#I was only in those circles because I thought the mere concept of it was hilarious. And it is it really is

[cowchickenbeefpork]

if you want to meet people online who feel like god spun a wheel when making them just hang out in trans sexology spaces. You will not dissapointed

[baldval]

Since you made one for Valentine’s Day, how bout celebrating Halloween with the main hazbin cast? Maybe Charlie is throwing a Halloween party or something!

HALLOWEEN W HAZBIN! ₊˚��♡

characters: vox, charlie, valentino, lucifer, alastor

warnings: nothing :)

a/n: idk if i like alastor's part, he's just so hard to write imo😭😭 pls tell me what you think guys🤞

VOX:

꩜ it’s obvious to anyone that vox looooves halloween. 

꩜ he’s claimed to you on several occasions that it’s his favorite holiday.

꩜ and that getting the chance to spend it with you only makes it better. 

꩜ and how does vox spend Halloween? two words.

꩜ haunted house. 

꩜ you never really understood the concept of having those on hell.

꩜ hell is already scary as it is.

꩜ however, being an overlord, having the control that vox has, eliminates some of the fear most people normally feel.

꩜ so a haunted house is his favourite place to go when he wants to feel some of that adrenaline.

꩜ he picked you up that night and away you went, ready to get your scare-factor on. 

꩜ darling, if you get scared, just let me know!” he pointed to himself with a grin "i'll stop the whole thing, i swear".

꩜ “afterall, I wouldn’t be much of a man if I can’t protect the person I care about most.” he smiles at you and you can't help blushing.

꩜ you stuck to him like glue, laughing and screaming through every house you went through.

꩜ it was well into the night before you both decided to call it.

꩜ your throats raw and blood pumping from the adrenaline.

꩜ but even in your stupor, vox still managed to take your breath away once he brought you back to your apartment.

꩜ his arms circled around you as he kisses your face.

꩜ you bury your face in his neck as you hug him goodbye.

CHARLIE:

꩜ as far as charlie is concerned, you can’t celebrate Halloween without a good time.

꩜ and to her, the best way to do that is with a party!

꩜ she throws one once every year at the hotel, because, how could she not?

꩜ “you’ll come right? you have to! pleeeease!”

꩜ she’s so adorably persistent, eyes all puppy dog wide and hands folded.

꩜ your answer is obvious.

꩜ and it had her jumping up and down throughout the whole lobby.

꩜ upon arriving at the hotel, you were completely in awe of the change of scenery.

꩜ what once had a reddish vintage look now practically screamed 'halloween'.

꩜ costumes, decorations, snacks, bowls filled with candy, games, music.

꩜ you knew your girlfriend sure took things to the extreme, but nonetheless, it was always fun.

VALENTINO:

꩜ valentino loves halloween.

꩜ you could say he likes it for the aesthetic and you would be right.

꩜ he'd invite you over that night to spend the evening with him.

꩜ you thought maybe you were gonna go to a halloween party, somewhere filled with decorations and people.

꩜ but when you get to his house you only see a mountain of scary and halloween themed movies piled high on the coffee table in his living room.

꩜ along with a bowl of popcorn, soda, and a selection of only your favourite candies of course.

꩜ “are we… gonna watch all of these?”

꩜ "well duh. why? you got something else to do?”

꩜ unexpected, indeed, but who would complain?

꩜ it was hard to pick which movie to watch first since he had such an extensive collection, but you both decided to kick things off with the classic 'the nightmare before christmas'. 

꩜ after that, 'carrie', 'scream', 'anabelle', 'halloween' too of course.

꩜ name it, and valentino had it. 

꩜ you sat on the sofa between his legs the entire time, bowl of popcorn in your lap, and you silently fed him pieces of the salty snack while he unwrapped and fed you bits of candy. 

꩜ it was the perfect way to spend halloween and you wished you could have gone at it all night.

꩜ but after the 7th film, you had promptly knocked out against val’s chest, popcorn bowl empty.

꩜ but instead of waking you up, he merely shut off the tv and covered both your bodies with a blanket, kissing your forehead.

LUCIFER:

꩜ you're getting ready as you anxiously wait for the king of hell.

꩜ the hotel was organising a halloween party, and of course you couldn't miss it.

꩜ and of course you were going with lucifer.

꩜ you couldn't help but feel a flutter of excitement mingled with nerves.

꩜ just as you were beginning to think he might not show, you heard a knock at the door.

꩜ with a mischievous grin, he strutted over to you.

꩜ "sorry for the delay, darling," he said, offering you his hand. "hope you didn't wait too long."

꩜ you accepted his hand, feeling a thrill run down your spine as his fingers intertwined with yours.

꩜ "not at all," you replied, trying to sound nonchalant despite the butterflies in your stomach.

꩜ together, you walked in to the lobby, greeted by the lively sounds of the halloween party in full swing.

꩜ you were sitting at the bar, just chatting.

꩜ "i have to go to the bathroom, i'll be right back" he says with a wink as he leaves.

꩜ "hmm so he really is in love with you" you hear husk, the bartender, say.

꩜ "oh so you've doubted that?"

꩜ "not really, it's just that it's the first time i see it in live action".

꩜ "what do you mean?" you question him.

꩜ "i mean, do you see the way he stares at you as you talk." he fills up a glass. "pure adoration."

꩜ you feel heat creeping up your cheeks and turn around before husk realises how flushed you are.

꩜ lucifer gets back and it isn't long before you find yourselves in the ballroom.

꩜ with a twirl, he pulls you into his arms, and the two of you began to dance to the infectious beat of the music.

꩜ as you moved together, laughter bubbled up between you, your clothes swishing in tune with the music.

꩜ "you know," he says, his voice low as he spun you around, "there's nothing i would want more in the world that being with you."

꩜ you couldn't help but smile at his words, feeling a warmth spreading through you.

꩜ "well i can assure you it goes both ways." you replied, caught up in the moment as you gazed into his eyes.

ALASTOR:

꩜ it does surprise you that the radio demon has no idea what halloween is.

꩜ he comes up to you and asks you why the whole lobby is filled with pumpkins and little paper ghosts and black and orange streamers.

꩜ you simply smile and say, “it’s halloween!”

꩜ “oh…”

꩜ it’s not that he didn’t know what hallowen was, he explained to you.

꩜ he just wasn’t really aware of what occurred during the holiday itself.

꩜ so you decided it was time to change that. 

꩜ you told him to meet you at your room, not giving him any more details than that.

꩜ when he arrived, you took him by the hand and led him towards one of the best places you could possibly think of to give him a proper introduction to the spookiest night of the year. 

꩜ the pumpkin patch. 

꩜ upon arriving, alastor seemed absolutely awestruck at all the different things there were to do.

꩜ the corn maze, hayride, petting zoo (to which you found out that alastor is a major softie for animals).

꩜ and of course, pumpkin carving.

꩜ it was so cute watching his expressions.

꩜ how his brow would furrow when he tried removing the guts and how his tongue would poke out when he began working on the face.

꩜ you almost forgot you had your own pumpkin to carve. 

꩜ you both left in the later evening, hand in hand as the stars twinkled above you. 

꩜ “so what did you think? did you have fun?”

꩜ you were expecting a nod, or a quick little hum. 

꩜ but he straight whisked you off your feet and into his arms.

꩜ and you knew that right now, the smile on his face was truly genuine.

[classyblen]

Helloww !

Title: The Ghost Protocol: A classy's Guide to Uncovering True Loyalty

🌹 𝙷𝚎𝚢 𝙱𝚎𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚂𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚜! 🌹

--Today, I want to delve into a concept that might seem a bit unconventional but holds profound meaning in our rapidly changing world: ghosting. Not in the petty or immature way we often hear about, but rather as a thoughtful strategy to discern true friends from mere acquaintances.

Yeah, you heard me right. I ghost everyone even my closest friends. Why? Because truth doesn't come served on a silver platter; it often hides behind the shadows, waiting for the moment to reveal itself.

🚦The Master Plan:

Picture this: I turn off my phone, and the notifications go silent. No texts, no DMs, no Facetime calls just me, myself, and the echo of my own thoughts. I sit in my cozy space, sipping on my favorite drink, and I wait. It’s a test of loyalty, of love, and most importantly, of authenticity. Whose footsteps will I hear approaching my door? Who’s going to care enough to check on me when I turn the lights off?

📍Why This Method?

In a world where everyone is glued to their screens, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the noise. Social media showcases a facade everyone’s living their best lives, but how many are genuinely there for you when the glam fades? Ghosting gives me clarity. It shrouds my connections in mystery and separates the ride-or-die friends from the mere acquaintances.

When you remove yourself from the chatter, you allow the genuine souls to shine.

Real friends will be the ones who not only notice your absence but actively seek you out.🥀 They’re the ones who won’t hesitate to knock on that door, even if it’s a bit of a trek. And let’s be honest, those who don’t show up? Well, babe, it’s time to reconsider their place in your life.

🪴❤️ But Wait, Why Is This Classy AF?

