#I was talking about aesthetic pictures with one of my friends last night and I think that’s what messed my fyp up in the first place

[afterartist]

Instagram: we don’t listen to your conversations

Also Instagram:

(For clarification I had tried to reset my fyp 8 times before resorting to text messages)

(Censored my friend cause idk if they wanna be mentioned or not)

[iamred-iamyellow]

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Florida is One Hell of a Drug - [Part 2]

♥ prev | next

♥ series masterlist | main masterlist

♥ pairing: lando norris x fem!reader

♥ chapter two synopsis: lando hard launched his status as a girl dad, throwing all the fans into a loop. hopefully this visit to the miami gp will bring you closer two together as co-parents

♥ smau + written - fc: girls on pinterest + madison beer for paparazzi pics - none of the pictures are mine

♥ warnings: swearing and suggestive jokes !!!

♥ a/n: I'm literally honored that y'all have been enjoying this series. sorry it took me so long to write this part/chapter!

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 483,557 more

lilyzneimer 🤍

comments are limited

alexandra_saintmleux she's so cute 🥺

logansargeant I'll take a babysitting shift 🙋‍♂️

oscarpiastri I'm the favorite uncle piss off

logansargeant chill damn

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

Things between you and Lando were still pretty awkward. After all, if someone asked the two of you the night you hooked up where you’d be in a year, a flight to Miami with your newborn baby would not be your answer. You didn’t trust him very much yet, but who could blame you? You expected him to do everything in his power to stay away from you and Camila. But here he was, flying the two of you out to watch him race. Lando really wanted to prove to you that he was all in. That he wasn’t going to take off running the minute things got hard for you two as co-parents. 

You were extremely grateful that Oscar and Lily were on the same jet as you. This made the atmosphere not too uncomfortable. Lily was rocking Camila in her arms as her and Oscar talked a little about Mark Webber. You debated whether you should jump into their conversation after having an extensive f1 research night with your best friend the day before, but you decided to just sit in silence.

You caught Lando staring at you and let out a sigh. This was going to be a long flight.

-

He scanned the keycard to a nice suite in the same hotel the grid was staying in.

"This will be your room," he said, wandering inside. "Don't worry about where Camila will sleep, the hotel provided a crib."

"Thank you," you said genuinely. He was trying to be thoughtful.

"If you need anything, you have my number." Lando said before leaving the room.

You sat on the edge of your bed and pulled out your phone to check your notifications.

They already found you? And they thought you were a wag? Damn the paparazzi is quick.

liked by user2, user7, and 3,493 more

user6 I found y/n’s instagram before it went private. How is she so gorgeous?

view comments

user8 I’m obsessed with herrrr

user12 she’s so aesthetic

user4 new favorite wag

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

-Race Day-

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

The last 20 laps of the race were driving you absolutely insane. You watched closely as Lando started to pull away from Max second by second. Your leg was shaking and you wondered why this was so nerve racking.

19 laps left. 18 laps left. 15 laps left. 10 laps left. 5 laps left.

1 lap left.

The crowd and garage erupted with cheers as Lando crossed the line in P1. You heard him screaming on the radio and couldn't help but smile. Lando Norris, the father of your daughter, is now a Formula 1 race winner.

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, yourusername and 689,472 more

mclarenracingf1 P1 BOYSS

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user6 LANDO’S A GIRL DAD 😭

user8 his gf is so pretty

user10 SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

user5 babe wake up Lando just hard launched his status as girl dad

user7 HE'S NOT THE STEP DAD HE'S THE DAD THAT STEPPED UPP

user3 @/user7 PREACH

user2 never change, mclaren admin

user1 screaming, crying, throwing up

user9 lets go lando, lando is ok

user11 lets go lando, he is here to stay!!!

user4 he has a daughter 🥺

user12 my heart belongs to the dads of the grid

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

-Post Race Driver Reactions-

“Lando, great race. How does it feel to not only get your first win but have your daughter and partner here with you?" 

“Oh uhm, she’s not my partner.” he pressed his lips together. “But, yeah it feels great. It’s been a long time coming but we finally got the win. I hope I made my daughter and the fans proud today.”

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by logansargeant, landonorris, lilyzneimer, and 493,559 more

yourusername logan got me a bouquet 🥰 oh also oscar got camila some stuff too

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logansargeant @/oscarpiastri look who's the favorite uncle now

user7 please 😭

user4 the girls are fightinggg

user3 she made her account public again yay <3

user9 ok but that's so cute :(

user8 loscar as uncles >>>

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

You and Lando walked through the sliding doors of the 5 star hotel you were staying at.

"Some of the other drivers and I are gonna go out tonight if you'd like to come? I'm sure they wouldn't mind." he rubbed the back of his neck.

You nodded towards Camila who was in your arms as a silent "I have to take care of her."

He pulled his phone out quickly, “I’m sure I can find someone who can-”

“No, it's ok. Go enjoy yourself.” you said, shaking your head and pushing his phone back down. “Not too much, though. Don’t want you ending up with another unplanned kid.”  

The comment took Lando aback but drew a laugh out of him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Congrats on your win.” you smiled, walking back to your room.

-

Later that night you laid down in your hotel room bed, scrolling through your feed. Dozens of pictures and videos of Lando popped up. Camila made a squealing noise in the portable crib beside you.

"I know, right?" you said to her with a laugh.

You stared at one picture that he looked particularly good in. You couldn't pretend like he wasn't attractive.

"Alright," you sighed, and placed your phone down. "Goodnight, mija." you leaned over, kissed her forehead, and switched off the bedside lamp.

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

taglist; @hc-dutch, @papaya-twinks, @2pagenumb, @formulaal, @erin-odonnell04, @drunkinthemiddleoftheday, | @kissesandmartinis, @ironmaiden1313, @six-call, @wolflover384, @tremendousstarlighttragedy, | @ilivbullyingjeongin, @celestialend, @silentreader128, @wolflover384, @ellesssssxzxz | @clowngirlsstuff, @ln4smiamitrophy, @whoneedsgeorge, @chezmardybum, @warlike-morning, | @gigicisneros, @hard4ndsoft, @eveninggstar, @jolixtreesunn, @acesofspadess,| @formulaonebuff, @notpeachybby, @shesmugirl, @mxdi0, @ririyulife, | @kravitzwhore, @bellinghambby22, @helaenatargaryensfavoritebug, @maplesyrupsainz, @harrysdimple05, | @pippyth3hippy, @noneofyourfbusinessworld,

@littlegrapejuice, | @majx00, | @si1ver06

[catlvrmax]

RACE DAY & NIGHTCLUBS.

MV1 X FEM!READER

summary it's race day! you and amara decide to spend your sunday night out in the city. you make new friends in the process.

cw ONE use of [Y/N] - it was inevitable. idk the deets of how f1 works exactly, but i tried. this is a work of fiction: i don't know these people irl, i don't know how they act. NON-DESCRIPTIVE READER.

face claims girls on pinterest, but you can obviously disregard them, and imagine whoever you want. (the pictures are for aesthetic purposes.)

a/n i feel like the alonso scene is kinda useless but idk i put it in ite.

masterlist | taglist

—

"I'm so excited!" Amara squealed as you grabbed her wrist to keep her close.

Today is race day. You woke up early, buzzing with anticipation. Amara tried to (poorly) contain her excitement and constant giggles until you had at least one cup of coffee in your system but failed ten minutes into breakfast. You don't blame her—she loves the sport.

She also loves the drivers. Loves the gossip and the drama on and off track. A new thing she has picked up, one you really want to put a stop to, is teasing you about a certain Dutchman. It was already bad enough that your conversation kept replaying in your head, and her playful teasing increased the thoughts of the two-time world champion.

You tolerated it on the walk to the circuit, rolling your eyes at her dreamy sighs and romantic scenarios, which she mostly made up to annoy you but changed the subject as you approached your destination. You refused to look or sound like a crazy fangirl in case... well, in case of actually running into him.

Arriving at the circuit and checking in the paddock had been a nightmare. You and Amara were not huge fans of crowded places you more than her, and the heat of the sun beating down on you made it ten times worse. Alas, you finally found yourselves away from the masses and around the corner of the Aston Martin hospitality building.

Amara was not paying attention to where she was going, and you were listening intently to the plans for the day. At the last minute, you saw a green shirt from the corner of your eye. You pulled on her wrist, and she stumbled towards you, but not before softly colliding with the side of the tall man in the green shirt.

"Oh, shit. ¡Lo siento, señor!" The apology comes in Spanish. (I am sorry, sir!)

"Esta bien, señorita? I was not looking in my path." You try to catch your jaw from falling to the ground when you eye the Green Shirt Guy. (Are you okay, miss?)

That's Fernando fucking Alonso. Fernando Alonso, the man you may or may not have a tiny crush on, is helping Amara stand up after she bent over to grab her discarded water bottle.

"Ah, si. Lo siento, señor Alonso. Estaba mostrando a mi amiga alrededor—"

"It's you from yesterday, no?! The girl with the great, uh, Spanish skills!" He talks to her as if they've known each other for years.

You stand there stunned, trying to compose yourself as your F1 crush stands before you, casually conversing with your best friend. Amara must be ready to explode right about now. You would laugh if you weren't fighting the urge to scream and run around from the joy.

You hear your name fall from Amara's lips, and your gaze focuses back on them. "That's my best friend. I gave her the hat!"

Fernando nods, his gaze on you as a polite smile causes his dimples to appear. You show him the signed Aston Martin cap by tilting your head.

"Amara said you are a big fan. I appreciate it. Do you want to take a photograph?"

"Uh-Yeah! Yeah, I'd love to!" You take your phone out. Oh-em-gee. Oh-em-gee. Is this really happening? "It's nice to meet you, sir!" You can feel the heat radiating off your cheeks.

Fernando, being taller than you, asks for your phone. He raises it above your head and takes a couple of selfies. You muster the brightest smile, copying his funny faces and poses. When he hands it back, thank yous stumble from your lips faster than any car on the grid.

"Mucha suerte para ti hoy!" (Best of luck to you today!)

Fernando laughs but bows his head in appreciation. "Muchas gracias, querida." He turns to Amara, who's watching you both with a smile. "Enjoy the race, girls!"

And with that, he's walking away. You and Amara stand still for a few seconds, watching him disappear around the corner. You lock eyes, jaws on the floor. Squeals escape the both of you as you grab each other for support.

"Oh, my fucking God! We just—I—You—"

"I talked to Fernando fucking Alonso, and you took a photo with him. Shit!" Her tone betrays her disbelief.

"Oh, pinch me, 'mara, because this can't possibly be fucking real!" You cup your red cheek with one palm. "He remembered you. That's crazy!"

Amara giggles. "We talked in Spanish yesterday, and he told me he was impressed by my fluency!"

You smack her arm, suppressing a smile. "What? Why didn't you tell me all of that!? From past experiences, your Spanish has been shit."

She gasps dramatically, feigning offence. "How dare you, missy?! My Spanish is almost perfect. I just happened to get nervous around native speakers!"

You laugh and raise your hands in surrender, muttering my bad. Amara links her elbow with yours. "Are you ready to watch twenty cars go in weird-shaped circles?"

"Yup," you answer, popping the p before pulling her towards the building you will be watching from. "He is hotter in person." You cannot help but add.

Amara rolls her eyes but hums in agreement.

—

"Max Verstappen wins the Spanish Grand Prix! Another flawless performance by the current World Champion!"

You can't help but smile as the camera cuts to his team celebrating. Amara claps in delight, gathering her scattered things from the table to put inside her bag. The VIP room you watched the race from is slowly emptying as everyone walks down to where the celebration will take place. Amara wants to go and get as close as she can to the front, so she can take pictures of the podium. Lewis Hamilton came second, followed by George Russell, and your best friend was beaming and eager to see the podium from up close.

"You don't have to come with me. It's pretty tight there, with the crew, and fans, and stuff." You nod, thankful to her for not forcing you to tag along. "You can wait by the Red Bull hospitality. I think it's closer to the exit." She pauses as you stand from your seat. "And who knows. Maybe a Dutchman will pass by, and you deliver on your plan."

You huff at her wiggling eyebrows. "Seems kind of impossible since Max is celebrating on the podium, 'mara. You have a better chance at meeting him." You snort at her deflated expression.

"Oh, yeah, you're right." She shrugs. "Well, who knows? You might bump into each other again."

"I highly doubt that. Now, give me everything you don't need. I'll put it in my bag. I don't want you losing anything in that crowd."

Amara hands you her handbag and kisses you on the cheek before walking away. You're the only guest in the room now, accompanied by the bartender on the other side of the room. You contemplate staying here or leaving for the Red Bull hospitality. The track fills with fans, as is the ground below the podium. Lewis and George are already there, which means that—

"Here's Max Verstappen, the winner of this year's Spanish Grand Prix." Crofty, the commentator, announces the champion's arrival at the podium's top step.

He looks handsome, with a smile decorating his face and high cheekbones glistening with sweat. He waves at the crowd and takes his Pirelli hat off. His hair is messy, but it just makes him look hotter. Wow. You need to stop, or you'll salivate all over the bloody floor. You turn away from the TV as the Dutch national anthem starts playing.

One thought keeps repeating as you walk out of the building and to the sunny paddock. Max Verstappen is undoubtedly handsome.

—

You're aimlessly pacing in front of the Red Bull building, skipping through the pictures you'd taken. Most of them were of Amara posing in front of different buildings, eating or walking. You don't notice a chest heading your way until it's too late, and you collide. Ouch, you mumble as you rub your forehead.

"We should stop meeting like this." You recognise the voice immediately. How could you not? The man has been plaguing your thoughts.

