#I will be thinking about that for the next 3 business months
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Answered below the cut:
How many fics have you worked on since January?
I've worked on 9 since January, one of which I'm still currently working on and will be working on for the next few months, probably.
What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?
A lot of things! I think the biggest one is alternating perspectives.
What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)
Baldur's Gate 3, obviously, haha.
How many fandoms did you write for this year?
Just the one, BG3.
What ships captured your heart?
Mostly Wyllstarion, but I also wrote Minscstarion and Halsin/Ulder Ravengard LOOOLLLL..... crack ships taken seriously are so good to me
What characters captured your heart?
Wyll mostly, and also Astarion.
Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?
Yes, all of the ones I've listed so far! The newest ones were Minscstarion and Ulsin LOOL I sort of was the flagship for both of those.
What fic meant the most to you to write?
What's Become of You, because that was the first long-form creative writing project I've ever done! I'd only done short stories before then, and then I sat down and churned out a novel-length fanfiction. it meant a lot to me to know that it was something I'm capable of.
What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?
Probably also What's Become of You, but all of the fics I've written have made me super happy. If they didn't make me happy, I wouldn't write them. Right now, the fic I'm working on (titled "Sorry For Your Loss") is really making me excited too, but I won't be posting it for a while.
What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?
Again, What's Become of You.
What fic was the most difficult to write?
The one I'm currently working on. Where What's Become of You basically already had a whole plot outline because it just follows the entire plot of BG3, Sorry For Your Loss is far more original and has required SO much outlining and re-outlining and re-re-re-outlining, and I've redone so many chapters from the ground up because I wasn't happy with them. It's been a real challenge, but it's one that I'm really excited to keep conquering >:^)
What fic was the easiest to write?
Keep Talking, for sure. That one's just brainless smut. Of course, that's made it my most popular wyllstarion fanfiction HAHAHAHAHA.... but that's how these things go.
What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?
Shortest was Keep Talking, longest was What's Become of You.
What were your go-to writing songs?
The "deep focus" playlist on spotify hahahahaha I can't listen to stuff with lyrics much when I'm writing, and a lot of other background songs end up distracting me. Honestly, 75% of the time I'm just writing in silence.... or to the sound of a busy crowd. (Don't worry, I don't write anything NSFW in public.)
What was the hardest fic to title?
Health Potions (Or: If Only Someone Here Knew Cure Light Wounds). That one was a toss up, and as you can see, I still couldn't choose between two titles lmao
What's your favorite title of the year?
Probably A Haughty Spirit (Goeth Before a Fall) because that's a bible verse I chopped up and that just cracks me up a little bit. I have the title for an eventual sequel planned if I ever write it, which would be "To Be Humble (In Spirit with the Lowly)."
Share your favorite opening line
Do chapter opening lines count? Here's a sneak peek from Sorry For Your Loss.
Share your favorite ending line
Another chapter ending line from Sorry For Your Loss.
Share your favorite piece of dialogue
Share your funniest line
"He was the best-dressed homeless man in the city. Of this he was sure."
What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?
While working on my latest fic, a certain conversation went in a totally different direction than I planned, but I ended up really liking how it turned out. I had to go back to the drawing board for a couple things later in the story because of it, but I think it's way better this way.
What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?
Google Drive mostly. I like to write things on paper when I'm outlining, or when I'm feeling stuck. It keeps me from deleting things, and I care less about getting it Perfect that way.
If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?
Finishing What's Become of You, definitely.
Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?
No, I wanted to get a cake for What's Become of You, but I had plans that day and that ended up being fun enough that I didn't feel the need to get a cake.
How did you recharge between fics?
Laying on the floor. I don't actually have a recharge method, I just write when inspiration strikes me.
Did you create fanworks other than fic?
Oh, yes. So much fanart lmao.
How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)
Just one! Wyllstarion Secret Solstice event, but I did art instead of writing for that one.
If this were an awards show, who would you thank?
@foxflowering definitely!! She really helped me improve my writing so much and she was such a fantastic editor for What's Become of You.
What's left on your to-do list for 2024?
Keep writing Sorry For Your Loss, really.
What would you like to write next year?
I want to finish Sorry For Your Loss and do a couple more short-form Wyllstarion pieces. I have ideas! Lots of ideas!!!!
A slightly revised version of last year's questions! Two ways to play: Reblog and have your followers send you numbers, or answer the whole list!
How many fics have you worked on since January?
What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?
What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)
How many fandoms did you write for this year?
What ships captured your heart?
What characters captured your heart?
Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?
What fic meant the most to you to write?
What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?
What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?
What fic was the most difficult to write?
What fic was the easiest to write?
What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?
What were your go-to writing songs?
What was the hardest fic to title?
What's your favorite title of the year?
Share your favorite opening line
Share your favorite ending line
Share your favorite piece of dialogue
Share your funniest line
What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?
What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?
If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?
Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?
How did you recharge between fics?
Did you create fanworks other than fic?
How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)
If this were an awards show, who would you thank?
What's left on your to-do list for 2024?
What would you like to write next year?
