#I was fuckin around with the files when I was bored lmao

[typheus]

I’m factory restarting my laptop (just spring cleaning) and I forgot to save my Minecraft worlds 😭

Also I was moving my sai files from the usb to the laptop n accidentally also clicked homestuck. This shits gonna take foreverrrr

[angel-of-the-moons]

Ballet dancer reader x khonshu who tries to be his mysterious scary self and the reader just WHIPS her leg up to uppercut his head and crack his skull. Khonshu grabs her leg at the last second and he’s VERY surprised as she looks him DEAD in the eye, “I will FUCK you up. My ballet teacher has been a Russian matriarch since I was 5. You can’t scare me, bitch”. And khonshu’s just “Well mark me down as nervous AND horny!!”

I fucking cackled at this it's so fucking gorgeous

I changed it up a bit for comedic effect but asfghhkkll

Old Birds and New Tricks

Khonshu x Fem!Dancer!Reader

TW/CW: Attempted mugging, reader is a badass, Khonshu pops a boner for the first time in like ever, but nothing explicit happens :)

A/N: I figured you'd get a kick outta this one @drinkingwithkhonshu @juneknight because I'm on the floor with it lmao

🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑

You were walking home after a long practice session, your toes and legs ached from straining to stay on your tippy toes for so long, your arms cried for relief from the strain of holding the bar, performing so many sweeps and graceful flares alongside your troupe and mentor.

Your mentor, Katja Ivanov was a good teacher and a harsh mentor. She was a hulk of a woman, roped with muscles built over her long period of performing dance (you yourself thought she must have been in prison at some point, too but when you shot the question as a joke she merely laughed; but didn't deny it).

Katja was a woman who took no shit from rude people, and she instilled that in all of you, her dancers, her "baby birds" she called you. She made sure that all of you knew that just because you were dancers, people couldn't take you for granted.

So, after "official" dance practice had ended... Katja taught all of you how to use your strength and flexibility to defend yourselves as well as perform graceful maneuvers.

And it came in handy. Really, really handy.

London was dangerous after dark, the empty streets crawling with bad things in the shadows, like an infection beneath the skin.

That was how you found yourself in an alley, a large drunk man between you and freedom.

You were no quitter, no coward, and instantly, like a computer scanning a file, your brain recollected each one of Katja's lessons and put them into action.

Your body flushed with fresh adrenaline, your heart hammering within the confines of your chest as you whipped around on one foot, your other flying out to kick your assailant in his gut, knocking him back and making him dry heave with the strain.

"I told you, asshole." You hissed, bringing your fists up to guard your face.

"All I got in my bag is my gear. Now piss off before I break your jaw."

"Fuckin'... bitch." The man wheezed as he stumbled out of the alleyway, leaving you behind and feeling the high of victory.

You pick up your bag where you dropped it and slipped the strap back over your chest, the band squishing a bit between your breasts as you tightened it.

"Amusing." A deep, raspy voice mused.

You whipped around, trying in vain to locate the source of the voice. It came from nowhere, but at the same time... it came from everywhere.

"I was merely passing through when I thought to aid you, human." It spoke again, your very bones trembling as the voice bored into your very brain.

"But you seem to have been able to handle that threat on your own."

You pressed your ears hard beneath your hands, gritting your teeth at the invasive feeling the voice left as it crawled in and out of you.

"God! Just--get out of my head!" You say through your gnashed teeth.

You hear an exasperated sigh, and you feel the air shift around you as you lift your gaze, your eyes trailing the body of someone who just appeared in front of you.

He looked like a cliché monster from one of The Mummy movies, draped in linen and flowy robes and everything. The freakin' bird skull completed the freaky visage.

"The hell--" You sputter, dropping your hands from around your ears, taking a step back from the... the thing in front of you.

"Seeing you handle an opponent so large was amusing." He--and you were most certain that he was a he--chuckled grimly. "A tiny little waif like you."

Okay, you didn't care how big and imposing this otherworldly bastard was, the fact he was jabbing at your stature and visual "weaknesses" irked you. You could swear you heard Katja's voice from over your shoulder.

"Kick his ass, да, маленький?" She would jeer.

"You... think I'm... small?" You say slowly, your eyes narrowing to a dangerous glint as he leans in, the smell of the spices clinging to his body wafting into your nose, heat radiating from his lithe body as he bent to your level.

You were giving him a chance to walk it back, maybe apologize for being a judgmental prick, so you wouldn't have to prove once again that you were just the opposite.

He did not.

"You are not as weak as you appear... Little one." He huffed, his head moving in a slight jerking motion, indicating his amusement.

Yeah, no. You had enough of big assholes thinking you were easy pickin's tonight.

You smiled sweetly up at him, your expression completely devoid of any innocence behind the mask of charm. You could see his shoulders drop and head tilt in confusion, but he was given not another moment longer to ponder why you would be smiling.

He expected you to retort, to snap, to--his thoughts were immediately cut off, as you moved in a blur.

Because you effortlessly raised your leg with lightning speed brought on by years of practice, and curled your foot in the classic ballerina's stance and kicked him in his stupid ass beak.

When your shoe made contact, you swore you heard the dry bones crunch as he stumbled back, almost falling flat on his ass before he caught himself with his staff, a grunt coming away from him.

Your hands gripped your bag strap as you looked down at him indignantly, a sense of smug superiority washing over you.

"Not as weak as you thought, now, huh?" You huffed victoriously, before turning on your heels and storming out of the alley.

Khonshu, the god of the Moon, dispenser of Justice and protector of those in the night...

...was just kicked in the face by a tiny woman.

And she actually did manage to crack his bones. They healed almost instantly, of course, thanks to his divinity.

But what didn't heal was his pride as he kneeled in the dirty alley, leaning on his staff for support as he watched you leave.

The look in your eyes, the power behind your legs... It was like the sun came up early and rose with your kick, to wash out the cool light of his moon with the harsh burning rays of daylight.

And it left him stunned. Stunned in a way no mortal has ever been able to.

And, frankly, he found his body responding in... other ways, too. Ways he hadn't indulged in what felt like... eons.

He was a god, yes, but divinity doesn't automatically grant piousness; and he found himself imagining you using your legs in a different way.

Had Khonshu a human mouth, he would be smiling.

He needed to see you again.

🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑

да (pronounced da) = Yes

маленький (pronounced malen'kiy) = Little One

(Forgive me if it's butchered, I used Google translate for it asdfghjkl)

[alkalische]

I saw your Bagpipe redesign posts. I love your breakdown of her design and how you fixed it. There are so many cool characters in Arknights that then get depicted as Generic Skinny Anime Girls and it drives me bonkers. You and other artists on here are doing fantastic work and feeding us starving fans.

You mention Horn’s design throwing you out of immersion; big fucking same. I don’t know her backstory yet(not that far in the story) but she’s a soldier carrying around two giant shield/mortars/sword things(?). And they’re trying to tell us she’s not built like a brick shithouse??? I personally picture her sorta like @gothducky ‘s big buff butch depiction. And every time her character pops on screen I’m like “who are you???”. I didn’t even realize she didn’t have pants till seeing your redesign and it’s like WHY is she not wearing pants when fighting with fucking artillery shields….!!!!????

THANK YOU! It made me really happy to read that! I'm going to use your ask as an excuse to talk about character design issues i have in arknights so long post

(more under cut)

One of my only complaints about Arknights is how they'll introduce a character to be 'very big and strong and capable of pummeling your ass' and it is just noodlearms mcgee

(image: Hoshiguma, Nearl)

like i think BOTH of these designs are absolutely fantastic and are able to convey the character's personality very well, but i do Not. believe.

and hell yeah i love it when artists draw the women of arknights with the muscles they RIGHTFULLY deserve to have (big fan of @/dlartistanon's depiction of saria and nearl)

have this cropped saria i drew a while ago because buff women supremacy

Just a massive personal pet peeve is when, as i said in my bagpipe complaint post, the character is very 'tell, not show'. I think that no matter how interesting the character is in their files and in their story appearance, I'm still unable to connect with them if i'm unable to picture their design doing that.

It's especially egrigeous if the character is supposed to be wearing a uniform. I would actually have no problem with the 'thighs showing while fighting on a battlefield' IF. IF it's clear that that's supposed to be a casual outfit.

Like this is such an issue for me that i kind of zone out whenever a character comes up on the screen with a noticeably horny design (fuckin.. rockrock) because it's so distracting in a negative way

(Image: Rockrock)

I do Not know what the hell i'm supposed to tell from this design. I just know that i Do Not. like it and it makes me have little desire to learn more about the operator

In my opinion the designs in Victoria are very divisive because the good ones are very good (Bena, Shalem, Reed) and the 'bad' (more boring honestly) ones are very bad (Rockrock, Nightmare, whatever's going on in Skyfire's beach skin)

Sorry for rambling on and on i'm just very passionate about storytelling in character designs lmao

[gaycrittercentral]

if each max sin and sam virtu decited to date eachother, who would each date?

( like would lust max choose chasity sam or? )

ooooOOOOOoooo this is a fun one!! :D also WOOOOWWWW FUCK YOU TUMBLR I HAD THIS ALL WRITTEN UP AND READY TO GO AND YOU JUST FUCKIN CRASH ON ME AND DELETE ALL MY GODDAMN WORK?????? wow. hellsite real fjdksljgds;jfdsj

anyway back to the fun question ^^; this gonna get long so I'll put it under a cut!

Yeah I think you're absolutely right, Chastity and Lust are hysterical together. Like it's too much fun to chase him down and flirt relentlessly and watch him squeak in terror, Lust wouldn't be able to resist lmao. Also as I've touched on in past posts, Chastity is really just barely holding back his own desires and would definitely be into it despite his intense embarrassment. Like they make out in a closet for hours and then he stumbles out with cartoon smooch marks all over his head all woozy and lovestruck lmaoooooo. Now how about the rest of them...

OOH y'know who's really funny together, Greed and Charity. Because Greed wants everything, and Charity wants to give it to him. They are actively making each other worse and it's great <3

but I don't think they'd all match up one to one, like for example, Diligence and Sloth are funny together but would absolutely drive each other insane (or probably just to tears in Sloth's case :'/). Instead, I think Sloth would be drawn to Patience, because Patience won't make him get up pretty much ever lmao. They just sit still all day and Sloth gets a good nap and cuddle in hehe ^^

Now how about the more, er, temperamental ones...Wrath is tough because he just likes to shoot at everybody, so he's not exactly in the market for a partnership, much less relationship. But y'know, he'd be kinda perfect with Diligence because he needs people to shoot and Diligence needs people to arrest, so Diligence just goes around siccing him on every criminal in sight xD Then when Wrath gets bored and starts shooting at Diligence he just scoffs like "Stop that Max I have paperwork to file. Go shoot at some pigeons why don't you" fdsjksdljgs;dhf

Gluttony is absolutely not getting a date, he's getting a snack. And probably it's Temperance. Like Temperance would love to have a proper relationship with at least one of his multicolored husbands, but he happens to get a little too close and Gluttony's just like "ah perfect you look edible >:)" and that's all she wrote lmaooooo

Another tricky one is Humility since he's kind of just a conglomeration of self-loathing, poor baby. Honestly it would be WILDLY toxic, but I could kinda see him ending up with Pride if Pride decided he liked keeping him around for like menial tasks and offering worship and shit. Probably there's more to be said about that depending on whose version of Pride we're talking about, but I'll leave that for @pikaflute or @lizardtheartist to expand on if they happen to feel like it ;>c

And lastly, I'd love to see Kindness and Envy pair off because every version I've seen of that poor boy could use some love and reassurance, and that's all Kindness wants to do day in day out ^^ like Kindness would still be bouncing around helping other people too, but if Envy's clinging to his shoulders the whole time then he'd be able to check in with him frequently and make him still feel appreciated and cared for. What's better for feeling valued than being carried around by somebody who spends every waking moment asking if you need anything and telling you he loves you and idly scritching your cheeks while he does other stuff? ^^<3 Sure, Kindness still needs to calm the fuck down and take care of himself too, but Envy does also need to be blasted with love like that lmao so it would at least be nice in the short term.

Oh and I almost forgot their poor chopped-up counterparts, Bliss Max and Sin Sam! :0 they're interesting because they kind of go in two opposite directions--Bliss Max gets along with everybody and would probably be perfectly chill hanging out with any of the virtues, but Sin Sam is kind of perpetually ticked off and doesn't wanna be around anyone lmao. Probably Bliss Max could get along especially well with Kindness (but Kindness does try very hard to make that a given), but I could also see him being good buddies with Chastity. Since he's not really flirty, Chastity would feel safer with him, and maybe they'd have a nice little chat about hobbies or some such lol. As for Sin Sam, he might be able to have some fun with Wrath for a while, but that's assuming Wrath doesn't just try to shoot him on sight instead (which honestly seems like the more likely outcome). He'd also be able to have some fun with Lust, but he'd get sick of Lust being all lovey dovey and ditch him pretty quickly (what a heartbreaker shhgjfjdskhgsjfs xD). Bastard man. He kinda deserves to get stuck with the irritatingly bubbly Bliss Max lmaoooooo

And that's all I got!! Btw if anybody else makin vice content wants to reblog with ideas I'd love to hear em! Thanks again for a fun ask, bud :D

[plaidpyjamas]

BG3 is all I can think about lately, despite not being able to play it lmao anyway who wants to talk about our bg3 ocs

Stuff I literally just came up with for my oc, Emery, under the cut

• Tiefling dad, human mom (cutesy mutual pining cashier/regular customer thing)

• Dhampir stuff is from dad's side, generations back. At this point no one remembers its even there

• Dhampir & Mortal/Tiefling

• Mortal/Tiefling blood caused Dhampir abilities to go dormant

• Vampiric abilities only "activate" if humanoid blood (other than one's own) is consumed

• Sun sensitivity - easily sunburnt and unable to see well in bright light

• Can eat food or drink blood, either will keep him going (though as he ages he will become more reliant on blood to keep himself feeling healthy, eventually abandoning food altogether, lengthening his lifespan in the process)

• Consuming blood will temporarily increase healing speed

• Does need sleep, but nowhere near as much (3-4 hours/night)

• Picks up a bunch of odd hobbies/ways to kill time because of it

• The rest of the party has repeatedly had to tell Emery and Astarion to stfu while everyone is trying to sleep

• It's not their fault they're bored and can't stop play fighting 🤷‍♂️

• Accidentally activated his Dhampir abilities by ingesting Astarion's blood (Astarion is painfully smug about that)

• Doesn't drink blood often, usually to heal himself/bully Astarion (he and Gale are the only two Emery will drink from. They're both painfully smug about that)

• Half Tiefling = tail, slightly pointed ears, small horns (Dhampir abilities give him slight fangs once activated)

• He's shy about his horns and gets all blushy if someone calls them cute

• Tends to hold onto his tail when he's feeling shy/flustered

• While his horns are small, they are curved in a way that makes Emery think of boars and how sometimes their tusks will grow and stab back into their skulls. He tries not to think about that (he's failing)

• He's a bit neurotic about keeping track of how long they are - at least one of his journals is dedicated to morning-and-night horn measurements (They haven't grown.... right? The numbers say they haven't....but....I swear my right horn feels longer...)

