#I was shown the Bumblebee movie as I was just starting to get into Transformers and only really cared about the big robots and not humans

[48787]

DIE AUTOBOTS!!!

Thank you, @thanook, unlike some of my other warriors, you never fail me!

[bluebird-the-seeker]

Let’s Talk about Rise of the Beasts!

So I just finished watching Rise of the Beasts in theatres, and here are some things I noticed:

Optimus acknowledges Bumblebee’s relationship with Charlie from the Bumblebee movie, confirming that the two movies take place in the same universe and that ROTB, while not exactly being a sequel, is a continuation of that universe.

Scourge’s badges display various Autobot badges, Decepticon badges, Predacon, and maximal badges. This confirms the existence of all these factions within the established universe and sets up potential new characters such as Blackarachnia or Dinobot.

Scourge mentions “Primus would be ashamed” when he discovers that Optimus is a Prime, introducing the cybertronian religious aspects we usually only hear about in the comics or in TV shows, such as the lineage of Primes or the original 13 and their connection with Primus.

I didn’t think Pablo could get any worse from the promo art and yet somehow he got way worse the moment he started talking and I’m glad he wasn’t in the movie all that much.

I still wish we could’ve seen the bot modes of the Maximals, we only see them transform in battle and it’s not very clear what they look like. Airazor didn’t transform at all.

The ending of the movie not only sets us up for a sequel, but an entire new continuity and expanded universe. Plus with the introduction of G.I. Joe, one of many references to things we really only see in the comics, there’s a possibility for things like Skywarp’s involvement with G.I. Joe, Marissa Fairborne, Thundercracker, etc.

The G.I. Joe operative that Noah speaks with mentions that they’re “in the middle of a war”. This can be connected back to the Bumblebee movie and the arrival of Decepticons on earth, and could potentially set us up with the main Decepticon/Autobot war in a next film.

They wrote Optimus so well and I love that it shows Optimus building trust with humans instead of having that trust already be established. Very refreshing. His dynamic with Primal was wonderful.

Mirage being able to turn into a suit that Noah can wear is something I personally don’t think has ever been shown in Transformers before in any media or comics? I could be wrong but it’s definitely very very rare if not a completely new concept.

Using Arrival to Earth for the last epic moments was a punch to the gut like wow my feels. And I don’t even like the bayverse movies.

I love how they gave a legitimate reason why Scourge was so powerful instead of just going “oh he’s just really strong and hard to kill” but no Unicron buffed the hell out him.

When Araizor was being taken over by Scourge I gasped and whispered “rust plague” cause if you know you know that disease is a bitch.

Finally humans I can actually tolerate in a Transformers movie.

There’s a lot of potential for this new cinematic universe (I hope)! They left it very open ended and allowed space for all sorts of stuff both from the Comics, the other live action movies, and even the TV shows in terms of references and characters and even plot lines. It’s a perfect grab bag of various Transformers media wrapped nicely with a bow for both new Transformers viewers and old ones.

THEY FINALLY LET BUMBLEBEE SWEAR-

[toaarcan]

One of my favourite Transformers-related videos on the Internet is Empire Wreckers' 40 minute-long Bayverse analysis where they ultimately conclude that the Bayverse is a version of the setting where the Autobots are evil, the Decepticons are, if not good, then at least better, Megatron, Sentinel, and the Fallen were collaborating on a plan to kill Unicron, and the Decepticons' disdain for humanity is ultimately justified as we're literally the flies on giant robot space Satan's mechanical asshole.

The movies are full of plotholes. The Autobots first arrived in 2007, except no they didn't, they were here before, and also they were involved with multiple human wars, and actually they seem to have been fighting on opposite sides (Optimus is depicted with the British Empire, while Ironhide and Hound are shown fighting with their American and French enemies), that's fucking weird... except pretty much everything we're told about the Cybertronians' history with Earth is told to us by Optimus... who could easily be lying.

Optimus tells us something, and then another movie comes along and reveals that what he told us wasn't true.

The Autobots and Decepticons arrive here, and while the Decepticons retain their freakish, monstrous appearances, the Autobots style themselves as hideous metal caricatures of us. We see the Autobots in protoform in the first movie, they don't start looking like us.

And then there are the alternate modes. The Autobots turn themselves into gleaming, flashy, status symbol cars. Optimus makes himself into a big truck but he only ever pulls a trailer two or three times in the entire saga, and his trailer is mostly just a storage rack for all his extra guns and other various weapons.

Meanwhile, the Decepticons choose modes that are fit for the task. They need to excavate or salvage something? Construction vehicles. Military strike? Military vehicles. Detective work? Cop car. When Megatron finally takes an Earth mode in the third movie, he turns into a tanker truck, and what's he actually doing in that movie? Feeding Decepticon children. He's literally bringing food to his kids. The only time we see a Decepticon turn into a douchey sports car, it's because Soundwave is working alongside a douchey rich guy with a collection of douchey sports cars.

The Autobots are also hyper-violent assholes. Skids and Mudflap are constantly starting fights with each other. When Optimus isn't around, Bumblebee, Crosshairs, and Drift are at each other's throats immediately. And when they actually fight their enemies, they dispatch them in the most horrifically brutal ways possible. Optimus' penchant for mutilating faces is a meme, but he's not the only one performing Mortal Kombat fatalities on everyone he fights. Bumblebee gets in on the action too, ripping Rampage's arms off, tearing Ravage's spine out, and punching his arm cannon through Soundwave's torso before blowing his head off.

By contrast, when the Decepticons go for killshots, they prefer to simply shoot their targets in the spark. They also take prisoners, which the Autobots don't, and pretty much all of them are loyal to Megatron. Even frequent backstabbers like Starscream and Shockwave are pretty much entirely loyal- Starscream's biggest act of treachery is to... retreat when the battle is lost in the first movie. That's it.

There's a lot more to this video than just this, I highly recommend watching it.

[skelemoonz]

been lovin the transformers art!! Rly inspired designs. I’ve been a recent fan to it all, started w g1, beast wars and now onto animated - and loved the secondary media too like comics and games. but anyways, super curious - are you pro human characters, and if so who’s your fav?? (Can count the cavemen from beast wars lol)

Thank you! And yes I am ok with humans being in transformers, I quite like the idea actually. Just the humans befriending aliens or something alike trope is great to me, very cute, I love the bonding moments, the human teaching the transformer about Earth and vice versa

However, I do not like when the human included.. is a child. Because like..why is a kid being involved? Yes sometimes a kid being there is fine, like Cody Burns in Rescue Bots, amazingly done, but a lot of the time it’s not sadly.

Like in Tfp, yes it may have started out..ok..but it quickly turned into..well..not the best, as in Optimus sending a CHILD to another planet to restore his (Optimus’) memory?? Said child almost getting killed by an Insecticon AND Megatron in the process..like..Optimus why?

Cybertron/Galaxy Force had a similar issue, started good but got worse as the show continued, like Optimus and all the others were very opposed to these kids getting involved, they were really only there to bond with, help teach the bots about Earth, and help locate the omega lock, and they made that VERY clear- As shown in this funny clip

But then everything changed when Coby went to the Speed Planet 😔💔

Or Armada? Worst one by far imo, why are these kids being involved? Y’know how easily they can be squished? STOP IT- stop treating them like they’re some HUGE help when most of the time they just stand around yapping,, I can’t say anything about Energon cause I couldn’t watch it because Kicker (main human character) annoyed the shit out of me so I stopped after episode 2, but from clips I’ve seen, same issue..is he a kid? I think so

Animated had a similar issue I think…I can’t remember…Sori is there so ima assume, from what I remember I don’t think it was that bad tho, good watch

ANYWAY- all this to say, humans being involved is great! It’s just kids being there that can be a bit of an issue. Kids can be there, I understand it’s for the younger audience, but don’t treat the CHILD like they’re some huge help and one of the most important ones there when they aren’t, do stuff like they’re there because..idfk one of the bots adopted them, THATS THEIR KID!! THEY WILL PROTECT THEIR KID!!! Like how that was done in Tf Victory from what I can see didn’t know Starsaber had a kid

Or idk, use Rescue Bots, or surprisingly RID15 as reference, the kids aren’t getting involved, but they’re there, friends of the bots and maybe helping them better understand Earth! But not getting involved in a war. They may be defiant at times (Russell) but they still don’t really get involved

OK RAMBLE DONE SORRY UHHhh- favorite human? Hmmm..I’d have to say the human ancestors in Beast Wars- I’m joking, it’s 3 humans, Charlie from the Bumblebee movie, and Noah an Elena from ROTB, very well done characters 😼👍

[retreiverrey]

Probably a hot take???

People are probably going to hate this and disagree with this, but this is just a random thought that came to mind I've had for a while.

This is probably a hot take in this fandom, but I really think that the Michael Bay Transformers designs and their design philosophies (from 2007 - ROTF and maybe DOTM, at least) really aren't bad. I think they're pretty solid designs. BUT-

One of the most common complaints about them is being "too complicated"/"overdesigned". That is kind of fair ima be real, I can see where they're coming from.

I've been hearing criticism like this a lot recently too. And I've been thinking on it as well. And that made me realize that the Bayverse designs are solid designs (in my opinion, at least), but the over complicatedness is what holds them back, according to mixed opinions from what I've seen in the fanbase, and that the Bay designs work a LOT better when more simplified and stylized looking, but still keeping the original idea and charm the Bay designs have.

I think Bumblebee's design in Bumblebee movie and Rise of The Beasts is a VERY great example of this which I'll be using

It's very obvious that Bayverse Bee is the blueprint for his Bumblebee movie design. And his ROTB design is literally just his 1977 Camaro design from the 2007 movie (from when Bumblebee was possibly going to be a prequel to the Bay films???)

Not sure if anyone else share these feelings with me, but I honestly love the Rise of The Beasts Bee design. It really does show my point of the ideas and design philosophies behind the Bayverse designs are solid, but again just need to be simplified and stylized a bit, but still keep the realism and believability and general charm the Bay designs have to be even more solid.

Heck, 2D/cartoony art styles seen in fanart even proves my point further as well. Y'all see what I'm getting at here?

It honestly makes me curious how any other Bayformers design would look in the style of the Bumblebee movie. I honestly really wanna see how Bayverse Optimus would look like this. I think his design could gain and improve the most being "Bumblebee-ified" in this fashion honestly.

Now, this could start discussions about the designs. It could start up the whole generic "g1 vs movies" debate and the designs "not being g1" or whatever. It could start up a lot more things that are even more subjective and opinionated than what I'm saying here. But, that is not what this post is about. And I'd rather keep that away from here, because that is not the point of what I'm saying.

My point is about the Bayverse designs themselves and how the designs themselves are IMO good, but can be improved and just need as I keep saying to just be simplified and stylized a bit but still keep the realism and believability the designs have, which is exactly what Rise of The Beasts Bumblebee does compared to Bayverse Bumblebee as an example I've shown here.

But you know what, all I am saying is (very obviously) subjective and my opinion as I keep stating. Maybe I'm just the only one who has these thoughts and notice these things? Like the designs or not? good for you. Like the designs they way they are already? Good for you again, I do too as well. Like the more G1/G1-esque designs better? Good for you as well. We all have our opinions and preferences when it comes to stuff like this lol. All I ask is for this fandom to acknowledge that and be more civil when discussing things like this. But, I digress.

These are just thoughts I've had for a while that I thought would be interesting to share lol

[zehecatl]

2024 media thread PART SEPTEMBER

13th September: Transformers Earthspark s1

god damn, this really is just an overall banger- both as a Transformers show, and as a show on its own merits. surprisingly well-written, really well animated and choreographed (dude, some of these fight scenes, holy shit), with engaging characters and a really solid plot. like, this is a good show

it's not without any flaws, but out of the 26 episodes, there's only two episodes where i had annoyances- and even then, i wouldn't call a single episode bad. the way they kind of compare Transformers to immigrants is, like. a choice. but it's pretty easy to overlook, especially since it barely shows up, and i don't think the ground idea is inherently bad. also, as a Transformers fan, i would like to see more of the pre-existing 'bots! i do love the Terrans, like genuinely so, but also. my babies. show them to me

i really love the theme of family, and also how the show handles the Cybertronian war, and the after-effects of said war- it pretty much feels like every pre-existing 'bot has trauma, and it doesn't feel accidental. hell, it's even outright addressed at times, and while it's still very much coming from a children's show, it's pretty well-written, and i really hope s2 gets around to touching on it even more

also, also, the way this show handles the Autobot-Decepticon relationship is so interesting, and a lot of fun. there's the obvious case of Megatron himself going 'good', and the fallout he has with numerous of the Decepticons (his divorce energy with Soundwave and Shockwave is off the charts), but there's also smaller moments, like Bumblebee knowing Brawl by name, or even just the few moments where the Decepticons are shown in a kinder light, where we get a little glimpse into why they started their cause... i really want s2 to touch on this one more, since it's probably one of the most interesting things Earthspark is doing

like, overall, i'm just a really big fan of this show? it's genuinely really fucking good, and i'm looking forward to checking s2 out at some point, especially since the fandom seems to be throwing a hissy fit about it

also it made me ship Megatron/Shockwave, and i cannot complain about that. Megatron has two loyal husbands, and he does not deserve them at all 💖

16th September: ZERO (Toume Kei)

being so honest, this is a deeply mid ass manga. like, i wouldn't exactly call it bad, and i think it could make a really fun movie, but. it's not exactly good either, lol

mainly, i read this because the main girl antagonist has such a good design. like, the art is on point for the girls, i really like the slight edge they have to it- but anyway, i really like Mao's character. she has such a seme vibe, and i kind of really fucking love with it. would kidnap her as a character and make her have a messy sapphic relationship with another girl. wish it had been about her. she could have seme'd that twink ass protag so hard, and i would have loved that

16th September: Dark Forest, White Road

the atmosphere of this one is so excellent, actually. it's very melancholic, which really matches with its winter setting, and i think this would really have thrived with a longer run time

there isn't a lot of meat here, really, but it feels like there is. the story is brimming with potential and interesting set ups, from the honestly toxic relationship between the main character and her sister, to the fleeting connection between her and the love interest; also, the way the love interest is written is interesting, because again, it feels like there's so much left unsaid, so much you could explore further

also, the art here is really gorgeous? like, it matches the atmosphere so well, and i just really like how it's drawn.. i would have consumed the shit out of multiples volumes, is all i'm saying

16th September: The Miko's Words and the Witch's Incantations

primarily read this for the art, which is absolutely gorgeous, and really up my alley- though i did end up rather liking the whole thing, even if it was a bit confusing at the start

this one has a really interesting set up, with a witch saving a miko from a shrine she's been trapped in her whole life, and the consequences that causes- i actually think this one would make a really good OVA, and that as a stand-alone volume, it actually works rather well

it's nothing super deep, but it was a pretty cute read, and i think some of the stuff that went down in the climax could make for some really interesting story beats

16th September: Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves

i'm not actually a DnD'er, and most of the information i do know about it comes second-hand, so while i did recognize some stuff (the owlbear!! the underdark!!) this really was just a rather fun fantasy movie for me

i do think they put a lot of effort into bringing the setting to life, and it was a really good movie, like i had a great time, but it's definitely more of a popcorn flick than anything else- though i would definitely love a sequel!

i do kind of wish we had gotten some actual bard action... like, i don't know how exactly it's supposed to work in-game, but i feel like the lead was... super useless lol. like, he truly did shit

19th 26th September: Love Bullet v1

since this is only a single volume right now, i don't think there's a lot you can really say about Love Bullet, but- that's not really gonna stop me, lol

it definitely, like absolutely for real, deserves the hype it's getting. like, it's such a solid first volume, and i'm straight up gonna be heartbroken if it gets cancelled, because there is so much potential here

first of, the art is so so gorgeous, and the manga really utilizes the medium, with lots of parallel shots and framing, and just- i'm not an art person, okay, but this is some good fucking shit

secondly, while we obviously haven't known the characters for very long, and we haven't seen much of Ena especially, just from what little we've seen, and the designs themselves, it's obvious these are well thought out, and well-written, characters. like, i'm genuinely so excited to see more of all of them, because they're already so dynamic and fun, and i really like seeing them interact with each other

also, also! there seems to be some really good layers, here. there's mysteries already being sown, not just with the relationship between characters (Kanna and Chiyo? 👀) but also for the actual cupid system in general. like, the whole 'losing' the hiragani and kanji in the names is interesting, and i think there's for sure some stuff going on in the background that we don't know about yet, and it makes me so excited to learn more about this world

also! i just! really like the action!!! it's so well done, and i love how much detail the mangaka has given to everything (they use different martial arts!!!! the guns!!! it's so fun!!) and i'm just- i'm so very charmed by this manga, and i really really really want it to get super huge and big, so we can get an anime and maybe an english release, and just.. this has so much potential

as a yuri, there's not a lot going on so far, but what we have is, so far, really good. i definitely think we're going to get more, and i definitely think said more will be really fucking tasty, because it feels like this mangaka knows what she's doing, and i think she is going to feed us so fucking good

basically, i just. really like Lovet Bullet so far. and i really hope we get more... please... more cute girls

26th September: Reverie in a Deserted Bus

it's a cute little tragedy with some nice art, and a fun set up. i've actually been meaning to read this one for yeaars, all primarily because i really like the set up of an abandoned bus...

26th September: Damdam!!