Your heart is racing. You don't meet Max's eyes at first, hoping that a simple apology will make him walk away. "Oh, sorry. Wasn't paying attention."

"Are you lost again? Do you need help?" Max is quick to offer, but you shake your head negatively.

A hand comes forward, a featherlight touch on your elbow. You finally meet his gaze, rubbing on the spot that stings. What the fuck is he made of? Rock? His eyes hold concern as they rake over your face.

"What are you made of? Rock or something? That stung!" You offer a shy smile and a joke, for his worried expression makes your palms sweat.

He returns the smile. "Hey! You were the one not paying attention."

You shrug. "I was looking through the photos I've taken." You raise the old camera for him to see.

"Oh, yeah? Any cool ones?" He asks, stepping closer to you to see.

You notice a man behind the driver, wearing a Red Bull polo and an impatient expression. Anxiety sparks at your chest. He's got somewhere to be. Leave him alone. "Don't you have media duties to attend? You did just win a race." His smile turns guilty at your words.

"Yeah. I've got to change from this," he points at his racing suit," and attend interviews." He doesn't look too excited to do so.

"Well, then, I shouldn't be keeping you." You move a step back, nervously glancing at the other man.

Max does as well, the flush on his cheeks bolder than before. He opens his mouth, and you watch him have an internal war with himself before he decides to voice whatever thought he has. He motions to the man to go ahead without him. I'll be there in a minute, he mutters.

"I'd love to see those photographs."

Your eyes widen in surprise, and you know you look like a fish as your mouth opens and closes. Your face heats up. "Uh—They're really nothing special. This is an old camera."

Max shrugs. "Why don't you give me your number? I can be the judge of that." Oh, shit. You nod.

He does an immaculate job of looking confident as if this isn't affecting him. A pretty girl agreed to give him his number. It's dangerous for a person with the number of young fans he has to give his phone number to a stranger, but he feels he can trust you. You haven't given him a reason to think you might be a crazy fangirl.

"D'you have a pen? I don't have my phone with me." You nod, rummaging through your handbag to find the emergency glittery pink pen.

Once you pull it out, Max can't help but comment on it. "Nice colour." You send him a playful glare.

He stretches his palm, and you softly pull his fingers closer. You scribble down your number, writing your first and last name underneath it. Max feels remorseful for not even having asked you your name. He knows that you no doubt know who he is now. He repeats it, and your breath hitches. He says it so perfectly, you might melt in a puddle. Caaaaaalm down. You sound insane. He's just stating your name.

"Pretty name," he thinks out loud. You don't believe you were meant to hear that, yet your face grows a shade darker.

Before you can say anything, the man shouts his name from the building's door. "Come on, mate! You're going to be late!" You can see the disappointment Max feels from his deflated smile.

"I have to go. Media duties." You chuckle when he rolls his eyes and nod. "I'll, uh, text you. For the pictures." He takes a step back, eyes locked with yours.

"For the pictures, yeah."

His face is flushed. You blame the race he just won. It's a poor excuse to give someone your number, no matter how famous they might be, yet you did. Amara will have a field day with this information. You half expect her to revive her old Tumblr account for the sake of acting on her scenarios.

"Bye." You wave, and he waves back, exchanging bashful smiles.

You watch his figure approach the man by the door when it hits you. "Oh, Max!" He turns quickly, eyes searching for yours. "Congratulations on your win!"

His eyes crinkle from the smile that he gives you. "Thank you!" He adds your name, and you don't deny it this time; Max Verstappen is extremely handsome, especially when he smiles.

—

MESSAGES: two. From > unknown number.

unknown number

hey, it's Max!

Verstappen. The guy in

the RB shirt.

you

hm... i don't know anyone

with this name. sorry!

max verstappen

Two-time world champion?

you

nope.

never met any world champions

in my life, sorry.

max verstappen

I helped you yesterday

and saw you today outside of

the RB hospitality.

This is [Y/N], right?

you

🤣 yes!

i'm just messing with you max!

max verstappen

*phew* had me thinking you

gave me the wrong number

you

*dramatic gasp*

i am NOT that cruel, mr verstappen!

btw, i havent transferred the photos yet!

camera's charging.

max verstappen

That's totally okay!

Soooo, what are you doing tonight?

you

contemplating whether i should share my

whereabouts with a random man....

max verstappen

HEY! you've met me!

two times already!!!

you

and how do i know this is the REAL

Max Verstappen????????

max verstappen

....you gave me your phone number.

you

oh, yeah. that makes sense.

i'm very sleep deprived haha

max verstappen

😂😂

you

Soooo, what are you doing tonight?

  ↪ to answer your previous question,

me and my bff are going clubbing

in Barcelona!

max verstappen

Oh, that sounds fun!

you

i'm secretly terrified of getting lost

in the city, but hey! i'm only here for another

night. might as well have fun

plus, i've heard Spaniards party hard!!!!!

max verstappen

plus, i've heard Spaniards party hard!!!!!

   ↪ THAT'S TRUE. Carlos is an

expert in all things nightclub when we're

here for the GP

you

you have any places to recommend?

amara is still looking on trip advisor

max verstappen

😨 TRIP ADVISOR?

you

WELL WE HAD TO START SOMEWHERE

max verstappen

the Vault is a really great place. Great

drinks and the DJ plays nice songs.

You should try that one!

you

i'm guessing it's expensive

as fuck

max verstappen

not as expensive as it is packed

BUT there's always the Disco Diva

and other clubs down that street

you

max verstappen, you know your

clubs, i see.

(the disco diva? really?)

max verstappen

you caught me ahahahahah

(the disco diva? really?)

   ↪ it plays really cool stuff

you

it plays really cool stuff

   ↪ i trust ur judgement.

so what are YOU, race winner, doing

tonight?

max verstappen

how do I know I'm not giving away

my location to a super crazy

fangirl?

you

you dont! YOU wanted MY number.

soooo.... 🤷🏻‍♀️

max verstappen

LOL. you're funny.

so what are YOU, race winner, doing

tonight?

  ↪ I was thinking of gaming, but the

boys want to party.

you

WELL, YAH! you totally deserve to let loose!

max verstappen

Hm, I might think about it.

Ha! Maybe we'll find each other in the club!

you

hahahahah it would be pretty embarrassing

if i ran into you again.

for the third time.

have fun with whatever you choose

to do, Maximus Verstappen.

max verstappen

that is definitely NOT my first name.

but i thank you, schat 😁

seen, now.

—

"Who are you talking to?" Amara asks, her eyes glued on TripAdvisor.

"H-Huh?" You barely register her words, fingers tapping on your screen incredibly fast.

"You've been giggling for, like, ten minutes now. I'm assuming it's not your mom. She's probably having lunch."

"Oh, you know. Just this guy I bumped into today. You might know him. His name's Max. Ma—"

"Fucking Verstappen?!" Amara all but yells, sitting up swiftly.

Your eyes meet her shocked expression, and you can't help the chuckle that escapes at her priceless reaction. You shrug in response, feigning nonchalance. Truth is, your best friend has hyped this guy up a lot, and your poor heart beats somewhat faster now that you're talking to him.

"You told me to get his number, didn't you?"

"W-Well—Yeah. But I didn't actually think you'd do it!"

You gasp as if offended. "You dare think so little of me? Think that I wouldn't honour my promise to feed your delusions?"

Amara laughs, lightly smacking your arm. "Okay, weirdo. Tell me what the fuck happened."

After pushing yourself to a sitting position, you tell her every detail of your second meeting with the world champion, including the texts. Amara's reactions are comical. At the end of your story-telling process, she's sitting there, with her jaw mere inches from touching the ground.

"So, do you think we'll meet him in that nightclub?"

You shrug. "I don't know. He said he'd think about it." You show her your phone, scrolling to the text he had sent you mere minutes ago. "Doesn't sound that eager to me."

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to go by the Vault, or whatever its name was." Amara wiggles her eyebrows.

"Are you trying to get me laid with a celebrity?"

She grimaces. "Pfft. He's hot. You're pretty. If you take out the millions on Instagram—" "—and his bank account." Amara shoots you a pointed look. "He looks like a pretty normal guy." She exhales before continuing. "You should have fun. We didn't come here just for me. And he seems like a lot of fun."

Amara wasn't wrong. Yes, you had come here for the Grand Prix, which was her thing, but there was plenty of time for you to have fun. And if fun meant drinking and meeting with an extremely handsome guy, who were you to refuse? You'd probably never see him again, either.

—

views 96 / views 242

—

"Finally!" You shout excitedly.

After waiting for a solid thirty minutes in a very long line outside of Club Vault and paying an entry fee that you're sure is way too expensive, you have finally made it inside. The place is flooded with people drinking, dancing, and talking. The lights are dim, and the music loud; a promising, fun night.

You barely dodge swaying on the dancefloor as Amara drags you to the bar. She orders for you while you look around. The DJ and his setup is on a balcony, above which there is a VIP sign. You squint your eyes as another face comes into view. Is that...Lando Norris?

You blindly reach for Amara, turning her around by the wrist. "Hey, isn't that Norris?"

Despite the ear-deafening music, you're able to hear your best friend's gasp. "Oh, my fucking God! Yes, that's him!" She looks at you, a knowing smile on her lips. "Does that mean that he's here—"

"I don't know!" The bartender nods at you, showing you your drinks. "Let's drink!"

And that's exactly what you do. Your drinks are cold enough to help with the heat of dancing, and you can't lie, Lando—with the help of the actual DJ—plays decent music. Max was right about the place being fun. Amara is doing her weird dance moves, and you're copying her, trying to best her.

You're two drinks in, back turned to the DJ booth, when your best friend's eyes widen, dance moves faltering, and you hear everybody cheer. She elbows you to turn around, and your breath hitches: it's Max. He's actually here with Lando and the DJ. And your heart is racing with excitement. He waves at the crowd below, and everyone cheers louder.

Your lip twitches as an idea forms in your mind. Taking your phone out of your boot (an extremely smart and safe place to hide it—if it fits—btw), you snap a picture of the champion, sending it to your chat.

—

MESSAGES: two. To > max verstappen.

you

one file attached.

just found your lookalike!

max verstappen

THATS ME! WhEere are yoU?!?!8@

you

how much have you had to drink? lol

max verstappen

not drunk .

just shvoing past poepel to get to you

where re uoy?????

you

by the bar

max verstappen

real helpful

you

im wearing black?

seen, now

—

You wait a couple of seconds for the grey bubble to appear. When you don't receive a response, you shrug, putting your phone back in its hiding spot. Your gaze focuses on Amara; she's biting her lip while holding two shots in each hand.

"I stole them!" is all she says.

Your jaw drops, and you giggle, accepting the tiny glasses. You yell cheers before chugging down both of them. Tequila. Nice.

You take a step back, eyes blinking away tears caused by the burn in your throat. You don't realise you've stepped into someone's toes until a shout almost bursts your eardrums.

"Jesus Christ!" You yell, covering the side of your head.

Turning around, you're faced with the one and only; Max Verstappen, holding on to the bar railing with a pained expression. Your eyes almost bulge out of your skull.

"Oh, shit! Are you okay?" You can barely hear yourself.

He nods, throwing a smile your way. "Yeah, I'm good! It's nice to see you!" You're barely able to read his lips.

A pinch on your lower back startles you, and you turn around with a gasp. Amara's standing there, expectant, wide eyes moving from you to Verstappen.

"Oh, Max! This is my best friend, Amara!"

She smiles politely, shaking his offered hand. "Nice to meet you!" You wonder if she's close to passing out from internal fangirling.

His eyes return to you. "Hey, you wanna join my table?"

Shaking your head with a confused grimace, you shout. "I can't hear anything you're saying!"

"What?!"

"I can't hear any—"

It's futile to communicate this way, he decides. Max's slightly cold hands are suddenly pulling on your wrists, gently guiding you closer to him. Goosebumps take over your entire body, forearm burning as he moves his fingers to your elbow, keeping you steady, and he leans toward your ear.

"Wanna join me and my friends?" He feels your breath hitch and pulls back to meet your hesitant gaze.

"We don't want to bother you," you say once you pull him down.

Max shakes his head. "Nonsense! I won the race, and I want to celebrate with my friends."

He hears your breathy chuckle. "We're friends, now?"

"Unless you're some super crazy fangirl I should be worried about." The smile in his voice gives away his amusement. He's quoting his texts.

You pause for a second. Knowing Amara, she would agree immediately. You should have fun, you recall her words from earlier. And he seems like a lot of fun. Yeah. She's right.

"Let me ask 'mara." You point to your best friend, awkwardly standing by the bar.

He watches you talk in her ear, a smile forming on your best friend's lips before she eagerly nods. "You're coming?" He asks once you approach him as if he hadn't been staring at you already.

"Okay." As soon as you nod, Max's smile widens, eyes shining.

You nod, and he feels his cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. "C'mon," goosebumps raise on your exposed arms as Max grabs your hand. His hand is so soft. "I don't want you getting lost." The wink he throws your way only fuels the flush on your neck and cheeks.

It's definitely going to be a fun night.

The walk to the VIP section is extremely difficult, with Max getting recognised and patted on the back every few seconds. When you finally make it, you sigh in relief before Max pulls you both by the wrist to meet his friends. Be cool, you mouth to Amara who only nods, wide-eyed.

"Pierre and Kika, Charles and Alex, this is [Y/N] and Amara!" You're sure they can barely hear him over the loud music but wave at them anyway. Charles shares a look with Pierre, the latter unable to contain his smile.

Max leans down, his nose brushing your temple. "Wait just a moment. Lando's around here somewhere." Before you can say a word, he flashes you a smile and disappears into the crowd, leaving you gaping like a fish.

