#I was so upset when I saw winston wasn’t there yet

[thehoodedsweater]

Forgot to post this last week

They’re here!!!!!! (The blob is crossed out potentially personal info like names and addresses so they’re crossed out)

Originally I only ordered Ray and Peter online at Boxlunch, and when I went to pick them up, I saw they had Egon at hot topic! For some reason Winston’s not there yet- either sold out or shipping issues, but when I know he’s in I’ll be buying him to complete the set!!

(Also, bonus info, the proton streams are removable!! You can switch them out between the guys if you so please :])

[wisteriaiswriting]

i absolutely love your writing! may i request for hanzo x reader where its a slowburn, how they confess their feelings:>

𝔹𝕝𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖

Words: 1113

Blackwatch wasn’t an ideal organization to be in but it had everything paid, so you couldn’t complain, more likely wouldn’t since you could complain about almost anything.

So you weren’t surprised when it was finally shut down, only the fact it was kept going for all these years. But hey, you have plenty of extra money saved up. It really opened your eyes to plenty of risks.

The day you left you promised yourself, don’t work with anyone. Especially previous blackwatch members, they were terrible. As the years passed you kept your promise, turning down plenty of people who asked for various reasons. Not that you cared.

But you knew one day your connections would come back, after all you didn’t seal the ends. Only it was a seemingly improved Overwatch finding you, cornering you after a long chase.

You knew most of the team, only a few stood out. They had sent Mercy, Kiriko, Mei and Winston, with one more person you were unaware of. Unable to get a good look as he stayed back, seemingly aware of your intent.

“Y/N, we have an offer for you.”

“Really? I would’ve thought it was for someone else.” Your joke fell flat, but laughing wasn’t your intention.

“Listen, we have all the evidence to put you in jail, or you can help us.”

“Why would I want to help you?” She sighed as if she knew you would be difficult.

“One, you stay out of jail and two we have some people you might want to see again.”

Again? There weren't many people you wanted to see again, not from your past. But again it would surely be better than whatever you’ve been doing.

“Sure, I guess.” As soon as you answered an arm was thrown around your shoulder.

“We were warned how stubborn you were!” Who told them?

***

Genji.

It was Genji who told them. How did you know? Well a certain cowboy had been informed, then coming to bother you with that information.

“Seems like we’re a lot more similar than I thought.”

“Sounds like a nightmare.”

“Blunt as ever Y/N.” Even with the years apart neither of your humour changed one bit. But Genji’s did, a lot changed that you were quick to notice.

“Just have to lose your arm then you’ll almost be siblings, maybe twins even.”

“C’mon now Genji,” Cassidy tried to steer the conversation another direction, unaware of the pair of spying eyes.

The eyes belonged to the butt of his joke, his brother Hanzo. He was unsure about anyone, much more with new recruits. But knowing you had history with Blackwatch and his brother? He never wanted to speak to you.

But it seemed his dragons didn’t hold the same sentiment. As a few days later he couldn’t find them, calling for them didn’t work. So he had to go hunting. Gaining a lead when he saw their tails disappearing around a corner, swiftly yet silently following.

Only to find a more than upsetting sight. They were floating around you before leaning down to eat something from your hand. Catching sight of a third, green dragon hanging around your neck.

Instead he only watched, not interrupting. As much as he disliked you there was a high level of respect, not only did you befriend his brother in some of the toughest years in his life, only to return and act like nothing changed.

But you gained the respect and attention of his dragons. Who didn’t show any to anyone other than him, even then it was limited. Maybe you weren’t as bad as he thought you would be, just don’t expect him to be all buddy buddy right now.

***

It was meant to be quick, in then out before anyone knew it. But apparently the plan wasn’t kept under wraps, as the enemies found out.

And they hatched their own plan, and it was instant. The attack caused everyone to back away, intending to regroup after fighting them off. Except for you, as they changed their mind at the last second.

Two of them fought you, then they followed the plan. Blocking you off from your team so with no other choice you rushed the other way, right into their trap.

Which no one realized until later, having regrouped but missing you. They couldn’t go far so their search was limited. Also causing Hanzo to panic, even if no one saw it.

With his mind unfocused his dragons took the chance to float away, they knew where you were. Not sure how or why but they just did, ending up finding a horrible sight.

Laying in the foetal position was you, blood surrounded your body. Their missing presence, the unknown feeling of dread has him rushing after them, finding you.

He’s seen this story once and it didn’t end well. He wasn’t going to let it happen again.

“Stay awake.” His voice pulled you into reality once again, being in his arms kept you from slipping under. “I can not let you go, not now.”

“Hmm?” You heard the words but their meaning didn’t reach you. And he seemed to notice, likely hoping he could say his feelings and you would forget. It was best for him.

“スターライト, you’ve managed to burn through my walls, melting them as you burrowed deeper. I won’t let you burn out.”

His sentence was finished by pulling you closer to leave a gentle, almost unfeelable kiss on your forehead. Picking up his pace when he noticed your eyes shutting, the many voices drowned out by sudden silence.

***

Everything felt wrong. Any exposed skin was too fold, except your neck. Which was sweltering, your collar soaking up all the sweat.

What really caught your attention was the weight on your stomach. When you tried to look down it shifted, revealing itself to be a person. Specifically Hanzo.

He had seemingly fallen asleep while waiting for you to wait up, ending up laying on your stomach. Meanwhile his dragons had shrunk down to become a makeshift scarf. Moving when you did.

At some point you moved too much, waking them. And in turn Hanzo, who shot up when he realized.

His mouth moved but nothing came out, his eyes searching through yours. Going still before launching forwards, pulling you into his arms.

“I… apologise for not arriving sooner,” Leaning away but never letting your hands go, “And for that I will treat you to a dinner of your choice.”

“Well I accept your apology,” Releasing a deep breath he seemed to be holding. “I’ll inform you of my choice.” A small smile formed on his face, not bothering to hide it.

***

スターライト - Starlight

[dalusional]

Together Forever.

Dallas Winston x Fem Reader

Angst/Fluff

Warnings: mentions of death?

Description: “Johnny was the only thing Dally loved.” Was an understatement. Dallas left this cruel world at the loss of his best friend Johnny, but he also left his lover Ruthie behind. The agonizing feeling Dally went through that night was something nobody ever deserves to go through… but his choice of leaving Ruthie behind passed it on to her. Between the remembrance of lies he told her “We will always be together, together forever.” and the idea of him not being there to comfort her through this feeling overtakes her- but what if Dallas can comfort her?

- I know realistically Dallas probably wouldn’t act like this but I like to reflect on the other side of him that isn’t shown ( display what it may be like ) 🩷

“I think i’m feeling it now.. just like he did” I said to myself as I jogged down the sidewalk. I didn’t know where I was going but I needed to get away. I could hear Pony and Two-bit calling for me from behind. They knew how upset I was, but I couldn’t stand being with them without seeing his face. I had lost the love of my life 5 months ago, Dallas Winston. Hell..he was the one who showed me there was more to life then what I was hit with at home. He was more than a lover, he saved me.. he was my life. I couldn’t stand the thought of him not being here anymore. Ever since he practically took his own life I felt as if mine was slipping away too.

I never thought I could physically feel so low in my life. The gang had told me their pal Johnny was the only thing Dallas ever loved before I came along, and when I came along he started focusing on me over Johnny. I’ll never be able to erase the facial expression Dallas held as he watched Johnny leave him alone in this fucked up world. It drove him insane.. all the morals Dallas lived by were thrown in his face, not because he didn’t live by them, because Johnny didn’t. Johnny was the sweetest boy you’d ever meet, I think that’s why Dallas loved him so much- he saw the side of himself he couldn’t be inside Johnny, and he wanted to protect it.The act of kindness Johnny delivered to this world killed him, and that drove Dallas over the edge.

The gut wrenching feeling Dallas overcame that night was now spreading through my gut. It was so painful I couldn’t take it. He promised me, he promised he’d be with me forever. Between the thought of him breaking his promise and the idea that he wasn’t here to comfort me through this agony was too much. I stopped jogging and suddenly stood still, the adrenaline within me took over- I felt a high rush within my blood as I stood completely still. Within seconds a bright light overcame my already blurred sight of tears and a loud screeching overtook the yells of the boys chasing after me.

It all felt so surreal. I could hear the screams of terror coming from Pony and Two-bit. They sounded so close yet so far.. but I also saw Dallas, looking as handsome as ever. He looked so at peace, no worry in his face at all… not as we’d last saw him. just as if he could’ve looked younger yet the same age he had died as, that’s what he looked like. No furrowed eyebrows, no black eyes, no forehead wrinkles constructed from trauma, just a softened version of Dal… finally shown to be possible. My lover, my soulmate, had he came to see me? I don’t know, maybe the impact of the car crashing into my figure threw me into a daze? As I tried to deconstruct the situation infront of me, he slowly reached his hand out to mine and reluctantly I took it. Their screams echoed through my ears making me feel dizzy, but they began to fade out. The last thing I heard was a mix of Pony’s harsh sobs and Two-Bits soft spoken cries as he uttered “don’t worry Ruthie, the doctors are on their way.” As if it were a dream I closed my eyes expecting the image of Dallas to go away, but it didn’t. My hand was still in his and the cries had stopped. “You’re okay now Ruthie. You’re okay.” He said as he flashed me with that same ol’ smirk of his. “You missed me that much huh?” The warmness of his words was something I’d missed so much. “He hasn’t changed at all.” I thought as I spat in an unsure tone. “Yeah, I sure did.”

“What did I tell ya, huh?” He smiled and swung an arm around me, pulling me closer to his broad figure. I looked up to him, his brown orbs stared softly into mine. God, I didn’t know what to say or what to do. I didn’t want the feeling to go away. “Please don’t go away,” is all I kept repeating in my head. I couldn’t get myself to reply to his remark, instead he finished for me. He softly brushed my hair behind my ear and connected our foreheads. Warm to the touch, he smiled “No matter what.. we will always find eachother. We are always going to be together doll, together forever.”

( Sorry for the shortness, it’s kinda rushed

requests excepted in the comments 💓

[sariahsue]

Footsteps

Marinette’s about to get married to her soulmate, a man she’s never met before. Too bad she meets that cute groomsman in the hallway first. Rated G. 4,000 words.

***

Marinette bunched the white lace of her train into her fists and walked faster, eyes searching the empty marble hallway. Just keep walking. She could get through today. One foot in front of the other.

All she needed was some fresh air. She thought a building as enormous as this one would have at least one window that she could open. Instead, sunlight streamed through vaulted arches taller than the bakery she'd lived in her whole life, mocking her.

Marinette poked her head around a corner into a side hallway, saw nothing but closed doors, expensive paintings (that couldn't be an actual van Gogh, right?), and a plush white rug, and walked past.

All she needed was a few quick breaths, a little bit of air to cool off her flushed face, and a few minutes away from her hovering family and bridesmaids so she could pull herself together. And then she would get right back.

How big was this building? Each hallway she looked down offered a new way to get lost, with smaller hallways coming off of the side hallways and as many doors as there had been guests and staff just an hour ago. She gripped her train harder. Staff that had disappeared to the banquet hall to set up for the reception. Guests that were nowhere in sight because they were being seated in the chapel right now.

A door snapped shut somewhere behind her, and she whirled around, her heart in her mouth at having been caught, but no one was there. Her eyes traced crystal vases on marble tables only put there to break up the vast space the building contained. Nothing moved. And nothing looked familiar.

Can I even find my way back now? 

It was a problem she would have to deal with later. She didn't have the capacity for one more thing to go wrong right now, so she marched forward to continue her quest.

Her heels click-clicked as she walked across the polished floor, and she could have sworn she heard the door closing once again.

The shoes were going to give her away. With shaking fingers, she reached down and unstrapped them. They swung from her hands as she kept going.

Just a few days ago, Marinette had been so excited to finally meet her soulmate and get married. Why had the feeling deserted her today?

She knew the answer. All week it had been building, but now that the day was here, the swirling anxiety that had been simmering below the surface of her joy just couldn't be ignored any longer.

Most people gave themselves a few weeks or at least a few days after meeting their soulmate to get married, but her husband-to-be, Adrien, had insisted on being "traditional." No seeing each other until the wedding. She hadn't even talked to him on the phone yet. They would fall in love at first sight, as she walked down the aisle. If she'd met him before, maybe right now she wouldn't be so-

Marinette bumped into a glass-topped side table, sending the empty crystal vase on top tilting dangerously. Dropping her train, she managed to grab it before anything smashed. She stood there, frozen, listening, waiting to see if anyone would scold her, but no one was around. With a whispered "Sorry!" at the vase, she put it back in its place and kept searching through the maze of hallways.

It must have cost a fortune to rent this humongous mansion for the day. A new worry stuck in her throat. I'm not going to be able to fit in with my husband's family, am I?  Adrien would love her completely. That's just how it worked. But what if her in-laws hated her because her parents weren't rich too?

Her panic spiral was halted by the sight of a familiar blue rug pattern in one of the side hallways. Marinette made her way over, window quest forgotten, and she tripped over her dress the whole way there.

The long, white walls were filled with paintings of fruit and flowers, like the ones she used to make in art class (but with lighting skills so good it made her want to cry), and no… she hadn't been down this way before. Even as upset as she was, the artist in her would have remembered.

Marinette took a few seconds too long to glare at an apple, and by the time she heard the whispering, it was far too late for her to hide.

"Sneaking," a male voice whispered.

Marinette turned toward the voice. Had someone seen her? Did someone know she was roaming the building alone? She saw no one. And she saw nowhere she could quickly hide.

A few feet in front of her, the hallway turned a corner and continued out of sight. Some of the hallways had been like that, leading to more corridors and rooms that she hadn't bothered to explore. The footsteps came closer.

"Sneaking around the corner."

If she held very still, maybe he wouldn't notice? She walked backwards and pressed into the white wall, the fabric of her dress rustling loudly with every step, every breath she took.

His shoes squeaked as a hunched figure came into view.

"I'm not sneaking!" Marinette blurted out as soon as she saw him.

He jerked up straight.

She noticed three things instantly. He was blond. He was holding his hands around his eyes, like binoculars or a mask, and he was in the nicest tuxedo she had ever seen.

The man was also quite a bit taller than her, but he still jumped back in alarm when he saw her, and finally lowered his hands. Brilliant green eyes went from shocked to soft and warm and inviting.

"S-sorry," he finally said. "I was the one sneaking around. No worries."

"Oh," Marinette said, heart beating in her throat. "Right. I wasn't sneaking."

He smiled, and Marinette was glad she was already leaning against a wall. He had to be the single most beautiful human being she'd ever met her in life.

"Um, nice to meet you?" he said. When he held out a hand to shake, she quickly took it. His hand was soft and gentle and warm. No ring on either hand that she could see. Gorgeous and single!

Guilt swept through her, making her drop his hand. Here she was, getting married in literally a few minutes and ogling someone else. But he was still smiling at her. No, she had to stop thinking like a single woman. But he was so pretty.

"Of course. So, uh," He looked down at her dress. "You must be the bride, huh? Marinette? Nice to meet you."

Sweat prickled on the back of her neck. Judging by his outfit, she'd just been caught by a member of the groom's wedding party, a groomsman or a family member. Would he tell her future husband that she was out here getting cold feet? Not that it wasn't true, but she didn't want her soulmate to know about it.

"And you are?" she asked, hoping to divert attention away from herself. "One of the wedding party, right?"

"Yeah," he whispered and reached for her hand again. "I am. I was out here looking for you. I'm A-"

She shrank back. No matter how much she wanted to, she shouldn't be thinking about him this way. She was getting married to someone else.

The man dropped his hand quickly, eyes roaming her face, like he was looking for what he had done wrong. When he couldn't find anything, he ran his fingers through his hair and stammered out an apology. Marinette watched each lock fall back into place, the light catching each strand and making him glow.

"I'm-" he tried again, a blush rising in his cheeks. "Ni- W-winston."

"Winston?" Marinette couldn't help but laugh a little. That was the least French-sounding name she'd ever heard.

"Winston the groomsman," he said, not looking at her. "Yes, old family name. My father's name, and his father's name, and I think I have an old uncle. Because we're British way back there somewhere on my mother's side-"

"Nice to meet you, 'Winston.'" It was apparent he was nervous, and she didn't want him to feel uncomfortable, so she changed the subject. "What are you doing out here? You were looking for me?"

"Um." He looked around the hallway for inspiration, and Marinette immediately regretted her question as she watched his discomfort grow.

"I- He- The groom wanted to meet you before the wedding," Winston confessed.

"He did?"

"Yeah, he wanted to break tradition and see you, but Fa- his father is stifling stick in the mud."

"Yeah?" The knowledge was somehow both comforting and unsettling. She and her future husband had both wanted to meet first, but her father-in-law… she wasn't going to fit in.

"Yeah," he breathed. "He can't wait to meet you. But he couldn't get away, so I thought I'd come out here. And, wow, he's going to love you. You're amazing."

Marinette flushed at the compliment. "Isn't that how it's supposed to work? Love and first sight and everything?"

"Sure," Winston said, "but you know what I mean."

In the distance, an organ started playing softly, but Marinette barely heard it. This man would go through all that trouble for a friend of his? He was so kind, and she was going gooey under his intense gaze.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked quietly.

Just like that, the glow was gone. Would he believe the truth, that she was just hoping for some fresh air? He might be sympathetic. But he might not be. Who would feel sorry for a bride on her wedding day?

"I was… looking for the bathroom and got super lost." She adjusted her skirt with one hand to give herself something to do and then laughed nervously. "This place is such a maze."

Winston didn't answer right away. He studied the train of her dress, mouth a thin line of disappointment. Her shoes dangled from her loose fingers as she waited, and she adjusted her grip.

"You don't have to get married today, you know," he said. "You can call it off."

Marinette squirmed at how perceptive he was - or maybe she was just obvious - and pushed her hair out of her eyes. When it fell back into place, Winston reached out to tuck it behind her ear but stopped himself. His hand hung there awkwardly between them until he let it slowly fall.

"It's okay to be nervous," he said. "I know lots of people who didn't go through with their weddings. Loads."

Marinette smiled at the lie, grateful he was trying in spite of everything, though she was still a little worried he was going to tell Adrien about this conversation, or that word would somehow get to her future in-laws. She wasn't sure which would have been worse, giving her in-laws ammunition or disappointing Adrien.

"No, I really did get lost," she said. "I didn't mean to get all the way over here." And to make it sound convincing, she added, "Do you know the way back?"

"I can walk you." Adrien stood up straight, his smile returning.

"Oh, you don't have to," Marinette said quickly. There might still be a chance for her to find a window and that breath of fresh air she'd been hoping for.

"I insist." Winston held out an arm for her, and like the idiot she was, she eagerly took it. His free hand settled over hers, and they began to walk.

Her heels swung from her other hand, and without their added inches, the difference in their height was ludicrous. But Winston didn't comment on it, just matched her pace without making her feel rushed.

Together, they left the small hallway and stepped back into the still deserted main hallway. Sunlight poured through the windows, reflecting off the gleaming floors and sparkling crystal chandeliers high above. Winston's hand on hers was comforting, and he was so sweet to help her, but now there was no chance for her to get away.

Feebly, she said, "I think I recognize this part now. You can get back."

"Oh, they won't miss me," Winston said. "I'll make sure you get back safe. Is there anything else you need?"