• Has seriously considered filing his horns down, like one would their nails. Just in case

• Is godawful at horn care. Please help him

• Astarion loves Emery's horns (and would never let him file them down, holy shit dude no) but mostly he likes grabbing them to mess with him.

• And making jokes about the convenient handles on his head

• Emery tends to wrap his tail around the legs of people he likes/ trusts

• His tail is almost always wrapped around Astarion or Gale's legs

• Or accidentally (and painfully) tangled with Karlach's tail because they both got too excited about something again

• Both Astarion and Gale have trouble keeping their hands off of Emery's tail

• The party could be in the middle of an intense negotiation with someone, and fuckin Gale's got his hand wrapped in the end of Emery's tail, absent-mindedly swinging it lightly back and forth

• Or Emery and Astarion are threatening/bullying someone - one of Astarion's hands is holding onto the very end of Emery's tail. He's just. Holding it. Gesturing lightly with it. And Emery's just. Letting him. While they're sending someone to the shadow realm with vicious mockery

[atlabeth]

transferred part four - atla smau

TRANSFERRED - zuko x fem!reader

masterlist | part 3 | part 5

summary: trying to run from your past is hard, but falling for your brother’s roommate is even harder. little do you know that he’s falling for you as well.

warning: cursing

a/n: IM SORRY I KEEP SWITCHING POVS the one at the end is katara lmao

taglist:  @ourbestfriend-mishacollins , @lil-lex1 , @xxshad0wxb1rdxx , @zuko-is-the-sun​ 

You slipped your phone into the back pocket of your jeans and got out of your car, taking a few moments to stretch out your arms and legs after the long drive. It was a little weird to think that this was going to be your new home and university, especially after so long in Kyoshi, but you were honestly looking forward to the change. After the disastrous breakup you endured, it was time for a new chapter. 

Your eyes instinctively snapped over to where you heard a noise, and a huge grin broke out on your face. Two people were coming out of the complex, and they were none other than your two roommates. 

“Sokka, Aang!” You yelled as you ran towards them. You barreled into Sokka and wrapped him in the tightest hug you could muster, looping Aang into it as well for a few moments before you pulled away, smiling so wide your face hurt. 

“Aang, it’s so good to see you, and Sokka — Sokka, you’ve gotten so tall!” You mussed up his hair with your hand which he swatted away. 

“It’s good to see you too, Y/N, but it hasn’t even been that long! And I don’t know how many times I have to remind you that you’re only a year and a half older than me!” 

“Sokka, I haven’t seen you since I moved to Kyoshi for college. It’s been far too long.” You gestured with your head for them to follow you as you started walking over to your car. “And Aang, it’s been forever since I’ve seen you too! You better be treating Katara well.” 

The shorter boy smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head, faint red tinting his cheeks. “I like to think I am, we’re really happy together. She’s the best person that I know and the most beautiful girl ever and she always h-” 

“Okay, that’s enough! Seriously Y/N, you don’t have to whip out the interrogations right away.” Despite his complaints, Sokka gave you a genuine smile and you could tell he was just as happy to see you. 

“Whatever. I’m gonna need all the details on everything that’s been going on the past three years. The occasional facetime call has not been enough.” You went to the back of your car and opened your trunk where most of the boxes were, turning your head when you heard another car pulling up. 

“That’s Katara’s car!” Aang exclaimed. “That must be her and the other girls!” 

The car pulled in two spots away from you and as soon as it stopped, an auburn-haired girl jumped out of the driver's seat and streaked over towards you, wrapping you in an even tighter hug than you gave Sokka. 

“Suki!” She was practically suffocating you but you were so glad to see her that you didn’t even care. “I’m so glad you’re here!” 

“Like I would miss my best friend’s moving day?” The two of you pulled away and went through your increasingly elaborate handshake, ending in a hip bump that caused you both to dissolve into giggles. “You look amazing, Y/N. It feels like it’s been forever since we’ve been together.” 

“Well, we don’t have to worry about that anymore, because I’m here to stay! At least for the next four years.” You laughed and looked over to where your sister was helping Toph out of the car and gave her a wave. 

“As much fun as I’m having with all these greetings, we gotta start moving these fuckin’ boxes! At this rate, I’m gonna be sleeping outside.” You hugged Katara as well when she walked over, then you picked the first box up and motioned with your head for everyone else to get one as you started walking backwards towards the apartment. “Toph is the only one who’s exempt from this, everyone else gets a box and s-” 

You stopped in the middle of your sentence when someone bumped into you from behind, causing you to nearly drop your box. You were just as surprised when you felt hands on your waist, keeping you steady and helping you regain your balance. You turned your head and could immediately feel your cheeks heating up as you hastily moved away, laughing nervously and occupying yourself with the box in your hands. 

“Hey! Zuko! Nice to meet you! It is Zuko, right?” His golden eyes seemed to burn into you, but they were offset by his kind smile and the casual nod he gave you. 

“Yeah, that’s me. Sorry I’m so late, I was showering. I didn’t think you were gonna be here so soon.” He waved at Katara and Suki and they smiled back at him. 

He was even more attractive in person. His jet black hair, still a little wet from his shower, hanging just above his eyes was really doing it for you, and god, his eyes. They were intense, but more like a comforting campfire than a raging wildfire. You didn’t even realize you were staring until Sokka elbowed you. 

Your eyes widened slightly and you quickly averted them, adjusting your hold on the box and letting out another nervous laugh. “Now that we’re all here, how about these boxes, huh? I don’t have that much stuff because I’m broke, which is good for all of you.” 

You had gotten out of your flustered state by the time that everyone had a box in hand, save for Toph, and conversation flowed much easier while you and the rest of the group walked into the complex. 

“How was your drive, Y/N?” Zuko asked, holding the door open with his back as you all filed inside.

You shook your head and scoffed as you hit the button to call the elevator. “As boring as you can imagine. Traffic wasn’t horrible, but I swear I hit every single light on the way here. My music was the only thing that kept me sane.” 

“One pro of being blind is that I always have company in cars, but it also kinda sucks when the only source of conversation you have is Sokka or Katara,” Toph said with a teasing grin. 

“What?” Both of the aforementioned yelled at the same time, causing everyone except them to dissolve into laughter. 

“This is what I missed. I don’t even have to make up for three years of missed teasing because Toph’s had it taken care of.” You patted her on the shoulder as the elevator door opened and everyone filed in. “What floor are we on?” 

“Three. There’s a lot of foot traffic and we have some very annoying neighbors, but it’s one of the cheaper places here!” Sokka pushed the button and the doors closed. 

“Sounds.. fun!” You couldn’t really complain because you had practically begged for Sokka to let you live with him, plus you couldn’t afford anything more than splitting rent four ways in a cheap apartment. “Is there anything else I should know?” 

“Sokka never washes his dishes and only takes out the trash if you yell at him to do it. Zuko always leaves his towels on the ground but he’s a neat freak so the cleanliness of his room leeches into the rest of our apartment, it’s great. And I’m a perfect roommate,” Aang said with his smile that could convince you to give him everything you owned. 

“That is such a lie, Aang! I do everything that I’m supposed to do; your room is a mess that can’t even be cleaned up by Zuko, plus you stay up super late all the time talking on the phone to Katara! Thin walls buddy, THIN. WALLS.” 

“Do you want to talk about thin walls? Because you play your music as loud as possible, and somehow it’s always when I’m trying to study! And every time we drink, you become a huge mess.” After Zuko put his word in, the three boys all started arguing. You made eye contact with Katara and Suki; Katara gave you a sympathetic smile but Suki just grinned. 

“Alright, boys! We’re here, so kindly shut up.” You elbowed Sokka in the side as you walked out of the elevator, giving him an innocent smile when he scowled at you. “Lead the way, bro.” 

~~ 

It took about ten minutes to get all of your boxes in the apartment with six people helping you, and though the girls wanted to stay they had to get back for some stuff relating to their classes. You thanked and hugged them all, and soon it was just you, your brother, your sister’s boyfriend, and the guy that you thought was hot. 

You spun around in the living room before collapsing onto the couch, spreading your arms out above you and sighing heavily. “I feel like I could fall asleep right here.” 

“I hope you can because that’s where you’re gonna be sleeping.” You looked up at Sokka with shock, and he stared back at you for about five seconds until he started laughing. 

“Ah, you should’ve SEEN your face!” He managed to get out through his laughter, wiping a tear from his eye. 

“Do you enjoy causing me pain?” 

“Very much so.” 

“You and Sokka are sharing a room, Y/N. Aang and I are in the other. And don’t worry, there are two twin beds in each so you don’t have to share share,” Zuko explained quickly. 

“Oh, fantastic. My boyfriend always snored a lot so I’ve gotten very good at tuning them out. You’re lucky that I’m the best roommate ever, bro.” 

“First you invade the sanctuary that is my home, and then the sanctuary that is the group chat for the home, and now you embarrass me in front of all of my friends for no reason? You are not my mom!” 

“Come on Y/N, we can show you around your room and the apartment.” Aang interrupted Sokka’s spiel, still going on in the background as the two of you walked over to a door with a large band poster on it. 

Zuko watched your retreating figure with a small smile on his face until you disappeared into the room, snapping out of his trance when Sokka started pulling him towards the room, grumbling about how ‘no one appreciates my genius’ and ‘can’t believe they left me’. 

[babbushka]

Hi honey! Happy (almost) Valentine's Day! Could I please request from the hug prompts list a sleepy hug, a leaping hug, or a lifting off the ground hug with either Clyde or Flip (all romantic hugs)? I hope you have a lovely Valentine's Day and that Flip treats you to something special tomorrow! Sending you my love!

Anonymous said: I’ve been holding out on this one until I got the right opportunity to ask and now it’s finally time lmao 🙌 Flip and his darling Jewish wife hugging. Can be headcanon, one shot, whatever. Even though it’s so simple just get so gooey when I think about Flip giving and reciving a comforting, loving, faces pressed into each others necks, arms crushing each other hug 🥺✨ p.s I love you 💚

Flip is not, in any way shape or form, a happy camper tonight. Valentine’s Day is passing him by, and instead of sitting with you on some love-dovey date, he’s here. At work. He could scream. When he had gotten the call from Bridges, he was positive that it had to be some mistake, he could have sworn he took the day off! So to his horror, when Bridges announced bright and early that not only was Flip working, but working a double, Flip just about blew a fuckin’ gasket, and he hasn’t shut up about that fact ever since.  

“I fuckin’ hate that I’m here.” Case in point, Flip has his head resting in his palm as he smokes smokes smokes, trying to care about the case files in front of him, and failing.

Everyone around him stifles a groan for the umpteenth time, because as Ron speaks for them all, “Believe me bud, we’re not too thrilled about it either.”

“Of all the days to be stuck workin’ a double…” Flip grumbles to himself, crumpling and throwing scrap pieces of paper into the trashbin across the room (and making every single one of the shots, thank you very fuckin’ much), just to give himself something to do.

It’s not even that late – ten o’clock wasn’t that late. He could still salvage the night if only he could get his shit together and finish the work in front of him. But every time he looks down at the words typed up, he just gets an even darker thunder cloud over his head.

He must be hallucinating, he’s been there too long and with too little coffee, because he could’ve sworn he hears your chuckle, the one you give him when he’s being exceptionally exasperating. Then, he starts to wonder just the extent of his imagination, because your voice sounds so fuckin’ real, comin’ from the direction of the door to the narcotics unit’s office, and he can hear the smile in your tone when you say, “You really miss me that much, huh?”

Almost in disbelief, Flip turns around slow slow slow, blinking in confusion. It wasn’t just auditory hallucinations, it’s somehow visual too, because standing there leaning up against the doorframe is you, in your soft pretty lounge-about clothes.

A second or two go by, and you still haven’t disappeared when he blinks, which means --

“Ketsl!” He bolts out of his seat, takes four big strides across the office, and scoops you up into his arms, lifting you clean off the floor. You’re real, and you’re here, and Flip can’t believe it.

“Hi cowboy – Flip!” You laugh, the sound bright and cheerful in an otherwise drab and tense room, and the guys take that as a cue to slip out of the office, giving you some time alone.

He doesn’t let you go, not so soon after getting you in his arms. His hugs were only right when they were hugging you, no one else fit so perfectly against him. Those strong biceps of his squeeze you tight around your waist, the strength of his core holding you against him, as your ankles cross and kick lazily in the air.

Your eyes close and your chin tips up, pressing your smile against his lips, too happy to see him to even kiss him properly. He covers your face in small smooches, little smacking presses of his own, letting you slip down an inch or two until your feet are on the floor again, until your face is tucked against his chest, and he’s got his chin resting on the top of your head.  

“What are you doing here?” He asks, now about ninety-six percent sure you’re real and this isn’t a dream.