You have no time to recover when the pretty girls approach you. Alex introduces herself as Alexandra, but she doesn't mind going by Alex. Kika's name is Francisca, but she goes by Kika. It's nice to meet them, and you don't hesitate to tell them so.

"Shots?" Amara reappears with four shot glasses passing them to each of you. "Cheers!" You clink your glasses before downing them.

"Oh, are you doing shots without me?!" A new voice pops up from behind you. Amara's eyes widen momentarily, meeting yours in poorly contained excitement.

You turn, gaze landing on Lando Norris and then gluing on Max Verstappen. This lighting makes him look even hotter. Is it normal to be thinking that? Probably not.

He introduces you to the tipsy-looking Brit, who shakes your hands in return. Amara's pulled to the side by Kika, something about doing more shots, and Charles motions for Max to go over to him. Once you're alone with Lando, a smile breaks onto his face.

"He's said a lot about you!" Your brows furrow, confused.

"What? That I tend to get lost easily in big places?" You nervously laugh, but Lando just shakes his head.

"Somethin' like tha'!"

—

views 120 / views 218

—

You haven't had this much fun in a while. You and Amara usually go to two clubs as a duo, but you admit having more people to dance and do shots with is way more fun. You're usually the sober one, having a higher tolerance for alcohol than your best friend, and this time you're extra careful since you're in a foreign place.

At some point during your dance battle with Kika and Amara, you grow tired. As much as you liked exaggerating your moves, your boots were made for walking, not jumping. Max had been out of your vision for a while, and you decided to look for him. He wasn't hard to find, considering he was nursing a drink on a couch further away from the action.

"Hey!" You plop down, bumping your elbow with his.

Max grinned. "Hey, stranger. Are you having fun?"

You nod excitedly. "Your friends are really nice." He snorts at that. "No, really! Drive to Survive does justice to none of you!"

Max's eyes widen, mouth hanging in shock. "Your source of information is a Netflix show?"

"Hey! I had to start from somewhere. I knew next to nothing about racing."

Conversing with Max comes naturally. He's funny, and he listens to what you have to say. He asks about your job: a photographer for brands. He laughs when you tell him you prefer the make-up brands because they're easier to manage than people.

He explains racing to you in simple terms. You nod along, trying your best to take in the information. It's harder with all the music and dancing bodies, but you make it work. You've shuffled even closer to him as Max leans down to talk directly in your ear while his hands move animatedly in front of you.

At some point, the conversation shifts to cats. You're delighted to learn that he has not one, but two big babies. Jimmy and Sassy. Max is a very proud cat dad, you conclude, from the excitement that exudes from every pore of his body as he slides from picture to picture.

"Oh my goodness! They're so cute!" You try not to literally squeal as Max stumbles upon a picture of them napping on his chest.

"They sleep all day and ask for treats all night." You laugh as he rolls his eyes, probably recalling every time this has happened.

"Oh, I'd love to meet them one day. They look lovely!"

"Yeah, I could introduce you someday," he says, and you turn to look at him with a huge smile.

"I should bring my Cheddar when it happens."

"Cheddar?"

"My cat. He's a big fluffball." You reach for your phone, unlocking it to search for pictures of your orange cat.

"And you named him Cheddar? After the cheese?" He looks at you incredulously.

You giggle at his expression. "He's as orange as the cheese. It was my mom's idea to name him that."

You turn your phone his way, showing him a selfie of the fluffiest cat Max has ever seen on top of your shoulders. You're clearly giggling in it, a hand over your mouth. Cute, he thinks.

"He's adorable."

"And fat," you add.

Tapping a most recent picture, you show it to Max. Cheddar is on his back, his fat ass making him look like a pear. Your mom had sent you this just a day before.

"He's staying with my mom right now. And she's feeding him more than needed."

"We should arrange a playdate." You chuckle at Max's suggestion.

"Sure, if you fly out to England."

Before Max can respond, a very loud and drunk Brit makes his way to you. Lando grins when he spots you two sitting close, indiscreetly winking at Max. Your face feels warm.

"Do you guys wan' t' leave?" You barely make out his words.

Charles notices the three of you and pulls a dancing Alex with him, who pulls Amara with her. The three make their way to where you're seated.

"What are you guys talking about?"

Lando turns to him. "Are you hungry, mate?"

Charles shakes his head, leaning close to Alex to ask her the same. She also shakes her head with an apologetic smile.

"I am!" Amara nudges Lando, and his eyes light up.

He turns to Max and you. "Me and my new friend," he pulls Amara by the shoulders, and she drunkenly stumbles, "are hungry. Will you take us somewhere to eat?"

You look at Max, who mirrors your smiling expression. Lando says something about Max promising to be his chauffeur if he got too drunk.

"I could eat," you shrug. Max nods, agreeing.

He stands up, looking at the drunk pair. "Okay, let's go."

—

views 68 / views 95

[ taglist @alexmarie29 , @angelfreckless, @algae-tm, @chonkybonky, @lovely-blackinnon, @namgification, @taygrls, @ssprayberrythings, @ilove-tswizzle, @leclercdream, @halleest, @yaesflorist, @liafterhours, @mrsbrxkkxr ]

[cvnt4him]

i would request monoma x reader bc I'm literally going crazy about him but idk-- OMG NVM MONOMA X KIND/SOFT READER

BITCH ME TOO WHEN I TELL YOU HE FR GOT ME FOAMING OUT THE MOUTH LIKE IM A RABID ASS DOGGGG.

You know you wrong as hell for that picture tho.. bc why he look so goofy, bones js doing my man wrong this season😞

...........................................

*˖°My heart.°˖*

...........................................

"I don't get what you even see in him, my love."

Mina scolds as she finishes crocheting your last butterfly loc into your hair.

It was 4 AM, you both had school in a couple hours and she had been doing your hair since 12 o'clock. Your head was pounding and was going to be throbbing for the next week. You can only imagine how bad it'll be once you put your hair into a ponytail...

You sigh from relief knowing that was the last braid you had to endure. She puts muse all over your hair, the soft yet cold air like foam covering your hair as she gently slides her hands down each braid costing it in the pleasant and calming scented hair applicator.

You stand and stretch deciding to just put your bonnet on without putting your hair up so you can just head straight to bed, not that you'd get much sleep since school started in like what less than an hour and a half? What's the point in even trying to sleep.

"he makes me laugh. he's a gentleman, he--"

"gentleman my ass."

She cuts you off with a scoff straightening up all of the things she used to do your hair, putting them away and washing the icky foam texture off of her hands.

"okay first of all, don't you ever in your life; he's a sweetheart, really he is. and I don't need you questioning my choices, you're like a sister to me so please for the love of God just fucking trust my choices for once, yeah?"

She hums and rolls her eyes putting her bonnet on and getting under her leopard printed covers. She sighs and wishes you a good night as you leave and head back to your dorm.

All you could think about while getting ready for school was how rude mina was. Sure he was quite unpleasant to your classmates but he's a sweet guy to you!! Well no.. he's just less of an asshole. You noticed that Everytime he would say some smartsss remark to your peers he wouldn't say anything even remotely bad to you. He wouldn't even look at you. It's like there was something about you that just made him go silent.

The way you looked at him however, that was a game changer. He would get all stuttery over his words and just get flustered to the point he'd live without kendo needing to assist. (Knocking his hardheaded ass out)

You figured he had a crush on you which you were completely alright with due to you reciprocating his feelings! He was so beautiful and rather charming in his own way. He was distinguished and quite dashing!!!

You had no idea how people could just say such mean things to him!!

You finish off your look with a silver necklace that makes everything pop so beautifully. Your many rings matching indefinitely. You wore a white turtle neck and a pastel pink plaid skirt with white opaque tights on underneath. Baby pink Mary Jane's accompanying your soft aesthetic.

Being in college was fun for you, the party's the sleepovers the random socks on other people's dorm handles. It was an interesting experience, one of the greatest parts about it was how you could wear whatever you wanted! No dress code, no uniforms just your own unique style!

You walked with a sway to your hips as you made it to your class, to your surprise seeing how there were different students there than normal.

You look around and see groans and laughter coming from somewhere, you turn your head out the classroom door to see some of your friend and peers angry and uncomfortable whilst a manically laughing monoma boasts about something.

Mina sees you and lights up nodding her head in monomas direction telling you in girl talk or whatever the fuck to "get your fucking man before I have kirishima walk him like a damn dog."Her eyes saying more than enough.

You chuckle which catches others attention, including monomas. He turns with a raised brow to see you, his eyes widening and a pinky tint slightly becoming visible on his features.

"hello, neito."

He clears his throat and turns to you dusting off his outfit and giving you a small grin looking to the ground, unable to hold eye contact.

"hi y/- ahem. Y/n."

His voice cracked whilst he tried saying your name instantly making him get flustered and asking a loud and entertained kirishima have a belly laugh.

Monomas turns to them and instantly shouts at them calling them "Imbeciles" and "incompetent losers" and such, the way he spoke with such sophisticated mannerisms was just amusing to you, even while arguing and being angry with people he disliked he still manages to not use foul language and be somewhat civilized. It's quite neat.

You giggle catching his attention again, he turns to you and bows his head lightly with a smile as an apology.

"what are you up to, neito?"

You ask with a tilt to your head.

"who me?! I- uhm-- y'know the usual, classes are just taking over my brain at the moment, haha!"

He jokes, making you giggle again. God you were so cute to him, the way you innocently giggled or laughed at anything, the way you dressed to adorably like an innocent little girl was oddly compelling to him.

"i see you've gotten your hair done. It looks very nice, y/n."

He says to you nodding his head to your hair, the way you had little sparkles raying off of it and how you had little star shaped clips in your locs just completes your outfit.

"awh thank you neito!! You're so sweet!"

You jump into his arms with a hug, snuggling your nose into his shirt. He blushed intensively, getting stiff and tense underneath your touch. You did such foul things to him, making him flustered and blushy like this. He never felt this way for anyone, he always wanted to be a hero and show everyone that he was just as capable of doing things his former class rivals could.

He slowly wrapped his arms around your shorter figure leaning his head down and resting it on your head, his nose burying itself into your locs and smelling the sweet smell radiating off of them.

It was an unfamiliar smell to him, yet it was so intoxicatingly sweet. Like he'd smelled it before, or like it was just something he couldn't resist. A smell he was sure he wanted to take over his senses all the time. For the rest of his life even.

The hug lasted quite some time, an angry kirishima faux clearing his throat to end the long hug. Mina rolled her eyes and nudged him, she didn't like monoma really, but if you had then she'd just have to thug that shit out. For your sake.

You pulled away first, having monoma realize where he was, which was not in a perfect mansion with a beautiful rose garden, white picket fence, and a golden retriever running around with happy and cheerful barks.

He looks down at you ass you peer up at him with beautiful eyes, the way they shine so brightly even without sunlight raying into them, the way you bat your eyelashes at him and smile innocently.

He blushed while staring deep into your eyes. Fuck he'd just imagined a whole entire life with you, making you his wife and you have his kids.

You were evil and putting him under your spell. Your evil, wicked, enchanting, perfect, beautiful, absolutely breathtaking spell. Wait what?!

He got flushed and hid his face with his hand as he looked away, his other hand still on your waist.

You put one of your hands on his neck causing him to snap his neck to look right back to your face. You look down at his chest and rub your other hand up and down it and slowly look back up to him. You smile and move your hand that was once in his neck to his flushed cheek.

He wss going to kiss you. Fuck he was actually going to kiss you, finally, after having a huge crush on you for all these years you were going to kiss him. He'd finally make you his!

"AHEM. So yeah uh, we have to get to class, right y/n? Wouldn't want kids to catch you guys Frenching in the middle of the hallway while classes are in right? Right?"

Kirishima interrupts, making up an excuse to get you away from him.

Mina face palms herself while pulling kirishima away from the two of you. Monoma watching while he gives kirishima an evil, shit eating grin. Kirishima was practically foaming out of the mouth like a raccoon with rabies.

You simply giggle before letting him go. No no no, that's not what was supposed to happen! Why'd you let him go?!

"he's right, we should get to class."

You say quietly, never taking a step back still being rather close to him, peering up at him with wide eyes and offering him a smile.

He sighs and looks away. He was extremely disappointed. Why'd that shitty shark toothed fucker have to get in his way? You were finally going to kiss him.

"but, we can hang out later, if you'd like."

"yes!-- I uhm.. yes, I would like that, if you would."

He answers quickly, before stumbling on his words and saving himself from eternal embarrassment, not that toud ever make fun of him. He was cute, and flushy. Most people didn't get to see him like that not even kendo. You were honored and wnsted to spend more time with him. So you agreed. The two do you made plans and agreed to meet and have lunch, he'd take you to see a movie and you'd go out on dinner dates.

He had so many plans for the two of you. And once you start dating you better believe you're not allowed to be around anyone without him, not that he's jealous.. he's jealous. He's so jealous, he hates anyone that's not him being in your presence. He loves you! More than anything and anyone.

He holds you with grace, being so gentle with you throughout everything. Making sure you don't have tod I anything, not lift a single finger. He holds you tight at night making you feel safe and warm. He loves matching with you, and eating with you, and doing anything to ensure everyone knows you're his. He isn't insecure or anything but he's not oblivious to the rather hot people that swarm your school. He has a hard time reassuring himself that you only have eyes for him!

You're so kind and nice to everyone it's hard to believe you're his girlfriend. Seriously, no one believes you two, but you are. You're his and he's yours. No doubt about it, he'd choose you over the world.