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here we are together underneath the Christmas tree
written for @bucktommywinterfest prompt: December 22-28: Christmas/Hanukkah and/or firefam holiday party just a silly lil smth, idk what this is lmao
Merry Christmas <3
rating: G words: 1.1k
[also on Ao3]
“Hey, Tommy.” He hears Maddie’s voice, and turns his head to smile at her. He’s leaning against the doorway to the living room, a drink in hand. He’s looking out at the party still going strong in the living room, people mingling, drinks pouring, festive music playing. “What are you doing standing here all alone?” She joins Tommy, leaning against the doorframe opposite him. “Where’s my brother? I was starting to think he’s glued to your hand,” she jokes, and it gets a laugh out of Tommy. “He’s a little busy.” He nods towards the corner of the room, where a joyous laughter erupts at that very moment. There he is, Evan, shining brightly like a beam of sunshine, while he’s entertaining the younger kids. He looks so in his element, playing with them, goofing off, helping them unpack their gifts, and the kids love him. Tommy knows he has the most fond and lovesick expression on his face, and he doesn’t even want to hide it. This is his man, and he loves him so much – and one day, hopefully, they���ll have their own kids who will look at Evan this adoringly. They’ve talked about it briefly, they know where they stand, and as scary as it sometimes seems, Tommy’s so excited for a future with Evan. “And I’m just taking a little break.” Tommy shrugs with one arm, eyes scanning the room, feeling a little wistful tonight, but also awed and grateful that he’s here with all those amazing people. Sometimes it just gets overwhelming. “He’s so good with them.” Maddie comments, a grin on her own face. Tommy hums in agreement, and then her attention is back on him. “You okay?” She asks. He can feel her piercing gaze on the side of his face. He must not be able to hide the slight melancholy from his expression that well.
“Yeah,” he nods, taking a sip of his drink. “Yeah, just- I’m not used to… all this.” He nods towards the room, hoping she gets what he means. Evan playing with the kids. Hen and Athena sipping wine and gossipping on the couch. Bobby talking to May and Denny while he cooks in the kitchen. Chimney, Karen and Eddie laughing about something loudly. Other familiar faces from the 118 all around, gathered here at the Christmas/housewarming party at Bobby and Athena’s new house. They all seem so close, like a real family. Tommy doesn’t know this kind of familiarity, not from work, not among friends, not even from his own childhood home. “I’ve never really had this, you know? The last few years at Harbor have been amazing, all my coworkers are great friends, it’s just-” he stops, shakes his head. The alcohol made his tongue a little looser than he’s comfortable with.
“Not really family. Not like the 118 are.” Maddie finishes for him, understanding in her voice.
“Yeah,” he whispers.
“Well, you’re a part of this family now.” Maddie places her hand on his forearm, a soothing gesture. “And once you’re in, there’s no going back, you’re stuck with us now.” He sees her reassuring smile out of the corner of his eye.
“Thank you.” He says, still watching his boyfriend, and feeling his heart swell with love. For Evan, for this amazing family that welcomed him with open arms, for all his old and new friends, for getting this chance. Not only did he get the love of the most amazing man he’s ever met, he got a whole family, too. He never thought this would happen when he answered that phone call from Howie months ago.
Speaking of, Howie shows up next to them, holding up a branch of mistletoe over his head and grinning.
“Hi, can I get a kiss?” He asks.
“Of course, honey-” Maddie starts to answer, but Howie quickly interrupts.
“I meant from Tommy.” His tone is teasing, and Maddie laughs loudly, Tommy joining her. How much did he have to drink? “I’m serious. Come on, Kinard, you’re the only one left.” He smirks, and Tommy glances at Maddie. She just shrugs, chuckling slightly.
“Fine.” Tommy rolls his eyes, but leans down and- and he swears he means to kiss Howie’s cheek. He swears Howie gives him his cheek to kiss. But then he turns his head and their lips meet, for just a split second. Maddie laughs again. Howie’s grinning at him when he pulls away.
And then Evan materializes seemingly out of thin air, as if he crossed the whole room in a split second.
“What’s going on here?” He asks innocently, but suddenly he’s plastered against Tommy’s side. Tommy can’t hide his amusement. Evan is adorable. “Why are you kissing my boyfriend, Chim?”
“Mistletoe.” Howie shrugs, waving the branch. Evan doesn’t look impressed.
“Maddie, your husband is kissing my man.”
“I know, I’m right here.” Maddie laughs. “As long as they don’t fall in love,” she jokes with a shrug. “Or we’re gonna have a real problem, Kinard.” She adds half-seriously, and, well, Tommy’s seen Evan’s jealousy, he knows not to mess with a Buckley.
“I have everything I need right here.” Tommy answers, his arm wrapping around Evan’s waist. “You need a mistletoe kiss, too, baby?”
“Like a hundred.” Evan nods. “To erase the image of you kissing my brother-in-law, ew.” He makes a face, and Howie pretends to be offended.
“Let’s go find mistletoe, then.” Tommy laughs, grabbing Evan’s hand.
As they walk away, he can see Howie finally using his own branch to kiss his wife, and then twirling her to the music, before kissing her again. They’re really an adorable couple.
Evan leads him to the middle of the living room, where a mistletoe hangs on the overhead lamp, and kisses Tommy so deep and hungry his brain short-circuits. They hear whistles and groans and shouts to get a room, and Tommy laughs into Evan’s lips. He’s never had this, either, being able to be so open and public with his relationship, so accepted. Everyone will tease and make fun of them for being so sickeningly in love, and Tommy will adore every second of it.
“I love you.” Evan whispers, eyes sparkling happily. “You’re all mine.” He adds, voice determined, and Tommy can’t help a loud laugh that escapes him. Oh, Evan’s has his own heart.
