit remus straight on the face, twisting his guts and he just couldn't believe how nervous he was.

when his eyes looked at you as you grabbed his face and got closer, to him you looked divine just as a superior being could be.

in the moment you kissed him, it was a sweet kiss that made remus shiver from head to toe and take his hands to your waist almost like if you were made of glass.

the first time you kissed someone and it was him. it felt like you were putting a blessing on his soul, fixing even if it was just fo a second, the damage of his eternal curse.

remus wondered if he was the one who would fell in love deeper, noticing the control you had over him just with a kiss, how he suddenly could fall to his knees if you asked.

the soft exchange between your lips ended when a voice interrupted you both.

“for merlin's beard, moony.” sirius voice spoke from the doorframe. as remus avoided his look ashamed, you looked at him a bit irritated for interrupting. “don't look at me like that, (y/n). i didn't expected to find people kissing inside my kitchen when i came here to drink water.” he smirked, mocking you both

after a couple of seconds you laughed at his words, and remus followed you. the first fifteen minutes into this uncommon thing you had and you were already laughing at sirius together.

remus felt relieved and for a moment he believed that any difficulties you could have, you'll both be able to work it out together.

maybe it didn't matter if he was a werewolf or if you were this younger, or if he was frightened to hurt you.

because maybe remus wasn't as cursed as he thought.

i hope you enjoyed this, i spent DAYS writing it and im glad i got to release it for halloween!!! xoxo.

1K notes · View notes

letorip · 7 months ago

Note

Which of Jenna’s characters do you think would be the clingiest? (I loved your headcannons ❤️)

most clingy

this was a very wholesome one to think about, i had great fun. thank you the anon who submitted this. same deal as last time, if you're tl;dr my take is at the bottom

wednesday addams:

she likes to put up a tough front of needing nobody and desiring to be alone, but once she falls for you, it's as bad as morticia and gomez

you live in a room on the other side of campus, and she's made it a habit of sneaking to your room almost every night. she scales the fucking dangerous, rickety old roof to get there each time, but she'll do it, because she'll get to sleep with you

sometimes it's to sleep with you, if you catch my not-so-subtle drift, and then other times it's because she wants to sleep with you

of course, she'll disguise it as "my room has broken air conditioning" or "enid is snoring," and you just smile, nod, and lift the sheets for her to get in

she's not a huge cuddler in the sense that she wants to lay directly on you, but she wants to be around, in the same bed

you do this almost every night, and if you don't, she's knocking on your door right when people are let out of their rooms in the morning to hang out (or make out) before breakfast starts

she's virtually moved in with you, at this point. she has a toothbrush in your bathroom, several outfits in your dresser (in her own drawer), and she leaves dead animal skulls and occult books around to "liven up the place." they definitely don't match your pre-existing decor, but you don't mind because it's wednesday

she's not super fond of pda of any sort, but she'll definitely be right by your side when you're hanging with mutual friends. she'll hold hands under the table or kiss you when there's a private moment, but she's not all over you physically when other people are staring at you both

she does definitely get super jealous

she'll make little comments like "bianca seemed friendly" or "divina finds you awfully funny." if you're tutoring someone in the library, guess who will also miraculously be at the library at the same time? sitting in a chair with a perfect angle of the table you're at and peeking over the top of her book

wednesday is almost always with you, because you're one of the few people she trusts and longs to frequently be with

tara carpenter:

you live with tara and sam, so it makes sense that you and tara slowly grow closer and closer until you start dating

she absolutely loves to have at least one point of contact with you whenever she can. she'll lean against you, lean her head on your shoulder, wrap an arm around you, just let your shoulders touch, or when she really wants to, she'll leave a hand on your knee

when you’re both watching a movie, she’ll cuddle up against your chest and start to fall asleep there, especially if it’s one she’s seen before. you turn the movie off but don’t move, because if you do tara will wake up

during the events of scream vi or any time there’s a ghostface threat levied towards her or sam, she’s especially attached to you. she doesn’t sleep as well and refuses to leave your side, as she’s paranoid ghostface will come to take you from her

you assure her that you’re okay and she can sleep, grabbing her hand and squeezing it three times (i. love. you.). it calms tara down a bit, and though she’s still worried and makes sure the apartment is locked and you’re all safe, it helps her sleep

when things calm down again, she’s not super clingy in the sense that she’s always with you. you’re both in college and have your own classes, and though she wants you near, you both can function as separate people. it doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be with you, but your work and school keeps you both a bit more apart during the day

you both text frequently though, not because she doesn’t trust you and wants to be on top of you, but because it’s just nice to hear from you and you both love talking to each other. she’ll send you photos of cute dogs she sees on instagram or a reel she finds funny with a little note at the bottom that says ‘hope your day is going well <3’

tara does get rather jealous at parties. it’s not your fault you’re hot, but when other people approach you to “talk,” 9 times out of 10 you’re too oblivious to realise you’re being hit on

she’ll walk right over to the conversation you’re having with someone random and duck under your arm to wrap it around her shoulders. if that doesn’t work, she also has the tactic of narrowing her eyes, or if she’s feeling especially bold, just grabbing your wrist and dragging you away to shove you down on some random bed

people know in general not to fuck with tara when it comes to you. in a way it makes you her weak spot, but she will absolutely raise hell and stab whoever she needs to, in order to make sure you’re okay

shes definitely a cuddler. she’ll drag you back into bed and wrap an arm around your torso and hold you there. sam always wrinkles her nose whenever she walks past you both cuddled up against each other on the couch after a long day

lorraine day:

you meet lorraine as an actor in the adult films, when she’s still with RJ. it causes a bit of drama when she leaves him for you, but once you and her are officially together she never ever wants to leave your side

it even means she starts acting in them herself, and the best part is that with you, it’s not even really acting. she loves every minute and how free you make her feel, and because she feels it strongest while in your presence, she chases after it all the time

she’s a giant hugger, wether it be side hugging, or wrapping her arms around your waist from behind, to rest her head on your shoulder and watch whatever thing you’re doing

lorraine is so in love, and with you it’s a sweetness that shoots up her veins like heroin. you both eat together, sleep together, work together, and travel together

you always travel together except for once, when you had to go check on your father as his health declined. it was two states away and you went alone, because lorraine was due to keep shooting with jackson, maxine, and bobby-lynne. the entire time you were away after the filming wrapped, she stared out the damn window over the hill, waiting for you to pull up in your truck

it wasn’t long enough a time that she could’ve written a letter, but she felt like a soldier’s wife craving your call

when you got back she ran out to meet you and jumped into your arms. you twirl her around with a laugh and she’s crying into your hands and kissing your palms and then kissing you.

you laugh and say “lorraine, it’s been three days,” but she shakes her head and kisses you again. she’s so happy you’re home you go AT it that night, to the point where wayne knocks on your door to tell you to quiet down

she’s wanted to marry you since the minute she met you, and she tells you as such, even though it’s been a bit over a year

she doesn’t get super jealous, just because she knows fucking other people is just what you do for work. it feels different for you both, when you’re alone and when you’re in front of the camera. you’re both comfortable with yourselves and your relationship, and it’s the comfort she’s always wanted

i’m thinking of hourglass by catfish and the bottlemen, i think that song describes it perfectly

you’re always together, in your own perfect little version of heaven, and while it’s not clinginess from jealousy, it’s clinginess from love and being happy

cairo sweet:

cairo is not clingy whatsoever

not in the sense that she couldn’t give a fuck about you— though she definitely attempted to push that narrative at first— but in the sense that she knows she’s the best and she knows you’re both so incredibly solid. if anything, being apart makes seeing each other even better

she’s a romantic and a rich romantic at that, so whose to say she won’t go on a vacation for a few weeks without warning and then reappear at school for you to ask her where she went

part of her enjoys creating a mystery for you, and making you chase her. she likes the thrill of it, and in a weird way it shows that you care about her enough to find out where she’s been or what she’s doing. it’s somewhat refreshing, considering her parents are so careless and you care so much

she does get jealous when she sees you with other kids. you’re just as intelligent as she is, and you give tutoring advice and run several clubs, so there are always kids who need to speak with you. she knows it’s just part of your role on campus, but it does irk her a bit when she sees you talking to pretty girls who are all too suddenly interested in correcting their math test

most nights between you both are spent at her home, tangled up. she likes to drink wine, but you stay away from alcohol. that doesn’t mean you won’t kiss it off her lips, though

you both are avid readers, so sometimes she’ll lean against you while you both read separate books and sit in silence. it’s peaceful, and cairo always thought she’d want some whirlwind forbidden romance, which is why she’s so surprised she likes the quiet domesticity

she’s definitely somewhat a fan of showy pda in certain situations. she’ll sit on your lap in between classes and wrap an arm around your shoulders, and who’s to say the girl who she caught staring at your lips yesterday wouldn’t come around the corner at the same time to see you there

she makes it perfectly clear she doesn’t depend on you, though. you both exist as separate people. she finds couples joined at the hip as “vapid” and “full of braggadocio.” of course, she’s proud of her relationship with you, but cairo also values her independence and separation

not that many people were even aware you were together officially, until a good three months in. you would argue (flirt) in class during socratic seminars, but most kids thought you both genuinely hated each other

for what it’s worth, you enjoy cairo for all her cairo-isms. it may be cringe to other people, but you do fundamentally understand her in a way no one else really does, just because of how open and honest she is with you. it was a struggle for her at first, but she does appreciate you for it

another one down. really tried to stick to clingy but it definitely branched out to other stuff too because i think there are definitely many ways to be clingy. clingiest, i would say would be lorraine, with tara not falling far behind

#answered #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x you #letorip #cairo sweet x reader #lorraine day x reader #wednesday addams x reader #tara carpenter x reader

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the-oblivious-writer · 1 year ago

Text

After the Storm |1|

Tara Carpenter x Spider-Women!Reader

Chapter One: Mutant Lizards & Kisses

(idk how many chapters I'll do for this series but I'm just winging it for now)

Summary: After your fight with The Lizard, you climb back with quite a few injuries. Luckily, Tara's there to tend to them

Warning(s): Swearing, Police!Sam 🤭, mentions of fighting & injuries

Notes: Based off of this scene in TASM (gotta be one of my favorite scenes). Wrote this while taking a break from writing chp 6 of LTLI. Motivation for this kinda just came to me and I've always wanted to do a spider!reader thing

Masterlist|Next Part

You limped, nearly collapsing on the roof as you held your side.Your trap for Dr. Connors did not work out how you planned, and your recklessness to get more photos than you needed ended you up with none.

You painfully crawled down, making your way to the fire escape outside the window you recognized. You knocked on it three times with your head, ignoring your pounding headache. You kept your head resting on the window as you heard clicking from the other side. Tara looked over to you and smiled before saying, “Come in,” then turning back to the assignment she was working on.

You push the window up, sliding through the opening as you exhale tiredly.

“You should maybe, uh, consider coming in through the main entrance,” Tara jokes and you huff a laugh.

You struggle to lift yourself until finally hopping into her room

“Also, my sister is under the impression that you require psychiatric attention….” Tara finally turns to you when she hears you grunt and her eyes slightly widen.

“Y/N.” She stood up from her chair and rushed over to you. You’re now leaning against the wall, when Tara comes up to you.

“What the hell happened?” She asked quickly.

“You should see the other guy,” you say in a husky voice; you can still see Tara fretting over your injuries.

She carefully walks you to her bed, gently laying you down, not wanting to cause you any further pain. You tilt your head back as you continue to speak through deep breaths, “the other guy, in this instance being a giant mutant lizard.”

“You’re all bruised up–”

“Tara, I’m fi–”

“You’re not fine,” Tara interrupted in a sharp tone.

“Tara–”

You both stopped your movement when you heard Sam’s voice from the other side of the door.

“Hey, Tara, I have to run to the station. Do you want me to pick up some ice cream from that place you like, on the way back?” You and Tara shared a look before she got up and you rolled to the floor.

Tara opened the door just a few inches to greet her older sister. “No, Sam. I do not want ice cream. I can’t afford any distractions right now. I have a bunch of exams to prepare for,” Tara said, trying to fake an aggravated tone.

“Okay, I just remember somebody saying last week that her fantasy was to live in an ice cream house,” Sam reminded Tara.

“Well that's impractical,” she said, shutting the door. “And fattening,” she added after opening the door, now shutting it again.

She turned around to see you peeking from behind the bed, giving her a dopey smile. “An ice cream house?” You questioned, still wearing the same expression.

Tara rolled her eyes, nodding, still not saying a word before turning back around to open the door once again.

“Sorry…” Tara apologized to Sam.

“It’s really good ice cream.”

“It’s just I can’t, um, I'm doing this um—paper and I’m really focused on it. Didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“It’s okay, I get it. How about I bring you a some for later?”

“Okay, sounds good. Thanks Sammy,” Tara said with a smile before shutting the door one more time.

As soon as she walked back in the room, she gave you no room to talk. Already giving you directions to follow as she got her medkit from her nightstand’s bottom drawer.

“Roll down your suit.”

You sigh but comply. “I’m fine, just a little banged up. I almost got him though—Dr. Connors. I can feel it, Tar. I’m gonna get him next time.”

“I swear, Y/N, if you get yourself killed I will make sure you regret it,” the younger Carpenter threatened.

“Why? Gonna miss me?” You teased, looking at the other girl as her attention was on the rubbing alcohol she was preparing.

“In your dreams, Y/L/N,” Tara replied, but you saw the tiny smile she gave you before looking back at what she was doing.

“Ah…” You softly groaned, feeling the sting as the rubbing alcohol made contact with your open wound.

Tara gave you an apologetic look, “It’ll be done soon.”

“And when that's done?”

“What do you mean?” Tara asked with a slightly raised eyebrow.

“After this, how about we do something?”

She lightly shook her head with a smile before replying. “And Sam comes home to an empty apartment? Yeah, no.”

“I’ll get you home in time before Sam is,” you reassure her.

“You’re forgetting Sam’s a police captain,” Tara’s body betrays her as she melts into your touch, feeling your hand gently sneak up her arm.

“Unless she can track my web-shooters, I think we’re good.”

“I don’t know…” she looks down, averting her attention to one of your other cuts she’s tending too.

You left hand lifts her head, her chin resting on your knuckles.

“Come on…”

Your foreheads meet and the towel in her hand is long forgotten. You brush your thumb against her bottom lip, you both slightly lean in until your lips are only centimeters apart.

“Easy bug girl…” You heard her whisper.

“What’d you just call me?” You asked as you both lightly laugh, faces never pulling from each other.

“Let's get out of here,” you said as you comedically shook your head around, causing Tara to giggle. “Just for a minute, come on.”

Your noses rubbed together as Tara leaned into you.

“No..”

“Yeah..”

“Noo..”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Noooo…” She hated how much she wanted to say yes to you.

“Yesss,” your smile never falters through this yes and no battle. You looked at how Tara looked away for a moment before looking back at you with a smile she was visibly fighting and in that moment you knew you won.

“...I better be home before Sam is.”

—

When you land back on Tara’s fire escape, she’s clinging onto you for dear life while her face's buried in your chest. You smile down at her as you tell her, “We’re back by the way,” resisting the urge to place a kiss on her head.

“Yeah—yeah I knew that,” she replied, slowly pulling away from you.

You can’t help but chuckle at her shooken state. “Oh, you think this is funny? We were so high up—a drop that high is deadly, Y/N.”

“You think I’d drop ya?”

“No, cause’ then Sam would bury you alive.”

“Speaking of Sam,” you’re both fully in the room now as you look at her bedroom door and then back at Tara, “Looks like she’s not here…”

“Y/N…”

“Tara…”

“I already let you swing me around while a billion feet in the air; you’re still needy for my attention?” She teased, slightly tilting her head.

“What, you don’t wanna hang out with me?” You teased back.

You’re now directly in front of her, Tara’s legs hit the back of the bed and you can feel her breath on yours. Your hands end up on her hips and her left hand lightly cups your jaw.

In a husky voice you begin, “Tara, you have no idea–"

Suddenly the front door can be heard opening, the various locks twisting and turning. You and Tara looked at each other before Tara shoved you under the bed. Footsteps came closer and closer until Sam opened the door to find her sister sitting at her desk, headphones in, and pen in hand.

Tara turned to look at the door, pulling out her headphones when she made eye contact with Sam. “Oh, hey Sam. I was just finishing up this paper,” Tara said innocently, giving the paper a single tap with her pen.

Sam slightly nodded, looking around—Tara noticed this. “Did you need something?” Tara asked the older Carpenter.

“Uh, no—no, I just thought I heard something. Anyways,” Sam slightly shook her head, “got you that ice cream. It’s in the freezer when you want it.”

“Thanks, Sam. Love you,” Tara responded. “Love you too,” Sam said back with a smile before leaving the room but not without taking one more scan of the room.

You waited another minute before crawling out from under her bed.

“That was a close one, bug girl.”

“Is that gonna be a permanent nickname?”

“You bet it is, bug girl."

You playfully rolled your eyes, a smile grazing your face when you see her dimples show. "You're lucky you're cute," you tell her.

"Oh? Would you rather me call you my savior?" Tara jokingly batted her eyelashes at you.

You bit lip in thought. "It's got a ring to it..."

"Yeah, no. 'Think I'm sticking with bug girl for now."

"Worth a shot," you shrugged before walking over to her,"Now...where were we?"

"You were leaving–"

"Mmm, no. That' not what I recall."

Before Tara could respond, you began placing kisses that travled to her jaw then neck, making her knees grow weak as you slowly lead her to the bed until her back softly hit the mattress.

You hovered above her while she gratefully accepted your touch, holding onto your biceps while you continued to kiss her.

"Y/N, my sister's right outside. And if you've forgotten; she has a warrant out for your 'wall crawling vigilante ass'—her words, not mine," Tara said, breath hitching as you continued to kiss her neck.

You stopped mid kiss, looking around the room then slightly frowned, furrowing your eyebrows as you looked back at her. "Is she here in the room with us...? Cause I don't see her."

"Y/N..."

"Tara..."

Tara let out a light sigh, raising one of her hands to cup your jaw. "Five. Minutes." She told you, holding your jaw with a gentle yet firm grip.

"Yes ma'am."

-----------

A/N: R because she didn't pack extra web fluid like Tara told her to:

#tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter x y/n #tara carpenter x female reader #tara x reader #tara carpenter x spider reader #spider reader #tara carpenter #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #jenna marie ortega #scream fanfic #scream

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qu1cks1lversb1tch · 8 months ago

Text

A Deal | Vox x Gen Z Reader

A/N— Decided to turn my little drabble into a little series of one-shots based off of ideas I come up with and any requests y'all may have for it 💅🏻 ALSO a huge thank you to @writteninlunarlight-years for the idea that inspired me to kickstart the series! It's very much 'enemies to lovers' core (kinda, I guess?), but I have no idea how far this will go lol. Hope everyone enjoys this — sorry it took so long :)

Warnings: Reader is implied female, Valentino existing, mentions of souls being owned, reader is close to being an overlord

Word Count: 1,724

Summary: You were a growing threat — and what better way to keep an eye on said threat, than to have you start living under the same roof as three of the most influential overlords in Hell? This is only the beginning. . .

Since your arrival to Hell, things had been nothing short of interesting — from your offers that couldn't be refused, all the way to the demon's that warily approached or backed off when you were near.

It was quite the spectacle.

You were quickly rising within the ranks of Hell, from a mere sinner to damn near an overlord — for all the souls you claimed in a few short months. It was noticeable — your social climbing.

What you hadn't expected was two overlords reaching out in the same day, both itching for some sort of deal.

You'd heard whispers of the feared Radio Demon and practically laughed at the thought of people being scared of him — sure his smile was off-putting, but other than that, you didn't really see the hype.

So when he approached you outside of the Café you'd began to frequent, striking up casual conversation as if you were old friends, you quickly understood what was going on.

He was powerful. You were becoming more powerful. He offered guidance and you knew there was a 'but' coming.

When it dropped, you sighed, before sipping on your warm beverage.

"I can offer you guidance, and in return, I want your soul as a pledge of undying loyalty, my dear!" He made a hand motion, as if he planned on writing your name in the stars — could you even see the stars from Hell?

"I'm sorry — but other than guidance, what do I get out of it? I've done well on my own for the last six months."

Protection. Respect. Free housing. It had almost been tempting — especially the free housing, especially in that economy. . . But in the end, you had told him that you'd think about it.

In reality, you wouldn't.

Giving up your freedom for half the shit you could get on your own? He had you fucked up.

Then there was Vox; the wide open rival of Alastor. You'd actually seen him around, having been in a couple clubs he was coincidentally visiting at the same time.

When he approached you, it was three hours later and you were actively sending a message to the group chat of demons whose souls you owned, over Sinstagram. You were simply reminding them of the consequences if they took the food that CLEARLY had your name written on it.

You didn't care that you were sitting in a restaurant — if any of them touched that leftover sub quarter, you'd kill them, and not in a funny or ironic way. You'd actually kill them double dead with no return.

When you looked up, he questioned your business with 'the fossil' and was met with a blank stare rather than words.

He clarified that he meant Alastor.

"Oh. I don't have any." You replied simply, reading the few messages that popped up on screen.

At the revelation, he was pleased and began listing off all of the things he could provide that Alastor 'would fail miserably at'.

Money. Protection. Respect. A sounding board for ideas. Anything your heart desired. All at a small cost of being under his surveillance almost 24/7.

That snatched your attention away from the two demons who began arguing in their native languages. Did you understand them? Fuck no. Would you be translating that later? Abso-fuckin-lutely.

"And what's in it for you?" You asked the TV demon. You didn't like the thought of being under surveillance and having little to no privacy, but his deal had already been sweetened by Vox not wanting your soul.

"Power all the way around. With my influence, you can be a billion times better than that staticky prick. You'll practically have demons begging on their knees."

"Tempting." You admitted.

"What do you think?"

"Eh, fuck it. Why the hell not?"

From there it was a flurry of events — you remembered eating, but then you were leaving with Vox and then quickly found yourself in a meeting room with the other Vees and shit you had to sign, stating that you wouldn't spill any details of the inner workings of any of the three companies.

Who did he take you for?

Once you read each document thoroughly, making sure it wasn't a contract for your soul, you signed your name on the tablets screen and sat back in your seat, pulling out your phone to begin translating the argument from the beginning.

"Great! Ground rules — our private spaces are off limits unless we explicitly tell you otherwise, that includes bedrooms, offices, and basically everything that isn't a —"

"Uh-huh, got it." You mumbled — snorting at the beyond creative insults that began to flood the screen in English.

"Listen—"

"It's my nap time, TV boy. If you can put this conversation in a text, do it." You sighed, stretching your limbs. They popped as you stood — who showed these fuckers how to make gifs of each other?

Oh.

You did. HA!

"You know I can kill you, right?" Vox questioned, his claws digging into the table.

"So could a really motivated duck — or a Canadian goose. Those things are straight out of Hell, Box."

"It's Vox." He growled.

Ooh spicy. "Whatever —"

"Can you be serious for five minutes?"

"Ok boomer."

His screen glitched and his claws dug further into the desk as he stared at you.

Velvette barked a laugh and looked away from her phone long enough to see Vox on the verge of malfunctioning, a smirk slipping onto her face. "Can we keep her? I like this one."

"This one's more tolerable than the last." Valentino mused, blowing his smoke into the air. He leaned forward in his seat, uncrossing his legs. "And we don't even know her name."

"The name's Y/N. Don't wear it out." You winked before turning around and exiting the door you had been ushered through, however long ago. The moment the door closed, you heard Vox angrily talking with Velvette and Valentino, who were much calmer than the TV overlord.

Oh, this will be fun. A good idea, for sure.

Thirty minutes later, when you were in the room Vox had told you was yours, both Velvette and Valentino followed you on Sinstagram before adding you to the Vees official group chat.

Your first week living with the Vees went by rather quickly — of course, you respected their privacy as requested, spending most of your time in your room or the common areas which mostly consisted of the kitchen, living room, and game room.

Still, you'd managed to piss Vox off three more times, and got Velvette and Valentino to join in without trying.

Velvette quickly picked up your terminology, calling Vox a boomer at any given opportunity. It pissed him off to no end. Valentino had only done it twice, mostly because they both spent a lot of time working and only interacted with Vox when he had the time to.

Within the first seventy-two hours, you noticed the weird obsession Vox had with Alastor and you sarcastically quoted a scene from a movie at dinner that night.

"Is this love, Agent Romanoff?"

And he had looked at you weirdly, pausing mid rant. Later you had to explain to the other two that it was from a movie — and who Agent Romanoff was.

Vox avoided you mostly, which you chalked up to him thinking you were annoying. Good.

By the end of the first month, Velvette had you chilling with her while she worked, usually with you being the sounding board for her ideas.

More often than not, you had good ideas.

That little fact prompted her to throw you a sketch book, telling you to get to work.

You were getting paid to be there, so whatever.

When you weren't with Velvette, you were declining Valentino's countless invitations to sit with him while he worked — you wanted nothing to do with that. Porn wasn't really your thing, even when you were alive, but you had a bunch of friends who were super into it.