Listen, this isn’t just about testing friendship; it’s about self-discovery too. In these moments of solitude, I can reflect on what I want, who I am, and what kind of energy I’m bringing into my life. It's empowering to take that step back and evaluate my circle, to cleanse my energy of backstabbers and fair-weather friends. By ghosting, I reclaim my time and my peace. 🌷

The Beautiful Part:✨

When the doorbell finally rings, and I see the faces of those who genuinely care, it’s magic. It’s a reminder of the beauty of human connection, and it reinforces the bonds that matter. Those moments of reconnection are pure gold, reminding me that I am loved, cherished, and seen for who I truly am.I urge you to consider this approach in your own life. Take a break from the constant connectivity and allow yourself to observe with intention. You might just be surprised by who cares enough to seek you out.

💬 Join the Conversation!💋

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

Have you ever tried ghosting to test your friendships?

What were your experiences like?

💌write below and let’s connect!

And if you enjoy this kind of content, don’t forget to follow me for more insights into navigating friendships and meaningful relationships.

So here’s your challenge, lovely souls: Ghost for a bit and see who comes looking for you. Let the knocks at your door reveal the truth. Because in the end, life’s too short to be surrounded by those who don’t value your energy.

I LOVE YOU ALL!!🎀

[arikihalloween]

why do you follow artsy bug back on tiktok I thought you didnt support problematic and disgusting pppl

Did you check my following on tiktok and then came back here to specifically ask me about this ? That's kinda weird /lh

I saw that Bug made a return with new boundaries, and clear indications that they've learned from their mistakes and is trying to to better

So I followed again to see the developpement

But also, it seems you didn't follow what has been going on and the new infos on that specific situation

For one, it has been proven J and Bug merely enabled K's behavior, and most of the instances were situational and due mostly from a lack of boundary from what I've seen

There was no ill intent whatsoever and things were taken too far out of personal bias against all the creators involved (including K)

So as far as I know

J and B didn't groom, they made a mistake which was to enable a 17yo who approached them with nsfw (it was mostly Java btw, Bug was barely in those vocals to begin with)

Mind you, all the parties involved were like, 17, 18 and 19, which is still in the middle zone of teen and adult and as such, they'll make immature mistakes (you don't received the world's wisdom upon reaching 18 yk)

It's hypocritical to hold them to an impossible standard and try to keep the water muddy about what really happened by reducing them to "unredeemable disgusting problematic people"

And what really happened, again, was two immature young adults with a minor in their friend circle, being approached by said minor with nsfw, and failing to keep their boundaries clear

And they got called out. And made the right moves. Which was to apologize, cut contact with the minor, and improve themselves so the mistake won't happen again.

I'll still hold both Bug and Java accountable for their mistakes, I still don't follow Java and only refollowed Bug on tiktok to see their evolution, because Bug took visible actions to change and second chances are a thing, you know ? If Bug does something problematic again, I'll unfollow and probably block.

If musicboxtune has been allowed a second chance from people after being called out for trying to talk nsfw on call while actual children were present, being a shitty person, stealing ideas and forcing people to nsfw rp with them, why can't Bug be given a second chance after a bad joke and accidentally enabling someone they thought would turn 18 a month or two later ?

Bug showed improvements, I want to see if they'll keep those improvements.

Now typing this all out, I realise it's the first time I voice all my thoughts on the matter publicly

From day 1, from the first doc by Exposer, I felt something was off. The screenshots are weirdly cropped and there was only claims about the vocals. And as the situation unfold, it became abundantly clear that what actually happened wasn't important

It all felt like a weird power play, trying to ruin someone's reputation to rise by stepping on the crumbles

As soon as someone would get called out, I'd see 3-4 replies about people saying they'd take the ocs/AUs or advertising their own version of a concept

Right of the top of my head I can think of 5-6 people who stole either Java's or Bug's OCs

Not just AUs, OCs.

Do yall even realise that after all of this, Java and Bug have leverage to sue a whole bunch of people for cyberharassement, defamation and plagiat ? Yall realise ocs fall under original content and thus copyright, don't you ?

The enabling of nsfw, with the proofs that are out now, would mostly rule in their favor imo, because K is shown lying about their age a few times, deflecting blame and even said themselves that they were enabled, not groomed

Speaking of K, don't get me wrong, I'm worried about them. From day 1 it was clear there was someone else influencing them, which wasn't J and B. There had to be someone that brought up the "grooming" idea and K went along with it. There had to be other people K showed the nsfw too, other adults who likely also enabled, possibly intentionally contrary to J and B

Hell, just last week, there was a whole drama on twitter during which it was found out that an ADULT 'friend' of K IMPERSONATED them and made a NSFW ACCOUNT to "GET CLOSER TO K"

Like, fr protect this kiddo ?? After everything that happened how the fuck did people not notice this kinda behavior around K right away ??

And this person wasn't Java, nor Bug.

Now that I'm at it rambling, doesn't it feel so easy to blame Java and Bug ? They were and probably still are popular artists, it's easy to talk about fame and power dynamic (even if on the internet it doesn't actually mean much especially on a scale like this case bfr)

Everyone scrambled to try to claim Java and Bug's ocs right after they got called out. People have been waiting for this. Java had already been in a drama the year before at this point and there was still clear resentment leftover from then.

I'm not saying it was all planned out, it feels absurd to believe this was all a conspiracy to get rid of some popular artists

What I am saying tho, is that it was easy to blame the two popular artists who already had resentment about them, and then muddy the water to hide the involvement of many in the situation

How come we never held accountable the other adults present in that same server who were also on call with Java and K ? They could've also said something to stop the enabling

How come we don't know who K sent nsfw to, aside from J ? How come aren't all of the people who followed that nsfw account held accountable either ?

I disgress sorry

I hope that gave some food for thoughts for you anon tho

As a last note, thank you for asking me about this /gen

Although a dm would've been preferable, I supposed you prefer your anonymity which is fine ig

If I follow someone really problematic, I prefer to be told and shown proof, and I'll unfollow (or block)

I got nothing to hide, hence why I'm not trynna sugarcoat my thoughts on the whole thing

I made my own choice on this matter with the various doc that have been made available

If you want to stop supporting me and my work, that's your choice

Have a good day/morning/afternoon/evening/night

[mahayanapilgrim]

FOLLOWING INSTINCTS

The Vajrayana is very much based on mind, and therefore feelings and inclinations are important. If you have an uncontrollable urge to follow someone, it may be a continuation of a certain guru-student relationship you had in your past lives. In the case of following your intuition, conventional ways of assessing the guru are not necessary.

When Milarepa first laid eyes on Marpa, Marpa was plowing a muddy field of barley in a cold wind. It was all rocks and slush - nothing remotely resembling the brocade, incense, and parasols we so often associate with gurus these days. But upon encountering this man, Milarepa was so moved that he felt a bodily sensation. It's believed that Marpa stopped working, surveyed Milarepa from head to toe, and then asked him to finish plowing the rest of the field. He also offered him a little wine.

And there began the great Kagyu lineage, which went into the ears and minds of some of the greatest kings, queens, and emperors this world has ever hosted, including those of the Qing dynasty.

This relationship could not have arisen merely because of Milarepa's mundane aspiration for a dharmic connection.

There must have been a residue of a long-existing karmic link between those two.

Even some of my own students, who I sometimes refer to as my "victims," have approached me without much sober assessment.

After a long search for a spiritual path, Mr. Watson from Australia ended up with me after having some significant dreams. He woke up instantly trusting me. Ms. Coelln from New York City says she knew she had a connection with me when she first laid eyes on my feet in 1996. She thought I was wearing Japanese tabi socks, and this alone made her decide that I was her guru, so she started attending my teachings.

Mr. Peters reckons I became his Vajrayana master because, after his countless supplications for teachings, I finally gave him instructions in the men's toilet at Denver International Airport, just before I flew away.

Mr. Peters had always been awed by brocades and thrones, but somehow the gentlemen's toilet at the airport did the trick. Another one of my student-victims, Stephanie, claims that upon hearing my theory that Van Gogh could have achieved enlightenment if he had the right view, she knew I was her teacher. She says it was as if she were hearing things for the very tirst time, and that was the beginning of our relationship.

So we are led by our emotions. But if possible, this is where modern Dharma students should be careful. The devil's advocate "head" must be invited to rein in the touchy-feely "heart."

If someone truly inspires you, this is good, but to be a vajra master, he or she must have the skill and method to crack open your cocoon. If someone can do this, no matter how seemingly undistinguished he or she may be, this person is your master.

It could be a khenpo with no rank at all.

Appearances mean very little here. I admire those who follow Alak Zenkar Rinpoche. He looks like a hot-bun vendor on a street in China, but appearance is definitely a deception in his case. When it comes to dedication and contribution to the Buddhadharma, especially within the

within the Tibetan lineages, he surpasses anyone with colorful robes and gigantic names.