Flip doesn’t pull back to look at you or anything, he’s still holding you captive in his arms, squeezing you tight, making you feel safe and secure and completely encircled by his love. Flip can practically feel his stress and sour mood fade away, and it’s all entirely your fault. He’s sure the guys are poppin’ fuckin’ champagne bottles in the break room, knowing that he won’t be such a bitch now.

“I thought that if you couldn’t come spend the night at home, I’d come spend the night here.” You beam up at him, reaching for his lips once again, not getting enough of him in the same way he can never get enough of you.

“Are you sure? This is the least romantic spot in town baby, I’m sorry about all this I – ” At once, he assesses the situation; the office is full and boring, there’s a couple heart shaped balloons and roses in vases that the secretaries put up but they look kind of pathetic in the fluorescent lights.

You step away then, just far enough to pick up the basket that you had dropped at the door of the office, and Flip wishes he could marry you all over again when you open the basket and reveal a bottle of champagne, chocolates, cheeses, and who the hell knows what else.

“I don’t think so,” You look at him with those stars in your eyes that make Flip’s knees go weak, especially when you snuggle yourself right back up against him for another hug. “I think it’s perfect. It’s got everything I need; decorations, food, mood music…”

You reach over to the little radio Flip keeps on his desk, and turn the dial to one of the oldies stations, Ray Conniff’s voice crackling through the airwaves seemingly just for the two of you, as he holds you tight tight tight once again.

Flip lifts you up onto his toes, and the two of you dance, laughing at one another like lovesick fools, and Flip can only kiss you square on the lips when you lean your head against his chest again and whisper,

“And you.”

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

To distract myself from this awful political scene I'm forced to watch for history class: can you give us some obscure side characters (like, Dr. Diminutive, Newton the Gnu, type characters) you absolutely love for no reason? :) <3

Okay I am literally so late because I was doing my chem reading and my writing hw BUT I can’t refuse a chance to scream about my favorite characters (but y’all can refuse to listen to my scream about them so here’s a cut)

First of all, I want you to know that I haven’t even started listing characters yet and this ask has already lead me to spend almost $4 on Agent P’s Guide to Fighting Evil and that’s why I don’t look at the PnF wiki when I’m tired thank you for coming to my TED talk

I almost feel like I’m cheating by starting with Dr. Diminuitve but HOW CAN I NOT LIKE TELL ME THAT LIL MAN IS NOT THE BEST CHARACTER THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN OKAY FUCKIN DO IT JUST KIDDING YOU CAN’T I mean come on, one of his first lines was literally “I don’t have a Napoleon complex; Napoleon had a ME complex!” I had to check the wiki to see if that was his first line ever and I’m very disappointed that it wasn’t and then in OWCA’s Going Down when all the evil scientists were just vibin against the fence and they started doing that West Side Story snappy walk and Diminutive was so into the snaps that he just didn’t fucking move and then he opened his eyes and the rest of the gang was halfway off the screen fjdskhfkalsfhaskl I just really love him okay the more I think about it the more convinced I am that he’s actually my favorite character

Idk if this counts as an obscure side character but he is incredibly underrated so I gotta throw in: LAWRENCE FUCKING FLETCHER. He’s just such a pure and innocent lil dude. He sees the boys doing dangerous shit and he’s just like, “Well that’s happening,” or better yet, “Hey, that looks fun!” I mean, the airplace? The flying carpet? The monster trucks? He genuinely gives zero fucks and I love him for it. I wholeheartedly believe that Lawrence knows Perry is a secret agent -- or at least that he’s smarter than he acts -- but he’s literally so indifferent to everything going on around him that he never mentions it because life is full of fun and exciting things like that and he can’t talk about them all, you know? And he gets so excited about his antiques and he’s so passionate about history and ughhhh I love him 

I was about to say I feel like I’m cheating by using a special but it just occurred to me that that’s lowkey how I’ve prefaced all of these so no, fuck that, I’m using a special and that’s just how it’s gonna be. CARL FROM THE LAND OF INTERNUS WOULD HAVE MADE A MUCH BETTER ENDING THAN THE ACTUAL BOOK HAD AND FUCK YOU MONOGRAM FOR CUTTING CARL OFF BEFORE HE COULD TELL IT HOW HE WANTED TO

These two kinda go hand-in-hand but Bunka Da Bunkaquan and Sweary the Swan are my favorite alternative Perrys. As far as the specials go, Steampunx isn’t one of my favorites, but Sweary the Swan is just... How do you even describe Sweary the Swan? He is life. He is the reason I wake up in the morning. He is the only thing worth living for. And then Bunka Da Bunkaquan is just so fuckin cute and anyone who disagrees needs their eyes checked. And tbh while we’re talking about Tri-Stone area, I gotta throw in a mention of Doofengung no of course I didn’t have to google what his name was what are you talking about because I love how he just stares at the water and every time it drips he just fuckin cackles lmaooo

Okay one more special (maybe) but Doofenshmirtz in The Temple of Juatchadoon brooo I just googled it to make sure I spelled that right and I did woah my power is unmatched is lowkey my favorite Doofenshmirtz. I don’t know if it’s because I actually like him more than every other Doof or if it’s just because his first scene was with Phineas Ohio Flynn and they knew each other and they had actual interactions throughout the episode and the Doof/Phineas relationship is my favorite underexplored relationship, but Juatchadoon Doof makes the list anyway

The “what did you think, _________ was just going to fall out of the sky?” couple — who 100% deserved that cameo in catu

I’m almost afraid to say this in public, but I actually really like Roger. I was mostly indifferent to him at first, but then Delivery for Destiny happened and I was like wait a minute, why am I sleeping on his man who literally orders boxes just to give to his cat? And once I realized that he was kinda cool, it started sinking in that he was never actually a bad guy. Heinz never even really claimed he was -- if anything, his problem is that Roger isn’t a bad guy, and everyone in Gimmelshtump and Danville knows it. And I gotta give Roger credit for not being too harsh on his brother, because yeah, he can be a little stuck up (I’m looking at you, stupid golf game), but you can’t really blame him for thinking he’s better than Heinz, you know? But at least he’s not a dick about it like their parents are. Also the entire latter half of this paragraph was me trying to find a way to work in the other part of that scene with the cat box and it didn’t work so I’m just gonna tack it on to the end because this isn’t an essay for English class and I can do that lmao. Paul mentions that he just delivered something to a Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and Roger is like 😬 because let’s be real, no one wants to be represented by the type of dude to try to juice City Hall, but he’s obviously not going to say that because he’s still a respectful dude, so he’s just like “Charming... man... isn’t he...” and he’s literally so uncomfortable and it cracks me up every time but also it’s lowkey kinda wholesome because Heinz may make it his life mission to embarrass his brother but Roger doesn’t reciprocate. but I accidentally discovered a few weeks ago that John O’Hurley is a raging Trump supporter so I gotta dock points for that one

In the same vein, Paul the delivery guy. What more do I have to say?

If my love of Roger didn’t turn the world against me, this one probably will, but I’m going to say it loud and proud anyway. I LOVE PETER THE PANDA. He’s just??? so??? cute??? Like when he was tearing apart Doof’s inator and he was just... actually no scratch that I need pictures for this because I can’t explain this in words

THIS IS NOT EITHER OF THE PICTURES I WAS LOOKING FOR BUT LOOK AT THIS LITTLE GUY OH MY GOD

Peter really said “this bitch empty, YEET!”

okay but the ones I was actually looking for are...

I mean, how can you not find him adorable? And don’t even get me started on his relationship with Perry because Meapless in Seattle was just... B R O Perry flew halfway across the country (probably I mean idk where exactly Danville is but they use EST so Seattle is probably halfway across the country?) just to go grab a coffee with him. They went on a lil date at a fancy restaurant I know Dan said it wasn’t a date but he's been wrong in the tiktok comments before which means none of his opinions are canon lmao. They’re just? So? Cute? I don’t even know what to make of their relationship but I live for it.

And I can’t mention Peter without bringing up his nemesis, who, to be entirely honest, I also don’t know what to make of and he’s mostly on this list because I like the line “How did you get chorus girls in here?” and when I downloaded and cut a bunch of songs that you can download from Google Drive here if you want, I specifically kept that part in because I love it lmao (I do gotta point out tho because it’s been bugging me since I last watched the episode: I don’t think we have any proof that Professor Mystery even exists in the PnF dimension. I had just assumed he did for the longest time, but that entire episode takes place in a dimension where Lawrence is a polar bear. Who knows what other differences there are?)

I love all the grandparents and I don’t even have an explanation they’re just all adorable

Okay I know I said no more specials but TECHNICALLY at2d isn’t a special; it’s a movie. I am physically incapable of not brining up the muffin time Normbot and the “I use aggression to mask my insecurites” Normbot.

While we’re talking about Norm, his old head would 100% swear all the fucking time if it wasn’t a kids’ show and i gotta respect it

Dan Povenmire does one line for a dude named Vinnie in Mission Marvel and off the top of my head I don’t remember who he is but it was the beginning of the episode and I think (?) it was during the New York scene and he does it in the Vinnie Dakota voice long before Dakota was even a concept (I’m assuming) so he gets a mention

Jerry the Platypus gives me Paper Jam Dipper vibes and they are both valid as fuck (the fucked up Doof copy is not valid as fuck tho we’re gonna pretend he didn’t exist)

Don is literally the best part of Where’s Pinky and I’m not just saying that because I’ve been watching Whose Line for years and I was super excited to see Wayne Brady in the credits (and the fact that he was also in both the quarantine rap and catu makes me incredibly happy)

Ooh I almost forgot OWCA Files existed but Harry the Hyena playing the trumpet and the subsequent “you’re gonna be wearing that in a minute” is the best part of OWCA Files and tbh just Doof, Perry, and Harry could have carried an entire series by themselves (though I do also love Karen and Maggie)

WAIT A SECOND THE BUG TRIO FJDSAHFLKSAJD I was trying to pick a favorite last time I watched OWCA Files and every time one of them spoke they were my new favorite like I lowkey thought their plotline was boring but the characters themselves were hilarious

WAIT ANOTHER SECOND HOW DID I GET THIS FAR INTO THE LIST WITHOUT MENTIONING MONTY HOLY SHIT I’M SUCH A FAKE FAN BUT I LOVE MONTY OKAY HE IS LITERALLY JUST OZ FROM BTVS EXCEPT MONTY AND VANESSA HAVE BETTER CHEMISTRY THAN OZ AND WILLOW AND NO I WILL NOT BE ACCEPTING CRITICISM

Wait I forgot Vlorkel too omfg these two belong way higher on the list but Vlorkel is the love of my life (and I lowkey wish she had met Steve the giant chameleon because they would have become best friends)

I wanna keep going but it’s currently 1:45 in the morning (this is why I’ve been avoiding asks during the day: I get way too into them and spend a solid hour and a half on them and I’d never get any schoolwork done lmao) and it’s far from the first time I’ve stayed up this late but I figured it was fine because I have no classes tomorrow but it occurred to me like four seconds ago that I DO HAVE A CLASS TOMORROW SHIIIIT I had an anatomy exam on Tuesday during my usual class time (which if you read my tags you might have known about because I was having an existential crisis over it) so he moved our class tomorrow excePT IT’S NOT TOMORROW IT’S TODAY IT’S LITERALLY IN LESS THAN SEVEN HOURS FUCKING HELL I GOTTA GO TO BED ASAP

[unproduciblesmackdown]

watched the end of some guy’s amnesia: rebirth playthrough and i have some boring thoughts @halloweenhavoc have u finished the game i feel like you have more of a grasp on all this stuff than i do lmfao what with having actually played it and also probably remembering machine for pigs better

i really did not like fully piece together either the lore of the Main Story of the game nor the broader Amnesia Universe Lore lmfao but i was interested in the latter especially, but re: the former, i did like having all these other Known People associated with the protag whose fates we could all find out and shit

i’m like, sort of underwhelmed, but that’s b/c even though i was like “okay so just b/c this is a frictional-produced amnesia sequel a decade later doesn’t mean you need to hype it up like it’s gonna blow your mind just coz atdd was That big a deal” doesn’t mean i still wasn’t partially like oh but what if it is like mindblowing horror game tho......it felt a lot more like soma than atdd which isn’t in itself bad b/c soma rules but when i’m expecting it to be more like atdd it just makes things kinda bemusing and hard to recalibrate.....it was a good game though lol just like the whole time trying to figure out what the experience is gonna be i guess

anyways so like in the direction frictional’s games have gone it def feels like they’re more into Game Environments (those ruled in this game....) and being very like Thematic Story-Centric.....atdd was very stripped down and they sure got creative with that and it was as effective as it was but yeah it feels like now that they have the clout from that and the game production experience and presumably more resources and stuff that they’re progressing in This Direction which is not as atdd-esque lmao like good for them if this is the creative vision, follow those dreams and stuff

did not feel at all invested in any of this baby lore lmfaooo like it was very abstract and also i don’t care. but 10/10 for breastfeeding gameplay

i did like the Other World lore like. this is where alexander is from, Maybe?? i remember he’s mentioned as an apostate from [somewhere else] but like, is that somewhere else in another dimension or just another Region in this world lmao i don’t know. out here Inventing the amnesia potion vitae harvesting strategy, and then it’s Something Else he does that is considered heinous and they just banish him to earth lmfaooo like our problem now......and who is alexander’s wife lmfao. in atdd bad ending, when alexander portals back, does he get to come back to the shitty place where nothing’s going on but eternal vitae harvest i guess? sucks. in atdd sorta-neutral-ending, when you toss agrippa’s head through the portal and then agrippa asks [someone, i forget who....the student? weyer? or whoever??] to Help Daniel, does everyone get to go to this crappy world or are there other better dimensions lmao....also i forget how this The Other World got so shitty in the first place. something something they flew too close to the sun with their technology and it got fucked up, i forget what The Gate even is........i do like this origin story for what the fuck is up with the shadow lmfao. that like, it’s just some other alchemical Invention expressly to fuck up the vitae system?? which is sort of counter to the idea that it’s simply a Guardian of any orbs.....but then also, there was some sort of note or memory that seemed to imply that having fucked up whatever Gate they fucked up created something that sounded like maybe it was the shadow?? or was it just something Else fucked up and b/c it was like “uh oh something shitty is happening here now” i just Assumed it was the shadow.....idfk. but idk maybe since Orbs are Other World Tech For Portals the shadow is just like, Other World Tech Ruiner and if you handle one improperly the shadow will like, sense orb-jostling Lol and be On It....i don’t knowwww