Marinette sighed. As kind as he was handsome, and she hoped he never removed his hand from hers. Why did he have to be so nice and gentle?

After several more turns, she really did start to recognize things. How had she wandered so far? Her family must have been worried by now.

Marinette didn't bother to escape from him again, and Winston didn't let go of her, even when they stopped in front of the bride's room with its white and blank, gleaming, bronze plaque.

"I can't wait to see you coming down the aisle in a few minutes," Winston said. He lowered his arm, and her hand slipped away from his sleeve. She felt the loss of his touch immediately. "I mean, if you still want to," he added quickly.

"I'll be fine," she squeaked. "Thanks."

"Okay," he said, waving goodbye without moving away. "Great. See you."

Yup. He was definitely the most adorable, sweet, and beautiful man she'd ever met. "Why couldn't I be marrying this guy?"

Winston took a step back. "What?"

Huh? She'd said that out loud? She'd said that out loud! 

Fumbling for the handle behind her, Marinette said a hasty goodbye and launched herself through the door and slammed it shut without looking at his expression. What was she supposed to do now?

"Girl, where have you been?"

In seconds, Alya, Sabine, and Tom were gathered around her. Marinette leaned her back against the cool door, wondering if Winston was still staring at the spot where she'd been standing.

"Are you all right?" her father asked.

"Just needed some fresh air," Marinette said, staring at their shoes. "Then I got lost. Have you seen this place?"

"Marinette," Sabine said, lifting her daughter's chin with one soft hand. "You can tell us the truth."

The tension in Marinette's body all came out in a rush. Her shoulders slumped, and she slid down the door two inches.

Tom brought over a chair, and Marinette tried to sit down, only to find that her dress was caught in the door. What else could go wrong today? Without peeking into the hallway, she opened the door and removed her train - to her relief, it didn't look like she'd ripped it - and then collapsed into the chair.

"It's okay to be nervous," Sabine said.

Marinette nodded, though that wasn't the entire problem anymore. She was supposed to be marrying a friend of "Winston's" in a few minutes, maybe his best friend or even his brother. He would be standing there, witnessing her marriage, knowing what she'd just said. How was she supposed to show her face out there now?

Her parents and Alya doted on her, trying to put her fears at ease, but it was only making everything worse. She couldn't ignore her anxiety while everyone was talking about it. They flitted around the small room, fetching her water, guiding her to sit down in front of the triple mirror vanity, offering to brush her hair out. "That always calmed you down when you were little," Sabine said.

Marinette nodded.

"If it makes you feel better," Tom said, "I'm sure he's just as nervous as you are. I was nervous, too."

"Everyone expects you to be a little anxious." Sabine picked up the bristle brush while Marinette avoided looking at herself in the mirror. "You're marrying someone without ever having met him. That's terrifying. But you're going to be okay."

Marinette nodded again, dumbly. They waited for her to say something, respond with her usual cheerful attitude, and when she didn't, Alya jumped in.

"Sabine, didn't you get married and move to France at the same time?"

All four of them knew the story. Marinette had grown up hearing it, had loved hearing her parents' own love story.

"I found out my soulmate's name two days after my twenty second birthday," she said. Marinette could almost mouth the words along with her mother, they were so familiar. "I couldn't believe he was so far away. I started teaching myself French almost immediately, but the first time we got on the phone to speak to each other, all I could say was hello!"

A tug on Marinette's scalp told her that Sabine had found a small knot. She set the brush down and started to pick at it with her fingers.

"I moved away from home to a strange country, and was learning a new language, and was nervous about meeting my soulmate, but as soon as I saw him, it didn't matter," Sabine said. "You're going to be fine. As soon as you see him, you'll love him, and everything will be okay."

"I know all that," Marinette said. "But I'm scared now!" Not to mention distracted by "Winston," and the crushing guilt that reminded her she shouldn't be.

"Well," her father cut in. "What do you want to do about it, Marinette? Do you feel like we should wait a little bit?"

"Yeah," Alya added. "We can tell them there's something wrong with your dress or whatever if you need a few more minutes."

"I'm sure Adrien would understand," Sabine said. "He seemed very kind when we talked to him."

A few more minutes sounded wonderful, a chance to collect herself, do delay the inevitable. Or a chance for her anxiety to get worse. She took a deep breath. "No, let's just get this over with."

"Very convincing." Alya picked her clutch up off the vanity and started fishing around inside it. "You sound so pumped. Let me just text Adrien." Alya pulled out her phone.

"No," Marinette said, covering the phone with one hand. Her fake nails clicked on the screen.

"Waiting's not going to make it easier. I don't need any more time to worry. It's like you said, when I see him, everything will be fine. So let's just so see him. I want to see him."

"All right." Alya dropped her phone onto the table and grabbed the eye shadow. "Come here, then."

Marinette sat as still as she could while Sabine finished her hair and Alya did her makeup and Tom hovered around, asking what he should do to make her feel more comfortable. When they didn't give him any ideas, he started telling funny stories from Marinette's baby days.

Marinette only half listened, making sure to smile when someone else laughed. Maybe Winston had asked "What?" because he hadn't heard what she'd said. She had said it quietly, after all. That was logical.

Eventually, Tom had to leave the room to check on how things were progressing. Marinette missed his voice and his stories. The silence was too easy for her anxious mind to fill.

If she could just make it a few more minutes, if she could just make it to the altar, then she'd fall in love with her soulmate at first sight and everything would be great. No more worrying. No more wondering.

The final piece of her outfit, her veil, was laid out neatly on the flower-print sofa, waiting for her. When Alya declared her face perfect and Sabine could find no hair out of place, Marinette strapped her heels back on and stood, knees shaking, and retrieved her veil. She seemed like another woman in the mirror as she watched herself put it on.

Marinette did want to meet Adrien. She did. A few days ago, she'd felt excited. Just his name was enough to put a smile on her face. Her parents had met him, and she'd devoured every detail of him they could give her. Elation had bubbled through her chest as she had designed her wedding dress. It had taken weeks to finish simply because she was having so much fun designing it that she hadn't wanted to stop. If she could remember what it had felt like then, maybe she could recreate the feelings now.

The door creaked as it opened, and Tom walked back in. "It's time," he said, extending his arm for her.

Marinette plastered a smile onto her trembling lips and leaned on his arm to compensate for the weakness in her knees. No one else needed to know about her struggle, least of all Adrien.

The walk down the hallway to the chapel didn't take as long as Marinette thought that it should have. The organ music was too loud, but still not loud enough to drown out the breathing and whispers of a room full of hundreds of people, everyone who was ever important to her, and more that she would get to know well in her lifetime as Adrien's wife.

The processional song began to play, and Marinette walked in, staring at the pink petals on the carpet in front of her. Pews creaked and fabric rustled as everyone stood for her. And she kept her face down.

Don't make eye contact with the groomsmen. You're getting married to Adrien, so don't look for adorable "Winston."

Marinette forced her face up, searching out the people she knew. For her bridesmaids and Alya, her mother in the front row. Her school friends throughout the year, aunts and uncles who had flown from all over the world. A few held tissues, some waved at her. They were all smiling.

Everyone was smiling except for her.

She should be looking at her new husband - her soulmate - for the first time. He was probably looking at her. Had he already fallen for her? Was he wondering why she wasn't looking at him?

That curiosity was nothing compared to how much she wanted to look for the man she'd met in the hallway. There was something seriously wrong about that. It went beyond the guilt that she felt. It was a strangeness in the situation that she didn't have time to think about.

The line of petals thinned and disappeared halfway to the altar, and the organ music swelled.

The temptation was too great. Marinette raised her eyes, looking at the groomsmen first, looking for the friend that shouldn't have liked as much as she did. Because she was marrying someone else, she reminded herself as she quickly scanned their faces. And because she had only known him for about two minutes. What was wrong with her?

Her gaze skimmed them all twice, three times, but Winston wasn't there. Her footsteps stuttered to a halt before taking a big step to match her father's long stride. The hand holding her bouquet started to sweat.

Could he not bear to watch her marrying someone else? No, that was ridiculous. He didn't feel the same way. He wasn't feeling torn like she was.

He had definitely been part of the wedding party. He'd said so. So who was he?

The carpet ended, and Marinette heels clicked on marble as realization clicked into place. He was part of the wedding party, but not one of the groomsmen, so that must have meant…

For the first time that day, her heart pounded from something other than anxiety.

Marinette held her head high and looked for him. And she found him. "Winston." It had been a ridiculous name anyway. Adrien suited him much better.

Adrien smiled broadly at her. That wonderful smile she first saw out in the hallway was now a hundred times brighter, focused solely on her. He had snuck out to see her, had so gently guided her back when she was lost, had made sure she was comfortable, and offered to call off the wedding.

No wonder she had liked him so much. Love at first sight, just like everyone said.

He reached out a hand for her as she took the last few steps to the altar. Marinette slid her fingers into his, and they fit perfectly.

"Hi, Winston," Marinette whispered as she nestled herself into his side. "Could the groom not get away again? Are you getting married for him too?"

"I said the groom was going to love you," he said. "And I was right."

The last notes of the organ faded away, and a hush settled over their friends and family. This was it. They stepped together up to the altar. The first step of their lives together.

***

Author's note: Merry Christmas! You're getting something completely un-Christmasy. Huge thank you to @ours-polaires, @khanofallorcs, @vivalasaturn, and @noirshitsuji for reading over my outline of this and making sure everything made sense!

[detectivehannibal]

Two Timed

__

Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham x Reader

Warnings: Language, Angst.

Requested by: @vampirevatican​

A/N (edit): I hear you guys’ plea for a part 2. I have another request to write, but it is on my radar!

Word Count: 2,598

“Don’t give him the satisfaction of a second chance.”

__

You had been suspicious for awhile. It was surely hard to ignore the tug in your chest that was telling you something was off. In the seven years you had been married to Hannibal Lecter, you had learned how to be a keen observer. You had learned to be a careful listener and a focused watcher. In a general sense, he had taught you to be extremely in touch with all of your senses. This was turning out to be your worst nightmare. 

For starters, he was later coming home from work. You initially shrugged this off as perhaps he was off doing his unspeakable errands. However, the situation became very clear when he came home with just the slightest bit of lipstick on his shirt collar. Something that a non-observant person would blatantly miss. After that, all the signs were like a stop sign in your face. The unfamiliar scent of perfume that lingered around him when he walked past you. The simple yet vague answers he would give when you asked him about his day. It all came together quickly and life as you knew it was crashing down.

You didn’t want to believe that he was cheating on you. Hannibal Lecter, the most refined and morally just man you had ever known, being unfaithful to his wife. It was shocking and quite ironic. You didn’t want to have to go snooping for answers. You had always respected Hannibal’s space and personal belongings and never touched anything without asking first. However, you were too upset one fateful evening to care at this point. You searched every part of his study searching for even the smallest hint as of to who this mystery woman was. 

That’s when you found the letter. 

It wasn’t easy to spot. It wasn’t exactly sitting in plain view. You had to rummage through stacks of papers and folders before you saw it. The letter had been written on archival paper, something a little more formal and had some weight to it as it rested in your hands. The seamless piece of paper was addressed to “My dearest Alana” in Hannibal’s unmistakable handwriting. 

Oh. 

Your heart sank into your shoes when you read the header. This had to be a mistake. Surely this wasn’t the Dr. Alana Bloom who had been over for dinner on multiple occasions. The woman who had been mentored by your husband when she was in school to be a psychiatrist. It made your stomach curl in the worst way. The very woman who was acting as your husband’s mistress had been under your nose the entire time. You had almost wished she had been a stranger to you. 

The fact that you were finding out due to a letter was a double smack in the face. When you were dating Hannibal, he often would write you letters of the same magnitude. They expressed his deepest care and feelings for you. It was his way of pouring his soul and heart out to you. Now it seemed that had meant absolutely nothing.

Hot tears wasted no time filling your eyes and streaming your cheeks. This was the most betrayal you had ever felt. You were overwhelmed with anger, sadness, disappointment, and hurt all at the same time. How could he do this to you? You never in a million years would you have seen this coming. He was so adamant about people who were disrespectful and had no regard for others. This was very out of character. 

You shoved the letter back where you found it and raced to your car. There was no way you could stay here. You needed to get away to think. You needed to find someone who would care enough to listen before you did something stupid. Will Graham was your first immediate thought. You had been friends with him before ever knowing Hannibal. As a matter of fact, you met Hannibal through Will. You knew Will would listen. He was always there for you no matter what...whether he cared to be or not. His home was about an hour away from you and Hannibal’s shared home. It was a bit of a drive, but you were desperate. You pondered how to handle the situation while you were in commute. 

Your immediate solution was to turn Hannibal in to the police. You knew he was the killer they had been looking for. It would be the ultimate revenge and the most badass way to leave your lasting mark. You could have Hannibal Lecter at your mercy. You had the power to end his reign of cannibalistic terror. Unfortunately this plan had its leaks and you realized something infuriating. Hannibal would always be one step ahead. More than likely, he’d find out that you knew of the affair just as you were reporting him to Jack Crawford. He would obviously know that giving him up would be your first response and he’d have ample amount of time to get away without a trace.

And then you’d end up dead at his hands.

Damn him. At the time being, you were unsure of what to do. You could never attempt to live life as it was before while also knowing of his secret affair. That would be too cruel to yourself. You were worth way more than that. You deserved better. 

After what felt like an eternity, you pulled into Will’s yard. You hoped he wouldn’t mind an unexpected visit. It wasn’t too terribly late into the night, only about 9:15 or so. You knocked on his front door gently, this was followed by a sound from the inside of multiple sets of fuzzy paws rushing towards the door, alerting their human that he had a visitor. You peeked through the window to see a group of wagging tails and bright canine eyes. Oh, to be one of Will’s stray pups. You would always be well fed, treated with care, and have a cozy place to live. What a life. 

Will approached the door finally, his brows slightly dipping upon seeing your reddened eyes and flushed skin. You managed to hold it together long enough to muster a shaky greeting once he opened the door;

“Hi, Will.” 

He was holding the doorknob with one hand, his other resting on the door frame; 

“Hello,” He said suspiciously; “Have you been crying?”

Your lip quivered at his questions and a fresh round of tears welled up;

“Can I come in?” You asked choking down a sob. 

A brief flash of panic crossed the unofficial FBI agent’s face. He didn’t do well with a crying woman. He stepped aside to allow you to enter his home. You were happily welcomed by his dogs, Winston even sitting by your feet to request an ear rub. You squatted in front of him and stroked his soft, honey colored fur. He licked your salty tears from your cheeks, a sad laugh coming from your chest. 

Will closed the door behind him and frantically tried to see if he could figure out what was wrong without having to ask and further upset you. He noted that you weren’t wearing your wedding ring. You never left the house without it, so he knew it had something to do with Hannibal. Once you rose back from the floor and turned to him, he spoke;

“Did Hannibal do something?” He asked as gently as possible. 

He hated seeing you upset. He didn’t want to make it worse. You nodded in response, the flood of emotions washing over you again. The reality of the situation was really beginning to set in. 

“Yeah. He...He’s cheating on me,” You said with a cracking voice. You went on at the sight of Will’s face going white; “I found a love letter in his study.”

His eyes widened as he took a moment to process what you were saying. Who would ever want to be unfaithful to you? You were perfect in every way. 

“Are you sure it wasn’t for you? Perhaps he hadn’t addressed it yet?” He offered a simple solution. 

If only that simplicity was the truth. You fell onto his sofa and shook your head;

“It was addressed to Alana.” You stated.

Now that made his blood turn cold. This couldn’t be happening.

“Alana Bloom? What makes you so sure it’s her?” He asked in disbelief, sitting next to you

“Because she’s the only Alana that Hannibal and I both know, Will. She’s the only logical person. They go way back.” You said feeling defeated. 

Will stressfully ran a hand through his hair. As a third party this was a lot to take in. He could only imagine how you were feeling. Just like you, he never would’ve expected this from either of them. 

“[Y/N], I’m sorry.” He apologized.

He couldn’t help but feel a little responsible. He was the one who had introduced you two after all. He felt that this could’ve been avoided.

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault,” You said honestly; “I’m sorry for coming over here and making this your problem too. I didn’t know where else to go.” 

“Your problems can always be mine. I guarantee that. You can always come here.” He comforted.

You gave the best smile you could. Will had really always been there for you. If he was being honest, he wanted to kiss you in that moment. He just wanted you to understand how much he cared about you. He never wanted you to doubt it. But he didn’t kiss you. He would never take advantage of your emotions like that. After all, you were still a married woman. He didn’t want to force you to stoop to Hannibal’s level. Instead, he just put a hand over yours and rubbed his thumb across the back of your hand. 

On the subject of Hannibal, your phone had buzzed in your bag several times over the last several minutes. You knew it was Hannibal wondering where you were. You also knew he would quickly figure out that you were at Will’s home considering that he’s the only person you’d ever go see this late at night. It wouldn’t be long before Hannibal would be at his front door looking for you.

“What am I supposed to do? I can’t live with him knowing he’s got someone on the side.” You admitted.

“You especially shouldn’t live with him now. You can’t stay married.” He advised.

You knew this. You had a strict rule that always applied to your previous relationships. There was no excuse for cheating. That would be a dealbreaker every time. Divorce was common, but you never thought you’d end up a divorced woman. 

“I know. I mean what do I say to him?” You asked.

Will tucked his head to the side. It was a loaded question for sure. He wasn’t the relationship expert. He hadn’t had many serious relationships in his life. 

“Tell him how you feel. Make sure he understands how much he’s hurt you. Don’t hold back just because you love him,” He replied; “Don’t give him the satisfaction of a second chance.”

You were listening against your better judgement. You wanted so badly for this to just be a horrible dream. You wanted to wake up and this not be real. Silence fell over the both of you. You were out of things to say. You started sobbing again, collapsing into Will’s arms. He held you as you cries filled his home and caused his dogs to whine in sympathy. Your pity party was interrupted by a knock on the door a few minutes later. 

The man of the hour had arrived. 

Part of you wanted to run away and never see him again, but then you’d never get to tell him how you felt. And also he’d find you in record time. Will shot you a look before getting up to answer the door. Hannibal was standing there, still in his work suit and his demeanor was as cool as ever. 

“Hello, Will. Is [Y/N] here? She doesn’t seem to be at home,” He stated. 

“Yeah,” Will responded flatly; “She’s here. You’ve got some nerve showing up here, Dr. Lecter.”

Will was upset. His trusted psychiatrist had hurt his best friend by using his other friend. He had a right to be angry. Hannibal looked over Will’s shoulder to find you on the couch. He pushed past Will and into the room;

“Darling, I really wish you had informed me that you were going to be here.” He said disregarding Will’s previous sentence. 

You stood from the couch. You were furious, yet calm. You stood in front of your husband, looking into his dark eyes with a numb expression. This was your chance. 

“I know, Hannibal. I know about you and Alana.” You confessed.

While his face didn’t show any signs of shock, his heart skipped a beat. He obviously had never planned on you finding out, so this wasn’t what he expected. Will was watching, arms crossed as he observed. 

“How did you find out?” Hannibal asked nonchalantly.

If he had to guess, he would’ve suspected that maybe Alana came clean to Will who conveyed the truth. That was the first time Hannibal would’ve been wrong about anything. 

“That doesn’t matter. What matters is that I know about it. And I want you to know how much you’ve hurt me because of it.” You said. 

You weren’t crying anymore. You were past that point. 

