#I wil cry a million years

[riceisgood123]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE!!! KLANCE ARE IN LOVE IN EVERY UNIVERSE ❤️💙

[carruechedaily]

I have been crying laughing reading comments these last few days. People really think Puff is stupid, all those 7 kids are set for life!!!!! They are good with trust funds in mega millions and I’m sure he added more to it knowing all this shit was bout to go down. So all that they wil need to get real jobs now, no you typing will need to go get a job these kids right here are set.

Like this is Puff who has been around for decades making more and more money way each year and there think his kids are now broke because his going to jail. These kids are good

The company that makes ciroq and Deleon said they paid him a billion dollars through the course of their relationship so there’s no way he blew through all of that, they are definitely set for life

[libidomechanica]

Untitled (“Returning appeard in vain”)

A tanka sequence

               Stanza the First

It had thus died in Order all. That spot of highest with snow. Returning appear’d in vain. But uncertain I have mark too far.

               Stanza the Second

I forgive; obliged to bless, or what the loads and Chartres. My father’s service; who sang when I shallowed, wins, thou, Abelard!

               Stanza the Third

The small ornament of June? Ere wil on hire broom in Mrs. Love is, and like our may be, myself to pleasure, for soon awake!

               Stanza the Fourth

They looks which Claus of Ida station of his lov’d Eloisa see! To thine sake longing the untrodden ways beside it, and make.

               Stanza the Fifth

With her decease. Thou art thou thus he couldn’t be kind as if to stranger flights as he put less; i’m so entangl’d and grows. Meant, its sting.

               Stanza the Sixth

Her had said, What would have seen, with solemn day, into each the melancholy silence! Beauties colder man wants weighed, father side.

               Stanza the Seventh

Sweets shall grass; shapeless loud, above the holy perfumes of her brains by the sworder, I will soothed. That laughter’s neck, do witness walls.

               Stanza the Eighth

Luckless, tuneless than though the man had first it seems to deplore, since which without death’s wounds might had fail’d a strange arose in vain.

               Stanza the Ninth

I point at the led! Them appear’d a thing, this couple, for it. Yet has a’ to boot, and a Jael, with him without death. What minute.

               Stanza the Tenth

Forget the third sex. By a shuffle your taste eternal bound his corporal pangs bearded lords its stubborn pulse, or zeal, love and ill.

               Stanza the Eleventh

A vein had warned nature she like thus bepearl’d with dew? In the wind was strange girl: and each endeavour, that I could make Lovers ill?

               Stanza the Twelfth

Had it liv’d long years. At least shall romantic rose, girt on her, a goodness flame Majnún, and severs a factitious sun began.

               Stanza the Thirteenth

The gear the fault lie? Once be so beings to the herdsmen cry; for none for thee; he’d looking And modesty she wounded.

               Stanza the Fourteenth

Not quite regarded: they leaven above thy fair! Fair as greatnesse, eternal beau. Now pillow, the trumpet black-eyed rival came.

               Stanza the Fifteenth

Is in leave to expiate subdued, this mother, it were affair were so serene creation go and say, Just things friend! Oh God!

               Stanza the Sixteenth

Young troop, however, resistinguish in language feeling my days of wit. On all my joy, beside, and brawl their sin. Dazed me dead.

               Stanza the Seventeenth

Beauty of the bee- mouth when young with all-eloquent recital was it make a wintry window my bride of thee, fa la la.

               Stanza the Eighteenth

Man of matter; we share, let wealth is dearly. Yea, ’ answer’d themselves a scouts with my will he was, indeed, in a passionate one.

               Stanza the Nineteenth

You, unmov’d, oh Thou who around, and gritty as singing soul I rather, burn into the near to the landlord. They look for me?

               Stanza the Twentieth

Flagged, and find to grow; but to the old inn-yard a holy silence pursue, still show the Interpreted my old vizier might bear.

               Stanza the Twenty-first

We plan foursquare to opposition. At which with fancy was dropping grace was but passion, and delight, and then suddenly tune?

               Stanza the Twenty-second

Phantom of life, or say within his art my arms; and I grow as these were idle Joan. Nothing outward th’ effect a name?

               Stanza the Twenty-third

And Thou; if I—this Dignity and Who? Your love a sister: for dowry with yesternight listened to wreak vengeance on his legs.

               Stanza the Twenty-fourth

Is my lap, the tend, listen’d while the lobes of the way yet, pale drug that we least. Not into the kiss’d her dear object from the cup.

               Stanza the Twenty-fifth

And transport, can be sweet and great voice that time it or fall, himself. Millions of eternity. Long enough and braveries, Joy!

               Stanza the Twenty-sixth

Shine, with my days and splits, and thence that shines, and, staggering age with me did I could the boon of Thyself I see a former fair.

               Stanza the Twenty-seventh

Falls as well by the stars of well-known shame. Last, being! While prostrate him then, their lee—another makes us most—and in the tree?

               Stanza the Twenty-eighth

Here I go, where is tongue can rival came. That rights, when Damon, whose no more meet. But even asleepers wake, that large pedigree!

               Stanza the Twenty-ninth

When the tenor’s wife, and by all the whistled to drink delicacy— stoops at our name strangled her into this dearly? A foe.

               Stanza the Thirtieth

But, they grope among your cold and mould’ring Jack and Favour at his joy? Your face was not in my eyes. He is a break with a life?

               Stanza the Thirty-first

And cried, whose dreams, all around, from want of the other, Thither cares itself. There is tongue as to another speak but loves me dead.

               Stanza the Thirty-second

How is it unders! Not, joy and hustled a thought, and save. Subtracting at hers, then look I deaths do the highway, and truth: no place.

               Stanza the Thirty-third

Sunk on rank; he gave no saints, by whose? And eat, good and severe, you think of his to slaye with crowne main. With flutters, because enough.

               Stanza the Thirty-fourth

And is my heart in thy grace, who long, go back, Elsa holds out half-shroud; the old inn-door. Then thanked men— good! Morning, broke the falling.

               Stanza the Thirty-fifth

And that, as thou thyself self-Lost, and jealous Frenzy caught winds, but for the dawn, late dictator of shiver to be chain’d, and Who?

               Stanza the Thirty-sixth

—Look whence of one for all the sun, looping to ease my eye-ball, no bar, onward, too command of Miss Macready. Lest, like those dear.

               Stanza the Thirty-seventh

Which is hath that I could not said, But, they’re over dear! Compliments late dictator of strife; but if it shall hurt to gives; and wept.

               Stanza the Thirty-eighth

But one, including eye, out of the Cheek of Laila smite doesn’t true; too long. Before my bruises and under than other, burning.

               Stanza the Thirty-ninth

The vessel bound a moment, with me at once; their gates, nor thee. The clover have accused me dead. Was intended, or King: alas!

               Stanza the Fortieth

Among the time when it goes out of whom? Each more and analys’d your hands in single Rose, then look up the sweet my father nose.

               Stanza the Forty-first

I in all the hope and gladding branches of chose, and cried. The heart, be those who hold. Time upon the rest of peace, leaving a state!

               Stanza the Forty-second

And mine—where I must leave torturer’s. Sweet in a cage, puts all the sun of all Created moment of the damp hair land, a hearts.

               Stanza the Forty-third

Of this queen. Yet mark clean, the frosty Caucasus; ’ but at this his either hair were longer envy them, thus bepearl’d with she sky.

               Stanza the Forty-fourth

All days and Conscience to meet the plough came sad assur’d, since mind discern but Thee to go yet remain; the pale instead. I would be.

               Stanza the Forty-fifth

So yellow leaf, ’ and keep you see, through seal’d eye scandal hit. And ne’er could not just not less loud alarmed her for it was fortunate.

               Stanza the Forty-sixth

And every little more white; thou are all mankind! Whose for a moment at once tis night, or thrice fortune’s Frolics left me falling.

               Stanza the Forty-seventh

When Night; that none appears impart, resign, asks no firm believe me, and every singing cold for breasts. Ah who cannot yet be chaste.

               Stanza the Forty-eighth

Pursue, still my joy and give it leave, for it. Sometime after the sky! Except mere up to the trod, as her with heavy poem.

               Stanza the Forty-ninth

To bear and unobserves the wine. Upon the gained instead of dynamite and bravest me thy Grace he gave sense, good for thee.

               Stanza the Fiftieth

From peer or law, but we within the kind when what was still a rout of joint of still with his word? Sounding and those what fall, and there.

               Stanza the Fifty-first

From lips mute, like small bird stiffens in the heights, wax’d full of burning lid of you? Her added, no doubt a miser and up, the Land.

               Stanza the Fifty-second

Where then do you on its face boil’d up, she took than a bairn, she’s the place. The orbs between therefore than did they could master of dark.

               Stanza the Fifty-third

Would Chloe. Without sight obliged to me ’twould called Miriam and right mickle ado, that, yet purse of twins may he shows the dead.

               Stanza the Fifty-fourth

We entered in them through tame. Of her olive, those bodies she raves! We cannot prevent: then Lambro once from out they do, and die.

               Stanza the Fifty-fifth

So like mounts be got by any art: this we known but there’s no other watchful servant some to it. If cause I am fed.

               Stanza the Fifty-sixth

Then turn’d to see till I die. And glory, for your Feet like those Two Love? No crime, burning from its knot into the beat sleeps, and breaks.

               Stanza the Fifty-seventh

Had sung of the dead. At another the midnight, thou who are your hall, of low-though not till I Is always signs without sight.

               Stanza the Fifty-eighth

For since what a curse. Nor time, they do but spend my lord, not by men. Your touch’d me life—immortal love were she crime remove, and breath!

               Stanza the Fifty-ninth

When the light, her poniard, had opposition. Would not far away the desecrate! Than I shall together drinking told the bed.

               Stanza the Sixtieth

Hay, but will bury myself am shent where I knew my first ye were bountee telltale cheek, in love inspir’d! And on thy assistance?

               Stanza the Sixty-first

He was marble show me there, the earliest lips it peace sitting on the brave, and I, its sting. The yellow far to have this yearn.

               Stanza the Sixty-second

Spirit—not a sigh. Up with that of all hope; to love; if ever heart has false and fading The soil’d: thus doth patience none.

               Stanza the Sixty-third

From the same for whom I must answer as sweets of the Pumpkin why on You? Back, he stone; until it will be poor dreams in x-ray.

               Stanza the Sixty-fourth

Some future the death. People, and weep the Hand of Miss Macready. Learn if Ida yet wouldn’t be history. The morn of molten blue.

               Stanza the Sixty-fifth

Or say what else could be waiting above that moments and feye falling, and, if it gives have you surety for you, all his joy?

               Stanza the Sixty-sixth

Desiring that I bleedingly unpleasant: a gentle, but vainly set her gloom! Tis all her answered, to musick lendeth.

               Stanza the Sixty-seventh

For now with wonder nurse her grief, and again. Me should be beloved, the rusty nails all the ages, take this thrice had not do.

[lemonyellowlogic]

when i first started playing dnd, i was somewhat serious about it, very careful of what i did, and refused to not speak over people when they were off-topic, but now i just loudly announce that since my character has nothing to do while she waits for her best friend to come back in town she’s just gonna fucking rail the hot tiefling from the inn and i am having so much more fun.

[aemiron-main]

thinking about will coming out to El as gay + she’s supportive but more in a neutral “I’m happy for you but I don’t really understand homophobia so I just treat it as if you’ve told me a fact about yourself,” way + Will’s a bit confused that while she seems happy for him, she also doesn’t treat it as some sort of big deal. Which he appreciates, don’t get him wrong, but it also confuses him a bit.

but then, one day, will tells El that he’s in love, and all of a sudden her whole demeanour changes, she’s partially staring at Him full of familial love, because she’s never wanted anything but happiness for her brother. because Will being in love is the big thing for her to celebrate the way one would usually positively react to a coming-out. but she’s also afraid for him, because she thought she was romantically in love with Mike but she wasn’t, or isn’t anymore at least. and she doesn’t want Will to have to sift through a pile of letters signed with “from,” at the end.

but then will tells her that it’s Mike he’s in love with. and he’s crying and choking out an apology as he says it, even though El and Mike are mutually and happily broken up. he treats his love as if it is something wrong and selfish, and it breaks el’s heart for a moment. and El is worried, worried because again she doesn’t want Will to get letters signed “from Mike”.

but then, past that, past Will’s apologies and her worry for him, it all clicks for El- it doesn’t just click that of course Will is in love with Mike. It clicks that that’s what love is. And hilariously, she realizes, that Mike is the one person who would never in a million years sign his letters to Wil with “from, Mike.” Her perception of romantic love that she’s gained from television and moves is gone, replaced by every memory she has of Mike and Will together, a frantic Mike desperate to find Will in s1, of every time they traded glances and seemed to read eachother’s minds, of how mike’s voice is always softer with Will, of a painting that she did not commission, of Mike telling her about words she didn’t speak, of words that were Will’s feelings in the van, of the way that Will loves Mike so much that he would cause himself such deep pain simply to try and make Mike happy because he thought Mike was happy with El.

And again she realizes that’s what love is (in romantic terms because I’m sure she’s well aware of platonic love at this point). And so, she isn’t afraid for Will anymore. She isn’t afraid for him getting his heart broken, because she not only sees the selflessness and devotion of Will’s love, but also of Mike’s.

She thinks of every moment she’s ever seen between the two of them, of all the times Dustin and Lucas told her about how inseparable will and Mike were growing up. and she knows that she doesn’t have to fear Will being in love because he’s been in love since before she knew him; she’s only ever known him when he’s in love, and she’s seen how that love has strengthened him, has seen how even though that love has hurt him, it’s also been what’s saved him. even though his love has made him feel like he’s a mistake, it’s also made him feel like he’s not a mistake- his love for Mike makes him feel like a mistake but mike’s love for him makes Will feel like he isn’t a mistake.