THE FACT THAT THIS ONE IS ONLY A ONESHOT SADDENS ME SO MUCH, BECAUSE THE POTENTIAL HERE IS UNREAL...

it's basically a dark action yuri, wherein our two protagonists is part of a super special secret force that specializes in killing monsters. also they're both high school children. because of course

i really really love the set up here, like i'm just a huge fan of monster killing and yuri action, and this one nails it so good. the monster design is excellent, and the art really works for the type of story this is, and also the yuri, while not the focus, is so toxic and fucked, i fucking adore it. and while we obviously don't get a lot of the characters, i did really like them... one of them is super rude and brusque, and calls her partner bitch, and the other is just absolutely in love with her, and is delighted by her very presence, and i just. i wanted more. so bad

26th September: Efude to Kuro Kinu

this one has a pretty good build up, and while i don't think the lack of actual yuri is a failure, i did kind of want more actual yuri...

but! the toxicity is pretty tasty, and the art really works for the story, and i actually really liked the ending. also we just love to see older women in yuri <3

29th September: Wavetale

a genuinely really excellent little gem of a game, that's also a throwback to the 3D platformers of the PS2 era. which i am a huge fan of, like really huge, so of course i was going to love this game

which i do! especially because it's greatest strength isn't actually the platforming (which, being honest, isn't super deep or complex) but the story! which is really good!!!

it's a very ghibli-esque story, set in a post-war/post-apocalyptic world, wherein the whole world is more or less covered in water- which the game lets you surf around on, by the way, and it's great fun- and also the dark mysterious ~gloom~ that fucks you up, and all has basically more or less ruined most of the world. like. the protagonist doesn't even know what apples are. it's banging

it's one of those stories about grief and war and a bit o' environmentalism messaging, which, again- very ghibli! and, like ghibli, it keeps a more light tone, even when it properly addressed said themes, which is obviously helped along by the (very nice) more cartoony visuals

like, i could see this as a ghibli movie. i really good

anyway! as a game, it's definitely not super complex or deep- the combat is very easy, the platforming is easy (but nice. i liked doing it :3), there's no real puzzle elements, etc etc. i do think the surfing mechanic is very fun, but, again- not very deep. but! i think that's okay!! sometimes a game is a vehicle to tell a story, and the gameplay is there to help the narrative flow, or even just underline it- as much as i think the combat is a bit superfluous, it helps with the narrative flow, and so i can't really fault its existence

it's a good game. not very long, but i really liked it, and its story, and its characters. it feels like a work of love and passion, and i always love to see that :]

29th September: Transformers One

so every Transformers fans have already say that this movie is really good, so i'm not coming with any new take, here, when i say, oh my god. this movie was really frickin' good

like. it is SO GOOD. and just- seeing Transformers, animated, on the big screen- it feels so huge. monumental. for so long we have eaten the live action scraps, and now it's animated and it's good, and it's about THEM, and we see CYBERTRON, AND JUST. AAAAAAAAAAAA. IT'S SO GOOD. IT'S SO FRICKIN' GOOD I COULD COMBUST ABOUT IT

(also i will now engage in spoiler talk. if you have not seen the movie, go see it. right now. seriously)

putting aside the sheer fucking hype of this movie even existing, i also think it's the perfect 'starting point' for a possible new 'generation' of Transformers. going into the backstory of Optimus and Megatron is not just fun, but also a really good way to set the stage for (possible) future movies. also, man, it's just. it's so good. i loved seeing the divorce happen on-screen, the way they did Megatron's turn to evil was so good, and while it's obviously a bit- not really rushed, but this is a movie, and we got a time constraint here, it just feels good. the scene with him and the High Guard where he nearly kills Starscream, ough, it's so fucking good. Starscream goading him on and then eventually cowering, like yessss, start off your future toxic gayship properly, i love you <3

ALSO SHOCKWAVE. SHOCKWAVE. I LOVE YOU. I ADORE YOU. LITERALLY NEARLY GIGGLED OUT LOUD WHEN HE SHOWED UP, HE'S MY FUNNY LITTLE MAN <3 <3

also, can i just say- i love Elita? i love Elita so much??? she should, by all account, fall into the 'strong female character' archtype, but, at least to me, she doesn't. she has the trappings of it, but she just- she doesn't feel forced, she doesn't feel badly written, she feels as at home as everyone else, and i love her SO much. her relationship with Optimus is really fun, and also i think she should kiss Shockwave (what. who said that)

also i was rather hesitant about Bee at first, because i haaaaate when they flanderize an existing character into the comedy role, but- they make it work. guy who has been alone for literal years and cannot stop talking now due to trauma and FRIENDSHIP EXCITEMENT. he's fun. i forgive him for his crimes <3

i am, being very honest, not much of a fan of MegaOp. both as characters, and as the ship, but man. this movie did them so good. literally the MegaOp divorce movie of all time. i see what y'all are seeing, and i have to stan. friends to enemies go hard every time, and it goes hard here. like, when Megatron lets go? holy fucking shit? that was SO SICK, and just. the whole climax itself. was so frickin' good

also i love how surprisingly brutal this movie is?? and i hope if we get a sequel they turn that shit up, because it was tasty. Megatron tearing Sentinel in two, like yes baby get his ass

ough, i just. i love this movie. i need a million more. i need more focus on the Quintessons (I LOVE HOW THEY DID THEM IN THIS MOVIE. I LOVE HOW THEY'RE NOT THE FOCUS. I LOVE HOW THEY'RE A LITERAL LOOMING THREAT, AND THEY DON'T EVEN SPEAK!!) and i need the Autobot-Decepticon war, and i need to see everyone. all of them. especially more Jazz, i am so charmed by his little cameo role, like that's my baby boy!!! he is so cute!!!

(ALSO AIRACHNID WAS SO COOL??? HELLO??? HER AND SENTINEL WAS TRULY JUST ICONIC AS FUCK)

ANYWAY THE MOVIE WAS SO GOOD. I NEED THE DVD IMMEDIATELY SO I CAN REWATCH IT ON LOOP. A THOUSAND MILLION OUT OF TEN, BEST MOVIE ALL YEAR, GIVE IT ALL THE AWARDS

[factual-fantasy]

I gots 20 more asks for yalls :}

That’s so something he’d try, but of course everyone around him would stop him because duh, that’s a sure way to lose a finger. XD

Oh, I’m sorry, but due to my energy levels being through the floor, I’m not really taking requests at this time.. <:{

Happy new year to you too! I uh.. wish I could say I did heh..

Thank you! However uh.. I don’t think I’m going to be up for drawing anyone's suggestions. My energy has been completely drained lately and I have no energy to draw anything other than things I personally really want to.

I’m not usually one for live action movies, or particularly scary ones for that matter. But I’ll keep that one in mind. :}

Wh-where you goin?? I didn’t get to say I love you too!

Hi, thank you, glad to hear that you like my headcannons. :}

Although unfortunately I don’t have much to say about what I think would happen after the incident. :{

Perhaps the crew would be a little shaken after hearing about Pesos broken flipper? Injuries like that are a big deal, Peso is basically completely out of commission until he recovers. And that might stress the crew out a bit, you know, not having their medic firing on all cylinders for a while.

And I feel like Peso would have to teach some of the crew, like Kwazii and the Captain some extended first aid because no one knew what to do with his broken flipper. He would have to teach the crew first aid and some other important things because he cant always be there for them when something goes wrong.

I feel like it would bug the Captain somehow as well that Peso broke his arm. Like, he’s the Captain, how did he let this happen? Even though the situation couldn’t be helped, I feel like he’d still feel guilty over it all somehow.

Kwazii would probably hover around Peso a lot too. He’d be so worried for his little buddy and would want to constantly check up on him. He’d probably play games with him, talk, do puzzles, whatever, just to keep the little guy company and help him feel better. Because despite how calm Peso seemed when it was first broken, I feel like it would freak him out later in. I know I would be too scared to move or even look at my arm if I broke it. Just the knowledge that the bones inside my arm are all screwed up would freak me out too much to do anything.

With Peso, I feel like he was calm because he was on a bit if an adrenalin rush, and after he calmed down I bet it really start to hurt. That could be why Kwazii spent so much time with him, he was just upset and hurting and just wanted someone to hang out with him until he got better.

A lot of artists seem to like fanart for some reason. I personally don’t..

It feels kind’a like you stole my character or idea and decided that you were going to do what ever you wanted with it. Which I know isn’t the case but that’s just how it feels.

It doesn't feel like a gift, it just feels like you stole something from me you know?

Fanart just doesn’t feel good to me, I cant understand why some artists like it. And I don’t understand why I don’t like it either, it just feels bad for some reason. Me not liking fanart is why I urge people to make sure the artist is okay with fanart before you draw something for them. <:}

Thank you, its nice to hear that you actually wanted to get all caught up heh.. Yeah I guess I started drawing a bunch of Octonauts stuff out of no where huh? When times get this low you just kind’a slink away into your comfort shows right? S’all normal.

As for going through a rough time? I sure am, we all are. I thought it was rough a few weeks ago, but now things have just come crashing down on me, and I cant even talk about it on here.

Thank you very much for all the kind words and encouragement! I really appreciate it, that’s just what I needed to hear. <:} ❤

I watched it, and man I cant wait to see what they do with that new gup! 

I was going to leave a link to the video here, but when I tried to go to the link you sent me the video had been removed..

As someone who is terrified of bees and other bugs, they better not come back.

Aww thank you! I’m very glad you like what I make! :}

I use FireAlpaca. Its a free art program that is simple enough that beginners can get the hang of digital art pretty easily, but has enough features to make some really complicated pieces. I’ve seen that you can even animate with it although I’ve never really gotten the hang of it..

Its got its weird quirks and there are a few annoying buggy things here and there that take some getting used to, but overall 8/10 would recommend. :}

Its interesting, although I don’t personally hold it as one of my headcannons, I have no issue with anyone that does. :}

Aww thank you, so far its been.. well terrible, but uh. hoping for a brighter future.. 

As for how they’d react to rain? Hmm..

I had this idea that the first time Bulkhead experienced rain he was out somewhere with Miko goofing around. It started to rain and at first Miko was just annoyed, thinking she’d have to go back to the base.

But then Bulkhead out of no where starts to flip out, he scoops up Miko, transforms and speeds away, all the while clearly having some kind of panic attack. He races to a nearby cliff and rushes into a little cave for cover. He’s rattling and is asking Miko questions like, “A-Are you okay? Did it get you?- W-We’re you burned??” Miko gets him to chill out a little and he manages explain why he’s freaking out.

Even after Miko comes out of cover and dances in the rain to show him that its safe, Bulkhead is still too frightened to go out there. He’s spent his whole life being afraid of rain because he knows that it burns you and can even kill you if you’re in it for too long.. So even though he’s being shown right before his optics that, clearly, its safe. That primal fear of rain is too much for him and he doesn’t move. 

They eventually called for a ground bridge and Bulkhead bolted through the rain and raced through it. He told the other bots about rain and how Miko claims that its safe on this planet, but that still didn’t stop them from experiencing that same primal fear when they came into contact with rain themselves.

There was supposed to be another time when Ratchet and Arcee were taking the kids home from the Base. Arcee had Jack and Ratchet had Miko and Raf.

They were almost into town when It started to trickle. Jack was surprised that it was going to rain in Jasper of all places, but he was also annoyed because he was going to get wet. But then Arcee and Ratchet both hit the brakes and freeze up. “Did you feel that?” Jacks about to ask “feel what?” when Ratchet says “Yeah, yeah I did..” Raf asked Ratchet what is wrong, but then the rain really picked up. Out of no where Ratchet starts freaking out, “RAIN!! GET TO COVER!!” Arcee and Ratchet Floor it for town. 

They rush into town and find cover in a run down gas station that’s on the edge of town. Ratchet’s alt form is literally shaking and Arcee is really freaking out. Both of their primal fears making them forget that rain is safe on this planet.

“Are you okay? Jack? Ratchet? How bad are your burns?“ Jacks just like “huh??” But Ratchet goes “I-I don’t know, I don’t feel anything yet, were you burned?” Jack tries to say something but Arcee goes, “No I don’t think so, Jack gave me cover, are you alright Jack? Were you burned?” Finally Jack gets a moment to talk and asks what the heck is going on. They explain that on their planet rain is acidic, Jack then stands in the rain to prove that its okay, but just like Bulkhead they’re still scared.

Miko gets out and jumps around in the rain to show that its safe while Raf tries to explain to them that its really only water. They’re both not convinced and stay put. Raf gets out, cups his hands together and collects some rain water. He brings the water up to Arcee and Ratchet to show them that its just water. He even drinks some of it to prove that its really okay and not acid.

This convinces Arcee and she slowly inches out into the rain, eventually managing to get into it. Although she’s still nervous, after realizing that its safe she encourages Ratchet to follow suit,

Ratchet manages to inch his way out too and they both shakily take the kids back home. They come back to base and tell everyone their story, but again, that fear of the rain cant be reasoned with right away. It takes a bot to experience it personally to help them realize that this planets rain is harmless.

With Bumblebee and Smokescreen it could’ve been just like Bulkhead. Out with one of the kids, it starts to rain, the bot panics and the kid calms them down and explains that its just water. With Optimus, I feel like a human wouldn’t have been around to explain it to him. There could have been a time where he was out on a solo mission and it began to rain.

Like every other bot, Optimus has this instinct to hide from the rain, so he does and finds cover. He contacts Ratchet and tells him the situation, Ratchet tells him that he’s been in the rain before and it shouldn’t hurt him. Optimus is still nervous but he steps out from undercover, sees that its okay and moves on without really mentioning it to anyone back at base. The very same thing could’ve happened to Ultra Magnus later on now that I think about it..

With Wheeljack? Imagine him, Bulkhead and Miko were out driving somewhere, Miko is with Bulk and Jackie is following behind them. It starts to rain and it freaks Bulkhead out a little but he’s mostly okay, Miko reminding him that its harmless. Meanwhile Jackie slams on the gas and swerves off the road into the forest. Clearly no one told him that Earths rain isn’t acidic.

Bulkhead follows him and finds him in his alt form rattling and tucked really tightly underneath a big tree. They’re trying to talk to him and get him to relax but he’s clearly stressed out. Miko climbs out, goes up to him and manages to talk him down. Explaining that Earth is different than Cybertron, and that their rain is not toxic or acidic. Its just water. He calms down enough to come out of hiding but he’s still clearly on edge. He sticks close to Bulkhead and doesn’t talk much for the rest of their trip.

I feel like all transformers, con or bot, had a freaking out over rain moment at some point. Except for soundwave probably, I think he’d feel a liquid falling on him from the sky and not react because it doesn't hurt.

“The Octonauts is a British children's television series, produced by Silvergate Media for the BBC channel CBeebies, and based on the children's books written by Vicki Wong and Michael C. Murphy.

The show follows an underwater exploring crew made up of stylized anthropomorphic animals, a team of eight adventurers who live in an undersea base, the Octopod, from which they go on undersea adventures with the help of a fleet of aquatic vehicles.

Although its technology is fictional, the exotic creatures and locations that the crew encounter are based on real marine animals in their natural habitats. The show's subject matter has been compared to that of Star Trek and Thunderbirds blended with Jacques Cousteau. The show was animated in Ireland by Brown Bag Films for its first four series. The show was renewed for a fifth series in 2018, with Canada's Mainframe Studios taking over animation work.

Two new "movies" have been available on Netflix only since October 2020: The Octonauts and the Caves of Sac Actun (which takes place in a cenote in Mexico) and Octonauts and the Great Barrier Reef (a musical)”

I feel like this quote from the Octonauts wiki does a better job of explaining it than I ever could. :}

I feel sorry for the poor thing. <:{

It was a Gup destined for greatness someday, but because of unfortunate circumstances it was converted into an artificial reef.

Its just like the old Octopod. Destined for greatness, just imagine all the adventures that ship could’ve had with the crew.. But because sea creatures got to it before they could, it was doomed to a life of darkness at the bottom of the ocean. 

I feel bad for those poor Gups and other mechs that just didn’t make it.. 😔

No I still have some bread left over, here  (╯°▽°)╯🍞 Sorry, it might be a wee bit stale.

Oh I bet he gets hurt all the time and tries to play it of a bit so he can keep running around. Usually he does something stupid and gets hurt and he’s too embarrassed to really go to Peso about it. Or sometimes the injury would seem insignificant to him or the pain is tolerable enough that he thinks it’ll just go away eventually.

Maybe Kwazii doesn’t really avoid Peso’s care on purpose? Maybe he could have a high pain tolerance? Like, imagine he does something kind’a dumb and as a result gets his arm got stick under the Gup-B or something. When he frees himself his arm does hurt a bit, but it looks fine to him so he just thinks “eh”. He figures that the Gup-B isn’t very big or heavy, his arm wasn’t stuck for very long, what could possibly be wrong with it?

He comes back to the Octopod and casually tells the Captain what happened. The Captain seeing Kwazii gritting his teeth and holding his bent out of shape arm like that instantly made him turn right around and go get Peso. Peso wants to examine his arm but Kwazii’s all like, “Nah its fine me hearty, Its probably just some bruising.”

Well, put his arm through an X-ray and turns out what do you know he broke his arm in three places.

And Kwazii’s just as surprised as everyone else that his arm is broken. He’s like, “It was only the Gub-B! Is it really heavy enough to crush my arm??” And the Captains like, “The gup was ON your arm?? Of course that can break it!”

XD I bet Kwazii gives everyone a headache.

Thank you! :} And well, its more innocent than you might think. People have wondered if they were self harm hints or something more dark like that, but really its not that at all.

You see, I’m a bit of a clean freak. I usually wash my hands up to 40 times a day, no exaggeration. I would usually wash my hands with dish soap, which really does a number on your skin.

So, washing my hands 40 times a day with dish soap, plus drawing on paper for several hours a day meant that my hands were so utterly dry that they’d bleed. My hands were always bleeding and covered in Band-Aids like 24/7.

All of this was going on around the time I made my blog and designed my little avatar character. I wanted to give my character something unique, like an accessory of some kind. Like gloves, a watch, a scarf, a bag, something. 

Then I looked at my hands and thought you know? What if this strange aspect of myself was added to my character? Its ominous, its unique, it looks cool.. I think I’ll do that.

So now my avatar has bloodied banged all over its hands. Later on down the road today I try to wash my hands a wee bit less and I lather my hands in lotion religiously now. So my hands are much better and don’t bleed anymore. But those bloodied hands are now like a trademark of my character, so I haven’t removed them,

Although with this new uh, “playful” cat I have, I suppose the Bandages now resemble my real hands once again haha.

I looked it up and I didn’t find any info saying that its common or even normal for cats to have just one baby. So its safe to assume that Kwazii must have had at least a few siblings. As to where they are or what happened to them?. Well..

The life of a pirate is a dangerous one. And I find it odd that with how often he’s mentioned his Grandfather, he’s never mentioned any siblings..

Perhaps... they’re.. you know.. dead? Kwazii’s Grandfather could be the last living member of his family. Which is why if he ever mentions his family or his pirate days, he only ever talks about his Grandpa. Maybe talking about his siblings would be too much for him?..

Man, I gotta polish that into a headcannon or something, that stuff is angsty as crap. Imagine if he was attached to the Octonauts in a way no body really understood? What if his old crew was like his mom, dad, siblings etc, and he mostly became an Octonaut because he had no where else to go after loosing them? Now that his family are all gone and his Grandpa is missing, all he has is this new crew. He would become hyper attached to his new crew and all of his care and tenderness comes from a fear of losing them just like he did his real family. 

[joleneghoul]

Disability in Transformers essay excerpt: Bumblebee and the Erasure of Disability as “Growth”

Deciding to post a section of my essay I am working on which goes into detail about how disability could be handled better in media (particularly the transformers shows or movies while also touching on the fan favorites from the comics such as The Scavengers). This section is about Bumblebee.  Under the cut bc its long.

