#I was gonna say Alex wouldn’t cheat and then I was like

[cryoverlife]

could Carter and Sadie Kane beat Conner and Alex Bailey in Monoply?

No, Alex and Conner would probably win

Conner and Sadie would cheat, hands down, they’re gonna be sneakily snatching all the money from the bank.

Alex would also cheat but it would be loophole cheats or like using magic to make sure she gets lucky roles or sm.

Carter would try to strategize, but he would fail so hard. He the type of guy that would keep getting trapped in jail or keep landing on boardwalk, though it doesn’t belong to him.

So basically Conner and Alex would win because they’re both cheats and only one the Kane siblings is a cheater.

[h4m1lt0ns]

HEARTBREAK SYNDROME.

episode fourteen :: HEAR ME OUT.

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴various, lewis hamilton x y/n

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au / irl snippets

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔girl you will not believe who texted y/n

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ face claim ﹔ wonyoung jang (28)

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕ excessive cussing, none.

y/n: i’m sorry who is this?

xxx-xxx: it’s kelly

y/n: ?

y/n: kelly piquet?

xxx-xxx: unfortunately

xxx-xxx: its an emergency.

xxx-xxx: and girl to girl, we NEED to talk.

y/n: OH?

xxx-xxx: i need to see you.

xxx-xxx: will u be at the qatar gp?

y/n: yes!! we can talk there, but is it urgent?

xxx-xxx: i know what you’ve seen from me gives u every reason under the sun to not even want to breath the same air as me but this is for your safety.

y/n: i got you.

y/n: see you tomorrow.

☆ IMESSAGE with ; BOARD OF DIRECTORS.

y/n: if you’re available for gossip irl raise ur hand

angel carmen: no bc what where you doing with that demon i thought you knew better

princess george: explain pls 😐

chal eclair: hurry up and explain bae, alex is spamming me and she’s fuming 😍

y/n: she’s spamming me too 😭

wifey lily: the girls gc is going OFFFFF

girlfriend kika: for good fucking reason

girlfriend kika: fucking explain yourself y/n

PIERRE GASLYYYY: kika’s so mad i think she might explode 😭

alabono: lily too 😭

chili!: well good thing none of them are here bc y/n would gotten assaulted

angel carmen: yeah

babygirl alex: exactly

girlfriend kika: what carlos said

wifey lily: hm.

y/n: 😟

y/n: meeting in george’s drivers room?

my baby lando: on my way !!!!

chal eclair: we all are

︴# ⸝⸝ : ★ real life ¡ ⌕ ⸝⸝ ﹒ ﹕

“everyone here?” y/n asks as everyone tried to cram in between two chairs and a sofa. “yep” carlos squeaks with charles and lando on top of him on a lazy chair, “yeah, mate” george says, him, alex, and pierre on the sofa while daniel and yuki shared the second chair.

“girls?” y/n looks at her laptop. kika, carmen, alexandra and lily were on a zoom call. “all here” kika gave a thumbs up as y/n sat in the middle of the floor. “girl.” y/n says, “oh, this is gonna be good” lando giggles, “so kelly originally texted me the day champagne, sex and anxiety dropped and i didn’t recognise the number” y/n began.

“i thought she was someone else because the number was unknown but then she was like ‘girl to girl we need to talk’, so i was a bit like, oh?, y’know?” y/n says as she passes her phone to the boys so they can read the messages.

“and when we met earlier, she was like-”

“sorry, did i miss anything?” lewis rushed into the room, seemingly a bit out of breath. “no, it was just about to begin” carmen’s slightly distorted voice says. lewis not so subtly checks y/n out, licking his lips, pierre and daniel give each other a knowing look with charles and lando give y/n a little smirk and she mouths ‘shut up’.

“is that a chair?” george chuckles, lewis placed a chair he had brought with him next to the sofa and shrugged, “well, i knew there wouldn’t be space here” lewis said as he set the chair down. he was about to sit when he notice y/n was on the floor, “wait, you come sit on it” lewis tells y/n.

“no, no, it’s okay” y/n smiles, “doll, i don’t want you sitting on the floor, it’s cold” lewis shakes his head. the rest of the drivers all quietly giggle and nudge each other as the girls text each other something about how lewis was calling you ‘doll’ in front of everyone.

“well it’s here if you need it” lewis says as he sits on the chair.

“guys, hold on, so, what did kelly say?” alex asks.

“yeah, she was like ‘i got your number from max’ phone, sorry to contact you on your personal number, blah blah blah, how was your day?’ all that, but that doesn’t matter” y/n continued, “bro, she’s breaking up with max”

charles gasps, “no, she’s not!”

“did he cheat on her too?” george asks

“here we go again” yuki chuckles.

so many questions were being asked all at once, “boys, shut up so we can understand!” kika exclaimed and the boys quickly settled down again. “they’re breaking up because of me” y/n added and the noise began once more.

“she better not be blaming that on you” lando rolled his eyes.

“what do you mean because of you? you didn’t do anything” carlos frowned.

“i just know he cheated on her” yuki laughs.

“oh my god, all of you shut up!” lily exclaims.

“no, no, wait, max has been, allegedly, loosing his mind. kelly said that ever since they announced their relationship, hes been obsessing over me. to an almost dangerous level” y/n begins again. “define obsessing” george says.

“kelly said that when heartbreak syndrome came out, he was hyper fixated on the songs. he would analyse each song, line by line to figure out which line are about him.” y/n explain. yuki’s eyes widened while charles, lewis and lando physically recoiled. “he also tried to send me a cease and desist because some of the songs were ‘too specific’” she added.

“and also-”

“no, hold on, can we talk about this? because my body had a visceral reaction” lando interrupted with a dramatic hand on his chest. “yeah, that’s a bit much” lewis nodded, pierre muttered something into his hands while carlos looked just befuddled.

“wait, y/n, there’s more? you said also?” carmen frowned. “yeah, so, remember when kelly used to copy me on social media, girl, hold on” y/n got up and began pacing around the room, “apparently, max was forcing her to copy me so she looked like the crazy obsessed one” y/n said, “shut up, no he did not!” pierre said, “girl, yes he did! because he was stalking my accounts with her account” she added.

“what the fuck?” carlos asked and daniel had a frightened look on his face. everyone in the room had shocked looks on their face as they stared at each other. all those months of what seemed like kelly copying and shading y/n was all of max’s doing. “she also said that when i signed with mercedes, he like, lost it.”

“lost it? or lost it?” kika asked, “lost it.” y/n answered. “he was up there breaking things, screaming, crying, just loosing his mind” y/n explained. “heh, he just like me for real” lando chuckled, then everyone glared at him. “i’m so funny” he added.

“did she mention the billboards thing?” daniel asked. y/n nodded as she stood next to lewis, placing a hand over his shoulder. lewis, almost subconsciously, wrapped his arm around y/n’s waist. charles and george smirked at y/n and she gave them a look that said ‘I will throw my shoe at you’. “kelly overheard max literally orchestrating the whole thing on a phone call with the red bull employees, and not only were they going to burn billboards, they wanted to burn the merch stands and my signing booth.”

“okay, what the fuck?” carlos asks again as the girls gasp. “oh? oh, he was serious serious” charles says as he half covered his mouth in shock. “what do you mean the signing booth? you could’ve gotten hurt.” lewis tightened his grip on y/n, as he says with a frown making daniel and alex nod in agreement. “yeah! that could’ve gone really fucking bad” yuki crosses his arms over his chest.

“I wanna say something crazy” y/n began.

“yeah, let’s not…” carmen said, “let’s use our critical thinking, maybe, just maybe, we shouldn’t do crazy things!” alexandra sarcastically giggled, “max was doing crazy things and look where that got him” she added. “depends on what the crazy something is” daniel said, “hey! don’t enable her!” kika scolded him making him raise his hands, “i’m just saying that if-”

“I want to talk to max.” y/n said, and everyone went quiet.

“what?” alex, george and carlos asked in unison, looking confused. “really?” charles asked as him, lando and pierre looked grossed out. “woooooow” yuki deadpanned, him and daniel were visibly upset. alexandra and carmen sighed in disappointment and lewis.. looked angry.

“you’re not seeing him” lewis said.

“but–”

“no you-” lewis inhaled deeply before continuing, “doll, he could’ve hurt you. you heard what his girlfriend said.” he said as he stroked her waist. charles and lando smirked at her, “what did I just say?! critical thinking skills!” alexandra frowned.

“y/n, babe, i don’t have the patience.” lily said with a huge fake smile, y/n put her hands up defensively; “but i have a plan, okay, here me out.” she says.

“okay, let her cook-” lando began, only to be swiftly cut off by george, “no! she’s done cooking for today. banned from the kitchen.”

“guys, oh my god, please.” y/n whined, “i just wanna ask him about some things!” she added. yuki sat up, “i’ve been saying, let me speak to him for months but no one is letting me near him.” he crossed his arms over his chest. “you’re gonna stab him, bro, no!” pierre half chuckled, “…fair.” yuki grumbled.

“there is nothing, nothing, that you and that sloth can talk about.” carlos began, “not a single thing.” he added. “but!” lando clapped, “okay.. devil’s advocate-”

“shut the fuck up.” the girls cut him off, and he placed the dramatic hand back on his chest.

“y/n” lewis said with a soft smile as he pulled her on his lap. george and alex elbowed each other while charles, lando and carlos tried their best (worst) to keep their giggles down, and yuki and pierre took photos to send to kika later.

y/n’s heart beat a bit faster and she founded herself at a loss for words, “you’re not safe around him. if there’s something you want to ask him, ask his girlfriend to communicate it to him. there’s no reason for you to break no contact after all he did. he’s disrespected you and your name in public, has stalked you, damaged private property with your face on it, do i need to keep going?” lewis asked.

y/n shook her head, “n-no, you d-don’t” she quietly answered.

“so what are you gonna do?” lewis asked, “not talk to max… privately.” she answered, he was nodding along, then he stopped. “you… what?”

“y/n, i will leap through this screen and stab you” alexandra threatened. “can we hear her out?” lando asked, “no!” the girls jumped at him again, the dramatic hand returned for a third time, “you’re just gonna let them yell at me like that?” he whined

“maybe you should hear me out!” y/n said, and there was a loud, collective of disappointment and annoyance. “and, yes, they’re your aunts, im your mother.” she answered lando.

“listen, next grand prix, all of you can be there, i just wanna ask him about the bullshit that he’s been doing.” she explained.

everyone looked at each other then at y/n, “really?” charles asked, “please?” y/n begged. “i’m in! sounds messy” lando giggled. kika chuckled, “no wonder you’re a PR nightmare.”

[ecemf]

And the Award Goes To... // A Carmen Berzatto Fanfic

18+!! MDNI!!

A/N: When this year started I definitely did not foresee myself writing not only one but two depraved fanfics both about hooking up in award ceremony bathrooms... but here we are.

This one actually took so long and I don't even really know if I like it but I hope y'all enjoy it. Big cheating vibes so if you're not into that don't read. Ok thanks bye!

Summary: As a writer for Vogue, you've been assigned to cover The James Beard Awards this year. This would be great, as your boyfriend is a nominee, if it weren't for the fact that your toxic ex was also nominated for the same goddamn award...

Warnings: cheating, smut, unprotected piv (wrap it before you tap it guys), choking, dom/sub dynamics, bit of degradation, porn with lots of plot, asshole boyfriend, asshole carmy, no usage of y/n

WC: ~5.8k

Enjoy!!

Nerves. That’s all you’ve been feeling this entire week.

When your boss had told you in October that you were assigned to cover the James Beard Awards you were elated. Partially because, you know, it was the goddamn James Beard Awards, but mostly because it would be your first major story at Vogue. You had been a writer for their Food column for a few months at that point, and while it wasn’t exactly as you had imagined it while writing it over and over in your manifestation journal, it wasn’t bad, and you were sure you could work your way up. This story was a chance for you to do so, so why would you pass it up?

What you didn’t know when you accepted the assignment weeks before the nominations came out, was that your new boyfriend, Alex Moore, would be nominated for Best Chef in the Midwest. This wouldn’t have been a problem- in fact quite the opposite -if it weren’t for the fact that your toxic ex who you hadn’t seen in ages was nominated for The Same. Damn. Award.

Now it’s May, and the dreaded day has arrived. You finish applying your vampy lipstick with a shaky hand as you hear Alex yell for you from downstairs. You two have been together for about 10 months now, and it’s been great. Alex is good; he’s stable. Sure he’s a bit egotistical and barely has any free time, but he’s a chef, aren’t they all that way? Alex talks about the future with you, he always calls when he’s tied up at the restaurant, he tells you he loves you.

He’s nothing like your ex, which is a good thing. You think. You love him. You think.

You rush down the stairs with your red Louboutins click-clacking on each wooden step. The shoes had been a six-month anniversary gift from Alex, who apparently didn’t know that anniversary means year. Your boyfriend came from old money which he loved to throw around, especially when it came to spoiling you. He had also purchased the dress you were wearing that night. It wasn’t something you would pick out, but it was nice. Simple and sexy without showing much skin.

“Finally,” he sighs, seeing you make it to the bottom of the stairs, “You look great in that dress. Shoes are a nice touch.”

“Thanks baby,” you say, approaching him where he stands by the counter, “You look hot,”

You go to give him a kiss but he puts his hand up before your lips can reach him, “Hey! Watch it!” He scolds, “I don’t want red lipstick marks all over me when I accept my award tonight, so you’re gonna have to keep it in your pants, nympho,”

You roll your eyes at the nickname, one that he gave you a few weeks into living together. Alex thinks it’s crazy that you want to have sex once (if not maybe two or three times) a day. He’s nothing like your ex.

—

When you arrive at the awards ceremony, your heart is racing. You had been squeezing Alex’s hand like a lifeline the entire ride there; he chalked it up to you being nervous about the work aspect of tonight.

You weave through people hand-in-hand with your boyfriend, saying hello to those you recognized, being introduced to those you didn’t. Currently, you were becoming acquainted with the sommelier from some new fusion place. Alex knew him from college. Or from when he did his training in Belgium? You aren't sure, you weren’t really listening. The only thing you’re focused on tonight is avoiding a very specific nominee. You hope you don’t seem too distracted in this (very boring) conversation.

“I’m gonna go find our seats,” you say to Alex, excusing yourself from the hellish small-talk, “It was great to meet you,” you say to- actually, you never caught her name.

As you saunter through the rows of tables, scanning each place card for you and your lover’s names, you try to calm yourself down. “No sign of him yet,” you think, “Maybe he won’t even come. That would be just like him, not showing up.”

Finally, you find the place card reading “Alex Moore”, but when you look at the table setting next to it, it’s empty. You glance around the table- maybe it blew off the plate? As you scan the surrounding area, you grow a bit concerned. Did they forget to put your name out? Were you even supposed to be there? You had no trouble getting in at the door, but-

“Looking for this?”

You freeze. Of fucking course he found your seat before you could.

You turn on your stiletto to see no one other than your ex-boyfriend, Carmen Berzatto, Executive Chef of The Bear. He stares back at you with your place card between his two fingers like a cigarette. Fitting.

“Please give that back,” you say, doing your best to seem unfazed by his presence.

“Wow,” he responds in mock-offense, “That’s the hello I get after all this time? C’mon, Jig,”

You wince at the nickname. You and Carmen had met while you were bartending in college. He was a regular at your bar, and you were a bright-eyed bushy-tailed 21-year-old hoping to make it as a food writer in the big city. You two bonded over your love of food, and would trade recommendations back and forth for different spots around town. You were the only bartender out of the whole staff who used a jigger (was no one else worried about their ratios??), so before he knew your name he would just call you Jigger, which then got shortened to Jig. Even after he finally asked for your name (and number), and even throughout your 3-year relationship (if you could even call it that), he still called you Jig more than your actual name.

“Hello Carmen,” you reply with a tight smile, extending your hand, “May I please have my place card for my seat?” You ask again.

As he opens his mouth to respond, you hear Alex calling out for you, “Babe!” He quickly walks over to where you and Carmen stand, “Hey, you found our seats?” He turns to look at Carmen, “Hey man, good to see you!” He embraces the chef, and takes a step back, looking at the place card in his hand, “Why do you have my girlfriend’s name in your hand?”

You panic. “Ummm… Carmen here found it on the ground, and he was kind enough to pick it up and come find me with it,” You (not so kindly) snatch the white paper out from between his fingers, “thank you again,” You hope your tone makes it clear that you want him to walk away.

“Find you…” Alex looks between the two of you, obviously confused, “Sorry, do you two know each other?” Shit.

Carmen looks at you, amused. You didn’t tell your boyfriend about him.

“Yeah!” You say, a little too enthusiastically, “Um yeah! I erm, I interviewed Carmen about The Bear for that article a few months back, remember honey?”

Alex looks back at you and thinks for a second. “Oh right, I remember that article,”

You never wrote an article about The Bear.

“And how could I forget such a face,” Carmen chimes in. You try to give him a warning with your eyes, and he seems to receive it when he says, “Well, it’s good to see you both, I should go find my place card this time. Good luck out there tonight, Alex,” He pats your boyfriend on the bicep.