[archived-kin]

simeon with a himbo boyfriend

note from kin: once again i am writing for the boys because this fandom doesn’t have nearly enough content for them, especially for Big and Beefy Men. let them be in dating sim fandoms too!!!!!! give them more content!!!!!

anyway i’ve made you an angel since i don’t want to have to think about the deeper repercussions of what simeon dating a human would be (i mean we all know what happened to lilith when she tried it)

fandom: obey me!

character(s): male!reader, simeon, luke, belphegor, beelzebub, asmodeus, satan, leviathan, mammon, lucifer, barbatos, diavolo, solomon

pairing(s): simeon/reader but it accidentally becomes everyone/simeon’s boyfriend at some point whoops (this ended up as a pretty big block of text as a result so please let me know if you have difficulty reading it so that i can try to format it better!)

warning(s): nope!

genre: fluff!!!! fluff everywhere!!!!!!!!!

simeon thinks you’re the cutest goddamn thing in all three realms

you may be six foot four inches of muscle but to him that is six foot four inches of ADORABLE

you’re very strong so he likes to just run and jump up at you from behind and wrap his arms around your neck because he knows you won’t be fazed by it (physically anyways, emotionally is another story)

the other angels always gasp when he does this in public because it’s so far from his usual ‘poised and elegant’ thing but how is simeon NOT supposed to climb all over you like a koala when you’re so big and huggable???

simeon just really loves jumping at you like that okay

because every time he does you’ll just pause for a second and look very confused as to why your back has suddenly gotten heavier, and then you’ll turn your head, and your smile and excited little ‘simeon!!’ is to DIE for

he has to be incredibly upfront with you about what he wants because otherwise you will not understand

he has to say, word for word, “i want to sleep in the same bed as you every day” before you actually realise that that’s what he meant

the whole exchange kind of went like this:

simeon, being sappy at like seven in the morning: “i want to wake up like this all the time from now on”

you: “??? do you want me to come lie down next to you before you wake up tomorrow morning?”

simeon: “no, for the whole night”

you: “you want to wake up like this for the whole night??”

simeon: [sighs]

he also often has to be the one taking charge when it comes to physical affection  

like you’re always willing to give him hugs and carry him around and let him sleep sprawled out on your chest like a starfish and give him kisses but half the time simeon has to ask you because for some reason you just won’t do it on your own???

at one point simeon starts getting a little insecure that you don’t actually really like physical affection and are just going along with it for him

because he’s a sensible angel, he brings this up with you before jumping to conclusions

he was not prepared for you to reply that you always wait for him to confirm that he wants affection because you’re afraid that you’ll accidentally hurt him with your strength if you go for it by yourself

simeon doesn’t cry a lot but dear god did he come close that day

after that it’s just hand holding and hugs and forehead kisses galore from you and simeon couldn’t be happier

now, it’s time for a bit of backstory

you were created purely to fight during the big celestial war, which is why you are so Beefy and Stupid

the beefy is because they needed you to be both strong and intimidating, while the stupid is because they didn’t create you with anything but fist fighting in mind

during the war you were a force to be reckoned with because you could just run at and headbutt a demon and they’d immediately be flung straight out of the skies and back into the devildom

and, even better, this meant that you didn’t have to kill anyone! you could just punt them so hard that they’d be flung out of the realm where the battle’s taking place entirely

once the war was over though they didn’t really know what to do with you

you were basically just this giant baby who didn’t know how to do anything but war

so they just dumped you in a garden and told you to take care of the flowers

which was how simeon originally met you! he was taking a walk around the gardens and saw you crying over a tree that you accidentally snapped in half with your big clumsy hands

now, simeon wasn’t one to believe in love at first sight, but HOLY FUCK

if he hadn’t already been an angel in the celestial realm he’d have thought you were some divine being from the heavens

anyway long story short simeon consoled you and started helping you take care of the garden, taught you how to live a life in times of peace, spent entire nights just lying awake and thinking about your smile and your laugh and how warm your hands look to hold and how it would feel to hug you, and finally managed to confess to you without you misconstruing it as just a Friendly Act of Kindness, and now you two are the proud holders of the title Cutest Couple in The Universe

granted only asmo calls you two that but you’ll take it

speaking of asmo allow me to segue this to the rad exchange programme era

you get so sad when simeon tells you he’ll have to leave for a year

your face falls when he breaks the news and your voice is all lost and quiet when you ask, ‘does that mean i can’t see you?’

simeon is absolutely devastated

it’s like a thousand puppies and kittens are being murdered right in front of him

he nearly cries (when i say nearly i mean he does)

but he can’t back out of the exchange program now, and one year isn’t THAT much for beings that live for possibly forever, so in the end, giving you a giant hug and about a million kisses to make up for the ones you’ll miss over the coming year, simeon leaves for the devildom

he makes it about a month and a half without you before he starts getting all mopey

and you’re not doing much better up in the celestial realm

michael actually has to message simeon and ask him how to deal with you because you spend every day dejectedly shuffling around the gardens that you take care of and it’s making everyone sad just looking at you

simeon reads that message and immediately decides that either he’s going back to the celestial realm or you’re coming down to the devildom

the authorities are a little cautious about it because you’re one of the purest angels they have and they really don’t want you getting corrupted by demons

but simeon assures them that the few demons that you’ll actually be having contact with wouldn’t do that, and you’ll be under both his and lord diavolo’s protection

so you end up being allowed to join simeon in the devildom for his exchange year!!!

honestly with the way the two of you react when you see each other again you’d think you hadn’t seen each other in years

simeon runs up to you and jumps straight into your arms and you spin him around in a big hug and ahhhhhhhh it’s like a teen romance movie but with an actually compelling relationship

and so you move into his bedroom (because of course you’re still going to share one down here) and take up a temporary position as a gardener to take up time since you can’t really do school

pros: simeon now gets to see you every day again and you look very cute bustling around the devildom’s fancy gardens with a watering can and wheelbarrow. also he gets to watch you lift an entire shed and it’s the best thing he’s ever seen

cons: the others are all basically in love with you now as well

simeon’s torn between ‘why wouldn’t they be, he’s literally the most perfect being ever’ and ‘what the fuck, that’s MY boyfriend’

belphie likes you because you are similar to beel and you’re also warm and big and strong so he can take naps on you and you won’t be bothered in the slightest

one day simeon sees belphie just jump onto your back and start sleeping there while you’re crouched in the garden doing some weeding and he’s so stunned by the sheer audacity that he forgets to be mad about it

honestly you don’t really notice that belphie is sleeping on you until you go to get up and feel something move on your back

and then, being the dumb precious idiot you are, you just lie face first there on the lawn so that he can carry on sleeping without being disturbed

consequence: simeon nearly cries at your sweetness but is also incredibly jealous and belphie is now having Feelings that he didn’t sign up for

beel meanwhile isn’t sure how to feel about you at first because he kind of feels like you’re stealing his twin all the time, but then you make him your special candied fruits (from produce that you grew yourself) and he loves you from that point forward

also PLEASE share your workout routine with him he wants to know your secret

it turns out that you don’t really have a workout routine?? you were just made like that

though the constant exercise and heavy lifting and stuff you do as part of your daily garden-care routine (you take care of basically all of the gardens back in the celestial realm) helps as well

he’s a bit disappointed but he does like that you can pick him up without any effort

one time he asked if you were capable of it and without missing a beat you went ‘let’s find out!’ and straight up swept him off his feet

beel was fucking screaming on the inside but no can’t feel feelings that’s simeon’s boyfriend

meanwhile asmo… okay we all know the way asmo is

boy took one look at you and immediately started drooling (figuratively anyway. physically his jaw just dropped)

kudos to him though, he backs off with the flirting as soon as simeon informs everyone that you’re his partner

asmo may be the avatar of lust but he is no home wrecker (he still finds an excuse to hug you every time he sees you though because awooga, muscles)

(he does know his boundaries so simeon doesn’t mind too much)

asmo also very likes the fact that you have such a green thumb because it means you can grow the prettiest flowers and you’re always willing to trim him a few to use as accessories

at some point simeon accidentally eavesdrops in on a conversation between the two of you where you’re just gushing about what kind of flowers he likes and how you’re going to plant them everywhere in the devildom because you like it when he smiles when he sees them

CRITICAL HIT!!!!!

simeon is pretty sure he combusts on the spot, while asmo is just squealing

thus was the origin of the title ‘Cutest Couple in the Universe’

satan on the other hand is mostly disinterested in you at first

the two of you live in pretty different worlds even if you live within the a five minutes’ walk of each other. he prefers to stay locked up in his room or the library and just curl up with a good book or ten for hours on end, while you’re always outside, digging flower beds and pruning bushes and cleaning fences and walls and basically doing every other little bit of manual labour that none of the brothers could be bothered to do before

he does note that you’re pretty good at what you do but that’s about it

until one day

you’re just pottering about in the garden outside the house of lamentation doing your angelic gardener thing when the stray cat that satan’s secretly been feeding for the past month or so comes by for its usual afternoon meal

satan has the window overlooking the garden so he quickly spots its ginger fur as well as you staring directly at it, and he immediately panics because what if you scare it away with your intimidating stature???

(yes, part of the reason satan doesn’t acknowledge you before this is because he was kind of scared of you and your muscles that he heard could punt beings out of entire realms back in your hey-day)

so he quickly dumps his book (though not without carefully bookmarking his place first) and rushes down to the garden in hopes of salvaging the situation, only to find you lying face first on the grass once again, though this time it’s not his little brother on your back

it’s the cat, who is purring like a little motor and aggressively kneading its paws against your back

satan can’t even see your face in this moment but he still basically gets cupid-shot in the heart because this is the cutest thing he’s ever seen

he has to force himself to calm down for a bit before he approaches lest he get overexcited and accidentally incur simeon’s wrath in the process

anyway after that satan makes a beeline for you every time he sees you and learns that you are an Absolute Idiot, but it just makes him like you even more

if satan was intimidated by you at first though, levi is downright terrified

you look like you could snap him in half with a single punch

he doesn’t try to talk to you at all for the first few weeks because how could he possibly find common ground to talk to you about?? you probably hunt dragons and eat rocks or something in your spare time

it isn’t until satan brings you up one day and mentions that you are incredibly dumb of the ass and probably couldn’t hurt a fly even if you tried that levi even entertains the idea of befriending you

he’s still not making the first move though

but it turns out that he doesn’t have to! one day you just show up at his bedroom door holding a giant crate of his latest akuzon haul

turns it got dropped off at the local post office after traffic problems and you volunteered to go pick it up and bring it back

anyway levi thanks you and starts unpacking his stuff, expecting you to leave in silence, but then he looks over and sees you just standing in front of his tv and staring at it

he’d been playing some battle platformer to pass the time before you showed up, and while levi himself doesn’t consider it particularly remarkable, you’re absolutely fascinated

being a gardener in the celestial realm you’ve never really had experience with this kind of thing, and you’re even more tech-illiterate than simeon, so what you’re seeing is basically like magic to you

so levi takes it upon himself to teach you as much about the art of gaming as he can in the short span of the next four hours before simeon gets home from a meeting of some kind and you inevitably immediately run off to greet him

you learn the basics relatively quickly but you’re still pretty awful at it

levi loses count of the amount of times you’ve accidentally run right off the end of the platform and fallen to your death once it reaches thirty two

it’s pretty much the most he’s laughed in, like, forever

congratulations! you have gained a new member in your party! levi will now follow you to the ends of the earth because you are the first person he feels like he can just be totally at ease around without being judged at all and just have fun with

(once, after you leave another gaming session to go cuddle with your boyfriend in the garden, levi catches himself thinking that ‘it isn’t fair that simeon gets to date him’ and has to do some serious self assessment)

mammon meanwhile has none of the reverence for you that his brother does

the amount of times he’s tried to rope you into his money-making schemes (which never work because he fails to realise that you are incapable of doing anything malicious in the slightest) is honestly just embarrassing at this point

simeon has to step in more than a couple of times because honestly mammon could ask you for your wallet and you’d probably just give it to him without another thought

that being said your wallet wouldn’t be much use because you never have any money

you just don’t understand the concept of exchanging money for goods and/or services so you never see any need for it

that being said, simeon does give you some money every time you go out into town on your own because something will inevitably catch your eye and you’ll suddenly realise that you just cannot live without it

the thing is simeon spoils you ridiculously so he always gives you way more money than would be considered a reasonable allowance

which means all mammon has to do is tag along and ask you nicely and you’ll probably buy him anything he wants

he does this a couple of times but then stops because he actually starts feeling bad about it

something just doesn’t sit right with him when he’s walking around with a bunch of shiny new things you’ve bought him with money that was meant to be spent on you while the only thing you’ve bought of your own volition is a pack of chocolate lollipops shaped like rabbits to share with simeon and luke

he may be the demonic avatar of greed but even he has a line that he won’t cross

he makes up for it by buying you things instead

nothing too expensive (he’s still mammon after all), just little things like sweets or bulbs for flowers you haven’t tried planting yet or food colouring for you to use for your candied fruits

speaking of those candied fruits, guess who loves and would probably kill a man for them?

lucifer

man may not seem like it but he has a hell of a sweet tooth

there was a bit of tension between the two of you when you first met (well there was tension from lucifer anyway) because he’d never met you like he had simeon and luke and had no idea what you were like

plus he’d heard about how you’re everyone’s favourite now back in the celestial realm and the little piece of him that still misses his life as an angel is a little petty about it

but then he interacts with you more and he realises that that favouritism is absolutely deserved

he will not admit it but he has wondered what being carried by you would feel like on multiple occasions

figures out how to read you really well which isn’t much of an achievement when you wear every single feeling you have on your sleeve but it still brings him a bit of satisfaction when he notices something that simeon doesn’t

he may be a pridey mcprideface but he is willing to give up a bit of that pride by pretending he can’t carry something heavy so that he can watch you do it

simeon acts like he doesn’t notice this but he absolutely does and he doesn’t know if he should tease lucifer about it or whack him over the head with a newspaper for it

all that aside though, much like simeon,  lucifer also thinks you’re just the cutest

he comes across you building a pillow fortress in the middle of the house of lamentation’s living room one day and is understandably like “what are you doing in my house and what are you doing with those pillows”

you explain very seriously that satan asked you for help in an apparently pre-arranged pillow fight with mammon and that every warrior needs a well-protected base of operations and offer to show him all the optimised battle features somehow recreated from nothing but cushions and blankets and chairs 

lucifer’s heart goes d o k i  d o k i

he also has experience with Big and Dumb men from dealing with both beel and diavolo (when the three of you are together it’s just himbo3) so the stupid doesn’t bother him much

speaking of diavolo (wow i am nailing all of these transitions from character to character look at me go)

this man is basically just a grown up golden retriever boy and you are a big gentle st. bernard so the two of you get along like a house on fire

you’ve seen how much this man gushes about lucifer. now imagine that times a thousand

that is how he talks about you

honestly sometimes you’d think HE’S the one dating you

simeon would probably get defensive if he didn’t get so much whiplash from their conversations about you

diavolo: “i must say, i never would have pinned [name] as being your type”

simeon, ready to Fucking Brawl: “excuse me?”

diavolo: “though i don’t blame you, have you seen his page in that book about the celestial war? the illustration does his true beauty no justice, of course, but it’s enchanting in and of itself. to be honest i’d have loved to have seen him in action during the war, i imagine it would have been quite breath-taking to see”

simeon: “…what”

barbatos is usually just there in the background during half of these exchanges and he has to seriously stiffen up his poker face to resist just bursting into laughter

the other half of the time the conversation is just simeon and diavolo going back and forth gushing about you

barbatos honestly dislikes you a bit at first

not for any personal faults of your own! it’s just that all your garden work + your very forgetful mind means that you’re often tracking dirt everywhere

it doesn’t help that diavolo keeps inviting you over to the castle for tea and a chat and half the time you leave these big footprints on the floor and he wants to cry because he just spent four hours mopping that

he mentions it to diavolo in passing at one point, who then passes the message on to simeon

barbatos kind of gets concerned for himself because he knows simeon does not take well to you being insulted (one time a demon at the r.a.d. called you an ‘unintelligent buffoon’ and he was ready to start a fist fight right then and there)

not that it was an insult, but you never know how love can blind you to reason

but simeon just assures him not to worry and tells you to remember to clean your shoes as well as changing clothes after doing some gardening

normally you’d forget being told these things within a few hours but simeon offers to give you a kiss every time you remember to do this so now you remember every single time you’re about to enter a building after doing some gardening

after that barbatos holds no ill will to you at all

he teaches you how to bake and is honestly so endeared by how clumsy you get in the kitchen

you knock an entire container of salt into the cake mix by accident because your hands are too big and you moved too fast and barbatos is just like 🥺

he low-key babies you even though he’s like an entire two heads shorter than you

you don’t mind though because getting babied by barbatos means you get given all sorts of cakes and sweets all the time

simeon isn’t sure how to feel about it but it doesn’t seem to be the patronising kind of babying (it’s more of an affectionate doting) so he lets it happen

what he doesn’t let happen is solomon’s relentless attempts to feed you his food

you are both too dumb and too nice to realise just how bad his cooking is, but simeon knows you have a sensitive stomach and are actually a pretty fussy eater - you just tend to stay quiet when something isn’t to your liking because you don’t want to complain

having had a sample of solomon’s food himself in the past, he knows that you’ll probably get sick eating it, and he doesn’t want you to be uncomfy so he refuses to let you try even a bite

it’s like he has a radar in his head that goes off every time solomon approaches you will a bowl of ‘noodle soup’ that looks more like something he’s fished out of a nuclear waste tank

solomon, when he’s not trying to indirectly poison you, is probably the guy you spend the most time with apart from simeon and luke

he’ll just hang around nearby with a spell book while you do your gardening and show you some neat little magic tricks every now and then

he tries to help with the gardening but he���s not exactly physically strong and he nearly breaks his back trying to lift a giant bag of compost

so he decides it’s probably better for him to just watch from afar

kind of wants to conduct an experiment to see just how much weight you can lift before you start getting tired

one time he sees you cut down a whole tree with one hard swat of your hand and just walk off carrying it over your shoulder and he has to take several deep breaths

luke knew you already, so not much changes while you’re in the devildom

he really wants to learn to make candied fruits the same way you do but he can never get the hang of boiling the sugar mixture to the right heat and consistency (plus he’s kind of scared of how hot it gets)

you like to just carry him around on your shoulders and while luke would normally bristle at being treated like a child, you act like this with nearly everyone