     This leads us to Bumblebee, the perfect example of erasing a character’s disability under the disguise of character development.  Though not an original characteristic of the character, Bee’s disabilities have become a staple of his character in both comics and tv.  Narratives surrounding Bumblebee since 2007 have all included Bee having a physical disability (Mutism in tv/movies and bad legs in comics).  These disabilities are often the product of injury, and we see Bee grapple with accepting his disability along with the trauma that comes with it. 

     While brought about in the Bayverse Movies, the concept of Bee being disabled was really first fleshed out in Transformers Prime 2010-2014. Bee is introduced in the first episode as the Autobot who does not speak in anything other than beeps.  This is a stark difference from every other bot in the show who speak English like humans-- and the show does not shy away from pointing out just how different Bumblebee is.  This is called attention to immediately when Bee is introduced and Raf is the only human who can understand him. 

     This form of “speaking” is not actually making any use of his voice box because it was ripped out by Megatron during Tyger Pax. Instead Bee uses a pretty limited voice modulator. This can be assumed to be like a Cybertronian version of a Passy-Muir Valve (commonly used to help patients speak/breathe more normally attached to a tube) in some ways because it is very likely Bee’s whole throat was damaged, not just his voice box. Bee also makes use of body language (eyes, wings, other movements) in his speech to show what he’s saying even when the viewer cannot understand him. It is obvious that Bee is used to having his impairments and has learned how to navigate social interaction with them.

     That being so it is not abnormal that Bumblebee’s arc in Transformers Prime Happens to be about his disability.  In Operation Bumblebee part 1 and 2 Bee loses his t-cog, the organ that allows transformers to transform.  This means Bee loses the ability to turn into a car, use his weapons, and effectively do his job as Team Prime’s scout.       This brings forth Bee’s backstory and PTSD- Ratchet kindly explains to Raf that a field medic (himself) tried his best to help Bee, saved his life, but probably could have done better.  Simply put this arc is about Bee and Ratchets shared trauma and the thought of not being “good enough” to be a part of their team (aka their family). 

     Ratchet coincides that he is willing to give up his OWN t-cog to allow Bee to transform while Bee constantly throws himself into more dire situations to prove his worthiness to not the team- but himself and in the process he almost destroys his own t-cog trying to reclaim it.  The arc ends with Ratchet managing to save Bee’s damaged t-cog and them both regaining a sense of self-worth.

     This of course is all thrown away at the end of Transformers Prime when Bee is killed by Megatron, falls into the omega lock, and promptly comes back to life cured of all disability he ever had.  This is written as some kind of triumph scene for both him and Ratchet, but really all it does is make all their character development throughout the series devoid of any purpose.      Not to mention, this leads into TFRID15 where Bumblebee is shown as a leader. Implying that Bumblebee could not be a leader while still having a disability. Though, Prime is not the only media where Bee’s narrative is driven by his disability. 

      In the movie, Bumblebee 2018, Bee’s voice box is ripped out by Blitzwing before being dropped from a great height- causing brain damage and memory loss.  This is the starting point of Bee on Earth and Bee as a character in the movie, where we finally start to see his character develop and be fleshed out.       Bee throughout the movie learns to cope with his disabilities through forming bonds and talk therapy via radio. We also see expression through body language instead of verbal communication. We even see the equivalent of a PTSD episode when Bee lashes out at the military for hurting Charlie.      At the end Bee thanks Charlie for giving him a “voice” though he did not get his voice box repaired, instead he is actually thanking her for helping him get through the trauma and feel like himself again. Bumblebee 2018 is a pretty good example of how Bee’s disability is an important part of his character.

[afterspark-podcast]

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: Transcript

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Intro Music]

O: Welcome back to the madness of King Bay or the second live action Transformers movie, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

S: And our second anniversary episode!

O: [laughs] Yay?

S: I sounded way too perky for that.

O: [laughs] As with the first live-action film if you like Revenge of the Fallen then this may not be the episode for you.  But we'll be back soon with G1 episode 41!  So please join us then.

S: Mm, Revenge of the Fallen came out in 2009, still starring Shia LaBeouf and still directed by Michael Bay-

O: It is- [laughs] Yeah, I know, pity.  Uh, it is frequently considered the worst of the live-action films which is concerning that both Age of Extinction and The Last Knight have even lower ratings on Rotten Tomatoes.

S: That takes some doing.

O: Right!?! [laughs]

S: Uh-huh.  Technically, even Dark of the Moon has a lower audience score than this one, but a higher critic score.  So, um... make of that what you will?

O: Basically, what we're saying is until Bumblebee came out the uh, series hit its peak with its first movie [laughs]

S: Mm-hm.

O: But!  Let's get started today by talking about our initial experiences with this particular film.

S: I don't think I saw this in theaters, and I found it really unmemorable.  Uh, aside from there being a few characters that stood out that I still enjoy, but they're very few and far between.

O: Okay, so if you remember in the last- the previous [Bayverse] episode?  I didn't remember where I saw the first movie.  I remember EXACTLY when I saw this movie because I watched it in theaters for a bachelorette party.  Personally, I found the concept of watching a manly action film for a bachelorette party to be fucking hilarious, and I still do!  But I really wish it had been for a better movie. I don't remember having much of an opinion on it when I watched it, but I also didn't watch the third movie in the series until literally the last couple of years when I was blazing through a fuck ton of Transformers media.  So, I clearly didn't care enough to see the continuation in theaters or even rent or borrow it until well after had been released.

S: We begin, yet again, with narration from the one and only Peter Cullen!

O: According to our opening scene uh, you know, the last movie is not the first time that Earth had been visited by Cybertronians.

S: Ah, shocking!  We are shown some craggy mountains populated by ancient humans with spears.

O: Said ancient humans come across a huge Cybertronian installation of some sort and a bunch of Cybertronians.

S: Mm-hmm.  Ominous.  And then there's a weirdly ancient Egyptian or alien-esque Cybertronian with a staff that's apparently in charge.

O: Several humans are squished, and presumably they're all destroyed before we move on to Shanghai, China in the modern day.

S: Oh, will this be relevant?  Who knows!

O: Maybe!  Maybe!  Maybe.

S: We see the Autobots and the military guys from the last movie now working together to hunt down the remaining Decepticons.

O: The combined group is named N.E.S.T.  Short for, “Non-biological Extraterrestrial Species Treaty.”

S: Oh, that's a mouthful.

O: It is, so hence ‘N.E.S.T.’

S: Yeah.  There have been some additions to the Autobot roster.

O: Which for simplicity's sake we're going to talk about them now, because they don't really do a lot-

S: Yup.

O: -in the movie.  And they do show up (kind of) in that last section but again, very few of them even have lines.  I- I think aside from Optimus, the character with the most lines might actually be Ironhide?

S: Yeah.  Um, Sideswipe, not a lot of his personality from G1 or any other iteration for that matter is carried over in this, unfortunately.  Instead of being a Lamborghini he's apparently decided to channel Tracks and is instead a Corvette Stingray.

O: And yet, still no Sunstreaker to be found, much to my frustration.

S: Jolt, a new character who's not in the movie except at the very end and he has very few fleeting shots in between and has no lines despite his bio saying he's come to Earth to join Optimus’ group in the last two years since the first movie.  He seems to use electric whips. [makes whip noises]

O: [laughs]

S: And ah, promptly dies in the Dark of the Moon prequel comic.

O: So he never really does get to do anything.

S: Yeah.

O: So then we have Arcee, Chromia and Elita One.  They are referred to as the ‘Arcee Sisters,’ or if you want to get really confusing, the ‘Arcee Twins’!?

S: [laughs]

O: Even though there's three of them-- at some point.

S: Yeah.

O: Uh, but instead of, you know, their- them being referred to by individual names.  Apparently, they were written as one entity and while it depends somewhat on what real- related media you're looking at, the three of them are commonly portrayed as a multi-component Transformer much like Reflector.  They have very little personality, and they do very little in the movie.  Their alt modes are all motorcycles.  Arcee is pink or red, depending on the toy, Chromia is blue, and Elita One is purple.  Their robot modes sort of resemble Thrust from Beast Machines as they have no legs and function like weird sentient unicycles.

S: Yep, and then there's Skids and Mudflap.  Oh boy, where do we start with these two?  Well, uh, first, there's definitely someone out there who could have given a better breakdown on this than two random white ladies.  Uh, awkward… sorry.

O: Yeah, just in advance we are both white women, we do not know what we're talking about here from a personal perspective.

S: Yeah, so we're just going to sum it up with an extremely uh- in an extremely generalized way.  There was a lot of backlash for these two characters due to them possessing a number of racist african-american stereotype- stereotypical traits that at worst point to the people involved being racist in their own regard, or at best, really not thinking through how this was going to come across to the audience.  They've been referred to as comic relief in the same vein as Jar Jar Binks at several points.  Which is I think a good comparison for our purposes, and unlike the other five characters we just rattled off, these two will feature somewhat prominently in the movie so we'll talk more about them as they pop up.

O: At least kind of in vague sentences because as we said, none of the characters really do very much in this movie.

S: Yeah…

O: Even the ones that are in there for the bulk of the movie, don't do very much in this movie.

S: Yeah.

O: And then our returning Autobots from the first movie are Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Ironhide, and Ratchet.

S: Mm-hm.

O: We see N.E.S.T. surround a construction vehicle that transforms into a huge ass robot mode and begins wrecking shit.

S: Yep.  Things go boom and everything's extremely orange and blue regarding the lighting and environment.  The second car Decepticon is spotted nearby and he tries to evade N.E.S.T. but is almost immediately bisected by Sideswipe.

O: We don't even really get to see his robot mode either- like, he sort of vaguely transformed I think, to like, crash through a building and then was- turned back into a car and was immediately killed by Sideswipe.

S: Yup.  Optimus is fucking airdropped from a plane-

O: [laughs]

S: Uh, to take on the construction vehicle Decepticon.

O: I- I'm pretty sure they just really wanted that shot of a semi driving off a damn plane.

S: Yeah.

O: Which I mean, okay, fair, it's a cool shot but still.  Uh, so then we see Optimus transform midair deploying some parachutes that have the Autobot logo on them... for some reason.

S: Is branding that important to the Autobots or their allies?  Plus, uh, someone's gonna need to go collect those later.

O: I wanna know why he landed in the middle of a highway- in robot mode!

S: No one here seems to think critically about any of this stuff when they're effectively undercover.

O: Apparently not.

S: I mean how many people with cell phones are taking photos and video of this? TONS!

O: Tons!  That becomes somewhat relevant later.

S: Even though people are still being evacuated.

O: Well, yeah- it said people were being evacuated but then to all these- all these shots that happen here, you still see a bunch of cars on the road.

S: Yeah.

O: While this is all happening.

S: And people still in their homes.

O: Yeah!

S: Optimus catches the rogue Decepticon who tells him menacingly, “The Fallen shall rise again!”

O: Hey, if it gets me out of this movie faster I for one welcome our Fallen overlord.

S: Unfortunately, we've got like, another two hours to go.

O: [sighs] Fuck.

S: And now in a completely different movie!  Sam is getting ready to leave for college.

O: His parents are having very different reactions.  His dad can't seem to wait for him to leave, while his mom is tearing up at every little thing that reminds her of Sam.  Apparently, his dad's got plans for his room, and I'm thinking, “Man cave- how creative.”

S: Ah, he wants his personal theater system, I guess.  After being hugged by his sobbing mother, Sam comments that, “You see this Dad?  This is how you're supposed to react when the fruit of your loins goes into- out of the cruel world to fend for himself.”  Okay, god that is such a cringe line.

O: I don't want to think about the fruit of that man's loins.  I don't want to think about that man's loins at all, okay!?

S: Neither do I, that's why it's so cringy.

O: Yeah- yeah, thanks- thanks for that Sam.

S: [sighs] We are treated to an awkward moment when Sam's dad spanks his mom on the butt as she walks away.  Sam is disgusted- I guess he is our audience surrogate in this moment.

O: His dad then tries to play it off as, “It's like a coach,” and NO that does not make it better! [laughs]

S: That actively makes it worse!  Sexual harassment is not okay.  Sam is apparently the first Witwicky to go to college.

O: I have questions.  Again, what the fuck does Sam's dad do that allows them to have this huge house that didn't require a college degree at any point!?  Who knows!  Uh, the Witwicky’s have apparently got another dog since the last movie, uh, so just another thing to add to this movie-- dog humping.

S: Lots of dog humping, in their dog condo.  It's kind of unsettling.

O: I don't know why they thought that this needed to be in the movie, but here we are.

S: Mikaela calls Sam, intending to break up with him- she is the most emotionally mature person in this movie.

O: Yep, pretty much!  They talk, uh, Sam insinuates that they're going to be entering a long-distance relationship while he's at college.

S: While they're talking, Sam pulls out an old ripped t-shirt.  His D-Day shirt as he refers to it.  Which is apparently, the shirt that he was wearing during the battle in Central City from the first movie.

O: This is important!  This is a plot point!

S: Yeah, we also have to assume that he has never washed the nasty shredded clothes from that day.  Because, I suppose, he wants to hold them and relive the memories of being chased by giant alien robots that wanted to murder him.

O: [laughs] No clue.  Uh, Sam does try to convince Mikaela to move near the college he's going to, but she refuses.

S: Her father's been released from jail since the first movie, and she insists on needing to take care of him.  That should not be poor Mikaela's responsibility, but she is the most responsible person in this movie as I said.

O: Well, and I get it, right?  Like, her dad just got out, presumably she has not seen- really been able to live with him for years.  She's both worried about him, and probably wants to spend time with him.

S: Yeah, that's fair.  Convenient plot device is convenient, as a sliver of the AllSpark falls off of Sam's shirt while he's on the phone to Mikaela.

O: It seems to zap Sam and then he drops it.

S: When it lands on the floor it burns its way through the floor and into the kitchen bringing a bunch of kitchen appliances to life.

O: They all attack Sam.

S: How did they get ammo?  Does just being brought to life just give them ammo?

O: Uh, dear god, why does one of these things have a penis?  That's my question.  Furthermore, why is it shooting things OUT OF ITS PENIS!?!

S: Because... Michael Bay.

O: I had- yeah, that's all I got, man.

S: Bumblebee bursts out of the garage and begins shooting at the little Decepticons, saving Sam's sorry ass yet again.

O: Maybe Bee should be trying to smash them instead of shooting at them?  They're on the front lawn at this point so all I can think is- their neighbors have to be able to see this!

S: I thought this was in the back lawn, but I'm not sure.

O: I- they're outside, he's no longer in the kitchen.  He's trying to shoot Decepticons outside the house, it probably is the backyard, but I don't know.  Sam yells at Bee to get in the garage.

S: Way to micromanage your giant robot bodyguard slash friend. [sighs] Again, it's like- you'd yell at a dog or something.

O: [laughs] Bad Bumblebee, bad!  Of course, Bee smashed out of the garage, uh, despite having a perfectly good door in front of him and then re-enters through the hole he had previously made.

S: Sam's mother is not happy about the surprise kitchen renovations, but Sam's dad calms her down by telling her that the government will pay for it all.

O: I'm so glad to know that this is where my taxes would be going to in this universe.

S: Well, it's definitely worse than some of the other things that it could be going for.

O: [sighs] I suppose that's true.

S: Sam's mom is like fine, but I want to pool and a hot tub!  And I quote, “And I'm going to skinny dip, and you can't say shit about it!”

O: And quite frankly that woman's put up with a lot of stuff, I- I respect- you know as long as she's got a good fence- her right to skinny dip in her own yard. [laughs]

S: Yeah, they need that privacy fence.  Sam goes into the garage to tell the audience, I mean uh, Bee, uh, how Bee can't come to college with him.

O: For reference, ignore the bit in the last movie where Bee talked because that's just gonna be ignored for like, three freaking movies.

S: Yeah.  To calm Bee down he says, “You'll always be my first car!”

O: Not even, you're my best friend- you're my first car.

S: “Congratulations Bumblebee, you're my possession!”

O: Pretty much!

S: Oh, that's creepy.  Sam gives the AllSpark shard to Mikaela for some reason, because Mikaela shows up at the end of all of this.

O: Right, you know like, everything has exploded, Mikaela's out there looking lovely with a bouquet of flowers.

S: Yep, instead of calling the Autobots or giving it to Bumblebee, nope it is given to Mikaela for safe keeping.  Well, I mean she is the most sensible person out of the civilians?

O: Everyone here?  Yeah, it's not that it- can't make it that- it's not that I don't think Mikaela can keep it safe.  She manages to do so quite swimmingly through this movie, but it's rather… not that she can use it at all, and it could potentially be dangerous for her to have it on her person!

S: Yeah.

O: And Bee is right there!  It's not like he couldn't give it to Bee and tell Bee to take it to the Autobots.

S: Yeah, like, that would be, uh, a lot more sensible.  Though if they'd done that it might have been put in with the other... another thing that happens later in the movie.

O: [laughs] True.

S: Anyway, they smooch, words are said, and a somewhat sappy 2000 era love song plays.

O: Meanwhile, no one seems to notice the toy remote control truck that's being controlled by no one.

S: A remote controlled truck that is somehow communicating with outer space, and somehow this character will be vaguely important

O: Shush!  My boy is here!

B: [laugh]

S: Ah, Soundwave shows up and takes over a surveillance satellite.

O: I'm sure I've mentioned this before at some point because I know I've said this multiple times, at least to Specs, but yes, I actually like the Bay version of Soundwave.  He's not in the movie much, but having him take over a satellite and spend the rest of the movie gathering intelligence and sending troops out? *chef’s kiss* Feels very in character, keep going baby.  His design is still garbage... just like everybody else though.

 S: And his voice sounds very nice.

O: That's because it's actually Welker!  He's allowed to be in this movie, doing a sizeable chunk of the speaking Decepticons even!  This is not a G1 similarity I necessarily expected, but I do find it hilarious.  Apparently, he also did the voice for Soundwave in a bunch of other language dubs too, which while interesting... I have to question why?  It's not like Soundwave's voice would have necessarily sounded the same in those other languages in the original G1 dub.  It just sounds like an odd decision?

S: Money.

O: Money.  I- kudos to him for attempting it at least?  But I still don't know why they did it.

S: Back at the N.E.S.T. headquarters, we see Mudflap and Skids uh, shenanigans, and they're unloading dozens of bodies!   Presumably, soldiers that died in Shanghai, uh- that's, uh, welcome to the morbid stuff that they don't spend any time on it at all.

O: Uh, why Sideswipe silver?  You had one job movie, one job.  Sideswipe is a little red sports car this is like, his defining characteristic- surely this was doable!

S: I don't think anyone involved in making the movie was a very big fan of G1 or wanted to maintain, you know, artistic integrity with regards to that.

