#I watch too many movies

[puckspoetry]

ok so if we apply the classic horror movie rule of “if we don’t see a body then they’re not dead” to dps Neil is actually alive. In this essay I will-

[nat-seal-well]

“This is going to be the most devastating thing I’ll written (and posted) so far,” I say as I describe some gore in detail

[nathanbates]

Alien: Romulus thoughts no one asked for (SPOILERS!!!):

• Paper thin characters devoid of any real personality.

• Except for Andy who was great. By far the most compelling character in the whole movie. David Jonsson’s facial ticks were very impressive and convincing. I still would have left him behind though.

• The franchise knows it will never top Sigourney Weaver’s performance so every couple of years we get a new pale brunette actress to come in and do her best Ellen Ripley impression.

• I would not have minded if the artificial gravity switching on and off played a bigger part in the plot.

• Very effective use of the Facehuggers. Scariest part of the movie imo.

• CGI necromancy Ian Holm was (dare I say it?)… good? Effective cameo. Would have been funny if they had cast Martin Freeman instead.

• I liked how veiny the Xenomorphs were this time around.

• I was glad when the Bri’ish guy got acid squirted by the wall vagina.

• Was pleasantly surprised the black goo from Prometheus played such an integral part of the plot. However, calling back to that movie really emphasized how unambitious Romulus is by comparison.

• The third act felt like watching a video game walkthrough. Ian Holm on the radio giving Andy orders like Atlas from Bioshock, upgrading to the self-aiming pulse rifles, the acid blood obstacle course, pulling the lever to drop the final boss to its demise, etc.

• Alvarez’ Sam Raimi influences shining through in the editing and the frequent use of quick zooming tilting shots.

• “Get away from her, you bitch” stopped the movie dead on its tracks. Andy should have closed with a dad joke instead.

• I wasn’t sure what they were going for with the pregnant girl at first. I mean, obviously you introduce a pregnant character so you can do something deplorable to the fetus, but she says she didn’t know who the father was at first, and then Ian Holm reaffirms the notion that the Xenomorphs are these immaculate beings… I was like “is this a perversion of the Virgin Mary?”

• But no, she’s just there to be tortured.

• I did also think (hoped) that the twist ending would be that she gave birth to twins. I mean, Romulus and Remus, right?

• The design of the final monster was very underwhelming for me but the audience let out a big gasp when it was revealed. Am I out of touch?

This sounds like I hated the movie but I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. It just left me wanting more. Alien is one of the few ongoing franchises that has been allowed to be weird and idiosyncratic with each new installment. This isn’t the worst Alien movie but it was the most by-the-numbers. Don’t let this franchise become stale.

Dream pick for the next installment: Julia Ducournau’s Alien.

[chaotic-stressy-depressy]

Every time I don't feel like doing cardio, I remind myself "You have to be able to outrun zombies"

[talitharabboni]

My sibs and I have a weekly movie night. We were watching Robin Hood: Men in Tights last week, and my sister and I had a realization. We can't be the first to notice this, but we think the hennins worn by Will Scarlet O'Hara and Achoo...

... look an awful lot like the ones worn by Pat Carroll and Barbara Ruick in the 1965 Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella (just with different veils and about ~30 years of wear and tear).

Could they be the same hennins? Could they be a recreation? Is this a total coincidence? The world may never know.

Edit: @recycledmoviecostumes agrees that at least the blue hennin is the same! My guess would then be that Dave Chappelle is wearing Barbara Ruick's peach hennin in Men in Tights.

[sollyraptor]

Honestly, despite a vast amount rambling about it, I think Herobrine shouldn't be in the Minecraft movie.

Herobrine shouldn't be present or even acknowledged in any official media whatsoever except little tiny snippets and easter eggs. Let him be a ghost of a presence.

I feel confirming his existence and establishing him as a character robs him of being the myth, the legend he is. There really is no bigger picture and most things people agree on still are just popular fan interpretations that stuck around or stem from popular videos or something.

Herobrine is vague. He can be shaped into any interpretation you have for him and it still makes sense. A ghost. A dead brother. A glitch. A griefer. A tragic figure. An error in the game. A ruler of mobs. A hacker. A demon. A prototype. A virus. A player stuck. A king of the nether. A trickster. A god.

If he ends up in any bigger role in official media instead of being a figure in the fog, suddenly all the mystery is shattered. Suddenly there is a canon.

And I don't want that.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael learns about FNAF Movie Sparky...

[koschei-the-ginger]

[paintedcrows]

Assorted Gravity Falls doodles!

[thequantumranger]

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

[sugarcoatednightshade]

thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.

And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.

And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.

And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?

Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.

Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.

[dumplingsjinson]

List of responses to “don’t you fucking dare die on me— stay with me, you fucking asshole—” 

(tw: death)

“I love you. Now say it back.” “Please— stop talking, save it till we get you help—” “Say it back—“ “I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you so fucking much, please don’t leave me—”

“Hey, at least I loved you till my very last breath, right? Like I had promised.”

“Y-you know… If there’s any place I know I’d rest easy, it would— it would be in your arms, where I’ve always… Always belonged.” 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t go to the very end with you.” 

“Funny how I said I’d drag you to hell with me yet I’m going to hell way earlier than you are.” “You— you idiot, this isn’t the time— just... Just shut up and stay with me, damn it—”

“Just know you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Saying this before it’s too late… I’m grateful for you.”

“Kiss me one last time?” “No— no, this isn’t— it won’t be the last time—” “Just shut up and kiss me.” 

“Ha… I told you you’d outlive me.” 

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t miss me too much, okay?” 

“I like it better when you’re smiling, sunshine. Smile for me, please? Just so I can… Just so I can see it one last time.”

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

THEY FUCKING KILLED HIM

source!!

[myriam-draws]

get back here lesbian

[erinstired]

I fell head first into Transformers recently...

[adamparrishmybeloved]

AU car racer ronan lynch ends up in a forgotten town by mistake has to do community sentence because he wrecked something, meets former lawyer adam parrish that ran away from the city hustle after being very successful at it. is this something? does this mean anything to you? yeah, it’s the plot for the movie cars and what about it.