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mister-a-z-fell · 5 months ago

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People often say to me ‘Aziraphale, what exactly is Firmament?’

And by ‘often’, I mean ‘twice’, and they don’t so much say it as send me little enquiries on the Twitters and the Tumbler, along with inexplicable demands to know whether Crowley or I go ‘on top’.

I’ll get to the point in a moment, but, since you’re here, I would like to make it clear that our sleeping arrangements are nobody’s business but our own.

In any case, we don’t own a bunk bed, so the point is moot.

The subject of Firmament first came up on a clear night a few hundred years after I followed Adam and Eve out from Eden. Seth — their third child — was lying on a stone outcrop near the settlement, watching the sky, and I was sitting a little way off, keeping an eye out for scorpions.

‘Ol-ah-kwa*?’ The boy was usually full of questions, but that night he’d been uncharacteristically quiet. ‘What are they called, the lights above?’ It wasn’t the first time he’d asked and he already knew the answer perfectly well, but that was his way.

‘Those are stars. Has your father shown you how to find your path by them?’ He shook his head, and I resolved to talk to Eve in the morning.

‘How are they there? Are they like flowers on a bush? Or spots on a lizard? How many there are.’

I wished Crowley had been there, just then. He could have explained it so much better. I did my best, although I think I left him with the impression that every star hovered high in the heavens like a hummingbird, and he took some convincing that they wouldn’t eventually grow tired, having nowhere to perch, and come crashing down around us.

‘But why are they like fires? If they were made to fly up there forever, why don’t they grow feathers and just be birds?’

‘Well, that would rather defeat the purpose, B-qa-lyl**.’ And that might have been the end of the matter, but the boy had long since learned my weakness.

‘Don’t you know?’

And this is what I told him:

‘They are stars, because God told them to be stars. If She ever decides that they should be birds, then birds they will become. She told your father and mother to be human, because there was a place made in the world for humanity. Your purpose in this life is to discover what it means to be human.’

‘What about the next life?’

‘Wait and see.’

And this is what I didn’t tell him:

In the Beginning was the Void. And God spoke into the Nothing -That-Was, and that word was the first Firmament.

Firmament exists without mass, without substance. It is the Almighty’s intent, Her design, Her love; it is a blueprint for reality, pure potential and the Universe is spun with its threads. In the hands of the Virtues, it takes on form, accretes matter — becomes Material, a mechanism turned with a key that sounds like ‘LET THERE BE’.

Firmament can only be seen by the shadows that it casts. Gravity. The way that particles converse. Electromagnetism. Slood. It moves in mysterious ways and it reaches everywhere that is not Void. One day, scholars will glimpse the outer edges of ‘omnipresence’, and call it ‘quantum entanglement’.

I should have found a way to explain that — while stars aren’t birds — they share their firmament as all the brush stokes of a masterpiece share their canvas, as the individual notes of a melody are carried on the same breath. Everything touches everything. ‘Look what ye have done unto one of the least of these my brethren, the same have ye done unto me.’

Perhaps if I’d taught Seth that all that lies between each of us and the furthest, strangest star is a triviality called ‘distance’, which only really has meaning inside the preserve of mortal dimensions, he might have understood. I tried to explain it to his descendants, but perhaps they were too old, too certain of themselves, to listen. I was never much of a teacher.

Later, in all the confusion of Babel, rāqīa (something beaten thin to form a surface) and rakhmyn (love) went their separate ways, and whenever I encountered the subject of… celestial scaffolding — for want of a better word — it came in the context of the former. A shell to support the stars, to hold back the upper waters. They forgot about the ‘love’ part.

Later still, Crowley got volubly drunk with a fellow named Copernicus and made some progress, but even his controversial model couldn’t let go of firmament as the pastry around the universal profiterole.

Then there was Giordano Bruno… but we don’t talk about him.

So, here I am, trying again. Hoping that I’ve explained myself better this time, because, after all, that’s what an angel is: Firmament imbued with mind, and grace, willed into life by words of purpose unique to each one of us. Wearing atomic fancy-dress so that we can speak to you in words you can comprehend (ideally without falling down and giggling while your hair smoulders gently).

We are, at base, figments of Her imagination, which is so powerful that it was necessary that She invent free will to stop all things yielding unfailingly to Her whim. As a consequence, reality tends to become malleable in our immediate vicinity.

What is Firmament? It’s everything. It’s Creation. It’s humans, and demons, and angels. It’s stars, and it’s the walls of Eden. It’s the bullet, and the finger pulling the trigger, the magician and the audience, and the shocked air expanding in ripples from the burning powder. It’s the scalpel, and the flesh. And inside, beneath the dancing atoms, it’s love.

Try to remember that part, because sometimes it seems very well hidden.

It’s love.

*Brother

**Something small

#good omens #hashytag good omens #spoilers #Yes I may have partaken of a little myrrh #Cosmological wittering #Too long for a fortune cookie #Crowley has taken over the hashytags #We are not drunk enough for this #Crowley shush #You will meet a tall dark stranger #My dear I’ve already met you #I’m not a stranger #You are /quite/ strange

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chvoswxtch · 2 years ago

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hi court!!!! I devoured your frank castle fics, you just capture him so fucking perfectly!!! soooo, i’m usually pretty extroverted and outspoken and I feel like I see a lot of frank x shy reader. I was wondering if you were interested in potentially writing this request: frank and a pretty confident and extroverted reader (on the shorter and curvier side bc I’m self indulgent) who maybe feels a bit insecure because of a lack of romantic partners and whatnot and maybe they’re friends and something happens and frank just wants to show her how attractive he really finds her…

maybe this sparks some inspiration? i would love to read it, but either way I am obsessed with anything frank or matt you write!!!

ps: thank u for the follow now we’re moots and i’m so fucking excited!! xxx sending so much love your way

hi angel baby d!!!

first of all, thank you so much for your sweet words. i'm also so fucking excited to be moots now!!! as a short curvy girl myself, I happily self indulged on this with you. thank you so much for the request, angel. I wasn't sure if you wanted it to be spicy or not, so I left it open ended. but if you want a spicy follow up, i'd be more than happy to write it. ;) please enjoy this valentine's treat from me to you, love. ❤️

I know y'all didn't think I was gonna leave out my frankie girlies on valentine's day. everyone say thank you @neverlandcity. ❤️

warning: swearing (bc frankie), mentions of alcohol, & allusions to spiciness. word count: 1.7k

[part two]

pretty.

From the moment he met you, Frank hadn’t been able to shut you up. He always knew exactly what was on your mind because you had no problem speaking it. For someone so small, you sure as hell had the confidence of someone his size, and the attitude to match. He was certain it looked comical every time he had to haul you out of a bar over his shoulder when you tried to pick a fight with some asshole three times your size. Other times though, he just sat back and watched with a grin. After all, sometimes those shitheads earned it.

If there was one person in this entire world Frank was scared to death to piss off, it was you. But, he got lucky in that your patience with him seemed to be limitless. As much as he had tried to keep you at arms length when you two first met, you weren’t having any of that shit, and very quickly had won him over. You very easily became one of his favorite people, and overtime he eventually got used to keeping up with you.

But tonight, you were quiet.

Frank couldn’t think of a time since he’d met you that you had ever been quiet. There was the one time you lost your voice from having a cold, but that didn’t stop you from furiously going through two entire notepads in a three day span. He thought he’d enjoy the silence, but honestly he had gotten so used to your voice that it was unnerving not being able to hear it. There was an immense sense of relief he felt once you could talk again, even if you did sound like you smoked forty packs a day for a while.

You hadn’t said more than ten words since you showed up at Frank’s door thirty minutes ago with a full bottle of tequila that was steadily being depleted. He cocked his head to the side as he studied you, noting the intense look of concentration on your features as you sliced up another lime in perfectly proportionate wedges.

“Did someone die?”

You immediately paused, whipping your head around to face him as your brows knit together in the center of your forehead in clear confusion.

“What?”

“Just wonderin’ if someone died.”

“Uh…not that I know of?”

“Then what the hell you bein’ so quiet for?”

“What are you talking about?”

Frank leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes slightly as he studied your face.

“You’ve barely said a full goddamn sentence since you walked through that door, and you’re cuttin’ up that lime like you’re performin’ fuckin’ open heart surgery. Not to mention, that bottle was full thirty minutes ago.”

A scoff sounded from your lips as you squeezed the juice of one of the lime wedges into your glass and shrugged your shoulders.

“Yeah well, someone is a heavy handed bartender and likes their drinks strong.”

“You’re the one makin’ the drinks, sweetheart.”

Frank arched one of his brows with a smirk as you glared at him. Your lips parted as you went to retort, glancing between both of your glasses and the assembly line that you currently had going. You shook your head as you went back to fixing yourself another drink and flipped him off over your shoulder.

“Shut up.”

Frank rolled his eyes as he rubbed his palms down his face, eyeing you as you sat back down at the table across from him and sipped on your drink.

“Jesus, normally I can’t get you to shut the hell up and now I can’t get ya to talk to me? The hell’s that about?”

He could tell he was testing your patience by the way you narrowed your eyes and pursed your lips in displeased line.

“No one died, Frank.”

“Then what happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.”

An exasperated groan left your lips as you set your glass on the table with a heavy thud, crossing your arms over your chest as you rolled your eyes.

“I had a shitty date last night and I wanted to drink about it. There. Will you quit being a dick now?”

Frank tensed up at the mention of the word date.

Who the fuck did you go on a date with? Why didn’t you tell him? Since when were you dating? Wait…did you say-

“That bad?”

Your eyes instantly locked with Frank’s, and the emotion swirling around in them had him softening. You swallowed thickly and put your armor back up, rolling your eyes as you laughed dryly and downed another sip of your drink.

“I’ve had worse.”

As much as Frank didn’t wanna hear about you going on a date with some asshole, he did have a lot of questions.

“He uh…do somethin’?”

The nonchalance he had attempted had clearly failed by the smirk tugging at the corner of your mouth.

“Nothing that warrants you going all “Punisher” on him.”

Frank cocked his head to the side slightly as he stared at you, tensing his jaw as his fingers twitched in his lap.

Anyone even fuckin’ lookin’ at you the wrong way would warrant that.

The smirk on your lips quickly fell when you noticed Frank was seriously considering the validity of your words. You let out a deep exhale as you stared down into your glass, swirling the contents around slowly.

“Just…not his type I guess.”

“The hell’s that s’posed to mean? He say that?”

You held your hand up as Frank sat up a little straighter in his seat, shaking your head as you chuckled dryly to yourself.

“He didn’t have to.”

Frank’s face fell at the dejection in your tone, but he was impossibly confused. There was a layer of scarlet starting to burn on your cheeks, and you prayed Frank would think it was from the tequila and not from the embarrassing truth.

“I…I’m just…not what he wanted, and that’s fine, you know? I just wish I would’ve stalked his social media before the date, because then I would’ve known better than to go. I mean…all his exes were these like super tall, thin, bombshell supermodel types, and that’s just…not me.”

There was a rage flowing through Frank’s veins that he hadn’t felt in a long time. As much as you were trying to play it off, he knew you were upset. He could see the way your eyes glimmered as you gazed down into your glass.

“Whatever. He was boring anyway.”

“He sounds like a bitch.”

A loud laugh slipped past your lips as you spit out your drink, covering your mouth as you stared at him incredulously and tried to speak through your giggles.

“God Frankie, tell me how you really feel.”

No one had called him Frankie since Russo, and the first time you had, he froze. He hadn’t expected to like the way it sounded coming from your lips so much. He tried to pretend like it annoyed him every time you called him that, but he secretly loved it. It was something that now belonged only to you. He’d never let anyone else use it.

Frank shook his head as he finished off his own drink, setting the glass down on the table a little harder than he had to as he scoffed.

“Fuckin’ idiot was probably intimidated.”

“Intimidated? Frank, I can’t reach the top of my fridge without a step stool.”

“I’m not talkin’ ‘bout your height, smartass. I meant by you.”

There was an edge to Frank’s voice that stunned you quiet and had your giggles immediately disappearing. He seemed genuinely pissed off about something, and there was a flame flickering dangerously in his eyes. He stared at you quietly for a moment, seemingly trying to gather his thoughts. Shaking his head slowly, a tiny smile pulled at the corner of his mouth.

“You’re smart, I mean really fuckin’ smart. Sometimes too smart for your own damn good. You’re funny, and you ain’t even gotta try to be. You got the biggest goddamn heart out of anybody I ever met. I know you talk a big game and you’re ‘bout five feet and some change of pure sass, but you give a shit, ya’know? I mean you care ‘bout people, always goin’ out of your way for everyone and shit. I mean hell, you intimidate the shit out of me, and I’m a man. I can only imagine how much you terrified that little boy.”

Your mouth hung open as you processed Frank’s words. There was so much venom in that last sentence alone that you were nearly speechless.

“I…you’re…contractually obligated to say that.”

“The hell I am.”

“Frank-”

“A boy wants a girl, sweetheart. But a man…a man wants a woman, yeah? And you, darlin’, are all woman.”

You’d be a fucking liar if you said you didn’t find Frank attractive. But you certainly never thought he would ever see you that way. You thought he tolerated you at best considering you practically forced your friendship on him. You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol simmering in your veins or his words buzzing in your ears, but there was something about the way he was looking at you right now that had warmth spreading throughout your lower half.

“I do.”

“What?”

Frank chuckled as a wolfish grin spread over his lips, nodding his head in your direction.

“You asked if I thought you were pretty.”

Your eyes doubled in size as your lips parted, blinking a few times to try and clear the drunken haziness that had started to cloud your judgment.

“Oh God…did I say that out loud? I don’t even-wait, what? You…you think I’m pretty?”

“I think you’re fuckin’ gorgeous.”

Frank tilted his head to the side slightly as he let his eyes wander shamelessly over your body, clearly pleased with your reaction to his confession. He used his boot to kick his chair away from the table a bit so that he could spread his legs out as he faced you directly. He gently patted his thigh with one of his large hands as he stared at you with a smirk spreading over his mouth.

“Now, why don’t you c’mere and let me show you just how pretty I think you are, sweetheart.”

#frank castle #frank castle x you #frank castle x y/n #frank castle x reader #frank castle x female reader #frank castle x fem!reader #frank castle x f!reader #frank castle fic #frank castle request #the punisher #the punisher fic #the punisher request

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sea-of-dust · 1 year ago

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Till it becomes a pumpkin

Yuta Maki Inumaki x Gn! Reader

Summary: part one of the tamaki s/o series this one ant for my moots its for me 😻

Notes: the reader will be referred to as boss sometimes. Reader has a curse technique to suppress certain things and extends this ability to objects. Little Halloween snit bit at the end of eatch one. IM SORRY IM A DAY LATE.