i gotta admit i did love the lore tying to atdd lmfao like maybe this game would’ve been better off not really being tied to atdd but i’m still like oh yep i’m a sucker for cameos / lore about these atdd people places and things.....herbert, alexander, daniel, brennenburg, and someone else i forget who was like “i’m the first human to get to this place but i don’t have A Traveller’s Whatever so i have to die here,” rip to him.....kinda funny that vitae-harvesting is like, so Industrialized in the other world with this factory and mass-produced as it were, which is Fucked Up, and alexander got shot to earth for some mysterious terrible thing and had to invite some rando with an orb to his castle and then get his help torturing other randos with medieval instruments like. banging rocks together over there. also i don’t get what the harvesters job was? they were sure Harvesting but if the vitae is just getting Sucked thru tubes why are these guys going around breathing it in also. just like, stray air-vitae filtering system?? idk

also what was going on time-wise with this weird accelerated pregnancy. i don’t think i get Why tasi got amnesia in the first place. coincidence i guess??? and why...did she end up back in the plane wreckage. was that just where she got dropped off after they were all like. taken from Our World into the Other World and then....back into our world?? i guess??? i’m just not clear on the Timeline Of Events and how everyone got split up with some people dying and shit....was everyone getting attacked by ghuls i guess. there was a crapload of them in that one place, wasn’t there.....i also forget Where things happened lmfaooo like shit was this in Earth or The Other World.....i guess the latter it was always like, “high tech” with that art deco design shit and green light and stuff.....god i don’t know. like i already forget why richard was like, held captive and tortured. just on evil principle??? augh lmfao

also it was certainly Interesting that people turn into monsters around here with some like, magic + corruption deal going on......felt like the Lore in atdd was sort of vague but that it could Maybe tie into that sort of idea....frictional games sure will like, Metaphorically have the Self and the Non-Self But Which Is Tied To Your Self in all its stories, atdd, soma, rebirth......daniel having this past self he’s now detached from but re-learning of his past exploits.......soma copy/pasting consciousnesses.......uhhh also when it was talking about the ideal Vitae Collecting Cycle being fear, amnesia, and then Hope, and about who was the best candidates for that, i was really thinking that like, we’d learn tasi was being put through a [Hope] sequence, basically

also (rachel if ur reading this lmfao) i remember this pre-release Audio Tape that wasn’t in the gameplay that i think was like, the doctor doing an experiment on a Monster to confirm it had regenerative properties?? i thought we were gonna get a whole fucked up subplot dealing with that guy lmfao but nah just at the end......i guess soma’s promotional stuff was similar, they had all these Files and Videos and stuff which was relevant to the Lore / story but which wasn’t like, flatout in the game......i guess at some point the doctor must’ve been like, experimenting on a crew member who was sort of in the process of Turning or w/e. hank or someone i guess.....UHHH i did like “talking” to so many monsters lmfaooo like leon and crap. wild, tragic, etc.......

RIGHT and i think frictional is really creative in its like, Game Mechanics, like how relatively recently we learned that that whole thing about being told that Low Sanity makes you easier to detect in atdd, but that wasn’t true and was just put in the game to put the player more on edge? i mean, daniel keeling over for a moment if sanity gets too low is probably unhelpful in a chase but. and like, here the “sanity” thing was neat, i liked the Sound lol, i liked the flashing images and how that was like, Relevant, but also it seems like you can’t ever die in this game?? basically, ish?? which i think is neat. like, you don’t really Need to.....said it last time how it feels like the player just is still going to react as Urgently if they’re being chased by the monster lmfaooo

idk there was something other neat / creative element i think i wanted to point out as Cool but i forget (HAHA...manesima.....) i dunno the 0.0001% chance any of you are Coincidentally into amnesia at all and know what all is being talked about here and have thoughts....feel free to send me an ask or whatever.......would be inchrested in hearing other takes on it etc

OH and it didn’t feel like machine for pigs was involved at all lmfao which makes sense since it wasn’t actually produced by frictional but now i’m really struggling to remember the Lore there and if it could Conceivably tie in with descent/rebirth-verse.......oswald’s soul got actually split with Evil Orb-Corrupted Self (which!!!! i forgot there’s even the implication that maybe orb-proximity fucks you up. didn’t seem that relevant here. here magic empress fountain water fucks you up) and Amnesia’d Good (Normal-er) Self and there’s the giant machine which is gonna.....consume the world to protect it from self-destructing in another way......or, that was the reason given to oswald anyways, i remember he like sacrifices his kids to it to save them from [his visions of ww1 being an impending thing] and he doesn’t find that out till the end......his evil self tricked his good self into firing up the machine......i forget where the pig men come from or what their point is, and the machine is like, another Factory Line Vitae Harvesting thing, right?? what’s the vitae For in this case....i sure don’t fuckin know. i forget what oswald does at the end as well to like, fix things, i remember feeling sad about it even though he was a horny weirdo.....i really forget what the full picture was there or what the Orb Involvement was. anyways. idk

would be fun to see more frictional games but it seems like they’re not too interested in doing something as atdd-esque again lol, soma seems more like What Frictional Really Wants To Do, which isn’t a bad thing cuz soma rules and like. objectively i guess soma is the better game, i’m not at all mad at anyone arguing soma is better lmfao, i just sure cherish atdd and it sure is the one that made the whole [subsequent horror game defining] splash lmfao. OH YEAH and i liked they threw in another moment where someone’s been alive for ages and you unplug them and it’s like what the fuck. and i guess you do that but even Harder in the one Rebirth ending where you shadow-infect everything and all the people in the vitae-pods die......which like, it Was def creepy having all those vitae pods lmfao. conceptually fucked up.....uh yeah that’s it i guess. was a sucker for the atdd-lore-fanservice stuff lol. thought it was good but wasn’t like atdd 2.0 which is both Totally Fine and also A Bit Disappointing Of Course lol. now i’m thinking about soma some more though which is Worthy cuz that game rules and i love its story / concepts so much. and i love that you keep fisting sphincters to Save until you have to fist your forearm off. we’ve all been there. and i love the “we have the better view. :)” audio log from someone on the surface. and how the gradual reveal of the [lady you talk to throughout the game who guides you along]’s story. and the Ending. and the gradual reveal of Just What Is Going On Around Here

anyways yeah atdd rules soma rules i thought this game was good too but def is like okay you’d rather make soma than atdd and that is valid

thots????????????????

[booty-revolutionary]

road head in the heartland


painted in procreate on 10/11/2020 on a 2020 11-inch ipad pro with an apple pencil on my grandparents’ dining room table


initially shot on 10/11/2020 with the wide lens of an iphone 11 pro while driving through cornville USA


4032 x 3024 resolution


display P3 color profile


15.273 inches wide and 11.455 inches tall


264 dpi


1,894 total strokes


2hr:12min tracked


214.45mb file size


so this was a fun one! i’ve been struggling to “paint” my own casual iphone pics—learning to recreate the images i see in my mind when i am BLASTED is tricky! but it’s also soups fun.


the initial photo was snapped as i was driving around with my mom since we needed to retrieve some warmer clothes from my empty one-bedroom. since my paranoid breakdown, i’ve been staying in a chaotic intergenerational household—my grandparents, my mom, and obi and me. while i can’t wait to go home, i’ve tried to use this time to reconnect with myself in a meaningful way. hence the paintings!


anyway, i was admiring all thos nice leaves and thinking “americana man, corn is boring but also kinda pretty maybe? i would NEVER wanna live here but i can appreciate it while driving through it.” so i snapped some pics as my mom drove and we listened to t-swift (or, more accurately, as i forced her to endure multiple taylor swift albums with frequent interruptions where i explained why i love a certain lyric or what was happening in taylor’s life at the time that she wrote that song and UGH ISN’T GETAWAY CAR THE GREATEST SONG EVER FUCK).

okay um so i had this pic and i was like “okay motherfucker let’s paint this” and i just started brushin’ acrylic and seein’ what might come of it. LO AND FUCKING BEHOLD, i was like wait “what if I ROTATE THE PIC SO THE ROAD LEANS RIGHT AND NOT LEFT.” oh hell ya. road to fascism? NOT GOOD. nice.

then i was thinking “okay these trees, i really wanna make em POP” and then i found the rainforest brush and BOOM we have a fuckin RAINFOREST FOLKS. in illinois. what the fuck.


okay so then i thought “ok when was a cool time when nature got PISSED at america” and thought “MOUNT SAINT HELEN’S.” and like, i LOVE mt. st. helen’s because even though it was destructive af, it also had very nice and pretty things that grew in its Wreck. it also happened in 1980, just like ronald reagan. hmmmmmm!


okay so now i am PRETTY SURE i’m remembering things out of order—you’ll have to check out the youtube version of road head in the heartland (when i get around to uploading it lmao sorry) to fact check me. but i know at some point i was like “need eagle” and so there’s an eagle flyin’ through the cloud but you can’t really see them. but they’re there!


then i was like “wait….what if this road to fascism is covering up green and it’s separated from the brightness of nature with this human-made, essentially untouched gutter that shines brightly in an image consumed by clouds of ignored and obfuscated apocalypse? i love the gutter. i live in the gutter. here, it protecc.”


and then i thought “oh shit, that car could have DIPLOMATIC PLATES” like in diplomat’s son (WHEN I WOKE UP HE WAS GONE) and it’s drivin’ right into the shit, and then BOOM there’s the white house. just smack-dab out of the way and so consumed by its own palace intrigue that it barely notices fuckin’ mount saint helen’s blowin’ us up, let alone THE FUCKING SUPERNOVA i inserted in the top right and lit up and then buried in more cloud.


so now, the white house is completely irrelevant, but also all roads lead to it. american conundrum!


trump is an actor and an avatar of fascism in this story—his own demons have driven him to where he sits, and he only exists because he is nothing more than a right-wing caricature projecting the conservative american id onto an unwilling host. he is the paranoid style that powered the nazi rally at times square in 1938 (or was it 37? 39? not sure don’t wanna google rn). he shapes and creates the swamp but he is also compelled by it. it’s a WILD feedback loop.


i would love to see the network graph of trump’s twitter accounts—not just who he follows, but whose tweets he lingers on, whose hateful screeds he absorbs, whose oaths of fealty to Q tempt the mad king with the dream we all KNOW he thought about when the pee tape was filmed. (it’s real!!! i will not cede this to anyone!!!!!)


so then i just…um, shit. uh…OH YES. THE HEAD THAT THIS PAINT IS NAMED FOR. so infected trump is in the white house but he also finished paving the road to this Wreck (let me be clear—reagan initiated it), and so his head is embedded in this road no doubt about it. therefore, road head. in the heartland. cornville USA.


and, uh, yeah. from there, go crazy with interpreting this. i’ve got a few other ideas but i think this covers the highlights.

[ifishouldvanish]

Editing tips, I guess?

Hey uhhhhh, so I've gotten lots of new followers over the past few weeks and wanted to do some kind of thank you?? Also, I have seen a fair share of "omg HOW" in the tags on my edits (which??? always make my day?? my week??? my life????)

Anyway, I thought I'd share some of my ~techniques with y'all? So here goes:

(lmao this got really fuckin long so cuuuuuut)

1. Make EVERYTHING a Smart Object

Okay, maybe not EVERYTHING, but seriously. Do it. It will save ur editing life. You ever shrink something down and then an hour later change your mind and decide you want it bigger? If you're not using a smart object, it’ll get blurry when you scale it back up and you’ll be fuCKED!

To make a layer/group a smart object, just right click on it in the layers panel and select "convert to smart object". This makes Photoshop store the layer's original data in a separate space for safe keeping (an embedded .psb file, to be exact) -- so you can shrink it and enlarge it as many times as you want without any lossiness.

As soon as I paste/place a screencap, texture, or whatever into my document, the first thing I always, ALWAYS do is convert it to a smart object!!

Why, you might ask?? Continue to item No.2 :)))

2. Harness the POWER of Smart Objects!!

The reason I am obsessed with Smart Objects is because I am obsessed with making any edits as non-destructive as possible. If you use “Image > Adjustments > Levels/Selective Color/etc” on a regular layer, that’s a destructive edit. Same goes for any Filters (such as blur/sharpen) and transforms (Warp, distort, perspective). You lose the original data that was there and the only way it can be undone is with ctrl+z. Might not seem like a huge deal at first, but if you keep chugging along for an hour and decide, “hmm, maybe i went too hard on that levels adjustment after all...” your only options are deleting the layer and starting over, or uh... hoping it’s still in your history panel.

However, it's really easy to avoid destructive edits when you use smart objects!! Because all those adjustments, filters, and transforms become “Smart Filters”. Smart Filters have all the non-destructive advantages of performing these adjustments via adjustment layers, but have the added bonus of ONLY effecting the layer they’ve been applied to, instead of cascading down and effecting all the layers beneath. (Which can be a good thing sometimes, but that’s a whole other topic)

Smart filters are attached to their ‘parent layers’, and can be hidden, deleted, or modified (by double-clicking their names) at any time:

Can I hear a wahoo???

Other cool things about Smart Objects:

You can copy a Smart Filter with all its settings to another layer by alt+click+dragging it over

You can change the order in which Smart Filters are applied by clicking and dragging them around

You can edit a smart object independently/in a sort of 'isolated' mode by double-clicking on its thumbnail!! I like to use this for edits that are specific to a given screencap-- like cutting out the background and any initial adjustments, like levels and selective coloring. Once you’re done editing the contents of the smart object, hit ctrl+s and it will automatically update in the main document!

But really, the biggest thing for me here is psychological. I know I’m much more willing to try things and experiment when I know that I can easily go back and tweaks things at any time. Otherwise, I’d stick with adjustments I don’t really like all that much simply because it would take too much time/effort to redo them.

