#I was gonna go on a whole Rant and I will refrain but I needed to get that off my chest at least

[1960z]

genuinely baffled whenever I see someone try to claim maya fey is badly written as if she’s not one of the most empathetic depictions of a 17-19 year old girl I’ve ever seen

[nalyra-dreaming]

Pre season 2 rant - heavy on sarcasm!

This is the... well by now somewhat meditated on rant I promised a while ago. It has a lot of cussing, so be warned.

It is a… summary comment about some views I‘ve seen around, from “bad writing“ to the “abuse“ and other things. Oh, and it's about the "lying" subject. With receipts!

I‘m getting this out of my system before season 2 hits, and before more of the press leading up to it is released, because cast, crew and writers as well as the show have given us all of it already and, tbh, if I‘m going to see anyone scream “bad writing“ or “Louis being made a liar or the memories revisited/changed is racism“ when the changes will hit I‘m just gonna block you.

Fair warning.

This is long… so under the cut.

This show has made color-conscious choices. Brilliantly so. They also have an astonishing meta level.

And what we saw was not the truth.

That much is clear now. HAS ACTUALLY BEEN CLEAR FROM THE END OF SEASON 1 ON.

Jacob has said at the TCA panel that Louis is trying to regain his true memories.

Here is a reminder of some key statements by cast and crew:

Here are interviews and statements by Assad and Jacob and Sam and Rolin and the writers & producers that what we have seen was not the (whole) truth, that Louis’ tale has been “tinkered” with, influenced.

I'm heroically refraining from adding the gifs of Rolin and his statement again. Which are from the episode insider… and remember when that aired?! Yeah… 😒

But I've seen things recently that make me want to pull my hair out, to be frank. For example this, behind the link:

...Like, not making him a whole flat ass liar is actually the point, guys. And no it does not undermine the story....

As the writers said:

I mean, I get it to an extent. It's becoming clearer and clearer that the show some people made up in their heads is not the one they'll be getting. (We've been trying to tell them, but hey.)

Yeah.... That.

Unfortunately @blackgirlasis has blocked me, (and I have returned the favor now that I noticed), we only discussed something recently, but I think the reason might have been after I posted that video, in which it is literally said that "not everything Louis says is a lie", which, given her statements here might speak for itself, especially this part of that statement:

"It is actually ACTIVELY harmful to perpetuate the idea that the Black characters aren't to be trusted with the narrative and that we need Lestat to come through with the honest accounting."

You know, I would actually agree! Which is also why I always emphasized that we did not get the WHOLE truth. I also kept more than hinting at the fact that Armand is, well Armand.

BUT - and here it gets interesting - why is JACOB's - a BLACK man's - statement discarded? Why do they do not want to hear it that Louis does, in fact, lie? And, just to be clear - I do not NEED Louis to lie, nor be proven a liar, and I think the show will do its damndest to explain via the "tinkering" that Armand did. They will give some of the blame to Armand.

But to flip one's shit over argumentation that the MAIN CHARACTER, a BLACK MAN has already stated... that is what I find interesting.

Like, why do you* (*generally spoken, not her especially) accuse people of racism over this, when HE has already said that Louis does, indeed, lie. Why is he not actually listened to? I don't get that. Why is agency taken away from a living, breathing person to give it to a fictional character? Why is his statement that "not all representation needs to be healthy representation" not kept in mind?

Louis is Louis. Louis being color-consciously handled didn't "change the character an awful lot".

JACOB said that. Here. Interestingly enough in a comment about the racial consideration the show does(!).

Louis is NOT a whole other character despite the changes, and the twists that will happen in season 2 were always set to come, as the friggin' video of BEFORE the show aired is proof of. They talked about all that. They know it didn't all happen as shown. They knew Louis did lie. But NOT about everything.

They also knew that some of the scenes did not happen (at least as shown). And now... "it’s clear that Louis is somebody hugely angry with a man he loved deeply and now presents them as a monster…" Also Jacob Anderson.

Presents. Them. As. A. Monster.

Bailey Bass said in the SDCC interview, that it is not clear who is the "villain here" in various scenes, interestingly enough, because the dynamic keeps changing. Which of course was after they shot a myriad of scenes that would not make it into the final s1 cut. Again: why is she not listened to? Why do you take her agency away to give it to a fictional character?

And I'm not even starting on the others. Sam. Rolin. The writers.

Also, re the abuse and scenes being revisited. Again, screenshot as example:

There is nothing simple about this show. Especially that scene.

BUT the show knows what it‘s doing! I'm not going to rehash all that here now, here are links on that.

AND THE WRITERS SAYING IT WILL BE REVISITED... is from December 21, 2022.

DECEMBER 22.

A revisit and a change of that scene will not be bad writing. (Or tasteless.) They already DID so in the last episode of season 1, continuing that will simply fall into line with what we have already been given. That's not bad writing. That's just the show, and there's people who just did not want to examine that.

Because it will be echoed, and it will serve a purpose.

I know the show did the meta level of patriarchal domestic abuse, but for fuck‘s sake, the story itself is about vampires struggling, and Louis is struggling.

The show has a meta level of abuse, and patriarchy, and recognizing is valid and the meta discussions are too.

But Louis is not chained to his coffin guys, he could have left, and a fight which shows off power discrepancies within the show story line is not automatically domestic abuse.

*slow clap*

No-one wants this to happen for the sake of "redeeming" Lestat. Because he does not need that redemption. They're all murderers and monsters.

They kill. For a living. LITERALLY.

THEY ARE VAMPIRES It's not about vampires trying to find their humanity.

It's about vampires trying to find a way to live with themselves, because they are, indeed, monsters.

Doubting the narrative which was TORN APART WITHIN THE SHOW is not the same as bad writing or racism FFS, nor is actually looking at what we're given - and knowing the fucking, 50 year old books. And recognizing the hints and parallels.

I have also seen the take that Lestat isolated Louis... and like, did we watch the same show? You know, even with the vampirism (which, of course™, could not free Louis as promised)...

Months of flirting openly in NOLA, public wooing. DECADES LIVING IN NOLA. Operas. Restaurants. Family dinners. (And Louis stopping Lestat there, AS a mortal...) Cleaning the cribs, years of "human entanglement" because Louis wanted it.... Banjo barbecues, political influence, wakes... Everybody knew.

(Like, I could pull up gifs here.)

"Isolation". Right. It has nothing, at all, to do with the Rite of Passage, or Louis' depression.

Of course not.

I mean, Jacob says that Louis is very depressed during the time leading up to the fight, and his and Sam's discussion here is interesting as well, but hey, I mean, why listen to the actual black actor, right.

As a last thing.

Yeah. Tell me you know nothing about the books without telling me you know nothing about the books.

And, as a note, context is important if you pull up other scenes from the VC.

Welcome to the fucking Vampire Chronicles.

Anyone expecting big bad patriarchal abuser Lestat is not going to have a good time.

And honestly, to those: don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Good riddance - and BON VOYAGE

[oneatlatime]

The Library

Ground hog pipe organ. That's really quite twee.

Since when is Sokka concerned about the time crunch? Although he's right about the whole 'no plan' thing.

Katara is such a little sister sometimes.

Is an ice spring a thing? I feel like we wouldn't have invented refrigeration if ice springs were possible. What a cool idea though.

Dentists aren't a thing in the avatar universe.

Does sword guy sterilise those swords between drinks? How clean are the insides of the sheaths? Why is someone so overqualified working as a blender? How boring is this town that master swordsmen resort to being Magic Bullets to pass the time?

Has it ever occurred to Aang to try to maintain a little mystery around his identity? At the start of the first season, people's first thoughts when seeing an airbender were probably "wow! the fire nation missed one!" but by now it has to be well known that the airbender ping ponging around the earth kingdom is THE avatar. It's not like he didn't have other options. He could have waterbended the smoothie away. He could have asked Katara to waterbend the smoothie away. If I were feeling angsty, I'd say that a child of peacetime just doesn't have it in him to be sufficiently suspicious/cynical to feel the need to disguise himself. But I'm not feeling angsty, so I'm gonna say that Aang had a moment of dumb. Understandable, given he's twelve.

Nevermind! Aang accurately assessed how little he needed to hide himself because this professor is a dumb too!

Cool it with the phrenology.

Finding lost civilisations all over the earth kingdom is apparently a worthless accomplishment. You know, I don't like this guy.

Clam lamp. Coconut lamp?

That fox joke did not land.

This is the Taj Mahal.

Toph's still on probation. Gotta work six months* before you get the benefits package! * or until the world ends with the comet, whichever comes first.

Sokka wants to vacation in a library. I love how unrepentantly nerdy he can be.

Hey. Professor idiot. Wanna find your unfindable library? Go recruit Zuko. That kid finds so well it gives me flashbacks to Hufflepuff jokes.

Not sure what this implies re: the sapience of sandbenders.

The sandbenders have to have learned that move from airbenders. Also isn't that really inefficient? Rotational force goes 360 degrees but they only want force in a single direction. They should have modeled their sandbending on waterbending instead and created a giant wave behind their sleds for them to surf along.

That chin needs scritches.

I hope they're bringing lots of water rations with them. How much water do you thing Appa needs in a day?

Would Sokka, who lives at the South Pole, know what a fox is?

Everyone keeps forgetting stuff this episode. Library is buried? You have two earthbenders and two airbenders.

Love the attitude.

This has been bugging me for a few episodes now so I might as well mention it. I know it's an artistic choice, but: having fingernails the same colour as fingers squicks me out.

Sokka's turn with the dumb. Why would you climb up to the library when three of you can fly? Appa can hover. Just walk down his tail to the window.

That's twice now they've forgetten Toph's blindness. I love her attitude towards them forgetting.

Sokka's boomerang is one hell of a multitool. Whatever it's made of, it's indestructible.

"Don't worry buddy. I'm not making you go underground ever again." I hope that's not ironic foreshadowing.

Stuffed head of anthropology might be an improvement.

The vocal effect on this owl is neat.

Dammit. Now stealing from the pirates is justified.

Why do you even have that? Why did you stuff it down your shirt? Just why?

*Heroically refrains from going on a rant about the value of non-written sources, oral tradition, and pejoratively labelled 'folk' knowledge.*

The Ears!!! Those cute little ears. They have no business being so floppy. Appa & Toph, the duo I never knew I needed.

Appa is a very good listener.

LEFTY SHOUTOUT!!!

Sokka has not only forgotten that he's after a map of the fire nation; he's also stolen the declaration of independence.

Two things: First, this is the best boy. Second, Sokka seems to be a cat person.

You think the Fire Nation, a Nation that knew enough astronomy to correctly predict, plan for, and harness the power of a comet to complete a very successful genocide, doesn't know there's an eclipse coming up and has planned accordingly? Like come on. They named the comet after their Firelord. They obviously know how astronomy works. It would take literally one eclipse, depriving them of their bending once, for the whole nation to become suddenly very invested in predicting the movements of celestial bodies. They know this. I promise you they have safeguards in place. Pick a less obvious time to attack.

So is the owl gullible as all hell or did he let them in to give them enough rope to hang themselves?

Badass line about justifying war. Although equating protecting the people you love with hoarding library books does not hold water.

This owl has far too much neck.

HOW strong is Toph?

This owl sure is destroying a lot of his books.

Sokka doesn't know that Toph is holding up the library right? And there's no way for him to know how quickly/slowly the library is sinking. So this date checking montage makes no sense. Maybe he will find out the date, but if he's sealed underground then it doesn't matter that he learned it.

Do not like.

Very much DO NOT LIKE.

Did they just kidnap Appa?

Should have told him to yip yip. Does Toph know Yip yip?