“I love you, too, Evan.” Tommy sighs. He doesn’t think he’s ever been happier. He’s surrounded by so much love and family and happiness – and he has his whole world right here in his arms. He never thought he’d have anything close to this, and he’ll forever be so grateful he got this. He doesn’t need any gifts this Christmas, he already has everything he needs.
[also on ao3]
#bucktommywinterfest#wikiangela writes#crack ish#christmas fic#bucktommy#bucktommy fic#911 fic#my writing#mistletoe kisses#evan buckley#bucktommy fanfic#tommy kinard#911 fanfic#evan x tommy#buck x tommy#tevan#kinley#read on ao3#dailykinley#fluff#bucktommy fluff#mistletoe#118 firefam#chimney han#maddie han#christmas party
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How much longer do you think we have till chapter 3
I've been wanting to break something like this down all Deltarune-theory-style and this seems like the perfect opportunity! The release of chapter 3&4 also relates directly to this blog, so that's a plus.
In terms of development we're lucky that Toby Fox has been incredibly generous with sharing updates on where the game is, and whats left before launch.
Comparing the information we've been given in the last few newsletters to this timeline in the Summer 2024 newsletter, it's fairly easy to pinpoint where we are and what's left.
Public testing for the LTS update and game_change function has recently been completed!
As per the Autumn 2024 newsletter, the untested English PC version of chapter 4 has also been completed.
Chapter 3 has been translated to Japanese and the PC version has been bug tested.
Chapter 4 has just begun Japanese translation, and PC testing will begin when it is closer to completion (which according to Toby will take "some months" for the final pass of translation to be done)
The last bullet is a pretty accurate mark on where we are in the development. Somewhere on the "Console Ports, Japanese Version, and Other Stuff" part of Toby Fox's List.
We can also use the information from the Summer 2024 newsletter to know what's left on the To-Do list before launch.
Complete Japanese translation and PC bug testing for Chapter 4.
Create and bug test console ports (Nintendo Switch and PlayStation. Xbox is a maybe)*
Final Bug testing
Getting the game reviewed by rating boards.
Preparing soundtrack for release.
Creating marketing material and trailers in preparation for release.
"And more... ?" (I'm assuming this is just referencing the fact game development is unpredictable and anything could slow development, but who knows)
*⬆️It seems that it's not a big deal to make the console port, but instead bug testing will be. It also seems that they've begun work on console porting already, based on the autumn 2024 news letter ⬇️
SO...
Given the fact that we've never waited through all these end-of-development processes for a Toby Fox game it's hard to get an accurate time frame for it all. Although, Toby Fox has said Chapter 3&4 will definitely come out next year and I'm beyond ecstatic. I've yet to answer the question though... When do I think it's coming out?? I think we're getting Deltarune 3&4 around Q3 of 2025. (Q3 is just fancy talk for the months of July, August, and September). The main reason I think this is because Toby has put a "some months" time frame around completing the Japanese translation. PC testing for chapter 4 and Console testing for 3&4 is next, which will hopefully be relatively speedy given the fact they have outsourced a company to assist them. After that is a bunch of legal-console-game business stuff they have to get straight. I'm not predicting the end of next year because of how confident Toby Fox seems in releasing it in 2025, and because of the fact we don't have a trailer I don't think it's releasing in early 2025 either. But with the introduction of the frozen inu in the last newsletter, I think we're getting closer and closer to a real release date!
Toby has also been fond of releasing on special dates. Chapter 1 came out on Halloween of 2018. Chapter 2 was September 17th, 2021, which was the 6th anniversary of Undertale.
September 17th, 2025 will be the 10th anniversary of Undertale, and a date that fits well within the Q3 time frame I've predicted. If I were to put money on any date, it would be this one.
Let me know if any of y'all agree, disagree, or just have any thoughts about this... Or if posts like this are fun to read. Thanks for reading if you made it this far!!
Also... I like your gnarpy pfp
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On a Wing and a Prayer
Part 7 - Well This Is Awkward
CW: Angst, mention's of alcohol, mentions of panic attack's, mental health, mentions of injuries, mentions of death.
Did I mention I like medical dramas?
Previous parts - masterlist - next
Your therapist is nice. You’ve been going to her for the past 3 months, you were only supposed to go for a single session. Then the army insisted on more. Johnny was sent home on medical leave a few days after you left. He came to see you and stayed the night.
The next morning you had to tell him to leave, it just wasn’t the same.
‘I’ll be staying at the house if you want to visit?’
Shit, you forgot about the house. The place you all pitched in to buy, so you all had somewhere to stay when you were on leave. Everyone’s flats are too small to accommodate all 5 of you. Besides, flat hopping everyday across London was expensive.
‘I’ll talk to John when he’s back.’ All you want back is the deposit.
“Do you feel guilty?” She asks you. It snaps you out of your thoughts and you turn to look at her.
“No.” You say, she hums. You hate it when she does that. You don’t know why it is a particularly tough session. You just want to go home. “They hurt me. I don't feel guilty about that.”
“You left the unit though.” Bitch. “It’s okay to feel guilty about that.”
“Okay fine. I feel guilty about leaving Johnny and Kyle.” You snap back. Anything to get her to sign you off so you can go. You look up at the clock, you still have at least 40 minutes left in this season.
“Have you got your letter from the university yet?” She asks changing the subject. You nod. After a few weeks of crying on the bathroom floor and drowning yourself in bottles of vodka you decided to get your shit together.