He loves showing you off, boasting and bragging about how cute you are, how you're his girlfriend and how no one can ever even compare to you. How your skin glows in the sunlight without any help. How you're so strong and are better than anyone who ever existed. You can be a bit of an airhead at times, he even teases you about it, but let someone dare say some shit about you, he's ready to throw words. Something tells me hes not the best at hand to hand combat..

Anyways, he loves you dearly, he makes sure to tell you constantly. He doesn't want you feeling like you're less than perfect. He has standard, rather high ones too, and you meet them to a tee.

...........................................

AN: this is x black!reader bc I js got my hair done and I've become kinda obsessed w him so. Yeah!!! I'm definitely making more monoma and tenya content bc they've recently been clouding my head. Anyways love laugh love monoma!!!

This is kind of all over the place so come back later for more and much better content including him.

[onlyangel4]

unexpected. SMAU. LH44. part two.

lewis hamilton x tattoo artist! reader

in which reader is the last person someone you expect to find in the paddock and that is what makes him drawn to you. or lando's tattoo artist friend visits the paddock to tattoo zak brown after the miami gp win and the internet goes mad.

warnings- cursing

part one // part three

main faceclaim is ryan ashley malarkey

y/ntattoos posted a story

written: ready to explore italy away from the paddock

lewishamilton replied to your story: i'll see you half an hour beautiful

hamiltonupdates

liked by user47, user18, user82 and 17,983 others

hamiltonupdates: lewis seen out in italy on what looks like a date. the girl in the pictures is y/n y/ln a long term friend of fellow driver lando norris who is in italy after tattooing zak brown following the mclaren win in miami. what do you think of this pairing?

view all 2,389 comments

user47: she is not wag material

user7: she actually seems really nice, she offers memorial tattoos for free

user47: being a good person is not the only requirement to be a wag, she just doesn't fit the aesthetic

user18: i am hoping that they are just friends, they have a few mutual friends back in london

user82: i actually really like this pairing, unexpected but hot af

y/ntattoos posted a close friends story

landonorris replied to your story: you better be back in your hotel room. alone.

y/ntattoos: well i am back in my hotel room...

landonorris: you are something else y/n i stg

danielricciardo replied to your story: i recognise that car, congratulate lewis for me

y/ntattoos: he says thank you danny

lewishamilton posted a story

written: being treated like a pack horse

y/ntattoos replied to your story: YOU OFFERED TO CARRY IT

lewishamilton: shh baby they don't need to know that

y/ntattoos posted a story

story one written: what the fuck is my life

lewishamilton replied to your story: hope you enjoyed your first flight in luxury princess

y/ntattoos: i did thank you lewis, you did not have to do that

lewishamilton: you really aren't used to being spoiled are you darling?

lewishamilton: don't worry i will show you the finer things in life

y/ntattoos posted another story

written: back in (not so) sunny london

y/ntattoos

liked by lewishamilton, landonorris, mclaren and 538,920 others

y/ntattoos: back to work

view all 22,389 comments

jennanorris: the loml is back in london. finally.

y/ntattoos: jen i was gone for 4 days

jennanorris: 4 days too long

mclaren: counting down the days until you back in the paddock

y/ntattoos: tell @.oscarpiastri to hurry up and win a race. then i will be back

mclaren: threatening him rn

lewishamilton: london is lucky to have you

liked by y/ntattoos

user52: thank god she is far away from the paddock, she is not a worthy wag

user23: lewis get out of the likes. she is not good for you

user12: what qualifications do you have to tell a 7 time world champion what is good for him liked by y/ntattoos

y/ntattoos posted a close friends story

written: the best part of my day

jennanorris posted a story tagging y/ntattoos and laylafinch

written: a night spent drinking wine with layla raving about how much she loves her boyfriend, y/n complaining about how much she misses him and me ranting about my situationship. the duality of women.

lewishamilton replied to your story: she misses me

jennanorris: she hasn't stopped talking about you for the past two and a half weeks. she really fucking misses you.

lewishamilton: hmmm...

taglist for this series: @ilivbullyingjeongin @formulaal

[kookslastbutton]

enamored ༓ myg (m) | one

�� Summary: Min Yoongi is nothing like what you imagined him to be when you saw him preform at the local cafe in town. Yet little by little he surprises you with his true self, until somehow you find yourself completely enamored with him.

pairing: new independent artist!yoongi x veterinarian!reader

genre/AU: fluff, angst, eventual smut, strangers2acquaintance2lovers, mini-series

word count: 4,643

Warnings: Nothing too heavy but oc is around 25, mention of unhealthy past relationships, yoon is a struggling artist, talk about social insecurity, cats, the rest of the fluff stuff is for you to find out haha

now playing: cold/mess

a/n: Due to me and my fellow Yoon enthusiasts missing myg, I bring us this three-part mini-series. I'm not sure how this will go but hope you enjoy! 🥰 Lowkey has me thinking of Yoongi pre-debut days.

Tonight’s the first night the local coffeehouse you and your friend, Nara, visit for weekly rant sessions is showcasing musicians of all backgrounds, statuses, and genres. And you are very much looking forward to the absolute cutie pictured in a fluffy sky-blue cardigan, a big gummy smile on, and undeniably soft, chocolate eyes.

His arms casually rest atop his guitar followed by the words ‘Agustd’ in scripted font underneath. You’ve never heard of him before but you’re convinced that he’ll play something light and uplifting given the aesthetic of his image displayed on the TV screen.

“God it’s packed like a football stadium here,” Nara interrupts your gaze on the tv from across the table. She sits with her hands folded on the wooden surface, a giant diamond sparkling on her left hand.

“You’re telling me,” you tsk. “I already came close to bumping into a middle-aged man with two lattes in his hands and a couple of college girls attempting to film a TikTok on our way in.”

It’s no exaggeration to say the cafe itself is swarming with new faces who are eager for a night of leisure while overworked baristas rush to fulfill orders. You have the innate instinct to offer them your help, though they’d likely advise it’s better for you to remain seated.

“Have you ever been to a football stadium though?” You ask more condescendingly than intended, but you find her analogy amusing since she’s never been one to pay attention to sports.

Nara rolls her eyes at your light probing. “No, but I’ve seen pictures. You know how big of a fan my Yunjun is of football. He’s gone to the United States to watch the super bowl eight times now.”

She says it proudly, but the reality is that her lovey Yunjun has not once invited her to go with him. Instead, he takes three of his closest friends and disappears to the other side of the world for two weeks. Everyone knows the super bowl only lasts one day so why the hell is he there for that long? Likely to get drunk with his buddies, that’s why.

“You know I don’t like him,” you say bluntly. “Why are you marrying him again?” Nara’s confident smile turns into a defensive scowl as she proceeds to tell you, once again, all the ways that Yunjun “completes her”.

On and on she continues for ten minutes straight until her voice slowly drowns out to the clapping and cheering of the crowd behind her. A young woman named Yuri just finished performing a few of her original songs and is thanking the audience for listening. You lightly clap along in politeness.

“Anyway, as I was saying,” Nara pipes up once the crowd falls silent again. “Yunjun is extremely thoughtful. Yesterday he messaged me to meet for lunch without me having to ask first.”

“Uh huh…” you drawl out, eyes shifting between her and the distracting movements of bodies behind her. The young woman who just performed steps off the stage while a young man steps forward to take her place.

You struggle to keep eye contact with Nara as said man lazily slumps himself on the wooden stool at the front of the room and balances his acoustic guitar on his knee. He looks like he just rolled out of bed ten minutes ago; hair tousled about, a big black sweatshirt covering half his body, and possibly the most somber facial expression on.

Is that the same guy from the promo image? Agust something?

You lean your head to the side and past Nara’s head to get a better view.

It is him but he looks so starkly different from his photo on the TV screen. His mood is much more melancholy than you imagined, like Grumpy Bear from Care Bears.

It makes you wild with curiosity.

You find yourself placing a hand under your chin, intent on listening to his every word. By now, Nara's noticed your interest in the musician so she's stopped talking and pays attention to him as well.

“Hi, I’m Agustd and I'm an independent artist,” he introduces himself in a low voice, lips pressed to the microphone. His focus is set on the audience in front of him at first but then, as if feeling your heavy stare, he flicks his eyes directly into yours. "I'm also known as Min Yoongi."

You feel your stomach flutter at the gesture which only seems to grow in intensity when he doesn't bother to remove his gaze from you.

He can't actually be looking at you, right?

"I'm starting off with a song I wrote a few years ago titled Seesaw," he continues. "I wrote it while going through, what I thought was at the time, a hopeless period of my life. Please enjoy." And with that he begins strumming on the chords of his guitar, eyes slowly closing to immerse himself in the beautiful music.

Everyone is on the edge of their seats as much as you when he leans further into the mic, lips gently parting.

"In the beginning, well, it was fun

Just going up and down itself

Before we knew, we both became sick of

meaningless waste of emotions

A repeated seesaw, seesaw game

Having come this far, I got sick of, got sick of it

A repeated seesaw, seesaw game

We’re both got tired and became sick of it..."

As Yoongi continues to preform with closed eyes and breathy voice, you take in the rawness of his lyrics. Seesaw tells about relationship that's grown draining; that the weight of staying in something so tiring should come to an end sooner rather than later.

It resonates with you deeply as you've experienced first-hand the challenges of staying in a bottomless relationship. You didn't want to acknowledge it at the time, but you put in all the effort when you and your ex were together. And though it was three years ago since your break up, the constant feeling of exhaustion and being less than haunts you every night.

The vibrations in Yoongi's voice echoing off the mic tells you he's been through similar pain. So much so that it thrums in your own chest and you realize how wrong you'd been to think he'd compose a lighthearted song.

"How crafty the heart of a person is

Though we know one will get hurt if the other is not there,

because we both don’t want to be the bad guy,

we continue to awkwardly pass the buck, umm umm

and end up becoming exhausted, ironically reaching the paralleled balance

Ay, this is not the kind of balance that I wanted..."

With every line, you notice Yoongi's delicate fingers struggling to hold down each chord. It's clear that he's thinking about whoever this song is about in this very moment. Nevertheless, he presses on with a fervent spirit until the end.

You and a handful of people are the only ones who clap when the last line of Seesaw is sung. The rest of the audience is oddly reluctant to applaud and your best guess is that they weren't expecting to hear something so profoundly reflective. The musicians before him had been far more upbeat so to speak.

"Thank you," Yoongi mutters with hesitance. He scans the mute crowd who seemingly cause the air to grow thicker by exchanging awkward glances with one another.

Without another word, Yoongi surprises everyone by standing up from his stool and walking over to the seat he was sitting in before coming on stage. He picks up a few loose papers, and his keys, and zips his guitar into its case before heading for the exit.

"Didn't he have more songs to play?" Nara turns to you with a frown on her face, puzzled at the turn of events.

"I thought so too," you reply, fingers restless as you watch him leave the cafe. "You know what...I'll be right back." You're unsure what prompts you to follow him out other than your unsettled conscience telling you that this isn't the first time he's gotten this type of response and that he deserves better.

"Excuse me, Agustd? Or Yoongi?" You're sure he can hear your voice call to him as he opens the rear door of his beater car. His head whips in your direction immediately.

"Yeah?" He answers simply yet when he sees the white of your eyes, he does a double take; stunned that the only person he cared to recognize the whole night followed him out.

Typically with small gigs like this Yoongj doesn't take much note of the crowd unless they're booing him off the stage. And even then he plays it off. But somehow, your relaxed gaze soothed him, so he remembers you—he remembers the way you made him feel.

"I just wanted to say you sounded good. Better than good actually," you correct yourself, words sputtering out a little too fast. "Seesaw is amazing and you're a genius to have written it."

Your hands get clammier as you approach him. You hope this doesn't sound dumb but something in you won't let him leave without giving him at least a shred of honest encouragement.

The corner of Yoongi's mouth barely quirks up before it quickly falls back down. He sets his guitar in the back seat of his car, then shuts the door and gives you a nod. "Thanks but you don't have to say that."

He moves to the driver's door and reaches to grip the handle but out of nowhere, you stop him by placing a hand over his wrist.

"I mean it," you assure him.

Yoongi doesn't move a muscle as he glances between your hand around his wrist and your seemingly oblivious face. For three seconds you stare at each other with intense eyes, wordless as you take in each other's micro-expressions.

Through the physical contact, you can both feel the rapid beating of each other's hearts but you're unsure if it's simply nerves from an embarrassing situation or something else entirely.

"Sorry." You finally come to your senses and retract your fingers. "I just wanted to tell you that I connected with the lyrics of your song. Not everyone does and that's okay but it really is amazing Yoongi. So don't pay attention to those rude people in there okay?"

At this, Yoongi's expressions soften and a timid smile forms on his plushy lips. He runs a hand through his messy hair, smoothing down some of the loose strands sticking up.

"I appreciate you coming out to tell me this...wait what's your name?"

"__."

"__. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed my music but don't worry, I don't take it personally when people dislike my songs. It just means it wasn't for them." He shrugs carelessly but there's a hidden sorrow laced in his tone. He holds his chin high yes, but his heart is so deep in his chest.

"Hey," you start. "If I was a music manager I'd sign you on immediately. You don't happen to have that song recorded do you? Uploaded to music platforms or anything?"

"Yeah, I just put it on Spotify actually. I also have some CDs." Yoongi pauses and wets his lips. "If you're interested," he finishes with slightly averted eyes.

"Call me old fashioned but could I get one of those?"

"What?" He taken aback by your response.

"A cd. You said you have one?"