I am a big fan of Sokka style. Although I'm glad this show aired a decade before Gangnam Style came out, otherwise the memes would have been insufferable.

The owl is going to eat you as soon as it wakes up. Did you see a cafeteria? A water source? Even if you hide from the owl you'll be dead in a week.

Massive points to Toph for holding that up as everyone inside was delaying for stupid reasons.

No.

No you have to give me back Appa before the episode ends. That's the rules.

Final Thoughts

Unacceptable.

This episode felt contrived, everyone involved except maybe Toph had some epic moments of dumb, and to top it all off they stole Appa. I am not amused.

There was lots of setup and little story here. At least that's what it felt like. There were some fairly lame lines that came off as ham-fisted exposition. The ground hog choir was about the only funny bit. Maybe it's the utterly unacceptable ending bleeding backwards and staining the rest of the episode, but I did not like this one. It honestly would have benefited from a Zuko b-plot, and I do not say that lightly.

[an-aura-about-you]

starting in on Handbook for Mortals and I'm just going to cover all the miscellaneous beginning crap that this thing is wrapped in before actually starting on the story.

first thing I'm going to talk about is what's on the back of the book because not a lot of people talk about what was chosen for that. usually there's a brief blurb with the premise of the book or maybe some reviews, sometimes even a little paragraph directly from it to entice the reader. that last one is my standby when I need to put a summary for a fic.

Handbook for Mortals went the route of paragraph from the book as well as three quotes from romance author Skye Turner, who also wrote the foreword for the book, and the promise that this book will soon be turned into a movie. which was due to come out *checks my wrist* six years ago. this has not yet happened, but the author is still insisting it will.

anyway, the bit chosen from the book to highlight what we're getting into is a conversation between our main character and her love interest, which is meant to be some enemies to lovers stuff. but honestly I'm a bit uncomfortable at the, "looked like he might hit me, but I knew that wasn't really an option for him," in there. so, we are already setting up our love interest as a person who needs some kind of mental restraining bolt to refrain from violence instead of just, y'know, not being violent. really speaks to his morals right there. absolutely trustworthy, surely his resolve is ironclad.

this also speaks to the genre of the book because there's a lot of talk about this book having magic and being magical but it's the romance we're choosing to set up here. I think it's safe to say magic is going to be present in this book the way coffee is in a coffee shop au fanfic: it's technically true but it's not why we're reading the story and ultimately not important to it.

I'm not even gonna bother with the blurb on the inside of the dust jacket because it's literally just a synopsis of the entire book. even the ending. I'm not even kidding.

now I wanna talk about the autographs my copy came with. the book I bought for $2 off of Amazon was signed by both the author Lani Sarem and actor-potential producer of the movie Thomas Ian Nicholas, and both of them write some pretty weird things to the people they gave this book to. (there were two names in the personalizations as well as a post-it note with those same names. my best guess is one person in the couple preordered the book with Sarem, requested that it be signed, and then never picked it up. hilarious if true.)

I'll start with American Pie guy's dedication first:

"Be the magician who fools magicians."

like. what? what does that even mean?

Sarem's is both worse and funnier:

"Never forget those who do not believe in magick will never find it! Thanks for believing!"

well I guess they didn't believe too much if they never picked up their book. also that just feels so mean-spirited to me. had I written a similar dedication, I would phrase it as, "Never forget those who believe in magic will always find it!" then it's still exclusive without needlessly dragging others down for ~not being able to find the magic in their lives~. not to mention my own personal pet peeve with the whole magick thing, but that is a rant for considerably later.

there is a typo in the book's disclaimer:

"Any similarity to real persons, living or deal,"

but also that doesn't make sense because I know this book has the real life Plain White T's with their real names as well as Carrot Top and Wayne Newton.

there's also proof that Sarem had permission to use all the song lyrics she uses in the story, which are so copious that without thinking I originally wrote the word, "fic," in this sentence. because yeah, this reeks of songfic, the rare example of one where the person writing has permission to actually use the song. look, I've only seen song lyrics work in a book exactly once, and that was Good Omens. and Lani Sarem is not Terry Pratchett or Neil Gaiman.

(I should know, I just listened to the audiobook for Stardust as a sort of cleanser to remind me what a good book sounds like. it's shockingly refreshing listening to the work of an author who is actually good at their job.)

the dedication is also just. ugh:

"This is dedicated to: The granddaughters of the witches you could not burn and for all those who believe in Magic."

that exists in print in this book. I'm assuming seriously.

I took a peek at how long the foreword is but don't have time to get in on it before I start work today, so this is where I leave things for now.

[itslottiehere]

hello beautiful people 🤍 long time no see, huh?

i just wanted to rant a little bit, if that’s alright with you. if you don’t wanna read, feel free to scroll <3

so! first and foremost i wanna thank you all for the lovely dms, asks and messages you left on my blog or even on other blogs, it really means the world to me knowing that i have created a teeny tiny community in this corner of the web. i love you all so much i can’t really put it into words.

second of all, i don’t wanna sound like i’m “important” or anything because i’m very well aware i am not, i don’t have a big blog or anything, but i do want to answer some of the asks that i have received, asking for the reason why i took this break.

there’s actually a plethora of reasons, some of which are too personal to share on a platform, so i’ll refrain from that.

i was feeling — and still am, at some capacity —extremely burntout. while i believed that the only reasoning behind that was school, exams and the stress that comes with that whole aspect of my life, unfortunately it wasn’t the case: i realised i was feeling that way also because of the people i kept in my life who weren’t bringing me nothing but worry, and who made me feel horrendously, and extremely disposable.

i’ve always been somewhat of a people pleaser, i would always swallow my feelings in order to protect the other person, till i arrived at the point where this couldn’t be sustained anymore and i would either blow up or do something even stupider. and neither of those habits is healthy, which is what prompted the need for a change.

i’ve been taking this time off here — and other social media, even if i recently started posting back on there — to really focus on me and my irl relationships, which were put on the back burner for a long time during exam season. i am trying to let go of people who are not good to me, who don’t treat me as i treat them and how i know i deserve to be treated. i’m actually working hard on that.

i needed to get back to myself, if it makes sense.

it’s not easy, it’s not pretty and it’s definitely uncomfortable, having to grow out of a habit i’ve had for 22 years, but i know that the pain and discomfort is all gonna be worth it in the long run.

i hope you’re all doing splendidly 🤍 you deserve nothing less. i missed talking to you all and hearing about your day, talking about harry and just interacting with you all. if you want to tell me about your day or anything, please feel free to send an ask! i will make sure to read them soon <3

these next few months are gonna be some of the most exciting, full and hard months of my life, but i can’t wait: i’m going to travel, go to concerts and see harry 5 times in different countries and with some of the best people i know, i’m gonna try and take as many exams as possible and just keep living my life as i want to live it. i cannot even tell you how excited i am to experience it all.

this post is queued, so if i don’t answer to your asks or messages please don’t take it personally, i literally just copied and pasted it from my notes app, and i re-downloaded tumblr just to post this.

i’m not sure when, or if, i’ll come back for good, but i just wanted to do a little check in with you all and let you know that i love you so, very much. <3

signing off once again, just for a little while longer.

all the love to you beautiful people,

lottie <3

[prongsprincessworld]

Goodbye.

It shouldn’t have ended like this.

It was unfair, cruel.

Going into the war they honestly didn’t think we would end up apart but, not everything works out, now does it?

She had been running around the castle all morning and afternoon, helping kids get into safe places, helping get potions, supplies and weapons ready. Doing the things she needed to do. He stands off to the side, taking a breather for one second, trying to refrain himself from going up to her to beg for her to take a second to herself. She had always been like this. A people pleaser, wanting to help everyone and everything thing she could before she would even think about worrying about herself.

“She’s truly incredible, isn’t she?” Remus looks over to his left quickly and sees Mcgonagall watching Lucy alongside him. He nods “ye- yeah. She really is. Always has been.” he smiles sadly and goes back to watching his best friend run around helping people.

Mcgonagall nods “I know she has, I did teach her for a whole 7 years you know.” She smirks slightly.

Remus laughs lightly and nods “That’s true Minnie, how could I forget. She needs someone to tell her to slow down, take a breathe. To help her realize she’s fighting in this war too. That her life is just as fragile as everyone else’s, even more so.” he rants.

Mcgonagall smiles softly as she watches him speak about the girl he’s been in love with since he was 11. “Well Remus why don’t you tell her?”

Remus shakes his head “She won’t listen to me.” He scoffs with a small smile “That stubborn girl will tell me she’s listening but will still do what she wants. She’s known me for too long to know that I have a soft spot to her, she knows I can’t get mad at her.” he smiles a little and shakes his head.

Mcgonagall shrugs “Well maybe if you tell her that you’re in love her, maybe then she’ll listen”

Remus looks back at Mcgonagall quickly “W-what? I-“ he huffs “I am not in love with Lucy.” he shakes his head in denial.

Mcgonagall smiles knowingly “Aw, ok well, maybe just let her know your there for her. Tell her how you feel without actually telling her you feel. Does that make sense?”

Remus shakes his head “Not at all-“ And then it happens. The whole castle shakes.

She looks up quickly, making direct eye contact with Remus from where she was across the room.

His eyes widen as he looks at her, begging her to get back to him before the battle begins.

And as if she can read his mind she quickly tells Neville to believe in himself and runs over to Remus quickly and engulfs him in a tight hug.

He wraps his arms around her tightly and pulls her in and looks to his left at Mcgonagall. She smiles softly and nods at him, then walks away quickly to meet Molly at the front doors.

Remus looks back down at Lucy and squeezes tighter “It’s alright darling.”

She pulls away slightly to look at him “I know, I know. You know I just worry.”

Remus smiles a little “I know you do dove.”

Lucy smiles “Right well, we should probably spread out. We’ll stick together when we see each other, ok Rem?”

Remus nods “Ok dove. I’m gonna find you, we’re gonna end all of this together. For them.”

She nods “For them.” Her eyes water slightly as she looks into his eyes. The ones she fell in love with the first time she saw him on the train first year. The eyes she fell in love with the moment she looked into them. The eyes that she has studied and memorized for the past 25 years. The eyes that she swore had flecks of gold in them. The eyes of the man she has loved since she was 11.

He smiled down at her. His eyes watering slightly. He was looking down at the girl that he’s loved for what it seemed like was his entire lifetime. The girl that walked into their train compartment first year, just welcoming herself into theirs lives. The girl that found out he was a werewolf and convinced him that he wasn’t a monster. The girl that would help pull pranks on Snape with him and the boys. The girl that stood up for him when Lucius would say nasty words to him. The girl that had tried to save every single life that she could just because she wanted to. The girl that he had wanted to marry since he was 15.

She kissed him on the cheek with a soft smile. “I’ll see you Moony. But if I don’t-“

He shakes his head “Don’t say that dove.” he says sternly.

Lucy smiles softly “But if I don’t see you again Remus, just know that you’re my best friend. And that I love you more than the moon and stars. I love you more than I love anything else, ever. You are my best friend, my soulmate, my rock. You’re my Moony, rem. I’m doing this for you Remus. And I’m doing it for the boys and Lily and Marlene and Dorcas. I’m doing it for all of you. Ok, so just know, if I don’t see you again-“ she takes a deep breathe, “please just know that I’m in love with you, I always have been” she laughs lightly with tears brimming her eyes. “I am madly and deeply in love with you Remus Lupin and I have been since I was sixteen. Hell even before that, I just didn’t realize. That’s besides the point but- just know that I’m marrying you after this. After we make everything better. We are going to finally get our happily ever after Rem, I promise you. I’m all for you moony.” she smiles as a tear rolls down her cheek.