Within my own circle of groupies, there are a few old fogies whose first encounter of me was when I was hanging around in the cheap pubs of London, wearing jeans and a T-shirt — hardly looking like a Tibetan lama. Somehow they became Vajrayana students. Today when I see them, it's encouraging because it confirms the Buddhist concept of karmic debt. Their approach to me as a Vajrayana teacher did not begin with all the usual props and sound effects.

So it's absolutely understandable when people are taken when they meet someone like Surya Das, who looks 110 percent Jewish, with his overgrown beard and oversize belly. His presence and his speech, and his very pushy being, inspires them. Not only inspires but unravels their cocoons and prevents them from going astray.

Our normal, rational assessment does not always need to take precedent. This person who can wake you up becomes what we call

"guru with the three unsurpassable kindnesses." Even if the guru doesn't teach with moving lips, he can be your master. It's very individual. In this way, you can even get the nature of the mind transmission from someone like David Noodle.

The Guru Drinks Bourbon?

Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse

[phantomato]

oohh! for the ship ask game, any of what you want to answer: snape/lily, james/lily, blackcest (any specific ship), and always tell me more about tom/edmund pevensie please ❤️

Oh this is so fun! I’m going to do Tom/Ed first and then a lightning round of the rest. 💖

What made you ship it?

I read Two Sides of the Same Coin in spring of 2021, which I found when I went through every fic in the “Bottom Tom Riddle” tag. It was a revelation! Both because it was a joy to find a fic that felt in line with my conception of Tom, which is rare, and because I had not thought about Narnia since I was a child. But I loved Narnia as a child, and why couldn’t this pairing work? They’re three years apart, they’re both in London or at least Britain, they’re schoolboys with rough personalities who undergo an unexpected journey into a magical world at roughly the same age (10 for Ed, 11 for Tom) and come out of it very changed. Only, Tom comes out as a worse person, and Ed makes out for the better. It immediately begs the question, what would happen if Tom had an arc more like Edmund? What might change if they knew each other, or even became friends?

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Everything. This is an OTP. Truly there is not a thing I dislike.

To be more helpful, I think one of the things I enjoy most is that their common ground is non-magical London, rather than either of their magical worlds. I’m a sucker for realism and making magical canons more “boring” by grounding them in the mundanities of daily life. Ed and Tom don’t belong in one another’s worlds, and I see either Tom or Edmund as primarily a visitor to the other’s magical space. However, there’s no obstacle to them existing together in our world. It’s that adjustment back to the mundane that challenges them, because they have to find ways to take joy in spaces they thought they’d left behind, perhaps even thought were beneath them—but it’s that vanity that earned their poor reputations to begin with, so I get to ask how to reconcile their pride and their experiences of magic with the world that they share and which also makes up a core part of their identity. They’re not going to lose the essence of wartime London, you know?

I also adore that they both have complicated relationships to age. Edmund, of course, because he reaches adulthood during his first visit to Narnia and then de-ages upon return to England. Tom because he attempts to evade aging through horcruxes, removing himself from the process entirely. They’ve got somewhat opposite experiences, but those feelings must set them apart from their peers and create a fertile discussion space.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

It’s a niche ship, but I do think there’s a trend in the existing fic to play Tom as more straightforwardly evil and Edmund as being seduced back to the dark side through him. I’m never interested in a flatly bad Tom, so it is perhaps unsurprising that in my opinion, Tom/Edmund is more compelling as an examination of how friendship (or merely relating to one’s peers) might steer Tom towards a different path in life. I’ve done this when Tom was young so far, and that is largely where I have ideas for the ship, but I do think there’s potential for a version wherein they meet in middle-age, when Tom returns from travels abroad and before or during the early stages of what becomes his first wizarding war. Developing a connection with a Muggle at that point would be very tricky for him, very weird, and middle-aged Edmund would have zero tolerance for that version of warmongering.

Lightning round: Snily, Jily, Blackcest

Snily: Don’t ship, they both deserve better than to be mired in childhood mistakes. I hope they can long-term be friends, in a world where they both survive, but friends with more distance and wider social circles than just each other. See each other once every month or two type of friends, for a quick lunch date wherein they talk about work and family and hobbies and don’t chew over the past at all.

Jily: Boo, hiss. I ship Jily and a messy divorce. They are utterly uninteresting together, and both have more compelling romance options elsewhere (Lily with Alecto Carrow is my rarepair, but really the idea is Lily/no one from her teenage dramas; James should blithely ignore Sirius’s desperate pining while they wank each other off after getting soused at the pub.)

Blackcest: I want to like it, any variation of it, more than I do. Oh! Wait. I definitely ship Walburga/Orion, in the sense that I really prefer their marriage to have had genuine love even if it’s not fully romantic/sexual or free of other issues. They can have their issues and their affairs, but they should have unwavering trust in some part of each other, and Walburga must truly grieve Orion’s death.

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] boutta send another ask before you can answer the previous ones.... bro girl (gnc) do you ever think about xiao post-teyvat... after lumine leaves..... like ive took an entire night just hours laying on bed once just to rot my brain on what's gonna happen after all that stuff i told u abt his ideal endinfg and shit i dont remember hhUEHAHAHAHGH BUT LIKE, THE CORE OF IT ALL that he learns and remembers lumine's words to heart; and there's the extra bit i said perhaps, on that time he won't have someone who had made his life a little better, no longer by his side, he would try to delve in a curiosity he had thrown away before. the desire to seek something new, something he used to have, put aside in priority for duty, and that he's not meant to indulge things like other living things do.

i love the thought that xiao takes the step of being in lumine's shoes, not entirely, but the mere concept of being a traveler. a wanderer. someone who's simply curious, who wants to explore what they've never seen. this is a life lumine is at her finest, other than the responsibilities she's weighed to. xiao would just want to Try and feel her experience. he'd leave liyue if only for a few days, still clinging to the thought of,... home? liyue finally felt like home than a place he's obligated to protect. and that's thanks to lumine too. his travels progress with ease with his own form of teleportation through the permit of wind, and he settles to visit,.. places. landscapes, nature,- to meet the people can wait later. for now, he's only here to explore and just... be.

it latches at the very center of my brain for weeks about post-traveler concepts like this like i DONT dig and do not like just outright Despise a xiao that misses lumine to the Extreme, someone to cling onto, because it defeats the purpose of him who's meant to be free and being able to choose. it doesnt mean anything about him forming attachments and loyalty, although hes still loyal to lumine in regards he sees her as a dear friend who taught him so much about life, the life he has and that he should cherish it. and he does, and will try, with all these little steps of moving forward without the hand that pulls you along. the people who cared for him who had been the hand that pushes along, will still push, but now all of his actions are made on his own volition. i just love that. i love that after lumine, he starts to live again. he slowly, but surely, know how to live.

so first of all "bro girl (gnc)" fucking SENT me im gonna cry why is that so funny to me i love that so bad

and second of all okay ngl i dont think about it OFTEN but i do. think about it. i Absolutely Do Think About It. and the way you've described it is flawless i have nothing to expand upon nothing to add no little comment to make im just. speechless. delving into the curiosity he had thrown away before. becoming a traveler, a wanderer. meeting people coming later, for now focusing on exploring, on seeing all that the world has to offer. still regarding lumine as such a dear friend. his actions being his own. learning how to live again. im going to lose my MINDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

not getting too close to mortals at least for a while at first, too wary of the pain he's caused them before, too aware of the degree to which he will outlive them (those from the chasm are exceptions, and he'll remember them for centuries after they're gone, even if only in fleeting thoughts). but meeting some of the other archons. becoming closer with other adepti. a small circle, but a circle nonetheless. <- cannot stop thinking about xiao and nahida eventually becoming friends dorry i had to say SOMETHING. its hard to imagine him and the wanderer as Friend friends, but i can see them crossing paths sometimes if they hadn't already met through lumine, realizing fairly early on that neither of them are human, working together pretty well whether in fighting or simple exploration. sharing a sort of wonder at the world, a deep will to be better, knowing what its like to exist solely for one purpose and knowing more still of what it's like for that purpose to leave them, to be taught how to exist without it, to further learn themselves how to exist without it. idk. very different people but a solid few similarities in their lives. xiao albedo friendship i hope i pray at least eventually idk i think they'd just Vibe.

still thinking about xiao and nahida as friends. xiao knowing a lot about various plant life and taking care of it, nahida teaching him the rest and filling in the gaps when he asks. learning how to sew. learning how to best care for the wildlife. learning how to use his hands gently. they're rough and calloused and for so long they existed to wield his weapon, nothing more, but now they make messy stitches and pat down the dirt around freshly planted flowers and ever so carefully pet the stray cats he sees in different cities. xiao is not a weapon. maybe he never was.

idont even know where my train of thought is anymore im just. im just. im just. o(-(

[blazingblorbos]

So the Golden Epic Trailer came out.... didn't it?

hmm I have many thoughts. many thoughts. And not all of them are Honkai (Impact 3rd) related, even...

I'll start off with something I've noticed about Star Rail itself (for a long while now). Because it k e e p s being brought back up in my mind every single time they release one of these trailers: The Star Rail team is absolutely INCREDIBLE at, what I'm going to call, "Discontinuous Storytelling".