“When I said ‘I do’ on our wedding day, I meant it. Every word of my vows was the truth. I was ecstatic to spend my life with you. I was beyond thrilled to have forever to spend with someone I loved. I just wish I had known it didn’t go both ways,” You spoke softly; “If our marriage wasn’t what you signed up for, then I suppose I owe you an apology. But if it was everything you expected and it still wasn’t enough...then I don’t know what to tell you. I gave you...I gave us everything I had. My whole heart and soul. I wanted to be sure we were each other’s forever. But I see I didn’t do as well as I could have.”

Hannibal was speechless. There wasn’t anything he could say. He was ashamed. Ashamed of getting caught and ashamed for hurting an innocent person. You reached into your pocket and pulled out your wedding ring. You silently took his hand and placed it in his palm. It was cliche, but it was powerful. You were done. 

“I’ll be moved out by tomorrow. Don’t try calling me. Don’t come looking for me. I’m leaving. I hope you can live with what you’ve done,” You said brushing past him. 

You looked at Will as you went to exit his home. He knew you’d call him in a few days after you had time to yourself. You would never leave him behind. You stopped at the door, leaving Hannibal with one final sentence;

“Goodbye, Hannibal.” 

You walked down the front porch steps and into your car. You didn’t know where you were going to go, but you had to get away somewhere. You drove away in silence, letting the road take you wherever it wanted. You couldn’t help but reflect on the good times you had with Hannibal. It would be inhuman not to. At the end of the day, even if it didn’t work out, Hannibal was your love story. You would never be able to change that.

No matter how hard you tried.

[arcturusreads]

Save A Dance - Merhayes

This one's based off an ao3 promp where Meredith and Cormac have a moment and Maggie and Winston's wedding

Weddings had always stirred up emotions in Cormac. It didn’t matter whose it was or where it was. The church weddings for the multiple aunts, uncles and cousins that he had attended as he had grown up in Ireland, the extravagant American weddings he had been invited to when he had moved to the country, his own quaint wedding to Abigail which had been anything but quiet. They’d all had memories and feeling attached to them that meant a lot to him.

The first wedding Cormac had been to was when he was seven months old and acting as a ring bearer. His mother still had a photo of that moment on the mantelpiece back at home, much to his embarrassment. She’d always said he was a fussy baby but that day he behaved perfectly. Not a wail to be heard from his strong lungs.

The first wedding Cormac remembered, however, was when he had been a pageboy for his mother’s best friend’s daughter. While the other young boys complained about being stuck in stuffy shirts and dress shoes and how boring the ceremony was, Cormac was entranced by the whole event. He thought it was amazing that two people wanted to tell everyone that they loved each other so much. The thought of yelling about how much he loved his Ma made him embarrassed so they had to love each other a lot to be willing to do all of this.

As Cormac grew up and attended more and more weddings, he began to truly understand the commitment these two people were making to each other. How there wasn’t just an immense amount of love present, but also respect and trust. The magic of a wedding day had not been lost on him as he transitioned into adulthood and when he had finally married Abigail, he had felt as though he was on cloud nine. It wasn’t just the wedding day; it was the thought of the life that they were going to share. A time that was cut short far too soon and far too cruelly.

Weddings no longer just stirred emotions in him now, it was more like a hurricane. When the first invitation had dropped through the letterbox, Cormac was certain that he wasn’t going to go. He couldn’t bear the thought of it but eventually, after a call home to his Ma, he managed to get into his suit and go. It hadn’t been as bad as he thought it was going to be, but the day had left Cormac with an ache in his chest that demanded to be felt.

Cormac had known, by the time he had been invited to Maggie and Winston’s wedding, that days like that were always going to be tinged with sadness but that didn’t take away from the beauty of them. Nowadays, Cormac knew how to get through the wedding and only giving into the feeling of grief when he got home. He wondered if that feeling would ever completely go. The feeling of longing, the anger and upset of being robbed of growing old with Abigail. Sometimes, he wasn’t always sure he those feelings to go.

This wedding felt different to the other he’d been to though. Maybe it was the fact that he knew that there was someone else sat in the congregation who had been through the same things that he had, who was battling with those same emotions. Maybe it was the fact that it was also that same person that he had grown so close to. That he had found someone that sparked feelings in him that almost felt foreign, it had felt like an age since he had felt that way.

Once the ceremony was over Cormac went over to congratulate the happy couple and thank them for inviting him. He had formed a solid friendship with Winston over the past few months and had gotten the chance to know Maggie a lot better both through Winston and Meredith. As he stepped away, letting the other guests pass on their well wishes, Cormac scanned around the beach. He saw Meredith’s kids with Link but no sign of her. Eventually, he found her chatting with Richard. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he slowly walked over, hoping that the two would have finished talking by the time he got there.

“Hayes!” Richard had seen him walking and waved him over.

His ears tinged red; Cormac had been hoping he could just make it seem like he’d bumped into Meredith rather than coming over to talk to her. You can’t always get what you want though. Still, he quickened his pace to join the pair.

“Richard, Grey, how are you both? You did a great job up there,” he complimented Dr Webber who gave him a grin in return.

“Thank you, Cormac, it was one of the greatest honours of my life.”

Richard looked between Cormac and Meredith and knew neither were fully paying attention to him. Both were staring at each other with smiles on their faces. He wasn’t offended though; it was clear as day that something was going on between them. Even if they didn’t want to admit it themselves.

“I’m gonna leave you, two kids, alone,” there was a cheeky grin on his face as he slowly back away.

Meredith’s eyes snapped away from Cormac quickly and looked over at Richard in alarm. “What? No, you don’t need to do that.”

Chuckling, Richard shook his head at the protests. “I’m going to go and find Catherine before she causes some kind of trouble, you two enjoy.” He winked at them both and walked away whistling.

Meredith looked at him in disbelief before turning back to Cormac, “I’m really sorry about him.”

Cormac waved a hand in the air, “Don’t worry about it, I’ve gotten used to the fact that everyone in that hospital likes to get involved in people’s personal lives.”

Barking out a laugh, Meredith couldn’t help but agree. “Yeah, we just can’t help it.”

“Want to go for a walk?” He suggested, trying to make it sound casual but really he was praying she would say yes. Cormac knew that as the wedding turned into the reception Meredith was going to be busy.

“Sure that’s a good idea? I’m pretty sure it’ll set tongues wagging.”

Cormac rolled his eyes, “I’m not sure they ever stopped but if you want to say no, Grey…” He trailed off in a teasing tone.

Meredith began to walk away from the wedding part leaving Cormac standing there. After a few steps, she turned around. “Are you coming, or what?”

Grinning and shaking his head, Cormac caught up with her. That woman was something else completely. They walked in silence for a few moments, enjoying each other’s company as the babble of the guests behind them quietened the further away they got.

“You look beautiful today, Grey.” Cormac didn’t care to admit how long it had taken him to build the courage to say that.

“Oh, thanks,” Meredith hadn’t expected a compliment from him.

Up and until now, their relationship had mainly been built on a lot of teasing but the sincerity in his voice told her that he wasn’t joking around here.

“You, uh, don’t look too bad yourself.” What Meredith had really wanted to say was that he looked great in a suit, like amazingly good but she wasn’t going to tell him that.

“Is that all I get, Grey? I tell you that you look beautiful and all I get is that I don’t look too bad?” He bumped her with his shoulder.

“Oh, I don’t think your ego needs inflating. I’m sure some of the nurses here would love to compliment you.”

“Aye maybe, but they aren’t the ones I want to compliment me, Grey.”

Meredith stopped in her tracks and stared at him with curiosity.

“I meant what I said, Meredith, you look absolutely stunning today.” Cormac gently cupped Meredith face, his thumb stroking her cheek. He wasn’t quite sure where all this courage had come from but decided not to question it.

Even though she was slightly surprised at how forward Cormac was being, she couldn’t help but lean into his touch. She savoured in the warmth that it brought, the sparks that his touch ignited.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see some of the staff beginning to look their way. He quickly removed his hand from her face and instead laced his fingers with hers and continued walking. Meredith frowned when he had pulled away but was immediately comforted the moment, he took her hand.

“Weddings are still a difficult one for me. Not as bad as before but they aren’t the same. You’ve made it easier for me today though.”

“Me?” Meredith was slightly confused. “I haven’t done anything.”

“You made me realise that I can still have a future. That moving on from Abigail doesn’t mean that I love her any less or that I’ve forgotten her.”

Meredith wasn’t 100% sure what Cormac was getting at her, “Cormac, wha-“ she tried to get him to clarify but he quickly cut her off.

“Save a dance for me later, would you?” There was a glint in his eyes as he asked. He knew exactly what he was doing and exactly what Meredith was going to ask but he wasn’t going to give her an answer just yet.

“Momma!” They both turned around to see Ellis five metres away, grinning and waving her hands in the air.

“You should probably go, Grey.”

Meredith looked between Ellis and Cormac before finally nodding, “Uh, yeah, see you later.” She began to walk away when Cormac called out to get again. Turning around, the breeze making her dress twirl around her legs and the sunlight making her hair glow like a halo around her. Cormac’s voice almost got stuck in his throat seeing her like that.

“And Grey? Make sure it’s a slow dance.”

Slightly flustered, a blush spreading on her cheeks, Meredith quickly nodded before turned around and walking away as fast as she could from Cormac. He couldn’t help but chuckle before thinking how lucky he was to have a dance with the most gorgeous woman here.

[lahelasaveiro]

We’ll Be Fine

Pairing: Tatum Mendoza x f!MC 

Word count: 1.2k 

Summary: Basically after Tatum said goodbye to MC and debriefed Demarco. 

A/N: Okay, so bear with me. I haven’t wrote a fanfic in YEARS. But I am in my feels as I finished watching The Witcher and PB basically confirmed Foreign Affairs as a standalone and I am left with so many questions. So I opened my laptop and started writing. I’m sorry if it’s bad, but I needed to get it off my chest lmao. If there are any (grammatical) mistakes, I’m sorry! English is not my first language. :|

______________________________________________________________

‘’I don’t want you to lose her out of your sight for one second, do you understand, Demarco?’’ The bodyguard came out of trance when his boss talked to him directly. The news of Tatum getting his desired promotion was good news for him but bad news for the team. Demarco cleared his throat once and then once again. ‘’Yeah of course, boss. I will never let an attack happen again, you have my word’’ Tatum seemed a little bit more relieved at that statement and yet, Demarco couldn’t shake the feeling that his boss wasn’t as happy as he should’ve been a month ago with a promotion this big. Back then his transfer request was all he could ever talk about. He remembered him saying how much he wanted to go back to the army. How he felt that his hard work in the force seemed to be in vain. Now he had puffy eyes and a sadness that seemed to match in them. He knew the First Daughter and Tatum used to be best friends. Hell, they even grew up together. Former bodyguards told jokingly the two were inseparable and a pain to guard. It would not be impossible for the both of them to develop feelings. Demarco thought of his husband back in Rutherland and how he hated to leave him behind. What if Tatum felt exactly like that?

‘’Boss, I apologize if I am out of line saying this, but for someone who gets the promotion of a lifetime you seem to be dreading it’’

Tatum clenched his jaw tightly and awkwardly put his hands forcefully in his pocket.

‘’I will celebrate my transfer whenever the time is right. I just want you to promise me to keep her safe now, Winston told me my replacement will arrive tomorrow but I will not trust them to keep her protected. I trust you, do you copy?’’

Tatum’s voice became even more stern. Demarco nodded. ‘’You know I will, boss. I also hope you know that everything you say, I will treat with the utmost discretion.’’ His boss acknowledged that in silence. Yet the sadness didn’t seem to be fade. In fact, it became more visible.

They stood in silence for a while until to Demarco’s surprise Tatum spoke. ‘’A month ago, this promotion was all I could hoped for. But now… Now all I can think of is how I’m leaving her again for the same reason as five years ago. I don’t want us to grow apart again to only see her on the news and magazines with that fake smile on her face’’ A small tear escaped the corner of his eye but Tatum wiped it away as quick as he could ‘’So why did you accept it? You’re not at all excited to leave and you know we love our job with you as our boss’’ Demarco felt nothing but sympathy for the man in front of him. He never saw him so.. devasted. ‘’She told me to. I thought that if she would tell me to stay I would refuse the promotion because she would need me. It is foolish to think that someone like her would need someone like me, huh?’’ For the first time since the debrief, Tatum looked Demarco in the eye and all he saw was the storm raging inside Tatum. ‘’Someone like her would be happy with someone like you though, boss. You’re more than just her bodyguard’’ Tatum scoffed. ‘’No, Demarco. When she was on the fake date with Alexei and having fun, that was when it hit me. That’s how her love life should look like. With someone that Rutherland and everyone that means a damn would approve. I am a nobody while she is everything. I wouldn’t be good enough for her like Alexei would be. Or even Blaine Hayes.’’ Demarco laughed joyless. ‘’Trust me, boss. No one in Ardona can compare to you.’’ For the first time ever since Tatum came into the room he smiled, albeit a sad one. ‘’Thank you, Demarco. It has been a pleasure to work with you, I will never forget your jokes and banter’’ Demarco was surprised when Tatum gave him a hug and he didn’t know who could use the hug more, but judging by the quiet sniffles it was his now former boss. ‘’Don’t you worry, Tatum. I will give my life for her if I need to’’ Tatum nodded as he got himself out of the hug. ‘’I hope it won’t come to that. And a word of advice; as much as she insists that all the protocols are bullshit, stick with them. If her mom upsets her, and that will happen, take a walk with her. Listen to her. If she misses her dad, let her vent. And if someone hurts her mentally-‘’ ‘’They will never find the body’’ Demarco joked. ‘’Excellent’’ A real smile came across Tatums face, but it faded as soon as it appeared. He picked up his duffle bag and walked towards the door and just before he reached the door, he turned around and looked around the room as if he saw it for the first time. ‘’This must have been a blessing in disguise. The last few weeks must have been one of the best in my career’’ Demarco nodded and gave Tatum a final wave as he walked to the car that have been waiting for him. He walked to the couch and stared into nothingness until Presley gave him a heads up that his shift was about to start.

It felt weird walking to the suite knowing that he was no longer under Tatum’s orders. Murphy gave him a nod. ‘’Quiet night, Murph?’’ The silent bodyguard gave him once again a sign of confirment with his head. ‘’Alright. I’m gonna go inside to see how my favourite First Daughter is doing. After that, I will have to tell you the story about when my husband started almost started a riot during a football game’’ He walked into the suite and knocked on the door he was familiar with.

He opened the door after her soft voice invited him in. The room was only brightened by the table lamp on her desk. Her pet lynx was cuddled in her arms as she was laying in her bed, staring to nothing in particular. The expression on her face matched Tatum’s perfectly. He wanted to tell her how both of them were idiots and that they should confess their feelings to each other. He wanted to yell that she should go after Tatum but he didn’t want to make her feel even worse than she already felt. ‘’I just want you to know that Presley has finished her shift and I will be outside’’ Tears were flowing onto her pillow but she didn’t make any movement to hide them. In fact, she didn’t move at all. ‘’Okay, miss. If you need me, I am just outside’’ With a heavy heart he walked out of the door and closed it. When he got outside, he found Murphy eagerly waiting for him to start this story about his husband. ‘’Okay, Murph. It went like this-‘’

[imagine-overwatch-heroes]

Thistles and Weeds

Pairing: McCree x Reader (She/Her) Rating: Teen and up Audiences Word Count: 3194 Summary:  Soldier 76 pulls you off an upcoming mission and you stay in Gibraltar - just like the infamous Jesse McCree. Supposedly you can't stand the cowboy, but there's more to it than that.

Bored, you balanced the pen on your hand, barely listening as the commander explained the situation and assigned the roles for the upcoming mission. The briefing was more boring than usual and if Soldier:76 wasn't such a strict commander you would have put your boots on the table and leaned back. But woe betide the one who messed with the mysterious commander, then there was usually house arrest and so much punishment work that you were busy for the next three weeks. "Am I boring you?" Everyone suddenly stared at you, and you looked up from your playfulness with the pencil, scrutinized the annoyed faces around you, and froze at the impatient, angry aura of Soldier:76. "Not, Sir!" you replied and looked forward to the screen. The tactical advance for the mission was recorded there and you tried to make sense of it, but without much success. Which of those little arrows were you again? "All right, you're out," growled Soldier:76 and made a sweeping hand movement. "I'll take Tracer instead." "What?!" you shouted angrily and jumped up from your chair. "I have been looking forward to this action for weeks! I've been stuck in this stuffy base for ages-" "Silence!!", thundered your Commander and you immediately fell silent, but gnashed your teeth furiously. "If you feel like the briefing is unworthy of you, then you will not come. Dismissed." You stared at him for a moment, opened your mouth in protest - but denied yourself the biting answers. He was your superior, your commander, and an objection would be disrespectful and have serious consequences. "Yes, Sir." you rumbled and turned around and disappeared from the conference room under the gaze of the other agents. Anger bubbled in your stomach as you stepped to the elevator. You banged your fist violently on the button and waited for the doors to open. You just did a fantastic job, there was an interesting mission and you were stuck here in Gibraltar! To make matters worse, the base was virtually deserted, as almost all of the other agents were in the field. Only Tracer, Mercy, Hanzo and McCree were still there and now Tracer would take part in this mission instead of you. It made your blood boil. The elevator door opened and you stared into a familiar face, even if it wasn't necessarily your best friend. "Hanzo, hello." you greeted the archer with a friendly nod, but he just raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms as you entered the elevator. "You are angry." he remarked softly and you rolled your eyes next to him. Why were the Shimada brothers so good at reading people?   "76 took me off the mission." you murmured softly and Hanzo snorted an amused snort. He knew about your temperament and your disinterest in the conferences and briefings. It wasn't the first time you had messed up a mission before it even started. "So you'll be alone with McCree all week." he said with a hint of gloating in his voice. "I hope that the base is still standing when I get back." "Wait, what?", you dug in, suddenly wide awake at his words. "You're leaving too?!" He nodded. "Genji asked for some help with the operation in Brazil." he replied. "I have accepted." "But- You can't leave me alone with this idiot cowboy!" you begged immediately, tugging at his sleeve. "Hanzo, please! This badly aiming poncho idiot is-" "Is what, exactly?" The door to the elevator had opened and you saw the hat, the poncho and the crooked grin. Your voice must have been too loud, because Jesse McCree had overheard everything. He looked at you, seemed to want you to finish the sentence. You pulled the corners of your mouth down and moaned in annoyance, while Hanzo could hardly resist a quiet laugh. Your tiffs with McCree were all too familiar to everyone in the base, you were really like cat and mouse. He loved to tease and your huge ego collided with his almost daily. Several times it had ended in fisticuffs, and in the end, you always ended up sitting with Mercy in pairs, getting patched up and scolded by her loud and clear. At times it had become so bad that Soldier:76 could no longer assign you to a mission together. Sure, it was unprofessional - but Jesse McCree was the biggest pain on the planet! "Oh, he's a really lousy shot, and even with a plastic pistol I'd have him on the mat in less than two minutes." you finally finished your sentence, and McCree snorted mockingly, one hand on his Peacekeeper. "Try it." he replied, and Hanzo immediately slid between the two of you, one hand on your shoulder and one on McCree's chest. "Enough." he said emphatically, giving the cowboy a challenging look. "Jesse, I thought we were going to train. But if you'd rather argue with her--" "You'd better teach that cowboy something else," you hissed and looked at the dirty poncho disparagingly. "Or he'll hurt himself on his next ride!" "Is that the best you can do?" he growled in return and tapped his hat. "Real weak - even for you, sweetheart." You immediately wanted to reply to the 'sweetheart', but Hanzo already pushed Jesse to the shooting range and you had no choice but to give him the middle finger and go to your quarters with an angry growl stuck in your throat.