Instead you went out alone, claiming you were getting lunch for yourself. You'd get lunch, after making a few deals with wayward demons who would thrive under your influence.

That one particular day, you hadn't noticed either presence behind you, until a fight broke out, causing you to turn around to see Alastor and Vox going at each other's throats — and not in an interesting way.

You somehow broke it up just after Alastor cracked Vox's screen.

"Why the fuck are you here?" You bit out harshly, directed at the two overlords who now stood three feet apart like scolded children, neither pleased to be there.

"You left without saying anything." Vox crossed his arms.

"You hadn't reached out, my dear." Alastor hummed, distastefully glancing over at the TV demon.

You groaned, throwing your head back. "Listen, get the fuck over yourselves! At this rate, I answer to Velvette, not the two of you boomers. Got it?"

Alastors eyes began to twitch as static filled the air, whereas Vox's cracked screen glitched as you walked away.

Later, when Vox approached you, you noticed that his screen was fixed. That was good.

"Got a minute, [Y/N]?" He questioned.

You looked up from the sketch book in hand and nodded, mumbling 'sure' as you closed it. You were tired from the long day.

So his next question caught you off guard.

"Why do you do this to me?"

"Do what?"

"Why do you purposely piss me off? You get along with everyone else, yet you call me names and disrespect my entire existence. Why?"

You sighed, not really having a real answer. "That's just the way I am, how I've always been. . . And in my defense, I call everyone names. . . Not just you. So, don't think you're special, Box—"

"— Vox —"

"I'm a bitch to everyone, just most don't realize it because their bitch scale broke a long time ago. Now, go. I have shit to do that doesn't involve stroking your fragile ego."

Vox wasn't sure what it was, but he knew he was going to keep a closer eye on you. What was so different about you?

You were close enough in biological age to Velvette, yet while there were similarities, there were so many differences. . . He wasn't sure what to think about any of it. Especially with you climbing up the power ladder.

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billiedeansbitch · 1 year ago

Text

𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐞 (𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰)-𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐

(𝐋𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐚 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐱 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

<< PREVIOUS PART

Chapter summary: Two things came: Larissa's orgasm and her lab results.

Notes: Some plot is plottin' huh? *Smirks*

Tw: light mentions of depression and grief. Character death (not significant). Homophobia.

*Not beta read*

“Oi, kid, we’re goin’ out for drinks, you gonna come or what?”

“Nah, I can’t, sorry. I’m going home to Jericho.”

“A wife waitin’ on ya?”

“Uh, no,” a pause to shake your head, “but someone special.” You then added and nodded, agreeing with yourself as you thought of the other shapeshifter.

Your co-worker patted you on the shoulder with a resigned sigh, “All right, suit yourself.” he left the room, a toothpick hanging off his lips.

You beamed to yourself, shoving your stuff into your bag and turned off your monitor. It oddly felt nice to admit these things not only to yourself but to others, letting them know that you weren’t available in some way…

The office was almost empty, looking around you everyone had clocked out already leaving you and the janitor alone.

It had been a busy week, the last time you saw Larissa was Tuesday morning at five am, she was loosely wrapped in her kimono-style robe, softly gazing at you as you pulled your car off her driveway and before you could drive away she called out to bid you a goodbye kiss. It was something that had your head in the cloud for days, a parting gift that made your insides all tingly and warm and now, you couldn’t wait to go see her.

These last few weeks had been surreal, you two had been spending more and more time together, more intimate than being casual but could you really blame yourself? Hell, anyone would kill to be in your position. Larissa was the dream, she was everything and to be able to do these things to her, hold her hand, kiss her, make her smile were your absolute fantasy all coming true.

You worry sometimes, yes, that maybe things weren’t as real to her as it was to you and try as you might to ignore it, it dampened your mood all the same, but hey, she said she liked spending time with you if that was anything to go by.

Your phone pinged once you were off the expressway turning to a smaller road leading to Jericho. The notification showed “Not your wife” and your grin couldn’t get any bigger, you quickly swiped the notification and it redirected you to messages. Of course she didn’t know that was what you saved as her contact name, she didn’t need to know that or the one you save before that “friends with consequences”

Not your wife:

Will you be coming over tonight?

(Larissa was biting her lip when she sent that text)

Then three dots appeared. She was typing. You were glancing from time to time waiting but she never sent another text then it disappeared. So you quickly typed a short reply, “omw”

You received a cute emoji showing thumbs up and you giggled, finding it oddly charming of her before it was followed by: “Careful driving. Be safe and keep your eyes on the road.”

–

She kissed you first, or maybe you did, it didn’t matter as you two ended up on the couch in the living room with her underneath you, her fingers playing with the hem of your shirt while her lips pressed open mouthed kisses all over your neck.

“Missed me too much?”

Larissa responded by stealing the breath out of your lungs and kissed you hard, “I think that confirms it,”

She was needy, you could tell, by the way she groped your chest once your shirt flung off and as much as it excites you and made your libido sprung to the roof, you couldn’t help the nagging thought that there was at least something wrong.

“I need you,” she had her hand on your waist while the other was busy expertly undoing your belt, “Please,” the way she pleaded against the skin your neck, her breath hot, as she shoved her hand under your pants had you grinding your hips against her, anything that was in your head quickly faded.

And if you thought she had already caught you off guard, then you were mistaken because when she uttered the next words right into your ear that was when you completely lost it.

“Are you going to be a good girl and fuck mommy hard?”

It was your turn to bury your face into her neck as you sucked a breath, “Yes, mommy.” as shiver ran down your spine and before you knew it, you shifted yourself, holding just the tip against her centre.

“Wait. I need you to use this from now on every time you shift. Is that okay?”

“A condom? But…okay. Yes, of course.”

“Good girl,”

You could do nothing but obey like a pet.

–

“Thank you. I needed that.” You were still on top of her, skin to skin. You had a proud smile on your face, her delicate fingers combing through your damp roots.

“I needed it, too.” She leaned, kissing the tip of your nose.

“There’s a store bought rotisserie chicken in the fridge, you can heat that up and I made salad. You know your way around, right?”

“We’re not eating together?” The disappointment was too thick in your voice and Larissa tried to soothe the visible frown on your face by gently caressing your brow bone with her thumb.

“I still have a lot of work to do. The sooner you let me work, the sooner I am finished and after that I will be all yours. You think you can be good and wait for me while I work?”

The idea of her being all yours did a little bit of magic, casting away the frown as your blush deepened.

“Yeah but can I stay in your office? I’ll be quiet. I’ll just probably read a book or something, please?”

A small smile flourished on her face, “We can give it a try.” Because knowing you, and herself, neither of you would last that long without being distracted and she really needed to work.

“Okay.”

You both laid for five minutes more, basking in the comfort of each other’s warmth and silence that engulfed the room bringing peace into your minds.

–

You kept your words and stayed quiet as possible, even the shifting to a new page was ever so silent. You didn’t know what you were reading, the words weren’t really processing at all but you needed it to keep your hands physically occupied to sell your act not that you think she was buying it anyway.

From time to time your eyes stray from the page of the book to the woman behind the desk, observing how the lines on her face deepened when she was making a face or how she would scoff while she read an email or something that definitely pulled a reaction from her. Which then made you giggle behind the pages especially when she would squint so hard before eventually leaning on the screen of her laptop because she was too stubborn to put her glasses on or the way she dominantly used her index finger to navigate her phone screen like any middle-aged person you knew.

It was all something you had grown so fond of over the months, you didn’t know if it was the obvious gaps in your ages that had you so drawn to her but that certainly played a part behind these reasons of why you were feeling more and more entangled with her like you could really see her staying in your life for good this time.

When you thought there was nothing for you anymore after losing your family to an accident just merely a week later when your girlfriend dumped you for some guy. You were ready to succumb to these bad habits. You had already started in fact. Your tolerance for alcohol was getting stronger and your fixation to cigarettes was growing out of control. You were wallowing in your own loss and depression day by day until she came and saved you. It literally felt like being scooped into her arms and being cradled on her lap while she spread tiny kisses all over your face.

When she walked in your parents’ house after the funeral you just…your mind took your back from your seventeen year old self.

The others were blocked in your head, their voice vaguely registering. You watched the crowd part, erupting into curious whispers and measuring glances.

Earlier that day as the caskets were getting buried, you had caught a fleeting glimpse of her, you blinked it away, too occupied with overwhelming loss and grief but when you saw her in clear daylight as the sun shone brightly, basking the room in the first golden rays of the sun after a gloomy rain dressed and accessorised in black strutting her way in the middle of the parted crowd, you couldn’t rip your gaze off even if you tried.

Something ignited within you that day. This hopeless, massive crush you had for her came back like it hadn’t been a decade since you last saw her and maybe yes, it would have been an awful timing yet you found it as a perfect distraction and she gladly provided that.

You remembered her smile, the soft hand she put on your shoulder and the little squeeze. You remembered not breathing and just awkwardly staring at her while she told you the fondest memory she had of your parents.

When the reception was over and mostly everyone had bid you their goodbyes, she lingered offering you help to clean the place.

And after that, maybe weeks or a month later, you reached out to her (thank God you didn’t lose the card she gave you) asking her out for a drink.

To your surprise, she agreed.

Larissa wasn’t around much when your parents were still alive and you were living on the same roof as them. She came to visit once or twice and you never spent much time with her, always locked up in your room or out with your friends, though there was this one particular night when she came for dinner wearing red suited for her skin and that smile and radiant eyes just spoke to you, they were stealing your attention and for the rest of the evening you couldn’t help but blush whenever she glance your way that was when you knew you had a crush on her

You didn’t think of it as inappropriate then, it was after all, just a silly crush. Something utterly foolish but she grew in your mind. You couldn’t forget about her until you were in your senior year in college, she was all you could think about while you kissed your professor. You craved to see that woman again.

And now you found yourself sitting in her chair, dozing off, the book slipping from your hand and onto the floor, the thud jolted your body to wake and so when you looked up Larissa was done and fixing her table.

“Are you alright?” she asked,

You smiled weakly, “Yeah, I just startled myself.”

You got up, picked the book from the floor and settled it down on the seat. You were on your way to the connecting bathroom, feeling your bladder full.

Larissa’s face was suddenly pale for whatever reason when you entered the bathroom, her heart pounding in her chest until you opened the door and emerged with a pout on your face.

“Is there something wrong?”

“I feel betrayed.”

“Pardon?”

“You didn’t get the hand wash I suggested you, you said you were gonna get it.” The woman looked visibly relieved, you didn’t think much about it, too busy pouting.

“I was supposed to but they didn't have it in stock. I’ll make sure to get it next time when they do. Is that it?”

“No. I hate to inform you that you’re not gettin’ somethin’ tonight.”

She lifted a brow in question,

“My period started just right about now. I can’t believe my body will betray me like this, like man, can’t it wait until I’m outta here? Stupid organs.”

Period meant no shifting. Larissa let out a laugh, shaking her head softly and tilting to the side, a hand on her hip, standing like the statuesque woman she was.

“Who says I’m scared of blood?”

“Don’t be nasty, Miss Weems.”

You laughed and walked toward her, “Come on, let’s get some food in your system, lady.”

“You go ahead. I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be quick. Do heat up the chicken, yes?”

“That chicken better be good.”

—

The chicken was good, surprisingly so that you inhaled the whole thigh like a goddamn cannibal starved for meat. She watched you in the corners of her eyes, smiling down on her food while she ate her portion with more grace and actually chewing.

You did take her advice when Larissa told you to slow down before you choke. After dinner, you insisted on washing the dishes while she sat there with her legs propped up on another chair and enjoying a good glass of wine.

It was the last plate when you felt her, heard her moving, until eventually she was pressed behind you with her lips on your shoulder, the scent of wine strong in her breath.

You nearly dropped the plate in the sink, fingers gone cold and stiff; heart pounding in your chest. One of these days she’d legit give you a heart attack.

“You’re being so good to me,” there was no lust in her voice, only the kind of warmth that pleasantly stirred your guts. You wished it was the wine talking, though you knew that a single glass of red wouldn’t induce these thoughts.

Maybe this was the scary part. It was easier when her desires were prominent in her touch, the way it dripped down in her voice because you directly knew what she wanted. But when she was like this? You were out of words, you didn’t know how she wanted you to react and it wasn’t as simple as taking your clothes off every time she’d give you a hungry gaze.

“Don’t tell me, that me, doing the dishes do it for you,” you giggled, tearing some paper towels to dry your hands.

“Don’t get all cocky now if you don’t want to spend a night sleeping on the couch, dear.”

She would never do that. You turned around in her arms, giving her a pout.

“I very much doubt that. You won’t last long without begging me to come back to your bed.”

Your faces were now mere inches apart, “I ought to teach you a lesson one of these days.”

“Oh, is that true, Principal Weems? Or should I say, mommy?” The last word was mouthed against her lips, not quite touching but close enough that you felt her body tensed.

You thought you won this little game but the smile was quickly gone when you felt her wrapped her hand around your throat. You swore your brain short circuited. Your thoughts, reduced to nothing.

She leaned, making sure her lips touched yours before she whispered, “Careful, sweet girl.

Your lips parted, welcoming hers as they collided with force. Soon, you were sucking on her tongue and feeling every inch of her.

“The wine tastes better in your mouth.”

Larissa beamed, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, “What should we do tomorrow?” She asked so sweetly as if her tongue hadn’t been shoved in your mouth moments ago.

“I wanna bake. It’s been long since I’ve kneaded something other than your ass or tits.” you hastily groped her ass.

Weems dramatically feigned a gasp, “Such a foul mouth, darling.” She tsked.

“Those words were not even one percent of the filthy things you’ve said to me.”

It drew a smirk to her face, proving your words to be true. Her eyes narrowing down at you.

“Should I remind you where my mouth has been lately?” You said, your fingers playing with the button of her blouse. The flirty lilt in your voice was easily matched with her eyes.

“Mhm.” It was all it took to get you down on your knees, one of her thighs prompted up to your shoulder.

“So wet already, huh? All of this is just for me, right?”

–

The bedroom lights were dimmed, Larissa was unpinning her hair, now in her robe as she sat in front of her vanity and you were laying with your stomach under on the bed, watching her. Her eyes met yours in the mirror, the expected blush creeped to your cheeks like the many times before.

“Tell me about your day, dear. Did Margie or Margaret—whatever her name is—make further advances on you?”

“Her name’s actually Maggie, and yeah, kinda. She bought me another coffee and asked me if we could eat lunch together. I told her no, I kept the coffee though…”

“Mhmm, and what else?”

“Uh, she told me she’d wait? Like when I’m finally okay and all, which doesn’t make sense because I am okay—great even. And she said that I can come to her if I need a shoulder to cry on. She thinks I’m still grieving. She’s okay as a friend but past that? No thanks. I feel perfectly fine right here plus I’ve got more than a shoulder.”

The last sentence seemed to put a smile on her face so you smiled, too.

Once she was done and dressed, you scooted to your side of the bed to give her space. Larissa opened her arms, motioning for you to come closer so you did, wrapping your arms around her torso with your head nestled perfectly comfortable on her chest.

For months Larissa was firm on keeping things light, she never asked or demanded anything from you. She understood what she was, and where she stood. Your thoughts were your own for the longest, but as, whatever this was in between you, went on for longer than she was prepared for, she found herself caring for you enough to ask what she had been dying to since the beginning.

“Do you miss them?”

Larissa felt the air grew heavy, not necessarily awkward, only it was hard for her to breathe when you went quiet like this. She could feel you thinking, so she held you tight, afraid you’d leapt out of her arms and bolt away.

Then you breathed the word out like a confession you had been keeping for so long that it’d break you if held it in for one more second, “Yes,”

“I’m sure they’re proud of the woman you have become.”

“I’m not so sure about that. They never approved of any of this. They viewed my happiness as a sin. So, no, I don’t think they are but it would have been nice if they did.”

There was so much hidden pain, well concealed by the smile that could have easily fooled her, but the long pauses and the way you avoided her gaze gave it away.

“Plus they didn’t want me pursuing my, you know, ability. They had always been appalled by the thought of having a freak daughter. They were a couple of hypocrites if you ask me. They celebrated others but they kept me in the dark. Always telling me to be normal. I never knew why they treated me like that.”

Larissa couldn’t believe this. Your parents were good people (now she doubted that) they attended charity events for the school and donated a fortune, they seemed enthralled by the outcast community so to hear this from you, she was heartbroken. To think that they did this to their own daughter… She hugged you closer, planting a soft kiss on the top of your head. Her heart was aching like it was a physical pinch.

“That's why I left the soonest I could. They were suffocating me.”

It was hell, that decision forced you to endure a heightened level of stress and struggles, it showed you what real exhaustion was like when you thought you had enough of it while sitting on your desk at two in the morning rushing to do your maths homework.

You wanted to laugh about it now until your belly hurts. You wanted your parents to see wherever on earth or beyond they were, that you were finally at peace, that you had somehow ended up with the decent life they said you could never have just because of you who were.

You caught yourself going too far with your thoughts when you felt Larissa gently squeezed you, wordlessly checking if you were okay.

“It’s fine. It was something I had to live with until I no longer needed to.”

Larissa chose the silence over further speaking out her thoughts. Your emotions were obviously high, she didn’t want it to reign over you although you were considerably calm but who knew what else was going on in your head right now and she’d rather not risk it.

Aside from holding you impossibly close, the shapeshifter sought for your hand and linked your fingers together making you grin like a fool against her. You weren’t big on physical intimacy before, thought of it as gross at some point, but that was because you didn’t have intimate relationships with anyone and seeing others do it without understanding what it really felt like made the idea so repulsive and overrated.

Now you craved it. You welcomed it as long as it was from her.

“Rissa?”

“Hm, yes?”

“I want blueberry pancakes for breakfast.”

The woman chuckled, the vibrations going straight to your ear, filling you with positive energy and so much happiness.

“Alright, we’ll have blueberry pancakes in the morning.”

“Thanks.”

–

Earlier that week…

“Larissa Weems?” She stood up from the waiting room as soon as she heard her name being called.

The staff held out the brown envelope with a smile too pleasant for it to be true. It irked her.

She had been on edge the second she came in, and so, Larissa didn’t return anything warmly, instead she was like a cat baring her teeth to anyone who’d dare to make small talk with her like the young couple who was sitting close to her talking her ears off.

She snatched the envelope too roughly with her gloved hand. She didn’t thank anyone or even offered a polite smile. As soon as she had it she went straight for exit leaving everyone stunned and exchanging looks.

“Someone’s dick is getting cut off tonight.” Someone's husband joked, earning a jab on his ribs from his wife.

She heard that but she didn’t care.

Larissa sat in her car, it was still parked behind the clinic, she held the envelope and ripped it open.

It was her copy of the results. HCG test results.

There were two pages, Larissa skimmed over the first part with her heart racing and her breath shaking.

Larissa was forced to hold her breath as she muttered the words aloud.

“hCG Level: 13 mUI/ml”

“An hCG level between 6 and 24 mIU/mL may require retesting or further evaluation.”

When she realized her period was delayed she pondered if this was what her Doctor debriefed from their last encounter as a premature menopause, however she lacked certain signs and symptoms to further support the idea.

That was how she knew she had to take the tests. So while you peacefully slept, Larissa took two from her cabinet and did it in her office bathroom.

They came out negative. Of course they were, she wanted to laugh at herself for thinking otherwise. It would have been impossible to conceive knowing you were biologically a female but at what extent did science draw the line? Especially if being an outcast affected it and some supernatural shit.

She couldn’t be so sure so right after you left that morning, she drove to the next town and had it done there.

She thought having it printed in papers with charts and numbers would make her feel better.

It didn’t.

Oooh so the results came and it's somehow tricky because it's not low enough to be negative but all not high enough to positive...

Hmmm and they're using condoms now 🫢

Anyway, thank you so much for everyone who had good things to say about this fic and to those who wanted another part :)) I appreciate it all :))

#larissa weems x reader #larissa weems #larissa weems imagine #principal larissa weems #gwendoline christie imagines #larissa weems smut #Some g!p action #billiedeansbitch

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sc0tters · 26 days ago

Text

Littlest C | Alex Turcotte

summary: at the lake house is it finally time for you both to confront your feelings, or just remain roommates forever?

request: yes/no

trope: brothers best friend

warnings: minimal swearing

word count: 3.15k

authors note: I haven't written for Alex in a long time and I have to say out of all of the 500 celly pieces that were left needing to be writte, this was one of the ones I most looked forward to. Luke and Trevor in this might have been my favourite things to write.

You were always meant to just be Cole’s little sister.

The one who tried so desperately to join in on those late night games of pool that the boys had in the basement. The one who remained Cole’s biggest supporter throughout his career and the events leading up to it.

You were meant to be this untouchable entity that he had promised to protect with his life as you settled into LA. Now ten months in with you living down the hall in his apartment, Alex was ready to butcher that promise entirely.

Not because he wanted to put you into harms way, but instead because he was craving your company in a way that would make Cole put him six feet under. Alex found you changing from his best friend’s little sister, who he remembered with braces and those godawful comebacks when Cole pushed your buttons. Now you were freshly twenty and in the thick of college, and a full on woman. Possibly not in the form of experiences but you had grown into your body and now had this fiery personality.

You made Alex feel weak in the knees 9/10 times but as time went on, he knew he was fucked. Because for him, you were all that he wanted.

So with the constant thought of Cole literally killing him, Alex started to pull away from you about three months ago. Sure he couldn’t make it too obvious as he still had to live under the same roof as you, but he started to realise that it was a lot easier if he spent nights away from you. Having a girl in his bed that wasn’t you, made it just bearable to push you out of his mind. And it helped that you were close to finishing your semester.

It was a plan that actually managed to work, or at least it did until the both of you ended up at the lake house, where the risks increased tenfold when you seemed to only pack swimsuits. This year Luke had invited you along as your brothers spent so much time together, it was only right that the two of you eventually became friends “Lukey!” Your cheered seeing the boy walk out of the house.

His grin matched yours as he practically raced down the stairs, leaving his brother’s friends up on the porch “took you damn long enough.” He laughed pulling you into a hug “yeah don’t worry bout me, I’ll get all your damn bags.” Cole grumbled, breaking your hug as you tuned to look at your brother.

There was a shit-eating look on your face “since you asked so nicely.” You joked taking your bag from the older boy.

Alex stood on the porch as his eyes turned to a scowl watching the scene unfold in front of him. He was jealous of the fact that you seemed to be so free when you hugged Luke. The smile on your face as the boy nodded along to whatever you whispered in his ear “missed me Turcotte?” You teased now stood in front of your roommate.

The familiar scent of your perfume was captured in his nostrils as he shook his head “please I get to now sit in silence.” His words were cheerful as you reached over to flick his arm with a scoff.

It was masked by a grin that spread across your face “know ya missed me.” Your voice was soft as you pulled him into a hug, he knew it was wrong but he couldn’t help but want to moan at the smell of your familiar shampoo.

The very same shampoo that he had used the last three weeks before he left the apartment because of how much he had missed you. Cole gagged at the sight “you want to let go of each other, or should we just stand out here all day?” His question made Trevor smirk as he saw how Alex’s cheeks turned red when he let his arms drop from around you as you rolled your eyes “don’t be jealous your friends like me more than you.” You were amused as Cole put his sweaty hat on your head which made you groan.

That made the boy laugh “it’s good to be back!” Cole cheered as he walked into the house.

Luke walked up and grabbed your bag from you “we are in a new room this time.” He was excited to show the girl the room as this year they weren’t fighting the other guys for the bathroom this year.

Trevor kept Alex on the porch as the rest of the group trickled inside. He had seen how Alex’s eyes didn’t seem to leave you until you turned to go upstairs “you sure you aren’t sleeping with her?” The question made the hairs on the back of Alex’s neck stand up. It was something that the Ducks player had joked about more than once after he had seen you in one of Alex’s old Kings hoodies when you all went to dinner. What he refused to believe was the fact that you were cold, and it was the only thing that was in Alex’s car.

But as Alex stayed silent it made the younger boy think that he was right “I don’t give a shit.” Trevor confessed as he was just more curious as to if he was indeed right or not “I just don’t think that it would be the best thing if Cole found out.” Alex felt his cheeks turn red at the idea of Cole finding out. Because if Trevor connected the wrong dots, then who was to say someone wouldn’t connect the right ones?

Alex shook his head “I am not sleeping with her.” He mumbled wishing that he could have been lying as he said that.

You were reminded of the joy of being with your best friend as he shut the door behind you both “you finally tell him?” Luke asked as he sat on his bed.

He had known about the crush you had on Alex since you confessed to him about how you had a wet dream about the Kings player when he was thankfully on a roadie. Luke was able to remind you that it was a one-time thing, but then it became more like a weekly thing before you accepted that you definitely had feelings for him.

Luke had been convincing you that you needed to tell him about it before it was all too late, “I can’t,” you sighed, letting yourself drop onto the bed next to him “my friend found his profile on hinge, and he keeps on going on these dates.” You groaned, kicking your legs as Luke lay flat next to you.