Hoyoverse as an entire company and artistic team has an unrelentingly powerful streak when it comes to their over-arching storyline trailers.. Genshin's Teyvat Storyline Preview trailer; Zenless's Lore teaser; Genshin's Overture Teaser; Winter Night's Lazzo; the Stonehearts' Myriad Celestia Trailer (even in spite of the fact that these last 2 may have served as a distraction from colorism-related outrages during their respective releases...); ANY!! FUCKING MYRIAD CELESTIA TRAILER, FOR THAT MATTER (FABLES ABOUT THE STARS PART 1 SPECIFICALLY, I AM STILL NOT OVER THAT).... And of course the one that has had perhaps the most profound impact on me to date: The Elysian Realm Concept trailer

And I've noticed for a while now that the stories told in a lot of the Star Rail trailers have felt,, very disjointed from the game's actual story. With any of their other games, even Zenless! now included, their trailers have had direct, VISIBLE connections to the events that played out in the game's actual storyline around the time of the trailer's release. It was a real, well-thought-out, well-crafted, teaser for what was to come [very soon!] for the playerbase in-game. And it's possible that.. maybe the pay-off period is just 10x longer in Star Rail than it has been in any of their other games...

but things like the Ever-Flame mansion and Duke Inferno's family was something that was teased in a Trailer, during a PIVOTAL hype season! and yet-!! was NEVER paid off!!! DUKE INFERNO WAS INTRODUCED TO LITERALLY JUST BE KILLED OFF LMAO (don't get me wrong, he had some pretty banger lines during 2.1 but. dude dropped mayyybe 9 banger lines out of.. what 27? during a flashback and dipped). Constance was the ONLY one of the children to have even a sliver of importance in Penacony's story, and the sliver is near microscopic at best.

THAT^ was perhaps the strongest offender of this "Discontinuous Storytelling" that Star Rail likes to do. But even before that: there have been so many.. things. just! A bunch of random things!! in Star Rail. Select tidbits of information, a mere taste of a specific corner of Worldbuilding lore, that's been dropped on players through a variety of ways that have just,, not been followed through yet! They love expanding on their world through things like Myriad Celestia trailers. And it's fascinating!! But for all intents and purposes, those random lore tidbits do not really make an appearance in game... and it just leaves me wondering, well.. What was this for?

A screenshot of a conversation between me and my friend that I think helps to contextualize What Exactly I'm Talking About:

anyways. I just hope this Golden Epic narrative is not that.

______________________________________________

Onto the Honkai Impact 3rd brain...

I'd be lying if I said 'I wasn't concerned'. I am. For a couple reasons. One reason being.. yeah.. the much, MUCH wider audience that's about to be introduced to a very Honkai Impact 3rd [from now on, to be referred to as simply "Honkai", as I've always done]—inspired set of characters. I'm not tooooo concerned about that; it mainly exists as a "Oh boy here we go again" kind of thought sitting at the back of my mind, and I plan to promptly go about my own business and continue to avoid the circles of illiterate video game players that exist in every fandom .

But the other reason I'm concerned... is because I'm worried over just how much these new Star rail characters are going to parallel the Flame-Chasers and their story. Honkai means a lot to a lot of people, and it will always mean something different depending on who you ask. The Elysian Realm is no exception.

To me, Half the beauty of Elysia and the Realm comes in how their story ended. Emphasis on ended... The reason I love her so much is because she's gone. The reason she had such a lasting impact, is because she's not here anymore. When I played through Elysium Everlasting, I recorded my playthrough. The thing about that though... is that I have still never watched that recording back. For a long, LONG time, I didn't explicitly revisit,, any part of the later half of EE, because (I locked in so hard and) wanted what I took away from that moment to be whatever I remembered of the experience naturally.

The Flame-Chasers' WHOLE THING, was: Here is a recorded history of what we did. YOU are the sole witness to our story. Witness it, remember it, and carry it with you into the future; we are past our time.

The entire fleeting nature of the Realm is something I hold so dear to myself. Their message of us continuing where they left off is the shit that got me crying, bro. Elysia ended the Realm with her and the Flame-Chasers' own 26 hands... because they exist in the past; their only job was to inspire the future, not live in it.

Having Star Rail characters that parallel them is fine, and I'm sure it'll be great! (As long as they don't do what they tried to do with the Seven Shus. Oh yeah. I saw that one. I felt it, I'm not blind. I knew it was there, but I chose to ignore it because 1) it didn't land and 2) paying attention to any traces of it that did manage to land would have ruined what the Shus ALREADY had going for them. Which- for like half of Part 2 wasn't much -- it got better later). It's more than "fine" actually, they can do whatever the hell they want with them! "Honkai" is in the title for a damn reason. I just hope it's in good faith.

Anyways.. I'm interested to see what they do with them.

[reneilysteria]

Have you ever had a feeling where you wanted to say something, but took you seconds to compose on what to say?

The feeling where you're not sure what to share, thinking it would be inappropriate for the person you're talking to, unless you're well-prepared on what to say, as if it's curated for that person specifically.

It's difficult, especially with strange intrusive thoughts urging you to say this or that for the sake of reaction. And I, as a writer (and a normal human being), become uncomfortable with all those unnecessary thoughts until I make up my mind.

Metaphorically speaking, you could say it's like a bullet train going in circles and you're trying to catch it, merely grazing your fingers in an attempt to stop it. Simply put, your eyes are going around trying to dig through your memories on what concept or topic is best worth talking about.

It takes a lot of effort to find words as well, knowing that your vocabulary tests the limits of your mind on how far you can remember it and what it means as well. But if a miracle has it, maybe you'd create a word on the spot like "grandiose", which for some reason, is one of my favorite words that popped up in my head from one of my poems (that I may post soon, hehe).

Being creative has no limits, true, but it's only oppressed because of the brain's limitations. That's why there's this saying where you "can't make your character smarter than you". You can get creative in how they should go, but not their thought process. Now we know why some horror movie characters are dumb. /j

But there's no shame if you get clogged with your brain in thinking about what's the best subject to share, because sometimes, even a stage speaker has to brainstorm what's appropriate for his/her audience. If you do encounter it, especially in everyday conversations, perhaps a greeting can help! Or if you know that it's the topic you want to share, but are not sure what words to say...

Just go with "You know the..." Let them give you an idea.

[tingglywords]

When they think of love, some people say its a feeling. An attachment to another person. Some say it's commitment. Others, a mere desire. After all, humans are known to be social creatures.

But for me, I think my concept of love is rather… strange. Maybe even delusional.

At the age where I am supposed to be in a romantic sense, where I find another to do what love makes us do.

And yet here I am, pondering what love truly is. I believe that they say love is a complicated yet very important feeling for a person. In a general sense of mine, I think love is vulnerability; allowing yourself to indulge such a feeling that you only show to your partner. That in return they'll love you for who you are. Showing in many ways than the three simple words. The feeling of warmth pressed against your body for comfort and protection.

And yet, why am I so afraid of it?

What's so scary when all I have to do is let them accept me? What keeps me from finding a partner?

Maybe it's because of the fear of losing someone. Or maybe the fear of vulnerability. Or worse, being stabbed at the back.

Maybe it's the little me who watched– who witnessed two people fighting over where the one thought they loved them dearly. But they were wrong. Maybe it's the betrayal she saw one morning that left her scarred. Maybe it's the way she wondered why they stopped loving them or even if they ever loved them at all. Maybe she thought too hard to the point where she didn't believe if there's any love to exist in the first place.

She was too young to understand all of it. At a young age, I kept thinking and thinking; I tried to fit in their shoes and walk a million miles just to know why they picked that choice. When I grew up, the concept of love altered my perspective. I forced myself to think like an adult.

There was one time where I felt it. Turns out I was wrong. The fast heartbeats I thought was love is actually fear. The cold hands where they held me were actually nervous. The kisses placed onto me felt like daggers piercing me. And where the arms that wrapped around me felt like cages that's trapping me.

The phrase “I love you” is much more meaningful than they thought it would be. Using those three words very loosely like a breeze while I can't say it even just a whisper. When that sentence rings in my ear it felt wrong, it felt a jab in the heart that it hurts too much to hear. To actually say it fully from the deep of my heart feels like it is also wrong. I can't say it loosely like others do unless you feel like you mean it. But I find it hard to say it from my mouth because I didn't find any meaning to say it from the start. Where they do it simple but for me feels like a daunting task.

I don't like the feeling of it. I don't truly understand why I feel different from others. It should be the same for everybody and yet I'm here– pondering at the dead of the night just because I have a different take on the feeling that everybody experienced.

Then why do I crave it? Why do I desire the thing that I'm scared of? What's so important to want the things that others have and yet not for me?

People want it and need it. But I want it but don't need it.

All of it circles and contradicts my points and it's frustrating me. Even my friend told me that I was not a romantic person. I kept stumbling between the two to where I actually feel I belong.

Maybe I'm not meant to be loved romantically. Maybe they are wrong that there's a person when you at least expect it. Because when I do, I can feel the fears creeping up on me again.