"A real tomboy, huh?", Jesse asked as he looked at you and Hanzo turned his eyes on his friend. "If you like her so much, why do you wind her up like that all the time?" the archer asked, entering the code to the shooting range on the control panel of the door. Jesse, on the other hand, was still staring down the hall, almost as if he hoped you'd come back and throw more insults at his head. "You know very well she's very hot-headed." "Yup, she really is," the cowboy agreed and followed Hanzo to the training area, which was located under the base and was used much more often by Hanzo than by Jesse McCree. "And a real beauty, too." Hanzo gave him a quick glance out of the corner of his eye and put on his gloves, running his fingers over the string of his bow. "You should be nicer to her," he said softly, tensing the bowstring a few times, pulling his arm back and staying in that position to warm up his muscles. "She has no idea that the badly aiming poncho idiot gets a watery mouth when he thinks of her." "Hah, you got me there!" Jesse confessed and pulled his revolver out of the holster, took a quick look inside and nodded contentedly. "She's a real eye-catcher, that girl." Hanzo didn't answer, but instead pulled an arrow out of his quiver and tensed the string, held his breath - and hit the mark. The easy-to-repair training robots were not real enemies, but they were enough to warm up. Hanzo took another arrow and hit the next head shot perfectly, as well as the third and fourth. Jesse watched the whole thing silently, took a puff from his cigar every now and then, and seemed to be a little lost in thought. "The mission scheduled for the day after tomorrow," Hanzo suddenly said, looking at his friend with a mischievous smile. "Soldier:76 has grounded her." "No way!" it fell from McCree's lips and he stared at the archer in amazement. So would you stay here at the base? While the otherwise eternally bouncing tracers and D.Va were also in the field? "I guess she was messing with the commander again," Hanzo continued, watching as Jesse straightened his hat and threw the poncho over his shoulder, holding the revolver in place. "The day just keeps getting better and better..." the cowboy murmured, and he took aim, held his breath for a split second - and fired. Two, three, four and five robots disintegrated into a pile of scrap metal, while Jesse gloated over the coming days. Oh, this would be such fun!

Two days later, you were sitting in the evening sun of Gibraltar in a bad mood, trying not to get too upset about the mosquitoes and the stuffy weather. The base was actually emptier than ever before and you tried with all means not to let your anger get the upper hand. Instead of sitting around here, you could be on your way to Italy right now - but no, you had to be stuck in that dusty sea of cliffs and caustic encounters with the cowboy. McCree was even more annoying than usual, now that Hanzo had left the base as well and apparently he was bored. The fitting of his new prosthetic arm kept him here with you, otherwise he would probably have flown to Italy instead of Tracer with Soldier:76, Winston, Reinhardt and some other agents. "Hey, beautiful." Speak of the devil. You heard the deep, smoky voice and the metallic clang of spurs behind you, and yet you didn't even bother to look up. "What do you want?" you asked coolly, but Jesse didn't let your dismissive manner get in the way, stopped beside you and took a deep puff of his cigar to blow the smoke into the evening sun. "Hanzo is not here" he replied. "I could use a substitute partner for practice." "Usually they have to drag you to the shooting range with force." "Come on, sweetheart, don't leave me hanging." he tried again and your stomach lurched once more at the nicknames he gave you. "Sweetheart", "Beauty" and "Love". This cursed, tempting cowboy would drive you out of your mind again! You'd love to sink your fingers into that brown hair and have him above you while he whispered naughty things in your ear in a dark voice... "Get lost," you growled instead and crossed your arms in front of your chest. You would never give in to temptation, especially not this man! He looked at every woman with growing enthusiasm, whistling appreciatively when she had a nice rack, and that pissed you off for a long time. If he was looking for a bed bunny after all, you were not to be had for that! "Do I have to beg on my knees before you?" Finally you looked up to him and under the shadow of the brim of your hat you saw two brown eyes looking at you with a provocative look. As theatrically as possible you groaned and held out your hand to him, which he immediately took and pulled you up from the ground. "Half an hour." you agreed. "Because I can't bear you any longer!"

"Welcome." Athena greeted both of you at the shooting range and on one of the monitors your statistics from last time appeared. "The usual setup, Agent?" "No, Athena, thank you," you replied to the AI, looking at your training partner. "Standard, please." "Of course." the pleasant voice of the program was heard over the training area. Life came into the little robots and they began to roam around, ignoring you. "A special setup, huh?" McCree asked teasingly, and you waved aside, not wanting to tell him that you were planning on doing target practice at every opportunity. "Let's see what you can do," you said, leaning against the wall behind you. You didn't mean to start, no. If the cowboy wanted to practice, then he should start! "Hold this." To your great amazement you got the red poncho pressed into your arms and you looked at McCree, who in his tight black shirt pulled the gun out of the holster. On such hot days he didn't wear his bulletproof breastplate and the black shirt emphasized his muscular stature, letting you swallow briefly against your dry mouth. Damn sexy cowboy! "You don't have to undress right away," you hissed angrily and although you wanted to sound as annoyed as possible, your voice was much higher than usual. A quick sideways glance from brown eyes silenced you and you watched his movements closely. He lifted his Peacekeeper up and you saw him narrow his eyes for a moment, finally emptying all six chambers in one seemingly single, flowing movement. Six robots collapsed, McCree tilted his head and made his neck crack slightly. You had seen his extraordinary ability Deadeye several times before and yet, it impressed you every time. You could call him a bad shooter as often as you wanted, Jesse McCree always hit his target. The drinking, smoking cowboy with the silly hat and spurs on his boots was an impressive man whether you liked it or not. But you certainly wouldn't rub that fact in his face! "Your turn, beautiful." He threw his revolver at you and surprised you stumbled forward, the poncho in your arms and with noisiness you caught his gun. He nodded invitingly to the new group of robots that were just making their way in through one of the flaps to the workshop. "It's way too heavy for me!" you growled and threw his poncho at McCree in return, and he put it aside, but shook his head at your statement. "Nonsense." he replied, and just as you were putting new bullets into the chambers, he stepped behind you and looked over your shoulder. The smell of tobacco and the cowboy himself beguiled you for a fraction of a second and you took a step forward to escape from his immediate vicinity. "I'll show you." Shocked, you flinched as you felt a cold hand on your left shoulder and his real, warm hand gripped your wrist to lift the revolver. "You know I don't work with these bulky, heavy weapons," you muttered, concentrating all your efforts not to blush and keeping your pulse under control. He was much too close to you, you could feel his body heat and feel his breath on the sensitive skin of your neck. "Doesn't mean you can't handle it, huh?" you heard the smoky voice in your ear and his upper body pressed against your back. He lifted your right arm a little, corrected the position of your shoulder a little, and finally leaned completely against you to secure your stance from the recoil. "Aim well over the rear sight, you have no sight here." "I know...!", you hissed irritably and tried to concentrate on your target, but it was quite difficult to aim when hard muscles were pressing against your back. "You're way too tense, why don't you relax your shoulders?" "Shut up!" You pulled the trigger and wow! - this fucking heavy gun had a tremendous recoil! Your second shot even missed the target and a deep growl in your chest expressed your frustration about it. You rarely missed, but Peacekeeper was far too heavy for your untrained hands. Your weapons were all riffles like Soldier's:76, there was not such a powerful recoil as McCree's choice of weapon. A third shot was fired and you were glad that his right hand stabilized your shoulder. Distracting or not, his upper body caught you and you didn't have to take an evasive step back. "It's fun, isn't it?" you heard him ask and you almost looked up at him with an approving smile, but just in time you made the smile disappear and shrugged your shoulders. Stay cool. "I have to admit, it's quite entertaining," you replied bored in a playful way, but he didn't buy it. McCree leaned down a little over your shoulder and the tips of his hair tickled your cheek. He was too close, it was way too close! "Jesse!," you growled and turned from his grip instantly. "Jesse?," he asked immediately, and the rough, dark laugh sent a pleasant goose bump down your neck. "You've never called me that before, dear." "Yes, I- Ah...", you tried to find words and talk your way out, because the sexy cowboy was unfortunately right: You had never called him by his first name before, it just sounded too familiar and not hostile enough for your everyday dances. "Don't crowd me." "What, you don't mind a little help with the shooting?" Again he came a step closer and you looked at him suspiciously, pressed the revolver into his hands and turned your head away, trying to rebuff him as hard as possible. "Or was it for any other reason?" Jesse McCree was a charmer with a silver tongue, he always knew exactly what to say to either freak you out or leave you speechless. You were a seasoned Overwatch agent, a tough woman who could get her way - but when the cowboy got that close to you, your knees went soft like butter. "Jesse McCree-!" you started a little rant. You took a step towards him and nudged his chest in anger, while he looked at you with just two amused sparkling eyes. "Are you suggesting that I'm really attracted to a complete idiot like you?" He silenced you by leaning the last piece towards you, bending down and his right hand grabbing your neck. He kissed you, pulled you to him and after the first second of the shock you put your hands against his chest to push him away from you. "Jesse-!," you shouted outraged, but he shook his head and nipped your protest in the bud with another kiss. That damned, tempting cowboy actually dared to kiss you just like that - and then he was so damn good at it, it was enough to drive you crazy! The stubble of his beard scratched slightly at your skin and you tasted the cold smoke of his cigars, but that hardly bothered you, because even if you deliberately denied it: you wanted Jesse McCree to kiss you. You wanted to feel his hand on your neck, how he pulled you a little closer to his upper body and that the kiss became more and more erratic and unstable with every second. It wasn't until a faint gasp came over your lips that you realized what it all meant and you leaned back and escaped his lips. "Sweet as honey..." he growled softly and in return he received a light slap on the shoulder from you. "What, it's true!" "Idiot." you muttered and rolled your eyes. He snorted, pressed a kiss on the corner of your mouth and grabbed your waist with his left arm to pull you a little closer. You let it happen, and yet your thoughts turned over; What was there between you? What was the reason why he kept getting on your nerves so much? "May I be your idiot then?" he asked, and he leaned down, kissed your neck, and his free hand played with a strand of your hair. Good question, did you agree inside. Was that it then? Was he your not so badly aiming, poncho-wearing idiot cowboy? "Let's see how long I can stand you," you muttered with wildly pounding hearts and your stomach made a backward somersault at the thought that this show-off man seemed to like you very much.

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X10

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I loved this episode! It was so so good! I loved seeing Mark and Lexie on the beach encouraging Meredith to return. I knew Lexie was going to be back based on last week’s promo, but I literally screamed out loud twice when Mark appeared on screen! I was shocked! I like what Mark and Lexie said to Meredith about the sand not being real and that the beach was in Meredith’s head and was her happy place and that it wasn’t real. She was in control even if she didn’t feel like it. Seeing her lost loved ones comforts her in her time of need. When living people she loves come to talk to her she sees them because it’s comforting.

I have a theory about who we see and why. Since this episode establishes that the beach is in Meredith’s head and she can go back if she wants to I think DeLuca appearing on the beach and them getting closer and her watching him reunite with his mother was her brain’s interpretation of people coming into her room and telling her that DeLuca had been injured and needed surgery and that he was stable and then telling her that he wasn't and had died from his injuries.

She needed closure on a tumultuous relationship so her COVID wrecked brain gave it to her in the form of a peaceful COVID fever dream during a difficult team. She sees and hears Hayes because she’s falling for him the same way that he’s falling for her and because he’s talking about her kids who she loves. She wants to go back but she’s doesn’t know how. She sees Richard and Bailey and hears their concerns and how worried they are about her because Richard is like a father to her and Bailey is a maternal figure in her life.

She wants to go back and as George says to her if she doesn’t it will break Richard. She sees Derek because he’s the love of her life and he represents death and passing over which is a real possibility and option. His presence comforts her in a way that no one else’s can. She sees George because what he did and how he died changed her life and they never got to have that closure in life. She never got to tell him that, but in her fever dream she does. She gets that closure and gets to re-examine why she did what she did. Why she goes all out for everyone like he did.

Seeing Mark and Lexie gives her closure too. Lexie provides that joy and that sunny optimism Meredith used to hate but eventually grew to love and missed so much when she died. Mark provides laughter and gives her the matter of fact tough love that she needs to hear in her time of need. Everyone plays a part and brings us joy and closure in the process. I loved Mark’s lines about how sometimes he yells in everyone’s ears to try and get them to listen and see reason. How sometimes people listen to him and think it’s their own idea and sometimes they don’t. How Callie and Arizona’s divorce made him shout.

It made me think of all the times when Lexie and Mark and other characters probably shouted at the living characters for their stupidity. Meredith deciding to waste her time dating DeLuca? Lexie and Derek definitely yelled in her ears for that. Every stupid fight, divorce, break up, date, and bad decision the characters have made since Derek, Mark, Lexie, and George died? They’ve definitely screamed their ears off at them. We now know that George tries to shake the grief out of his mother and Mark and Lexie make a habit of yelling in the ears of their loved ones making horrible decisions. I love it!

There’s something so hilarious and reassuring about the dead who have left us yelling and shaking us from beyond the grave and us taking that as a sign or our own idea and moving forward and making better decisions. I loved seeing Meredith talk about Bailey’s birthday party with Lexie and how what he really wanted for his birthday was for all of them to laugh. That establishes that Bailey’s birthday is in March or April. Which again makes that gelato DeLuca comment from Episode 8 literally impossible because he couldn’t have brought Bailey gelato for his actual or half birthday when he and Meredith only dated for a few months and he only met her kids officially a few weeks before they broke up.

Hayes’ storyline with his sister-in-law Irene was everything! We learned more about her, got to see what her relationship with Hayes is like, and learned more about how his boys are handling everything. He got his own storyline and development. I love it! His tour of the hospital on the way to the OR was hilarious! “And that is a supply closet!” LOL! I loved how supportive Irene was of him moving on. She really wanted to meet Meredith this great General Surgeon he keeps talking about all the time to his boys to the point that she knows all about her and knows that Hayes is definitely smitten. I loved her line when Hayes told her she couldn’t meet Meredith because she was on a ventilator and she looked at him and said, “Again?”

The fact that she knows he likes her because of the way he smiles every time he talks about her to the point that the boys have picked up on it and told her? My heart! Irene really came through for us in this episode! Bless her! Hayes was so distraught this episode. I like that they really showed his process and how upset he was that Meredith was still on a vent and that Irene was sick. His pain when he talked to Jo about how he couldn’t bear to tell his boys that they had lost another person that they love whose been taking care of them was heart wrenching.

Irene is a total badass. The information we’ve gotten about her shows what a fiercely loyal and supportive person she is. Cormac and Abigail meet at the Surgical Innovation Conference in LA when Abigail is a starving artist and Cormac is early on in his medical career. His conversations with Meredith show that he’s unfamiliar with American medical terms and colloquialisms and he talks about growing up in Ireland and how every day is Pro Bono Surgery Day there. We know that after his wife died he took his boys and moved to Zurich, Switzerland where he worked for two years before moving to the U.S.A. to take the job in Seattle.

We also know that Irene was Abigail’s POA when she was sick and that prior to the pandemic she was back living in LA. All of which implies that sometime after Abigail and Cormac met she decided to move to Ireland to be with him and they got married and she gave birth to Liam and Austin while Hayes was a practising surgeon in Ireland. But that when Abigail got sick Irene gave up her life in LA to move to Ireland for several years to be her sister’s POA and support her nephews and brother-in-law.

Abigail ultimately died and following that Cormac took Liam and Austin and moved to Zurich at which point Irene moved back to LA where she was living during Season 16 when they went to visit her during the Conference Episode. When the COVID-19 Pandemic hit the U.S. Irene then insisted on moving to Seattle to care for Liam and Austin while Cormac worked at Grey Sloan. Cormac and Irene drive each other crazy and agree on nothing and her own sister called her crazy before she died and yet she picked up and moved her whole life across the Atlantic and then to a different state for them. That’s love. That’s badass. You keep doing you Irene!

The scenes with Jo and Catherine in the OR cracked me up! "Child, who throws away a kidney? Lord." Haha! I loved Jo’s reaction when Catherine brought up switching careers. At first, I was confused as to why Jo lied, but then my friend Amy who I watch with pointed out that maybe Jo doesn’t want her boss to know she’s considering switching specialties just yet. I’d honestly like to see Jo switch from General to Urology. As Catherine says there are few women in the field and there are a lot of general surgeons on this show.

Jo switching from one surgical specialty to another to find joy and challenge herself makes sense to me. Her switching from general surgery to OBGYN does not. I thought she was going to adopt that baby Luna but then she told Jackson and Link that she doesn’t want to have children now or maybe ever and their scene this episode was pretty short. I thought when she was considering switching to OBGYN that either Carina or Hayes would train her.

But they’ve moved Carina over to Station 19 so completely that her brother died on Grey’s Anatomy and we only saw her briefly at the end of Episode 8 when she attended her brother’s memorial. Prior to this episode I would have described Jo and Hayes as friends, but they were pretty adversarial this episode and at this point they seem to be two people that like each other well enough and who respect each other’s surgical skills and that’s it. So, based on this week’s episode Hayes definitely isn’t going to step up and train Jo in his specialty. They’re not close enough and he’s got enough on the go.

I loved the scene where Jo and Jackson were in bed together and Jo started talking about how scary his Mom was and he was like why are you talking about my Mom when we’re naked together? It reminded me of how April thought his Mom was the coolest and walked on water and would talk about it when they were together. Made me laugh! I love seeing Maggie innovate and find a way to help those poor patients and double the hospital’s ventilator capacity!

Seeing Richard dance it out at the news and then again when him and Owen successfully took Meredith off the vent and she began breathing on her own was glorious! Such joy! Winston’s proposal and Maggie’s acceptance of it surprised me! I like them together and want them to get their happy ending, but this feels a bit sudden likely brought on by all the stress they are experiencing.

I mean Amelia and Link have a child together and are also co-parenting Leo and Allison with Teddy and Owen and are raising a boatload of children during the pandemic and they’re not married or engaged.  It was nice that Teddy and Owen finally stopped fighting after half a season of nonsense! That was nice. I loved how Amelia stepped up and supported Teddy and told her what she needed to hear. Yeah therapy sucks sometimes. It can be uncomfortable. So are mammograms.

We still get them! You have to put in the work to get better otherwise it doesn’t happen. I like that they are showing us the process of Teddy getting better while making sure that the kids are looked after. Teddy is doing a bit better, but she’s still not well enough to be looking after Leo and Allison by herself without supervision and since Amelia is at home anyways she might as well help.

Plus, it’s probably good for Leo and Allison to play with Zola, Bailey, and Ellis. They’ve only seen Owen and his Mom for two months. I liked the moment where Teddy said that Ellis looked like Amelia and that they really are sisters. She’s Meredith’s daughter, but she’s clearly picked up some of Amelia’s mannerisms because Amelia’s helping to raise her. Which does happen. Also, she’s Derek’s daughter too and since Amelia and Derek are siblings and share a resemblance it makes sense that she might also share traits with Ellis. I like that we are learning more about Bailey and Ellis this season.