O: [sighs] Yeah, I know, what am I saying?  I think the actual reason is I've heard red is harder to film?

S: Oh, that might be right.

O: Like- but- [sighs] I don't- it could be, because I want to say- I'm sorry if I'm incorrect- I want to say that's actually the reason Optimus’ color scheme got changed around quite a bit?

S: Mm.

O: And why he's got more blue on him.

[According to TFWiki: “When Optimus's design was first revealed, many fans of the Generation 1 series objected to the flames seen on Prime's body. When asked in an interview why he put the flames on, Michael Bay claimed he liked them because it was "cool". It was later revealed on a special featurette on the DVD that the flames were added because, apparently, red is not very good to film on camera, so Bay chose a blue truck but used the flames so that when Optimus transformed, the layout would result in maintaining his iconic red chest.”]

S: So, a jumped up government official shows up at N.E.S.T. headquarters.

O: And I think we all know where this is going.  Uh, this will be our bureaucratic bastard for this evening.

S: Yeah, you know, the wimpy suit who keeps getting in the way of the ARMY men and their REAL job- AMERICA!

B: [laughs]

S: Sorry, um, and here we have a lovely shot of Optimus transforming.  It's like some nice rotating thing.

O: Okay, get the robot transformation porn out of the way, next!

S: [sighs] And the bureaucratic weasel confronts Optimus on why haven't the Decepticons left the planet now that the AllSpark is destroyed, like they thought they would?

O: Optimus seems to take the opinion that Daddy Prime knows best.  Weasel's not super happy about this, but Optimus does say the Autobots will leave Earth if asked.  Neither of these groups are handling this super amazingly.  (Yes, even Optimus.)  Both sides have a point, if they'd stop trying to wave their metaphorical DICKS around and actually talk from a position of respecting each other's expertise, I'm betting this would go a whole lot better.

S: Probably.  The N.E.S.T. members back Optimus up.  Our only returning characters here are Lennox and Epps, both played by the same actors from last time.

O: Though I did not realize this at first.  I totally thought Epps was played by somebody completely different, and I'm gonna blame the writing because Epps is not given a lot of things to do here.

S: He was a very memorable character in the first movie.

O: Yeah.

S: Yeah, and uh, anyway back to college!  College away!

O: Sam's apparently going to Princeton, on the government's dime no less!

S: Oh god, he does absolutely nothing with it in later films.  Again, we're assuming due to the filming locations that Sam lives in Southern California or thereabouts so we're a bit surprised to realize he actually decided to go to college on the other side of the country.

O: It certainly doesn't come across like Mikaela is a priority in his life.

S: Yeah.  I mean seriously, he could have gone to school in California there's plenty of good schools in California.

O: Yup!  But uh, are you ready for some booze and boobs?

S: [sighs] We're introduced to Sam's roommates.

O: The only one that will actually play much of a role in the plot will be our buddy, Leo here.

S: I hope you're being sarcastic.

O: I mean- I mostly mean that he's there.

S: Well, no, I meant with the buddy bit.

O: [speaking while laughing] Uh, yes, that was sarcasm.

S: Yeah.  Uh, Leo runs a conspiracy theory website called The Real Effing Deal which is currently scrambling to get a- footage of the fight from Shanghai.  Uh, from earlier in the movie up on their site.

O: Which again, is ABUNDANT!  Because Optimus landed in the middle of a highway.

S: Yup.

O: Anyway, they're trying to do this until another person, Robo-Warrior, one ups them and gets the footage up, I think on a different site, first.

S: Yeah.  Sam does his best to play cool and blow Leo and his friends off because it's all, “Fake.” [laughs]

O: Also, I'd like to take- take a moment to note the era accurate Naruto poster decor among the sea of boobs.

S: Yeah.  Leo makes a comment that he and Sam are poor.

O: Alright!  Sit down and buckle up because this legitimately pissed me the fuck off.  So to rant for a moment, let's go back down the checklist of Sam's white fucking privilege, shall we?  He lives in a big house in a nice neighborhood.  In what we are assuming is Southern California, which is not a cheap place to live.  His parents have enough time for leisure activities and in fact, go on vacation in Paris after dropping Sam off.

S: Yup.

O: His dad bought him a car in the last movie and yes, he was very much implied to be being a cheap ass at the time, but at no point is there any indication he couldn't have bought Sam a nicer car.

S: And the car that he's driving when he like, jerks him around on what type of car he's going to get him, it looks like it's a fancy expensive car so...

O: That's also true!  Speaking as someone who grew up in a lower income rural area, and I say this not even remotely being the worst off in that area.  Our floors were rotting out, every time we had a heavy rain we had to run to the windows with towels because so many of them leaked, and more applicable in this situation- my family did not have the money to save up for college for me, or any of my siblings.  Yes, I realize the government is apparently paying for his tuition, but that just proves my point even more, because Sam's gonna come out of this with no student loan debt!

S: Yup!

O: So poor my fucking ass!

S: Uh-huh.  Sam's mom shows up in his dorm room high is a goddamn kite because she apparently bought and ate some brownies from the bake sale not realizing that they were weed brownies.

O: And she's just gonna be a punchline for the next several scenes, sorry.

S: Yeah.  To just list a few of the things that his high as a kite mother does: She talks about him losing his virginity loudly, and kind of at length to various women in the hallway.  [nervous laugh] And in the surrounding environs, mentioning that his car is a talking robot, tackles a dude for some frisbees, and petitions Sam's dad for sex on the campus green.  Considering how much she ate it's very likely she will need to go to the hospital because her knees may attempt to kill her.

O: Uh, then we cut the Soundwave, apropos of nothing, uh, ejecting Ravage into space.  Look, I get him for 10 seconds I'm going to fucking enjoy it.

 S: Ravage’s design here is very prominent with the pointy bits and teeth.

O: Rawr. [laughs]

S: And he lands near a US military base and runs over to a pipe sticking out of the ground and basically- uh, ralphs up a bunch of itty-bitty bots?

O: Into the pipe.  Uh, you know.  So I’m just saying uh, Soundwave’s baby had babies, this clearly makes Soundwave a grandad.

B: [laugh]

S: All the bots fall down the pipe and once they're at the other end meld together to form a new bot that is...gah.

O: He's interesting!  At least, visually, in that he is basically flat, so he can be borderline invisible when he's looking head-on at something.

S: He looks like a knife raptor.

O: Uh, this thing's name is Reedman and he doesn't show up except in this one scene.  Uh, he also brings our ‘Decepticons voiced by Frank Welker’ count up to three after Soundwave and Ravage.

S: Reedman?

O: Reedman, yeah!  I looked at the wiki!

S: [laughs]

O: I looked at the wiki, and I was like, “That's a terrible name!” but that's the name!

S: I am judging whoever named that character, so hard.

O: [laughs] Aren't we just judging the entire movie?

S: Oh yes, but…Reedman?

O: Fuck if I know, man.

S: Another piece (aside from Sam's piece) of the AllSpark is being held here so, uh, Reedman gets to work stealing it.

O: Alarms begin to go off and several military guys arrive at the bunker and shoot at our knife raptor.

S: Ravage begins firing at the base to distract them.

O: I'm very amused he's got his tiny little hip missiles too!

S: Meanwhile, back at the plot we're all absolutely dying to continue- cough, cough, no, cough.

O: [laughs]

S: Sam's been dragged to a college frat party by his roommates?

O: It looks like a frat party.  I don't even know why they want to bring Sam uh, they don't even seem to like him.

S: Eh, they want to have someone less cool with them so that basically they can be like, “Hey, look at that lame guy, we're much cooler.”

O: Well, Sam is definitely the least cool person in the area right now due to mommy shenanigans.

S: Yeah, while at the party Sam is missing his first video call with Mikaela.  God, you are such a sucky long distance boyfriend, Sam!

O: Right!?  You had one job!  So we see Mikaela getting ready, taking her hair down and talking to her doggo while getting her computer set up.

S: Sam's- uh, promptly begins to spazz out by the uh, snack table and draws strange symbols with food.

O: These symbols are Cybertronian and the AllSpark fragment has helpfully downloaded a bunch of stuff directly into Sam's brain.

S: [sighs] We've upgraded from they want the glasses to they're going to want the brain, aren't they?

O: Something along those lines, yes!  Quite frankly, again, I think they can have it. [laughs]

S: One partygoer notices Sam's new hobby and saunters over to seduce herself to him.

O: [laughs] Uh, blondie's name is Alice, and don't worry we'll get to see her panties later because what the absolute fucking fuck Bay!?!

S: [sighs] Bay, why- why'd you hurt me so? [sighs] There's a discussion about girlfriends and Sam says, “kind of,” in regards to having one.

O: Kind of?  KIND OF!?!  Sam, you dick waffle!

S: [sighs] The quintessential jock yells, “Who drove the freaking yellow Camaro!?”

O: Sam’s Bee senses tingle, and he leaves the party.

 S: Bee is waiting outside on the lawn, or possibly the bushes but…

O: In that general vicinity! [laughs]

S: Yeah, but Alice follows him down and hops into Bee's passenger seat.

O: Bee attempts to communicate to Sam that this woman is ~baaaad news~ using various voice clips and songs.  And this would have been a really interesting bit if Bee did have his voice back and he had to communicate with Sam like this because he's doing it in front of Alice!

S: Yeah, like, that would have been interesting and a neat way of utilizing his past experience to communicate.

O: Yeah, because I- I don't know remember if we've talked about this super much but there- there's nothing wrong with Bee still relying a bit on that because it is kind of funny and entertaining to see.  It's- just make it so he has to use it in scenarios with other people around?

 S: Yeah, god, he could do so much with musical lyrics.

O: Pretty much!

S: Alice seems to know something is up, as Bee makes her as uncomfortable as physically possible as he can, including spraying her with a icky yellow liquid and slamming her into the dashboard.

O: She exits in a huff before Bumblebee takes Sam to a graveyard where the rest of the Autobots are waiting.

S: So that was night.  Now we are inexplicably in the daytime, I think?

O: Morning.  Early morning it looks like.

S: Yeah.  Optimus tells Sam the last piece (or as much as he is aware) of the AllSpark was stolen and attempts to convince Sam to remind the other humans why the Autobots are necessary and why they're trying to use a college student for this is a big question.

O: I don't know- and Sam says no, because he's just a normal college student.  I don't understand this, I feel like I would jump at a chance like this?  Like, dude, does it have good health insurance?  Does it have a pension?  Yes?  Sign me the fuck up!  But I want to ask, why the heck didn't Sam tell the Autobots here about the fragment he gave to Mikaela!?

S: Because he's a shitty little baby- I mean, obviously.

O: Oh, [unintelligible].  Then out in the middle of the ocean in a different movie… Over the Laurentian Abyss, which is where the dead Cons were dumped in the last movie.  Several Decepticons have stowed away on what looks like a cargo ship.

S: The fact that it's going directly over where they need to go is uh... they probably hacked it.

O: Wouldn't shock me.

S: Yeah, so who the Decepticons are is absolutely unimportant.  The only recognizable one is Ravage.

O: And I think only one other one will actually get named.

S: Yeah.

O: Uh, so they all jump off the ship and into the water, and I have to you know, bring up- they specifically said they dumped the dead bodies into this trench because of the pressure and cold in the last movie.  So, why are all these Cons just perfectly fine with a little skinny dipping?

S: I mean, maybe it's just supposed to keep- I don't know, whatever self-repair systems the dead ones have from working and it doesn't do shit to like, perfectly fine robots?  I don’t know.

O: They were using cold as a weapon against them in one though. Like, against Bee.

S: That's absolutely true, but I mean, if cold didn't [did] do anything to them how would they operate in space?

O: I don't know, but they clearly had Megatron on ice.

S: Who knows... yeah.

O: And he got frozen in the Arctic!

S: Yeah, I know, the entire thing is garbage.  It may be- maybe water- maybe frozen water is their kryptonite?  God. [laughs]

O: Welcome to Earth! [laughs]

S: Why didn't they dismember the Decepticons, or incinerate them?  Or you know, take important parts, crush them, destroy them or whatever.  Like, throw them in 100 different places- that would work a lot better than this!  Run them through a trash compactor or something, before they dump them down into the Laurentian tre- Abyss.

 O: I’ll tell you exactly why.  Uh, because the government put out a bid for trash removal and the lowest bidder won.

S: The government does stupid things, many times. [sighs] We see a military sub monitoring this area, reading the five Cybertronian life signs.

O: They reach Megatron and a little doctor bot (whose name is Scalpel), starts uh, poking around at his corpse.

 S: [sighs] He shouts about his need for parts, and one of the nameless Constructicons is offed.  The parts and the AllSpark fragment are all shoved into Megatron.

O: So Megatron's back.

S: Yup.

O: And yet, still voiced by Hugo Weaving so I don't care.  No offense, Hugo Weaving.  Uh, get back to me in two movies.  Also notice they didn't kill Ravage here, because I'm entirely convinced Soundwave would end them.

S: Probably, because I mean, they did like- the little doctor boss specified, “Kill the little one!”

O:  It- to- pointing to a random Constructicon.

S: Yeah.  Fun bout of bad continuity, the radar shows the five life signs, as Ravage and Scalpel are both too small to show up, and then uh, when they come up they have six life signs but uh, you'll remember they had to kill a Constructicon down there.  So uh, it should be this same number, even with Megatron in tow.  Or maybe they brought the other Con- Decepticons back to life, I don't know?

O: I don't think so, we never see them.  They could have brought Blackout back to life, but we'll get into why they didn't later.

S: I mean maybe they brought uh, shoot- Scorponok?

O: No, Scorponok never died in the first movie.

S: Oh… well… yeah.

O: He just- they got his tail like-

S: Oh, that’s right.

O: The- the army guys cut off his tail but then he disappeared.

S: Oh, that's right.  Mm.

O: Megatron's apparently salty enough at humans though, in general, to smash through this- the military sub on his way up, so all those people are dead now.

S: He'd do that even if he wasn't feeling salty, you know that.

O: Oh yeah, he's a bastard, but you know.

S: Uh, Megatron flies to one of Saturn's moons where the Nemesis is being uh, well, it's parked and is used as a base by some of the remaining Decepticons, which includes our old buddy Starscream.  And he knocks Starscream around for taking over the Decepticons while he was ‘away’.

O: You know, while he was literally fucking dead. [laughs]

S: And so we are introduced to the Darth Sidious to Megatron's Darth Maul.

O: Including liberal use of the word ‘disciple’!

S: [sighs] So much sighing.  This is the Fallen whose name we will not find out in the movie itself because it would be really fucking confusing to have Megatron, and his master, Megatronus, running around.

O: Also, um, a bunch of little baby robots in pods?  On the wall.

S: Robot eggs.  So many robot eggs.

O: But no really, I'm not sure we can explain that any better than we just did- so just roll with it.

S: Yeah.  Anyway, the Fallen isn't shown to have an alt mode in this, but once you see him you do realize he was the Transformer that was shown at the very beginning of the movie while Optimus was monologuing.

O: And as kind of mentioned previously, he looks vaguely like the queen from Alien, but you know, with eyes and a huge staff he fights with.

S: And less arms and no tail.

O: Yeah.  Apparently though, only a Prime can kill the Fallen.  Don't ask us how the fuck that works!

S: I guess only a Prime can kill a Prime?  Because wasn't the Fallen a Prime?

O: Yes, he was considered a Prime but I don't- I still don't know how the mechanics of that work is what I'm getting at.

S: Is it just a weird cultural hangup?

O: I- I don't know!  That's what I'm saying, it's never explained!

S: I know, I know.  This will get weird in a bit.

O: [laughs]

S: It will! [sighs]

O: But they're like, “So if we remove that one pesky remaining Prime we’ll be off scot-free!” [laughs]

S: Yep.  The Fallen explains that the AllSpark cannot be destroyed it can merely be transformed.

O: Everything transforms on Cybertron, but right now the AllSpark is currently living rent free in Sam's head.

S: And I think he wants some goddamn rent, but I think we all want some goddamn rent for having this living rent free in our heads.

O: [laughs] Right!?!  Bay, you should pay us for watching this movie!

S: [sighs] So, the Decepticons are going to go after Sam (again), kill Optimus, or at least make another attempt at it (again), and presumably somehow use Sam's brain as they AllSpark.

O: But then Starscream walks in holding a dead robot baby, waving it around and saying they need more Energon or all the hatchlings will continue to die.

S: Well, someone apparently… uh.

O: I just don't know why this is here. I'm sorry, I don't- I don't know why they felt the need to have Starscream motioning while holding a dead baby!

S: [laughs] Being a very bad nurse maid-

O: Yes!  But now it's time to go back to school.

S: I already want to hit someone in this class well, multiple someones.  Sam is setting it in on his physics class.

O: With the absolute creepiest, filthiest, fucking professor I have seen in a good long while.

S: Ah, innuendos, a god complex, this man is so many sexual harassment lawsuits, and a restraining order waiting to happen.

O: This is not appealing!  Who the fuck does this appeal to?

S: I don't know but I'm ace, so I'm possibly not the best person to ask.

O: Is this a straight woman thing!?  Where the hell are we gonna find one of those this time of night?

B: [laugh]

S: Sam starts freaking out like he was uh, doing at the party, writing equations, and stuff all over the board.  He basically gets up, and bowls his way into- up to the front of the class and basically shows up the shitty professor.

O: Uh, Bulkhead did this in Prime, I'd like to personally nominate Bulkhead as our main character instead of Sam.

S: Oh yeah, Bulkhead would be a much more fun character.  Sam is promptly kicked out of the class uh, because showing up the professor and also the fact that the dean is apparently there.  So he's been- that professor has been like this while the dean is there.

O: Yes, so, uh, obviously he's sleeping with the old lady too, is what I'm getting from this.

S: That's creepy, it's even worse!  I mean, this is a female dean.

O: Yeah, female dean not just a random like, male dean, I mean an older female dean!

S: [sighs] Oh god.  Sam calls Mikaela mid freak out, and realizes that the AllSpark has caused his little problem.

O: Uh, so he asks her to bring the AllSpark fragment to him on the East Coast.  Uh, by the way I would just like to take a moment to tell you this very important information, Mikaela's dog's name is Bones.

S: Uh, the little remote controlled truck Decepticon, who we regret to inform you is this universe's version of Wheelie, uhh, is stalking around the garage where Mikaela is.

O: Wheelie, uh, clearly hasn't gotten the memo on you know, Mikaela taking out a Decepticon with a power tool in the first movie, decides to be a dumbass and say, “You're hot, but you're not too bright,” as he attempts to steal the AllSpark fragment.