Warnings: swearing, pretty long headcannons, not proofread some parts im half asleep.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

When he joined jujitsu high, you had this werid welcoming feeling about you. He couldn't put his finger on it...that was till you,Inumaki and Panda cornered him. "As your classmate I cannot stand by and watch you suffer" you pull out two hairclips "please hold still" utterly confused yet letting it happen you carefully put the hair clips on. "Rika didn't come out..." "that just means my cursed technique is as amazing as ever" "Bonito flakes" "Shut up inumaki" you pull out a mirror showing him the hairclips in his hair. "It only suppresses Rikas will to attack people you consider allies, only take it off when you feel you have full control"

He stuck around you more than anyone else there, sometimes hiding behind you. "Wait till he realizes you can barely flight" "keep talking and I'm going to suppress your hairline into next week" you held Yutas hand with that same welcoming warm presence. "You'll be fine" Even when he got to know you all better he still stuck by you and inumaki the most.

"You're so cute Yuta!!" Is something mostly everyone's heard for the past year, you'll never stop showering him with praise and affection for the most minor things. "You're into him" "PFTTT please yutas my best friend plus he's always so gloomy I'm only trying to cheer him up" "Bonito flakes" "I swear to god Inumaki" "you're into him!!" Panda walks back to Yuta and then to you "you have a fat chance!" "STOP WITH THE STUPID POSE" thank god he somehow didn't hear half of that conversation

He did try to confess to you...multiple times. "So I was thinking we could go out sometime" "oh? So you finally proposed a spot?" "I really like you y/n" "I like you too Yuta!" "Really?" "Yea you're my friend!" He'd never correct you thinking you were just avoiding the topic when in reality you just never got it. Until most of your friends called you out on it. "I don't know he just seems more glum than usual" you pause looking up when two figures hover over you "has anything happened over those few days" "well...he said he liked me and that he wanted to go out" your friends stare in shocked silence. "What?" One of them finishes up a few pencil strokes "have you considered the fact he has a crush on you" your eyes widen at the thought. "WAIT HE DOES?!" "You tone deaf idiot" and so they set up a plan to isolate both of you from the rest. "Turn em down like him back I don't care" as soon as the door locks you sigh lightly "Yuta...do you have a crush on me" his eyes widen with his cheeks turning pink. "Why would you think that" "you lock arms with me alot you say things that kinda flew over my head at first and" he shushes you quickly avoiding eye contact, moving his hand off your mouth as you begin to speak up. "I love you too Okkotsu" you could have sworn you saw his heart skip a beat "are you serious?" "I wouldn't joke with someone's feelings, especially yours" you could have sworn he was on the brink of tears watching him walk up to you, gripping you waist tightly and hiding his face in your chest. As soon as you pat his head the waterworks flow. "There there Yuta" hugging him back gently you let him cry into your chest

"Sooo who's the lucky lad boss" "I'm not telling you" "you don't have to he's your lock screen" "WHEN DID YOU GET MY PHONE" you link arms with your friend "MAKE THEM STOP PLEASEEE" "I would but this Yuta person has me intrigued aswell" "...you can't be serious" "were very serious, we should share cake with him!" "..oh no" they did meet him sadly and found out how easy it was to fluster him. "So how's the boss like around you" "eh?!" "Do they not treat you differently at all" Yuta hesitantly takes a bite of cake "now that you mention it they do hug me more often" your friend stares at him narrowing his eyes watching Yuta flush up. "Something tells me boss kisses you before bed too" "HUH?!?" "Knew it cross it off bingo!" "I got a cross already" "I already filled mine" "dammit"

He probably has a bingo too with how open he is to showing pda. Hugs from behind that feel like he's trying to be as close to you as humanely possible, whispering into your ear small little things he wanted to do later, kissing you suddenly but somewhere private, and the free space casually calling you "honey or babe" infront of everyone but Gojo. This is mostly how your friend group outside of school found out about the people you go to school with. "So you're here for the bingo of your life huh?" "First one to fill their board wins" "you're on" turns out Yuta was the one everyone got bingo on first.

This is also why you two mostly go on dates in the night. "Pst yuta yutaa" he rolls over "pookie" "NO NOT AGAIN oh-" sitting up suddenly he sees you at his window "WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!" "No time to explain I wanna take you somewhere" "where?" "A surprise" you lead him out the window to a small hill sitting down on the grass. "Wait for it" he does only looking at you though until you suddenly point at the sky, his eyes widen as stars begin to fall not noticing when his head lands on your shoulders. "I'm sorry I heard the news and didn't wanna be the only one to see it" his hand reaches for yours while he watches the stars. "I just wanted to show you this then we'll be off" "then let's stay a while" he moves a bit closer "but you can barely keep your eyes open" he hugs you suddenly "then let's stay till I fall asleep" you only hum in response you two watching the stars together.

You two couldn't be separated even for two secounds. Of course if it was for a mission you'd be understanding but that wasn't gonna stop you from your u.f.o accusations. "HES BEEN TAKEN GET THE HELICOTPER I BEG OF YOU" "Why do you have one at the ready? But relax he's in Africa for a mission" "of course.." "nothing to worry about" as soon as maki tried to hang up "ALIENS KIDNAPED EM AND NOW THEYRE KEEPING HIM IN AFRICA" "HES FINE CALM DOWN" she sighs into the mic "listen..Yuta is gonna come back he'll be fine mostly unharmed now please go back to sleep" she hears a sniffle on the other line "thank you Maki" didn't stop you for nearly losing all energy and barely able to perform starlight kicks "Boss what was that?" "Starlight kick more like bummy poke" they're waiting for the random rain so you can reach maximum dramatic. "I know you two text everyday but if you miss him call him" "you cake devouring monster what a great idea!" You call him near instantly and suddenly your emo arc is over. Wait till you learn Yutas been the same way while away.

As soon as he gets back you do almost instantly notice his change in demeanor. More confidently standing infront of you and smiling warmly. "Yuta..." "yes?" "YOURE SO CUTE HOW COULD ANYONE BE INTIMADATED YOURE LIKE A PUPPY" that demeanor instantly broken by how you showered him with adoration. "Super soft too" you hug him for a long while everyone coulda sworn that guy turned a new shade of red just because of you. "And you took off the hairclips I'm so proud of you Yuta" you hold his head to your chest hugging him close not noticing just how flustered he is yet happy to be by your side. "That reminds me" you feel Two objects clip to your hair with him showing the same hairclips you gave when you first met him. "They look nice on you" giggling softly he takes a picture of your confused face. "DONT TURN THIS ON ME YOURE WAY CUTER WITH THESE ON" "I don't need em anymore!" "I don't care put em back on!!"

"Close your eyes and" Click, as soon as that's heard a bunch of lights and decoration were turned on. "It looks amazing Yuta I can't thank you enough" "don't mention it" "I will mention the cutiest Halloween decorator in the world!" You cup his cheeks ready to give him a small kiss. "Ew cut it out" "what if kids see" "you two need to get a life" they both shake their head in unison "simp" "oh my god" "they just came to remind you we had a party at the school" one of your friends hand you a flyer "yes I know I was just about to leave my candy bucket out" "that's not the problem" your friend looks at Yuta "where's his costume?" Your eyes widen at this realization. "...I'll be right back" you drag him inside quickly opening your drawer of make-up "when did you have this?" "You doubt how many times people ask for either a pad or makeup, always prepare for everything!" You run around gathering things while panicking and looking back at him only to get some of the best smiles in modern day. "Yuta don't look at me like that it's making me wanna give you dog ears" he turns away hearing tou ravange your closet when finally you settle on an outfit for him. "Here here we don't have time put it on I beg of you" "you think boss is going through hell up there" "have faith in y/n if they can manage to make probably criminals into club memmbers well be ok" they all look at their rabbit loving friend. "What?" "AHHHHHHHH" "that's bosses "I SAW SOMETHING WAYYY TOO GOOD THE TWINS SHOULD DO SOME DIGGING AND MAKE FUN OF EM SCREAM" "you're adorable" your on the brink of tears looking at him after putting on the outfit "the most handsome phantom I've ever seen" "are you sure-" "I'm very sure I'll just have to change my outfit last minute but" you sit him back down grabbing your eye liner "please hold still this shouldn't be long" "oh no please take your time" the same guy enjoying how close your chest was to him watching your eyes narrow as you figure out what to do. It's a great view on his end. Unfortunately, you finish quickly with you quickly changing to match him. "Alright lets-" you were stopped by him hugging you tight placing kisses all over your face. "I couldn't pass up this chance for the world" he kisses you again "you're gonna ruin your make-up Yuta" you avoid eye contact "I don't mind if it means you get to cup my face more" "Yuta!" You walk downstairs with him with the others. "Alright dearest" "blerg" "Shut up, anyway let's go win that contest" "that you're suddenly interested in" "Why yes since I have the best partner for it ever there's no wa-" your friend shushes you casually throwing you and Yuta into the car you all shared "lets go before they start monologing" "YEAAA"

She wonders why you don't use a ball instead of those needles for weapons... Because while you were playing with friends outside of school all she heard was "IVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU TWO, STARLIGHT KIIIIIICK" and a few secounds later she got knocked out cold. Woke up in your bedroom with you crying next to her. "MAKI YOURE AWAKE!!" "What the hell happened" "you were hit with bosses starlight kick" "it was for them! I didn't mean to hit you!" Sincere sounding enough didn't save you from her attempting to train with you.

"It's either you teach me that kick or we train together for a week" "please don't ive seen what you've done to Yuta" you did attempt to teach her your kick and it mostly failed miserably, didn't stop you from suddenly getting determined to try harder. "Welp looks like you're training with me" you move her leg a bit "try kicking it now and with wind up" "ok?" "And kick it like Panda made a weird comment about you" she performed a starlight kick flawlessly at that momment. You cheered watching that ball go into orbit while maki grumbled under her breath. "That was amazing Maki!" "First try too" She always seemed to come up to you more often to flex her achievements just so you could stroke her pride a bit.

You even spoke about her outside of jujitsu tech. "Boss is into people that would most likely step on em. As usual they're always this werid" "CUT IT OUT YOU TWO, Makis super cool though you'll love her!" Little to say they did love her, so much she's basically apart of your friend group outside of school now. They're debating on making her the new vice prez to witch you friend did NOT approve to say the least. "Atleast she won't take pictures of us while asleep" "actually I have them while most of you were awake and those have been selling better than the sleeping ones suggest you get better sheets" "Awe man" "wadya mean awe man he just confessed to having cameras in our houses" "unless you wanna sell them for free" there's a long silence. "I don't think we should demote em guys" "yea totally not illegal im blind" "bliinndddd" three of you say in unison

She does like dragging you around to do stuff with her. "Y/n!" "Yea!" "Lets go to the supermarket together" "what could be waiting for us there-" "instant coffee" "SAY NO MORE" you do this happy go lucky little dance whenever you drink it even though she finds it childish it is pretty fun watching you enjoy instant coffee. "Thank you Maki I'm gonna drink the entire box" "save some for me" "maybe" "wadya mean maybe?" She did have to hide any mention of instant coffee around you.

The twins use her to mess with you, knowing to exploit your totally not obvious crush on her. "Hey boss wanna play" "I'm busy right now" "shame I guess we'll just have to plan our wedding with Maki then" you turn your head around almost like an owl as soon as maki and marry were in the same sentence. "I'll play" your voice suddenly more threatening and low as the twins shrug "alright then-"

She did like being around you alot, that changed from like to loved the day you hugged her when she got back from a mission. "MAKI!" no time for her to respond she braced for impact, not expecting a quick yet tight hug from behind. "I missed you a bit" "seems like more than a bit" you huff softly "I..." You tighten your grip even more "just had a bad feeling atleast I was wrong" sighing she pushes you off "you're gonna crush my ribs" "OH-" You let go of her backing up "I'm glad you're ok Maki" she couldn't sleep after hearing those words, you're the worst for saying that you owe her!

So she makes it her mission to ask you out. Shouldn't be that hard except she doesn't know how to put it. "Oh so you're trying to ask out y/n" the twins giggle "don't worry we got you covered" your friend pushes up his glasses before him and the twins get to work "remmber Wednesday by their window and be there by sundown" the twins smirk while your friend finishes up the thing he was scribbling. "Put this in their mail" "Sure thing!" She did what she was told opening your window to see you turned around "Maki, I must confess this is kinda...unlike you" "wadya mean?" You give her the note "IM IN LOVE LOVE. EVRYTIME I LOOK AT YOU IT FEELS LIKE MY HEART BEATS OUTTA MY CHEST PLEASE MARRY ME!!" That's all she got through before crumbling it "im gonna end em" letting her in from the window and closing it. "They usually do that thinking they'll help, they're not very good at love notes" you cringe remembering one of them, looking to see Makis embrassed expression. "So they tricked me" "I mean they got your message across" laughing softly she narrows her eyes walking closer "I like you, go out with me" "so straight foward" she looked at you seriously "I love you aswell if it wasn't odvious" sighing she hugs you hesitantly.

She won't be lovey dovey in public she mostly hides it, infact you didn't even know she had a crush on you till she told you. Won't stop her from bluntly declaring it. "Soo" the twins stare at you two walking in, you not sure how Maki will feel about it decide not to say anything, fortunately for you she smirks "we're dating" everyone stops in their tracks before an uproar of "WOOAAAHAHAHHAAHHAHH"'s were heard. The clubroom sounded like a frat house. "Congrats boss!" "CONGRATS Y/N!" The look on one of your fangirls faces were priceless exactly what she aimed for when doing that.

As SOON as you two are alone, it's a different story. "You should kiss me" "you just closed the door maki" your laugh only makes her even more lovesick. "You owe me two now" "so unfair" she's all over you when your alone as if acting on every thought she held off in public. "Maki dial it back-" she kisses your cheek "what scared?" As if teasing you she holds your hands pinning you down "I've been waiting all day for this you know" you go to school the next day looking a bit stunned by thise events that anytime you think of maki you just kinda pause. This happened way too much. Thank god no one figured out why.

She dosent understand why you help people so much its kinda painful to see you walk into odvious traps. Such as the one set up by a newspaper club. "Excuse me you know y/n correct" "yes why?" "Is it true they have a dark side?" She thinks back a bit "you mean the emo phases?" "NO NO not that! The evil dark side kind" she realizes what's going on rather quickly "No matter of fact y/n's a ball of idiotic sunshine" "Maki!!" You shout out to her suddenly "come on! We're about go start the next round without you!" She walks off toward you ignoring further questions from the newspaper club. Unluckily for them they had gotten a surprise visit from the club memmbers aswell as her. "They disbanded? What a shame" "indeed" "you two just pushed up your glasses in sync that was cool" "do it again"

She took you to a haunted house not expecting to carry you the entire time. "AHHHH MAKI A GHOST!" "it's super small tho" "SAVE MEEE" "MAKI!!" As much as she would admit your cute when scared she wasn't gonna let em jumpscsre you like that. "Hold my hand" you blush a bit "oh I cant" "you wanna get outta here?" You grab her hand as she leads you out with ease, almost avoiding all jumlscares. "What about this" she presents to you a small cart. "Now we can't run" "don't worry too hard about it" swallowing your fear temporary you went through the ride with her resting on her shoulder fully admiring the scenery. "Thsnk you for bringing me" "don't mention it" she pinches your cheeks "your reaction to all this is key ya know" "they really are scary!" "One was just a cut out" "still scary!" She laughs softly at that "what?" "Maki protect me!!" Qouting you as your face turns red "your the worst" "oh please you love me" she kisses your cheek not thinking much of it, but leaving you speechless. "You know you never kissed me in public before..." You get a bit bashful "maybe I should be scared more often" "too late already know your tactics" "awe"

"BONITO FLAKES!!" "STOP SQUIRMING" he kept moving his head away as you tried to give him a spoon. "Inumaki you're gonna taste this so I don't lose to those two idiots and you're gonna be honest" "Mustard leaf!" "Gojo was being dramatic he didn't pass out!" You see disgusted fear in his eyes before he swallows down and opens his mouth. To his surprise its pretty amazing. "Sooo" he narrowed his eyes "salmon" "YES!" "I never knew you cooked" Panda walked in. "Why I do, to make everyone happy I mastered many things" "so you mastered leaving the teachers bedridden" "I TOLD YOU HE WAS JUST BEING DRAMATIC, that won't stop me from beating the twins in this bet" you smirk "maybe I'll even get that little bunny holding monsters approval!" You reach your fist to the sky. No one was sent to bed because of your cooking that day.