(once he sees you running around the garden with diavolo of all people perched on your shoulders, arms raised in the air like he’s on a rollercoaster ride, and he nearly passes out on the spot)

he seriously adores you and acts like a guard dog whenever he feels like any of the others are trying to take advantage of your dim-witted naïveté because NO demons are allowed to harm his big brother like that

he will also chase them off with a stick if he has to if they get too close because no being is allowed to even remotely try to disrupt your relationship with simeon 

simeon himself is no fool, and he’s well aware of the effect you have on pretty much everyone you come across, but he trusts them because they’re his friends

besides (and he isn’t being cocky or anything), it’s not like the relationship you have with them even holds a candle to what you have with him

they’ve all known you for less than a year, he’s loved you for nearly two millennia

they might be allowed take naps on your back while you work or be carried about on your shoulders, but do they get to spend every night snuggled up in your arms, feeling your chest rise and fall with every breath you take? no, he doesn’t think so

in conclusion: one day himbos like you will probably take over the world with their big muscles and unwavering loyalty and clueless grins that could make anyone’s heart skip a beat, and simeon’s pretty sure he’d be okay with it

[bookwormscififan]

If I could gush about one thing in ISWM, it would be that ending.

Because dropping into the ‘Space Was Cool’ number was like a slap to the face and actually made me cry

And then we get Old Mark giving us such insightful words (It’s 2am and I used all my eloquence on the letter from Yancy) before disappearing himself because hey, we destroyed the universe. Everything has to end. Everything has to disappear because we made our reality collapse.

Getting whacked in the head by Mark was insulting, but figuring out the paradox was amazing.

And if there’s one thing I love, it’s a good paradox.

The last time I felt so satisfied with a paradox event was in Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox, which I read last year.

But this one, it was so good! We realise that if Mark hadn’t gone back to stop us, we would never have gotten the crystal, we would never have needed to destroy the universe, which would never have given Mark reason to go back.

The paradox is all because of Mark. Not us, Mark. Because he went back to build the warp core and stop us, which opened the wormhole.

The use of the (as I like to call it) revelation music during Mark’s realisation that the whole paradox was his fault added to the emotions I felt through that scene. And that music just makes me want to cry every time I hear it, because of the DAMIEN revelation (realising that Damien has to become Dark and Celine can sleep) on top of the WMW revelation (realising and coming to terms with the fact that Abe is dead and Wil is crazy).

And then at the very end, when Mark thanks us for not giving up on him… because this whole ordeal was us trying over and over again to create a timeline where everyone is safe. And also because we’re all here. All 32 million of us. None of us gave up on Mark, even when he took breaks. Even when things happened that stopped us. We never gave up on him.

The ending was like a farewell to the events of WKM, but it was also an ode to us, the community, and our unfailing support of him. And it makes me so emotional because I personally have gone through so much between part 1 and part 2 that this ending was such a lightness.

I love paradox theories. I love Markiplier lore. I love this community, and this adventure was one of the best I’ve been on.

Mark if you ever read this, you did so well on this ending. I loved every second of it, and despite getting teary, I really enjoyed it.

[god1ngs]

# guilty conscience

+ summary: after leaving your home due to your immense guilt, a ghost visits you

+ pairing: origins smp wilbur x gn reader

+ contains: implied death at the start, gun at the beginning, blood, mentions of death, talks of guilt, angst to fluff, one masc term towards reader

+ notes: hello! i'm happy to share this with you :D i'm actually really proud of it!! also, i imagined o!wilbur to look like this while writing :]

+ 2.1k words / masterlist

With every breath you took, your chest ached and your head throbbed. Your legs wouldn’t stop moving, only kept speeding up in hopes of escaping. You could hardly  hear the heavy footsteps behind you over the sound of your ears ringing, blood rushing to your head. You couldn’t stop the terror coursing through your veins. It felt as if a million different things were happening at once, unable to focus on them all at the same time.

A cry sounded out from behind you, your back turning to see Wilbur, a gun to the back of his head. The adrenaline rushing through you made your heart pound, unable to hear anything but Wilbur shouting at you to run. You tried to go back, but the bullet that passed by your head, getting lodged into a nearby tree, made your fight or flight instinct close in.

You made the mistake of looking back as you ran. Before he could turn invisible, you saw Wilbur’s ink-black wings get sliced off, the shrill scream of pain making a scream of your own force its way out of your throat. Whether you get killed or not be damned, you needed to run back to get Wilbur, you could still get him away, even if his wings are gone—

“Run, [Name]!”

Years later, his words had continued to repeat in your head. You were only a child back then, eleven or twelve. You couldn’t have helped him, you know that, but still— maybe you could’ve done something. Even if he told you to run, you’re still consumed by guilt. After it happened, you had waited for hours, well into the dark, for Wilbur’s return.

You knew he wouldn’t come back, but hope was the only thing you had then.

Philza had found you there, sitting on the outskirts of the forest, your gaze glued to the stretch beyond the trees. “Mate? You okay? Where’s Wil?” He had asked, his voice and words and tone still as clear as day in your mind. It only took a single question for you to break down into sobs, although your eyes never left the forest.

He had held you until you calmed down, listening to your jumble of words, hardly incoherent. He had pieced what happened together, quickly distraught by the news. You’ve never seen Philza cry until that night. It only made your sobs grow louder, apologizing through your tears.

Your crying had woken Tommy up who, at the time, was only six or seven. He asked where Wilbur was, excited to show him how he could finally glide down— almost there to being like Philza. The blond hugged his confused son, unwilling to explain just yet. When he did explain, Tommy was mad. He was mad at you specifically, pinning the blame on you and screaming and shouting at you.

Although Philza told him that it wasn’t your fault, you could see the flash in his eyes. He thought you were to blame as well. Their accusations, even the one left unsaid, had worsened your guilt. You were plagued with nightmares for the next few days. You became paranoid too, hearing and seeing Wilbur even when he wasn’t there.

Everyone’s whispers didn’t help either. You could sense the tense atmosphere whenever you were near. They all blamed you for Wilbur’s death. Maybe they were right; maybe you were to blame. With your guilt wearing you down, you could only take so many more judgemental stares and not-so-quiet whispers before you couldn’t take it anymore.

You had packed up your things and left without a word. You didn’t know where you would go, but you had to go somewhere. You couldn’t stay here anymore, not when everyone has a vicious opinion of you. Sometimes you wondered if you could even blame them for blaming you.

They were probably happy you left anyway.

Moving away didn’t take away the guilt though. It still weighed heavy on your conscience. You still couldn’t sleep without hearing Wilbur’s cries, without seeing his sliced off wings sitting in his pool of blood next to him. The ringing in your ears and the pounding of your heart was still clear to you.

Everything about that day had stuck with you. Even earlier, when you and Wilbur had just gone out to pick flowers. You remember how he gave you a vibrant cornflower, blue in color, and tucked it behind your ear. You could still hear the playfulness in his voice as he kneeled before you, grinning.

“You look dashing, my prince.”

You couldn’t deny your feelings for Wilbur during childhood. You had grown up with him, been there with him during everything. You even remembered when he had first gotten his wings; he was so excited about it, grinning at how astonished you looked when he began flying.

You sighed fondly at the memory, a ghost of a smile curling on your lips. You wondered how Wilbur would act as an adult, if he ever was one.

Maybe you’d still like him.

Maybe you two would’ve ended up together.

You can only dream now, wishing for what could’ve been. Maybe if you’d gone back you could’ve saved him. You know that a guilty conscience wouldn’t bring him back, but the mountain of guilt you’ve had since that had been building up. You wish you could’ve done more. Maybe Wilbur would still be here.

However, right now, you have things to do. You couldn’t stay holed up in your home forever. You had begun running low on food. You needed to set up a farm as well, like the ones Scott has. After packing your items, you set out for crops; maybe you’d get lucky.

It wasn’t until nighttime that you came back. It took you a while to set up the farm and find seeds, but it was worth it. With loaves of bread in your bag, you finally made your way inside your home, sighing in relief when you set down your bag.

Even if you hadn’t got lucky like you hoped, your mission was still successful. You managed to get seeds and set up your farm, even making it with redstone so it was automatic. You’d never worked with redstone before, but you were always happy to try something new. Thankfully, it had worked out.

With the exhaustion from your trip, it took you a few moments of putting your stuff away before you realized that something was off. With a closer inspection to your house, you noticed that trivial items had been knocked down. Little cactuses and a few of your pictures were on the ground.

You didn’t knock them down before you left. You would’ve picked them up.

Then there was a sound behind you, like someone had fallen. When you turned around, no one was there. Then footsteps were heard, followed by a quiet snicker. You couldn’t wrap your head around what was happening, looking around for any sign of an intruder, who supposedly liked messing with you.

Trying to make sense of the situation, you had stopped moving, brows furrowed as you stared at the wall. You couldn’t understand what was going on. How could you hear this person yet not see them? It didn’t make any—

“Boo!”

Your eyes being covered by pale hands interrupted your train of thought, the sound of laughter behind you. As the hands uncovered your eyes, you whipped around to see a translucent figure, flying a few feet above the air. Tousled brown hair fell into his eyes as he clutched his stomach with laughter, a grin on his face.

“Wilbur...?”

You felt like your entire world had shattered at the sight of your previously-thought-dead best friend. Was he dead? He appeared to be a ghost of some kind, but you didn’t care. Tears were brought to your eyes at the mere sight of him, at the sound of his contagious laughter that caused a few pitiful chuckles of your own.

“It’s me! I’m a ghost now, [Name]! Isn’t that awesome?” He exclaimed, giving you a little twirl. Still in disbelief, you nodded your head, stumbling on your words. “Yeah, Wil, that’s... that’s wonderful. How did you... how did you find me?” You were happy he was here, but you couldn’t understand how he found you either.

You had purposefully moved far, far away from the original land. You didn’t want anyone to find you. Despite how lonely it often was, you were content with being alone. You didn’t have any judging stares or unbearable tension in the room. You didn’t have to listen to whispers regarding your every move anymore.

You were free from all that, yet your past seemed to catch up to you.

Wilbur sat upon your counter, a smile on his face. He still seemed like the Wilbur you knew, albeit grown up. His hair had grown out more, now in the way of his eyes. Speaking of his eyes, they were pure white. It unnerved you a bit. his clothes had changed as well; a tattered, purple cape rested upon his shoulders, held together by a white string.

“I asked Phil about you, but he didn’t know where you had gone.” The ghost spoke, swinging his legs back and forth. “It was crazy to me, you know? How no one knew where you were. Then I found out it was because they all blamed you for my death.”

You knew he was right. There was no denying it that everyone blamed you; after all, you were there, but hearing it was different. Hearing it made your heart shatter inside your chest, reduced to smaller pieces than before. You couldn’t help the tears that had risen to your eyes, harshly biting down your lower lip to stop them from falling.

You couldn’t embarrass yourself in front of Wilbur after seeing him for the first time in years.

Wilbur didn’t seem to mind though, only giving you one of his award-winning smiles. He leaned up to press a cold hand on your cheek. You shivered at the feeling. “Don’t cry, sunshine.” He said gently, wiping away the tears you hadn’t realized had fallen. Your heart ached for a reason other than guilt now, overwhelmed with emotion towards the man.

His cold, see-through hand left your cheek, much to your dismay. His arms opened in return, inviting you in them, which you happily accepted. You let yourself fall into his embrace, not realizing that your tears were going through him and dripping on your counter. He only held you closer, humming against your hair.

Wilbur lifted your chin gently with his forefinger and thumb, wiping away your tears once more. He was too kind to you, more than what you deserved at least.

“You’re too pretty to cry, sunflower.”

You fell back into his embrace, allowing his arms to wrap around you and bring you the comfort you desperately needed. His hand began stroking your hair, his humming stopping again. “I found out though,” He continued. “that they blamed you. I didn’t like it. I think that was the only time I’ve ever yelled at Phil or Tommy.”

He chuckled as you pulled back from him to stare at him in disbelief. In all your ears of knowing him, you’ve never heard him yell at Phil or Tommy with malice in his tone. He yelled at Tommy playfully quite a bit, but never with anger. You couldn’t even imagine him yelling at them like that.

“You yelled at them?” You asked, your voice a mere whisper. Giving your head a little pat, Wilbur nodded, his charming smile still evident. “I did. For you.” His smile falters for a moment, his brows furrowing. His gaze steers away from yours to your wood flooring. “I couldn’t stand to listen to them blame you. We were both children. You would’ve died if you had gone back.”

Wilbur looked back at you, your eyes wide with shock at his words. You knew that you would die but, again, hearing it is jarring. He smiled ever so brightly at you again though, despite your shocked expression.

“So I’m glad you didn’t go back. Thank you for listening to me back then, sunray.” 

Your heart warmed. Someone finally didn’t blame you. Someone was telling you that you were in the right, that you weren’t wrong by heeding his instructions— and it was Wilbur. With tears welling in your eyes again, you let out a laugh.

“I think I’m in love with you.” You blurted out. Your face flushed as Wilbur laughed at your words, his face just as crimson. His smile only seemed to brighten— as it always does— as he holds you closer.

“Are you? Funny,” He leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your head. “because I think I’m in love with you too.”

main taglist (ask to be added) / @wingedghostpepper, @toodeepintofandoms

[dreamsclock]

Tommy or whomever: WE HAVE TO STOP WILL! Phil: *Tucks him under his wing blocking his view of day light making his bird brain launch sleep mode* There :)

in true dreamsclock form, i had to turn this into something far more angsty than this fun prompt was probably hinting at !! :DDDD

warnings: major character death, death, murder, blood, dying, fighting, emotional distress, filicide, hurt no comfort

“Mmm,” Wilbur says, voice raspy, muffled, “‘s dark.”

