#I was literally crying in front of her
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Got a D on my college essay
Vincent Sinclair make me into one of your pretty figures please because damn I donāt wanna be here right now
#kill me#I worked so hard#and for what?#and when I came to my professor for help she didnāt do āØshitāØ#I was literally crying in front of her#she did not care
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The person holding the camera asked him "is this your first [tattoo]?" And instead of replying he just pointed at his massive chest tattoo ššš
#kƤƤrijƤ#jere pƶyhƶnen#like girl what kinda question is that he's literally sitting in front of you with his huge tattoo clearly visible like????? ššš#crying at the way he just fucking pointed at it#silently called her dumb I can't
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Two words:
Rosegarden. Hug.
#i just need them to see each other#like please they deserve it#Ruby after watching him bleed out on the floor in front of her by her own actions and watching the life drain from his eyes#and all he said was her nameā¦#and Neo using him to fight her in the fall to the ever after#seeing him beat up and bruised#literally the last two times sheās seen him in some way shape or form heās been severely injured#can you imagine???? the feeling she would get???? after seeing him alive and physically uninjured????#and then the fact that theyāve probably never hugged before because the ONE TIME THEY WERE GOING TO EMERALD HAD TO WALK IN#Iām kidding I love emerald but also how rude#also manā¦#can you imagine Oscarās reactionā¦#in the nicest way possible I want to see him cry#like tears of joy and relief and just for them to have a super emotional hug#pretty please crwby?#rwby rosegarden#rosegarden#rosegarden rwby#ruby rose#oscar pine#greenlight volume 10#greenlight rwby volume 10#greenlightvolume10#rwby#crwby#rosepine#rwby rg#rosepine rwby#rwby rosepine
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Every time my bestie stays over for a few days I get so incredibly, incredibly sad when it's time for her to leave. And every single time, no exceptions, I start crying a few minutes after she departed.
We've known each other for so many years and she really is the one constant in my life. I love her so much and I deeply wish we could see each other more often.
#it feels so empty and silent now#she's such a good and lovely person and I'm so grateful to have her#she's the same as me though#as usual we talked for a good 15 min in front of her car before she finally (reluctantly) got in and drove away#me literally sitting here and crying and doing a mini vent because I miss her so much already#posting about it is my copium#.txt
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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i am still not over the fact arlecchino is referred to as "father" by the house of the hearth kids btw. the gender of it all
#i cant articulate this ugh#its just. the idea that she plays not the role of mother#where nurture and compassion would typically be expected of her#but the role of father. where a more stern and i guess distant sort of love might be typically expected. Yeah#i also dont hate the fact she doesnt seem to be abusive to the kids. i know i said i wanted her to be irredeemably evil but i really dig th#s#i actually really like the direction they seem to be taking? where its like.#shes still The Fatui. shes still using orphaned kids for military missions#but she doesnt go out of her way to harm the children. id say she sort of goes out of her way to *not* do so#AGH IT MAKES ME INSANE!!!!#the fontaine siblings' voicelines about her made me utterly insane. particularly freminet's#leaks skip if u dont wanna know but when he says she doesnt like crying so he avoids shedding tears in front of her at all costs (augh)#but still will say that things got better after the house director changed and she took charge#and that she literally told him that he has to value his own life instead of prioritizing self-sacrifice for loved ones' sakes. or somethin#which i take to be good advice for freminet in particular who has some concerning suicidal tendencies going on in there#anyway yeah arlecchino i am obsessed with you#my posts
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some people are so mean for no reason. which i knew. but still.