The boy stared at the frown on your face “either tell him about how you want to rip his clothes off-“ his words were cut off when you grabbed the pillow from next to you and hit him with it.

It made him laugh as he took the pillow and propped himself up with it “you didn’t have to say it verbatim.” He shot back, looking at your suitcase, “and if you don’t want to say it, then encourage him to be the one to do it.” Luke added, bending down to show you exactly what he had planned.

It was day three of your time at the lake house and Alex hadn’t been able to interact with you much. Not out of choice though, because every time he wanted to talk to you Cole seemed to step in. And earlier that morning a boy from down the road seemed to pique your interest.

His name might have been Brad, Chad, Thad or whatever, really. Alex just knew that he didn’t like the boy or how his eyes seemed to be stuck on your breasts. That part Alex couldn’t exactly blame him for because you knew how to pick a great bikini, but Alex at least knew you were so much more than just a good body. And that was something that this boy definitely didn’t appreciate.

The boys had finally left the house as they were going to a bar “you should come with.” The offer was sent with a smile but was cut short “sorry dude, we’re in the middle of a darts tournament.” Alex’s voice came from behind you.

That was true, the last few evenings the guys had found that a game of darts was a great little competition “why don’t you just get Luke to stand in for you.” The boy in front of you ignored Alex “I’ve got bad aim.” Luke was definitely the worst out of all of you but you weren’t about to leave the boys.

When you let out a sigh Alex knew you were staying “maybe some other night?” You offered, which made the boy nod. Alex wanted to cheer as he saw ChadBrad, whom he now opted to refer to leave the house.

Luke sent you a smile before he walked away from you both “you two seem to be close?” Alex was certain he knew the answer, but still he asked the question “he is a nice guy Al.” You shrugged as you placed your hands on your hips.

This felt like the longest you two had properly spoken since your arrival “you feeling neglected by me?” Alex wanted to scream, of course, but he opted to remain stoic “of some frat boy?” He forced out a laugh as he watched you lick your lips.

At that moment, he was so close to dropping his head to kiss that smirk off of your face “Turcs, you want a new beer?” Trevor called out as he walked into the room almost cutting himself off as he looked at the sight with a grin on his face “can get you something too if you want it.” His eyes locked with yours as you shook your head.

Your hand brushed against Alex’s side “I think Luke has my drink Z.” You nodded your head at him before you left the boys.

It took him until you were no longer in earshot to turn back to Alex “if you’re not sleeping with her then you like her.” He finally connected the dots as his eyes lit up “shush!” Alex placed his hand on the younger boys mouth.

When it seemed that Trevor wasn’t going to talk anymore Trevor ran his tongue across his friend’s palm “ew!” Alex shrieked, almost jumping away when he wiped his hand on his shorts “you’re fucking disgusting.” Alex grumbled as he shook his head.

Trevor just smirked in response “take it she doesn’t know about it?” He asked as Alex scoffed “of course she doesn’t!” He went to hit him but when Cole walked into the lounge area making them both freeze.

Cole raised his eyebrows as he watched them both turn to him “you two are so weird.” Cole muttered to himself before he shook his head, turning back to go where he came from “you can’t tell anyone.” Alex warned Trevor knowing that all the boys could soon hear about it.

He raised his hands in defence “my lips are sealed.” Trevor was honest as he said “all I ask is that if you end up dating her just let me be the godfather to your future babies.” The words made Alex groan as Trevor patted him on the back before he was left alone.

The rest of that evening was calm, but by the next day Alex was ready to kill Trevor for the constant looks “how much are you putting in, sis?” Cole called out as you walked out of the sliding doors.

You looked up from your phone as you smiled “for what?” You cocked your head seeing Quinn hold a notepad and pen “we are all betting on who is going to be the most drunk tonight.” He explained as you let out a soft laugh.

The Fourth of July always seemed to be the day that everyone got flat-out drunk at the lakehouse. People played music till the early hours of the next morning, and drinking was a great partner to dancing till your feet hurt.

Your fingers rubbed together “I’ll put twenty on Cole.’ You watched as your brother’s face dropped, acting as if you had just spoiled the ending of Game of Thrones again.

Quinn nodded, writing down your bet “let me get my wallet so I can cash in on this.” You grinned sending Cole a wink “I want to change my bet to be on her.” Was the last thing you heard before you went back into the house.

The place was empty with few reminders of last night’s dart game on the table as they had turned a shot glass into a miniature trophy for Quinn.

You walked out of the car wanting to grab your handbag “look dude I’m telling you I know what I am doing.” The boy you had been talking to was on the phone by his own car “I am gonna get her to fuck me by the end of the night, and then I’ll leave her.” His words made you freeze as you knew he was talking about you.

But it didn’t stop there “being around all those guys she has got to be easy.” You had finally had enough as you turned around to go back inside.

You walked straight into a chest that you recognised from many early mornings, rushing to get ready for lectures. Alex had been behind you after he saw you frozen on the porch when he went to grab his own wallet. Based on his reaction, he too, had heard the majority of what you had “sorry.” Your words were soft as you dropped the keys on the porch and pushed past him to go back into the house.

Alex leaned down to pick them up as he knew what you needed to grab “what an asshole.” Sure, Alex loved being right, but at the point of you being hurt, he would have wished that maybe this time he was wrong.

You knew you were stupid for getting all upset about Micheal telling his friends that he thought he would get into your pants before the end of the night “there you are.” Alex let out a sigh as he saw you hidden between your bed and Luke’s “just wanted some quiet.” You confessed as you pursed your lips together making the boy frown when he placed your bag on your bed.

He could see the hurt that laced your face “he doesn’t know what he is talking about.” Alex mumbled making turn to look him in the eye.

An irritated laugh escaped your lips “maybe he should have been.” You grumbled as you turned to finally face him “no any guy would be fucking lucky to have you.” He walked towards you but you still shook your head.

The hockey player watched as you rubbed your face with your hands “you’re only saying that because you’re friends with Cole and are my roommate.” After all, it would have been a little weird if he agreed with the boy in front of you and with your brother steps away.

But still, he moved to sit in front of you “have you ever wondered why I started going on those dates when you broke up with your boyfriend?” Alex stood in front of you as you remained silent “cause it sure as hell wasn’t me trying to avoid you.” He laughed at the joke that you had created.

You crossed your arms still showing that you were irritated “you are on my mind all the damn time and it kills me.” The hockey player grabbed your hand and opened his legs to pull you closer to him “don’t say things you don’t mean Al.” Your voice was soft as your facial expressions softened.

His head dropped to rest on the crook of your neck “I’m so fucking in love with you it makes me sick.” His words made your body squirm as you ran your fingers through his hair letting out a giggle.

It made him look up at you with a confused look on his face “me telling you my feelings is funny?” He grumbled wanting to send you a glare.

You brought your hand up to cup his cheek “thought you knew I broke up with him cause I started thinking bout you.” A smile formed on his face as he stood up straight “damn my girl is already smitten.” He teased as you rolled your eyes.

The sound of fireworks having started already echoed in your ears “don’t remember that happening Turcotte.” Your words made him click his tongue “so you didn’t want to rip all my clothes off?” He teased making you realise that he had heard that conversation with Luke.

His smirk made you scoff “careful because I can go find Micheal still.’ You warned making him furrow his eyebrows “who?” He asked as if he had never heard that name in his life.

Your jaw fell agape “the fucking dude who said I’d be a good fuck tonight!” Your words made his eyes go wide “thought his name was Brad.” You laughed as you shook your head “Idiot.” You mumbled, leaning back in to kiss him again.

Your cherry lipgloss was sweet on his tongue as he gripped at your sides “has anyone seen my sister?” Cole’s words echoed through an open window as the two of you were reminded that you weren’t alone.

The older boy pulled away from you as he smiled “think we should get you out there.” Alex tapped your ass as you gasped, “but first let me enjoy the peace with my girl once more.” He pulled you back into his arms knew this wasn’t a sight he was going to get used to.

But as time went on and the relationship grew, and of course Cole tried to kill Alex many times. Alex believed that your relationship was built on the moment when it all became official.

You swore he was sickly cheesy each time he spoke of the story, but Alex saw your relationship as fireworks. You made him feel the joys of each high and low, and it helped that you kept him in check because you’ve got a damn fiery tongue.

But Alex wouldn’t have had it any other way, because he was in love with you and he wouldn’t have believed in soulmates if he didn’t have you. Because in the puzzle that was his life, you made him feel complete.

And it wasn’t to say that he wasn’t just as in love with you as you were with him because Alex would have followed you to the ends of the earth if you asked him to.

#ambers 500 celly #amber writes fics #alex turcotte x reader #alex turcotte imagines #nhl imagines #nhl fics #nhl oneshots #hockey imagines #hockey oneshots

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stevie-petey · 7 months ago

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I have a blurb idea!

A stug sleepover that wasn't set up by Dustin. Lets say Steve's parents are having a dinner party and instead of being degraded in front of his parents'friends he decides to leave and go to bugs house. He crawls up onto her roof and knocks on her window. She opens her curtains and when she sees Steve she just lights up! She scrambles to open the window and let him in. Steve's heart is so warmed because not only is bug elated to see him, but she's in her pajamas and Steve just thinks she looks perfect😭. Remember in the jealous Steve blurb how he said he wishes that one day he could come over and know he's going home, he's finally getting to feel it!!! Maybe bug even lets Steve lay in her bed BUT only for a little while soon he is demoted back to the bean bag. Still it was nice while it lasted.

steve vs windows ,,, he will never win. this isnt exaaaactly the prompt, but i kept the pjs and coming home <3

enjoy !

"im coming over."

"oh, alright." while you hadnt been upset by steves sudden insistence on coming over, the lack of warning had surprised you. normally he'll ask ahead of time, make a plan, but at almost ten at night he had called you saying he was coming over. "drive safe, please."

"always, angel."

that had been nearly fifteen minutes ago.

normally steve is at you house in under ten minutes, so his slight delay worries you. standing at your window, you wait anxiously for any sign of him. your view of where he normally parks is blocked by a house, so all you can do is stare out at the yard in front of you.

thats when you hear the thud, which is followed by a very pathetic "ow."

"hello?' you call out beneath you, squinting against the darkness of the night. you cant see anything, but you know you heard something.

"down here," someone says weakly, and you recognize the voice to be steves.

squinting even harder, you make out the faint outline of his body sprawled on the grass beneath your window. "oh my god." you start trying to climb out your window to go and help, but steve sees and stops you.

"dont come down," hes out of breath, pain still piercing his body.

"but-"

"im fine, just need to-" steve winces as he stands, his shoulder pops and his knees buckle. "god tonight sucks."

he stands before you now, a foot or so beneath you. for once, youre taller than steve, and you enjoy looking down at him. his eyes are almost black in the dim lighting, though the moon casts a soft glow on his tanned skin. summer has made him beautiful.

you reach your hand out and gently fix his hair. "what happened, honey?"

steves heart warms at the touch, he leans into it and closes his eyes. pain be damned, your fingers tug at his hair and steves heart skips a beat. "missed the jump."

"well, obviously."

"it hurt."

"you poor thing."

"can i come in now?"

you giggle and nod, stepping aside so that steve can climb the ledge and into your room. his arms strain, the outline of his biceps can be seen in the night. hes always been so delicate with how he climbs through the window, far from jonathans clunkiness that always alerted your mom of his arrival.

as you watch steve, you sit on your bed and make room for him to join. you havent forgotten about his unexpected call earlier. "is everything okay?"

"what do you mean?" steve takes his shoes off and places them against your wall. he undoes the first three buttons of his shirt, getting comfortable, before he slides into bed next to you with a tired sigh.

you wrap your arms around him, resting your head over his heart like you always do. "you never just randomly show up."

"i called."

"right before leaving."

"same thing."

"steve." you chastise him, place some annoyance in your voice. hes dodging.

steve sighs, knowing hes been caught. "my parents... theyre having some stupid dinner party tonight. needed to get away. they kept asking me about college and why i was still living at home. one women clutched her goddamn pearls."

"im sorry, honey." you hate that so much is expected of him, more than you know is fair. steve has his own job, he takes care of all the kids, he does the best he can with what hes given, and it infuriates you that his father refuses to see that.

"its whatever. figured id come here instead, see my girl."

my girl.

youre steves girl, and he came to you tonight.

"cute pajamas, by the way." steve adds absentmindedly. his fingers pluck at your spider-man shirt. its old and worn, the material thin now from years of use. "spidey looks good on you."

you blush at his words, innate reaction to being so loved by steve harrington, but you know hes also purposely changing he topic. he doesnt want to talk about what happened tonight. hes already opened up to you more than hes wanted to, so you go along with it.

"he does, doesnt he?" you hum, kissing steves ear. he hums at the sensation, arms tightening around you. hes relived youve seen through his ruse, though that doesnt stop you from reminding him of where he belongs. "welcome home, honey."

steves breath catches. his arms tighten even more. a wave of emotions wash over him. love, belonging, sanctity.

"you cant sleep in my bed, though." you break the silence, knowing steve has gotten lost in his thoughts. you want him to laugh, to see him smile. "the bean bag gets lonely at night."

it works. steve chuckles, kisses the tip of your nose. "well, we cant have that, now can we?"

#ask #anon #m speaks #come home blurb #m's writing #set in between seasons 3 and 4 !#richard harrington when i catch u

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lowkeyrobin · 11 months ago

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hiii :з can i request domestic hcs with quackity x reader where they just moved in with each other and basically figuring stuff out about living together

idk what domestic means in this context but I don't think I wanna know

QUACKITY ; living together

summary ; you and alex finally moved in with each other and you're figuring out your new way of life

warnings ; language

genre ; fluff

word count ; 687

masterlist

At last, you and Alex were finally living under the same roof in Los Angeles. You were living in a studio apartment for a while, but finally upgraded to a two story house just outside the main city with your boyfriend.

Money was the first problem that you tackled beforehand, which you got sorted nice and easily. The next was unpacking and buying new furniture.

You'd already took out some loans for new furniture since both of you either didn't have some furniture, or needed to scrap the old stuff you found off eBay for a scarily low price. The trip to the closest furniture store, about three miles away, was horrifying.

You'd never been a stickler with money, but coming up not having much of it sometimes taught you a great amount about fair pricing. However, when you saw a large number, you stood there awkwardly, wondering if you could afford it or if it was even worth it. Alex was the same, but he was more comfortable spending larger amounts of money on bigger things because he understood the expenses a bit better than you did.

All in all, you probably spent about two thousand dollars at that place. You'd ended up finding some good furniture off of eBay that you could go pick up that afternoon, and found a nice and free dresser set out by the road from someone who didn't want it anymore.

The house, now a month later, was finally furnished and you were in charge of decorations while he organized the kitchen and set up the PC's and other electronics. You two hadn't been doing much other than get used to sharing a room and a bed 24/7. You ended up deciding it'd be better to save that room for something else and have your bedrooms and office combined into one. If anyone wanted to snuggle in the night, they'd go to the other person's room.

It was mostly for privacy, and so you wouldn't end up fighting or beating the shit out of each other. You both needed downtime away from each other, a perfectly normal and healthy aspect of a relationship.

The next part, after setting your desktops up and decorating your rooms and whatnot, was getting into the routine of living together and not doing everything independently. Both of you were independent and didn't need to rely on each other, a good thing, but when it came to getting groceries or going out or streaming, talking about it and making decisions together would be the next step in moving forward.

Tiger was a whole conversation in herself. Alex decided he'd take care of her litter box and you decided you'd take care of her food and water. He felt bad making you take care of his cat, but you found no problem with it considering Tiger was like your child already.

The final steps were just getting used to living with each other and boundaries that came with it.

But, over time, everything would go great.

༘⋆₊ ⊹★🔭๋࣭ ⭑⋆｡˚༘⋆₊ ⊹★🔭๋࣭ ⭑⋆｡˚༘⋆₊ ⊹★🔭๋࣭ ⭑⋆｡˚

Quackity appreciated you bringing him food, water, or a hoodie on stream, and you did as well

Tiger walking into your streams >>>

even streaming side by side was a reoccurring thing

often times you'd play uno and have the handcam on in the corner

you'd give each other advice when editing videos and writing scripts

making dinner together with music in the background >>>

especially when he sings along/to you, good lord

you can't go a single day without cackling at each other

fighting and arguments are healthy for a relationship, but with you guys it's never serious, it's either over dumb shit you couldn't care about or you play fight with each other for laughs

sometimes he'll shout at you in Spanish to mess around and you'll stare at him like "tf are you saying"

if you do understand Spanish though, it's war

arts and crafts together go crazy

you start a little vlog channel together as well

it's run by you and he's only there sometimes but still

insta pictures of you two doing dumb shit 24/7

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt x reader #mcyt preferences #mcyt oneshot #quackity x reader #quackity oneshot #quackityhq x reader #quackity #gn reader #gender neutral reader #they/them reader #qsmp x reader

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mcu-fan-fics-blog · 8 months ago

Text

Abstract Love ii

Part 1 Master List Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Shiled Agent Reader Word Count: 1693 aprrox A/N: Hello! I know this is not one of my bigger series update but this one was the one I was most exited to continue. I am currently working on the third part for this one as well. It should be done soon hopefully. (If I can keep the motivation.)

When you started seeing Natasha you realized something very quickly…She was a runner. It was sometimes harsh, but you married her at the end of the day. It became your thing early on, she would run, and you would let her. It was happening again, but there was something very different about this time. Marriage hadn’t kept you on the same side of the accords. “You’re leaving.” It wasn’t a question, just a statement. “Would it even make a difference?” Things had been turbulent and living under the same roof as her had become difficult. She let the question hang in the air. Her mind wondered if this was how you felt every time she left. Helpless and scared. “You know it would, I care for you.” Her voice was soft, but determined. You nodded. As much as you didn’t want to your emotions were starting to get the best of you. So you took a deep breath. “I’ve let you go…” (So many times) Natasha was reading between the lines. She gulped. “I’m asking you to do the same… I’ll be fine.” You said finally meeting her gaze. “You will be too…”

Natasha couldn’t believe she’d put you in this position more times than she was willing to admit. You closed the duffle and moved to leave the room. “Please… Just wait.” She moved out of your way but her words stopped you. You waited a beat then two. “Are you coming back… to me?” Her voice trembled. She had no right to ask, you never had. You trusted she would, but she needed to hear it. And it killed her that she never did tell you she would come back. “If you let me leave…” She had unconsciously moved to stand between you and the door. Natasha's head tilted in frustration. That wasn’t the answer she was looking for. “Yes.” Your eyes met hers fully and she felt your determination. She stepped away from the door. As you were walking out the door she spoke up one last time. “Just remember I’ve always got your back.” She shut the door softly behind you. Tears had started rolling down her cheeks and she couldn’t let you see her like that.

It had been three months. Three months in which everything had gone to hell with the team and with you. You weren’t present at the fight in Germany, her eyes searched for you when the showdown happened. Steve was the first to notice her questioning look. He just shook his head. That fight had been so grueling, not physically but mentally. Watching her closest friends fight pitted against each other by outside forces. It was only when she watched Tony close in on Steve and Bucky, that she realized you were right. It wasn’t worth the fight with each other. She let them escape and shortly after made her escape. She was finally going after you, it was embarrassing how she didn’t realize before. She had barely spent time in your shared home since you’d left if she had she’d have found you much, much sooner. It took her another month to find, the pregnancy test. You’d fallen off the radar leaving a small trail of breadcrumbs just for her to follow.

It only gave her hope, you were waiting for her. You knew it was her the moment you heard the sequence being knocked on the door. The relief you felt was indescribable, it felt like breathing fresh air for the first time, after being underwater for so long. You couldn’t help but smile. You took your time to answer the door. “Why didn’t you tell me?” You didn’t answer the question. Instead, you let her in your new apartment, She couldn’t help but take the place in, the air it smelt like you, like home. “It took you long enough to find me, to come here.” You gestured and sat on a kitchen stool. Her eyes finally took you in. When her eyes landed on your bump she didn’t move them. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Her eyes bore into yours now. You sighed, taking her in as well. You looked down ashamed fidgeting with your hands, you managed to look back at her. Like you didn’t just see at her, you saw her. You tilted your head. “Because you would’ve run…” You sighed softly taking a deep breath.

The words hit her like a ton of bricks. When she did find it in her to put together the words you cut her off again. “And I would’ve…” The tears in your eyes were building. You shook your head putting together the words. “I don’t think… No, I wouldn’t find it in me to forgive you.” She hated how coherent your argument was. And, How grateful she was that you’d given her a fighting chance, that you knew her like you did. Tears started rolling down her cheeks. Her eyes gravitating to your bump her whole body itching to touch you. “It’s a healthy baby, It’s our healthy baby.”She smiled her hands finally reaching for your bump.

Things had drastically shifted after that. Every following moment and every interaction after felt more precious. You seemed to share the sentiment you’d rarely spend time without her, you wanted her around you at all times. Even when she’d inevitably get on your last nerve you still wanted her next to you. She was enjoying the new dynamic, she wasn’t exactly a fan of being away from you. She’d come to realize that the hard way. She’d enjoy the clinging however long she got it, the pregnancy hormones were so far working in her favor. “I’m going to shower if you want to join or sit in.” She called out from the hallway. You stood up as quickly as your body would allow. “I already showered…” You said as you finally managed to stand. “I’ll keep you company.” Natasha smiled. It wasn’t just a partnership anymore. You wanted her company. Natasha loved it, she loves you. She took two more steps faltering at the third. She loves you? “Why’d you stop?” She heard you close the distance between the two of you. A big smile on her face when she turned to see you. “I was waiting for you.” She said simply. Your cheeks flushed a small smile gracing your face. “Cool…”

And now as she stands here, she can’t help the thought. She should’ve told you earlier. She should've told you the moment she realized. Now everything was moving so quickly, a flurry of people rushing you out the door. She couldn’t help but scoff at the irony, she was arguably one of the most adept people in and out of combat, but now in this moment, she was completely lost… Helpless. She could only watch the door you were just rushed out of. “They’re doing everything that they can. She’s in good hands.” Steve's voice brought her out of her thoughts. She watched as he walked into the now-empty room. (Empty because you weren’t there.) Natasha managed to get everyone together despite the tension everyone came together. And she can’t help but laugh at the irony, you’d told her before things when to complete shit.

“Natasha we can’t keep having this argument!” You sighed tired of her jabs. “I’m not arguing with you, I’m right you’re wrong.” (She was arguing with you) “You’re impossible! This is not what I signed up for.” The sincerity of your words stopped her in her tracks. “You can’t walk away because of this!” Natasha piped up. “You don’t see me giving you shit because you signed the accords without talking to me, on national fucking television. Where you almost fucking died too.” She sighed. “I didn’t think you’d oppose.” She said truthfully. “Well, I do… Oppose.” She groaned. “Well, what would you have had me do?” You moved to stand in front of her. “Stay out of it. Now there's no coming back from that signature.” She was silent. “You just betrayed half of our closest friend’s people we consider family.” Natasha knew what she had done, she knew what that signature meant. She also knew your loyalties started and ended with Steve, his righteous moral compass similar to yours.

“I know what you're thinking. This has nothing to do with Steve not how you think it does.” Natasha would be surprised but she knew you, and you knew her. “They’ve all got their heads so far up their asses, that they can't see that this won't end well. They won't realize until one of them… Until it's too late.” You sighed. “They’re only going to realize until someone ends up dead.” Your words weighed on Natasha. The thought honestly was the furthest thing from her mind, but by the second becoming more plausible. “I’m not singing… You won't change my mind, I’m not sorry.” As much as she wanted to say she saw reason she couldn’t if anything it only further spurred her. You left a week after that conversation.

“I’m scared.” She let out softly. What would happen if she lost you forever this time? Tony rushed into the room. “I’ve made sure Y/n’s got the best of the best in there with her.” What would she do with your daughter, You were the best thing she could give her. Natasha Romanoff was not a good mother, you were. “Don’t lose hope…” Tony said looking at Natasha's unresponsive state. Six hours, it had been six hours and they were still working on you. Natasha could swear her heart stopped when she saw the doctors walking out the swinging door. Everyone rushed to stand Natasha being the first one. Her ears were deaf to the lengthy explanations the doctors were giving. Too caught up with the fact they didn’t come out and say ‘Sorry for your loss we did everything we could.’ What she did manage to hear was the last part before they dispersed leaving only one doctor behind. “She’s out of danger for the time being.”

The words flew out of her mouth interrupting the doctor. “Can I see her?”