Remus’s mouth opens and closes as he tries to find the words to respond.

She kisses him on the lips. And for the first time, everything feels right. Everything seems to fall in place. He thinks this is what heaven feels like and if it isn’t then he wants to be wherever he’ll feel like this again.

She pulls away and smiles at him “I love you moony.”

“Monroe!” she looks behind her as someone calls her name. She looks back at him “I’ll see you soon love.” she smiles at him and runs off to the student that was calling her name. Remus just stood there, dumbfounded. She loved him, she really loved him.

And he didn’t even say it back. He fights himself in his mind and doesn’t even realize the time that has passed since he’s been in his head. All the damage that has been done since Lucy told him that she loved him.

He is fighting off death eaters when he sees her in his peripheral, he lets the other wizards fighting them take control and watches her fight 4 death eaters alone as he runs over. And you can just tell she’s in her element, she’s meant to be doing this. Fighting off the bad guys to help protect everyone else. She’s being the hero she was born to be.

“Lucy!” she looks over at him quickly and smiles as she stops a curse that was coming to her effortlessly.

She smiles big “Moony!“ she looks back at the death eaters as he now helps her fight them off.

Remus stops for a second as he looks at her, he keeps actively fighting them off. “Dove I need to tell you something!” he yells as he throws a curse.

“Is this really the best time Rem?!” she yells as she dodged a spell.

“No time better than the present I guess! Anyways- I just want to say, I love you too!”

Lucy’s eyes widen as she kills off the last death eater they were fighting. She takes a big breathe of relief and looks at him “What did you say?”, knowing damn well she head exactly what he said.

Remus breathes heavily, “I love you Monroe. So so much. And I want to marry you when this is all over. Lucy, I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen and I’m so sorry I never told you that, and I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier. I was just surprised that my best friend could love me the same way I love her. I-“

Lucy’s eyes widen in horror as she looks behind Remus. And it’s almost as if it happens in slow motion. Lucy moves quickly and pushes Remus out of the way and as he turns around he sees Lucius, out of all people, heading towards them with his wand up. And before he can even act he throws the most unforgivable curse and watches as the dreaded streak of green light soars to the love of his life and hits her right in the chest.

He watches as the love of his life falls to the ground, the life leaving her eyes as she goes down. He looks up at Lucius and gets his wand up, but he was too late. Lucius threw another unforgivable curse and he lets it fly towards him. He watches it fly towards his chest and hit him. He still feels as he falls alongside Lucy. He doesn’t feel as his body hits the ground. But he knows he’s dead. That it’s over.

That he didn’t win the war for his mates. For his future wife. His future kids. For harry. For James and Sirius, for the girls. For his family and friends he has made along the way.

He didn’t survive it. He didn’t survive to marry his best friend. He didn’t survive to watch his best mate’s son finally defeat Voldemort.

But she didn’t either. Lucy died before him and she watched it happen. He watched her die.

And he thinks to himself that that must be the thing he fears the most. The thing that would come out of the chest if he were still teaching Harry about Boggarts. His future wife dead on the ground.

Harry walks into the great hall after everything seems to calm a bit. And looks around at all the people that didn’t survive. But he stops in his tracks when he sees Lucy. The woman that was like his aunt. Tears spring to his eyes when he sees Remus laying on the ground right next to her. The man that had been a father figure to him. The man that he would ask to be the godfather to his children. Harry falls to his knees at Lucy’s side and takes her hand into his, his head falls to her chest as he slowly begins to sob. The reality of the war being over finally falling upon his shoulders.

Mcgonagall walks over to Harry and bends down to put her arm around Harrys shoulders gently. She pulls him away from Lucy slowly and takes him into her arms. She holds him as he cries. But he doesn’t feel the tears that hit his head as they fall from her eyes as she looks down at them.

She’s thankful to know that they’re all together and that they will love each other more now than ever. She’s thankful that she now knows they can peacefully pull pranks and be the kids that they deserved to be.

“Goodbye, almost lovers.” she whispers as she cries for them. For James and Lily, for Sirius. Thankful that they’re all finally together. But she wonders if Remus knew she found the wedding ring he has been keeping in his pocket since he was 18?

[thaleleah]

awe yeah your mom was vulnerable and stepshit took advantage of that 😭 dw tal, your person will come at the right time 🩷

ikrrr his dick needs to be snipped 😂 man is almost 80 years old, it's nastyyy

my stepmom is a literal child, she actually throws tantrums it's actually so fucking embarrassing. a literal slipper 😂 now i'm worried cause are you gonna hit your 2 year old like that if he acts up or doesn't listen to you? LOL tal ilyyy for not liking my dad either cause he doesn't deserve it! too little too late

omg you write for avatar too? 👀 look at you go girl! what's the avatar fandom like? it seems like it's chill and drama free. the reason i starting watching avatar was because of jack 😂 i'm a huge scream fan so i needed to see what else this man has been in and was so surprised he was in avatar 2, i actually didn't recognize him because of the hair but he still looked so fine! i need to rewatch avatar 1 and 2 because i actually really enjoyed it! and the cgi is amazinggg (much better than marvel) - and yes ghostface is so fucking hot, especially in the new one, i think cause it was more serious and the mask was like decayed. ughh i have a predator/prey kink too it's just so so hot! getting chased and hunted by those two was soooo ughhh! can you tell i only have a thing for villains? the heros barely capture my heart 😂 look and you and both simping for tom and jack; we have amazing taste in men 🩷

i'm so glad you got some writing done and it didn't feel forced, never force yourself, tal 🥰 you got this babe 🩷

🍯🐝

Babes, the way I tried to respond to your ask TWICE with a rant about how my stepdad must want me to hit him with my car because of how he treated my mom this weekend on her birthday weekend, and Tumblr closed out on me both times without saving my long af rant. SOOOOO maybe that's the universe trying to tell me to let that shit go. Which, like, okay. But . . . OOOOO THAT SHIT MADE ME SO MAD. So, anyway - thanks for listening to me tell you about a rant I would have made you read had Tumblr not told me no twice lmaooo

I feel so sorry for the two year old. Hopefully your stepmom will refrain from being a vile evil bitch to him. At least I hope. And yes, nothing your dad does could ever make me like him. Fuck that man lol

I doooooo write for Avatar! Avatar is the only fandom that I've consistently been in for nearly my whole life and I can't ever see it going away. I have such huge respect for James Cameron cause the world that he's created is just so amazing and beautiful and the detail and meaning of it all has me in constant awe. I could literally watch the movies over and over again and never get tired of them. December 2025 can't come soon enough for A3, I'm practically vibratingggggg. The fandom is def not chill and drama free though, especially on the smuttier side. It's actually been super toxic recently which is really disappointing cause I feel like Avatar is one of the fandoms that should be the least problematic but...here we are. My mutuals get tons of anon hate messages daily and sometimes there's even drama between accounts. Thankfully, I haven't had to deal with as much bullshit as they have since I'm a smaller blog, but I have gotten my fair share too. I know it really doesn't matter what fandom you're in, all fandoms have haters and most writers or artists get nasty messages, but it still sucks. All my mutuals are great though and they remind me of why I started being active in the fandom in the first place when things get a little too rough. Some people write some good Spider fics since you're a Jack Champion fan 👀

Love youuuuu 🥰

[radhew]

So, random thought…I talk too much.

Not in the sense that I’m not saying anything. Sometimes people can talk in circles without really adding anything to the conversation. I think I’m definitely adding things when I go on a whole rant. Just…an excessive amount of things. It’s kind of just how my brain works; I like being thorough.

I don’t really think this is a big deal, for the most part. I’m thankfully pretty good at telling when someone’s waiting for me to shut up, and I can adjust accordingly. Sometimes a person’s genuinely interested in what I’m saying, and that’s wonderful. However, it all starts spiraling out of control when I can’t see the reactions of the person I’m speaking to.

For example…making public posts. Fun fact: I make a lot of video documentaries. Y’know, the thing that’s basically a huge public post in verbal form, where length becomes crucial.

As I get back into the swing of making videos, I’m suddenly remembering that I’m REALLY bad at the whole pacing thing, and this is why. Like, I’m sure pacing sucks for everyone, and it’s really something you have to adjust for on a case-by-case basis, but my first instinct is always “This is far too brief! There are super important details missing!” There’s always the possibility I’m right on occasion, and that 40 minute video just really needed that extra bit where I’m talking about poster lamination oddities or whatever, but…odds are that I’m probably just talking too much again.

The worst part is that there’s almost always a justification for it. I’ll see a comment that says “I can’t believe they completely glossed over tidbit x”, and I have to refrain from responding “No no no, I didn’t! It was in the original script, around the 3 hour mark!!”

I really do think pacing is an art by itself. I adore words, and the ones I want to share are a reflection of the things that matter to me. But to properly pace and summarize my words, I have to know what things matter to everyone else. That’s the only way I can figure out which of my words are the ones that will mean something to them.

I think pacing is gonna be a big thing I focus on going forward. Less overly long intros, and less time spent getting to each main point. Getting into the meat of the topic shortly after starting the video still feels super wrong, but I think it’s worth learning how to work around that feeling.

(And apparently I’ll just cope with that by making long, useless tumblr posts lol)

[theeeveetamer]

After reading a bunch of Leokumi and then going back to the canon of the game, lowkey I kind of want to just improve on the world building. I'm lowkey tempted to go through all the canon material and then build on it better.

Like one of the things that I noticed was that Leokumi has to deal with a lot of politics since they're trying to make peace between their nations but at least for me I find it hard to write that if there's not enough world building?

Idk I feel like if we all had a lot more lore/story to work with, we'd get more indepth plots and stories. Idk if anyone would read it though besides me or if there's even anywhere good to post it. Lowkey was inspired cause I saw that one person on here rewriting the dialogue for Fates and like omg what an improvement.

Anyways I feel like your one of the people still around in this ship that might care, thank you for listening to my ramblings

-N

Hey! No problem, I love asks!

Okay, I'm gonna talk about two things here real quick, commentary on Fates' worldbuilding in general, and then my opinion on your worldbuilding project:

See, for me the worldbuilding of Fates is fine. Maybe that's just my kneejerk reaction to nearly a decade of people criticizing the game in wildly bad faith ways (not that I'm accusing you of that, I'm not, but I'm sure you can think of examples of what I mean. The "Doesn't have a continent name? 0/10 unplayable trash" types of criticisms)

Worldbuilding details can be important, but the most important part, the goal of worldbuilding, is to create an interesting setting and dynamic universe for the characters to inhabit. All of the detail in the world won't save a boring world, and world can be extremely engaging without necessarily having a ton of excess details. I think Fates has the "interesting world" aspect in spades, but it's just not as explicitly detailed as some would like.