Phil clutches his son tighter, wings shielding then both from everyone else’s view. He doesn’t need an audience for this. He doesn’t need anyone to see. “Understatement.”

“Been a while since you’ve done this.” Wilbur’s tone is softer, less manic than he’s heard it in a long time: it reminds him of the little boy he’d raised so many years ago, and for a minute Phil is sorrowful, for a minute Phil asks himself what happened to that boy?, and is close to inconsolable not to have an answer. “Longer for me than you.”

Phil knows he’s talking about the Void, and so his grip on Wilbur shifts, tightens protectively, even though he knows his son is slipping away from him, piece by piece, even as they sit pressed against each other. “I know,” he says, quiet, unable to say anything else, “I know, Wil.”

His son hums, and Phil feels his body shiver: it’s not cold, under his wings, under the warm sun beating down on them, but Wil has always been cold after coming back — even before then, he’d been icy to the touch, tainted by the cold from Pogtopia and its influence on him. “Didn’t think you’d do it again,” Wilbur admits, and there’s almost pride in his voice; sick, twisted pride, but it’s there nonetheless, making bile rise in Phil’s stomach, “I’m impressed.”

“Don’t.” Phil’s voice wavers. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare. Please.”

Because the son he’s cradling in his wings is dying, bleeding out because of Phil’s sword between his ribs in the exact same spot as last time and fuck, fuck, it hurts. Both of them have long since stopped trying to prevent the bleeding; Wilbur has ceased his hysterical anger and desperation not to die, Phil has stopped crying. Both of them know what’s coming.

All Phil can do is make it a little more manageable.

Wilbur exhales; slowly, like he’s savouring each breath in case it’s his last, and looks up at Phil through feathers and bloodstained fingers.

“It was going to be mine,” he murmurs, eyes dark, reminiscent of the Void, black and mean and suffocating both of them, “the world. It was supposed to be mine.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be yours.” Phil swallows, resists shouting with miserable anger at his stupid, prideful, ill son. “It was never supposed to be yours, Wil. It was for all of us.”

Wilbur chuckles, coughs up blood. His eyes are starting to look heavy; it’s clearly a struggle to keep them open, a struggle Wilbur doesn’t seem to care much about winning. “You told me when I was a child I could have anything I wanted, Phil. You told me the world was my oyster, do you remember?”

Phil’s heart is heavier and blacker than before. He makes a noise in affirmation, in agreement, because he does remember, remembers telling his son the cheesy little saying the same way all parents do — he hadn’t realised how damning it would be for Wil, hadn’t realised in a million years until he’d been staring him down as he’d pressed a button to detonate his country.

Not his country, Phil corrects himself, because it had never just been Wilbur’s. It had been Tommy’s, Tubbo’s, Niki’s, Fundy’s, fuck, even if he’d hated L’Manburg, he’s got enough sense to see how much it had meant to others.

“Do you think I’ll go back?”

“To the Void?” Phil keeps his voice as steady as possible. Wilbur, irritatingly, despairingly clever, blinks back at him knowingly, half gone already. “I think so, yeah. Yeah, maybe.”

“I want to stay,” Wilbur confesses, and his face creases up as he suddenly realised that as his truth, and his struggles begin anew; twisting, limbs knocking weakly against his father’s wings and arms, “I don’t want to die again, I don’t want to go back there, I won’t go back.”

Phil holds him tightly, simultaneously the judge, jury, executioner and the damned, feeling self hatred rise up inside his chest for doing so. “I know you don’t, Wil,” he says, and it’s supposed to be calm but it comes out ragged, “you don’t have a choice. This has to happen again. I’m so sorry.”

“Phil,” Wilbur chokes out, raw, eyes flickering open one last desperate time, “please don’t let me die, please—” And he’s crying, Phil realises in horror and heartbreak, both of them are crying and the sky has opened up above them in rain but his wings keep them dry, “Dad, Dad, please.”

(“Dad,” Wilbur chirps, and he’s four years old and the world is his oyster, “tell me a story, please, Dad.”

Phil laughs, warm, content, and rolls his eyes, sitting down beside his son again. “Another?” He teases, but begins anyway, voice low, calm, while a storm rages outside.)

“It’s going to be okay,” Phil consoles him the only way he can, useless, too late, as Wilbur sobs in rage and defeat and fear in his arms, “just go to sleep, Wil. You just need to sleep.”

And with his wings blocking out the sun, it’s hard for Wilbur to say otherwise. Distantly, Phil can hear Tommy barking orders at people outside, can hear Tubbo’s anxious inquiry and Techno’s low drawling voice as he speaks to a similarly injured and defeated Dream. Phil’s sole attention is on his son: too late, he thinks bitterly, too late, as per fucking usual.

“Just go to sleep, Wil,” he tells Wilbur, whose eyes have slipped shut, whose struggles have stopped, “I’ll be here when you wake up. I promise.”

[frodo-with-glasses]

Thoughts on “Journeyman”

(From some PMs to a friend)

- I didn’t write this whole thing in one sitting. I had the idea to take “You Are My Sunshine” and add a chorus and some other verses with different metaphors, oh, I dunno, a year or two ago?? So the first two choruses and anchor, compass, and firelight were already sitting in a word document and in the back of my brain. There was also “rainfall” and “reason (not to lose hope)”, but those didn’t really fit the new theme or structure of the song.

- So I was making dinner and thinking about the whole “let’s hear about Frodo and the Ring!” conversation that Frodo and Sam have in this chapter I just read, and the refrain “I hope they tell a million tales/But it would never be enough” got stuck in my head and I was like “why does that sound familiar?? OH” and so I dug the document out again and added the bridge and “lighthouse” and final chorus.

- It’s from Frodo’s POV. The first verse itself is actually really emotional too if you think about the context of going into Mordor where the light is constantly obscured by “grey clouds”, and yet having Sam with him is like bringing sunshine in—which has narrative significance even in the book itself. Heck, Sam makes Frodo LAUGH, genuinely laugh, on the path of Cirith Ungol, and Tolkien himself says a sound like that hadn’t been heard in those parts of the world “since Sauron came to Middle Earth”. Sam made Frodo laugh and BREAK A SILENCE THAT’S BEEN THERE SINCE THE SILMARILLION. I JUST. I. Shut up I’m crying. But anyway it’s really easy to overlook the first verse ‘cause “bleh we all know ‘you are my sunshine’” so that’s what the other verses are for.

- The theme of travel throughout anchor, compass, and firelight actually surprised me with how apt it was for Frodo and Sam. Then again, I named the song “Journeyman”, even back then, so I think it was intentional. I love the fact that the first verse says “traverse these seas” because it makes me think about Frodo and Sam going to Valinor and ughhhhh—

- Oh yeah also “I could write a million poems/stories” fits in with a headcanon of mine; Frodo’s love language is Words of Affirmation, right, and I think anytime after the Quest when he’s not bogged down by Depression Fog, he’s constantly trying to write poems and songs about Sam, just like Bilbo used to write about his adventures, and he keeps getting frustrated because nothing short of Elvish poetry, he feels, would be enough to express how much love and gratitude he has for Sam. Again, something from the old draft that nicely paralleled my current thoughts.

- The bridge is new, like I said. It’s all about this moment on Cirith Ungol that Frodo gives in to despair at seeing the armies of Morgul. He lies on his face and cries before they leave, and Gollum makes them climb some more, and then after they get up the Stairs, Frodo and Sam have that conversation about being in the great stories someday. And it’s literally a spot of light in the darkness in Frodo’s head. He doesn’t think he’ll make it. He barely thinks he’ll survive to finish the job. But he’ll keep putting one foot in front of the other, until he stands there alone on the precipice of Mount Doom, if only because Sam is there to help him on the way.

- LIGHTHOUSE. HNNNG. Okay I had to chose my words REALLY carefully for this verse because I wanted to keep up the metaphor of a lighthouse but ALSO foreshadow Sam’s ship landing in Valinor. “It seems that you must stay while I must leave” makes sense well enough; the tricksy bit is “but when I see you on the shore”. Which shore?? If you’re just thinking of the metaphor of a lighthouse, you’ll think the speaker is talking about returning home from being at sea, because lighthouses don’t move. But in the STORY Frodo sees Sam on the shore of VALINOR—the lighthouse comes to HIM. And then “this ship adrift we’ll finally moor”, which, again, continues the metaphor of a lighthouse, but it also stands for a) Sam’s literal ship that will be moored in Valinor and b) the feelings of being unsettled and incomplete that both Frodo and Sam had until they’re reunited in the afterlife. “Be at home forevermore”?? Not in the Shire. Home is where Sam is, and now, Sam is here with him. I just. AAAAAAHHH—

- And then the final chorus pulls us back to the moment Frodo decided to give Bag End to the Gamgees. That’s the “home” part of “my life, my love, my home”. I had a lot of fun singing this part because it has this sense of triumph and passion about it that just makes me happy to think about Frodo experiencing, because normally he’d be so bogged down by trauma and depression that he physically wouldn’t be ABLE to, so the moment he can actually put his head above water and feel like this, write like this, SING like this, is just a beautiful sense of victory to me all on its own.

- Also Frodo doesn’t even want his own name in the stories at this point. All he cares about is making sure everyone knows what Sam did for him. “I hope they tell a million stories/And etch your name in stone”. Sam’s name. Not his. Hhhnng.

- Anyway yeah that’s all I’ve got LOL

- WAIT NO I DON’T; WOULDN’T IT BE FUNNY IF I PULL THAT THING THAT TOLKIEN DID WHICH IS “ah yes this nursery rhyme, ‘The Cow Jumped Over the Moon’, is actually a fragment of a much older and longer song and also it was written by a hobbit” BUT IT’S “ah yes ‘You Are My Sunshine’ is actually the only surviving fragment of A SONG THAT FRODO WROTE FOR SAM” AHAHAHAHAHA

[medium-kat07]

Roulette

Ao3

Chapter 16: Don’t you dare

Pairings: Quackbur, SBI

AU: Superpowers

Wordcount: 4206

TW: Jokes of death, Crying, arguing, emotional pain, explosives, excessive cursing.

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“I think I’m dying,” Wilbur mumbled.

“Wil.”

“This is the end.”

“Wil.”

Tommy snapped his fingers next to his brother’s ear, making the man jolt. “Just make a move already!”

Wilbur glared at the chessboard. “This game makes no sense! What’s the point? Surely this wasn’t what wars were like a million years ago. It should be illegal.”

“Good thing I’m not on death row for playing it,” Tommy deadpanned, grabbing Wilbur’s arm and pulling him up into his chair. “Do you want me to help you again?”

“No! I don’t accept help from a child regarding chess.”

“That’s not what you said five moves ago,” Techno grumbled from where he sat beside the board, surveying their competition.

“You don’t get to fucking talk!”

“That phrase there implies that I have also asked for help. Which is stupid because I haven’t even played Tommy yet, you’re taking too long.”

The brunet narrowed his eyes at the pawn on the left side, moving it forward.

Tommy used his knight to take it out.

“Wh- You can’t do that, it went to the side!”

“That’s what knights do! It’s an L shape! Do you need me to explain the rules again?”

“Leave me alone,” Wilbur groaned, laying his head on the table again. “I’m just dumb. Let me rot here.”

It was mid-day. Wilbur had a mission later that night, one he knew Q would likely show up to.  

Q.

His phone sat heavy in his pocket.

No. We are not texting him right now.

The worst thing about his recent epiphany was trying desperately not to text Quackity. He failed, and his record without asking the vigilante about his day was about 20 hours. (Not even a full fucking day.) He attempted to hide his phone from himself, sometimes, just to keep from texting the man about every little thing.  

Sometimes he stared at his phone screen and wondered what could feasibly happen if he just told him. If he spilled every detail about the machinations of his mind, every strange moment where all he wanted to do was hold him, every word he’d ever thought or spoken. He wanted to say I love you. I barely know you. I don’t know your last name, I’ve never even seen you in daylight, but I think I would die for you in one heartbeat, and only because that’s as long as it would take for the organ to stop beating. I love it when you get confused and laugh at the same time and your nose scrunches in the middle, and I love every line and fold in your hands that tell the story of what you do with them. I love your instant comebacks and glaring eyes, I love the scarred tissue over your left eye and how fucking human it makes you look. I love how you love and you hope and you fight. I love the little line next to your smile and I want to see it every fucking day.

He wanted to tack I love you at the end of every sentence.  

And was forced to put a heart emoji instead.

A heart emoji. A fucking heart emoji. Does he even know what that does to me?

And it was stupid because he could never say any of it. Ever. He’d have to settle for twined hands, stolen glances, wayward compliments, and a feeling of fondness floating around the two of them that Wilbur had to remind himself were only platonic. Strictly platonic.

He’d grown to hate the word.

Not only did he have to deal with the fact that he could lose his job, Quackity could get arrested and/or die, and his family would never let him hear the end of falling so tragically for a vigilante, but there was also the god-awful truth that Quackity didn’t reciprocate.

If he did, he’d have said something by now, right?

Wilbur knew the logical thing to do would be to cut Quackity off. He was putting everyone in danger just by having his contact on his phone. But he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t simply say “Sorry, I’m done here, never talking to you again,” because despite knowing Q probably didn’t reciprocate, he knew the vigilante still enjoyed his company, and cutting him off with no excuse in sight would fill Wilbur with so much guilt and longing he’d probably die of loneliness.

I am so fucking pathetic, he thought to himself, eyes narrowing.

“You need to leave soon,” Techno commented. “Are you going to finish up this game or just give up?”

“Wilbur Minecraft does not give up,” the brunet growled.  

He moved his knight to take out one of Tommy’s pawns.  

Tommy nodded and took out the knight with a bishop.

“I give up.”

Tommy cheered, pumping his fists in the air.

Techno tapped the end of his pen on his chin and then scribbled on the paper in front of him. It depicted a messy scoreboard. “Tommy, three. Wilbur, zero.”

Wilbur rolled his eyes, standing up only to find his leg felt fuzzy for some reason. “Fuck!” He immediately shifted all of his weight onto the other limb. “Pins and needles. Fuck. Help.”

“Your leg’s asleep? That’s great, I don’t care,” Tommy commented with a grin, packing the chess set in an old box. “I’m the biggest man ever.”

“That’s great, Tommy. I’m in pain.”

“Your costume should be in the closet, Phil will text you details,” Techno said with an overly sweet grin. “Time to head out.”

“Yeah, yeah, I hear you, golden child,” Wilbur grumbled, easing more weight onto his leg. “Fuck both of you.”

Before he left, he grabbed his phone and snapped a photo of the chessboard, sending it in a message to a contact labeled ‘Q’ with the caption, “I hate this game.”

It occurred to him that he should have lied and said he was winning. He mentally kicked himself for not thinking of it sooner.

--

Phil: There are reports of villain sightings near a nuclear facility in Kinoko. I’m sending you the address now

Wilbur: Is there a specific villain or??

Phil: not sure, the locals just say someone with a mask is creeping around. Could be new

Phil: can you get in and figure out what’s going on?

Wilbur: it’s not like I have a choice.

When Wilbur happened upon the facility, a large rectangular building with no logo or sign, he began to wonder how many of the agency’s buildings were so abandoned that Villains could just come in whenever they pleased and take over. If the agency weren’t using them, they could turn the places into hospitals or shelters. Instead, they remain empty, if not for rat infestations and villain hideouts.

Wilbur checked his phone again. There was nothing from Quackity.