S: The fact that Wheelie has some sort of metric for human um, attractiveness is honestly, really concerning.

O: Just a little bit.

S: [sighs]

O: Uh, predictably though, Mikaela fucks him up with a welding torch, including taking out one of his optics.

S: Wheelie begs for mercy from the Warrior Goddess.

O: At last Mikaela is given a proper title.

S: Uh-huh, and then Mikaela shoves him in a box and hops on a plane.

O: Metal box, I feel like it's important it does actually hold him.

S: Yeah, a metal box, and hops on a plane with him and the AllSpark.  And honestly this feels like something that she couldn't successfully do after 9/11.

O: Which is hilarious, because this was definitely filmed after 9/11.  So we just have to go with she's so sexy that she was able to get the big metal box on the plane without having to go through an x-ray.

S: Except that everything that goes on the plane when you check it should go through x-ray…

O: I know, I know!

S: Or-

O: Boobs!  The power of boobs!

S: Never mind that the power of boobs should not, you know, somehow affect the people that do not get exposed to the boobs.

O: See- see this is why uh, this movie would have been stopped in its tracks if one of the TSA agents had been a woman- a straight woman.

S: Or one of the people who sorts stuff or- because like, just imag-

O: It looked like it was her carry-on.

S: Now I'm just imagining that the people, because like you know how they sometimes go and randomly open bags to go through the contents? [laugh] I'm just imagining someone doing that and then there being a major freak out because out comes a stupid remote controlled car that’s yelling at everyone.

O: [laughs] Yeah… yeah.

S: Uh, then we cut to a short segment showing that all the Autobots are heading to locations on the East Coast as the rest of N.E.S.T. mobilizes.

O: But wait!  Decepticon pretenders are afoot at Princeton!

S: That's not ominous at all.  Sam is in his room going nuts and writing stuff on the wall.

O: Uh, and then Alice pushes her way into Sam's room and attempts a rather forceful seduction. 

S: She straight up picks him up and tosses him on the bed.

O: Which really should have been his first clue that something was very wrong!

S: Yeah, because Alice is not uh, portrayed as a…

O: A big woman.

S: Yes.

O: She's very slight and conventionally attractive.

S: Yeah, so she gets on top of him, and then we get the most awkward shot of Decepticon panties as the metal tail comes out from underneath Alice's extremely short dress.

O: Thanks for that Michael Bay.  I always, always wondered what brand of underpants Decepticons were wear, given the chance.

S: [sighs] She kisses Sam, apparently with tongue, and Mikaela walks in and is understandably pissed.

O: Alice asks if she's his girlfriend and Mikaela just says, “Ex,” and walks out, and I'm just like, “Yes, girl DRAG him!”

S: And meanwhile, Leo is sort of fluttering around in the background.

O: Yes, uh, because Alice pushed past him to get into their dorm room.

S: Sam attempts to follow, but Alice is 99% done with his dumb ass.

O: Uh, she attempts to strangle him with her suddenly very long and metal tongue.

S: Ah, that has apparently been places I do not want to think about.

O: I do not want to think about any of this, yeah.

S: Yeah.  Sam is able to escape, and we see Alice transform into a very obvious robot.

O: Sam, Mikaela, and Leo run into a nearby library where Sam and Mikaela begin having a whisper argument.

S: They're busy whisper shouting this entire time.  Alice catches up and smashes through the library, still chasing them.

O: I'm surprised this thing still has hair in robot mode.

S: Hair?  I mean its still got boobs!

O: Bay, what the fuck!?

B: [laugh]

O: So they hop in the car, Mikaela saves both their butts by hot wiring it, and slamming Alice into a lamp post before running her over again with the car.

S: Where was Bumblebee during all of this?

O: Uh, he was actually with the Autobots a few- the other Autobots a few scenes back, so he's definitely not here.

S: Yeah unfortunately Sam and company don't get very far and are captured by Grindor who picks them up like, so you know those uh, claw machines-

O: [laughs]

S: At grocery stores?  Grindor basically does that and then he carries them off, like- they’re his claw machine loot.  Nearly losing one in the process.

O: I mean, truely, they kind of are.  So, uh, you- to- get- you know how I just mentioned that they definitely couldn't have brought Blackout back to life?  That is because Grindor looks exactly like Blackout, but he's not Blackout.  Because Blackout died at the end of the last movie, and we totally thought he was Blackout and he's even listed as Blackout on some of the toys and a good chunk of promotional material, but- but he's a different character.  I don't know why they did this.

S: I don't know they wanted to keep the trademark in use, maybe?

O: [groans]

S: For the Grindor name, because they used it- I think, in anime- Armada.  I think they used it in Armada, so this was probably just blatant patent-

O: It was bad though. [laughs]

S: Oh yeah, I know.  Or um, trade- name trademarks?  I don't know.

O: But he makes a Decepticon number four voiced by Welker.

S: Mm-hm.  So, the car is dropped into some kind of warehouse where Sam is confronted by the now very alive Megatron.

O: Who's definitely holding a grudge against Sam for the whole ‘killing him in the last movie’ thing.

S: Yep, Sam is laid out on a concrete slab and Scalpel gets to work.  Starting with shoving a metal squid down Sam's throat, uhh…

O: No, no, no!  No, no, no, no, NOPITY, nope, nope, nope nope!

S: Yeah, this is uh, pretty gross and I don't like it and I don't think anyone else likes it either.  A metal squid uh, exits his mouth and projects images of what's in Sam's brain. [groans]

O: But!  This is apparently not all the information in his brain, as Scalpel definitely intends to remove it from his head.

S: Sam is saved just in time by the Autobots.

O: I want to know how Megatron even got into this warehouse.  There's not any like, big holes that we can see or anything, aside from the one Grindor- when Grindor dropped the car through.

S: Yeah, there really don't seem to be any openings big enough for him that we can see.

O: Okay, just going to assume mass shifting in this continuity for no good reason, okay.

S: Either that or he did the stupid ‘I'm a contortionist’ through the door, which seems way more respect for the -

O: [laughs] Robot limbo!

S: That seems to be way more uh, respect for the integrity of this building than Megatron should feel.

O: Yes!

S: Ah, so, um, Leo and Mikaela escape in Bee while Optimus takes Sam.

O: So they're separated, and Optimus has to fight Megatron alone.  And Megatron turns into a tank for a split second!  I didn't even realize this version of him could BE a tank!

S: Yeah, he's a multiformer?

O: Apparently!

[In the background crowd noises are heard as the hosts begin speaking like sports announcers.]

O: But now, it's the match of the century here at the Forest Fighting arenaaaa!

S: It's Megatron versus Optimus tonight, folks!

O: The Warlord himself versus Optimus Fucking Prime! [laughs]

[A wrestling bell rings in the background to signify the start of the match.]

S: Optimus gets a good right hook in.

O: Right before being tackled by Megatron!

S: Is that legal?

O: Hell if I know!  It's giant robots, it's all the same amount of legal!

S: Oh!  He's got the tree!

[The crowd increases in volume.]

S: Optimus has got the tree!

O: What a hit, you know that one must have hurt!

S: And now it's a sword fight?  They both are up and swinging away!

O: It just turned into a three-on-one match, folks!

[The crowd begins booing.]

S: Oh no- no, Optimus- Starscream and Grindor have joined the fray!

O: Wait, somehow a human's gotten into the arena.

S: Starscream and Megatron are chasing him down.

[The crowd increases in volume]

O: But Optimus has intercepted them and has taken them both on!

S: Starscream has been tossed out of the arena- out of bounds, out of bounds!

O: Optimus has gone through a tree!

S: Now the Cons are all just taking turns hitting him.  You hate to see it folks, you hate to see it!

O: Optimus is eatin’ dirt!

S: But he's back and now dual wielding blades!

O: Grindor’s lost an arm!

S: Megatron’s taken a good one to the kneecap.

O: And hit to the face!

S: That's it!  That's it for Grindor!  Hook, line and sinker!

[The crowd roars.]

O: Oh, he must have a splittin’ headache!

S: Or at least he would if he still had a head.

O: But Optimus is distracted before taking the blade to the chest!

[A wrestling bell sounds to signify the end of the match.]

O: That's it!  It's all over!  Optimus is down, I repeat- Optimus is down!  Megatron's the winner!

[Applause and the crowd noise fades out]

O: No really, Optimus is dead now, because Bay wants to make us feel things.

S: Except very badly, and unfortunately, this Optimus didn’t back up his brain on a floppy disk.  And I mean there is no pathos here!

O: Of course somehow during all of this no one ends our suffering by squishing Sam accidentally or otherwise.

S: [sighs]

O: [laughs]

S: The rest of the Autobots drive up just in time to see Optimus body.

O: Where the fuck were they!?!

S: Being useless.

O: Yeah, that checks out.

S: Megatron and Starscream flee and land on a skyscraper in the middle of a city, and then argue about what to do next.  And we cut to Soundwave doing what he does best, remotely managing resources.

O: Which in this case means tracking Sam's parents down in Paris as they enjoy some fine parisian food, and prank calling them.

S: Yeah, his mom is not impressed about the heavy breathing.  Such as it is.

O: We then see several Decepticons, including The Fallen, fall to Earth taking out several air carriers and buildings as they land.

S: One of these Decepticons captures Sam's parents.

O: The Fallen sends out a tv broadcast basically spelling out that he wants Sam turned over to him in order to spare the rest of the planet.

S:  Ah, the news story is shown, letting us know that worldwide the number of casualties is in the ballpark of seven thousand, and well, that's not as horrifying as it came across initially, but mmm…

O: Just seven thousand, for the entire world?  I, for one, welcome our Decepticon overlords.  In case you're watching this in the future, we're recording this at the tail end of 2020 and we live in the US.  That's literally less than 30% of the US’ current Covid death count at this point- eh- while we were researching this episode.  It's probably more now.

S: Sam, Mikaela, Leo, Bee, and the Twins are hiding out in, and around some abandoned buildings.

O: Leo's upset, but Sam tells him to suck it up because he's involved now.

S: A helicopter dumps Optimus’ body over at N.E.S.T., and that was not a respectful handling of a dead body.

O: To be fair, he is very big, and the humans are very small, and that was not an Autobot helicopter.

S: Yeah, but that was effectively a world leader.

O: Yeah, Ironhide is upset and uh, begins to get antsy with his guns.

S: Mr. Government Weasel shows up and shuts N.E.S.T. down.  Lennox gets upset when he realizes the US government is planning out to hand Sam over.

O: And they're right to consider it!  You should (theoretically speaking) hand over one person if has the possibility of stopping a massive amount of death!

S: The problem is it wouldn't stop the massive amount of death, and it would just let them basically strip mine the planet because the Decepticons- the name starts with deception.

O: Fair, but the only ones who would know that are the Autobots and possibly members of N.E.S.T.  From the perspective of government officials, who do not have this information, it makes sense.

S: Yeah.  Skids and Mudflap clue the group in on trying to find someone who can read the Cybertronian text the AllSpark downloaded into Sam's brain.

O: Leo has decided to join them on their uh, “adventure”.

S: In quotation marks.  Which is probably uh, for the best because he knows a guy who might be able to help.

O: Remember the rival internet guy from before?

S: Guess who's back from the first movie, and it might not be your first thought!

O: That's right, Agent Simmons from the first movie, who is no longer- is a no longer an agent, is Robo-Warrior.

S: I feel like the tech guy from the first movie would have probably made a better Robo-Warrior.

O: Yeah, I do too... I do too.

S: [sighs] So, Sam and company arrive at Simmons’ mom's deli, or possibly his deli that his mom works at too or something?  I don't know it…

O: It's not very clear.

S: Yeah.

O: Uh, come to find out that Simmons has held on to some old Sector 7 documents.

S: Not just some, uh, he stole a lot of shit from Sector 7.  Like, enough to fill like a sub basement.

O: [snorts] Uh, now Mikaela pulls out Wheelie, who has been in tow in the metal box.

S: Uh-huh.

O: Uh, smooth talking him into helping them.

S: Wheelie also can't read the writing from before, saying that it's in the ‘language of the Primes’ and that they need a Seeker.

O: I had completely forgotten they referred to these guys as Seekers until we watched this again.  I kind of had a ‘what the fuck’ moment.

S: Same.  Seekers, in this continuity are ancient Cybertronians that had been tasked with traveling the galaxy, looking for stars to use as energy sources for the AllSpark.  This is a little bit of a hint, hint, hint, for uh, something that might happen later.

O: In a convenient coinkydink, some of Simmons’ old documents show several of these Seekers in their alt modes.

S: Wheelie is able to identify an SR-71 Blackbird in the National Air and Space Museum as a Seeker.

O: So off the gang goes to Washington DC.

S: Outside the National Air and Space Museum, Simmons rips off his pants, revealing the Sector 7 thong to the audience... and then turns around so we can get the view from every angle.  That’s-

O: No, no, no.  I did not need to see robot balls.  I did not need to see hairy man balls, and I certainly did not need to see hairy man ass!  I'm not even sure why he did this!?  I assume he changed pants but I don't know why he did that right here, in a parking lot, in front of everyone!

S: For the pain, I don't know.

O: [laughs]

S: And thus, they come up with the most amazing scheme to get into the museum as it's closing.  Leo's being a coward and Simmons intimidates him a bit.

O: Oh god!  That man is pressing his man meat against that man's meat!

S: [sighs] Inside the museum, Leo comes out of the bathroom with his pants… mmm, like, down around his ankles, looking for toilet paper.

O: Why did they want to do this to me?  I am feeling personally attacked by the quantity of hairy man I am seeing in this movie!

S: Why are they doing this to us?  It’s not just to you-

O: Why are they doing this to everyone!?! [laughs]

S: Yeah.  The security guard escorts Leo back into the bathroom, chastising him about how this is a family museum.

O: Yeah, the only one guy doing their job here is the security guard, okay?

S: Yeah, and [he] attempts to hand them toilet paper over the top of the stall.

O: Leo then zaps him with a taser and the man falls to the ground.

S: Of course Leo manages to uh, taze himself with the taser too and falls down, kind of by the guy, and is unable to move.

O: Simmons comes in and drags Leo, still twitching, out of the bathroom.

S: I am hoping that his pants are up, but god who knows with this movie-

O: I don't think they were when he started dragging him. [laughs]

S: God, why?

O: Oh, there was butt- his butt cheeks were ALL over that floor.

S: [sighs] So, they run through the museum and find the correct jet, and then Sam uses the AllSpark fragment on that jet.

O: You would think that perhaps, perhaps, before using an AllSpark fragment to wake a Cybertronian up you might check his goddamn faction badge first but, NOOOO!  It’s only after the jet begins to transform they notice the goddamn Decepticon symbol.

S: We are introduced to easily what is not only the best robot character in this movie, but quite possibly the best character in the movie, period.

O: Meet Jetfire!  He's old, he's cranky, he's a delight, and he's got a pretty sweet looking beard.

S: Yep, and a cane made from his alt mode’s landing gear.  You know, for extra old man points.

O: Now bit of a tangent, but in G1 you will remember Skyfire.  Our big sweetie pie scientist.

S: Starscream’s ex, you can't forget that.

O: Can’t forget that, and also frequently utilized as a taxi service by the Autobots.

S: Well, Skyfire is often named Jetfire instead, depending on the continuity.  You know, name stuff is weird...

O: Yeah, and- but this Jetfire doesn't have too much in common with our big old scientist, I just wanted to point out that he was clearly referencing him.  Um, but the one thing he does have in common and the most important thing to the idiots we're following, is that he is a Decepticon defector.

S: Mm-hmm.  Jetfire attempts to fire at a large door to get outside but is uh, having some uh, ‘performance issues’ with his equipment.

O: [laughs] Uh, he is able to get outside, so our party follows him um... into Arizona.  And yes, we know that movies often have to be shot at other locations, or fudge locations and make certain events work.  But I find this one particularly jarring as they are clearly in a desert with mountains off in the distance which does not line up with the geography around Washington DC.

S: Yeah, considering that it was what, a swamp?

B: [laugh]

O: Definitely not a desert with mountains!

S: Yeah, ah, this part was actually filmed at the 309th Aerospace Maintenance and Regeneration Group, or The Boneyard, in Tuscan, Arizona.

O: Jetfire gives a speech about how being an Autobot or a Decepticon is a choice.

S: An intensely personal choice, even.  And Wheelie's like, “Holy shit it IS!?!”

O: And proceeds to start humping Mikaela's leg, charming.

S: [long drawn out sigh] So many sighs.

O: [laughs] I don't understand all the humping in this movie Bay, I really don't.

S: Juvenile male humor?

O: I guess?

S: Guys think humping shit is funny, somehow?  I don't know. [sighs] Jetfire shows his uh, senility a little bit talking about his parents.

O: “My father?  Why he was a wheel!  The first wheel, and you know what he transformed into?  Nothing!  But he did so with honor- dignity, damn it!”

S: And that is a direct quote-

O: [laughs]

S: Straight from the man himself!

O: He's a delight.

S: [sighs] Sam pulls out a knife and begins carving the uh, Cybertronian symbols into the ground.  I mean, where- where'd he get the knife?  I have questions.

O: Thong man?  Probably?

S: Disconcerting- disconcertingly, yes, that is probable.  Um, Jetfire blabbers off about the Dagger's Tip before generating a space bridge, and teleporting everyone to Egypt with uh, very little warning.  I mean the only warning he gives them is, “Hold on or you'll die!” to the nearby squishies

O: I also feel like we need to preface, Dagger's Tip as in a location, not talking about the- the knife Sam is holding.  Realize that might be a little confusion without- confusing without context.

S: Yeah, and are Bumblebee and the Twins… are also here?

O: The Twins are also here translated- trans- translated?  Transported.

S: Okay, because yeah, they apparently showed up after they they exited and mass translocated to Arizona. [sighs] Life is weird in this movie.

O: Yeah, so uh, then Jetfire informs us that once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away… The original seven Primes had arrived on Earth to build a device called a Star Harvester which can create Energon by destroying suns.  Wait, seven!?!  Did they just pick a number at random!?

S: Probably.  I don't think whoever it was making this movie cared about the lore that was in other parts of the series.

O: At least seven is also a prime number…

S: Yeah... I mean, heck, I don't remember if they had a different number in [the] Cybertron [tv series]?  Because Cybertron I think, did have a list of Primes.

O: I think the number’s are usually 13.

S: Yeah, but it's just- I don't remember when that number came up-

O: Mm- that’s fair.

S: If it was before or after this.