Each nation has its own character and problems and we know how they interact and where they stand with each other, which is pretty ripe for building interesting conflict. There's a lot you can glean from knowing Nohr is an imperialist nation with few resources, and from seeing the dark skies and poisonous swamps and lightning flashing and people literally living underground... but knowing the name of the continent is fluff that doesn't tell you much of anything, in reality (and I could write up a whole rant about the stupid continent name criticism but I'll refrain unless someone wants to hear it)

In some ways, I think that lack of explicit detail makes it more fun to play with in a transformative sense, because it gives you a lot of freedom in writing

To use your example, how would one achieve peace between Nohr and Hoshido? Well, Nohr clearly envies Hoshido's land for its ability to produce food. Could you improve relations by setting up new trade routes? Lowering tariffs on Hoshidan goods? Working out a deal to make Hoshidan food products cheaper to buy in Nohr somehow? Does Hoshido have more advanced farming techniques, and could those be used in Nohr to increase their crop yields? Is banditry preventing Hoshidan merchants from trading in Nohr (actually you don't even have to make that up, we know that happens because that's how Oboro's parents died)? Could you do a combination of those solutions? All of these are issues that would need to be solved through politics and cooperation. Who is going to scout the trade routes, keep the caravans safe, build the bridges across the canyon, teach the Nohrians the farming techniques, etc.? All things that would be decided by the political leaders. The game doesn't give you specifics, but it gives you a starting point. So you could choose whichever option you think would be best for the story you're trying to tell

So all this to say that I think your worldbuilding project would be really interesting! This game allows a lot of room for that kind of speculation, and I'm sure there's people out there who would be interested in it. If nothing else, it would definitely be your own unique take on the game

My only advice (well, for now, since I don't know the details of what aspects of the worldbuilding you want to improve) is to know where to put the detail. A very detailed background element might be interesting, but if it has no bearing on anything then it's just pointless fluff. E.g. knowing the name of Xander's great great great grandfather wouldn't really impact anything... but knowing the exact number of siblings he killed in the Concubine Wars might be extremely helpful in fleshing out his backstory as well as the story of Nohr as a whole.

As for where to post it, I believe Ao3 would allow that kind of content? It's primarily a fic website, but actually anything fannish is within their ToS to post so long as it's "non-ephemeral" (AKA not stuff like journal entries or blog posts), non-commercialized (you aren't making money off of it), and not infringing upon copyright.

[catxsnow]

DAMIAN WAYNE FLUFF ALPHABET

A/N: It was pointed out that this got deleted so here it is again! Damian is 18+

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Damian doesn't focus on the physical attributes of you, so he finds your personality the most attractive. If you can keep up with his wit then he knows that you're a keeper. However, he does find himself getting lost in your eyes quite often so he would have to say that he loves those the most.  B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

I'm gonna have to say no. Damian loves you and he doesn't believe that he needs kids to keep loving you. Maybe when the two of you are way older, but he doesn't see having kids for a very long time. He would be open to adoption when you guys are too old for having your own kids. C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Damian hated cuddling with you at first. He ran warm enough as it was and to have another body under the blankets? He was sweating. Once he got used to it, Damian liked when you laid on his chest and he could wrap his arms around you.  D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Either ridiculously mundane or over the top extravagant there is no in between.

One time Damian took you across the world just to go hike and buy local delicacy. Another time he considered the grilled cheese sandwich Alfred made for you both a date. It really depends on what kind of occasion it is.  E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world...))

Damian says 'habibi, ya nour el ein' which means 'you're the light of my eye' in Arabic. F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

It took Damian a long time to realize that he was in love. It's not easy for him to love someone after the way he was raised to opening up to you was a side that he didn't know he had.

He realized it one night when you were tending to his wounds as being Robin. You worked silently as you always did. Damian realized that if there was anyone he wished to stitch him up day in day out it was you. He broke that silence with an 'I love you' and you had nearly fucked up his wound even more with shock. G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Damian is gentle but he gets violent when he had nightmares. He never means to hurt you and you know that, but he always feels terrible when he sees that he left you with a bruise because of his rash actions while in his sleep. You never blame him for his nightmares, he's gone through so much as it is. H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Damian doesn't like to hold hands, especially in public. The only time that he will willing grab onto you hand is if he can tell that you're nervous about something. Otherwise, just standing next to you is enough. I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

He didn't like you. Then again, he never liked anyone at first. J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Damian gets jealous for reason you never expect. He gets jealous of his brothers and when you spend time with any of them. He gets when Alfred the cat sits on you rather than him. He only got jealous at another man once and it didn't end well at all. He was all over the papers and Bruce nearly had a fit when he tried to fix what happened. K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

You did. He was being an asshole and wouldn't shut up about something so you decided to make him quit talking in a different kind of way. Damian didn't complain about it though. L = Love (Who says 'I love you' first?)

He did. You felt it first, but you never said anything until he felt comfortable enough to realize that he loved you too. M = Memory (What's their favourite memory together?)

His favorite memory was when he was trying to teach you to draw. Damian held the utmost patience for you and he genuinely enjoyed spending that time with you. You spent the whole day practicing and looking for his approval. He loved everything you drew simply because it came from you. He still has your drawings hanging up. N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Yes. Without question he'll buy you everything that you could ever dream of. Being the heir to the throne of the League of Assassins and son of Bruce Wayne he got a lot of items that he didn't even need. He loves to spoil you with things. O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Red. As calm and as patient as you were, you had a fiery side when it came to Damian being a brat. When he saw anything red, he always thought about the times that you called him out. P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Beloved (as every Damian fanfic has ever had) Habibti/Habibi (my love), Ameli (my hope) Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Damian is surrounded by tech all day. So when he takes to the time to read a good book, he's in his happy place. He's read all the great historic literature and has tried more modern books but didn't like them as much. R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Damian likes to draw on rainy days. He's got a great talent for it and doesn't get enough time to practice it. You'll be laying on his bed while he draws and the rain patters against the window. When you get lonely, you'll stare until he notices and then pout until he joins you in his bed. The half a drawing left no longer matter, he just wishes to hold you. S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Damian cheers himself up by training. He'll spend hours working out and training like he did back in the League. When he's finally wore himself out, he'll find you and pass out in your arms. That's all he needs.

When it comes to cheering you up, Damian became a great listener. He refrains from making snooty comments about the people that you are ranting about and tried to give a level headed solution to your problem. However, he's always ready to go petrify anyone that has made you upset. T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

Damian's got a well-rounded knowledge about everything. He could talk to you about every war that's ever happened or how the earth works. When he's in a talkative mood, he loves to spill facts about everything that he knows. It's not a way of him being cocky, he's just genuinely excited to tell you things. U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Damian doesn't relax. But when he does, its when he's injured or forced to stay home. You'll baby him for the night and even though he seems mad about it, he enjoys it (only when it's from you, not anyone else). He'll get Alfred to bake you guys cookies and settle in for a movie of his picking. V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

Damian's proud of everything he does. He's a show off particularly with his athleticism. He doesn't have one specific thing that he likes to show off, except maybe his art. W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

Damian doesn't. X = Xylophone (What's their song?)

Bloodflood by alt-j Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Nope. Damian doesn't see the need for you two to get married. He doesn't want some fancy wedding just to show off your love. As long as you know how much he loves you, then that's all that he cares about. If he were to get married, it would be something extremely lowkey. Your immediate family and his, that's its. No supers, no teams, nothing. Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

Damian was ready to adopt a whole herd of cows do you really think that he's going to settle on just one more pet? No, he's gonna get every single helpless animal that he can.

[joshuaalbert]

very late but. wesley :]

favorite thing about them 

as will be a constant refrain throughout this post I have said this before but I have an overactive older sibling instinct so the most important thing here is that he is a little guy doing his best. in terms of actual traits, ik some people find him bratty but that’s always confused me bc like over and over again he goes out of his way to help people. like the whole b plot of icarus agenda stands out as being real endearing and yeah it’s goody two shoes characterization whatever but it is my god given right to appreciate some kindness in a character. it’s a harsh world yknow? but conversely i also like when he’s a bitch bc i think it’s funny.

i just. also. this requires giving credit to r*n m**re whose heart i would eat in the marketplace etc etc but the first duty is so fucking episode and the progression to journey’s end conceptually is really fascinating. execution of journey’s end? needs improvement. but the idea is SO. it’s so. like yes there are really interesting undertones to wesley’s character present in seasons 1-4 but i think a lot of them are far more meaningful when you return to them after the late season episodes. like. there’s a reason i think about the first duty-lower decks-journey’s end arc all the fucking time.

hang on this got long as shit so im gonna hit this with a read more before we continue on

least favorite thing about them

from a writing perspective they fucked up by not letting him make any significant mistakes pre first duty which is part of why first duty is so good. like that’s just not...how making a character works. i personally think it would’ve been good to have him fail the psych test the first time because there would be a lot to work with there but in s1 that just wasn’t the show they were making. from like a personality perspective. i mean i cant blame him for being the most repressed bitch alive in several key ways but please go to therapy.

brOTP

ok i gotta use this opportunity to get this off my chest (again. because i think this was in my post first duty rant somewhere on my other blog that i gotta find again) but like it’s so weird when the show tries to convince us he has meaningful friendships with kids his own age on the enterprise because like. he definitely doesn’t. his friends each show up for like one episode either for a plot point or literally just to prove to his mom or whoever that he has friends but he spends all his free time either alone or with the senior officers. he does not have friends his own age and i think that very much plays into his dynamic with the squadron later. that said i do think his dynamic with riker is fun and i also love writing his friendship with jaxa now that i’ve nailed down a vibe that was kind of eluding me lmao.

OTP

#cralbertgang but like. do i trust anyone else with it? outside of the little universe i have constructed? unsure. i just know that i watched first duty and was like hey man it’s kinda gay to forget your sweater on a ski trip with the kid whose entire civilian wardrobe is weird sweaters and then to keep it for a month after and while that is by no means the point of the episode, it was an interesting little side thing to ponder. in canon i don’t think it would have been a mutual thing but it’s interesting to explore out of canon. it’s also. like. as stated above none of wesley’s earlier friendships are that convincing so it’s wild that they did actually successfully imply this friendship with like four lines let alone set up the potential for anything else. 

nOTP

i mean. wesley x literally any of the adult main characters but i feel like the one ive run into the most is wesley x riker which is like an incredible misreading of their dynamic to me and also like. even if it’s after wesley turns 18 it implies that riker was Waiting For Him To Turn 18 which is. uh. uhhh. don’t like that! and like ik it’s not 1:1 writing a fic about something equals glorification of that thing, i understand that sometimes people want to explore a dynamic Because there’s something wrong with it that they want to examine, but a lot of times with this specifically im like oh you wanted to ship two white guys and picard was too bald for you.

random headcanon

man i gotta stop posting every thought i have the moment it comes into my head bc now im like uhh what haven’t i already said. ive already said that half his classmates definitely think he’s dead post journey’s end. i think he likes the idea of marriage because he only got to see it very briefly with his own parents but this is another concept that’s idealized to him, and whether or not he ever manages it himself is up to your personal perception of postcanon. i think he’s bad at poker because he has not accepted his queerness but the correlation there is just that that happened to younger me. i think he talks in his sleep. 

unpopular opinion

yeah like both of us have said he is not a funny gen z meme kid. and like a certain percentage of content for any character is gonna be. incorrect quotes style content? of like VERY loose very exaggerated characterization but i feel like for him that’s kind of all you get. admittedly i don’t check tags and shit that often im kind of just vibing but it doesn’t seem like there’s a lot of engagement with the actual character. this isn’t really an unpopular opinion ive just kind of gone off the rails. whatever.

OH wait okay i thought of something but but a bunch of the youtube comments for the nemesis deleted scene are about how like it wasn’t canon compliant that he would come back for the wedding or be back in starfleet temporarily or whatever and i have beef with that bc im like. dude maybe he just missed his friends and family and wanted to hang out with them for a while. let him chill.

song i associate with them

this is really just me consolidating every post i’ve ever made about him huh. but like kiss off by violent femmes IS the post first duty-pre journey’s end wesley song to me. just like. everything adding up over time until you’re miserable and it feels like the universe is against you and you start lashing out as a result. like it’s a depressing association but i heard it for the first time in years like a month ago and was like holy shit. wesley song.

favorite picture of them

i have a fondness for top 1 photo of wesley crusher that could also be a photo of gordie lachance

[kinngxali]

Hey! could I have headcanons of nagito, hajime and fuyuhiko as older brothers and one day their sibling goes missing to play with their friends but doesnt tell anyone but they come back unharmed and their brothers were worried

i love this sm! thank you for the lovely request anon <3

i’m not good with headcanons, so i will refrain from doing them for now.

sorry if this annoys you!