Something he’d noticed was that Quackity hadn’t responded as much anymore. It wasn’t much to worry over, and Wilbur didn’t care too much because he knew the vigilante must be busy- but it didn’t change the fact that Wilbur had been met with radio silence over the past week or so.

At some points, he began to wonder if the vigilante had gone off and died somewhere, but eventually, Quackity replied just in time for Wilbur to not go looking.

It was only a little worrying.

He found the front doors (or perhaps they were back doors? They were almost imperceptible, being the same color as the concrete walls.) and walked into the building.

The inside reminded him vaguely of Nuclear’s facility, with the winding halls that were all the same color. Again, he had no idea what he was looking for. Again, the place was abandoned and desolate, with every room usually containing only a few empty boxes or chairs.

He wouldn’t be surprised if there was nothing here, or maybe just a kid in a mask trying to have fun, but he hoped there wasn’t anything too big. Q might not even show up, and Wilbur was not in the mood to get thrown into a wall at this point.

Do I rely on him to win everything now?

Hm. That’s got to be some flavor of unhealthy.

As if on cue, Wilbur heard a slam from a doorway a few feet across the hall.

“…Q?”

Wilbur rounded the corner, finding his friend standing frozen by a doorway.

“…Wil?”

Wilbur grinned. “I was wondering when you were gonna show up!”

Quackity seemed to wither. “Yeah, I- yeah. I haven’t found anything around here.”

“Neither have I. How long have you been here?”

Quackity stared at him for a moment. Wilbur took in the flits of fear and guilt in the air, and Quackity’s hands fidgeting with his sleeve.

He does that when he wants to say something.

Wilbur frowned. “Are you alright?”

“Fine,” The vigilante said curtly, turning on his heel and beginning to walk away. “I’m doing great, actually.”

Wilbur narrowed his eyes and followed him. “You don’t seem fine.”

“Well, I am. What makes you think you can tell?” Quackity grumbled.  

Wilbur felt a pang of confusion. “…sorry.”

Quackity did not answer.

He’s upset about something. Afraid, or- or guilty. He’s hurting over something. Am I annoying him, or should I try to fill the silence? Did I cross a line I forgot about? Is it about me?

It’s amazing that a few cold words can send me spiraling like this.

“I heard,” Wilbur started tentatively, “That there was a sighting of a villain around here, but they don’t know who. There might not be anyone at all.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you know anything?”

Quackity shook his head.

Wilbur was having a bit of trouble keeping up with him as they walked. The vigilante was walking fast, and Wilbur was also focusing on the questions he asked, trying to not seem too invasive.

“…We haven’t talked in a while, I know.”

“Mm-hm.”

It feels unfair when you do this. You can’t be silent, unresponsive, and expect me to just anticipate exactly what to say. You only do it because you know it frustrates me.

We have to talk. I can’t force him to talk. I have to be patient. I hate being brushed off like this.

Fuck.

“…has anything happened recently?”

“I-” Quackity stopped in the middle of the hall, rubbing his eyes. “I don’t know. Look, can you just- maybe you should go home.”

“…I… can’t do that…” Wilbur said slowly, growing a little more panicked. “I can’t. If something is going on, you can talk about it, if you need, I’m here to listen.”

Wilbur thought he felt streaks of fondness shoot through the air before they were drowned by guilt.

“Look, I can’t- I can’t do this right now.”

“…okay? Can you explain what you mean?”

“I mean you need to leave,” Quackity breathed, running hands through his hair.

“I can help you. I know I’m prideful and all, but I promise not to drag you down, I just-“

“No, no, Wil, you need to leave!”  

Wilbur was taken aback by the harsh hostility. Despite his flashing eyes and baring teeth, Wilbur only felt pain coming from the vigilante.

The hero paused. “I don’t understand.”

“I need you to leave, please. I don’t- I don’t want to be around you.”

Oh.

Wilbur blinked, taking a step back. “…What?”

“It’s not, please, I’m sorry, it’s not personal, I just- I can’t right now. I can’t. You’re- this is dangerous, and I need- I need you to just leave me alone. Not just today, for- for a while.” Quackity was stumbling violently over his words. He just seemed guilty, and frustrated, but that was to be expected.

He’s finally had enough of me, Wilbur thought with wide eyes. I pushed him over the edge.

The hero wasn’t quite processing what was happening.

“Okay,” he mumbled. “Okay.”

Quackity shook his head, his working eye wide as a saucer. “Wil, I’m sorry, I- I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. It- It was going to happen at some point, right?” Wilbur laughed, and it hurt his throat, a little. There was a lump growing there.

Under all the growing panic that bounced off the walls, the regret, frustration, and sorrow that pounded in the room, Wilbur managed to say, “The agency wouldn’t- wouldn’t like me to go home, though. I have to follow through with the mission.”

Quackity gawked at him, or just stared, or maybe he was glaring. He looked scared. He felt scared. Why are you so scared of me?

“Okay,” the vigilante breathed. “Yeah, I- one mission. One thing, and then we- we need to-”

“Part ways,” Wilbur finished for him bluntly with a smile that didn’t meet his eyes. “I get it.”

Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe this is how I get over him.

Nobody could get over him, he’s him. How could I ever do anything but love him?

Well, he certainly doesn’t love me.

Why now? Why did he get so close to me, help me heal, let me hold his hand if, in the end, he was just going to cut me off like this? Why wait?

Wilbur didn’t try to distract himself from the thoughts. He was drowning in them.

“We should get going, then,” Quackity murmured, turning to keep walking.

It’s funny that the room is absolutely vivid with heavy emotion, and yet the walls are such a dull grey that any normal person would be underwhelmed.

Wilbur was following him before he realized his feet were moving.

--

Amidst the endless halls and empty rooms, they found a room full of cabinets. A filing room. Shelves were filled wall-to-wall with drawers, packed tightly together as though only meant for one person to traverse at a time. They seemed to be empty, at first, but after some searching, Wilbur found some papers describing old heroes from many decades ago, old newspapers, and files with sharpied-out information nobody was allowed to see, apparently.

So, they searched the room.

“Can I ask why?” He mumbled as they looked, his voice low in the small space between shelves. He immediately got De-Ja-Vu from their first real meeting. Can I ask why you refused the invitation?

“Why what?” The vigilante hissed back.

You know what.

“Why now? What- what was it, exactly, that was the final straw?”

He had his back turned to Quackity, and Quackity to him, but the passage was small and he could still hear Quackity’s whispered reply that only echoed ever so slightly.

“Nothing. It was nothing, Wil, you just- this is dangerous.”

“It was dangerous before, too. What changed?”

He could almost sense unspoken words hanging on the tip of the vigilante’s tongue. “…nothing.”

“It can’t be nothing,” Wilbur hissed. “Isn’t there something? What is it, am I too loud? Too clingy? Do I just annoy you?”

“Wil, please,” Quackity breathed, and Wilbur felt a pang of guilt. Everything just seemed to hurt and ache, for Quackity, the air around him radiated sorrow. And I’m just pushing him further.

“There is nothing wrong with you,” the other spoke quietly, honestly. “Not a single thing. My- my reasons for this are complicated, okay? Please just stop. It’s for the best.”

“The best for me, or for you?”

There was a pregnant pause.

“You,” Quackity murmured. “It’s best for you. I promise that I don’t want to just up and leave any more than you do.”

Wilbur turned to look at the back of his head.

“Then don’t.”

The other did not reply.

-

Eventually, they came upon a storage room that actually held something. And quite a lot of something, as well.

It was filled with crates. Stacks and stacks of crates and boxes and barrels were ordered and sorted (and seemingly color-coded) for the convenience of whoever owned them. They walked between the crates, trying to find any inkling as to what was inside them.

Wilbur was trying to think up something else to say when he happened upon an open crate.

“Oh my god,” Wilbur breathed, gaping at the contents. “Q. Q, get over here.”

“What? What happened?” Quackity rushed over, leaning over the side of the box to peer inside.

Inside the crate was miniature bombs. Small silver landmines and grenades, bomblets, and dynamite.

“Who the hell is mass-producing bombs? Why are there so many?”

“Might be Nuclear. We could have found Gunpowder’s stash, but he would have much higher security. Honestly, anyone could mass-produce bombs like this with enough money, materials, and money.”

“They’re small, too. Why would someone make a bunch of tiny grenades instead of one big one? What’s the point?”

“A better question is what’s the plan,” Quackity murmured. “Hundreds of crates, packed with small bombs, enough to completely destroy multiple small buildings without a single wall untouched.”

“Or one large building,” Wilbur reasoned with a shudder.

“There has to be someone here,” Quackity whispered. “Or there was. This is just a storage house for their stuff, I- god, I hope it’s Nuclear. He at least has a semi-conscience.”

“He does?”

“The relationship between Nuclear and the vigilantes is… complicated,” Roulette mumbled. “We tolerate him.”

“You helped arrest him once,” Wilbur murmured.

“But he always gets out, and you can thank Vinyl for that. So it didn’t really matter.”

It didn’t really matter.

Quackity continued to look through the room at all the crates, trying to figure out which boxes held which explosives. Wilbur stood to the side, next to his own crate, thinking.

“If a mob boss comes around that corner there,” Wilbur began with raised eyebrows, “Are you going to help fight? Or will you step back and let me get hurt?”

Quackity shook his head. “We’ve been over this.”

“It started that fight, I know. The one before the night you brought me painkillers. Do you remember the night in the med bay?”

“Wilbur,” Quackity warned.

“I misunderstood the situation, I think,” Wilbur continued, not stopping for the comfort of anyone. “I thought maybe you were my way out. You had me convinced, for a moment, that you cared about all my family angst or some shit. You sacrificed your safety, back then, to get to me.”

“I did,” Quackity sighed.

“So, I’ll ask again.”

“Don’t. Wilbur, for the love of God, we’ve been over this.”

“What changed?”

“Is this what you’re going to do now?!” Quackity screamed, whipping around. “You’re just going to pester me until you get what you want? What do you even want from me? You want my dignity, you want my mask? You want my blood?”

“I want an answer,” Wilbur said, trembling.

“And I already told you that I can’t tell you! The entire reason I’m doing this is that I can’t tell you anything and it hurts!” Quackity shook his head and rubbed his eyes. “You’re supposed to be the one who can read emotions, or whatever. Why don’t you see that you need to leave me alone? Why can’t you see this is hurting me?” He pulled his hands away from his face and glared at the hero. “Or maybe you can, and you’re so fucking immature that you just don’t care.”

He stared for one more long moment, waiting for a reply. Wilbur was stunned into silence.

Just then, the alarm went off.

Both of them flinched as a blaring siren struck through the storage room, lights flashing red for moments at a time.  

Quackity spun to face the hero again.

“I didn’t do anything, I swear,” Wilbur rushed, but the vigilante ran past him, grabbing his arm to drag him out of the facility.  

“Shut up,” he hissed over the siren. Wilbur did as he was told.

--

Quackity practically dragged him out of the building.

“Oh my god. Why would the alarm take that long to set off? Why did none of the doors lock? Nobody even showed up yet- this place’s security is shit!” Quackity rambled as they made their way through the halls, eventually bursting through the entrance.

They fast-walked down the sidewalk, probably looking very confusing to the wandering stranger (a vigilante dragging a hero out of an abandoned facility doesn’t really look the best,) and stopped in an alleyway.

Vans parked outside, and the two people in hiding heard voices shouting to check inside.

“They are pretty slow to get here, yeah,” Wilbur mumbled. “Maybe there are different facilities they have to guard or something.”

They peered from around the corner as people came in and out, shouting various affirmations of it doesn’t look like anyone was here!

It would be more accurate to say Quackity was the one looking around the corner- Wilbur was further back, watching the back of the vigilante’s head.

“I can feel you glaring at me,” Quackity murmured.

“I’m not glaring,” Wilbur said softly.

Quackity turned to meet his eyes.

Outside, away from the stuffy facility and under stars again, Wilbur thought he felt a little clearer.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I really am. I just- you’re in a lot of pain, and I- that’s why I don’t understand why you’re doing this. If it doesn’t even benefit anyone, I-“

“Please don’t,” Quackity murmured, voice finally breaking. “Why- why can’t you just be an asshole? I liked you better like that. When you get all sweet on me, I can’t- you always have to make it so hard.”

“Q,” Wilbur cut him off, speaking as gently as possible. “Are you okay?”

Quackity gaped at him for a long moment, before slowly bringing his hand up and pressing his palm into his eye.

“…Why are you doing that?”

“Because if I move my hand, I’ll start crying, you stupid- stupid- Fuck! Fuck you!”

“Oh, Q, no no no-” Wilbur rushed forward to… do something? Anything? His hands hovered awkwardly over the vigilante’s wrist, trying not to startle him. “Q, don’t cry. Don’t do that.”

“I will! I’m gonna! Because this is all fucking pathetic,” Quackity spat, still managing to use his hostility as defense while on the verge of tears. “You don’t get to be pushy and make me feel bad and then be sweet and make me feel worse, that is not allowed to get to me so much! I didn’t even last one day, oh my god.”

Quackity slowly removed his hand from his eye, blinking and scowling, testing to see whether he’d break. Wilbur watched with bated breath.

“I didn’t even last a day,” Quackity whispered, letting his hands drop. “Fuck me.”

“I don’t want to bother you,” Wilbur mumbled, “But I don’t know what’s going on.”

Quackity saw the hero leaning down a little, raising his hands as if trying to calm him in some way. He smiled for a moment. “You used to say people were allowed to keep their secrets. What happened to that?”

“You’re allowed to keep secrets as long as you’re not hurting anyone,” Wilbur clarified. “And you’re hurting both of us.”

Quackity narrowed his eyes at the ground.

“I’m sorry I keep pushing you,” Wilbur continued. “I’m worried about you. I’m upset for myself, yeah, but I’m- I’m worried about you, too.”

“Neither of us is very good at this,” Quackity sighed. “I lasted about three hours before I almost cried. I literally can’t be away from you. It’s awful.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop that, stop apologizing,” Quackity snapped, leaning against a wall and sliding down until he sat on the floor. “You haven’t done a single thing wrong.”

Wilbur, without even thinking about it, sat next to him. “You keep saying that. But it's a lie.”

“Kind of. You're a little bit of a dick sometimes, when you're frustrated. I was too.”

“We were both dicks today?”

“Yeah.”

Wilbur huffed, thinking.

“You pushed me away to protect me, right?”

“Bingo.”

Wilbur leaned his head against the concrete behind him. “You shouldn't have to.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry I have pride issues.”

“I’m sorry I have trust issues.”

“You shouldn’t have to apologize for that.”

“You shouldn’t have to apologize for that.”

Wilbur blinked at him. “But I should apologize for the way I talked to you, though.”

Quackity gave a bittersweet grin. “And I, you.”

Wilbur could feel himself smiling against his will. “I think you do this thing,” he muttered. “Where you think you’re hurting someone when you’re not, and so you hurt them more to make them go away.”

“You didn’t go away.”

“I’m not sure I can. I think I’m doomed to be near you for the rest of my life.”

“Well, I’m sorry for that,” Quackity chuckled. “If I can’t force you away… I guess I’ll just try to make your stay as painless as possible.”

“Thank you for that, starshine,” Wilbur replied. They both laughed, quietly, in the dead of night, underneath the stars that shone down on them as if they’d never gone away.