“Hey, you too, man,” Alex responds, grinning. As Carmen walks away, he leans down to you and whispers not-so-discreetly, “He’ll need it,”

You try to ignore the comment as the two of you sit down. Your boyfriend was a good chef, a great chef even, but Carmen was better. When you read through the nominations all those months ago, you knew he would win tonight. As someone who had watched the man in his element, there was no doubt in your mind: Carmen would take home the award.

As people continue to mingle and find their seats, you take a glance around the room. The reception hall was huge, there had to be at least a thousand people in the building. Which is why it’s so painfully ironic that Carmen’s seat is in direct eye-line with yours. As you continue to survey your surroundings, his icy blue eyes meet yours. He was staring at you with a familiar look in his eye, and you try to ignore the knots it was tying your stomach into. You quickly look away, turning your attention back to Alex. He turns to look at you, and you go to give him a quick peck, forgetting your conversation from earlier. He once again stops you, rearing his head back to avoid your lips (or your lipstick, rather, so he claims).

“Sorry, I forgot,” you say dejectedly to your boyfriend, who looks at you like you just tried to stab him, “I’m gonna run to the bathroom really quickly before they get started,” you tell him, touching his arm.

“Okay, my speech won’t be until later in the ceremony, so no rush babe,” your ever so confident man responds.

You grab your purse as you head out of the large room, searching for the bathroom. You wish you could find an usher…

“Looking for the restroom?” Asks a young man in a suit. You nod. “It’s-“

“I can show her,” you hear from behind you as someone takes your arm, and before you know it, Carmen is leading you down the hall.

You quickly pull back from him, “Would you leave me alone?” You say quietly, hoping no one is watching or hearing this, “I am trying to work and enjoy my night, okay? You should do the same,” you start down the hallway again, alone this time.

“Alright…” Carmen says behind you, “the bathroom isn’t that way, just so you know.”

You stop, and turn to face him again, “So then where the fuck were you taking me?” You ask, exasperated.

“Well, if you would let me show you…” Carmen looks at you expectantly.

You stare back at him silently, and finally allow yourself to actually look at him. He looks good. Like, really good. Carmen never dresses up, but when he does, good lord he’s a sight for sore eyes. You indulge, ogling at the way his black dress shirt sits taught against his strong chest. Even under the thick suit he has on, you can see his strong arms. Those arms that used to hold you, throw you around, flip you over, help you bounce up and down on-

“My eyes are up here, y’know,” Carmen says sarcastically, obviously noticing what you were doing.

You ignore his comment and his noticing, “if I follow you to this mystery place will you leave me alone tonight?”

“Is that really what you want?” Carmen responds with a certain edge to his voice. An edge you recognize. An edge you miss.

You gulp. “Yes,” you say quietly.

“You were always a bad liar,” Carmen mutters, walking past you down the hall, “c’mon, Jig,” he says for the second time tonight.

—

After a few more hallways and a flight of stairs, you and Carmen arrive on the roof of the building. As soon as you’re outside, the blonde pulls out a pack of cigarettes, silently offering you one as his hangs out of his mouth.

“No thanks, I quit,” you say, putting your hand up.

“Well look at you, changed woman,” He jokes as he lights his cigarette, “Old Money Moore wasn’t into it?”

You roll your eyes at the jab at your boyfriend, “For your information, I quit before me and Alex even met,” you look down at your shoes and shiver a bit in the evening air, “why are we up here, Carmen?”

“Will you stop calling me that?”

“Stop calling you your name?”

“Yeah, it’s weird. You never used to call me that,” he takes another drag of his cigarette, “I mean, unless we were fighting,”

“So most of the time, actually,” You respond, humorlessly.

“Did we spend most of our time fighting?” The man looks you up and down as he continues to smoke, “As I recall we spent most of our time fucking,” he exhales.

You bring your fingers to your temples, “Oh my God, get to the point,” you glance down at your phone, “the ceremony’s going to start soon, and I really don’t want to miss anything,” you say. And you mean it - you have a goddamn article to write!

“Is he gay?” Carmen smirks at you.

“W- what? Is who gay? What are you talking about?”

“Your ‘boyfriend’,” he makes air-quotes around the word, “Alex, is he gay?”

You have half a mind to just turn around and head back to the ceremony, but you don’t. You’re not sure why. Yes you are.

“Firstly, he is my boyfriend. No need for the air quotes, asshole,” You start, annoyed that you’re even having this stupid conversation, “secondly, no, he is not gay. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m a woman, and we’re in a relationship, so,”

“Oh I’ve noticed,” Carmen says, raking his eyes up and down your body, “I was just asking because I watched him refuse to kiss you earlier,” he throws his cigarette on the concrete ground, stubbing it out with his foot, “and any man who refuses to kiss a woman who looks like you, well, I just have to assume he probably isn’t into women,”

Your face goes hot. Half from the embarrassment, half from arousal. Boy was he laying it on thick. You clear your throat and meet his eyes, which you had been avoiding doing since the two of you got alone.

“Not that it’s really any of your business,” you start, narrowing your eyes at Carmen, “but he asked me not to kiss him so that I wouldn’t get lipstick on him for when he-“ you cut yourself off, realizing how ridiculous it sounds out loud.

Carmen chuckles, staring into your soul. You avert your eyes.

“When he what, baby?” He asks, coyly.

“Don’t call me that,” you say sternly. Or at least try to.

Carmen starts walking towards you, slowly. He backs you up against the wall behind you until there’s only a few inches of space between the two of you. You still avoid meeting his eyes.

“Jig, look at me,” he says quietly, and you obey, finally locking eyes with him. He moves even closer to you and puts his hand on the wall above you, caging you in, “he doesn’t want your lipstick on him for when he does what?” Your faces are so close he’s almost whispering. God, you wish he would leave you alone. No you don’t.

“For when he wins the award tonight…” you say, barely loud enough for Carmen to hear. But he obviously does, as he hangs his head and laughs. The tops of his curls nearly touch your nose. You stare up at the sky again, half from embarrassment, half from arousal. He was so goddamn close. You could smell him.

He lifts his head, still chuckling a bit, “that dumbass thinks he’s going to win the award tonight?” He asks you in disbelief, “like seriously?”

You knew Carmen would win the award, there was no doubt about it, but he was being a major asshole. A sexy asshole, but it was a bit much.

“Carmy-” You go to tell him it wouldn’t be impossible for Alex to win, but you freeze when the nickname slips out of your mouth. He smiles devilishly at you.

“There it is,” he says with that shit-eating grin on his face, “say it again,” he whispers, getting his mouth dangerously close to yours.

“Stop it,” you whisper back. His nose nudges yours and you turn your head to the side.

“What’s my name baby?” Carmy murmurs as he ghosts his lips up and down your neck, “Say it again, sweet girl,” he pulls the neckline of your dress to the side and bites down.

“Carmy,” You whine. You grip his shirt, trying to find something to ground you as your ex-boyfriend sucks a mark into your collarbone, “please, I can’t,”

“But you want to,” he smirks as he continues kissing your neck, your insides becoming molten lava, “Alex doesn’t need to worry about your lipstick on his face, baby. You know why?” He pulls back and looks you in your eyes, already glazed-over and needy, “because I’m gonna win that goddamn award,” he grips your waist as he pulls you tightly to him and whispers in your ear, “and then I’m gonna fuck his girlfriend while I wear it.”

You try to catch your breath as he releases you and your back hits the wall. Carmen takes his thumb and runs it over your bottom lip. You think he’s going to put it in your mouth, but he just wipes a bit of the lipstick off of it. You watch in lustful amazement as he then takes the red pigment and rubs it on his neck underneath his collar. He pushes off the wall and without a word leaves you standing up on the roof, alone, soaking through your underwear.

—

“Jeez, did you fall in?” Alex says quietly as you shimmy into your seat. You had missed the beginning of the ceremony. “Are you feeling okay? You look a bit flushed,” he rests a hand on your thigh and you give him a small smile.

“Yeah, sorry, you know women’s bathroom lines…” you say through tight lips, hoping he doesn’t ask any more questions.

Your prayers are answered when your boyfriend simply nods and turns back to the presenters. You turn to see Carmy staring holes through you, with that stupid goddamn smirk on his face. You take a deep breath and try to return your attention to the stage.

—

You sit through a handful of awards and speeches, and finally it comes to the “Best Chef” section of the night. Up first: Midwest. AKA: Your Boyfriend vs. Your Ex. Your heart races as you watch the presenter give a speech about the award and the nominees. He reads off all of the names of the nominees, and your palms sweat as you rest a hand on Alex’s shoulder.

The room is quiet as the announcer says, “And the James Beard Award goes to…”

You inhale.

“…Carmen Berzatto of The Bear!”

You exhale.

Alex curses under his breath and clenches his fists. You try to rub his back but for the third time tonight, he pushes you away. You sit quietly with your hands in your lap as Carmen takes the stage. God, why does he look so good even in stage lighting?

Carmen walks up to the microphone after having the medal placed on him by the presenter.

“Wow. Um, I’d like to thank my team first and foremost, I wouldn’t be able to achieve anything without them. I’d erm, I’d like to specifically thank Sydney Adamu, my sous chef and partner. She really should be the one up here, but I guess I’ll take it,” The crowd laughs along with him, “I’m really grateful for this award and anyone who’s ever eaten at The Bear. Thank you.” He looks dead into your eyes and grabs the medal as he ends his speech, “I can’t wait to wear this thing!”

Everyone laughs except for you, whose face goes beet red. Luckily the lights are dim enough for it not to be an issue, but you can hear the blood pumping in your ears. You turn your attention back to Alex, whose ears had apparently had steam coming out of them for the past two minutes.

“I can’t fucking believe this,” he mutters, “that was supposed to be my award. After all the fucking money my parents donated to this foundation? What a joke.”

You pretend you don’t hear your boyfriend whining like a spoiled brat, “Are you okay?” You ask sweetly, “It’s just an award baby, it doesn’t really mean anything,” you try to replace your hand on his shoulder but he swats it away. Hard.

“Jesus can you not touch me for like five fucking seconds?” He says, pretty loudly, considering they’re in the middle of presenting the Best Chef Northeast award. You look up to see if anyone heard and see Carmy coming down the steps of the stage, clenching his jaw as he watches the interaction. You hold your stinging hand and excuse yourself to the restroom before your tears of anger can spill over.

As you stand in the mirror, dabbing your eyes before any more tears can fall, you hear the bathroom door creak open and the deadbolt turn. Behind you in the mirror appears who else but Carmen fucking Berzatto, wearing that stupid fucking James Beard Award. You stare at him through the mirror, silently.

“Well, aren’t you gonna congratulate me?” He says, walking towards you. You turn around to face him, “C’mon, Jig, nothing?”

You stare at Carmen. You watch the way he stares back. All of today’s events race through your head. All the times your boyfriend rejected you, dismissed you, ignored you. Those moments on the roof, the adrenaline you felt, Carmy’s words ringing through your mind.

“and then I’m gonna fuck his girlfriend while I wear it.”

You reach out and grab the medal on his chest and use it to pull him into you. It’s intense off the bat, a mix of teeth tongue and lips, hands frantically grasping at each other. Carmy grips your neck and your waist as you lace your fingers through his curls and give a tug that earns you a soft moan. You begin kissing down his neck, leaving dark red lipstick marks all over. You push his sport coat off his shoulders and begin undoing the buttons at the top of his shirt.

“Eager, are we?” Carmen teases, helping you in removing his shirt.

“Just shut up and fuck me, Bear,” you respond, bringing his mouth back to yours.

“Mmm,” Carmen pulls away, “what happened to my good girl who used to beg so politely?”

“She only gets fucked once every two weeks so she’s kind of impatient right now,” you say as you continue to place kisses all over Carmy’s upper body and palm at his erection.

“Hold the fuck-“ Carmy pushes you off of him and looks at you with shock on his face, “that asshole only fucks you twice a month??”

You look back at him in all of his glory. His curls messy from your hands, his sculpted form covered in your lipstick marks, his pupils blown, his dick, well, huge. Why did you ever give this up?

“He just doesn’t have a high sex drive he says,” you shrug, putting your hands back onto him, “I don’t really wanna talk right now, Carmy,”

“Does he at least eat you out first?” He looks genuinely perplexed and frightened by this information. How could someone have this masterpiece of a woman under their roof and not be ravaging her at least once a day?

“I asked you to fuck me, not make me laugh, Berzatto,” you deadpan back at the man, “seriously, now you know how much I need this, so please,”

“Oh you need it bad, baby,” Carmen says as he turns you around to face the mirror. He begins unzipping your dress ever so slowly, leaving kisses across every inch of your back. You step out of your dress, left only in your matching bra and underwear along with your red Louboutins. “Turn around,” Carmy orders.

You do so. You look at Carmy through your lashes, feeling equally exposed and terrifyingly aroused. The man growls underneath his breath, just staring at you.

“What a fucking idiot,” he says, before picking you up and placing you on the countertop, “doesn’t fucking realize what he has, rich fucking asshole,” Carmy mutters more nasty things about your boyfriend as he pulls your panties down your legs. He smells the soaked fabric before putting them in the pocket of his trousers. He pulls your legs open and groans loudly. “Jesus, baby, is all this for me?” He runs a finger through your soaked folds, collecting some of your arousal which had been building since you first saw him hours ago.

You squirm atop the counter as Carmy just toys with you. He stares at your vagina with amazement, like it’s a piece of art. Finally, he dives in, licking a flat stripe from your entrance to your clit. You gasp loudly. One of your hands flies to grip onto the counter top while the other finds purchase in the golden curls currently perched between your thighs.

It’s just as good as you remember it. That’s the problem, always has been. The sex is so goddamn good. It’s what kept you crawling back every time Carmen would hurt you for 3 long years. You hated your past self for always giving in, but right now, you understood her completely.

Carmy swirled his tongue around your clit as he inserted two thick fingers into your entrance, curling them just right. The stretch was like nothing else. You let out a beautiful noise, causing him to groan into your pussy, the vibrations adding to the delicious stimulation. You clenched around his fingers as he continued his ministrations, feeling that familiar knot tightening in your lower stomach.

“You gonna give me one?” Carmy says, looking up at you with a soaked face and hungry eyes, “You gonna come all over my fingers, baby?”

“Yes, Carmy, yes, oh my god,” you babble, feeling so close, “please don’t stop baby,”

Carmen raises to his feet while continuing to finger you. He pulls you closer to him, leaning into your ear. “Does that feel good, princess?”

As you moan uncontrollably as you muster a “yes feels good,” but you know the questioning won’t end there.

“Yeah baby?” Carmen adds a third finger and you squeal, “how good does it feel?”

“God it feels so good please don’t stop,”

“Who’s making you feel this good, sweet girl?” He continues to whisper into your ear.

“You Carmy, it’s always you,” you respond breathily, the coil in your stomach moments from snapping.

“Say it again,” Carmen growls.

“Carmy oh my god-“ and with that your vision blanks. Your legs shake as you come harder than you have since… well since the last time you fucked Carmy. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as he continues his movements, prolonging your orgasm.

You grip onto his strong shoulders as you come down, resting your forehead against his as he removes his fingers from you.

“Jesus Christ,” you say, as you watch him stick all three fingers into his mouth and suck off your residue. You watch familiarly as he gathers spit in his mouth and grabs your jaw. Knowing the routine, you gladly open your mouth, as he spits in the mixture of the two of you. You moan as you taste yourself mixed with Carmen.

“Swallow,” he demands, holding your throat. And you do. “There’s my good girl,” he says, undoing his belt with one hand, “thought I lost you there, baby,”

You hum contentedly as he continues to hold you by your throat while he pulls his cock out of his pants and boxers. You moan at the sight of the state of it. Veins bulging, tip bright red and leaking, and, well, huge.

Carmen pumps himself a few times before saying, “take your bra off,” letting go of your throat to opt for one of your newly free breasts, “love these fucking tits, god.”

You squeeze your legs together as he strokes himself while playing with your nipples. It’s hot, but you need more. Now.

“Carmy, please,” you said, making your sweetest eyes at him, “I need you so bad,”

“You gonna beg me baby?” He responds with that stupid grin on his face.

“I’ll do anything,” you say, disregarding your pride (and your boyfriend).

“Is that right, angel?” He asks, caressing your face as you nod, lowering his voice, “you’ll do anything for this dick?” He continues stroking it as he looks into your eyes, “you need to get fucked so badly that you’re in here begging me for my cock while your boyfriend’s in the other room. Didn’t realize you were such a slut, baby,”

Your pussy throbs as Carmen continues to taunt you, “yes, I’ll do anything please,” you’re truly so desperate at this point, “please just give me your cock Carmy,”

“Say it,”

“Say what?” You ask, genuinely confused.

“Say you’re my slut,”

You gulp. “I- I’m your slut,”

“And why are you a slut?”

“B-because I’m in here begging for your cock when my boyfriend’s right outside…”

“And why are you begging me for my cock when you have a boyfriend?”

Okay this interrogation was getting old.

“Because it’s so much better, Carmy, please just give me your dick haven’t I been good?”

“You’ve been so good, baby,” Carmy says as he pries open your thighs and buries himself inside of you.