You've always forced inumaki to do stuff with you and in exchange whenever he'd as you'd use your curse technique to limit the effect his abilities had on him. He just had to sit through a make-over scene. Sometimes he thinks you can just nerf his powers entirely if you tried but you'd always respond "last time I tried to cancel someone's cursed technique I think I was too broad with it, think the guy ended up with like 50% fish 50% human it was really awkward". He "looses" the clips you gave him and you always have the same "WHAAA we must set up a funeral arrangement" "salmon" "don't agree your paying for it" "fuck" "don't speak normally while I'm reconsidering our friendship"

You're also the Inumaki decoder, which is why you two are usually partnered for missions, totally not because Gojo sees it happening. "Those two are married" "Why yes they are" "what-" "Bonito flakes" "not what you said last time this question came up" you could feel inumaki go deadpan you could tell the guys smiling under there "Bonito flakes" said in the most "I'm lying" way ever "I swear- give it to us before this guy ends up six feet under"

He definitely would find out the hard way what club you do outside of the high school. This "cooking competition" was actually a setup for something else something with rose petal involvement... "Welcome ladies" "AAAAAAAAHHH" "I've made eatch one thinking of all of you please savor every bite" "oh y/n you remembered my favorite dish!" "How could I forget something that important when it reminds me of you" "tuna tuna" "oh y/n please not in public" "don't worry my dear no one would mind this display of my adoration" "ah-" the girl causually faints into your arms and you put her in the preprepared bench to rest. "That's the 32nd boss" "I bet you guys couldn't reach 20" "we just had our 19th" "eh. HUH" "Tuna tuna" "you two idiots!!" You ran off once again never noticing inumaki trying to get your attention so he did the next best thing. "Next guest-" "tuna" it was as if someone had suddenly decided to jumpscare you, your eyes widening as you instantly break character finally hearing his voice. "...well if you don't mind" you drag him behind a table" trembling as you grip his shoulders "inumaki...what the hell are you doing here" "followed" "ARE YOU SERIOUS" you sigh "whatever listen you're gonna pretend to be a normal customer and then we move on with our day" "salmon" "yea you better" he enjoy that day knowing you watched his every move, kept it a secret just so he could keep messing with you.

He does sometimes wonder what it's like for the girls that come by so he does try to get you to seriously put on your theatrics, unfortunately you see him as a friend. Just means to try harder. "Inumaki?" He gets closer to you laying his head on your shoulder "are you alright would you like me to get you some water?" He dosent respond only holding your waist. "Inumaki...I don't know what's wrong but" you play with his hair "you always seem to brighten up when I do this" the twiddling with his hair strands was amazing to say the least. "I like you alot" "huh?" "I mean it I love you" you stop playing with his hair "wait...YOU TWO?!" You blush heavily "I've been inlove with you for a while aswell" smileing fondly he hugs you even tighter. "Salmon" "salmon you jerk" teasing him you kiss his forehead, you could feel him melting.

Everyone just automatically knows you two are dating without even saying it. "So did you two get together over the weekend?" "?" "I can feel it it feels like I'm third wheeling" "don't worry too much about it" "salmon" "yeaaa" Maki narrows her eyes at the both of you. "Inumaki there's a spot I wanted to try out nearby" "?" "They're even setting up dates right now" "it's gone too far" "who the hell are you two" your friends turn to her one with a bunny in hand the other looking like if megumi cut his hair and got taller. "A fanclub" "They're leaving" "GO GO" she did finally got conformation you two were dating when inumaki held your hand and looked as if he were about to teasingly kiss you, thank god your friends were so painfully odvious as stalking. "Inumaki you mustn't,wait...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE" "sorry boss just wanted to see it happen since you had to cancel" "WHO PUT YOU UP TO THIS" your friend raises his hand "I'm jealous" "that's the worst excuse you came up with.

He will admit one of his favorite activities is getting involved in your out of school shenanigans. "I order you to master the sassy chicken by the end of this week!" "Salmon" "inumaki not you unfortunately you can waltz...right?" "Bonito flakes" "UNACCEPTABLE, get over here were gonna dance!" He lied he just wanted to see you flustered, unfortunately he realized you were incredibly serious on this. "So what if you might not be there it's still worth it to teach you" you teach him quite quickly. Now let him buy those magazines of you.

The twins love him. So much infact that he helps mess with you. "Heyyy pookie" "who told you to call me that-" Inumaki waves from the distance. He 100% uses the twins to send you letters while your in the middle of club activities. "Now now ladies" "Boss it's from tuna" "...give it to me" you take it gracefully opening it to reveal "ditch the ladies and get over here" you turn your head to see inumaki stuffing his face with cake with the other two turning around just to smirk at you "that little" you fold it neatly putting it in your pocket "apologies ladies" "AHHHHHH" "SELL YOUR BATHWATER" "Alright now that's a little too werid"

He does like making you his personal nap post, trust as soon as he gets the chance he hits you with the "so tireddddd" waddle and lays on you. Ofc the first few times you gave him piggy back rides letting him sleep on your back but then he kinda ruined it when he didn't even use his curse technique at all. "Wait a minute you didn't use it at all!" Your eyes narrow as you point at him "no free piggy backs you can walk!" "Bonito flakes..." "you have a bed at home" you are his bed at home! He does NOT let you go as soon as he's napping you're gonna have to rizz people up with him latched onto you.

As soon as you two are alone he's up to something. Biting your cheeks texting you the most random things so he doesn't accidently curse you. "I wanna go to a park" "marry me" he deletes that text "sorry my cat typed" "you're right next to me you're such an idiot" and the best part a kiss to the forehead. The best thing ever in his opinion is when you get all affectionate. "You're always so needy, one can only assume you'd want to spend every waking momment with me" kissing his forehead again while playing with his hair the guy basically turns into puddy. "I should do this more often so you won't be jealous of the fans" you pull him closer "not to worry I'll be as affectionate as need be to make up for that" "salmon" he dosent even look up at you but he's very amused by the idea cuddling up to you continuing to play with his hair

"Salllmmmoonn" "you're a very depressing zombie ya know you're worse than Yuta" "Bonito flakes" "true you're much more adorable" "salmon" "salmon" you repeat back at him watching his cheeks puff. "Don't worry zombumaki well scare the other team easily!" "How long till they get here" "10 minute" "perfect" you continue on with your plan to jumpscare the next people in the room. "You'll be down in just a secound inumaki" waving at him from up there while he's stuck to the ceiling suspended by a few bits or ropes. "You know your lines right?" "Salmon" "perfect" you and your friend hide in the corner together bickering about small things. "You're such a jerk" elbow jab strike one "we wouldn't be friends if I wasn't" "true I like you like this" "me too" strike 2 "Oh they're comming!" You grab your friends wrist pulling them closer "shush shush I swear" "Relax I'll cover your mouth if you scream too loudly" "you're the worst" he quickly shushes you, strike three there wasn't time to glare at your friend as someone had triggered the trap set by you and your friend. He suddenly drops down infront of the guests "boo" "AHHHHHHHHHHHH" They all ran off without a secound thought. "Great job inumaki!" You untie his ropes so he's able to get out "I'm sure you got then good" "salmon" he hugs you suddenly glaring at your friends before back at you. "Alright next stage" he pulls you down suddenly whispering something in your ear making you blush. "Go on without me" "Alright if you insist" your friend leaves the room, with that happening Inumaki hugs you tighter making you pat his head. "You were a great zombie good job" giving him small head pats you stand there with him for a little while. "We're gonna win cause of you" "salmon" "of course you'd say that" you move his head to face yours. "Yes im helping you take off your makeup" "salmon" "yep"

#jjk #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jjk x gender neutral reader #yuta okkotsu #yuta okkotsu x reader #yuta okkotsu x you #inumaki toge #jjk inumaki #inumaki x reader #yuta x reader #maki zenin #maki x reader #jjk maki #jujutsu kaisen #fluff #jujustsu kaisen x reader

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tommyssupercoolblog · 24 days ago

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A moot of yours who used to be a singlet but recently found out I'm actually plural, any advice?

BE NICE TO UR HEADMATES and figure out a way to be at peace with each other ✌🏻 because in system conflict SUCKS ASS

Get to know urself and each other :0 differences, similarities, all dat. You may find that a food one of you hates is one another person in your system LOVES, etc etc. try things out and you might find things you really like! Plus it just feels nice to know who u are

If in-system communication doesn't come naturally to you, find ways to do it! Work towards being able to collaborate 🤝 and communicate with each other

Connected to the above in a way; boundaries. It's important you all are able to communicate boundaries with each other, especially on privacy. For example, Seán is a more private person than me and he doesn't want anyone to share like, MOST info about him without permission- so if we're talking to someone, I (and everyone else) won't just share stuff without asking, because we know he likes to be in control of that and be able to keep things to himself, or at least be the one to share it. He also has a lot of stuff that he'll only show me, or keep to himself entirely, and everyone knows not to go through his things. I, on the other hand will tell people almost anything if they ask me, and I don't really care if other alters go through my sketchbooks or anything because if they asked me like, any question about myself, I'd answer it anyway. So make sure you're on the same page with each other on boundaries with regards to privacy (and also anything else you can think of).

Simplyplural app can help you track fronting times, but can also just be a handy place to store system info :3

If you DO have a headspace, it usually pays to make sure you're able to access it and practice that, assuming you can't access it easily (some systems can, some can't). If you DON'T have a headspace, you can either try and make one (some systems have managed to do this and have it work) or just account for it in system communication stuff (it might need you need to leave more physical notes or use the polling/chat features in simplyplural, for example)

Pluralkit bot for discord will allow you to have seperate usernames and pfps in discord if u want them. There's also a Minecraft mod for that, I'll go figure out the name and edit this post with it

Chill out and just exist. Don't worry about system roles or what your "purpose" is as an alter, let yourself just. Be.

If any of you want/need a sperate space (their own Tumblr sideblog or blog, for example, like how me and Seán have seperate ones) then go ahead and make one! But don't feel pressured to do that if you don't want to. There's nothing wrong with sharing everything!!!

If you're out as a system to a person who's in-person with you, it might also pay to communicate who's fronting; for if you want them to know in general, but also for if one of you has different boundaries or preferences than other people. Seán doesn't like to be touched (he'll tune out when I hug people in front) so if he's fronting/piloting, people know not to touch us. Mom will hug me and play with my hair a lot but when she's with Seán she's careful not to do that- she'll occasionally offer a fist bump tho

Once you're ready, consider ur goals for the system in the long term- do you just want to exist peacefully as multiple, or do you want to fuse together? What does ur future look like, ideally? Different alters may have different wants and needs, so don't force it!! It's possible some of you will fuse and the rest will stay separate or something like dat

Don't wallow in misery. Being plural can be hard but it can also be awesome, and to quote a certain Tumblr post, you don't have to perform your rock bottom for the sake of people believing you. If you only focus on the negatives and beat yourself up, all it'll accomplish is feeling SUPER depressed and miserable. Love yourself/selves, all of you. It makes life better.

#asks #plurality #plural #system #multiple #multiplicity #endo safe

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paintedperiwinkle · 9 months ago

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plant dashboard simulator part 2

🧃candied-app1e Follow

red apples are just so much better in every way idk i don’t make the rules

🍏 greenfiend176 Following

bold statement from someone who hasn’t even begun to flower or bear fruit yet but ok

#you are literally a sapling get off tumblr and go do your homework #this website really needs to be more serious with its age restrictions

874 notes

🌶️ redhoticecold Follow

she venus on my fly til i trap

🌶️ redhoticecold Follow

easy website

#hall of fame #25k #50k #100k #150k #200k

203,274 notes

🫑 pepper-bella09 Follow

why is it that humans only use fruit to make juices and smoothies but not vegetables?? when are we gonna get shown some appreciation?

🍌 fruitsalad Follow

because no one wants to drink a carrot rutabaga smoothie??

🍅 tom-mat0 Follow

bro hasn’t heard of V8 juice & green smoothies 💀

🍑 peachykeen22 Following

guys i know we all think this post is hilarious bc i keep seeing it circulate on my dash but can we pls stop reblogging it because op is a vegetable supremacist

#can someone who’s NOT a vegsup remake this post instead #discourse

71,338 notes

🪴 homegrown Follow

some of you were NOT grown in south facing windows and it shows…

🌷 pinkandpretty Following

um this is not it op… some houseplants don’t have access to south facing windows…

🌱 sproutaloud Follow

can we not bring this discourse back to the tl like it’s 2016 please

#we don’t need to relive this

15,209 notes

🍁 nevergreen Following

i can not believe i have to fucking say this but if you support controlled fires fuck you for real. those are living trees you fucking idiot

#controlled fire supporters dni #discourse

6,971 notes

🌹 positivity-rose02 Following

flowering plants/trees who are reaching mature age and have not flowered yet don’t be so hard on yourself!! everyone flowers at their own rate and your time will come 💚

🌼 daisy-dew Follow

reblogging for anyone else who needs to hear this because i did <3

#thank you :) #positivity #encouraging #self love

4,639 notes

👩🏽‍🌾 greenthumbs46 Follow

does anyone know how to get rid of aphids?

#gardening #gardeners

24 notes

🍑 peachykeen22 Following

if you guys put pepper-bella09 on my dash one more time it’s gonna be a hard block. i’m so fucking serious.

#cause i’ve said COUNTLESS times how problematic they are and i’m tired #this applies to moots too btw #mutuals tag

87 notes

🐝 bees-knees19 Follow

just pollinated my first flower!! :33

🦋 magicalmariposa Following

that’s incredible i’m so proud of you!

🌻 de-flowered Follow

THAT WAS YOU????

#HELLO??????

788 notes

🥥 tropical-chill Follow

reminder to please help tropical fruits feel welcomed this season!! it’s a new and scary place to a lot of us and we could really use the support!!!🩷

🍍 f1ne-apple Following

please! we really appreciate it!!^^

🍌 fruitsalad Follow

maybe don’t come here if it’s so scary for you then??

🥥 tropical-chill Follow

um.. anyway…

#not the ‘local produce supremacist’ opening their mouth again… #stay off my posts you fucking freak

87,451 notes

🥥 tropical-chill Follow

would like to take a moment to congratulate user fruitsalad for being the stupidest fucking plant on this app for 2 years in a row

🍇 leavesfromthevine Following

THEY STILL EXIST???