Y/n: your name

F/n: friends name

•~•~•~•~•~~•~•~•~•

Nagito, Hajime & Fuyuhiko looking for their sibling!reader

warnings: slight swearing

.

.

.

Nagito ~

“Hey, Ko!”

Nagito turned around when he heard your voice call out his name, smiling at you. “Yes, Y/n? How can I help you?” You chuckled slightly, shaking your head. You were used to him being quite formal with you, and while it did annoy you at times, he was still your brother and you love him.

“Well i was going to-” You were interrupted by your friend, F/n, swinging an arm around your shoulder with a grin. “Cmon! We gotta go school!” You stood there for a second, debating if you should ask Nagito for a lift instead of taking the bus. “Would you like a ride?” Nagito asked, almost as if he was reading your mind.

“No, we’re okay!” F/n said, before dragging you away when you were about to give your brother a goodbye hug. “Have fun at school!” You heard him shout as you ran to meet with the rest of your friends, before going to the bus.

Nagito noticed that you were giggling, but of course he would never suspect you of doing anything. He was happy if you were happy.

Just as you was about to get off the bus, one of your friends pulled you back into your seat, making you let out a small yelp. “Guys, we gotta get off or we are gonna miss school!” F/n laughed and rolled their eyes, grinning cheekily. “We aren’t going to school, silly.”

“B-but-!?” They brought a finger to your lips and winked, making you blush from embarrassment. Your other friend stood up and laughed loudly. “We’re going shopping!”

“With what money?” You spat out, making F/n shake their head. “Togami-chan’s money, what else?” Togami-chan, Byakuya Togami’s adopted sister (even though they act more like coworkers) stared at you intensely.

“Oh, boy. I have no idea why I’m hanging out with you fools. And why are we on this dirty bus? I did not agree to thi-”

“We love you too Togami-chan!”

—————

5:30pm. You should’ve returned from school an hour ago.

Since he always gets home later than you, you would usually call him or even text him to let him know you were home.

Nagito put down his phone with a sigh, he wasn’t the type of person to worry. It was extremely rare for him, but this time- something felt... off.

Had you ran away? No, you were so cheerful this morning.

He wouldn’t be surprised if you did though, he doesn’t deserve to talk to you.

Maybe you had gone out to a friends house. He could call F/n’s mom?

No, trash like him shouldn’t worry that nice woman with his problems.

“Nagito, you’re spacing out again.” Chiaki waved a hand in front of his face, making Hajime mumble something along the lines of ‘you’re one to talk’ under his breath.

There was no point lying this time, if something did happen to you, he was sure his classmates could help.

“H-hey N-nagito?” He turned his head to Mikan and gave her a warm smile. “What is it?”

“W-well, I don’t know i-if you know.. but I saw Y/n on the bus with their friends earlier, i-it was way past their stop as well..”

Nagito’s mind suddenly went blank.

“No they didn’t tell me. But I doubt they’d tell trash like me their business anyway...”

“We should go look for them,” Hajime stood up abruptly, Chiaki following not long after. “They could be in trouble.”

“I have hope that they’ll be oka-”

Chiaki pulled him up and Mikan bowed and walked away quickly, going back to her original seat. “But we don’t know for sure.”

8:17pm.

“Did you find anything?” Akane shook her head regretfully, making the whole class groan.

“Maybe we should call the police..” Sonia said, glancing at Nagito, who hadn’t stopped looking around. “I don’t know.... Nagito wouldn’t want them to interfere.” Chiaki sighed, looking at her feet.

“Can you guys hear that?” Ibuki suddenly said, surprising everyone since she was being quiet this whole time. “Hear what?” Hajime said, making Nagito run over to them, a desperate look in his eyes. “People laughing.... this way!” Ibuki suddenly took off, Nagito following close behind her. As they were racing ahead of the whole class, Nagito saw a familiar shadow in the distance.

“Y/n.”

Ibuki stood still and told everyone to back down as Nagito watched you playing on the swings with your friends, laughing.

This makes sense. You had been very stressed recently.

Nagito suddenly clutched his head and laughed loudly, almost as if he was having a psychotic breakdown.

That wasn’t the case though, he was simply laughing at how foolish he had been for making a big deal out of something so minor. He even got his whole class to help.

You heard the laughing and stopped smiling, looking over to the road to see Nagito laughing hysterically. You ran over to him and slowed down as you got closer, feeling guilty.

“N-nagito?”

He looked up at you with a blank face. “I’m sorry that trash like me disturbed your time with your friends, Y/n.” You leant down and smiled at him. “No, I’m sorry for not telling you.”

Hajime ~

“How’ve your exams been lately?” Your dad asked from across the table, looking at you. In all honesty, your grades had dropped significantly. Hajime coughed from next to you, earning everyone’s attention. “They’ve been good. Me and Y/n haven’t had any problems with them.” His blatant lie seemed to have slipped past your parents, making you glance to him and send him a small smile, thanking him.

After dinner, you had both gone to your room, and Hajime flopped on his bed. You fell next to him, both of you staring at the ceiling. “So... I saw you talking to Nagito and Chiaki earlier at school~”

“S-shut up! You didn’t see anything.”

A small laugh escaped your lips.

—————

You had snuck out of school to meet up with your friends. It was hard trying to avoid Hajime, but Nagito seemed to be a great distraction as he bombarded him with his hope rant.

When you was about to walk out of the school, you noticed your classmate, Kokichi, sitting on the steps outside. “Nishishi~ took you long enough Y/n!”

Your friendly smile quickly turned into a frown as you tilted your head in confusion. “I’m sorry, you’re coming too?”

“Duh! Why else would I wait for you?” You didn’t know if that was a lie or not, but went along with it either way.

You both walked to the riverbank in a peaceful silence, which was surprising since you never really got to see Kokichi worn out.

“Hey guys!” F/n greeted you both as they stood with Rantaro. “Rantaro? Wait- how do you all know each other?” You exclaimed, “Except for Rantaro and Kokichi knowing each other... since we are in the same class~”

“Instagram.” They all said in unison as they looked over the bridge and into the water.

The sunset was beautiful.

Since the barrier was quite low and wide enough to sit on, with the help of Rantaro, you sat on it, your legs dangling over the edge, the rest of your friends did the same thing, except F/n, who leant on their elbows as they put their hands under their chin.

You all sat like that for hours, and Kokichi even fell asleep on you.

You didn’t realise how late it had gotten until Rantaro had a call from his sisters, and said he had to go home.

6pm.

They all went one by one, with you having to wake Kokichi up at 7pm, since his phone kept ringing.

You sat on there alone, listening to music as you stared at the river underneath you. This was amazing. “Y/n?” You heard from behind you, making you turn and take out your earphones.

“I’ve been looking for you for hours!” He said exhaustedly, frowning as he leant on the barrier just like F/n did before. “I-I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want your ‘sorry’.”

“...”

“Do you even know what time it is?”

“No...”

“10 o’clock.”

“O-oh, I didn’t mean to worry you Hajime..”

He sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I thought you had gone missing... or worse.” You went silent.

Hajime was always protective of you, and you slightly envied him. He was only 3 years older, but he was able to do so much.

“I just... I needed a break. This was nice.”

He smiled at you, calming down. “So this is where you went, huh?” He mumbled, looking at the river.

You yawned and stretched your arms, making Hajime chuckle and pull you off the barrier. “Can I have a piggyback ride home?” You asked, giving him puppy dog eyes. “Whatever.”

He leaned down and you jumped on his back, grinning as you leant down and fell asleep.

Fuyuhiko ~

You were walking to Hope’s Peak with Peko and Fuyuhiko, excitedly showing them your new designs.

“Peko!! What do you think?” You showed her the designs for your clothing brand and she smiled, nodding approvingly. “I think they’re lovely, Y/n!” You grinned and thanked her, before running over to Fuyuhiko. “Hey Fuyu~!” He grumbled and turned around, slowing his pace when he realised he was walking in front of you and Peko. “Do you like it?” He nodded and looked forward again, his eyebrows furrowed. “It looks cool.” You nodded and went back to Peko.

“Any plans soon, Y/n? I’m still up for teaching you some more self defence, if you don’t mind.” Peko asked you, a warm smile on her face. Peko never really smiled at other people, so everyone was always baffled when they saw how gentle she was when she spoke to you, almost like a mom.

As she patiently waited for your response, you tapped your chin. You had made plans to go out shopping with F/n and a couple others today, but you were planning to sneak out of school to do it. “I can do tomorrow, if you’re free?” You replied, earning a nod from her. “You gonna join, Fuyu?” You shouted, making him crane his neck to look at you. “I learned everything when I was younger. You’re just too damn lazy and now you have to do the classes for an extra year.”

You rolled your eyes at his lecture, sticking your tongue out at him.

—————

You ran down the stairs, going past many people you knew. Hopefully no one would strike up a conversation.

“Y/nnnnn!” You sighed as Kaede gave you a big hug, and you hugged her back, waving to Shuichi - who was standing next to her. “Are you planning on skipping class, Y/n?” Shuichi teased as you froze. “Maybe. But if Fuyu or Peko ask anything, you didn’t see me, okay?” They both nodded. “Be safe though, we wouldn’t want to attend a funeral anytime soon.” Kaede giggled, and you let out an uncomfortable laugh.

How did Kaede out of all people, make such a dark joke?

You brushed it off and ran past them into an empty classroom, before opening the window and slipping out - slipping as your feet made contact with the grass.

It wasn’t a graceful landing, but you brushed off your skirt and went to the school gate, to see F/n and a couple others standing there. “Hey! You got the money?” You nodded and gave them ¥150,000 and they thanked you and split it with everyone.

On your way to the bus station, you couldn’t help but think about how worried Fuyu would be, but you really didn’t want a bodyguard following you around while you was with your friends.

5:52PM.

Fuyuhiko growled and slammed his phone down. Where were you? Why wasn’t you answering his calls? Why did you sneak out of school?

Hundreds of questions raced around in his mind and he never had an answer to a single one.

“Master, I’m sure that they are fine-”

Fuyuhiko stood up,breathing heavily. “They could be dead for all we fucking know!” Peko stayed silent, he was right.

Another hour passed, then two hours... everyone was getting frustrated.

Fuyuhiko sat down on a bench and slammed his hand against it in anger. “Master, listen to me.” He looked up at Peko, not bothering to say anything.

“If she snuck out of school on purpose, she’s probably hanging out with her friends. She’s not that irresponsible.”

“She’s right.” You said, walking up to them. “I don’t need a bodyguard everywhere I go, I’m capable of looking after myself.”

“Y/n-” You shook your head, putting a hand up. “Wait, hear me out. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to worry you but I also wanted to prove I can look after myself.”

He didn’t say anything. He just brought you into a tight hug, almost crushing your insides. “Fu-Fuyu, ca-n’t brea-!” He let go, holding on to your shoulders, a stern look in his eyes. “If you don’t want a bodyguard, then I’ll go with you.”

“But that means you’re technically a bodyguard!” You complained, and he walked away, smirking. “Don’t care.”

[gaymershigh]

Hello! I saw your askbox and open and read your rules and you are right, it's not often I see Male×Male reader inserts in the TWST fandom. So, I'd thought I'd request some to help the cause! If I may, can I request some headcannons of dorm leaders of TWST×Male!Reader who is in their dorm and has been noticeably stressed in their schoolwork and one night is seen super stressed out and the dorm leader's fellow students pull the reader aside and hand the reader over to the dorm leader because the reader refuse to listen to anyone else?