You yelp at the intrusion, not expecting himself to push himself in to the hilt on the first stroke.

Carmen lifts up your right leg and puts it over his shoulder. Then the left. He watches as your tits bounce while you half-lay on the countertop. You watch as his medal bounces on his chest with each thrust. He notices.

“You like that baby?” He asks, snaking a hand down to rub circles on your clit, “you like getting fucked by the best chef in the midwest?”

“Yes Carmy, fuck, just like that,” you moan out, “best dick in the midwest,” you say, somewhat jokingly.

Carmen half-laughs half-growls at the comment, “that’s fucking right, baby, best dick you’ll ever have. That’s why you keep coming back, right? That’s why you’re in here cheating on your stupid fucking boyfriend? Yeah?” With that last comment, he delivers a slap to your clit, causing you to scream and your pussy to clamp down around him.

“Fuck always so tight, princess, always so good for me,” Carmy babbles, getting lost inside of you, “this is my pussy. No one else’s. Say it.”

“It’s- fuck!” You yell as Carmen adjusts his angle, now hitting your G-spot over and over, “It’s your pussy Carmy, fuck! It belongs to you, I belong to you, oh my God don’t stop, please!”

It seems like Carmy misheard you as he stops fucking you and pulls you down off the counter top and kisses you ferociously. He grabs at your ass and you whine at the loss of him inside of you.

“Hold on baby, I’ve got you,” he says against your lips, “just need to do something,” he says, as he lifts off his medal and places it around your neck. You look up at him, confused. “Turn around,” he says, darkly.

You turn around to look at yourself in the mirror. There’s a red mark around your neck from where Carmen was gripping you, your updo from earlier is now mostly down, your chest is littered with small hickies, and between your tits lies a motherfucking James Beard Award.

Carmen pushes on your upper back so that you’re leaning over the counter and re-enters you at a punishing pace. The bathroom is filled with lewd noises of skin slapping skin and moaning. You look up to see Carmen staring at you through the mirror. Except, he’s not looking at your face, he’s staring at your tits. Wait. No. He’s staring at the medal bouncing with your tits.

Carmen looks into your eyes through the mirror, “yeah look at you,” he growls, somehow pushing into you even faster now, “my girl wearing my fucking award. Jesus Christ look at that,” he watches intently as the piece of silver bounces off of your chest with each thrust he delivers, “fuck, who’s the best baby?”

“It’s you, Carmy, you’re the best,” you moan out in response, “you’re the best,”

Carmen reaches around you and grabs the medal, but keeps the ribbon around your neck. He pulls on it just enough that your back arches and your head falls onto his shoulder. The new angle this creates is mind-blowing, and you once again moan all too loudly. Carmen litters kisses and bites along the shell of your ear.

“I’m so close baby,” he strains into your ear, “want you to come with me,”

With that he takes his free hand and resumes his work on your clit. The combination of the dragging of his thick cock over your G-spot over and over again with the tight circles he’s rubbing into you has you barreling towards your second orgasm. Knowing your body the way he does, Carmy can tell, and he tries his best to time his release with yours.

With one final stroke, you’re coming undone on Carmy’s dick, throat still held tight by the ribbon of his award. Carmen stutters as he comes inside of you with a groan, holding your hips in a way that will bruise as he paints your insides, the warmth adding to your intense pleasure. You both come down from your highs with a collection of sighs and moans, and finally, Carmy pulls out of you. You whimper at the loss of contact and the feeling of him leaking out of you.

Wordlessly, you begin to dress yourself again. You don’t even bother asking Carmen for your panties back, that’s an argument you’ve lost to him enough times already. You zip your dress back up, Carmen silently helping you get it to the top as he too works on making himself decent again. You attempt to fix your hair looking in the mirror, getting it back to a somewhat similar state to when you arrived earlier this evening. You smooth out your dress, and go to walk out of the bathroom when Carmen clears his throat.

“You, um,” he looks at the floor before making that piercing eye contact he’s so good at, “you deserve better, you know, than that asshole,”

You stare back at the man you loved for so many years. The man you still love today. He was right, you did deserve better. Better than Alex, but better than him, too. You nod back at him with tears in your eyes.

“Congratulations on your award, Carmen,” you say quietly. You walk out of the bathroom, back to the ceremony.

[leclerc-s]

snow angel - track one

series masterlist // next

1 YEAR LATER

liked by alex_albon, blakelively, mickschumacher and others

rheareynolds soft launches are a thing right?

view all comments

user1 nah cause how did lando no wins fumble her?

↳ user2 the better question is how did nowins ever bag her in the first place

user3 imagine fumbling the rhea reynolds. lando no bitches truly fucked up.

alex_albon i expect credits for that third picture. i was scarred for life.

↳ rheareynolds you're the one who barged in demanding we watch a movie.

user4 she's gone for a year, besides promotional purposes for her ep and comes back with a soft launch?

user5 MOTHER, WE DEMAND ANSWERS! WHO IS HE?

user6 can't believe a m*n stole my wife. she was for the girls and the gays only.

lilymhe can't believe some blonde bitch stole my wife.

↳ rheareynolds still yours baby. always 😘

↳ lilymhe good. blondie could never compete with me

↳ user7 i thank god everyday that rhea's break-up with no wins didn't take this wonderful duo from us.

vancityreynolds what the fuck? who is that? better not be some vroom guy again.

↳ rheareynolds don't you have children to take care of? blakelively you're overgrown toddler is loose again.

↳ blakelively oh how adorable! i expect to meet him when you're ready.

↳ vancityreynolds you're supposed to be on my side?

↳ blakelively i only married you for your sister.

↳ rheareynolds suck on that ryan!

↳ user8 this family is my everything.

charles_leclerc when did you start dating? why was i not informed of this?

↳ georgerussell63 or me?

↳ maxverstappen1 why did alex know before us?

↳ rheareynolds i told lily, who told alex. you think i wanted that guy to know?

↳ alex_albon i can read your comments rhea.

user9 no wins really thought everyone would drop rhea the moment they broke up these guys love her.

user10 WHY IS NO ONE LOSING THEIR SHIT OVER RHEA SOFT LAUNCHING? WHO IS THIS MAN? WE MUST HAVE ANSWERS!

↳ user11 as long as this one doesn't cheat on her, we don't really care.

↳ user12 something no wins never could do

george russell who is he?

charles leclerc we demand answers rhea!

pierre gasly i just like gossip

max verstappen oh so suddenly now she can't answer?

alex albon i love knowing something you guys don't

lily muni he reminder you only know because i accidentally told you

esteban ocon you people are stupid.

max verstappen excuse me? esteban ocon i would recognize that blonde head of hair anywhere lance stroll i would too. it’s mick

rhea reynolds BOOOOO! way to ruin my soft launch dumb and dumber

charles leclerc ANOTHER DRIVER? george russell WHAT HAPPENED TO “I’LL NEVER DATE ANOTHER FUCKING DRIVER AGAIN?!”

rhea reynolds you’re gonna look at mick and say not to him?

lily muni he i wouldn’t. that’s like saying no to a puppy alex albon they truly are the golden retriever and black cat trope.

lance stroll you’re fucking welcome

pierre gasly for what?

lance stroll for setting them up on a blind date? well lily helped.

lily muni he yeah i did! they’re great for each other

charles leclerc at least we know he won’t cheat on her like n*rris

rhea reynolds my brother would be proud of the censorship of his name. he still calls him no bitches to this day.

george russell well ryan is an icon and l*ndo has no bitches.

alex albon doesn't he have a girlfriend? charles leclerc i thought they broke up? max verstappen doesn't matter, in our hearts he will always remain bitchless max verstappen and that is not me saying his girlfriend is a bitch. i've never met her. rhea reynolds i heard she was nice girl. i just hope l*ndo didn't cheat on her like he did on me

daniel ricciardo what'd i miss?

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, estebanocon and others

rheareynolds saw you bitches say on twitter i was trolling with my last post. i'm not, i am no longer bitchless. some people can't relate.

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user1 SHOTS FIRED! SHOTS FIRED!

user2 MAN DOWN! MAN DOWN!

estebanocon i'm telling him you called him a bitch

↳ rheareynolds do it you french fuck, i'll tell him you called him an overactive golden retriever puppy.

↳ estebanocon you wouldn't dare.

↳ rheareynolds try me bitch

user3 REGINA GEORGE HAS FIRED SHOTS!

user4 he may be bitchless but you still think about him

↳ user5 that's not the flex you think it is sweetie.

maxverstappen1 get this shit off my phone. it's gross.

↳ rheareynolds you dad is gross but you don't see me complaining do you?

↳ maxverstappen nice to know you're back to your old self

↳ rheareynolds and better than ever baby!

luisinhaoliveira99 is it me? am i the drama?

↳ rheareynolds no baby, it could never be about you 👩🏼‍❤️‍👩🏻

↳ user6 WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

user7 OSCAR? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

↳ user8 this just got messy with a capital M

vancityreynolds rhea lobster reynolds, i demand to meet him.

↳ rheareynolds mom (blake) said you could meet him when i was ready.

↳ vancityreynolds and i'm supposed to care because?

↳ rheareynolds hey blakelively your overgrown toddler is back at it again!

↳ blakelively leave the poor girl alone ryan.

maxfretwell i would love to inform you that sushi just let out an unholy screech

↳ rheareynolds must be because he's bitchless, can't relate.

daniel ricciardo oh, so that's what i missed!

↳ user9 not this man being confused on what's going on. me fr.

it's mick isn't it?

how the fuck?

i'm your older brother dumbass. besides, mick's the only blonde esteban hangs out with. that i know of.

you're not as stupid as everyone says you are.

who the fuck is saying i'm stupid?

your mom

WE SHARE THE SAME MOM DUMBASS!

i know, and she says you're stupid.

i still expect to meet him, as your boyfriend.

of course you do.

rhea reynolds added one person

rhea reynolds ryan figured it out.

mick schumacher i told you he wasn't as stupid as you thought he was.

daniel ricciardo YOU'RE DATING MICK? WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?

max verstappen you're supposed to read the group chat dumbass

charles leclerc l*ndo just called carlos to complain.

rhea reynolds good. he deserves to suffer.

mick schumacher she wrote an album about him

rhea reynolds NOT TRUE! THERE'S AT LEAST ONE SONG ABOUT YOU ON THERE! MAYBE MORE!

lily muni he is there another song about me? 🥰

alex albon you two said what can i do was a joke! rhea reynolds lily, babe, that song wasn't about you? lily muni he WHAT? EXCUSE ME? rhea reynolds it was about a hypothetical with this other girl, who's not important. but i told you it was about you because you were so happy? lily muni he don't ever talk to me again. i'm heartbroken. pierre gasly it's giving charles and max.

max verstappen bitchless just called and asked me if i knew who you were dating and how you knew luisa.

rhea reynolds i met her while she was dating n*rris. monaco is not that big.

alex albon tell him she's dating some actor like ross lynch or something

lily muni he how long did it take for you to come up with a blonde actor? alex albon too long

lance stroll tell him it's luisa in a blonde short wig.

charles leclerc that'll shut him up for a while.

rhea reynolds tell him it's taylor swift in a short wig.

daniel ricciardo thank god i don't have to hear his screeches anymore.

rhea reynolds that's one upside to being unemployed. daniel ricciardo i have a job? rhea reynolds but do you though?

¡leclerc-s speaks! i'm indulging in my love for both mick schumacher and renee rapp + blake lively. i was originally going to make the oc a lively but i kinda wanted her name to have same alliteration renee's name has and nothing with an L went well so i chose reynolds instead. anyways, hope y'all enjoyed this!

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[freedomfireflies]

okok so idk it’s nothing special really but i don’t think i’ve ever actually read something like that and i've been sort of searching for it for some time because i personally struggle with it and well, it’s annoying 👼 but anyway, my request is a one shot or even just a shorter blurb, whatever you feel okay with where H and the reader get into a fight for the first time really, they were always solving their problems by communication and always managed to not get into proper fights. but well it can’t last forever, right? so they get into actually heated fight and harry properly raises his voice at her and there the whole thing is, Y/N is sort of hypersensitive and whenever someone screams at her or even just scolds her, she cries and she can’t stop it nor control it, thinks it’s pathetic and is always ashamed or crying like a baby and not being able to scream back or remain calm. so she tears up and she’s telling him to ignore it and starts apologizing for acting like that and he sort of doesn’t know what to do because he’s really worked up and doesn’t think straight but he also feels extremely guilty. so maybe he like tries to go away and escape this but shortly comes back to comfort her or something like that? i dunno if it’s something you’d be up to writing, it’s totally fine if you don’t feel like it but yup, there goes my a bit of an angsty request!

“You are so fucking ridiculous. I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”

“Like what? Rightfully curious? Justly upset?”

“No…hysterical.”

You rear back, lashes fluttering as you stare at the aggravated British man across from you. “Wow. That’s what I am, huh? Hysterical?”

“Yes,” he says simply, unphased by the line he just crossed. “Yes, you’re being hysterical. And I can’t talk to a hysterical woman.”

You can feel the pressure against your chest as your throat begins to burn from the tears you know are coming. 

But you straighten your shoulders and feign indifference. “Maybe I wouldn’t be so hysterical if you would just talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he seethes for a second time. “We had lunch. That was it.”

“And I said that’s fine, but you didn’t have to lie about it—”

“I didn’t fucking lie, I—” His hands find his hair, fingers yanking at the roots as his teeth grit together. “For fuck’s sake. I don’t need to explain my choices to you—”

“Oh, yes you fucking do,” you argue, taking a step closer. “If you want to be in this relationship, you need to communicate with me—”

“I did fucking communicate. I told you I was going to lunch—”

“With Alex. You did not mention Samantha—”

“So fucking what? What does it matter if she was there?”

Your jaw just about drops. “It matters because she was a huge part of your past, and having lunch with her makes me think—”

“Makes you think what, huh?” he suddenly bellows as he moves closer to you as well. “What? That I was gonna fuck her right there on the table?”

There’s a fire in his eyes you’ve never seen before. A rage in his voice, in his stance, in his expression that you’re unfamiliar with.

This Harry…is not your Harry.

Your Harry would calmly explain the miscommunication and then ask if you wanted to bake some brownies together. 

This Harry looks like he wants to walk out of your life.

And into hers.

“You think I went there to cheat on you?” he continues, taking another step. And with each additional step, his volume rises. “Think I went there to beg her to take me back? To embarrass you? To throw all the progress you and I have made away?”

“Har…” you murmur, hands raising as if to tame him. 

Or perhaps to keep him away.

He doesn’t notice. Nor does he notice the subtle shake in your request as he continues stalking toward you. 

“Is that what you’re so fucking afraid of? You don’t trust me?” he just about shouts. “What? I need to be more communicative, but you don’t have to fucking trust me? What kind of fucking relationship is that—”

You don’t know how it happened. Don’t know when the tears that had been crawling up your throat slipped from your eyes and began pouring down your cheeks. You don’t know why you’ve suddenly been reduced to a puddle of quivering breaths and anxious glances but suddenly, that’s all you know.

Harry slows to a stop, focus flicking across your face as if assessing you. “What…what’s happening—”

You swallow a hiccup and quickly wave your hand through the air, as if to dismiss his comment. “Nothing. Nothing, sorry—fuck. Sorry, I’m fine, I’m—”

“Why are you…crying?” he asks, lowering his voice back to his normal register as takes one more step.

You roll your eyes, annoyed with yourself as you swipe your knuckles across your wet cheeks and huff, “I just…I cry when I’m…listen, I’m fine. I just…I know you didn’t go there to…cheat, I just—”

“Your hands are shaking,” he interrupts, rather matter-of-factly, his eyes downcast toward your arms.

You glance down as well. “Yeah, that…happens. Look, I didn’t mean to make you mad—”

“Why are your hands shaking?”

You swallow again. “’Cause…I don’t do well. With confrontation.”

He looks back up. “Oh.”

“Yeah. I don’t know. Childhood trauma, I guess. I just…I cry,” you admit, rather sheepishly as you once again try to dry the tears still dancing down your chin. “But I’m fine. Sorry. I wasn’t…I know I shouldn’t’ve—”

“Did I make you cry?” he asks now, eyebrows raised.

Again, you wave him away. “No. No, not…not you. I just…when people yell at me, I—”

“Was I yelling at you?” 

Your expression softens at the absolute confusion on his face. “I mean…I don’t think you meant to, but…you did get pretty loud.”

He leans back, almost as if you’d slapped him. “Firefly, I didn’t…I didn’t realize. I…I just…I don’t know…”

“I know,” you offer gently, attempting to reach for him but he’s quick to pull himself back, terrified to have you close. “Har. Don’t do that, it’s fine—”

“I yelled at you,” he mumbles, like he can’t believe it. “I don’t…we don’t yell.”

“I know, but you were…you were angry—”

“Are you defending me?” he interrupts, seemingly aghast. “Firefly, I fucking yelled at you. I scared you, I made you cry. That’s not something to defend—”

“I always cry,” you retort, smiling to lighten the mood but are instead met with a frown. “Harry, it’s fine. Look…I shouldn’t have gotten so upset about the lunch, I just…look people talk. Twitter talks, I thought…they seemed pretty sure it was a different kind of lunch, so…I assumed. And I’m sorry.”