Seeing the joy on everyone’s faces, including Zola’s, when Owen came in and told everyone that they took Meredith off the vent and that she was breathing on her was palpable. Such a great moment! I loved the moment where Tom was holding a rosary praying for Meredith and Owen finally stopped being a jerk for five seconds to comfort him and tell him about his own experience with survivor’s guilt after coming back from Iraq after his entire platoon was killed.

I’d like to see them explore Tom’s relationship with faith more. Something else I loved? The texts from Cristina! Loved it! Owen was like I can read her charts myself and Cristina was like I don’t care take a picture! I love that we’ve seen Cristina through text messages the last two seasons. I really miss her. Also is anyone updating Alex? I feel like they are, but I would love to see them mention or show it on screen. Same with Callie and Arizona. I felt like Hayes was the obvious choice for keeping Cristina up to date but seeing as he has a lot going on this episode my guess is that she texted him and he didn’t respond because he was too busy worrying about Irene so she texted Owen and asked for an update.

Did anyone else feel like it was hypocritical for Owen to be so mad at Teddy for still being in love with Allison and not telling him about their relationship when he’s apparently been texting Cristina about Meredith’s condition and talking to Amelia regularly this whole time? He clearly still has feelings for both of them and they are still very much alive and in communication with him and he’s mad that Teddy didn’t tell him about a dead lover? Jerk.

I loved seeing Levi step up and step into his own as a doctor. He’s no longer the bumbling fool of seasons past. He’s got his crap together and he’s going to do what needs to be done to keep his patient alive and healthy. His song about hump day cracked me up! Link was so happy to be operating this episode LOL! His comment about the poop diaper explosion was something else. Seeing Richard’s anger and frustration and seeing him explain how he was feeling to Link felt raw and really expressed how we’re all feeling like now. The fact that being low on ventilators is a real problem that hospitals have been facing ever since the pandemic started is enraging! I hate that this is real.

I hate that real hospitals with real patients have to make these kinds of calls. Health care providers are real superheroes. I could never make a decision like that. How do you decide who lives and who dies? How do you decide who needs a ventilator most and live with the consequences for you and the patient? I couldn’t do it. I love that Meredith appears to be waking up in next week’s promo. My bet is that she’s going to reunite with Derek one last time and then wake up. I’m interested to see Richard fill her in on what’s being going on and to see Amelia and Link talk about the possibility of getting married at some point. Also, can we take a moment to appreciate shirtless Link? Hot!

Until next time!

[geekkatsblog]

Grey's Anatomy season 17×06 Review

(How the f**k they just gonna leave me on read like this till March 4th)

The episode was a rollercoaster but something tells me the real ride is going to happen from the next episode.

___________________________________________

Maggie

I knew Winston was gonna show up in person at some point or the other. When he dropped the long distance wasn't working line and put the phone down in her ear so he could get some 'eggs' I knew he was in Seattle, good for her she's going to need him to lean on seeing that Mer freaking crashed again. At least she'll have somebody there for her because all her other support is personally attached to Meredith as well.

Besides Winston turning up, treating Tom and her being understandably giddy at Mer being awake there was also a scene where she educated Amelia on some things now I won't get into the details again but I'm just in love with the fact that Grey's isn't afraid to touch on controversial topics, they use their large platform to raise awareness and their speeches are always on point.

___________________________________________

Teddy/Owen

(She needed the time off more than Bailey did tbh)

My God was it satisfying when Richard literally just tore into her. She put herself in the situation and is now taking her anger out on others which is really in poor taste. Poor Helm, I hope she didn't take it personally. At this point it's her time to annoy me, I miss the season 6 Teddy, hopefully she redeems herself soon. After being torn apart by Webber's words she then proceeds to make things worst by revealing yet another big secret to Owen at work. (At least this time it was on purpose.) She just needs to take some time away and think on what she really wants and needs to reflect before spontaneously starting potentially life changing conversations. First it was telling Tom they had a chance then it was telling Owen that she still loves him and the kids while also revealing that she named their daughter after not only her best friend but also the woman that she was very much in love with. Pick a struggle Teddy at this point she's seeming confused more than anything else.

___________________________________________

Owen

For the past few seasons Owen was one of the characters getting on my nerves but lately he's been fine. He hasn't redeemed himself yet but his probation is going fine. Watching this show really shows how good of a person a doctor has to be in order to follow the ethical guidelines. If I had that scum bag for a patient I would have literally just pretended to fail at saving him and let the guy die, (guess that's why the Lord made me suck at Chemistry and Physics) his response to Bob about him being at the devils barbecue was badass, gave me serious season 5 Owen vibes or vibes like when he punched that guy out for disrupting the ER when he was chief, Major Hunt reporting for duty.

As for him and Teddy I can get why he was upset, her he was about to attempt to make amends at probably rekindling a friendship or maybe their relationship and she revels that your daughter is named after her lover, she could have atleast told him that when they were in the naming process, he deserved to know exactly who his child was being named after. I'm kinda a bitch but there was no way I'd feel comfortable having my child named after my partner's lover. On the other hand he should hear her out he has literally cheated twice and both times he sat and was able to share his side of the story and the woman he was with listened to his explanations. Teddy deserves as much, it might hurt but he did the same and Karma unfortunately is still a bitch.

___________________________________________

Bailey

(I just wanted to give her a hug the whole night.)

She has a really unhealthy habit of working through her grief, first her miscarriage and now through the death of her mom. I'm honestly sad that Ben had to be the one to comfort Tuck and tell him his grandmother had even died (she's always so busy, Ben is pratically the one raising him at this point.) And I'm also upset that I haven't gotten to see Ben being there for her either. I'm assuming it might be a protocol on the sets.

At least she took time off of the cases, I understand why she didn't want to go home as a doctor she has the highest risk of transporting the virus, but her mind understandably wasn't going to be in the doctoring game. I really thought they were gonna make her freeze up and accidentally kill a patient or something, but at least they didn't go down that line. And what even happened to her dad? did he take the Covid test? Wheres he staying now? Is he safe?

The conversations between her and Deluca were sweet, it's another unexpected friendship, before the only one she really disclosed any details of her life with was Richard but now they're opening her support group which is fine. I'm also glad that Deluca was able to look past the whole fiasco last season and hold no grudges. She has now fully redeemed herself completely, she's still my all time favorite character but from season 13 to probably mid season 16 she really had some storylines and scenes that irked me to watch and made me question some things, but now she's back on track at least to me.

Also I know that Richard is the chief of chiefs but how are they just gonna let him take back over the surgery unit like that again? I mean I did miss him as chief but now Bailey just basically seems like a regular old surgeon with a fancy office, idk it just seems kinda weird to me.

___________________________________________

Jackson

Not only carrying on the work and teachings of Mark Sloan but also using his boatload of cash to rescue a patient's mother from racist police who should have been the ones actually in prison. That was basically it for him though.

___________________________________________

Jo

Oml I honestly almost forgot she was even really in the episode. She had so little screen time. She's still in the middle of transitioning to OB. I have no issue with that because OB's still can do surgery, so we'll still get to see her and she'll be happy again plus it's about time that Grey's cashes in that Regulars card on Carina. We see her on Station 19 as an accessory I want to see the Jo and Carina tag team.

___________________________________________

Amelia

Not really much in this episode. No content with Link she just did surgery to save the scum with Owen. They may have made a mediocre couple but they work good as friends. Also I'm assuming she's off of maternity leave now? Did they mention that I'm not sure but she's back now.

___________________________________________

Richard

Not much of a storyline, he made the decision to put Meredith on the Vent and is busy running the hospital as the chief of the hospital again I guess. And also spitting the much needed facts that Teddy needed to hear.

___________________________________________

Tom

They're finally showing more of Tom's good side, I mean I always liked him and saw the potential in his character but they never really showed his soft side for a prolonged period like they did today. May I just say I enjoyed his and Meredith's friendly banter they have the same lowkey dark humor and at least it would have taken their minds off of being sick especially for him because he basically has no one else. Hearing him open up about his son and expressing how he'd do anything to hear him say dad again was sad I can only imagine his pain. Meredith was his reason for holding on especially after he had to witness his roommate die from Covid, the same thing he's suffering from right before his eyes and now Mer back unconscious this time with a tube down her throat I'm just really hoping that he keeps the faith, the last thing we need is a death right now.

___________________________________________

Meredith

(God damn it Mer all you had to do was stay awake.)

For a few brief moments all was right with the world Meredith was awake and everyone was happy and then she just had to go be Wonder Woman and over exert herself, but that's the thing they would have probably needed armed guards at the doors to keep her from putting someone else's life above her own, its one of her best qualities and at times one of her worst. I knew it was too good to be true when she was awake and laughing. It was giving me Mark Sloan final episode vibes. They better not kill her off that would be the worst ending for me, what about the kids? Step off the damn beach Mer you've gone through too much to let Covid take you out. On the other hand this gives us more beach scenes. It's more unlikely to have a live character return but there's still lots of dead ones to choose from, her mother is always a likely suspect, Denny loved being on the show and I think Breaking bad had its final season, Mark is a toss up based on how he cut ties with the show and Lexie is also a toss up because she is filming Supergirl in another country, however anything is possible with Grey's. I thought the beach scenes were over because she was waking up but look how wrong I was. All I hope is that they don't kill her off its unlikely because she's the main character but still its Grey's they like to go out with a bang.

___________________________________________

Deluca

I left him for last because to me he really did have the biggest storyline of the night.

Firstly I'm glad to see that at least part of the earliers season's Deluca has returned. I loved him as the passionate, badass and almost cocky guy as well but I always missed his more compassionate and softer side more. I'm glad to see it back and I'm also glad to see that he's taking his meds and resting, and I can confirm that having support is a needed factor in treating mental health. As strange as it was seeing the Bailey and Deluca chat it's good that they both have each other. They both suffer from mental illnesses and can relate to each other on a different level. They have me wondering now if they're going to use his mental health issues as a way to separate him and Mer, or use it as the reason why he pursued her, kinda like how they tried to blame Amelia's tumor for her bad decisions and then used it to break her and Owen up. I guess we'll just have to see where Merluca will go from here or if it will manifest Merhaynes instead.

Now onto the big stuff, the whole sex trafficking thing the whole episode I was literally yelling at the tv for either Deluca, Bailey or Carina to see that bitch, the moment it was connected that the kidnapper was involved in trafficking and she showed up I knew shit was about to go down. My heart was racing when I saw her with Schmitt. I really thought she was going to attack him with how sus she was being, luckily she had to go to avoid further suspicion. They need to put security on those girls' door. They've been through enough. If she goes to finish off Bob then no one cares but the girls don't deserve to go through anything else and Deluca after seeing her decided to go after him himself instead of calling the police, granted the police wasn't doing anything helpful but the last thing we need is for him to go after her himself like Superman and trying to save the day. At least Carina went with him so she can help talk him down if necessary but there's only so much she can do.

___________________________________________

There are too many damn superheroes in that hospital.

___________________________________________

My questions are:

• Will both Tom and Meredith make it out of the Covid sickness or will one or even both of them die?

• Will Teddy finally make her mind up so that the Teddy, Tom and Owen love triangle can finally have an ending?

• Who the hell is coming to the beach next? And can they tell Meredith to get her ass off of the beach and never return until she's like 80?

• Will Superman, I mean Deluca save the day without needing medical attention afterwards? Or worst yet needing a casket?

• Is Jo actually switching specialties?

• Are they going to go after the girls or kill Bob instead?

• How is it going to go with Maggie and Winston now that he has arrived in person?

• And lastly and most importantly what am I supposed to do with my Thursday nights until March 4th.

[oboevallis]

the diary pt 1

TW/ DEPRESSION, CUTTING, BLOOD,

please don’t read if this could trigger you, there probably will be a part 2

“Where’s Addie?” Amelia asked as she scrambled around in the kitchen trying to get ready for work and to make sure the kids got to school on time.

“I don’t know, she was up late last night though.” Scout told his mother whilst being engrossed in his phone.

“What is she doing up so late?” Amelia rhetorically asked.

“Come on guys.” Amelia ushered her youngest out of the door so she could drive him to school. “Don’t leave without your sister.” She reminded Scout, last week he left for school and forgot to take his sister with him.

“I won’t, Scouts honor.” The teen smirked holding up three fingers. Once his mother left he sat at the kitchen table on his phone, waiting for his little sister.

“Ready?” Addie asked as she stood beside her brother.

“I’m ready, your not. Aren’t you gonna get dressed?” He asked looking at her attire of sweatpants and an oversized tshirt, he didn’t find anything wrong with the choice of clothing but it’s what she fell asleep in last night.

“I am dressed.” The girl huffed in annoyance as she made her way to the door. Scout just rolled his eyes and followed his sister to his car. The two sat in silence on the way to school, it was their new normal. The pair used to be inseparable, but now she had distanced herself from him. His mother told him it was just her being a teenager, but it upset him deeply.

“Dads coming home from his conference next week, he’s gonna take us to the Mariners game. I’m excited are you?”

“Yeah, it should be a lot of fun.” Addie smiled, but Scout could tell it was forced.

“Maybe want to watch a movie tonight?” He asked as he parked the car into the parking lot.

“We’ll see.”

“Yeah.” Scout sighed, knowing that it probably wasn’t going to happen. “We’ll see.”

_______________________________________

“Hey.” Maggie smiled stepping into Scouts room.

“Aunt Maggie! What are you doing here?”

“Winstons getting on my nerves.” She chuckled jumping onto her nephews bed. “And your mom got pulled into surgery. So I thought I’d come by and have dinner with you guys.”

“Mom just doesn’t trust us. We’re older now, I can cook dinner and stuff. But that’s not saying I don’t love spending time with you.” He chuckled, him and Maggie always had a close relationship.

“You know your mom, she’s kinda overprotective.”

“Yeah I honestly can’t believe, there was a time she went to parties and did drugs.” Maggie chuckled along with Scout before getting up to check on the others. Anders was engrossed in a video game, so she went across the hall, quietly opening the door to Addison’s room to find her fast asleep, she chuckled to herself that girl was just like her mother and savored any sleep she could get. Maggie walked over to shut her bedside lamp off to allow the room to be darker, dodging over the mess that had accumulated in her room. Before exiting the room she spotted a journal peaking out beneath her dresser, she knew it was an invasion of privacy and she shouldnt read it. She had temporarily lost Zola’s trust for a couple of weeks because of this, but she couldn’t stop herself.

“Auntie Maggie, can we have spaghetti for dinner?” Anders asked running out of his bedroom with Scout following behind.

“Sure. What are you two up too?”

“We were gonna go to the tennis court if that’s alright.” Scout said.

“Why not?” Maggie smiled. “Just be home before 6:00, I don’t want you driving in the dark.”

“Sure thing!” Scout reassured as the pair went out to the car.

The cardio surgeon made her way into the living room and situated herself so she could see if Addie came down the stairs so she could quickly hide the journal. She let out a shaky breath, not sure why she was so nervous.

“Hey I’m home.” Amelia cheerfully announced making Maggie jump, and she slammed the book into her chest. “Sorry didn’t mean to scare you. Where are my kiddos.”

“Addies sleeping, and everyone else went to the tennis court.” Maggie said quickly wiping any stray tears.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” The neurosurgeon asked sitting down next to her sister. Maggie shakily placed the book into her hands. “Is this Addies journal? Why do you have this?”

“Yeah, um I just saw it and started reading it you know how I am. You really need to read it though.” By the look on Maggie’s face she could tell it wasn’t anything good. Maggie watched her sisters face contort with tears as she read the aggressive words on the pages, and wrapped her arm around the scared mother.

“I thought she was just being a teenager.” Amelia voice broke. “I’m her mother. How did I not realize she was in so much pain?”

“It’s okay.” Maggie tried to soothe allowing her sister to cry on her shoulder. “It’s not your fault.”

“I’ve gotta call Link.” Amelia said grabbing her phone from her bag. “God, what do I even say?”

“Just tell him he needs to come home.” Maggie suggested, not sure. They suddenly heard the door open and Amelia turned away to wipe her tears.

“Hey mom! I thought you had surgery tonight.” Anders smiled as he kicked off his shoes by the door.

“It got pushed. So I came home.” The mother forcefully smiled, once she wiped her tears.

“You good mom?” Scout asked nothing something was off in the atmosphere.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why don’t you guys help Anders study for his exam?”

“Ugh, mom do we have to?” Anders complained.

“Yes. Yes you do.” The pair made their way into Anders room obviously upset that they had to do something school related.

“I’m gonna go make dinner.” Maggie said as she stood up and walked into the kitchen. Amelia followed behind her and sat at the kitchens island.

“What do I do?” Amelia asked as Maggie filed a pot up with water.

“I don’t know.” Maggie admitted, they were both doctors but were both blanking on what they should do. This was a person they loved and their emotions were interrupting their rationality. “What’d Link say?”

“Nothing yet, he must be at a dinner. I called and texted he needs to come home immediately though.”

“Okay, he’ll see it soon.” Maggie tried to comfort. The two sat in silence while the cardio surgeon finished making dinner.

“How was everyone’s day at school?” Amelia asked once everyone was at the table, and she listened to everyone’s review in the day and then expectantly looked at her oldest daughter.

“It was fine.”

“Nothing stressful happen?”

“No, I said it was fine.” Addie said with annoyance dripping in her voice. Everyone sat in awkward silence after that exchange, until Amelias phone rang which she jumped up to take.

“What’s her deal?” Scout asked as he watched his mother go into her study. By the look in his aunts face he realized she knew something. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Maggie said an octave higher than usual.

“Something is obviously going on.” Scout said.

“Just a patient drama at the hospital.” Scout skeptically looked at his aunt but continued to eat regardless. Once Amelia came back they could tell their mother had been crying.

“Ok what’s going on?” Anders asked, it was very rare they saw their mother cry.

“Nothing, just hospital troubles.” Their mother mustered up as much of a smile as she could. Addison then stood up placing her dish in the sink.

“Where are you going?” Amelia asked panicked.

“ I need a shower. Why are you being so weird?” Addie knew she had to keep calm, there was no way her mother knew.

“Make it quick.” Amelia said firmly.

“Since when do our showers get timed?”

“Just make it quick.” The mother bit her nail as her daughter went up the stairs. Maggie placed a reassuring hand on her thigh. Amelia looked back up the stairs and stood up once she heard her daughter close the bathroom door. She then went up the stairs and sat against the closed bathroom door, and heard the shower turn on. She quietly sat there until she head a stifled sob. “You okay in there?”

“Leave me alone! And why are you stalking me?” Addison yelled causing Amelia to wince, her daughter barely ever went off on her.

“Addie? Can I come in?” Amelia asked bitting her nail again.

“Just leave me alone! Is that too much to ask?”

“Addie, please I want you to be okay.”

“Your gonna be mad at me.”

“I promise I won’t. Can I come in?” She heard silence and took that as the okay to come in. It took everything in her not to burst into tears at the scene in front of her. Her daughter sat in the middle of the shower as the water fell onto her and blood circled down the drain with it. She quickly went into the cabinet under the sink and grabbed a hand towel and some hydrogen peroxide. She got into the shower with her daughter still in her work clothes and wiped her daughters thighs throwing the razor blade across the room, noticing she had multiple cuts in many stages of healing. She cleaned each cut, and observed the new ones noting her daughter could use stitches as she kept pressure on the cut.