3. Don't even THINK ABOUT using the eraser tool or I will STOMP YOU to death with my hooves!!

Use a layer mask instead. Please I am begging you. It all comes back to making your edits as non-destructive as possible. If you erase something, it's gone forever. When you mask something, you can make changes to which parts are visible/not visible as often as you want.

For the newbies or the otherwise unacquainted, a mask is a greyscale ‘map’ attached to a layer (or layer group) that controls its opacity. Black areas give the layer 0% opacity, white areas will give it 100% opacity, and you can use shades of grey to achieve partial transparency. You ‘draw’ on these layers with the your trusty brush and paint bucket tools.

You can create a mask by selecting a layer and then clicking the little mask icon at the bottom of the layers panel (it’s the one with the little circle inside the box). Draw black on the parts you want to hide, and if you erase too much on accident? Just paint back over it with white!

I love masks, and sometimes i will throw an already masked layer inside a layer group and apply a second mask to said group. This way I have two masks that can be edited independently from each other. Like layer mask-ception.

So anyway, yes. Eraser tool? Don’t know her.

4. Try using channels to create masks!

This is a technique that works REALLY well for cutting out complex shapes, such as wispy hair (or feathers!) -- provided there's strong contrast between the subject and the background, and the background isn't too busy.

This is also a fantastic method for capturing alpha transparency. For example: If you have a neato paint stroke/splatter/watercolor texture you want to use as a mask, but has a solid background that’s getting in the way of things. This method will capture all the semi-opaque areas flawlessly!!

While editing your image (which you had better have made into a Smart Object!!!) do the following:

Switch from the "layers" panel to the "Channels" panel.

Toggle through the R, G, and B channels, and decide which one has the most contrast for the areas you are trying to mask.

Ctrl+Click that channel's thumbnail. This will create a selection marquee.

Switch back to the layers panel

Click on the target layer/group (the one you are trying to mask)

Click the mask icon at the bottom of the panel (the one with the circle inside a box)

Release the selection and invert the mask if necessary

If you're using this method to cut out a subject from its background, you probably won't want alpha transparency. In this case, select the mask thumbnail and use a levels adjustment on the mask itself to bump the contrast until you have more of a cutout effect!

It sounds like a lot of steps, but it’s really simple! So I made this handy GIF: (click to view from beginning)

Sometimes you won’t want to use this method for the entire image, but just a specific part. For example, if you’ve cut out a character with some other method (magic wand, manual brushwork), but are having a hard time with their hair in particular. Use this method to create the selection, but instead of converting the whole selection into a mask, use the brush tool to apply the mask only where you need it! You can invert the selection itself with shift+ctrl+i.

5. Outlining text

The font I used here is Salomé, which is actually a solid typeface with no outlined version. But you can make virtually any font into an outlined version if you so desire!

There's two possible methods here, actually:

The Easy Way:

Add a stroke layer effect to the text layer (by selecting the layer, clicking the little “fx” button at the bottom of the layers panel, and choosing “Stroke...”)

As far as settings go, aligning the stroke to the inside usually yields the best result/maintains the integrity of the letterforms.

Make the color of the text itself match the background.

If necessary, use the lighten/darken blend modes to create the illusion of transparency.

If you need true transparency (which I didn't until I decided I wanted to apply a gradient over the text), you'll have to try something else-- The Also Easy But Less Than Ideal Way:

Right click the text layer in the layers panel and select "convert to shape".

Now you can edit the fill/stroke the same way you would any other vector shape.

Again, you’ll want to set the stroke alignment to ‘inside’. For vector shapes, those settings are a little hidden. You’ll wanna open up that little dropdown in the toolbar with the line in it, and click “More Options”.

This is semi-destructive, so if you're working with a lot of text you might have to edit later, consider duplicating and hiding those text layers first so you'll have a 'backup' of it.

And while I’m on the topic of text...

6. Try breaking up your text layers!

I know a lot of people like to draw a neat little text box to put their text in, and then they center it all nice and neat and probably use a small font size to make it subtle and stuff... and that’s cool. Everyone’s got their different styles and things they like to emphasize in their edits and there’s absolutely merit to that sort of thing (case and point: the bulk of my dear @herzdieb’s work), but. Listen.

I love typography. I love a good typeface. The stroke widths, the letterforms, the ligatures, the serifs... I get like, horny on main for a good typeface. I like to make the text on my edits BIG, so that those details can shine. I also like doing interesting things with the text. Jumbling words/letters around, distorting them, deconstructing them and just...  letting the text really ~interact with the rest of the composition instead of just kinda politely floating on top of it.

I’m not saying you have to do that kinda stuff. Or that I think neat little floaty text boxes are boring, or lazy, or whatever. It’s just... personally, I get really inspired by type. Fun type treatments are one of those things I LIVE FOR, something of a ~signature of mine, and I encourage everyone to just... try it? To use text as more of an integral Design Element and less of a... idk. A caption?

So if you have a quote, or even just a word... put each word (or letter) on its own text layer. And then: make ‘em different sizes. Make the words so big they don’t fit on the canvas. Rotate each one at a fun angle. Scatter them around. Go nuts. Use masks to chop parts of the letterforms off. Make ‘em overlap. Just have at it. Or, as the kids these days are saying: go absolutely fuckin feral.

If that really just isn’t your style, or doesn’t work/make sense for the edit you’re doing, fine. Delete all the layers and just do a text box or whatever. But. I’m tellin u.

Give it a try.

At least once.

Just... a lil taste.

7. Understand the difference between lighten/darken vs screen/multiply

For a while in my photoshoppin' youth, my understanding of these blend modes basically amounted to "darken makes things darker, and multiply makes things really darker", and vice versa for lighten/screen. But there's an important difference between how these blend modes work, and if you understand them, you can use them more... strategically? I guess?

Darken and Lighten are kinda misnomers tbh, because they technically don't really darken or lighten anything. What they actually do is make it so that only the areas of the layer that are darker or lighter than the content of the layers beneath them are visible. This produces some pretty nifty layering effects that you can't achieve with screen and multiply.

Here’s an example: (if you’re reading this on a phone with the brightness dimmed down you probably won’t be able to see the differences)

Without any the texture applied, you can really see the noise/graininess of Crowley’s jacket in the screencap. You can also see the ‘seam’ where Crowley fades into the background-- the jacket is a green-ish black, while the background it’s fading into is more of a purple-black.

With the texture set to ‘Screen’, the whole image becomes lighter across the board. Crowley’s jacket gets lighter, and so does Aziraphale’s jacket and the pink cloud thing. This does little to nothing to obscure the poor image quality and disguise that ‘seam’.

But with the ‘Lighten’ blend mode, ONLY the dark parts of the image appear lightened, and not only do they appear lightened, but they get kinda equalized. Notice how the patchy jpeg artifacts on Crowley’s jacket disappear, how that color seam smooths out, and how the brightness of Aziraphale’s jacket and the pink cloud doesn’t change at all.

This isn’t to say that lighten/darken are better and that you shouldn’t use screen/multiply. They each have their uses. But most often, I find myself using lighten/darken because the way they work is honestly really helpful? And just cool af?

8. Masking individual frames on gifs

If you ever feel like torturing yourself by making a gif that has frame-by-frame masking, my advice is don't try to mask each frame from scratch. You'll get patchy/wobbly results from the masks being slightly different on each frame.

Instead, mask the first frame, then alt+click and drag that mask onto the next frame. Make any minor adjustments to the new mask as needed, and repeat for each frame. This saves time and more importantly, keeps the masking consistent on areas with little to no movement, which makes a HUGE difference in how smooth the final product will be.

If you look at the edges of the animation, they’re nice and steady and consistent. It’s only the parts that have a lot of movement (like the back of his neck) where you can see any ‘ghosting’/wobbly-ness happening.

Sometimes the mask will move when I copy it to the next frame. Like, for the whole document. It gets nudged 20 pixels down or to the left or s/t every time. I have yet to figure out why, but I’m betting it has something to do with shooting myself in the foot with the frame 1 propagation settings at some point during editing?? ANYWAY, when this happens, just unlock the mask from its layer (click the little chain icon between their thumbnails) and move it back into place.

In these cases, I also like to pick a spot with a hard edge (such as the shoulder in the above gif) as a reference point of where it needs to be moved to. It kinda sucks having to do this for every frame, but you already signed up for some suckage when u decided to mask every frame of a gif, so I mean... 👀

9. Don't be afraid/too intimidated to do manips as needed!

Manips can be tricky if you're really striving for realism. There's light sources and color grading and perspectives to reconcile!! But when you're doing an artsy Edit with a capital E, odds are those kinds of discrepancies will be thoroughly camouflaged by all the levels, black and white, etc adjustments you're doing!

Something I run into often is, "I like this screencap, but the top of their head/hair is chopped off :(" But if I go back through all the screencaps from the scene, there's usually another frame where the camera is planned/zoomed out enough that I can steal the rest of their head/limb from it! And since it's from the same scene/shot, the lighting and color grading should already be a perfect match!

A super simple example:

So I wanted to use this picture of David and Michael for this edit, but 1) They’re standing on the wrong sides for their characters, and 2) part of David’s arm is covered up by Michael’s.

Of course, the easiest course of action would be to just mirror the photo so they’re on the correct sides, but 1) mirroring faces tends to yield wonky results, and 2) that still wouldn’t give me a perfect, free-standing cutout of Crowley to place wherever I want in my composition (as opposed to being forced to awkwardly position him off the edge of the canvas to hide the fact that the other arm is missing)

Fortunately, it only took all of like, two (2) minutes to draw a crude selection around his good arm, copy and paste it into a new layer, flip it around, and add any necessary masking to get the shape right.

My point here isn’t to teach y’all how to do manips, or to pass this off as an impressive example of one. Because it’s really, REALLY not. My point here is to demonstrate that even something as tiny and simple as this can really open up your options for what you can actually do with an edit/composition.

So next time you’re feeling limited/inconvenienced by the crop of a screencap, just... you know. Consider whether or not it’s worth attempting a quick and dirty manip to fix it.

Another Example:

Sometimes you’re torn between two screencaps. You like one element from Screencap A but also want some other element from Screencap B. What to do? Just frankenstein ‘em together. Layer one on top of the other, get them lined up, and mask out the necessary parts.

It’s easy to get hung up on stuff like “Uh... should Crowley’s shoulder be doing that?” but let me assure you that like... the people looking at the final product are none the wiser to your butcherwork and will not notice. Especially if you’re going to add a bunch of contrast and color adjustments later on. (in fact, sometimes I’ll apply those adjustments first so I’m not distracted by any discrepancies that are going to come out in the wash anyway)

“I dunno... 🤔🤔 doesn’t seem anatomically correct... 🤔🤔🤔🤔” thought no one.

Point is... point is... dolphins you can get away with a LOT more than you think you can. Don’t let the desire to make these kinds of manips perfect get in the way of just... making them good enough. The bar isn’t that high, I promise.

10. Know what inspires you

What types of edits get you EXCITED? What kind of work do you see on your dash and go, "oh, I'm reblobbin' THAT!!1!"

I know for herzdieb, she's all about emotional pieces. She likes matching words/lyrics/poetry to on-screen moments and punching you in the feels with both. She hears a song, or reads a poem, and the lightbulbs go off for her, and she does her thing.

As for myself, I just live for the aesthetics of an edit. The colors, the fonts, the composition. I almost never know what text/screencaps I'm going to use when I start an edit. I just see a font I like, or a color palette, or a texture, and think, "I wanna use that!"

And once you know what inspires you, collect that inspo! I hoard textures and fonts. I have them organized into neat lil folders. When I wanna make an edit, that’s where I start. I just browse through them all until one or two start calling my name. Herzdieb collects songs and quotes and poems. Maybe your thing is color palettes, or aesthetic-y photos. Or whatever.

The point here is make the kinda stuff you like/want to see. Not the kinda stuff everyone else is making or the kinda stuff you notice gets the most notes.

11. Be able to let go of things that aren't working

I often begin an edit with a rough idea of the style, colors, or layout I'm going for. And I almost always end up doing... something totally different.

So don't get too fixated on what your initial ideas are. Be open to experimenting and just let the edit be what it wants to be. If something looks nice, do it. If it doesn't, don't try to force it just because, "well, I was inspired by this piece that did xyz and I wanna try it too".

When you see a certain effect that inspires you, just keep it in mind as a possible solution for the next time you make something-- don't make it into a benchmark, or some imaginary 'goal' you have to meet for This Edit You Are Working On Right This Moment. In fact, sometimes the elements I end up ditching are the very ones I started with, that initially sparked my inspiration. And that's okay. Inspiration can be a moving target, and if your vision for something changes, let it.

You wanna know what inspo reference I was looking at when I started that “Temptation Accomplished” edit?

Fucking this: https://search.muz.li/YTdiNjkwN2Rh

You might be thinking, “how the fUCK was that the inspiration??!! Your edit looks nothing like that at all!” ...and you would be 100% correct, and that is 100% my point. I spent a good hour or two trying to incorporate that cutout text layering effect before finally accepting the fact that it just wasn’t working for the edit I was making. And it wasn’t until then that it actually started to come together.

12. Be patient, and take the time to explore all your options!

I’m not gonna lie, y’all. I spend hours on my edits. I usually complete them over the course of 2-3 days/sittings. I rarely have a plan. 99% of the time I'm just throwing things at the wall and seeing what sticks. When I get stuck (when, not if), it helps to step away from it and come back later with a fresh perspective/set of eyes.

Every single edit I've posted, I have at some point felt like giving up on because I thought it looked like garbage (and not just because I was being self-deprecating/doubting myself, but because at those points, they simply weren't finished/something about the composition just wasn't working for me)

Work through those moments, and if necessary, take a break/sleep on it. It's always after I've exhausted my early ideas that the really good ones start to come to mind!