He studies you for a moment, eyes flicking between yours before he sighs and takes a hesitant step forward.

He takes your face between his hands and swipes his thumbs through the tears. “Believe me, you have nothing…to worry about. Samantha was and still is the biggest bitch I’ve ever met. I was supposed to meet Alex. But he fucking set up the lunch with her because she asked him to.”

“Oh,” you whisper, now feeling a tad guilty. “Damn, yeah. She is a bitch.”

“Yeah. I mean, more power to her but…like a text would have sufficed, you know? I can just as easily tell her to fuck off over the phone.”

You smirk. “I do trust you. I promise I do. I shouldn’t have assumed, I just…I would hate losing you.”

“God, Firefly, you would never,” he breathes, dipping down to press his forehead to yours as his eyes flutter shut. “Never fucking lose me. It would kill me if you left. You are it for me, do you understand? You are it. I’m never fucking letting you go. I’d lock you in my basement before I let you go.”

You laugh and playfully swat at his chest. “Ha. Ha.”

He smiles and leans back to see you once more. “Please believe me. She means nothing to me. Hell, even Alex means nothing to me now. Just you. Only you. Always.”

You take hold of his wrists and squeeze, heart bursting with adoration for the beautiful man before you. “I believe you.”

“And I promise never…to raise my voice at you again.”

“Hey, listen…I don’t mind a good yelling match as long as I get a few hits in.”

“Oh, is that right?”

“That’s right.”

He grins and surges forward to kiss you.

Hard.

“Good. Now…let’s go make some brownies.”

Thank you so much for the request, I hope it could somewhat fulfill your expectations! It was so fun to write, I’m so grateful you sent it 😭💞

~ Other Harry Blurbs

~ Full Masterlist

[muldj0rd]

Do you really look good naked? || Lestappen

Summary: It wasn’t weird what Charles did… Right? Everybody found comfort and familiarity in pictures of videos of their childhood best friend the same way Charles did… Right?

The way that Charles looked at Max was pure platonic. Why would it be anything else? He was in a happy and stable relationship with Alex, and likewise was Max with Kelly

Warnings: Cheating, anal, anal fingering, high mile, Max’s thighs, nipple play, thigh grinding

Masterlist || AO3

Charles couldn’t lie about finding pleasure in looking at pictures and videos of Max- not that kind of pleasure!

More something along the lines of… Comfort and familiarity

Charles knew that Max didn’t follow him back on instagram- he didn’t have a problem with it, he could still look at his profile, but… He wished max would follow him back

It wasn’t weird what Charles did… Right? Everybody found comfort and familiarity in pictures of videos of their childhood best friend the same way Charles did… Right?

The way that Charles looked at Max was pure platonic. Why would it be anything else? He was in a happy and stable relationship with Alex, and likewise was Max with Kelly

Although, a Saturday night after qualifying, and Charles were scrolling through twitter before bed, he came across a picture of Max lifting up his fireproofs slightly

The sight sent jolts of electricity all through Charles’ body. He knew there were pictures of Max half naked on the internet, but her purposely avoided them, thinking that would be weird and definitely not normal if he found pleasure in watching him like that

The picture sent all kinds of thoughts through Charles’ mind

He didn’t know how long he was thinking about Max naked, but it was at least a good 20 minutes

At the end, Charles had thought about him railing Max in all different positions so much, that he probably couldn’t look Alex in the eye ever again, maybe not even Max

Charles needed to know if Max looked good naked

Which was a weird thought, seeing as he had just talked with his girlfriend, wishing her a goodnight, and promising to fuck her real good when he got back home

———

Max wasn’t shy about letting himself know that he needed to know how Charles looked naked

He even surprised himself when he didn’t feel even a tiny bit of guilt when he had jerked off to a picture of Charles half naked he found on his instagram

He didn’t feel guilty when he was buried inside of Kelly, thinking of Charles as he came- it was weird, he knew that, but he didn’t feel bad about it

He didn’t feel bad when he had taken a bottle of lube with him onto his private plane, knowing it was just gonna be him and Charles, hoping something would happen

“What?” Charles asked confused, looking shortly up from his phone to see Max staring at him, covering his cheeks with one hand, his legs crossed

“Nothin’” He shook his head slightly, looking away

———

Max had went to the toilet, and when he came back, he sat down beside Charles instead of where he sat before which was opposite to him

He had turned his body to be facing Charles slightly “This is gonna sound really, really weird, but I need you to promise me you won’t laugh or tell anyone I asked”

Charles nodded softly “Of course” He said slightly confused

“Do you… Do you look good naked?” Max choked out

Charles shifted slightly in his seat, crossing his legs. Max’s words had sent a weird feeling down his body and landed right where it should not land

“I mean- I‘ve seen you half naked on your Instagram, and you looked good, like, really good, and I just need to know if you look good fully naked” Max rushed out, looking away

Charles blushed slightly at Max’s words “Well, i wouldn’t say I look good, but your ‘looks good’ is different from my ‘looks good’” Charles explained softly

“So… What you’re saying is… I have to see it for myself?” Max chuckled softly, hoping it would cover the arousal in his voice

Charles smirked softly “I guess, yeah” He chuckled slightly

Max nodded softly, nibbling at his bottom lip “Could I…?” Max looked away from Charles, hoping he hadn’t stepped over the line

“What?” Charles asked slightly surprised “You want… To see me naked?”

Max couldn’t get any words out, only nodding softly

Charles sighed. He took his phone from his pocket, knowing he had a photo of himself that he had sent to Alex that he had yet to delete. He hesitantly handed Max his phone

Max’s breath hitched slightly at the sight of Charles naked on the phone. If Max wasn’t hard before, he definitely was now

Max looked up at Charles seeing him looking out of the window, fiddling with his hands, distracting himself

“Charles?” Max said softly, Charles obviously hearing him, but ignoring him

Max sighed, leaning in to softly place a kiss on the exposed skin of Charles neck, causing Charles to yelp softly at the unexpected action

“You look really good naked” Max smiled softly, his face mere inches from Charles’ when he turned to look at the Dutchman

“But…” Max said, his hand attaching to the inside of Charles thigh, making him breath out heavy “I would rather want to see you with my own eyes” His thumb made circles into Charles’ thigh

“Max” Charles said in a slight warning tone “We both have girlfriends” He sighed

“If we were both single, would you say yes?” Max asked softly, leaning slightly closer in

Charles sighed, eyes flicking to Max’s lips. When he didn’t answer, Max’s hand went further up Charles’ thigh “Yes” Charles gasped out “I would… Say yes” Pushing Max’s hand away

Max didn’t let Charles react before he had pulled him in for a kiss- not one of the sweet, soft, first kisses you have with your partner, but a messy, wet, needy kisses

Charles should’ve pushed Max away, but he didn’t. Instead he kissed Max back with the same intensity

Max chuckled softly at Charles’ sudden change, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he changed their position, Max now straddling Charles

Charles planted his hands on the back of Max’s thighs, just under his ass

Charles’ mind started wandering again. Max’s thighs already looked good in jeans, what about without them?

Max leaned back, pulling his shirt over his head, throwing it somewhere close. He went back in to kiss Charles, but Charles turned his head downwards, eyeing at Max’s chest and waist

“Fuck- you look good” Charles groaned softly, his hands going to Max’s now bare waist

The praise made Max whimper softly, his face blushing slightly “Really fucking good” Charles said softly, leaning in to kiss and nibble at Max’s collarbone

“What happened to ‘We both have girlfriends’?” Max chuckled breathy

“You want me to stop?” Charles asked, pouting slightly as he leaned back to look up at Max

“God, no. Please, keep going” Charles chuckled softly at Max’s neediness, leaning back in to mouth at his collarbone

Max moaned softly when Charles wrapped his lips around one of his nipples “Charles- please- I need you to fuck me, please” Max moaned, grinding his crotch down against the top of Charles’ thigh

“Max…” Charles leaned back, making Max whine softly “We don’t have any lube” He said softly

Max turned his body slightly, leaning over the table separating the two sides, reaching for his jacket lying on the seat Max had been sitting in before. He reached into the inside pocket, taking the bottle and handing it to Charles

“You cheeky little shit” Charles chuckled, his fingers twitching around the bottle. It was new “You’ve wanted this all along, haven’t you?”

“I need you so bad” Max whined softly, biting his bottom lip softly, hands splayed on Charles’ chest

“Turn around then” Charles smirked softly

“No. Please, I wanna see you” Max almost begged, leaning in to kiss Charles, hoping it would give him what he wanted

“Too bad. I want to see your ass. Turn around” Charles smacked Max’s ass softly, making him yelp softly

Max whined softly, but managed to turn around, supporting his body on the table in front of him

Charles’ hands were soft against Max’s skin as they snaked around his body, unbuckling his belt

Charles leaned on, kissing Max between his shoulder blades as he lifted his hips, giving Charles space to push down his jeans and briefs, leaving him basically naked

Max whimpered once he heard the cap of the bottle open, and the soft sound of Charles squirting some out on his fingers

Max leaned further over the table, pushing his ass out, making Charles groan softly at the sight

“Fuck, you’re so pretty” Charles almost whispered with a groan, two fingers circling Max’s hold softly, making Max whimper

“Charles… Plea-“ Max’s plea got cut off by a small moan when Charles slowly pushed a finger inside him

Max rolls his head forward, his hair falling into his face and his eyes closed as he feels Charles move his finger inside of him

Charles bites his lip softly, his other hand tight on Max’s waist. He pulls his finger almost all the way out, slowly pushing a second finger in, stretching Max further

Max moaned softly at the feeling, his hips grinding against Charles hand slowly, seeking more pleasure, knowing it was impossible with the position

“Charles… I need it so bad” Max whined, his knuckles white from how hard he was clenching them together

“Dieu, you sound so good when you’re needy” Charles chuckled softly, pulling his fingers out of Max slowly, wiping them clean on one of his ass cheeks

“You’re just so fucking slow” Max whimpered, loosening his clenched fists as he looked over his shoulder, watching Charles unbuckle his belt

“Behave” Charles warned, slowly pouring lube on his cock, stroking himself a few times, only taking so long to make Max more desperate

“Charles” Max whined, yelping when Charles pulled at his hips, lifting him slightly- just enough so Charles could line his cock up with his gaping hole, slowly pulling him down

Max moaned as he slid down onto Charles’ cock, holding onto his thighs beneath his own

“Fuck- Charles” Max gasped out when he was pulled all the way down onto Charles’ cock

“Mon Dieu, you look good naked” Charles chuckled, softly and slowly guiding Max’s hips to start and roll them on him

Charles snaked an arm around Max’s torso, pulling him back against Charles’ clothed chest, letting Max starting to bounce on him

The new position had Charles’ cock hitting Max’s prostate at every bounce Max made, making him moan loudly

“Dieu, you should be glad we’re 30.000 ft up in the air and the pilots are wearing noise cancelling” Charles chuckled, bucking his hips up, meeting Max’s hips half way

“I-I’m not that loud” Max managed to stutter out between his moans, Charles’ hips slamming up against his ass

“Yes, you are, amour” He chuckled again, hand wrapping around Max’s cock, stroking him as fast as his thrusts

If the twitching and leaking of Max’s cock wasn’t enough to tell Charles he was close, the even louder moans from Max was

“F-fuck! Charles!” Max moaned loudly “Please- ‘m gonna come” Charles had marks in his forearm where Max had dug his nails into

“I know, baby. I know. Come for me” Charles soothed Max, his hand pressing against his pale chest, keeping him close

Max threw his head back against Charles’ shoulder, his body shaking as he came all over his own chest and some on the floor beneath them

Max’s body was boneless as Charles slowed down his hand and his thrusts, feeling himself very close to his own orgasm

Charles moaned softly as he held Max’s hips down against his own, coming deep inside him

“Mon dieu” Charles panted heavily, holding his arms around Max, pulling him close against his body

“You were so good for me, baby” Charles murmured softly, kissing Max’s exposed shoulder

“I wanna see you next time- wanna see your face” Max panted, his eyes fallen closed

“Next time? So there’ll be a next time?” Charles questioned hopefully

“Charles, this is the best sex I’ve had in years. I’m not letting you and your dick just walk away” Max’s words drew out a chuckle from them both

[starstruckunknown-princess]

Yarrow - Santiago "Pope" Garcia x Reader

Yarrow (Achillea) - Meaning: Cure for a broken heart, healing

Summary: After a humiliating trip and fall when you find your boyfriend cheating, you call Santi for a ride home.

Pairing: Santiago "Pope" Garcia x Reader

Word Count: 1205

Warnings: Mentions of infidelity, language, reader has a broken wrist in a cast but is otherwise not described, bit of a clueless/hopelessly in love situation, snuggling

Day 8! My word count is creeping up and up the last few days...not sure what that's about. I'm also sick and really tired so forgive any errors.

In Bloom Masterlist

Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are appreciated! <3

“So…you gonna tell me what happened?” Santi asked, pulling the car out of the ER parking lot after picking you up. It was late, and raining, and you’d been there for hours so you were beyond ready to get home. At least the pain in your arm was dulled by the meds.

Your head rested heavily against the window of his pickup. The painkillers were making your eyelids droop, and the situation was embarrassing enough without reliving it. However, you figured you owed Santiago an explanation since he schlepped all the way to the hospital at this hour to give you a ride because the stupid doctor wouldn’t let you drive home all doped up. 

“I caught Alex cheating on me. Tripped down the stairs while I was running out. Caught myself on my wrist.” You said, giving him a noncommittal wave with your cast-covered forearm. “I shrieked so loud that they both ran out to help me. Then, turns out the chick he was banging is a nurse and said I should get checked out for a concussion too. She drove me.” 

“Ouch,” Santi replied. Whether to the actual injuries or to the fact that you had screamed so shrilly as you fell that Alex and his booty call had run half-naked out of his apartment to check on you. 

“She’s actually nice,” you admitted, keeping your eyes focused on the passing scenery. “Pretty, too. No wonder he was fucking her on the side.”

Santi’s warm hand landed on your denim-clad knee, “Hey, don’t do that. Any guy who would cheat on you is a fucking idiot who doesn’t know what he has.” 

Your head lolled on your neck as you turned your attention to your friend. While he was stopped at the light, his dark eyes staring at you betrayed his sincerity. You weren’t sure if it was the meds or how tired you were or what, but you stared right back, taking in how handsome he looked in the light of the street lamps. All dark eyes and heavy brow, the firm line of his plush lips, the stubble along his sharp jaw. 

“Thank you,” you whispered into the space between you. “For coming to get me.” 

“Anytime, you know that. I’m sorry this happened to you, querida. You deserve someone so much better than that jackass,” he said as the light turned green and he pulled into the intersection. 

You shifted in your seat, “He didn’t seem like a jackass until tonight.” 

Santi was quiet for a moment, then said, “I could tell. When we met him last month, we all figured out he was a jackass.” 

You snapped your head towards him so quickly your vision went fuzzy for a split second, “Then why didn’t you say anything?” 

Santi shrugged, “Will said it was a bad idea for your guy friends to get involved.” 

“Well next time you think someone I’m dating is a jackass, get involved.” Your tone was flat as you rested your head against the window again, relishing the cool glass against your skin. Letting your eyes drift closed, you listened to the soft click-click-click of the windshield wipers and the rain pattering the truck. You couldn’t summon the energy to be angry at Santi and the guys for not warning you about Alex right now, exhaustion dragging you down, down towards sleep. 

From the driver’s seat, Santi could feel how tired you were and figured it would be better to let you drift off. He could see the bruising on your arms from your fall and looked at the neon pink cast encasing your left forearm, unable to stop his jaw from clenching and his fingers from flexing on the steering wheel. 

That night he and the guys had met Alex he’d wanted to pull you aside and tell you, but Will intercepted him before he got the chance. Ever the perceptive one, Will had caught on to Santi’s growing feelings for you and gave him an ultimatum — if he did approach you tonight, he needed to tell you about his feelings or let you be happy with this guy. And you had looked happy, Alex was attentive enough, and seemed to like you back. 

But now you were half-asleep against his passenger door, injured and in pain after finding that asshole cheating on you. 

Who in their right mind would cheat on you? Wonderful, funny, intelligent, beautiful, generous you. Santi had half a mind to confront your ex, pummel him into the ground, and dump him off in the Everglades naked and disoriented. Instead, he turned down your quiet street and pulled into your driveway, putting his truck in park and turning off the engine — none of which woke you so he put a hand on your shoulder. 

“Hey,” he said, “Querida, we’re home.” 

You awoke to Santi’s face near to yours. The truck was parked in your driveway, rain lightly pelting the window. 

“Right, thanks again Santi,” you said through a yawn, reaching to open the door but Santi stopped you. 

“Let me make it up to you?” Santi asked, dark eyes full of hope as he looked at you. 

You shook your head lightly, confused and still sleepy, “What do you mean?” 

“For not telling you Alex was an ass,” he explained, brushing some of your hair away from your face which made your heart stutter. “Let me take care of you. Please?” 

Your breath caught in your throat at his proximity — when had he moved? Or had you moved toward him? Either way, you both leaned over the center console and were getting closer by the second. All you could do was nod. 