Will I ever find it? Or do I just give up on it?

[steveskafte]

THE MARGINS CAGE Being a writer has nothing to do with writing. Literacy is merely a tool in aid of communication, a way to get our thoughts down on paper so that they can be read at a distance defined by time or space. Even writing for ourselves (like in a private diary), is merely an extension of memory. Scribbling down a series of otherwise meaningless marks that we've given meaning, so we can save ourselves from forgetting the information that they represent. For most of human history, the people we now call "writers" never physically wrote anything at all. That included teachers, historians, poets, comedians, singers, storytellers, and playwrights. All of their communication was oral, and all of their words were memorized. Later on, in the early years of the printing press, it was often lamented by intellectuals that upcoming generations would falter in their social interactions – because they would come to rely too heavily on reading and writing. Now, we've come full circle to find some looking down on those who prefer to speak and listen over reading from a page. They might claim that those who prefer audio books aren't "really reading", forgetting that the information conveyed contains the only true value that words are capable of having. Once again, it's important to note that whether written or spoken – words are merely representations of thoughts. They are not the thoughts themselves. I always struggled to remain interested in reading as a child, trying to keep my imagination active enough to see past the inherent dullness of black text on white pages. This was a strange experience for someone who felt like their mind was constantly crowded with thoughts and emotions in need of escape. I was too shy for conversation, but too easily distracted for extensive reading and writing. So I felt locked in my own head. The shift started when I fell in love with the work of songwriters. I was amazed at how their lyrics could do everything I craved in expressing emotion, all without the difficulty of having to translate from a page to my mind. Their songs made me want to be a writer, to work with words for the rest of my life – when all previous writers had left me feeling like this was an impossible mountain to climb. This is why I consider everything I compose in terms of thinking and speaking – not writing. Typing or handwriting are only methods of getting it across, just like public speaking or audio recordings, but the final result remains identical. All of my poems are written out loud, and only turned into text later. Even a short essay like this is arranged in my head a line or two at a time before being committed to the page. Perhaps this is all so painfully obvious, but I don't think we talk about it enough. Many folks are turned off from being writers because they've been told that there's only one way to do it. If you're dyslexic, it might be a struggle to read or write long strings of text, and unenjoyable even if you manage. If you've got a short attention span like me, you might never care to bother. That's part of why I love short form work, and why it's most of what I create – it's simply more accessible. I'm not the first to try and separate the concept of words from writing, but maybe I'm the first to say to you. If you've got a burning desire to communicate what's inside, you might feel more at home with a less expected method of working with words. There's a wonderful wealth beyond the world of text on pages. Don't let the margins cage you in. July 16, 2024 Phinney's Cove, Nova Scotia Year 17, Day 6092 of my daily journal.

[iatrophilosophos]

@thesiltverses, have you read against his-tory, against leviathan by Freddy pearlman? Honestly I'd be shocked if you hadn't since it is very literally about the consumption of gods as tools in human hierarchy (among other things).

I've been thinking about the wound tree camp in reference to these passages:

"The once-free human being increasingly becomes what Hobbes will think he is. The armor once worn on the outside wraps itself around the individual’s insides. The mask becomes the individual’s face. Or as we will say, the constraint is internalized. The ecstatic life, the freedom, shrinks to a mere potentiality. And potentiality, Sartre will point out, is nothing."

"We do not learn of the revulsion or of the expectation of human renewal from the dancers themselves because ignorant armies, Cyrus’s foremost among them, break up the circles.

We learn from the children and grandchildren who have not themselves danced, but who have heard.

In China the visions of Zarathustra’s equally shadowy contemporary Lao Tze are gathered up in books and come to be known as The Way.

In India the visions of one called Gautama are collected and come to be considered by masked and armored as techniques for removing the mask and armor.

In Greece, echoes of the hopes stay with the women who continue to dance and who remember having seen a new Dionysus emerge from ashes. Echoes stay with musicians who gather with Pythagoras of Samos in order to renew the hopes.

The main outlines of what Turner will call “the crisis cult,” Christianity, precede it by twenty-five or thirty generations. And the main outlines of the inversion of the crisis cult also precede it, and by at least as many generations. The Persian Cyrus who wears the mantle of Zarathustra and the later Indian Ashoka who wears the mantle of Buddha are both forerunners of Constantine and the Popes."

"Now, in the days of Potifex Maximus Octavian, there is an even greater movement, both abroad and at home. What Turner calls “the crisis cult” is only one among many parts of this movement. Unfortunately for humanity and for nature, the crisis cult that will eventually father the Western Spirit takes root in a dark corner where light is expected to shine forth from Optimus Maximus, from the lightless abstraction of Leviathan itself.

The “crisis cult” does not spring out of the air but out of the attempts of human beings to disencumber themselves of the integument that dehydrates them. And it is not a “cult.” It is a living way that becomes da cult only when it is re-encased in the artifice’s integument."

If you have read it, I applaud the application of the concepts--but if not, then that's even more impressive.

Pearlman presents anti-civilization anarchy as the logical conclusion of criticisms of *gestures* all this shit; and as an explanation of why reformist political movements are so co-optable. In the bookclub we're currently reading AHAL in, we're asking the questions: is anti-civilization legitimately a less co-optable frame of critique? (Could we kill every god? Can we remove the armor, can we refuse to foster new gods?) What lessons can we take from the crisis cults? The silt verses and especially the wound tree camp is a really fantastic thought experiment as to how pearlmans concepts are lived through in the imperial core and splinter movements.

I don't have any answers or a neat question to tie it all together with, and I have to go work on the garden. I just wanted to say that the silt verses was really relatable and lovely to me and a lot of my friends who are trying to walk away from omelas, and that if it offered a spark to anyone else, pearlman is a pretty nice next step to dream and start moving. Here in the US, hurricane helene (very proximate to me) is viscerally introducing yet another wave of people to the fact that the grid is already collapsing under its own weight, and expectably a lot of the response is prioritizing buisness as usual for those at the top of the hill and sacrificing a lot of human beings to the foundations. I think in a time of disasters, art can--at least hopefully, sometimes--help us fight against the knee-jerk urge to reaffirm the system when it is in crisis by helping us to feel the horror of buisness-as-usual moreso than the fear of something else; and take those opportunities when we are forced to function outside of the grid to take more steps further away (community water catchment and filtration, composting toilets, continuing to build medical cohorts that can function as much as possible independently of global infrastructure and all the precarity and violence that entails) instead of clawing back in and throwing more bodies in the mud behind us. Dreaming through art also gives us--albeit imperfect--opportunities to iterate. As the world is rapidly deteriorating and we--as pearlman puts it--are trapped with the armor of internalized civility, the need to rapidly try on idea after idea to retain resilience (at least, i think so). I don't read much utopian fiction but Woman On The Edge of Time, a pulpy mad liberationist utopian sci-fi from the 70s (with some unfortunate 2nd wave feminist baggage :/) was a great exercise in this for me, because it provided a scattershot of ideas from "blindingly improbable considering the climate crisis" to "that seems decent" to "i would hate this immensely and would like to make intentional decisions about how I relate to people for whom this represents utopia." The silt verses also provided this to me (and, if it's not too much to say-- i enjoy and respect your work immensely, but I doubt we'd be great friends in an isolated compound :p)

But, art, philosophy, even just posting, whatever is a tool--it's up to us as an audience to engage with it as such, not only exercising media literacy (e.g. wondering if perhaps, when a work seems very heavy handed about a basic theme such as "capitalism bad", it may actually be taking that as a given to make deeper statements within the canon of works that all agree on "capitalism bad" 🙃) but deriving experimental lenses with which to view the world and bouncing ideas through the people around us to find affinity and tensions. As creators-- we have infuriatingly, beautifully limited control over if that actually happens. Wahooo

Woah that got long, sry lol!

Hello! Writing first to thank you for such an extraordinary creation - as a piece of writing and even more so in performance. Every episode manages to somehow build on and outdo the last; you navigated that transition from a smaller scale story of grisly mysteries and personal crises of faith to a grand scale of war, revolution and political satire with absolute aplomb, and never lost that throughline of exceptional characterisation and sharp writing, always steering to the most interesting conflicts. You are always very humble in your public comments, but I hope you allow yourself a little pride, because this is absolutely top notch stuff.

I was struck by Paige's final words, that she hopes what they left would be found 'flawed, inadequate, yearning'. As the show went on, I was surprised - in a good way - that the show's politics gradually crystalised into a full-on nihilist anarchism, something perhaps even along the lines of Monsieur Dupont. (Muna used the 'a' word in one of the Q&As but it was pretty evident even before that). Taking these gods as a metaphor for ideologies and social systems, the scope of it becomes pretty universal - and unsparing. And, equally, hard to answer.