🥥 tropical-chill Follow

unfortunately!

#anyway. using this as a reminder to you all to please block them

937 notes

🐛 veryhungry Follow

these leaves are so fuckign good

3 notes

🌱 sproutaloud Follow

hey uh not so friendly reminder that if youre a plant who is not endangered by lawn mowers/weed whackers/hedge clippers etc then it’s not ok for you to joke about them and it’s extremely problematic if you do. thanks 👍

#making this post bc i keep seeing certain Plants™️ make jokes when they should not be #like girl you’re a house grown monstera you don’t need to be making jokes about lawn mowers

15,390 notes

☘️ 3littleguys Following

4leafers aren’t gonna like this but the way you treat us 3leafers is very telling. we know what you think of us

🥦 greens-n-beans Follow

you all love to repackage the same “discourse” about “oppressed” plants and give it a new name every 3-6 months. this week it’s clovers. no one cares

☘️ 3littleguys Following

are you a clover? no? then shut the fuck up

#like fuck off actually #SO sick of being dismissed on this app #nonclovers dni #3leafer safe

5,798 notes

#dashboard simulator #long post #i <3 making these

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sad-soul-nessaaa · 1 year ago

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i just wanted to share for all my girlies & moots who are actively struggling with binging 🙊

firstly, please do not feel embarrassed. more of us go back & forth, binging and starving, but only openly talk about starving. you are not a party of 1. i think it helps to know that you aren’t the only one with deep dark secrets.

secondly, if you are actively in a state where you’re not doing any starving, solely binging and can’t get out of it, this was my trick:

over time, we all learn what times of day are easiest to fast, starve, or avoid food. i’m not in school ofc (minors pls DNI) i work in a clinic. in my professional opinion, i don’t want clinic or hospital staff touching me or talking to me with gross food residue on their hands or lingering on their breath so for me, it is an easy environment to get away with not eating. working with patients, sometimes that can turn into a 12 hour fast all on its own. i use my work schedule and consider it a safe zone/hours of fasting which allowed me to use time not at work (home) where binging really starts to take over your mind.

i started dedicating my days off to eating whatever it is i’m craving (not just any foods, but try to think about what you want most so that it’s not as much a wasted effort. a poptart today won’t cover my pasta craving for tomorrow). i completely give into myself, but stay reasonable and know i’m back at work the rest of the week which will automatically give my body time to fast away the shit i ate.

(i also take 1-2 diet pills before i start work each day for energy boost paired with a low cal monster & i love it)

in the beginning, my binging was so bad that i needed to allot myself extra binge days here or there without the shame & self hate that always followed. love yourself enough to give yourself a grace period. it takes time for your body to adjust and recognize new limits. even allowing myself those days, my body still started to slim out, stomach flattened, all because instead of binging all day/night, sneaking food here and there, i was able to eliminate my body telling me when it was time to binge. i got to decide. i wasn’t craving fries at 1am when i woke up to pee because i allowed myself that mcdonald’s meal at 4pm and gave my body time to start it’s fast at night.

my cravings now are far far less intense, less often, & now when i give in i can only eat half the amount i used to easily put away. i don’t have to lie when i say i am full. the feeling of being full is way less appetizing when you allow yourself to give in when you really needed to.

*also keep in mind the body’s process of digesting food. certain foods and trigger certain cravings. certain times of the day that you eat can entice you to be hungry again in a certain amount of time. it’s all a cycle. i pretend it’s double dutch and i get to choose when i hop in and hop out.

*also note that this is meant to help those transition from binging to starving or even from binging to a healthy eating routine. this ofc is not what i did when i was strictly starving, but if you’re not in this phase of life now, it will happen one day. we all have to get over the hump and back to ourselves again. you’re not a lost cause bc you lost yourself. here you were the whole time 💗

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muzanswaifu · 2 years ago

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Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask (Answered)

I"m not even gonna wait for anyone to ask bcuz this bitch is gonna answer them NOW

I wait for no one 😤

Keep reading if you wanna see my answers!

I nominate @xxsabitoxx, @magoliaomega, @yurmomsawh0r, and all my other writer moots to answer all these as well, CUZ I WANNA KNOW WAT YALL HAVE TO SAY

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

All of my old Doushino fics lmao, I like the base storyline I did for all of them, but my writing was so shitty back then and I cringe looking back at them now. Ireally really wish I could just rewrite them but Ik some people would literally shit their pants if i deleted them so im stuck

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

I have a kink for apology/angst scenes haha, if couldn't already tell from my past works. It's just something that I feel everyone thrives for, especially myself, where the love interest apologizes for all their wrong doings and admits that they long for yn's forgiveness and love. Mama is a heart throb

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Any scene with shinobu in my Gamer Giyu fic "The Perfect Date". I tried to make her as funny as possible in that one, and believe me, there were plenty more funny moments of her in my draft for that fic that I ended up having to cut out bcuz I felt it drew away from the plot too much. Oh how I wish to make a fic just for her lol

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

I like to make the love interests assholes sometimes, just to piss you guys off hehe, everytime they do something shitty that makes you hella sad, just know that it was me 😈

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

I don't unfortunately, I kinda just go read over it myself a couple times to check for mistakes but thats pretty much it. Ngl lie though, I am kinda interested in having someone else proofread for spelling mistakes and plot holes, any takers 👀 preferrably someone who's talented with that sort of thing haha

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

I always enjoy a good simile and metaphor here and there, not really sure about themes... love at first sight maybe? enemies to lovers? tsundere? I like sad fics as well that have happy endings, I will never, ever do a completely sad ending, i just don't like them and they leave a bad taste in my mouth

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Dog, I dont even knooooooooooow, i think all of my fics are pretty straight forward and tame. Maybe Regrettable? All of my super crazy fics are still in production so we'll just wait and see, but for drafts rn, my "No Escape" (Sanemi x Reader) series is gonna be hella crazy, so just you wait

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

My fav thing about my writing is probably my dialogue, i think I write pretty appropriate dialogue. I try my damn hardest not to make the characters cringe and to make them relatable so I hope I've done a good job with that

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

Ngl, I kinda hate them. Kissing is nice and all but i write smut yall, i got bigger things to worry about than smooching. Now virginity loss fics are a whole nother story, bcuz i can actually make it enjoyable unlike real life 😭 Shitty first time gang arise ✊

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

Nope, I bask in silence, maybe some white noise in the background sometimes? Music distracts me too much

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

I use my notes app on my phone to make my outlines, google for thesaurus, and an online word counter for the final word count

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

Yup, for those who remember, I was working on a fic called Night and Day about Kyo x stepsister reader who was living with him. Originally I had him as a yandere, obsessive person with reader being uninterested in him and the fic being non-con, but I ended up scrapping the whole thing and changing it to be a fluff fic with reader living with kyo, reader having a crush on him, and slowly the two grow closer, with tons and tons of angst and sadness. The original outline for the non-con fic is on my patreon if anyone would like to see the poor thing, it had 8 chapters outlined too haha. what a waste.

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

Only 1 ☝️ I'm pretty sure i've mention her before, my friend sam? We used to read a ton of fanfics and watch anime growing up so she's the only person i've ever told since she understands the field, and i am never gonna tell anyone else 😭I would literally die, my group at college doesn't even watch anime

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

Either Perfect Date or Regrettable

🍷 Do you drink and write?

Hehe no, I do smoke and write sometimes though

🍆 Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what's your most popular nsfw fic?

My Little One if I remember correctly

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

I usually like to write at night after I've finished all of my hw, right before bedtime :)

💖 What made you start writing?

I had a ton of idea for fics but didn't want to spend my days requesting all of them so I just wrote them myself, I write so much shit already for school, so I just said fuck it, lets ball

💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?

I thrive off of them ❤️‍🔥 I frame every single comment on my wall ngl

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

Cheating. Not sure if thats a trope but i kinda feel it is in some fics where reader or love interest cheats, the one who got cheated on gets revenge sex with another party, and then they get back together. I just hate it and it hurts my feeling and turns me off

💲 Would you ever open commissions?

Of course! After I finish all of my requests I'm gonna get that started hopefully and use the money to buy hot figurines 🥵

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

Sometimes, it depends on the fic. I usually just look up time period stuff so that things are close to accurate

🏆 What's your most popular fic?

My Little One

🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

I love halloween fics, they are scarily hot

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

YUP, @magoliaomega has perfectly written part 2 for two of my fics, reading her gifts is so eerie bcuz they were exactly wat i would've wanted for the sequel and I love her for for it, she is literally god

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

I've never gotten any but I would love to, fan art is awesome

📈 How many fics do you have?

Uhhhh like 20 I think?

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

I usually outline but I'm kinda thinking ab stopping bcuz my best fics were written without any preparations so well see.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Girl Imma talk about I'm Yours, my upcoming series ab alpha kyo and omega fem reader. I am sosososoosososossosos excited for this one yall have no idea. I've already mapped out the chapters and plot and everything. Im currently working on chapter two and just cant wait to get this shit done so i can post everything. I'm just excited to add to the very small pile of kny omegaverse fics and hopefully the series will inspire more abo creations for demon slayer. Another work I'm excited ab is a collab im doing with a fellow bestie 😏 I wont name any names or say wat the fic is ab but hopefully well get the fic done sometime next year, really excited to work with her on this!

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

I would start off with headcannons, then short scenes, then one-shots, then multi-chapter. I went backwords from this list and i wish i didnt haha. theres nothing wrong with doing it out of that order of course, I just think its the best way to build up skill and get a hang of things. Also dont be afraid to take breaks! burning urself out will lead to depression babes

💞 Who's your comfort character?

Shinobu ❤️ she was the first girl I wrote for in demon slayer and she's always held a special place in my heart

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

Can't really answer this one lmaoooooo, so ill choose a random headcannon I have, Shizu taught Sanemi how to cook and he always helped her make meals for the family

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

Kyojuro, my love. He is so pure, I wanna suck the soul outta him

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Mitsuri was obviously upset.

One day was fine. Two was pushing it. Three was a little concerning. Four was a lite search. Five was thorough detective work. And six was a breakdown. By day seven, today, she was still bawling in her pillow, wondering where-oh-where you’d gone.

Meanwhile, you hardly had time to worry about your concerning absence with a dragon on you at all times of the day. During the rare moments you weren’t getting knotted or eaten out, you were getting bathed, fed, or hushed to sleep. Similar to Kanroji, you too were sobbing into your bedding - but your reason being your cunt getting ravaged hourly. The pleasure was still incredibly mind-blowing, but your pussy was so fucked raw and puffy that you were sore beyond belief from the mating session. You had misunderstood that section in the book. You’d thought a week-long initial rut meant only occasional couplings, like a sort of honeymoon phase.Nope. Every waking moment was spent hanging off his knot and getting filled to the brim with his seed. Hereallywanted babies. And he was likely going to get them, even if it wasn’t your fertile week. You doubted his sperm would take no for an answer, honestly...

“Are you tired, my love?”

You moaned as he pulled on the lock and replied in a cracked voice. “Ye-eess.”

With one more tug, his knot was pulled free. You came painfully one final time before a flood of spunk gushed down your legs. Kyojuro flipped you over to your back and set you down onto the part of the nest that wasn’t caked in sin.

He kissed your forehead as you panted. “Our rut is done, little one. You did wonderfully, I’m so proud - you may rest now,” he whispered and laid next to you. You sighed and groaned, “Finaallyyyy.” He chuckled.

“Tomorrow we will bring your things here and anything else you may need. Your friends and family will understand, I’m sure.” You eyes shot open and you remembered them.

“Oh my god!”

Lil snippet from My Sweet Kitten (Mitsuri x Dragon Iguro) My Little One Part 2 hehe

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

Any of my non-con lmao, I think they would kill me tbh, but I heard that kinks were hereditary so this is their fault

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

If people ask for a part 2, even though I wont write one hehe

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

Breeding kink, I have needs. Also pet names (baby, sweetheart, my love, darling, princess, ect)

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

Maybe as a side career, I'm not getting a degree in my field of study just to write smut all day lmaooo, i enjoy having writing as my hobby and dont want to have it bare the burden of being my main source of income, it would stress me too much

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

It depends honestly, if I'm really inspired and horny, it takes less time. My Little One took me only 3 days to write cuz i was so pent up haha, requests take longer tho bc i have a specific plot and terms to stick to, along with anxieties about whether or not the requester will approve wat i've produced, so those usually take me a couple weeks to a month

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

Action. That shit is hard. I don't think i could ever write a fight scene ever

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

Not the ones i have currently but the ones i have in the works are extremely heartbreaking, i cried a little writing some of them

💥 How do you feel about criticism?

It depends on the type of criticism. I appreciate it if its about errors in my writing since i still have some growing to do in that department. But there has been some drama ab the things I write ab that people find...distasteful. If you don't like what I write ab, leave, dont waste my time pretending to be a mutual, I write for me not you. Some of yall have some real mean girl mentalities and need to grow tf up, this isn't fucking highschool. Im glad for thei experience tho bcuz it's taught me how to deal with negative people better. On the more constructive side of things tho, if you see errors like plotholes, devices, or grammar in my fics, please tell me! I miss shit sometimes and appreciate the help to better my work

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

#Smut. LMFAOOO

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

I looooove reader interactions! I wanna know what people think and what they would like to see next. I also love requests but I've learned that they are harder than they look lmao. I just worry ab disappointing readers sometimes. I want you guys to enjoy it too!

#demon slayer #demon slayer smut #kny #kny smut #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba smut

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creepling · 1 year ago

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Do you have any writing tips for newer writers? I love how well-written and immersive all of your work is and I would love to know some of your tips/tricks!

oh idk but i'll try the best i can!! it works differently for each writer but this is some things i think benefit me when i write:

thesaurus' and dictionaries are your best friend!! it's like having a calculator for maths, it helps you so much with finding the right word. or if you're repeating a word too much, you can find another that is similar. there are plenty of resources online and they're pretty up to date nowadays.

read read read. i've noticed reading impacts my writing a lot. this doesn't necessarily mean you have to read 24/7 or read specific things. if you read fanfic, you're already on the path for training your brain to like certain styles and pick up on things like pacing, style, etc that work good in fanfiction.

refer to headcanons. i like to view headcanons as a synopsis for what i like to explore in writing. having headcanons written down or in your head can act as inspiration and an idea. if you can flesh it out, go for it!

also, write all your ideas down. the amount of amazing ideas ive had that have never came to writing bc i forgot to write it as a reminder. notes app is helpful for those awkward moments u get an idea, but don't be hesitant, write that shit down!! it could be a masterpiece.

as for writing itself and making it engaging, honestly idk the overall answer. practice some drabbles and blurbs and find out what you specifically like to write. is it the descriptions of characters or scenario? is it action? train of thought? most writers have that one thing they love to write and others are a pain in the arse.

of course all those aspects are important, but if they become a bit of a slob to write don't waste your time on it. keep it short and sweet, get to the point, then spend your time writing the ascepts that make your work shine.

when you start writing, you might think it's shit. you will be your most harshest critic. it's okay to abandon works and move on, but never delete them!! keep all your progress in case you want to go back to it.

depending on what i'm writing for, my use of language tends to adapt with the source material. i don't do it on purpose, it just feels natural. and it benefits your work in being viewed as "authentic".

for example, since i've been writing for johnny, i've noticed my writing using language similar to how southerners speak, or similar to language conveyed in american literature. so if you wanna make your writing immsersive, that's a good technique to have. but don't get hung up on it too much, writing in your voice is just as important!! make yourself heard<33

immsersiveness can get tricky when talking in second person ("you") since it is a generalisation of the audience. try to stear the depths into the canon and have the reader be the witness of it, like they're stepping into the story.

one last point, proofread!! i use grammarly for rough drafts then i keep rereading and rephrasing until my head explodes. it's the worst part about writing, but it has to be done. you'll be itching to post it for people read it, but make sure everything is correct and you're conveying what you're wanting to say so that comes across to the reader. thankfully the fanfic community have betas, so if you're comfortable having a moot read it for pointers, that's a handy thing to have<33

happy writing, anon<33

#asks #anon

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dailyrandomwriter · 19 days ago

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Day 734

Playing the Santae beta has been an interesting experience.