"Uh sure, yeah just a second." He walks to the trunk of his car, opens the lid, and rummages around until he pulls forward a small cardboard box. "I don't have great packaging yet but here's one." Yoongi holds out a plain white sleeve with a disk inside. "Hope you don't mind but I signed my name on it. Thought it would make it personal or something."

You take the disk from his hand and cheese at him. "Wow, I can't believe I'm getting an autographed version right off the bat. How much?"

Yoongi shakes his head. "You can have it."

"No, really how much?" Taking this man's cd without paying him a dime does not sit well with you. Regardless, Yoongi continues to insist.

"It's on me. Maybe when I get to the point where I can have concerts you'll come." He jokes but you remain serious, digging into your pocket for your wallet. You take 26000 won out ($20) and shove it in his hand. "Hey wait!" Yoongi calls after you when you quickly start backing away from him.

"No takebacks!" You holler. "I'm sorry to leave so suddenly but my friend's waiting for me inside. It was nice meeting you Yoongi and I look forward to when you become a raging success. Until then, I'll be streaming your songs on Spotify! Treat yourself to something nice alright?"

He steps forward, mouth falling open as if to say something but nothing comes out. Your face is already turned away from him as he watches you trot back to the cafe'. He rolls the cash in his hand and stuffs it in his back pocket, hoping that maybe he'll cross paths with you again.

A week passes and you've not forgotten your interaction with Min Yoongi. You wish you hadn't run away like you did but it's true that Nara was waiting for you inside. Any longer and she would have sent a search party for you–she's on the extreme end.

Plus, you didn't want him giving the money back to you. It was a noble gesture to hand it over to you for free but it wasn't necessary. Yoongi is an independent artist who's working to establish himself in the music industry and you were more than willing to pay for good music.

You're currently sitting in your car, replaying the affair in your head for the umpteenth time while you wait for your pizza to be ready. You were told you'd get a text notification though it's taking longer than usual, given how much louder the growling of your stomach has gotten.

Finding new ways to distract yourself gets more challenging with each passing minute. You open the glove department of your car and pull out Yoongi's cd, admiring the beautiful signature marked in black ink on the disk.

Seesaw - Agustd 2018

It's crazy of you but you kind of miss him. Yoongi wasn't like anything you expected him to be, so deep and grounded while at the same time warm-hearted. He was incredibly handsome too. And when you touched his arm, eyes piercing into his, it was like you were being magnetically pulled to him.

Is that possible though? Sharing a magnetic force with practically a stranger?

Your contemplation is interrupted when the sound of your phone notification rings off. Finally, your order's ready. You toss the cd back into the glove box and head inside the pizza shop.

"Hi, welcome to Little Slice of Heaven," the young lady at the counter greets you with a cheery smile. "How can I help you?"

"I have an order for __." You open your wallet and hand over your credit card. She takes it from you speedier than you like, ringing it up then returning it to you with a paper receipt.

"I'll go grab it for you." She swiftly turns around, nearly bumping into one of her coworkers. "Shit sorry!" The person gives a small grunt in response before mumbling an 'its fine, I got it'.

"Order for __."

You stash the receipt in your pocket, then look up to take the boxes of steaming hot pizza. "Yes, thank you so m–," You freeze at once at the familiar face in the iconic navy blue Little Slice of Heaven uniform.

"Yoongi?" He seems to be just as motionless as you when you say his name. "I didn't know..."

"I just started," he answers shortly. "It's uh, good to see you again. How have you been?"

"Oh you know, still alive. Pizza helps me." You chuckle to help break the ice. Yoongi doesn't laugh but you do catch his eyes softening the smallest bit. "What about you? How have you been?"

"Good. Music's good too." He runs a hand through his hair, a habit you're beginning to pick up from him. "I–sorry I must sound like an idiot. I didn't expect to see anyone I knew here tonight."

"You don't sound like an idiot. You said you just started working here right?"

He nods.

"Yoongi!" An older man with a navy blue visor on his head calls from one of the pizza ovens in the back. "I need you to deliver this to the lovely couple sitting at table 8. Times ticking!"

Yoongi looks at the man, then at you. He knows what he needs to do except the thought of letting you leave after getting the rare chance to see you again causes him to linger in place.

"It's okay," you try to ease him, despite also feeling conflicted to leave. "You're working. I come here often so I'll see you around." You're only able to take two steps before the same voice hollers to you.

"Wait, __. What are you doing tomorrow at 6?"

"It's Saturday so, probably watching re-runs of Friends. Why?"

For the first time, Yoongi lets out a hearty laugh and you're instantly reminded of his photo from the cafe last week; the one of him in the sky-blue cardigan with his guitar. His expression exudes the same joyful aura as if his two personas suddenly merge as one.

"I love Friends," he says. "The whole Ross and Rachel thing is driving me mad though, like why won't they–"

"Yoongi the food needs to go now!" His coworker yells at him again, wiping his sweat fro his brow. "Tell your girlfriend or whoever that is that you have work to do!"

"She's not my girlfriend!" Yoongi responds with rosy cheeks. "Sorry, I gotta get back to it. I know Friends is tough to compete with but do you think you'd have an hour to spare? We could–I could get a pizza for us to split. Already got your order down." He gives a lopsided grin as he jokes lightly.

"Okay." You break into a smile. "I wouldn't dream of passing up my comfort food." You sound calm but the back of your mind reels with uncertainty. Is he asking you out or is it the so-called "hang out", sometimes masked as a pre-date?

He reaches for the pad of paper on the counter next to him, scribbles something down, and tears it off to give it to you. "Here's my number. Feel free to text me if anything changes. No pressure though."

Once you take the paper from him, he disappears into the back of the kitchen before you can get another word out. Min Yoongi, you hum silently, timid yet takes initiative. Cute.

You decide it's better to see Yoongi's proposal as a hang out rather than a date. It's not like he came out and said, "do you want to go out" or anything. So at 6 pm on the dot, you agree to meet him at Little Slice of Heaven. As promised, he brings a pizza for you to share.

He's already changed out of his work clothes by the time you arrive; sporting a white t-shirt, jeans, and a thin chain necklace. The basic look works on him.

"So I didn't get to ask you yesterday," you start, turning to Yoongi who sits on the swivel stool next to you. "How do you like it here and what made you come?"

He shrugs and places a slice of pizza on his paper plate. "Pays the bills. I was working as a waiter down on main street a few months ago. I chose to leave that place due to poor management and...I lack social skills, evidently."

"Come on, you do not." You refuse to believe it. "Anytime we've talked it's been pleasant so any naysayers probably don't even know what side's up."

Yoongi snorts in amusement. "We've only had two conversations __." He says it flatly yet it doesn't keep your cheeks from feeling flushed, warmth blooming in the pit of your belly. Your name sounds different from his lips this time.

"You're right, and both times you've shown great social skills."

"I think you're stretching it a little. As I recall I was a bit more reserved with you than usual. Must have been awkward for you."

"Not in the slightest," you deny. "There's nothing awkward about being reserved. In fact, sometimes it's better and it typically means you're a better listener than most. And if you were so awful, you wouldn't be working here right? This is food service too."

"Thanks for saying that." He glances down at his hands in his lap, unsure of how much you're saying rings true, then looks back up at you. "I don't need to talk with people as much as I do a server though. It's more like I hand them their pizza and wish them a good life."

"Well, I guess you make a point there. But trust me Yoongi, you don't lack social skills. Can I ask you something though? Weirdly off-topic."

"Shoot."

"It's about your photo from the cafe last week. It showed you in a blue cardigan with a smile on your face except when you came in to play that day..."

An unexpected grin forms on his face as he finishes your sentence. "I looked like I hated my life or something right? Or like Grumpy Bear from that kiddy cartoon, Caring Bears.

"Care Bears."

"Right, Care Bears." He chuckles lightly. "The music I tend to write shows my raw feelings and experiences. A song like Seesaw, as you've heard, is no exception, but I don't think my overall theme has to be dark as well. The image you saw shows the current version of me, the one who's liberated from those past experiences."

"That's extremely meaningful, Yoongi."

"As far as why I showed up in a giant black sweatshirt, it's because I wanted to dress comfortably. I always get a little nervous performing in front of a live audience so it helps. Especially since I'm only a new artist without a label supporting me. I was also a little sleepy from mixing beats the night before too, I won't lie."

"That makes so much sense. How long have you been making music for?"

"Since a teenager. Like thirteen."

"Seriously?" You nearly fall off your chair. Yoongi is a born genius it seems.

"Yeah. I never pursued being an independent artist until now. Resources and connections were pretty grim for me. Since becoming an adult I've made some progress. Still working to get my name out there though."

"I understand." You nod along. "Being an independent artist, you must have to do a lot to gain exposure. Have you considered uploading videos of yourself playing your songs on social media?"

"I've done some and they've been good. I'm actually trying to send my songs to a few record labels but I haven't heard back from any yet. It's been a good six months so I don't know. There's still one that I'm holding out hope for. I only sent my music to them a week ago."

"That's a shame they didn't contact you. Just means they missed out on Agustd which they will, without a doubt, be regretting later. Do you have an estimate on when the newest label will reach out to you?"

"No clue. They say it takes anywhere from a week to three months. By the way," he pauses. "I have to ask. Do you really like my music? I don't mean that rudely or anything."

"Hell yeah, I like it! You're honestly insanely talented and love it actually."

"God," Yoongi fakes an eye roll. "Don't tell me you're my first groupie."

You both share a laugh that can only be described as natural.

"Enough about me." He speaks first after your laughter settles down. "What do you do? Have any crazy hobbies?"

"I'm afraid I don't have any crazy hobbies at the moment. I work as a vet downtown and I don't have much free time unless it's to binge-watch movies on the weekend. I love my job though."

"Ah," Yoongi narrows his eyes as if coming to a drastic realization. "It's all coming together."

"What is?"

"The reason why you're so kind and stable." He gathers several napkins and hands them over to you when some of the water from your glass accidentally spills on the table. "No you have a bright energy to you, but it's not hyper. It's like you really care in a hospitable way. You work with animals which requires a lot of heart. Do you have any pets at home?"

"Yeah, I actually have two cats. Both siamese. I want to get a dog but right now I wouldn't be around to take care of it well. Cats are a little more independent." You wipe up the water with the napkins and continue. "Thanks for saying all that Yoongi. I'm not sure stable is the best way to describe me."

"Well, for what it's worth you're the most stable person I've met. I think everyone needs someone like you in their life."

"I–what kind of people are you hanging around?" You feel flustered so you do the first thing that comes to mind, nudge his shoulder playfully which he laughs at. "I'm not all that. I have faults like anyone else."

"Name one." He taps the table with a finger to make a point. "Dare you."

"I don't know, I dislike vacuuming my rug."

"Oh my god." He covers his mouth to feign shock. "Scandalous. I don't think we should eat together again after that. Wow."

"Stop it, that was a dumb one. I have stuff I swear. If this were a first date I'd be a bit appalled that you're asking me to list my faults. It isn't usually the time you try to pick each other apart."

"Actually, it sort of is to an extent. You have to observe each other right? So those so-called red flags will come up sooner than later to keep you from unnecessary pain and heartache later."

You maul on his words. "Point made. Wish I knew that three years ago," you hum. Yoongi seems to agree with you from the way he quietly nods.

"Ex-boyfriend?" he asks.

"Yup, what about you? Ex-girlfriend?"

He nods again and it puts an end to any further talk about exes or past relationships.

"By the way," Yoongi folds his arms against his chest. "I have a cat too. I got him two years ago at a shelter. He's pretty much my best friend."

The excitement on your face is impossible to conceal. Min Yoongi has a cat? You need to know everything about said cat right now.

"What's his name? Is he a long hair? You give me long-haired cat dad vibes." You're hasty— so sue you, you're a vet. Animals are sort of your wheelhouse.

"His name's Kiwi and he's an overly fed Russian Blue. He's six years old." Yoongi laughs and leans towards you with mirthful eyes. "If you want, I can introduce you to him." He cocks a brow and your shoulders perk up.

"Honest? I would actually die to see your cat."

Yoongi slides off his chair and tosses the empty pizza box in the trash. "Let's go to my place then."

"What?" You crickle the napkin in your hand and toss it on your paper plate. "Now?"

"Yeah now's as good a time as ever." He takes his keys from his jeans pocket and gestures for the door. "Don't worry, I won't make you stay for long."

a/n: thanks for reading! lmk what you think 💞

Masterlist

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

[cultofcreatures]

My Top 15 Vaporwave Horror Movies

I thought I would put together a list of vaporwave/dreamcore/liminal aesthetic horror movies that I find to feel outside of time and space. That's sort of my vibe here on tumblr, and I also like the mantra of "if there's something you want to see that no one has made yet, make it yourself." These are films that I personally love, and the list not meant to be definitive. Remember also that art is subjective. I hope someone out there finds at least one film they want to add to their watchlist! It's been a minute since I've seen some of them, so let me know if I need to correct something.

15. Mandy (2018)

I wish I could add pictures for all of these entries, but I can still only add 10 pictures to a post blah. It's such a shame because I wanted to show off that gorgeous aesthetics of all these films. Oh well. This is a revenge flick about a cult kidnapping Nick Cage's girlfriend and him losing his marbles about it. Definitely recommend if you're the mood for vibes and/or Nick Cage NickCageing.

TW: violence, blood, fire

14. Come True (2020)

This is a haunting, fantastic vibes movie. It feels so otherworldly. It's about a homeless young person participating in a sleep study to be able to safely get some sleep. It would be an almost perfect film if it weren't for the just garbage ending. If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, just skip the last 5 minutes, and take it for what the rest of the film is: beautiful.