I wondered when the Many Below/Wound Tree was introduced what answers they would find: what political movement could truly resist cooption or becoming its own horrible self-sustaining egregore. And in the end the answer you express I suppose is a negative one: that even Paige's god of victims is a tool, one that must eventually be discarded to go into some unknown place beyond it all (to walk away from Omelas), towards something that narrative fiction - as a form of the 'endless words' that are derided so much in the third season - can no longer address. Which I respect - to pose the question is vital, even if the tools can't reach any answers if they even exist.

I think this struggle exists in many stories that address themes of making a break from the rapacious society that created them (and take it seriously) - your Baru Cormorants and Mononoke-himes. We can describe the problem vividly, but since we do not have a counterexample to hand, any story we tell about ~what is to be done~ and what it will look like when it is feels like it will be just as hollow as the spins and angles and parasitic fantasies that so many characters advance in the Silt Verses. (How could there possibly be a time where it finally works out, after we have seen all this? But then, what are we living for?)

To try to make this a question and not a ramble, I wanted to ask - what do you see as the role of fiction in addressing the horrible machinery of this world? Is it enough to pose the question particularly sharply, skewer the bad and inadequate answers, and leave the readers/listeners to figure out how to make the killing of gods concrete? How do we punch through the bounds of it all being Content, another product to be bought and sold? What does it mean to sit here and fantasise about people making that revolutionary break when there is no revolution to be had?

I don't know what answer I'm hoping for here, but given the themes of the show, I feel like this must be a kind of thing you've thought about, and probably have a far more developed line of thought than I do. And if this is a bit too much to drop in your inbox on a Saturday morning, I will say again thank you for writing this story and all the actors for making it so strikingly concrete - it truly means a lot, and I will treasure it.

Hi, and thank you for listening and for a beautifully written and thoughtful ask! ('Horrible machinery of the world' stopped me dead in my tracks.) And I am very proud, genuinely.

I don't have a good enough answer to your questions, and for me a lot of TSV is very much about trying to figure those answers out, but let me try and sum up my perspective bit by bit.

Is it enough for fiction to pose the question, without also proposing the answer?

I don't think it's enough for fiction as a collective body of work.

I'd argue there's probably a tendency towards open-endedness and irresolution in these individual narratives simply because it feels like a more honest acknowledgement that in real life, the foe has yet to take a real body blow and will not go down easy; that the foe, in fact, is the marketplace for the work itself and ironically profits from the popularity of stories with easy heroic victories over villains who represent capitalism. That these stories inevitably become a pleasant consumable that serves our complacency within the belly of the beast, a kind of daily tonic to reassure us that good always triumphs and regular people always come out on top.

I also think that the sheer scale and scope of the topic creates its own challenges; you probably can't engage thoroughly enough with both the dystopian question and your ideas for a utopian answer all in a single story, without ultimately turning the latter into that false reassurance, a quick handwave of a happy ending.

You mention Omelas, and I think we could illustrate the problem by looking at how LeGuin handles her two successive masterpieces:

The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas, which gives us the titular resource-rich u(dys)topia built on invisible suffering, and the dissidents who turn their backs on that world and walk out into the inhospitable wilderness in search of something better.

The Dispossessed, which as its premise gives us Anarres, an imperfect but sympathetic anarchist society whose adherents turned their backs on a neighbouring world of capitalist plenty to live out in the inhospitable wilderness in search of something better.

Anarres can very reasonably be viewed as LeGuin's direct answer to the question posed by Omelas, and she would have likely had it in her mind already as she wrote Omelas. But if the short story had ended with 'I hear that against all odds, the ones who walk away have successfully founded an anarchist utopia where hardship is everywhere but it's shared as equitably as possible. THE END', the amount of lazy shorthand and empty comfort involved in that happier ending would inevitably make it a dishonest and unserious offering.

Instead, Anarres is a starting premise to be interrogated at length over the course of a separate story, rather than a happy ending to simply reassure the reader that better things are possible - and even at the end of the novel LeGuin's unresolved questions are still very similar to the ones that we're left with in Omelas (and the same questions that I feel like we were knocking about in The Silt Verses, and which I guess you could argue are all lingering concerns at the end of Mononoke, as well): how and where can we find space to create and sustain a genuine alternative when the narrative environment of capitalism is so powerfully all-subsuming and constantly growing to fill the space? Do we need to disconnect entirely, vanishing as if dead? If we disconnect, how can we possibly survive and what inhumanities or ethical compromises will be required of us? If we do survive, is our isolationism a dereliction of human responsibility to those left behind?

All of which is to say that I think present-day fiction absolutely can make the attempt to meaningfully explore potential alternative-utopian solutions in more depth and with far more tangibility than we attempted with TSV - but that dystopian fiction like ours which concludes with the unexplored promise of a revolutionary utopia and the vague reassurance that the irrepressible human spirit will figure things out from here on out (Chewbacca gets a medal, everyone's in the streets wearing a Guy Fawkes mask) doesn't do much more than dramatically undermine its own goal of disrupting the audience's comfort.

That said, one of my big regrets this season was that we didn't succeed in more engagingly exploring and articulating the Woundtree camp's development into a flawed but functioning society in Dispossessed fashion ahead of the ending. That was my intention, but what quickly became clear was that in a dramatic format, with a limited cast, it was just endless static meeting-room scenes with Paige and Elgin discussing difficult responses to impossible challenges, while everyone else was out having dynamic and exciting adventures with lots of fun and exciting gods. Dystopias remain too entertaining for utopias' own good.

What do you see as the role of fiction in addressing the horrible machinery of this world?

I believe that absurdist horror fiction specifically, founded on the principle of 'people in a world that makes no sense, deluding themselves that it definitely does make sense' can play a very powerful role in that stated purpose.

Many horror traditions carry the baggage of inbuilt or inadvertent conservatism - the concept of a peaceable, passive, safe, middle-class Normality which is then disrupted by a terrifying outside threat (alien, ultra-foreign, ultra-low-class, underworldly, wild, etc). But absurdist horror very directly identifies Normality as the true source of our terror and very directly confronts our human response to it. It creates the right environment for us to ask all of the good questions. Isn't this an unsustainable nightmare we're living in? Why are we expending so much energy pretending it isn't? How do we get out and what do we do if we can't?

Probably the only listener reaction that's genuinely frustrated me about both of our shows is the folks who come away turning their noses up at the bluntness of that approach and acting like they've Solved The Art simply for figuring out where our broad sympathies lie. "Hm, just listened to The Silt Verses and I understood it at once; it's clearly trying to say that capitalism is bad. A little heavy-handed in its messaging for my liking, hm-hm!"

Not to go full Garth Marenghi, but for me the directness of the provocation and the obvious outrageousness of the nightmare is the point; it then allows us to go to places that other genres (or more understated critiques) generally can't.

How do we punch through the bounds of it all being Content, another product to be bought and sold? What does it mean to sit here and fantasise about people making that revolutionary break when there is no revolution to be had?

God, I don't know.

Maybe it means nothing; maybe we can't punch through; maybe there is no story unruly enough to be truly unco-optable, and therefore even the most radical fiction ultimately serves as a distraction, a placebo, a reassurance (that we are not alone, that better things are possible) which will impact the wider world more by keeping us subscribed to the Kindle app than by any action we might feel inspired to take.

Amazon is paying Boots Riley to make TV shows. Disney won much praise for delivering a revolutionary fantasy in a Star Wars shell. Apple is funding excellent, discomfiting and furious corporate satires about how we happily ignore invisible worker abuses for the sake of our own lifestyles, but they also cannot be considered accountable for the deaths of Congolese child-labourers in the global cobalt supply chain. The Dispossessed is in development as a limited series and the LeGuin estate are closely involved.

The master doesn't just own the tools, he's been buying up the guillotines as well.

What if, as with the unknowable nothingness outside of Omelas, the only art that cannot be reduced to product in net service of the status quo is the art that's so invisible and inaccessible and disconnected as to not exist at all? Does being relatively small and ramshackle really lend us any ideological purity, any genuine detachment? You can listen to The Silt Verses on Apple and Spotify and Amazon Music. Brought to you by Acast.

Chapter 36 with Dev and Seb was to a large extent intended as an articulation of that worry. To what extent can we still trust in the integrity of a sincere love story (one that we want to believe in) it if takes place in an insincere and predatory environment? Can any meaningful story be told honestly within such a space?

This stuff really worries me. I think it's probably right to worry. I don't know the answer. I do know that there are some folks for whom the show has made a tangible difference in terms of their life's direction, and that's a huge comfort to me.

There was someone who said it helped them find their faith, strangely and wonderfully. Someone else who said it contributed to their decision not to go down a more lucrative career path within what they view as an exploitative industry. (I hope they don't regret that decision; I hope it makes them happy.)

So there's something there. Maybe.

[mass-convergence]

Random, half baked 10 am thoughts about my trans identity and not some wide sweeping political statement about ~the trans experience~ below the cut. (Ie: look this is just how I’ve navigated my shit, don’t think I’m speaking for a broader audience, please. Talk to other trans people. Thank you.)

Hi. I was born female. I’m now non-binary presenting more masc.