You didn’t miss the smile that broke on Santi’s face as he closed the distance between your mouths, his lips pressing against yours in a gentle but firm kiss. Sparks exploded behind your eyelids, but before you could deepen the kiss Santi pulled back. You chased his lips but his steady hands on your shoulders held you back. 

“As much as I want to continue, you’re about to fall asleep sitting up. We should get you into bed.” He stroked your cheek with a featherlight touch, making you shiver. As awake as his kiss made you feel, you knew he was right. 

He exited the truck and rounded the front to open your door, helping you down and guiding you into the house with gentle touches to your lower back, arms, shoulders. When you got to your bedroom he helped you change into pajamas, his gaze and touches (unfortunately) remaining respectful. 

He pulled your covers back and held your hand while you slipped down into them, making sure you were settled before asking if you needed any more meds or water. 

“No, I’m fine for now. C’mere,” you said, lids falling closed once more. You heard his light chuckle and he rounded the bed, the rustle of his t-shirt coming off and the clink of his belt as he shucked off his pants preceded the other side of your bed dipping under his weight. He took the Big Spoon position and your last thought before falling asleep was how easy, how natural, how right his arms felt around you.

[idontplaytrack]

Rejanis angst? Breakup?

With “party favor” by Billie Eilish as like inspo? Idk lol

✧ Party favor

Janis ‘Imi’ike x Regina George

Warnings: angst, coarse language, some descriptions of smut, self-harm, implied eating disorders & some mentions

"It's not you, it's me and all that other bullshit You know that's bullshit, don't you, babe? I'm not your party favor."

"Oh, my God. I am sick of you being-"

"Oh, are you, now? You're sick of me? Is that what your attitude lately meant?"

"You're not letting me finish my sentences."

Regina responded through gritted teeth.

"Like what you want to say would be any better." Janis scoffed.

“As I was saying,” Regina continues, “I am sick of you being so paranoid! What the fuck, honestly.”

“What the fuck is right.” Janis lets out a dry chuckle, “What the fuck is my life right now? What the fuck kind of life have I been living?”

“I told you, you need to start taking care of yourself, otherwise—”

“What, Regina, what?” Janis snapped, “You’re gonna force feed me? Commit me? You’re the last person that should be telling me what to do. All those things already happened. You really—”

“I’m breaking up with you.”

“Fuck you.” Janis spat, “I was there for you in the hospital when they took you there against your will. I visited you when no one else did, all while trying to make it through college. And now you’re just going to do this? You know what? I hear you, just leave. We don’t have to see each other ever again, anywhere. Fucking leave! Why are you still standing there? You left me once, I’m very sure you’ll have no problem at all doing that again.”

“I told you, Alex was a one-night stand.” Regina sighs.

“No.” Janis answered, “No. I’ve had enough of pain from you, I am not setting myself up for a round three. I don’t want anything! To do with you ever again. I am who I am because of you! You don’t get to shove that excuse in my face when you cheated on me.”

“I was drunk!”

“So drunk you could forget your girlfriend of a whole year? So drunk that you forgot someone you saw at least twice a week? I travelled from here to Connecticut for you without fail. The least you could do is be honest with me.”

Regina trembled in shock seeing and hearing Janis screaming like that. But then a feeling of sadness, and anger and guilt all washed over her at once. But, the blonde turned and faced the front door, swallowing the painful lump in her throat. But she still doesn’t leave somehow. 

“Even after such a clear mistake, you still have to be right. I saw you that night in that bar in Queens. I know how you’re like when you’re drunk. You weren’t drunk that night — so don’t bother. I am not someone you can just use and toss. I am not someone you can call just because you need me but when I needed you, you couldn’t do the same for me. You always make up excuses! When have you been honest with me since the name-calling started? A leopard never changes its spots, Gina. I really should’ve known better, you are a motherfucking bitch that deserves nothing for everyone you’ve hurt and treated like collateral damage along the way. Go fuck yourself.” 

————

“You lit her backpack on fire?!” Mrs. ‘Imi’ike screamed at Janis. 

“She was making fun of me! She’s been making fun of me for months! So has the rest of the school, Mom!”

“So, someone calls you a name, you take a Bunsen burner and torched someone’s bag?”

“A name?” Janis scoffed, “She called me an obsessed lesbian. She outed me, she humiliated me. She made my life hell.”

“You should not have done that.” 

“Sandra.” Her dad interjected, “No. Janis wouldn’t have done something like that for no good reason.”

“We raised you better than this.”

“You raised me to stand up for myself. I’ve been nothing but tolerant of all sorts of nasty names and insults thrown in my face. I couldn’t take it anymore, I cannot face anyone in that school anymore. I’m done.”

“Ben, she committed a violent act.” Sandra turned to face her husband.

“Do you hear what she’s been saying, Sandra? Our daughter was bullied for months and we had no clue. We failed to protect her, we failed to help her. This isn’t her fault.”

~~~~~

She had the blade in her hand, her eyes closely looking at it, then her wrist. Her hand was shaking, she was terrified. But her fear of her ex-best friend overpowered the fear of her own actions. The metal slides across her tender skin, bright red droplets trickled out from the cut. Janis took a sharp inhale, chewing on her lower lip to keep from making any noise. In that moment, the noise in her head was silenced and replaced by white hot searing pain from the self-inflicted injury. It worked, she wasn’t thinking about the names, about the snickering, about Regina. But actual physical pain that she could control. 

~~~~~

“We can’t afford to homeschool you, Janis. We have to work.” Ben apologised.

“I know.” Janis fiddled with her thumbs as a force of habit.

“Go grab something to eat then we’ll be on your way to your therapy session.” Ben nudged.

“Okay.” Janis nodded, feeling somewhat defeated. She knew her parents were doing the best they could, but just maybe…her Mom was still just a little mad and would rather be at work than be at home with her. Well, her Dad’s been the only one taking her to and fro therapy and home— Janis had been kicked out of school for the remainder of the year. 

This incident strained the mother and daughter’s relationship but it was almost inevitable. That’s just how Sandra’s been like for as long as she could remember. She wasn’t too flexible. Or open-minded. 

Janis had been going to therapy for three weeks now. That meant six sessions. And she’s cried every time. It was liberating, helpful but also left her a little tired. And a little headache. So that annoyed her a bit but she felt somewhat better and was making progress. 

“Janis, I’ll see you Tuesday.” 

“See you, Joan.” Janis gave the older woman a tight-lipped smile as she chewed on her dry lips, leaving the dimly lit office. 

“Tuesday.” Joan reminded.

“I’ll be here.” Janis answered. 

Pushing the creaky metal door, Janis steps out onto the front steps of the building, the summer heat torching her skin. She squints to be able to see clearly, the sun overhead hurting her eyes. Janis then sees her Dad driving up to the pickup point in the family car. Janis swiftly skipped down the steps and got into the vehicle, wanting to escape the sweltering heat. 

“Hi, ladybug.” Ben smiled, “Do you wanna go for some froyo?”

“Maybe after the next session.” Janis smiled back apologetically, sniffling, “Today’s session really took it out of me. I kinda just want to go home and nap.”

“Yeah, of course.” He nodded in understanding as he began their drive home. 

They got home, Janis took a shower and took a nap. And while Sandra was at work, Ben took the time to make the family dinner tonight. He’d already taken the day off work to keep Janis company after all.

~~~~~

Ben dropped Janis and Damian off at the mall for a movie and a lunch at the food court. The pair hadn’t seen each other in awhile, since Janis had to get used to therapy and being medicated. Nearing the end of summer, everything started to calm down, gaining a new sense of normalcy. 

Just like always, Damian cracked her up. Made her laugh until her stomach hurt. Something she’d missed so much since what happened with Regina. 

“So no homeschool?”

“One of them has to work at least. Dad’s job pays more so my mom wants him to keep at it but my mom’s…my mom. She doesn’t think mental health is a thing. So even though I have the therapist’s memos and shit, she doesn’t want to accept it.” 

“It’ll be okay. I’ll catch you up, the school will know too. I’ll make sure they do.” Damian assured. 

“Thanks, Damian.”  Janis genuinely smiled as she held her milkshake straw between two fingers and gave it a stir.

“Hey, I got your back, okay. You know that. Everyday, since two thousand and nine.”

~~~~~

Janis was doing so well, she really, really was. Until she wasn’t. Two weeks before the new school year started, Janis ran into Regina and Karen at a bookstore. A bookstore out of all places. The blonde sneered at Janis, all while her dad was barely five feet away. The guy definitely saw it and shot the duo a warning glare. The tall blonde only scoffed and smirked, tossed her hair then continued browsing. But not before she purposely walked closer to Janis to try and shove her out of the way. Even an idiot could see that there was a huge space between them at first. “That is enough. What you did to my daughter is unacceptable.”

“Aw, look. Daddy’s little girl needs her daddy to protect her, fight her battles for her.” Regina laughed.

“Let’s go, Daddy.” Janis tugged on his arm. He quickly took her and left without buying anything even though he’d promised Janis a new storybook for all the progress she’s made recently. 

“Ignore her, hm? How about a donut?” 

“No, thanks.” Janis declined.

“A smoothie?” Ben asked hopefully. 

She says no to that, too but they continued their way around the mall for awhile. Janis now knew better than to focus on what put her in a bad mood. “Daddy, maybe we could get some dinner before we go home.” Janis suggested, “Mom’s not in town anyway.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Ben smiled, relieved, “What do you feel like having for dinner?” 

The father and daughter wound up at the food court, enjoying their orange chicken and fried rice then a blizzard each from Dairy Queen to wash it down. By the time they were on their drive home, Janis had forgotten entirely what upset her.

~~~~~

“Why do you think she kissed you?”

“Don’t know, to get a reaction out of Kyle? And me?”

“Alright, but why?” Joan prompted.

“She’s crazy, I don’t know, Joan. I don’t know why my best friend of six years one day decided to pull this stunt and not be the person I knew anymore.”

“How did Kyle react?”

“He— he cheered. He was happy to see us kiss. It was disgusting, he told us to kiss again. Regina almost leaned in for another, I pushed her away and ran out of her house. Gretchen came out to the curb to check on me but I wasn’t having it— she and Regina had gotten close those last few weeks. Regina had not been talking to me as much at that point but this sleepover was a weekly thing and she wanted me there as usual so I went then it happened and changed everything. I knew Gretchen really was worried about me, that’s never changed about her. She’s always been nice.”

“How did you feel when you kissed her?”

“Um—” Janis stopped bouncing her leg, “I…I liked it. Because— I actually, I caught feelings for her over time. But I never told her, I never had the chance to.”

“And how’d that make you feel?”

“Heartbroken. Angry. Like I want to strangle her for saying that I only let her kiss me because I was obsessed with her.” Janis answered, “I really cared about her, I cherished her. I didn’t want to tell her until I was sure she felt the same way. Or maybe I was never going to say anything because I was too scared it would change things between the two of us. Joan…I felt safe with her, then my whole world as I knew it got…wrecked in the matter of minutes.”

“Janis, what do you think caused her to change?”

“She got a boyfriend, I don’t know. Regina George only cares about herself now. Everyone else is like dirt on the ground to her. She saw me at the bookstore and shoved past me even though there was tons of space.”

“It might be deeper than that.”

“How so?”

“Based on what you’ve been telling me, and given how much time you’ve spent together with Regina, she’s never met Kyle before that sleepover and declared him to be her boyfriend.”

“Yeah, well Kyle’s a new kid— oh.”

“I think, she might’ve done what she did because she was trying to avoid admitting to herself that she acknowledged a change in herself when you came out to her.”

“A change…?”

“The feelings, that you had for her. Could be mutual. She just isn’t ready to come to terms with it.” Joan revealed, “I see this quite a bit even just in a week. But, be that as it may, her outing you and publicly humiliating you was not the way to go.”

“Yeah no shit.” Janis chewed the inside of her cheek.

“Janis, what do you do in your free time?”

“You mean everyday? I got kicked out because I finally retaliated, remember?” Janis laughs. 

“Well, I remember. But I was just thinking maybe picking up a new hobby or two that you can focus on, that you really enjoy and immerse yourself in.”

“Well, I like art so I’ve been sketching and painting a whole lot more over the summer since I naturally have a lot of free time on my hands.”

“Good.” Joan nodded, “Make use of art, channel your emotions into your pieces. I could help you work through some of it without you actively realising. I know the sessions sometimes take a lot out of you, you feel a lot in the 45 minutes. Very intensely. Art could let you have an outlet to release those emotions and thoughts. On top of the methods we’ve began to discuss, that is.”

Janis gave the lady a solemn nod, “I will. I’ll stick to it. Um, running into Regina that day upset me. I wish I hadn’t seen her because I was doing so well.”

“The thing about healing and recovery is that it takes time. And it’s never really linear all the time. These encounters are bumps in the road, little dips in the chart.” Joan explained, “How you respond and move forward from them is what matters. And what tells you where you are in your progress.”

“Me and my dad, we left the bookstore and we carried on walking around the mall. He offered to buy me a donut, a smoothie— declined. Didn’t feel like it because in that moment I just lost my appetite.” Janis began, “But then we just kept walking and window shopping, and the…encounter was tossed to the back of my mind, I could pretty quickly focus on what was in front of me instead of what’s already happened.”

“See? That’s great, that’s progress. Improvement. It will take time, but with the effort you’ve been putting in, you’ve got it.”

~~~~~

“What?” Damian glares at the blonde. “What the hell did you just say to me?”

“I said you were stupid. Stupid for believing her. She’s clearly doing all of this for attention.”

“I think you are. You put on that damn show asking if you could kiss her. You are one messed up person.”

Regina raised her brows, the smirk never leaving her face. “What am I doing, Damian? Straight A’s, I look put together, great friends. Meanwhile she looks like she just rolled out of bed and came to school.”“You? Straight A’s. Don’t go lying to yourself, Regina. That’s very stupid of you. Keep her name out of your mouth while you’re at it. You’ve decided to let her go, so do that. Otherwise, you’re like, the one obsessed with her or something.”

Janis’ hatred for the girl only grew with each passing day. The sight of her made her sick, and also made her want to punch the wall. But she wasn’t going to damage school property and let herself be the one getting into trouble. Not again. Regina George wasn’t worth it. Damian was right— she’d decided to let her go, so Janis should be treating Regina as if she didn’t exist. As if she was invisible. 

~~~~~

“I made a mistake.” Janis revealed as she sunk into the armchair, “I was six weeks clean. Six weeks. But last night I spiralled and it happened again”

“We talked about this, picking yourself back up and moving forward is the way to go. Take care of it, get it cleaned and bandaged because we don’t want infections. But you recognise this action, you know not to dwell on it. You have the ways— other ways to help you work through the urge.”

“I wasted my effort. This was the longest I’ve ever gone without doing that.”

“No, no effort was wasted.” Joan disagreed, “Janis, would you have talked to me about this if it was even just a month ago? Would you have successfully calmed yourself down and called me to tell me you needed to see me sooner?” 

“No?”

“Precisely.” Joan continued, “That, you making that call to me, to tell me what you needed was a result of your effort, you know what’s good for you, what can help you after a mistake, after a little slip on your journey. Remember that, be proud of that, the little wins. One by one, they’ll add up and become a major change in your life. A good change.”

~~~~~

“Move your fat ass out of the way, ‘Imi’ike.” Regina snarled.

Janis stiffens, scurrying out of the way, her back pressed up against the lockers as she stared at the ground when Regina and her posse walked by.  

Again, there was plenty of space around them. Janis just got startled, and reacted. She’d already had a rough morning hearing her parents get into it, fighting about her. “Either you eat faster and go on your way to school, or don’t eat at all.” Her mom bellowed irritatedly. Janis jumped, scared. Sighing, she scraped her plate and left it in the sink then promptly left the house. Her Dad caught up and drove her to school. “Get breakfast when you arrive in school, okay? It’s still early.”

“Okay, Daddy.”

The rest of the ride was silent with the exception of the radio playing in the background. It wasn’t a long ride, anyway.

“I’ll see you right here after school, okay, ladybug?” Ben pulls up in front of the school.

Janis nodded, he kisses her on the head and gave her a hug from the side.

“I love you, have a good day.”

“Love you.” Janis forced a smile before she got out of the car.

A tap on her shoulder pulls her back into the present. “Jesus, Damian! You scared me.”

“You told me to look for you at your locker after school. What were you expecting?” He teased.

“Nothing, I just got scared that’s all.” 

“Well, I’m sorry.” Damian apologises, putting an arm across her shoulders, “Let’s go get burgers.”

Janis gulped, Regina's comment rang through her ears again: “Move your fat ass out of the way, ‘Imi’ike.”

She shook her head as though to get rid of that voice, then continued making her way out of the school building with Damian. They walked to their usual after school spot — their favourite fast food restaurant to enjoy their favourite burgers and fries.

Janis was starving, the school lunch sucked so she was glad to be able to get her favourite food here. But after awhile, the annoying voice came back. “Woah! May be  time for you to get a bigger sized shirt, Jan. That is not a cute look.”

“Kalua pork and rice again? You oughta cut down on that meat intake. You’ve really let yourself go these days.” The blonde sighs. 