#specifically. as a bug lover. people go out of their way all the time#to squish a bug in front of me or tell me about all the bugs they like to kill and things like that#knowing that it upsets me to hear things like that. and then they make fun of me when i cry#i donāt get it i really donāt#one of my other coworkers called me down to look at the āgiant scary bugā that was allegedly āchasingā her (it was a pill bug)#so i escorted the bug outside and she was like making fun of me the whole time#she then proceeded to tell me about all kinds of bugs sheās killed lately and even a baby snake#i thought i actually about to start crying again i couldnāt even politely excuse myself i haf to just walk away#and then she calls after me and i was like what. thinking maybe she might apologize for how upset she obviously made me#and she just starts complaining about how her foot hurts#maybe it was mean but i said i donāt care and kept walking away#and then she said she was going to go out and squish that bug just to spite me#like??? thatās just not funny. itās literally so easy to be respectful of other people#like you wouldnāt make those jokes about a cat or a dog so why is it okay when it comes to bugs or worms or snakes or rats or any other#creature that isnāt āappealingā to you#it just really upsets me. the way people treat bugs and other animals#and then use it against me knowing damn well how much it upsets me to hear that stuff#and make fun of me for getting upset? iām the āweird oneā or iām ātoo sensitiveā#like itās not funny. itās just not. itās fucking rude and it pisses me off#people like. my sister. are okay#i know she doesnāt like bugs but she respects that i do#so i try to be respectful in return. she lets me talk about my favorite bugs to an extent#and i leave out the details i know sheās especially sensitive to#i never just send her a picture of a bug i always ask if itās okay first#itās so easy to just not be an asshole i donāt know why itās so hard for some people..#anyways. if you donāt like bugs thatās fine. i encourage you to learn more about them#because i think a lot of people just donāt like that they donāt understand them#but if you canāt then thatās also fine. please just donāt be a jerk to those of us that like bugs#this has been my rant for the evening thank you everyone for coming. dies.#snow.txt
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that edit is doing better than i expected :) yippee
#rant b4 u expand tags warning! abt qts perception#when i was getting into the yard qt hating was a lotttt more open and often#and nobody ever had a normal reason. it was like she's the literal devil she's an evil person she's gonna kill ludwig jrma save him#like cmon just call her annoying and move on š yall get way too serious with it#and when you searched her tag it was ALL drama nothing about her#and when you searched her on yt it was just qtc crying qtc atrioc qtc swatted qtc deepfake#FOR SO LONG#but lately...#with faze coming around she is unironically getting framed in an overwhelmingly more positive light than she has in years#when you search her on yt its things that she's done no more crying#and we're slowlyyyy chipping away at her tag here#all of this is to say that idc if you like qt#you can think shes bad vibes wtv#she is most certainly flawed#but she deserves the chance to be treated like a normal person before you decide you dont like her#her everyday content should be on the front pages of her search results#not her trauma#and im gonna keep normal qt posting bc i like her#and i wanna chip away at her tag#but im very glad to see that in the past year it seems like we've gotten a little better at NOT vitriolic qt hating#especially bc ppl are being normal abt a ludqt edit!! WAHOO!#anyway. love and light <3 i just want ppl to be normal abt that bitch. tooodlesss
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Now that I'm a fanfic writer, I can't help but wonder what kinds of narrative themes I must've been missing all these years of reading fanfics because I sure as hell know I can't write a fic without somehow stumbling across a theme and running with it
#simu's two cents#inspired by the fact that I'm writing the superlantern arranged marraige au rn and I just realized that the central theme is consent.#i literally went ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh out loud. like a cartoon character.#that makes so much goddamn sense because it's an *arranged* marriaged and more than a little forced on each end too#so of COURSE consent is going to be the main theme of that trope. it's literally right there. the main point is figuring out consent#and ofc hal jordan: the guy who made superman cry thrice's theme is agency of the victim vs. safety#i use theme in the loosest sense. this post would make my ap lit teacher roll in her grave (she's still alive. just retired)#the main theme of american alien and the man born without fear is obviously being 'othered' and how different ppl react to that#embarcation is so on the nose and up front about the themes i don't even think i have to explain#for nice logical fallacy i guess it's internalized transphobia and toxic masculinity?#and then is somebody gonna match my freak (out)? was kinda just from a dream but is also abt consent?#and ofc this is kinda reductive like there's more than one thematic through-line in each of these fics and there's overlap too#but yeah.