Here’s how the character poster edits I did progressed:

In Classic Me™ Fashion, I literally started off with just... textures I liked, and a font that I liked. Now, there were obviously a lot more ‘steps’ involved in both designs, but hopefully at the very least this gives a sense of how things get from point A to point B.

So uh... thanks 4 comin 2 my TED talk. I hope u learned at least one (1) cool new thing or maybe just feel vaguely inspired by this rambling mess?

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #238

“crimson calligraphy written on the trees, creature from the grave, headless and hellbent for me.”

Have you ever played golf? Like, mini-golf. Is there a lake near your house? No, but there's two small ponds down the road. Have you ever made your own pizza or pasta dough? No. Have you ever watched an entire season of a tv show in one day? Uhhhhh how long are the first few seasons of Supernatural? Because Jason and I fucking binged it, and I honestly think that's partially the reason I don't even enjoy TV anymore. Like I liked the show, but jfc it became torture at some point. Not his fault at all, I just never pointed it out. BUT ANYWAY, it's definitely possible we did. What did you have for dinner tonight (or last night)? A ham and cheese hot pocket. Do your parents do things that ‘embarrass’ you? This is so mean, but my mom makes the cringiest jokes and such imo that gives me mad secondhand embarrassment. Do you like any Bon Jovi songs? Yeah, a decent handful. Who was the last person you were in a car with? Mom. Do you give people second chances? Ha, more than "second." How’re things between you and your most recent ex? We're totally great. Really as if we didn't even break up, considering I mean... nothing emotionally has changed. We just know that being together right now isn't the wise decision. It's frustrating as hell, though. We've already established we're not going to "wait" for each other, but neither of us are actively looking for a new partner, either. I want her, and from what I can tell, she wants me, too. We kinda just... don't talk about how unfair it all is anymore because we both get too upset. I was even supposed to go up there with her and her fam for her birthday and Christmas, but that's changed because she and I agree it's too soon after splitting, making it only more difficult to be around each other. We'd want to cuddle and kiss and such by instinct, so we're trying to wait until the wound isn't as fresh. Though honestly, I don't know how visiting period would go consider as said, there has been zero change in romantic attraction. Ugh yeah I just hope she figures out what she wants and all and we can get back together. Have you been to a wedding this year? No. I'm going to my half-sister's next year, though. Are you an aunt or uncle? Yes, and another niece is on her way. :') Do you expect to be married in the next two years? Probably not. What season is your birthday in? Winter. Have you ever been hunting? Fuck that shit. How often do you walk around barefoot? Always in my own house + in other houses if I'm allowed to take my shoes off. When you eat take-out, do you just eat it out of the containers provided? Usually, but it does depend on what food it is. Ex., those little boxes that have rice in them from Chinese places? I'm using a bowl. From the container is just messy. Would you need to sleep with someone before considering marrying them? Nah. Do you carry condoms? No. Would you date someone who has a hearing aid? ... Yes...? "No" is just... so rude?? Like that is something the person absolutely cannot help, nor is it a HUGE thing. It's just a hearing aid, dude. How organized are the files on your computer? Pretty decent. Folders and such. Could be better still, probably. Have you ever been to a strip club? Nah, not my scene. Have you ever brought home a stray animal? Pleeeeenty of cats. Are you physically strong? No, especially not my legs. I've got a newborn fawn's legs, jc. Still working on building the muscle back up. Would you date someone with braces? Oh my god, fuck off. Yes I would. I was the person with braces dating someone without them, so 1.) I obviously can't say shit, 2.) they're taking care of their goddamn teeth, and 3.) I dunno, wearing braces has no goddamn impact on personality???????????? Does scuba diving interest you? Not to an incredible degree, but it'd be cool. Would you ever ask your parents for relationship advice? Maybe for certain topics. Do you think people look up to you? Y'know that "oh no hunty WHAT is u doin" meme??? That's me if someone does. How often do you have trouble sleeping at night? *blinking* There are people who don't??????? Do you blush easily? Ohhhhhh yes. Do you get angry at yourself or at others more often? Hm. Not sure. Can you name five current world leaders? AHAHA nope. How many times have you had the flu? Zero. Do you think imagination is valuable? Oh hell yes. We would be NOWHERE CLOSE to where we are as animals without it. Who or what are you most impatient with? I don't know. When was the last time you mowed a lawn? Never. Have you seen all of the Star Wars films? No; seen only the first three with a friend and saw zero appeal. He didn't either. How about all of the Harry Potter ones, so far? I haven't even seen one. Jason and I started the first one together but. Paid way more attention to each other than the movie lmfao. What part of the newspaper do you typically enjoy reading? None. I collect my school's papers now though 'cuz I'm the photographer for it. :') Have you ever made a website, even a simple one? Four that I remember. The ancient and now-defunct ones were back when I think this site called Wetpaint was a host for simple sites, and a lot of us RPers posted our mob info and stuff there. I had one for Talons, one for Connrads. Ha, out of curiosity, I think I looked for them not all too long ago since I never actually deleted them, but I think the site itself was re-purposed. NOW, I have a Wix site for my photography, and then Kalahari Manor is a ProBoards-hosted site. Which was better: your childhood or your teen years? Jfc, childhood. Teen years were a chaotic and rancid cesspit in terms of mental health. What was your reaction to your first time falling in love? I truly imagine that realizing I was *in love* with Jason surpassed what a high probably feels like lmao. What does it take for someone to win your heart? I'm actually putting thought into this one and I think what appeals to me in a person most is just being friendly with a good sense of humor and obvious, shameless concern for others. AND JFC, HAVE EMOTION. Don't be a brick wall with me. Lacking an emotional side, positive or negative, is such a turn-off to me. I'm not attracted to robots. Being a gentle person is important, and for me personally, you need to actually act like you're into me. Not just between us. Do not make me a secret. AND BE CREATIVE AND WEIRD AND FRESH!!!!!!!!!!! There's nothing wrong with more "vanilla" people, but just for me myself, I need someone who stands out for some good reason. lol okay this answer's actually getting kinda long, I'll stop. There's a number of ways. What is one thing you would rather be doing? Ha ha yo real talk, Sara and I are getting all emotional and deep into our relationship, platonic or romantic, and I want me and her in her bed right now tearing each other up alsdkjfla;kwejre I love her a lot ok. When was the last time you changed your mind about something? OKAY SO I started a new birth control, right? It. Sent. Me. BACK. With my PTSD. How? Idfk, but I was suddenly obsessing over Him again, badly. I stopped that shit, and wha'd'ya know, two days later, I'm like "lol wtf I don't want him why did that just happen hunty was u ok????????". SO YEAH, that was a trip. Do you know anyone with a lisp? I'm not sure. Possibly. How much weight can you lift at once? No clue. Not a lot. Do you ask guys out, or wait for them to ask you out? I've never asked a guy out, but I wouldn't say I wouldn't. Do you like the last person who showed interest in you? I love her. Describe the last person you stared at? I have no idea. Do you like dating one person at a time, or multiple people? I'm personally monogamous. Have your experiences made you more or less sympathetic to others? MORE. Do you find smoking unattractive? I do. Have your parents ever searched your personal belongings? Mom has. Where did you get your last bruise from? ... Well. This is uh. Awkward. Tying into when I was on that medicine that made my libido fucking uncontrollable (thank the fucking lord I'm back to normal), my breasts are lookin rough, sister. Are you looking forward to anything? Nothing in the VERY near future, I think. A bit further off, Christmas. I can't wait to see the kids so excited again, and for once, we come together as a true family. Plus my #1 wish is to have my Mark tattoo improved at an amazing parlor, and I'm pretty sure that'll be happening, just obvs. not on Christmas Day itself. I'll just be fuckin STOKED when I *know* it's happening. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yes. How much money did you spend today? $1.25 for something from the vending machine. I didn't have breakfast, so I was really hungry. When you’re bored in class, what do you usually do? Try to not doze off. If we're not doing anything, then I'll play around with my phone. Have you ever had a song stuck in your head for more than a day? Oh, definitely. Ever walked into the guy’s bathroom? HA as a stupid elementary school with her friends, we sure did during a work day (my mom used to work with special ed kids at school). We thought we were soooo rebellious. How many wives or husbands do you want? One. What happens if you fall in love with your best friend? Ha, did. I still am, and we hope to be back together someday. Has a teacher ever flirted with you? Not that I know of. Thankfully. Is it okay for friends to kiss each other, as friends? It's not my thing, but sure, if it's consenting and both are aware it's platonic. Do your wishes ever get granted in the worst way possible? Probably in some way at some point I don't recall. How do you feel about your naked body? NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO Have you ever been called obnoxious? I don't think so, anyway. Do you wish you had a bigger family? No. Which friend would you kiss full on the mouth, no questions asked? Sara. Can you do a split or stick your foot up next to your ear? Nope. When was the last time you complained about something? I was venting some mild frustration to Sara earlier tonight. What is your favorite color combination? Favorite is probably pastel orange and light blue. Love it. Then there's pastel pink and purple. Okay pretty much any combination is about the pastels When was the last time you spoke in front of a group? A month or so back when I had to do my Lifeline presentation in FYS. Do you like group projects, or do you prefer to work alone? I strongly prefer working alone. There's no disagreements, compromises, incompetent partners, etc. Have you ever been told you were going to Hell? Yup! (: Indirectly, but. How did you respond? I don't recall, but I wish I did. Who is the most argumentative person you know? She's not in my life anymore partially BECAUSE of that shit. Do you know anyone who is crazy about proper grammar? Yes, but she has OCD as a valid reason. I'm pretty particular about it too to a degree. Who was the last person to make you feel special? Oh my gosh, my therapist told me she was so proud of me and the progress I was making that I just entirely lit up and became a total beaming ball of giggles and "thank you"s. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? No, I'm bi. If your best friend grabs your hand, what do you automatically do? Squeeze it. What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? Cheesy and spicy scrambled eggs, man. Also known as the only thing I can properly cook lmao. Do you tend to flirt a lot, even when the person isn’t single? Fuck no, if they're not single. I'll flirt with my s/o when I see it appropriate or relevant, and in a case where we're both single, I'd be very subtle about it because shy. What’s something that you think is really cute? Off the very top of my head, the Ewoks from Star Wars, oh my fucking god. They were the only thing I enjoyed in the movies. What’s a pretty bird? I mean... pretty much all of them. BUT, can we take a moment to appreciate the bearded vulture? like???? they're fucking BADASS???????????? Besides sleeping, what do you do in bed? Almost... everything. It's the reason I endured/am still recovering from muscle atrophy in my legs. Have you ever hacked into somebody’s account? Playfully, back when that was a thing for friends to do and post lovey-dovey stuff about them everywhere. Megan and I, and I believe Mini and I as well, did it to each other. Possibly more. Is having to pee really badly worse than being really thirsty? Oh hell yes it is. The former can get to a point of hurting. Have you ever touched a Qu'ran? No. Do you love animals more than most? Oh definitely. Why do you eat fast food? It's easy to grab when on the run, and Mom has almost zero time to cook. Then we both have school. Most often I just warm things up in the microwave or grab something substantial enough in the fridge. Is there always going to be that one person you and a friend makes fun of? I guess you could say indirectly, yes. Just something she said in a certain way became an inside joke. Her as a person, no, I wouldn't do that. What is a bad habit of yours that you’re actually trying to fix? Having terrible eye contact. I have a very hard time maintaining it, but I've been trying to keep that weakness in mind when talking to people. Do you write out your feelings? That's one reason why I take these surveys, yes. Do you have bills to pay yet? It's embarrassing that I don't. Not saying like, I want to pay bills, what madman would, but I do want to feel more like a proper, independent adult. Will you be changing your hair any time soon? Not the style, but one thing I'm asking for Christmas is a professional to dye my hair silver. I say pro because my hair does NOT hold color, and because of the bleach needed, Mom's concerned I'll damage my hair if I put my trust into anyone less qualified. Does your mom have a celebrity look-alike? I don't think so, but she looks UNCANNILY like her firstborn daughter. It is SCARY. Is there something you wish you could learn to do? There's loads of stuff. Probably above all, cook. Or stop procrastinating. If you could be amazing at ONE thing, what would it be? Drawing precisely what I see in my head. Because of how important they are to me, I would pay BIG FUCKING BUCKS to get how my 'kats look onto paper. What do you wish people would pay you to do? Complain about my weight. :^) I'd be able to just pay for surgery to fix that within a day. Do you take good pictures? I personally think I do. I mean I wanna be a professional photographer. How would one go about impressing you? It depends on the subject and difficulty of whatever. What probably impresses me most would be someone maintaining a mature, peaceful attitude when there is reason to act otherwise. Self-control, that's it. Do you automatically apologize if you walk into somebody? Duh? Tell me a memory of this summer: It was fucking scorching and I hated every minute of it. What’s something that you don’t need, but really want? Hmmmm. OH, HELL YES. IF I had the proper body to even remotely pull them off, I. Would wear. NOTHING. But corsets. Jesus FUCKING Christ they are so hot. What do you draw more than anything else? Just about all I draw is meerkats. What’s the most favorite class you’ve ever had? The Digital Photography course I took in high school. Or Art Honors my junior year. I really enjoyed the stuff I made. For each person you’ve kissed, describe your feelings in one word: Jason: melancholy; Tyler: dramatic; Girt(?): loyal; Sara: ideal. How do you react when you trip or stumble? Gasp and carry on. If it was a more serious trip, I look around at who saw. Are you good at “biting your tongue”? NO. Why do you love the one you do? She's been there for me without fail, has undying faith in me, supports me through everything, is honest, she's funny and very unique, her adoration for animals shows a great level of compassion, she trusts me so much despite her history, she stands extremely firmly for what she sees as right and wrong... okay I can honestly write an essay on why I love her. Would you rather get [another] tattoo or piercing? GIMME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 THE TATTOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111 Do you have long or short legs? I'd say they're normal, idk. When do you listen to Nickelback? *shrugs* When I wanna? Would you rather make the first move, or your crush? Them. I'm shy.

[aphelyons]

My Creative Year in Review 2018

stolen from but also requested by inspired by @drstrangewillseeyounow​

Preface: This will be a bit of a mashup of two things; art and writing. But I’ll be clear. This is also a long post, I’m very sorry. Apparently I don’t shut up.