13. Braid (2018)

This film follows a couple of young drug dealers on the run from their supplier crashing at a mentally unwell friend's house. The catch is they have to play along with their host's unhinged "game" while they hide out. Not gonna lie, this film is trippy af and definitely not for everyone. I can guarantee that no matter what, it is a ride.

TW: heavy drug use, blood

12. Perfect Blue (1997)

A pop star retires to become a full-time actor, which angers some of her fans. Her sense of reality becomes warped when one obsessive fan begins to stalk her. I don't love some of the turns this movie takes when it comes to mental health, but it's hard to deny this film is classic that has stunning animation.

TW: negative depictions of mental disorders, violence, blood

11. Skinamarink (2022)

This controversial found footage movie is sort of hard to describe because it's so otherworldly. Basically, two kids wake up one night to find their dad and all of their doors and windows are missing. Everything about this nostalgic yet terrifying film is vibes and aesthetic: liminal, vaporwave, voidcore, dreamcore, you name it. It feels like a fever dream, and it's a nightmarish journey you won't soon forget, for better or worse.

10. Vivarium (2019)

A couple are looking for a home to share. They follow a strange realtor to an even stranger labyrinthine neighborhood that seems to have no escape. If you're into liminal spaces, this film will definitely scratch that itch for you.

9. Revenge (2017)

This is a r*pe revenge tale that has absolutely beautiful scenery and cinematography. I love the sweeping liminal landscapes and vibrant vaporwave colors. It's a standard plot as far as the genre goes, but it's directed by a woman, so it has a different angle that I find to be superior to most films of the genre.

TW: violence, gore, SA, blood

8. Don't Worry Darling (2022)

A 1950s housewife begins to suspect that something about her utopian community is not what it seems. This film seems to be a bit controversial, too, for some reason. Whatever the case may be, I adore the liminality and dreamy feel of this film. You really get a sense that this world is outside of time and space.

7. It Follows (2014)

This film is straight up about a sexually transmitted curse. Jay sleeps with her boyfriend for the first time, and then finds out she must outpace this demon that can take the shape of anyone forever lest it kill her, or she must pass the curse on to someone else. The shots in this film are to die for. Especially for connoisseurs of the liminal, vaporwave, and dreamcore. Highly recommend for the visuals and music alone.

TW: gore, blood

6. House (1977)

Gorgeous decides to stay with her aunt to hopefully get closer with a group of six of her friends. The girls come to find her aunt's house is more than meets the eye. The visuals and absurdity are what make this movie. It's a classic for a reason.

TW: cartoon gore

5. Akira (1988)

Tetsuo gains psychic abilities via a secret military project and becomes mad with power. It's up to his friends and a small group of psychics to stop him. This is another classic anime. Its 1980s futuristic mentality really lends itself to the vaporwave atmosphere of the cityscape. I highly recommend this classic if you haven't seen it.

TW: violence, body horror

4. Censor (2021)

Enid is a serious film censor with a shrouded past that includes her long-missing sister. She watches a film that bears eerie resemblance to her vague childhood memories that begin to take hold of her as tries to piece them together. I don't think I'm totally clear on when this film takes place, which is what I love about it. It has a spooky surreal quality that will both draw you in and unsettle you.

TW: violence, blood

3. She Dies Tomorrow (2020)

Amy is convinced she is going to die tomorrow. Her friend Jane comes by to comfort her, and then becomes consumed by the thought she will die tomorrow as well. This film is as strange as it is beautiful. It will either leave you in tears or confused af or both.

TW: blood

2. The Neon Demon (2016)

Jesse is a very young, gifted model who is new in town (probably LA). She quickly signs with an agent and begins getting gigs, breeding the contempt of the established models around her. This is probably one of the most visually appealing films I've ever seen. The music is on point. The low key acting is a vibe. I just adore this film. 10/10, highly recommend.

TW: gore, blood

1. The Platform (2019)

A man wakes up in a prison that is an indescribable liminal pit where there are a seemingly never-ending number of levels. A platform full of food is lowered through each level once a day, and everyone on the lower levels must fight to survive. This film is just so utterly anticapitalist and gorgeous that I can't help but sing its praises. I think everyone should watch this movie at least once. It is horrifying yet eye-opening. Certainly one of my favorite films of all time.

TW: gore, violence, blood

Thank you for reading my list! Like I said, I wanted to make a list like this because I couldn't find one when I went looking. I hope you found something to add to your watchlist! I tried to include some of the big TWs for these movies, but they're far from complete lists. So please check websites like doesthedogdie.com for more complete TW lists if you have any concerns. Make decisions that are right for you. Thanks again, and have a happy and safe new year! xx

[socstudies]

Hi, as someone who is going to be in their first year of college this fall, I'm curious about the note taking part

Is physical or digital note taking easier?

Is spending money on a laptop nessesary?

What is something you wish you would've done differently during your first year?

Do you have any advice?

If by any chance you see this, your blog and your aesthetic are amazing!

I'm wishing you a wonderful day/night.

If you do decide to reply, thank you in advance <3

helloo! sorry for the late reply & thank u for the ask! :)

ive tried both and i think i prefer handwritten notes, however they both have their pros and cons:

handwritten pros

proven to be better for retaining information

can't get distracted by other tabs

lighter to carry

costs less than a laptop

i've had some classes where we weren't allowed to use laptops so it's good to already be used to taking notes this way

cons:

much slower. sometimes i find im missing stuff and i have to go back to it at the end

have to print out diagrams etc if u want to include them

could possibly lose them, spill something etc

not enough space on desk for both laptop and notebook so u can't get slides up or google something

digital pros:

much quicker

easier to organise & pull up different notes at any time - u don't need to carry around or find older notebooks to be able to study or refer back to past classes

some people make notes directly onto the slides which u would have to print out if u wanted to do by hand

can also use for research and writing essays which u will need a computer for at some point so might as well do everything in one place

cons:

expensive

more stressful if u lose or break it

if u forget to charge it and u don't have paper .......

this upcoming year, im using a combination. most of the time i'll handwrite my notes, but for classes where they talk too quickly i'll type them (it's not worth the stress & extra time having to go back to recordings after). my notes for readings will be annotated straight onto the pdf. i'll be taking pictures of notes to put them all together.

---

unfortunately, i think it is because you'll need computer access to research and write ur essays, as well as to find course information etc. HOWEVER some universities (most?) have laptops that u can borrow and computers in the library, so if u know that you'll be motivated enough to get up and do all of ur work on campus, you could save this cost - bare in mind when u move off campus after first year it might be even harder. definitely look into this if cost is an issue for you! it doesn't need to be a fancy one if u do buy a laptop though, just remember u'll be carrying it around so don't get a super heavy one!

---

as for something i wish i'd done differently: as a sociology student, none of my classes have exams where i have to memorise things, instead it's all essay based. this led me to not 'study' i guess ??? like the stuff that i wrote my essays on, i knew like the back of my hand, but everything else i couldn't remember well. so if ur taking an essay based subject, remember that u still need to study a little & remember these things !! i was so overwhelmed tbh that i forgot about this oopsie!

---

extra advice:

when people say that after u skip one class, u'll skip the rest THEY. MEAN. IT. literally try so hard not to miss class bc you will never go again if u do. my classes would start off with not enough seats for everybody and end up with just a handful of us by the end of term.....

make time for urself !! it can become all consuming, especially if u live on campus, but pls make some dedicated time away from studying !!

u will find ur friends eventually. pls remember that it won't last or be that fun if u stick with friends who u don't have that much in common with just bc they were the first u met. tell me why i was going to bars and clubs with people in first term bc that;s what they wanted to do ????? it's ok to move onto different people bc u will eventually get tired of doing these things u don't like just to be able to hang out with people !! now i go to bookstores and cafes with my new friends and i love it!! don't settle !!

[no-ones-sunshine]

(Ooc)

It was kind of like going to a new place during my 11-14 year old era, playing that game where people ONLY focused on me, and had you guys but a lot more were actually evil, and the roleplay happened in real life- so not rp.

It started in a new house where I'm sure I stole it from someone else because it was beautiful and full of items, but I don't remember moving stuff in so. After babysitting 3 cats(Cookie and Greg's 2 cats), I started to work on a cat room they can all play in while texting you guys like friends in a group chat. I have no memory of what was being said, but I remember being happy to talk to you all and it was a little chaotic cus there was so many people online at once. A couple started asking why I was so quiet, so I texted what was going on, but I think my text actually sent something that felt concerning. I know it was yet don't remember.

Then my grandma came around and started shopping with me as the house morphed into a store. That's when I felt a bit of fear because of my dad possibly showing up again after years from that attempted kidnapping and grooming me. Then I phased through a wall only to check behind me and find the store gone, and I was in my hometown. I had a feeling that someone I knew was there from the groupchats so I started searching with people not being realistic (i.e. swallowing air until they puff up like a frog and squish on the ground, wearing knives through their flesh like extendo-weapons, or having very very long legs).

I kept running around until meeting maybe one of your vampire characters and he said he was waiting for me(I believe at this point I was a fusion of Miki and Night, my first character that is just me). He took me off to a school but it did not have that function at all and there was possibly a pizza party which I could hardly tell because I also saw a forest created with visuals of gore and static. I saw more of characters like yours with Kris, Fukuzawa (different design), and maybe Fyodor? While you guys had a party, I had a Miki moment where I couldn't see what was happening but I saw so many demons made out of those trees I saw, like a Van Gogh painting of malformed pain.

Then it somehow rained and washed all of you away where I felt myself standing in the house I started with. My step-nephew was there and he was still 9 so I had to babysit him along with everything else which wasn't so bad especially now that I was even bigger still to overpower him if he still acted like a witch over nothing. Then I got a call from a character who I can only describe as Taneda to find them, and another voice saying "Good job good job good job". Nonstop.

And so I ran off, I saw past locations my dreams had like a giant field you'd see in a 70s movie about the army. Empty too, where I once drove off the side and fucked up a semi-truck chasing me to the school. Then there were these roads from a field trip nightmare that I had to escape a murderer that was on the bus with me, on a farm. Finally the last place I clearly remember was this trailer park that I dreamt burnt down after a flood where the grown up versions of these kids that assaulted me irl died. The place I stopped at was in the town again and I stopped not cus I arrived to the needed location, but I heard a voice. I don't remember much audio in my dreams, I actually see a lot of speech in text, when it's kind enough to show me that.

The voice called me over to get me to be distracted, which I already was because for some reason I was thinking of these aesthetic pictures of abandoned playgrounds and fields with fairgrounds rusted and grainy. I still came over to what looked like a vampire/evil scientist/lonely poet/evil demon king's house. The second I entered this walkway with dog statues on either side, I felt I couldn't stand, walk, nor make a noise. My head stayed low while laying on my side and I heard the voice or my brain said I did again. He said something like how naive I was or some generic thing I was blamed and coddled for when I was younger on the roleplaying game.

I tried to give snarky remarks like always but I was given a heavy dose of shocks, and I could feel it. I felt it like that axe in my arm, or being assaulted by an ex. He came over Teen Titans Slade style but I can't remember his design so my brain just pictures Fyodor in his Halloween outfit. Then next thing I know it's the next day and I'm outside.

I tried to ignore the fact I got kidnapped and, whatever happened to me so I could text you guys. You guys thought I died too, which sorta makes sense. But I was very close with @tilskkarishma online. We talked about what happened and whenever I chatted to them, I saw the dark house. They come back soon.

Then my sister was with me at a row of computers while I got up to leave. Then her friends were yanking me back to play a game with them even though I had to meet with I think Fukuzawa and "Taneda". Then my sister questioned who the online friend was(Mori's mod) and I began to ask them about doing the kidnapping now. They didn't exactly agree.... but it's kidnapping so...

I had a vision that behind me they were making a very messy cow balloon full of organs and such, using the utters to twist into a shape. So I headed off but I guess my dream got sick of me postponing this meeting so I fell onto a wet sidewalk in the rainy night. Then I was guided by Taneda out of there to the location where I had a very heavy worry I would be assaulted cus of my age again but I woke up.

The End.

@paintedgrilledcheese here ya go!!

[bunnyreaper]

hey bunny! been a min since i last sent you an ask 💜

i wanted to share that my bf just told me yesterday he wanted some space, to take a little break to figure things out. we did not break up, he told me that's not what he wanted us to do. i'm still really heartbroken about it bc i have bad separation anxiety and it's taking over my brain rn.

i was hoping for a drabble about soap comforting a reader who's dealing with that kind of situation, i was leaning towards the best friend au.

thank you so much for bringing me joy with your fics and headcanons 💜

- 🔪💕

hello my love, im sorry for being late to this ask but im sending all my best wishes your way ♥ wrote a silly little thing for you and hope it helps, if you need to talk, im here !!

johnny is the first one to notice something is amiss with you, your usually bright smile absent when he tries to make you laugh as he always does. 

a nudge to the shoulder, a retelling of one of simon's jokes that you've always loved, and nothing--just that same forced smile that doesn't bare your teeth or reach your eyes. his heart sinks every time he sees it, and every time he resolves within himself to try harder, to find something to make you smile properly again. 

as your best mate in the whole world, johnny supposed that you were just waiting for the right moment to talk about whatever it is that's clearly bothering you, but after days of nothing, he grows restless. 

it's one night in the rec room that he finally gets his answers. 

you're sandwiched between simon and johnny on the lumpy couch--despite johnny campaigning for it being his turn to pick the film for the night (where he secretly resolves to pick your favourite movie), simon is having none of it, and shoves on whatever he likes while johnny whines. 