Not only because I get to be a bit of a geek and talk about the design of Santae with @were-ah, but because it’s given me a chance to observe myself. Normally when I play a game, I don’t think much about how I’m playing it until way after I’ve started a game. However, in games where there is a player economy, and especially in website games where player engagement is important to keep the site alive, noting player behaviour, including my own, becomes important.

And it’s just fascinating.

The folks at Bellular News have often joked about the human collective having ‘monkey brains’ and the ‘goopy gamer’ brain, among gamers. This is because as human beings, we have a terrible, terrible habit of wanting to be the most effective possible even if the most effective method is not good for us.

This is why timers in casual free to play games became so prevalent. The timer system forced players to check in those kinds of games on a regular basis as per the timer, which drove up player engagement, but didn’t necessarily mean you were having fun playing it. It was also why this was very popular on Facebook, because it forced the player to check into their Facebook, driving up traffic and again, engagement. And players felt compelled to do this, because checking in on your stuff just as the time was up allowed you to do that action more often throughout the day. It was a more effective way to play, but not necessarily more fun.

And interestingly in the case of Santae, not necessary, period.

Now, Santae does have timers, though their timers range from anywhere from 30 minutes to 7 hours before you can play certain mechanics again. This, by the way, is not for any malicious reason. Having timers on their gathering, harvesting and fishing mechanics prevents fast oversaturation of items, and more importantly you can reduce those items by buying in-game tools. They do not cost any real world cash, those tools are more likely virtual currency sinks to fight against inflation in the player economy. There’s also the fact that Santae is following in the footsteps of past virtual pet sites, which, depending where they were made, had timers or action limitations to them because of parental groups. So some of those mechanics just have become a bit standardized. American based websites tended to be not as affected by it, but may have gleaned some mechanics from that, while European based websites… They were interesting.

That by the way, is a fun topic for another time.

But the point is, Santae has timers, and they have a certain number of quests that can be filled in a day. This means as a player, I am compelled to try and be as effective with those timers and to fulfill as many quests as possible to be as effective as possible.

Except, I know logically, that is not necessary.

First off, there are about eight NPCs that offer quests, and each of them have their own limit cap. A cap that I’ve only ever hit with one NPC, leaving the other seven still available to me. Furthermore, despite the fact I have never hit the cap for all the NPCs, I’ve always earned a lot of virtual currency.

Like a ridiculous amount of virtual currency. Like I could go on a shopping spree for an hour and still have money to burn, and that is only after twenty minutes of doing quests. The quest rewards, once you understand how the mechanics work, are very generous.

This means two things. One, I do not need to reach my quest cap, I can just do quests for 30 minutes and I will be fine. Two, with those rewards, I can buy the best tools for harvesting, gathering and fishing, making the worry about not being the most effective with the timers around those mechanics completely moot.

By the way, those tools are expendable (because they are currency sinks to prevent inflation). And even if I bought a huge amount, I would still have cash leftover.

While the overly generous rewards may be a balancing issue, I think it’s more likely this was done on purpose. The demographic for this game are people around my age range because we grew up on these types of games. But as adults we don’t have as much time as we did when we were children. Designing a game like this allows me as an adult to play as much or as little as I want and not feel like I’m behind other players.

However, there is player behaviour to take into account. Like I said earlier, there’s a reason why the joke among the Bellular News crew is ‘monkey brains’ and ‘goopy gamer brains’. I’ve literally had to write a note in my game journal to myself to say, ‘chill, you don’t need to earn that much’.

And I really don’t. I even started playing the game how I think the designers wanted the players to play it, that is purposely to take time to fill out the collections of my pets, by spoiling them rotten. I buy a lot of random things in the shop that I might want to feed them, or collect or I just find shiny. I buy a lot of the expendable tools because I can and it means I can fill out more collections.

But, in the end, it is up to me to make sure I play the game optimally for fun, and not effectiveness.

#also I enjoy buying things and getting every single item too much #only to use them for quests for more money

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recurring-polynya · 2 years ago

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I have to say that one of my favorite little aesthetic details in Bleach is the Lieutenant’s Badges. The captains have haori, this entire extra garment, which completely sets them apart immediately from other shinigami by shunting them into negative color space. A haori is also very widening, which I think really helps out guys like Byakuya and Gin who are naturally kind wispy. Its got their number on the back, which is almost like a joke, because if you’re seeing the back of a captain, it’s most likely that you’re lying on the ground in a pool of your own blood, and which one did it to you is a bit of a moot point.

Lieutenants, on the other hand, get armbands, which not only have their number, but also their squad flower. They come in one size, which is “burly dude who never skips arm day.” They are required for certain official business, like Emergency Vice Captains Meeting and...um... it’s incomprehensible, actually. Kubo absolutely does use the wearing of them for symbolism, for example, Kira and Hisagi pointedly did not wear theirs to the Battle at Fake Karakura Town, although the lieutenants who had not been betrayed by their captains did...and so did Hinamori.

It also seems to be the case that you can wear your badge whenever you want to. It seems to be mostly the women vice-captains that do this, which is sort of funny to me, because they are enormous, and Rukia and Momo in particular look constantly in danger of getting theirs caught while trying to go through a doorway. I imagine this is because guys like Omaeda and Iba and Renji (king shit of not wearing his badge) are used to establishing authority through their physical presence and general volume, whereas lieutenants like Ise and Kotetsu prefer a more tangible symbol of their command. (I think that Rukia just wants everyone to know she’s a lieutenant 100% of the time).

You don’t even strictly have to wear them as an armband. Matsumoto clips hers to her sash (which she ties in a non-standard knot) and Akon wears his on a fucking lanyard (I can only imagine he keeps his access card for swiping into the Squad 12 computer lab in a little pocket on the back side)

Anyway, none of it this is actually what I wanted to talk about. What I wanted to talk about, is what are the badges feel like. What is their heft, what is their texture? Going into this, I thought they would either be made of metal or wood, but in the course of doing this, I think Kubo original intended for the badges to be soft and then changed his mind.

The first time we see the badges is the aforementioned Emergency Vice-Captains Meeting during the Soul Society Arc. I am very fond of the little character beat where Momo goes to Renji with her concerns about her captain, but look at her badge. It does not appear to have any discernable thickness, and the top actually seems to wrap into the armband. I was surprised by this, because when I think of the badges, my mental image is of this big, solid plate.

In the next few panels, we can clearly see both Renji’s and Momo’s and they both look distinctly flexible.

The next place I wanted to check was the scene Momo and Izuru find Renji’s badge after he took it off because was mad at Byakuya acting without orders. I wanted to see what a badge looks like when it’s not actually attached to an arm.

So, to be honest, it wasn’t particularly helpful. The face-on perspective doesn’t give much idea of depth, although the hashing does give the idea either woodgrain, or embroidery, like a big-ass patch you could sew onto your Girl Scout sash. Note that in the above panels, Momo’s is still definitely wrapping over the top of her armband. Izuru’s is more ambiguous, but it has the same texture.

I flipped through, trying to find more appearances in chronological order. This is the phase of the manga where we were being introduced to the Gotei for the first time, and there were a lot of splash pages of important characters. Look at this one for Matsumoto. Her badge definitely seems rigid, but it’s very thin, and it does appear to be curved. If I had this picture to go on, I would think it was a thin, metal clip.

This one, of Yachiru (OG of ‘you really couldn’t have offered these in two sizes??’) is the first one where I really get the sense of solidness that we’ll see later on.

Anyway, back to actual panels, here’s Nanao. Much like Rangiku’s, it now looks stiff, but still pretty thin. The side shot is very nice, because it gives the distinct impression that it has a lip at the top that loops over the armband.

Now, I want to contrast all these to the shots we see during the Battle at Fake Karakura Town. Kubo has finally gotten these down to a consistent style which is thick and without that little clip at the top. In fact, they actually seem to protrude out and away from the armband, notable at the top, which you can see clearly in many of these shots.

At this point, I was almost wondering if it was sort of an intentional change, an update. So I took a few looks into flashbacks.

Here’s the oldest one: Aizen in Turn Back the Pendulum, and sure enough, it’s both thin and loops over the top:

Next up, Everything But the Rain-era Rangiku, with some very clear badge shots. I don��t think I had previously picked up on the fact that she used to wear it on her arm! I am so, so sorry for the part that’s in Isshin-Pervo-Vision, but you can see the top of the badge really well here, and it is both chonky and with top-clip. Hrmmmnh.

Now, here is the flashback where Momo and Izuru come to give Renji news of his promotion and...uh... it’s very clearly the protudes-over-the-top style. DOUBLE HRMMMNH.

If the Gotei actually wanted to do a badge update, the real time to do it would be during the 17-mo timeskip, so let’s move on. As it turns out, Rukia is the only one who wore her badge to the Fullbringer arc. There are lots of good shots of it, and it’s the thick, tall version everyone had at Fake Karakura Town. The coloring on this cover also suggest that it’s metal, rather than wood.

Badge-etiquette was all over the map during the Thousand Year Blood War, but it generally appears to be in the latter day style. I flipped through so much of the TYBW, looking for examples that weren’t Rukia, and I think Kubo was honestly just tired of drawing badges, because mostly whenever you can see them, they’re at weird angles or drawn in ways that you can’t discern much about their geometry.

One thing I have noticed is that instead of the old hashing texture, Kubo has started drawing these sort of wavy, watermark-looking things on them. I wonder if they are supposed to indicated that they are shiny?

Oh, here’s one I found of Yachiru’s badge, which like Renji’s earlier, is very hard to parse when it’s just sitting there, without a person’s arm for contrast.

So, what if any conclusions I have drawn? I do think they are metal, although I love the idea that they were supposed to be cloth for, like, half a day, and then Kubo changed his mind. I think they used to be thin and the top hooked over the arm band, and now they are thick and stick up over the top. I think that one flashback with Kira and Hinamori was just a mistake. I can offer no possible explanation for why they changed the badges after the Ryouka Invasion, but before the Winter War, but it looks like they did. Three captains betrayed the Soul Society and murdered our government and all I got was this updated lieutenant’s badge (and then Kira and Hisagi won’t even wear theirs).

BONUS: Here’s Mashiro’s Super Lieutenant badge, which I am 100% sure is not street-legal, but it is very shiny!

#lieutenant's badges #bleach worldbuilding #gotei-13 #i have been planning to do this post for about 3 mo #but it felt good to finally get around to doing it #peak polynya content #i feel like myself again

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btscarnivalnet · 2 years ago

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Headliner Of The Month

Hello, Carnival Goers and Performers alike, please give a round of applause for our Headliner of the Month:

Our Wonderful Performer: Sheena @shina913

You are our Headliner of the Month!

During this month, we want to showcase your incredible talent and skill and share it with the Carnival! For this month, we want you to pick three fics of yours that you’d like us to showcase, and we also wanted to ask you some questions so we can understand how you write, why and what you want to get across with your fics.

Questions for you:

Three Fics: Please Provide the Links

Gradation

Scale

Intersect

When did you start writing fics, and why?

I started writing back in late October/early November 2021. I actually wrote fanfic back in high school—decades ago—in a physical notebook! But it was just for my personal enjoyment and I never shared them with anybody…I wasn’t sure if people would look at me weird while reading about imagining how it would feel to make out with Nick Carter (from the Backstreet Boys)?

But fast forward to present time, I started writing because I was going through a rough patch, mentally and emotionally. I was unhappy at my job and parts of my life, in general. Then, I started reading some BTS fan-fics on Tumblr, AO3, and Wattpad around July ‘21 and a couple of them had been imprinted in my mind, so to speak.

I also started to write because around that time, I wasn’t sleeping much due to my mind just constantly racing in the evenings and then generally feeling unmotivated by daylight. I was desperate for an outlet for my emotions. Then one afternoon, I opened up the “Notes” app on my phone and started to write while waiting from my train home from work. I’m not being poetic about it–it’s literally just how it started LOL

I had no intention of publishing because it started off as more of a form of therapy for me–before I found my therapist. From the Notes app, I eventually downloaded Google docs into my phone and moved my text there at some point–although my original draft for initial scenes on Gradation still lives in the Notes app. I keep it for sentimental reasons and it serves as a reminder of why I started to write and why I keep doing it.

Also, some part of me felt the urge to fill in certain plot holes that I found in other fics–like an ‘unmet need’ of sorts. Those thoughts niggled at me during some nights as well–while I laid in bed reading a 20+ chapter fic at 4AM! So, in an effort to carry out my own agenda of wish fulfillment, I thought, hey–why don’t I write the ending that I want?

What was your first fic?

Gradation

What is your latest fic?

Scions (series)

Why did you choose to write about the fics you have chosen?

Gradation

This story was really more of a form of therapy for me. I mentioned the concept to my sister–who consumes way more fics than I ever have so it felt somewhat validating that she thought it was decent? I showed her snippets of it and she was just happy that I had an outlet for creativity. I told her that I didn’t plan on publishing and that maybe this would just be a long-ass oneshot that I’ll keep for myself.

Eventually, I gathered up the courage to talk about it to one of my first-ever moots on Tumblr, Dee (@deepseavibez)–who is also a great writer, BTW. She very graciously offered to beta it and after doing so, she pushed me to keep writing. She gave me insightful and constructive feedback on my first couple of chapters. At that point, even though she was encouraging, I still didn’t feel confident enough to actually make that jump to format and publish. I think it took me another week or so to decide–also, because I had to look up how to actually publish and format it for the platform LOL I was unfamiliar with Tumblr’s format so I had to ‘learn it’ first–and even now, I’m still trying to learn some tricks LOL!

Scale

I wrote it because…I managed to fall in love with Jin while writing him as a side-character on Gradation–which wasn’t originally planned LOL!!! I also received some comments (while writing Gradation) screaming about him and how they felt bad about the character. So…I tossed the idea around with my sister and Dee and we pretty much agreed that Jin deserved his own happy ending! This was also my first venture into crack-fic writing–which…I eventually admitted to myself that I am really into reading and writing. I seem to always come up with chaotic ideas (that mostly end up getting cut in the end).