While some folks called me a tomboy when I was younger, that was not an identity I … well … identified with. Because I never felt very comfortable with my gender? I guess I remember a time when I was neutral to being like … referred to as a girl?

And because I hate conflict sometimes I still act neutral to people calling me a woman even if I feel this huge disconnect from that identity. I do experience dysphoria but idk, it’s less dysphoria and more dissociation? Which may be like dysphoria - idk - I just look at myself in the mirror naked and think “that’s … not … me?” But I don’t (usually) feel any particular angst about it? If that makes sense? I just feel … disconnected from myself.

But anyway.

Never ID’ed as a tomboy. I may have kinda been like “lol I’m such a tomboy” because other people were calling me that and I just kinda latched onto the word because I was 10 and didn’t know what trans identities were.

People saw me romping in the woods in camo pants, being obsessed with fishing, hissing at the mere mention of wearing a dress, and getting strangely excited that our orchestra uniform included bow ties and cummerbunds for all members regardless of gender. I loved that I played cello because it meant I could wear pants. I definitely fit people’s concept of a tomboy but if anyone called me that I’d vehemently deny it. I think it was kinda because being a tomboy still implied that I was a girl, just interested in “boy things”.

I wanted to wear a tux to prom and my mom throwing a fit and refusing to rent one was the only reason I didn’t. (Did have a good time despite wearing a dress though, the after party was great - I was playing laser tag while my hair was still done up)

I never ever identified as a tomboy. That isn’t to say all trans masc folk like never considered themselves tomboys. As I said - single experience here, talk to other trans people. But idk, it does read as kinda … iffy … that people just equate tomboy with transmasc.

HOWEVER. That is not to say transmasc folks never ID’ed as tomboys or that if you are trans masc and considered yourself a tomboy in your youth that like your identity is not valid. I know TERFs and other transphobes love to be like “well you’re just a tomboy - you’re still a woman though” to trans mascs and those people can absolutely fuck right off. I get that I may have wandered into some sketchy territory.

If you are trans - your identity is fucking valid as hell and anyone who tells you otherwise is a goddamn dingus.

Idk, I just feel like being a tomboy and being transmasc is more of a venn diagram rather than a single circle. You know? And assuming someone’s trans because they’re a “tomboy” or saying they aren’t trans because they’re just a “tomboy” are both … bad assumptions.

Why am I non-binary? It’s not because I liked to romp around in the mud and wear baggy clothes as a kid. I’m non-binary because I’m non-binary. That’s it.

Merry fucking Christmas.

[jonathankatwhatever]

It’s 22 July 2023, and I’ve been unable to concentrate, which usually means something is coming together that I can’t look at yet because it’s not ready but it’s at the stage where I’m distracted, meaning I focus but not on math, not on work, not on anything much but what is in front of me. There is an alternation in that, which means an SBE, because this form counts states, and we have Start, over to the other side and back is Between, and End, so what happens is each of these basic chains construct so they are alternations. That’s why even permutations, the count of 2 permutations is the count of these 3 states.

Beyond that, I think I need to say that permutation means the solution to whatever generates that permutation, meaning the real action is on the other side of the permutation, which explains the various operations we use. This is getting obscure. I’m trying to say, if my middle fingers would cooperate better on the keyboard, is that we can list a permutation that counts to the Between End of Between. Between can be squeezed or expanded within the Start and End constraints, if that isn’t obvious. And we can list whatever returns to End. But that means the solution which is both of these, which constitute the SBE, are gs constructions, meaning they can include vast gs process. Was that obvious? I now see it that way but it didn’t feel obvious until I said it. We are here connecting this representations, so when the make sense, when they ring, they should feel obvious.

Ring the bell. So many meanings in that. Oh, so that which makes the bell ring, with all those meanings in there, resonates above and that shows them the bell is ringing here.

I am suddenly revisiting a thought from yesterday in which I saw how 2 is 3 and so forth through the construction of a 3rd which is visible from different perspectives, meaning there is a 4th, so this has constructed up to fD and thus into gs. The anti-hero indeed. Okay, to explain that, visible from different perspectives means a 3rd is the 4th relative to the other 3rd, where the other 3rd is merely the pespective of each of the paired 2. I keep hearing and this is orthogonal, but something is preventing me from accepting that without more. This is a version of the idea developed not long ago that reality works with the face-face physical existence of actual bodies, and that acts as the dividing 1-0Segment of an fD whose Ends are the perspective of the one toward the other. This was the I//I of tangible and intangible, meaning we or at least I accepted without thinking about it that I//I is the conception of Irreducible forms in general, another now obvious truth.

Well, maybe we did mention the idea once before. I know that recently it’s been implicit. Another example of a Thing moving along partially obscured, visible only in glimpses, as they move through the alternations, through the cycle phases that become CR. I think I’ll post this and make some food.

———————

It is with some trepidation that I say things like we connect Triangular to the Leech lattice through a D12 lattice over the Eisenstein integers. So that’s the complex Leech lattice and the Eisenstein integers are a triangular lattice in complex numbers.

And we mentioned the connection between a Janko group and the Monster through a Conway group. The idea needs me to get lower before I can say this well. So maybe the form of the Eisensteins. I’ll give it a spin.

The first idea I see is that we have an integer and we add a construction to that to make a third. The construction is a 2nd integer times a component equal to e^i2Pi/3, which is the count from 1 to 2 in gs process over CR divided into SBE. That makes sense; it’s like saying you start with a, go through b and end at c. Why is 3 SBE here? One reason is that if you define the Irreducible to the representation using a pie chart of a circle or the like, then you get Hexagonal. That’s cool because now you can define Hexagonal as breaking into and thus being made of the Irreducibles of D3 translated into CR.One representation would be of triangles making a star so the tips are equidistant.

Try the next definition: -1 + iroot3 / 2. What does that translate into? The imaginary root 3 is going to be End to End over an fD. The divided by 2 is that the fD is made of 2bT. The -1 locates the - - quadrant, which is how the alternating process works. This also translates roots of unity into CR. I think that’s my main insight now, that roots of unity are … oh, what’s this? If I look at an image of how they graph these, I see xK with implicit yK, which is the point of the Irreducibles and the I//I process. This thus maps counting those processes and counting over them.

Sorry, I was eating cheese like a dog when I started thinking and this means we, meaning people in general not us, do use Triangular and gs, which are the Gaussian integers, and thus the entire D-structure is there, and I was happily chewing away until my non-dog-eating-cheese-mind snapped into place and I went, ‘What was that?’ This is D-structure. This is where it connects. I remember thinking several time this had to be true, but now I reached the conclusion from the other direction. Instead of trying to apply these knowns, I’ve reached them as being what fits to what I now know. Connects the knowledge.

I can’t say I’m comfortable enough with this to do a public presentation this minute, but this is really good work. We’re adding an entire layer of comprehension on top of these mathematical structures.

[animeyanderelover]

8/25. I picked this character since he’s one of my favorites.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, stalking, manipulation, abduction, isolation, restriction, death

Yandere Ulquiorra Cifer Hc’s

💚Ulquiorra does not believe in emotions and things his eye can't see. He is materialistic. This human there seemingly wants to test him though. Ulquiorra is extremely obsessive and a huge stalker. Even if his rather cold and cool exterior doesn't give it away, he is thinking about his darling every minute he doesn't have any work to do and he gets slightly annoyed by it. The Espade rejects those feelings, wants you out of his mind. His inital strategy is drowning himself in tasks and work only to keep you out of his thoughts. You're expendable and trash, it shouldn't be that hard to rid himself of thoughts about you. It doesn't unfold as he expects it to happen though because instead his mind seems to only circle around you more. Maybe it is because he doesn't tend to his curiosity about you. Something is bothering him in a way he can't explain and only someone who really takes a close examination realizes that there is something on Ulquiorra's mind.

💚With nowhere else to turn, Ulquiorra eventually caves in to this insatiable interest in you. It's in a way humiliating when he searches for you in your world, he might even play with the thought of killing you since you are in his way and don't have any worth for Aizen. Those thoughts vanish as soon as he starts stalking you. He experiences some rather strange effects that come with stalking you, positive outcomes nonetheless. His focus returns to him, you surprise him by being more interesting than he initially thought you to be and watching over you is something he finds himself quickly growing accustomed to. So much that it starts bugging him when he can't stalk you every once in a while and observe you. Stalking you becomes worringly fast something completely daily for the Espada, it feels weirdly good to see you. To be near you.

💚He would never refer to it as jealousy if someone would explain the concept of it to him. He does know that after some time there is something inevitably annoying him whenever someone gets too close to you or is very touchy with you. Ulquiorra has come up with his own solution why something seems to jab him in his chest whenever he has to witness affection and clinginess from others towards you. Because they are nuisances who stop you from evolving and perfecting yourself. You see, after a while Ulquiorra has noted down everything he could find out about you. The man even went as far as to break into your house and go through your room, he just wants to know everything. He knows your flaws, has even come up how to overcome them. Those people are stopping you from wanting to be better.