A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed it. I have a couple new series in the works I'm just not good with endings. Anyways I hope you all have a great amazing day <3

#marvel #fanfic #marvel mcu #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #natalie rushman #natasha romanov #black widow x y/n #black widow x female reader #marvel cinematic universe #avengers #mcufam #mcu fanfic #mcu

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witchygagirlwrites · 24 days ago

Text

Just Scared

Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader x Jay Halstead/ Gerstead x Reader

Part of the Consider me Gone verse

When insecurities keep distance between the boys and you, it comes to a head

Warnings: Sex, like this is 8k words just because I wanted to write out Jay, Mouse and Fireball figuring out logistics 🤷‍♀️

“You know your lease is coming up” Jay broke the silence in the room that had just been filled by the sounds of the movie the three of you were watching. You cut your eyes up at him from your position laying in his lap “Well gee Jaybird, you don’t say? I never would’ve known considering they told me the end date when I signed and my landlord reminded me again when I paid my rent last month”

Mouse shifted from laying on his side with his head in your lap to holding his weight on his shoulder to look up at the two of you “I still don’t get why you haven’t just moved in here?” This discussion had already come up multiple times in the last couple months. Did you like being on the other side of town from them? No, not really but there was another part of your relationship you’d yet to face and a part of you was honestly scared to.

You loved Mouse, you loved Jay. That much was certain. You were insanely attracted to both of them but as long as you didn’t live under the same roof you could hit the brakes at a certain point with the reasoning being that you had to go home. If you moved in with them sex was going to come into the equation. How were you supposed to do that? It had been a while since you’d slept with one man let alone two.

Not to mention the last time you’d had sex was a drunken, stress release type of thing. This was your boys, the men you loved, the ones you wanted for good. What if they decided they didn’t want you? You knew Jay was well experienced and despite his shy demeanor Mouse knew his way around a woman’s body. You weren’t a virgin by far but could you actually please two men well enough to keep them?

You shrugged “And where is any of my stuff gonna go? You two have this place at top capacity” Jay raised an eyebrow “I’ll call the bank in the morning about getting a loan so we can start trying to find a bigger place” you sat up, narrowly avoiding kicking Mouse in the process “Don’t you dare!”

He held your eyes in a silent challenge before waving a hand around “If this place being too small is the only thing stopping you from moving in with us, I’ll call the bank. Besides if you drop your lease along with my salary and his? We could afford a pretty decent place”

You knew this was Jay’s way of testing the waters, his way of asking if you were holding back from them without actually saying the words. “Fine but no decisions are final yet, ok?” he nodded “Ok, now apologize to Mouse. You nearly took his head off”

Your eyes widened and you looked at Mouse who was sitting on his heels, nearly on the arm of the couch “Oh honey” he grinned when he realized he had your attention “Kiss it better?” you shook your head and pulled him towards you. He grabbed one of your thighs and snatched you down the couch towards him causing a gasp to leave your throat when your back hit the cushions “Yeah I think getting kicked was worth it” he laughed before climbing over you.

Once he was on top of you, one of his arms supporting his weight you smiled up at him “Gonna get your kiss or just stare at me?” he laughed “Just enjoying seeing our fireball spread out under me like this” you felt flames flicker to life in your lower stomach, his sky blue eyes darkening slightly as he dipped his head to finally connect his lips with yours. Mouse always kissed you like it was the first time, his lips trying to memorize the shape and taste of yours. You whimpered lightly when he gently nipped at your lower lip and you felt him freeze along with Jay who was now at your shoulders “Holy shit, did she make that noise?” Jay asked and Mouse chuckled lightly “She did”

Mouse pulled away from your lips and your head was being tilted back, Jay’s calloused fingers trailing along your jaw as Mouse took advantage of the move to brush his lips along the now exposed skin. “Greg this fucking angle sucks. I can’t even kiss her” Jay grumbled and Mouse laughed against your skin “Sweetheart, you wanna move around so the grump can get a kiss or two?” you nodded and he licked over your pulse point before leaning back to help you sit up.

You turned on the couch to face Jay, Mouse moving to kiss along your neck as you did so. Jay smiled and pushed the hair back from your face “You’re so damn beautiful” then his lips were on yours. Jay’s lips were demanding, hungry and devouring every damn time you kissed him. You nearly whimpered again when he rolled his tongue into your mouth then when his hands came out to grip your thighs and snatch you up and over into his lap a sound that was a mixture of a gasp and moan fell from you.

Mouse sucked the soft skin of your neck into his mouth, teeth working at it as Jay kissed you. You whimpered into Jay’s mouth, your hips rolling down against his. When he shifted his hips up and you felt just how hard he was through his jeans that snapped you out of the daze these two men always seemed to put you in.

You broke away from Jay’s lips and that was Mouse’s clue to move away from your neck. All three of you were breathing heavier than usual “What’s wrong princess?” Jay asked and christ you felt like an asshole for the concern in those seafoam blue eyes. You swallowed twice before saying “I um..I gotta go..before it gets too late..you know you two are gonna worry about me”

“Stay here tonight, isn’t the first time” Jay offered and you smiled “Baby, I’ve gotta be into work at six” he shrugged “We’ll be up and even if we weren’t to actually have you here all night?” “We’d get up at three” Mouse answered.

You smiled “I love you,both. I’ll see you tomorrow after work, ok?” Jay nodded and pressed another kiss to your lips “I love you princess” you crawled off of Jay and when you stood up Mouse pulled you into a kiss “I love you sweetheart”

You quickly pulled your boots back on and tied them up before finding your jacket, phone and purse. “I’ll call you after I talk to someone at the bank” Jay offered and you nodded “Ok”

You heard Will call your name and glanced over from where you were finishing up a chart on a patient “Yeah Halstead? What’s up?” he nodded towards trauma one “Can you give me a hand?” you passed April the chart you’d just finished and shrugged “Sure, what ya need?”

One good thing about working with one of your boyfriends’ brother, you and he were friends and had a good working relationship. Hell you had a good relationship with everyone at Med. Ethan was a former combat medic so you and him hit it off on a whole other level, April was the sweetest person you’d ever met, Maggie was the big sister of the group, Nat was always a sweetheart and willing to listen to your opinions and Goodwin was a good boss. You loved Dr Charles for how much he’d helped Mouse.

You stopped at the door to grab gloves then followed Will in “I’m doctor Halstead, this is nurse Y/N but believe me when I say she’s more than capable of helping me on any case that rolls in here”

____________________

You finally sat down to get something for lunch and realized there were texts from both guys in the group thread J:Talked to the bank. If we’re serious we can find a damn good place M:We need to decide what to look for, what you want in the place sweetheart J:If you’re serious that is M:Of course, we’re not pushing you into anything

You sighed and sat your phone down. April cut her eyes up from where she sat across from you “Everything ok?” you nodded “Greg and Jay are wanting me to move in so now they’re wanting to look at listings for a bigger place but want my list of wants so they can be considered top”

She smiled “Oh that’s sweet. I think it's adorable how those two always look at you to make sure you’re happy” you very well couldn’t admit your hesitation about moving in so you nodded “What should be in my wants? My place now was just in my price range when I moved back?” She laughed “I can understand that! Maybe a different floor plan? Guest room?” she raised an eyebrow before grinning “Shower big enough for three?”

You felt your face warm, everyone of course assumed since you claimed them as your boyfriends and they claimed you as their girlfriend that the relationship was full. The idea of being in the shower with both of them? That was the best type of daydream you ever had. You laughed “That is definitely going on the list”

You pulled up the group thread and texted You’re not pushing me. Maybe a guest room so if Katie ever visited or if a friend needed it? Decent size kitchen, laundry room in it! Good size shower you felt your stomach knot before the bubbles popped up that someone was typing M:Decent size kitchen? This you telling me to cook for you more? J:Ignore him baby, I’ll add this to the list and call the bank back so they can start narrowing down listings

“I told you that you were overthinking it Jay” Mouse told him, nudging him with his arm. Jay nodded “She says this but let's see how she acts when we actually have listings. Think about it, has she stayed the night any in the past three months?” Mouse’s smile fell slightly “No but she’s been working a lot of morning shifts”

“And she has a car, I have a truck and if need be Will could pick her up” Jay replied and Mouse shook his head “What are you saying Jay?” Jay shrugged “You haven’t noticed every time anything gets heated she has to leave?” Mouse shrugged “Are you trying to rush her into something Jay?” He hadn’t meant for his voice to take a defensive tone but knew it had when Jay spun to face him, anger shining in his eyes “Don’t fucking go there Greg. You know I’d wait forever for her too”

Mouse raised his hands defensively “Sorry but you gotta admit how that sounded” Jay nodded “Which is why I haven’t asked her. I could care less if she never fucked me, I mean I’d love to fuck her don’t get me wrong but the point is I love her, you know that, she knows that. If something is holding her back from both of us, if one of us is holding her back from the other..”

“Then we need to know” Mouse finished and Jay nodded. “I want her to be happy. If that means she just wants you in that way then ok” Mouse nodded “Same” they both sat there for a second, the reality sitting in “We have to talk to her don’t we?” Mouse asked and Jay nodded “We really do”

“How the hell do we ask her why she doesn’t want to have sex with us without sounding like the world’s biggest assholes?” Mouse asked and Jay shrugged “My best guess? Push her temper, she comes out swinging, then we find out what’s wrong because she is brutally honest when she’s screaming at you” “How do we do that?” Mouse asked and Jay grinned “I get Erin to invite her out to Mollys. We let her have fun, get relaxed then go back to our place and talk to her then?” “This’ll be a fun friday night” Mouse sighed but nodded that he was agreeing to the plan then a thought occurred to him “What if she just doesn’t want us like that? We’ve both done some shit man..”

Jay let out a harsh breath “I don’t know because I honestly don’t know if I can see her with another man besides one of us…she’s always felt like ours and now since we’ve all been back? It feels like this is how its supposed to have been” “Like if we would’ve just figured this out sooner none of us would’ve went through as much hell?” Mouse asked and he nodded “Exactly”

Babe!! Mollys tonight? The text from Erin had come about forty five minutes before you were getting off. You texted back Only if you’re my date. You just gotta break the news to Mouse and Jay and laughed when she texted back I’ll tell em you finally found better

You started to put your phone in your pocket but the group thread went stupid about that time J: I swear I will get a new partner M:Sweetheart, teasing isn’t nice J:Want us to pick you up at your place or you want to meet at mine and drive to mollys together? M:Will already told us you have the next 2 days off

You groaned under your breath and made a mental note to slap the elder Halstead behind the head when given a shot at it before texting back Just pick me up then slipped your phone into your pocket. You still had to finish your shift.

_________________________

Mouse called you when he and Jay were a couple minutes away so you finished getting ready. When there was a knock on your door you opened it with a smile. Mouse stood on the other side and a grin slipped onto his face “You look gorgeous as always love” he greeted and you shook your head “It’s jeans and a fitted tee Greg” he shrugged “I love you in your scrubs and loved you in your ACUs, so I’m not one to judge”

You laughed and grabbed your jacket and purse “Come on honey. Jay is gonna get impatient” you grabbed his hand and headed outside. Once you made it to Jay’s truck you opened the passenger seat and climbed in, smiling when Jay slid the console up so you could sit right in the middle. “Hey baby” he greeted as you kissed him. “Where the hell is my kiss” Mouse asked and you leaned over to press a kiss to his lips “I love you Greg” he smiled “I love you”

“I love you Jay?” Jay laughed and you shook your head “Jesus, I love you Jay. You two are in a mood” you laughed and got buckled in then got comfortable between them as Jay pulled out onto the road. “Why did Erin suddenly want to meet at Mollys anyways?” you asked and they both shrugged “Hard work week?” Mouse suggested and you nodded “That’ll do it”

___________________________

When Jay parked the truck at Mollys you climbed out behind Mouse, feeling his hand go to your lower back as Jay’s hand found yours, fingers intertwined with yours. They always held you in public like they feared you may disappear. You teased them relentlessly about it but actually fucking loved it.

Once the three of you made it in the door Herrman spotted you first “Y/N! Come here I got a drink you need to try” you raised an eyebrow at Jay before the three of you headed to the bar. “Hey Herrrman, what ya got?” you asked and he plopped something purple down in front of you “I mixed three different recipes. Two have a sharper taste, ones a little sweeter”

You sniffed the concoction and it smelled good so you shrugged and tipped it back. It had a grapeish flavor but not overwhelming mixed with like a spicy aftertaste. “It’s good” you told him and he grinned “It’s good?” you nodded “Yeah” he laughed and pointed to Stella “See? Fireball tried it and said its good” Stella held her hands out “She survived two tours! There’s not a lot that woman couldn’t survive” and winked at you.

You felt Jay and Mouse’s arms slip around your waist as they ordered drinks. “Where’s my girl?” you heard Erin’s voice and untangled yourself from the boys to turn around “Erin” she pulled you into her arms and grinned at Jay “Mine now” then pulled you away from the bar, towards a corner where Kim, April, Gabby and a few other women were “You needed away from the testosterone of your fellas for a few minutes”

April grinned when you sat down “Any news on a place yet?” which set off Kim and Gabby “A place?” you nodded “My lease is coming up and those two are dead set on me being under the same roof” April laughed “They wanted her list of wants so they could narrow down listings to make sure they only showed her ones like that” the girls started laughing and you felt your face warm as they gushed over your boys’ devotion. “Save each other’s lives multiple times and it seems to build something fast” you laughed and Gabby nodded “She has a point?”

“Do we have to piss her off?” Mouse asked Jay. The two of them had joined Kevin, Adam, Ethan and Matt at a booth. The other guys were watching the game but Jay and Mouse had barely taken their eyes off of you. “Do you want to know what’s going on inside that head of hers? There’s a reason you sent her to Vegas after me. Our tempers match, if something was bugging me..that would get it out” Jay replied and Mouse nodded “Fuck it then”

__________________

“I’ll go tell Herrman we need some sodas” you laughed. All of you had hit the two drink limits you always tried to abide by so it was time for a round of sodas. Erin raised her eyes “Need a hand?” you shook your head “Stella will make him and Kelly carry them, I’m just ordering them” she laughed and shook her head.

You made your way to the bar and Herrman spotted you “Cherry cokes all around?” you nodded “Yes sir” he turned around to start grabbing glasses and you felt someone touch your waist but knew instantly it wasn’t one of your boys, the touch was wrong.

You cut your eyes up to see some corporate type standing next to you “Your hand is on me” you spoke matter of factly and he smiled “I know. You just looked so damn lonely here by yourself” you grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand off of you “Even if I was here alone, that gives you what right to touch me?”

You placed his hand on the bar and he smiled “Playing hard to get? Come on baby, I drive an Ashton Martin” you nodded “and I drive a dodge charger and if you don’t walk away in two seconds I’m going to take your head and smash it into this bar”

You felt his hand move towards your hair and caught it before he could touch you. You could see the surprise in his eyes because he was probably Jay’s height, just as broad “Don’t fucking touch me” “Just trying to give you a compliment” his hand was snatched out of yours and you turned to see your very pissed off boyfriends, Jay was the one gripping the asshole’s wrist tight enough his hand was turning purple.

“She told you to back off” Mouse said, jaw clenched tight. “Didn’t she?” he asked and the asshole didn’t respond so Jay twisted his wrist “He asked you a question” “Yeah yeah she told me to back off” “Then why didn’t you” Jay asked, his face close to the mans. It was then the asshole finally realized his mistake from the look in Jay and Mouse’s eyes. “You’re both with her?” you nodded and dear god the dumbass had the nerve to say “Well I don’t want the whore that lets two men run her through anyways”

“KELLY!” you screamed because you had no other idea what to do. Jay turned the man and Mouse landed a punch hard enough the asshole’s head whipped to the side, blood coming out of his nose. Jay then spun him around and punched him in the gut hard enough he crumpled into himself, holding his wrist as he hit the floor.

Kelly looked from you to the boys to the man “What the hell happened?” Herrman leaned on the bar “The one on the floor insulted her, those two took care of it. Throw that asshole out of my bar will ya?”

Both Jay and Mouse’s eyes landed on you and christ. You swallowed hard from the feelings those stares caused in you. Both of their eyes were shades darker, chests rising and falling hard with anger but in their eyes was such a softness towards you as Mouse stepped closer first “You good?” you nodded “I didn’t want to cause a scene by kicking his ass” Jay shrugged “Yeah well he touched you then insulted you. I don’t really care”

You shook your head “Let’s get going, I’ll tell Erin I’m leaving because didn’t you two want to talk to me about listings or something” Jay nodded so you grabbed both of their hands in each of yours “Come on”

The ride back to Jay’s neither of them really said anything but Jay’s right hand rested on your thigh while Mouse’s arm was around your shoulders. The physical contact was nothing new,they always liked having a hand on you and knew you liked it too. You were a little nervous to look at the listings because even just on Mouse’s laptop that made it real and you didn’t know how you were supposed to talk to them about what was holding you back from them without sounding like a complete idiot.

When Jay parked he squeezed your thigh gently “You good? You didn’t even sing along to the radio” you smiled “Yeah baby, I’m good” he nodded then slid out first and held a hand out to you so you got out behind him and heard Mouse get out of the passenger side. Jay tucked you into his side as all of you headed into the apartment building, Mouse reached for your hand, tucking his fingers in with yours.

___________________

You followed Jay in and kicked your boots off right inside the door then took your jacket off. Mouse grinned at you “Getting comfortable?” you shrugged “My home too even if I don’t live here” he nodded “Damn right it is”

Your hair was already loose so that wasn’t an issue. The guys joined you in shedding jackets and shoes. You headed for the couch, cutting your eyes up when Jay told Mouse to go grab his laptop “How many listings did the bank send over?” “A couple, didn’t really know what you meant by decent sized shower though” you sat down on the far end of the couch and turned so your back was against the arm rest and your legs were curled under you “Just a big shower, ya know?”

He stared at you for a second before nodding “Ok” about that time Mouse made it back in the room and sat down between the two of you. “Show her the places and if she doesn’t like any of them we can specify the list and get back to the guy on Monday” Jay told him before standing up and heading into the kitchen.

You watched Jay for a minute then cut your eyes at Mouse “Is he ok?” he nodded “Yeah sweetheart, he’s fine” you nodded then scooted closer to him so you could see the screen “Ok Greg, show me what we got”

There were a few places that were nice but none really caught your eye or felt like a place you’d want to call long term besides the laundry rooms were tiny, no guest bathrooms and the showers were those weird step in tub things. You wanted the ones with the one with the big glass door that you could just walk into, if you were being that specific.

Jay was sitting on Mouse’s other side and you could feel his eyes on you as you went through the listings “Jaybird, you good love?” you finally asked and he nodded before reaching to take the laptop out of your lap and handed it to Mouse “Want to just go put this up? She isn’t gonna like any of them”

“I liked a few! They just didn’t strike me as a forever place for the three of us” you defended as Mouse quickly put his laptop over on the dining room table then came back over. Jay nodded “Was it that or do you just not want to live with us?”

____________________________

You cut your eyes at Mouse to see whose side he was about to take and when he didn’t meet your gaze you knew that was his way of siding with Jay. “Wow! Ok” you stood up,shaking your head “If that’s the issue why don’t I just renew my damn lease then?”

Jay stood up too but didn’t take a step closer because he knew you hated that, he was taller than you and you didn’t like looking up at him when you argued “Well it's been what? Three months or better since you even slept under the same roof as us?”

“I’ve been busy, you two have been busy!” you argued and he nodded “And we would see each other a lot more often if we slept in the same bed every night. I fucking miss you, he misses you” you looked from Jay to Mouse “What?”

Mouse nodded “You’ve been keeping us at arm’s length. No matter what we do, you keep walls up and won’t meet us halfway” “How the hell do I keep either of you at arm’s length? I am literally here! I tell you both I love you! I kiss you every time I see you” you nearly yelled.

Mouse cut his eyes at Jay who said “Every time we get close to something you back off and leave” oh, that’s what this was. “Oh” you nearly whispered. “Oh?” Jay repeated and shook his head. Mouse took a step towards you but stopped when you took a step back, you hadn’t meant to but you kind of felt like you were in a corner and the whole fight or flight thing hadn’t been your strong suit even before the rangers.

“Can we just talk?” Jay asked and you nodded. A smile slipped onto his face that looked so damn sad “Is it one of us?” “What?” you asked, looking from him to Mouse,suddenly realizing how ridiculous you looked standing in the middle of the room.

Mouse shrugged “You let things go so far then you hit the brakes.If you only want one of us like that ok, we get it” “Hell I definitely get it, you’ve had to take me for testing” Jay added and your heart crumpled looking between them “It’s not either of you” “Do you want someone else?” Jay asked, confusion plain in his eyes and you laughed lightly “No you idiot. I love you two, why the hell would I want anyone else?”

“Then why baby? I mean we’re not pressuring you or asking for it, we’ll wait forever for you, we want to move in with you because we love you but I feel like the hesitation in that has something to do with the hesitation in living with us” Jay explained and you swallowed hard, dropping your gaze down to the floor “I’m scared”

“Of us?” Mouse asked, his voice low. Your eyes flew up to see they were standing next to each other now and wearing matching expressions, that mixture of hurt and disgust with themselves. “No! No, of course not!” you covered your face with your hands then walked over to the couch, sitting down on it with your face still covered.

You heard them move right before you felt Jay’s hands on yours gently moving them away from your face “Ok, first off? This whole shy side of our loudmouth fireball? It is fucking adorable” you felt your face warm at his words then Mouse asked “But baby what do you mean you’re scared? Do you think we’d hurt you?”

You shook your head “No Greg, I know you two would never hurt me” “Then what baby?” Jay asked and you tried to drop your gaze again but his hand caught your chin, gripping it gently but firmly enough you had to meet their eyes “I’m afraid that if we try to have sex and I’m not good enough or can’t do something you want you may realize you two fucked up by wanting me because you two are fucking gorgeous and I’m me”

Both of their eyes widened “You think anything you do would be anything less than fucking perfect to us?” Jay asked, a grin pulling at his lips. Mouse laughed “Sweetheart, we’ve both been dreaming about you for years” “That doesn’t help Greg!” you said and he smiled “Why do you think that?” you swallowed hard and knew Jay felt it considering he was still holding your chin “Jay is um..” “A reformed whore?” Mouse finished and got smacked in the arm with Jay’s free hand.

“I was going to say well experienced” you defended and Jay nodded, dropping your chin in favor of putting his hand on your thigh. “And Greg, you’re no stranger to a woman’s body” Mouse nodded “You’re not a virgin baby, I don’t mean that in a bad way. You know what you like and don’t”

“Yeah but I’ve never..” you trailed off and Jay nodded in understanding “You’ve never been with two guys and even with it being us you don’t know what to expect” you nodded “I haven’t even had sex with one guy since a few months after we all got home”

They both raised an eyebrow “Who?” you shook your head and Mouse cut his eyes at Jay “That means we know the son of a bitch” Jay studied your face for a moment then his jaw clenched “Fucking Marco, wasn’t it?” you laughed lightly and he growled “I’ll kill that son of a bitch” “Jay, that was before Nevada” you reminded and he took a deep breath “Fine but if he ever looks at you again I’ll kill him”

“The point is I don’t know what you two would expect, I don’t know what I can give and I don’t want to lose you” you explained and both of their expressions softened “Sweetheart” Mouse cooed, pulling you towards the end of the couch and into a kiss. You moaned lightly when his tongue rolled against yours. When he pulled back he smiled “Do you trust us?” you nodded “With my life”

Jay grinned “Then let us take care of you” and this time he pulled you into a kiss, mouth claiming yours roughly and you gasped against his lips.Your hands went to his shoulders and he broke away from the kiss to cut his eyes at Mouse before looking at you “Princess, if you want to do this,we will take care of you and I promise there isn’t a damn thing you can do that will make us not want you”

“I want to” you spoke and he grinned “Ok” before standing up, pulling you with him. He walked towards the bedroom, pulling you behind him with Mouse walking behind you, a hand on your lower back much the same way they always walked in public.

____________________________

You walked into the bedroom and Jay turned effectively, trapping your body between his and Mouse’s. You felt Mouse’s hands on your hips even as Jay was gripping your chin to kiss you. Just the heat of their bodies was damn near dizzying. Jay pulled back from the kiss and smiled at you as you felt Mouse’s lips teasing at your neck “We’ll take it slow, if you don’t like anything just say stop and everything stops”

You nodded and he shook his head “And we need verbal answers love. Consent baby, it’s top importance” yeah he keep talking like that they’d have to do very little to get you ready because you were soaked and they’d just kissed on you some. “Ok” you replied and he smiled “Good girl” you whimpered lightly and Mouse’s movements froze “What was that sweet girl?” you shook your head and he tilted your head back to catch your lips in a lingering kiss “I bet you're gonna be so good, take us both so well” you whimpered again and he grinned “Oh I love you”

Jay was teasing the hem of your shirt and when Mouse released your lips he caught your eye “Can I?” “Yeah” you whispered and he grinned “She remembered her words” he slipped your shirt up and over your head at the same time you felt Mouse’s hands slip around your waist, his long fingers at the buckle of your jeans “Sweetheart?” “Please” he nibbled at your earlobe “You’re doing so good” Jay fingers found your breast through your bra, teasing at your nipples as he pressed another kiss to your lips.

Mouse’s fingers dipped below the waistband of your jeans,just above your panty line and your knees nearly buckled from that small of a touch. Jay laughed “We need to get her on the bed” Mouse nodded “Yeah” Mouse’s hands moved from your waist as he worked to get your jeans and panties off your hips. You stepped out of them, holding onto Jay’s arms to keep your balance then Jay slipped your bra off.