“Look at me.” Damian snapped his fingers in front of her face to get her attention.

“What?”

“I know this look.” Damian admits, “She said shit to you, didn’t she?” 

“Since when does she not, Damian?” Janis dropped a fry back onto her plate. 

“She’s a bitch. She ain’t worth any of your time. Focus on yourself.”

“I may be focusing on myself too much.”

Damian quirked a brow, seemingly having figured out what Janis meant. “No fucking way.” 

“Oh she did. First thing she says to me every day now ever since you know — my body changed.”

“She called you obsessed? Who’s the obsessed one now? She’s always thinking of you, my friend.” 

Janis guffaws, “No thank you.” 

~~~~~

Tossing her clothes into the hamper, Janis grabs her towel and a fresh change of clothes then walked to her bathroom. Out of nowhere, the mirror caught her eye and she stopped in front of it. She looked at the reflection of her new body that she was still trying so hard to get used to. Puberty sucked— why’d her body have to change? Her hand glided down her side, stopping right by her hip. Her fingers pinched the flesh, her eyes traced her own features. Squinting, as if to look closely, as if to commit how they looked in to her memory. 

When did she get this extra flab?

When did her thighs start getting so close together?

When she seem this short? Why was she still so short? 

Janis groans, rolling her head and shoulders to relax the tension. “God, I’m fat.”

~~~~~

February, Valentine’s Day was in a week. Kids around her were all buzzing with excitement, talking about their mushy gushy plans. Janis shuddered at the thought. 

Pulling her sleeve down as she walked to her locker, “Oh, wow. Daddy’s sweater?” 

“Yeah, so? Mind your business.” 

“Smart choice, really covers up your problem areas.” 

Janis got her chemistry textbook out of her locker, shut the door and swiftly left the area. 

After school that day, Damian went to therapy with Janis. He waited outside, of course. 

“Hi, Janis.” 

“Hi, Joan.” Janis put her bag down and sat in the armchair, like always. “So…Regina really, really pissed me off today. I don’t know why— it wasn’t even that bad of a remark compared to what she usually says.” 

“What did she say?”

“She made fun of me for wearing my Dad’s sweater. Said it was a smart choice because it covered up my problem areas. She’s been calling me fat for weeks— directly, or indirectly.”

“And how have you been doing with that?”

“Oh.” Janis laughs, “Art pieces have been piling up.”

~~~~~

“Janis.” Sandra narrows her eyes at her daughter, “Eat the food, don’t just push it around on your plate.”

“I already did.”

“Finish it, you just told me the school lunch tasted horrible. It’s dinner time now.”

“I’m full.”

“You’re wasting my food.” Sandra continued, clearly unhappy. 

Ben looked between them both, concerned. For different reasons. 

“I said I’m full.” Janis inhaled sharply, gripping the metal fork tightly. Then she drops it, it hits the plate noisily. Janis got up and ran up to her room. 

“Janis!” Her mother shrieked, “You better stop that and get back down here. Finish your dinner.”

Janis stopped on a step, hesitating. But, she continued stomping upstairs despite that. “She’s crazy. How is she full?”

“Sandra, you can’t just say these things. You know that.”

“And she knows better than to take that plate for herself if she isn’t going to finish it.”

Ben sighs,”That’s it. I’ve had enough.”

“Well, good.” Sandra smiled.

“Of you. I’ve had enough of you.” Ben clarified, “You are no good. You don’t see how hard she’s trying to get better. You don’t hear how loud she was struggling. I’m doing my job as her parent and helping her. You are just here, day in and day out with useless, and harmful comments that you think you can just say and think she doesn’t hear you. Guess what? She hears you, she takes your words to heart because you are her mother. What you say to her means more than you know. You either stop this damn behaviour or I’m taking Janis and we’re moving.”

Sandra arched a brow looking at him, “Okay. Move out.” She retrieves an envelope from her bag on the couch, handing it to Ben. “Sign the papers, then you’re free to go with her.”

~~~~~

“Janis, you have to come see me tomorrow.”

“Rather not.”

“Why not?” Joan asked.

“Because, I’m tired.”

“And I want to talk to you about some things, it will help.”

“My parents got divorced.”

“I’m aware, Janis. You texted me about that.”

“Should I switch schools?”

“Of course you can.” Joan replies, “I’ve talked to your father about getting you into a different school as a possibility. He has left that choice up to you.”

“Joan, I know that. He told me that, but I’m— not sure.”

“Tell me more.”

“Well, having to start over is scary. And it’s my last year until high school, so it seems…not worth it?” 

“Is the thought of being in a brand new environment more tolerable, or the thought of being in the same space as your bully? It may be your last year, but every day should count. You should be living a life where you put yourself first.” 

“I know what to do. Thanks, Joan.”

~~~~~

“Stop laughing and go do your homework.”

“Already done, mom.”

Sandra;s nostrils flared, “I’ve had enough of your attitude, Janis. After everything we’ve done for you, you repay us by getting into trouble, becoming gay and wasting your Dad’s time and money sending you to therapy. Those are all just excuses, Janis.” 

“All those didn’t happen overnight.” Janis’ heart sank. She had tears quickly welling in her eyes. Why was her mother like this? Why doesn’t she love her?

Quietly slipping upstairs, Janis carefully shut and locked her door. Going up to her desk, she pulls out this stack of enveloped notes from her drawer and placed it on the desk. She sits on the edge of her bed, skilfully retrieving the blade she hasn’t seen in ages from her nightstand. She was crying,  she could feel the tears hitting her thighs, hitting her forearms. When she went ahead, it stung— at first. But she was used to this, so she repeated her actions, only wincing when her salty tears hit the sites. Over and over, deeper and deeper. Her grip goes weaker and weaker…her vision was blurred by her tears but she blinked them away and her vision comes back into focus. Janis sees the photo of her as a child, with her father at Pololū Valley…back home. In Kohala. How Janis wishes she could be home. Not here in this house. The blade falls from her grip, hitting the floor. Janis curses, beginning to feel lightheaded. Blinking profusely, she was suddenly aware of the excruciating pain and was doing everything in her power to not scream. 

Holding her phone with a shaky hand, Janis dials her dad’s number. He picks up in seconds, “Daddy, daddy I’m sorry. Please help me, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to.”

His blood ran cold hearing how broken she was. “Ipo, I’m calling 911 right now. Will you stay awake for daddy? Please, ladybug? Promise?”

Shit. Ben was only out of the house for awhile— he’d went to the bakery nearby to get Janis’ favourite cake as a reward for a 94% percent on a math quiz.

“I promise…but it hurts so much, Daddy.”

“I know, ladybug. I gotta hang up, but I’ll be right there with you, I promise.”

A second later, Ben had hung up on Janis to call 911. Janis didn’t stay awake for more than a minute. She’d passed out. Even the thud didn’t alarm Sandra. Not until she saw the paramedics drive up to the house.

~~~~~

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know—”

“You did. You were just too stuck in your own mindset and beliefs. We’re not married anymore. Just go, you’re free.” 

As apologetic as Sandra was now, as much as she’d cried. Ben knew not to give in anymore. Why should he? Janis almost successfully took her own life under her care. Because of her words. 

Janis looked away when she saw her mother turning her head to look at her. She hated her. Janis hated this woman. And she wasn’t sorry about it. Why should she? 

“Daddy, I wanna go home.”

“I know, I know. You can’t just yet.” Ben cups her face, brushing her tears away. “But I promise you, we will.”

Janis spent three days under constant supervision, then three months in the psych ward.  Her education had no doubt been put on pause, but that meant full, undivided focus on her recovery— anxiety, depression, self-harm and disordered eating. She really buckled down and put her heart and soul into getting better. For her own sake, she wanted to get out and do more. Go back to school, make new friends, spend time with Damian— she wanted to live life again. 

~~~~~

“Here’s the cake I owe you.” Ben smiled, letting go from the hug, “Welcome home.”

“Thank you, Daddy.”

“It’s nothing.”

Janis shook her head, “Thank you. For everything.” 

“It wasn’t all me, ladybug. You’ve done a whole lot of work for yourself to get to where you are now.”

“Can we go to the beach, please?” Janis smiled, sniffling. 

“And get shave ice?” Ben asks with a chuckle.

“Always.”

~~~~~

The Plastics were in O’ahu for their high school graduation trip. Janis didn’t know until Damian brought it up. This was the first time she’s heard that name or seen that face since she moved back to Kohala with her Dad following the divorce. Janis was turning 14, and they had to make do with living out of a room in a relative’s home for awhile, but Janis has never been happier. To be homeschooled, to be here, to be home. At peace, at last. 

“Well, when are you coming here, dude? I miss you.”

“Next week, Janis.” Damian says, “I’m a broke ass bitch, had to book my flight out for the date that’s the cheapest.”

“Alright.” Janis laughs heartily, “See you soon.”

“Lunch is ready, Janis.” Her aunt knocks on the patio door.

“I’ll be there in a second, ‘Anakē. Just have to finish up this part of the piece.”

“Okay, honey.” 

~~~~~

“Janis? Oh, my God. It’s you.” A familiar voice stops Janis in her tracks on the beach. She was curious, not tense, or worried, or anxious. She turns around, and comes face to face with Gretchen Wieners. 

“Hi, Gretchen.”

“I’m so glad to see you again.”  Gretchen walked closer, Janis smiled wider. And then, they hugged.  “I didn’t know you moved back here.”

“I didn’t tell anyone.” Janis chuckles, “How are you?”

“Our senior class is here for a graduation trip. Regina is nearby if you’d rather steer clear of her.” Gretchen said, then her voice trails off at the end. Janis squints, “Are you okay?” 

“Uh, yeah. Just— Regina is behind—”

“I am sorry.” Regina began once Janis turned around the other way to look her in the eye, “But I know it doesn’t cut it. I’ve hurt you. Everything you’ve been through started because of me. I don’t know what else I can say except apologise over and over and over hoping that you hear me. That you acknowledge it, you don’t have to forgive me. I deserve it. And more. Janis, you were the greatest loss of my life.”

This was the first time Janis had been calm in front of Regina. First time since they were friends. Damn, how long ago was that?

“I was a nasty person, in denial. But I…I’ve missed you every day that I’ve spent apart from you.”

~~~~~

Janis was certain she was dreaming, feeling the girl’s lips against her own, eager, tender, exciting, and filled with yearning. After six long years, they have both found themselves, and their way back to each other.  

“Are you sure you want to—”

Janis answered the question by connecting their lips.

One thing led to another quickly, becoming increasingly heated. Regina backs Janis onto the mattress, straddling her smoothly.  “I’ve missed you so fucking much. I can’t believe it took me this long to accept that I was gay.”“Just kiss me already.” Janis pulls her down.

Regina chuckles into the kiss, unbuttoning Janis’ shirt and reaching back to unclip her bra, freeing the girl’s breasts. As Regina kisses a trail along her jaw and down her neck, Janis’ head got thrown back as she swallowed a low noise.  

“Holy shit, that is a gorgeous tattoo.”

Janis chuckles lowly when she feels the blonde’s fingertips tracing the art, “Thanks.”

~~~~~

“Fuck— I— I love you.”  Regina panted, falling onto her back next to Janis. Janis laughs breathily, in disbelief of what she’d just heard. 

“Okay. Wow.” Janis turned her head to look at Regina.

“I do. And I have for years. I just couldn’t—”

Janis smiled, brushing the stray hairs out of the blonde’s face, cupping her cheek. A sleepy smile tugs at her lips. 

“Where are you going for college—”

“Can we talk about this tomorrow? When we’re more awake and alert?” Janis requested.

Regina hums, nodding, “Yeah, that’d be better.”

~~~~~

In the fall, Regina starts college at Yale, and Janis at NYU. The couple did long-distance but saw each other in person at least every other week. 

This new stage of their lives was going well. They were thriving, but by the summer, Janis notices Regina getting more and more withdrawn, and cold. Snarky, like her old self. 

Over a late night FaceTime call, Regina reveals that she’d relapsed. She was struggling with bulimia again after being three years in recovery. Despite all efforts, Regina deteriorated and had to be in the hospital. 

At first, Regina only took a leave of absence. But then she’d eventually withdrew her name from school. Janis did all she could to support her girlfriend, but it was so tough. She’d started to shut everyone out. 