Total number of creations? (Or a rough guess!)

Art - Finished; 221 (not all published) Art - WIPS; 25 Writing - Published; 4 Writing - WIPS; 9 ?

Was there a project that you didn’t get around to?

In terms of starting or finishing? Lol. I didn’t get around to publishing the first chapter of the MU fic, which I desperately still want to before S2 starts. Because I keep writing all the middle bits instead. Nor did I get around to start writing the “winter fic” beyond plot points and a few little scenes.

There’s a looooooooooooooot of art I didn’t get around to either starting properly or finishing. Lol. I have a L’Rell piece I really want to do, as  well as [another] mirror Stamets piece I want to do.

What was the creation you had the most fun making?

Art: Oh that’s hard. A lot of things for a lot of different reasons. I enjoyed the Holiday artworks because they were….really out of my depth and fun. Mostly I loved sending them out on cards to friends.

More recently I had a lot of fun doing the Patroclus and Achilles piece. Loved using golden hues.

Also have a lot of fun with Not Safe for Work-Viewing pieces, but those will never be published here. :D Sorry.

Writing: I had a surprising amount of fun writing the Vampire AU fic [Just a Taste] for Halloween. Which I never expected to write anything vampiric, ever, and also it came together really quickly. Building the world in that short fic was a lot of fun.

Any surprises? (E.g. a character or ship you never thought you’d create for or a project that came out of nowhere?)

Well honestly this whole revival to art and writing came as a surprise, I hadn’t done either in many years. I was also never a Star Trek fan prior to Disco, nor have I ever been a part of a fandom before. This is my first! So that was surprising, also surprising was how massively obsessed I became and how important it became to me. But the best surprise out of all of that is the connections to people I’ve made and the friendships that have come from that. ily. <3 Also not going to lie, pretty surprised that suddenly my art has become mega-fuckin-colourful. Where did this love of neon come from??? Wtf

What was the hardest creation to make?

Writing; MU fic - hands down. I have pages and pages and pages of resources. Not only is it going to be a long story (I endeavour and hope) but also from the amount of which I am pulling from and want to align to canon as as best I can as well. Being a new fan to Trek also... it’s been pretty overwhelming to get these details right. But at the same time, really trying to flesh out a character we never met or saw in the show, and have them interact with the established canon and have that all make sense… That and have the science in it make as much sense as possible, I’ve based a few new things on scientific principles and things that exist and just trying to elevate them to a cosmic scale… and hope I can pull that off too. It’s pretty intimidating. Not going into it, but the way the story weaves and intersects with a few different genres.. I just want to have it make sense in it’s self contained body of work.

Yeah it’s hard. Lol. Biggest thing I’ve ever tried to do. But, I love it, truly. I think about this whole project an inhumane amount of times every day, and I love that. 

It’s also hard because I’d love to be a linear writer, but I am not. At all. I’m constantly writing ahead, well and truly ahead, but then coming back, adding to and editing earlier bits and rewriting and rewriting….rewriting… ugh

The subjects and themes are also a little heavy, and it’s cathartic to write about, sure, but also wanting to do those moments justice and with respect and integrity - because that’s important to me too.

The whole thing is just a lot of fuckin work, lol. But I really love it. Already - and it’s nowhere near done.

Art; Probably the one where Paul is laying down [crying] in the spore chamber. It was my first return to trying to paint semi-realism, and... it didn’t work out. I’m not happy with it anymore, but also proud that I pulled it off. That pose? Hair? HAND? UGH those took me too long to get right. But, overall it certainly taught me a lot to use on future more realism-ish pieces such as the Cosmic/Celestial pics of Hugh and Paul [which I love.]

What inspired you the most this year?

Oh, easy. Discovery. Hugh and Paul, hands down both of those things. But also to the endlessly talented people who I’ve come to know and also enjoy the works of - be it written, art, or otherwise. Creativity inspires creativity. 

What are you most proud of? (A creation, something you learned, etc)

Art: The Cosmic/Celestial pieces. Very proud of those. (So much so I made metal prints of them and they sit on my bookshelf between a salt lamp.) I really love how they came out, and really the original (Cosmic Paul) was kind of an accident, a happy accident if you will.  

Also the piece of Anthony I did for Anthony’s birthday. That was a lot of fun constructing something visually representative of a person.

Any goals/plans/ideas for next year?

Fucking get some headway on my MU fic so I can stop being so annoying by just talking about it, and fucking start publishing it already -  for then it then it would EXIST in the word. LOL. Ugh. That’s the only big plan, that’s all I want to do. Whatever art I will do - I will just find inspiration in the moment to do. No plans, other than the L’Rell piece and a couple other WIPs - maybe.  

Honestly just that and trying to keep improving, both in writing and in drawing. I feel like I’ve improved over this past year, so would love to just continue on that trajectory.

Pick your favourite creations! (Post links and tell us why you love them!)

The Cosmic and Celestial Series I just love how these turned out, especially because it was such a surprise how it turned out originally. But being able portray this cosmic divinity of which I uphold them both to be in my mind was really awesome to pull off. The colours, and dramatic light, this whole thing was so fucking fun. The whole painting with colours as highlights / shadows / dual light source was a huge experiment for me and it taught me a huge amount, so I really love it for many reasons.

The Song of Achilles  I started sketching this while I was listening to the audio book and while I fell in love with these two. Please, again, do go read this book. But the detailing on the spear, the auras and Achilles hair were my favourite bits. Oh and the gold blood. Of course, lol. Loved doing the symbolic imagery 

Anthony Rapp’s Birthday Portrait  Because this man means a whole lot to me, and it was nice really nice for a change of pace to try and depict him and things that are important to him. Also really proud of that shoe, ngl. & And MU Stamets and his Mycelium Sun

Huge experiment in terms of colour and lighting for me, and I love love love how it turned out. Even if it’s a little rough. This one was so much fun, and I also printed this out on metal actually lol. Looks pretty cool.  & First MU Culmets Work Still in my heart, even though it’s a earlier work, because it was the first exploitation of this duo for me, and how they might be together. Also where I came up with the HC for his facial scar, which I always will include in any MU Hugh depiction of mine. But I still really like how their characterisation translates in this one.

Writing

Nomenclature.  

The archaeology AU story I wrote for 30MinuteLoop. Also well, this is the only one that’s safe for viewing that’s published, lol, but I am genuinely really proud of this and seeing it through to completion. 

But also the MU story is a fave, but this is the only published section so far:

MU Snippet (These next couple of questions are directly from @drstrangewillseeyounow​ sorry I’ll be so literal in their structure, lmao)

How you decide on which style to use for individual pieces?

Unless it’s something very specific in mind (like the holiday pieces) I just kind of let it take a life of its own. See what it evolves into. I might have one idea to where I want it to go before I export it to PS, but once in PS it might take a whole new life (prime example if the original Cosmic/Celestial Paul. The original was very flat, and pretty boring lol but really became something else in PS. Actually it was supposed to be originally a visual piece to accompany my Vampire fic - and Vampire Hugh picture. But that changed entirely once I got it into PS.)

(It’s hard to see but there’s a bite mark on the original side.)

I'd also know more about your literal process, as in: what's your hardware set-up, what software do you use?

I have a weird all over the place set up. Lol.

So I do the majority of the work on my iPad, up until a stage where I don’t think I can go any further with it (or need more than 6 layers at my disposal) and then export it to my PC (either work or home) and then work on it further in Photoshop. Of which it then gains infinite amount of layers, lmao. Oh god.

As for the file on the iPad, when I’m working on that I can only have 6 layers. So usually will do sketch/line-work on one (or two, if I have to work a problematic bit but then merge it with the rest) and same with the colour/painting. That’s always on one layer, which I’ve grown to really like working like that. I might do skin on one, then clothes on another, but eventually will merge them.  If it’s a full paint (or even half paint maybe), the colour and line layer will eventually be merged as I erase the lines I no longer need as I go and blend that layer more seamlessly into the painted layer. It just ending up a purely painted file without the original lines. Another layer may be added for more delicate details such as eyelashes and eyebrows, things like that.

Everything I do once exported to Photoshop is just with a mouse, I have a Wacom tablet… But I don’t use it, because I haven’t been bothered calibrating it with my dual monitor setup, and am happy doing most of the work on the iPad anyway as it kinda acts like a Cintiq in that regard. But localised. (Plus I can take it anywhere with me, interstate, overseas, to work, to the park, etc. I love that mobility.) Depending if I need a certain element that’s vector based, I’ll make it in Corel Draw or Illustrator, too. I also have Corel painter....buuuuuuuuut still haven’t used it. That’s a goal for 2019 for sure, lmao. Very occasionally I will physically sketch out the idea (like the holiday pieces) scan, and rework, redraw, line it, or whatever in the iPad then go forth with all of the above processes. 

How long does it usually take you from start to finish?

Art: How long a piece takes really varies lol. Sketches can be between 1 - 4 hours on average, sometimes more. Flat colours will be a couple hours more. Half paints usually 4-8 more hours. Full paints and more realism stuff like the Cosmic/Celestial is total of 18hours+ but those times are just a rough idea, sometimes something just works out a lot quicker. Sometimes longer. 

Writing: FOR FUYCKING EVER. I’m the slowest writer ever.

Do you have art WIPs and what do you think keeps you from finishing them?

I have a lot of art WIPs lol I think just losing drive or inspiration to finish them is what mainly kills them, or me getting frustrated that it isn’t working out like I wanted. Sometimes I just forget they exist.

Probably same goes for writing, too. Lol. Also it could be that I’ll dream up the entire (or mostly) of the story, but then getting it onto the page is hard. I want to work at getting better at that.

Do you do any non-fanart, too?

Sure. Although not often anymore, I’m honestly just inhumanly obsessed with Hugh and Paul.. Even when I start a project that isn’t centric to either or both of them… Often it will kind of morph into them. oops. 

I want to say yes to fic too...but That’s a project I haven’t worked on in fucking years and years, so I doubt that really counts anymore.

//end

Wow I am so sorry that was me just rambling on. Anyway, cool. Hi to anyone who made it this far.   I’ll also parrot the line of: Everyone who created/posted art, fic, gif-sets, vids, cosplay, etc., consider yourself tagged if you’d like to be. I’m curious! (I’m fucking serious, P L E A S E   D O.) 

[fairymint-archive]

Felix, what made you want to start RPing a self-insert character? What parts of your character would you say represent the inner you? Do you differ from muse-Felix in any way, opinions or preferences-wise? why's your hair so great? How long would you say you've been writing characters, roleplaying or not?

Felix, what made you want to start RPing a self-insert character? 

I’ve been self-inserting my names in the game files because I thought that’s what the game wanted from me, so the characters came naturally even as an artist on deviantart, it became a social thing to make comics and shit.My first self insert was for pkmn-crossing, which was going to be huge. IIRC I got super into the idea as an act of defiance? somewhere in some kinda guide stated selfies as not unique and boring, and….that doesn’t calculate for me. I find selfies far more unique than other characters when the same effort’s put down.

Unfortunately as deviantart migrated to tumblr I lost touch with a good 90% of my friends….so I was done RPing, done creating content. But the moment I started fucking around with a lysandre blog via my personal, the fandom pulled me into it again, so I was back at it only 1000% less uptight about it, actually using my own sense of humor rather than trying to seem serious.

so defiance followed by popular demand. I’ve stayed true to the fun side of it since tumblr! crack/silly fuels even my most serious writing~

What parts of your character would you say represent the inner you? 

Outer is easy; A lot of my traits are uh, notable IRL so it’s fun keeping physical stuff the same in my case. Regardless;

A lot of what he thinks is either a genuine gut reaction, purposefully unfiltered for Rule of Funny, or something more serious put through an animalcrossing/whatever fandom filter, so everything he does is rather at least a part of me.

I try to keep his emotions consistent- I’ll often look of references of my partner’s muse, voice or full appearance, so that I get the full picture and he reacts accordingly; If any of it gets a visible reaction out of me, it’s going to get incorporated no matter how much it might ‘embarrass’ me or whatever.  We’re calm, empath, anxious, occasionally manic, and impish. I also keep: Autistic stims, appropriate RA symptoms for the thread’s setting, and his reactions are definitely a what-if; He’s not going to appreciate things he hates or being mistreated the way I can appreciate the interaction, lol.

Do you differ from muse-Felix in any way, opinions or preferences-wise?

well i don’t make cat noises nearly as often so jot that down LMAO-

His opinion of a muse is modified into first person- I don’t like strangers IRL nor a good chunk of people offline, so that’s fully taken into consideration; I think every single thread I do is hilarious, while he takes it seriously.Even if he knows a character, or even finds them attractive, meeting them ‘in real life’ makes them still a stranger so he’s relatively super mean at first compared to later on. There’s also disbelief and curiosity.

Occasionally I throw in stuff my cat does, but that’s a lil rare~ another Rule of Funny thing. I often put things that’re like ‘ok that would be funny’ and so it be! Like any of my muses, he comes to me most during the reply no matter how much i plan ahead before getting into that textbox.

Sometimes? when i got nothing, icons also write his mood and my reply for me, it’s more a tool for me than a standard or for ppl to look at.

Felix is also very responsible/presentable while Sea is manic, on average. I flip between the two often more like a mood; cat mayor cares about his reputation, seakitty does not give one shit about it. I’m both-

why’s your hair so great? 

!!!! ///// well....the slight curliness is natural. wish I realized that sooner, my mom always thought it messy and unkempt....it’s very obvious it came from my dad and she had obvious zero experience with it. Like, I didn’t realize it defied fucking gravity until a while I cut it short myself.It has to be a Native/Russian thing, cause my fiancé is also Native-White and his hair does the same thing.

as for the cut, accidental. it just randomly fuckin parted this way after my undercut so i had half of it shaved. Willow’s is the same, but longer and was a 1 shave while mine was a 3.