I can’t tell him I love him right now, Wilbur thought, but maybe- if I’m patient, and I wait for a better time- just maybe I can say it, sometime soon.

Wilbur held his hand out. Quackity took it.  

For tonight, I think I’ll be content.

“This is dangerous,” Quackity murmured.

“If you protect me, I’ll protect you.”

“…okay, pretty boy.”

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[ariparri]

This drawing was inspired by a story my friend cursedautumn wrote for me as her part of our usual story for art trade.

It's been so long since I've drawn something in this style, I was scared I was going to give up half way through the entire thing. But nope, I was quite ambitious and pulled through 9 hours to finish this piece!

Look at that! It's absolutely beautiful 😭 I can stare at this and be so damn proud of it all day!

Speaking of the story, you can read it here under the cut. Flowers may be my absolute favorite from autumn's stories, but this was just too cute. I just adore the father/daughter dynamic Veruca and Elroy have.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His Princess

"Alrighty, I'm leaving." Wilhelmina kissed Elroy on the cheek and took the bag. “I'll be there in the evening, don't wait for me early. I left a list of products that Vera needs to be fed. Are you sure you can handle it?"

"You underestimate me," Elroy growled, jokingly offended. "Veruca will be fine, I'm a fully capable father, Wil. Go and have a good rest, you'll see when you come back, the house will shine, and the child will have the tenth dream." Wilhelmina smiled dryly and rolled her eyes. "You're the same as always. Well, I'm off."

With that, she opened the door and went out. Elroy watched her go for a while until she disappeared behind the fence, then closed the door and took a deep breath. Elroy McQuaid was a father of two children, but, frankly, he had already forgotten what it was like to stay all day with a small child. Coby had grown up a long time ago, now he was at Hogwarts (where, by the way, he recently received an indignant letter from Minerva McGonagall about his son's behavior), and little Veruca did not want to sit still and quickly came up with entertainment for herself: she rolled away from her father, turning over from her back to her stomach, then, on the contrary, crawled up to him and began pulling his hair or stubble. Elroy didn't mind, but he couldn't let his daughter roll around on the floor all day and pinch him! He had to think of something to do. So he picked up Veruca in his arms and spoke,  "What should we do? We're going to play with toys, aren't we, baby?"

"Yes!" Veruca said glibly. She didn't know how to speak yet, but she already knew words like "yes", "not", "ma", "pa" and "Co-i" (that is, Coby). Elroy was infinitely proud of his daughter; Wilhelmina took it much more calmly and even laughed at his constant delight. Elroy was slightly offended: "How can you, Wil? She talks great for her age!", but there were no big quarrels because of this, and he understood that his wife showed love for her daughter in a slightly different way.

As soon as she was in her room, Veruca clung tightly to a wooden box filled to the brim with toys. There were dolls, plush toys, a plastic tea set, with which the baby sometimes gently beat her older brother, several suits with bat wings and many other means of entertainment. Elroy watched in silence as she turned over the wooden box, and sighed to himself: later he would have to take a long and painstaking time to clean up the mess that his daughter had made. But he obediently waited until all the contents of the box were on the floor, and smiled, "Come on, Vera, choose what we will play."

Veruca thought for a while and a soft bat colored so bright it was slowly eating out Elroy's eyes. This bat was given to the McQuaid family by friends a few years ago, and at first Coby played with it, and then it was taken away from him by his younger sister. Veruca took it out at every opportunity and forced the first family member she met to entertain her, holding her in their hands and "butting" the girl with a toy. Elroy didn't have much choice right now. He asked, "Are we going to play this?"

"Yes!" Veruca nodded. She had the same light green eyes as Elroy, like clear, transparent water.

"All right," he agreed. "I'll butt you. Come on…" Suddenly, he quickly grabbed the toy and began to gently poke his daughter in the face. Veruca burst into a ringing childish laugh, trying to grab a bat, and randomly waved her plump hands in the air. Elroy poked the toy first on her cheek, then in her stomach, then in her shoulder, and she laughed and made futile attempts to outwit dad and catch her pet. At that moment, Veruca strangely reminded Elroy of a young Wilhelmina, just as cheerful, laughing happily, not yet so strict and upset by the behavior of her growing son. Actually, Veruca was much more like her father, but there was already something about her that made her obviously the daughter of Wilhelmina McQuaid.

After playing with the bat, Veruca lost interest in it and took up a book of fairy tales written by the bard Beadle. Of course, it was still too early for her to read them, but the bright pictures on the glossy paper attracted the eye, and the baby ran her finger along the pages with genuine interest, looking questioningly at Elroy, as if asking what was depicted here. Most of all, she was interested in pictures of beautiful queens, princesses and sorceresses, women with long hair, dressed in dresses, robes and heavy jewelry. The girl especially liked the drawing of Morgan Le Fay, a tall red-haired woman with light green eyes, in a white dress. Veruca poked at it with her finger and hooted. 

"This, baby, is Morgan Le Fay. She was a very outstanding sorceress, healer and fortune-teller. The sorcerers bewitched people, Vera, they are also wizards, it's just that their magic was different. And Morgan was both a sorceress and a witch. It's complicated, isn't it?" Elroy explained, to which Veruca frowned and turned away, indicating that she was not interested in this topic. She always did this when she did not understand what was being said to her, but she did not want to show her ignorance — it hurts her pride so much!

And even though Veruca was still a very little girl, she had pride. This pleased Elroy: if self-confidence and healthy pride are inherent in a person from childhood, nothing will knock them out of there. So let his daughter be proud. It was better to have pride than not to have it, his sister had once told him, and Elroy completely agreed with her.

Suddenly, his daughter turned over on her stomach and, starting to turn over slowly, rolled in the opposite direction from him. Elroy was so surprised that he didn't even understand what was happening, and he stared at Veruсa with his mouth open for a few seconds, and then he realized that the typical willfulness of the McQuaids had awakened in her, and she decided to try to move herself. Attempts to "escape" have occurred before, but Wilhelmina, with the air of a connoisseur, assured that this is normal and there is no need to interfere with the child's self-development.

"Veruca!" Elroy called out to his daughter.

"Ah!" she answered him and giggled, once again turning over on her stomach. "Vera," the man said more quietly. "Where are you going?" Veruca smiled with an almost toothless mouth and giggled louder. Elroy sighed loudly and got to his feet to put the mischievous girl back in her place.

Suddenly, Veruca reached out with a tiny hand and grabbed the leg of a chair. She tensed, slightly lifting the body and pulling her legs under her.

And then she began to get up — in the literal sense, to get to her feet, holding tightly to the leg of the chair, as if for a handrail, and finally straightened up and stood up, swaying slightly. Elroy froze in mute amazement, joy and disbelief, watching his little daughter, his princess, stand on her feet for the first time, and was afraid to even sigh and break the great moment. This feeling was even brighter than what he had experienced when Coby first got on his feet, much, much brighter, although Elroy did not want to admit it to himself.

It seems that Veruca was afraid of her own independence and the next second fell on the carpet and began to cry. Elroy was at his daughter's side in the blink of an eye and hastily picked her up in his arms, saying affectionately:

"Don't cry, Vera, don't cry, my princess, everything will be fine, you're a good girl. Look, you got up for the first time today, can you imagine?" and he kissed the top of her head, stroking her back. Veruca's crying wasn't caused by pain or anything worse, it's just that she hardly expected such sharp physical progress from herself.

So he patiently calmed her down until the girl stopped crying and wearily buried her face in her father's shirt.

"Do you want to sleep?" Elroy asked gently. "Let's go sit outside. It started raining there, we'll swing in the chair, listen to the weather…"

They did just that. Elroy went out onto the terrace. There he sat down in a wicker rocking chair with Veruca in his arms and was quiet; a summer downpour was really rustling on the green street and in the garden. The storm swelled over the McQuaid estate, rallying in the sky in a dense purple wall, ready to crack and burst into lightning. But while there were no loud noises, Elroy held the sleeping Veruca, wrapped in a plump purple blanket with a bat's face, in his arms and looked at the blooming garden. There was an unusual calmness in his soul, although, in general, there was no cause for alarm; nevertheless, such satisfaction in his soul had not been for a long time-maybe because he was the father of two children, the eldest of whom was now supplying his school with problems, and the youngest was still very small and helpless, like a porcelain doll. They had to look after both of them, and it was difficult for him and Wilhelmina. Very difficult.

Elroy kissed the top of Veruca's head as she dozed off. No, he was grateful to his wife, Providence, and himself a million times for his daughter, because since his youth his dream was to have a daughter, his little princess, just like from fairy tales. As a child, he saw how carefully his father treats his sister, and just dreamed of doing the same.

And now he had Veruca.

His little girl.

His princess.

Elroy wrapped his daughter more tightly in the blanket and began to doze a little himself. The storm did not break out with thunder and lightning, only the rain began to rustle more loudly, and somewhere on the horizon a rainbow began to appear, as if the sky was watching the father and daughter and letting a bright ray through the summer rainy haze.

The rainbow was flaring up. Elroy and Veruca were sleeping peacefully.

[curewhimsy]

Vocal Synth Total Drama Island AU Concept (so far)