[Okay, this is mildly confusing, (as Transformers lore often is) but the rough concept for The Thirteen has been around since 1999, but was really only solidified in 2004-2005 into specifically, Thirteen Primes.  All that being said, even if that wasn’t established in the first movie, it certainly would have been by the time they were creating the sequel. Also, several adaptations of this movie do have thirteen Primes, not seven, and designs had been created for 12 (non-Fallen) Prime heads, so who knows what the heck happened with this behind the scenes. ~O]

S: Yeah, and while they had a rule about not destroying suns that supported life, the Fallen decided that the humans sucked, and tried to turn it on anyway because-

O: He's a dick! [laughs]

S: He was basically the equivalent of a pissy house proud lady who, with a- whose house had a mouse infestation and he wanted to demolish it anyway but… The humans are the mice in this metaphor.

O: [laughs] Uh, the Primes tried to fight him but were unable to actually defeat him.

S: Considering that only a Prime is supposed to be able to defeat the Fallen this is somehow extremely disappointing.  So they took the Matrix of Leadership and sealed it in a tomb made of their own bodies.

O: The Matrix of Leadership is a reoccurring McGuffin in the Transformers lore, but for some inexplicable reason in this continuity it is basically just a ‘key’ for the Star Harvester.

S: Well, I think it also has some other purposes, considering what they end up using it for later… but yeah, it's primarily just the horse- blah, the Star Harvester key.  Jetfire conveys that Sam needs to find the Matrix of Leadership or they're all fucked.  I mean, what happened?  Did turning on Jetfire completely destroy the AllSpark fragment or is it just... dead now?  Could they use that to re-awaken Optimus body?

O: I mean yeah, you would think right!?  Because like, they- they did- they- that's how they brought Megatron back but nobody thought of this!

S: I mean didn't they already have a thing that they could have used to just, wake Optimus up?

O: Maybe?  I don't know.  I don't know.  Moving right along!  Um-

S: I want answers!  Sorry...

O:  We're not gonna get ‘em.  And then presumably, they leave Jetfire in the desert because he needs a good long nap after generating a whole ass space bridge.

S: Well, he basically tells them to get lost before any Auto- before any Decepticons show up.

O: Yeah, because assumably he's gonna take a nap.

S: Yeah, I mean- I think another Decepticon does show up at some point in the novelization, but who knows. I think grandpa beats his pants- or beats his ass.  Sam reaches the conclusion that if the Matrix of Leadership can activate the Sun Harvester then maybe it could reactivate Optimus, like some sort of robot activating skeleton key.

O: Seems like a bit of a reach, but alright.

S: No one knows what's going on here, so I guess, sure!  Let's run with it.

S: They stop by a nearby village allowing Simmons to contact N.E.S.T. and somewhat covertly tell them that they need to bring Optimus’ corpse over to Egypt.

O: [laughs]

S: [sighs] Oh, this is going to be so many… ugh, so many problems.

O: Soundwave is still able to figure out what the fuck they're saying though, and deploys the Decepticons to the same location that Simmons had given N.E.S.T.  You know, do you think his back hurts?  You know, from carrying his entire faction?

S: Probably, but I mean, he's in space so there's not much weight up there right now.

O: [laughs] Probably lessens the feeling a little bit.

S: Using some gibberish about the ‘three kings’ and also, astrological knowledge, Sam is able to figure out where the Primes’ tomb is and uh, the group heads towards the mountains of Petra.

O: Lennox's group has also brought the government weasel with them along on their ‘Definitely Not Transporting a Giant Robot Corpse’ mission, and then they fool him into jumping out of the plane.  So they can carry on without interruption.

S: Slightly less jumping out of the plane and slightly more uh, fooling him into opening the damn parachute that uh, they got the man to wear and then he gets swept out because--

O: It was a parachute. [laughs]

S: Moving plane, open door, there goes the- there goes the parachute.  Oops!  So much wind.

O: And it really might be one of the funniest scenes in the entire movie.  It also reads entirely too close to something our DND group would pull.

S: Oh yeah, yeah.

B: [laugh]

O: Ask our DM!

S: Oh, any one of our DMs.

O: Any one of our DMs, but I'm particularly talking about when my poor husband had to DM.

S: Yeah, I'm thinking about the ‘whale’ incident.

[My husband regretted that our party had the ability to summon large creatures and portals on that day. ~O]

So Sam and company arrive at Petra.

O: For the non-documentary nerds among us, uh, Petra is an ancient city in Southern Jordan.  While it does contain more structures than the treasury (which is what I think they show here) uh, this is probably one of the most famous.  You may recognize it as the resting place of the Holy Grail in the Indiana Jones movies.  And as we were watching, I had a minor panic attack at the giant robots possibly breaking things.

S: Oh, and the giant robots definitely break things.  The Twins fight, and hit a wall or a fresco.  Revealing a hollow area behind it with uh, very noticeable giant robot bits.

O: [laughs] Then Bee takes aim at the wall and I have another panic attack.  Though to be fair, he's got very good aim and only makes what is arguably a very small hole.

S: Through the giant robot bits.  Sam enters the new hole in the wall and finds the Matrix of Leadership on the floor.  I guess, cradled in the hands of the Prime corpses?  Which- this is super morbid!

O: [laughs]

S: When he picks it up, uh, it crumbles into dust.  So, Sam does the only thing he can think of, he sweeps all that dust into his sock.

O: Time to go resurrect Optimus with dirty sock dust!

S: Is it the sock of destiny?

O: It is now.

S: I guess it awakens giant robots, but leaves buildings standing.

O: [snorts]

S: All the while uh, he talks about there having to be some sort of reason for everything that's happening.

O: Uh, to quote a much better character, “It's possible to commit no mistakes and still lose,” so Sam you're full of shit.

S: Yep, back with N.E.S.T. uh, they yeet Optimus’ corpse out of the plane and I believe Optimus has parachutes again here?

O: Probably.

S: I mean, if he doesn't that is just so much corpse desecration.

O: [laughs] And it seems like we arrive back where we started in the first movie, as it looks like they're back in that little desert town where the fight with Scorponok took place.  You know, they just- they're just gotta destroy it again.

S: And if that's not that same town it looks extremely similar.

O: Starscream begins firing on Sam and co as they head to the rendezvous location with N.E.S.T.

S: [sighs] The group splits up in order to draw the fire away from Sam.

O: Leo, Simmons, and the twins head off. Bee heads off in another direction, and then Sam and Mikaela head towards Optimus’ location on foot.

S: This seems like a bad allocation of resources but, ohh-kay.

O: [chuckles]

S: N.E.S.T. also spots Starscream, but he has released an EMP burst, cutting off all their communication.

O: Government weasel however, has landed safe and sound and is able to reach (and annoy!) the N.E.S.T. headquarters.

S: Yep and N.E.S.T. uh, headquarters is frustrated that weasel can contact them but they can't contact Lennox's group.

O: Simmons group stops uh, once they realize Starscream has stopped following them.

S: Megatron and Starscream (none too gently) land on the Great Pyramid.

O: God damn, more defacing world heritage sites?

S: Well, the Egyptian authorities would definitely have um, a case against them for this.  Because you know, they they charge people with doing dumb ill-advised things on the pyramids

O: I dunno how you're gonna get money out of Megatron but, alright! [laughs]

S: Eh, I'd go with the blood from the stone thing, and literally selling off materials from his body, but who knows?  That's also very morbid.  Um, Megatron orders an attack and Devastator forms out of more than the requisite number of constructicons from G1.

O: And Devastator makes our last Welker voiced Con for the day, bringing our number up to five-

S: And it’s-

O: -out of 12.

S: And spoiler alert uh, Devastator looks nothing like G1 Devastator, and also this is in like- the same location that Simmons and Leo are at.

O: Yep.  Sam and Mikaela though are continuing their march towards N.E.S.T.  All the while trying to avoid Decepticons, and thus hide in one of the nearby houses.

S: Ah, I like the lighting in the scene, the lighting is very nice.  So one wall is mostly structured from uh, glass bottles.  You know, provides some very nice ambient lighting without the need of electricity.  It just- it's very pleasant.  It's a very pretty look

O: Then we get a really nifty scene of the Decepticons looking for them that's basically, one big long continuous shot of it going out of a hole Sam is looking out, going around the scene and then going back through I think, the keyhole?  For the door to the house they're in.

S: Yeah, that sort of continuous shot's very nice.  You don't see those very often.  Sam catches a tiny Decepticon bug that comes through the hole, leading to them being found, and the house's roof being ripped off by Starscream.

O: They attempt to escape.

S: The Twins uh, begin to fight Devastator, while the combiner tries to eat everybody with his horrifying trash-compactor-crusher mouth.

O: Mudflap is eaten, but doesn't go down easy and punches his way out of Devastator's mouth.

S: The Decepticons reveal that they are holding Sam's parents hostage.

O: But they're all saved by the timely arrival of Bee.

S: Ravage is killed when Bee rips his entire body off his spine??

O: How does Ravage keep ending up in two pieces in these things?

S: I think technically he might be in more than two pieces, but ughhh...

O: Meh, I'm just saying- there was the spine in one hand, and the rest of them in the other hand, at least from my memory.

S: I know, it's just- god, unfortunately this feels a whole lot like shucking an ear of corn.

O: [laugh] Oh, god- yeah... yeah... yeah.

S: [sighs] I'm sorry for that image.

O: Sam uh, tells Bee to take his parents out of danger once they- he- they've gotten them away from the Cons.

S: Uh, Sam's dad argues with him in what we're assuming is supposed to be a counter to his no caring attitude about Sam going off to college in the movie.  One of the only positive things is his dad's care- for his dad's character is that he does seem to want to take care of- take care of his son.

O: Pity doesn't show more.

S: Yeah.

O: Okay, tangent, but you may have noticed we're being less descriptive about things that are happening at this point in the story.  That's because we basically hit a point where the remainder is a gigantic action scene and not really much else.

S: Yeah, it's a whole lot of punch, punch, switch scene, punch, punch, switch scene.

O: Yeah, so-

S: Shoot, shoot, shoot.

O: We're trying, but if something doesn't really make sense it's because stuff is swapping and not a lot is happening.  Oddly enough this movie is actually a good example of why you should keep things simple, from a storytelling perspective.  And yeah, I know if you examine the basis of this movie's plot it is pretty simple, but instead of just, you know, actually going from point a to point b there's just a ton of waypoints kind of getting in the way of the action that’s actually happening.  Uh, like, “Oh well, we'd better go over to this set for yet another action sequence!”  Nothing that's happened in the last 30 or so minutes has really mattered to the overall plot because it's just action sequence, action sequence, action sequence.

S: Yup, dirt, explosions, running, falling down.

O: Rinse and repeat.

S: There is nothing of substance here.  Speaking of pointless, it's back to Simmons for absolutely no reason.

O: Uh, Megatron's been on top of the Great Pyramid doing nothing this entire freaking time and now he chooses to shoot down a helicopter.

S: I don't think he's even been monologuing.

O: Yeah, he hasn't!  He has- that's what I mean, nothing!  He's not even doing anything interesting!

S: Simmons takes the radio from the pilot of said downed helicopter and follows after Devastator as he heads toward the Great Pyramid.

O: American Army porn.

S: And Air Force.  And Navy, [sighs] probably?

O: [groans]

S: Sam and Mikaela are spotted by Ironhide and the three Arcees.

O: Two Arcees are downed by some Cons after their one speaking line in the entire freaking movie.

S: Devastator begins climbing the Great Pyramid.

O: Is Megatron waiting up there for Devastator?!  Is- is it just too much work to wreck the pyramid by himself?

S: He's got all of these lackeys, he wants the lackeys to do shit for him.

O: Oh, lord.

S: Simmons follows and contacts the Navy.

O: Okay- okay, the only thing I can think of here is that they needed Simmons to do something.  Otherwise, why the heck do they call in military reinforcements then call in yet more military reinforcements!?

S: More American Army porn.

O: [sighs] Devastator demolishes the top of the pyramid.  Yes, yes, destroying more history, yes, yes.

S: Yet more American Army porn!

O: And then Megatron chases Sam and Mikaela as they approach N.E.S.T.

S: After many, many, MANY, explosions, Sam and Mikaela reach Lennox.

O: Who's like, “You'd better have a good reason for us to be here!”

S: “I got a sock full of dust!”

O: [laughs] Yes, you do Sam.  Yes, you do.

S: [sighs] Jetfire shows up, taking out a Con with his cane.

O: Then Scorponok, you know, from the first movie, immediately shows up just to stab Jetfire and ruin all of our days.

S: You know, his triumphant return after disappearance in the last half of the previous movie.

O: And now for the moment you- we-

S: [sighs]

O: We've all been waiting for!

S: Ugh… [unintelligable]

O: Do you want me to do it?

S: Yes, please.

O: Simmons says, “I'm directly below the enemy scrotum.”  Why would you say that?  Why would you say it like this?  Why wouldn't you just say, “I am directly below the enemy”!?  Why did you feel the need to add the word ‘scrotum’ to that sentence!?! [laughs]

S: The enemy's anatomy should not be that important, but I guess Bay thinks balls are important- er, hilarious.

O: Important and hilarious.

S: God.

[I am furious that we didn’t know about this clip until AFTER we did this episode, but yeah, this exists.  Bay was SO proud of this joke. ~O]

O: Uh, Devastator comes to pieces after being hit by an experimental Navy railgun from the ship that Simmons has been contacting.

S: Yeah, back with Lennox and company, Epps proves yet again to have one of the best lines in the entire movie.

O: They throw some smoke grenades to provide a target for the Air Force.

S: Unfortunately, this smoke's just a teensy bit too close to the party.

O: Epps responds with, “It wasn't my best toss, okay!?”

S: [sighs] In the ensuing chaos of the airstrike, Sam runs ahead to try and get to Optimus and Megatron appears out of the smoke to shoot him.  Or to dramatically close in on him, I guess.

O: Megatron gets pushed back by some of the N.E.S.T. covering fire and nyrooms away very awkwardly.

S: Except, what's this!?  Sam's dead.

O: [loudly] WOOOOOOOOOOO!

S: Mikaela's not so happy about this though.

O: Uh, sad music plays.  Dialogue can be heard faintly as Lennox and the N.E.S.T. crew begins CPR.  His parents show back up... again.  For what purpose exactly?  I think this would have read just fine with Mikaela just being the only one sad about Sam.

S: I don't know.  If this is their attempt at pathos, but it kind of sucks.  I mean, I know that the audience is supposed to feel bad that this guy's dead but-

O: I don't! [laughs]

S: They did a terrible job of making me care, but now is the moment where Mikaela tells Sam that she loves him.

O: They had a whole thing about this earlier in the movie we really didn't go over but they were having kind of an argument on who should say, “I love you,” first.  Blah- blah- blah- blah-

S: Ah.

O: But now, a window into Sam's psyche.

S: What, you mean it's not just going to be boobs, boobs, and more boobs?

O: No- no the seven Primes appear in a vision to Sam.

S: Oh god, does this make Sam a Prime?  I really hope not…

O: Oh my god!  One of the Primes is voiced by Bulkhead!  And by Bulkhead, I of course mean his voice actor Kevin Michael Richardson.  A man with a huge filmography that I guarantee you've heard at least a dozen or so things that he has done, if not more!

S: The Primes tell Sam that he is worthy of being a Prime.

O: Bulk, why do you have to hurt me in this way, and by extension, EVERYONE?

S: The magical sweaty sock dust reconstitutes into the Matrix of Leadership.  And, I mean, I'm kind of concerned that some of the remaining sweaty sock dust is now blowing away, or maybe this sock will be some sort of horrifying museum relic.

O: Considering what he did with his shirt, I wouldn't be surprised.  Um, but I don't really care, because this just means the movie is getting closer to its inevitable conclusion.

S: Fair.  Sam then takes the Matrix and stabs it into Optimus chest.

O: Stabby stab?  We bring him to life by giving him another stab wound?  Magical stabby stab?

S: I think this is how you get robot zombies.

O: Good thing nobody had any Dark Energon on hand.

S: Or the Hate Plague.  Of course, the Matrix is immediately snatched up by the Fallen.

O: Because we want to have our cake and eat it too.  We need to bring Optimus back to life and also to get the giant sun stun gun going too.

S: So, the Fallen activates the Star Harvester.

O: High levels of shut up and die reached as the Fallen finally reveals some amount of fighting prowess with a bitchin’ anti-gravity staff.

S: Yep.  Jetfire, who has been sort of hanging out this entire time having a giant hole in his chest, sacrifices himself to upgrade Optimus so that he can go fight the Fallen.

O: Jetfire, buddy, sir, you deserved better.

S: He did.

O: Here's one of the few scenes where Jolt is visible as he helps Ratchet get Optimus battle worthy.

S: Yeah, um, the electric whips were somehow needed for this for some reason, somehow.

O: Optimus, having gained the power of flight, begins to fight Megatron and the Fallen.

S: But not before destroying the Sun Harvester.

O: Megatron's face is badly damaged as Optimus moves on to the Fallen and rips off the Fallen's face saying, and I quote, “Give me your face!”

S: Then Optimus rams his hand through the Fallen's chest and uh, rips out and crushes the Fallen’s spark.

O: Starscream, being the sane one here, suggests that he and Megatron flee.

S: Megatron, considering that he is dealing with both a head injury and a missing arm from the elbow down, takes Starscream up on his offer.  The Fallen having been defeated, Optimus returns to the ground and shrugs off all of Jetfire's parts

O: [You] couldn't have kept anything?  The gun?  No, nothing.  Was it a frame thing- did you miss the slimmer frame, Optimus?  Just be honest here, you know.

S: I mean, maybe he considered it kind of morbid having like, corpse parts on him?  I mean that would be-

O: Fuck if I know.

S: That would be kind of morbid, but yeah... it feels like it's just showing disrespect to Jetfire's sacrifice. [sighs] Then we move back to Sam and Mikaela, interspersed with shots of N.E.S.T., the Navy, Simmons, etc.

O: Ah, yes, soldiers, brothers in arms, kissing!  Soldiers, brothers in arms, KISSING!

S: [laughs] Sorry, sorry I was just- like, my brain put those together at first and not what it actually was.

O: [laughs] I mean, to be fair, that would probably be a more interesting movie!

S: Yes.  Optimus thanks Sam for saving his life.  And I have many questions Optimus.  Did you have- what did you see Optimus?  What did you see?  And we end with an Optimus monologue about the two races working together in the future.

O: Ohh, Optimus, you’re- you're just going to be discarded in two movies, sweetie.  Um, don't trust the US Military, we do not have a good track record.

S: Yup.  Linkin Park, much like the first film what plays us out as the credits roll.

O: And thus, we are divided from the rest of the movie.  A New Divide if you will.

 S: Oh, is that a name drop?

O: It's the name of the song. [laughs]

S: Or title drop, yeah.