“That’s good, what's the plan going forward?”
“I’ll be posted on a base somewhere where I can get hands-on experience in trauma care. With studying on the side.” You say without going too much into the complications.
“So the army is actively helping you, that's good.”
“Yeah I think they’re willing to do anything so long as I don’t sue them.” You scoff under your breath. She hums.
You don’t know how true that is, maybe it’s just something you tell yourself so you don’t feel so conflicted over how accommodating they’ve been. They’re paying your uni bills and even got you one some army teaching program aimed to fast track you through the ranks.
“What about Kyle and Johnny? Have you heard from them since you spoke to them last?” Fucking bitch. You sigh, turning away from her. The last time you spoke to them was almost a month ago. They text you from time to time, try to call you.
You’ve ignored them, so much that you feel like anything you say to them will just be meaningless.
“Yeah, they’re deployed.” You lie. She smiles. You look back up at the clock.
30 minutes to go.
______________________
Iraq is hot. That you expected but the hospital’s electricity is sketchy at best. You have to keep the air-con off to make sure the ventilators don’t cut out. The US built this place, you’re only supposed to be here for another week at least before you’ll move again.
As soon as the electric is fixed it will be handed over to the UN to run, until then it was getting a dry run as a combat hospital. Lots of blown off limbs and bullets to pull out people. Lots of death.
You told Johnny and Kyle where you were going when you got your placement. You’re trying to patch things up with them after basically leaving them on read for almost 3 months. Your therapist said it would be a good thing to do.
The sun is setting, you're sitting outside watching as it touches the top of the distant mountains. The place is busy, friendly forces are still pretty much living here. It’s the only safe zone in this part of the desert, why the UN wanted a hospital out here you’ll never know.
Something about re-urbanisation of previously controlled territories. You don’t care, you're here to pull bullets out of people and save lives. Other than your mentor-Dr. Sands-you’re the only other doctor on the base. Doctor is a loose term, you’re technically still a student, but you ace all your skills labs, and the army is begging for help apparently.
You let out a breath, finishing the rest of your drink and getting up and pulling your white lab coat on.
“Well, fancy seeing you ‘ere.” You hear a familiar thick accent behind you. You turn to see Johnny standing behind you.
What the fuck.
You’re hugging him before you can stop yourself. You see Kyle, John and Simon stood behind him. They’re all geared up, weapons slung over their chest or back.
You thought you would feel something when you saw them. Maybe you'd want to run, scream, cry, anything. You feel nothing, just numbness.
“What are you doing here?” You ask.
“Oh you know, Shepherd says jump, we say how high.” he says nudging you, it makes you smile and you shake your head.
“Finally going for the MD?” He asks, pointing at the student doctor tag on your coat.
“Yeah well, you like putting bullets in people. I like pulling them out.”
“Oh yeah not even the occasional love tap?” He jokes, throwing his arm around your shoulders.
“Only the bad guys.” You reply. You look up at Kyle who’s smiling. Then John and Simon.
“You look good.” John says.
“Yeah well that’s what 6 months of therapy will do to you.” It’s bitter, harsher than you expected it to be. It’s the first time you’ve spoken to him in 6 maybe 7 months. He hasn’t changed a bit. He still smiles at you, his body language open, his hands on his hips.
Simon stands with his arms crossed, his presence is looming, making hairs stand up on the back of your neck.
“It’s good to see you again.” Kyle says, you nod at him.
“Oh when we’re back we should catch a bite to eat.” Johnny says enthusiastically, moving away over to Kyle.
“You can tell us what to avoid in the mess.” Kyle adds. You smile again. You go to open your mouth but your pager beeps. You look down at it. It’s the doctor.
“Yeah, when you’re back, come find me.” You say turning into the building.
“Stay safe!” Johnny calls.
“Yeah you too!” You call back pulling your radio off your hip. When you make it through the door you squeeze your eyes closed for a second and let out a long breath.
Now you hate this hospital even more.
______________________
It’s dark out now. You look over at the clock and it's almost midnight. You’re sat at the nurses station listening to them talk about whatever drama is going on in the next base. You still can’t believe you ended up in the same base as 141.
They’ll be gone soon, even Johnny seemed surprised, maybe he thought you’d be gone by now. Now you have to eat with them at some point. Johnny and Kyle at least.
The doctor left an hour ago to go to another base for a surgery. You’re used to this taking the night shifts. Normally you just sleep and get woken up a few times for the nurses to ask for medication changes. You’ve only ever had one trauma come in at night and the doctor was there to help you with the limited night time staff.
You tried to sleep but you couldn’t, you were restless trying to think about what they were doing here? Who were they after? How long would they be here? At least at the nurses station you can listen to the nurses and let their gossip distract you.
The red trauma phone rings. For a second you think it’s a joke, it’s the normal phone. Nope, the red light is flashing on it. You stand up picking it up.
“Trauma.” You say.
“Got one incoming, ETA 15 minutes. GSW to the chest, breathing unconscious. 30 year old male.” You hear an American voice say as you write it down. You don’t have time to worry or be nervous. This is what you live for, you let the adrenaline pump through you. It clears your mind as you take down the information.
“Copy, what’s the name?”
“Riley.” Your heart stops.
“Say again?”
“Riley, Simon Riley.”
It feels like all the air has been sucked out of your lungs. You’re squeezing the phone in your hand, the pen has fallen to the floor. You look over at the nurses already pulling gowns on and getting into position in the resus bay.