“Are you mad?” Addisons voice broke, all Amelia could do was shake her head no she didn’t want her daughter seeing her cry right now.

“Baby, you need stitches.” She chocked out.

“No! I don’t want to go to the hospital!” Addison yelled pushing her mother off off her. “Please, mommy.” The girl begged.

“I’ll be right back hold pressure ” Amelia whispered as she exited the bathroom and made her way into her study, and Maggie followed her in.

“What’s going on, is she okay?” Maggie asked as Amelia looked through her drawers for something.

“It’s worse than I thought.” Amelia confessed as she finally found the suture kit and numbing spray she was looking for.

“Does she need stitches?” Maggie asked shocked seeing the kit in her sisters hand, to which Amelia could only nod. “You need to take her to the hospital.”

“She doesn’t want to, and she’s so upset. And I need Link here.” Amelia said wiping away the tears that were falling down her face. Maggie sympathetically looked at her sister and followed her up the stairs into the bathroom where the girl was still seated in the shower sobbing.

“Hey sweetheart.” Maggie smiled as she stepped into the bathroom with her sister. “You know if you let us take you to the hospital we can help you.”

“Yeah, if we do the stitches here it’s gonna hurt like hell.” Amelia said trying for keep her voice from wavering.

“I don’t care.” After some convincing Amelia and Maggie were able to coax Addison into going to the hospital. The girl didn’t want anyone seeing her so they snuck in from a side door and went into the neurosurgeons office. Maggie went to get a suture kit and a numbing agent, while Amelia sat on the couch still applying pressure to the girls leg even though the bleeding had slowed.

“I’m back.” Maggie whispered, closing the door behind her. She moved to where Amelia had been previously sitting and began to stitch the girls leg. Amelia held her daughters hand, and Addie pulled away.

“Hey, Amelia you were supposed to be in OR 1 an hou-.” Meredith barged into her sisters office since becoming the new Chief she had been running the hospital on a strict time schedule, but then stopped herself once she saw the scene in front of her. “Oh.”

“Put Koracick on it.” Amelia said, glaring down at her sister.

“Do you want to speak outside?”

“Just put Koracick on it.” Amelia said it firmly.

“Let’s speak outside, Dr Shepherd.”

“What the hell do you want Meredith?” Amelia shouted once she shut the door behind her.

“Are you okay?” She asked in a maternal manner.

“Do I look okay? Do I seriously look okay? My daughter doesn’t want to be here, I put her on this Earth and she hates me for it. She literally wrote in her diary ‘the worst decision my mother ever made was not aborting me’ how the hell am I supposed to be okay?” Meredith tightly embraced the scared mother.

“Do you want me to get her a bed in pysch?” The neurosurgeon winced at her words, and nodded before wiping her tears and walking back into the room.

“Can we go home now?” Addison asked once Maggie had finished the stitches. The mother took a deep breath before speaking again.

“No, we can’t.” Amelia looked down at the floor not able to make eye contact with her daughter.

“Huh? Why?”

“We’re gonna stay here for the night.”

“Your sending me to the pysch ward?” The teenager chuckled, obviously in disbelief.

“I’m worried about you. All I want is for you to be happy and healthy.”

“Well I don’t need you to be.” Addison stood up and made her way to the door, but not before her mother could block it. She hadn’t realized how much taller her daughter was than her until they were fighting over the door, it scared her, she remembered when she was a toddler looking up at her mother and now it was the other way around. She barley recognized the girl. “Don’t waste your energy on me, waste it on your two perfect children.”

“Your perfect to me, I love you.” Amelia choked on her words. “We all do.” The girl rolled her eyes and sat back down on the couch.

_______________________________________

“What’s going on?” Link asked quickly once his wife picked up the phone.

“When will you be home?”

“I’ll be in the next plane in about half an hour? What’s going on you can’t just text me there’s an emergency and I need to come home and then not tell me.”

“I-“ Amelia choked on her words, trying her best not to break down on the phone. “I had to send um, A-Addie. She’s um, she’s in the pysch ward.”

“What?” Link chuckled, nervously. It sounded ridiculous, to him. He knew his daughter had not been herself lately but brushed it off as her being a teenager. He knew it was bad from the phone call he received earlier, but now it felt real.

“Just get home as soon as possible.” The scared mother affirmed before hanging up the phone. Leaving Link to state at the black screen of his phone, worried to death about his daughter.

_______________________________________

“Addison Lincoln.” Amelia responded to the nurse who asked her who she was there to visit.

“One minute.” The nurse kindly smiled, before she went to check if the girl wanted visitors. Amelia played with the skin around her nail, nervously. “I’m sorry, but she’s not up for visitors right now.”

“Does she know it’s me?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t even say hi to her?”

“I’m sorry Dr Shepherd, but she doesn’t want to see you. We don’t want to upset her any further at the moment.”

“Okay.” The mother nodded sadly before she reluctantly left. She pressed the elevator button, it opening to reveal her husband. They quickly fell into each other’s embrace, Amelia allowing her tears to flow onto her husbands button up shirt, he must’ve come straight from a dinner when he went to the airport.

“It’s going to be okay.” Link whispered trying to comfort his scared wife.

“You don’t know that.”

“She’s strong, she’s gonna get help. She’s so strong, she’s just like her mom.”

[the-jade-cross]

No Matter What - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

When the girl woke, she heard a dozen voices whispering nearby. Slowly sitting up, making sure to not upset her hammock, she felt a couple of eyes peering at her from around the corner and when she turned to them, they bolted off, causing her to smile. She got to her feet and grabbed her shoes which she had left on the grass below the hammock, only to find a small white daisy resting in one of the shoes. Feeling her heart pounding, she pressed the flower close to her nose and besides the fresh scent coming from the flower, she picked up a scent of soil, cotton, and something almost citrus like… sort of like an orange. She wondered who left it there.

After pulling her shoes on and placing the daisy carefully in the front pocket of her jeans, she headed towards the delicious smell that was coming from one of the huts. As she approached, she found several wooden tables set in a circle fashion, all the boys lined up getting their meal servings.

“Say Frypan,” Gally called as he sat down with his food at the head of one of the tables. “You never make bacon for breakfast. What’s the occasion?”

Before Frypan even needed to answer, he caught sight of the girl approaching and grinning broadly, pointed his frying pan in her direction.

“It’s Girl!” Winston shouted, causing every eye to land on the girl as her face heated up when she found herself at the center of attention.

Zart elbowed him harshly, “That’s not her name!”

The girl was about to begin to dream of a life where the earth swallowedhere in this instant when a hand rested on her shoulder, making her jump and there stood Alby with a comforting smile on his face.

“Come on tough one, time to eat.” He said, draping his arm over her shoulders and bringing her toward the line.

When Frypan handed the girl her plate, Alby led her over to the table where Gally, Winston, Zart and Newt sat. She found myself squashed between Winston while Alby sat beside her to keep her from having to sit next to Gally, meaning that she was across the table from Newt.

“So?” Winston chirped before she could even take a bite. “Figured out your name yet?”

She shook my head, “No… nothing… all I can remember is WR.”

“WR?” Gally inquired. “Couldn’t that be your initials or something? Though that would be strange since all of us only has one name.”

She shook her head again as she took a bite of bacon, “No… I know for a fact it is not my name… I feel like I would know that it has something to do with my name or not… it is almost like… like the Glade. The Glade is where you guys, and now me live, eat and sleep. It is a part of your identity. I feel like WR is a part of my identity… just not my name.”

Soon, all eyes were on her and everyone, but Alby and Newt were staring at her with slack jaws and wide eyes. Alby was smiling thoughtfully at her while Newt was smiling with a look in his eyes that she did not know but it made the feeling of his gaze made her blush crimson.

“Is there a job in the glade for really smart people?” Winston inquired. “Because I think Slicers is way underrated for her.”

She smiled but shook my head, “Honestly it’s fine. I want to help there. I’m not that smart anyway.”

“Well, we cannot keep calling her Girl,” Gally observed. “We can always resort to…”

“Do not finish that sentence,” She warned through my teeth.

Gally lifted his hands in surrender, a smirk on his face. “It has never taken this long for someone to remember and we gotta know what to call you.”

the girl shrugged when suddenly something brushed her foot and she realized that Newt’s foot had been resting next to hers on the ground below the table and when he sat up straight, his foot shifted.

“I’ve got an idea!” he said, leaving his plate and catapulting off the seat and back towards the Homestead.

“What was that all about?” she inquired, only for Gally to smirk like a mischievous cat.

Everyone shrugged but then the girl heard Gally mutter something.

“Poor guy’s got it bad!”

She turned to him, thinking that perhaps he was talking about someone else but then she realized that his piercing black eyes were smirking at her.

“What do you mean?” she asked, tilting her head in the hopes of getting a clearer answer from Gally.

The boy shrugged as he stuffed a bite of pancakes into his mouth, speaking around the bite. “Just saying that Newt has got it bad for you.”

She frowned, “Like he hates me?”

Her heart dropped to the soles of her feet at the thought of Newt hating her. Sure, she had only known him for about a day, but he was so nice, thoughtful and sweet that it felt strange to think of him hating me… but then again, perhaps she had just misread his kindness… maybe he was just putting the niceness on as a front to hide his distaste for her. After all, she was the one and only girl in the glade. Maybe the reason no other girl has ended up here is because whoever put them here knew that Newt hated girls… maybe all of the guys hated girls…

Alby seemed to sense her worry and quickly patted her shoulder, “Of course not Greenie. Gally didn’t mean it like that.”

She moved her head toward Gally, hoping that Gally would back Alby up and thankfully he did, his eyes widening in shock when he realized how the girl had interpreted his words.

“No, no, no! I didn’t mean it like that! Trust me, if there is one person Newt hates, it’s me and I know for a fact that he doesn’t hate you. I mean he has it bad for you because… you see… erm….”

She realized that Gally couldn’t seem to get the words out, fearing that what he would say would make he worried again so Winston finished it for him.

“He means that Newt has a crush on you.”

The girl almost choked on her bite of bacon and gawked at the boys at the table who were all giving her earnest looks, meaning that they all thought the same, “Me!? But… I… I’ve only been here for a day and… Maybe you just think that cause I am the only girl…”

Zart shook his head, “Newt has a different personality around everyone. For Alby he is like a comrade and a follower. Around Gally, he’s the leader. For Winston and the younger guys, he’s almost like a father or big brother… trust me girl, he has a big bad crush.”

She was about to argue further when Newt came barreling back to the table and sat down in his seat, pushing his plate aside and set something in front of the girl. She looked down at it before taking it into her hands. It was a deep green jar with a little cloth top, tied down with a cord and a small slit in the cloth.

“I cleaned it out from the storage house,” Newt explained. “Over the next few days, if you do not remember your name, all of us will put some name suggestions in the jar and maybe if you read them, you can remember!”

The girl's eyes widened, both in surprise at Newt’s quick thinking and solving of her problem and her heart also skipped at the thoughtfulness of the gesture. She touched the jar, and it was cold and still damp from Newt scrubbing it clean of any dirt. The cloth was clean and newly cut as if he had done it just a moment ago and the cord wasn’t tied in a knot but in a simple shoelace bow, the two rabbit ears carefully pulled to be exactly the same size. Through the slit that there were about five little pieces of paper already in there from some of the guys who had already entered a name.

She lifted her eyes and smiled at Newt, “Thank you so much! I love it!”

Newt beamed and went back to his meal, not even realizing that Gally had swiped all his bacon and his pancakes were cold and dry, his smile still on his face. All the other guys were smirking at them and the girl could just tell that the smug look on Zart’s face was: ‘Told you: a crush.’

******

Winston had begun to show the girl the ropes over the course of the first two days. He showed her where the feed for the animals was stored in the loft in the rafters to keep it dry. He told her that the Trackhoes brought in the feed such as dried grass, corn, and all the scraps (for the pigs) which they stored inside for the days when they could not let the animals out like when it is rainy. There is a simple picket fence that surrounds the Bloodhouse made of a few poles and wire.

According to Winston it is not incredibly sturdy, but it helps keep the animals close to the Bloodhouse and away from the crops and other Glade members, so they don’t get underfoot. When Winston asked which part of Slicers she wanted to help with, she turned down the idea of helping slaughter the animals, so she was paired up with another Glader: Bailey, in feeding the animals and cleaning the Bloodhouse if they ever made a “mess”.

Every morning at breakfast she checked the name jar and sure enough, there were a handful of new papers inside the jar. She chose to not open it until it was full because she wanted to get everyone’s opinion even though the majority of them put in three or four suggestions each. She was beginning to get tired of being called Girly, Greenie, or Spitfire (something Gally had come up when she rejected his past nickname, him claiming that it “spoke volumes about her red hair”. She had taken to tying her hair back in a braid every day, not wanting to bother with the headful of wild curls but to give her head a break, she would take the braid out and let her hair run wild while she slept. She was not sure what the guys would say about it since they had only seen her in a braid, so she always waited to take her hair out when they were all asleep or when it was dark.

Finally, on the fourth day, at lunch she pulled out the name jar from where she had left it by Frypan’s stove (So at meals the guys could toss a name in) and untied the top carefully so as to not completely destroy Newt’s hard work. When the boys saw her opening the jar, they all began to pile over and sit as close to her as possible. She became squashed between Gally and Winston with Alby, Newt and Minho across from her with all the other guys sitting nearby or at the closest tables so they could hear.

"Minho, could you read them allowed?" she asked sheepishly, earning a wide grin and a nod from the boy,

One by one Minho drew out a name and read it aloud before setting it down next to the jar. The girl didn’t make any “eh no” or “I really like that!” to any of the names because she didn’t want the guys to feel bad but about a fifth through the names, Alby caught on.

“You can speak your mind Spitfire,” he assured her. “It is gonna be your name anyhow. If you don’t like some names, it won’t hurt our feelings. To be honest, if you do not choose Boyd then I am sure Gally will understand.”

She froze and turned to the guy on her right, “You wrote Boyd? You do realize that’s a guy name, right?”

Gally smirked and ruffled the top of her head, “I just wanted to see what you would think.”

She smiled and began to separate the names into two piles as Minho read them: No and “Maybe”. She didn’t want to say yes to any of them until she had read through them all.

As Minho and her continued to go through the names, Newt left the table and soon returned with two more jars: one clear and the other blue. He helped her put the “no” names in the blue jar and the “maybe” in the white. When the green name jar was empty, she grabbed the white jar and began to slowly go through the names, Minho calling them aloud again.

“Fiona….”

“’s pretty,” Zart observed. “Sounds really ladylike.”

The girl pursed her lips in thought before placing that name in the Blue jar.

“Poppy,” she read, and she heard Winston chuckle, indicating that he had thought of that one. “I might as well just stick with Spitfire.”

The table laughed and Gally leant over to whisper to her, “Don’t worry, none of the other names have to do with your hair Greenie.”

“Kendal…”

“Trixie…”

“Willow…”

“Elizabeth…”

“Grace…”

It felt like almost an hour passed and the girl was beginning to feel bad because the guys had finished their lunch and she knew she was holding them up from doing their chores. Finally, she took the white jar in her hands and turned to the others.

“Do ya’ll mind if I look over these later tonight before bed… let me think about it?”

Alby and Newt smiled at her from across the table, sensing her ulterior motive to not hold the Gladers up.

“Sure thing!” the guys all told her, some of them patting her on the back and whispering a name suggestion before they headed off to their jobs.

That was the end of the name jar for the morning, but she took the jar with her to the Bloodhouse. She set it on the table by the door and every time someone passed it, they took out a new name and called it out as a suggestion. By the end of the day, there were about ten names left but she didn’t bring them up at the dinner table so she settled into her hammock while the guys were asleep, pulled her hair loose and began to silently contemplate the remaining names to herself:

Julia

Vera

Catherine

Zinnia

Olivia

Hannah

Mary

Iris

Brianna

And…

Fawn

There was something about the last name that had been drawn from the jar: Fawn, that had stuck to her. It didn’t click a memory or anything like the guys said her name would but… something about it made her refuse to throw it with the other names in the blue jar.

“Any ideas?” a voice asked to her left and she almost jumped.

She turned and there sat Minho, awake and smirking at her from his hammock.

“I didn’t know anyone was awake,” she admitted.

Minho smiled. “I saw you get in and start to think. I wanted to be the first person to find out your name. So… any thoughts?”

SHe sighed, “This one… Fawn. I cannot stop thinking about it. The others in the jar I like but this one sticks.”

“Well then maybe that is your ‘sign’. I totally get the logic though.” Minho observed.

She turned and stared at him puzzled, earning a soft chuckle from the boy. “Your eyes. They may be green, but they are big and round like a cute animal’s and your freckles and just the innocence in your face is just like a little deer.”

“I was considering just keeping Spitfire,” she confessed, shaking her head to make her curls bounce.

Minho smirked. “Your hair might be crazy and red, but it’s cute too.”

SHe shrugged, “Listen… Minho… I don’t mind you being the first to find out my choice of name but… don’t tell anyone about my hair okay?”

The boy frowned, “Why is that?”

“I just… I’m… a little insecure… I mean… I’m the only girl and I would hate for the guys to look at me weird…” she confessed.

Minho smiled. “For the record, the guys wouldn’t care if your hair was a mop or a crow’s nest. But I will keep it a secret… Fawn.”

Fawn smiled at the use of her new name and soon the two of them drifted off to sleep.