This was also the first time that I went with a primarily plot-driven story rather than a character-driven one. I did a lot of research–nothing too deep but just to help tie things together and to make it make sense? I also chose this as one of my favorites because of the effort that I put into this. I get that for fics, it doesn’t need to be that deep but…I just care a lot and that’s just how I am, so I figured that this is how I want to write because this is what I enjoy reading and I hope others do, too.

Intersect

Do I need a good reason to write about Kim Namjoon? Nope, not really LMAO! No, but seriously…I wrote it because I wanted to hit most of the typical fan-fic tropes to build my masterlist. I’ve done a best-friends-to-lovers scenario, strangers-to-lovers…so I wanted to get into enemies-to-lovers. Initially, I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to use Namjoon for this. For the first couple of drafts, he was ‘MemberX’ on the doc LOL! Then, randomly, I just replaced the placeholder with ‘Namjoon’ and the story just flowed from there.

I also had a ton of fun writing this and looking back on my original posting dates, I was really in my element here. I posted almost every week–sometimes even twice a week! My mind was constantly buzzing.

What was the most memorable line for you in each of the fics?

Arghhh–I know this is terrible but I have a ton of favorites! Here’s a list:

Gradation

YN to JK: “The only thing that would ruin this friendship would be an act of God.”

Part 3. Which hits way differently after she says it to him in a completely different tone and context in Part 8. Oof.

YN to JK and vice versa: “Ditto.”

I borrowed this expression from the movie “Ghost” and it felt awkward at first? But as the story went on, I just settled comfortably into it and made it ‘my own’ in a way.

No further words were exchanged. They weren’t necessary.

Part 4. This was the last night that YN and JK spent together before leaving Hawaii. I love conveying tension and emotion with subtle actions.

Jin to YN: “Like I said…it’s all background noise to me.”

Part 6. Writing this scene absolutely cemented my love for Jin.

Everybody in the world needs a Park Jimin in their life.

Part 9. Because they do!!!

Scale

He takes a whiff of the warm coffee and has faint visions of flickering neon lights while he watches the fog lift off the bay’s surface.

Part 2. This visual came to me in a dream–fog and flickering neon lights. I thought it fit with Jin’s current thoughts and how he just couldn’t get YN out of his mind.

Miya to YN: “Oh, honey…I know girls like you. I’ve known girls like you all my life. You are not one in a million. And I’ll tell you right now–there is nothing special about you except what’s between your legs.”

Part 6. I love this because it’s such a classic, soap-opera scene for me–where an antagonist ‘circles’ the protagonist like a shark. Ugh! I live for that drama!

Taehyung to Eunhae: “It’s just uh–I’m pretty familiar with the styling and brush strokes,” he says with a slight emphasis on the word ‘strokes.

Part 8. This sounds corny but I had a lot of fun writing in Tae as this smooth, ‘undercover’ guy who is trying to seduce a mark.

Intersect

There are soooo many because Intersect has taken over ‘Gradation’ as my favorite fic that I’ve written!

Namjoon to YN: “See? That right there–who needs mutual respect and professionalism when I can have blind hatred.”

Part 5.5. This was inspired by ‘10 Things I Hate About You’ and I thought it was just perfect for this scene.

Namjoon: “I can’t help it when you start to debate with me–it’s just…really hot when you start hitting me with facts.”

YN: “Well, when you come at me with large-scale data, how can I not be turned on?”

Namjoon: “So you’re saying you only want me because of my data?”

Part 7. I love puns and double entendres and if there is an opportunity to introduce it into any scene, I will add it!

Namjoon to YN: “You want to watch me lose it?”

Part 8. I haven’t come across many fics where the female OC takes pleasure in watching their male partner come apart at the seams–it’s usually the other way around. This scene was inspired by this 99-cent online book that I read a while ago–I forgot what it was called but that particular scene stuck with me and I thought I’d write that in here.

YN to Namjoon: “I thought you went home?”

Namjoon to YN: “I thought I did.”

Part 9. This was soft…and I wanted to essentially seal the deal on Namjoon and YN’s feelings towards each other.

Jungkook to Namjoon: “You were basically the same…like lines running parallel against one another. All you needed was to…tilt a little bit to make contact.”

And basically the entire intro to Part 10. One of my absolute favorites!

What was your writing process like for each fic?

In general, I am usually prompted by a movie I have recently seen or a TV show. I would pick it apart in my head and find out how I could make it work for me. That’s how it usually starts.

When I get a prompt or idea for a fic (especially for a series), I will either write it down in a Google doc or text my sister about it. Once we have a nice exchange going (meaning she’s into the idea, builds on it), that’s usually a good sign for me to start drafting or writing down bullet points, at the very least.

I try to pre-plan the story beforehand–outlining, if you will–mostly key scenes and plot points that I want to hit as the story progresses. However, I don’t outline all the time. Sometimes, I’ll just have a beginning and a ‘source of conflict’ planned out and I’ll write that down without an ending in mind yet. Eventually, once I figure out an ending, it’s just a matter of filling in the gaps and ‘landing the plane,’ is what my sister and I always say.

Often, I will get random ideas for scenes or conversations that aren’t in chronological order. I keep ‘scratch’ documents for each of my fics, specifically for prompts and I’ll just type out a conversation or add bullet points on what I think would be happening in that scene. When I’m writing a chapter, I’ll revisit that scratch document and I’ll find a line or bullet point and add it to my chapter draft and build on it. Sometimes I’m able to make it work, sometimes, it’s like a square peg. In one of my fics, I ended up scrapping a scene of about 1K+ words from a chapter. I thought it was a solid scene but when I started to read the whole thing, it just felt like it didn’t belong.

Having said that, I very rarely delete anything I cut. I always save those because they might come in handy or could fit another story. There have been a couple of paragraphs that I dropped from past fics that I ended up repurposing for another story. I just did some minor edits to make it fit.

For Gradation, I knew from the jump that I wanted to bookend the story with a wedding and it was a matter of mapping out the couple’s journey on how to get there. I knew that I wanted YN’s ex to come back, I knew that I wanted this falling out to happen. In fact, I drafted their fallout scene way before I mapped out all of the leadup to that. I just needed to connect all of the other events to that scene–with a tiny bit of a rewrite because I inadvertently changed some things in the chapters before that.

For Scale, that was a bit more challenging because there were so many elements to it. I knew that I wanted some complication between Jin and YN which was caused by their difference in social status. I’m a huge consumer of police procedurals and true crime documentaries. I am intrigued by white collar crimes as well. I mentioned ‘research’ here so, once I got to the point of the story where the plot started to unfold, I did a whole deep-dive into U.S. tax laws, high-value property insurance, and fraud. It got really overwhelming for a bit but I pushed through it. I worked very closely with my sister on this part of the story and I had many other ideas that I tossed at her and vice versa–before ultimately settling into what is currently published.

For the penultimate chapter, I originally didn’t plan it ending that way even though my sister had suggested it. FYI, we grew up watching Filipino soap operas–which always have an abundance of drama and crack in them. She had suggested a kidnapping/ hostage situation, which I tried my very best to shut that idea down because 1) I already did so much prior research on the previous chapters, even struggling through writer’s block just to push everything along, 2) it felt weird embracing the crack element of it, and 3) I didn’t know how I could write it without coming off too corny or dramatic? But…once I got to Part 7, it was clear that things were leading up to that point so I just leaned into it.

For Intersect, the process was slightly easier because I ended up using my own industry as part of the plot point here. I didn’t need to do much research because I’ve worked around public policy for over 10 years. In mapping out the actual narrative, I used the same approach–texting and calling my sister back and forth–exchanging ideas. Also running a few ideas past my friend, Dee since she’s also a Namjoon simp.

A few scenes in this fic, as I’ve noted in some chapters, were prompted by movies and some episodes of TV shows. Sometimes, I’ll rewatch those movies or shows to get into the emotion and see how the action unfolds, then I tailor those scenes to fit the current environment of my characters and the story.

Interestingly, about halfway through writing Intersect, I went to go see the boys live in Vegas on their final night. It was completely magical and when we got back to the hotel that evening, I wrote a little bit while Namjoon’s face was still fresh in my mind LOL

When I do chapter updates, I’ll have rough ideas of scenes that I want to happen and write them out as “headers” and build on those. Sometimes, I’ll send snippets to my sister for feedback and she’ll send notes. Once I think that I have a good, flowing chapter, I’ll send the full version to her and my friend, Dee, for beta reading. They make their suggestions and I implement notes or justify/reject them if I disagree. More often than not, I accept their suggestions because having a fresh pair of eyes always helps me.

When I go into a writing sprint, I’ll get tunnel vision and just plow right through the update. And then, I get the marked up version back from Dee and my sister and I think–huh–this suggestion makes total sense! How did I miss that?

So…to all beta readers–kudos to you! I’m aware that not all fic writers get their work beta-read–and that’s your prerogative, of course. For me, personally, I find beta-reading helpful because I am able to address possible questions or fill certain plot holes in my stories. After talking to another random reader, they’ve said that whatever plot points or background story I put in, they would just ‘accept it’ without much hesitation as long as it provides the slightest context into a character and/or rationalizes their actions. And that’s good, I guess but as a reader and consumer of many other forms of fictional stories, I always ask “why” and “how?” The whys and hows make the story interesting for me so when I write, I apply that same approach.

What do you hope readers will take away from the fics?

I’m a huge sap and tend to get very dramatic when I write. However, I’d like to think that my writing style is rooted in relatable and semi-realistic situations–just slightly a bit more dramatized. I want readers to know that I put a lot of thought into my characters, especially for multi-chapter stories–what their motivations are; why they do what they do; what their next action would be; what they would say.

I love creating strong, female characters and portraying them as so–especially when they’re in a position of power. I don’t want to sketch out a female CEO as just a counterpart of a man. Women offer unique perspectives and have experiences with and approaches to different situations so I want to make sure that I am able to give justice to that.

I’m a little older than most fic writers I’ve interacted with on Tumblr so I try to use my own personal experiences and inject them into my characters and stories. In contrast to being a little older, I also love reading content written by other writers whom I know are younger (based on their bios). I learn a lot from their different experiences and perspectives while they tell their stories. I think that just because you’re older, doesn’t necessarily mean that you know better. We all bring something different to the table and that’s the best thing about fan-fiction. There’s something different for everyone and you’ll end up finding something that will cater to your own ‘wish-fulfillment bank.’

I’m just another writer who wants to offer a different perspective and approach to typical, every day fanfic/AU stories and conflicts. And although the endings of most of my stories are generally predictable, I want to make the journey interesting. I feel like that’s what keeps a reader engaged. For a while, I thought that this approach was boring and that I should just go with whatever I think that majority of readers would like.

Having said that, I have and need to keep reminding myself that I started writing because it soothed my soul and I write for me so I try to stick with that. It’s what keeps me centered. I’ve said at some point that if I put something out there just for the sake of posting, that would be the death of my blog. If I’m happy with the content and proud of it, I know that those feelings will come off the page (or screen, in this case) for a reader.

Why do you keep writing? What drives you?

I’m mostly introverted so writing is a form of self-expression for me when the act of speaking fails me–which, 9 times out of 10, it does. I also love dreaming up certain what-if scenarios and just the whole premise of wish fulfillment (or shattered hearts) drives me.

Any writing goals you’ve recently hit? Any goals that you are planning to hit?

It’s not so much a goal that I’ve hit but an achievement but since I started writing late last year, I have written (and closed out) four multi-chapter series in a span of 9 months! That’s over 346,000 words that I’ve written and that’s not even including my one-shots and ongoing series…so I’m pretty proud of that!

It’s a modest goal but I’d like to develop more fics with more of the usual fan-fic tropes like: exes to lovers, arranged marriage, maybe even some fantasy!AUs. I’m always looking for a good prompt!

#headliner of the month #performer: shina913

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iichaeyj · 2 years ago

Note

Hi CH ( ^ω^ ) had some questions about the profiles for you ^_^

is dae knowing heeseung but him not knowing her alluding to the popularity of the group? that they don’t really pay attention to their surroundings or others?

i did see tho that sai and rai met some of the boys and yn too at parties so theyre more of the upbeat party type while yn and fae are introverted/serious or keep to themselves?

are sai and rai closer to each other then to yn bc they already knew each other and same with yn and fae?

the best friends seem very cool personalities 🥰 sweet best friend affectionate best friend and protective best friend <3

is sai and rai close to dae too or no? i only remember you say that yn met them at party

who is the oldest / youngest of their friend group? i assumed yn was but i’m not sure if you want to specify

i would enjoy to know about the dynamics if you wouldnt mind telling ^_^

omg tysm for these questions !! i love talking about my smaus :D

for the first question, i'd say pretty much! after all, heeseung is literally called the heartthrob of the university, so i did include that as a way of showing how well-known he is! however, it isn't that he and his friends don't pay attention to their surroundings, but more that they're very popular and everyone knows of them! i think heeseung hasn't noticed fae because he just hasn't talked to her or seen her up close!

and for the second one, yes and no. i did make fae and y/n the more studious type, while sai and rai like to go out more. however, i'd say that y/n is just very serious when it comes to her studies and fae likes to keep up her grades, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they're shy. i think it speaks more on what kind of things interest them rather than their personalities, if that makes sense.

to a certain extent, yes. sai and rai definitely knew each other before they met y/n and fae and vice versa. so i do think that y/n might lean more towards fae when it comes to matters of the heart (also bc fae is the more sensible one when it comes to emotions), but they are still one friend group and there is no big difference in how they treat each other!!

and im glad u noticed!! i really wanted all of y/n's friends to have distinct personality traits that serve a purpose in the plot!

i forgot to write it in the profiles, but sai and rai are close to fae, too! i imagine that fae and y/n went to their first party together in freshman year and caught the attention of sai and rai! and they've been close friends since!

tbh, i hadn't thought of this too much so i'm glad you brought it up! they're all in their 3rd year of university and the same age, but i'd say the order of oldest to youngest goes: rai, fae, y/n, and sai! i feel like it's surprising to think that sai is the youngest and rai is the oldest, but it just makes sense to me tbh. (also plz note that this isn't reflective of my actual moots and their ages!)

and i have a lot to say about their dynamics omg!! for starters, i think that the others try very hard to get y/n away from studying. they want her to go out once in a while and do something fun! but at the end of the day, they're just very protective over her. y/n tends to get stressed out from her studies, and her friends want her to take it easy. and speaking of y/n's friends, i think that sai and rai have a tom and jerry type of friendship, yk? rai likes to tease sai a lot and sai gets "annoyed" and is often sarcastic with rai. and fae is a sweetheart (who tries to control the group most of the time). there's a lot more tbh but this post is already so long omg </3 maybe i'll talk about it more in a different post! tysm for asking for this, though!!

#iichaeyj #iichaeyj has replied . . . ☆#BLINDED BY LOVE. - asks

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onecanonlife · 3 years ago

Text

In which Tommy travels back in time and tries to prevent a nightmare from happening to everyone he knows. Everyone else, meanwhile, is highly concerned.

(fic masterpost w/ ao3 links)

(first part) (previous part) (next part)

(word count: 4,756)

--------------------

Part Nine: Tubbo II

Tubbo feels adrift.