You don’t even register saying copy and putting the phone back. You turn away from the nurses braising yourself on a filing cabernet.
Simon’s shot. All you can see is his face, his body covered in blood. He’s always so careful, he’s always the one dragging people out the field not getting shot. Something must have gone horribly wrong.
You weren't there. He’s shot and you weren't there to save him.
You suck in breaths of air, the adrenaline isn’t helping now.
“Doctor?” You hear one of the nurses call. You turn to look at them, you have to keep it together.
“Page the doctor.”
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#call of duty#fanfic#cod#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#john price#ghost cod#kyle gaz garrick#kyle gaz x reader#kyle garrick#kyle gaz x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost x you#simon x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#taskforce 141#poly 141#poly 141 x reader#tf 141 x reader#task force 141#cod 141#john price x reader#captain john price#price x reader#john price x you#johnny soap mctavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish#johnny soap mctavish x you
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you are the only ones who know (prof!a. turner x reader)
smut.
warnings: prof!al x reader, age gap, piv, al kinda dom, sad :(
word count: 679 (short n sweet)
hellooo i'm clearing out drafts / this one's inspired by @goblinontour and stems from convos i've had with @aacheinthejaw / can be considered as a slight continuation of my previous prof!al fic, heavy time skip though
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
three and a half glorious months in complete and total secluded secret. only you and alex knew, and that was your paradise. you guarded that treasure with your mind and soul. you both knew it was taboo, but neither of you could deny that it added to the thrill. from the first day you stepped into his lecture hall, his eyes were on you and you alone. long gone were the women he had been interested in before. it was only you now. forever you.
the way your voice rang out when you called for him. "professor?" you'd ask in the sweetest voice. sugar wishes it was as sweet as you, he'd often think.
your voice stayed just as sweet through these three and a half months.
"alex?"
beads of sweat framed your forehead like a crown. you looked like a princess to him in that moment. if he could forever immortalize the both of you in that moment, he would. he rolls his hips up into yours ever so slightly, pressing a kiss as soft as a feather to your collarbone.
"yeah?"
"is something wrong? did i do something?"
he lifts his head from the nook of your shoulder and looks up into your eyes.
"you could never, even if you tried."
"then what's the matter?"
"just keep goin' for me, yeah? there's absolutely nothing wrong, baby."
just as you were about to object and implore him to share his inner thoughts, he silenced you by slipping his thumb into your mouth. instinctively, your tongue swirls around it, sucking and biting until he pulls it away with a soft pop. before you can even gather the thoughts flowing around your head, his thumb flicks at your clit at a tender pace as your bounces grow faster. he knew you so well.
too well.
he knew you better than he should. and that dug at him, twisted at his innermost soul like a knife.
"al, al, alex, please.." you begged, clutching at his hand. your nails dug into his skin, making him wince. he finally stopped.
"what?"
"i can tell something's wrong." you kiss his collarbone, specifically, you kiss the mark that you left a week ago that seemed like it simply didn't want to leave. "tell me," you kiss higher and higher, along his neck and up to his chin.
"please?" you mutter, so close that your lips brushed his.
he hated making you feel like you did something wrong. he hated himself for it.
the first time he had made you feel this way, well, he could recall it like it happened seconds ago.
you had turned in a paper, a perfectly good one, only a day later than it was expected. and why? you were busy with him. fucking had never felt that blissful before. you arrived at alex's at 3:15 for lunch, cheerful and content, and you left at 7:45 the next day, even happier. however, when he next saw you, it was like everything had changed.
later that day, you wept to him at his flat. your cruel professor had been so harsh, and alex felt so bad. he knew that you thought it was your fault, when he knew it was his.
he began to resent himself, thinking he was ruining your life. he thought he could bury these emotions by spending time with you, but with every passing second in your company, he reached a conclusion.
alex, a man that had lived his youth thoroughly, was completely stealing yours.
he tipped his head back, resting on the headboard. he let out a deep breath, blinking his tears away.
"nothing's wrong, baby," he said with a smile, "don't worry at all."
you stared into his eyes for a quick second, before smiling yourself too.
alex's smile faltered. he knew you so well, so much better than you knew him.
you had ages to figure him out, though. if you stuck around. if you didn't leave him for someone younger, smarter, better.
and with that idea firm in his mind, he spiraled again.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
will see you guys in four months then ig
#alex turner smut#alex turner fanfic#alex turner fic#alex turner x fem!reader#smut#cookie blurbs#cookie cooks#alex turner x you#alex turner x reader#youresodarkbabe#prof al smut
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Why are we (Gale enjoyers) not talking about the fact that during the Shadows of Athkalta one shot the voice cast did, a priestess casts a disguise on Gale so he and Wyll can escape some evil wizards and the disguise turns him into a handsome “Geralt of Rivia” esque tiefling
HELLO?????
#I will be thinking about that for the next 3 business months#this whole thing was so funny but that was very uhhhhhb#not to mention right before that he was lounging in a spa in a fancy silk kimono he hadn’t done up all the way#we were given a gift and not enough people KNOW#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#bg3#baldur's gate 3#mine
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Bro Tails Nine is genuinely such an interesting character, I love him sm. I really want an AU where Sonic takes Nine home with him... Like they talk things out more and Season 3 goes a lot differently. I am NOT okay with the fact they'll never see each other again after Prime's ending.