They’d then decided to return to their regime of FaceTime calls— everyday. The distance allowed them to cool off. For Regina to focus on recovery, for Janis to focus on school. There wasn’t any more Janis could do at this point. She wasn’t a medical professional. 

~~~~~

After a full year in the recovery facility, Regina could finally go home. Home, as in Chicago. But June did something— she’d bought Regina an apartment in New York so she could be closer to Janis. So then, their relationship went on without another mention of Regina’s eating disorder. Like it’s never happened. 

They were healing, they were fulfilled, they were happy. 

Were they really happy? Or in denial of their past and choosing to forget instead of process them?

Janis knew she was the happiest she’s ever been. The most authentically herself.  But she’s had times where she found herself wondering if Regina was indeed happy to be with her.

Her gut was trying to tell her something.

————

After four years in the city that never sleeps, Janis was once again back where she was meant to be. Home. With her family. 

“New York was fun, huh, ladybug?”

“It was. It was…something special. Learnt a lot, about myself, about other people.”

“I know, honey.” Ben nodded in understanding, “Hey, maybe we should make it our thing, to go to the city every year? It’ll be fun.” 

“I’d like that.” Janis agreed.

“Did you manage to meet anyone special?” 

She laughs, “I have been talking to this girl in one of my lectures, but no, not dating yet.” 

“Ua ola loko i ke aloha.” Ben reminded. 

“Love gives life within.” Janis grins, “I know, Daddy. When the timing is right, what’s meant to happen will happen.” 

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

[wundurrae]

@rattatoinger

saw someone do something similar and got motivated lol

I present to you…Albert rates F1!!! ( but they know nothing )

(parentheses is my input)

Oscar Piastri: He’s so me! He kind of looks like a side character in a Disney movie, he looks like the best friend of a Disney original movie whose there for like the first 10 minutes of the movie and then you never see him again. He’s silly.

Lando Norris: He has very strange unexplainable vibes. If he was next to me on a bus I’d scoot away. If he was my Uber driver I would play those “play this if you feel unsafe” audios. He also looks like he’s gonna have a mental breakdown. One curly fry in his normal fries away from ending it all. Probably be really good at the uncanny valley trend ( for some reason ).

George Russell: He looks like a middle school boy. Like an elementary school boy. He looks like when you open Facebook and there’s just a random kid. Looks like he’s the little brother of someone at a pta meeting. He made everyone play airplanes with him at recess. Looks like he’d help an old lady across the street but the wrong way.

Lewis Hamilton: Looks like a Dhar Mann actor. Would go on strike. “So you see…” If you stared at him for too long his eye would start twitching. Would flip if you ask him if he’s okay after that. Would be bandit in that one obstacle course bluey episode where he cheats and throws bluey to win.

Charles Leclerc: If he sneezed too hard his hair would jump off and crawl away. A creature. Polite, but a creature nonetheless. Really nice and great but if he stubbed his toe he’d start speaking in tongues. ( When showed a picture of a younger Charles ): he looks like that kid who cried cause his cat was gonna get sold.

Carlos Sainz: gives off the vibe of the guy who green screens himself onto the TikTok thirst traps. If I was in a coffee shop and he was behind me in line I’d get out of line to get away from him.

Max Verstappen: If there was a Minecraft movie he’d play Steve. Really square ( not sure if that’s a compliment ). Would give up his bus seat to a pregnant mother. Delightful. Would be scared of snap bracelets.

Sergio Perez: ( There was silence for a good minute ). Looks like the male version of “A single mom who works two jobs, who loves her kids and never stops.” Tucks phantom hair behind his ear and bats his eyelashes.

Logan Sergeant: Looks like Preston plays. Looks like he gets called a meow meow on tumblr. Would insist on watching horror movies but then scream and hide behind the couch when anything remotely scary happens. If he smiled really wide all of his molars would be gold teeth.

Alex Albon: He looks like if Mikey from tmnt was a person. Would partake in the trend where people do the spin and their boyfriends run in and grab them. Would have eaten glue as a kid. Gives off square marble vibes. Spoon in the fork drawer. Would also give up his seat to a pregnant mother.

Fernando Alonso: He has the human eyes that dogs have. Wouldn’t scoot away, I would just get nervous everytime he moves. At least once in his life has held out a hat for a penny.

Lance Stroll: Looks like he posts TikTok thirst traps but all the comments are making fun of him. Would turn around and say “so erm…that just happened.” Give the waiter a stink eye if they took too long to get his water. The villain in the Dhar Mann universe. Would be given a shitty redemption arc that doesn’t redeem him.

Esteban Ocon: ( Would have said toxic masculinity but saw the photo of him with the face mask things on ). Looks like he glued his hair back on. Looks like nat the rat from Barbie island princess. Why does he have an eagle? Looks like he was born in 2017 and never left. Also gives off “erm…so that just happened.”

Pierre Gasly: Is he ugly on purpose?

Yuki Tsunoda: I like him! Looks like he’d be mischaracterized by an entire fandom. Would be called “a little bean” and never be able to escape it. Guides an old lady across the street but the right way. Tried an ouija board and got cursed. Would say he’s a pro gamer but only plays fortnite and is kinda bad.

Daniel Ricciardo: Coquette. Looks like he sings the song that goes “Baby lock them doors and turns them lights down low.” Gives off the vibes of the “ROOTBEER” guy. ( when shown one specific picture ) LOOKS LIKE THE THUMB PEOPLE FROM SPY KIDS.

Nico Hulkenberg: Looks like a street interviewer. “Reminds me of Johnny Bravo as well” If Johnny Test was raised in a normal family with good values. Looks like a very distant cousin twice removed of Gordon Ramsey. Unironically listens to Ed Sheeran and plays it REALLY loud. You’d catch him humming “Shape of You” Looks like he’d go to a library solely for picture books. The uncle that only shows up to weddings and gets absolutely wasted. He probably ate his twin in the womb.

Kevin Magnussen: Thought his name was Kevin Magnussy. Is always in pain, even just a little bit. Turned 9 and went “augh my knees…” Eats garnishes off dishes ( forced to specify: grabs them full force with closed fist, gripping it, shoves it into his mouth and then goes back to normal ). If you tried to tell him about your interests he’d go “haha yeah” and walk away. Looks like he’d say “Don’t kill yourself…You’re so sexy haha”

Zhou Guanyu: ( When learning about his cat ) Sweetcorn? That’s cute! Would hear about controversial topics but does not research. He definitely posts fake paparazzi videos. Reminds me of the baby in the sardines commercial in cloudy with a chance of meatballs.

Valterri Bottas: Looks like Bertram. Drinks the ink out of pens ( force to specify: would drink the ink out of pens, you’d come back and ask him where it went, deny involvement but all of the ink would pour out of his mouth ). Looks like he purposefully goes into target and scratches the bottoms of Stanley cups off to give everyone lead poisoning.

[xo-lesserafim]

FALLING FOR YOUR SMILE AND EYES

EPISODE 2. WTF

author’s note: Episode 2 , LETS GOOOO! But thank you for reading<3. But i make each chapter or “episode” while watching the actual one so thats why I’m word for word<3

Bold: Korean

Italics: Over the phone

Both: Korean and Over the Phone

Back to masterlist

“KITTY” I yelled trying to find her.

“Kitty! Are you okay?” I asked once I found her.“

No, I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me” She says almost bursting in tears.

“ Hey, it’s okay. Don’t cry.” I said.

“Just Stop trying to comfort me Andrea.” Kitty said.

I felt hurt but she didn’t mean it, right?”

But I still stood, maybe to still comfort her.

“Dae, I don’t wanna talk to you. Just leave me-.”

“Sorry, I’m just looking for the loo” A guy says.

“I’m Alex Finnerty from Melbourne, Australia. I’m a new teacher here this year.”

“ Why are you not Dae?” Kitty asks.

“ You mean the guy you don’t wanna talk to?” Alex says.

“Are you all right? Can I get you anything?” Alex asked.

“ Never mind.” Kitty says. “ You’re American, right?”

“ Yea” I said. “ I really admire you guys over there.” “…… also very loud.” Alex says.

“ What?” Kitty says.

“ I just notice that Americans speak louder than everyone else.”

“Forgot everything that just happened.” Kitty says.

“ I am going back in there and I am not leaving without answers. Let’s go Andrea.”

“ Excuse me” I ask.

“ Those two girls treat Korean Guys like Pokémon. They are trying to catch them all.” The guy said.

“ Not interested.” “ Get over yourself. I’m trying to help her find Dae.” I say.

“Okay, who are you?” Q asks.

“I’m Andrea Song Covey.”

“ And I’m Kitty Song Covey.”

“ You’re Kitty and Andrea?” Q asks.

“ Wait are you Q?” Kitty asks.

“ Track Star, fellow American, heart of gold?” I finished.

“ Guilty as charged. I feel like we should hug right now. Should We?”

“ Maybe later. I need to find Dae.” Kitty says.

“ So you’re the pen pal?” The other guy asks.

“ So you’re Minnie Mouse?” I reply back. “

If he’s Q, then you must be Min Ho.” Kitty says. “ Of course you are. Where’s Dae?”

I followed Kitty to find Dae.

“ What the hell is going on?” Kitty asks.

“ It’s not what it looks like.”

“It looks like you’re a cheater. Are you not upset? He’s been cheating on both of us.” She says to Yuri.

“ No he’s been cheating on you. I already knew about you already. Dae’s American pen pal. I just didn’t know you were you until a few moments ago.”

As Kitty crash into the dessert tower, I fell into the cupcake so she wouldn’t have to be alone.

I mean this dress isn’t my best dress at-least. “ What? Never seen a girl crash i to a dessert tower before?” Kitty says.

“ And never seen a girl fall into a bunch or cupcakes before?” I say.

“ Nothing to see here, people!” We both say.

As she fell down, I was to kinda catch her you could say.

“ Fine, maybe there something to see.” Kitty says.

“ Kitty are you okay?” Dae asks.

“ Get away from me.”

“ And me.” I said running to catch up with Kitty.

Back in the dorms, we were packing up because I don’t wanna be here with Kitty and I feel so bad for her.

When we heard people coming she went to the bed, I went to the door to listen.

“Spill it! When did you get with Yuri? And Where? And how far?” Minho Asks.

“ And most importantly, why?” Q says.

“ Dae you little scammer. What did you convince Yuri to buy you that suit?” Minho asks.

“ How do you know I didn’t buy it?”

“Because it costs 5k.”

“Seriously” Dae says.

“ I don’t know, I feel bad for Kitty.”

“ I don’t.”

“ Thats cold, Min ho. Breaking up with someone is brutal.”

“Except it wasn’t a breakup because it wasn’t a real relationship. No one’s gonna blame you for upgrading a pen pal for an actual girlfriend.” Minho says.

Kitty scoff -shouts.

“ KITTY SHUT THE FUCK UP!” I said whispering.

“Marius?” Q asks.

“ No,no,no!” Kitty says.

“ Your fault kitkat!” I say as we run to our bed to hide.

“I thought Marius went back to Greece?” Q asks.

“ Maybe he changed his mind.” Dae says.

“ Hmm” “Oy, Marius. Wake up! Time for Class!” Minho says as I shush Kitty.

As they were pulling on the blanket we were pulling back to prevent them from pulling off of us.

Once they got it off, I screamed my voice out of me.

“AHHHHHHHH” I screamed.

After screams later the boys went into the living room.

“ Dae’s crazy ex pen pal and her sister broke into our dorm to murder us!”

“ This is our room.” I said.

“ You guys are listed as Song Covey” Q says.

“ So?” Kitty asks.

“ Song can be a guy’s name. That’s why they assigned you guys to the guys dorm.” Dae says.

“What?” Kitty and I say.

“They did this on purpose.

So Kitty could be closer to Dae and Puppy here could get closer.. to me. Plus I thought the little pup knew how to speak Korean.” Min ho says.

“ I told you she was hitting on me on the plane ride over.”

“ I was not hitting on you. But whatever you say Minnie Mouse. And I can speak Korean, I was just blanking out on the time!” I say.

A few seconds later. “Kitty” Dae says. “ Can we please talk?”

“ No, I never wanna speak to you again.” “ Kitty.” “I want my necklace back.”

“ Your necklace?”

“ Yea, the one I gave you when your mom died?”

“ Yea, I have it around somewhere.”

“ Somewhere?”

“ I’ll find it”

“ You don’t even know where it is. Dae, that belonged to my mom.” “

I’ll bring it back to you, Kitty. I promise.”

“Your promises are literally worthless.”

Kitty and I went back into our room. “

All of Dae’s stuff is in the room. Where is he going to sleep?” Min ho says.

As Min ho was saying that Kitty threw a pillow in his face.

In early morning, when Kitty and I were ready to leave for the airport, we had to snuck around Dae.

A few minutes later , Dae was coming over to talk with Kitty.

“ Kitty! I’ve been all over campus trying to find you. Listen, what you saw yesterday me— Sorry. Umm,. The Truth is that— Why is she calling me?”

“ Cause she’s your girlfriend.”

“ No. Just let me explain Kitty.”

“No. After everything, there’s nothing you can say that’s gonna make me stay.”.

“ Maybe there’s something I can do.”

As Dae and Kitty were about to kiss “Dae Heon!” I heard, Dae’s dad was Yuri’s Driver?

As Kitty and I were going to the dorms I heard Q and Min Ho say

“ Dae, have you seen this video of Mr. Han? It’s kind of blowing up.” “ I bet Yuri loves the drama.”

“ I don’t particularly care.” Kitty says as I’m walking to see the video.

“Kitty. Andrea.” Q says.

“ I thought you guys left.” Min ho says.

“We did, but we decided to stay.” Kitty says.

“ And not that it’s any of your guys business, but it isn’t about a boy.”

“ Oh, sweetie” Q says.

“ Our mom went here and being here makes me feel closer to her than I ever have been.” I say.

“WAIT! Dae is on TV?” Kitty says as she pushes me to Min ho and makes me fall on top of him.

“Get off me Puppy.” “

No, MINNIE MOUSE!”

“Guys, shush” Kitty says.

“ so lettuce move on” Gosh I wanted to scream and punch the kid. “

Well played” Q said.

Yuri had tried to hole Dae’s hand, but he wouldn’t let her. “

Oh my gosh. He’s faking it. That’s a fake relationship.” Kitty said.

“Are you sure Kitty?” I said.

“Yes, I’m sure of it.”

PREV EPISODE MASTERLIST. NEXT EPISODE

TAGLIST: @chaewon-slays

Copyrights © 2023 xo-lesserafim. All rights reserved. I do not own XO, Kitty , Netflix does<3 do not copy, translate, or repost anything without my permission.

[paperstorm]

Cheating on someone is most definitely malicious nor careless.. he was gonna move in with the man he cheated on him with… they had too of been seeing each other for a while 

Cheating is a really awful thing to do to someone and I didn’t and wouldn’t say that it isn’t. But I’ve seen some people paint Alex as if he was like a chronic abuser both physically and emotionally for their whole relationship and given that this is a man of colour that we know almost nothing about, that makes me uncomfy. That’s what I was saying, not that it’s fine that he cheated.

[bitbybitwrites]

Five fics under 500

Rules: 5 fic recommendations that are currently under 500 kudos. Let’s give these fics the love they deserve!

Thanks for the tag, @myheartalivewrites!

I'm gonna cheat a bit and do 5 fics each for the two main fandoms I'm currently very much in love with 😉 : RWRB and Klaine. Can't hurt to give more fics love, right?

Stories listed under the cut/pictures.

Tagging if you want to play: @gleefuldarrencrissfan, @rockitmans @1908jmd, @special-bc-ur-part-of-it, @forabeatofadrum, @daisyishedwig, @datshitrandom, @clottedcreamfudge, @welcometololaland, @madas-ahatters-world, @gleefulpoppet, @heartsmadeofbooks

RWRB fics:

the sadness you carry, it hangs like a ghost by @14carrotghoul

Summary:

“There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you two. For anyone in our group, really.” She pauses as a quote comes to mind and continues, “’I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not in my nature.’” She sets the menu down and smiles at her Jane Austen buddy. “Thank you nonetheless… and I'm sorry you’re not handsome enough to tempt me,” he adds. AKA June and Henry's fake cafe date.

*****

Take me where I cannot stand by @clottedcreamfudge

Summary:

Henry blinks at him. “Galactapol?” “Yeah, you know – the Intergalactic Peace Force?” “Yes, I know them,” Henry says drily, “but you said—” “We don't have a lot of respect for them around here,” Alex informs him succinctly. “If that's the kind of line you wanna take, then maybe—” “No, no,” Henry says hurriedly, straightening up. “Galactapol. I like it. Catchy, even.” “Read the contract or don't, Fox,” Alex says firmly, pressing his own hand to the line of studs between the engine room and the lower corridor. “I can find another engineer if I need to, but you'll never – and I mean never – find a ship like this again in your life. Jackie's one of a kind.” * Space, smuggling, and a ship called Applejack. Everything's shiny.

****

You Make Every Day Feel Like It's Christmas by allmylovesatonce

Summary:

Burned out on work, Alex goes to visit June who is on assignment in a sleepy Vermont town called Snow's Landing. June is determined for him to see where she's been living for the last six months and to love it as much as she does. The most intriguing part of it all is June's best friend there, a man named Henry, that Alex believed was a jerk at first but is starting to discover a new side of as they spend more time together.

****

Help Me Hold On to You by affectionatelyrs

Summary:

“I can’t do this all the time, Alex,” Henry huffs out, arms crossed from the opposite end of the couch. “I’ve been more than happy to help, and I’ve been doing so as much as I can, but we need to talk about it. It’s been…a lot for me.” Too much. Henry doesn’t say it directly, but it’s the undercurrent of his words. Two words that Alex has heard many times in his life, over and over again until they became permanently pressed into his eyelids like a brand, reminding him of his state of being every time he so much as blinks. - Or, Henry isn't always able to give Alex the help he needs, which sends Alex into a spiral, but they'll always find a way to work things out together

****

Thin Ice (Series) by Nicolodeon

Alexander Claremont-Diaz, charismatic center for the NHL's Dallas Stars, is completely and utterly smitten with the posh British librarian he met by complete accident. Tonight is the night, and he's got a plan to completely woo Henry and get his man.

***********************

Klaine fics:

My Heart, It Pounds, Yeah You Got Me by nineofhearts, raimykeller

Summary:

Kurt gets drunk and records a TikTok entitled “Guys I Had A Crush On In High School”, in which he talks about, rates, and shows pictures of his various crushes— embarrassing, unrequited, and otherwise — thinking he set it to friends only or private. When he wakes up the next day, he has a flood of notifications that prove otherwise, a hangover, and a text from Blaine Anderson. The longest part of Kurt’s now viral video.

To Shake The Pride of Angels by @the-cimmerians

Summary:

AU, Kurt and Blaine have never met. Until they do.

When I Get You Alone by canarian

Summary:

AU in which Kurt never goes to spy on the Warblers before sectionals. Kurt and Blaine first meet when Cooper takes his younger brother to a strip club to celebrate his 18th birthday. That evening, a chance encounter leads both boys down a path that is more than they bargained for. But when trouble pops up in the form of a familiar face, it could all end before it ever really starts.

Pivot And Slip by alilactree

Summary:

Blaine is a former boxer still struggling with the demons of his past. Kurt is a yoga instructor who may be able to help Blaine with his pent up frustrations, and find the confidence to go after what he wants in the process.

Spotlight by AntarcticBird

Summary:

A small theater, an amazing internship and the opportunity of a lifetime. When things slowly start falling apart, clearly all that's missing is a complete stranger who just wants to make art and help people!

[nikisfwn]

Constant repeat pt.13 reactions

Just my raw reaction to pt.13 of Constant Repeat by @alovesreading (this is a train wreck don’t feel obligated to read it haha)

First off mood board? PLEASE TELL ME ITS WHAT I THINK IT IS. (spoiler alert, it wasn’t but it DID NOT DISAPPOINT)

THIS DATEEEEE

im getting the impression that the mood board wasn’t what i thought…..

HE KISSED HER EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP

My god hes going up to her fucking room.

Im so scared. What the fuck has a done. What’s going on in her little head.

HIS SHIRTS COMING OFF HOLD ON.

OH MY FUCKING GOD THEYRE ABOUT TO FUCK

Hold on wait. (im halfway through the smut but i had an idea and now in dying) if Ella cheats on George with Alex i will cry. Like so hard. Because yes i want Alex and Ella to get together but not if it means Ella cheating on George. Please no

That smut was so hot.

Anyway this shit with Alex is gonna be awkward as fuck.