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my best friend graduates uni tomorrow and i already know i am going to sob when i see her in her cap and gown
#iām sensitive rn so iāll cry ab it and i will ligerally be so weird ab crying in front of her LMAO#weāre not like the affectionate type of friends despite being friends since like#14#she literally came to drop me at the airport when my mum n i went to the US and stayed over the night before we got home#to go with my dad to pick us up#and iām not meant to sob be so real#ćmercury speaksć
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Talking about stardew valley romances is so awkward. My friends are like āoh I love [every single guy, and Haley, but Alex]ā and I have to go āoh I like Alex and Maru the most.ā
#lots of love to the other guys#but like#idk Alex is chill#heās like āhey whatās upā and then the relationship builds up at a pace Iām comfortable with#itās the same reason my main bg3 romances are Shads and Gale#theyāre literally just like āhey you want to hang outā#a similar reason why I love Neeraās romance so much in bg1ee#yeah there is a semi mutual crush pretty early on#but itās not like youāre jumping super far ahead and it paces like a normal relationship#or at least every relationship Iāve ever had#stardew valley#is way better at building up romances and relationships than bg3 and many other games to be fair#personally Elliot if my last romance of the men#Iām sorry I want to punch him#idk if maru is a common romance or not#I see way more people talk about the bachelors#I like her because I am also a man of science#or at least I try my best to be#Iām kinda dumb at very specific kinds of math#and idk how to explain it#itās like every other kind of mathematics my brain canāt handle#especially if two math concepts are similar or interconnected#Iām fucked if itās that#I try though#fail miserably but I try#and cry over it#really nothing gets me quicker to crying even in front of people (]>*#(which is a sin to me)#than failing miserably at math#anyways Iām off topic
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Didn't wake up bawling my eyes out today so that's a plus
#txt#starting my tags with that now cause some didnt end up in my txt tag maybe cause there were so many other tags in front of it#idk either that or tumblr is just glitchy#anyway#sounds so stupid and naive but i dont want to stop crying so hard because#that means im like dealing with it#and moving on#which i dont wang#want*#i want it to all be a dream#or for him to just snap and go wait i want to be with her what am i doing#idk#:/#i miss holding him so much#its had been summer so we didnt cuddle much for the past 3 months#so im like deprived already ahaha#and my anxiety with sex meant we didnt do that much cause we were literally never home alone#and we were supposed to go to a hotel on the 10th for two nights for alone time#didnt get to have that#it huuuuurtsssss#:(
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Save me gender-affirming sex
#wanna be called good boy#yes Iāve tried ātherapyā it wasnāt for me; even seeing someone via videoconferencing left me knackered and drained#insofar as I was literally shambling around Starkiller Base/my apartment with no specific aim; I donāt want to feel like that again#even if āopening up to a professionalā is technically good for me#the amount that it drains me of my natural verve and elan [sic] isnāt worth it#all yāall are getting the directorās cut of my various feelings btw#personal#I didnāt really enjoy crying and/or full on sobbing in front of a professional therapist#even if her aim was to make me better
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#āi would just really appreciate it if you could tell me where you're going so i know you're out of officeā bitch i was at a meeting#and you're not my supervisor!!!!! and also we aren't even the same department i don't care if we work in the same building#i love being treated like a teenager at my own real life adult job by someone who has decided she hates me for no reason#i can't win#also as of yesterday i am not allowed to let students on campus into our campus building without her permission#it's my building too! i run the front office!!!! hello? this is quite literally what i'm here for#i want to cry and the day just started
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got denied for the credit card bc my w-2 doesnt show my full social security number and capital one thinks it's realistic at all to expect paystubs to have your full uncensored social security number WHEN NOT EVEN YOUR TAX FORMS DO!
had to apply for a new social security card. had to sign up for a website. which theyre sending the activation code to me BY MAIL FOR. literally fucking the mail. and then i have to activate that and ONLY THEN will they consider ssenidng me a new card---which will take ANOTHER WEEK to get here at least. and then i have to MAIL the card to capital one so they'll continue my credit application.
#i fucking HATE this country#how does ANYONE survive#how is over half the country not in extreme poverty#this shit is not doable. not by anyone.#the fucking social security card thing being like ''you dont need to have a card-- ust know your numbers!'#like ok i can recount my social security number FRONT AND BACK but even that isnt good enough for these fucking credit cards#even my DRIVERS LICENSE isnt good neough for them#so i jsut said fuck it and applied to my ocal bank for a credit card.#less likely to get it but oh well#i might not have to jump through a BILLION hurdles#was literally crying on the phone with her like seriously please i cannot wait 2 months just to get the fucking card i NEED TO HAVE#ESTABLISHED SOME CREDIT IN TWO MONTHS.
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i genuinely think that I cannot put 100% of myself into anything.
That being said look at this cutie that was hanging around for 10 minutes!
#I am not capable of making friendship with people I don't particularly care about last???#Shocker lol#Going on a double friend date with my sister and my friends sister#We've known each other for years but GOOD LORD that was a long two hours#God bless @redpiperfox for being a great sister#Who can put a 100% into what's right in front of her and make up for my lack of social skills š#Bxhakankancnns#I may process here#I may not because I still gossip and cry and process with my mother#I LOVE MY MOM#am I tired? Is that why these tags just keep going?#Possibly#squirrels#Squirrels are amazing. Literally one of my requirements for anywhere I move to: there must be squirrels.#This cutie patootie was a little bit stupid#But I love him for it#He literally FELL into the trash can TWICE#he's just a fat little guy#So much love in my heart for squirrels#Ok bye
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