How long would you say you’ve been writing characters, roleplaying or not?

my first roleplay ever was with my 2 cousins when smash 64 was new, we did some kinda DBZ self inserts.....tabletop style? Like we rolled and the older one DMed i guess! I was 7 then, so 19 years ago.didn’t write again until i made comics about Lucky Boo, 2 years later. These started with OCs fighting DBZ style until smash comics replaced them. sure did love me some DBZ at the time~so i guess i’ve been writing comic/script for 17 years ish? but i never did text/para until 7 years ago.

[ssironstrange]

about me

so because i haven’t done one of these since i hit like.. 100 followers? and i don’t feel like digging through my shit to reblog it again, and i’ve gotten a few personal asks...

i go by moki. a select few of you know my real name and i don’t mind yall using it when talking to me one on one, but moki has been my moniker for the last 20 years give or take and i highly prefer it.

i’ll be 30 in october (and high-key freaking out about it. rip.)

i really, honestly, truly do not care what pronouns you use for me. the closest thing i identify as is genderfluid. i’m biologically female and present that way most of the time just because i’m 1. lazy 2. live in one of the most conservative states in america and 3. extra lazy and just don’t want to Deal With It. but personally i feel pretty androgynous so whatever you feel comfortable calling me is fine by me.

i’ve never known wtf to say my sexuality is so i just file it under generic queerness. consenting human adult who is not related to me is my sexuality. there you go. i’m also polyamorous with a non-poly s/o and we’ve been together for 9 years. with that in mind please don’t get all weird with me. i’ve yet to have that problem but hey, never know.

i’m super open minded. very few things are off limits for me to talk about. tmi doesn’t exist with me. i’ll talk to you about weird sex stuff, i really don’t care. i’ll talk to you about mental illness. i’ll talk to you about your daily boring life. i don’t judge and i will always try to be supportive in whatever way i can. if you need to vent just hit me up. don’t even need to ask. just rant and bitch at my dms as much as you need to!

i have pretty severe ADD and it was only diagnosed a couple of years ago and it’s been a royal fucking bitch trying to treat it. i was doing pretty well on adderall but i built up a tolerance and can’t go any higher with it. on vyvanse now and i really don’t like it. probably won’t be switching to anything else anytime soon though. going through med changes is just so exhausting. and expensive. so, yanno, sometimes i can be spacey af while other times so fucking hyperfocused on something i can’t shut up about it. 

also went from your basic general depression to severe major depression in the span of like 2 years and tbh i’m still very slowly crawling my way out of it. fucking ironically tumblr has really helped with that LOL i spent my entire life around toxic, abusive, and negative environments so those are like the last thing i ever want to be. thus, i try to stay pretty positive. i cope with humor, too. so yeah, despite my cheerfulness and joking i’m usually pretty down.

got that hella bad anxiety on top of it all. most of mine is social anxiety, but in general i’m a pretty fuckin anxious person. coupled with my add my mind can be a terribly loud place sometimes. those two also give me some baaaaad insomnia every once in a while.

and like all that wasn’t bad enough, i’ve also got pcos and all the wonderful imbalances that come with it.

i never get enough sleep. my usual is 5 hours a night. about once a month i’ll sleep for like 20 hours straight. super not healthy but i can’t help it always. tired is my state of existence. 

i’ve been in various medical fields for like... 8ish years. jobless currently as of last week but w/e i’ll find something soon i’m sure.

i have 4 cats. i love cats. i’m that person that cries when they talk about how much they love cats. i’m wearing a cat shirt right now. in cat pj pants. with two cats sleeping next to me. i fucking love cats. kittens are my weakness. had 5 cats, but in january we very suddenly lost one of them to either viral meningitis or brain tumor (most likely tumor since the others didn’t get sick. i didn’t want an autopsy done) and tbh i’m still not over it. i honest to fucking god love them like my children, more than i love most other people. it felt like a part of me died with him and i miss him so much every damn day.

i’ve been told i come off as confidant on here?? lmao thats so far from the truth. i have so little confidence. what i do have is an enormous lack of fucks to give about a lot of things - one of the only perks of getting older i’ve found. i’m quiet and weird and super self-conscious and awkward and i legit only have like 2 irl friends bc i don’t make them easily. i don’t like talking - like with my voice. i’d for real be mute if i could.

music is super important to me. theres only a handful of genres i don’t like. i’m basically listening to it constantly.

anyway, there you go. some stuff about me. enjoy i guess?

[llawlietofficial]

my stream of consciousness during death note (2017)

So I finally watched this shit show last night, and kept a running document of every thought I had in order. Here are some of the top ones: (under the cut because....it gets a little long. it’s worth it though!) 

okay so first of all what the fuck is this opening song. 

LOSER LIGHT GETS PAID TO DO PEOPLES HOMEWOEK. 

Wow I wish I was as cool as goth head cheerleader Misa Mia

Ooh look at that chemistry

Light looks like a failed wannabe white guy kpop star

Someone gif those opening "death note" letters please

What's with the fucking illuminati symbols on the book ??

Rain makes everything more symbolic I can't believe the creativity of their choices

Aw he's seeing a girl get bullied OF COURSE that's motivation enough to kill

I can't believe Light is a feminist icon stepping in to save Misa Mia like that.

Oh god his whole speech about “technically you bullying me is child abuse” needs to be a copypasta. Someone needs to slap that kid.

SOMEONE JUST SLAPPED THAT KID.

Why does his voice sound like that

Why does his face look like that

Why does he have frosted tips

I can't believe Light is the loser loner pining after the head cheerleader with a girlfriend.

Light is ?? A troublemaker ???

Why is the death note so crusty looking

Marbles.

LIGHT'S SCREAMS MAKE ME SCREAM I want that as my ringtone

"Shall we begin." Wow I love Star Trek Into Darkness.

"Some 8 foot tall demon looking motherfucker" is honestly the best possible description of Ryuk so at least they got that one right.

RIP Light's first victim, Kenny Doyle. You will be missed. 

This Bitch chooses one of the most violent possible deaths for his first victim ???? But canon light didn't like. Start out wanting to cause his victims physical pain. He's not a sadist he's a moral janitor. 

CANON LIGHT WOULD HAVE THOUGHT CHEATING WAS A BIG DEAL !! HE WOULD HAVE KILLED PEOPLE LIKE HIMSELF !!

Oh my god he's so angsty just get a fucking diary.....wait...

Wow I love blatant exposition dropping. I wonder how many times him and his dad have had that exact same conversation over dinner conveniently explained Light's tragic backstory. 

Because this is America. You can't kill people without a tragic backstory (if you're white)

Is he going to scream like that every time Ryuk shows up?

"Your fingers are huge." Hmm? Why do you care about that, Light? Unless you have something you want to share with the class? 

I can't believe they changed Ryuk's motivation that's like everything about him as a character. He didn’t say he was bored like, a single time in this whole series what’s the point. 

He has a whole file on his tragic backstory that he keeps laying around in his room this is next level bullshit.

JESUS FUCKINF CHRIST LIGHT WHAT HAPPENED TO SIMPLE HEART ATTACKS

He. Impaled himself. On a steak knife.

Light's mom was a hippie !!!!!

I can't believe Light's motivation is "karma's a bitch" what an icon. 

I can't believe Misa Mia’s turned on by murder.

Actually. I can believe that.

Light's just. Carrying around the death note right in the open.

"I can't tell you” *brief pause* “so you really want to know?" BITCH YOU EIDN'T EVEN LET HER ANSWER. SHE SEEMED SO UNINTERESTED ANYWAY. WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS COMPULSIVE NEED TO CONFESS THAT YOU’RE A MURDERER! 

LIght wants pussy that bad.

"Your poetry sucks" okay I actually kind of like that line, Misa Mia’s a snarky bitch like she deserves to be. 

She looks bored. Light she doesn't want part of your murder fest !! you don't have to confess so often !! 

as soon as the police swat car hit that guy my friend turned to me and said "when you're a police officer but still text and drive"

Ooh blurry lights that's an edgy cinnamon topography choice.

I don’t like how everyone in this movie is all mumbling.

How many people are going to make mood boards out of the scene where Light and Misa Mia are leaning against that neon sign???

"Do you think I'm crazy?" "If anything I think you're not crazy enough" wow I love the joker and harley quinn!! normal is just a setting on the dryer~~~ rawr

TEHY'RE POST MURDER FUCKING

I said out loud "I can't believe they're going to post murder fuck" and my friend said "But you'd think that was kinky in high school" and i said "hell I think that's kinky now" why am i like this

I can't believe this whole murder fuck montage. They're so cute and in love. My friend just said “relationship goals” and i want to turn off this movie.

Is that Beastly in their school library????

"What they want is a god." 

Okay actually I can see Light getting off on talking about he's a god while fucking. I've read enough fanfiction to prepare me for that scene.

Why does he look like that??

I just love that "Kira saves" graffiti

Why did Kira kill 11 people in a nightclub what did they do ? so serial cheating for money is okay but getting drunk and having sex isn’t?? alright Light. 

L looks like a serial killer with the mask and the hoodie and the dead bodies and I’m.......not loving the look

WATARI ISN'T EVEN JAPANESE. THAT'S NOT EVEN HIS NAME. WHY IS THE ONLY JAPANESE ACTOR THE ONLY CHARACTER CANONICALLY NOT JAPANESE. 

I appreciate his continued sweets addiction though. He is. The only good thing in this movie.

Is he singing wizard of oz what the fu k is happening in this movie

Why do they all talk so quiet

the most inaccurate thing that’s happened so far is actually L taking a nap

Could Light act....a little LESS blatantly on Kira's side????

Detective James Turner.

Honestly this movie is just......boring.

I feel like the voices are at a much lower volume than the music and it’s just...bad

How does he know Kira's in Seattle ??? Is this explained or did I just miss it ???

"What would you do if some guy fucked me?" "I’d kill him." Wow I love this scene in Baby Driver.

I want that furniture. 

Oh I get it. His voice is muffled because of that fucking face mask. 

"Rest your glutes" 

All the things they could have kept and they kept L and Watari giving Light's dad ice cream?

Okay we see Light and Misa at school all the time, but are they ever ??? In class ??

OF COURSE L IMMEDIATELY GOES ON NATIONAL TV

L in a big black hoodie with the big American flag waving in the background is exactly what I expected out of this adaptation.

Light telling Ryuk to shut the fuck up is something I imagined hundreds of times in the anime but never thought I would be lucky enough to see on screen. 

"Besides I think you can tell when you're sitting across from a killer like Kira." HAHAHAHAHA WOW I LOVE THIS DRAMATIC IRONY !!

Light is smart. We know this because we keep saying how smart he is. It doesn’t matter that he’s not making any smart decisions. We said he’s smart so he is. 

I can't believe it's dark outside and they're both wearing sunglasses. You know who wears sunglasses indoors? Douche bags. And blind people.

Ooh Misa Mia doesn't want to pop popcorn and murder a few people there's gotta be trouble in Hollywood romance paradise

I hate the music choices in this movie. a lot. 

"There are no sides. Only the game.” what. 

I can believe Misa Mia’s casually watching torture porn on tv

WHY IS LIGHT'S DAD BASICALLY COMMITTING SUICIDE BY ANNOUNCINF HIS NAME AND HAVINF A PRESS CONFERENCE AND WHY DOES HIS VOICE SOUND LIKE THAT. there's a difference between not being afraid and being a fucking idiot !!! 

I can't believe Light just admitted to not being the good guys anymore.

I CAN'T BELIEVE MISA MIA IS LIGHT ???

Light needs to put his dick away. He really needs to put his dick away.

The cafe scene is really aesthetically pleasing and I hate it. 

"I don't do check, Light, only checkmate" FUUUUCK. 

IS THIS HOe FUXKING ADMITTING ?? THIS DUMB HOE IS ADMITTING TO BEING A SERIAL MURDERER AND ASKING L TO JOIN HIM THIS IS. A SHITTY FANFICTION. WHY IS HE SO DUMB. WHY DOES HE CONFESS TO WVERYONE HE TALKS TO.

Is Light going to get back with her just because she said I love you  ?? LIGHT SHE TRIED TO KILL UR DAD respect yourself !! 

Watari isn't his real name ????  Also what's the point leaving him alive? Free ice cream? Jesus light.

Why do they say Kira with the accent if it's not Japanese ?

L is.....coming slightly unhinged.....he seems.... to have a lot more anger issues that he needs to work through.

LIGHT IN A TOP HAT. I can't believe they're going to this dance. 

I just said "At a certain point it's not even entertaining anymore. It's just pathetic." and my friend, who is now drunk, said "I'm still pretty entertained but maybe it's because I'm drunk."

I can't believe L grew up in that creepy ass murder shack. 

Actually. I can believe L grew up in that creepy ass murder shack. Also I saw the illuminati symbol like five times in that house so what's the truth????

HE DOES HAVE A NORMAL PEOPLE SCARE ME STICKER IN HIS LOCKER I THOUGHT THAT WAS AN EDIT.

Lmao I can't believe Misa Mia was the real mastermind the whole time. "You don't get to feel morally superior for being a pussy." OH SHIT. Oh my fuckin god he fuckin dead.

also L needs to calm the fuck down. Do they not teach you how to drive in the orphanage?

I don't know just what happened with that store owner attacking the armed black man assaulting the teenager in an alley way but it felt racist.

Light is desperate and pathetic. Has he made....a single smart decision?

"JESUS TAKE THE FERRIS WHEEL!!! TAKE IT FROM MY HAND !!!"

Chicago's I Don't Wanna Live Without Your Love? Are you fucking kidding me?

At least Misa Mia died how she lived. Aesthetically pleasing. 

What the fuck is even happening in this movie. HE CONFESSED TO HIS DAD TOO. 

"I thought I was going to kill all the bad guys and re good guys would win but it wasn't like that" OH LOOK !! CONVENIENTLY A MORAL !!

and in the end, the white loner character who develops a god complex and goes on a murderous rampage killing hundreds of people and declaring himself god.....gets away with it......but at least he learned a valuable lesson about the nature of good and evil !!!! 

anyway those are my thoughts I hope you liked them !!