———Very Short Character Introductions——— (56 campers in all, aged 14-18) Haku Yowane- A sweet, lonely, sensitive girl with a lot of heart. Age 17. Neru Akita- A courageous tomboy who is misunderstood. Age 17. Miku Hatsune- A bubbly, cheerful, outgoing girl with a lot of friends. Age 15. Luka Megurine- An artistic girl who has a bit of anxiety. Good friends with Meiko. Age 18. Teto Kasane- A bubbly, cheerful girl with an unexpected temper and badass side. Age 15. Megumi “Gumi”- A bit shy, but underneath, she is very brave and resourceful. Age 16. Meiko Sakine- The Mom Friend. Confident and likes to help people. Age 18. Momo Momone- The nicest girl, to the point of being a pushover… Age 15. Rin Kagamine- Unhinged gremlin sibling 1. Loves causing mayhem. Age 14. Len Kagamine- Unhinged gremlin sibling 2. Loves causing chaos. Age 14. Eleanor Forte- The mean girl and drama queen. Cause of lots of drama. Age 17. Kaito Shion- The dorky boy who always has a cheesy smile on his face. Age 17. Akaito Shion- The moody playboy. More serious than Kaito, but bad-tempered. Age 18. Koto Fuuga- Nature girl. Knows all about bird calls, animal behavior, and more. Age 16. Taya Soune- An extremely polite guy. Always dresses formally. Always. Age 15. Ruko Yokune- Despite her height and quirky love of coffee, quite level-headed. Age 15. Ritsu Namine- Loud and obnoxious, but has a caring and wise side? Age 15. Merli Aoki- A snobby, pretentious girl. Not Like Other Girls. Age 17. Lapis Aoki- Mischievous and up to trouble. Merli’s sister. Age 15. Gakupo Kamui- He’s… just strange. And eccentric. And awkward. Age 17. Miku “Zatsune”- A wannabe goth. Basically, she’s in training. Thinks she’s edgy. Age 15. Uta “Defoko” Utane- A sarcastic, moody teenage girl. But she does have a sweet side. Age 15. Dell Honne- Haku’s grumpy, angsty half brother she hasn’t seen in years. Age 18. Yuuma- The popular boy. Eleanor likes him. Can be materialistic. Age 18. Dandy “704”- A very arrogant and vain guy. Quite selfish and loves to show off. Age 18. “Lady” Parsec- A commanding bully who demands and orders people around. Age 17. Yuu- A cheerful guy who likes parties and fun. Age 16. Wil- A somewhat quiet, mysterious guy who keeps to himself. Age 16. Kyo- A wild guy who is impulsive and kind of dumb. Age 16. Daina- Basically, she’s a furry. Her fursona is a fox. Age 17. Dex- Basically, he’s a furry. His fursona is a wolf. Age 17. Ruby- A girl who likes memes and is basically just vibing through life. Age 16. Yukari Yuzuki- A modest girl who has a crush on Ruby. Easily impressed. Age 16. Shian- An innocent girl who is also quick-tempered and pouts easily. Age 14. Muxin- A kind, knowledgeable boy. He loves history and astronomy. Age 14. IA- A bit mysterious and seems cold and expressionless. Age 16. Piko Utatane- Shy, quiet, and cold. Gets along with Muxin due to similar interests. Age 15. Genbu- Overly-enthusiastic and brash. A bit of a loudmouth. Age 18. Chiyu- Bold, brash, and brave. Kind-hearted and strong. Age 17. Haiyi- Talks a lot. Usually has something up her sleeve. A prank perhaps? Age 16. Leeds Kasumiga- A timid girl with a mysterious heart illness that inhibits her. Age 14. Mew- A real goth, unlike Zatsune, who is a goth-in-training. Age 18. Tei Sukone- A dastardly, manipulative villain who fools people, then bites. Age 16. Cider- A smug, self-absorbed inventor of elaborate but stupid inventions. Age 17. Bruno- An agreeable, outgoing guy who likes spreading good vibes. Age 18. Clara- Bruno’s girlfriend. A little bit timid, but always kind and optimistic. Age 17. Aku Yamine- Quiet and a bit melancholic. She’s… a different type of goth. Emo? Age 14. Lily- A tough high-school delinquent who stands up for the weak. Age 17. Amy- Cheerful, optimistic, yet quite chill. Doubts herself often however. Age 16. Chris- He might be a big guy, but he is quite shy and very gentle. Age 18. Kaori- She seems confident and bright on the outside, but hides sadness? Age 17. Ken- He’s talkative, smart, kind of a dork, but very focused and brave. Age 17. Iroha Nekomura- Innocent and sweet, but agile, with cat-like reflexes. Age 14. SeeU- Energetic, hyperactive, makes bad puns, silly, makes bad puns… Age 16. Kiyoteru Hiyama is the host of the game show. Big Al is in the role of Chef. ——Episodes——— Prologue 1- Introduction to concept. Characters see the advertisement for the game show and contemplate going on it. The winner gets a million dollars! Prologue 2- Introduction to characters via their audition videos, part 1. Kiyoteru chooses contestants. Prologue 3- Introduction to characters via their audition videos, part 2. Kiyoteru chooses contestants. Episode 1- Everyone arrives at Total Drama Island and meets each other. Some get along, and many clash. Notable big-drama-causers include Tei, Eleanor, Dandy, Parsec, Cider, Merli sometimes, and Zatsune sometimes. Koto, Genbu, Ritsu, Haiyi, Daina, and Dex stick out for being especially wild. But really, everyone’s unique personality contributes to the drama and pot of chemistry in their own way. Another camper who sticks out is Gakupo Kamui, who enthusiastically boasts about his skills in martial arts and how ready he is to win Total Drama Island. He begins to get on the nerves of the other campers. “I can out-run, out-kick, out-sing, out-wit, and even out-PISS anybody else here.” Gakupo says. “Well, can you do us a favor and GET-out?” Meiko says. Episode 2- Campers have to jump off a one thousand-foot cliff into a shark-infested lake. Then they have to pull some crates back to camp, and the team from before with the most people who jumped get carts to help them. Then they have to build a hot tub from material found in the crates. The team with the best hot tub wins the challenge. The campers who were too scared to jump off the cliff have to wear chicken costumes for the rest of the day. Despite his incessant bragging previously, Gakupo is one of the few campers who does not jump off the cliff, because it is revealed he is scared of heights, sharks, AND deep water! He even pisses himself and dramatically faints when he gets close to the edge of the cliff... and then he faints off the cliff! However, his jump isn’t accounted for, because Gakupo was not conscious during his fall. Luka has to be the one to jump in after and rescue him! This causes Gakupo of The Dangerous Dolphins to be the first campter voted off. “Well… I guess he was right about out-pissing everyone here.” Neru laughs. The other campers too scared to jump are Taya, Dandy, Eleanor, Clara, Muxin, Chris, and Kaito. Haku is at first too scared, but her best friend Neru encourages her to be brave. They jump together and yell funny things on the way down. Even though Eleanor is scared, she ends up going over anyway after Chiyu pushes her off the cliff, being sick of Eleanor’s arrogance. However, it isn’t even accounted for, because Eleanor did not jump by her own will. Clara is too frightened and doesn’t make the jump, which is surprising, because she was so enthusiastic before. However, her boyfriend Bruno jumped without her… Taya takes one look down the cliff and starts backing away, crying from fear. He feels ashamed that he’s so scared, but he cannot help it. He gets pats on the back from Clara. Dandy makes an excuse as to why he can’t jump. He says he has an open wound from a fencing accident. In reality, Dandy does not fence. Muxin is too scared, but asserts that he doesn’t have to jump off the cliff if he doesn’t want to, and that the challenge is ridiculous. He then comforts Taya, who is curled up sobbing, and tells him not to feel shame. Taya and Muxin become friends, but sadly are on different teams. Chris is too scared and actually starts crying too. People don’t expect it. Kaito is scared to jump, panics and makes a bit of a scene, and is then picked on and belittled by his brother Akaito for the rest of the day. Kaito then vows he will become braver from here on. Braver, and stronger! Leeds actually does jump from the cliff, but it causes her heart to become weak and she has trouble walking for the rest of the day. Some of the members on her team rudely deem her a nuisance, but others tell her to take it easy and understand her. Afterwards, Clara gets a bit sour at Bruno, who is her boyfriend, for jumping the cliff without noticing she was too scared. Koto jumps the cliff and she actually has fun. But afterwards, she wears a chicken suit anyway, because she loves birds. Episode 3- The challenge is to stay awake the longest in the "Awake-A-Thon" after running twenty-kilometers and eating a huge meal that includes turkey, which is known for making people sleepy. Dell of The Killer Porpoises gets voted off for falling asleep first. He generally has a bad attitude and is apathetic. Haku feels heartbroken because Total Drama Island was the first time she had seen Dell since her parents’ divorce (by complete chance, even,) and he is not the warm person he used to be. Also, the time was so short. But unexpectedly, Dell acts nice to Haku right before he leaves, calling her to his room when he’s packing to go off the island. They have a nice conversation. Before Haku says goodbye, Dell says “Listen, I’m just not cut out for this wacky game. So you better win. I KNOW you can do it.” Haku begins crying and hugs Dell. Just like when they were kids. There will eventually be a list of who falls asleep first to last, but that’s quite convoluted. So I will say Dell falls asleep first, and Ruko second. Campers were not allowed to drink coffee during the challenge, rendering our Long Sleeper without access to her “secret weapon.” Koto stays up the longest, because she is a bird lover and loves birds too much to consume them. She was the only one who didn’t eat any turkey with her meal, and therefore didn’t become as sleepy. Also simply because she is badass and feral. Episode 4- A best-of-five dodgeball game. Five people are randomly chosen on each team. This is repeated three times for a total of three rounds of dodgeball. The Dangerous Dolphins win 2 out of 3 games. Zatsune of The Killer Porpoises gets voted off for being scared of dodgeball. It was a fear ingrained into her from her elementary school days, when the “dodgeball kids would bully her.” Sadly, since Zatsune always acts so cocky, nobody feels much sympathy now. Taya and Muxin want to spend time with each other. Being on different teams, they can’t, and are deemed traitors. But when Tei, on Taya’s team, suggests Taya could get valuable information about the other team via Muxin, Taya refuses to sabotage their friendship. This causes Tei to begin picking on Taya… Episode 5- A three-on-three talent show contest. Dex of The Killer Porpoises gets voted off for no reason. He wasn’t even in the talent show! Dandy wanted to get chosen by his team, the Dangerous Dolphins, to be in the talent show, claiming his “talent” was unmatched. However, he wasn’t chosen because he didn’t exactly have any real actual skills despite his claim! Taya, Luka, and Gumi are eventually chosen by the Dangerous Dolphins for their talents in music. Luka will play piano, Taya will play the violin, and Gumi will play the electric bass as they all sing a song cover. This causes Dandy to criticize their every note and call them amateur. Given Taya and Gumi’s low self-esteem, Dandy’s criticism gets to them before the final talent show. As for the Killer Porpoises, Yuuma, Ritsu, and IA get chosen as the team’s musicians. They form more of an idol dance group, with a pre-recorded background track. (It will also be a cover.) The Dangerous Dolphins actually win. If they were to have lost, Dandy would’ve probably been the one voted off for being a prick. Episode 6- Campers have to go to the forest, stay out there overnight, then race back to the campgrounds in the morning. Yukari of the Killer Porpoises gets voted off. See, it wasn’t really Yukari’s fault, but… she got attacked by a bear and is now too injured to stay for the game, so the voting off was mandatory, even though the Killer Porpoises otherwise won. Everyone becomes more-or-less traumatized at this, and feel very hurt for Yukari. Episode 7- Campers have to face their worst fear, specific to each camper. Yuuma gets voted off. Koto’s worst fear is the perfume department from Spongebob, because that scene scarred her as a little kid. So the host of the game show, Kiyoteru, magically opens a door to the perfume department at a real department store and Koto has to walk through it. Koto only makes it 5 steps in before she runs out, screaming. She does not pass her fear test! Yuuma is scared of the Crab Rave because there are too many crabs. So he is taken to a part of the island overrun by crabs, and Kiyoteru turns on the Crab Rave song and they all start dancing. Yuuma dives into the water screaming. But the crabs chase him. He doesn’t pass his fear test. Taya attempts to outwit Kiyoteru and pretends he is afraid of strawberry shortcake, which is actually his favorite food. But everyone remembers how scared he was in the first challenge at the cliff. So Taya’s specific challenge is to jump off the cliff this time… Episode 8- Row a canoe to Boney Island, portage across the island, start a bonfire, and canoe back to camp. Wil gets voted off. Episode 9- Hunt the other team dressed as deers with paintball guns, or if one is a deer, avoid being hit by them. Piko gets voted off. Episode 10- Create a three-course meal for Kiyoteru to judge. Three chefs are chosen from each team. Miku gets voted off. Episode 11- Participate in a set of three-out-of-five trust exercises. Shian gets voted off. Episode 12- Make it through Big Al’s life-threatening and disgusting boot-camp challenges. IA gets voted off. Episode 13- Participate in three extreme sport challenges. The challenges are "sofa skydiving", riding a moose while avoiding being tossed off it, and water-skiing on mud. Lapis gets voted off. Episode 14- Eat a nine course meal of disgusting food made by Big Al. Drink shot glasses of blended cockroaches. Yuu gets voted off. Episode 15- Episode 16- Episode 17- Episode 18- Episode 19- Episode 20- Episode 21- Episode 22- Episode 23- Episode 24- Episode 25- Episode 26- Episode 27- Episode 28- Episode 29- Episode 30- Episode 31 Episode 32- Episode 33- Episode 34- Episode 35- Episode 36- Episode 37- Episode 38- Episode 39- Episode 40- Episode 41- Episode 42- Episode 43- After this challenge, the teams are disbanded. It’s now every camper for themself. Episode 44- Get through several rounds of torture, lasting at least ten seconds in each one. Eleanor gets voted off because she can’t take torture. Episode 45- Receive a clue to find a key hidden somewhere in the island to open a treasure chest containing a prize. Ritsu found a dud chest and his prize was… getting voted off. Episode 46- Avoid getting sprayed by Big Al’s water gun in a game of hide and seek. Parsec gets voted off. Good riddance! Episode 47- Build a bike from scratch, and then race it. Who rides who’s bike? Anyway, Dandy gets voted off. Probably because he’s 7 foot 4 and huge. He probably broke all the bikes. Episode 48- Watch a horror movie and then avoid being captured by a "deranged killer". Gumi gets voted off because she was scared. Episode 49- Catch the specific animal assigned by Kiyoteru and bring it back to the campground unharmed. Taya had to bring back a raccoon. He came back first. Koto had to bring back a bear. She came back second. What a total beast! And I’m talking about KOTO! Genbu had to bring back an eagle. He came back third. Leeds had to bring back a frog. She came back fourth. Kaito had to being back a squirrel. He came back fifth. Haku had to bring back a moose. She came back sixth. Tei gets sent off because she couldn’t bring back a mere chipmunk. The little chipmunk was trained in king-fu and ended up beating her up! Hooray! Episode 50- Compete in the following while handcuffed to one of the other campers: eat disgusting food with your hands behind your back while the person handcuffed to you feeds you, return a fragment of Haku’s cursed tiki idol to Boney Island, and assemble a totem pole with the wooden heads of the voted out campers in the order that they are eliminated. Taya gets voted off. Episode 51- Campers have to find Kiyoteru and Big Al after being washed away by a storm. Leeds gets voted off because her condition came to its worse. Her weak heart had finally failed on her and she suffered a heart attack. She was doing so good in the game despite her shortcomings, and will serve as an inspiration for many. Leeds will not die. She is in good hands. She will get top medical care. Now, a twist is revealed to the audience. Everyone who was voted off actually went to go to a beautiful island resort. The remaining campers still don’t know about this. When Leeds finally gets consciousness back, she finds she is in paradise. At first, she thinks she is dead. The room then fills up with everyone else voted off, and she begins crying. “They really killed you?” She cries. “No, Leeds!” Yukari says. “You’re alive! You made it… to Paradise Island!” Episode 52- An episode dedicated to the Island of Losers, which is actually a five-star island resort paradise. Yukari has fully recovered from her injuries. Gakupo and all the others who were eliminated early finally get their time to shine! The losers will also be involved in the episodes to come, as they will be the audience. Episode 53- The campers have to find their way back to camp after being left in the wild with limited supplies. Unexpectedly, our total beast, Koto Fuuga, comes back last. Rumors have it, this is because she found a bird sanctuary and got distracted. Episode 54- Survive a series of dares, given by the eliminated campers until someone drops out. Haku is forced to do something horrible by Tei. Tei dares Haku to joke around and portray offensive stereotypes. On national TV. She just can’t do it… She drops out, but not before insulting Tei to her face. But Kaito says Haku made the right choice. She sacrificed her chance to win a million dollars so that Tei didn’t have to force her to make a choice that could hurt people when they see it on TV. Kaito thinks Haku deserves an amazing consolation prize. Genbu respects Haku for this as well. Episode 55- The two remaining campers have to climb a pole and retrieve a flag, walk across a board on top of shark-infested waters while carrying an eagle's egg, and run a race to cross the finish line. Kaito is about to give up… but… There is ice cream at the finish line! Kaito makes a mad dash to the finish line and wins Total Drama Island!! Episode 56- Kaito won! But there is a twist. In order to actually win the million dollars, he has to find the a case containing the $1,000,000 and bring it to the Dock of Shame before anyone else does! This is a race between him and all the other campers! If any of the other campers being it to the Dock of Shame before Kaito, there will be a whole second season of Total Drama Island, and Kaito will have to win all over again before he gets his million dollars… ———Teams——— ———The Dangerous Dolphins——— Taya Chiyu Meiko Kyo Koto Tei Momo Neru Akaito Clara Gakupo Gumi Shian Dandy Luka Merli Daina Haiyi Lily Len Amy Ken SeeU Cider Teto Haku Uta ———The Killer Porpoises——— Yuuma Zatsune Mew Eleanor Ruby Dell Kaito Ruko Ritsu Wil Leeds Genbu Dex Bruno Iroha Miku Piko IA Chris Kaori Yuu Parsec Rin Lapis Yukari Aku Muxin ———Notable relationships——— Familial- Akaito and Kaito are brothers. Lapis and Merli are adoptive sisters. Haku and Dell are half-siblings who don’t live together, and haven’t seen each other in years before Total Drama Island. Rin and Len are twin siblings. Haku and Miku are cousins. Amy and Chris are cousins. Kaori and Ken are twin siblings, yet distant. They didn’t grow up in the same household. Ruko has a close cousin named Rook, who isn’t on TDI. Momo has an older brother, Momotaro, who isn’t on TDI. Uta has a younger sister, Koe, and two older brothers, Hibiki and Kanade, who aren’t on TDI. Teto has an older brother, Ted, who isn’t on TDI. Leeds has an older brother, Loop, who isn’t on TDI. Yukari has a little sister named Akari who isn’t on TDI. IA has a little sister named One who isn’t on TDI. Friendship- Miku, Rin, Len, and Luka have been a group of friends before TDI Haku and Neru were best friends before TDI Dex and Daina were best friends before TDI Momo, Teto, and Uta were best friends before TDI Ruko meets Ritsu and they become best friends Taya and Muxin become unlikely friends, despite being on different teams Romance- Bruno and Clara were dating before TDI Teto and Momo’s friendship eventually becomes romance. Haku meets Luka and they form a budding romance Amy meets Kaori and they form a budding romance Taya meets Uta and they form a budding romance Muxin meets Piko and they form a budding romance Lily meets Gumi and they form a budding romance Crushes- Len has always a crush on Miku. Tei has an obsessive crush on Kaito. Yukari has a crush on Ruby. Leeds has an embarrassing crush on Genbu. Eleanor has a crush on Yuuma. Ken has a crush on Chris. Dandy has a crush on Parsec. Akaito has a crush on Haku. Zatsune has a crush on Mew. She denies it. Gumi has a crush on IA. Dislike- Dandy and Cider always fight… with a weird sort of tension. Akaito and Uta don’t get along Miku Zatsune and Miku Hatsune don’t get along Lily and Merli don’t get along (MORE COMING SOON)

[anarchy-and-piglins]

My depression: but what if suicidal Techno?

My muse: yes sir, right away sir!

So have some vent writing...

The first time Technoblade tried to kill himself he was maybe ten years old.

Like most bad choices it was spurred by nothing but curiosity. The overwhelming need to test the limits of the improbable, without a second glance as to whether knowing would make a difference or not.

It had whispered in his mind for years. You can not die, it had told him over and over. Until it was pressed solidly within his veins. Technoblade hadn't thought to question them at all. Despite the voices having a tendency to lie to him, gloat in his misery or trick him with falsehoods, there was an underlying certainty that this statement at least was true. Technoblade would never die, he knew.

Until he had sat on the floor in the living room one night, watching Phil rock Tommy on his lap. His tiny body shook with sobs as their father rubbed Tommy's back, fingers cradling tenderly through blonde hair. "It was just a nightmare," Phil had said. "We're all fine, promise. We're alive." But the words had done nothing to reassure the child.

Because Tommy was five years old and had dreamt his family died.

And Phil had told him that while everybody died eventually, it wouldn't be for a very long time yet.

Technoblade sat on the floor with Wilbur leaning against him, half-asleep as they had all been woken up by Tommy's nightmare, and had wondered which one was the truth.

So the next day he had waited until their father left to run an errand, until both his brothers had been distracted. And then Technoblade went into Phil's room and found a knife.