💚He's not particulary violent, even if he views those he sees as not interesting or important to Aizen as disposable. The more he becomes obsessed, the more their mere presence with you bothers him. He always stares at people you keep close to you with a hint of distaste in his eyes, pinpointing in mere minutes of observation down why they're a hindrance to you. Whilst normally not someone who prefers to dirty his hands, Ulquiorra is capable of committing crimes that involve killing. With more and more time where he grows used to stalking you he finds himself at the most ease if you are just by yourself. In a delusional way he believes those are yours and his moments together which is why he feels like his privacy hasn't been respected when someone constantly interferes. He feels provoked and wouldn't have much qualms about killing those close to you. When he reaches the peak of his obsessed infatuation, he's pretty much ready to slaughter everyone close to you.

💚Kidnapping his darling is an inevitable outcome as soon as he grows rather possessive. By now it is safe to say that he has gone down the rabbit hole of obsession. There is this desire inside of him to have you constantly with him because stalking you isn't enough. He wants to talk to you like every other trash constantly does with you, wants to help you become the more perfect version of you he has drawn in his mind. There is even a part of him that wants you to think only of him and not anyone else. What you humans call the heart, he wants to own. He wants to possess his s/o, their mind, their body, their heart. Ulquiorra thinks before he jumps into action, adjusts a few things in the place he plans to keep you in. The abduction is no big drama since he knocks you efficiently out. When you wake up, shackled, he is already waiting for you. It'll be the first time you'll hear someone talking about the whole kidnapping and owning you from now on in such a matter-of-fact way. Get used to seeing only him because Ulquiorra will isolate you.

💚He can be extremely creepy and unnerving, downright scary even, when he just stares at you or threatens to kill your family and friends whenever you miss them. He's demanding of your love, wants you to only think about him. At the same time he is also so incredibly boring that it's laughable. You can't have a good conversation with him since he hasn't been introduced yet to the concept of humor and fun. You'll just get the stare of very mild confusion. Confusion is another good word to describe him who is completely out of ideas when it comes to love. You sometimes wonder if he even knows why he kidnapped you and truthfully, Ulquiorra can't give you much of a valid answer either. You constantly end up having to explain things to him and worse is that as soon as you say something he doesn't get, you have to explain because if you don't, he'll insist until you cave in. He just seems to like listening to your voice. Ulquiorra expects you to just accept that you are his possession now and handles you being a brat with a punishment in his calm way, he even berates you. He treats you rather good most of the time, simply because he believes your body to be his so he won't tolerate you harming your body since it isn't yours anymore.

[legaciestold]

there's a soft fondness which finds katarzyna's features, an ease of which she has lacked for longer than she cares to admit. her smile is bright, eyes light. oh there was no doubt of the war around them or the task they'd have to venture forth to soon enough but some kind of weight seemed to have eased from her. was it hope? was it faith in her purpose? in having a new direction instead of a status quo that was all battle and little else? she chuckles at his comment. no killing. definitely no killing. just loving. love. it was almost a foreign concept to her after so long and yet it seemed to fill her with a kind of warmth she wasn't sure she'd ever felt like this before.

"it is, what i think is best." katarzyna responds, needing no ability to read his thoughts to have a sense of where his might be wondering. true it was no small thing to allow him to be privy to such a meeting, yet it was perhaps time to make a clear indication that to go forward in this war they did have to truly open themselves to working together. she had spent long enough in her attempts to conform and meld into his camp even if she did a poor job of it and such only furthered the divide of separation.

of course she was not proposing to openly wield magic or have her soldiers invading the grounds of his camp but she was not a mere follower either. she'd woken up this morning and placed her uniform on and she intended to follow such suit going forward regardless to looks and judgements she may get outside of her own. his camp knew forces of some sort had allied with washington, now they would know in some form she was part of such. and her people would see that she was trusting of the major and truly allied with washington's circle and she expected such acceptance from her people of it. bringing benjamin to the meeting was a clear symbol of what she expected going forward. and if she was honest, she felt on some level, in most of her people's cases, they would be more accepting than his for the simple fact they'd lived centuries in the place of those unaccepted. in all, this was her making her stand and the stand she expected of her forces, clear. "oh there's plenty to learn. just perhaps.. not all at once." katarzyna retorts with a little bit of a playful smirk upon her features. then she begins to pull away to lead them downstairs.

once they are there, there is not an exceeding amount of activity for it was still early. there are no new faces, only those who had been there in the night to greet them, the assumption being they had been relieved from the outer post by others and were awaiting this meeting before going about something else or resting. they offer a nod of greeting, in the major's direction and utter a greeting to katarzyna in greek, with one, the asian woman, stating they have a new report from the field. with the room now illuminated, it's clear that what once was a living space for the previous owners had now been converted into a kind of war room. there were maps, reports, and strange drawings and symbols attached to the wall though while their outlines were what one would expect of the colonies, their regions and territories appeared completely foreign as if displaying some secret boundary lines that ignored publicly established ones.

the others in the room watch and wait to see what katarzyna does, if she sends the major away or allows him to stay and it's another soldier in an all black uniform and a shifting of color and darkness in his eyes displayed (perhaps because he did not choose to hide it), slight tension in his tone but also not disrespect which questions, this time in english as if he's trying to show a politeness to the major through it, if they should begin. this is new territory, but at least with those in this room, they will follow their general's lead where ever it so led. katarzyna moves toward the table in the center of the room, a map seeming to have been burned into the table yet when one came close enough to truly look upon it one could see within the black lines a kind of living spark that shifted the images slightly, moving them across the map as if to mirror the real movements. "we are partnered with washington's forces, are we not?" she questions toward the others in the room. "major tallmadge can be trusted." she states before adding in greek. "i also understand him to be fluent in greek."

her eyes dart to tallmadge for a moment, watching him take things in. her stance moves slightly closer to him without touching him, as if wanting to give him some level of comfort with her presence in the midst of the magic around him even if it was minor forms. she knew, even if he accepted her, seeing such things as a living map or understanding that others in the room might not be human was a lot to take in.

"tell me, does this report explain why general kerr is off course to where he should be this morning?" katarzyna questions looking upon the map and then at one of the officers. the answer she receives causes an annoyed expression to crease her features because she's just been told kerr was forced to go around a territory thought to be upon their side after the werewolves who held control of the area had reached some agreement with forces from crown and a battle had commenced.

both sides had taken a hit it appeared and katarzyna requests a fire message to be sent to general kerr that he should stay his new course however should avoid an approach to the target from the west given his new course even if it should delay them for the same reasons as such was avoided during the battle of rolan. still, the territory would need to be dealt with and a soldier should be sent with a message to a territory to the east of the avoided area, for while they may have some loyalty to the crown, their histories show those of that land have a greater dislike of those who engaged in battle with her people. they could be turned if land promised to them. she's sure of it. and if they give issue to the solider sent with the message, they can be reminded of who aided their family in the old world and they should take heed of whom is sending the messenger. there was no more room for them to exist in a middle ground.

there is no talk of congressman or those of state whom one would think would be spoken of in relation to these matters if in washington's camp, for these matters are a world of their own within the human's world but unseen by them. forces hidden in plain sight, a second war within a war. "unless there are more immediate matters, i request the room after which i must go with tallmadge to deal with a cockroach. i can attend to all else when i return." with that, the others exit the house, clearly dismissed and katarzyna sighs heavily for a moment, hands leaning onto the table as she notes the symbol of kerr's forces has somewhat advanced. "things very rarely go to plan in war." she states, turning toward him and attempting to gain a read on him. was this all too much too fast? was he going to take these things in stride? "tell me what you're thinking?"

The dark quality to Katarzyna's voice was unmistakable. It gave Benjamin pause, and as he turned to appraise her, he stiffened at the sight of the dark cloud materializing in between them, a physical extension of the woman's emotions. Without a moment's notice, the apparition disappeared akin to smoke, leaving him gaping and open-mouthed.

She stepped forward and touched his cheek. "if i had known all i needed was a night with you to regain my powers and strength, we'd have already had many nights like last."

Unbidden, Benjamin's shock turned to shy pleasure, his cheeks burning with embarrassment as he grinned. Curling his hand around her wrist, he quipped, "Yes, well while you seem to be regaining strength, it would seem that I am rapidly losing mine. If you attempt to love me any more than you already have, I might start assuming that you're trying to kill me."

Katarzyna kept her hand on his face, her light eyes filled with fondness. "i'll have to speak with a few of my people first. there should be a few reports for me downstairs. it will not take long but i do not know how long our interrogation will last. i should do this before we go."

Benjamin nodded, turning his head to kiss her palm. It startled him that she requested that he accompany her. Although a part of him was touched by her gesture of good faith, the other part was also a little unnerved; not by what she could do, but what her people might attempt, were they to be displeased by his presence.

"If that's what you think is best," Benjamin agreed. "I'm not sure what more you wish me to learn, but...I-I believe I'm open to it. For your sake." Expression softening, he lifted both hands to cup her cheeks, his thumbs fondly skimming along the curves of her face. "Lead the way -- where you go, I follow."