You instinctively moved to cover yourself. You all were close but they’d never seen you like this or seen the full scars you carried from that convoy. Your eyes dropped and you heard them both exhale “Fucking hell you are so damn beautiful” Mouse spoke first and Jay was silent, when you raised your eyes, the look in his told you enough even before he said “We’re gonna take care of you baby”

You looked between them “You’re both still fully dressed” they grinned then slipped their shirts and jeans off, leaving them both in boxers.”Get on the bed” Jay spoke and normally you would’ve argued but with the look in his eyes you would do anything he told you to. You crawled up onto the pillows and looked back at the two of them, watching you with hungry expressions.

“Are you gonna just stare at me?” you asked, feeling your face warm. Jay grinned “Look Greg, she’s trying to be that medic we love but there’s a blushing little mess under there too” they both climbed up onto the bed and you watched them, your thighs pressing together and you crossed your arms over your chest without thinking about it.

“Still in this?” Jay asked and you nodded then said “Yeah,just nervous. There’s two gorgeous men that look like they want to devour me” he grinned “We do, don’t worry” Mouse laughed lightly “We’ll take it slow this time”

Mouse gently pushed your hair back then caught your lips in a slow, gentle kiss. You felt yourself relax under his touch. Jay’s fingers gently ran up your side, causing a shiver to run through you “How we doing this Greg?” He asked and Mouse pulled back to cut his eyes at him “I want the left side” “I’ll take the right. Then she can decide from there”

You didn’t have time to ask because Jay was kissing you then and Mouse was moving to kiss down your neck,working at the sensitive skin there. You gasped lightly and Jay broke away from your lips to kiss across your jaw and down your neck on the opposite side of Mouse. They moved in tandem, kissing and nipping at the flesh. It was like they knew just what spots to hit to make you squirm under them. When they got to your breast, Jay tugged the right nipple into his mouth with his teeth while Mouse gently rolled the left nipple in with his tongue. The sharp contrast had your back arching off the bed.

You felt Mouse’s fingers slip down your stomach and stop just shy of where you wanted them. He slowly slipped one finger into you while he and Jay continued their attention to your breasts. You could feel your thighs shake slightly and when Jay’s hand came to join Mouse’s one of his fingers teasing your clit when Mouse added a second digit into you, a shaking moan escaped you.

Mouse pulled off your breast with a wet pop “Taking us so damn good, always taking care of us” you felt yourself clench and he chuckled “Our girl likes hearing she’s doing good Jay” Jay chuckled “Noted” Mouse turned his wrist slightly and he brushed across that spongy spot deep inside of you causing your back to arch off the bed when Jay turned his full attention to your clit at the same time.

“Please please please don’t stop” you begged, that orgasm building. They kept their pace perfect and you felt right before your orgasm crashed into you, pulling a scream from you as your legs shook under them.

They worked you through it until you had to shove their hands away. “Too much” they both pulled their hands away, grinning up at you as they licked their fingers clean “Fuck she tastes good” Mouse said and Jay nodded “So damn sweet” when they both started to kiss down your body your eyes widened “You’re both going to?”

Jay grinned “Unless you don’t want us to?” you shook your head “No, I’m ok” he nodded and they continued their way down your body. When you looked down to see them both settled between your thighs on the bed you whimpered loudly. “You’re beautiful, sound so damn pretty and taste pretty” Mouse whispered before he lowered his head to your core, licking a long stripe. Your back arched off the bed but Jay’s hand came up to press over your stomach, effectively keeping you in place “Enjoy it” he demanded before kissing across your inner thighs.

___________________________________

Somehow they figured out a rhythm of not letting you come down completely from one orgasm before the other one taking over which caused back to back ones. When you got to the point of being so damn sensitive you were shoving at their heads they both left a light kiss on the closest thigh before kissing their way back up your body.

Jay trailed his fingers along your side “How ya feeling?” you grinned “Fucking amazing” he chuckled and pressed a deep kiss to your lips before Mouse pulled you into a kiss, tasting yourself on both of them made you clench around nothing. When Mouse broke away from your lips you reached for Jay and he grinned against your lips when you pulled him on top of you “Fuck baby” he moaned, rolling his hips down against yours.

Mouse moved to kiss down your neck, hands exploring your body. Every nerve ending felt like it was on fire. “Condoms,fuck we don’t have condoms” you whispered. Jay leaned up and reached a hand into the night stand before tossing you the box of trojan condoms you’d bought him a year and a half before “They’re still good and no I haven’t had a need for them”

You laughed lightly then looked between them “Who goes first?” “Whoever you want” Jay answered and you rolled your lip between your teeth “Is it ok if Greg goes first?” he nodded “Of course” he pressed a deep kiss to your lips then changed places with Mouse.

Jay moved to sit back against the pillows, pulling you to rest against him. “Relax” he whispered as Mouse kissed up your body, catching your lips in a gentle kiss “I love you so damn much” he whispered “I love you too” he rolled his hips down against yours and you felt how hard he was through the thin material of the boxers that separated you. “Please just fuck me already” you begged and Jay laughed from behind you, fingers teasing the soft flesh of your sides “You heard the woman”

Mouse reached for the box of condoms and tore them open, grabbing one of the foil packs. He shoved his boxers off his hips and you licked your lips without meaning to. He noticed because he laughed “Well thank you sweetheart” you shook your head “Quit teasing or Jay can go first”

Jay laughed again “There’s fireball. We finally found her!” Mouse rolled the condom on then lined himself up with your opening. He leaned forward to be able to roll his lips against yours as he slid into you. A moan escaped you as you felt the stretch of him filling you. Once he was completely inside of you, your head fell back against Jay. “Fuck Greg” you moaned as he kissed across your chest. He gave a tentative thrust and your hands went to your shoulders, pulling him down closer to you. “Feel so damn good baby, fuck”

Jay’s hands started to wander across your body also “Talk to her man, tell her how good she feels. How long you’ve wanted her” you moaned just from that, nails digging in Mouse’s back. He found a pace, hitting that spot deep inside of you with every thrust “You feel so fucking perfect love, better than I ever imagined..god I’ve wanted you since the day I laid eyes on you”

You could feel another orgasm building and knew Mouse was close too. He gripped your left leg, hooking it around his waist to give him a better angle. His thrusts were starting to get sharper and you knew he was close. “Please don’t stop” you begged and Jay laughed “Baby I will kill him if he stops, you look so fucking gorgeous right now”

Mouse slipped a hand between you and when his fingers found your clit, rubbing tight circles your orgasm hit you again and your entire body shook with it, your walls clamping down forcing Mouse over that edge as well.You felt him bury himself into you with a final thrust before he moaned your name into the bend of your neck, kissing every inch of skin he could.

He lifted his head to smile lazily at you “Hey” “Hey baby” you replied and he caught your lips in a gentle kiss “I love you” “I love you” he went to pull out and apologized when you gasped from the feeling.

Mouse went to clean up and grab some water. You looked back at Jay “Your turn?” he shook his head “Rest princess” you turned to slip a hand into his boxers, wrapping it around his cock that was achingly hard “I want you too Jay” “I don’t want to push you too far” he whispered so you shrugged, moving slowly but turned to grab a condom.

“What are you doing?” he asked and you grinned “I’m weak as shit at the moment because Greg has me not feeling my legs but I will use my arms to hold myself up to be able to fuck you too” he grinned “Fine”

He helped you move up onto the pillows then took the condom and climbed up the bed, kissing your body along the way. “Are you sure?” he asked as Mouse walked back into the room “For god’s sake fuck the woman” You met Jay’s eyes and knew why he was hesitating, his coping method when he got back. He didn’t want you thinking this was that. You smiled softly then hooked your legs around his waist “I love you and I trust you”

That was all it took for the boxers to be off and condom to be on. When Jay pushed into you, you moaned out his name and you felt Mouse’s hands soothing your body, one hand keeping you in place for the moment. “Stay still love” he whispered in your ear.

Once Jay was buried inside of you he stilled, eyes glued to where he was connected to you “Fuck every inch of you is absolutely gorgeous” you shook your head and was about to make a smart comment when he snapped his hips forward causing your eyes to roll back.

Jay set a hard pace, every thrust damn near moving you up the bed if Mouse hadn’t been right there. You could feel another orgasm building and you were so damn tired already. Mouse slipped a hand between you and Jay, you felt his fingers find your clit. Your legs tightened around Jay as your orgasm hit you. He held you close to him as he found his own release, burying himself inside of you and probably leaving a bite mark on your breast but you didn’t care.

_______________________

Both yours and Jay’s breathing finally slowed down so he pulled out, kissing you in apology when you complained about it. After Jay cleaned up he came back with a warm towel for you “We’ll help you to the shower in a little while” he said before crawling in bed behind you.

Your head was laying on Mouse’s chest so Jay slipped his arm around your waist, laying his head over on the scars that were on your shoulder, brushing a light kiss against them. “Are you still scared?” Mouse asked you then looked at Jay “Cause I don’t know about you but I have no damn complaints” Jay grinned “None at all”

You shook your head “No, I don’t think I am anymore:

____________________

You had nearly dozed off when Mouse broke the silence “Jay you know that day you walked into our tent and she hauled ass back to the med tent?” “Yeah?” Jay asked so you replied “We were making out, you walked in around second base”

Jay leaned up far enough to smack Mouse behind the head “Asshole” then he laid back down, kissing your shoulders again as he got comfortable. “Are you serious about wanting to move in with us?” he asked and you nodded “Yes Jay. I love you both, this is it for me. I was just nervous but now I’m not”

He laughed lightly “Ok, we’ll dig deeper into listings tomorrow and call the bank monday” Mouse kissed the top of your head “But for tonight and the weekend you’re staying here, right?” you nodded slowly “Yeah, I don’t think I want to leave you two very far”

Jay laughed loudly “I think we’ve broken her. She went from being being afraid to fuck us to probably already thinking about the next time” you looked over your shoulder at him with a grin “Well I mean, why do you think I want a place with a big shower?” he raised an eyebrow “I’ll make sure to add walk in shower onto the list”

#greg mouse gerwitz x reader x jay halstead #moustead x reader #gerstead x reader #chicago pd fanfiction #chicago pd fic #chicago pd fanfic #jay halstead x reader #greg mouse gerwitz x reader #jay halstead x you #greg gerwitz x reader #jay halstead fanfiction #mouse gerwitz x reader #greggerwitz x reader

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mazzymoonlight · 2 years ago

Text

Are There Still Beautiful Things?

summary: inspired by taylor’s “seven”, follow JJ and reader through snapshots of their lives together.

warnings: mentions of the death of a parent, mentions of excessive drinking, mentions of abuse

word count: 9.9k

a/n: hellooo & welcome to my first fic :) some of this had been previously posted in parts, but after evaluation i realized this needed to be heavily edited & worked better in this format. this fic has a special place in my heart, so i hope you enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing it. (p.s, happy obx 3 eve!)

SEVEN

please, picture me in the trees, i hit my peak at seven feet, in the swing over the creek, i was too scared to jump in but i, i was high in the sky with pennsylvania under me … are there still beautiful things?

JJ Maybank thinks the last time he was truly, truly happy was when he was seven. At such a young age, anything seemed possible. The sky was the limit and the ocean was their backyard. He had his mother and his father, and even though it leaked sometimes, a roof over his head.

And he had his friends, his favorite people in the world. John B, who he had been sat next to on the first day of second grade and was now inseparable from, and y/n, the girl whose mother was his mother’s best friend, who he had known his whole life.

It was always the three of them, getting into trouble together and spending nearly every moment with each other. You rarely saw one of them without at least one other, and even at such a young age, it was clear they had a bond some people spent a lifetime searching for. They were lucky, and people liked to tell them that.

In their younger days, one of the moms (or more often, both of them together) would often take the trio around. Watching at the beach while they learned to surf, the parks while they played until red in the face, treating them to dinners at the local establishments, or ice cream on those extra hot and intolerable days.

But their favorite was camping in the backyard. They would set up a tent and a bonfire, and roast s’mores and stare at the stars.

JJ’s mom had a particular affinity for the mystery that hung above them and would spend hours teaching the kids everything she knew. She loved the moon, she would tell them everything she knew. She liked to talk about the phases and what they meant, what kind of full moons they were in store for soon.

But Saturn was her favorite, she would talk about any chance she could.

Did you know it’s actually a big ball of gas? That it would float in water?

The ring is made up of ice and dirt and bits.

It’s windy up there.

It takes twenty-nine earth years to revolve around the sun.

Time must move slowly up there.

And they let her talk too. And they listened to every word. They listened to the tales and myths and theories of space until they couldn’t fight the sleep back, and their eyes of wonder became sleepy, slowly blinking at the woman in front of them.

“Goodnight,” She’d say to the three of them, and then she would lean in close to JJ, and leave a kiss on his little forehead.

“I love you to the moon and to Saturn.” he would fall into sleep with a smile on his face.

Nights like that were always beautiful. Memories like that were beautiful.

JJ couldn’t help but wonder; without them, was there any beauty at all left in the world?

FOURTEEN

sweet tea in the summer, cross my heart won’t tell no other, and though i can’t recall your face, i still got love for you your braids like a pattern love you to the moon and to saturn, passed down like folk songs … the love last so long.

The summer they were fourteen, JJ’s life changed. His mother passed, and he was never the same after it. It seemed like the entirety of the outer banks was aware of the light that had been lost.

y/n and her parents were right alongside Luke and JJ. None of them knew what was in store without her. Filled with anger, sadness, regret, and guilt, they all knew that she had so much more to give. Life was not kind, life was not fair, and although they all knew it, they never thought that they would get a reminder quite like this.

JJ stood in between his two best friends, y/n’s hand in his, she was struggling too, but she was holding back. She knew she had to be strong for JJ, she had lost someone special, but he lost his mother, and that was something that he would never get back, something that could never be replaced.

That night y/n stays with JJ, and they end up outside the same way they used to, but without a bonfire tonight. Tonight they stare in silence at the night sky, both thinking about all the things JJ’s mom had told them about the stars and planets above.

“I keep thinking she’s on Saturn,” y/n says, suddenly, the thought slipping out before she can think about stopping herself.

“What?”

“I keep thinking about Saturn, how much she loved it.” She clarifies, “And I keep thinking how happy she must be to finally see it.”

There’s more she wants to say, but figures it’s nothing that JJ hasn’t already heard. What can she say, really? When she catches his smile, the first she’s seen in weeks, she leaves it at that. She’s said all she needs to.

“Yea,” he said, wiping a stray tear. “I bet she is. I like that thought.”

And he meant it. The thought of his mom, an angel on her favorite planet, he didn’t think there was any other explanation.

FIFTEEN

JJ’s fifteenth birthday creeps up, and y/n had worked extra to get him a special present. She had seen it in one of the windows of the fancy boutiques on figure eight and immediately ran in to look at it, begging the store owner to hold it for her after seeing the price on the tag. It had to be JJ’s, she knew it the moment she saw it.

So two weeks later she returned with money collected from babysitting and delivering groceries, the proudest smile on her face. Bringing it home and exchanging the chain for a longer silver one before wrapping it up neatly.

Everyone gathers at the Maybank home on the day of. John B and his father, y/n and her parents, and Pope and Kiara, who the trio had recently befriended.

Luke had even put in a little effort, putting up some simple birthday decorations he had bought from the dollar tree. It wasn’t very much, but all JJ cared about was that everyone he loved was there with him. JJ was happy, but there was a lurking sadness in the back of his head. This was his first birthday without his mom. There was an empty space that would never be filled, no matter how hard he tried. And he was trying very hard.

Despite the weight of loss, it was one of the best days JJ’s had in a long time. Luke had set up a slip-n-slide for the kids, really just a tarp with some water and some dish soap but the kids didn’t care. He grilled hamburgers and hotdogs and even stocked up on more sodas than they needed. y/n had made a cake and John B helped her decorate it. It was sloppy, but it was theirs, for JJ.

y/n had waited until later to give JJ his present. She found him still sitting at the outside table with his hand on his chin, looking up into space like he always did.

“There you are.” She says, siding into the seat next to him. She follows his gaze up toward the night sky.

“Looking for Saturn?” she asks.

“Always am.” He answers sadly despite the small smile on his lips.

She doesn’t say anything, only matches his sad smile with one of her own, and holds out the box shyly.

“Happy birthday Jay.”

He takes it gently, looking at her with a look neither of them can register yet. He leans into her a bit, nudging her softly before tearing at the paper.

When he opens the box his smile drops, and suddenly it feels like he can’t breathe, he feels caught off guard as his emotions blindside him. He had no clue what to expect but this certainly wasn’t it.

y/n sees his reaction and it feels like a gut punch. Why had she gotten him that?

She felt so certain it belonged with JJ but seeing him look so upset now she just felt stupid.

“JJ, I’m sorry, I can bring it back, I just thought … if you don’t like it I’ll take it back.” She tries to explain herself and reaches for the box, but he jerks away from her when she tries to take it back.

She freezes, confused now. He doesn’t catch her reaction, still looking at the necklace in his hands.

“I think I’m forgetting her.” He finally says, voice barely above a whisper, like he was scared to say it. Like this was the first time he was admitting it to himself.

“I’m scared y/n, it’s only been a year, and every day I’m scared I’ve lost another piece of her, what if I’m forgetting her?” And then he’s crying before he can stop himself, sobbing almost.

He clutches the box to his chest like he’s scared to let it go, like letting it go would be the end of the world for the second time.

y/n pulls him in, a few tears of her own falling, thinking of all the things she would do and the things she would trade to take away his pain.

“JJ… you’re not going to forget her, okay, I promise you. All you’re doing is healing, trying to learn to live a normal life without your mom, something that no child should ever have to do. You have so many memories of her, you have so many stories and pictures. You're a piece of her. When you’re older you’ll pass the stories on, and people who never got to know her will know her. And when you're older, older, you’ll tell your kids about their grandmother, the woman who was as strong as a hurricane and soft as a butterfly all in one. You won’t forget her JJ, you can’t when you’re part of her.”

She talks him down, and once he subsides he sees the truth in her words, he trusts her so he trusts what she’s saying wholeheartedly.

“You promise me, y/n?”

She holds him tighter

“Cross my heart JJ.”

“Okay,” He says, sitting up from her.

“Okay?” she questions, wiping the last few tears from his face “because you don’t have to be.”

“I know, but I will be.”

She smiles at that, she knew he would be, even if he didn’t fully believe it, he was the strongest person she knew.

She nods towards the necklace “so you like it then?”

He nods. “I think this is the best present I’ll ever get.” And finally pulls the chain out of the box, staring at the clip confused as he tries to figure it out himself.

y/n laughs, making a motion for him to come closer.

“Here, I’ll do it for you.”

She undoes the clasp and wraps it around his neck, closing it again before adjusting, the charm settling just above his heart.

Her fingers linger on the charm, smiling at the memory, the meaning of it.

“Now you have your own Saturn, always with you.”

His hand closes on hers.

You are my Saturn y/n, he thinks.

But instead, he wraps her in a hug, “wanna camp out tonight? I’ll get John B to come back, the three of us like old times.”

She nods in his arms.

“Always.”

That night the three of them all felt like things had gone back to normal, even just for the night both John B and y/n were glad that JJ could feel some type of relief, even if it was fleeting. They knew in the morning things would go back to the way they were, and JJ would struggle a little bit more than the average person, but if they could just give him a couple of hours, it was worth it.

And finally, when they’ve retired to bed and settled in their sleeping bags, JJ and y/n had the same thought running through their minds as they fell asleep.

I love you to the moon and to Saturn.

And JJ swears he felt something press against his forehead that night, exactly like old times.

SIXTEEN

and i’ve been meaning to tell you, i think your house is haunted, your dad is always mad and that must be why, and i think you should come live with me and we can be pirates … then you won’t have to cry, or hide in the closet and just like a folk song, our love will be passed on

The summer they were sixteen was one they had been dreaming about what felt like their whole lives. Finally old enough to roam freely, exploring all the nooks and crannies unsupervised. The trio had now officially graduated to a group of five, and now they took on the world with Pope and Kiara by their sides.

It should have been a dream. Granted, most of the time it was, but there were nightmares constantly lurking in the corner. JJ didn’t want to admit it, but he was pretty sure he had finally lost his father.

Luke Maybank was never the same after his wife died, but for a while, he at least attempted for JJ. He tried, he really did, to be there, and be something for JJ. But he was losing himself, and in the past year, he was slipping further and further away, turning into someone that even y/n’s parents, who had known him for so long, didn’t recognize.

The drinking was getting out of control, and the hitting started not too long after. When he was sober, he was sorry, but eventually, it became a rare occasion to find Luke Maybank sober

So JJ’s normal became sneaking around his own house, avoiding the last of his family, seeing how many family dinners at y/n’s he could get invited to each week, and saving everything he could from his oddball jobs to get out as soon as possible.

He didn’t like to talk about it, in fact, he never did. He let the pogues think whatever they wanted to and never gave them a real answer when they asked. As far as he was concerned, they didn’t need to be concerned about him, he’d be leaving soon anyways.

But y/n knew. She watched like she always did, she was observant. She watched his eyes get that faraway look whenever he rattled off his latest excuse and the way his smile would fall when he thought no one was looking. She watched him and knew he was hurting more than he would let on.

She had gone to his house to find him but only found Luke instead, and what she saw scared her. She did not recognize the stumbling drunk man looking back at her. And he didn’t recognize her either. The girl he had watched grow up next to JJ, the girl he had roasted countless marshmallows for when she was scared of getting too close to the fire. The girl he made pancakes for in the mornings and the girl he lit fireworks for on the fourth of July. None of the memories registered, he had run her off his property like a stranger had just trespassed.

It was when y/n knew that for the second time, JJ’s life had changed. The knowledge tormented her for weeks. She hated the small piece of her that still felt sympathy for Luke, he was a broken man with plenty of reason to be. She was holding out hope, that something good would happen to JJ.

But when JJ showed up with a black eye one afternoon, blaming it on a group of kooks, she knew she had to say something. She spilled half-truths to her parents, although she suspected they picked up on the unspoken story from the tears in her eyes.

“I’m just - I’m worried about him. I just have this feeling that things have been, I don’t know … harder than normal lately.”

Her parents had sensed the shift too, all her confession had done was confirm the suspicion. Her mother told her then that JJ was always welcome in the home, and her father told her he would try to talk to Luke the next day.

And that worked for a little bit, JJ had visibly perked up and for a minute things seemed like they were back to normal, and y/n was waiting for the right to tell him what she knew but it seemed Luke had beat her to it.

She had been waiting for him at the beach, but her smile immediately turned to worry when she saw him storming up toward her.

“What the fuck y/n?” was the first thing out of his mouth, and now instead of worried she was panicked realizing his anger was directed towards her.

“JJ, what-” But before she can get anything else out he’s talking again.

“What did you do? What did your dad do? What’s with all these cryptic messages of watching us and threatening to take me away? I mean what the fuck, what does that even mean? Take me away? Away from what, my home? My father, my only family I have left? How could you do this to me?”

Her face pales immediately, her head shaking.

“JJ, that is not what happened, that’s not what he meant -”

“So then it’s true, he did come by?”

“Yes but he didn’t threaten your dad JJ, he -”

“You know what y/n, I don’t care. I just came to tell you to stay out of it. I don’t know what you think you know, but my dad and I are fine. We don’t all have a picture-perfect family to go home to at the end of the day.”

His words stung, leaving her nearly speechless. “That’s- that’s not fair JJ. You are family.” She chokes out, but he was already walking away.

“What if it was me?” She calls out, frustrated.

He stops, and she keeps going. “If I were you, and my dad was putting his hands on me. If I started showing up with marks and bruises, wouldn’t you do anything to protect me?”

“I don’t need you to protect me y/n.” And that’s the last thing he says to her before walking away.

JJ’s not around for the next couple of weeks, and it drives y/n up the wall not knowing where he was, or what he was up to.

She spends time with the pogues, but she’s never fully there at any time, part of her mind was constantly on JJ. She finally broke one day and told the pogues to please go find JJ and make him go out on the boat with them. They tried to argue with her but she told them that she was pretty sure that if he didn’t blow off some steam soon, he was going to start getting into trouble, and it wouldn’t be good for him.

She gave them space for a few days, and just assumed that they had picked up JJ and got him out of the house for a bit, so she nearly lost it when the pogues finally confessed that they hadn’t seen or heard from JJ since they had been tasked to go find him.

“Are you sure he’s not at the house?” she asked “Sometimes he just won’t come out, or if you ran into Luke then -”

“He wasn’t there, and we didn’t see Luke either. We checked inside.” Pope answers.

She could feel herself panicking.

“Why did you say something sooner?” She stressed, looking mostly at John B.

He looks down, away from her gaze. “You know how he is y/n… and you were already worried enough. We thought he’d turn up soon, he always does.”