#because leaving an 8 year old alone in the Grim is foul work#and he clearly wanted to be with Sonic#he just didn't like being treated like he was a replacement/the same person as Tails.#Which is valid!#I have a couple other problems with Season 3's writing too that I would rewrite/address#I might have to write this myself I fear#I'm boutta be super busy within the next month but maybe after that#fun fact I didn't know nine was created for sonic prime. I thought he existed before that for sure#sonic prime#tails nine#sonic the hedgehog#sth#the more I think about nine being alone forever the more I want to write this au...
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*thinks about jayvik* ALEXA PLAY 'MY LOVE MINE ALL MINE' BY MITSKI
#jayvik#arcane#i will be thinking about them for the next three (3) business months#NOTHING IN THE WORLD BELONGS TO ME BUT MY LOVE MINE ALL MINE#txt
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uhh. i accidentally made another comic. future au strikes back
(pt 1/3)
a question - 1 2 3
#since this is 3 parts i’ve queued the rest for tomorrow and the day after ^^#apparently i havent really talked about this here in spite of how much ive been thinking about it for months but my mk is demiromantic#ive been a little nervous to talk about it because it’s kind of a whole thing but i hope someone likes it#other than me i mean lol#my friend told me this might be their favorite comic ive done so far tho so im pretty satisfied#even if some of the art bugs me…and my handwriting is awful (sorry guys i was sleep deprived)#anyway i like to think bandee knows everybody’s business just as a side effect of leading the waddle dee corps#waddles love to gossip after all lol it’s how they socialize…even if they try to discourage it ^^’#kirbyposting#my art or something#meta knight#bandee#bandana waddle dee#metadede#headcanons#metadad#quinn does comics#i dont really have any interest in doing a next gen thing so it’s more like a#semi future au#lol
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Late Night quick thing (New Age Sillies)
Bad news: That joke post about including Reset + Orchid is definitely not canon. (I legit got sad thinking about Reset being in a universe where Orchid isn't- because their stories are so so intertwined- but Nightmare 100% would NOT risk the whole twins exploding Error's soul thing.)
Good news: This means I COULD include Kane (Reset's older brother who usually dies in timelines where Reset is born) and use it to develope his character a bit more! Also! Perhaps a Blue × Dream kiddo is finally in the stars for me to design?
#new age au#really enjoying the idea of Reaper + Geno having an heir at some point (and them sending that heir over to Night's kingdom for#exposure to other places as well as to hang with his third cool knight dad who's hard at work 🙏)#Kane has little to no development besides being a perfect angel (foil to Reset's eventual turn to poor choices) so I'd love to do#to him what I do to every oc of mine. (Namely: Throw them into the Kingdom and see what they do.)#oh! and I could see Blue and Dream (beloved boys) listening to the warnings of possible complications if they try to have a lil babybones#and Dream deciding he'd take the risk and carry the growing soul#(<- though tbf this is MANY years into the future and they'd be well established knights of the realm)#i'm not evil so they *would* manage to avoid the twins curse and have a singular beautiful babybones#they'd get raised partially on the move but stay behind with Night and Error if the two had a more dangerous mission#and grow up to be an obnoxiously powerful warrior following after their dads#(but they'd probably be hesitant to follow into the footsteps of being a knight and might go on a quest with friends before choosing a#final path for themselves)#<- Most spoiled rotten kid ever. courtesy of Nightmare and Error and all their extended family <3#oh last note. Ancha has me cracking up w/ ideas for Cross potentially meeting someone and I was beamed w/ an old ship request post I saw and#I think it'd be funny to include Lust in here somehow... (probably call him smth else as a nickname but y'know-)#like. He works in the city around the castle as some sort of... idk tailor? and he's been making things for Nightmare for years without#knowing because Ccino always was discreet about the orders and providing measurements + always tipped well so it was none of his business#but one day it's like. before a big announcement ceremony or smth and Ccino drags Cross in by the scruff because no one can get him to get#clothes that actually fit aside from armor (hc he steals the others clothes a lot and wears 1 shirt until it's threadbare)#so Ccino makes him go to Lust and Lust is able to get him fitted for sone new outfits because. well. Lust doesn't do much but he's very very#handsome and Cross is super easily flustered and shy around new people and he's awkward and aughhh.#and then he thinks about the interaction for the next month before deciding he's going to ask Ccino to go back there again.#and Lust likes dressing Cross up in new outfits (everyone thinks it's great Cross is loosening up and meeting new friends cuz Lust introduce#s him to people in town) and it takes forever for Cross to get over his worries and ask Lust out to a ride on his horse (romantic. of course#) and Lust agrees because he's charmed.#and the best part would be Cross *actually* manages to keep it a secret. like. no one finds out until one morning Killer bursts into Cross'#room to wake him for surprise training and it's Cross. the weird Dog. and- holy shit did Cross have someone over???#Cross pulls the cool ones frfr 🙏#it's just a casual thing between them with little plot relevance or drama I think. just a chill lil relationship 🙏
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i genuinely love being busy and then taking opportunities to make yourself busier not because you feel obligated to do things but because you enjoy being busy
#work today then hazbin hotel watch party#then babysitting tomorrow afternoon then modeling that night#then dnd at 6am the next morning#OH SHIT I NEED TO ASK ABOUT THE PARTY AFTER THAT#need to ask my MOM because I can't DRIVE 🤬🤬🤬#anyway idk if this is a dopamine thing but busy is fun#could this be adhd???#who knows#i will soon#in 3-4 months i think#average boog post
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Giant personal vent time
This guy stole somewhere between 3 to 6 MILLION dollars from my grandmother by conning my great aunt into signing over her estate and medical & financial power of attorney to him literally on her death bed
I and my aunt have been working basically a whole second job the last 3 months trying to get together a legal case to go after this guy. And now my grandma wants to drop it. And no one else has standing so what the fuck can we do.