"guess we're struggling tonight, lass." johnny jokes, playfully elbowing you as he tries to make you smile. 

you manage to roll your eyes in return, the slightest of smiles on your lips. "i'm sure we'll live." 

usually, you spend your nights texting your boyfriend, almost always in constant contact, as johnny fights for a scrap of attention. 

it doesn't escape your best friends attention that tonight, despite unlocking and locking your phone constantly, no notifications come. it doesn't escape his attention that your lockscreen is no longer two grinning embracing faces, but something aesthetic, impersonal. 

johnny can't hold himself back any longer. perhaps if you can't talk about it, you can find another way to tell him what's going on. 

your phone pings with a notification, your body going stiff and rigid, only relaxing when you see that it isn't your now ex, but johnny. you rush to open the text, casting a questioning look at the man next to you whose eyes are glued to his screen that is just tilted out of your view. 

> came up on my memories today :) 

attached is a picture of the two of you, from a year ago today, johnny's arm slung around your shoulders as you both smile so sweetly at the camera. you're both a little on the tipsy side, but were having the absolute best night by each other's side, forgetting about everything but enjoying your time together.

even the sight of the photo sparks a joy within you that you haven't felt since you got the news. you've not been blind to the way johnny's constant warmth has surrounded you, but only now can you feel it begin to seep into your weary soul. a reminder of better times, and hope that one day you'll smile like that again--it's a balm to your battered heart.

you double tap the message, adding a little floating heart in response as another of johnny's messages comes through.

> thought you needed a smile, bonnie girl.

and smile now you do, a lightness filling you, with your best friend at your side. the one man you can truly count on.

< i did, thanks johnny <3

his bubble appears, typing before it disappears--over and over again until a message finally pops through.

> wanna talk about it? 

somehow, the words feel easier to type than to speak--so much simpler without the fear that you won't be able to get through your words for fear of crying.

< we're on a break. i wasn't expecting it. just came out of nowhere. 

you expect johnny to send warm words of encouragement, but instead he's pulling you into his arms, completely disregarding simon's presence, ignoring anything else besides the overwhelming need to comfort you. 

"'m sorry, lass. doesnae know what he's missing out on. nae need to say anything, i've got ye now."

he says nothing more, as if he can sense that words aren't not what you need right now. instead, he lets you find home in his arms and starts his mission of holding you until all the pain goes away.

[b00tyliciousbabe]

Guys who could rearrange and flood my guts…pt 1

Welcome to the new hit series, “Guys who I need to clap tf out of my fat ass cheeks.” DISCLAIMER: do not judge me, i fantasise a lot but (unfortunately) irl I ain’t done anything (yet 🤭)

Logan Mandeville

WARNING: THIS IS LONG AF AND NOT PROOFREAD BUT ENJOY.

This guy just gives off BDE, I mean look at him; the toned abs, the strong arms, the body hair - he’s a fucking unit. In my opinion, he’s ugly hot as well, one of my biggest weaknesses. I’m from the UK and he legit looks like one of those white chavs/roadmen that would spark you if you even looked at them, and I find that so attractive. Ughhh I can just imagine him talking so tough and chavvy 😩 but at the same time I can picture him with a Boston accent and that literally makes me wanna suck the soul out of his dick. I kinda think I’m projecting my dream guy qualities onto him because I find him so leng but idc because I love it MWAHAHAAAA

Keeping the roadman aesthetic, I keep fantasing abt sucking him off in his tracksuit and eventually him piping me on the hood of his car. Let’s visualise, he looks like a Liam so for the sake of smut that’s what we are gonna call him…

(setting the scene: you guys are at a party)

It was a cool autumn night,

“Babe you look so fit tonight.” Your boyfriend said grabbing your waist and pulling your lips together. He had always loved seeing you in his brown leather jacket, it looked so big on you, but everyone loved how you styled the look. The kiss lasted for what felt like forever. The lights, the music, the people all drowned out, the only think that mattered rn was the two of you. “So do you,” you said as he stopped tongue fucking your mouth.

See the relationship u had with him was something special. From the moment he laid eyes on you, Liam wanted you to be his. Everyone at school loved you - the nerds, the band kids, the cheerleaders even the students who were basically alienated. What wasn’t to love? All of them…except the homophobes 🤮🤮, and since Liam was captain of the football team, he was guilty by association. That didn’t stop you from finding him attractive. You guys were never even meant to meet. But the day your lives became the storyline of an American teen show and he needed to raise his grade in English, was the day you both SAW each other.

“I’m never going to be as smart as you, no one can compare to the way you are.” Liam told you, and if you weren’t black, you would’ve even as bright as a tomato. “Look at me, you are gonna ace that test, you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for Li” You smiled at him, the eye contact just increasing the sexual tension between you two. “Tell you what,” he said licking his lips whilst staring at you twirling your hair and marking his essay, “if I pass this exam” “WHENNN” you interrupted, “when I pass this exam, would you wanna, maybe go on a date?” You smiled at him so innocently, “Of course, but it means you have to get at least 70%” “70%!! I’m barely pushing 50, omds.” Stop talking negatively, i want you to pass more than you think I do, now more than ever” I defended as Liam smirked at your newfound interest in being with him. Your bf went onto get a 87% in the exam, 2nd highest to ur 98%, and ofc that meant you had to go on a date.

(BACK TO THE STORY) you left him to chat to his teammates who loved your relationship, talk abt growth 👏👏 you went to talk to some of your best friends and the vibe was just so good. Everyone was dancing to the Weeknd. It was crazy in a good way obv. All of a sudden the captain of your school’s rival team starts touching on you. “yooo chill, don’t touch on me like that,” you said and your friends helped you to forget about him. “He’s such a perv, as if you would do anything,” they said “I know right, like I know I look good but come on” you attested. But he didn’t stop and Liam could see you were uncomfortable from the other side of the room. He stared with anger, as he downed his shot of whiskey. He moved towards you. “Is there a problem here babe,” he kissed your cheek as he hugged you from behind. “Nah, Li there’s no issue,” you smiled smugly at the dickhead who tried moving to you. “Can we go love?” You stared up at him. “Of course.” He said gripping your waist tighter, your eyes calming him down. You held his hand, rubbing his forearm to soothe him. “Yh Liam, listen to your lil (f-slur) bitch,” The whole party turned silent. He stopped walking, and you looked back at him to see he was fuming. “Li-Li, just ignore him,” you said with teary ish eyes and shallowed breath. He wiped your cheek. “You go I’ll see you in a bit,” He signalled to your friends to take you outside. “No, I ain’t leaving without you” you gripped his hand. “Babe, I’ll be out in a minute, just go”. Your friends helped you get out of there. The rest was a blur; You remember that your man walked out of that house with a bloodied shirt and blood covered broken knuckles, but at least he was consciously walking, and didn’t have to spend 6 months on life support, limping with a leg that would never kick the same. But hey, no one messes with you.

[libra-stellium]

Venus Transits I tracked!

Descriptions from Planets in Transit - Robert Hand

Venus opposite Moon (Apr 17 - Apr 21)

Any problems under this transit are likely to come from doing something to excess

Did I drink a whole bottle of wine on 4/20? yes. Was I feeling it the next day? yes lol Do I regret it? nope! I was trying to have a great night in and that's exactly what I had!

This transit arouses your affections and makes you willing to give and receive love, relationships with women are meaningful

I made this really good pasta with mussels and I invite my aunt to have dinner with me which is simple but I don't usually do that lol

The rest of this transit description was talking about problems in romantic relationships but I'm single soooo N/A

Venus opposite Mercury (Apr 18 - Apr 22)

Favorable time for communication about love and relationships

If you watch 911 you know how it's been this month lol but I've been enjoying watching people watch the show for the first time! Idk which day exactly but it had me thinking about how I used to write fics when I was younger and make fan videos of shows lol such a fun time! Then I had a convo with my bestie about her love live bc she's a late bloomer and naturally is scared of everything lmao

The mercurial side of your personality does not take emotional matters seriously

I forgot to pay attention to this lmfao but I know I was a joker this entire time! lmao I tried to cut back but everything was just toooo funny!!

Be careful what you say about friends and loved ones under this transit , someone may take it seriously

I made a separate entry about the last time this transit happened for me in 2021 so this time around I was very intentional to not talk about anybody lmao about to make myself a shirt like "My friends and I survived my Venus Opposite Mercury transit <3"

One of the most unemotional of all Venus transits

I don't know lol is laughter not an emotion? I was intrigued by this when I wrote it but maybe I would have experienced this if I didn't know it was happening? Or maybe it was something small like me laughing during the serious situation in a show bc the drama was just toooo much I had to laugh lmao

Venus trine MC (Apr 18 - Apr 22)

Good time for any kind of creative activity/getting involved in the arts

I randomly started cooking this pasta with mussels and I've never made it before and it came out so good!!

Excellent time to redecorate your home and make your personal surroundings more attractive, you are much more sensitive to the aesthetic nature of your surroundings

I did do my dishes and clean my kitchen!

Time when you feel very affectionate and have a great need to express your affection, you are pleasant to be around, others can sense how you feel about them which makes them feel good

I didn't really feel thisss? I'm usually pleasant to be around anyway lol but I did text a couple more friends during this time and we were laughing a lot

Transit makes you feel peaceful and anxious to avoid conflict

Bro this bc after my job messed up my pay last week they asked me to update my timesheet again and I was on that email and had it fixed in 2 minutes lmao just for my supervisor to be like oh she doesn't see it on her end like girl....i texted her pictures of my screen like it's there! Don't stress me out!

Venus square Neptune (Apr 21 - Apr 25)

Transit stimulates your romantic imagination making you somewhat unrealistic

As a libra with a pisces rising this was just another regular day lmao but I was more in my synchronicity bag because on 4/25 I started reading this book that I stopped reading last year on May 19 bc I left it in my friend's car for months and I was reading something else by the time I got it back buttttt the back of the page I stopped on the main character was talking about how the only place she had visited in Europe was Amsterdam and i was like ohmygod??? What are the odds that i was so close to reading that last year and it's now almost a year later and I travel to Amsterdam ON MAY 19???

Daydreaming and creativity are high

Idk if that counts but I stitched a tiktok on 4/23 and it's still getting engagement and it's at 50k+ views rn on 4/28 and like 7k+ likes lolll

Venus square Uranus (Apr 24 - Apr 28)

You seek excitement and stimulation through love relationships

single as a pringle lol

Tendency to flirt under this influence, don't make anything more out of an encounter than what it really is

I didn't go anywhere bc work had me working for real during this time and now it's the weekend and I have my period but one of my friends posted a story about how her outfit made her look like a teacher and I commented "What's 5x5? Twenty Fine!!" lmfaoo the corniest pick up line and I still think I was so funny for saying that lol

You are likely to be impulsive with money

yeah Sweetgreen has had me in a chokehold ngl lol every year I go through a phase where I get obsessed with a salad from there! $18 is absolutely wild but so so good! Just writing this makes me want to order again omg

[luciawithoutj]

It is 2 am so sorry if what I am writing doesn't make any sense but I finally realized what vibe Joker Out songs give me and why I like them so much. Also english isn't my first language and I have dyslexia so I am sorry for any spelling mistakes or if my thoughts sound like they are all over the place.

It is a bit long post so I put the cut.

First I am gonna talk about Vem Da Greš because I am listening to it right now and it got me thinking. That songs feels like those teenager (or even childhood) nostalgic memories of late august or september until beginning of october (depending on where you live) or later spring when days are getting longer. But basically that time of the year when it is hot enough to be outside and wear summer clothes but chilly enough to not die from the heat. That song feels like evenings in those months. It feels like those moments when you are just going home from the beach while the sun is setting down. It feels like those evenings when you are sitting on the balcony or in some park with your friends and just chatting and laughing. That song is so summer sunsets colored. It makes you feel really warm inside but at the same time deep inside of you you feel a bit of sadness and stress crippling in because you know that these beautiful moments won't last forever so you try to enjoy the moment and take most of it into your heart. It feels like those last free day before school starts on monday. Also this songs are really small suburbs or small towns or even villages vibes.

And a lot of their songs give major evening - night vibes and that is why they concerts work so great during those time of day and they are perfect for small venues because you feel it on more personal level then when you are part of huge crowd. (maybe other people have different experiences, this is just mine from concerts I went too). Their songs make you want to make memories but not just to post them on social media but to actually be present and enjoy the moment while it lasts. Take it all in. Be human and enjoy life.

But they have those songs that have more darker themes which are so gloomy late nights coded or have vibes of afternoon in winter months when it has been dark since 3 pm. And some of them really go for those balkan winter vibes that some westerners that see those "eastern europe aesthetic" videos and call them sad and depressing but we who grow up there feel warm, at home and nostalgic. In that darkness, concreate, coldness, rainy weather we see some kind of harsh beauty. Those songs really gives those big cities with lot of concretes that feel empty and lost in time during winter months. It feels like you are stuck in still picture forever and you are drowning and can't get our but in a way you maybe don't want to escape and want to keep drowning and losing yourself until you become nobody just a dark figure at 3 am sitting on a cold bench, smoking and drinking while you think how everything went downhill. Basically those songs are just big cities where you go to chase better life but end up losing.

Barve Oceana and Tokio are only day songs in my mind. They are only really light and pastel and colorfull. And for some reason ngvot for me is especially really really early morning song that gives me hope for new beginnings (but that is maybe because that song got me into fandom and because of it I made my first (kris guštin) poster and joker out fanart in general).

Overall they make type of songs that feel really nostalgic for diffrent times in my life and they make me appreciate life more, both the nice part of it but also the moody and dark part becuse both have their special vibes and beauty.

Honestly I am not sure what did I yapp about and if anything makes sense but one day when my art skills get good enough I want to make joker out fanart that perfectly capture those summer evening with friends in small neighborhood and alone winter nights in big concrete city vibes.