She shakes her head, “maybe, but haven’t you noticed that when he does there’s always a new bruise?”

The three of them exchange looks while she closes her eyes, taking a breath and trying to think for a moment.

“Okay, why don’t you guys go check some of our beach spots maybe? There are a few places I can look and just keep me updated if you find him and I’ll let you guys know too.”

They part ways and y/n knows she’s going back to check the house first. Even if he had left, he was never gone from the house long, there was too much to leave behind.

She parks a little way down from the house, she hadn’t been back since the day Luke had yelled at her and if she was being honest she was still a bit scared. She crept up to the house carefully, freezing she hears shouting, the noise becoming clear once the door swings open.

“Boy, I tell ya, that’s just about the funniest thing I think I’ve heard you say.” y/n hears him laughing maniacally.

“You’re not going anywhere, you won’t leave her, you know you won’t. You’re stuck here, just like me.”

Luke stumbles off towards a trail and y/n waits until he’s out of sight before dashing into the house, finding it still and quiet. She wonders for a moment if Luke had been talking to himself the whole time, not finding it entirely impossible considering how drunk he seemed.

And then y/n is suddenly realizing that the last time she had been in this house was JJ’s fifthteenth birthday, and she was suddenly very aware of how empty it felt. It had lost the warmness and comfort it once held, feeling more like a ghost town than a home now. She felt out of place, which was something she never, ever thought she would feel in the Maybank home.

She notices a slightly open closet door at the end of the hallway, and she swore she could hear sniffling, muffled cries like someone tucked away and hiding in there.

“JJ?” she called out, and when it suddenly went silent again, she knew, rushing over to the door and opening it delicately.

And there JJ was, curled up in himself, knees up to his chest and a photograph in his hand. She knew exactly what photo he was looking at, and she immediately dropped next to him. She didn’t know what to do, she didn’t want to scare him, but looking at him broke her heart.

So instead she starts talking.

“I remember that day.” She says. “That was one of the fourth of July parties, we were all there, even John B and his dad. And this was the year the full moon lined up with the holiday, and your mom was so excited, she talked about it all day and got us excited too. Our dads bought way too many fireworks like they always did. And we ended the night with s’mores, of course, because it wouldn’t be one of our nights without them. You always were so messy. There she is again, cleaning you up.”

JJ falls into her then, and y/n catches him like she always does, and always will. She has tears too, staring at the picture of an innocent JJ, a smile plastered on his face, stacked s’more in hand, staring up at his mom who he loved so much, with no idea he was going to lose her in the next few years. And there was his mom too, beautiful as always, her own s'more in one hand and the other attempting to wipe the sticky marshmallow from his mouth, laughing because she knows it’s useless. But she was his mother, so she would try regardless.

She wraps him up in her arms, her grasp firm so he knows she’s there but not tight enough to hurt him.

“I know why you won’t leave. I know why you won’t leave him, why you always come back. You’re holding on to that last piece of normal. It’s okay, it’s okay to hold on, but not when it’s hurting you like this. This house is full of memories, but it’s haunted and full of pain too. I would never ask you to leave what you know, but please just come with me for tonight, maybe a few days at most.”

JJ has always trusted y/n, so even now, when he was upset and jumbled with emotions he trusts her.

She lifts them both up gently. “Let’s get some spare clothes, okay? I can pack them for you if you want.”

They both walk into his room but he makes no effort to pack. Instead, he picks up another photograph that was sitting on his dresser before sitting at the end of the bed. Without saying anything else she grabs one of his duffle bags, and starts putting in a few extra shirts and shorts, and even grabs a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt just in case. When she’s finished he’s still staring at the photo like he’s in some kind of trance.

She throws the bag over her shoulder and reaches her hand out to JJ. That seems to break him out of his state a little, standing up and pocketing the photographs. He takes her hand and they walk out of the house together, out to her car.

She pulls into her driveway, and they walk into the house together and up to her room.

“Why don’t you shower and change?” She can tell he’s still dazed, and she’s hoping a shower will relax him.

While he showers she makes her way back downstairs, her parents are out of town for the next few days, so she figures she’ll cross that bridge when she gets there. She does, however, text the pogues, realizing just how long it had been since they all began looking for JJ. She keeps it simple and just lets them know that he’s okay and with her for now.

And then, she makes two sandwiches, one for herself and one for JJ, because she knew he wouldn’t eat if he thinks she had made something especially for him. When she walks back up the stairs into her room, JJ is already out of the shower and changed. He looks up when she walks in and she lifts up the plates of sandwiches slightly.

“Eat with me?” she asks.

They sit and eat the sandwiches in silence, and when they’re both finished she runs the plates back down before returning with two classes of water.

“Okay,” she says after a few sips. “Just try to get some rest, okay? I’m going to shower, but I’ll be quick.”

Long after the shower turns on, JJ is still hesitating and realizing how stupid their fight was. All that he knows is that he missed y/n, and now he was here with her, everything felt like maybe it would all be okay.

He had just made it under the covers when the water shut off, and a few minutes later y/n came out, not hesitating to lay down in the bed beside JJ. It didn’t matter that they had been fighting, or not speaking, or had not seen each other in the past few weeks. They would always be there when it was needed.

“I’m sorry y/n,” he says suddenly. She had thought he had fallen asleep.

She shakes her head, even though he can’t see her.

“It’s okay.”

He rolls over, and now they’re both on their back, staring blankly at the ceiling as if staring long enough would make it disappear and show them the night sky just on the other side of it.

“But it’s not.” He starts, “You were just trying to protect me. And this whole thing has been so stupid - I’ve been so stupid. I didn’t like that, us fighting, us not talking. It just feels like … a storm sometimes. In my head, and it scares me when I’m not in control.”

His hand finds hers in the dark, “I know you were just trying to protect me. I was just mad at myself because I feel like it’s my job to protect you, and I wasn’t doing that.”

She squeezes his hand. “Maybe it’s not okay…” she starts, “but just know I understand, and that I’m always going to be here.”

She looks at him then, reaching up and finding his chin, turning it gently.

“And we protect each other, okay?” There’s a desperation in her voice that he picks up on. One that he understands, deeply.

He gives her wrist a soft squeeze, “okay.”

Then he’s curling into her, and she lets him. It’s silent for another moment before y/n breaks it this time.

“JJ?” she says quietly.

He’s barely awake but he still answers her with a tired “Mhm?”

She hesitates, “to the moon and to Saturn.” She backs out, but the unspoken meaning is still there.

He smiles.

“You are my Saturn.

EIGHTEEN

please, picture me in the weeds, before i learned civility, i used to scream ferociously … any time i wanted

y/n blinks and suddenly it’s graduation. She’s never been happier, a swirl of excitement and pride all in one stirring in her stomach. For herself and everyone but mostly for JJ. Things had been okay enough, but no one could deny the hand JJ had been dealt. He faced it every day, the sideway looks and the backhanded comments and the flat-out insults. But he had done it, proved them all wrong.

Luke had even made it to the ceremony, sitting tucked away in the back as he watched his son walk the stage, and afterward y/n eyes them as they had a conversation before finally parting ways.

JJ runs over to the rest of the group, scooping up y/n and spinning her around, cheering and causing a scene.

“We did it, we’re done!” He’s yelling, “we’re free!”

They continue to chat for a while and joke around, taking photos until the parents are all satisfied before parting ways with plans to meet back up at the beach later in the night.

JJ goes home with y/n and her parents, where there’s a small celebration set up for the pair. They eat cake and flip through old scrapbooks and photo albums. He’s happy, but there’s a sting in his chest, wishing his mom was there.

He imagines briefly, what it would have been like had his dad never changed, if he would have been there in the living room with them, or if he would have had his own afternoon planned. He decides not to dwell on it, instead, he wraps his arms around her from behind on the couch. He focuses on her, and her parents, the photo album of past memories. He understands he’s still lucky.

It gets later, and before JJ and y/n leave for the beach her parents call them into the kitchen again, they have something for JJ. He blushes at the statement, although he tries to hide it. He’s handed a small box and is shocked when he sees a silver key sitting inside.

“We hope we aren’t overstepping,” your mom starts, “really, it’s a bit overdue but we just thought - we just want you to know you’re welcome here anytime.”

Her father places a firm hand on his shoulder when he sees JJ getting choked up, “just if you ever need anything. Hell, if you ever just want to come bother us. You know you’re family.”

He laughs a bit, trying to lighten the mood, shaking his head, “Aw man, now you guys got me all emotional.”

Then he looks up at her father, “thank you, really.” And then he turns to her mother too, and she pulls him into a hug that he gladly accepts. “This means a lot to me, really… I don’t … I don’t know what I would’ve done without you guys. Where I’d be… just, thank you.” He tells her.

“You don’t need to thank us, honey. We’ll always be here to take care of you.”

The moment passes, he pulls away, clearing his throat in an attempt to hide his emotional state and he turns to y/n. “Alright, soaps over.” He announces, “you ready to go?”

They make their way to the beach, talking about summer along the way. JJ keeps listing all the things he wants everyone to do together before it’s time to part for school.

They find a spot on the beach, sitting and talking about how strange it is to be done with high school, and the future. Everyone is leaving, even John B. But JJ and y/n decided to stay close to home, not ready to leave yet.

“After college,” he says, “that’s when it’ll be time to go.”

“You would leave Outer Banks?” She asks, slightly shocked.

“Yea.” He says, confused as to why she was so shocked at his statement

“I’ve always said that, why the face?” He questions.

She looks down, realizing that he was right, he had always said that. She never thought about it in detail, never pressed him on it. Maybe she thought all this time that he never really meant it. Everyone always says they want to leave their hometown but how often did they really?

“nothing it’s just, something I heard Luke say once.”

She catches the way his face drops and she tries to backtrack

“No, no, it was nothing bad I promise. I heard him say ‘you know you won’t leave her’ and I don’t know, it’s just the only thing I’d ever agree on with Luke. That you wouldn’t leave your mom behind, and I understand that. You could build something better, be something better.”

He has a pained look on his face, his hand reaching up to the Saturn around his neck.

“Did you mean what you said, about me being a part of my mom?”

She rests a hand on his shoulder, “of course I did JJ. Everyone knows. You’re the best parts of her.”

“Then it won’t matter where I go. She’ll always be with me.”

Then the look on his face turns into a smirk.

“Besides,” he starts, “it wasn’t my mom he was talking about.”

y/n pulls her arm back from JJ’s, retreating into her own space.

“Oh.” She says simply, starting to wonder who would keep him tied here.

The only other girl he really had in his life was Kiara, and they had been awfully close this past year. She had even gifted him a locket for his seventeenth birthday and it now sat right next to his Saturn charm. It took everything in her not to ask what it was, her curiosity was killing her but she respected his privacy more. But truthfully, y/n couldn’t blame JJ even if she wanted to. Kiara was special, she wouldn’t want to leave her either. She didn’t want to leave any of them.

And then y/n started to realize that she always thought it would be her and JJ. Whenever she imagined the future, JJ was there too. She was realizing that maybe it was selfish of her to just assume he’d always be there. She knew he had dreams of his own, and who was to say that she was involved in any of them?

“Hey now,” he starts when he notices the change in her demeanor, grabbing at her face and pushing at the corner of her lips, playfully trying to force a smile.

“Why’s my y/n so sad?” He says with a pout, putting on a dramatic voice like he’s talking to a hurt child.

She pushed his hands away, trying to look annoyed but failing miserably, not being able to control the smile that follows her laugh.

“Well I’m sorry, my best friend just dropped a bomb that he has some mystery woman he’d follow to the ends of the earth. I guess I’m just a piece of moldy bread to you now, huh? I’ve been replaced.”

She overplays her sadness, saying it dramatically, but truthfully deep down a part of her is hurting at the thought.

His hands have moved to the side of her face.

“Come on now y/n, you’re supposed to be the smart one.”

She places her own hands on his, turning her head to the side slightly in question.

“Oh my god y/n,” he laughs, “are you going to make me say it?”

She remains silent, her face reflecting her deeper confusion, wondering what he was on about. She honestly felt like she had missed something, feeling like he had moved on to a whole new topic all together.

“It’s you, you big dummy!” He exclaims, shaking her a bit to emphasize his point.

Suddenly y/n is shocked and embarrassed, moving her head down, trying to hide from JJ’s gaze.

He laughs again and pulls her in, “I would never leave you y/n. You’re stuck with me.”

She doesn’t reply, but she doesn’t need to, instead, she lets him tuck her into his chest. Her eyes land on that locket of his, and she can’t stop her fingers from playing with the charm.

Then suddenly his hand is running up her arm and grabbing hers.

“Why don’t you just ask already?” He says and she immediately freezes. “I know you want to know.”

She still doesn’t say anything but she shrugs her shoulders a bit. Yes, y/n was dying to know what was in the locket but part of her also felt it was an unspoken line that she shouldn’t cross. It was Kiara that had given it to him, so it was probably something that meant a lot to the two of them, and she didn’t want to pry at their relationship.

Of course, he would tell her if she asked but she never let herself.

“Just open it y/n.”

She looks up at him, still hesitant. But the look on his face reassures her, so she pinches open the locket and immediately smiles when she sees the photo inside. That photo from that fourth of July all those years ago, sitting with his mom on the banket, marshmallow all over his face. She can’t help the bittersweet tears that prick at her eyes, thinking about all that JJ had accomplished, and wishing more than anything that his mother had been there to see it.

Then silently JJ reaches up and opens the locket the rest of the way, and when y/n sees the photo on the other side it feels like all the air has been sucked out of her. It’s a photo of him and her from when they were little, looking like it’s from the same night. There they were, standing next to each other with wide eyes and beaming smiles, sparklers in hand. Trails of light surrounded the sparklers, the children unable to keep them still.

And that was when y/n knew. She knew that it would always be the two of them, somehow and someway. She knew that she would go wherever he wanted or needed to go at the drop of a hat and that he too would follow her without hesitation. And most of all she knew she was lucky. She knew how lucky she was to have someone like JJ in her life.

She closes the locket with tears in her eyes, and rests her palm on his chest, feeling his heart beat wildly. When she finally looks up she sees him tearing up too. She reaches up and wraps her arms around him, holding onto him tightly and he does the same.

“I love you JJ.”

He squeezes her tighter for a moment.

“I love you too y/n.”

And maybe the words meant more to both of them. It seemed like over the years that the lines between loving platonically and loving romantically had blurred. Best friends, soulmates, twin flames, they were always something to each other. But the one thing that they did know was that they had time. They had so much time to figure it out and neither were in a rush to figure it out. What they were now was good, who were they to question it?

TWENTY-TWO

sweet tea in the summer, cross my heart won’t tell no other, and though i can’t recall your face i still got love for you, pack your dolls and a sweater, we’ll move to india forever … passed down like folk songs our love last so long

It’s Friday night and the Fourth of July. y/n has been cleaning the apartment all day, needing everything to be perfect. Everyone lived busy lives now, but they were coming tonight to celebrate. She even decorated. A few balloons tied to chairs and red, white, and blue streamers hanging from the doorway.

She hears the front door opening but doesn’t look up from the counter she was wiping down.

“Are you still cleaning? It’s just the pogues y/n, relax.”

“I know,” She says, folding the last blanket and placing it on the edge of the couch “I just want it to be nice. It’s all going to be so different soon.”

There’s a beat of silence and a bittersweet tension hanging in the air.

“Why are you home so late?” She asks, changing the subject quickly.

He lifts the grocery bag in his hand, “beer” he says simply.

She rolls her eyes. “JJ, we have plenty of beer.”

She starts walking towards the kitchen and JJ trails behind her, pulling the pack of beer out of the bag.

“Oh y/n, you can never have too much beer.” He places the pack in the fridge and then starts taking out a few more items.

“Plus, we can’t do the fourth without our favorite.”

She smiles at the contents on the counter, “how could I forget the s’mores?”

JJ turns back to her and puts his hands on her shoulders.

“Because you’re in overdrive, and stressing yourself out. Go take a nap before they get here. You’ve been up all day and I know you had a late night, you’re tired.”

“No, I was going to make some snacks and -” She protests.

“You don’t need to make anything, Kie said she’s bringing dinner from The Wreck.”

“Well, what about the fireworks?”

“John B has it covered”

“What about -”

JJ cuts her off again, “everything is done y/n, we’re ready for tonight. Go rest.”

She pulls him in, wrapping her arms around him.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

She looks up at him, admiring him for a moment. It was something she caught herself doing often, and if he noticed he never commented on it.

College had been kind to JJ. Once he got a handle on it he thrived in the freedom of it. They were coming up on a year since graduation, and JJ had since shed his childlike habits. He was still himself, the light of the party and loud and still sometimes impulsive but underneath it all, he was a man now. It was evident in the way he carried himself now, broader and more confident. He took his life seriously and was happy to do so.

She smiles up at him, “I’ll take a nap if you come with me.” And when she looks at him with those eyes of hers, JJ simply cannot resist.

“Okay, come on.”

They walk over to the couch, JJ picks up the blanket and unravels it before laying down.

“JJ! I just folded that.” She says, slightly irritated but laying down nearly on top of him anyways.

He only rolls his eyes at the comment, dropping the blanket over them and wrapping his arms around her, y/n melting into him as soon as he does.

Minutes of silence pass, and JJ thinks she’s fallen asleep until she speaks up.

“Are we sure about this?”

“y/n, we’ve spent months talking about this. I promise you we’re doing the right thing, okay?”

She sighs, knowing deep down that he was right, so she lets herself relax and catch up on the much-needed sleep.

-------

Hours later and the night has finally begun. They’re all sitting in the living room, chatting. JJ and y/n exchange a look, and they know it’s time.

“Alright guys, we have something to tell you all.” Her smile is spreading, but she still turns to JJ for reassurance. He takes her hand in his and the pair turn back to the group.

“We’re moving.” They both spit out at the same time.

The other four drop their mouths in shock, it wasn’t the news they thought they were getting, but it was still enough of a bomb to catch them completely off guard.

But the speechless shock only lasts a brief moment before they start bombarding the pair with questions.

“Okay, okay!” y/n shouts, trying to calm all the voices talking over each other.

“San Francisco, California. That’s where we’re going. I got a job offer and JJ found a few places hiring where he can teach surfing lessons.”

Kiara and Sarah are nearly jumping from excitement, pulling her into a hug.

“y/n, that’s amazing!”

“Congrats, baby!”

“When do you have to be there?”

y/n’s smile drops and she pulls away.

“Well, that's the thing…” She starts, glancing towards JJ again, and that’s when he steps in.

“Our lease for here is up at the end of this month anyway …”

“You’re moving across the country in less than a month?”

“We didn’t think it was going to move this fast but things just seemed to line up that way…”

...

After the excitement and explanation, they’ve migrated into two separate groups, the boys still lingering in the living room.

“So that’s not the announcement we thought we were getting tonight,” Pope says, nudging JJ.

JJ looks at him confused, “what do you mean?” He asks.

“He means,” John starts, sitting up, “when are you gonna ask y/n to marry you?”

JJ nearly chokes on his drink at that, even spitting a bit of it out.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He asks, “we’re not even dating.”

The other two glance at each other for a moment before back at him.

“What?”

“What?” The other two echo back, just as confused.

“And I thought two of my best friends moving across the country was going to be the biggest news of the night,” John says, taking a swig from his beer.

“What have you two been doing the past five years then?” Pope asks.

“We’re just … She’s my best friend, you guys know that.”

“But aren’t you guys more than that?” John asks. “You know, you could have told us you’ve been dating since high school and we’d believe it. You really aren’t together?”

JJ shakes his head, trying to explain what he doesn’t fully understand himself.

“No, not like that. We’re just… we’re JJ and y/n. Like we’ve always been.”

The other two share a small laugh.

“What?” The blonde asks.

“It was never JJ and y/n,” Pope answers. “It was always jjandy/n.”

“Have you guys really never?” He pries. “... At all? Anything? This whole time? Have you talked about it ever?” Pope continues as JJ shakes his head.

“No… we haven’t, we’ve never had to. I just know I’m always going to have her, and she’s always going to have me. We’ve never questioned or talked about how or in what way.”

“But what are you going to do if she meets someone? If you meet someone? Will you move out? Do you two even know how to function without the other?” Pope spits the questions out at a rapid-fire, genuinely curious.

“Of course, we can function without each other, we aren’t codependent.” JJ sighs, taking a breath, “I don’t know what’s going to happen if we meet people, we’ve never had that problem. She’s never mentioned guys past a hook up so I don’t know.”

“And what about you? What if you meet a girl?”

“I don’t know! Good god, what’s with the third degree?”

“You’ve seriously never thought about the future?” John presses.

“Not in, that sense I guess.”

“Okay, here, close your eyes. Don’t give me that look, come on just close them.”

JJ rolls his eyes but does as he’s asked.

“Okay, now, imagine yourself five, maybe even ten years from now. What do you see?”

“I don’t know… I just - I just see y/n.”

…

In the kitchen, Kiara and Sarah are giving y/n a similarly hard time, although it seems to be phasing her a little less.

“You know we totally thought the two of you were going to tell us that you were finally engaged, right?”

y/n rolls her eyes at Sarah, jumping up onto the counter to sit, “I’ve told you guys, we aren’t even dating. I don’t know where you keep getting that.”

“Still?” Sarah nearly shouts, “You guys still aren’t dating?”

“Ha!” Kiara cuts in before y/n can reply, “You owe me ten bucks.”

“Oh, so you guys are betting on us now?”

“Sarah’s betting.” Kiara says, “I’m making a profit.”

The other two are still standing, leaning against the counter inches away from y/n.

“What have the two of you been doing this whole time?” Sarah starts asking. “I thought for sure after we graduated college the two of you would finally get together.”

“They’re their own thing, Sarah, I keep trying to tell you.”

“But you guys are basically together, aren’t you? Is it just a ‘we don’t want to put a label on it’ thing?” Sarah presses.

“No, we aren’t together romantically at all. As I’ve said, I don’t know why it’s so shocking to everyone whenever I remind you.”

“But do you want to be?” Kiara asks, shifting the tone of the conversation a bit.

“I don’t know.” She says quietly, thinking it over.

“I mean, Sarah is right you guys have been together for, well your whole lives really. You guys are moving across the country together. The two of you are pretty much starting your lives together. What if he brings someone home? What if you meet someone?”

y/n just shrugs, starting to feel the tingling of emotions.

“To be honest with you, I don’t like to think about it. I mean I’ve dated here and there, and I know JJ has too but it never became anything serious for either of us.”

That day on the beach all those years ago had been enough to hold her over. The thought of always being together in some way, but now that they were getting older and a new part of life was starting, would that hold true?

“I just know I want him in my life.” She continues, “I mean, I think part of me always did think that maybe we’d end up together but… I don’t know I just, I guess I just want to make sure we’re together because we want to be, not because we’re all we’ve ever known. Sometimes I get scared that we’re holding each other back, that there’s something or someone we’re missing out on.”

She looks back up at the two girls, shaking her head at her emotions that seem to be building up.

“But most of all I just want him to be happy you know? I need to be prepared if it’s not with me. I guess I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’m saying.”

Sarah places a hand on y/n’s shoulder comfortingly.

“No, we get it. I think a lot of this is just anxiety from the move, from this big life change coming up. I can tell you, the one thing that’s never going to change is you and JJ. You guys are absolutely not holding each other back. Trust me, one of us would have said something if we were worried.”

“You can’t see it from the outside.” Kiara jumps in. “It’s not always bad to have someone like you have JJ. Never once have either of you held each other back. You’ve always brought out the best in him and he’s always brought out the best in you.”

“You really think so?” She asks, looking between the both of them.

They both nod, pulling the girl into a group hug best they can, just as the boys are walking back in from the living room.

“Hey!” JJ immediately shouts, walking over to the three girls. “Which one of you made my y/n cry?”

Sarah wordlessly moves from her side and next to Kiara, making space next to y/n for JJ to slide into, sending a look to Kiara at the words my y/n while doing so.

“Kiara was telling me a story about work.” y/n says quickly. “You know how I get about the turtles.”

“Oh yes,” He says, lifting a hand and wiping away the few tears, “that would explain it.”

“What about you boys?” She asks, nodding at Pope and John as well, “What were you all gossiping about, huh?”

“John was telling me all about the fireworks he brought. You ready to go light ‘em up?”

She jumps down from the counter excitedly.

“Yes, let’s go!” She says, grabbing the large plate that contained chocolate and graham crackers in one hand and a large bag of marshmallows and skewers in the other.

The rest of them follow the pair out, watching as JJ takes the plate from y/n so she doesn’t have her hands full.

“Okay,” Sarah says, “I’d put money on a year from now.”

“Oh my god, Sarah,” Kiara says, giving her a playful shove.

The rest of the night is good, y/n makes sure to take a moment to let it sink in, all their smiles and all their laughs.

They set off fireworks, and sparklers, throw poppers at each other’s feet, watch the boys run from one another with roman candles in hand, and JJ and y/n eat their weight in s’mores. The night runs longer than intended, especially since the girls decided to bring the alcohol back out.