[gothiccwhore]

13 reasons why season 4 review

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS IN THIS!! if you haven’t finished the season yet i suggest you skip this!! :)

also this will be super long because i tend to ramble and i’ll give reviews for each character/most of the storylines! ((half way through reading this i read @jessica-acholas and @analuciacortez reviews and i agreed with a lot of it so you guys should all read their reviews as well!!))

over all ranking:

as a whole, i would give this season a 7/10. i originally was gonna give it a 6 but they get an extra point for all the zalex scenes we got, and i also was thinking of the mess that was s3 so i had to give them that extra point too

storylines/the season as a whole:

my biggest concern/annoyance with this season was how rushed or repetitive it was

every storyline this season was either super rushed or super dragged out- no in between. the fact that we only had 10 episodes as opposed to the normal 13 probably had a part in this, which idk why they cut the episodes short. let’s start off with the dragged out storylines, one of them being clay’s nightmare sequences. i honestly did like his therapy scenes because it was good to see him get help and he was a much better narrator than ani, but his nightmare scenes were so long i literally had to skip all of them i got so bored. another dragged out storyline was jesstin, which i probably will get complains about. i think they have their cute scenes and i do love both characters, especially jess being tied with alex for #1 and justin being in my top 5. but my god their storyline/relationship is beyond repetitive, its been the exact same thing for 4 whole seasons. they break up, have a long speech about how they’re not right for each other, spend the whole season pining after each other, make up in the end and then have another speech about how in love they are. like writers please make up your mind- do you want them together or not?? we also had another repetitive love triangle this season just like every other with justin jess and diego as opposed to the justin jess and alex one for like 2 seasons.

now for the rushed storylines, one of them being alex’s relationship with charlie. i love charlie ever since we saw him in s3, he’s so pure and a lovable guy and i love how he loves alex. however they happened like out of nowhere?? alex went from being in love with jess for 3 seasons to being in love with 2 people in 4 episodes. if you blinked you would’ve missed the “build up” to their relationship, and honestly it felt like they just randomly threw in some relationship for alex because they didn’t wanna have zalex happen. i’m not saying this to be bitter (maybe i am lol) but zalex had 3 seasons worth of build up and could’ve been an amazing slow burn relationship for the whole season, instead they rushed another relationship. zach is also another character who had a rushed storyline with his drinking problem, which literally happened out of nowhere too?? he just showed up this season drunk in the first scene and drunk in literally every single scene we saw him in. this storyline also never got resolved, it just stuck there like the writers didn’t even care to end or resolve it. just like how zalex could’ve worked better for alex, it could’ve worked better for zach too since his drinking problem could’ve been helped by alex. i swear the writers just hate us at this point

characters review:

clay: one of my favorites honestly, he’s in my top 5. sure clay has had his moments where he’s been annoying and extra but so has literally every single character in this show- besides tony lol. like i stated above my main concern was how dragged out his sequences were this season, like i couldn’t watch all of them. also another huge problem i had with him this season was how big of a jerk he was to justin??? for like half of the season he was rude to him and would give snarky remarks/hints like when he was surprised colleges would even want justin, which i don’t blame justin for thinking that clay expected him to just relapse again and throw his life away. the same can be said for when clay said all those awful things to him at the party- his parents not being his and not trusting him like wtf? i felt SO BAD for justin there i was expecting clay to apologize to him. on the topic of the party episode, he literally crashed zach’s car and sent them flying 30 ft in the air just to leave zach all alone to literally die?? then there’s also the part where he and ani outed alex before he was ready to fully come out which sucks, that’s something you should never do but i know he was just worried about alex and didn’t want him to get heartbroken over winston - but why didn’t you tell him sooner??

ani: like i said with clay, i hated how she outed alex before he was ready to come out. i don’t understand how her and clay both didn’t think to tell everyone - especially ALEX who literally killed bryce and would’ve gotten hurt the most about winston?? they both knew that winston and alex both knew each other and met at the hillcrest party, so why not tell him winston is gonna be looking for information to clear monty’s name?? alex is literally the only person you guys SHOULDVE told first?? however i did enjoy her this season as opposed to s3, she had a great redemption and i liked that she finally apologized to jess for sleeping with bryce. she also wasn’t up everyone’s business this season and i loved all her scenes with jess, especially the prom ones

alex: HAAAAAA BI KING WHO GOT HIS HAPPY ENDING AND DIDNT GO TO JAIL FOR FLOORING THAT RAPIST!!! HOW DO YOU BRYCE AND MONTY STANS FEEL THAT BOTH OF THEM ARE 6FT UNDER WHILE ALEX IS FREE 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 i’m so happy he got his happy ending and became secure in his sexuality, that’s all i ever wanted for him since s1. i’m not saying this because i’m biased and he’s my favorite character, but he truly was one of the only characters who didn’t annoy me this season. he had a great arc even if it was super rushed, we finally got a zalex mutual love confession (i’m still bitter that we didn’t get our endgame but in my head we did), and i love how even if he and justin had their differences in the past seasons he was there for him in the end. i don’t really have any complaints about him besides the whole charlie thing being super rushed and so random?? why did the show put 2 bottoms together like we wouldn’t notice 🤨🤨

jessica: jess is my favorite character tied with alex, both of them have been since s1. i loved how she continued to be her badass self this season but a lot of the things she did/said kinda rubbed me the wrong way?? like i applauded her for calling out ani for judging who she was sleeping with after ani slept with bryce, but when you think about it diego literally is a rape apologist too?? jess tyler is literally your friend why would you date the guy who’s defending his rapist?? also don’t get me started how diego treated clay horribly this season, he was suffering with his mental illness and he played pranks on him and called him a psycho??? clay has always been there for you jess and he’s also one of your friends why would you still hang out with diego?? also in the first episode where justin breaks up with her and she got mad at him i got upset with her, justin made valid points he’s a recovering drug addict who needs to focus on himself not a relationship. i don’t understand why she got so mad at that, it was lowkey ooc for her? overall i still loved her i just hate how the writers reduce her to only a guy each season, but she still was amazing over all and looked beautiful!! her scenes with ani were great and i cried so much at her scenes with justin at the end.

zach: another one of my favorite characters who the writers did so dirty this season. i’ve loved zach since s1 as well, he’s in my top 5 and i’ve always loved how even if he was a jock he was still good hearted and there for everyone. i hated how in this season the writers forgot all of his traits and basically wrote him as a new person?? his drinking storyline was beyond random and had no build up/not even a resolution in the end. where even was his mother or sister this entire season. the show always paid him dirt and never focused on his home life when it was clear he didn’t have the best relationship with his mom. i’m so annoyed at how they wrote him as a “drunk” all season and didn’t even acknowledge his struggles. his scenes with alex were great, and i loved every single one of them. i’m still dying on the zalex hill and saying that they missed the perfect opportunity to make them a couple, it would’ve helped his storyline just like alex’s.

justin: oh my god, when i say my heart broke in the last episode it really did. i remember hating justin in s1, and then loving him in s2 with him being in my top 5 favorite characters. he had the best redemption arc, and i loved his portrayal of a recovering drug addict. i’m thinking now and he also didn’t annoy me this season just like alex, he was great and i’m so sad how they basically stomped all over his arc by killing him. it’s clear the show only killed him off because clay started the show by losing someone he loved, and ended it the same way. him dying by aids was so random and made 0 sense, i honestly thought he was gonna die from an overdose when discussing theories because i had a feeling it was either him or alex who were gonna die. they didn’t have a buildup for his hiv/aids- only added scars/bruises throughout the season which no one noticed if they weren’t closely examining him. i’m so saddened by his death and i will be planning a funeral for him along with zalex’s 💔.

tony: honestly a great character throughout the whole show, never was annoying and always was there for literally everyone. tony has always been a fighter and has been through so much without showing it, and i’m glad he got to go to college at the end and see his sister. i’m also so happy we got more scenes between tony and caleb this season because they are one of my favorite couples and are so underrated in the show and with fans ❤️ i was upset when he didn’t believe tyler, but i understood where he was coming from because he just wanted to be safe.

tyler: he’s so pure and i also loved his arc throughout the show, i’m so happy he has friends who love him and him and estela were so cute! i wish they explored more about him and the sheriffs working together because i honestly was confused about that before rewatching scenes. i also hate how they made him feel bad about monty dying when it literally was not his fault a rapist got killed in prison- monty’s rotting 6 ft under hello let’s celebrate to that!! i also loved how he was so supportive when he found out about winston and alex on the camping trip, he seemed worried about alex when winston said they broke up. i also love how alex was the only one who truly believed in him the entire show.

bryce: good riddance!! when i say i yelled when jess saw him when she was burning the tape why did he smile like pennywise?2@/@20so glad we saw no flashbacks of him this season and that he was just an annoying ghost, but even that annoyed me

monty: just like bryce good riddance!!! thank god we didn’t get that much of a redemption arc because i would’ve lost it- even though i literally rolled my eyes every time his ghost tried to say something that was supposed to make us feel bad for him. he’s rotting with bryce 🧚🏻‍♀️🤩

charlie: i loved him, he was so nice to everyone and so pure. i just wish they let him and alex be just friends because that came out of nowhere. i hope he’s baking more cookies and being happy

caleb: such a supportive bf i love him and tony, wish we saw more of him but i hope he’s living his best life <3

winston: he gave me joe from you vibes the entire season why was he creepy lowkey s:@:&;&!392&-03@3&4 nobody @ me but for a second i thought him and alex were cute during the bowling scene then i remembered who he was. he was a rape apologist which i hated, like dude he’s dead get over it i promise that dick probably wasn’t that good that you have to do a whole fbi investigation for him. the fact that he fell in love with monty and alex after like a week is sending me oddjdkckdkdj but i too am in love with alex standall so i see where he’s coming from, he gets points for not turning alex in at the end but i expected him to be a bigger villain this season but thank god he wasn’t because i would’ve floored him

chloe: my best girl who i wish we saw more of we only saw her for like 3 scenes?? the show did her dirty even in s3 she should’ve had more scenes her storyline was amazing :/ i did enjoy her and zach’s friendship it was so refreshing to see a m/f friendship and i’m glad they didn’t make them romantic. i didn’t expect her and scott to date but go girl!!

diego: literally came out of nowhere where were you for the other 3 seasons? i literally laughed every time he would talk about missing monty like who cares if he got you into football he was a rapist no one cares. i hated how he made clay go literally insane by pulling those pranks on him and calling him psycho?? “why’d you bring a knife” MF YOU GAVE IT TO HIM???? he was nice at the end so i guess i’ll give him some points and he also wasn’t a HUGE jerk i liked how him and justin helped each other when the cop was being racist/a dick and that he seemed upset at justin’s funeral

estela: her and tyler were super cute together and i loved how she acknowledged what monty did and didn’t try to make excuses to defend him. also loved how she wanted to join HO and was completely different from monty

so overall that was my review of the season, i will miss the characters so much and zalex will continue to haunt me every night i cannot escape 💔 jess and alex are my emotional support characters who would’ve thought. selena gomez and the 13rw writers you will pay for your crimes this season!

[feckin-zicons]

Squids, Dancing, and Dirty thoughts... Not necessarily in that order or all at once.

Apparently people like this? I am more confused than Liam is in this chapter. Which you know, makes sense bc this character only exists in my head, but also doesn’t at all bc I have no idea what goes on in there most of the time. Anyway this is for Zayn, Oxford commas, @stanmedusa who pointed out Zayn was also an Oxford comma stan, @redyellowberry, and their anon to started this mess. Also please imagine Zayn with his current blue hair, but also with his long Aladdin hair bc that’s what I’ve been doing and oh holy gods do I need that to happen. Please. Hair gods make it happen I’m begging

Same warnings as ever its 4AM, this is much longer than planned, and I have no interest in editing, making it sound coherent, or good. No, I don’t know about the squids either.

Parts 1&2 here

Liam would like to point out while he's not a stranger to feeling confused, he's still having trouble pinpointing how exactly he got to be Dance Mistress Irina Alinova's personal bitch. 

Ever since he accidentally interrupted one of the dance practises while looking for a missing prop for Director Corden, more and more of them started disappearing only to show up in the basement. No one else was interested in facing the Dance Mistresses' wrath, but Liam didn't mind the yelling. As long as Mistress Alinova didn't start throwing things, he figured he was safe enough. After all, it gave him the chance to see the blue haired ballerino again.  

Zayn Malik, the god in mortal form, the prima ballerino, the prettiest man Liam had ever seen, who had no idea who Liam even was. 

Liam had it bad. 

Liam had it so bad.

Liam had it so bad he tripped over thin air, spilled hot coffee over himself, and walked into a door when he thought he saw him at a Costas with Louis. The man he saw wasn't Zayn, thank fuck, but the entire sequence of events did give Louis more ammunition to tease him with. Stupid pretty boys with long blue hair and piercings sent from hell just to ruin Liam's life. Yeah, he was a goner. 

Louis dragged out the whole sorry story after Liam texted him about spiking his lunch and laughed himself sick knowing just how much of a mess Liam became around people he was interested in. They still didn't talk about Danielle. Which was a good thing considering the end of that relationship had Liam pretty much swearing off women for the rest of his life. No pussy was worth that mess. Dick though? Liam was willing to take that chance on Zayn, even if asking Harry didn't give him much information. 

According to Harry, Zayn had been around for a few years but mostly kept to himself or the other dancers. There was something about him throwing a fit a few weeks before Liam showed up. Upset about being forced to learn the choreography for Winston's show when it was just going to fail on opening night like it always did. 

Liam thought he had a point, considering. He didn't know what bananas, ballet, and really bad rapping had to do with King James VI but didn't want to voice that in front of the man playing the gay king. No one dared fire Zayn, considering he kept the whole theatre afloat, but it also didn't make many actors happy with him. Especially not Mizz Wendy Williams, who played Marie Antoinette in the play. Again, Liam had a lot of questions he didn't dare ask out loud. It's not like he was ever good at history, so it was entirely possible the two lived in the same time period. Or it was some sort of allegory that went over his head like the aristocrats wearing banana suits did. 

Louis always found his stories about his placement hilarious, but even that one had him wondering if there wasn't some sort of gas leak in their apartment. It wouldn't have been the first time, or the second. Most likely, it was the theatre that was growing some sort of mold that caused insanity if breathed in. Some of the things Liam had been forced to clean in the past few weeks were unspeakable. 

But even that probably couldn't explain Zayn Malik. Nothing could explain that sort of beauty and talent. Or those hands... and thighs... and fingers. Ung. Liam would love to get up close and personal with all of him.  

Either way, Liam had just been cleaning the mirrors in the practice room, humming along to Brandy and Monica on the radio, wondering if Niall was actually going to come down and help him instead of hiding away like a coward. Again. By the second verse, he'd given up trying not to sing along, not expecting anyone to come by. It was late, the dancer's practise long over, and Winston left screaming over an hour ago. Liam would have done a recce and skipped out on the last half hour if one of the managers wasn't sticking around still. Piers Morgan, an absolute cunt who treated the lads on probation like hardened criminals, and he was the prison warden. Despite, you know, most of the lads on summary probation, and Liam’s arson charge being the most serious crime out of all of them. 

Anyway, the last thing he's expecting is for anyone to come in while he's singing about the boy being his, rolling his body to the beat. Which is probably how he ends up tripping over himself when he notices Zayn leaning up against the open door, watching him. Watching him, in bright, tight, teal dance tights (were dance tights usually blue? They should be) that looked nice with his hair and complimented the gold tones of his skin. The skin he could see a lot of. Because he was shirtless. Because he was shirtless and had a lot more tattoos than Liam realized. Tattoos Liam wanted to bite. Not hard enough to make a mark or anything, that would be sacrilegious, but enough to make him make a sound. God, Liam hoped he was a moaner. Not that he thought he had a chance with Zayn or anything, but it would be a shame if Zayn was the type that stayed quiet during sex. 

Except he wasn't being quiet now, he was talking. And Liam was staring at him, like an idiot, not paying attention. Because he was an idiot. 

Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, why did this always happen to him? 

"Er, what?" Liam asked, desperately hoping he didn't sound as stupid as he felt right then, which was pretty fucking stupid. He probably looked even stupider than he felt and ruined his chances at ever-

"I asked if you were almost done? Was planning on practising more tonight," Zayn answered him. 

Zayn, Zayn Fucking Malik, answered him, and he was still staring at him like an idiot. Shit Liam say something.

"Pretty" 

Not that you idiot.

"What?" Zayn asked, looking confused and adorable.

Oh god, he was precious. Was that a smile? Was he smiling at him? Liam? Oh no.

"Pretty much, I meant. Pretty much done," Liam replied, wishing the ground would swallow him whole. "Just one more mirror, and I'll be out of your way."

There, those were words, sentences even. Now all he had to do was act normal and finish cleaning. Easy. 

"So, Brandy and Monica, right? You like R'n'B then?" Zayn asked him, walking into the room with a heavy dance bag, setting it off to the side.

Liam felt himself flushing as he turned back around to finish cleaning the mirror so Zayn wouldn't see.  "Yeah," he answered, trying not to peek at Zayn bending over as he rifled through his belongings. 

Those legs, Fuck. Liam wondered what it'd feel like to have them around his- 

"I didn't expect that," Zayn said, drawing Liam out of his filthy thoughts, and making him turn back around.

"What?"

"No, I- I didn't mean it in a bad way or anything. I guess I just expected you to listen to more rock?" 

Liam was pretty sure he missed half of the conversation somewhere. Was Zayn blushing? He was so pretty. Wow. 

"No, I like everything," he replied dumbly. They were still talking about music, right? That would make sense. Why was Zayn talking to him again? God, Liam couldn't handle this. "Do you like it? The music, I mean."

"Yeah, grew up listening to ‘em. My older sister was obsessed with Monica. So... Who's your favourite artist?" 

"Artist? Oh uh, I've been listening to a lot of Post Malone? How about you? What do you- who do you listen to?" 

"Post Malone's sick, mate. I like most music I guess, but I've been listening to a lot of The Weekend."

"Have you heard his new album?"

"Yeah, it's sick! Do you-" Zayn was cut off by Niall running in out of breath. The bright orange tee that labelled him as one of the community service workers was wet and stained black. Actually.. all of him was soaked and stained black. Was that ink?

"Hey, Payno, are you done yet because we have a situation upstairs," Niall gasped out, hands on his knees, looking like he'd just seen his life flash before his eyes. 

"What the hell happened to you?" 

"There's a squid stick in the toilet." 

"There's a what?"

"A Squid! A giant fucking squid in the toilet!" 

Liam blinked in confusion, trying to wrap his head around why there would be a squid anywhere near the theatre let alone one of the toilets. Did Corden want live animals in his show now? Or Winston. It could be either of them. 

"Why do you need me?" he asked. "I don't know anything about squids."

Niall sounded like he was at the end of his rope when he replied, "You know something about plumbing at least!" 

"Not a lot! Enough to keep the water on at home, but I'm not a plumber." 

"Doesn't matter, we need your help, Ashtons gone to find some butter," Niall said, stomping back around, leaving behind a trail of watery black ink. "We'll meet you upstairs when you're done."

"Wait, what do you need butter for?!" Liam called after him but didn't get a reply. Butter? How was butter going to help?

A muffled giggle distracted Liam from his thoughts, and he was abruptly reminded Zayn was still in the room. Zayn, might as well be a god, was in the room, and Liam was just talking about squids in toilets.

Why him?

"I guess I should go see what they need help with?" Liam tried to say without sounding... Well, he wasn't sure what the proper response was in this situation or how to react to it. 

Zayn smiled at him, and oh. How was it possible he looked even more attractive now? 

Liam thinks Zayn said something about the other lads needing him and it sounding urgent, but really, Liam was in a daze until he also got a face full of ink... From another squid in an entirely different toilet. 

What the fuck.

Louis was never going to let him live this down. 

Really? Squids???

[omg-imagine]

⊱ That Old Feeling ⊰

Summary: You're a lounge singer performing at the Continental for the first time in years, and you reconnect with your past love, John Wick.

Pairing: John Wick x Reader

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: Brief mentions of alcohol and a bit of drama.

A/N: I seriously can’t stop writing about John right now. I do have another fic in the works and hopefully, it’ll be up by next week. Anyways, I hope you enjoy and I wish you all good health especially at this time!

(Title and lyrics below are from the song by Chet Baker which inspired this fic)

With one last glance at your reflection in the mirror, you were ready to walk on stage. For a brief moment, you peeked through the red curtains and saw that the bar was teeming with patrons waiting for your performance. A small tap on your shoulder made you step back and look to the side.

“Darling,” Winston began with a wide grin before giving you a kiss on the cheek. “You look absolutely stunning.”

“Thank you, Winston,” you replied as you hugged the man in front of you. “And thank you for having me here.”

“Nonsense, dear. The guests have been eager to hear you sing ever since I announced that you were coming back. I can still remember the first time you sang on this very stage.”

You chuckled at the memory. Your father and Winston were good friends, and when Winston learned that you were gifted with an incredible voice, he hired you to perform live at the Continental’s bar every weekend. It was your first paid job as a singer, and you did it for years until you decided to take up an opportunity to work in Europe.

“That was such a long time ago,” you smiled, mindlessly toying with the microphone in your hand. “I can’t believe that I’m back here in New York. Everything feels the same yet different.”

“Well, I did some remodeling when you left— spiced up the place a bit after you complained it was getting a bit dreary,” Winston said teasingly.

“I was merely offering a suggestion, which turned out to be a great one considering how amazing it appears now.”