It’s not an emotion he does well with, if it’s even an emotion at all and not just a strange, unsettling state of being. By all rights, he shouldn’t be dealing with this at all; it’s not as if there’s not anything to do, not as if he’s not a member of Wilbur’s cabinet and not as if he’s not trying to corral the candidates into productive debates and not as if they haven’t just finished handling Sapnap’s pet-murdering bullshit. It’s not as if he’s not busy. Not as if he doesn’t have purpose. Adrift is not a word that should apply to him.

But then again, it’s not as if he doesn’t know why he feels it.

It’s Tommy.

So many things come back to Tommy, at the end of the day. Normally, it’s not a bad thing. There’s no place he’d rather be than at Tommy’s side. But that’s just it, though, is the problem in a nutshell, because Tommy’s side is a place he finds himself less and less frequently.

Not in a literal sense. Tommy’s still around all the time. Is still around him. Physically, at least. But Tubbo’s known Tommy for years, and that means he knows how to read him, which is why it’s troubling that he doesn’t know how to interpret the look in his eyes half the time, all dark and distant, like he’s miles and miles away, staring at something that Tubbo can’t see. Staring past him, past everyone.

It’s scary, if he’s being honest with himself. And scarier still that Tommy’s trying to hide it, that whenever he tries to so much as hint at something being the matter, Tommy laughs and says something loud and obnoxious and deflects and changes the subject and refuses to tell him anything at all. Which is so fucking wrong. Since when does Tommy keep secrets from him? Since when does Tommy have a secret that he can’t trust him with?

Sometimes, he thinks that he’s imagining it, is making up the whole thing, is getting lost in his head and inventing problems where there are none, just because he has been a little stressed recently, what with everything. But then, he’ll see someone else make a sharp motion, and Tommy will jerk away, face shuttering, and he knows that he’s not inventing any of it.

Because Tommy always tries to play it off, but Tommy reacts that way to lot of things, nowadays.

And Tubbo doesn’t know what to do, because Tommy won’t even tell him what the problem is.

So, he resorts to the only action he can think to take. He goes against one of the only things Tommy has told him, that first night when he started acting off.

He decides to talk to Wilbur about it.

“I think there’s something wrong with Tommy,” he says. Blurts out, more like, no dancing around it at all, but dancing around it would hardly help anyone. It’s certainly not helping Tommy.

From behind his desk, Wilbur puts his pen down, signaling his full attention. The sun shines through the window behind him, late afternoon light casting the office in a gentle glow. Wilbur is backlit against it, painting his features in slight shadow.

“In what way?” Wilbur asks. “Has he said anything to you?”

“No,” he says, “and that’s sort of the issue. He keeps acting weird, but he won’t talk to me about it. He just pretends like, like I’m dumb or something, or that I’m making shit up. But I’m not. And then he keeps on acting weird, and it’s like he doesn’t expect me to notice it.” Wilbur’s staring at him evenly, calmly, and he feels a burst of desperation—he’s not making this up, he’s not, and he doesn’t want Wilbur to believe that he is, to believe that he’s jumping at nothing, to dismiss him. “He keeps saying weird shit, and he flinches sometimes, or he looks at people really strangely, like he thinks they’re—like he thinks they’re ghosts or something. Or like Herobrine incarnate—did you see the way he was glaring at Awesamdude the other day when he came by? It’s—I swear there’s something wrong with him, I’m not even joking. Really, really wrong.”

His own words burn a little in his mouth, and his brain summons up a memory: the dark of night outside, Tommy clinging to him with the fervor of a dying man, the sentence like an exploding firework, far off. You have to stay alive.

As if he thought Tubbo was planning to do anything differently.

It takes a second for Wilbur to speak.

“I’ve noticed,” he says, and the weight in his tone prevents Tubbo from feeling most of the relief the statement provokes. The relief that he’s not alone in this, that someone else has seen what he’s seen. “Since the night he gave up his discs.”

“Yeah,” Tubbo agrees, and then he falls quiet. For a moment, Wilbur doesn’t say anything else either, but then he sighs, leaning forward.

“Tubbo,” he says, in that way of his that means he’s about to make a pronouncement of some sort. Tubbo leans in too, mirroring him. “I will be completely honest with you. I was hoping that whatever’s wrong, Tommy was talking to you about it. Because he’s certainly not talking to me.”

He feels his hopes die in his chest. He hadn’t realized how much he wanted Wilbur to have an easy solution. Or a solution at all. Wilbur always seems to know what to do.

But not, it seems, in this case.

“He’s not,” he says, and now the words just taste sour. “He’s not talking to me. He’s never not talked to me. I don’t know what the hell is going on.”

Something flashes on Wilbur’s face, too quick to process.

“Neither do I,” he says, and grimaces. “I’m not fond of that. I imagine you’re not either. I wish I had an answer for you, Tubbo, but I—I’m worried about pressing him on this. He seems fairly quick to close himself off lately. I’m sure you’ve noticed that as well. And he’s not come to me with anything.”

Tubbo’s certain he’s not mistaking the note of despair in his voice. The words, not like he used to, go unspoken. In a way, it almost makes him feel a little better, that whatever this is, Tommy’s not trusting Wilbur with it, either, not trusting the man who he’s adopted as an older brother, and who has adopted him in turn. Or at least, it would make him feel a little better, if it weren’t so damn worrying.

If Tommy didn’t seem to be caught up in something beyond his understanding, or control.

“So I can only guess,” Wilbur continues after a moment. “I considered the idea that something else happened that night. Something he hasn’t told anyone. The only trouble with that is I don’t know what could have happened that he’d feel like he couldn’t share.” He pauses, and when he goes on again, his voice is softer. “He already gave up his discs. For—for all of us. For L’Manberg. I don’t know what would have been worse than that, for him.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “He didn’t—I mean, he didn’t die. He didn’t die, and no one else did, so I don’t—do you think this could be about the discs, still? I mean, those were important to him. To us. But to him most of all.”

Wilbur’s eyes flash again, and Tubbo notes idly that he doesn’t have his glasses on. He probably should—it strains his eyes to read without them, so Tubbo’s not sure why he wouldn’t be wearing them right now.

“Maybe,” Wilbur says. “Maybe that’s what this is. Though I wouldn’t have wanted him to—Tubbo, you know I wouldn’t have wanted him to, right? Under any circumstances. I never would have asked it of him, and especially not if I knew it would affect him this badly.”

“I know,” he says. He’s a bit surprised Wilbur feels the need to ask, but there’s an odd insistence in the question.

Maybe he’s just stressed. Prime knows they all have been, these past few weeks, and Wilbur most of all. He’s running in an election at the same time as running the actual country, and that’s got to weigh on anyone.

“The way he looks at me sometimes,” Wilbur says softly, shaking his head. “It’s as if—I don’t know. I shouldn’t—sorry, Tubbo, I don’t mean to ramble. You’ve got as much on your plate as any of us.” And Wilbur smiles, but for some reason, it feels fake. Plastered on. Like an expectation, the fulfillment of a role.

“I mean, yeah,” he says, shaking the oddness off. “But stuff about Tommy isn’t stuff that I’ve got to put on my plate, y’know? It’s just—important. Not something to check off a to-do list.”

Wilbur’s gaze softens. “I know,” he agrees. “I feel the same way. He’s my—well. You know.”

“Everyone knows,” he says.

“I can only hope,” Wilbur replies. He glances down at his desk, eyes flitting across his papers, the pen he’s set down, and then back up to Tubbo’s face. “But, Tubbo, if I can be completely frank, I think that out of everyone, you’ve got the best shot at getting him to talk to you. He’s—I mean, he’s your best friend, and you’re his, right? Part of a pair, you are. So even if he won’t—or doesn’t feel like he can talk to the rest of us, he might talk to you.”

“Maybe,” he says. “I haven’t had a lot of luck so far.” He frowns. “You really think he won’t say anything to you?”

He almost regrets the question, because it puts an expression on Wilbur’s face. Not a very nice one, and it’s gone in an instant, but for a second, he looks intensely sad. And between one blink and the next, it’s vanished, sort of like it’s a practiced motion, covering up things like that.

No, he’s reading too much into it. Surely.

They’re all so stressed. He can’t wait for the election to be over.

“I don’t know,” Wilbur says. “I don’t want to count on it. I sort of doubt—and this could all be a moot point, of course. Maybe he just needs more time, and we’re worrying about something that’ll blow over. It’s Tommy, after all. He’s always been so resilient. But that means he’s not going to talk about things until he’s ready to talk. If he truly doesn’t want to, we’re not going to be able to make him. All we’ll succeed in doing is making everyone miserable.”

“What do I do, then?” he demands. “I can’t just not do anything. He’s—you told me you saw it, too. There’s something wrong.”

“I know,” Wilbur says, voice rising. “I know, I’ve been telling you that I know. I don’t like it, Tubbo. I just—” He stops, breathes in, and Tubbo notices that his hands were clenched into fists and are now relaxing, fingers uncurling to rest on the desk’s wooden surface. “We can try to be there for him. Be ready when he comes to us. Let him know that he can, even if he doesn’t want to right now. That’s what we can do, if nothing else. I don’t like it. But we can’t force anything out of him, so that’s the best thing, I think. We be there, as much as he lets us. And when he finally tells us what the problem is, we kill it with fire.”

That last part, he’s on board with.

“Alright,” he says. “I’ll do my best.”

And it occurs to him that he never told Wilbur about what happened that night, when Tommy came to him. In tears, acting so strangely, his voice wavering and wobbling and his whole body shaking like a leaf.

But Tommy told him not to tell Wilbur. He specifically asked him not to, so while bringing his general concerns to him was one thing, sharing that would be another. He’s not willing to break Tommy’s trust like that. Not unless things get truly desperate.

He thinks they’re not quite to that point yet. He hopes they’re not quite to that point yet.

“I know you will,” Wilbur says. “I never doubt you, Tubbo. And I’ll do my best, too. I promise.” He smiles, and it’s not as warm as Wilbur’s smiles once were, he thinks. But it is genuine, if tired, if concerned, if ever so slightly strained. “We’ll get to the bottom of this.”

“Somehow,” he agrees. “Thanks, Wilbur.”

“Of course. You’re always welcome to come talk to me.”

It does make him feel a bit better, talking to Wilbur. Knowing that he’s not alone in his concerns, at least, and the fact that he’s got Wilbur on his side is always reassuring. Wilbur’s like a light in the dark, a bit, the leader that they all look to, and his advice is always sound, always manages to be at least a little bit comforting.

So he tries to take it.

He tries to be there for Tommy, even if it’s difficult, at times, to stop himself from demanding answers, from taking him by the shoulders and shaking him until he admits that there’s something the matter, until he reveals what he can do to help him. Difficult not to react when he flinches, or when he stares at someone like they’re either a miracle or a ghost or something else entirely, or when he disappears without a word of warning only to reappear a few hours later as if he never went anywhere at all.

It’s difficult, but he tries. And sometimes, it’s almost like normal. Sometimes, Tommy grins at him with a gleam in his eyes and a bounce in his step, and they go off to try and rob Sapnap or mess around a little with Ponk’s lemon trees or get back at Fundy for the latest annoying prank. Sometimes, Tommy’s all bluster and confidence and unwavering chaos, and it’s like nothing’s changed at all, even as the elections draw nearer.

Tommy’s been very diligent about those. He even wrote a lot of the regulations, with a seriousness that Tubbo didn’t know what to make of. But the rules have been working so far—everyone’s declared their campaigns, there’s been no unsavory endorsements, no signs yet of voter fraud or other such shenanigans, and everyone running is a citizen of L’Manberg.

Everything ought to be alright.

“Are you alright?” Tommy asks.

They’re fucking around around the base of one of Eret’s new towers. Tommy suggested griefing one, just a bit, as a little prank, but then backtracked the idea, so now they’re just hanging around. Eret’s not even here at the moment, he doesn’t think.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he says. “Just got a lot on my mind, is all. Elections and whatnot.”

Tommy snorts. “Don’t think so hard about it,” he says. “We’ve got this one in the bag. No way we don’t get the popular vote, so long as everyone does it by the book.”

“It’s making sure of that that’s the problem,” he says wryly. “It’s not as if we’ve got an impartial lawyer around here. I’d ask Big Q to help out, but Big Q’s got a vested interest in fucking around with things. At least I can pretend to be neutral. Sort of.”

Tommy makes a noncommittal sound. “You’re doing great, Tubs,” he says. “I’m telling you, this should go right.”

“I’m glad you’re confident,” he says, and squints up at the tower. It’s mostly stone, but nearer to the top, it seems that Eret has gotten a bit more elaborate. Gold glints in the afternoon light, just begging to be stolen. Maybe later, though, and only if Eret wouldn’t be too bothered.

“I’m glad I’ve got something to be confident about,” Tommy mutters, and he turns his head sharply. Tommy isn’t looking at him, is staring off at where the walls are visible, not too far from here. “I worked hard on this, you know. It’s fucking airtight, is what it is. I know what I’m doing.”

“You did a good job with all the rules,” he agrees. “I think Wilbur was impressed with how much thought you put into it.”

Tommy blinks, and then puffs his chest out. “He better damn well be,” he says. “I put so much thought. All of my thoughts, right there. So big and cool. I’m going to write a book of my thoughts, and it will be a bestseller, and everyone will read it and weep, that’s how poggers it will be.”

“They’ll weep, alright,” he says wryly. “Probably from the damage it will do to their eyes. And their brain cells.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Tommy says. “Not my fault you don’t understand genius.”

“Genius is a word,” he says. “You’re right about that. Not sure you know what it means.”

“Why are you the way that you are,” Tommy says, rolling his eyes with great vigor. And then, to Tubbo’s surprise, he grabs his hand. “C’mon, let’s just go—fucking sit somewhere or something, I don’t want to do shit right now. It’s been exhausting, innit?”

He’s on the verge of pointing out that they’ve got a whole place where they normally go and sit, but Tommy doesn’t seem to be thinking about their bench. He leads him a few paces away from the tower and then flops on the grass, laying on his back and staring up at the sky. Tubbo joins him after a moment, situating himself right next to him.

“We’re almost there,” he says after a moment. “We’re almost done with it. Maybe then we’ll be able to get some good sleep.”

Tommy snorts. “It’s never done, on this server,” he mutters. “There’s always something else. There’s always—” He breaks off. “But yeah, you’re right. It should get better, at least. One less thing to try and be thinking about, I suppose.”

It’s on the tip of his tongue to ask what else Tommy is thinking about. What else is on his mind. But the question won’t be welcome, and he’s trying to be open and inviting and supportive, not pushy, no matter how much he wants to be, so he refrains. And Tommy doesn’t say anything else, just lets out a long breath, so for a while, they’re just lying there on the grass, watching the clouds drift by.

It’s peaceful. He can almost forget that there’s so much going on.

And then Tommy speaks up again.

“If I were to get you a baby zombie piglin,” he says, musingly, as if he’s speaking to himself, “would it have to be any particular one? Or do y’think you’d be alright with any? Like, like replacing a goldfish or something?”

And somehow, that’s the breaking point.

“Okay,” he says, sitting bolt upright, “what the fuck?”

“What?” Tommy says. “It’s just a question.”