Of course you may! Tbh, this is such a nice request, I enjoy doing multiple characters, but it's so difficult for me to write for Azul and Vil in this hc for some reason??

REMINDER: Don't overwork yourself just because you don't think it's enough! The fact that you're trying is already amazing! Please remember to take care of your health because you matter! 💜

Triggers: None!

Dorm Leaders dealing with a stressed Male!Reader

Ever since Riddle got a text from Trey and its about his boyfriend doing his schoolwork on ungodly hours he was worried, very worried.

He wants to come to you and make a 2 hour speech about how you shouldn't overwork yourself but he barely has anytime as well, he's a very busy man as well.

So he decided to order your friends, Ace and Deuce to tell you to not overwork yourself. Hell, he even prepared a script for them.

Of course, it didn't work. It was so obvious it was from a script because Deuce sounds so robotic and Ace kept correcting Deuce. Your stubbornness makes it even more awkward and worse.

He ordered Trey and Cater this time, with a whole new script too.

They did a good job and all, but it also failed because your ass is so stubborn and Cater is pretty impatient and kept using his phone.

This only made you stressed out even more because these mofos probably dont understand how you feel.

Deuce's dense ass noticed this and told Ace about it. And that's how Ace got a big brain idea.

You were screaming, usually, the ADeuce duo usually stays at your dorm to chill while you do your work and NOT drag you to their dorm.

They shoved you to Riddle's room and what you're not expecting was your boyfriend showing a very worried face.

He immediately hugged you tightly before you could say a word. He cupped your face and caressed your cheek.

“My sweetheart, please don't overwork yourself, it's unhealthy for you. From now on, only work yourself for 2 hours max. Come now, let's drink some tea together.”

He knows that something's up when you haven't been hanging out with him for a while.

He misses his herbivore so much, he misses cuddling his boyfriend but he's too prideful to admit.

When he found out you've been doing your schoolwork 24/7 by Ruggie, his response is indecisive but on the inside he's bothered.

Since he's too lazy to move on his very comfortable position, he threatened ordered his dorm members to convince you to stop overstressing yourself.

Knowing Savanaclaw, of course they failed, there was no hope to begin with. It was a disaster. They tried but they're way too intimidating for you to even listen to their words. Thank god Ruggie was there to bail them out so it wasn't too awkward.

This made Leona very moody. Not only he cannot snuggle with you, his plan failed and he now forces himself to sleep alone in pain. Boohoo.

Ruggie can't stand this man's temper tantrums so he just snatched you away from your dorm and toss you to a sleeping Leona.

The lazy lion woke up immediately when he recognized your scent. Since he's still sleepy however, he just pulled you to his bed and hugged you close with his tail wrapped on your leg

“Hmph, you chose your schoolwork over me and had the audacity to not meet up for the entire week? You're not going anywhere this time, especially with you in my arms.”

He won't blame you to be honest. He overworks himself too and ignore your warnings multiple times. However, that doesn't mean he's not going to do anything about it.

He at least has time to spend with you but you didn't. Of course that made the octopus upset and he's not gonna five up when it comes to you.

He stalks you everytime he gets the chance. Your stressed expression really displeases him. He wants to do something about this so bad but he doesn't want to disturb his already stressed boyfriend.

Jade caught on to Azul's bizarre behavior and he cam up with an idea to surprise both of you.

“Kidnapping shrimpy? Ok!” of course Floyd would say yes, it's Floyd.

You're screaming in distress and confusion. Just a second ago you were messaging your temples because you couldn't mesmerize what Mr. Trein taught you and now you're getting kidnapped by the Leech twins, what a surprise. An unwelcome one at that.

Azul was shocked when he hears your cries as the twins dropped you off his room, still tied in ropes and leaving like nothing happened.

Azul untied you, explaining theories as to why they would do such things, but when he does got the right answer, he blushed in embarrassment. He caused this.

He placed a soft kiss and holds your hand gently.

“I apologize for causing a huge ruckus. It's just I missed you when you barely replied to my calls and texts and you kept working and that made me worried sick! I'm sorry that I sound selfish but.. Could you stay here a bit longer, please?”

Oh dear. How could you say no to that?

Ok first of all how could you even ignore him? He always keep coming to you and basically screaming at you.

Your stress may could have took the you over and may accidentally snapped at him for being too noisy.

This made him sad and left the room. BUT HEY AT LEAST YOU GOT SOME PEACE AND QUIET AM I RIGHT?

But if you think that's gonna make him upset??? You're his wonderful boyfriend! His treasure! No matter what, just seeing thinking of you makes him happy again.

This didn't last as you kept ignoring his daily chat with you and his messages and calls. This wasn't okay.

This genuinely made him stressed as well, he probably doesn't even exist to you anymore. Despite it just being 2 days if felt like forever since you talk to him or even looking at him with a smile.

Kalim wanted to spend fun times with his boyfriend like always. Not just sit there and look at him groaning at the worksheet every now and then.

He missed you so much. Even though he sees you, it just doesn't feel the same.

He got less happier as the days go by, everyone got worried sick. Even Jamil felt disturbed about it, usually he would be living the life when Kalim's quiet.

Everything's the usual today. Kalim visiting you and he's quiet again. You of course felt bad but you really need to pass this test.

But out of nowhere, you kept getting text messages from Jamil screaming to you about talking to Kalim and how pathetic he looks when sad.

When you turned around, your heart shattered to pieces. There it is, a sad Kalim in tears, curling himself on your bed to at least have your scent on him.

You stopped what you're doing and hop on tour bed and press his face against the crook of your neck, muttering sorry.

“Ahhh! I miss you so much,habibi!(my love) please don't overwork yourself and ignore me! I love you so much and seeing you date your homework then dating me hurts me! Please dont leave me! I'll be the best boyfriend ever!”

Who do you think you are, to ignore your lover's calling just for a paper of misery? How foolish.

Vil understood that your future is important to you, but do you really need to worry when you're dating the Vil Schoenheit? The beautiful, rich man who spoils you every single day?

Not only that, stress causes wrinkles and you're also ruining your sleep schedule?! Unacceptable.

He kept ranting to you about how greasy your hair and how big the bags under your eyes are.

To the point you have to lock your door to refrain him for entering and rant. You're already stressing out and there's literally no way you're going to hear about your dramatic boyfriend moan about your appearance.

He kept calling and texting you and you also ignore that. If anything you gave good morning texts or either leave him on read.

And he's not tolerating that.

His job was easier to handle than the others. He can just ask Rook to kidnap you and he would oblige and do so in an instant.

And he just did that.

Unlike the others, you know exactly what's going to happen when Rook is violently dragging you to Pomefiore. He's going to put you in Vil's room, listen to him rant for a few hours and do beauty things or whatever.

Well, have of that did happen when Rook closed Vil's door. He did rant but what your not expecting was him being very gentle and sweet.

“I knew it, you got increasingly worse. Oh well, I will refix this mess later. But for now, you should rest right beside me. No leaving no matter the circumstances, you understand, potato?”

I mean, of course you're gonna ignore him, he's just a gross, weeby loser. There's no way he can impact your life positively in any single way. If anything, he probably causes trouble to his you anyway.

He doesn't really wanna stop you, he really cherishes you and your choices even if they're not good and losing someone like you is probably gonna take years to move on to.

Poor Ortho, he needs to hear his brother rant about his boyfriend not being able to see nor play games with because he's busy working himself.

But this made Ortho worry. Not only id his brother is sad but you're risking your health to do schoowork! That's no good.

This made you confused. Ortho kept muttering about your health status to himself everytime you pass by the hallways.

And everyday, your stress levels increase and your health is deteriorating.

He needs to make you rest at all cost but he knows your stubborn. So he has to do one thing that makes your knees weak.

His very own special puppy eyes.

Ortho innocently dragged you to Idia without either of you guy's knowledge.

When Idia finds out, he immediately apologized for the inconvenience he caused and you might have to be the one to comfort him.

“I'M SERIOUSLY SO SORRY! I just really wanted to play games with you and hangout with you like usual.. Eh? You will?? REALLY!?”

At first, the fae didn't even realise you are stressing despite showing a few signals.

Until you start ignoring him. Then you got a pouty Malleus. (aw)

He doesn't understand why you're struggling with Mr. Divus' homework, it seems so easy to him, why is it so hard for you?

That made you upset and he still doesn't know why.

He never had a boyfriend like you before so of course he's not gonna understand gen z struggles. Spare him please.

Lilia gave him some tips, only for it to be tricks and make you more upset. snide mf

Seeing a sad Malleus made Sebek upset, then mad.

He asked Lilia what's wrong with his young master.

And when he found out you're replacing him with your schoolwork and then for some reason 'stressing' about it??

How rude!

Sebek kept nagging at you to stop working and pay attention to your damn boyfriend but you couldn't care less about Sebek and his shenanigans.

You only start sweating when he suddenly yanked your arm and dragged you to Diasomnia.

And what you see is a pouty Malleus playing with his little game.

When you sat next to him, he immediately wrapped you in his arms.

“My darling, I plead for you not to pressure yourself in something that only destroys you even more. What progress you have done is enough for today but as of now, you need rest. Release all your negativity away, love.”

This is literally my second work but I already feel like a failure.

-𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎

[alwida10]

The tragedy of Loki of Asgard

Or why I think the Infinity War Loki should stay dead.

TW: suicide, depression, narcissistic behavior

To understand this essay you need some basic understanding of the family dynamic in Odins family. The dynamic is one of a narcistic parent who has a golden child he projects his own awesomeness onto and a scapegoat child . The parent ensures himself the support of the golden child and makes himself the very center of attention, which is what a narcisst tribes for. The golden child longs to remain golden child and refrains from criticism of the parent. The scapegoat child strives to finally get out of the scapegoat position by pleasing the parent. To bad the child can’t do so because it gets not the blame because it did something wrong but because there must always be someone to blame. Therefore possible explanations and things the parent presented as desirable aren’t really that. Now, a golden child sooner or later gets used to blame everything on the scapegoat. It might even learn to control the scapegoat by blaming him the same way the parent did (aka the scapegoat longs for positive attention/affirmation and therefore does everything the golden child wants him to).

Now, in Thor Ragnarok Odin says ‘I love you my sons’ before he dies, placing the two of them more or less on equal positions for the first time ever. (I know there can be good arguments made, but just let’s assume it’s possition zero they start at.)

Pretty soon both end up on Sakarr, Thor in prison, Loki in the Grandmasters favors. Loki visits Thor in prison, suggesting teaming up, even though it endangers his position (the Grandmaster could hear about it, Thor would probably claim the higher position etc.) At that moment Thor doesn’t have anything to offer. Yet, he stonewalls, blaming Loki for all bad that happened. (For a much more detailed spot -on analysis please read this post where @i-dreamed-i-had-a-son even correctly predicted Loki’s death).

The whole dynamic in the prison is Thor falling back into the old family dynamic. Only that Odin is dead now, and the position of the prime narcisst is open. Now, narcissm is often correlated with abusive behavior, as written in ‘why does he do that? - inside they mind of angry and controlling men’ by Lundy Bancroft. In another post I found many of the things she describes can be observed in Thor’s actions in Thor Ragnarok.

But let’s get finally come to the elevator scene which is the heart piece of my explanation. Remember – Loki is at this point starved for any affirmation or positive reaction by his family. After Thor rejected Loki’s plan, he accepted Loki joining his plan. Thor lures Loki by claiming they should talk right before they enter the elevator. For a starving person this is huge temptation. But Loki did live with his family for eons and is certainly aware of it being a trap.