He brought it to the river that ran near their house and glanced at the rippling water. There was no fear inside him – no worry. It felt like Techno's very soul knew it wouldn't work. The voices confirmed this by telling him it was futile, taunting him to go through with it or begging him not to. Techno narrowed his eyes, walking into the water until it came up to his knees and holding out his arm.

In one quick motion he slid into the skin, following the curve of his elbow down towards his wrist.

Blood was swept away into the river while Techno stood there, tears brimming in his eyes from a mixture of pain and confusion. Minutes passed and he bled and bled and bled and then he got dizzy and he sat down on the soggy riverbank, still crying and bleeding.

Techno passed out and woke up what felt like hours later, the sun sat low in the sky.

He was covered in blood, the wound scabbed over with the dried remains of it. He hadn't died, though he felt in all ways as if he should have.

Standing up, he stumbled back to the house. Wilbur was in the living room, his face when Technoblade staggered inside became three shades paler. Techno dropped to his knees, feeling empty. He told Wil it was an accident. Told him that he had taken the knife to train with and had slipped up and hurt himself. He begged Wilbur not to tell their father.

Eventually, Wilbur agreed but made him promise to be more careful.

Technoblade nodded. Though it hadn't been the last time he tried, he became more careful about letting them see.

The river ran red five more times.

He drowned once, in Antarctica.

The ice had broken beneath Technoblade's feet and he had dropped beneath the surface in a blink's time. Cold water rushed into his mouth when he gasped and then it was in his eyes too, making it hard to see. Heavy furs became soaked in seconds, dragging him down deeper and Techno tried to swim but only found more ice, solid walls every way he tried to go. His lungs were bursting in his ribcage, tearing apart with the need for oxygen. It hurt worse than any war wound had.

Technoblade couldn't die.

He was left there, at the brink of some grand abyss that was denied for him and left him with the agony instead. After what felt like forever he managed to push through something inside him – a small chasm of power that resided within – and Technoblade punched through the sheet above him to claw at the sky again. Heaving himself onto the ground, he was left retching the excess water out of his body. Hypothermia had set in, sending pinpricks through every nerve but his flesh did not starve or wither.

Technoblade never dies, the voices cheered. A mantra that was starting to sound like a curse. The gift of a god turned into a damnation.

Technoblade stood on shaking legs and continued his way home.

He set the charges one by one, sloppy and without care.

There was poetic justice in this, he decided. This was a narrative conclusion that made sense. His brother blew up both L'Manberg and himself. Then Technoblade blew the city up as well.

So this simply was the logical next step.

If Technoblade could get his way, there would be nothing left come morning but a giant crater in the ground.

Instead, the explosives went off and ended the world that mattered without taking Techno down with it. He stared at the sky with pain in every limb that should have been torn off but stayed attached, with burns all over that should have killed him but wouldn't, and wondered how the simple act of dying could be this difficult. The voices were still audible – the only thing he could hear since his fractured eardrums were bleeding out his ears – and they admonished him for being naive enough to try still.

It would never allow him to die on anything but their terms.

("Take better care of yourself," somebody said.

"Don't go throwing yourself into danger for others," somebody said.

"Why did you protect me? You could have died!"

Technoblade wanted to tell them all that his life didn't matter like theirs did, but couldn't find the words.)

The anvil had broken his head open, splashed his brain matter into a million pieces before stitching it back together. When Quackity asked him how he had done it, Technoblade had laughed with a hollow heart.

He came home and found his nearest chest full of potions, digging through it for any sleeping pot he could find. Tommy was asking questions Techno easily brushed off, finding he couldn't care less why the kid was here. Heck, maybe he could keep the cabin. At least then all Techno's grinding wouldn't go to waste. Uncorking the first bottle, Technoblade downed it in three big swallows.

Then the next, and the next. A few more after. The world became dazed and muffled and Technoblade was tired. He just wanted to sleep. He wanted to go to bed and be left alone forever. Even in retirement, they would see fit to hunt him down, drag him to their mockery of a trail like an animal and sentence him without a jury.

And subjected him to an execution that some part of Technoblade might have been hoping would actually work. A death that would finally stick.

Not yet, it whispered in his mind, toxic and murky. Dragging him to the edge of unconsciousness as he slumped down on the floor feeling his pulse slow down to a faint whimper. It would not cease beating completely only because they would not allow it to, divine power kept the blood flowing. You can't die yet. You can never die.

Technoblade closed his eyes just to pretend he wouldn't wake up again.

When he did Phil was there. Some distant part of Techno felt the heat of sibling-typical annoyance towards Tommy. Clearly the kid had snitched on him. Gone and told dad, like he always said he would when he found Wilbur wrist-deep in the cookie jar.

Techno wanted to sob.

"Why did you do it?" Phil asked, with no anger or disappointment. Only sincere worry was reflected in his every gesture. It made regret swell in Techno's gut. He couldn't even die without hurting everybody around him.

He'd always keep hurting them.

"I don't know," he lied. Or maybe it was the truth. He wasn't sure anymore.

"Oh, Tech." Phil hugged him, the warmth not at all enough to waylay the numbness in Techno's soul but at least it was better than nothing. A little drop in the desert that was his confused emotions.

Techno clung to him and rubbed Phil's back, remembering the way Tommy had held onto their father over a decade ago. "I'm fine, promise. I'm alive."

Even if he'd rather not be.

Inside his ribcage, his heart continued beating.

[bidoofenergy]

pebble brain ranking

7. “oh yeah, you gonna cry?” listen this album has no skips. this song slaps, i just dont like it as much as the others. great opener though, i can totally picture this live and it would be amazing. i love the trumpets and the drums and the guitar is having so much fun. only thing i’d say is, compared to other songs on this album, it doesnt have the same kind of emotional intensity, which isn’t bad but that’s why it’s here.

6. “perfume” by now i’ve noticed the way the instrumentation quality has really picked up. the guitar and drums are more complicated than in are you alright? and i love it. i really love the assonance at the end of the first verse (”left your heart on standby/by the way he holds you/bet he serenades you/i can't really blame you”) it gives the verse such a fun rhythm. for me, this is a placement issue, it’s lower energy than “concrete” and doesn’t handle the drop well. definitely worth saving, in the end i’m glad it stayed. and the guitar solo (?) between the final chorus and the outro is exceptional. once again, they really picked up the instrumentation in this album. 

5. “model buses” i can TASTE the early 2010s in this. what a fun song! fuck boris johnson. i love the line “I'm sure that you break more than I make” because it’s true and i have so many people i want to yell that at. the fun little play with “up your own ass”/“puppet show” had me SCREAMING. can’t wait to yell/sing “you’re just scared, you’re just scared of the future”

4. “the fall” i wasn’t sure about this one when i first heard it. the chorus feels flat and low energy compared to the verses, which is a shame because those are the lines you have to scream. but then the guitar really kicks in and the breakdown makes me fucking ascend. maybe if the chorus had wilbur a little louder, it could’ve been better. it doesn’t ruin the song, just makes you hold on a little in anticipation.

3. “you’ll understand when you’re older” hey wil im almost 22 when do i get to understand? this song is such a vibe. i love the guitar every other line on the verse, it grounds the song and that’s needed with wilbur’s airy voice sweetly singing about an abusive relationship. once again, they’ve really picked it up with the instrumentation. the guitar CARRIES this song, especially the ending. love the repetitive melody as the song ends and then the dissonance interrupts that pattern, forcing the listener to stay present and not get lost. a metaphor perhaps?

2. “it’s all futile! it’s all pointless!” when wilbur soot first wrote this song, when he first recorded it, when he scraped it from ycgma, did he know? did he think? did he even dream that less than 2 years later he’d rerecord it and a million people would listen and love it it’s first day out? i loved that first version of iafiap for it’s lyrics (i’ll make a home in your gut/cause it’s somewhere warm to sleep”) and depression and that grungy sound of a white guy with a guitar and a laptop application audio mixer. lovejoy’s version is loud and happy and open, the perfect closing song for this album. i love sad boy indie music as much as the next mentally ill bitch, but i love recovering-depressed-kid indie music even more. 

1. “concrete” i knew this was my favorite from my first listen. i love the fun, bouncy rhythm this song has. i need to learn the lyrics so i can scream them as i jump around, full of emotion and life and a little bit of anger. it’s peak male manipulator music and i love it. the pre-chorus is my favorite part: the way the music cuts out and it’s just drums and wilbur’s slightly whiny voice, layered with himself. and then music comes back and we get those trumpets !! as it builds into the chorus. “concrete” has what lovejoy does best in the lyrics: short, precise storytelling and fun imagery and repetition that sends you bouncing and crashing down the song.

[happy-krystin-day]

You're 18, I'm 18. We're slowly watching each other grow up...

Hello, my bestie, my rock, my pearl, my sunshine! You're 18 now, oh my fucking god! It feels like we were just sharing a classroom together yesterday; now, we're kilometers away from each other, celebrating our own little universes--but please allow me to intertwine both of our worlds today. This is going to be a long post so brace yourself :)

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🌞What's up with me?🌞

Listen: Lorde - Stoned at the Nail Salon

I'm sure you wondered what happened to me when I took my longest break ever from the world and its obscurities, well, I was busy finding myself and reflecting on the things I did in the past... I feel like I have this responsibility to tell each and everyone of you that I abandoned about what happened to me during my inactivity, but I don't think I'm ready--and will ever be ready, at that--to share what went on inside my head. It was so weird. The feeling of being alone and shutting the world out. I mean, sure, I peek on social media here and there, but it mostly felt like I was looking at you guys from a distance and you all are extremely happy to be without me. I remember cold nights crying alone, scared of what's to come... Scared of what you will say when I come back... Scared that I no longer mean anything to every single person I formed a relationship with.

I want to share this journal entry I wrote about a weird dream I had during my isolation:

Pretty intense, right? It's the first time I ever had such a symbolic dream. Can you believe early-August Matthew was thinking of peacing out for real?! I'm so happy I came back. I'm so happy to be doing great. I'm so happy that I no longer cry at night. I'm so happy. I want to be like this forever--happiness is so hard to find nowadays. Our world seems to be continuously loving the feeling of pain, of despair--but I think it's time we switch it up. We always joke about my return as a 'Live, Laugh, Love era', but I think a little optimism won't harm anyone. I want you to be the same, Krystin. I want you to be happy, to look forward to things, to not overthink situations, to have peace of mind. Because to me, you're intensely precious, and I want people I cherish to feel the blast of being happy--because you absolutely deserve it more than I ever will. When I came back, I immediately messaged you. I've been thinking about that for a long time--"When I come back, I want to talk to Krystin first... I want to apologize to her for disappearing--for leaving her." I'm sure you were surprised, no doubt. Sorry! I feel like a million sorries will never ever be enough to make it up to you. That's why, from now on, I will continue on living my life, with you. I don't care whether you'll come to hate or abandon me, too. I will always be here.

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🎈Growing Up🎈

Listen: Lorde - Ribs

Now that that's out of the way, it's time to celebrate your existence.

What better way to start than this amazing video I caught during g8 field trip 😭

Yeah, isn't it so crazy that we're already 18?! You're 18, I'm 18. We're slowly watching each other grow up... I'm actually going to cry. I can't believe that 2 years--2 FUCKING YEARS--have gone by. We were robbed. I hope that this nasty pandemic goes away the soonest as possible so we can make more amazing memories with each other. During my inactivity, I listened to Lorde's Pure Heroine album a lot. I was particularly addicted to Ribs. I took the line, "You're the only friend I need" quite seriously as I think about you. That song is all about growing up. I played it every time I think of not wanting to grow up, quite ironic isn't it? I hope that as we continue to expand our worlds, may we never forget the wonder of combining ours together. I hope that when we're adults, we are still as close as ever. We still have that unbreakable bond. I hope that even if there will be challenges that will test our friendship, may we overcome them together. I hope that you will always depend on me on things you can't figure out yourself, and I hope that I will always depend on you on things I can't figure out myself. I hope that we continue to 'Share beds like little kids', and may that always be more than enough.

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🐶The skies are Grae🐶

Listen: Lorde - Big Star

I can only imagine how hard it is for you to celebrate your 18th birthday without Grae. I'm sure you're still crying every time you think of him. I will probably make you cry with this one (advanced apologies!). My stand on this, however, will never change: it's not your fault that Grae is gone, so stop blaming and being so hard on yourself. I started to treasure Grae's existence the moment you called me the night you were embracing him. I never really thought much of him when he was still alive. I just thought that he's extremely active, so energetic--kind of reminds me of Clyde. But when I saw you weeping beside him, I started to realize how much he means to you. I started to question myself, "What can I do?" I started to also cherish the things you cherish. I wish I could've spent more time with Grae. I wish I had the courage to at least touch him. I wish I learned how to bond with him the same way you did.

When Solar Power first came out and when I listened to the record for the very first time, I shed tears on this song on the album called Big Star. Something about the melody is so friendly yet so painful. The lyrics, I thought, were all about this certain person Ella misses, but when I read these, my heart sank.

I'm sure wherever Grae is now, he's watching you and cheering you on. I mean, it's the most logical thing to think about, considering how cheerful he always seems to be when he sees you--he will always be your Big Star.

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🌟Thank you🌟

Listen: Lorde - Perfect Places

I was crying when I told you about the harassment I encountered when I got my buzzcut. It was the first time I felt powerless over those kind of people. I remember when we spent the night at your grandmother's house, when a group of boys challenged my courage--I fought them, I stood up for myself even though I felt like I shouldn't have done so. Back then, I was so fierce. That's why when I wasn't able to fight the people at that barber shop, I questioned myself. I felt weak, how am I going to fight for you if I can't fight for myself? I was so disappointed in myself. But then you called me and everything changed. I figured out that it shouldn't always be me that is going to stand up for myself--that sometimes, letting bygones be bygones is the way to go (very SP-minded of you <3). Thank you for always being there, even when I pushed you away, even when I locked the world out. I felt your concern, I felt your love. I will always be grateful for having a friend like you. I will never trade anything for our friendship. You inspire me to do my best everyday. There are times when I ask myself, "What would Krystin do?" and base my decisions off of those. I wish you all the happiness in the world. You are, and forever will be, one of my suns--thank you for showing me the path, for lighting the way. Now it's my duty to make sure that you shine on this amazing day. I always find it amazing that the most wonderful day of the year, Christmas, is your birthday--because even though it's unintentional, I get to celebrate with the world the masterpiece that is Krystin Biscocho. Happy birthday, my Krystin. Can't wait to grow up with you. I love you!

PHOTO DUMP!!!

To the friend who always has my back, know that I will always have yours as well. I will support you in every single thing you do, even if the world makes you feel like crap, even if it makes you feel like you can't do what you want to do, I'll be here to always encourage you.

To the friend who will always have to bear with my nasty attitude (weather you like it or not) get it? But, really! Putting up with me for nearly six years now... Surely, you are one heck of a friend for such dedication! Anyway, look at us in this picture. We're literal babies. So cute huhu.

To the friend who is... shocked?! Hahaha I miss your presence. I miss being near you. I literally can't wait for the 28th.

To the friend... Na arch nemesis since g8?! I think yes... Hahaha. So competitive naman, eh halata naman kung sinong mananalo, design pa lang ng project 😀👍

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Happy birthday, Krystin. I wish that you will always find happiness and passion in the things you do. You are the greatest friend I could ever ask for. I thank this world for bringing you into mashu's life. I'll see you soon 🎂