This man has absolutely done this to other ppl before, there is no doubt in my mind. I’ve seen his property records for just what’s publicly available in my county and it’s sketchy as hell. I am never going to get over this but there’s nothing I can do.
Gonna put like a million more thoughts in the tags because I’m losing my fucking mind.
#it’s not like we don’t have the money#the estimated legal fees are like $100k but we’d definitely get it back from the estate in the end#but grandma doesn’t want to look like she’s going after her sister’s money#and she won’t admit she has dementia so I’m not allowed to tell the lawyer that she can’t handle testifying#so he just thinks we’re being wishy washy#and my aunt is so conflict avoidant she won’t tell the lawyer anything that’s happening that he could absolutely be helping with#and my dumbass step cousin is so conflict avoidant he’d literally rather let the family business go bankrupt than actually deal with this#why the fuck did she make him ceo#I know why she trusted this guy but jfc whyyyy did she trust him#god if only I had a time machine I’d go back 6 months and make sure we kicked him out of her house#I really really didn’t think he’d go this far. I just thought he was a weird dude she was being too nice to#but no. actual con artist#the more we learn the worse it gets#and grandma just cannot handle it. even though she has the money!! I’m so mad#I wanna email every reporter I can think of until I find someone willing to publish an article about this guy#so that at least that way someone would see how fucking sketchy he is when they Google him#so that maybe the next person won’t fall for it#is there some kind of legal action you can take that’s basically just like#hey we’re not willing to spend years to prove that you’re evil#but just for the record we need everyone to know you suck and we hate you#like just so ppl know#maybe I should ask our pastor to send out a PSA to all the other little old ladies at church#since that’s how my great aunt met him in the first place#I could get at least 3 good books out of all the drama in my fucking family I think#one for this whole thing. one for my dad’s insane parents. and one for all the bad decisions I made in Seattle
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.
#i just need to make it 48 more days i just need to make it 48 more days i just need to make it 48 more days#clutching the sink knuckles white and repeating it into the mirror like affirmations#istg im running out of momentum and patience and willpower like what exactly am i even supposed to do here#i miss feeling like home and i miss being loved and i miss having people care about me like. man this sucks.#i keep trying to focus on the fact that at least i have the scenery and the peace that i wanted but mannnnn. what the hell#this has been building up for so long and esp the last couple months and im trying sooo hard to hold back a relapse im telling myself like#ok just make it 5 more days bc then the number on the day counter looks prettier <3 ok now just make it another 5 days <3 !#and another 5 days <3 okay maybe just one more day you can do one more day <3#and its not like i want it to happen obviously but at this point i think its naive to pretend like it wont bc ooohhh boy if i dont#manage the jump into the next manic episode and crash instead like. at this point ive bottled it up for so long i know its gonna be#a bad one#if i just time myself right and fuck myself up a little i can make these episodes last until concert week and then thats gonna give me a#good enough boost to last me another month and then its gonna be spring and that can carry me and then its gonna be summer and ill be#extra busy w tourist season and after that maybe this will either fix itself or ill be in a better position to at least#catch myself if i crash#idk man.#doing bad teehee#the torment is relentless and the horrors never cease but you gotta keep on slayin 💅🏼✨️✨️ so thats what ill do 💅🏼✨️✨️✨️✨️
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is having a friend crush more embarrassing than having a real crush. maybe
#and like i say: brf slt#like oh i am so excited that we 'sat next to each other at lunch again and had yet another great conversation with my bff' AAAAAH#it's crazy because i'm normal kind of but can also feel myself being obnoxious. I'M JUST EXCITED#the only thing that's gonna get me to calm down is us becoming even better friends than we are now...and it's like idk we're friends#now but the way people call people i wouldn't use the word friend in relation to their friend in english. we're very casual friends. but we#did get a drink just me that person and my bff the other day so like we do hang out...anyway...#we went to the movies last week and we're going again next week and we're gonna get dinner together and everything so😁#and we've been planning a party like the three of us it's very funny at this point i'm convinced it's never gonna happen it was supposed to#at my bff's before break like in october. didn't happen. then last week we said like the three of us that next friday (the 22nd) was a good#day for all of us (all 3 of us) and then (we were literally 3 when we made the plans) that person was like hm actually i can't❤️ and now#it's not supposed to be at my bff's place anymore it's supposed to be at this person's place and we said december 12th like a month from#now😭 it's funny because. it's a RACLETTE PARTY and i'm supposed to bring the machine that's why i said the 3 of us it was her idea and it's#my machine and just. anyway. i actually have faith this time it's a month from now i don't think people are gonna be busy a month from now#they'll be free!#anyway. friend crush AAAAAAH#i love saying my bff i'll always call her that she's my best new friend we've known each other for two months now she's ACTUALLY the only#person i would consider my actual friend. and the person i'm talking about is my second favorite person in the group of people we're#hanging out with like guyyyys. idk. second bff by the end of the year. school year i'm not that ambitious i can be patient#group of people we're hanging out with: 13 people it's just everyone getting this same degree i said this last time so like we get along#but obviously i don't have great conversations with everyone#anyway. i'm not attracted to this person btw like i've looked at them through that lens and i was like no i don't even really like the#face...not a nice thing to say about my future best friend but like. they're very cool and i'm not into them. which is nice!