Finally, long after the night has settled and everyone has lingered for as long as they can, the group starts to say goodbye to each other. Dishes and trash are brought back inside, excess fireworks and belongings collected, and goodbyes dragged out until JJ and y/n are left in their apartment.

y/n lets out a long sigh, feeling the night and the drinks and the reality of them leaving catch up to her. It felt a lot more real now that they had told their closest friends.

JJ notices her lingering by the door and tugs her gently on the arm.

“Hey, you wanna sleep with me tonight?”

She nods silently, a grateful smile on her lips.

“Go change and meet me in there, okay?”

She moves a little bit slower than usual, weighed down by exhaustion, doing the bare minimum to get ready for bed, simply changing her clothes and brushing her teeth lazily before pulling her hair up and walking to JJ’s room.

He’s just climbing into bed and she follows without hesitation, curling into him. She thinks about how easy it is with JJ, or maybe natural is the better word. Everything just is with him.

He notices the way she’s holding his hand tightly and to her chest.

“Hey,” he starts softly, “you know if … if you’re second guessing this whole move, just say it and we’ll stay. Or… just tell me and I’ll stay.”

“No,” she says quickly, holding him even tighter now. “It’s not that…” She pauses, trying to gather her words and her courage.

“It’s just, you know that I love you, right? But do you know that I love you?”

JJ thinks he can’t breathe and worries for a second that his heart beating as fast as it is can’t be healthy. He wonders for a moment if he’s already fallen asleep and if this is all just a dream.

Because this is the moment he’s been waiting for his whole life.

“I’m starting my life with you. Moving all the way across the country… away from our home, our family, and our best friends. But the thing is, as hard as I know it’s going to be … I don’t care. Because I’ll be with you, JJ. I’ll have you. I don’t want anything else. Anyone else. I never have.”

It’s more of a confirmation than anything else.

There’s a moment of silence, and she holds her breath. Then another, while JJ tries to find his words. His mind races, processing her precious words. Pieces of their life together flash through his mind.

He’s crying before he can stop himself, overwhelmed.

“Just… come here.” He says desperately, pulling her in and locking her into his hold.

“You’re going to make me cry.” She says, muffled in his chest.

If it was anyone else, maybe the tears would be alarming. She would’ve read the situation differently, and taken it as a rejection.

But it was JJ. And tonight is more of a confirmation than a confession.

He pulls her even closer, tightens his grip in hopes of emphasizing his words, and just how much he means it.

“I never told you outright, but you had to have known, right?… that it was always going to be you? I’ve never been good with my words but I hope I’ve shown you. I hope you’ve felt it this whole time. How important you are to me. How much I love you.”

She escapes his grip, pulling away only so she can see his face.

“I have never felt anything but loved by you JJ.”

And then JJ blacks out he thinks. Or maybe it was just a mind-numbing rush of adrenaline. Or maybe it was natural instinct that had been lying dormant this whole time, just waiting for the right moment.

Because one second he was staring at her glossy eyes, and the next his lips had found hers.

Finally.

It’s soft and slightly desperate, dizzying and intoxicating.

A sensation that both of them had been the feeling they had simply been waiting for their whole lives.

They only break away to relieve the burning in their lungs.

“Say it,” she begs softly, a little out of breath and a little drunk on JJ.

His mind is in a haze, a smile still adorning his lips as he tries to get back to hers. “I love you.”

“No,” She says, pulling on him to get as close as possible, “the other one. Tell me again.”

He doesn’t even hesitate, knowing what she means in an instant.

“You’re my Saturn, y/n.”

She smiles into his chest, “again.”

His hand finds her cheek, guiding her face to look up at him.

“You are my Saturn.”

“Never stop saying it?”

He kisses her again, then pulls her back into his side, tucking her into the spot that she’s always belonged in.

“Never.”

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milliesfishes · 7 months ago

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౨ৎ꣑ৎSerendipitous (Part Three)౨ৎ꣑ৎ

[fem reader] contains: forced lack of eating, body image issues, verbal abuse, physical abuse, cheating pairing: billy the kid x fem reader summary: stuck in an arranged betrothal, you think you'll forever be trapped until you meet billy and your world is flipped upside down (part three) author’s note: thank you thank you for all the love on this series, I hope you enjoy the last part! <3 Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist (chapter starting at My Love Will Never Die)

Secrets are a curse between two people. Once they are known they either bring them together or tear them apart. You and Billy were now closer than ever.

The cabin became your sanctuary, and you escaped to it as often as you could, when you weren't under the watchful eye of those who'd raised you, or your husband-to-be.

Billy's arms were your happy place, and he happily opened them to you whenever you needed. He kissed your worries away, talking enthusiastically of the future. Of how you'd run away together, how you'd get a little place just like this one somewhere far off. You lived in those daydreams when you weren't with him, seeing for the first time ever a future you wanted to be a part of.

The good thing about Billy knowing was that you didn't have to be so on edge all the time. He shouldered the burden with you, gave you some much-needed relief. In time, he coaxed more out of you, about life in Atlanta and the reason your parents had pushed this marriage on you.

"Ain't nobody should be blamin' ya for wantin' to pick the best ya could," he assured you, tracing your cheek as you lay bare by the fireplace sandwiched between blankets and cocooned against him. You nuzzled your cheek against his bare chest so you could feel his heartbeat. "Society rules 'n all...they hardly have a place out here."

"That's why I love it so much," you smiled, and he returned it in a lazy, blissful way.

"That's the only reason ya love it?" he teased, his fingers scratching your arm gently in a soothing motion.

Pretending to think about it, you snuggled impossibly closer. "Maybe there's a couple others."

He dropped his lips to the part in your hair, inhaling your scent softly. "Lucky, lucky man I am."

"You're holding a girl who's engaged to someone else," you mumbled, looking up at him. "Doesn't sound so lucky."

"Ah, you're worth all 'f it," he stopped his scratching and used the same hand to tuck your hair behind your ear. "Any man'd do the same for the sweetest girl in the West."

You let him have that, smiling softly. Billy didn't know he was one of a kind. Having exhausted the resources in most of Atlanta society, you would know. He was special, he brought you back to life. In secret, he reignited the flame you had thought diminished.

But even Billy couldn't erase the turbulence of your family and fiancé, as much as he wanted to.

One day as you were getting dressed, being laced into your corset for the day by one of the maids, your mother poked her head in, looking over you like one would a specimen. She dismissed the maid and started to pull at the strings herself, making your body jolt. Her tactics were more aggressive.

"You've gained nearly an inch," she commented, and you lowered your eyes to the floor.

"I can get it off," you promised, and a scoff was heard from behind you.

"Indeed you will," your mother said distractedly, and you felt the corset tighten around you. "In fact, I think it best if we put you on a restricted diet until the wedding."

You turned to look at her. "What-"

"You want to be able to fit into your wedding dress," she said firmly, and you looked back at the wall so she wouldn't see you clench your jaw. "Honestly, I'm not always going to be around to do everything for you. After you're married it will be your job to remain an acceptable weight for your husband."

It stung. Everything she was saying hit your chest like rain in a thunderstorm hit the roof. But you were an obedient daughter. And you didn't want to make her angry. So reluctantly, you nodded and said in a small voice, "Yes, mother."

"Very good." She tied the knot on your corset and reached for your dress, helping you step into it. You felt numb as she buttoned the back.

Going down for breakfast, you sat at the table and reached for a slice of bread. But then you remembered her words and slowly pulled your hand back, folding it over your other one in your lap. She was watching. Your mother nodded approvingly.

The frustration you felt was awful. Why should you have to do something so demeaning for such an awful man, who in all honesty would hardly notice? But now you were looking at yourself in the mirror through your mother's eyes, pinching the side of your waist and wishing you could cut it off.

Even when you were with Billy you were more hesitant to sit on his lap or lie on top of him, the internal voices telling you that you were too heavy. Sometimes he would bring a little something to the cabin to eat, and you'd nibble at it delicately, letting him have most of it.

Because it was Billy though, after the first couple of times he noticed. "Everythin' okay, sweet?"

You looked up from where you'd been staring at the floor, lost in thought. Remembering where you were, you smiled unassumingly. "Yes."

"You've hardly eaten anything, sunshine, ya seem a little down," he said concernedly, brushing his hand over your cheek. "Ya feelin' alright?"

"I'm okay," you reached for his hand and squeezed it. "Really."

Billy didn't look convinced, but he knew not to push it, so instead he reached out for you. "C'mere."

You hesitated, thoughts of your weight at the forefront of your mind. So instead of going to his lap like you normally would have, you sat by him, still close.

He frowned, tugging on your waist. "Baby, ya missed."

Pursing your lips, you shook your head, drawing your knees to your chest. "No, I'm okay here."

The resignation in your tone was clear, and Billy settled a hand on your thigh, rubbing up and down. "Whatsa matter, honey?"

You looked up at him, at how concerned he was for you. One look into his blues and it all came pouring out of you. The diet, your mother's comments, your eating habits...everything.

When you finished, Billy was quiet for a moment. Then he cooed, reaching for you. "Baby...you come sit on m' lap. You ain't too heavy 'n ya never will be."

He held you there, your bottom on his thigh and your legs across his knees, nestled between them. Pressing a gentle kiss to the side of your ear, he murmured, "Don't give any 'f it a thought. You're so perfect. Pretty as a peach, thought so from the first time I saw ya."

Oh, he always knew exactly what to say. Every minute he was with you made everything all better. Billy wrapped his arms around your waist, under your arms, one hand reaching up to rest on your heart. You leaned back into him and quelled every thought about your body, letting it be buried in the bundle of love he had you wrapped in.

"Can't do much for when you're not with me," he kissed your cheek, letting his lips linger there. "But when you are, I'll have ya eatin'." Billy lifted a slice of one of the apples he'd brought to your lips expectantly. Obediently, you opened your mouth and he fed it to you. "Atta girl."

Every day he uncovered some previously unseen facet of him that made you love him more. And could hardly do anything more than love him, love him with all your heart, love him like you'd never loved anything else. It wasn't give and take. It wasn't one sided. It was golden, pure and hope-filled, all encapsulated by this spot in his arms.

Your mother had insisted on a visit with Henry, and you hadn’t had the energy to protest.

Because she was apparently the expert on all things high society men, she told you to pay him a visit at his office. He would be so happy to see you, she’d said. Especially if you went with a smile.

So, biting the bullet, you allowed yourself to be trussed up like a prized calf and sent on your way, a tight smile plastered on your face as if by glue.

You looked at the tall building with dread. It nearly seemed to loom tantalizingly over you. Henry worked on the second floor, you’d been told (by him, numerous times). Gathering both your skirts and your courage, you made your way up the steps and opened the door.

A friendly woman directed you to the exact location of Henry’s office, and you took deep breaths all the way there. The outcome of the visit depended entirely on what kind of mood he was in. You prayed he’d had a good work day.

It was a unique gift he had, how he could make any door he was behind seem intimidating. You paused and stared at it, gritting your teeth. It’s only an hour, it’s only an hour.

Wishing on every eyebrow hair, star, and eyelash, you grasped the handle and pushed the door open. The sight behind it caused your eyes to go as round as the center of a daisy.

Henry was there, yes, but he was with a woman of unknown identity, who was sitting on his desk with half her dress unbuttoned and pushed down around her waist. Your fiancé was kissing her sloppily, his hands pushing her skirt up to her thighs, exposing the end of her stocking.

Involuntarily, you let out a gasp, your hand flying to your heart. Henry’s head whipped around, and you were almost pleased at his shock, at the slight look of guilt.

Before he could say anything, you turned right on your heel, shutting the door firmly behind you and walking briskly out. Maybe you should have felt bad. Threatened, angry, jealous, even. But instead you felt joyful.

Finally you had an out. You had a real, legitimate reason to leave him and call off the engagement. In high society abuse was (regrettably) tolerated, but infidelity was an entirely different thing.

Inappropriately giddy, you skipped out to your horse, and as you rode home the world seemed brighter. The sun was warm, the grass was green…it was so rare for you to feel this way when you weren’t with Billy.

Oh Billy! You were so excited to tell him, to hold his hands and say sincerely that it was over. You didn’t have to kiss behind closed doors anymore. A torrential stream of daydreams flooded your mind, ranging from running away to getting married, but this time to a man you loved.

You left your horse in the stables, bounding up the steps and immediately facing your mother in the drawing room.

She set aside her sewing and stood, looking puzzled. “What are you doing back so soon?”

Unable to help your elation, you gushed, “I caught Henry with another woman.”

Your mother didn’t seem put off by your tone. “You did?”

Gathering yourself up, you said, “I won’t marry him.”

Striding over to you, looking around for listening ears, your mother grabbed your arm and said in a harsh whisper, “What are you talking about? Of course you’re going to marry him.”

All your hopes and dreams were swept off the table, shattering into a million shiny pieces at your feet. Your heart sank like a rock to the bottom of the river. “What?”

Looking around suspiciously still, your mother pulled you further into the room and shut the door. When she turned back around to face you, her expression was nearly furious.

“I don’t know what you think you saw, but whatever it is…” she paused, looking you up and down. “It doesn’t matter. If he wants to continue the engagement, you will go through with it.”

The energy you’d accumulated from catching your fiancé wasn’t diminished like it normally would have been. There was a fire inside you that could not be quelled. “Over the last few months, he has treated me in some of the worst ways anyone could treat someone. I don’t love him, and I don’t want to marry him. You cannot force me down that aisle.”

Your mother took you by the arms and forced you to sit on the couch, stiffly sitting by you. She folded her hands in her lap primly, but the cold look on her face was hardly ladylike. “We’re nearly out of money.”

A cold wave of shock washed over you. “What do you mean?”

“Your father insisted on coddling you by keeping you in the dark but I cannot stand it any longer,” she said sharply. “Do you really think we left Atlanta with you for the fun of it? That we wouldn’t have sent you off on a train with Mr. Merritt so you were someone else’s problem if we could?”

It was a slap in the face if there ever was one. You could only stare at her.

Your mother continued with only a slightly softened tone. “Mr. Merritt possesses a sizable fortune. And with a marriage your father would gain advantages in the business he’s invested in. But only if you marry. If you end it, we will be ruined.”

Shame warred your inner instincts. You wanted to scream at the fact that you’d been only a pawn this entire time. And cry because of the obligation you felt to your family. Of course you didn’t want them to be left desolate. Your kind heart and seemingly permanently guilty mindset won out. Because it always did. Still, you tried to fight it, tears welling up precariously. “Please. I’ll be miserable if I have to spend the rest of my life with him.”

The emotion in your words did not sway her. “And what do you think will make you happy? That cowboy who likes to sneak around the property?”

You paled as she mentioned Billy, opening your mouth to try and diffuse the situation, but she merely shook her head, leaving you silent. Even the sight of her disappointment was enough to send you spiraling, a tactic she’d used since you were a child.

“What kind of life could that man, an outlaw-“ she said the word like it was dirty. “-possibly give you? Mr. Merritt offers stability. Comfort. If he’s stepping out, you can either live with it or try harder, since you clearly aren’t satisfying him.” Your mother set an uncomfortable hand on one of yours. “Be smart for once, and do the right thing. Or you will be responsible for our misery.”

The irony of that statement was not lost on you as she promptly stood and left, the door slamming behind her.

It’d been days and you’d hardly stopped crying.

Maybe your cheeks would never cease to be rosy, your eyes would never be dry again. Here in the cabin that was once your haven, you stood up straight with your arms folded and your eyes trained on the cold fireplace. The ash was akin to how you felt- once burning bright, now strewn about.

When the door opened behind you, you didn’t turn around. Nor did you when Billy’s arms slid around you, his chin resting on your shoulder. He must’ve taken his hat off, because it wasn’t nudging against your head.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he murmured, turning his head slightly to peck your cheek. When he caught sight of your reddened eyes and somber expression, he turned you around gently and pushed your face to his shoulder. “Baby…”

“I can’t see you anymore,” you breathed, feeling another wave of tears coming on.

Billy shook his head, his nose in your hair, hand softly stroking the back of your head. “What for?”

“I have to marry Henry-“ you started, and he pressed his lips to your head, cutting you off.

“You ain’t marryin’ that bastard,” he murmured, rubbing your back. “You don’t gotta be with me, but no way in hell are ya gonna be with him.”

“I want to be with you,” you pulled back, looking up at him. He had a bittersweet look in his eye, like he’d seen this coming. “But I have to marry him. My family…they…” His azure eyes reminded you of the seaside when you were little, deep, comforting pools you wanted to drown in.

Thumbing your cheek, Billy shook his head. “What’s your family done for you that you gotta keep givin’? That you gotta stay with someone who hurts you?”

Your lips parted to respond, but you found you didn’t know what to say. Although they were family, they had manipulated, scorned, and starved you; both of food and attention. All you could manage was, “I owe them everything. They took care of me.”

“That’s just what family’s s’posed to do,” Billy tucked some of your hair behind your ear, smoothing it back and continually running his fingers through it. “Ain’t somethin’ to repay.”

A single tear slipped from your eye. “They’ll be ruined if I don’t. I can’t leave them desolate.”

“‘S not your burden.” Billy pulled you back in so you were snug against his chest. “You didn’t get ‘em into this, and you don’t gotta get ‘em out.”

“Billy-“ A slight sob cut you off, and you slumped against him, his arms the comfort you had always known them to be.

He was the softest thing in the world at that moment because he loved you, really loved you like nobody else had. You could have sunk into him, buried yourself deep into his depths until the sun burnt out.

But the cold, nagging feeling inside you had other plans.

It was like tearing two magnets apart, the way you drew back from him. You took a heavy step back, taking one last look at him with teary eyes. And then, with a whispered goodbye, you left, disappearing into the cold dark world without any promise of coming back to the light.

Somehow more tragic than losing someone to death is losing someone who still exists in the world, because there will always be that possibility. The what-if. A chasm of regret.

In the next few weeks, it swallowed you, tore you into pieces and put you back together, even though you begged it not to, because then the hurt would only restart.

Henry had come to your door with false apologies and promises, talking in circles in a way that told you he was lying. You supposed you should have been happy he wasn't hitting you.

It felt as though you were standing still, letting things happen to you as time marched on. Your mother was disturbingly cheery, dragging you through the wedding plans, saying things you didn't want to hear and chiding you playfully when you showed little enthusiasm.

"A woman only gets one wedding, you know!" she said enthusiastically as you sat at the dinner table one night, nothing on your plate. She was holding a paper with the guest list, writing and crossing out names.

Your stomach growled softly.

Billy was in the shadows and corners of your life, as a ghost and sometimes not. You would see him across town sometimes as your mother took you shopping. He never said anything, never approached you, just watched silently.

One day as your mother was in the post office arguing for a better arrival time for invitations, he did come to you, removing his hat as he stood quietly leaning on the wall with you.

"Hey," he said softly, looking over you concernedly,

You didn't turn to face him. "Hey."

Always in tune with you, he must have known you didn't want to talk. Instead of asking how you were, a fact obvious to the human eye, he took one of your hands, lifting it and gently pressing something hard and round into it. When you looked down, you saw a shiny red apple, juicy and firm.

Looking up at Billy, your eyes widened slightly, your lips parting. "I-"

"Don't gotta say anythin', sunshine," he promised, taking your other hand and closing it over the apple. Lifting one hand, he traced your cheekbone, the thinning, pale lines of your face. Then his eyes wandered to the way your dress seemed to big for your frame, your bony arms. "Just take it, alright?"

You could hear your mother's shrill voice getting closer to the door. Nodding, you slipped the apple into the discreet pocket of your dress, and Billy squeezed your hand once before he left, disappearing around the corner.

Later in secret, you ate the apple gratefully, savoring every bite. He still cared about you. Even after you'd hurt him, left him. All the love you'd been trying to suppress came rushing back full-fledged. And now you were looking back at that night at the cabin, wishing you had done everything completely differently.

He probably would have run away with you, you realized one night before closing your eyes to fall asleep. The last thought you had was one of hope. Maybe you could fix it. Your family be damned.

The next morning a renewed spirit ignited in you. Maybe if you could find him, confess your loneliness without him, the bright and shiny love you still possessed...you didn't want to get your hopes up, but the possibilities set your heart aflame.

Henry was there when you got downstairs, and he turned around, smiling pleasantly when you walked into the drawing room. Perfect.

"I need to tell you something," you said determinedly, striding toward him.

"So do I." Henry caught you by the arms. "You need to pack your things. We're leaving."

Your mind went blank. What did he mean, leaving? "Leaving."

"That's right." His hair was a little messy, his smile borderline manic. "We're going to go somewhere else and get married when we arrive."

"Wait, slow down," you shook your head, sure you'd misheard him. "What are you talking about?"

"Do you remember the young lady you...ah...caught me with?" he said in a whisper, eyes darting to the side suspiciously. "Her husband knows. He's got it out for me. So, we need to leave as soon as possible."

"What about my parents?" you asked, looking back at the door worriedly. He turned your chin to face him again and you sucked in a breath at the violation.

"They won't be told. Your father will take over my position and they'll be fine," he pulled on your hand. "Go upstairs and start packing. We'll be travelling light."

You pulled your hands back, casting your eyes to the side as you thought. If Henry was leaving and your father and mother would be taken care of... this time, there was truly nothing holding you back. No guilt or loose ends or anything left behind.

And now that you had a chance at freedom, there was only one person you were running to.

Slowly realizing this, you lifted your head to meet his eyes, your face changing. "No." Your voice was light, and you said the word as a realization.

Henry stared at you. "What do you mean, no?"

"No." You said it firmly this time, straightening up as you looked at him. "I...am not going anywhere with you."

"You're my fiancé-"

"And you've been awful to me," you continued, a new, unfamiliar determination taking over. Lifting your chin, you couldn't seem to stop the words from pouring out. "You hit me, you cheated on me. And now you're asking me to run away with you like nothing ever happened." Shaking your head, you turned, moving to walk away. "We're finished."

White hot pain blinded you, manifesting in a sting on your face. Your knees buckled, and the floor was not a forgiving landing space. As your brain registered what had happened, you waited for the flood of lament, the remorse for having pushed him this far. But it never came.

Henry grabbed you by the arms and pulled you up, sending you stumbling back. He shook you, his expression murderous. "You should be grateful I put up with you after all the grief you've given me."

Looking you over, he exhaled once through his nose, and you were reminded of a bull about to charge. He could have been thinking about killing you in that moment, and you would have no idea.

And that thought, that he could kill you, was viable in that moment. For a second you were sure he would. That he would beat you bloody until your own family wouldn't be able to recognize your mangled corpse.

Instead, he pulled you by the arm outside, barking an order to get on his horse. Your body moved without thinking, and before you knew it you were riding, hanging onto him for dear life.

Would he kill you somewhere remote? Where they wouldn't find your body?

Henry took you all the way to town, getting off the horse in front of the local bank. He gave you a firm glare, and you knew it was a silent order to stay there. You got off the horse, petting its mane and trying to calm yourself. He wasn't going to let you go back home. By all counts, he was kidnapping you, forcing you to go heaven knows where. Hot tears blinded your vision, and you couldn't help but let one slip. Maybe you were entitled to it.

There was a hand on your shoulder, and you jumped, eyes wide as you turned around.

Billy held up his hands in a show of peace, looking surprised. "Woah, sunshine, it's just me." He squinted at you, and you knew he'd noticed your tear. "Hey...'r ya-"

He was cut off by you barreling into him, body smashing against his, arms around his middle, face burrowed in his chest. Your chest heaved with panicked breaths, and you breathed in his scent, wishing you could meld yourself into him.

"Hey...hey, baby, whatsa matter?" Billy asked worriedly, smoothing your hair and trying to calm you down. "Easy, sweetheart. Easy. Breathe f' me, yeah? You're safe with me, I've gotcha. I've gotcha."

Your breaths slowed down as you held onto him. He pulled you into a spot under the shade of a building, getting you out of the sun. "I've got you, sweet." Billy looked at you sadly when you lifted your head, his hand finding what must have been a patch of redness on your cheek. His fingers were cool against the injury, and you leaned into it. "Oh my baby. Who'd ever hurt my sweet baby?"

There were footsteps to the side, and you lifted your head frantically, seeing Henry walk out of the bank and look around for you. Billy followed your gaze and his face hardened.

Not wasting a second, he took his hat off his head and shoved it onto yours, pulling you into a nearby alley. He leaned sideways against the wall, so he was blocking any passerby's view of you. Once you were there, right up against him, he whispered, "What's goin' on? Ya look scared half to death."

Body nearly shaking, you looked up into his eyes. Seaside. "Henry's leaving town. There's someone threatening him. And he's...he's making me come with him."

He looked shocked, shaking his head. "No... no no no, you're not leavin'. He's not takin' ya anywhere."

"Once I knew he was leaving I wanted to come to you," you said brokenly, tears forming rivers on your skin. "My parents are taken care of. There wouldn't be anything...it was selfish of me to think you'd still want me after I-"

Billy pulled you in, knocking his hat up on your head so he could kiss your forehead. "Don't think I'd ever stop wantin' ya. You've ruined me for anyone else, my love. That ain't the point." He looked at you, nodding and urging you to continue.