If you came this far thank you for reading all that mess and thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

[vexxandra]

intuitive messages from your person (really specific so probably not gonna resonate lol)

first time doing this! a bit of practice, since im not good with listening to my intuition. but were trying new things this new year. lool lets get started :D

m tellin u its like super SUPER specific ;D

pile one:

things that could have significance : genshin, but more specifically, wishing, debate clubs, when you wish upon a star, steven universe end credits (love like you), lavender or mint, milk, the name sofia?, sweaters or oversized clothes,  telephone (the song or the object), dial/tone, closet

hello dear. have i been away for too long? apologies, work is very hard nowadays and i find that ive been losing myself more and more. but ive been thinking about you quite a lot. especially at night. dreaming of you. ive been irresponsable, not answering your calls quickly enough and leaving things to pile up between the two of us. but please know that im working very hard and trying the best i can. you must be furious with me, and i can understand that. give me more time, and i promise i wont let you down. id never let you down. i love you too much to ever be able to do that. ive been losing sleep, and thats tiring because i get to see you when i sleep so i find that ive been taking meds more often to help with that. thats stupid, and id know you tell me the same. god, i wish you were next to me right now. then id fall asleep quicker than a light flicks off. music. ill speak to you through our favorite songs, and ill listen for things you say to me in yours as well. its time for me to say good bye though. know that nothing has changed between us, and i care for you as much as ever before.

signed, yours.

pile two:

things that could have significance: grocery stores at night, denki kaminari vibes honestly!!, mixtapes (like old cassette ones), guitar, dog or pets, crescent, artic monkeys, blasting music super loud, summertime, you get me so high - the neighbourhood, electric (or electric love)

gee, its really been a while since we’ve talked last. you’re my best friend, ill love you forever, yknow that? you’re super cool. cooler than popsicles on a summer day. cooler than penguins in the north pole. wait-- penguins live in the south pole? no one told me that?! hey! its not my fault, i never knew that. jeez... still teasing as ever, huh? sometimes i wonder how it would have been if i hadn’t moved away/transferred schools. we’d be tightknit! and we already are. there are so many stupid pictures of us in my camera roll that i jsut scroll through them when i feel like i miss you. nahh im just playing! i always miss you! we should totally hang out sometime soon! lets race grocery carts!

see ya! - your best friend

pile three:

things that could have significance: notebooks, preppy or academia aesthetic, fandom or into dnd, pearls or pearly whites, ‘shade’ colors (white, grey, black-- but emphasis on grey), 505 by artic monkeys, classroom, bunch of school imagery

dear you

why do you have to be so perfect? ive always been top of my class, such an overachiever, but with you, its like all of my accomplishments are suddenly fade away. you’re awesome like that, you know. stop letting your parents control your life. you’re a super smart person, dont let anyone EVER tell you otherwise. oh, and you can let your hair down too. im not gonna judge you, and plus, i think you look nice without your hair all tight like that. meet me at our spot. the spot that’s only ours. a place where we can just be ourselves. what? stop playing around, trying to get me to tell you again. what if someone sees this letter?! its just something between you and me, and i know i can trust you. id trust you with my life, pile three. im serious. stay the way you are. dont become a product of society. you’re absolutely perfect the way you are.

from, yours

pile four TW: Harsh truth! Please don’t read unless you’re ready and willing

things that could have significance: floating, or sinking(into a mattress, or in water), bath/bathing, milky way or space in general, being loved by a ghost, anxiety/confusion, salt or minerals. lots of comparisons here, so that could be something too. also francis forever - mitski and last words of a shooting star -mitski

this person didn’t have a letter to write to you. they were very blocky and choppy and took long pauses in between of answering. also, these are just sentences, so everytime there’s a period, its a sentence ending, and a new idea beginning

i dont need you. i have everything i need. so why are you here? what am i missing? what do i not understand? stop getting into my head. ive been thinking of you. you look nice. (dont) call me. please trust me, i can keep my promises. that, i can swear. bandaids cant heal my scars. sometimes i just want to fall asleep for a long time, and you cant stop or save me. they mean more to me than you. forever. i still care about you. they lied. im getting bored. you used to be the sun. what dont you understand? i still loved you. goodbye. (bonus message: they wont last)

[desirepathzine]

The Magic of Sara Landry

As a tween, I was so fascinated with electronic music. Nothing could bypass the television static in my brain and get me through tasks and trials like those methodical beeps and boops. My first brush with it was The Social Network soundtrack, composed by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. I didn't know music could sound like that, elicit that sort of feeling.

This grew into a love of industrial, EBM, and aggrotech as I grew into my dancing years, going out to clubs that would play the sledgehammer hits of Nitzer Ebb and the mesmerizing arppegiations of VNV Nation.

"Techno" when and where I was growing up was largely relegated to blasting "Sandstorm" over and over again and the occasional Skrillex remix. In my classically trained family, why would you be interested in someone whose job was to stand at a Macbook and press a few buttons? I didn't really think of the aforementioned

But in the last year, as I look for new horizons to make my nascent workout plans hit a little harder, I discovered so many amazing DJs and electronic wizards who curate incredible sets and bring the energy that can carry me through even the laziest of days. HORSEGRL, Brutalismus, Dana Montana, all amazing, but my favorite and most admired is the inimitable Sara Landry.

Sara first came across my radar thanks to a dear friend. They both have ADHD, and my friend loved her openness and approach to living with the challenges that ADHD can present.

Sara is sincerely open and honest about how her particular bag of neurodivergence affects her work and music, something her growing legion of fans connects with, deeply. One of my favorite pictures of her is during her incredible all-night Knockout set where she is surrounded by sweaty dancing patrons holding a sign that reads, "WE'RE HIGH ON ADHD". She is very playful with her audience, even as the music she spins is breakneck, intense, hardcore, noisy, techno.

And what beautiful noise it is. It's always a treat to both hear something new, whether just a song that was not on my radar or a Sara original from her Hekate label, and the familiar classics flipped through her own vision in her sets. Landry gained attention on TikTok for playing Noise Mafia's insane edit of MIA's Paper Planes during a Boiler Room set, as well as her Perfect (Exceeder) flip that emerged on the internet just as that track resurfaced for the smash SALTBURN soundtrack. Good timing? Yes. But would we have noticed even if that song wasn't rising back up into the charts? I think so.

Techno fans and followers are often talking up 'the energy' of going to a rave or a DJ set. Such woo-woo hippie talk can sound maybe even a little corny to those of us who have been outside of it, but after watching a Landry set, I totally believe in it. Sara even says as much in her various interviews, noting that she likens her performances to reiki, “where people are taking in my energy and releasing what does not serve them.” (DJMag, April 2024). She's here to serve as a conduit, taking us to higher, heavier, and more chaotic places.

Her aforementioned Boiler Room set has over five million youtube hits, and I would warrant about 15 of those are mine. My room has never been cleaner, my workouts have never been easier, and my Apex Legends competitive ranking has never been higher. The last twenty or so minutes of that set are spellbinding, a live looping segment that takes the already high energy so high that you assume the roof of the Boiler Room must be somewhere in the stratosphere.

Within all of the witchy aesthetics and breakneck beats, here is someone living with their neurodivergence, finding what works for them, being open and approachable about how their mind works, and thriving. Some might find it counter intuitive that such a light worker plays such chaotic music, dresses exclusively in black with dark dramatic eye looks, and makes silly TikToks in their downtime, but Sara Landry is bringing a searing white light of energy wherever she goes.

[queenimmadolla]

ALWAYS, ok just a fun little question, I need to know why you’re so drawn to Eddie, JUST GO HAM AND GUSH ABOUT IT BABE

Boy am I glad I fixed (i think) the read more thing because I’ll give you everything I got:

I gotta start this off by saying i had no intentions and no interest in watching stranger things 4 when it premiered. The wait between season 3 and 4 was pretty long, especially because of covid and while i had attempted to keep the interest up, there wasn’t a whole lot of the fandom active until a little before st4 dropped, but the last time i was here, it was dead as hell. And so i left, not ever expecting to come back. then one day, after st4 had started streaming i was just scrolling through twitter and i saw a picture of Eddie. He piqued my interest immediately, the only thing i could equate it to is like when you were in high school, catching sight of someone you never really noticed before and being completely smitten at first sight. I wanted to know more about him, needed to. So i finally started the new season.

One thing that’s important to know before i detail exactly why i became so interested in Eddie is a little background information that i wont go too deep into detail about, but i lost my dad in early 2021. We were very close, he also liked Stranger Things (both of my parents did but we’re not gonna talk about my mom’s favs rn) and our bond only deepened during my late teenage years because of how into 70s and 80s music i was (am, but you’d think I was a 70s girl if you saw me)—like everyone else who was a teenager through st1-3, IT, and watched all the 80s tv shows that aired on like nick at night, tbs, tvland, etc.—and those were my dad’s golden years, he’d been in several bands and a DJ. He played the guitar (left me with so many guitars and a ton of amps) and he could absolutely SHRED it. He appreciated all genres—really, he just loved any song with a good guitar solo—but he loved rock and heavy metal, for obvious reasons (the guitar shredding). He was definitely a metal head, though he didn’t look the part (he’s black, heavily resembled Wesley Snipes especially back then, and you wont ever see a whole lot of aesthetics of black metal heads of the 80s for obvious reasons, and he was rocking the jerry curl lol, but it was a mullet). He was a pretty intimidating looking dude, that never stopped him from singing along to R5 with me and the Jonas brothers, one direction, Kelly clarkson, he’d encourage my love for music in whatever form/genre I liked. He got so excited when I also finally started appreciating the same type of music he did, but that wasn’t til around 2 or 3 years before he passed. And then when he did, i didn’t have any to talk to about it.

And here came Eddie, to the rescue (he and the rest of the Hawkins gang also popped up when I was being iced out of my only friend group at the time and I was really depressed). I liked Eddie, not only because I was INSTANTLY attracted to him, I also liked his style, I liked his hair, his pretty brown eyes (what they do to me should be illegal), how adaptable he was (stern when the hellfire boys needed it, gentle around people he could tell were shaken) and how he encouraged people to maintain their individuality (namely Dustin, while Eddie was really hot in the cafeteria scene, I wasn’t too fond of how he was ragging on people for what they liked, because they weren’t like him—when they weren’t even harassing or bothering him and I didn’t care for how he was unwilling to see Lucas—one of his little sheepies who was finding his way—play in one of the most important games to him but we got more Erica out of it so I’ll forgive him). His voice is also surprisingly comforting to me, I can’t explain why. AND HIS THEATRICS! My god, I could imagine watching him goof around, letting himself collapse onto the floor because of trivial things and just being dramatic and funny, all day long. The best part about him, is that he’s the most real feeling boy out of the “core three” (Steve, Jonathan and Eddie, I don’t count Billy for me because I don’t like him for obvious reasons) to me. See, I’ve been interested in all three of those boys. Jonathan first, then Steve (and still kind of) but my loyalty is to Eddie. Jonathan was first because it was Jonathan VS Steve, you know? The quiet underdog from the wrong side of the tracks, the good boy. it’s a character trope but a good one. And then Steve, former mean rich boy with a heart of gold. Another excellent character trope. Both of those boys are picture perfect Teenage Dreams. Then you have Eddie, who—I can’t explain how I know, I just do—would bark at someone who was bothering him until they were freaked out enough to go away. He’s considered trailer trash, a metal head with messy hair who deals drugs, becomes a friend to freshmen who no one else wants to associate with, starts arguments with the ‘popular’ crowd—that boy is NOT a victim, if Chrissy hadn’t died in that trailer he would have been harassing Jason and his crew more than the other way around lol—talks in weird voices, has weird gimmicks all while comforting sad girls, being chivalrous enough to help them into boats and holding Robin during the quakes in the Upside Down. In my opinion he’s far from a bad boy and difficult to stick into one character trope box. And out of all the boys, he’s the most realistic Teenage Dream. He’s one of a kind but it also feels like I could find him somewhere out in the world.

But my favorite thing about Eddie is the fact that I know I’d be gushing all about my love for him to my dad if he were alive. And my dad wouldn’t mind because he’d be his favorite character, too, with all of their shared interests and how Eddie is kind of the epitome for the crowd he used to be a part of. Sometimes, I entertain the idea it’d feel an awful lot like telling my dad about a boyfriend and him finally like him, my dad hated all my boyfriends and refused to let me tell him ANYTHING about them. Like everyone else who loves Eddie, I wish he was real, but mostly for that reason. Honestly, I’d barely be able to be friends with Eddie. My crush on him would be way too intense for me to like operate as a normal human being around him and with him, I can tell I’d regress to my high school self and love/admire from afar because of my shyness. Those high school crushes were pretty magical for me, though nothing ever came from them (I didn’t start my maneater ways until after high school when I got hot and started doing drugs) and yeah, that’s the type of teenage dream he is for me. My love for him is intense enough to have me not only reading fanfiction—which isn’t all that surprising because I’ve been doing it since elementary school—but freaking WRITING it!!! I can count the amount of times I’d done so in the past on one hand (most of which I deleted a long ass time ago) and still have fingers available. Now, i can’t stop. I just can’t. And it’s all because of him. Everything i write is like my way of writing a love letter to Eddie. Even if I did stop writing, I wouldn’t ever stop being drawn to him.

So, all of that is why I’m so drawn to him, why I really do love him, and why I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let him go. And you might notice a lot of that also reflects in my writing.

So, all of that is why I’m so drawn to him, why I really do love him, and why I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let him go. And you might notice a lot of that also reflects in my writing.