Right from his first appearance in Thor 1 (before the coronation) we learn that Loki never lowers his guard when it comes to admitting feelings. In that scene he said he loved Thor but directly glossed it over with a joke. After all what happened in Thor 1, Avengers and TDW Loki would never let himself appear weak by outright asking if Thor does still hold any positive feelings mg a for him. So he uses reverse psychology (claiming something against your own wishes, hoping the other disagrees and thereby affirms you.)

LOKI: Here's the thing. I'm probably better off staying here on Sakaar.

The problem with reverse psychology is when the other person agrees with it, it hits you right where it hurts the most.

THOR: That's exactly what I was thinking.

LOKI: ...Did you just agree with me?

THOR: This place is perfect for you. It's savage, chaotic, lawless. Brother,you're going to do GREAT here.

Thor follows up by insulting Loki and pushing him away hard. Why? Because he knows Loki has nobody else to turn to. Even after TDW Loki returned to Asgard. For one part because he’s still loyal but certainly also for the lack of alternatives. And Asgard will always include Thor. Thor knows Loki won’t be able to leave him.

LOKI: Do you truly think so little of me?

Loki is hurt, obviously and it’s very much visible on his face. To make sure no blame can be laid open him, Thor uses gaslighting.

THOR: Loki, I thought the world of you. I thought we were gonna fight side by side forever. But, at the end of the day, you're you, I'm me… I don't know, maybe there's still good in you, but let's be honest, our paths diverged a long time ago.

Loki is wounded by Thor's willingness to discard him. But he masks his feelings.

LOKI: It's probably for the best that we never see one another again.

Thor pats Loki on the shoulder, placing the obidience disk. And this action proves that the manipulation on Thor’s part was intentional. Why else would he have done it? (Everyone claiming ‘Loki betrayed Thor endless times, please read this meta). Thor knew that by pushing Loki away hard enough he would trigger a desperate act of reactive aggression. He did so to push Loki back into his place (which is beneath him, as far Thor is concerned). As soon that has happened Thor gives his little self righteous speech.

THOR: Oh brother, you're becoming predictable. I trust you, you betray me. Round and round in circles we go. See, Loki, life is about, it's about growth. It's about change.But you seem to just wanna stay the same. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you'll always be the God of Mischief, but you could be more.

Briefly summarized:

you suck, and I don’t think you’ll ever be worth my affection. If you want to try tho, here is your option.

Of course, to prove Thor wrong Loki is forced to resume his subservant position he had at the beginning of Thor 1. He can only ‘prove his worth’ by doing Thor’s bidding and supporting his plans. And that he does. He convinces kork and his crew to join him and brings them to Asgard where he receives his reward by Thor acknowledging him in a not-aggressive way. He even fulfills Thor’s plan, knowing that henceforth he will be blamed whenever someone remembers Asgard’s destruction. In Thor’s ‘coronation scene’ Loki stands at the side, behind the Valkyrie (yet, still at the right side. That surprised me, tbh. The ‘right hand of the King’ is a prestigious title and I didn’t believe TW would have allowed Loki that. But he’s still only second on Thor’s right.)

Anyway, Loki is back in the position he had in Thor 1 with a lot of added baggage and no Frigga to rant to when everything gets to bad. And then Thanos appears. Under Thanos Loki would suffer even more than under Thor (remember the Other’s ‘no barren moon..’ speach.) So basically he’s caught between two horrible fates.

Loki’s death scene itself has been criticized a lot and everyone knows the butterknive-discourse. It can only interpreted in two ways: either him being stupid or him being suicidal. Based on all written above and the fact that he already tried to commit suicide at the end of Thor 1, I can only believe the second to be true.

It has another point: Tom said Loki’s arc was finished. I was confused and unhappy about this statement, but now I am coming to piece with it. Tom loves Shakespeare, including Hamlet and Coriolanus. Those are tragedies. Tragedies are characterized by the protagonist being ruined because of a dramatic conflict that leaves him only two choices, one being death and one being worse. So perhaps this is his very own version of the tragedy of Loki of Asgard.

[codydoyleunit]

This is not gonna be the usual post on my tumblr. This is going to be an exercise of simple freedom: I feel like doing something and I just do it, despite my constant inability to choose the right words in English which often don’t fully grasp what I’m trying to say as best as my mother tongue’s ones. I’m gonna do my best though.

 Today I woke up and saw that Billie Eilish was on the cover of Vogue. As soon as I saw the pictures I was blown-away, stunned. My often tumblr-oriented kink-guided mind was responsible for the first obvious inevitable reaction: the carnal one. I’d never seen her like this nor, I think, had anybody. What a gorgeous woman. What an elegant figure. What a stunning body. The sheer beauty of her feminity just engulfed me. The poses, the clothes, the countenance are, of course, all there to build and convey those physical sentiments onto us, the public. And just from a completely layman perspective, those pictures are objectively utterly hot! Then I get reminded she’s only 19 which makes me refrain from all sexual thoughts my mind might conjure up; and also makes me so goddamn envious of her skyrocketing life. And this was when I started thinking about something else. Notice the noun I decided to describe: life. I didn’t say skyrocketing career or skyrocketing talent. I said life. That was on purpose. Which leads me to the second reaction I found myself having: the spiritual one. Or a more philosophical one, if you will.

This is a woman who’s done probably everything she’s ever set her mind to. She’s an adult because she’s so clearly driven. She’s a teenager because she’s so vividly seething with creative exciting ideas and projects. The end result is at everybody’s sight. “I live my life”, that’s what she’s saying to me. I may be wrong but that’s how I feel it. Such a simplistic statement can be disarming but is part of a broader much more relevant message. Don’t be ashamed. If you love something do it even if it touches the tenuous ominous rules of conventional society (which nobody really knows what they are). She knows these pictures are gonna draw attention from all kinds of folks including, of course, those who will not like them, who will insult her, who will vomit all their years worth of hate all over her. And guess what? She knows that, we all do. She knows there are milions of haters out there anxious to put their fingers on a keyboard. To quote another singer, she knows they’re just gonna hate hate hate. But she doesn’t even get to the point of shaking it off. She doesn’t need to. Shaking it off implies listening to them, giving them the benefit of the doubt - two things they surely don’t deserve. Therefore, she doesn’t need to shake anything off because there’s nothing worth shaking off. 

In addition to sprinkling sheer joy into our lives via her music, sharing with us her thoughts, she now is telling you and me that she just took another step forward. And whether you like it or not, it’s not her concern. Because it’s her step.

“Live my life”, “Live your life” - that’s what comes across. And yes that means embracing our darker side, our little poorly-lit yet so comfortable corner, our shrine where we talk to ourselves, where we think with ourselves, where we find peace by making it with who we are, without regard to what others think or judge. That’s our VIP spot and no one gets in without my permission. They should be so lucky. 

Yep, I have a tumblr and a whole bunch of other kink-related profiles out there. For better or worse it’s whom I am and concealing it, for the sake of others’ judgements, means not living my life. I may be private about my kinky side. I’m certainly not ashamed of it. Nor should anyone. And that’s my little rant. I don’t know if any of this made any sense or if I came across as condescending (hope not!) but at least that’s how my thoughts materialized. 

Thanks Billie Eilish.

Thanks everyone.

[t4twolfstar]

Pearl Jam songs as the marauders' story

listen here

explanations under read more

Red Mosquito - Remus is bit by Greyback

two steps ahead of him, punctures in your neck…/ Hoverin' just above your bed... (2x)/ I was bitten...must have been the devil…/ He was just paying me…/ A little visit, reminding me of his presence…

Jeremy - most of the song, Sirius

Okay so we’re going to look at the verses not the refrain for this one bc (TW su*) this song is based on an actual boy who diy died in front of his class so like no we’re not relating to that part but the “Clearly I remember/ Pickin’ on the boy/ Seemed a harmless little fuck/ But we unleashed the lion….Daddy didn't give affection, no/And the boy was something that mommy wouldn't wear”

Daughter - Sirius at home

Trans sirius in an abusive household………. “Mother reads aloud, child tries to understand it/Tries to make her proud/ The shades go down, it's in her head/ Painted room, can't deny that something's wrong/ Don’t call me daughter, not fit to”

Leash - Sirius and Remus’ toxic codependent love and then yelling at the establishment/people who say they’re too young going too deep too hard too fast

“Troubled souls unite/ We got ourselves tonight, oh/ I am fuel you are friends we got the means to make amends/ I am lost I'm no guide but I'm by your side/ I am right by your side….We will find a way we will find our place/ Drop the leash drop the leash/Get outta' my fuckin' face”

Why Go? - Sirius becoming disenchanted w his family

Trans Sirius too of course. She seems to be stronger/ But what they want/ Her to be is weak/ She could play pretend/ She could join the game, boy/ She could be another clone….don’t come visit/mother/ why go home?

Blood - Sirius’ family trying to make him into something he’s not

Spin me round/ Roll me over/ Fucking circus/ Stab it down/ One way needle/ Pulled so slowly/ Drains and spills/ Soaks the pages/ Fills their sponges/ It’s my blood/ It’s my blood

WMA - basically about all the big pureblood families that can get away w anything

“He won the lottery when he was born/ Took his mothers white breast to his tongue/ Do no wrong so clean cut/ Dirty his hands, it comes right off” (tw for song: police, implied police violence)

Do the Evolution - Sirius ranting abt/mocking his family

Admire me, admire my home/ Admire my son, he's my clone…./ I'll do what I want but irresponsibly/ It’s evolution, baby/ I’m a thief, I'm a liar/ There’s my church, I sing in the choir:/ (Hallelujah, hallelujah)

Bushleaguer - abt the aristocracy etc

This song is literally about George bush lmao but I love it abt the upper class

“Born on third, thinks he got a triple…./The aristocrat choir sings, "what's the ruckus?”/ The haves have not a clue/ The immenseness of suffering”

Mind your manners - You guessed it - Sirius rejecting his family

I've got an unfortunate feelin’/ I've been beaten down/I feel I don't believe/ And now the truth is coming out/ What they've taken is more than a vow/ They’ve taken your innocence/ And then they throw them on a burning fire/ All along they're sayin’/ Mind your manners

My father’s son - SIRIUS

I am my father's son,/ Yeah, too bad he was a psychopath and now I'm the next in line, , dear mother, yes, surely she's a work of art,…/Can I get a reprieve?/ This gene pool dark and deep…./Now father you're dead and gone and I'm finally free to be me,/ Thanks for all your dark gifts for which I've got no sympathy,/ I’m living in a walled-up place in the bounds of 5th symphony

Yellow Ledbetter - Sirius

Okay so 97% of the the lyrics are indecipherable when Eddie sings them but you can hear I don’t wanna stay

Go - Regulus to Sirius as he’s trying to leave

(Abuse tw) So sorry about this one yall …… .but yes I think this is regulus finally realizing that he shouldn’t have let things get so bad at home (Sirius blames him for not stepping in even tho he’s a child there’s nuance here etc) and he’s begging Sirius not to leave him here “Oh please don't go out on me don't go out on me now/ Never acted up before don't go on me now/ I swear I never took it for granted just thought of it now/ Suppose I abused you just passing it on….I pulled the covers over him shoulda' pulled the alarm/ Turned to my nemesis…Please don't go on me/ Don’t go on me/ Don’t go on me/ Don’t go on me/ please”

Rearviewmirror - Sirius running away

(Tw abuse) Time to emancipate/ I guess it was the beatings made me wise….Forced to endure/ What I could not forgive/ I seem to look away/ Wounds in the mirror waved/ It wasn't my surface most defiled

Can’t Keep - Sirius running away from home

I want to shake/ I want to wind out/ I want to leave/ This mind and shout/ I’ve lived/ All this life/ Like an ocean/ In disguise/ I don't live for ever/ You can't keep/ Me here

Hail, Hail - Remus and Sirius’ codependent strong love

A how I love you till the day I die...ah and beyond…/ are we going to the same place? If so, can I come?/ It’s egg rollin' thick and heavy...all the past we carry…

Release - Remus thinking about his dad

Remus’ dad is so full of guilt for his hand in remus’ transformations that he extracted himself from remus’ life. Remus laments here, “Oh, dear dad/ Can you see me now?/ I am myself/ Like you somehow” “I'll hold the pain/Release me” he’d would rather have a dad, guilt and all, here, than the self appointed absence but since you left me with the absence and grief and loss of it, at least release me from it, loosen your grip so I can move on.