Winston laughed as you checked the audience once more. You recognized some of the faces in the room, and you couldn’t help but think if there was a possibility that he was here tonight.

“He’s checked-in for two days. I reminded him that you’re performing this evening,” Winston stated as if he had heard your thoughts.

You sighed deeply. “Is he coming?”

“He didn’t say,” Winston answered, and you heard the disappointment in his voice. “But that shouldn’t stop you from giving the crowd an outstanding performance. It’s been years, and I thought you had moved on?”

“I did,” you responded. It was a lie, and Winston could tell. Fortunately, he didn’t push any further.

“Okay, then. So, you know the drill— I’ll do a little spiel about you, and the curtains will go up. The band’s ready to play your songs for tonight. After an hour, you’re free to mingle around or return to your room.”

You smiled and nodded at Winston, who wished you good luck before he stepped on stage. As your nerves settled, you closed your eyes, and immediately, you were brought back to the last time you were here. You vividly recalled the sights and the sounds, the smell of cigarette smoke and expensive perfume, the standing ovation you received, and then…

John.

The last time you were here was the last time you saw John. You had met him at the end of one of your first shows, and after sharing a couple of drinks, you woke up in his bed the next morning.

Initially, you had thought it would only be a one-time thing, but you were surprised to see him sitting close by the stage, watching you perform the following night.

It became a regular occurrence between you and John— sleeping together whenever he was staying at the hotel. For three years, the two of you had a relationship that existed solely within the walls of the Continental. It wasn’t a secret that you yearned for something more, but the two of you had very different lives.

Despite being exposed to this world at a young age, your father made sure you were never a part of it. As a result, you had a fairly normal life. Meanwhile, John’s life was the only one he ever knew, and it would have been impossible for him to walk away from it.

So, when you told John about leaving for Europe, he didn’t hesitate to let you go.

Even though you had found success abroad, you knew that something in your heart was missing. You tried to find it through several relationships, and you had always wondered why they were all short-lived.

The reason for the emptiness didn’t dawn on you until much later on, and it has haunted you ever since.

The lights dimmed down, and slowly the curtains rose, revealing the crowd. You graced the stage as the bright spotlight focused on you, causing the many faces in the room to get lost in the background.

The piano started to play, and you lifted the microphone up to your mouth. Then, you began singing the lyrics…

I saw you last night and got that old feeling

When you came in sight I got that old feeling

The moment that you danced by I felt a thrill

And when you caught my eye my heart stood still...

When you reached the second verse, your eyes caught a man entering the bar and sauntering towards the stage. He chose to sit by the wall across from you, the shadows obscuring the features on his face. As you continued the song, you could feel his intense gaze on you the entire time.

Once again I seemed to feel that old yearning

And I knew the spark of love was still burning

There’ll be no new romance for me, it’s foolish to start...

You didn’t want to think that it was John, but judging by his silhouette, it had to be him. There was a moment when you belted out a big note, and the lights on the stage lit up the audience watching you.

For a split-second, you swore that you caught a glimpse of John’s face just before it went dark again.

For that old feeling, is still in my heart

There’ll be no new romance for me, it’s foolish to start

For that old feeling, is still in my heart…

The song ended, and the guests stood on their feet, applauding. You smiled, taking a bow as the lights inside the room turned back on again, and almost immediately, your eyes darted to where you thought you had seen John.

Much to your disappointment, the table was empty, and you eventually chalked it off as your mind playing cruel tricks on you.

You finished your setlist in an hour. By the end of it, you were tired, and your throat was dry. Instead of reaching for a bottle of water, you headed to the bar area and requested your choice of poison. As you waited for your drink, people came up to compliment you on your vocals, but none of them were John.

The band played music in the background as the night continued to unfold. You were seated by the counter, absentmindedly stirring the watery drink in your hand as the buzz finally kicked in. You were just about to retreat back to your room when a man took the vacant seat beside yours, and you heard his voice.

“You were wonderful up there,” John spoke, his eyes glued to yours.

You couldn’t find the right words to express how you were feeling now. All that came out was the quiet whisper of John’s name and saying it out loud made you remember how long it truly has been since it left your lips.

John took a swig of his bourbon before calling the bartender over and having her refill your glass. You mumbled thanks as you downed nearly all of the drink in one go. You could feel your heart pounding wildly inside of your chest, and you didn’t know what to do.

“You look beautiful as always,” he added, his words filling up the silence that hung over the air. “I’m assuming Europe has treated you well.”

“Yeah,” you breathed out. “It was great, but I belong here in New York. It’s home.”

John smiled as you studied his face under the lowlights of the bar. The years of fighting had caught up to him, but he was even more handsome now than before. You didn’t mind the lines and the wrinkles that were new to you. What you loved most about him were his mahogany eyes. They used to be so alluring, so mysterious yet so warm and inviting.

And they still were, only this time, they were... weary.

“I know it’s been a while,” John began as he turned his body towards you. His hands carefully reached over to grasp yours, and you let him hold you. “I’ve missed you.”

“Me, too,” you responded as your eyes drifted down to your joined hands. “John, when I left all those years ago— I wanted to stay. Why did you let me go?”

John remained silent, but you could see that he was trying to come up with an explanation. The alcohol in your system unearthed the many questions you spent so long hoping you would get answers for. He knew how you felt about him, and when he didn’t even bother asking you to rethink your decision of leaving, it broke you.

“I love you,” you said softly. “I wanted to be with you, and you pushed me away.”

You saw him swallow thickly as his gaze locked with yours. “We just can’t be.”

“How do you know?” You questioned him. “We’ve only seen each other in this hotel for a couple nights a week, but those nights are something I could never compare with others. I thought taking up residency in Europe would help me get over you, but it only made it worse as time went on.”

“Why would you want to stay with me?” John asked you sincerely. “You’re able to live a normal life. You don’t deal with this world the way I do. The things that I have done are horrific and unforgivable. You deserved better.”

You suddenly stood up from your seat but couldn’t bring your feet to move. “I don’t care, John. Your job doesn’t change the fact that I still love you. I love you because you’re much more than the monster you think you are.”

“We can’t,” John uttered dejectedly.

Shutting your eyes, you tried to stop the tears from falling but failed. “I don’t understand your reason for being here right now. You come here only to push me away further because you think you don’t deserve happiness .”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“What? Get me upset? You have some nerve to show up and tell me what you think I deserve,” you notice John reaching out for you once again, but you slapped his hand away. The hurt on his face at that second was something you would never forget. “You shouldn’t have come. I thought you cared for me, but at least I now know that I was wrong.”

Before John could stop you, you had already stormed off and gone to the elevators. Once the doors shut, you began sobbing quietly. A part of you had hoped that he was there to ask if you two could pick up from where your relationship had left off. You now felt foolish for even thinking of it.

When the elevator reached your floor, you headed straight inside your room and informed Winston that you would be leaving tonight. You were supposed to stay for three more nights, but you couldn’t bear being in the hotel where everything reminded you of John.

After a change of clothes, and packing up your belongings, you went down to the lobby. Just as you were about to step out of the building, you heard your name being called from behind. You turned around and saw John rushing towards you.

“Don’t leave,” John pleaded, slightly out of breath. “You’re right, I don’t know what you deserve. But what I do know is that I’m not making the same mistake of letting you go again.”

“John—”

He placed his hands on the sides of your face, causing you to drop your luggage on the ground. “Seeing you tonight, I was reminded of all those times we spent together. Those times with you are the best I’ve ever had, and I want to have more.”

John pressed his forehead to yours as you melted underneath his touch. A few tears escaped your eyes, and he instantly wiped them away using the edge of his thumb.

“I love you,” he confessed, catching you by surprise. “Throughout your performance, that was all I could ever think about. I promised myself that the next time I see you, I would just go ahead and say it. I never told you this before because I wanted to make parting from you easier.”

You looked up with a tearful gaze. “Did it? Did it make it any easier?”

“No,” John shook his head. “I regretted letting you go from the moment you walked out of my room. I didn’t mean to let you go, and for that I’m sorry. Earlier, I panicked when you said you loved me, and I started pushing you away. But I’m done running away from a chance at happiness. I can’t lose you, not again. Can we just please start over?”

Moments later, you had yet to give him an answer. You thought about it and came to the conclusion that despite the long years that had passed, you never stopped loving John. You knew for a while that he was it— your missing piece.

Instead of using your words, you leaned in and kissed John on his lips. His arms slowly dropped down to your waist, pulling your body closer as you deepened the kiss. Your hands wound around his neck, your fingers gently playing with the hair at his nape as he continued kissing you senselessly.

Eventually, John stepped backwards, smiling widely and lovingly at you. “Are you hungry? We could have a late dinner?”

Left breathless, you gave him a nod, but then you realized what time it was. “John, it’s way past midnight. Where are we going to eat?”

An idea popped into John’s head, and he reached down to carry your bags. “We can go to my place, and I can cook for you? Or we can check if room service is still available?”

You shook your head as you slipped your hand into John’s. “No offense to Winston and his staff, but I am tired of ordering room service from here. All this traveling has made me crave a home-cooked meal. Besides, I think it’s about time you and I spend a night outside of this hotel.”

“Agreed.”

Stealing another kiss from you, John then escorted you down the steps leading to the sidewalk before calling over a cab. After putting your luggage in the trunk, he held the door for you and climbed in once you were settled inside. He gave the driver his address, and the car soon pulled out onto the street.

You sat with John in the backseat in peaceful silence. Gazing up, you smiled at him before glancing at the world passing through the windows. For the first time, you two left the walls of the Continental together.

It felt so good to be with John again, and as he wrapped his arm around you, pressing his lips on top of your head, you realized that you were finally complete.

[obsidianfr3sk]

Rise of the Renegades (Chapter 1)

Summary:  Heroes come from the most unexpected places. Heroes sometimes feel a little too different, a little too scared, a little too alone. But heroes also know when enough is enough, and that before saving the world, they need to save themselves. And they cannot do it alone. 

They were going to be the hope of the world. They were going to call themselves the Renegades. Even if they didn't know it yet.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26246812/chapters/63886654

I needed to posted this now or I would never do it:))) what did y’all say? “this bitch won’t write again”???? surprise!!! sucks to be you, rules to be me (?)

for those who don’t know, this is a direct continuation from my other fic The Origins, so if you’re interested on this one, you should read the other first! But if your a freaking punk... then, welcome to my fic (?) it’s going to be all about the first year of the OG renegades as superheros, how they became friends, and that stuff. Maybe Ace will make an important appearance, idk, everything can happen. I hope you like it as much as you liked the last one c: 

Tag list: @nodrianbcyes @healing-winston-pratt @alecjamesartino @blueraspberry-official @novas-tunnel-of-anxiety @magykaldealings @jacihayle

The Lost Voice

Age of Anarchy

Year 10. Month 10

Kick me under the table all you want,

I won’t shut up.

Simon

It was quarter past eight when their father told Simon and Sophie dinner was served. His sister had her nose stuck in a gothic novel that used language too complex for an eight-year-old girl to understand, and his father sipped his dark coffee, looking through yesterday's newspaper. Simon pretended to be reading the first volume of The Scarlet Enchantress and the Phantom Feline for the eighth time, but really, he was completely absorbed in his thoughts.

He had never hated dinners at his house as much as he did at that moment.

The worst thing is that it had not always been this way. He was still able to remember the controversial topics Laura brought up at the table. “Dad, what do you think about what the mayor did today?” “Mom, did you hear about yesterday's protest?” “What are we going to do about Ace Anarchy?”

His mother almost always agreed with Laura's opinion. His father, on the other hand, made jokes that were inappropriate for the situation. Even his youngest sister participated, while in her mother's womb. Simon joked that when she was born, she would be as “loud and annoying” as Laura. His parents burst out laughing and Laura gave him a bad look.

“Don't call me loud and annoying, Simon,” his older sister scolded. “I am the only ray of light in the midst of anarchy.”

She may have been joking. But for him, she was a ray of light in his life.

All the light left their house along with them. Mom died giving birth to her third daughter after she started bleeding out and there was no time to get to a hospital. Laura said that she had never seen her father cry like that day. All he said was, “Gabriela, oh, Gabriela, my love, please wake up.”

She didn't wake up and he never laughed again.

Laura. His older sister was stocky, with curly hair and olive skin like his. She had a smile that could please even the saddest of hearts.

The light in the midst of anarchy.

What the hell had happened to Laura?

What the hell had happened to Simon?

But most of all, what the hell had happened to their dinners?

Not that he wasn't used to it. In fact, he was so used to dining in silence that when Hugh invited him over to his house for lunch, the fact that he and his aunt kept talking and asking him questions struck him as strange. 

So much light inhibited him.

He learned (a little the hard way) to appreciate silence.

However, now all he wanted was for someone to speak. Someone saying something to get him out of his thoughts for good. No matter what kind of conversation it was, Simon was willing to talk about the fucking weather as long as he didn't keep asking himself the same question over and over.

“But what if we did?”

Both of them. Beat Ace Anarchy.

Please.

And yes, it was ridiculous. Simon had even laughed and told Hugh to stop being an idiot, believing that the conversation would end there. But Hugh spent the rest of the afternoon talking about it, so convinced, so sure of his words, that Simon began to hear inside his head a voice that he thought he had lost a long time ago.

But what if you joked during dinner again?

But what if you gave your opinion when the teachers ask you to?

But what if you were the light in the middle of the anarchy?

He shot a glance at Sophie. She was the complete opposite of Simon (and Laura): Sophie had pale skin and straight hair, like their father. No one would have ever believed they were siblings if it weren't for the fact that they had the same dark eyes.

He wondered if she had that voice inside her head. Probably she did. She was a kid. Kids used to be more gullible about that kind of thing, right?

Perhaps it was a voice that you lost over the years.

Although he doubted Hugh had lost his voice. Simon would be jealous of him if it weren't for the fact that the voice was way too annoying.

He had to shut it up somehow.

Simon took a deep breath.

Then, for the first time in eight years, he spoke to his father during dinner.

“Dad, do you think I could defeat Ace Anarchy?”

His father stopped reading at that point. He looked up at him as if Simon were pointing a gun at him. Sophie kicked him under the table.

He knew it immediately. He shouldn't have done that.

“Give me that comic,” his father ordered.

Simon obeyed and handed it to his father. He started flipping through the pages frantically, looking for a single mention of Ace Anarchy in it, like he did with all the comics Simon brought home.

He didn't know how to feel about it. By this time in his life, John Westwood should know that Simon always read the same comics, which had been previously authorized by him. There was no “propaganda” in them. But, of course, it wasn’t like his father paid attention to him. (That, and that Simon never read the last volume in front of him, in which Ace Anarchy was the main villain. If his father saw it, he would go crazy.)

The man wouldn't even let him read superhero comics until a few years ago. Laura used to be a superhero fan, but when she died, his dad carried all her and his mother's things up to the little attic they had. His father wouldn't let him get close to them for any reason. He assured him that comics were full of dangerous propaganda, that they would put ideas into his head, and that they were boring and predictable stories anyway.

Although he believed him, he couldn't help picking up a copy of Wonder Man from a counter the first time he and Hugh broke into a store. Simon thought he was going to be happy. He knew how much his friend liked superheroes. However, it was the opposite of that. Hugh was very nervous and told him that they had to return it and apologize to the owner. But they couldn't return without having to confess their other crimes as well.

Simon could barely keep standing, and although Hugh didn't want to accept it, he couldn't continue for long either. Their families were also starving. 

They needed that food.

In the end, they decided to keep it. They read it that same afternoon, in Simon’s basement, while eating a pack of rancid cookies. For some reason beyond his understanding, Hugh told his aunt what they had done and she, instead of getting angry, told him that he would give him a little money every two weeks to buy a new comic.

“Now we can buy our own comics, Simon!” he exclaimed.

And that was great, but Simon couldn't help but wonder if perhaps Miss Everhart needed to improve her parenting methods.

Simon kept his hobby a secret, even when his father gave him an old copy of Wonder Man because he considered that “he was mature enough to read it”. Ironically, it was the same number that he had stolen years ago. He didn't have the heart to tell him he had already read it, and he didn't like it that much.

His father gave him back his comic with a sigh. “Where did you get the idea that you could beat Ace Anarchy?” he asked.

Sophie looked at him curiously. She kicked him under the table again, as if to say,  "Come on, tell us."

Of course, Simon wasn't going to tell his father that Hugh was the one who came up with the idea. He already didn’t like him. But he wasn't going to lie and say it was his idea, either.

“It was just— curiosity.” And he felt his body turn slightly translucent with embarrassment.

His father's expression softened. “What a peculiar curiosity you have, son.”

Simon just shrugged.

His sister's eyes gleamed peculiarly. Oh no.

“Dad,” Sophie called.

He kicked her under the table. Sophie didn't flinch and kicked him harder. It hurt Simon so much that he couldn't stop her before she asked, “How were things before anarchy?”

John tensed. And instinctively, Simon too.

Sophie was so young. She was the same age Simon was when Laura died. Back then, he didn't understand how things worked in that house, but now he did.

Linda Sophia, we don't talk about dead people in this house.

“We don't focus on the past, Sophie,” their father replied, squeezing the bridge of her nose affectionately, “it ruins our future—” he fixed his gaze on Simon— “because it distracts us from the present.”

Sophie pulled away, pretending to be upset about being treated like a little girl.

He wished he hadn't said anything. The first thing they said in eight years and it was stupid. He had completely ruined dinner.

Oh, but the voice was so loud. Simon was silent, but in his head, all he heard were screams of despair. There is no future, John! The past has ruined it! The present sucks! That is the problem!

Someone has to do something!

“Now go to sleep,” he ordered, picking up her plate. “Tomorrow is Monday and you have to go to school. Have nice dreams.”

“Dreams are for the weak.”

His father rolled his eyes and smiled at her. “Rest, vampire. You too, Simon.”

Sophie ran out of the dining room to the bathroom. Simon and she always fought about who was going to use it first when they were getting ready to sleep, but he didn't care at that moment. He had to do something first.

With translucent hands, he helped pick up the rest of the dishes. He put them in the sink and took the sponge to wash them. His father pushed him away without violence and whispered that he would take care of it.

That only made him feel worse.

“Sorry, Dad,” he whispered. “It was a dumb question.”

His father did not respond immediately. Every second of his silence was a second that the voice had to get louder and louder. There's no future! There's no future! There's no future!

“Don't worry, son,” he told him. “Seriously, no problem. Go to sleep.”

When he entered the room, his sister was under her covers on the top bunk, reading by flashlight and wearing a lacy nightgown that made her feel like “an evil queen”. She poked her head out from under the covers to see him enter and hissed at him. Was it a greeting? Was it a threat?

Who knows.

He got in his pajamas.

How did Sophie imagine the future?

There's no future! There's no future! There's no future!

On the wall, Simon had a picture of his mother sitting on a park bench, wearing a pink scarf. A five-year-old Laura was on her lap, eating a caramel apple with astonishing ferocity. He wished he had a more recent photo, but that was the only one he could save from when his father removed any remaining traces of his wife and daughter in the house.

How had they imagined the future?

He lay down on his bed and stared at the photo, feeling sleepy.

There's no future! There's no future! There's no future!

How did he envision the future?

It horrified him to realize that he had never asked himself that.

Someone has to do something!

Maybe someone should do something. But he knew that someone would not be Simon Westwood.

The voice insisted once more.

But what if you would?