O: [laughs]

S: Alright, so what's your take?

O: Wow, I really don't like that movie.  The last 30 minutes- hour- whatever, felt like an eternity where the only thing happening was explosions, and robots maybe punching each other and I just didn't care about anything that was happening?  The early part wasn't really much better, but at least the characters, you know, were talking to each other.

Um, the writing overall isn't good for like, dialogue and again, some of the events just kind of feel like why did this even need to happen?  And I do think it's worth mentioning that this was filmed during the 2007 writers’ strike.

Additionally, regardless of how bad I personally find the dialogue, I still have to give props to Peter Cullen's performance of Optimus.  Even the first time I saw this movie, I was sad that Optimus died.  And keep in mind at the time I didn't know anything about Transformers, aside from seeing the first movie.  I feel like Cullen puts a lot of heart to his performance of Optimus, and I really can't think of a time where it's felt like he's phoned it in and I really do appreciate that.  Even here, even with the, “Give me your face,” line.

What did you think, Specs?

S: Well, I don't have nearly as much to say as you did.

O: [laughs]

S: Um, I liked Jetfire.  The SR-71 Blackbird is a very neat plane, and I mean, I liked it before this movie came out.  So, I liked him for more than one reason.  But he was cranky, and delightful, and a jet, and the best part of the movie.  Everything else was just kind of painful.  Yeah.

O: Yeah, I think that's fair.

S: Yeah.  I mean, I liked Mikaela too, but...

O: Yeah, she- say goodbye to her because she's not gonna be in the next movie.  This is the last one with Mikaela in it.

S: I think she got the better part of the deal.

O: [laughs] Pity we can't make as graceful as an exit.

S: Yep.

O: But that's it for us now.  Uh, we will be posting another episode.  Uh, where we go into more detail on what we personally would have wanted to see in this movie.  But we know this is running along as it is, and I think based on our estimates this should be around the same length as last year's episode so we're gonna split it.  We are also aware that you personally may not care about us trying to you know basically fanfic- fix this so…

S: Mm-hm.  Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @AftersparkPod (all one word).  And various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast, such as AO3, iTunes, Spotify, and Youtube, just to name a few.  And feel free to send us questions on Tumblr, Youtube, or AO3.

O: As always, thank you so much for listening.  Happy (probably belated by the time this is posted) holidays to everyone.  2020 has been a hell of a rough year, so please stay safe and we will be back with more normal episodes soon.

S: Toodles.

[Outro Music]

S: Sam grabs out a knife and begins carving the Cybertronian siblings into the ground um, I mean, where did you get the knife?

O: You mean symbols?  You said siblings.

S: [laughs] God- oh god, I can’t talk!

[officerofcybertron]

Headcanons 1: Matrix

Is Ultra Magnus worthy to carry the Matrix of Leadership?

The short answer to this question is: Yes, but he doesn’t want it or need it, and it’s complicated.

The origins to this question naturally date back to the original G1 movie; when Ultra Magnus was introduced, chosen by Optimus Prime to become the new Autobot leader, and then… didn’t. It was never really covered as to why that was. Instead Hot Rod was the token ‘chosen one’ character, and the explanation was left at that. The Matrix didn’t choose Ultra Magnus.

Ultra Magnus explains to Optimus when he’s given the Matrix he’s ‘just a soldier’, but is this really the only reason there is? He’s just not ‘leadership material’?

We can all agree that G1 is a national treasure and that the plot points do not make that much sense in many regards. Rodimus Prime showed up in the movie, awe-inspiring, powerful, and confident, but then in the following cartoon show it became a running joke that he would learn a ‘valuable lesson’ in leadership, either from Ultra Magnus himself, or from other members of the team when they corrected him on his actions, and then be right back to behaving like a child in the next episode while Ultra Magnus essentially led the Autobots in all but name.

So; what does this have to do with Transformers Prime? The character of Ultra Magnus is fairly changed. G1 Ultra Magnus was a lot more relaxed, not quite so rule-obsessed, and had an understanding of what it meant to be a family. He was also known to laugh, and act as a guardian figure for Daniel.

Conversely Ultra Magnus in Prime is the very definition of ‘strict’. I like to think that if you were to look the word up in a Cybertronian dictionary, Ultra Magnus’ picture would probably be listed under the word as an example. He’s a stranger to the family environment, and it is likely that jokes roll right off his armor plating.

The answer is rather obvious, although a bit too simple: they’re both soldiers who’ve never been comfortable playing the ‘leading role’. Not because they aren’t good at it, but because it’s not something they’ve ever wanted. Instead, working as Second in Command, while still giving them the ability to direct their troops, and help their soldiers, still gives them the ability to defer to another authority.

But more importantly: Ultra Magnus does not want the Matrix.

I think the Matrix knows this, and therefore does not choose Ultra Magnus.

Not because Ultra Magnus is not worthy. He’s definitely worthy. Rather the Matrix, being what it is, I think can see into the spark of a Cybertronian presented to it and it can see this quietly hidden truth. A truth that, maybe, Ultra Magnus never spoke of to Optimus Prime. That he’s uncomfortable with being set up to be the next Prime. That he doesn’t want to be a Prime.

Obviously, this is in the case of the G1 cartoon, but I think this same aspect could be applied if ever Ultra Magnus from Transformers Prime were to be offered the Matrix.

On top of this, let’s be frank: Ultra Magnus doesn’t need the Matrix.

I know in Prime he was shown to have issues with leading Team Prime, but I also take a lot of my Ultra Magnus from the prequel novels, and in the prequel novels he was a bad-ass leader. Confident in his soldiers, and described as ‘daring, strategically ingenious, and courageous to the point of recklessness’ by Alpha Trion.

It’s honestly a huge curiosity of mine what would have happened had Ultra Magnus and Starscream gone head to head in a real battle. The two of them were never pitted against one another, but I have a feeling a fight between the two of them very easily could have decided the fate of the war.

Why? Because when Optimus and Megatron fight one another, almost nothing else exists around them. So, on a quick tangent imagine that happening. Optimus, with Ultra Magnus, and Megatron with Starscream, go into a full-on head-to-head battle. Optimus and Megatron almost immediately size one another up, because there’s no one else who’s going to take on their opposite number. That leaves Ultra Magnus and Starscream to direct the rest of the battle.

Imagine, just for a moment, how ridiculously amazing that would be story-wise. I honestly couldn’t tell you who would win. Starscream and his Seekers would have air superiority, but Ultra Magnus and his wreckers are bat-shit crazy and not afraid to fight dirtier than any other Autobot as long as it gets the job done.

Back onto the topic at hand: Ultra Magnus’ Wreckers followed him into the battle of Fort Scyk and then when Optimus and the rest of the Autobot forces intended to flee Cybertron on board the Ark they remained with Ultra Magnus to hold back Trypticon and to try to keep an Autobot presence on Cybertron.

They fought with him against unbelievable odds. Against Shockwave and his abominations. Facing death every time they went out and knowing that the next mission would always be a suicide mission.

You don’t do all that and not have faith, feel loyalty, for the person leading you.

Ultra Magnus doesn’t need the Matrix to be a great leader. He old enough that he has the experience; has the compassion needed. He’s capable..

Would he have accepted the Matrix if Optimus had died and passed it onto him? Yes, but I don’t think he would accept it as the next Prime. He would accept it for safe keeping. Knowing that the next Prime wouldn’t be him. He would accept it because it was expected of him and it was his responsibility.

Which is why I actually enjoyed the ending of Predacon’s Rising where Opitmus took the Matrix out of the equation.

If Transformers Prime had gotten a proper sequel, and not the disaster that 2015 RID offered us, it would have been amazing to see how Team Prime evolved in the absence of a sacred relic which bestows the right to lead. By removing the Matrix as the be-all-end-all, it would have allowed someone – like Ultra Magnus – to step up into that leadership position and help Cybertron flourish.

And I truly do believe it would have been Ultra Magnus who stepped up. Not because I feel Bumblebee or Smokescreen are incapable of being leaders. They both have leadership qualities. As does Arcee, and even Bulkhead. Rather I feel it would be because of Ultra Magnus’ already extensive experience, and service record, that would catapult him up to the most likely leader going forward.

I realize that people may disagree with me, and that’s totally fair. Until I started really looking into Ultra Magnus myself, about the same time I started this blog, I didn’t have a very high opinion of him, but the more I read, the more I thought, I realized that there was so much untapped potential here.

Ultra Magnus is a mech, an Autobot, who should be proud of what he’s accomplished and he is most certainly worthy of being a Prime, but the part about his character that I love the most?

He doesn’t need to be a Prime to be a Leader.

He doesn’t need the Matrix.

And it’s better that way.

[firebirdtransam68]

Do I Really Like Giant Sentient Mecha Robots That Much?

Before I got into Mecha anime, I got into Transformers in the form of a live-action 2007 film; later, I got into G1 Transformers, and much later, I discovered Voltron: Defender Of The Universe (and especially Beast King Golion), and then ever since, I got into what I call Mecha robots, especially Super Robots, in which most Transformers works contain.

I discovered the anime show Transformers: Micron Legend (or the original subtitled version of Transformers: Armada) and Transformers: Superlink (or the original subtitled (and cleaner) version of Transformers: Energon), and I got completely hooked.  The two shows were very similar to The Transformers (1984-1987) and The Transformers: The Movie (1986), as well as Voltron (especially in Superlink); however, I may like these shows even more than G1, which I like even more than the first Bayformers film.  One reason may be because the Unicron Trilogy Transformers are a lot more human than the G1 characters.  Another reason may be that the shows have darker and edgier moments that make G1 look like a typical Disney show, but also have very heartwarming and heart-wrenching moments suitable for different ages (adults, included).  Another reason may be that I just find Mecha robots quite attractive.  (There are many other reasons, but I can only list a few that stood out more to me.)

In fact, I really like G1 and the original Unicron Trilogy to the point that other anime shows I like do not get as much attention from me.  For instance, I started delving into Sonic X (which is a really good anime show if viewed in its original language with English subtitles), and there are moments where I would obsess a little over it; however, the Transformers franchise dominated my interests, and I obsess over it even more than the Sonic The Hedgehog franchise.  2019 was the time where Transformers (especially the original Unicron Trilogy and G1, as well as Bumblebee (2018), on occasion) was my most favorite fandom of all time that I could remember; the fandom that emotionally and intellectually impacted me the most; even the original Sonic X and the earlier games involving Shadow The Hedgehog did not give me what most fans call “the feels” as much as Transformers did.

And then came 2020.

That was when I started getting into another work involving giant sentient Mecha robots much like Transformers (and yes, it is an anime show much like the two Transformers Unicron Trilogy shows), and the robots are just as human (if not more) as the Transformers in Micron Legend and Superlink.  The anime show is called Brave Police J-Decker.

The show is so much like Transformers, despite many differences (including the fact that the Brave Robots are from Earth, and that it is not recognized by mainstream robot fans as is the Transformers franchise), and it really impacted me emotionally, even more so than the original Unicron Trilogy (for instance, seeing Micron Legend Ironhide die in Superlink was very devastating since Ironhide is one of my favorite characters; but seeing Deckerd die in Brave Police J-Decker was profoundly devastating since he, too, is one of my favorite characters, but is much more loveable).

Ever since, I almost forgot that I was a Trans-fan.  Now I obsess over Brave Police J-Decker; and even more so, since I was severely impacted emotionally and intellectually (my IQ dropped when I saw the titular robot and a few other robots just like how many individuals’ IQs drop whenever they see puppies, cats/kittens, bunnies, young birds, and infants (which do not affect me as much), and I actually went “AWWWWW!” at one point, which is very surprising, since I rarely find anything to be cute!), and it is a miracle how (figuratively speaking, of course) my teeth did not rot from so much sweetness; and the characters are much sweeter than 100 kittens, 90 puppies, 50 young rabbits, 60 young birds, 10 infants, 20 young children, and literal rainbows and flowers (even that much would not affect me as much, since I am immune to such stuff, and my IQ would not even drop one bit).  Perhaps the reason why I rarely find anything or anyone to be cute is because many of the animals, characters, and offspring that are supposed to be adorable (especially on pictures and videos) is that they are one-dimensional, and that their looks (especially displayed in a caricaturized manner) is their only trait (which I do not find impressive, at all).  Perhaps I found a few sentient Mecha robots very appealing because of how complex their characters are, besides a few youthful features.

For instance, in Micron Legend (Armada), Ironhide (Demolishor) appears to be a teenager or an early twenty-something year old in many angles, and has a voice to match his apparent age, even though he is thousands of years old; he is quite naïve, kind-hearted, and is quite sensitive (he cried at least three times); however, he is a Decepticon (which is an Autobot’s enemy), can be really mean, is aggressive, stubborn, and is probably the most dangerous Transformer one would ever come across; he is also an anti-villain/anti-hero, much like Starscream is (whom I like as well, but not as much as the other Decepticon who happened to have an Autobot’s name).  In Superlink, he was allied with the Autobots, and cares about them just as much as he cared about his Decepticon comrades; however, he is very loyal to Megatron/Galvatron, so loyal that he had no choice but to betray the Autobots, despite his seemingly free-will; he never got angry at the Decepticon leader even once.  When he died in Episode 16, my heart nearly shattered, since I had high hopes that he would still be allied with the Autobots (and I even wished he had more screen time like he did in Micron Legend); when Irontread came along, I really wanted Ironhide back so badly that I almost stopped watching Superlink (yet kept going, because there are new characters that are quite likeable (including Shockfleet, Wing Saber, Springer, and the combiners), and when I found out Ironhide and Wing Saber shared the same seiyuu, I kept going until I saw the last episode).

Also in Brave Police J-Decker, I started really liking Deckerd since Episode One for similar reasons.  He is extremely sweet and kind, is very good friends with the human child Yuuta Tomonaga to the point where they are like brothers (as Seia put it in Episode 25), has wise moments, is diligent, dedicated, devoted, determined, tough, brave (of course), a great leader to the Brave Police, and an ideal law enforcement officer many of us wished we had.  However, he does have flaws; he is really naïve at times (which I believe is a minor flaw, but a flaw, nonetheless), does NOT take being neglected very well (as shown in Episodes 13 and 40), is not a perfect robot (having a 98.91% accuracy in shooting because the rest of the percentage is his human side (which makes sense, since having 100% accuracy would make him a calculating, soulless robot), or being inexperienced compared to most AI robots in most fiction), is very emotional and can act on impulse in such turmoil (looking at Episode 5 where he almost demolished the whole army when they were about to kill Gawn, whom has a still-alive Yuuta and Seia’s brother, for instance), is very dangerous (especially if you hurt those he really cares about), and has shown vulnerability many times (he does get hurt, and in the most severe cases, he is incapacitated to the point where he needed protection from the other Brave Police and the humans).  And yes, he does have youthful features (like most, if not all, Brave Police robots).

The only prominent difference between the two characters I mentioned are that one is on the villain’s side (but is an anti-hero/anti-villain), and the other is purely on the hero’s side.

That set aside, hopefully when I settle down a little more, I will get back to finding more Transformers content (the advantage of having a new fandom to obsess over is that I do not have to wait for more content for the Unicron Trilogy and certain G1 material to be posted), and incorporating a new fandom to find more content about, in the future.

No matter what happens, I will still be a Trans-fan, even if I find a new interest temporarily, for a long period of time.

[ratgirl112]

So I just wanted to share something that I just realized, it's about the Aligned Continuity. I realized that this continuity is in a couple year difference, don't believe me? Listen to this.

So it starts in Transformers: Prime, there's an episode where June asks for Optimus and Ratchet tells her that him and Bumblebee are on a scouting mission. This mission is in Rescure Bots. Optimus and Bumblebee are shown a lot in Rescue Bots and Bumblebee doesn't have his voice, so it makes sense, plus it's confirmed that Rescue Bots is part of this continuity, so maybe all those times that Bumblebee or Optimus aren't shown in TFP, then they were would be in Rescue Bots.

Another thing is the fact is the fact that Bumblebee get his voice back, so Rescue Bots then shows Bumblebee with his voice, so this would either be shown in the same time as Robots in Disguise or The TFP movie, it depends on who you ask.

Another one is Cody's age, he's only grows a little bit in Rescue Bots(and we point out the small timeline parts in Rescue Bots), then in Rescue Bots Academy he's either an older teen or an adult. So that can only mean one thing:

-Miko, Raf, and Jack are still around, probably adults by the time of Rescue Bots Academy or middle age

-Russel and Denny are around, Russel most likely being a young adult or mid 30's, and Denny probably being in his 40's

The ages are a bit off, but the point is that they are still around, even June and Agent Fowler, my question is why they aren't shown? So many people like these characters, and the timeline is never explained in the show, so who knows.

This is about it, I just thought of it and had to put it somewhere, if you have any questions, please let me know and any additional info will be good.

[radioactivepeasant]

Something that's been on my mind lately

So, to start out, I love doing my weekly prompts. They stretch my brain and imagination. And I love that y'all have been enjoying them.

But at the same time, writing one every morning takes a lot of time and energy. Right now, I'm at a place in my life when I have less of that. As I get older, I'm working more hours, and I have less free time. Not just for the prompts, also for things like longer writing projects and art projects. I've been here almost 4 1/2 years. And I've been doing the fic prompts for over a year now. I enjoy them, but I would like to be able to devote that mental and emotional energy to other things as well, rather than just being on tumblr every single day.

Starting around the middle of this month, I'm going to start cutting back on how many prompts I do per week. It will be gradual, so they're not going to all vanish at once. This may look like doing Monday and Tuesday prompts one week, and Wednesday, Thursday, Friday posts another week. Or it may be broken up differently depending on what my irl schedule allows.

In the future, I may eventually do just one prompt a week. And some of this, besides the time it takes, is that I'm running out of ideas for a few of them. For example, I'm so far behind in Voltron, that I have no idea what's happened in the finale. I'm still on them finding Matt. But it's hard for me to keep up with a show when I get out of sync with it. And to be honest, while I still enjoy it, my interest in Voltron has been waning. For Transformers Tuesday, I'd been forcing myself to write with no inspiration because the Bayverse movies made me totally lose interest in almost the entire franchise. Thankfully, the Bumblebee movie did a lot to help me with that.

So what does this mean for the future of Radioactivepeasant? I'll still post prompts, like I said, this will be gradual. But everything has a season. For a while, I was doing the "RPCB Files" (anyone remember those? Those were fun), and then it was the prompts. Someday it may be something else. The point is, I've been basically blogging almost daily, sometimes working up prompts in the wee hours of the morning before work, and I've been feeling like I need to slow down. It's as much for my mental/emotional health as anything else, because honestly sometimes I stress over the prompts. So we'll see how it goes, wish me luck, everyone!