Present Tense - Sirius and Remus talking probably laying in the forbidden forest assuaging one another’s beliefs of the gnarled beasts they think they are

BUGS - prob remus when he turns before the boys know

Bugs on my ceiling/ Crowded the floor/ Standing sitting kneeling…/ A few block the door/ And now the question’s:/ Do I kill them?/ Become their friend?/ Do I eat them?/ Do I join them?/ I’ll just stop now/ I’ll become naked/ And with the...I'll become one

Who you are - probably James at remus when he thinks he’s a big monster

Who are we?/ Who we are./ What’s your part? Who you are / You are who you are.

Save you - GOD THIS SONGG okay this is probably James @ Sirius when home life is bad and also Sirius @ Remus and also Remus @ Sirius it’s all of them @ all of them

Gonna save you fucker, not gonna lose you/ Feeling cocky and strong, can't let you go,/ Too important to me/ Too important to us, we'd be lost without you/ Baby, let yourself fall, I'm right below you now/ And fuck me if I say something you don't want to hear/ And fuck if you only hear what you want to hear/ Fuck me if I care, but I'm not leaving here/ You helped me when I was down, I'll help when you're down/ Why are you hitting yourself, c'mon hit me instead

Life Wasted - Sirius @ Reg re: leaving

I escaped it, a life wasted./ I’m never going back again…./ You're always saying you're too weak to be Strong./ You’re harder on yourself than just about Anyone/ Why swim the channel just to get this far?/ Halfway there, why would you turn around?

Severed Hand - Reg joins the death eaters

Big man stands behind an open door/ Said, leave your lady on the cement floor./ Got some kicks, want to take a ride?/ I said, yeah!/ Oh please understand I just need, my friend,/ A way a way a way home

Brain of J. - Reg and Sirius arguing after he joins the death eaters

The whole world will be different soon/ The whole world will be relieving/ You, you've been taught/ We’d been the same, now they got you in line/ Stand behind the stripes/ There will be order, so give it a good mind…./And by name/ The name they gave me/ The name I'm letting go

Deep - Regulus knows he’s in too deep

This is Regulus knowing he’s in too deep, Voldemort and the death eaters are such bad fucking people and he’s in too deep now (massive tw for this song for drugs and se*ual violence)

“Ponders his Maker, ponders his will/ in too deep/ can’t touch the bottom”

Pilate - Remus abt Sirius ;0)

Like Pilate I have a dog/ (Obeys listens kisses loves)/ Walks me out of town/ Still one's a crowd/ Making angels in the dirt/ Looking up looking all around

You Are - in love 🥰

Love is a tower/ Of strength to me/ I am the shoreline/ But you're the sea

Red Bar - the war begins

War, I’m crazy/ War I’m crazy I’m war the song is also a lil goofy so it’s maybe just like going crazy being so in it that it’s funny now

Porch - WARTIME EVERYONE @ THEIR LOVERS

It’s the war and everyone knows today could be their last day and tensions are running high in relationships and they love each other so much and need each other but snap at one another nonetheless

What the fuck is this world running to?/ You didn't leave a message/ At least I could have learned your voice one last time/ Daily minefield, this could be my time by you/ Would you hit me? Would you hit me?/ Hear my name, take a good look/ This could be the day/ Hold my hand, walk beside me

Thin Air - babes in love

There's a light, when my baby's in my arms,/ There’s a light, when the window shades are drawn…/ And I know she's reached my heart, in thin air.

All or None - More war time songs soz

Here's the selfless confession/ Leading me back to war/ Can we help that our destinations/ Are the ones we've been before?/ I still try to run on/ But it's all or none

Parting Ways - Lily @ James during the war

She knows their future's burning/ But she can smile just the same, same/ And though her mood is fine today/ There’s a fear they'll soon be parting ways

Love Boat Caption - Sirius/Remus, Lily/James, etc etc. during the war

Love boat captain/ Take the reigns and steer us towards the clear, here/ It’s already been sung, but it can't be said enough/ All you need is loveIt's an art to live with pain/ Mix the light into grey/ Lost nine friends we'll never know/ Two years ago today/ And if our lives became too long/ Would it add to our regret?…./Hold me and make it the truthThat when all is lost, there will be you

Evacuation - going into hiding

Lukin- Lily and James have to go into hiding

(Tw st*lking mention in explanation, gun mention in song) The song was written by Eddie when he was being stalked and he had to bring himself and his wife to a friend’s house for safety.

In Hiding - Lily and James are in hiding and enter Peter

No way in or out/ I turned and walked the hallways/ And pulled the curtains down…./I swallow the truth to keep from lying/ i'm no longer overwhelmed and it seems so simple now/ Yeah, it's funny how things change so much/ It’s all state of mind

Once - Peter Pettigrew betraying the marauders

Literally about someone committing a mass murder. “Once upon a time I could control myself.” “Mimic whats insane.”

Around the Bend - I'm so sorry ummm but Lily to Harry on Halloween 💀

I am wishing you a well…./ I hold your head deep in my arms/ My fingertips, they close your eyes/ Off you dream, my little child/ There’s a sun around the bend/ Please forgive me, won't you, dear?/ Please forgive and let me share with you, around the bend/ You’re an angel when you sleep/ How I want your soul to keep, on and on around the bend

Garden - Sirius being taken to Azkaban

He’s just taking his fate as it comes to him.

The direction of the eye/ So misleading/ The defection of the soul/ Nauseously quick/I will walk, with my hands bound/ I will walk, with my face blood/ I will walk, with my shadow flag/ Into your garden/ Garden of stone

Even flow - IS SO VERY MUCH SIRIUS IN AZKABAN

sung from the pov of an incarcerated person waiting for life to begin again

BUGS - Sirius in Azkaban (yes I already said this abt remus but idc)

Bugs on my ceiling/ Crowded the floor/ Standing sitting kneeling…/ A few block the door/ And now the question’s:/ Do I kill them?/ Become their friend?/ Do I eat them?/ Do I join them?/ I’ll just stop now/ I’ll become naked/ And with the...I'll become one

Black - Remus lamenting about Sirius’ perceived deception

Remembering their love and how now so many of his memories are tainted (by) black and that all of this has changed him fundamentally (star imagery, “black”, “tattooed everything”)

Indifference - Sirius in grimmauld place, sirius in Azkaban

Sirius taking his home life in stride until he can leave, taking Azkaban in stride bc it doesn’t matter any way bc he believes he deserve it anyway

“Pretend I'm free to roam/ I will make my way/ Through one more day in hell/ How much difference does it make?/ How much difference does it make?/ I will hold the candle/ Till it burns up my arm/ Oh, I'll keep takin' punches/ Until their will grows tired/ Oh, I will stare the sun down/ Until my eyes go blind/ Hey, I won't change direction/ And I won't change my mind/ How much difference does it make?/ How much difference does it make?/ I’ll swallow poison, until I grow immune/ I will scream my lungs out till it fills this room”

Alive - Remus post ’81

Eddie originally wrote the song as a lament - why did I live when he didn’t? Why am I still alive?

“Is something wrong she said, of course there is, you’re still alive she said, but do I deserve to be?”

Animal - Remus after ’81 when he needs to transform alone

Feat. A throwback to being turned (so tw: abd*ction) “Torture from you to me, yeah/Abducted from the street/I'd rather be with an animal”

Nothingman - Sirius and Remus after ’81

Once divided nothing left to subtract/ Some words when spoken can't be taken back/ Walks on his own with thoughts he can't help thinking/ Future’s above but in the past he's slow and sinking…./ She once believed in every story he had to tell/ One day she stiffened took the other side/ Empty stares from each corner of a shared prison cell/ One just escapes one's left inside the well

Smile - Remus @ the marauders (except it’s after ’81 and he just thinks of them fondly)

Don't it make you smile?/ I miss you already/ I miss you always/ I miss you already/ I miss you all day/ This is how I feel/ Three crooked hearts swirls all around/ Don’t it make you smile?

In my tree - remus abt sirius after ’81

I remember him, yeah…/ I swore I knew everything, oh yeah…/ They say knowledge is a dream, yeah…/ He's growing up just like me, yeah…

Light Years - Remus abt Sirius

But now you're gone, I haven't figured out why/ I’ve come up with riddles and jokes about war/ I’ve figured out numbers and what they're for/ I’ve understood feelings and I've understood words/ But how could you be taken away?/ Back pages and days alone that could have been spent/ Together, but we were miles apart Every inch between us becomes light years now

I’m open - Remus!!!! Post ’81

After spending half his life searching he still felt as blank/ As the ceiling at which he stared/ He is alive but feels absolutely nothing/ So is he?/ When he was six he believed that the moon overhead followed him/…..So this is what it's like to be an adult/ If he only knew now what he knew then

Thumbing my Way - Remus post ’81 again blah blah ikik

I can't be free with what's locked inside of me/ If there was a key you took it in your hand/ There’s no wrong or right but I'm sure there's good and bad/ The questions linger overhead

Rats - we know how remus like to soliloquize …. This is him waxing poetic about how fucking horrible Peter is

The song itself is kind of listing the many ills of humankind saying how rats don’t compare to people bc they don’t do all this. But Peter isnt really a rat. He’s a man and oppresses like a man and betrays like a man and takes like a man.

“Drink the blood of their so-called best friend….They don't scurry when something bigger comes their way….Don't take what's not theirs“

Oceans - Sirius escaping Azkaban

Hold on to the thread/ The currents will shift, glide me towards/ You know something's left/ And we're all allowed to dream of the next…..The sea will rise/ Please stand by the shore/ I will be there once more

Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town - Sirius after Azkaban

200004309248% sirius returning from 12 years isolated. He doesn’t really recognize most things. Remus wouldn’t recognize him. He’s different. Changed by being unchanged. He couldn’t grow and learn and morph and become. He stagnated yet decayed. But he’s back and he recognizes your skin and your breath. He’s back.

Off He Goes - Sirius is a Sagittarius in the first half, second half is post PoA

Know a man his face seemed pulled and tense/ Like he's riding on a motorbike in the strongest winds/ So I approach with tact/ Suggest that he should relax/ But he's always movin' much too fast/ Said he'll see me on the flip side/ On this trip he's taken for a ride…./ And now I rub my eyes for he has returned/ Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned/ For he still smiles and he's still strong/ Nothing’s changed, but the surrounding bullshit, that has grown/ And now he's home, and we're laughing, like we always did/ My same old, same old friend/ Until a quarter-to-ten

All Those Yesterdays - and cue the bath scene, remus washes his lost love

Don't you think you oughta rest?/ Don’t you think you oughta lay you head down?/ You don't think there's time to stop/ There’s time enough for you to lay your head down tonight tonight/ Let it wash away/ All those yesterdays