“No, it’s not,” he—says. He says. He’s not snapping. He’s not angry—but there’s something bubbling up, boiling over, and if it’s not anger, it’s frustration, at the very least. “It’s not just a question. It’s weird. You keep doing this. You say weird shit and you don’t explain any of it, and I’m left trying to figure out what the fuck you’re talking about, and you—you’re not talking to me, Tommy! You’re not telling me anything!”

Tommy sits up too, slowly, eyes wide, but he can’t bring himself to regret the outburst. Though maybe he will later.

“There’s nothing to tell,” Tommy starts, but he shakes his head hard, and the world blurs for a moment.

“That’s bullshit,” he says, and to his embarrassment, his voice cracks. “That is such bullshit. Do you honestly think I can’t tell something’s up? You can say that there’s not all you like, but that doesn’t change what you—you flinch when people get too close. You do weird things. You vanish and then come back without saying where you went, literally ever. You say shit that’s just—that’s just off. And then you try to brush it all off, but you can’t, you can’t brush this off, Tommy. Do you think I’m stupid?”

Tommy is completely, utterly silent. Tubbo tries to meet his gaze, but finds that he can’t, due to the fact that there are tears in his eyes, and everything is swimming.

“I just want to know what’s wrong,” he says, and doesn’t bother trying to disguise his misery. He’s gotten this far. Might as well let it all out. “I want to know what happened to you. I want you to let me help. I want you to tell me things, like you used to.”

“I can’t,” Tommy says, and his voice sounds alarmed, almost pleading, like he’s begging him to drop it. Well, he won’t. If he thinks he will, he’s got another thing coming. He’s let this drop too many times. Enough is enough. It’s time to push. “I can’t—there’s nothing going on, there’s not—not anything that’s a big deal or that you need to worry about, I just—”

“Stop lying,” he says. “Please, stop lying to me.”

Tommy goes quiet again. And that’s setting off all his head’s warning sirens, because Tommy never just goes quiet, but isn’t that just another thing to add to the list? Another response that isn’t as it should be? Mounting evidence that Tommy’s claim of being alright is just a bunch of horseshit?

“It was that night, wasn’t it?” he presses on, and his throat is closing up, but he chokes out the words anyway. It’s sudden, this sensation of being overwhelmed, but he’s powerless to stop it all from hitting. Powerless to keep himself from thinking about how there’s something wrong with Tommy, something wrong with his best friend in all the worlds, and Tommy won’t talk to him. “That night you came to me, and then you gave up the discs. Something else happened. Was it Dream? Did he do something? Or was it before that? Did something happen before you woke me up? Is that why you were crying? You’ve got to tell me, Tommy, please. I’m not letting this go. I shouldn’t have let it go before. I just thought—I thought you’d tell me, when you could, but you haven’t. You’ve been suffering, and I’ve just been watching.”

His voice cracks again. He can’t care.

“No,” Tommy says, almost a whisper. “No, Tubbo, no, that’s not it, there’s not—this isn’t something you can do anything about, Tubbo, that’s all. That’s all it is.”

“Do you not trust me, then?” he asks. “Is that it? Did I do something wrong?”

“No!” This is sharper, louder. “No—fuck, of course you didn’t. You haven’t done anything. You’re fine, Tubbo, it’s all fine, and I’m handling it. I’m doing alright.”

“But you’re not,” he says. “You’re not. You’re not alright.”

He blinks, hard, and the tears clear, finally. Tommy is staring at him, jaw slightly slack.

“I am,” he says, but Tubbo shakes his head again.

“You’re not,” he insists, before he can take that any further. “Why won’t you tell me about it? You know I won’t tell anyone else if you don’t want me to. You know that.”

“I know,” Tommy says. “I do know that, Tubs, c’mon—”

“But then why won’t you—”

“It’ll put you in danger,” Tommy snaps. “I’m not risking you!”

There are so many things he could say to that. Voicing the implication that whatever’s going on, it’s already put Tommy in danger, is high on the list, and it makes him sick to think that maybe Tommy just doesn’t care. Maybe he’s not paying any mind to the danger to himself, even as he worries about everyone else around him. But Tommy won’t listen if he says as much. He can tell already.

So he goes with his gut. Recalls the old conversation, puts together all the glances and the flinches and the stares when he thinks no one else is watching. Draws himself a picture, though he’s sure it’s still incomplete.

“Tommy,” he says, and tries to keep his voice level, steady, “I’m not going to die.”

Tommy’s face crumples like a wet sheet of paper, and there is a long pause.

“You don’t know that,” Tommy finally says, wavering and thready, and Tubbo doesn’t know why Tommy’s so scared, still. He doesn’t know what happened to make him fear this. And maybe he never will, if he can’t coax it out of him. But maybe that’s not so important at the moment, not more important than offering reassurance.

And that, he can do.

“I do know that,” he says. “Look, I’ll swear it right now. I’ll swear it on—L’Manberg itself. I’m not going to die.”

Tommy’s eyes go very pinched and squinty, and he bites down on his bottom lip, hard. Tubbo knows that look, so he extends his arms and tugs Tommy into him, into a hug, so that Tommy can cry without him seeing. He almost expects the embrace to be rejected, but after a moment of stiffness, Tommy melts against him, tucking his chin on his shoulder.

“You gotta have a little more faith in my abilities, man,” he says, aiming for some levity. “I’m not so easy to kill.”

“I do have faith in you, Tubbo,” Tommy mumbles.

“Then let me help,” he says, and decides that a compromise is in order. “Look, you don’t even have to tell me everything. Or anything. But if there’s something I can do, let me do it. Let me help you. Whatever’s going on, you don’t have to be on your own. You don’t have to handle it by yourself or whatever stupid bullshit you’ve been on about.”

“It’s not as easy as that,” Tommy says, still barely discernible.

“I think it could be,” he replies. “I think you’re overthinking it.” He holds Tommy a bit tighter. “And really, I’m not gonna die, big man. And even if I did, you wouldn’t be rid of me that easily. I’d come back as a ghost and haunt you for eternity. Move your shit around when you’re not looking.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Tommy whispers, “and I don’t know why.”

Okay, that’s—okay. He’s not going to mess up the progress he’s made, even though he’d dearly love to comment on whatever the fuck that means.

“Alright, then,” he says, “but are you hearing me? Can you do that? Let me in, just a little bit? ‘Cause I mean, really. You’ve got to be able to trust me to look after myself. I appreciate you trying to protect me or whatever you’re doing, but not if you’re hurting yourself doing it. And not if you’re being stupid about it. ‘Cause I’m not some fragile fucking flower, you know? So can you? Let me help?”

Tommy shifts a bit, but doesn’t attempt to pull back, so Tubbo takes that as permission to keep holding him.

“Okay,” Tommy says, after a minute, voice small. “Okay, I’ll—I still can’t, I can’t tell you much, but I’ll try. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you think that I—that I didn’t trust you or some shit, that’s not it at all—”

He sounds increasingly distressed, so Tubbo cuts in.

“That’s fine,” he says. “We’re okay. Just don’t shut me out, alright? Whatever I can do, let me do it. That’ll be enough for now.”

Whether it will always be enough is another question. But, baby steps. Baby steps.

“Okay,” Tommy says. “Alright. I’ll try.”

He’s still crying. Tubbo doesn’t comment on it. Not even when Tommy finally pulls back, and his eyes are red-rimmed, avoiding his gaze. Not even when they go back to L’Manberg together, Tommy staring straight ahead except for when he’s not, except for when he casts little glances over to him, as if to check that he’s still there.

Tubbo’s gotten more questions than answers out of this. But he’s also gotten a promise.

He’ll hold him to his word. And he’ll make a private promise of his own.

He won’t die. And Tommy won’t either. They’re both going to come out the other side, and everything really will be alright again.

#mcyt #dsmp #dream smp #tubbo #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #dsmp fic #/rp #cat writes fic #long post #time travel au #everything's still fine :D

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dynyamight · 3 years ago

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I've seen a lot of people do it, so if you are up for it~ Ship your moots!

FINALLY. THE AWAITED LIST OF MOOTS IS COMPLETE. sorry this took forever anon!!

now, this is going to be long & i will try not to overexplain my ship pairings. did i take time to think about each paring? yes. but, will they be serious? no. they are dumb & silly.

let the crack pairings begin <3!!

@dekusneakers x BAKUGOU & TODOROKI now you would think? sneakers in a throuple? how come? mmm simple. i couldn’t choose one for her so she gets both. the more the merrier. besides, she deserves love from both sides, kisses on both cheeks. one begrudgingly smooch & one icy kith. as a deku kin, she’s completely satisfied. you’re welcome

@izusun x AIZAWA & ORCA similarly, i can’t have my bestie here with just ONE babe. so, i thought why don’t we get a fatherly figure & a dad bod to give her all the love she needs. so yes, bestie, you two deserves hugs at both sides of you. a twiggy one & a muscly one. the sun needs some shade, & that shade is these men.

@midnightpirates x SUKUNA he’s a mass murderer !! you can’t— oh, but i can. you see, yanna here hates mahito & guess who was the one to fuck up his shit. ah, that’s right, it was sukuna. two mahito an/tis sitting in a tree <3 it’s the perfect match made in hell.

@goth-himbo-dabi x DOCTOR WHO once again, people might wonder: why not dabi? my answer? it’s because my bby here finds the twiggy men attractive. i know, bummer. & you can’t get any twiggy-er than david tennant & matt smith. but which doctor? all of them.

@minisheku x KAMINARI i see you simp for his dunce face. & honestly, who wouldn’t?? also, i originally put sheepku,, but that’s ,, a bit weird. but, here’s the solution. you OWN a sheepku, with kaminari. ah yes, a modern day family unit. & he can entertain you, as well as be a source of electricity for your drawing tablet !! resources !!

@oyavaski x EN you said he was hot literally in your tags earlier in a reblog. so, i am simply gifting you water to quench your thirst. may you two meet in afo, & fall in love in the subconscious of deku’s mind. will deku feel awks? yeah. but like pfft, he’s so whipped for bkg, he’ll forget you two chilling in the corner of his thoughts.

@okworstie x GOJO & WATARI i never have to look up the gojo tag, like ever. because you’re always plastering his face all over my timeline. & yes, this is a good thing. but, the same applies to watari. i have never even seen bakudiez, or whatever it’s called, but apparently he’s aro, & there’s a moth man, & tape hits post limit thursday’s? yeah just keep both, mimi.

@rrandomtthings x AN/TI as one of fellow loyal, amazing bkdks, i think it’s only fitting that you find true love with a bkdk an/ti. create the banti we seek in our community. the enemies to lovers trope is in your blood, written in your deku genes. so, i dedicate the banti movement with this small offering of a ship. may you find diamonds on the minecraft server & build a diamond cabin.

@believeyourgalaxy x ITADORI you two are such cinnamon rolls !!!! super friendly. super kind. super relatable. & together, you guys can pin over megumi. maybe hopefully, sam can help itadori with his low iq brain to finally get together with megumi. because damn, sam can be like “this is my boyfriend, itadori. & this is itadori’s boyfriend, megumi.”

@wrensknight x SHIRAKUMO i didn’t even know it was oboro birthday, until you not only made a public post about to, but made art for him. cloud boy needs that partner to respect & cherish him entirely. & you just treat him so right?? draw him so good?? i hope you can go cloud watching & then later, ride the clouds with him. till death do you guys uh,, you know,,

@b1m0 x MIDORIYA you can't stand when he gets injured, let alone reckless & trying to save the world, when he should literally be saving his own ass. but, that just means you care about him DEEPLY. plus, you both are wholesome people. obviously two cinnamon rolls make a whole bakery !! & who doesn't want a bakery ?? i sure do! wehjw idk why i brought the point here, but just know you two make sense.

@mysterionrising x RENGOKU & VIGILANTE DEKU it’s that enemies to lovers trope once again !! for someone who wrote him off as annoying the first seconds she met him, kenny sure flipped over to the stan side. ever since then, i can only see kenny when i see rengoku. but, you know who else reminds me of kenny. vigilante deku. it’s super fruity that you have an entire bomb playlist for him. so keep him too !!

@kamishima x KIRISHIMA you are the biggest kiri simp i have ever met. you basically ship kiri with anyone who makes him happy. though, you do have a lot of ships, but with kiri it’s different. & so, i was thinking ‘mmm, if bug ships kiri with so many people?? shouldn’t she ship him with HERSELF?’ boom. suddenly both kiri & bug are happy, with a lovely home. my work here is done.

@ckatsudon x LAW LIET did i dig through your blog. why yes. & you know what i found? reblogs & tags dedicated to L. he’s best boy. he’s precious. he deserves a better end. an end with you. mmhmm !! because if we rewrote death note, where you were light, i think L & light could have been canon. & that also would make you happy. & the rest of the entire world

@drfox-kinnie x UNIKITTY i don’t even know the show, let alone who unikitty is exactly. but, you reblogged a banner, confirming your love for unikitty. & so, i am of course doing you a big favor !! she’s bubbly, friendly, & passionate just like you !! & bestie, while i may not know nothing about her, i know you love her. so, maybe you two platonically have a wonderful time, adventuring with the other wholesome characters !! also,, is she big enough to travel on? if so, look i got you a cat car!!

@midorree x MINACHAKO i ship you with another ship. why? because i can. besides, you are like my moot who is genuinely a head leader of the minachako ship on my timeline, & you have steadily been converting me?? but, i also noticed that mina AND uraraka have stolen your heart, & you have yet to fight them for it back. i hope you three can go into a brawl & see who can grab each other’s hands fastest.

@kiribakuxkacchakolover x HATSUME YOU HAVE IT AS YOUR TITLE HEADER. like you are literally having a billboard that calls mei your cutie patootie. &, you ask, & you shall receive. i hope you two can be the dorkiest nerds together, & ramble for eons & eons. i hope i’m invited to the transformer wedding you two will have <,3

@balaroo x MIRUKO like before, you too have your interest out in the open in your title header. but, you see, miruko is a total babe, with confidence & ego & with this stride that makes even the most alpha male quiver. you would be a total wife to miruko’s girlboss energy & that’s why this ship totally works.

@quix-mix x FREDDY FAZBEAR my precious lil young moot, i dug into your blog & noticed you enjoy the fnaf games. & mmm are you perhaps wanting to cuddle a certain demonic teddy bear? well, i approve. he'll fall in love, head over heels, with your art, he might not possess you right away !! might. but, listen, you always do enjoy the villains (; i gotchu !!

@lonely-rabbit x LANCE you said we’re moots & i agree, we are. however, i have noooo idea what even are your preferences. so, i went digging. & it’s such a coincidence that we bonded over our voltron trauma, & yet you still continue to simp over lance. &, like i don’t blame you !!! he’ll always be dumb baby & so all i ask is that you love him, for our sake. & sanity.

#star responds #THIS TOOK FOREVER STILL #EVEN WITH MY SHORT EXPLANATIONS #but tadaaaa #the moots have now been complied #& ahajsbkssj i HOPE you all like your pairings. even the dumb ones <#I ALREADY KNOW SOME OF YALL WILL LAUGH LMAOO #otherwise if you want to roast me & what my pairing would be. pls feel free to do so #this was so fun omgg thank you anon for this opportunity!!#anon #moots

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