"He didn't like when I said I wasn't coming," you said softly, closing your eyes and leaning your face fully into his hand. "We rode out here, and he just went inside for a minute. He's probably looking for me, I should-"

"If ya think I'm lettin' ya go anywhere with him..." Billy's fingers stroked the afflicted area of your cheek. "...you've got another thing comin'."

Looking up at him, seeing how sincere he was, how intent he would be on protecting you...it made your eyes well up for another reason entirely. You buried your face into his chest again, holding on tight to him. He held you close, and you knew he wouldn't let go until you started to.

Someone cleared their throat, and you jolted, looking up. To your horror, Henry was standing there, glaring at the pair of you.

Billy turned, and his eyes narrowed when he saw who it was. He pushed you gently behind him, keeping one of his hands clasped in yours. "Can I help ya?"

"You can hand my fiancée back." Henry's words were threatening, but they didn't seem as scary with Billy in front of you.

He stood tall and firm. "I don't think so."

Henry laughed in a chilling way. "I see. You think you've got her, Kid? We're engaged. Bet she didn't tell you that."

"I'm fully aware," Billy said unwaveringly. "Believe me, I know everything."

That seemed to take the wind out of Henry's sails just slightly, and he moved forward as if to physically hurt Billy. But your man remained solid, standing and staring him down.

For all of Henry's talk, you knew there wasn't any was he wasn't at least a little afraid of Billy. The fastest draw in the West, a famed outlaw. your ex-fiancé didn't stand a chance against him.

Scoffing, Henry took a tiny step back. "You'd really go this far for her? She's nothing but a-"

In an instant, Billy had him against the wall, holding him by his shirt, his face right up close. "You don't wanna finish that." His voice was low and dangerously calm.

You almost felt bad for relishing Henry's visible fear. He was so used to being at the top of the food chain, and Billy had knocked him down to the bottom. Henry's eyes were wide, and he looked at you, as if you'd help him. "You won't let him hurt me...you..."

The dead look in your eyes stopped him from saying the rest.

Billy turned to look at you, and his eyes softened. He gave you a look, and you knew right then that he would do anything you wanted. This was the face of a man who would kill for you. The power that gave you was scary.

Turning your eyes to Henry, you saw how pathetic he was, how vulnerable. Now he felt how he'd made you feel every day since that first morning in the drawing room in Atlanta.

And that was enough for you.

You focused back on Billy, shaking your head just slightly. In his eyes it was clear he wanted to do more, wanted to make him pay for everything he'd done to you, everything he'd done to everyone. But he didn't, and it was a testament to how much he loved you.

Shoving Henry to the ground and letting go of him, Billy spat, "You're not even fit to look at 'er." Leaving him crumpled at his boots, Billy went to you, his hands finding your shoulders as he looked you over. "You okay? All good?" He waited until you nodded before pulling you into his arms.

For a moment, you were more than content. Billy had you safe, and he was going to keep you safe. But when you looked up, you saw Henry getting to his feet shakily, reaching his hand inside his jacket and pulling out something silver, pointing toward the two of you.

Your eyes widened. "Billy-!"

He was a step ahead, whipping around, pistol in hand. A shot echoed in the alleyway, and for a second, you weren't sure whose it was.

But then Billy was turning back to you, gun already tucked back against his hip. He looked over every inch of you, tucking your hair behind your ears and gently pressing one of his big hands to your head, settling the hat more firmly against your head. Now both hands were settled behind your head, holding you with his palms over your hair.

His body was blocking Henry's, and you knew he was trying to shield you. So, you let him. You looked up into his eyes, feeling the last tendrils of the engagement crumble from around you. He nudged his nose against yours. "M' brave girl..." he whispered. "Nobody's gonna hurt ya no more."

When he pulled you into his chest again, your belief in the statement multiplied tenfold.

You and Billy had left town by the time the sun rose on the next day. It felt metaphorical, the way you snuck back into your home to gather a few things, tiptoeing past your parents' rooms and taking a horse from the stables, riding side by side with your man over the hills and out of sight.

You never saw Henry's arrest. Never saw the judge proclaim him "unworthy of even a wink of decency".

You never saw your father regain his status as a businessman. He and your mother made the journey back to Atlanta, where he operated remotely, building his success back up.

You never saw anybody from your old life again,

Turning over in bed, you lazily looked up at Billy, snuggling up against his chest as sunlight spilled through the curtains, creating a warm patch on the sheets. You treasured every morning you got with him, remembering that first one where you'd left in such a hurry. You never had to do that again.

Billy nosed against your cheek, peppering gentle kisses over it. Oh, the way he looked at you. Eyes sleepy, smile bright even in the early hours, his arms tightened around you. He muttered against his skin, "I don't think I even know how much I love you."

Rubbing his chest contently, you sighed softly. Your smile seemed permanent these days. "My love."

"My sunshine." He pulled you so you were resting directly on top of him, his eyes warm as you folded your arms on his chest, your chin resting there.

Your liberty was his gift to you, and you chose to spend it on him. Billy took your heart and showed you how it beat.

"Every time," you breathed, and his lips brushed yours, his hand tangling in your hair. "I would choose you every time."

Previous Part

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smallvictorianchildwhofoundwifi · 4 months ago

Text

Long ass story, the post finally arrives! @the-copycat-hero

On the same road that a young boy takes on their way to his friend's house is a hospital. A hospital that is always busy with someone to help, so busy that the people occupying their rooms tend to blur together.

And even in the absence of the boy and the house that gave a roof to the wonderful family of the boy's friend, the hospital still stood on that road. The hospital with so many rooms, one couldn't count them without getting mixed up and turned around.

But in the mix of madness, hidden in the blur of the patients, was room 4307. The room that held a great tragedy and a great miracle of one person experienced and seen by no one before.

When passing by room 4307, the voices of several teenaged students could be heard.

A knock on the room door grabbed the attention of the three students, and the door opened to reveal a familiar scruffy man, with the most droopy red eye, constant annoyed expression, and long black hair to frame his face, perfectly signaling his "do not talk to me" vibe. Except now this man was a caring teacher, checking up on his after-mortem student.

"He should be free to leave in another week, if the doctors decide he's recovering well and it's safe for him to walk, train, study, the whole shebang." Aizawa-sensei answered the question the students hadn't known he'd heard.

"Now," he continued, not waiting for any of them to reply, "I understand you two are worried reps, but Monoma's got a few other visitors today."

Taking the hint, Shoda and Kendo said their goodbyes and exited the hospital room.

Monoma rested his chin on his hand and groaned to the teacher, "You sure know how to clear a room Teach, but they really couldn't have stuck around for a few doctors visits?" Monoma never needed to say just how much he loves his classmates and wants to be with them, but he always pushes sneaks it into a conversation anyways.

"Oh it's not just doctors."

Monoma was confused. The last he checked, none of his classmates were allowed to visit him because of his condition- Kendo and Shoda having special permission that Vlad-sensei fought for under the guise that they're his class reps.

A figure emerged into the doorway that Monoma hadn't realized was still open. A figure of long blonde hair and pale skin, who's dark green eyes were too faraway to be in the body of a caring mother, visiting her living son.

"Neito." She said loud enough so that he could hear with his very limited hearing. It wasn't unnatural to her to speak like that, she had to do the same thing growing up with her mother with the same hearing loss as her son.

But now she had to do it so her son would know she was there, not just what she was saying.

"Oh." is all he could find within him to say. Aizawa looked between the two before leaving with a quick note that he would check on Monoma later.

The woman stood in the doorway for a few moments, looking around the hospital room; the iv, the monitors, and every piece of furniture had more eye contact with her than Monoma did.

"I wasn't expecting you to visit."

The simple sentence struck her out of her stupor, looking at him almost offendedly.

"You've been in the hospital almost a week, after being dead for days. You just fought in a war and are expected to skip back over to school, and you didn't think I would visit?" Her voice raised a little as she continued talking and walked a little closer to his bed.

Monoma thought of 100 things to say to her, none of them nice, but instead he looked back at the doorway with all his might to see the blurry sliding door closed. No one else was expected to enter.

"I see dad isn't with you." Monoma tried to meet his mother's eyes, his words carrying another message: if he can't be bothered to visit, why should I expect you either?

His mother took a sharp inhale and squeezed her eyes shut. "Your father- he..." they both knew she had nothing good to say.

"He has nothing to do with me. I'm so happy you're okay." She said with such tenderness you could believe that it came from a caring mother.

Monoma wanted nothing more that to believe her- she had no reason to lie- but he couldn't stop his stupid mouth from talking. "Yeah I bet you no longer have to worry about fighting over who has to deal with the funeral services."

Monoma couldn't see it, but her face cringed for a moment, just a moment, where she looked guilty.

Despite his blindness, her silence spoke volumes and Monoma knew exactly what that meant.

"You didn't...”

"Neito I-"

YOU SERIOUSLY FOUGHT OVER THAT?! DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW CRAZY THAT IS??"

"I know, but I do care about you Neito- that was just-"

"Oh yes, the love and care I feel." Monoma usually had a better handle on his emotions, but at the moment he really didn't care how he was acting, he just wanted his mother gone.

"I DO-" the woman who was practically foreign to her son stopped as she realized she was shouting, and finally walked up to his bed to cup his face and spoke in a quieter voice.

"I do care about you. I love you so much, and I'm sorry that I haven't been able to make you believe that. And I promise, I will do what I can to make sure you're safe." The emphasis on safe made Monoma nervous.

"What do you mean safe?"

She let go of Monoma and backed up just a little bit, still making eye contact. "I'm taking you out of UA."

Monoma felt his blood run cold and his heart drop. "... what?"

"Neito, look around. Look at you!" She waved her hands around frantically before gesturing at her bedridden son. "Is this really the life you want for yourself? To be getting injured all the time? To die on a battlefield?" Her voice rose the more she spoke and this time she didn't try to lower it.

Monoma didn't know what to think, what to say. All words died in his mouth. When he was a kid, all he wanted was for his parents to pay attention to him, to care about him- and now he was getting that in the worst way possible.

"I am not leaving 1-B." Monoma said slowly

His mother looked aghast. "Those people got you killed and you want to go back?"

"What the hell did you expect when you convinced dad to let me be a hero? Did you think I was just going to sit on my ass-"

"Language, I am your mothe-"

"AND DO nothing!? My life is always going to be on the line. And YOU agreed to that when you let me be a hero."

His mother stared at him for several moments before speaking up again, much quieter than before to where Monoma could barely hear her, "Well I'm taking that back. I'm sorry Neito."

They stood in silence until they heard the door slide open again, a doctor and Aizawa on the other side.

"Pardon us," the doctor said, "Are we interrupting?"

Monoma's mother quickly broke eye contact with her son to address the doctor, "No, I was just about to head out. Pardon me if I stole important time from you doctor.”

"Oh you can stay if you’d like, it's just a check up and typically parents stay with their kids during these." The doctor clearly didn't understand the situation.

"It's just a check up right? She doesn't need to stay." Monoma stared back at his mother with a look telling her to get out.

Before she left she announced, "I'll be back tomorrow." And left with a nod.

Aizawa eyed her until she was out of sight and snapped his attention to Monoma, but said nothing.

The next day, true to her promise, "Mrs." Monoma made her way into the hospital that her son had been staying at for the past week and a half.

Her heels clacked on the tile floor as she started to make her way up to his room before hearing a man's voice from behind her.

"Ah, Mrs. Monoma."

She turned around to find the owner of the voice was the scroungy man who was next to the doctor yesterday. A teacher, she remembered, but his name...

"Hello. You're one of Neito's teachers, yes?" She didn't bother with reaching out a hand to shake, she didn't want to formalize with a man who helped kill her son.

"Aizawa Shouta, Mrs. Monoma. We haven't properly met."

"Well, now we have. If you don't mind me, I'm going to visit my son- who is hospitalized." Monoma said shortly, a soupcon of resentment in her voice, as she turned around and started to walk away.

Aizawa didn't try to stop her but continued talking. "Your son is actually a topic I wanted to discuss with you. We've been informed that you plan to remove him from the hero course and UA entirely, whether he wants it or not."

Monoma stopped in her tracks and whipped around, "Yes well, sometimes people make decisions for others without asking their permission. It's how things get done." She slowly walked towards the audacious man, her voice etched with discontent. "It's what UA saw fit to do when they shipped off our children to war with little regard on if they'd come home to us."

The mother stood in front of Aizawa with a face of anger and her voice a threatening whisper, “Now you may see my actions as paranoid, or stringent, but I am doing what is best for him and one day he will understand that. It doesn’t have to be tomorrow or next week, but this is the decision I have made and he will just have to deal with it.”

Aizawa understood where she was coming from. The hero commission demanded that everyone with a hero license were to fight, and no parents were made aware of this in case there was an uproar in reaction. Illogical, in his opinion- and look how that decision landed.

But as much as Aizawa understood and agreed with this mother's anger, he came here for a reason. "I completely understand your decision. However, your son loves being at this school, and being with his classmates. His homeroom teacher has reported that he's been much happier as the school year went on and Neito finds a lot of comfort in his friends here. If you were to take him out-"

"YOU GET NO SAY IN WHAT IS GOOD FOR MY SON'S WELLBEING." Monoma suddenly shouted as she stuck an accusative finger in Aizawa's chest, "BECAUSE OF YOUR IDEA OF "SUPERVISION", NEITO IS STUCK IN A HOSPITAL BED FOR THREE WEEKS. HE HAS A DEATH CERTIFICATE. I WOULD RATHER NEITO HAVE A LIFE AWAY FROM UA THAN NO LIFE AT ALL." She took in a shaky breath and lowered her arm to her side, body tense and unmoving.

The air was thick as silence followed the mother's shouts. Then suddenly, Aizawa lowered his body in a bow and spoke in acquiesce.

"You're right. It was my job to keep your son safe and I failed. Because of my failure as a hero and a caretaker- you, your son, and all his classmates have gone through a terrible experience and I cannot offer enough condolences and apologies to erase your pain, as much as I wish I could." Aizawa paused for a moment, clearly pensive and radiating sorrow. He kept his bow low and respectful and took a deep breath before making his request, "But despite what has happened, Neito still wishes to be a hero. He wants to continue his educational journey here at UA, and he wants to continue his life alongside his friends in class 2-B."

"So please, do not take away Neito's dream because of our shortcomings."

Monoma looked at the pleading teacher as if she had been turned upside-down. Working her entire career in the modeling industry and then at her husbands company, an actual remorseful apology was rare, and was certainly not expected from the "heroes" entrusted with her son's life and had messed up horrendously. She felt ambivalent staring at this man with an eye patch and a metal leg, realizing that those are from trying. This man had truly tried to protect her son and might have even given his life to protect him.

But all she could think was her son having the same fate- missing limbs and appendages, failing to save people and feeling sorrow and despair. Her heart wouldn't be able to take that.

"I can't... I can't do that to myself, or my son." She spoke slowly and low, her voice thick. "Have a good day." A clear end to the conversation and Aizawa watched as the woman turned and walked away, making her way to her son's hospital room.

As Mrs Monoma started to open the hospital door, she stopped at the sound of two distressed teenage shouts coming from the room.

"WHAT?!"

Through the small opening she had made through the door, she watched a short, round faced boy with light blue hair and a taller muscular redhead girl converse with Neito.

"She's taking you out of UA?" The boy said.

"She can't do that- I mean, this has been your dream for years and-" the distressed girl spoke quickly but Neito managed to cut her off.

"I know..." He held his hand up to motion the girl to stop, "But I don't think there's anything I can do. She sounded pretty ready to take me out."

Seeing the dejected look on Neito's face made his mother so upset to see. She knew that he didn't like this decision but that's what is best for him... right?

The boy sat down on one of the chairs next to the hospital bed and sat in thought, his eyebrows knit together. "And you're sure there's no way of convincing her?"

Neito's voice broke as he spoke, "I... I don't know." He brought his legs towards his chest, something the doctors definitely wouldn't approve but Neito showed no pain.

The redhead girl gripped onto the end of the bed and was practically shaking in anger. "Why does she care?" She whispered.

Mrs Monoma felt offended by the outrageous question, but there was something tugging on the back of her mind, a blurry memory of someone with red hair.

The round faced boy looked at the girl like she was suddenly someone unfamiliar.

"Well, any worried parent might do this, we should've expected it. I mean," he let out a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood, "I'm surprised Midoriya's still enrolled."

"But it's not like she's ever cared before." The girl let out an aggravated breath, "Now she just- appears out of nowhere and-"

"Kendo." The boy interrupted, "there's no point in getting all mad over it, Monoma's the only one who gets a say in what to do."

At the mention of the girl's name, the memory snapped to the front of her mind, and Mrs Monoma remembered a little redhead girl at her door, along with an older boy who looked similar to the girl, saying she was Neito's friend. The boy introduced the two of them as the Kendo's who lived a few blocks away.

Neito, still curled in on himself, just shrugged and mumbled something.

This "Kendo" seemed to have heard him and suddenly reached out her hands and held his face- much more aggressively than Mrs Monoma recalled having done just the day before, but Neito looked less tense with her. No, not quite "less tense", he was just comfortable. Comfortable with her, and not his own mother.

"No-" Kendo started, "no it is not okay, and we are not going to let her take you out of UA."

"But what-" he started to argue.

"You love it here don't you?" The girl interrupted. Neito stared at her for a second, surprised by the question, before letting out a small 'yeah'. "Then we are not going to let her take you out."

The hidden mother sucked in a small breath at that. How could he love it there? Regardless of any happy memories, they had gotten him killed. They couldn't guarantee his safety anymor-

They already couldn't guarantee his safety for a while.

She remembered hearing about the USJ attack, and when they were attacked at camp. She'd thought about how dangerous it was, and glad that Neito was okay, but she'd never thought to take him out over it. She barely even thought to call. She didn't care when they insisted on housing him- and all the other students.

UA had been a danger for a long time- all the more reason to take him out now.

The girl was half on the bed after reaching out to Neito, but was too focused on his face to notice or move, "You have wanted to be a hero for YEARS, and I won't let anyone take that dream from you, you hear me?"

The other boy spoke up as well, "Yeah, we'll all be right there with you, just give us the word."

Neito looked between his two classmates and his eyes became glossy. Kendo noticed and crawled on the bed to hug him.

The moment was silent as the two sat on the bed in a tight hug before Neito whispered:

"I like being at UA."

"I know Monoma."

"I don't want to leave."

"I know, we won't let you."

"I don't want to change my life, I like it now."

Kendo said nothing but squeezed him tighter.

...

....

"I don't want to change" the words rung in her ears. The woman behind the door felt as if she couldn't breathe, breath became irrelevant, unimportant to the mind of this woman. "I don't want to change," how many times had those words echoed in her head in passing thought. How many hours had she stayed in bed, wishing she hadn't changed herself for a faux man, who spoke empty promises. How many years of her life was wasted away because she allowed others to decide her life.

Hiromi no longer felt that she was standing on a hospital floor, or that she was standing at all. Everything felt lost, that she was floating in everything her life was, floating in nothing.

Hiromi? When was she last called her name. She wasn't Hiromi anymore, she was a Monoma. That's who she had been for the last 17 years of her life. That's all she was.

Is this how Neito would feel when he was in his adult years? Had he already reached his adult years? He just fought in a war, did he really still feel like a child? Could he?

Mrs. Monoma found herself sitting on the floor, clutching onto the chair next to her, but she couldn't feel the grip, couldn't feel the cool tile floors. She couldn't feel anything. Everything was lost- her life was lost, the man she fell in love with was lost, her son was lost, her beautiful sister was lost, the wedding of her dreams was lost, the cozy home she dreamed of filled with laugher and love was lost, what else? What else was ripped away from her, what else had she chosen to throw away in exchange for a life she didn't want, hadn't desired. When had this happened.

She felt as if she turned around and everything was suddenly gone. But she knew it wasn't true, she could feel the pathway of her life crumbling as she walked for years. She's cried so many nights as she felt the unsteady cracks catch at her heels and make her trip, scratches and bruises appearing in every single place, later replaced by scars, scars replacing every single part of her, leaving her nothing of the same person she once was, the giddy and ebullient woman who loved the world despite it's battles. She was now cold and emotionless, broken by the world, by her world, and breaking everything else in the process.

And yet still she walked, on a cracking, breaking, spiraling road, because what else is she supposed to do? What other road is there to go? There's nothing left, every other road she had was destroyed with her own hands till nothing else was left, nothing to fix the road, nothing to know the road even existed, except maybe a shared name or a picture, but even those are cracked and freyed, erased and thrown out.

Over the years she worked and worked, trying to appease her in-laws, trying to wash out her emotions and everything she loved in order to be taken more seriously. And for what? To become "Mrs Monoma"? "Mrs" "Monoma". That's all she was, a Monoma wife. A wife to that slimy, stinking, rotten man that can't even stick up for his WIFE, the woman he CHOSE to love, chose to MARRY- instead it was left up to her to to go against those foul people, and look how good she was at that. Left with a son she didn't want, a house she didn't want, a job she didn't want, a husband she didn't want, a title she didn't want- a "Mrs. Monoma"

Mrs Monoma

"Mrs." "Mrs." "Mrs." Was all they ever called her.

What about Hiromi? When was the last time someone ever called her by her name? When was the last time she talked to someone who called her that?

"Mrs." Oh it was all she ever heard anymore, "Mrs" "Mrs" "Mrs-

"Miss?!" Hiromi felt someone gently grab her shoulders and lightly shake her, knocking her out of her stupor.

Suddenly she could feel the cool tile floor underneath her, the grip her hand had on the chair next to her. It felt as if all of her senses came back in an instant and immediately short circuited, the lights blinding her, the ringing sound in her ears making it hard to hear what the nurse next to her was saying.

Hiromi's eyes focused on the woman and let her ears slowly stop ringing to let the nurse's voice into her head.

"Ma'am are you alright?"

"Ah, yes yes I'm fine." Hiromi put a hand on her head as if suffering a headache. "Got lightheaded for a moment is all."

"We should get you some place to lay down and some water." The kind nurse helped her up but Hiromi stepped away from her.

"Oh no I'm quite fine now, I'm just visiting my son and I'll be leaving."

The nurse knit her brows together and cautiously reached for the woman's arm. "It's dangerous to shrug off dizzy spells, do you have them frequently?"

Hiromi could recall a few after a good many hours of staring at her computer screen, or working long hours of calls, meetings, reviewing products, writing papers, and other grueling tasks- but those were caused by overworking herself. This was fine, she was fine.

"No, I don't, I am completely fine. Thank you." She began to reach for the door next to her as the nurse continued to reach for her arm, when the door suddenly opened and two high school students were on the other end.

"Oh." Kendo stared Mrs. Monoma with no attempt to hide her surprise that the woman has visited.

Hiromi knew there were many things she should say to this girl, many apologies and many thanks. But at the moment, she didn't care to do any of it; she walked past the two children and walked right for Neito.

"Miss I really do think you should sit down-" the nurse shouted but Hiromi didn't care. She kept walking towards her son and reached her arms out surround him in a stuffing hug. Probably the fist hug she's given him since he got into UA.

Neito squeaked at suddenly getting pulled into a hug, especially since he had no idea what was happening, having little vision and little hearing. But he was a smart one, from what little he heard, what he could feel, and who had yet to visit him, Neito could reasonably deduce that it was his mother hugging him.

Reasonably.

But… why was she hugging him? Monoma tried to look over where his mother had stomped over from to gain some context.

He could see a blurry figure that looked unlike his classmates walk closer and speak loud enough that he could hear her worried tone, before she suddenly stopped as Monoma could feel his mother say something, although his head was swimming so much he couldn't discern what it was.

The arms around him squeezed him tighter for a moment and Monoma could hear his mother's voice.

"I'm sorry."

Monoma could barely understand his mother. He could hear her, but what she said made no sense. Why was she apologizing? What stirred her so much that she was apologizing?

His thoughts cut off when he heard a sniffle, and his mother moved a hand to hold his head.

"I'm sorry." She said again but in a much wobblier voice.

It felt like had time stopped, the two stuck there like statues- unmoving and unbound by time. The only movement was Monoma shifting a hand to complete the hug. He held his mother and he held on tight: an action he had wanted to do for so long.

Monoma felt like a child, holding onto his mom as she hugged him tight. It felt childish to admit that the whole time he had been cooped up in the hospital, a small piece of him wanted to hug his mother. It felt dumb too.

Neito was never close with either of his parents, his mom felt estranged to him. But in that moment everything felt...

Right. Like two pieces of a puzzle finally connected. Neito wanted nothing more than to just stay there with his mom. For a moment, for a year, for forever- it didn't matter- he just wanted to stay right there.

#monoma neito #neito monoma #monoma death au #bnha #mha #my hero acedamia #boku no hero acedamia #kendo itsuka #itsuka kendou #aizawa shouta #nirengeki shoda #hiromi monoma #!!!!#god this has been hanging over my head for like a week #probably 2 #I'M DONE IM SATISFIED

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