TL: dr lately I've been spending the majority of my free time on this site, writing fic prompts every week day. I plan to cut down the amount of prompts I do per week, and spend a little less time on tumblr as a whole. I'll still be here as a blog, I just intend to slow the pace and take things easier. Thank you all for all the support you've shown for my prompts from the beginning!

[darkspellmaster]

Transformers Bumblebee movie theories. *Spoilers Ahead*

So right now I’m on a Bumblebee Kick and I figured why not do a few theories as to what is going on with the new Movie-verse (because to be frank out side of a few nods there is no way that this is not a reboot) and what could potentially happen in the future for the next movies coming out. 

So spoilers and all that junk up here if you’ve not seen the movie and all theories under the cut. 

So I figured let’s start with the big one because it’s probably on everyone’s minds right now. 

Where is Megatron? 

So as most everyone recalls in the 2007 movie Megatron was kept on ice in sector 7 and we were told the back story of that, what with Sam’s great grandpapa, or was it the great great great grandpapa, finding him and then he ended up, some how, at Sector 7. 

This was how we saw him in the movie back then. But as of 2018 Bumblebee there was no sign of him at Sector 7 and they had no idea who or what the Transformers were. If he had been there then the idea of the Decepticons making first contact with them wouldn’t have been such a big deal and they would have acted differently here. However, the fact that Simmons says that this is the first contact with them outside of Bee crashing in and the fight with Blitzwing, we can then safely assume that they don’t have him on ice. 

So, where is he? 

According to an interview with Travis Knight, there were storyboards written out detailing a flashback scene where while Prime was battling the Decepticons, Megatron stalked forward in a slow motion taking out Autobots as they came at him as he was coming after Optimus. 

However for some reason this was cut, and we only see the shot with Shockwave commanding the troops. 

The scene was never filmed, so we can’t qualify that as cannon in regard to this movie. However, this doesn’t mean that it’s completely ruled out. While Megatron wasn’t shown that doesn’t mean that he isn’t on Cybertron. As was shown by Shatter and Drop Kick finding BB, transformers can track signals. If Megatron was on earth and awake they would have easily found him. If he’s not awake and in stasis that’s another story. However I don’t think he’s on Earth. 

Optimus sent Bumblebee there for finding a base for them. Given how Shatter acts, it sounds very much like they didn’t know of Earth prior to this, and why would Megatron leave without a group to go with him. Unlike in the 2007 movie it’s clear that the Autobots here are thinking as an army and a well oiled unit of resistance fighters. This to me means that the Decepticons have home rule. Because of this...I think that Megatron is on Cybertron still. Or if not on Cybertron itself then it’s Moon base and is plotting a way to find Prime and the others. So I doubt that he’s frozen anymore in Sector 7. Though I think they may play a part in the future movies helping out the Autobots. 

Why was Cliffjumper on Mars and how to save him....

So question here is, why was Cliffjumper on Mars to start with? Honestly my guess was that he got Bee’s signal before Optimus and went down to help his little buddy. 

According to old G1 lore, Cliffumper is just a bit older than Bumblebee in age, making him kind of an older brother to Bumblebee. Cliff has always been reckless and thus the reason for his name. But he’s smart, so I have to wonder how the heck the Cons managed to track him. Unless they spotted his ship and crashed on Moon if Saturn too. 

So why was he on the moon? Honestly I think he got shot down by Shatter and Drop Kick. We never saw how they arrived on Mars, and, given the pods seem to be a one way trip, this makes me think they have a ship some where around earth. Either on Moon itself or around Earth’s orbit. 

Now, my only thought was that Cliff’s main objective was to go help Bumblebee, and probably protect him as there are hints in the movie that Bumblebee is more than likely one of the youngest of the transformers and, like Cliff, a scout. 

His death honestly was something that hit me hard, but there’s one glint of hope. Unlike in Transformer’s prime where he was run through where his core was, ie, his spark got extinguished and he went gray, this Cliffumper was cut down the center, but we never saw him fall apart sideways. Making me think that the spark area wasn’t hit directly. 

A spark can live for a while outside of the body. Or in some cases forever if you’re Starscream with a mutated one that doesn’t die easily. Cliff doesn’t have that though, as far as we know, so he’s probably not got a long time to live if he survived that attack by Dropkick. So how does one make it out of this? 

Option 1. Optimus finds him and puts him in the trailer, and there’s a possibility that the trailer area can do repairs to the bots. 

Option 2. Ratchet finds him and repairs him. Given that the Bots are heading for the earth, it wouldn’t be hard for Ratchet to land on Mars and then, find a way off planet. 

Option 3 is the most likely though. So as people know the Minicons can combine with larger transformers. It’s not that hard of a concept to maybe assume that one or a few could be on the moon of Saturn previously, if they choose to go with that idea. One could have become the a rover and discovered the injured or dying Cliffjumper and combined with him to restore him back to normal, or at least a patch job to get him to earth. Here it wouldn’t be a hard thought to believe that he could eventually meet with Optimus and Bumblee...

How Optimus got to earth.

Okay so I'm thinking that Optimus may have gotten a hand from either Elita-1 to escape the Decepticons, because we see him getting ganged up on and given we have Arcee in there we can assume that Elita and the other femme bots probably are around, or...

He was helped by Deadlock, who helped him escape.

Now if we go with the former than we can assume that Shockwave will have his hands full with the commando/guerilla team that Elita commands being a thorn in his side as he and his team get to earth and deal with getting a new base set up.

If its Drift, former Deadlock, it can set up some drama and intresting politics as we can see a Con switch sides and see how this effects both teams. Drift could also have come with him and be in hiding right now and would make an intresting protagonist.

So what will section 7 do now?

Given that Burns let them go, I think that you'll see him start to change over the department to something more akin to GI Joe or Nest, and have them helping out the autobots as he, and probably others, will learn the difference between the two factions and help the bots out in the future.

[nerdyfangirl1999]

Bumblebee

Okay, so my little brother is really into Transformers, a giant fanatic. I know things about Optimus Prime than I should because of him. That being said every show and every movie we have watched together. And even though I actually have grown to like the animated tv shows, I can barely tolerate the actual Michael Bay Transformers movies. Alas, there are aspects of those movies that I find to be very cool or hilarious but what I hate is the over-sexualized scenes in EVERY film. My brother is a 15-year-old Autistic kid who doesn’t understand scenes like when the two main characters are making sex jokes or when a LITERAL TRANSFORMER is shown LITERALLY HUMPING the Main female lead in the second movie like wtf.

Soooo when my brother wanted to see the new Bumblebee film, I was not as enthusiastic. However, I actually loved the film and here’s why

- The film is very nostalgic sticking to themes of the original Transformer tv show in the 80′s. It sets during that time and gives great music from that time especially certain rock bands

-The humans in the film fit with their roles. It’s easy to see why a group of space robots would even want to mingle with awkward teens or the military!! Bumblebee lost his memory and broke down so it makes sense that he would need a human to guide him/fix him. The decepticons in the film needed help from the military to find Bumblee using their satellite. 

-The flow of the film makes sense and except for a couple of swear words, the movies hits right on on its intended audience.

- Now the biggest reason why I love this movie and why I thought it was such a step up was because of Charlie. Charlie is the teen that finds Bumblebee in the film, bonds and fixes him. Charlie is shown as an awkward teen with very bad social skills, not like a 22-year-old, popular of the crowd with no flaws. Her main problem in the film is her inability to get over her dad’s death because she still wants to keep a part of him with her. She struggles to fit in with the family she has now, especially with her stepfather because they seemed to have moved on while she is still in turmoil by that event. The one potential love interest in her life is her neighbor who she doesn’t even notice at first( but not because she is mean but because of everything going on) and who is just as awkward of a teen as she is. Their relationship actually starts as a friendship and is not overly sexualized at all.

The best part about Charlie is that we could see that she is a mechanic in the film. In the film, she is shown visiting an auto parts shop and being familiar with the tools even being smarter than one of the people who work there. She is the one that fixed her bike so that she could put a motor on it. She is the one fixing her dad’s car and she is the one that fixes up Bumblebee when she sees him there in the shop. In the first two Transformer’s films( Transformers and Revenge of the Fallen) the main female lead is supposedly knowledgeable about cars. She says in the film that she and her dad used to dismantle cars and then put them back together again. She is then shown at the beginning of the first film opening the hood of Sam’s car and trying to fix it. I honestly thought that segment of her personality had potential to go somewhere since no one would ever expect that from her based on the pretty girl stereotype. However, she was overly sexualized in the film that it took that amazing part about her away. When she was talking about fixing cars, the camera pans from her face to the lower part of her body. The only other time she is seen doing anything with cars is driving one at the end of the film( which was pretty dang awesome). Then in the next film, she is shown in a car shop but again overly sexualized shown on top of a motorcycle wearing booty shorts and a tanktop painting a lady on the bike. She had the potential of being a very great character and if you focus on it you see how great she actually is. For example, like how independent and snarky she is. How she stands up for herself when people look down on her just by how she looks ( like her boyfriend telling her she can’t drive his car because she might scratch it), how she actually tries to be part of the action instead of just going for the damsel in distress vibe. These parts were great but they were overshadowed by the oversexualizing of the camera and characters randomly telling her how hot she is etc.

With Charlie, we got to see past all that and into her talents and see more than just the fact that she’s a girl and pretty. I really loved that nostalgia kid vibe from this movies and I just had to talk about it. (Fyi, this is just my opinion, and what I focused on mainly. Maybe others didn’t like the film because it wasn’t accurate to the actual Transformers but I’m not going to talk about that because I’m not as confident about my knowledge in that area as others.)

[geek-gem]

Transformers Dark Of The Moon

I've finally seen the movie again after these years. Let me warn you, spoilers and I have a lot to say.

Their is really a lot to say about this movie. But I'm glad I finally got my to do list of watching the first three Bayformers now.

Another thing I'll be honest about I was gonna play the Dark Of The Moon game on PS3 but it requires more MB's to clear out but I decided fuck it I don't care. Especially it's a short game but I'm not doing that shit. I just wanna watch this film especially remembering this is a long film.

But back to the movie. I'll be honest and I'm not critic and my opinion may be invalid because lots of people hate Bayformers. We have a new continuity with the Bumblebee movie which I think is the best decision this franchise has done.

To me this movie while I like the first film from 2007.

After watching this and I'm still having some feelings after being it. But I feel this is my favorite out of the Bayformers saga. This is basically where it should of ended and should of let the Bayformers end with dignity. Or at least until a new director came along like Travis Knight or others.

Especially like I remember a movie guy named Cure4 on DeviantArt but he's gone from that shit. I agree with him and I'm thinking this is the sequel the 2007 film should of had.

I'm pissed and I hate that Age Of Extinction was the follow up to this film. Despite how people feel about this film, my God Bay tried to redeem himself after Revenge Of The Fallen a film that is like some sort of weird parody there the video game tie in's I see as the best version especially the PS3/Xbox 360/PC versions and even the Wii/PS2 versions.

Another thing I wanna reveal when I saw this film for the first time in theaters I actually used this.

I seriously wore that and it worked and it was awesome. It was a experience despite I felt nervous. I was young but what the hell it's gonna be 8 years since the movie was released. Especially the 3D was awesome when I saw it in theaters.

But back to the movie again I'm sorry. I'm not gonna make this a full review I don't wanna waste anyone's time.

When I think about it Sam is a lot better in this film. While I do feel some moments could be worked on. He should of apologized to Bee after he meets him I know Sam's angry. Especially this development of Sam wants to matter. This is much better then what we had in Revenge Of The Fallen.

Carly I honestly find more likable then Mikaela. Seriously I do especially that moment where she literally tells Megatron that he will basically be Sentinel's bitch if he doesn't do anything. She basically treats Sam with a bit more respect and well I like the relationship more then what Sam and Mikaela had.

Lennox and Epps were always great. Especially Epps during the scenes in Chicago. Simmons is seriously entertaining in this and Dutch is a blessing.

Let me just talk about Dylan Gould. This guy he's been on my mind. I made two joke posts him deleted the first one of he's been waiting for that betrayal towards Sam.

Patrick Dempsey honestly and his portrayal of Dylan is a performance that left an impression on me. Because I was actually surprised by his reveal of who he actually was. But seriously this man is a dick and in a way I like him. Despite seeing in the film him talking about making tough choices and him being on the winning side. Yet over the course of the film he starts to take it a bit personal.

While I kept thinking before seeing the film he was enjoying it maybe. But my view on it changed. I just think Patrick Dempsey kind of owns the role.

Yes we should talk about the robots and let me be honest. What I love about this film it's basically the Decepticons strike back. They are basically winning in this film. I love the Chicago invasion scene.

I do feel like the entire Bayformers series yes their should of been more Transformers screen time. Especially the Decepticons in this case. While I feel in Revenge Of The Fallen I can tell Starscream feels like he's a little snarky in some parts. While I know he's kissing up to Megatron to cover his ass. I would of liked some what....I don't know more snarky shit or something Starscream would say or do. Maybe even during his confrontation with Sam he mentioning after the Decepticons win that he would overthrow Megatron and become the winner.

I remember when I was young when I saw this for the first time. For Starscream I had hoped he would betray Megatron yet that would be so much for one film. Because that's Starscream from G1, Animated, and other continuities. At least one last hurrah before he dies.

Especially I remember when I was young I wanted Skids and Mudflap, along with Leo to come back....I was young and I enjoyed Revenge Of The Fallen a lot more okay. Wouldn't mind Leo but their seems to be a bit much but what the hell I wanted Dinobots in this film.(well it's said Skids and Mudflap are shown as cars but they were supposed to die....they did die by Sentinel in the movie comic)

I dig Soundwave in this film. Even Laserbeak these guys are douches but would of liked to seen more Soundwave. Especially I like this little dynamic between Dylan and Soundwave I know that's weird of me to say. Would of liked to seen more.

Shockwave in this film seriously I was hyped for him when I was young and playing the prequel game. I feel it's stupid he's not as important. He should of had more lines and more interactions. I even agree with a comment on YouTube he should of been in the Africa scene.

While he is badass it's stupid how he goes out but give him a better send off and a fight with Optimus Prime. I wanted to see more Shockwave and I think it would of been better if he was voiced by Mark Ryan. Frank Welker didn't do a bad job and he actually had two lines spoken in English.

At least his driller creature is cool. But seriously after all the hype and I want to just put some promotional stuff.

Whatever if this one is official or not. It's just in Shockwave's own words......logical. Or my own words fucking logical.

The reason I'm saying Mark Ryan because of his English accent and I want to be reminded of Corey Burton. Sorry for sounding weird.

Let me say I feel Sentinel Prime is probably the best antagonist actually we've had in a Transformers live action film especially in the Bayformers. Characters like Shatter and Dropkick are great. Even Lockdown was nice. But I liked Sentinel. I'll be honest I was actually surprised when I witnessed his betrayal when I was young. I thought the Decepticons were gonna force him to use the Pillars maybe even Shockwave but what we got was something else.

Also I really liked the scenes with Optimus and Sentinel. I do feel we should of gotten more and had them be longer. Especially I like Optimus in this. I do see their was this father and son or brother like relationship that Bay talked about. But would of liked to seen more.

The other Autobots are alright cool. I do feel the whole Que/Wheeljack thing was just seriously stupid. Especially now before Bumblebee a Wheeljack design that was more accurate. Tragic about the way he died.

Looking back at the film theirs not a lot of Cybertronian scenes but they leave an impact.

Also I really wanna talk about the ending with Optimus, Sentinel, and Megatron. We should of gotten more Megatron I agree.

But the scene where leading up to Optimus killing Sentinel seeing it in action after going through the movie. It is awkward in a way.

Yet I'll be honest Sentinel basically deserved it. In fact of the Decepticons, and Dylan fucking deserved what they got. Because after everything they did their to me was not a way shit would end peacefully or something. Including your hearing this from a Steven Universe fan a show that deals with pacifism and other shit.

I do feel and I've talked about this before but I might delete it now because I'm gonna mention it here. But I feel if the scene went like it was Megatron who kills Sentinel or this dark idea of Sentinel killing himself or even himself dying from wounds. Especially giving Megatron and Optimus more of a fight even with Optimus haven't one arm.

Or hell seriously Bay should of gone with the original that was kept in the novel that Megatron teamed up with Optimus to kill Sentinel and Megatron would stop what he's doing. Also hearing that it would of explored Megatron more. That ending would have his look in The Last Knight make sense that he went to Cybertron after Dark Of The Moon and over time he decided to go back leading the Decepticons. Instead they had to kill him off and the whole Galvatron thing. Even though Megatron got what was coming to him.

Gonna be honest the Starscream death while I like the idea of Sam having the courage to take on Starscream and even killing him. But I do feel Starscream should of died a more I guess epic death.

Especially I weirdly wanted Sam to be all Cade Yeager shooting Decepticons and some how killing them. I mean you Sam jumping on cars and even sliding under them.

Gonna say before seeing the movie I kept thinking Dylan in his fight with Sam should of died a more brutal death. Such as Sam telling him to shut up after the messager comment and beating him to death. But Dylan's death is perfect. Seriously he gets hit in the face with some sort of pole thing and dies by the pillar.

Listen I'm sorry for rambling a lot. This became more of some review or reaction. The action was seriously nice and the special effects, score was always excellent.

Gonna be honest while I wasn't emotional much throughout the movie. Did feel emotional over the, "The fight will be your own" scene and felt a little at the, "No Prisoners Only Trophies" scene....that should of had more weight. I'll be honest when I was young I was expecting Sam for some reason come out of hiding yelling no in slow motion, surprising everyone then the Decepticon drop ship gets hijacked.

Gonna say did enjoy Wheelie and Brains I like them. Glad they we're still around in later films.

I think I've talked too much. Basically I think this is the best Bayformers sequel, this is what we should got gotten as a sequel to the 2007 film. It's better then Revenge Of The Fallen, Age Of Extinction, and The Last Knight.

My only weird complaint that isn't towards the movie.....Dinobots could of been in this some how.....during the battle of Chicago. We should of gotten Dinobots vs the Driller. Grimlock voiced by Vin Diesel or whatever I've had that weird casting idea I think for years. Or even Devastator in this because it's a huge open battle with so many opportunities. While I understand Michael Bay didn't wanna go larger like he did with Revenge Of The Fallen. I'm just disappointed that the next film we got after this was Age Of Extinction.

Tags dealt with sorry that got wrong, their was a lot to talk about. Glad I could talk about this and again I finished my to do list of rewatching the original trilogy. Bring on the new cinematic universe in the Knightverse that started out with Travis Knight's Bumblebee I'm ready for more excellent films.