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There's also the impulse to be like "women ain't shit" but that's a lie I love our women. Not women as a whole's fault that one of them turned out a selfish bastard of a coward.
I just need to find a woman who doesn't treat me like That. Get me a good butch. I need me a good butch.
#speculation nation#id love a good butch who can pick me up and help move my furniture#and who is so sweet and treats me like im someone valuable (& not immediately replaceable ...)#the bar is actually so low. god why do i keep ending up dating assholes?#ex before this ex wasnt an asshole. i was the asshole in that situation.#but that's where the whole. wanting to find someone right for me comes in.#god 'ex' really is such a vague term for me. i got bad ex goth ex uhh other good ex but still sucked#nothingburger exes 1 2 3 4#and the gay awakening ex who i really shouldve given more attention to but unfortunately i was a stupid 16 year old#and broke up with her for my bad ex. alas.#and then theres milquetoast ex and uhmmm. well i actually dont know what im going to label my most recent one.#i dont think it's fully sunk in yet what happened. bc it really was so sudden.#i last saw her on thursday and everything was normal and nice. just like pretty much the whole of the 6 months with her.#and then she started hanging out with the coworker i guess. and the rest is history.#i think she lied about being busy spending time with friends to excuse why she was so distracted on the weekend.#she was probably busy spending time with that girl. who she apparently feels like shes suffocating if shes not in the same room as her#it does suck in a lot of ways. but also with her friends. i was trying rly hard to spend time with them and be liked by them.#one of them's moving into my building this next year. across from my unit. so i wonder how thats gonna go.#my ex mentioned how she'd be spending twice as much time here then just last saturday.#and now. well. like fuck she's coming in here anymore. but i wonder if i'll see her going to visit her friend.#id been kind of excited for it. looking forward to spending time with a neighbor too. but probably not anymore.#i do wonder what her friends will think. i hope she tells them the truth and they chew her out for being such an asshole.#literally breaking up with me over text. who fucking does that??? she didnt have the guts to hear me cry???#i'll make sure she sees the full force of my displeasure when she drops my gifts off tomorrow.#she used to like how rough around the edges i am. well she's gonna see just how rough around the edges i Really am.#i kind of. dont really want to see her. but i also do. i want her to look me in the face and talk to me#to see who it is she's dropping. to see how it has affected me. even if she didnt see my heartbreak as it happened.#i laid into her Hard so she knew just how badly she hurt me. so that she would feel even a fraction of my hurt.#so she would feel Guilty. she apologized over and over. said she knew she'd regret it. but she just Had to do it.#'this will be my life's regret' then why'd you do it? fucking impulsive dumbass. what bullshit.
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ignore this post i’m just whining again
#i HATE being new with a passion like it is one of the most uncomfortable situations for me to be in#i had extreme social anxiety as a kid (still do i’ve just learned how to manage it better) that had a huge impact on me in school#i switched schools 3 times between the ages of 5 and 10 and tbh i made friends pretty quickly every time#but i was still so indescribably anxious every time bc i just hated being the new kid so much#and i thought that was all behind me bc at the time it was bc i didn’t know anyone and everyone else already had friends#but as i’ve gotten older that same feeling has come back and this time it’s when i’m starting at a new job instead of a new school#i started working when i was 16 and for the first month or two i was so stressed and uncomfortable all the time#and i thought it was normal bc it was my first job ever#which was reinforced when i was 19 and got another job and the adjustment period was a million times better#but i started working there 2 weeks after the business opened so literally everyone was new not just me#and now i’m realizing that was probably the only reason i settled in so easily#bc now i’ve started another job and i’m right back to feeling incredibly anxious whenever i’m there and it’s driving me crazy#like everything’s been super easy so far and it’s the exact same type of work i was doing before so i already know what i’m doing#and everyone i’ve met has been nice and chill but i’m still so uncomfortable#like every time i talk to my coworkers i’m just thinking ‘oh my god this is so awkward’ the whole time and i can’t stop#and i just feel so out of place and it sucks bc i was so excited about this job and rn i just feel so anxious every time i go to work#and the worst part is i felt the same way when i was new at my first job and (to a lesser extent) my second job#so logically i know it’s just bc it’s my first week and it takes time to adjust and it’ll be fine eventually#but knowing that doesn’t make the feeling go away or help me deal with it#like what can i do besides just accepting that work is going to suck for the next month??#the whole thing is just kind of making me spiral bc i desperately needed a new job and this is literally the only one i wanted#but at the same time i’m still so upset about getting laid off from my last job even though it’s been 3 months#and the more anxious i feel at this new job the more i miss my old job#and i cannot allow myself to fall back into the headspace i was in for all of march after losing that job#maybe this is irrational bc it was just a job but the layoff genuinely sent me into one of the worst depressive episodes of my life#so idk i guess i was just really hoping i would love this job right away so i could finally see a bright side to getting laid off#and i mean i don’t have any complaints about the job so far but my anxiety is just making me so unhappy anyway#and i just miss my old job so much and i think about it nonstop and i really fucking hate being new and idk what else to say or do#vent#lj.txt
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