I feel like something bad is gonna happen. So like um yeah.

Just accidentally closed tumblr so i have to find where i was again.

Right okay I’ve finished so um overall verdict?

Pictures weren’t what i was expecting, well they were but i was expecting it with a different person…. If you known what i mean. I have such a bad feeling about George getting cheated on if him and Ella start dating even though i have faith Ella wouldn’t do that. I dont want ella to leave the uk :( BUT i feel like everything is gonna kick off and get juicy. So y’know we shall see won’t we?

ALSO, that is the quickest i have EVER read a constant repeat chapter.

(may i just say that date was absolutely amazing thank you so much for that)

ok im done now bye! (oneshot out in like 2-3 days btw for those wondering)

[thenasoneshots]

Thomas Oneshot - (Y/n)'s Candy Store

Requested?: No

Prompt: None

Type of oneshot: Songfic/Fluff

Song Used: Candy Store - Heathers

Timing: Modern AU

Reader's Relations: Washington’s Daughter

Warnings: Swearing, implied Lams (John being a gay mf)

Other notes: Reader is seen as the ‘mythic bitch’ of the school. Being able to do whatever she wants because Washington is the headmaster (hehe)

------------------------------------

“-and then I punched him in the face. Again. Like when is  he going to fucking learn that I don’t like him romantically?” I finished, banging my head on the table, the rest of the Hamilsquad sitting around me in the lunch hall, John on my left, Laf on his other side, Alex opposite me and Herc sitting opposite John.

“I wish I was you, (Y/n). I would-”

“We all know, you’d ‘kill to have a guy look at you the way Jefferson looks at me’. You keep saying it, John,” I interrupted him, patting his shoulder, “Don’t worry, if your crush doesn’t man up and tell you he likes you back, I’ll make him,” I continued, sending Alex the side eye of ‘I fucking know you’re bisexual you little fucker. Tell him’.

“(Y/n)... don’t look now, but I think we might have a problem… In the form of a magenta and macaroni-loving piece of shit.”

I rolled my eyes and lifted my right hand up to my face, hoping Jefferson wouldn’t be able to tell it was me if he couldn’t see my face. Unfortunately, it didn’t work.

“Well, hello there, Darlin’.”

“Fuck off, Jefferson. I’m not interested.”

“How did you know I was gon’ ask you out, Darlin’?”

I rolled my eyes, exasperated, before standing up, muttering a ‘watch this’ to my friends, “Are we gonna have a problem? Have you got a bone to pick? You’ve come so far in my books, why now are you pulling on my dick?” I asked, grabbing the cane he always carried around, using the head of it to bring his face closer to mine before pushign him away from me, “I’d normally slap your face off, then everyone here could watch,” I continued, using my hands to indicate the entire lunch hall where the majority of the school was seated, finishing off their lunch, most of the tables being cleared, “But I’m feeling nice, here’s some advice. Listen up, biatch!” I exclaimed sitting on the table my friends were seated at, “I like! Lookin’ hot buying stuff they cannot. I like! Drinkin’ hard, maxin’ Dad’s credit card. I like! Skippin’ gym, scaring her,” I sang out, pointing over to one of the random girls in our year, “Screwing him,” I continued, sending Laf a wink, considering our past hook-up history, it was fun, “I like! Killer clothes, kickin’ nerds in the nose!” I continued, hopping off the table and pretending to kick Jefferson in the nose.

“If you lack the balls, you can go play dolls, let your mommy fix you a snack! Or you could come smoke, pound some rum and coke in my Porsche with the quarterback! Woah! Woah! Woah!

Honey, whatchu waitin’ for? Welcome to my candy store. Time for you to prove you’re not a loser anymore, then step into my candy store. Girls fall at your feet, pay the check, help you cheat. All you have to do is say goodbye to Shamu. That freak’s not your friend, I can tell, in the end, if he had your shot he would leave you to rot! ‘Course if you don’t care, fine! Go braid his hair, maybe Sesame Street is on, woah! Or forget that creep and get in my Jeep. Let’s go tear up someone’s lawn. Woah! Woah! Woah! Honey, whatchu waitin’ for? Welcome to my candy store you just gotta prove you’re not a pussy anymore then step into my candy store. You can join the team,” I continued motioning to my friends, leaning on the cane I’d taken from Jefferson a few minutes prior, proving I was not planning to return it once I’d finished my fun by messing with him, “Or you can bitch and moan. You can live the dream or you can die alone. You can fly with eagles or if you prefer; Keep on testing me, and end up like her!”

At this moment, James came running up to Jefferson, seemingly out of breath, “Thomas, look! Dolley invited me to her party! This proves she’s been thinking about me!” (I hate being mean to Jemmy, but I couldn’t think of anyone else to use)

“Color me stoked!” I heard Jefferson mutter, proving he was still trying to get on my good side, knowing I’d been the one to send James the small note, me being able to imitate anyone’s handwriting.

“Woah! Honey, whatchu waiting for? Step into my candy store! Time for you to prove you're not a lame ass anymore! Oooh woah! Woah oh oh! Then step into my candy store!” I finished, posing whilst holding the cane in both hands (think the end of ‘What’d I Miss?’) before sitting down and finishing off my lunch.

“Okay, fine. Point proven. I’ll leave you alone.”

----------------------

I had been sitting on one of the benches outside, taking in the summer air, when I heard muttering from behind me, “No, you tell her!”

“She’ll be more annoyed if it’s me!”

“She likes you best, John, you tell her!”

“What?! Are you trying to get me killed?”

At this point I got annoyed with the four of them ruining my peaceful break from the school day and stood up, walking over to them, “What are you boys muttering about?”

“John’s got something to tell you, (Y/n)! We’ll leave you in peace!” Alex shouted, pushing John forward before grabbing Laf and Herc by the wrists and dragging them off, leaving me and John alone.

“Listen, (Y/n). Please don’t kill me for this but… the thing is… w-we don’t want to be your friends anymore!” he sputtered, probably trying to get it over with as soon as possible. That was a dagger to my heart. I knew I was a bitch sometimes, but I didn’t realise it was to the point where it made the Hamilsquad scared of me. I nodded, trying to hold back the tears, “Okay, I understand.” I saw John breathe a sigh of relief as he ran off in the direction Alex had dragged the other two off in. I just returned to the bench I was sitting on and sobbed. Not caring any more.

“(Y/n)?”

“Fuck off, Jefferson. I’m not in the mood for you to ask me on another date right n-wait did you just call me by my first name?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry for always pestering you about a date, but that’s not the important thing right now. What is, is you tellin’ me why you’re upset. I've never seen you cry in all the years I’ve known you.”

“Because I didn’t have a reason. I should have known. I should have known those little pieces of shit were only being my friends because they knew it meant they could get away with any prank they wanted to.”

“What?”

“Laurens just came over and told me they didn’t want to be friends anymore. No one likes me for me, they just like me cause of my dad, speaking of, I need to talk to him, if you’ll excuse me,” I spoke, standing up and starting to walk off, before I was grabbed by the wrist, “(Y/n), wait. Please don’t say that. I know one person who likes you for you.”

“Oh yeah? Who’s that?”

“Me.”

I just looked at him in shock, yes he’d been constantly asking me out, but I thought it was just because he was trying to get in my dad’s good books or something, “Y-you’re serious?” He nodded and brought a hand up to my face, wiping the tears from my cheeks, “Honestly. I swear on my life, I like you for you, not the persona you put up in school.” I smiled and placed a hand on his cheek, my eyes flicking between his eyes and lips, but before I had the chance to ask, I was beaten to it, “(Y/n), if you want to kiss me, you don’t need to ask.” That was all I needed, and I wrapped my arms around his neck letting the cane I’d stolen from him drop to the ground, as I felt his arms wrap around my waist.

“Wow… That was… Thomas, can I tell you a secret?”

“Hm, of course, (Y/n).”

“That was my first kiss.”

“H-how?! How can you never have been kissed before? You’re gorgeous,” Thomas asked, a shocked look on his face. I just sighed, “No one’s ever wanted to kiss me before, well not strictly true, I’ve never let anyone kiss me. Yes, I’ve had a boyfriend in the past, but I didn’t trust that he wasn’t using me for my father, so I never let him kiss me, and then he broke up with me…”

“I promise I will never do that to you, (Y/n). Ever.”

MEANWHILE

“What?! She’s giving him a chance?! I cannot believe this. I thought he’d never want to talk to her again if we broke her walls down!”

“That was your plan, mon ami? You broke her apart by making John tell her that we didn’t want to be her friends anymore, just on the off chance that Jefferson would see she’s ‘not as strong as he thinks’ and leave her alone?”

“Laf, this is not the time. Go and talk to her. You were her second favourite after John, who she’s never going to want to speak to again.”

--------------- BACK TO YOUR POV

I smiled sitting next to Thomas at lunch the next day, James and Aaron sitting opposite us, the former having forgiven me for my comments towards him.

“So remind us again how this happened,” Aaron asked, motioning towards mine and Thomas’ intertwined hands.

“Because Hamilton and Laurens and MASSIVE DICKHEADS!” I shouted the last two words, turning around and facing the two boys I used to call friends.

“We said we’re sorry, (Y/n)!”

“Sorry doesn’t make everything better!” I retorted, sending them both the middle finger.

----------------------

“Thomas, stop, we’ll get caught!” I whined out as he pinned me against my locker kissing my neck.

“But I’ve missed you.”

“We’ve been away from each other for one lesson!” I retorted, giving him a quick peck on the lips, “I’ve got to get to History or else my dad will have my head.”

“Since when did you care about what your dad said, (Y/n)?”

“Shut up and kiss me,” I muttered, kissing him again, “Now, let me go and I’ll think about letting you properly meet my parents.”

“Okay, Darlin’,” he replied, standing up and letting me go with a final peck on the lips.

---------------------------END OF ONESHOT

I had no idea where this was going all I had when I started writing this was the ‘Candy Store’ idea, and then it spiralled into the reader not being as tough as she puts on.

[11yearsinthemaking]

The list

A month after I broke up with my longterm ex, I made a list. A list containing my non-negotiables when it comes to a guy that I’d date. Now I won’t disclose what I wrote on that list, but it has all of my 20 non-negotiables (plus 1 bonus). I made this list to make sure that I won’t date or settle with anyone below my dating standards. I noticed kasi na, I slightly became desperate to find someone so soon, to the point na I was already settling for less. Also, sabi nila, you try to list down the qualities you want for your future potential partner, then it will magically manifest daw. So I did. So basically this list served as a guide for me into picking my potential boyfriend. 

Also, I remember Ate Alex telling me “whoever you’re dating is your ceiling”. Now, college me wouldn’t agree kasi nga we were raised and trained to be women leaders and that we need no man to succeed and to tell us what to do or tell us how far we can go in life (career wise). But I just realised something, sometimes you do things not because of pressure from society or fucked up gender roles, you do things out of love. I tell you, I was a super stubborn girl before I met Robi, as in hindi mo ako masasabihan, I do what I want, because nga I was raised that way. But when I met him, I changed from being this stubborn princess to soft girl lady who learned how to listen to other people, most importantly her boyfriend. But anyway back to what Ate Alex was saying, whoever you’re dating is your ceiling because if you’re dating someone average, you’ll be stuck being in average, not because you’re lazy or what, (I mean who the hell wants to be average?) but because you try to level with your partner, you don’t want him to feel like you’re overshadowing him (that’s gonna hurt his ego, trust me and he’ll end up cheating on you). But when you date someone who has goals, who goes beyond average, who works his ass off to have a booming career, someone who knows what he wants and knows hot to it. You’ll end up challenging yourself to become better, why? Because you would want to catch up or keep up with your partner’s success. Now, other people might not agree with me on this but, I mean I know we all have our different goals, but gets? Would you want to feel left out? I think this is a healthy competition among couples, you challenge each other to be and do better. 

Anywhooms, back to The List. I actually prayed to God for him to send me a guy who would tick atleast 16 off my 20 item list. But instead, he sent me a guy who ticked all 20 (kasama yung isang bonus na hindi nakasulat sa list). And now I couldn’t be any happier. 

I’m so glad I made that list. It guided in finding the right person for me, yung pasok sa standards kong (ang taas taas), ergo, Robert. 

[oddballwriter]

MH & EMH Guys When They’re Being Jealous

Warnings: HABIT is here, mentions of being possessive, insecure, and some violence (note in detail I just say it as a possibility) 

Notes: I’m low key a bit mean and shit talk Vinny. So sorry if I’m being rude about your boy.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy!

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Marble Hornets

Tim

When he gets jealous he gets a bit angry

Not really at you, it might seem like he is mad at you, but he’s not

It more so that it’s just a reaction he has towards being jealous since he doesn’t really feel it too much so he doesn’t know how to manage it

I’ve mentioned before that he’s not too good with his feelings 

He sort of shuts down and acts a bit cold towards you

He’s a bit insecure about the idea that he has that he’s not very entertaining or fun

He knows he’s attractive, I’m sure some people have mentioned it to him

But even then, he knows that that’s not enough to keep someone genuinely around

So he gets a bit insecure and thus jealous when you seem to be having too much fun with someone

When he gets like that, it’s hard to snap him out of it because he has a lot of abandonment issues that he’s never had really fully heal

So you need to coax him into talking about why he’s upset all of the sudden and then reassure him that you’re not interested in that person at all

Maybe even tell him that you do find him fun and entertaining in his own way or something

For the most part it’s just letting him know that you’re there with him and that you want to stuck with him only

Brian

Brian doesn’t get jealous in the sense that you’re doing some stuff that sets it off

The jealousy comes from when people don’t know not to try and get with what’s his

He gets it, he thinks you’re very attractive and doesn’t blame someone for trying to shoot their shot

What he doesn’t like is when they keep trying to shoot that shot even when you tell them it’s not gonna happen

I don’t wanna say he treats you like you’re his property, oh course not, he’s a respectful man, he would never see you as just that

But you are his partner and he’ll be damned if someone tries to harass his partner and he doesn’t do something about it

He wouldn’t immediately throw hands though

For the most part he’ll come along the side of you and maybe wrap his arm around you or maybe even say hi to you and give you a kiss on the cheek and then act like he didn’t see the person there

The person typically just go away at that point once he’s there because one, he’s showing signs that he’s your boyfriend and that you really are already taken, and two, he’s kind of an intimidating dude when he wants to be so people kind of get scared and fuck off

He’s a big strong dude, no one sober or reasonable would keep testing it 

Jay

He denies it when he gets jealous and doesn’t like saying when he is

He trusts that you won’t go around cheating on him or leaving him for someone else right under his feet

But sometimes it just shows up 

It usually goes away once he comes to his senses or you reassure him that you would never do that

The have been some times though that someone won’t back off

He’ll actually go to them and straight up tell them to back off

He’s not fighting anyone though

I’m gonna say it

He’s built like a Victorian ghost

No one’s really gonna be scared of him and he might get absolutely folded  

So he’ll just sort of lead you away from them and hopefully they give it a rest and stop

Alex

Alex is similar to Jay in that he trusts that you wouldn’t go around with someone behind his back or have someone steal you from him

I do feel like he is kind of one to maybe throw hands 

But its only if the person starts insulting you or him 

But that’s rare

Most people back off or give up at some point

EverymanHYBRID

Evan

Its not that he gets jealous, more that he gets possessive

But he gets real possessive

Not in the controlling way though, he would never do that

And he inherently trusts that you wouldn’t go after someone else and won’t even think about it unless there was so type of proof or hint that you were fooling around with someone else 

But if he picks up on someone flirting with you, even if you don’t notice it at first, he’s gonna come right in there 

He either just starts being really affectionate like holding you close, giving you kisses, and slightly sweet talking you 

He does it even without someone making moves on you, so you’d think that its just Evan being Evan

But the affection lets the other person know “This is mine. Go away.”

If you can pick up on him doing that and being jealous and mention it, he denies it

“What? Me? No, I don’t get jealous, I just don’t like people flirting with my partner.”   

100% though, if someone tests him, he’s rocking their shit

He knows how to fucking fight dude

And he isn’t scared of nobody or nothing

Vinny

Vinny swears that he doesn’t get jealous

But he does

It mostly comes from a spot of insecurity, similar to Tim 

He feels like he’s not really as fun as Evan and Jeff, or any person for that matter, are

He’s insecure and worried that you’re going to find someone who is more “fun”and entertaining than he is and leave him

I actually feel like if you and Vinny got together but you weren’t already part of the group, he wouldn’t introduce you to Evan or Jeff because of that little insecurity he has

When a moment comes where his jealousy shows up, he gets really quiet and reserved 

He doesn’t want to make a scene about this because he doesn’t want you to know he’s upset

Not to be mean but he’s honestly kind of a baby about it

He has trust in you that you won’t go running off but it just gets to him sometimes

But he’ll get stubborn about not saying anything and just moping 

Jeff

He literally never gets jealous at all 

Like at all

The others have ways that make them jealous like an insecurity, being possessive, or just having random bouts

But Jeff doesn’t really experience those

He has trust in you and understands that some people will flirt with you or try to become a bit too friendly

But he knows that you’ll tell them to knock it off and mention that you’re spoken for

The only way he will ever get jealous is maybe you still talk to and even hang out/are still in close contact with an ex of yours

But even then, you need to be reeeeaaaalllly close to and talk about that ex to make him jealous

But even then he’ll still have faith in you and maybe even be the type of person to bring it up to you

but not in an accusing was, just in a “Hey I notice that this has been happening, can you explain it so that I don’t get mixed up” kind of way

HABIT

I don’t know what you’re really expecting from this other than... he’s the most bad of the bunch

I honestly feel like he’s insanely possessive

Jealous not so much

Listen, if you’re with him on your own behalf, you probably know that trying to run off with another person isn’t possible and won’t last too long nor end pretty

So he doesn’t get jealous of anyone because he knows that his little rabbit isn’t gonna go anywhere 

The possessive bit, one you better believe he’s making sure no one even thinks about trying to flirt with you

I feel like you guys don’t really go out on dates very often but if you do, he’s obviously right next to you and has an arm around you or something that shows signals of you two being a couple

But as soon as someone attempts to flirt with you, he’s on their ass

He’s not even gonna sugar coat it like Evan or any one else on here would

He’s just gonna tell the person to straight up to fuck off and that you’re his

Before anyone asks about it

Yes, I do believe that HABIT would sort of see you as ‘something of his’ as in territory

He does value you as your own person but lets face it he’s gonna see you as a bit of a possession of his but like in a and I hate saying this a bit but I feel like it’s accurate ‘mate” type of way